Not All Who Wander
Rated: Teen and Up
Summary: Four friends travel the wilderness, finding support in sticking together.
Chapter 16 [Previous] Read on Ao3
Much to his chagrin, there was a discussion about Sean's failed attempt to leave his friends.
After Ransom had heard all, he left the hut abruptly. Sean's gut twisted but he remained silent. Rune seemed to have forgiven him, though she was watching him closely. He couldn't really complain, given the circumstances.
Wes had initially looked a little startled, but he was surprisingly supportive; he nonchalantly told Sean that running away wasn't the worst thing one could do. Sean wanted to ask more about that, but it seemed to be the end of the conversation.
Later that morning, Ransom returned and sat down next to Sean at the table. A light rain had begun outside and he looked a little damp as he got comfortable on the bench seat. "Listen, I should have done this before, but I wasn't thinking," Ransom began. "Here I've been spending all this time with Genesa, learning about her healing herbs, when I could have been asking which ones might be helpful for you." Sean swallowed hard at the regret in Ransom's tone. He didn't want his friend to feel responsible for his actions, and he told him so. But Ransom just shook his head. "We're going to fix this," he said. "You're meeting with Genesa after the evening meal. I'll take you there myself. She'll help you."
"Okay," Sean's eye widened. Dread pooled in his gut, but he supposed he deserved some discomfort after the trouble he'd caused his friends.
Inside Genesa's hut, Sean sat down nervously at the table where she'd indicated. His heart dropped a little as he watched her wave Ransom out of the hut. Ransom dipped his head in respect and ducked out, closing the door behind him.
Sean tried to tamp down the vague panic rising in his chest. Genesa busied herself by the hearth, pouring fresh water into a blackened kettle and hanging it over the fireplace to heat.
Then she turned her keen gaze onto Sean, and his throat tightened with anxiety. Pacing over to the narrow table, her necklace clacking softly, she sat across from him. One wrinkled hand reached across the tabletop to take his face firmly in its grasp.
He averted his gaze and tried to breathe. This is what he feared might happen. The nerve endings on his prosthetics seemed alight with every sensation as she turned his head one way, then the other, examining each side of his face. Every touch made him want to recoil, and his muscles were stiff with tension.
She released his jaw from her grip and he swallowed hard. Next, she grabbed his metal hand and extended the arm out straight on the tabletop to study the appendage. Prodding at the junctions of his elbow and wrist, she flexed the arm and then turned his hand palm-up, wiggling each finger by turn. Pulling a small tool from her pocket, she proceeded to tap lightly with the pointed tip all along his arm.
By this time Sean felt he was no longer fully present in his body. His vision glazed over, and the images from his optical prosthetic began to have slight distortions around the edges.
Genesa peered at his face again and set his hand down. She stood, then perused her shelves of herbal remedies, talking softly to herself.
"Hmm, very bitter but it's a good choice," she muttered. "Here, this one will help that," she said as she reached for another, then one more. She shook out portions of each of the three herbal remedies into a wooden cup, then poured the now-boiling kettle water over the leaves. Setting it on the tabletop, she sat down again across from Sean. "Now, we wait," she announced. "Too short, and it will be a weak brew. Too long, and the bitterness will be overpowering. It needs to be just right." He nodded absently, feeling detached. She tsked once and stood, grabbing up a broom and sweeping the floor, humming tunelessly as she went. Next, she picked up a cloth and wiped some dust off the shelving.
Soon enough she was poking at the herbal brew with a spoon, deeming it finished, and strained out the plant matter. Handing the cup to Sean, she said, "Drink."
He swallowed nervously and took a small sip, making a face as the taste gave him an involuntary shiver. "Yes, that's it," Genesa said, smiling wide. She pointed to the tea. "That's how you know it's working."
Sean braced himself, drank the rest of the tea quickly, forcing down the shudder of disgust, and stood abruptly. "Th-thank you," he stammered, his face reddening. She nodded at him and he fled the hut.
Outside, the pouring rain soon soaked him to the skin, and he blinked rapidly, trying to see through the blur of water. He passed the central fire pit, now steaming and dark in the rain, and ran straight up to the hut he shared with his friends. They all turned to look at him as he shut the door behind him and leaned against it heavily, breathing hard.
"You okay?" Wes asked from the table, where he was snacking on some leftover bread and meat from the evening meal. "You look a little spooked." Sean nodded and shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. Rune grabbed a blanket from their bunk and approached him, draping it across his shoulders.
Ransom's dark gaze followed him, his arms crossed. "Did it go all right with Genesa?" he asked, tentatively.
Sean shivered as water dripped from his hair, and moved to sit at the table. "Uh...not really. I mean yes? She gave me some tea to drink." He looked away, frowning. "I...I don't want to go back."
Ransom's brow furrowed. "Why not? What happened?"
Sean made a face. "It just...felt too much like before." he said, gesturing vaguely.
Before what? Rune signed, as she approached to sit next to him on the bench seat. Sean scrunched his face up and sighed. "I...I don't want to talk about this." His voice sounded a little shaky. Wes said quietly, "Dude, you never want to talk about it. Maybe it's time you did. It obviously bothers you." Rune nodded.
Sean remained silent, conflicted inside. He knew Wes was right. Rune took his hand and squeezed it. He sighed, feeling disgusted with himself.
"Getting all this stuff put on me," he began, gesturing to his prosthetics, "felt like being a lab experiment. No one asked me what I really wanted. They didn't really try to make it more comfortable for me or make sure I understood what procedures were going to be done. They just took. And they gave. And I was nothing more than a number, a test subject. A body." He stared at the wall, his gaze unfocused, damp hair stuck to the side of his forehead.
When he didn't go on, Ransom tried to clarify, sounding a little uncertain. "And something about today...felt like before?"
Sean nodded absently. Rune noticed his faraway look and started rubbing her thumb in circles on the back of his hand. When he didn't seem to respond, she reached up with her other hand and touched his face lightly, but he flinched away with a startled expression. "That's what she was doing," he said, a little breathless. Rune frowned. Touching your face? she signed.
"And my hand, my arm, poking at me...like at the medical facility..." his voice trailed off.
If you don't want touch, then I won't allow it, Rune signed firmly with one hand. He looked at her steadily. "You can't stop it. People touch anyway, whether I want it or not." Rune let go of his hand. You don't want anyone to touch you? she asked, a trace of sadness in her eyes. Sean quickly averted his gaze, his face hot. "Sometimes," his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. "Some people...I don't mind," he said haltingly, looking back at her. He took her hand again, and she smiled. "I know you guys and it doesn't bother me like with the others," he said a little more clearly.
Wes grinned at the two of them and kept eating, a twinkle in his eye.
Ransom shifted from one foot to the other, and then said, "Genesa can be a bit forward sometimes. I can see how that might not be very comfortable for you. Maybe I could ask her to tone it down next time." Sean swallowed. "Next time?" Ransom nodded. "I feel strongly that this might be helpful for you. I hope you might be willing to try again?"
Sean wavered in indecision. Rune signed with her free hand, l'll go with you.
You will? he signed back. She nodded. "Okay," he said aloud, sounding a little more sure of himself. She smiled.
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Midnights Album Aesthetics How I imagine the vibe of the album and associations:
Velvet Blue and Chroma Pinkish Violet: perfect representation of the midnight hour, as it's witching and alluring, there to unite our psychic awareness with the mundane reality, a portal into the Twilight Zone, without the restriction of expectation, without fear of being noticed, just us and the void of thought, echoing to and fro each other.
Blue Vervain: Vervain was a favoured herb of the druids and used in magic rituals. It was thought to protect the bearer against witches' spells and to ward off the Evil Eye. Placing vervain on a small cut on the hand was believed to bestow the ability to open locked and bolted doors once the hand had fully healed. Rubbing little undiluted vervain juice on your body helps to attract love, and can transform enemies into friends. If you place a bunch of it in the bedroom, vervain can help you to overcome insomnia.
Sodalite: The crystal's energy is Intuitive, it will help you connect with your highest self, sodalite is thought to ease emotional distress and anxiety, it helps to clear the mind and express the self to find the truth of own's own.
A Court of Mist and Fury: the city Velaris mentioned in the book and the whole embedded with jewels dressed worn by the faes is so mystical and reminder of the midnight hue.
Sources:
@taylorswift
@taylornation
Top Skirt
Boots
Ring
Bag
Nail Polish
Vervain
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