#but also how do you reconcile you both did something you super regret to hurt someone you both care about a lot? and like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diavolosthots · 3 years

Note

Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.

I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊

For request

First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.

If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!

I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.

Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!

(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)

Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut

Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish

THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)

Lucifer:

Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all.

“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?”

Mammon:

Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness.

“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying.

Leviathan:

His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now.

“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”

Satan:

For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes

“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…”

Asmodeus:

How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin.

“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?”

Beelzebub:

Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought…

“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”

Belphegor:

Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first…

“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.”

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #cheys headcanons #asmodeus obey me #belphegor obey me #mammon obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #tw angst

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celosiaa · 4 years

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hi i just found your blog and I love it?? so much??? you're a super talented writer!! if you want prompts: i'm a sucker for Tim and Jon being friends (or ex-friends) in hurt/comfort scenarios (but if you prefer Martin that's fine too!!) so how would you feel about Tim asking Jon for a favor despite that he knows he hadn't been feeling well the previous night, and Jon agreeing because he's JON and making Tim regret even asking lol. if you don't like this, I can try again!!

I!! Loved!! This!! Prompt!!!! Literally so honored to receive a prompt from you! Hopefully this will do it justice. :)

This is set at the very beginning of season 2, before Jon gets super paranoid. Tim’s thoughts are formatted in italics.

“Closing tiiiime, one last call for alcohol, so finish up your whisky or beeeer!!”

Martin rolls his eyes at Tim where he’s draped himself across his desk, singing both passionately and tunelessly into an air microphone.

“Closing tiiiiime, you don’t have to go home but—”

“Tim, it’s only just quarter past noon! I hate to tell you, but we’re a long way from closing time, mate,” Martin giggles, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

“Yeah, well, that just means it’s lunch time! And it’s your big day! So—where are we going?”

Martin’s grin falters ever so slightly.

“Er, well…actually, I don’t know if—”

“No no no, you do not get to back out of this one. You’ve got to celebrate! It’s not every day a man gets cleared for top surgery!” Tim replies fervently, sitting up properly on Martin’s desk.

Martin sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face.

“I know, and I really appreciate it Tim, it’s just…Jon asked me to look over some stuff, and I’m already behind because of my appointment this morning, and…you know how he can get.”

“…yeah. Unfortunately.”

Tim glances over at Jon’s office door, which is fully shut with the blinds closed. Truth be told, he’s been worried about Jon since he came back from leave. The man had always been a little reclusive, a little awkward, but…this was something else entirely. Nowadays, his door remains perpetually shut, intentionally closed off from the rest of the archival staff—and Tim doesn’t like it one bit.

He’s broken out of his reverie by Martin’s stomach growling.

“Ooh, sorry—”

Tim claps his hands together with a grin.

“Ha! That settles it, then. I’ll give him a distraction and he won’t even notice you’re behind,” Tim replies jovially.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. It’s a good one, I’ve been saving it for a time of need. Leave it to me.”

He gives Martin a wink as he stands, knowing that it will make him blush—and he’s delighted to be proven right, pink rising at once beneath his dusting of freckles.

Nothing if not predictable, Tim thinks with a fond grin. As he passes by his desk, he grabs the file he’s been saving for the past few weeks and raps on Jon’s door.

No reply.

Tim’s brow furrows at this, concern beginning to rise. He calls out and raps on the door again.

“Jon? You okay?”

Still nothing. He can’t hold down the anxiety rising in him now.

Something’s wrong. Fuck.

“I’m coming in.”

He swings open the door, heart pounding, praying to whatever gods there may be that he’s not about to find Jon on the floor, covered in worms again.

The room is entirely Jon-less.

Sweet Jesus.

Tim takes a moment to breathe, allowing the panic to settle back in as he leans over, bracing his arms on his knees. Squeezing his eyes shut, he fights back against the onslaught of memories—worms, blood, infection, pain, pain, pain—that flood incessantly through his mind.

He’s not here.

He’s not here, and he’s fine.

You’re fine.

Taking one last grounding breath, he stands to his full height, rubbing at his shoulder where the worms had dug into it as he exits the room.

Alright, you bastard, where’d you run off to?

He checks the break room next—not because he thinks Jon would be there, but because Sasha may know something he doesn’t. As usual. To his utter surprise, however, there stands Jon—leaning heavily against the countertop, fixing himself a cup of what looks to be more honey than tea.

Tim can’t help but laugh, causing Jon to jump at the unexpected noise.

“Ha! Caught in the act! Finally decided to take matters into your own hands, did you? Martin will be so upset!” he booms, leaning casually against the door frame.

Jon’s only reply is to glare daggers at him over his shoulder, before turning back to his “tea” with a sniff. Tim’s smile falls in confusion.

Odd.

Sweeping his gaze over Jon, he notices with rising alarm the way he’s braced against the countertop, his left leg shaking even as he leans onto his uninjured one. Even more concerning is the presence of his cane, also resting against the counter within his arm’s reach—as Tim knows he doesn’t typically use it to walk short distances within the office.

Ooh, this is…not good.

He softens both his voice and posture carefully as he approaches.

“Jon? You alright?”

Whipping his head back around, glare still in place, Jon sneers at him.

“I’m fine, Tim. Leave off.”

Tim’s eyes go wide, and he steps back slightly, hands raised in consolation.

“Woah, boss. Jesus.”

He remains frozen for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. As he watches, pondering, Jon’s hand shakes so badly that tea sloshes over the rim of his mug, and Tim’s had enough.

“Jon, really. You’re shaking. Are you in pain?” he says lowly, crossing his fingers that this gentle tone won’t earn him a chewing-out.

Jon sighs and looks up, a gesture Tim recognizes as a plea for patience from whoever is listening.

“I said I’m fine, Tim. Just leave it, please,” he says, his words carefully measured.

As Tim inhales to reply, Martin steps through the doorway, freezing for a moment when he sees Jon’s attempt at making tea.

“Oh! Jon! I was just about to make some. Sorry I didn’t get it to you this morning, I had to—”

“I don’t need excuses, Martin. And I can make my own tea. Just get back to work,” he snaps viciously, never turning around to look at him.

The way Martin’s face falls at this sparks an anger in Tim that he hasn’t felt in a long while.

“Oh. Um. Right, sorry. I’ll just—I’ll just go then. Sorry,” he stammers as he hurries out of the room face beet red.

Oh, that’s it.

I’m going to kill him.

Jon at least has the graciousness to blush, regret pooling ever so slightly behind his eyes.

Tim throws his arms wide, glaring at him.

“You’re really going to snap at Martin, right in front of me, and not expect me to get angry?”

Sighing yet again, Jon does not reply, refuses to look at him. Tim’s ire only grows, and his tone steadily ticks upward until it’s very nearly a shout.

“You know, if you paid attention to anything he’s told you, you’d know that he’s been trying to get an appointment with that top surgeon for nearly a year. He’s been counting down the days on the office calendar for months, and he finally had it today, and you can’t even be bothered to remember? To cut him any slack? Are you joking?”

Jon meets his eyes at last, his glare sharp and cold.

“I do pay attention. More than you know,” he hisses.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Jon looks away once again, staring into his tea.

“Just…just tell me what you wanted, Tim,” he says, his voice nearly a whisper.

God, I could punch him right now.

He throws the file he’s holding on the counter instead.

“You know what? Fine. I was just starting to feel sorry for you, and I was actually going to fix this problem for you. But since you insist on being a complete arse, fine.”

He points forcefully toward the file folder.

“There’s an inconsistency with the date on this statement and the follow-up. I tried everything I could to reconcile it, but we just need more data. I need to know if there are any other statements about this house or the surrounding area so I can cross-reference them.”

“R-right, I’ll take care of that,” he says, voice still low, and takes the file.

Tim’s anger very nearly abates when he reaches for his cane, then limps slowly and painfully to sit at the breakroom table. But he cannot shove it down, no matter how much he wants to.

No, you know what? He can deal with whatever this is himself.

He ought to feel ashamed.

He can’t keep speaking to us this way.

Steeling himself, Tim locks his gaze on Jon once again.

“Look, I’m taking Martin to lunch today, and I don’t care if he’s behind on his work. I don’t care what you think of it, either. He deserves to celebrate, and you can just sit here and wallow.”

He turns immediately on his heel and strides out the door to collect Martin.

---

(7am, the next morning)

The brewing cold of autumn seeps into Tim’s bones as he walks from the gym, freshly showered and aiming to drop his things off at the Institute before grabbing coffee with Sasha. It’s the first time he’s worked out on his own since he was discharged from physical therapy, and he cannot deny his frustration about the performance of his weakened muscles—muscles that had once been so strong. Still, it had felt good to be back, and Tim had certainly not gone easy on himself.

Perhaps I should have, he thinks, feeling the shoulder beneath the strap of his gym bag beginning to seize up.

Dumping his bag on his desk, Tim flops down unceremoniously into his chair. He can’t help but wince as he rubs at his sore shoulder, finding with dismay that he can no longer turn his head to the left without sending shooting pains to the base of his skull and across the top of his shoulder.

Damn it. Overdid it again.

He spends a few minutes this way, breathing through the pain as he works his fingers over the knots, over the countless scars—testing his neck’s range of motion every so often. It helps in part, but he ultimately finds himself still unable to turn his head by the time he’s finished. He groans in frustration.

As he does so, a sharp sound echoes from deeper within the archives, and Tim is immediately set on high alert.

Fuck fuck fuck

He stays stock still, eyes blown wide, listening for any indication that something unwelcome has joined him here today, when—

A series of harsh, painful-sounding coughs floats from the direction of Jon’s office, where a light has been left on.

Vicious anger flares up in Tim instantly.

Oh you have got to be kidding me.

Standing up in a rush, he marches over to Jon’s office door, which stands partially open. There sits Jon, hunched over his desk, staring intently at the pages scattered across it without really seeing them. The deep black under his eyes tells Tim that, without a doubt, he has been here all night.

And he is furious.

“What the hell are you doing, Jon?”

Jon’s head snaps upwards, expression momentarily widened in shock, before it melts quickly back into his usual scowl.

“I’m only doing what you asked me to do, Tim,” he rasps, voice sounding decidedly small.

“I did not ask you to stay here all night,” Tim fumes, his hand slamming down angrily on the corner of Jon’s desk.

He jumps again, and guilt twinges in Tim’s chest—a twinge which deepens the longer he regards Jon’s complete bewilderment.

“It’s…morning?”

Silence hangs in the air for a moment as they stare at each other.

Something’s wrong.

Tim tries to swallow down his concern, remembering that he’s supposed to be angry.

“Look. If I tell you to go home, are you going to listen to me?”

Jon drops his gaze at once, picking at the scars on his hands.

“Right. That’s what I thought.”

Tim shakes his head briefly, looking away for a moment in frustration, when his eyes land on a small, wrapped present set on a shelf—on top of which stands a handmade card. Squinting at it, Tim can just make out the front: “Congratulations” is scrawled across the bottom in forcibly-neatened cursive, above which sits a messy drawing of a Highland cow, shaggy hair hanging down over its eyes.

Tim quirks a smile at this, his anger dissipating immediately.

“That for Martin?” he asks, jerking a thumb toward it.

Jon looks up, eyes bleary.

“What? Oh—yes, yes it is.”

“What is it?”

“Er—just some tea from my family in Jordan. It’s…quite good, actually. I thought he might like it.”

Tim is grinning smugly now, doing his best impression of a Cheshire cat while leaning over Jon’s desk.

“What an interestingly personal gift, Mister Sims. In fact, one might even mistake it for flirting—that is, if you’re capable of such a thing.”

Predictably, Jon’s face flushes beet red at this, and Tim’s entire body tips back in laughter.

“I—you—it’s not flirting, Tim. But I will have you know that I am capable of doing so, when I wish.”

Tim laughs again, so utterly pleased with himself at how flustered Jon has become.

“Right. Of course, silly me.”

After a moment’s silence, Jon sighs and rubs a hand into his temple, and Tim knows that the fun is over for now.

“So? Do you want to come grab a coffee with me and Sasha? Might do you good to get out of this place for a moment. Maybe get some caffeine and try to look a little bit less like death warmed over.”

Jon shoots him a sharp glare, which Tim thoroughly enjoys, before turning his eyes to his cane where it rests against the desk. Considering it for a moment, he worries at his bottom lip before reaching out to grab it.

“Fine. If you—”

“If I insist, right. And I do.”

“Alright.”

Jon braces his left hand against his desk, the right gripped tightly around his cane, and lifts himself to half-standing.

Panic laces up every nerve in Tim’s body when he gasps, shifting all his weight to his good leg and swaying alarmingly. He grabs onto him immediately, steadying him by the upper arms with some difficulty.

“Woah, Jon, woah woah—”

Jon blinks rapidly, face growing ashen.

“Sorry, I…” he trails off at once, eyes closing.

“Sit back down, here—sit down, Jon. God.”

Tim guides him back to his chair as the cane clatters to the floor, forgotten. His eyes remain closed as he sits, prompting Tim to shake him gently by the shoulder.

“Jon? You with me?”

After a few moments, he opens his eyes obediently, moving to nod before thinking better of it.

“Sorry, just—head rush.”

Tim rolls his eyes and stands to his full height, placing his hands on his hips.

“Bullshit. What’s wrong with you?”

Jon holds out his hands, palms facing up.

“Nothing! Just…change in the weather. Affects my…affects my leg, that’s all.”

As he says this, something that looks suspiciously like a fever chill runs the length of his body. Tim snorts in derision.

“Right. Sure. And there’s nothing at all to the fact that you’re literally shaking right now?”

Jon’s eyebrows furrow in annoyance at this.

“I’m not—”

He breaks off as he looks down—finding that he is, in fact, shaking.

Unbelievable.

“Right. I’m going to ask you again, and you’d better not lie to me. What’s wrong with you?”

At this, Jon sighs, looking away with an expression that shows he’s at least considering honesty.

Suppose that’s all I can ask for.

His considerations are cut short by coughing, which he muffles quickly with both his elbow and his closed mouth. Tim can’t help but wince at the sound—so dry and wheezing and painful that he can almost feel it in his own throat. As the fit comes to an end, Jon lowers his elbow and heaves out a wet sigh.

“Just…not feeling well, that’s all. It’s nothing.”

Tim is momentarily shocked by the candor of that statement, and feels his chest swell with responsibility.

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Though he knows Jon will be distinctly annoyed by it, Tim places a hand on his forehead—quickly realizing what a useless thermometer his hand makes. Jon scowls up at him especially unpleasantly.

“What, it works in the movies!” he says defensively, dropping his hand.

Jon’s scowl only deepens, but he remains silent.

“Fine. I’ll just go get the thermometer, then.”

Tim walks quickly toward the break room to grab the first aid kit, which he knows Martin has recently restocked with just about everything his money could buy. Tim had made fun of him for it at the time—both for the absurd nature of his worry, as well as the extremely limited number of potential office uses for things such as a satellite phone—but now, he felt nothing but gratitude for his foresight.

Should really listen to Martin more.

Maybe then I wouldn’t have ended up with worms in my shoulder, and I’d still be able to turn my head properly.

He grabs the thermometer and walks briskly back down the hallway, hearing Jon’s coughing resume—the painfully hollow barking no longer contained by his shirt sleeve.

Jesus, he sounds awful.

When he arrives back at Jon’s office, he finds him braced over his knees, trying to catch his breath in the wake of his fit. Every inhale is drawn heavily, his lungs seemingly starved for oxygen.

Tim’s worry grows with every passing second.

“Alright, Jon, put this under your tongue,” he orders, holding the thermometer in front of him.

He takes it resentfully—but puts it under his tongue nonetheless. They wait for a few moments in silence, Jon struggling to breathe through a blocked nose until the thermometer beeps, and Tim takes it out to read it.

“38.3. Not too bad, but most definitely there.”

Jon does not reply, instead dropping his head as he resumes pulling in labored breaths in through his mouth.

Christ.

Tim sighs, replacing his hands on his hips.

“Alright, Jon. What else is there? Besides all of—” he gestures vaguely at him— “this, and the hacking up a lung?”

It appears that Jon had not heard him, his breaths still coming in heavy and wheezing.

“Hey.”

Tim snaps his fingers in front of Jon’s face and kneels in front of him, trying to draw his gaze.

“Hey—look at me, Jon. What else is there?”

His eyes turn vague and glassy as his breath hitches, catching a few times before he turns, grabbing wildly at the box of tissues set on his desk. He manages to press one against his nose just in time, facing away from Tim as he sneezes thrice—harsh and wet—before it morphs steadily back into awful barking hacks.

Jesus, Jon.

Tim shifts his weight back to sit cross-legged on the floor, waiting out the fit with his head resting against his fist. Nearly half a minute goes by before Jon turns back to him, still visibly shaking.

“Leg hurts,” he whispers weakly.

Tim lets out a soft laugh.

“That much I gathered. Head too?” he asks as Jon begins to rub at his temple again.

Jon only sniffs and nods in response, closing his eyes.

At this, Tim stands, folding his arms sternly across his chest.

“You should really go to a clinic, Jon. You look absolutely dreadful.”

“I’b fide, Tib,” Jon mutters, and Tim can’t help but outright laugh.

“Ha! Sure. You’re right, case closed, totally not struggling to breathe or anything.”

Jon glares at him once again before reaching for another tissue, blowing into it with some difficulty and little relief.

Something about his misery pulls at Tim’s chest, and he takes pity.

“Really, boss, that looks like the flu to me. And if you won’t do it for yourself, then take one for the team and go home. You don’t want to get us ill, I can promise you that. Then you’ll find us even more insufferable than usual, me especially. And yes, that is a threat.”

The corners of Jon’s mouth quirk up faintly at this, and Tim feels like he’s won the lottery at last.

“Fide. I’ll go.”

“Excellent.”

Tim picks up Jon’s cane from where it’s fallen to the floor, handing it to him and bracing the opposite elbow as he stands.

“Come on, now. There we are. Have to get you out of here before Martin arrives and starts fussing.”

Jon huffs out a laugh, a genuine smile spreading across his face.

“Tim?”

“What?”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing right now?”

Tim sputters in mock indignation, jaw dropping as he turns to face Jon.

“How dare you even suggest that? I’d never do such a thing.”

Jon’s shoulders shake with muffled laughter as they walk, and Tim feels like the luckiest person in the world to be able to witness it.

#tma #tma fic #tma sickfic #hurt/comfort #jonathan sims #tim stoker #martin blackwood #my writing

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prrplwtch · 4 years

Note

Hello! I really loved your angsty breakup hcs with the brothers, but they also made me sad and in need of fluff. If it’s not too much of a bother, can we get some fluffy hcs of MC coming back to the boys and getting back together? Not out of like desperation but because MC truly loves them, ya know? Thank you love!

Gladly - I do love a happy ending 💜I have to apologize though, as much as I tried, there is still some angst in this fluff.

(also this post is a loose continuation of the break up post -

https://purrplewitches.tumblr.com/post/190833802315/angst-hc-request-how-would-the-brothers-react with one difference being that MC hasn’t left devildom)

Lucifer:

Lucifer is definitely not the man to forgive easily, but after MC learns truth about Lilith and, thus the reason behind his loyalty to Diablo, they want to apologize and Lucifer is willing to hear them out.

The conversation is a tough one, since Lucifer was greatly hurt by the lack of trust. However, he is still deeply in love with MC and also understands in the back of his mind that, perhaps, all this could have been avoided if he had trusted them more, Lucifer and MC reconcile.

They don’t get back together right away - it takes some time.

Lucifer and MC both understand that he secrets can tear them apart yet again, so they spend a lot of time together talking about things - important and not so important, just so there is no secrets between them.

One evening they are sitting in Lucifer’s room and talking, and MC suddenly finds themselves quite tired, since it’s late at night - and doesn’t even realize that they fall asleep. The next morning they wake up in Lucifer’s bed, clearly tucked in by him. Lucifer is not there, but MC cannot help but smile.

Somehow it seems that they are falling in love all anew. MC and Lucifer both find their hearts fluttering with anticipation of upcoming meetings and a mere brush of hand against hand causes all sorts of happy feelings.

It still takes a while before they kiss for the first time after the break up.

One day they were returning from the academy together, and, when they were parting, MC kissed him out of habit. For a moment, MC was all shy and embarrassed, but, apparently, this kiss was quite welcome because Lucifer immediately pulled them in for another kiss.

This time, the next levels of physical intimacy happen much slower than the last time, though that does not stop Lucifer and MC from sharing many many cuddles as they spend time together in his room.

When it finally happens it is significantly less passion-driven than last time and more of a making love. They greatly enjoy getting cuddly afterwards.

After they are once again officially in a relationship, Lucifer suddenly finds himself pondering next steps (aka marriage). A part of him wants to tie their fates together so that they cannot part again like they did last time.

He knows that may scare MC though, so he shows a lot of patience.

Mammon:

When MC comes back to apologize for calling him unreliable, Mammon doesn’t want to hear it. Of course he does. But, luckily MC is persistent, and in the end he gives in, letting them apologize and tell him that they were being unfair.

He is still tremendously hurt over break up, but he is so in love with MC and needs their emotional support, that he does not have the heart to tell them to leave him be.

It takes some time before Mammon can relax around MC again, but seeing how they are making an effort to make amends, he tries. After a while, he feels more comfortable in their company.

MC is the one who initiates the conversation about getting back together. Mammon is reluctant at first, seeing as they called him unreliable, but since he loves them so much, he cannot bear not being together. And no the thought that MC will date someone else doesn’t play at all into his thought process.

Though he is supremely excited about being back together with MC probably wants to take things super slow, because there is still a worry in him about getting hurt.

Even still, he actually finds out that he cannot take it slow - when MC is next to him, he wants to hug them, kiss them, feel them.

Likely goes through the second “honeymoon period”, where he blushes profusely when MC touches his hand or turns into a blushing, stuttering mess when they are wearing something revealing.

Cuddle time for days! That was one of the things he missed about the relationship and now being able to hold MC in his hands feels completely magical.

Eventually he moves on from the hurt of the break up and becomes his old self.

The first time that he and MC sleep together after making up, he feels nervous, as if it is their first time, but everything turns out well and that makes him so, so happy.

Never wants to leave MC’s side after they completely reconcile. Promises to try and be more considerate and reliable, but his heart soars when he hears that MC loves him exactly like he is.

Leviathan

When MC wants to apologize for their harsh words, Levi acts like he does not care. “Of course a normie like you would not understand”. However, he cares very much, and it is very important to him that MC apologized.

Takes his time before he allows her to hang out with him again - he still remembers the negative things she said about his anime and video games, so he is worried that they will be bored around him.

However, eventually, he needs a second player for one of his games and the only person who is available is MC, so he invites them to play with him. As they play together, he remembers how nice and easy it was to spend time together, and he finds himself missing the happier times of their relationships more.

The more they hang out, the more he wants to get back together - he knows he’d never felt that way about anyone and is sure that he’ll never feel this way about anyone ever again.

He wouldn’t dream of asking MC to be his s/o though, since the break up is still fresh in his memory - he still thinks that he does not deserve them - so MC will have to be the one to bring up the subject.

When MC brings up the subject, Levi, at first, gets all insecure, just like the last time, thinking that they were joking. When he finds out that they were not, he gets serious and tells MC that he would only get back with them if MC promised to accept him and his anime, manga, video games etc.

Once he secures the promise, he agrees to a relationship.

Just like the first time around, Levi is super awkward when it comes to showing any kind of physical affection, and he blushes even when something as minor as MC’s hand brushing his happens, but still he is happy.

He is a little guarded at first, but he has never felt as at ease with anyone as he did with MC, so he let’s his “defenses” down.

Their first kiss after getting back together is just like their first kiss before they started dating the previous time - almost accidental, brief, a little awkward, but painfully sweet.

It takes a while for Levi to work up the courage to sleep with MC, but eventually he does. He greatly enjoys the cuddles that they share afterwards - he really missed those.

Like Lucifer, Levi is considering proposing marriage to MC (also secretly, since he thinks it might scare them off) and even had began researching the perfect wedding - mostly through watching romance anime and reading romance manga,

Satan

At first, Satan does not want to talk about it - MC rejected his love and left him, what else is there to talk about. Only a certain part of him keeps telling him, that, perhaps, she had a reason, and eventually he gives in and has a conversation with them.

So then, after MC apologizes, Satan feels confused - normally, he does not really accept apologies, but this case is different. Somehow hearing them apologize makes him feel worse - mostly because he knows that his anger issues are, in fact, pretty bad.

So then he tells MC that there is no need to apologize. MC still insists, and, despite himself, Satan starts feeling better.

Healing is a slow process for him and he is reluctant to spend time around MC - both because they hurt him and also because he is nervous about accidentally losing control of his temper. MC gives him space, however, but is always open if he wants to spend time with her and that calms him down a little bit.

The whole process of getting Satan to trust MC again is kind of like trying to make friends with a stray cat to try and adopt it - MC and Satan can be often found reading in the living room of the house of lamentation. They are not quite sitting together, but they are still pretty close to each other.

Satan realizes just how much he misses MC when they start discussing books again. It’s always exciting and the conversations usually last into wee hours of the morning.

It takes a while, but Satan realizes that he wants to get back together - the only problem is that he is too proud to admit it.

But then one evening, they are sitting next to each other on the couch and reading, and MC says that they want to go to sleep, and out of habit Satan finds himself kissing them goodnight. It scares him - both how goos and how natural it feels.

He is unsure on how to proceed, but MC gets ahead of him the very next day by asking if he would like to get back together.

They have a serious conversation, during which Satan admits that he will likely always have quite a bit of a temper, and MC tells him that they love him anyways - and that they deeply regret ever leaving him.

They take it slow when it comes to the relationship, but Satan would be lying if he said that he did not utterly and completely miss cuddling with MC on the couch as both of them are reading.

So yes, once they get back together, they spend quite a bit of time cuddling while reading. They are a little bit slower with other forms of physical affection - it takes about a week before they share another kiss and slightly over a month before they become intimate with each other again.

As he holds MC in his arms, Satan does not understand how he let them go so easily - how he did not fight for the relationship, when the thought of being without them is utterly and completely terrifying.

Asmodeus

Asmo doesn’t really want to talk about the break up - he was quite hurt by the implication that being an avatar of lust will make him cheat on MC - and he tries to play it off as if it’s nothing serious.

“There’s no need for a “serious conversation” darling. If you miss this perfect body you just need to say so - and I’ll be there in a heartbeat,” he smiles and winks at MC, even though his heart hurts.

Still, when MC insists, he agrees to hear them out. The memory of the break up conversation hurts, but when MC apologizes, somehow it feels slightly better.

Asmo feels bad about getting back together though - he’d love to, but he went on such a binge when it came to one-night stands, that he was not sure if MC would want him anymore. So to see if MC was actually meant it when they apologized, he decides to come clean and talk about his escapades.

He can tell MC is not quite enjoying the story, but in the end they tell him that they understand and accept that. Asmo’s heart leaps, though he tries not to show it - there are two things he craves the most emotionally - that is, being loved and being accepted.

Asmodeus would love to take it slow, BUT HE JUST CANNOT. So he asks MC pretty much immediately if they’d like to get back together.

Is very elated when MC accepts - and cuddles ensue. He does not want to let go of MC at all until at least the end of the day.

A part of him is still slightly sad about the break up, so he finds it hard to completely let his guard down.

Luckily, MC is much better at taking him slow, and the fact that they simply spend time with him and listen to him talk about whatever it is he likes to talk, his heart feels full.

Their first kiss as a new couple feels super special. Asmo cannot remember the last time he cared this much about being kissed, but his heart is fluttering in his chest.

Absolutely refuses to sleep if MC and him are not in the same bed. Though they do not become intimate right away, he still enjoys the soft cuddles while they sleep.

Asmo is probably ready to “take it to the next level” once again much sooner than his other brothers. When they do, he is so overwhelmed with happiness that he never wants to let MC go again and even begins to wondering how he’d ever slept with someone else after feeling what it was like to sleep with MC.

Wants to show MC that he is committed and will stay loyal - decides to find out more about the ways human communicate that intent. Gets advice from Solomon, that getting married to MC will likely show them exactly that. Poor Asmo does not pick up on the fact that Solomon seems highly...amused when he gives his answer.

Goes ahead and proposes to MC, who, though very much in love with him, explains that marriage is not necessary for commitment for humans.

Finds himself confused and happy as MC kisses him and then pulls him to the bed after the failed proposal.

Beelzebub

This boy cannot hold a grudge to save his life, so when MC tells him that they want to talk about the break up and apologize, he can hardly hide just how happy he is.

He wants to get back together, he really does, but a part of him is worried that they won’t want to.

So it takes him a few days to work up the courage, but them he asks them, and when they gladly accept his heart feels so full.

He is still a little bit worried though, since the reason for the break up was his eating and he certainly had not started eating any less.

But his fears are quickly calmed when MC tells him that they don’t actually mind and did not mean when she said. To demonstrate him that, they try to make his favorite food for him, which Bell greatly appreciates.

He is so happy to be back together with them - he missed them so so much.

Cuddles galore, all day every day. Beel just wants to snuggle to MC, happy to be together with them once again.

Unlike some of his brothers, he has less reservations about physical intimacy with MC.

Still, before they kiss for the “first” time, Beel finds himself worrying, but the worry melts away when he can feel MC in his embrace, their lips warm and soft against his.

He wants all the kisses. He almost forgot how much he liked being kissed by MC, but now that he had this other kiss, he knows he needs it.

Is very gentle with MC when they are intimate for the first time after getting back together. When MC tells him that they are not, in fact, made of glass, Beel finds himself laughing happily because he remembers that that was exactly what MC told him the first time they slept together.

After they get back together, Beel tries to spend as much time with MC as possible every day.

Makes an effort to get involved into MC’s hobbies - like he knows that they cook for him because they know just how much he loves to eat, so he tries to do something for them that they like.

Laughs happily when Belphie complains that he did not sign up for two roommates, but doesn’t change a thing - he wants to be with MC all the time. When MC suggests that they should maybe be spending time in MC’s room, Beel insists that he wants to spend time with both MC and Belphie.

Beel wakes up early in the morning and enjoys lying in bed watching MC sleep next to him - he does it even after they’ve been together for a while. It makes his heart so full to see MC next to him, so happy and comfortable

Belphegor

At first he doesn’t want to hear it - any of it, he is still angry at MC for breaking up with him. However, the MC is insistent, and at a certain point Belphie just becomes too lazy to resist. It is much easier to just let them speak and be done with it when, suddenly, MC decides to apologize to him.

That he did not expect, not at all, so Belphie is taken aback. He cannot say that he is unhappy about receiving the apology, but he is somewhat apprehensive - after all, what MC said had hurt him, they cannot just take it back.

Nonetheless, he really likes MC, so he accepts the apology. He does not quite trust them, not yet, but that does not mean that he doesn’t want to be around them.

They spend some time together in the attic, and Belphie finds himself falling for MC again - it is so easy to spend time with them, it feels so natural. He does not want to admit to it though.

One day he learns from Beel that MC wants to ask him about maybe getting back together.

When MC asks him, he anticipates it and does not give the answer right away - a part of him wants to see MC squirm.

Nonetheless in the end he agrees - he does want to be with them, after all.

Once they are back together, Belphie finds himself rather happy - after all, he missed the morning, afternoon, evening and night cuddles that he received from MC.

Belphie does his best to make up for all the time that they were apart by cuddling MC all the time.

The first few days after they get back togehter they barely leave the attic - to busy snuggling and napping. His brothers even make jokes about it, but Belphie just scoffs - him and MC have not actually been intimate since they had gotten back together yet, they simply have been enjoying some good, old-fashioned cuddles.

Belphie feels his heart flutter when MC wakes him up one morning by showering his face with little kisses - just the way they used to wake him up before the break up happened.

Belphie makes an effort to put more effort into a relationship. Though he likes nothing better than naps and cuddles, he knows that sometimes MC likes going places, so he makes sure to accompany them, even if he is feeling like napping, because he finds himself realizing that MC’s happiness is more important to him than all the naps in the world.

#obey me #shall we date obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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omg-imagine · 4 years

Text

⊱ Forget Me Not (4/15) ⊰

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: Angst, migraines

A/N: Sorry if there are any mistakes. I’m currently running on three hours of sleep today lol. Hope you enjoy!

Part 3

Home was supposed to be a place where one felt the most at peace. It was supposed to be filled with warmth and love, laughter and joy. Home was a place where you could be yourselves without judgment and where memories could be made to look back upon in the future, perhaps with a tear or a smile.

Keanu could look at any room inside the house, and recall almost everything that has happened in there. The talks and the fights. The kisses and the sex. The pranks and the tender moments. Like a movie, a memory would play in his head, reminding him of what home meant, what home truly was.

And to Keanu, home was you.

But ever since the night of your accident, home didn’t feel like home anymore. It was different, both in a physical and emotional sense. The house became a reflection of Keanu’s crumbling state of mind during those three agonizingly long weeks. It had become disarrayed the moment you had walked out of the front door, lacking the sense of comfort it usually had. Barren and cold, the house was also filled with the most unbearable silence, nearly deafening.

Keanu hated being there when all it did was remind him of you at happier times. He felt suffocated by the four walls surrounding him. Walls, which, aside from him, currently held secrets of the past. It knew every hurtful word and action that you had now forgotten. Keanu wasn’t sure whether or not he should be relieved that the walls couldn’t talk. Because if they did, he wouldn’t be ready for you to come home.

It would only tell you the truth. A painful truth that Keanu still had not shared.

For the last two days, Keanu did his best to tidy up around the house, getting it ready and clean in time for your return. He was running a bit late due to folding the laundry, but he wanted to make sure that the place was immaculate.

The floors had been vacuumed meticulously, leaving the hardwood gleaming under the recessed lights. The dishes were all washed and stored away. Every surface was dusted, every pillow was fluffed. Keanu had even ordered a fresh bouquet of your favorite flowers as a surprise and had them displayed in a vase on the coffee table.

Looking around one last time, Keanu realized how more alive the house seemed to be, and he couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight of it.

Before leaving to pick you up from the hospital, Keanu quickly checked himself in front of the mirror, also wanting to look presentable for your homecoming. He had trimmed both his beard and his hair yesterday, the dark circles under his eyes were also beginning to brighten up. He was looking more like his usual self now than in the past weeks. It was as if seeing you awake and wanting to stay in Los Angeles with him brought life back to Keanu again.

As Keanu drove to the hospital, scenes from that late stormy evening invaded him. He could never forget the hurt in your eyes, the quivering of your lip as you stared at him in utter shock and disappointment. At times, he could still hear the sound of the front door slamming shut when you left the house, leaving him behind. Then, there was the immense fear and lack of certainty flooding his mind as he rushed to the emergency room after receiving the call.

He had never been so scared and so angry before, and if there was one memory Keanu wanted to forget, it would surely be of this.

Since you woke up, you had never really asked about the events of that night. You only knew bits and pieces from your parents, but not the entire story. There would come a time that you would be so inclined to learn the details of it, and Keanu dreaded for that day to come. He had almost lost you, and if you found out exactly what had happened, he might lose you forever.

And that was the reason why Keanu couldn’t tell you the truth just yet. He was afraid to lose you, despite believing that he didn’t deserve a second chance. Truth be told, he didn’t come back to the hospital after you woke up because he was at war with his own conscience. A part of him wanted to tell you everything and deal with the consequences. But there’s the other part of him that couldn’t handle the thought of letting you go. He wanted to make things right again, undo the damage that he had caused even though the guilt still crept up on him.

One day he would tell you, Keanu promised, but just not today nor the next. For now, he’s focused on bringing back all of the best memories, the ones he knew you both cherished the most.

Parking his car near the entrance, Keanu cursed under his breath when he saw five men lingering by the door with cameras in their hands, acting nonchalantly. He didn’t care that the paparazzi would take pictures of him dashing inside. However, he was more worried about you when it came time to walk out of the hospital. You hadn’t been exposed to this ugly side of fame, and something like this would feel overwhelming.

Putting on his shades, as soon as Keanu got out of his vehicle, he heard the familiar camera shutters around him. He hung his head low as he headed towards the front of the building at a brisk pace, ignoring the overlapping questions that were being shouted at him.

How’s Y/N doing, Keanu?

Keanu, are you still doing that thriller movie later this summer?

Can you update us on Y/N’s condition?

How do you feel about this situation, Keanu? This must be hard on you.

Why was Y/N out driving during that storm?

We thought you and Y/N broke up months ago. Did you two reconcile?

It was only until when Keanu reached the elevator and stepped inside did he finally experience some quietness. Pushing his shades up onto his head, he then pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling a deep sigh simultaneously.

It was moments such as this when he would regret being a public figure. He was extremely grateful for being able to do something that he loved, but there were times when he would ask himself if it was all worth it. Keanu valued his and your privacy, and at a delicate situation like this, that’s what you would need.

The elevator doors opened, and swiftly he walked down the hall to where your room was. He stood by the door for a second, peering into the small window and seeing you laughing with your parents inside. It warmed Keanu’s heart noticing how happy you were because it had been a while since he last saw you that way.

You glanced his way by the door, catching his eyes before gesturing for him to come in.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Keanu began, stepping into the room and shutting the door close behind him. “Are you all set to go?”

“I’m super ready. I haven’t felt the sun on my face in literally weeks,” you announced, hopping off the bed with a grin. “Dad actually suggested if we could have a late lunch together before their flight. Is that okay with you, Keanu?”

“Of course. What are you guys in the mood for?”

“Oh, we could go to that amazing Italian place. I think it’s nearby,” Nancy suggested before turning to her husband. “Pete, what was that restaurant called again?”

“La Cucina,” your father answered. “The food there is the best! You and Keanu treat us there whenever we’re in town. I say, let’s keep up with tradition, shall we?”

“Sounds good,” you replied, reaching down for the set of luggage on the floor.

Keanu held his hand out, signaling for you to stop. “Don’t worry about that. You shouldn’t be lifting heavy things so soon. Here, let me help.”

“Son, it’s fine,” Peter swatted Keanu’s hand away and picked up the bags. “Nance, and I will handle them. They’re our bags after all. We decided to bring them now so that we could get dropped off the airport right after eating.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, can I just borrow your car keys so I could load them in the trunk?” Peter asked before inching closer to the actor, speaking in a voice low enough for only Keanu to hear. “I saw the men outside waiting. I’ll bring the car out in the front so that Y/N doesn’t have to go through them.”

Nodding, Keanu took out the keys from his pocket and handed them over to your father. “I drove the SUV today. It’s parked by the edge in the third row.”

“Great!” Peter said before turning to you. “Okay, sweetheart. Your mother and I will bring the car to the entrance. We’ll pick you two up from there so that you don’t have to be on your feet.”

“Dad, I can walk,” you told him with a slight giggle.

“I know you can, but I need you to take it easy for me, Y/N. You promised that, remember?”

Sighing, you pouted at him until eventually, a smile appeared once again. “Okay. I’ll see you and mom downstairs.”

Before your parents left the room with their bags, Peter shot Keanu a look, indicating to him that he needed to warn you about what might happen outside. Now alone in the room, Keanu approached you, a soft smile on his lips, mirroring your own. The sun streaming through the window illuminated your face, the light hitting your eyes in such a way that made them sparkle. You were simply stunning just standing there, your mere beauty causing all thoughts to elude him.

“You’re staring,” you pointed out, and Keanu felt the warmth of his blush as it crawled up his neck. “Is something wrong?”

“Uh, n-no,” he stuttered. “I, um… I’m just excited that you’re finally coming home.”

You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as your gaze dropped, a common habit of yours whenever you felt nervous. “Me too. I still have several neurologist appointments in the upcoming weeks, but at least I’m out of here.”

“How are the migraines today?”

Smiling softly, you glanced back up at Keanu. “Haven’t had one since yesterday, actually.”

“That’s good,” Keanu whispered, sitting down on the mattress next to him and watched you do the same. “Your dad’s right. You should be taking it easy for the next couple of days to be safe.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m planning on doing. Just take one day at a time.”

Keanu stayed silent for a brief minute before his mouth opened to speak. “Y/N, I have to warn you that there are going to be cameras outside. They’ve been hounding by the entrance after word got out that you were in an accident.”

The smile on your face fell, your brows furrowing. Without hesitation, Keanu reached out to hold your hand, immediately intertwining his fingers with yours. He ran his thumb along the back of your hand in a soothing motion. He knew that it was something you enjoyed him doing whenever you were starting to feel stressed out. It never failed to bring you comfort, and based on your calm expression, it worked yet again.

“Sorry, I’m still not used to it… dating a celebrity, I mean. Who would have thought I’d fallen for Keanu Reeves?”

“It’s a crazy idea to wrap one’s mind around,” he joked, hoping that it would lighten the mood. “It’s nothing to worry about. We’ll only be out there for a quick few seconds.”

“Okay,” you could only say. “You must be tired of the paparazzi.”

“They’re just trying to make a living,” Keanu reasoned. “Still, it’s quite annoying, but you learned to ignore them over time.”

The two of you shared a small laugh together before getting back up on your feet, ready to leave the hospital for good. As Keanu walked down the corridor beside you, he couldn’t help but feel relieved. He would have never imagined being in this position almost four weeks ago. He was fortunate that the worst thing that could possibly happen didn’t occur, but instead he was left to face a serious challenge. So far, none of your memories have returned. Though he was hopeful that a miracle would happen somewhere along the way, he was reminded of the chance that this might turn out to be permanent.

“Everything’s going to be alright, Keanu,” you assured him as you took the elevator down to the ground floor. “The doctor said that it can take a while, and we have to be patient with this.”

“I know,” he said softly. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”

You smiled when you heard Keanu echo your words from before. Once the elevator stopped, Keanu led you to the exit where he could see both his car parked out front and the group of men waiting nearby. He paused in his tracks and turned to you. “Are you ready?”

“I guess,” you whispered tentatively.

Keanu grabbed the pair of sunglasses on his head and placed them over your eyes. “Better?”

You readjusted them a bit on your face before nodding. “Let’s get out there.”

True to his word, you and Keanu were outside for less than five seconds. The cameras clicked and flashed, taking pictures of the two of you quickly walking out of the hospital until you climbed inside the front passenger side. Meanwhile, Keanu took the driver’s seat while Peter joined Nancy at the back. The windows were darkly tinted, shielding you from the prying eyes of the people outside before the car finally pulled away from the curb.

“Are you okay?” Keanu questioned you as he drove further down the street, the sight of the hospital disappearing from the rearview mirror.

“Yes,” you responded, taking off the shades he had given you. “I’m okay.”

Sighing, Keanu knew you all too well. Even though you had said that you were okay, your eyes told an entirely different story.

This was going to be much more complicated than he had initially thought.

---

“How’s the food?” Keanu asked you once you finished chewing.

“Oh my god, this is delicious,” you praised excitedly, twirling another forkful of pasta on your plate. “Best Italian restaurant, hands down.”

Nancy chuckled from across the table. “I told you it beats Mario’s from back home. Eating here is one of my highlights every time we visit California. Only coming in second after seeing you and Keanu, of course.”

“I remember the last time we came here, I had seven of their breadsticks!” Peter added jovially. “I couldn’t even eat half of my chicken marsala because I was too stuffed by then.”

Laughing, Keanu then turned to his side where you were sitting. “You know, Y/N, the first time I had brought you here, you used those exact words; ‘best Italian restaurant.’”

“Well, I have to thank you for introducing me to this place,” you replied, lifting your hand up to gently squeeze his arm. The touch was electrifying, and judging by the look on your face, you had felt it too.

For a moment, you and Keanu locked eyes, and he swore that it felt like the two of you were the only ones in the room. A smile tugged on his lips, and he could sense his cheeks flushing as you stared at him with bright eyes. Seeing a splotch of red sauce on the corner of your mouth, he gingerly wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. His hand lingered by the side of your face, nearly cupping it when Peter’s voice sounded, breaking the entrancement.

“I’m going to the restroom, be right back,” he spoke before excusing himself from the table. “Go order some dessert!”

Keanu heard you giggle as the heat rose to your face. Hearing it made his heart flutter, and suddenly, he felt like a giddy schoolboy around you. What he was feeling at the very second was similar to when you and he went on your first date. It was a sweet reminder of that special night nearly five years ago, and he could only wish that one day, you would remember it too.

“Shit,” you cursed, your eyes clamping shut, and you used the palm of your hand to cover your face. Your body tensed as your breathing grew heavy, an alarming sight to see.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Keanu inquired before glancing at a worried Nancy.

“My head…” you muttered, the pain too intense for you to elaborate.

“Where’s her pain meds?” Nancy wondered, checking her purse to see if she had them.

Keanu grabbed the car keys from his pocket and slid it across the table. “It’s in her bag. She left it under her seat.”

Quickly, Nancy left the restaurant to retrieve your pills as Keanu did all that he could to bring you some comfort. Shrugging off the jacket he wore, he placed it over your head so that the lights inside the restaurant wouldn’t hurt your eyes. He then called a waiter over, asking for a glass of ice.

“What’s happening?” Peter reappeared shortly after, kneeling down next to you, voice laced in concern.

“Migraine. Nancy’s getting her meds from the car.”

Peter nodded, standing up on his feet as the waiter came back with the ice. Keanu urged you to rest the cold glass against your head in hopes of easing the pain. Luckily, the tables around him were empty, and he wasn’t drawing too much attention to you.

“Shh, Y/N,” Keanu murmured softly, draping an around behind your shoulder with one hand resting on your upper arm. “It’s okay. Keep breathing for me, alright. That’s it, baby. Just relax, you’re going to be fine. You’re strong, you can fight this.”

Minutes later, Nancy returned with your medicine in her hand. Fortunately, the migraine was subsiding, and you swallowed two pills, which soon brought you much-needed relief. Eventually, you were able to sit up straight again. Once you convinced your parents that you were feeling better, they left the restaurant to drive the car up to the front as Keanu paid for everyone’s meals.

“Thanks, Keanu,” you said in a soft tone, your eyes showing that same sparkle from earlier. “I appreciate what you did back there.”

“It’s no problem,” he responded, not realizing that he was still holding you close in his arms. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to take up your space—”

“Don’t worry, no harm was done,” you assured him, reaching up to place your hand above the one on your arm, and you had yet to move away from him. “I’m just looking forward to coming home. I feel pretty exhausted all of a sudden.”

Keanu used his free hand to brush a loose lock of your hair from your face, his lips merely inches away from your delicate ones. He fought back the strong urge to lean down and capture them in a sweet kiss, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. Again, he was technically still a stranger to you.

“Well, once we drop off your parents at the airport, I’ll take you back home. To our home.”

“I can’t wait.” You smiled softly at him before tilting your head up, pressing a brief kiss on his cheek, which made him feel warm all over.

Has it really been that long?

---

“Have a safe flight, guys,” you hugged both of your parents tightly as Keanu took their luggage out of the trunk, wheeling them to where you three stood in the airport terminal.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Nancy kissed your forehead, wiping the tears that were escaping your eyes. “Aww darling, don’t cry. What’s wrong?”

Shrugging, you then let out a little laugh. “Nothing, it’s just I’ve never been this far away from you and dad before.”

Peter sighed, putting his hands on your cheeks to cradle your face. “You’ll be okay. Remember, we’re one phone call away. If there’s anything that you need, call us. I don’t care if it’s at three in the morning or even if it’s for something you think might be ridiculous. We’re here for you even if we’re thousands of miles away.”

Wrapping your father up in a close embrace, Peter glanced at Keanu, who was standing behind you. He quickly kissed the side of your temple before pulling away. Keanu then watched as Peter leaned in to whisper into your ear, and he couldn’t make out what he was saying. Not long after, Nancy invited him to come over and join them in one last group hug.

“You take good care of our daughter,” Peter stated, lightly tapping on Keanu’s shoulder. “Update us if anything happens.”

Keanu nodded. “I will. You have my word.”

After your parents headed inside, you and Keanu got back into the car and drove out of the terminal. For a while, he noticed you staring out of the open window. You were wearing his sunglasses again, smiling at the way your hair flew into your face as the fresh breeze blew around you. From time to time, he would steal a glance as you bask in the warm sunlight hitting your skin. You seemed so peaceful and so happy as if nothing had happened and things were normal.

“Eyes on the road, Reeves,” you quipped when you caught him staring.

“I can’t help it,” he chuckled, his focus returning to what was in front of him. “You look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I truly am,” came your reply, and moments later, you closed the window back up before turning your head to the side. “Hey, I know you’re wondering what my dad was whispering to me back at the airport.”

“You caught that, huh?”

You gave him a nod as you pushed Keanu’s shades on the top of your head. “He was just reminding me that you’re a good man, and you would take care of me. How you acted when we were at the restaurant was clear proof of it. That's why my parents aren’t worried about leaving me here behind.”

Keanu smiled softly at your words. “I’m really glad that you decided to stay with me.”

“Me too,” you returned. “You’re nothing like my last boyfriend, Eric, and I’m starting to see why I fell for you so soon.”

Eric. The sound of his name still made Keanu feel sick to this day. He would never understand how someone could treat you the way Eric did. But then again, how was Keanu any better for what he had done?

Minutes later, silence filled the car, and when Keanu glanced your way, he saw your eyes drifting close. It had been a long day that’s for sure, and you needed rest. Soon, you had fallen asleep in your seat, leaving Keanu with his wandering thoughts. For now, he cast them aside, choosing to deal with them some other time when he was ready.

With a deep breath, Keanu continued driving down the freeway as the sun began to set over the hills of Los Angeles. Finally, you were on your way home.

Part 5

Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @fanficsrusz @toomanystoriessolittletime @awessomness @meetmeinthematinee @ringa-starr @iworshipkeanureeves

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves x you #reader insert #my fics #rpf

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rivalsforlife · 4 years

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AAA thank you for the commentary and also for the links for the art + the piece with kay giving miles a hug, i hadn't seem them!! miles really really needed that hug :C since you said you like doing commentary, i'm so sorry, but can i ask for phoenix and miles talking in the hospital in chapter 7? reading the commentary about The Scene made me rush to read it again right after haha take your time though, i get these are long to do and all!! thank you again!

Anonymous said:

Wait hold on I would purchase this DVD Director’s Cut Commentary on your fics in heartbeat! I only just realized that you were doing them. Sorry to be another catch up game request and sorry that it’s a somewhat long passage, but could you comment on the scene where Phoenix and Miles reconcile in Miles’ hospital room in chapter 8?

Got two asks for this one so I guess I have to do it haha! (And I’m assuming the first anon meant chapter 8 instead of chapter 7 haha.)

and also @\ second anon request I am so glad to hear that there’s a market for my 150 hour long DVD that’s me reading my fics and then rambling about them repetitively the whole time, maybe I can drop out of school after all! (jokesjokes)

Anyways!! the scene!! under the cut!!

I totally lied I have a few things to talk about first... this is probably one of the scenes I fiddled around the most with at the last minutes before publishing, because like I said in my commentary of The Scene at the end of chapter 5, it got a much bigger reaction than I was anticipating and then I was side-eyeing the rest of this fic to make sure it worked out haha. Particularly this scene, since it’s sort of the resolution to the end of chapter 5, so I wanted it to work out alright without it seeming like it just... wrote off everything that happened with chapter 5.

Okay I’ll start now I promise.

Phoenix’s heart pounded in his chest to a degree he thought might have something to do with a health condition. Maybe it was in the pamphlets. Kay reached around him, knocked on the door, and gave him a wink before darting away. How disrespectful.

meddlesome thief daughter is determined to help get her totally-not-a-dad a boyfriend. Also Phoenix is way more intimidated by the thought of an Honest Emotional Conversation than he is at running into a burning building which I think is in character, honestly.

“Come in,” said Edgeworth’s muffled voice, so Phoenix gave himself one moment to take a deep breath and then entered the room.

Edgeworth sat in the bed by the window, looking at his burnt and bent out-of-shape Steel Samurai figurine perched on the windowsill. At least it had been recovered; Edgeworth was fond of that one. Edgeworth himself was definitely worse for wear, with his hands bandaged and gripping tightly to his inner arms, and his skin a sickly pale colour where it wasn’t bruised, but he was awake and alive and the sight was nearly breathtaking.

hhghgh okay confession time! Up until I was about halfway through the fic the big moments in chapter 7 went down a little differently - originally this was going to involve, like, Miles getting kidnapped by the mafia group he was taking down and then Phoenix would go in and break him out of there, but then I ended up taking it out because I wasn’t really Vibing with it and it just seemed too dramatic and implausible... but honestly what I went with was probably equally dramatic and implausible, so no points there for me.

I mean I kinda regret burning down the prosecutor’s office. If I had more time to prepare/edit or I guess if I could do one thing in this fic differently, I’d probably rewrite part of this resolution so it was more emotionally oriented because I suck at action. plus like the health-related consequences of this whole misadventure kind of got glossed over, in true ace attorney fashion, but regardless.

This was absolutely caused by me not being totally sure what hurt/comfort meant (which chapters 7 and 8 were based on as a theme) and figuring to go with the safer option of more physical hurt/comfort than more emotional hurt/comfort; although some of that got in there at the end.

And one of my edits was definitely recovering the Steel Samurai figurine because that was the most critical thing in Miles’ office imo. Or at least from Miles’ perspective.

Edgeworth looked over as Phoenix entered, and his entire body sagged in relief. “Phoenix,” he breathed.

“Hey.” Awkwardly sticking his hands in his pockets, Phoenix walked over and sat on the chair beside his bed. He couldn’t help but think about the last time he and Edgeworth had been in a hospital room together, their positions reversed. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” said Edgeworth, and his voice was still rough. “I—I don’t… you’re alive.”

“‘Course I am.”

“Gumshoe and Kay told me everything, you know.” A menacing look flashed through his eyes. “What you did.”

Phoenix braced himself.

Gumshoe and Kay probably were there right when Miles woke up, a little before Phoenix did, I suppose -- or at least around when he was being rescued, maybe? I didn’t think this timeline through super well since Miles was in worse condition... ignore that! Anyways they definitely told Miles that Phoenix was alive, but considering Miles presumably witnessed him fall through a burning building, he can’t fully believe it until he sees Phoenix upright and walking around like nothing’s wrong.

“How could you be so reckless?” he hissed, and even though some of the danger was lessened when his voice was so shaky, Phoenix still recoiled. “You could have died, easily! You defied direct police orders and — and all — all logic and reason and for what?”

“To save you. Of course.”

“I would have been fine!”

Risking his life for someone is just your average Tuesday for Phoenix. But it shook up Miles a lot, and all of his anger is completely coming from a place of concern, but Miles being Miles doesn’t really know how to express emotions outside of angry glaring and in this case angry yelling.

“Would you?” Phoenix challenged, and Edgeworth’s glare redoubled. “Look, Edgeworth, I wasn’t going to die, not while I still had something to live for —”

“How is that going to stop you?” Edgeworth demanded. “People can have the world to live for and they still die! By your logic, I-I wasn’t enough for m-my —” He turned away and broke off into a coughing fit.

The realization struck Phoenix like a physical blow. “No, I didn’t mean to suggest —”

The “I wasn’t going to die, not while I had something to live for” is a reference to Phoenix’s line at the end of AA4; “People don't die that easily, really. ... As long as they've got something worth living for.” Which is a nice sentiment, really, and might work for Mr. Indestructible over here, but is not how things actually work, which Miles points out.

What he was going to say (if it’s not obvious) is “By your logic, I wasn’t enough for my father,” because you know Gregory would have done anything to stay with his son, but a bullet to the heart is a bullet to the heart. There’s not much “having something to live for” can do about that.

“Something to live for isn’t going to save you!” continued Edgeworth, once he recovered. “Why can’t you realize that? It’s not going to stop a bullet, it’s not going to save you from a fall, you — how much longer are you going to keep relying on your luck like this?! Do you — do you even realize how much danger you keep putting yourself in?”

His choice of examples here are what I want to talk about - “not going to stop a bullet” refers to both Gregory’s murder and also the last time he saw Phoenix’s life in danger, during SOJ when the guards burst in and are pretty much pointing guns at their heads -- I’d be surprised if Miles wasn’t terrified watching that, even if he wouldn’t admit it after everything calmed down. “not going to save you from a fall” refers both to this most recent falling through a burning building but ALSO Phoenix falling through the burning bridge in Bridge to the Turnabout, another instance where Phoenix almost died and Miles was involved.

And the events of SOJ where Phoenix walks in and risks his life for a kid, while something that Miles understands he would do since that’s the kind of guy Phoenix is, still were reckless and if Phoenix didn’t have protagonist immunity who knows if he would have made it through Khura’in, which is the most recent traumatic event prior to this fic.

Phoenix held up his hands. “Edgeworth, it’s okay.”

“No! No it’s not! Y-You… Do you have a death wish? Why would you ever…” He trailed off, digging his fingers into his arms and looking away.

Miles is just kind of... panicking a lot as the full weight of the situation they were just in catches up with him and just how close he was to losing Phoenix. He was going to say something like “Why would you ever do that for me?” but that’s edging a little too close to the whole issue of the rejected confession; he’s not someone particularly special to Phoenix, at least not in the way Miles would like, and they parted on awkward terms, so why would Phoenix still go out of his way to save him like this?

“It’s fine,” Phoenix tried to soothe. “We’re alive. If I hadn’t gone in there, who knows if they would have gotten to you in time, or if you hadn’t gotten that mask on when you did… Look, I don’t want to just sit back and watch you die —”

“I don’t want you dead, either! You imbecile! You…” He took in a sharp, shaky inhale. “You could have died, and it would have been my fault, do you think I want that? Do you think I could live with myself if that had happened? And not just now, you keep throwing yourself into reckless situation after reckless situation and one day you’ll pay the price for it a-and god, Wright, no one would ever want that, do you even consider the effect that would have o-on Trucy, on everyone, on…”

He turned his head to the side to hide it better behind his bandaged hand, but Phoenix could still see the tears dripping down his face. Phoenix hadn’t seen him cry since — since they were kids, probably. His eyes had been a little watery after the DL-6 incident was resolved, but Phoenix hadn’t actually seen anything. Even when he came to the Agency after prosecuting cases where the public details alone made Phoenix’s stomach turn, and he’d whisper about the horrors with his face in his hands long after they were sure Trucy was asleep, he hadn’t cried.

“Miles,” Phoenix whispered, horrified, reaching out for his shaking shoulder.

Edgeworth flinched away, curling in on himself. “Please don’t touch me.”

Miles... pretty much has a full-on breakdown here because he’s been through a LOT in the past few days. He finally worked up the courage to confess to Phoenix and was rejected, and then probably spent a lot of time worrying about how this could change their friendship, and if Phoenix would be less comfortable around him from now on; plus in general the hurt of being rejected plus the humiliation of having read the situation so wrong (so he thinks). Then the office was attacked which was horribly traumatic on his own, and dredged up some DL-6 trauma for him too with the building shaking like it did. Then Phoenix comes running in to rescue him, which Miles doesn’t understand, because they had parted on awkward terms and he doesn’t think Phoenix would want to go rescuing him after that; at the same time this is the sort of thing Phoenix would do because he’s so dedicated to the people he cares about and Miles loves that about him; and then he thought for a while there that Phoenix had fallen and died trying to save Miles, making it indirectly Miles’ fault that he died, and now he’s lost the man he loves and he’s lost Trucy’s father and someone who was such a loyal friend to so many people -- but he’s okay! and acting like nothing happened! plus it’s the first time Miles has seen him since his attempted confession and it’s still a little raw for him.

so he’s a complete wreck emotionally... which is why he’s crying. I don’t see Miles as the type of person to cry a lot and ESPECIALLY not in front of other people. That’s probably very embarrassing for him, too, not to mention he’s crying in front of Phoenix, who’s trying to comfort him, which just makes everything worse.

Also Phoenix calling Miles by his first name and kind of reaching out to hold him reaaaally does not help.

“Alright.” Phoenix reluctantly lowered his arm. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Phoenix corrected, and Edgeworth peeked out from between his arms with reddened eyes to glare at him. “I know that sounds like a half-assed apology. But I’m not going to apologize for saving your life. I’m never going to stand by and let you or anyone else die if I can stop it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah. Probably.”

Another instance of Miles not knowing how to process feelings and being kind of angry-cat-like about it.

“Your life has more value than you know,” Edgeworth mumbled. “I wish you’d stop treating it so cheaply.”

“I’m not more important than anyone else.”

“You are to me.” Edgeworth sighed. “Forget I said anything. I know it isn’t going to stop you from doing the exact same idiotic thing in the future.”

HERE is a subtle callback to, once again, their conversation during the dinner in chapter 4 (which I’m referencing a lot back then since I guess it’s the scene where everyone’s repressing their emotions):

Phoenix immediately shook his head. “Hey, no, you were off doing research, planning to change the judicial system. I’m not more important than that.”

“You…” Edgeworth looked away and grabbed his arm. “... That doesn’t change the fact that I could have done more.”

He was going to say “You are to me”, like he did in this scene, but changed it at the last moment because it was too sappy and a little too close to his true feelings.

Miles now, going through an emotional breakdown, has less control over what he’s saying so it just sort of slips out -- but he regrets saying it since, well, Phoenix doesn’t feel the same way about him, he wouldn’t want to hear that, it’s not going to change anything.

“I don’t think it’s idiotic for me to try and save someone I care about from death,” Phoenix argued, punctuating his sentence with a cough.

“You shouldn’t do that for me.”

“Of course I would risk my life for you. You’re… you…” The words got stuck somewhere before his tongue.

Edgeworth’s eyes squeezed shut as if in pain, and he turned his back to Phoenix. “Please just… give me space, Wright.”

What Phoenix is trying to do is express how important Miles is to him in a romantic sort of way, but he still hasn’t fully acknowledged everything yet to do so, there’s a whole psyche-lock left, so he can’t quite get it out.

Miles perceives this as Phoenix trying to comfort him and say that he is important -- and he does know that he is important in some way to Phoenix -- but trying to do it in a way that can’t be mistaken as romantically-intended, once again reminding Miles of “hey remember when you tried to confess to him and it backfired so horribly”, so he wants space. Both for now because he’s dealing with a lot of other trauma, but also to take some time and get over Phoenix so he isn’t reminded of this and they can go back to being friends like before.

“No,” said Phoenix, and when Edgeworth tensed, “I-I mean, yes, I’ll go in a minute. I just… I wanted to talk to you about, uh, before all this. I-I know it’s terrible timing.”

Edgeworth was silent. Phoenix feared he was being ignored. “It is indeed terrible timing,” he said, eventually, his voice nearly unrecognizable. “I thought I said I didn’t want to talk about this again.”

Miles is anticipating the “You’re a great guy and a great friend, I just don’t feel the same way, but I’m sure you’ll make someone happy someday” conversation, which, while not a bad thing in most situations, is really not what Miles wants to deal with right now! Avoiding it was partially the reason he left so quickly at the end of chapter 5, and now he’s cornered in his hospital bed and does not want to have this conversation... ever, really, but especially not right now.

Basically Phoenix’s timing sucks, don’t have an emotionally charged conversation about why you rejected your crush after a traumatic incident irl, this is fiction though and I’m doing it for the drama.

“You don’t have to say anything. You don’t ever have to talk about this with me again if you don’t want to.” Phoenix ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I just want to apologize, a-and if I don’t do it now, I’m not sure I’ll have the courage to do it again.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Wright,” said Edgeworth, to the wall.

one of the first drafts of Phoenix’s part had “You don’t ever have to talk to me again if you don’t want to” which was imo too far; Miles wouldn’t completely abandon Phoenix over this, and also, if Miles wanted to cut off all contact with Phoenix he’d probably just do it. Phoenix is just promising he won’t bring up the conversation again.

Miles thinks he’s about to apologize for not returning Miles’ feelings, which of course isn’t something Phoenix would have to apologize for.

“Yeah, I do.” Phoenix took a deep breath and summoned more courage than he ever had before. “I… I lied to you. When you asked me how I felt.”

Edgeworth turned his head back to him. Phoenix willed himself to not look away, or crack some cheap joke. Just kidding, Edgeworth! I enjoy toying with your emotions! That wouldn’t go over well.

Miles would be well within his rights to cut off all contact with Phoenix if Phoenix DID say “Oh by the way I do love you! haha just kidding! why are you crying.”

And these two being so dedicated to The Truth is why Phoenix focuses the apology more around “I’m sorry that I lied to you” -- also why he was so bothered by the comment Miles made about his honesty throughout chapter 6 and 7.

Edgeworth’s face crossed at least three equally incomprehensible emotions before he asked, “Why?”

The incomprehensible emotions are probably some variation on “am I dead???”

“I…” Phoenix sighed, and admitted, “I don’t know.”

“It would make more sense if it were the other way around,” said Edgeworth, and his expression closed off. “I’m — I’m not misunderstanding, am I?”

Instead of asking if he was misunderstanding, the first draft of this had Miles ask if Phoenix was trying to spare his feelings... but I think Miles would know Phoenix well enough to know that Phoenix would never do that.

Phoenix still hasn’t worked through his Issues and hasn’t outright said that he does love Miles, just that he lied about how he felt - sneaky way to get past the psyche-locks.

“No, you’re not,” Phoenix insisted, leaning forward. “I didn’t mean what I said back the other day, when I said I didn’t feel the same. I-I just panicked, I think. I knew, already, how you felt, but I never thought you’d say it. I never knew exactly how to read you, then suddenly you’re baring your heart to me, and it was too much.” He realized how close he was to Miles, and started getting out of his chair. “I-It’s a stupid reason. I’m sorry. I-I’ll just go, you don’t have to deal with me right now —”

“Wait.” Edgeworth grabbed his wrist before he could go too far. “Please.”

His grip was gentle but still firm. Phoenix sat back down with superhuman effort.

Phoenix finally realizes that dumping heavy emotions on Miles right now might not be the best idea! But Miles starts processing what’s actually going on and demands answers Right Now. And he initiates physical contact again. I usually try to have it go about when writing these things that if someone refuses physical contact (like Miles does before) they’re the one to initiate it again, just so that no boundaries are broken here.

Edgeworth was silent for a long time. “Always turning things around on me, aren’t you,” he said eventually, in a hoarse whisper.

This line was a fairly last-minute addition! Just imagine it being said in kind of a... exasperated-fond tone of a man who is very much in love but also very tired. “I understand you always want to turn things around on me but did you really have to do it this way, Phoenix,”

Phoenix ducked his head. “I never meant to hurt you. I — I care about you a lot, Miles, and I’m sorry if I screwed things up because I got scared. I want the same thing you do, I just don’t know if I can anymore, it’s been so long and…” He let out some self-deprecating laughter. “Isn’t that stupid? I’m such a coward. I know you, I know you wouldn’t hurt me, not on purpose. But I just can’t…”

So Phoenix hasn’t been in a serious relationship since the Dahlia-Iris debacle in college, which by this point, is fifteen years. And that was traumatizing enough he’s not sure he knows how to navigate a romantic relationship anymore or be vulnerable in that sort of way again.

That “not on purpose” caveat is there because Miles has hurt Phoenix pretty badly before -- not intending to, of course, because I don’t think he thought anyone would really care after the “Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death” note, but he still did anyways.

And since I usually like to plan out what characters are saying when I have them trail off like that... Phoenix’s intention was to say something along the lines of how he can’t get over what happened or whatever this emotional block is that won’t let him express his romantic feelings freely, but can’t find the words for it.

“Don’t you dare put yourself down in front of me.” Edgeworth reached out, slowly, to guide Phoenix’s head upward to meet his eyes. “I… I always thought you were the more… emotional, of the two of us. I’d assumed you weren’t saying anything, before, to give me time to process how I felt. I thought you were just waiting for me to speak up.”

Miles kind of degrades Phoenix often in court but, at least after Turnabout Goodbyes, I was always under the impression it’s just courtroom banter/not letting Phoenix think he’d go easy on him. Judging by the big emotional speeches about Phoenix’s brilliance he tends to give afterwards, there’s no way he actually thinks Phoenix is stupid.

And the rest of that is pretty much giving the reader who has not read these extensive DVD commentaries more insight into Miles’ perspective throughout the fic!

“Guess we got it the other way around,” said Phoenix with a faint laugh. “I-I mean, I used to be that kind of person. Everyone always knew how I felt all the time. It didn’t really… well, you can’t survive long like that.” He placed his free hand over his heart. “I-I’ve got locks, you know that? Black ones. I don’t know for sure why, but I can guess.”

Edgeworth scowled. “Dahlia?”

“Not just her,” said Phoenix. “She — and Iris — they’re not the only ones, you know, who — who I thought betrayed me.”

Edgeworth released Phoenix’s wrist. “Me,” he realized. “You thought I’d betray your trust again.”

Pretty much summary of Phoenix talking about how he used to be the “Feenie” in Turnabout Memories and then the events of the games slamdunked him into the emotional repression zone. ... to put it simply.

And Miles’ hurt at Phoenix pointing out that Miles had betrayed him in the past (referring to the Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death thing, primarily, because Phoenix describes it as a betrayal himself in the games) is less hurt that Phoenix doesn’t trust him and more guilt/anger at himself for having hurt Phoenix in the past to the point it could be comparable with what Dahlia and Iris did.

(Phoenix interprets it as the former, though, in the next paragraph.)

“I know you wouldn’t,” Phoenix clarified, because the brief flicker of hurt across Edgeworth’s face was unbearable. “I trust you to be a good person, and I trust you as my friend, but I… Miles, you left before, and it hurt. A-And let’s be honest, you’ve always been the smarter of the two of us, you’re better looking, you — you’re always fighting for justice, now, for truth, you’re honestly incredible. Why wouldn’t you want to leave me?”

“I trust you to be a good person, and I trust you as my friend, but I don’t trust you not to leave again” is the full version of that sentence, but Phoenix stopped himself because it seemed too cruel to say out loud.

And Phoenix using the word “incredible” here is also a very tiny subtle callback to Miles calling Phoenix incredible back during the original confession in chapter 5!

... I realized looking back on it that in my editing of that confession I accidentally cut out the part where Miles calls Phoenix intelligent during that conversation, shit, and then Phoenix claims that Miles called him intelligent when arguing back, which doesn’t make any sense anymore. Originally when Miles says “surely you figured it out already?” it was a little later and he said something like “surely you figured it out already, with your brilliant mind” but that was overkill so I cut it out but forgot to cut out the intelligence comment! fun how you realize these things so long after publishing! anyways. once more, please ignore that.

THE POINT IS that the things they find attractive about each other tend to be similar because they have very similar values and goals; their fight for truth and justice being a core one.

“I don’t know where you’ve gotten these impressions of me, but you’re wrong,” said Edgeworth, his gaze locking onto Phoenix like he was chasing down a contradiction. “You can be very stupid, when you’re risking your life running into a collapsing building, for instance — but you’re one of the smartest men I know, smarter in ways I’ll never be. I wouldn’t be anywhere on my path to truth if you weren’t there to guide me. And…” A faint sheen of pink covered his face. “I find you extremely handsome. I’m not sure if you know this.”

Phoenix was sure he was turning red. “I don’t know why you would.”

“Any thought suggesting that you’re not good enough for me is wrong,” Edgeworth asserted. “I think it’s the other way around. You’re — you’re brave, you’re good, you’re always so strong despite everything… I admire that about you.”

look I love morosexual miles jokes as much as anyone else, but Phoenix is actually wickedly smart, albeit in an unconventional sort of way -- he’s a very flexible thinker and that can lead him to reach conclusions that Miles didn’t even consider. I found that interesting with investigations that sometimes Miles got so caught up in his logic and assumptions that he’d get stuck, and it was only emulating Phoenix’s thinking that got him out of it.

(Which is why I usually get a little irritated at some characterizations of Phoenix where he’s just completely oblivious in contrast to extremely intelligent Miles... anyways.)

And if my twitter feed is any indication, lots of people find Phoenix Wright attractive... so Miles isn’t alone there.

“But that’s just it, I’m not,” Phoenix argued. “I-I can’t be that. I’m always pretending to be strong, always smiling, for you, for Maya and Pearls, for Trucy… I think I forgot to be anything else. I didn’t want you to need me and then realize I wasn’t up to the task, and leave. Because…” He let out a bit of faint laughter, but there was no joy in it. “That’s always what happens. People need me, then they don’t, and they leave for better things. I wouldn’t ever want to stop them, but the more attached I get, the more it hurts when they leave me behind.”

oof this paragraph was a chore and a half to write because I had to kind of cut to the core of Phoenix’s characterization bits that cause the conflict of this fic, mainly the abandonment areas -- which was why I needed pretty much everyone Phoenix cares about to not be around as much as he’d like, which feels like he’s being left behind, as everyone fulfills their destiny and is happy and he’s just... the same.

which is like a total mood for me approaching the end of my years in university and having no idea what I’m doing with my life while most of my friends are gonna do great things -- but I also think it’s a fairly universal human experience. no one really knows what they’re doing.

But especially for Phoenix because his career was defined by saving a specific person -- in this case Miles, who’s past needing saving and is going on to save other people. Then there was taking care of Maya and Pearls, but Maya is a proper adult now and Pearl is also an adult and they’re living their own independent lives in Kurain Village without needing him. Then Trucy kept him together throughout disbarment but even she’s grown up and leaving to live her own life now. And like I said in the other asks Phoenix tends to fall apart without someone to take care of, and now suddenly he has no one to look after and is questioning his purpose if he’s not taking care of or trying to save someone.

And since so much of his personality is defined by that he kind of gets tired and gets in the mindset of “if they’re just going to leave anyway, why even bother getting attached?” which could have gotten really unhealthy if he’d allowed it to fester for much longer; luckily it got caught and dealt with fairly early with the help of off-screen therapy after this.

Edgeworth was silent for a moment, as if weighing his words. “You don’t have to be strong for me anymore,” he said. “I needed you when I was younger, but… I don’t need you now. That’s not why I’m still here.”

Phoenix’s breath caught somewhere deep in his chest.

“I just… want you, Phoenix Wright, because I’ve known you for so long, and I’ve loved every part of you I’ve seen.” The lines around his eyes and mouth softened. “I won’t run from the rest. And I don’t want to leave your side, not for long, not for good, whether that’s as a friend or as something else. I am willing to try if you are.”

I really like these lines!! ... though I think I fiddled with the last paragraph a little too much and now it’s a bit too long and it throws off the rhythm a bit but oh well. is rhythm even the right word to use here? idk.

But basically it’s about their relationship being much healthier now that Miles isn’t dependent on Phoenix for the sake of his own mental health -- he likes the person Phoenix is, even outside of all that Phoenix did for him, and even if Phoenix hadn’t done anything for him, he’d still love Phoenix. (... He’d probably be dead, too, and everything Phoenix did definitely helped his feelings develop, but regardless.)

And it’s also kind of what Phoenix needs to hear right now, because hey, Phoenix, people don’t stick around because you help them out; they stick around because they like you! And this applies to pretty much everyone Phoenix cares about (which Trucy says in her letter) but Miles is speaking on his feelings specifically since this is the Romance moment.

And the last line kind of enforces a “even if this relationship doesn’t work out, I still don’t want to leave your side, even if we’re only friends,” plus Miles comes down a bit from his dramatic all-or-nothing “I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU” speech and to a more reasonable “I’m willing to put effort and time into making this relationship romantic if you are as well”.

so maybe the rejection did him some good after all.

“Miles,” Phoenix whispered.

“If you want me…” He took a deep breath and rested one hand, palm up, beside Phoenix. “If you want me, I am here. And even if you don’t, I’m not going anywhere. It’s as I said before. I’m done running away.”

We don’t get into Miles’ head so I don’t get to explore his thoughts as much as I do Phoenix’s (which is why so much of these DVD commentaries are just What Is Going On With Miles Edgeworth since (I hope!) I conveyed Phoenix’s thoughts sufficiently in the actual fic. But this conversation is probably taking a lot out of him emotionally, too. He has no idea what he’s doing. I tried to convey that a bit with his actions with him thinking things over carefully and taking deep breaths to kind of brace himself into making a move.

And his words are once again affirming the “even if you don’t want to be romantically involved with me, I’ll still be by your side as a friend”, because their relationship is so important to both of them, they wouldn’t want anything coming in between that.

Phoenix extended his hand, brushing his fingertips against Miles’ palm. The sensation was the only thing that made him sure this wasn’t a dream.

“I’ve been chasing after you my whole life,” said Phoenix, scarcely able to breathe. “I don’t know what to do if I’ve caught up.”

shameless title reference. I struggled so much with this title I was lying in bed the last day of June like “screw it, the catch-up game??? Sounds catchy enough???” and threw it on there. This is my approach to most of my titles. Either I have a title in my head from the outset (Deep Dark Secrets, Fifty Flights of Stairs) or I make it up at the last possible minute.

“Well, you have.” Miles’ hand shifted, but it was only to thread their fingers together, tight and reassuring. “I don’t know either. We’ll figure it out together, as we do with everything else.”

Phoenix lifted his head to meet those familiar grey eyes, mirroring the fear and anticipation and the giddy, almost child-like excitement in his own, and he smiled. “Yeah. I think I can try that.”

neither of them know what they’re doing but together they can accomplish anything!! is the vibe I wanted to go with. Honestly the way that they can work together to do anything they put their minds to and create miracles in court is one of the things I love so much about this ship. They complement each other so well and have so much faith and trust in each other that they make the perfect duo. Like two halves of the same whole. about the closest thing you can get to actual soulmates.

Anyways that’s the scene! Hope both you anons enjoyed it haha. This is one of the big emotional conflict resolution scenes (the other being Trucy’s letter later) so it’s got lots of stuff to talk about, so thank you!!

#dvd commentary meme #the catch-up game #asks

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magioftheseas · 3 years

Text

A Different Face

For @badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Wiping the Other’s Tears Away taken from here.

Rating: G

Warnings: Grief/Mourning.

Notes: I can’t believe it took me this long to write for Your Turn To Die/Kimi Ga Shine. I really like that game. I really like Nao, I really like Reko, I really like NaoReko. Hopefully I’ll write better stuff in the future.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

It was an especially unremarkable funeral all around. Private, unsurprisingly, with little said as they went through the motions. It wasn’t even gray out. Sunny, but not too warm. Lukewarm weather—perfect for the occasion, some would say.

After all, that Alice even got a fraction of the usual ceremony was generous. Truth be told, she wouldn’t be surprised if her parents were glad that he was gone. Less shame on the family. One less murderer in the world.

She lets him get buried with her bongos, and that’s the extent of good will she can muster. To show more than that will just make the matter a hassle, and haven’t they all been through enough?

“Well,” Reko mutters to her brother’s grave, fingers tracing the engravement of his name. “Can’t say I’m exactly relieved things turned out like this.”

Her parents had long left. They offered to take her out to dinner, of course, but she lied and said she already ate. She didn’t plan on telling them she’d like to stay with Alice a bit longer. She’s not exactly looking to get pity or sympathy—especially from them.

Should I at least tell the old band members? She wondered, arms crossed over her chest, lips pursed. She felt uncomfortable in her funeral dress. She felt uncomfortable with her hair neatly combed down instead of styled. She felt uncomfortable with an unpainted face.

Her brother was gone and she had to wish him off in a form completely alien. He wouldn’t have recognized her. She barely recognized herself.

“Dammit, Alice.”

She wanted to kick at the grave. Something about it pissed her off. Maybe she should’ve brought incense to burn. Maybe that would’ve calmed her down. As if those traditions were for the sake of the living.

Aren’t they, though? It’s not like the dead can appreciate them.

Besides, Alice hated both flowers and incense. Because he was both allergic and sensitive. So lame.

“So lame,” she whispered, brushing her hair back. “Dying is a burden only the living can carry, y’know. Just what the hell were you thinking? Taking someone’s life only to lose your own...” She had to swallow down a hard lump and her eyes burn. “Didn’t you consider us at all? You fucking asshole.”

She had half a mind to kick his stupid grave. He wouldn’t even get mad at her for it. Alice knew how much he pissed them all off with his crimes and he still, and he still—

“You wanted to reconcile, didn’t you? You wanted to be forgiven, right?” Her breath hitched. “How the fuck can that happen now that you’re gone?!”

Rather than lashing out, Reko finally fell down to her knees, trembling in the crisp spring air. The season of rebirth and her murdering asshole brother was dead. How the hell was that for irony? She had half a mind to scream about it.

“Urgh...”

Tears were blurring her vision now and it really was so, so goddamn lame. Like all Alice had really been good for was breaking her heart. As if there hadn’t been any good memories when the two were kids...when the two played together. She had already mourned that brother years ago. Her parents had been understanding then, and she wonders if anyone would understand now. There’s one less murderer in the world—that’s a good thing, isn’t it?

And yet, it fucking hurts. Because it had to be Alice.

Because it was Alice, because she had been hurt by him enough already, Reko just let herself cry it out again. All the same tears of anguish and frustration. Of betrayal and anger. Of shame. Of regret. All over again, like a shitty song on repeat. She cried and cried into her hands, curled up on the ground before her brother’s grave, letting herself mourn like a normal person because she at least deserved that.

It wasn’t cathartic in the way she hoped it would be. Several minutes later, her face felt grossly swollen. Even after crying herself dry, she was still trembling with grief. Alice really knew how to wreck everything from their family to her composure. She almost wished she didn’t miss him. But she did. She’s just replaying all their good times in her head, wondering where the hell it all went wrong.

Why’d you even kill that guy, Alice? You never told me why. I never pressed because what mattered more was what you did than why you did it but—should I have?

And now she’ll never get to.

“U-Um...”

Reko isn’t surprised that someone felt the need to check on her. She’s not even mad, given that it sounds like a worried girl and she’s not sure how long she’s been curled up on the ground. She’d be real fucking concerned, too.

Dammit. How uncool.

She already gave all her tissue to her parents. Fuck. But, when she pushes herself up, a shaky hand is offering her a handkerchief.

“H-Here,” the girl holding it stammers, shaking even more when Reko got a good look at her. “Y-You look like you need this...”

She’s—almost obscenely cute, with a frantic, bug-eyed expression and long, wild red hair pulled back into a ponytail. She looked a few years younger, so being found like this by her was even more flustering.

“No, I...” Swallowing, Reko tried to subtly wipe her nose. She winced when she ended up sniffling. “I’m fine. I think I got it all out.”

The latter was at least true. She was cried out, but she still kind of wanted to cover her face.

“Y-You most certainly are not fine!” the girl exclaimed because she wasn’t stupid. But to Reko’s surprise, rather than insisting, the young woman took the initiative and scrubbed Reko’s face with the handkerchief herself. “Y-You were crying for a good ten minutes...! And given the way you dressed, you must have just stood through a funeral! There’s no way you’re fine!”

It was pretty clumsy, the way she tried to wipe down Reko’s tearstained cheeks, but it wasn’t rough. Shakiness and pushiness aside, the gesture was as gentle as it could be. So, she just allowed it before the girl yelped and would’ve dropped the handkerchief had Reko not caught it.

“S-Sorry,” she stammered. “I, um, I got completely carried away... Um...”

“It’s fine,” Reko couldn’t help but laugh. Actually laugh, when her damn murdering brother’s grave was so close to her back. “I was being stubborn. You’re right. I’m not fine.”

“Um... It’s still uncalled for to be like that with someone I don’t even know,” she pointed out meekly. “Sorry. I’m really sorry...”

“Reko.”

She perked up, bug-eyed once more.

“My name’s Reko. Yabusame Reko. There. Now you know me.” Reko blew her nose on the handkerchief. “So, it’s cool, right?”

“C-Cool... I’m Egokoro Nao. Nice to...meet you...”

Nao wasn’t meeting her eyes, cheeks burning pink, but she kept on talking.

“I got so overzealous because... I lost someone recently, too. M-My professor... He was...instrumental to who I am today.”

“Yeah, my brother’s the same,” Reko said, smiling sardonically. Because it still hurt, she did have to ask. “Was this professor a good guy?”

“T-The best! Mishima-sensei had a scary face, but he was such a wonderful person! Super radiant!” Nao exclaimed with such passion. “He was a really, really good guy! H-He... He shouldn’t have died...! Wah...!”

“Ah...” But before Reko can offer the handkerchief back, Nao whipped out another and blew her nose, wailing into it.

“Professor was so nice—! W-Way too nice!” She sniffled, tears welling up. “S-So nice... He... He even protected me...”

Nao was wearing long baggy sleeves. When one of them fluttered down, Reko saw burn scars marring her pale arm.

Fuck.

“He was a hero, huh?”

“Yes, he was! Uu. B-But. S-Sorry, sorry, that was a year ago,” Nao stammered. “H-How, um...how was your brother? W-Was he also a good guy?”

“He was...” I don’t want to talk about him right now. It’s much easier to comfort her than to talk about him. “Complicated. We had good times, though. Hey, let’s sit down.”

She patted Nao’s shoulder, pausing for a moment before brushing away the beginning trickles of tears from Nao’s ruddy face. Her cheeks only got redder than her hair.

“R-Reko, you’re really cool,” she murmured. “A-And I was the one who approached you first...”

“As far as I’m concerned, that makes you way cooler.”

“Wah—!” Geez, any redder and this girl would burst into steam. At least she was cute. Painfully cute. Alice would’ve liked her. Reko already does. Maybe too much for a first meeting.

“Let’s talk a little more, Nao,” she says, and she hopes it doesn’t sound like begging. “I think—we’d get along pretty well, yeah? There’s not much to say about my brother...but I wouldn’t mind hearing about your professor.”

“Okay, but I do want to get to know you better, then, in that case,” Nao replied, looking so adorably serious. “I-If you don’t mind, Reko.”

Reko couldn’t help but grin, ever gentle as she ushered Nao away, further and further from Alice’s grave.

“Nah, I don’t mind at all. I can tell you a few things. Like how this isn’t my normal face.”

“I-It’s not?!”

She laughed again, and maybe her laughter carried to her brother. Maybe it didn’t. She had an uncomfortable feeling that Alice would be happy to see her getting along with someone else like this—but for her own sake, maybe that was fine.

Maybe that was just fine.

#Magi fics #bad things happen bingo #your turn to die #reko yabusame #bad things bingo

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rorykillmore · 4 years

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can you rank (loosely if u don't want to play exact favorites) villanelle's most important or influential denny relationships?

i’m just putting them roughly in the order she met/reunited with them on denny, for the record. and in case anyone was thinking of coming for me, this is just what i reckon are the most INFLUENTIAL, good and bad, not a complete list of her friends or family or important interactions

okay and this is just going underneath a cut because it got long as fuck

fox is villanelle’s best friend, her -- if we lived in the, like, idk, homestuck universe (not to immediately make this cursed.) where you can have a romantic soulmate AND a platonic soulmate, he’s her platonic soulmate. and in terms of influence, i want to emphasize how much of villanelle’s denny arc, like... could not have been possible without fox. fox was the first person who was ever kind to her despite having absolutely no reason to be, and he was also the person who challenged her in such an important way at such an important time. during the whole GRACE plot, HE came back for her, and HE’S the one who essentially said “look, you have a choice. you’re not just a tool for this organization. one way or another, you need to make a choice.” which. again. a huge first in her life!

i’m trying to keep these short and sweet since i have so many to talk about, but genuinely like... i cannot understate fox’s importance as a part of villanelle’s life. and for her to even be able to have a best friend, to begin with? that’s such a like, idk. cornerstone of things Normal People Get To Have, and every day i write her i am so so happy she found him. from an ooc perspective, they’ve like, been to hell and back together also, and there’s a fierce kind of joy as writer when you look at a relationship that’s over a year old and has evolved so much over that time and get to go “we made this together!!!”

konstantin meanwhile is... well, he’s the healthiest parental figure villanelle’s ever had. which. really isn’t a high bar! their relationship has always been so tempestuous because it is built on konstantin’s manipulation of villanelle, both to use her for his own gain and... y’know, for his own survival, being able to manage her as long as he did! but he also genuinely loves her, and has gone out of his way on a number of occasions to protect her or help her or take care of her whereas it’s quite likely that most of the twelve’s handlers... just wouldn’t give a shit! i highly doubt that the twelve are the kind of organization where you’re supposed to get actually attached to your agent. and for villanelle, konstantin’s affection for her makes things more confusing, because it’s hard for her to ever draw the line between what’s sincere affection and what’s manipulation. post-canon update, she kind of now aggressively thinks he’s full of shit and is rejecting him for her own well-being which i think! is an important boundary for villanelle to be able to learn to set for herself! and you and i have spoken about how we don’t want to reconcile that immediately, but i also think... she would very much miss him and that it would be very, very strange for her to be without him when she’s ALWAYS had him to fall back on on denny, and indeed in most of her adult life in general. she needs to learn to stand without him, but at the same time.... i’m super interested to see how they approach each other now from this more honest, fractured place.

and then we have ruby , which. i still think ruby and villanelle are one of the most delightfully unexpected panfandom dynamics i’ve ever helped form PERIOD. and it’s interesting because hunter and i have always talked about how you would never expect these two characters to connect on the surface -- and you wouldn’t! but in exploring the ways they’re different, we’ve also found these really jarring similarities between them, too? and i think in a way, they’ve kind of bled into each other on top of that. villanelle’s relationship with ruby is like, INCREDIBLY formative to her learning empathy and just how to... nurture a relationship and be there for other people, but she has also become someone who ruby looks up to, and i think she’s contributed to maybe. Darkening ruby a bit, in that way.

i also think of all the girls, ruby is the one who villanelle has the most explicitly maternal relationship with. weiss too, but i’ll get into why i think that works a bit differently in weiss’ section. but anyway, WHEN you have that kind of relationship with someone, at least when you’re approaching it with earnesty and a determination to do it Right, it challenges you with a certain kind of responsibility that i think has been essential to villanelle’s development too. not only has it taught villanelle how you love someone in a comparatively selfless way from what she’s used to, but requires from her a certain kind of self-awareness and moral awareness (if she doesn’t care about doing the right thing In General, she cares about doing right by ruby) that has allowed her to mature a bit on denny. so yeah, ABSOLUTELY one of of villanelle’s most influential dynamics.

she’s obviously also very close with weiss, and i would also call her feelings for weiss maternal, but compared to ruby/villanelle i think weiss and villanelle’s relationship tends to take on a more Sisterly overtone on the surface. and i think that’s maybe because weiss HAS a sister who is basically villanelle’s age, who is her other maternal figure, so for weiss that’s more just how these kinds of feelings tend to Manifest. idk. you know, not to speak for jay, that’s just my take on it. but while weiss and villanelle have never really clashed the way ruby and villanelle have and then had to work through resolving that, i think in a way weiss just holds villanelle more accountable on a more day to day basis? they’re always quite honest with each other, weiss has always been quick to call her out, and like -- post-graceplot, for instance, weiss was the one who was like “i believe you didn’t mean to hurt us but you still need to find a way to make this right.”

and not that weiss did this deliberately, but she’s also the person who REALLY tested the person villanelle has become on denny and how... committed she is to loving the people she loves, via everything that went down during the hunger games. the way villanelle feels about the sacrifice she made is still really complicated -- it’s not something she feels comfortable being commended for, but it’s also not something she regrets. she’s not one to put selfless sacrifice on a pedestal, especially not in a horrible situation like that where neither of them should have had to to begin with, but a part of her... does find a deep sense of relief in finding this validation that her love for weiss - and all the girls, really - is real, and that she proved it to herself. after the games, i think maybe villanelle can be open with weiss in a way that she can’t entirely be with the rest of the girls. it’s just one of those things where if you go through something like that together, the bond it forges is quite unique.

i wavered on whether to include blake because villanelle didn’t do quite as much active development with her or yang, but i’m throwing blake in here for a few reasons. 1) post-graceplot when villanelle was kind of avoiding everyone, blake was the person who was able to approach that from the most empathetic point of view since she had just recently been on a “running away from everyone” arc herself, and i think that ultimately helped villanelle a lot in easing into wanting to make things right.

2) blake’s death during the games, and her not coming back afterwards, was a HUGE driving factor in how desperately angry villanelle became after the fact. it’s also maybe the most raw experience she’d had with grief up to that point, and it wasn’t something she was able to reconcile. that loss really helped to fuel her rage and also taught villanelle that even when you do your best to love someone else, things can still go wrong and you can still lose them, and that... wasn’t an easy thing for her to come to terms with.

and 3) she promised to fuck up adam for her if he ever showed up which, i think, should be the driving goal of the rest of villanelle’s life,

sun and villanelle aka the single greatest example of “what if we jokingly shipped this oh god oh no wait i’m invested.” look they were always meant to be temporary but they were so goddamn sweet! while they lasted! i think planning temporary ships can give characters MOUNTAINS of development that endgame ships just can’t give you in the same way (not to say there’s not plenty of development that comes from endgame ships; i’m just saying there’s. a special kind of development that comes specifically from being brave enough to approach ending things with finality.) in villanelle’s case, that kind of stable, sweet relationship where she was tempering so much of herself deliberately could have never lasted, but it was good for her to get to experience that for a little while regardless? while i don’t think she was in love with sun, she did learn to just love him, and i think the clarity and simplicity sun approaches people in general with was something villanelle really benefited (and still benefits) from. most of all, it was significant for her to be able to see and understand that she wasn’t going to be able to be present and stable in that relationship in the way that sun deserved, and to make the decision to let him go. even if she was never OBSESSIVE about sun, villanelle still used to be a pretty selfish person who didn’t see any reason to let go of things if she enjoyed them, so i think. it can’t be underestimated, what sun taught her about love.

emerald and villanelle have come SUCH a long way. first they were friends, then they were very bitter enemies, now they’re friends again approaching even a familial fondness. when villanelle was angry at emerald, it was never so much morally based as it was specifically based in the way emerald had hurt ruby, and penny, and had lied to villanelle herself. and although they started to resolve that after em didn’t take the chance to take advantage of villanelle during the memory glitch, i really think it was all the cinder stuff that allowed them to become close again. there are a lot of parallels between emerald and villanelle: both of them have coped by refusing to acknowledge the depths they’d sunken into over their heads with their respective organizations, both of them have been stuck in incredibly fucked up situations with older women. i think when villanelle acknowledges what emerald’s been through and is able to recognize that and feel compassion for her, she’s in a way learning to feel compassion for herself, and that’s very significant. i’d love to see how they evolve after villanelle’s canon update because i think now she’ll even have. More feelings about that. and i also think on some subconscious level as the new fall maiden she feels some kind of obligation to em, to be better than cinder was.

eve is, of course, a given on a list like this. she is such a powerful - the most powerful, in fact - influence on villanelle in any universe, and i think a lot about that in the context of villanelle having so many other people in her life now who she loves and who love her. as we’ve kind of seen on at least one occasion, if villanelle had to choose between eve and everything and everyone else she has... she would always choose eve. which isn’t something i’m trying to paint as sweepingly romantic (i love villaneve and i love how disastrous they are around one another, but i can still admit i’d be concerned for someone who would choose their partner over EVERY OTHER LOVED ONE THEY HAVE COMBINED,) but then again, it’s not even necessarily only for romantic reasons. it’s because eve is someone and something villanelle... craves, needs, finds time and time again that she simply cannot live without.

and them trying to make a relationship with one another work on denny has really provided its own unique set of challenges that’ve had an impact on both of them. eve and villanelle are deeply intrinsically connected, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to peaceful coexistence. any semblance of that, i think, is something that they’re always going to have fight for durations of, because their instinct is so much to consume one another instead! while its effect on villanelle of course can’t be described as wholly healthy - like i just mentioned above, she can be pushed into that place where she just sabotages everything else in her life for eve even still - that isn’t to say that there aren’t things about eve that haven’t changed villanelle for the better too! because to even have a romantic relationship with eve for an extended period of time like she has, villanelle has had to get better at certain things. she’s had to access a place of vulnerability and willingness to communicate that she hasn’t with anyone else, she’s had to accept eve’s own agency and individuality separate from their relationship (which is something she did on denny even before season 3 had her do it in canon!), she’s even had to do things like confront what her, say, killing bill actually meant and how it affected and continues to affect eve. it’s an absolutely explosive and constantly unstable dynamic, but there is of course GENUINE love between the two of them, and i really love all the ways in which villanelle’s been challenged to fight for that.

carolyn bears a mention because she’s undoubtedly been hugely influential in the choices villanelle has made (and the ones which have been denied to her), especially lately. i don’t think villanelle ever particularly underestimated carolyn, but i think she was much too proud and too cocky to have imagined she’d have ever ended up under carolyn’s thumb the way she did. carolyn forced villanelle into the RID, and that was a situation villanelle was pretty complacent in for a while if only because it generally worked out for her. it took being backed into a corner to realize exactly how fucked she was, and interestingly enough i think that started to open villanelle’s eyes to the reality that she keeps ending up trapped by these higher powers, which is something that her canon update is going to heavily heavily emphasize. so. yeah, although while canon villanelle is mostly ambivalent to carolyn, denny villanelle absolutely HATES her. which. heh. may not end well. for at least one of them.

natasha is such a significant relationship for villanelle because i think, even with all the time she’s spent on denny and all the people she’s met? villanelle does not know... many people who are like her. most of her friends who know she’s an assassin either shy away from that part of her, or acknowledge it without really understanding what it means or what villanelle’s relationship is with killing and her own inner darkness. but natasha is such a PARALLEL to villanelle in so many ways, she was shaped into a weapon and told it’s the thing that defines her too, and even though she got out, she still has to grapple with that part of herself every single day. villanelle and natasha have their differences, sure, their variations in character and how their individual stories play out, but they also share a very specific understanding with one another that i don’t think either of them can really get anywhere else at the moment. and that’s a huge part of why nat has been such a significant influence on villanelle. when nat shows villanelle compassion, it comes from a deep, unfiltered place of empathy, something that could never be mistaken as Pity because they both understand what an insult that would be. when nat shows kindness and affection towards villanelle, it always seems to come from a place of “i understand the place you’re in completely, and you deserve to be treated like a human being anyway” which i think is so tragically ironic considering the self-loathing nat still carries around with her.

and i think there’s a part of villanelle that... while on denny she’s never expressed outward interest in completely changing her lifestyle or anything like that, i think there’s a part of her that looks at nat and admires how far she’s dug herself out of the hole she was in and, in some small quiet way, hopes to be like her someday.

pyrrha is pretty unique among the ruby girls in that like, rather than bonding with her gradually, villanelle kind of latched onto her immediately in a very “THIS IS TEAM RWBY’S DEAD LOVED ONE I MUST PROTECT HER” sort of way. which is interesting in its own way, because villanelle is rarely that protective of other people, and i think it goes beyond the physical (because she knows pyrrha can take care of herself) and more into the emotional. which villanelle does not especially consider herself well-equipped to handle, but hey, she’s gotta make sure pyrrha values herself beyond just what she can give or sacrifice to others!!!

on the subject, in terms of influence i have to mention that pyrrha gave her life for villanelle during the games, which is something that no one has ever done for her before, and an event which directly compelled villanelle to do the same for weiss. i don’t think villanelle knows how to even... address that, really, and can’t fully process the scope of it even though she made a similar decision in the end. in simplified terms, she feels like she owes pyrrha a debt, and one she hasn’t yet fathomed a way to repay.

elizabeth really just started out as a minor infatuation, a lil crush like villanelle gets on any pretty woman who intrigues her for more than 5 minutes. her flirtations with elizabeth were all in line with that, and i don’t think villanelle really realized how much she was encouraging elizabeth’s feelings for an attachment to her, particularly because her own feelings were not particularly intense for the first stretch of their friendship! in a way, villanelle’s relationship with elizabeth is a good examination and challenge of something i haven’t really done before with villanelle, which is that, like. it’s not her fault that she doesn’t bond or attach the way other people do (or at least, is much slower to), but she also has virtually no self-awareness of the way she engages and sometimes leads people on as a result. a lot could have been averted if she’d just... had the sense to set boundaries or had found a way to be more honest about the person she is.

but a lot’s happened since then, and now villanelle has to contend with the fact that she DOES love elizabeth, but at a time when their relationship has already just become too strained and impossible for the time being. additionally, villanelle really has no reference at all for being IN love with someone (or approaching that, anyway) in a way that’s non-obsessive and more quiet and gradual and just... very different from the way she loves eve, so she has a real hard time distinguishing this grey area between platonic and romantic feelings. because villanelle is still very literal in the interpretation of her emotions, so her reference for being in love with someone is “eve”, and she doesn’t know how to recognize anything on such a different part of the spectrum (particularly because villanelle is probably physically attracted to like, many of her platonic adult friends,)! SO elizabeth and villanelle’s relationship is very influential in the sense that it really pushes villanelle into exploring parts of herself and emotional experiences that she hasn’t really yet.

do i need to put cinder here? she wasn’t in villanelle’s life for very long, but technically she is the reason villanelle has maiden powers, which changed her life entirely, so,

and then i’ll also toss in jigsaw (and technically also handsome jack), who will be INCREDIBLY pleased to know that his trap had a lasting effect one way or the other. don’t get me wrong, she was pissed as hell about it and would go on the WARPATH if she ever caught so much as a whiff of their involvement, but i mean. aside from the fact that lasting trauma definitely counts as an influence, i think it is one of the events that definitely brought villanelle closer to and more attached to eve, if perhaps in a. somewhat codependent and overprotective way. still can’t believe they caught villanelle saying she would give up everything else in her life and die for her gf ON TAPE,

#fizzlep0p #tony genuinely this is an essay you dont need to feel obligated to read it all #or read it all in one sitting #BUT THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE EXCUSE TO GUSH ABOUT THESE DYNAMICS IVE LOVED SO MUCH #seriously this started out as a quick list of character names and then i wrote like 2 paragraphs for each of them #so feel free to look up your character (s) and then just nope out #cuts dennys lvad wire #long post /#i guess. because the cut will not fucking work the way its supposed to for some reason

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zanykingmentality · 5 years

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title: the ways we say i love you chapter: 1/1 fandom: avatar pairing: zutara notes: for @goldenclasp and @zutaraexchange summary:

but this is wartime, dearest. only a few make it out alive.

[ in which katara and zuko mend the breaks. ]

AO3

zuko knows a number of things, like the smell of early-morning dewdrops dripping from leaves, the crimson glow of a fire fueled by rage, and that he is irrevocably in love with a girl who wants nothing to do with him.

he’s learned to track animal prints, and how to distinguish them; he’s learned tears don’t always mean sadness, and eyes full of affection can turn into something so twisted, so brutal, so vicious.

his mother told him, once, that love is a choice. love is being together after quarreling and spitting angry words, and love is dangerous dance that neither ever learned the steps to. improvise, zuko, and you’ll make it. he’s not sure when it became less about love and more about heartbreak, or survival, but his mother has always had a way of making things fit.

when he was too selfish to listen or understand, his uncle told him love isn’t anything. pure love is unconditional and selfless; that’s all. he said love is something we define for ourselves.

zuko has never thought much of love. and, even if he had, he would have thought love was a distraction, or something he couldn’t ever achieve.

he never thought about the way it could feel to imagine someone’s fingers intertwined in his, someone’s life intertwined in his. until he does, dreaming beside a crackling fire, and the reality of it is like a slap in the face.

to a scarred boy with nothing to call his own, love is a daydream. love is a fantasy. it is not, was not, a reality.

love has no place in war.

(still, he remembers kindness and the feel of her cool fingers against his scar. he doesn’t let anyone touch it. but she did.

somehow it feels right, that it should be her. even though he knows it’s not.)

he shifts in the dark and stares at twinkling lights centuries above him. they sparkle despite everything; they are a constant in a world that has known only injustice for far too long.

and he starts to think, no, love isn't for him. maybe what he's mistaken as love is a reaction, a normal emotion stemming from a super-charged moment surrounded by crystals and loneliness. until he sees her again the next morning, and the glare she shoots him makes his heart unexpectedly pound in his chest.

he knows her narrowed eyes and piercing gaze like the back of his hand, by now. he knows her mistrust and doesn't blame her for it.

but he also knows her soft smile when she cares, the fluid movements of her arms when she waterbends, the way she sleeps without moving, like she's ready to spring into battle at the slightest noise. he knows the ever-present fear in the back of her eyes, and how her expression is almost always guarded and unreadable.

this is wartime, and she was not born a soldier, but she was forced to be one. he knows he had a hand in that.

he has many regrets. but he will make them right again.

ii.

katara doesn’t expect zuko to understand. it was his people that took her mother away; how would he know that any kindness she offered him was like disrespecting the circumstances of her mother’s death? she extended to him an olive branch, once, and it turned out to be the worst mistake she’s made. to put trust in someone who rips it apart. to try to help someone who tears her apart.

she ignores his eyes over the fire. the temple is cold and drafty, and she knows zuko is warm, but she’s entirely unwilling to meet him with anything but scorn.

deep within her, she still feels some kind of call to him, some kind of siren song that pulls her toward him. it makes her body tingle with rage and something she doesn’t want to name, something that makes the anger in her even greater. katara tries her best to be a calm and parenting figure, but zuko… zuko.

so she’s surprised when he comes back with suki in tow. she’s surprised he didn’t sell her brother over to the highest bidder at the first possible chance. it’s not enough to trust him yet, but enough to make her think. she’s even more surprised when he helps sneak her out to the general who’d had her mom killed.

even more so when zuko stands back and lets her decide if she should kill. if blood should be on her hands, too. she drops the water around her and turns back to zuko, ready for the day-long flight ahead of them.

this is when she begins trusting him again.

she lets him help her collect food and water and overlooks the way his hand accidentally brushes hers as they walk. she’s not ready for the idea of it being intentional yet.

if zuko is a star she is the rest of night: inky darkness and silvery moonlight. she decides she doesn’t mind it so much.

iii.

being friends with katara is nothing like zuko imagined it would be. then again, he wouldn't let himself indulge in those kinds of fantasies much before he actually re-earned her trust; no point in entertaining thoughts that went straight to the pangs in his heart, anyway. they both wake early and sleep late, careful of the rise and fall of moonshine and sunlight, like a dance they tiptoe around together. they spar sometimes at night and in the morning, and they're evenly matched, depending on the time of day.

she opens up to him slowly. first it's a thank-you for helping her find closure. then it's the feel of her hand in his on appa’s back. as romantic as it feels to zuko, it's not meant like that; he knows it's katara’s way of being supportive, of understanding that he's left everything behind for their motley crew of teenagers and a cause to destroy the father he once wished could love. he doesn’t try to read between the lines of her palm.

he could, though. he could torture himself like that. he could let his dreams run away from him and imagine too much too early. she’s not obligated to like him at all, zuko feels lucky every time she doesn’t forcibly oust him from camp ━

then he jolts awake with the ghost of lips on his. his traitorous subconscious shows him scenes he can only wish become real.

by the time they’re safely on ember island, zuko’s hope has been only slightly rekindled. the girl-turned-warrior he’s fallen in love with still has a soft streak to her, like low tide, such a contrast from her sharp ice-rain. that morning after he’s tossed and turned for hours, he finally sits up. katara looks over at him.

“feeling alright?” she asks.

zuko rubs his head. “yeah, i think.”

she’s already finished making breakfast, is sharpening knives of ice using a rigid stone. the small smile on her fast juxtaposes the violent scraping of rock on ice.

“you look like you haven’t slept,” katara observes.

“i was thinking,” zuko says.

“penny for your thoughts?”

zuko stands and sits next to her on the steps, resting his elbows on his knees. “i just… i have my doubts. who knows how all this is going to end.”

katara nods but says nothing, pausing mid-scrape. she drops her tools and takes zuko’s hand, reassuring in her calm, steady grip. nothing like his hands that tremble as he combs them through his short hair. they sit for a while, resting, until the others wake up.

iv.

the ember island players are arguably the best part of their time on the island, but that’s not saying much. there was only one thing that the play got right: growing feelings, at least on zuko’s part. as they trudge back to camp, he can’t help but notice more acutely the slope of katara’s shoulders, the way she ushers them all along, the mother hen of the group.

he notices, over the next few days, the soft smiles that come to her face when she’s content, the stressed furrow of her brows, the slight downturn of her unimpressed mouth. he notices her mouth a lot.

but they are warriors, bred to hurt and kill, taught by powers beyond their control to hate and fight and never surrender. zuko only learns the true meaning of surrender when she stares into his eyes for a brief moment, affection in the undertones of her stunning blue eyes.

they’re alone one night when zuko finally begins to break. he looks at her lips for a beat too long, and katara notices. he’s afraid she’ll pull away from him immediately, terminate the friendship they’ve been growing ever since the abandoned air temple ━ but she doesn’t. katara’s eyes flit down over his mouth, his chest, back up to his eyes. she smirks like a challenge.

“is it okay,” zuko asks, “if i kiss you?”

“i was starting to think you’d never ask,” katara murmurs.

for once, zuko does not hesitate. he presses his mouth to hers quickly; heat overcomes the simmering fire in his veins, and he feels the cool touch of her water when she reaches up and splays her fingers along his cheek. he pulls her toward him with an arm around her waist, reveling in this, the intoxicating, beautiful feel of katara and zuko.

when all is said and done, they move to the fire nation. katara wanders with wide eyes around peacetime festivals, no longer trying to reconcile the three versions of the fire nation she now knows: a band of cruel murders, a desolate people in search of hope, and a rowdy crowd filled to the brim with enthusiasm.

zuko links his arm through hers and pulls her toward a stand selling strange, blue drinks for a coin a cup. in the time that comes, he will be passing laws and treaties and orders to get the fire nation back on his feet. but zuko knows, he will not be alone. he takes a sip of sparkling blue magic and looks at the girl at his side, dressed now in red with the stab of her blue eyes. he sees katara and she sees him.

some say the love between them could only have lasted during the war. when they were both soldiers, fighting for the same cause. but zuko and katara both agree ━ the real story starts here.

#avatar #atla #zutara #avatar: the last airbender #prince zuko #katara #zuko/katara #the pair of my heart #i'm unsure how much i like this but i had fun writing it #frost writes

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sapphicscholar · 5 years

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Pride Month Prompts Day 7: Underground (SuperLane)

From this Pride Month Prompts post! I’m taking the opportunity to write some short fics for a variety of pairings that I haven’t written for as much, maybe at all. They won’t be going on AO3, so I’ll be sure to tag them all with #pride month prompts so you can find them later if you want.

Day 7: Underground

Pairing: SuperLane (Kara/Lucy) - another new one! (Set after Manhunter)

Perhaps taking off the helmets had been a bad idea. Scratch that: it was definitely a bad idea. But Kara had wanted to see Alex, had wanted Alex to know that she would always come for her, even if it meant stealing DEO property, shooting down a truck owned by the U.S. government, and freeing two supposed criminals being hauled away for treason. And seeing Alex’s reaction when she realized that Lucy had switched sides for them was pretty great too.

For a while, it seemed as if everything had gone fine. J’onn and Alex took off on the bikes, Kara flew Lucy back to the base, and they both acted surprised by the news of the escape (and were genuinely surprised by the news of Lucy’s promotion).

Neither of them took into account the fact that a vehicle headed for Cadmus would likely be equipped with multiple cameras sending live feed footage back to the military.

The following morning, a heavily armed squad showed up to arrest them both, and it was only Kara’s super hearing that gave her the extra few seconds she needed to swoop Lucy up in her arms and fly them both far away from the DEO and the military officials toting guns loaded with kryptonite-laced bullets.

Within a day, they’d gone completely underground. Kara was opposed to stealing, but she’d swept through stores faster than anyone could see, throwing money onto the counter in her wake. That was how they’d acquired a stockpile of food, new clothing, wigs for going out, and two burner phones that were being saved for an emergency. She’d also grabbed a few bottles of wine for Lucy, who had only recently reconciled herself to the idea of breaking the law and was looking a bit pale as the realization that she was a now a wanted fugitive with her own father hot on her heels sunk in.

On day 5, Kara finally got up the courage to apologize. “If I hadn’t...I should’ve made sure that we stayed covered, checked for any cameras.”

“It’s Cadmus, Kara. I’m sure they were livestreaming the footage.”

“Still. I could have kept them from knowing you were the person under the other helmet.”

But Lucy shook her head, rubbing at her temples before draining the rest of her plastic cup of wine. “Long term, this is the decision I’m proud of. I’ve pushed down a lot over the years, but I don’t think even a lifetime of practice at repressing shit would have been enough to keep away the guilt if I’d sent your sister and J’onn off to be tortured at Cadmus.” She refilled her cup, frowning when the rest of the bottle only brought it up to two-thirds full. “So really, I’m the one that should be apologizing. You just pulled my head out of my ass long enough to see that I wasn’t living the kind of life I could be proud of.”

“Hey, no, I’m sure you’ve done some amazing things.”

Lucy snorted, something dark flashing across her features as her face twisted in disgust. “Like what? Break my ex’s heart because I’d rather hurt her...hurt us both, than risk a dishonorable discharge? Side with my father even as he got more and more bigoted just because every so often he’d pat me on the shoulder and tell me I made him proud? Come flying across the country to restart things with a guy only to break up with him all over again?”

“We’ve all done things we regretted. I’m pretty sure the whole world saw some of my worst choices splashed across newspapers and broadcast internationally just a few weeks ago.” She really wished wine did anything for her; it’d be nice to have something to dull the pain of the too fresh memories. “I also know a little bit about not wanting to believe that a parent could be so wrong about something, about waiting too late to realize there are two sides to every story.” She swallowed the tears that threatened to fall. “But Lucy? You’ve done a lot of things to be proud of.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. It’s hard to believe it these days.”

In a split second, Kara decided to start listing things, as many as she could think of, anything to make that look of sadness, of self-loathing disappear. “You’re a freakin’ major in the Army, which means, like, a lot of people have recognized what a badass you are. And you have grad degrees from Harvard. And you’re super great at Taboo and Charades and Pictionary. And you were willing to put everything on the line once you’d realized you’d made a mistake, which is almost better than just never making mistakes. Because you care, you cared enough to fix it.” She took a deep breath in. “Also you offer great legal advice. And those cookies you made for game night were so good; I ate half of them when you weren’t looking. And you won over Cat Grant in, like, two seconds flat, which, let me tell you, isn’t easy! And you always smell really nice, even at the end of the day, and you’ve got such great hair, like seriously great hair.”

Lucy looked over at her, some emotion swirling in her eyes that Kara didn’t recognize. “You know that the things you did while drugged don’t magically undo all the good you’ve done for the world, right?”

“Oh please, weren’t you the one saying Supergirl didn’t exactly measure up to expectations?”

Lucy ducked her head. “Might have had a bit more to do with jealousy than anything else.”

Kara’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Jealousy?” Lucy had the guy and the job and Cat’s attention. What could she have been jealous of?

“Seriously? You have superpowers, Kara. And a sister who would do anything for you, and this whole group of friends who adore you. Even when James was talking about finding apartments with me to really make things work, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. And, to make it all worse, I couldn’t even blame him because you’re fucking gorgeous!” With a huff of bitter laughter, Lucy pulled herself to her feet, swaying slightly—the first sign that the bottle of wine might have affected her. “I should… Night, Kara.”

---

After that night, things seemed easier between them. The guilt and apologies and bad memories had been excised, leaving room for something new to grow between them. Slowly but surely, they began opening up, sharing stories of growing up and years in school and awkward dates. Kara talked about the things she’d had the hardest time getting used to on Earth, and Lucy admitted that she hadn’t thought about how difficult it must be for aliens. She’d moved a lot as an Army brat, having to switch schools constantly, but even during the awkwardness of middle school, at least she’d always known how to speak the language, had a vague sense of what social life would be like, knew what would be taught in her classes and the kinds of clubs that would be offered.

One night, after a glass or two of wine, Lucy opened up to Kara about coming out, not that she’d had too many people in her life she’d been able to tell. Kara admitted that she hadn’t realized it was such a big deal on Earth until she’d asked Alex if she was courting her best friend Vicki and been swiftly and promptly kicked out of their shared bedroom for hours, not let back in until Eliza had demanded that Alex unlock the door for bedtime.

---

On day 18, they woke up to news that all of National City’s residents had been turned into automatons with the exception of Max Lord, who’d published statements about alien threats and how proud he was to be a human who had prepared for this, who had known from the beginning not to trust them, and Cat Grant, who’d posted a very public call for Supergirl to return from hiding and a plea that the government grant her amnesty.

“You’re going, aren’t you?” Lucy asked.

“I have to. National City...no matter what happened or how many people have decided I belong in prison, it’s still my city. They’re still the people I’ve sworn to protect.”

“Be safe.”

“I will.”

“I mean it. I”—Lucy swallowed heavily as she reached out a hand, grabbing one of Kara’s and holding it tight enough for her to feel it—“I want you to come back to me alive.”

And there it was again, that frisson of something that had been crackling between them for so many days now. Only this time Kara didn’t mumble a quick “goodnight” and speed off to her corner of the decrepit old cabin they’d moved into after the first week. Instead, she held Lucy’s gaze and raised a hand to Lucy’s face, sweeping her thumb across Lucy’s cheekbone. “I promise.”

Lucy was the one to lean forward, but Kara wasn’t sure who it was that actually started the kiss. All she knew was that there were soft, warm lips pressed against her own, and if she’d thought she wanted to date Lucy before because she smelled amazing, well, now she knew she wanted to date Lucy and for so many more reasons. But eventually, the reality of everything happening in National City, the hurried phone calls to J’onn and Alex, the continued broadcasts being sent out by Cat, all caught up to them.

“If you can find a way for me to come back within city limits, you’ll call?” Lucy gestured at their one safe burner phone left, and Kara nodded.

A few moments later, they heard the soft thud outside the door that signalled J’onn and Alex’s arrival.

“I should be fighting by your side,” Alex was already arguing as she and J’onn made their way inside.

“I won’t be able to stay focused if I’m shielding your mind.”

“I swear, if we can get into the DEO and get our hands on your prototypes, we’ll be back in an instant, okay?” Kara promised.

“Fine. In the meantime, I’m trying to see if I can’t bypass some DEO security protocols while everyone there is out of commission. I can only imagine that Non is going to want some of our prisoners back, so I’ll try to secure the system from external interference.”

While J’onn was busy talking to Alex, Lucy squeezed Kara’s hand again. “Come back, alright? We’ve got a kiss to finish.”

Kara grinned. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

#pride month prompts #superlane #kara danvers #lucy lane #fanfic #ficlet #slight angst #supergirl

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calliecat93 · 5 years

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Top 5 Things That I Liked About RvB: Singularity

(Top 5 Dislikes Post Link)

Being negative sucks. A lot. I always hate typing the Dislikes post. It helps me vent, but I just hate talking about the bad stuff. But there were things that I felt were worth talking about, so I did it. Good news though? It’s now out of the way! So now we can talk about the Top 5 Things I Liked About RvB Singularity! Hooray!

As I said, I don’t think that RvB17 is as good as 16 or even 15. But it’s still a good season. It had a lot of things that I enjoyed and still enjoyed during the rewatch. While it is important to note how a season failed, it’s just as important to note how it succeeded. You want to remember what went right so that you don’t lose sight of what made it enjoyable and continue to make it better. As such, this is what I liked about the season! And again, just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.

__________________

#5. Pacing Improvements

My biggest problem with both S15 and 16 where their pacing. S15 was a one-shot season, and as such was very rushed even with a 21 episode count. S16 started very quickly and kicked the plot off within two episodes… but doesn't really delve back into it until Episode 13, eleven episodes later. I still love both seasons for what they had and I do think that S16 had a good reason for being slower, but to say that it turned fans off is an understatement. It was a huge issue and clearly one that needed to be fixed.

S17 did much better in this regard. Despite me listing the episode count as the thing I disliked most, it DOES have the advantage of not having to add as much filler/padding and being able to focus on what needs it. The first half of the season was by far the best. It got into the plot quickly. But it never felt rushed or like it was over-compensating. The build-up from S16 did enough that there was no need to drag out anything. We could leap right in and get to the parts that we wanted to see. As such, I felt engaged with each episode and each episode always provided something new and exciting. Even with my feelings about the second half, I never got bored and the episodes still continued to provide something new and unexpected. It’s a sign of good writing which I thought that Jason did well with, especially considering he had to take over in the middle of a story when Joe walked. Miles was there too and we know that he’s good, but it was Jason mainly, and he did fantastic.

Ultimately, due to the pacing, the season accomplished what it set out to do. It was a fun, if mind-breaking, time travel story. It had Donut become a more three-dimensional character. It had Wash and Carolina reconcile and accept what had to be done. And all without feeling like it was taking too long or like it was cramming in too much… aside from Episodes 7 and 8. Which is why it’s at Number 5, the pacing DID go back to feeling rushed and crammed in the second half ala S15. Only this time, they crammed it into six episodes instead of 21. As such, while I was still entertained and the writing and emotions were still solid, the second half is weaker and much more frustrating as a result. Still, it was a marked improvement and I can’t say that I was ever bored or disengaged. So credit where credit is due!

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#4. The Labyrinth/character insights

I LOVE The Labyrinth! Ever since it was mentioned in S16, I was excited for it, and it did not disappoint! It is, essentially, an angst machine. When you are stuck in it, it tortures you with all of your fears, doubts, guilt. Worst, it adapts and learns, so even if you get past one scenario, it’ll just find something else. The way that it attacks can also differ. Sometimes it makes you face your past self. Sometime sit plays on your insecurities. Sometimes it gives you what you wish for, but with a dark twist. Whatever it can do to make you suffer to the point that you fall into the Black Hole, whether by choice or forced into it, it’ll do.

This concept is frekain’ fantastic. I love it! So why is it at Number 4? Well, first of all, we only get two episodes of it. Which don’t get me wrong, I loved what we got. Some were pretty straightforward and obvious, like Tucker and Wash’s scenarios. I didn’t agree with all of them, which is another reason why it’s Number 4. Grif’s, while I got over it, I think could have been much stronger, Tucker’s while not bad I think needed something more fitting, and Simmons… well, we all know how I feel about that one. Also not sure why Doc and Donut weren’t affected at all aside from timing dictating that they couldn’t go into it. Honestly, I think that The Labyrinth should have been the main setting and had everyone trapped in their worst scenario or memory instead of The Everwhen. But that’s just me. But yeah, I feel that it wasn't used to its full potential and not all of the scenarios were ideal, so it’s at Number Four.

That being said, I did enjoy what we got. My two favorites were Sarge’s and Carolina's. Sarge’s was still humorous, but also insightful. He hated the desk job one and wanted something more bloody and war-like. He got his wish, and immediately regretted it. He can't handle civilian life, but he can’t handle true brutal war either. I don’t get how they managed to do the ‘funny but insightful’ thing correctly with Sarge but dropped the ball so badly with Simmons, but whatever. It was really great. And Carolina’s… do I need to elaborate on it? We see her confronting the manifestation of her hate and guilt. It tries to break her down, but Carolina fights back. She has her friends. She found a new family, and she won’t let the ghosts of the past haunt her anymore. It was fantastic and shows just how far Carolina has come… and hopefully, it ended her constant guilt trips for sure. Seriously, please give Carolina something happy next season. She’s earned it. And The AVatar himself was enjoyable despite his brief screentime. I liked him!

There is one more scenario that I want to get into, but… how about we go to the next number for that one?

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#3. Kaikaina’s Labyrinth/Grif Sibs Moment

If you read my Dislikes post, you know that I was NOT happy about how Grif was handled. Heck, ‘not happy’ is probably an understatement. But I also said that the finale DID make me happy. Now I’ve already talked about how I feel about Grif regarding this scene and the retcon about him enlisting over being drafted. Long story short, I like this better and it makes sense for his character, especially when you look back at S15. It still doesn't excuse how the rest of the season handled him, but they got it right here and I like to give credit when it’s due. You can read this post to see more of my thoughts, but yeah I loved it then and I still love it now.

So instead, let's talk about Kaikaina. Boy, have I had a rollercoaster journey with her. I went from finding her utterly pointless in Blood Gulch, to loving her with all my heart in S16 and this season. She existed essentially to have more sex jokes, but Joe and Jason managed to take her and make her so much more. She’s still sex-crazed and foul-mouthed, but she’s also a successful businesswoman who is confident, happy with who she is, and has a good level of emotional maturity. It’s why I loved her and Tucker last season and why I LOVED it when she told off Tucker (no matter what you think of Tucker in that season, he had it coming). S17 even had her actually referred to by her actual name and not just ‘Sister’, which I greatly appreciate.

Point is, these past two seasons did an amazing job at making Kai a character in her own right and like a true member of the BGC. And when it comes to her Labyrinth, it adds so much more. We often focus on Grif’s side of things… but think about poor Kai. Her dad is out of the picture, her mom was too busy despite favoriting her over Grif, she had to be raised by an older brother who probably wasn't fit to care for a young girl despite trying his damnest, and honestly she probably was left to fend for herself a great deal. Then when Grif went to college and them ‘was drafted’, she was even more alone with an irresponsible mother who decided that trusting a teenage girl with changing a smoke alarm was a great idea. How the fire started, whether Kai did it on accident or it was just bad luck, is up in the air but it happened and poor Kai blamed herself for it. She lost her home. Her mother had to live in a trailer park, which she clearly feels terrible about. Her brother wasn't there to comfort or help her. She was utterly alone. I mean remember, she enlisted just because she wanted to be with her brother again. The one good person in her life… and even then not only did he tell her to leave, but she got shafted off to the opposite team by him. Even if it was for her own safety, that had to hurt.

The Labyrinth really helped to show that side of Kai. The more vulnerable side that we hadn’t seen yet. She sounds much more like a child when she sadly recalls what happened to Grif. Which we then realize her actual fear, her brother hating her. The brother that she went into space to find and be with and who she loved unconditionally, even when she was left alone on Blood Gulch, blamed and hated her. It’s why Grif knocking the Avatar out was so satisfying, as well as him confessing. Kai had every right to be angry at him, and going off her ’Hey, you left!” comment, there is clearly some bitterness there. But even then, she loves her brother. She forgives him. I can imagine her yelling at him later when they do eventually talk, and she has every right to. Still, it’s a super sweet moment that does a lot for both characters. I mean Grif’s first instinct when Donut explained the situation was to go and find Kai out of fear for her safety. I’m a sucker for sibling stories, and they nailed it here.

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#2. Wash and Carolina Plotline

Now, as I’ve said in other posts, I’m not a huge Freelancer fan. And tbh, I was pretty happy that Wash and Carolina were more lowkey in the past two seasons because every since their respective intros, everything more or less revolved around them. That being said, the development of Wash having cerebral hypoxia due to the bullet wound and Carolina’s actions after really did appeal to me both for personal reasons and because it was a new angle within the story. The ending with them in S16, where Wash was angry at Carolina for lying to him and her being so desperate to make it right that she and the others broke time, was dramatic and made it clear that there was a lot between them that S17 was going to have to work through.

And they did it perfectly.

Wash’s anger at Carolina is 100% understandable. He had /brain damage/ and was lied to about it by his closest friend. But it’s not like Carolina did it out of maliciousness. She did it out of fear of Wash thinking that he was broken and didn’t want him to be hurt. It was still wrong, but it’s easy to see why she went down that route and sympathize with her. With both of them. And neither one are portrayed as right or wrong in their actions. Yes, Carolina made a HUGE mistake and deciding to save him did much more harm than good. But she did it because she loved Wash (imo platonically) and she wanted to spare him of any more pain and misery, no matter the consequence. Wash had every right to be angry at Carolina for lying, but it wasn’t good to hold onto that anger nor be unwilling to ever forgive Carolina without taking her side of it into account.

This is what made the first half so strong. Despite what happened, Wash is still willing to save Carolina and the others. Despite obviously not wanting to be brain-damaged, he knows that time being fixed was more important and he’s willing to make that sacrifice. And as much as I’m tired of the ‘Carolina did something horrible and feels guilty about it’ plot that the writers just LOVE to use (I get that the pst has consequences, but it’s gotten old), it worked for this story and you do truly feel that Carolina had nothing but good intentions and cares deeply about Wash. I mean chances are, she’s still learning how to properly handle personal situations like this, something that facing her past self in the Labyrinth I think helped highlight. Even now, her past still haunted her, and now she’s finally realized that she isn’t that person anymore, has a new family to fight for, and pushing the past away for good.

And going back to Wash, I’ve seen some people unhappy with the show deciding to keep his brain damage. I have to disagree. For one, if you’re going to do a story like this, don’t chicken out. Second… why is this a bad thing? I think that S17 perfectly demonstrated that Wash is NOT a broken man. Sure, at that time his brain damage was temporarily averted, but he showed that he’s still a strong character. He’s a good leader, a smart fighter, cares for his team and will do whatever it takes to protect them, and he perfectly held his own throughout the entire fiasco. Yes, he’s going to struggle. A lot. He knows it. But he’s still Wash. He’s still capable of being the person that he’s grown to be, just with a little more help. That is not at all a bad thing. He can get through this. Will it be easy? Hell no. But after all the other bullshit that he’s been through, I think that he proved that he can pull through it. Honestly, I respect him much more as a character now than I ever did before, and as long as they treat his condition respectfully, he will be fine going forward.

This story really showed how much that Wash and Carolina have grown since everything with Freelancer wrapped up, as well as how much their relationship as grown. I don’t ship them, but it’s clear that there is a strong trust and love between them after all that they went through and this story tested that. Even when amnesic, Carolina trusted Wash and didn’t question it despite she herself pointing out that she shouldn’t be feeling that way. Wash ultimately decides to forgive Carolina and put his trust in her again, even pulling her aside to talk to her about what has to happen and how he’s accepted it. There are certainly still going to be struggles as Wash still has to deal with his cerebral hypoxia and all the consequences that come with it. S18 is probably NOT going to be fun for him. But this time, he has proper support and this time, Carolina will be honest and help him through it. And while I hope that other characters are given some spotlight, I’m excited to see what’s in store for these two in the future.

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Honorable Mentions

These are things that I enjoyed, but I either don’t have a lot to say or weren’t as important as other things.

Machinima: Very well directed, especially considering how many different Halo’s that they had to use. Josh and Austin nailed it.

Animation: Good as always, even if more sparse

Voice Acting: Amazing as always with special mention to Dan Godwin, Shannon McCormick, Jen Brown, Ricco Fajardo, and Lee Eddy.

Huggins Lives: While I hate how they treated her character, I’m still happy that this ball of sunshine is alive and well.

Caboose Beating Up Genkins: So, SOOOO satisfying!

Carolina vs Carolina: Such a badass fight! Didn’t find it as good as the Donut vs O’Malley fight last year, but it was still freakin’ awesome and I loved it!

Tucker in Episode 9: While I strongly disagree that Tucker was poorly done in S16 and I personally don’t think that this was necessary, it’s still a nice scene that brings it all back around and has Tucker remember what being a leader truly means.

Memory Lane: It was nice to see some of the old moments again. I may hate nostalgia banking, but they did it better than most and it had a purpose, so I’m good with it!

The Villains: Genkins was such a delightfully vile but fun villain and I hate yet love him so much! Same with Chrovos, who was such a boastful and over-dramatic but charismatic villain. Plus Lee Eddy. Loved them and while it still hurts my brain, the finale twist was superb.

Funeral Cannon: Enough said.

Okay, I think that’s it. Now we can move onto Number One. And from the moment that I began planning these lists out, I knew that this was going to be at the top. So without further ado!

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#1. Donut FINALLY Became A Character

If you read my Top 5 Things I Liked About RvB: The Shisno Paradox, you recall that I said that Donut used to be my least favorite among the Reds and Blues because, imo, he served no purpose up to that point. Then S16 happened, and i FINALLY began to see value in his character again and he shot up multiple spots. I knew that S17 was probably going to address more with him since S16 was more of a build up… and holy shit, they exceeded my expectations.

Donut finally got to show how good of a character that he can be. He realized his flaws, like his innuendo spewing and how he can’t get anyone to listen to him. He showed some of the early competency he demonstrated in Blood Gulch and how when actually given the chance, he can be smart and useful. He also displays a huge amount of emotional maturity with how he pointed out to Wash that Carolina literally broke time for him and how despite being angry at the Reds and Blues for treating him like garbage over the years, he still puts the mission first and doesn't allow the anger to control him. The only time that he lets it overcome him in Episode 7… and he had VERY good reason to since Sarge was threatening to execute him (aka being a HUGE hypocrite /points to S15/) and was overall still being disrespected despite going through time to save them all. His rant at them was very much warranted and years in the making and as someone who has felt disrespected and ignored by my friends and family, it felt SO cathartic.

Joe clearly wanted to give Donut more attention in S16, especially since him being majorly underutilized was a big complaint about S15. He perfectly wrote up the blueprints, and Jason perfectly built the structure. I do have some concerns. Like the season had EVERYTHING revolve around Donut. Like the Reds and Blues were Damsels in Distresses for like… 90% of it and Donut had to keep saving them, and I don’t want that to keep being a thing. It’s pushing God Mode too much and Donut is still a flawed person who can still slip up, be TMI, and be a naive idiot. But we’ll have to see how S18 plays out… except… maybe not…

What do I mean? If you recall, at the end of S17 Donut decided to leave. Which you know what? Good. Not because I want him to go, but after all of this, he earned it. I’m still not convinced that the Reds and blues apology in Episode 8 was genuine because of how fast it was, plus Donut went through enough shit just for them. I think that him getting away for a while and worrying about himself for once is the perfect next step for his character and unlike the other times where Donut was gone, maybe we’ll actually get to see how the characters deal with it, especially after how this season went. Only time will tell, but I think that this was a good way to end Donut’s arc. IDK what they’ll do with him next or if we’ll be seeing him anytime soon, but for now? Good job writers!

Also, Donut embraced being Pink. Hell yes!

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S17 was one Hell of a season. A lot of its flaws frustrate me. Like… really frustrate me. But it still had a lot of good. It had good character development. It had good ideas. It was really funny and knew when to be emotional. It’d pacing… well, it wasn't perfect, but I’ve seen worse. And the characters, despite me having issues, still felt like the characters and I was still happy to see them all again. I’m still going through RvB withdrawal. 2020, hurry up!

So yeah, those are my Top 5 Things That I Liked About RvB: Singularity. A season that, despite the flaws, I still love. It was nice to revisit this one, even if it wasn’t that long ago. As I said, I have plans for what to do when S18 approaches since I did these posts earlier than normal. But we’ll worry about that then. For now, thank you all for reading! Catch you all later!

#rvb #rvb reviews

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analytic-chaoticism · 5 years

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Who’s Going To Die In The Homestuck Epilogue Tomorrow?

Homestuck is finally ending for real now so, obviously, somebody is staring down the barrel of Hussie’s final Chekhov’s gun, except also for real now. After 10 years, the shed wall has more bullet holes than wood knots and the proverbial horse stands dutifully awaiting the next shot in a series of hundreds, but it might actually get put out of its misery forever this time, with John and Vriska - in my mind - the most obvious candidates for permadeath. I’ll briefly discuss the (de)merits of both outcomes - and how both could (maybe, hopefully, please?) be averted - under the cut.

For context, I’m assuming that John will meet Terezi and Vriska at the Green Sun/Black Hole before he goes gallivanting with them through time and space.

We’ve known John Egbert for 10 years and for all the characters and perspective switching we’ve done since 4/13/2009, he is our protagonist. Homestuck is a story about breaking free from fated suffering - the will of Lord English - and becoming an independent agent, so it should only make sense that the main character is an embodiment of that freedom: the Heir of Breath.

It’s for this reason that John dying forever at the end of it all - having survived the death of his dad, an omnicidal dog god, the reset of reality, misadventure in the bubbles, a solo retcon journey through Paradox Space, a fight with Caliborn and another on the horizon, killing the Condesce, and making it to Earth C - would be really bad narratively and philosophically! There are no merits! Let’s go over why it Just Won’t Happen.

1. As the quintessential bildungsroman character (a story requiring the survival of its protagonist to gain experience of the world, find their place in it, and mature with hope for the future) and audience surrogate, killing him in the final act would just be bad writing. It goes against the story’s holistic narrative and philosophical arc and totally undermines Act 7 thematically.

2. In a story about overcoming fated suffering, the depressed character with the most repressed trauma - who represents freedom and is working to help everyone escape that suffering - dying without coming to terms with sadness and reconciling with his friends and purpose to find happniness? It’s even worse writing. The only possible merit to his death is having to directly confront that trauma in a super sadstuck way; what stakes will it take for him to overcome his disaffected ennui, right? But killing him is a real shitty way of dealing with those problems. Dying with regret is just... super lame. It could be said many characters die with possible regret in HS but if a character doesn’t at some point get revived in one way or another and their death served a purpose, then, on word of God, they just weren’t that important.

3. It defies the narrative of fantastical escapism. At one of its many cores, Homestuck is a story about kids playing a crazy game about wish fulfillment: bringing the dead back to life, meeting their friends, having an adventure, and becoming super heroes. As the Heir of Breath, especially with the retcon powers, John is ALL ABOUT fantastical escapism. John dying for suffering, subverting escapism, is 100% counterintuitive thematically. Super unsatisfying conclusion to his arc.

4. People cite this scene with Scratch as evidence that John is going to have a permanent heroic death one day, but I would argue that the metaphysical way in which John would permanently be tying himself to the narrative to ‘maintain canonicity’ (whatever the FUCK that entails) would be a little bit more than a Just or Heroic thing. For me, this was more about Scratch acknowledging John as - though not infallible personally - a totally good guy. And note that reference to Vriska and her ‘Justness’ at the end there:

Instead, I imagine the whole situation, despite the seeming distinction between Meat and Candy, COULD go something a little more like this -

A story that is just meat - dense with exposition, action, violence, and tension (plotcentric) - is bad, and a story that is just candy - light with fluff, fanservice, frivolity, and comfort (charactercentric) - is bad. In isolation neither is of consequence to the reader, and reader investment is what this whole epilogue and the quest to avoid ‘dissipation’ is about. You need both to develop the other in a healthy and satisfying way, ultimately producing a well-developed set of characters. Homestuck is the best story of all time and it’s been meat and candy all the way, I don’t foresee that changing. For me, the ‘dual epilogue’ is a 1+1=3 situation. Typheus’ choice for John here was a practice for a metacosmic-scale third option regarding the meat/candy ‘binary’ he’s faced with now.

The whole story, John - though he represents freedom - has never made his own choice besides in this moment. He’s gone on quests for prophets, just like he’s doing now, and done whatever people told him or expected him to do. Becoming a free agent is the capstone of his character arc and what better way to realize that than assuming control of the narrative and Doing Whatever You Want For Real - the Ultimate Riddle (as many people theorize) which I imagine we’ll see more of soon being ‘do as you will.’

But let’s imagine that John does become in every way a martyr for the narrative itself in a Christ-like sacrifice befitting of the Easter Sunday I will probably be reading this upd8 on. How could he get out of it because, trust me, John Is Not Dying Forever:

Transcendence. We’ve descended and ascended, so what comes next?

Juju nonsense. The house or something else, who knows?

Denizen nonsense. I’ll get into this in a second.

A second John takes his place and we get ours back. ‘2 endings,’ right?

The Ultimate Self is gearing up to be important. It’s Jesus 101 people.

So I’m expecting Abraxas, Jake and possibly Karkat’s denizen, to make a significant appearance in the epilogue. The epilogue itself, as the rest of the story, is geared up (with it’s black and white symbolism) to basically revolve around the cherubs which I fully expect to get more lore on. As @revolutionaryduelist details in this video, Abraxas is “technically at the center of Paradox Space, as a deity that represents both everything in the multiverse that exists ever both physically and conceptually,and the very process which leads to the creation of those things.” Abraxas is, as the true god in enlightenment, the opposite of Yaldabaoth, the false god in ignorance: more relevant, truthful, and essential as a deity - representing the 3 pillars of canon. Yaldabaoth was Caliborn’s denizen, giving him the clock and juju he required to assume ultimate power in the first place. It makes sense that Abraxas would have a hand in his undoing. Abraxas also shares a connection with the cherubs physically and metaphorically, and considering the importance of the cherubs, I think it’s safe to assume this similarity will become relevant. In this way, Abraxas could Just Get Up To Some Nonsense to save John (who is related to Typheus, a potentially Christ-like figure within the denizen genealogy as John is to the story). Resurrection of Christ anybody? Our snakey parent who art above Paradox Space? As somebody connected to magic, it also makes sense that Abraxas could pull off the miracle of the century if needs be.

All in all, John’s not dying. So what about...

Vriska?

Vriska dying forever is almost ALL merits. This is NOT because I hate Vriska: she is one of the best characters ever written, has never done anything wrong, if she dies I will weep, and I NEED Vrisrezi to become Earth C endgame, but I can’t deny the narrative quality of a potential sacrifice.

Vriska has never had direct karmic comeuppance for anything she’s done besides Make Her Pay and getting killed by Terezi: all other forms of punishment for her actions were either problems with self-hatred or people she cares about suffering - there’s been little direct consequential action taken against her. Even when She’s 8ack with a second chance she gets to dominate and bully others and still be the leader. And look at what she did to Tavros. That was just mean (but will hopefully be relevant in the epilogue because I love GCATavros oops). Her character is also marred in the emulation of Mindfang, and being an inauthentic individual is a Great Crime in Paradox Space which you could say she has been punished for but we can always squeeze a few more drops out of the cloth. Key to understanding Vriska is knowing that she has little ill will. She said herself, she wants to be a hero. That’s why she’s obsessed with becoming the Most Important Person. She wants to save everyone. It just so happens this conflicts with her selfishness (coming in parts from Spidermom, Mindfang, and her caste) which sweeps people up as collateral damage. The important thing is that she feels really guilty about losing control to her ego/persona and hurting people.

And she turns to John for absolution. For freedom from her circumstance and misery.

EB: i guess i had no idea how different we really were.

EB: what i am hearing is seriously scaring the shit out of me!

AG: Yeah, I know. I wish we didn't have to 8e so different. I'm just trying to 8e honest with you, 8ecause like I said, I have nowhere else to go.

John is ignorant of her culture and her behaviour at large, and his kind, innocent disposition makes him the perfect person to tell her that she hasn’t done anything wrong, or - at least - can become a better person. That’s why his opinion matters so much to her when nobody else’s does.

And even knowing that she’s not a flawless person, she still doesn’t think that she deserved to die. She has never been truly absolved of her guilt, and turning to a stranger - and an alien, whom you manipulate even though NOT doing that is the WHOLE point - to do that for her is cheating in the same way Tricksterism was for the alpha kids.

That said, John does present a genuine avenue of character development and emotional vulnerability for the girl who would become (Vriska). (Vriska) became her own person free of Mindfang’s shadow, having overcome the trauma of her past and the need to be ‘the best,’ which is as close to well-adjusted as we could hope for Vriska to be. But this character arc - a form of redemption itself - ends with the death of (Vriska) with GO!Terezi as Paradox Space collapses around them in the most emotional and romantic moment in storytelling history. John’s effects have yet to take hold on post-retcon Vriska as they did on pre-retcon Vriska starting from the above interaction forward, as Vriska is still a 8ig 8itch. John has come to recognize this, and I’m sure it will come up at some point, perhaps inspiring some kind of change in our anti-heroine.

Sacrificing herself for canonicity - maintaining all relevance EVER in a mostly selfless but still kind of selfish act that represents a major step in a redemption she would never get to complete but may not fully deserve besides - is the perfect end for her personally and thematically. Vriska saving John would be wild after their entire relationship including but not limited to the pivotal moments of their ghosts meeting and him saving her life so she could once again experience relevance in the first place; she’d basically be repaying him: something she has never done willingly for totally selfless reasons in good faith and karma before. Wouldn’t that be the most bittersweet character growth to end on? John would FINALLY be a mechanism for her absolution. It was cheating when John didn’t know her. Now it’s been earned after their relationship has evolved so thoroughly and John sees her for what she is, presumably removing his ability to absolve her from the equation entirely. What a 180 that would be. Her arc would technically be incomplete as a character who never fully matured, but what a beautiful step in that journey to end on. It would also be a form of direct recompense to John, having manipulated him in the past as Scratch alluded to! The (Just) master becomes the (Heroic) student! What a great fuck you to Scratch that would be after he ruined her life and fucked up her personality (so would her surviving to become a better person outside of Scratch’s narrative but we’ll get into that).

Vriska has been primed to destroy the Green Sun for a loooooooong time.

Within the scope of the story before we were introduced to serious meta like ‘dissipation,’ destroying the Green Sun would have been the most significant thing a person could ever do. But there’s a reality beyond Paradox Space and a wider ‘canon’ that needs to be maintained both within and outside of the Green Sun’s influence. Vriska never truly got to cash in on the Green Sun imagery. What if she got a second chance to do so?

Assume in some way that the most significant object within Paradox Space and its resulting black hole eating all of reality - which, as Terezi showed us in the Credits (making it still canon) has something strange at its centre - plays a role in maintaining canonicity. I know, a bit of a gimme, right? Presumably,we’re going to explore the confrontation with Lord English as part of the ‘unloading’ of the house juju. If the mechanism for canonicity lies in all this green mess, we’re killing 2 birds with 1 stone! Her relationship with John serves its original purpose in a newly genuine context and the green sun foreshadowing would finally amount to something.

I think Vriska would be almost perfectly content to die like this. It fulfils her philosophy and places her in canonical lore as the most significant, undeniable hero. As Hussie discusses in the Viz book 4 author notes, one of the dynamics Homestuck revolves around is Vriska inserting herself into everything and the Scourge Sisters’ karmic cycle that arises from that, so wiping it all clean would be a fitting end.

That said, I don’t want Vriska to die forever, because I love her with all my heart and I would never want to do that to Terezi, and Earth C would be way more fun if Vriska got to fully develop as a character with friends outside of canonical restraints/pressures. Let her enjoy candy after a life of meat! (Vriska) got to enjoy candy with Meenah and Terezi after she gave up on meat. Vriska has never had true candy comparatively. All of her relationships and romantic leads have had undertones of contention and manipulation that it would be fantastic to be free of in a new world where she can leave the burdens of ‘importance’ behind. This happening, I feel, is one of (if not the best ways) Hussie can further the commentary on candy being just as important as meat: making someone who has prioritized meat her whole life happy with candy once she learns to let it into her life. Meat is NOT the only important thing, Vriska.

How could she escape dying forever if she wanted to sacrifice herself to save John from doing the same? Sounds pretty final. I can’t imagine the ultimate self is in her near future, she doesn’t have retcon powers, and unless she pulls a juju out of her ass (maybe auryn somehow???) then the only mechanism I can see working is denizen nonsense. Beyond this, we know Terezi would not be content to let Vriska be dead forever. I was thinking maybe, on Earth C once the dust has settled and canon is Gucci, the kids could use their god tier powers to recreate Vriska (Terezi/Dirk for memory and self, life from Jane, a body from Roxy/Jake/Jade etc.) but that might be a long shot. Who knows. But also resurrecting Vriska as a free person in a free world would be... really Cool. Like, wow... what a scene. Ultimately, I think both potentialities would be pretty rad and would make me weep like a baby. I’m open to anything here.

In the end, we’ll see what happens tomorrow! I started Homestuck when I was 12 and its influence on me for the last 6 years as both a person and a creative is incomprehensible. I cannot imagine who I would be without it, and I don’t want to. Making analysis/theory posts and getting involved with community discussion has been one of the best things ever and I’m glad I could squeeze this one in before the end of everything. I’ll have plenty more to write about Homestuck and Hiveswap in the future, but it’s crazy to think this is the end of theorizing for Homestuck proper. Homestuck as a property has plenty more to give and I’ll be here with ideas for all of it :)

Thanks for reading!

#Homestuck #John Egbert #Vriska Serket #Homestuck Spoilers #Homestuck Epilogue #Epilogue #Abraxas #Homestuck theory #My theory #Me

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getallemeralds · 5 years

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Fix-it Leo: Katie / KG

welcome to something im tenatively calling “fix-it leo”, where i take my really old OCs and try to make sense of them! i’ve previously done this with Shadowy, which you can read here. seeing as im redrawing & “bringing back” a few other old ocs i figured id make this a series of talking about things! unlike the Shadowy one this doesnt have pictures beyond the initial ref bc i dont want to murder my hand and im also not sure how to draw some of this

today’s subject: Katie! also known as KG.

KG’s from 2010-ish, so some time after Shadowy but before the Shattered Worlds rework. to be as specific as possible, he’s from a RP setting that people that have known me closely have at least heard mentioned, if not seen snippets of it outright: KL, the massive crossover including any character and setting me & my friends wanted to RP.

as a self-insert character in crossover hell, Katie is VERY weird.

it was really hard for me to find info on Katie, because i actually had a bunch of OCs using that name that were my direct self-inserts for RP & story purposes both in and outside of KL. the unifying idea was that he was kinda just Me but in a fictional universe... and, apparently according to what info i DID find, all of the various Katies were. actually the same person, just in various conflicting situations with various conflicting backstories? so me stitching it all together got kinda weird. i did find a starting point though, so, uh... here we go!

as a general overview, Katie is pretty much just me. autistic, ADHD, likes videogames and art, bad social anxiety conflicting with desperately needing validation from everyone around him. he also has a very short temper and no volume control, which was usually a comedy thing but could also lead to him lashing out and doing/saying things he regrets, mostly hurting his friends. as a result he was kinda unpopular in his hometown... except for a small handful of friends he went to school with.

one night, he decides to go camp out with his friends to watch a meteor shower cause hes pretty fascinated by comets & shit like that. one of his friends, Elson, was acting pretty weird about it but Katie’s too excited to take much note of it up until the meteor shower “starts early” and Elson runs off into the woods. confused and startled, he gives chase. then, uh, the fucking apocalypse happens.

a lot of plot happens that im skipping over bc this is gonna be long enough as it is, but it gets revealed that Elson is actually an incognito alien named Elohim and an alien invasion is happening and wiping out civilization, and Katie is just. running out of sanity. being a main character SUCKS. he has a tragic backstory now, his friend (who he kind of had a crush on?) is an alien and is partially responsible for his tragic backstory, they join a rebellion after confirming “yeah your family’s dead as hell” and go to space, and finally find out that the leader of the aliens got a case of “jewelry makes you evil”.

they save the day obvs, with the help of some other people they ran into, and Katie has a moment of “well, fuck” bc his hometown is still extremely exploded and his family is still extremely dead and he’s like .5 miliseconds away from a mental breakdown. he then has a conversation that goes roughly like this:

person that helped them bust out of alien jail: hey, i think i know someplace you can stay katie: my house exploded person: cmon trust me

and then it turns out that that guy is actually Ninten and he’d just helped save the world with a fictional character, and before he has any opportunity to go “wait, what” he gets pulled through a portal by him and ends up somewhere totally different. more specifically, he’s now in the Earthbound universe, and his brain is going “[dial up noises]” a whole lot bc its not like his life was weird ENOUGH now he’s just... ditched his home reality??? with Ninten’s help??? and Ninten’s taking all of it in stride and ends up explaining the multiverse to him and that he’s one of the guys who ended up with the ability to worldhop and had stopped by Katie’s universe because he knew the possessed alien guy. he’s also apparently used to having to help people acclimate to massive paradigm shifts caused by multiversal fuckery.

so Katie’s just kinda trying to wrap his head around this, but takes Ninten up on his offer to go get to meet people and he goes to the Nowhere Islands! which was like, basically the hub location of KL. and then things get EXTRA surreal for Katie, because like... he used to write fanfic, and come up with story ideas that he daydreamed about a lot before everything exploded, and he bumps into Kurousu who is his OC. and there’s a lot of “UHHHH”-ing but he plays it off and befriends her, and its finally starting to sink in that yeah, he’s hanging out in this super weird crossover reality now, and he tries to make the most of it!

then some... weird things start happening. Tank, Joseph, and Vince make a jump to the Persona universe to do some plot stuff and run into Katie there, where he’s apparently joined SEES? except the last time they’d seen him, he’d been acting as a lackey to one of the arc villains because of a FMian from the Megaman universe screwing with him and taking advantage of his trauma to create a “new” Gemini Spark. and they start to write it off as “well i guess he’s like Tails where there’s some AUs of him running around” except... he recognizes them each time? but looks different and has different backstories and nothing really adds up. the next time a protagonist sees him, it’s Artemis post-getting turned into a Nobody finding Katie’s Nobody, Teixak, who apparently was very excited about getting to meet Roxas... despite, according to himself, having been living in Twilight Town for as long as he could remember. while also being very aware and very confused that that contradicts everything else about him.

teixak: eeee you mean i get to meet roxas?! he’s my favourite kingdom hearts character!! >w< rasemtix: ...you do realize you just told me youre from this universe, right? you were just explaining to me about how you lived here with leixand until the shadows attacked you two and stole your hearts. teixak: eh..? hm. ............Hm. but.... hm.

meanwhile on Katie’s end of things, he gets his heart stuffed back in his body and he reconciles with his externalized FMian-induced evil side and various other things from various other worlds, but everything feels weird and disjointed. he remembers attending school at Gekkougan, but also remembers living in Echo Ridge, but also remembers Twilight Town, but also remembers living in a boring world that got invaded by aliens where also all of this was just videogames and books and animes and OCs. and then things start getting weirder for him. he makes a joke to Artemis about “hey, remember when we got in a big fight cause i hit you with a sign?” and he doesn’t remember it. he teases Ninten about something personal and Ninten freezes up and asks him how he knows that, and Katie gets confused because he told him. he has an even more personal talk with T1, and then has the same talk later but with slightly different words. and it’s starting to look like it’s not just “various Katies”, it’s Katie also dealing with various... varieties of everyone else, and he’s pretty much spinning a wheel on “what version of events am i in today?”

he finally gets an answer after a while-- something went really weird and really wrong when Ninten first brought him into the KL multiverse. the Katie that told Gomess about the Andromeda Key is the same Katie that joined SEES is the same Katie that got his heart stolen is the same Katie that got rescued from an apocalypse, but he’s sort of... existing simultaneously in different realities with slight “adjustments” to his personal history depending on what universe he’s encountered in. he also exists “outside of canon”, so some of the weirder memories he has are from rewrites or scrapped plotlines or noncanon moments that sometimes clip into canon when theyre not supposed to. apocalypse!Katie is the “primary”/original Katie, and that’s where all his weird meta knowledge comes from.

it’s... really confusing, and nobody really “gets” it, least of all Katie himself. he just knows that he’s ended up with a bunch of cool powers, although he’s not really sure what he’s doing and has been a villain at least two universes. he also has a severe case of main character-itis (hence getting a Persona, getting his heart stolen, etc), and still isnt sure how to tell if he’s interacting with the “canon” versions of everybody or not. he’s at least unable to cause weird bizarre paradoxes by interacting with himself; trying to visit one of the universes he has an “echo” in just causes a perspective switch to the resident Katie. Katie also has access to all of his abilities as long as he’s not in a universe with a resident Katie; apocalypse!Katie has no abilities at all, starforce!Katie only has his FMian transformation, kh!Katie can only use his Keyblade, etc. this only starts being a thing after he “clicks” with his new existence.

he also has various outfits and aesthetics depending on universe, with the one i drew being his “outside canon“/default one. he gets cat ears! and Outsider eyes. Katie also has a bad habit of stealing things from universes he visits, and as a result has a collection of random things that he really shouldnt.

#txt #leo chirps #leos ocs #fixit leo #oc: KG

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onewhoturns · 5 years

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first impressions: mad and maddening

If you’ve been reading it over on AO3 (in 2nd person POV) or FFnet (in third person POV) you’ve already seen this, but in case you haven’t checked it out yet, please do! I’m actually super happy with this fic so far. Feel free to hit up that ‘start here’ link below to see it all from the beginning, or click through to my AO3/FFnet pages above.

Series Title: first impressions Chapter: 3/? Chapter Title: mad and maddening Pairing: Jacob Frye/Reader OC Word count: 4907 Rating: T Story summary: You’d never found violence particularly attractive. But you had to admit… it looked good on him. start here (brute pt 1), previously (notorious)

He was waiting for you as you entered your mistress’s room. Grinning. “Lizzie.”

You froze for just a moment before quickly stepping in and closing the door behind you, frowning. You tried to keep your voice even, if edged with wariness, a plethora of thoughts suddenly buzzing in your head. “...Mr. Frye.” Why was he here? How did he know your name? What was he-- oh god -- Your heart leapt to your throat with a rush of anxiety, eyes widening before you glared. “You could’ve been caught,” you hissed, stepping forward, glancing around the room as if you might spot something amiss. “I could’ve been anyone!”

How dare he laugh like that. “No you couldn’t have.”

Nothing out of place, save for the open window -- no drawers disturbed or trunks left open. It didn’t mean he hadn’t stolen something. Maybe something small? You took another step toward him, scanning his person quickly, checking for suspicious glints of jewelry or trinkets spilling from his pockets-- damn it, why did that stupid top hat suit him so well? “Yes I could,” you insisted, crossly. Christ, why were you worried for him -- your job was on the line, too, if things went missing, and that meant the roof over your head and the food in your belly.

His step forward was quick and quieter than you would’ve expected from a man of his build. The fingers - skin and the leather edges of his glove - brushing your chin made you jump then freeze as he lifted your face, watching you with amusement. “No.” His voice was a low murmur and he was far closer than he should be, his eyes too intensely interested. “You really couldn’t.”

You’d stopped breathing. As soon as you realised that fact you blinked, swallowing hard, and jerked your face from his hold, eyes shooting to the floor. You felt the too-warm flush on your cheeks soothed by that cooling sense of blankness that came with what he’d called your disappearing act. It was a relief to be nothing for a moment. To take a breath without his eyes on you. It let you snap back to your senses.

“Lizzie,” he whined, dropping his hand and rolling his head back in exasperation, making no attempt to stay quiet. “You’re making my head hurt, love, please come-”

“If you would keep your voice down, Mr. Frye.” Your voice was a tense whisper, watching him warily, too distracted to keep your meek facade. Half of you was hyper aware of the last place you’d seen Mrs. Hanover the housekeeper (speaking with the cook, discussing their cold storage; three floors below), and half was coming up blank trying to theorise on why the thief was here.

His head was still tipped back, but you saw the smile twist his lips as he lazily rolled it forward again, fixing you with a look that was too sharp for your taste. There was a fire in it, but not the sort you may have expected based on his earlier closeness. No, this was a violent chaos, burning to be free. “Make me.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. There was a beat of silence.

“How? ” You made no attempt to hide the utter bafflement in your voice.

The man smirked. Like you should know what that meant?

“You are a prizefighting champion, sir,” you reminded him, shortly. Wasn’t this obvious? “I am a maid. I cannot make you do anything, merely ask.” You shook your head, unsure what exactly he expected of you. “And that is what I am doing.”

Eyes narrowed in playful suspicion as he took a swaggering step toward you, and you almost immediately took a step back. “A maid.” It wasn’t a question, but the phrase was still steeped in scepticism.

What on earth was he getting at? “...Yes?” Another step forward, another step back. Your skin had broken out in gooseflesh: something was not right. Why was he coming at you like this?

“Your cover is good, I’ll give you that.”

“Cover?” The question was a perplexed murmur, and he promptly ignored it.

“Who do you really work for, sweetheart?” He spoke smoothly, continuing to move forward, something in his tone coaxing you for an answer you weren’t sure how to give.

Your face flushed, anger battling with caution, all shaded with an echoing frustration at how senseless his words were. And calling you sweetheart like that-- “You are too informal, Mr. Frye!” you snapped, struggling to keep your voice low as you demanded, “And I would have you speak plainly, if you will.”

“Plain-?” Seeming to tire of bickering, he sighed and pulled back, rolling his eyes. “Fine.” There was a quiet click-shing as he presented you a forearm, a thin blade sliding from the gauntlet he wore: “Let’s have at it, then.”

The words had hardly left his lips before he swung, a heavy fist going straight for your head.

You were no fighter.

You barely managed to stumble back, falling to the floor with wide eyes, swallowing your shocked cry. Cringing away, hands lifted defensively, you couldn’t even calm yourself enough for your usual tricks, eyes scrunched up and turned to the floor as you braced for a blow, grimacing.

No blow came.

Your heart was racing like a frightened rabbit, a fluttering pitter-patter shallow in your chest, legs tangled before you, a mess of fabric and trembling limbs. Breathe. You were shaking. Christ, you couldn’t stop shaking. Get a hold of yourself, woman. Your jaw ached, fused shut by a stubborn refusal to shout, tongue cleaved to the roof of your mouth. It felt like forever, but must’ve only been a few seconds before you could focus enough to slip on an attempt at your defensive modesty.

The choked noise from his throat - too loud in the suddenly silent room - broke your concentration almost immediately, eyes snapping to him, as tense as you’d ever been in your life.

He at least had the decency to look almost as shocked as you. The combat stance was gone, though the blade still protruded from the device on his arm.

You watched the pink rising under his skin.

“Ah.” He cleared his throat hard, shifting nervously on his feet. “Well.” The shock was briefly replaced by dumbfounded confusion, cocking his head at you, lips parting as though he might ask a question before his mouth snapped shut again. “...Right.” He blinked several times, looking away, adjusting back to a more casual position, blade sliding away once more, brow furrowed as he seemed to reconcile this new information.

You simply watched, dumbfounded.

He lifted a finger, as though to make an interjection to a conversation that was definitely not happening. “So-” Down it went again, as he contemplated his words. Finally, he looked at you again. “So you’re not a member of the Order?” He sounded practically hopeful, as though you might correct him.

You weren’t sure when your hands had lowered, but now you just stared at the man before you, stunned. “...Order?” you asked weakly.

He fidgeted, ears going red even as he kept his mostly confident posture. “And not part of the Brotherhood?” There was that same hope again. It was like he expected you to have some kind of sudden realisation.

What on earth… You wracked your brain for his meaning. “Is that… a union thing?”

He let out a weak huff of amusement, but you couldn’t bring yourself to join - far too aware of a hidden blade that could spring out at half a second’s notice. As he noticed your silence, he also fell quiet. Gradually his face grew more serious, regret clear in the firm line of his lips. He took a few steps toward you and you winced as he lowered a hand. Hazel eyes skirted away from yours -- good, he should be ashamed -- as he lowered himself to one knee. The hand he offered was unarmed.

“I believe I owe you an apology.”

The air hung heavy in the silence as you stared at him in disbelief, head spinning. Finally, you came at least somewhat to your senses. Your gaping mouth snapped shut and you slapped his offered hand away, suddenly feeling a fury. A fury that threatened your better sense to not push the buttons of a man with a hidden blade. “You’re damn right you do!” You hated how shrill your voice was as you struggled to your feet without his help, tinny with a hysteria that, while understandable, was still humiliating. “You could’ve killed me!”

His lips twisted as his eyes darted away again, his tone not nearly as apologetic as he’d claimed. “To be fair, I expected you to fight back.”

“With what?!”

He’d darted his eyes back to you, scanning over your figure like he was trying to find an answer himself, lips parted as though he might make some undoubtedly foolish attempt to argue his case, but then you both heard it.

The housekeeper was calling your name. “Is that you? Are you alright, dear?”

Your heart was once more painfully lodged in your throat, a series of options flicking through your head, calculating just how likely Mrs. Hanover was to seek you out regardless of your answer. You could call out, assure the woman of your well-being, but undoubtedly she would still come find you. And would that be so bad? Perhaps that was the best way to ensure Mr. Frye’s departure. After all, it seemed (at least at this point) that he was reluctant to harm you. And if he wanted to mince words with the housekeeper, he was welcome to it as long as you were in the clear. Would you be in the clear? Did you even have the time to think on it?

You reached for the doorknob, prepared to warn of the intruder, to bring the attention you so often avoided, but apparently Mr. Frye had made his decision just a bit quicker. A hand clamped down over your mouth, reining your whole body back to collide with his, at the same moment that an arm wrapped around your torso, pinning your arms to your sides even as you reflexively tried to reach up to pry his fingers away from your lips.

So you couldn’t reach the hand over your mouth, fine. You hesitated, too aware that you could still reach his other arm, could still try to wrestle yourself free. But you weren’t a fighter, you knew you weren’t a fighter, and he was-- god, he was; you could feel it even clearer than you’d seen with your own eyes, could feel the sheer power of his body at your back. Every inch of you was on high alert, even as you tried to think rationally, to set aside that first chaotic instinct of fear. Hadn’t he just been apologising? Shouldn’t that mean you weren’t in danger? But then why--

“I don’t want to hurt you, I just want to talk.” His voice was a low murmur and--

--and his breath was hot against your ear, each syllable vibrating on your skin.

...It was… peculiar.

You did not appreciate the sudden drip of uncertainty gradually flooding your body.

There were footsteps from beyond the closed door, someone already halfway up the stairs; you’d memorised that creaky step within your first week of service.

“Key?”

What? An expression of confusion furrowed your brow, trying to interpret his-- oh. There was one to these rooms, yes, but you didn’t know where the mistress kept it. They weren’t kept locked. You shook your head. The movement brushed your cheek against his nose, his lips making the briefest contact with your jaw. Christ, you hadn’t been this close to a man in… well, since Papa died. And that had been a very different type of embrace from… whatever this was. When had your mouth gone so dry? Damn it, focus.

The brief moment of hesitation in his movements made you wary, but then he seemed to have made a decision.

It happened in a flash. Your squeak of indignant alarm and pain was stifled by his hand as he yanked an arm behind you (not as hard as he’d manhandled his competitors in the ring, but still, it wasn’t exactly pleasant) and the next thing you knew you were in your mistress’s closet, thoroughly disoriented.

Not even the dressing room? Or the bathroom? You had to pick this?

Of all the doors, he’d chosen the one leading to the smallest space. And of course he’d joined you. Of course. Sod the concept of propriety or scandal, why not cram oneself into extremely close quarters with a woman he’d barely met. “If you’d asked-” fingers pressed against your lips, silencing you far more politely than the first time. He’d let go of your arm as well. I could’ve told you which room had an exit, you dolt. But you didn’t protest.

There was the sound of a door opening, but not the one you’d expected. So the housekeeper was checking the linen closet first -- fair, you often changed sheets as part of your duties. But that was just a longer wait. Here. With him.

Finally taking a moment to breathe, you were suddenly incredibly aware of your position.

It was too dark to see him at first, thank god, but you could imagine well enough, could feel the wood of the closet door against your back and the tension in his wrist where it nestled into the skirts against your hip, hand tight on the handle to keep the door closed. He was close. Very close. Knowing the size of this closet you suspected he may actually be putting himself in some amount of pain to keep from being even closer. A soft grunt of discomfort seemed to confirm your theory, as did his slight shift forward. That would be the hooks at the back, undoubtedly digging into him. Despite your wish to, you didn’t voice the mandatory objections, mindful of the calloused fingertips on your lips. At this point you’d be in just as much trouble as him if the two of you were caught. More, even.

Your eyes were just adjusting to the thin stream of light peeking under the crack in the door (hardly much to see by, but you were getting vague outlines) when you heard a soft clacking. You strained, as if opening your eyes even wider in the dark would somehow allow you to see what-

You caught the tiny light reflected on the metal of the offending hanger in the practically empty closet, half-hidden by what you could reasonably assume was his shoulder, watching it nervously as it swung. He’d hit it, then. You couldn’t exactly blame him, given the small space and his own rather bulky form. You wanted to, though. Especially as he shifted and the clack came again.

Lips pursing, you held back the admonishment, instead reaching past him, stilling the movement with a firm hand. You’d had to lean forward to do it, and now thought you might be regretting that choice, as the movement had slipped his fingers down your lips, pressed your body a bit closer to his, draping your arm against his chest, and you realised too late that letting go now would just send it clattering once more.

He shifted again, and you could sense him looking down at you even if you couldn’t see his eyes. There was a creak as the door to your mistress’s bedroom opened, and you tried not to breathe. Fingers slipped until they cupped your chin, his thumb brushing over your lips like a warning you didn’t need. You had no intention of speaking, of being caught. In fact, it would probably be better if you just…

It was hard to do in such a position, but if you set your mind to it… Gradually you felt your body settle into the proper demeanor - awkward with your hand propped over his shoulder, but achievable - and slipped into that practiced modesty that—

His hand tightened on your chin, face ducking beside yours as a soft, barely breathed, “Ss,” slipped through gritted teeth.

Was he shushing you? But you hadn’t made any noise. It was a silent trick, just a… Ah. Right. He’d said it before. He said it made his head hurt, but you didn’t understand how that could be true. But here he was, suddenly far tenser than he’d been a moment ago, crowding into your space with an air of frustrated confusion. Stop He’d wanted to say stop, that must’ve been it. A plea.

You dropped your attempt immediately, half fascinated and half guilty. You’d never seen someone react to your… whatever it was… like that before. As soon as you stopped he let out a short breath, his grip loosening, the tensed muscles of his arms relaxing. “Thhh.” Again, barely breathed, a silent sound of mostly air that tickled your ear. Thank you. Well, at least he was appreciative.

It was your turn to tense - free hand lifting and nervously bumping into the fabric of Mr. Frye’s coat (and to his credit, he held quite still) - as the door barely two feet from your hiding place creaked open. The bathroom. So Mrs. Hanover was checking the full rooms. You grudgingly admitted perhaps the closet had been the best choice after all.

It felt like ages, though you knew it was barely a couple minutes, waiting for the housekeeper to make her search. As you heard the woman entering the dressing room, you had the sudden realisation that he hadn’t moved away. He’d relaxed, yes, but his face was still close beside yours, his breath still--

--still licking down your neck. A quick stream of curses slipped through your mind as you stiffened to keep from shivering. There was the smallest huff of air - of laughter - and you quickly released the hold you’d reflexively taken on his waistcoat. When had your hand slipped past his jacket? Oh god. And of course now he could probably feel the heat from your face even if he couldn’t see you glowing red. You could hear the pounding of blood in your ears you were blushing so hard. You felt the itch in your throat, that nervous need to cough, to shed the tension, to do something, but you had to stay silent. Instead you swallowed hard and pursed your lips, nibbling at one for a moment.

That had been a mistake. That hadn’t helped at all -- on the contrary, your lips were suddenly more sensitive to his touch. Bad idea. And of course his thumb still brushed your mouth, of course it did, and you could swear he was grinning, you could swear it! But you need only endure this closeness just a moment more. One more moment.

This was ridiculous. You should be outraged at the impertinence. Maybe you would’ve been, if you truly were who you pretended to be. If you hadn’t grown up seeing lads like him. Worse than him, really -- less polite, less respectful. Compared to what you’d witnessed in the east end, from flirtations to harassments, Mr. Frye was a catch. Even if he was a thief. At least he was a good one.

But damn it, you were better than that now. You were moving up in the world, had been ever since you and your Ma had left Whitechapel. Respectable. And respectable young women didn’t cosy up with thieves in dark closets.

And how could you have forgotten how he had very near killed you just minutes ago?!

Perhaps you couldn’t let go of the hanger just yet, but you withdrew your other hand from his chest, balling it into a fist at your side as you reminded yourself of your righteous indignation.

It was irritatingly hard to hold on to.

He was too easy to make exceptions for, and you had to stop doing so.

The sound of his throat clearing, subtle as it was, was too loud so close to your ear. Blinking your thoughts back to the present, you realised with a start that the housekeeper had moved on. His thumb had dropped from your lips, though his fingers still brushed your chin.

“I think we’re in the clear.” Still, his voice was a barely-breathed whisper.

“Right.” No, not right, think before you speak. Realising your mistake you hurriedly - awkwardly - crossed your arm between the two of you to stop his hand on the door handle as he shifted to open it. “Wait! Did she leave the door to the bedroom open?” If she did, you’d still need to tiptoe about until she was back down a floor, until you could close it again.

There was a pause, but when he whispered again it sounded at least partially amused. “How would I know?”

You tried to ignore the way his hand brushed your cheek, tracing your jaw too delicately for such calloused digits, like his fingers couldn’t keep still. Too familiar, he was far too familiar. “Well did you hear it?”

Again, a pause. His voice and his wandering fingers, lighting against your cheekbone. You thought he might be censoring himself, but you weren’t sure. Perhaps he was just trying to remember. “...Yes.” This time it was louder than a whisper, more confident, though still low, and - Christ, you hadn’t realised you’d be able to feel the timbre of his voice, that was… that was different.

Surely there was something you should say in response. Some kind of confirmation. Damn it all, he was distracting. As his touch left your face you thought you’d seen the last of it, but he’d only drawn away to reach back, taking a firm hold of your wrist, reminding you to let go of the silly hanger. And-- Eyes narrowed in suspicion, even in the dark. He was doing that on purpose, wasn’t he? Guiding your hand down his chest like that. Your fingers tensed, but he made no move further down his torso. Good. You didn’t know what to expect from the cheeky bastard.

The two of you were still too close. You should say something. Scold him. You should really pull your hand away.

You should.

...So why weren’t you?

Your mind went blank for a moment as he leaned closer, practically pressing you against the door, both arms now trapped in the rapidly diminishing space between your bodies. At least his lips weren’t quite so close to your ear this time, his smirk audible and the words a half-singsong warning spoken above your head: “Careful, now.”

Careful-?

The door opened and you stumbled back, still flustered, barely able to steady yourself before you might fall. You bit your tongue to keep the curse from your lips, glaring at the man who now strolled leisurely from your hiding spot. He was giving you a look - amused, but still with that touch of disbelief he’d had before. “Huh. You really aren’t trained, are you?”

“Trained.” The word was flat as you struggled to push away those niggling thoughts of too close in favour of the righteous indignation you really should be focused on.

Mr. Frye glanced away, shrugging and flapping his hand noncommittally. “You know.”

Alright. Enough was enough. You closed your eyes, hands clasping before you as you tried to collect yourself, to set aside the mortification of your close-quarters hideaway and instead hold this man accountable. You let out a soft sigh, trying to be patient, staring at his feet. “No, Mr. Frye, I do not know. That is precisely the issue. But if it has anything to do with your unexpected assault earlier, I believe I am owed an explanation.” You gave a short nod, satisfied that you’d regained your composure.

He’d turned away a bit, patting at his coat, and when you glanced up again— It was so hard to not immediately try to hide, seeing the massive curved knife he’d drawn. Too hard. Instinct kicked in, and you-

“Lizzie, stop.” It was only slightly more request than command, but there was enough softness in it - and he hadn’t raised the blade. So you relented, raising your chin again.

“I would rather you not call me that, sir.” Your jaw was tight, unappreciative of his informality.

“Why not?” How could he sound surprised at that? You’d met him, what, three times? Four? You barely knew his name. And yet he seemed so innocently taken aback that you didn’t want him to speak so casually with you? “It’s what your friend called you.” The knife hung limp in his grip, forgotten for the time being.

Your friend… “Who exactly…” You already had your suspicions before he answered.

“The blonde you were at the match with. Fulton, Fuller, something like that.”

Emma Fuller. Soon to be Shearer. That… You sighed, resignedly. That made sense, then. Emma was the only one who called you that anymore - the only one you let call you that — the only one you didn’t actively avoid, anyway. You pursed your lips, glaring out the corner of your eye as you remembered the sneering way the nickname had slipped from grimy children’s lips. You’d put a stop to it when you could, in favour of something a bit more refined. Still, Emma was notoriously bad at listening to you.

“So it’s true, then?” He shook his head, his words a murmur of incredulous amusement. “Whitechapel born and bred.”

You tucked nervous fingers into your pockets, worrying the loose threads hidden within, but kept your voice steady, meeting his curious gaze head-on. “Mr. Frye, my history is mine alone and none of your business.”

He shrugged, nodding his assent, glancing away. “Fair enough.”

You actually felt relieved for a moment. Before he spoke again.

“I just… I dunno. From there to here…” His head was lowered, eyes fixing on yours from beneath the brim of his hat, with a tone that covered mild suspicion with a mask of casual curiosity. “Seemed like a cover. ...Or a job.” How did he manage to sound so genial with that hard edge underneath it all?

“It is a job,” you insisted, scowling, arms quickly crossing over your chest defensively. “It’s good work and I was lucky to get it.” Years working in the shops, months of carefully chosen words and actions, curating your impression for the wealthier ladies of the city; it was a bit insulting to call it luck, actually.

“No it—” He shook his head, shedding that air of intimidation easily. “With your, erm,” his smirk at the ground was wry as he searched for the word. “...Talents. It just seemed…” He trailed off, but this time his bemusement seemed genuine. “...How do you do it, anyway?”

You didn’t need to ask what he meant. “I…” You hesitated. “I don’t know.” Shrugging halfheartedly, you let yourself watch him with sharp eyes as long as he wasn’t looking at you. Your voice was softer than you wanted, too much of your own uncertainty - your own puzzlement at how honest you were being - sneaking through. “I just do.” You hadn’t even considered it something unusual until somewhat recently. “...I’ve never had someone notice before,” you admitted quietly.

There was a pause, a small contemplative frown twisting his lips. He watched his fingers playing along the intricate engraving on the knife, but it looked more like fidgeting than a threat. When he spoke it was a distracted murmur, and you had to wonder what was on his mind. “Evie does something like it.”

Evie? Was that a friend of his? Oh god -- was that his wife? If so, should you be relieved? You blanched, head buzzing, confused not just by his words but by the bitter taste they brought to your mouth. Stop it. Get a hold of yourself. Change the subject. The words tumbling from your lips weren’t exactly a subtle change of tack. “What’s the knife for?”

“Hm?” He glanced up, then back, as though suddenly realising what his attentions to the blade might look like. “Not for you, love, god no,” he assured you easily, tossing the blade casually into the air, as if to prove its harmlessness. You jumped, a quick shock lighting through you, barely having time to jar you before he’d caught the handle again, giving it an impressive-looking twirl. There was a flash of that cheeky grin again. “Nah, this lady’s for Blighters, mostly. And Templars.” Another flamboyant twist and flick, light dancing along the metal with the fluid movements as he took a couple steps toward you, voice lowering in a teasing murmur. “And rogues and thieves…”

He’d practically set you up. One of your brows lifted incredulously, mouth already opening, about to point out that he himself seemed to be the latter, when his earlier words were fully processed. “...Blighters?”

A smirk curled his lip as he gave a half-nod.

Your face went blank. “So…” He didn’t wear their colours, but… “You work for the Rooks, then?”

His eyebrows shot up and you watched a look of pure delight dawn on his face. His lips were tight and you knew he was trying not to grin. Trying and failing miserably. “Work-” There was a small huff of laughter as he dropped his gaze to the floor, teeth flashing as he shook his head. “I don’t work for the Rooks, love.”

Oh thank go--

“I am the Rooks.”

#jacob frye #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye x oc #assassin's creed syndicate #assassin's creed #ac #ac syndicate #my writing #lizzie boone

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foofygoldfish · 6 years

Text

deputy alice riley

Soooooooooo this is gonna be long, but it’s pretty much anything you could ever want to know about alice lol

her full name is Claire Alice Riley, though she pretty much only goes by Alice. Staci calls her Allie, and she haaates it.

She was born in Falls End on October 30th, 1992.

Her face claim is Anya Taylor-Joy, just shorter (5′) and with pink hair. She naturally has dark brown hair, though when her hair isn’t pink, she dyes it blonde.

Her childhood in Fall’s End was fairly average - her sister was annoying (Jane was the designated babysitter, and hated it), so was her brother (he loved frogs and spiders, she… didn’t; though she got him back by her loving snakes and him being terrified of them, which is still true), her parents were happily married. The car crash happened after a Girl Scout’s meeting (the troop disbanded not long after, but not because of the crash) that her dad picked her up from. She came out with a broken arm and a concussion, but that was it. She doesn’t really remember much from the few hours before or after the crash. A few years after, the Sheriff had Jane (who had custody at this point) send her and Caleb to California, where her aunt and uncle were her legal guardians. Her uncle is a chef for big events, so he had weird hours, but they were able to live comfortably and (to Alice’s amazement, Caleb’s disdain) to have passes to Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm. Her aunt works in the industry and travels a lot, but both of them tried to be home more for the first few weeks after the twins moved in. The twins were both involved with theatre, but Caleb is the one with the real acting talent - Alice thought about being a voice actor, but it’s more of a hobby for her than anything.

Her family owns the Fall’s End Garage - she’s not the best at the mechanical side of running the shop, but she’s pretty good at running the business side of things. She wanted to ban peggies from the shop, but Jane wouldn’t let her.

Lives in the house behind the garage in Fall’s End - it was her parents, her sister kept it after she moved in with her then-boyfriend - she didn’t want to stay, but nobody was really looking to buy houses at that point, so she boarded it up for the twins. Jane joined after the house was “given” to Alice, so the house was fine.

She misses LA like crazy, especially once winter hits. She loves having rainy days again, but ten years of no winter? Her dream.

Her brother, Caleb, thinks the testy festy is hilarious, and after everything is over, is so mad that he missed it. Alice doesn’t agree with him. At all.

She’s technically Catholic - she was baptised, went to her first communion, and then pretty much stopped going to church. She goes to Pastor Jerome’s masses for the comfort and traditions when she moves back, but she doesn’t really believe.

She loves being on the water. She prefers surfing and kayaking, but adapts to the lakes and rivers of Hope County quickly. She’s not a huge fan of fish, but she starts to like fishing at some point. She definitely prefers it to hunting, and if given the choice, will definitely go fishing.

Speaking of hunting... Alice has a habit of darting off into a field of bliss when she’s bored hunting in the Henbane. She doesn’t actively do drugs, and doesn’t want to be an angel, but... She gets bored. And has impulse issues sometimes.

The Seeds tease/taunt her because of her height - she doesn’t even come up to Jacob’s shoulder, which I also think is kinda hilarious lol. Staci used to tease her too, but the entire department learned not to/were told by Whitehorse to stop (unless she can’t reach something and she doesn’t have anything to climb on)

When everything’s done, she helps Grace open up a little cafe. There’s plenty of people to help run it, and she thinks that (after a nice vacation) it would be good for Grace, and eventually Jess as well.

The Sheriff forces her to take a vacation after everything. She tries to go back to just being the Junior Deputy, but she gets roped into continuing to help the resistance. She pretty much takes over Virgil’s responsibilities as mayor, and helps to set up a small school for the few kids left in the county.

If you’ve seen Wynonna Earp - she has the same blue and white truck as Wynonna. She came back to Fall’s End with her little electric car, but that isn’t really feasible to keep using, so she took it up to Missoula one day and sold it. The salesman tried to sell her a fancy new truck, but she was happy with the one Jane had kept for her.

Most called gun for hire: Jess and Grace. She’s not the best at being sneaky, and her eyes aren’t the best for sniping (she had an optometrist appointment for a week after the initial mission, she obviously missed it), so she almost has one or both of them with her. When she needs to just fuck shit up, she’ll call Sharky, though

She started at the sheriff’s office as a secretary - it was a job, and she’d be able to look after her sister (“who didn’t need looking after” but there had been some fainting spells), and then after Hudson’s partner died, Whitehorse told her that she could apply for the role, and she took him up on that.

If she did join the cult, she’d have a fairly nondescript position - probably something administrative, as that’s what her degree is in. Definitely something behind the scenes and non-violent.

Fucking loves disaster movies. She’s a slut for disaster movies. Like, she’ll sit through all the shitty SyFy channel ones as well as the big budget ones (San Andreas is one of her favorites - it’s so cheesy, but it has Dwayne Johnson and Alexandra Daddario, AND GIANT FUCKIN EARTHQUAKES. And the guy from Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries who is a total teddy bear)

She doesn’t really like planes or helicopters - if they are needed, she’ll get Nick or Addie. She knows enough to take off and land, but she’ll avoid flying herself if at all possible. The mission where Kim has her take Carmina and blow up peggie supplies? Fucking terrifying.

She rock climed and did some parkour back in LA. She didn’t keep up with it when she moved, but it obviously comes in handy...

Alice has two cats: Crookshanks and Data. They are both huge Norwegian forest cats, Crookshanks is an orange tabby, and Data is a grey tabby. When she’s not home, Mary May happily takes care of them.

She has a shitton of anxiety problems. She had a decent supply of meds when shit went down.

She has a major panic attack after driving Nick and Kim to the clinic. Even without the shit all over the road, she was terrified that she would crash and hurt or kill the Ryes.

Relationships:

Jane - She’s 8 years older than Alice. Alice absoultely does not approve of her relationship with John, and is horrified when she finds out that her sister married the fucker.

Caleb - Both of them are horrible at keeping in contact, so he’s not worried at all when she goes off the radar.

Joseph - She thinks he’s full of shit lol

John - Direct quote from when she’s told her sin is wrath: “No, it’s not wrath, it’s I fucking hate you.” Once they’re able to laugh about it, Hudson doesn’t let her live that down.

Faith - Uh, she obvs thinks Faith is the cutest. She has a hard time keeping her sass to an angry level, rather than super flirty.

Jacob - They fucked. After the Rye’s barbeque with the infamous watery mac n cheese. I still haven’t figured out why? She hates him now, and absoultely regrets the one night stand (...mostly. She thinks.)

Mary May - Her childhood best friend. They tried to keep in contact after Alice moved, but they eventually both moved on - Alice with new friends in LA, Mary May with helping to run the bar.

Pastor Jerome - He doesn’t mind that she isn’t a practicing Catholic, and welcomes her with open arms. She tries to get people to go to his church again after everything, to mixed levels of success.

Dutch - She’s not a huge fan of him, but she’s grateful for his help, and he is grateful for what she does and how she helps Jess.

Eli - He can’t reconcile the image of the Junior Deputy and the Alice he knows in his head - she doesn’t act anything like the rumors flying around the county, but he loves her (as a friend).

Tracey - They don’t get along very well - it’s a very strained, very professional relationship. Tracey knows that Alice likes Faith, and is very worried that she’ll be too soft on her.

Virgil - She loves his pins, which makes her super cool in his book. They quickly become friends, and he becomes a sorta mentor to her before his death.

Nick and Kim - Nick finds it hilarious that she hates planes so much, and he only uses it to tease her sometimes. Nick quickly becomes like an older brother to her, and she spoils Baby Rye rotten after she’s born.

Adelaide - Also amused by Alice’s feelings on flying, but doesn’t bring it up often as Alice was a frequent visitor to the marina before shit went down. Adelaide doesn’t understand Alice’s crush on Faith, but she will tease her about it (as long as Alice doesn’t defect).

Grace - The two met once before Grace’s parade, and then again at Alice’s dad’s funeral. They get along pretty well, and Alice always has her with her when liberating outposts or doing anything that requires her to have good vision.

Hurk - He drives her insane. She thinks he’s funny, and a really nice guy, but he’s so loud.

Sharky - On the other hand, she loves Sharky. She teases him about the time he puked on Grace every time he mentions having an upset stomach. They’ve drunkenly kissed a few times, but they both try and act like it didn’t happen.

Jess - In the main story? Her girlfriend by the end of the game. Jess teaches her how to hunt properly, even though Alice hates it. Jess joins in her teasing of Sharky about the puking. She hates it when Jess uses the fire arrows - Sharky and Hurk already set her clothes on fire, she doesn’t need it from her super-stealthy person! At the end of everything, she tries to convince Jess to play video games (instead of killing people), to some but not much success.

Relationship wise: They start off with drunken kisses, then one night stands, and then realise that the amount of one night stands (and nights when they fall asleep together) they have mean they’re kinda girlfriends.

Fangs - She sleeps with Boomer in her bed every night, despite her cats protests. She’ll cuddle with Peaches and Cheeseburger when it’s cold and she’s outside, but it’s a little harder to get the two of them inside the house.

Marshal Burke - She thinks he’s a decent person, a little egotistical, but decent. She’s super shocked when he shoots himself.

Whitehorse - He’s part of the reason she starts to not mind fishing. He’s her surrogate dad, and has been looking out for her since her dad died. They’re both relieved to see each other after the crash.

Hudson - She’s not too sure about Alice at first, but she quickly becomes protective of the “city girl,” and willingly does all of the night driving.

Staci - Her brother’s ex-best friend (for the same reasons as with Mary May). She didn’t really get past “I tolerate you” until the events of the game. After he’s rescued, they become platonic cuddle buddies, even after he starts his thing with Stella. They both agree to not tell Caleb exactly what happened to both of them.

#deputy alice riley #oh lordy this is longer than i anticipated and i still cut out half of what i have in the word doc #apologies to anyone on mobile

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