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#but also like I don’t know any of you ppl so truly who is to say
yuribalisms · 9 months
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Essentially what it is all boiling down to is I have fully realized I am bad at being a person, that will always be true, and I don’t know how to handle that
#I’m going to be depressing and self depreciating in the tags so. fair warning to anyone who reads them#I’ve known for a while now that I don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve thought of a few ideas but none of them seem to be working. and I#think a good chunk of what it’s boiling down to is that I am quite literally just stupid when it comes to an actual useful real life skills.#and it’s frustrating because I can’t even talk to ppl I know and confide in them that I feel dumb and stupid without them being like ‘nooooo#don’t say that! you’re not stupid! you were top of your class in hs!’ (that is their favorite thing to fall back on) but like. the thing is#I wasn’t even smart in hs. sure I did good but that’s because I cheated my way through and got lucky a lot. I never actually learned anythin#I never understood what I was being taught or how to apply it. I was good at English and art classes and that was it those were the only one#I truly felt I knew what I was doing in and grasped the subject matter well. I know I’m good at those two things and smart when it comes to#those subjects. but the thing is. in real life. both of those are useless skills. I can’t make money with them and it is highly unlikely#that will ever change. and yes I know not being able to make money with it doesn’t mean it’s useless but like it kinda does. capitalism#sucks. I know that. we all do. but that doesn’t change that we live in a capitalist society and it’s unlikely to actual change in my lifetim#so I’m stuck to try and figure out how to live in it. but I have no skills I can make money with so I will live my entire life poor and#miserable and working dead end jobs that make me want to kill myself. I’m not good at socialization I’m so fucking bad at it so I can’t work#any kind of job that hinges on networking or sales or human interaction which is MOST JOBS but I’m also too stupid for anything related to#STEM. I tried two different stem degrees and flunked out of both of them because I am a FUCKING IDIOT and I know there’s no point in trying#to go back to school for another one. but no degree in anything I naturally have a knack for will help me find a decent well paying job. ill#just be wasting my money to go to school for something like that. and then like. I don’t even think I’ll ever get married and I def won’t#ever have kids. so I can’t even put any hopeful stock in just being happy with a family one day. I know a lot of ppl who don’t like their#careers but they’re fine with that because they’re happy with their family but like I don’t even have that and I won’t ever have that. I#have NOTHING to strive for and NOTHING I am good at that’s meaningful I’m going to fail at having a career and a family and I know that#doesn’t mean I won’t be happy in theory but by societal standards I am and always will be a fucking failure of a person and since I do live#in this society yeah. it’s kinda fucking true. and I don’t know what to do about that. I’m just tired. I’m tired of being afraid and#struggling and going through patches of wanting to kill myself because of this because like what’s the point. I’ll never have anything#better so what in the actual hell is the point of me existing. and I know I’m being ridiculous and my brain is eating itself and none of#this is probably even true but that doesn’t change that it FEELS like it is a lot of times and esp right now and I don’t know what to do#to anyone who reads this I’ll be fine tbh prob as soon as tomorrow like dw about it I just need to get it out so I stop stewing in it.#I’m just. yeah. not having a great time rn but I left work so I’m gonna cry and then maybe sleep for a bit and hope that helps#kaz rambles
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pepprs · 1 year
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having some time alone in the hotel this week (which is abt to end bc we’re moving back home tmrrw even though the renovation isn’t finished 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪) and being able to have the bedroom to myself has made me think rebellious thoughts my family would be very offended over. like maybe i listened to less and less music these last few years due in part to the fact that ive spentmore time at home than i used to and i also lived on campus w roommates in a very uncomfortable arrangement and im unable to move freely about the cabin when im living w other ppl whose needs don’t align w mine and so ive just gotten used to not having all of my needs met and always being the person to take the short end of the stick…. but i actually need to be able to sing and dance and draw and do whatever and when im alone (which is almost never) im able to do that and that’s actually legit and as important as anyone else’s needs in a space i share w them. idk if i worded that well but yeah
#like yes it’s definitely that ive been depressed… but maybe that dynamic creates the depression. you know?#purrs#delete later#not to say this bc it’s BLASPHEMOUS but i was also thinking abt this in the context of my bday. i was happiest in the moments where i was ei#either alone (dancing / singing / whatever and doing karaoke w mtself at 2am LOLLLL and just enjoying having peace and quiet and being able#to do what i wanted) or at work (around ppl i choose to be with in a place i choose to be in). any time i was around my family i was#agitated and annoyed and maybe some of it has to do w the renovation and the fact that we were at home for like 4 hrs moving furniture bc of#the renovation but also… maybe it’s just i don’t enjoy spending ng time w them as much as i do other things. like passively spending time at#around them bc there’s ALWAYS noise or conversation or bickering or whatever. and also in part bc i share my bday w my twin sister so its#not actually *my* day it’s ours and we’re lumped together and treated as a unit and my parents have expectations abt that and whatever. idk.#i don’t want to be / sound selfish or ungrateful for my family or whatever bc being a twin has its perks and my family situation could be so#much worse and it’s not like i had a horrible birthday or it wasn’t acknowledged or whatever. but my point is… what if… there will come a#point in my life… where the majority of things i do / people im around / aspects of my environment are things i get to choose or at the very#least have a say in. what if someday my birthday can just be my birthday and not OUR birthday(which again is the evilest most horrible thing#i have ever said in my life i know i know i know but ummmmm being a twin has dealt some significant psychological damage to me and i am#still figuring out how to be an independent person and how to determine who i am outside of the context of that relationship which most ppl#at this age / stage in life have already had years to do). idk what i was saying i lost the thread but basically: i love having alone time#where i am truly alone and i get to sing and dance and make music and eat and whatever without being yelled at or having to be quiet or#getting overstimulated. and that is not to say that i do not appreciate company or would not want to live with other people. i think im#actually kind of an ambivert now where i used to be very extroverted. but i think my biggest thing is choice. i value choice so so so much.#which is ironic in some ways bc here i am not wanting to like mess up the original layout of my acnh island… idk. it’s situational but i thi#think w the big stuff choicemeans so much to me. and i wish that was more okay to my family than it is bc asserting myself and growing into#my independence has been and will continue to be an extremely painful and unpleasant process bc no one is happy w it lol. ok ive been talkin#talking A LOT more than i thought i would and i still have more thoughts but i need to stop and keep packing out the hotel lol. bye#‘being a twin has its perks’ sounds so terrible omg. i meant that like.. it is a gift to be a twin and i love my sister. AND there are parts#of it that fucking suck ass and hopefully those parts will recede once we are living separate lives and have gotten distance from dynamics
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rotato-potato · 6 months
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me graciously unfollowing ppl instead of blocking them when they reblog thinly (if at all) veiled antisemitic posts 😔
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surshica · 1 year
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RUMOR HAS IT..
: CL16
genre: fluff,angst? (if you squint),social media (smau) + written
warnings: translated french and korean,cussing
A/N: imma just add angst just in case i forget but if you squint maybe it’ll be there? also broken humor here i made this in the morning soo excuse any typos..not proofread btw!
synopsis: charles is in a new relationship with a runway model and fashion icon reader—all is well until a rumor comes around saying he is cheating on you with your bestie.. (fc: tingting_lai)
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc,yourbestie,lilymhe,pierregasly and 828,927 others
yourusername yacht trips with you are always wonderful <3
tagged charles_leclerc
yourbestie y’all are so cute it makes me wanna puke <3
alex_albon werent you there with them…
yourbestie yeah but that doesn’t mean i wasnt third wheeling half the time…
yourusername you literally invited your bf..
yourbestie he fell asleep 😒
arthur_leclerc …slanderous.
charles_leclerc everyday with you is a wonder day mon ange <3
liked by yourusername
pierregasly i think imma throw up
maxverstappen1 me too
landonorris me three
charles_leclerc go away.😐
f1wags beautiful as always!!
user5 check your dms bestie…
user3 drop the workout routine.
user2 okay BUT how does he bag someone like you. TELL ME THE SECRETS
user4 right the math isn’t mathing !
user1 he fr must of bribed her with like a castle in monaco or smthing
liked by yourusername
yourusername i wish 🫤 i kinda just got stuck babysitting him
charles_leclerc that’s not true and you know that…
view 67,223 comments
f1wags
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liked by pierregasly,yourusername, and 30,743 others
f1wags was dmed a photo of what looks to be yourbestie and charles staring at eachother lovingly while yn is away! is this the case of playboy charles returning after years of being in a relationship with yn 👀😉🫣
user1 doesn’t yourbestie have a bf…
user6 yeah and it’s charles’ brother!!
user5 SOMETHING DOESNT FEEL RIGHT
user1 nah..she a brother hopper😭, yn and arthur deserve better
user8 idk where yall seeing the love like eye contact because i for-one do not see it!!
user9 RIGHT like it doesn’t make sense, it was yourbestie who introduced charles to yn so why would she want to get with him now when she had all those years ago to get with him? ppl making stuff up.
user8 it’s like you were reading my mind!
user10 it shouldn’t be our business too!
user3 PIERRE LIKED THIS?!:!he probably knows something we don’t…
user5 @pierregasly spill the beans mister; i know you know all the f1 gossip
user4 okay but why did yn like it too? does she know something too?
user2 yn liking this is definitely giving hot girl revenge arc!!
yourusername now wtf is this?
user13 SHE REPLIED. OMG SHE KNOWS.
user4 YN REVENGE ARC YESSS
user3 charles gonna regret he hurt this girls feelings
user9 we love a good villain arc!
user10 her replying is iconic
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yourbestie
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liked by charles_leclerc,yourusername,lilymhe, arthur_leclerc,lewishamiliton and 682,167 others
yourbestie cheers to an 14 year friendship! you truly are the world to me, you are like the sister i’ve always wanted. i cherish every memory with you, i am greatful for everything you do for me! i can’t wait to see what the future leads us too~ 너무 사랑해요!! i love you so much
yourusername YOURE SO ADORABLE. :( i wish you weren’t busy so we could hang out today, 나는 당신을 더 사랑 !!! i love you more
yourbestie I KNOW IM SORRY something came up last minute but i promise to make it up to you in a girls day<3
yourusername yeah you better.
yourbestie anything for you!
yourusername @charles_leclerc take notes!
charles_leclerc you two are literally just flirting with eachother in the comments…what more do you want me to do:(
arthur_leclerc feel my pain
user3 aint no way she posted this while quiet literally fcking her bff’s bf behind her back..
user7 THIS IS SO CUTE IM SOBBING
user12 not until you find out she flirting with charles.
user9 can y’all take these negative ass comments somewhere else and just enjoy the fact ITS AN 14 YR FRIENDSHIP.
liked by yourbestie,arthur_leclerc,charles_leclerc
user13 i want what they have.
user4 brother hopper!!!😂
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yourusername just posted a story
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f1wags
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liked by arthur_leclerc,yourusername and 29,628 others
f1wags charles leclerc and your bestie spotted roaming around monaco ‼️ charles and your bestie were reported to go on a shopping spree and they looked very happy and giggly. reportedly they came out of cartier with two bags, both were holding a bag. maybe this a sign that these two are actually together 👀🔥
user1 no fcking way..
user3 ON THE FRIEND-VERSARY ??
user6 didn’t she tell yn she was busy..
user13 busy fcking charles..thats for sure
user5 this is more disgusting than i thought
user9 imma give them the benefit of the doubt maybe we weren’t supposed to see these photos!!
user10 we should fr respect their privacy, idc if he is cheating on her or not this is fr creepy.
user7 okay but coming out of Cartier with bags?! now i’m even more suspicious..
user11 i feel so bad for yn and arthur, the fact they liked this too. they need to find better bf and gf fr😭
yourusername 진심이야, 이거 진짜야? 🫠 seriously, is this real?
arthur_leclerc lets not get ahead of ourselves, you guys don’t know what’s going on..
user6 arthur you know what is going on between these two? and what they are doing together?
arthur_leclerc yeah, i know the plans but i don’t like that you guys are jumping to conclusions like this
yourusername 🤔
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a small pout formed onto your lips, ohone in hand screen frozen on the f1wag page. a part of you wanted to be in disbelief of what you saw. charles had told you that he something important to do and bestie name had said she was busy as well. the dots were slowly connecting as if it was a game of squares.
the thought of your boyfriend of almost two and a half years cheating on you with your best friend was not a pleasing thought, scowling at the idea of it. you were sitting down on the couch knees tucked into you, your head resting on them staring down at the phone screen. dozens of thoughts flooded your brain.
is he cheating on me? how long? does arthur know he is being cheated on? are they for sure cheating on me? they’re childhood friends i don’t think he is cheating on me! bestie name doesn’t even like charles like that! am i being played? the thoughts had flooded your brain you had completely forgotten to get ready. the vibration of your phone had broken you out of your dazed state. looking at the caller id it was him. it was charles, the words in bold “lover boy<3” had popped up with a cute picture of him. pressing the accept button you put it on speaker,
yn : hello?
lover boy<3 : mon ange! are you ready?
yn : ..uh yeah im almost ready!
lover boy<3 : okay i’ll be there to pick you up in 15 minutes~
his voice sounded deeper through the phone, a small smile formed onto your lips
yn : where did you go charlie? you’ve been out for a while..
lover boy<3 : have i? désolé chérie je devais faire quelque chose d'important, sorry honey i had to do something important why? are you worried about me? how sweet
charles had a small smirk formed on his lips, he just dropped off your bestie name at her house as he called you.
yn : who said that? no i was just curious, thats all.
yn’s smile slowly formed back to a pout. he didn’t tell her but rather just said something important, it didn’t make her feel any better.
yn : (sigh)
lover boy<3 : what’s wrong mon-
yn : 꿀 honey i’ll you back i need to go to the bathroom.
you quickly ended the call ruffling your hair taking in a deep inhale before getting up to go get ready quickly.
after rummaging through your closet you found a cute brown pleated skirt, to match with it you grabbed a white tank top and black and white cardigan with a black beret. looking at the mirror you smiled at the outfit heading to the bathroom to do some quick makeup. nothing too fancy
charles furrowed his brows at the erupted ending of the call. he didn’t think much of it shrugging it off. maybe you were just tired was a thought he had, not once did he think you found out he was with your bestie name.
you had just finished in time, charles texted you that he was outside. grabbing a small purse putting your wallet and phone in there pranced your way to the front putting on a pair of brown boots you had just bought. the walk to the car felt dreadful. the more you stepped closer more thoughts flew over your head, you were starting to convince yourself that maybe he was cheating on you with her.
you needed to shake the idea out of your head and you had to do it now, your hand was on the car door handle but you hesitated. charles noticed your hesitation, his brows furrowed some more as he leaned over to the other seat opening the door for you. “mon angé are you alright?” he watched you climb into the seat buckling up. one thing about charles, he is a person who is very expressive from the body language to the faces to the voice itself. yn looked at him placing a small peck on his cheek, “yeah im just a little tired that’s all”
charles stared you down he was trying to see if you were lying or not, “well tu sais tu peux toujours me dire n'importe quoi mon ange, si ça te dérange tellement dis le moi. you know you can always tell me anything my angel, if it bothers you so much tell me.” he tucked a piece of your hair behind your exposing your cheek that got what felt like a genuine kiss. the ride to wherever you were going was suffocating, both of you hated it. you cleared your thought brushing your hand against his free hand. “so mister charles where was this important place you went to today?” you wanted answers so you kept pushing for him to tell the truth. 
charles quickly looked and you before looking back at the road, “if i tell you where i was and what i was doing it wouldn’t be a secret mon ange!” he was being very smiley, your lips formed an o shape. “why do you wanna know? are you trying to stalk me?” charles snickered his shoulders slowly bouncing up and down. you shook your head clearing your throat, “i don’t need to do that i already have someone for that..” your tone was bitterly.
you were staring out the window, you didn’t want to bare the sight of him. what if questions flew everywhere you got more upset with yourself you didn’t want them, charles noticed the shift in attitude; “mon ange seriously tell me what’s wrong,” concern laced his voice as he grabbed your hand placing mini kisses on them “, i don’t like seeing you upset. i can any questions you have just talk to me..”
a sigh escaped your lips looking at the pouty monegasque, “why were you with bestie name today? she said she was busy and you said you had an important thing to do today. are the two of you you kn—” your throat throbbed as each word managed to escape your throat, “what?” was all charles could reply with, he quickly parked the car before facing yn.
“rumor has it you were with bestie name today at a mall together..there of pictures of the two of you together charlie” his grip on your hands tightened as each word flowed out of your mouth. “chérie im not cheating on you with bestie name, i would never.” his heart broke seeing you think of all that, “okay but what was important that the two of you had to go to the mall together?” you just wanted to few reassurance.
“well..fuck i cant say it but its a surpise. you weren’t supposed to see those photos seriously, im not cheating on you when i went to the mall with her earlier. we went to go get some gifts for arthur you can even ask him mon amor!” he watched as her shoulders that were tensed up became relaxed. “oh. i’m sorry that i jumped to conclusions so fast it wa—”
charles chuckled letting go of her hand, “it’s okay mon ange. its those stupid fan accounts fault for making you think that.” he said getting out of the car to go open the door for you.
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he had taken you to a nice small cafe, it wasn’t very popular but it was one of your favorites. the honey outside atmosphere was definitely to die for, the way green plants coated everywhere. the two of you sat at what was a four person table. pointing at the two empty seats charles just smiled, “two people will be joining us but they’re running a little late..”
“i didnt get to say this but you look beautiful my love” charles who grabbed your hand the table fiddling with it. “am i never beautiful to you?” you scoffed playfully—charles was taken aback from that comment “no no you’re always beautiful you just look extra beautiful!” charles justified or well he believed. “so you don’t think i’m extra beautiful whenever?” you pouted playfully. charles who was lost for words “no you are just so—you know what i mean mon amour!!” he sighed frustratedly causing you to giggle at his frustration.
“you’re so mean mon chérie~” he scrunched up his face to make it look like he was upset, “i’m not mean you are just easy to pick at!” you justified, “mean.” “no” “mean” “no” “charlie we sound like children..” “well you started it” he smirked making you roll your eyes at him. a comfortable silence fell between the two, you started to believe the other two were just not going to come at all.
“you have pretty eyes charlie” you blurted out without a care, a blush crept onto his face. he didn’t know if it was the compliment or if it was the fact you were staring at him as if he was the only thing that mattered in the world, maybe it was both. “you think so chérie?” he felt the grip of his hand that had been interlocked with yours tighten. “i don’t think so i know so” she had such loving stares it made charles weak to his knees. the stares she gives him make his heart flutter like a teenage boy seeing his school crush, he was always lost for words, he was little butter melting in your touch and stares.
the truth is, he was upset with himself finding out that you had these thoughts, these thoughts that he was cheating on you with your best friend. he wanted to get you a gift and he didn’t want to fuck it up; he believed bringing someone who you held dear to your heart and who knew you best would’ve been the right choice—he didn’t think once you would take it as him cheating on you with her bestie. it hurt him inside.
he had always wanted to show you how appreciative he was of you, he never had the time but now he does. you do so much for him and he wants to thank you for that, the states you give him; they were loving and warmly. the way you love him throughout his career taking time to visit his races it did something to him. from how you looked at him, touched him, smiled and laughed at his jokes, how you talk about him so much to family, how you make playlist about him, and even made sure he felt like he was the priority in everything—it did something for him. since the first day he met you he knew you were the one for him.
the way you made sure you’re there for him after the races and that you were okay made his heart skip beats. he had always felt like the knight in shining armor in previous relationships but with you he felt like the princess and you were the knight. he loved everything about that; it was something new to him something he never would’ve thought he would love. the small cartier box warmed in his pockets. you are always doing stuff for him he just wants to do one simple thing for you, is that too much for him to ask for? he knew he had to wait for arthur and bestie name to get here but he seriously couldn’t.
he thought any longer he waited he would spill the beans about everything, “chérie you know how much i love you right?” his lips parted as his hand slowly made his way to his pocket grabbing the small cartier box. “always know, you tell me like every hour even on the race track” you had teased a smile evident on your lips. “tu sais à quel point je t'aime mais sais-tu à quel point je t'aime ? Je te chéris tellement, j'aime tout ce que tu fais pour moi, j'aime la façon dont tu es toujours là pour moi, peu importe à quel point je fais mal sur la piste de course ou je suis contrarié. tu fais tellement pour moi, c'est vraiment comme un cadeau! you know how much i love you but do you know how much i love you? I cherish you so much, I love everything you do for me, I love how you are always there for me no matter how badly I do on the racetrack or how upset I am. you do so much for me, it's really like a gift.”
“tu es un cadeau que je dois protéger de tout ce qui arrive, je n'ai jamais été doué avec les mots mais chaque fois que tu es avec moi, je fond. tu as sur moi cet effet que je n'avais jamais ressenti auparavant dans les relations que j'avais. you are a gift that i have to protect from everything that happens, i have never been good with words but every time you are with me i melt. you have this effect on me that i have never felt before in the relationships i had.” charles titled his head to the side closing his eyes taking a deep breathe, “charlie what’s this about?” you had questioned sitting up properly instead of slouching. “just promise me something mon amour. promise me that you will be with me no matter how hard times are.” charles slowly pulled out the red velvet textured box from his pocket.
it was a small rectangular box with gold like lettering saying “cartier”. charles had placed it into your hands, “you do so much for me so the least i could do is buy a promise ring.” his voice turned soft, it was silky soft. the box on the other hand was in your grasp you were staring at it, a prominent smile rushed to your face, “charlie..” you had opened the box to see a singular gold band with jewels graves into it, “its a promise ring, a promise that i will love you endlessly.” charles held up his hand showing how he was already wearing his.
“its beautiful…charlie. i love it” you took the ring out of the box putting it on a one your right index finger, “and i promise to love you endlessly.” a blush creeped onto your cheeks, “thank you 아기. 사랑해요 baby. i love you” charles wasnt fluent i.n korean that’s for sure but he knows how to say he loves you, “i love you too mon ange.” he grabbed your hand with the ring on it placing a soft kiss, smiling to himself.
“CHARLES I TOLD YOU WAIT TILL WE GOT HERE.” you heard your bestie name’s voice boom near you, it startled you but it made you giggle. “well you two were taking too long and i got impatient…hurry up next time” he scoffed, your bestie name didn’t let that slide and she started to punch him lightly. “i hope you didn’t fuck it up. be glad i went with you to get the proper ring size!” your bestie grabbed his ear and the two started to fight.
it truly did feel like home with them, “i’m guessing he gave you the ring?” arthur said standing behind you with his hands in his pockets, “you knew?” yn looked at him your lips forming an a line. “of course i knew thats why i tried to defend them but it was no use at that point, people jump to conclusions too much” he shortened a chuckle. “yeah you’re right they do.”
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername,yourbestie,lewishamiliton, alex_albon,pierregasly,maxverstappen1 and 1,827,289 others
charles_leclerc its always rumor charles is cheating on his gf but never rumor has it that charles is still and forever madly in love with his girlfriend of two years.
user8 SEE YALL WERE WRONG ADMIT IT.
liked by charles_leclerc
user9 they’ll forever be happily in love yall are just haters!!
liked by charles_leclerc and yourbestie
user10 my cuties ㅠㅠ
user15 charles yn defender till i die.
user4 SO CUTE OMG
user1 is that a promise ring?? that’s so..i’m melting
yourusername 나는 내 아름다운 소년을 너무 사랑 !! <3 i love my beautiful boy so much
maxverstappen1 soo i dont get to yell at him for cheating on you?:(
yourusername LMAOO NO
charles_leclerc HUH WHATD I MISS MAXIE?
maxverstappen1 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
user13 get me someone who looks at me the way charles looks at yn.
liked by yourusername
pierregasly listen if charles was gonna fumble this one i would whole heartily become a homie hopper‼️
lewishamiliton agreed
charles_leclerc i know where the both of you live…
lilymhe stop i was ready to fight him after what i saw. the two of you are so cute !
charles_leclerc WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO FIGHT ME OR STEAL MY GF??
yourbestie okay where is my thank you? i helped you 😒
charles_leclerc do you not see these comments??
yourbestie i agree tho if you fumbled her i would’ve ended you🤷‍♀️
landonorris we need you on the grid more
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yourusername
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liked by yourbestie,danielricardo,charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 926,518 others
yourusername 기다리는 자에게 좋은 일이 생긴다<3 good things happen to those who wait<3
tagged charles_leclerc,arthur_leclerc,yourbestie
arthur_leclerc SEE THEY CAME OUT GOOD!
yourusername thank you my little photographer!!
charles_leclerc i thought i was your photographer?
yourusername you were busy fighting bestie name…
yourbestie so beautiful they grow up so fast ㅠㅠ
charles_leclerc the loml truly is beautiful ❤️
liked by yourusername
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@ surshica | rb & follow.
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artdecobish222 · 1 year
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🧸 astro observations ✼
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♱ i know so many virgos who are literal drug addicts, like they are either addicted to one drug or more. usually people assume pisces would be more prone to drug addiction but no it’s virgos and I literally don’t know why 😭
♱ ppl always say sagittarius (specifically sag venus) can’t commit, but that’s not entirely true. when we love, we will truly love you and give you our hearts. we just want adventure and freedom and the second we feel like someone’s tryna control us, then bye bye! 🏹
♱ venus-pluto aspects (specially harsh ones like conjunction, opposition, and square) have serious jealous issues in relationships. they are the type to get jealous of their lover for literally just talking to someone of the opposite gender. can we also talk about how people are always obsessed with these natives love life. Like to the point where it gets annoying. these natives could also be very secretive or private about their love affairs/ romantic relationships.
♱ sun or moon in the 10th house attract so much jealous and attention. their private life’s aren’t actually private. because usually something gets leaked to the public. as someone with moon in the 10th I had to learn very quickly not to tell anyone anything just to protect my own inner peace. But usually without these natives control something always gets out about their private life, it’s like people just love talking about these natives, they are always the center of attention in public. Sun or moon in the 10th house are people that are very hard to forget because of their magnetic aura due to being luminaries. Sun or moon in 10th are also known to attract fame in their lifetime.
♱ gemini moons atleast once in their life have created a alter ego or a new personality. this could also apply to any other mutable sign as well (Sagittarius, Pisces, Virgo)
♱ people say geminis are two faced but have you ever met a libra? ☠️ these bitches will talk the most shit about you then smile in your face istg.
♱ have you ever seen a fire moon angry? it’s like a atomic bomb. these natives will burst their emotions out and make sure the whole room knows how they feel. their anger can spread like a wild fire. 🔥
♱ i feel like no one talks about how intense 12th house Lilith is. there is a constant battle between Lilith and the subconscious. These natives tend to deny their Lilith nature, by trying to seem innocent. But the more they reject this side of them, the worst and more vicious Lilith can get. It can feel like this constant inner battle/conflict with themselves until they fully accept this side of them and integrate their darkness with light.
♱ sagittarius and pisces best friend duo >>>>
my first astro observations post! lmk if u and enjoyed and if I should do more, thank uuu 💗
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erzva · 9 months
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⟡ general Jason todd headcanons and how i view and portray him in my works cw. soft gentle clingy needy desperate touch starved jay
i need to start off with certain stereotypes/ways in which he gets potrayed sometimes that i hate with every fibre of my fucking being :
he’s not some aggressive horny flirty asshole jock. he’s grown and too old for that hs bs. like literally he would think of that behavior as annoying, disgusting and stupid
and he’s most definitely (and i can’t stress this enough) not a yandere kidnapper or a stalker or any of that weird bullshit
idk if yall read the comics but he’s literally so caring and sensitive and he would be so gentle and soft. he’d be rather awkward and wouldn’t exactly know how to go about his feelings for someone.
he knows what its like when no one cares and when you grow up in an unstable home or on the streets so he has compassion for outcasts, children, women, non-cishetmen and animals
he’s canonically a nerd. he’s literary and he used to like going to school and learning. ppl always get him and tim mixed up bc tim hated going to school and would rather play video games all day long whereas jason wished he wouldn’t have had to drop out
also obviously very much an intersectional feminist ! he’s read all the books abt it and is actively working against his indoctrinated misogyny
he loves all women but he has a soft spot for woc, fat/chubby/muscular women, women with big noses, you name it. just women who don’t fit the stereotypical beauty standard in general
he’s scared and ashamed of how needy and clingy he actually is. he knows himself (sadly) and it’s not something that he can just get rid of. it’s pent up from early childhood bc he never got enough love and then from after his death bc of all the shit he had to go through with bruce.
this side of him will haunt him until he dies- again. he can’t change it but he sure as hell won’t embrace it either. it’s a secret he wishes he could take to his final grave. actually- deep down he wishes he would find someone who understands and accepts him the way he is and someone who he can trust to be himself with.
!! aroace spec , bi (women+)
he is secretly so incredibly desperate.. desperate for love, intimacy, being understood and accepted, desperate to be touched and hugged- loved.
he’s just so touch starved, he doesn’t even know what it feels like not to be. what it feels like to be loved or happy. to be content. how to not feel like something is missing.
he needs someone to take care of him bc he just does a very poor job at that.. also it feels nice being able to just shut off and not having to think about anything
he wants to be hugged and caressed
gentle touches
he loves forehead kisses and headpats or just your hand on his head and in his hair
he wants to kiss you passionately and deeply
prefers making out and hugging/cuddling over sex tbh
all he wants is to lay in bed or sit on the couch hugging someone who truly loves and accepts him and never let go
switch with a sub/bottom lean
i think it goes hand in hand with him having a sub lean but he’s attracted to strong dominant people. preferably someone who’s a switch too
everybody knows this already but he LIVES for praise
praise him and he’s in heaven. you’ll literally get him to do anything if you praise him. want him to give you head? just be a little clingy and loving, telling him how much you love him and how good he always makes you feel and he’s already dropping to his knees taking off your pants.
definitely a service / pleasure dom
if you’re fem/afab :
eating you out is his favorite thing. he goes in like it’s all or nothing (to him it is). no penetration if you didn’t cum at least once from his tongue.
he loves it when you ride his face and use him to make yourself feel good. there’s not a single thing he likes more than seeing you on top of him.
he loves watching you go from humming and gently playing with his hair to breathing heavily and tugging on his hair- to whining, moaning and grunting while grinding your pussy into his face deeper and faster to finally reach your high
also loves it when you ride his dick. being able to relax a little and just look up at you feeling good because of him makes him moan so much
he’ll also pull you down a lot when you’re riding him just to hug you and hold you close and to hear you breathing and moaning into his ear
he’ll thrust up from under you as fast as he can just to catch you off guard and see your face in pure bliss. he loves it when he makes you cum in this position.
he also loves missionary and the mating press
you know he’s close when he starts holding you close and mumbling/whining your name over and over again
if you’re male/amab :
he loves giving you head and eating your ass and wants you to use him. it really gets him going. it’s bc of his incredibly patent inferiority complex and feeling like he’s a good for nothing piece of shit
he also likes being the one that penetrantes you though. he’ll start begging for praise even though he’s the one topping saying things like “tell me i’m a good boy, tell me i’m your good boy.” “tell me how good i make you feel” “please just tell me i’m doing a good job.” “wanna make you feel good.” all while his big tall frame is hovering above you and ramming into you
a whimperer. he whines and moans a lot, shamelessly. he grunts and groans too. especially when he’s a little bit too frustrated or stressed. and he shamelessly breathes heavily during sex. any noise that he can make will escape his lips. all in all he’s just incredibly vocal and he doesn’t care if people can hear.
he really likes handjobs. preferably with you sitting in front of him so he can look up at you but he also likes it when you’re sitting behind him and you say things in his ear while kissing his neck or cheek and sucking on his earlobe
but he especially loves it when you’re sucking him off and fingering his ass at the same time. add a little praise and you’ll have him whining, whimpering and even crying. he’ll be a mess
he often gets teary-eyed during sex because of how sensitive he is. and i mean both his body and his feelings.
he wants and needs someone who'd accept him for who he is and wouldn't wanna change him. someone who shares the same morals as him and doesn't have a problem with him being morally grey.
he would want someone he doesn’t have to explain everything to. he knows it’s toxic and not really fair but he hates having to put his thoughts into words. he’s not really good at it.
so he needs someone who’s observant and pays attention to details. maybe even someone who can read body language. just so he doesn’t have to go through the uncomfortable experience of having to say that he’s needy and broken out loud.
he wants someone to pay attention to him and figure him out so well that he doesn’t have to ask for things and you instead know what he wants and needs at certain times and just give it to him
he gets pissed and sighs while rolling his eyes when he’s showing clear signs of what he wants and you’re not picking up on it.
it took great cruelty to make him this gentle. but to an extent he’s grateful for it because he now knows exactly why it’s so important to treat people kindly and gently.
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fuumiku · 2 months
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Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization
The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.
If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:
Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.
Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.
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It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.
Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.
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merakiui · 6 months
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we know and love our breeding obsessed tweels .. but there’s an obvious candidate whom I haven’t seen given much attention.. and it’s our favourite apple <3
back in harveston, it’s been mentioned how there isn’t much youngins around .. apart from epel and his cousin .. but in terms of ppl his age??? 0 … so it’d be easy for his family to talk him into stuffing you full and getting you pregnant when you come visit one day… you don’t know that epel secretly introduced you to his family as his wife .. and that the analytical eyes they give you and your body was bcs they wanted to see just how many kids you could handle birthing naturally at a time… truly terrifying how they put this much thought into the time you need to rest before being full with his baby again .. bcs they don’t do hospitals but instead the women in the family use their knowledge (midwivery) to advise you </3
aa just the thought of epel and his family peer pressuring you into giving them kids and continuing the family line has you feeling all guilty </3 like it doesn’t matter what u want bcs you’d be doing it for the betterment of the village! how they convince u that eventually, when u become a mother, you’d find happiness that comes w it .. (silly reader … your choice and wants never even mattered in the first place! bcs if you showed resistance they’d just drug u and put u to sleep w epel’s unique magic and get u pregnant anyways </3)
truullyyy terrifying! beware of dear grandma’s sad puppy dog eyes knowing u refuse to give her great-grandkids! (lies … she knows what she’d doing </3)
also! can I be epel felmier anon? 🍎💜
OMG THE SOMNO POTENTIAL WITH EPEL'S UM........ how could I have missed it,,, it's literally called Sleep Kiss. T_T uuuwaaaa Epel wanting to practice his UM and you agree to let him practice it on you because surely it won't have any negative impacts, right? But he puts you to sleep and somno ensues...... or he puts you to sleep and the other first years are around as well. >_< you're like a practice pussy for them......
If anyone's going to gaslight and manipulate you into having children, it's all of Harveston. ;;;;; and most of them do it unintentionally. They just think it's so darling Epel has a best friend (read: wifey) like you who is the sweetest thing they've ever met. You and Epel make such a cute couple (of hopefully expecting parents). All of Harveston dotes on you, showering you with affection every time you visit. You're practically part of the village by now. Whenever you come to visit, whether for a holiday or a break, Marja always welcomes you with open arms, as does the rest of Epel's family. But it's Marja who is especially pleased to see you. She checks you over, asks if you've been eating well at NRC, asks if Epel's been looking out for and taking care of you, and so on.
I feel like the entire village would throw such a huge celebration when you finally become pregnant. They make such an event out of it; it startles you at first, but Epel explains this is just because there are so few children around and everyone, especially the elders, are so very excited to finally see the village grow and become more lively with young folks! You'll have everyone's full support before, during, and after your pregnancy! They are just so fond of you and are always encouraging you to eat lots (of foods that improve fertility, but you don't need to know that...).
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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year
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Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language
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I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD
It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech
Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))
So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??
But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly
It goes smth like:
So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.
Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 
Lookin’ at you Kazuha.
.
And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 
Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating
And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.
And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)
Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)
And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech
..
...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.
Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact
Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply
So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature
 .
(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)
(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)
____
So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",
And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 
And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."
You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."
Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."
You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 
.
And it just keeps happening, lol
.
(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)
.
Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning
.
...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??
You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 
Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao
.
(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)
.
You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 
lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)
.
Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)
ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??
(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)
.
Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.
.
It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit
Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.
You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀
.
Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,
Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,
It got so old so fast.
.
(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")
.
On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,
I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things
(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)
And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 
They're amazed and oh, 
you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 
(Bad examples include:
Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"
You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 
*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard
JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!
Thanks for reading this rambling!!
Or send in asks abt this 👀
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
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sunnybyler · 2 months
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i’ve been sitting on my thoughts for so long but i just have to get this off my chest. i don’t like to yuck ppls yum so if you like e/riel pls scroll away nd keep having your fun it’s not my problem. however some of y’all can get mean as HELL and as an elucien i have to get this off my chest. (also warning for gwynriels i’m with y’all i defend y’all here however i do go in a bit on az in this so fair warning). i truly have no idea why e/riels cling so hard to the azriel bonus chapter in acosf because that chapter, more than literally anything else in the series, proved to me that e/riel is absolutely NOT going to be endgame. let me explain:
1. it is explicitly stated that azriel did not think of his relationship with elain outside of a sexual nature. i think some ppl get kinda annoyingly puritanical when trying to make this point when it’s like 100% certain lucien had sexual thoughts of elain too. the point isn’t the thoughts themselves. the difference here is the explicit mention that he didn’t consider anything with her outside of that.
2. the point above ^ is further exacerbated by the fact that az did not give a flying fuck if he killed elain’s MATE. even if elain hasn’t accepted the bond, it would still be extremely painful for her based on what we’ve seen with rhys, feyre, and even rhys’s parents (who weren’t good for each other, yet we saw how rhys’s dad lost it when she died). now of course us lucien lovers know damn well he would never in a million years call a blood duel to try to claim elain (and fuck u rhys for saying that, i usually have your back but come ON you are not the only male who can respect their mate’s autonomy). but az doesn’t know that!? in fact seems to agree with rhys that he could. ppl argue on who would win that fight — my opinion hinges 100% on if powers are fully unleashed but that’s not the point at all. no matter WHO wins, elain is going to feel responsible for someone’s death. of course it wouldn’t be her fault if men decided to be fucking stupid, but with the little we know about elain shows that she would feel so guilty if that happened. but azriel doesn’t seem to give af that anyone fighting to the death over her is the last thing she would ever want. not only did az not think of elain outside his fantasies and therefore not fully care for her, but he doesn’t seem to even KNOW elain in this chapter. now, i could go in on this in acosf as a whole. but i’m keeping it to this chapter alone.
3. and further on THAT point, az doesn’t really give any reasoning on his interest in elain outside of this insane “three brothers/three sisters” thing he fully pulled out of his ass. tbh i almost thing this is sjm’s way of addressing the fan theories on that. now i get it to some extent from az’s pov — seeing his brothers happy with these sisters must fuck with your head after you’d all been bachelors together for 500 years. especially considering how he’s felt unworthy of love his whole life and this seems to support that insecurity of his. i get that it makes him feel ostracized from them, and that he’s now an outlier not being with an archeron. i get that. i do. i sympathize with him here. however that does not change the fact that he isn’t speaking of elain like she’s her own individual here — hell he fully calls her “the other”. i think part of this conversation was him being frazzled, i give him a bit more grace than some do (tho he pissed me off BAD in this scene), but we were fully in this man’s head. did he give us a full reason why he liked elain besides his brother’s mates and his sexual thoughts?? they would’ve at least crossed his mind when rhys was grilling them if sjm was trying to set up her next romance here. as it is, we have literally nothing to imply azriel actually likes elain herself and not the idea of being closer with his brothers.
4. az has kinda a habit of ignoring the reality of the women he’s attracted to in some way. he has his own version of them in his head that he puts on a pedestal. now i could do a whole psych eval on this man and how he thinks he’s unworthy of love and therefore only allows himself to have feelings for women he knows/thinks he can’t have. but to focus on this chapter alone, my points above ^ about how he doesn’t really think of elain outside his fantasies/bringing him closer to his brothers and not really understanding her pretty much wraps it up there. i mean he even talks about how he thinks his scarred hands don’t belong on her because she’s so perfect in his eyes. that’s not love, that’s obsession and it’s unhealthy. he clearly thinks himself below elain and ignores that she has her own flaws too.
5. aaaand i saved the biggest for (almost) last….. GWYN. this is a genuine GENUINE question. why in the fucking hell. would sjm make half the chapter focusing on az & gwyn if she was teasing e/riel. like that makes no sense. not to be annoying and mention chekhov's gun but that idea applies to relationships too. i’m sorry but she couldn’t be more explicit about her future romances. you could argue “oh well it’s because there’s gonna be a love triangle”. y’all. elain has. elain has a mate. there already IS a love triangle. there was absolutely no reason for her to bring gwyn into this chapter other than her preparing us for a future relationship, literally none. especially with all the romantic subtext (hell not even subtext, just TEXT). gwyn getting him to talk about himself so easily when he’s so quiet usually, him taking the idea of making her happy and he “buried the image down deep, where it GLOWED QUIETLY” (which SCREAMS mating bond to me but even if it’s not it’s clearly something he cherishes deeply), the SHADOWSINGERS SHADOWS SANG FOR HER!?
6. the fucking necklace regifting. oh it’s bad. OHHH ITS BAD. when the girls realize it’s gonna be SO messy but im hoping sjm doesn’t go the stupid cat fight route bc neither of them did anything wrong. az did. i’m sorry i’m dunking on him so much in this post i rlly don’t hate him i just think he needs like decades of therapy (which tbf don’t we all) which i unfortunately don’t think sjm is going to give him before giving him his romance. but even the biggest azriel lovers have to admit that this was insanity. a few points on it here. first, if it’s so easily regiftable then it couldn’t have been that well thought out in regards to elain. say what you will about lucien’s gifts, even argue that he gave her jewelry too. but elain was actually shown wearing pearls. az’s gift seemed shallow to me — it was something pretty, and elain’s pretty, and it had a flower, and elain gardens. it’s clear lucien put SO much more thought into his gifts, whether he succeeded or not (which i need to remind y’all — we still don’t know. maybe she liked the gifts maybe she didn’t, but regardless she acted the way she did bc of her feelings about the bond, not the gift). and azriel has spent so much more time with elain than lucien has. if that necklace really felt like elain to him, he could’ve kept it or returned it. but nope. buddy gave it to a whole other girl bc he could easily associate it with someone else. he clearly felt some special pull towards gwyn too, going out of his way to give it to her. he had ONE meaningful conversation with her. i already discussed the quote earlier that makes me think mating bond personally. but no matter what, him giving her the same gift he gave someone he was pursuing romantically is a clear sign of what’s to come (and probably a setup for some sort of drama that i don’t think im mentally ready for).
so there we have it! why i think that the bonus chapter thoroughly proves that e/riel is not going to be endgame. i honestly think it’s possible they might be a thing for a minute (tho i could also see this being the closing of that chapter), but i don’t think it’s going to last. sjm just gave us too many blatant hints that elain and az would NOT work together long term, and that azriel in particular is more suited for someone else. i might’ve missed some points bc there is SO much that goes down in this tiny chapter so lmk if there’s other stuff you picked up on!
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gvtted-ratz · 3 months
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read all our tags/ratings. they r important n give u all u need 2 decide if u wanna actually read or not. do not like the tags/rating? do not read.
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Soft To The Core
König x M!Reader
Last Edited: 03/01/23
TW: death mentioned
AO3 LINK -> HERE
anon: 4 with König and he/him male reader. That is all <- frothing at the mouth but being SO COOL about it (4. accidental touching!!!!)
Word Count: 767
Notes: hey again bestie… i see u. i have our dms about the man n u frothing btw. Also. ik absolutely nothing about guns n stuff so uh. oop ig… also. i made the reader like. kinda techy n speak some russian? i was listening 2 gore by graveyardguy as i wrote this just so u know. Didn’t influence much of the thing but the title is definitely from the song.
You hum as you clean your sniper rifle; the disassembled piece of metal all over your lap. Usually, you would be around a table or even in your own assigned room. However, today they had a mandatory room check. While you didn’t mind it, having all the tables and sitting areas taken out in the cafeteria as well as the shooting range didn’t help. This leads to you sitting underneath a small pine. It’s fairly young, being only large enough to cast enough of a shadow to give you cover from the sun.
While you don’t mind cleaning your gun, making sure your laptop was in better shape or needed to be put back together was more interesting. While you’ve done it a hundred times before, for you, it never got old. You enjoyed taking apart the electronic gadgets and putting them back together. Seeing how they work and even improving them intrigued you more than going out on the field and sending bullets people’s way to splatter their blood everywhere. The missions they assign you in KorTac have been nothing but boring or a pain. You’ve never actually trained for this part or even with the rifle at all. You are more of someone who hacks cameras, reads coding to try and find anything that could give enemies away, and even disarm some bombs via the tech you have on hand during said times.
Now, while it’s not something you prefer doing, you can’t help but enjoy at least one of your members. König, or King as many call him, is your favourite man. Despite his awkward social interactions, he’s never been particularly rude to you. Nor has the giant Austrian ever tried to get on your nerves. He keeps to himself mostly, leading to you having to seek him out if you want company. Sometimes he’s out and about, though he’s either alone or towering over the other soldiers.
Of course, that doesn't mean he’s not deadly. You’ve seen him out on the field. He’s truly a rampaging beast. He picks up enemy soldiers and cracks their backs over his knee. He’ll gun them down or snipe them, giving a laugh or giggle. He’ll yell out in a happy tone “I have some cash!” whenever he gets his hands on even a single coin. He’s wilder and more brutal. And you couldn’t help but notice. However, despite noticing it, you didn’t treat the man any differently.
A large pair of military-issued boots appear in front of your crisscrossed legs. Looking up, you see the man you’ve been thinking of as you cleaned the barrel of your gun. “Ah. König,” You say, giving him a small smile. “Привет! How has my favourite man been?” König’s hands are loosely holding each other, nearly touching his stomach with his chosen position.
“Ah… Ich meine, es lief gut…” He says, looking uncomfortable standing there. You gesture to the ground next to you, letting him know that he can sit beside you. With confirmation now obtained, König lets himself fall into a seated position right next to you. He ends up knocking his knee into your thigh; you wince at the sharp pain but laugh it off.
“I’m so sorry..! I did not mean to hit you. Bitte vergib mir!” The large man starts to apologize immediately, already beating himself up over the accidental touch. You wave him off, trying to make your smile softer to try and reassure the Austrian.
“ нет, нет! Все хорошо, ты в порядке!” Your words seem to calm him down a bit, despite him not exactly understanding your words. “Besides, König, I say you’re sharp as a knife but Soft To The Core.” You’re not sure why, but the words felt right to say.
“Ja? Well… They do say beauty is on the inside, Freund,” He tells you; a nearly inaudible chuckle escapes him. You feel another smile pull at your lips at his words.
“They sure do, мой возлюбленный. They sure do.” You mumble. With some silence between the two of you, it’s easy to hear the shout of one of your captains letting you all know that the mandatory room clearance has been finished. You playfully smack König’s shoulder, clasping it as you stand. “Let’s go back, да?” When he gives you a nod, you shove your gun parts into the duffle bag you brought just for it. “Let’s go then! Maybe we can grab some food once these bozos clear out.” With those last words, you take the lead, König following behind you quietly and with genuine happiness shining in his eyes.
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lains-reality · 8 months
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q&a
a q and a of most of my asks
basics
where do i start?
what do ppl who follow ND have as a "goal"?
is it necessary to read the book?
could you simplify non-duality in a few sentences?
how do i observe ego?
how do i practice letting my thoughts and emotions pass throughout the day?
i feel like i keep going back to my human body-self-mind. how do i stop this?
how do i just apply?
do i have to quiet the mind?
how is life a dream and also self?
if we choose what to take real or not, is ego truly real?
how to stop battling the ego?
who's the one thinking? Who's the thinker?
thoughts that come up in the mind and thoughts that don't
how to not get involved with the ego?
realising Self instantly?
my thoughts won't stop?
other questions
i am still trying to understand the concept of space-time.
does continuity not exist?
does remembering the past make it current?
what is imagination?
is detachment important?
what is self inquiry?
why would consciousness express in this body? why does manifestation exist? why do we still suffer?
ego worries
how would one approach in the dualistic perspective of being rejected, the need for validation, not feeling chosen?
i have to give up?? but i have a life and responsibilities?
how do i deal with the worst time of my life? / i've put my life on hold (tw: health problems, sa, death)
my ego lives such a boring life
my ego, how to make it stop calling me delusional? i have anxiety
dissociation and nondualism
how do things happen?
even if thoughts aren't me, they still limit me (+ how to view everything as self?)
if i really can't understand non-duality is it better to just go back to loa?
for people who want to ask more 'practical' or 'ego' orientated questions about circumstances than spiritual
progress
how do I remove the urge of trying to let this click?
I don’t actually really know how to apply any ND knowledge
i get really confused why they say stop trying to realize that you are oneness
i'm trying so hard and nothing is happening!
it feels like i'm just forcing myself... / self inquiry
am i supposed to just keep observing this character till what? what should i do now?
i can't understand anything...
desires / choosing a different character
materialisation
"nothing is materialising!!"
what's the point of all this detachment if nothing seems to materialise?
how do we "choose a different character?"
is this not like loa?
using nondualism as a way to get something material?
If we are not gonna change the world through non-dualism then through what we can change it?
i need to manifest instantly please help
i don't understand what to do about desires
how do i fix a big problem?
what will take care of the problems?
what is the point of being God if there is no desiring?
sp question
void state question
i don’t understand how when i imagine something is already happening?
i have to do something i don't want to do...
changing the past
how to just choose what i want?
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support-ponies · 1 month
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MOD PAGE (mobile friendly)
🐶🐕MOD KIBA!!! ☕🍩
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Heyo!!! I am KIBA! You might know me more as Typhwosion! I am she/her but I don’t really care what pronouns ppl use for me. I made this blog to try and make peoples days a bit easier with cute and happy ponies~ I love doggies and coffee and plushies! My favorite ponies are Applejack and Maud and Trixie and I love RariJack💖 I hope I can make your life a bit brighter with my silly drawings~ My husband is Mod Dynamo! Here’s my carrd to all my other socials and here’s all the art i’ve made on this blog. ૮⍝• ᴥ •⍝ა 💖💛💙
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🐱🐈MOD DYNAMO!!!🧡🍊
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I’m Dynamo and I’m here to support the sweetest girl in the world with some Arty McArt™ and stuff. I like cats, video games, and cheese (not necessarily in that order.) My favorite pony is also Maud. If you like my art, get ready to not see much of it here if ya dare. (And here is all the art he’s made on this blog) ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
And here are all the collab art we’ve done together, Dynamo usually does the sketches for these and I ink and color them.
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MOD MORI
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Howdy everypony! I’m one of the new mods, you can call me Mori!
I use He/Him and I’m transmasc + bisexual andddd my favorite ponies of the mane 6 are Fluttershy and Pinkie, though my heart truly lies with Luna. You know how it goes. My sona is named Astral Beryl and I’m hoping to become a geologist and/or voice actor, but for now I draw ponies because… Well I really love to! I hope they can help brighten your day!
Also as a note my art style is going to be… Wildly inconsistent and I apologize beforehand if certain pieces aren’t as nice as others. Such is the way of art and wanting to try new things like drawing more consistently.
o/ Stay hydrated party ponies! Hope to see you around!
ART TAG / MAIN BLOG
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MOD PIXEL
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Hello everypony! I’m Pixel, also known as @fruitypieq :3
I use he/they/lun/luna and my ponysona, Night Peak, uses she/he/they. My favorite ponies are Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance, and of course Sunset Shimmer too!
I am not sure what else to put here but I’m very excited to be here, its nice to meet all of you! I’m excited to start drawing your requests and I hope I can help make your day even a little better!
If you enjoy my art you can find more of it on my main blog, or on my art blog, @fruitypieq-art! Have a wonderful day everypony!
ART TAG / MAIN BLOG
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MOD WILLOW
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Hiya! I’m Mod Willow! I use any pronouns and so does my ponysona, Cece! I’m intersex, intergender, transmascfem and lesbian. I am currently trying to get into school to become a therapist but art is one of my biggest passions! I love helping and inspiring people so I hope my art can do that for you all <3
I love all the ponies but my very favorite is Princess Luna, and my favorite out of the Mane Six is probably Fluttershy. I’ve been in the fandom for about 12 years and I’m very happy to be contributing to it in any way I can!
Have a lovely day and stay mindful!
ART TAG / MAIN BLOG
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MOD APPLEJACK
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Hi everypony, I’m mod applejack! I’m a 22 year old mlp superfan who has a special passion for G1 although all gens have a place in my heart. I love to cook, read, and draw for others. My other special interest besides mlp is beekeeping; I’m actually a certified beekeeper myself! I’m so happy to become a part of this amazing blog and support those who need it<3
ART TAG / MAIN BLOG
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MOD FAELING
Hi all! I’m a new mod here! I go by Fae or Faeling, and my pronouns are she/her. I’m a 30 years young autistic artist who has a love for helping bring positivity to others! ✨
I currently haven’t made my ponysona so it’s still in delvelopment but when it’s done I’ll be sure to edit and add it in this post!
My favourite generation is Gen4 and my favourite MLP is Fluttershy! I love how gentle she is and her love for animals, it matches my personality so well!💕
I am happy to be here, I have a love for drawing positive art, as I do the same on my own social media’s art accounts but not just MLP characters, all sorts of different cartoon and anime characters with positive quotes!
I’ve always wanted to help others in some way and doing things like this has always made my heart feel like I’m doing something good in the world, you all deserve encouraging and positive words to get through your days! 💕
If you end up liking my art, you can always find me at @faelingmagic on tumblr or all my other socials at http://linktr.ee/faelingmagic
I look forward to drawing for you all!
ART TAG / MAIN BLOG
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drenched-in-sunlight · 2 months
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One thing I truly wish for from the DLC is a complex portrayal of the relationship between Marika and Messmer. I highly doubt that Messmer will be depicted as a “momma’s boy”, but I also don’t want to see Marika portrayed as a cold, abusive mother who banished him for some unknown reason. He could have done things to deserve banishment, but we don’t really know anything as of now.
My point is, I want to see a different dynamic in their relationship. We have already seen Marika throw her Omen twins into the sewers because the Golden Order dislikes the Omen. I have some hope that they will try something different with Marika and Messmer’s relationship compared to what we have seen so far with Marika’s other children.
After all, Messmer is the only one so far to acknowledge her as his mother. Not to mention, the statue of Marika holding a baby (likely Messmer) is the only statue that depicts her in a positive light.
it's interesting that you phrase it as "Marika throw her Omen twins into the sewers because the Golden Order dislikes the Omen"... since i don't think that's what happened. at all.
even before the DLC trailer i didn't think she heartlessly tossed the twins aside, and after the DLC trailer i believe that even more.
"Those stripped of the grace of gold shall all meet death. In the embrace of Messmer's flame."
there is a convenient executor for those shunned by grace, if Marika wanted the cursed kids gone, why hid them right underneath the capital where any nosy peasant could wander in the sewer, instead of just sending them straight to Messmer ... literally no one would be able to sniff out the kids since they aren't even in the Lands Between anymore.
Marika's relationship with her children can be interpreted many ways by different ppl, im not here to ruin anyone's fun, but in my house i don't think her actions came from a cold, uncaring place. all the established relationships in canon now are already complex, if you look at it in different ways.
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soullessjack · 28 days
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🔥 jack
oh my godddd I have so many unpopular opinions where do I even start….HOLY DISCLAIMER BATMAN!
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anyways so in no particular order or tier system:
✯ i don’t think jack would wear anything feminine im sorry spn fandom. for lolz he has same-outfit-pattern-everyday autism and for serious it’s like. Really weird how fandoms tend to HC/portray non-binary amabs (and men/transmascs in general) almost exclusively as GNC or fem-presenting…like DGMW that is a real and valid form of self expression but it’s not the Only type of non-binary expression that exists. and honestly…**dare I say that most fandom/queer spaces just need to realize that queer masculinity exists and it doesn’t always have to be a matter of breaking gender norms??
** genuinely do whatever u want idc I can’t stop you i don’t want to stop you yada yada. paint his nails and put him in a skirt all u want but Please recognize patterns yall 😭
✯ more headcanon complaints (see disclaimer above ⇧) but I promise to switch it up soon. anyways every time somebody on this lil website says something along the lines of “Jack can’t handle/doesn’t like [insert violence, scary or adult-oriented thing], he prefers [soft or blatantly childlike things]” I shrivel inward like a dead spider. It’s annoying, it’s completely inaccurate to his canon personality and interests, it’s annoying ˣ2, and whether ppl wanna admit it or not—it stems from infantilization. not necessarily ableism, as infantilization is not exclusive to disabled people, but still just about the same thing.
honestly all I see of majority jack headcanons are ones that set him back to just being a child or otherwise being treated like one. for example, the one about him being able to shapeshift is pretty cool...until it just becomes about him deciding to age regress, yknow, to an age set he canonically chose not to go through, showed no desire to be in, and is more offended than anything to be considered as such. all of his interests have to be some shit like bluey or animal crossing, and he drinks apple juice from a sippy cup instead of beer. BARF.
I’ve lessened on my keyboard warring over babyjack in the past year but I have not lessened in being a hater. and I’ve said this before, but the baby-jack au already breached headcanon containment a long time ago when it’s not only so widespread that ppl take it for canon and it makes having any intelligent conversation about him nearly fucking Impossible, but it also lead to harassment and accusations of being a fucking predator, to anyone who dared find a whole grown man attractive. any potential jack ship, like jackharper? automatic grooming case to them. it’s like the fandom is just so dead set on this idea that jack really truly is a child in every aspect you can think of, and for what? if it’s just a headcanon, something you know is not part of the actual show, then don’t go Travis the Chimp levels of apeshit when you see him being treated like he is canonically 💀
unpopular opinion numero 3 which is slightly connected to 2:
✯ baby-jack and a handful of the domestic au’s are BORING (see disclaimer again ⇧), not just on a surface level to my suiting, but also because I feel like it just ..misses the point of the show?
the ragtag untraditional found family is now as nuclear and traditional as the Atomic Age. Dean and Cas are the most heteronormative “who wears the pants in the relationship” gay couple ever, Sam is demoted to the uncle that gets written out of his own family, Jack is just there to make his gay dads look cute and emphasize that they’re a gay family (while still being very heteronormative), and at least 5 of them could be found in a California gated community. everything that made any of them unique or defined their personalities is just scrubbed off, even for an AU.
so much of the later seasons focus on Sam and Dean realizing that they don’t have to make a hard splitting decision between the lives they want to live; that they can find a balance; be happy and have good things—namely families—without giving up hunting (and vice versa, that they can have hunting without giving up on family or happiness). everybody loves the gay hunters from S10(?12?) and what they represented for Dean, but I almost never see that be put into practice in the fandom.
THEY’RE ALREADY DOMESTIC!!! AND WITH THAT PERFECT BALANCE!!!! Season 13 quite literally gave Team Free Will a surrogate son to raise and established them as a family; highly untraditional, largely dysfunctional, overall not fitting of a family family, and yet they are a family still. Dean wears an apron and cooks and bakes for everyone; he built himself a man cave and established two separate family night events that they all ritually keep up; Sam has a morning jogging routine and visits his girlfriend every so often; Jack was taught how to drive, has normal chores like washing dishes, and gets groceries. And they didn’t just have that while fighting monsters—they had that while fighting a whole fucking archangel. Even if it did go down the gutter by the end, they still had it: domestic familial bliss and violent messy hunting without having to trade one for the other.
✯ I truly genuinely think Jack’s relationship with Dean is the best, most interesting and most misunderstood out of the three, and I also think that the problems with his relationship to Cas and Sam are hugely overlooked by the fandom—granted they are very small, especially if you’re comparing it to Dean, but they’re still there and I think we should bully Cas and Sam about it more. I shan’t elaborate because it’s 5AM and this was an impulsive add-on ❤️
✯ getting normal now…his plaid pattern jacket from the first half of Ouroboros is ugly as SHIT i have never liked it and don’t think I ever will. but I cannot deny it; he got that shit on.
✯ most unpopular opinion of all, I wanna do insane shit to his cervix 🙌
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shellxrls · 2 months
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okay someone asked but I can’t find the post, here’s my tips on shifting.
first of all, it’s all about belief, as long as you fully believe that you can do it then you can (this gets much easier when you’ve done it for the first time cause well, you know you can do it)
you don’t need a script or anything like that!! some people prefer it but it’s not a necessary thing! though for beginners I would recommend it because it just helps get ur thoughts in place!
always be safe when shifting!! make sure to have safe words in place!! but also know that it is not possible to get stuck in ur dr! safe words just make it easier.
use subliminals! but be careful with these, make sure to use ones you trust. some of them can have horrible messages or manifestations in them.
okay so I tend to use a method, you totally don’t have to tho. I just find it makes it easier for me.
I’ll share the method that I use because I’m not sure if I invented it or if it’s just uncommon. I thought of it anyway.
the tv show method
- get comfortable and calm. I recommend guided meditation to ground yourself!!
- put on your favourite tv show, and really concentrate on it for a while, make sure you’re fully invested in the plot and that it’s what’s taking up most of your mind.
if any other thoughts go through your head that’s fine!! just let them pass.
- when you feel ready, imagine that you’re watching the show in your dr
- visualise your dr, the things around you, the sounds. try to feel the feelings that you might be feeling. notice things.
- say affirmations if you would like to. or count to one hundred. Or just keep visualising.
- when you feel ready to shift, close your eyes
- concentrate on the sound of the tv show and say affirmations
- visualise and affirm until you feel that you’ve shifted
- open your eyes when you are certain you’re in your dr!!
good luck <3
- rafe shifter
ANON BABE THANK YOU SO MUCH. if i’m gonna be honest, all this talk of shifting is making me want to try again sooo badly. i’m so grateful that you guys are giving advice and stories as well bcuz it truly motivates me sm !! i might start creating a visual diary/moodboard for now and then when i get back from my spring break trip rlly try with the intent to shift. the tv method also sounds great so i might try that when i do intend to shift.
although i haven’t shifted yet, i’d love to give my take as well bcuz quite a few ppl have asked for advice, and i think it wld be nice just to have the perspective of someone who has been rlly into shifting, but hasn’t quite yet achieved it !!
try to do basic research initially just to get a proper framework of shifting and have enough knowledge to keep up with the main linguistic terms (e.g script, cr, dr, etc). i’m not sure what the best current resources available for that is, but i know amino used to be great for finding shifting communities, and i bet tumblr also has good resources. although don’t overload yourself, it’s good to get diff perspectives but remember shifting is largely a personal experience and so ultimately whatever you choose to do has to feel write for you. for example, as rafe shifter said not everyone has to have a script, although some do find it rlly helpful as a resource.
for new shifters, don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen immediately. i know a lot of ppl shift to get out of a bad situation/mental state, but i personally think a large part of the energy it takes to shift is mental, and so to achieve that you should try to take care of yourself and nurture your mental health as much as possible— the more you focus on caring for yourself and your mind, the stronger it’ll get and the easier it’ll be for you to shift <3.
now for my own experience, i personally used to use the pillow method and the raven method the most, although looking back i feel like they were limiting bcuz due to the sleepy sort of state i used to be in it wld make it difficult for me to truly visualise my dr. however, one method i’d highly recommend is the estelle method (i’ll explain it in a sec), it sounds kind of strange but honestly it was the closest i’d ever been to shifting and i truly never recovered r from that fraction of a second where i literally felt myself in my dr. i can still picture it to this day and its own of my biggest shifting motivators <3.
ok anyways, here is the estelle method explained:
Step 1: Get in position. You can lay stand/sit/lay you want as long as you're comfortable.
Step 2: Play a song. Preferably something you associate with your dr or something that lets you feel connected to it. While this song is playing you’re going to imagine slow dancing with someone from your desired reality. It can be anyone: your s/o (i recommend this one lol) best friend, enemy— anyone.
Step 3: Imagine. I recommend closing your eyes for this to truly be immersed. You don’t have to actually dance, but play out the whole scenario in your mind and rlly let your imagination loose, try to imagine the landscape and the scents, anything you can. When the song ends, imagine the person from your desired reality letting go of you and saying "Y/N, it's time to go home." After they say that, they should lead you through a ‘door’.
Step 4: Affirm. Once you are inside the door, you are going to do "I am" affirmations (I am shifting to my desk reality, I am in my desired reality, etc.) anything that’ll help cement your belief really.
Step 5: Finished. When your vision goes black, you can open your eyes. You should be in your desired reality.
i think it’s a very beginner friendly method, it’s great for visualising esp if you have a song that you strongly associate with your dr and you can even have fun with it bcuz i find it’s not as exhaustive as other methods !!
remember to be safe and take care of yourself darlings !! feel free to pop into my inbox with questions for me (or rafe shifter anon if she doesn’t mind) about shifting as well, i’d love if we could have a whole shellxrls shifting community lol.
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