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#but fr that got me in my feelings I like all the characters a lot
crescencestudio · 3 days
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๋࣭⭑ Devlog #41 | 5.28.24 ๋࣭⭑
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It's hot girl (/gender neutral) summer season
HAPPY MAY!!
Hope you're all doing well <3 We're already getting into summer, which is a little crazy to me. The year is flying by! Before I get into what we actually did this month, it wouldn't be a May devlog without our annual Mermay celebration!
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Look at those locks. His Ariel/Rapunzel era fr
Since I already had updated Mermay pieces for the Alaris LIs, I decided to do one for our beloved Van this year ^^ Hope you all like it!
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For writing this month, I spent a lot of it catching up on Etza edits. Being totally transparent, I wasn't Completely Happy with their route when their draft was finished. But now that I've started the editing process with Wudgey, I'm really excited to see how their route is shaping up!!! We've been fleshing a lot of little interactions out with their route, and I can already see Etza's character really starting to shine with these edits ^^
I've also been chipping away at Kuna'a's route! While it's nowhere near finished, I'm hopeful that this upcoming month will be the month of Kuna'a now that I don't have a bunch of releases I'm trying to balance. His route is also one of the ones whose outline is more fleshed out (Druk and Etza I would say were the least fleshed out, which might be why they also took a bit longer). So I'd love to see Kuna'a's first draft complete/almost complete by the next devlog!
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This month, I had to dust off my art skills tbh LMFAOIJSDF. It's been.... a WHILE since I've made CGs since I've been in the writing and coding dungeon for so long. So most of this month's art updates are me getting tilted from redrawing an ugly sketch over and over.
I DID manage to get the Van Mermay piece out. And I also was able to sketch out Kayn's Tragic End CG; that leaves only one CG that has to be sketched out! Currently, six of their CGs are finished, two need to be rendered, and one needs to be drawn still.
And since Kayn's CGs are mostly done, I've started drawing Fenir's. I was actually able to finish one because I basically Locked In when I made it, so here is a sneak peek!
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Kisses his little pink nose
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You might notice there's not toooo many updates on this month's devlog. The reason for that is because this month, I spent a lot of it recovering both mentally and physically. April shenanigans and those back-to-back releases took a lot out of me, and after going full speed basically since this year started, I learned I REALLY needed a break. That coupled with the concussion I got made it so that most of this month was focused on recovering and then getting back into the groove of things.
Another thing I tried to focus on this month was finding a balance in my workflow. Going into this month, I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every day, in large part because I have a lot of big things I'm trying to accomplish this year. Between finishing my dissertation, Alaris, and a personal big event that I have to plan, I have a lot on my plate this year, and it's made it easy to get overwhelmed as the months pass by. So I wanted to find a balance between all three that didn't make me feel like I was also falling into insanity. After talking to beloved Wudgey of @herotome fame, I've started adopting a schedule that gives me enough structure and flexibility to feel like I'm making progress without going crazy and getting lost in the sauce.
While it's still early in the process, I'm really happy with the balance I've hit, and I'm feeling much more like myself now compared to a month ago!
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I caught up on quite a few things in my backlog this month, which made me happy ^^ I always like to learn from and support other devs, so finally being able to return to that helped with the recovery process <3
I don't have any actual fanart pieces, but there are a couple of games I'd like to highlight!
First of all, of course I must talk about our hot girl (/gender neutral) summer cross-promo. If you haven't checked out these games, I can't recommend them enough!!
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Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!
Specifically, Save the Villainess, The Good People, and Thorn for the Villain are amazing games if you're into thriller/political games layered with mystery
The Silent Kingdom (which I played recently and is AMAZING) and Dual Chroma (Otojam 2023 ALLY) have added mechanics of RPG for exciting action-adventure fantasy stories
Lost in Limbo, Obscura, and Snow White Ashes are BEAUTIFUL dark fantasy games. I've played all three of these and they have some of the most beautiful writing and visuals... BIG FAN OF ALL OF THEM.
Mask Beyond Lies and Sigh of the Abyss have that epic fantasy adventure appeal to them, in a way that I think is similar to Alaris! And Pearlglow Cafe (another Otojam 2023 ALLY) is a very lighthearted and charming game for those of you who like the comfy vibe that most of my stories have!!
Some other games that I played are Favor (@favorvn) by beloved @concreteparasite which is SOOOOO stylish. If you've played Binary Star Hero by Connie, you can expect that same stylish, dark, sultry vibe from Favor. If you haven't checked out either of those games by Connie, I can't recommend them enough, especially if you like yanderes. There is so much aesthetic and atmosphere to them!
I also played Where Winter Crows Go by @prikarin who is a VERY talented developer (and one I'm sure many are familiar with). I had a lot of fun romancing Crowe and both the MC and him have such strong personalities, it was so fun seeing their dynamic!!!! The CGs were also made by anta, who is the dev behind Thorn for the Villain, and they're BEAUTIFULLLLL. Each one has so much style and rly has a professional look to them. Can't recommend enough if you haven't played already ((heads up that it is another yandere game for those who can't do yandere!))
Okay I've yapped enough. If you've made it this far, you are god's strongest soldier LFMASLDIFJ. See you all next month with hopefully some exciting progress!
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endemise · 1 day
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long ramble, progress update, & potential release timeframe below:
hii! i got a lot of coding done and i think im finally satisfied with how the game looks (for now…)
here are some screenshots of what some of it will look like on mobile!
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the friendship and romance levels shown in the relationship menu are just random as is the blurb for Aesop’s thoughts, they’re just for the example! (also characters thoughts are hidden by default, you click to reveal, then hide, them)
the stat bars were giving me hell but i finally figured them out with the the help of some forums and tumblr posts
i liked how in when twilight strikes by evertidings, the menu buttons (i.e. profile, stats, relationships) are listed at the top of the page so i took inspiration from that! and the many IFs that have a splash (?) screen at the beginning with the title
compared to when i started using twine (i think august 2023 was the first time i gave it a try), i’ve learned so much and there’s still so much to learn as well, i think coding has become my favorite part (making things looks pretty hehe)(with the help of amazing templates & ppl smarter than me, they do the heavy lifting fr)
with all the coding done (appearance wise) it’s lock in time for the revised prologue and chapter 1
the prologue has undergone a fair bit of change with the help of feedback & i’ve (hopefully) better established the setting and story.
some things that have changed besides wording and sentence structure, etc.: being able to choose what you did as a job (ex. working at the family inn) and meeting a new character (more like an old friend?)(no spoilers:))
some things i’ve been considering (SLIGHT SPOILER FOR CH.1 MAYBE): merging the revised prologue and chapter 1 into just the prologue bc chapter 1 differs a bit from the other chapters, but then the prologue would maybe be too strange timeframe wise? it’s a time skip after the events of the prologue (is that considered a spoiler, i don’t think so but???) that connects to the next chapters so maybe it’d just be better as its own chapter? or dropping the revised prologue by itself along with the updated ui/appearance then chapter 1 sometime after, or dropping the revised prologue and chapter 1 together, idk these are all just ideas i’ve been thinking about maybe i’ll do a poll
if you have anything you’d like to see, for example a specific job your MC worked, certain personality traits, or something like that, feel free to let me know & i’ll take them into consideration! i think now is the best time to add things bc it’s early development days & it’ll be easier to do so now than later
i’ve also decided to lean a little more into the supernatural aspect which i’m excited for (one specific thing really, i can’t wait to get to it🤭) the story’s world itself is fairly grounded in reality (as in the supernatural is unknown to most) but i’m looking forward to exploring it more
what you’re probably reading this for: depending on how i end up going about the prologue-chapter 1 merge decision & whether anything is added from requests/feedback, i’m aiming for a june release, july at the latest (fingers crossed). now that the appearance and function coding is complete (besides stat/choice tracking & other story related things), finishing the writing and coding it in is all that’s left
my schedule has done a 180 & some things are less than ideal at moment but it should all (hopefully) go smoothly from here! should anything change, i’ll let you all know
anyways, that’s all i have to say for now! ty for being patient & for reading this mess, i appreciate you all :)
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coquettebratzdoll · 16 hours
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Speedrun-> Name? Athena | Age? '07 | Pronouns? She/Her | Race? Black | Hobbies?Journaling, Reading |
MASTER LIST
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ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
I see you've made it to my page. Welcome ! This is a quick navigation guide to get to where you need to go. Before I begin, why don't we get to know each other ? I'm sure we'd be great friends ! Careful, there are rules on how things work around here. The journey begins ...
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To your left, you'll see all my informative posts. I talk about a lot of topics, and there are many more to come. Take a peek and see if you learn anything new !
Persistence
Myth of subconscious mind
Overconsumption
Manifesting is easy
Vaunts
Struggle
'I remember when...'
Stop trying
More to come ...
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And to your right, you'll see my random thoughts. Watch me progress as a person and just say random shit on the Internet 🗣🗣🔥🔥
Thoughts abt shiftok
Hot take
Laziness pt 1
Laziness pt 2
Thoughts on affs
What is common misinformation you've seen ?
What is the most main character thing you've scripted ?
How did you get into shifting ?
More to come ...
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While you're here, why don't you check out my mutals ? I'm sure they have something you're after. Love yall smmmmm
@ningsols -> they're a very cool person in general. got that dark aesthetic goin on. they also make notion templates which is very cool and useful !
@livingmydreamlife5555 -> they combine shifting, loa, and the void (three for one package fr). mostly reblogs but their posts are also informative
@vixilic -> she mostly reblogs but she is an absolute sweetheart to be around. 10/10 bestie material fr
@reiashiftsrealities -> funny person in general. istg there isn't a day that goes by where I am not laughing at smth they wrote. their blog is great for motivation !
@diagyuuuu -> #1 txt fan fr. they mostly do reblogs but they do have some interesting posts
@livingsecret -> they mostly do reblogs but their advice is very helpful. overall a very sweet person !
@astrstqr -> she posts a lot of info about her many drs which you could use as inspiration. a very pink, brats doll, early 2000s sorta aesthetic that I vibe with
@multiversal-wanderings -> she mostly does reblogs. she definitely has this serene vibe around her that's nice to interact with
@xstrawberryshiftsx -> definition of pookie fr. so sweet and energetic. very interactive too !
@zomb13pup -> newer acc on here. she does some reblogs but her posts are really informative
Join my simps !
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Looks like we've reached the end. Any questions ? Check here to see if they have been answered (or if you question is on the list). If not, feel free to ask ! Be mindful of the rules though.
Before you go, don't forget to follow ! I appreciate it :)
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loldental · 4 months
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Literally I’m so in my feelings over better Nate than lever like oh my god. I’m going to cry.
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astrxealis · 25 days
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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thedrotter · 1 month
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thought about it for a little bit and realized re:kinder got me out of a drawing slump thank you re:kinder for changing lives... it's was a while since i felt this satisfied with my art and drew this much till this game popped up in my life . forever changing lives thank you re:kinder whatever would i do without you
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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@ father time can we run it back to june so i can make a joke really quick
#snap chats#sorry I Only Legally Go Here but still i have to make a pride joke. i blame vegeta. dont know how i just will#spoilers. for smile. i fucking guess#ANYWAY am i surprised that my theory was right No it was p obvious but still i liked how we got to the conclusion. anyways.#i was just fence sitting on smile the other day LMAO naw i liked this scene i really did#i feel like i have to make the strongest disclaimer ever as if anyone actually thinks this is about queerness and say the context is--#tf it called when your parents have diff ethnicities ANYWAYS THAT. ITS ABOUT THAT.#but yeah no it can be about That too. i guess. if we want. lol#the show doesnt really focus on vito being filipino/japanese all too much. which is surprising to say and a lil disappointing#like its relevant but not overly so which. dont know how i feel about it yet like ig i get it ??? idk ill have to review later#but anyhow its why i like this scene i finally got to have my He's Just Like Me Fr moment </3#unfortunately nakai's character isn't also filipino/japanese. no pinoy represent 2x. he's korean/japanese WAH SPOILERS#but still a lot of what was said in this scene resonated really personally with me#i wont get too sappy and sentimental about it i just appreciate. being validated in some way idk#its not a fair comparison probably but still its nice sort of seeing a character that has similar issues and thoughts to me#and i guess that can apply to both. instances. if we catch my cold LMAO dont make me say it#ok bye uhhhh i should probably watch the next episode#big trial episode..... then i just have two more eps... then garden of wind time...
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dirkxcaliborn · 9 months
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I'm trying to think if I like any white haired characters...
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urfriendlywriter · 1 year
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prompts for your characters having a crush:
(no because 9, 16, 20, 21-- I'D KILL FOR IT TO HAPPEN TO ME :') (feel free to usee and tag me when yall writeeee :) )
tries to deny it. tries to undo it.
"yo, you seem to like [name]?" "SHH, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT SO LOUDLY??"
they're having a crush on you and they offer to help you a lot!
"you know I'm always there for you, right? :)"
that 0.001 second of eye contact when they catch you staring at them. WHAT YOU DIDNT NOTICE WAS THEIR SMILE AFTER!!! (which means they've a crush on u too dumb bitc- CHILE ANYWAYSSS)
bumping into each other in the hallways
slightest of physical contact and it sends you reeling into another universe
them being so oblivious and continuing to do all the adorable things they do
OR they know what they're doing because they fell for you first. like leaning over you to hear you better, cupping your face to take a fallen eyelash!!! OR patting your head often :))
hugging and hearing their heart beat rise
thinking they have a contagious laugh
them trying to confess to you but you're so oblivious it hurts!!
"[name], what do you think of us?" "us?" "you and me, us, love."
avoiding them to stop your feelings from growing further
"you've been avoiding me." "someone's got a braincell."
"we're not like how we used to be, [name]." "my bad for catching feelings. don't worry I'll get rid of it-" and they get kissedddd "took you so long to confess, love :)"
craning your neck to see if they're there (bonus points if they're already looking at you)
having a good laugh together!
walking home together and your hands graze e/o's
^ and they slowly take YOUR HAND IN THEIRSSS W RIZZ FR
"he is sick so i spent the night in his.." ".... YOU ARE CRAZY WHAT DID YOU DO?? ARE YOU IN LOVE [NAME]??"
"you have pretty eyes." "oh? oh. i- thank you? °\\°"
feeling tingly around them.
using codenames when talking about them with your friends!
"hey, are you sure your crush on 'pineapple' is one sided?? they look at you with a twinkle in their eyes."
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kaitlynpcallmebeepme · 2 months
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Sea Sickness
Sea Sickness
Luke Hughes x fem!reader (established relationship, but still new)
Idea: Reader gets nauseous from being on the boat at the Hughes’s Lake House and snuggles up to Luke.
Requested: Nope. 
Author’s Note:  I know I’m bouncing around who I’m writing for, but I’m on a NHL spree right now. I also get nauseated if I'm on a boat or in the ocean for too long. Fun Fact: I wrote the beginning part of this on a note card while working by myself in the OR today. We had a really long case where I just had to check up on people during the middle of it (hence why I wrote this on a card because I don’t like going on my phone when I’m in the OR. It's unprofessional). I don’t know any of these people personally. The closest I’ve gotten to the team (that wasn’t just playing in the band at the games or when they were walking past us down the 2023 red carpet in tampa) was a tuba was talking to some of them in his plane row on the ride back from that trip (he ended up being the tuba you see in the senior picture from 2024) and one of the coaches had to share our bus on the way back from the 2023 frozen four game with his wife and two young daughters (I kept trying to get the younger one to smile at me unsuccessfully).  Someone from my hotel room also shared the elevator ride up with the entire Fantilli family the night they lost that game in 2023 (I think Adam also won the Hobey Baker award that same night). I’ve also been playing my lego lord of the rings game. Anyway, enjoy this little blurb.
Tagging some of my favorite Hughes/NHL writers, love y’all.
@wineauntie @thedevilrisen @winterbarnesblog @sc0tters 
I forgot to mention that this is kinda based on the cute stuff @bedsyandco writes
I'm now sad when I'm uploading this because a friend from college drumline has an incurable brain cancer. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers (he's only 19 or 20).
Requests are still open.  Feedback is always appreciated.  Also, tell me if you want to be part of a Tag List and I’ll tag you when I upload something new. If you want to only be tagged when I upload something for a certain character or shows, let me know as well.  
Warning: None, just general fluff. Feeling sick on a boat. 
Word Count: 488
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Being on a boat wasn’t your most favorite thing in the world, mainly because the last time you were on a boat, it got stuck in the middle of the laek and had to be towed back to shore (true story), but when your boyfriend Luke invited you to spend the weekend at the lakehouse with ihs brothers and friends, you weren't going to say no. The weekend had been filled with lots of eating, playing outside, and the boys being competitive at every game they pick up (even the old board game you brought to teach them how to play).  Just trying to keep up with them all was exhausting, so that’s how you ended up on the back of the boat enjoying the warm air instead of diving into the water again.  The boys had been going back and forth between wakeboarding and chatting on the boat deck. With them supplying the lake with plenty of waves, the constand up and down was starting to make your stomach sick.  You scooched over and made yourself comfortable laying your head on Luke’s shoulder.  He then opened his arms and wrapped you in his warm embrace so you could crawl on his lap and snuggle closer to his chest. 
“You feeling ok?” 
“Yeah, just want to stop the constant movement.” It was getting to a point were you just wanted to stop the constant movement.  It being really hot out didn’t help either. 
“We’ll head to shore soon. Then we can cool off inside.” 
Being wrapped up in Luke’s embrace with his fingers gently carding through your hair or down your shoulder leaving goosebumps in their wake and shading you with his fit body definitely helped keep your mind off of your stomach and the boat’s ever shifting movements.  Luke wasn’t much of a pda person, but you always encouraged him to show little bits of it at least in front of his family or close friends.  
Little did you know, that’s exactly who was eyeing the interaction.  Jack, Quinn, Trevor, Cole, and Dylan all had stopped what they were talking about in favor of watching the interaction between you two.  Eventhough they were not all related, they felt like proud older brothers seeing Luke be so considerate and affectionate in front of them.  Of couse they’re all going to tease him relentlessly later about this, but they were gentlemen in regards to respecting the timing and the moment.
“Just lay down and close your eyes. We’ll be on shore soon.”  You snuggled deeper into Luke’s neck keeping your eyes closed and focused on his soft skin, his natural scent, and the way his warm body curled around yours. He even tugged on your legs to pull you fully into his lap as his large frame wrapped around your body fully encasing you in his warmth and comfort. 
Nothing better than enjoying the summer with those you love.
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velvetures · 10 months
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Hi!!! I saw your post about taking some requests so I thought that I'll give it a shot. If it's possible, could you maybe do a Captain Price one? I haven't seen a story about him yet on your page, so I hope that this request can finally add one to your masterlist.
So here it goes: A Price x virgin!reader one. I feel like he's the type of guy to be really gentle and slow when he realizes that the reader is inexperienced, mostly due to his calm and caring nature. But once they start to get comfy, he'll get kind of rough in some way? And aftercare, I just know that this man would be an expert at it. Would help in washing them up in a tub or even cooking them a meal after. I could see that he's also a sucker for cuddles and just being close to them in general.
So yeah, I really hope that you'll consider this request and possibly write something out of it. If not, that's totally okay!!
Side note: I just wanted to say that I love your stories and that it brings me comfort, too:))
I Knew, Sweetheart
A/N: I'm so sorry this is so fucking looonngg!! I just couldn't get it right and I ended up going for "better is more" in the hopes that it'll hide the god-awful writing. :( Anyways, please don't burn me at the stake. It's my first Price fic, and I've still not got his voice or character dialed in. Summary: Reader is Price's gf, and while they've been together for a little while... sex hasn't come up. Nor the fact that the reader is a virgin!. Reader goes about bringing it up a little unconventionally, and things progress. T/W: virgin!reader, fem-reader, NS/FW 18+ ONLY, p-in-v sex, fingering, unprotected sex (don't do that IRL), established relationship, a little bit of an age-difference?, cursing?, first-time anxiety?, aftercare, probably missed something else. proofreading is for people w/ friends of which I have none.
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John Price set himself apart from most of the men that he often worked alongside when it came to matters of his personal life and the ways in which he operated. A lot of people would often make jokes, saying it was nothing more than his being an “old man” who couldn’t adjust to the newer ways of life. But fuck, he wasn’t that old when it came right down to it, and yes he liked going along with the traditional ways specifically when it came to relationships, at least when he had the chance to. He’d been a lot younger at one point, not seeing how detrimental his actions could’ve been affecting the women he associated with or spent a few hours in bed with just to leave without another word sent their way.
Captain Price knew he’d made many mistakes when the heart was involved. He threw away a lot of advice he’d been given growing up -some good and some bad- all because he thought he knew better or had enough intelligence to figure it out as he went. Much of that changed when he started realizing that he wasn’t fulfilled in the slightest. For a few years, he was bitter over the emptiness. Not understanding where it came from or how the fuck he could get rid of it. Unraveling layer after layer like a frayed pair of jeans, John kept questioning how he’d come so far just to be that alone. Praying his mistakes hadn’t destroyed his chances of finding a little sliver of humanity outside of his work to motivate him. Keep him sane in the most bitter of hours, and soft when everything and everyone else around him kept adding brick after brick into never-ending, emotionless walls.
Then you showed up out of nowhere, sitting on a barstool in one of the pubs he frequented when he had some time away from his work. Close to home and nowhere near busy enough to call a bar or club; John immediately thought you looked like you’d taken a wrong turn and wound up in an old man’s hangout. It took him a few hours of watching out of the corner of his eye to finally weigh the options of being shot down, or possibly making something out of a whole lot of nothing. His offering to buy you a drink led to taking a few puffs off of his cigar outside. From there he learned just about everything about you within the first few weeks of seeing you or calling here and there.
You liked to talk, a lot. Something John was thankful for since he developed a bad habit of just staring at your pretty face instead of listening like he knew too. Fuck it made him feel ten years younger. And that was something else that made your relationship feel unusual to the Captain. More than six years in age difference didn’t sound all that significant on paper. Yet it was more interesting than either of you thought it would be initially. Aside from just simple pop culture references and enjoyment of music and other low-stakes things, your lives were on different paces. John was stable… at least as stable as his work allowed for. While you’d finally got the job you’d been dreaming of, and hadn’t been working for a full year when you met him. Everything all together challenged John, and you as well, with figuring out what you wanted from each other. How you planned -or wanted to- go about making that happen. And if being serious was something that you shared an interest in.
A few months of going on dates and John walking you home was traded for him sharing half the dresser drawers in his bedroom with you. He was gone nearly all of the time, which put a damper on things but he liked having peace of mind that you were safe and in his home. Besides, it was a short drive from his house to your work and you could stop paying half your paychecks on rent and start saving it up for anything you really wanted. At least… anything John hadn’t already bought or given you. Well… there was one thing John hadn’t given you. And it began gnawing at your mind harder and harder every time he went away for a mission and came home without the slightest inclination to do more than give you a kiss.
John Price still hadn’t asked or hinted at wanting to have sex with you.
At first, you thought it was refreshing. Seeing a man old enough and patient to understand that sex wasn’t just given but earned. Yet every time you thought there would be a moment after a date or a ‘welcome home reunion’ where he’d finally bring up the topic, your expectations fell short. Plenty of excuses floated around your brain, including the more rational ones: he was just very respectful. While others were much more self-conscious and saddening: he was getting it somewhere else, or he could see that you weren’t experienced. The age-old struggle of being a virgin past the age of eighteen.
Too old for half the population, and far too young and inexperienced for the others. Sheltered didn’t describe you. You had toys and knew how to give head as well as having been on the receiving end. But going “all the way” eluded you by some miracle or curse. Looking at John in comparison to yourself was just as attractive as it was intimidating. You knew better than to think he didn’t know his way around the bedroom. He was just too smooth. Far beyond any man, you attempted a relationship previously. You wanted to think he respected you, but at the same time, waiting for much longer for him to make a move just felt like another eternity you lacked the patience and confidence to endure. So after a long night of overthinking and wondering how you could even go about bringing it up, you made a decision that when he got back home from his latest mission, you’d be the one to bring it up.
God your hands were sweating. He was supposed to have been home two hours ago and there was still no sign of his truck in the driveway or a single message from him on the phone you had gripped between your damp palms. Everything had been just fine all day, until the sun began to set over the hillside in the backyard, leaving you less than six hours away from John coming through the door. Worried didn’t even begin to explain how your stomach was tied in knots with a low burning fire in your throat. John had been nothing short of perfect -save for being gone so often- and you knew there wasn’t a single reason for you to be so overwhelmed at the mere thought of being an adult and asking him to have sex with you. Of course… You made up your mind to omit that you’d never done it before and just hoped the Captain would be too preoccupied with something else to notice.
Noticing the details quickly got turned around on you when the front door creaked open on its hinges and you hadn’t the slightest clue that John was standing halfway through the threshold with bags slung over his back and a small look of curiosity on his face. His pretty little thing, sitting on the couch with her arms wrapped around her bent knees and a deep stare somewhere far away from the both of them. He had to admit it wasn’t the first time he had caught you sitting with your eyes “comfortable” as you liked to call it; however, it was the first time he’d seen you wearing something quite that lacy for no damn good reason before.
Some kind of black, strappy, and frilly little number. It hardly left anything to the imagination, and John had to force himself not to go into deep thought about how you’d even got into the thing without instructions. It made your figure that much more eye-catching, and after staring at nothing but rain and mud for two weeks you were a sight for sore eyes. Even a Captain had to admit his biggest weaknesses to overcome himself and improve, but he wasn’t sure in that second if he could ever overcome -much less forget- how divine you looked. Honestly, he didn’t even know you owned it to begin with. But by the way, you kept spinning your phone in your hand, he had the vague gut feeling that you had something on your mind. A little more than dinner or fussing over the possible injuries he could’ve sustained while gone.
“Waiting on someone?” He asked lowly, trying his best not to startle you too much. Right away your eyes locked on his and widened. Almost like a little rabbit cornered by a fox and no hole to scurry into. He watched a flash of sudden panic overtake you and how quickly you reached for one of the throw blankets at the end of the couch to hide behind. Price chewed his tongue, forcing himself not to smirk at you at the moment. Wanting so badly to tease you a little bit for looking so sexy in that bodysuit, but acting nothing short of the little shy church girl getting kissed on the cheek for the first time.
“J-John,” Your voice sputters on his name a bit, forcing a smile to his face. He couldn’t help it after being away for this long without the chance to hear you even over the phone for a few minutes. “You’re home a little late.”
He nods, guilty. “Delayed flight. Weather kept us from movin’ out on time.”
Careful, he dropped his bags off at the front door without the slightest concern about how long they’d sit there. More important things were swirling around in his head. Trying to decipher if you were planning something and just backed out, or if you just needed a little bit of coaxing to not be so shy. Hostage negotiation wasn’t something he thought would ever come in handy when it came to interacting with you, yet John found himself rounding around the chairs on the other side of the living room from you, and planning each step he made to ensure he didn’t spook you. That lingerie wasn’t for nothing, and he desperately needed to know what you planned on doing with it.
He licked his lips, taking a steadying breath. “What’s under the blanket, sweetheart?”
You swallowed thickly, “N-nothing… I thought - I hoped it’d look nice,” Fumbling pathetically for an excuse, you finally spit one out all under the very soft and lightly amused eyes of one John Price. “It doesn’t fit.” The second it left your lips, you internally cursed yourself.
John’s eyebrows raised, instantly grabbing onto that loose thread and pulling on it. “I’m sure you’re wrong about that…” He came closer, standing just in front of you on the couch with his hands on his hips. “Come on, why don’t you let me have a look? I’ll give you a second opinion.” His words made your heart stutter, and you weakly shook your head in response.
“I should just return it.” You mutter, scooting over to the side of him and attempting to sneak off with your protective blanket.
You’re not even close to getting away from John when he chuckles, one arm curling around your shoulders and the other getting a firm grip on the material you’re hiding under. Naturally, you don’t exactly fight to get away. But a furious blush breaks out over your cheeks and neck, feeling the preverbal trap tightened around your throat. He’s turning around and sitting down on the couch with a nonnegotiable silent order for you to take a seat straddling his lap. That alone is enough to drive you up a wall with anxious feelings. Not that you’d never sat on his lap before -actually it was quite common- but under these circumstances, there was a lot more than just a little bit of heat passing between the both of you. Very slowly, John found the edge of the blanket and slipped a hand under, searching out for your skin and eventually landing on a little bit of the lacy material stretching in a high cut over your hip. You can actually see his eyes darken, tracing along the hemline and mentally picturing what was under his fingers. Touch alone was making you squirm, avoiding eye contact and trying to keep quiet so as not to embarrass yourself even more than you already felt.
“Oh, sweetheart… fits like a fuckin’ glove.” He whispers lowly, hand palming your asscheek and toying with the thin little string that disappeared into the cleft.
“It’d be a shame for you to get all dressed up… go through all this trouble… then not let me see your hard work.” His voice lulled slow and steady, swaying your fears just enough for you to feel your head nod up and down a couple of times before letting the blanket fall off your shoulders and pool on Price’s lap. The front of the bodysuit had been well-hidden up until now, with you sitting so lady-like in his lap. But the thin straps just crossing around your tits and holding them up without a single stitch of material covering them totally, John thought he’d been shot right through the chest. Between the innocent look in your eyes, and that damned outfit making you appear about as sinful as hell, he couldn’t keep from letting out a low growl and squeezing your ass just hard enough to make you gasp.
“This is what you were trying to hide?” His breathlessness couldn’t be masked, nor could the frequent shift in his eyes between your practically bare chest and eyes. John chuckled, hands drifting towards your hips and up to rest on each side of your ribs. Pushing your tits together just a little bit, almost bewitched by the sight of you like that on his lap. “Oh, you’re such a pretty girl…” He muttered, almost to himself.
Shifting in his lap, you tried to keep your growing arousal and nervousness under control. Each touch set you on fire, and with John moving this slow you couldn’t be sure you’d live long enough to see another day. It was too good feeling a man actually appreciated a woman in front of him. Not just finding the small bits and pieces he preferred and overlooking the rest. You knew being nervous was natural, but the more John rubbed and soothed, it was getting harder and harder not to whine or ask him for just a little bit more to satiate you. Right away, John’s eyes darted up to you, and something you couldn’t quite describe flashed through his eyes just long enough for him to lip his lips and sit up a little straighter, pulling you to sit straddling just one of his thighs.
“I think I know what you want, sweetheart.” He smiled so damn affectionately that it made your heart jump. “But just so I know… why don’t you go ahead and tell me, that way I don’t miss anything. I don’t like to disappoint.” Toying with the zipper of his sweater, you suck in a nervous breath to steady your nerves.
“I want you to, have sex with me.” You hardly whisper the second part, still drawing your own attention towards anything minute that could serve as a focal point with your body shaking so badly.
“Hmm…” His thoughtful hum sends shivers up your spine, and the feeling of his hands massaging your hips makes it hard to breathe. “So I was right,” A smile crosses his face. “Well then, how about you go ahead and take care of this.” He growls a little, his fingers slowly tracing over the barely-there strip of fabric covering your core, already soaking wet with your arousal. Your little moan slips out before you can even try to cover your mouth, and John’s fingers slip away like he was purposefully trying to be mean and deny you a taste of relief.
“John, please…” You whimper, hands resting on his shoulders hoping he’ll take mercy on you.
He just shifts down to rest against the couch a little more and bounces his knee a few times, sending jolts of extreme sensation right up your clit into your lower stomach. You didn’t get it at first… what he wanted you to do. But now you did, and John almost grinned when he saw the realization, followed by the shy look you gave him. Encouragement was needed, and he was more than happy to deliver. Slowly rocking your hips back and forth along his pants, purposefully having settled you on the side that his thigh-holster was strapped to, adding two extra ridges that instantly began working to overstimulate you. It was too good, and not enough. Pushing your inhibitions just a little further out of focus and forcing you to really focus on how nothing more than his thigh was getting you to a release quicker than any toy or trick you’d tried on yourself. Impeccable alone, it was his low voice right in your ear that made everything outside of John Price holding you on his lap disappear.
“Doin’ so good, sweetheart…”
“Making me feel bad for not helping sooner… If I would’ve known how needy you were.”
“That’s it, love. Keep going, want you to let go. Right on my lap, then I’ll take care of you.”
His lips suffocated your moans and whimpers, swallowing each little pleasure and claiming it as his own. John hadn’t taken his time like this in years, but damn it was special seeing you -his pretty little thing- so needy and whining his name. So sensitive to the texture of his cargos that he was actually wondering if you could withstand something more… purposeful. God, he hoped you could. He wanted to tase you so bad after feeling just how wet you were. Fuck, even the dark khaki color of his pants was getting darker with each little jerk and grind of your hips. Thighs twitching and clenching around him like you couldn’t get the right angle, and were slowly getting more pathetically and innocently frustrated. He needed you hungry though… wanted to ensure that this was done properly. And if it meant withholding from you just enough to make sure you were desperate, he’d bite back every urge he had to give you everything right away.
John knew right away that you were a virgin. Either by just his ability to read people or by the way that you didn’t particularly use sex appeal to draw him in right when you first met. You weren’t innocent of how you looked though, and always dressed and acted much to the benefit of being seen as the valuable woman Price always believed you to be. Yet it didn’t escape his curiosity as to how you’d been able to slip through the grasps of so many disrespectful and predatory men who would’ve done anything to have taken their chance at you. Fuck, he was thankful beyond belief. He hated thinking that you could’ve needed to experience pain or discomfort at any point… but he never asked you simply out of respect and the knowledge that at some point the topic would come up. Only, it didn’t come to fruition quite like he expected. In fact, he never imagined that you’d had your first orgasm with him riding his thigh while sitting on the couch in his house. He wouldn’t change it for a goddamn thing, though.
In the moment, he’d wanted nothing more than to hear you. After hearing so many little whines and pleas for his help, he knew you’d sound so beautiful. But his own intentions fell to desire when he crashed his lips to yours, taking those cries of pleasure for himself. There would be plenty more to come for him to bask in the sound of. The first one though? He needed it. It was his to taste and keep forever. Alongside the taste of your pleasure, he relished in your shaking legs and the harsh bite of your nails digging into his shoulders hard enough to feel through two shirts. He felt your desperation just as deeply as his own, and while his cock straining against his zipper was not totally lost to his attention, John could easily stave off his own needs to make sure you were satiated just as thoroughly as deserved for coming on his pants like the good little things you always were.
“Good girl… You did so good for me, sweetheart.” His rough voice rumbled against your ear as his kissed you softly.
Petting your hair and rubbing his other hand down your quivering thigh. As much as he wanted to keep you right here and not disturb your come-down, he wanted you in bed. Needed to see you laid out like he pictured when jerking his cock after weeks of pent-up stress needed a release. Fuck he wanted to take you slow in his bed and wake up in the morning with you wrapped around him and the smell of sex on the sheets. Before you could really even catch your breath, John had you spread out on the bed with him staring down at you almost astonished. You were just as affected, seeing the heavy outline of his dick parallel to his zipper and ending just at his belt. His eyes caught your lingering, and he chuckled, biting his tongue with his back teeth before squeezing himself and shrugging like it wasn’t the hottest thing you’d ever seen him do. The little gasp you let out only gave him that much more confidence to keep teasing you as much as he’d been.
Slowly, painfully, stripping off one piece of clothing at a time and letting it drop to the floor. Eyes locked on yours like he was getting off to how you reacted to each little inch of skin that was bared to you. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought he enjoyed all of the attention on him. When in reality, he was just mesmerized by how in awe you were of him, looking like a war-torn soldier with his scars and hardened body. You were holding your breath for the moment he pushed his underwear down off his hips, standing downright predatory with his fist tight around the base of his thick and glistening cock. If you ever had a moment of hesitation about doing this with John, they dissolved in that single moment. Because your next movement was to reach your hands out, wiggling your fingers for him to come closer.
“What would you like?” He asks, coming to stand at the foot of the bed just out of your reach.
“You.” You answer a little plainly, making him chuckle.
“Not quite specific enough, sweetheart.” His eyes drop to your body hugged in that black outfit and he bites at his cheek. “But as much as I love you in that, I’d like to see you take it off.” A very easy request. Had it not been for your inability to reach the little snap at the back that kept you tied into all of the lace and straps. So, you very politely raised up and sat on your knees with your back to John and gave him the sweetest look you could manage.
“Give me hand, Captain?”
He nearly ripped the fucking thing off.
The moment he had your seduction tactic of clothing balled up in his fist, he felt the first little surge of his common sense holding him back a little bit. Base instinct screamed for him to sink into you as quickly as possible. But feeling your hands rub over his chest and your shy little kisses to his neck reminded him of circumstance. Pinned against your belly, his cock twitched in response to your teeth grazing accidentally over his collarbone. You were about to whisper an apology when John wrapped a hand around your throat to tilt your head up and suck hard just under your jaw. He liked when you did that… The thought gave you a little bolt of satisfaction. One that progressed into your hands sliding down his stomach until your fingers curled around his thick shaft, earning a warning sound of a moan deep in his chest.
“So fuckin’ soft…” He murmured against your shoulder, kissing it hotly and slowly rocking his hips against your hands. Teasing himself. Edging closer to try and raise a little bit of resistance so he wouldn’t spill his load on the bed long before he was damn well ready. Your silky little hands spreading his arousal over his length only lasted for a few minutes before John was pulling you away with heaving breaths and a flush breaking out over his cheeks.
“Too much?” You ask a little giggly when he lays you back and crawls up to kneel between your spread legs.
His reaction is one of raised eyebrows and a devilish kind of smile that makes you feel like you just made a little too accurate of a joke to be laughing. John gives you a little warning ‘tsk tsk’, shaking his head like he could try and hide the lust and affection swirling in his dark eyes at the sight of you giggling, and all spread out for him like a five-course meal the Queen of England couldn’t afford to buy. A wiser man might’ve believed himself worthy of you, enough that his dirty hands could touch you and try to give you pleasure in the way they assumed to know best. Yet John leaned over you with the knowledge that he was one of the most unworthy men on the planet, and you had so much grace and love inside of you that it didn’t matter. One little touch and you could cleanse him of every blood stain he’d not been able to clean or sinful act of revenge he couldn’t resist committing. Above all else, you’d decided in all your innocence of the world that you trusted him with your body as much as you’d already handed over your heart and mind.
John kissed you. Hard. With everything he had to offer in return for the invaluable
With that, he’s, hauling you up against him. He wants you laying right on top of him so he can sleep soundly with you right against him. He’s very quick to give you more praise and ask again if you’re feeling okay mentally and physically. You mention feeling just a little insecure, despite all of his very purposeful care throughout the whole process, but Price won’t have it.
Right away he’s kissing you softly, hands rubbing over your back and butt affectionately. Letting you know just how special he feels that you trusted him, as well as just how lucky he was to find someone like you in the first place. Holding the back of your head and gently cradling you against his lips; Tongue licking into your mouth and groaning softly when you mirror his movements, even going far enough to nip at his tongue. Using that same little hint of him enjoying your teeth on him. Just like before, you’re met with another warning sound of a growl, and John is pulling back and moving his head between your legs with a careful watch on your reaction.
“Can’t wait any longer, sweetheart.” He kissed your inner thigh sweetly. “Please let me taste your sweet little pussy.”
His words shock your body, and your head falls back with the little bit of erotic pleads overwhelming you. God, it was making you drip onto the sheets feeling him so close yet waiting for your answer. Pathetically, you couldn’t get the word ‘yes’ out of your mouth for a few long minutes. Just enough time for him to lovingly suck bruises onto your inner thighs and mean you scream out his name, squirming under his hands to try and get some real relief.
John takes pity on you, stopping long enough to let you catch your breath. “Come on pretty girl. Just say the word… I’ll make you feel so fuckin’ good.”
“Yes, yes, yes… please. I need more!” Your airy pleas fall like angel’s trumpets on his ears, as his mouth descends hungrily onto your cunt.
Licking through your slick folds and growling your own name back against your core with the sweet and alkaline flavor. Your hips buck up and you cry out, feeling his tongue lash over your clit for the first time and right away he’s got one forearm over your hips to hold them steady with the other hand held tight with his fingers intertwined with yours. His mustache tickles against your skin and you can feel him resting his head against your thigh, almost like he’s getting comfortable for an extended stay with his tongue in your cunt.
Another orgasm is ripped from you without warning less than ten minutes into John’s unyielding assault on your sensitive clit. And it’s this time that John ensures your thighs can’t wrap around his head for the sole purpose of hearing your loud and raw scream of his name. Blissed out, and shaking once again, John smiles against your pussy; Lapping up any remaining release he’d missed mere seconds before and feeling the dull pressure of your heels digging into his back.
“God, you’re so good for me sweetheart,” His praise blows cool air over your folds and you jerk a little, whining when you feel his lips return back down to you. Slowly, teasingly, he began all over again just as he did the first time.
It takes a couple seconds for you to realize he doesn’t plan on stopping. But when you do, crying for him to stop when he begins using his thumb to tease your clit while his tongue fucks slowly in and out of your clenching hole. John almost laughs, darkly and amused with your little cries and moans. Feeding off of your pleasure just to give it right back to you in the direct motivation of making you come on his tongue and fingers this time.
“F-fuck - John! Sh-shit,” Your stuttered voice falls into an unabashed groan when he teases his finger at your entrance, and slowly slides it deep into your fluttering pussy, squeezing around it tightly. Hungry for more, and weeping with each small curl of the digit hitting on your upper wall.
Your eyes roll back, and you attempt to push John’s head back to try and ease the stimulation, just to feel his hand holding you back and in place. It’s maddening, feeling so good that it’s almost bringing tears to your eyes, having already come twice -more than you typically gave yourself- and no sign of him letting you escape.
God, John was pushing you to the boundary of everything you knew about your own body, as well as giving you the first, raw, experience of just how good sex could be. Lifting your head up just to try and get a small glance at him, you catch the sight of his eyes, fiery and intense looking right back up at you with your own come soaking his mustache and the entire lower half of his handsome face. You clench around his digit again, being pushed that much closer to the edge just at the visual alone.
Your third release came as quickly as the first two, this time resulting in the delicious stretch of John’s three fingers pumping in and out of your cunt, literally slurping up your release; Almost dragging it out of you like he couldn’t stand the thought of not swallowing every drop. He whispered your name so gently as he came to rest on his forearms overtop of you, kissing your forehead with his wet lips and feeling his hair stick against your sweaty forehead.
“Sweetheart…” his tone had softened to the smallest whisper you’d ever heard from him. “Are you sure you want this? We can stop here if you’d like.”
Opening your eyes to see his handsome face and the slight of his hair in a total mess, you knew getting away with not mentioning your lack of experience was impossible. Your John… wasn’t nearly as unobservant as you’d wanted him to be. Without more than a tired little smile, you nodded. Raising your head weakly just far enough to kiss him gently, tasting yourself against your lips and feeling the slight quiver of his breath.
“Please, I want this. I want you John.”
Initially, no matter how much he’d taken care to prep you there was still a deep stretch as his thick cock began slowly entering you. Sweetly, he worked you through each little discomfort, giving you kiss after kiss and running his hands through your hair. Distracting from the little sting that had never been present with your toys, and praising you until his hips pressed flush against yours.
“Fuucckkk yes,” Price couldn’t hold back the loud groan as he looked down to see your pretty little cunt taking every last inch of his dick and squeezing so hard he could barely think straight.
“Takin’ my cock so good… Such a pretty girl, my good little thing…” His murmurs and curses slowly devolved the further you progressed.
Your body slowly adjusted to the intrusion and the gentle thrusts John made the moment you began squirming and pleading with him to move through your little hiccups. The unusual feeling of John moving inside of you slowly began to coax moans and praise from your mouth every time the crown of his cock rubbed deep against a swollen, textured, spot inside of you that built up pressure so quickly that you needed to wrap your legs around his hips to keep them from shaking uncontrollably. Each stroke got harder and harder, with John eventually pounding his cock deep inside of you, moaning and using one arm to wrap around your waist to hold your lower body still so he could bring both of you closer.
“J-John…” Your voice jolted with each snap of his hips as you tried to warn him.
Feeling that familiar yet almost destructive power of another climax rushing through your lower body. Convinced you didn’t have enough left in you to come again, you felt tears pricking your eyes, overwhelmed with immense pleasure skyrocketing you towards a final orgasm you kept denying until John’s fingers reached between you and expertly began rubbing tight circles around your clit, violently tossing you into whited-out vision, and muted hearing.
Above you, John found his own release and shared it at the same time as yours. Fisting the bedsheets to keep from grabbing ahold of you too tightly and bruising you; his cock getting squeezed so tightly from your climax that it was almost painful to stay seated inside of you. With so little arm strength left, he fell nearly full-weight on top of you and only propped himself up by his elbows to keep from suffocating you.
Utterly wrecked, and feeling more than you’d ever experienced more than you’d felt in your life, it took minutes before you could open your eyes and actually have enough of the mental capacity to realize that John was gently stroking your head, kissing your forehead and your nose, and holding you tightly to him as the strong muscle jerks and twitches in your body began to die out.
“You here with me?” Low and comforting, you smile dazedly with your eyes heavy and trying to focus on him.
You merely nod your head yes and give what you assumed was a ‘mhmmm’ but might’ve sounded more like a small animal being choked or drowned. Naturally, John’s lips spread into a very happy and amused smile, cupping your cheek with his hand and pressing a kiss to your lips softly.
“Come on, sweetheart…” John whispered, pulling your head up to his chest and gently easing himself out of you with a low sigh.
You’re once again lifted up and whisked away, this time, into the bathroom just off to the side of the bedroom where John carefully sits you down on the edge of the bathtub and starts running hot water with the lights dimmed low. Certain he’s got everything for your bath within your reach and the water is high enough for you to really sink down into in and relax, he gives you a soft kiss and promises to return after just a couple minutes.
He returns before you even work up the desire to wash your hair, and immediately takes over the task of getting you cleaned up himself. In between the lulls of soaps, and conditioners, John will pose quiet questions, asking how you’re feeling and wanting to know if there was anything that hurt you physically or was bothering you mentally. His care was intense and very personal, giving you much more confidence and comfort after having such a draining experience. Of course, you felt fantastic throughout, but when he asked if you were tired, there was a feeling that he already knew you were and expected you to tell him how he could best support you.
Other than letting your head rest against his chest. Leaving not one inch of your body neglected, from your face to your feet. Throughout the process you watch through sleepy eyes, seeing a very peaceful sort of look on his face while soaping you up and helping you rinse off and step out of the slippery bathtub into a warm towel you could only assume he’d thrown in the dryer just for your comfort.
Holding the towel around yourself, you peck him on the lips and smile, too tired to really say anything of real value. However, you’re certain John understands by the way his arms wrap you up and hold you tight to his bare chest while running his fingers through your wet hair, helping get out some of the little tangles your conditioner couldn’t quite take care of alone.
“I love you, John. More than anything.”
He drops a kiss on top of your head, rocking your weights back and forth in the dimmed light of the bathroom. Admiring your little form in the darkened silhouette of his much larger one.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
“You’re my best friend.”
He chuckles, finding that so very endearing.
“You’re mine too.”
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yeah... the "you're my best friend" part, me and my husband do that <3 so.... that's a thing.
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princeoftheeternalbog · 5 months
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hiii
Could do nicknames one peice characters would call you?? Xx
I love you🫶 YES I WILL TEEHEE
Suggestive in Sanji and Namis part but mostly sfw!
I only did the strawhats this time but without further ado: petnames/nicknames op characters call you🫶
Luffy
I think Luffy would pick something really cute like flower, like in the morning when he tackles you out of your hammock to wake you up and he's like "GOODMORNING FLOWER :DDDD" while squishing you(😐).
OR he would refer to your future title aka consort of the pirate king(cocky mf). Even if you correct him like oh well you're not king of the pirates yet he just keeps saying 'but why can't I say it now' until you give up. LOVES when you call him my king or my sunshine, it makes him feel all gooey inside. He likes other nicknames too but those ones especially.
Zoro
Surprisingly a classic sort of guy, he'll call you hun or love, mostly always in private. But if he thinks someone is bothering you he'll purposefully say it really loudly like "oh hey LOVE I was looking for you" while glaring at the person.
Always says it in the softest, sweetest tone when you're alone. Seriously he's like some romance drama lead the way he's sighing around the word when he's holding you close. Blushes so pretty when you call him a petname back even if it's the most cringey, disgusting petname like pookie wookie. Like he'll cringe but still blush.
Sanji
Probably uses almost every name you can think of but especially darling, mon amour and sweetheart. Says them in every tone imaginable and he says them in a very specific way when you're alone, sometimes he'll say them that way in public to fluster you though (asshole🫶).
Jokes on him though because he folds really easily for the same trick. One time you said baby in that tone on deck and he tripped and fell over so... you're the real winner here. He likes to act very confident and he can be but he very often finds himself with wobbly legs around you- he can't help it you're just too fine.
Usopp
Babylove, sweetheart, pretty thing, YES I KNOW OKAY LISTEN JUST HEAR ME OUT- I just think once he gets over the honeymoon phase and he's comfy then he's smooth as fuck. Like this man is fine okay and once he knows what hes doing, he KNOWS yk. Always says them directly in your ear though🫣, he's still too shy to look you in the face while saying that sort of thing. Like he's slick but he's also sweating and trembling while he romances you.
Also he absolutely blushes bright red when you say anything of the sort to him. One 'hey pretty boy' and it's over for his blood pressure, one time he fainted and he was so embarrassed that he avoided being alone with you for a week.
Nami
Sunshine and treasure(in like every single language she can think of). Either says it in the sweetest tone ever or the most scary and she never uses your name unless she's really really scared or relieved (or during the...thing).
LOVES any and every nickname but if you say something cringe in front of somebody she makes you pay a fee😭. Fr 200 berry just for you to call her shnookems in front of Chopper, its mostly because the cringy nicknames somehow make her feel shy like omg you love me enough to confidently call me cuddle muffin ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ how disgusting (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠^⁠3⁠^). But also she uses this money to buy you little gifts and trinkets so can you complain(yes).
Robin
Love, honey or sweetheart. Says it in this cute little sing song voice you didn't know she had and it's just so sweet and enticing fr she got you floating over there like a sailor drowning to a siren's song. But seriously if she's using a petname then you know she's in a really affectionate mood which means lots of touching and kisses!
Her favourite nickname that you call her is 'my wife'. Listen I think she's secretly quite intense romantically so hearing you defend her to someone by going "THAT'S MY WIFE" really does something to her heart. She tries for ages to trick you into saying it again so she can record it and listen back whenever she wants(You give her a recording for her birthday).
Franky
Babe, baby, cutie and probably something really corny like superstar🫶. Definitely the type of person to holler "THATS MY BABY✨✨" while you're kicking someone's ass and it's really embarrassing but simultaneously really reassuring.
And tbh a nickname is usually followed by a kiss, well actually most of his interactions with you are followed by a kiss- Anyways he loves it when you call him one back especially those classic ones like my love or darling, fr he's obsessed. Will absolutely tell everyone what you just called him and if he ever gets hit on he says some stupid dramatic shit like: "Only one person will ever call me their love..." Like shut up😭.
Brook
Dearheart. Iykyk. He finds dearheart is the only petname that even slightly encompass how he feels about you, and besides that he's a very classic guy. ALWAYS kisses some part of you after he says it, usually you're forehead because he's quite tall but sometimes he kisses your hand like some fairytale prince.
Blushes really easily at being called pet names especially more modern ones like baby, gently chides you for it but secretly loves it. It's like those clips of chopper where he pretends he's not flattered by a compliment😭 Brook is fr like "Oh my- please don't call me such things in public" while he's giggling like this:
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Jinbei
Love, butterfly, starlight, dewdrop and anything that makes you flustered. He's secretly quite chaotic when he wants to be and he loves seeing you laugh so he tries to make you as happy as possible at all times. Despite how often he uses beautiful flowery language with you, he's quite shy with physical touch so he's stood like 6ft away going "My starlight you are prettier than anything in this world"😭.
Adores any pet name with the word my in front of it. Like my love, my baby, my man, he's just in love with you and he thinks he should be kissing you at all times! Sweetest man ever to be honest.
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chiriwritesstuff · 5 months
Text
The Girl in IT - 1. The Night Shift
A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU
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Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)
Chapter Preview: "Well, it was a virus, and as I looked into the problem, I had to explore every avenue to ensure I pinpointed the issue, you know, for my report to Tess. I went into your history to see if it might have been a site that caused you to have the virus. I may have casually peeked into a few files to ensure they weren’t corrupted…” you admit, “…and I might have stumbled upon-" your eyebrows raise in embarrassment, "Something personal." “Something personal?” He questions, his brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have anything personal… oh, shit.” His eyes widen as the realization dawns on him, hands covering his face as he groans in embarrassment. "Look, about my internet history... and the list-" You slowly nod and bite your lip, mostly to hide your own embarrassment. “… yeah. Um, it was quite... informative about your... sexual preferences.”
Chapter Warnings and Tags: No Outbreak! Joel Miller, Mentions of intended smut towards the reader, Boss x Employee Relationship, Virgin Reader, All of the yearning, Joel Miller is a silly flirt, A small-ish age gap, Joel is too forward for his own good, Tess is a boss (and should not be fucked with - or you get the horns).
Word Count: 5.6K
A/N: Well, hello there!
I honestly have no idea where this idea of a (somewhat crack) fic came from, but I had an idea and I ran with it! A lot of the character development came from my own anxieties of feeling behind in life, and if you feel that way too, I feel you! Don't worry, I promise it won't always feel like this. Time is just that- time, and it's never too late to follow your dreams! I believe in you!
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Subject: I think I have a Virus?
12:50 AM (10 min ago)
Hey Sugar,
I know it's late, but my computer fritzed out an hour ago (a shit ton of pop-ups) and I have that presentation with The H Hotel tomorrow morning. Well, do you think you could do me a solid and help me... not have any more of those darn pop-ups? I called the number that popped up asking if I needed assistance with the virus and they asked for my credit card information but they haven't replied back.
Shit, was that a scam? Fuck. I should call Amex.  
Anyway, do you think you can help me get out of this bind, Sugar? I'll be forever and eternally grateful. If you don't, well... I'm sure Tess will rip me a new one, and I would like to not have a Servopoulos-level meltdown at 9 in the morning. Not after last time. Sorry about having to be a part of that, Sugar. At least Maria was able to pay for your dry cleaning and get you a new shirt? You should have let me check your chest for burns, I sure as hell wouldn't want scalding hot coffee being thrown in my direction either. Shit. Not check your chest as in checking out your... breasts, just the burn site. Yeah. That's what I meant. 
(Also, sorry for emailing you last minute. Shit. I'm desperate, baby.)
Thanks,
Joel Miller 
Owner and CEO, Miller Construction Group
(512) 123-4567
Subject: RE: I think I have a Virus?
1 AM (0 seconds ago)
Good Evening Mr. Miller,
I got your request and will work on it shortly. I can't make any promises, but I will try to get you out of your "bind".  
Don't worry about that thing with Tess. She was rightfully upset, and I just so happened to be caught in the line of fire. If it had to be one of us, I am glad it was me being pelted with boiling hot coffee, and not you in front of your clients. You didn't have to have Maria buy me a blouse from Neiman Marcus, nothing a little tide-to-go can't fix, right? Also, I knew what you meant about my chest, and I didn't think you wanted to look at my... breasts. Let's not refer to any of my body parts moving forward.
Also, I am not completely comfortable with the terms of endearment that you continuously call me, Sir. Please refer to me by my actual name, these emails are monitored by Tess and I would not like to be scalded with hot coffee again for a little misunderstanding.  
Please let me know if you have any other pressing questions or concerns.
Goodnight!
IT Specialist 0926,
IT Department, Miller Construction Group
(512) 765-4321
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"Ok Bubbles, let's see what mess Mr. Miller got himself into this time."
Settling by your coffee table, you access your remote portal and insert your portable SSD, initiating various programs to gain entry into your boss's laptop. Securing your hair in a messy top bun with a claw clip, you find yourself biting your bottom lip in concentration. Simultaneously, you switch on your TV, finding solace in the ambient noise that fills your dimly lit apartment—a space shared with Sir Bubbles, your British Shorthair companion since your college days. There's a marathon of Criminal Minds airing on TBS, Spencer Reid's adorable face on screen as he rattles off another theory for why the unsub was an abuse victim by his prostitute mother. You turn the volume down a bit, drowning out his voice.
It's near silent in the little shoebox you call home, the only decent place you were able to afford with your meager savings- after slaving away as a Geek Squad IT Specialist for the majority of your twenties at the Best Buy down the road from your parent's house. Despite graduating with your MIS at the University of Texas - Dallas, finding a decent job in your industry was brutal, and, honestly, quite embarrassing after receiving 30-plus rejection emails in a span of a year. Downtrodden and desperate for a job, you settled on working at Best Buy temporarily, but by the time you hit your mid-30s, it's been eight years working for barely minimum wage, and absolutely nothing to show for it. 
"Do you remember those sweet Miller boys who fixed our roof ten years ago?" your mother asks during a Sunday dinner six months ago, sliding a boat of gravy your way as you absentmindedly drizzle it over your mashed potatoes. "I ran into the older one... Joeseph? James? He owns his own company now with his brother, quite the feat, right? They're working on that hotel down the road... anyway, Josh-"
"Joel," you correct her, nudging the over-steamed carrots around your plate. "I think his name was Joel, Mama."
"Yes, Joel," your mother dismissively waves her hands. "Well, I told him about how you were on the job hunt, you know, with your master's and all. Oh, remember when you used to have that silly little crush on him? He's grown to be quite the looker, you know? Anyway, he told me that they were looking for someone to replace their old IT person—apparently, they retired—"
"Mom," you groan, "get to the point."
"Well," she grins conspiratorially, "he wants you to apply, baby. He remembers you and your little crush, and he said he could never forget someone as cute as you. If you're as good as I claimed you were, well... the job's practically yours!"
Your fork slips from your grasp, the metallic clang against porcelain causing Bubbles to leap in surprise, hissing at you in irritation. "Wait, what?" you blurt out, your eyes wide with a mix of shock and confusion.
Your mother beams at your reaction, seemingly pleased with the bombshell she just dropped. "I told him all about your IT skills and how you practically run the technology world from your bedroom. He seemed really interested, sweetie. And, well, it wouldn't hurt to at least consider it, right?"
You sit there, a swirl of thoughts and emotions whirling in your mind. The unexpected twist of Joel Miller, the older Miller boy you once had a crush on, remembering you and possibly offering you a job—it's surreal. Bubbles, having recovered from the earlier disturbance, casually resumes licking his paw, completely uninterested in the familial drama.
"I... I don't know, Mom," you stammer, trying to process this unexpected turn of events. "I mean, working for the Millers? It's a bit... complicated."
She leans in, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "Sweetheart, this could be a fantastic opportunity. And who knows, maybe that little crush of yours could turn into something more... professional, of course." She cuts into her meatloaf, humming in contentment as she chews. "Oh, and Sweetie? Wear the red sweater with your pleated skirt, with something other than those sneakers. You're turning thirty-six in September; you can at least do yourself a favor and start dressing your age for once! I'm sure Joel would appreciate it!" she winks at you as your father grunts in displeasure, rolling his eyes, muttering "meddler" under his breath.
"Mom, it was just a crush from a decade ago. Besides, mixing work and personal feelings is never a good idea."
She chuckles, reaching across the table to pat your hand. "Well, think about it, okay? Joel seemed genuinely interested in having you on the team. It's worth exploring, don't you think?"
A wink, a handshake, and six months later, you find yourself on-call indefinitely, catering to Mr. Miller's every technological whim and folly. It's not a bad job, you reason — getting paid triple what you made at Best Buy, monitoring everyone's browsing history in the office, and fielding the incessant IT requests Mr. Miller sends your way- which was often.  Way too often.
[My laptop won't turn on.]  Did you charge it? Try doing that first.
[Why does the volume not work on my Zoom calls?]  Did you make sure that you're not on mute or that your computer volume is up? Check that first.
[Since when did we put a parental blocker on the internet?]  It was per Tess, who said that employees should be working instead of looking up anti-feminist manifestos on Reddit. I apologize for the inconvenience, Mr. Miller. [Oh, well shit. Do you think you could unblock it for me? I am... having a hard time accessing my... bank account.] I mean- I could, but I would have to run it by Tess first. [Do you think you could... for me? It'll be our little secret, Sugar. Don't worry about Tess, I'll handle her.]  Sure, Mr. Miller... Right. Our little secret.  [Sugar, for the last time, it's Joel. Besides, I thought we were past having a silly little crush on me, you've grown into a... rather nice young woman. Please, call me Joel.]  Uh, sure Mr. Miller.
You are broken from your silent reverie by the unmistakable ding, ding, ding of the pop-ups Joel- Mr. Miller - you correct yourself, mentioned in his email. You scoff, biting into a piece of beef jerky. Typing in a command, the pop-ups halt, the black screen granting you developer access popping up as you run diagnostic after diagnostic trying to catch the little sucker - a virus, as Mr. Miller claimed - in the act of corrupting your poor boss' laptop once again.  There you are, you little shit, you mutter under your breath as you furiously type in more commands, eradicating Mr. Miller's bane of existence for good (or so you hope).
After running what felt like the tenth diagnostic of the night and downing three cups of coffee for the last three hours, the dawn of a new day streaks through the sheer curtains against your window. With bated breath, you restart Joel's system once more, closing your eyes until the familiar chime of Windows 11 booting up reaches your ears.
Please, please, please for fucks sake... no more pop-ups...
Joel's home screen pops up in an instant, the photo of him and his two girls smiling back at you as you breathe in a sigh of relief. "Fuck yes! Finally!" you silently exclaim, a drawn-out yawn and a deep stretch escaping your body as you settle your laptop on your couch. "Okay, let's just run a few programs and check a few documents to make sure they're not corrupted and then I can finally hit the sack..." you squint at the digital clock of your microwave, "and sleep for an hour before I have to get ready for work," you groan, eyeing the jar of Cafe Bustelo in the distance. Yep. No sleep for me, you think bitterly.  Another night, another one of Mr. Miller's computer meltdowns... 
Your eyes scan his desktop, opening up the PowerPoint file he needs for his presentation. It opens up with a slight lag, something you can optimize later but you breathe out another sigh of relief anyway. You check his internet browsing history, his late-night extensive porn viewing not a surprise to you anymore as you snort at the ridiculousness of it all.  At least it's not as bad and kinky as Tommy's browsing history, you tell yourself, because you'll never quite get used to all of the roleplay porn he watches religiously, you think. Closing out of Google Chrome, You scan his desktop for a random Word doc for you to open, not checking its title as you double-click on the first one that you see, slightly hidden by the Recycle Bin icon to the bottom right.  Wants? What kind of a file name is that?
The Word doc pops open, and it seems to be a running list of random things. You blearily scan the line items, your eyes widening in shock as you read on.  
Fuck her against my office door as I cover her mouth to muffle her screams.
Spoil her with a shopping spree at Neiman's with my Amex black card.
Fulfill my breeding fantasy by convincing her to get off of her Birth Control (do you think she's on one?)
Fuck her from behind against Tess' desk (serves her right)
You quickly exit out of the document, pushing your laptop away as if it were cursed. You look at the document title once more.  
Wants.
What the fuck was this? Who is he talking about? you ponder, the guilt of your negligence weighing on you like a weight tied to your ankles as you sink into the depths of the Atlantic. You shut your laptop for good measure, covering it up with your quilt as you shake your head in disbelief.  
What the fuck did I just read?
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“Mr. Miller? Do you have a moment?”
You knock on the office door once more for good measure, standing timidly as you try to occupy yourself by smoothing out your dress - sensible, a decent length, work appropriate, you think to yourself. You try to not occupy the idle time of waiting for your boss, Joel Miller, one half of Miller Construction- and the thing you found while remote logging onto his computer last night - I think I have a virus, his email stated - only to stumble upon something rather telling and personal - but he was your boss, and you were a professional, and you weren’t going to think about the list… 
Kiss her in the rain.
Make love in my truck as she rides me. 
Bend her over my desk and take her from behind.
Marathon sex
Eat her out as she works at her desk.
No, Joel was unequivocally your boss—older than you by at least a decade (and maybe a few more years, give or take), and the document titled "Wants" was clearly personal, likely intended for someone else, and certainly not meant to be seen by anyone, especially not an overly curious IT specialist like you. No, you reckon that this list was meant for someone else in the office - someone beautiful, sexy, and confident— someone decidedly who isn't you. Certainly not for someone who dresses like she’s still in college, who only recently began living on her own in a shoebox of an apartment (if you can call it that) after living with her parents for the majority of her adult life, and who barely has her life together. It’s pathetic, being a woman of a certain age and with nothing to show for it, still painfully single, nothing substantial to your name, only getting your life together now while everyone around you has done everything right.  I feel so behind in life, you think to yourself.  Who would want someone so pathetic as me?
It’s not like it’s a crime to have wants, you think to yourself. Everyone has them, including you, you reason. So what if you just so happen to stumble upon your boss's deepest (and somewhat depraved) desires? Doesn’t everyone have a bucket list of their desires written somewhere? So what if your older, attractive boss with his Gen X tendencies has it typed out on his work computer? It’s not like he meant for you to open up the Word doc, right?
You knew he was single. You also knew that he had kids, at least two—Sarah, his eldest, was the head of HR, and Ellie, his adoptive younger daughter, an apprentice working under Tommy, the other half of Miller Construction—a serial flirt who asked you about your dating life in your interview a few months back. No, you didn’t think about your boss and the sheer mass of man that he was, that he smelled like cedar and sandalwood, that he winks when he tells you good morning as you pass him in the parking lot while stumbling out of your less-than-impressive shitty Corolla. You also didn’t take note that he drinks his coffee black with a sprinkle of sugar—the one in the brown packet—or that he eats in his office instead of the employee lounge because he’s a messy eater. The deep red blush trailing down his neck as Tommy scolded him about his lack of table manners during a company-mandated team-building day wasn't proof enough of that.
There wasn’t a ring on that tell-tale finger, not even a tan line, no photographs of another woman on his desk—besides his daughters, of course. Not that you were looking. Tommy had his wife Maria come down to the office often enough; wouldn’t Joel be the same with his own?
Miller Construction prided itself on being a family-run company, with Joel and Tommy at the helm and their best friend Tess as VP—more the boss than the actual Miller brothers. While Joel and Tommy preferred the hands-on work on-site, Tess ruled over the office with an iron fist. No one dared to cross her.
"You've got one job, and one job only," she declared during your office tour. "Make sure no one spends the majority of their shift watching porn, and keep Joel from messing up his computer with his boomer-isms. We can't afford to keep replacing a laptop every six months."
"Isn't he in Gen X?" you ask. "... at 56 years old, he's still considered to be in that generation, right?"
"Technically, yes," Tess replies with an exasperated sigh. "But you know what I mean. Sometimes it feels like Joel is stuck in a time warp with his 'boomer-isms.' Just keep things running smoothly here, alright?"
As the days pass, you notice an unusual trend in Joel's computer issues. It seems that every time his laptop malfunctions, it coincides with a spike in suspicious internet activity. It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots, and you can't help but shake your head at the irony of it all.
After a particularly eventful morning filled with more than the usual technical hiccups, you decide it's time to address the elephant in the room. You knock on Joel's office door, half-expecting him to be engrossed in some spreadsheet or construction plans.
It's not like you have to tell him about your snooping - he would be none the wiser judging by the way he was so technologically inept - you weren't about to tell him that the reason for the virus on the computer was because he was looking at some rather specific porn - boss fucks unsuspecting secretary from behind- his internet history had listed, nor did he probably think that his computer is being monitored, including his internet browsing history- company policy, as stated on the employee handbook that every employee of Miller Construction signs on the day of their official hiring- nor does he think that it sends reports to her at the end of the day.
You don't think about how the sudden uptick of his secretary porn viewing increased since a week after your hiring.  It's just a coincidence, right?
“Mr. Miller?” You call out once more. “It’s about your IT request last night? I have an update?”
“Yeah? Sorry! Come on in!” you hear from behind the door, accompanied by the frantic shuffle of papers and a silent curse. You take a deep breath as your hand turns the doorknob. Silently, you shut the door behind you, offering a small smile as you smooth out the skirt of your dress once more.
You fidget in place in front of the door as Joel—Mr. Miller—in his green flannel and dark jeans slung just right—it really should be criminal, looking this ruggedly handsome for someone his age, you think—as he ungraciously flops onto his desk chair, motioning for you to take the seat in front of him as he clears his throat nervously. “Take a seat.”
You situate yourself in front of him, refusing to meet his eyes as you fiddle with your hands on your lap, wondering why he, out of all people, would be nervous. It's not like he stumbled upon something so... intimate. You are a professional, and you were only doing your job, you tell yourself like a mantra, trying to ground yourself. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like he would fire you over your accidental snooping, right? You nod to yourself. “So…”
“So…” he replies, Adam’s apple bobbing as he takes a drink of his coffee. “Thank you for taking a look at my computer last night.” He begins, smiling at you. “I know that it was late, and I’m willing to compensate your time by giving you time and a half…”
“Oh,” you nervously reply, shifting in your seat. “No, Mr. Miller—”
“Joel.”
“What?”
He shakes his head. “Please. We’re all family here. Call me Joel. Mr. Miller is my father for fuck's sake—”
“Right,” you chuckle. “Sure. Joel. Listen, you don’t need to compensate me for last night, let alone give me the overtime rate—”
“I emailed you at midnight; surely you were already busy, or I probably irritated your husband—”
“No.”
“No?” 
“No,” you mumble solemnly, “there’s no husband, just me and my cat-“
He barks at that, the laugh so loud it makes you jump in your seat. He gives you a look, almost as if he was relieved with that bit of information. “Well, disturbing your cat, then-“
"Oh," you reply casually, waving your hands in dismissal. "I'm sure Sir Bubbles didn't mind... and I don't sleep much, really—"
"Oh?" He straightens himself, his face serious. "Is it because of all of my requests? Shit. My girls give me such a hard time about not being with the times, I'm not really interested in technology— So no husband? Boyfriend, then?"
"Uh, no," you reply quickly, not eager to delve into the details of your lackluster love life. You clear your throat, adopting a professional demeanor. "Joel, as you're aware—or maybe not," you chuckle nervously, "I receive reports of all employee internet histories at the end of the day. Being the sole IT specialist on your payroll—perks of the job, outlined in my duties—I keep an eye out for any... irregularities."
"Irregularities?" he replies, his demeanor shifting into something resembling guilt. "What are you trying to get at?" he presses.
"Well, I monitor employee computer usage to make sure that they're not... distracted from their work," you reply. "Tess was explicit about not having any employees using company time for any unnecessary personal... dalliances."
Joel gives you a hard look. "Dalliances?"
"Yes, dalliances. Tess told me it was an issue before, with employees browsing social media and visiting questionable Reddit threads?"
"I don't follow," Joel replies. "You gotta spell it out for me, Sugar. What does that have to do with my request last night? I had a late night at the office, and after... checking my emails," he gulps, "I suddenly get bombarded with these pop-up things, so much that I just... unplugged my laptop... and, well-"
How is he so oblivious about this? You bite your cheek in frustration, not knowing how to get to the point without having to spell it out for him that you caught him browsing porn last night, secretary porn at that, and although it's highly inappropriate, you hardly think he was watching it because of Gladys, his actual secretary, who is old enough to be his mother.  Not unless he has some weird mommy kink...
Unable to endure the suspense any longer, you decide to rip the bandaid off as soon as possible. “I’m sorry!” You exclaim, “I didn't mean to look at your browsing history, I mean, I had to, but only because I had to find the reason why a virus got on your computer, but that is not the point! I had to open a file to make sure it wasn't corrupted, and I swear, I didn't mean to open it!"
“Open what, sweetheart?” he smiles at you, leaning forward towards you.  
"Well, it was a virus, and as I looked into the problem, I had to explore every avenue to ensure I pinpointed the issue, you know, for my report to Tess. I went into your history to see if it might have been a site that caused you to have the virus. I may have casually peeked into a few files to ensure they weren’t corrupted…” you admit, “…and I might have stumbled upon-" your eyebrows raise in embarrassment, "Something personal."
“Something personal?” He questions, his brows furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have anything personal… oh, shit.” His eyes widen as the realization dawns on him, hands covering his face as he groans in embarrassment. "Look, about my internet history... and the list-"
You slowly nod and bite your lip, mostly to hide your own embarrassment. “… yeah. Um, it was quite... informative about your... sexual preferences.”
Joel visibly pales at your confession. He adjusts his collar, unbuttoning the second button as if he were being strangled by your scrutiny. “I just want to let you know", he starts, looking you in the eye with an unreadable expression. "I respect you as a woman, and Tommy, fuck, he wouldn’t let it go, with all that teasing about you being exactly my type and all, and well, your mother did remind me about your little crush on me back then-“ he rubs his hands through his hair as he rambles on, “… and I know that this looks bad, with you being my employee and all-“
“Wait, what?” You cut him off, a confused look on your face. “What do you mean? I mean, they're your personal preferences, and the list, well, I'm sure whoever you're writing about must be some woman, not that it's any of my business-”
“Fuck. You didn’t read all of it?”
“No!” You exclaim, practically jumping out of your seat. “I quickly closed it once I realized the nature of the document…”
“Well.” He stands up suddenly, pacing behind his desk. “I wrote that drunkenly one night after the company dinner, you know, the one when you wore that dress… do you remember?”
“Yes,” you reply breathily, “… the night where-“
You vividly recall that night. It was a dinner at the recently completed new hotel project. After a few glasses of wine and an impulsive, rather expensive purchase at Nordstrom.com a week prior, you endured most of the evening in an uncomfortably tight and overly revealing dress—a poor choice for a company party, for fucks sake. You believed Joel approached you at the end of the night out of sheer pity, not because—
“Well… after seeing you in that dress, and how stunning you looked in it, sitting by yourself, biting your lip in a way that makes me-“ he stops himself, giving you a small smile. “I was drunk, and I was thinking… I was contemplating how, if I were to have you, if you, by some miracle of fate… were interested, that I would do things right, you know? That if I had a second chance at… I would do it right. Treat you right.”
“You do know I’m not a secretary, let alone your secretary,” you roll your eyes. “I’m in IT… the only person in IT actually, and you’re not the first person I caught looking at questionable porn…”
Joel bristles at that. “Shit. Let me guess… Tommy?”
That gets a small smile out of you. “I can neither confirm nor deny, but… he’s partial towards a certain porn actress, and let’s just say he is really in love with women who looks like his wife.”
He smiles. "Shit, I thought I was being obvious enough, being that Tommy has teased me about it enough... I thought you knew. I know you work with computers, Sugar. I’m not completely senile, and I know Tess has been on a warpath about people getting their rocks off at work, I figured you would look at all of my… perusing.”
You're left stunned, your mind racing to process what Joel just revealed. It's not the revelation about his desires that leaves you speechless, but the unexpected admission of his feelings toward you. Your mind flashes back to the list, the desires that seemed so out of reach for someone like you. You never thought Joel would be harboring any feelings for you, let alone express them so openly.
"I... I had no idea," you stammer, still grappling with the revelation. "I thought that list was for someone else, someone... not me."
Joel walks around the desk, his eyes never leaving yours. "You thought wrong, sweetheart. I've been trying to drop hints, but I guess I've been subtler than I thought."
A myriad of emotions wash over you — confusion, surprise, and a hint of something you can't quite place. The professional boundary between boss and employee seems to blur, and you find yourself in uncharted territory.
"But," he continues, "I get it. I'm your boss, and this is complicated. I didn't want to put you in an awkward position. I should've been more direct."
You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Joel, it's not about being direct or indirect. This is just... unexpected. I never thought someone like you would... feel that way about someone like me."
He reaches out, gently lifting your chin so you meet his gaze. "Someone like me? What does that even mean, darlin'? You're intelligent and beautiful, and I've seen the way you handle your work. I've noticed you, and I can't help how I feel."
A mixture of vulnerability and sincerity in his eyes makes it hard to doubt his words. You start to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, your insecurities have clouded your perception.
"I don't want to pressure you, and I understand if you're not comfortable with this. I just needed you to know. The last thing I want is for things to be awkward at work," he says, his thumb gently caressing your cheek.
You take a moment to absorb everything. Joel's revelation, your preconceptions, and the unexpected turn of events. The office, once a familiar space, now feels like uncharted territory.
"I need time to process this," you finally say. "It's a lot to take in, Joel. I never expected... any of this."
He nods understandingly, his hand dropping to his side. "Take all the time you need. I'll respect whatever decision you make. And hey, if you're not interested, we can go back to being boss and employee, like nothing happened."
You manage a small smile, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. "I'll... let you know. Just give me some time, okay?"
"Of course," he says, moving back toward his desk. "And, for what it's worth, I meant every word on that list. Whether it's a rain kiss or making love in my truck, I want it all with you."
You nod, silently acknowledging his sincerity. As you leave his office, you can't help but wonder how a routine IT request led to such a revelation. The office dynamics have shifted, and you find yourself navigating uncharted waters, unsure of where this unexpected revelation will lead.
As you walk away from Joel's office, a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts consumes your mind. The revelation about Joel's feelings for you is a shock, but it's not the only thing echoing in your head. The list of desires he had penned down only magnifies your own insecurities. The voice in your mind grows louder, whispering that you're not the woman he deserves—too much of a mess, too behind in life, and certainly not beautiful enough for someone like him. The echoes of your perceived inadequacies replay like a broken record, drowning out the possibility that someone could genuinely see something valuable in you. You glance at your reflection in the office window, critiquing every imperfection, every perceived flaw. The dress that seemed sensible before now feels like a sad attempt to disguise what you believe is a lack of style or grace. The weight of self-doubt becomes an invisible burden, and you can't shake the feeling that you're not enough, that you may never be enough for someone like Joel.
As you grapple with your internal struggles, a small spark of defiance begins to flicker within you. Perhaps it's time to challenge those self-limiting beliefs, to be bolder than your insecurities allow. Joel's admission has opened a door you never expected, and you find yourself at a crossroads. Despite the echoes of doubt, a newfound courage whispers that maybe, just maybe, you can be more than what you perceive.
Embracing this sudden surge of determination, you make a decision. Instead of letting fear dictate your actions, you choose to confront the uncertainties head-on. Swallowing the apprehension that threatens to hold you back, you turn on your heel and head back to Joel's office. The faint thud of your own heartbeat echoes in your ears as you push open the door.
"Joel," you say, your voice steadier than you anticipated. "I've been thinking about what you said, and I need you to clarify something for me."
He looks up from his desk, curiosity etched across his features. "Sure, what's on your mind?"
You take a deep breath, suppressing the self-doubt that still lingers. "Is that list something you genuinely desire with me, or was it just a drunken fantasy?"
Joel's eyes lock onto yours, a mix of surprise and sincerity in his gaze. "Every word of it is something I want with you. Why?"
A daring smile plays on your lips as you respond, "Then let's not leave it as a list, Joel. Let's see how many of those desires we can turn into reality."
The room seems to hold its breath for a moment as Joel's expression shifts from surprise to a slow, understanding smile. The air thickens with anticipation, leaving the next steps uncertain but filled with the promise of something new and exhilarating. As you stand on the precipice of this unexpected journey, the uncharted waters of possibilities lie ahead, and you find yourself ready to take the plunge.
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Taglist: @gwendibleywrites, @joeldjarin, @brittmb115
For more updates on all of my fics, please follow @chiriwritesstuffnotifs
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yaekiss · 1 year
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hi so [holds head in hands] no pressure to fulfill this request of course but like. heizou, kazuha, and the wanderer (separate) going down on you lol,, haha,, bonus points if it’s their first time doing anything with you,, or anyone, for that matter,,, (afab mc preferred ^^)
oh and since you’re not familiar with heizou’s character yet, i have some ideas … i know a lot of people make him out to be super experienced and like yeah. no shame to that. that’s epic. but god. look. listen… there’s untapped potential here [shakes you aggressively] heizou, aware of his own flirty reputation and also wanting to impress you, pretends to know what he’s doing and acts all confident like yeah. i got this bbg. i fucked around already. mhm. totally. i’m gonna give you the time of your life fr. yet he just… mentally bluescreens when it actually gets to the real deal. his face heats up, his mouth goes slack, and he stares like an idiot. internal monologue is probably: what do i do. what do i DO. i do not want to fuck this up HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKK. eventually you get sick of his virgin act and decide to help him out by sitting on his face and riding the fuck out of him. yeah
— 🌻 nonnie (i hope you’re well!)
𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝑵𝒆𝒘 𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒆?
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꩜ Room Content: Dom! GN! Reader! x Sub! Heizou, Sub! Kazuha, Sub! Wanderer (separate), terms "pussy" "folds" & "clit" used to refer to reader's anatomy, terms "cunt" & "folds" used to describe Wanderer's anatomy, cunnilingus (reader receiving in all 3 parts, implied giving in Wanderer's part), you ride their faces 😼, all 3 of them are inexperienced, lmk if I missed out anything ! ꩜ A/N: Thank you for waiting 🌻 anon!!! Ran out of steam after Heizou's part so Kazuha's and Wanderer's parts are in bulleted points orz... Anyways, here's ur order of the an3mo boys eating you out ♡ Hope you enjoy hehe !!
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🏷️𝑹𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝟎𝟕𝟐𝟒: 𝑺. 𝑯𝒆𝒊𝒛𝒐𝒖
After countless weeks (weeks!) of chasing each other around, Heizou’s cryptic riddles and your vague replies for him to unravel, he finally has you where he wants you! (Or do you have him right where you want him?)
Though, you need to give him credit where credit is due. Everything in the room has been set up to your liking and the thought of how much effort he put into this has your heart fluttering a bit.
“Well? Impressed?” There’s a cocky smirk on Heizou’s face and you scoff, rolling your eyes at him. You’re aware of the reputation he’s amassed on the streets, rumours of how he’s a casanova unlike no other, how he can charm anyone into his arms. Frankly, you couldn’t really see the supposed suave flirtatious persona in him. Like, are we talking about the same Heizou? The man who made you go on a wild goose chase through the town, only to reach a scenic lake and have the moment ruined by him falling into the water while he’s excitedly waving to you from afar. (Though his shirt got soaked through and you got to see his cute nipples… Hmm, maybe the rumours have some truth to them after all.) But you’re not one to back down without a fight.
“I’ll give you my answer in the morning so you better make tonight count, detective.” Slowly shedding your clothes, you eye him with a brimming anticipation as he watches, his own eyes glued to your mesmerising figure. 
After you lay back on the bed, Heizou wastes no time in diving between your legs, trailing featherlight kisses up from your calf to your inner thighs. He slowly inches his way up towards your core before, all of a sudden, all his previous actions stop. You can feel his hands on you falter a bit as the bed shifts and dips as he sits back on his knees. Puzzled by the change in the mood, you sit up to check on Heizou but the sight you see is not one you were exactly expecting. 
His face is glowing with how red and blushy he’s gotten, hidden behind his hands as he tries to hide the expression he’s making. Clearing his throat and turning away from your gaze, he gulps audibly.
“Just… just give me a second to c-compose myself…” An odd awkwardness filters through the air and you can’t help but quirk an eyebrow up at this (not so) unforeseen turn of events.
“Why, is my little casanova scared? Where did your previous bravado go?” Teasing him further, you crawl seductively towards him, taking full amusement in watching him squirm nervously, peeking at you through the gaps of his fingers. 
“I’m not… scared… what are you talking about? Ahahaha…” His strained laughter trails off at the end and it’s the last straw for you. Annoyance taking hold of you, you grab onto his shoulders and push him down so that he’s lying on the bed, olive eyes wild and bewildered as they stare up at you. For the first time in a while, he has no idea what to expect and frankly, he didn’t think he’d be so turned on by it.
Before he can register what’s happening, mind hazy with lust and desire, you’ve planted yourself on his face. Tongue instinctively darting out, he tastes your slick and the mix of a whine and a groan escapes him. The sensation sends a jolt of pleasure through you, making you grind down on his face harder to chase your own climax. 
Heizou’s pussy eating skills are honestly pitiful but he almost makes up for it through his sheer enthusiasm alone. Messy slurps and moans fill the room as he clumsily laps up at your folds, drenching his mouth and chin. Your thighs clamp down on either side of his head but he shows no signs of slowing down or even stopping for air.
“I-it’s all… hahh… bark and no bite with- ah! -you isn’t it, Heizou?” All you get in return is a pathetic whine as he shifts so his nose nudges up against your clit. And that’s what it takes for you to cum. You ride out your high, your pace slowing down while you try to catch your breath. As your gaze refocuses, you catch a glimpse of the damp patch growing at the crotch area of Heizou’s pants and you laugh at his dazed drunken expression when you get off of him. 
Looks like you weren’t the only one who came.
“I’m impressed with your performance for now, detective. But for higher accuracy, what say we go for a few more rounds?”
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🏷️𝑹𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝟏𝟎𝟐𝟗: 𝑲. 𝑲𝒂𝒛𝒖𝒉𝒂
He’s probably the one who brings it up after overhearing one of the many raunchy conversations between Captain Beidou and the Tianquan (someone please buy him noise-cancelling earplugs)
The more he thinks about it, the more the idea seems viable. Besides, if it doesn’t work out in the end, the two of you would have learnt more about your tastes and preferences!
But seriously, he needs to pick a better time to spring his suggestions on you. While dining at a food stall, he nonchalantly asks you, “Would you mind if I… went down on you… the next time we make love?”
You almost did a spit take at his words
Internally cursing Beidou (how dare she unknowingly corrupt your adorable Kazuha before you can!!), you swallow your beverage before replying
“If it’s what you want, I’m not opposed to it darling”
The smile he flashes you is blinding and the moment would’ve been more tender if it weren’t for the previous lascivious question 
Sigh, still, how could you say no to such a cute lover
He’s another inexperienced one, years of drifting around and never really settling down with anyone means that he’s physically exposed to a lot of things for the first time with you
But he’s open minded, always open to trying out new experiences and kinks while making sure the both of you are comfortable
While he eats you out, he gets a little intoxicated by you, enjoying how you feel against his tongue, savouring every inch of you
Nothing else in the world matters right now expect pleasing you and making you cum on his face
Although you’re the one riding on him, somehow he’s the louder one????
He lets out muffled breathy puffs and moans, whining and squirming under you as he licks and indulges in you, occasionally calling out your name interspersed with, “More!” or “I love you!”
Feeling your orgasm building up, you gyrate your hips downwards to drive his tongue deeper in you
You cream on his face and he doesn’t hesitate to clean you up, not wasting a single drop (he’s really such a dear!)
The next day, Beidou gives him a firm slap on his back, chuckling about how she’s “glad that he’s getting some, but please keep it down, the other crewmates are trying to sleep”
Kazuha is understandably mortified and downright embarrassed at her words
He looks in your direction for some help but all you do is just laugh and think to yourself:
How can you make him scream your name next time?
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🏷️𝑹𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝟎𝟏𝟎𝟑: 𝑾𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒓
Granted, you were a little tipsy after a night out of drinking with Kaveh but you just had to bring it up to Wanderer as he’s hauling your drunk ass back home
“Hey… how about… hic!... you eat me out next time…? Hmm?”
He’s so thankful that you passed out in his arms before you could see his face explode into a shade of crimson at your words
“Seriously, how are you so shameless?”
When you wake up the next morning and go about your day, you can’t help but notice that your sweetheart has been staring at you nonstop (from across the room, sitting opposite you at the dining table, you name it)
However, whenever you try to ask him about it, he scoffs and hastily brushes you off, tilting his hat to avert your eyes while he rushes off (before inevitably coming back to continue staring at you 🙄)
Sick and tired of his antics, you manage to corner him and interrogate (read: bully) an answer out of the man
After he spills the beans on how he's been fantasising about what you said last night, you turn your gaze downwards and true to his words, he’s already drenched in his shorts
“To think the high and mighty Wanderer would be so affected by a passing comment, how lewd!”
Things progress quickly and the two of you find your way into the bedroom, lips locked in a heated kiss with hands roaming each other’s body
As you break from the kiss, he lays back and prepares for you to ride his face, resolve steeled even if he’s never done this before
You hover over his face since you’re worried about potentially suffocating him but he clicks his tongue and straight up says, “Are you looking down on me? I obviously have no need for air unlike you mortals do. Sit. On. My. Face.”
Hands grabbing your thighs, he plants you down on his face and goes to town
He eats you out with a feverish devotion, spurred on by the moans and praises that slip past your lips as if they’re the most divine hymns he’s ever heard
(If you’re his god, then he’s more than happy to be your throne!)
His eyes roll back when you tug on his hair as you cum, the pain mixed with pleasure muddies his senses but it doesn’t stop him from slurping up your release
Shakily pulling yourself off of his face, you think you hear a whine from him, violet eyes teary and pupils blown wide
You push his legs apart and settle yourself in front of his wet cunt, your hot breath fans across his sensitive folds and he has to stop himself from rolling his hips down to meet your face
“You were so good for me sweetheart, now let me return the favour yeah?”
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Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡
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trannyctophiliac · 1 year
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not good enough for you
where you feel insecure because you genuinely feel like you aren't good enough for him, but he thinks otherwise.
{CW!!: suggestive, mentions of reader wearing a skirt/dress but gn, different types of insecurities, js know you are stunning with all of that baes <3}
characters: ayato, childe, cyno, diluc, tighnari, and wanderer
- set in modern au for a few, ~1.2k words in total -
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ayato: pillar of fortitude
you being insecure just influences his spending habits on you. it increases tremendously.
of course he'll comfort you, give you attention, all that jazz, but him?
he buys even more things he thinks you'll look absolutely lovely in.
dress shirts, dresses, skirts, shorts, literally anything that he might think you'll like he'll get it.
you walk out of your shared bedroom with your hands behind your back and your gaze cast to the floor timidly. ayato nearly choked on the boba he was drinking when his eyes laid on you. the way you looked up at him with your eyes all the way to how you stood, he thought you looked ethereal. "my love, how could you be insecure when you look so lovely?" he pulls you into his arms, hands going down your waist. "are you sure? " you mumbled, your eyes focused on the ground. rubbing over your hip dips before cupping your ass, ayato used his other hand to make you look up at him. "you have nothing to worry about.. let me spoil you."
childe: tartaglia (did my man WRONG)
he honestly thinks you're joking when you first tell him, that's how good looking you are.
he hypes you up a LOT more than usual, making sure you feel extra special before anything.
being so fr, he's the type to comment first and most under your instagram posts
most definitely brags about you on his socials as well, has a highlight for you and everything
cyno: judicator of secrets
"childe, why am i getting hundreds of notifications? from YOUR account?" your boyfriend shrugs as if he doesn't know what he did, replying with a simple, "just making you feel good, that's all." after going to the notifications, your heart gets more and more full as you read the compliments he paints your phone screen with. they all came with such love and adoration which varies from "THATS MY S/O RIGHT THERE YOU GUYS!!!" to dumb pick up lines that have you rolling your eyes. you smile softly as you like every single one of his comments, pinning one at the top of your post. despite his cheesiness, you know from all of these that childe truly does think you're the prettiest.
his jokes slowly turn into cheesy pick up lines about how pretty you are, like those REALLY bad ones
its sort of misleading at first and makes you think he's doesn't care, and trust me he does! he's just bad at words of affirmation
not to mention, i believe he tells you you're so pretty and amazing and beautiful and just EVERYTHING in bed
he's totally up for fucking you in front of a mirror to get it through your head about how pretty you are
when he walks into your small shared apartment after a grocery run, he sees you staring into the mirror. you're poking your stomach fat around your belly button, sighing softly. he comes up behind you, kissing your neck softly as he wraps his arms around your hips. cyno digs in his pocket to pull out a small card, before saying, "good thing i have my library card, because i'm checking you out." you look up at him with an attempt at a deadpan, which morphs into a moan as he starts touching your hips, slowly going lower. "if you can't understand how gorgeous you are, i'll make sure you know by tonight."
diluc: the dark side of dawn
he would for sure be such a good person to talk to about your insecurities to and receive comfort
i think that when he was younger, he was also a little insecure about his appearance because of his hair and eyes, since it wasn't normal (i js know that when kaeya came around he got less and less insecure as he grew up but THIS ISNT ABT THEM.)
he would kiss every insecurity and go on rants about how much he loves them, because he loves every part of you
for the sex life? things like stretch marks make him go FERAL. literally all of your beautiful insecurities make him FERAL
as you let out a small moan, diluc spreads your legs open and start kissing up and down your thighs. your stretch marks were more prominent in the moonlight coming from the window, and that alone made him hard. "you're so beautiful my dear.." he took his finger and traced over them. when you looked down, your eyes widen to see him, looking at them like how people look at constellations in the sky. looking at them with such admiration, diluc kissed them over and over. "so pretty.. let me make your pretty body feel good."
tighnari: verdant strider
he would 100% accidently turn it into a lecture about self-confidence and would go on and ON
after knowing about your insecurities, he would bring flowers from his research and give them to you, they reminded him of you
although he would comfort you plenty, he is one sassy ass fox so he would be very sarcastic when you do bring yourself down
he would list all of your achievements while calling you the dumbest person he's ever met
"yeah you are pretty dumb now that i think about it." your heart dropped as those words came out of his mouth. before you can say something, tighnari continues. "it's not like you won the nationwide botany fair for sumeru or anything." your lips formed a pout as you spoke, "but you were my partner! of course we got won." he rolled his eyes before looking at you with a deadpan expression; "did you forget i was sick the whole time? you had to do it by yourself." a shy "oh" left your lips while his arm wrapped around your waist. "have more confidence in yourself you big lummox."
wanderer: eons adrift (named kunikuzushi for convenience)
he's like tighnari in a way, but much more heavy on the sarcastic and snide comments
he can't really comfort you because he can't even believe that he's good enough for you
tries his best though, always makes an effort to compliment you, even if the compliment is very choppy
isn't the best person to go to for insecurities plaguing your mind but it's nice to be around him anyways
you yelp in pain as kunikuzushi flicks your forehead out of annoyance. "shut it, you're giving me a headache." you sigh, "i'm being serious kuni, i really don't think that i look good enough for you." as your teary eyes dart to the ground, you feel his arms wrap around you. "you are so annoying.. of course your good enough. more than good enough you dumb fuck." you smile a little at his harsh words, knowing that's his way of comfort. while trying to stop your tears from falling, you couldn't hear his soft words in your hair. "you're so fucking pretty, i hate when you say otherwise dumbass."
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written 3/20/23 || credits go to me || asks open <3
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astrxealis · 2 years
Text
sorry for rambling so much about milgram btw my thoughts are often a mess and i think too much about it but i am good now i think <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#i finally properly get fuuta's character i think teehee. after a lot of thinking and thinking and thinking#it hurts my head a bit ngl (figuratively) bcs ejghbghjag i try to look at it at all sides and whoops i end up getting confused w#what is the truth and what are my actual beliefs/feelings/thoughts a bit! </3 but my head is clearer now (hooray!)#anyway yeah fuuta innocent. guilty -> innocent -> innocent imo!! can't say totally for sure tho w the 3rd but i think he shld be forgiven#i feel a bit ehgbah for my thoughts being so messy before (also scared someone will misunderstand me) but i think yeah i was looking#at it already in the 2nd trial perspective. how to explain. but yeah blah blah blah yeah!#i think he's a good guy at heart fr but he. yeah. and i think there's smth to do with the 'pressure' and all with that#he needs to hold himself accountable for his actions even if it may be true that yk. he isn't the only one and it's rather sad he's the#only one who got all the blame so i get why he's acting that way even though ofc it isn't okay in the end. dude needs to admit and all#and he's getting uhh better! i want to talk more oops but it's almost 2 pm holy shit. i'll probably put my coherent thoughts in my notes#instead. but yeah. tbh i'm not sure if i can really say he always felt somewhat guilty/regret ever since the start#bcs it's he may just first feared the consequences but then again he never expected it to escalate to death (tho even if the#outcome turned out to not be that bad. cyberbullying is never okay!!! bullying is never okay!!!!!) but he's the character#who puts up a front of sorts and as someone who often likes characters like that. it's possible i'm misinterpretating him but#personally that's how i see it ^___^ but dude yeah guilty first trial fr so he can be more yk to really loosen up and admit it n all#or at least. take a step closer to doing so. yeah!!! okay i think i've properly cleared my head now#i just hope no one like. misunderstands me from my many rambles WABHBJHBG#oh i actually really relate and understand fuuta actually. yeah. NOTHING AS BAD AS HIM i mean that genuinely but yeah#he's starting to accept that his actions bring heavy consequences and he's showing a lot of guilt and regret. still a tough front tho#aghhhh i really hope he gets voted innocent this time around for real. he's a good guy at heart and i do think he always knew#he was guilty. and etc etc etc i stop rambling now zzz love fuuta fr tho his character means a lot to me actually#actually idk there's still a lot to his character i feel. it's either from his perception still or yk. does he actually feel guilt?#but yeah imo he does. and i'd like to believe that too also bcs i get his character but i ofc can't still tell for sure!#blame shifting may still be a problem. he feels regretful for sure i believe but for what reason is a question still#tbh judging fuuta here is (for me) like judging me from a bit into the past so sorry if i'm really fired up about this.#i get he's just a fictional character but i really want to do this 'right' (but what is right tbh?)#in any case even with all the complications i think he's improving. sort of. and guilty is concerning for him if he YEAH. so innocent.#oops too much tags but i get it now <3 !! also btw i've never bullied/cyberbullied anyone just to be clear :] just to be clear
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