#but he’s rather not kill ppl do he just threatens them into leaving that part of town

[ganondoodle]

yr brain? galaxy level. i wanna hear all ur lore and stuff

you know what ? im gonna write the basic plot for soogas backstory here now too-

- his parents were both sheikah soldiers serving the royal family, they were nearly never home so he barely even knew them and was pretty much living on his own from a young age on

- they both died while on a mission far away, but that didnt change much for him other than him having to find a way to earn money himself now

- when he was a teenager he was recruited by the royal family (he wanted to tho) which is also where he met Hibiki (my only real zelda Oc .. sorry gotta involve them now- this is how they look, although they are older here than when sooga first met them

i think i forgot to post this on tumblr lmao; anyway they are an artist and a bit older than sooga)

- since they were both outcasts with no relatives that cared about them they quickly became friends (tho it was def more one sided at first bc Hibiki is a way more extroverted ) tho Hibiki has been a bit longer in the army so they rarely went on missions together and only hung out during breaks or when they had both time off

- even after years of training they both stayed in the lower ranks of the army and never managed to climb to a higher one, part of the reason was that Hibiki didnt do a good job of being a spy, not bc they were detected, they just never had much information to report for some reason and Sooga always defended them when they got bullied by higher ups for it (you know how he threatens ppl) which in turn made him less liked and got him almost kicked out once (and yes, Hibiki did have a crush on Sooga but he never realized that even tho they made it REALLY obvious)

- you know the story how link got appointed as zeldas bodyguard ? with him deflecting a laser from a malfunctioning guardian to protect the princess ? yeah, so in my hc, while he did deflect it it didnt straight up hit the guardian back but rather was simply redirected and although Hibiki tried to pull Sooga away it still hit the left side of his face which is how he got that big af scar and lost his eye

- he survived and of course Hibiki was there to take care of him whenever they could, but the more time went on while he recovered it was made clear that the higher ups wanted to kick him out of the army after his wound healed bc they didnt think he was fit to fight anymore missing an eye (thats what they said but it was pretty obvious they just wanted a reason to get rid of him) 

- Hibiki reassured Sooga they would do everything they could to convince them otherwise bc they knew that all he ever wanted to do is be a strong and respected soldier serving the royal family, but who would listen to the worst spy in the whole army .. he got kicked out anyway of course and was forced to work as a farmer (more like help other farmers really) 

- from then on Hibiki was trying to be a better spy, so they could earn enough respect to maybe get the army to welcome Sooga back into their ranks

- but one day when Sooga returned from some field work he noticed a new grave at the corner of the village, and asked who died, it took some time for him to find out it was Hibiki who fell in battle bc after they left the village they never returned so the other villagers forgot even their name, the army brought their body back into the village since they were borne there and didnt have any living relatives

- that was what pushed his resentment for the kingdom and the other sheikah over the edge really, he stole some ancient hidden away sheikah scrolls from the elder of the village and used them to teach himself some techniques ... or at least TRIED to, the only one he was able to manage was a half functional clone, which he used to fake his death and live a live in the shadows, staying away from settlements out of fear of beign recognized

- he made his way into the gerudo desert where he never went to before, and in a cold night snuk undetected into the yiga hideout in the search for shelter since he wasnt equipped for that kind o extreme weather .. tho he didnt realize what he just did

- in the morning he was found after all and, understandably, attacked bc wth how did that guy even get in here ?? after he managed to survive for pretty long given the circumstances, he tried to flee but was stopped by master kohga himself, and while kohga was monologing about .. stuff, Sooga realized this might be his chance to live a proper life again and that pretty close to what he always wanted, so he promptly asks to join them

- positively surprised kohga of course cant just accept him into the clan like that, i mean Sooga was wearing sheikah clothing and got UNDETECTED into their hideout and took a nap there for several hours before being found, thats suspicious as hell

- after being put through several tests and challanges he is accepted into the clan after all-

- now fast forward post calamity (just a few years tho) the topic of Soogas origins comes up and he tells kohga alot but is interrupted bc koh ask him if the friend he was talking about was “a kinda weird artist” ... turns out Hibiki died in a clash with the yiga clan and ... was killed by kohga himself.

- Hibiki always carried a sketchbook in a bag around with them, and the clan took it after their death bc they thought it might contain useful info, it didnt, but since the sketches in it where pretty good they kept it anyway even if it was only half readable since it got soaked in blood

- that is a reveal that tested soogas loyalty to the clan like nothing else could (everyone in the clan including kohga, was expecting him to turn against them again, but were still waiting for him to actually betray the clan)

- sooga didnt turn on them tho, reason was, he managed to seperate the pages of the sketchbook that were stuck together from blood and discovered finely detailed art of the hideout, of its interior too and even of kohga as well

- Hibiki never had much info to tell their superiors bc they snuk around the hideout when on a mission but never with the goal to rat the clan out. they secretly admired kohga and the clan, even wanted to join them for a long time, but never got to do it bc they didnt want to leave Sooga behind but also .. they were afraid to tell him bc he was so focused on becoming a good sheikah soldier they were sure he wouldnt feel the same; they were torn between wanting to join the yiga but afraid of destroying their friendship with sooga ..

when they got into that fatal fight with the clan, kohga didnt even attack them with the intend to kill and they could have easily dodged or parried the hit, the reason they didnt was, ironically, bc they were so stunned by admiration of seeing their idol right in front of them they didnt move a muscle until it was too late...

this got longer than i thought, maybe i went into too much detail here, but anyway this is a summary of the backstory i came up with for Sooga, it doesnt end here tho, this is more like the story of how sooga became part of the yiga; after all of this comes alot more tho it wouldnt make much sense to add that here too xD 

sorry for the long af post, i hope its somewhat understandable ;__;

#ganondoodles answers #headcannons #zelda #botw #sooga #long post #and thank you #;__; #i know i answer way too few asks here #but be sure i always read and appreciate them #<3

[peanutpinet]

Nine Percent Mafia Scenarios

Cai Xukun

Cai Xukun, a name that is well-known whether you go to the same school with him or not. He was notorious for not only being the heartrob of the school, the best basketball player the school had ever had, a hard-working student and a caring person.

Even so, there was a rumour going around that he was part of a gang. Now, this wasn't your typical school gang or a motorcycle gang but more so a mafia group. Not only that, the rumours has it that he is even a leader of one of the mafia's group.

But despite his reputation, Kun was never one to play with people's feelings. So he would always decline people's confessions as nicely as he could. Truth be told that it was mainly because there was already someone that caught his attention since the first day he came to the school (*cough*you*cough*).

Of course, because of his reputations and all, he didn't really want to make his crush that obvious, especially when he was in a mafia group. Though, his group were more so dealing with the actual scums rather than causing trouble for the authority (which is why the authority would let his group go).

But that would soon change during one of his important matches. Not only was he against his school's biggest rival but also his mafia's rival. If he won the game, it'd be killing two birds with one stone.

Unfortunately, when the match was going fairly well for Kun's side, his rival's side had their own set of tricks. Apparently, some of his rival's group were scattered around the school, finding one specific person, you.

While you did try to put up a fight and all, you were outnumbered and the opposing rival managed to get ahold of you. Once the game was over and Kun's team had won, they had to shake hands with the opposing team which of course, Kun did as well. However, when he got to his mafia's rival, he received a disturbing information.

"It was a good game but looks like you guys could still use some practice" Kun snickered, shaking hands with his rival

"I wouldn't be too cocky if I were you, August" his rival challenged, making Kun tensed up upon hearing his work name

"Don't test me, especially in school. I suggest you leave quietly unless you're starting to pick a fight" Kun barked

"Heh, well, let's see how tough you can get when you're with (y/n)" his rival mentioned, makin Kun gripped on his rival's hand even more

"What do you know about (y/n)?!" Kun growled

"Why don't you come by dinner tonight? I'll send you the location" his rival smirked, taking his hand back and leaving the school along with his team

Kun instantly contacted his own members, asking them to track your phone since he tried calling and texting you but you didn't reply him at all (which is actually very rare unless you told him you had something to do).

At the same time Kun received an unknown message, his members found your phone's location which was completely different to the location in the message.

Kun then split his group to two, with him going to the location he got from the message whilst the others go to the location where they tracked the phone down.

It wasn't that much of a surprised that you weren't at the location Kun went. But that didn't stop Kun from going brutal with the rival gang. After he was done there, he went over to where you actually were on his motorcycle.

Arriving at the scene, Kun wasted no time and just knocked the rival gang even when he was still on his motorcycle. When Kun did get down from his motorcycle, he kept going until he finally reached you and pulled you into a hug.

"Are you alright? Did they hurt you?" Kun asked, concern can be heard from his cracked yet soft voice

"I, I'm alright, Kun. I just got a slight bruise but nothing too serious" you admitted, holding onto Kun's hands that were almost 2x your hand size

"If you ever come near her ever again, I'll show no mercy next time. Now scram" Kun hissed, making the boys run away from the scene

"I'm fine, Kun. Don't scare them like that" you stuttered

"Let's go, let's put some ice pack onto that bruise, hmm? Then we can continue watching that drama you were watching. Let's go boys" Kun mentioned, pulling you to his motorcycle

Chen Linong

Honestly, Nongnong is just too soft to be part of the mafia. Which is also why he is perfect to be the spy in the mafia XD alright, onto the scenario

So, I imagine that you were one of the bad girls in school. Not bad as in you caused trouble but more so you look like a baddie when you're actually nice to the ppl close to you. One of which was Nongnong.

When Nongnong first came to the school, he looked so cute and soft that you swore that you wouldn't let anybody bully him nor hurt him at all. You even helped him get used to the school.

Time passed by and you and Nongnong were quite close with each other that even went on a few study dates here and there; which Nongnong of course would take you home like the gentlemen he was.

But one study date made you change your mind how you saw Nongnong. All this time you would always feel the need to be the one to protecc precious Nongnong, but this time, it was the other way around.

The both of you stayed a bit longer than expected at the study cafe you guys always come for when you were doing school stuff. But of course both of you have told your parents and Nongnong even told your parents he'll still bring you home safely.

As the cafe was closing, you and Nongnong finally head back home when suddenly a gang of motorcycles came by and stopped right in front of you. Nongnong tried his best to tell them off but for no apparent reason they just burst up and went to charge towards you and Nongnong.

You've experienced fighting before which is why you were still standing, unfeared of what this gang could do. But as you were about to fight back, Nongnong quickly stood in front of you and beat all the people in the gang; scaring them off and even threatening them that if he ever sees them again or even hears about them when he's around, he won't go easy.

"Are you ok (Y/N)? Are you hurt anywhere?" Nongnong asked, his voice turning into his normal soft voice

"I, you, what? Who are you and what have you done to my sunshine soft precious Nong?!" you exclaimed, pointing at Nongnong and at the slight mess he made

"Ahaha, I'm also super Nongnong!! Remember? But for reals (y/n), are you alright?" Nongnong asked in concern, holding your hands in his

"I'm fine. You didn't have to protect me though. You know I can fight" you mumbled

"I know. But you shouldn't have to fight when I'm around. I'll take care of you even when I'm sick. As long as you're fine then I'll be fine. Come, let's go home" Nongnong softly whispered, pulling his signature smile as he pulled you away from the scene and head back home

Fan Chengcheng

Kay, first of, boy looks like he ready to throw a fit or something XD also, crazy to believe that he was just 18 here. Kay" scenario

For this I imagine that Chengcheng had to attend a wedding of a family member (let's say it's his cousin) and his parents expect him to bring someone or they'll make him mingle around with the people at the wedding.

Because he much prefer to bring someone he knew, he immediately called you to come join him; telling you that he'll find hair, makeup and stylist for you so all you had to do was just join him. Though you're not much of a social person, Chengcheng got you by telling you that there'll be your favourite foods.

Time skip to the day of the wedding

You arrived at the Fan's house and was greeted by Chengcheng's sister, Fan Bingbing. Because you've been to his house several of times, truth is, his parents and Bingbing were thrilled to hear that Chengcheng invited you to join.

Bingbing then directed you to one of the rooms that was filled with different clothes and she even helped you picked out an outfit then brought you to another room where there were people ready to do your hair and makeup.

After nearly 2 hours of getting ready, you were finally done and Bingbing was helping you zip your dress when Chengcheng came in already in his dashing suit. Bingbing then gave a smirk, leaving you with Cheng.

"Wow, you look amazing? You're probably gonna outshine the bride. Here, lemme help" Chengcheng exclaimed, helping zip your dress up then looking at you in the mirror

"Speak for yourself. That glasses really suits your look. Not to mention the slick back hair with a slight green/blue tone?! Damn, Cheng" you replied as the both of you looked in the mirror

"C'mon, I want one mirror selfie then we can go to the actual event" Chengcheng requested as he took his phone out and taking a mirror selfie with you

After several more pictures, Chengcheng's parents finally called you both and the both of you went downstairs; where Chengcheng's parents and sister were waiting.

After around 30-40 minutes of being on the road, you all arrived at the venue, took some pictures and were redirected to where you would be seated.

"I have to go for a bit. My parents made me go see my cousin then his bride. You just stay here, alright? I'll have someone send some appetisers or any snacks" Chengcheng whispered to you

"Sure thing. Go go, then we can play whilst we wait. Justin is waiting for me right now" you mentioned

"Better be just one game. I'll be back. Don't start the next game without me, tell Justin that I'll take his food next practice if he leaves me out" Chengcheng pointed out, walking away

"Oi!! Watch your step!!" you scolded then went back to playing

Chengcheng's POV

"Why do I have to meet her?" I complained

"Because it's to welcome her into the family" my parents replied

"Ah yes, welcome someone we almost never met into the family" I cursed

"Fan Chengcheng, behave. I heard she's quite lovely" my mom scolded

"Fine. But it better not be long" I scoffed as the security opened the door and I went into my cousin's bride room

"Fan Chengcheng!! I'm so happy you could come to my wedding!!" my cousin's bride exclaimed

"Yea yea. Hold it. You....Jia Xiaoli (random name). You're my cousin's bride?! What trick you got now?!" I threatened standing right in front of her

"No tricks, Cheng. I promise!!" Xiaoli smiled

"Cut the act Xiaoli, you bribed me into dating you and if it wasn't for (y/n), my family would be in jeprodize" I barked at her

"Ahhh right, (y/n). I haven't seen her in a while. How is she?" Xiaoli asked

"She's not your concern. Stay out of my sight and (y/n)'s. And if you ever hurt my family, I'll show you no mercy" I scoffed, banging on the door and returning to where I left (y/n)

Unfortunately, when I arrived back, (y/n) was no where to be seen. I scowered the whole venue yet she wasn't there. I then rushed out to the bathroom, hoping that maybe she was there. I even tried texting her but after 30 minutes and no answer from her at all, I got anxious; like something is wrong here.

I then went out of the venue and contacted Justin if he was talking with (y/n) since they were playing games together. Thankfully, I got somewhat of a lead. Justin mentioned that he's actually on a "call" with (y/n) but he muted his microphone because he heard some other people was on the other line with her. Justin also mentioned that he's trying to track down (y/n) and after a few minutes, Justin sent me her location.

Not caring that the event was starting, I rushed to find (y/n) which turns out, her phone was at one of the hotel rooms of the venue. I then listened to the room first and when I heard (y/n)'s voice, I wasted no time and barged in, dodging all the attacks of the men within the room, knocking them all out one by one and took my jacket off, wrapping it around (y/n).

"Are you ok? Did they hurt you? What did they do?" I asked, pulling (y/n) into a hug

"Nothing, thankfully. They made me go with them and when I felt something was off, I called Justin but put the volume at the lowest, hoping he'll know my situation" (y/n) explained

"It's alright, I'm here. I've also asked Justin to come. C'mon let's get outta here" I mentioned, holding (y/n)'s hand

"Justin? Is he invited? What are you gonna do?" (Y/n) asked

"He'll be invited soon. We got a wedding to crash" I snickered, taking (y/n) away from the scene

Justin Huang

Tbh, I don't think this pose will really fit into the scenario but I will try. Okie, onto the scenario for Justin!!

For Justin, I imagine that you guys were living together along with Chengcheng, Yanjun and Kun for a film shoot and one night, you and Justin were heading out to buy dinner since the geges were basically passed out.

As the both of you were on your way, Justin noticed some sketchy people stalking the both of you. Justin made sure to keep an eye of them but didn't realise that there were a whole lot more of them that blocked your path and while you did put up quite a fight, you were eventually taken and was out of Justin's sight.

When Justin realised you were gone, he didn't waste any time in calling his geges and immediately went to find where they took you. Justin was definitely certain that they were part of the opposing gang that's always trying to get on ninepercent's nerve.

After a bit of running and even getting his geges help, Justin finally found the hideout and instantly barged in. However, the condition he found you in was not a pretty sight.

⚠️ Trigger Warning!! ⚠️

Not only were you bounded to a chair but it seemed that you were being beaten up, there were visible new purpleish bruises on your legs and cheek, not to mention some part of your clothes were ripped, your hair was messed up and even blood was dripping from your mouth, hands and thighs.

At that moment, something in Justin just flipped. As if he turned off his humanity switch (except for you). No-one was going to block his way to you. If they did, he wouldn't care whether they're a guy or girl, he'll put them down.

One after the other, Justin would break their arms/legs, the sound of their suffering even urged Justin to go even further; to the point where Justin didn't care whether he broke their bones, pulled their muscles or so on.

Once all of them were down on the ground, Justin finally managed to get to you. He crouched down to your height and wrapped his jacket over your shivering body and asked if it was alright to carry you which u only gave him a slight nod; and at the same time his geges arrived at the scene.

"It's alright (y/n). I got you, we're gonna go home now, kay?" Justin cooed you as he carried you in his arms

"Justin?! (Y/N)?! Are you guys alright?!" Kun asked as Yanjun and Chengcheng were prepared to shoot anyone

"Sorry to ask this but please take care of them. Oh and make sure they're still alive. I have unfinished business with them. I'm taking (y/n) back first" Justin requested, walking out of the scene

Lin Yanjun

Tbh, I'm not a fan of this jacket on Jun XD but his gaze bruh, his gaze!!! 🔥🔥 okie, scenario!!

For this scenario, I imagine that you were in Yanjun's hometown in Taiwan and apparently Yanjun's 10th year high school reunion was coming up and decided to bring you along since he only planned on staying for a bit then take you out elsewhere (also to keep all those girls in line before they lashed out on him)

After getting ready and all, you and Yanjun excused yourselves from Yanjun's parents and went out to the bar where the reunion was held. Ofc, when Yanjun entered, so many of his ex girl classmates were thrilled, until he showed up with you, hand in hand.

Yanjun just nodded and waved at his ex classmates before introducing you then he pulled you to the near corner of the table since he knew that you were somewhat socially awkward.

After having a little drink and snacks, it was now almost 9pm and Yanjun wanted to treat you out to the night market before going home. He asked if you wanted to go now which you gave him a slight nod. He told you that he'll go to the restroom for a bit before you leave.

After his restroom business, one of his ex classmates (a girl) went up to him and talked for a bit. At first it seemed like a simple catch up until she started to clustered the space and asked some personal questions about you. Yanjun was quick to know the situation he was in and immediately took control and straight up turned his ex classmate down, making his way to where he left you.

However, he noticed that some of the guys were trying to flirt with you and it seemed that they were getting a bit touchy that you seemed to be quite uncomfortable. Yanjun knew that coming to the reunion was a bad idea. Not only the majority that came were the school bullies but they were also part of a gang which 9% has been paying a close attention to.

Even so, Yanjun know that you could handle yourself and when your gaze met with Yanjun's, you immediately tried to excuse yourself but then one of the guys gripped your wrist which in return you slapped their hand away and even shoved them back down. Just when you managed to get free of these crazy people, another guy managed to grabbed you and pulled you down but at the same time, a dart flew and hit the the person's hand. Everyone then looked to see Yanjun's killer looks.

As everyone was distracted, you pulled yourself up at the same time Yanjun came and stood in front of you, holding your hand softly. Stroking your knuckles, he asked if they did anything else which you shook your head and told him that they just tried to flirt whilst the girls were already somewhat drunk. Yanjun gave you a slight apologetic smile before going back to his cold gaze towards his ex-classmates.

"Can't you tell when a woman is clearly not interested and taken? The next time you do that to my woman or any sort of girls, it won't be a dart flying and the target surely won't be your hand" Yanjun warned, rubbing your knuckles softly before starting to leave

"You think you're all that huh Yanjun?! Just because you made a name for yourself now, you can do as you please, huh?!" one of the guys challenged

"Heh, I'd watch my mouth if I were you. Wouldn't want people to know about your 'illegal business' or the fact that you've been out with 10 different women this past week, now would you?" Yanjun challenged back, slightly smirking as the guy's face suddenly turned pale

"Thought so. C'mon (y/n), let's get outta here. The night market doesn't close until 11pm" Yanjun whispered, giving you a genuine smile as you went out together hand in hand like how you came in together

Zhu Zhengting

Mama Ting!! That gaze!! I surrender!! I won't play games till late at night!!! Kay", scenario time!!

Ok, for mama Ting, I feel that he's dating with a normal office worker (aka you), you guys met through mutual friends and for some reason, Zhengting feels at ease whenever he's with you (like, not awkward at all, unlike with most girls).

Zhengting was just waiting at your apartment and cooking up some dinner for the both of you since you told him that you might be coming back late due to an important meeting with your boss.

Once he heard the door unlocked, Zhengting welcomed you with his soft smile and sparkling eyes that was full of love (also open arms) which you gave him a tired smile but immediately hugged him when you've put your things down.

"How was work? What meeting was it? Oh, tell me over dinner. I made your favourites!!" Zhengting mentioned, guiding you to the dining area where he has prepared dinner

"Thank you, Ting. It was a confusing meeting honestly. Like, my boss suddenly asked about my relationship with you" you explained as you started to eat the dinner

"Really? Does your boss know me? Like know know or was he just trying to hit on you?!" Zhengting questioned, his tone getting serious

"Not sure. He was trying to offer me another job which paid quite a lot but it has something to do with my relationship. Like, when I told him that I was in a relationship, he gave this weird look like he wasn't satisfied and just dismissed me. Saying that he'll think about it" you elaborated

"Hmmm. Whatever you do, don't take the job unless he gives you the full details, alright? And if you're worried about money because your current job isn't paying you well, don't fret, I'm here!!" Zhengting exclaimed

"I don't want to leach off of you Ting but yea, I'm not gonna take that job. I'm planning to find a job elsewhere and resign once I reached my one year mark" you explained

"Good!! Now finish up then shower so we can go watch some dramas" Zhengting cheered

It's been roughly a week or so since you told Zhengting about the offer and Zhengting was currently at the bar along with Kun because they had to spy on some men coming to the bar; something about opening a brothel or an illegal business of some sort.

When the people were already there, both Zhengting and Kun split up to get some information out of the men. Nothing in particular really caught the two's attention up until one of the men brought up a file containing your information.

"I'm telling you, she's the best looking one in my company. Not to mention, whenever she wears skinny jeans, it just fits her body so well. Anyone would die to take her and our business will blow up" one of the men mentioned, pointing at a picture of your face

"But you mentioned that she's taken. Are you sure you can get her to join?" the other men asked

"She needs the money. Plus, I can always cut her pay and tell her that this job suits her better" the men mentioned, laughing

But oh boi, they picked on the wrong girl. Because the minute Zhengting heard the conversation and was sure that it was your picture that they used, he immediately gave the guy a good punch in the face, knocking him down and holding a gun up right at his temple.

"I take it you like using helpless woman for your illegal money? Not only that, using them then abusing them before you discard them. How annoying. I'll give you a few minutes to confess everything before I blow up your brainless head" Zhengting barked, his gun was right by the man's temple

"So you're her so-called boyfriend, huh? I'll just kill you here and..." the man scoffed but his scoffed turned into a scream as Zhengting shot the man's leg

"I was wondering who was my girlfriend's boss as he was so daring to ask about her relationship but was unsatisfied when he realised she was taken. Well, this is still consider verbal harrasement, right Kun?" Zhengting snickered

"Sure thing. Since we got some evidence here, pretty sure he'll get fired the second we inform this to the authority. Also, he'll probably lose all his wealth" Kun replied

"Wa-wait a minute?! Kun?! As in the Cai Xukun?! Leader of 9%?! Does that mean...you...you're..." the man stuttered

"Zhengting. Zhu. Zheng. Ting. The so-called boyfriend of the woman you're trying to hire into an illegal business. Oh well, save your breath for the court" Zhengting replied, a smirk plastering his face as the man's face turned very pale

Wang Ziyi

For this specific picture of Ziyi, I imagine it being a bit similar to mama Ting's one. Where you were just a normal worker, not an idol/actress/artist or even a daughter of a famous company owner. You were just you; which, to Ziyi, you were everything.

Now, unlike the in mama Ting's one, you weren't offered a new job at a new location that was completely different to the one you were currently in. However, the boss of your company did pay a close attention to you. He would often try to flirt with you, send you flowers or even directly asked you out; which of course you declined them all.

This happened even before you met Ziyi. But unfortunately, it still happened even after you've been dating Ziyi. However, it wasn't as bad as when you weren't dating Ziyi. You dunno whether its because he finally started giving up or because he knew you were dating someone since you never really told him you were actually dating someone.

But while your boss may not know that you were dating someone, you did tell Ziyi about how your boss has been flirting with you and all. But we all know how patient Ziyi is. Not only was he patient in hearing your complaints and all but he was also patient with your so-called "boss". Well, that is until he ran into your "boss" at the gym.

You and Ziyi have been going to the gym quite regularly (let's all pretend it aint covid) and normally Ziyi would treat you lunch (which is how he got you to go to the gym with him). So, Ziyi would normally go and do some weight training whilst you just went to do some cardio (like on the treadmill or bicycle).

It was going like normal until you were about to do a bit of weights yourself (like that pull-up weight thing) and as you were going to do your thing, your boss suddenly came up to you and you guessed it, tried to flirt with you.

You tried to tell him off nicely but the same time scanned the room to find Ziyi who was apparently at the boxing area. It took a good 5 minutes or so but Ziyi finally saw you and understood your situation.

He was about to tell the guy off nicely until he saw the guy closing in the space between the both of you near a wall. And lets just say, Ziyi was finally at the peak of his patience and just snapped at the dude.

He pulled the dude back and twisted his arm till you can hear a crack. Ziyi then told your "boss" off and even threatened him because apparently throughout this whole time, Ziyi was doing a lil "background check" on your so-called "boss".

"It's not nice to pick on a lady who's clearly taken. Especially when you, yourself is also taken" Ziyi scoffed, pushing the guy further back

"Aghhh, l-let go off, m-me. This isn't even a fair fight" the guy stuttered as Ziyi pushed the guy who eventually fell downwards

"I suggest you leave and not hit on anyone. Unless, of course, you'd like me to tell your wife about it" Ziyi threatened, taking his phone out and showing the guy some pics of his affair

"I, I'll get lost. Just don't show this to my wife or anyone" the guy babbled, rushing to leave the scene

"C'mon (y/n), let's go get lunch at your favourite" Ziyi mentioned, grabbing your hand and giving you his signature (yet sweet) smile Xiaogui

For Xiaogui, I imagine that he was the owner of a well renowned bar in Shanghai. It's been a tough week for you and when you told Xiaogui all about it, he felt sorry that he flew all the way to where you work, telling you that he'll stay over the weekend so the two of you can have a chill weekend together.

But, on the way back to your place, Xiaogui got a call from the bar about someone looking for him. He asked you for permission which you know that it was his bar and so you told him that it's alright. He gave your hand a light squeeze before speeding up to the bar.

Upon reaching the bar, he directed you to a secret door which led to his private office. He told you to just stay there whilst he takes care of the things at the bar.

However, not long after Xiaogui left, you suddenly had a bad feeling, as if you were being watched or something. You weren't dumb and you knew that Xiaogui hid his gun in his office (I mean, the dude taught you how to do self-defense and how to use a gun). You went over his desk trying to find the gun but the secone you held it, you felt a gun being pointed at the back of your head.

"You know, what ghost around, comes around" a deep voice mentioned, the gun being pressed by your head

"Now be a good girl and put the gun down" the man stated as you slowly put the gun down but only to make him lower his guard so you quickly upperhand him by taking his gun

As you manage to upperhand the attacker, he started to attack you which was not good. Sure, Xiaogui taught you a thing or two but when you're faced with it in real-life, that's a different story. You tried to keep your composure and threw his gun far away so it'll just be a hand to hand combat but you were still at a disadvantage.

You were already being cornered and as you took the nearest object as a weapon/shield, the attacker told you that you were no match for him. But as he was just a hand reach away, the door slammed opened and a bullet was shot right at the attacker's chest, close to his heart. You divert your gaze only to meet with Xiaogui's gaze.

"Touch her one more time and I'll make sure you live a living hell before I actually send you to hell, myself" Xiaogui stated, a signature grin was plastered on his face when he saw the attacker fell on the floor You Zhangjing

If Imma be honest, this was another hard scenario but here goes nothing.

So, for Zhangjing's scenario, I imagined that you, Zhangjing, Yanjun and Nongnong had to attend this special dinner that the opposite gang was going since they had some deals to handle.

You knew that it was quite a risk by going but they needed someone to come with them so it wouldn't seem too obvious that they were planning on handling the opposite gang. Plus, you get free food so that was a major plus.

Which is how you ended up in a little black dress with your arms linked with Zhangjing and Nongnong as Yanjun was in front of you, all four of you making your way to the ballroom hall of the hotel the dinner was being held.

Yanjun, being Yanjun and the third person in charge in 9% reminded everyone of their jobs. Also reminded you to stay near by them and let any one of them know when you wanted to go somewhere like the bathroom or some sort.

After rediscussing the plan, Yanjun was the first to excuse himself because he was the hitman of the group. Nongnong also left to mingle around and get some information. Which meant, it was you and Zhangjing.

Of course, it was no surprised that the two of you immediately headed to where the food is. The both of you were enjoying the food and occasionally talk with the other guests at the dinner until Yanjun called Zhangjing to request some hacking which Zhangjing proceed in doing.

But in the midst of hacking, you had the urge to go to the bathroom and told Zhangjing that I was gonna go which he told me to quickly go and come right back to his side which you agreed.

After finishing with your bathroom business, you went out to try and find where Zhangjing was but got a bit lost and this dude was trying to get on my nerve even after you declined him so many times. I mean, one Yanjun is more than enough.

But when this guy was persistent, you decided to fight back which he clearly didn't like at all. You knew lots of fighting skills and self-defence stuff by being with 9% for a long time. Heck, you were their most trusted person other than each other.

As you were about to end this little disturbance, the guy was knocked out cold and you saw You Zhangjing out of the 3 men you came with. His gaze could rival Yanjun (emphasis on could XD)

"Can't we just have one night of dinner in peace? Haish. C'mon (y/n), let's go back and enjoy our dinner" Zhangjing stated, extending his hand out as you went to grab it

"You know I had it under control" you stated, pouting

"I know. But I wanted it over with, plus the deal is done and we can go order in with everyone" Zhangjing exclaimed as the both of you skidded through the hall

#nine percent #Nine percent scenarios #Nine percent imagines #cai xukun #chen linong #fan chengcheng #justin huang #huang minghao #lin yanjun #zhu zhengting #wang ziyi #xiao gui #wang linkai #you zhangjing #Cai xukun scenarios #Cai xukun imagines #Chen linong scenarios #Chen linong imagines #Fan chengcheng scenarios #Fan chengcheng imagines #Justin huang scenarios #Justin huang imagines #Lin yanjun scenarios #Lin yanjun imagines #Zhu Zhengting scenarios #Zhu Zhengting imagines #Wang Ziyi scenarios #Wang Ziyi imagines #Xiao Gui scenarios #Xiao Gui imagines

[kalinawtokilig]

S/O with a Charming/Sharp Tongue

Get ready I’m getting all mystic and biblical;

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing...” (Proverbs 12:18) 

But we’re gonna use that to SWORD TO THRUST INTO PPL

Pair(s) : Hinata Shouyou x Reader, Goshiki Tsutomu x Reader, Yachi Hitoka x Reader, Koganegawa Kanji x Reader, Haiba Lev x Reader

------

Hinata Shouyou x Reader

((Clementine babes,, *cue puppy eyes*))

It wasn’t much of a surprise tbh

Okay it kinda was 

It’s just,,, Hinata can match anyone’s wavelength, y’know??

This babe thinks you’re so frickin cool,,, throwing spats on someone who decides to make the first move to insult you,,, bruh you are literally throwing out clever insults that can make Tsukishima impressed

At first, he was intimidated by you, and was a bit biased, having heard you had the same mannerisms as Saltyshima

He still tried his best to befriend you,, 

And it worked! 

Being paired into a group project, he introduced himself as bubbly and kind as possible 

and damn,, ya heart melted,,, 

You became friends as you both bonded over which type of meat buns taste good after a study 

and you being a sharp, s m o o t h, muthafuca, you said

“If we’re talking meat buns, how bout I take you on another study date? Pork buns, right, Hinata-kun?” 

This boy had to process what you said and became a total pomegranate 

“ : 0 “

“Alright, cutie, c’mon if you get this question right, maybe we can get outta here and get snacks :3c “ 

You’re gonna kill him

and i think we all know he’s okay with that

Goshiki Tsutomu x Reader

((Omgahhh this babie,,, He is one of my fav first years in HQ,,, I do not pimp,,, I simp))) 

You’re actually a second year whilst this bowl cut bahbie is a first year

When Shiratorizawa lost to Karasuno, it was a defeat that reigned with rumors of how the volleyball team isn’t as great as everyone thought they were

Goshiki was greatly affected by this

:((((

He feels he failed his Senpais and felt more of a disappointment rather than a failure

You being a tutor of his, you guys would occasionally converse about tips on self-care or he explains with the cutest expression when he talks proudly of perfecting a spike

he seemed normal, but you can obviously tell he was not okay

Tsutomi-bae was trying to hold his tears in while the students that accompanied the library talked about the defeat of Shiratorizawa

Having enough of this trash talk, you sternly declared each one of them, even seeing a few second-years from Shirabu’s class. Setting them straight and saying that if they can take on the freak duo that happened to attempt to take down not only Dateko, Seijoh, and Shiratorizawa, then they might as well try to come back to school, defeated as well  

 You say at least Tsutomu was able to play against them, playing proudly as the upcoming ace and knowing at least some of their tactics

Sitting down with a huff, you nonchalantly continue to tutor him

He sits there, starry eyes wide, mouth agape, and a pink flush on his face to the tips of his ears

Tilting your head, cutely, I daresay, you ask him if he’s alright

“Y-Yes! Thank you, (Y/N)-senpai!” 

Humming, you smile slyly, “You are really such a cute kohai, Tsumtomu-chan.” 

Congrats, you killed someone

Yachi Hitoka x Reader

((YESZ I SIMP SIMP FOR HER I AGREE YACHI SUPREMACY))

You were a second-year in Nishinoya’s class

You were actually good friends with the libero 

as he was short tempered and ready to throw punches

you were ready to assertively borderline aggressive hurl insults on those who hurt your precious friends

unfortunately, while in a spat against other students, Nishinoya almost foaming at the mouth with Tanaka holding him back, you were snarkily talking the students down into their place

It was their defeat after Seijoh and it hit a sensitive topic to them

Yachi had been bringing paperwork to the teacher’s office and nearly BOLTED when she heard you talk with such confidence with provocation and underlying threat 

when you were finished putting those maggots in their place, your pissed off glare landed on Yachi’s

Oh,,, she’s shaking,,, terrified,,, 

Hurry to leave, she quickly turned around but rammed into the wall, packets falling to the ground

she scurriedly tries to pick them all up,, Babygirl almost shits herself when you tower over her

“P-Please don’t-”

You crouched down to her and she’s sweating bullets, seeing that your hand it outstretching until-

“I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean to glare, you just so happen to be in my line of sight.” You apologized, helping up pick up the papers

Glancing up, you smile as kindly and less threatening as possible, “I didn’t mean to scare an angel like you, I really am sorry about that.” 

Yachi tries not to combust at the compliment you’ve thrown at her

Getting up, she nods her head in thanks and you ask, “You’re Yachi, right? Noya says another student joined the club, Yachi, he told me. He was right,”

“About what?”

“Managers, specifically you, really do bless the eyes of a person like me.”

Stop killing ppl you sadist

Koganegawa Kanji x Reader

((I have a thing for blondes,,,, Not atsumu tho, I’ll peg the sh-))

this babie, can just be frustratingly cute

its not that he’s stupid, it’s cause he does more action than thinking

when he does think, it’s on the court and it’s in full hard drive

You usually get into petty spats with Futakuchi cause he’s being too hard on Kogane

“It’s not my fault you have such an obvious crush on him, (Y/N) <3”

“It’s not my fault that you have no one to worry about you the way I do for him Futakuchi-kun </3″

People often mistake why you would for,,, a bubble headed blone himbo like him

“Why do you go for people that are toxic and continue to go back to them when they obviously want your convenience :) ?”

Kogane literally needs to carry you to prevent further provocation

Lots of people don’t get WHY him

And you tell others to worry about their own bitter, single, loveless lives rather than your better and healthy relationship

You are salty and jab at them when they so much as talk negative about your boyfie

Kogane really appreciates you for stepping up for him, but he worries for how far you’d go for him

“...”

“...well?”

“Do you...need me to murder someone, baby?” 

“NO” 

“Oh, then you got your answer sweetcheeks ;D”

You, my friend, need to stop

Haiba Lev x Reader

((Silver-grey haired babes HIT DIFFERENT))

Being in manager of Nekoma is like,,, chaotic but in a way you NEED to prevent Kenma from strangling Kuroo for taking his Nintendoswitch and Yaku yeeting a ball at Lev’s tall ass

Until YOU wanted to yeet a ball at your boyfie’s tall ass

He finally was able to spike a ball. 

but you caught it 

with your face

and blood seeped outta your nose

Kuroo: This is my part no one els- Kenma: Shut up 

Fiery anger. 

Yaku is the one restraining you from going on an all out roast, covering your mouth and holding your shoulders

“Yes, yes, (Y/N), Lev is an idiot.” 

“RAAWRFRREG”

“I agree, he can be a pain in the ass, but YOU’RE the one dating him”

“...”

“DONT FUCKIN LICK MY HAND YOU ASS”

Lev is so sorry. he is so sorry, so so-

“Lev, give me a towel..”

“Yes love.”

While Coach Nekomata calls a break, he chuckles at the young couple, that being you and Lev

Kenma cringes

As he cradles you with his larger figure, a hand resting on your head to lay on his shoulder

“You’ve improved on your spike, bae.” 

“I did?!”

“Yeah, next time aim for Kuroo’s unnatural bedhead, maybe if you hit it, it’ll turn back to normal.”

“Oi, oi (Y/N), watch it. Rudolph.”

Lev freezes when your eyes smile with confidence, and he restrains you

“YOU WANNA CALL ME NAMES? BRING IT ON YOU TAPU KOKO LOOKIN’ MUTHAF-”

Kenma : “nice pokemon reference”

#hinata shouyo x reader #goshiki tsutomu x reader #yachi hitoka x reader #koganegawa kanji x reader #haiba lev x reader

[ringmyheart]

Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

#Lookism x reader #Goo x reader #Scott Kwon x reader #Jake Kim x reader #Goo Kim x reader

[tartagliaxx]

first off, hello 🤷‍♀️ anon! sorry i missed you out

and secondly, dw, marius is my favourite too lol, he reminds me a lot of my younger cousin who i lived with when i was younger. i was always the one who took care of him and marius calling me older sister just set off so much memories of my childhood. the both of them are also vv similar in personality, attention seeking, playful and artistic so i always see him whenever i look at marius.

artem is probably my second favourite ngl, ever since i read his ssr where he was jealous and got drunk (what a good combination lmao) i just grew so soft for him. at the end of the day, he's just a vv soft sweetheart who's insecure that we'll leave him :(( i have like 3 ssrs at lvl36, two of them are artem cards and the other is luke. i vibe with luke too bc i love the childhood friends trope, it's top tier. and as for vyn... i have vv mixed feelings abt him. i feel like he could so easily see through me if he was real and i'm just like, how about no. he's rlly pretty though, like rlly pretty.

*major spoilers*

and you've finished the archon quests!!! personally, i feel like the ending felt a bit rushed(?). it's weird bc i thought the resistance war against the raiden shogun was supposed to be the center of the story, but it just devolved to us helping yae with the entire war being swept to the side. and i already knew somebody was gonna die, and as soon as i saw that teppei had become the captain, i just knew.

it's interesting bc i would love to explore what happened to la signora and scaramouche to make them so disregarding of human life. like, i don't like them, but i want to understand their minds. it's sad to read signora's artifact's background honestly. and the fact that her crown said she used to be called rosalyne, that she had perhaps once led a more innocent and naive existence. i dunno, to me it seems like a good ending for her honestly, she had already lost herself after her lover's death and brings pain to many others, i don't think she can rlly return to being her again.

and honestly, a lot of people are talking abt scaramouche not telling signora he already had the gnosis and saying that he orchestrated her death, i don't rlly think so. i feel like he's just that apathetic to human life, even if it's someone that stands on his side, he just doesn't care enough. it also says how he never got along with anyone, not even his fellow harbingers, so i don't know why ppl expect him to seek out someone he doesn't like just to warn her of danger.

i vibe with scaramouche and la signora as the antagonists bc they're good antagonists, but as characters, well. other than the fact that they're pretty, they have like one likeable trait and that is their loyalty. they would do anything for the tsaritsa even if it cost them their life. i'm rlly excited to see what the tsaritsa has in store for us in the future.

considering our sibling is nicknamed 'the prince/princess', i wonder if there's gonna be a day where we're gonna have to go toe to toe with them. if we had them backed them into a corner with no way out, i wonder if they would kill us. it would be an interesting twist if we could actually die, but i feel like the protagonist halo will prevent it lol and i'm sorry bc god, this is so long.

— r. anon

marius. that’s the tweet. man,, you dont realize how in love i am w him?? like,, this man was literally my only hope when i fell horribly sick. i cant w myself now that i’m hearing it w my own voice. it must be nice to remember the good ol’ days… i despise my cousins and i dont have siblings so i dont really have that sort of connection w him. to me, his onee-san is just a joke? a petname? idk but it simultaneously makes me so mad and giddy just like childe’s existence does

i like vyn bc his vibes are sus but at the same time, he’s cares abt our mental health 🥺👉👈 no one’s ever said shit like that to me… jokes aside, luke is seriously threatening his spot bc of his blushing bs like pls 🤲 i’m so weak for that shit give me more. artem makes me soft too like,, he keeps mentioning that he trusts us and he’s just…. HE’S A BIG TEDDY BEAR THAT BLUSHES AT LIKE ACCIDENTAL HAND BRUSHES GRRRR. in conclusion, i love them all.

but man,, give me ssr luck… literally, im in pain…

now that the excitement’s worn off, i can now judge things properly. i think that… the pacing is horrible. like the plot is good, genuinely, but there’s just,, so much to explore abt this. if you think abt it, this is the climax and yet we didnt get much. scratch that. we got a lot but it’s all underdeveloped that it felt like nothing. we go to sangonimiya, got promoted, became captain for like, one sec before we are sent onto an investigation that didnt really produce any results bc app teppei alr knows everything? and then the delusion thing is a good plot point but it’s not really explored? just… a lot of things are left unexplored and i think that story wise, a lot of the possible lore explanations went down the drain. it would’ve been nice if we saw more abt the rebellion and if we had gotten to know whats the real deal w the commissions but eh… idk… i would’ve rather done more quests abt this whole storyline than like… do that whole dance w the three people who lost their vision in 2.0.

if im going to be honest, la signora is such a wasted character. like maybe her death was just for the shock factor or maybe it’s to prepare us for more harbinger encounters in the future.. idk but she’s such a good character from what we’ve seen but we know jack shit abt her and her motives. we know a little from the artifact set but beyond that, what do we have?

precisely! that’s how i feel abt this whole thing when we’re talking seriously. like w ei, i dont really agree w whatever they’re doing but i want to understand why they do the things that they do. everything has a reason and their psychology is just interesting to me.

i think scaramouche’s nature makes it easy for him to disregard human life. call it arrogance or whatever but ultimately, he’s seeing himself as smth above all these people bc he’s more or less capable of standing toe to toe w a god. why should he bother telling signora? it’s not like he gains anything if he does. i think that when he got the gnosis, he’s just ‘well she dies if she dies. who cares abt that? i dont have any need for incompetent colleagues anw’ i agree and i dont think he orchestrated her death but at the same time, he just allowed it to happen too.

as for signora, i’m actually surprised? for the most part, i think that the harbingers took their posts for selfish reasons. for scara, it’s to entertain himself and pass time. for childe, it’s to fight and grow stronger. for dottore, it’s to conduct dubious research w/o anyone stopping him. i expected signora to have some similar motive like power or money but it seems like she does actually believe in the tsaritsa? it would be very intriguing if signora’s main motive in becoming a harbinger is simply bc she is loyal to the tsaritsa and her will. bc in contrast, i think scara and dottore are more loyal to the fact that the tsaritsa can give them what they want, not bc they actually like her. actually, idek if they’re willing to die for her lol. like i wouldnt be surprised if they suddenly abandon post in a life or death situation but who knows…

in any case, they are very good antagonists. i like yo think that the tsaritsa isnt as bad as the game portrays her to be… of all the gods, she’s the one im looking forward to the most but… haha… what version would that be….

i’m almost certain that they’ll make us fight our twin maybe before we face the unknown god? if one of them dies, i would be very sad. like legit. but knowing mhy, well, our twin is almost 100% a walking death flag.

anw i’m shutting up rn— i also spoke too much kahdjabdhakbsjansb—

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗ #˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : r •°ˎˊ˗ #inazuma spoilers

[mistabullets]

The Lovers, Chariot, Temperance, Wheel of Fortune, The World and The Star for Jotaro for the yandere tarot asks? (also quick note thank you for doing yandere stuff!! I totally understand people who are uncomfortable with the trope but so many people are quick to things like insults or doxxing or suicide baiting over it )

NOTE: you’re welcome!! i’m honestly comfortable with doing darker subject and it’s crazy how ppl go through so much hate for writing stuff like yandere?? honestly that’s wack lmao

The Lovers - How would this yandere deal with their darling being in a relationship with someone else?

Jotaro isn’t the type to immediately voice his displeasure upon hearing his darling becoming intimate with someone who is not him, especially if they have separated. However, there’s a glint in his eyes when he attempts to interact with his darling, a hidden malicious darkness brewing in his sharp eyes. He’s going to observe and stalk them in the shadows, Star Platinum providing enhanced vision and making the tasks easier. He’s studying their routine, where his darling frequents, and when would be the best time to attack which is easy since he knows them oh-so well. The moment strikes right whenever their darling and their partner return to their small home; no one else is home, the sun is setting, and his darling has a habit of leaving the door unlocked. Once he manages to enter your home, Jotaro will use The World to stop time and take care of his darling’s significant other. Jotaro has trained himself to extend this ability to up to fifteen seconds which is plenty of time. He’ll quietly kill his darling’s lover, by using Star Platinum’s inhumane strength to break their neck, right at the axis of their skull. When time resumes, his darling is met with the gruesome sight of their lover’s head dangling and twisted; however, they are more terrified when their senses are filled with the faint scent of the sea before Jotaro covers their mouth with a cloth dosed in a sickly sweet aroma. “It’s time to go home, Y/N.”

The Chariot - What freedoms would this yandere allow, and take away?

Over the years, Jotaro would wed with his darling and insists on them giving up on their dream job and insist on him taking care of the bills so he has financial control over them. Over the years, they would slowly lose more of their freedoms, quite unaware they were doing so. Eventually, Jotaro will comment about some of the individuals they may hang out, particularly anyone who voices their concern that their husband may be too overbearing. While he’s a man of few words, his darling trusts that their husband knows what is best and will subtlety cut ties with friends who challenge their marriage. Jotaro quite literally takes care of his darling and their needs and wants... it’s difficult to find a job when one is lacking experience and connections, when one have children to take care of, and so much more. Jotaro has molded his spouse to believe that he knows best, he takes cares of them, doesn’t he? -- so much so, where they are willingly giving up friends and hobbies that Jotaro has the slightest problems with. 

Temperance - What made this person yandere for their darling?

He met his darling while travelling to Egypt; at first, he thought nothing of them but over time, they gain his attention and camaraderie since their stands pair so well together. It was a normal friendship, filled with laughter and crying, mostly on his darling’s end. He appreciated that they were quite mature but was able to easily bring a smile and soft chuckle to each Crusader. But when the group finally encountered Dio, Jotaro almost witness the death of his darling which brought him to an epiphany: he loved them so much, he wanted to hold them, and he wanted to protect them at all cost. Combine this, the culmination of stress, and losing three friends who helped him so much just to save his mother... well, it basically traumatized and warped his view of his darling at a young age. While a part of him numbed, accustomed to death, another part of him discovered motivation which spiraled into obsession with his darling. After the battle, while visiting his darling at the hospital, he quietly vows to keep his newfound and twisted love safe and his, no matter the consequences, as long as he had them. 

Wheel of Fortune - Would this yandere’s behavior stay the same over time? If not, why do they remain the same?

No. Jotaro has been pinning for his darling for years and thus, attempts to change himself and better himself. He stops being so rude to his mother, he holds his tongue when it comes to his entourage of fan girls, and he begins to focus on his studies more and more so he can support both himself and his darling. However, his yandere behavior also changes over the years and he learns to mask his dark intentions better. Rather than beating up their admirers to the pulp, right in front of them, he takes them out through subtle means without his darling’s knowledge. When he lands a decent job, it becomes easier to control his darling since at this point, they are now a married couple, not having to worry about familial interventions. He insists they don’t have to work so he can financially trap them, he’s always aware of their location with high tech tracking secretly installed on their phone and car, and uses subtle means to make his darling spill any information about their life outside the home. Oh, they became friends with a rather upbeat and friendly new local? He better keep tabs on that. Jotaro has more connections compared to his darling which helps him significantly. 

The World - Would this yandere ever give up on their darling?

If he ever reflected over his trauma and what triggered his obsession with his darling, he may consider the possibility of giving up his loved one, if it’s clear to him that his actions are obviously hurting them. However, this would be a tremendous effort. Jotaro has convinced himself over the years that his darling needs him; they rely on him, he gave them so much, they been together for over a decade so it couldn’t possibly end, right? Yes, he may be killing those who consider potential suitors or anyone who may spark his darling’s interest? His loved one has been manipulated to believe there will be constant death nearby and that is part of life, especially with their stand abilities. Perhaps this is part of the Joestar curse which their husband always insinuates about, which always lingers in the back of their mind, subconsciously justifying tragedies which seem to naturally occur when they are around anyone. Thus, they accept it and have also grown accustomed to death, being damn near close times before. However, if his darling ever grown tired of the constant death and discovered Jotaro’s murderous rampage, all caused by his obsessive love for them? He would understand if they wanted to leave; which is why he must be meticulous, keeping his expressionless visage and feigning innocence when he hears his darling chat about another tragic death of a good friend.  

The Star - How would this yandere deal with their darling’s loved ones?

If they ever grew suspicious of him or grew worry about how much his darling has given up their freedoms to be dependent on him, Jotaro would assure with them that it is their wishes and that they are grown adults. However, if it’s a persistent issue, he may grow short with them and give them cold replies. He will make comments about how his in-laws are nagging him to his darling, being brutally honest and intentionally making his lover pick a side. While they do care for their parents, family, and loved ones, Jotaro is right. How dare they make a scene, wondering if they are truly happy? He saved them, cared for them, and provided them with all they ever wanted. The next time at a family dinner, if they expressed any negative criticism, his darling is going to vehemently defend Jotaro and even threaten to cut off connections. Sure, they may have given up their dream job, maybe they’re a bit too much of a homebody, perhaps Jotaro can be overprotective but life doesn’t always go as plan, right? Their husband is proud, glad he has shaped his spouse to be so cooperative, lucky to have them grow into a quiet yet defensive lover rather than a bold bitch who seeks independence. 

#Anonymous #my writing #jotaro kujo #headcanons #prompts #yandere tarot #unhealthy relationships cw #stalking cw #yandere cw #financial control cw #a mix of part 3 and part 4 #mostly part 4 though #part 3 jotaro kujo #part 4 jotaro kujo #stardust crusaders #diamond is unbreakable #jjba #jojo #jojo's bizarre adventure #long post #sfw

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 10 notes

oh wow yeah the layout of these will just forever be trash now bc it’s a lot of formatting work like a LOT sorry

• Presentation prep

○ Jacob is doing a tier list of every smash character in the world ever

• Apparently picchu was really busted

○ Idk who picchu is tho

○ Peechoo

○ I think it's picchu bc I think I've seen that before

• Are waterbenders ghostbusters

• R we starting

A few my little pony quizzes real quick

• When we last left off

• We were using medallions or whatever to search for stuff

• Broke into the city of the dead

• Were ambushed but interrogated one of them after killing the others

• Adam convinced that one that we chucked the stone

• We let him live but adam took his pants

• Not midnight but it's raining a lot

What are we doing

• As we leave the graveyard adam is getting chains out of george bush and putting it back on the gate

• Nvm we're just gonna follow naya

• Put chains back on 

• Squelching through mud

• Make way back w little trouble

○ We were able to set up the stuff?

○ Looks like some ppl r patrolling

○ Still hard to see bc rainy so we haven't been noticed

• Keep following naya

• Make way out safely

• Naya varies the pace every now and then

• Rain dies off later in the night

• Start approaching poorer area of the trade ward; fewer shops and businesses, more poorer housing

• Naya looks like she's leading us towards a windmill in the distance

• Just a towering windmill

• Not much wind so not spinning

• Cel makes perception check at disadvantage, can't see anything

• Naya runs up and stops in front of the windmill then vanishes

○ The second time we used naya's scry power? Maybe? Nvm?

• Does ur wifi ever poop itself

○ Nice

○ Ok I'll just keep sitting here ig

• Ok we're in a dark room and can't hear any sounds of a bloodbath

• There's a door

• Adam puts his ear to see if he can see anything, perception check

○ 8

• Door is solid wood

• Adam opens ground floor door

○ There r two doors

§ One on the side and one on the top

§ Ok we're in the windmill

• Cel pulls out lantern

• Adam opens door and sees a lot of people who look like they're sleeping on the floor

○ 5ish

○ Look like squatters

• Adam rolls 22 perception to see if he recognizes anyone, no one looks familiar

• Sneak by them ? Try to ?

• Adam can see another door that goes further in

• Adam snaps tiny flame on finger and rest of us follow the flame

• We walk over to next door

• Not locked

• Quietly go through

• Asyna is going to stay in the first room w ppl to watch them

○ In case they wake up / as guard

○ "hehe . Shillelagh"

○ "whack 'em with your 'forget-me' stick"

• Proposition for asyna to pretend she's sleeping

• Enter next room, just as dark as other

○ A few doors leading to left and right in front of us

○ In distance can see more people sleeping but only two

○ Looks empty

○ Lights lantern

• Adam pokes head through closest door

○ There's just more people

○ Strategy to burn entire building will not work

○ Cel can't tell if anyone looks like they're armed

• Do I want banana bread

• Going to peek into all the rooms

• Every room marked w2 has ppl sleeping

• What's happening in w3

• "so I look outside bc I heard somebody blasting despacito… there's a pickup truck towing a boat and there's a bunch of teenagers on it raving" - dom, 2020

• W3 is a wc a water closet as in a bathroom

• W4 is a closet w some cleaning stuff and grains

• Some ppl have woken up but they don't bother to like really watch us suspiciously

• Upstairs we go

• Three doors leading out of the room but also a large millstone in the center of the room

• Under debris, soaking wet from a hole in the ceiling

• Adam tries to move debris

• Cel rolls 15 perception, can't hear anything

○ Adam rolls nat1 and the stone resists adam's efforts

○ Technically a 0

• What's behind door w6

○ Caved in sections

○ Floor littered w bird droppings

○ Adam investigates "that's a 12 for eggs dominic"

○ There are eggs but they are fertilized eggs

○ Adam has to b careful

§ Gently picks up pigeon egg

§ "I have a plan if combat starts"

§ Adam is now carrying a pigeon egg

• What's in w8?

○ W7 first

○ W7 is locked

○ Adam tries the key; theo makes perception check first

§ Nat1 so can't hear anything

§ Adam tries the key

□ "I'm gonna stick that key into the lockhole"

□ It doesn't fit

§ 14, can't unlock

§ Aerana tries, 22

§ Lock clicks open

§ Cel peers inside

□ There's an open window, the room is cold

□ There's a door leading into a separate room

□ Armoire

□ Also two human males holding shovels

□ "congratulations - you're free" - adam

□ "what the hell r u on about"

□ "we unlocked your door that was previously locked presumably from the outside but now the door's open and you can walk through it"

□ "we locked it on purpose"

□ "none of ur business how we do ours what do you want"

□ "why did you lock yourself in here"

□ "bc this is our apartment"

□ Smth abt a rock

□ A tiny boulder ?

□ Rolls 20 for insight

□ Guy had a flash of recognition but he doesn't have it

® But what r they wearing

® Indiscrete, utilitarian clothes

® "can we search your room or will you tell us all you know"

® "is that a thweat"

® "a thweat? O thorry sorry a threat"

® Adam rolls for intimidation

◊ 9

□ "we could just lasso them"

□ "how much health do they have combined"

□ "ok so you guys aren't gonna tell us anything"

□ As adam turns around to leave he casts sleep

® 5d8 

◊ "is their combined health equal or less than 22"

◊ "together they had 8"

□ Asyna moseys on upstairs

• I try so hard

○ And then things like this happen to me

○ It's fine, I say, albeit wholly unconvinced

○ Wow ok it really b like this

• Adam makes investigation check for anything in the bed

○ 18

○ There's a cut in the side of the bed w a bag of coins

○ "we shouldn't rob these people"

○ Apparently it's not a lot so we leave it

• Going to check other room

○ W8

§ Try to open door but immediately hit smth blocking it

§ Aerana and cel try opening the door

□ 14 strength check; doesn't budge

□ Peeking inside can make out a lot of heavy stones

□ 3 in gap

□ "so we can't fit through it . But a much smaller animal could probably fit through it"

○ Would b asyna's second wildshape

§ Investigate room wd40 but it's w4b

○ Asyna and cel r gonna go to w4b

○ Adam sticks arm through crack

§ Adam gets sense roof has collapsed

§ Feels beam of wood blocking door

○ Dom thinks we're too weak to hammer the door

○ Cel goes first

§ Dexterity save

□ 19

□ 2 damage; steps inside side closet and floor collapses

□ Falls down into w4a on first floor

□ Picks self up and goes back upstairs

○ Gonna try n shimmy over, 10 for acrobatics

§ Starts making way over then falls; dex save 11

§ 2 damage again

§ "uh hearing cel fall from the second floor twice , I come out"

□ Cel is gonna try and jump to w6

□ Adam gets crowbar from cel

§ Adam uses mage hand to open the door

□ Cel can just see a bunch of pigeon nests in w6

□ Cel jumps into w6

□ More pigeons

® Investigates; 20

◊ Finds the odd shiny thing a crow might've brought in; for the most part looks like a bird's dwelling

◊ Some fish bones in one of the nests

◊ Nature check, 5; can't tell what kind of nest

◊ They look like pigeon eggs tho

◊ Whisper yells to asyna "pet pigeon ?!"

◊ "are you gonna throw it?"

◊ "let me just tell you guys right now . You have more than one chance"

◊ Both have to make dexterity checks

◊ There are at least 5 eggs

◊ Cel rolls 22, asyna rolls 16

◊ The egg made it across successfully

◊ Cel just jumps back

○ Adam lightly pats down the two sleeping dudes

§ Some money, small utility knife

§ Gonna crowbar w8; strength check w advantage

§ Adam tries using the crowbar on the hinges, 8

§ Warhammer ? 15

□ 11 damage

□ "ok. Bonk"

□ "screws were invented in the first century so there WERE screws in the renaissance"

® Oil the door, adam tries to pop out the bolt with a dagger

® Two 4s

□ The people we cast sleep on are still asleep

○ Nat20 for athletics check to go onto the roo

§ You go to top of the windmill

§ Drop down into the room

□ Huge collapse of stones from the ceiling, beam of wood propped up against the door

□ Nat20

® Positive there is nothing in the room, just ceiling debris

○ "I'm gonna give their hands a little bondage"

§ "and then jerry seinfeld walks in like 'what's the deal with airplane food'"

§ Adam shakes the more serious-looking guy awake

§ Takes out key and asks if he's seen it

□ Wakes up and says "wot"

□ Other guy wakes up and is flailing

□ Cel rolls athletics check to tie him up

® 14, is able to tie him up

□ Looks at it and says it's his

□ "what's it for?"

□ "none of your business"

□ "you guys have a hobby of graverobbing?"

□ Adam says he's with the citywatch

® Deception check at disadvantage

® 9

® "yeah we're from the watch . Watch your back"

□ "why were u in the mausoleum"

® Jacob makes intimidation check w advantage

◊ 16, more serious one says "well u know we don't normally do that sort of thing"

◊ "we was paid to do it"

◊ "by whom"

◊ Lorsa morclav

} Losser mirklav paid them

– Asdjdmaf nice

® "what's the key for"

® "it's private"

® "can you make it public? For money ?"

® "45" adam puts knife closer to throat "I'm guessing that's a no" "I'm guessing that's a less please"

◊ Asks if we've played the dnd equivalent of poker

} Adam says he wants names first

} Younger one is urlaster

} Older one is volkarr

□ Threaten to bludgeon toes

® "how connected r u to ur toes"

® "rather intimately"

§ Says he buried his treasure

□ 10 to hit, slams ground

® Adam asks to see where loser mirklav is

◊ Southern ward

◊ By a bunch of apartments

◊ Half elf guy - cellar street ?

◊ Lives in an apartment

◊ "wig shop"

◊ "a weed shop"

◊ "a wIG shop"

§ "did u guys steal anything else from the tomb"

□ "we was hired to steal bones"

□ "losser's a necromancer"

□ Did they pick up a stone ?

® Losser saw a really thicc rat

® Losser kills the rat but it just vanishes, leaving the stone

® Losser took the stone

◊ Insight check, 8; can't tell if he's telling the truth

} "u guys broke into the tomb of a noble family for a necromancer for how much gold"

} 10 gold

} "we're keeping the key"

} "is loser the type of person that stays up at night"

} "well he's a mostly nocturnal fella"

} "yeah he likes his beauty rest during the day"

} "he's a strange little fellow"

§ "how badly do you want this key back"

□ "that's my life savings I want it back"

□ "what does losser look like ?"

□ Halfling fellow w long gray ponytail, he's wrinkly and smelly

® Is it bad that every time I hear the word necromancer I think necrophilia not necromancy

® "yeah I'm licking your life savings right now buddy"

◊ Adam fake swallows

} Performance check, 8

} "you're the worst actor I've ever seen"

} Actually swallows it

} "oh fuck"

} Key is made out of rusty iron

} "alright . Bye"

◊ "do you want your key back within 1-2 business days"

} "why don't you just puke it out"

} "I don't want to"

} "you guys keep quiet, I'll return the key to you in 1-2 business days"

} "that's disgusting"

} "alright . Bye"

– We’re leaving them tied up 

– "wow we're being judged" - marguerite, 2020

– We take their shovel

– "say what was your name"

– "reginald"

– "deception"

w Rolls a 20 total

w "that's shilanda shilanda brilanda and tiffany"

w Nat1

® "it might come out less rusty than it was before"

◊ "hey dom when should I roll for that poison"

§ Cel takes knife, toss the shovels

□ Barricade door ?

○ Going back to mirt's to rest ?

§ Go back to mirt's

§ Fog has settled in over streets, early early morning

§ Make it back no problem

§ Past midnight

□ Rest with watches

□ During adam's watch reads book

® Investigation check, 20

® Details house growlund and their lineage

◊ It's a genealogical book

} A lot of the pages are blank bc it's continuously added to

} At some point it's described that some of the children were born with tails

– "I look at my tail . Then look back at the page"

– But then those tails were amputated

} Any inbreeding ?

– Investigation check, 13

– There was inbreeding

□ Cel keeps pigeon egg warm

§ Morning arrives, daytime mostly spent in fog until noon

□ 8 a.m.-ish

□ "do I have to uh use the bathroom dominic"

□ "is there any key"

□ "oh I thought you were talking about real life"

® "does the key come out"

® "oh my god no it does not"

® "this is a great disaster"

◊ "it was a large key"

◊ "then how did I swallow it?!"

◊ "oh god whatever"

◊ Key was small enough for adam to swallow without choking

} I didn't say this but I thought it: what if he had practice tho

• Renaer is up

○ Cel grabs asyna and adam to go ask renaer to watch their pigeon egg babies

○ He is incredibly confused but he affirms he won't eat them

○ "ey what's poppin mirt"

○ "how's it going"

○ "groot is chunky" - aerana?

○ "groot is the best kind of chunky" - cel

○ "mirt, I'll buy you a wig" - adam

○ "make it purple"

§ Purple like …. : - D ahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahaAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA

• We bust our way down to cellar street

○ Southern ward is the one where a lot of ppl move to from foreign lands

§ Eclectic

§ We find a small shop w some wigs in the front

○ There's a young half-elf woman running front desk

○ Headstands w wigs in the front, some r purple

○ Adam walks up to the half-elf woman asking for a special order w loser

○ "sorry we don't have anyone by that name"

○ "losser?"

○ Adam wants a private meeting to place an order

§ Insight

□ 16, she looks surprised n confused

○ There was not an apartment above the store

§ This corner is mostly businesses

□ Nat20 wisdom saving throw

® She is uncharmed

○ Has gray hair, smells like an excessive amount of lavender, 

§ Says his name is val

□ Mirklav backwards

○ "is your boss here right now"

○ Lets himself in sometimes to say hi and to check in like once a month but he has a key

§ "how do you know him"

§ "uh do u remember how I said I was throwing a bar mitzvah ? He's invited"

□ 15 deception, works

□ She goes to the back

○ Nothing suspicious looking in the shop aside from the normal weirdness you'd expect from a wig shop bc it's just head mannequins

○ An elf walks in

§ "hey . Yo"

§ He nods

§ Doesn't necessarily look like he needs a wig

§ Wearing a tricorner hat like gwash

□ Makes idle conversation

□ "interesting things happening in the city, eh?"

® Heard abt the house that got blown up

® "oo . What's the juice ? What's the juicy gossip my guy"

® They say some kind of explosion

® Says he's more into politics

◊ "of course he is"

® "well I concern myself w the affairs of princes and princesses"

◊ Talks abt making deliveries

® "well many of them r comfortable . Of late I was able to make a v special acquaintance who essentially helped me w smth I needed doing"

◊ "I'm adam nice to meet you . Is it impossible to explain or "

◊ What's this guy's name tho

◊ Says he's good at making ppl happy or sad ???

◊ "you're like a performer"

◊ "do smth for us"

} He lost his silver handkerchief

– Can turn silver into gold, flicks it

– Admits puppetry is not his particular area of expertise

w Name is Jamboreal

w Nat20 insight check

w Looks different but it's the other guy

w Oh it's the guy the disguise guy your handkerchief bruh you really forgot about your own doings n stuff

w AHAHAHHA I SEE IT NOW OOPS wow I was really off

• Clerk lady comes back in

○ Brings back note of smth

§ We'll just sneak back later at night ig

§ Adam gives her a gold and says he'll take her purplest wig

□ Brings out a fluffy purple toupee

○ Wig shop closes around dusk

○ "do you want this wrapped"

○ "do you want to come to my bar mitzvah ? I'm turning 14"

○ Jamboreal is haggling a price down

§ Concept: take asyna to the zoo

□ Adam runs intelligence check for a 

□ Uh are we going to the zoo ? We're going to the zoo

□ There's a bunch of animals

Pause; next time we’re going to the zoo

#sn #10 #dnd #wdh #d&d

[sunsetsover]

I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on Ben having BPD

ok WHEW you just opened a fucking can of worms this about to be the longest post i’ve ever made i hope you have your seatbelt on

let me just preface this by saying nearly everything i talk abt in this post will be based off of my personal experiences w bpd. some people experience it differently, some people might not agree w some of the things i say, but i can only talk abt my own pov. therefore, this just my own personal opinions on ben having bpd. so yh lmao

and disclaimer!! i’m not a doctor!! don’t take anything i say in this post as diagnostic criteria! i’m not an expert or mental health professional!! when it comes to your own mental health or the mental health of ppl in your life, do not consider me a source to reference like ‘oh well lauren sunsetsover said xyz’ like pls just don’t do that. do your own research. and most importantly consult a doctor!!!!!! i am not one!!!!!!!!!

also there are very few sources in this post bc most of this is just shit i’ve absorbed over the years from doctors and doing my own research lmao

now that’s out of the way let’s go! (this became part character study, part informational masterpost on bpd. also it got really fuckin long, hence the read more, so be warned lmao)

warning for potentially triggering content (abuse/mentions of suicide and self harm - nothin too bad but i do touch on ben’s behaviour and history, and this is a p serious mental health issue we’re talking abt here so! take care of yourselves!!)

ok so! some things to keep in mind before we even get to ben:

i believe (at least in the uk) borderline personality disorder is considered to be an outdated name, and one that essentially isn’t appropriate or fit for purpose anymore, so in my experience, a lot of the time now it’s referred to as eupd (emotionally unstable personality disorder) in medical settings. which is way more apt name imo, and tells you more abt what bpd actually is (but i still call it bpd bc it’s easier and ppl know what that is lmao). so like. emotionally unstable personality disorder. i bet that conjures up a way more vivid idea in ur head than borderline  personality disorder does.

no one 100% knows what causes bpd, though it’s thought to be a combination of genetic and environmental factors, like most things. but the general consensus is that bpd develops when something (usually traumatic, but not always in an extreme sense. ppl w bpd have often been victims of some type of abuse in their childhood, but that’s not necessarily always the case) happens in your childhood that impacts the development of your personality. kind of a bizarre metaphor but hopefully it will help u understand: u know how in finding nemo, the egg nemo was in got damaged by the shark? and even tho the damage looked minor, it actually meant that one of his fins was permanently damaged - it was malformed, it didn’t grow right, he couldn’t use it properly? well imagine the fin = the personality; that’s what happens to a person w bpd’s personality. smth happens to us in our childhood that permanently damages our personality, and so it doesn’t grow and develop properly as the rest of us does, making it less functional than an average person’s. u can imagine how that can lead to all sorts of problem (we’ll get to them later)

but bc it’s a mental disorder that affects the personality, you can’t be diagnosed w bpd until you’re 18, when your personality is basically developed fully (i believe it can be diagnosed slightly younger, but those are rare and extreme cases). however, symptoms can start to present themselves earlier, as ur personality begins to develop and mature. (mine started presenting in my early teens)

bpd doesn’t really go away, and treatment with medication generally isn’t effective for long periods of time. however symptoms can be treated with continued therapy, and symptoms sometimes can start to ease as you get older!!

bpd also gets misdiagnosed a lot bc a lot of the symptoms are similar to that of other mental health problems. the biggest one it gets misdiagnosed as seems to be bipolar disorder, which i get tbh. i’ve always considered bpd very similar to bipolar, just like… quicker cycles. there are even memes about it. also bpd has a tendency to coexist w other mental health issues, which makes it harder to recognise and diagnose.

so now lets look at this from a diagnostic perspective

in order to be diagnosed w bpd you basically have to deemed, by a medical professional, to be meet certain criteria, and to have been meeting these certain criteria for a significant amount of time. there are some variations to this criteria, and proposed subtypes and basically different flavours of borderlines but i’m not even gonna go there. i’m just gonna talk abt what i’m most familiar w and how i think that applies to ben.

i’m copying and pasting the diagnostic criteria part from here bc as far as i’m aware this is the criteria doctors use for diagnosis. there are 9 different ‘indicators’/’criteria’, and you have to display or meet at least 5 of them in order to be considered for a bpd diagnosis:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

this is one of, if not the biggest part of bpd. that trauma i mentioned earlier? often stems from or is related to abandonment, or perceived abandonment, in childhood, be it physical or emotional. for example, a child that’s being abused by one parent might feel abandoned by the other parent if they don’t do anything about it, even if the second parent has no idea the abuse is going on. sound familiar? a similar thing happened to ben, with stella. phil not doing anything about the abuse ben was facing at the hands of stella - even though he didn’t know it was happening, even though phil did do something once he found out - was an abandonment to ben. and that’s just the tip of the abandonment iceberg for ben - kathy faking her death and leaving him was an abandonment (even when he thought she was actually dead), phil’s own abuse was an abandonment, as was his reaction when ben came out, and so on. and abandonment like that skews your thinking so you believe that everyone is going to abandon you, sooner or later, that they must be abandoning you for a reason, you must be a terrible person, you must be unworthy of people’s effort/time/love etc etc.

even when paul died, that was an abandonment to ben! like logically we know - and ben probably knows too - that paul didn’t want to die, he didn’t want to leave ben, he didn’t deliberately leave ben. but that doesn’t matter. mental illness is illogical, bpd is illogical, esp when it comes to abandonment. e.g. my therapist had to cancel a few of our appointments once bc she was ill, and it felt like an abandonment. like it was personal somehow, like she wasn’t coming into work bc of me, bc i was too much work, too hard to handle. ofc that wasn’t true, but that’s how it felt. it’s illogical. so ofc my solution was to just not go to my appointments even when she came back, bc like what other response is there lmao. it’s just that everything a person does feels personal, like it’s because of/about you, even when it isn’t. even when it has nothing to do w you. that’s probably why ben can come across at selfish at times, like he’s making everything about him. because it is all about him, in his mind. everything is because of him, is his doing, his fault etc. his way of thinking is skewed into thinking like that, bc shit keeps happening to him and ppl keep leaving him, so it must be his fault.

and!! ‘frantic efforts’ isn’t necessarily what u think it is!! it can be desperate begging ‘i’ll do anything to keep you in my life’ type actions, but it just as equally can be lashing out and abandoning someone in order to prevent them from abandoning u first - a ‘get them before they get me’ mentality  (the whole scene where phil was in the hospital comes to mind - the ‘why doesn’t he love me back?’ was the more desperate part of him, tho it wasn’t necessarily an ‘effort’ per se, but then him trying to kill his dad basically in order to have the abandonment be at least on his own terms? that’s lashing out, and def qualifies as a ‘frantic effort’ lmao). and how often do we see that in ben? lashing out at jay in the hospital because he knew he was mad at him, and he’d rather hurt jay physically before he could hurt him emotionally? ben trying to support callum and showing him kindness, only to turn around and threaten to out him when he finds out callum asked stuart to sort him out? everything that happened w his dad, trying to fuck him over before his dad can get there first, trying to get rid of keanu so he can’t be abandoned in favour of him (although that didn’t really work, but it rarely does work the way u want it to lmao). and the biggest one to me, though probably one that people have already forgotten, is him breaking up w that guy he was seeing in newcastle even tho they were into each other bc he ‘had to, otherwise [he] would have ruined his life’. even tho we don’t really get details, that says it all to me. it’s v much a pattern that’s present in ben.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as “splitting”)

i feel like this one doesn’t need much explaining lmao

here is a definition of splitting from here (which is a very good article on splitting imo if u wanna read more abt it): ‘Splitting is a term used in psychiatry to describe the inability to hold opposing thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. Some might say that a person who splits sees the world in terms of black or white, all or nothing. It’s a distorted way of thinking in which the positive or negative attributes of a person or event are neither weighed nor cohesive.’

a little explanation of it from me: ppl w bpd can sometimes have very simplistic, all or nothing views on things. and splitting is basically when ur opinion on something or someone changes very quickly (sometimes instantly), often to an extreme (e.g. going from loving and idolizing someone, to absolutely fucking hating them, or from having a neutral opinion on something to suddenly becoming extremely angry abt it) sometimes without even having an identifiable trigger. it links into black and white thinking, which u may have heard of before - u either love someone and they can do no wrong, or u hate them and they disgust you. either something is amazing or it’s terrible. there is no grey area, no in between. it goes back into the whole ‘not being able to regulate ur emotions properly’ thing lmao there’s rarely nuances to our emotions or feelings, we’re all or nothing a lot of the time. so splitting is when ur opinion rapidly changes to one of these extremes. sometimes u can even go back and forth, splitting over and over on the same person/thing which is super fun.

ben splits on his dad all the time. all the fucking time. he doesn’t care about phil at all and wants to ruin him, then he wants phil’s approval and to be welcomed back into the family fold and the business. then ben hates him and wants him dead, then 5 minutes later he wants his love, wants to be a good son again. that’s splitting. u can also see it w jay, too, but no where near as extreme as w his dad. and i’ve seen it a couple of times w callum too, but again, it’s way more subtle. u probably wouldn’t notice it if u weren’t looking for it, whereas w phil it’s obvious.

but like i don’t need to explain ‘unstable and intense interpersonal relationships’, do i? just look at the relationships w phil, w jay, w lola, w callum, even w paul - they were unstable back when they first got together, and were arguably kind of intense too. (he settled a bit w paul, but his death/perceived abandonment fucked him up a lot beyond the expected ways). he’s always arguing w the ppl he loves. he tried to get poor billy killed, and yet since then he’s had no problem w him!! none of his relationships - apart from maybe his mum and ian (i don’t include lexi bc she’s a child) - are stable. and i would definitely describe his relationships as intense lmao

3. Identity disturbance: Markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

u can see this most - as most things - in his relationship w his dad. he fluctuates between seeming to know his worth (and demanding other people know it too), knowing he deserves his dad’s love and approval (why else would he be so mad abt the fact hes not getting it, if not bc he knows he’s worthy of it? if he didn’t think so, he wouldn’t be so angry abt not getting it - he’d be accepting/understanding, wouldn’t he?) and being desperate to do anything to get his dad’s love/approval, even things that are below him, turning into a child, begging to know why his dad doesn’t love him, why he’s never been enough. that scene where phil had found out abt ben trying to frame keanu and leaving him for dead is the epitome of this. u can see ben fluctuate between a hurt, traumatized little boy, begging his dad for some answers, some explanation as to why he’s not enough, begging him not to start drinking again, and a man who is angry, angry at his dad, angry at himself for crumbling like this, bc he should be stronger than this. u see him change multiple times in that one single scene. go watch it again. you’ll see it too.

some more examples: his absolute certainty that he is better and more qualified than the likes of shirley and keanu for working with his dad, and then being like ‘my dad was right, i’m good for no one’ - they don’t line up. does he have self esteem and know his worth or not? also his entire relationship w callum is an example of this - all those changes in his attitude towards cal and their situation? he often treats callum like they’re equals who understand each other, yet sometimes it seems like he thinks he’s superior to callum (e.g. the scene outside the cafe), and others he behaves (keyword) as though he thinks he’s not good enough for callum (why else would he just take all that shit from whitney and not say anything in retaliation? why, if not because he deems it more important that callum has an easier time of it than he does; that he regards cal’s comfort more important than his own? and why would he do that, if he held himself in such high regards? i mean he certainly acts like it sometimes, so why not then?)

also like……. who is ben? is he the bastard who cares about no one but himself, who’s always causing trouble not only for himself but for the people he cares about? is he the guy who just completely folds when people he knows hurtle abuse at him, accepting it lying down, who thinks he’s no good for anyone? the guy who goes out all night and drinks himself silly and purposefully gets himself into fights? the guy who shows callum so much empathy even tho it brings him nothing but pain, who loves jay unconditionally, who tried so hard to help bobby when he came back from prison? which one is he? which one does he want to be? does he even know?

(and you could argue that people are just multi-dimensional, but there’s just such a vast gap between these different facets of ben’s character and he can flip through them so fast it’s jarring, which is why i think it’s more like he straight up doesn’t have a consistent sense of self. which is a big part of bpd)

4. Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

again, does this need explaining?

doing illegal shit, excessively drinking, becoming unnecessarily violent, fucking up his relationships, just generally doing reckless things regardless of the consequences - this has always been a part of ben’s character.

(his constant hook ups could be another one, but the jury’s still out on that one. if anything it’s less the sex that worries me and more the flippant attitude he has when meeting up w ppl - they could be anyone and do all sorts, at the end of the day)

it became most obvious recently around the anniversary of paul’s death - drinking himself sick, gambling all his money away, deliberately starting fights. but even before that and since then it’s been there.

it’s basically just a way to self sabotage.

i feel like this one isn’t a consistent part of ben’s behaviour like the others are, but it is undeniably there, so.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behavior

although ben (to my knowledge) hasn’t displayed any suicidal behaviour, he has at times spoken in ways that could kind of sway that way. (i’m no good for anyone, i’m not worth it, why do you care etc)

also self harming!!! just because he doesn’t hurt himself in a direct way doesn’t mean he doesn’t deliberately put himself in situations where he’ll get hurt, and that is self harm!! letting stuart beat him at pride was self harm!! picking that fight w those homophobes at e20 was self harm!!! drinking to excess is a form of self harm!!! putting himself in harm’s way, even if he doesn’t get hurt, is self harm!!!! just bc he might not be self harming in the traditional sense doesn’t mean he’s not hurting himself!!! this one has been on my mind for so long!!!! oh my god!!!!! he absolutely has a pattern of self harming/self destructive behaviours, and just a general disregard for his own safety and well being!!!! the fact that it doesn’t worry more ppl in his life is so upsetting to me!!!!!!

6. Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)

aka the biggest part of bpd: pt 2

i feel like this definition doesn’t really do justice to this aspect of bpd. this is basically you literally having no control of your emotions. ‘day-to-day events’ have fuck all to do with it half the time. u could be sitting there minding ur business and all of a sudden you wanna smash up the entire room, for seemingly no reason. one time i was crying - like uncontrollably sobbing, a complete mess - and had been for maybe half an hour? and then all of a sudden, literally mid sob, it stopped. like it just stopped. i was done, i wasn’t sad anymore. i went from inconsolably crying to perfectly fine in a split second. can you even imagine that? it’s fucking crazy. that’s what having bpd is like. it’s like mood swings x1000 (that’s why i describe it like bipolar on a smaller scale - their mood swings last days/weeks/months, ours last minutes/hours, sometimes days but not often). you can be fine, then all of a sudden you’re not. or you can be not fine, and then all of a sudden you are. you can be ecstatic, then all of a sudden all the joy gets sucked out of ur body n u wanna die. then 5 mins later ur fine again. u can cycle thru every single human emotion in the space of a few hours with no warning whatsoever. u can go from feeling so many emotions u don’t know which one to focus on to feeling none at all. it’s exhausting. so yes ‘day-to-day events’ (this can be as minor as the way someone speaks to you, or not enjoying ur food as much as u thought u would, and it can make u terrifyingly sad or spark uncontrollable rage in u) can trigger it, but it’s like… at least that’s kind of justifiable. most of the time u just cannot regulate, control or predict ur emotions whatsoever. and often the emotions u do feel are not appropriate for the situation at hand lmao

on top of that, ppl w bpd have massive problems processing their emotions. while most ppl have the capacity to identify what they’re feeling and why, ppl w bpd often can’t. and bc they can’t identify it properly, they don’t know how to process it. that’s why emotions and feelings are so often black and white - we might develop the ability to recognise Big Emotions, like love and hate, happiness and sadness etc, but we can’t figure out the smaller, nuanced emotions. it becomes or, not and.

this is also why our emotions feel so big and all encompassing!! we can’t ignore our emotions!! they are our focus in a lot of ways. when ur sad, it feels like the world is ending, every single time. when ur happy, ur euphoric and nothing else matters, and so on. every emotion has the volume turned up to 100. that’s why our emotions sometimes come out in extreme or unhealthy ways - our emotions often feel so big we have such a hard time handling them. so we go to drastic lengths, whatever they may be, to cope.

(also bc most ppl w bpd are victims of abuse, we’re often hyperaware of other people’s moods, which can impact ours. someone can be annoyed for some innocuous, innocent reason, and yet bc we can sense it, we become scared or defensive and may lash out.)

and ben… little old ben, have u ever seen him have a rational reaction to anything in his life? how often have we seen him have an appropriate response to smth? my dad is shit, so i have to destroy him. failing that, i have to kill him. oh, my brother isn’t gonna let kill him? time to punch him in the face. my daughter ate all my cereal? it’s Overreaction Time. (this one in particular is Very Me like yes lexi is a child and he was unfair but my 7 year old cousin once drank all my j2os and i almost had a breakdown so i Get It) i’m feeling like shit? time to antagonise these homophobes until they beat me in the middle of the street. i sleep with this man once? time to get overly involved. he shows me a little bit of love and kindness? time to develop feelings for him despite him insisting he’s straight, the fact that he’s with a woman and i have been harassed and beaten by his homophobic family multiple times. but it isn’t going the way i wanted it to? time to impulsively hit him for not knowing what he wants, then immediately regret it.

and like. he went from crying his eyes out in his dad’s kitchen to threatening kat slater within the span of what, 10 minutes? he went from trying to kill his dad, to falling tf apart w jay, to trying to manipulate his dad - who had just woken up from a coma - for his own gain again, in the span of maybe an hour. if that doesn’t say rapid cycling, inconsistent emotions idk what does.

like idk enough about the old bens to say if this is a consistent characteristic of his or not (although based on the fact he killed a woman bc he was angry w his dad, i’d say it’s fairly safe to assume lmao) but ever since he came back his reactions and emotions have been pretty much never once been rational, stable or consistent.

(and like i wanna say i am saying all of this from the perspective of the bad days. so if you’re thinking ‘well, ben isn’t like that all the time’ ur right. neither am i. some days i’m fine, some days it’s not that bad, sometimes i can cope. but i still have bpd, even on those days. and imo, so does ben.)

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness

this is one i don’t really see in ben. we maybe see moments of emptiness, but certainly not enough to call it ‘chronic’.

also a lot of the moments we do see emptiness in ben, i feel like it’s forced emptiness, more for his own benefit or for the benefit of others rather than actual genuine emptiness. it’s not that he’s not feeling anything, it’s that what he is feeling he’s not showing. that’s very different from actually feeling empty.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

this! is! such! a! massive! part! of! having! bpd! and it’s a part that no one ever fucking talks about either!!!

and again, does this one need explaining?

ben is anger. he’s a ball of it, and he has been for a very, very long time. he’s angry at his dad, at the world, at himself. for all sorts of reasons, both complex and simple. if i sat here and tried to get into all of it this post would be twice as long as it already is. and i don’t think i really need to, anyway. it’s not as if any of us need to dig very deep to see it, is it?

‘frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights’ like i really don’t need to elaborate do i? bc what does ben do when he’s angry? his temper flairs up, he gets physical, lashes out, makes threats.

and he’s so often angry in response to emotional pain, which is the saddest (and for me, most relatable) part. just look at paul’s anniversary, how angry he was just in general, to everyone - even his mum, who is like the only exception to his anger since he’s been back - when he was just hurting and sad. how angry he got when he found out keanu had replaced him in phil’s will, when really he was just hurt. he gets angry and violent so people don’t see him as weak bc he’s hurting. he has been conditioned to get angry instead of getting sad. it’s not healthy at all.

there is so much more but i feel like it’s unnecessary for me to get into it. bc u know. ben’s not exactly subtle in his anger is he lmao

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

this is the only other one that i don’t see in ben at all, and it’s one that i don’t really experience myself either so i don’t even have any insight to offer lmao

so!! more or less 7/9!! that’s a passing grade for diagnosis!!! welcome to the club, mr mitchell!!!!

all of this, of course, has been purely from a medical, diagnostic standpoint (w some of my personal experiences sprinkled in lmao). there’s so much more to say from like a ‘living w bpd day to day’ standpoint but like, this post is already way too fuckin long so i’m just gonna hit on a few that i feel are important in regards to ben, and ones i have’t spoken abt yet

most ppl w bpd have a ‘fp’ or ‘favourite person’ (tho it can be multiple people), which sounds nice but it’s kind of a really complicated and difficult thing tbqh. here’s the best definition i could find: ‘When someone with BPD uses the term “favorite person” to describe someone else, they are typically insinuating that this is a person they cannot survive without. For BPD sufferers, the favorite person is the person who is a source of emotional support and dependence. This individual has the ability to truly impact the BPD sufferer’s day in either a positive or negative manner. The favorite person to someone with BPD holds a critical role in their lives by holding the power to ‘make or break’ the successful navigation of daily tasks and struggles.’ it’s a difficult thing to explain/understand (so please feel free to google ‘favourite person bpd’ to get a better understanding), and is not always as dramatic as it sounds, but it’s like… even if they aren’t a source of ‘emotion support’, ur mental wellbeing can hang on this person’s every move. (which is not healthy, i know, but it’s just a thing that happens w bpd!) and phil is absolutely ben’s fp. ben hates phil, and yet is still so desperate to be in his good graces, in his life no matter what that costs him… and ben’s self esteem, his actions, his moods are so dependant on phil. it just?? makes so much sense to me. i realize it may not make much sense to someone who doesn’t have any understanding of what a fp is, but like if u do, i’m sure u see what i see.

i think maybe jay was another fp of ben for a while in the past. i don’t think he is as much since ben has come back, but in the past?? maybe. like less in the ‘my happiness is dependant on u’ way and more in like a ‘i’m very very attached to u and need u in my life and would maybe go crazy if anything or anyone got in the way of that’ way.

and i think callum might be sneaking into territory now too tbqh. it would explain why callum’s actions and words have such an impact on ben’s moods despite not much really happening between them. and like i wanna say: someone becoming ur fp is not a choice. it just happens. it’s not like ben is going ‘oh im going to get overly attached to u just for a laugh’, no. this would be completely out of his control. and when it happens, it fucking SUCKS. so if that is what’s happening, it’s going to have a massive impact on ben - and it seems like it already is.

and like taking the whole fp thing out of it (bc i know it’s complicated and hard to grasp) bpd would explain why ben seems to be so attached to callum even tho very little has actually happened between them!!! like bpd will have u falling in love w someone who just shows you basic human kindness and decency, and i mean that very literally!!! bc like i said when you have bpd, you struggle to navigate and handle basic emotions, so all the nuances of romance and love? jesus christ. it goes back into black and white thinking - i either love this person or i hate this person, there is no in between. so callum, showing ben kindness? showing him support with what’s going on w louise and what happened w phil? not hating him and thinking he’s despicable and evil and all those things people say about him? and ben, having bpd? he probably wouldn’t be able to comprehend that maybe cal’s just being friendly, esp not after they slept together. so ofc he would latch tf on to that. i would latch tf on to that. his behaviour towards callum just seems very on brand for having bpd to me, genuinely.

and !! all those things whitney said the other night !! people complained about him not arguing back, but like… she’s almost saying what ben wants to hear, when it comes to callum. bc i touched on it before but like the thing is when, you have bpd ur thought process is like ‘i care about this person, they are good, i don’t deserve them, i am bad, i am going to ruin them, i’m probably manipulating them into spending time with me and caring about me, but i can’t let them go, i need them, i bet they don’t even like me, i don’t deserve them, i don’t want them to get hurt, i don’t want to hurt them, i am going to hurt them, in the end.’ (and eventually it spirals into ‘actually they’re probably going to hurt me first bc everyone always does so let me completely destroy this relationship so it’s unrecoverable and hurt them now so they can’t hurt me later’ but that’s another story) and whitney more or less confirms that for him!!! in essence, what she says to him is ‘you’re bad, he didn’t want anything to do with you but you manipulated him into it. you don’t deserve him, you’ve hurt him, you’ve hurt me, how could you do this?’ so like… ofc he’s not gonna argue w her. he’s already had a shit day, all of the fight is gone from him, and he agrees w her!! i’m sure he was thinking that he deserved what whit was throwing at him - not necessarily for what he’d done to her, but because he is Bad and callum is Good and he needs to stay away from him, otherwise he’ll ruin him. bc that’s just what bpd brain tells u, even when u’ve got no basis to believe it. (unless ur splitting or experiencing a big emotional high, but again, that’s a different story)

and that kind of makes sense as to why he’d go to the wedding. going back to the anger instead of sadness thing - he’s hurting, so he’s going to get angry and vengeful. he has been hurt, so now he is going to hurt in return. esp considering both callum and whitney have seen him in such a vulnerable state. it’s probably a pride thing, too.

also just to expand a little more on the ‘unstable sense of self’ thing - ppl w bpd (and also victims of abuse, but sometimes that particular venn diagram is a circle) tend to change the personality based on who they’re with. which is what most people do, yes, but i mean the Extreme version. it’s a trauma response thing - u’ll reflect parts of a person’s personality back at them, or even take bits from personalities of ppl u know they like in the hopes that they’ll like u more like that, as opposed to ur real personality (if u even know what that is). and sometimes those parts stick (esp when you idolize the person u stole them from/they’re your fp), and it’s like u all of a sudden realize ur entire personality is built of parts of other ppls personalities that you’ve stolen. so it makes sense to me that ben seems to have so many differing personalities/sides to his personality, bc he’s learned which parts to show to who, and in what situations - in response to his abuse as a kid, if nothing else.

(and before anyone can even go there: that is not an act of manipulation. it’s a trauma response. it’s something that happens without us consciously having any say in it, as a way of self-preservation. it’s like if i make myself likeable and appealing to u, you’re less likely to hurt me, physically or emotionally. and yes ben has a habit of manipulation, but this is not a part of it. none of ben’s manipulation is directly bc of his hypothetical bpd, it’s bc that’s just who he is. i don’t ever want to see the two equated, or see anyone say any shit like ‘ben must have bpd bc he’s manipulative’, ever.)

just for the hell of it, here are some spicy bpd memes, bc that’s how we communicate on the internet. (here are two in particular seem quite relevant to ben rn lmao + bonus one for phil!!)

so! there we are!!! i’m sure there’s some important stuff i overlooked and that this is not what u expected when u sent me this question, but there are so many misconceptions and stigmas out there surrounding bpd that i wouldn’t have felt right half assing it. and i hope, if nothing else, u learned something abt bpd that u didn’t know before :-)

if u read this far ur a trooper lmao but if anyone has any questions, be they abt ben having bpd or bpd in general please feel free to ask!! i’ll do my best to answer them to the best of my ability 💖💖

#ben mitchell #ballum #eastenders #petty as hell but it was really bugging me that this wasnt showing up in tags so i'm posting it again lmao #sorry if u already liked/replied to it :-( #bpd #anon #question

[zenosanalytic]

Great Beasts of Legend: Centaurs, Sirens and Chimaera: The Greeks and th...

I know I’ve posted this lecture by Dr. Jeremy McInerney before, but I was watching it again(third time; really love this one uwu) and at 41:55 he starts a discussion of a boundaries-based reading of Centaurs(good target for that given the melding/muddying of boundary btw animal and man Centaurs represent[1]), beginning with the Herakles, Deianira, Nessos Myth that I feel he doesn’t quite hit though he makes/brings up other great points and it made me want to write a short little thing about why this myth, specifically, is really open to such a reading:

Ok so the basic outline: Herakles and Deianira are traveling, they come to the river Evinos where Nessos[2], the Centaur, is selling his services as a living ferry(ppl sit on him and he carries them across). Herakles, of course, decides to swim across and pays Nessos to carry Deianira across. While doing so, Nessos attempts to rape her, Deianira calls for help, and Herakles whips out his bow and arrows dipped in Hydra’s blood, and shoots Nessos dead. As he dies but before Herakles reaches them, Nessos tells Deianira to take a vial of his blood(sometimes blood mixed with his semen). The story splits interestingly here, so remember this point for later. Years down the road, Herakles is off in some part of Greece partying in celebration of yet another city he’s plundered, and he sends a train of new slaves taken from said city-plundering back home, along with a messenger with an off-hand request to Deianira that she send his favorite cloak along cuz he plans to keep partying for quite a long while. This is another point of ambiguity in the story and its retellings so remember it, too. She steeps his cloak in water mixed with the vial of Nessos’s blood, sends it along and, while the poison doesnt kill Herakles cuz he’s part god and Hydra’s poisonous blood isn’t powerful enough to do that, it DOES cause him such enormous, unending pain that he builds his own funeral pyre and burns himself alive, apotheosizing into a god in the process.

So, regarding Boundaries:

Nessos, obvsl, is a physical manifestation of the close and ever-present boundary between humans and beasts; btw self-control and indulgence; btw “civilized” behavior and “uncivilized”, as discussed above, and particularly of the threat of rape Greek men present to Greek women.

This story involves a River, a physical boundary

Rivers are ALSO what separate the world of the living from the world of the dead to the Greeks, and this is a story ABOUT TWO DEATHS, both tied directly TO a River(one taking place in it, during the act of crossing it; the other a long-term effect of that event[but also Herakles’s hubris, though most versions, being written for men, don’t emphasize that totally obvs aspect of it]).

Not only that, it’s LITERALLY the story of Herakles’s apotheosis: of how he comes to finally transcend the boundary between God and Mortal which he has straddled his whole life.

Herakles is celebrating the sack of a city, ie, his violation&destruction of the Boundaries defining said city, when he dies. Greek cities are often protected by female divinities(Athena usually), so it’s yet another symbol of rape.

So Split 1: In most versions, the reason Nessos gives for why she should take his blood is that it is a powerful love potion that will ensure Herakles remains faithful to her if his eye ever strays. BUT, also in most versions, this is a lie and he’s secretly trying to poison Herakles, though how would he know Herakles’ arrows are poisoned with Hydra-blood? I remember reading a version where he presents it to her AS POISON, explaining about the Hydra, but I cant find any mention of it online, so maybe my brain’s just making it up(or maybe this was the Hercules TV Show version X|).

Split 2: BUT BUT, while in most version Deianira sends the cloak out of desperation to keep him faithful(and of course there’s a particular slave girl in the train she’s warned about just so all of this can be EXTRA the fault of women, rather than Herakles for being a giant asshole like he always is), in other versions she sends it OUT OF VENGEANCE, TO FUCK HIM UP because Herakles is being a giant asshole, wrecking up Greece, partying as much as he likes, flaunting his rapes and his victims in her face(this is VERY RELEVANT given the nature of other versions of this story), and leaving her to run his household alone while ordering her around like she’s a slave rather than his Wife.

These are mutually exclusive: she cannot be both seeking to punish him, and trying, in anguished desperation, to keep him faithful to her[3].

Herakles in this story, as is ALWAYS THE CASE IN ALL HIS STORIES, is flaunting the boundaries of Proper Behavior, in this case those defining a happy and successful marriage(IE Hera’s Domain; which you’d THINK would be kind of relevant, given the deep narrative connection between Hera and Herakles and her quickness to anger regarding marriage violations, yet it somehow perennially goes unmentioned), and getting punished for it.

Now here’s an ADDED kicker. There’s a version of this story were Herakles initiates the conflict. one day he visits the house of Deianira’s father, Dexamenus, and while a guest, rapes her. Dexamenus can’t fight Herakles, of course, but he demands by the gods and tradition that Herakles marry Deianira to “repair” the injury(WE LIVE IN HELL!), and Herakles agrees. After he leaves to prepare for the wedding, a local Centaur, Eurytion(name meaning “Widely Honored”) visits Dexamenus and proposes to marry Deianira himeself(you know: without the whole BEING HER RAPIST thing), and Dexamenus complies. Herakles arrives a few days later, kills Eurytion, and sees that their marriage is carried out. Presumably in this version, the blood poisoning the cloak would be Eurytion’s.

What I’ve tried to get across here is that, among other things, there are readings of this myth were Herakles is the bad guy and Deianira the agent of divine punishment, if not the actual Protagonist. And those readings suggest certain ideas we would be prone to consider “modern” about the agency of women, consent, personal and social boundaries, morality, Greek ~Heroic Masculinity~, and yes even Centaurs, might not have been so alien and “anachronistic” to the ancient Greek mind as we tend to think.

But anyway, even if you think that particular part of my little argument here is total Bunk, I hope I’ve managed to get across that Deianira and the Cloak is a myth Absolutely LOUSY with the theme of Boundaries, what they mean, what it means to Cross them, and the Consequences for which you Cross, when, how, and plain just choosing to cross them in the first place. It’s a really great example for him to suggest for this particular topic, and it really inspired me quite a lot today, and I just wish there was a lecture online where he developed it further uwu

[1]And not only that, but of course owning horses was a common sign of aristocratic status, and trading horses a common aristocratic activity(this is one way you know Hesiod’s claims of poverty are a put-on; his family breeds and sells horses). I feel like it’s pretty well understood that Centaurs are in someway a commentary and meditation upon the nature of Greek masculinity, on the capacity for violent cruelty and wanton appetite Greeks inculcated men into beside all the talk of civilized society, but I also feel it’s less well understood how open they also are to a similar reading regarding the appetites and barbaric capacities specifically of the upper classes of Greek society.

[2]In some versions Nessos and Herakles actually have a history, and the whole incident is Nessos’s attempt at vengeance. There is another story, where Herakles visits a centaur who is his friend named Pholos, and a gang of nearby Centaurs(I like to think they were Rowdy Teens myself u_u) smell the wine they’re drinking and crash the party to share some. Herakles, being Herakles, of course immediately begins killing them for the perceived insult, which inevitably leads NOT ONLY to Pholos dying(cuz Herakles isn’t careful and shoots him too, or in other vers bcuz he refuses to so much as retrieve his arrows from the bodies due to concerns with “pollution” from the corpses, and Pholos cuts himself on one of the arrows), but ALSO the poisoning, and eventual death, of Chiron, who was one of Pholos’s neighbors and who Herakles accidentally knicked while wildly chasing down and shooting the interlopers. Nessos is one of these Centaur teens, and the only centaur in the whole situation to survive (:T

[3]Which, btw, the whole “faithful” thing doesnt make much sense(even though it pops up regularly in Greek Myth), because her “competitor” in these versions is a slave. These next sentences are going to be gross and awful, but in the society which told these stories male slave-owners already had unrestricted sexual access to their slaves and, beyond that, I’ve never read a single example in Greek or Roman sources of a slave being legitimized and married as a wife(which doesnt mean such examples dont exist; I’m an amateur). So the idea that a slave could threaten Deianira’s position as Herakles’s wife seems very dubious to me(as does the general trope of slave women as threats to wives in Greek stories). Again: this is all super-awful, but it’s something complicating the traditional presentation of the myth, which is rarely addressed because most academics writing for a general audience are super-loath to deal with classical slavery as the awful, body and soul crushing institution which it was.

#Penn Museum #Dr. Jeremy McInerney #cw: rape #cw: slavery #Classical Greece #Centaurs #Boundaries #Myth Analysis #Mythic Themes #Agency #Female Protagonists #analytic posts #Critical Analysis #zA Opinions #Video #Youtube

[bnha-imagines-hcs]

uwu i want angst and sorry if this is too triggering but is it okay to do dabi, present mic and shinsou where they get in a super heated fight w their s/o and the boys do a quick movement to run their hands through their hair or like hand gesture and its so fast their s/o thinks they’re going to hit them and they heavily flinch and then the guys find out shes had like an abusive past i love ur writing so much crie

( no, this is okay ❤❤❤ i won’t write a prompt of charas beating their s/o, but this is good. | warning for grade A asshole in dabi’s. | wherein present mic is the only one who knows how to do this lmfao. | shinsou’s a good boy who Tries. )

| dabi; headcanons.

a heated fight with dabi is like tryina cheat death. he’s a stone-cold professional with his mind on the job, but when anger gets involved there’s no more rules. yeah, that’s been a red flag from the get go, but here you both are…

dabi’s cruel when he’s angry. serious about his bonds, but cruel, and it’s never worse than when ppl take to clawing at him in word or deed; fighting with him gets nasty – if it hurts him, you’re fucked.(you piece of shit, like you’ve any more right than whatever rando you’re degrading yourself to be, fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU—)                                   nothing but absolute offensive defence. it’s all predatory while anyone he cares for (or who knows how to get to him) is taking shots at him; fixated on the kill to avoid his own pain. there is no pain, no gentility as a viable option for dealing with this (he doesn’t even know that’s a thing that really works, that he could do), no bond to preserve - nothing but rage to hide within and blind his enemies with.

          since it’s his primary mode for survival, it’s not smth he can consciously acknowledge (yet). he can’t - he needs it too much, too often.

it’s not the kind of mood where he likes his s/o, it’s not the kind of mood where he wants to be nice.

              you’re scared of him? (fire, fists, words, teeth- there’s              so much he can do–) good. you should be. 

       absolutely undoubtedly, dabi makes it so much fucking worse. had they not been fighting, it would’ve been so different – but there’s no mercy in a fight. an angry dabi is rarely safe.he doesn’t hit them, but he makes a play at it more than once until they’re a crying, triggered mess and that’s when he takes his vindication somewhere private / he’s won.            he’ll worry about whether you’re still dating after he’s figured out            whether he still wants that.

oh, the insinuations? bitch, no-one here is unhurt. and if you know dabi, you shouldn’t be stupid enough not to feel the threat. if that would scare you, fuck off you brainless–

     he hasn’t yet figured out whether you’re still worth giving a shit. shit.

| hizashi; headcanons.

the one motherfucker who handles this well from the get go, and that’s in part because with hizashi you just don’t get into… nasty fights. the rest is that hizashi is Absolutely not inclined toward scaring his loved ones and has no need for defensive rage to that extent. 

he’s got standards for himself, y’know? they’re more important than petty shock/hurt - his survival methods are so much more healthy than dabi’s, and that’s thanks to personality and opportunity.

if you’re really fighting, it’ll still be close to reason - hizashi’s emotionally healthy & would be with someone who is, for the most part, also that. as in, if you can’t talk about ur big issues like adults ( + some emotion ofc but honestly expressed, not cruelly ), he’s nooooooot gonna be in a relationship with you.      you- that’s. like. communication, bro. you need it.

first off he’ll a) absolutely notice and jump to the right conclusions thanks to experience b) wave it away bc he’s preoccupied and inclined to go ‘well it could be smth ELSE’ if he’s not completely ready to deal with it.the look on your face makes him ready to deal with it in about 3 seconds, and then he gently puts the fight on hold to ask whether he scared you, assure verbally that he wouldn’t, and give you space while asking what u need to feel safe enough to continue being arnd each other - or to not do that if u can’t feel safe.

hizashi is so good at making himself gentle - bc he is. he doesn’t need the walls & fronts to feel safe himself; vulnerability is his strength. he uses it well.

          there’s blankets involved and his express refusal to come near unless you ask him to, letting you control his proximity to you and what happens next. if you want, there are so many cuddles. if you want, there is reading apart from each other in blanket nests without focussing on anything so you can try to wind down. tea, maybe some anti-anxiety bg music, a super gentle kid’s show on tv. if you want to leave, you leave. if you want him to leave, he leaves. if you want to work through this but need a friend as a buffer, y’all call them over. hizashi will text aizawa for his own emotional support, cuz finding this out is rather upsetting for him too - fuck, he loves you, of course it is.       anything to be receptive, welcoming, and kind to your pain.

       the real anger comes when he finds out just who hurt you, and it’ll       be reserved for those names.

| shinsou; headcanons.

shinsou gets mad. 

it’s instant, thoughtless hurt while they’re already hurting each other and it just makes him defensive / he doesn’t stop to consider a better route. (can’t.) more angry, yells smth pained about them not trusting him (thinks it’s a jab since they know his buttons) – things aren’t registering as they would if he had his wits about him.it’s just hurt. yells, moves toward them too quick & makes it worse (not intentional) but is already backing off again. things sink in now & he’s a mess, so instead of doing anything that he can’t properly think through rn he just leaves. takes himself out of the situation.

he’s not stupid. between his own experiences, hero work, etc – once the fight’s a lil further in the past and his head cooled, he can look at it and see they weren’t trying to hurt him. it wasn’t fake– and that’s so much worse.        do they trust him anymore? no idea, so he waits it out / gives them both more time to settle. he’s not ready to be soft yet, but the idea of going in when he’s still on edge just breaks his heart.shit, he didn’t know this.

maybe he’s reading too much into it. yeah, maybe. he’ll ask. hopes that won’t be too invasive, draws on all his lessons to figure out a game plan; be calm, non-threatening, respectful. (he’s gonna phone aizawa, ask for advice.)he especially needs time to prepare for the possibility they won’t want to share with him. will respect it of course, but he’s so fucking worried it’d drive him a lil mental so he needs to prep to not push whatsoever - and it’s easier to focus on his worry than their fight that’s been abandoned like an open wound. 

           ‘easier’. ugh.

he goes back in when his head’s clear / phoned first to ask. he cuts right to the chase, tells them to set the boundaries if they want to meet up - make it so they can feel safe. it’s not that bad anymore, they say – although it really hurt when shinsou just left, made them fear he didn’t want smth so broken. 

                  that hadn’t fucking occurred to him at all.

and that’s such a relief they fucking both cry, ugly sobs into the phone and tentative ‘why were we fighting anyway’ - an equally careful ‘maybe we can write things out that bother us and just focus on finding a way through’. 

they meet. their s/o is a lil spooked in that trauma way you just can’t help & shinsou’s hyper caution makes it worse until they each find a balance. somewhere innocuous with ice cream and a view on a park, and they just. adjust to this new part of their dynamic, get used to each other again since they didn’t get to properly end the fight or deal with things.        there’s some unrelated talk to ease into things before they open up - just the tip of the iceberg, to test out shinsou’s capacity for it. 

he’s got a hard time looking gentle when he’s torn between hurting for them so much (and that’s… more intense than expected) and angry at himself, the situation, the things that hurt his s/o and the things he doesn’t need to punish himself for but does.

              after a while they call in the help of experienced adults (read: present mic) to deal with this; still more private than a counsellor, but still… they need the help.

they make it through. soft becomes a new/reinforced staple of their relationship and they learn way better ways to communicate thru issues, avoid actual fights.

learning to channel his anger differently also eases shinsou’s overall life / being soff w/ the bae becomes a new (and first) favourite part of his own personality (whoo boy). if he happens upon the bastards who hurt his s/o and curbstomps them somewhere in a back alley, well. that’s more aizawa’s influence.

#dabi #dabi bnha #dabi mha #mha dabi #bnha dabi #present mic #yamada hizashi #bnha hizashi #mha shinsou #shinsou hitoshi #bnha shinsou #bnh shinsou #mha hizashi #bnha imagines #bnh imagines #mha imagines #hizashi yamada #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #bnh headcanons #mha scenarios #bnha scenarios #bnh scenarios

[ase-trollplays]

-- capriciousThespian [CT] began trolling pharosDweller [PD] --

-- capriciousThespian [CT] began trolling pharosDweller [PD] --

[05:33] CT: You!~

[05:34] PD: begin\\ Me. //end

[05:34] CT: You're The One Tragedy H!red To Be My Keeper, Yes???~

[05:35] PD: begin\\ That's a blunt way of putting it, but essentially. //end

[05:36] CT: Well Let Me Just Say You're Terr!ble At !t!~

[05:37] CT: !'ve Been Go!ng Utterly !nsane For The Last Three Per!gees, And ! Never Heard From You Once!~ Do ! Have To Do Everyth!ng Myself?!~

[05:43] PD: begin\\ Oh shit, was that not you? Was I following around the wrong prissy little indigo for three perigee? //end

[05:43] CT: Pr!ssy?!~

[05:43] CT: How Dare You!~

[05:44] CT: And !'m Not L!ttle!!~

[05:49] PD: begin\\ Alright, you're right, that wasn't fair. My apologies. //end

[05:49] PD: begin\\ Vertically challeneged. //end

[05:49] CT: UGH!!!~

[05:49] CT: ! Can't Bel!eve Tragedy Thought A Moron L!ke You Would Be Any Help To Me!~

[05:50] PD: begin\\ I think the general idea was for me to antagonize you into letting out your aggressive tendancies on me, instead of some undeserving innocent bystander. //end

[05:52] CT: So You Volunteered To Be K!lled, Then?~ You Really Are A Moron~

[05:55] CT: And For The Record, !nnocent People May D!e At My Hand Regardless~

[05:55] CT: ! Prom!sed By Beloved ! wouldn't K!ll Senselessly Any Longer, But !'m Go!ng Crazy~

[05:56] CT: ! Can Tell !'m Los!ng Her Love, And !t's Mak!ng Me Crazy~

[05:57] CT: And !f ! Lose Her, Then What Am ! Supper!ng For??~ What W!ll Have Been The Po!nt!!?~

[05:57] CT: ((*Suffering))

[05:57] CT: !f She's Go!ng To Throw Me Away Anyways, Then What's The Po!nt Of Honor!ng Our Prom!se?~

[05:58] CT: ! Came To You Because !'m G!v!ng You Exactly One Chance To Change My M!nd, Otherw!se Trolls _W!ll_ D!e~

[05:59] CT: So Do Your Job!~ Mo!ra!l me!~ G!ve Me One Reason Not To K!ll Everyone ! Come Across As Soon As ! Log Off!!~

[06:07] PD: begin\\ Okay, in order. I promise you couldn't kill me, even if I let you try. Second, if you consider honoring a promise to a loved one "suffering", you may need to reconsider your priorities. Third, have you considered that if you go on a mindless killing spree, eventually someone that you try to kill is going to kill you instead? //end

[06:09] CT: !f ! D!e, Then So Be !t!~ !'d Rather Be Dead Than W!thout My Altr!!'s Love!~

[06:10] CT: ! Made Her The Center Of My World~

[06:10] CT: Revolved My Ent!re Un!verse Around Her, And What Does She Do?~

[06:10] CT: She Threatens To Abandon Me Just L!ke

[06:10] CT: ! Won't Even Say Her Name~

[06:11] CT: ! made Her My Everyth!ng, And She Doesn't Apprec!ate !t At All!~

[06:11] PD: begin\\ Why did she threaten to abandon you? //end

[06:12] CT: She Refuses To Trust Me~ Sure, ! Haven't Been The Perfect Mate, But ! Made Her My Empress And Answered To Her Every Beck And Call~

[06:12] CT: She Wanted Me To Change, So ! D!d, And She Won't Bel!eve Me!~

[06:13] CT: ! D!d Everyth!ng For That Ungrateful Harpy, And She Won't See Reason!~

[06:13] PD: begin\\ What did you change for her? //end

[06:15] CT: ! Stopped Spree K!ll!ng, ! Stopped Avo!d!ng Her When ! Made M!stakes, And ! Even Tr!ed To Get Along W!th Tragedy~

[06:15] CT: But She !ns!sts My Love For Her !n "Unhealthy" and "Dangerous" As Though Center!ng My Ent!re Be!ng Around Her !sn't The most Grand Of Romant!c GEstures~

[06:15] CT: ((*Is))

[06:18] PD: begin\\ It sounds like the issue might be that the two of you have different ideas of what constitutes a healthy matespritship. //end

[06:19] CT: She Used To Love My Adorat!on Of Her, But Now She Says !'m Suffocat!ng Her!

[06:19] CT: She Knew ! Had !ssues When She Agreed To Be My Mate!~ She Knew What She Was S!gn!ng Up For!~

[06:20] CT: And The Fact That She's Try!ng To Treat My Love For Her L!ke Garbage To Be Taken Out !s !nfur!at!ng!~

[06:22] PD: begin\\ Alright. Your feelings of betrayal and anger are normal and understandable. I assume you've tried communicating these feelings to her? //end

[06:26] CT: Of Course ! Have!~

[06:26] CT: Not Recently, Of Course, But ! D!d At Some Po!nt!~

[06:27] PD: begin\\ And what did she say? //end

[06:32] CT: Does !t Matter What She Sa!d??~ She's Clearly !n V!olat!on Of My Trust And Fa!th !n Her!~ !f ! Don't Have Her, ! Have Noth!ng At All!~

[06:33] PD: begin\\ Aww, but you have me. That has to count for something, right? //end

[06:34] CT: Do ! Really??~ Because You Never Once Tr!ed To Contact Me!~ ! Had To Be The One To Tell You !'m Th!s Close To The Edge Of My San!ty!~

[06:36] PD: begin\\ We all make mistakes. Regardless, if you tell me what she said, I might be able to help you figure out a better ne><t step than self-destruction. //end

[06:37] CT: She Sa!d She Would G!ve Me Another Chance, But She Clearly L!ed Because !'m Los!ng Her!~

[06:38] CT: Hell,Maybe !'ll Just End Her L!fe And Be Done W!th Her~

[06:38] CT: !f ! Let Her Leave, She'll F!nd Someone Else, And The THought Of Someone Else Lov!ng Her L!ke ! Used To !s

[06:38] CT: UNBEARABLE~

[06:38] CT: !'d Rather She Stop Breath!ng Than Let Soeone Else Have Her~

[06:39] CT: ((*Someone))

[06:40] PD: begin\\ Okay, what makes you say she's "clearly" lying? //end

[06:41] CT: Because She Doesn't Trust Me!~ ! D!d Everyth!ng She Asked And She St!ll Won't Trust Me~

[06:41] CT: And She Th!nks ! Haven't Not!ced Her Gett!ng Chumm!er W!th Tragedy~

[06:42] CT: !'d Sl!t That Bastard's Throat !f ! Could For Try!ng To Steal Her Away From Me!!~

[06:44] PD: begin\\ Okay, that sounds like you might be jumping to conclusions. There's more than one reason that someone might get close to someone else. //end

[06:46] CT: They're Only Supposed To Be K!smeses, But ! Just Know There's Someth!ng More There!~

[06:46] CT: There Has To Be!~ Why Else WOuld She Trust H!m More Than Me??~

[06:48] PD: begin\\ Could there be pale feelings involved? Trust isn't limited solely to matesprits. //end

[06:51] CT: Ugh, There Shouldn't Be Any Feel!ngs At All!~ ! Never Even L!ked Them Be!ng Black!~ He Doesn't Deserve Her !n Any Quadrant!~

[06:56] PD: begin\\ While I can understand you feeling that way, I have to point out that you can't control the way one of your quadrants approachs having other quadrants that you aren't a part of. //end

[06:58] CT: But Why Does She Have To Have Feel!ngs For H!M Of All People?!~ Why Can't ! Be Enough For Her??~

[07:01] PD: begin\\ What makes the feelings being for him different than them being for some other person? //end

[07:02] CT: BECAUSE ! DESP!SE H!M!!!~

[07:04] PD: begin\\ Why? //end

[07:05] CT: He's The Reason !'m So Unstable!~ Do You Have Any !dea How D!sor!ent!ng, How Ex!stent!ally Cr!ppl!ng !t !s To Be Forced To Share A Body W!th Another Be!ng??~

[07:06] CT: Not To Ment!on He's St!ff, Rude, And A Total Asshole!~

[07:06] CT: He Doesn't Deserve To Have Any K!nd Of Relat!on W!th My Darl!ng!~

[07:09] PD: begin\\ I can't say I have any idea what your situation feels like, no. But your personal feelings for Tragedy don't change the fact that you can't control how your matesprit chooses to spend her energy in regards to her other quadrants. //end

[07:11] CT: Ugh, That's Bullsh!t And ! Hate !t~

[07:11] CT: ! Want Her To Be Happy, But W!th Me, Not That Jackass~

[07:14] PD: begin\\ You can hate it all you like, but you still have to adhere to it. //end

[07:17] CT: Hmph~ Whatever~

[07:21] CT: Well, ! Suppose ! Should Applaud You~ Be!ng Able To Tell My Woes To SOmeone Has Calmed My Nerves~

[07:21] PD: begin\\ That's good. If I might offer a further recommendation? //end

[07:22] CT: And What Would That Be?~

[07:23] PD: begin\\ You said you haven't talked to your matesprit about your feelings of betrayal and anger recently. Maybe try that again, especially since you've calmed a little. //end

[07:26] CT: Yes, ! Suppose ! Have To~ ! Came So Close To Break!ng My Prom!se To Her~ Surely Now That !'m Calm, She'll See Reason~

[07:27] PD: begin\\ Let me know how it goes. //end

[07:28] CT: !'ll Be Sure To Keep You !n The Loop~ !'m Loathe To Adm!t !t, But Perhaps Tragedy D!dn't Make A Complete Fool Of H!mself By Enl!st!ng Your Help~

[07:29] CT: Not That You Put Forth Any Actual Effort Unt!l Now~

[07:29] PD: begin\\ Yeah, I dropped the ball on that one. Personal reasons, don't really matter, and don't e><cuse it. //end

[07:30] CT: !'m Glad You Real!ze That You're At Fault~ !t Saves Me The Trouble Of Say!ng So Myself~

[07:30] PD: begin\\ And yet you did anyways. //end

[07:33] CT: Now Then, S!nce !'m No Longer !n The Mood For A Spree K!ll!ng, !'m Done Talk!ng To You~

[07:34] PD: begin\\ Alright. ]-[ave a good rest of your night. //end

[07:35] CT: ! W!ll~

-- capriciousThespian [CT] gave up trolling pharosDweller [PD] --

#pesterlogs #capriciousThespian #glitched axiomatic #sonja's such a dickcheese #but at least no one will die tonight

[why-is-this-a-thing-now]

A Troll, A Human Wriggler, and a Fuck Ton of Monsters Ch1 Pt3

Boy is the Underground not a fun place for someone who doesn’t like puzzles. Now featuring more ppl than just kk, and a fight, here’s part 3! It’s a bit longer than the first two parts.

==>Proceed

Much to your chagrin, you are immediately confronted with not one, but two illegible signs as soon as you step through the door. One is actually a small wooden sign that has been handwritten and . . .  welded to the stone floor, you think? Eh, that just means that you were right to be on your guard – someone obviously inhabits this place, and it’s just a matter of time before you run into them. There are also three switches, and a row of spikes blocking the pathway at the far end of the room. You need to sit down for a couple of ticks before your all-consuming rage makes you do something stupid, like yell loud enough to alert your possible enemies of your presence. While you’re down here, you may as well check out the streams running through the room; they look like they’re made of water, but you’d much rather be certain before you step on any possibly collapsing bridges. You pull out an empty bottle of apple juice that you’re absolutely sure came from Strider, fill it with the liquid, and capchalog it. It self-labels as “bottle of water”, so it looks like you’re in the clear on that front. With that out of the way and no other ways to procrastinate in arms distance, you heft yourself to your feet and decide that it’s time to deal with the puzzle.

==>Solve

First, you walk immediately to the spikes impeding your path, grateful when you confirm that the bridges do not, in fact, collapse under your feet and send you into the waters below. You still don’t know how to swim, despite Jade and Dave’s instance that you let them teach you. Even though the spikes themselves aren’t quite high enough to fully stop you from maneuvering yourself over them, they appear to be surrounded by some kind of psi-field, more similar to something Aradia could do rather than what Sollux’s powers. With the easy method unavailable, you resign yourself to flipping yet more fucking switches, seeing as there doesn’t seem to be anything else for you to “solve” in the room besides them.

It takes you an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out how to reset the switches, and you feel like the world’s most incompetent wiggler when you realize that you just need to exit the room the way you came and re-enter. On your second try, the spikes retract into the ground as soon as you press the second switch down, and you’re free to continue on your journey to get the fuck out of here.  

==>

The next room, to your immense relief, doesn’t appear to have any puzzles in it. Instead, there is something that appears to be a weirdly shaped mannequin of some sort, and a large white frog. When you entered, the frog and the dummy both turned towards you.

==>Converse

*Ribbit

You feel like smashing your face against the wall. Of course the first thing alive that you find can’t properly converse with you.  What the hell, you figure, you may as well dive bulge first into this stupid charade.

KARKAT: HI

The frog looking thing doesn’t react any further than letting loose another croak, but it seems jovial enough towards you, you guess. It hasn’t attacked you, anyways, and the weird face looking thing . . . in it? under it?? doesn’t look threatening. The mannequin just stands there.

KARKAT: I DON’T SUPPOSE EITHER OF YOU TWO KNOWS HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE, DO YOU?

Both of them continue to stare. This is getting you absolutely nowhere. You sigh and unequip your sickles; you really don’t think that these guys are going to strife with you, and you were starting to feel like a tool waving them around in casual conversation, ignoring the fact that your conversing partners were a weird frog and a dummy, neither of which actually speaks. The frog hops over to you, croaks a couple of times, and then tilts its head towards the open door leading further into the cave.

Huh.

KARKAT: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO SLOG THROUGH AN UNKNOWN NUMBER OF ROOMS IN THIS WEIRD UNDERGROUND JUST TO FIND AN EXIT?

*Ribbit

KARKAT: AND THERE’S ABSOLUTLY NO OTHER WAY TO GET OUT

*Ribbit

KARKAT: WELL FUCK.

You guess that was helpful. At the very least, it was about as helpful as a discussion with Dave when he feels like being an absolute douche. You still know fuck-all about how to get out of here.

The frog hops away through the door, and you pause to watch it go. You have no idea how it’s connected to the little rock-like thing under it, and your observations don’t help you one bit in figuring it out. Turning, you stare at the mannequin. It stares back. You guess you could say something to it before you leave, just to avoid being a complete asshole?

==>Initiate FIGHT

What. The. Fuck.

You have no idea what’s happening right now. You guess it could be a really weird form of strifing? But the mannequin hasn’t moved at all?

Looking at the four options you’ve apparently been afforded, none of which start with the same letter, weirdly, you try and figure out which you want to use. You could always fight, you guess, but if this mannequin can talk to the other things that live down here, you have a feeling that your journey would get unnecessarily complicated. You like to think that you’re at least a little smarter than Eridan when it comes to not killing things you’re not supposed to. You’re not sure what acting would do, but it may be helpful. Since you don’t really want to deal with your sylladex right now, especially not if this weird strifing format fucked with it, you leave the items option alone, and fuck if you’ve ever given up a fight before. There’s no way in hell you’re picking mercy.

You switch over to act, checking out your options. Your options are to check this guy, or to talk to them. You really want to know what this guy’s deal is, starting a fight with you out of nowhere.

==>Check the dummy

You Check the mannequin.

*Mannequin. 0 ATK, 0 DEF. It’s a mannequin, you think?

That was completely useless. You immediately try to act again, but you can’t.

The mannequin just stands there for a bit before you’re able to do anything. Ugh, you’ve never liked turn-based fighting, it reminds you too much of those FLARP games some of your friends used to play before the shit hit the whirling bladed device.

==>End this and continue on

You figure that you may as well do what you came here to do, fight be damned. You select Talk.

KARKAT: IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, NOW LET ME GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Your fight immediately ends, which surprises you, and you abscond the fuck out of there.

#my fic #homestuck #undertale #crossover #karkat vantas #ATAHWAAFTOM #froggit #dummy #my boy gets into a practice fight w the dummy bc hes a dummy #at least its not a puzzle ammirite #steffie writes #1169 words #nice

[icharchivist]

Do you think that Killua's assessment of Gon changed when Gon came to get him from his family? I was thinking about how some ppl said that Killua was "cold" for not showing concern while Gon was being tortured, but they weren't as close then (or at least Killua didn't believe so). But something seemed to shift when he met up with Gon again and I was wondering what your thoughts were

Oooooh interesting questions there!! 

Huuh kinda hard to come with a definitve more broad answer before starting developping what i mean so i’ll try my best there.

Imo of course, Killua wanted to have a friend his age, which is why he got curious with Gon, and then everything about Gon surprised him. He got curious about Gon pretty quickly, but I think he started to seriously consider even more how he was interested in Gon after Gon reacted that simply to Killua talking about his family, before the prison exam.

The thing is that, I personally think Killua didn’t realize how much he wanted to be friend with Gon until Illumi came to him. 

I mentioned once i think that I thought it was a shame the anime changed one of Killua’s line in the Prison - in the anime, when he says “Only 3 people will come out of this exam, Gon, i intend you and I to be 2 of them”, in the manga, he doesn’t mention Gon at all and only mention himself.

I think this scene can be a misunderstanding on an anime standpoint because it seems like Killua is a little more invested in his friendship with Gon than he was in the manga at this point at least. (also, the 50 hours in the Prison where they play together in the room isn’t in the manga so Killua isn’t completely smitten yet.)

Killua is interested in Gon right from the start, he was curious, but he wasn’t seriously thinking about it. It was like, happening, but Killua wasn’t paying attention, it was a bit mindless.

When Gon was being tortured, therefore, Killua wasn’t settled over how he felt toward Gon. 

Now also what’s important is that before that, Killua realized the Hunter Organization considered Gon to have more potential than him. And while keeping in mind Killua wasn’t settled on what he wanted from Gon yet, he felt hurt in his pride.

Killua had always been the Chosen Kid, the One his parents always considered had a Great Potential, and everything went smoothly in the exam. However, he saw Gon, who was far more carefree than him, get more positive returns than Killua did.

In the mindset of Killua who was raised believing he was the one with the best potential, the last exam was a hurting his ego. And he hadn’t sorted out what he was thinking about Gon yet at this point.

When Gon got tortured by Hanzo then, Killua only watches with distain. He’s rather cold and not involved, also in the manga.  But that’s because of that: Because at that moment, he doesn’t know how he feels toward Gon aside from interest, and all he’s thinking about now is that he’s being told he has less potential than Gon.

And Gon is barely handling this fight, Killua sees all he could have done instead, and eventually i think Killua being able to handle torture makes him have a step back from how awful the thing in front of him is. Considering how he often commented on his torture training in the early arcs with a lot of calm, i think that while he’s aware other people will react differently, he cannot entierely identify to the pain since it would take much more for him himself to react.

It’s when Illumi comes to him that there’s a real switch. Because suddenly Killua is facing one of the main cause of abuse he had his entiere life. He has illumi in front of him, telling him to come back home, to give up the hunter exam in which Killua found himself strangely emotionally involved in. Killua was trying to free himself from his family influence, and I think eventually being able to talk about his family a bit, especially to Gon, helped him realizing how much he didn’t want to come back.

That’s when it hits him in the face it wasn’t a game: that he wasn’t safe from his family, that his family could still hurt him.

And Illumi forced him to question himself. Illumi kept asking Killua why he’s still involved and I think that’s when Killua realized how much he wanted to be with Gon.

I think Killua went with the flow the entiere Hunter Exam without exactly thinking about his feelings toward the exams nor toward Gon. He just went with it. So during Gon’s fight, he went with what his pride was telling him because he had no other self reflection on it.

It’s Illumi, being a threat, who kept asking questions about what he wanted, that forced Killua to think about it. The realization that he wanted to be friend with Gon hit him at that moment I think. 

It’s when he was threatened to come back to his previous life that he realized how much he enjoyed being with Gon. That he was involved in that Hunter exams because he met Gon the first day, because he had fun with him, that it’s the first time he had fun.

When threatened with his usual abuse, his pride that made him cold at first died down at that moment at least. After all, that pride is rooted in the abuse he endured. And I think it’s only when he had to face it again that he realized it, that he realized that in a way he was still having a part of him that would instinctively trying to be the best of the best like his family taught him, and it took him reflexion to realize how much he cared for Gon.

So to me, Illumi was the catalyst. Before that, Killua wasn’t sure what he was feeling, he wasn’t thinking about it, he was just going with the flow, until he had to comfront it.

At that moment, his reaction to Gon’s fight make total sense to me. He had no settled answers before Illumi happened.

But Illumi threatened Gon, and kept doing mindgames against Killua. He reinforced the idea that Killua was a killer. Hell, if i’m right, the fact Killua automatically ended up thinking “but i’m the best one, i was told so” and be hurt in his pride, might have hit Killua in the face as Illumi was telling him he was a killer born. Because even if he wanted to escape it, he still had the mechanism to react the way he did to being considered less interesting than Gon. Which reinforced the idea that he was everything his family wanted him to be, and not someone worthy of staying by Gon’s side, ie the self saboting. 

(also about that: this is something that is often seen with abuse victims, of mechanically thinking and doing the things you were taught, and that’s what I think Killua did accidentally. However, I don’t think this was actually what he wanted. A lot of time, it’s really just a mechanism, usually a survival mechanism to fit the narrative the abuser put on you. He’s so used to think that way that he didn’t realize it was wrong until after it happened.)

So Killua left. It’s possible Illumi did mess with his mind a little, especially with the needle, but I think that’s what freaked him out. Illumi was reminding him Killua was a killer, like him and Silva raised him, and Killua could think about how he was reacting just earlier to what happened to Gon, the one he wants to befriend, with the mechanism Silva and Illumi taught him. 

So the emotional manipulation paid off, and the need to protect Gon did too. It’s likely he was completely dissociating when he killed Leorio’s adversary (and still to argue if he didn’t do that because he wanted to protect Leorio without realizing - after all Leorio just earlier was defending his rights to be friend with Gon and was actually being supportive, facing Illumi without blinking.). He wasn’t thinking straight, and he went back home.

If he realized he wanted to be friend with Gon, and that in a way they were already friend like Leorio told him, he didn’t feel worthy of being his friend, being an assassin who will hurt him. He was completely drowned by Illumi’s manipulation, and he let his family d whatever they wanted with him, thinking he fucked upw ith them, and that there was no way out. That he tried a way out and Illumi caught back on him.

Gon though, didn’t like it. Gon came to him and forced a way out. Gon brusted through his door to tell him he wanted to be by his sides, that he wanted him to get better.

when Killua hears the news of Gon being there, he lights up. He starts to think more coerently. Because Gon is ready to be his friend, and Gon doesn’t have any hard feelings against him. Gon wants to be with him just as much as he wants to be with him, and it’s something Gon proved, he proved Leorio’s words. 

And that’s the moment he wants to try.

It’s not just a wishfull thinking, he can get out. And he has a friend. Maybe he’ll end up hurting him, but he wants to try because Gon wants him to try. Gon wants to get to him. And Killua wants to let him in.

So that’s basically my thoughts on this part of the story. I think Killua went through a very complex train of thoughts that he had a hard time acknowledging and understanding. But as soon as he sees Gon again, he’s settled on what he wants. He wants to be with Gon. From that point it’s not just about “not being like the family” it’s about being something. 

It took time for Killua to get to this and to fight his own mechanical reactions due to his abuse.

But I think at the moment he decided to leave with Gon and was officially safe to do it, things went better for him. And he was accepting that he wanted to befriend Gon and set his pride aside. 

So ye!! 

I don’t have any good intro/conclusion to that reply ahah, but I hope you get what i mean, i feel like i repeated myself a lot.

take care! :D

#ichafantalks hxh #ichameta hxh #ichashipping killugon #\o/ #anonymous #ichareply #hxh meta

[jasonscaramel]

Safe - Negan x Reader - Part 2

[find part one here]    [if you’re new, find A/B/O rules here]

A/N: thank you for all the love on the first chapter! it honestly means a shit ton to me. ppl liking my writing??? what a concept. anyway.. enjoy! as always, let me know what you think !! xx

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics (Alpha!Negan x Omega!female reader), lots of swearing, threatening/assault-like themes (idk what to fuckin call that), and my shitty writing

You awoke to a feeling of suffocation. For a brief moment, you worried that Negan had decided that he had gotten in over his head, but once you woke up fully you realized that it was only an overpowering scent. It was musky and strong, smelling of burnt coffee and shot gun shells and some candle you used to burn before the world went to hell; it was pleasant, something you’d like to burrow into and bask in for days. Right now, though, it was so overpowering you felt as if you were choking. You gasped, sitting upright. Negan was sat on the edge of the bed, smile on his face as he watched you gasp for air. You didn’t know what was worse, the fact that Negan had been watching you sleep, or that the smell was him. And you liked it.

“Mornin’, sunshine.” The wide smile didn’t leave his face, and you sighed, forcing a smile. He stood, swinging Lucille over his shoulder. He paused suddenly, a frown overtaking his features. “I didn’t even ask you your name, how fuckin’ rude of me.”

“Y/N,” you spoke no louder than a whisper, but judging by the grin on Negan’s face, he’d heard it.

“Well up and at ‘em, Y/N. We’re home.”

Home may have been a stretch, but there was no way you could complain about a safe place to live. Safe from the walking dead, that is. You had no idea if you could trust Negan, much less his people. You still didn’t understand why he was doing this for you (or was it for him?). What you did know, however, is that pseudo-compliance on your end was going to get you far with this man, and that is exactly what you planned on doing. You uncurled yourself from the covers and climbed out of the bed, looking to Negan. He gave you a once-over and a curt nod and led you out of the bedroom, and then out of the RV. The hot sun temporarily blinded you, but once your eyes adjusted to the light, you took in the sight of the huge factory in front of you. Your gaze immediately flitted to the walkers strung up on the wall, teeth chomping at nothing but air. You gulped loudly, feeling a hand on the small of your back. You looked up at Negan, his face hard and brows furrowed.

“Let’s keep moving.” He began walking and dragged you with him, and you watched as people began to take a knee as Negan drew closer. It was strange, and cult-like, and almost everything about this place was rubbing you the wrong way.

But you continued to move forward.

Negan proceeded to show you the ins and outs of the Sanctuary, from the basement headquarters of maintenance to his room on the top floor. You were actually impressed by how seamlessly the Sanctuary ran. Everyone had a job to do to make it functional, and by the looks of it, most people did what was expected of them. It was a stark contrast against Alexandria; Alexandria seemed like a tropical vacation compared to this place. The atmospheres were so incredibly different. You couldn’t shake the feeling of longing that erupted in your chest when you thought about how trusting and forgiving Rick and (most) of his people were. You didn’t think you’d find that here.

After showing you to the cafeteria and picking up a plate of food, Negan showed you to your room. It was a floor below his, one that was relatively empty, and you were silently thankful for the space between you two.

“Normally I wouldn’t leave you like this, but we’ve been gone for far too fucking long and I’ve got some shit to deal with. Just stay fuckin’ put in here ‘til I get back, alright?” You nodded as you watched him go, shutting the door behind himself. You shifted yourself on the bed, unwrapping the plate of fruit you were given. Fresh fruit, surprisingly, wasn’t too much of a common occurrence from what you’d experienced, so this was a treat.

Once you were finished, you decided to have a look around your room. It was spacious and already furnished; a bed sat at the center, a table on its side and a dresser facing it. The dresser drawers were full of various clothing items ranging in sizes, and you decided to organize the stuff you could and couldn’t wear, making respective drawers for each. It gave you something to do, something to make this place feel enough like home to help push you through what was coming next. If you were honest with yourself, you had no idea what was coming next. You hadn’t even had time to process what happened to you the night before, yet here you were organizing your new living space. Everything moved way too quickly these days, but you were still doing your best to keep up.

Thoughts of last night overwhelmed you, and before you knew it, you were out of your room and into the hall trying to make yourself feel less claustrophobic. You began frantically wracking your brain to try and remember where Negan told you the bathroom was, before a voice behind you startled you out of your reverie.

“You okay?” You froze, turning to see the culprit. A man—an Alpha, you quickly realized—stood in front of you, at least a foot taller than you, gazing down at you. When you didn’t respond, he sighed. “You seemed like you were freaking out. Anything I can do to help?” Usually you would run as far away from an Alpha as you could, but seeing how well behaved Negan’s goons were, you decided to take a chance.

“I, uh—where’s the bathroom?”

The man grinned, walking toward you. “I’ll take you there.” He began walking and you followed, struggling to keep up with his long strides. “I haven’t seen your face around before. And I would’ve remembered a pretty face like yours.” You blushed, more uncomfortable than anything, and he chuckled. “I’m David.”

“Y/N. I’m new.” Neither of you said anything as you scaled a couple flights of stairs. David led you past the cafeteria, and when you heard showers running, you knew you’d arrived. “Thanks.” You spoke quietly, hoping he’d take the hint and leave.

“I’ll wait here so I can make sure you get back to your room.” You furrowed your brows, becoming more suspicious of him with every word he said. But maybe he was being genuine, maybe he was one of the few good guys left. Whatever the case was, you had to pee, and you weren’t going to debate the good and evil spectrum with a full bladder.

It was awkward peeing in front of three strangers, and you were more than happy to leave the bathroom. Somehow you didn’t think you would ever get used to that. To your disappointment, David was still waiting at the door. He gave you a nod, and you followed him through the twists and turns of the Sanctuary. The place was practically a maze, and you were beginning to think about just how grateful you were for David’s help.

Once your door was in sight, David spoke, “so you’re unclaimed, huh?” You froze, eyes going wide, and he chuckled. “You really think I couldn’t tell?”

“No, I just—”

“It’s easier to have a mate, you know.” He muttered off-handedly, walking you directly to your door. “I could mate you. If you want.”

“I’m sorry—what?” Was he serious?

“Just saying. It’s safer, you wouldn’t run the risk of dying in heat anymore.” He was so flippant and nonchalant you wanted to scream. Mating should be special; it should be done right or not at all. You weren’t about to let some Alpha think he was entitled you just because it was ‘safe.’

“I’d rather die than be mated to someone like you.” It was harsh, but you weren’t the type to sugarcoat things, especially since you weren’t getting the best vibe from this guy. He scowled at you, stepping closer to corner you into the wall next to your door.

“Someone like me? Oh, honey, you haven’t even seen what I can do.” You gulped, and he pushed himself closer, causing you to close your eyes. You heard a dark chuckle escape his lips before a different voice caused you both to look to the end of the hall.

“David, I swear to holy mother of fuck, if you’re doing what the fuck I think you’re doing, I’m going to give you a up close and fucking personal look at Lucille.” Negan stormed down the hallway, and David broke away from you to kneel, a terrified look on his face.

“No, sir, I—”

“You fucking what, David?” David scrambled to find words to explain himself, and Negan looked to you to gauge your reaction. Upon seeing your horrified expression, his face softened. “Get the fuck out of my sight.” He scurried to get away from you and Negan, and Negan closed the gap between the two of you, Lucille dropping to the ground as he grabbed your shoulders. “What happened? Are you okay?” The dramatic shift in his personality almost gave you whiplash. He went from being cold and ferocious to warm and comforting in only a few seconds, and you weren’t sure if you were going to survive this man.

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. He—he offered to mate me, and I told him no and he got pissed.” Negan looked perplexed at your use of ‘offered,’ but nodded understandingly nonetheless.

“Let’s get you back in your room, alright?” He leant down to grab Lucille, his free hand hooking behind your back and leading you to your door. You both walked in, settling on your bed before Negan spoke again. “These fuckheads here—they aren’t to be trusted. You’re the first Omega I’ve ever brought back; the Alphas here are used to a fuck ton of Betas. They’re not gonna fuckin’ stop, and I’m not gonna be around all the time to stop them.” He paused, giving you a questioning look, and you nodded for him to continue. “That’s why I want you to stay in my room.”

You felt like your eyes bugged out of your head. You just met the guy, and he killed your friends, but… he’s protecting you. He’s willing to protect you in a world where everyone only cares about themselves, and you had to admit that there was something about him that made you feel warm and cozy. This wasn’t a decision about him, though; this was about you and your well-being. And if there were unsavory Alphas hidden in the woodwork, you would need any bit of protection you can get.

“Okay.”

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