#but i don't really regret anything

[daily-odile]

Odile patting Molly Epithet Erased on the head, you know why

have two bc i care them

#in stars and time #isat #epithet erased #molly blyndeff #isat odile #I've been trying to draw this for like... 5 days straight.... #Thank you for making me obligated to draw this. honestly might not've if it wasnt an ask #anyways ya'll so hear me out. odile mother/grandma figure to molly #Honestly after thinking about it a little more Odile is actually quite different to Calliope based on descriptions alone? but #I think having a Dependable Trustworthy Adult in her life is. She needs it #We don't know a lot about Calliope and idk what parallels odile has with her; but I hope she reminds Molly of her mom at least a little bit #And for Odile's pov? I think she'd really really like Molly #She's more mature than most for her age and she's extremely observant and intelligent. Those are things Odile respect #Cue a dead mom joke though and odile very quickly goes to ''ok there's something wrong with this child'' #I don't think I have the idea fleshed out enough in my head to say anything for sure? But Odile and Molly having a Talk about her home life #would be Extremely interesting #Oops! Rambled in tags again! Teehee! #also do you think odile will ask molly for her full name only for molly to hit her with the #''molly wolly doodle all the day blyndeff'' and odile instantly regrets it #validation for bonnie #edit: rearranged tags just in case #day 19 #crossover

[pixiemage]

Holy crap I completely forgot I attempted to download the entire Unus Annus channel right before it got deleted. I just found an old hard drive in my desk I forgot I even had, and like - dude. I have no idea how many videos are on here but it HAS to be in the triple digits, including thumbnails. This is friggin' insane.

#unus annus #markiplier #crankgameplays #also I realize that goes against the entire purpose of the channel #I know that #I don't really remember trying to download these in the first place so I can't tell you where the motivation came from #I only saw like two videos back then because a lot of them dealt with some existential topics and I can't handle that kind of thing usually #so maybe I had fomo regret at the time - who can say? #I don't intend to share them on YouTube or anything like that because I know Mark and Ethan didn't want that #I just think it's bonkers that I have a partial archive of something that no longer exists on the internet #this is the coolest thing I ever forgot I did #ADHD is a trip man

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her #but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son #just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead #so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options #that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive #thinking about it makes me go feral #they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible #and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too #but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye #percy jackson #sally jackson #pjo #hoo #percy and sally #percy jackon and the olympians #whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work #and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts #don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him #but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore? #and he knows that's not true but what if? #i'm thinking it #okay i think that's enough

[s2pdoktopus]

There weren't enough fanfics to satisfy my inner GinZura trash so... I drew this...

#it's been a while XD #ginzura #gintama #sakata gintoki #katsura kotaro #it's always fun to draw Gin's eyes. i don't know why. I really like it #Gin will not do anything and eventually Zura will go: what's wrong Gintoki? are you sick? I told you not to drink that yakult. it's expired- #and gintoki will regret doing anything in the first place #alternatively Zura hears Takasugi and Sakamoto and would go: Don't be stupid. Sakamoto. #if Gintoki uses his other sword that would make the anime hentai. Gintoki. have you no shame? trying to change the genre of the anime. #what about your loyal fans? the animators who work hard to meet the deadline? you would betray the people who bring you to life?- #gintoki to takasugi: I can carry the show as both a shonen anime and a shonen ai anime! Gin-san can multitask! #takasugi just wants the anime to not be comedy so he can be as menacing as his introduction initially showed him to be. #He will destroy everything dammit! it's not a joke! he's serious!

[violetdisasterzone]

It's so funny to me when people call Shen Qingqiu mean for the way he acts towards Shang Qinghua, or act as though Shang Qinghua is genuinely hurt and crying himself to sleep over that treatment. Shang Qinghua is SUCH a goddamn weirdo. He's a twink. He's 70 years old. He has no guilty conscience. He doesn't view anyone or anything around him as real. In part 3 of the Airplane Extras, when Binghe has Shen Qingqiu imprisoned in his palace, Shang Qinghua quite literally says that if he were in charge of the situation ("could still control the current Bing-ge with his pen") that he would have made Binghe "defile Shen Qingqiu hundreds of times." He adds detail that I'll spare you in this post. He wrote a novel where like every character was supposed to be gay, including his literal dream man, and then he calls straight people "normal" people. His narration is like a fever dream, in the way he views the world and how he understands/processes it. He's a funny little guy who is busy with way more important things. I promise you he does not care - and if anything, finds it actively amusing - that his most loyal hater who is literally 50 years younger than him is snarky with him sometimes. It's what he deserves tbh

#he's pathetic (affectionate) #at the end of the novel he does express regret that he was forced to make writing choices based on financial need #aka writing really bad smut that had an audience rather than his actual plot #but he never expresses regret that the REAL PEOPLE around him are suffering according to his writing #the immortal alliance conference? binghe's abuse? shen jiu's backstory? #I know the system controlled a lot of his choices but he didn't even want to try to change anything #(he did try to warn shen jiu about liu qingge's qi deviation but that's about all I can think of) #and don't misconstrue this as me calling him a bad person or morally bad #he's fine #he's a funny little guy #I like him #but let's not pretend he's some pure misunderstood soul #shang qinghua #shen qingqiu #svsss #does this count as #svsss meta #ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong #mxtx #尚清华 #沈清秋 #人渣反派自救系统

[not-poignant]

hiiii! have you considered releasing tradewinds as a single purchase through a site like gumroad?

Hi anon!

So the reason Tradewinds was shelved and not published like 8 years ago, is because I couldn't find an Aboriginal sensitivity reader willing to read m/m with disturbing themes. I had sensitivity readers for the other side of things (like Matan and his heritage), but I kept either not finding anyone, or the one person I found took my $200 USD deposit and vanished and never spoke to me / responded to any of my emails.

As a result, I was uncomfortable distributing it anywhere broadly, even though I was relatively confident the novel isn't offensive, because I just don't know 100%.

I am a lot more confident releasing it via subscription as an exclusive novel, because the people who pay for subscription are often folks who are a) already used to my style of writing and b) generally know what to expect from me, vs. cold audiences who don't. I'm kind of kicking myself that I didn't realise that Tradewinds would make a great exclusive/paywalled release for subscription, because it means it's only ever going to find a very narrow bandwidth of readers.

Basically if I could release it for single purchase - as basically an ebook - I would have released it like 8 years ago, anon. And the reason I have actually released it this specific way is down to the fact that I'm just not really confident offering it for broader distribution.

That might change one day, if I happen to stumble across a sensitivity reader who is okay with my style of writing, who is reputable + has references (i.e. so I know I won't lose a fair chunk of money in the process, because that burned me pretty badly, not gonna lie). But until then, having Tradewinds be limited is the only way I'm comfortable releasing it at all.

Folks are more than welcome to sign up for one month, download the book (and read any other early access they want) and then leave. They can even just put 'I only wanted one thing and now I have it' in the exit survey so I know what they were there for if they want. Then it's still a single purchase (with some early access extras), and they still access the downloadable file. :)

#asks and answers #tradewinds #merchantverse #tradewinds was shelved not because i think it's a bad book #but because i wasn't comfortable going to broad distribution without a very specific kind of sensitivity reader #it was actually meant to be the series i started publishing with #long before perth shifters existed #and then i realised that through writing a highly diverse cast #i might have actually really hurt the future of the series #and had to shelve the whole thing and all the worldbuilding #i really don't regret tradewinds at all #i like the book and i love the characters #but yeah it was complicated #what i thought would be an 'easy' problem to solve was really difficult in part because #'sensitivity readers' is a very USA concept and certainly was back then #and a lot of the folks i enquired with who did offer sensitivity reading on Aboriginal Australian matters #didn't read m/m or didn't want to read anything problematic / with any disturbing themes #which i can understand #but literally reduced my pool to '0 plus that one person who took $200 USD from me at a time when i had to skip medical appts because of it #i'm sure it would be better now #but i'm also happy to offer a novel to folks who sign up to the patreon / ream account #since that is my main and primary income

[givemebackmypills]

hmmmmm

#meeeeeeeee again #tried to play lis after all these years.............. #this game gave me a lot of anxious moments #good for her! #i have a lot of uni stuff to do but I don't feel like doing ANYTHING (I already regret it + deadlines are so CLOSE) #max caulfield #my art #lis #life is strange #that quote is really random

[babykittenteach]

2023 in review! I made an effort to try more things and it worked mostly (at least for TV and movies). New things, new-to-me things, and new installments of old things all had characters to love even if I didn't necessarily feel fannish about them, and I'm hoping 2024 does, too.

#but yeah no I had a lot of fun with some of these #mp100 is now fully going down as one of my favorite works of art ever. i mean it. i'd stick it on a shelf with discworld. #trying Nida Manzoor's work was SO GOOD like if edgar wright knew how to make girls lovable I meant to only try one episode of WALP #and then I marathonned it all in one night right into the sunrise and I do not regret it #(look I love edgar wright but) #i had my issues with GO2 and Fionna & Cake and HxH (which I finally tried yes I am late) but still they had babies in them #one piece and the last of us did like major progress for proving those mediums *could* be adapted and not suck so seriously kudos #I didn't go into Barbie expecting it to Solve Capitalism and The Patriarchy so I appreciate what it did do #Nimona was just gorgeous #Across the spider-verse is so good it's hard to say anything about it #Peacemaker is obnoxiously good and Chris's breakdown near the end really got me #Bottoms & Marry My Dead Body & Ying-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity are just fun okay don't think about it #the strange planet show was sweet and peaceful to watch #and even with a 40% budget cut OFMD has my heart and ed is The babygirl of all time for me #thanks for reading these tags if you did and I hope you have a good new year #art i'm proud of

[jaggededges123]

"born to be an event writer forced to be a mod" i've made this my discord status because it is extremely Me jsafklsdjkflajsdl

#not that i hate it or anything #but i really don't feel like i have the natural inclination or personality to run events #the only reason i started was bc niecest week didn't happen last year and i was sad about it for like 4 months #so i decided to do my own instead of being sad about it like once a week lmfao #tonight is Learn Things About Coffee That They'll Regret Having Shared In The Morning night ig

[tippenfunkaport]

I've always loved Glow and Arrow! They're easily some of the best Glimbow fankids out there by far. I love their designs. Just out of curiosity, do you have any other fankids from spop?

Ahhhh, thank you so much!

I am basically a lazy writer in that I have a general sense of what fankids everyone has (like in my head Caradora eventually adopt a second kid when Finn is much older that they name Mara and Flora has several siblings) but I don't bother to really flesh them out in my head until I actually need to write them.

Which is why the only other kids I've actually named (because I started to write something with them that I never actually got around to finishing) are my Seamista kids and those are...

Their oldest son, Oshin, and the middle daughter, Shelli, both carried by Mermista.

And then Sea Hawk carries a set of twins like a proud Papa seahorse that they name Ember & Blaze.

#sea hawk ends up carrying them bc he wants more kids #and mermista's postpartum with shelli like ughh if you want them you better carry them yourself #and she was joking #but sea hawk was like OK!! 😍😍😍 #and she was like wow really? ok i guess #and then had regrets as he's running around with their babies inside him setting things on fire and screaming PREGNANCY ADVENCHA! #but it works out fine #i would say that someday I'll share this fic but at this stage i don't want to promise anything #seamista #sea hawk #mermista #fankids #asks

[howlhawk]

*approaches microphone* *taps it* ahem. your honor, i transed his gender.

#trans #cowboy #superhero #superhero oc #hero oc #lgbtqa #lgbt #pride #stanley does art #charlie grimms #bi trans cowboy superhero. you're welcome #will probably reblog later with a bunch of the alts i made #i really do like how this came out i think the shading on the flag is banger #and i think i did good with his body type. muscular but not shrink wrapped #also. i regret to inform you this is of dubious canonicity i don't know if i want him to be trans or cis #he plays very straight into masculinity so he's not like. nb or questioning or anything like that. He Is Extremely Guy either way #and a lot of silver city guys are trans so on some level sometimes you need a cis not het guy to level it out LMAO #but it's fun to think about and play around with and draw him with top surgery scars #Pride Month Now btw. who give shit. it's february and i long for summer

[whatudottu]

...So yeah turns out I was lying in the tags butch Bulkhead actually gave me inspiration for t-swag Breakdown??? Inspired entirely by big naturals (not that you can tell) I did this in like... 30 or 40 minutes??? Never doubt the power of a butch I learnt that!

Look at this and tell me he’s not canonically trans I swear to god (projecting)

#breakdown #tfp breakdown #transformers #tfp #humanformers #maccadam #fanart #okay okay so this is fucking insane because i have been suffering making a breakdown human design for at least a year #and i came up with this shit in half an hour and everytime i look at it i don't regret it once? #maybe i forgot a headband to put on this bitch like i did with bulk but like i'm not risking changing anything i've suffered too long #imagine this bitch has a headband and he's not wearing it at the moment #also might've forgotten the whole eyepatch thing but like i was looking at two eyed breakdown forgive me #the reason why butch bulk and t-swag breaky are a combo pair because bulk introduced break to butch life #(aka the bitches are exes and our bi king found immense euphoria in being he/him he didn't notice the swag) #then plagued with both paranoia and dysphoria only really came out to bulkhead because he deserved to know #while bulkhead wasn't into guys he was at least still friendly with breakdown but like #unmedicated breakdown is utterly fucking terrified about being outed and it's really just that refusal to get help and stuff #that drives breakdown away and idk maybe bulkhead assumed he was way too jumpy to not be hiding something else #turn to con- get hit- go through transition etc because breaky gets idk either anti-anxiety or anti-psychotic (paranoia baby 😎✌) #bulkhead and breakdown meet again and it's like 'congratulations on transitioning' and literally still fighting like a bot and con would #and wheeljack who is also butch is unaware that breakdown pre and post are the same person so it's like #'remember that scout you used to date' *simultaneously* bulk: 'she's dead' break: 'she's my sister' #wheeljack: '...oh yeah i can see why you hate each other' and just gets on with it #confused euphoria and like 'i know this makes you happy so congrats but like also i don't like you that much' dynamic #yeah-

[plulp]

HIIII everybody good morning ❤️ i now have 50 followers (more than 50 now) and i hope that i don't get any more or else i'll have to block everyone (just kidding. i wouldn't do that.)

but now that we're all here if you have a dol pc you want me to draw PLEASE send it to me through asks i'll try to draw as many as i physically can because i think it's funny and i'm going to regret this later

just send in:

- your pc (IMAGE!!!)

- info about them maybe? (i want to know everyone in detail. i love you all. let's all get married)

- and you can ask for a dol character too if you want (my designs because i literally do not know anyone else's i'm sorry i don't look at fan art often anymore but if you have a specific design i can do that too)

and that's it!!

thank you all so much for being so kind to me and i appreciate it a lot :) everything means a lot to me and i'm glad you all like my art

if you don't want to see these asks please block the tag #spulpal <- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#germaphone #spulpal #it's special and pulp together :) #i've never done this before because all my other blogs are so impersonal #like as in i don't share my thoughts at all because i'm majorly nervous all the time #even if they're like way bigger than this one #thankfully i'm inactive on them because it is STIFLING i can tell you that much #i can't bring myself to run art accounts anymore i'm just too tired to draw full pieces #but when it's drawing for other people i can do anything. i love drawing for other people more than my life #but thank you all so much for being so nice to me :) i really get nervous about my art #i think this is the first time i've drawn in a few months? #my art block hits hards very frequently so i just try to crank out as much as i can in as little time possible #but i think i'm okay right now #i haven't drawn so much in such a short time in like 2 years #well it's whatever #after this either 1 i'll never do it again or 2 i'll do it again and i'll regret it #if you send in an oc i hope i don't disappoint 😰😰😰

[beanghostprincess]

Just thinking about the fact Sora died because of the poison she drink to save her kids, because she is gentle and kind. And her only son who the desesperate act work is as kind as her.

But the StrawHats don't know she did that, this is something he don't have the courage to tell. And they know even less that Sanji is ready to do the same.

He isn't pround of that, but he ends up discovering the poison she drink and even have the recipe of how to do it. Because the germa soldiers teached them this and others poisons.

And this little fact is like a silent threat, a thing that if the crew discovers this, would be attentive about anything he drinks until they're certainly he's not gonna do the same thing his mother did.

And when the StrawHats learn about this fact, the exactly thing he expected happens, he notice Chopper and Robin always near the kitchen with the excuse of how's there was calmer, Nami and Usopp start to do his drinks for him or always are looking him while he's doing it, the others does things too. And Sanji notices all of this.

It's needed months to calm the crew, but still after they stop, all of them always have this fear in the back of they're minds (Luffy even goes as far as asking Law to do a check up on Sanji the next time they meet), that he will do this, but they want to believe he will not. They really want to.

(Just a thought that come to my mind yesterday, and I wanted to share, y'know? Based on some headcanons)

Oh, damn. This honestly hits close to home and it's really interesting so I wanna talk about it. But, you know, it's a serious topic so:

TW // Suicide, poison, self-harm, depression, etc etc you know the drill about Sanji and his issues. I don't go deep, tho, so It's not THAT explicit but could be triggering.

I think that after WCI and Wano, they'd all be worried. Sanji has always been pretty self-sacrificing with everyone and he doesn't value his life in the slightest. He doesn't show signs at first of being actively suicidal but the way he treats his own life makes it clear that he gets into self-sabotaging situations to the point of it being considered self-harm or even passive suicidal behavior. He just- Doesn't care about dying because he puts others first all the time. He has been doing that forever and Skypiea is just one of the times he does that. But, y'know, they never notice that. At least not everyone. I think Zoro is the first to know because of Thriller Bark, honestly. That's one of the biggest signs imo. But then they're separated and it's not like they can talk about it. Then two years happen and uh, shit goes downhill after that because WCI is just utterly traumatizing for Sanji and Wano makes everything worse to the point of asking Zoro to kill him if he loses himself. And we always say that's really gay (because it is) but we ignore the whole point of Sanji genuinely asking somebody to kill him without any fucking hesitation. And he spends all of Wano having the biggest crisis of his life wondering if he's human enough or worthy of being in the crew and???? What the actual fuck. Anyway, I think the crew ends up finding out about everything and I don't believe Sanji is well mentally after all of this. I know they don't write it like this because things are happening and they have to go to Egghead, but I think Sanji would end up really fucked up after WCI and Wano to the point of being worrisome.

If they do find out about the poison thing and Sanj's suicidal thoughts (honestly, I don't know how they would even find out about it unless Reiju tells them or Sanji snaps and yells about that, but, y'know. The point is that they know and Sanji is getting worse) I think you're completely right and they'd be all over him. Because that's exactly what happens when somebody acts this way. They look after him to a suffocating extent and watch his steps. They take turns to watch him. They prepare his drinks. They even make up something so he doesn't have to be on night watch so he can sleep, because he's probably not sleeping either. Or eating well, for that matter, which is what makes them all worry even more in the first place.

And hear me out, because I think he would try to do it. Like- Commit, I mean. Not gonna get into the topic too deep but I think he'd try and I think it wouldn't work because somebody would help him right away and I think he'd try to play it off as a mistake and a misunderstanding, but everyone would know. And he'd just try to ignore their pep talks and interventions.

This is projecting from personal experience and everyone goes through these things differently, but God, I think he'd fucking hate it if they looked after him. Because he knows he won't do it again. At least he doesn't want to do it again. But everybody keeps looking after him like he's about to break at any moment and it's so damn annoying to not have any type of privacy because they think he's gonna off himself the second he's alone. And he gets why they're doing it and appreciates their efforts to look after him, but acting this way is not the answer to his problems. It's just asphyxiating and it isn't helping him get better. You know how the crew is, they're NOT subtle and careful with anything and they're just-- They have good intentions but it's suffocating and he can't handle it anymore.

And I think he'd snap. I actually want to write a fic about this if you let me use your idea (I will credit you, ofc) because I think it'd be great to make him snap at Nami, specifically, and then regret it completely.

Long story short because this is getting long: I think Brook and Robin would end up talking things out with him because they're the ones who understand him the most in this situation. He'd apologize to Nami but also everyone else would apologize too for acting this way, they were just worried and wanted to look after him. I think, after this, the only ones watching Sanji would be Brook and Robin and they'd do it carefully, supporting him and helping him get better. And the whole crew would be next to him along the way but doing it with less assertiveness and just gentler.

I think the concept of Sanji thinking about death so often is great because it adds depth to his character and it's not a crazy thought. I think it's pretty damn canon, actually. At least him being careless about his own life.

#so i never talk about these things here bc trauma but i've gone through shit like this and people don't let me go near medication alone #and it's been YEARS #and it's only stressful because they don't let you do anything on your own once shit like this happens and you lose all sense of privacy #like your whole identity and intimacy you could have fades away and i understand why sanji would snap at them #i think he'd regret it right away and he'd apologize and nami would understand perfectly but damn it hurts anyway #i could go deeper on this analysis but idk if it's a topic i should talk about on tumblr bc it's triggering for some #i think you understood what i wanted to say tho #he gets better dw #robin and brook are like- obviously the ones who have gone through shit like this ofc they'd understand him #anyway i always love to talk about sanji's mental health issues #he's very depressed has anxiety and probably bpd and an ed but that's a topic for another day #and he's also a sweetheart and deserves to be happy #we're all about positive thoughts here and i swear he gets better #one piece #black leg sanji #straw hat pirates #tw self destructive behavior #tw suicide #please be aware of the tags it's a really sensitive topic and i don't want any of you to be triggered :(

[wereh0gz]

Is my discomfort with my boobs gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or just a general discomfort with the sensations of having a human body that comes with possible neurodivergency

#ramblings #it's probably all three tbh #it's not severe. like i can live with this. it's fine #but also i generally wish i had a flatter chest #every time i imagine myself in my head i see myself with a flatter chest #but like do i wanna go through the trouble of getting rid of them entirely #or should i just try getting a binder or something #or should i just. leave things as they are #idfk #i don't think top surgery would be an option bc money and. i'm scared of surgery honestly #and the recovery looks painful as shit #and like what if i regret it? what if i was wrong and that wasn't the best option for me? #i think i should just try to get a binder or something. just see how that works for me #and contemplate surgery when i'm older and can support myself and am more sure of whether that's right for me or not #also i'm. hesitant to call it anything bc again it's not really that severe #it's like. a thought that occassionally crosses my mind. at least once a day.. and doesn't leave for a while.... #hm yeah no maybe it's not as mild as i thought it was actually. wonderful realization to come to in the middle of writing a post #anyways. idk if anyone has any binder recs or anything i'll take 'em #also maybe tips on how to approach my mom abt this?? idk if feels like something i should talk abt with her but idk how to even bring it up

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I'm thinking of fully releasing what's left of Descant today.......

#thoughts #my writing #ganondorf #descant of greatness #unhallowed vespers #I think I will #and then there's only Antiphon left!!! #it's almost doneee #I'm just full of work and very perplexed about zelda/sheik #the emotional note is so hard to hit #anyways congrats me for writing a reasonably-sized fic for once #that did not take me almost a decade to complete #I regret to inform everybody I am not getting cured of my urge to work on a child timeline alternative :((((( #in fact I get better and better ideas for it every day....... #I'm afraid to name it because then it becomes concrete #and I still don't know.... how to make it #in a way where the mood and emotions aren't betrayed #I really don't know if writing is the best way to convey this story but anything else would be deranged so ????? #:(