#okay okay so this is fucking insane because i have been suffering making a breakdown human design for at least a year

[whatudottu]

...So yeah turns out I was lying in the tags butch Bulkhead actually gave me inspiration for t-swag Breakdown??? Inspired entirely by big naturals (not that you can tell) I did this in like... 30 or 40 minutes??? Never doubt the power of a butch I learnt that!

Look at this and tell me he’s not canonically trans I swear to god (projecting)

#breakdown #tfp breakdown #transformers #tfp #humanformers #maccadam #fanart #okay okay so this is fucking insane because i have been suffering making a breakdown human design for at least a year #and i came up with this shit in half an hour and everytime i look at it i don't regret it once? #maybe i forgot a headband to put on this bitch like i did with bulk but like i'm not risking changing anything i've suffered too long #imagine this bitch has a headband and he's not wearing it at the moment #also might've forgotten the whole eyepatch thing but like i was looking at two eyed breakdown forgive me #the reason why butch bulk and t-swag breaky are a combo pair because bulk introduced break to butch life #(aka the bitches are exes and our bi king found immense euphoria in being he/him he didn't notice the swag) #then plagued with both paranoia and dysphoria only really came out to bulkhead because he deserved to know #while bulkhead wasn't into guys he was at least still friendly with breakdown but like #unmedicated breakdown is utterly fucking terrified about being outed and it's really just that refusal to get help and stuff #that drives breakdown away and idk maybe bulkhead assumed he was way too jumpy to not be hiding something else #turn to con- get hit- go through transition etc because breaky gets idk either anti-anxiety or anti-psychotic (paranoia baby 😎✌) #bulkhead and breakdown meet again and it's like 'congratulations on transitioning' and literally still fighting like a bot and con would #and wheeljack who is also butch is unaware that breakdown pre and post are the same person so it's like #'remember that scout you used to date' *simultaneously* bulk: 'she's dead' break: 'she's my sister' #wheeljack: '...oh yeah i can see why you hate each other' and just gets on with it #confused euphoria and like 'i know this makes you happy so congrats but like also i don't like you that much' dynamic #yeah-

[bloodychazorite]

Q!Slime Rant :DDD

I think Q!Slime deserves to snap, or–at the very least–be bitter.

It is insane how the other members of the other members have been treating him, ever since he lost his daughter. Mocking him, ridiculing him, bringing him back over and over again to that moment. Gods forbid, however, he does the same for a second, asking the–perfectly rational, by the way–question of whether or not the eggs are actually okay. Everyone knows JuanaFlippa is different from the other eggs, being brought back a few times now. And even Slime doesn’t know this but the other residents of the island suspect that Juana is code and trying to infect him. They know she’s different as well, so the question isn't insane.

Wilbur openly poked him, calling him a Misclicker but as soon as he brings up that valid point of Tallulah maybe not being okay, he snaps. (Also this hypocrite was yelling at Phil for not doing anything? Oh my gods.) Bad brought up Flippa’s death and Charlie’s mistakes and failures every chance he got and gave him an egg named after his dead daughter during his fucking breakdown. I’m aware that he’s a demon and maybe that contributes to the fact that he has harshly different standards of what’s okay, but that is an insane action to jump to. When your egg is alive, it’s a lot easier to mock those with dead children, isn’t it?

No one is even remotely attempting to help him with the Code Virus.

They are laughing, and they are pointing it out, but no one is doing anything. Each and every one of them knows that Charlie will be stubborn if they tell him it’s Flippa. Denial is his favorite stage of grief and he’s hardly left it since he first got on this island. But that doesn’t change the fact that people know something is wrong and no one has tried to help other than a brief, “Are you okay?” Or an “Are you feeling alright?”

Clearly not!!

I’m not saying he was a perfect saint, and I’m not saying he’s never done anything wrong. For a while, he was a terrible parent. But he was trying to change, and even succeeding in a few aspects. He loved his girl and was trying to change for her, even before she died for the first time. 

Each time he had something taken from him, he got worse. 

Every time his daughter died, Mariana left, Tilín’s death, everything makes him worse. 

No one tried to help him then, and no one is trying to help him now. 

He is far from perfect, but he hardly deserves the endless amounts of suffering he’s been subjected to, not many people do.

A person is deteriorating, decaying, being eaten alive from the inside out in front of each of the island’s residents. People are watching decomposition happen in real time, mentally and physically. In the mental aspect, they’ve been watching it happen for months.

I hope Charlie goes full corrupt and eats all their asses.

Y'know what? Not even that!

I hope he goes full corrupt and they have to lock him up or contain him somehow because he becomes a danger to others or a contamination issue. 

Maybe he drags himself around the island, voice hollow and teeming with glitch after tic after error.

Perhaps the Federation could step in and drag him away kicking and screaming desperately for his daughter, wailing and sobbing for anyone to listen and save him, forgive him.

He could lose all concept of his humanity, entirely a shell of his former self, and every person he speaks to can hardly find his soul behind his eyes until he sees Flippa. Not even José cheers him up anymore. The only light in his eyes is the unnatural green gleam against his now dull blue eyes when his gaze meets Flippa’s.

And I hope that–no matter what–every member of Quesadilla Island has to come to terms with the fact that they did nothing to help a suffering, mentally tortured friend, and now there’s a chance that they’ll never get him back.

Anyway I’m insane how's your day going :p

#qsmp #q!slimecicle #charlie slimecicle #badboyhalo #el mariana #juanaflipa #codecicle #qsmp codeflippa #they make me sick #I hope Q!Slime gets worse #can't wait till everything goes to shit #qsmp rant #fucking love this server man #somebody please talk to me about this I'm imlpoding

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

I have been thinking about Metalocalypse and Gods/Demons more lately.

The prophecy was always slated to take place, the universe was determined about that and presumably The Whale/Goddess/Queen Alive had some sway in making sure things played out how they needed to.

Which I want to say I think Metalocalypse shows a sort of casual cruelness with Gods and Demons in an almost innocent way? They do things typically using humans as tools or puppets to move along to a greater goal they need to reach with no real concern about the comfort or wellbeing of the human pawns.

So because we know Nathan did indeed have to suffer. A lot to create the song of salvation he was the one to remember Doomstar Requiem which for me makes so much fucking sense.

Nathan can draw from what happened that night to create the SOS, but if Murderface remembered being possessed he would have been fucked up sooner, Toki would have been so fucked up he couldn’t have performed same for Skwisgaar and Pickles. Extra trauma would not have pushed the four of them to create, but Nathan as the voice of the band he as far as She sees it needs it.

But mostly I have thought about how these people got to where we meet them in the show.

Charles surely wouldn’t have wanted to manage a group of rowdy teen boys, but something compelled him and that same thing made him so intensely loyal to them that he killed Melmord to keep his place in their lived, he was a pawn in all of this to die for them and become the Dead Man.

If Skwisgaar had had a good childhood he never would have run away and found his guitar, he wouldn’t have spent all his money on guitar lessons and all his time playing to escape the stress at home.

If Toki hadn’t been abused so intensely he wouldn’t have found his guitars or met Runke, he never would have had that final push that caused him to leave and find a place he belongs.

Nathan had the most normal home life so we know his thing was different. We know he had dreams growing up about a band in shadows and became super obsessed with finding them and then just deciding to start the band in his dreams himself.

Even Murderface’s dad’s breakdown most likely was due to the prophecy, to Her. His parents died horribly before he could ever know them and he was raised by a horribly bitter cruel woman who blamed him for it.

Pickles and Seth if we’re being honest neither had a good childhood. It’s almost like She was okay with either becoming a part of the prophecy but Pickles was the one who won while Seth always mentions his intense violent jealousy of Pickles and this feeling he should be the one where Pickles is, because She never cared. Just so long as one brother played the part but the other would forever be tormented by the feeling of never being whole.

Even Rockzo was picked. It is so fucking weird as a little kid he found Mashed Potato Johnson’s album, that listening to it specifically led to the clown haunting him and tormenting him, driving this literal child insane to the point he tried to slit his own wrists in the bath. Then caves in, devotes himself to being the clown, joining a band, fucking up being in a band and then coincidentally meeting Toki when Toki starts regressing in season one. It is like She knew this kid specifically, that Toki would have suffered so much because he had to but She would have to cause a whole person to essentially become his comfort object to keep him grounded.

Do I think She had anything to do with Magnus being an abusive asshole? That I genuinely am at a toss up for especially because after being kicked out She would have no use for him at all and if She made him crazy temporarily just so he would be kicked out of Dethklok then She wouldn’t have kept him in that state of rage for so long since his future actions nearly killed Toki and ruined the entire prophecy.

Gods don’t seem to do oversights.

Like I really love the dawning realization watching the show again how so many fucking things are deliberate. Even like I have said before how the Tribunal exaggerated shit about Dethklok to make Crozier angry and paranoid about the band. Realizing and noticing post movie they clearly didn’t believe anything they told Crozier, they just said shit and acted scared and angry to get a reaction from him, to keep him compliant.

Like at the end of the day the entire show was basically watching Gods and Demons treat all these human players as Marionette puppets dangling from strings with limited freedoms.

#metalocalypse

[charizardstolemynickname]

TOH SEASON 3 EPISODE 2 REACTION PART 2!!!!!!

I have 17 minutes left, so this may be a shorter ish post, who knows, WE SHALL CONTINUE THOUGH!

Woah, Grudgby team captain girl! NOT COOL, WILLOW IS INNOCENT

And Camila is so me right now, she understands, THEY ARE JUST CHILDREN, WHY MUST THEY SUFFER

AND DAMN IT! I did think Miki reminded me or Kikimora, especially the name DAMN YOU WERE GOOD LAST TIME WE SAW YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING BRO

Belos pal, what was your plan, we have established the Collector is immortal and basically all knowing, what tf did you think was going to happen......... THAT'S YOUR PLAN?! Worn the collector that he is in danger? GOD BELOS, even I could have come up with a better plan than "I am created by the power of friendship! And you are in danger!"

"What's the little red kitten trying to do?" LOVE you Camila, iconic, and you didn't even intend to

Kikimora, I'm with Luz, Belos has already been here and done this, don't be a copycat, be original bro

WOAHHH WELL DONE CAMILA! YOU DID SO WELL AT THE MAGIC GLYPH STUFF! I am not kidding, this whole fight scene just makes me love Camila more, PLEASE tell me as a fandom, you all adore her?

....Boscha. Okay, say what you want about Boscha but she has her priorities, she cares about 1 thing and 1 thing only, grudgby. Oh and maybe power. Well, that is probably combined.

Amity just going "nah" is HILARIOUS, absolutely, know your worth queen! Who would have though Boscha would be clingy? ........Oh Boscha definitely has abandonment and attachment issues, That makes so much sense! Damn. You know what, i don't forgive you, but I get you Boscha

"I wish you were here Flapjack" DON'T YOU WORRY HUNTER, ME TOO, BUT HE WILL COME BACK.. he will, he will.

Willow... my sweet child, this is called a breakdown. GOD you are hurting my soul, mostly because this feels like a mirror I'm like "IS THIS HOW I LOOK IN THESE MOMENTS?!"

.....Yeahhh, well. King buddy, that was the wrong thing to say at the wrong time. Is it just me who feels a bit bad for the Collector? Like, he is definitely doing the wrong stuff, absolutely, and needs to be stopped... but they are just a kid! He is doing what any kid with power would do. And yeahhh he should still be stopped. but god damn, I do feel for the kiddo.

"The Collector is just a little kid. A scary powerful one, but also a sad and alone. " THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. God someone adopt this little kiddo, give him a home, and love...and make sure he doesn't do this again.

"Mom, are you a secret nerd?" AFTER THAT EMOTIONAL WRECK OF A CONVERSATION! But also YES OF COURSE SHE IS. She is your mother after all, you are all just nerds, and THAT IS WONDERFUL

AHHHHHHH PALISMAN HATCH! Okay, I have paused it, because "All I wanted, was to be understood" BROKE ME. AND, I want to guess what the Palisman will be. Hmm. A giraffe would be funny. OOOOOO A SNAKE WOULD BE GREAT! After all the snake talk and memories. And they are often misunderstood and seen as scary when they are just little guys. AND I have always wanted a snake sorta staff thing. MY FINAL GUESS IS SNAKE. God I hope it is after all this AND SNAKES LAY EGGS, I am a fucking genius

ITS MAKING ME WAIT?! Unless it was just that orb. FUCK I HAVE TO WAIT.

However WILLOW PLEASE, DO THE BREATHING THING. Hunter for god sake save your future girlfriend (/lh)

AHHHHHHHHHHHH HE DID!!!!!!! GOD DAMN IT. I will go insane over this. THEY ARE SO CUTE

"You have magic!" "....The magic of friendship?" "No. The magic of Flapjack!" okay so that was funny BUT I STILL BELIEVE FLAPJACK CAN COME BACK (denial is a fun stage)

"I MISSED A LOT!" Stan Luz, she is just annoyed she missed out on all her friends getting powerups

IS HER PALISMAN AN ORB OR WHAT!?! I AM SO LOST WE HAVE TO WAIT LONGER!? Damn it.

Camila, Gus and Hunter being nerds together and making references to each other is fucking hilarious, what a strange team

GUS DON'T STEAL MY GUESS

.........A SNAKE SHIFTER?! Okay THAT WAS AS CLOSE AS I WAS GOING TO GUESS BUT WOOOOOOOOO That is actually so cool tf

"STRINGBEAN"?! God I want one

CAMILA ! She is so me, I too would just go "AWW LOOK AT ALL YOU CUTIES!"

Hunter literally teared up at "you mean a lot to me too" (he is so me its unreal) AND THE BLUSHING AGAIN, GOD WHEN DO YALL GET TOGETHER AHHHHHHH THE HOLDING HANDS PINKIES FUCK, why am I so invested in these

belos you god damn snitch

AND THAT IS THE END OF THAT EPISODE

#the owl house #toh #luz owl house #toh spoilers #amity owl house #toh king #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house season 3 #the owl house season 3 spoilers #the owl house spoilers #eda the owl lady #toh hunter #the owl house hunter #toh lilith #lilith clawthorne #lilith the owl house #toh hooty #toh amity #amity blight #the owl house amity #toh willow #the owl house willow #toh gus #the owl house gus #toh the collector #WOOOOOOO

[biweeklybisexual]

I binge watched this season in like a day so I’ll have to rewatch bc I missed a lot of fucking things but it was a little underwhelming </3

some things were very good tho like Richie’s episode, the Christmas flashback etc but I wish they had done a better job at fleshing out Claire because her character felt sooooo flat. Her dialogues with Carmy were so boring, and I know the awkwardness was definitely a point but it kind of came at the expense of any chemistry. It could have genuinely been so good had they handled her relationship with Carmy better. There’s a big disconnect bc they both think they have a good understanding of each other given they both work in very demanding fields and they do it out of passion. But Claire enjoys her work and Carmy loves his but he doesn’t like it anymore. They think they’re on the same page but they’re not. It would have been useful to highlight that disconnect better for the end to be even more foreshadowed and therefore hit harder.

Like the end felt terrible but it could have felt even worse had we actually gotten something a little more engaging from them both and I mourn that okay. I like to feel bad.

They did an okay job of showing Carmy’s unhealthy relationship with his work BUT again I would have written it better (delusional). Like this man is going insane and it’s all throwaway jokes and all until like the last episode. He was due more than a few almost-breakdowns before that last ep. That would have also built more dramatic tension (not to mention add some realism) and made the end more striking.

Ebra’s arc made some sense but also, badly handled. Sydney was great tho like maybe the only things I don’t have too much of a gripe about are her arc and those of Tina, Richie and Marcus. All in all it wasn’t bad but it could have been so much more that I’m a bit disappointed… I feel like they bit more than they could chew, it’s a very crowded show and a lot of moments felt superfluous and that’s time that could have gone towards other things like Ebra’s struggle with change, Nat and Carmy, and Claire !! I understand all the yelling and chaos is thematically relevant but like some of it could have definitely been cut to make place for other more essential stuff, like the real meat of their struggles etc.

AGAIN I get they don’t have time to talk about stuff and that’s like the point of the show. BUT the first episodes had a lot of filler and the later ones suffered from it I think. Idk I’m not an authority or whatever.

#anyway I just wanted to air out some thoughts #still very enjoyable watch ! #the bear

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

Joe fans could atleast not slut shame Taylor so horribly. As women they could atleast have some shame. Just because he is private he gets benefit of the doubt. I adore him but he hardly has ever opened his mouth publically while his public image has been made so beautiful by Taylor writing several albums and a few obligatory polite words by his co-stars. She isn't a horrible disappointment of a human being who faked her sadness and disrespected their relationship. A mastermind who has been faking it since the break up to do everything to turn the public and the media against Joe. Nor is she a whore who goes through men like clothes and makes her poor exes suffer for years by writing about them. I hope these people dont treat their real life loved ones this way when tragedy strikes and they start self destructing and act insane till they have a complete mental breakdown.

We can all see she is not okay but still has to show upto work like we all do. Her trying to have a public rebound with a trash guy and trying to shift her love for Joe onto him isn't a good idea. Atleast she is trying no one behaves the same. For all we know joe could be fucking his way through London. Any of us in this situation especially with the extra public and media attention would act way worse than Taylor is. Even her fans tbh like log out. She is clearly not in a good head space and things could go way worse from now on. May be if you can't speak good of a person in need of help don't mock especially throw her lyrics back at her which she is strong enough to share with the whole world even the most intrusive and worst of them.

I haven’t seen any Joe fan slut shame Taylor yet. I mean, some people are definitely slut shaming her, but it’s to be expected when a woman does anything related to a man, unfortunately. Anyway, as I said weeks ago, right after the breakup happened: he might get the shorter end of the stick in the short term, but in the long term she’s the one who has to live with the societal expectations that come from being a single woman in her thirties, the slut shaming, the headlines, the infinite gossip… and it’s already happening.

[starlesscastellation]

the fuklckig stars are out. this has to mean something. not to like mcr5 theorize on main but like I know its foundations and its destruction to rebuilding which was what the fire and rain was. But the fucking stars. that's not rebuilding that's rebuilt. That's 'the destruction is over and the sky is clear again'. The storm has cleared.

so this analysis will be a shit show.

listen I'm not very good at this I'm a little too insane to fully understand everything and I'm probably reading into it too much. it's also a long rant so apologies.

but these lyrics from foundations of decay.

"when the storm it gains" I'm imagining in whatever over exaggerated thing I'm doing is either the fire or the actual storm. cause like storm = destruction you fucking know

"and the sky it rains / let it flood, let it flood, let it wash away" again LITERALLY what is fucking happening. the rain washed away the fire and the destruction.

"and as you stumble through your last crusade" it's the last show. the destruction's been washed away and it's the last show.

"will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays?" now I have many thoughts on this. this could go a couple ways. I suppose in this metaphor we're mixing up the sun (morning rays) and the stars from the set, but they both have the same meaning- the calm at the end of the storm.

To me it could be about letting the band die. It could be welcoming in the end after resolving all of the things that didn't go quite right the first time, having one more chance to be themselves and proud on stage. And it's over. Now everything has been righted, just one more tour to put out the flames and they can welcome the bands death.

or it means welcoming the death of some of the things the band used to be. It could be like a we are no longer the people who started the band, lots of things have changed. And that's okay. The suffering is over and with the stars out we know things have changed for the better. The stars are out and that means they can keep going and grow from the decay.

but wait I've got more shit to unpack

the breakdown.

"cause the message must be pure" they had to return for the right reasons. and bring back the thing the band was for. MCR saved my life, how often do we see that? pretty damn frequently. the message is you are not alone. and it feels like ending is losing some of what linked us all together.

"against change (you can wander through the ruins)" again pretty straightforward like don't come back because things will be different, it's easier to wait in the remains of what succeeded even if it was hard.

"we are plagued (but the poison is the cure)" MCR did kind of plague them. All of them had some form of solo work after that or other music collaboration but it was mostly MCR fans who continued to follow the works, they would always be the guys from MCR before maybe the guy who made Hesitant Alien or Stomachaches or Remember the Laughter. And the poison (the band) is the cure. the cure is to come back. wash away the smoldering ruins and rebuild the message and the hope.

the fucking stars. the fucking stars. they're cured. there's hope again, we're not alone. they're cured. they got up. everything's okay.

the stars could be a lot of things metaphorically to be honest. it could also be their true legacy, hiding behind the rain and the storm but now they've cleared away some of the pain associated with the band from it's ending and now it can be remembered as what it should be.

god I need MCR5. sorry for this shitty rant it makes. no sense but. it's also nothing revolutionary just a lot of Thoughts I had that are better to rant about on Tumblr than to my friends who don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

#mcr #mcr5 #mcrauckland #lyric analysis #there has never been and there never will be another band like them #the foundations of decay

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Have you got any tips for avoiding misery porn when writing about darker subjects?

I mean, there's nothing, technically, wrong with writing misery porn if that's what you wanna write? Some people enjoy it. I'm not one of them, but it has its fans.

But anyway, misery porn specifically refers to the kind of story that's completely miserable but has no real gratification other than For The Misery. It doesn't serve a purpose. There's no meaning behind any of the suffering besides that some people like that.

So I feel like the way to avoid that is relatively simple: have the misery serve a narrative purpose.

Yeah, okay, that's not always the case in reality, but we're talking about fiction here.

BANANA FISH is something that covers a lot of very dark topics in very serious ways mostly, that I'd argue dissolves into Misery Porn in the later arcs. It didn't feel so much that way at first, but there is a certain point in reading 19 volumes where the stories start recapping the exact same kinds of developments and obstacles and the misery inflicted on Ash just starts to seem like Yoshida's torturing her little puppet instead of any of it...mattering.

Like, the entire Foxx arc...didn't really advance anything. Most of it was already covered with Blanca before that. I honestly thought they might cut it out of the anime 'cause why not. But damn if Yoshida didn't want to find yet another person to sexually abuse Ash for because.

And yet early on, even when Ash is forced to kill his best friend, it didn't feel so much like that, because there was a clear reason in the story and plot why something that horrific happened. It changed who Ash was as a person. It dramatically altered the narrative and what opportunities were available. Even Ash having to go back to Dino for a bit, in what is some of the nastiest parts of the series, don't feel like Misery Porn so much because we watch Ash completely breakdown in a new way we hadn't before. That wasn't a situation he was faced with before, and there were reasons from both him and other established characters how it ended up happening.

And then the ending is like, "literally none of this makes any sense with the character we'd been shown up to this point of like, even reality, it's just a miserable thing to have happen at the end because it's miserable. Does it match the themes and narrative? No. Fuck you. Be sad."

There's also a series that I have...sort of mixed feelings about because the subject matter is so dark but I do think it's terribly well-written called The Doctrine of Labyrinths. I do not think it dissolves in Misery Porn, despite it being 4 books that are each like 400-500 pages long of just the main character being subjected to the worst things that could possibly happen to a person. There's child sexual slavery, there's (like a lot) of rape, there's clocks that make you go insane, the main character starts having hallucinations and gets thrown in a Victorian-style asylum, a character suffers medical neglect and is permanently maimed for it, there's incest, there's--

Look.

The Doctrine of Labyrinths is a whole fucking lot.

But despite that, I never felt like the story was glorying in the characters' misery. It existed, it happened, but it was described in detail, but it was never described in a way that felt gratuitous. The focus wasn't on how miserable the characters were, it was on how horrific what was happening was, and it all tied into an extremely damaging, poisonous kind of environment the series was trying to show. It contributed.

#writing #tw: rape mention #tw: Banana Fish #tw: like so many things I'm sorry

[mmmcheetos]

I'M GIVING YOU YUXUE THEMED SONG RECS BECAUSE I'M BORED AND PROCRASTINATING, HOPE YOU ENJOY ftr, it's going to be a rollercoaster and, no, I don't have any normal sense in music

https://open.spotify.com/track/2GK5GiMNduq86tEjhn9GE7?si=8f77f71e5b844b1e - 1.0 yuxue, it would be a very 'eyesore' animatic, with dark grey background, neon blue + red for the outlines of the characters and I feel like neon pink for blood

https://open.spotify.com/track/5FFAqdNj7SAzVCOpPp3QZI?si=2155eb3684e84785 - idk i just think it could be really fucking funny with the notion that jyr is doing his damn best to be respectful and slow with his literary god of a boyfriend and lyx is just sitting there like 👁️👁️. Man, stop trying to be smooth, you're not good at it, just kiss the poor guy

https://open.spotify.com/track/6yZjEE1izAcgaGz29JkBTO?si=aa5b23e325814d9b - at first, i thought this song would be pretty lyx core, with the fact he was the 'villain' in 1.0 timeline, but then I realised jyr probably felt he was the villain after the whole "bad shixiong" apology thing, and yeah (I know, it's in Japanese, my bad)

https://open.spotify.com/track/40i81AcCCxiVEFUWElcjZC?si=0936a9eb0f954af5 - Just 1.0 yuxue being so, so destructive. they're tearing each other apart. they're clinically insane. they're going to drive each other to suicide and then they do.

https://open.spotify.com/track/4pY1okPrJvIPBQM0t4i28v?si=109862ff62484bae - "bruno? what happened to your good sense? I broke down, that man's good, I bet he works for the government" is so insanely 1.0 jyr during the mental breakdown arc trying to process everything and failllinnnggggg

https://open.spotify.com/track/7fd3aMiuwHWKsTdZafjOfZ?si=8fca1fc3a12445c8 - every now and then, 2.0 jyr will remember 1.0 lyx and he wonders if 2.0 is enough for him (he is, jyr is just an over thinker)

https://open.spotify.com/track/0BxE4FqsDD1Ot4YuBXwAPp?si=ff598991d8254f6f - i don't really know why it screams yuxue to me. I think it's the resignedness of the singer versus what seems to be quite an emotional and complicated lover. Works both ways. (however, it SERIOUSLY works with fx pov fengqing. Especially with Cheap Villain)

https://open.spotify.com/track/3EaJDYHA0KnX88JvDhL9oa?si=2a98f4b2148740be - Haha, 1.0 guoshi experiencing anagnorisis

https://open.spotify.com/track/34sOdxWu9FljH84UXdRwu1?si=7847f09483804bd1 - 1.0 Lyx/guoshi by extent, pretending how happy they are when, in reality, oml they just want to skin you alive

https://open.spotify.com/track/3vkCueOmm7xQDoJ17W1Pm3?si=d74a5034bf8847c7 - idk, just the chorus being 2.0 yuxue, with jyr reminding himself that he is safe now and that lyx is not the man he could've been

https://open.spotify.com/track/0qnzHn8plo9r10x69uFJYS?si=02e0907fc02949ac - 1.0 yuxue, particuarly jyr's POV as he stumbles through their violent and tragic understanding of the other. It's screwed by unreliable narrator, where a fight for lyx to stay alive seems, in jyr's eyes, like constant snubbing of his trauma (granted, lyx does but this situation is slightly different)

https://open.spotify.com/track/6XrTwqp0vMc2Z3m4ttoyRe?si=44b7ee7dbe4e409d - 2.0 disciple days, where jyr still despised lyx and kept trying to convince himself that this kindness and empathy that he caught glimpse of was a farce and, deep down, the man was a monster

I'm so sorry, this is so long. I'm bored and fixated, I apologise

🐉

it's okay bestie we are on tumblr no one has normal taste in music

why is masochism tango so good??? "I ache for the touch of your lips, dear/But much more for the touch of your whips, dear" is such a good line. also the neon pink blood is making think of danganronpa i'm sorry

lyx is suffering with respectful jyr lolol

40 METRE P???? i love him sm. also i think the idea of being assigned a villain role is very jyr

SARCASM??? bro why are you bringing out my favs this song was everything to me when i was 13. "you can be the corpse and i can be the killer" yeah...

"my mother says that i will surely go to hell" jyr my bby,,,,

mitski time !! also jyr sad boi hours :((((

i remember 505 !! i mean "hands around my neck" is very yuxue

"something bad is about to happen to me" "what if [he's] fine?" yeah,,,,

the screaming near the end before going back to that softer singing is so them fsfdjgfdjfgd

i love this kind of mood for them <3333 my love is mine, all mine,,,

every violent song suits them tbh,,,,also i love the way you describe that

oof that one's a really good fit, it's the way he can' let go of the past, bc maybe 2.0 lyx isn't the one who hurt him, but there's no way for jyr to know if 1.0 lyx will make a comeback

i loved listening to your recommendations !! and i love that you wanna share them with me ^.^

#ask ever

[hwascripts]

What Izuku would be like in a relationship: The positive traits, the toxic traits, his love language, my own personal headcanons and an overall conclusion

WC: unknown

TW// POTENTIAL SPOILERS, No smut but Izuku is aged up, Toxic traits aren’t necessarily toxic...more so just bad traits, Teeny tiny little bit of angst, I think that’s it!

Masterlist

Disclaimer: I am in no way claiming the following headcanons are true. You are 100% free to disagree with me but please DO NOT send me hateful comments or asks. I am simply writing what I think Deku would be like in a relationship

a/n: Just to let you know, your nickname for him is Zuku just so you don’t think I kept spelling his name wrong.

-Deku is literally the kindest soul ever and it makes me want to cry. He’d give you his umbrella if you ever forgot yours, he’d literally carry you to first aid if you ever injure yourself- this man will legitimately do everything for you

-He’s incredibly observant. If he catches you looking at a pretty ring then he’ll literally show up at your door days later with that very same ring in his hands

“I saw you looking at it a few days ago and I wanted to surprise you!”

“Zuku baby oh my god how much did you spend?!”

“You don’t need to worry about it sunshine”

I wholeheartedly believe Izuku would call you his sunshine or something along those lines

-I have this one headcanon of him drawing you all the time as an excuse to “observe you and your quirk” but it’s really just because he wants to admire the way you shine underneath the sun- and that’s how he came up with the name Sunshine for you

-Deku has a heart of gold oh my god, this guy cares so much about you it’s unreal. Imagine trying to hide the fact that you’ve been crying while on a phone call- mission failed because he heard your shaky voice and now he’s on your doorstep with your favourite hoodie of his and your favourite snacks

-His memory is insanely good, like it’s freaky how good it is. Like you mentioned to him ONCE that you liked a certain drink and now he pulls up to your dates with that drink all the time (not like I’d complain if Deku brought me my favourite drink)

-Just like Bakugou, Deku is incredibly smart and he literally always comes up with a solution. You could literally vent to him about a problem you’re having at work and he’s come up with at least 73 solutions within 6 hours

-He’s determined and hardworking. Again, he’s just like Bakugou in the sense that he’ll put his blood, sweat and tears into whatever he’s doing- no matter if it’s a serious high stake mission or something like planning your weekly date. The second he puts his mind to something, he makes sure to give it his all.

-Izuku is your own personal cheerleader, this dude will hype you up no matter what. Training after work? he’s cheering for you. You completed a really difficult task? you better believe he’s gonna pat you on the back for it.

-He’s very protective of you. Remember when the LOV attacked the training camp and he rushed to find Kota? yeah he’s 10x more protective of you.

-And it’s not because he thinks you’re weak and can’t defend yourself, it’s because he genuinely worries about you all the time and just wants to make sure your always safe

-He’s an inspirational person, he makes you hella motivated to do even the most boring chores around the house

-Deku isn’t afraid to show his emotions. Unlike Bakugou, he’s often seen showing his emotions. Deku said “toxic masculinity who?”. He definitely gives 0 fucks if someone sees him crying/upset because I feel like Pro-Hero Deku would stop the stupid mindset of “Hero’s can’t show their genuine emotions”

-Izuku is the type of person to analyze all his losses, figure out what he did wrong and then learn from it to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistake again. He’s the complete opposite of Bakugou who gets bitter over his losses due to his superiority complex.

-He’s so good at comforting you that it’s unbelievable. Deku gives the warmest hugs that make you feel so safe- you literally cannot change my mind about this

-You know those hugs where the other person lightly rubs your back and lightly sways side to side with you? Yeah those are the hugs that Deku gives (he’d definitely give you a sweet little kiss on the forehead/cheek)

“Sunshine come here, let me hold you while you let out all your frustrations. I’ve got you, nothing can hurt you while you’re here with me”

-Can you tell I want some comforting Izuku hugs? He wouldn’t let go of you until he put a smile back on your face and GAHH oh my god I need Izuku hugs

-As much as I hate to do this, it needs to be done 😔✊🏻

-Izuku is such an over thinker, this guy worries about EVERYTHING under the sun. Your eyes didnt crinkle when you smiled? he’ll think you’re upset with him. You gave him a side hug rather than a normal hug? he’ll think he did something wrong.

-He’s self aware that he overthinks things but he just can’t seem to stop his thoughts. No matter how many times you reassure him that you aren’t upset with him, he’s subconsciously thinking about how to make it up to you

-He constantly pushes himself past his limits. You guys saw how many times he’s broken his bones. Deku may be intelligent but when it comes to his own self he can be completely hopeless

-The amount of times you’ve scolded him while you clean up his scrapes and cuts is insane. He just sits on the toilet lid and bites his lip nervously while you wave your finger angrily at him

“Sunshine please, I said I was sorry and that it won’t happen again!”

“Zuku you and I both know that’s a damn lie, I’ve had to patch you up 3 times this week! When are you going to start being more considerate of your limits?”

-I’m sorry but I picture him being so nervous to initiate anything with you. This guy would be so fidgety just by THINKING about holding your hand

-And deep down he knows he’s being ridiculous because come on, you’re his S/O and he’s been dating you for years now- why does he still get shaken up just by holding your hand?

-At first you think it’s cute, he’s just being respectful of your boundaries- but as time goes on you kind of get a little annoyed because he always asks you a bunch of times if you’re okay with him being affectionate.

“Zuku...sweetheart you know you don’t need to ask me a million times if I want to cuddle, right? I love cuddling with you!”

*cue sweating* “I’ll keep that in mind, Sunshine”

-He eventually gets a lot more comfortable with affection...more often than not you wake up with him nuzzled into your side like a cat

(Side note PLEASE wake him up with a bunch of kisses, he’ll literally melt)

-He’s very insecure about his scars because they make him feel like he’s “ugly” and sometimes he doesn’t even want you to look at them

-Do me a favour and please kiss along his scars/ trace them with your fingers while you compliment him- he’ll start crying because the scars he thought made him ugly are now starting to look beautiful to him

-This isn’t necessarily a toxic trait, more like a bad habit. Whenever Izuku gets stressed he’ll train himself to the brink of exhaustion just so he can try to focus on something other than how stressed he is

-Again, not a toxic trait but a bad one...Deku puts everyone else before himself. Which isn’t a bad thing if it’s done in a healthy amount, but Izuku goes to the extreme. I feel like he’d neglect his own needs just to satisfy everyone else and you’d have to intervene before it gets worse

“Sunshine I said I was fine, you don’t need to worry about me! Your Zuku is perfectly energized and ready to go”

“Zuku don’t lie to me, you know I can read you like a book. You’re coming with me and I’m putting you to bed”

-I hate to say it but this guy hates confrontation so much that sometimes he’ll suffer in silence for MONTHS before he even hints at being upset with something

-I honestly think your biggest argument with him would be about his lack of communication in terms of him not being completely honest about how he feels and he just breaks down-

-Like he has a really bad breakdown because he’s been bottling everything up for so long because he hates the idea of fighting with you.

-And now he’s sobbing because he’s so frustrated that he doesn’t know what else to do

-Anyways, the two of you just silently comfort each other until you’ve both calmed down enough to talk properly. This is the night Izuku finally starts opening up to you rather than bottling up every negative emotion he feels

-I honestly think his love language is a mixture of giving you gifts and words of praise

-He’s a little shy when it comes to showing you how he feels through affection, so giving you gifts and his praise get his point across

-He’s totally the type to send you cute messages throughout the day, send cute selfies when he misses you, or he just sends you a random bouquet of flowers because he saw them and thought of you

-Also the type of guy to have photos of the two of you displayed around his office. His most prized one being the photo of your first mission together

-Just warning you now that if you ever mention that your suit ripped or a certain item isn’t functioning properly then he’ll literally buy 10 replacements- each one better than the last

“Zuku I said that the sole of my BOOT ripped off, not my entire suit!”

“Well now you have 10 new upgraded suits to make sure it won’t happen again! Isn’t it great, Sunshine?”

(Someone take his credit card away from him)

I definitely think Izuku would be an amazing S/O! He’s caring, kind and comforting- and he does his very best to try and work on the bad habits he has.

Overall, I would say Izuku definitely would win a “S/O of the year award” (sorry Bakugou)

#izuku midoria x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #deku x reader #deku angst #deku fluff #deku headcanons #my hero academia headcanons #bnha headcanons #bakugou angst #bakugou fluff #bakugou hcs #bakugou headcanons #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha deku x reader #mha deku x reader #todoroki fluff #todoroki angst #kirishima x reader #denki x reader #kirishima headcanon #denki headcanons #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki headcanons #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki x reader #bnha shinso x reader

[whaleofatjme1920]

Hey!! Could i request a full fic with toby and a fem s/o who has a breakdown and admits they have a gaslighting mom and dad and didnt want to tell anyone bc of the trauma and pressure to not say anything, i guess just lots of fluff, comfort, and a pissed toby, if its too specific or triggering pls ignore! Thank you! ❤️❤️

Just Outside of His Wrath

[Ticci Toby X GN!Reader]

[Warnings: mentions of emotional abuse, language]

[AN: Hi love bug, I know you've been waiting for this one for a while, and honestly I don't have the mental energy to write a whole 2.5K - 5K words for this. With everything going on in my life, I felt it better to push this out rather than make you wait any longer. I ended up just making a super short scenario that got right to the point. I hope that suffices. If not, feel free to blow up my inbox - it's deserved.]

Cold, you feel cold. It burns like the ice of the arctic, searing through your soul as you come to terms that what happened to you when you were younger wasn’t normal. That what happened to you when you were younger wasn’t okay.

It took him ages to finally get you to say it. Toby’s patience was unwavering, that much was certain, but even then it wore thin with how long he had to watch you suffer in silence. Small apologies, flinches, micro-movements that told him something had happened, hell, the constant questioning of whether what you said was true or not… It drove him up a wall because he knew you were hesitating and hurting and there was nothing he could do to help you until you opened up.

And when you finally did open up and tell him the nitty gritty of everything your parents had done to you, the emotional manipulation, the gas lighting, every little thing they’d ever made you feel in the form of trauma to be carried for years to come? Toby’s wrath was burning hotter than the sun, a star on the verse of death ready to create a supernova.

“They made me question every little thing,” you whispered as you lay sobbing in his arms one late night while in the backseat of a stolen car. “They made me feel like I was insane for even speaking.”

Toby’s brows furrowed as he brushed his fingers lovingly over your back in an attempt to soothe you as he briefly toyed with the ends of your lovely strands. “I’m s-s-so sorry,” he murmured as he pressed kisses to the top of your head.

You recoiled back into yourself, crystalline tears cascading down your cheeks. “I should have known,” you weep. “It was my fault for being so fucking ignorant and-”

Toby clenched his hold around you, his eyes sparking with fire. “Don’t you e-e-ever say that,” he hisses, derailing your train of thought instantly. “D-Don’t you ever, e-ever say that,” he repeated.

“Why?” You said through your tears, voice weak and frail. “It was all my fault for not noticing or speaking up-”

Toby growled under his breath, moving you from his chest. His eyes bored into you, dark and commanding as his hand reached up to hold your chin. “Look a-a-at me.”

You’ve never seen him so upset.

“What h-happened then w-w-was never your fault. Y-You were under t-t-the care of p-people you were s-supposed to trust t-them, and they b-b-betrayed you.” He wiped away the tears from your cheeks lovingly with his thumb before pressing his lips to the corners of your eyes. “N-Nothing was e-ever your f-fault.”

You looked up at him, glossy eyed and hazy. “But I-”

“B-But nothing,” he hushed you. “L-Let me t-t-take this f-from your s-shoulders, okay?” He murmured quietly, kisses planting on your face before pulling gently from the tip of your nose.

You took in a deep, shaky breath, briefly catching the storm in his eyes and nod.

#ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby scenario #ticci toby x y/n #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta scenario #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby headcanon

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, Vigilantes 64, Replies Part 2

1) “Yep, I knew this was coming. Off course he would say “yeah no” to a piece of advice like that. I’m already placing my bets that he’ll only internalize it once he screws up and Cloduy ends up Deady.”- Or he internalised the ‘fake it as a hero’ part right as Kumo caught the Stairway to Heaven in the midst of a life-or-death fight and didn’t even realise what he was really doing, because that would have meant processing his best friend was dead.

2) “That, my soon-to-be-dead friend, is called major anxiety disorder, and trust me, it ain’t a funny thing to have. Aizawa needs some help with that, and, unfortunately, it seems he’ll be getting it the worst way possible, if my tittle for you is any indication…”- Nothing like witnessing your friend’s brutal demise to give you the kick in the pants you need to start acting on your full potential- especially since there literally doesn’t seem to be anybody else capable of helping on the scene right now.

3) “FUCK’S SAKE I DIDN’T THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT FAST

I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE AROUND THE END OF THE CHAPTER, BUT NOPE, APPARENTLY WE ALREADY GOT ONE DOWN

SO HE GOT HIS HEAD FUCKING CRUSHED BY A ROCK, OKAY, SURE, THAT’S FINE, I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, I’LL HANDLE IT. HOLY FUCK, DID FURUHASHI ACTUALLY KILLED SOMEONE? I CAN’T BELIEVE IT”- Yep- and so fast and brutally that Aizawa still can’t process what just happened, making him Hallucinate his friend is still around and encouraging him to keep himself together mentally to protect the kids, rather than suffer a nervous breakdown in the heat of the moment and fail to protect lives in danger. He already knows what just happened, but he can’t bring himself to face the truth, so he hides himself in a comforting lie until the danger is over and he can accept his friend’s passing.

4) “DON’T WORRY AIZAWA, I’M SURE HE’S SAFE AND SOUND AND COMPLETELY UNHURT. HE JUST WANTED TO TAKE A NAP, AND THOSE ROCKS WERE REALLY WARM, THAT’S WHY HE DECIDED TO LIE UNDER THEM, OKAY? (:”- The inability to accept the truth leads Aizawa to accept that as the current outcome, rather than truly process that his friend is gone for good, because he just couldn’t handle the weight of that loss and beat Garvey by himself at the same time.

5) “…

Why did I get that… That shiver down my spine… that something horrible is going to happen? And I’m not talking about those dying, I’m talking about them somehow living after this. Now I’m truly scared.”- Nope, you’re good, but because Aizawa can’t see himself as the hero of this tale like he’s destined to be, he himself creates the illusion that Kumo’s still alive to give him to ‘magic feather’ confidence boost he needs to beat the villain.

6) “NO FUCKING WAY, THAT FUCEKR GOT HIS HEAD SMASHED IN BY A FALLING ROCK AND THEN GOT BURIED UNDER THE RUBBLE, HOW THE FUCK IS HE EVEN DOING THIS- HOW TH FUCK DID HE EEVN THREW THAT GOURD, THAT THING WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM WHEN HE GOT HIT”- Oh he didn’t throw the gourd- it was there all along, but Aizawa subconsciously noticed it and his mind-reframed the narrative to make it seem like it had been thrown towards him. He’s hallucinating his dead best friend’s voice, imagining hearing the sound of the gourd thrown towards him isn’t so different from that, and it helps him believe the imaginary voice he’s hearing is Kumo’s.

7) “YEAH AIZAWA, GUESS THAT THE VOICE OF YOUR BOYFRIEND WOULD SNAP YOU BACK TO REALITY, AS WELL AS THE INFINITE POWER OF FUCKING FURUHASHI, THE GODDAMN BASTARD DID IT ONCE AGAIN.

WHY AM I EVEN SURPRISED? WHY DO I EVEN THINK THAT HE’LL DO IT?”- Ironically, it’s actually the opposite- rather than face reality, Aizawa retreats into a delusion that his best friend’s still alive so he can handle the crises situation. It also gives a good of how broken Aizawa still is from that loss- he suffered an immediate mental breakdown and temporarily went insane to cope with losing his best friend so suddenly, and he’s clearly still suffering from the psychological scars that were inflicted on him.

8) “WE APPARENTLY WENT DOWN THE “CAREER-ENDING INJURY” PATH, WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT CONSIDERING THE SIZE OF THAT STONE THAT HIT HIM. YEAH YEAH, COMICBOOK LOGIC, SURE, THAT STONE SHOULD BE WEIGHING AROUND 100 KG THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY HE WOULD’VE SURVIVED THAT STRAIGHT TO HIS FACE, BUT LO AND BEHOLD, DESPAIR YE THAT STILL THINK THAT FURUHASHI WILL KILL AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER. “-It gives a bleak picture of Aizawa’s perception of his self-worth. Even when he finally starts listening to that inner voice that says ‘you can do it’ and such to give himself confidence, it comes through in Kumo’s voice, rather than his own. Aizawa is so fundamentally negative about himself and his ‘useless’ quirk that he cannot accept any inner voice from himself that tries to prop up his self-esteem and claim that he’s better than he thinks he is- he literally needs to hear those words coming from the one person he trusts in the world more than himself before he can even start to have a bit of faith in himself to start being a hero,

9) “THANK YOU AIZAWA, ALL IT TOOK WAS GOD GRANTING LIFE TO THAT IDIOT WITH THE PANCAKE FACE FOR YOU TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU’RE CAPABLE OF DOING.”- Well, more like himself imagining his friend’s still alive, but sometimes we all need that Magic Feather on us to take a leap of faith- and it’s not like it’s just Aizawa’s life on the line here either, if he can’t measure up right now those kids were dead, so he ‘needed’ Kumo to be alive, just for a little longer…

10) “Of course they would leave him alive, of course. Why wouldn’t they? How else would Aizawa snap out of his hesitation and stepped in on his role as hero if not for Cloudy to tell him to do it? How he even managed to throw that thing close to Aizawa is beyond me, it should’ve been crushed as well, and don’t even try to tell me that thing conveniently rolled towards Aizawa.”- He fully agrees with your points for an in-universe perspective- that’s why he had to pretend to himself that it was the truth, at least until he could beat Garvey and save those Kid’s lives. And it’s also the ‘real’ reason why Kumo had that radio on him in the first place- it goes well with using his quirk to obscure his opponent’s vision, but Aizawa needed an object he could convince himself he was hearing his best friend’s voice from in order to get the confidence needed to save the day.

11) “Shut up Cloudy, there’s no way you’re even seeing what’s going on for under that rubble. I know you’re trying to hype up your boyfriend but what he needs right now is not words of support, he needs a gun.”- Yep, no way he can possibly see what’s happening, but if you pay attention to what’s actually being said, you’ll realise that it’s not helpful strategy about how to beat Garvey, or even specific advice about how to use his abilities to fight back, but all-purse motivational words- the kind of words Aizawa would have been telling himself deep down the whole time, filtered through his trauma-broken brain to be coming from the one source of inspirational positivity Aizawa would actually listen to- not himself, but his absent best friend. In fact, he outright tells himself ‘you’re the only one who can protect everyone’- showing that he already knew, deep down, that Kumo was dead, but he was fighting through the denial as much as the pain throughout that fight.

12) “…

Oh- Oh this foreboding, oh there’s some shit that we’re gonna get to know about Aizawa’s past this arc, aren’t we? The arc opening with him already tells me that we’re gonna get some development for our favorite hobo…”- More like seeing what drives him to continue being a hero, even if he personally doesn’t really see himself as being worthy of the title, nor a natural for the role, but if his absent friend can’t do it anymore, then he’s got to, to save those who Shirakumo would have saved if he was still around.

13) “He isn’t talking about the cat. He’s definitely not talking about the cat. What the fuck- okay no, he’s still hung up on the nerve that Midnight struck, that’s for sure, there’s something bothering him a lot.”- Dead Childhood friends will get ya in the sore spot every time.

14) “And midnight is being the team mom of their little group of friends and honestly this is pretty nice to see; besides some… “quirks” of hers, she always behaves like the only rational, mature adult whenever Aizawa and Mic are involved”- Sadly, it seems that the reason for that is that the actual team mom already passed away, and Midnight’s doing her best to fill in the gap he left however she can, to help support her grieving friends at first, then it just became more natural over the years for her to be that way around them.

15) “Okay, now you’re starting to sound like a mom, more specifically the type that makes you go out and play with your siblings regardless of you wanting or not.”- I wonder if Aizawa is ever reminded of Shirakumo and the good old days whenever Midnight nags him like this to join in for his own good? I get the feeling that sometimes, what motivates him to do what she says is his sadness over Shirakumo’s passing and regrets, rather than any true altruism on his behalf.

16) “Makoto was granted the tittle of Team Mom, she better make sure to honor it, and take it seriously.”-  She’s not the only one who picked up the title, or the burden of having to carry the concerns and wellbeing of those who rely and trust upon you for guidance… Though given how Midnight turned out, I’d say Aizawa made a good choice not putting too much stock in her advice.

17) “I’m still curious to see, what could be that moves him, because the only thing I can think of at the moment that would make sense is a that he wants to protect- or that he’s looking for a chance to die protecting others.”- Guess we know now. He wants to help others like Shirakumo helped him- and if need be, die like he did in another’s place, like Aizawa feels he should have died back then instead of his best friend.

18) “Alright, time to get this show on the road boyoyos! We dive back into the world of vigilantes with the continuation of Aizawa’s arc and how his boyfriend tragically died when he was eaten by a giant cat monster. Horrible stuff really, really tragic. “- Crushed to death fighting a giant toad monster, but still. Guess Shirakumo wasn’t fated to have any happy ending with giant animal monster fights.

19) “Oh yeah, we’re continuing this alright. I get a bad feeling about this, another character with the mark of death, but this one I feel will be the one… And if we’re talking about work studies, oh boy… Ha ha… I’m terrified already (:”-Those never seem to turn out well for the students. You’d figure somebody would have noticed a pattern by now.

20) “Oh boy, time for the bully to show up and do something really fucked up, right? Yeah, okay, Furuhashi would kill the cat, that much I saw coming a mile way.

*deep breath*”- Well, not this cat, but the other metaphorical cat that Future Aizawa’s reminiscing on over his failure to save, yeah.  Poor Cloudy’s away to cat heaven now, to be piddled on by every stray in the skies. 21) “Aizawa doesn’t care, Mic even less, but this boy Cloudy here, oh my he’s into that, that’s for sure. Again, the fact that we never see Midnight talking about him seems a little… off… I would understand if they never met before, but apparently they did met.”- He’s a bunch of painful memories not only for Aizawa, but for Midnight and Mic as well- it’s just that they dealt with the pain differently than dour Aizawa, who still carries the raw wound with him even to the present day, and does his best to avoid dwelling on it too much whilst on the job. 22) “WAIT

HOLY SHIT HE GOT THE GOGGLES ALREADY?!

I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS GONNA WEAR THEM TO HONOR THE MEMORY OF- HOLY SHIT THE GOGGLES WERE GIVEN TO HIM GODDAMMIT I DIDN’T SAW THIS ONE COMING I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA GO THE TRAGIC ROUTE”- Oh, we still went the tragic route alright. Just, you know, had a few stops along the way to build up their importance.

23) “Yeah, “lend” him your goggles… It’s not like he’ll keep them as a tragic keepsake to honor your memory a decade later or anything- You know, I’m insisting so much on this theory, and I swear if this turns out to be the same thing that happened with CC, I’ll flip my shit into five different dimensions.”- Maybe not the ‘exact’ same goggle- Aizawa probably keeps the originals somewhere safe in his apartment whilst he uses the on-the job variant to fight crime, especially since the originals got smashed fighting Garvey- but the sentimentality is still there. 24) “That’s right, the Rain and Cloud combo there is here to stay- That is, unless Furuhashi finally got the guts to actually kill a character.

He has two options here, either he kills him, or I’ll kill him myself. Get ready for my self-insert showing up in the manga out of nowhere and just gunning him down in the middle of the street.”- Well, he’s dead and-literally- buried. Congratulations, Furuhashi called your bluff.

25) “And it seems like PRINCE also found that “smile” subpar, to say the least, but he’s happy enough by the simple fact that Aizawa is taking steps into working with that. Shame that, since Aizawa is definitely the least smiling person in the main series, not only will this not stick, but Aizawa probably refuses to really smile because of his experiences here, that being, losing his best friend in the line of fire.”- Well, it certainly didn’t help his mood any going forward, that’s for sure…

26) “Oh hell yeah, he gave them a compliment on their outstanding teamwork, and I bet my hat that Aizawa did smile upon hearing that, but we won’t get to see any of it…”- Smiles were always hard for Aizawa to pull off, and that just got harder for him after these events…

27) “The agency was never created, and in fact, not even Aizawa and Mic ended up working in the same agency.”- I don’t know if they ever actually joined an agency after this. Instead, it seems like the two of them worked as freelance solo heroes doing their own thing to help civilians, because if they’d ever joined any official agency besides one they’d made themselves, it’d be a constant reminder of their broken childhood dream.

28) “But goddammit those kids are so adorable together, they were such good friends… Now, even though they are still friends, the distance between Aizawa and both Mic and Midnight is noticeable, and once again I’m feeling like it was because the other element of their little group died.

This is now giving strong vibes of survivor’s guilt, and it’s already hurting before I even got confirmation of it”- It doesn’t help that they were all present at the scene of his death and unable to stop it, despite their best efforts.

29) “OH MY GOD WAS THAT A SMILE?

A GENUINE SMILE? FROM AIZAWA? WITCHCRAFT, ABSOLUTE WITCHCRAFT I TELL YOU!”- It probably was cursed, because everything goes to hell shortly after we see his first on-screen smile. Aizawa’s not allowed to have nice things in this manga

30) “Oh, that’s what th tittle was about… Now that you put those goggles, now that you protected your own eyes, you’re finally able to see the horizon in front of you. The endless sky is ever vaster than you expect, once you finally look up to it.

But, adding to the symbolism, as the good song once said:

You can see it clearly now, the rain is gone…”- Well, the rain’s never stopped pouring in Aizawa’s heart ever since that day…

31) “Yeah, I think we all know what’s about to happen now, aren’t we? I’ll be counting my victory, but I take no pride in being right this time… Time to see the goodbye, on Chapter 63: Decisive.”- Yeah, you were right, but you ended up doubting yourself at the last second there. Guess that fake-out with Captain Celebrity really blindsided you when Furuhashi played it straight in the next immediate arc, huh? @thelreads

#bnha vigilantes #bnha #my hero academia #thelreads #chapter replies #vigilantes 64

[sideblog-666-thousand]

Euronymous Interview in Decibel of Death, ‘87. English Translation. Ft. Euronymous’ depraved torture fantasies involving Coca-Cola.

‘Decibel of Death’ was a French fanzine from the 80s. It’s first issue was released in ‘86, and by the summer of ‘87, it switched over from French to English-language. This has been my favourite interview of Euronymous for a long time now, so I decided I’d translate it to English so that other, non-francophone, people could enjoy it too. This issue in particular is from February of ‘87, and was their fourth issue overall.

I’ll add a link to where you can find this, and other D.O.D scans, below. If anybody wants me to translate more French, or Russian, interviews, feel free to PM me.

Note: NDLR is the editor’s notes. Any commentary or context by me will be in bold and in parenthesis, so feel free to totally ignore it. If something is between “« »” it’s because it was already written in English to begin with.

Disclaimer: if some of the sentences sound like the energizer bunny is hooked on an iv rig full of pure meth, don’t blame me, I did my best. Take it up with Euronymous himself. Also, I’m not excusing Euronymous’ poor behaviour, I’m just saying his poor behaviour is kind of entertaining.

Without further ado...

D.O.D: And once again, here’s Norwegian Mayhem. If you remember, we presented them to you back in the May issue of D.O.D. Since then, they released a new demo titled “Death Crush”!! Because of this event, we decided to ask the guitarist of this rather sinister band a few questions.

D.O.D: Okay, there’s been more than a few line-up changes in Mayhem. Can you tell us what the current one is?

Euro: Alright, there’s me on guitars, Manheim on battery, Necro-butcher on drums, and our session vocalist, Maniac.

D.O.D:  And what is the medium age of the group?

Euro: We are all 18 years old.

D.O.D: How long has Mayhem been around for?

Euro: Mayhem has been around since August of ‘84 with this line-up, before that, I played in another shitty metal group that was also called Mayhem. The other members also played in a crappy band before we all met.

D.O.D: How would you describe your music?

Euro: Ah, well, it’s like a wall of sound played at extreme speed all mixed with the sound of a chainsaw!!

D.O.D: In your opinion, who are the biggest posers on this planet?

Euro: That definitely has to be the Swedish group ‘Europe’. «Fuck them!!» I hate this band!!

D.O.D: Ha ha, what would you like to do to make them suffer?

(This is the exact moment where the interviewers realize that Euronymous is literally fucking insane. The editor censors some of the things Euronymous says because he has a very vulgar manner of speaking, so, brace yourselves. To make it abundantly clear— I didn’t censor any of this, if it was me, I’d let him continue swearing ‘til next year if he wanted to. Take it up with D.O.D!)

Euro: First of all, I’d cut them and make them eat their own (bleep)!! Then, I’ll fuck them in the ass with an empty bottle of Coke, and if they’re still alive somehow, I’ll drown them in their own piss!! (NDLR: I’d do the same to a few guys in Germany and Switzerland!!) But all of this is reserved for their guitarist, drummer and bassist, I have a far crueler torture for their singer, for him, I’m simply going to break his mirror and steal his perfume!! Haaaaafuckinghah!!! (NDLR: ahahahaha, this is so much fun!!)

D.O.D: Okay, Euronymous, onto more serious topics, who composes the most in Mayhem?

Euro: It’s me and Necro, but sometimes Manheim comes up with good riffs, he actually wrote most of P.F.A (Pure Fucking Armageddon)

D.O.D: I believe thrashers reacted pretty well to your first demo, right?

Euro: Despite the zero sound of this demo. It's true that it's actually the hardcore thrashers that appreciated it, although it was the others hating it that gave us an enormous promotion like with 'Metal Forces'.

D.O.D: Has there been groups that have influenced you?

Euro: Of course, early Venom has really inspired us, although we don’t sound like them in any way. We’re also influenced by bands like Hellhammer and Sodom.

D.O.D: Mayhem is a common band name, what do you think of other Mayhem (such as NYC Mayhem, Mayhem (WC), Mayhem (Oregon))?

Euro: NYC Mayhem* are excellent, I adore them! (NDLR: me too!!) and they call themselves NYC Mayhem. But as for the other Mayhems, they stink, «fuckin’ shit»,  like the Mayhem that’s on Metal Massacre VI*, they really stink, their music isn’t destructive like ours is at all, they don’t deserve this name, I hate them!!

D.O.D: I heard you guys played a show, how did that go?

Euro: It was really «cool», it was at a small rock festival that had around 3-400 «discofucks» (NDLR: this is the censored translation) and when we went on stage with our first session vocalist “Messiah”, we broke a bass over their mouths!! We gave these idiots hell!! Ha ha!! (I’ll link the show he’s referring to below)

D.O.D: And how did your other gigs go?

Euro: For now this has been our only show!! And we don’t know how the crowds will react at the prospect of future gigs.

D.O.D: Fair. Since we’re talking about future gigs, what will those be like?

Euro: They’ll be full of occult things, we’ll play in complete darkness and there’ll be red blood spots, chandeliers, smoke, and pig heads on stakes, it’ll be totally thrashing!!

D.O.D: How’s the Norwegian thrash scene? It’s pretty dull, no?

Euro: Right now, «it sucks», there’s no audience, but it seems to be going in the right direction with bands like Vomit*, Septic Cunts, Decay Lust, and Flowers in The Dustbin.

D.O.D: And what kind of things are your lyrics about?

Euro: depravity, like tearing someone’s (bleep), eating worms, and all those fine things!!

D.O.D: What are your favourite bands?

Euro: Really hard question, there’s so many good bands coming out but I think the bands I like the most are old Venom, Deathchamber, Sodom, Necrophagia, Destruction, Death, Kreator, Poison. (No, not THAT Poison)

D.O.D: Do you ever listen to hardcore?

Euro: «Yeah» I like Chaotic Discord, Septic Death, UK Subs, and others. It hasn’t been that long since I went to see Disorder and it was awesome!!

D.O.D: Are you considering going on tour?

Euro: No, not exactly. But soon we’ll play at a Norwegian thrash festival. We’ll also play at a thrash festival in Copenhagen, and probably do a few shows with Kreator/Necrophagia in ‘87.

(No, this isn’t a typo on my end, it actually says ‘87. There’s two reasons why this might be the case. One, it could be an error on the part of the editor, who deserves an interview of his own, or two, it could be an error by Euronymous himself since the interview might have been conducted in January. Euronymous could have mixed the years up as one sometimes does. However, ‘Death Crush’, the demo, actually came out in March of ‘87. What the interviewer and Euronymous are referring to as ‘Death Crush’ is likely ‘Death Rehearsal’, which is exactly what it sounds like, and was taped back January of ‘87.)

D.O.D: I heard you guys are recording a new demo, is it ready?

Euro: We just entered the studio to record the second “Death Crush” demo, but at the moment, we only have three songs. I’m also unsure of whether or not we’ll have enough money to record anything else, and the vocals still haven’t been put to music!!

D.O.D: There’s some rumours that you guys were contacted by certain record labels, is this true?

Euro: It’s true, we got a letter from Axe killer records saying that they were interested in us but they never listened to our music and I also sent them our demo tape but I don’t believe we’ll be receiving any letters from them now!!

D.O.D: Do you have anything to add?

Euro: Of course, «fucking ARGHHHH!!»

There, that’s all :)

If you’re interested in some of the asterisks I put in, here they are in order of their appearances:

*Unlike most of the bands Euronymous named in this interview, NYC Mayhem (and later as Straight Ahead) never released more than a few demo. They were a straight edge band from, you guessed it, NYC— Queens to be exact. Despite never releasing a full album, their sound inspired some grindcore and death metal bands, notably Carcass. They were also straight edge, which makes Euronymous’ mental breakdown over the Mayhem that was on Metal Massacre very, very ironic. Especially considering he was pretty straight edge himself, especially back in 1987– outside of maybe smoking some pot.

Here is their 1985 demo, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t-3geR1JbY4

*Metal Massacre is a series of compilation albums starting in 1982, released by Metal Blade records. Typically, these were independent and unsigned bands. Some notable ones include Metallica on the first edition with ‘Hit the lights’. Slayer in ‘83 with ‘Aggressive Perfector’. The ‘84 edition had Voivod, Overkill, and Hellhammer.

The one which Euronymous is referring to, however, is the one from ‘85. Here it is, the timestamp is 14:19 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HqwfsLvLvuY

It’s really not that bad— certainly not worth the double exclamation points.

*If you don’t know who Vomit are, you must not know much about early Mayhem. They were another thrash band who shared rehearsal space with Mayhem. Torben Grue and Kittil Kittilsen (what a sad fucking name) were also ‘in’ Mayhem at some point. Kittil once shaved off his eyebrow, but I don’t know why. Here is a picture of the dork:

The show Euronymous is talking about: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mjay2Lmj9C8 yes, this is the show where Euronymous flashes his ass. I think it’s funny because he talks big but he seemed very hesitant to do it, and practically ducked backstage afterwards. Necro, on the other hand, was very proud to have broken his bass.

Well, that’s all I have. If you read this far, I hope you enjoyed the additional notes I left. Outside of a few more interviews of Mayhem, I also have a few obscure Emperor interviews that were posted to the internet in late 90s. There’s an especially funny one where Faust is allowed to interview Ihsahn and Samoth from prison. He’s sarcastic the entire time, refers to the readers as ‘morons’ and proclaims everyone should all die in a nuclear war with the same energy you cross yourself with. Overall, it’s a funny read. I also have one where he interviews Varg, and Euronymous (separately) for his own ‘zine back in the early 90s. Actually— I have A LOT of interviews of Faust for some reason, including two where he’s actually on camera. I might post them if I feel like it, or if somebody wants them. Is anyone here an especially big fan of Faust?

Last but not least, here is the link to the ‘zine:

http://france.metal.museum.free.fr/revues/fanzines/decibel_of_death/04/page_03.htm

#euronymous #mayhem #interview #black metal #true norwegian black metal #I typed this out so it’s mine #Euronymous interview #gee I really hope nobody else posted a translation of this because it took forever #can we make haaafuckinghah a thing?

[kar-krashew]

life could be a dream [AO3]

Alec navigates first dates, second dates, and general panic, while accidentally making a friend along the way. He's not sure how to feel about any of that, but it seems to be going okay.

Rated T for language and implied sexual content.

@arsenic-creator for you, my lovely ❤ This is an interlude, of sorts, between the Cars AU and the planned Cars 2 AU :D

Alec is ninety percent sure whoever came up with the concept of first dates was a sadist; who else would devise a concept so nerve-wracking and excruciating? Currently, he’s in a random hotel in Spiral Springs, aptly named as he’s spent the last hour spiraling into insanity as he tries to figure out what normal people wear on first dates with people like Magnus Bane. He can’t even call Izzy, because she’s off on some “important work trip” with Jace. (That basically means that they’re going to be mysterious and vague during phone calls the whole time— and that’s only if they answer. He knows better than to ask.)

Thus, Alec has two options: suffer, and show up to his first date with Magnus in his normal shitty worn-out jeans and shirt, or suffer more, and ask someone in town for help. Unfortunately, the only other people available to him are Raphael (Alec is pretty sure he’d be found dead the next morning if he asked Raphael about dating advice), Ragnor (the man dresses like a reclusive British hermit, Alec really doesn’t think asking him will help), and Simon.

Shit.

“Do I really need someone else’s help?” Alec asks his own reflection in the mirror, “I look fine, right? And it’s not like Simon’s got a better idea of how these dates work.”

He looks great, honestly! Probably. He’s fine, as long as he ignores the suspicious fraying of his collar and the faded white patches on his jeans, and okay, he lied, he does not look fine.

Also, Simon’s had like three pretty steady girlfriends already. The kid must be doing something right.

“Shit,” Alec groans again— out loud this time, for intended effect— before taking a deep breath and grabbing his phone.

Fine. If it takes talking to Simon, he’s going to talk to Simon. Besides, how bad could it be?

---

Really bad. Like, really fucking bad; Alec had forgotten how annoying Simon is, and he’s regretting this decision wholeheartedly now.

“No one’s really asked me for dating advice before, you know,” Simon says from where he’s rummaging through Alec’s suitcase, “And of the people I would expect to ask me, you’re, like, last on that list. Not in a bad way or anything, it’s just weird, you know?”

Alec does know. This is the third time Simon has said this.

“Sure, totally,” he grits out, watching Simon carelessly toss his neatly folded clothing onto the hotel bed. Alec is going to have to reorganize the whole case after this is over, because these sorts of things have systems and the kid is ruining it. This was definitely more trouble than it’s worth.

“Yep. Anyway, wow, I’m no expert, but you really don’t have a lot of options in here.” Simon whistles, pauses for a minute, then upends the entire suitcase onto the mattress before Alec can intercept. God, Alec’s going to strangle him. “That’s better! So, you seem to only have, like, one decent button-down, and those always look nice. Maybe pair it with a tighter pair of jeans? Your jacket would look nice with this, too, though I’d leave it out in this weather.” Simon tosses the articles of clothing towards Alec as he speaks, hitting Alec squarely in the face, but he’s already been distracted by something else before he can register the glare being sent his way.

“Okay,” he says after another moment, “Show me what you got.”

Alec’s skeptical, to be frank, but he decides to indulge Simon anyway, so he heads to the bathroom and tries on the outfit and—

Oh.

Simon’s really not bad at this thing. Izzy probably could’ve picked something a little more flattering, but this is way better than whatever Alec was wearing earlier; he didn’t even know he’d remembered to bring this shirt when he’d packed his bags.

“Hey, man, you look great!” Simon beams. “I wasn’t totally sure that would work out, but you look awesome! Magnus is going to love it.”

“Thanks, Lewis,” Alec replies, and he’s surprised to realize he means it. Simon’s grin stretches out wider, somehow, and Alec doesn’t even feel that annoyed.

(Oh no, does this mean he tolerates Simon now?)

“It’s gonna go great, Alec, don’t worry about it,” Simon responds, oblivious to Alec’s internal turmoil— Alec is seriously having a breakdown over the fact that Simon has somehow made it onto the short list of people Alec doesn’t want to punch on sight, because what the fuck does that say about Alec’s standards? His reputation is on the line. “Magnus has lived here for a while, which means I know him well enough to tell you that you make him really happy.” Alec stares at him blankly.

“I— That means a lot, actually,” he manages, then they both just kind of. . . stand there for a minute. Alec isn’t sure how to process the fact that they seem to be having a moment when he was preparing to initiate anti-Lewis measures just seconds ago, so it’s almost a relief when Simon ruins it with the next thing that comes out of his mouth.

“I feel like a proud mother sending her kid to prom. Do I need to give you a sex talk? No one actually gave me that speech when I was younger, but I did improv in highschool, so I could probably work something out.”

Scratch whatever he said earlier; Alec hates him.

---

The trauma Simon inflicts on him is almost completely worth it when Alec sees the way Magnus checks him out for a moment. The other’s standing outside the entrance to some obscure Chinese restaurant, smiling warmly and turning Alec’s knees to jello with his low-cut blue tunic and shimmery eyeliner (not helped by the fact that he has managed to find pants that are even tighter than his usual leather ones— Alec’s going to die of a heart attack before they can even enter the establishment).

“Hey,” he says, trying not to look stupidly overwhelmed at Magnus’s answering smile, “You, uh, you look amazing.”

“I could say the same, Alexander. This shirt is definitely doing you favors,” Magnus replies, and Alec blushes.

“Would it be completely unattractive if I admitted Simon picked it out for me?” he asks, half-serious, but Magnus just laughs, taking Alec’s hand in his own.

“Of course not. Remind me to thank him next time we meet.”

The rest of the night goes by in a blur: Alec’s sure that the restaurant and everything was amazing, but it’s hard to notice things like ambiance and food when one has a front row seat to the wonder that is the gentle tilt of Magnus’s mouth. He spends the night being regaled with far-fetched anecdotes in between shameless bouts of flirting and giggling, and it’s nice, it’s really nice; alone, away from cameras and parents, just the two of them tucked away in a cozy little corner booth together.

It’s kind of the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to him.

Maybe first dates, Alec thinks, lying in bed later that night, the taste of lip gloss still faint on his tongue, aren’t too bad after all.

---

“Oh my gosh, are you going on dates and making friends? I’m so proud, my baby brother is all grown up,” Izzy sniffs over the phone, “Do we need to talk about safe sex?”

“Why is that the conclusion everyone draws? Do I look that repressed?” Alec groans, thinking back to Simon’s earlier pursuit to educate him on the carnal pleasures of the world. He’d managed to cut the kid off after the first use of the word “penetrative,” but it had been enough to fuel his nightmares for a solid two days afterwards. “Also, I’m older than you.”

“Details,” Izzy dismisses. “Speaking of which, spill! How was it? I still can’t believe you ran off to Spiral Springs without telling anyone. Mom must be absolutely livid, I just wish I was there to see it.”

Alec rolls his eyes, even though she can’t see it over the phone— the sentiment is there, and that’s what matters. “You would be here to see it if you weren’t off doing lord-knows-what in god-knows-where every other week with Jace,” he replies.

“Import-export business, Alec,” Izzy says, “I’ve told you this.”

“Right, the same way you’ve told me you can cook without poisoning everyone. We both know it’s a load of bullshit.”

“We’re getting off topic!” his sister exclaims, which is Izzy-speak for “We’re not talking about this for another year or so,” as she artfully changes the subject. “I believe I asked for specifics about your date with Magnus, hermano. You are not getting out of this.”

Luckily for her, Alec is easily distracted by even the vaguest thought or mention of Magnus, because he’s a total fucking sap and Izzy knows exactly how to use it to her advantage. He would say he hates her, but, well: he’s thinking about Magnus now. That’s infinitely more important, obviously.

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he sighs. The exhale’s got this kind of pathetically lovesick quality to it, but he barrels on, praying Izzy won’t comment on it. “We ate, then he walked me back to the hotel and kissed me at the door before he left. It was amazing. God, Izzy, I like him so much.”

In a perfect, normal world, this would be an opportune time for Izzy to realize that Alec is kind of horribly vulnerable and honest when it comes to Magnus, and for her to be gentle and supportive about it. However, because normalcy is a pipe dream that Alec’s siblings are hellbent on crushing, he is treated instead to an inhumanly high-pitched squeal, followed by frantic shuffling before a voice that sounds suspiciously like Jace’s floods the phone speaker. Given that the most-definitely-Jace-voice is currently yelling something about condoms and endowment and the logistics of same-sex intercourse, Alec decides that hanging up is the appropriate course of action here.

(God, they’re the worst. He’s never going to talk to them again. Or at least, he’s not going to pick up their calls for the next week. Okay, maybe, like 3 days. Probably.)

Great, he thinks, mentally patting himself on the back. Now that that’s settled, he can get back to other matters, like fucking losing his mind because he had totally forgotten to ask Izzy how to plan a second date so he’s now screwed but he’s definitely not calling her back especially now that he knows Jace has her phone and that means he’s been left to his own resources to plan the perfect second date for Magnus and he’s going to have to do it all by himself and he’s going to fail spectacularly because he’s never had to do anything like this before and no one can help him unless—

Unless. . .

“Shit,” Alec says— out loud, for intended effect again, as a horrible flash of deja vu strikes him— which is how, minutes later, Simon ends up sprawled out on the hotel bed next to him at 4 pm on a Wednesday afternoon.

Alec should really start looking into better coping mechanisms before this becomes a problem.

“Okay, so the first thing about this is that you’re approaching it all wrong,” Simon says, sitting up to peer at Alec over his glasses. “Dates are about spending time together, not about being perfect, so don’t stress! What did you initially have in mind?”

That’s the issue: Alec didn’t have anything in mind, because when he had said that he’d organize the next date, he wasn’t exactly operating on full brain function. Impaired thought processes tend to be a common side effect around Magnus, now that Alec thinks about it— he should probably get that checked.

“I really have no clue,” Alec groans. “There’s so much that could go wrong! What if I take him somewhere that reminds him of his ex? Or I stumble and spill slushie all over his shoes and they’re brand new designer ones and he ends things with me on the spot? Or he hates the food there and realizes that my tastes are shit and he decides to cut his losses instead of being forced to eat shitty food everyday that he hangs out with me? Or—”

“Alec, jeez!” Simon interrupts. “Man, you’re kind of a mess about this, huh?”

Okay, rude. Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean it needs to be pointed out. Alec just groans louder, and lets his head fall heavily against the headboard. “I’m so fucked.”

Simon shakes his head, standing up to pose solemnly. “Don’t lose hope yet, young padawan! Come on, you gotta have something. What do you know he likes?” he says, and because Alec is a sucker when it comes to talking about Magnus (as established earlier), the tactic totally works.

“Okay, well,” he starts, “I know he likes expensive wines with names I can’t pronounce. He likes late nights and old classical music, but his ringtone changes every week to a different Britney Spears pop song. He’s kind of a horrible romantic, but I really like that about him. I. . . like a lot of things about him.”

Simon blinks for a moment, and Alec hurries to wipe the besotted smile that’s inevitably found its way onto his mouth. It’s too late, though— Simon’s already grinning back at him, looking too excited for his own good. “That’s so cheesy,” he coos, “But in, like, totally a good way, I promise.” He pats Alec’s shoulder, once, then stands up. “I think I have an idea of what would work. Any ideas in terms of the venue?”

“Oh,” Alec says after a moment. He’s still thinking about Magnus, which means he’s thinking about their previous meetings, which means he’s thinking about—

“Yeah,” he replies, “I have the perfect place in mind.”

---

“So, where are we headed?” Magnus asks. He’s beautiful like this, in the light of the passing streetlights, silver chains glinting like stars, silk tunic flowing like water, hair mussed from the wind. If Alec didn’t have a plan for this evening, he’d probably do something very dumb like slamming the breaks on the car and kissing him senseless. It’s not the first time he’s had the thought, not by a long shot.

Maybe he can fit that part later into the evening.

“You’ll see,” Alec replies, beaming a little at the pout it brings on Magnus’s— stupidly kissable— mouth. “It’s meant to be a surprise.”

“I don’t like surprises,” Magnus frowns, but he still leans forward as they pass by a familiar waterfall. Alec can see the moment he processes what that waterfall means, his face lighting up completely as he does so. “Are we going to the Dumont?”

Alec shrugs, trying to be mysterious, but he’s grinning too wide for it to mean anything but a yes. It’s fine; if ruining the surprise means that he gets to see Magnus’s bright smile an extra few moments earlier than planned, it’s totally worth it.

When they finally pull up next to the old sign, Magnus has already noticed the changes to the hotel. “Oh,” he gasps, stepping out of the car, “Alexander.”

Lights are strung up around the outdoor courtyard, with a singular table in the center, a candle and plates arranged across its surface. Simon’s standing there, dressed in a black dress shirt, grinning at the two of them as music plays softly from some unknown corner. It’s horribly cheesy and romantic, and, judging by the way Magnus is excitedly clutching Alec’s hand as they approach the table, it’s worked like a charm.

Alec could marry Simon after this; the kid’s a fucking genius.

“Good evening, sirs!” Simon grins, “Welcome to the Hotel Dumont. We’re so glad you could join us this evening.” He bows, pulling out a chair from behind him, and Magnus laughs delightedly.

“This is absolutely lovely!” he exclaims, settling down. “Did you come up with all this?”

Alec blushes, sitting down right beside him. “Well, Simon did most of the work,” he replies, and Simon shakes his head.

“He’s totally lying; he did, like, all of the decorations and set up, and most of the plan, too. I’m just glad to be of help, man.” He hands them menus, then steps back. “Alright, I’ll leave you two alone for a moment while you decide. Don’t do anything too scandalous!”

Alec rolls his eyes— because really, what could they get up to sitting like this?— but then Magnus places his hand on Alec’s thigh as he leans closer and okay, maybe there’s a lot they could get up to, and maybe Alec is now thinking about all those things in a setting he really should not be, and maybe he should’ve let Izzy give him that talk after all.

“Alexander,” Magnus smiles, leaning closer still, “All of this is amazing, I don’t know how to thank you enough.” He tilts his face up invitingly, and Alec’s helpless to the pull of it, pressing his lips against the other’s. It’s supposed to be just a light brush, but then Magnus shifts nearer and opens his mouth up a little further and fuck, Alec’s libido is suddenly making a desparate appearance in this very public locale. That’s an issue, probably. Whatever. He can’t really bring himself to care right now.

“Mm,” he hums between kisses, “we should really decide on what to eat— hm, before Simon comes back,” but then he chases after Magnus’s mouth right after saying it, so that undermines the message a little. Though no one can really say it’s his fault: kissing Magnus is temptation incarnate, and Alec is a weak, weak man.

They do, eventually, unfortunately, break apart, which is exactly when Simon finally shows up with some expensive drink that he’d sworn Magnus would like. It seems to fill the has-an-impossible-to-pronounce-name quota that Alec had mentioned earlier, so he’s rolling with it. He’s also rolling with the menu, because Alec had planned on pre-planned meals for this thing, so he has no clue where Simon had managed to get proper menus with a selection of food (though the Spanish-themed cuisine on the menu and the passive-aggressive text he receives the next day from Raphael might be able to explain that).

Simon’s left them and they’re finally finished with their courses when some even sappier song starts playing on the speakers, and Alec, being a total dork, stands up and invites Magnus to dance with him. Alec’s kind of shit at dancing, so he’s not sure why he does that, but they end up pressed against each other, swaying slowly, and he can’t even regret it, not even when Magnus laughs at him for stepping on his toes.

It’s perfect. Alec has no clue how he’s going to live up to this on future dates. He’s also, like, halfway to proposing on the spot.

“I reiterate my statement from earlier: this is absolutely lovely, Alexander,” Magnus murmurs after a while. His head’s pressed against Alec’s shoulder, so the words brush Alec’s ear softly as he speaks. “I have quite a bit of planning to do for our next date if this is the standard we’re setting already,” he teases.

“We could eat takeout on my couch while watching some boring regency-era movie and I’d still love it,” Alec replies bashfully, “I got a little nervous this time and went really big, but I promise you don’t have to go this hard to impress me.”

“And you thought you did?” Magnus asks. He pulls away slightly, looking Alec in the eyes. “Darling, the same goes for me. This is stunning, but I genuinely just like you and your company, and that takeout thing sounds more than enjoyable. Though we might have to revisit your opinion on regency-era movies.”

Alec grins. “Why, Mr. Bane, don’t tell me you enjoy watching such long-winded pieces of media, filled to the brim with such stuffy, superfluous dialogue?”

Magnus gasps, seemingly affronted. “How dare you!” he exclaims, “It’s about the drama, the yearning! I’m sure you just haven’t seen the right ones. Next time, I’m making you watch my entire collection.” Alec laughs in response, and it seems to soften something in Magnus’s eyes, because he pulls close again, tilting their foreheads together.

“You know, Mr. Lightwood,” he murmurs, “I’m not the sort of gentleman to invite someone into my home on only our second evening together, but I’m sure I could make an exception for someone of your stature, especially given the amount of time we’ve spent together outside of these official meetings.”

Oh fuck, this is really happening. “How scandalous, Mr. Bane,” Alec somehow manages, then Magnus is giggling and kissing him, and yeah, Alec is so on board with this plan. He’s even more on board with the plan when Magnus leads him to the car, and then leads him up the stairs to his loft.

He’s not even annoyed when he wakes up to Simon’s strangely supportive “Congrats on the sex!” text, because there’s a man lying against his chest who he thinks he could easily fall in love with, and literally nothing else matters right now. It’s him and Magnus against the world: everything else can wait.

(Alec replies to Simon with a single middle finger emoji. He likes the kid, but Simon doesn’t need to know that.)

(The Star Wars movie marathon the two of them end up doing a week later kind of gives it away anyway.)

#my writing #none of you follow me for my writing but i insist on posting it anyway #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #simon lewis #shadowhunters #malec fic

[jalapeno-princess]

Cyber Sex

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 5.6K

Genre: Fluffy ass smut 

Warning: Masturbation, fingering, dirty talk, cussing, breast play

Summary: Your boyfriend Mark is currently in Japan for a conference and seeing you wearing nothing but his shirt leads to fingering yourself to his commands.

A/N: Based on the song “Cyber Sex” by Doja Cat. I am so excited for their comeback, I’m broke as a fucking joke but it’s fine. I’m FINE. Happy reading.

I wanna touch on you You see me in my room Wish you were here right now All of the things I'd do I wanna get freaky on camera I love when we get freaky on camera

The word tired wasn’t even enough to describe exactly how you were feeling right now. You were exhausted beyond belief to say the least. Being a full time college student; majoring in both criminal justice and journalism on top of having a full time job at one of the most prestigious and reputable law firms in your state wasn’t the most ideal situation, but you made it work. Well, for the most part. 

Your mental health these days has been at an all time low; you were being overworked to the point where you were afraid you could suffer from either a mental breakdown or panic attack at the rate you were headed. Unfortunately, the only person who knew how to keep you from completely reaching the brink of insanity was currently thousands of miles away from you. Your boyfriend of over three years—Mark; was in Japan for a very important conference that the company he was working for sent him on in order to represent his department. 

Although he was the youngest in his career field; Mark knew exactly what to say and do to build partnerships and to gain the trust of many other company shareholders. Your boyfriend was quite the charmer; sometimes you did grow jealous when you’d observe how some of his colleagues and a few of his clients would look at him in such a way that you thought only you were allowed to. 

As much as you wanted to be upset with the women who were bold enough to ask him out even if they knew he was in a relationship, you couldn’t really blame them for finding him attractive and attempting to make a move on him. Mark was the definition of a sight for sore eyes. He was gorgeous and exceedingly handsome—however, Mark was way more than just a pretty face, a well-defined and extremely toned body and a deep, raspy voice that never failed to get you groveling at your knees. 

He was extremely kind and generous to every single person he’s ever met in his life. You always considered him to be somewhat of an angel; an ethereal being here on earth because there was no way someone who was both ridiculously breathtaking on the outside was just as wonderful on the inside. Sometimes, you felt as if he deserved better than you. From a very young age, you never thought much about yourself; you didn’t care all too much about the way you looked, you didn’t consider yourself smart, funny nor did you have any impressive talent. 

However, Mark never failed to make you feel as if you were the most beautiful creature he has ever laid his eyes on. He reminded you both physically and verbally on a daily basis that he loved you more than anyone and anything on this he’ll forsaken earth. You were his person, his soulmate—the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. You don’t know what it was that you did in your past life to be the lucky person to call him your boyfriend, but you would do it again and again if it meant having him in each and every lifetime. 

It was hard having to be away from him every now and then—especially on the days when you felt as if the entire world was against you for not doing anything right. Deep down, you knew you were doing the best you can but it was as if your best wasn’t good enough for other people. Since Mark was a day ahead but six hours behind, you were sure he had to be busy attending a convention or going over his notes to prepare for meetings he had mentioned to you a couple of times in the last week. 

As much as you wanted to call him just to hear his voice; even if it were just for a few minutes, you didn’t want to bother him. He had other things to worry about—the stress and frustration caused by your responsibilities would only worry him and you knew he didn’t need that. You made your way in to the bathroom and started getting ready to go to sleep. You wiped off any trace of makeup from your face, brushed your teeth and took off your clothes before throwing on one of Mark’s shirts. 

Right as you were about to throw yourself in to the comfort of your bed, you heard your phone sound off on the night stand and because you had a huge feeling it was Mark trying to get in touch with you, you practically flung yourself across the threshold and reached for your phone while flopping down on your sheets.

Babe: Hey, you didn’t let me know if you got home. Are you alright? Can we FaceTime? I miss seeing your pretty face so much. 11:27 P.M.

Whatever exhaustion you felt from earlier immediately disappeared; the want and need to talk to your boyfriend was far stronger than any amount of tiredness you felt. You got up and grabbed your laptop—preferring to look at him on a bigger screen since your vision wasn’t all that great from taking out your contacts. He was quick to answer before the first ring and you could feel your chest warm up at the sight of him. 

No matter what he wore, he always seemed to take your breath away. Whether it was a flannel and some skinny jeans or just a pair of grey sweats when the two of you would lounge around your shared apartment—a blush would always seem to rise on your cheeks just because he was so annoyingly attractive. However, seeing him in a suit; looking extremely classy with his hair pulled back so you could see the entirety of his handsome face made your stomach sore in the best way. God, why did he have to be thousands of miles away from you? 

“Baby!” You gave him a soft smile and sat up properly in order to get a better look at him. 

“Hey—are you right about to go in to a meeting or something? You look very handsome babe.” He gave you his infamous cheeky grin—one he always flashed whenever you would compliment him. Mark, even at the prime age of twenty-seven could still get so shy and flustered at the smallest little things. Especially whenever you would go in to detail about his charming features or how his cute little butt always looked good in a pair of slacks. 

He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment before biting his lip. You were soon growing envious at the thought of how many women got to see him looking like a Greek-God while in his element. Although you have only seen a few videos of the speeches he would give at conventions and conferences, you observed just how confident he was when it came to his craft. When it came to talking with other people—sometimes even when the two of you would go out to dinner with your parents, he was always so timid and soft spoken. 

Yet, he seemed to change in to a completely different person in environments where he was meant to persuade clients in to buying stocks with his company. You couldn’t help but find it cute whenever he would act flustered around you—especially because in the bedroom and behind close doors, he was the complete opposite of shy. 

“Oh—uh, thanks. I actually just came back from a luncheon. It was boring as hell and honestly I didn’t hear a thing anyone had to say, I was too busy thinking of you. God, I hate having to attend these fucking conferences—I mean I love traveling; it’s not like we can really go around anyway and even if we could, I’d use all my free time talking to you. I hate any moment spent without you baby. Tell me about your day; how was work? Did you finally take that exam you’ve been studying for these last two weeks—oh shit. I didn’t realize what time it was there, I’m sorry baby. You must be tired, I can call you back tomorrow—“ 

You waved your hand out at him signaling that it was okay. Even if you had to be up in less than five hours, you were perfectly fine with the idea of getting no sleep at all tonight if it meant talking to your favorite person until the sun rose. 

“It’s fine Mark. I miss you too—so much. I can always message my professor and tell her I’m sick if I’m not feeling up to attending class tomorrow. Work was work; tiring and frustrating as it always is and school is well—school. Nothing new. I want to hear about you though—“

“We’ll get to me later baby. It hurts knowing that you’re going through something—I’m sure there’s more to it that you’re not telling me. I hate that you suffer by yourself and it’s even harder when I’m away and I can’t hold you and tell you that everything is going to be okay. But it will be and you know why? Because you have me. I got you y/n. You know you can always run to me—confide in me. That’s what I’m here for. To help carry your burden with you. I’m sure you’re well aware that I want nothing more than to carry your problems in your place. I would do anything just to make you happy—I hope you know that. I probably don’t say it as often as I should, but fuck—I just want to give you the whole world; the entire universe because it’s what you deserve.” 

You could feel the tears brimming at your eyelids and if he was there with you, you would probably playfully shove him for making you cry with his sweet words before leaving chaste kisses all over his face. One thing you admired about your boyfriend, on top of the infinite amount of other things was his way with words. Mark preferred to show you through his actions rather than tell you with his words exactly what you meant to him but when he did speak up about his feelings, your heart would combust in to a million different pieces. 

He even wrote you a couple of letters filled with love and adoration because he wanted to remind you when he wasn’t around that you were all he could ever want and need for the rest of his life. The two of you talked for around half an hour until you found yourself re-positioning yourself when your leg got a cramp for sitting on it too long. You didn’t think anything of it, but as soon as you fixed yourself, you were quick to notice how Mark’s jaw was now clenched as he began grazing his teeth along his bottom lip. 

You’ve been with him long enough to know what his ministrations and movements meant; those two in particular usually meant that he was either uncomfortable or horny. But you didn’t understand how he could be either; he was fine just a few seconds ago—why was he looking as if he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. 

“Hey Mark, everything okay?”

“Is that my shirt?” 

You looked down at his black champion tee that was practically swallowing you whole, just like most of his clothes that you’d find yourself wearing every now and then. He never failed to rave about how sexy you looked in his clothes and sometimes he didn’t have the willpower to let it stay on you for all too long before ripping it off and showing you the effect that seeing you in any of his clothes would do for him. 

Your hair was a mess, there were bags under your eyes and your lips were chapped from not feeling the need to moisturize them; so you didn’t feel like you were at all ravishing or attractive in any way. Surely, seeing you in his shirt couldn’t be the reason why he was riled up all of a sudden—could it? 

“Oh, yeah. I was so exhausted I just grabbed the closest item of clothing near the sink. Is there something wrong? It smells good. Just like you—wait, is it dirty? Did you not wash it yet? I can go change—“

“No no—shit—can you lean back or something? I want to see you, full body.” 

You did as you were told and pushed your computer further away from where you were sitting before moving back just a little in order for him to get a better look at you. It wasn’t till you saw him gulp as a whimper fell from the back of his throat did you know exactly what was going on. 

“Mark—“

“Fuck—you look so fucking breathtaking Y/n—so damn sexy—don’t get me wrong, you always look so beautiful. But when you’re in one of my shirt it’s just—why the fuck am I in Japan right now this is bullshit.” 

A soft giggle fell from your lips; whenever Mark would get horny, that was when he was the most vocal about his emotions. He was extremely vulgar and his words were always so dirty; so naughty. It was funny listening to him talk on the phone to his boss or a couple of his colleagues knowing just how filthy and lewd he could be during your love making sessions. Your boyfriend was the definition of dominant. 

There were a few occasions where he would allow you to take charge—when you would dominate him, you would put all your effort and energy in to driving him to the brink of insanity. The older boy didn’t know what he preferred; edging you until you would beg for him to let you cum, or being tied up to the bed while you ride him at an exceedingly quickened pace. You could feel the warmth building in between your thighs at his words on top of the frustration that he wasn’t there to help you with the forming orgasm you were now completely aware of. 

“You know babe, now that you’ve mentioned it—I do feel pretty warm in here. Maybe I should take this off.” 

You decided to mess with him; knowing that he was probably suffering and trying to hide the fact that he was definitely hard as a rock right now. His shirt was gently thrown to the side of the bed and soon your breasts were on full display for him. Watching his jaw drop at the sight of your bare chest only made you want to continue putting on a show for him. Slowly, you brought your hands up and cupped both your breasts in your hands—massaging and kneading your mounds all but gently before bringing your nipples in between your fingers and twisting them. 

Breast play had to be one of your favorite forms of foreplay; specifically because Mark—well, the asshole was good at every single thing he did. Sports, cooking and baking, education, singing, cracking unsolved mysteries and blowing your mind in more ways than one. His fingers; they had to be the prettiest fingers you’ve ever seen on someone before and you weren’t being biased because he was your boyfriend. 

Mark had such long, skinny fingers and he knew exactly how to use them. His hands were almost double the size of yours—yet your hands fit perfectly together as if you were made for one another. Although you were very insecure about your body, no matter how many times Mark practically worshipped it and reminded you how he loved every single one of your body parts; especially your face, breasts, thighs and ass, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t confident in your boobs. Honestly, your breasts were one of the only parts that you genuinely liked about yourself. 

Sometimes, you would wear certain tops that showed enough cleavage to get a rise out of your boyfriend and every single time, you did. Mark looked as if his eyes were about to pop out of his head and you had to stifle back a few moans from how good it felt. No matter how much you were enjoying this; playing with yourself in front of your boyfriend, you knew it would feel so much better if he was the one doing it to you. 

“Fuck Y/n, you’re going to be the death of me. Shit—what I wouldn’t give to be the one fondling your pretty titties. Fuck—just wait till I get home princess. I’m gonna suck the shit out of them; you’re going to regret this. You’re so beautiful—I can’t get over how gorgeous you are. You’re really going to kill me.” You gave him a smirk and playfully brought your bottom lip in between your teeth. “Mmm—Mark—feels so good—“

“I bet it does baby—you look so ethereal—twisting your perky nipples like that. But I’m sure it doesn’t feel as nice as it would if it were me. Shit y/n—I want to titty fuck you so badly right now. I swear, it’s like your breasts get bigger whenever I’m away. Should I show you just how crazy you’re driving me right now?” 

You immediately nodded in agreement; the desire to see Mark’s cock was seeping through your veins. You didn’t care if you came off too eager or too excited; it’s been almost three weeks since you’ve seen your boyfriend and even longer since he was buried balls deep inside of you. Sex wasn’t a huge deal in your relationship—well, it was both yours and Mark’s favorite physical activity, but unlike other couples, you cared about other forms of intimacy just as much as you did making love. 

Mark was a huge fan of cuddling, spooning and holding hands. Your boyfriend was extremely clingy and overprotective whenever it came to you; but that was just apart of his nature. He wasted no time in yanking off his slacks; the outline of his cock was prominent against his grey briefs. You could feel your mouth water at the sight; to some people, penises were very ugly, but something about Mark’s always had you on your knees—begging for him to shove it down your throat. His girth was long and extremely thick. As soon as he took off his underwear, you suddenly stopped your movements and eagerly leaned forward to get a better look at him. 

“Someone’s excited.”

“That’s the understatement of the year. I could cum right now just at the sight of your tits alone. Fuck—you’re the one who caused this painful ass erection baby, I wish you were the one who would solve it.” He spit on his hand and brought the saliva down to the tip of his cock; he lubricated himself and you could feel your breath hitch when he let out a soft moan. 

“Babe—fuck Mark, there’s nothing more I want than to suck you off—“ If this were under different circumstances, you were sure he’d let out a snarky chuckle like he normally would every time you made it clear that you wanted to blow him; or if you wanted sex. You were always so soft spoken; so modest and you hardly ever were vocal when it came to voicing your desires. 

You were more of the type to mess around with him; gliding your hands gently along his thigh, palming him through his pants and even hovering over his lap; grinding yourself against his dick while leaving wet kisses against the juncture of his neck. Whether it was because you were extremely turned on or because it’s been a while since you and your boyfriend were intimate, but sometime came over you and you felt yourself wanting to take over of this cyber sex session.

“Mark—close your eyes baby. I want to take care of you. Pretend I’m there with you and do as I say. Grab the bottom of your cock; bring your thumb along the vein and slowly pump yourself.” 

Watching the veins on his neck grow made it adamant that he was enjoying your dominance and you used that to your advantage. He let out a very faint whine; you wouldn’t have heard it if you weren’t giving him your full attention and you were well aware that if you were to touch yourself, you’d be soaking at this point. 

“Circle your thumb around your tip, and graze the slit as gently as possible. God Mark—I’ll purchase a ticket to Tokyo right now just to wrap my mouth around your cock.” This earned you a mixture of a laugh and a cough and you found yourself laughing along with him. 

“Is that a promise? We can put this on pause and I’ll buy one for you; you don’t even need to pack a thing. All I need is you—keep talking like that and you’re going to lose your voice once I get home. I know I keep saying this, but it’s because it’s true and I can’t get over it—you’re so fucking sexy. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but just know that I love you; with every breath I take and every single beat of my heart. I love you more than I will ever be able to express to you in words. As much as I want to continue going in to depth about the love I have for you, you can’t be having all the fun here. Take off your underwear y/n—I can’t believe you’re wearing that one. How did I forget to take it with me? I remembered to sneak the matching bra in my suitcase—“

“So that’s where it went, I’ve been looking for it since you left—weirdo.”

“Hey, you have your kinks and I have mine. Now—take off your panty and do as I say.” 

With a quick roll of your eyes, you stripped yourself free of your red thong and flung it across of the room. It was probably a mess now with all your pieces of clothing lying around, but you didn’t care. There was a flame burning in your core that you wanted to hurry up and get around to reaching your release. This wasn’t the first time the two of you had sex over webcam; but you felt as if this time would be different from your past experiences. 

Not only did you miss your boyfriend terribly, but you’ve been daydreaming about the last time the two of you made love the night before he left and you could still feel the way his cock stretched out your walls. Your fingers absentmindedly made their way down to your entrance; you brought your index and your middle finger in your mouth and sucked on them before returning them back down to your folds. 

“Fuck—fuck, fuck—such a pretty little mouth and an even prettier pussy. Tell me baby—who does that pussy belong to? Tell me while you drag your digits along your core y/n.” 

You traced your fingers back and forth along your entrance; gathering some of your essence on your fingers and bringing them back to your mouth. During most of your sexual activities—Mark, whether it would be when he would finger you or when he would eat you out, would have you taste yourself so you were well aware why he was so addicted to the way your pussy tasted. 

Although you were a big fan of giving him blow jobs, Mark was a professional at giving head. He ate your pussy like it was a delicacy and he was very vocal about how pleasuring you brought him equal amounts of pleasure himself. Next to fucking your tits and ramming himself inside of you, he loved going down on you. On the days that work was extremely stressful, or your classes were bombarding you with too many assignments; Mark would take care of you—either making you dinner or ordering your favorite food, preparing you a bubble bath, and sucking the life out of your pussy in order to take your mind off of your many frustrations. 

You sucked your fingers dry of all your pre-cum and let out a loud pop before returning them back to their previous position. Multiple swears and wanton moans left Mark’s mouth as he continued to guide his hand back and forth along his cock all the while watching you shove your fingers inside of your cunt. It felt amazing; anytime the two of you were intimate—even on the days you were both exhausted beyond belief and just gave each other oral to both reach your highs, you could never get over the feeling of ecstasy and euphoria that came over you every time Mark would bring you to heaven with his tongue. 

It was in that moment that you realized the last time you kissed him was almost a month ago. If your schedule wasn’t so hectic, you probably would have went with your boyfriend. The two of you were like magnets; everywhere you went, people could expect Mark to follow no matter where it was. Most boyfriends would get bored having to wait outside while their girlfriends went shopping, but Mark would follow you around to each and every store; he even gave his opinion on what he thought would look good on you and what he would love to rip off of you. 

To your dismay, he would pay for everything even against your many complaints but like he said, he just wanted to make you happy. He felt bad that he had to travel all around the world a lot, so he felt like he wanted to buy you a couple of things to make up for being absent every so often. 

There were days your boyfriend contemplated on quitting his job and finding one that didn’t require him to leave all the time; but this job had amazing benefits and because he was still so young, yet had a position that most of his coworkers twenty years his senior haven’t even experienced before, he knew he wouldn’t be able to find a job even half as good as the one he had now. But he would give it all up and even work as a barista or a cashier in a grocery store if it meant being able to see you, kiss you, hold you and go to bed with you in his arms every single day. 

“Damnit y/n—ahhh—you’re such a goddess—my pretty petal—pump yourself harder baby. Faster—tell me how it feels. Grab your clit and twist it in between your fingers; I bet you’re like the Pacific Ocean right now. I’m sure you’re just as tight as you are wet baby. Keep going. Pretend it’s me; burying my long fingers in that tight cunt of yours. I can just picture how good you feel clenching around me. Flick your clit; ugh, I miss nibbling on it and taking it in between my teeth. I miss the way you would tighten your thighs around my head—and don’t even get me started on how much I miss whenever you would ride my face. I don’t think I can handle being away from you much longer y/n—it’s not even just because I miss fucking you—I mean I do—God do I miss railing the shit out of you—but I miss you. So much. I miss seeing your contagious smile that I’m sure could cure cancer, and your laugh that never fails to light up an entire room. I miss your lips and how they meld perfectly against mind. I miss looking at your beautiful eyes and the way you tell a story with them. I miss being the cause of the blush on your cheeks. I can’t wait to finally finish here and come back home to you. Just a couple more days baby then I’m all yours okay. Have I ever told you how grateful I am that you’re so patient? Thank you for waiting for me y/n—I—love you—“ 

You could feel tears brimming at the corner of your eyelids. Although you were just moments away from coming on your fingers, his words tugged on your heartstrings. Sure, he texted you every single day and told you that he would much rather be home with you; sat in between your legs and leaning his head against your chest while he played video games—but it was so heartwarming hearing him describe every single thing he missed about you. 

“I miss you too Mark—I would do anything for you. I’ll wait for however long you need me to my love. I love you—I hope you know that you’re the only good thing I’ve got going for me. I don’t care what happens in the future; I just really want you in it.” 

The two of you continued your movements; you quickened your pace; you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to your release. Your fingers felt so amazing being clenched by your velvety walls and you were actually doing really well with picturing that it was Mark fingering you. His movements were just as relentless and he even began fondling his balls. He tilted his head back and the sight made you whimper at how erotic it was. His neck; along with everything else on his body was long and you could still faintly see a couple of the love-bites you left on his collarbone. Before you knew it, you felt a sticky substance on your fingers and allowed yourself to come on your digits before releasing an embarrassingly loud moan. 

“Holy shit—that was so fucking hot. Suck your fingers for me baby—help me reach my release—shit, shit, shit—“ 

His semen squirted out in rapid spurts and you were upset that you weren’t able to feel him fill you up to the hilt with his warm, creamy liquid. His hair clung to his forehead as sweat dripped down the sides of his cheek. You were sure if you were to look in the mirror, your hair would be just as tousled and your cheeks would be flushed. 

The two of you spent a couple moments in comfortable silence; both coming down from your highs. He took a little while longer to come to his senses and you used this time to look at him in awe of just how breathtaking he was. This was a common occurrence right after the two of you finished your love making sessions; you would bask in each other’s presence and sometimes if you were still up for it, the two of you would talk until one of you would finally let sleep take over. Once you were both settled down, you gave him a soft smile and flopped on to the bed. 

“Honestly, I think I’m going to get a good nights rest now. Thank you baby, that was wonderful. I’m sure I would have came faster if it was your cock inside of me, but that was a good distraction nonetheless.” He beamed at you. 

“No, thank you. That was mind blowing as always y/n. I can’t wait until I have you in my arms—and on my cock. I love watching you as you cum—I wish you could see what I see, your expression when you reach your orgasm is so fucking tantalizing. I plan on having you the entire day when I come back home, so just be ready baby. Wait—you’re not going to bed naked are you—“

“Oh—I wasn’t planning to, but now that I know it’s probably going drive you insane—“

“You wouldn’t dare—fuck—just wait until I get my hands on you—“

You gave him a sultry smirk and began running your fingers in between the valley of your breasts. “Hmmm, I might just take the day off just to touch myself. Might even walk around the place naked. Too bad my boyfriend isn’t here to fuck me up against the balcony or up against the fridge—“ 

The growl that came from the back of his throat did not go unnoticed to you and you found the coil in your tummy tightening again. Only Mark Tuan could get you horny again minutes after getting you to come on your fingers. Even if he repeatedly called you sexy almost fifteen minutes ago; you felt like that word didn’t do him justice. 

“That’s it—I’m telling my supervisor I need to come home. Tonight. I’m gonna kiss the shit out of you then fuck the shit out of you.” 

You weren’t sure if he was just saying that in the heat of the moment, but you were soon growing excited at the thought of finally being wrapped in his embrace again. As much as you wanted to keep up the sexual banter; you came to the realization that Mark was only half naked. His dress shirt was soaked with sweat and his tie was flipped around the other way. He looked at you in confusion once you bursted in to a fit of laughter. 

“What’s so funny?”

“I hope you packed a few other dress shirts; you have cum stains all over the bottom.” He released a frustrated grunt before sticking his tongue out at you. 

“They’re all in my dirty laundry pile. I was planning on using this one for the rest of the week. See, even the more reason to come home tonight. I expect you on your hands and knees once I get home. As fun as it was watching you fuck yourself with your fingers through webcam, nothing compares to seeing the real thing in person. I think it’s time you go to bed, you’re going to need all the energy you can get for what I have in mind for the both of us. Sweet dreams baby, I’ll see you real soon.”

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark

[popculturebuffet]

Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?

When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through. 

If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut. 

So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina  lake is pretty neat. 

All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.

And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy. 

So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.

ON the train we run into michelle again...

Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person. 

Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL.  I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that. 

And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face. 

So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick. 

So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it. 

We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know. 

So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.

So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top. 

Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core. 

It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot. 

Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc. 

It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting. 

The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being 

It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.

This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme. 

So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out. 

Final Thoughts:  This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up

Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly. 

See you at the next rainbow

#green eggs and ham #guy am I #sam I am #dr seuss #netflix #animation #patreon