#but if you see something triggering PLEASE do not hesitate to reach out like this anon did | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ddollfface · 3 months

Text

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺!𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

Trigger Warnings; bad writing, lovesick behavior, reader is called 'my girl' multiple times, reader is described as more 'curvy' (in LoveSick!Bimbo's specifically), fluffy, nothing too bad. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Hey, I'm sorry I've been so absent recently, but that's just because of personal issues. And I'd also like to say that I'm not going to be the most active writer on the app, sooo um sorry 'bout that. I'm just not very motivated to really do anything, so yeah. I hope ya'll enjoy :)))

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝘼𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚

All of the Above. Any way he can show you affection, he will. Nothing is holding him back from hugging you, kissing you, or holding your hand. He has no fear. I mean, what are you going to do? Push him away? Yeah, right. And this is when his ego gets in the way. He can't comprehend why you wouldn't want to touch him, besides, he wants to touch you! He wants to love you, hold you, and protect you! Why wouldn't you want that?

He also enjoys buying you things. Whether it be a fancy dress, some makeup, paint, hell, it can even be a football or something! He doesn't judge (though he'd prefer you to be pliant, little you, someone he can protect). If you need something, whether it be for classes, a hobby, or anything of the sort, he'll pay for it! First date? Nope, don't even reach into your bag; he's got you! Want a coffee/tea/etc.? Babe, I better not see your card out right now. Who do you think I am? A bum? I take care of my girl.

He likes spending time with you, too. You're practically his best friend, after all! He likes to bring you to his practices, and games, wanting you to watch him. The majority of the time, whenever you're there, he'll purposefully show off, wanting you to know that he's husband material! He can protect you and your future children, don't worry! Just let him take care of you!

But he'll also come to any events you're a part of. Say you do theater, he's coming to every performance, the same if you do any performing art. If you do a sport (he'd be ecstatic btw), then he's coming to your practices, teaching different tips and tricks, and most importantly, he's giving you a "good luck kiss" (as he likes to call them). And if you're an artist or some sort, then he'll offer to be a model for you. He's not afraid to strip if it's for you. No matter how far you two are in the relationship, there's no hesitation in his voice when he looks at you, snarkily saying, C'mon sweets, paint me like I'm one of your French girls, yeah?

His affection doesn't stop there. I've dabbled in this concept before, but LoveSick!Athlete also loves to call you nicknames, and they're never-ending. He'll think of a new one for you every day! Honestly, it's interesting to see what he'll think of next. He has a wide variety and they span from how pretty you are, to your ass, and back to your sweet personality!

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙋𝙤𝙚𝙩

Gift Giving. LoveSick!Poet is far too nervous to talk to you. He'd shit himself if he ever called you something sweet like 'baby' or 'sweetheart', he thinks that his heart would implode. That's far too much for him. You're too much for him, too good to him, so he resorts to giving, giving, giving. He'll sneak you little poems he made about you, all flustered when you compliment his writing, how good he is. He'll get you a bouquet of flowers, all purple lilacs. LoveSick!Poet will go down to the nearest bakery, your favorite bakery, and leave you a small box of conchas, a sticky note stuck to the top of the box. It read 'I love your dress today, it looks beautiful on you :)'. He's so sweet, isn't he?

Quality Time. Similar to gift giving, it's a way for him to be affectionate without facing you. LoveSick!Poet doesn't have the best image of himself, finding your relationship with him to be a miracle, something to be worshiped, and admired. You want to go to the mall? Okay, he's on his way. Want to go out to eat? Where? When? He'll be there, but bare with him. He's not the most well-off man in New York, money's tight, right? And don't get him wrong, he feels bad. He'll constantly tell you so, going on about how he really wants to take care of you. And I'm sorry that I can't take you to the East Side, and we're stuck at the small cafe... I want to treat you, you really deserve the best, d-darling...

He just enjoys your presence overall, so any time he spends with you is a good time for him. LoveSick!Poet doesn't mind just sitting in silence, watching you do what you love. If you work at a cafe, restaurant, or anything of the sort, he'll show up to your work and just watch you do your thing. Depending on how you take his constant staring, he'll ask you for your number or how you're doing. He'll order something and have some, albeit awkward, small talk with you, wanting to know that you're doing well.

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝘽𝙞𝙢𝙗𝙤

Physical Affection. LoveSick!Bimbo is very, very, very affectionate with most people, but it's doubled whenever she's around you. Honestly, she can't help herself. She has to be touching you at some point. She just finds you to be so adorable! She wants to show her appreciation for you and your body! Of course, she'll always let you cop a feel, if you want.

She wants to have a hand on your thigh, intertwine your fingers, and even hug you. She'll always have her chest pressed against your arm, not matter you height. And believe me, she's a tall girl, but she doesn't seem to mind the stares you get from men and some women.

Verbal Affection. Not only is she physically affectionate, but she's also very sweet with her words. No matter what time of day it is, or where she is, she'll always be calling you some sweet name. She likes to compliment you and your body, making sure you're never feeling insecure. After all, she can't have her darling feeling bad about themselves when they look like that! You're always beautiful and she'll make sure you know it. She can't help but let compliments slip out, saying how your body is just so perfect! You're literally like my missing puzzle piece, babes! Like what would I do without ya' curves!!

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

Verbal Affection. Now, she's not complimenting you constantly (like LoveSick!Athlete and LoveSick!Bimbo), but she does give you affirmations. If you did well on a test, then she'll tell you how you're so smart. I'm just so lucky I got stuck with a sweet girl like you. You make me so proud.

She'll never hold back saying 'I love you', nope, never. She's very caring in that sense, seeing as you've been friends for so long. She knows what you like, after watching you and your exes interact. LoveSick!Friend isn't afraid to pat your head and kiss you on the cheek, but it's not her go-to, y'know? So she always falls back on giving you assurance, that way you'll never doubt yourself. You're doing so great, babe. Just keep doing what you're doing, I'm here to help.

Acts of Service. LoveSick!Friend washes the dishes, does the laundry, and cooks the dinners. If you're ever feeling under the weather, then she'll become your little servant, always at your beck and call. She just wants you to be taken care of. She wants you to know that she's always going to be there for you, and you don't need some man to be here. All you need is her, so you should just delete that dating app, no?

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩

Verbal Affection. LoveSick!Artist is sweet with his words, knowing just what to say to get you all flustered and embarrassed. His voice is deep, soft, and comforting. He'll give you reassurance and soft words, speaking softly to you. He doesn't call you pet names too often, though he'll sometimes pull out 'sweets' or 'baby' if he's feeling extra nice that day. Most of the time, he prefers to use your name, finding it to be comforting. He likes your name, pleased by how the syllables roll off his tongue. It's the name for you, he prefers that you use his given name, instead of 'babe' or 'bubba'. It makes him feel closer to you and he'll tell you that. He'll go on about how, y'know, you're voice is real sweet, just prefer hearin' ya' say my name all the time. Makes a guy all giddy inside.

Gift giving. He likes to draw you, a lot. Whenever you pop into his mind, which is every waking second, he'll draw you, having to express his thoughts somehow. Sometimes, he'll have you right in front of him, modeling for him.

He likes to give you these drawings, well, only the PG ones. After all, he doesn't think you'd be able to handle it, getting too flustered and overwhelmed by how detailed he can get. But that's not the point, the point is that he likes to draw you, and for you. He draws the world around him and then gives it to you, wanting to share his talent with you. And you're always excited about it, enjoying your boy/friend's (depending on the timeline) talent.

Quality Time. Listen, LoveSick!Artist is very monotone, preferring to be calm, and by himself. He doesn't like parties, being in big groups, or loud music. He just wants to be with his close friends, you. It doesn't have to be a shared activity, where the two of you are talking. Actually, he prefers to do his own thing, and you do yours, just the both of you enjoying each other's presence. He'll be painting and you'll be doing homework, cleaning, reading, writing, whatever. He doesn't care too much.

It's like that one friend, the one where you can not talk for months and months, but when you two reunite, you're acting as if nothing changed. That's exactly how he treats your relationship. He doesn't need to be with you 24/7, if anything, he prefers to have some alone time.

Now, for this last part, I'm not too sure what category this would be under, but LoveSick!Artist is quite built, meaning he works out a lot. He's very strong. And he gives off scary dog privileges, much to your content. He enjoys protecting you, holding you close, and making sure no man is giving you any funny looks.

I think that may be described as physical affection, but it still doesn't feel right to me. LoveSick!Artist isn't necessarily the most touchy person, seeing as he likes to keep to himself, but that won't stop him from getting possessive. He's very, very, very aggressive towards other men, especially when you're involved. He already doesn't trust men, but when he sees the way they look at you, it causes him to spiral. Out of all my LoveSick!Characters, I think that LoveSick!Artist is the most likely to kill in your name. C'mon don't be like that, did ya' see how he was looking at you? Like a piece of meat, is what.

183 notes · View notes

ctheathy · 2 months

Note

hi omg would you be able to do a smut nine x reader hcs??? i love how u tend to make the reader dominant, i'd love if in these hcs nine is suchhh a sub but tries to deny it and act dominant when really he so isn't... by smut it can range from heavy making out/suggestive to full on smut idm, whatever u can think of :3 (if ur gonna do full on nsfw can nine eat out the reader pls pls (afab reader)) tysmmm !!!!

Nine NSFW Headcanons

Nine x Reader

Suggestive+NSFW Headcanons

Short Concept

Author's note: pfft- Nine would be making sounds that haven’t even been discovered by science yet

Nine/Reader [Romantic]

[Gender-neutral Darling|Female Darling|Male Darling]

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Both reader+character are of legal age or aged-up for obvious reasons in this post!

These are smut headcanons, read at own risk. dom!Reader+sub!Nine • Partly !Female!Reader • 1/2 eating his darling out [Fem!reader] • Breast foreplay • Marking • Biting/nipping • Drooling/Salivating • 2/2 making out session [Gender-neutral!reader] • Gagging • You basically shove your tongue down his throat

- ½ Nine eating you out

I honestly just enjoy the idea that Nine is already quick to get hormonal and in the mood. But he gets in heat especially quick when you get a little too whiny and pouty. I just imagine you whimpering for one single time and his whole body would tense up, pressing his legs together and biting away at him bottom lip to the point it almost splits. Trying to keep himself from getting ...hard from something as simple as a subtle mewl. He is so weak towards you, your emotions and the way that you feel to the point any sense of self control can go out of the window. When you're showing signs of being turned on and when he can quite literally smell your arousal, he's gonna have to fight tooth and nail to not get aroused himself.

This is certainly not something that would have too much of an improbability of happening. As you see, the thing about Nine is that he can already be quite lustful in general due to his bottled up frustrations. Now add on several years of isolation from other creatures and you have a boy who hasn't satisfied his primal urges and inner desires for literal ages. But you can make all his anger, frustration and self-hatred turn into a desperate need and craving for you. You could enjoy taking away any sort of dignity and prideful nature that he has left when the intimacy gets to that point, before giving some of it back through your praise after the ordeal. You'd absolutely know him and his vulnerable spots good enough for you to really set him off, because at the end of the day, you'd always have him begging for more.

You could start off a bit simpler before allowing him to eat you out like that, but still feed into his uncontrollable horniness for you. You can begin with giving Nine the opportunity to touch your chest with his mouth, something despite with his shy embarrassment and hesitance, it being something he just couldn't say no to. You could just sit there and lean back all smugly, while Nine's on his paws and knees infront of you, shivering and head hanging down as he shakily reaches out to one of your breasts, fighting his dripping arousal from staring at your bare and exposed chest alone.

But that's a point of no return ...and to take it to the next level. After that heck of a fest Nine had with drooling all over your boobies, he'd definitely be more open and quick to agree to foreplay that includes him pleasing you in some manner, because ultimately, it really pleases him as well. Not only because your body shape and appearance triggers something inside of him, but because you trust him with your body. And that's how you two got to oral fixation, something Nine would want to think about it for a little while. I mean. HIS mouth?? DOWN there??? Though he would be lying if he wasn't intrigued by the idea. The way you excitedly spoke about it in detail got him excited too... And so, he would cave within under a week at max. Even with his denial, he would absolutely be the most eager in the ENTIRE world for that little taste of your bottom half and he would absolutely make sure that he wouldn’t let you down and leave you unsatisfied under any circumstance

And as soon as he gets one of the tips in his mouth, he could start to feel himself melt. It's just the softest and most squishy flesh he's ever felt in his life. His mouth would start watering the longer your breast is inside of him, and his saliva would slowly begin to seep all over your skin. He'd have his self-control at first, but it wouldn't take long before he'd needily start licking his drool over every inch of your chest as if trying to mark it. He'd be all over you and goes completely feral as soon as he feels your nipple hardening against his moist tongue, as he'd let out a soft moan while feeling that change in texture. Nine's tongue would just swirling around your chest, with his body shivering and trembling with every lick and swirl. He’d glance up at you with those pleading puppy-dog eyes for approval while you just look down at him with such a cheeky grin.

Nine would absolutely be reaching for your fluids like it’s a bottle of fresh water in the middle of the Sahara, he’s never wanted to try anything more in his whole life than he wants to have your sweet nectar right now. He would become so desperate and overstimulated that every second he’s away from it would seem like an eternity... and he'd just want the volcano to erupt in his mouth. If you could easily control yourself and just not let your climax happen. No matter if it's for the sake of teasing him or just having the self-control, this would only drive Nine further into going berserk. His entire existence would become centered around having that release in him one day, tasting you like you're the last meal on Mobius.

Nine would desperately try to keep his calm and pretend that he wouldn’t absolutely go crazy if he actually had a taste. He’d absolutely be in a huge need for more of you and it’d be such a spectacle. His face all red with him basically panting over you. And as soon as he'd even start, Nine wouldn’t be able to focus on any single thing at all. His senses would be completely overwhelmed from everything that’s going on because he’s not used to this kind of stuff at all. Even as he's the one eating you out, his own junk cannot help but keep pulsing as he continues doing it. He'd get a bit impatient and would really want more attention to be brought to his privates, so he might just start touching himself in the duration of the moment... which would definitely make him more vocal, even with his tongue in your folds. You could look down with amusement as he plays with himself, all while his needy moans begin echoing through the entrance of your body.

But Nine always seems to remain on high alert on what's happening to you physically. If you just so happened to let out any grunts or moaning noises, those sounds would go straight to in-between his legs. Any noise that indicates that you're enjoying yourself would definitely keep him going... Even if you're just breathing funnily, he'd get an adrenaline boost that motivates him to become more sensual with the movements of his tongue, getting more desperate to make sure to never fail you in this matter.

Though if you were the type to start squirming all over the place with his mouth still on you. Or if you were to rock your hips back and forth into his tongue, that's when he would just crumble and lose it. You'd just be using his tongue to make yourself feel good, something that turns him on so much more than he'd ever believe it would. His body would be going haywire and he would start gently biting and nipping on your most sensitive nerves to try and get even more of your juices, his tongue would be doing absolutely everything that it possibly could because he’s never been this aroused in his entire life. It would be a scenario that he will absolutely never get over and which he'd be utterly desperate to experience once again.

- Making out sessions

The thing about all of this that's the most exciting is just how absolutely convinced Nine is in his disliking towards being so vulnerable and in a submissive position, and yet he would be so incredibly needy for more. Even if there are moments where he doesn't enjoy being under your command, he would be begging you to continue, begging you to kiss him deeper, to go further than he's ever been, all for you. He must feel intimidated by how submissive he is around you, he must feel intimidated by how vulnerable you makes him feel, but he just can't stop, just can't stop wanting more of you and your sweet tongue.

The kisses that you give Nine is certainly something that manages to keep his on his toes. Though your pecks are as innocent and sloppy as it can be, every very time your mouth is on his, you manage to take control and shatter his mind little by little through the heat of the moment. You're always so teasing... pulling out and taking it back as soon as Nine is shown enjoying himself, keeping him so needy and so utterly horny for more while you feed him these little crumbs. As soon as you're slowly pressing your tongue to the back of his throat, you should purposely roll up your tongue as it's sliding down the back of his mouth. You'd have Nine gag at times with ease while his eyes keep rolling back with just how overstimulated he's getting. And with how teasing and playful you're being through the kiss, there's no way he'd be capable of keeping in his loud, pleading moans. He'd love the sensations so much but would feel so shameful for enjoying it as much as he does.

But at that point he would 100% be loudly begging for you. Crying out for more and more, for you to keep using your tongue on him because his brain is too overwhelmed with the intense pleasure he’s receiving to even really think about anything else other than how amazing it feels. I can picture him crying and sobbing, maybe even begging with you to take him to your room. He would become obsessed with that tongue of yours if you just kept it going for long enough.

He would have no choice in the matter, you would absolutely force him to look you right in the eyes as his vision blurred and his whole body trembled in a way he never thought possible. It would be so intense he'd think he was having a seizure. He would still find a way to keep trying to lock his eyes on yours to contain some sense of dominance, but his head would just be going back and forth, his tongue desperately reaching for yours whenever you pull back, needy to taste you again with his eyes rolling back and trying his absolute hardest to not explode. He couldn’t last much longer at that point, his body eager to betray him and his mouth and tongue would be yours further upon that point.

ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤

The poor bastard would look like he’s being electrocuted, the moment he’d try to maintain eye contact he’d just go cross eyed. He’d be completely and utterly broken at this point. As soon as you release him and let go, he’d be a puddle on the ground with his mouth wide open and eyes rolled, just mumbling absolute nonsense while you gaze down at him. A lovestruck, heart-filled look in his eyes as soon as he manages to get back to Earth Mobius. I’d be genuinely surprised if he could even recognize his own name at that point because he’s just been reduced to a drooling puppy who wants to satisfy you.

Something you'll have to make sure he keeps doing with his bratty bottom energy

#sonic x reader #sonic the hedgehog x reader #tails x reader #sonic the hedgehog #miles nine prower #sonic prime nine #tails nine #nine tails #nine the fox #nine x reader #sonic smut #nine sonic prime #nine smut #tails smut #sonic prime nine x reader #sonic prime x reader #nine x reader smut

114 notes · View notes

lovelyiida · 4 months

Text

OFF ➤ EJIRO KIRISHIMA X FEM! READER 🜚

“why are you wearing that fugly hat?“

➜ masterlist

➜ tag form

➜ words: 1.3K

➜ WARNINGS: mention of boobs, insecurities, unhealthy awareness of self-image, fluff

You were frustrated.

"Have you guys seen Ejiro?" you asked, your breath staggered as you tried to catch it. You had been searching the school for him for the past 30 minutes with no luck.

"How are we supposed to know where your man is?" said Monoma. It was true; you were standing inside class 1-B's room during lunch break.

"Just asking, if you see him, please tell him I've been looking for him!" you yelled out as you rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind you.

Corridor? No.

Lunchroom? Nope.

Boys locker room? Not worth it.

Practice area? Nada.

Huffing out a breath, you staggered into class 1-A and collapsed in your seat. Placing your head down, you let out a frustrated groan.

"What's the matter with you?" Sero chuckled in curiosity. Snapping your head up, you sent him a death glare before he raised his hands in defense with a smirk.

"Are you gonna tell me or what?" he questioned.

"I'm looking for Ejiro! It's like he's not even in this school. Did he go missing, and you guys are all in on it?" you accused Sero with a frown. Sero scratched the back of his head in confusion at your outlandish accusation.

"Nah, but I might have a clue where he went—"

"Where?" you yelled.

Sero flinched at your words before delving his hands deep into his pockets. "Well, y'know, we were in class and chatting it up. Next thing he knows, he's looking up into space and starts freaking out. Like he saw a ghost or something."

You furrowed your brows at his words. That doesn't sound like something Ejiro would ever do.

"Well, where is he?" Your voice softened as you became concerned. Anxiety started to fill your chest as you began to think of the worst.

Was he hit with some quirk?

Did he see a threat no one else could?

Did he go crazy due to consuming today's mystery meat special at lunch?

"He said he needed to go back to the dorms and didn't tell us why… he just ran off," he said nonchalantly.

"Dorms… why didn't I think of that?"

Packing up your things, you asked Sero to tell Aizawa you were excusing yourself from class. As you took your leave, you traversed back to the 1-A dorms.

Entering the dorms, you plopped your things down on the floor and walked toward Ejiro's dorm. As you enter Ejiro's dorm, you find the door slightly ajar. Your worry heightened, and you pushed the door open gently. The room was dimly lit, and Ejiro was sitting on his bed, staring blankly into space.

"Ejiro, what happened?" you asked, concern lacing your voice. He didn't respond immediately, but after a moment, he turned to look at you with a distant expression.

"I... I don't know. Something's not right," he mumbled, his usual upbeat demeanor replaced by a sense of unease.

Sitting beside him, you tried to make sense of the situation. "Did something trigger this? Did you see or experience something unusual?"

But all your questions dissipated when you looked up…

"Why are you wearing that fugly hat?" Your face contorted into a grimace as you gazed at the fleeced children's All Might hat.

Ejiro hesitated before speaking, pulling the hat down even lower than before. "If I show you, you have to promise me that you won't laugh." As he spoke, it became clear that whatever he had witnessed had deeply unsettled him. His gaze was haunted, and you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to the story.

"Ejiro…" you trailed, growing increasingly worried. You shuffled closer to him, placing a warm hand on his knee as you looked into his eyes.

"I promise."

Ejiro looked at you with a quivering lip. "Okay." His hands trembled as he reached for the childish hat. You watched as tears began to streak down his face as he ripped off the hat. Blinking at the sight before you, you furrowed your brows. "Ejiro… baby, what am I supposed to be looking at?" you asked.

"You can't see?" Ejiro soon rises from his bed, flicking on the lights in his room. Walking back over, he plops back down in his seat and draws closer to you. Pulling at his locks, he earnestly implores you to inspect his hair. Leaning in closer, your eyes shift around, still confused.

"I—I don't see anything, babe," you stammer. As you shift back upward, a perplexed expression clouds your features. You begin to wonder if your boyfriend is truly going crazy. The redhead scoffs, frustration etched across his face, as he grabs his phone and clicks on his flashlight. "See? Right there!" he exclaims. Intrigued, you lean back forward to scrutinize the concentrated area.

Bingo. A single strand of hair.

"Are you talking about this strand of hair, Eji?" you lean forward and raise your hand to pluck it out. "M'yeah," Ejiro mumbles, eyes welling up with tears once more. "J-just pluck it out!" he panics, and you flinch at his words, swiftly removing the errant strand. Holding the hair in your hand, you closely examine it.

It's black?

"Ejiro… it's just black," you attempt to reassure your boyfriend, but he shakes his head. "But I just dyed my hair last week! It can't be coming in this early," he frets. Turning your head to the side, you speak.

"I didn't know you dyed your hair," you admit.

Ejiro frowns, studying your reaction. "I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't," he sighs, defeated. "When my hair is red, I feel the most manly, like I'm someone bigger than myself. I'm able to embody this character that I'm genuinely proud of."

Your disbelief deepens as you sit in the deepness of his newfound vulnerability.

"But when I'm that," he points at your hand in disgust.

"I'm just me… some loser that no one will ever like—"

"Ejiro," you say firmly.

Standing up, you reach for him. As he leans into your embrace, you caress his frame. Softly tracing circles on his back, leading up to his shoulders, you then tangle your fingers through his locks. Ejiro flinches, his shoulders tense up as you lightly tug at his hair.

"Listen to me when I say this," pulling away, you slide your fingers from his scalp and trace your hands along his jaw, cupping his cheeks. "I don't care who you are now or what you used to be; what I know is that I love you for you. No matter what you show me or what you think will drive me away from you; it won't."

Looking deeply into his eyes, you watch as he lets out an exasperated sigh.

Ejiro leans his head into your tender touch, "But—I lied to you," he mumbles. "Okay? Ejiro, you're just like any other person on this planet; you're allowed to keep things from me that you think I shouldn't." You give him a reassuring smile, "you deserve to have a sense of humanity like everyone else" you chuckled.

The redhead lets out a dry chuckle, "But this is like you telling me that one of your boobs is purple or something," he tries to tell a joke, but you give him a confused look. "Not exactly…" you trail off.

"Okay."

Both of you chuckle at his words. Leaning into his touch, you embrace him in a tight hug. "Y'know… I'd bet you'd look super hot with your hair all black," you muffle into the crook of his neck. Ejiro soon unravels from your grasp, an unreadable look etched over his face.

"Ya think?" he says with a small smirk. You hum in response. Ejiro looks up for a moment, pondering your response. Tightening his grip on your waist, he pulls you in, closing the gap between both of you with a quick peck.

"I'll think about it."

TAG LIST:

❥: @xo-evangeline, @nar00, @king-dynamight, @gold24fish, @lovra974 , @bakugospartner, @gaby-11, @akqsa-xxi, @jolynegf, @goldenglow149, @aliruuiz, @zukowantshishonourback, @ilovedenk-i, @atsushiki, @smolbeanzzz, @lem-hhn, @stevenknightmarc, @ryumiii, @idontevenknowlolls, @lyn07, @kennshifts, @ackerman-suck-3-r, @elegantvoids, @thecurlyhairedgoddess, @sunyrose, @thisbicc, @thekookiecorner, @snxwycloud, @skylardarling, @cosmic-rainstorm, @venus-xxoo, @iluv-ace, @yoonievrse , @chixkadee, @starxsage

181 notes · View notes

whimsiandwild · 5 months

Text

Pairing: Astarion x Female!reader; Former Gortash x Female!reader

Word Count: 1400

Triggers [PLEASE READ]: Mentions of past abuse, panic attacks, PTSD, verbal abuse, implied non-consensual, hurt/comfort, some fluff at the end.

A/N [PLEASE READ]: So, this is coming from a very personal place upon some revelations I've had today. It's heavy so please don't feel obligated to read it. And please, please don't read it if you are triggered by any of the above; I know how hard it is to deal with this stuff on a daily basis and never want to be the cause for anyone. To anyone who does read it, thank you <3

“Tav, are you alrighht? What’s wrong?”

Icy fingers on your shoulder made you jump, grabbing the offending limb and shoving it off. Spinning around, Astarion grabbed the top of your arms to still you. The concern on his face had never been more genuine.

“Darling, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Your smile didn’t reach your eyes and he frowned, taking your hand in his and linking your fingers as he led the party into Wrym’s Rock. He knew something was wrong, and that it had something to do with the man you’d all been summoned by, he just didn’t know why. Gods, you’d always hoped you’d never have to tell him.

There had been telltale signs that he’d recognised as the two of you grew closer, similar things that occurred in him when a particularly awful memory of Cazador resurfaced. He’d asked about it, but you’d always told him it was nothing. Just a bad memory you didn’t need to dwell on. And you hadn’t, not really. Sure, the trauma attached was still there but you could handle it, you had for years. But then you’d seen him before the fight with Ketheric Thorm. A man you’d hoped to never see again, now being ordained archduke of Baldur’s Gate.

The guards showed you into the ceremony hall, your hand sweating in Astarion’s grip as you began the long walk down the aisle; it felt like a lifetime, a force beyond your control forcing your legs to move. You couldn’t look up, feeling bile rise in your throat as you stared at the carpet. Everything you’d worked so hard to forget was coming back to hit you full force. You wanted to hurl, and cry, and scream, and run away. Mostly, you wanted to hurt him. Hurt him the way he’d constantly hurt you, but you knew that was a line you’d never be able to cross.

“Well, well, well. Look what’s been dragged back into my home.”

Your legs almost gave out beneath you, his voice still as charming and alluring as ever, your free hand clinging to your vampire’s shirt sleeve. Astarion had become more than a little concerned by this point, Lae’zel and Gale flanking the two of you.

“Still as ignorant and disobedient as ever,” he scoffed, and you felt Astarion tense beside you, your grip only tightening in an attempt to keep him by your side. “Look at me when I’m speaking!”

Without a moment’s hesitation, your head snapped up and you were staring into the all too familiar eyes of Enver Gortash. Still handsome as ever, and with that vicious glint in his eyes that always occurred when he looked at you, at his property.

He’d been Enver Flymm when you’d first met him. He hadn’t been the most loving of partner’s, but he showed it… in his own way. Soon, however, he got lost. Then Enver Gortash was born. An abusive tyrant who had put you through hell until you’d finally managed to escape. You could still remember that nigt. The way your wrists had bled as you’d tried desperately to break free of your restraints, the painful swelling around your eye and the deep gashes along your legs. The scars seemed to flame against your skin at the memory.

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t breathe. Why was breathing so hard? How was everyone so seemingly fine? Astarion was staring at you in bewilderment, worry etched into his furrowed brow. You didn’t know what to say, couldn’t think of the words to convey the fear that was threatening to bubble over any minute and make you run screaming.

“Your manners clearly need improvement,” Gortash sneered, his hard, cold gaze never leaving your cowering figure. “Now, it seems we all have some things to discuss, regarding all this ridiculous Absolute business. However, I have a ceremony to begin. You will stay and watch, won’t you, kitten?”

The use of the old pet name he’d used to degrade you was enough to finally break your resolve. Bursting into tears, the last thing you saw as your companions dragged you away was his smug, arrogant smile.

His hands were everywhere. You tugged at your hands but, as always, the bonds were tight and unbreakable. Panic began to flood your veins as he grabbed at you too tightly, bit too harshly, moved your body too roughly. And there was nothing you could do but lay there and let it happen.

“I don’t see why you’re being so difficult, kitten. You’re normally much more compliant.”

Tears leaked from the corners of your eyes and wet your hair, shaking your head in denial. He was lying, you knew he was, but it still caused the same guilt and shame to flare up it always did. He was always so good at making you believe you were the problem, the one who’d done wrong. He’d done it so many time you almost believed him.

With a sharp tug at both your knees, he spread your legs as wide as he could, the sudden jolt of pain shooting up your thighs making you cry out in agony. One hand freed a leg but you weren’t brave enough to move it back. He used his now free hand to run against your core, smirking as he glanced in satisfaction at the slick on his fingers.

“You filthy little bitch. All this protesting and you’re already dying to have me.”

“Enver,” you begged, your lip trembling as he towered over you suddenly. “Please don’t.”

“Shut up!” he shouted, making you flinch and look away. He gripped your chin and forced your tearful eyes to stare at him. “You’ll take it, and you’ll enjoy it.”

You struggled against him as he lined himself up, screaming as he entered you with no care in the world for your wellbeing…

The screaming got louder and louder to your ears until you realised you’d screamed yourself awake, along with your poor partner. Astarion was bewildered as his hands cupped your wet face in an attempt to calm you. You were panting by the time you’d realised you’d been dreaming, your heart close to breaking out of your chest.

“Darling, what happened? What’s wrong?”

“Oh gods… he…. he-!”

You sobbed into your hands, unable to finish your sentence as he cradled you, embracing you for however long you needed him to. Eventually your tears stopped falling, though the ache in your chest wouldn’t fade, no matter how hard you tried to rid yourself of it.

Astarion was more quiet and patient than you’d ever remembered seeing him. He was clearly deep in thought, and you didn’t want to disturb him. Instead, you wrapped yourself around him and enveloped yourself in every aspect that was him. He was your safe space, and you needed to relish in that right now.

“I have to ask, darling,” he said quietly after a long while. “This Gortash,” He all but spat the word. “Did he… did he treat you as Cazador treated me?”

Nodding, you buried your face into his chest as his grip on you tightened. You were relieved he hadn’t asked you to elaborate; you didn’t think you’d ever be able to speak out loud the horrendous things that man had done.

“Tav, please know this, and know it to be true,” His fingers tilted your chin so you were gazing into his liquid crimson eyes. “If he comes near you again, if he merely looks at you, I will rip him to pieces, revive him, and do it all over again. You never need to tell me details; I’m sure I can understand well enough; but know I’m here. I won’t let anyone hurt you like that ever again. I… I love you, darling.”

Breaking down, you let him hold you for the rest of the night, your head on his chest as he comforted you with words of love and soft touches. Sniffing, you dried your face, and sat up on your elbows, staring down at him.

“I… thank you, Astarion,” you whispered, pressing a hard kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

He said nothing, just flashing you that charming smile of his before he pulled you back to him, holding onto you like his livelihood may depend on it. You stayed like this for as long as time would allow, and you’d never felt safer.

#TW: ABUSE #CW:ABUSE #PLEASE READ TRIGGERS #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #enver gortash #lord gortash #astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #gortash x reader #gortash x tav #gortash x you

231 notes · View notes

violentdelights-violentendss · 5 months

Text

Bath Time

Pairing: Fem!Reader/Tangerine

Synopsis: You successfully manage to drag Tangerine into a bath after a long and strenuous job.

Requested by: I lost the username…I’m so sorry!!!!

Warning: Nothing.

(So sorry this is maybe too short and very bad, but I just wanted to post something to show you guys I’m alive and currently working on all your requests!!! Please send many many more! I love writing all of them!)

You were cooking in the kitchen, making a plate of carbonara for yourself. Tangerine’s necklace was heavy in between your breasts. He always left it with you when he went on jobs.

The bacon sizzled in the pan, making you come back from your memories. You took one out of the pan, dropping it in your mouth. The juicy flavor covered your tongue, even if scorching.

As you hummed along to the song playing on your phone, the door squeaked open. Instantly, the music was too loud and the sizzling of the bacon hurt your ears. Fear slithered down your spine, freezing you.

Dry and heavy steps started trudging towards you. Silently, your hand shaking, you grabbed the knife on the counter, stepping quietly towards the wall of the kitchen. You gripped the knife just like Tangerine had taught you to do, ready to stab the intruder that had come in your home.

The steps were getting closer to the kitchen. Your hands started trembling even more, and you clasped the knife tightly to not drop it.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a shape flickering closer. Without waiting, you twirled away from the wall, ready to attack the man.

“Darling?” Called a familiar voice.

Slowly, you opened your scrunched up eyes. In front of you, Tangerine stood in all his bloodied and exhausted glory. His clothes were covered in blood, and the bags underneath his eyes were bigger than when he had left. Your trembling knife was pressed against his throat. The knife tumbled from your hand, falling at your feet.

“Tangerine?” You stuttered, fear still clawing your jaw shut. The man didn’t reply, but wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer, hiding his tired face in your neck. You didn’t hesitate to embrace him. You didn’t care that the blood, his or someone’s else, was soaking into your white shirt.

He stayed silent for a second before you heard his tire voice croak out, “Missed you, love.”

“I missed you too,” you whisper back, holding him tightly against your chest. You inhaled his perfume, letting your hands tangle in his curls. “Come on, we have to get you in the bath.” You gently grabbed his hand, supporting his fatigued body and carrying him towards the bathroom. Tangerine followed limply, his feet dragging on the floor.

You reached the bathroom, heaving and panting, delicately sitting Tangerine down on the toilet seat. His eyes were glazed and his head hung low. You spun towards the bathtub, flicking the tap open and turning it to choose hot water, which soon started pouring into the bath. Grabbing one of the bath bombs you kept tidily on the side, you dropped it in the water, watching as it dissolved, turning the water a sunset pink, the room now smelling like roses.

As the water gurgled, filling the bathtub, you knelt down in front of Tangerine. “Darling, I’m going to start undressing you.” You whispered calmly, not wanting to trigger his fight or flight responses: it had happened once when he was in this state and it had not been pretty. Tangerine didn’t seem to see you, but your words must have gotten through to him, his head nodding slightly.

You started unbuttoning his vest, slowly peeling it off his sweat-covered body, gently folding it. Then came the button-up shirt that was splotched with blood — a gruesome painting. You reached his pants, unbuckling his belt. You tugged them down with the boxers, helping him to stand so he could safely get into the bathtub.

Tangerine let himself be moved, as if he were a puppet, once loved and now forgotten. He sunk down into the water, leaning heavily against the side of the tub, eyes pointed to the ceiling, lost in memories of the mission you were sure were going to haunt his already tormented dreams.

You quietly started washing the encrusted blood off his face, body and hair, humming a quiet lullaby to soothe his tired mind. After a while that Tangerine had been soaking, listening to your quiet voice and feeling your warm touch on his skin, he seemed to snap out of his daze, slowly blinking awake. “Hey, Tan.” You welcomed him back, watching as he seemed to come back alive, warmth flushing his cheeks.

Tangerine looked at you as if he were seeing you for the first time, his eyes starting to glimmer with tears when his heart realized he was safe. Immediately, you were pulled into his arms, and into the water, simply embracing him as tightly as he needed. “God, I thought that…for a minute, during the mission, I wouldn’t make it back.” He croaked in your ear, pressing a kiss to your lips, his tears falling onto your lips, running down to nestle on his necklace.

You shivered at just the thought, pressing him closer. “You’re here now. You’re here. Safe.” You said, gently rocking Tangerine in your arms, hoping to reassure him.

You stayed, embraced, in the cooling water for hours. When you later tried to move, Tangerine simply held you closer, pressing soft kisses against your neck. You sighed, getting comfortable, knowing it was going to be a long night. But you were ready to be there as long as Tangerine needed you, and Tangerine loved you till the end of the world and back: you two were going to be together for all eternity.

#bullet train #tangerine x reader #tangerine #tangerine x y/n

163 notes · View notes

idyllic-affections · 11 months

Text

what if kaveh adopted a child? (pt. ii)

summary. kaveh isn't exactly the best single dad out there, but he's doing his best.

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, slight angst. adoptive dad!kaveh & reader. alhaitham & reader. tighnari & reader. collei & reader. 1.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of what if kaveh adopted a child?

author's thoughts. do you guys remember when i said i wouldnt expand upon this brainrot? i lied. it was pretty well recieved and got some nice interaction so i hope to replicate that effect with this one!! heres some more adoptive dad!kaveh 💖 this will not make sense if you havent read the aforementioned brainrot, so please do that before reading this one! also do be aware that this has hints of kaveh's backstory in it, so if you don't want to see implied spoilers, don't read this!!

kaveh is a disaster single dad, but he's doing his best.

kaveh did inevitably take alhaitham's unsolicited advice and took them to gandharva ville. as much as he may hate to outwardly admit it... he knows he's not in a place to take care of a child alone, and he can't force alhaitham to help. that is simply not his roommate's responsibility. kaveh respects that; taking care of a child is a serious committment. it is not something that can be treated lightly, and it is certainly not something to force upon an unwilling caretaker. thankfully, the people at gandharva ville have no issue taking them in until kaveh is able to care for them properly.

tighnari and collei take really good care of them—especially collei. she adores them.

collei was very awkward with them at first, but she warmed up to them pretty quickly. something about having the opportunity to help a young child recover from trauma and learn to be stronger and smarter, having the opportunity to be like a big sister... it's very healing for her. she is being the person she herself would have needed all those years ago.

tighnari was also somewhat hesitant at first. children have a tendency to be bratty and loud, and he... does not have that kind of patience, but he was quick to get over any prior doubts after meeting them for the first time. they were very quiet. it was kind of worrying at first, but tighnari quickly realized that they just prefer communicating nonverbally.

the way they write is beautifully advanced and elegant, but it seems that their mouth finds it hard to keep up with their brain. that's all.

tighnari tutors them alongside collei. they're very advanced in language for their young age, and collei is a bit behind, so the two are roughly at the same level. he's also teaching both of them some of sumeru's many languages.

unlike collei, however, they are not from sumeru. they're from fontaine. as such, they have a lot of trouble producing some sounds that native speakers would have no trouble with.

(it's a source of very much frustration for them. collei is always there to console them when they get especially frustrated with themselves, wiping their tears away with gentle yet calloused hands and reassuring them that absolutely no-one expects them to be able to pronounce every word perfectly. even she messes up sometimes! she was away from sumeru for so long, after all. some sounds are difficult for her too.)

whenever kaveh visits them, they absolutely shine with excitement, as if he hasn't come to see them in ages. however... he's usually there multiple times a week (unless he's away for a project, and if he is, he always tells them before he leaves). they're simply always happy to see him.

it's really very cute, the way they gasp delightedly and run up to hug his legs since they're too short to reach any higher. it's impossibly endearing.

one time in particular stood out.

"Baba!"

Utter shock.

The silence that spread through Gandharva Ville was incredibly overpowering, but that didn't seem to deter them from running up to poor Kaveh—who had yet to completely process what they had said, how they had addressed him—and squeezing their little arms around his leg. The silence was quick to dissipate into fond murmurs and giggles as the Forest Rangers resumed their individual duties.

...

The blonde had no intention of replacing their parents; he'd feel awful if one or both of them turned up at some point, only for their child to have bonded with a different caretaker, but...

He also didn't have the heart to chide them. Who would? The way they gazed up at him with a smile that outshined the blazing sun itself was too sweet, too innocent. Kaveh couldn't possibly imagine why anyone would want to crush their soul like that.

He couldn't deny the warmth spreading in his chest, either.

With a smile, he raised his child into his arms, laying his forehead against their's. His gaze was gentle, affectionate, as he observed their expression. 'Enamored' didn't even begin to describe Kaveh's affection for them.

"Hello, little one. Baba's back."

from then on, kaveh absolutely addresses them as his kid. he just accepts that his role in their life is that of a father. family is not defined by blood, and archons know they need a parental figure that they can trust and rely on after what they went through in fontaine.

he never really saw himself being a father, at least not for a good while, but he adores them sm <3

alhaitham definitely warms up to them (eventually)!

he teaches them a few things here and there. most of the things he teaches them are language-related, but he'll sometimes present them with math problems. he'll even review some of their work for them if they ask, especially if it's something like an essay.

kaveh would absolutely pay special attention to his child's hair. if he doesn't already know how to care for their specific hair type, he would do everything in his power to learn how to.

kaveh spoils them whenever he can afford to. he oftentimes can't afford to do such things, which stings like a fresh wound would, but he knows they're happy even without being spoiled. he tries his best!

the architect wants to preserve their native culture, but they seem averse to the idea of returning to fontaine, and forcing them would do no good.

for now, the best he can do is obtain fontainian literature through foreign sources and ensure that their own language isn't erased by the sumeran languages they're learning.

his mother does live there. he could always ask her for a few favors when needed.

when the political climate cools down a little, he plans on taking them to fontaine, just not the capital city. anywhere outside of the nation's capital would do. ideally, he'd keep them as far away from the hydro archon as possible.

kaveh would never push his child to enroll in the akademiya, no matter how brilliant they are. unless they voluntarily want to go...

he will not do something that cruel to them. he wouldn't dream of it. honestly, even if they wanted to go, he would be a little hesitant.

(this view would change drastically after the sages are removed from office, however; once they're gone and the akademiya becomes less suffocating, he'd totally encourage them to go.)

if they did decide they wanted to go, however, he'd absolutely try to get them to enroll in kshahrewar.

like father like child!! they've been with the forest rangers for a while, so surely they'd be good with their hands by then.

alhaitham would try to get them into haravatat just to spite kaveh (those two are married, trust me!). his reasoning? they're far ahead of their peers in language. they'd thrive in an environment such as the one his darshan creates.

if they decide not to go? that's alright, too.

kaveh wants his child to thrive in an environment where they can safely and happily pursue whatever catches their interest, even if that means they regularly hop between subjects and ideas on a whim. inspiration is a skittish beast that would surely slip through their fingers if they aren't quick enough to pursue it; he understands this idea very well. it really isn't the end of the world if they don't want to go to the akademiya. they have plenty of scholars willing to teach them without all the academic stress attached—kaveh himself, alhaitham, tighnari, cyno...

(they're like a platonic co-parenting friend group LMAO they're raising [name] and collei together! they all help each other out!!)

kaveh is also very intent on teaching them to care for themselves before they try to care for anyone else.

he lives weighed down by guilt for things that weren't even his fault. he knows he's trapped by his own ideals; he'd be damned if he were to teach his child to be same way.

"do as i say, not as i do" kind of vibe. also definitely teaches his kid to "do no harm but take no shit"

(though, let's be honest: children learn through mirroring. if kaveh is not careful, his child will subconsciously adopt his self-destructive behaviors. thankfully, they do have other people to set them straight if they begin exhibiting such behaviors, namely alhaitham and cyno, who also do the majority of teaching them to "take no shit".)

ultimately, kaveh just wants his child to be happy, even if something were to happen to him. he doesn't want them to feel the way he does every moment of his life.

It wasn't often that Kaveh simply got to sit in calm silence with his child.

More often than not, they spent their time in Gandharva Ville with the forest rangers. However, every other weekend, Kaveh would take them back to Sumeru City with him; Alhaitham seemed to have no qualms with keeping them around after realizing the kind of child they turned out to be.

It was during the weekends the architect had them that he sought to spend as much time as possible with them.

Sometimes, that meant sitting peacefully in the silence together.

"...Little one," Kaveh called softly, hand stroking lovingly over their hair. They tilted their head back to meet his gaze, a small, inquisitive sound leaving their lips.

"Hm?"

"If something ever happens to me, I want you to know that you had nothing to do with it in any way, matter the circumstance. If something ever happens to me... it would not be your fault, okay? Do you understand?"

A heavy silence extended for a moment, and Kaveh could only watch as a variety of emotions crossed their face at once.

It unsettled him that they seemed to fight with themselves about how to respond, as if they couldn't agree with that.

Then again...

It wouldn't surprise him if they blamed themselves for the loss of their biological parents. Only time would tell if that pain would manifest into something worse as they got older.

"...Okay, baba. I understand."

He smiled, leaning down to kiss their forehead.

"Good."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion's headcanons 🌸#: [ adoptive dad kaveh! 🌸 ]#favoniuslibrary #astronetwrk #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact #platonic genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaveh x reader #platonic kaveh x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham x reader #tighnari x reader #collei x reader

436 notes · View notes

punkshort · 8 months

Text

Chapter warnings: language, graphic depictions of violence, explicit smut (MDNI), little bit of sub!joel in this one, jealous/possessive smut, graphic descriptions of and references to SA - please proceed with caution if this is a trigger for you

Chapter Sixteen

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

You could feel Joel’s eyes burning a hole in your back as you followed the guards down the hallway to a common room area. After realizing Joel’s ex-fiancée was conveniently one of the leaders in this community, you had shut down and refused to look at him. You knew it was irrational. How could it be his fault? It just set your teeth on edge, especially considering the reservations you were already having about this place. The man with the dark hair and thick eyebrows jutted his chin out towards Joel and pointed in the direction of the men’s restroom.

“You go in there, we need to check you over for bites,” Joel hesitated, looking back at you, but you continued to stare straight ahead. “It’s standard procedure, we do it for all new intakes. It keeps us safe, don’t take it personally.” Joel took a step towards you, trying to catch your gaze but you were fixated on your feet.

“You gonna be alright for a minute?” he murmured to you.

“Mhm,” you gave a quick nod, eyes still cast down, trying to quell your irritation.

He paused, then glanced around at the group of people waiting for him. He grumbled and turned to enter the restroom, the dark-haired man following. Amy slinked up next to you and placed her hand lightly on your shoulder. It took everything you had not to shrug her hand off as you raised your eyes to look at her. By all accounts, she was pretty. She had bright blue eyes and blonde hair, although you noticed it was a few shades darker than the picture you had seen in Joel's apartment. You could see she was closer to Joel's age by the fine wrinkles developing around her eyes and mouth. She tried to give you a reassuring smile, but it just came off as insincere.

"You can follow me in here," she motioned towards the women's restroom. "I'll look you over real quick and we can get you something to eat." Reluctantly, you followed her into the women's room. You set your backpack down against the wall and took your jacket off before looking to her for direction. She was regarding you carefully with a curious smile.

"You don't talk much," she said, motioning for you to take your shirt off. You began to unbutton your flannel and shrugged at her comment, still choosing not to speak. You took the flannel off and hung it over your crossed arms, feeling exposed in your bra in front of Joel's ex. She walked around you slowly and lifted each of your arms to get a good look at your skin. Amy motioned for you to drop your jeans, so you tugged the flannel back over your arms, leaving it unbuttoned, and reached down to pull the denim off your legs. She did the same thing, walked around slowly and inspected you closely, even tugging on the back of your underwear to check your ass before snapping the band back. You were facing the door with only your shirt partially covering you when you heard a sharp knock.

"Come in," Amy called, still looking you over. You turned to her in surprise, clutching your flannel shut to preserve your dignity before the skinny redhead entered the room, his eyes raking up and down your body before clearing his throat to address Amy.

"The man's clear, what do you want us to do with him?" he asked.

"Let's take them to the cafeteria and get them something to eat before we assign them rooms, thanks Ian." she replied, then motioned for you to put your jeans back on. You awkwardly bent over to pull your legs through as quickly as possible, but Ian had already left. You hastily buttoned up your flannel before shooting her a glare, and she smirked in response. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"We only need one room, thanks," you said, not letting your gaze waver. It seemed that you confirmed for her what she already suspected, giving you a tight smile and a nod before ushering you back into the common room. Joel was waiting anxiously against the wall for you to emerge, pushing himself off to come over to you, but you kept up the attitude, still refusing to look him in the eye.

Ian, thick eyebrows, and Amy led you both down another floor and through a hallway before reaching a large cafeteria where clusters of people sat at various tables. All eyes turned towards you as you walked in, regarding you curiously. You kept your eyes straight ahead as you were led to a table and invited to sit. Joel sat next to you on one side of the table while Amy chose to sit directly across from him. Ian went to get you each a bowl of soup and thick eyebrows stood guard behind Amy.

"It's been a long time, Joel. How did you get here?" she asked him, completely ignoring you.

"Walked," he said curtly, crossing his arms over his chest. She nodded, picking up on his tone.

"And Tommy?" she said softly, biting her lip. You tried you best to keep from rolling your eyes. You didn't appreciate the sweet tone she was taking with him. Maybe you were just paranoid, maybe she was just being nice. But your gut was telling you otherwise.

"Don't know," he said gruffly, trying to avoid her eyes by looking around the room. He noticed the skinny red-haired guy waiting for your food and standing with a big brute of a man in the corner of the room, eyeing you up closely. He glanced over at you, unaware of the men staring at you. He knew you were pissed, but you could at least look at him. He clenched his teeth when he looked back at the men who were very obviously leering in your direction now and whispering to each other. He possessively tucked his arm over your shoulders, feeling you tense up under his touch. The men slid their gaze over to Joel now, who raised his eyebrows at them expectantly. They grinned at each other and shook their heads, turning away and focusing on the food counter.

You finally looked in his direction now, giving him a confused look. The motion was not lost on Amy as she stared at Joel's arm around you for a second too long before breaking away and looking back at him, forcing a smile.

"Well, I'm so glad you are safe and that you made it here. We have a community of about 60 people so far, most of us strangers. We all pitch in where we can, so we will be assigning some work to you both. And I know what you're thinking," she said, holding up her hand, "but it's not like the QZs. We don't ration people's food or supplies. Our long-term plan is to find a safe area away from the city where we can make a home." She continued to look directly at Joel the whole time she spoke, and it was getting on your nerves. You knew it shouldn't, you knew he loved you, but you couldn't help it. You cleared your throat loudly, finally dragging her gaze from Joel and onto you.

"What kind of work?" you asked, and you felt Joel's hand squeeze your shoulder slightly.

"Patrols, guard duty, cooking, cleaning, laundry... that sort of thing. Whatever needs to be done, we all take turns and do our part." At that, she narrowed your eyes to you, as if there was a double meaning to her words that you couldn't decipher.

"That's fine, we understand. We'll help out." Joel said, drawing Amy's attention back towards him. She gave him a warm smile.

"Perfect. And here's your food," she said, looking over your shoulder as Ian placed bowls in front of you both. "I'll let you two have some privacy, when you're all set, I'll be over there," she pointed to a table that you now noticed sat the four other leaders you briefly met earlier. "And then I'll show you to your room." She emphasized the last word and glanced quickly at you before standing up and walking over to the other table, followed closely by Ian.

You gulped and looked down at your soup, suddenly feeling nauseous. Something about what Amy said didn't sit right with you but you couldn't put your finger on it. You lazily stirred the soup and took a few small sips before giving up and leaning back in your chair. Joel noticed your lack of appetite and brought his hand down to squeeze your knee.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "I didn't know."

You scoffed and folded your arms across your chest, looking at a fixed point on the wall.

"You sure about that?" You asked coldly. He dropped the spoon in his bowl before glancing at you sideways.

"How the fuck would I know?" he said lowly, trying to make sure he wasn't overheard. You shook your head, not wanting to get into an argument.

"You done yet? I'm tired, I need to get some sleep." You pushed your chair back with your legs and strode over to the leader's table, knocking firmly on the end to get their attention. Amy's eyes shot up to you after breaking off a quiet conversation with one of the men.

"Ready," you said, as you felt Joel come up beside you. She nodded and stood.

"Ok, follow me. I had Ian take your backpacks to your room already." She motioned for you both to follow her and you turned on your heel to do just that, Joel following behind you quietly.

Amy led you both up to the third floor. About halfway down, she stopped and unlocked a door, then gave the key to Joel before pushing the door open. The dorm was small, as expected, with two twin beds on either side of the room. You noticed a small bathroom with only a sink and toilet in the corner and your backpacks on the end of the beds.

“You two probably had a long journey, why don’t you get some rest. There are some toiletries in the bathroom. Breakfast starts at 7 in the morning. I’ll find you in the cafeteria and give you your work assignments once leadership decides,” she looked directly at Joel when she added, “please let me know if you need anything.” Then she excused herself, softly shutting the door behind her. You rolled your eyes and collapsed on the bed with your backpack on it, throwing your arm over your face.

“Alright, lemme have it,” Joel said roughly, tossing his backpack on the floor and sitting on the other bed. “It’s my fault. We walked halfway across the country to a city I had no idea she even lived in on the off chance we would find her, right?” He glared at you, fuming, but you just laid there with your arm covering your eyes. “C’mon already, tell me how this is my fault.”

“Did you know that was her voice on the radio?” you asked quietly, your arm still draped over your face.

“Did I – what?!” he exclaimed, standing up. “Are you fuckin’ kidding me? ‘Course not! I don’t know if that even was her recording!” You shook your head and rubbed the heels of your hands into your eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Look at me,” he demanded, but you shook your head again. You just wanted to sleep and forget this ever happened. You wanted to wake up back at the white house with blue shutters, or even on the forest floor at this point. He walked to your bed to stand over you and noticed a tear trickling down the side of your face, heading towards your ear. “Sweetheart,” he began, softer this time, but you stopped him. You sat up and crawled backwards, so your back was against the headboard, putting more space between the two of you.

“I don’t like it here,” you told him flat out, wiping at the stray tear. “There’s something off, I can’t put my finger on it, but the way she looked at me when she talked about everyone doing their part… I don’t like it.” He snorted and sat down at the end of your bed, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

“You gotta give it a chance. We just got here a few hours ago. Give it a week,” he said, dropping his hand and looking into your eyes. You could see the desperation behind his gaze as he rubbed absentmindedly at his chest. “Give it a week, and if you still don’t like it, we’ll go.” You sighed, knowing you couldn’t argue with him. It was a good compromise, so you squeezed your eyes shut and nodded.

“Fine,” you whispered, your chin dropping to your chest. He grinned, leaning forward to pull you in for a kiss that you barely reciprocated. He got up to unpack some of his things while you turned on your side and pulled the blanket over you, eager to get some sleep.

The next morning, you and Joel sat together at a table eating a breakfast of oatmeal, some kind of animal meat you couldn’t name, berries, and coffee. You were starving since you decided to be dramatic and skip dinner yesterday, so you barely noticed when Amy and the others walked in to sit down at their table, her eyes immediately traveling over to Joel and gave him a flirty wave. He nodded in her direction and focused back on his food, muttering something under his breath.

“What?” you asked, popping the last of your berries into your mouth. He sighed and leaned in a little closer.

“She’s here,” was all he said, and you could feel your body tense up. You knew you had to see her again today, but you couldn’t control your reaction. You drank the last of your coffee as she glided over to your table, giving Joel a huge grin, and once again pretending you didn’t exist.

“Good morning! I hope you slept alright,” she said brightly. Joel grunted and nodded.

“We slept fine, thanks,” he replied, his hand drifting to your knee under the table. You warmed a bit at the touch, knowing he was trying to make you comfortable.

“I have your work assignments for the week. Joel, you’re on guard duty, second shift,” she winked at him before whispering, “I pulled some strings, usually newcomers have to take third shift,” then she raised her voice back up to a normal level before addressing you for the first time. “You’re on kitchen duty with Maryanne. She’s a sweetheart, she’s excited for the extra help. You’re scheduled from 10am to 7pm today.” She handed out your assignments written out on index cards, confirming the times and the locations. You were getting sick of her subtle flirting, the wink and the whisper finally tipping you over the edge. You hooked your leg over the top of Joel’s and leaned forward, draping your arm over his shoulders, pretending like she wasn’t even there.

“Baby, isn’t this so great? Our work shifts practically overlap, we’ll be able to be together at night,” you trailed a finger over his shoulder as he shot you a surprised look. He had only heard you call him that when you were having sex, and as if you had conditioned him, his cock jumped in his pants when he heard the affectionate nickname. He cleared his throat and looked back and forth between you and Amy, who tried to hide her displeasure with a fake smile.

“Yeah, it’s good, sweetheart,” he took the cards and looked back up at Amy. “Thanks, I’ll be seein’ ya at 2.” She nodded curtly and swiveled around to head back to her table. Joel chuckled under his breath as he rubbed the inside of your thigh.

“Did that make you feel good?” he teased, taking a sip of his lukewarm coffee.

“Oh, I can think of something that feels better,” you said, making him sputter into his mug. He wiped his mouth and looked at you, eyes wide and eyebrows raised, and you couldn’t contain your smirk. He cleared his throat and rested his chin in his hand, looking around the room, as he tried to wait out the erection he had under the table.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?” he murmured, unable to keep the grin from his face as he slid your leg off his lap. You grinned at him, pleased at his reaction.

“We have a few hours to kill, you know,” you whispered as you got up from the table and dumped your dishes into the empty bin by the garbage, only meeting his eyes once before you exited the cafeteria and headed back to your room.

He was only a few minutes behind you after you left, slamming the door and snatching your face in his grip, pulling you close and hungrily exploring your mouth. You moaned into him, your tongue flicking at his teeth sloppily as you both hurriedly undressed each other. Joel walked you backwards towards your bed, but at the last minute you twisted around and pushed him back. He flopped down onto the mattress, flinging his arms behind him for support as he gazed up at you, panting for air. Your pants had already been undone and pushed down, but you pulled them the rest of the way off as he did the same. You flung your t-shirt over your head and stood before him in just your bra and underwear. He was in the process of removing his shirt when he paused to drink you in, then whipped it over his head to the corner of the room. He reached out to grab your waist, but you took a step back and shook your finger from side to side.

“Be patient,” you demanded, and you watched his gaze instantly darken at your tone. He slowly brought his hand back and instead palmed his cock through his boxers, watching you spin around and slowly unhook your bra. You shot a sly glance over your shoulder at him as you wiggled out of it and tossed it to the side. His lips were parted and flushed as he stared at your back, eagerly waiting for you to turn around. When you did, you kept your hand over your breasts, playfully batting his hand away when he reached out.

“Take them off,” he told you hoarsely, his eyes burning into you. You tsked at him and shook your head, making him groan, but he remained seated on the bed. You took a small step forward and lifted your other hand out to tip his chin up.

“I’m going to be the one in charge today, is that clear?” you asked him with a raised eyebrow. He nodded feverishly, his jaw slack.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, and you smiled at the term. You rewarded him by planting a quick kiss on his lips before pulling back.

“Good boy,” you muttered, dropping your hand from your tits and finally revealing yourself to him. His body jumped in response, but he forced himself to remain seated, looking back and forth between you and your breasts, silently pleading to allow him to touch you. You stepped forward and pushed him back, making him turn his body so his head was resting against the pillow. You lifted your leg and straddled him, bringing his hands up to grip your waist. He groaned and began to roll his hips into yours, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him. He let out a puff of air as he clenched his teeth, bringing his hips down to rest on the bed.

You hummed as you traced a finger down his neck and over his broad chest, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Tell me, Joel," you began casually, as your finger slowed near his boxers. "Do you want to fuck me?"

He let out a rush of air from his lungs he didn't realize he was holding, nodding as his grip on your waist tightened.

"Yes," he choked out, "yes, I want to fuck you."

You smiled as your fingernail gently scraped back and forth along the top of his pubic hair, the sensation making him shiver.

"And what about her?" you asked him as your finger stilled. "Do you want to fuck her?"

He stared at you for a moment, finally realizing where this shift was coming from. You were jealous. Jealous of Amy, of all people, who ripped his heart out and didn't think twice. If only you knew the whole story.

"No," he said firmly, making sure you were looking him in the eye. "Only you. I'm so deeply in love with you that it fuckin' hurts."

He could tell that pleased you by the way your eyes lit up, but you refused to smile and give yourself away. Instead, you hummed and leaned your head to the side, gently grinding yourself onto his cock. His eyes fluttered closed as he focused on not reciprocating for fear of losing the contact if he did so without permission. He groaned quietly when he felt your folds slip over his cock through the cloth, desperate to rip both your underwear off and bury himself inside you.

"You like that, baby?" you moaned as your pace picked up speed.

"Yes," he gasped, his eyes snapping open. "I want you so fuckin' bad, please," he begged. You smiled down at him sweetly but then you slid off his hips towards the end of the bed. He found himself almost reaching out to pull you back up when he realized you were yanking down his boxers, tossing them on the ground before slowly crawling up the bed on all fours towards him, your pointed nipples grazing against his legs. He reached out to grab your shoulders and pull you up to his mouth, but he stopped himself, his hands hovering in the air, waiting for permission. You noticed his restraint, your eyes bouncing back and forth between his hands suspended in the air. You paused when you reached his stomach, giving him a smile before dipping your head down and running your tongue leisurely up the length of his cock, flicking his slit with the tip of your tongue before pulling away.

He brought his hands up to his head and clutched his hair, his breathing labored. His eyes found yours right before you dipped back down to pull the tip of him into your mouth, pulling a deep groan from his chest. You wrapped your thumb and middle finger around his base to keep him still, and keeping your eyes on his face, you slowly brought your lips down further, inch by inch, until he touched the back of your throat. You felt his cock twitch in your mouth, and it made you smirk before slowly pulling back up and released him with a pop.

"Fuck," he gasped, his hands still clutching his hair, "fuck, that feels so good." You could feel your arousal ruining your underwear, the fabric becoming uncomfortable.

"Yeah?" you questioned before pulling the length of him back into your mouth, this time fisting his base in your hand as you bobbed up and down on him. You released him from your mouth but kept jerking him off as you spoke, spreading your saliva down the length of him.

"Did she ever fuck you this good?" you asked as he met your heated gaze. He shook his head wildly back and forth.

"No," his voice was strained, "never. No one's ever made me feel the way you do." You could hear the sentiment behind his words. He was trying to convey more than just a physical feeling, and you felt your chest flush with pride.

You quickly removed your hand and yanked your panties off, hovering over his hips and lining him up with your entrance. Before you pushed down, you brought your eyes up to meet his once more. His chest was heaving, his hands fisted at his sides, and his gaze focused solely on you. You could see in that moment that your jealousy was meaningless. Regardless of what Amy felt, you finally realized you had Joel wrapped around your finger, and nothing else mattered.

"Where do you want to touch me?" you asked him quietly, still not allowing him to enter you.

"Everywhere," he said instantly. You nodded your approval, and his hands flew up to your tits, massaging them gently between pinches of your nipples. You moaned and tipped your head back, your hands resting on the backs of his as you slowly sunk down on him. His hands froze as he focused entirely on the sensation, grunting when you finally bottomed out.

You gasped and brought your head forward to look at him.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of that feeling," you whispered. You bit your lip as he gently thrusted into you, testing to see if you would chastise him. You gave him a warning look, so he stopped and brought his hands down to grip the meaty part of your hips, his eyes glued to where you were connected. You planted your hands on his soft stomach, then lifting your hips up, started bouncing lightly up and down. He watched your breasts sway back and forth in front of him, hypnotized. Your eyes closed as you enjoyed the feeling of him sliding in and out, alternating between bouncing and rolling your hips. You could feel his fingers gripping you so tightly you were sure he was going to leave bruises, but the thought of him marking you just made you move faster, panting now at the effort.

You opened your eyes, looking down at his pained expression. His brow was furrowed and his jaw clenched tight as he stared up at the ceiling, focusing all his energy on remaining still and not slamming into you. You smirked, enjoying how difficult it was for him. You moved one of your hands off his stomach to cover one of his own, then pulled it forward so his thumb pressed against your clit. His eyes dragged from the ceiling back to your face, and immediately pressed small circles on your swollen bundle of nerves. You gasped and gripped his wrist, bouncing faster and leaning forward to hover over him.

"C'mon, sweetheart," he said through gritted teeth. "Let me have it, I wanna feel you." You groaned and squeezed your eyes shut as you felt the pressure in your stomach build. Joel kept his hips pinned to the mattress as you used him to get yourself off, rolling your hips and grinding down on him as his thumb worked your clit in circles, then side to side until you cried out his name, frozen for a moment as your release washed over you, then collapsed on his chest, burying your face in his neck.

You rode out your orgasm with tiny thrusts on top of him. His thumb slowed until he sensed your overstimulation and pulled it away to rest on your hip. You nipped on his neck, leaving a couple red marks on his collarbone. His muscles and tendons were pulled taught and his skin shined with sweat, waiting for you to give him what he wanted.

"Oh," you whispered, feigning innocence. "Did you want to come, too?"

He growled in response, and you felt his cock twitch inside you. You hummed and pushed yourself back up to look him in the eye.

"I didn't hear you," you said. His eyes were dark, and he stared at you before relenting.

"Yes," he whispered. "Please."

You smiled and pressed your lips against his, then murmured against his mouth, "Go ahead."

Like a dam that broke, his hips snapped up into you with a grunt, his pace relentless as he pounded into your sore cunt, gripping your hips and holding you down as he chased his high. You cried out, his thrusts a little painful, but you knew it wouldn't be much longer as his movements became sloppy and he gasped for air. It wasn't long before he groaned your name and yanked your hips straight up in the air, pulling himself out, then brought you back down to pin his slick cock between you both, spilling his release all over his stomach.

"Bad girl," he gasped, making you laugh.

"I don't remember hearing you complain," you teased and gave him a quick peck on the mouth before you stood up to find a rag from your backpack, cleaning you both up and then sliding next to him on the small bed. Joel drew small circles on your back as he struggled to catch his breath. When you moved to stand, he grabbed your arm and looked at you questioningly.

"I have work soon," you explained, "and now I need to shower again." He shook his head and brought your hand to his face, flipping it over and planting a kiss on the inside of your wrist.

"I want you to smell me on you all day," he said lowly and shot you a wink. You blushed, feeling a familiar stir in your lower abdomen.

"Well, in that case, I guess I have a few more minutes to spare," you said, climbing back into the bed, draping your arm over his chest.

Maryanne was very sweet. She was probably in her early 40s, with curly brown hair and thin lips. She seemed very grateful to have the help as she showed you around the kitchen. Another girl, Chloe, was mixing something for lunch in a large bowl while you learned the ropes from Maryanne. She was just explaining to you that the source of their fresh vegetables was from the college campus where they had a greenhouse when the dark-haired guard entered the room. He sent you both a glance and you felt Maryanne stiffen next to you. He made his way to Chloe, touching her elbow and whispered something in her ear. She hung her head and dropped what she was doing as he led her out the door. You looked to Maryanne for an explanation.

"That's Keith. Some of the guards come in here and need our help with other things," she was choosing her words very carefully and the hairs on the back of your neck stood up.

"What kind of 'help'?" you pressed, but she just shook her head and gave you a forced smile.

"It's not a big deal, dear. We all just take turns helping out around here whenever needed," and with that, she returned to the bowl Chloe had abandoned.

You looked back at the door they had just exited, the pit in your stomach returning. You shook your head, telling yourself Joel was always nearby, that you didn't have anything to worry about.

Chloe returned about an hour later, her eyes cast down, avoiding your gaze. Maryanne asked if you wouldn't mind serving the food at the counter today, a task usually assigned to Chloe. You assured her it was fine, shooting one more glance over your shoulder before heading to the counter.

All your worries disappeared when you looked up and saw Joel on the other side of the counter, a big smile on his face.

"Hey there, sweetheart," he leaned over to press a kiss on your lips. "How's it goin'?"

You briefly considered telling him your concerns, but you were already feeling guilty for complaining so much. He looked so much happier and at ease, so you just smiled and told him everything was fine.

Later that night, you stayed awake until he came back around 11pm from his first shift, looking exhausted. He flopped down on his bed and turned his head towards you.

"I missed you," he said, giving you a smile. You smiled back and walked over to give him a kiss, cradling his jaw in your hand.

"How'd it go?" you asked, turning to sit on your bed a few feet away. He sighed.

"Good. Fine. Just mostly walkin' and patrolin' around. Lots of stairs. You'd think I'd be used to the exercise by now," he replied.

"Who did you work with?" you asked, hoping Amy wasn't involved.

"Keith, that guy who brought us in the other day," and you bristled at his name. You opened your mouth to tell him about Chloe, but snapped it shut when you saw he was beginning to fall asleep. You pulled your blanket over you and turned out the light, once again pushing your worries from your mind for another day. You promised him a week, and you were going to see it through.

It was your third day in the cafeteria with Maryanne and Chloe. Chloe seemed in better spirits today, joking around with you as you chopped vegetables as Maryanne was manning the stove, stirring some venison in a big frying pan. You were beginning to feel at ease again, giving Joel a quick kiss after dinner was served before he had to get back to work. You were bringing dirty pans into the kitchen, then froze when you saw Keith leaning against the wall. Your eyes flicked to Chloe. Her head was down, focusing intently on scrubbing a serving spoon. You pushed yourself forward and put the pans in the sink, about to pick up a sponge when you felt his hand on your shoulder.

"Come with me," was all he said. You tried to hide the tremor in your hands. You glanced back at Chloe, but she was avoiding your gaze. You turned to look at him, gripping the edge of the sink so your hands would be steady.

"What for?" you asked, trying to keep the frown from your face.

"I got some work for you," he said. You exhaled shakily as you followed him out of the kitchen and into a hallway. You noticed the corridor was empty and silent as you whipped your head around to try to locate another person. Your heart was hammering in your chest. Something was wrong.

He opened a door and motioned for you to enter. You hesitated, but then saw the gun slung over his back, and forced yourself to walk through the door. You were confused when the light flicked on and you saw it was a broom closet. You turned around to question him when Keith shut the door firmly behind him and immediately wrapped his arms around you, pushing his open mouth on yours, his tongue demanding entry. You shoved him back as hard as you could, but he only stumbled back half a step.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" you exclaimed, backing up and hitting a wall.

"Didn't the girls tell you?" he said, advancing on you again. "I know Amy must've told you," and he grabbed you again, forcing your hand to rub against the growing erection in his pants. You pushed him back again and tore your hand away, your wrist burning after escaping his grasp.

"There's a misunderstanding, I'm with Joel, I'm not interested," you tried to make a move for the door, but he blocked you.

"There's no misunderstanding. This is what all the women do. We protect you, and you give us what we want." He was growing impatient now as he lunged forward, and you let out a scream. He wrapped a hand around your neck, cutting off your voice and forcing your face to look up at him.

"Shut the fuck up," he growled as he fumbled with your jeans. You struggled for air as tears streamed down your face. No, no, no, no.

"Stop!" you gasped, your vision growing fuzzy. He shoved his hand down the front of your jeans and inserted two fingers inside you, making you writhe and claw at his face with every ounce of energy you had.

"Knock it off and I'll let go," he whispered angrily. "If you play nice, this goes a lot easier." Desperate to get his hand off your throat, you nodded. He released your neck and pulled his fingers from your pants, and you bent over to cough, tears and snot streaming down your face and onto the floor.

"Alright, enough. Get up, hands on the wall," he demanded. You must have moved too slow because he yanked you up by the shoulders and whipped you around, but not before you saw the large hunting knife on his right hip. He was pulling your jeans and underwear down around your ankles, and then slid his hand from behind to push his fingers back inside you. You stifled a cry at the intrusion.

"That's it, see? Isn't that better? Fuck," he grunted, pulling his fingers back out to fumble with his belt. You jerked your hand back and grabbed the knife from his hip, jabbing it into his side twice. He let out a surprised yell and fell to the floor, clutching his ribs. You frantically pulled your jeans back up, and still gripping the knife, ran out the door and up the stairs to your dorm, slamming the door behind you.

Joel knocked on the door, entering when he heard Amy's response from the other side. He walked in and glanced around, noticing he was alone with her for the first time. He kept the door ajar and stood as close to the wall as possible.

"What'dya need?" he asked, keeping his eyes pinned on the wall behind her.

"Why don't you sit down, Joel?" Amy replied, giving him a sweet smile from the round table in the middle of the room. There was a large map spread out over the top with a few pencils next to it. He hesitated before deciding to enter the room further, sitting down in the chair across from her. He didn't want to come off as ungrateful for being taken in, but he didn't want to feed into your jealousy, either. She looked at him warmly from across the table.

"You look good, Joel," she said. He grunted and shifted his eyes down to the map.

"What'dya need'?" he repeated, "Ian told me you needed help up here liftin' somethin'." Amy leaned forward across the table and reached her hand out to him. He just stared at it, his hands remaining in his lap.

"Do you think it's fate?" she asked, "what are the chances we would meet again?"

"No," he replied gruffly, glaring at her, "just real dumb luck."

Amy stood from the table, trailing her fingers around the edge before coming to a halt next to him.

"How are you fitting in here, Joel?" she asked, her fingers inching toward him. "Is the work detail ok?"

"Yep," he nodded, trying to lean away. "I'm more tired than I expected but I guess that comes with age."

"Can I help you with anything? Anything to help you relax?" she murmured, her hand running up his arm now. He shuddered and rolled his shoulder to push her hand away.

"No, I'm fine. I should be gettin' back," he frowned, standing up to put some distance between them, but Amy reached her hand out and grabbed his wrist.

"You know, Dave died the very first day," she said.

"I'm sure you'll understand if I don't feel bad about that," he said, pulling his arm back.

"I know. I'm so sorry for what I did to you, Joel. You deserved better than that," she stepped closer and ducked down to catch his eye, batting her lashes at him. "Will you let me make it up to you?" She reached an arm out and palmed him through his jeans. He jumped backwards and swatted her hand away.

"You know I'm spoken for, what the hell are you thinkin'?" he exclaimed, taking another step back. He scowled at Amy when she didn’t reply, his eyes burning and jaw clenched. "You were right, I deserve better, and I got it."

"Oh, Joel, it's not that big of a deal, relax," she said, rolling her eyes. "That's just how it is here. Us girls understand that, don't worry," she cooed, reaching out to him again but he took a big step backwards.

"What the fuck does that mean?" he glowered, fists clenched at his sides.

"Why don't you ask your girlfriend? She understands what's expected, from what I can tell," she smirked.

"What?" Joel asked, deathly quiet.

"The girls here understand there's a price that comes with safety. She's been giving you what you needed in exchange for protection, right?" Amy looked at Joel, confusion written all over her face, as if it were so obvious. He stared at her, shocked at what she was saying.

"You're tellin' me all these men here are havin' their way with the women, against their will?" His eyes narrowed at her, and she scoffed.

"Oh, come on! They all understand! It's not ideal but it's better than getting ripped apart by those... those things!" she exclaimed, getting heated and waving her arms. "You don't think that girl's been sleeping with you without any ulterior motive?"

"Fuck you, you don't know shit about her," Joel swiveled around and swung the door open. He stormed down the hallway to head back to his post when she called after him.

"I might not know her, but I'm willing to bet some of the guys here do!"

As he pounded down the steps, fuming, he had a sudden realization. If the men here are used to taking advantage of all the women, then it was only a matter of time before they approached you. His chest squeezed as he made his way up the stairs two at a time, running to your room as he glanced at the time. It was just past 7, you might be back by now. He ran down the hall when he saw the light on under the door, slamming it open.

You were hovered over your backpack, frantically shoving all of your clothes and belongings into it, struggling to make them all fit. Your hair was a mess and your clothes disheveled You swung around wildly when you heard the door whip open. You had a huge knife covered in blood in one hand as you stumbled backwards, your face streaked with tears.

"It's me, hey, hey, hey! Calm down, what the fuck happened? Whose blood is this?" He knelt down in front of you and you flinched, tucking your knees into your chest, your grip tight around the handle of the knife. You rocked back and forth and shook your head as fresh tears fell from your eyes. Then he saw the marks on your neck.

"What happened?" he asked quietly, dreading the answer. He was too late, he was too late.

"H-he tried," you sobbed, covering your face with your free hand. "He t-tried- I can't- I n-need to leave," you scrambled up and skirted away from his outstretched hands, going back to furiously packing your bag. You weren't sure what you would do for weapons but at least you had the knife.

"Stop for a minute, will ya?" he said sternly, and again you flinched but you stopped, staring down at the bed and avoiding his gaze.

"Did someone hurt you?" he asked, softer now. You gave a quick nod and kept your eyes pinned to the bed. You could sense his body stiffen beside you, but he remained patient.

"Where did they hurt you?" he finally managed to croak out, bracing himself for the answer. You bit your lip so hard you thought you drew blood as hot tears silently streamed down your face.

You couldn't bring yourself to say the words. Couldn't grapple with what happened. All you knew was you needed to get out, get far away from here before his body was found.

"I think you know where," you whispered, squeezing your eyes shut.

Joel's vision went blurry and he fell to his knees on the floor, clutching his chest. His heart was racing and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His hand shook as he reached out to the mattress to hold himself up, his vision narrowing as he gasped for air.

"Joel?" you said, worry laced in your voice. But he hardly heard you. All he could hear was buzzing and the rapid pumping of his heart. He couldn't believe he let this happen. You told him you didn't want to come here, you told him you had a bad feeling, and he didn't listen. This was all his fault. He left you alone after he promised not to. His one job was to keep you safe, and he failed. How could he not see? How was he so blind? You trusted him, and he led you right into the lion's den.

And he was going to kill them all.

"Joel?!" he heard you say, more panicky now. "Joel, please, get up. Please!" His vision cleared and his heart beat slowed a fraction, his chest eased with the realization of what he had to do to fix it.

"Who?" he growled, and you froze, his tone scaring you.

"It doesn't matter. I took care of it. We need to go now, before they find out. Joel!" You called his name as he stood up and headed to the door.

"I'm going to kill every last one of them," he said, his hand on the doorknob.

"Joel, please," you whimpered, a sob rattling in your chest. "Don't leave me. Please, Joel." He sighed and dropped his head, his hand falling from the door. Here he was about to make another stupid mistake. You fucking idiot. Of course she can't be left alone.

He turned back around to you. You were standing next to the bed, your arms wrapped limply around yourself, your eyes bloodshot, lips and nose beet red from crying.

"Did you kill him?" He needed to know. He needed to be sure the man you did this was dead, or he would never be able to move on.

"I'm pretty sure, I didn't stick around, but I stabbed him twice in the ribs, there was a lot of blood, I guess..." you trailed off, unsure now if he was dead or not.

"Alright, let's get our shit and we are walkin' out of here together. I know where our weapons are, we can grab 'em on the way, hurry up." He went to the bathroom and grabbed what little items you both had, stuffing them into his bag along with a few shirts he had folded in a dresser. They didn't bother to confiscate your food, so you were lucky in that regard. He tugged his jacket on and tossed yours on your bed. Once you were both ready to go, he led you out into the hall without a second glance back.

On the main floor he headed towards a small office in the corner, the makeshift armory where all the weapons were locked up for patrol. He tugged your hand in that direction, only pausing when you passed by the broom closet. You winced and turned away at the blood that was seeping out from under the door. He could feel his chest tighten again, but he took two deep breaths, and he felt the tension easing.

"Stay here," he murmured to you. You clutched at him wildly, scared to be left alone. He firmly placed his hands on your upper arms, and crouched down to your level so he could look you in the eye.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, sweetheart. I'm right here. I'm not gonna let anythin' bad happen to you," he inwardly cringed, thinking he already let so many bad things happen to you, but you just nodded, swiping away the tears that fell down your cheeks.

"Give me the knife," he said, and you handed it over, rubbing the heels of your hands deep into your eyes.

Joel swung the door open and saw Keith slumped against the wall, bleeding out. His face was the color of ash, and his eyes were barely open. Joel squatted down in front of him and tapped under his chin.

"Look at me," he said darkly. Keith's eyes fluttered before focusing. When he realized it was Joel, he smirked, and Joel felt his blood run hot.

"Hey, man, I don't blame you," Keith coughed, blood dripping from his mouth. "I don't blame you for keeping her to yourself." Joel ground his teeth and his nostrils flared. "I just... I just wish I got more than a couple fingers in her." Keith gasped out the last words, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

Joel reached forward and picked up Keith's right hand, stained with blood.

"These fingers?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. Before he had a chance to respond, Joel flattened Keith's hand on the ground and cut off his pointer and middle finger, quickly covering his mouth when he howled and writhed in pain. Blood spurted everywhere as Keith desperately tried to clutch at his new wounds, but it was no use. Joel could tell the man was losing too much blood. Even if anyone found him, they wouldn't be able to save him. He stood up and watched as Keith's eyes lost what little light was left, then his ragged breathing stopped, his eyes still open.

Joel turned and looked up and down the hallway before focusing his gaze back on you. You clearly had heard the exchange, the room was not very big, but you didn't say anything. The urge to pull you into his arms and soak up all your pain was overwhelming, but he knew he needed to get to the armory and get you back to safety. Night had fallen outside, it was dark enough where you would be able to sneak away unnoticed.

After collecting all your weapons, plus some extra ammo, the two of you crouched by the exit. Joel tilted his watch so it shone in the moonlight, noting the time and trying to remember the patrol schedule.

"Alright, we should be fine. They are patrollin' the east side of the building. You ready?"

You nodded vehemently, and he cracked the door to take a peek, just in case he was wrong. He stepped out and swiveled around for a moment, knowing his presence outside the building wouldn't be abnormal at this time. He nodded to you, and you squeezed through the door before following him into the night, towards the cover of the forest.

Chapter Seventeen

Tag list: @chiogarza, @sparklejumpropequeen-777, @shotgun-shelby

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller series #joel x reader #joel x reader smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us game #the way we were joel miller fic

243 notes · View notes

bfiaflbox · 3 months

Text

The only time I feel I might get better

Pairing: Matty x Reader Warnings: Mentions of Drugs, drug use, alcoholism and recovery Disclaimer: All I know about this is second hand knowledge and things I googled so don't get mad when I get something wrong. I just thought this scenario is an interesting one and wanted to type it out. I kind of hate and love it at the same time.

It‘s around 11 pm when your doorbell rings. You were about to go to bed and were definitely not expecting visitors, so you‘re hesitant about answering. The doorbell rings again. „Y/n, are you there?!“ you hear a familiar voice shout. It’s Matty. In the middle of the night. Frantically ringing your doorbell. This is not a good sign.

You open the door to a disheveled looking Man who seems like he‘s about to cry. He‘s breathing heavily and fidgets with his hands. „I fucked up“ he almost whispers. Without asking any questions you let him in and go into support-person-mode.

The second the door closes behind Matty, he starts rambling. „Fuck, I‘m sorry, I’m so SO sorry. I'm so fucking tired, I can't think. I fucked up. I don’t know what came over me, I just couldn’t fight the urge to use anymore so I went out and…“ tears start falling down his face.

„Okay, okay, breathe!“ you try to convey as much calm as you can and look him in the eyes. You notice he doesn’t look particularly high or out of it just… sad and tired. „Is it ok if I touch you?“ it’s the most important question in this friendship of yours, however fucked up and complicated it may be. He had to ask before he could touch you every time not to trigger something in you, and you extended the same courtesy to him. He nods and you start to stroke his arms. „How about you come in and we talk?“ and maybe calm down before going to see a professional about it.

He nods and both of you make your way to the living room and sit down on the couch. Matty buries his face in his hands, elbows on knees.

„Okay, Matty, tell me what happened“

„I don’t know, I haven’t really slept in days and I feel so drained and everything‘s too much and I just wanted something to make that feeling go away, to feel some peace and smack was the only thing I was able to think of. Fuck! This is bad. I don’t want to do this again.“ you know the feeling all too well. „Fuck. I couldn’t even score myself, the guy selling knew who l am so I paid another junkie to do it. I'm so pathetic.“

„Have you consumed any?“

He shakes his head. „I didn’t. I couldn’t. I came here instead. I’m sober right now. Please believe me“

„I do, I believe you“

He‘s pressing his palms into his eyes, probably a desperate attempt to stop the tears.

„Do you still have it?“

„Jup“

„Go on, hand it over“ you extend your open hand. He can’t have it near him. It’s like the first rule of addiction recovery: remove temptation. It‘s what he did for you when he got rid of all the alcohol that you were gifted early into recovery by people who didn’t know about your addiction. It‘s what he kept doing for you over the years, being there with you, frequently checking in during family gatherings, work events and birthdays, occasions that were typically linked to alcohol consumption.

Matty reaches into his pocket and produces a small packet of tinfoil wrapped in plastic and hands it over without question.

„That all?“

He nods

„Right, ok. I‘m going to dispose of this in the kitchen, do you want some tea?“

„Yes please“ he chokes out.

You go into your kitchen, put the kettle on and get the opioid disposal process started. How to get rid of heroin is one of the many things you had no idea of before your friendship with Matty, but now you know exactly what to do: you get out a glass from the cubboard, fill it halfway with water and dump the contents of the little packet into it. You go to your fridge and see if you still have any lemon juice left and find some that you forgot you had which also smells rank. Doesn’t matter, it will do. You add the juice to make the opioids dissolve in water like you learned in a fucked up chemistry lesson you would only get from a sober heroin addict and stir. Then you get a ziplock bag and go to the hallway cubboard where you store cat litter for exactly this occasion. You fill a good amount of the cat litter into the ziplock bag and return to the kitchen, take the heroin-lemon-water and dump it into the cat litter. It produces an absolutely disgusting looking brown mass, rendering the opiates completely unsalvageable. You zip up the bag and throw it in the trash.

When you come back to the living room from the kitchen, two mugs of tea in hand, you find Matty laying down on your couch, blanket over his legs. You put the mugs down on the coffee table and sit down on the floor in front of the couch. You reach your hand to his face and stroke his cheek with your thumb. He sighs and absolutely heartbreaking sigh.

„I know“, you whisper. And you do. You know how hard it can be to be a recovering addict, being on the brink of relapse.

Matty seems to calm down a bit. He's stopped crying and you just sit with him and the emotions in silence.

„Thank you“ he whispers after some time.

„Always“ you reply softly.

„Can I stay?“

„You know you can“, you smile.

He audibly exhales and timidly asks „can you please not tell George?“ oh yes, the accountability system. No keeping secrets, owning up to your mistakes, making sure you don’t isolate, etcetera, etcetera. It‘s not an official program, more like a thing you both came up with on your own.

„You know I have to tell him, it‘s part of the deal, remember?“

„I know, but I want to tell him myself.“

„Okay. But I‘m gonna make sure you do!“

„Tomorrow?“ he sounds so drained and exhausted.

„Tomorrow“, you agree. You don’t think you‘d have it in you to ask anything of him that he doesn’t want to do. You’re soft like that for him.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, admiring his face. His annoyingly handsome, lovely face and his slender but strong body. You long for him. And you long for him to get better. If only you could crack open his ribcage and personally fix everything that gives him grief, you would do it.

„I‘m so sorry“ he whispers again.

„I know. Trust me, I know“

„I feel like this right here is the only place where I can exist without judgement“, he admits and it makes you proud that you managed to create such a safe space for him and at the same time it breaks your heart knowing that the world is full of people watching and judging him. But truly, you feel like you‘re only returning the favour. He‘s been there for you through the worst parts of your life, always turning up for you when it mattered. A part of you fears you might no longer be here had it not been for him.

„Maybe here with you is even the only place I might get better… being with you makes me feel less helpless“

„Next time just come over without stopping at the dealer‘s before, yeah?“ you joke but on the inside your heart is burning. You want him and you want him to want you.

Matty smiles and you can feel him relaxing even more. Your hand is still tangled in his hair, thumb still stroking over his cheek. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. He‘s exhausted and his body is begging for sleep. „It‘s okay, you can sleep, I‘ll stay here“ you say softly and you‘re not sure if he heard you because all his muscles are relaxing and he‘s lightly snoring, seemingly fast asleep.

You just sit here and watch him. You think about that one time he told you he didn’t feel worthy of any love or affection coming his way which makes you acutely aware of all the love you hold for him, that you don’t know where to put, that has nowhere to go. You wish you could tell him. Tell him that you‘ve never loved anyone like you love him. That you feel like you‘re missing an integral part of yourself when he‘s not there with you. That you love every part of him, even the ones he himself hates, that his vulnerability only makes you respect him more.

It is there and then, sitting on your living room floor in front of your couch with a sleeping Matty on it, that you decide you‘re gonna tell him. Tomorrow. You lay your head down on the couch, telling yourself you‘re only going to rest your eyes a bit before you fall asleep as well.

Little do you know that when Matty wakes up from a weird dream in the middle of the night and finds you asleep in what must be an uncomfortable position on the floor next to him, he decides that in the morning he is going to get over himself, be brave for once and just tell you that he loves you.

#matty fic #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #the1975fanfic #matty healy x reader #this is horrible but whatever

110 notes · View notes

klausysworld · 7 months

Note

Heyy I love your work I was wondering if you could do a klaus one we’re the reader is a bit chubby and all of a sudden she started wearing long sleeve and oversized stuff and nobody rlly noticed until they had a party or smth and she wears a dress and when they see here there all rlly shocked cause they didn’t notice how she a lot or weight in like a span of 2-4 weeks and she hasn’t eaten for like 2 days before the party

This one-shot will contain triggering content around eating disorders including both anorexia and bulimia. Please don’t read this is you feel it may upset you or harm you mental health. I’ve had personal issues around this area and know it can be hard. Don’t hesitate to reach out 🤍

Too much or Not enough?

Y/n had struggled with weight as a child, and as a teenager. As a result she had a difficult relationship with food and clothes.

She was naturally a little curvier, but what some people saw as gorgeous another saw as an opportunity to poke fun. And so she grew up hating herself and those around her who would highlight her insecurities.

As she grew out of adolescence and into adulthood she lost a little weight. She went to the gym excessively and ate barely anything. It was unhealthy but in her eyes it was her best option.

She still had her curves but they were complimented more than they were judged but even when people said ‘good’ things about her body, she just saw it at mocking. She would have kept losing the weight but she ended up passing out at the gym and having the paramedics called. They told her she needed to keep a balanced diet and take care of herself and as much as she didn’t want to, the fear of being that embarrassed again haunted her.

So she ate some what regularly for a while but ended up with two fingers down her throat to get it all back out.

She would have carried on that way if it weren’t for the Mikaelsons.

She had ended up being wrapped into the supernatural world and suddenly there were so many other problems in her life that food was almost forgotten.

Between a temperamental pregnant Hayley, overly dramatic Rebekah, pissed off Elijah, furious Marcel, war raging Klaus, power-hungry witches, territorial werewolves and bloodthirsty vampires, Y/n didn’t have much time to focus on herself. Especially not after Hope was born.

The stress seemed to make her hungrier, she would go days without any food and then eating as much as she could to ‘keep herself going’.

She didn’t really realise she had put her weight back on, she assumed running around after everyone would have been enough exercise.

And when Klaus had shown interest in her, when he had kissed her and laid her heart out on his sleeve well she assumed she must have looked good. Someone like him wouldn’t go for who she used to be, right?

And so she gained a small amount of confidence until the supernatural communities began to calm down and it seemed people were more attentive.

Y/n was able to go out more, whether it was with Hayley, Rebekah, Davina or just by herself. And that’s how it circled back.

One or two comments on her figure from men made her wear baggier clothes. An awkward moment with Hayley and Rebekah when the girls went shopping and Rebekah unintentionally made a quip on y/n’s size. Apparently a dress that looked good on Hayley wouldn’t be nice on ‘someone like Y/n’. She had brushed it off and told Rebekah it was fine when the blonde began apologising but inside it was anything but fine.

Even if she hadn’t had any malicious intent or meant it in any offence, it tore up old wounds and brought back something much deeper rooted.

And then when things started to kick off again and Klaus payed y/n less and less attention or affection, she assumed it was because she was no longer attractive to him. Had she gained that much?

So she did what she knew would work.

She forced herself to the gym as often as she could for as long as she could. Drank as much water that was available to her and ate the bare minimum to keep her conscious. Throw up anyway meal that she did happen to consume and have a packet of gum handy incase she got too hungry.

It was even easier to do once Hope was around more, Y/n was often asked to look after the baby while the rest of them took on the new foes and unexpected family members.

When Klaus, Elijah and Marcel had announced there would be a party to celebrate the defeat of a common enemy, Y/n began to worry. The last time she had to dress of for one of those things she was much bigger than she had thought. Looking back on pictures of that evening persuaded her to gag and cough up to the point where she was only throwing up water and blood form how she had torn her throat inside.

Even Hope could sense the change in Y/n’s behaviour when she looked after her. But nobody else did, everyone was too busy to realise.

Klaus had barely looked at her let alone touched her to realise that she had done down 2 clothing sizes and yet was wearing t-shirts triple the size they would need to be. None of the girls payed enough attention to see the bags under Y/n’s eyes or to notice her absence each morning when she would struggle on a treadmill for hours on end. Only Hope, someone who wasn’t even a year old, would give Y/n the hug she so desperately needed.

———————————————————————

It was the day do the party, Y/n stared aimlessly at the dress she had chosen the week before. If she were honest she planned on not going at all, nobody would notice anyway. But then Rebekah came in all bubbly demanding that she know what colours people were wearing she they didn’t clash in photos.

Photos.

Y/n learned to despise them. “The camera adds 10 pounds” she was told by her mother when she was young and it was something she reminded herself every time a flash went off.

So she needed to make sure she looked okay.

She scrubbed her skin raw in the shower, shaved every last hair from her legs before moisturising them and the rest of her body. She avoided any full body length mirrors and focused on her face, covering every flaw possible. Her hair was pulled to be half up half down, leaving pieces to frame her face and still give her enough volume.

She managed to get the dress on that was now a little loose on her, which she should have been worried about but she couldn’t help but feel relieved. The zip went up effortlessly but even so, she didn’t want to step outside of that door. So she stayed on the edge of her bed, her nails licking at the material of her dress as she hoped the night would pass by without her.

She had no such luck when Hayley came knocking on the door

“Y/n? Are you okay? The party started a while ago” she called through the wall and Y/n pinched her own skin desperately

“I don’t think I’m gonna come down…I’ll just keep an eye on Hope” she replied

“Hope’s dressed up and downstairs with Klaus at the moment, you don’t need to watch her, come have fun!” She told her brightly and Y/n could feel herself getting hotter as the nerves poured in

“Parties aren’t really my scene” she responded softly “maybe next time okay?” She tried again but Hayley was getting persistent

“Oh come on, there’s music, drinks, food. Have you eaten yet? Come on we’ll go get something” she encouraged but that only made it worse. Y/n had made sure not to eat anything the last 2 days so that there was zero chance of any bloating and she wasn’t about to ruin that.

“I ate earlier” she lied and Hayley sighed

“Try make an appearance? If not for me then for Rebekah or Klaus” she asked and Y/n could have scoffed. As if either of them had cared less that she was there.

Well so she assumed.

Unfortunately for her she was proven wrong again when the door hand was twisted and pulled, a frustrated groan coming from the other side of the door when they realised it was locked

“Y/n?” Klaus questioned “come out” he ordered and she had the sudden urged to suffocate herself with a pillow.

“I’m going to sleep” she mumbled, though she was still dolled up and sat against the headboard but it wasn’t like he could see her.

“We can fix that, open the door and I’ll grab you a dress” he told her and she pinched the bridge of her nose

“I already have a dress” she muttered in defeat, Klaus wouldn’t walk away as easily as Hayley.

“Perfect. Put it on.” He grumbled “Rebekah needs you in the photo” he added and she nodded, of course they needed to keep their image up.

“I don’t want to be in the photo anyway” she murmured and he groaned

“Just do it” he complained and she reluctantly stood up.

She plodded her way to look in the mirror and yet despite the makeup on her face, she just looked tired. It didn’t matter anymore though, she looked bad in pictures either way, may as-well know it this time.

Just as Klaus was reader to break the handle off the door, it was clicked open and Y/n was looking up at him through glassy eyes.

Klaus’s expression dropped almost instantly when he looked at her. The dress was loose around her body in all areas, her arms thinner than usual making him frown and reach a hand out to grab ahold of her wrist. His eyes locked on hers and his lips parted in shock.

She assumed he was thinking she looked awful, was the dress too small again? Was she too big? She could feel her face heating and her eyes filling with tears. Her breathing grew more laboured and her hands began to ping at the fabric around her to make it seem baggier.

Klaus quickly pulled her into his room so nobody could look up the stairs and see them. He stroked her hair gently as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to stop any tears from falling.

“Sweetheart” he whispered quietly, guilt beginning to rise in him. People didn’t loose this much weight this fast. He knew he had been distant the last month but that was to keep her safe not to make her sick, was she I’ll and not told anybody? Or was this something much more?

He feared for the last one as he rubbed her back soothingly while small sniffs lift her and panicked apologies flooded form her lips.

“Why are you sorry my love?” He murmured gently.

“I just wanted to be pretty” she uttered and his heart ached for her. “I tried really hard” she whispered “it wasn’t enough”

“Y/n…” he murmured as his arms held her a little tighter “you’re always pretty, you’re beautiful and bright” he told her “don’t change anything about yourself for anyone else ever”

“I did it for me too” she mumbled and he nodded hesitantly

“Yeah but…this isn’t the way” he whispered and she sniffed

“It’s the only way that works” she argued

“Love, what have you been eating?” He asks and she frowns

“Why does that matter?”

“Because there’s a difference between eating healthily and not eating enough” he told her and she began to grow more upset at his tone

“I eat too much” she utters and he sighs, he placed both hands on her shoulders and looks down at her

“Nobody thinks that” he whispered, his eyes locked on hers as though it would make her listen better. “Not eating at all is as bad as eating too much, we can find a good balance” he persuaded

“I’ve tried balanced diets, it doesn’t work” she shakes her head frustrated

“I’ll find you a better one” he decided and she lets out a laugh

“Why because I suddenly matter enough? If you only just realised that I’ve lost the weight when we live in the same home then Im clearly not worth-“

“Stop” he whispered, a crack in his tone “do not do this to me and do not do this to yourself” he let out a breath “I wouldn’t ever want this to happen to you, I care about you. I was just leaving you out of all the darkness and the pain, you weren’t supposed to bring it to yourself” he snapped. His eyes were hard though he didn’t mean to appear so angry as tears freely flowed down Y/n’s face and a sob let her lips.

At the sound of her cries, Klaus’s bedroom door was opened rather suddenly. A concerned Elijah stepped inside, his eyes falling to Y/n and his brows furrowing as he noticed his brother trying to apologise. Then he noticed the differences from the last few times he had seen her and he picked up on what was happening pretty quickly.

He closed the door behind him and came forward, coaxing Y/n out of Klaus’s arms and into his own.

“Would you like a smoothie my dear? We’ve stocked the kitchen with fruits recently” Elijah murmured softly, his chin on top her head as he glanced to an upset Niklaus. Y/n frowned in confusion at the offer and at the calming affect Elijah seemed to have over everyone. He wasn’t really the hugging type but it was nice to experience one. She didn’t reply but he kept talking “how about I go and get you a smoothie while Niklaus helps you out of this dress? I’m sure you can wear one of his shirts for bed hm?” He lifted her chin up to look down at her. She blinked at him unsure as he tried to convince her further “I’ll bring Hope up as well?” He offered and she nodded slowly.

Elijah gave a look to Klaus and both brothers began to move. Elijah rushed off downstairs and Klaus grabbed one of his henleys. Y/n kept her eyes on the ground as Klaus’s fingers gently undid the dress

“I’m sorry my love” he whispered as he let the material drop down to the floor making goosebumps arise across her skin. His lips pressed to her shoulder softly before the warmth of his top was pulled over her head and her arms were pulled into the sleeves. His arms slid round her waist gently and his nose buried into her hair.

She kept quiet, eyes down as he unclipped her curls and let it all fall loosely around her face. Soft kisses planted their way up her face as Elijah returned with a smoothie and a straw.

Both brothers guided her to sit up on Klaus’s bed before sitting either side of her. Gently she was pulled into Klaus’s lap and the straw was brought to her lips

“The cup is only half full, the rest of it is in the fridge for tomorrow if you should want more” Elijah tells her with a reassuring smile

Klaus brushed his hands along her sides gently as she reluctantly drank what she was given. Both brothers continued to speak of random topics to keep the attention off of her as she took small sips as slowly leant back against Klaus’s chest.

15 minutes later Hayley came by and dropped Hope off, both she and Elijah left, leaving Klaus, Y/n and Hope to snuggle up together with the silent promise that at least Klaus and Elijah and most likely the rest of the Mikaelsons would be helping Y/n find a happier,healthier state of mind and body.

(I hope this was what was wanted, I didn’t go too deep into the topic and still wanted it to have a relatively happier/promising ending. If a darker message or ending was wanted then I would be okay with trying to write something similar for anyone out there. I understand the struggles with eating disorders and also with self harm and just mental health in general so feel free to message or request, anything at all :))

328 notes · View notes

yeeehwa · 7 months

Text

Shock and Awe {1}

Mafia!ot8ateez x fem!reader

wc: 2,523

warnings: blood, violence, mc is a badass who does injure ateez, swearing, guns, splinters, gunshots, if i forgot anything please let me know

a/n: This is a post from the result from the poll i posted last week, and i honestly had a lot of fun writing this. this is severely unedited and will be edited either once it's done or the poll decides that i do it. I prefer everyone to go in blind, so there will only be a warning and no summary before every chapter.

✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　✼ ✼　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　 ҉　

Forks of lightning split the sky, illuminating a shadowy figure for a moment. San jumped, seeing the silhouette out of the corner of his eye as he silently stalked the hallway. A clash of thunder and another flash of the brilliant light illuminated the same space. He stood there for a moment, gun in hand and pointed at the shadows. His pulse quickened as the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. After a moment, he shook his head, convincing himself that it was just the dim lighting of the sconces on the wall and the storm playing tricks on him. It doesn’t help that tonight was a big night for all of them.

“Clear,”his voice echoed down the hallway after his moment of hesitation.

You smirked from the shadows, relieved that he didn’t register he had actually seen you. Perched on one of the wooden beams on the ceiling, you observed as more men slunk into your home through the windowed double doors, silently pushing them open. The water pooled on the floor as they shook off their clothes, jackets being shed and left out on the balcony that the doors led out to.

“Let’s get in and out, okay? I hate being here.” Goosebumps erupted over Wooyoung's arms as a gust of wind burst through the room as the doors were silently shut. “That’s not ominous or anything,” silently joking to the others.

The tall man next to him smacked the back of his head, causing Wooyoung to wince a bit and rubbed his head. “Unnecessary.”

“Your commentary is unnecessary. We should’ve left you back with Hongjoong and Yeosang.” Mingi retorted dryly.

Yunhos voice came over their communication link. “I had the urge to shoot you just now.” His eyes looked through the scope of his sniper as he perched from a building across the street. “I almost did.”

Something had tickled the back of your mind at the mention of the names. It was like an itch you couldn’t scratch, familiar yet not. You shook your head free of the distraction. It’s something you couldn’t dwell on with intruders in your home.

The group of men, five of them you counted, fanned out, slowly making their way to the intricately carved wooden doors at the end of the hallway. You noted that they knew exactly where they needed to go, and watched as they entered the room, stupidly leaving the doors wide open behind them.

A slight static noise sounded in your ear. “Eyes on the targets?”

Thunder rumbled, making the house shake and giving you the opportunity to respond. “Five of them. Came in through the East wing balcony. Heading towards the Boss’ office.”

“We have eyes Y/N. We know they do too. Stay in the shadows. They’re watching” a pause. When he spoke again, you could hear the smile that he had on his face. “For now.” The static noise was gone after that, contact between the two of you cut for the time being.

Soundlessly, you rose from your concealed position and moved deftly across the wooden beams, mirroring the movements of the men below. Your steps were calculated and precise as you trailed them, keeping pace until they disappeared into the doorway to the other room. As they left your sight, you reached up, extracting the vent cover that opened into the network of air ducts.

“What the fuck are you doing?” HaJoons voice crackled once more, tinged with static.

“What does it look like?” Came your retort, an edge of annoyance mixed in with your response.

A sigh from him triggered a smug look from you. “It looks like you’re about to cause a lot more trouble than you need to.”

You hoisted yourself into the ducts, waiting for another roll of thunder to place the vent back in its proper place. “I’m just following orders.” you began your short military crawl through the ducts. You had the layout of them memorized for years, always using them to your advantage, which is how your family found out you had a natural talent for spying.

Another sigh. “Your orders were to watch and report.”

“I am watching, and I am reporting. I’m not making contact unless told.” You reached your destination, grunting quietly as you maneuvered yourself into a crouching position and expertly removed the vent. “I wait for your signal.” You pressed a button on the side of your comm link and cut contact, until he decided to reestablish it.

“You’re a pain in my ass Y/N, I hope you know that.” His exasperated voice came back.

You rolled your eyes, opting to stay silent and observe, watching as the tense atmosphere of the room under you rose up to your perch. “Boss said if they find the door, you go in and I cut their camera access. Got it?”

Slightly huffing, you nodded slightly, knowing he’d see it, and you heard the background static of HaJoon disappearing, signaling he was gone.

Your head tilted, eyes narrowed and calculated as you watched them examine the room. Large, expansive bookcases lined the walls. Books you knew were all for a show of wealth and knowledge. You had been the only one to really touch and enjoy the books in years. The only sound came from the thunder of the storm that raged outside and the slight shuffling of feet on the floor and them moving things around.

You subconsciously tensed up as you saw one of them get closer to the bookcase that held all your family's secrets. Behind it sat a safe, where endless information about the goings ons in the family, all your safehouses, informants information, etc. were all locked in that safe. You knew countless other organizations were looking for it, trying to take you down and topple your control of the city. These men were no different. Only this time, they succeeded in opening the bookcase. A clicking noise after moving a certain book had you moving into position, and flashing a smile at the cameras, knowing whoever was watching you would see, and pulled your neck gaiter up over your nose. You stood, half of your foot hanging over the edge of the beam, and you let yourself fall.

Yeosangs eyes narrowed at one of the monitors that held his access to the security cameras. “Capt-”

“I know.” Hongjoong walked up behind the younger man, hands resting against his control panel. He examined the monitors that had gone black. “Can you play it back?”

A nod followed, and a series of rapid keyboard clicks resulted in the restoration of the image. The screen displayed their team members. Seonghwa, his demeanor almost nonchalant, kept a watchful eye on the group, his attention caught when Jongho uncovered a false-shelf, showcasing a safe behind it. A series of exchanged glances ensued, but in a small, shadowy area near the ceiling, he saw movement. It was slight, but his heartbeat sped up as his gut told him something was wrong.

He gestured to Yeosang, who promptly put a small earpiece in his outstretched hand. He swiftly inserted it in his ear, ready to give a warning. “Someone is in there with you.”

Yunhos voice came over their link. “Are you sure? I haven’t seen anyone Joong. Even from here.”

“I’m sure. Yeosang and I saw something move on the cameras. You’re being watched.” His eyes stayed on the monitor that he saw the movement in, and he saw it move again, a pair of eyes staring right into the camera, crinkled, almost as if giving it a smile. “Fuck” and then, as if scripted, the screens went dark.

“Get out of there.” Hongjoongs command echoed through all 6 of the links. “Eyes went dark.”

“What about the-” the youngest tried to ask.

“I don’t care about that shit right now! Get out! Retreat! Whatever word I need to say to get it through your thick skull!" Hongjoong's order cut through the tense air, driven by a mixture of worry and exasperation.

All eyes locked on Seonghwa, who nodded once, determination on his face. “Okay. We go. Be ready for anything.” He locked eyes with each of them, and reached for his pistol. The others followed suit, eyes shifting around the room, senses on high alert.

Clashes of lightning briefly illuminated the room. Yunho was having trouble keeping his scope on the others, carefully keeping watch, when the lightning illuminated your figure quickly dropping from the ceiling. His finger was quick on the trigger, and a muffled crack echoed in the air.

Seonghwa jumped, feeling the wind of the bullet whizzing past him. “What the hell Yunho!?”

“Hongjoong was right. Someone is in there with you.” He stopped as he watched you land on Mingis shoulders, wrapping your legs around the tall man and using your weight to propel you both forward. You flipped the large man over, dazing him momentarily, gun clattering somewhere into the shadows.

You used the same momentum to roll yourself into a standing position, which ended up with you face to face with a man with very cat-like features, holding a gun aimed at your stomach.

Your eyes scanned him up and down as everyone froze, the atmosphere tense, and they tried to figure out what to do. Your eyes locked with the man in front of you. The next words that came out of your lips were muffled, but they heard them all loud and clear. “Hey Sannie.” Looking into his eyes for that second, had made that connection click in your mind.

His eyes widened, showcasing confusion at your greeting. You decided to act fast, bringing your knee up in between his legs and wrestled the gun from his grasp in one fluid motion. You turned your back to him as he fell, groaning in pain and holding himself.

The only parts of your face that was left uncovered lit up when a series of thunder and lightning lit up the otherwise dark room. A wicked smile painted your face as you saw the eyes of the others widen.

“Way to make an entrance,” Wooyoungs snide remark made him your next target. You feigned left, and swiftly diverted right, foot making contact with his arm as he swiftly blocked it. His hands wrapped around your ankle, smirking at you as you felt arms wrap around you from behind. They had you locked in an iron grasp, but you smiled, realizing that the person behind you slightly lifted you off the ground, making the foot you had stood on, free to kick.

You kicked Wooyoung in the stomach, eliciting a loud "oomph" as he released your leg and bent over in pain. The arms around you remained locked, but you swiftly dropped to the ground, shifting your weight. This movement loosened the iron grip around you. Thrusting your upper body forward, you flung the other man over your shoulder, and he crashed into one of the expansive bookcases lining the wall. You couldn't help but grimace, silently apologizing to your future self for ruining one of your favorite sections of books.

The hair on your arms stood on end, and a gut feeling urged you to move. You obeyed, and not a second later, a whizzing sound indicated that a bullet had just been fired where you had stood moments ago. You tsked at your assailants and quickly assessed the last remaining man, recognizing him as Jongho. A small knot formed in your stomach as you heard the distinct sound of a gun being cocked, its barrel now aimed at you.

"You're going to step aside and let us through," Jongho said with a cold, unyielding expression that tugged at your heart momentarily.

Ignoring the feeling, you rolled your eyes and decided to taunt him. "What's wrong, Baby Bear? Can't face me like a man?"

Internally, Jongho winced at the nickname, a moniker he hadn't heard in years. After they had parted ways, he had made it clear to the others that anyone who called him that would regret it. They had wisely complied. His current objective was to keep you focused solely on him. Your back was turned to the other men you had subdued, but they were slowly getting back on their feet. San was making his way toward the safe behind you.

You smirked at Jongho and lunged at him. Shots were fired, and a stinging sensation coursed through your right bicep, but you pushed through the pain. You had a job to do. Attempting a right hook, you caught him off guard, allowing you to wrap your legs around his neck as you propelled yourself upward. You brought both your hands down onto the top of his head, trying to stun him. He staggered slightly and then slammed your back into the wall, causing books and splintered wood to rain down on you. Gasping for breath, you were momentarily winded by his maneuver, which gave him the opportunity to strike again, this time successfully stunning you.

Behind you, you heard movement and the unmistakable sound of a lock being clicked. Turning your head to look over your shoulder, you saw Wooyoung and San rushing out of the safe, carrying bags slung over their shoulders. They also supported Seonghwa and Mingi, helping them make a swift exit while Jongho remained to deal with you.

Jongho reached up, landing punches on your side and back, causing excruciating pain to shoot down your spine. A slight buzz of electricity had you bracing yourself. The shock never came, but the sensation of being slammed onto a massive desk made the edges of your vision go hazy, and you were certain you blacked out for a moment.

You lay on the shattered desk, feeling tiny pinpricks of pain running down your spine, convinced you'd have dozens of splinters in your back. At some point, your mask and hood had fallen, revealing your face to the men.

Your eyes fluttered open slowly, meeting a pair of large brown eyes. Jongho held his side, supported by San, waiting for the others to rush out the door and onto the balcony from which they had entered. Recognition briefly flickered across his face before he turned his back on you, leaving you behind as he limped out the door, favoring one leg.

As the members returned to their waiting van, the atmosphere remained tense. Adrenaline coursed through their veins as they grappled with the aftermath of the fight. San broke the silence, asking, "How did they know my name?" The question hung in the air, intensifying the uncertainty.

Seonghwa spoke up, his voice carrying the weight of realization as he stared down at his hands. "It was Y/N."

The van's engine roared to life, the sound of tires squealing on the wet concrete serving as background noise. Each of them was lost in thought, pondering the mention of your name. The rain picked up again, and Seonghwa watched the raindrops slide down the window, wondering how Hongjoong would react to the news that they had finally found you.

274 notes · View notes