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pretty-little-mind33 · 3 months

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Begin Again

James Potter x fem!reader

Summary: James has been persuing you for years and you've never said yes, until now?

Genre: Fluff 😇🎉 (bc i love happiness, ur welcome)

Warnings: misunderstandings, lovesick!James <3

It's not James's fault he's been head over heels in love with you for longer than he can remember. And it's really not his fault either that he's spent years acting like a complete and utter fool just to have a sliver of your attention.

Talking the loudest in any room you're in? Easy.

"Accidentally" flying too close to where you're sitting in the Quidditch stands while he's supposed to be playing just so he can flip around obnoxiously? He's done that over three times now.

So, when he hears you'll be at the Three Broomsticks this evening, it isn't surprising to anyone that he convinces Sirius and Remus to accompany him.

The moment they walk in, their loud demeanor makes everyone turn their heads. It's no secret James, Sirius, and Remus are the handsomest guys in your year — so no one could blame you when you look up too.

Your friend digs her elbow into your side when James sees you looking and struts to your table. You sit up, taking a long sip of your pumpkin juice as James leans in and crosses his arms.

Sirius and Remus stand behind him, amused. "Ladies," James winks, his eyes focused only on you. "What brings you here on this lovely Friday evening?"

You turn your head, avoiding his gaze with a small smile that makes James lose his mind, "Nothing that concerns you, Potter,"

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asks, unfazed by your bluntness as he motions to your empty glass.

When you stand, James smoothly moves out of the way and you send him a look behind your shoulder. "Mm, no thanks. But if you want you can walk with me to order my own drink," you joke, not thinking he'll actually want to.

But, if James was a puppy, he'd be your puppy. You have him wrapped around your little pinky and the only person who doesn't see it is you.

"Gladly," The boy smirks and his arm brushes yours as he walks next to you. You frown a little but don't say anything. You've never minded James's attention, and you know he's been after you for years now, but still you can't wrap your mind around him being serious about it.

In your mind, the attention was always bound to fade with time, and you wouldn't be caught as the fool who'd fallen for it.

However, as you lean against the bar to order another pumpkin juice and you feel James's eyes glued on you, you start to wonder.

"So, when's the expiration date for this little game?" you ask, looking at him seriously.

James leans against the bar too and completely turns his body to you. "Hmm? What?" he asks with a smile. He tucks the loose strand of hair from in front of your eyes behind you ear, seemingly proud of himself when he can see you clearly again.

"This," you point at him, and then throw your arms up dramatically, "Whatever it is that you're doing."

James just smiles. He's not really catching on as his hand slides closer to yours on the bar counter. "What am I doing?" he whispers, leaning in. He has that look in his eyes, the one that makes your stomach flutter.

You move your hand away from his. You sound exhausted, "All this flirting! Aren't you done yet?" you say it a little loudly and the woman who hands you your drink sends you a glare. Your cheeks heat up and you mumble a small sorry as you slide her your money.

James catches your other arm before you can turn around and walk away from him. "Hey wait, what do you mean am I done? Do'you want me to be done?" he sound unsure and you can see his confusion on his face.

Now you're confused. "Are you not planning on being done?" you whisper.

James can't hear you over the loud music and chatter inside so he moves you outside gently and you don't have to time to wonder why you let him.

It's slightly dark but the air is warm and James can hear you now when you ask the question again. He looks you over, still extremely puzzled by the entire situation.

"Wait, done with what?" he asks.

You blink at him. "What?" you feel like you're losing your mind.

"Am I done with what?" he asks camly and you roll your eyes.

"Done with flirting with me!" you exclaim, running a hand in your hair, "I- I don't understand, James. Why haven't you moved on? Sure, it was funny for a while but it's been years, even you must find the joke stale by now?"

James mouth opens and closes like some kind of fish and then he stares at you like you have lost your mind. "Joke? What joke?" he says and walks a little closer to you. He sounds even more confused. "Y/n, do you want me to stop flirting with you?"

You bite your lip, "I mean, yes? Because, it's not really funny anymore. I didn't mind it, Potter, but —" you pause and then hold the drink in your hand tighter. "Okay, here. What if I say I like you too? Can we just have a good laugh about it and then it all be over?"

James's frown deepens and he waves his arms in the air. "Wait, you think I'm joking?"

You blink at him again. "You're not?"

James runs a hand through his hair, chuckling in disbelief, "Of course I'm not joking," he walks even closer and you feel his presence as your skin tingles. You look up as he brushes his thumb on your chin and then smiles warmly, "I'd never pursue anyone as a joke. If you said you like me, then I would say thank Merlin and then I would kiss you until you couldn't feel those gorgeous lips of yours," he says it so calmly but you almost drop your drink.

"Wait, so you actually, no-jokes, like me?"

"Oh yeah. Why would you think I was making that up?" James moves his thumb to brush over your lips now, a look of adoration in his eyes, "I'm not that committed to my jokes," he teases.

He pauses to think, "you think a twelve-year-old boy would write you cheesy love notes every class and actually send them if it was a joke? Or likewise, a sixteen-year-old would spend all of 6th year reading every single book you borrowed from the library just in case he had the chance to impress you? Or lose sleep over the way you wear your hair, or know that you change your nail-polish every week but you rotate the same colors since 4th year," James blushes a little at the admission and pauses, "and now I just sound like a creep, don't I?"

You laugh and the sound makes James grin. You hesitate but touch his cheek, tilting your head, "So, you meant every over-the-top gesture and every hilariously stupid pick-up-line?" you ask, "ever since 2nd year?"

James nods, leaning into your touch. "Mmm yeah, but we can pretend that I was joking about the pick-up-lines that way it's less embarrassing for me," he says sheepishly.

"But I liked your pick up lines," you pout with a smile, your shoulders relaxing.

James's eyes sparkle, "Yeah? You did?"

You smile at him. "No, but now it's funnier that you were serious about them."

James looks at you and he laughs. He throws his head back with a grin and your chest tightens even more. Has he always been this handsome or have you just never let yourself fully admire him? James looks at you again and his next words almost cause a heart attack. "Merlin, I've never wanted to kiss you as much as I do now,"

Your eyes flicker to his lips unconsciously and you realiz ehow close he is. You're nervous now and James can tell. Gently, he takes the drink in your hand and sets it on the small ledge of the building. It might fall but that's the least of your worries. For now, you need to focus on remembering how to breathe.

Something must be different in the way you're looking at him because James asks you if he can kiss you. Years and years of flirting and he's never asked you that.

You don't answer him and just when the silence starts to become awkward you take his cheeks in your hands and pull him towards you. Your lips hit his clumsily and you gasp into his mouth when his arm swoops behind you and he pulls you closer. James kisses you hungrily and you start to wonder why you hadn't done this years earlier.

When James disconnects his lips from yours and looks at you sweetly. "I didn't think you'd say yes," he whispers, "even less that you'd say it like that," his cheeks are tainted pink and your lip-gloss stains his lips.

"Neither did I," you admit and look away a moment. Goosebumps run across your arms and, because you don't know where to put your hands anymore, you put them in your jacket pockets. You frown and pull out the galleons you'd used to pay for your drink with your left hand. You look back at James and he looks guilty. "What's this?" you ask.

"I paid for your drink when you weren't looking. I knew you'd most likely say no again but I couldn't resist. I'm sorry," he holds his nape and sways on his feet.

You stare at him, slightly annoyed but also impressed that he'd put the money in your pocket without you noticing. You outsrech your open palm for him to take the money. "You'know, you make it very hard for me not to fall head over heels in love with you, James Potter."

James grins and closes your hand around his. "That the point, love," he says.

You roll your eyes, realizing if he'd gone behind your back to pay for you he'll never accept your money now. "So, are you gonna ask me out properly or what?"

James smirks, "Are you going to say yes this time?"

You grin, "You'll just have to find out now, won't you? Tenth times the charm?"

"I don't think that's the expression—"

"Just ask me already, you idiot," you giggle.

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juniperstale · 1 month

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BOYFRIEND ATSUSHI

⋆ boyfriend atsushi headcanons ⋆ atsushi x gn!reader, use of they/them pronouns ⋆ [sfw] fluff, lowercase intended, kisses, reader teases atsu a lot

· before the two of you started dating, you were paired up to go on a job together, newbie atsushi and you · he was nervous to say the least and could barely speak to you, partially because he was anxious that he would mess the job up, partially because he was intimidated by you and your very pretty face · you were very understanding though, reassuring him that he was doing a good job, making conversation to distract him from his anxiousness and protecting him every time danger got even slightly close to him. it honestly just made him even more flustered, heart beating with an unfamiliar emotion that he thinks he should ask dazai about

"you fell them already?" dazai asked, a chuckle escaping his lips as he reminisced about his similar experience. "wait, what do you mean fell for them?" he questioned back, confused. "well you said that you can't maintain eye contact, your heart speeds up and you can't properly talk with them around. sounds like you have a crush to me." he stated casually, watching atsushi put two and two together, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks at the thought of you. "you're right..." "of course i am."

· it takes atsushi a few days to build up in enough courage just to speak to you · he nervously makes his way to your desk, taking a deep breath in before asking your how your day was going. · leave the boy alone he's trying to make conversation in an attempt to befriend you · when you look up at him from your desk, a smile on your face as you laugh at his question, atsushi's heart speeds up again as he throws his original plan of befriending you, then asking you out, then being your boyfriend out the window

"do you want to get lunch with me?" he asks, peering down at you. "wow atsu, haven't even told you how my days going and you're already changing the topic?" you ask playfully to which he breaks his eye contact with you, flustered. "is it a date? getting lunch with you?" you continue to mess with him as he lets out a sigh this time. "nevermind," he mumbles, starting to walk away as you panic and grab his hand. "wait, wait don't go! i'd love to go on a date with you atsu."

· it took two more months before you became official...

(actual headcanons time!)

· boyfriend!atsushi who keeps a photo of you in his wallet and jumps at the opportunity to talk about you to anyone who asks about it (talking about you is literally the best ice breaker for him)

· boyfriend!atsushi who runs hot and will immediately hold you (or just your hands if your in public) if you mention being cold

· boyfriend!atsushi who is still scared to initiate anything with you and will always ask for permission first

· boyfriend!atsushi who leans back in after a kiss, always wanting more

· boyfriend!atsushi who feels bad for always spending your money and tries to be more financially responsible (bc he spends all his money on food) so you can rely on him more

· boyfriend!atsushi who learns to cook your favorite dishes so he can he treat you whenever you crave it or when you have a bad day

· boyfriend!atsushi who cuddles with your pillow, wearing your shirt every time your sent on a job without him, trying not to let all the bad thoughts get in his head

· boyfriend!atsushi who you always take time to reassure before the mission, telling him how you're going to be fine and how he is as well. place kisses all over his face, the last one on his lips before you take your leave to make him feel just the slightest bit better

· boyfriend!atsushi who trains hard everyday so he can protect you and make you feel safe, the same way you make him feel

3.24.24 ⋆ theres something about this layout i really, really don't like but i can't place my finger on it. also second post and i still feel just as nervous as last time, when does this feeling go away?? also, also thank you so much for almost 500 notes (?) on my first post omg, getting that much in just one week is crazy and im so grateful!

#ੈ✩‧₊˚ junis tales #bsd #bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #atsushi x reader #atsushi x male reader #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x male reader #bsd headcanons #atsushi headcanons #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs headcanon

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opis-writing-nook · 9 months

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Characters:

GN!Reader, Luka

Pairings:

GN!Reader x Luka

Warnings:

Mix martial fighting, mentions of bruising, make outs, hair pulling, lip biting, very little grinding, heavily implied that both parties are aware of the others feelings and return said feelings but never actually asked each other out officially, canon divergence, Luka and reader gently bully each other as a way of flirting, fluff at the end

A/n:

I barely know anything about professional fighting, so there will be inaccuracies. I made the reader more dominant/assertive bc that's what I write for. There's little to no info on Luka so he'll probably be ooc by the time we learn more about him but ehhh.

This fic was inspired by this playlist on YouTube.

_____

It was Tuesday, which means one thing: sparring with Luka.

Both of you had converted your basement into a gym a few years back, it had cost you a fortune, but you told yourself it was an investment for your career. Couldn't keep your job if your skills weren't sharp, training is important if you want to keep moving up in the ranks which would mean you would get better pay.

The better you were paid, the better you could live without having to stress about money. Maybe if you saved up enough you could eventually set up a retirement fund.

Music played faintly in the background as Luka, your childhood friend, and you were sparring in the ring. Luka had just landed a punch on you, but you could take anything he dished out.

"You punch like a bitch," you dodge Luka's next punch with a teasing smile, leaving his back exposed, and quickly jabbing your fist in-between his shoulder blades and are rewarded with a painful grunt. "You're leaving yourself too open, Lulu."

"Eat shit and die." Luka scoffs in mock annoyance at the nickname, both you knew he adored the name and wore it with pride, he quickly readjusts his stance before swinging again and grazes your left shoulder. "Can't help that I got my new arm, not used to the weight just yet."

"Yeah, yeah, fuck you too." You laugh as you sweep his legs, knocking him on his back due to his new arm throwing off his balance. "One…two…three…you're out!"

You pause to admire the forming bruise on his jaw, eyes trailing down his neck then torso, licking your lips as you make a mental note to give him some ointment and cold packs in a bit.

Luka grunts as you straddle his waist, panting heavily from the fight while trying to reorient himself after the wind was knocked out of him, he swallows heavily as he looks up at you with half lidded eyes.

He can't help but laugh as you lean closer to his face before pulling him into a bruising kiss, the way you bite on his lip makes him shudder in excitement, if this is what happens when he loses a sparring session with you he might have to lose more often.

Both of your bodies flushed together on the mat, your fingers tangled in his pretty red hair as you deepen the kisses in a languid fashion, giggling as his hands grip your hips like a lifeline. Each tug of his hair earned a needy whine that you greedily swallowed up into the messy kisses, lazy rolls of your hips to tease him and are rewarded with desperate keening sounds.

You break away after what seems like forever, panting softly as you admire Luka's dopey lovesick expression, before kissing his forehead gently and miss the way his eyes flutter.

Carefully, you get up and grab the usual post workout supplies: first aid kit, cold packs, medicine, towels and drinks.

"Listen, we'll keep goin in a bit." You lazily sat down beside him, tossing a towel and drink to him before opening the first aid kit. "But first we need to get all this post workout stuff dealt with or neither of us will be fighting this week."

"Fair enough," he snorted before taking some medicine, knowing if he didn't take it now he would hurt worse later. "I'm in you capable hands, darlin."

#.opis writing #.sub honkai star rail #.sub hsr #sub honkai star rail #sub hsr #hsr luka #luka honkai star rail #Luka hsr x reader #hsr luka x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #.hornhy hours #i genuinely don't know how to tag him for this

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thedevilsoftruth · 28 days

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my violent heart.

" I was a very bad man who did very bad things. "

Pairing: Marc Spector x Afab Reader.

Summary: The day before Marc Spector attempts to raid Khonshus tomb for money and is eventually betrayed by the Bushman.

Warning: Marc Spector before he served Khonshu, porn with little plot, rough sex, unprotected ( don't try this at home ) dom!Marc, nonviolent gun play, car sex, drunk Marc, blowjob, squirting, gaging.

Title is from My Violent Heart by Nine Inch Nails.. Mostly based off of Marc in the comics bc we need more comic MK smut.

Marc Spector was a little bit greedy. Not only that but totally not a man anyone should have been going to in their time of " need ". He was a little bit frantic that day. Not scared but nervous. Apprehensive about something that he wouldn't explain to you. But whatever it was, you didn't care. You were there for one reason and one reason only.

The fogging up of the windows in his car spoke it all. it spoke just how needy you were and just how angry he was. His growling as you rolled your hips forward and back onto his shaft, your pitiful cries as you stuffed your face into the crook of his neck. His hands searching all over you, your nails digging into his shoulder as he whispered out curses into your ear. It all spoke of nothing but desperation and showed just the extends you both would go to just to feel something.

" Marc.. so f-fucking g-good" You moaned out into his skin, eyes rolling into the back of your head as he took your hips into his hands and took control. He began rutted forward into your heat, faster than you had been going before. You had been going for a couple rounds already, and you were certain that would be the last one.

He hummed into your, kissing your neck softly before biting down on the skin, Inflicting a small yelp out of your lips. He thrusted forward urgently like you were his tiny little fuckdoll. It was hot and humid in his car, but so loud you were sure anyone from fifty miles away could hear. Broken cries and choked moans were the only things coming out of your mouth.

" fuck, you're so loud. Is it that good? Is it so good that you feel the need to fucking deafen me with your damn whining? " He inquired teasingly into your ear, trailing his lips down to your perky breasts where he took one of your hard nipples into his ravenous mouth.

" Marc... S-slow down. Can't take it. " You whined out, biting your bottom lip and scrunching up your face in pleasure. He chuckled darkly.

" you're such a crybaby, you can take it. Plus, you were the one begging me in my messages to fuck you tonight. You get what you ask for, slut. " He grumbled, flipping you over on your back on his leather back seats and diving back in from there. As he was pounding you into oblivion, he reached his hand into his bag on the floor and pulled out a black hand gun. Your eyes widened when you saw it, but you knew he wouldn't actually use it against you.

He ran the cold metal down your stomach with a smug smirk on his face. He was so clearly boozed out of his mind that the only thing on his train of thought was sex and violence. His thrusts were starting to get inconsistent and sloppy, as he felt your pussy clenching around him tightly and signaling him you were about reach your peak.

" so t-tight. F-fucking whore, cum. All over me. Fuh--ck. " He moaned, clearly way too fucked out of his head. He was too far gone. Too lost, and he wasn't finding his way back. He lowered the gun in between your legs, and started rolling the muzzle of the gun around your swollen clit, making you gasp and your legs jerk unexpectedly. Then he found that spot in your cunt that was able to send you flying, and rammed into it as fast as he could, throwing his head back and groaning loudly as he fucked you into heaven. His heaven. His own fucked up interpretation of whatever pleasure was.

He cocked the gun and looked down at you, seeing the worry but pure pleasure etched out onto your pretty features. He wasn't actually going to shoot it, but It was enough to motivate him, to get him to explode. You reached behind your head and put your hand on the slippery glass of the window, his cock hitting every single inch of your tiny pussy repeatedly that you so badly needed to be touched. It all became too much for you, and then you finally reached your limit. He pulled out the second he felt you spilling out, but this time you didn't just cum--you fucking squirted. All over his hairy chest.

" shit... " He mumbled, staring you awestruck. " You know what?... Come here. " He said calmly, sitting down on his lap and patting the spot next to him. You did as we're instructed and say down on your knees beside him. " Suck. " He said simply, showing you everything he had to offer. So, you did as told, once again, and took his erected leaking tip into your mouth. You slowly bobbed your head up and down his lubricated, slippery shaft, inflicting low moans from him. You rose back up to his tip and licked your tongue all around his wet skin before you drove back down. You kissed and licked the side of his thick rod, taking him in again and timidly going down and up his cock. But you guessed it wasn't enough, because he huffed loudly and harshly curled his fist into your scalp.

" you're fucking useless. " He degraded under his breath, taking control of you once more and harshly pulling your head half way down his shaft. You immediately began gaging as he pushed past your gag reflex limits, holding your head down there for several seconds before you looked up at him and tapped him twice.

" no. " He said, pulling your head completely off of himself. " you're going to take it again. " He commanded, pushing your head back down again, but this time not as far as the last time. You whimpered and began gaging and choking once more, eyes becoming watery as he brought your head forcefully up and down his greedy dick. He was fast, too fast to keep up with. But at the end of the day, he was able to finish. Right into your mouth of which he made you swallow his hot spend. He let go of your head and zipped his pants back up. He didn't look at you for the rest of the very few seconds your were in his car, he was staring at his gun.

" now get out of here. I have business to take care of in the morning. "

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sovonight · 8 months

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what's exhausting about bg3? I know me and a few others haven't been able to get it bc we're poor and I wanted your take on how it's exhausting if you don't mind

i called it exhausting for ace reasons so if you're not super ace you'll be fine. i do have other disappointments though:

visual character customization is lacking

like okay i'd bought the game blind so my disappointment is 100% on me, but can you blame me for assuming based on posts of people raving about the customization options and saying they 'made their oc' that there would be a fully-fledged cc with sliders for facial features and everything??

what you get is just a set of like 8 preset faces (for human/elf/half-elf/tiefling/etc at least) and 2-4 body options. there's an impressive amount of hairstyles at least, but what the fuck does that matter if i can't even really customize my character's face. there's not even much you can do with the textures--you only get a palette of pre-approved colors instead of a color picker, there's no option to flip or translate tattoos/facepaint, and you can't even layer makeup textures. the ui design here is very clunky too which just underlines how low of a priority it must've been

on one hand i get it, this all costs time and money and they clearly had a lot on their plate with the actual meat of the game, but on the other hand my character gets the most closeups on the camera in dialogue/cutscenes, so why can't i do more with their appearance?? the character customization possibilities everyone raved about really just boil down to class, stats, & numbers, so basically more like arpg character building, where it's more about gameplay than the character

don't get me wrong, the race/background/class you pick do influence dialogue options, but i can't do something as standard as sculpt my character's face?? are you kidding me?? like, if they're not gonna let me do that, then what the fuck are all these high res glossy graphics for?? everyone else in this game gets a unique look except for me, huh? if they care that little they might as well turn this back into a text-centric game and let me import a custom png for my character like in the old days

there are a few points in the game where i was like, they really took the trouble to write and pay a voice actor to voice responses based on player actions to that level of specificity… when that time and money could've been put towards the cc. like yeah it's impressive, but it's empty. i don't need this character to voice my exact actions--i KNOW i took those actions--i want something of worth to me.

navigating the map is kind of a pain

you use the keyboard to control the camera, and you use the mouse to click where you want the character to go. the issue i have with this is that the camera is SO frustrating to orient and zoom in and out sometimes--they go through great pains to try and not show the insides of any 3d models while you're moving the camera, and they'll cut away the rooftops and other levels for you, but sometimes the game just Doesn't Understand What I'm Trying To See. like they've made it so ~elegant~ and ~presentable~ that it gets in my way. i constantly feel like i'm fighting the controls--not just of the camera, but the movement too. tbf, i don't know how this could be made better so i think what they did was the best solution, but i do get very frustrated

there's no undo button if i click "hide" by accident

unlike literally every other button on the hotbar, there's no "click again to confirm" or "right click to cancel". they just instantly hide and that bonus action is WASTED

you can enable tutorial-like informative popups, but they forget to teach you some of the most basic ways to interact with the world

there's a heavy rock at some point that's "too heavy to throw" but is clearly meant to be interacted with. …you're supposed to click and drag to "drag" it away. i had to look up what to do with it and i'm not crazy because MANY people had the same question!! not to mention those small tunnels around the environment where your character's like "well I'M too large to fit in there" and i'm like "oh i'll summon my tiny familiar and have them scurry in there!" only for the tunnel to be like "uh your familiar can't interact with me actually". so i give up because i'm over it at that point and i go online hours later to look it up and SOMEONE SAYS YOU CAN SEND YOUR FAMILIAR THROUGH THE TUNN-- (at this point i have keeled over in rage)

you can press left alt to highlight interactable items, but they only highlight what they think is important based on their own mysterious criteria. you have to sweep around like it's an i-spy game to figure out ALL the interactables in the area

i would like this if the CAMERA WERE EASIER TO OPERATE and if--actually no! no! i would NEVER like this! either highlight everything or highlight nothing at all, don't waste my time! i understand that some stuff is left unhighlighted so that the characters can roll perception checks and go "OH! a hidden lever!" but JUST TELL ME OUTRIGHT WHERE THE CRATES ARE. i play with an unavoidable glare on my screen and also, frankly, i have better things to do than squint and pick out every item in the room. let me get my meagre satisfaction from looting and be done with it!

there is absolutely no firm indication of when you might be stepping into an exclusively romantic or sexual line of dialogue

i would like this if i could turn the sex off. like set sex to no. i'm a fan of not having too many dialogue indicators or visible approval bars, BUT ONLY when i know i can relax and feel comfortable in the game. this game loves suggestive wording so i can never tell whether a scene could just be played platonically or not. like (early spoiler) gale invites you to a private magic lesson that he says can only take place in an intimate setting, so you meet him after the party, alone. given the other conversations i'd just experienced (from the fighter & the vampire) i was like great this is going to be sexual isn't it, but i was weak and wanted character interaction so i gave in and i went--and then IT WASN'T??? in fact you could play it totally platonically?? so i almost MISSED a perfectly good companion interaction because of the overly suggestive way it was worded!

"sovo are you sure that isn't just gale's personality to say it like that" YES BECAUSE EVERY COMPANION EXHIBITS THIS. it's woven into the companions, into the narration, into all the word choices. it's just a suggestive game all around, the atmosphere NEVER goes away, even when it's just a false alarm. it's part of why it's so ABSOLUTELY exhausting--because i know every other person playing this and seeing this is having a blast, and i'm the only one out here with my guard up and 10 layers of emotional shielding because i CAN'T like any companions because they're GOING to proposition my character at some point and i WILL take emotional damage when my only options are "yes let's enter a fully animated sex scene!" or "no i fucking hate your guts". do you see?? do you see my pain?? where is the middle option--the compromise?? and oh yeah, the rest of the real life world thinks my complaints are baseless, ridiculous, and avoidable. "just don't fucking play, idiot!" but do i not deserve to have fun as well? can i not get a CRUMB of something in a world where i have to make everything myself?? just once, can i play a game and have it fit--not perfectly, but at least fit??

just give me the heart icons of da:2/da:i. tell me when i'm walking into a flag i don't want to raise. better yet, when the game asks whether or not you want nudity enabled, add an option there to opt out of romance too. i say romance even though all i want is to opt out of the sex dialogue options bc as we all know romance and sex can NEVER be separated--

anyway those are my gripes. the things i like about it are… well, there are a few fights where i was like, oh that's cool that it actually uses the environment and/or teaches you a mechanic about the game that you can put into use later. the environmental puzzles are interesting, but all satisfaction is lost when i have to look up the basic mechanics they rely on that i was never taught or made aware of in-game. but i don't play games like these for gameplay, i play them for the story and the companions and the romance, so given this specific game i guess i should just keel over and die

#sovo answers #kind of holding out hope that i can make it to sorcerous sundries to see it in 3d but since that's near the end and #i haven't even left the first map.. i'm not optimistic

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dogbunni · 1 year

Note

dude your nendou HCs?? on fucking point.

anyway!! if you'd like to: nedou and saiki! friendship hcs!

OUGH friendship hcs??? let's see

[sits bolt upright as my eyes start flickering and emitting light] [several nendo&saiki headcanons are projected onto the wall]

-nendo is an extreme extrovert and saiki is an extreme introvert. now we've all heard of extrovert/introvert friendships and how the extrovert adopts the introvert and yes absolutely nendo did adopt saiki but also get this: nendo is an extrovert who struggles to make friends. he is loud and crude and not super smart and most people find him a little off-putting. saiki on the other hand is an introvert with an insanely high stat in charisma for no fucking reason and most definitely against his will. people are drawn to him despite his best efforts to push them away. therefore nendo and saiki are the dream team. they compliment each other. nendo's unlikeability keeps the normals well away from saiki, whereas saiki's baffling magnetism attracts the weirdos not put off by nendo's nendoness. nendo finally has the friendship group of his dreams, and saiki gets his likeability score tanked every time nendo calls him "pal". incredible.

-theyve been friends long enough now that they can do that weird BFFL thing where they can finish each others sentences and guess pretty accurately each others train of thought. this caused a crisis for saiki bc for a minute he thought nendo actually could read his mind.

-when I say saiki can pretty accurately guess what nendo is thinking I mean that nendo is pretty much always thinking about ramen

-nendo however will have real conversations with saiki where saiki says nothing. not even with his telepathy. nothing. nendo just knows through BFFL magic what saiki would say. saiki loves this, despite being a bit scared that nendo is always right on the money

-sometimes saiki indulges nendo's weird impulsive thoughts. they're both teenage boys. saiki is repressed, but also a silly little guy at heart. he has pushed nendo down a very steep hill in a shopping cart, while nendo stood upright in it, T-posing and screaming the whole way. he fell out and split his lip on the pavement.

-they play saiki's weird bargain bin games together. you can't convince me that they don't.

-they absolutely bully each other and yes it is a love language. sometimes you just need to tell your best friend that he is ugly and a freak of nature and that is okay <3

-they clown on saiki's dad together. saiki likes the challenge of pranking kuniharu without using his powers. nendo just likes seeing kuniharu suffer

-they once bought up every single coffee jelly for miles and then had a taste testing tournament involving a sticker chart to find the best coffee jelly factoring in best quality for money. granted, saiki did a lot of the heavy lifting for this one, but nendo enjoyed putting stickers onto the chart. it holds the record for the most saiki has ever smiled in one day

-once kusuke came over and tried to pull some bullshit while they were hanging out and they just looked at each other and then started throwing shit at him. like;

kusuke: KUSUO I HAVE COME TO EN-

kusuo: (throws TV remote at his head)

kusuke: TO ENGAGE YOU IN-

nendo: (throws a half eaten sandwich at his head)

kusuke: IN A BATTLE OF W-

kusuo: (throws a water bottle at his head)

kusuke: OF WITS- STOP THROWI-

nendo: (throws his chair at his head)

this only ended bc kuniharu thought it looked fun and tried to join in. they then started throwing things at him instead.

-nendo got them matching "I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND" t shirts. saiki has never worn his and never will but nendo wears his fucking constantly

-saiki retaliated by getting t-shirts that said "IM WITH STUPID" and "IM STUPID" on them. jokes on him tho bc nendo loves that shirt too.

#@fixation-central i hope this suffices #also thank u <3 #i love nendo #nendo posting #saiki kusuo no ψ nan #saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k.#nendo riki #nendou riki #saiki kusuo #tdlosk

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sugar-omi · 8 months

Note

Incoming ramble I wanna hear you’re thoughts on this cause it’s been on my brain for a little bit and it’s got me in my feels

K so I forget if it’s in the step 3 prologue or in the Drive moment but either way when on the topic of Cove leaving for Nevada every now and again and choosing how your MC feels about it there’s the option to choose that it makes you sad and nervous specifically because the little 8 year old in you (who remember was probably HORRENDOUSLY lonely) was scared that Cove was gonna leave and never come back

Now that option alone already gets to me (cause I relate to it hard cough cough) but just imagine the MC actually confessing to Cove about that fear!! Obviously the MC doesn’t want to make Cove stop going cause yknow he’s literally going to see his own mom but MC also can’t deny that there’s that sad lonely little kid inside their head who just doesn’t want to be left alone again so they’re kinda just stuck in the dilemma. But soon enough after feeling well enough to admit it they finally tell Cove about it and get to actually work it out!!!

It just- AUGH ITS GOT ME EMOTIONAL MAN I CANT-

cove would actually feel so relieved omg bc it makes him sad too and he misses you, ofc ik he says that no matter what but I think he also worries abt leaving n nevering coming back

very traumatized from the move after his mom n dad divorced n he tried to run away bc he missed krya, yk 😟

reassures you that he'll always come back, and that if that did happen he'd prbly try to run away to see you LOL

would offer to take you with him!!! if you're dating ofc you need to work it out w his mom a bit more than necessary but she wouldn't mind if you stayed over or came to hang out w them

I imagine krya spends a Lotta time at work anyway since she can't be on leave the entire time he visits, so she'd be relieved that he has someone to keep him conpany

he talks abt you so much anyway, it's like you're basically there w them already

if you can't or don't want to go with him, he'd video call you sm more

sends lots of pictures n texts and voice messages

tells you basically everything abt his day and sends gm and gn texts

NO VOICE MESSAGES

omg...

coves sleepy, raspy voice saying "good morning" (

sounds like this, would even call you sunshine like sonny did!!!😭😭

I'm falling apart

mmm if he's gone a long time he'd prbly even come see you, or meet you half way

which is stressful bc he has a long drive but he would bc he's crazy abt you

omg gives you a shirt of his.

BUYS MATCHING SHIRTS

omg and asks you what you're wearing every day until you say that shirt n he wears it like "omg!!! what a coincidence!!!!" babe we know u did it on purpose PLEASE

sends you flowers

n by send you flowers I mean asks his dad to pick up some flowers and deliver them to you

sends his dad money too but cliff would prbly pay for them once or twice bc he thinks this is so chge n send the money back to cove so cove is like "dad!!!" n just makes an order on his card bc his dad is so stubborn😭😭

cliff is actually in love w your guys relationship he's so happy,,, pls

I should write some hc's on how cliff feels abt you guys dating bc my man's is so happy!!!! pls. OK anyway

OMG YOU VIDEO CALL N EAT TOGETHER

will ask what you're eating n have the same thing if he can

OMG HE PICKS UP ONE TIME AND HE'S RUNNING ACROSS THE STREET N HES LIKE "WAIT DONT EAT YET I GOTTA PICK UP THE FOOD"

n you can just see his chin, the sky and then it's like kinda black n then for some reason u can see the floor and then he's like "sorry" and he starts running back to his car AGAIN

and so he delicately places the phone down n is panting n just goes, "sorry. I'm ready now" *throws his head back* "omg gimme a minute... man. climbing thru your window really came in handy"

KISSES THE SCREEN

big "mmmmwaahhh!!!"

or tiny "mweh", no in between

falling asleep on the phone too

WOULD TUCK THE PHONE IN.. OMG STOP IT

he's totally normal abt you I swear

#olba #cove holden

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bloogers-boogers · 10 months

Text

Another AU cause my ao3 still ain't working 🤪👊🏼 (I'm screeching rn)

Anyways, Au where Cartman and Kyle go camping for their one year anniversary! (Of being boyfriends; Cartman's just being extra)

Kyle wondered around the place while Cartman unpacked his stuff, they had arrived like an hour ago, so he's just being extra cautious if there's no one else around and to examine his surroundings just in case of anything.

He also brought his bag with him, just in case Cartman decides to snoop around his shit and find something he's not supposed to see.

Yes, he may had thought Cartman's plan in going on a camping trip was a little extra but he himself was just as much. The thing is.. he had planned on proposing.

Yes, it may be soon but Cartman was in no position to say no to him. It not that he is being too desperate but by this point it felt like it were ages since they we're together.

And yes, Kyle may sound crazy at the age of eighteen proposing a long life commitment to his already forever partner, but he had already made up his mind! He liked having things secured just like getting accepted in to Harvard and saving up money for his college tuition.

Honestly, the fact that he managed all that while ALSO dealing with Cartman is admirable.

He has managed to see Cartman's growth in character, he's never been more proud of him, and that says alot.

However, as happy as it was for him to hear the news that Cartman was accepted in to Columbia the worry still ate him alive. It's not like he's overly possessive or dependent on Cartman but the idea of being a couple of miles away from him not being able to see each other for who knows how long (bc of their new schedules/ distance) and knowing It's inevitable for Cartman to meet new people, and with how overly social Cartman is makes him feel a little uncertain in the strength of their relationship.

Not that he believed Cartman would ever be unfaithful to him... but nonetheless make him his husband! And keep them snakes away while he's not around.

So having his relationship secured by a signed up piece of paper and some rings will do for now while they manage to settle things down in their new lives as college students, a perfectly logical solution.

On the other hand Cartman was preparing his own little secret plan, and that was... suggesting to become a college drop out for the sake of moving in with Kyle and never leaving his side. It's not like he was dependant on Kyle It's because he NEEDED him. Two completely different things.

However, he also knew Kyle would never let him doom his future like that over him, and mostly now that he knew he was accepted in to Columbia. Even though he was mostly encouraged because of a bet, it did excite him that he was in fact, successful. The idea of actually accomplishing something for his own benefit that's in a way rightfully something to be proud of is new for him. Kyle's smile when he read him the acceptance letter, the words he used to congratulate him..

"KYLE I FUCKING GOT IN! BABE! I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!? YOU SEE THIS?? FUCK, BABY LOOK!"

Cartman kept showing his letter like some excited puppy to Kyle over the millionth time that same minute as Kyle smiled slyly while shaking his head unamused by his reaction.

"I knew you'd get in, you were already very smart before actually putting your ass in to it."

Cartman blushed recalling that moment, somehow making Kyle genuinely compliment him and proud just made him so happy. It's was quite selfish of him to throw all his efforts away and putting to waste Kyle's encouragement on continuing to pursue a great future for himself. But in all honesty, his future with Kyle seem further greater than some degree.

But maybe it wasn't entirely bad...

Normally Kyle would help him with these tough choices, which is why he needs Kyle! What happens if he goes into some crisis over there and doesn't have Kyle around for help/ guidance?

Who's gonna cuddle him at night when he gets a nightmare? Who's gonna kiss him gently in the forehead and reassure him everything is going to be alright after a really bad episode?

The idea of Kyle not being around scared him... what if he meets somebody over there? What if he finds issues in their distance relationship? What if he leaves him...

All of that just piles up on his insecurities.

He hates the idea of ever leaving Kyle's side cause he knew he deserved better, and that maybe the distance would make him realize that sooner.

So these two idiots began doing the activities they planned for the trip. They swam in the lake, they ate lunch, they walked for hours, a lot of small pecks here and there, hand holding, and dancing alongside the music from Cartman's car. The night began to arise and they fell inside the back of the car laying there while watching the dark sky with now bright stars covering it at whole, their legs dangled out while they giggled and talk about nonsense almost to midnight.

At a point they look at each other getting lost into their eyes. Inevitably smiling like dumbasses.

This was it, this was the chance they could...

"I want to marry you"

"Let me be your drop out daddy"

#kyman

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tua-five · 9 months

Text

Ok I'm rewatching the umbrella academy and it got me thinking. When Luther got the message that Reggie died, who sent it? What did it say? Was it pogo? How do you even word that? Your father died? Did it also tell him to come back? Was it from the news? Like an article? But it can't be, because Luther didn't know about Allison's divorce and how he got custody. And her being famous I'd imagine that that would cause at least one article. What else did he miss? Did Luther ever figure out what he was doing on the moon? Cause he very easily could have just hopped (get it, hopped. Tom HOPPER 😂 ok I get it not funny). He could have seen that easily. Did Reggie tell him that he was "guarding" a dead (?) Body? Or did Luther wanna fulfill his daddies needs and literally stayed living on the moon in his little house not getting out unless it was to throw away trash or watch the sunrise? Is his daddy issues that bad? What did Luther even do up there if he didn't know? Nothing? That seems kinda hard to do for 4 years if ya ask me. Oh and from where they all were they all just happened to show up to the house at the same time? I'd imagine from how much they all hated that place they would want to go far away. I mean, I get Klaus, he can't go anywhere cause all he spends his money on is drugs and Diego has his hero complex so he stays in the same town to "save" it. And [Viktor] I guess is too shy to get a job or move anywhere so [he] can't make enough money to move so [he] stays in his little apartment. But like, Allison and Luther? Like, with her being a movie star id imagine she was off somewhere else for a movie or smth. And that red carpet, I can't imagine it's in the same city. Unless it just so happens to be. But Luther? I'm no scientist on space but I'm pretty sure it doesn't take 5 minutes to get from the moon to the academy. Oh and where did he "blast off" into space? Was it from the academy? Was he at some secret place? The lab where pogo was "made"? That makes the most sense bc that is where pogo went to go to space a small monkey. Also, was Luther's "home" on the moon the spaceship he flew in on? Bc thats a weirdly shaped space ship..

On a side note, where did Klaus hide that gold inlayed box? Cause he pulled it from behind. But I can't imagine it was from his behind because the others would have noticed his behind a little more flat than normal 😂

Okay also on a side note, but did we ever actually find out what happened to Luther? How he came close to death? Cause at the moment I can't remember if that was exactly explained.

Anyhoo these were my thoughts that bounced off and came from other thoughts. Just thought I'd share them.

#the umbrella academy #tua #five hargreeves #umbrella academy #tuaedit #umbrella acedmy #tua season 3 #klaus hargreeves #tua season four #the white violin

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muntiller2 · 1 year

Note

Can I gib u money for more edenhua pls I'm in a dessert

Ur in so much luck anon do you have any idea of how many edenhua wips I have in my folder

One of them has 15k words

But here have an unfinished one I never posted bc I thought it needed tweaking (warning for violence I think):

Hua doesn't have a big cross.

Her father used to, even if he wasn't a man of catholic religion. You are never too prepared, he used to say and for the most part Hua agreed with him.

She just never saw the crosses as actual protection.

"A lamb led to the slaughter… What shall I do with you?

The voice on the other side of the darkness is layered, multifaceted – Hua is sure she can hear familiar voices in there, like her dad's, like father Su's, like her friend Mei's. The demon speaks as the people she has always trusted her entire life, but Hua wants to curl up and cry.

No, no this is not how this was supposed to go.

Her flashlight fell onto the floor when she was first attacked and it now lies pointing towards the entrance. Even so, it illuminates nothing and a wall of darkness remains in there, tendrils squirming amongst black smoke that thrash out and reach for her.

Hua has her small rosary in hand. It's not much, but it's all she has and she won't let go of it.

"A cute one like you, defenseless and trembling, deserves more than simple death," It says there in the darkness, its voice growing less and less human, but sweet nonetheless. Fake. Hua trembles, scooting back, but her back is already to the wall. "And I am very caring to toys of mine."

Toys? Toys?

Hua lifts up the small cross of her rosary ever so slightly, pleasantly surprised by the quiet sound of a hiss that comes to her ears as the wall of darkness sizzles. It's too little though, not even enough to make the tendrils recoil and they lunge at her more forcefully instead.

Eager. Murderous.

Is that what humans are to powerful demons? Toys, mere playthings they can mess with and then throw away? Hua doesn't want to know what it means to be a demon's toy, she doesn't want to find out what they think playing means.

"First things first…" The voice starts again and the room seems to grow even darker, Hua's flashlight flickering ever so slightly. She wants to go and grab it, but already it's completely out of reach.

Too close to the entrance. Too close to that thing.

Suddenly, her hands begin burning.

"Ah–!"

The rosary falls to the floor, clattering against the floor. Hua's hand still hurts, a scorched up smell reaching her nose and she's alarmed to find the brand of the cross on her palms and fingers as she looks down.

Her eyes turn to the rosary again, realizing its metal has grown so hot it shines in orange.

"W-Wha–"

A slow hum, one that reverberates through the room and echoes again and again. Hua realizes much too late what her mistake was and she immediately lunges at the rosary, even if she knows it would hurt her even more to hold it.

The string is suddenly tugged towards the entrance and in a blink it disappears into the darkness. Hua falls pathetically onto the floor, raising herself to her knees as she reaches forward uselessly.

Her breathing quickens.

No, no no no no no— that was– that was her last defense– It was—

"Small and powerless," Comes the heavy voice, the air growing stuffy with each passing second. Hua trembles, pushing herself back against the wall, but she can't get far away from it enough.

The darkness seems to grow, advancing over the threshold of the door. The tendrils spread to the sides, grabbing hold of anything they can find and dragging it all towards the hole of nothingness.

"A shame, really, but it's much like you are, little human."

Hua whimpers, palms still aching and making her unable to close her hands into fists. She can't fight like this, she can't save herself, even if she has trained for her entire life under her father's guidance.

Still, the brands are shaped like crosses, so they must do at least something. Surely.

There is the click of a tongue, "How stubborn, Hua," She holds back a whimper as it finally calls her by name. "Surely you must have already learned how little damage those can do?"

The darkness advances further and in a blink, Hua's flashlight is swallowed.

The room turns pitch black and with the light so goes the sound.

Deafening silence graces Hua's ears, only her heartbeat and breathing filling up the dead air.

She waits for the attack, but it never comes.

She doesn't want to say a thing, doesn't want to make noise in fear of being jumped in the darkness. Much like she had guessed, the brands are, in fact, useful but only marginally – they emit a soft sliver off holy light, just enough for her to see them and her palm, but nothing else.

Hua swallows quietly, throat aching as breathing becomes a chore, and she begins using the soft glow of the brands to illuminate the floor. Merely a few inches away from it, she sees the tiles of the storage room she hid in – they’re broken now, shattered, and Hua wonders how she didn’t hear or feel it happen.

Merely able to see an inch ahead of her, she slowly begins moving to the side. The broken tiles dig into her exposed leg where the demon’s first attack left four lines cut into the skin and tore apart her clothes – she holds back a hiss, a hand coming to pull she shards out and push them away.

Hua can’t walk, it’s too painful, but she can still try to get away.

Why is she not dead yet? Is this what the demon meant by playing with her as a toy? Watching her struggle with death right around the corner, a towering presence that never leaves as she scrambles to find any way to escape?

Hua realizes with a start that she can’t hear herself breathing.

Half of her mind wants to panic about it, she needs it to know where her enemy is, but the other half calms itself. If anything, this is good – if she went deaf, then that means she can’t fall for the demon’s sweet tongue anymore, known as it is to get even the most devoted to end themselves.

Hua’s leg stings in pain— Her hands quickly follow.

As she tries to find the way out, she suddenly falls onto the floor.

A yelp leaves her lips, the shards digging onto her skin and making her scream, but she only realizes she can't push herself up a moment later.

Her breathing hitches.

"There you are," She jumps as she hears the demon in her ear, suddenly feeling the shape of its hand around the back of her neck.

Its body presses her downward, fully over her own in a way that makes her squirm.

"Y-You—"

Hua can't even hear herself, only able to feel the demon and the pain.

It chuckles in her ear, pressing on her further. A strange purr-like sound leaves its chest, "How adorable, I could take you for myself right now."

Hua takes in a shaky breath, trembling in pain, before gritting her teeth. If she's dying, she's going with a fight, of course – why would she just bow her head like this?

Stupid as it is, she tries to hit it with her elbow.

Predictably, it ends badly for her.

Its hand grabs hold of her arm, shoving her further into the ground. Hua grunts, almost cries out in pain, but nothing truly leaves her lips.

"Boldness is an admirable trait, is it not?" Its chest rumbles and Hua gasps a roll of its hips pin her down further. "I'll love to have a new doll in my hands, even one as feisty as you."

Hua hisses, squirming under it. She wants to ask why, seek a reason and a way to escape, but thinking is so hard when things are the way they currently are.

It leans close to her ear again, nibbling as if starved, "Let us have our fun, shall we? Be a good girl for me."

#they're cooking I swear #honkai impact #my writing #in line with ER Hua for her characterization here

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izzy-b-hands · 7 months

Text

Ongoing PTSD breakdown trauma stuff below the cut, pls ignore, just need to spew it somewhere that like. I know my feelings will be safe to have and type up and whatever. Also, sorta? mild our flag spoilers under the cut bc my brain is a mess and I use characters I love to help metaphor out and explain my own shit so. yeah. that's also a thing here.

Motherfucking random traumatic memory abt Mum fucking. Randomly hitting me while I'm writing fic (for no apparent reason, no idea what triggered my brain to throw this at me when I WAS NEARLY DONE WITH THE FUCKING FIC NO LESS)

So goddamn rude. I'm off my track on the fic now, so I'm setting it aside for the night (we have Ren Faire today (it literally just hit midnight lol), but after that I want to get back to it) and realising I should really write this memory down.

Like. all of the little details about it, the bits of Mum and I and our relationship surrounding it. Both because my brain does tend to shutter some of those things away and makes them hard to get to without it being stupid lengthy a process involving talking out every feeling I'm having with someone else(unless it pulls some shit like tonight, then suddenly it's no fucking problem throwing it all over the place apparently) and because like

I don't know if I could say this one out loud to anyone, but I think I should. Probably a therapist, but it's one of those stupid trauma things of you just Want Someone, Anyone To Know, Now. To acknowledge it and say if it was as fucked up as it feels (bc I will never deny the possibility that I'm being dramatic and it isn't, and I should just. chill the fuck out about it.)

But every time I start trying to type it out I get hit with this wave of a physical response where my arms and wrists and fingers feel like they're clenching up and I Can't type it. And there's a part of me that doesn't want to because if I can see it in letters on a page, then it's real. It's real and it happened and maybe it was as fucked up as it feels like it was and if that's all true then like. it fits with everything else about our relationship that's already fucked up, from the severe (better than it used to be, but I'm sure it's very clear to y'all that it's still Not Good even though I've moved away from her) co-dependence to the emotional incest (fun fact: that term feels like a gut punch every time I hear it, and I've heard it from my therapist more than a few times now over the past 9ish years of treatment.) So I shouldn't be shocked by that or like, upset, right?

Yet I'm here typing this out to put off typing it up, and I'd bet money I don't necessarily have that I'll wind up putting my laptop away, showering, and going to bed without getting it typed. For better or for worse.

Part of the reason I worry so much abt Frenchie this season (aside from that I love him and he's one of my faves and I want nothing but good and happy for him) is because I also subscribe to his 'shove all the fucked up shit you've seen/experienced in a box in your mind and just. Never open it unless you're putting more in there' method of coping (have all my life, it was so weirdly validating to see it onscreen like that explained so plainly) and like. This is me when the box somehow pops open when I didn't mean it to, and I both want Frenchie to be able to process the things that have happened to him but also don't want to see a character I love so much hurt like this. Because it feels like a big stupid gaping open wound in my chest that I'm being entirely too dramatic about, no matter how valid feeling that way abt it might be.

Kind of hope I can just shut the lid on the box so I can get done and go to sleep after I post this. Should I actually type out the memory and everything? I hate to think that the answer my therapist would have given me, if I could afford to be seeing her rn, would be yes. But the thing is, I have fucking Ren Faire tomorrow in my Izzy cosplay (that Housemate says I look good in, which I'll vainly admit I'm rather happy about, even if it is a very inaccurate and homemade cosplay that's missing certain details I can't yet afford to buy), and I don't want to be dealing with any of this for the rest of the night/into tomorrow. I need to sleep so I can go have some fucking fun, for once. I even feel ok to bring my cane with folded in my bag, just in case I need it, bc that would still be in character if I wind up needing to use it. I can count on one hand the times I've had a fun experience where I also felt safe admitting when my body was hurting and using a physical aid to help it get by; I'm not losing this one.

It's not getting typed out, and I need to duct tape that fucking box shut for now.

#text post #long post #tw ptsd #ngl kind of feeling exhausted and can't think of what other tws to add so if y'all see one I should have pls msg me and I can add asap #here or on discord if u have my discord info whatever works #im going to shut my laptop down shower and try to force myself to cry in there #bc the fact that I haven't had a big physically painful sob session means I'm not fully done with this rough patch bc they ALWAYS get bette #after I have The Big Sob Session #until I have it I just have to work hard to keep myself together and not let it affect other stuff which tbh #this stuff ive carried so long that even in like. active breakdown or wtf ever u wanna call it #masking and getting by in public is somehow still easy enough #but that's another thing I'm fucking off to the shower pls cross ur fingers and toes that i at least cry a little in there so I can sleep l

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mxbbadperson · 7 months

Note

Well I asked about Keiwa's good deeds that are unrelated to Sara, because characters who only care about saving certain people tend to display their callousness towards anyone not them at any time (when said person live or die), even if they're on the good side.

Like turning blind eye on people who get attacked if they aren't who they want to save (similar to those who are money oriented, and wouldn't act if they aren't paid), gladly accepting heinous methods that harms anyone if it'd keep said people safe, but objects if said approach will put their loved ones at risk, etc.

Some examples that fit the bill are Kanzaki (cares about Yui, never did anything good to anyone but her throughout his life no matter how many victims he created), Drake (cares about Gon and women, refuses to intervene when a man is attacked, almost kills Tendo when Gon is held hostage), Mitsuzane (wants to save his friends, early on already turning blind eye over people attacked to ensure Yggdrasill can't get data and further harm his friends)

But Keiwa, though Sara takes precedence more than anyone else, he still bothered to make attempts to look out for others that aren't her, and in his dark arc, the type to prioritize the many (DGP victims) over the few (Tsumuri) at first, rather than personal thing. Maybe repeating that wish would be too risky after his attempt just plungs the world into chaos and took his family.

The expectation of being 'selfish and cares about Sara/family alone' like examples above, would be to ignore anyone else other than Sara/family when not needed (e.g. getting points for civilians), and likely throw his rivals under the bus if needed, including insincere temporary alliance if it benefits them, if it can get him closer to winning the DGP and keep Sara safe/revive his family, and never bothered to take into account of anyone but Sara in his thoughts - not even making his first attempt reviving people who aren't them. fail or no.

and keiwa can care abt civilians when sara is NOT THERE. he can care abt others BC sara isn't in danger. what part of 'i didn't realize that i actually world peace for my sister UNTIL she died' did you not understand. and not you glossing over keiwa not jumping into ace's dgp right away when there was no chance for his wish to be granted lmaooooooo you just conveniently missed that huh and that even goes further when keiwa wanted the dgp to keep going in the desire royale

"the type to prioritize the many (DGP victims) over the few (Tsumuri) at first" 1. lmfao and hurting tsumuri is a good thing? are you for real. just SAY "fuck tsumuri" not whatever THIS is.

lmfaooooooooooo and sara isn't a dgp victim? keiwa still didn't make that wish to bring her back? if he cared so much abt the dgp victims then why did he stop thinking abt them?

where's penguinman, did keiwa ever check up on that man's family ever again? did he CHECK up on that man's wife and kid? did he look for him when tsumuri was forced to grant his wish? what about polar bear man, you know, the man that saved him and gave him a crisis when he found out that the jyamato used him as a fertilizer? did keiwa look for him? yeah, keiwa sure did prioritized the dgp victims! he cared abt them sooooooo much!

he cared abt dgp victims so much that he let the dgp terrorize the world in their bad end game! THAT game didn't make more victims i'm sure! so much care, wow

addition: also. anon, are you aware that selfishness look different for each character or did you miss that too?

#kamen rider geats #ask #anon

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thisismeracing · 9 months

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I don't dislike Pierre, I really don't, but for some reason I get so happy every time Estie finishes ahead of him... I just can't lie to myself

it's so subconscious, sometimes I wonder why?! And I don't actually dislike or disapprove of any drivers accept MV and Sargent (again cannot pretend like I get good vibes out of them bc I don't), but I actually really enjoy seeing Estie/ Yuki/ Dan/ Zhou/ Valteri/ Albono sometimes even Lance racing, and have a lot of fun watching them race each other a little far back. It just feels like a whole different race is going on. And I don't know about you guys but I kinda consider 7th - 15th like a second version of the of the top 6 and nothing will change that, honestly with the cars they are driving is really like they are in a different category so 🤷‍♀️

Besides all that they have to handle being seen as "not so good" like they aren't driving the shitiest cars and delivering miracles half the time!! I really don't believe that just money alone could hold them on to their seats, they are good drivers!

We can see that, before Sargent got to Williams they under appreciated Alex, once they saw what a actual not so talented driver got out of their car (a.k.a has only got to the finish line like 4 times this year and all those 4 times, didn't get any of them higher than 17th) they realized real quick that Albon is great, and somehow manages point finishes and into Q2 in qualifying, with a car that barely holds itself together!

I love Mercedes and Ferrari! Lewis is still one of my favorite drivers, and the goat!

I see that somehow even though Ferrari it's at their worst, Charles manages to qualify in the top 6 all the damn time, and Carlos and him have been great at handling their frustrations with the team (we know a couple that would throw a tantrum), I admire so much the way Leclerc talks about Ferrari and he has so much love and faith for that team that he's willing to go through all these bad times and still makes clear to everyone that he's not leaving and sticking up for them! (u don't see much of that anymore, especially the other way around, teams sticking up for their drivers!!) *Not even going to talk about DeVries bcs it just gets me enraged

I love how positive George is, aways taking in the lessons and being smart about everything! He has so much talent, intelligence and heart! and won't think twice about being cunty.

Lando is doing amazing despite having to drive for that weak excuse of a team, and I'm really proud and happy to see it happening! He's talented and seems to be a sweetheart.

Oscar has been impressive and I didn't expect it! The way he got into his seat was so dramatic and chaotic, but not his fault at all!

Do I think Fernando should have stayed retired? Yes! Do I still enjoy him being a menace to everyone there? Also yes! I get angry at him every fkn race, but he owns that he's a devil's little spawn! + also one of the only one besides Lewis to stand up to RedBull + delivers entertainment!

Pierre is taking his chances and doing what he can to prove himself and establish his name as a big one for F1! + love him and Kika, so yes I do it for her at this point! + is unhinged on social media

But lately I've been watching the races for the fight for the 11th place 😭 also formula 2 is so much more entertaining (sports wise).

- 🎀

P.S i got carried away but I'd really like to know everyone's thoughts on this one!

love you Millie

and as always fuck gunther stainer and zack brown hope they have a miserable life ahead

Hi, babesss!

I have the same feeling when it comes to Pierre, I think I just like Estie bestie better and that's it yk. I enjoy watching the fight that happens between 7th and 15th place too, it's always nice and you can get a good view of drivers showing their abilities even when the car won't cooperate.

Charles, Carlos, George, and Lewis are a sight to see racing. I always look forward to seeing what they'll pull and how they'll deal with the shitty strategies when it comes to it. I don't remember which race but I remember George going from 20th to 7th (he had an incident with the car) and then the car really broke down and he dnf, but it was such a good race to watch.

I feel the same towards Fernando too, he brings entertainment t.

I think overall I agree with you on everything, hon. Lately it's been all about the fight that happens outside the podium positions because there's not really a fight when it comes to first place................

I've never tried F2, but if I ever find myself with some free time and looking forward to watching something fun I'll check it out and let you know! <3

Luv you, nonny! *forehead kiss*

#🎀 anon #millies inbox #f1 talk

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sleepyscara · 2 years

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I THINK I'VE THOUGHT ABT MY REQUEST NOW

Have you seen birds of prey? If not then SPOILERS

________

In birds of prey Harley Quinn and The joker broke up, so imagine Reader and Dottore breaks up with each other but privately because in birds of prey Harley Quinn was the one that announced their break up indirectly in public by throwing away her necklace and reader does the same

So imagine if reader and Dottore did broke up, Reader immediately leaves snezhnaya and instead of staying in one place too long he kept moving around places to places, he enjoys this of course having realized he spend too much time doing almost everything for Dottore and not for himself

He's pulling people left and right with his charm, having adrenaline rushes whenever he fights off other people because they got the wind that he's no longer with Dottore and also managed to get riftwolve/s as a pet! (Just like how Harley Quinn got a hyena for a pet)

Though reader basically lives off of cheap foods because he doesn't have much money anymore and he steals mora occasionally from some rich bastards, reader is enjoying his life, having fun and etc...

Anyways moving on what if reader is seen with the fake albedo and spends time with them most of the time? fake albedo being fond of reader but not admitting it.

Then an insert of your character of choice who's also looking for reader because they used to have a big crush on him but couldn't court then bc of Dottore and then being in the fatui

AND Dottore realizing he actually needs reader and is demanding his minions/clones to find him and bring him back to him because he can't live without the love sick psycho he created

(You choose if you wanna do multiple endings or one!)

I know this is a big request and sorry for the rant (◞‸◟ㆀ)ˢᵒʳʳʸ

BIRDS OF PREY IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE MOVIES OH MY GODDDDD

big request big smest! i'll do my frickin best !! THIS IS SO FUN OMG. i would like to preface it may take a short while but I WILL GET ON THIS. i'm also gonna reread birds of prey

i have a feeling this will be a multi part story so :D

#I GOT A REQUEST #OMG #genshin #dottore #ehehehehhe #sleepyscara

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sentientdroids · 2 years

Text

Fic Author Self Rec

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

i was tagged by my darling @pchberrytea ❤️ throwing tags at some of the most talented people i know @jld-az @shallow-gravy @lilin-writes @ejunkiet @tiesthatbind1899

1. Comply [Marvel Cinematic Universe]

In her, some part of him recognizes itself.

Or, in which SHIELD is reformed and not dissolved, and Bucky feels the weight of his wounds. A story told in vignettes.

MYY FKN BABY my current hyperfixation the air that i breathe. like all my most precious ideas, this one came to me in a dream and shortly after, wrecked my life and stole my sanity. literally don’t care if this is only ever for me bc i adore the story and the characters and their relationships to each other. the chapters are short and i’ll probably always worry that it’s a bad thing but i also feel that the medium suits the particular story i’m trying to tell and anyway i have Bucky Barnes brain rot and it’s terminal

2. Visage [The Mandalorian]

The way Mandalorians appreciate beauty is...subtle. Quiet and reverent.

This is the way.

eyyyy i just wanted Din Djarin to be soft and yearning and it’s completely self-indulgent

3. Cruel World [Fallout 4]

Danse and Nora's relationship fell apart years ago, but when they both end up in the Commonwealth waging war against the Institute, their paths cross again.

Time can't heal everything but they'll always have a soft spot for each other.

listen…..reading it now it’s kinda hot garbage LMAO i’m really tempted to rewrite it but it’s never gonna not be one of my faves because it was my first fic and the thing about me is i’m a sentimental ass bitch and also i’m in love with Nora <3 it made me so many friends and i grew tremendously while writing it and i think about it all the time. the story that got me through college has a special place in my heart.

4. Whiplash [Red Dead Redemption II]

Arthur Morgan meets a lone outlaw, a wanted woman, and his pursuit of her isn’t purely a matter of money.

i proved a lot to myself with this one. i made a character much different than what came naturally to me and it’s finished (!!) and damn. got a lot of seratonin from Maggie thank uuuu outlaws for life

5. Gaps in the Armor [Fallout 4]

She strikes when he isn’t ready, like any worthy adversary. She’s formidable, beautiful, and she knows how to shoot through the gaps in his armor.

this one is also impressive simply by virtue of it actually having been completed. i did wanna take it another direction at one point and draw it out more but i wanna do that with everything so what’s new y’know. i do actually like this one still mostly and it’s some of the only smut i’ve shared and even if it ain’t much it was a big step!today i can proudly say i’m unapologetically horny on main, even if i still keep my smut locked away where it can’t see the light of day.

#fic author self rec #boy i do not like reading my old stuff #growth is real tho amen

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