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princess-pray-a · 8 months

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warnings : mention of death of komugi oneshot , slightly alteration than real anime , intro of new character y/n , vaginal penetration, 1st time , creampie , breeding kink, unsafe sex, soft mereum, , kissing , breasts fondling m sucking breasts, mereum has 10inch cock , mate au, smut , 18+

Characters : Mereum X reader

minors donot interact

find my works here .

⚜️ THE KINGS MATE ⚜️

Komugis death broke mereum, his humanity that had sprouted out now seemed to eat him. Trying to finally understand his act of killing humans, almost causing genoside makes him step aside from her injured body trembling . The impact from the debris was Enough to rob of her life , and pitou was also unable to rescue no matter what she did . The king finally realized what he had done what loss he caused for the human kind and how his ideals were the cause of suffering . The lifeless body of komugi taught him his extreme ways had caused multiple others to feel the same anguish and torment he faced , what if they had more than one person they cared in the way he did for komugi the pain would have been much much terrible .

was he really the top of all when he couldn’t even understand that sentiment of people he wanted to rule over ? he should better understand their emotion , wouldn’t that be better for even himself !? Seeing Netero risk his life to prevent killing of many humans ,brought to his understanding that power existed to protect the once weaker than them . The human society was definitely warped but what he did was nothing a sort to be celebrated . An emotion bubbled within him , I will come back to rule only when I can truly stand to the the leader of this being . seeing the display of humanity by the king

Netero and Zeno felt compelled to hear him out , he surrendered claiming he was stupid enough to think that he could rule over human without even knowing how they operate , The pride in his words were evident though pouf tried to stop him , he continued “ I need to grasp what this humanity is better understand everyone starting from my guards and those around me before I set a conquest for a world , I don’t mean to rule over the mass full of corpses merely controlled by me , so I believe it will be a worthless fight no matter which party wins “. Nefero went ahead with the negotiations “fine whatever it is what do we get in return for simply going on your wimps !? Can you sure never to lay a hand on human life !? To consume human !?” Mereum was silent he felt conflicted , many emotions , ran through him one that was starving for the rare human and another imagining to witness another loss like komugi , but he made his decision quick ,” fine I won’t devour human , but for the bargain if your kind willingly pick up fight with my royal guard or me you will be devoured that instant.

The king and royal guards of chimera ant make their way out .now that the fight was , taking away the lifeless body of komugi and buried her .This was a path for the king to find and explore his humanity all before you met him . You are a hunter who just learned her nen and had ventured the mountain fei outskirts of pejing for finding a rare herb to make medicine as the medical hunter . You Who have been studying microbiology unknowingly endup infiltrating the base of these royal guards and the king. Your small stature shoulder length brown curly hair side swept and sparkly brown eyes made you look vulnerable yet precious. Luck wasn’t at your side hence you got capture by the royal guards then you were now presented before the king mereum

Many even today when presented front him trembled through pitou s en and aura . But you simply bowed them . Why are you here are you here to challenge me for duel !? . The king asked you who was pure of heart simply replied “ Oh no no sorry for intruding your place I simply came to look for yarshagumba . I am a medical hunter you see ! “The. King sensed a feeling of deja vu your figure reminded him of komugi that komugi who introduced him to humanity and feelings he at that moment he hadn’t realized but now it was clear it was love . “Take her to the guest chamber and treat her with utmost care” . The words from the king made royal guards reply immediately “ as your highness wishes”. The king who was almost dead inside finally showed the signs of life in pitou s eyes , though pouf felt he was returning back to his time with komugi but now as the situation and time had passed he realized a king without emotions would only command an army as a robot . For the spiritual well being of a king they needed her .

you smiled brightly at the king with the kindness and fondness that even komugi couldn’t deliver . She was blind she didn’t see the beastly form he had , but you you saw him yet you could smile soo sweetly at him with no malice in your heart . She was not a beauty but you were far more brighter than her , not in complexion but your light was beautiful, your heartbeat was a melody, your aura the most calming and nurturing, oh how could he forget you were a healer, a medical hunter , “ Thankyou soo much for your kindness I will make sure to repay it somehow,” you said clearly with innocent curiously. “ by the way what is your name he asked !?”. His eyes peered searching for komugi the same name that had left its print on his heart . But alas “ it’s Y/N .. and what about you ?” . The king that had been in a sea of thoughts came back he,, what had he expected , she was gone and you are a different person . You had asked beaming with excitement again . He blinked a few times and a smile to his lips “it’s Mereum, “ he was finally able to answer his name to someone , it gave him a sense of accomplishment. “ your name is mereum the light that rules over all that was what your mother wanted you to know “ the word of Netero. “ ahhh it’s such a beautiful name “. Your smile from ear to ear now thawing his heart , he felt something flutter he never had experience such emotions , what he had with komugi was excitement of game and wish to protect her but with you , he was having these different emotions .

he wanted to know more about you , what is your inner working ,how could you stand there smiling without fear in front of a creature as him , komugi was blind but you , you could see yet there was no hostility or wary ness. He chuckled to himself . “You may leave I will meet you tomorrow to know about yarchagumba or what you said “. “ hehe surely can’t wait” waving to him you are escorted by the royal guards .

Next day mereum couldn’t wait to venture out with you , what in the world had you seen to make you soo carefree , he was curious to step into your view your own ideas . “ good morning mereum shall we go ?” You ask him hopping and full of energy you were somewhat that was an energy ball in his gloomy life he was blinded by your light !” Yes let’s go “ matching steps with you he went to scout the area . “ together you explained him how rare is yarchagumba and how to pick it up , dancing and singing while dwelling in the mountain . You taught him how song heals the soul . The beauty of dance during festivals and falling in love with the nature . In spotting a River you pull him together “ look the water is soo fresh come let’s go and soak the feet into it your feet might hurt you have been walking barefoot “ he was being soo patient with you, not saying no to any request or ideas because all these moments he was in your world was so peaceful and beautiful. He imitates what you do after removing your socks and shoes . The content expression on your face as the cool water wash over your sore feet makes his gaze glued to you , the simple moment making his heart race , and when you hum a tune while enjoying the breeze and cool water , he feels like hearing the most magnificent tune better than the violin of pouf . You both decided to catch some fish way back . When you both arrive at the base l the royal guard they are perplexed seeing you return with fishes. You are beaming so mereum motions his guards to say nothing to you , and they take the hint.

“Can I use the kitchen to cook ? I really am good at it I will also make it for you pitou,Pouf and Yupi sama so we can dine together “. Your demand is met by a laugh “ haha you really don’t fear us do you ! “Pitou says “ well I am ok if his highness is ok with it” pouf added

me too “ youpi simply replied . “ sure but I will want to watch you while you work if it’s given then you can cook” mereum said .

“Hehe sure I would love to be with you I can teach you about various stuffs too “ you replied . In the kitchen you show your skills using the vast range of spices telling him about them and their benefits to mereum simply as he gazed you down with aw.. “ after you were done you had meal with all of them together , they definitely didn’t feel different in taste but the way you brought them together gave the whole dining experience a new light even to the royal guards. Hence your days at the kings base was a new experience for them too .you were a light that was shining in their highnesses life .

it had been weeks , you had definitely grown a lot familiar with Mereum and known his story , every moment he shared with you was precious to you , you had fallen in love with the villain but did he feel the same for you !? Or he still loved his first love . That thought stung you . You were clutching a sketch you made of him while he was sitting ,it wasn’t the best sketch but good enough to say it was him . As you peered down into the forest through the balcony you heard footsteps approaching , the love of your life was there standing infront of you , you wanted to take that step a step where you could be closer to him than any other but we’re afraid . “Hello how was your day “ you asked as the last r of sunrays exited the room . “ it was good , what are you doing here alone ?” “Oh it was this picture of your I had made it’s not that good but still ” you showed him your creation and he smiled softly at you “ it isn’t bad after all , I wanted to have some talk with you is it ok ?” He asked cautiously. It wasn’t like him to ask for you for your permission so you went to his room for whatever it is .

“ do you know what a purpose I hold !? My birth is for ?” , you nodded at his question “ isn’t it that you are supposed to mate with other female creature and make them queens ?” The question made you feel heavy weight in your heart lump of throat and you started aching all through your body . What is he gonna say what is he gonna do ? Is he going to find females to reproduce with , would I be able to watch it !?” An array of questions flooded through your mind until it was he is voice that brought you. Back “ what do you think of me !? As a mate !?” “ ah .. huh you are .. perplexed embarrassed confused and spellbound .. does he see you as a potential mate !? Or just one among many ? The first he wants to try with ! Your over thinking brain just couldn’t take it any more ! You were at your limit as you finally confess .” Ahh well , I I really like you , more than like I love you but I know you still love Komugi , I really wished you saw me as lover but if you want to mate me I .. I would really love it if you had feelings for me or atleast I knew what you had in your heart for me !” Well you went ahead and did it and now there was no going back .

thinking that maybe you would be replied with a negative feedback or even death you strengthen yourself but you are embraced in a warm hug . “ how fool are you , you are unaffected during our intense aura but are trembling when expressing your heart how can you be so weak and strong at the same time !” He is warmth giving you a sense of relief but also your heart is pounding madly this is the closest you have been with him. He breaks the embrace and cups your cheeks “ komugi might have been my first crush but , you are different , I love you and only you , you bought light to my life , she gave me humanity but you gave me a world of richer in humanity wonders peace and love . The tension in the air grew heavy as your gaze locked with eachother his eyes spoke volumes of the affection he carried for you , your own eyes watered at the sight slightly sobbing ‘“ ah . *Sniff *I ,, Thankyou thankyou soo much , I have *sniff *never been loved , Thankyou for loving me as me , I love you too “ . He wasted no time capturing your lips kissing it will lust and brimming love for you . You replied back in kind . As the nose brush against eachother you get more and more lost in your kisses seeking eachother out changing angles deepening it as much as possible pouring your love together ,his tongue enters your mouth devouring you completely .

after some time of making you both part for air a string of saliva attaching you together your body goes limp as he guides you to his bed. Your face flushed and needy, his face too had a little of that blush . His hands roamed around your body feeling through your clothes . His each and every strokes sending sparks to your body . “ ahh ngg “ a moan escaped your lips .It’s ok look at me I am here allow me to hear all those naughty sounds of you my love “ he said his voice a soft murmur . He rained kisses from your eyelids to your breasts taking off the shirt, he kissed you deeply again holding your waist allowing you to straddle him . You were feeling lightheaded all consumed your heart raced full speed almost ready to rip out . Your lover claiming you as his queen the thought itself setting your body a blaze . Unclasping your bra he freed your breasts . “ you are soo beautiful and you are mine “ assuring you on the way he sucked breast drawing circles over your nipples . The sensation making your womanhood throb your walls clench around empty already lusting you moaned out calling his name while his hands made a quick work to get rid of your skirt and underwear ,feeling insecure you quickly went to hide but he stopped you mid way . “No let me cherish your every part love, show me each and every part of you I want to love it all . “ on his encouraging words you let him touch the most intimate spot of yours your wetness coating his fingers as he rubbed and scissored your making your ready to take him . He flipped you over laying you down and spreading your legs wide for him you could see his huge cock that was hard and long about 10 inches god would it even fit ,you thought was it a bad decision to back out now ,every thought coursed your brain that you may die but again as supportive he has been with you he said “ it’s ok it will be fine I have modified ones that secret extra lube so you can accommodate me ! I am here with you ! Look into my eyes and give yourself to me” believing what he claimed you allowed him to slowly penetrate ,you god the stretch was painful but ain’t that much as you thought would be however a tear rolled from the corner of your eyes , he kissed it running hands over your hair smoothing it lovingly . “ that’s good girl ngg fuck.. you are soo tight and feel soo good “ he was fully in you and started moving slowly after you adjusted the pain changed to pleasure and now you were asking more, “ ngg an faster mereu.m mhggg ahh yes yes god it feels soo good ahhh.”. He was thrusting into you pounding your pussy with huge speed making sure not to break you , his cock almost kissing your wombs insides as his cock bulge was seen in your lower tummy .” I can’t wait to breed you for the next season love “ we are going to have many’s many breeding seasons together “ he kissed you while fondling your breasts , you soon reached your high as your walls clenched around him you too could feel his cock twitch as you alert him of your coming orgasm “ ngg yes yes I am gonna c..cummm ahhh mer..merum come here … “ you pull him closer for a kiss “yes fuck y/n I am near too your walls are milking me make sure to take the kings seed well I am cumming “ you both reach your high simultaneously and his cock paints your walls white filling your womb while you wash his cock with your juices .and the extra drips out of your pussy He stays inside until every last drop of cum is released in you . Finally bringing a blanket to cover your bodies as you collapse from exhaustion . Smiling to you while kissing your forehead holding you in his embrace “ get rest we will start in an hour again well I won’t tell you for now but i will wake.you up love “

pouf enters to give some report to the king but sensing the lust he retreats mid way with a smile to himself his king has started the mating and now it was clear to not disturb them for two days conveying it to the other royal guards . well finally the king has found his mate but unlike other of his kind he faithfully lives with his queen until death takes them together as they die of old age in eachothers embrace. THE END .

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johnwickb1tsch · 5 months

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you're the worst thing (i'm addicted to) Part 5

a john wick x Helen'sSister!Reader fic You are Helen's baby sister. When you meet John Wick at Helen's graveside, he invites you to dinner to celebrate her birthday. Set a few years after the first movie, 2-4 never happened. Use of y/n. Warnings: canon typical violence. Future reference to threat of noncon, (not John! because he's our assassin sweetiepie). Mourning. Smut. Grey areas. Questionable decisions. Sweetheart!John, BAMF!John Depressed!John - If you can handle the movie you should be fine here... PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4

PART 5.

“I really hate this building,” he grouses as you push through the security door without challenge. He sounds grumpy, and it’s almost…cute. You’re not used to having anyone worrying after you like this.

“I’ve never had a problem here,” you try to assure him.

He gives one last hostile look over the street like he expects a horde of marauders to come charging after you. But there’s just streetlights, and the few harmless hipsters who are still out and about on a Friday night. This city never really sleeps.

“Do you at least have protection in your apartment?”

You reckon he doesn’t mean condoms.

“What, like a gun?”

“Yes.”

“No,” you laugh. “I have a bat under my bed?”

He makes a sound through his teeth that indicates that is not the answer he wanted to hear. Again, you stumble on that stupid odd riser, and again he grabs for you, holding your waist with an arm that feels like steel, practically carrying you up the next three steps. He is tense, on edge after the fight, his eyes sweeping the shadows of your stairwell.

You hope that once you get him inside your apartment, he might calm down. For once the tumblers yield without a fight, and you pull him inside, locking the deadbolt again behind you. “Come sit down. Let me look at you.”

Instead he strides to the window, looking out over the street with a suspicious glare. He is manic, going to every window that faces the street and closing blinds and curtains. Then he stands vigil again, looking out through a crack in the blinds, his jaw clenched. He stands like that for a good minute before you insist, “John.”

He reminds you of a hawk, the way he turns his head to look at you without moving the rest of his body.

“It’s ok, honey. Do you want a drink?”

He lets out a deep breath, maybe relaxing a tad, though he’s still grinding his bottom teeth. “Sure.”

You know his poison of choice now. It’s possible you picked up a nicer bottle of bourbon than what you had on offer last time, a small batch vintage.

“Sit,” you insist, pointing at one of your chairs in the living room. You know it sounds like a command, but it seems like the only way to get through to him in this hyper-fixated state. After a long moment he finally obeys, lowering himself down into the cushioned seat with the weariness of a man ten years his elder. He seems as though he has done this all before—and he doesn’t like it anymore.

“You’re taking all this rather well,” he remarks, gratefully accepting the cut crystal glass from you, slugging back half of it.

“Well...that guy was an asshole.” You shudder as your think about what Sasha intended to do to you, and how he’d undoubtedly treated other women before you who didn’t have someone like John on their side. “A knife in the leg was the least he deserved. You taught him a lesson he won't forget.”

“Yeah. Too bad these guys aren't big on self-reflection. They prefer revenge.”

“You think they’ll come after you?”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.”

You digest this, chewing on your bottom lip. “I can’t imagine how they could even find me,” you try to assure him. “It’s a huge city.”

The look he pays you isn’t exactly condescending, but it definitely makes you feel like he finds you naïve.

“Did you pay for your first round of drinks with cash?”

“No, credit card.”

He nods, like that’s all they would need.

“Seriously?”

“They have their ways.”

“Who are they, exactly?”

“I feel like it would be better if you didn’t know.”

“Oh no, we’re not doing that,” you say with your hands on your hips. “If someone’s coming after me, you’re going to tell me who.”

The wistful smile that twists his lips unexpected. “What?” you ask, unable to mask your annoyance.

“It’s just…I feel like I’ve had this conversation before.”

You realize you must remind him of Helen, with your no-male-bullshit attitude. It makes your heart ache at the same time it fills with pride. “Well, I learned from the best.”

You stare at each other for a long moment, and you feel your annoyance melt away as you study this man, so forbidding and yet beneath it all, a little fragile. You see it in his eyes, and there’s still blood on his brow, and you decide you want to patch him up more than you want to argue with him.

For now.

Maybe he feels some obligation to take care of you because of Helen, but it goes both ways. You know Helen would want you to make sure he’s taken care of too. You feel a little guilty that it’s taken this long.

“I’m going to go get my first aid kit. We’ll clean you up, then you can decide what you want to tell me. FYI, the less you know the better is not acceptable tonight.”

“Yes ma’am.”

You cannot tell if he is amused, exasperated, or maybe both.

You return from the bathroom with your medicine chest, thunking it down on the coffee table. “Want another?” you ask, gesturing at his empty glass.

“Yes, but I shouldn’t. Good stuff.” You smile to yourself, wondering if your previous offering had been closer on the scale to paint thinner, remembering how he’d drank it anyway because he was a sweetheart. He was a conundrum, was what he was. This man was dangerous, and after what you’d seen earlier, you suspected he was possibly a killer. And yet, he was sweet. So sweet, at least to you, and those he considered friends. The warmth that bloomed in your chest for him was alarmingly not exactly—or not exclusively—lust related.

“Ouch,” you sigh, inspecting his brow. It’s a deep cut, and might actually require a butterfly. You won’t know until you clean it up.

You actually possess a passable first aid kit. Sometimes, art projects involving blades go awry, and you are in the habit of taking care of your ailments yourself. The cost of healthcare is utterly obscene, and until recently, out of your budget.

John lets you fuss over him, sitting still as a statue as you cleanse his wounds with saline solution then slather him with some antibacterial goop. Though you still feel a bit sick, and a bit giddy from the adrenaline, luckily your hands have stopped shaking. You do affix one butterfly closure to his noble brow, just in case. His eyes are closed, almost as though he is enjoying your ministrations, even though you know it can’t actually feel good.

“I’m not sure what else to do for this,” you say, touching his split lip lightly with a gauze pad, dabbing away the blood.

“It’s fine,” he sighs. “I’ve had worse.”

“I’m sorry you got hurt,” you say.

This could be an excellent window for him to really tell you what’s going on. You suspect he’s purposely distracting you when he reaches for you, tracing the line of your waist before his large hands settle on your hips, pulling you closer between his manspread legs.

“I’m feeling better now.” He looks up at you with those soulful dark eyes, and goddammit they should be considered an illegal weapon.

You know you should insist on answers before giving in, but your resolve utterly dissolves under his touch and that longing look, replaced with heady desire. This thing between you is a force to be reckoned with; it obliterates your good sense, your sense of propriety, your loyalty to your late sister. Anything that might have stopped you with anyone else ceased to matter with this beautiful man.

You are not sure if he pulls you, or if you just melt down into his lap, straddling him. His long fingers splay on your legs, pushing your skirts up your thighs, sliding higher and higher until he cups your ass with only your panties between you.

“My knight in shining black armor,” you sigh, touching his cheek lightly, wary of causing him pain. You think you see a bruise forming beneath the scruff of his beard.

“Hmm. It’s nice to be the hero, for once.”

“Are you usually the bad guy, John?”

His touch is feather light down your legs again, then up your spine and the backs of your arms, causing you to shudder uncontrollably. “You have no idea, sweetheart.”

“I think I’m forming an idea,” you admit breathily.

“My clever girl. What ever shall I do with you?” You’re not sure why his praise makes heat and slick pool between your legs, as though you are melting from the inside for this man. His hands are in your hair now, his touch still so gentle, but oh so maddening. Your skin feels like its on fire.

You kiss him gently, because of the split lip. He is the one who deepens it, with a growing desperation and a disregard for his own pain that you find insanely titillating. His mouth travels down your neck, trailing kisses and grazing with teeth as though he means to eat you alive.

You would let him, gladly, and you writhe against him, grinding on the length of his hard cock beneath you. You didn’t even get to see it last time. Tonight, you determine you will remedy that.

Fingers hooked in the straps of your dress pull down, down and down until you are bared before him. His hand in your hair pulls, gentle but exacting, guiding you to arch your back, offering up your breasts for his delectation. His mouth on your nipples is pure magic, sucking and biting and flicks of tongue that drive you to the absolute brink. He could make you cum just like this, you think, with his mouth on your tits and riding his rock-hard cock through his pants.

It hardly seems fair, considering last time, you somehow manage to think through the fog of desire that has you so tied up in knots. You push against him, sliding down his body until you are on your knees before him. He watches you with such blatantly raw hunger it makes your legs weak; he knows exactly what you’re doing, and doesn’t have the will to tell you no. He watches you intensely as you reach for his belt, flipping it open. There is a weight on the belt that confuses you for a moment, until his hand goes behind his back, catching something.

“Don’t be afraid,” he says, and you can’t think straight enough to even entertain it. He pulls out a small black blocky object—it takes you a moment to realize it’s a gun. You've never really seen one in real life until tonight, just in the movies. You are more curious than fearful as he sets it gingerly on the table. The possibility does not even register that he could be a threat to you. After everything you’ve seen tonight, this is just par for the course, and you return to your task with gusto, whipping his belt from their loops with a satisfying snap.

You cannot hide the fact that you are utterly pleased with yourself, and the corners of his mouth twitch, his hand caressing your cheek. You finish undoing his pants with your eyes half closed, so entranced by his light touch, until his manhood springs free into your hand, hot and velvety and oh my he is large. You roll your eyes up to meet his before descending upon him, slowly taking his swollen glans between your lips, swirling him with your tongue.

“Fuck, baby…”

The hand in your hair is not so gentle now; you don’t think he realizes he’s pulling, as you slowly take his length into the back of your throat, toying with the vein with your tongue. You slide more of him into your mouth, knowing you'll never be able to fit it all, but so willing to try. You bob up and down slowly, grazing him very carefully with your teeth, winning the most delicious moan from this man who is usually such a bastion of self-control.

His fingers comb through your hair, sending chills all down your body as you work him up and down. The tips of your bare breasts brushing his tautly muscled thighs sends spears of longing to your loins, and you press your legs for some relief.

It doesn’t work, but you are enjoying this, and you want to treat him, the way he treated you so generously before. He’s taken a beating for you, fought and bled for you, protected you, and you want to thank him in the most primal way you know how. You take him deeper into the back of your throat, as deep as you can go, savoring every thick inch of this magnificent cock. What a thing of beauty. He groans, and you would have smiled if not for the mouthful.

“Baby...so good to me.” His hips rock against you of their own volition, his grip tightening in your hair. “Touch yourself for me. I want to feel you cum with your mouth sucking my cock.”

He doesn't have to invite you twice. Your fingers find your weeping slit, toying with your clit while you go down on him. You find a rhythm like this, sucking him in time to touching yourself. Maybe it’s a little self serving, but then again...there is something cosmic in this. Something timeless and primal and he seems to be enjoying it all the more with your participation, the vibration of your moans teasing his hard shaft.

You feel that scintillating pleasure gathering in your loins, know you are close. Your pleasure almost takes you by surprise, it is so swift and violent, your body spasming with the mindnumbing explosion inside you. After last time, it’s almost the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had. You take him into your throat fully and he cums with you, no warning, just the hot spill of his seed down your throat, filling your mouth. You swallow it greedily, only withdrawing when he stills beneath you.

You nearly collapse against his lean legs, your cheek resting on his lean thigh. This man is made of muscle and sinew. Through hooded eyes he caresses your face, toying with your hair. You shudder with aftershocks that are almost as pleasurable as the orgasm itself. You feel triumph as those burning dark eyes slide closed, overcome by afterglow, and maybe something else you don't care to name now.

“My sweet girl. You...are a marvel."

Something inside you blooms at hearing those soft words from him.

Slowly you sit up, stretching against him, using his hard body to help push you to your feet. Without a word you step out of your lacy pink panties and stick them in his jacket like a pocket square. He glances down with a lifted eyebrow, a small smirk pulling the corner of his mouth.

He’s so beautiful you could scream.

“Something to add to your collection,” you quip, alluding to the fact that even though he practically fled last time, you know he took your undies with him.

“I will treasure them as much as the last pair,” he admits with a woebegone smile that crushes your heart.

Your legs are trembling beneath you, and you hold out a hand to him, inviting him to follow you. “Snuggle with me?”

A few long moments pass, until you think he might reject the idea, but then he takes your smaller mitt in his and tugs you down into his lap. It is silly, how secure you feel curled up in this man’s arms, your head finding the warm crook of his neck. His masculine smell is utterly divine, and you could fall asleep there, with his long fingers stroking your hair. You snuggle in the quiet aftermath, spent and ever so content.

This might be what heaven feels like.

You’re not sure how much time has passed, when he brushes his lips against the top of your head and asks, “What would you say to packing a bag and coming to my place for the weekend?”

The suggestion takes you aback. Heat floods you as you think about just what you would get up to on a long weekend away at Casa Wick.

It certainly wouldn't be innocent.

Your little bubble of carnal pleasure bursts when you think of everything that happened outside your apartment, before you pleasured each other into a mind-numbed stupor.

“I would say I feel like you have an ulterior motive besides enjoying my company.”

“I do enjoy your company.”

“And I think you think I'm in danger. Are you ready to talk about that?”

“Am I allowed to say no?”

“No.”

He huffs with laughter, clearly amused with you. But behind it all, you see the shadow of worry in his eyes, a tension at the corners of his mouth. “Come home with me, and we can talk about there.”

You tilt your head, wondering if he would be so diabolical as to fuck you into a blissfully complacent stupor so he didn’t have to answer your questions the whole weekend. You’ve never been good at taking orders—or hell, even advice—at face value. You like to make decisions—read mistakes—for yourself. But maybe, just this once, you could have faith that someone has your best interests at heart. He’s older than you, maybe wiser, and seems to know a little something you don’t about the workings of the underworld of New York City. As surreal as it seems...you could actually be in serious danger.

Seeing that you are still thinking, he sweetens the pot, nuzzling the shell of your ear with his nose. “I will cook for you and spoil you rotten.”

You can only imagine what carnal delights spoiling implies with this man.

Well…fuck.

“Fine. I’ll pack a bag. But we are just postponing this Q & A.”

“Fair enough.” You extricate yourself from his lap with a stretch, and he gives you a light smack on your rear as you make your way for your bedroom. When you turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow he pays you a panty-melting (if you’d been wearing any) smirk that turns your brain to mush.

This man.

It occurs to you that this man is, in fact, dangerous to you. Not in terms of violence, but…you sense in yourself that if he asked nicely, you just might give him anything. You understand more than ever how and why Helen fell so quickly for John Wick, as you find yourself surrendering to your addiction to him with a secret smile.

<<PART 4 PART 6>>

#john wick #john wick x reader #john wick x you #keanu reeves #john wick fic #john wick x y/n #keanu reeves x you

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in1-nutshell · 2 months

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Hello love! I know it would be a long while until you respond but for now, as I am writing this, Happy Valentine’s and Family’s Day! (Or whatever you are celebrating) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So, I have a big TFP theory. You don’t need to write any fics for this, I just would like some reactions and some of your thoughts to this, cause you really know a lot about the TFP characters and stories. And if this is not your thing, please do skip it, I don’t mind at all. So, the other day I was analyzing the TFP characters designs with my friends, and I noticed something interesting: Ratchet, despite being a medic, got big and bulky hands and fingers. Like, if the man is a medic and a technician, why are his fingers designed to be so big and fat? How could he perform surgeries and work on machines smoothly like this? And if you look at Knockout, his fingers are knife-like and agile and clearly made to be a surgeon. And the same is with Soundwaves— his hands are also long and skinny, wonderful with working on computers. Both very different from Ratchet’s. So here is my theory: (forgive me if I missed other important canon points in TFP that goes against this theory. I am kinda new to it) but my theory says that TFP Ratchet was never born nor trained to be a medic. Instead, he was trained to become a warrior. Other proof for this is that Ratchet got muscular square build like Wheeljack, and in the episode where he used Synthetic Energon, he became extremely powerful and good at battles, but there is no way the energon alone could have suddenly taught him so many battle skills and techniques. However, at some point in Ratchet’s life, he chose to become a medic and the technician despite not being completely suited for it, either due to his own passion and dream, or because of the situation. But Ratchet was smart, and not only managed to work his way into this field, he also became a master at it. This also explains why he has so many tools all the time, and why he always “needed that”, cause his own body and hands itself are not suited for most jobs he does, and he needed a whole bunch of tools to help him. Like if I recall correctly neither Knockout nor Soundwave ever needed that many. And this might be another reason why Rafael was even better than Ratchet was at certain computer jobs. Of course, Raf is also a little genius, and is full of talents himself, but another factor could be that Raf got smaller and more agile fingers that are better built for typing, and have less limitations to computers compared to Ratchet. So yeah, what are your thoughts on this? I don’t think the whole Ratchet’s fingers things are ever pointed out by anyone else. You can just provide a single paragraph of thoughts. Thank you for your time.

This a very interesting theory you have.

It would make sense to have slimmer digits to perform more sensitive surgeries. It would be a bit harder to do it with bulkier digits.

Ratchet being a born/ created warrior is also an interesting concept to think about.

Imagine if we didn't get Ratchet as a medic, but as some warrior.

I personally think that he is built 'boxy' so he can look more friend shaped.

Comparing a fuller, 'box' like character to one that is thin and sharp; you would be more drawn to the box than the sharp.

Huggable even.

Ratchet can come off as cold, but ultimately cares for everyone around him. He keeps most of his problems and opinions to himself neatly packaged away.

Like a box.

Knockout is very much a vain character and has repeatedly stated that he is more useful in 'slicing and dicing' than putting things back together.

Hence, the saw.

Probably the reason why Ratchet gets more frustrated at his tools being destroyed could be because most of his tools are made by him, for him.

Thinking back on how limited resources are and how probably most if not all medical supplies/ tools are broken or dented. Nothing is new and minted, they wont work the same as a one fresh out of the assembly line.

He would be rightfully mad if the only 'good' tools were getting broken on the daily. The ones that he has to ask for help with is because they have been repaired and disfigured so much it doesn't work the same as before.

Ratchet is probably used to the newer, the 'standard' tools more than the make shift ones.

This was fun to think about! Hope everything is good on your end!

#tfp ratchet #tfp discussions

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heathersdesk · 1 month

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Holy Week: The Anointing

Mary of Bethany, who came to anoint Christ for his burial in Matthew 26, performed an act of faith and devotion that even his chosen Twelve were unable to perform for him.

She understood that Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah, the Son of God. She also knew, and had the courage to confront, that Jesus was going to die. She wasn't in denial of this fact. She didn't attempt to change this reality through violence or vengeance. She accepted it and came to perform the anointing for his body.

What she knew to be true, Jesus was still fighting with the Twelve to get them to understand and accept. They resisted the truth they didn't want to hear. As a result, they were unprepared to help him in the coming days the way he needed them to.

What we can gather about the struggle here is one we still see in the Church today: women will have access to divine truths that men will not have the faith to discern. And when the source of that truth is a woman, they will not believe it because women are not reliable sources of truth to them. Even when Jesus corrected them for criticizing her, saying the ointment she brought to him wasn't wasteful because it was for his burial, they were still in denial that he was actually going to die.

The Church has done a great deal of work to bring women, their voices and perspectives, into the administrative circles of the Church. There has been over a decade of training on the importance of councils with women on them, delegating assignments to women, making women and their contributions more visible. The mileage may vary, but a significant portion of church membership knows this is how things are supposed to work, even if they are poor at implementing it into practice.

What I still see, however, is that men in leadership still struggle to accept women as sources of truth they themselves do not possess. There is an attitude still that women are only trustworthy as long as they're repeating back to men the things they already believe. When it comes to the kind of revelation that serves God in innovative or difficult ways, in their minds, those answers shouldn't be coming to women first.

Jesus Christ trusted women. He found willing, capable disciples among them. They exceeded the faith of his chosen Twelve many times, and Jesus used their faith as examples to these men to challenge their entrenched gender bias. Jesus Christ didn't subscribe to the rigid gender binary that men subscribed to in that day, and it's a struggle he is still having with men to this day.

Jesus was the perfect teacher and advocate for women. He did not tolerate the disrespect that so often defined being a woman then. He doesn't tolerate it now. And as we contemplate the spirit of Easter, celebrating the liberation of the captive, this is the liberation I still find myself praying for.

The hope I have for the future of the Church is the one where we finally achieve the equality Jesus spent his entire life teaching about. Where the preferences and ignorance of men in leadership is no longer a stumbling block to me on my pathway home to my Heavenly Parents.

I've never prayed about this where the answer has ever changed.

"What are you going to do about it?"

Answer: Never stop telling the truth. Never stop reaching for what Jesus taught is my right to receive. Reach out and take what is mine, regardless of how men try to obstruct me. And most importantly, make sure I keep the way open for others who come after me. I'm not the only one hurt by the gender binary. I'm not free until we're all free. And like Jesus, I will stick with it for as long as it takes, even if it takes another two thousand years.

#mormon #lds #mormonism #tumblrstake #the church of jesus christ of latter day saints #religion #faith #queerstake #christianity #scripture study #new testament #bible study #holy week #easter

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summmeister · 4 months

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A Look Over the Art I Made in 2023

2023 has come and gone, with a sizeable improvement on my art skills. Once again, I am VERY proud of the work I managed to accomplish this year. I'll be going over some of the highlights month by month in this post, being sure to point out anything of note.

JANUARY

Starting off the year, I made some new artwork of Skweeb! I consider this fairly outdated now, but it did start a few trends with the character, mainly how I draw shine on him. His eyes bulge outwards, they're not holes! I also drew @akfamilyhome's character, Leddy.

FEBRUARY

This was a BIG month for me! I tried a lot of new things, and most of them worked out! This month also contains what I consider to be one of my best drawings this year, a celebration of Hollow Knight's 6th anniversary. Other highlights include a dashing tribute to Dangeresque and an entirely new reference sheet for Skweeb!

MARCH

March was not a particularly noteworthy month. These are the only two drawings from it! That said, I am quite happy getting any drawings out this month at all! As you'll see later on, this wasn't actually my most dry month.

APRIL

A VERY full month! I can't even fit everything I wanted to! Lots of Skweeb here, some Lucy too! Also a fitting send-off to Courtney (very sad Dead End got cancelled). Tried some big things here, like with the parody Album art, but for the most part I was just doing what I was good at: simple character full-bodies.

MAY

VERY dry month for art. This is the only piece from May! I participated in @some-fool-fp's aRtPG collab this month. Skweeb joins the party!!!!! Made my own custom logo for him, too.

I had a LOT of college work this month. I was working on a game!!! I got the highest grade possible on it, very proud of that. If you would like to play it, you can do so here. Just a warning though, it's very short and VERY jank at times.

JUNE

Another big month!! Some proper reference of Winslow, another Jevil drawing, and my FAVORITE piece of Skweeb art to date!!! The pose and the shading is just so good on it, I love it.

JULY

...Well this is awkward.

Art Fight was this month, and with all of my effort going towards that, I kinda... didn't draw any of my own art this month. Whoops.

Let's press fast forward, shall we?

AUGUST

A NEW OC WAS CREATED THIS MONTH!!!! Meet Chao. He helps out at the circus. He babby. I put a TON of effort into getting his design just right and ensuring he had the proper referencing before working on anything else. I love this 'lil guy.

Also some of my favorite art from this year!!! Inspired by Lemon Demon's "One Weird Tip", I made some art that takes place on a ficticous desktop! Getting the shapes and text right was hard, but I am so glad I put the time and effort in.

SEPTEMBER

Always Watching.

WOW, I am so so proud of what I accomplished with this CoTL piece. Everything from the pose to the composition and the use of colour is just PERFECT. This is up there in my favourite pieces of art from this year.

Skweeb and Jack Frost are here too... wait, it's not December yet!

OCTOBER

A certain someone turned 2 this month! My baby boy, now 2 years old... how time flies...

It was halloween this month too... but Skweeb isn't dressing up this year. It's Lucy in his place! Got some nice Jax art here too, I love that asshole.

NOVEMBER

I was never the most content with my previous Jevil artwork. I never felt like I was giving it my all, which is why I'm happy to say that this month, I did!

I also took a second shot at drawing Jax; this time, featuring Pomni! I used thinner lines and taught myself how to draw hands a whole lot better, I think it helped, haha.

Lastly, (part of) my piece for @hillelart's 10th Anniversary FNAF collab! The full thing is staying secret for now. Keep an eye out for January 15th!

DECEMBER

Finally, we arrive at December.

Funnily enough, I didn't actually draw for half the month. But when I got back into it, I got BACK in. I'm very proud of both of these pieces, and the shading and blending I used in them! This certainly feels like a new era of my art, and I'm looking forward to continuing it!

And that's it. You made it to the end! Most people just together a simple image for their art recap, and while that certainly works just fine, I like to go into the nitty gritty, write down my entire year in art, y'know?

I'm not sure if this year contains as much progress as 2022, but it certainly contains a BOATLOAD of progress! Look back at the start of the post and compare it to the end of the post, the difference is insane!

Lastly, I've got just one more thing to show, once again, redrawing my first ever piece to mark off yet another year. I hope you like it, you'll only have to wait another 365 days for the next one!

Bring on 2024!

#digital art #digital illustration #summs-art #art #artists on tumblr #artwork #digital artist #original character #skweeb #summs-thoughts #cult of the lamb #the amazing digital circus #five nights at freddy's security breach #jevil #lemon demon #clown oc #sam and max #hollow knight

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comfortablecomfort · 9 months

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A Christmas Promise

(Okay, this is my first attempt at a tickle fic. Sorry if it's shit, also sorry if Matt is somewhat inaccurate. This is a gift for @trrickytickle)

Ler(s): Edd, Matt

Lee: Tom

Edd sighed at the loud ruckus being caused outside. It was that time of year again, Christmas. And of course he and Matt got all their little festive decorations.

Unfortunately for them, since it was Christmas, Tom decided to put on his Scrooge act again, and decide to shoot down Santa Claus from the roof again.

"What's that sound?" Asked Matt, as he just finished staring at his reflection.

"Tom's doing his "Santa Shooting... again." Edd Muttered.

The Duo went outside, only to find Tom on the roof, trying to add Santa to a "Death List"

Edd pinched the bridge of his nose, "Tom, are you finished?"

Tom didn't answer, he didn't feel like it right now

"Tom, come on. What is it with you and hating Christmas?" Asked Edd

"Just hate it," Tom muttered

Edd slightly snarked, "That's your response? You just hate it?"

"Tim! Why won't you celebrate Christmas with us?" Matt whined

"I am, just not with you two." Tom replied with a hazy glare

"Tom, if you keep this up-"

"Huh? What are you two gonna do if I ignore ya? Why don't you go back inside and celebrate this damn holiday, leave me alone." Tom snapped

Edd and Matt went back inside, annoyed at Tom's "festive" antics.

"When is he gonna stop doing this?" Matt asked

"I doubt he will, this has got to stop" Edd stated

"How are we gonna make him stop?" Matt asked again

"Ugh! I don't know... Maybe we could hide all his alcohol or-"

Edd noticed some a long string of Christmas Lights simply laying there on the floor, then he had a pretty sweet idea.

"Maybe we should tie him up with this?" Edd suggested, picking up the string.

Then they set out there little plan...

Tom grumbled as he looked at his sniper rifle, all out of ammo

"Just Great" He sighed.

Slowly stepping down, he opened the door and entered the house, but all he saw was Edd casually playing with his fingers, a little suspicious..

Edd called out, "Hey Tom!"

Hesitantly, Tom called back with a simple, "Hi"

Edd popped the question, "So, are you done santa shooting?"

"Unfortunately for you, no. I just need to get more ammo." Tom snarked

"Well, alright then." Edd simply responded

Tom looked a little confused at Edd's simple response.

"You're not gonna like, scold me?" Tom asked, somewhat baffled

"Nope. But I do have one suggestion, though." Edd said with a smile

"...What?"

"Watch your back."

Before Tom could respond, Matt had already picked him up and wrapped the lights around his waist, Tom struggled against his hold, Edd got up and helped Matt tie the strands all over his body.

"Gotcha!" Edd said with amusement.

Tom struggled and kicked in his restraints.

"What are you two doing?! Let me go!"

"No way Tom, this is for your own good." Matt said, in a mother scolding his child kind of way.

"Sorry Tom, but you've been doing this "I hate Christmas" thing for too long. It's time we taught you a lesson." Edd said

"Okay, how exactly how are you gonna make me stop Edd?" Tom asked with an unamused look

Edd was stuck, Tom was all tied up, now what?

Until he realized, every part of Tom was tied, except for his two feet.

Edd gave a mischievous smirk. He had yet another great idea, and the look on his face was making Tom a bit nervous, but he didn't want to express it.

"Well, Tom, due to the position you're in, there is one way we can convince you." Edd winked as he put his hand on Tom's left foot

Tom was getting extremely confused at this point, "Why are you putting your hand on my-"

Tom stopped speaking as Edd took off his shoe.

Wait...

Edd's grin and him taking his shoe off...

Oh No...

"E-Edd?" Tom asked, extremely nervous.

"What are we trying to do, Edd?" Matt asked

"You see Matt, I have a feeling Tom here is ticklish.."

"Oh! That makes sense!" Matt chirped and removed the other shoe, revealing white socks

"Last Chance Tom." Edd warned him as he dragged his finger down his foot

"Don't you dare." Tom snarled in pure fear.

Edd rolled his eyes and scribbled his fingers all over Tom's left foot, bubbly laughter poured from Tom's mouth.

"PFFFFFFT- W-AHAHAHAIT EHEHEDD!" Tom screeched at Edd's ticklish touch.

"Your laugh is so cute Tom!" Matt chirped and tickled his other foot. Tom's laugher increasing in pitch

"STAHAHAHAHAHAP NAHAHAT THERE!"

Tom let out a squeal, which increased the blush on his face.

"Okay, Tom, you want us to stop?" Edd asked, in a warning tone, Matt preparing as well

"YEHEHES L-LET ME GOHOHO!"

"Stop ruining Christmas then." Edd teased, giving Tom's toes a slight pinch.

"SHUHUHUT UHUHUP! D-DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DOHOHO!" Tom spat out.

Edd and Matt increased the pace of the tickling.

"How about now?" Edd asked

"GAHAHAHAH! I WON'T RUIN CHRISTMAS!" Tom pleaded

"Hmm, do you promise?" Matt asked

"IHIHIHI FUCKIN PROHOHOMISE! I'LL EVEN GET YOU TWOHO GIHIFTS!"

"No more Santa Shooting!" Edd scolded

"Indubitably!" Matt agreed

"OHOHOHOKAHAHAY!" Tears were forming in the corners of Tom's non existent eyes

Edd and Matt cease their tickling, watching their friend pant and giggle.

"So, you won't ruin Christmas?" Edd asked

"I. Won't" Tom panted

"Great Plan Edd!" Matt cheered

"Now, there is one more request we have." Edd said

"What now?" Tom asked

"Will you celebrate with us? For once?" Edd pleaded

"Do I have a choice?" Tom asked

"Aww! Please Tom! We won't tickle you!" Matt also pleaded, giving Tom puppy dog eyes.

Tom accepted defeat.

"Fine, I'll celebrate."

"YAY!" Edd and Matt cheered giving goofy little grins.

"You two owe me smirnoff."

(Aight I'm done, bye.)

#eddsworld #eddsworld tickles #lee!tom #ticklish!tom #tickle fic #ler!edd #ler!matt

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vbecker10 · 2 years

Text

Shadows of the Past

Part 54 (Part 53)

_______________________________________

(Y/N POV)

“Seriously, what is taking you two so long?” Nat asks, jokingly as you and Loki finally make your way towards the team waiting by the back door.

You laugh, shaking your head and pull Loki as you walk quicker but suddenly your arm is yanked and you realize he stopped. You hold onto his hand tightly and ask, “Loki, are you ok?”

He looks distant, like he is deep in thought as he takes a step towards you, now standing only inches from you. “Y/N… there’s something I need to ask you,” he says in a low voice.

Your mind races, unsure what caused this shift in him. He had been so happy and carefree only moments before and now he seemed so serious. You are afraid he is going to ask you about your time at Hydra, about what they did to you and you don’t know if you can hold yourself together well enough to answer those types of questions right now.

He gently touches your cheek and smiles at you, quickly putting your mind at ease. “Y/N?” he asks and you nod.

“Sorry, what did you want to ask me?” you ask him, vaguely aware that the rest of the team is still waiting for you both.

“This isn’t really how I pictured doing this but...” he says and you look at him confused.

“Doing what? Loki, why are you being so weird?” you ask him with a smile.

He kisses the back of your hand and appears to take a deep breath. He looks nervous, which is not something you are used to. “Y/N...” he says and suddenly you feel yourself holding your breath but you aren’t sure why.

“I had envisioned doing this somewhere more romantic... and private,” he says with a laugh and you can’t help but turn to see the whole team walking towards the two of you. When you turn back, Loki is on one knee, still holding your hand in both of his.

“Loki?” you ask quietly as your heart begins pounding wildly at the sudden realization of what is happening.

“Never in my thousand years have I felt this way about anyone. You accepted me for who I am and taught me to accept myself. Every day, you have show me what real love is. Y/N, I want you to know that I will always be here for you as you have always been here for me,” he pauses, a green flash of light appears in one of his hands.

“If there is one thing I learned during the last two weeks... when I thought I might lose you... it is that I cannot picture my life without you. I love you, Y/N, and I will love you until my last breath,” he tells you and you can feel yourself ready to respond even though he still hasn’t reached that part yet. You cover your mouth with your hand in an attempt to let him finish.

He smiles and opens the small box he conjured. He holds it towards you and you don’t even look, keeping your eyes fixed on his as he finally asks, “Y/N, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Yes!” you practically scream as he stands quickly. You throw your arms around him and he puts one hand on your lower back pulling your body flush to him. His other hand cups your cheek softly as he leans to kiss you. He kisses you deeply, desperately and you hear him moan quietly as you bite him lower lip gently.

Suddenly you feel yourself blush as you hear cheering and clapping, you separate from Loki and realize the whole team is still watching. You turn towards Loki, hiding your face against his chest while you giggle. He keeps his arms around you and smiles wide as he excitedly tells everyone you said yes.

(LOKI POV)

The team gathered in the common area for a few drinks to celebrate Y/N’s safe return and your impromptu engagement. You stand behind Y/N with your arms around her waist as she talks to Stark. She has her hands on top of yours and your rest your chin on her shoulder. He promises her a large party when everything settles down and she laughs as she thanks him. Thor comes over to the three of you and asks to talk to you for a minute. You kiss Y/N’s cheek and leave her talking excitedly with Stark about his ideas for the party.

You talk to Thor for a few minutes and then out of the corner of your eye, you see Y/N excuse herself from Stark and wander to a quiet corner of the room. She stands there alone for a moment but is soon joined by Steve and Bucky. She smiles and laughs with them but something seems off. You continue to watch her, no longer paying attention to your conversation with Thor. She crosses her arms and holds herself as the three of them talk. She looks across the room and when her eyes catch yours, her smile falters and you know she needs to leave.

"Sorry Thor, I have to go," you tell your brother as you walk away without waiting for a response.

As you get closer to Y/N you can see that her eyes look distant, as if she is just going through the motions of being happy. "Sorry to interrupt, but I think it might be time for us to head back to our room," you say and they both tell you to have a goodnight.

The two of you walk quietly out of the party, she only nods as people welcome her back or congratulate you on your engagement. You look at Y/N as you get closer to the door but she doesn't seem to notice. She fidgets with the ring on her finger as she walks, rotating it and sliding it up and down her finger, but not looking at it.

Your heart feels heavy and you swallow hard as you worry you made a mistake. Y/N seemed so excited when you first asked her to be yours but was she having second thoughts already? Did you rush this... did she feel forced because you asked in front of everyone? All you wanted was to let her know you were hers and you wanted her to be yours but was it too much, too soon? You should have let her process everything that happened when she was taken before you sprang this on her...

You keep your hand on her lower back, guiding her towards the door. As soon as you are in the hallway, beyond the closed doors she walks away from you and leans against one of the walls.

"Y/N," you say quietly and she looks up slowly, putting on the fake smile again.

"I'm sorry," she whispers and looks back down, crossing her arms around herself.

You take a step towards her, standing directly in front of her. “Why are you sorry?” you ask her.

“I don’t know...” she mumbles.

She looks up at you but you hear the door to the common room open, music pours out. She quickly looks down, and avoids eye contact with whoever it was that walked past. You take her hand, pulling her gently away from the wall and lead her further down the hall to where it is more secluded.

“Love, please tell me what to do. How can I help you?” you ask her.

She’s quiet for a minute then says something you weren’t expecting, “I don’t know... just... don’t leave me alone.”

“Y/N, I promise, I would never do that,” you tell her as you hug her tightly. She hugs you back and for a moment you think she might be feeling better. When you pull away slightly to look down at her, she looks scared. You run your fingers through her hair softly and remind her, “You’re safe now, you know that don’t you?”

She nods and closes her eyes. “From Hydra...” she says.

“What else is scaring you?” you hope you can protect her from whatever it is.

“I’m worried about the tests,” she tells you, “I don’t want to feel like an experiment again.”

You pause for a moment, realizing she is talking about Palmer, Banner and Stark. They had agreed on the plane that it would be necessary to run extensive tests on Y/N to see what had been done to her. They wanted to find out more about the serum Hydra had created and its effects on her. She clearly had increased healing abilities but did she also have enhanced speed and strength like Steve and Bucky? Was she a super soldier now?

"Y/N..." you take her hand and she looks up at you. "I'll ask them to hold off their tests until you are comfortable but they would never hurt you. They just want to make sure you are ok, we all do.”

She nods again, “I know... will you go with me when they do it?”

“If you want me to, I will be there,” you respond.

She nods and then asks, "Can we go home now?"

You can't help the smile that creeps across your lips when she calls your room together 'home'. "Of course we can, love," you tell her and she smiles, a small smile but its real and that's all you can ask for. You squeeze her hand and she runs her thumb across your knuckles.

(Y/N POV)

Loki opens the door and lets you walk in first. “Welcome home, love,” he says as you cross the threshold into the room.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, smelling a mix of Loki’s cologne which you always sprayed all over the room, old and new books and the flowering plants you had been growing. You smile as you open your eyes and look around, everything is exactly as you left it.

You walk into the bedroom and you can feel Loki following you although he doesn’t say anything. You run your fingers across the neatly made green silk sheets on the bed and turn towards him. He is leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed, smiling at you.

You yawn and suddenly realize how tired you really are. You are exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. Loki walks over to you and puts his arms around you. He kisses the top of your head and says, “Lets go to bed.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” you tell him as you yawn again. He laughs and then goes into the bathroom for a few minutes. When he comes back out he is wearing a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt. You go into the bathroom next, brushing your teeth and changing into a pair of shorts and a tank top.

You look at yourself in the full length mirror before leaving the bathroom and realize Loki will notice your scars are gone. You want to tell him what Hydra did to you but you just can’t right now. It is still so fresh, all you want to do right now is feel safe in his arms and try to sleep for the first time in weeks. You decide to change into a pair of his sleep pants, rolling them up so they aren’t dragging all over the floor.

When you walk out he smiles at you, he always loves seeing you in his clothes or in anything green. He had told you both things meant that you were truly his. You crawl in under the covers, he is laying on his back so you lean over him and kiss him. He puts one hand on your back and his other hand on your cheek as you keep kissing him.

You pull away to yawn again and you both laugh. He kisses your nose and you say, “I love you Loki.”

You rest your head on his chest and he puts his arms around you. “I love you too, Y/N,” he responds as his fingers move up and down your back lightly.

You close your eyes and listen to the familiar sound of his heart beat. A few moments later you break the silence, “Loki?”

“Y/N?” he asks.

“We’re engaged,” you say, the smile on your face growing.

He laughs, “Yes, we are.”

You kiss his cheek and he kisses the top of your head as you close your eyes again. You hold him tightly and he keeps his arms around you. You slowly feel yourself falling asleep. Almost as soon as you are asleep, the nightmares come...

@michelleleewise @evansabove1981 @ace-of-gay @fic-recs-from-lokis-gem @poetic-fiasco @lokisprettygirl22 @soubi001 @kats72 @misswimberly @meibruges @juulle987 @asgardianprincess1050 @el-zef @xorpsbane @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @lulubelle814 @annoyingmarvelreader @yoongissidebitchh @ihategreeneggs @daggers-and-mischief @nonsensicalobsessions @chaotics17 @redbluekjw @lokiprompts @lovingchoices14 @roseeatta @hopefuldreamers-world @ladymischief11 @stevihj @too-strong-to-lose @imalovernotahater @lokisninerealms

Let me know if you want to be added! 💚

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aajjks · 3 months

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mommy issues!JK

now it’s your turn to blush.

did jungkook just ask you out? and did he reveal that he’s SINGLE?!

turns out the rumors aren’t true, but he still could be talking to the mother of his seol. you just want to make sure you aren’t overstepping any boundaries with jungkook. well, you are overstepping A LOT of boundaries but that’s your problem. you’re always cautious, always working, always into planning ahead instead of letting loose. since it’s a dinner you can’t let too much loose but you can’t remember the last time someone has asked you on a date. mainly because you turned every last person that asked down.

“w-wow” you stutter “i’m-i’m flattered mr. jeon but i don’t know. i don’t think it would be appropriate. i’m your son’s teacher and wouldn’t it be weird to go on a dinner date with your teacher?”

your argument is valid. being on a date with your school teacher is very awkward but if there’s anything jungkook is good at, it’s manipulating you. he’s trying to woo you here, and sometimes you need an extra push to give him the answer he’s looking for; the answer he wants.

you let out a sigh “fine, i’ll come but please do not tell anyone about this. people gossip about you sometimes” you joke but jungkook is aware of the glances he receives when he bursts through the doors of the school like maniac. from the moment he first arrived all eyes were on him but you were the only person to catch his.

from the multiple beauty marks littered on your face to your pixie cut and your banging body, you’re definitely a catch (pixie inspo: https://pin.it/5W2Gi8ZOb). despite your physical beauty, your love for his son, seol tops everything because you treat him like he’s your own. he does influence seol to love you like you’re his biological mother but that’s because one day you and him will give him a sibling, jungkook is sure of it.

“before you go, i wanted to talk to you about seol’s behavior lately. today he had a great day. he played nice with his friends, still clingy but he didn’t hit anyone but i wanted to warn you that if there’s no change in his behavior…seol will get suspended from school for two days”

the look on jungkook’s face is hard to watch. you feel bad and now that you’re aware of him raising seol on his own (maybe), he probably feels as though it’s his fault when it isn’t (it is).

“he’s possessive, mr. jeon and you know i love your son. i really, really do but the hitting has to stop. is seol your only child or are you and his mother planning on having another kid? some children experience behavior changes when their family is welcoming another child, so it’s completely normal”

you’re only asking to clear your mind about this ‘baby mama drama.’ jungkook made it very clear that he’s a single man but what about being a single parent too? coparenting?

you need answers.

~🫧

(ofc you can imagine mi!y/n however you like but for me? she’s got a pixie cut 😊 only because that style is so rare on this app)

Jungkook leans back, his eyes still set on you. “you are my sons teacher not mine so? It’s not weird.” he clears out, why are you even concerned about the fact that you’re overstepping your boundaries with him when he wants you to do that?

You are very aware, to notice the gossip that people do about him but you’re not aware enough of the fact that he likes you a lot, he’s liked you for the past year.

And he’s actually kind of embarrassed about Seol’s behavior lately, he never taught his kid to hit people, so he’s definitely going to talk to him about it, but the fact that you’re so worried about him has him gushing internally.

You don’t know about Seol’s birth giver do you? Well, it is about time that he lets you know the whole story. Also, can you just let him celebrate about the fact that you agreed to go to the dinner with him?

Jungkook sighs, sitting up, fixing his posture, so he can lean closer to you. “How do I say this? It’s really hard to raise a child completely on your own.” He bats his eyelashes, looking at you, so you’ll pity him.

he scoffs when you ask him if he’s going to give Seol another sibling… what the heck, why would he? Unless you’re talking about you- but you’re not.

And when was the last time he got laid? Maybe two years ago.

“I juggle having a job and bring a single parent.”

“Uh what?” He laughs, getting all awkward? So all this time you were busy thinking that he was in a relationship? Wow… what even gave you the idea?

“Ms yn… Seol’s biological mother died while giving birth to him… and we weren’t ever in a relationship.” He sighs, folding his arms across his chest. “she was actually a sex worker I met- we had a one night stand and I was too drunk to use protection.”

He was way too sad that night, and he had gulped down all the alcohol he could have. He is trying to read her face. Are you going to judge him for this? “I was just 21.. I had a fight with my father because of my sister.” He doesn’t get along with his father.

But he loves his mother and sister. “can you believe I didn’t even know that woman’s name- it was a stupid meaningless night, but… I got to know that she was pregnant at the hospital after she had died… I don’t even know how the hospital staff found me, but they had called me the night he was born..” he shakes his head.

“I did do a DNA test and he’s my son-it’s pretty obvious because he looks just like me.” He was Really scared when He got to know about his son because he was just 21 without a job or parenting experience.

He literally leeched off his parents, and when his father found out about jungkooks son?? he kicked him out, but you don’t need to know that not right now at least. “I…I am so sorry that he’s been misbehaving… I try to make sure that he turns out good but it’s hard because he doesn’t have a female influence in his life- specifically a maternal influence.”

“He doesn’t have a mommy.”

“Him and I- we’re all we have.. we both lack a female figure in our lives, Ms yn… you must’ve noticed how he called you mommy? that’s because he feels your love with you he doesn’t really get to experience of our circumstances… he thinks of you as his mother because I don’t even know why, but I don’t have it in me to burst this little bubble of his.”

“And I don’t have a lover- no one.”

“he’s really happy with you. So I hope you understand but I’ll make sure to talk to him about hitting his fellow kids or anyone is not OK.”

He sighs sadly once more.

“maybe he’s possessive of you because he doesn’t want to share you and it’s hard for him to see you love some other kid that probably has a mother.” He looks away from you, “but if you want, I could always let him know that you’re not his mother… and he will stop being so possessive about you.”

#ask: mi!jk #yn is you so she can be however you want 💗#also that pixie cut is gorg #🫧 anon

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 1 year

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A year ago yesterday Thich Nhat Hanh died, and fellow Vietnamese immigrant and magnificent poet Ocean Vuong wrote about his teacher and sorrow, beautifully, wisely, and generously. As Ocean always does, he also celebrated the undying power of words, language, and story.

Here's his letter to the Plum Village communities:

Dear monastic and lay practitioners in our Buddhist communities far and wide—In the days following Thầy’s continuation, I have been asked by various media outlets, as a Buddhist author, to speak on this momentous occurrence in our community. But I declined—for what have I to say that Thầy’s teaching has not already solidified, already made so self-evidently clear? His practice and life’s work were always to prepare us for this moment and, in this way, prepare us for us. For our own grief in Samsara. I have always felt that to do nothing was wiser than to do something without strong intention or proper conditions in place. But when Denise Nguyen, executive Director of the Thích Nhất Hạnh Foundation, reached out asking to share directly to our community, this call made sense to me, to speak to you as one among you.

Language and sound, as we know, are one of our oldest mediums of transmission. The root of the word “narrative” is “gnarus,” Latin for knowledge. As such, all stories are first and foremost the translation of knowledge. But not only that, they are the transmission of energy. And, as Thầy taught us, energy cannot die. As a poet, this is a truth I live with every day. Because to read a few lines of Gilgamesh or The Iliad or the Tale of Kiều, is to receive the linguistic energy of a mind working up to over four thousand years ago. In this way, to speak is to survive, and to teach is to shepherd our ideas into the future, the text is a raft we send forward for all later generations. We know this because we have all clung, are still clinging, to the raft of Thầy’s and Buddha’s teachings.

How lucky we are, as a species, to have such a vehicle. I do believe that language, despite major developments in medicine and science, is still our most advanced technology. We owe it to ourselves to commit to building new rafts for all sentient beings. Our work, as was Thầy’s, is part of a long tradition of liberation that spans multiple epochs and myriad realms. Yes, energy, and even people, do not truly die. But I must speak, too, as a lay practitioner, who does not yet possess the merit to devote to a monastic life, and must admit that my heart breaks to see Thầy’s body prepared for cremation, to know his journey through death and dying, which, as the Buddhas taught us, is one of the passages of suffering all sentient beings must move through. And because I am not strong enough in my practice, I watched the procession for Thầy’s funeral with tears in my eyes, both for the beauty of the community he built but also for the immense sadness in my heart. I weep for myself and others who do not yet have the wisdom and merit to bear this pain well.

When my own mother was dying of cancer in November 2019, on her deathbed, she said to me, her voice weak, and the heat energy already fading from her limbs, Con ơi, giờ con đã biết nỗi đau này, con phải đi giúp người ta nghe. / My son, now that you know this sickness, you must take this knowledge to help people. My mother, though illiterate, memorized Vietnamese Buddhist sutras and would listen to Thầy’s teaching on her iPhone with regularity. I told her: Yes, I will not let this pain be experienced in vain. And since so many of us are feeling pain about Thầy’s continuation, I think it is helpful to see sadness, too, as energy. May we let the sadness come and teach us how to live. Let it be the mud for the lotus, as Thầy says. Let us sit with it and let it pass through us so that it might be transformed to something like love.

My mother, having learned from Thầy, knew that pain can be recycled into knowledge. Isn’t that what language is?

And I ask now, specifically of our monastics brothers and sisters, folks, and elders, as you have Xuất Gia, or “went forth,” and therefore are the true pioneers of human phenomena, I ask you humbly, to seek, in your practice (as I am sure you have already done), all the ways sadness might be transformed. And we, the lay practitioners who have “remained”, will follow your path. This is why monastics are, to my mind, the true embodiments of courage, are warriors more grounded and determined than anyone who has ever raised a sword: you have chosen to shave your heads and march into the vast unknown, beyond the cliff of human knowledge, while we remain here in relative safety and comfort, awaiting your discoveries, ready to go forth.

It is said that grief is actually love—but with nowhere to go. In a quest that might very well take up the remainder of my life in this form, I ask of myself and also of you, dear community: where shall we go, both within and outside us? Now that we have such a capacious raft, one that can hold so many, fortified by Thầy’s teaching, there might still be sadness, yes, but there is no more fear. Knowing you are out there, mining the answers when you sit down, when you follow your breath, when you make offerings, knowing you are just ahead of us, and that I can glimpse your bright robes along the road, like scraps of sunlight among the grey detritus, how can I ever be scared? But more so, how can I ever be lost?I am sad, yes. And I will be so for some time. My heart aches—but despite, or perhaps because of that, I have found you. And in you I have found myself. That is the narrative, that is the knowledge.

Yours, in hope and word, --Ocean Vuong

(pháp danh: đức Hải)

#Thich Nhat Hanh #grief #Ocean Vuong #energy

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reasonsilovemywife · 2 years

Text

Happy Pride Month

Couple things on my mind: 1) Happy Pride Month. I’m sorry I didn’t post yesterday at the start of it. “A” and I went with Felix the dog to Stone Mountain. We did a short hike and went to the playground but it got hot really quick so we came home. I share this story to share another story. A while back when “A” was about 5 or 6, we were talking about a friend who has a son. “A” asked who our friends husband was and we said she didn’t have a husband, she had a wife and “A” was like, .”Cool, what’s her name?” and that’s how you talk to kids about people who have a same sex relationship and no one is confused. It’s crazy. It’s almost like intolerance is something taught. When you’re a child, someone close to you will plant a seed of belief inside you. If you water it, and nurture it, then over time it will grow broad and strong. But sometimes, when it’s a hurtful belief, like racism, bigotry, transphobia, homophobia... it’s your responsibility to chop that sucker down. 2) This year, Pride seems ... less of a celebration and more of a fight. More and more states in the US seem to think that the existence of the LGBTQIA+ community is something that should be quashed. I’m old enough to remember the AIDS crisis caused by Reagan. I’m old enough to remember gay men dying and their partners not being allowed to see them “because you’re not married, you’re not family.” I’m old enough to have done part time work at a funeral home where part of the planning for same-sex couples was to make sure each had power of attorney so they could actually plan for, and be part of, the end of life process. I see the events being planed and these aren’t parades, these are marches. Me, my wife, my children, my grandchildren, are allies. This is a safe place. I know Coming Out Day isn’t until October, but I want everyone to know that in whatever point of your life you are right now - out and proud, in the closet and nervous, everything in between - we’re here. We see you. You are valid, you are loved 3) And this only vaguely ties in but I wanted to mention it because I read a post on Reddit where a woman’s BF was weirded out by her asking him to grab some pads while he was at the store. So - this made me very mad. To all my friends with uteruses - hear me now. A person too afraid to tell the world they have a partner at home with a working uterus isn’t worth your time. I’m in the process of raising a girl for the second time. I’m married to the most wonderful person in the world that also has... ahem, had ... a uterus. I can tell you what brand, shape, size, and color products each of them have used. (Except my granddaughter, she’s not there, yet. Another couple years we hope). My daughter (who’s child we’re raising) once tried to embarrass me in the store when she was about 15. She yelled, “Dad can you get me some tampons while you’re down there” and so I shouted back, “Sure honey! Is it a heavy flow day?” and she got BEET red it was hilarious. So if your body is one that has a uterus and it’s functioning the way it should - do not let anyone around you that isn’t concerned about how you take care of yourself. Okay, this is long enough. I love you all, be safe, stay proud

#wife #love #pride #stay proud

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mxfitmatrix · 5 months

Text

I think a good chunk of the big heavy thing im feeling right now is left over grief from cutting my mom out of my life.

She was easily the 2nd most important person to me other than my brother for most of my life. She taught me to survive and to be ok with being silly as an adult. She created the holiday magic with me and stayed up late when I couldnt sleep because she couldnt sleep.

The older I get, the more my body becomes like hers. I have a lot of her health conditions now, and I look and sound a lot like her some days.

Then my heart shatters because I hear from my brother and his gf that shes supposidly forgotten why i left. Why i cant come back. She fell into some very narcissistic patterns and she had us so well trained to feed into them, to the point that I still feel guilty from time to time for holding my ground. But everytime I think, you know what its been a few months, maybe i can reach back out and we can talk and maybe i can express my conditions for coming back and we can work together to repair things. Then she lies and manipulates and it breaks my heart again.

This year I have to go through the holidays without the magic her traditions bring. They were dying for a while, but it still brings some whiplash when I have the urge to ask her when we are making krispelli or if she wants to do a yule celebration.

She just proved this week, and mind you its only wednesday as i type this (this shit started sunday night), that she has not grown at all, and if anything is getting worse as my brother begins to disconnect from her since her scapegoat is gone. Shes forgotten that her husband wanted to have me arrested if I stepped foot on property again, and that its because of their actions that i cant come over. Its not my choice, its respecting a boundary at best and being incredibly cautious over a man who cannot be anything less than the best in the room at all times always at worst. I cant fix them, and its not my job to. But im still sad. I dont have much hope that things will change.

Funny thing is, this is perpetuating family cycles too. It should be obvious to her whats happening. She did the same thing to her mom over 10 years ago! She cut my gma out of our lives because she didnt care about her kids.

And honestly I hope that she does know whats going on at some level. I hope she does know that shes wrong but isnt ready to fix it yet. The alternative is so much more painful and I'm not sure that I can reconsile that with my inner child in a way that will not fundamentally break me.

How do you handle it when your greatest hero becomes the ultimate villain after all?

All that to say, I'm feelin big sad, but I know its whats best for me right now. I am trying to look forward to new traditionsand hopefully breaking the bad luck surrounding me trying to help plan events.

Fucking love planning events. Would love it if people showed up to them sometime. (To be very clear and fair: 95% of cancellations are emergencies, unavoidable circumsyances like illness, and weird things that need to be taken care of. I refuse to blame my friends because they all try to show up in other ways and its a huge improvement over what used to be and i love them so deeply for it.)

So here's to ending generational trauma, the strange grief that comes from going low/no contact, and to any traditions that bring you joy in these cold dark months.

#jo babbles #aka time to process some big feelings before i have a meltdown

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alasanlain · 8 months

Text

I finished college, here's what I learnt.

June, this year, was the final month of college for me. It took me five and a half years to finish the entire curriculum, and during those times I did learn a lot.

No, this won't be a snarky thing where I'll say: nothing valuable was learnt at all during college! Because despite the overwhelming urge of saying that, I think being dismissive of all the good things college has taught me is dishonesty.

For my first year, I thought going into college was a mistake. Everything felt really out of place for me. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone, and that everyone is out for themselves.

I was right, of course, everyone did have their own goals, they are out for themselves. This is because I am no longer bound in the "high school" environment, where the goals were set by the teachers: essentially a higher power. Because of that, I feel lost.

One thing I really held on to from my first year is the allegory of the sea. My senior told me that being in college is like jumping on a large body of water, or the sea. Whether you decide to back out, keep swimming, or stay and drown, you're wet anyhow. Might as well.

That phrase, "might as well", is etched in my heart all the way until graduation.

What I like about the allegory is that it tactfully, and unknowingly, also describe how I felt at that time: lost, not knowing what to do, and facing a huge new reality. That was until third semester rolls in. I think, because of how new I was to the experience, I expected something different. But because the curriculum for new students in my college is very similar to high school, I also have a lingering harmful nostalgia to my days in school.

I remember talking to my parents about college. I said to them that nobody in there (my campus) is worth my time. My seniors only speak in jargons, and my classmates are not friendly at all.

So, first years taught me about despair. It's something I have never truly experienced before. Thankfully, I grit my teeth and told myself that this too, shall pass. That everything is going to be okay tomorrow, and that everyone will wake up the same way.

Truthfully, I would love to return back as a freshman. Experiencing that despair again, one that made me appreciate how melancholic some things can be. I wouldn't change a thing, cringy and all. The things I did during my freshmen years were the building blocks of who I am today.

Once the third semester rolls around, we started to develop our own interests in the specifics. We take the same classes, but it is evident that our pathways are going to separate one day. This is actually a good thing, because now for the first time I actually felt like a college student.

Things were sailing smoothly for now. I learnt little things like scientific writing, organizations, and further time management. My decision of joining an organization was a good one in my opinion. It led me to understand my friends and my seniors more. They are humans after all, not some mythical creature I imagined them to be.

Complex as they are, the more I hang out with them the more I appreciate their existence. I no longer view them as tropes or characters. I think of them as human beings. Flawed, personal, subjective, and beautiful human beings.

We will now move on further to the future, passing through the fourth and fifth semester. Honestly, because there weren't any significant events happening in those two semesters, I feel like I don't need to mention them. I was comfortable, something must happen to shake things up.

Something did happen.

I don't think anything can top the slow burn of the COVID-19 pandemic. It starts slowly, news from all the way over in China, people celebrating the "two-weeks" off campus, making plans with friends on how to spend those off period. But then it hits us all.

Two weeks turns into a month, and a month turns into a semester. I still remember the literal final days of me going to a physical college class as a bachelor. It was a Monday; we were studying Plant Genetics.

The professor ended the lecture by saying his plans of teaching us something later at 13:00 or the practical period of the course, but then after we all went downstairs, he called me. He told me that the dean passed an internal note to cease offline classes for the day and that the morning class we just had is the last class, effective immediately.

I passed this message to my friends, and we were a bit ecstatic. Especially those who are known to skip classes, they were over the moon. Seems like at the time we all view the pandemic as something trivial, something that may be large but will pass as soon as it comes.

Have you ever felt like you're in a loop? Like a dream you're in where, as soon as you wake up, you manage to find yourself in another dream. The desperation you feel at that moment and the want to escape the loop. Imagine that for an entire year.

During the pandemic, I did attend classes, but I have to admit around half of the times I fell asleep. I remember it was always a hot and humid day, and because of that every time I nod off on a class it turns into a full-blown nap.

At first it wasn't a habit, but habits form out of convenience. If an action is done repeatedly enough with no breaks from the inertia, it will become a habit. My habit was sleeping in the morning.

I won't get into a weird tangent where I would condemn morning sleep and what not. But if the previous wish were to be granted, and I were to relive the pandemic again, I would definitely avoid this habit.

See, because sleeping in the morning really makes you feel groggy afterwards. You essentially feel like you're missing out on something, but you have no idea what. This is worse because since it's the pandemic, there really is nothing to do.

All of this culminated in me doing absolutely nothing for an entire year.

At the time I chalked it up to depression. A direct result of confusion and a whole new environment. But doing so for an entire year broke me. Add to that my friends are graduating one by one.

I am not one to hold anything against my friends. I am not envious of them. However, I do feel like it is unfair. Like the sea allegory before, seems like they found their islands earlier than me.

It's possible, maybe, that they have a bit of help here and there. A raft to go with, a ship sailing around them, anything to reach the other side. For me, I felt alone.

Loneliness is powerful. Because humans are social creatures by design, and your brain could be imbalanced enough to feel loneliness and experience it without the knowledge of why. This is what happens to me for two years.

The final stretch of my college life is filled with that feeling. Loneliness. I feel like a pariah because my parents kept asking me about my grades and how I'm doing. This is until I decided to just say fuck it. Might as well.

I tried to sort things up, do my thesis, and everything I needed to do in order to actually finish college. Then it happened. Like wisps of air, breezing like nothing at all.

I graduated.

It wasn't a fanfare; it wasn't much of a celebration. All I did was attend graduation ceremonies and go home. I did take pictures with my family, so that's something. We rarely do that.

Maybe it is special, in its own way. Maybe I feel like it's a breeze because I haven't had time to really let it sink in yet. Maybe it really is nothing at all.

But to be honest, five and a half years is a long time. In that stretch of time, I did a lot of things. Many of them still haven't had their proper "end" yet.

This post is meant to be an effigy I burn to let my college go. The despair I felt in the start, the happiness of the middle, and all the blur of the end. I have finished my bachelor's degree, and I may be allowed to feel a bit more relaxed than before.

Wish You Were Here, Eosolpeun.

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