my fav thing in fics is when a character is like "oh why don't you ask the world's greatest detective." clearly referring to batman, and the other character just sighs and goes "I already asked tim :("
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dick and jason are the WORST when the batfam goes to carnivals and fairs. every time they see a 'skill' game ,they're going back and forth:
"i'd so win if we played that one"
"nuh uh. i'd win"
until they decide that they just have to play to see who's better. and of course they need a judge (just in case someone cheats), so they drag someone else down with them.
jason almost always loses, because dick grew up around carnivals and fairs whilst in the circus. he knows all the mechanics of those rigged games. either way they're both incredibly seasoned at the games, and walk away with so many prizes they neither want or need.
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Prompt:
Tim is the first to find out the Red Hood’s identity and from then on sticks to Jason during patrol like glue (much to Jason’s chagrin, dammit, it would feel wrong to beat up Robin when he’s that starry eyed…)
Cue: PANIC from the rest of the Batfamily, who still think Hood is a forty-something year old crime lord and now assume they’re dating.
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De-Aged Danny, gesturing to a dazed Bruce inside Wayne Manor: And this is Bruce! Otherwise known as the Himbo!
Reporters: Hmm, yes, interesting...
Bruce: What the-
Danny: I'm not sure what that word means. I heard it from Dick, but no one will give me my answer, not even Jason, who is easily bribed.
Bruce: Why are there reporters in my house!?
Danny, innocent and childlike: They asked to come inside, Bruce! They seemed like really nice people, so I thought it'd be polite to give them a tour.
Bruce, filled with infinite patience: I really wish you had asked me before you did that, chum.
Danny: But why? We don't have anything to hide... do we, Bruce?
Or, in order to rise to the Ghost Throne, Danny has to complete a series of trials to prove he is capable of ruling (or any other reason, Danny just needs to do trials to prove himself).
The last trial, issued by Clockwork, is thus: discover the Wayne Family secret in two weeks without the use of any of his powers.
He has one shapeshift to pick a form that could endere him to the Waynes, but only one before he starts and he has to get close to the family by his own wits. Danny, after studying the family and reading of one sentence summary of each Wayne, picks the body of a six-year-old little boy that looked like a child Jason Todd.
Bruce: That child is up to something.
Dick, third favorite: I don't know, Bruce; he acts like a normal kid.
Jason, #1 favorite: I doubt the old man's ever met a normal kid.
Tim, least favorite: Bruce is right, but can you please not talk like the villains from Chicken Run.
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a random socialite: “Your rude, spoiled children shouldn’t be allowed at these events. They ruin every party they go to.”
Bruce, a rude, spoiled nepo baby currently in a secret competition with his children to see who can ruin this gala first: “…uh huh.”
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Ok smart guy, let's see YOU take a crack at it.
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things in DC canon i’ll literally never get over
1. dick finds out batman replaced him as robin (without asking him) from the NEWSPAPER and simultaneously finds out bruce adopted a new kid without telling him (to make things worse: bruce didn’t even adopt dick)
2. dick finds out jason died from the newspaper (AGAIN? REALLY BRUCE?) and bruce had the fucking funeral WITHOUT HIM while he was still in space
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dick, tied up and concussed: do you think giraffes know how to love
jason, also tied up and tired: when was the last time you had a psych eval
dick: just last week actually
jason: …did you pass?
dick: idk but they put foam cubes on my hands so probably not
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Hey hey. Hey look behind you
OG post
LIFE IT NEVER DIE
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