#did i gif this scene without having actually watched the movie? yes i did
Text
And I’ve Been Meaning To Tell You
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader
Synopsis: you overhear Peter denying that he likes you so you go out with another guy, leaving him to crash your date and tell you how he feels
Masterlist
“At what point does the staring because you’re pining for your friend become staring because you’re a stalker and planing on wearing her hair as a wig?” Ned asked after following Peter’s gaze and seeing he was once again staring at you from across the cafeteria.
“I don’t know. I think when I start wearing baseball caps and standing outside her window with binoculars.” Peter sighed happily and rested his chin in his hand as he continued to stare.
“But, it’s not gonna get to that point though, right?” Ned laughed nervously.
“I don’t know.” Peter shrugged. “She lives on a pretty high floor.”
“That’s not the answer I wanted.” Ned said quietly.
“I had a dream last night that I asked her out and she said “I’ll see you at 8” without ever telling me where we were meeting just like in the movies.” Peter said proudly.
“You should not be proud of that. Why don’t you just ask her out with your out loud words for once?” Ned asked him.
“Because the dynamic of our friendship will be-“
“-forever altered past the point of repair and things will eventually return to normal but never feel the same.” Ned groaned as ge finished Peter’s sentence. “Yes, I know. Thats always your excuse. But I really don’t think she’ll say no.”
“You don’t know that.” Peter insisted. “I can’t risk it.”
“Peter, it’s so obvious you guys like each other. She always laughs at your jokes and nobody, and I mean nobody, finds you funny. And I know you like her back because you stare at her all the time and got goosebumps that one time her ponytail hit you in the face.”
“It smelled like freedom and prosperity.” Peter whispered.
“So ask her out and smell her ponytail all the time.” Ned whispered back.
“I just can’t, okay? And I don’t even like her like that. So stop bringing it up.” Peter said and looked over at you again. He watched you leave a group of friends and walk over to him and Ned.
“But you guys obviously want to be together so why don’t you just be together?” Ned asked him.
“Because I don’t like her and she doesn’t like me, okay? That’s that.” Peter whispered harshly just as you sat down at their table.
“Hey guys. I’m pretty sure I just got a veinte out of one hundred on my Spanish quiz so.” You sighed and dropped your backpack on the table.
“Hi.” Peter’s blushed and smiled at you. Your bad mood quickly eviscerated and you smiled back.
“Hi Peter.”
“If you want, I can help you study for your next Spanish quiz. I took it last semester and did fairly bien.” Peter offered.
“Really?” You lit up. “Thanks, Pete. That would be so bien of you.”
“No problemo.” Peter said back.
“This feels…racist.” Ned mumbled as he watched the interaction.
“I, uh, I watched that movie you were talking about the other day.“ You told Peter with a nervous smile.
“You watched Alien? Did you like it?” Peter asked excitedly.
“I did but it made me kinda paranoid about, you know, aliens. But I liked the part when the alien came out of the guys chest. I never realized that scene was from that movie. I felt like I was finally in on the film bros inside jokes.”
“Yeah. I like that part too. I also like the part when he swam up the filters motor and stuck that pebble in there so the tank would get dirty and have to be cleaned, giving all the other fish a chance to escape.” Peter replied. It took you a minute to get it but when you did, you burst out laughing. Peter blushed at how hard you were laughing at his joke while Ned watched the interaction in disgust.
“That was not funny.” Ned shook his head. “Not even a little bit. It was a little criminal actually.”
“What? Yes it was. Peters always funny.” You insisted.
“Isn’t he though?” Ned faked a smile before rolling his eyes.
“Hey, back off. I liked the joke.” You defended Peter, making his blush deepen.
“Thank you. I like your jokes too.” Peter told you.
“Ugh.” Ned groaned. “This is revolting to watch. Why don’t you guys just get married already?”
“That’s not a bad idea.” You said. “We’d get a tax break, right? Whatever that means.”
“It’s when they break your taxes in half.” Peter answered.
“Oh, is that it?” You laughed. “Sounds about right.”
“I know because I took that accounting class freshman year. You weren’t in that class so you wouldn’t know.” He teased you.
“Hm. Is that the class they cancelled because not enough people signed up?” You teased back.
“Yep. That one.” He nodded. “Wow. The memory on you. You’d be an excellent gatherer if this was Hunter gatherer times.”
“Aw, Peter. That’s the nicest thing a guys ever said to me.” You smiled and touched your heart.
“If you liked that compliment I have like eight more in the chamber ready to go.” Peter told you.
“Oh my God. Just make out already. But not in front of my clementine.” Ned grumbled and peeled his clementine. You and Peter fell silent at his exclamation. Peter’s face burned with embarrassment while you avoided eye contact with either of them.
“I’m gonna go refill my water bottle. I’ll be right back.” You smiled awkwardly and quickly left the table.
“Nice job, Ned.” Peter hugged. “You just made her so uncomfortable she went to fill up a full water bottle.”
“I told you, dude. She obviously likes you. I was just pointing out the obvious.” Ned defended himself.
“She doesn’t like me.” Peter insisted.
“Are you kidding me? You just made a Finding Nemo joke and she actually laughed. Not even fake laugh. That was a genuine belly laugh at the worst joke I have ever had the misfortune of hearing. She’s down horrendous for you.”
“No, she’s not. She just sees me as a friend. And I don’t even like her like that so it doesn’t matter.” Peter lied in an effort to change the subject.
“You can’t hide the truth from your best friend. I see right through your lies. You like her. I know it and you know it. Why can’t she know it?” Ned asked.
“I told you to stop bringing it up.” Peter grumbled, growing frustrated now. It wasn’t uncommon for Ned to bring this up but it was happening more than usual lately and all it did was remind Peter that you’d never be together.
“But-“
“I don’t like her, okay? I never did. I don’t think she’s pretty, I don’t find her funny, and I don’t want to be her boyfriend. I don’t know why you don’t believe me. I swear, I do not like her like that. I never have, and I never will. Okay?” Peter snapped. Little did he know, you had come back to the table and heard his whole outburst. You blinked a few times as your stomach sank but put on a brave face and sat down.
“I’m back.” You forced a smiled but didn’t meet Peter’s eyes. Peter’s eyes widened when you sat down and he looked at Ned.
“How much of that did you hear?” Peter asked you.
“How much of what?” You played dumb. You had to pretend you weren’t crushed that the boy you’d been pining after for years just very aggressively confirmed he didn’t like you.
“Nothing.” Peter lied and exchanged another look with Ned. Ned shrugged before changing the subject to move away from the moment entirely. You pretended to listen as you tried your best not to look as disappointed as you felt.
Once your break was over, you left the cafeteria and went for a walk around campus to clear your head. You ended up on a bench and sat down before taking a big sigh. You hadn’t noticed the guy that was sitting on the other end of the bench, but he certainly noticed you.
“Hey.” He said. You looked around for who he was talking to but found no one.
“Me, hey?” You asked and pointed to yourself.
“Yeah. You, hey.” He smiled and nodded his head.
“Oh. Hey.” You smiled back.
“I’m Drew.” He said.
“Y/n.” You said back.
“What’s the matter, Y/n? You look forlorn.”
“Oh, it’s stupid.” You waved your hand.
“Not to me. Tell me about it.” He insisted and scooted closer to you. You looked down at the lessened space between the two of you and laughed shyly.
“It’s nothing. I just overheard my friends talking about me.” You told him.
“Oh shit. Was it bad?”
“Not necessarily. But it didn’t make me feel good.”
“Damn. That sucks.” Drew said. You nodded in agreement and an awkward silence fell between you.
“I like that shirt.” He said suddenly and nodded towards your shirt.
“Oh, thanks. I borrowed it from a girl I didn’t even talk to anymore.” You replied as you pulled on the shirt.
“Finders keepers.” He shrugged. “You should wear it when I take you out.”
“Why would I wear a shirt you’ve already seen when we go out?” You laughed.
“So we’re going out?” Drew smiled.
“I guess we are.” You shrugged and realized you had just agreed to a date.
“Cool. I’ll pick you up Friday.” Drew winked at you before getting off the bench. You smiled at the unexpected interaction before realizing you had not gotten a single detail.
“Wait, pick me up where?” You called after him, but he was already gone. You slumped back in your seat on the bench and felt an equal mix of confusion and excitement. Maybe this new guy was exactly what you needed to forget about Peter.
The next day, you sat with Peter and Ned at your usual spot in the lunch room but barely paid attention to their conversation. Drew had found you on Instagram and you’d been talking to him all day. Peter had noticed your thumbs flying around your keyboard and the smile on your face and felt curious and ever so slightly jealous about who was making you smile like that.
“Is that good with you Y/n?” Ned asked you.
“Sorry, what?” You asked and put your phone down.
“We were saying we were gonna get chicken wings and watch the Trixi Mattel documentary.” Peter informed you.
“Again? And I can’t Friday.” You told them.
“Why not?” Peter asked.
“I have a date.”
Ned and Peter exchanged a looked before started to speak at the same time. They both stumbled over their words and spoke over each other as they gave you all their thoughts and opinions on why you should not go on this date. You tried to cut in but Ned kept listing Criminal Minds plot lines where women were murdered while Peter asked question after question about the guy.
“Slow down. One at a time.” You shouted over them and they both went silent. You pointed to Ned to signal that it was his turn to talk.
“You have a date? With a human boy?” Ned asked in disgust.
“Yeah. Is that surprising?” You asked, sounding a little hurt that they were so shocked.
“No.” Peter replied and looked at Ned to signal for him to say the same so that you wouldn’t be offended.
“Yes.” Ned said immediately. “Who the hell is this guy?”
“Ned.” Peter said warningly.
“His name is Drew.” You shrugged.
“Drew? What’s his brothers name, draw? Stupid fucking past tense ass bullshit name.” Ned grumbled.
“Jesus Ned.” You laughed. “It’s a normal name. It’s short for Andrew.”
“Andrew?” Peter scoffed. “What is he, an apostle?”
“I don’t think there was an apostle named. Andrew.” You stated. “I think they were all named Mark. And like, John or something.”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t there.” Peter waved his hand. “Why are you going on a date with this potential psychopath?”
“Because asked me on a date.” You said simply.
“And you said yes? When we don’t even know this guy. What if he’s into hardcore drugs and wants to use you as a drug mule for his next big drug operation?“
“He seemed fine.” You shrugged.
“So you’re gonna risk your life going on a date with this lunatic because he “seemed” fine? What if he’s a cannibal?” Ned asked.
“I don’t think he’s a cannibal. He was just sitting on a bench on his phone.”
“Oh my God. He sounds completely insane. Check the sex offender registry for his name right now.” Ned instructed Peter. Peter started typing his name into his laptop so you shut Peter’s laptop with a roll of your eyes.
“Why are you guys being insane? I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“I’m about to end my life over this.” Peter mumbled.
“Me too.” Ned added. “What even spurred this reckless decision?”
“I don’t know. A guy hasn’t shown interest in me in a while. This guy did so I took a chance. Is it really that crazy?”
“Yes.” Ned said immediately. “You’re ludicrous for this. You are absolutely Pitbull featuring Ludacris for this. Saying yes to a date with a stranger. This girl has lost her damn mind.”
“How else do you meet people?” You asked them.
“You don’t.” Peter said a sarcastic laugh. you threw your hands up in exasperation and Peter and Ned exchanged a look.
“What he means is, you should try asking a friend out. That way, you already know them and know you won’t get diced and quartered into a bunch of little pieces.” Ned said kindly.
“Why would he dice me and quarter me? Wouldn’t one or the either be enough?” You asked.
“Probably not for this lunatic.” Ned laughed like it was ridiculous to suggest.
“I think you guys are over reacting. What if he’s just a nice guy wants to take me on a date?”
“No guy wants that.” Ned groaned.
“Wow. Thanks Ned.” You said sarcastically.
“What I meant was, Peter has something to say.” Ned said and pointed to Peter. Peter turned bright red and gave Ned an angry look.
“You do?” You asked Peter.
“No?” Peter replied.
“Right.” You smiled tightly and looked away from him, making Peter know he blew it.
“Where is the date?” Ned asked.
“I don’t know. Some frat house. He said his friend is having a party and he wants to take me.”
“A party? At a frat house? With underage drinking? Oh great. So this guy is a law breaker. He probably has an extensive criminal record already. And I bet it’s for the drug mule thing.” Ned insisted.
“We’re all 21. You literally turned 22 last week.” You reminded him.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant to this conversation.” Ned brushed you off.
“What kind of first date is a party anyway? A girl like you deserves to be taken on a nice, well thought out date that doesn’t involve getting drunk around strangers. If I was the one taking you on a date, I’d make a picnic of your favorite snacks and we’d eat it on the rooftop of my apartment while the sun sets.” Peter stated.
“But you’re not the one taking me on a date. He is. He likes me, you don’t.” You said sharply, making everyone fall silent. You hadn’t meant to snap at Peter like that but it bothered you that he was aggressively putting down your date after rejecting you.
“What? Am I wrong?” You asked the table.
“Peter.” Ned whispered but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. You looked at Peter again but he just couldn’t do it.
“No. You’re not wrong.” He said quietly. You nodded your head like you expected that before getting up from the table.
“I just wanted my friends to tell me they were happy for me. Instead, we just had one of the weirdest and least encouraging conversations I’ve ever been an apart of. I’ll see you guys later.” You grumbled and walked away.
“That went well.” Ned said once you were gone.
“She definitely overheard me. I totally hurt her feelings and drove her right into the arms of that cannibal drug mule. Why did I say those things?” Peter asked and rubbed his face in frustration.
“I don’t know man. I would have stopped at “I don’t like her” but you really went off.” Ned agreed.
“Because you were annoying me with how much you were asking.” Peter whined. “Oh God. What am I gonna do now? Shes gonna go to that party and fall in love with draw and forget all about me.”
“I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna find draw’s party and crash it. And you’re gonna woman up and tell her how you feel.”
“How are we gonna find his party? We’re not exactly good at attending parties.”
“I have my sources.” Ned smiled deviously.
“You’re just track her location on snap maps, aren’t you?” Peter sighed.
“Yeah, I’m just gonna track her on snap maps.” Ned admitted.
When Friday came around, Peter and Ned were glued to their phones as the tried to find out where you were. Luckily for them, you had been posting a plethora of pictures of the party to your Snapchat so they easily found where you were. Unlucky for Peter, Drew was featured in all of the pictures and you looked like you were having the time of your life. Peter swallowed down his jealousy and got dressed to go to the party. He rehearsed his speech for you in his head as he made his way through the crowd. He finally found you in the kitchen in the arms of a girl he didn’t recognize. Your eyes lit up when you saw him and you tried to go towards him but immediately tripped over your over feet.
“Peter!” You cheered and threw your arms around him. The girl who had been holding you let go of your waist while Peter looked at her in confusion. You stumbled into Peter and had a hard time keeping yourself up straight
“You know her?” The girl asked Peter.
“Yeah. She’s my best friend. What’s going on? Who are you? And where’s draw?”
“I’m Serita. I found her all by herself. She seemed pretty upset.”
“Well if it isn’t Peter Peter pumpkin eater. He actually doesn’t even like pumpkin flavored things. He doesn’t like me either. He made that very clear.” You laughed and clapped Serita on the back. Serita looked at Peter in amusement but he was too focused on how drunk you were.
“Are you drunk?” Peter asked in shock.
“What? No.” You scoffed and nearly fell over.
“She’s wasted.” Serita told him. “I got her to drink some water by telling her it was a big shot of vodka.”
“I’m just here to feel the heat with somebody.” You said and held your hands up in defense.
“I’ve never seen you drink this much. What happened?” Peter asked you.
“Psh. I’m not as think as you drunk I am.” You denied the obvious with a wave of your hand. The action caused you to stumble again and you had to grip Peter’s shirt to keep from going down.
“You can’t even stand up straight. Where’s draw?” Peter asked again and looked around the room for your date.
“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I’m pretty sure he left with that pretty red headed girl from our statistics class sophmore year. With that teacher who had that cat with a silly name. Remember him? What was the cats name?”
“Kitty puss.” Peter reluctantly admitted.
“Kitty puss!” You cheered again and nearly dropped to the floor.
“I got you.” Peter said and tightened his grip on you. “But if he’s on on a date with you then why did he leave with another girl?”
“Because he didn’t get what he wanted from this girl?” You shrugged with a sad smile. Peter’s eyes darkened and he looked at Serita with a clenched jaw.
“What did he want?” He asked her.
“To get her drunk enough to lower her standards.” Serita stated. “That’s what he does to all the undergrad girls on this campus. Or at least, he tries to. Girls his age know better and stay away from him. But unfortunately for your best friend here, she didn’t know about his reputation.”
“Sterling Knight should have had a bigger career after Starstruck. He was funny and could sing. I never found him all that handsome but he had star power. He deserved more from Disney and I’ll die on that hill.” You interrupted their conversation to say.
“That’s nice, sweetie.” Peter smiled kindly at you before looking at Serita again. “I’m gonna take her to the bathroom and try to sober her up. Thanks for taking care of her. I’m glad she had a friend here.”
“Oh, I don’t know this girl. I just noticed she needed someone and stayed with her.” Serita explained. Peter raised his eyebrows in surprise before giving her a grateful smile.
“Oh. Well thanks for noticing. I got it from here.” He said before picking you up bridal style. You laughed gleefully and wrapped your arms around his neck, making Peter turn red again. Serita noticed this and stopped him.
“Hold on. How do I know I can trust you with her?” Serita asked. “What if you don’t even know her and you’re just trying to do what Drew was trying to do?”
“I promise I know her. Look. She’s my lock screen.” Peter said and showed Serita his lock screen which was a photo of the two of you.
“Best friend, huh?” Serita smirked.
“Please.” Peter whined. “I can’t hear it from you too. I’m an idiot and I know that. That’s the whole reason I’m here.”
“Well good luck. She’s been talking about “my Peter” all night.” Serita patted his back before walking away. Peter smiled at that before carrying you to the bathroom.
“Is this how Lady Gaga felt at the 2011 Grammys when they carried her in in that giant egg?” You asked as you rested your head on Peter’s shoulder.
“We will never know how Lady Gaga felt while being carried in a giant egg at the 2011 Grammys. You’re just being carried by your idiot friend to a disgusting frat bathroom that probably has salmonella and syphilis all over it.”
“Romantic.” You chuckled and held Peter tighter. He shut the bathroom door behind the two of you before gently putting you down on the countertop. He started rummaging through the medicine cabinet while you swung your legs.
“My tummy hurts.” You whined.
“I know. Take this.” Peter instructed and handed you Tylenol.
“Magic beans?”
“Tylenol. Drink this.” He chuckled and handed you back the cup of water from Serita. You chugged the water with the pills and wiped your mouth before giving Peter a sad smile.
“How do you feel? Do you need to puke?”
“No.” You shook your head. That action made you nauseous and you hopped off the counter to throw up into the toilet.
“I had a feeling that was gonna happen.” Peter mumbled.
“Don’t tell Kitty Puss about what a wreck I am.” You pleaded and threw up again.
“I won’t.” Peter laughed and held your hair back.
“I’m gonna die.” You whined and slumped against the bathtub. Peter sat down beside you and got the hair out of your face.
“You’re not gonna die.” He assured you. “You’re just gonna have really bad breath and carpet burn on your knees.”
“I hate carpet burn.” You said and started to cry. Peter had a feeling the tears weren’t just from the carpet burn so he wrapped his arms around you.
“It’s okay. Let it all out.” He said softly as he rubbed his hand on your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder for a minute before pulling away. He grabbed a tissue from the counter and wiped your tears for you.
“I’m sorry.” You said quietly as you stared down at your lap.
“What are you sorry for?”
“For going on this date.”
“No. I don’t want to hear that. You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Peter shook his head as he continued to dry your eyes. You pushed your hand away and held it so he would look at you.
“I do. I only went because I was mad at you. And I posted all those things because I wanted you to think I was having fun with another guy. But I wasn’t having fun. I was thinking about you the entire night.”
“Well you fooled me.” Peter chucked. “I thought you were halfway in love with this guy already. But why were you mad at me?”
“I heard you the other day. I heard you tell Ned you didn’t like me.” You admitted and gave him a sad smile.
“Oh, that’s not-“
“And it’s fine.” You cut him off. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you over that. It’s not your fault you don’t like me. We can’t help what we don’t feel.”
Peter stared into your eyes and saw a sadness he’d never seen you show before. You had sobered up a little but still weren’t completely there. He wanted to tell you how he felt, but he wanted you to be sober enough to remember it.
“So what happened to your date?” He changed the subject. You gave Peter a sad smile and shrugged your shoulders.
“He wasn’t much of a gentleman.” You admitted. Peters jaw clenched but he tried to remain calm for you same.
“Why do you say that?”
“I kept trying to talk to him and get to know him but all he wanted to do was get drunk. So I kept drinking whatever he handed me because I thought that would make me a more “fun” date.” You told him. You looked down at your dress and nervously fiddled with the hem of it. Peter stayed silent as he watched your eyes fill up with tears.
“I got all dressed up. I did my hair and my makeup. I tried to look pretty for him.” You said sadly. “But he didn’t even compliment me when he saw me. And he didn’t laugh at any of my jokes. I kept feeling like I was annoying him any time I asked him a question. But I was just trying to get to know him.“
“Well he’s crazy for not complimenting you. Because you look very pretty tonight.”
“Oh, please. My makeup’s running down my face and I probably have puke on my dress.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’re still the prettiest girl in this room.” Peter told you.
“I’m the only girl in this room.” You reminded him and pointed to the bathroom wall.
“Doesn’t matter. You’re the prettiest girl in any room you’re in.” Peter stated. That brought a smile out of you and you slipped your hand into his.
“You’re sweet.” You smiled in appreciation and gave his hand a squeeze. Peter squeezed you back before getting the hair off your forehead. You leaned into his hand and looked into his eyes.
“What happened tonight?“ He asked quietly.
“Well, once I was drunk enough for Drew’s liking, he asked me to go up to one of the bedrooms with him. I went because I thought it was because he wanted a more private place to talk. I thought he wanted to hear what I had to say. Imagine that? Imagine your date being interesting in something you had to say? But he didn’t care about that. He didn’t want to talk.” You laughed sadly before looking down at the floor with a heavy sadness.
“What did he want?” Peter asked and braced himself. You looked up and met Peter’s eyes with a sad smile.
“You know what he wanted.” You said softly. Peter gulped and nodded his head so you wouldn’t have to relive it. You let out a sigh and wiped your tears on the back of your hand.
“He didn’t even kiss me.” You laughed sadly. “He just shut the door and tried to unzip my dress. I pushed him away and yelled at him, and then he got upset that I was upset so he left me in there. I was too drunk to go after him so I just sat there for a while in the dark. By the time I came back down to the party, he was already making out with another girl.”
“What’s this guys problem? He got to take the most incredible girl in this city on a date and he blows it in every way possible? He’d be lucky to talk to you, let alone go out on a date with you. How could he not see what a privilege he had just to be near you?” Peter said with genuine anger.
“Thanks, Pete.” You chuckled and felt slightly better about the night. Peter was about to go off more until he saw the look on your face. You didn’t need to hear Peter’s gripe right now. You needed comfort.
“Should we kill him?” Peter asked after a beat of silence.
“I think so. Serita told me he’s got a bit of a reputation for this kind of thing. I had no idea.”
“I can’t believe Ned was right and this guy really was insane.” Peter said, making you laugh.
“I know. I guess this means we should listen to him more.” You laughed. Peter smiled at you before scooping you up again and kicking the door open.
“Woah. Where are we going?” You asked as he carried you straight out of the party.
“On a real date.” He replied and you fell silent. He carried you all the way to his apartment building and swung up to the roof.
“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Peter said and he slipped out of his button down. He draped it over your shoulders to keep you warm before racing downstairs.
When he returned, he had a picnic blanket, his portable Death Star night light, a lunchables pizza, and two bottles of water. You smiled as he laid the picnic blanket down before patted the space beside him. You sat down and he wrapped a blanket from his bed around the both of you. You cracked open your water bottle and downed it while he put together the lunchables. He handed you one of the pizzas and you did cheers before silently eating them as the sun began to rise.
“Are you enjoying your meal, madam?” Peter looked away from the sunrise to ask you.
“Why, yes I am. This is one of the finer lunchables I’ve ever eaten. Compliments to the chef.” You played along.
“The chef thanks you kindly.” Peter replied and you both laughed.
A comfortable silence fell between the two of you for a minute as you watched the sky become pink. Peter looked over at you and felt his heart ache over the way the sun was lighting up your face with a warm glow. You were holding your blanket tightly around your body to shield yourself from the morning air and had your eyes shut to let the night wash away from you. Peter knew in that moment he was in love and it could not be unspoken any longer.
“So, uh, remember when we were in the bathroom before and you said we should listen to Ned more?” Peter began.
“That doesn’t sound like something I would say. But I guess so. Why?” You wondered and looked over at him. Peter looked you in the eyes and gulped.
“Ned was actually right about a second thing.”
“Two things? Is he going for a personal record?” You laughed. When you saw that Peter wasn’t laughing, you stopped smiling.
“What is it, Pete? Something bad?”
“No. Not bad. Just, um, just a little clarification, I guess.” Peter began.
“Clarification about what?”
“I know you heard me telling Ned that I didn’t like you. And I know that it hurt your feelings. Which I totally understand why it would. It was overkill. But what you overheard the was my frustrated attempt to get Ned to stop insisting that I liked you.”
“Oh. Okay.” You said slowly and never took your eyes off him. Peter stared into your eyes for the last time before everything changed.
“And the only reason he keeps insisting that is because it’s true. He was trying to get me to tell you how I felt and I snapped at him because I was scared that if I ever did tell you how I felt, you wouldn’t feel the same.” Peter finished. You stared at him for a long time but Peter couldn’t read your expression. You were definitely pensive but he didn’t know if you were upset with him or relieved to know the truth. You turned your face back towards the sunrise and stared out at it.
“Hm.” You hummed.
“Hm? That’s all you have to say?” Peter asked nervously.
“Sorry. I was just thinking about that part in the movie Alien when the two main characters get directions from that school of fish and all the fish take the shape of an arrow to show them which way to go.” You said very seriously. Peter shook his head before cracking up laughing.
“Wow. Ned must be on a roll because hearing my own joke repeated back to me makes me realize how unfunny it was.” He admitted, making you laughing.
“I still laughed.” You shrugged. “Even if it wasn’t funny.”
“You did.” He realized with a smile.
“Probably because I like you so much.” You shrugged again and stopped looking at the sunrise to look at him. Peters smile grew and he reached over to hand your hand in his. All that pining and anticipation had led to that moment of you finally admitted how you felt about each other.
“Yeah.” He smiled. “Thats probably why.”
Tag list 🏷️
@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling
@tom-hollands-wifey
@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings
@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101
@peterparkoure
@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr
@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland
@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave
@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant
@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger
@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie
@maybemona
@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom
@pandaxnienke
@officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours
@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85
@olixerwxxd @leilanixx
@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940
@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing
@mathletemadison
@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr
@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu
@ciarahollands
@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy
#peter parker x reader#peter parker fanfiction#peter parker imagine#peter parker fluff#peter parker friends to lovers#peter parker x you#peter parker x y/n#Peter Parker best friends to lovers#peter parker x best friend!reader
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Random BL Superlatives: 2023 Edition
It's the end of the year and I'm feeling the need to give out some awards! We talk a lot about best show, best actors, best writing, best directing, blah blah but I gotta be honest, these are the categories that really spoke to me this year. In no particular order:
Best supporting garment: Porsche’s sweater, A Boss and A Babe
Did I create this entire list just to have an excuse to post about this sweater one more time? Maybe so.
Best performance despite a terrible wig: Daou, Love in Translation
This man managed to perform one of the hottest scenes of the year with that bowl cut monstrosity on his head. Respect must be paid.
Best new terminology: BGP, Bump Up Business
BUB gave us so many gifts, but I will always be most thankful for the business gay performance concept (BGP), a term that is highly relevant in discussions of the bl industry.
Best advice: "Unfuck it," Tien in La Pluie
It's not only the succinct phrasing, but also the delivery method.
Best ex who deserved better: Alan, Moonlight Chicken
Yes, I will be staying on the Alan apologist beat in 2024, thank you for asking.
Best unexpected needle drop: Wetter, The Eighth Sense
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The moment this show captured my full attention.
Best WTF ending: The End of the World With You
You can probably still hear my scream of "WHAT" echoing in the hills. (Actual ending not pictured in case y'all decide to watch).
Best gut punch line: "Have you been well? Without me?", Our Dating Sim
Sure Shin Gi Tae, Lee Wan deserved it, but did I??
Best adorable child: Tane, Our Dining Table
Need I say more??
Best weapon: sparkle murder dust, Khun Chai
Truly the MVP of this show. I can't find an actual gif of the dust in action (too violent to be depicted) so enjoy these pretty men instead.
Best great character trapped in a bad show: Boston, Only Friends
My beloved, I will seek vengeance in your name.
Best use of music to fuck me up: Plumeria, I Feel You Linger in the Air
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Cocktail and Tee Bundit, you know what you did!
Best meal: Chicken curry and cheese naan, What Did You Eat Yesterday?
Yes, this category is kind of a cheat so I can mention WDYEY on this list. And what about it!
Best unhinged energy: Nawin, Laws of Attraction
He may not have succeeded at stealing back his man but he certainly stole the show.
Best bl horror: Grand Guignol
I just need to make sure all you jbl fans know that this movie exists and that Issei fucked Mr Unlucky!!! IYKYK.
Best character comeback: Phupha, Our Skyy 2
From boring stoic love interest to actually compelling and kinda funny leading man! See what a little flirting with Pat Jindapat can do for you?!
#best of bl 2023#moonlight chicken#the eighth sense#a boss and a babe#la pluie#bump up business#our dating sim#laws of attraction#khun chai#i feel you linger in the air#only friends the series#the end of the world with you#love in translation#our dining table#what did you eat yesterday?#grand guignol#our skyy 2#bl superlatives 2023#shan shouts into the void
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Tumblr has discovered The Sandman...
Tumblr has discovered Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman. Here are some of the examples of proof of that discovery. The good and the not-so-good.
1. The Corinthian (A nightmare entity) has been referred to as a “Blorbo.” Based on my understanding of the meaning of the word I am pretty certain The Corinthian probably should not be your Blorbo. But then again you might be into that sort of thing. I’ve seen some strange things in the Horror movie slasher fandoms. Just know that if he was real it would probably not be safe to think of him as your Blorbo.
2. The Corinthian has been called Cori and Cory respectively. And so it begins...
3. Morpheus has been referred to as a poor little “Meow Meow” and not while in his cat form. And yes, I know he fits the criteria for the term. It’s just this was the first time I’ve seen him called it without it being literally related to his cat form. You have truly made it in the world of Tumblr when they start calling your character a Blorbo or Poor LIttle Meow Meow. Whatever happened to Woobie? I would think Morpheus would fit under “Woobie.”
4. I have seen Tom Sturridge (Morpheus’s Netflix actor) referred to as a DILF. (Dad I’d like to ...have fun with). As the term is usually reserved for older men, and I, myself, am forty, and Tom Sturridge is a few years younger than I am, this term usage came as a surprise to me. It turns out some fans are using the term quite literally as Tom Sturridge literally is a father. I was used to the term being used specifically in regard to age.
5. Morpheus has been compared to a Disney Princess.
6. A scene from the source material has been taken out of context to make the character look more like an asshole than he actually is even though there are plenty of real asshole moments as the character is on a long redemption arc.
The scene in question is when Matthew the Raven says “Penny for your thoughts.” And Morpheus responds with “You have no pennies, Matthew.” Later Morpheus offers Matthew a literal penny in exchange for him voicing his thoughts. Morpheus being too literal is what is happening here. Context matters.
7. There are people trying to bluff having read The Sandman without having actually read The Sandman to try to gain clout in the fandom. It’s okay to have not read it yet, guys. It’s a great read. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Go have fun. I promise it’s not as difficult as some people make it out to be.
Someone genuinely tried to argue with me that the “White haired version of Morpheus” was not created by Neil Gaiman and was created long after he was done writing The Sandman. If you have read The Sandman you would understand how wrong this is.
Don’t try to bluff having read The Sandman if you have not. We can tell. We can always tell.
8. There are gatekeepers trying to intimidate new readers into thinking there’s nothing whimsical in The Sandman and that it’s “So deep” and “you won’t get it the first time you read it. You have to read it a few times to understand it.”
Yes, there is darkness in The Sandman. It’s part dark fantasy / part Gothic Horror with moments of gore but there are light things too. Don’t discourage new readers. I promise the story isn’t as hard to get into as some people make it out to be. I know terms like “Classic” can make some people chafe. Just give it a try. If you don’t like the first issue, try the second. If you don’t like the second, keep going until at least issue four. If you still don’t like it after issue 4, it’s okay to stop. No one will judge you. If you don’t like comic books, try the audio drama, it’s divided into chapters like a novel. Each issue being a chapter. If you don’t like it after chapter four, that’s okay. You’ll know if you like it or not by then.
9. There is already fan art of Tom Sturridge as Morpheus in funny / ridiculous scenarios. No picture is given here as I did not get permission from the artists to share them yet.
10. There are already people complaining about the casting without having watched the show yet. One faction claiming the casting is “too woke” while another faction seemed concerned that it’s not inclusive enough even though Desire is nonbinary and pansexual, Death is a black woman, Rose and Unity are black women, Ruthven Sykes is a black man, Lucienne is a black woman who wears spectacles, Lucifer (who has no set gender or even sexual reproductive organs) is being played by a woman, Alexander Burgess is gay, The Corinthian is gay, Johanna Constantine is bisexual, Cain and Abel are South Asian...
There even seem to be politically charged rants complaining because the English language show, with an English cast, written by an English writer, has a lead actor with an English accent...
So what do I have to say about Tumblr discovering The Sandman?
Well..
Welcome to the Sandom!
You’re in for quite a ride. And don’t put your fingers too close to The Corinthian’s face. Just... Don’t.
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I watched Ridley Scott's NAPOLEON yesterday and it was a complete Waterloo.
Yes, I am a big history nerd with a giant heart for movie adaptation of historical topics. But when I watched NAPOLEON I sat there... and tried not to laugh. It was not only so historical inaccurate, that I wanted to cry, at the same time it was filled with cringe dialogues, red flags and terrible color grading. This whole movie made me so sad yet so angry, that I HAVE to write this review:
(Disclaimer: This review is based on my own opinion. If you enjoyed the movie, it's completely fine. Btw. in that case or if you agree with me, feel free to tell me your opinion. I would love to know!)
First of all: Don't get me wrong, the medium film has its own rules and you can't put as much historical accuracy into a big scale movie as you would into a documentary - sometimes the story needs to be altered to be a good movie. And that is fine. Even if Gladiator is a complete fictional story set in the Roman Empire, I can still enjoy this movie for what it is: A good-written story with great characters, a beautiful score and iconic scenes. With Kingdom of Heaven it's kind of the same - and while the movie cut was very inconsistent, I still kind of liked it. But then the Directors Cut made it a a masterpiece for me.
Funny enough, both of these movies are made by the same person: Ridley Scott. So naturally I thought: Well, Napoleon won't be a historical accurate film, but I surely will enjoy it anyways. Well, ...no. It is not only historical incorrect, it's also a bad movie overall.
To start it short: NAPOLEON clearly lost itself in all the various topics it wanted to tell within a runtime of two and a half hours. It made the whole storytelling very weird and inconsistent, causing the problem, that the audience even loses itself in the questions of when and where. Where is that scene located? When did that happen? And then comes the question: Why is this even happening?
Ridley Scott wants to depict Napoleon as a lover, a military genius, a big political figure, a revolutionary and more. But in the end he tells all of this in the most shallow way possible, which waters down Napoleons personality traits and achievements to a series of small scenes. You never get a glimpse of the "true" Napoleon, who was described as a highly intelligent and charismatic man. In fact, you never really feel ANYTHING about him except that he was a cringe red flag in front of his wife. He just stands there, stares and has very limited dialogue scenes to get a picture of that man. What are his overall motivations? Only Josephine? If so, why is this motivation only vaguely explored?
The whole love story between him and Josephine feels so unnatural and got to the brink of being disgusting. This is particularly sad because I deeply respect Vanessa Kirby and Joaquin Phoenix, they're both stunning actors. I don't know if they just couldn't fit the role or if it was rather a problem of the script (the last one is my guess). Yet whenever I saw Josephine and Napoleon on screen, I felt like acted very stiff and forced. Napoleon seemed more obsessed with her than actual love and that can be a character trait, but there wasn't a chance to explore that deeper. Before the movie entered the cinema, the lovestory between these two was marketed as intense, obsessive, deeper than you could imagine. What the audience got was a few scenes without real conversation, much staring and a bunch of cringeworthy s-scenes. And seriously, these "sexy" scene were the worst. I was so disgusted by them because they were SO DAMN WEIRD. There are no scenes that undermine ANY deep love between Josephine and Napoleon. It felt therefore so off, when they still longed for each other after their divorce.
And let's not start to ramble about the fact that they depicted Josephine ONLY in a somehow sexual way. Yeah, there is that scene where she says to Napoleon, that he is nothing without her. BUT SHOW, DON´T TELL! You never see her doing something instead of sitting there, talking with others or when the plot needs her to have sexy time with someone (not only Napoleon). As a woman myself this makes me so freaking furious, you have no idea. I don't need a marvel-coded super-strong woman with unlimited talents - I just need a female character that is written GOOD and plausible! Make me CARE for her plot and for the plot of Napoleon! Both of them don't even feel like normal human beings because they're like blank pieces of paper with their names written on it!
And don´t make me start to talk about the historical inaccuracies. At first I didn't want to draw that card. Actually, I don't need a historical movie to present 100% facts. If the movie is still enjoyable, it's okey. But even if many people say that the war scenes were awesome, I can only partly agree. Yeah, we have that cool ice-lake Austerlitz battle, but it took me a couple of minutes and a better look on the uniforms to know that Napoleon is now at war with Austria! You get nearly ZERO context to Napoleons battles. Yeah, nice, the scenes look cool - but there is nothing more to it? Is that all you need to show for the audience to care? For me at least, I just didn't care at all and I was very happy when I got out of the cinema. Overall this movie is full of messy non-sense choices that don't contribute to the story. Many moments just confused me and it left me with the question why Scott couldn't simply hire some historians to put together a consistent story. Everyone who read about Napoleons life knows that there are so much cinema worthy moments in his career that would've been so much better than what we now got.
I could ramble about that movie for hours if I´m honest, but I hope this little TED talk was enough to make my statement clear.
In the end, it just makes me sad. I wanted to like this movie, I wanted it to be good. For months I hyped myself up to this, read books about Napoleon, watched the trailer all over and over and talked with friends about how great this movie will be. Now I am just disappointed and frustrated. Oppenheimer was such a great biopic of a historical person that became a great success at the box office - even without great battle scenes. I hoped that Napoleon would push a cinema revolution, that shows people want big scaled films about historical personalities and history topics. But now I just want to forget this Napoleon movie to be honest.
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All right...for those of you who don't know my thoughts about Wish, yes, I wasn't happy with the finished result, but no, I'm not a hater. I'm mostly just disappointed that this project that had so many good ideas came out so half-baked, and THIS is a perfect example of what I mean.
No, it's not because "Star Boy" appears in it -- at least, not by itself. I do actually like Star's "himbo" personality in this, even if I also completely understand liking the idea of a mute version of the character. (The downside is that the mute Star from the finished film honestly doesn't have much personality outside of just being cute, in contrast to other mute magical Disney characters like Tinker Bell.)
No, the lost potential here is two-fold --
Firstly, I once again felt more emotion watching this storyboarded sequence than I did at any point in the finished film. I smiled hearing the fun banter between Star and Asha, insinuating that they're becoming closer despite their contrasting personalities; I felt some suspense in how Star and Asha were going to get away from evil!Queen Amaya; I even laughed pretty hard at the cat-and-yarn gag! I didn't laugh once while watching the finished movie.
Secondly -- and this point is actually the one I want to focus on more -- is the commentary given about why this scene was cut. I truly think another unspoken reason behind the decision was that this sequence was clearly inspired by the transforming chase scene in Nimona, which Disney of course infamously dropped when they closed Blue Sky Studios and later got picked up by Netflix, only to receive glowing reviews from just about everyone...but one of the core reasons that Head of Story Mark Kennedy cites for why they changed this scene (aside from wanting Star to be mute and not a shapeshifter like other Disney characters, which I'm a bit confused about because yeah, Disney's done cute, mute non-human characters before too -- what about Dopey, Pascal, Maximus, Dumbo, Bambi, Magic Carpet, Sven, and again Tinker Bell?) is that they wanted Asha to be the hero and be able to "solve all her problems" without Star's help.
Up to a point, I understand what Kennedy means -- the theme of the film is supposed to be that we all have the power inside of us to make a difference, and that's great. But by making it so that Asha doesn't need any help from Star, it takes something away from their relationship. No human is an island, and relationships, both in stories and real life, are often built on that fact. Just look at Ariel and Eric in the original Little Mermaid -- Ariel saves Eric from drowning and from Ursula zapping him with Triton's trident, and then Eric saves Ariel from Ursula by skewering her with the broken figurehead of a ship. Even in non-romantic examples, we have Judy and Nick having to help each other solve the case in Zootopia; Buzz and Woody helping each other get back to Andy in Toy Story; the Parr family and Frozone all fighting together against Syndrome's robot with their unique powers in The Incredibles; Jim Hawkins and Long John Silver working together to save themselves and everyone else at the end of Treasure Planet; even Anna helping Elsa learn how to control her magical abilities through an act of authentic, courageous, selfless love that only she can do in Frozen. These characters needing help and deep emotional connections with others is what creates a bond between them, helps the characters grow and change into stronger people, and makes us as an audience enjoy watching the two characters together. We become invested in both the two individual characters and the relationship forged between them. Because they all have their unique strengths and weaknesses, they supplement and complete each other. Even perfect paragon Superman in most DC properties isn't an island -- when he's in the Justice League, there are plenty of times where he needs help from Batman or other team members to save the day. Even Superman is a stronger character when he has people around him who can balance out his flaws.
If Asha never needs help, that runs the risk of the challenges she's facing seeming far less consequential, because no human can handle absolutely everything, all by themselves. Yes, perhaps in the finished film, Asha asks her friends to help her liberate the wishes (a task which ultimately fails, leaving Asha to confront Magnifico alone again and realize exactly what everyone has to do to defeat him on her own anyway)...but just in regards to Star and Asha's relationship -- which even the filmmakers have said is something like a "soulmate" relationship, though not in a romantic sense in the finished product -- these two can't have a meaningful connection if one of them is completely self-sufficient. This is also why quite a few Disney fans didn't like that the Little Mermaid remake changed Ursula's defeat to have it be Ariel who killed her, rather than Eric, because it hurt the "equal" dynamic between the main couple where they both helped and supported each other.
In short, "girl power" shouldn't have to mean never needing to rely on anyone else...and honestly, looking at this scene concept, we don't see Asha relying on Star too much! She's the brains of the outfit -- she's making plans; she's providing Star some much needed common sense; she's using Star's light as a distraction so they can get away...she even escapes Amaya at one point by sliding right under her horse! Asha in this storyboard is a bad-ass!
What we see in this sequence is these two characters having to help each other in order to succeed. And that would've been a great foundation on which to build more dramatic stakes and a relationship with actual pathos, whether romantic or not.
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My Favorite BL Dramas of 2023
happy new year to everyone who uses the gregorian calendar. we had so much good content come out this year. i'm gonna list my favs. please remember these are my personal faves and may be objectively terrible. do not be alarmed.
My Beautiful Man S2 and Movie
If you ask me this series is one of the best bls of all time. idc idc. im a hira and kiyoi girlie through and through. how many bl's do you know with 2 seasons and an original movie. not those repackaged ones that they try to hand feed us. an actual movie with a plot???? the bar is on the floor clearly. but hira and kiyoi are gonna surpass that bar every. single. time.
Love Tractor
I didn't hear enough people screaming about Love Tractor. crickets tbh. Which is blasphemous in my opinion. How could you be quiet when this lovely bumbling himbo with the dopiest grin is on your screen? look at him!!
Eighth Sense
10's across the board. No question. No notes.
this scene^ BROKE me
Our Dining Table
Ok hear me out. I didn't think this was the best bl in the world BUT it was so wholesome that it deserves a spot. top tier comfort show. It got me through many bad days. Admittedly, there were a few times I purposely put it on bc i knew it would put me to sleep. please don't jump me.
Unintentional Love Story
Now...I'm not a huge kbl person. However, this was really nice. Had a solid plot. I don't remember much abt it but I know there was pottery and I had a good time
Only Friends
This was culture. This was a movement. I will never forgive them for how they treated Boston. Even still, I was there every week ready for the chaos. I had the time of my life.
Bed Friend
It's hard to believe this came out this year. Like ??? But really that shows how much I've established this show as a classic in my mind. BED FRIEND? UEA? baddest bitch in the land?? KING? greenest flag out there???? (debatable but for the sake of my argument lets pretend). It had every element. good plot, great visuals, a little heat. like come on who else is doing it like them?
i just know if me and uea were ever in the same room he would judge me so much
Dangerous Romance
I've seen mixed reviews on this one but I had a fun time. Kanghan is a prissy little spoiled brat, but he's my prissy little spoiled brat. I loved their story progression. Which is saying a lot for me bc I don't like enemies to lovers. like why are we fighting? also "i'm an introvert" is the funniest shit i've heard all year.
La Pluie
this was so shockingly good i wish it got more attention. iqiyi in general really did their big one this year. when it rains you can only hear your soulmate? love!
Laws of Attraction
this was a rollercoaster. i started watching ironically because i thought it would be terrible when i saw the mc go super saiyan. that shit is still hilarious idc.
Love Syndrome III
Now before we start throwing tomatoes...let's hear me out. Nothing has caught my attention this year the way this series did. This was another series I was watching ironically until suddenly i wasn't. It's also just so funny that they released the third one without dropping a first or second. but bad bitches don't need to explain themselves. and YES love syndrome is a bad bitch. let's stop acting like we watch bl's solely for the quality. i don't need marvel cgi to have a good time. sometimes a dollar store wig and the most toxic couple you've ever seen is enough to make some shit shake. if this was released during the tharntype era??? oh bitches would've ate it up. HAPPILY. rant over.
Last Twilight
it's good man. what more can i say? i hope it doesn't disappoint me in the end.
Pit Babe
i'm very pleased. very much so. i know alot of folks went into this show expecting a little teehee. to laugh at the omegaverse racecar show. NOT ME. i've waited for this moment. and anyone who's seen me screaming in the tag can attest. this is a game changer. not just for bl but the fandom community at large. and don't even get me started on their chemistry. babe's smile whenever he's around charlie?? mama and papa?? MAMA AND FUCKING PAPA?? we deserve this and i will bask in it for as long as I can. jeff had better be pregnant by the end of the show.
^ that’s his charlie smile 🥲
#last twilight the series#last twilight#pit babe the series#pit babe#thai bl#ofts#only friends the series#my beautiful man#bl drama#laws of attraction#the eighth sense#la pluie#love syndrome#our dining table#love tractor#dangerous romance the series
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The dark abyss that is Andor
There were several things that led to Andor.
On the one hand, Disney screwed up its Star Wars intellectual property by handing it to complete hacks for Episode VII to IX, leading a potential cash cow to attract less and less viewers over the course of three increasingly bad installments. Seriously, The Last Jedi is one of the worst disappointments I've actually watched, and not only was I thinking "This can't get worse..." every five minutes only to be proven, "Yes, it can!!", it completely killed my appetite to see IX (and I would have left the cinema at that one's sheer stupidity). With VII, I saw it once with some initial excitement in a cinema when it released and a strange feeling afterwards, and I never revisited it. VIII I saw on two separate long-distance flights because I couldn't stomach the thing in one sitting. IX I didn't see at all, but devoured YouTube videos ripping it apart. Clearly, Disney had a Star Wars problem.
The other thing is the reboot that was The Mandalorian, especially season 1. The Mandalorian had a penchant for not very strong logic in its writing that you still accepted because you had so much damn fun and loved the characters. Given the fact that it clearly pulled lots of viewers into Disney+ that were loving its vibe that was true to the core of Star Wars, Disney management saw the fact that theaters and theme parks were closed due to COVID on the one hand and that big Star Wars movies were at risk of actually losing money on the other hand, and they did what executives are wont to do - they decided that if it worked once, it will work again and declared they will pump out TEN Star Wars series in the near future.
Meanwhile they cancelled also their ongoing series of "A Star Wars Story" movies that started with what could be called "Episode III.5" - Rogue One. Rogue One was plagued with production problems, so much so that seeming key scenes from the trailer weren't in the movie. "I rebel!", anyone?? Still, it turned out to be something new - a new kind of Star Wars story. It took the idea of a war movie (or its modern equivalent, Band of Brothers) and put it into the Star Wars cinematic universe. It did without an actual Jedi (kinda-sorta) and it showed a strong performance of Diego Luna as the morally gray Cassian Andor. And... (spoiler alert) ... it killed its whole cast in its finale.
I know people that say Rogue One is their favorite Star Wars movie. (But other people dislike it.) I hold it in high esteem. The way the resistance is portrayed also seemed to be somewhat subversive - both to its previous image on screen and to what is portrayable on screen for mainstream audiences in general. It became clear that unlike in the original three Star Wars movies resisting an empire is, on the ground, a dirty business and not just about big battles or commando raids. (Which then happen anyway. Because Star Wars.)
Then followed the lackluster Solo and the third installment Yoda was never made as Star Wars increasingly lost its ability to draw crowds into seats.
And thus it came to Andor
Now what do you do with a character that (spoiler alert? really?) dies. You make a bloody prequel. Which is funny. Andor is a prequel to Rogue One which is a prequel to A New Hope. Prequels, like sequels, carry the risk of rehashing the original material without adding anything to it (Solo ...) and being trapped by the inevitability of what has to happen next, curtailing its writing (Kenobi ...). But Andor season 1 betrays none of that. (Talk about being addicted to prequels, Disney...) It is a strong piece of cinematic art in its own right.
And yes, I'm saying art. About a Star Wars series. That's how I feel about it. Andor not only has strong execution, it has depth. It was a show that made me pause it and think about what just happened on screen. It's a show that gets deeper if you know about history, unlike most shows that actually reveal their shallowness to the knowing eye. (Looking at you, The Man in the High Castle. Boy, I hated that tripe.)
But even before we get into that, let me say how I impressed I was with its set and costume design. Whereas the Book of Boba Fett gave us cyberpunks on floating scooters, Andor poured a lot of heart into how everybody looked in their various environments, creating a more rich and varied Star Wars society by portraying various strata thereof, from the life of imperial senator Mon Mothma to the middle class living literally in her shade somewhere on the middle levels of planet-city Coruscant to the mining town labor class that we find Cassian in. It flawlessly cuts between different well-thought out locations, including, of all things, a holiday resort.
This is paired with some very strong performances by similarly strong actors. I mean, we all knew Stellan Skarsgard would deliver, sure. But Denise Gough absolutely kills it, acting-wise. Her delivery as a villain is perfect, the way she manages to always look so sour and annoyed already is quite something, how she normalizes evil into a technocrat career. Every flinch of her face conveys books of information to me as the fascinated viewer. She is at the heart of this series, and worth the price of admission alone.
And let's not forget Andy Serkis' heart-rending performance. Really, we're being spoiled. People are seriously acting, not just standing in front of a camera wearing costumes! In Star Wars!!
And yet, if it was only that, it still wouldn't have impacted me as deeply as it had. There's one more layer to this, and it's the massive bottom of the iceberg that is Andor. I haven't forgotten, even though I'm writing this a year after watching it.
(And definitely spoilers from here on onwards.)
Life under fascism
The second half of season 1 however can put deep horror into any thinking person's mind. It radically departs from previous portrayals of the evil Empire. It's not relying on cheap gimmicks like Episode VII where we see a village razed by the First Order. (So evil. So cliche, too. Also murdering Max von Sydow. Tsk, tsk. They had to get him off stage before any good acting happens...) Andor creeps under our skin and then reaps havoc.
(This part of this entry will become increasingly dark. You might not want to read on. Because fiction is one thing, and comparing it to historical reality is another. This is an actual trigger warning. Proceed with care.)
The first half of the season is standard fare, almost. Cassian gets himself in trouble and there is really no redeeming quality about it. He also gets everybody else into trouble. The Empire in its heavy-handed hurry to eradicate resistance actually creates it in the first place. And still... the lack of compunction about torture, about going victim by victim, vanishing people into its torture cells, breaking them... this is merely an overture. No hero is born here, but evil wears its mask imperfectly.
Cassian escapes his small world to eventually live the good life on a resort world, getting laid, pretending to be someone else. Instead of being caught as the fugitive and murderer and partisan he actually is by now, he simply gets caught up in the arrest of somebody else. The way the Empire "perpetrates justice" not only gets him arrested while having done no wrong (in that cover identity), he also gets sentenced by a court that doesn't even pretend to actually care about due process in any way. There's a machine of oppression, and instead of competently catching him, Cassian becomes caught up randomly in one of its many gears.
And while this may seem random, it's brilliant. It's one of the many reasons why resistance exists. Because the Empire's overreach is everywhere, grinding up people just living their lives while trying to perfect its control. The corruption of the desire for power leaks through in its banality.
What follows is Cassian's imprisonment, and this segment is brutal and horrifying on a deep level. The more you know, the worse it gets. Cassian is transported to a prison facility where he's forced into repetitive labor to make equipment for the Empire. There's a set of steps every labor team has to execute, and the team with the lowest quota gets punished with electric shocks. Day after day.
This is "Vernichtung durch Arbeit." ("Destruction through labor.") This is what the Nazis did to their political opponents. Before there was a Holocaust, there were concentration camps. And prisoners were made to work - the cynic motto across the gate of Auschwitz was "Arbeit macht frei." ("Labor sets you free.") People would gradually be ground down until they gave out in one way or another, fell sick, die of exhaustion, broke psychologically. The series never tells us its "inspiration," it just goes through similar motions. With the veneer of a super-clean techno prison over it.
Not only that, the very scene reminded me of what I read in a book about the Holocaust. Towards the end of the war the engines for the new secret weapon jet planes or rockets were manufactured by prison labor. Crews of malnourished prisoners would each execute a few pretrained steps and crank out more jet engines in slave labor than was previously done in the Reich's armament factories. This was the culmination of the Nazi system where all labor-intensive things like the bunkers of the Atlantic Wall or the underground factories of Dora-Mittelbau were erected by and on the back of slaves that were themselves gradually killed in the process.
Without ever breathing a word of what is portraying, Andor portrays the same. Skillfully, horribly so.
The devil is in the details
Some way into this horror, everybody gets their sentence doubled. The counter simply goes up. No explanation. Total helplessness in the face of total control. The deep gut feeling of "No one gets out here alive" or "It will never end" begins to descend. That number was a sort of life line for people to brave another day. And it lies!
As unbelievable as it may seem, people did get released from concentration camps, especially those on "lighter charges" like "antisocial behavior." But nobody really knew how long they had to stay or if they were to be released. Often, initially told they had to do 3 to 6 months depending on their conduct, and yet most people never left alive. A quick read in a book behind me says that 8 million people were sucked into the system, 7 million died, 200,000 left by being released by the system itself. The idea you might be released one day added false hope that in itself could create further psychological torture if it was dashed over and over again.
Then there is the "divide and conquer" approach to prisoner management. Work crews are led by other prisoners, rebellion and resistance is quelled within the ranks. This Andor merely hints at, but the Nazi oppression system skillfully created hierarchies to make sure a comparatively small detachment of guards could handle a large mass of inmates which could overwhelm them if acting together.
But it doesn't stop here, not in Andor, either. Eventually we learn that the Empire starts to eliminate the prison population. Rumors start to spread that an entire floor of the super prison was eliminated by electrocution. Just like the real Nazis the space Nazis start to construct yet another death machine to eliminate opposition.
And this leads to that sub-plots final chapter, the prison revolt. There are a few historical mass escapes, even from Nazi death camps. There's also the heroism of the two uprisings of Warsaw (including the ghetto uprising). Left with nothing to lose, left with nothing but death ahead, the prisoners overwhelm the guards.
And this happened in real life, too. It's probably based on the historical case of the death camp inmates that were forced to run the gas chambers and crematoria themselves. This is part of the Holocaust itself, the Nazis had finally dropped all pretenses and resorting to kill people in an industrial manner. And these people knew that eventually their whole detachment would be killed. They knew too much, were witnesses to this massive crime against them and humanity itself. They were also among those destined for death. Like in an antechamber of hell itself they were merely bidding time. So they managed one of the few mass escapes on record.
While Andor doesn't stray as far down the road as actual history does, it knows how to cite history for those who know. It's not made up of whole cloth. It actually is referencing the real history of the most inhumane version of fascism, but it does not put the fact in your face. But if you know, its chamber of horrors becomes so much deeper.
And that's why
This is what makes Andor an absolute masterpiece. It recreates the conditions without blindly copying the source. It adapts, but you can feel how deeply inhumane the circumstances are that it depicts. It gives you the bloody creeps, and even if you don't know how much it is rooted in darkness, you will still feel it. It shows. It tells. But it never spoils the source material.
This is art. This is the deep craft. The banality of evil, the careless, uncaring attitude of evil towards those it deems unworthy and not human. It's all on display. It switches us into the place of Cassian and of Andy Serkis' character as it draws us in as audience. We don't see what happens on other floors. We don't have the information advantage. We can only imagine. We are subjected to the fact that we can only imagine it. And so we share a bit in the plight of these characters. Sometimes not showing a thing is the highest accomplishment of movie making.
And this is why I'm pissed that a series that was planned for five seasons was already cut to play out in two. Because we need more of this and less of more Jedi doing backflips. Just like Loki plays on a completely different level than the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Andor leaves all of Star Wars in its dust. If Rogue One was the attempt to tell a different kind of story in the same universe, Andor is the attempt at a different level of depth.
And this, more than Rogue One, makes it clear why they fight.
Watch it if you can.
And sorry if I horrified you.
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OMG imagine any the touchstarved Mls jealous specially Leander or Ais!!
Ok. I Will then.
LEANDER perks his head up at the sound of your laughter ringing from the living room. he keeps his steps quiet as he walks to where you're sitting on the couch, headphones on for a voice call.
you're quick to notice him, waving while you tease a friend over something they said. ais doesn't hesitate to sit next to you, letting his head fall onto your shoulder. you bring your arm around him and laugh again. "what the hell are you talking about, dude?"
leander can be patient. he's patient with his job, with you dragging yourself out of bed, or you trying to pick what snacks you want for movie night. but something itches at him, whatever part of him that's needy to have your attention now that he's home. he exhales against your skin, catching your gaze when you look over. he smiles and you smile back.
"of course i wanna see the outfit, let me see," you say suddenly.
leander pouts.
his eyes move from your face to the screen to see who's taking you away. your friend has turned on his camera to show off what he bought. "oh, that's really nice, what the fuck? when did you get this?"
"yes, i'm sure you'll get everyone's attention, weirdo. it looks great. you look...handsome? pretty? whichever. both, somehow," you end your sentence confused. "shut up, i'm saying you look good. take the compliment."
you don't notice leander clenching his jaw while he watches the scene unfold. it's immature. it's immature for him to get jealous, he chides. and he isn't, not really, just a little needy. but without looking at him, you ask, "babe, doesn't he look super handsome-pretty? leander's here, by the way. yeah, y—okay. handsome-pretty boy says hi."
"oh? am i not handsome-pretty boy?" he asks, brow raised.
"huh? aw, le, you're the handsome-est, prettiest boy, ever. which means you're the best judge of my handsome-pretty scale, where you land high on in this," you end with a pointed look at your screen, despite your camera being off.
your original question is forgotten when your friend snaps back with a joke, and it's like you never spoke to leander in the first place. his pout returns and he furrows his brows. arms come around your waist in a snug hold, and he nuzzles closer into the crook of your neck. he says he's not jealous.
your eyes flicker between him and your friend—he needs your eyes on him only. leander presses a kiss to your collarbone—not because he's jealous, he repeats to himself—before trailing more up your neck and jaw. and he repeats it again when he kisses the corner of your lips. but then he hears the stutter in your voice as his fingers crawl under your shirt to rest on your hips, and he can't help the accomplished smile that forms.
"hey, i think i have to go now, actually. yeah, i forgot i never ordered dinner. you'll do great, okay?" you reassure your friend, hand coming to rest over your boyfriend's. "yeah, good luck, text me if anything happens, bye!"
leander is so close that he can hear the familiar sound of you leaving the voice channel through your headphones. he moves so that when you look at him, you can easily see the innocent smile he flashes you. "you wanna order dinner?"
@screaming-wea-sel @dreamtydraw @mari-thesimp
#i was going to write ais but i went out. hey#let myself write this bc i dropped my class. TEEHEE!!! 🙂🫶#touchstarved game#touchstarved leander#nia + touchstarved#🧾nia.answers#<3 anon#q
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Star Wars Rewatch: TROS
Oh, God.
Palpatine come back and ruining Anakin Skywalker's redemption. Why? How? Cloning, okay, so this Palpatine isn't the real Palpatine?!
We get to see Supreme Leader Kylo Ren for about 4 minutes before he's immediately benched by Palpatine as co-pilot. Why? I get they didn't want Kylo Ren as the big bad, but this is just lazy writing.
Green goblin, I remember you don't last long.
R2D2, they never wash him or nothing?
Maybe the First Order should win. They take hits and keep on knocking. They take losses and recovered, quickly and well. They always seem to have intelligence from somewhere. In short, they are competent.
Poe and Finn, have a great dynamic.
Rey is finally training for everyone who had a boner for two movies about her having a rocky fight montage.
They moment where Ren is praying over Darth Vader's mask and his mind bridges with Rey is a great reminder that these two are connected.
This film did something most franchise should never, it responded to criticism in real time.
Poe, you fucked up Han's ship. Stop attacking like she doesn't have a reason to be annoyed. Also, Rey is currently the sole Jedi in the galaxy, she should be training, not running off on every errand you have to do.
Colin Travano (whatever his name is) I wouldn't have wanted his script. Like at all. Poe and Rey do have chemistry though and you can tell they enjoy needling one another. It's just not endgame.
That Finnrey hug was awkward. It's a church hug with their butts sticking out. I'm Reylo to the core, but I have place for FinnRey in my heart. They're soulmates in a different way than Reylo is. Also, Daisy Ridley and John B are adorable and you can tell they enjoy working together.
In a flawed film, Rose Tico being sidelined was a wise decision.
Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewie and 3PO are cute. JJ Adams did seem to love friendships developing and for the third film we needed to see all these characters together on an adventure.
Kylo Ren is forging this dumb ass mask again. Look it worked initially, character wise and so forth, but at this point?! He smashed it and moved past the need for it. The audience liked that he smashed it. We have to see his face for emotional scenes. Why is it back? Oh I know! Because JJ Adams good juvenile friend was sad his mask wasn't in the film anymore. General Hux and Kylo are magically little bottle of goodness. We got so little.
We leave one planet for another planet but I keep forgetting what planet we're on. Title cards too much to ask?
Ren is actually pursuing Rey or The Scavenger because yes he wants her for himself. but he also wants to protect her from Palpatine. Their first force bond......... yeah. I've read the novelization so I understand it's been a minute since they've seen one another, but if I just watched the movie would I have known that? No. There is much they saying yet it's stiff and doesn't make much sense without context.
General Pryde. Why did we need him when we have General Hux?
I think Billie D Williams filmed all his scenes sitting down. He looks happy to be there but tired as hell.
Race through the desert of Pasaana. I like it. This crew does work and it feels like a fun adventure. There are cute, whitty moments between all of them and it works.
She heals a snake - Two halves of the dyad should only have been able to heal one another, but here we are.
The Trio and Co find the evil sith ship or whatever. The Knights of Ren gotta walk while Ren is flying. Ren tries to run down Rey, again this make sense in the novelization and not at all in real life. After Rey injures his planes, he crashes and the majestic prince emerges out of the flames. Seriously?! Why the hell are you covering this guy up?!
In a rip off of The Last Jedi we get a tug-o-war scene between the ship Chewie is on. It's not as great, but it's a good scene and we see how Rey's powers have grown. We know it's a waste of time though. They're evenly matched. It's a nice surprise when the lighting shoots out. Okay, I don't mind her being a Palpatine. I mind the retconning. I mind Palpatine magically coming back.
Rey confesses to Finn about her dream of her and Kylo Ren on the Sith Throne. Where? We would have liked to have seen this.
This is a nice FinnRey scene. Despite her display of "dark power", her killing Chewie presumably, Finn doesn't look at her any different. She's still Rey to him. He's patient and present and she describes her challenges. We still don't acknowledge Finn is force sensitive. Why isn't he training with Rey?
We are blazing through this movie. That's part of the problem we're just pushing plot points at this point. The movie needs to be more selective about slowing down and concentrating on character development. Something painfully lacking in this film. Even the Reylo scenes are about pushing the plot forward rather than pushing the characters forward.
3PO actually has a storyline this movie. Good for him. Look secondary characters in a trilogy, you get your moments and it ain't gonna be every film.
Zorri and Babu are nice additions. I like Zorri and the fact that Ren kicking her ass actually made her like her. Women supporting women. Were Zorri and Poe a thing. What's a spice runner? A space drug dealer?
Rey's social skills lack a bit. but she's great with Droids.
Wait, Chewie and Ren were both on Ren's Destroyer and they didn't even have a scene together?! Chewie's like an uncle to Ren.
Ren, show up in your boss ass destroyer to get your girl.
Standout lines -
Poe: 3PO! Move your metal ass.
3PO: How dare you we just met.
Finn, Poe and Chewie cowboying through the destroyer. Nice scene, doomed for failure I'm afraid.
Second Reylo forceskype is exposition. First real Reylo scene is exposition. Hey, movies gotta get it done haha but Ren literally is like here's the plot of the movie and everything you've been confused on up until this point. I will say watching the progression of the force bond that their spaces are now physically bleeding into one another. Nice touch. It's also nice to see what they each see when looking at one another through the force bond.
General Hux is the spy. Could've gone farther with this. RIP Dawg
Another FinnRey scene where you begin to understand Rey is pissed off and darker than possibly Finn thought.
Palpatine and Ren scene. I'm so annoyed Palpatine is in this movie.
We meet a ragtime band on horses surprise their former stormtroopers. All of them. From the same company. Sure Jan.
Seeing the death star again, so odd and doesn't look a thing like the original. We see scavenger Rey again.
Reylo fights again because Rey is the denial queen and she's free to take out her aggression on Ren. He likes feral Rey. In another less PG film, they've fought and then boned, but Leia died. Also, Dark Rey.... I'm here for it. Mostly cause it looks cool.
The film makers did the best they could with Carrie's Fisher passing. I thought they handled it with class and dignity while incorporating it into the film.
After Leia's passing and Rey healing it. Ren in his ever presented conflict nature overlooks the water when his father appears. It's poignant and character driven scene. It's beautiful scene about the enduring love of a parent. A flawed parent but a loving one nonetheless. Ben had two of those and he seems to finally understand that now.
Poe has a good scene with Leia's body about being a leader. Something that, despite all the bravado, he finally admits he doesn't know how to do. This would've been a great scene with her alive. Part of the issue people have the sequel trilogy of the lack of respect paid for previous generations. As if they are flawed and bigoted. On screen and off screen. A scene where Finn, Poe or Rey paid respect for the accomplishments of previous generations. Their courage and their bravery. Billie D. feels like just a stand-in.
Palpatine army blows up yet another planet. yawn.
Finn is a general bestow as such by Poe. Good choice. Sanitation worker aside no one knows more about The First Order than someone who was a stormtrooper. Finn reveals Palpatine wanted Rey alive...... then why tell Ren to kill her? Because if Rey didn't go dark then Ren was the fall back or vice versa?
So far it's not a bad film, just a disappointing film. The stuff that made my blood boil is about to come.
Rey isolates herself on Acht-to, burns the ship and we see ghost Luke. Why? She saw herself on the dark throne and she's afraid of herself. This might have meant something. At one point. It just feels like a retcon at this point. She's a Palpatine but Leia and Luke didn't care? Then what the hell were you worried about Ben for? If blood and legacy means nothing.
I'm not one of those people that need everything in a movie to make sense. It's also a space fantasy film, but damn.
Rey leads the Resistance to Exegol, she just doesn't know it. That was handy. No, really the way the movie sliced that together worked very well. Poe and Finn make a great speech about the resistance. Not as rousing as I'd like.
Exegol being the basis for the Sith religion is actually really cool. Wish we could've learned more. Empress Palpatine sounds like a boss ass name.
I hate everything about the ending of this film.
Rey once again goes into the enemy territory without a plan. The resistance doesn't really have one either except gumption.
Ben Solo is back! He's great. He's a hero. He's got great hair. He's likeable. We haven't seen him for 20 minutes, he doesn't say a word except "Ow" We have a beautiful Reylo moment where we Rey and Ben see each other through the Force Bond and she looks at Ben with such relief, joy and love that he's there with her. Ben fight like hell to get to her. This is it! Bendemption. We've waited three films for this. Then they tossed him off a cliff.
While it's a great scene of Rey listening to the previous Jedi's and rising up. I'm so confused how the dyad coming together empowers the devil. Ben has been made completely irrelevant.
I mean, we got a Reylo Kiss! It was epic and then it was over. We were lucky to get that considering Disney started to shy away from Reylo due to all the "controversy" I just hate this so we'll move on.
The hug was nice!
Rey Skywalker?
And that's that
#reylo#ben solo#star wars#finnrey#rey skywalker#rey star wars#kylo ren#kylo x rey#ben solo deserved better#rey nobody
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Hi may i request like a angst then to fluff ethan landry fic.. cause all i see is smut😭and if ever ill go through the fluff tag its either i already read all of them or its all smut .. again
Sharp objects
Ethan Landry x M!Reader
Spoilers for scream 6!!!!
Summary: takes place during the Subway scene
Warnings: angst, fluff, and swearing
“Is this even a good plan?” Questioned Ethan. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to” said Tara in annoyance. “So we’re just going to peel off and the killer picks us off one by one, no thank you” said Ethan as the group walked down the stairs. “Let’s just get to the theater, come on in here” said Sam as she walked into the train. “Ah yes because it would be much less scary in a serial killer movie theater” said Chad sarcastically. Mindy, Ethan, and y/n got lost in the crowd as their friends slowly started to walk into the train. Little did the three of them know the train moved on without them, forcing them to wait for the next train. Y/n watched as e Mindy started to walk away from Ethan. Ethan turned around to see y/n standing next to him. “Thanks babe for actually trusting m-” Ethan was shortly cut off by Y/n walking towards the other side of the train. Y/n mouthed the word sorry as the train arrived.
Mindy was on the far left of the train, Ethan in the middle, and y/n on the far right. None of them could trust each other. The lights started to flicker as y/n noticed that there were a lot of people in ghostface costumes. All of a sudden y/n received a text from Mindy.
Mindy
Your little boyfriend keeps staring at you, I would look out for him if I were you.
Y/n started to text back
You
I’m sure he’s fine Mindy, don’t overreact
Mindy was about to text back when she noticed that the signal wasn’t working.
Y/n and Ethan checked on Mindy to see if she was okay. But the lights started to flicker as y/n saw someone in a ghostface costume look at him. But the lights flickered again as the person disappeared. Y/n tried to find them but just assumed it was someone in a ghostface costume who just got off. The lights flickered again but this time ghostface appeared in front of him as he stabbed his knife into y/n’s stomach. Y/n tried to scream but the attacker was covering his mouth. Ghostface slid y/n onto the ground as the train came to a stop. Ghostface left leaving y/n to bleed out on the ground.
Ethan and Mindy noticed y/n on the ground bleeding out. Ethan rushed to help y/n as he called for people to help. “Mindy go with the group I’ll help y/n” said Ethan. Mindy couldn’t argue, so she just left to help the group. Ethan helped y/n out of the train as he called for paramedics. “You’re going to be okay babe” said Ethan. “How do you feel?” Said Ethan. “I feel great” said y/n sarcastically. “I swear to god if I find out you’re ghostface I’m going to fucking kill you” said y/n jokingly. “Hey, I’m going to meet up with Mindy and the rest of the group” said Ethan as the paramedics came. “I’ll be right back okay?” Said Ethan as he gave y/n one last kiss before he left
A/n: This was very rushed but I hope you liked it🥰
#ethan landry#ethan landry x male reader#scream 6#male reader x scream#male x male#scream x male reader#mlm#malexmale#male reader#angst#gay fluff#fluff
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🌷 Andrew Garfield
"When I finally kiss you, there won’t be any doubt in your mind that it is real. "
_my lips on you
andrew garfield x fem!reader
based on: "When I finally kiss you, there won’t be any doubt in your mind that it is real."
summary: you've been flirting with Andrew for months without kissing. it's time to finally taste those pretty lips.
words: 839
a/n: this story makes me want to kiss Andrew even more now. and yes I totally picture Jess & Nick first kiss for the last part, I hope you will love it♥️
join my secret garden for my 1k celebration 🌸
“I’d like to thank everyone that managed to make this shooting and this movie possible.”
You couldn’t believe the shooting was over. After six months of crazy schedules, one of your favorite projects you ever did was almost ready to be shown to the world. When they offered you the starring role, you immediately accepted.
When you learnt that Andrew Garfield was playing the other main role, you knew you made the right choice.
He was one of your favorite characters, the type you always dreamt to work with. And, you had to admit you had a little crush on him after watching his movies. You couldn’t wait to start acting with him. And this experience was meeting your expectation. Actually, it was even better for a good reason.
You spent six months flirting with Andrew. It started three weeks after you began shooting. You had to shoot a scene outside at night. You finished around 3 a.m. and saying you were tired was an understatement. While waiting for the director to say you could go back to the hotel, Andrew walked behind you and wrapped you in his arms. He had a cover over him, and he managed to cover you with him. “It’s better, isn’t it?” he whispered in your ear. You turned your head towards him, your lips almost touching. Was it a dream? Were you really living this moment with your crush?
You could have wonder that for the rest of the shooting if it didn’t happen again. Andrew started to have sweet gesture for you every day like bringing you your favorite drink or something to eat when you’ve been shooting for a long time, massaging your shoulders, or offering you comfort hugs when you were tired.
More than sweet gestures, Andrew was obviously flirting with you. There wasn’t a day where he wasn’t complimenting you. And you noticed how he always had an eye on you, no matter where you were in the room.
You wished something more would happen. You almost kissed multiple times but it never happened. “Not now.” He would say every time you were leaning too close to him.
One night you were so done after a rough shooting day you almost fought with Andrew about that. You felt like he was playing with you, like you were just the toy he had under his hand right now and he would get rid of once the shooting is over.
“When I finally kiss you, there won’t be any doubt in your mind that it is real.” He told you, his hands around your face. He placed a kiss on your nose, like a promise that he was making. You wanted to believe him.
But there you were, at the wrapping party. Still not aware of how Andrew’s lips were tasting.
After the director speech and the applause, you went outside to have some fresh air. It wasn’t helping that Andrew looked absolutely gorgeous in his dark suit, making his features even more attractive. You just wanted to run over the room and kiss him passionately. But it wasn’t your decision. You proved him how much you wanted it. He had to prove he wanted too.
It wasn’t until you were heading inside that you saw Andrew, leaning on the glass door. “Are you trying to escape me?” he asked, laughing. You couldn’t be mad at that man. He was still your favorite actor, and he became one of your favorite people through the shooting, even he was messing with your mind and heart. So, you smiled at him and approached him, making sure that he was admiring every movement you were making.
“I would rather say, escape the thoughts of your lips on mine.” You put a hand on his chest, feeling the heat of his body through the fabric. You looked at him in the eyes, getting lost in his brown mystery world that you wanted to discover. Andrew put a hand on top of yours, squeezing it slowly.
But Andrew wasn’t moving. When it was clear that he wasn’t going to kiss you right now, you started heading inside for good. You didn’t want to spend your night playing cat and mouse with him. You had a movie to celebrate with other people.
As soon as you put a foot inside, Andrew pulled you by the hand to have you back in front of him. Before you had the time to think about it, he put his other hand on your face and his lips on yours. It was finally happening. He was giving you the perfect first kiss between you, you could have hoped for. It was just like you imagined it to be: passionate, desperate and amazingly good.
When he stopped, Andrew put his forehead against yours. You were both out of breath and smiling like two idiots. “Does it look real now?” he whispered.
“I don’t know, I should give it another try.” You answered, pulling him by the neck to kiss him again.
#andrew garfield#Andrew garfield x you#Andrew garfield imagine#andrew garfield x reader#Andrew garfield x female!reader#andrew garfield fanfiction#my writing#1k celebration
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Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy [S.Harrington x Henderson!Reader]
prev - next
A/N: I finished watching S4 and felt like my soul would leave my body at every scene lol Sadie Sink it's just completely amazing on this season 😭😭
Chapter 8: The Piña Colada Song
Waking up early at the next day made you quickly move with the boys to get everything done.
You were separating some good amount of things to eat at the breakfeast and a little bit more for the rest of the day in case you guys felt hungry since you were sensing that you guys would take at least some good part of the day making a trap for Dart, leaving it on the kitchen island and turning to the meat you had separated on the night before.
"Morning"
Sensing you looking at him, his eyes moved up and encountered yours, making you look away and shaking your head before frowning and continued to chop the meat, pure embarrassement creeping up your neck and up you cheeks.
"Hey, good morning" You got stucked at chopping of the meat you're gonna need the moment you laid eyes on Steve. He just had a shower, his hair was damp and towel around his neck while he was munching on something that you didn't had a clue of what it was and the only thing that passed trough your head was how drop dead gorgeous he was looking.
"Ok Y/N, focus, the meat, cut the meat. Stop having these thoughts, he has a girlfriend and would never even consider you a option even if he was single. Focus. Dart. Yeah, the situation with Dart is important. Stay focused! It doesn't matter that he looks pretty even with his hair damp...OH MY GOD! OK, DART! Yes, Dart!"
But you just totally missed how he was looking at you the moment you just turned away. It was incredible, you were just chopping meat, yellow gloves at your hands but yet, someway, Steve just thought of how freaking beautiful you were at the moment, somehow a ray of sun settled itself behind you and illuminated you directly and Steve just lost his breath for a second, taking in how beautiful you actually were, making a line from your eyes to the tip of your nose and your pretty mouth that had a little pout. But then he frowned. The hell was he doing???
"Oh my god! Steve Harrington, you love Nancy Wheeler, what the hell what are you thinking? You still love Nancy Wheeler, right? Right!...i do still love Nancy, right? But Y/N is so beautiful, like what the hell is that pout?? I wish i could kiss it away...WOAH! WHAT?! FOCUS STEVE! Dart! Yes, Dart! Focus on Dart, that's why you were called here!"
He immediatly went back to eat what he was eating and you were finishing to chop the meat, you both went silent, a little bit of tension on the air.
When Dustin entered the kitchen, his smile droped at noticing the obvious tension between you and Steve, he sighed and look to Steve, to you and back to Steve, noticing how the older boy pretended to eat something but always sneaking glances at you without you noticing.
"Hey, guys! Good Morning"
"Hey buddy! Slept well?"
"Like a baby, sis"
"Good" you said taking off the gloves "I'm ready with the meat, so if you want to start putting it on the buckets for me while i go take a shower..."
"Sure, me and Steve can handle it"
Dustin saw Steve was done pretending that he was busy eating something and went putting the gloves that you were wearing while Dustin grabed another pair, put it on and grabed some meat to put in a bucket.
"Thanks!" You ruffled Dustin's hat when you passed by him and went straight to bathroom.
"Did you slept well on the couch, Steve?"
"Yeah, surprisily i did"
"That couch is really good to take a nap, Y/N does it everytime when she's watching a movie and end up falling asleep" he said casually to see what would be Steve's reaction at the mention of you
"Can't really judge her, i would always sleep in that couch if i could" Steve shrugged his shoulders as he putted some meat in the other bucket "I was wondering...your sister has ever dated anyone?"
Steve asked cautiously, eyes trained on the meat but ears attentive to what Dustin was about to say.
"Yeah, she dated a guy a while ago, what was his name again?" he pretended to think "Jackson? Jack? Jordan? Oh, i think it was Jordan! Cool dude, really tall, redhead but he ended up being a jerk to her"
"What he did?"
"Cheated on her" Dustin saw Steve furrow his brows and looked at Dustin "A jerk right?"
"Totally. Such a shit act"
"You tell me, i think i never saw my sister being so sad and angry at the same time, she's not one to be mad easilly, but the Jordan situation really got on her nerves"
"He tried to get her back??"
"Sometimes, wouldn't stop bring flowers and faking crying on our front door saying that he missed her and shit, she never believed him though and never got back with him. But why you asking?"
"Has she ever shown some interest in him?"
Steve looked around, making sure that you weren't around before turning to Dustin and then sighed "It's just that there's a new guy at school, a little bit of a jerk i would say, has been all over her since he arrived and everytime he gets close to her, i can see that she gets uncomfortable"
"No, not at all, she always rolls her eyes and sometimes makes sassy remarks but it looks like he doesn't get the message"
"What a jerk"
"Right? I know that she can take care of herself, i saw it last year, but there's something about this guy that it's just off and i don't know"
"You should help her, you know?"
"How?"
"Just pretend that you have something to say with her, Y/N/N's too polite, even if the person it's being a scumb, she will always chose to be polite till she can't take it anymore. So next time, just made up something."
"Ok, i'll try remember that"
"How's things with Nancy?"
"I don't know, she said some things and i haven't seen her since Tina's halloween party, guess it's a little complicated"
"Hope you guys can figure this out"
"Hey guys, everything ready?" you asked when you arrived on the living room
"Yeah, i hope too" Steve sighed, he didn't even know anymore what was the situation with Nancy, he knew that they weren't on good terms and now she's just gone the hell knows where possibly with Jonathan Byers, the excruciating feeling that she was just pretending their whole relationship was always present in Steve's mind and he thought if they were still together or if things really ended by now.
"Yeah, everything's ready" Dustin answered
"Let's go after that thing" Steve said and went to load the things on his car.
"Sorry man, my stupid sister turn it off" Oh, it was Lucas
Soon as you and Steve finished loading the car with everything you gonna need to, you heard Dustin's walkie turn to life and turned around to pay attention on the conversation "Well, well, well, look who it is"
"Wait, what?"
"Well while you were having sister's problems, Dart grew again, has scaped and i'm sure it is a baby Demogorgon!" You continued to help Steve with the things while hearing Dustin and Lucas conversation, putting on some gloves while you unloaded a little bit more of gasoline.
"I'll explain later, just meet me, Y/N and Steve at the old junkyard"
"Steve?"
"And bring over the binnoculars and your wrist rocket"
"Steve Harrington?" you left a giggle at Lucas surprised voice and Steve gave you a smirk
"Alright, let's go" Steve said closing the trunk and getting a bucket while you got the other
"Why are they always surprised when my name comes around?" Steve asked you
"Just be there, stat! Over and now!" Dustin turned off the walkie-talkie and you guys started walking, way off to the woods.
"I think it's just weird you being there, don't know. But i'm actually glad you here"
"Really?"
Yeah, maybe it was good not being alone babysitting the party while having to save the world again.
"Yeah, feels good to know that i won't be the only one babysitting them this time" He scoffed and pushed a little by your shoulder, you let out a laugh and he laughed a little too.
"I can't believe we gonna save this country ass again, all i'm asking it's a year without having to fight monsters from the Upside Down!"
"It's insane" Dustin agreed
Taglist: @mochminnie @marmol4d4 @starhastoomanyfandoms @ren-ni @xoxoloverb @nctma15
"Someone please tell those douches that i want to have a normal highschool worrying about stupid futile things, jeez!" You said out loud and laughed, the boys laughing along cause yeah, no one can't take this anymore, wanting to have a normal life without putting your lifes in danger would be great.
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x original character#steve harrington#dustin henderson x henderson!reader#dustin henderson x reader#dustin henderson#reader insert#stranger things season 2#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#stranger things imagine
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Brothers Conflict Fuuto Asahina Review
Includes Spoilers
So I wanted to do a review of Fuuto based off the game on PS Vita as well as the anime. I will eventually get around to do some of the other routes but I figured if I didn't post this I wouldn't get to it for awhile.
I started off hating this little shit from the anime however I will say in some of his close moments with Ema did bring a different vibe at times that I found myself somewhat attracted to him but still hated him. Not gonna lie sometimes I found his interactions like in the elevator on the ova pretty fuckin hot. I think it was a pain that a younger brother was more of a ass but after playing the game I realized he really is nothing more than a tsundere. Also the vampire scene was also pretty hot but I have a thing about vampires anyways.
Then I went to play the game and omg he started off as a ass again but damn he started doin sweet stuff and I couldn't help but start to love this guy. He would buy ema stuff without her asking and snuggle her why he watched his favorite movies with her. He would grab her hand and hold it when she didn't ask and tell her he wanted her to stay with him all night in his bedroom yet not sexually. Yes he still had his cheekiness to him with his sexual things but its funny as time goes on you really get to see why he doesn't let people in. He is so used to people wanting something from him all the time or wanting him to do stuff for them that he doesn't recognize when someone just wants to know him and expects nothing in return.
His story is sadder than you think because without getting close to him you never realize he works so much, has a weird schedule so doesn't see many people, and people want him to be something he really gets tired of being. He puts on a fake smile and persona for everyone but he is actually rather lonely. This is why he can be so bitter and even though sexually he likes to make comments I have come to learn its a coping mechanism for him I think he is so lonely that with even a sexual connection to someone he would gladly embrace. However you find that behind all his comments he will say he is joking but I think its more so you don't suspect of him just wanting to be close.
At times he tells Ema in sleepovers he just wants her to hold him all night. These are the moments you see the genuine side of Fuuto and how lonely he is. When he opens up to her about his wants of being a actor you can see such a happiness in him of sharing this with someone. Honestly at the end of of it all I really think I have grown to love Fuuto quiet alot used to be he was barely on my radar now he is in my top 3 guys now. Now I love tsundere's so maybe thats why I loved his character in the end but I also just wanted to understand where he was coming from.
He bought her gifts and took her to sweet romantic places where it was just the two of them. You really saw him falling in love with her and as he did he started not being so rough and rude with her. He had his moments like anyone else when he had little sleep or a bad day. This being said he got where he would come to her when he needed someone to talk to. He even goes out of his way to tell her that she is pretty even more so than the women he sees everyday.
The confession of love he gives is so cute even though he is right about needing to stay a secret due to her being family and his career but you can tell he still cuts corners sometimes and forgets or just doesn't care because he wants a bit of normalcy that others get. You can tell if he could though he would shout it to the world and not care. He even goes the extra mile of going to public school to be closer to her more often which is so cute and he is so hurt when Ema makes the statement to a friend that she thought he just did it on a whim and I really think she hurt him by saying that and him hearing which hurt my heart.
At Valentine's day in japan the women give to men and Ema did give him something but he came back and surprised her as well with a gift of expensive chocolates that he waited in line for just to get her that are normally sold out, like how sweet is that. His christmas gift is a song he sings to her right in the middle of a stadium he can't come out and say its his sister but he apologizes for practically being a little shit and that he wanted to give this to her.
For anyone who would normally pass up on dating Fuuto I would say if your into tsundere's you will love him how over if you like sweet boys he really is one you just got to get past his outer shell and who he has to be for everyone else. I'm glad I romanced him all the way through he gave me a love for him I don't think I would have ever gotten just from the anime.
#anime#shoujo#shoujo anime#brothers conflict#otome#gaming#fuuto asahina#reviews#review#ps vita#playstation vita#fuuto#tsundere
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Episode 33 - "Holes Holes Holes" (Show Notes)
listen along here
General New Moon content warning for ongoing discussions of suicide!
[00:02:54] Cassandra Claire’s “Very Secret Diaries” (yes, it's the same Cassandra Clare. She spelled it with an "I" back in her fandom days)
[00:03:49] The Cassandra Claire Plagiarism Saga
[00:04:10] Fanlore's definition of "crack/crackfic"
[00:05:29] Orlando Bloom in Gran Turismo
[00:07:20] The only valid two-party system
[00:08:20] The Poldark TV series and books
[00:13:58] This chapter be like
[00:15:35] What Ioco (and G) mean by “Disney wolves” (why yes G does regret her entire life after having to google “Disney female animals”)
[00:15:46] It's a vine by Lily Zella
[00:20:18] What G means by "Chekhov’s heart problem”
[00:21:03] Waiting Is Not Easy by Mo Willems
[00:23:52] Bella be like
[00:29:13] “Oh my God, he admit it”
[00:29:39] Bella defines “friend” in the New Moon movie
[00:30:43] Poor Angela
[00:31:27] Hank the Tank
[00:31:51] The Wild Animal Sanctuary (which actually IS where Hank the Tank was relocated! G highly recommends a visit next time you're in the Denver area—they also house a ton of the tigers/other animals rescued from the shitty roadside zoo in Tiger King)
[00:33:08] Cocaine Bear (and the true story)
[00:35:33] Shannon can’t go 10 minutes without talking about Gideon the Ninth/the Locked Tomb books (in which someone ends up with an actual hole in their chest. Eat your heart out, Bella)
[00:36:37] One of G’s favorite posts of all time
[00:39:37] 10 Things I Hate About You's “tumescent” scene
[00:40:07] Amber talked about reading New Moon before Twilight back in Episode 28
[00:41:01] G did her best to find the originator of this post and failed. Drop us a line if you know who made it!
[00:44:14] Human Pet Guy (cw: ableism, body horror, and general ickyness if you click)
[00:58:36] "Bella" running and sobbing in Twilight the Musical (the other thing G is reminded of is this Broad City gif: )
[01:03:22] The sick as hell "Victoria smearing James’ ashes on herself" moment
[01:06:15] "Fucking guy” as coined by Nandor from What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
[01:22:21] The Russian dude nickname that starts with T and is ‘quite funny’ to G’s American ears? “Tit.” (It seems to be mercifully uncommon.)
[01:22:32] The Shadow and Bone series' Tolya
[01:22:52] I Am Dragon is a sillyfun Russian fairytale movie we watched with Bella’s Book Movie Club in summer 2023, and features a minor character named Igor
[01:34:18] Follow Ioco @iocococo here on Tumblr!
[01:34:40] Bella's Book Club's December book info and events calendar
Thanks for show-noting along as always! See you in 2024 :D
#show notes#episode 33#twilight#podcast#twilight podcast#new moon#midnight sun#life and death#twilight saga#the twilight saga#twilight renaissance
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Okay, folks. I did it. I watched Women in Love so you don't have to. This is the movie that had a deep emotional impact on both Freddie and Brian For Reasons. I had already seen some of it so I expected queer-codedness, but man...
The longest storyline in the movie (that carries on from start to finish) is Rupert, one of the male leads, wanting More than a traditional marriage to his wife. In this case, 'More' is specified as a *cough* totally platonic (right???) eternal loving relationship with his best friend, Gerald.
This leads to glorious gay scenes like this one:
("We ought to swear to love each other, you and I. Implicitly, perfectly, finally, without any possibility of ever going back on it."
"We'll wait 'til I understand it better.")
And this one:
Gudrun is Gerald's girlfriend, by the way :))))
I can't believe Freddie and Brian both fell to their knees over this in 1969. This is the sort of gay angst that would have queer Tumblrinas lose their minds if it had come out today. The way Gerald looks at his lips before sneering at him. My man, that is so unnecessarily limp-wristed of you. And don't even get me started on the DIALOGUE.
The idea of admitting to loving your friend as much as their partner does.... yeah, thinking Thoughts.
There's also the whole ending, which is a Lot. It has Rupert finally admitting to his wife that marriage to her isn't enough for him and that he needs a man to complete his life. But before that... there's this:
(A++ acting from actual bicon Alan Bates)
Rupert's love for Gerald is the one major character arc that continues during the whole film (which is very character-driven), and it comes to a tragic and somehow still cathartic resolution.
"I wanted a man friend as eternal as you and I are eternal."
"You can't have two kinds of love (...) because it's impossible."
"I don't believe that."
I'm not kidding. That's the last dialogue in the movie. And the movie ends with a nice frame of his wife's shocked face. Poetic cinema. Local Woman Realizes Bisexuality Exists.
Anyway... the movie was great. Brian and Freddie both loving it is insane and I stand by that. And yes, I'll say it: I also personally think that the parallels between Rupert and Brian are insane.
BYEEEEE.
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"Sometimes I wonder what you saw in me."
In which Mark and an old friend reunite - this time, with feeling!
[This is the second part to a two-parter, so be sure to read this first if you haven't yet]
TW: cursing, angst/comfort
Pages: 27 - Words: 9500
[Requests: OPEN]
“Mr. Patton!”
Having been a director for many a year, Patton had learned that someone yelling his name with that much intention could be one of three things; the first being that someone had died, the other that X, Y or Z had too much coffee and puked their brains out into a stall, or something good had happened. The latter was less common, but it was always a welcome surprise. Hoping for Christmas to come early, he turned around and saw two of his assistants. Yours and Mark’s, the ones who were supposed to be with you at all times.
So, not the latter.
“Is everything alright?” he asked, tiredly.
The events they spilled were, all in all, not normal. They had taken it upon themselves to fix your relationship, and it had gone well, it seemed. You hadn’t been figuring out new insults, at least, and had even said a good morning on the way in. Patton didn’t see what the problem was, but it didn’t stop him from continuing on with his very busy schedule.
“Nice job, you two, well done,” he commended without effort, “Now, we’ve got five scenes to shoot today, so we’re gonna need a lot of touch-ups and coffees. I think that café nearby is open until six—”
Juliette ran in front of him, effectively blocking him from rushing away. She spoke pleadingly, “Well, we were wondering if you could help us send them off together?”
Patton’s face dropped. He liked his prize actors, he really did, but not enough to take away from the working day.
“We don’t have time for that,” he responded, watching as her face, too, fell, “Look, whatever they do on their own time is up to them, but I can’t have them fixing anything during work hours.”
Toby stepped up to bat now, saying, “But, sir, this is helping them.”
But Patton wouldn’t budge. “We’re on a tight schedule as is, we can’t lose any more time.” He tried to move past them, but they were a brick wall that couldn’t be knocked down. He would have better luck throwing a baby at them and seeing if it stuck.
“Then just for lunch.”
“Toby.”
“Please?”
Those puppy dog eyes might have actually worked three years ago, when he had been younger and more open to convincing. Now, though, they just made him sidestep and wave down another crew member.
“The Captain and the Engineer are supposed to like each other, right?” Juliette interrupted when she saw a camera man approaching, a particularly bulky one at that. “And it’ll be easier for them to act like it if they do like each other in real life, right?”
She was pulling at straws here, desperately hoping for him to agree with one single thing they pointed out.
It was his own death sentence when he muttered, “Well, yes, but—”
She stuck to that sign of weakness. “Or do you want them to go back to spitting insults and potentially jeopardize the entire movie?”
More tired than he was resistant, he replied, “No, I don’t. But I also don’t want to sacrifice daylight.”
Toby rounded, finally, to stand directly in front of Patton. “You said that you need touch-ups and coffees, so what if we did the fixing bits and they get the coffees together?”
The director glanced between the assistants. They raised some good points and gave even better solutions, and what would he be if he weren’t a lenient boss. That and the puppy dog eyes Toby had maintained were working wonders now that his resolve had broken apart.
“I suppose—” Barely a complete sentence, not even a yes or no, and they were getting excited, like two children being offered anything they wanted in a candy store, “—that could work… Fine, we’ll send them, but I don’t think Mark will be too happy as an errand boy.”
That was the least of their concerns and the farthest thing from their minds as they received the go ahead. Hyped up grins appeared over their mouths; Toby bounced on his heels while Juliette nodded vigorously.
“I’ll deal with him when they get back,” she responded with an assuring thumbs-up.
“Alright, go get everyone’s orders, and then they can leave at lunch.”
They skittered off to each and every crew member in that building, stopped before the dressing rooms and collected as many as they could to keep their project busy. It was with a devious exchange of laughter that they separately knocked on their wards’ doors.
“I cannot believe him.”
It was a mystery how Mark resisted yelling the second they were sent off. You had half the mind to ask him, but that would surely prompt outraged responses.
Instead, you busied yourself with wrapping your coat further around you. Although it had been sunny the day before, the weather took a turn for the worst. A dangerous chill blanketed the city, cooling water and making breath look a fine mist.
“Well,” you started, making your way carefully down the path, “moaning about it won’t get us back inside.”
“But we’re the heroes of this whole thing, who gave him the right to give us chores?” You couldn’t tell which word held more venom, ‘chores’ or ‘us’. You might’ve said something about him being a baby the day before, but it didn’t seem as appealing to you now.
Also, to be fair, you weren’t overly thrilled to be getting coffee, either. You should’ve been running lines or actually enjoying your lunch break, not trying to keep balanced on icy concrete.
Moving your arms barely outwards to stay upright, you replied, “Considering that Mr. Patton’s the director, probably himself.”
You latched onto any supporting thing you could find: a bike rack, a lamppost, once a tree that you didn’t realize was mostly made of leaves and you almost toppled over forwards because of. Luckily, Mark was at your side in an instant, pulling you backwards and gripping onto a wall to stable himself.
You thanked him, before wondering aloud, “And are we really heroes?”
Mark scoffed, not as annoyed as he used to be, “Of course, we are. What else would we be?”
“Protagonists.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said.”
Shaking your head, you watched the air in front of you turn to smoke. You liked colder days, but not when they threatened to knock you on your ass in front of the whole street. “But protagonists aren’t always heroes,” you replied, trying to stay focused on your walking, “just the people the camera is following, and even then, it can change.”
“We save the universe,” Mark responded. You glanced to your left, noticing that he was walking completely normally, as if the slippery ice melted right under his boots.
“From a mess we created.”
“So?” He brought a hand from his pocket, gripping your upper arm just tight enough to stop your inevitable keeling over. You hoped you could play the redness that rose in your cheeks off as the cold. “We still save it; we could’ve just let it crash and burn.”
“You’d feel bad, though, right?”
“Depends. Do I care about the people on board?”
After thinking it through for a second, you nodded. “Yeah, you’ve worked with them for ages, and it’s your ship.”
“If I built the first one, I could build another,” Mark stated, like it was obvious. You’d always had a problem with getting attached to inanimate objects – still living with Mark, when your coffee machine had broken, he had to comfort you for a solid day before you could buy another one.
But Mark didn’t think that way, so you tried a different approach. “Then what about the people?”
Silence.
You turned your head, for a moment sacrificing possible embarrassment, to see him mulling it over in his head. He hummed and tutted for a few seconds, enough time for you to ask, “You’re not seriously thinking about it?”
Mark huffed, his shoulders dropping, and head bowed. “It’s a lot to go through,” he admitted, “Wormholes, problems, dying over and over again – I’d only do it if I really cared about them.”
“What about me?” You didn’t catch his dip in eyebrows, a clear sign that he was back to thinking, while you turned a corner. “I’ve gone through the same stuff, and I’m still trying to save the crew.”
“I didn’t know you were with me.” He squinted and then sighed. “Well, if that’s the case, then, of course.”
Something stirred in your gut as those words met your ears. They weren’t honeyed or mocking, Mark spoke like what he said was obvious, like he couldn’t have said anything different. For a moment, it crossed your mind that he didn’t hate you, but there was so much evidence to go against that – and yet you wanted to believe the former side of you.
Trying to keep the interest out of your voice, you asked, “Why ‘of course’?”
“I wouldn’t be alone.”
A frown forced itself over your mouth. Was he really that scared of being alone that he would give up his own life? It left a bad taste in your mouth, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what you did. You had left him, alone in that big, old house.
“So,” you swallowed, “the problem isn’t the wormholes, it’s the loneliness.”
The café appeared in front of you before you had noticed you were on the same block. It was a cute thing, pastel blue and pink decorating the umbrellas, but nobody was sitting outside on that day. Everyone was safe and snug in the warmth, and, lucky for you, that was only two or three people, not counting the staff who waited patient and bored at the counter. You’d surely be here for a while with how many orders you had to place, so you were glad you wouldn’t be holding anyone up.
Mark stepped forward and held open the door, replying carelessly, “I think I’d be able to go through the different universes, but I wouldn’t be able to survive rebuilding the warp core.”
One foot through, you stopped. “At that point, you’re saving yourself, though.”
You moved on to order, about half of them being plain, black coffees and a third the most complicated requests that you were pretty sure were just jokes. In the end, you just passed them the notepad with all of them on it to the barristers. Fatigue waved over them when they saw the second page, so you slipped then a twenty for their troubles.
It was then that you noticed Mark hadn’t replied, despite him standing directly next to you with his lips sealed tight. You risked a glance and saw him thinking intently. They were hypothetical scenarios, ones you’d never have to deal with, but he sure was putting all of his effort into them.
This muted state lasted until you were back out the door again, a good 15 minutes later, and a bad feeling settled in your stomach. Had you messed everything up? You weren’t sure what you had done, but it must’ve been something to get the guy infamous for running his mouth to shut it down completely. Frigid air not the only thing making you shiver; you decided to offer up another comment.
“I don’t think I could do it.”
He hummed back absentmindedly, still caught in the whirlwind of his thoughts.
“Go through it over and over,” you explained, now back to keeping balance, “I think… I think I would try, but I’d end up cracking eventually. I’d feel guilty, but not being able to get out of it would kill me.”
And it was back to the silence. The swish of tree leaves overhead calmed your nerves, but the steady tap of shoes and the studio lot appearing in the distance brought them back up. You had enjoyed this little break, albeit unnerving at the end, and you feared it would revert entirely. The both of you would go back to swapping insults and being rude, like children on a playground.
But you were allowed a breath of relief seconds before you arrived back at the set.
“Where do you think you would end up?” Mark asked, jostling cups in his hands to open the door.
You felt the warmth of a climate-controlled building swarm around your legs, and you basked in it as you answered, “I’d stop with Miss Whitacre. She seems nice and the void could be comforting after not taking a break for so long. Plus, Pam is really cool.”
In fact, Pam was the last person who you delivered a coffee to. Really, she was more of a tea girl, but you thought the barrister would kill you if you switched it up at the last second. She was grateful, and you moved back to your dressing room for a few minutes of lunch.
From across the room, Juliette’s eyes widened. Not from a realization, but from fear. She had watched Mark stalk around the room, not as confident or cocky as he was before you had left, and now, there he was, a lost soul floating around the set.
“Oh, God, something must’ve happened,” she hissed to Toby.
His shoulders collapsed in disappointment, but he still replied reassuringly, “We don’t know that.”
It didn’t do much to settle her panic. “Have you ever seen Mark so… not dramatic?”
The actor was creepily blunt with everything he was doing, the flair sapped out of him just like that. No comments, no arguments. The assistants watched Mr. Patton approach him and he almost numbly accepted whatever decision he had made.
“It’s only our second day,” Toby muttered, despite him knowing that it was odd.
“Yeah, exactly.”
He swirled the cup of coffee around, wishing to find an answer in the dark, steaming mass. It came up blank, which led him to wonder simply, “How about we ask them?”
“And get us caught?” Juliette gasped, “No thanks, I’d rather be friendly towards the guy I’ll be working with for the next few months.” Toby looked away, somewhat surprised and somewhat having expected her to be so outraged at his suggestion. “What if our efforts have been for nothing? All those hours slaving away at getting them together, and for what? For all our hard work to be thrown away.”
“Again, second day, and we bought them takeout.”
Julie planted her hands on her colleague’s shoulders, drawing him out of staring into his coffee. Her own sat idly by on the table beside them, ignored in favor of her meeting his eyes. “We have to take drastic measures,” she warned.
Instantly, Toby practically deflated. He was over getting them to be nice together, he just wanted to go back to work and get paid, and this was detrimental to that very idea. Weakly, he replied, “Seriously? And you don’t think we’ll be fired for that?”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
She hadn’t left any room for discussion; the metal plating that decorated the set bent underneath her moving body, at a faster rate than Toby could keep up with. Sighing, he tried his hardest, but not without complaint.
“Get a job as an actor’s assistant, they said—” Juliette swung open a door, “—it’ll be fixing makeup and getting drinks, they said—” He trailed behind her down a hallway, “—nobody said I’d be meddling in their personal lives and possibly committing crimes!”
His friend – for, he believed, not much longer – only skidded to a halt when they arrived at a door clearly marked maintenance, which they were not. Juliette acted like she hadn’t seen it, though, and pushed with some force against the heavy-duty iron. She huffed and gestured for Toby to help, before offhandedly replying, “You wouldn’t have taken the job otherwise.”
“You say that like this is normal.”
The door gave way to dust particles floating around the air, a flimsy light hanging above them, and a dingy staircase that led into something unknown. At least, to Toby because Julie neglected to tell him what her plan was, so he was along for the ride.
The very woman was already marching down steps, skipping a couple and disappearing entirely into the blackness below.
Toby keeled back. “Juliette, is this normal?” he called, gripping the banister like he would die if he let go. She didn’t answer.
“Juliette!?”
He ran down in a panic.
When his feet made contact with stable ground, a cold concrete that he felt through the leather of his shoes, he saw an entire wall of switches and wires and buttons. Most were unhelpfully unlabeled, but they were separated into categories that meant with a fine amount of trial and error, they could figure out what they needed.
You had just wrapped up a scene, one of your favorites that was scheduled for that week. You figured it would look better after edits, since the colors were supposed to be regressed to black and white, but you still enjoyed the vibe of the piece. Currently, you were heading up to the recording booths to finish off the voiceovers, and then you’d be home bound until the next day.
The elevator dinged as it came slowly to a stop, allowing you to get in and press the button for the fifth floor. It was a tall building, but it also held a lot of storage rooms and editing offices the rest of the company used.
Doors sliding closed, you sighed and leaned back against the mirror. A stressful day deserved a moment of calm sprinkled somewhere inside, and this short break would have to do. A minute to yourself, to think, to breath.
“Wait!”
Your eyes shot open, and you lunged to press your foot between the shutters. Luckily, they stopped short of crushing you, and, in the inches of space, you saw Mark running to catch up to you. Really, it was more of a fastened jog, but it was more than you had ever seen him do.
He muttered a ‘thank you’ when he was safely inside. You nodded back.
You weren’t entirely sure what you were meant to say at a time like this. Could you pick up your last conversation, or did you have to choose a new subject? Or, even worse, were you supposed to wait in silence until your floor came?
You settled for making idle small talk. “Um, nice work in the noir,” you spoke softly.
Mark looked startled for a second, until he recovered and replied, “Yeah, it was weird to constantly be squinting, but you did well, too.”
“Thanks.”
A comment about the costumes was about to leave your mouth, but another question in your mind caught your attention. Thinking back to when you had distributed the coffees, both of your assistants had been shifty. The same look on their faces as when you had interacted after dinner. You figured that it could have just been a coincidence, though it wouldn’t hurt to ask Mark if he had seen anything similar.
“Has Juliette been acting weird lately?”
He tilted his head and looked confused at you, a question evident in his eyes that he bypassed by saying, “Not that I’m aware, we’ve only been working together for a couple of days.”
It made sense that they could just be like that in general, but something was off. No mannerisms – Juliette’s nor Toby’s – indicated they would be suspicious. You bit the inside of your cheek in thought.
“Yeah, I know, just…” you trailed off, considering your phrasing, “when we finished dinner last night, Toby was being strange.”
“How so?”
“It looked like he wanted to ask a question, or he wanted me to tell him about something, but he never did, and then he told me that you and Juliette spoke about our relationship.”
Automatically, the air flexed and bent under the strain of awkwardness. You tried to fight off regret for bringing it up; it was bound to happen sooner or later, and you had surmised to get it over with before everything boiled over.
It seemed it was already too late – if how he spat, “We did,” was anything to go by.
Reminding yourself that it didn’t matter, you replied, “Toby and I did, too.”
“Nice to know.”
The silence was killing you, it kept coming back like waves lapping at a shore, except it did more than get your feet wet. It delivered guilt and tension and a mood too rigid to fit inside that confining box comfortably. It was either now or never, but you didn’t like either of those options. Go back and change what had happened would be preferable, but you didn’t get that choice. You had to deal with the here and now, however much your heartbeat sped up or your breathing shook.
Closing your eyes and hoping for the best, you said, “Look, I just wanted to know if you’d be open to talking about it?”
“What is there to talk about?” he snapped back. That bad feeling deepened into a pit of despair, but you wouldn’t be put off that easily. He should’ve known by then that you weren’t going to go down without a fight.
“A lot. We hadn’t had an actual conversation in a year before this movie.”
Mark pushed back against the mirror, causing the elevator to shudder under the pressure. “And we got on fine without one.”
On the bright side, he had apparently grown from being a child to a moody teenager.
“But now we’re working together, and it’d be nice to, y’know, be normal again.” It wasn’t meant to sound like a question, but it definitely came out like one.
“So far,” Mark stressed, “I’ve been operating on the idea that we won’t see each other again after we finish these shoots.”
He was slowly but surely breaking down your will to argue. Sure, you wanted to get along, but he was being so resistant to the mere idea that you questioned if it was worth it. He pushed for an end to the conversation, you wanted to continue it, and that left the both of you at a standstill.
“It’ll be a long three months,” you offered.
“I’m willing to wait it out.”
Normally, you were level-headed. Normally, you focused on one thing and stayed focused. Normally,you were able to calm yourself down within a few minutes, distance yourself from the problem, and relax.
It was not normal to be waiting in an elevator with your famous ex because you’re shooting an action movie together where you had to pretend to care for each other.
So, you couldn’t relax, and you burst out of the gates with, “Well, I’m not!”
Mark flinched, though his stare stayed trained on the doors.
Not caring that he was ignoring you, you continued, “Mark, I’ve liked talking to you recently – I enjoyed our dinner and our walk to the café, and I think I’d like to be on speaking terms with you again.”
It set you off even further when he laughed. Mark laughed, some super-villain chuckle that belonged more to an insane man that it did him. “What, so you can manipulate me?”
“Mark.”
“Save it—” he rolled his eyes and crossed one arm over the other, a poor attempt to comfort himself that you didn’t bother to consider, “—I know what you’re like, and I don’t believe that you’ve changed, so it’s either this business thing or nothing.”
“But that’s exactly it, I haven’t changed because I was never like that in the first place!”
Another pitiful chuckle. You felt the sentiments from the first day with him blend together with new ones; you wanted to repair your relationship, but a spiteful, immature part of you wanted to throw every insult under the sun at him and see what sticks. Like a baby.
Of course, you clenched your teeth and listened to him say, “I don’t know how we could talk about us if you aren’t willing to admit what you’ve done.”
“That’s exactly why I want to talk, to sort all of this out.” At this point, you were pleading, one step away from getting on your knees and begging him to just listen to you. Your pride would never allow it, only giving you the reigns to let anything spill out of your mouth that would convince him.
Mark only sighed. His head shook the glass as it slammed back into it. “What aren’t you getting?” he hissed, “I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to leave it all behind and get on with my life.”
You stood still for a minute, thinking through it all. You didn’t move, Mark didn’t move, and, although you tried to will it into existence, the doors didn’t move. There was only one thing for it, then…
“Look me in the eye right now and tell me honestly that you’ve hated every second you’ve spent with me in the last two days.”
To you, it was a simple request with big consequences; if he were able to, you wouldn’t continue a conversation. In fact, you would probably leave everything there, come in only when you were requested and spend all the other time in your dressing room.
However, to Mark, everything came crashing down around him. He didn’t know what to do. His pulse raced. His breath caught in his throat. What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to say that this had been the best shoot of his entire career – seeing you again, as kind and calm and witty as you were the first time that he had met you, spending time with you like how you used to, the sense of pure joy and completion that breached his soul – or was he supposed to lie? He didn’t know which he would prefer. After all, you had wanted to talk, but what if that was to just clear the air and get you back to square one? Too many unsure and incomplete scenarios waved over his mind for him to do anything but lie.
So, just barely managing to make eye contact as you had ordered, he parroted your words bluntly and definitively. “I have hated every second I have spent with you in the last two days.”
And it broke his heart.
You nodded, choking yourself on the tears and hoping to anybody that was listening that they didn’t pour out. “Okay, then,” you whispered.
Mark shifted his gaze back to the doors in front of you, tried his hardest to keep them from wandering back to the crestfallen look on your face. It wouldn’t do him any good, but every movement, however minor, that you made, it became ever the more difficult to stop himself. He only got so far by focusing his attention on the digital numbers that showed the floor number. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Except the screen wasn’t following his count, and it hadn’t been for the last two floors – or, rather, the last two floors that they should have passed.
Exactly four and a half floors under the elevator, in the basement of the studio, were two people. And they were panicking.
“Oh, my God, what did you do!?”
Juliette practically strangled any excess electricity out of the wires she held, yelling back to Toby, “I don’t know!”
“Well, put them back!”
“I don’t know how!”
The boy snatched them from Julie’s hands and held them naively to the wall. Being an assistant usually didn’t require any mechanical knowledge, so he was shocked to find that it didn’t sync up the moment they touched the circuits.
“It’s not working,” he pointed out.
Juliette might have mentioned his lack of common sense, but she had also ripped the wires right out of the box just seconds before. She settled for panicking more. “We’re gonna lose our jobs, we’re gonna get arrested.”
“I told you!”
But their day got even worse as their freaking out was overthrown by the clicking of familiar and intent shoes. Their faces paled and they debated whether it was better to book it or stay right there and wait for unemployment.
They were forced into the latter when Mr. Patton rounded the corner and inspected the room.
“What is going on in here?” he asked, squinting from the change in lighting. “We’re back up in five, and you two are here fiddling with the breaker box.”
He moved closer, to which the assistants responded by stepping forward and blocking their mistake. It didn’t work, based on how Patton’s squinted eyes quickly changed from a reaction to utterly skeptical of them.
“Okay,” Toby started, hand out as if to calm him how you would a wild animal, “sir, don’t be mad.”
“What did you do?”
One look, and he repeated the question, much more exasperated and worried than he had the first time. “What did you do?!”
Toby caved faster than an unstable mountain in earthquake season, though his words came out little more than a garbled mess. “Juliette tried to get the elevator to stop between floors so they’d be stuck and have to talk to each other about their relationship, but she didn’t know how so she ripped out all the wires and now we can’t get them back and we’re pretty sure they’re stuck in the elevator with no way to get them out, we’re so sorry, please don’t fire us.”
Patton exhaled shakily, before asking with as much calm as he could muster, “Toby, who are you talking about?”
He didn’t need more than an embarrassed look to realize who ‘they’ were.
“You’re idiots.”
They nodded with varying degrees of responsibility.
“We know, sir, and we’re so sorry for meddling in their personal lives."
“It’s not me who you should be apologizing to—” He guided them back to the hallway, ready to send them on their way, “—but you’re not fired. At least, not if we can get them out of there. Those two were going to be a pain to deal with if they didn’t get on better terms, and I have you to thank for getting them to play nice.”
They each exhaled with relief, having thought they were screwed the second he had entered the room.
He wasn’t done yet, though, and he dropped them in the doorway. “However, please, if you’re going to mess with people’s relationships, don’t make it our main stars, and don’t do it on company time.” It was slightly concerning that he cared more for that mistake than those exact stars being dangled three floors in the air. “You’re lucky you’re with me – go on, get them some water or something, they’ll be shaken when they get out.”
“Right, sir, thank you, sir,” Toby muttered. He gripped Juliette’s arm and tugged her back towards the staircase. Patton shook his head, feeling as though he had been dealing with unruly toddlers, but he still laughed when he heard a distant, “Leave the wires!” and the flop of equipment at the door.
Finally, by himself, he glanced back at the mess they had made of the breaker box and sighed. “We’re going to get so sued.”
It didn’t take long for you to realize what had happened. With the elevator stuck in whatever position it was, you could only pass the time in silence. What’s worse was it was getting stuffy, so you had to remove your jacket in such an awkward manner that had you nearly squirming. Why did that have to happen after you completely destroyed any chance of getting back to how you used to be? Did a god hate you? Had you offended some cosmic power so much that they decided, hey, let’s completely fuck you over on this one particular day? You didn’t know and you were over trying to work around the silence that infested the elevator.
That left Mark to be the only one to ask, “How long do you think it’s going to take?”
“I don’t know,” you responded bluntly, “an hour maybe?”
He slid down the wall, coming to the same level that you were currently sat at. Your eyes would have met had you been looking up – instead, you stared intently at your hands.
“Fuck.”
You didn’t give him an audible response to that, you didn’t feel like you had to, just a vague nod. The new principle you had come up with in the last thirty minutes wasn’t something you were happy with, but it was better than annoying him more and making your days just as miserable as you had expected them to be.
Just like before, Mark was thinking differently, and he scoffed to say, “I don’t see why you’re complaining, isn’t this what you wanted? Us to talk?”
Ignoring the fact that you only agreed with him, you answered, “I wanted it to be on our own terms, not locked in an elevator. You said you didn’t want to have a conversation, so we won’t.”
“Stop doing that.”
You managed to bring your head up ever so slightly. Mark wasn’t looking at you, he couldn’t bring himself to, but there was definitely a look of conflict fixed starkly on his face. A confused noise fell to the silence.
He explained, “You’re being nice and then I can’t fight back without seeming like an asshole.”
This time, you laughed through your nose. He didn’t react but he noticed it. The sound didn’t fit right, like a different person had replaced you. He wanted that boisterous laugh, or none at all, but he was left with the small chuckle to deepen his frown.
“Would you rather me be mean to you?” you asked.
“Yes.”
You couldn’t be held liable for what you were about to say, then, if he had asked for it. “Fine,” you sighed, half upset that it came down to him requesting you to be rude, “I think you’re being childish and ignoring a problem that could be easily solved if you just agreed to confront it.”
You both knew you could do worse, and Mark was split on whether he would have appreciated a harsher tone than the one you supplied him with. Either way, he was glad that you listened to him, allowing him to reply, “Not until you admit what you did.”
“And that’s another thing, you won’t tell me what I did for me to explain it.”
Shoving his reservations to the side, Mark’s upper half darted forward away from the wall and towards you, as if getting closer would get the message across better. “You do the same thing. Yesterday, you didn’t tell me what was wrong and then stormed off.”
You granted him that, you hadn’t given him much to go off of, but it was still insulting that he had forgotten so easily – but also you supposed that was what he was feeling, too. “Okay, tell me, now,” you ordered softly.
Mark fumbled for a second, not actually having expected you to say anything. Instantly, regret swarmed him, begging him to just stay quiet, but he couldn’t. He refused to because, and it was near painful to acknowledge, he did want to talk about it, or, more accurately, he wanted to rant to you about what had happened. Everything would be out in the open, then, and he wouldn’t have to walk on eggshells every time he thought that maybe, just maybe, he liked talking to you. Only, he had dug himself into such a deep pit that he could barely remember what the sun looked like.
“I know you cheated on me.”
As much as he wanted to slap a hand over his mouth and never speak again, the pot was already boiling over, every word possible ready to spill out the second the lid was lifted.
That was done with a simple, “What? When?”
“June 12th—” Just shut up, “—I came home from the last shoot, and I heard you talking on the phone to someone about sharing a bed—” Really, shut up, “—and telling them that you loved them—” You’re an idiot, Mark, “—I was able to figure it out from there.”
The elevator went quiet, because of course it did, he had just confronted you about something in the making for a year. If he could, Mark would’ve reached out and caught the story that fell, brought it back inside and left it to stew for a couple more months.
But he couldn’t, and he didn’t, and you were left with your mouth wide open. Throwing possible replies around in your mind, your first reaction, involuntary and primal, was to mumble, “Mark, why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
The two of you were stripped down to bare bones, now. No words nor actions required manual thought, everything playing fast and loose with the rules and social norms.
“I… I didn’t want to embarrass you.” You both knew it was a lie, and the imploring look you sent had him amending, “I didn’t want to end it. I thought that if I just ignored it,” he took a deep breath, calming himself, “you would come back to me. And that didn’t happen.”
Suspended 20 feet in the air and unsure of when you’d be free, everything was on the table. Mocking, arguing, reconciling.
Even pure, unadulterated laughter.
And that was what happened when a beat had passed, a break in the music that had you nearly tearing up with amusement. You fanned yourself and tried to calm down, but that sentence kept repeating over and over. Having spent years in the same house as Mark, you knew his thought processes and his movements, but you seemed to have forgotten how much of a dumbass he could be sometimes.
Including right now, when he scowled and shuffled further to the side, away from you, and huddled into the corner. You almost felt bad, with how he was subtly trying to hide, like a dog having been found ripping up a shirt.
Numbly, hoping that his words would cover up the tears constricting his throat, he muttered, “Well, I’m sorry for wanting to continue that relationship, then.”
“No, no, I’m sorry,” you cut him off with another chuckle. You finally found cause to relax against the cold metal of that box, and you crossed your ankles over one another. “Mark, I wasn’t cheating on you.”
His jaw dropped – not because it was some sudden realization, but because he truly believed you were still lying. This was a step for you, a leap into gaslighting he hadn’t thought you’d make. He bit his lip to maintain his defense against tearing up before spitting, “Still? You’re still denying it?”
“No, well, yeah, I am,” you explained, “because I wasn’t talking to who you think I was talking to.”
“Then, who was it?” What were you going to make up now? A contractor for a private project, a co-star who you just couldn’t be cheating with behind his back. He was ready for it all, bring it on, you horrible liar.
“It was my brother.”
Ah.
Now.
That was actually possible.
Mark’s mouth flopped like a dying fish. “What. Michael. What, no, wait—” He continued to splutter and every failed attempt at a word made your smile grow a few centimeters more.
“He was going to be in town for a week, and I said he could stay in one of our guest rooms. He said about not liking the artificial style of them, so I joked that we could sleep in the same bed, like how we used to when we were kids.”
The wall disappeared from behind him, the floor fell, and those bright, artificial lights snuffed. Time itself froze and there was the odd feeling of being tugged away from the whole world. It was a tough pill to swallow, to realize that a relationship, a person, who you had devoted nearly all of your life to had broken apart in a matter of minutes because of simple miscommunication. Mark wanted to slam his head through the mirror.
Getting his bearings, he stumbled out, “But… why didn’t you tell me?"
You shrugged. “You weren’t there to tell. I knew how much that movie meant to you, I didn’t want you to have to fuss over something you wouldn’t even be affected by.”
Although he hated to admit it, Mark started to backpedal; if you really were just talking to Michael, then that meant… that it was his fault that you broke up with him.
He grasped at straws, pointing out with unsteady breaths, “He didn’t come, though.”
Shaking your head, you were slightly confused. “Of course not. I saw that interview and I immediately broke it off. Mike stayed at home, and I left to stay with him.”
No, no, no.
Meekly, hoping that you weren’t talking about what he thought you were talking about, he brought his head up to meet your gaze. Oh, you were confused, but you had that stupid half-smile on your face anyway. Why did you have to be like that? Why did he have to choose you, of all people?
“Which interview?” he asked.
“The one for that action, actually. Where the guy asked about us and you spilled everything.” That smile was still there, but that look in your eyes, the glint of joy added just for a second, was replaced by distance. It was as if he went from being up close and personal with a blazing star to staring up at it from Earth. You kept going, though, “You said how I distanced you from your friends and ignored you all the time, and how I probably cheated on you.”
Well, it explained that part, huh? Your head bobbed up and down, enough time between for Mark to slide closer to you across the frigid floor, not that you noticed until he was sidling up beside you.
“Well, that last one, I thought was true… but you’re right, I did say that. Didn’t I?”
Lazily, you nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
Reality caught up to you, and your head snapped to look at him. Now he was the one who looked distant, as if nothing he felt really clicked with him. Neither of you were thinking, and you supposed that Mark just didn’t feel like doing anything.
Different for you – it always was – and your instinct had you wrapping your arms around his waist before your brain could have any input. The points of contact went as fuzzy as static, and the feeling quickly spread like a wildfire up your arms and into your chest. It was overwhelming, but not harmful – it more resembled being pressured by a weighted blanket, comfortable and gentle. You even felt the temptation to laugh swell in your heart.
Mark didn’t respond, not for the first few seconds, but he gave in to a little, childlike giggle before encasing you in his own arms. Protectively, he squeezed, as if the chill of the elevator was something he could fight away from you.
In reality, it was him checking that you were actually there, hugging him without hesitation or worry. He had to check for fear that the elevator had collapsed, and you had actually died in the crash. But you hadn’t, he was sure of it as he felt the heat radiating from you. A blush ghosted over his cheeks, and he pulled you impossibly closer. It had been a year and yet you smelled exactly the same as you had the last time you had been so close. He suddenly became aware of how much he had missed this; you being pressed against him, his head resting on your shoulder, the stability that came with it all.
You were the first to pull back, though it was only a few inches, and you still held your hands on his upper arms.
Despite that, Mark was the first to speak. Almost jokingly, he whispered, “Sometimes I wonder what you saw in me.”
Your grip tightened in shock, but you manually loosened it to bring your hands to cradle his cheeks. It was a sweet gesture, guiding him to look at you and decorating his face in a small blush.
“So much,” you replied forcibly, “I saw a man who knew what he wanted and would go for it – I saw a man who was devoted to projects and relationships and was able to prioritize. You were ambitious and loving and brave. And you still are.”
While one hand of his own swam up to caress yours, stabilize himself throughout your words, he tried his best to look away. “I put my work before you.”
“And I think you were right to do that. I was working, you were working, we had separate lives and things we cared about, but we still ended the day together in the same house after everything was said and done.”
A squeeze, a smile, a chuckle. “I shouldn’t have said all those things, though, they weren’t true.”
He was right, and both of you were aware. “No, you shouldn’t have,” you admitted, but your hand and eyes stayed right where they were, “but I should’ve told you what was going to happen under your roof.”
“It was your roof, too.”
And there it was. Everything was out in the open, and it wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be. Of course, getting there was horrendous, but everything had turned out fine. Better than fine, actually, because neither of you were weeping and neither of you were dead. Getting trapped in an elevator was a surprise, though. You briefly wondered what was happening outside of your metal bubble – and you decided, quickly, that it didn’t matter. If it took days for them to even notice, then so be it. You were comfortable, finally feeling complete and stable after so long on the edge. They always said that you didn’t know what you had until it was gone, and not having Mark to return to at the end of the day was as bad as branding yourself when you came home to an empty apartment.
“Hey, what’s that?”
Having adjusted into a more comfortable position, your back against the wall and your legs stretched out in front of you, your costume had ridden up to show your ankle. Lightly, you laughed at yourself, imaging a Victorian crowd going absolutely ape shit, but then you remembered that a little picture was also exposed to Mark’s view.
You dragged your knee up to your chest, and, after bringing your pant leg up a few more inches, you said, “Moving out wasn’t the only thing I did when we broke up.”
You remembered getting that tattoo surprisingly fondly, for the state you were in when you chose it. A little pumpkin, cute without context, but exciting for people who did know where it came from. Michael Myers’ pumpkin, with the sections that were meant to be lit up shaded in instead. A lot of people had trouble seeing Michael in the intros, so you made sure to request it be obvious.
“Why a pumpkin?” Mark asked, drawing a finger over it. A slight chill shot through your veins.
“It’s from Halloween.”
“Okay, but why is it a pumpkin?”
Mark was a dumbass, but he was your dumbass.
“No, you dolt,” you insulted softly, “the movie Halloween. Michael Myers.”
He rolled his eyes but there was obviously no intent to be mean about it. “How would I know that?”
“It was the first horror movie I ever showed you,” you responded, before rolling it back down. The bottom few bumps of the pumpkin still peaked out from below the fabric.
“Exactly,” he huffed, “it was so long ago, how would I ever remember it?”
Shaking your head, you were happy with how this turned out. It was a mess coming into it, sure, but it was good to be able to talk about what happened after you broke up without your heart panging every time you opened your mouth.
“Didn’t it hurt?”
“Nah, I got used to needles after the third one I got.”
“You have more?”
“Actually…” you trailed off. Instead of just giving him a vague idea, you brought your shirt up and over your head, shocking him for just a moment with the question of what in the hell you were doing. When you had twisted around to give him an easier sight of your back, those brown eyes blew wide with awe and recognition.
Decals littered your back, like the spread of a shotgun. You had spent so long looking at them that you had memorized where each and every one was located, so when Mark caressed a certain tattoo, you were able to explain the stories behind them, after recovering from the shivers. A cassette tape labelled ‘play me’ in the centre of your spine, a carved-out puzzle piece that inched onto your shoulder, and a miniature dragon shaded spectacularly by your artist were the main ones that you talked about. Nearly all of those tattoos were horror-based, down to the dragon’s teeth being visibly sharp, except for one.
Mark’s fingertips ghosted gently over your side, bringing you to almost flinch away. You stayed put though, long enough for him to wonder, “A round chicken?”
“I played a lot of Stardew Valley in my free time.”
He backed away, giving you space to put your shirt back on. After it was over your head, you turned to look at Mark. Sure enough, the crimson blush had increased ten-fold, and you found yourself smirking a little bit wider. He would have thrown something at you if there had been something to throw.
“What’d you do after we went our separate ways?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest. It was getting cold, but no way in hell would you put that death-trap of a jacket back on.
“Now, that is a question,” he trailed off awkwardly.
“Sure is.”
He glanced around the elevator, the impression that he would get an answer if he just looked hard enough settling in his mind. When he found no such thing, he sighed and glanced back to you. “Really, I can’t remember. I guess, I just waited for a new script, learned it and then… kept going. I hadn’t imagined a life without you, and when I was living that life, I couldn’t stop imagining one with you again.”
Huh. You hadn’t thought of that. You could remember the first couple of days like watching them in a theater, but you supposed it was only because you hadn’t fully processed it yet. You spent most of your time trying to find a job, then worked at that job, then got more tattoos, rinse, and repeat. And when you finally understood that you were no longer dating, enough time had passed for you to distance yourself.
“And what did that look like?”
He was quick on the draw this time. “Everything that we used to do – except I actually took more steps forward than back.”
Curiosity overtook you, forcing the question, “So, now that I’m back, what are you going to do?” out of your mouth nearly without your permission. You wanted to ask it; it had been knocking at the back of your mind like an unwelcome houseguest since you had admitted everything. It was better this way; you would’ve surely regretted not saying anything when you got out of there.
“Make up for lost time.”
Especially when, just as the words came forward into the open air, so, too, did Mark. The impact of his lips on yours was small, gentle, nothing more than a bee landing on a flower – but your mind celebrated. It shot off fireworks and turned on the lights, as if it had gone through the year in a darkened cave. Your gut joined the party, flipping, twirling, dancing along to the quickening pace of your heart. The grip you had before on his arms returned with fervor, and you squeezed excitedly, while his hand carded delicately through your hair. A slight pressure on your waist and you deepened the kiss. Barely a sound passed through your joined lips, but the surprised air played on Mark’s like it was the first time all over again. He moved, you moved, you tilted your head one way, and he the other. Perfect tandem, a perfect kiss. You traced his mouth and found everything to be just as you remembered – the ever-present artificial feel of lipstick, the plush skin buried underneath, the warmth that radiated from it no matter how many layers it drowned under.
And when you pulled away to see the look on Mark’s face, you figured one more kiss wouldn’t hurt. So, you went in for another, and Mark shifted away from you after a few more seconds, only to decide, hey, you had the time.
That process continued with minimal breaks for the next minute and a half.
It wasn’t until you felt a break in the temperature that you parted for good. Or, until you could get some alone time again, because a voice called out to the two of you from the now-open elevator doors.
You swirled around on your legs, clumsily red in your face and lips swollen. Mark laughed, to which you immediately turned back around and landed another peck directly on his own. That shut him up.
“Are you two alright in there?” you heard a familiar voice yell, panicked as you had expected he would be.
You shouted back, “Yep!”
Luckily, there was enough open space above the floor that you were able to climb through when the firefighters wrenched apart the doors. One hand shot down, which you grabbed at to haul yourself up, using the remaining section of metal as a step.
Mark watched, the redness in his cheeks steadily growing before it was his turn.
Finally on stable ground, you took a test jump and decreed you were in no mortal danger. Not that you ever suspected you were, but it was always helpful to check. Then, you noticed that your hand was still wrapped around the firefighter’s who had taken you out, so you promptly dropped it and spoke a faux-confident, “Thanks, love.”
A tap on your shoulder and you turned to see Mark out, too. He looked slightly unimpressed, but you just winked at him and leaned across to give him another, more assuring, kiss on the cheek.
Your assistants had scurried away from the door when you were hauled up, partially to give you the space to get to your feet comfortably, and partially to escape whatever punishment you would have for them, if you had figured out what had really gone wrong with the elevator. With the way you looked at them, they were able to let out separate sighs of relief. You didn’t know.
“Juliette!”
Mark, however, sounded absolutely pissed.
“Good luck,” Toby joked, happy that she was getting some cosmic karma for it being her plan in the first place. Plus, it wasn’t as if he had to face any consequences for being an accomplice, not that he thought, anyway, since you had yet to connect the dots.
You stepped closer and closer, stalked closer and closer, until you were barely a foot’s length away from him. It seemed Toby had forgotten that this was a studio, you were an actor, and, by God, were you good at what you did.
“Toby,” you spoke simply.
One second. Two.
Juliette attacked Toby’s arm with a vice grip that rivalled a boa constrictor, likely cutting off some blood flow. Your grin was murderous, Mark’s eyes flooded with anger, and they were the objects of those sentiments.
They had the good sense to run before they could be drawn and quartered.
Neither of you ran after them – you’d be seeing them the next day for shoots, after all – and you took the break alone to share another kiss. After so long spent apart, you were owed some time together. Preferably at home, resting snug on the couch and watching a stream of Love Actually, and not in full view of the director and his assistant, who exchanged a wad of cash for Patton’s celebratory whoop.
#theknightmarket#markiplier#who killed markiplier#markiplier egos#actor mark#asshole mark#wkm#longreads#two-parter#fanfiction#writing#actor#markiplier egos x reader#I still hate him#angst/comfort
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