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#doesnt make it less annoying though
anissapierce · 1 year
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You dont have to watch them but it is so funny to see ppl act like a network horror tv show is the most subversive queer art lol. Like i wouldnt even say that abt Otto up with dead people (free to watch now on Tubi)
(yes im in the wild yonder known as Tumblr tags)
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pondering-the-blorbs · 3 months
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you ever just wish your mother was a worse person so you could criticize her actions without walking on eggshells and/or feeling like you're kicking a puppy
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hecksupremechips · 19 days
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Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that
#persona#shinjiro aragaki#hes the only one i really respect here#its like so annoying though that i even care like whats wrong with me why does this bother me so much#just cuz i see myself in this character and also feel like shit and idk when he doesnt even get to live doesnt get to recover#and this is treated as a good game with a profound theme and this is treated as good writing#its hard not to be hurt when its like. im barely hanging on man#and youre telling me he can be saved by someone noticing him and caring about him and he can get through it and be loved and try to heal#but this is treated as some sorta disservice to the narrative and that you cant have the theme work this way#its like. but this is the only way i can even feel anything about this theme this actually makes me wanna try#seeing the character going through mental issues like mine die just like. it makes things suck idk#and its like why do i even care like this shouldnt matter but idk its like#if he can make it then why cant i#and im just really attached to this and i really really want to make my fic of him exist cuz. nothing is going good for me rn#but if i can make this one thing thats important to me where someone gets to recover then maybe ill feel less helpless#its what im trying to tell myself so i can stop feeling like im. idk cringe or something cuz im emotionally attached to a fictional#character and the wellbeing of this character feels like motivation for me#i just wish i wasnt so damn desperate about it 😩#anyway can someone please slap me with a fish so i can stop being insecure about my writing and just fucking do it
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anthroparian · 4 months
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i like have to play this game in small increments bc the amount of backtracking is a little mindnumbing to me but i got so excited to see a loop around . and then the girl died so i have to go redo like 20 minutes of playing .
#OP#lp#g: f&h#i refuussse.#im letting my dog sit at 1 health so i can um. get another controllable character. 😭. but not my baby#<- got ballsy enough to think i could take elite guard if i failed coin flip for save. I could Not.#hello and goodbye ragnvaldr i had you for like ten minutes.#i um. just got to as far as the catacombs. after like. i think my run is two or three hours now . and uh#that's not counting that thats just whenever i save. so#i just redid salmonsnake like five times back to back earlir bc i kept going okay i will save ^_^#Surely crow mauler wont be blocking the exit this time like he has every other time ^_^#(he is.)#i got scroll of haul ass though this is a little better bc im very speedy now#overall i feel like this game isnt too much of THE HARDEST GAME EVER 🔥🔥🔥💀💀😎😎. and more. well its just sort of tedious really#im having a lot of fun but the difficulty doesnt feel too bad its more just. annoying. again. for the backtracking. and coin flip save#like there are so little save points i dont get why its not just as it is and keeping some unsafe . As it is#like hell just make less save points for that#i guess im thinking this a bit like a souls game though. like specifically ds1. maybe fewer save points. more loops to reduce backtracking#doesnt even have to be some shit like a fast travel ig#if anything this is a little more forgiving on account of no enemy respawn#some of the boss runs in those games. good lord.#at least earlier it was like yeah its run through two zones but if i do it right i can just ignore cave gnomes and night lurk until after#idk if termina does anything qol i have to assume maybe not since this seems very fundamental to the games core#and i dont make games. what do i know. im not very good either.#my brain just feels a little melted. i gotta go take a break for a bit
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tortademaracuya · 1 year
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I have spent more years of my life feeling how I feel than not. I don't think it's ever really going away, that's just part of how I am as a person at this point, and yet I wish I knew how it felt not to at least for a few months.
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moon1ee · 4 hours
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its so sad that im the only one who understands 3l desert duo
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catgirlwizard · 1 year
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#personal#i just need to rant somewhere about how much i love my partner!!!!!#he's so sweet and supportive and its so nice being with another autistic trans person with ptsd cause theres so much less about myself that#i have to explain. even though we're different people and have different reactions and feelings and opinions theres still that commonality#like even if i love the texture of velvet and he hates it. i know what its like to feel a texture and feel like my hand is tingling and my#anxiety spike at little sensory things like that. thats just an example but its really nice having someone who is their own person but#still understands the feelings i have and i can understand his. and he's SO incredibly patient. and he's a much more literal and straight#forward person than i'm used to which is such a nice change of pace. growing up autistic there were so many situations where people said or#did one thing but meant another and i struggled to understand them and it led to getting hurt and learning to be hyperaware and overanalyze#every interaction to find out how people were upset with me to the point the littlest thing would be a travesty. but with him its so simple#he means the things he says and doesn't obfuscate or lie to me about stuff he tries to be as open and honest with me as he can and if he#doesn't explain something it's because he doesn't know how to express it not because he's hiding it. i wish i could be more like him#and im trying really hard to learn that and unlearn the tendencies i picked up in toxic situations that make communication hard for me.#he makes me really excited for the future. and he makes me feel safe and supported in a way ive never felt in any relationships before.#its nice knowing i can just be myself around him. all versions of myself and he won't be upset with me for any of them. even if maybe he#should be upset when i get bitchy. but when i start getting annoyed over little things he doesnt pick up on it which gives me time to#analyze why im upset and correct my behavior and do better and calm down instead of getting more overwhelmed and not having any way to#express it except the passive aggressive tendencies i learned throughout my childhood. and when i apologize for that he says he didnt#pick up on things and that i can't help how i feel because its a gut reaction not something i choose. and hes right but also even if i cant#choose how i feel. i can still work on how i react to feelings. and i want to keep getting better at reacting in a more constructive way.#he really honestly values me communicating with him and telling him how i feel. which is SO SO SO incredible and im so lucky to have a#partner who genuinely cares about how im feeling and wants to work with me on it and know how to help because for so long i havent been in#situations where i can express feelings so i just bottle it all up and try to deal with it on my own because people before have used me#talking about feelings as a way to twist things around and blame me for their own problems. or invalidated how i felt. or not cared.#but when i talk to him i know everything he says is genuine so even through all my trauma and paranoia i know i can trust him hes proven#himself to he honest and genuine and legitimate enough times i can trust he's not faking it thats just really the type of person he is and#its so amazing and im incredibly lucky to have someone so patient and kind and supportive in my life <3#and for the first time in a relationship i don't feel terrified of the future! i'm not constantly thinking about when he'll leave me or#when i'll leave him. or how things could go wrong between us and trying to prepare for that so i don't get hurt. i just think about all the#ways i want to build a real future together with him. and when we talk about future stuff like wanting a house even if we might never
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chisatowo · 2 years
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I love thinking abt Dodie biology worldbuilding not in the sense of fleshing out how it works realistically because it doesn't but in thinking abt how this bullshit effects her day to day life. For example, she pretty much only takes showers because she's less dense than water making baths a fucking nightmare to attempt
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satoruhour · 11 months
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racer jjk are so good 😩 i wonder if u can make a part two where is explain how the boys (gojo, geto, nanami, toji) and the reader first met. THANK YOUUU
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a/n: thx baby glad u liked them 😉 here you go! also mb if this is lacklustre guys 🧍‍♀i didn’t wanna write smut bc it’d be too similar ig. fun little post! pls still support me 🥹 (nanami’s is a bit suggestive!) / pt.1 here
✶ GOJO
you actually meet his ass when he almost crashes into u and while making a difficult drift turn before swerving at the sight of you. plus  surprise … you’re the police chief’s daughter. gojo at this point is still using a jacked up camaro, so it’s a wonder he’s able to still speed so well away from officers. but it’s not like he was running away from any crime, he just so happened to stumble across an interrogation of a fellow classmate initiated by the police chief’s son (your younger, cop worshipper brother). it was hardly an interrogation tho, more of a bully circle. gojos an cocky man but hes not entirely closed off from things happening around him. when theres people being wrongfully treated he steps in, but he’s pushing the limit a little running away from your brother and his police chief dad. especially when he’s got ties with the racing scene lol. bro doesnt exactly care tho, cause he knew the modifications he made to his engine he’s sure to get away lmaoooo.
there’s a rush of adrenaline that matches the exact moments when the first gear change happens and his foot presses down hard on the break, feeling the familiar sensation of the steering wheel under his fingers as he turns it to the right. nothing like a successful run of a difficult drift route, even more so with an annoying fucking kid chasing him. he was miles behind too, and gojo has to laugh out to himself in the driver’s seat before he yelps out at the shadow on the street.
“damn street lights. don’t even want to spend a few thousand to fix it,” he scoffs, thinking the figure would’ve apologised and ran away, but he’s a little pumped to see you, a relative of the very kid he was running away from. “don’t wanna chase me with daddy over there?”
you notice he’s nodding his head toward the incessant siren, your hotheaded father and your insufferable brother, two of them who butt heads all the time but still manage to get along. you couldn’t care less though, because of their arrogant, conceited behaviour; you vowed never to be like that. your father failed to raise you how he wanted you to turn out: dyed hair at sixteen, a stick ’n poke a year later, colluding with the “wrong” people (they were harmless, he just didn’t like them).
so he turned to your brother, corrupting his mind, and since then, you’ve been a ghost in the house, happy to even be ignored by the conservative kin that find people who are different a ’hassle’. with a story like this, gojo isn’t exactly clueless to your situation so he reaches over and opens the door to the passenger seat in a silent offer.
what’s a little salt in the wound, right?
gojo giggles when you slip in like he knew you would and you simply shrug, knowing this would seal the deal. you know you’re right when you hear furious honks from the police car which is quickly approaching, but watching gojo evade police on the news made you confident he’d outrun them every. single. time. “ooh, doesn’t sound good, princess. i’ll pick you up if you get kicked out of the house.”
it was such a dirty, rude comment that you would’ve slapped him but instead you just burst out laughing, weird noises and all before you’re patting the hand on his stick shift, “drive, hotshot.”
all you can do is roll your eyes with a smile, not missing the exhilarated smile and blush on his cheeks. you already feel at home in the 1969 camaro he’s driving, seeing the exact same car later that night when you’re waiting on the sidewalk with a bulk of your things.
“so much for being daddy’s girl.” gojo smiles, a little sickeningly that you want to punch him (you hear it’s like that from his friends and you find it to be true), but you accept the ride anyway, with a promise he’d get something more later.
✶ GETO
the first time you see him is before a race, having stumbled into the bustling underground of cars and the peak of 2000s fashion because you’re still navigating japan even after six months on an exchange program. it’s difficult when they have different parking lots for every monument building, which all look the same, mind you. it was like a puzzle for your poor mind, especially since there was tons of undocumented alleys in the area you were in. u immediately get hit by the smell of petrol and smoke and conversation and it’s like woah…. stepping entirely into a new world sort of??? even with his fame suguru stays humble tho, keeping gojo ans nanami close to him while keeping his distance from fangirls and stuff. shit gets messy !!!!
gojo nudges geto so hard he almost falls if not for his mazda behind him, and he’s ready to shoot a glare towards satoru but then he looks past the annoying man and into the crowd to find you, doe eyed and looking all around the place like a deer caught in headlights. you’re all dressed up in a cute get-up, hair framing your face so cutely he has half a mind to talk to you. plus, it’s clear you don’t belong here, and there isn’t anything wrong with that but the people here sometimes tend to be a tad bit… stuck-up.
there’s already a few in the crowd giving you weird looks and others giggling, clearly put off by the confused glances you exchange between your phone and the area. geto is prepared to head your way, but his resolve hardens when he sees todo and his gang start to approach the poor person who can only freeze in place.
geto pushes off his car immediately, completely disregarding whatever comment gojo was making while nanami watches silently. todo’s already asked you a question, and when you don’t answer, everyone knows the next thing he’ll do is to humiliate you, but not before geto interferes.
“she’s mine, aoi.” shoving him away, todo only scoffs and spits on the floor beside you because he can’t do anything except leave the place before anything escalates. it’s a clear rule, too, that anyone’s partner or significant other is off-limits, unless you want to propose a race to win them over — but even so it’s not that simple.
the murmurs only heighten when geto asks if you’re okay, a palm on your back to lead you away from the action of everything. thankfully, his mazda and the other two men are stationed at the corner, and the crowd’s attention slowly pulls away from you and onto the revving engines of the two competing cars.
“you okay?” geto looks down, shielding the bright car park lights and peeking a glance at where you were meant to go. it’s a quaint cafe in the basement of a building near shibuya square — a place which could be accessed by the parking lot, but it looks like you took an early turn and ended up in this one instead.
all you could muster up was a nod, mind going a hundred miles per hour just like those cars that were going to race; you’re more focused on his brown eyes that hold yours too well, though, dark and hypnotising that he has to repeat his question.
“yeah. for the most part, i guess. tha—” you mumble, but before you can bow and thank the man who’s already making a mark on your mind with his imposing stature, his friend chimes in.
“don’t mind aoi, he’s just intense like that.” you look past geto to see the white-haired racer who sports a bright grin, and to his side, a blonde, bored-looking guy who’s around the same age. “where you headed?”
geto waves a hand at them and cuts in as you answer, “i’ll take you. don’t mind those two idiots.” his sudden offer has your heart jumping just a bit; a mean brooding guy looking for a little cafe who’s holding a cinnamoroll event at the moment? what a sight to behold.
you’re all prepared to go when gojo tosses the keys to his mazda, and you’re thinking that maybe it really was further than expected but the man is soon leaning down to whisper into your ear.
“but before you go, want to watch me race?” geto grins, noticing that you’re at a loss for words again. you do that a lot, huh. it wouldn’t hurt to show off a little to get you absolutely speechless.
“i’ll treat you to whatever you want in that cute cafe, too.”
✶ NANAMI
ok the small drabble i wrote was sorta how they met but yes basically that!!!! nanami comes in at first (but you’re not doing much, just hanging around in the back), panicking cause he’s got an important race tmr (he just doesn’t gojo to win over whether he would have to borrow one of gojo’s dodge chargers) and hes like ? hes wondering what’s wrong with his dodge and when your dad mentions how he may need to order the parts his world falls apart fr 😭. and then he ends up borrowing it from gojo LMFAOOO. since you guys roughly know their meeting (nanami’s return to the shop after your father fixes the car and then eating you out wheeew) ill highlight life with nanami after that whole shebang!
you like to recall the first time you’ve met nanami, hardly a meeting, really, because you didn’t even see his face, but you hear his voice. a deep timbre with a seriousness to it that tells you that he could’ve fixed his own car if he tried and maybe just lacked the parts. however, you’re appalled when your father comes home later that night and tells you it was a dodge charger they were dealing with, a 1968 release that was no doubt passed down in his generation.
so when you’re peeking out of the supply room the second time nanami returns, you’re not surprised by his blonde hair, possibly a descendant of european blood, but had been born and raised in japan. it wasn’t uncommon, but it felt like he was such a specific ethnicity with the features he had. you’re right when you’re out with nanami a few weeks later, learning his grandfather was danish, smiling as he talked about his family.
it was by chance that he got into the racing scene, getting acquainted with gojo briefly because he was always infuriating in class — but then the both of them began to grow out of high school and entered university, introducing nanami to both geto, gojo’s best friend and to racing. it had made an impression on his heart immediately, reluctantly asking to ride in gojo’s car as they sped through the night and then trying his hand at it later.
“so geto-san was the one who taught you how to drift?” you ask from the passenger seat, a calm atmosphere surrounding the two of you as nanami takes you out for a casual drive along the freeway, bringing you to his favourite place to drift ever since he’s trained there. it was a clean ascent once he reaches the mountain, jogging over to open the door for you before sticking out a hand.
“thank you… kento,” you feel his hand tighten around yours, bringing you around to the front before leaning on the front of the car with you, the jangle of the bracelet he’s got you making noises when he pulls you into his side. it’s been a month with him, yet he already feels so committed, albeit stoic.
but you realise, in the midst of it, you’re the only one who can manage to pry a smile out of him, the lines on his face fading away when he picks you up from your dad’s shop. the loud engine is always an indicator, greeting him at the door of the garage as your father sends you off with a grin, leaning into the driver’s seat to press a peck through the window.
“when you say my name like that,” nanami mumbles, appreciating the scene with his lips in your hair; and while nanami is all soft and gentle with you, sometimes his carnal instincts get the best of him and he says the filthiest things, unprompted, “it makes me want to eat you out on the hood of my car again.”
you roll your eyes with a smile, because you’ve already done it twice: one in the shop and another in a secluded car park, but you know nanami hasn’t glutted his appetite for you yet, and he makes sure you know he never will.
✶ TOJI
the drabble previously mentioned how you were a little older megumi — through tutoring megumi, you met toji. it was a chance encounter sort of, u put up an ad at the end of your second year of uni since the winter break was a little longer than usual, so you decided to earn a bit of pocket money thru tutoring in the one subject you were most comfortable in: humanities. the syllabus in schools nowadays has become harder too, even going as far as to research papers and then scoff in disgust at the intensity of the questions lol … it’s routine in the school system to do that, gearing up for the questions you might be asked when u first get an enquiry call on the line. you hang up with a time and address and when u reach megumi opens the door, but toji emerges from his man cave (garage. hes obsessed w/ his corvette) later and jesus christ hes (almost) six foot of pure dilf that youre considering sidling up to him instead LMAO. esp with how the house looked, it wouldnt be so bad being a old man’s bitch
the doorbell you rang reverberates throughout the house, albeit a bit muffled, but the door opens quickly and you’re met with a black spiky-haired kid, who looks a few years younger than you. but megumi didn’t really need an introduction, because you’re pointing it out to him once inside.
“aren’t you the kid that got suspended for beating up gang members?” sometimes his seniors never knew when to shut up. to this, megumi just sighs.
“yep, that’s me. i told you my name over the phone but,” he extends a hand, “i’m fushiguro megumi.”
you hum and take his hand, introducing yourself as well before a thud makes you snap your head to the noise, where a larger and taller man emerges from the door that connects the living room to the garage. he has features similar to megumi’s and he’s currently clutching his toe, stubbing it on the cabinet on his way out and cursing his head off.
it isn’t difficult to match name to face for him as well, remembering a report you did on the increasingly popular racing scene starting up again. don’t ask — it was a pretty open assignment and you didn’t hesitate to write about the culture back then, something you always wished you lived in.
now, you’re not too taken aback by casually stumbling across fushiguro toji’s home, but more of how he managed to maintain his physique for so many years. if there’s anything your research told you, he was more on the lanky side in his twenties, the right side of his mouth clear from the scar while dominating the drifting scene back in the 80s.
“who’re you, kid?” a little annoyed at the name but you open your mouth to introduce yourself, and toji nods, although confused. it seems like he’s not too involved in megumi’s grades, because when you tell him megumi himself had called you over a bad grade in literature and social studies, his expression drops into an ‘o’. 
“ah, i would’ve taught him myself but…” you knew he dropped out of high school before, living a crap life trying to pay off debts his father had left him and turning to racing and winning bets to make a living out of it. it was scary how this information was so accessible to you via one of his interviews, but you can tell he’s put it long before him, choosing to focus on raising megumi and maintaining his corvette.
“make yourself at home, alright, doll?” doll. you stutter out an affirmative reply.
though when he said that, you hadn’t imagined wandering into the same door he had came out of before. he was probably checking on the condition of his car, knees protruding out of the corvette’s side as he rolls out on the creeper at the sound of someone approaching. you didn’t wish to do this, truly, but when some kids from megumi’s school had attempted to play a prank by picking toji’s lock to get back at megumi, the latter had discovered them after coming out the side door.
needless to say, megumi still holds up his reputation, chasing them down for more than three blocks (it was seven) before proceeding to, you assume, beat them up. you imagine it’s routine for toji at this point, but you still want to at least let him know.
“he’s off again?” toji sits up after hearing your explanation, using the wrench to scratch his temple. sure, he’s only like twenty years older than you — it certainly doesn’t stop you from checking out how his muscles bulge against his compression shirt, or the grey sweatpants he’d got on that you told yourself not to peep at. “don’t mind the kid, i’ll lecture him when he returns later.”
he sighs and grumbles under his breath, expecting you to leave, and when you don’t he just raises an eyebrow, a silent prompt for you to explain what else you needed. you only pointed to the hood. 
“uh… toji-san, if you’re keen on getting back into racing,” toji fully stands up to his height, curious on what you have to say, but also wondering how much balls you had to talk about racing in front of him, “you should really change your 283 cubic-inch V8 to a 327. i, uh, heard the specifications on the new engine has better fuel delivery and horsepower.”
toji relaxes when you actually know your crap, not wanting to deal with another annoying fan begging him to get back into racing, although you’re not entirely off the hook. “and why should i listen to you, hm, doll?”
he stands there, unimpressed, but you didn’t research cars like a madman for nothing. it was a rabbit hole you had commended yourself for diving into, too, because you always had wanted to start, just, how? and that changed when you finally had the opportunity to delve into the complicated world of cars with the help of your friend’s dad who was a mechanic. “um… you really don’t. just giving some pointers, or at least, recommendations that go well with your ’66 corvette.”
oh my god? you know the exact year his chevrolet was released too?
the ex-racer only nods slowly, keeping it in mind for the next time he has the time to switch to an updated engine, but he didn’t expect help to come from your hands the next time, working under the hood like a professional while still leaving the heavy lifting to him. you had fun each time in the garage, exchanging intel and geeking about cars while you both open up to each other — all under the guise of tutoring his son.
since then, toji has taken his corvette out to meet you more than he takes it out for errands, meeting you with a promise that he would take care of your university fees. but none of the time spent with you would’ve warned him that you two would be changing his next engine, too, except that maybe, you were finally his girl.
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why does toji’s always end up the longest bye. also this is the only req i’ve gotten, i swear i don’t bite guys. ♡ thirsts and drabble requests are open!
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etoiile · 6 months
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CLINGY
starring suna rintaro!
synopsis: when suna pushes your hug off of him, it makes an insecurity grow.
notes: first time writing for hq! def very very ooc for him but wtv im working on it
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your possibly biggest fear ever was being annoyingly clingy.
your main love language was physical touch, and you had a very clear way of showing your love and affection. any one of your friends could easily say, "yep, they're really clingy," because you were. you'd greet them excitedly with a hug, cuddle with them during movies, and sling an arm over their shoulders when sitting next to each other.
you knew that you were clingy, and it didn't bother you much. no one around you seemed to dislike it and you knew yourself how much you'd like it if someone paid that much attention to you. you felt most loved when you felt seen, and having someone shower you in hugs made you feel that way, so you did it to other people, to show them how special they were to you.
one of the things that came with being clingy, however, was fear. fear that even though it was something you knew you'd appreciate, it was something annoying to others. the last thing you ever wanted was for someone to find you annoying to be around. that sounded like an absolute nightmare.
so, when you surprised rin with a backhug and he stood there, not reciprocating your hug, and then gently shoved you off, telling you he wasn't in a good mood, not to bother him, and to please, "stop being like a fucking mosquito clinging onto him all the time," you could feel your body trembling as you quickly retreated, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
when he later apologized to you, telling you he was sorry for lashing out at you, you accepted his apology, but the insecurity still lingered.
----
suna was in a great mood.
he'd done really well at practice today, they got let out early enough that the sun was still out and shining, and he practically skipped home at the thought of coming home to your arms.
he unlocked the front door and yelled an, "i'm home," as he pulled his shoes off and set his bag down. you came over to greet him and he found his body tingling with excitement, ready to grab onto you and hold you tight.
"welcome home, rin," you smiled warmly at him, but then turned around and went back to your laptop. he stood there, dumbfounded. what just happened?
he followed you suspiciously, wondering what was going on. you always greeted him with a hug. always. why were you being different today? had you simply forgotten? no, it doesnt work like that. you didn't forget, you chose not to. why?
"...is everything ok?" he asked hesitantly. you didn't seem to be in a bad mood, so why were you acting weird?
you looked up at him, confused. "yeah? why, is something wrong?"
"yeah." he replied, plopping down next to you. "with you."
you frowned, your heart beginning to beat faster. first, you had stopped yourself from throwing your arms around him, which you so desperately wanted to do, in order to be less annoying, but there was still something wrong? what did you do? how were you still annoying him?
"...what do you mean?" you asked, trying your best to mask the nervousness in your voice. you really, really, really didn't want to be annoying. you wanted to be someone rin wanted to be around, not someone who pissed him off when he spent time with you. you really did want to work on the things he didn't like, and improve yourself for him. you braced yourself for what he might say next, reminding yourself that you can't cry just because someone brings up an issue about you.
"you didn't give me 'welcome home' hug." he muttered a little sheepishly, rubbing the bag of his neck. he looked up at you, his hazel eyes making your body feel like jelly. "did i do something wrong?"
you could feel your lower lip trembling as you tried to stop it. "..no! no, of course not. i just...thought that after what you...said yesterday, you'd want some space! i know im clingy, so im gonna work on it, ok?" you mustered out, trying to keep a smile on your face.
suna's eyes widened. he'd lashed out at you yesterday, but he'd apologized for it already, so he thought that meant you knew he didn't mean it. plus, you two were people who joked around a lot and spewed random shit all the time. he knew you knew that, so he didn't think it was on your mind and he didn't think you you thought what he said was true, because it wasn't. at all.
though, seeing as how you were struggling to keep it together, and how you hadn't welcomed him home with a hug for the first time since moving in together, he realized his words had cut deeper than he realized.
"hey," he turned to completely face you. "look at me." he gently guided your chin to meet his eyes, as you were apparently very keen on looking everywhere but him, and forced you to look at him.
"what i said last night... i didn't mean it. at all. you know i love your affection, right? i was just in a bad, bad mood yesterday, and 'm real sorry i lashed out at you because of it. i know i might be shit at expressing it right, but i love you and your clingy ass so much, and i'm sorry if it didn't seem that way. i love your touch and affection, really."
and with that, all of the fear came rushing out of you in the form of tears, and you jumped onto rin as you held him tight, your heart soaring in relief when he did the same. embarrassed to be seen, you buried your face in his chest and just sniffled silently.
"...you really mean it?"
"yeah,"
"it's not annoying? 'coz i want you to tell me if it is, and i'll work on it. really."
"it's not,"
"...you're sure?"
"i'm sure."
you then wiped your tears and giggled as you peppered his neck with kisses, laughing more when he scrunched up from the ticklish sensation.
"i love you," you said, stopping your flurry of kisses for a minute.
he gave you a boyish grin that made you melt and ran his hand through your hair. "i love you too, doll."
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𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 ©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍
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upsidedownmvnson · 1 year
Text
dungeons and douchebags | eddie munson
where eddie munson kills your dnd character out of spite & you end up in the hospital in the same day. eddie, of course, blames only himself.
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full fic of this blurb :)
AN: i named the third guy keith bc he needed a name, and if his role was pre-established im SORRY but hes a mage. a lot of the dnd stuff im sure is wrong and doesnt work but let me live
also i love this so u should to
also also I KNOW ITS A SHITTY THING FOR A DM TO DO - thats the point
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Eddie’s annoyed with you when you’re not on time for Hellfire.
You know he’s sensitive about starting on time, but still you were running late again, even though this time you promised it would be different, and you would even be early.
And Eddie had foolishly believed you again. It hurt especially, because even though you were just friends, Eddie was so painfully in love with you. All day every day, he was pining, yearning, longing. You were on his mind all the time, and you... you couldn't even bother to be on time for Hellfire.
When he begged you to be on time earlier in the day, he had made sure to mention that it would mean a lot to him if you were on time. And he thinks that if you love him back, you'll definitely care when he communicates something like that.
He knows he shouldn't let himself feel like this, but every Friday he's reminded that he's not special to you. He's not the one person you're always on time for. Eddie thinks, somehow, that if you're on time for Hellfire, well then maybe you like him too. It's silly, but it's what he does. It gets more painful as time goes on and you're still not there.
The mood slowly shifts to something tense as time ticks on. You’re always a couple minutes late but nearly an hour? Eddie is painfully frustrated, and his feelings are hurt. Eddie has overthught himself to a dramatic conclusion that you've decided you're above Hellfire.
While the party chats on totally unaware, barely even recognizing that they still haven't started, Eddie thinks you've looked in the mirror and recognized that you're better than them. That you can, and should, have everything and everyone you want. He thinks you'll want to be with a jock. Or maybe a cheerleader. He thinks you've decided not to love him.
In a fit of self pity and rage, he decides to leave your character behind, so the party left you alone, sleeping in a cave.
"Attention," Eddie says, "the sun is rising. It's time to pack your bags and move on."
Dustin looks confused, "where's y/n?"
"Who knows?" Eddie tries to look unamused to hide his pain, but it slips, and ends up just looking angry.
Eddie rolls a perception check for you to see if you wake up. He rolls an 18. And with your build you would've noticed the group leaving without you. Eddie is still think about you in the arms of a jock. "She fails." Eddie looks at the group with an evil grin. "You leave the camp unnoticed."
As the game goes on, Eddie feels crappy. He's never cheated like that before. Like, sure, he's changed a roll or two to make the plot better, or to not totally kill one of his players because some random NPC got a nat 20. That was his right as DM. But... leaving you like that was less than cool.
But even worse, when they return to the cave later, you're stuck in a bandit situation. Eddie really, truly, genuinely expected the party to save you. Except, one thing led to another, and you were stabbed through stomach, making you bleed out. Normally, this is where you'd roll your life saving throws.
It wasn't really supposed to play out like that. But he didn't expect the party to roll such terrible throws, all of them accidently leaving you defenseless. Eddie kinda feels bad, but you hurt him first.
What he doesn't expect is Steve Harrington bursting into the drama room, looking frenzied, just a few moments later. The party halts. The last thing happening in the game was the party finishing off the last bandit, and running to your aid. But now, they were all just staring at Steve. Eddie approached his friend, worried about the look in Steve’s eyes.
Steve stood up straight, and cleared his throat. Weakly he says, “something terrible happened.”
And then Steve tells them all about your car accident, and Eddie feels sick. His knees buckle, and Steve has to hold him up. He’s totally disoriented by this news. He feels his heartbeat pounding behind his eyes, and his ears ring loudly, barely registering the panicked talking going on around him
“They're alive,” Steve was shouting, but because people weren’t letting him talk, he had to keep shouting it over the hundred questions. They wouldn't be able to handle it. Not again. Not when Max still hasn't woken up. “Eddie? Can you hear me buddy?”
But Eddie was in shock. He was blaming himself. He killed you.
“Can you walk? I'll drive you,” Steve says, as Gareth searches Eddie's pockets for the keys to the van. “Dustin, get over here, help me get Eddie to the car.” Eddie overhears Jeff tell everyone to meet at the van.
As soon as they get moving, the adrenaline starts pumping through Eddie’s body. He was suddenly able to break free of his friends' aid and pick up his pace, and the three of them ran through the school and into the parking lot. The dim light Steve parked by was flickering, putting a weak spotlight on Eddie as he tugged the door handle on the passenger seat
“Let me unlock it,” Steve snapped, fumbling the keys in his hand. He dropped them, the pressure of Eddie’s stare was kinda terrifying. He got the door open and unlocked the others.
When they were in the car, Eddie was finally alert, if anything overaware.
“What the fuck is going on?” he snapped.
No one said anything. There was nothing they could say that would make Eddie feel better, or calm down. Steve sped out of the parking lot, blowing the stop sign. He really shouldn't have, given the whole reason you were in the hospital.
Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn't happening. He was wrong. He was being petty and he was hurt because he thought you were being a dick but you were - he was gunna throw up - you were somewhere bleeding. While he was busy killing you, you were actually laying on the asphalt after a violent car crash. And he was thinking you're an asshole
“Their character died,” Eddie said, “I've killed them.”
“It's not gunna happen,” Steve said, gripping the steering wheel. It was a statement he couldn't back up.
At the hospital, Eddie barely waited for the car to stop before he was running inside, tripping over his own feet as he rushed to get to you. dustin was hot on his trail and steve was parking the car.
Eddie saw Nancy with Jonathan over by the nurse's station, and when Nancy saw him, she came hustling over, putting her hands on Eddie's arms. Dustin spoke quietly with Jonathan in the background.
“Relax,” she said, “please breath. They’re okay right now, they’re in surgery, and it's going really well, okay?”
“Wheeler?” Eddie asked, eyes filling with tears he had no control over.
“It has to be fine,” Nancy said, “sit with me.” Nancy Wheeler was not going to lose another friend today. Not again.
And with no other options he listened, following Nancy to an uncomfortable plastic chair that squeaked when he sat. Nancy held his hand over the stiff arm rests, but he didn't find any comfort. He didn't think he would until he was with you again.
Jonathan sat beside Nancy, giving her a sad smile and handing her a bitter coffee. He sat quietly, letting Nancy give Eddie her attention. Dustin sat on the other side of Eddie, also opting to stay quiet. What was anyone supposed to say?
Honestly, the only thing Eddie wanted to hear was your voice.
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Nothing changed for the first two days. But on the third day, the only change was in Eddie. He went from sitting quietly by your side to scribbling stuff in a notebook like a crazy person. He would also dip out to go use a library computer, or "check on some things," as he explained to Nancy.
Her and Steve were mutually concerned about Eddie's state. He was constantly babbling about saving you, and how he's figured it out they just have to succeed.
Everyone else got a chance to be worried when they got a call Tuesday saying there was a mandatory Hellfire meeting and anyone not in attendance would be left behind, and unwelcome for the rest of the campaign. He couldn't risk a single missing member. Not with the stakes...
Tuesday evening, Gareth, Jeff, and Keith are the first to arrive. They are curious as to what the hell their bandmate had cooked up, but they were more worried than excited. Eddie hadn't exactly been himself the last couple of days.
They don't expect a set up even more elaborate than usual. The lights are red and blue, making the room feel eerie, and small.
"Welcome to Hell," Eddie said, grinning and holding his arms open wide.
Gareth and Jeff exchanged a look, but were too nervous to speak. Eddie didn't want to explain the objective twice, so he waited for the rest of the party to arrive before he said anything, but the look in his eye feels sinister. His friends suddenly realized how truly fucked Eddie would be if anything happened to you.... like... for keeps.
When the rest of the party is there, they look to Eddie expectantly, but he just continues to smile like a maniac and tells everyone to take their seats. Dustin is confused to see Steve Harrington sneak into the room and lean against the wall.
"I cheated," he says when he has the attention of the flock, "y/n didn't fail the perception check, and therefore their death wasn't fair. However, death is death. So we're going to have to bring them back."
Dustin notices that Steve Harrington's presence is not explained.
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Nancy sits at your bedside like she has for the better part of the last four days. She holds a book in one hand, and the other rests casually beside you, near your hand. She looks at you, and then her hand. She gets a supernatural chill.
She puts her book down, and speaks your name quietly, looking for any sign of life from you. One more day of your glass features and she was going to crumble. Nancy shakes the bizarre feeling from her head, and pats your hand.
She shocked when you're ice cold to the touch. She recoils, pulling away fast. But after the initial shock fades, she touches you again. There was no way that was right, right? You were freezing. What the hell was that about? Nancy starts a search for a blanket to warm you up.
A mage freezes your body. The party scavenges for anything that can help and then leave the cave, your frozen body in tow. Another player can't make life saving throws for you, so they were thinking outside the box. They would take you deep, deep into an ancient necromancer's lair, and steal the resurrection stone from around his neck.
Nancy returns with a simply grey blanket, and a very friendly nurse. They had gotten to talking, and Nancy has simply explained how cold you had been, having not thought too much of it. The nurse, Sophie, had decided to come check it out too.
"Oh my gosh," Sophie says, feeling the ice cold skin. "Oh my gosh, she's like ice!"
And leaves Nancy feeling a little worried as she scurries out of the room. It was like she'd never seen anything like it. Nancy feels uneasy, and makes a quick phone call from your bedside phone. Jonathan picks up, and as soon as he hears the concern in her voice, he's on the way.
Nancy hangs up, picks the phone back up, and calls Steve. He picks up on the first ring.
"Something is like... actually happening over here," she whispers, shocked to even be saying it.
"No shot," he says, nearly laughing at the idea. He whispers the next part so the group doesn't hear anything, "I thought we agreed Eddie was just crazy, and this whole 'saving her character will save her' was just to show him that he didn't cause all this."
"I know we did," she said, "but y/n is cold as ice."
Eddie's voice booms as he narrates the perilous journey. After trap rooms, fighting devil dogs, two gargoyles, and a Molydeus that nearly killed Mike. They had made it into the inner sanctum, but had all failed to roll perception upon entering, and set off a fire trap. One that melted the spell on you, leaving you warm enough to die. "Hurry!" Dustin shouted, "engage the necromancer! Hit 'em with everything we got."
Nancy is already back into her book, Jonathan sitting on the floor beside her, leaning his head against the armrest, while she dangles a dainty arm over his shoulder, letting it lay relaxed on his chest. A single beep draws her attention. She notices something different, but she can't say what. Your cheeks are rosy.
Nancy brings her hand off of Jonathan, drawing his attention too. She puts a cool hand against your forehead, and is again shocked by how you feel. You're burning up. You're fucking hot. Like boiling. Nancy runs to find Sophie again.
The turn is Keith's, his mage more powerful than the others, but instead turns his attention to your character. "I cast flesh to stone on y/n!" the mage shouts. "She'll die if she stays like this." "Roll for it!" "18!" "Pass!" Your body is frozen again, this time encased in stone. Another stall, and Eddie knows the party is running out of time.
"You have to feel her head," Nancy says, speed walking with the bubbly nurse hot on her trail. Sophie complies, and gasps.
"It's not possible," she says quietly, "I'm getting the doctor. There's something strange about your friend."
Nancy looks down at you, and jumps out of her skin when the machines start beeping wildly. All of them making different noises, all of them loud. Sophie rushes back in, with more staff behind her. Nancy and Jonathan are ushered out of the room by a woman who explains that you're in a code blue, which means they have to resuscitate you.
Nancy looks around the white hallway. She's overwhelmed and underpaid.
"Stay here," she tells her boyfriend. "This is crazy!"
But she runs off before she explains anything else. She's after a phone, which she finds with no trouble. She fishes a quarter out of her pocket, and uses it to call Steve again. He picks up as fast as last time, desperate for something other than watching dnd.
"Whatever they're doing, tell them to hurry up!" she's shouting, drawing the attention of patients and staff around her. "Something's happening! She's not breathing!"
The necromancer stands injured. The party cornering him, making him cower. He trembles, and begs for his life. He explains that the party came to his home, killed his people, and now wish to rip off the very thing that keeps him alive. "I stab him through the heart, and I take the necklace." Dustin says. As he looks at Steve, he thinks he understands what's going on. "Roll." "For what?" "Dexterity." Dustin rolls his die. The table is silent. The little D20 lands. the group erupts when they see the Nat 20 he rolled, effectively grabbing the necklace and throwing it around your neck from a metre away like horseshoe. As it lands on you, the ground shifts under the party's feet. Everyone stares in silence, both in the campaign and real life. Your character opens her eyes, coughs, and rises.
The party roars to life at the table, cheering at a job well done and slamming hands on the table in excitement. But the cheers are short lived, silence coats the room but this one is different. It's serious, eery. They can see that Steve looks worried, and he's trying to get Nancy to answer him, but he's getting nothing. looking at Steve expectantly. Apparently, everyone had figured out what the plan was. They all knew they were trying to wake you up. Steve says nothing. Just hangs up the phone, looking up with a disappointed frown.
"The line went dead."
Steve is once again driving Eddie to the hospital. And he's a nervous wreck. You're like schrodinger's cat. Eddie doesn't know if you're alive or not. He chews on the side of his thumb during the entire ride. The rest of the club was waiting patiently in the drama room. Eddie and Steve promised to call as soon as they knew anything.
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Eddie can't fucking breath as he sprints down the hospital hallways, ignoring every sign and person telling him not to. He doesn't care. He has to get to you.
Wheeler is outside your room talking to a doctor, but with her back to him he couldn't see the bright, beautiful smile on her face talking excitedly about your miraculous recovery. Eddie runs right passed her to your room, and uses the doorframe to propel himself in, scaring both you and Jonathan who had been sitting quietly.
You look pale, and there are bags under your eyes. But you're sporting a weak smile, shaky hands holding a cup of lime jello. Eddie can't help but smile. You're awake, sitting up, and smiling at him. He has to laugh at the like, ten empty jello packages. Jonathan slips out the door without a word, and Eddie takes his seat by your bed.
"I was so fuckin' scared," Eddie says, tears falling from his eyes before he could even process it. He hadn't realized.
You hold your hand out for him and whisper, "Eddie," and he looks up, puppy dog eyes glossy with lingering tears, and heartbreaking to see. He takes your hand. "You didn't do this."
And he cries harder, leaning down and holding your hand to his forehead and begging your forgiveness anyway. "I did," he cries, "out of spite and jealousy, I tried to hurt you, and I did. I let them leave you alone. I made them and I cheated-"
"-Eddie-"
"-and you should've seen the party-"
"-Eddie, seriously-"
"-leaving because you totally passed the, ow, hey!"
You had flicked him on the nose, his babbling giving you no other choice, but as usual he was being dramatic, you hadn't actually hurt him at all.
"Eddie, stop, and listen to me," you say, "you didn't do this. You're not actually all powerful, you know that, right?"
"But-"
"But nothing," you say, smiling. "But Nancy told me that you saved me so no hard feelings."
Eddie smiles back at you, letting you wipe the tears leftover on his flushed cheeks. He leans into your touch and your heart swells. In your mind, you beg him to kiss you. You beg and plead and hope that this will be the time he makes a move.
He knows this is his chance, he leans closer to you, slowly, gauging your reaction. "Is this okay?" he whispers, when he's just an inch from your lips. You feel his breath as he speaks and you can't resist, pushing yourself forward to close the gap. And he kisses you like he's kissed you a hundred times before. Like he already knows everything you will like, even before you do. His lips are so fucking soft against yours, all plush and warm and taking over your senses.
"Well, I guess I can tell the others that you're fine," Steve says, and Eddie pulls away from you. His sudden absence is cold.
"I saved her," Eddie says, grinning. "Nancy said so."
the hair on the back of will's neck having a disco party during this entire fic
1K notes · View notes
starlazergazer · 2 days
Text
Figure Something Out
Pairing: Anakin x Reader
Request: I was wondering if you could make a enemies to lover where Anakin is madly in love with reader but wont admit it since he likes to mock and annoy her but the reader doesnt, like there are but they arent as strong as Anakins. So as time passes she starts to catch feelings for him and ends in fluff but its a little angsty too yk
Warnings: Swearing, Anakin being a bit of dick
Word Count: 7.5k (sorry not sorry we love a slow burn enemies/academic rivals to lovers)
A/N: Check the blog for a little update if you want but I really hope this was worth the wait! As always please please let me know what you think!
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Your eyes bounced fervently back and forth between your master’s and Anakin’s, not even bothering to hide the shock you were sure was etched into your expression. “You can’t be serious”
“Do I look like I’m joking” came your master’s quick reply, his tone alone enough to scold you for your loss in decorum, your posture snapping up reflexively as you schooled your face back to a more natural expression, unable to keep yourself from getting defensive.
“I just mean-“ the hurried deflection rolled off your tongue before you could stop it, your master’s unamused glare enough to keep the words from fully coming out. Taking a deep breath, you tried to better control yourself before you continued. “he’s a padawan, same seniority as me how could he train me?”
“He’s also standing right here” Anakin’s gruff voice proved he was just as thrilled about this assignment as you, though you barely spared him a glance, keeping your gaze locked onto your master’s, a silent plea for him to take it back.
“Padawan Skywalker is the best padawan with a saber by leagues I think he could be of great help to you” And you knew that tone your master used here, one he reserved to tell you he was done discussing the matter.
Dejectedly you finally let your gaze slip over to Anakin’s, offering him a tight-lipped smile “I appreciate your help Padawan Skywalker” you nearly choked on the words, having to force them out of your throat.
Anakin in response said nothing, his arms crossed defensively over his chest as he let his eyes rake your figure quickly, letting your words hang uncomfortably in the air until your master finally broke the silence.
“Truly padawan Skywalker we appreciate everything you do for us” He offered a small nod, clapping Anakin on the back.
“Of course master Koon” and you didn’t miss the way he offered your master a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, nor the way he was happy to return a comment to your master’s thanks but not your own. The two of you were already off to a great start to what was bound to be a very short apprenticeship.
With a small nod back in return Master Koon took his leave, leaving you and Anakin alone in the hallway, you looking up at the padawan expectantly, him pointedly avoiding your gaze as much as possible.
“Look” you drew his attention back to you with a sigh “neither of us want to be doing this so how about we just forget this and go our separate ways?”
He raised an eyebrow up at you in response, clearly unimpressed by your proposed solution “I told Master Koon I would help”
“And how noble of you to do so” you replied with a huff, crossing your arms over your chest to match his posture “but since you clearly want to spend as much time with me as I do you this felt mutually beneficial”
“I’ve seen you fight” he responded back with a small shake of his head “you very obviously do need the help”
“Believe me you’ve made it abundantly clear what you think of my fighting skills in training” you replied with a bitter laugh.
“When it takes your opponent less than a minute to get your saber out of your hand it’s hard to keep my comments to myself”
“It does not-“ and you cut yourself off before you could properly blow up, Anakin always having this weird affect on you, pushing you over the edge with little more than a tap. You weren’t letting him get to you that easily this time. With a deep breath you tried to collect yourself “Fine, when do you want to start?”
Anakin paused for a moment, doing nothing but survey you, probably curious as to why you hadn’t started biting his head off yet, but nonetheless continued “after dinner tonight, now come on we have battle strategies with master Kenobi”
“You were asked to help me train with my lightsaber, doesn’t mean you have to walk me to class from now on” you huffed but followed him down the hallway nonetheless.
“Then start jogging and we’ll call this training too” he answered with a shrug.
-
You sat back trying to listen to Obi-wan’s lecture, finding yourself for the first time ever in this class unable to pay attention to the lecture, instead your focused was solely on the person next to you.
Anakin has spent the last several years making his feelings towards you abundantly clear. If the chiding remarks, the mocking comments, the downright insults were anything to go by then you could easily say that he didn’t seem to like you that much. And you had to say by this point the feeling was mutual.
He’d spent all of his time in this class in particular sitting on the other side of the room, pointedly the chair that was just about as far away from you as possible, something you were sure the rest of the padawan’s had picked up on by this point. And that would explain why now that he not only showed up to class with you in tow but took a seat next to your usual one the entire rooms attention seemed to subtly shift in your direction.
Not that the room’s attention wasn’t usually in his direction if you were being honest. Anakin was the jedi council’s golden boy, the prophetic child that would bring balance to the force, as well as being a hell of a fighter with his light saber, and if you were being totally objective he wasn’t exactly hard on the eyes. All of this meant he had a natural sort of charisma that seemed to draw the unconscious attentive weight of a room in his direction, a weight that now sat squarely on your shoulders as well.
This new attention combined with Anakin’s incessant knee bouncing meant your focus was on just about anything but the lecture at hand.
“You know you don’t need to babysit me in every other part of jedi training” you whispered over to him, Anakin’s knee bouncing harmlessly against yours as he leaned in to listen and you fought the urge to pull your own back. Afterall this was your desk you weren’t about to contort yourself so he could be more comfortable.
“Is this why you need my help?” he responded with an annoying smirk, leaning in even more as he whispered “because you struggle to pay attention in class?”
You narrowed your eyes back at him in response “I’ll have you know-“
“Padawan Y/L/N, Skywalker” Obi-wan’s unamused voice broke through your whisper sharply, freezing you in place, your face now uncomfortably close to Anakin’s as every eye turned towards the two of you “is there something you would like to share with the class”
“no Master” Anakin answered quickly, righting himself just as you did.
“Perhaps some insight on the battle then?” Obi-wan goaded, gesturing to the holomap before him, amusement sparkling in his eyes as he watched his padawan squirm beneath his gaze.
“Well I-“ you could hear the lost tone in Anakin’s voice as he desperately searched for something to say, you having half a mind to let him sit in the hot seat before you let your eyes roam over the map, happy to see that you recognized the battle Obi-wan was walking you through.
“The republic’s army comes from behind” you offered before things could get too awkward, feeling Anakin’s gaze snap in your direction as you spoke “on that ridge over there, flanking the enemy forcing them to surrender”
Obi-wan’s gaze turned to yours with a warm smile as he nodded, no doubt knowing you would know the answer even if you hadn’t been paying complete attention, before he flicked it back to his padawan, raising his eyebrows slightly as he spoke “very good padawan Y/L/N”
He held Anakin’s gaze for a moment longer, an unspoken conversation happening between the two of them before Obi-wan continued lecture like usual, turning back to face the rest of the room.
Taking the opportunity you leaned back towards Anakin again “if there’s one thing I don’t need your help with, it’s this class”
The smirk made another appearance on his mouth as he looked down at you, but this one felt different than before, warmer somehow, as he nodded “noted princess”
-
Whatever confidence you had bolstered from battle strategies quickly left you the minute you got to saber training.
Anakin was already in the center of the room, feet planted squarely on the mat as he spun his saber effortlessly around his body, concentration etched onto his face though you could tell even from across the room that he was just having fun with it. What you wouldn’t give to be able to whip your saber around with such precision that it seemed almost careless.
“You gonna come fight or having too much fun back there enjoying the show?”
You detested the amusement in his voice as you realized you’d spent much too long staring at him from the doorway. Unable to think of much of a response, you immediately cast your gaze down to your shoes, blindly making your way towards the mat, unclipping the saber from your belt.
“What no training sticks?” You asked with a bitter laugh as you turned on your lightsaber, giving it a half hearted twirl in your hand as you set your stance.
“Don’t worry I’ll try not to hurt you” he winked back as he did the same, making you fight the urge to roll your eyes.
You waited for him to make the first attack, the two of you spinning in a circle around one another, each waiting for the other to strike first.
Not once did that stupid smirk fall from his face, frustration rising more and more within you with each step until you couldn’t take it anymore, deciding to suck it up and make the first move.
Swinging your saber down at him Anakin deflected the blow with little more than a flick of his wrist, barely moving from his original position no doubt in an attempt to show you how easily he could win if he wanted to. Fine, if that’s how he wants to play it.
You barely gave yourself time to recover before making another swing, Anakin deflecting with another simple movement, but you were back at it. Blow after blow Anakin’s saber met yours at every thrust effortlessly, but still you push forward, kept getting closer, not even noting that Anakin never bothered to take a step back. Not noticing how close you got to him until his empty hand shot out mid swing, capturing your wrist and disarming you with a twist, your saber now held tightly in his hand.
Before you could even comprehend what had happened he yanked hard on your arm, twisting you wildly until your back came crashing against his chest, one arm holding your saber and wrapping around your waist to pin you against him the other pressing his blade right up against your throat.
You could’ve screamed in frustration, at how easily he had pinned you, at how effortlessly he seemed to be able to block everything you threw at him, at how close and vulnerable you were now that he had you now pinned against him.
“What is this some game for you? Are you just toying with me?” You spat back at him, not bothering to hide the anger in your voice.
You heard a deep chuckle from behind you, could feel it ruminate up through his chest as it pressed you even further into his chest before he spoke, voice low and right in your ear, his breath tickling the shell of it with each word “I’m teaching you princess. Now use that big brain of yours and figure something out”
And you could’ve laughed at his so called advice, at how easy it is to tell someone to figure something out when you didn’t have a saber against your throat.
Instead you decided you were done fucking around.
Picking your foot up you slammed it down hard on the jedi’s left foot at the same time rearing your head back harshly to make contact with his nose, both attacks catching Anakin enough by surprise that he released his hold on you, stumbling back and releasing his grip on your saber enough that you could slip it from his grasp, pivoting on the spot and pointing the tip of the blade right at the jedi’s throat.
Anakin in response held his nose in his hand, pinching the bridge of it as he completely ignored your saber pointed at him, giving you a disappointed glare from overtop of it.
He sniffed and wiggled his nose before shaking his head and bating off your saber with his own half-heartedly “you know that trick won’t work anywhere but here”
“Good thing I don’t need it to work anywhere but here” you returned with a smirk, stepping back a few feet before dropping back into a fighting stance.
Anakin offered nothing more than a disappointed sigh before he dropped into a stance of his own, giving his nose one last check before he launched forward to attack.
You had no problem dodging each of his blows, your body always out of the way of the arc of his saber. The issue arose when it came to deflecting them. Swing after swing your saber was always there to meet his but the effort of stopping each of the jedi’s much more powerful swings had your arms shaking after mere minutes, your feet scrambling back to try and avoid the brunt of each blow as much as possible.
Anakin, however, seemed to zero in on your weakness immediately, never relenting as he swung again and again. You in response started to try and redirect each blow, hoping that redirecting the power of the swing would take the load off your arms.
That was until his saber seemed to hit yours at just the right speed, just the right angle, that the force of it reverberated down to your hands, your grip faltering for just a second but it was enough to have the cool metal of the hilt of your saber slip from your grasp.
Anakin hit immediately with another blow, effectively knocking your saber out of your hands.
You watched dejectedly as your saber slid out from your grasp and flew across the room. With a small sigh you held your empty hands up defensively ready for Anakin to sheath his saber and start listing off all the things you did wrong.
Instead you watched as Anakin stayed rigid in his position, lightsaber still held in front of you, knees still bent ready to strike.
“I get it, you win, I’ll get ‘em next time” you pushed mock enthusiasm into your voice as you started to make your way off the mat in the direction you saw your saber go when a blue column of light swung down just in front of you, barring your movement.
“So in an actual battle your plan is just to give up when you lose your lightsaber?” Anakin’s chiding voice had you gritting your teeth as your head snapped in his direction, little more than an amused smirk on his face as he talked “maybe offer your neck to the sith for an easy decapitation”
“No I’ll-“ frustrated words died in your throat as you sought an end for your sentence. You were tired, sweat had your robes sticking to your torso uncomfortably and every muscle you had burned, now was not the time for his mind games.
“You’ll what?” he pushed forwards, retracting his lightsaber so it now was held in that defensive position you were now all to used to seeing him in.
“I don’t know I’ll figure something out” you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Then figure something out” he goaded with a raised brow before striking, his saber moving slightly slower than you knew he was capable of, giving you plenty of time to side step out of the way.
“Okay I get it” you called back to him as you dodged another swing, taking a step back towards the edge of the mat “you’ve made your point”
“I’ve made my point when you stop thinking of this as just training” he shot back with another swing of his saber, pushing forward forcing you to take another step back “this isn’t just to get through training so you can advance in the jedi ranks this is about survival” another swing, another dodge and another step back “this is about making sure you stand a chance out on the battle field” you felt the floor beneath your heels start to give way, your toes balancing on the edge of the mat “this isn’t some game Y/N”
You felt your irritation grow within you with each word. You knew this wasn’t some game, you had been outside of the walls of the temple, you had been on a battle field, you knew you needed help with your fighting skills but who was he to decide after one day that you weren’t taking this seriously enough.
You watched as he set up for his next attack, as his foot landed far out in front of him as he lunged forward, the whole world seeming to slow around you as you side stepped the saber, Anakin’s hand sailing past you effortlessly. Without a second thought you seized his wrist, giving it a small twist in the wrong direction as you pulled him forward with it, effectively knocking the jedi off his balance.
Before he could realize what was happening Anakin was sailing forward, past you, to the ground below as you pivoted around to face him from atop the mat, his lightsaber now clutched firmly in your grasp.
Spinning slightly in the air so that his shoulder first made contact with the floor Anakin slid a few inches on the ground, coming to a stop on his back and looking up at you only to see his own lightsaber pointed down at his throat.
“Do you want to offer up your neck for an easy decapitation now?”
And to your surprise you heard nothing back but a laugh. A sound you didn’t think Anakin Skywalker was even capable of.
“That was good Y/N”
You felt your feet faulter beneath you, your knees nearly giving out, was that a compliment?
Your mind was still reeling as you shut down his saber and dropped it to the ground next to you, because Anakin Skywalker did not compliment you. Tease, chastise, bully sure he did all of those things but never compliment. And he certainly didn’t smile at you like he was doing now.
It was a weird sight to see, Anakin grinning from the ground below you, eyes twinkling slightly as his whole face changed with it, and to your horror you found a part of you liking the way it looked on him, as he extended his hand out to you.
Before you could even think better of it you reached out and grabbed his hand, helping to haul him to his feet, ignoring the slight tingle his touch left on your skin, blaming the way your cheeks felt hot beneath his gaze on the exertion of fighting him.
“You may never overpower your opponent but you’re fast” Anakin continued on as if nothing had changed, dusting himself off, the hint of a smile still playing on his lips as he talked “use that, dodge until you have them making sloppy attacks then strike as soon as you can”
It took you too long to notice that he was waiting for you to say something, little more coming out of your mouth than a half-hearted “yeah” that had his brows drawing in confusion.
Stooping slightly, he came down to your eyelevel, nose nearly close enough to touch your own, and for a brief moment staring deeply into each eye before shaking his head softly “that was probably too much for today wasn’t it”
Still you didn’t respond, not sure if you could’ve if you tried, for some reason unable to pull your gaze from Anakin as he looked at you, fluffy hair framing his face perfectly as if you hadn’t spent the last two hours dueling, as if you weren’t drenched in sweat.
Anakin frowned back in response, a single hand coming out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before he could think better of it. Then bending down and picking up his lightsaber from where you had dropped it “get some rest princess”
He spoke softly, softer than you had ever really heard him speak before he started to make his way towards the exit, leaving you standing on the edge of the mat, before he called out “I mean it, you did well today”
It was only after he left that it dawned on you, he had used your actual name.
-
Maybe it was naive of you to think that things could change so quickly.
That all it took was one decent lesson from him and the two of you could seamlessly slip into a weird sort of friendship.
Maybe you just wanted to believe you could put everything behind you so easily that you assumed he wanted to do the same.
You’d heard people gush about Anakin Skywalker before. About how helpful he could be, how nice, how charming.
You never got to meet that side of Anakin Skywalker, the man locking that part of himself from you practically the moment he met you. But you had really thought you were starting to see it these past few weeks.
The teasing comments had started to disappear, or they at least lost all their edge, coming off as more inside jokes than anything. He walked you to class every day, some days going out of his way to find you before he started to head in that direction. Your personal space found itself being invaded by him more and more, Anakin no longer going out of his way to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. Lingering touches, wandering eyes, inside jokes that had the two of you seeking out each others gaze in crowded rooms to silently revel in what was just said in a way only the two of you would understand.
Anakin Skywalker was quickly becoming your friend.
It was why when you got notified you were heading out on a mission to track down a bounty hunter with him for the first time ever you weren’t dreading the experience.
No you were actually excited.
Excited as you clipped your saber to your belt and headed out of your room.
Excited as you rounded the corner to head to your transport ship.
Excited as you stepped foot on the entrance ramp.
Excited as-
“I just don’t understand why she has to come with me”
It was as if a lead ball had dropped into your stomach. The excitement evaporating on the spot as a numbness took over and your step faltered, your body freezing in place just steps down from the ships entrance.
Because you knew that voice, but even worse you knew that tone. The anger, the contempt, the annoyance.
All it took was one simple phrase and you were ripped back into the same existence of just weeks ago before you had fallen for all of Anakin Skywalkers tricks.
“I agreed to train her and I’ve been doing that why does she have to hijack my missions now”
And you wished you could say his words didn’t affect you. Afterall just a few weeks ago you would’ve expected to hear them from him, you’d practically grown up hearing this resentment for merely existing in his vicinity.
Then why did they hurt so much now?
Why did they have a painful lump starting to grow in your throat?
Why did they make you wish the ground would swallow you whole on the spot?
Why did you ever think you could be friends with Anakin Skywalker?
“Yes master”
Anakin’s final words snapped you from your daze but still you had to force your legs to move you forward slowly, making sure that as Obi-wan exited the ship you were an appropriate distance back from the entrance.
He gave you a kind smile as he exited. As easy as it would have been to resent Obi-wan due to his proximity to Anakin you could never bring it upon yourself. “May the force be with you Y/N” he offered you with a small head bow.
“Thank you master Kenobi” you responded easily, mirroring his bow.
And he looked like he wanted to say more. Perhaps apologize for his padawan, perhaps offer parting words of wisdom, instead he seemed to swallow them, giving you one more slightly tense smile before departing, leaving you with no where to go but up the ramp.
Anakin’s eyes were on you the second you came into view, his face morphing too easily into a soft, friendly smile. “Hey, you ready?”
And it was the way he could flip the switch so easily, act so flawlessly that everything was okay, so effortlessly at ease.
Weeks ago you would have bit back, would’ve offered back some scathing comment, some backhanded remark. It was one thing that kept you from outright hating the young Skywalker. For every insult he spat you always had one to hurl back at him. He could insult you, berate you, belittle you, but you always came back swinging.
Right now though you didn’t have it in you.
You offered nothing more than a small nod of your head, not missing the way his smile morphed into a frown at it.
Maybe he was expecting you to say something, maybe he was gearing up for a fight, maybe he really thought you hadn’t heard him.
You couldn’t bring yourself to care what was running through his head at this moment.
You brushed past him towards the cockpit not missing the way his eyes never left you as you did so, not missing the way his hand hovered just over your arm, not missing the way he so hesitantly followed you.
You just had to get through this one mission and you could go back to ignoring Anakin Skywalker.
You weren’t as excited for that prospect as you thought you would be.
-
An involuntary hiss slipped past your lips the second your left foot hit the ground, your weight quickly shifting back to your right to avoid the pain, overcorrecting just enough to knock yourself off balance, all weight balanced dangerously on the edge of one foot as your arms reached out half-hazardly seeking anything solid to steady yourself.
Just before you could tip over another body slotted itself beside you, shoulders fluidly depositing themselves beneath your arm as another arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into Anakin’s slide as he swore quietly “I told you to stay put”
You laughed bitterly at that, forcing yourself to lean back away from him as much as possible even as the arm on your waist tightened, his other hand clipping his saber to his belt so that it could come up and grab the hand he had thrown around his shoulders, effectively pinning you to his side as he started to drag you back to the wall “Yeah sure so you can just leave me”
You felt him still at your words, the grip on your hand and waist slackening for a second as your words seemed to hit him physically, your position keeping you from properly viewing his face as his voice came out softer than you had ever heard him “I wouldn’t do that”
His tone caught you by surprise. If there was one thing you knew about Anakin Skywalker it was that the man was loud, the way he carried himself, spoke, hell the way he flew reeked of confidence to the point of arrogance. Anakin was anything but the soft, almost vulnerable tone that just left him.
And you felt a part of you already starting to reach out to him, ready to pull him into your side and assure him that you knew that, assure him that you knew he was a good person, to tell him that you trusted him.
But another part of you couldn’t give up the way he tried bench you. How after everything you had been through: all the training, the way he seemed to go out of his way to be nice to you lately, how everything seemed to be looking up, he still thought you were nothing more than a nuisance, a less than.
Less than capable, less than a good jedi, less than an apt fighter, less than worthy of his trust.
His motion continued after the brief pause, the two of you finally reaching the wall and Anakin taking care to slowly set you down against it, a hand supporting your calf as you squatted down, careful to keep your foot off the ground.
“You’re right that’s probably a touch too far even for you, so instead you want to what scold me for getting in your way? Tell me I’m a shitty jedi for getting myself injured? Pull my hair and call me ugly?”
Anakin only sighed in response, one hand coming up to tangle his fingers in his hair as the other planted on his hip, Anakin doing nothing but looking down at you in your position on the floor. “why are you always so determined to see the worst in me?”
Again the softness in his tone gave you pause, the sincerity in it something you had only gotten used to in the past few weeks. “Anakin that’s all you’ve ever shown me”
“not lately” his reply came out rushed, a note of exasperation crawling its way onto his voice “lately we were good. At least I thought we were good”
You debated your next words for a second, debated how much vulnerability you were ready to show to the man who has been nothing but hot and cold with you for the past few weeks “I thought we were too”
“so what happened?”
“You tried to get me kicked off this mission” your answer was quick and blunt, eyes immediately picking up on the way his brow furrowed “don’t even try to deny it I heard you-“
“No that’s not-“ he cut you off quickly, letting out a frustrated sigh before continuing “I was trying to do the right thing”
“The right thing?” you echoed back now furrowing your own brow.
“You coming here was an unnecessary risk-“
“ah so you still don’t trust me” you interjected quickly, watching closely the way his entire body seemed to recoil at your words.
“What no-“
“we’ve spent weeks training, you’ve given me good advice, I’ve gotten better you’ve said so yourself. So I don’t get why you still don’t-“
“it’s not that-“
“So then what you still can’t stand to be alone with me for that long?”
“Y/N!” he finally cut you off with a small shout, crouching down in front of you close enough that he nearly occupied your entire field of vision, physically forcing you to pay attention to him rather than let your mind run any longer. “I was just trying to protect you”
Your eyes bounced back and forth between his for a moment, trying to decern the truth, trying to find the underlying meaning. “I don’t know why you think I need your protection. I can handle myself”
Another dejected sigh from Anakin, neither of you moving for a tense few seconds before you heard a muttered “forget it” underneath his breath as he pushed himself up to a standing position.
“we need to get out of here” he offered a hand to you, helping you stand though kept his gaze planted on the back door of the building “we’ll stick to the alleyways and use nothing but blasters if we have to, the sabers will be a dead giveaway”
And though you wanted to push the subject more you knew he was right, get yourself through this mission and you could go back to avoiding Anakin Skywalker. It had quickly become a mantra for you.
You let him pull you softly out the back door, Anakin carefully checking around each corner before ushering you forward, helping you hobble on your one good leg slowly back towards your ship. That was until you heard an eerily familiar voice around the next bend.
“Find the jedi scum and bring them to me. The separatists have plans so I want them alive do you understand me?”
Anakin didn’t hesitate before pushing you back against the nearest wall, using his own body to try and shield yours from view as he pinned you against it, one arm bracing himself against it just over your head.
You looked up at him with wide eyes as the two of you listened intently, footsteps slowly drawing much too close for your comfort.
From this distance you could clearly see the set in Anakin’s jaw as he kept his eyes planted at the nearest corner, muscles tense ready to pounce at a moments notice. That was when the thought struck you.
“Quick kiss me”
Anakin’s entire body froze at your words, his eyes snapping to meet yours blown wide in confusion and shock.
“Come across two people kissing in an alleyway they’re certainly not going to expect them to be jedi so quick” You explained in a harsh whisper, giving his robes a quick tug.
Anakin, however, stayed rooted in place, elbow on his arm planted on the wall locking in place to prevent him from getting any closer to you, wide eyes cemented on your face as his chest didn’t even rise with breath.
“Ani quick” you hissed, trying to snap him out of whatever trance he was in.
The footsteps continued to grow louder, the soft drag of a heel against the pavement your only indication that they were steps away from your hiding spot.
Anakin still didn’t respond, gave no indication that he had heard you after your first command. To no avail you tried to silently beg him to move with your eyes.
“Hey what’re you-“
That was all you let them get out before you made your next decision, grabbing for the blaster on Anakin’s hip you aimed and fired, the shot hitting them square in the forehead sending the hunter to the ground before they could even finish their question.
The blaster noise seemed to finally snap Anakin out of it, a soft shake to the Jedi’s head being the only indication that anything had been wrong as he wordlessly pushed himself off of you and snapped his gaze down to the dead man before you.
“What the fuck was that Anakin?” You hissed, giving his chest a small shove.
Anakin’s eyes, however, never strayed from the unconscious body beneath your feet, his chest heaving with each breath as he kept his jaw locked in place.
“Anakin” you tried calling his name again, another push to his chest, still his eyes never strayed from the ground, his body staggering slightly as he let you push him “you blew our cover and because what? You’re so disgusted by me you can’t put up with one stupid kiss for half a second?”
Finally you got a reaction, his stark blue eyes finally snapping up to meet yours, a steel hard gaze you weren’t entirely prepared for, eyes that begged you to drop it.
You couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at his look, limping a few steps back from him as you shook your head, the heels of your palms coming up to dig tiredly into your eyes “Even after all that’s happened you really still hate me so much you’d jeopardize the mission to get out of a kiss”
“It can’t happen like that” His voice surprised you, the words in of themselves confusing but his tone throwing you off more than anything, an almost pained ring in it sending you sparling.
“What?”
A quiet swear from under his breath as he started to pace “Our first” he called louder, as if that were an  explanation, his hands clenching at his sides “It shouldn’t happen like that, it can’t”
And you could feel the frustration start to rise within you, the anger from his inaction ebbing to confusion “Ani slow down what is happening right now”
The nickname seemed to have the desired effect, his pace slowing to a soft stop, eyes snapping up to meet yours once again, an almost guilty expression on his face as he stood before you, Anakin Skywalker looking almost small before you for the first time ever “Do you know how many times I’ve thought of it?” he asked you softly, an anxious hand running through his hair as his eyes broke to look at anything but you “How many times I almost just-“ and he cut himself off with a sigh, a soft shake in his head as he looked down at his shoes, a small scoff escaping before he continued “to think that the first time it would happen was to maintain some stupid cover. That it didn’t mean anything. I couldn’t do it”
A part of your brain was lighting up with realization, another part pushing it back down with denial. He couldn’t be talking about kissing you, not now, not after sending you years of signals that said otherwise “Anakin what are you saying?”
His eyes connected with yours again, a pained expression and a small tilt of his head telling you to stop pretending you didn’t know, begging you to move past faking obliviousness.
But still a part of you was reeling back, sending a huff of air through your nose as you shook your head “How many times could you have really thought about it, you just started being nice to me a week ago”
“Years worth” the words came out on his next exhale, a small shrug in his shoulder as he answered “at least since we were nine”
But that didn’t make any sense, that couldn’t possibly be true “This isn’t funny”
A small bitter laugh escaped him in response, a soft shake of his head as he spoke “believe me sweetheart I’m not laughing”
You barely registered the words, your mind already reeling as it went over every thing he’s ever said to you since then, “you’ve been nothing but mean to me since I’ve met you” your words were soft, spoken more to yourself than to him but still Anakin opened his mouth to respond, your voice cutting him off before he could “always criticizing me in front of the masters, mocking my attempts to learn, making me doubt my own abilities”
“I’m sorry”
And some part of your brain registered that those were not words Anakin used lightly, knew the weight those words held for him. Another part knew it still wasn’t enough.
“You’re sorry?” You scoffed “you made me dread every moment I had to spend in your presence for years and the best you have is I’m sorry?”
Anakin had no response to that, his jaw visibly clenching as he fought to maintain eye contact with you, but no words came, he had no excuse, no real way to make up for it, and you both knew it.
“Why?” and the question shouldn’t matter to you, the ends didn’t justify the means, they couldn’t, but still you needed to know.
Anakin took a second, drawing in a deep breath as his gaze shifted to your feet, a small shrug of one shoulder before he answered “I wanted to get your attention”
And like that you were ready to start yelling again, because surely it wasn’t that simple, surely Anakin wasn’t that stupid, that childish. Instead, he continued on.
“I don’t think I realized that was what it was at first, just knew I liked it when you got in my face and pushed back, liked when you got so wrapped up in me that the rest of the world ceased to exist for a little bit” another pause, another deep breath “then once I figured it out I knew I needed to shut it down, the code meant I couldn’t get close, couldn’t form attachments. Pissing you off felt like a good way to keep you at arm’s length while still getting you to notice me”
A million different emotions swirled around inside of you, each trying to claw their way to the surface. You wanted to yell at him, tell him how stupid that was, berate him for having the emotional regulation skills of a child. You wanted to stay silent, let him stew in his miserly, in his guilt. You wanted to cry, the catharsis, the confusion, the mix of conflicting emotions all welling up inside of you, overwhelming you.
Instead, you spoke softly, your voice sounding almost hollow on your own ears “you know when you first came to the temple all the other kid’s thought you were weird”
Anakin’s gaze shot up to meet yours, a slight furrow in his brow as he tried to figure out where you were going with this.
“Looking back I think they were just jealous. You came in later than the rest of us but you already had a master, Obi-wan Kenobi at that, and you already had the councils attention, so they all tried to stay away from you” you took a deep breath, swallowing down the slight shake in it “I thought that was dumb and that I was going to be your friend so I went up to you and I was nice. And at first I thought you were nice. Maker I was so excited to make a new friend and then the next time I saw you it was like a switch had been flipped” Anakin’s disappointed sigh barely registered as you continued “so I tried to be funny, then entertaining, then chill. I tried everything I could to be someone who was worth your time”
You could practically hear Anakin’s teeth grinding as he clenched his fist at his side, leaning back to slump against the wall as he thought for a moment before speaking.
“When I first got to the temple I was scared.” He admitted softly, gaze casted out blankly to the wall on the other side of the alley “I had just lost Qui-Gon, the council didn’t seem to like me, I missed my mother. Then out of nowhere this beautiful girl my age came up to me, took my hand and told me that it was going to be okay, that I was going to be okay, and she said it with such conviction that I couldn’t help but believe her”
You waited with bated breath for him to go on, for him to fill in the gaps of your own story.
“Then what the council said to me about fear hit and I became ashamed of having been a coward, ashamed of needing someone to hold my hand, ashamed of being weak”
You couldn’t have stopped the small chuckle from escaping if you had tried “Anakin you are a lot of things but weak isn’t one of them”
He finally met your gaze at the sound, the corner of his lips tilting up in response “I certainly made sure it appeared that way”
Another silence blanketed the two of you as you each digested the others story, Anakin finally breaking it with a soft chuckle “you were an intimidating kid you know that?”
“I was not” you denied it with an easy shake of your head, barely giving the statement any thought.
“you were” he persisted nonetheless “you were the perfect jedi student, Obi-wan was always on me about being more like you. Listening to him better, meditating better, paying more attention in class”
“Bet that didn’t help the whole hating me thing” there was no resentment in your voice, a soft understanding if anything.
“Don’t you get it sweetheart” he smiled sadly “I’ve never hated you. I’m not sure I could if I tried”
You shook your head softly at that, eyes casted out over the alley around you, speaking after another short beat “come on Skywalker, let’s get back to the ship”
Anakin stayed leaned against the wall for another moment, giving himself a pause to study you before he pushed himself up and offered you his arm to help you walk with a small nod.
You hobbled further down the ally with his help, nothing but the sounds of your deep breaths until you spoke in little more than a whisper “you know you were so busy ‘not hating’ me I don’t think I ever got to know the real Anakin Skywalker”
There was a slight pause in his step at your words, his eyes shooting to the side to meet yours as he raised a brow “are you sure you want to?”
“If he’s anything like the man I’ve been around for the past few weeks” you answered with a small shrug “then yeah. I really do”
Anakin’s face broke out into a wide grin at your words, and you found yourself admiring it once again, for the first time your own mind remaining quiet as you did rather than chastising you for it as usual.
“I’ll try not to disappoint Y/N”
You chuckled softly at that, “Given your previous experience you’ve set the bar exceptionally low” you pointed out giving his shoulder a playful shove “ but I’ll hold you to that”
280 notes · View notes
mayearies · 10 months
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✩ ABC’S
sfw alphabet with miles. genre: floof
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—‘A’ IS FOR AFFECTION (how affectionate are they?) holy moly is he attached to you. he will literally take your attention away from whatever it is you’re doing and direct it towards him. 10 hugs, 20 kisses a day, sounds about right for him. he annoys you with it sometimes but he’s a cutie, so he gets a pass.
“mamiii, focus on meee”
—‘B’ IS FOR BESTFRIEND (what are they like as a bestie?) he’s a pretty energetic person so expect to do some dumb shit with him. a jokester but also will listen to you rant and vent about your life and will do all he can to distract you from it.
—‘C’ IS FOR CUDDLES (how do they like to cuddle?) hes big on cuddling. quality time in general is important to him. if you don’t like that he doesn’t fw you. in some situations he would be the big spoon, others he would be little. doesnt matter. in fact he doesn’t even really know what those terms mean. he’s also a fan of skin to skin contact to expect his hands to be somewhere on your upper body.
—‘D’ IS FOR DOMESTIC (settling down? how will they be helping out around?) would want to marry you as soon as his parents give him the okay. he’s down tremendous for you. he isnt the cleanest person (did you see his room 💀). he kinda just throws things wherever they are supposed to be. not the best at cooking, either. the only thing he can perfect are probably waffles or pop-tarts.
—‘E’ IS FOR ENDING (how would breakups work out?) lots and lots of tears. it doesn’t matter if you broke up with him or he broke up with you, he would be crying. he didn’t think he would be able to lose someone like you.
—‘F’ IS FOR FIANCÉE (how do they feel about commitment?) he wants to get married as soon as possible. he always rambled on about getting married and the places he would take you, the things you would see. you would have to tell him to slow down before thinking about all of that, but he wouldn’t listen (playfully).
—‘G’ IS FOR GENTLE (how gentle are they?) oh, he’s really gentle. he’s into the slow kind of love. he can be rough if you want him to, though. just not really how he likes things to go. he’s got a sweet tooth for you and you have one for him. only comes naturally. a few kisses traveling from your forehead, down to your cheek, stopping at your collarbone is all he needs.
—‘H’ IS FOR HUGS (do they like hugs?) he loves hugs. love love loves them. he can’t go an hour without some type of physical contact from you. he gives the best hugs too, he gets it from his dad. he likes it when you compliment the way he hugs you, you call him your little build-a-bear.
“aww mami, i love when you call me that. it makes me feel special!”
—‘I’ IS FOR I LOVE YOU (how long does it take them to say the ‘l word?’) pretty fast. unlike his other counterpart, he is pretty head over heels for you. he would probably say it on the second or third date you two had, of while in the talking stage. he probably doesnt even really know what a talking stage is because it’s his first relationship.
—‘J’ IS FOR JEALOUSY (how do they get jealous?) he’s not easily jealous. he would let you have guy friends but they can’t get too close. this man can get predatorial pretty fast. he would brush it off, dismissing it entirely.
—‘K’ IS FOR KISSES (whats their kissing schedule?) hes all for kissing. i mean all. everytime he sees you expect a kiss. the spot changes everytime so he’s unpredictable. but each spot has been kissed at least once. his favorite place is your lips because he likes how they feel. when you kiss him, he shuts down. but if he had to choose, he likes when you kiss him on his forehead or nose. makes him feel comforted.
—‘L’ IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around kids?) kids like him, and he likes kids. more or less he tolerates kids. with him being spiderman, many see him as a rolemodel. i mesn, he does have his own cereal. and christmas song.
—‘M’ IS FOR MORNINGS (how will your mornings go?) scrap the morning routine, it does not exist anymore. he will tangle you in bed with his limbs and hold you there until he’s ready to wake up with you.
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—‘N’ IS FOR NIGHTS (how will your nights go?) they're pretty much the same as the mornings. he just wants to drag you to bed and cuddle all night until the sun rises. something he always looks forward to.
"please come back to bed, i can’t live off of me dreamin’ of you."
—‘O’ IS FOR OPEN (when will they tell you about themself?) he would want to get as comfortable with you as possible. if you ask him a personal question, he might be hesitant to answer it but will come around sooner or later. he would let certain details about himself slip by without knowing what he just said.
—‘P’ IS FOR PATIENCE (how patient are they with you?) he's pretty laid back with you. he isn't one to get upset easily. but if he does get upset it might be over little things.
—‘Q’ IS FOR QUIZZES (how much do they remember about you?) he tries to remember everything about you. emphasis on try. sometimes he might forget and with acknowledging on how forgetful he is, he will write important details about you in his sketchbook.
—‘R’ IS FOR REMEMBER (what is his favorite moment in your relationship?) his favorite moment? everything he's done. but if he had to choose it would be showing you his sketchbook that had a section dedicated to drawings of you, or that time you complimented his nose.
—‘S’ IS FOR SECURITY (how protective are they of you?) he's really protective. but he can't always express it. when he has his spiderman suit on, and say he's saving you from being robbed or hit on by someone else, best believe he will step in with that deep voice to protect you.
"thanks, but do i know you from somewhere? your voice sounds familiar." "whattt nooo! i've never seen you before in my life!"
—‘T’ IS FOR TRY (how much effort do they put into dates? special occasions?) depends on the day. if it's pretty busy with crime, then he would take you bowling or something along those lines. if we're talking a normal date, a normal date for him is doing graffiti in the subway and running from the po po.
—‘U’ IS FOR UGLY (what's a bad habit of theirs?) he can be sassy, as sassy as you. he does this when he's irked or annoyed. he has the most eligant eye roll for some reason too?
—‘V’ IS FOR VANITY (how insecure are they?) can be pretty insecure sometimes, but you don't mind assuring him he looks good. sometimes, he thinks deeply about how he got with someone like you. if he could live up to your expectations. but him being himself is all you ask for.
—‘W’ IS FOR WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?) yes.
—‘X’ IS FOR XTRA (a random headcannon about them?) he probably has tagged you somewhere throughout brooklyn where only he would know. consider it his safe space.
—‘Y’ IS FOR YUCK (what are some things they dislike?) he wouldn't like someone who lies often (💀), makes the whole time he spent with you seem like a waste of time.
—‘Z’ IS FOR ZZZ (some of their sleeping habits?) he's a pretty messy sleeper, on top of that—he's a heavy sleeper. he can sleep through almost anything. so, here's what is expected. you fall asleep envoloped in his arms as he lays in your chest and falls asleep to your heartbeat, then you wake up to the feeling of sheets everywhere, pillows gone, and him spread out on your bed.
© mayeluvsu 42 version
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biggiedraws · 8 months
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okay you know what. ive been thinking about the time between chuuya shooting dazai and dazai revealing himself to fyodor. and ive decided that we were ROBBED. cause like. dazai comes out with a splint on his leg and his shoulder wound *not* bleeding through his shirt. and like, chuuya was RIGHT THERE. he followed right behind dazai when dazai confronted fyodor. so surely. SURELY chuuya helped patch up dazais injuries. at the very least he got the splint for him. and holyyyyy shit does that have potential. like
chuuya visibly dropping the ruse and asking in a panic if dazai is okay. dazai sits up and makes fun of him for being worried and then whines dramatically about the wound in his shoulder. chuuyas like "youre such a pain, i shouldve killed you right then and there" and then settles down next to him to help fix him up.
chuuya is talking while he bandages dazais shoulder (definitely not to distract dazai from the pain. definitely not because he likes talking to dazai. definitely not because hes dealing with a lot of strong emotions and doesnt want to think about any of it. hes doing it to annoy dazai, obviously). probably complaining about having to pretend to be a vampire and how annoying it was, and then dazai makes fun of him for like. his vampire teeth or something, so chuuya scowls and aggressively tightens the bandage to get him to stop laughing (it only partially works, because dazai does stop laughing to yell at him to ease up, but hes still got that glint in his eye. asshole).
chuuya asking if dazai can walk (but not like "omg are you okay???" more like "if you ask me to carry you ill shoot you again") and dazai makes a comment about how he WOULD but SOMEONE was too rough when stopping the elevator and chuuya yells that its not as easy as it looks and maybe next time he'll just let the elevator crash. he still asks him what he needs to do for it though. bonus points if he like. rips a hole in the wall to make the splint. you know he fucking would
they both know they should be hurrying- even without the fyodor thing, they should want to be done with this and get away from each other as quickly as possible, since they /hate each other so much/. but its their first quiet moment in a while (well. not really quiet because theyre literally always bickering. but quiet because neither of them are fighting or dying) and, while they would never admit it, theyre savouring the time together. and if either of them notices how unhurried the other person is, they dont bring it up.
do you get me???? i wanna see them argue like children i wanna see the comforting familiarity of being alone together i wanna see a hint of affection buried under no less than 20 layers of repression GIVE ME THE SOUKOKU CONTENT YOU COWARDS. sigh...... *opens ao3*
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patricia-taxxon · 2 months
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idk if ur still playing celeste but I think u do make some rlly good points abt sj.
First off I absolutely agree abt the maps in general being less memorable, but I would say that sj in general is more polished (sometimes to the point of it being sanded down into nothing), and generally doesnt have bad levels like sc had bad levels.
That being said, I found that the gm lobby in general is phenomenal, as it's the place in which mappers did not have to water down their creativity. Do u intend on playing red/cracked maps? I find a lot of them have rlly cool ideas that are executed well.
I do find it rlly annoying that sj has become *the* celeste mod ppl rec when it rlly is just a good mod with a big scope. There's also half a million nitpicks w sj's design but I will not get into them as asks have a character limit :'3
Also I am rlly sorry abt clord we are generally rlly nice ppl but trans woman on the internet moment.
Yeah, I could tell that it was getting a lot better at high expert & gm. I have a sneaky theory that difficulty at that level is kind of a design blunder no matter what, so you're forced to lean into it and make it interesting on purpose. going through the expert lobby in ascending difficulty was like watching a flower bloom, every green expert map just instantly left my mind as soon as I completed it but many of the reds were super weird or at least memorably jank & i found two of my favorite maps of the bunch in that range, fortress fall and summit down-side. upward trend seemed to be continuing for gm, i loved loved loved flipside cliffside.
everyone wanted me to play shattersong but i left such a bad impression on that community that its mapper said she'd disregard anything good i said about it, like i dunno how to engage with this space in a way that doesn't make me feel like shit. some of that old desire to grind is starting to come back though, who knows.
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eternalera · 4 months
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i like that we finally get to see what pushes alastors buttons in episode five.
we actually see him mad. you can argue that with vox hes also mad at the end of their song in 'stayed gone' but it doesnt really seem like that. its him threatening vox yes but in the end hes not mad. he isnt really losing his cool. its him basically just saying that hes still in charge
also throughout their whole song alastor doesnt really provoke vox, hes passive aggressive. never interrupting him and when their screens are split and he only pokes him once yet that one time was enough to send vox and black out the entirety of hell (although this mightve been alastor)
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throughout the entiry of their song vox is constantly trying to block alastor to say 'he isnt a threat hes a nobody' but as we can see he's clearly failing. and as with each passing second vox gets more annoyed and as i said. he ends up causing a MASSIVE blackout one that takes over all of hell
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throughout this entire time though alastor doesnt flinch. he doesnt fight for the spotlight because he doesnt need it. vox is making a fool of himself like alastor probably expects him to based on past encounters that we dont see.
yet with lucifer they probably have some sort of history.
alastor actually feels somewhat threatened/doesnt want lucifer there (whether if lilith told him not to assuming that he owes his soul to lilith but you get the point). he wants lucifer gone. not only that but hes pushing him saying that hes basically like a father to charlie already.
alastor is trying to replace lucifer but remember that lucifer not only the king of the pride ring (i forgot the terminology alr-) but hes also the king of hell.
despite lucifer acting like a joke in the singular episode that we see him in he is the most powerful being in hell. hes more powerful than lilith or charlie (and once again assuming that lilith owns alastor a pretty damn powerful being shes really fucking powerful).
if lucifer wants he could probably obliterate alastor in less than a damn second, yet he doesnt for a few reasons
hes important to charlie
hes important to what charlies doing
this basically gives alastor invincibility against lucifer going bonkers on him and killing him. then again why doesnt lucifer just help charlie? well hes probably got more important things to do (despite what we saw of him) and hes given up on the sinners.
he gave them freewill and never got to see the good done with it. he most likely never saw the people who went to heaven so for all he knows everyone ended up down in hell and are doing shit things with what he gave them.
he most likely wants them gone and wants the extermination to happen because he thinks that they dont deserve a second chance unlike his daughter. but remember that he also loves charlie, thats his fucking daughter and when she calls him he gets excited he wants charlie to like him. but that being said he doesnt think the sinners deserve his kindness anymore after they took his gift and basically made a fool of him.
so lucifer wont help charlie so he just has alastor help her instead to keep her happy.
not only this but in the song 'hells greatest dad' (i think its called that) unlike in 'stayed gone' theyre both fighting for attention. charlies attention.
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once again we dont know what beef theyve got with each other but its most likely because of either the past or whether or not that lilith owns alastor and told him to fuck with lucifer.
in this scene we see the color constantly change and them constantly kicking each other out with them both losing their cool and making a fool of themselves. theyre an actual match for each other
lucifer is an actual threat and so is alastor for reasons that we dont know yet. this makes them have to prove their worth to charlie over whos more powerful and who can help her more because even though lucifer doesnt want to help the sinners (and most likely wont) he wants to make her happy.
and even though we dont know why alastor hates lucifer its probably most likely to do with whoever owns his soul and whatnot along with he needs lucifer just out of the picture and that isnt as easy to do as he'd like.
also damn did this become a rant and get off topic-
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