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cake-and-spades · 3 years

Note

Tell me about internalized arophobia please, thanks

I have been struggling with putting down my thoughts/ feelings for this ask for months, and I finally just did what I do best and did some research. I looked up internalized homophobia and obviously not all of these will apply to arophobia (or to everyone) but it’s a good place to expand from! I’m so sorry this took so long anon 😭

Bold text is taken from the Rainbow Project (LINK) with anything I added in plain text underneath.

Trigger warnings for things mentioned but not described in detail, take care of yourselves y'all:

homophobia / transphobia / biphobia / arophobia / etc

self harm

abusive relationships

drinking / substance abuse

suicide

pedophilia

(if I've missed any please let me know and I'll add them above)

01. Denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others.

Fun fact: for the first like 2 weeks after I found out what aromanticism was I refused to identify as aro because of like, the crushing fear and disappointment and the belief I’d never be happy. And of course I *had* to experience romantic attraction some day, I just *had* to, *everyone* does. (Oof)

02. Attempts to alter or change your sexual your orientation.

Do I even need to explain this one? “Maybe if I just try hard enough I’ll start liking someone. Fake it till you make it, right?”

03. Feeling you are never good enough.

Personally, whenever I used to think about platonically dating people/ having nonromantic partner(s) I’d start getting down on myself and think “they deserve a Real (TM) partner, a Romantic (TM) partner, they deserve more than the disappointment I would be” or alternately, the thought that I’m disappointing my parents by not giving them a child-in-law & grandchildren

04. Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive behaviours.

Not sure exactly how this one could relate, perhaps in obsessively seeking out romance (in fiction or irl) or exposing yourself to it knowing it makes you uncomfortable ?

05. Under-achievement or even over-achievement as a bid for acceptance.

The whole who gets to be an "ally" because they aren't *really* LGBT+ comes to mind

06. Low self esteem, negative body image.

Self explanatory, but I will also add: not wanting to be seen as a Romantic Person, policing your actions and your body / body language so no one could ever see you as anything other than Platonic or friends with benefits. Disliking the parts of you that are typically coded by society to be "romantic" things.

07. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the LGBT community.

Self explanatory but also: Gatekeeping. I’m thinking especially gatekeeping people who aren’t “aro enough” to be considered aro (you will always be "aro enough" as long as you ID as aro!)

08. Contempt for those at earlier stages of the coming out process.

Contempt for “cringey aros / aces who make the whole community look bad / childish / heartless” when they are just discovering themselves and having a good time (and many times are just kids)

09. Denial that homophobia, heterosexism, biphobia or sexism are serious social problems.

The thought: “Sure arophobia exists, but it isn’t a *real* problem like homophobia / transphobia / biphobia” Alternately: “yeah it’s not perfect, but it’s not like I have *real problems*”

Also a personal note: I didn't like. recognize that we live in an arophobic society? Like society definitely wasn't built for us but Baby Aro me refused to understand that.

10. Contempt for those that are not like ourselves or contempt for those who seem like ourselves. Sometimes distancing by engaging in homophobic behaviours – ridicule, harassment, verbal or physical attacks on other LGB people.

This one is similar to the ones above.

11. Projection of prejudice onto another target group.

Terfs, gatekeepers, etc

12. Becoming psychologically abused or abusive or remaining in an abusive relationship.

Self explanatory :( But especially: staying in a relationship even though it's hurting you, whether because of your partner or just because it isn't a good fit for you as an aro person.

13. Attempts to pass as heterosexual, sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social approval or in hope of ‘being cured’.

Y’all ever faked a crush or just chosen one at random? Y’all ever dated someone you knew you didn’t “like” like while hoping you’d catch feelings someday or thinking it was like, the natural “next step” for your friendship? Y’all ever fear that some day everyone would find out you “”weren’t normal?”” Y’all ever cry bc you know you’ll never love a partner the way they’ll love you, because their love is “”more pure/ real”” or some bullshit???? It's the internalized arophobia 😌

14. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives.

"They won't like me anymore when they realize I'm not the same as them" "They'll see me differently" etc etc etc

15. Shame or depression; defensiveness; anger or bitterness.

Self explanatory :(

16. School truancy or dropping out of school. Also, work place absenteeism or reduced productivity.

Self explanatory, avoidance of problems and people

17. Continual self-monitoring of one’s behaviours, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.

This one seems like it would tie in with #6, specifically monitoring yourself for the Correct Amount of romance, even if you're faking it.

18. Clowning as a way of acting out society’s negative stereotypes.

I have nothing to add here

19. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community leaders.

I don't think I need to elaborate on this one askdjfdkj

20. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for fear of being seen as a paedophile.

God I don’t even know why I have this specific internalized arophobia/homophobia. Like??? It doesn’t make sense from an aro perspective but boy do I got it. I love kids and I have an education degree, but am still constantly afraid people see me as a creep

21. Conflicts with the law.

22. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking behaviours-including risk for HIV and other STIs.

Lack of care and respect for self :(

23. Separating sex and love, or fear of intimacy. Sometimes low or lack of sexual drive or celibacy.

I mean some of this is natural and healthy for aros by nature of being aro, but fear of intimacy. Fear of being Known

These last two are self explanatory :(

24. Substance abuse, including drink and drugs.

25. Thinking about suicide, attempting suicide, death by suicide.

https://www.rainbow-project.org/internalised-homophobia/

#asks #arophobia #aromantic

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fanficsandfluff · 3 years

Text

The Snyder Cut: Headcanons (mostly of the tickly nature)

Bruce Wayne (Batman) ~ Batfleck, my love

He’s such a lover boy, and I can say that though I don’t exactly know how to explain what I mean. You just gotta understand.

He cares so strongly about EVERYONE. e v e r y o n e. Alfred, fucking loves the guy, jokes with him. The fucking “This is Alfred, I work for him.” MY MAN, STOP!

I think he just really wants to get along with everyone and wants everyone to get along in general.

But he lowkey crushes on Diana (at least in his mind, he’s keeping it lowkey, but we all see what’s happening)

I love the idea of this big hunk of a man getting soft with someone like Diana.

She makes him genuinely laugh this one time by saying something funny, and then they’re both laughing together.

Bruce definitely has one of those laughs where he throws his head back and shit and you can see his like Adam’s apple bobbing and everything.

But that’s if he’s really laughing.

And he has loud “HA”’s that are like really short but loud and then he kinda just snickers to himself for a while, holding his stomach.

And dude, the scene in freaking uhh… i think it’s BvS I’m not 100% (maybe i fucking imagined it who knows) where she like comes over to him and is fixing his wound….. tickle scenario hand picked from the gods right there

I can see a whole, “Woah!” from Bruce when Diana traces her fingers on some sensitive skin. And that Gal Godot smile is on her in an INSTANT.

Bruce will laugh if he’s with the right person. Like I headcanon that if he’s being tickled, he will laugh if it’s done by Diana or Barry, then like he’ll be forced to laugh if it’s Clark bc he overpowers the poor bat, but then he just has these hilarious bouts of angry growls and chuckles if Arthur is going after him.

I can’t even write about Batfleck being a ler because I will literally explode, so I’m done here

(((((butseriouslyifanyonewantstotalklerbatfleckwithmehmuplz)))))

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman)

I know the GIF isn’t from ZSJL but just let me live, ok? (Also I couldn’t find the one of Gal wiggling her fingers YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT)

First off, Gal is the most horrible queen of giggles. I’ve seen those blooper reels. My god, girl, how do you keep getting hired?

SHE HAS SUCH A BIG SMILE IT’S LIKE THE ROCK IDK HOW THEIR TEETH AND MOUTH GET SO WIDE LOOKING

Diana will start tickle fights without a doubt.

She’s already very trustful and I also feel pretty handsy with people, especially those she may feel close to. So if she’s playful, you best watch out.

Her favorite targets are Bruce and Barry. I will not take criticism. Diana attacking Barry and reducing him to panicky shrieky laughs is my #1 thought. It’s not even living rent free, I’m commissioning it to be there.

Diana is one to laugh with her victims. She will wreck them and have a great time doing so.

She’ll be ticklish if she wants to be, but it isn’t often she gets pinned and tickled or anything like that.

The guys try to stay away from her or not go after her with tickles for fear of retaliation.

AQUAMAN, CYBORG, SUPERMAN, AND THE FLASH UNDER THE CUT

Arthur Curry (Aquaman)

So…. my man isn’t really ticklish. I really don’t think he is, I feel like his Atlantean genes make his skin a special kind of hard, if that makes sense?

THAT BEING SAID ARTHUR IS THE BIGGEST LER OMGGG

He’ll try and act all cool and ‘whatever’ around the League cuz that’s kind of his persona.

But he slowly gets to like them more and more and his playful side starts to come out.

He’ll tickle Barry out of pure annoyance. Like if Barry makes any kind of comment, he’ll just point his finger out and get that glint in his eye and Barry is sprinting for the hills.

Here’s my favorite headcanon: Arthur will tickle Bruce because he knows it pisses him off when he does it. Bruce will fight back and keep Arthur in his sights at all time and curse and growl at him. And Arthur thinks it’s hilarious.

Arthur as a ler will taunt and tease until the cows come home

“Huh, big guy? What’s that? Ahawww that’s what I thought!... Not so fast/tough/etc. now!... I will wreck you.”

Victor Stone (Cyborg)

Unfortunately… not ticklish. :(

But this boy has the sweetest laugh you will ever hear, and I will die on that hill.

Now that he has friends (superpowered friends, no less), he can slowly come alive and be himself.

I can see Victor not getting involved in tickle fights at first, but at a certain point he’ll be all like, “Okay, step aside so we can do this right” and just PIN THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS BEING TICKLED. His extra robot arms are killer!

Okay, when he laughs for the first time in front of the group, there’s that cliche moment of pause where everything stops and everyone just stares and listens to him. It’s so rare to hear him laugh because the poor kid barely even smiled around them in the beginning.

He SMIRKS

Now hear me out on this…

Okay, so half a face. Great. Weird. We love it. But you can see all of mischievous Victor when the guy SMIRKS. You see his eye squint and you can swear his robot eye gets a gleam of a different color.

Wait honestly as I was writing that, the thought of Victor’s eye and like his apparatus changing color based on his mood is golden.

Me sitting here, lowkey wishing Victor’s robot body had some kind of cuddly mode like Baymax lmfaoooo

Like the defense mode his body went into when he was around resurrected Supes, but for cuddles and being cute.

Clark Kent (Superman)

I was debating even including any headcanons for Superman bc I don’t care about him much, honestly.

I am v happy they kept in the whole ‘him staring at Flash through the speed storm’ scene bc I laughed so hard at that the first time i saw Josstice League in the theater.

Also I didn’t really like the black superman costume??? I’m not a comic buff, so I’m assuming that’s why. I am like the one person who missed the color from the Josstice League cut. Don’t miss the stupid red sky in the finale, but I miss every other ounce of color that was just SUCKED right out of the Snyder Cut.

Clark and Bruce are besties now, I don’t make the rules. Bruce bought the man his house back. By buying the bank. He’ll take care of him.

And I’ve always simped for those two ever since BvS, bc I’ve already written like two fics where they tickle each other.

Clark overpowering Bruce to tickle the shit out of him makes me so happy lol. Big strong boy Batfleck looking thiccc over here… but put him against Superman and he’s donezo. Because as mentioned earlier, I do think Bruce is pretty ticklish.

But Clark can have his lee side when he’s feeling nice

He’s got that mighty chuckle, almost like how Thor might laugh.

And he really likes getting involved in tickle fights with the League. He knows all of them are sorta afraid of him on the daily anyway, but have that power added to a tickle fight and it’s fun as hell.

He’s gotten taken down by them ONCE. And I mean exactly (1) O N C E.

They all teamed up. Bing, bang, boom. Pinned him to the floor and they each took an area of skin and fucking SQUEEZED AND WIGGLED. They were trying to incapacitate him as quickly as possible. And dangummit, he laughed a lot! Like Clark realized just how ticklish he could feel if he wanted to feel it.

And don’t even get me started on Lois, he’s big on getting her to giggle and she likes toying with him and running her hands all over his body (bc who wouldn’t?)

Barry Allen (The Flash)

I waited to write about Barry last because I have so much to say about this character....

and then I fell asleep and waited until the next day to write anything down about him so now I’m totally not in the mood and I forgot all the salient points I was planning on making.

fuck you, michelle.

I got a weird relationship with this character. He was mad annoying in the Josstice League. Thank goodness they trimmed his bad jokes down.

But now....

when he got hurt at the end and he was like crying and shit oh my god I wanted to hug him

His character got so... good

And I’m now at the right age where I can think about myself in a relationship with this character with no changes or shame

We both out here trying to find that one good job after college and everything

BARRY JUST WANTS FRIENDS, GUYS

HE’S THAT CUTE

And then he got this whole found family schtick with the Justice League!!! Lookit him!!! Thriving!

He has total little brother energy

like, pesky little brother. Bothers everyone, looks over people’s shoulders while they’re deep in thought or concentrating on something.

Asks a lot of questions.

All the more reason for the gang to want to tickle the shit out of him.

Barry just reads like a super ticklish lee. Like his whole character.

Maybe touch starved because he said he needed friends, and I don’t think he has siblings??? (sorry if i’m wrong about that, comic fans)

I already named some of my fav headcanons about him getting tickled by like Diana and such, and I’m sticking with it.

Barry does flee. He runs away with super speed.... but sometimes he just kinda wants the tickles so he lets them have at him.

The chase is all part of the fun with tickling Barry, though. That’s what makes it so entertaining. And Barry isn’t afraid to be a little shit about it either. He will super-speed around his pursuers and poke their sides and tickle them back really quickly before they even know what’s happening.

Barry doesn’t exactly hold back his laughter lol. He’ll protest and scream and squirm like crazy, but once he’s actually tickled, he loses it.

Pure boy. With funny ass facial expressions.

And it really doesn’t help that I never realized just how hot Ezra Miller is, even though I heard he’s not a great person irl. Oh well.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Please please let me know if y’all have things to add, to squee over, to question me about... please. anything. i’m here for you. thanks for reading, guys!

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Hollywood!AU -(Anne xFem!Reader)

A/N: Warning, this is LONG and ends up abruptly. I hope it was somehow near to what you were imagining! -Danny

Request: 🍇-Ik I'm late but I rly wanted to try this out. So the characters and me and a girl named 'angie' Anne. It's basically set in hollywood and they both are enemies, but they grow fond of each other over time and start dating. Paparazzi interfere and what not (i'm bored). Can you make it really angst and some smuts? (I'm a bi girl, btw) @nandos-hub-for-dumbasses

Warnings: Mentions of smut and sad cuties

Twoidiots Masterlist

Okay so, you guys kinda grew up in the industry so you became “enemies” while being really young

And it was probably a silly fight, or maybe your parents put you against each other, or maybe you were always competing for the big parts on tv shows and movies

The point is that by the time you guys were seventeen you hated each other with a burning passion (as any seventeen-year-old does)

Then it happened: You were casted as best friends for an indie teen movie

You really wanted to refuse, but Ruby (your irl best friend) did her best to convince you against it

This could be your big break (and it was)

But only bc the chemistry you and Anne had on screen was ??? so wholesome and great???

You even made a sequel

And then it became a trilogy, with your characters going to different schools by the time they graduate HS so it’s really cheesy and heartfelt

but Anne and you actually worked out your differences during the process and by the time you finish the third movie you both actually cry bc you won’t work together again??

You keep in touch but both of you have projects and things to do, until three years later when you both are invited to the Oscars and HOLY FUCK ANNE IS HOT NOW???

Like sure she was always beautiful, which was part of the reason why you kinda disliked her but omg right now you wouldn’t mind it if she kicked you in the face

Anne sees you and rushes over to hug you, the paparazzi are going WILD this is the reunion of the bffs from that movie everyone used to love!!

In the middle of the ceremony you even convinced THE Marilla Cuthbert (amazing actress) to switch seats with you so you can spend the rest of the night with Anne

The after party’s wild, everyone’s there. Funnily enough, you can’t recall most of the faces bc all you can remember of that night is 1-you ended up drunk as hell and 2-right before you two started drinking Anne had already made out with you in the bathroom

What came next was pretty much the best time of your life. Dates, nightcalls, instagram stories, suddenly a month turned into six, then nine...

As twenty-something-year-olds, you and Anne have tons of offers falling into your laps, Anne gets a call for a casting call and she gets the main role.

This main role happens to have a romantic interest. Who turns out will be played by none other than Gilbert John Blythe.

He’s been in the industry for like two, maybe three years. But the kid’s a charmer, he’s got brains and he’s beautiful. Everyone loves him.

And everyone wants Anne to love him as well.

You get tons of video recs on youtube titled “Anne and Gilbert in love for ten minutes straight” or “everytime Anne undresses Gilbert with her eyes”

It’s alright, you’ve seen this before, and you can’t blame them, they have an amazing chemistry in the show and it’s only natural that people wants that to be real

But god, the toxic fans are the worst, the comments about “imagine having to say goodbye to Gil only to go home and find Y/N there... disgusting”

You should stop reading those comments, really you should. They’re unhealthy, and these people don’t even know you

You manage to ignore most of it until the press releases the pictures: Anne and Gilbert walking out of some random restaurant in the city where they film the show... kissing.

Angry doesn’t even start to describe you rn. You’re seething, you’ve been humiliated, your twitter and your texts are both blowing up with notification.

Anne calls you at least thirty times before she stops trying.

She finished season one and takes the first flight back to you, and it takes all of her courage, but she goes to your house as soon as she lands safely.

Then two hours pass before you open the door.

You were out with Ruby getting wasted, so when you get home you come face-to-face with Anne sitting on your driveway and crying her eyes out thinking you’re just ignoring her.

She sees you and she stands up, you try to escape and ignore her, you tell her you don’t wanna know, that she should move on and forget you bc she’s clearly happy with Gilbert

She says it took her by surprise, that Gilbert kissed her without her consent, but you don’t believe her.

But you’re also very drunk, and shit, you’d missed Anne so badly...

Her perfume somehow smells stronger than usual, and your eyes land on her pouty lips, you’re bitter, but you’re also desperate to feel her mouth on you.

You pull her in roughly for a kiss she was definitely not expecting, but her hands are quick to get all over you. Half an hour later, her fingers are in you.

You hate her, but you’re deeply in love, and you can’t remember where one ends and the other starts. You’re all feelings, and every single thought in your mind belongs to her.

it’s only when you’re completely sober, after the third -or was it the fourth?- round, that you decide to get it over with.

“Do you like him?”

Anne’s falling asleep with her arm around you, but she tenses. She wants to say no, of course she doesn’t! Gilbert would never compare... Gilbert shouldn’t occupy a single though in her mind

Yet, she keeps thinking about his kiss, even though they ended up in really bad terms afterwards

“I love you. Isn’t that what you should care about?”

That’s not the answer you want, and both of you know she can’t give you a real answer, you know her so well by now, you can practically read her swirling thoughts, all confusing, undecided.

“I can’t be your partner for as long as you continue working with him. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to quit, I’m not asking you to... I’m tired of the hate in social media, of me being the one that somehow doesn’t belong next to you simply bc I’m not the popular heartthrob—” “I want you!”

“But I want to be happy.”

Add yourself to out taglist!

Forever Taglist.

@i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @just-here-to-escape-from-reality

ANNE Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca @aleksosoto

#twoidiots writing #anne shirley cuthbert xreader #anne shirley smut #500 followers celebration #anne of green gables

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muwur · 4 years

Text

long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course”</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix!

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #daichi x reader #sugawara x reader #hinata x reader #tsukishima x reader #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi x reader #hinata shoyo x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #sugawara koushi #hinata shoyo #tsukishima kei

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the-acid-pear · 3 years

Text

Tumblr is ready to kick me in the nuts, so to avoid that, regulatory second post of this dumb liveblog! Let's go-

Chapter 211

Oh that's an insane coincidence

I'm gonna lose my fucking shit

Yujiro's fucked up anatomy is so fucking funny

He's just built different y'all let him be :/

I like how he's talking alone

Chapter 212

Erect 😳 (sorry I'm 5)

It's been so long since i saw someone open a bottle normally lol

Hehe hairy. Reminds me of Garland in a way, i miss him.

God i would fucking die out of embarrassment if i was on Retsu's place 😐

4001 🥺

Utterly obsessed with mfs being able to recognize the real ppl in this manga lmao

Chapter 213

I don't know if that's a real proverb but if Retsu says it I'll buy it

GOD I LOVE THIS MAN AUGH

Get his ass Retsu 😍

Chapter 214

What is a "rule"? 🤨

I keep forgetting he's missing a leg, están todos mochos estos protagonistas

Retsu be looking like a wet puppy all of the sudden mf went 🥺

Haha i wish i could squish an arm like that ☺️

This is so damn boxing like YESSS this is how every boxing movie goes so true!!! 😍

Which makes the dramatism funny bc we know Retsu can kill

OYDIRAITWOUROYE

Someone in the comments mentioned how if feels like reading with friends and honestly that's so true 🥰

Chapter 215

I love how he has some fans already

RIGHT THESE MFS FIGHT FOR NO ONE AND FOR NOTHING JUST FOR HONOR

Yeah no if a guy like that appeared irl i too would cheer for him

Retsu is having a crisis did he really not know this was all a farse? Like dude, c'mon.

Retsu got up in this ring ready to kill lmao

IYSITITSTSIIT nahhh i trust Retsu ~

"so hairy... but so elegant."

I just realized i got the song inexplicable stuck in my head bc that was the name of the chapter lol

Chapter 216

God i love Retsu so much i have so much hope placed on him

I think Retsu has one of the best character developments in this entire franchise (at least judging by so far)

YESSSSSS KINGGG 😍😍😍

Chapter 217

God i was looking like 👁️👁️ until i realized that was a mouthguard

I just came from the hospital and I'm a bit out of the loop lol

King shit i think I'm super out of it but that was badass i think

Jgzuggdlityfoh the drivers face 😭

I wonder what he will do with 2 million dollars tho

Chapter 218

Bruh his hair got cut by thin air

Did his hair get longer?

Baki really became a "well done, son!" guy

This conversation feels so fucking weird

Oh no one understands shit in the comments either, fair

Chapter 219

Yujiro legitimately surprised by kindness 😧

HE'S SO LEGITIMATELY SURPRISED, i mean considering how Baki had been since he's 13 it makes sense

I'm losing my fucking mind, yujiro i love you but i hate you

I like how most think this Yujiro is fake, i think he isn't <3

Someone called Yujiro autistic and i can't tell if they mean it literally or as an insult, like he IS a very picky guy who always wears the same clothes and has a mad low empathy... Murder is his special interest 🥰 /j

Chapter 220

I honestly feel happy for Baki, he's so euphoric over his dad hanging out with him lmao

I miss Kureha's bangs :/

Tokugawa please stop killing urself

Obsessed this man will literally die, unironically wondering why Itagaki would do that

Mfs speaking shit of Retsu's boxer arc... Stfu it's so fun :/

Chapter 221

Isn't 36 a big number for a boxer?

I really wonder what Retsu wants the money for, dude doesn't live a wild life, he doesn't often drink, he doesn't fuck, he doesn't do drugs...

KWHWKDHSUS THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGES THESE MEN'S GAY ASSES

ALI SR!?

Kinda sweet how he's doing this for Baki i guess

There is a guy defending Retsu with teeth and nail n like all true bestie <3

Chapter 222

Tf is that foot? Who owns it?

OOOOH SHIBA!!! MY BELOVED 🥺

Shiba against Baki?! Iit surely can't be, he must just be taking him to Hanayama, right?

TF SHIBA? YOU KNOW NOT EVEN YOUR BOSS CAN WIN AGAINST HIM!

GET HIS ASS RETSU PLEASE

Chapter 223

We are all wondering the same, Baki <:/

Yeah it is kinda badass

Shiba please, at least Baki won't kill him so it's ok but STILL BRO PLS-

Rip Retsu 😔💔

Chapter 224

Slender?! Bro this mf mad buff

I'm so obsessed with this like Shiba didn't show up in how many chapters then randomly decides to fight Baki. Also, Hanayama is gonna die of cirrhosis :/

WITH OPEN HAND TO THE CHIN...

Chapter 225

I wonder how this will affect Shiba

Crying and shaking Retsu get up 😭

Retsu i love your monologue and analysis but you are sort of in a fight?

Holy fuck Retsu is tripping balls

Chapter 226

Shiba please

>:<

OHDIRSISTDOYHD BAKI JUST WANTS TO CHILL PLEASEEE

FUCKING BITCH SLAPPED

A gentler devil... I like that

IYDOYDITSUSITURSDUT

On god is this how Yujiro feels? Thought tbf Yujiro used to make ppl hate him on purpose ;/

Chapter 227

"i will teach you something" *breaks your jaw*

Obsessed with who i assume is young Kaku btw

SPIN?

Chapter 228

Dude the shoes :/

Aw he's so nice ☺️

"that last panel looking like he bout to drop some beats but knowing the situation he's going to ve dropping a body"

Chapter 229

Poor coach lmao

He DID move lol

OBSESSED HE'S SPINNING ON HIS PEG LEG 😭

Retsu don't lose 😢

Chapter 230

"what did he get???" OUFOOYDOTSUEAIRW 😭😭😭

Shiba... Baby, you will die.

I love how nicely he's taking it lmao

This is LITERALLY Katsumi vs Doyle

SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT LMAO

Anyways good luck on Shiba and wanting to taste defeat

Reality is my phone reset on its own and i lost the last 4 chapters but that's fine, i need to take a nap anyway

#luly talks #baki liveblog #im enjoying this saga its so chill :]#its pretty slow but its ok bc its fun #you know its like kidna silly even like #i knowww its baki and all but this story makes no sense. when tf are baki and yujiro fighting? they keep hyping it up and then going sike!#like ffs Mitsunari is literally dying can you guys just leet that old man die happy?! /hj #i AM starting to miss doppo and my grandpa and the others like its fun seeing Shiba but :\ you know? wjwgjwgs #WE NEED ANOTHER TOURNAMENT SO BAD FFS...#im tired of street fights i want to see a proper fight again!!!#i mean i guess thats what retsu is currently doing but still :/ (?

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hackedmotionsensors · 3 years

Text

you ever read a text message that’s two months late bc you ignore most messages that come onto your phone becase 99% of them are the damned group chat that you hardly participate in or spam calls from democrats making sure you vote to keep Newsome (I’m gonna please stop texting me) or they’re from your weekly trip to get poke letting you know your poke bowl is ready.

And that message is a scathing reply from the guy you didn’t want to talk to in the first place who 1) made you cry because he made you feel stupid but you didn’t say anything so you got a little bit bitchy in response the next time you played games (my bad obviously) but you also took a few weeks away from playing said game because it felt toxic to you. You felt like hey maybe this isn’t for me if this is the vibe. Also you had other things you wanted to do on a saturday night no offense. So then you go and tell your IRL friend about this who’s a mutual acquaintence about what was going on and just that it made you cry bc you had to get it off your chest or you were going to explode. And then that guy goes and asks HER about it and she tells him (thanks a lot) and then HE turns it into a big deal when all you wanted to do was let it fester and then pass hoping that your ADHD would eventually let it go (shocker it actually did)

2) he then HOUNDS you over the phone because HE JUST WANTS TO TALK CAN’T WE TALK ABOUT THIS LIKE ADULTS. And you are physically and mentally not okay to talk about it. This has never happened to you before. People, men especially, never want to TALK THINGS OUT. They just assume I’m a bitch (i am) and treat me as such. I’m okay with that. I don’t want to talk about how you made me cry for nearly a week straight or how I wanted to kinda k-word myself because I felt so stupid and that I was basically a wreck on this whole situation on top of being unemployed for so long on top of a pandemic on top of not being able to see my family for well over a year. LoL I messed up the pronouns at this point but oh well. (are I and you pronouns? Idk I’ve been out of school for a very long while) So yes you create a slightly bigger problem by not answering the phone. But the other reason this pops off like this is because he messaged me in the group chat. Again a thing I do not check bc I don’t like group chats. I don’t like getting multiple messages all at once because the messaging gives me anxiety or something. It sets me on edge. Probably to do with my ADHD but if I’m trying to think of something else and my phone is blowing up its easier for me to just turn the volume off. HOWEVER on this occassion I accidentally let my phone die. ITS A REALLY OLD PHONE. And because of the pandemic the only people who call me are my mom and dad. Literally no one else except for my good friend Scam Likely. So I missed his initial question to me which he took as being a slight. So then he starts calling me demanding I talk to him.” Is it too much to ask for a conversation” KIND OF RIGHT NOW DUDE. So then i reply about how look i can’t do this right now. I’m kind of stressed about a lot of stuff (i was) I don’t really have the ability to talk right now. Then a week or so later he asks me again. That was also when I fucking poisoned myself lmfao So I say I can’t talk today why don’t we talk tomorrow. So then I waited all day for him to call. No call came. So I figured. Fine. You were the one who wanted to talk to me. I’m not going to call you . I didn’t want to make a big fucking deal about this in the first place. I wanted to sit in my shame hole and cry and then get over it.

So then.

I forgot.

I didn’t forget about all this I just sorta forgot about the phone call bc he never called me back. I didn’t realize in his mind I was supposed to call HIM.

3) he waits a month and then sends me that scathing text. How I’m a bad friend to his girlfriend (who I’m actually friends with but maybe not anymore bc of all this). He tells me how I was as rude to him as he was to me (I called him fat legs and admittedly it was harsh and mean [he’s not fat by any means but it wasn’t cool] and I felt bad about it. HOWEVER. I HIGHLY DOUBT HE SPENT THE FOLLOWING WEEK CRYING AND WANTING TO DIE. SO. IDK MAN. Also I got meaner AFTER the crying fit. So. Yknow. Not cool and not mature absolutely and I’ll apologize for that for sure. But I highly doubt I was the forefront of your mind whereas I had trouble getting out of bed or wanting to idk LIVE??? I’m not gonna blame this on ADHD but there is 100% a thing I suffer from and that’s that compounded rejection behavior where a simple rejection or feeling of rejection its PROFOUNDLY TAKEN BAD. Its probably gotten worse since I have no human outlet to talk to. Especially since the last person I tried to talk to ratted me out.

So I miss this huge text message basically telling me that I’m a bad friend. To not talk to him ever again. If I ever say anything to him he’s going to call me out. How I’m immature and a bad person. How I got mad over “mario kart” (that wasn’t what it was about) and that’s really stupid.

So yknow. I had to reply to that. But at this point its two+ months late. So it doesn’t even matter at this point. I’ve basically lost a friend I really really liked and thought the world of because of her fiance treating me like ....I don’t even know what this treatment is but he got really bossy and in my face about this and I come from a family where we either hold a grudge or scream at the top of our lungs at each other. I’ve never once been hounded like that. Which I mean is probably ACTUALLY the mature response. I don’t even know. It doesn’t matter now because I fucked it all up and I feel even more stupid than I did before. I want to talk to someone about this but I literally can’t.

Do NOT reblog this because its super personal and embarassing and I’ll probably delete it later anyway.

I was having a pretty fun day (albeit having it start late which I don’t like) until I saw this literally as I was leaving the house..

#do not reblog #personal

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willowistic22 · 4 years

Text

Please... (Redfinch)

Albert has been thrown to the refuge before. It was an ugly story but at least it prepared him from what was coming when he got thrown in again. But Finch? This was his first time learning on his own how relentless Snyder is...

Word count: 3302

Part : [1 this] - (if ppl like this i’ll make more parts)

Warnings: Blood, abuse, torture, knife cuts, restraints, mentions of death, beatings, cussing (no surprise there lol), in short this is a whump fic. I probably missed some warnings and if I did please let me know!

A/N: Hello, yes, I am well aware that I’ve vanished from my fanfic writing spree. It’s gonna be more common now because school is more hectic online than irl. Anyways, i came up with this idea when I was in the middle of having writers block from writing another wip and ended up finishing this one whoops. I also like ignored the remainder of requests from my inbox not bcs i don’t want to do them but i haven’t gotten the time. Especially since this is October and my school always have special plans on October so I’m sorry. But, hey I got a fic out! ENJOY! (might make this a three part thing if you guys want idk)

[ @jaelynn-is-slightly-confused i did it.......................... ]

The first time he got sent to this hellspace was years ago, and fortunately for Albert it only lasted for four days before he was able to bust out. Odd how he thought something would be different. He expected the treatment would stay the same, no surprise there. The bounded limbs, the painful souvenirs smeared all over his body, being left to fend for your own life, none of this was new. And yet, Al thought maybe something physical about this awful settlement would be different. Maybe painting the walls a different color? Cleaning the little drops of blood on the floor?

A funny idea to be thinking about in this kind of situation. But he needed something to calm him down. Something to distract him from the pain all over his body. The bruises from punches, the strangling feeling made by a strong pair of hands ghosting his neck, the cuts from a knife marking his skin, the pain in his wrists while they’re tightly bound to each other with a rope, basically everything that’s been given to him the minute he arrived here.

An itch in his throat triggered him to go on a coughing fit. It made him feel every inch of pain all over his torso as he reached for that itch. He ends up opening his eyes after spending a long time closing them.

His senses are now hyper focused on everything around him. Albert can feel the coarse cement wall through the back of his shirt. It’s the only thing making him sit up properly while he spreads his legs out on the dirty floor, just as equally coarse as the wall. He can see streaks of lights coming from the tiny windows on the wall he’s leaning onto. The only light source provided for this basement.

There isn’t anything in here. Most of the kids held in the refuge would stay up stairs. Rooms provided with rickety bunks where at least six kids slept all at once. Big scary men put on guard on every corner with batons, ready to strike when a kid acted up. You only get sent down to the basement, or what most kids would say the ‘torture chamber’, when the ungoldy amount of scars already given to you haven’t made you obey anything they say. And Albert has been a huge pain in the ass.

The sound of the heavy metal door opening bounces on the walls, pulling Albert’s consciousness away from the distraction forming in his head as he was about to close his eyes for another rest. Slow footsteps climbing down the wooden stairs echoes throughout the room. A weak light slowly gets stronger as the footsteps get louder in Al’s ears.

The sound of the footsteps against the wooden stairs turn into strong assertive steps on the concrete floor. Al weakly darts his eyes up at the big man, bringing a candle in one hand and a lit cigarette hanging loosely in his mouth.

“Good to see you again, Al!” Snyder exclaimed after huffing out a cloud of smoke, a devilish grin painting his face.

“Wish I could say the same to you” Albert voiced as best as he could, hoarse but Snyder could hear the hatred behind it.

The beaten up redhead proceeds to spit at his captor’s shoes with a glare. In return, Snyder chuckles out whilst shaking his head.

“You think that’s funny?” Snyder challenged.

“Actually, I do!”

In the matter of seconds, Snyder gets closer and viciously grabs Albert by the neck with a tight grip. He holds him up with one hand on the neck, high with his back up against the wall.

Despite his throat being seconds away from being totally crushed, he was able to hold up his glare. The pain is unimaginable, but his smile remains. Albert is not giving in to obeying this man in any way. Not even the fear he’s trying to assert on him.

“Fearless. I admire that” Snyder notes, curiously tilting his head as he examines the details of his face.

“Thanks. My parents are pretty proud of that too” Albert needed some effort to get the words out, but thought it was definitely worth the pain to see the displeased look in Snyder.

“And very stubborn...”

They lock their eyes in a glare, none of them showing any sign of turning away.

“I’ll have to fix that attitude…” Snyder exclaimed. He turns towards the stairs leading upstairs and shouts, “Bring ‘em in”

The door opened, followed by a sound of two men viciously telling someone to obey their orders. Not a moment later, a tumbling noise reveals a weak body being pushed down the stairs and onto the concrete floor with a loud thud. Their back was facing Al, so he didn’t know who that was.

But Al noticed the newsboy cap, lying on the floor not far from the figure. It was thrown away from their head when they fell down the stairs. The cap looks eerily familiar. God, did Albert hope it wasn’t who he thinks it is…

The two men from earlier came down. One uses his feet to flip over the person they’ve just thrown down here, along with the bound wrists with the same rope as Al dropping in front of their chest. With the minimal light provided by the little windows and now the presence of Snyder’s candle, Albert can tell who they’ve just thrown in.

His smirk slowly drops at the sight of the weak boy. His hazel eyes no longer glaring at his captor, but staring helplessly at the body lying on the floor. Blond hair no longer electrified as it used to. Al’s favorite face to cradle no longer looks the same as before. Eyes still clenched shut. Snyder smirks, seeing his tactic has shown some progress. And he barely did anything yet.

“Not so funny now, huh?” Snyder taunted under his breath, only Albert was able to hear it, “Should’ve brought the boy into the mix sooner…”

Snyder loosens his grip around Al’s neck, but he’s soon held up once again by two of Snyder’s henchmen. One holds down his shoulders, pinning him up against the wall, and another by the chest and stomach.

Snyder makes his way to the boy on the ground with lazy steps. Albert can see him reaching for something under his jacket. It was soon revealed to be a knife once he playfully glides it in the air while kneeling down to the boy. He throws away his burnt out cigarette and places the candle on the floor, not far from the helpless body. He grabs the boy’s chin to make him look up with his free hand, smiling like the devil when he hears the boy whimpering from his touch.

“I’m not one to like guys… but this one’s clearly a looker, don’t you think?” Snyder examines the face in his hand.

Albert’s temper was acting up, but his struggles to break free from the strong grip was instantly met with punches to the stomach. The bruises from earlier makes the pain hurt even more. With a silent raise of two fingers, Snyder made the two henchmen stop the punching. It gives Albert some time to settle in with the pain.

Another signal from Snyder, and the henchmen drops Al on the floor and leaves the basement to the three. Albert’s head was up against the concrete floor, taking in the cold and dusty texture.

He’s on the same eye level as the boy. A desperate gaze towards the innocent face now full of blood, water, dust, and dirt all smudged together on his skin. Al could see more details, maybe bruises or cuts covered up by the smudges.

“Come on now, Finch! You’re invited to the party!” Snyder said to the boy, bringing his face right to his own. It forces him to slightly sit up, whimpering along as his body is getting forced under all that pain, “The least you could do is appreciate the invitation”

It was the order to open his eyes. God knows what Snyder would do if he didn’t. The action reveals a pair of Albert’s favorite blue eyes, but fear clouds it along with the redness caused from what he assumes to be a lot of crying.

Finch never loses his composure. He’s that cool and mysterious guy everyone is intrigued by. Either have a cool smirk or a neutral quiet face at all times. He doesn’t express his feelings freely, so it keeps people guessing. But those tear streaks, shaky limbs, pressed down sobs in his throat, that wasn’t usual. Albert may have seen him vulnerable, but this wasn’t the romantic and soft side of him that he’s used to. This was genuine fear.

“I know you’re not one to follow orders from me…” Snyder started, guiding Finch to sit up properly. His unbalanced head moves along with the dazing motion in his mind. In a split second, the sound of a slap echoes through the room. Finch falling helplessly the moment his huge hand connects to his cheek. With a little yelp from the pain, he’s back on the ground, desperately holding back his sobs and scrunching his eyes shut.

“... But I’m sure we could… make some changes to that” Snyder continued, turning his head around to face Albert.

By now, Al found the little strength to prop himself up to sit up against the wall again. He snarls, pushing Snyder to smile to his own amusement.

“I see progress being made!” He exclaimed with an unsettling grin after noting his silence. He turns back to face Finch, “Let’s see how much of that we can get for today’s session…”

Snyder drags Finch by the ropes that ties his arms together up till it can reach the rusty old hook attached to the ceiling. He gasps at the pain in his wrists carrying his entire weight up on the hook, all the pain being stretched out. The tip of his toes grazed the floor and his head hung low.

The same knife from earlier makes its way to press on Finch’s chest. Albert had only realized his shirt was unbuttoned just now and takes in all the horrifying scars. It ranges from faint purples and blues and very clear red and pink lines, all of which are smeared across his body. The cold blade hasn’t cut through his skin, but it made Finch’s senses hyper focused. Lungs working at full force, loud breathing and rapid chest movements. He thought he was just playing tricks, making him think he’s seconds away from cutting some skin.

When he least expected it, the blade drew another line just below his collar bone. It causes the boy to let out a half suppressed yelp. Snyder dragged the knife so slow, Finch could feel every bit of the pain.

“Wait! Stop!” Albert could only yell from a distance.

“Thought we’ve managed to get you to shut up...” Snyder turns his head a little to see Albert behind his shoulder. He digs the blade an inch deeper into Finch’s skin, causing a little cry to finally escape his lips but soon was suppressed once again.

“He has nothin’ to do with this!”

Albert shifts a bit loudly. It instantly alerts Snyder, causing him to fully turn his head towards him with a glare.

“Try getting any closer, and I’ll slit his throat open right now!” Snyder growled, firmly holding the blade against the weak throat. It made Finch pull his head up to avoid getting cut, inevitably forcing his eyes to open to stay cautious around it.

Albert locks his eyes in Finch’s desperate gaze back at him. A silent cry for help, which only made Al furious because he can’t do anything. He wants to wipe his tears away, clean his face, and just hold him tight against his chest. Get the two back to the lodge where their friends are waiting. Everything in his power to get Finch away from any more torture.

Snyder smiled at Albert’s compliance, forcibly settling his body back on the wall.

“Atta, boy,” He said, turning his head back to face Finch. He grabs a fistful of blonde curls and whispers, “See? Told’ja he’d listen to you”

Snyder pulls the knife out of his flesh. Finch gasps at the pain, red blood dripping down his body. His breath becomes fast and uncontrollable once again. And he didn’t stop there. Punches being thrown, more knife cuts, and a hand gripping firmly around his neck while he growls words that shapes nightmares. The chest starts to add in more color to it. Streaks of blood dripped down his slightly toned body. Each of those marks burns deeply into him. With every swing from the fist, Finch uses all his energy to suppress his voice despite the unimaginable pain it emits.

Finch has been in a fight before. He knows what it feels like getting punched over and over again. But this? This is something new. He’s in a position where he can’t do anything. And god is he scared for his life. Albert won’t blame him. After a few dozen punches, his lover fell limp. Hanging helplessly on the hook and taking all the new cuts and bruises like he deserves it. His heart skipped a beat, thinking that he actually might’ve given up.

“Can’t you tell he’s had enough of it?” Albert shouted, helplessly watching his lover get tortured to near death.

Snyder continues to use Finch as a punching bag, ignoring his near silent cries and Albert’s pleas to stop.

“What does it have to do with ‘im?!”

A hook to the chin this time.

“You fucking bastard! You’ll kill him!”

Finch couldn’t hold his crying anymore, despite being told to before he got thrown in the basement. Snyder draws out the knife again upon hearing all the sobs escape his cut lips.

“Snyder, please!” Albert’s voice shakes.

He stops his arm and turns to face Albert, dropping his hand with the knife to his side. Albert can be seen on the verge of tears, and he won’t deny it to anyone. Snyder’s lips fell open with wonderment.

“I get the point already. You don’t have to keep hurting him...” Albert explained even further, desperation lacing his words. Eyes slowly welling up with water, “Please…”

Snyder scoffs, twisting his lips into the devil's satisfied smile, “Say that again”

He just wants to see Albert complying to him. Hear him beg to stop the injustice torture. Maybe as far as to hear him cry.

“Please… Let him go...” breathlessly, Albert begged. He could feel a drop of water from one of his eyes threatening to fall down his cheek.

Snyder approaches Albert, kneeling down in front of him. He uses the knife from earlier, still full of Finch’s blood dripping off the blade, to tilt Albert’s chin upwards. He glares at Snyder once their eyes meet, but it only makes the man smirk with delight.

“I see you’ve come to your senses”

Hopefully that meant he’d stop and let Finch back upstairs. But this is Snyder, he’s not going to let one of his detained kids off for free.

“But I don’t think you’re... ‘docile’ enough,” Snyder added.

He puts away the knife, letting Albert breathe for a moment. But that breath was stolen from him as Snyder proceeds to slap his cheek, so hard the noise echoes throughout the room. He falls to the ground, adding more to the pain he’s feeling. If his hands weren’t tied up, he would’ve already punched the crap out of that monster.

“You sound adorable when you beg, y’know?” Snyder said standing up to walk back to Finch.

Albert huffs out breaths full of anger, watching him approach his bloody human punching bag. He blows a strain of red locks away from his eyes to carefully watch what he’s going to do.

Snyder grabs Finch’s cheeks, forcing him to look up, “You’re definitely a keeper. Isn’t that right, Al?”

He turns to face Albert, watching as the redhead struggles to sit upright once again. He didn’t break his glare at the man while doing so, showing his own daggers through hazel eyes.

Snyder scoffs it off, focusing back to Finch. He unhooks the rope off of the ceiling, the limp body giving in to gravity and hitting the floor instantly. His breathing is slowing down, but hitched with a sob ever so often.

“So, why don’tcha have a little alone time—“ He grabs Finch by the hair. He yelped in pain before being tossed towards where Albert is sitting, his feet somehow complying to the push despite the ache he feels, “—and think about what you did”

He was lucky, Albert was able to catch him into his chest and lap. If he didn’t, Finch would’ve hit the floor and added another bruise on his face. Finch quickly scrambles himself into his embrace as best as he can with tied hands in front of him. Shaking with suppressed sobs into Al’s tattered clothes.

“You don’t wanna make him suffer for something he didn’t do, right?” Snyder taunted.

It fuels Albert’s anger to the brim. He tries his best to wrap his arms around the boy while maintaining his glare at Snyder as he makes his way up the stairs. The heavy door quickly opens and shuts not long after a dozen or so drawn out steps up the stairs. The basement is once again left with minimal lighting since the candle from previously was brought up along with him.

The moment he hears the door close, Finch lets out his sobs. Loud, fueled with ache and fear. Albert suspects he was told to stay quiet while they were doing… whatever it is they did to him to make him look like this. He had a few guesses about what it was, but Al couldn’t bear to put the image in his head.

“Oh, Finch, what did they do to you?” Albert whispered, carefully holding Finch’s cheek up to see the damage.

Finch stays silent as they view each other’s faces. Albert wipes Finch’s tears with his thumb delicately to be careful as to not harm him. He cries at the touch of his soft hand, the gentleness he’s been longing for the moment he got into this shithole of a place.

He crashes his face into the crook of Albert’s neck, sobbing a little softer than before. Al places his chin on his curls gently. He rubs Finch’s back and shushes in his hair. Albert knows it won’t calm him down, but there’s nothing wrong with trying.

“Albert… please… I wanna go home…” Finch said shakily, so soft Al nearly couldn’t hear him. About the only thing he has said since the moment the couple has reunited.

Albert hushed the boy, rubbing his cheeks against Finch’s curls, “I know. I know. Just hold on for me”

He continues to sob, a puddle slowly forming on Albert’s shirt. The dam for Albert himself finally broke, letting a drop of water fall down his cheek and a nose slowly getting stuffed. He holds him in his tight arms, as if he’d disappear the moment he lets go.

“We’re gettin’ outta here. I promise” Albert promised, a big promise to uphold too.

It would seem difficult with the position they’re in. He believes their friends are out there coming up with an escape plan or will visit them frequently to check up on them till a plan forms. Till then, he promises to do everything he can to get Finch off of Snyder’s evil hands. Anything to see his Finchy smile again. Even if it ends up being the last thing he does.

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blueboltkatana · 3 years

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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

#warning long post #long post #i am sorry #after intense study of this species i diagnose her with #gay homosexual gay #thank you everyone

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seoschangbin · 4 years

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Hi hi, it’s ya gal Rachel! To start off, this isn't really a follow forever but more of a mushy love fest. I was going to do this back in October when my blog hit 2 years but then with everything that happened... 😞✌ figured it wasn’t the best time! But since it’s the new year, I just wanted to spread some love to start off the decade, especially towards all the lovely people who have made my 2019 a little bit happier ♡ Thank you to everyone for making this such a fun & amazing year; thank you for supporting my gifs & graphics and interacting with me; overall, thank you for making Tumblr fun again! So to all my moots and followers, I’m wishing you all a very happy and wonderful 2020!

I wanted to take some time as well to write some messages to all my mutuals - seeing you guys on my dash + all your work (if you’re a cc) is such a joy and I admire all of you very very much! Thank you for putting in the time to making gifs/graphics/fic/etc. and I hope you won’t mind if I gush about you a little, even if we’ve never spoken hehe! Under the cut in alphabetic order.. she’s a long one sorry!

@00hj | karen!! angel!! first of all, everything u make is just the cleanest cutest thing ever, i truly want your brain!.. u are such an incredibly talented gfx creator and i get heart palpitations every time i see ur work!! i adore u so much n ur tags are also so full of sweetness n purity and 😞💕 i just want to give u a hug!! + the way u always say hi to ccs in ur tags when u rb their stuff. cute!! pure!!

@01degree | joanna!! first of all... thank u for filling my dash with so many groups, some of which i almost never get to see 😌💕 ur brain being multi af like me.. chefs kiss! also! you make such clean and nice gifs please don’t ever doubt that laskjd!! 2020 joanna stops saying her gifs suck! idk how u make them so clean but legends only! bls remember to be kind to yourself this year! 💕

@1095 | nicolle!! i haven’t seen you around recently but i hope everything is okay and you’re doing well! i have to say that your graphics are absolutely INSANE i don’t know how you do it!! the colours.. how it all comes together.. amazing! ur career as a graphic designer will be a good one 😌👍 secondly your urls are always so cute nd nice!! and thirdly back to number 1.. i just love everything you make so so much bls come back to us 😖

@3noracha | falak.. ur the fandom’s gem.. the sharpening on ur gifs takes my breath away everytime + the colouring.. omg chef’s kiss!! i didn’t know you before you came back earlier this year but i’m so so glad you did come back bc u are so full of love 😳💗 you make the cutest graphics as well and are just radiate so much positivity 💞

@bamgchan | henri! still my confident car selfie king!! so glad i found you through sagey.. i love all your content (ur graphics.. always so well put together!) and the way you interact with people is so full of energy and positivity and i adore that! i hope 2020 treats you well 🥰

@banghans | ollie!! all of ur content.. ur gifs! amazing.. wonderful.. iconic thank you for providing so much hq content for the rest of us peasants 😌💕 your love for chan and jisung is also so pure n cute when u rave abt it 💞 bls stop being so hard on yourself and i love reading about how you’re always striving to be better to yourself! i hope 2020 is a good year for you 💖

@binnieseason | emily.. a loss for binnie stans that you’re gone 😔 anyways i hope to see you back sometime because you make such nice gifs + the colouring on them.. so pretty and clean.. how to be you! i hope things are okay with you and that you’ve been well!

@cb-97s | miss li! y/a novel protagonist herself!! li you’re a burst of sunshine in my day and i love chatting w u! your love for chan.. too pure 😭 every time i talk to you i’m like.. dang.. she’s real.. ppl get to see her for real! might force u to meet me irl 🤷‍♀️ also queen of gfx.. always so clean.. 😍 i know it’s been a stressful year for you but i hope 2020 brings you happiness and love 💞 love u!

@changbeanie | hi ruby! ur graphics are always so intricate n pretty + the colouring on ur gifs.. so pretty 😭💖 thank you for providing like 90% of the changbin content nd keeping me well-fed 🥰 ur always so sweet to ur anons as well and are just a lil ray of sunshine ☀️

@changbinie | jo.. what even is there to say abt u.. still can’t believe i got u into skz.. CAN’T!!! thanks for suffering w me and dealin w me wakin u to talk abt middies.. + changbin arms.. i love u a little i think (?)

@channie | hi fishy! ur one of the very first skz blogs i ever followed back in 2017.. we ancient 😌🤙 i know you’re not too active anymore but all of your gifs have like. the prettiest colouring ever idk how you do it! i hope you’ll come back to us

@elfminho | min! i love the way u tag skz in your tags.. so cute 😭 star boy!!! cute 😭 ur gifs are also lovely as well 🥰 i think ur one of the first skz blogs i followed when i starting using this blog again n i’m glad i found ur blog bc i adore u 💞

@glowsvt | grace.. my little baby! i wish i could just !! get into ur brain how lovely nd wonderful of a human you are.. have more confidence in yourself! 😣 you make wonderful graphics.. ur style! cute! and you have such a sweet and good heart!! i love when you ramble about things and always appreciate how you take the time to reach out to me despite how busy you are 💕 thank you for being a real-life angel, i hope 2020 is good and kind to you 🙇‍♀️💞

@hanjisungz | britt!!! nerd squad let’s go!! you’re such an angel, the way you treat everyone who talks to you with so much kindness and positivity makes me want to cry!! ur truly just the cutest sunbeam and just such lovely lovely human!! thank u for puttin up with my late replies and how boring i am 😭 i also adore your gifs and icons.. which you know.. but always.. chefs kiss to them!

@huiracha | marie... first of all skz AND ptg? great, amazing, fantastic combination... galaxy brain 💞 secondly, u make such SUCH nice gifs 😭 ur prob one of my fav skz ccs and all ur pretty chan comp sets.. always look forward to them! thank u for also bringing me ptg content i never see enough of them 💕

@hwang-hyunjin | agnes!! ur topaz settings r always insane and they make your gifs look amazing!! + the colouring u do is always so beautiful!! the combo rly makes ur gifs so distinctive nd pretty💞 ur edits too!! just lovely 🥰 also the fact that we’re also moots on our mx blogs.. amazing.. i love a staybebe!!

@hyunjins | godleigh???? still one of my fav gifmakers ever!! perfect colouring.. sharpening.. best brain! 💞 rmbr ur skz x prince series... still think abt it sometimes.. wish i could be half as brilliant as u! i’m so glad we started talking bc u are incredibly funny and fun to talk to and i love witnessing ur breakdowns even though they’re probably way funnier to me than they should be 😭 love that u vibe w me and we can be mean together 😭 thank u for giving me this url 😭 thank u for being my friend, u truly are like. half the reason i enjoy being on this blog 😭 you’re wonderful and i love u a lot! sorry for clowning u sometimes! i hope everything sorts itself out soon bc u deserve some peace nd happiness 😩 and i wish u nothing but the best for this year and hope that the next year will be filled with good things 💖

@ifbin | mikaela.... u know i could talk abt you forever right???? ur graphics.. bro 😭 literally my fav gfx ever on this site.. u have such a vibrant + clean style it’s so sexy 😭 literally am in love with everything u make.. every time i see it i’m like 😳💖 also you’re such a sweetheart in your tags i can’t with you... spare friendship miss 💍

@jeonginz | bri! honestly.. i think you’re my oldest mutual from when we first started our blogs during survival era #ogs? 😳 when i found out you were nctmark... mind blown... anyways all your content is AMAZING even though u dont make as much for skz anymore msdg but ur dedication to all ur sideblogs.. galaxy brain 😌

@jinlix | kelly...!! still gazing at u across the river i love love love u!! how to purchase friendship? ur just the purest snowflake and a wonderful person with the cutest tags... ur love for hyunjin.. CUTE 💞 all your graphics are so pretty and clean as well.. dragonlix gfx never forgotten.. 😳 and you’re rly just a little angel!! 💞

@kim-woojins | emma, i know that you’re gone and closed pretty much but if you come back to this! just wanted to let you know that you were my fav woojin cc and i hope you’ll consider coming back someday 💖 your gifs.. always amazing! plus, you’re such a kind person and i hope everything is okay with you and things have settled a bit! sending you lots of love 💕

@kittylixie | moon.. honestly one day i just started seeing ur content everywhere.. ur gifs are so clean and pretty and just! mwah! you’re always so quick to gif as well i don’t know how you to do it! all the stuff you choose to gif as well.. best moments 💖

@kmwoojins | sagey.... still don’t really know how i came to be following you! 😩 but i’m so happy i am because you are so pure and sweet and i adore adore adore you!! 💞 love how welcoming and lovely you are as a human and still laugh every time i think about how shocked you are about jo and i... 😌 anyways i adore your graphics and you, thank you for just being such a lovely human, you were a wonderful part of my year 💖

@leeminho-s | hi lia! i know we only became moots recently but all your gifs.. so pretty 😳 and we never have enough minho content.. thank you for providing 😫 i’m sorry i don’t know much about you yet but i just wanted to say i admire your gifs so much and hope you have a wonderful start to the new year!

@minknows | hi thien! first of all.. your name.. so lovely 😳 secondly.. the colouring on your gifs is always so pretty and good 😭❤ the sharpening too.. 😔 just!! chefs kiss to it all, would take a class on how to gif from you 🙇‍♀️

@nochous | dez!! we haven’t interacted much on this sb of mine but hehe i loved our convo on my sf9 blog.. still always thinkin abt you calling kun daddy 😭 you’re such a fun person to talk to and i hope everything is okay with you since you’ve gone on a semi-hiatus! i hope we’ll have another chance to talk soon, sending you some good energy for 2020 💗

@prodskz | hi neha! i feel like you took a hiatus sometime this year (??) where i didn’t see you on much but i’m happy to see you a little more active on here now!! u provide such nice content + for some reason i rly rly love your icon 😭💗

@realstraykids | miss em.. secret santa FATED us 😔💕 anyways i adore you, we are the core of fantastay culture and this will forever unite us 😌 i’m vibrating at the thought of their comeback 😖 ANYWAYS you are such a friendly and lovely person and i enjoyed getting to talk with u so much over the past couple of weeks 💖 you’re one of my fav gifmakers honestly your mv aesthetics swap.. as i said.. 😭 amazing iconic showstopping! + the colouring on all your gifs.. so pretty 😭

@seungminhos | to quote you. you are far too funny to be a gifmaker 😣 but then who would provide all the good seungmin content.. 😞 you’re such a force of nature on my dash and i love reading all your thoughts bc you are Funny.. and your love for seungmin + how you always want the best for him is pure!! our sporadic interactions too.. always enjoy them 💕 even though i know you’re stressed about being on here sometimes, i want you to know that you’re wonderful and i appreciate all you do to bring more seungmin on our dashes 💗 pls stop threatening to delete your blog, i would be devastated 😫

@seungminsmile | aurora!! the one time i was about to have a seungmin breakdown and went to you... hehe you’re such a cutie and very grounded person (imo!!) and you make the cutest little graphics.. the little doodles.. how do you do that!! 😳 and now that you’re making gifs.. Queen! i hope your first semester went well! 💕

@seunie | hello nia!! i know we are still new moots but you are such a pure soul.. just ur blog title.. angel! you radiate so much love and sweetness 💞 your gifs are always so vibrant + colourful as well and bring a bit of colour onto my dash just like you! hopefully we can speak in the coming year, i wish you the very best! 🥰

@skzbffie | rayana... all ur gifs... bro.... how to start a rayana religion... amazing 😍 ur gifs are always so clean + i can recognize them by the subtitle font you use.. u always choose the best moments to gif honestly how to be u! honestly ur tags are fun to read too don’t judge me i am just an admirer and fan of u 😭

@skznta | miss sierra! idk how to put it into words but you... goddess of goodness? you truly radiate so much positivity and happiness and it makes me so.. uwu (for lack of better words).. you’re so so cute over all your love for science and i’m glad we got to bond over that! the way you’re always striving to learn more + improve yourself.. u inspire me 😳 you are also an incredible cc and thank you for bringing so much joy into the fandom and my life!! i feel very grateful to have gotten to know you a little this year 💞

@thechanboys | jem.. u are a GEM... 😭 the way i got u for secret santa i’ll never get over it!! you are just such sunshine and so fun to talk to and 😳💞 if u ever wanna abandon bin for me.. 😌 my fav number one chan/bin stan..! i’m so happy you got into skz this year and i’m gonna try my hardest to get you into some other groups hehe 🤧 anyways, you are incredible, lovely, wonderful, amazing i love u jem!! 💖

@tinyjisung | bea! honestly.. we are moots on like 3(?) blogs our multi selves.. galaxy brain... i know ur more active on ur ateez blog but i wanted to write abt you here anyways because I CAN! 😌 but i love all that good san content you provide + you just seem like a very calm n fun person 💕

@virgolix | nina. you’re such a cute person filled with love and you just spread so much positivity and good energy! you treat everyone with so much kindness and it’s so nice to see 💖 and if i can rave about your gifs for a minute... they are unreal 😫 the sharpening.. colouring.. always so amazingly clean + pretty + vibrant!

@wonstal | hi hi! okay.. i adore all your content, you have the cutest colouring ever!! + topaz settings.. so pretty 😖💞 even though we started off as moots on my mx blog, i’m so glad you got into skz and ateez + will be on your sweet merry way to sf9 soon 🤞 i’m glad we’ve just started chatting a bit because you seem super fun and i’m excited to get to know you better! i hope 2020 treats you well darling 💖

@yongbells | iana.. hope everything is okay with you always and sending you lots of love! i miss seeing you on here but i hope you’re taking good care of yourself 💗 also.. gfx queen... 😖 you’re SUCH a ray of sunshine.. the way you always tell people how much you love their creations is so kind and all of your own gfx are some of the most beautiful things ever 💖 we are so blessed to have you in this fandom 😩

#rachel.txt #oh man.. this took me a while to write but i hope u guys are oke w my messages 😭#i adore u all v v much and sending u all warm wishes for the new year + new decade!!#thank u all for making this my fav sideblog #+ to my followers i love u all and wish u the best year yet as well 💖#if i missed anyone.. bls feel free to shoot me in the head #if we're moots + ur not here i missed u bc i am an idiot. bls dm me immediately so i can tell u how much i love u

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neonwizardheehee · 3 years

Text

since today seems to be a day of rants have another one:

I don’T know why I still can’t bring myself to work.

am I just too lazy? in my mind all will be fine when in reality i haven’t written smth good.... thought it might be bc i don’t have ANY pressure. with my thesis i had smth at least and my sis and irl friends to keep me up. and now i obv dont. idk why it doesnt work online as well as it used to. mayeb I’m too goot at tricking my brain? have i come too accustomed to doing nothing? i thought about shutting down my phone for a few hours but... insta is still on my laptop accessible T.T and it feels weird to not have it open. but i guess that’s smth i can work on - to be present in going “offline” and work. as much as i love being online 24/7.... i cannot focus properly like this i have to acknowledge that and focus on fixing that. bc i know i love uni ... so why am i not doing it? it’s not even that i have too mcuh stuff going on ... so it had to be the fact itself that i’m being “online”.

- > be THERE for going offline

next thing is food...again i know and i hate it

i thought i had put my ed behind me.... learned better ways and accepted my body as it is. well.. joke’s on me bc as of now I’m at my lw for 7 years or smth. and i didn’t even diet. but i know that I’m eating shitty. bc of my t1d i don’T really have an appetite anymore (meaning i don’T pay it any attention) but now i don’T even get hungry. I can’T eat as much as i used to...which was a low normal amount i’d say. so yes it’s bad. and usually it fixes itself once i recongized this and figured out how to not do that anymore. not this time tho????? I’m tired all the time, I don’t have motivation or strength to do anything. I’m afraid to do sports T.T i don’t want that!!! last year it took me half a year to healthily loose 3kg and now when i think... i might’ve even lost more in the last 2 T.T that is so so scray T.T i wanted to do research and one tiktok kicked me even more back into that ed fear. tbh i just want to cry. i don’t want to loose my energy! why am i so afraid of doing sports? idk why i just can’T bring myself to eat - i fucking love eating???? coffee and sometimes cheese is the only thing i look forward to sometimes - the rest is just “ugh i gotta eat” T.T that is not me - that never was me T.T why now huh? T.T shit is so personal i dont even know who and what to ask tbh... i’m so scared and i don’t even know why T.T maybe it’s a mental thing?

the last month kicked me really mentally with the semester ending, me missing my friends, me recognizing how bad 2021 will be and how much of my usual self i lost bc i can’T bring myself to do the things i used to love. T.T

tbh the only thing that keeps me happy is talking to my girl and making memories with her. altho the missing is real - that’s new for me too and maybe i’m reacting more badly than i thought. or i just got too much into my head with all the ffs i’m reading as a coping mechanism. maybe watching gotham fucked me up more then i imagined. who knows. not me.

today i downloaded and food tracker app again and i already want to cry. bc i wanted to hurt myself more i checked the history of that app and wow I’m sad again. idk why IDK WHY this is happening. pls let me just work on my papers and enjoy my time with my girl???? why do i have such sad thoughts? T.T

when i tried to explain my uni problem to my parents they said to make myself a schedule and goals - and i wanted nothing more than to cry bc i know i cannot do that.

i think i’m slowly realizing that for me life before was better - before everyone cared about mental health - u only had to be a functioning human and be the best . that was smth i liked to do and i was good at it. now after the issues kept piling up and got names.... it get’s more scary for me since i find excuses to be not-functioning. whether it’s uni, t1d or sports .. practically anything T. T

now everything seems like a chore i can do but don’t have to do. and thus i don’T do it T.T how did i become like that? how can i change back?

thing is idk what my problem is. so i cannot ask for help even tho i want to and i know sb would help me. but idk what to ask since i became too good in downplaying......everything???

the other thing is... i have so many good things in my life?????? why can’T i focus on them? why do i feel the need to be miserable? that doesn’t make sense to me!

so another idea i have to fix this is give myself a new task. and not a task i do for myself (like make myself food to eat) but to do smth for others again! seeing it as i work better when others have expectations for me and i work around them to fulfill that - i want to do that again. instead of putting off posting o insta i should bring myself to post again and good content at that. so tell me to cook u smth for dinner or bring wine for a night out - i can make sure to do my uni work before and have brought wine and food! even dressed up bc it’s smth for you! bc even if i don’T care - you do and i should use that for myself.

i want to be powerful and cool again - and i want to be really proud of my achievements and not bc i got lucky or know the right people and are manipulative enough to make people say what i want to hear :P

(fun fact: while writing this i had “my demons” had been playing in the beginning and in the end it was “when you’re evil” so that prob explains a lot hahahah XDDD no I’m onto Alaska Thunderfuck so HELL YES BIICHES)

#idk where i wanted to go with that at all #ig i just needed to write that out #at least i feel better now that it's out #personal rant

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feisty-fae · 4 years

Note

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

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ktheist · 4 years

Text

story time: wartime child

warning: spoilers ahead.

this is where i rant, cry and scream about my fics. not all fics have a story time though! the ones that do just kind of have a special place in my heart ♥️

ok. where to start?

i think the how i get inspiration for wartime child should be a good start.

i don’t really remember though. all i know was i read @softlyjiminie’s to hold a dragon’s heart. the part where she highlights the forest made a big impact on me - esp being someone who needs to imagine the scenes as i read, i was easily transported into that fic’s world. (and of course fraener was influenced by taehyung’s shapeshifter character!)

so i wanted to write another universe. the idea of races being at war was already there since who knows how long and i already wrote an excerpt of it months ago - before i even thought of the main character being jungkook or the involvement of a certain magical baby. but the concept was much darker and made it hard to me to continue writing. initially, the oc was supposed to be queen of the underworld who got tired of hiding and decided to rule the humans. then war breaks out - that’s as far as i got.

but felt like i needed to do extra research about races and their abilities. and of course ya girl was too lazy to research so i scraped the dark themes of war - not that the current wartime child is light but it’s lighter than i originally had in mind. couldn’t have been all fluff since someone actually died lmao

so i got started again on the idea after reading THADH. it just started coming to me yk - who’ll it be about? jk because he’s easiest to write. is there a twist? a magical baby! and ideas kept pouring from there on.

and i’m so glad i took my time with the fic - didn’t rush it, slept on some scenes and woke up with a better version or addition. i suppose it wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for quarantine and that gave all the time in the world.

but i hope everyone stays safe and that this pandemic ends soon. there are people out there who can’t afford to miss their jobs and have bills to pay. i hope the government does its job and help the people and let go of whatever political, financial interest they have. and to my readers specifically, i hope they’re holding on and staying safe and healthy.

ii.

i think i’m particularly proud of myself for holding back mary sue-ing the oc. i’m so glad i made her human and stuck with that until the end.

her character is a personal landmark for me - she’s the first character i wrote that isn’t emotionally detached in order to make an oc look “strong”. in a way, that kind of thinking (being emotionally distant to be a strong person) is toxic.

i don’t know if it is for others but i can only speak from my experience. i’d been that girl that thought crying was a part of being weak and not showing emotions means you’re strong - i was wrong sue me lmao

but yeah, i have a soft spot for the oc because she’s finally the “evolved” version of my mindset.

i think more often than not, we tend to associate the words “strong women” with physical strength or having a sort of control over people. while it is part of strength, it’s not the only definition of a strong woman. i’ve always held onto to the concept that the root of empowerment isn’t breaking the stereotype but it’s being able to choose to do whatever the fuck you want - stereotype or not. you want to go to work, have a successful career life? go for it. you want to get married, stay at home and take care of your kids? yas queen. you wanna find your own path and skip college? inspiring.

so to me, the oc was strong in her own way. she had decided to keep her kid and live for the two of them - ofc it was dumb of her not to ask for monetary aid from the baby daddy but her pride is part of her flaw and i love it. she was prideful in the beginning and didn’t want to depend on anyone. but what’s empowering for me is she took a brave step to reach out for jk for the best of her child’s interest. and when she found out he wasn’t coming back after jumping into the portal head first, she stayed strong for jun and raised him by herself - ofc she had help from taehyung and taeyeon but friends can only help so much. at the end of the day it’s just her and her kid. it’s just - her choice to be the mother to her kid is so powerful to me.

but i guess i mary sue-d jun a bit. but then again, you don’t always get a magical genius kid and struggle to raise em because they’re not how you raise normal kids lmao

iii.

god i hate kids.

but there are some that are sweet and pure and we just don’t deserve them yk? those are the kids i absolutely am soft for. and whew the baby fever - i saw too many baby videos on my timeline on twitter so you get jun!

i don’t want kids mainly bc they’re assholes but i’m horrified if i had one, i end up raising them as an asshole.

that’s when jun was born - the manifestation of the kid i never had and how i’d raise him. but irl isn’t that easy, you might slip up and end up raising a mini you-asshole. and ik for a fact that a neutral evil (me) is somewhat an asshole.

at first, i thought of just giving him a minor role here and there but i’m a winger and don’t outline my fics so he ends up probably with more screen time than jungkook.

call it fanfiction but koo’s baby edition lmao

iv.

the real mvp?

definitely the manga/manhwa(s) i read prior to writing wartime child. they’re another form of universe that sucked me in completely.

i have them to thank because i think my narration got way smoother. i used to struggle with that - i couldn’t convey my character’s emotions properly to the readers and i think that’s what makes a big difference in whether a fic becomes liked more or less.

but then again, the likes may very well depend on tumblr’s algorithm. so at the end of the day, i think got lucky with the amount of notes.

none the less, the support i got was beyond my imagination. mainly because it was all fluff and angst and lacked sexual content.

not that i’m saying a fic needs to have smut in order to attract more readers but i think we should acknowledge that the ones with sexual content gets better audience and that’s amazing too. shout out to all the writers who are able to write amazing sex scenes - that shit ain’t easy 🙌

i wish i could thank every single one of my readers for reading and the potential ones who probably liked or reblogged as a “to-read-list”. and i don’t know if my sincerity reaches the ones i manage to thank. i’m not good with words and i want each respond to a feedback to be different and meaningful but i don’t know if i managed to do that. but i’m truly grateful for those who reblogged with a comment, it made my whole week.

and i remember kirbykook’s ask - i’m guilty for keeping it in my inbox for longer than i should. they’d asked about the future of the fic and what would happen after jun’s little sibling is born. it gave me a reason to revisit wartime child’s world and realize how much i enjoy writing that fic ♥️

so that’s all for story time! thank you for reading 💓

#bts scenarios #bts #jungkook #fic: wartime child #jungkook scenarios #bts scenario #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #bts fic

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jimlingss · 4 years

Text

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild.

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

#anonymous #👩🏻‍🍳anon #backtobleuside #youngfleurever #joonie-mono #haylo4ever #black heart anon🖤

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