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bbyquokka · 11 months

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Feeding into the Han delulu rn~ i came across this photo <3 I heard he wasn’t feeling too well recently too :( I can imagine his gf surprising him at the radio show after months of being apart and going up to him and smothering him with words of affirmations and kisses 🥺

(you write so beautifully btw! 💙)

and just like that, i feel ok again.

FLUFF BELOW CUT – MINORS, AGELESS & DEFAULT BLOGS; DNI

warnings: gn reader, established relationship, idol au, reassurance, pet names words: 0.9k ~ (967)

dont repost. dont translate. feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“you ok man? you've unlocked your phone ten times in the space of a minute.” minho laughs, nudging jisung's side. jisung gives his friend a weak and small smile, to which minho frowns at

“hey, are you ok? you seem a little off.” he whispers.

“yeah. just feeling a little under the weather, that's all.”

“are you not feeling well, sungie?”

“that and the fact that the radio station is so close to home, to them and i can't go and see them. it fucking sucks.” minho gives jisung a sympathetic smile and pat on the back.

“it'll be ok. maybe chan or the manager can give you a little free time after so you can go see them?”

“yeah, i hope so.” jisung let's out a soft sigh. chan, being observant and the leader, notices jisung's defeated demeanour and how his usual, energetic self isn't around.

the radio presenter starts the show, giving the boys a chance to introduce themselves. s-class plays, they talk about the album whilst having a laugh and making jokes.

he's trying, he really is. but with him feeling under the weather and knowing you're just a few minutes away, really puts a damper on his mood and energy.

during the small commercial breaks, his phone is back in his hand to check the time or to see if you have texted or called. the disappointed feeling sinking deeper and deeper in his stomach, his heart aching to the point where he feels close to breaking down into tears.

he feels lonely, defeated, like someone has unwillingly wrapped their fingers around his heart and is squeezing to the point where he can't breathe. he takes a couple of deep breaths to calm his mind and body down, to clear his mind of you but to no avail.

the cheers of fans fill the outside area. many stays have gathered around to see the men and listen in, to send them finger hearts and show them their signs.

he had hoped that seeing the stays via the glass window would lift his spirits but instead, he finds himself scanning the crowd for any signs of you; feeling ten times more defeated when he can't see you.

maybe you didn't know that he would be here or maybe you just forgot. he wouldn't blame you otherwise, he knows how busy you can be sometimes.

noticing jisung's spirits getting lower and lower by the minute, minho gives jisung a soft smile and a pat on the thigh. jisung weakly smiles back as he looks up at him.

minho suddenly grins as his eyes flicker to the glass window and back at jisung. jisung tilts his head in confusion to which minho nods his head at the window. jisung turns around, his eyes lightening up and his soul feeling alive again.

right in front of him, stood with a smile on your face and in one of his hoodies and beanies, is the love of his life and the person he cherishes the most.

“baby..” he whispers. you give him a small wave. he so badly wants to rush to you, to hug you and hold you so tight. he wants to melt into your body and soul, feel your warmth and inhale your sweet scent that makes his mind nothing but mush.

luckily for you both, in ten minutes the radio broadcast will be over. you watch and giggle as they teach the presenter the choreography for s-class, cheering and clapping. you take excited breathes in as they all say goodbye, laughing as you watch jisung rush off.

you sneak off to the back where you know jisung would be waiting. your body shakes with excitement as you run to him, his arms automatically opening wide.

“baby!” you run into his arms, the force almost knocking him over. he wraps his arms around you tightly, buring his face into the crook of your neck. he hums softly, inhaling your scent and getting lost in the way you feel and your warmth.

“fuck, i've missed you so much baby.” his voice quivers and shakes, tears spilling from his lower lash line. you pull away, stroking his tears away slowly as he sobs.

“hey baby.. is something going on? are you ok?” worry fills you up as you watch him sob, tears falling down his cheeks.

“yeah, i'm just overwhelmed with everything. i don't feel too great and i've been missing you so badly. my mind feels scrambled and i don't know if that's because i don't feel too great or– ” he rambles

“my darling sungie.” you inturpt as you coo and continuously stroke his cheeks and tears. “i'm so proud of you, you know that right?”

he lets out a soft whimper, sniffing and leaning into your touch. “you are?”

“hell yeah i am! look at you darling, look at how far you've got! do you know how many pre-orders you guys made on the album? do you know how many views the music video already has? millions baby! i'm so so proud of you, proud of what you have achieved and proud of who you are.”

“who i am?”

“a kind, beautiful, caring soul. you are so handsome, so soft and squishy.” you giggle as you squish his cheeks gently. “you take care of me and everyone else around you. you're a hard working man and you deserve all this. i couldn't ask to be for a better boyfriend than you jisung. you make me feel so alive, so loved that it's overwhelming.”

jisung is sobbing at this point as are you. your eyes filling with tears as you both laugh at each other.

“thank you, yn. i needed that.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too, sungie. more than you will ever know.”

note: i think i got a bit carried away with this, ngl. thank you for the compliment on my writing, it means a lot to me 🥺 i hope you enjoy this and lmk your thoughts!

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @myprwttyhan ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer

#mxriverse #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz soft hours #stray kids soft hours #skz soft thoughts #stray kids soft thoughts #han jisung #jisung #jisung fluff #han jisung fluff #jisung x you #jisung x reader #han jisung x you #han jisung x reader #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader

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saintchrollo · 2 years

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machi x reader. pillow princess!reader, stone butch machi (no ! bc canon, next). anyways this is a very specific dynamic. unbeta'd. im horny. minors do not interact.

it’s only after she steps out of the shower that machi sees your text. drying off her hair, she picks up her phone and freezes.

coucou i have sauv blanc (with me, for us) and i am incredibly horny so i am on my way i miss ur face and even if ur not In The Mood i miss You x

sent ten minutes ago. machi freezes, before setting her phone on the table. she curses the entire time she rushes through her after-shower routine.

the doorbell rings as soon as machi pulls on her boxers. she hastily throws on a random t-shirt before heading to the door. she takes a deep breath to act normal, because it’s hard to be normal around you. it’s hard to keep her composure when she’s near you.

she opens the door and has to take another breath. it works against her. you smell wonderful, soft honeyed ouhd that fills every ounce of her senses, that will hopefully linger on her couch.

“hi, handsome. i hope you don’t mind,” you say, with your suitcase next to you. “i came in late and i dont want to deal with my apartment.”

“uh, it’s all good,” machi says, grabbing your suitcase from you. “you caught me off guard.”

“well i was worried you weren’t home,” you say, entering the house, frowning upon noticing machi’s wet hair. “did i miss shower time?”

machi looks back over her shoulder. “yeah, ‘s why i didn’t respond automatically.”

“boo, i wanted to save water.”

of course you did, machi thinks. “how environmentally conscious of you.” her gaze goes sideways at your giggle. “you’re a freak, you know that right?”

“are you complaining?” you ask, taking off your shoes inside and already heading towards the shower.

“uh, no. where are you going?”

“i gotta shower, i’m sweaty and like a plane.”

machi sighs. “i guess.” she’s not really annoyed.

you give her a big smile. “don’t be like that. i’ll only be gone a minute.”

machi pours two glasses of wine before she lays down on the couch, just as she’d been planning. laying with her legs spread out. tv on low. grey’s anatomy, because you won’t stay too much about it, because you secretly like it.

it takes thirty minutes. machi can only tell because you emerge well into the episode. steam curls after you, and you're dressed simply. one of machi’s shirts keeps you modest up top, and a pair of her sleep shorts low on your hips.

machi’s eyes follow you as you move from the doorway of the bathroom to the living room. the way you so casually drop onto the couch, getting all up in her space. cuddle right up next to her.

instinctively, one of machi’s legs slides between your own.

“what are you doing tomorrow?” you ask machi.

“nothin’” machi says. she has plans to go to the gym, but they can easily be canceled.

“wanna fuck after this episode?”

your forwardness makes machi’s thighs involuntarily clench just slightly.

“your insatiable,” machi huffs. “but yeah. after this episode.”

you get bored of waiting. instead of watching the show, you watch machi’s throat, her collarbones and her face. her lips especially. why would you watch a show when there’s the most handsome woman in front of you?

your lips migrate towards her, magnetic, really absolutely not your doing. they slide against hers all to easily. it’s her fifth rewatch, it’s not like she actually needs to watch.

one of your hands cups her hair, acrylics sliding through her grown out mullet. the scratches cause her to relax, eyes fluttering shut.

they flutter back open upon receiving a sweet peck on her nose. your eyes are hopeful, glittering and filling every aspect of her face.

before you can even begin to tease her, and to get you to stop staring so intently, machi leans forward and gives you what you want. lips slide against each other, eyes slipping shut.

you’re carefully maneuvered into your back, machi’s lips still working intently against yours. without hesitating, your legs spread to make space for her. she doesn’t dare break the kiss. her fingers slide against the plush of your thigh, lifting it up and securing it around her hips.

you slide your tongue against hers, curling and swiping and sucking on her tongue until a choked moan left her mouth straight into yours. beaming with pride, your smile breaks the kiss and machi continues to suck her way down your jaw, paying special attention to your pulse points. the nips she leaves have your thighs quivering with anticipation.

“machi…”

“let me take my time,” machi reprimands. “don’t rush me.”

you whine and flop your head back down, stretching out under her so your back arches slightly, so your breast press upwards against hers. not one to be distracted, machi continues her way down, pushing her shirt up until it exposed your breasts, sighing in relief. she bows her head to plant her face between top ur breasts, taking a deep breath of relief which makes you giggle.

the giggles quickly turn to hitched moans as she begins to leave little hickies on the underside of your breasts, one of her hands slowly massaging whichever breast she wasn’t paying attention to. she loves the way the metal of your piercings click against her teeth, how sensitive you are with you pretty pierced nips.

her unoccupied hand quickly occupies itself. fingers gliding over your stomach, hooking under the soft cotton of your panties. she gently begins to pull the fabric down, lowing her head to leave lovebites at the newly exposed, sensitive skin.

you bite your bottom lip to suppress the little moans. machi eases your thighs further apart, gentle to keep you comfortable. her fingers sink into the gorgeous plush, eyes trained on the way little hairs begin to peak out of your underwear. the cotton barely contains you, and machi is perversely thankful that not even victoria understands her own secret.

you hook your knee over machi’s shoulder, lightly encouraging her. “she missed you,” you say.

“who?” machi asks. she knows. she wants to hear you say it.

“my pussy,” you pout. “everyday she was lookin’ for you.”

machi raises her eyebrow.

“she doesn’t talk to me like she talks to you,” you huff.

a self satisfied smirk sits at the corner of machi’s face.

“that’s horrible,” machi says, without an ounce of sympathy in her voice. she keeps a hand on your thigh, gently sliding it up and down until the muscle begins to tremble with anticipation.

she places kisses down from your knee to middle of your thigh, leaving little nips as she went. every bite brought a clench, made the wetness on your panties ever more evident. machi couldn't tear her eyes away.

two of her fingers slid under the waistband of your panties, gently sliding down around the thigh. the fabric was pinched between her fingers and her thumb. wet. it sends shivers down her spine. yours too, at how her fingers barely touch you.

you let out an airy, impatient whine, which machi subsequently ignores. she slowly, deliberately, pulls your panties to the side, stretching them to take a better look at your pussy. you weren't lying. you're wetter now than in any of the videos you've ever sent her.

machi can't help but dip her middle and ring finger between your folds, from your hole to your clit, purely intent on getting your essence on her fingers, which she brings to her lips.

she maintains eye contact with you while slowly pulling her fingers from her mouth.

"you taste desperate," she says, and you blush, heat encasing your body from your face to your groin.

"machi," you bemoan. "don't be mean."

she raises an eyebrow at you, while her hand lowers again, covering your pussy with your pretty panties again.

you whine again. machi meets with with a soft yet sharp smack to your covered pussy. it makes your thighs tremble and a high pitched 'uhn!' leave your lips.

"that's being mean," she says. "but you like it."

and gods it's embarrassing. you just nod and cover your face with the crook of your elbow, letting out the tiniest hum of agreement. machi's fingers hook under the waistband of your panties and slowly ease them off of you. she doesn't know why you bothered putting them on in the first place, if all that was going to happen was you would end up here, in her bed, naked.

it's almost normal.

machi disgards your panties to somewhere in the room, and lets her hands roam from your ankles, up past your knees to your thighs. with each inching movement she pushes your legs apart more and more, until you're fully exposed.

she could look at you like this all day.

"give me your hand," machi insists. and you blindly do. she takes it, hooks it around the back of your thigh, and presses it closer to your chest. "now don't move."

one of her hands finally freed, machi lets her fingers drag through the warmth of your cunt again. spreads your lips so she can see what she's been daydreaming about for weeks. your hole clenches at the exposure, and a dribble of slick escapes.

it makes machi smirk.

her middle finger glides from your hole, collecting the breath of slick, before swirling it around your clit. you bite your bottom lip and your hips scoot closer to machi.

she doesn't tease you for it. not right now. instead, she slowly slides her finger into your heat. you practically suck her finger in, and machi almost feels bad for how horny you are. especially once you start to gently cant your hips against her finger.

"baby, it's just one," she says.

you lift your head up to glance down at her. even sitting up on one of your elbows, it causes her finger to adjust within you.

"look at my nails."

machi tilts her head to the side. "you think that you can come from just one finger?"

"i don't want to come from just one finger," you huff.

very slowly, machi begins to move her finger inside of you. a simple, easy coaxing motion until she can slide in a second. "no? how many do you want to come from, then?"

it's unfair, because she asks the question and swirls your clit with her thumb, despite the expectation on her face. the quirk of her eyebrow.

"however many it takes-- it takes to make me feel good." the 'o's are drawn out, as machi begins to pick up a steady pace of moving her fingers in and out of you. they curl as they enter, actively searching for the gummy, coarse spot within you.

"i think you felt good with just one," machi points out, "but you'd complain if i only let you finish with just one."

your whines turn into little, punched out moans, as her fingers keep a steady, steady rhythm. she can feel as your walls start to tighten and doesn't let up.

"c'mon, baby. you gotta have the little one to have all the big ones later," she says, coaxing you closer to the first wave of your orgasam. she lowers her head, fixing her lips around your clit. the moment her tongue swirls around the enlarged bud, your hands immediately knot in her hair, pulling her closer. her fingers dont stop their in-and-out of your pussy, and the saliva leaving her lips from where they're sucked around your clit just creates more wetness.

when you cum, it's with a whiney moan, your hands scrambling for the bedsheets and her pillowcase, your legs straightening out and vibrating as the orgasam shoots through you.

even as your chest heaves and your thighs stop quivering as much, machi doesn't move. she simply slides in a third finger, involuntarily bucks her hips into the mattress and moans along with you. she continues her steady in and out pace, and the warmth in your gut grows. grows and grows more than you thought it could.

machi glances up at you, through her lashes and up your body. your head is tossed back, your breasts shaking with each inhale, tummy quivering. it must have been a long time since you've touched yourself, machi concludes to herself, just as your hip buck wildly off the bed and she has to release your thigh to hold your hips steady to not break her nose as the second wave of your orgasam rocks through you.

satisfied, machi pulls back and very gently rocks her fingers in that coaxing motion inside of you, guiding your high down as her movements become slower and slower. when she removes her fingers from you, there's a wet shlick that follows.

you breath heavily, eyelids barely staying open as you look down your body at machi. an unspoken agreement floats between the two of you.

machi is quick to lean up your body press a kiss to your lips, tweak your nppl ewith her cum stained fingers, and heads to the kitchen to get you a glass of water from the kitchen and the strap from her bedside table, unused since you were last over.

#machi x reader #this is an ode to my réponse to the when i get asked if i am single at work #‘i like girls that look like young m.a””’#there is something about having having sex with a butch and they’re just ……#SCREAMING INTO MY PILLLOW

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dragonbreakers07 · 1 year

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[In your inbox appears a small oddly shaped bottle with a cork as its cap, filled with a mystic drink the ssme color as the powder you've seen before]

Use this wisely. The entire potion equates to 120 hours of age reversal from the current form. You will be between the ages 1-4. You can drink the entire thing for 4 days or part of it and save the rest for a later time.

Scylla opens her [Inbox], a magical space that opens for everyone on the Yokai side of Tumblr, thanks to the witches at HQ. You can get and answer messages, and receive items as well.

Good. She needs a distraction. Her hands are still shaking from her panic attack, despite the last couple of hours she had spent under Azalea’s trance.

God she had missed that.

She shakes off the unwanted thoughts about going back and looks in the little glowing box, seeing no notes today. She bets Leo and Donnie get tons of messages.

However, at the very bottom of the box, is a little bottle with a message tied around the cork, the colors inside swirling with blues, purples, and one slightly inconceivable color she probably wouldn’t be able to see if not for the residual magic of the blade at her hip. She likes to call it Eldritch. It feels like a good name for it.

She reaches inside and reads the label, blinking at it for a couple minutes before it actually clicks.

Oh.

She pauses, sets the bottle on the table in front of her and mulls it over for a second.

…I could split it up. Save it. The rational, logical side of her says.

But 120 hours sounds good… Says the part of her that so desperately wants to just. Chug it all, become a kid for a couple days, fuck the consequences. That’s what… five days?

I should wait until I’m with someone, it’d be bad for me to be all alone like that. Says Rationality.

The tiny, still waiting impatient child inside her screams, BUT I WANNA DRINK IT NOWWWW.

She picks up the bottle and stuffs it in her bag. For once, Rationality wins out. If she drinks it all now, she’s going to regret it. She doubts this is exactly cheap stuff to make. And whoever dropped this in her ask box has to be very kind to give it for free.

Scylla. She hears Shirogane hum in her head. His voice, as usual, is soft, comforting. Familiar. Do you need me to hold onto that for now?

Nah. She shrugs. I’ll just head back to Momma’s before I drink it. It’d be stupid to drink it now, Zay’s…

She looks over at the bedroom, the door still open. Azalea lays draped over her soft, light pink and gold sheets, entirely passed out as she recharges the magic she lost putting Scylla under earlier. Her golden wings shine in the light, glittering with temptation.

I dont wanna bother her anymore than I have.

She grabs her jacket she had carelessly thrown on the floor earlier, from when she had practically burst in, panting, her mind screaming as she grabbed onto Azalea, practically latched onto her, and refused to let go. She couldn’t get Chizu. She’d mess up everything, (as per usual) and Azalea was the next best option.

Scylla pulls out a scrap of paper from the notebook she carries with her, scribbling out a quick, “Thank you, I love you /plat, hope you had a good nap. I’ll text you when I get back to my mother’s, thank you for helping me today. Sorry for botherin you.” and leaving it on the front table next to the door, closing the front door as quietly as possible.

#minific time #rion siblings #rottmnt #rottmnt ask blog #rottmnt oc #scylla rion #crollo rion #rottmnt ocs #rottmnt ask blogs #shirogane rion

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geocait0815 · 2 years

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Hey! Sooo...here is a prompt for a one-shot, if you don't mind:

'I am at the point where I dont even cry anymore. I just accept the pain and move on.' with MC and either Jessy or Lilly

I hope that works for you 😬💙

Hey! I am not sure if this is what you had in mind, but it is where my head went when meditating about your prompt.

I think I hurt my own feelings a little while writing this. So... Enjoy!

Chagrin

It is late afternoon when MC finally turned into the parking lot of the Motel off the highway, somewhere between Duskwood and Terrendale. Jake had agreed to meet here, just as he promised before he went into that damn mine.

For a long minute she just sat there staring at the doors leading to the motel rooms. The initial excitement has been replaced by nervousness, now that she was so close to finally seeing him. Finally, she was close to the man she came to know and love only over text and within only a few days. I must be out of my mind, MC thought.

The sound of another car pulling into the parking spot next to her snapped her back to reality. One last check in the rearview mirror and then she got out of the car and walked towards the building.

There was no need to approach the reception. Jake had told her which room he was staying in.

Standing in front of the door she raised her hand to knock but did not get the chance as the door was already being opened. “Hello MC.”

MC dropped her hand staring at the man filling the doorframe like he was an apparition. She had fantasized about their first meeting for a long time, but not knowing what he actually looked like it was always difficult to picture it.

"Hi, Jake.", she said with a slight smile, taking a step towards him. At that moment something shifted in his eyes, as if they were suddenly frozen over. Jake took a step aside to let her pass through into the room and closed the door behind them. It was a room like any other Motel room, with a bed, a little kitchenette and a small dinig table that was now occupied a by a laptop. Some sort of script seemed to roll over the screen.

"Is everything alright?", MC asked into the room since he was still standing behind her. Concern started to creep up on her. Jake did not answer but instead walked around her towards the laptop. He slowly closed the device and then finally turned around to face her. "MC, I...." his voice trailed off and he looked away again, as if he could not bear looking into hereyes.

"Talk to me. What is going on?" She wanted to cross the space between them, but her feet were like glued to the floor. She wanted to claim that hug he promised her. Only now MC realized how much she craved being close to him, feeling his touch on her.

"...I .. we can't do this. It is just too dangerous." "Don't you dare to start with this again," she interrupted him in a low voice, almost like a growl. "You said you loved me. That we were going to make this – make us work!"

"I know what I said." Harsh. MC opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She could not believe that this was happening, after all they went through. She felt tears burning behind her eyes. But the anger welling up in her refused to let them out. Finally, she found her voice again. "What are you saying?"

Jake let out a sigh, it almost seemed to deflate him. "We should not be together. It would never work. You deserve a safe life. A happy life. I cannot give that to you."

He picked up a key card that was lying next to the laptop. "I got a room for you. After such a long drive you will need some rest. But then you should return to your own life... and move on."

All she could do was stare at the card in his slightly trembling hands. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Her voice wavered between shouting and a dangerous calm. She was getting close to losing her mind.

"It is for the best, please trust me. My pursuers could show up any moment. They won't ask questions. You could get hurt or worse. I promised to protect you at any cost. And to ensure this, I will have to disappear."

That was it! She snapped out of her stupor. She swirled around and ripped the door open with so much force that it crashed against the wall behind it. And with that she stormed off, down the hallway and out of the building. In the parking lot, she took her phone out of her pocket, not even knowing what she intended to do with it. Her grip around it tightened as if she wanted to pulverize it. And when she felt a buzzing in her hand, she suddenly smashed the device to the pavement. She could hear it crack. Then she got into her car and reversed out of the parking spot. When she drove off she could feel a faint bump as her tire rolled over the phone.

A few minutes later MC reached a fork in the road. She came to a halt and stared at the road sign. A left turn would take her to Duskwood. Towards the right lay the access road to the highway.

Finally, her tears broke to the surface. Ignoring the traffic around her, she put her forehead on the steering wheel and started sobbing uncontrollably. This went on for several minutes, until she finally raised her head. Taking another hard look at the road sign she made a desicion; And set the turn signal.

*******

Two months later

As Lilly walks through the entrance of the pub, she is greeted by blasting music. It takes her a minute to orient herself. Then she spots MC standing at the bar. A man approaches MC, two drinks in hand and offering her one of them. But she waves him away like an annoying insect.

Lilly had almost not recognized her from the video calls they had shared months ago. The usually joyful and energetic woman now seemed like a shadow of herself. There is rarely any emotion on her face. It is like looking at the hull of a former person, going through the motions it remembers from its former life.

The fact that Lilly was able to find MC here is a bit of a miracle. They knew which city she lives in, but not much else. MC had only mentioned this being her favorite pub to Jessy a while back in a conversation.

Originally, MC had planned to visit them in Duskwood two months ago. But one day before the date they had set she simply disappeared. There were no texts and all calls went straight to voice mail without ever being returned. Jake seems to have also disappeared into the mist without any warning. So naturally, everone was very concerned as to what was going on. That was when Lilly decided to try her luck and try to track MC down. The pub was her first stop to either find MC here or ask around if anyone knows her.

Lilly starts to make her way towards the bar. And about halfway in, she is being noticed by her friend. MC straightens up. But instead of greeting Lilly, she turns and walks away.

What the hell?, Lilly wonders and picks up her pace to catch up with MC. Lilly reaches out to grab MCs shoulder and make her stop. MC whirls around and glares at Lilly. "Why are you here?", she hisses.

Lilly is completely taken aback by this reaction. While she still stares in shock, MC prtoceeds to turn around and walk away.

"MC! Wait. Where are you going?" Lilly follows her through a side door, ending up in a narrow corridor leading to the restrooms. But MC walks past them and further down the corridor. Finally, she disappears through another door.

When Lilly finally catches up, she finds MC leaning against a desk, arms crossed in front of her chest. "So?", she inquires. "Waht are you doing here?"

"MC, what is going on with you? You had everyone concerned about you when you just fell off the face of the earth!" "What is going on with me?" MC now stares at her feet. Lilly can see her jaw working as if she's clenching her teeth. "Well, I have decided that I am done with all of this after my last conversation with your brother." MC looks back at Lilly, and she can see all the pain and anger in her eyes.

"What happened?", Lilly asks. "I came all the way to Duskwood and met up with him, only for him to tell me that ...", MCs voice breaks off and she returns to staring at her feet. "I could not take it anymore. Not after all we went through. After all the things he said to me from the safety of his screen. I felt so betrayed and hurt. And there was no way I could come to see you guys, pretending that everything was okay."

Lilly walks over to MC, takes her hands and and pulls her into an embrace. There is no resistance anymore. "And you went through all of this alone?" MC nods against her shoulder. "We would have been there for you... But you know what, I'm here for you now."

"That won't ne necessary.", MC replies. "I am now at the point where I don't even cry about it anymore. I just accept the pain of losing him and move on." We'll see about that, Lilly thinks. Out loud she says: "Well then, I think it is time to get drunk."

****

Ok, now I am off to more fluffy shores!

#duskwood everbyte #duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood prompts #duskwood lilly

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artyartymo · 6 months

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Hello! I hope i'm doing this right, I've been on tumblr years and still dont understand it all. Anyway, I wanted to say that I really like your journal pages. Lately I have been getting into journaling myself and enjoy exploring others'. I was wondering how you journal, do you tend to write down sentences then add pictures later? Are the pictures you use stuff you have on hand that day or images you actively seek out? I know each person journals differently so I was just curious what your process is if you are open to sharing. Thank you.

@pandalovesbamb00 Hi there! I really appreciate this message and questions you got me here. I actually got into journaling as well by exploring other people's journals here in tumblr and pinterest so I do relate with you. With my style of journaling, I add pictures and stuff first before filling the spaces with sentences or random quotes. The pictures I used are what I already have on hand - any random things I find pretty online that has been printed previously and stored in one folder. Then I just add them randomly on my pages and don't really mind if it will relate to the text or not. Hehe. Thanks again for dropping by. I hope you'll stick with journaling since it will really make you feel light and good with yourself. 🌻

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heartspilt · 1 year

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how to interact with my blog!

BASICS !

name / alias: danny

pronouns: any

type of muse(s): canon | OCs | both | other (specify) (stardew farmer)

GENERALITIES !

triggers people MUST tag: mouth gore / teeth gore, hetalia

interest tracker / checker: i have it and it's mandatory | i have it, it's not mandatory but i'm more likely to follow back / interact with the people who fill it | i have one and i prefer it if people fill it in | i have it but it's to people whether to fill it or not | i don't have one | other (specify)

3-5 ESSENTIAL RULES PEOPLE HAVE TO RESPECT

don’t force me to write - asking if i replied to anything a week or so after is fine, but do not come asking me the second you hit post “hey danny have you replied”

be respectful of me and my boundaries

if you find im doing something wrong, please let me know.

please let me know how i can accomodate you with my writing: i typically get a good idea from people’s rules and own writing styles about it, but if you find yourself struggling to reply to our threads because i write in second person, i urge you to let me know! we’re here for fun, after all, and i want you to have fun too

do not follow me if you’re a map/zooph*le/lol!sho/prosh*pper/racist/anti-lgbt+/god knows what else. this is nonnegotiable. i do not even want to see you in my notes. ill demolish you.

3-5 IMPORTANT PET PEEVES TO KEEP IN MIND

if you use fancy text not within tumblr’s own post editor. i struggle with reading text if it’s too cursive in tumblr’s textposts bc tumblr’s dash themes, cool as they are, can make it really hard to read and i don’t wanna have to use a screen reader or copy-paste text into discord just to be able to read

being corrected on the lore of stardew valley - i do a lot of worldbuilding and toy around with a lot of stuff stretching the lore out. if you yourself are canon-compliant, i will be more than happy to apply that to OUR threads, but i will not change my worldbuilding just because “danny why don’t you like ginger island why isnt it included in your worldbuilding :(”

idk i dont have many pet peeves

2-5 THINGS THAT WILL LEAD TO INSTANT (SOFT)BLOCKING

if you make jokes about monika’s mental health in particular or their past. it’s not your place to unless i give

2-5 THINGS THAT LEAD ME TO UNFOLLOW / SOFTBLOCK A MUTUAL / SOMEONE I INTERACT WITH

ive literally softblocked people over my bf having issues w them. for the most part i don’t block/softblock people out of my own volition unless i see callouts abt them bc, like i said, i use it as i see fit

i softblocked someone for siding with a guy who abused me?

idk i typically just block if the vibes r rancid but thankfully that hasnt happened in a long time lol

2-5 REASON YOU DON'T FOLLOW (BACK) SOMEONE

if i don’t know the media your muse is from (this is only really applied to singlemuse blogs)

typically i wont follow back if i had issues with you before while i had my old names

if you are under age

if i just get the vibes our muses wont click

#x. did you know i can clown honk. / out.

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euphoricfilter · 1 year

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TO ADD ON YOUR CONDENSENDING HORNY THOUGHT: I always wanted to see some kind of fic or writing where it was this hard dom!yoongi and his sub who is usually VERY subby wanting to try and dominate yoongi, but he knows she wouldn’t be able to do it so he just eggs her on like “okay. Do it.” She might try and spank him in the thigh or something, but she’s scared of doing it too hard so he’s like “you hit like a pussy. Is it because you want yours filled yours up?” And through the whole time he’s just dirty talking to her and degrading her while restrained or something like “even with my hands tied you couldn’t do jack shit. But you like it like that, don’t you?” He wouldn’t command her to do anything, but those little degrading/praising comments he throws at her to make her slip more and more into that sub space type of mind. “With that face you’re making you’d do anything to have me fuck open your cunt, but that’s okay. This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” AND HE WOULD DO IT ALL WITH THAT CHESHIRE SMILE “aww. It’s okay. Not everyone makes smart decisions, but you look so fucking good trying.” (OOOO IM PROUD OF THAT LINE THAT ONE CAME STRAIGHT FROM MY NOGGIN)

Okay horny thought over. Sorry for the wall of text :,)

OMG YOUR MIND

this concept would be so fun to play with and i love love love condescending dom behavior it’s so delicious

maybe she tries to recall what yoongi does to her but just gets all squirmy because she remembers how good it feels, and yoongi would look so smug. you know he’d be smiling as he told her to do it as well, soft encouragement because he knows that she doesn’t have a dominant bone in her body and all it would take are a few words for her to be begging him to help her, because maybe she’s his dumb little baby who always needs his help :(

maybe she instantly apologizes after trying to spank him and he hits her with “you’ve always been quite fragile, haven’t you baby?” faux pout on his face at her flushed cheeks “too soft to even spank me properly”

him restrained on a chair the whole time 😭

the degrading praise, the m/c would melt.

maybe she sits on his lap, only she starts to rut a against him completely forgetting she was trying to punish him and of course yoongi would tell her how well she’s doing— the poor thing so close, drunk off her impending orgasm that she doesn’t realize she never really had been in control from the start

oh no he’d definitely let her do her thing and then tease her for not being able to do anything. maybe she’s a bit of a crybaby as well and she’s really trying to prove her point but she just gets so overwhelmed and yoongi wouldn’t be able to hide his smile “need my help, darling?” “a little too stupid to make yourself feel good, need my help? of course you do, you always need my help, baby, but that’s okay, that’s what i’m here for, isn’t it?”

stuff like that would 100% slip her further into sub space

OMG IF YOU DONT WRITE ALREADY YOU SHOULD IM GIGGLING AT THESE THEYRE SK PERFECT

“well done for trying, darling. but maybe you’re a little too silly to do it alone, that’s why i’m here to help, okay?” :(

RAH I LOVE THE CONDESCENDING DOM STUFF IT MAKES ME FEEL ALL GOOEY

don’t apologize, we share quite a few horny thoughts on my page and i giggle writing these 😭 they’re so fun

#ask

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marionedde · 3 months

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This is advice for the character with DID!

Don’t do the “evil alter” trope. Yes you can write persecutors, but don’t make them evil.

Dont write switching as being super dramatic all the time. Most switches will be relatively unnoticed by people on the outside. I’ve noticed that the most obvious switches to others are a result of a Big Bad Trigger or Active Trauma. Otherwise it tends to look like me staring off into space. Usually it’s not noticeable to others at all, because I’m on “autopilot” and still doing things while dissociating

Triggers aren’t always noticeable to others, or even the system itself, so sometimes we switch for seemingly no reason, when really it’s some sort of trigger (pos, neu, neg) that we haven’t clocked

Time loss varies. A lot. Some switches cause total time loss (no memory of what you were doing or why or who was out) some cause minimal timeless (trigger and maybe emotions are forgotten but the gist of what happened is kept) some cause something in between.

Alters will all have different opinions on each other. Some will like other system members, some with hate them, and some won’t care

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows when it comes to communication, sometimes it can be great, others it can suck. For me it tends to depend on my overall stress level and what’s going on. It gets better when I’m better and worse when things are happening

Communication isn’t just notes or talking internally. Is passive influence (having desires, thoughts, feelings, or opinions given to you by an alter in co-conscious. Usually feels foreign and “wrong” because it doesn’t feel like your own thought), journals, videos or voice messages. Post it notes too.

Not all alters will have the same communication methods. Some of mine use post it’s while others use texts and others use journals. Some use multiples

Please don’t use stereotypes, again please don’t make persecutors the “evil” alters, don’t make hosts the only ones that matter, don’t make protectors mean (some are, but but I have had protectors who are incredibly nice 99% of the time, and are only mean when absolutely necessary)

Please don’t make the character perpetuate abuse cycles.

If the character isn’t aware of the DID in the beginning of the story and you want to show their realization, you’ve got a couple options for how it can play out. They may know that SOMETHING is wrong, but not know what (this was me. After I got out of abusive situations I realized stuff was wrong and talked to my therapist). If you do this, i have some tips based on what I noticed. Before I knew about the DID, I noticed journal entries I didn’t remember, people I knew would reference something we did together and I’d have no memory. I’d find things I obviously bought but had no memory of. I’d end up in clothes with no idea when I changed. Mind you most of these weren’t everyday things. I’d experience something like that about once a week/month depending on what was happening.

The other option is to have them be unaware something’s wrong, but have OTHERS notice. Not necessarily in a “you introduced yourself with a different name and age” way (though that does happen) but like. Show other people noticing changes in belief or opinion. Show other people realizing that the character doesn’t remember something. Show them noticing that the character is acting different than usual, but not necessarily like, erratic.

If you’re showing the characters discovery of the system, it’s pretty unlikely that they will know literally anything about their alters, beyond basic roles and maybe gender/age. That’s not to say the alters aren’t developed, but learning things about your alters usually takes a good while, at least for me and the peeps ive talked to it has

Not all alters front regularly, but some will

And lastly, alters don’t form for no reason. They form to fill a need in that system. Yes sometimes that need is “I need comfort and no one can comfort me so my brain made someone to be nice to me” but more often than not it’ll (in my experience) be a direct result of some sort of trauma/stresser

Other than that I don’t think I have any more tips but if you’d like I can send you another ask if I remember anything

Thanks for the info!!! I will definitely keep this in mind for my writing

#Info

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consequencesofargentdawn · 1 year

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pretty disappointed to see recently that you coad support toxic players. as toxic and dramatic as PCU I dare say. So basically we have PCU on one hand, and then on the other hand, a forming clique of children. This seloriaz elf and her clique had previously been almost instanced in sw, rudely ignoring ppl for RPing supposedly with pcu people. when I /w them they ignored me again and then one of their alts whispered back at me saying to not bother them again because I was seen RPing with a PCU-affiliate whereas I simply chit-chatted with someone from the dawn that no longer even is in azura dawn. from the other screenshots also with shonn, I respect when he admits that he does 18+ RP and that he is mindful of not doing it public but that goes against the one who whispers, which is seloriaz and had a TRP profile with a not-so-hidden link of their nsfw character artwork. who's the real clown? pls do your research and don't give voice to toxic players that expose everyone to their nsfw artwork and they dont even give you a chance because you "RpEd WiTh ThAt oNe dUdE wHo We ThInK iS pcu sO wE iGnOre yOu!" So glad these people left Argent Dawn and went over to epsilon last I know. Better stay there. And coad, pls post this and if you kindly ask for evidence I have a few screenies though my TRP was wiped so I cant find that NSFW link I wrote above.

Sounds like malding PCU hotheads getting burnt here. You provide no receipts, no evidence of wrong doing from whoever you're trying to throw under the bus and your goons have created no less than seven (7) twitter accounts to harass someone.

People d o n o t want to interact with the PCU and are wholly entitled to curate and moderate their spaces online from those who align themselves with the group. You are a toxic brand who have attracted incels, genuine fascists and sympathetic rightoids who's attitudes towards women, minorities and vulnerable groups have routinely for the last five years and more been on par with the same type of "cleanse the society" rhetoric that neo-nazi extremists have pumped out. Your former Dear Leader often loved to compare himself to great totalitarian personages of the 20th century, and somewhat ironically given the context, to the great Butcherer of Bucha. You are abjectly the greatest hypocrites to ever ingloriously grace Argent Dawn.

We are breaking from our usual operating code as we don't generally reply to angry PCU wiseguys these days. The utter hysteria your ilk fill our inbox up with grants us glee and delight. Every anti-Semitic, racist and xenophobic jibe, every misogynistic and medieval "lol funny deus vult" quip and homophobic, transphobic and fragile cis white male angerbait sent our way? You think it does anything but encourage us further?

The PCU have n e v e r been able to provide genuine evidence of supposed wrong doing that hasn't clearly been through two layers of photoshop and reveals a players actual screen rather than the poorly cropped text box themselves and two buddies did together on Epsilon at three AM posing as other players to dirty, denigrate and slander innocent players. It's always someone posting easily faked TRP profiles, chat boxes that crop out 80% of the screen or suspiciously only use easily modifiable terms such as player names or two players sitting side by side one another (because that apparently is ERP?)

Yet what have we got? A mountain of evidence. A litany of questionable behaviors, off-color remarks and abuse dating over years of which at least half of all of this has been contributed by other players, the decent and normal people of Argent Dawn who read this blog to see just what scummy depths the PCU and all of its adjunct supporters are willing to prop up in the name of "good standards" and "protecting fellow roleplayers"

So to quote Akande Ogundimu, aka Doomfist.

Go and sit down.

#Confessions of Argent Dawn #CoAD Speaks #Argent Dawn EU #PCU #Hypocrites #Neo-nazis #Fascists #bigots #bullying #harassment

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tyrantzeye · 1 year

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doijg oc infodump hour now bc i havent done it previously 4 a while.... huge tw, see in tags....featuring fune aitsuko & natsuki(unknown lasg name)

so guys yk fune & natsuki the 2 ocs i talk ab the least n are basically copy n paste versons of eachother n therefore are besg friends????? SO UHM HERES A. (HEAD)CANONS B. A CANONICAL N SAD STORYLINE & C. NEW OC DROP TEASER

a. (HEAD)CANONS

1. they tease eachother constantly. but its intellectual sounding as FUCK. instead of going "youre short" they go "you appear to be vertically challenged, i love how it matches your mental state" 2. they do little study sessions together n they eat tea and biscuits n fake british accents 3. they have a pet snake together. his name is jerryl. fune has him on weekends. you will not recieve any other details. 4. fune spends most of her time staring at her drawing tablet n natsuki just spits out ideas at her which she WILL make into a poem later 5. fune has a litrle crush on natsuki (canon) but natsuki is oblivious n ir would be rlly funny in like acomedy show its like imagine phineas and feeb and that 1 girlypop 6. they are basically troy and abed(intellect edition)

b. STORYLINE

our story begins in a library.fune is reading n shit n natsuki comes up 2 her n is like "what book r u readinf" n they nerd out n instantly click and then they text and.hang out again n beckme best friends but.natsuki kept being distant n then they eventually moved in 2gether n every other nighr natsuki has someone new in the house n she has a weapon collection n her room is like not whag ud.expect it 2 be like at all considering how timid n shit both her n natsuki r yk?? they have a talk.ab it n irs resolved(hint hint nudge nudge) n anywayz fune keeps finding weird things n hearinf weird things like she finds a crumpled photo of tbem in the trash & sees a glint of like an eye in the closet door but she ignores it n it escalates n fune kicks her out but ir makes ir worse adn nqtsukis begging her to be let back in bur she doesnt and then.theg try to ralk it out in a public space and instead of talking ab shit natsuki talks ab books n her most recent poems n all tbe stuff she loves ab funes mkst recenr art n then funes walkikg to the bus n she thought natsuki got in her car n left already but she DIDNT and she's following her and natsuki taps fune on the shoulder n pulls out a gun but her hands all shaky ad shes crying rlly hard n instead of shootign her she shoots herself n theres a note that reads...."and i hold the gun in my handsand i pull the trigger but where does it point?i don't remember.i love you - natsuki"n funes confused and sad and grieving n then she finds out that natsuki has a bounty on her head bc when she was younger she did a bunch of fucked yp shit in a different country n she fled n didnt want fune 2 find out and couldnt figure out a better way to stop it bc she was worried fune would turn her in but she physicallt couldtn do it so instead yk........she.....yk... n fune is filled with all this regret & shit n js stops everything she xant draw anything other than vent art n cant get out of bed basically can only feed jerryl yk?? BUT then she does a sbit ton of research n stops the bad guys !!!!!! yay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (aka i couldnt think of a better way to end it.sorry😓)

BAD ENDINF......natsukis finger is on the trigger, and she pulls. she shoots. it echoes. and she runs. she runs and runs far far away. she runs until her legs give out and shes in the middle of nowhere and shes dropped the gun a while back and shes scared and sad and shit because she wasnt supposed to do that n she sits there and cries until dawn n eventually she recollects herself n just flees again n eventually she dies in like some tiny country with like 50 different names following her

C. cant think of a name. but he is going 2 be besg friends w thag 1 kid on tunelogic n is basically kerenzas brief(platonic) like in paswg. give ideas if u dont mind👺

#camille oc infodump hour #tw suicide #tw death #tw murder #tw gun #tw gun violence #HOLY FUCK THIS IS LONG N ITS STILL SUCH A WIP IM GONNA WRITE NATSUKI MORE IN DEPTH LATER💔#waaa im gonna change their entire designs again too

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goalstostarvefor · 2 years

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Heyo,

I love you. I love you like the world crushing my shoulders. As if it were the oxygen catching on fire and burning in my lungs. Like soft peaceful crickets that play a role to provide a necessary part in a dark starry night. Like how fall causes the leaves to change and slowly fall to the ground. With soft words and heavy breaths that stay tethered to the sheets of our secrets. And I know you can't do the same. That you won't do the same. You can't. You wouldn't be able to live. To breathe without regret. And I understand that.

However, understand this, I'm sorry but not sorry for loving you. But for not giving you the chance to love me if you had ever changed your mind. I'm done regretting every breath. I'm done trying be okay for everyone else when all I want to do is cry. To break down so bad people don't have the chance to worry. I don't want to have to regret doing daily human functions like eating, and drinking.

I made you realize things that you didn't need to. I made you scared to sleep if someone texted randomly. I made you scared to learn how to drive again. I made you realize that life isn't what it should be for a lot of people. That trauma is real and effects people for life even if they have healed and/or are trying to.

This sounds selfish but I feel you leaving. I feel the tearing of you so caught up with everything else so strongly in my heart. I feel as if I can't breathe without you there but you're not. So I'm drowning in my brain. Not slowly either.

I haven't eaten in three days. Maybe because youll notice or maybe because i don't deserve to. Maybe you'll worry and find your way back to me. I know that this way is a terrible way to do it but it's all my brain can think of. I got weighed. I gained weight. I have to lose it plus more. I don't deserve to take up space. I dont deserve to enjoy life. I understand where I stand in this universe. I don't know if you could handle it though. Because you'd most likely would run. Because with angel there, you have your comfy person. And I'll let you have that at the expense of mine because you deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who makes you truly comfortable. I don't.

I wanted to go to you. But i didn't because if I did it'd feel like I'm blaming you, which so far off the path of truth. I had made angel promise he wouldn't take my comfy person before megacon. And he did exactly that. Poked and prodded at my weak spot until now. I don't know if it'll get worse because I don't know if I'm still breaking or if I've already shattered like glass

I don't understand my own brain right now and I don't think I ever have. But when I hear your voice or see a text from you it's like I'm not dying. Like I can breathe and feel my lungs fill with air and safety rather than fire and hurt. You made me feel that love was real and not just constant pain. Like the soft moments starring at clouds when things seem overwhelming. Or soft music that's played by nature at the beach on a warm summer day. You are my peace but I've lost that now.

I miss you. I truly do. So for now I say goodbye. I say I love you and that isn't your fault. It's mine for being attached and knowing this would happen. That I shouldn't have fallen. That I should have just erased feeling and the second I found out. That's my fault for falling I could have stopped myself from falling but I couldn't because I believed one day you'd love me the way I love you. I blame myself for the universe putting you in front of me and I couldn't control myself.

Goodnight,

Be safe please and I love you,

Anon

#letters for thought #letters #penpal #comfy person #broken love #jealousy #sad letter #not pro just tags #pro ana #pr0 3d

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f4irycafe · 2 years

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let me rant abt eren rn cause i’m sad and need to project the kind of love i want onto a fictional character 🤩

i genuinely feel like this man is very emotionally intuitive. he might not always know what to DO, but he knows what he feels and he’s passionate about those feelings.

for example; when i get moody i get very quiet and calm, and i just … sit with myself a lot. i isolate from my friends, don’t text anyone, don’t make plans. it’s just me and i don’t mind.

if you do that as well, eren will sit with you through it. he won’t get mad at you for not wanting to spend time with him, but he won’t ghost you either.

he’ll text you, check up on you, if you go to separate colleges in the same state he’ll go pick up your favorite comfort snacks and bring them to your dorm. if you go to the same college he’ll take you back to his dorm and have a movie night with you.

he can fill the space. he doesn’t mind talking. but if you don’t want to talk, that’s okay too. he has shit to do. he’ll just be shuffling around the room. gaming, doing his homework, calling his mom.

one thing he won’t take no for an answer for is cuddle time. if he wants cuddles, he’s getting them. unless it’s a hard “no, eren stop.” from you, his body will suck yours into him until you don’t know where his body starts and yours ends.

NOW DONT GET ME WRONG, if he sees you in this mood for more than 2 weeks he’ll start to try and force you out if it. getting you out of your room, even if it’s just for a walk around campus or your city. he’ll wait for you to talk to him, and he won’t leave until you say something.

forced positivity or some shit like that 💀

he’s just a goofball who wants to keep his girlfriend happy.

happy wife (not really but u get it) , happy life <3 is his mantra.

i really do crave just basic human intimacy oh my god :,)

#f4irycafehcs📋#eren cafe <3 #eren jeager headcannons #eren x reader #eren fluff #aot fluff

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mosquitiddies · 2 years

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A Pearl - Mitski

genre: fluff, angst i guess?? (i really dont know lmao)

hwang hyunjin x depressed!reader

summary: reader is being swallowed by their thoughts, hyunjin tries to help them through it.

(I CHANGED THE NAME BC I THINK THIS SONG FITS BETTER??)

you lay in your bed once again. your mind filled with a million thoughts, running a million miles per hour. you looked to the window, the moon was still up so you probably hadn't slept very long, though it felt like forever. this month had by far been the worst and your depressive tendencies were beginning to kick in.

you felt around your bed, trying to find your phone. when you finally found it, you pressed the little power button on the side to turn it on.

'02.47am' it read.

Hyunjin was probably sleeping by now. you wanted to text him but what if he gets bothered by you texting him so late? or doesn't want to listen to your little rant? you text him too much already so maybe you should just back off and give him his space?

well that's what you did. but it was more as if he were giving you space.

he sent you text after text:

'good morning baby.' you replied with a short 'gm Hyunjin'

he pretended not to notice your change of tone or lack of emojis.

from then, your replies got drier and drier until you just stopped opening the messages at all.

it had been a week since you made this decision and gosh, life was really taking its toll on you. you hadn't showered in maybe 2 days, you hadn't left your house in 6. you had barely eaten, mostly just drinking water or having small snacks like chips or a chocolate bar.

again and again, you had picked up the phone to text hyunjin; to tell him you're sorry, that you don't want to hurt him; that you don't want to burden him. but time and time again, you put the phone down (or rather flung it across the room) before frustratedly gripping at your hair.

it had been 7 days since hyunjin had last had a conversation with you. 9 days since he last had you in his arms. he really missed you. this time apart was unbearable for him but he knew eventually you would've gotten tired of him, as does everyone.

maybe it's because he's too clingy? or is it the fact that he always drags you to the practice room with him at all hours of the night even when you're tired? or is it because he's been so busy with his schedule? or maybe.. just maybe, you have just stopped loving him?

hyunjin's mind had also travelled to the worst thoughts possible. he had tried texting you, calling you, emailing you, hell he was even thinking about writing you a letter. he loved you more than words could explain and you had asked for space so thats what he wanted to give you.

during his (minimal) free time, he tried to distract himself with dancing or painting, coming home late and still spending hours in his little studio, but nothing seemed to get you off his mind. he still messaged you every day, just to say that he loved you and hoped that he would see you soon.

he hated just showing up at your place because he felt like that would be a violation of your privacy or something. of course, you had given him a spare key to let himself in, even when you're not home. but he would never do that, until now. he was too worried, far too concerned to just sit at home and wait for a call that was never coming.

"y/n, baby? are you in here?" he yelled through the house as he entered your apartment. "love?" the apartment was dark, almost no sign of life present there. he noticed the fact that all the lights were off even though you were afraid of the dark. he noticed the fact that your apartment was silent even though you could not function without music playing. he noticed the empty sink, the missing aroma of your amazing cooking. his concern grew larger and larger, and he just prayed that you were okay. he walked towards your door and subconsciously looked through the crack, you were balled up on the bed, staring out the window.

you hadn't even noticed his presence until you heard your bedroom door creak open. your head quickly turned in the direction of the noise, seeing your beloved boyfriend at the door.

"hyun?" your hoarse voice croaked out from not speaking at all for days prior. "what are you doing here?"

"are you okay? did something happen?" he ran to you, immediately engulfing you in his arms. "i've been texting you and calling and i-" he stops as he notices your tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. "baby what's wrong?"

you hesitated at first. you didn't want to worry him more or worse, what if you drive him away? you looked into his beautiful dark brown eyes that were filled with concern and apprehension, urging you to speak. "i just.. i just can't hyune.." tears started to prick your eyes again.

"can't what?" he asked softly. you tried to speak but it was cut off by a weeping hiccup. "its okay take your time."

"i don't know." you covered your face with your hands, being so frustrated with your inability to express your feelings. " i wake up everyday, brush my teeth, eat, shower, do nothing, go to bed, repeat. everyday is the same. i want to feel something. i want to be able to say I've succeeded in going after my dream- succeeded in being happy. and-...and i can't. because i don't have a dream. i don't have goals." you paused for a few moments, sobbing. "my life has no purpose."

"hey hey hey. that's not true." he wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair gently. " why have you been pushing me away?"

"it is true." you spoke again. " my grandparents won't even speak to me because I'm a failure. i don't deserve you or your love."

"y/n-"

"look at me, hyunjin. I've gained so much weight, i look like i haven't slept in years. i don't have a job. i have no friends. i have no life. i'm tired, hyunjin. i'm so fucking tired of living like this." you continued to bawl in to his now tear stained tshirt.

"y/n. you're the most important person in my life. you're the kindest, most caring, most beautiful person ive ever met. i love you more than words could ever explain." he took a deep breath, trying to organise his words in his jumbled mind. " i know this is hard. i promise you, i know. but please, im begging you, don't give up yet. we're only 22 years old. you can't expect to have your whole life in order already."

"but-"

"wait, just listen." he interrupted you. " i've know you since we were 8 years old, so i have had the honour of watching you grow up, watching you change. watching you become the most amazing person you could be and i guarantee I'm not the only one who thinks so. I'm so sorry that i haven't been putting enough time and effort into our relationship. I'm sorry that i haven't been there for you but i promise , from now on, I'll always look out for you. I'll never leave your side, not until the end of time."

"no. dont blame yourself . how would you have known i was so unstable if i never showed you?" you sighed, hugging him tighter.

"you know you can tell me everything and anything right?" he asked, to which you nodded. "well next time you feel like this, tell me or write it down for me. i don't want you to keep this bottled up. it's okay to have bad days but no matter what, I'll always support you."

you started crying again at his words. "god, im such a mess."

"yeah, you are." he joked. "but you're my mess and we'll get through this together." hyunjin moved back, cupping your face with his two hands. "i love you." he pecked your lips gently

"i love you too, dummy." you did the same.

"oh i almost forgot, felix made you some cookies." he grabbed the bag that he had dropped on the floor, opening the tupperware container that sat inside. "here, take some."

"wanna cuddle while we both cry watching coco?" you asked him as you turned on your tv, to which he nodded.

and that's how you both spent the night, eating cookies and crying over coco. there was nowhere else you'd rather be.

#stray kids imagines #hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #stray kids hyunjin imagines #stray kids fics #stray kids fluff #straykids angst

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tsukishumai · 3 years

Text

pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x f!reader word count: 2.7k (idk I’m sorry) tags/warnings: fluff, smut, NSFW, bondage, oral(f!receiving), MINORS please DNI with this post a/n: a big thank you to @forgetou and @neobakas for beta-reading this piece for me. ilysm <3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were always incredibly considerate of Sakusa. It had been that way from the moment the two of you had met. You didn’t scoff at how he needed to be the first one in the locker rooms after practice, or laugh at his post-game rituals. You quietly adjusted to his odd habits, no fanfare or complaints. You never did so with any disdain nor treated his quirks as if they were a nuisance. You just accepted those parts of him without a second thought, considering it just as important to him as his limbs.

So yes, Sakusa fell for the kind girl that made him feel normal – the one that avoided taking him to crowded places, and stitched his jersey number onto a face mask. He thinks your jokes are hilarious, and he feels proud when he’s the one making you laugh. He likes it when you cook his favorite meals, and he appreciates the way you stay up to wait for him when he gets home a little late. He notices the effort you put into always looking pretty for him every day, always waiting for him to initiate contact for fear of invading his personal space.

But that’s just the thing.

Sakusa doesn’t want any personal space from you. He loves the way you smell, and the way your skin feels beneath his fingers. He daydreams about holding you in his arms, and rubbing circles along your back as you relaxed against him. He gets butterflies in his stomach when you kiss his cheek without asking him first, and he revels in the timid look on your face when you apologize for doing so.

He doesn’t mind. Why would he? Despite any preconceived notions one might have of him, Sakusa enjoys affection – from the right person. He’s not going to give Bokuto a high five, nor is he going to shake Hinata’s hand. Sakusa never fails to get the odd look from Atsumu when he slides his hand into yours without a second thought, or when he ‘allows’ you to brush his hair away from his face.

Sakusa wants to scoff whenever he hears that phrase. He doesn’t allow you to touch him. He yearns for it like his lungs need air.

So of course he notices when you try to keep him at arm’s length.

You were never afraid to tell him how you felt, easily slipping I love yous and I’m missing you into daily texts and conversation. It made his heart flutter, but Sakusa wasn’t a man of many words. He’s not sure how to write a love letter, and he’s never even picked up a poetry book. When you ask him how much he loves you, he’ll just look you dead in the eye and say “A lot?”

No, you won’t be receiving sonnets nor prose about his undying affection. He’d much rather just show you.

His every touch is filled with so much care, delicate but sure as they travel across the stretch of your skin. He places gentle kisses along your pressure points, feening for the feel of your pulse against his lips. He wants to taste every inch of you, and commit the sensation of you on his tongue to memory.

Yet whenever he tries to lower his head past your navel, you push him away. You try to distract your rejection with your kiss, rolling him over instead to take him entirely in your mouth.

It’s not that Sakusa is complaining; how could he when he’s pumping his dick into your silky throat, watching your saliva dribble past your chin as you choke on his length?

He forgets about your denial until his next attempt, when he’s nipping at the skin of your hips, moving his mouth to forge a wet trail that lead to the space between your legs, and yet again you pull him up from his spot, kissing him and grabbing him until he plunged himself inside of you instead.

As he collapses next to you in bed, wrapping his arms around you while you nuzzle your face into his chest, for the first time ever, he feels unsatisfied — as if he hadn’t done all that he could have.

He brings this issue up to you the next day, unabashedly asking why you wouldn’t let him kiss you.

“What do you mean, Omi?” You asked, confused. “We kiss all the time.”

“No, I mean,” he turns slightly red as he gestures to your crotch, “There.”

The flustered look on your face shouldn’t have made him hard, but it did. He liked the way you stuttered and widened your eyes, searching desperately for the right words to say.

“I dont know,” you answered finally, “I figured you thought that kind of stuff was gross.”

You cut the conversation off there, no longer wanting to speak on the subject, but it haunted Sakusa for the rest of the day.

Gross? Why would you think that of him? Don’t you know that he wants to claim ever single inch of your body, wants to dip his fingers into you and watch your eyes roll to the back of your head, wants you to sit on his face until he can’t breathe? Had he not been doing a good enough job showing you this?

Sakusa shakes his head, feeling disappointed in himself.

It’s alright. He’s got a plan.

Later that night, as he ran his hands along your waist, lightly dragging his nails across your stomach, he leaned down and whispered in your ear, “I want to try something new tonight.”

You didn’t even think about it as you nodded your head eagerly like he knew you would, gazing up at him with half-lidded eyes that screamed of lust.

He sits up, and you try to sit up with him but he just pushes you back down onto the mattress. You looked up at him curiously as he reaches down the side of the bed to where he placed a plastic bag with his earlier purchase.

Sakusa’s hand emerged holding a pair of silver handcuffs, and he smirks at the way your eyes gleamed with excitement.

“Hands up,” he commands, and you quickly obliged. He looped the handcuffs behind the bars of his headboard, cuffing one of your wrists on each side. He left it slightly loose so as not to injure your skin, but as you struggled against your bindings, Sakusa was pleased to find that it would be impossible for you to get out.

Your arms were outstretched above you, and Sakusa roves his hungry eyes over your dips and curves, so exposed and vulnerable to whatever he wanted to do.

But only one thing was on his mind.

He begins with a soft kiss placed in the crook of your neck, ghosting over your collarbones before leaving marks all across your chest. You fidgeted beneath him, and he placed two hands on your waist.

“Stay still,” he commanded, and you simply gulped.

Sakusa dips his head back down, supple lips enclosing around your hardened nipple, and you arched into his touch. You shiver when his teeth nips at you, while he brings his other hand to cup your other breast, fingers pinching and twisting the previously ignored bud until you were a whimpering mess.

He disconnects his mouth a loud pop, but it wasn’t long until he begins to drag his tongue across your stomach. His direction slowly moves further down, and he can feel you slightly tense up. He ignores the way you try to wiggle your body away from his ministrations; you have nowhere to go, and he has you right where he wants you.

Sakusa draws circles around your navel, his hands finally coming down to rest on your hips.

“Omi,” you say nervously, the handcuffs lightly clinking against the metal bars they were attached to, “I’m not sure if...”

Your words died on your tongue when Sakusa’s grip tightened on your hips, looking up at you through his lashes before darting his tongue out to wet his lips.

“Relax,” he cooed, “Be a good girl for me.”

You nearly choked, your throat feeling dry watching Sakusa move his hands down to your thighs, kissing his way down to uncharted territory. You felt uneasy, and nervous, unable to keep your insecurities at bay when you felt Sakusa lick at the junction of your thigh and pelvis. He was so close to you – what if he thought it was dirty? Or didn’t like your scent? You could feel the warmth of his tongue trace up your pussy lips, and it was involuntary the way you tried to kick him away.

Suddenly, you felt a hand grip you tightly behind your knees, forcefully pushing your legs apart and up against your chest. You gasped in surprise, face turning red at your position. You squirmed against Sakusa’s grip, but his hold on you was strong, and the silver cuffs around your wrist were doing their job well.

“I thought I said be a good girl?” Sakusa questioned, his expression stern while he had your legs pinned down. “Or am I going to have to punish you for being such a disobedient little slut?”

The butterflies in your stomach manifested themselves as the slick wetness between your legs, and Sakusa smirked at the starstruck look on your face.

“I’m a good girl,” you whispered, though the position you found yourself was anything but.

Sakusa responded by pushing your legs even wider, looking down to admire the view. He could feel the tip of his dick struggling against his boxers, a large wet spot on the material indicating just how much he wanted to wreck you. But that could wait.

You start to feel shy under his intense stare, trying not to wiggle away and get another reprimanding.

“Omi, what are you – ahh!”

Sakusa licks one long stroke up your slit, and you couldn’t stop your entire body from shivering. He could feel your legs tremble beneath his fingers, and who knew just one lick could already elicit such a reaction from you?

He moves one hand away from your leg, using two of his fingers to spread apart your folds. Like a man finding treasure, he plunges his tongue onto your swollen red clit, sucking and nipping at it gently before flattening his tongue, drawing patterns that made you feel like your entire body was on flames.

Your head was thrown back against the pillows, back arching as you struggled to catch your breath. Sakusa flicked his tongue against your pussy so expertly, alternating his speed and rhythm in a way that had your legs shaking violently.

“Ohh fuuuuckk,” you managed to groan out, gripping onto your bindings so tightly, your knuckles were turning white. The lewd sounds of him lapping at your clit could only be heard in between your gasping breaths.

Sakusa flicks his tongue up one last time before pulling away slightly, staring up to drink in your flushed expression. Your tongue was lolled out the side of your mouth, eyes rolled back and chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Your arms hung limp from its tether, and Sakusa can’t think of a prettier picture.

He looks down at your shining cunt, glistening and swollen and Sakusa didn’t think twice about slipping two fingers into your slopping entrance.

He hooks your leg over his shoulder, smiling as you thrashed helplessly, body reacting fiercely to the way he hooked his fingers and found your gspot with ease.

You squeezed your eyes shut, screams and moans filling the room, unable to adjust to the pleasure of Sakusa rhythm.

You could feel the heat pool into your stomach, tightening in a knot so fraught with tension, it was only seconds before you snapped.

Sakusa could feel the way you pretty little cunt began to tighten around his fingers, quickly slipping in a third one and burying them in deeper.

“Ki...kiyoomi.. I’m .. I’m gonna —“

Sakusa latches back onto your clit, flattening his tongue and sucking in rhythm to the way he pumped into you.

Your legs tightened around his head, but Sakusa didn’t stop. He could feel every tremble, every shake of your thigh against his cheeks, blocking out the sounds of the way you called out his name.

You bucked your hips up into his mouth, and he could feel you gush on his tongue. Sakusa lapped up every single drop, and you felt your body twitch as he continued to lick your sensitive clit. Finally, he surfaces from his meal, looking up at you with your sex dribbling down his chin. It was sinful the way he withdrew his fingers from your cunt and reached up to shove them in your mouth. You sucked on them eagerly, eliciting a smirk from the wavy haired man.

“You taste so fucking good, don’t you?”

Sakusa pulls away, standing up to get rid of his boxers before quickly returning to his spot on the bed.

Your arms were numb, and your legs felt weak, but Sakusa gave you no chance to recover from his previous performance, grabbing your ankles once more and pressing your legs down into a press.

“Such a good fucking little whore,” Sakusa murmurs in your ear, nearly crushing you in the process. “You just let me do whatever the fuck I want, don’t you?”

Without a warning, he slams into you in one hard thrust, the only retaliation coming from your mouth was a strangled groan.

“This pretty pussy is all mine,” Sakusa muttered, keeping your ankles steady by your ears, his cadence unforgiving, and unwavering.

“Omi.. I.. I can’t —!”

Sakusa responded by angling his hips to hit your sweet spot, reaching deeper than you thought possible.

“Yes, you fucking can.”

The crude sounds of his drive were only amplified by the way you gushed all over his dick, the mess you made staining the 400 thread count sheets he so carefully picked out for the both of you.

Sakusa wanted to hold out longer, he really did. But the way you looked under him right now, so fucked out and stupid, he couldn’t help but feel himself get closer and closer to his limit.

“Kiyoomi— please!! I can’t —“

In one swift movement, Sakusa pulls out, pumping his cock until he spilled hot white all over your stomach.

You hadn’t done anything but lay there — bound, at that — but you were desperately gasping for air, your heart beating so fast, you thought it would explode out of its cage.

Sakusa sits back on his heels, equally out of breath, his dick growing limp in his palm, though it still twitched at the sight of you covered all over his cum.

He leans over to give you a peck on the nose, leaving you to walk to his attached bathroom.

He returned a few seconds later with a warm towel, gently cleaning the mess he had made all over your stomach. You nearly fell asleep at his touch, only opening your eyes when he unlocked the cuffs around your wrists.

Your arms fell back down limp, and Sakusa chuckled, kissing the red marks left by the cold silver metal.

“I’m sorry for this,” he mumbled against your skin.

You smiled at him lazily, bringing a hand to tuck a loose strand of wavy hair behind his ear.

“Don’t be sorry.”

He smiled once more before planting a soft kiss on your lips. He settles into the empty space next to you, pulling you on to his lap. You laid your head on his shoulder, and your hand settled on top of his chest, sketching soft circles with the pad of our fingers. He rested his cheek on top of your head, while he supported your back and held your thigh.

“Did you… like that?” He asked quietly, his deep voice disturbing the calm that had nearly engulfed you.

You felt your face heat up, burying further into his chest. He chuckled lowly, holding you tightly and placing a kiss on your temple.

“I did… d-did you?”

Sakusa brings his hand up to your chin, tilting it upwards until you were facing him.

“I loved it.”

He leaned down to place a gentle kiss, filled with all the tender love and care he never gets to say.

Suddenly, He pulls away.

“Hey, what are you—“

He slid his hands beneath the back of your knees, picking you up bridal style in one easy movement. He turned around and made his way back to the bathroom.

“Come on, let’s take a bath first.”

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bratkook · 4 years

Text

like you used to. jjk

“So kill me like you used to...”

part two.

pairing. ex boyfriend!jungkook x reader genre. angst, mentions of smut, toxic exes warnings. very toxic depictions of relationships, hints at infidelity, drunken mistakes, they’re both very toxic for each other and just can’t stay away, brief mentions of smut word count. 2.9k note. this is just a lump of angst that my mind conjured at 1am last night, i just love angst and messy relationships that are destined to fail 😌(its not edited so if u see a typo no u dont)

It always started with a phone call.

Whether it was from you or him always changed. Sometimes he’d get the call at two in the morning, vision blurry as he brought the phone to his face and saw your name illuminated on the screen, that old goofy selfie you had together still set as your contact photo. He’d hesitate for a moment just to keep you on your toes before pressing accept, already getting up and putting pants on because he knew just what you were calling for.

Tonight was your turn to be on the receiving end, laying in bed comfortably as you scrolled through random posts to try to help you sleep, the flash of his face fills your phone, it’s a random close up photo of his eyes staring right into the camera, crinkled up in a smile. Even though his name is changed in your contacts, no longer having the cute bunny emoji tacked to the end, you know you’ll still pick up in a heartbeat. And you do.

The second you press accept you’re met with the familiar sound of his voice, slurred and thick as he speaks so jumbled up you would barely be able to understand him if you didn’t already know what he was saying. It was the same things he always said whenever he got like this, proclamations of love that only cut up your freshly scabbed over wounds, salt rubbing into them when he cries about how he misses you, promises to change.

They get cut off when the phone is yanked away from his grasp, the second familiar voice belonging to his buddy Yugyeom now speaking into the receiver. “You gotta pick him up Y/N.”

The annoyance is evident in his voice, the babbling of Jungkook still heard in the background along with the dull beat of whatever place they were outside of.

“He’s not my responsibility Yugyeom.”

He simply sighs into the phone, staring at his mess of a friend before rubbing his jaw, sore and aching from where he had just been socked after attempting to force him into an uber. “Yeah well he won’t let anyone else take him home, he’s drunk as fuck. I’ll send you the location.”

Not waiting for a response he hangs up and sends you a pin of where they’re at, thrusting the phone back into his friend’s hands before getting into that uber and leaving Jungkook alone while he whines against the dirty bar wall, crouching down onto the filthy sidewalk as the car drove off.

Yugyeom knew you would come to his rescue like you always did, never once saying no and letting Jungkook fend for himself because on the rare occasions where you’d call him drunk and crying he’d do the same.

Getting into the car still dressed in your pajamas, shoes thrown on without being laced up, hair still messy, it felt like routine now from how often it happened. Jungkook called you sober, text you while in a sane state of mind, but without fail at least once a month he’d get absolutely shit faced and call you, leaving you what he thought were heartfelt voicemails if by some chance you didn’t answer.

It was the same bar every time, a bar you used to frequent with him, knowing the location and all the small side streets to get you there without needing directions. Doing this felt like such a normal part of your life it almost made you forget that you and Jungkook weren’t together anymore. It’s been a year since you split and you still find yourself thinking if things could be different.

Would it have been best if you never confessed to each other, never admitted to the small inkling of a crush before it was able to fully blossom? It was hard not to wonder how different life would be now if you had walked away the first time things went south, if he had walked away after the first argument.

Whenever he called you, pulled you in with those drunken promises it was easy to convince yourself that your relationship was perfect, that it was worth all of the struggles. Your brain morphed each fight, each time you cried alone, twisted it around and molded it to make it easier to consume, easier to believe you were meant to be.

You thought you were soulmates, and maybe you were, two people destined to be together, meeting at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances. What was meant to be perfect puzzle pieces connected had slowly turned into jagged edges that no longer clicked regardless of how hard you tried to jam them together, foolishly thinking you could spill your love into the gaps to mend the spaces, making the pieces whole once more.

Love was never enough.

Love made you stupid, made you blind and gullible, smiling through lies to avoid arguments, going to bed angry until he was hovering over you, coaxing you into forgiveness with soft kisses and gentle touches. It always went this way, regardless of who’s fault it was without fail he’d end up slot between your legs, the only time the puzzle pieces connected perfectly, allowing him to fuck you as if he’d never see you again. Murmurs of love and adoration were passed between panting breaths, sloppy kisses, shared moans to mask the empty promises you made every time.

Staying away from each other was a hard habit to kick, the two of you stuck on an endless game of seesaw, neither of you having the guts to get off and move on. All it took was a simple drunk phone call for you to go his way, the slur of his voice as he cries into the receiver about how much he loved you, missed you, needed you next to him, wanted to try again. It reeled you in so easily, winding you up until you were hauling your sloppy ex boyfriend off the dirty floor and into your small car.

He remembers none of this, he never did, not fully anyways. Small tidbits of words he said flash in his mind as he comes to, drool on his cheek and neck sore from the unfortunate position he had slept in, groggy and unaware of his surroundings.

He knew your apartment too well, recognized the green wall he had helped you paint, now holding endless pictures of you and your friends. None of Jungkook anymore.

All of those photos were gone now, not burned or shredded in some ritual to get over him, simply tucked into a box and shoved so far into your closet you hoped you would forget it. You never did of course, the way the box laid dust free made it clear how often you pulled it out and sorted through the photos whenever you had too much wine, whenever you had off days where you just felt so alone and wished you could go back to the times you had convinced yourself were better. They weren’t, you knew they weren’t once you sobered up and balanced out your emotions.

Jungkook doesn’t feel bothered that not a trace of him remained visible in your home, he knew his presence lingered in the cracks, buried so deep in the crevices of your mind he knew you would always think of him.

He groans softly as his eyes roam the interior of your home, the throbbing in his temples making him stop and shut his lids, not needing to analyze the place he was at less than two weeks ago when you had called him over. Jungkook briefly wonders if he should sneak his way out, not used to waking up on the couch instead of in your bed right beside you, maybe he had said something last night that crossed the line and landed him on the couch as a punishment.

As you finally emerge from your room his plan of escape is put to a stop, his eyes gravitating towards your bedroom door, seeing the way you cautiously step out. Having heard Jungkook wake up since you had already been awake for the past hour, your body not allowing you to sleep while knowing he was in the other room, it took a few minutes of courage before you were able to face him.

Spotting him on your couch shows how much he doesn’t belong, the pinned leather jacket he wore looking so harsh against the light coloring of your furniture, his dark disheveled hair contrasting with the tidy way you organized your apartment. He senses it, the skin crawling sensation that spreads the longer you stare at him, how he felt so out of place somewhere he used to call home at one point.

“Thank you for picking me up.” He chooses to break the silence, voice raspy, his internal self screaming at him for always doing this. His eyes are sincere, genuinely meaning it, knowing just how messy he got when he had too much to drink, how his friends could never handle him when he crossed the line and began to call for you.

Like always his words were routine so he expects it when you huff and say, “You need better friends Jungkook.”

“I know.” Because he did, he knew his friends enabled him, riled him up and once he became too much they pushed him onto you, knowing Jungkook’s grip on you was still too strong for you to ever say no.

“What if I hadn’t picked you up? Would they have left you on the side of the bar to fend for yourself?”

“Probably,” he shrugs, from past experiences he knows very well they would have. His friends had dealt with Jungkook crying over you far too much, their patience fully stamped out, no longer able to tolerate him when he became like this.

Not even realizing when he begins to smile as he thought of the nights you didn’t pick up, how he had ended up in the most random locations because he refused to go home to a place you weren’t, he snaps out of it when you scoff. “It’s not funny Jungkook, you could have gotten hurt or something.”

There it was, the reason you were upset. Not because he had called you and spewed the same bullshit he always did, no that you could tolerate. You were upset, and worried, that you’d get a following call from someone stating he had injured himself while calling for you.

“I know.”

You pause to breathe, his short responses not irking you like it should, arms crossed over your chest as you observe your ex boyfriend still sitting on the couch, looking like a scolded child.

“You can’t call me anymore Jungkook.” How you have the nerve to say that to him is funny, acting as if ten days ago you weren’t the one doing this to him, telling him you missed him, securing your anchor around his foot and dragging him back under with you.

This is the checklist you needed to go down, a formality of the morning after so he doesn’t mind it. Instead he frowns at the way you continue to say his name, the way it rolls off your tongue makes him wince, missing the way you’d call him Kookie, playful pet names like Bunny, something he swore he hated but secretly loved. Jungkook wished he could hear you say it again, humor you with that damned bunny eared headband he’d wear to hear you laugh, squeal as he posed and dance for whatever silly video you recorded as you shouted out the ridiculous nickname.

The last time he heard those words spill out of your mouth had been too long ago.

“I’m sorry.” he admits, he knew he had to stop, couldn’t continue to hold onto the past, knowing how wrong you were for each other but he wasn’t the only one. Those were the same words you told him ten days ago, apologizing with guilty eyes for asking him to come over when you were lonely, needing a familiar body to occupy the space next to you, wanting his hands to soothe you, make you feel whole again just for a night.

Once the sun came up it was back to normal, the two of you having the repeat conversation you had every time, the exact one you were having now. A formality. Nothing more, just mindless words that you would both agree to just to move along, to make you both feel better, more secure with yourself until the next time the phone rang.

Your heart twists in your chest as you look at him, the same toxic love you had for him brewing in your heart, spilling over and burning you but you ignore the pain, convince yourself you don’t feel it as you breathe in. That same rope latches around Jungkook’s ankle as you avert your eyes for a brief second before looking back at him with a small sigh. “Do you want breakfast? I know how you get when you have a hangover.”

He smiles for the first time, charming as always, looking up at you through the subtle waves in his hair. “I probably shouldn’t.”

You know this. He definitely shouldn’t because breakfast will turn into words exchanged, civil at first, flirty the next, a coin flipped to decide if a petty argument would begin or if you’d reminisce about the good times. Regardless of the outcome, what always followed ended with you moaning out his name as he rocked into you, those same empty promises spilling through his lips that you swallowed with a kiss.

A brief moment of bliss, a small dose of the past that only serves to hurt you further but you crave it, loving the small rush that came with arguing, the roughness of his hands as he pushed you around before sliding home, burying his face into your neck as he broke you down all over again.

Normally you’d try to convince him further, but as your mouth opens to protest you get flashes of the night before, how you had carried Jungkook up your flight of stairs, hearing him ramble about nonsense so slurred together you paid it no mind. You would have had him sleep in your bed beside you like you always did but when you fish his phone out and begin to slide his jacket off it buzzes to life.

Always being nosey you type in his password, smiling when you realize it was still your old anniversary but when you unlock it and see a flood of messages from a girl named Natalie, calling him babe, asking where he was, the smile falls from your face as you start to snoop.

It doesn’t take much scrolling through their thread of messages to easily discover she was his girlfriend, blissfully unaware that he was shit faced and calling you, confessing to his love for you while she laid at home and wondered if he was having fun with his friends. She reminded you of yourself, of the way you used to be with him and it left a sour feeling on your tongue.

“Yeah you probably shouldn’t.”

He stands up now, following you slowly as you approach the door, heavy boots thumping on the hardwood as he reluctantly steps closer to the exit. He doesn’t want to leave, wants you to try to convince him to stay, not knowing that you knew the dirty secret he was hiding buried in his phone.

You don’t decide to tell him you know, it was pointless. That was just how Jungkook was wired, so much love to give he had to spread it out, give everyone a fair share of it, choosing to pretend he wasn’t being selfish. It was naive to believe it, to think all the love he held was strictly for you, it was why he was able to pull the hood over your eyes so easily.

Even when you pull the door open and give him a tightlipped smile he knows you’ll still call him, forget all about Natalie when you’re lonely once more. So when you look him in the eyes and sigh, “Goodbye Jungkook.” He knows it’s not for long, maybe a week or so, maybe less.

He simply smiles, stuffing his hands into his jeans as he shuffles out, turning to face you as he steps backwards. “See you later Y/N.” And his words sting in a way he doesn’t mean, knowing just how right he was.

Jungkook would never mind how heavy the anchor you hooked on his ankle was because he knew you would forever be a sucker for him.

As you shut the door behind you it feels like a small weight starts to hang from your shoulders, the same tug starting from your chest, guiding you into your room until you’re pulling out the cursed box and sorting through those damned photos. With stinging eyes you flip through them for a moment, focusing on all the laughs captured on film, blurry vision moving to your phone beside you, hands already itching to call him again.

It’s as if he knows, still inside your building, lingering in the lobby to give you a moment and it doesn’t take long. Once his phone starts to vibrate he smiles, staring at the photo of you as you call him like clockwork. With a clear of his throat he answers the phone, barely saying hello before he hears a small sniffle through the speaker.

“I miss you Kookie.”

Jungkook lets his eyes shut as he presses the elevator button, loving the feeling of being needed by you, already knowing to head back up because this was routine.

“I know you do baby, I’ll be right up.”

And just like that you’re once again desperately trying to make those stupid puzzle pieces fit together, hoping that maybe this time love would be enough.

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