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whore-era · 1 year

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affinity - part 3

ellie williams x fem!reader

themes: angst, pining, best friends, unrequited love, love triangle, these lesbians finally end up together!!

summary: when ellie's plans to confess her feelings goes sideways.

a/n: last & final part. hope u all enjoy this one <3

word count: 4,559

3/3 | affinity - pt 1 , affinity - pt 2

tag list: @jolieetoile @kyleeservopoulos @ri4starshine @joliettes @machetegirl109 @zoddiachead @kyootsies @blairfox04 @frasersgf @3lliesrifle @freesmbdy134 @tweecunt @aryaharmon @whteflwcrs @kxixc @siesie2 @bigboobslilheart @1ov9r @yookayyo @wandsgale @apxtowiris @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @catostrophiclesbian @champagnelovers101 @s3xymoonman @overtrred28 @daddy-carpenter @elliewilliamsl0ver

“shit! jesse! they’re coming closer!”

poor sunshine’s legs are pushing as fast as they can against the snow, attempting to lose the horde of runners chasing after you. their screams ringing in your ears, eager to get a taste of any meat they can get their hands on.

“come on! we gotta get back to town and lose ‘em somehow!” jesse yells, his horse, blade, galloping as hard as his gaunt legs can go.

no. there’s no way you’re gonna lead them, these monsters, back to jackson. you’re on patrol for a reason. you’re there to protect. your mind goes to the neighborhood kids, and the sounds of their laughter when they scamper around the playground. your mind goes to mrs. clarkson, and how she’s 8 months along with her firstborn, a girl. your mind goes to mr. and mrs. rodriguez, and how they’ve been together for 52 years and how they start their mornings sitting on their porch and watching the sunrise as they sip on their coffee. your mind goes to the last time you saw ellie, with her lips on yours. you blink back tears, regretting not taking advantage of that moment to tell her you didn’t want ethan, and how you wanted to be with her instead, that you loved her.

shaking your head, you make the decision to protect the people you love and allow an opportunity for jesse to save himself.

you tug on sunshine’s lead to the right, “jesse! i’m gonna lead them away! go to back to town, now!” and before the raven-haired boy had any time to protest, you scream as loud as you can. attracting the runners with your voice.

“hey! uglies! over here!” you bellow, the pack of infected runners hot on your trail. looking back, relief washes over you as jesse manages to escape, free of any infected following his tail.

but you couldn’t help the fear sinking in your stomach, unsure if you would ever see the town of jackson again.

a few hours earlier

“god, joel. i’m so stupid.” ellie groans, “what if i scared her by kissing her? fuck, i should’ve asked her or something—”

“well, did she look scared?” the southern drawl of his voice questioned, bringing her back to last night’s events.

ellie’s hands were firmly on your waist, her lips pressed against yours, starting off with a slow, tender kiss. you immediately folded, relaxing into her mouth, allowing your lips to part slightly. ellie used the opportunity to slip her tongue into yours, letting you taste the bourbon she was drinking just hours before.

everything felt so right. your bodies molded into each other perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle. your veins were on fire, relishing in the searing session of her mouth hot on yours.

you were brought back to earth once you realized you were kissing ellie. you. were. kissing. ellie.

pulling away from her, your body immediately yearned to be against hers again, but you quickly squashed the urge to smash your lips against hers and bring her back inside your house and rut your cunt against her thi-

“i—” you managed to stutter out, “i h-have patrol in the m-morning.” and you quickly threw yourself inside, slamming your front door shut as you leaned your back against the wood surface.

ellie’s heart was palpating in her chest, nearly popping out of her body. the way your lips felt on hers was a feeling she felt like no other, and she would sell her soul to the devil if it meant she could experience it one more time.

“uh—no, don’t think so. she was kissing me back in the beginning, before she pulled away and slammed the door in my face,” ellie murmured, gaining a chuckle from her step-dad.

“well, i’ll be. think you just surprised her, that’s all,” joel reassured her, patting her back. ellie sighed, burying her face in her hands.

“why do feelings have to be complicated?” ellie’s voice comes out all muffled and garbled.

“who said it had t’be?” joel laughed, “look, let me ask you this. what do you feel when you look at her?”

ellie’s mind drifted to how you looked last night; the glow of the porch light illuminating every feature of your face perfectly — looking like an angel. from the slope of your nose bridge, to the pout of your lips, to the slight glimmer in your eyes — ellie was speechless. her brain went empty, only making space to focus on you.

“i—i don’t know, i just—” a smile mindlessly curls on ellie’s lips as her mind can’t rid of the thought of you.

“uh oh, you’re in deep.” joel lets out another boisterous laugh, amused at the girl’s puppy-love-like trance, “poor girl’s got you wrapped around her finger.”

ellie rolled her eyes, “yeah, yeah, whatever, old man.”

sending a quick glare the young girl's way, the older gentleman brought up another question to her attention. “how do you feel when you’re with her?”

ellie thought for a moment, “well, i’ve known her for years, so i’ve grown to be comfortable around her. i can talk to her about anything without feeling like she’s gonna judge me or some shit. we can do anything together and find a good time out of it all. whenever i’m mad about something that happened on patrol, or i’m sad because of whatever — she’s the first person i wanna talk to. she makes me feel like— like— everything’s gonna be alright,” ellie continued her tangent, “when i’m with her, i get that feeling like when we’re done fighting some runners or something, and we’re full of adrenaline and we’re just so— so proud and relieved.”

ellie takes a breath, “that’s how i feel when i’m with her. and i wanna feel like that all the time.”

joel smiles at the girl before him, as she opens her heart and spills out all the feelings and words she’s accumulated over the years — over one girl. he reminisces on his own love, sarah’s mom, who was his once-in-a-lifetime love. one he’ll never get to experience again, but was lucky to have to remember forever and on.

“see? why y’gotta make it complicated for yourself?” he asks, “just tell her what you told me. easy as that.”

ellie nodded, knowing that the only way she could truly win you back was, to be honest with you. the girl quickly scurried off to her shed, mapping out an elaborate plan to tell you how she felt and how she could make it memorable.

“thanks, old man!” she yelled as she ran inside her little shed.

“no problem!” joel yells, “hey! stay inside, ya’hear? it’s beginning to blizzard out there!” the older man reminded ellie, but she just waved him off. but little did she know, the harsh wind and snow would be the reason why she would be waiting for you to come back home.

ellie spent the rest of her day off planning a special night for you, filled with reruns of your favorite 90’s sitcom on VHS, your favorite snacks, and your favorite dinner. she was currently headed to the town’s mart, fetching some last minute things to decorate her shed with to make it all pretty for you, just how you like it.

ellie let out a breath, observing her hot breath turn icy white in the midst of the blizzard. thankfully, the snow wasn’t blowing too hard. opening the door of the mart, she rubbed her boots against the mat, careful not to slip.

“well, if it isn’t ellie fucking williams?”

she turns her head, greeted by the short, choppy-haired girl she’d been hoping to avoid. shit, i forgot she worked here. ellie cursed in her thoughts.

“hi, cat.” ellie said sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck, “good to see you. you look good.”

“mm, we’re not doing this,” cat snarks, popping a piece of bubblegum, “you haven’t talked to me in like 4 days. what’s up with that, huh?”

ellie sighs, closing her eyes before opening them again. she was screwed. “i just had shit to deal with cat, sorry.”

“like a certain girl you’ve been best friends with for years?”

“how’d you know?”

cat scoffed, “she was glaring at me all night the evening she got plastered at the tipsy bison. thought she was gonna kill me.”

ellie laughed at the thought of you making a grouchy face at cat. it warmed her heart, knowing her girl had a jealous side to her.

“yeah— sorry about that. i- uh- should’ve told you about that sooner,” ellie apologizes. she was aware of how shitty of an apology it was, but she wasn’t sure what else to say.

“mhm, yeah,” cat rolled her eyes, “it’s fine. i saw it coming. we had fun while it lasted, williams.”

“what do you mean?”

“are you really that dense, ellie? everyone in town can see how close you are to each other, and it was just a matter of time before you realized your feelings for her,” cat admitted, putting away some cans on the shelves.

“oh.” was all ellie could say. god, she really was stupid.

“anyways, no hard feelings here. just FYI.”

“yeah, thanks, cat. i appreciate that. wouldn’t blame you if you did harbor any though,” ellie said, beginning her shop throughout the small mart.

once ellie found all the necessary things she needed, she traded her items and left. the snow was blowing even harder than it was before, causing ellie to check her watch. she had an hour left before you and jesse got back from patrol, giving her all the time she needed to finish setting things up in her shed.

she hurried back home, and got to work sorting the fairy lights out in her room, hanging them on the edge of the walls and across the ceiling. decorating certainly built a sweat, and by the time ellie was done hanging all the lights, putting out all the food, and setting up the projector, she was exhausted. but ellie knew it was worth it, just imagining your face once you saw everything she did for you was enough for ellie to keep pushing through with her plan.

checking the time again, she jumped in shock and clambered around for her jacket, slipping it over her hoodie. ellie headed out to the gates, so she could be there to greet you once you got back. filled with excitement, she couldn’t help but walk with a little pep in her step, even though the snow was blowing at such a high speed.

once she made it to the tall, lumber gates, ellie could see a crowd of people gathering nearby the stables and from a distance, she caught a glimpse of jesse.

sprinting over to the swarm of people, ellie grabbed jesse’s shoulder.

“what’s going on?” ellie noticed jesse was by himself and you were nowhere to be seen, “where is she?” her brain immediately jumped to the worst possible case scenario, assuming you were out there by yourself, fighting off a pack of clickers or something worse.

jesse turned to look at ellie, a decision he immediately regretted, knowing it’d be impossible for him to lie to those piercing green-eyes.

“listen— ellie, let’s take a breather—” outrage boiled inside ellie’s stomach, and she cut jesse off with a strong shove to the chest, sending him back a few feet.

“where the fuck is she, jesse?!” the brunette yelled, “did you just fucking leave her alone? out there?!”

jesse took ahold of ellie’s shoulders, shaking her a little, “will you let me get a fuckin’ word in?!”

“this better be good.”

ellie pushed jesse’s hands off of her, taking a couple of deep breaths. “we were ambushed by a pack of runners by the old tire factory four kilometers down,” jesse recounted, “we couldn’t see a thing, els. the snow was blowin’ in our faces, and i guess we were talkin’ too loud— next thing i knew, we were runnin’ for our lives. didn’t have the ammo to take them all down.”

“what happened, jess?” it took everything in her to hold back a sob, “please.”

“all i heard her yell was for me to go back to town, that she’ll lead them away. then she took off in the other direction, all those fuckers chasing after her,” jesse’s voice cracked, only now realizing the gravity of the situation.

“why the fuck would you let her do that?! you should’ve chased after her or— or—” ellie pounded on jesse’s chest, rage fueling her every action. all she could see was red, blinded by the fury.

jesse took her fists in his hands, attempting to calm ellie down, but there was no avail. “you know how she is, els! she’s stubborn as fuck and she doesn’t listen to anyone else—” he breathes out, “she loves this town more than anything in this fuckin’ world. i should’ve known she would’ve done some stupid shit like that.”

a tear rolls down ellie’s face, knowing in her heart that everything jesse was saying was true, and she couldn’t argue with him about that.

“she would’ve never forgiven herself if anything happened or— or someone here got hurt,” jesse muttered.

“this is all your fault! you— you should’ve done something, jess! anything! instead— you left her out there to di—” ellie couldn’t shake off the anger that simmered inside her. she was finding every excuse to blame everyone else, not wanting to face the truth that it was your decision and your decision alone to do this.

“hey!” jesse screams, “you think you’re the only person in this fucking town who cares about her?! newsflash, ellie! you’re fuckin’ wrong!”

jesse couldn’t stand the incessant screams coming from her. he was already beating himself over it, guilt washing over him every time he was reminded that he just abandoned you.

“she’s my- she’s my fuckin’ best friend too, ellie!” a tear streams down jesse’s face, “i would’ve fuckin’ traded places with her in a heartbeat! and you know that!”

at this point, jesse and ellie are in full-blown tears. ellie struggles to respond to jesse, and all she could do was hug the boy in front of her. she didn’t mean anything she said, and she knew he tried his best.

“i love her, jess. i love her,” ellie sobs into his jacket, not caring if snow gets in her face. “what if she’s out there alone? or what if she’s bit? or dea—”

jesse cuts her off, “no. don’t even think that,” he grabs ahold of her shoulders again, “if there’s one thing we both know ‘bout her is that she’s tough and she knows what she’s doin’ when she’s out there. we’ll go after her once the snow slows down.”

all they could do was wait. as much as jesse, ellie, and even dina protested, joel and tommy weren’t letting anyone out, saying that the snow is still coming down too hard and that it was going to be dark soon. it took four stable boys and three other patrol men to restrain the trio from going out on their own and finding you themselves.

as the hours passed and the sun went down, anxiety and panic begin to set in ellie further and further.

she couldn’t restrain herself anymore, and walked towards the stables for shimmer, deciding that she’d search for you herself. not caring how many people tried to hold her back. ellie needed to get her girl back.

approaching shimmer’s stable, ellie tries to pull her gate open but it didn’t budge, realizing they put a padlock on her stall.

“fuck!” ellie screams, kicking a nearby metal bucket, creating a loud ‘clang’ sound. she sat down on a bench, putting her head in her hands and attempting to stop the tears from flowing out of her eyes.

“you know, it’ll do no good if you go out there by yourself.”

ellie picks her head up, seeing the voice was from maria.

“she needs you here, ellie. you know she’d throw a fit if she found out you went out in the blizzard by yourself,” maria commented, taking a seat on the bench beside ellie.

“what if i lost the only chance i had to tell her i loved her?” ellie croaks out, looking at maria with glossy, bloodshot eyes. the older woman wraps an arm around her, pulling her in for a much-needed side hug, “i’m so fucking stupid, maria. so, so stupid.”

“she’ll come back. our girl, she’s resilient,” maria coos, “those runners out there, they should be the ones whose scared.”

ellie laughed a little through her tears as maria rubbed the side of her shoulder, “if she doesn’t come back by mornin’, we’ll all search for her, okay?”

the emerald-eyed girl nods, using her hoodie sleeve to wipe her tears.

“hey! i see someone coming!” ellie and the older woman hear one of the guards yelling. both of them scramble to their feet, rushing to see who it was.

“open the gates!” joel commands. the towering gates slowly unfold, revealing you strolling inside with sunshine.

you have never been so relieved to see those shimmering lights in the distance. after spending nearly nine hours cooped up in a smelly outhouse to hide from the runners, you and sunshine made a go for it, nearly snapping your ankle in the process. but you were thankful you were in one piece and uninfected.

limping next to sunshine, the first person you see is jesse. he races towards you, suffocating you in a tight bear hug, lifting you off the snow and spinning you around. once he sets you back on the ground, he gently punches you in the shoulder.

“you’re so fuckin’ dumb for doin’ that, you know? we could’a lost you,” he wastes no time lecturing, earning an eye roll from you.

“one of us had to do it, jess,” your voice comes out sounding strained and weak from all the yelling hours prior.

jesse gives you a stern look, “it could’a been me. i don’t what i’d do if something happened to you,” he murmurs, pulling you in for another hug, “who’s gonna clean out all the alcohol now?”

you gasp and smack his shoulder, inciting a hearty laugh from the raven-haired boy. he’s never been so happy to see you in his life, and he’s relieved you’re alive and okay.

you’re taken aback when jesse is suddenly shoved onto the ground, the snow cushioning his fall. ellie appears in your view and she takes your face in her hands, scanning your features for any sign of injury or bites or anything of the sort.

jesse groans in pain, holding his hip, “jeez, an ‘excuse me’ would’a sufficed,” he murmurs before he hobbles away, leaving you two alone.

“what happened, baby? where were you?” ellie whispers, her hands never leaving your face, afraid that this would somehow all be a dream and you would slip from her fingertips.

your heart flutters in your chest at her pet name, “i-i was at the farm, down the mountain. i was hiding in an outhouse,” your nose crinkles, “wasn’t the most pleasant experience. i’d give it a three out of ten.”

ellie laughs, despite a couple of tears falling from her eyes, “yeah?”

you nod, “then when the coast was clear, i made a run for it and got on shimmer. think i sprained my ankle though,” you let out a soft hiss as the pain in your ankle shoots up your leg, “besides that, m’fine. just starving.”

ellie wraps her arm around your waist, holding onto you and making sure you don’t stumble. you both see ethan walk over to you, and before ethan had a chance to say something, ellie held her hand up.

“woah, woah, woah there,” ellie declares, “she needs her rest, so i’m gonna take her home. got that, horse-boy?” and ellie whisks you away from everyone else, allowing ethan to take sunshine back to the stables and in her stall.

you didn’t bother to protest, as you were way too exhausted, and you liked seeing ellie get jealous over you for once.

managing to limp all the way to ellie’s shed, you both make it back within due time. ellie rummages through her pockets for her key.

“before we go in, i just wanna warn you, i had this plan for you to tell you how i felt and i was waiting for you to come back but-”

you cut her off, letting out a soft giggle, “ellie, just open the door.”

“yes, ma’am.”

she unlocks the door, swinging it open and allowing you to enter first. you step inside, drinking in the sight in front of you. dainty fairy lights adorned her walls and ceilings, your favorite chips and candy are sprawled out in cute serving bowls, two plates of your favorite meal are neatly set with fancy cutlery, and your favorite show was in the VHS, waiting to be played.

you were in awe. your heart swelled ten sizes bigger, and all you could feel was euphoria. ellie did all of this? for you? if you would’ve known sooner, you would’ve made an effort to come back quicker.

“it’s perfect, els,” you breathe out, looking up at her with a smile.

she gives you a soft kiss on your forehead, “it’s all for you, babe.”

there it was again, those damn butterflies.

leading you by your hand, she brings you inside, guiding you toward her bed. sitting down on the cushion of the mattress, you take off your backpack and put it to the side.

“wanna get cleaned up first? i have some extra clothes you can borrow and you can use the shower,” ellie suggests, holding up a pile of sleepwear.

“yea, i feel icky,” you say scrunching your nose, eliciting a laugh from the brunette.

you shimmy your jacket off and lift your shirt above your head, tossing it to the side. ellie takes it upon herself to help you out of your pants, and she pulls you up on your feet by the belt loops of your jeans, unbuttoning them and peeling them off your thighs.

she gently pushes you back down to sit on the bed, and ellie crouches down in front of you, lifting your legs up to remove your pants. her breath hitches in her throat as she sneaks a peek at your blue, cotton panties.

get your mind out of the gutter, ellie. you’re a gentlewoman.

standing up, you shift your weight on your unaffected foot. ellie snakes her arm around your bare waist, attempting to pry her eyes away from your chest. her mind is spinning, dizzy from the thought of having you naked in her place right now. clearing her throat, she takes your other hand and leads you toward the bathroom.

her hand turns the shower on, checking the water periodically to see if it’s at a comfortable temperature for you. “here, i think the water’s fine.”

limping towards the shower, ellie leaves a towel and the clean clothes on a bare spot on the sink, and heads out the door, “shout if you need me, i’ll come running.”

as the water splashes on your skin, your muscles relax. washing away today’s events from your mind and rinsing off the mud from your skin, you feel a thousand times better. you savor the steam and how it helps you breathe again, feeling like you can inhale and exhale clearly. turning off the water, you step out of the shower and pat yourself dry with the towel.

slipping the clothes on, you step out to ellie’s room, finding her sat on the bed, fiddling with the projector. the smell of your favorite dish wafts in your nose, and you turn your head to see steam rising from the plate. ellie managed to reheat the food and get the projector going, determined to give you the special night you deserved. for her special girl.

realizing you’re out of the shower, ellie gets up and fixes her clothes, “i— uh— got everything set up for you.”

a small smile forms across your face, realizing that ellie was nervous. your stomach tied in knots, excited for what was to come tonight.

“here, we don’t wanna put too much weight on that ankle,” she comes over and guides you to sit back down on the bed, lifting your leg and placing a small pillow under your sore ankle, inciting a small grimace from your face.

“there we go. all better,” ellie murmurs, placing a hand on your thigh.

you smile, “thank you for helping me. but you didn’t have to do all of this, you know?”

“i wanted to. i mean— i had to show you in some way that i’m serious about you and that i want to be with you.” her green eyes soften when they connect with yours.

“ellie—”

she shakes her head, “no. don’t do that,” ellie sighs, “i’m so sorry it took me this long to realize i love you. it took having to see you with fucking ethan to know that i couldn’t survive in this wasteland of a world if it wasn’t me and you against it.”

tears begin to water in the corners of her eyes, “you know— when i was waiting for you, i was just stuck with this horrible feeling of just..not knowing what happened to you,” her voice cracks a little, “i was so scared, so fucking scared, baby. i thought the universe was punishing me, giving me the karma i deserved for not telling you that i love you sooner. thought i was gonna lose you.”

you wrap your arms around ellie’s neck, pulling her close to you. her tears were dampening your shirt, but you didn’t care. it felt like you were in a dream, a dream you’ve had a hundred times before. a dream where the girl you fell in love with all those years ago was confessing her feelings to you, laying her heart out wide in the open.

but this was real. everything was real.

pulling away from you, she looks at your face with tear-filled eyes, “if i were to ever lose you, i’d lose myself,” her voice trembles, “everything i’ve done here in jackson, everything i’ve accomplished here was all because of you. it’s you and me, babe.”

you didn’t even realize you were crying until a tear falls down from your cheek. tears shedding from your eyes, you cup ellie’s cheeks and press your lips against hers. her hands instinctively make their way to your waist, kissing you back with everything she had in her.

you pull away for a second to take a breath, leaning your forehead against hers, “it’s me and you,” you whisper against her lips before you press them against hers one more time.

the whole night is spent with you cuddled up against ellie, laughing ‘til your belly hurt at your favorite episodes, and throwing pieces of candy at her whenever she made a dumb joke.

but you knew this is where you were supposed to be, where you belonged. with ellie. and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

this is the end! thank u everyone for sticking w/ me til the end. i <3 u all.

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie x reader angst #ellie x fem!reader

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thelightsandtheroses · 1 month

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seven: me and the devil, walking side by side

Your Hand In Mine | Joel Miller x female reader.

Chapter summary: an unwelcome visitor brings everything to a head Chapter warnings: Reader is a single parent to a teenager, mentions of breakups, discussions of cults/religious movements and violence within these, threat of a gun, tension, lightly implied panic attack/anxiety, 18+ blog mdni, Notes: Chapter title i

s from Me and the Devil, originally by Gil-Scott Heron but I have both this and the Soap&Skin version on my playlist for this fic. Thanks for all of your patience with this chapter. It’s a big one! Word Count: 5.4k

Previous | Series | Next

You’ve been through breakups before. It’s nothing new. Usually you like to be the one to leave before you can be left. That takes out some of the salt in the wound.

Your separation from Joel hurts though. It physically hurts.

Your chest aches, your eyes sting, you miss him. Every small detail brings Joel to you; a flannel shirt, the soap everyone in Jackson.

You’re not sure if it’s because you’ve distanced yourself from a good man - and aren’t those rare to find?- or the impending fear of The Junction. Perhaps it’s both.

On the moments that Joel is not haunting you, your past is.

Beau once asked you whether you were sure that breaking up with Joel was a good idea, if it would perhaps be better to bring him on side. That’s Beau; a survivor, pragmatic to his core.

You can’t quite find the words to voice what it would have meant to you to tell Joel. You still feel complicit somehow in everything that Ethan did, you realised too late, you didn’t stop him. There’s too much shame ingrained in your body for you to tell Joel.

The pain of the breakup feels like a suitable punishment.

“Anything?” you ask Beau as you sip your tea in the kitchen.

Beau shakes his head wearily. “No sign on anyone yet.” He pauses. “If I had to say anything though, it’s almost too …. clean. There’s no sign of anyone, sweetheart, anyone or anything.”

“They’re cleaning their tracks?”

“Probably.”

“Shit. We should leave.”

“We’re better off here than out there,” Beau replies calmly, “‘sides, we can’t just haul Gabe off in the middle of the night now. He’ll ask questions.” There’s an unspoken question - will you ever tell your son the truth?

“I hate this.”

“Me too. We’re going to get through this though.”

“Are we?”

“Of course.”

“Who were you patrolling with?” you ask, eager to change the subject.

Beau shifts uncomfortably. “Just -”

“Joel?”

He nods. ‘Did he notice the clean-up?“

“Things like that don’t get past him. He’s … aware of techniques like that.” probably for the same reasons as Beau. Their chequered histories made them survivors and in some strange kept people they love safe - Ellie for Joel, Sean and you for Beau. “We both commented on it. Joel doesn’t know about the junction though, he’ll assume it’s more like raiders. He wants to raise it in the town meeting tonight - I think he’d mention it sooner if it was more than just a theory. Maybe that can work to our advantage though.”

“How?”

“Well, if he says to Maria then she’ll probably put a stop to traders for a bit. That might protect us a little longer if Jackson’s more closed. It’ll give us time to decide on what we’re doing.” Beau smiles at you. “You and Sean, you’re not alone in this. You, Gabriel, Sean and me … we’re sticking together.”

You nod, sniffing loudly. You won’t cry, you won’t.

“There’s a trader in,” Esther says casually, smiling as you look up from your books.

It’s probably nothing, it’s probably just one of the usual traders who passes through Jackson, but that doesn’t explain why your blood is turning cold and your palms are sweaty.

“A trader? One of our usuals?”

“No, no, never seen him before.”

“Oh, really?” you ask, schooling your expression as much as you can. “What does he look like?”

“Not as good looking as Joel Miller, how you let a man like that go, I will never know.” Esther sighs and you remember that when Joel first came to town, Tommy had been trying to match the two of them. It hadn’t lasted long. You’d asked Joel about it once but he’d been polite, a southern gentleman to a tee so you knew even if there was a story, it wasn’t one you’d hear any time soon.

“Well, I’m sure he’d be heartened to hear your support on that. So, the trader?”

“I don’t know, he had dark hair and he - he had presence, a slight limp though.”

“A limp?”

“Uh huh. Shame really, and some burns but other than that …. he seemed real friendly, had a Victorian doll for trade too, might have some things for your boy. I heard a rumour about coffee.”

You walk past Esther, barely letting her complete her sentences before you’re heading out of the library.

Beau’s on the way to the hall. He’s in the stables and you can see him chatting with Ellie as you approach them.

“Hey Beau, Hi Ellie,” you say, walking in and smiling broadly. You think it’s a normal, false smile but by Beau’s expression, and Ellie’s, you’ve failed miserably. “Beau, there’s a trader at the community hall, want to go check it out?”

Beau looks at you and you hope he’s noticed how you said trader, how you all but winked and raised an eyebrow at the gesture.

“Oh, really?”

“We were talking about trading some of our old stuff soon, right? From back when?”

He definitely understands now. “Of course. Ellie, it was real nice talkin’ to you.”

Before you can leave, Ellie grabs you arm. “Wait, can you just wait a moment?”

No, you think, but it’s Ellie and you’ve already let her down so many times recently, that you nod. “Catch up in a moment, Beau?”

“Okay. I’ll be outside.” If you know, he’ll probably be working on a plan, just in case. He’ll be looking for signs of more of them. You and Sean told him about Ethan’s strategies, about his plans if that first gated community failed.

Ellie looks worried, her arms are folded around herself and it reminds you she’s still just a child, only fifteen. Younger than your own son.

“How are you doing, Ellie?”

“I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re sorry?”

“Yeah, over the whole arm thing and the accident. I know it made you and Joel argue and then - and then you broke up. I know it’s-”

“Ellie, it was nothing to do with that,” you say vehemently, “Nothing at all about you. I promise.”

“Then why? I thought you liked him?”

“I did.” You do.

“I’ll never understand any of this,” Ellie laments, shaking her head. “Why not just - why’d you come into our lives just to do this then?”

You would have preferred it if she hit you. “I never wanted to hurt you, or Joel. I promise that. I’m - I have to go, Ellie, but I - we can talk more.”

“‘S no point. Unless, is there?” Ellie looks up hopefully.

You shake your head, digging your hands into your pockets. “Take care, Ellie.”

You have to get to the hall, you have to hope your fears are unfounded.

You can’t feel your fingers.

You know.

There are fresh flowers on each table in the hall; it’s a simple gesture, one that intimates the security, the homeliness of Jackson. It’s a place where you can do that again, it’s about living not surviving.

It clashes with the raging survival instinct in you, the fear that your home isn’t as safe as you hoped. The knowledge that everything is about to come crashing down.

What if they’ve already infiltrated? What if there’s been a Junction spy reporting back for months? They would despise you for what you did. They would demand your blood. But what if he …

You look over at the crowd around the trader and begin moving forward with Beau, each step in sync, his presence an unspoken crutch.

You hope you’re wrong about this.

He is not who you remember. That is the first thing you think when you see him. His hair is longer now with his limp, thinning dark locks tied back in a scraggly ponytail. There are more lines on his face, a vicious burn on one hand and you know underneath his clothes will be the hidden scars you left him with - you missed the first time. The second time you hit his leg though.

His eyes widen with delight when he sees you walk into the building. “You,” he exclaims, “At long last, we meet again.”

In your imagination, this scene always was more obviously like a horror film. In your nightmares, you’d be bleeding, taken, surviving once more. The scene was always in some abandoned warehouse, cabin or barn too.

You watched too many movies growing up.

However, you could have never expected this moment would happen in Jackson’s community hall. You could never have expected there would be an audience either. People are still milling around, looking at his potential wares, going about their day like the world hasn’t just ended once more. You want to scream at them, you want to call the insanity of this situation out but your feet are rooted to the floor with thick tendrils of fear holding you in place.

You notice Joel and Tommy at one table. Joel’s eyes look confused as he seems to gauge your expression.

You can see Sean standing near Maria. Sean looks so uneasy; almost grey, and you cannot imagine how your friend is feeling right now, you know he suffered in his own way at The Junction. His face is calm though, he’s planning, waiting for the right moment. You recognise the way his hands are shoved into his jeans pocket though, the way his eyes move wildly around the room when he thinks no one is looking at him.

Your legs feel shaky but you refuse to lean against Beau, to show any weakness in this situation. This situation has been a long time coming.

It’s been seventeen years. You are not who you were then. You have been shaped by him and the Junction, that is true, but you’ve become your own person again. Each tragedy, each win, each memory has sculpted who you are at this moment, has trained you for this moment.

Beau whispers your name, gives you choices on how you play this. He’s on your side, that’s clear, that’s beyond question. Part of you wants to hand the situation over to him, to let Beau deal with it while you bury your head in the sand once again.

That’s not possible though.

You wonder if it’s only the four of you who are aware of the tension at this moment. It’s a secret that your neighbours and friends can’t see, that you never wanted them to see.

And Joel -

Everyone is in danger now.

“Hi honey,” Ethan says loudly with a smile, “It’s been a while. Why don’t you come on over and say hi to your husband now?”

His words have the desired effect; everyone stops, everyone stares, heads moving in a ripple of movement throughout the hall.

Next to Sean, Maria’s smile fades and her face hardens. You hear the hushed whispers around you as they realise Ethan is looking and talking to you.

It’s Joel you want to look at though. You feel drawn to him like Orpheus, knowing you can’t look and desperate to all at once. You remember how he was unable not to turn around in those Greek myths, how you’d argued in class it was foolish and inevitable all at once.

Is this you now? Are you the damned, foolish one? Is your failure, your doom, inevit

Seeing Ethan solidifies everything; Joel is the person you love, the man who loved you and you have lost him because of your secrets and past, in a foolhardy attempt to protect Gabriel.

Gabriel. He’s nowhere to be found as you look around you and you’re grateful for that. You can protect him for just a few more minutes.

Instead of your son, instead of Ethan, you finally allow yourself to glance at Joel. Joel’s face is pulled into a frown and he looks … hurt. You’ve hurt him once again.

You can imagine his thoughts right now - he’ll be wondering why he bothered to trust you, how you hid this from him and why.

“I -” you stutter words, your mouth opening and closing without making any sense. You exhale slowly. “How’s your leg?”

Sean bursts out laughing. It’s a strange, mangled giggle borne of surprise and worry that immediately stops as people look at him.

“So how’s that how we’re playing things, huh?”

“This isn’t a game, Ethan.”

“Isn’t everything you do a game?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t - you were married, you were married to him?” Tommy exclaims, looking at Joel and then you in the vain hope one of you will provide an answer. There’s an unspoken conversation between the two brothers, one clearly Tommy isn’t happy about. “Who is he?” Tommy says your name in a low voice, imploring you to confide in him.

“He shouldn’t be here, he needs to leave.”

“I need to leave?” Ethan asks, an unreadable expression on his face. “So you haven’t told them anything about who you really are then? They don’t know there’s a fox in the chicken coop?” He says your name, tutting with disappointment.

Whispers carry around you like leaves in the wind. You’re not sure what people are thinking right now. You’ve been too quiet, too secretive, it would be easy to wonder who you really are. In another world, maybe this is who would have been - his dutiful wife and spy.

You notice Maria saying something quietly to Tommy, how the two of them are subtly clearing the hall of bystanders. Joel is staring between you and Ethan with a blank face.

Do they think you’re a victim or the perpetrator in this scenario? You notice Beau take the smallest step forward, readying himself for something.

“I don’t think this conversation is serving our community right now,” Maria says flatly.

“Hey Joel,” you hear a familiar voice call. ”Has the trader got anything good? You better not have traded like half of everything you own for coffee again. I honestly don’t get the whole coffee thing anyway, it tastes like burnt- ” Ellie’s voice breaks off.

Your heart races as Ellie, Jesse and to your horror Sean walk into the community hall, completely oblivious to what’s happened but seemingly starting to realise that something is going on.

“Not now, Ellie,” Joel gruffly says.

“What’s uh -” Ellie breaks off.

Ethan is staring at Gabriel and your heart sinks. For sixteen years, you have convinced yourself that Gabriel doesn’t look like Ethan, that there’s no passing resemblance at all.

There is though.

You see it now and it feels like a glaring beacon, another lie come home to roost. A truth you couldn’t avoid forever. He’s yours, you know that, but together in the same room you can see the similarities.

“Mu-” Ethan begins warily, noticing the tension around the room. He looks alert, worried, ready to do whatever is necessary. That’s how it is in this world - you have drummed survival into him from an early age. It feels antithetical though, that the child you want to protect and nurture knows how to fight, how to endure this world you placed him into.

Sean immediately takes a step towards him, but Joel’s there first, a strange look in his eyes. “You need to go home, all of you. Now.”

“But -”

“No arguments, Ellie.” His tone is firm. To anyone else, they would think him a strict parent, a firm, resolute man who accepts no arguments. You can hear the worry though, the slight fear in his voice that Ellie is here. That you have endangered her. Endangered everyone.

“Ergh,” Ellie says but she holds her hands up and takes a step backwards exit with Jesse. She looks over at you and then Ethan and then Gabriel, a frown forming on her face and then she pauses.

“Well, isn’t today full of revelations,” Ethan says in a wonderstruck tone. “It’s curious. He really does look -”

“Oh fuck off.”

It’s enough though. Those few words and you realise Gabriel is putting things together. The betrayal and fury in his eyes eviscerates you.

You look at the ground, hearing the shudder of your breath. No. No.

“Holy shit,“ you hear Ellie mumble under her breath.

“Ellie!” Joel says, the desperation starting to become clearer.

How much does our -” Ethan continues.

“Ethan, shut the fuck up and just go,” Sean interrupts.

“You’ve got braver on the outside. It’s a shame you showed none of this in the Junction when -”

“Thank you for stopping by,” Maria says, her voice even and cool, “It’s time you head on out now though.”

Joel clasps Gabriel’s shoulder so he can’t pass, can’t get any closer to the chaos around you.

“Leave, huh? Well, I think that perhaps you’re mistaken. I didn’t just come here for my son after all.” Ethan sighs. “It’s been a hard winter.”

Joel tightens his grip on Gabriel’s shoulder. Beau and Tommy exchange a look.

You wish you had a weapon, had something to stop this.

You shouldn’t have missed the first time, you shouldn’t have aimed for his leg the second time either.

“So, how many settlements have you been through now?” Sean asks in a nonchalant tone. “I think after two or three, it really says more about -”

“The Junction goes where it is needed. I have heard it is needed here.”

“We don’t need the Junction here,” you say quietly. “No one needs that.”

“You’d rather be damned?”

“If the alternative is an eternity with you, with pleasure,” you say icily.

You hear a slight snort of laughter and turn to meet Joel. He’s still resting a hand on your son’s shoulder, but he’s looking at you. He nods, a subtle gesture anyone else might have missed but that fills you with relief.

You might get through this.,

“You got your fire back, I’d almost forgotten. Now, what was it you used to say when we discussed this. When we discussed what to do about reluctant participants, people who didn’t know they needed to be saved? You remember this is the nice way? It could have been very different after all, but I am here offering magnanimous absolution, even to you.”

“I don’t need your absolution. I don’t need anything from you but for you to go now. For you to leave this settlement, leave these people alone. That’s what all of them need, to be away from you.”

“You think it’s right that they’re here without the Junction’s Word, but maintain all these resources while your own-”

“Leave. While you can,” you say flatly.

“Do these people even know you?”

“You need to go, Ethan, now,” Sean says firmly. “We said we don’t need the Junction here. This can end amicably.”

“Amicably?”

“Yeah, no need for it not to, right? Democracy over depravity - that’s the Junction’s way, right? The old ways, the right ways as you used to call it.” Sean’s face twists into a tormented grimace at those words.

Beau scowls and you realise that while you’ve kept the Junction in a box for seventeen years, Sean hasn’t. He has told Beau, he has talked about it. It’s you who has been stuck.

“You dare speak of the ways when you -“

“Just go, now. Sean’s right,” you say firmly.

“Amicably, is that what he said?” Ethan asks, regarding you again with a scornful expression that turns your blood so cold, you’re amazed you’re not exhaling ice. “Amicably.”

“Ellie, all three of you, I am not playin’” you hear Joel say in a deadly tone.

The three teenagers make a move to leave, relief flooding your veins as you gratefully nod at Joel.

Gabriel is the last to leave, he hangs back until Joel nods at him firmly, but as he moves to the door - he’s almost gone, he’s almost safe - there’s a sound.

“Nope,” Ethan says coldly, “He stays.”

You look at Ethan, at the gun in his hand, pointed directly at you.

“Mum?” Gabriel asks, his voice shaky.

“I thought Eugene fucking searched the traders,” Joel yells at Tommy or Maria, or perhaps you or Beau. All you can see is the barrel.

You’ve always known how this is ends for you.

“You should leave now,” Joel says in a deadly tone. For a moment you’re not sure if he’s talking to you or Ethan. You spin around, meeting his gaze desperately.

His hand on Gabriel is firm enough to stop him from either fleeing or running towards Ethan. You notice the way his muscles are slightly tensed, not too tight, but you make out his vein snaking down his arm.

You’ve mentally prepared for a dozen reactions to what is going on around you: disgust, hatred, pity, but you didn’t expect what meets you. Joel’s face is steely, poised to fight but a flash of fear passes his eyes when you connect with them. He is afraid for you, he is worried. There is no hatred, no disgust, nothing you expected.

He is not asking for you to leave. He is trying to protect you.

It’s like a lead balloon in your stomach. Maybe, maybe you could have said something all this time ago.

“Trust me, she’s not worth it,” Ethan says conversationally. “This settlement, my son? Now those are different stories.

“Are there others here?” you ask suddenly as you piece more of the day together. You can barely recognise your flat voice, the way you’re not entirely in your own body any more. You’re existing, and now you know that because you’ve finally been living and now you know what that is, you’ll lose it all*. “Did they help you keep the gun?”* Someone could be here from the Junction and you need them gone too.

Ethan pivots, takes a couple of steps forward and turns around the room, observing the rapt, frozen crowd around you both. It transports you instantly to dusty rooms, to a younger, more vibrant man you thought wanted to do something good in the world. It takes you back to a place you wanted to belong in, to a time you believed and hung off every single word he said.

“Others?”

“Yes, are they already here?”

“Why would -”

“I know your plays, I know them all.”

“Do you?”

You stare blankly at him, raise an eyebrow slightly. “No. I thought I did, but I didn’t. I thought you were someone else.”

“I am the voice of -”

“You’re a tyrant, a hypocrite and a snake oil salesman all wrapped up. You don’t speak a word of truth and you never have.”

“I’m the vessel, and so is my -”

“If you speak about my son, I will rip you apart so violently it will make the infected look tame.”

“You didn’t have these teeth before. What a pity. It would have been useful.”

“Go.”

“We’re past that.”

You realise he’s right. He’s in Jackson now, this ends one of two ways. Tommy and Joel, they can’t let him leave like this. You can recognise the desperation in his eyes, the hunger, the plans and strategies.

“You’re my wife. I am not going without you and my son.”

“We’re staying here.”

“No. I’m not,” Gabriel says, “Not with her.”

“Gabriel, shut up,” Sean snaps uncharacteristically. “Just leave it now.”

“My son ”

“You want to talk about the Junction? Let’s talk about it then. Gabriel, did you want to grow up in a place that would kill you if you -” You zone out as Sean continues, unable to fully bear the full truth of life in the Junction being exposed to the people around you.

You remember being hungry so much, the fear of breaking a new rule or tenet that your husband came up with. You remember how the inclusive, welcoming commune it was supposed to be shifted. How it became radicalised, against any sign of difference or subversion of what Ethan thought a person should be like. You remember the sexism, the way your voice began to become quieter and quieter.

You remember that Ethan scared you, that his move to the Vessel was antithetical with everything you knew about him. How his words, his dreams became literal, how he looked like he hated you by the end. You remember the violence of the Junction, you remember the lack of excuses.

In some ways, in many ways, it was worse than Kansas.

“Did I physically harm you? Did I not lead you to salvation, to the tenets of hope?” Ethan asks, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“The tenets? The ones that started off just close enough to normal and then suddenly you decreed that women couldn’t wear trousers because it affected the crops, or that if I spoke unless spoken to it would damn me, or that declared you the sudden voice of hope, or a - they never held hope, your rules. Not for anyone but you. You were dangerous, you are dangerous. You harmed us all without laying a finger, that was the beauty of your plan, right?”

“You never said a word to stop me from this though, did you? In fact, you -”

“I’m not finished, Ethan. You’re not a good person, Ethan, and I will never regret keeping my son from your dangerous, frankly nonsensical shit. That’s being a parent. So tell us who’s inside, who’s helping you and maybe we can figure a way out for you to leave.”

“You and I know they won’t let that happen. Do you remember the plan for then?” He laughs then. “I’m leaving and i’m leaving with my son. He’s the future of the Junction.”

“There is no way in hell that will ever happen.”

“He wants to. I can see it in his eyes.”

“No, Ethan, you know how this is going to end.”

Ethan sighs and nods. You exhale shakily and then look up as you hear the sound of the gun load. “Then I’ll take you with me to the eternal life instead.”

You don’t shut your eyes. You don’t look down. You will not cower for him.

You wanted to live. You’ve had more years than you expected. You wish you had more. It was always going to end this way though.

He will have to look at you. You will not make this easy for him.

“No, Mum -” your son’s voice is enough to make you waver, but perhaps, perhaps everyone else can keep him safe. If Ethan kills you, maybe they’ll protect him. It’s fine.

It’s fitting.

It was always going to be this way.

You wish you were outside though. perhaps by your bench and that quiet sanctuary you found. You want to hear birdsong, feel the sun on your skin one last time. You want to breathe in the fresh air and remember that.

Maybe they can scatter your ashes on the bench.

The bench bought you so much - peace on nightmare ridden nights, Joel, the difference between surviving and living. If it wouldn’t make Ethan happy, you’d tell Gabriel that now, or Sean. It’s too much for Gabriel.

Perhaps Joel knows. You hope he does. You hope he doesn’t.

You’re sorry. So sorry these people you love have to see this, have to mourn you. You should tell Gabriel you love him one more time, but you don’t want to burden him.

There’s a sudden crash, you feel yourself hit the floor and you finally allow yourself to shut your eyes as the gun goes off.

You expect to feel pain, to feel warm or cold, or something. Instead there’s nothing.

There are hands around you, pulling you away, words - Joel? Is she hurt? Did it get her? Words fade in and out. Something’s gone wrong. This doesn’t feel like death.

You open your eyes.

Ethan is on the floor and unconscious. Joel is shaking his fist and Beau squeezes your shoulders before heading over to a shaken looking Sean. Next to him, your son stares at the floor.

“So yeah, we used to be in a cult,” Sean says, running a hand over his hair and shaking his head.

You hear an almost laugh, a polite but awkward acknowledgement, from maybe Tommy or Beau, but you’re still glued to the floor, still reeling from this day.

You feel eyes on you and look up to meet your son’s gaze. Gabriel looks at you as though he has never seen you before, through you in fact, and immediately runs out of the room.

“Wait, Gabriel.” You make a move to go after him, to explain. If you can just talk to him, then maybe it will be enough. You shouldn’t have avoided this, you should have told him this.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve got him,” Sean says, moving quickly.

“Where do we put him?” you ask flatly, staring at the unconscious form in front of you.

“The jail,” Maria says quietly. “The jail, Joel.”

“Guess we’ll finally use it,” Tommy replies.

“He can’t stay,” Joel says. “Tommy, he’ll -”

“I know, brother, I know.” Tommy looks down and then at Maria whose lips are pursed.

“He tried us,” Maria says, “We have to do what we have to do.”

“I’ll handle it,” Joel says calmly, authoritatively. He isn’t looking at you and you feel ashamed of what you have bought into his life. Blood, anger, pain. He’s bought you peace and calm and love and this is how you repay him?

“Me too,” Beau replies calmly, examining his nails in a pseudo casual pose. “It won’t be a problem at all.”

The two of them each grab one of Ethan’s unconscious arms, dragging him outside and towards the bank. Beau nods at you on his exit.

They’ve left you. Sean and Gabriel are outside somewhere, Joel and Beau are gone and while Tommy and Maria are here, they are not your people.

You feel empty and numb. You brace the edge of the table and fight back the racking, great gasps of breath as shock courses through your body. You’ve been fighting tears, fighting back the fear and emotion of the past weeks.

It wasn’t just this moment, it wasn’t just today. It was the anticipation, the fear, the secrets that have lasted seventeen years.

“You need to let Gabriel, Sean and Beau stay,” you say, “I know you won’t want me here and I’ll go. I’ll go, but please let me see them from time to time. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry because I bought them here with my secrets and I’m sorry, Maria, please, please know that -” You cough, a sob Breaking through. “Please don’t make them leave too.”

“We’re not making you leave, we still want you here,” Maria says in a gentle voice. She’s looking at you in the same way as someone would a startled deer, trapped in the headlights. “We need to understand more - if you’re right, if there’s anyone here, what we need to worry about it, what this - this group could do. You can help though. And you’re not leaving. This is your home, you didn’t do anything -”

You feel warm, soft hands around you, hear soothing sounds as you finally allow yourself a moment to feel.

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x female reader #joel miller #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal character #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #your hand in mine fic #fic: your hand in mine

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theworldofotps · 5 months

Text

Lost Bets

Pairing: Hook x Reader Word Count: 2,017 Description: Listening to a few voice notes crushes your world.

Part Two

Listening to divorce dad playlists and that song Hate Me by Ellie Goulding and Juice WRLD created this. I got a majority of the idea from Juice's verse so I hope you all like it! Some angst, @madhatterbri I hope this wrecked you enough (If you've asked to be added to the list and you don't see your name, please let me know because I forget to write them down sometimes.) ________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @melissahausen @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose @99hook @sjwrites22 @sassymox @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @rebellious-desires @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497 @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @auburnwrites @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks @whenimakeitshine1234 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @blaquekitty @ironshamelessyouth @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456 @xbreezymeadowsx @mcreignsera

If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _______ When did it start? You didn’t know.

How long had it been going on?

Not a clue in your mind. But when you finally noticed that things between the two of you were rocky, suddenly you were scared and overthinking everything. What if he decided that he was tired of fighting and asked for a break? After all, it seemed like that was all you two did anymore. Arguing over stupid stuff, big or little, it was nearly every day that one of you were pissed about something. It hadn’t been like this in the beginning of your relationship, or for a while after. There was a love and connection that you’d never experienced with anyone before. Tyler coming home from traveling and shows to spend as much free time with you as humanly possible. All the backstage shenanigans, the late nights sat on the hood of his car snacking and chatting about any and everything you two could think of. You weren’t sure when things took a turn, but you wanted to offer an olive branch and try to fix things.

That’s why you were currently looking around backstage trying to find Tyler, two tickets to a movie he’d been wanting so badly to see for months in hand.

“Y/n what are you doing here?”

Turning at the familiar voice you give a slight wave to Maxwell and clear your throat holding the tickets up.

“I’m looking for Tyler I wanted to take him to a movie and dinner afterwards, have you seen him?”

“He left with Ethan and some of the guys a little while ago I think they were doing another of those vlog hunt things. I’m actually glad that you’re here I’ve been wanting to talk with you about something important but with Tyler around I haven’t had the opportunity.”

You did not like the sound of where this conversation was going but your curiosity got the better of you and you gave a nod of your head. Max motioned with his head for you to follow him, so you silently did fiddling with your fingers as you walked. You were a little confused on what he could want since you got with Tyler you could only recall two or three times you had spoken to the man considering you weren’t a big fan of his character, and he didn’t really care speaking to you anyway. When the two of you finally reached an empty corridor Max turned to you and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

“Look I don’t really know how to say this and I’m not looking to start trouble, but I just figured it was best to tell you anyway. Tyler’s been playing you for a fool.”

“Excuse me?”

“Remember how you two go together?”

“Of course, I do, he came up after I got injured by Ruby and helped me to medical than we just started talking often. Then well the rest is self-explanatory.” “It may seem like that to you, but Tyler only came up to you because of a bet with Ethan Page. The wager basically was if Tyler could talk to one of the female wrestlers that normally they wouldn’t and could get her to fall for him than Ethan and the guys would pay for a couple of pricy items he’s had his eye on for a while.”

You couldn’t breathe, felt like the walls were closing in on you as your ears started ringing. Blinking you open your mouth to speak but stopped.

“I know this is sudden to you, but I figured it was time that you knew about all of this.”

“Why should I believe anything you say? You realize that what you’re saying is the only reason my boyfriend got with me was because of a bet.”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying look I’ve recorded a few conversations between him and the guys here is an important clip you need to listen to. I didn’t manage to get him calling you trash recorded but I go enough.”

Max pressed play on a voice note holding his phone out for you to listen, Tyler’s voice filled your ears as your eyes welled up with tears.

“So how’s everything going since we started this?”

“It’s going fine it’s a piece of cake man I’m telling you this is one of the easiest things I’ve ever done.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to keep it up much longer?”

“Of course, I can it’s no worries she’s completely clueless of everything. She trusts me more than anyone she’s even told me herself.”

“Here’s another one.” Max said as he pressed play on another note.

“It’s simple man you get, break and replace that’s exactly what’s been happening for years now, I don’t know how you’re able to do it.”

“Honestly Ethan it’s not that hard I mean come on it’s me we’re talking about ya know? I don’t even really have to try at this point, it just falls right into place. But I’m ready for this to be over already, I hate this.”

“You really are a coldhearted devil.”

When they started laughing you pushed his phone away from you and turned to look at the floor trying to collect yourself. Your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest as you pushed a shaky hand to wipe the sudden sweat from your forehead.

“Thank you, Maxwell, lets not tell anyone else about this please.”

“If that’s what you want.”

Giving a nod you cleared your throat and turned silently walking away from him you just needed to make it back to your car without breaking down. You couldn’t handle this, couldn’t believe this was happening. After everything you thought you meant to him but that was obviously a mistake on your part. Stumbling out of the building you got in your car and started it, peeling out of the lot. A lump had grown in your throat and no matter how many times you tried to clear it you couldn’t. Thankfully the company was going to be leaving New York tomorrow, so they could get on the road for their next stop. You needed to start looking for a new place to live, needed to gather all of your stuff before Tyler kicked you out.

Parking your car in your parking spot at his apartment complex you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes but managed to get out of the car and hurry inside. Once up in the apartment you just fell apart, sobbing into a couch pillow as you sat down. Part of you was hoping that you’d wake up from this nightmare with Tyler’s arm wrapped around your waist and your head on his chest. But that was quickly being chased away by the weight of reality.

Crying for a while longer you finally managed to get yourself together enough to start packing a suitcase. You wanted to be out of here before it got dark thankfully you had some money in the bank to get you a hotel room for a couple days. As you were pulling shirts off the hanger and shoving them in the suitcase you hear the front door close.

“No no please.”

You weren’t ready to face him, you couldn’t handle seeing his face yet you needed time you were just going to leave a note for him to find.

“Baby you in here?”

His voice called out from what you assumed was the lounge, staying silent you continued packing your suitcase. When he suddenly came into the room you kept your eyes down as he looked at you confused.

“Where are you headed too?”

Finding it difficult to speak, you stuffed some jeans and your laptop into the suitcase, grabbing your hairbrush and deodorant.

“What did I do now that has you pissed off?”

Stopping you stared at him, Tyler was startled to see your glassy red eyes and the tears falling down your cheeks.

“Baby what happened are you-.”

“Don’t come near me.”

You were trying to be strong but the crack in your voice betrayed the pain you were feeling as his eyes widened.

“What?”

“I know everything so I’m leaving.”

“Leaving? What the hell are you talking about?” “You know damn well what I’m talking about, the fact that you’re only dating me for a bet you made with fucking Ethan. I want to hear it from your own mouth, tell me you hate me. Tell me you think I’m trash and how replaceable I am.”

Tyler froze staring at you, with a shake of your head and giving a humorless laugh you shove more stuff in your suitcase.

“So, you don’t deny it, I can’t believe you Tyler what the fuck?! You played me like a toy, used me to get something that you could have saved up for. After everything I thought I actually meant something to you, I thought you loved me but this was just a game.”

“Who told you?”

“It’s not important who told me, it’s just important that I know and that you understand it’s not going to continue. I’m done, I want you to lose my number, don’t try and contact me. I don’t know why I’m even saying this it’s not like you care.”

Zipping the case shut you pick it up and shove your way past him setting your case on the floor and grabbing a few of the important things you had brought over.

“Y/n please lets talk about this.”

“Why so you can go into detail about how you were fucking with me, I gave you everything I had in this relationship. I love you and you were just toying with my heart I can’t believe you’d do this.”

“Wait please y/n.”

Grabbing your arm Tyler kept you from pulling away, it hurt your heart being so close to him when all you wanted was him to wrap his arms around you in a hug.

“Okay it’s true that I started talking to you as a bet, but I never intend for our relationship to go past being friends. And when it did, I wasn’t sure how to go about telling you, honestly, I didn’t think you’d ever find out about it so after a while I just stopped worrying. But I don’t think you’re trash, and I do have feelings for you.”

“You’re unbelievable. Don’t lie to me, I heard conversations between you and Ethan about how you weren’t sure how much longer you wanted to do this. And Ethan saying how you get, break and easily replace. I’m a human with emotions and feelings, not some little plaything that you can use until you’re bored. I don’t want to continue this conversation.”

“But y/n you need to listen to me about this please.”

Tyler wasn’t one to beg but at this point he’d beg for as long as he needed to, he wasn’t expecting this to be what he walked in on. And the fact you were packing a suitcase was making his chest hurt, he didn’t want you to leave. He needed to find out who told you this shit so he could kill them.

“Baby please reconsider I want to talk about all of this, I know I should have before but I’m sorry for not doing so.”

It broke his heart watching your eyes fill with tears as your bottom lip wobbled slightly you searched his face for a moment seemingly losing the fight in you.

“I can’t not right now, maybe not ever. Goodbye Tyler.”

Pulling your arm away from him you left the apartment, closing the door behind you and going down to your car. Tyler felt numb as he stood there staring at the door willing, hoping you’d change your mind and come back up. When he felt his phone buzz, he grabbed it quickly thinking maybe you had decided to text him. What he saw made him want to throw up all over the floor.

MJF: Checkmate asshole enjoy being single

#hook fanfiction #aew hook #hook x reader #tyler senerchia #hook aew

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