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samkerrworshipper · 1 month

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leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader, arsenal x reader

part 1 of beautiful girl series-> pt.2 -> pt.3

warnings: drug abuse, drug addiction, mentions of sexual assault, sexual assault, jordan and leah r broken up, basically a trauma dump, unedited, if you are not in an okay headspace this fic is not for u, based on beautiful boy

You find it hard to remember the last time you felt loved.

Not the kind of love that people tell you everyday, no, real unconditional, meaningful, purposeful love. The kind of love where a person looks at you like you single handedly hung the stars and the moon, the kind of love where it feels like nobody could love you in the same way, the same love that shakespeare wrote poems about, the same love that you know that you could never be capable of receiving.

You don’t really blame anybody but yourself, how could people love you, how could people want to love you? You weren’t a loveable person, in your opinion you were quite frankly the exact opposite.

Maybe when you were eight, when you were cute and loveable, when you had cute little piggy tails and wore pink overalls and only wanted to dance and talk about unicorns.

Maybe when you were ten and you spent every afternoon practising football in the backyard with your moms.

Maybe when you were twelve and your only aspirations for life were to win your school spelling bee and captain england just like your mom.

From then on, it all seemed like one big blur.

From 12 onwards you don’t think a lot of you was lovable, hell you hardly thought eight year old you was lovable, a tiny little orphan who had seen so much of the world and yet none of it, yet your moms had spent every single day trying to make you feel like you were and it had worked. For possibly the first time in your life, you’d felt that love, like a whole galaxy revolved around you, like no matter what happened in your life, you could face it.

It was funny how fast that feeling could fade.

It wasn’t really that surprising that you’d seeked out something to fill the hole inside of you, or at least that’s how you saw it.

It started at 14, when you were so consumed with all of the pain around you, the shit storm of broken relationships and the broken home that now replicated the same one you’d come from. Babies learnt to self soothe by being left to cry, teenagers learnt to self soothe through pain.

First it was spending as much time as possible out on the pitch with your moms, every single one of your afternoons spent practising, and any minute you weren’t on the pitch it was non stop studying.

You formed a anger for it, a pure hatred for the sport that your moms were so fond of, a sport that had brought them together and inevitably forced them apart.

At 15 you left football behind, you focused on your school, spending every spare minute on your studies, they headaches and migraines, the stress, the anxiety, it was all good, it proved that you were trying, it filled the hole inside of you.

When you were 15, you stopped caring. Your mama stopped caring, she moved 3 hours away for her own career, she didn’t have time to care about your school work, as for your mom, it wasn’t an easy job captaining the lionesses to a european championship, she had bigger problems then you.

When you turned 16, everything changed. Your mom tore her acl, Lia moved in, there wasn’t any room for you, let alone room for you to be loved. Your mama stopped visiting as often, only when it was necessary, for the first time in a while, you felt alone, truly alone.

When you turned 17, you found other ways to self soothe. Babies cried for attention, out of hope that they’d find some of that love that they were missing when they were alone. Babies cried because they had no other way of conveying the loneliness and desperate need they had for whatever they were seeking. Teenagers do stupid things in search of the same thing, love, attention and in search of something. Teenagers are stupid by default, you weren’t unbeknownst to that, the eight year old version of you though would have swore six ways to sunday that you’d never behave in the way you were, out of fear that you’d end up back where you’d come from, that you’d lose the only family that had ever showed you a glimpse of love, teenage you figured there wasn’t any more love for you, it had all been swallowed up by younger you, taken before you could really understand the magnitude of that love, before you needed it the very most.

Maybe it was the pot speaking, or the nicotine from your vape, or it was just the overwhelming cloud that always seemed to hit when you were high. It would fade eventually, it always did, all the deep emotional shit that made you want to cry would go, and you’d be left mellowed out, all of your feeling sucked out like a deep exhale, sometimes it just happened to be that you had to feel it all before you felt nothing, before the overwhelming numbness hit you and the hole in your heart was filled once again.

You flinched at the knock on your bedroom door, you were grateful enough for the warning, it had taken a lot of convincing to your mom and her best friend before they’d finally agreed to it.

You didn’t bother trying to hide your vape, the joint you had been smoking had been put out a couple of minutes ago.

“Come in.”

You stayed sat on the ledge of your window, your head hanging halfway out, the cool london winter breeze making your lips numb and your face pink.

The door opened slowly and you kept your eyes on the outside street, watching the cars drive past underneath you.

“Hey, dinners ready if you want to come down.”

You nodded absentmindedly, avoiding Lia’s eyeline.

“It’s freezing, close your window.”

You looked over at the swiss woman, a woman who was now so familiar in your home that you saw her more than the woman you called your mama.

“I’m good.”

You took a deep breath, one last inhale of the chilly air before turning to face Lia and uncurling your body, standing up and walking towards the door where she was standing.

“If you want to live in Antarctica then that’s your call.”

You try your best to suppress the eye roll, instead opting to pull your vape from your pocket and take a deep inhale, it’s not as good as the cold air but it’s something. It also helps to cover the weed scent that you’re trying to cover up.

Lia walks behind you, shaking her head at the puff of vapour that hits her right in the face as you make your way down the stairs and into the living room and then into the dining room.

Your mom is sitting at the table, fiddling with the cutlery and looking down at the meal that you know she most definitely did not cook.

It was one of the only bonuses of having Lia around, when jordan left the healthy and yummy food had turned into mostly take away and food that wasn’t cooked on a stove top because Leah had learnt her lesson after the multiple calls to the fire department.

You sat down in your normal chair, taking another hit of the vape in your hand before setting it down on the table and replacing it with a fork.

“I thought we’d talked about no vapes at the dinner table, bubba.”

You focused down at the bowl of spaghetti that was in front of you, it was the night before a game, which meant carb loading, you’d never been fond of pasta, although you supposed that had slipped Leah’s mind in the last couple of months.

“I’m not using it at the table, am I?”

You could feel the look of disapproval from your mother from the other side of the table.

You pushed your fork into the pasta, searching for a meatball instead of the pasta that you were desperate to avoid.

“Bubba I think you can put it away for half an hour every night, please.”

You pull your spare hand out of your hoodie, grabbing at the vape and slipping it into the pocket.

You focus on stabbing the meatball that your focus has locked onto, keeping your eyes downcast and focused on locating all of the saucy balls and shoving them into your mouth as quickly as possible.

Just as you’ve located and eaten all of the orbs that you can guarantee Lia made all by herself, your mom directs conversation at you once again, pivoting from whatever she was talking to Lia about,

“We’re playing in Manchester tomorrow night, you’re welcome to come with us on the bus if you want, or you could go with mumma, I think she’s planning to drive up to watch the girls. The girls haven’t seen you in a while though, Lotte has been missing you, she’s been asking me about you.”

You’d distanced yourself from your moms club teammates for a multitude of reasons, but it all stemmed down to the hatred that you had for arsenal, the love that your mom had for the club, the club that took all of her time, her teammates that saw more love then you felt you did.

“I think I'll just stay home for the weekend, mama is going to be in town anyways. Plus Maya and I were planning to do something tomorrow night.”

She was going to be in town, it didn’t mean you had plans to see her.

“Maya? Do I know a Maya?”

You tried your best not to be annoyed at your moms sudden concern about your social life.

“She’s just a friend.”

You could practically feel the eyebrow raise from the other side of the table.

“What were you and Maya planning on doing tomorrow night?”

You looked up for the first time, gritting your teeth.

“I don’t know, hang out, have some fun, nothing special. I want to see mama and I want to hang out with friends, is that not enough for me to stay home for the weekend,? It'll only be a night.”

You watched your mom collapse in, her eyes straying to the side to look at Lia.

“So it’s friends now, plural? I talked to Jord yesterday, she didn’t say that you had anything planned with her for this weekend.”

You wanted to bolt upstairs back to your room, light a joint and stick your head back out of your window and enjoy the serenity that came from it, but you held strong.

“Yes, friends, I have more than one, we’ll probably just hangout at someones house, no biggie. I haven’t talked to mama yet because I didn’t know what I was doing this weekend.”

Your moms eyebrow only raised further up her forehead, the line of hair practically melting into her hairline.

“I was a teenager once, you think I don’t know what a hangout turns into?”

You were about to rebut, answer with some snappy answer that probably would have gotten you in more trouble than you would have wanted, but you were silenced by the swiss woman sitting to your left.

“She’ll be fine Le, she’s smart, she’ll leave her location on, she won’t do anything you wouldn’t. Right?”

You nodded cautiously, a little bit shocked by the swiss woman’s attempt to help you out.

“Yes, I’ll leave my location on and I’ll meet up with mama the next morning, I’ll be responsible, I always am.”

You were grasping for anything, any reason to make your mother agree.

“Fine, but you do anything stupid, and I mean anything, then you’ll be in big trouble missy, and I want you to eat some more of that dinner, Lia puts a lot of work into feeding us.”

You swallowed the argument about your hatred for pasta, in favour of nodding your head meekly and twirling some of the noddles with your fork, forcing them into your mouth even if it made you cringe internally, it was a hard meal to swallow, but you did it for the sake of making your mother happy, something that you seemed to constantly be doing.

Once you’d eaten half of the pasta you called it quits, walking up towards the kitchen sink and cleaning out your bowl before placing it into the dishwasher and sacking it properly before closing it up.

You grasped for the vape hidden in your pocket, depserate for something to take the edge off from the conversation you’d had, the flavoured air providing a temporary comfort.

You dragged your feet back up the stairs to your bedroom, locking the door behind you and turning off the lights in your room.

Your room was cold, but you didn’t find yourself minding it.

You checked your lock for a second time, making sure it was definitely clicked shut before sliding underneath your bed frame and reaching around aimlessly for the container that was wedged into a corner of your mattress.

It didn’t take long for you to find it, your hand connecting with the rough plastic and pulled at it almost immediately.

You opened the container, forcing the lid open and picking out the bag that you were searching for.

Walking across the room in search of a card and flat surface was a mission that didn’t take long, both necessary factors found at your desk.

You opened up the bag, the answer to all of your feeling and struggles.

You shook a bit of the powder out of the bag, it was a routine that you’d adapted.

You’d always had routines, at eight it had been your nighttime routine. Bath, pyjamas, toilet, bed time story, cuddles, trying to get to sleep in your own bed, inevitably sneaking into your moms bed. At 12 it had been your pre match routine, wearing your moms first arsenal jersey to bed the night beforehand, a banana and bottle of water before the game, socks, shinpads, boots and a bottle of lucozade. At 14 it was your pre test routine, cue cards with one of your parents the night beforehand, a 12 hour sleep, a good luck hug from one of your moms and using your lucky pen. At 17 it was the little kit you kept underneath your bed, open it, find the baggy, spill enough of it onto your desk, push it into a line, take a deep breath through your nose.

It was a routine that kept you going, one that you clung to like the oxygen you breathed in.

When your mom tore her acl, your life changed permanently, no longer was any focus on you, it shouldn’t have really been a surprise that you’d fallen into a rougher crowd, that you’d turned to something else to help soothe the pain that had been coursing through your blood stream as everything changed around you.

It had started with pocketing a couple of your moms post surgery meds, oxy’s, they felt good, they felt so much better than anything else you’d tried to help fix you. But they were in limited amounts and it was hard to steal pills when Lia was monitoring everything that your mom did and took. You’d made friends with the girls in the form above you, and then their friends who were older, and eventually you’d found yourself out at parties on nights when you told your mom that you were spending the night with your mama in Birmingham, it had been eays enough, she was too focused on her knee to pay much mind to what you were doing and who you were doing it with.

There was enough money lying around the house, it wasn’t hard to find and subsequently it wasn’t hard to find somebody who was willing to give you more than you could find at the parties you where going to.

It had felt good, like for the first time in a while you had people who you could relate to, who were dealing with the same problems as you, you felt like you’d found a somewhere that felt more like a home than anywhere you’d been before.

The vapes had been a way to disguise it, to make your mom feel like she could control the bad things that you were getting up to, if she monitored your vape usage then why would you search for anything else?

Self-soothing.

You finished your routine by pushing the baggy back into its box and securing the box back into the spot it had come from, making sure that it was hidden from sight, before climbing into your bed and waiting for the proper high to hit you.

Weed and nicotine were good, it had been where you started out, but nothing hit better than a real high, a real proper feeling that made you feel inundated with complete numbness in the best way possible. It made everything quiet, every doubt and pain in your soul quietened down and it made you feel at peace.

You supposed it was what made drugs so addictive, specifically meth. They made a person in pain feel normal, it made an angry person feel calm, it made a sad person happier than ever, it made a person searching for everything yearn for nothing. It fixed every problem known to man and every problem man knew.

When the high hit you felt it across your whole body, your thoughts, pain and the loudness inside of you faded, everything faded, all you felt like was a body, devoid of everything besides the body you were inside of. To you, it was the best feeling in the world, it was a feeling you’d been searching for since you were a kid, when you’d felt so alone and unloved that you would have sold all of your internal organs if it meant that you could have felt the same amount of nothingness that you were in this very moment.

You would lie awake for hours riding it out, staring up at the ceiling of your room, studying the different ridges and bumps across the white plaster. Once upon a time it had been blue, with white clouds all over it, little stars and rainbows across it, when Jordan had moved out you’d forced your mom to cover it up, it was just another reminder of the love that you’d once found in your house miraculously fading away.

It normally took a few hours for the initial high to fade, for the endorphins and adrenaline pinging around in your bloodstream to calm down for you to be able to drift off to sleep, you didn’t really mind, you were used to it. Once upon a time it was the same feeling you’d gotten when your moms would smile at you, or when you would step off a football pitch after 90 minutes, or when you’d get a good score from one of your exams. Once upon a time it had all been organic, it had been natural, now it was all forced, a chemical reaction that your brain craved.

Somewhere around 4am you drifted off, it was convenient because it meant you’d be dead asleep when your mom and Lia left for the training ground, saving you from the interaction with the two of them.

You awoke around 12 o’clock, you dragged yourself downstairs and into the kitchen, enjoying the emptiness that surrounded you. At your mama's house there was Blu, and for some reason it always felt more crammed. At your mom’s house everything was open, quiet, tucked away. It was the way you liked it, plus she was gone more often with media commitments and Arsenal playing in the Champions League, so it meant you were home alone most of the time.

You chugged your coffee like it was your first drink in days, groaning when your mom’s contact started buzzing up in front of you.

“Mom?”

You tried your best to sound awake, you don’t think your efforts were very successful.

“Hey bubba, how’d you sleep?”

You didn’t really think your mom actually cared about how you’d slept, more like it was a conversation buffer.

“Fine.”

You could hear the sound of your mom’s teammates in the background, a couple of months ago you probably would have been there with her, nowadays there was nothing you wanted less.

“Good. Look, I talked to Jord this morning, she’s going to come and hang out with you tomorrow until we get back, she should be around in the morning.”

The same anxiety that always seeped through your mom’s voice when she talked about her ex was easy to detect, like she was nervous to utter her name or mention her.

“Cool.”

You wondered why she hadn’t just left it up to you to organise something with your mama, but you supposed you hadn’t been great at that recently. Jordan’s number was something you had a aversion to.

“Which means I want you home before 1am, and I want you to be sensible tonight, your mama is very excited to see you tomorrow and I don’t want you being a dickhead or being dead to the world, You’ll be polite and spend time with her, understood?”

She made it sound like an assignment, like you had to be on your very best behaviour, like you had to put on a show for Jordan.

“Whatever.”

You heard a huff of annoyance from the other side of the phone, it was a sound you’d gotten used to, Leah used it frequently.

“Don’t whatever me, bubba please, Jords is really looking forward to it, she’s been feeling a bit left out by you recently so please for me, just try your hardest to be good for her. Be safe tonight, I know you and your friends like to have some fun but just stay safe, if you need anything don’t hesitate to send me a text or a call, I love you bubba.”

It felt empty, like your heart, like everything around you, like something she had to say.

“I love you too mom.”

The call fizzled out and you let a deep breath that you’d been holding in go, you did love your mom, it just didn’t feel like she loved you anymore.

You went about your day in a haze, your friends were due to come to yours before the party around 5 o’clock, so you had some time to yourself before then, time you were undoubtedly planning to do not a lot with. You tried watching tv, tried organising and cleaning your room, none of it took off the edge, none of it made the world silent like you needed.

It had all started with parties, a way for you to get out of your comfort zone, a way to make parties a little bit more enjoyable. Now you craved them to make your life more enjoyable, to make it all a little bit more bearable.

It was all one big routine.

For a while you throught it was getting better, everything was solving itself. You’d lie awake in your bed at 3am, riding out the last bits of your high and you’d realise that it wasn’t, that there was no solution to solve what had gone wrong with you and made you so fucking unlovebale.

You knew your existence wasn’t eays, hell Jordan and Leah had adopted you when you were at rock bottom, and they’d still found a way to love you, to make you loveable, but you figured somewhere along the way they’d run out of things about you that were loveable.

You weren’t normally someone who got high during the day, but you were home alone and figured why not, you’d been taking them at night for months now, what would a day time fix change? Everything felt better when you were riding on a high.

You spent the rest of your afternoon sat on your window sill, counting the cars as they drove past. When your friends came around at 5 o’clock you were ecstatic, hurrying down the stairs as fast as your woozy body would allow you.

You had friends that your moms met and friends your moms didn’t, these were the ones you were yet to introduce to Leah.

You didn’t think that she would approve of the friends that you hung out with when she wasn’t around, especially considering they were quite a bit older than you.

There were benefits to it, they bought you alcohol they could drive you around, they were smarter then the kids your age.

Maya, Olivia and Scarlett were nice enough, a little bit stupid but it didn’t bother you too much, you were all like minded, you liked to have fun and party, with the assistance of some recreational substances.

None of them batted an eye at your clear intoxication, pushing a bottle of something or another into your hands before walking with you up to your room to start getting ready.

The drink burned as it made it’s way down your throat, it was therapeutic, a reminder that while you felt disconnected from your body because of the drugs, you were still present.

You let one of the girls do your makeup, packing your face until you looked well over the age of 17, then allowing one of them to sort through your monstrosity of a closet until they found a cute corset top and skirt. Leah Williamson was a lot of things, a fashionista being one of them and that had always carried through to your wardrobe. You were more than equipped with clothing for every occasion known to man.

By the time you’d downed your first drink of the night the euphoria was starting to hit and you were starting to feel good.

By the time your second drink had been downed you were being thrown into a car and were on your way to the party, sharing a joint with Liv who was sat in the back seat with you, the two of you occasionally shotgunning the smoke or blowing a puff at eachother.

It was good, it was relaxing, it was what made you feel at peace.

Pulling up to the party was a whole different kind of feeling.

You didn’t know who’s party you were at, who’s house, where it was, it didn’t matter to you, not really, all you cared about was having a good time by your standards.

You flicked your phone onto silent, desperate to avoid any contact from anyone, instead focused on the spectacle around you as you stepped into the threshold.

Maya introduced you to someone she went to school with, a man that looked like he was nearly as far gone as you felt. You smiled at him, giving him a hug and nod, trying to rush the introduction so you could get a drink in your hand and take a seat.

“You’re quite cute aren’t ya, how old are you sweetheart?”

You looked across at your friend, curious as to whether you should lie or not, she nodded her head and you took it as approval.

“17.”

His smile only grew, his head cocking to the side.

“A youngin? I’m sure we’ll have some fun tonight, the young ones always know how to go harder, whaddya like, sweetheart?”

You tried your best not to appear uncomfortable, even if his attention was putting you off a little bit.

“She’ll take whatever, although she has been having some fun with ice recently, she likes her vape and some molly sprinkled in with it.”

Matt slapped you on the back, his smile only growing.

“Definitely a fun time then, I’ll catch up with you later sweetheart, I reckon I have something you might like, head on in guys, I’ll catch you later.”

It wasn’t a big house, it wasn’t small either though, it was full enough that it probably seemed smaller than it truly was.

There were people everywhere, which surprised you considering it was only early, not that you minded, it was more convenient anyways.

You were dragged to a couch with your friends, they were less far gone than you and almost immediately were sniffing up lines of whatever was on the coffee table in front of you.

There was so much happening around you that you struggled to understand it all fully, there were puffs of smoke coming from every direction, needles being handed around, different pills being popped, lines being sniffed. It was the kind of environment you liked to think you’d come to flourish in, it made you feel more relaxed then anywhere else on the planet.

You relaxed into the couch, enjoying the spectacle around you and subconsciously taking hits of your vape as you watched the splendour occur around you.

There wasn’t a single legal thing about it, but you didn’t care, there was a cold drink in your hand and the scent of pot and vapour surrounding you, it was the best place to be on the planet.

The night slowly started to fade into a blip as you made your way through more drinks, your body surrendering to the feeling of the alcohol coursing through you and the high slowly starting to fade. You were cautious of the fact that you needed to be home at a certain time, you didn’t want to push your mom’s wishes, you were also aware that you could manage another shoot up before getting yourself home.

“Oi, where can I find some meth.”

Maya had headed somewhere with some boy she knew from highschool and Olivia had left in search of a spot to smoke, leaving you and Scarlett.

“Go find Matt, he’ll hook you up.”

With legs like jelly and a swaying head you stood up from the couch, your vape clutched in one hand and empty bottle in the other. It didn’t take a lot of searching to find the man you’d been introduced to earlier, he was sat on a couch, a girl on either side of him, who both looked about as far gone as they could get without being passed out.

“Pretty girl, what can I do for you.”

You didn’t like the way the term of endearment slid off of his tongue so easily, in almost a condescending way.

“Do you have meth?”

You didn’t care if you were being too straight forward, you were itching for something to get you back 0onto the high that you’d been riding out for the past couple of hours.

“I do, but it’ll cost ya.”

You rolled your eyes, money was hardly a problem for you.

“I’ve got money.”

His head cocked the same way it had earlier.

“I don’t want your money sweetheart, c’mon, I’ll get you some meth.”

The same slippery term of endearment that made your throat hurt. He shook the two girls off of him, standing up with a lot more composure than you and beginning to walk out of the lounge room you were in and towards the staircase. You followed him up, holding onto the banister with everything you had and trying to keep up with him as the both of you arrived at the top and he began walking down a corridor, until he made it to the end and opened up a door.

You assumed it was his bedroom by the looks of it, which made you uncomfortable slightly but you accepted the fact you were craving a fix and he was potentially the only person who could supply it in this moment.

He rummaged through a bedside draw, until he pulled out a syringe and a bottle of what you assumed to be dissolved crystal meth. You’d always kept your distance from needles, it gave you a better high but it was harder to hide and harder to deal with, the powdered form was the least complicated.

You could feel your heartbeat pick up as he beckoned you over, patting for you to sit down on the edge of the bed. You walked over, taking a seat on the bed and watching with curiosity as he prepared the needle, and took your arm in his, securing a rubber tourniquet around your bicep and feeling your skin for a vein. Once he found it he picked the needle up, filling it with a couple of mls of the liquid before bringing it up to your arm, gently inserting it into the vein, sucking in a bit of your blod and watching the red swirl with the drug mix before pushing down on the syringe and inserting it into your blood stream.

It was immediate validation, your head dropping back with ecstasy as the drugs infiltrated your body.

“Feels good doesn’t it, sweetheart.”

You nodded your head, enjoying the sensation of the lingering sting as the needle was pulled from your arm and the tourniquet was untied.

His hands were on your chin, tilting your head up so you were looking at him.

“Now, I think it’s time I get my payment, hmm?”

You took one last breath, enjoying the validation of your high.

“I told you I have money.”

He shook his head and with the smirk on the corner of his lips you couldn’t help but feel slightly worried.

“No, I prefer my payment other ways.”

Even with the alcohol and drugs running through your veins, you couldn’t help but feel sick to your stomach immediately.

You were suddenly frighteningly aware of your position, and undeniably feeling a little bit scared.

“What way?”

You didn’t like how your voice wavered, your age becoming more obvious as you struggled to stomach the different thoughts going through your head.

“I’ll show you.”

His hands moved to your hair, dragging you off the corner of the mattress and onto your knees below him.

You tried to dissasociate it, tried to dissasociate as his hands fell to his belt buckle and fly, tried to disassociate so you didn’t have to think about the million no’s that were banging against your skull and leaving your lips as his fly came undone and he let his pants drop to his feet.

You’d never really expressed your sexuality, you hadn’;t felt the need t, both of your moms were gay, so were most of their friends, you knew no matter who you were dating they’d be happy for you, you knew that whatever this was though you didn’t want it.

With your weary head and drugged up body there wasn’t much fight you could put up as he opened your jaw for you and forced his way inside of you

You tried your hardest to dissasociate like you’d taught yourself, thinking about the high, thinking about the drugs, thinking about your moms, thinking about everything in your life that had once loved you and you’d once loved the same. Normally it worked, normally you trustd yourself to get you to that safe space that made you feel like no matter what was happening you could deal with it, you just couldn’t get it to work though, there were tears streaming down your face as his hands stayed planted in the roots of your hair, the hair a couple of hours ago that your friends had been curling and working on whilst you’d all be laughing.

He didn’t last long, that was something you were grateful for.

As soon as his hands left your hair you were bolting up from the floor, walking as past as your weary legs would let you before anything else happened that you couldn’t stop.

You catapulted your way down the same stairs you’d marched up happily, not paying any attention to the people in the background as you pushed your way out of the front door, breathing in the freezing london air and clinging to the freshness of it and how it cooled the pain in your throat.

You didn’t hesitate calling the uber, the tears on your face spraying down onto your phone screen as you tried your hardest to focus on the task at hand which was getting home and getting as far away from this as possible.

You didn’t care that your mom could track your uber account, you didn’t care that there were thirty unread texts from both of your moms and a couple of phone calls, all you cared about was getting home to your bed and doing whatever it took to forget about what just happened.

The uber was quick enough, you practically threw yourself into the back seat, trying to calm yourself down, but failing miserably.

If your uber driver noticed then he didn’t comment on the fact that you were practically hyperventilating in his backseat.

The car ride home was quicker then you thought it would be, you were so grateful it was an away game night, that you didn’t have to deal with anyone, but you were also secretly crumbling about the fact that you were all alone, that you had been all alone in that room with him, that you had no one to stop him and couldn’t do anything about it.

You were hardly steady on your legs as you unlocked the door with your keys and swayed your way into the living room and then towards the stairs, finding the incline slightly jarring but desperate to get to your room and bed so you could sleep of the horrendous feeling in your gut. High be damned, alcohol be damned, all you wanted was to be asleep, so you partially forget about all of this and hopefully it would fall victim to all of the endorphins in your head and be permanently removed from your brain.

Your room was cold, your window still open, you didn’t care.

All you cared was getting out of the too tight clothes you were in and getting into your bed.

You pulled at the corset, unbothered when you heard the seam ripping as you tugged at it, your skirt was easier. You flung a hoodie and pair of pyjama pants onto your body before climbing straight under your covers, your body shaking. You weren’t sure whether it was because of the high or because of the incessant hatred that had grown in your chest at the memory replaying over and over in your mind.

You clutched onto your vape, holding it in your hand and sucking up hit after hit as you tried to find solace in the flavoured air, hoping it would send you off to sleep.

You woke up with a headache like no other, your whole body hurt, and to the sound of repetitive banging at the front door downstairs.

You groaned out, annoyed at every single part of you for what had happened last night.

Your legs were still wobbly as you clawed your way out of your bed, your legs protesting with every single step you took, out of your room, down the stairs, to the peephole at your door.

Jordan, fuck.

You supposed in your haze it hadn’t been hard to forget about your mother’s appearance for today, you’d been trying desperately to forget so many other things that it must have slipped your mind.

You didn’t want to open the door, but you also knew you had to, so with every last piece of strength that you had in your body, you pulled the door open.

#woso #woso community #sammykworshipper thoughts #leah williamson #arsenal wfc #leah williamson x reader #jordan nobbs #jordan nobbs x reader #trauma #pain #sammykworshipperfics #wobbs breakup #drug addiction #im sad so are u #im not the only one crying #sue me for hurting ur feelings #sick and twisted

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satoruhour · 10 months

Note

hello!! ive been lurking on your acc for a little bit and i absolutely adore your writing like omg!! but earlier i got to thinkin about toji (as we all do) and i was thinking about how vulgar i imagine him to be in a sexual context and it makes me like soo shy and im not shy 🙄 im just obsessed with the idea of him saying really filthy shit to us and then practicing what he preaches yk

PRACTISE WHAT YOU PREACH

a/n: i keep falling asleep on the couch writing. and thank u for the inspiration for the name LOL

wc: 2.4k

warnings: reader has the same bite to her as toji does but gets shy when said man says filthy things, dom!toji, implication of sex in parts of the drabble, (public) dirty talk, pet names, he calls you ‘whore’ and ‘slut‘, toji calls you ‘mama’ once, oral (m receiving), deepthroating, spitting (on hand and in mouth), p -> v penetration, clit stimulation, unprotected sex, riidng, praise, degradation, daddy kink at the end, creampie / breeding kink, brief oral / cunnilingus @ the end, n*sfw under the cut

fushiguro toji is a vulgar man inside and out. It’s obvious when he tells the teenage boys to go fuck themselves when he catches them looking at you and you have to slap his bicep, or perhaps grabbing a piece of your ass while waiting in line to pay for groceries and all you can do is send him a nasty glare and a strong nudge of your elbow.

he doesn’t mind his baby fighting back, especially with how easily he can overturn the tables and have you squirming and breathing heavily whenever he gets you under him in the bedroom.

it comes to light first when you’re talking with a co-worker at a company party, talking casually with them before toji comes over with both your drinks. he’s tamer, then, sucking up to your insufferable colleagues even if they didn’t know what they were saying. this dude was clearly eyeing you, too, despite knowing toji was your plus one, and at that point the poor man has had enough.

“how ’bout you invite him back to our hotel and let him watch as i fuck you? maybe then he would stop fucking starin’.” toji passes you your drink as he whispers it, albeit the last part filled with mild bitterness, not entirely as secretive as he would like to be because the colleague’s eyes are widening immediately. he swallows his saliva at the large stature of your boyfriend’s and you just know he did it on purpose. but when you don’t reply and bark back at him with annoyance, toji’s lips curl in a smile, a light bulb going off in his head at his discovery and he’s been incessant since.

“yeah? how ’bout you clean a bathroom for once, fucker,” you roll your eyes, throwing a rag into the bathroom sink, disgruntled at how your boyfriend couldn’t even clean his own sink. it was beyond him to clean the place where water flowed everyday but when he told you that all you could muster was a look of disgust.

you were in no mood for him when you saw him creep in behind you in the mirror, eyes trained on the male who just mutters apologies into your neck, kissing the skin there like a tease and resist the urge to shiver, keeping up your angered expression.

until his words hit. “’m sorry baby, shoulda known better than to say stupid shit like that. how ’bout i make it up to you?”

“like what, toji? you gonna get on your hands and knees and scrub the floors yourself? cause i’d like th—”

“i’ll do it,” but not for the reason you think, “i’ll do it if i get to eat my pretty girl’s pussy out. and then let me pound her while she watches how good i make her feel.”

needless to say, your panties were thrown in the washing machine immediately as he made your moans echo in that squeezy bathroom, and the sink ended up being squeaky clean for the next few weeks.

it’s the best way to get you to shut up and sometimes the way your lips move as you’re rambling about something or how your figure looks as you’re reaching for the tv remote and spouting profanities is just so hypnotising. he’s obsessed with you.

toji stares blankly at you while you’re explaining the way to work the air fryer for the third time that day, and it’s not his fault you’re currently in a camisole. it’s accentuating your tits and the home shorts you’re in isn’t helping either, because he can easily swipe it to the side to fuck into you.

you snap your fingers in front of his face, “wha—? listen to me when i’m talking to you, babe.”

toji just rolls his eyes, something he knows you hate, and he watches your outburst with a lovestruck smile. he catches your snapping hand with ease, switching to holding it. “hey! what did i say about rolling eyes?”

he leans forward, placing his other hand dangerously close to your ass, but the forehead peck distracts you. “i heard you the first time, darling.”

“you—!” toji just laughs at your surprise. sure, he was old as fuck but he wasn’t entirely clueless about the air fryer, but he let you explain and drone on about the settings, knowing you’d be focused on the device. that way, his eyes could travel unforgivingly and just like that, the playful moment is overcome by his vulgar disposition again, the act of his body craving yours before his words made you freeze on the spot.

“but enough about air fryers, hm?” the sight of toji’s hand almost covering yours was enough to send you reeling, but it’s increased when he drags your hand down the hardness of his front. you can feel the ridges of his abs, down, down, down until his bulge. he guides you to squeeze his dick, a guttural groan making its way to the front of his throat. “how ’bout you show me how much your eyes can roll back as my cock disappears into you, huh?”

your breath hitches at the proposition and toji’s smile spreads into a grin at your reaction because it’s like this every. single. time. unconsciously your hands start to undo the knot of his sweatpants, pulling it under his hardened shaft, the other sighing when your hand finally wraps around it. it aches so much that he finds himself thrusting into your hand briefly before you start stroking.

toji gathers a blob of spit on his tongue and maintains eye contact, spitting directly onto his cock for some lubrication and you take a deep breath, slick noises sounding out throughout the house. he makes sure to do it again later. “getting it ready for your pretty little cunt, aren’t you? filthy girl— f-fuck…”

the words make you rub your thighs together, stepping closer to him while you continue stroking, up, down and up, down, determined to give him a taste of his own medicine. pushing him until you’re out of the kitchen, he lets you shove him onto the couch, a loud groan leaving his lips when you descend to your knees and your mouth closes around his cock.

“s’big,” you whimper, swirling your tongue around his angry tip and going back to deepthroating him, desperate to feel his dick down your throat.

“oh— s-shit, baby,” toji pulls back the hair from your head, seeing your eyes barely being able to focus as it hits the back of your throat, “that’s it… suck it like the dirty whore you are.”

the degradation is reason enough for you to bob your head quickly, moaning around his length as your mouth drips drool mixed with the pre-cum from his tip. toji chokes out your name, hips bucking into your warm mouth while your hands find purchase on his thick thighs, taking him down your throat until your nose meets his pelvis. soon he‘s cumming down your throat with grunts, feeling the hot semen rush into your cavern.

“stay there, good fuckin’ girl,” the other groans out when your eyes shift to him, swallowing bits of his cum with a small stream of tears filling your lash line that threaten to fall. he notices your hand sneaking into your panties and he smirks, bringing you off his cock to catch your breath. you sputter and gasp, hand still lightly wrapped around him. he’s still hard after cumming, but he’s also more sensitive.

“can i ride you now?” you ask like it’s any other question, shimmying out of your underwear before wasting no time to straddle him. his tip pokes your pussy and you grab him, dragging him up and down your folds to collect your slick. before long, you’re grinding on the bottom of his shaft, your labia spread along his dick and toji is charmed by how you move on him with needy moans and two hands on his torso.

“sure ya can, doll, but…” you can tell toji’s impatient, as with you, so with a roll of your eyes (toji mumbles under his breath that you’re a hypocrite), you sink down slowly on him, the arousal of your cunt wet enough to take him without prep. inch by inch you take him deep, head thrown back as toji enjoys the view — the curve of your body, how your nipples poke through your camisole — and he smiles as his baby calls out his name from being so full.

“o-oh my god… toji—” the last bits of his name fades out when he moves his hips experimentally, the pain soon fading into pleasure and the feel of his cock in you causes you to lean forward.

“yes?” he grins, body now propped up with his elbows, meeting you halfway, “is my princess tired already?”

“n-no, i can do it,” you mewl when your hips start to bounce, the stretch of his dick feeling so good. he’s reaching places in you that you can’t even fathom, “i can take you…”

toji groans softly at your declaration, body twisted in such pleasure as you soon find a rhythm on him, relishing in the way toji watches you with lust in his eyes. he helps you with a hand on your hips, but the other pushes your top past your tits, mouth latching onto your nipple and taking one into his mouth and the gesture halts your movement for a bit. a chill runs through your body as he swirls his tongue around your bud, a breathless moan leaving you as toji looks up at you through hooded eyes.

it’s got you clenching, and toji hums into your chest, moving to your other nipple before releasing it with a pop! “tired?”

you make a small sound of agreement, the sensations of his thick cock in you paired with his lips on your tits and the burn of your thighs too much for you. he happily indulges you, bringing your body close to him before he plants his feet on the sofa and fucks up into you, a choked moan leaving you. that one thrust was just to tease you, limping into his embrace as he hears the slap of his balls onto your ass.

“you’re taking me alright,” toji laughs, cut off by a moan when he continues his ministrations, entranced by how you’re so wet you manage to leak down his length. with how your pussy is drooling, he rams into you easily, obscene noises of your sopping cunt against his pelvis as your sounds of pleasure comes out in little breaths.

“so wet,” toji comments softly, cock twitching from how your boobs felt against him and how your pussy feels so damn tight. it hugs him so snugly he has to will himself not to cum, but you’re making it difficult by how you call out his name in whines. “don’t tell me she was wet earlier already?”

you can hardly focus on his questions as he bullies his cock into you, body rocking from his relentless hips and the friction of your clit against his skin, but you mutter out a yes, a high-pitched one that’s got toji chuckling.

“my baby loves it when i talk dirty, huh?” you whine into his neck, arms tightening around his neck, “she loves it when i tell her how much i want to slam my cock into her pussy, yeah?” toji is ruthless, continuing to thrust while his words have very much the same effect. “or maybe she wants me to say how i want to cum deep in her cunt, filling her to the brim. shit… does she want me to fuck a baby into her?”

you clamp down around his cock with a loud moan and he stutters, “gotta stop clenching around me, darlin’, f-fuck.”

“y-yeah… wan’ that…” you pull away from your hiding place to babble out, eyes close to closing and drool dripping down the sides of your mouth. “wan’ all your cum, daddy.”

toji sucks in a breath at the name drop and in a second, he’s switching the positions. he admires the sweat on your skin and your heaving chest, and for the first time he’s able to see just how soaking wet you are, along with the stretch of your pussy on him.

“wan’ you to make me a mommy…” you mewl softly, and that’s all it takes for the other to start moving again because if it’s anything he loves more than seeing you crumble at his words, it’s how you tell him what you want.

you can feel toji twitch in you at that, but you have close to no strength, letting him thrust into you with vigour that’s running out too — he’s too besotted with your moans and face that’s morphed into pleasure, along with your whiny pleas.

“c’mon, open your mouth, mama,” toji pulls on your bottom lip with his thumb, “stick out ya tongue.”

you obey, hand squeezing his bicep as he gathers saliva in his mouth again, thrusts stopping briefly. he can feel your hips move, but you’re still focused on how toji purses his lips and how the spit leaves his lips — the long line of spit that descends slowly onto your tongue and the tension that surrounds it tells him you love it.

“attagirl,” he grins, wiping the corners of your cavern as the pace starts up again, and it’s so sudden you already feel like cumming.

“g’nna cum, daddy,” you mutter out, legs closing around him when you feel the familiar coil of your abdomen and toji just holds you closer, intoxicated with the moment that he wants it to last. “gonna—”

your eyes are blown wide when toji secretly reaches down to press a thumb into your clit, drawing lazy circles. that’s enough for your orgasm to come crashing down on you, pussy clenching hard on the other.

“daddy— oh my god!” toji still continues to rail into you, whimpers of his name spurring him on until you’re moaning out again as his cock spurts his cum deep in your cunt, filling you with his load until it spills out.

toji immediately drops down and starts to lap at your clit, a first class seat to his cum leaking from your pussy, laughing when you hardly care about it staining the sofa, too cockdrunk to care about reprimanding him.

“so pliant,” toji uses a finger to push his cum into you, “maybe i should get you like this more often, heh.”

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen toji #fushiguro toji smut #fushiguro toji x reader #toji smut #toji x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro smut #jjk toji #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji x you #jjk scenarios #jjk smut #jjk drabbles

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suguru-getos · 5 months

Text

— soft yandere suguru geto pt 1 —

-> building the story in this one. warnings: none! the reader meets suguru for the first time since her best friend was encapsulated by a curse causing nightmares and issues. it’s fluffy <3

suguru had one goal — irradicate the non-sorcerers so there comes to be a world without curses. satoru on the other hand wanted to make people capable enough to fight the curses. the goal was same - a world where curses don’t exist anymore. suguru was hell-bent on achieving that of course. gaining fame as ‘geto sama’ a monk-looking saintly human being who helps people. the backgrounds are for suguru to handle anyways - he needed curses to get powerful & eventually achieve his goals.

his hatred for monkeys was unsubstantiated. no one who was not in control of their cursed energies would be spared by suguru geto. he didn’t even spare his parents. though he knows certain monkeys are slightly more valuable than others. some are his banks, some give him curses to swallow. and some are the ones who have no control of their CE and end up attracting higher curses/creating them.

what he didn’t take into account was you. your best friend was tormented by sickening nightmares of being non-conned almost everyday. aches in the back, cramping and utter pain during her period. you had almost given up — as her roommate, you had searched all psychologists; all doctors. nothing seems to be working. until one day — you found a ‘monkey’ treated by none other than geto sama.

without wasting time, you believed their gratefulness and their willingness to lend you the address. since nothing is working — you will definitely try anything at this point.

the moment your car landed on the geto estate you knew this man was no joke. why else would he be able to afford something like this otherwise? on the other hand — you were suspicious as to his ulterior motives. what if he was a mafia boss or something? who knew. finally, after some wait; you were advised to follow the instructor who led you to suguru geto.

he sat there, a merry & a friendly smile over his face. something that’s practised even as he talks to your friend. “yumiko san.” he grins, “you have symptoms like rape nightmares, don’t you? you feel like you’re being touched in the wrong places & there’s nothing you can do about it?” your best friend teared up, she had never felt so intricately seen and heard the way geto had made her feel. he raised a hand, and the curse that was latched into her, unseen by you. unseen by her.. latched itself into suguru’s hand.

she instantly felt lighter & felt better. while you were extremely considerate of what suguru geto did, you were not pleased. what even was that — you and your best friend bowed and on your way to leave. you turned back, “what did you do?” you couldn’t help but ask.

“ah, i have god’s grace in my hands thankfully. nothing much. prayed on her behalf that her problems go away. little one.” he hums, monkeys are usually dumb enough to be happy-go-lucky with the treatment. you weren’t. suguru hums, “if that’d be all, you may leave. i have other things to cater to.”

your siren eyes met his own, deep down. you could sense suguru hated your best friend. it was just a hunch— the vibes were so off. you hum, “what do you practise then? what form of meditation?” you crossed your arms, eagerly wagering for more answers on his behalf.

suguru chuckled in disbelief, an insignificant, puny monkey was asking ‘him’ questions? “be grateful and leave.” he said dismissively. and your best friend held your wrist, dragging you outside. you were adorable and so curious. pity you were just an ordinary, low-class monkey.

“he’s a scammer, a fraud! i’m fucking sure! let’s go to a doctor.” you scoffed, gritting your teeth. glaring daggers at the man who laid down in front of you on a stage, seemingly uninterested. suguru wanted to play with you too, the same curse that was latched onto your friend, he transferred it into you, going out. now you’d have the same symptoms and suffer. shouldn’t have voiced your shit so hard, tsk…

unfortunately for suguru, you ended up like one of those who can see curses once subjected to cursed energy. you screamed gutterally when you saw the hideous creature attached to you. an amused smirk ran past his lips at the way you tried to shove it away. your friend was in utter confusion — what did she do? got on her knees and apologized on your behalf to ‘geto sama’ who promised to treat you. and forgive you of course. forcing her to leave.

you screeched curses and profanities at suguru, who was more than pleased to see you hit some sort of a standard he has for people he’s allowed to care about. his hand touched your crotch, right where the curse was supposed to be holding, unconcerned with your flustered resistance as he absorbed it.

“there we go, little girl.” he smiled, while you watched the curse turn into a ball. “this is the thing that was latched onto your friend. normal humans can’t see these. some of them can. i can.” you sat next to him and asked him a multitude of questions about this. you don’t remember the last time you had talked to someone this much & suguru doesn’t remember the last time he was so thoughtless. he was observing literally everything. your facial features, the way your brows scrunched when you emphasized over something, how you overcommunicated with your hands at times, rolled your eyes ever so often and shook your legs while you asked questions and waited eagerly for your answers. you blinked and your lashes looked so long and luscious, your hair suited you just well. he wonders how your soft looking skin would look all marked up with hickeys. he wonders how your voice would sound when you would moan or scream out his name. he wonders how his name would sound. how your lips would curve a certain way to pronounce ‘suguru’. oh he’s slowly losing his mind isn’t he?

he asked you to stay the night and join for dinner since it was quite late because of everything he just told you. you of course obliged and met his adopted daughters, miguel and the others who he called family. holy fuck they worshipped him. you knew that because of the way they respected you — treated you as their own because suguru said you are a guest today. his daughters were bratty but they knew their limits; seems like suguru raised them well.

after dinner, you joined him for a walk outside, pouting and flushed because he wasn’t wearing his gojo-gesa anymore. he almost looks so normal with that. “you aren’t an actual monk are you?” you raised a brow, grinning when he shook his head in denial. “no, i’m just here to collect cursed spirits because of my technique for a greater cause.” he hums; replying gently and looking deeply into your inquisitive eyes. you threw another question at him, seemingly obvious. “what greater cause?” you tilt your head like an indulged bird, and he caught that gesture. “want to know everything at once? hmm? little bird.” he smiled, looking relaxed and like a normal human being. “i’ll let you know with time.”

you had a peaceful and a sound sleep, why? because you were unaware how suguru watched you sleep in awe. just thinking of the ways he would watch you smile again, just thinking how he could make you feel special again? he can brain wash you into thinking humans are detestable, no?

the next morning, you were called for breakfast and had a great time, making promises to visit again while suguru bid you a farewell by kissing your knuckles. looking ever so charming. oh you will visit again, otherwise suguru geto would: either way… your red thread of fate was sealed.

suguru geto had a little crush…

or was he in love?

#geto suguru #geto hcs #yandere geto #yandere geto suguru #yandere jjk #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk hcs #jujutsu kaisen hcs #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen drabble #jjk drabble

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austinsastrology8991 · 11 months

Text

> 8th House LAWD in the HOUZEs <

8th house is the darkness - what you aware is bad but dont like to think about> which is why you tend to repress it - or are incredibly honest about. I view it as like voldemort zappin harry - you were cursed, but now u got powerz

8th house lord in the 1st - the darkness is splattered on yo face. you are a mysterious, and intriguing person; and this feels like a burden to you > because people be looking at you as if you escaped from a failed lab experiment. this is > 6 < houses away from the 8th so the 'darkness' feels like work for you > because people looking at you like a criminal, so you have to be careful not to act like one > but you always actin a lil sly, because you see the dark as a necessary evil, and its apart of your everyday affairs 8th house lord in the 2nd - the darkness is apart of your assets. you utilize your pain and transformations to help you grow > and utilize it by helping others > 7 < houses away - through helping others deal with their dark facets; you can churn it out of them and help them turn it into their ultimate advantage (and your own) by making others your little sock profits. your self esteem however is under pressure to to be of someone of value to others

8th house lord in the 3rd - the darkness is on the tip of yo tongue and you got dirt all under yo finger nails. You have a penetrating mind and you can't help but obsess over anything that enters yo mind. this is > 8 <lt;; houses away - which makes your privacy > very private > you know to keep your thoughts to yoself because you think of the most fucked up shit, and you know if you speak on it you getting cancelled. your a mouse just avoiding the mouse traps that you set up for yourself through the cascades of your own mind. and the mouse traps that others attempt to create for you > are the easier ones to dodge > because you da master at the mouse trap 8th house lord in the 4th - The darkness is never forgotten - you were basically born in a cavern; where you had to raise yourself - but since its > 9 < houses away - this has taught you much and well about the dark, and you low key know how to dodge bullets because you were born in da matrix. this does make you a secretive person though; because you know the secret powers of da dark - and want to be decisive who you teach it too

8th house lord in the 5th - the darkness is where you shine - you are taboo, and the idealization of the dark was formed by your presence alone, because you expose it by falling into it on purpose its > 10 < houses away - you are notorious for this; which means you mastering the dark, and your whole life force (5th) has been dedicated to the darkness > its like you self-sabotage to practise mastering your pain > and now you have real authoritative power due to your notoriety of walking out da dark unfazed 8th house lord in the 6th - the dark sorcerer - you deal with the dark all da time, and since reality so heavy on you, you know how to manifest incredibly well, since you had to in order to survive. > 11 < houses away. you have a probing interest within your community/friends and its probably due to your ability to figure out problems so well; but since you see how it is, this can cause serious issues in fitting in with your community, due to your ability to manipulate reality

8th house lord in the 7th - the dark you know - somehow your partners / the people you meet are dark, and you don't really view yourself as dark; more those around you > 12 < houses away, means that the dark is surrounding you, and it is a necessary lesson to learn how to manifest what you want and stop believing that after being a good person,; good will find you > you must learn to identify what a monster is, to know how to avoid sticky situations

8th house lord in the 8th - The dark is dark - the darkness within you is a grim tale, and you may feel it follows you > 1 < houses away, this darkness is written on your body language > we can see how much pain has plagued you, but we also notice how strong you are to have survived it. if anything you must realize most people could never operate normally after having been traumatized the way you have > and so power falls onto you in many ways... you just need to be bold enough to see it

8th house lord in the 9th - the dark transformed you from a maggot to a moth (not a fly so technically a compliment) - the dark should have been nicer to you than most, but you still would have had something extreme happen to you, and this likely affected your mindset more than anything; but its a sinister killer > 2 < houses away - means it will grow in time > you may grow into power but as you grow; you'll notice the burden/toll/grip it has on you. you will surely reap the benefits, but you will pay the price 8th house lord in the 10th - the dark throne in da big scary castle - your reputation should be dark, and you are vocal about it > 3 < houses away. you are fearless about the dark, even though out of all people, your someone who should be afraid of the dark > and this only exacerbates the fear others have of you > because your bold in what you say, and what you do. but be careful with what you say because it can and will affect your public image greatly > and how well you succeed in venturing through the darkness will be talked about

8th house lord in the 11th - the dark ritual - you are affiliated with dark places/people and you are almost forced to conquer the dark > 4 < houses away. your dark past follows you; so you affiliate yourself with dark people > to be able to feel like you overcame the dark that consumed you as a child. This trauma however, should be utilized to your advantage, because since you have been rejected a lot by others, it should have built yourself some strong armour; where you navigate the world with strong defences > people should trust you faster; especially with power

8th house lord in the 12th - the dark hidden behind you and within - you are surrounded by the dark all the time and this makes you pretend like it isn't dark far more often than what is appropriate > your likely conditioned this way, but since its > 5 <; houses away, your intense creativity and self expression/ self sabotage, can later help you identify the dark faster than most, because your intuition has been molded by dark trials, and this can make you a beacon of hope for people experiencing dark times

Shout out to @Linnienin for the edit <3

#astrology blog #astro community #astrology #astrology notes #8th house #8th house lord #astrology observations #astrology placements #house placements

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boyfhee · 10 months

Text

KISSES&FRIENDS ⌇ PJS

g fluff f2l w kissing wc 0.7k note i want him so bad requested

“we should kiss,” you say a little over the sound of the drama playing in the tv, your voice spilling it’s way to jay as he sits on the opposite corner of the couch, scrolling through his phone even though this was supposed to be one of nights you two spent watching movies and skipping sleep.

“what?” is all you receive as a response as he looks up from his phone and settles his eyes on you. he blinks a few times, waiting for your response, but your eyes are fixated on the scene playing on the tv, and jay sighs, as if to say something again before you beat him to it.

“i said, we should kiss,” this time, you’re looking at him, with your same unamused expression and the same nonchalant voice, the same sombre gaze that is curtaining your pretty eyes, for some reason.

“i heard you,” he puts his phone behind him, shifting a little to face you completely as you mirror his actions. “why, though?”

why though; they’re the words that can have multiple answers depending upon how you want to respond. you can say you want to kiss him because you like him, or because you’ve never kissed before and would like to try it. you can reason it by saying you just want to kiss him, no reason, but you choose the words that convey your concerns the best. “because i have to shoot a kiss scene tomorrow,”

“and?”

“it’s my first kiss,”

“so, you’re asking me to kiss you because you want me to be your first kiss?” there’s a slight amusement in his voice as he says that, tilting his head slightly to the right before soft chuckles dance off his lips. “do friends ask each other to kiss them?”

“perhaps, they do,” and you chuckle the same way, your soft voice and soft smile makes his lips curl up in one as well. jay takes a few seconds to look at you while you’re looking at the tv once again— the way you relax against the couch, the way you’re so immersed in the show that you don’t even realise that he’s looking at you.

“alright,” it comes out more as a whisper as he shifts to the centre of the couch, stretching his arms over to you before pulling you towards him, one hand on your waist while the other helps you settle your legs over his, flaunting his characteristic smile that gets your heart racing. “let’s kiss,”

“what?”

“you wanted me to kiss you,” he shifts a little towards you, leaning a little closer, his hand pressing lightly against your waist as if to pull you closer. “besides, it can help you practise for tomorrow. maybe, i can teach you how to kiss,”

and you’re leaning in instinctively, your gaze moving to his lips for a fraction of a second before looking back at him. a part of you is telling you to stop, but your arm is already on his shoulder, slowly going around his neck, and you’ve come too far to go back. “you’re saying that as if you kiss someone everyday,”

“i wish, but i don’t,” it’s like a quiet secret whispered to you, the way he says it, the way his warm breath feels against your lips, the way it makes you grip slightly on the hem of his t-shirt. his words are riddled with anticipation, eyes on your lips for the past sixty seconds. “maybe, we both can learn something,”

you close your eyes, anticipating his lips on yours, wondering how it would feel, but every single thought ghosts your mind as he puts his hand on the side of your face, tucking your hair behind your ear ever so softly, kisses so slow and sweet, you feel the heat wash across your face. you feel him smile when you kiss back, a soft nip at your lips that catches you by surprise, making you pull away slightly as he laughs quietly.

he rests his forehead against yours, fingers drawing random patterns on your back while your hand settles on his cheek, caressing softly with your thumb. “why did you agree to kiss me?”

and jay chuckles again, moving his lips back to yours. “don’t know, maybe i like you or something,”

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prettieinpink · 9 months

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Being that girl once again- back to school!

It’s back to school season everyone, and my favourite times of the year. In this post im going to give you stuff to do for back to school + advice in specific areas of your school life! I hope everyone can take away something from this post <3

THINGS TO DO BEFORE BACK TO SCHOOL <3

Revise your past term content in your core subjects, ensure there’s nothing you do not understand(it’s better to understand now than have to understand later)

Review what you are going to be learning for this current term in your core subject, you don’t have to study it, just familiarise yourself.

Catch up with your friends- hang out, call or text before the new school term. My favourite thing is to create predictions of drama, couples etc in the upcoming term w my girlies!

Create SMART goals for you to achieve that term, in any aspect you want. I say; 1 goal for academics, 1 goal for social and 1 goal for extracurriculars/sports.

Clean your room !! do a deep clean and declutter. E.g wipe down all surfaces, hover pillows, vacuum floor, clean mirrors, take out any clothes you dislike

Do an everything shower + face masks!!

ACADEMICALLY

Everyday afterschool, revise everything that you’ve learnt today + the things that you struggle on

Anytime you get homework, complete it as soon as possible. Most of the time, it’s easy and non time consuming.

Create study guides for exams/tests while actually learning instead of when the assessments are actually coming up. It saves you a lot of time, which you can use for studying effectively.

If you don’t already, have a specific learning/studying style that works for you. E.g flashcards, blurting, mind map, spaced repetition, the feynman technique. (ofc you can have multiple). Just know the pros and cons of each studying technique.

Or, what I do is that I assign specific studying techniques to different subjects e.g science - blurting, HASS - flashcards, maths - the feynman technique. This may be different to what you have the most success learning.

Have a place, time every day or at least most days, where you can study without distractions. I like to study at the library afterschool, it’s chill and literally void of any distractions.

The only advice in which i’ll say is not optional– do practise questions under the said test conditions. Stop using websites, listening to music, being on your phone etc. Get in the zone and transfer the environment.

SOCIALLY

Make an effort to say hi or goodbye to some people, even if you do not know them that well. If you’re up for it, ask them how they are going or how their day has been.

Start remembering names and birthdays. This will literally make people like you so much more, it’s so simple but people swoon over this. Process names in your mind and write down birthdays in your calendar.

Don’t be afraid to talk to others. Most people do not care if you talk to them, and some are glad that you talk to them. This is how people become well-known or well-liked.

Watch videos on how to converse with people you do not know well effectively and become close with them. TED x has a lot of videos on this, and are usually helpful.

Don’t try to fit in with the crowd. It’s so draining, and even if you think they do, they most likely dislike you(sorry!) . Instead, find/be with your people.

Join a club/extracurricular. You meet so many like-minded people this way, while still developing your own skills. I say everyone should at least have one solid extracurricular.

If you are in a talking stage, three weeks is enough time for him or you to decide if you’re willing to date them. It’s not the 1920s anymore, we have imessages, facetime, skype and others to communicate and get to know each other without contact

Call out your friends if you notice them doing something toxic or generally anything they shouldn’t do. E.g gossiping, getting mad at others, bullying someone. If they continue, it will influence you in the long run.

MENTALLY

Reframe your mindset. I know most of us do not favour school, but do not dwell on negativity and find ways to be positive/neutral about your circumstances. You’ll feel so much better.

Detach. Detachment is literally essential in highschool, there’s so much drama and most likely you will somehow get tied up in it. Stop absorbing what happens and let it influence you, observe what happens and learn from it. I have a post on this here.

Start saying affirmations everyday. I know affs are usually viewed as a manifestation thing, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be a simple one minute way to cultivate a neutral/positive perspective of yourself.

Journal. Things will happen, so journaling is a great way to discuss your circumstances, feelings, trauma, relationships etc and develop a sense of identity at the same time. I have a post on this here.

Meditate. It can be go-go-go constantly, but just take a break and gain some mental clarity and see how much better you feel decluttering your mind.

Embrace a change and growth mindset, especially in an environment where we are constantly required to adapt.

PHYSICALLY

Start stretching.. seriously. You sit at a desk for like 5 hours a day excluding lunch and recess, everyday, which is of course going to do a number on your body. It can relieve pain in many different areas.

Have at least 1 form of exercise you do everyday. I know being students, we have to sit at a desk constantly. But, do not give up on practising good exercise habits. Not only can it help with results, it’s good for you.

Get the recommended sleep of 6-8 hours per night, which is good quality sleep without disruptions. It helps with long term memory and you’ll feel better.

Start packing healthy but tasty lunches to school instead of buying. You’ll save so much money in the long run, and it’s better for your body.

BEAUTY

Get your uniforms tailored just a bit. Not too noticeable, but enough that it fits better on your body. Especially for button formal shirts, as they make you look 10 times as bulky than what you actually are.

Buy new jewellery, earrings, necklaces or whatever you’re allowed. Subtle but noticeable jewellery makes girls look so pretty.

Learn new hairstyles!! Don’t just wear the same hair everyday, mix it up, it’s fun and makes you look attractive.

Get a good eyebrow gel + clear mascara. Legit life changer, I look so much better everyday because I look put together without make up.

apply vaseline on areas you would apply highlight, but avoid your eye area.

Have a good skincare regime!! Being a student is stressful, getting pimples is a sign of stress.

Okay that's it. Happy back to school everyone! Here’s an affirmation for you <3

I am intelligent and capable. I am skilled and confident in my abilities. I am perceived well by others. I am healthy. I am wealthy. I am looking for this term to be full of good grades, vibes, friends, growth and fun.

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janners · 1 year

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Forgive and Forget

Ao’nung x deaf!reader

warnings : little angst, Fluff, little bit of violence

wordcount : 9.9k

a/n : writing angst is so fun, but I also can’t write fluff for shit lol. Also bolded italics are when they are using sign language and just bolded is normal talking. Also I'm not good at coming up with titles, also not sure if I like this work sooo yea.

Being born into the family of Toruk Makto brings great joy for everyone. One problem, physical disabilities. Children turn to their mothers and fathers, for their comforting words and lullabies. But for you, you could only rely on touch and vibrations as your ears have been blessed with silence. Ever since you were born, you could not hear anything but muffled noises until it developed into silence.

Jake and Neytiri were stunned not knowing how to react as the great mother gifted them a child of tìkakpam(deafness). A child brought into a world of danger and curiosity who is at a disadvantage in many aspects. They brought you to Norm hoping that there was a way to assist you in any way. Normally hearing aids would be the answer but unfortunately the anatomy of a Na’vi is much different compared to a human.

Norm promised them that he would find some sort of solution.

As the years passed, the more you grew. Most of your life was within the village. Jake and Neytiri wanted you to be safe knowing that hearing is a big part of their lives when it comes to sensing things around them. Though for you, you felt as if you were a burden. Having to constantly be with someone at all times and not being able to explore with your siblings. You understood the dangers that lurk beyond the village lines, but only once did you want to experience what others experience.

Learning also took you a little longer compared to other kids around you. You didn’t have a way of communicating with anyone until Jake remembered that sign language existed. Working with Norm, they created Na’vi sign language for you to learn. As they slowly introduced the new language to you, the more eager you were to learn. A fast learner is what they saw you as. Just within a year of practising and learning, you were amazingly advanced for your age - or at least amongst humans as Norm put it.

Being 17, you were allowed to have a bit more freedom compared to when you were younger. Even if you couldn’t go out as far as the rest, you still had certain areas you were allowed to explore. You also passed your lknimaya with little effort, just like Kiri the Ikran chose you without wanting to kill you. It seemed as though the great mother gave both you and Kiri close connections to her. Your Ikran had a deep purple colour with delicate black, yellow, and light purple accents covering its body - her name being flefle.

You had a routine that you followed everyday. Wake up, stretch, eat, then head out to do your chores. Your chores only really consisted of joining the gathering group to collect plants and fruit for the clan, as well as training under Mo’at with Kiri. Though on special days, you get to teach children sign language hoping that a second language could be learned throughout the clan. The children adored you, being gentle and patient with them and even goofing off made them love you as a teacher.

Unfortunately, the one day you decided to go against your parents' rules was the day you’d get caught by uniltìrantokxolo'. It all started with Tuk complaining that Lo’ak wouldn’t take her with him to explore the forest. Tuk had ran up to you as you were weaving some baskets, she quickly signed “Lo’ak is being a meanie, he won’t take me with him to the forest with the others. Can you please tell him that he has to take me!”

You give her a small smile in amusement knowing how Lo’ak and Tuk are half the time. You put the half done basket done to sign back “TukTuk, you know it isn’t very safe in the forest especially when you are still my little baby sister” she could only pout knowing that you are right but she tried asking you once more “Please y/n, I’ll be safe I swear on Eywa plus Lo’ak is strong enough to protect us and if not then he must suck as a warrior” You huffed in delight, you told Tuk to stay put as you went to go talk to Lo’ak about it.

Walking towards him seeing as he is ready to go to the labs before embarking on his adventure with Kiri. You quickly clap to grab his attention, he turns to the noise - once he saw you he could only sigh, especially with Tuk trailing behind you. You gave him a head tilt with a knowing look, he could only roll his eyes knowing what this was about.

“Tuk what did I tell you about telling y/n?”

Tuk stuck her tongue out to Lo’ak hoping it would offend him. He scrunched his nose at her giving a disgruntled look. You walked in front of him, giving him a flick on his forehead and making sharp gestures after. “Are you trying to go exploring again? You know how father reacts when you do things like this especially sa’nok when you bring Spider with you”

He gave you a deadpanned look since his conversation happens every time he tries to go out and explore. “How come you don’t tell Kiri this?” feeling a little insulted (sarcastically) when you only talked to him about this. “Kiri knows her limits unlike your skxawng ass”

He could only make a mocking face with his mouth imitating your words. You rolled your eyes at him now. You turn to Kiri hoping that they’ll be safe. “Are you guys going to stay in the areas we are allowed to and not go to the prohibited areas?” Kiri gives a curt nod “I’ll try to, you know how Lo’ak gets' ' Before she finished her sentence an idea popped into her mind. “Why don’t you come with us for once?!” You only sigh. “Sempu and Sa’nok would not like that you know, I think you forgot about my rules that they’ve set for me”

Lo’ak watching the interaction between you two made him throw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Eywa, just come with us for once and not be a stick in the mud Tsmuke” You gave him an irritated look when he signed “stick in the mud” but he wasn’t wrong.

Tuk suddenly jumped up from her spot just now forming what they had said.

“Lo’ak pleeaasse convince y/n to come with us, that way she won’t have to worry about me”

He only groaned just wanting to leave now. “Just come with us y/n, just this one time before Tuk keeps complaining?” You gave him an unsure look knowing how your parents would react to you being out of the safety zones of the village. But you thought, only one time couldn’t hurt what’s the worst that could happen, right? Finally you gave in, Lo’ak content and Tuk cheering. You all walk off towards the lab to grab Spider - your relationship with Spider isn’t very existent since you don’t see him very often.

As you enter the lab, Lo’ak and Kiri go their own way as you head towards Norm and Max. Giving a quick hello to them, you walk closer to them curious on what they’re working on. Taking a closer look, you gave Norm a knowing glance, he had been working on a hearing aid equipped for Na’vi ears. You tap his shoulder “Uncle Norm, I have told you already that you do not need to do this for me. I feel bad that you are taking your time on just this.” Norm turns to you with a bleak look on his face. “Don’t feel bad, I want this for you, I want you to be able to experience what we hear in your beautiful home plus you are my niece, of course I would do this for you.”

Just before you could respond back, Tuk drags you away to the entrance doors. Waving Norm bye before Tuk could drag you any further. Going out you see the three of them waiting for you and Tuk. “Hello Spider” he gave you a small smile before signing "Hi” back. He didn’t mind you either, although he didn’t know much about you it seemed as though you didn’t judge him for what he is and he appreciated it. All of you were now venturing off into the dense forest. You follow closely behind Kiri as you weren’t as familiar to the paths like the rest. You snap your fingers to grab Lo’aks attention once more, “Where are we even going?” Giving you a mischievous grin he said “A surprise” which could only mean bad things knowing how he is.

Continuing to walk through the plants for a couple more minutes before Lo’ak made everyone stop. You bump into Kiri’s back giving her a questioning stare, she gestured you to crouch down to the ground. You weren’t as to why, you turned to see what Lo’ak was doing, making us stop suddenly. He was looking in a certain direction, you followed his gaze just to fall on an old abandoned shack. Oh no, the shack we’re not allowed to come to. You waddled over to Lo’ak giving him a slap on his back. “Are you crazy?” You made hurried movements with your hands to show that you were annoyed with him. “This area is prohibited to all of us”

He gave you an annoyed glance before talking with Spider. You threw your head back while plopping down onto the dirt below you. You signed to Kiri that this was a dumb idea. She could only agree. Just before you guys decided to leave, your brother found tracks in the mud. They were fairly large considering that it was a boot mark. “You don’t think it is uniltìrantokx do you?” Giving them a worried look while pulling Tuk closer to your body. Their ears folded down seeing as it may be the only thing that made those marks. Lo’ak quickly communicated to our father about our findings.

He gestured to all of us to go quickly and quietly back to the village. “Lo’ak is it Skypeople?”

He nods briefly, you felt upset at yourself for allowing this to happen. You hold Tuk and Kiris hands as you try to navigate back home. Abruptly Tuk was stolen out of your grasp by a dreamwalker. You tried reaching out to her desperately wanting to pull her back before another dreamwalker pulled you by your kuru. You let out a strangled noise, panic coursing through your body from the sudden shock. They kicked your legs to make you kneel, you see they rest being captured the same being done to them.

You watch as they start talking, not understanding a word coming from their mouths. Lo’ak talking as well and making a vulgar gesture to the uniltìrantokx. You couldn’t focus well, your breathing uneven, pupils shrinking in fear.

“Hey shut that girl up, her breathing is too loud for me to hear this boy”

“Got it colonel”

Someone grabbed your cheeks harshly making you look at them. They were spewing words out as if they were yelling. You panic more seeing that they were angry with you, not being able to respond. You close your eyes, shaking your head vigorously.

“LET HER GO YOU ASSHOLES, SHE’S DEAF SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU”

The grip on your face loosened, your panicked state still present. Your eyes shift to Lo’ak as he gestured to you to calm down. You tried to slow your breathing down as you continued to witness the interactions between your siblings and the dreamwalkers. As time passed it grew dark, waiting for your family to come help you all. You glance over to Tuk making sure she was okay, her ears suddenly perked. Watching as the rest of them seem alerted by something.

It was a blur really, you were on the ground, next thing you knew an arrow shot across hitting one of the avatars. Guns started shooting near you, the one time you were glad not to hear those scary machines. Not knowing what to do, Lo’ak ran to grab you off the ground. Finally reaching the dense trees and bushes for cover, he asked if you were okay. “I’m okay, are you alright though?” He gave you a small nod. Only a minute later everyone else had found the two of you. Relief washes over Jake and Neytiri's faces seeing everyone was unscathed.

It seemed as though they had gotten rid of all the uniltìrantokx. Your mother came to you with a worried look pulling you into a quick embrace before pulling back to give a stern face. “You were not allowed to be here, you were to stay in the village” You could only give her a downcasted face as you were in the wrong. Neytiri sighs knowing how hard this must’ve been on you. Giving you one more quick hug before following everyone else back home.

Raids continued for another week until the tawtute eventually left Pandora once more. Unfortunately, your father wanted to leave for both our and the clan's safety. It was like another nightmare, the only home you knew was now being left behind. You weren’t as upset compared to your siblings but it still hurt knowing that you had to leave everything behind.

Jake stepped down from the role of Olo’eyktan with a solemn look. Everyone slowly mounted their Ikrans preparing to take off. There wasn’t much to take with you unlike Tuk and her toys and trinkets. She was always able to lift the mood somehow. You put the rest of her things on your Ikran before seating yourself on Flefle. Your father had given a signal to finally take off, taking one last look at the people and the forest. You thought about many things while flying during the long hours. How will I nag Norm now? Will the reef people accept a Na’vi like you? Would you be outcasted? How will you be able to feel vibrations on sand or water? It has troubled you greatly not knowing if you will be able to feel vibrations.

After a couple more more hours you start to watch as the dark blue slowly turns into beautiful crystalline water. You admire the colourful coral decorating the reef before spotting Na’vi with a much lighter skin tone. You follow your father and the rest on to a small clearing on the sand to land. As you land, Na’vi starts to slowly surround your family with curious and questioning gazes. Jumping off your Ikran, you walk closer to Neteyam grabbing his arm. Two boys emerged from the crowd looking at your family. They walk around to the back studying your bodies.

You felt a lingering stare coming from behind. You look over your shoulder to catch the taller boy studying you the most. He realised you had caught him and averted his gaze to his friend beside him. He started talking but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. You turn to Neteyam asking what they were talking about, he told you not to worry too much about it. Giving him an unsure look you look back to your parents conversing with two other Na’vi. The Tsahik swiftly made her way towards you, she circled you and grabbed your tail while having an unimpressed look. You took your tail out of her grasp giving her a furrowed glance. She only looked at you with a squinted look before heading towards Lo’ak.

First impressions weren’t exactly the best, especially with your reaction. They had accepted your request of Uturu much to their dismay. Their daughter Tsireya, as Lo’ak told you, guided you all to your Mauri. You made them go ahead as you still needed to grab the last items from your Ikran. You wondered what Tuk had packed as it was heavy. Tossing things over your shoulder and carrying another on your back, you started to walk to catch up to your family. The boy from earlier saw you struggle, he tried calling you but no reply. Is she ignoring me on purpose? He gave up, annoyed with you not responding to him. Back with you, you finally caught up with your siblings. Settling into the Mauri you observe your brothers and sisters jumping into the water. You turn to your parents with doe eyes, wanting to join your siblings. They give each other a glance.

“Should we let her? I think it is safe enough in the reef to let her go, right?”

Neytiri took his words and contemplated whether to let you go or not. She did not want you getting hurt while wandering off but she also wanted to grant you freedom. She looked to where you were standing still waiting on their answer, she gave you a small smile.

“You may join them”

You gave her a toothy smile before joining your brothers and sisters. At the edge of the dock, you stare at the water, enamoured by its beauty. Lo’ak swam to you, “Are you allowed to come?” Smiling at him you nod. A small distance away, Tsireya asked Neteyam a question that she had in her mind since you guys got here.

“How do you all know sign language so well?”

Neteyam spun to face her, his mouth shaped as an O forgetting that they do not know about y/n.

“Our sister cannot hear you see, so we all learned sign language together to be able to talk with each other”

Her eyes widened with the fact that you were deaf but also impressed with their language skills. Of course Ao’nung could not hear Neteyam talk about you, too busy with daydreaming while waiting for everyone to join.

You dip your feet into the warm water before slowly emerging the rest of your body into the ocean. The water was soothing, helping with the aching muscles you had. You follow Lo’ak to join the others. As everyone emerged into the ocean, it was like a whole new world beneath the surface. You wandered off on our own just like Kiri, you admired every little detail of the coral and other aquatic plants surrounding you. Small unique looking fish started to swim around you. A look of amazement graced your features from the colourful fish and their behaviour. Eyes following their movement before they swam away.

It seemed as though your brothers could not hold their breaths for much longer. They all surfaced not seeing me or Kiri with them. Ao’nung ducked back into the water, he saw you far from the group swimming by yourself. He couldn’t help but see a breathtaking scene before him. You spun around to see where the others were, instead you met the boy's eyes. Feeling a little flustered you sent him a small wave, but all he returned was nothing while he went back up to the surface. Ears folding down, you felt a little dejected from the actions but focused back on the different world around you.

You had gotten out of the water much sooner than the others. A cut was on your arm from the corals being too immersed with your surroundings. Heading to the healing Mauri, you took quiet steps to the entrance, knocking on the side to grab the Tsahik’s attention. She looked up seeing you with blood running down your arm. Waving you over to sit, you were quick to sign an apology. Ronal looked at you with an odd expression. “You know sign?” Giving a curt nod, “I was born with tìkakpam” Eyes widening for a second before coming closer to you to inspect your cut. Placing a paste of mixed plants and herbs onto your arm before wrapping it with leaves. “Do not get this wet until the cut has been sealed” You smile “Irayo” You stood up to leave until you felt a hold on your hand, it was the Tsahik. Ronal had some remorse towards the girl despite their differences. “How would you feel about teaching the young children sign language? I heard from your mother that you did some teaching but I did not know what it was until now.”

You felt the tight feeling in your chest loosen a tiny bit. “I would love to.” To your surprise the Tsahik gave you a smile who was now shooing you off to continue your exploring. You felt a bit down due to not being able to swim for the time being but you shook the feeling off, striding to the shore. You slowly walk while water rises to tickle your feet, from a distance you see the same boy from earlier throwing spears into the sand. You walk towards him, you grab a stick from the sand and gently tap the tree near you. Ao’nung was slightly startled, missing his target. He turned to prepare to cuss someone out but immediately stopped as his eyes landed on you.

Eyes curving into a moon shape as you smiled and waved at him. There was a slight flutter in his chest seeing you. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way, he barely knew you.

“What are you doing here?”

You squint at his moving mouth, you picked up on what he said. “I was just walking until I stumbled upon you throwing the spears” He tilted his head, not understanding why you were using that language. Seeing his confused face, you completely forgot that he must’ve not heard about you. You quickly sign once more “oh sorry, I don't know if anyone told you but I am deaf” You gave him a gummy smile, he felt a bit guilty not knowing especially when he had tried calling out to you a few times. He walked closer to you, “I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself properly yet, I am Ao’nung” You look up to meet his gaze, he was quite tall for his age. “Nice to meet you Ao’nung, My name is y/n.” Y/n? A pretty name. He had thought.

You spent the rest of your time with Ao’nung. He’s shown you most of the island and told you about some traditions they do. You guys compare your traditions, competing with which is better. Some small banter here and there. Walking along the docks you spot these adorable creatures in the water. “What kind of creatures are those?” Your eyes glimmered in admiration. A small chuckle escaped Ao’nung’s lips, “These are called Ilu, very kind creatures they are.” Smile widening, you look into his eyes asking if it was okay to touch them just with your face. To him, you looked like an overexcited child receiving their first spear, he could only grin at the sight. He gave you the go ahead with a small nod. The Ilu swam up closer to the dock as you crouched down and reached your hand out.

It felt much more different from what you expected. The Ilu were very smooth and slippery, slightly rubbery. Your tail swinging back and forth, you look back up to Ao’nung with a determined face. “Can you teach me to ride one?” He gave you a surprised look, “Well I planned on teaching you all the next morning…” You stood swiftly grabbing both his hands, your face full of eagerness. He couldn’t resist and gave in. “Fine, but you better show off how good of a teacher I am tomorrow when I teach your siblings” You throw your hands up, victorious in convincing him. Immediately your mood dampened, you looked down to your arm, ah the cut. “Sorry Ao’nung, It seems that I’ve forgotten about my injury. I cannot get it wet.” Your face is apologetic.

Studying his face, he appeared a little disappointed. “It’s alright, once your arm is healed up I will teach you then.” Giving you a gentle smile. Alas, someone saw the scene, that person being Tsireya. She was ecstatic seeing her brother having a soft spot for you. Tsireya then saw you guys part ways for the day, just as you went out of view she ran up to her brother with the widest grin.

“You like her don’t you!?”

He was stunned by the sudden appearance of his younger sister. Heat filled his cheeks swatting his sister away.

“W-what are you talking about? Me, liking her? That is nonsense.”

Tsireya put her hand on her hip giving him the most unbelieving look she could give him.

“Your cheeks say otherwise brother”

“Bah, this is none of your business anyways. Plus I could say the same when you were looking at the forest boy”

A smug expression replacing his flustered one. Tsireya now he one who is flustered from the sudden mention of the one brother. She smacked his arm as hard as she could.

“OW, you did not have to hit me that hard women”

She could only roll her eyes. They both head on back to their Mauri constantly bickering along the way.

The felt someone shaking you gently, you awaken rubbing your eyes and letting out a long yawn. You turn to see who woke you, your mother. She ushered you over to eat, you took a seat beside Tuk who was munching away. You ruffle her braids while signing good morning. Neytiri gently tapped the floor grabbing your attention, feeling the small vibrations you lift your head. Your mother signed about the talk you had with Ronal. “I heard that you are to teach the young ones sign?” You give her a soft smile, “Yes, the Tsahik assigned me to be a teacher after hearing that I was a teacher back home. I am quite excited” Neytiri huffed out air in content seeing her daughter settling well to the changes. “I hope you are ready then, the Tsahik told me to tell you to meet her at her Mauri today after you finish eating” Nodding, your attention back on eating thrilled for today’s events.

You wave your mother off as you head to the Mauri with a little skip to your walk. Finally reaching your destination, you see the Tsahik patiently waiting for your arrival. As you greet her, Ronal’s face softens from her usual hardened look. “Are you ready for your first day?” You nod energetically, excited to see what it was like to teach metkayina children. Both of you reach a small secluded area, just before you could take another step you spot a boy about your age waiting there. “This is Fänau, he will help you with the young as they are only beginners, he will translate for them.” You open your mouth in understanding. “The parents should come in a few minutes to drop their children off, have fun” Giving you one last smile she waves you off.

You walk to Fänau wanting to introduce yourself and get to know him a bit better before lessons start. “Hello, my name is y/n I hope we can work well together” You give him a kind smile. “I am Fänau as Tsahik mentioned, I am excited to work with you.”

Ao’nung was doing his morning chores. As he was carrying some baskets before he spotted his mother and you walking together. Suspicious, he followed behind them to see what they were doing. They stopped in a small area, he squinted his eyes to see what his mother was saying. First day? For what? Then he spotted Fänau, watching you two interact made him feel irritated. His mood was now spoiled, walking away with tight fists.

The first lesson was amazing, the children were amazing despite only knowing a few basic signs. You were radiating happiness as you passed a few members of the clan, you couldn't even be bothered by the stares you were getting. Walking to the shore, you remembered that your siblings were learning to ride Ilus today. Increasing your speed you finally spot them in the water getting ready to ride. You crouch to sit and watch them learn since your cut hasn’t fully healed yet.

Neteyam noticed your figure from a distance, he waves nice and high. Seeing you wave back made him chuckle. Ao’nung took a glimpse of you, you really were pretty in the sun. He felt a nudge in his side, turning just to see Lo’ak giving him a death stare.

“Stop ogling my sister fish lips”

“Who said I was looking at your sister?”

He looked away immediately trying to shield faint blush. Lo’ak gave him a dirty look not believing what he’s seeing right now. He slowly walks to Tsireya still giving Ao’nung a warning look. You continue to watch your siblings learn, chuckling to yourself as you saw Lo’ak fall off his Ilu. But your gaze trailed to Ao’nung who was also laughing, who knew one could look nice when they are laughing like that. Waving your hands frantically trying to wave those thoughts away. You must’ve thought you were crazy for thinking that way.

As they finish up their lessons, Kiri makes her way to you with a content smile. “The ocean is so beautiful” You smile agreeing with Kiri, the only thing missing is hearing the water and waves. How you wish you could hear it. Everyone had dispersed doing their own things, except you and Kiri. You stayed where you guys were, admiring the nature around you while Kiri was admiring the sand in the water. You caught a glimpse of figures moving from the corner of your eye. It was Ao’nung and a few other boys talking to Kiri. Your head tilted to the side wondering what they needed Kiri for. Brows furrowing see the discomfort on your sister's face. Standing from the sand, you walk over and grab Kiri’s hand and look towards Ao’nung. “Is there something you need from Kiri?” Ao’nung faltered seeing you appear beside Kiri.

Instead of him signing to you he talks once more to Kiri. You catch the word freak coming from his mouth. You give him a hurt expression, you press your hand against his chest to put space between him and your sister. Just before you could say anything else Lo’ak comes onto the scene taking your hand away from Ao’nung. Neteyam then came along to relieve the tension between the two boys. Only a second later, literally a second, a fight broke out. While Kiri was laughing, you had a horrified expression on your face. You walk up to Ao’nung pulling on his tail to get him off your brother. In a blink of an eye, you felt pressure against your check making you fall back.

Everyone froze in place. First person to move was Kiri helping you off the ground asking if you were okay. You didn’t reply, you only looked at Ao’nung with a crestfallen look taking over your features. Before more punches could break out, your fathers came to the scene quickly pulling everyone apart. Ao’nung tried reaching out to you before being pulled away by his father. Your father left you with Ronal to help the bruise that is forming on your cheek. “Thank you for the paste Tsahik '' She shook her head, “You do not need to thank me, I swear to eywa if my son does something like this again so help me” You chuckle quietly seeing Ronal worked up over her son. “Also there is no need to call me Tsahik, just call me Ronal '' Her face is gentle as she continues to rub paste on your cheek. You were beaming now being on a first name basis with the Tsahik.

As the sun sets and the moon rises, you carefully take off the leaves surrounding your arm. The cut was finally sealed up, a smile graced your features knowing you can go into the water once more. The smile faded watching your brothers and sisters come into the Mauri with both annoyed and upset looks. “What is wrong? Did something happen again?” Neteyam could only sigh, “Ao’nung took Lo’ak outside the reef and basically left him for dead” Your expression etched into anger, not knowing why Ao’nung would do this. Kiri looked a little surprised as it was rare for you to get mad.

Standing up with anger radiating off your body, you stride towards Ao’nungs Mauri tail whipping around in frustration. Reaching the entrance you give the Olo’eyktan and Ronal a quick greeting. You didn’t meet the eyes of Ao’nung as you signed to Ronal. “I'm sorry to disturb you Ronal, but may I talk to your son” She took in your stiff posture and expression, the corner of her mouth perking up a little before giving you a brief nod. She found it quite amusing that her son was about to earn another lecture from someone else, especially from you.

Ao’nung hesitated with following you out, not ready for what you have to say. Finding a small spot on the sand you finally turn to meet his nervous gaze. Your stern face changed to sorrow. “Why?” He knew exactly what you were talking about but like a skxawng he played dumb. “What do you mean?” Frustration growing once more, you punch his chest. “You first called us freaks and then left my brother to die outside the reef” Your gestures were sharp and quick showing your bitterness. He only looked down knowing what he did was extremely wrong. You huff air from your nose in disbelief, you thought he was nice but you thought wrong. You made him look at you once more. “Not only that, if my siblings are freaks, then what am I? I have the same features of those tawtute and I cannot hear. Does that make me a monstrosity compared to everyone else?”

Not once did Ao’nung feel that way. You were one of the most gorgeous Na’vi he’s ever seen. He wished he could say those to you but he was still silent. Tears well up in your eyes, your head hung low. “To think that one person wouldn’t judge me apart from my family. I really thought we could’ve been friends Ao’nung maybe even a little bit more than that” Again silence, you took it as a sign that Ao’nung wouldn’t change. Ao’nung was frozen in place, not being able to comprehend what you signed. You wanted something more? Just as he lifted his head to look at you, your body was already walking away from his figure. He wanted to reach out, he really did, but he stayed in place not wanting to make matters worse.

You make it back to the Mauri and sit right beside your mom. Head leaning into her side, tears now falling freely accompanied with small sniffles. Neytiri wanted to ask what had happened but thought it was best to comfort her daughter with her warm touch. She brought you closer into her body as you continued to cry quietly. Neytiri started to hum your waytelem hoping you could feel the vibrations from her chest. The soft murmurs from your mothers body calmed you, you felt your body slowly falling into slumber. In time you fall asleep completely, Neytiri picks up your small figure and puts you onto your mat and gently drapes a thin cover over you.

Jake looked at Neytiri with a concerned look. They knew that moving somewhere away from the forest would come with difficulties. It was a small given that the children would be seen differently due to their different appearances. He contacted Norm and asked about his little project for you. His throat felt parched hearing that Norm had almost figured it out. Norm mentioned that in another week or two it could be ready for use. Jake sighed in relief, you would finally be able to experience the sounds of their stunning world. Looking over to your peaceful frame, he could only worry because you were his first daughter and he knows how much you’ve been through.

Days have passed, you’ve gone everyday to teach the children along with your new friend Fänau. You have also been ignoring Ao’nung because you weren’t ready to face him. Ever since that day, you haven’t really given yourself the time to learn how to ride and explore more of the ocean. Fänau was walking by your side after finishing the lesson for today. You turn to him with a cheeky smile, “Have you gotten the chance to talk with Zoprrì?” giving him a small nudge with your hip. His face flushed with purple and gave you a small smack on your arm. “Do not tease me. I tried but I fumbled over my words and ran” Fänau buried his face in his hands in embarrassment. You bring your hand up to his shoulder for comfort. “You still have lots of time, he will definitely see how awesome you are Fänau” You give him your widest smile with a small thumbs up. He could only release a small laugh at your silly gestures.

It was his turn to give you a teasing smile. “How’s Ao’nung?” You give him a deadpan expression. “You know damn well how he is, I did not rant to you two days ago just for you to ask that dumb question” He chuckled, “He is like a lovesick puppy, he keeps trying to find you” You roll your eyes as you cross your arms, then releasing with sharp movements. “Lovesick? Lovesick my ass, if he really did then he would not have called us freaks' ' Fänau found it amusing when you started ranting, but he knows that you would not budge from the idea of avoiding Ao’nung. “He is going to keep trying to talk to you until you finally give in” Eyes squinting at him, you slowly sign “I won’t give in, watch me” He pursed his lips then released a long sigh. “You will, I know you are still upset with him but you will have to talk with him eventually especially when you live here now” Your ears face down, he was right but Ao’nung did not deserve your friendship right now. Both of you continue to walk discussing random topics.

Ao’nung once again had gone in search of you. He desperately wanted to apologise, he did not want to lose you. He searched throughout the village but you made no appearance. Realisation took over his features that you must’ve been teaching right now during this time. Walking to the area, he thought of many ways to somehow start the conversation once he finally has the chance. Just on time, the lesson had just finished but he paused his movements. He saw you walk away with Fänau. Twinge of jealousy pricks his heart seeing the two side by side. Instead of walking away, he followed the two of you making sure not to make a sound. He was too far to see what you were discussing with him, he moved in closer hiding behind the trees. He read your movements and got to the part where you mentioned him calling you freaks. Guilt washed over his body, it was his fault for saying those foul things.

He studied your expression, it was full of annoyance and a tinge of sadness. Ao’nung did not want you to feel upset with him. An idea popped into his head, gifts. Remembering that his sister was skilled in making accessories. Leaving the scene, he ran with determination towards his family Mauri. Today was an off day for them, entering the Mauri he spots his sister already working on some small trinkets and bracelets.

“Tsireya?”

She looked up from her work seeing her brother standing awfully awkwardly.

“Did you need something Ao’nung?”

He wasn’t sure why he was feeling shy for asking a small favour from his younger sister. Fiddling with his fingers he opened his mouth just to close it again. He felt frustrated with himself for not being able to get the words out. He let out a groan, looking straight at Tsireya once more before he blurted out.

“Can you help me make stuff for Y/n…”

Her eyes were blown wide before she beamed with delight. Scrambling up to stand, she ran up to her brother pulling him towards her working area. Tsireya pushed down on his shoulders forcing him to sit, but did it a bit too hard making him fall hard on his butt. He let out a small yelp, giving his sister a stunned look. Letting out a small sorry before she sat next to him with a look of curiosity.

“What exactly did you want to make for her? A charm? Bracelet? A beautiful top? Hair decor? Cute trinkets?”

He cut her off by smacking his hand on her mouth to stop her from rambling. She was getting too excited for his liking. Pinching his nose bridge he came up with an idea.

“I was hoping to give her a variety of things until she finally lets me talk to her. I thought we would start with an accessory for her ears seeing she has a hole in her ear”

Tisreya looked at her brother full of admiration. She was grateful that you were able to change Ao’nungs foul behaviour. She shuffled closer to Ao’nung showing him a variety of pieces that they could use to start this earring. He knew that you usually wore feathers but they didn’t really have those. Some scales caught his eye, they were shiny and in the light they reflected with a beautiful orange and yellow colour.

“Do you think I could mend these together and shape it?”

He picked the scales up showing them to Tsireya. She squinted her eyes while staring at the scales in thought. A solid nod, he exhaled not knowing he was holding his breath for her approval. Hours went by as Ao’nung was a bit difficult to teach especially when snarky remarks were being tossed back and forth. Tsireya constantly smacks his hand when he does something wrong after being told repeatedly not to do that. Or he groans in frustration while dropping the earring flopping backwards onto his back. Tsireya could only give him apathetic looks. Through all of that they finally finish the set of earrings made for you. They both release a sigh of content before falling back at the same time.

“You plan to do this how often Ao’nung?”

“...every night”

She sits up so quickly, almost giving herself whiplash. Looking at Ao’nung with a gaping mouth and furrowed look.

“AND YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T LIKE HER”

“WHAT DOES MAKING STUFF FOR HER MAKE YOU THINK I LIKE HER?”

Tsireya looked at him like he was crazy. She threw her hands up in exasperation while huffing out.

“HAH, YOU’RE BASICALLY COURTING HER YOU SKXAWNG”

He choked on his words, courting? He gave his sister a flabbergasted expression.

“I’m leaving, I can't stand this conversation anymore. I need to go drop the earrings off”

Tsireya mocked him as he walked away heading towards your family's Mauri. As he’s walking, he looks down to the earrings in his hands. Thoughts run through his mind, Will she like them? Will she throw it away? Will she wear it? Distracted by his thoughts he didn’t realise that he had reached the Mauri. He started fidgeting with his creation worried that you may be there. Just before he took another step, Neteyam had stepped out of the Mauri. He turned his head, catching Ao’nung in his line of vision. His once relaxed face turned stiff. Ao’nung grew nervous seeing your brother walk slowly towards him.

“What are you doing here Ao’nung”

His voice is firm and demanding.

“I was uh, was wondering if I could give this to y/n?”

He held out his hand to reveal the delicate handcraft. Neteyam looked puzzled, not understanding why. He could see some flaws in his craft as he tried to shape it into a feather look and the weaving looked a little messy. He gently took the earrings from Ao’nungs hand making sure to handle it carefully. Ao’nung shoulders dropped in relief that Neteyam accepted his request.

“I cannot assure you that she will forgive you with this”

Ao’nungs expression grew grim.

“I know, but I will keep trying”

Neteyam looked at him with a pleased face. He was glad that someone was willing to try for you. Many men in their past clan didn’t make many advances towards you due to your deafness. Seeing that there was someone here making an effort provided him some peace. He bids Ao’nung off, entering the Mauri he trudged to your hunched over figure. He taps his foot beside you, catching your attention. “A certain boy came by '' Your ears pointed down, turning away from him, focusing back on your basket weaving. He sighed, he went and sat in front of you. “You know you cannot avoid him forever. I know he said some upsetting things but all of us have now become a bit acquainted for the most part” You stop your moving hands, lifting your head to meet his stare. “Yes you guys have but not me. I am not ready to face him yet.” Neteyam pursed his lips, he took one of your hands and placed the earrings gently in your palm. “He came by to give you these, you can tell he made them” You bring your hands closer to your body, studying the accessory. The beautiful colours resembled your actual feathered earrings except these were shiny and reflective. You noticed the small cravings on the side trying to resemble the feather details. Your lips curled into a faint smile.

Neteyam noticed and smiled, he gave you a small ruffle on your head before heading out once more. As he left, you got up from your spot and walked over to your space. You had a small trinket box where you stashed away your things. Carefully placing the earrings into the box, you look at it once more before closing. You pondered why he had given you a set of earrings. Continuing your basket weaving, you stayed in thought about the different possibilities on why until the sky grew dark.

As a few more days passed, everyday Neteyam or Lo’ak would give you something made by Ao’nung much to Lo’aks dismay. Each item was beautifully made even though there are some small mistakes you can spot out. The other day, Neteyam had brought in a delicate top covered in intricate designs. Tsireya definitely helped him with that. Your mother had told you that there was a big celebration tonight and wanted you to join. She knew you weren’t big on these types of things but thought it would be nice for you to join in one every once in a while.

The celebration was nearing, you thought long and hard about what you should wear. You look towards the collection of accessories that Ao’nung gifted you. You missed Ao’nung, but you were scared to approach him. You took this chance to wear everything he made for you as a sign of forgiveness. Putting on the bracelets, the earrings, neck pieces, and the beautiful top. Lo’ak had walked in to grab something but saw you wearing Ao’nungs “ugly” creations. He gave you a furrowed look with his eyes peering at you. “You’re really gonna wear his things?” He saw you give him a brief nod. He could only sigh, “If he tries anything tonight don’t hesitate to grab me okay?” Smiling, you gave him another nod for reassurance.

Heading to the main gathering area, you feel deep vibrations under your feet as you come closer to the celebration. You see bright lights from the fires illuminating the entire ground accompanied by the shining moon. You move your head to see your father talking to somebody, they turned their head a bit and you realised that it was Norm. You missed him dearly, you carefully snuck up behind him before jumping on his back. You felt his body jolt, he turned to see your extremely happy face. He gave you a tight embrace before pulling away. Your face changed from happy to confused. “How come you are here uncle?” Seeing those words he gave you a toothy smile. “I finally figured out the hearing aid situation” Eyes widening with tears slowly forming on your bottom lashes. “This isn’t a joke is it?” He gave you another smile while shaking his head. You jumped into his arms once more as tears were finally released from your eyes.

“Do you want to test them right now, see if you can hear the music?” You nod vigorously as you wipe your tears away. Norm carefully picked up the wooden box and opened them to reveal the small hearing aids. He gently placed them into your ears adjusting the sizing to fit. Putting on the lowest level of volume, he turns them on. You weren’t sure how to react, emotions were everywhere. Ears twitching to the small sounds around you, the people chatting, the crackling of the fire, the booming music. Tears welled in your eyes once more, you turned to Norm, ramming into him giving him another hug as your cry in his chest.

“How do you feel kiddo?”

Your eyes widened at his voice, “I can hear you, I can actually hear you” He chuckled lightly as tears threatened his vision as well. You quickly turn to your father, you run to him and grab his arms. “Sempu try talking”

“Nga yawne lu oer Ma’ite”

His voice sounded more fatherly than you thought it was. Deep voice with raspy undertones. You lean into his body, overwhelmed with joy. You grab the rest of your siblings and your mother to hear all their voices. As a family you shared your tears of happiness, you finally felt normal.

Ao’nung and Tsireya arrived late due to Ao’nung worrying too much about his appearance and Tsireya constantly reassured him that he looked fine. As they joined the clan they head towards their parents first notifying their presence. He noticed his mother with a smile on her face while looking in a certain direction. He followed her gaze stopping on you, you were dancing with your younger sister Tuk. His eyes open like saucers seeing you decorated with all his creations. Purple hues appear on his cheeks and ears as he continues watching you dance with such positive energy radiating from you. Tsireya smirked, elbowing his ribs.

“Go. Ask her to dance with you”

He swallows his saliva in nervousness. He couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Do you think she’ll say yes?”

Tsireya laughs lightly.

“I’m sure she will, plus she’s wearing all your things”

Ao’nung begins walking towards your dancing frame. His cheeks still warm as he watches you dance with such grace and freedom. As he got closer, you noticed him coming to you. You stopped dancing and signed to Tuk to go to Kiri. Once he was standing right in front of you he couldn’t muster a single word. You watched as he stood silent, you were hoping he would say something but nothing came out. A small pang of disappointment filled your chest. You turn to walk away until his hand grabs your arm. You move your head slightly just to see him out of the corner of your eye. “Would you like to dance with me?” Eyes widening from the question. You give him a shy nod trying to avoid his gaze. He guided you near the centre, softly grabbing your other hand. You felt weird being in the middle of everything, you kind of wish you were back dancing on the sidelines.

Ao’nung sensed your slight discomfort, so he decided to dance first. He did a couple moves here and there, a few being a little silly to make you more comfortable. You finally are confident enough to start dancing as well. You moved swiftly and rhythmically to the beat. Ao’nungs movement falters, watching you fall into the music once more. He was slightly confused not knowing how you knew the rhythm so easily. But he forgot about it immediately as you grabbed his hand pulling him closer to you.

From afar both pairs of parents watch as their children enjoy their night. Neytiri settled beside Ronal while watching her son and her own daughter dance together. “They seem good,” Ronal smiled, agreeing with Neytiri.

“Your daughter is a very bright girl despite the difficulties she faces”

Neytiri watched you with a gentle expression.

“She is isn’t she”

An idea surfaced in Ronals mind, she was sure it would stun Neytiri.

“How would you feel about me teaching her the ways of a healer? I know my daughter is the next Tsahik but I think it would be good if y/n learned about healing”

She whips her head to face Ronal with shock. Neytiri knew you weren’t much of a hunter or warrior so healing made sense.

“You would do that for her?”

Ronal nods.

“Anything for a future daughter”

Ronal hid her laughter seeing Neytiris reaction. Both mothers had become close over the couple weeks. The celebration had slowed down, everyone settling into chatting amongst themselves while their children ran around. Few decide to eat niktsyey as well and enjoy their drinks. You and Ao’nung decided to settle down as well, sitting with the rest of the chaotic group. Ao’nung sat close to you but without Lo’ak giving him the dirty eye. He shifted a tiny bit closer to you just to get on Lo’aks nerves. As for you, you were fidgeting with your fingers while watching the children play with each other. A small group of children you recognised as some of your students. They pulled your arms wanting you to play with them. You sign to Ao’nung quickly saying you’d be back before getting dragged away by the kids.

He watches you as you run around with the children chasing you and one on your back. Ao’nung felt as if he was on cloud nine just observing you getting along with the kids so well. He knew you would make a great mother someday. Rotxo nudged him teasingly.

“You definitely like her, can’t deny it now”

He swats Rotxos hand away, giving him a small hum. Not once has he taken his eyes off you, you looked amazing in his crafts and he felt proud. Lo’ak had thrown a pebble at his head but he didn’t even notice, too entranced with his sister. You finally wave to the children off before sitting beside Ao’nung once more. The rest of the night was filled with talking and laughter especially because of Lo’aks and Ao’nungs bickering with each other. You haven’t told Ao’nung about your new hearing aids, wanting to wait to be alone to finally have an actual conversation with each other. But throughout the night you kept increasing the volume as you get used to the sounds. You heard what Ao’nung sounded like but not clearly due to the other chatter around you.

As everyone slowly starts to head back to their Mauris, you took Ao’nungs hand and guide him to the shoreline. He was a little confused but followed you anyway. As you reach the shore, gently bring him down to sit with you. You make your body face him, you look into his ocean eyes that are shining in the moonlight. “I forgive you” You watch as his eyes widen and a smile settles on his lips. “You do?” Giving him a gummy smile you nod briefly. His expression dropped just a little, “I’m sorry for saying those cruel things, and for not saying anything. I don’t think you’re a freak, you are unique and beautiful. I’m sorry for making fun of your siblings as well, the silent treatment was well deserved for me.” Grabbing his hand, you give him a look of compassion. “All is forgiven and forgotten okay? It is alright now” Giving him a wide grin you quickly sign, “Can you say my name with your actual voice?” Ao’nung gave you a puzzled expression but went along.

“Y/n?”

Your smile widened, eyes turning in crescent moon shapes. “You have a lovely voice” He blinked a few times not understanding how you heard him. Seeing him confused you exhale in amusement. You slowly remove the headpiece that was covering the hearing aids. You turn your head to the side to show him the small device. Ao’nung tilted his head still confused on what the device has to do with your hearing, especially when he doesn’t understand tawtute machinery. You chuckle at his expression, “My uncle made this device to help me hear, it took many long years to perfect for me. But I can finally hear everything… even you.” Ao’nung felt his cheeks and ears warm up from your comment from earlier about liking his voice. His tail wagging unintentionally behind him.

“No wonder you were dancing beautifully to the music”

This time your cheeks were set aflame hearing his gentle voice and compliment. You buried your face in the palms of your hands feeling embarrassed. As you try to avoid his gaze, he feels happy knowing he had an effect on you. He gently caresses your hands, bringing them down to his lap. Ao’nung gazes into your golden eyes that seem to light up in the dark. Studying your face, the glowing specks, your unique striping and your soft lips. Mustering up his courage, he slowly leans in, inching closer and closer to your face. Your eyes flutter closed anticipating the possible kiss. Feeling his hand on the side of your cheek, the soft touch of his lips finally connect with yours. The kiss was gentle yet passionate under the moonlight. The nervous feeling in your system vanished as the kiss lasted longer. Pulling away to catch your breaths, you look into each other’s eyes before breaking out into quiet laughter. Purple hues still visible on your cheeks.

Sitting together in silence, bodies facing the ocean with your tails entangled. Listening to the waves crashing against each other, and the animals chittering through the night. Head resting against his shoulder and his head resting on top of yours. You felt at peace slowly dozing off to the sounds of Ao’nungs breathing. Ao’nung peaked at your face, a small smile forming on his lips thinking, how did I get so lucky?

Years passed, you became an experienced healer assisting Tsireya with her continued Tsahik studies. As well as continuing teaching the small children sign. Ao’nung became a strong warrior, earning multiple markings. Not only that, you became mates. Ever since that night, both of you were inseparable. Ronal adored you, more than Ao’nung or so he said. Your brothers also become strong warriors within the clan. Lo’ak followed the Metkayinas ways as Neteyam continued the Omatikaya ways. Kiri and Tuk both joined the gathering groups although Tuk was training to be a warrior. Ao’nung was also able to finally give you those Ilu lessons which went wonderfully apart from distracting each other. As Fänau, he finally got together with Zoprrì. Both of you were still close friends, much to Ao’nungs disagreement. Everything was finally in place.

#aonung x reader #sully family x reader #aonung #tsireya #loak sully #neteyam sully #kiri sully #tuktirey #jake sully #neytiri #ronal #tonowari #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #aonung x you #aonung x y/n #aonung x sully!reader

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