#feels like i know this show & cast since forever <3

[ambrosiagoldfish]

I've never sent a request before, but I'm fiending for more adam, like anything, anything at all

Benefit of the doubt

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Viewer discretion is advised

Warnings: Angst(?), Not exactly fluff at the end but it gets better, typical Adam TW’s, reader low-key high-key has a complex about being loved, this is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader. (Also Y/n isn’t used, which also surprised me, the author, LMAO)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Request Box: Open

Word count: 1760

A/N: Hi! Thanks for the request! I haven’t had a chance to write something that was originally my own idea in a while, so this was very refreshing! I’ve had this idea since I’ve watched the show so I hope you enjoy it!

I’m entirely up for making a small series from this oneshot, but I would need to know y’all’s opinion on it! (So don’t feel scared to let me know if you want some more of this idea in my Request box/the replies on this post!!)

Also Adam may be slightly OOC but please just chalk it up to him not yet getting his ego’s dick sucked 24/7

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, let me know if you do!

Proofread but of course could have left mistakes!

You’ve existed for almost all of human existence, Almost.

You were the 4th being to be created during the time of Eden. But unlike the other 3, you weren’t human. In fact, you technically never lived before. An honestly hopeless existence, yet it was so beautiful in every way. But for what purpose? Well…

You were created shortly after Eve ate the apple, before she and eventually Adam committed the first act of sin that caused evil to latch onto humanity like a leech.

The reason for your existence was simple. To be Adam’s new spouse, except for when after he died. From the very moment Eve bit the fruit of temptation, it was already decided she would hold no place in heaven. Adam was given mercy due to him not possessing any knowledge of the fruit Eve had shared with him, he trusted her wholeheartedly. Which is exactly why heaven gave him mercy… no, pity would be a better choice of words.

Upon your creation you learned immediately of the happenings before your existence. About Lilith and Eve, and about Lucifer

And so, after Adam and Eve were casted away from the Garden, they continued to live their lives, fostering the existence of mankind for the rest of time. And when they eventually died, Adam was given pity while Eve was thrown to the wayside, the vast unknown.

You thought it was finally your time to experience existence with the one you loved, the one you were made for. Of course you never would know life as he did but surely your life never-after life could be just as meaningful as his.

How excited you were, how completely enamored by the thought of it. But there was a problem with that, Adam had grown into a new person, he was meant to of course, he was human. But he had grown selfish, abhorrent… insecure.

You understood why, to be betrayed by not one but two of his wives for the same person. You couldn’t possibly imagine what he could be feeling. Before you were to meet your future husband, Sera informed you that he had asked for a mask, and once on, he has refused to take it off.

That didn’t bother you, it’s irrelevant to your love for him. You've only heard descriptions of his features. Short Brown hair, gold eyes, bushy eyebrows, some scruff on his chin. All in all, he sounded perfectly fine, ordinary even. But even then it’s his choice to wear the mask, so you’ll respect it.

Finally, the time he arrived in heaven, and when Sera finally introduced you, his new spouse, the one to whom would be by his side for the rest of forever.

He rejected you outright.

“What?” Your breath hitched as you stuttered over the word, the sharp inhale of your lungs through your mouth flicked through the air.

Sera looked just as shocked as you but she quickly regained her composure “What is the meaning of this Adam?”

“If you think I’m going to let my life get fucked over by another one of your “gifts” well, you’ve got another thing coming!” He crossed his arms and shook his head defyingly. “I’ve already learned my lesson with those last 2 bitches.”

“Adam I’m sorry that happened to you but I would never-“ almost like lightning his finger shot to your mouth, shushing you.

“Save it, Sweetcheeks, I really don’t care what you have to say, so just stay there and look pretty, k?” His hand fell and grabbed the sides of your face, squishing your cheeks together, his LED mask flashing a sharp smile.

You saddeningly looked down at the clouds below you.

“Adam!” Sera’s voice sounded through the air, still soft but firm, she continued, placing a hand on your shoulder, “Divine judgment allowed you to be the first human soul in heaven, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I expect you to give your new spouse that same grace.”

Slowly your eyes looked up at Sera with a soft smile. Adam only groaned “Ugh, Fine but don’t be fuxking annoying, capiche?” You nod your head quickly.

“Very good, glad we have it settled.” Sera gives a quick smile, “now, I have some business to take care of so I’ll leave you two alone to get to know one another” With that, Sera flew away leaving the both of you alone.

The silence was thick in the air, the only sound being the occasional wind breeze blowing past. The sunlight creeps in through the clouds painting an orange sky above you both. In every sense of the word, it was perfect.

It was almost funny. You had waited so long to finally meet him, your true love, the one you were made for. All the things you dreamed about, the laughs you’d have together, the warm embrace of the person who you loved. But now… you didn’t know what to say…

“I’m… happy to finally meet you.” Your voice is quiet, almost non-audible. “I’ve been waiting for you since… well, forever…”

He doesn’t respond. He seems to be transfixed on something below you both. You train your eyes on whatever he’s watching only to see the dark cavernous abyss below you. Finally he breaks his silence.

“The fuck is that?” He asked pointing down, a sound of genuine intrigue hidden behind his abrasive voice

“That’s hell?” You stated confused “where would-be sinners will go to be punished, didnt you k-“ you suddenly realized that perhaps Adam really didn’t know what hell was. It was only created relatively recently, after Eve and Him ate the apple, of course he wouldn’t know. “it’s also where Lucifer-“

“Don’t fucking say his name.” Adam spoke, his voice rough in his speech. LED mask putting a harsh frown on his face. “Let’s get one thing straight M”Kay babe, if you’re my “new spouse” that’s something you should remember.” The “new spouse” was said with a tone clearly meant to mock you.

“Sorry…”

“Ugh, It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” He groaned before a wicked smile crept onto his mask “Sooo, that means he’s going to be stuck with all the wasteful beings of existence, HA fuxkin’ hilarious. Guess that makes them the losers and us the Winners!”

His laugh filled the air, the sound was like music to your ears, sure maybe it wasn’t really what you’d hoped he’d fine funny, but you loved it all the same but eventually his laugh died down

Silence again… in admits of all of it you suddenly was sparked with a thought “oh!” Adam looked confused at the random exclamation. “I had almost forgotten… I brought you something, as a welcome gift or was it a nice to meet you gift? Both? Eh, it doesn’t matter but the point is-“ you suddenly snap your fingers.

Golden light began shining, the light seemed like liquid hot magma as it moved and molded slowly into a shape. Light seemed to be overlapping and churning into itself, forming your desired outcome. With one final snap of your fingers, the gleaming gold liquid took hold, and quickly hardened to a solid.

The object that had formed quickly fell down, landing in your arms with a light thud.

“I’m still learning this creation stuff, so I’m sorry if it’s not perfect but-“ you hold out the object in your arms as an invitation to grab it “I learned from Sera that you liked to play guitar when you were alive, so I thought you might like to have one here…”

Adam looked at the instrument in your hands. The base color was gold, the neck was pearly white with gold strings. To be honest it looked more like a harp then anything, like if a guitar and a harp had a baby.

Silence again. Did he not like it? Did he hate it? You go to pull it back to you and apologize when suddenly it’s ripped out from your hands.

“Holyshit, this is sick as Fuck!” Adam immediately started playing some rifts on the new guitar. The sound wasn’t what you were expecting but you guess Sera was right about his talent with the instrument. The whole time his mask had a wide and sharp smile as he mimicked guitar sounds with his voice, the occasional laugh leaving his mouth.

“I’m really glad you like it” you say, a sigh of relief leaving your body.

Adam looked at you, one you missed. He saw how relieved you were, how nice you were being. No person who supposedly loved him ever gifted him something, well, one other did. Someone he trusted and loved more than everyone, anyone. But look how that ended, with them being removed from the garden, away from an eternity of happiness until he died. All from someone giving him what he thought was nothing but love, a gift.

But he could see that this was different, you were different. When Eve gave him the apple, she didn’t explain what it was or why she wanted him to eat it, even when he asked her she didn’t explain. But with you, you had not only given him something you knew he liked but also expressed the reason behind it. Yes, you were different, even Adam could see it.

“Anyways, thanks for the axe, I guess…” Adam for the first time was stunned, but quickly he continued “What was the thing that Sera chick said about me and “divine judgment” or whatever the fuck? That she gave me the “benefit of the doubt…”

You were a bit confused but continued listening, “I guess I should at least try to give you a chance, since you got me this sick ass guitar an’ shit.” Your face lit up, you about began to speak before you were, once again, shushed “B-B-But-” his finger tapped your lips with each repeated syllable ”-only a chance. If you betray me like those last 2 bitches then you’re done, got it?”

To say you were overjoyed would be an understatement, a smile quickly plastered across your face as you quickly nodded your head

“Alright good, so uh, what do ya say about showing me the best places to get a bite to eat around here, I could really go for some ribs right about now.”

“ I’d… love to, thank you Adam”

“Yeah don’t mention it Sweetcheeks” Adam quickly wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you two began walking.

Maybe you will get your eternity of happiness.you can only pray you do.

#Hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x gn reader #hazbin hotel x female reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #Hazbin x gn reader #Hazbin x female reader #Hazbin x male reader #adam x reader #Adam x gn reader #Adam x female reader #Adam x male reader #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam x reader #Hazbin Adam x reader #Hazbin hotel Adam x gn reader #Hazbin hotel Adam x female reader #Hazbin hotel Adam x male reader #Hazbin Adam x gn reader #Hazbin Adam x female reader #hazbin adam x male reader #light angst #angst with a happy ending #x reader #x male reader #character x male reader #fanfic

[touyasdoll]

Vulnerability

pairing: ex!Satoru Gojo x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k

warnings: mildly angsty bc y'all broke up before, rough sex kinda, sex with feelings, y’all broke up and he’s back (surprise, surprise), unprotected sex, creampie, possessive gojo

notes: once Satoru is in love, he is in wholeheartedly. you are never getting rid of him <3

“Say it again, baby,” Satoru drawls, drunk in the pleasure that you’re providing as you glide up and down on his impressive length.

“I love you,” you whisper, just like old times as your hands rest on either side of his neck, keeping his ice blue gaze fixed on your face.

A lazy smile spreads across his handsome face as he guides your hips, his long fingers tightening around your flesh.

“I missed that. Missed you,” he whispers back, words that you’d never thought you’d hear. Not from this man.

It’s been months since he walked out that door. Since you told him to get the fuck out of your life and never come back. He was petrified of commitment and that wasn’t a secret to anyone who knew of your relationship well enough.

“I love you,” you say again, earning you a groan from a man beneath you.

“I love you too, gorgeous,” he replies, nearly stopping your steady rhythm, but the feel of his glorious cock keeps you going.

“Say it again,” you echo his words, desperate to hear those words after months of his denying you of the pleasure.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you, baby,” he breathes out. “I fucking mean it too,” he growls quietly.

His hands nearly bruise your hips, fingertips pressing into your skin when he starts holding you as tight as he wish he would have before. When he was too proud and too scared to just utter the words that roll off his tongue so easily now.

“I need you. I fucked up and I know it,” he pants, easily flipping the two of you over so that he lumbers over you.

He props himself up on one hand and catches your jaw in the other, using a firm but gentle grip to keep your half lidded eyes fixed on him as he keeps driving into you.

“You’re never gonna get rid of me, baby. I can’t imagine a life without you and I won’t. I won’t fucking do it,” he snarls, the sound a delicious noise reverberating between your two sweat slicked bodies.

“Satoru,” you start, but he cuts you off.

“I mean it. Your pussy feels fucking amazing choking my cock, but that isn’t why I’m saying this,” he promises, never missing a beat as his impressive length pummels your poor, abused pussy.

“Satoru!” You cry, hand wrapping around his wrist, your hand so small in comparison to his.

“That’s it. Keep crying for me. Keep saying my fucking name. You will only ever say my name when you feel this good. Do you understand me?”

You nod, staring up at him, fighting the need to screw your eyes shut and the pressure in the depths of your core threatens to snap and ignite your entire body on fire.

“Good,” he grits out, teeth clenched as he doubles down, railing his rock hard cock into you, rushing you towards your finish.

All you can do is hold the fuck on as he sends you flying, soaring up into the heavens as you howl his name. Only his name. The only one you ever wanted to leave your lips as you enter complete and total, all encompassing bliss.

“Fuck,” he sighs, a shiver rocking his body as every muscle in his imposing form tenses and he breaks with you.

He grunts, his body flexing right as something in him snaps and he continues bullying his dick into your pulsing walls. They hug him so tight he feels like he might black out.

For a moment, he swears he does. His hips cast forward on their own, forcing him impossibly deeper as his tip knocks against the deepest part of you, spilling his seed inside to claim you once and forever as his and his alone.

Both of you are lost in a haze, but nothing has ever been more clear to the man panting in your ear. He needs you. He cannot live without you and he’s only sorry that it took him so long to admit it.

That’s why he showed up at your door tonight. Begging for you to just let him in and hear him out. That’s how you ended up right here, desperately trying to suck air into your lungs while your nerves scream and sing in response to every little touch that he offers your overstimulated form.

“I love you,” he reaffirms, the words a soft whisper against your collarbone as he trails his lips across them.

“I love you too,” you whisper, still in disbelief that you’re able to add the little ‘too’ on the end of that sentence.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t say it before, but I’ve always felt it. I’ve always needed you,” he swears, collapsing beside you to bundle you into his arms.

His gentle lips pepper kisses across your scalp, your forehead, and your temple, slowly trialing across your face.

“I missed you. I mean that too, baby,” he says with more conviction than you’ve ever heard leave his lips, his voice shaking with emotion. “I will never leave you doubting that again. I swear. I fucking swear it.”

You’ve never seen him like this. Never heard his voice with anything other than pure, radiating confidence imbued within it. Now, his voice quakes. His tone is full of tremors and uncertainty, something that is foreign to the one who has always known himself as the strongest. Weakness had no place in his words.

But with you, he is weak and he knows it. He has always known it and just never spoken the words aloud, but if it means keeping you. Having you, he will gladly break down those walls to keep you within them. He will build them back up to keep you here with him forever. Where you belong.

“I love you. I was scared and I can say that now. I was too petrified then. Afraid that I’d lose you somehow, but I went and did that anyway and I would do anything not to do that again,” he whispers, his nose nudging against your cheek.

“I’m yours, baby,” you whisper back. “I have always been yours for the taking. I’m not going anywhere.”

Relief washes over him as he holds you tighter, his spindly fingers dragging across your spine.

“I won’t let you,” he vows, holding you close enough that you believe he’s trying to mold you directly into his body. Into his ribs.

Straight into his heart, which you have no doubts that you now know belongs solely to you.

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, please feel free to leave a like, comment, or reblog and they are all greatly appreciated <3

#gojo x reader #gojo smut #satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo smut #jjk smut #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #jjk x you #jjk x y/n

[palioom]

leave

summary: some time has passed since javier left you alone and crying in your bed. now he is back and you hate the news he's bringing with him.

pairing: javier peña x f!reader word count: 5.3k warnings:18+ content; no use of y/n (but a lot of nicknames) ; some swearing; unprotected p in v; oral (f and m receiving); fingering; a hint of spit kink (briefly); angst; javier still has issues pt. 1 "stay"; pt. 3"rest"

• masterlist •

This had been going on for close to an hour now.

All she wanted for him was to leave, stop saying her name on the other side of the door while she was on the floor inside her apartment, tears on her cheeks as she stared down the long, dark hallway.

Just leave and never come back.

After last time, she felt conflicted about letting him back in. Felt like an idiot for still loving him.

She was an idiot for still loving him.

“Querida, please.”

It was close to 3am now and his patience seemed endless. His voice desperate almost.

Was it her imagination or did he sound… exhausted?

More exhausted than usual.

“Go away, Javier.” She answered, voice quiet and broken. Still loud enough for him to hear.

Exhausted too. 

From all the thinking and crying she had done over him.

There was a moment of silence before she swore she could hear him sigh, long and deep.

“You and I both know you don’t mean that, cariño.” 

Him and his stupid nicknames.

Yeah, he was right. 

She didn’t.

In reality, she wanted nothing more than to have him with her, have him comfort her even though he was the cause for all her troubles.

It was fucked up, in a way, what love could do to a person.

Pushing herself off the floor, she stood, opening the door slowly with a trembling hand.

Finding him right across from her as he stopped, his eyes taking in her face. The red, puffy eyes, the wet streaks on her cheeks.

There was that guilty feeling again. Deep inside.

“Cariño.” Javier said, quietly. Brows furrowed and concern on his face.

His handsome, exhausted face.

“What do you want?” She wanted to sound mean, angry, but she couldn’t. 

Never could with him.

For a moment he just looked at her, hands playing with his lighter.

“I just wanna talk, cariño.” He said, feeling that she didn’t believe him. No, he knew she didn’t. “Promise.”

Javier Peña never just came to talk.

There was always something more.

And for a long moment she hesitated, thinking about what she should do.

If she let him in it was bound to lead to a good fuck but more heartbreak. 

But he looked tired, broken somehow.

Guilty.

Like a heavy weight rested on his shoulders.

“Fine.” She said, opening the door further, letting him step in but evading his kiss by drawing her head back as he leaned forward. 

He looked surprised, if only a little, but didn’t push it.

“You better act the fuck up, Javier, or else…”

The words surprised even herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to end the sentence.

Or else we’re done.

Javier seemed to understand what she meant to say, nodding slowly, pensively.

They stood by the door after she closed and locked it, arms crossed in front of her chest as she looked at him expectantly.

One part of her just wanted to kiss him, feel the way his hands grabbed her, feel his dick on her tongue, his tongue on her pussy.

The other part wanted to be done with him forever.

Cast him away for all the hurt he had caused her.

“What’s gotten into you, querida?” He asked, echoing his words from the last time he had showed up at her door, his hand coming to rest on her hip.

She let him, knowing this was the beginning of the end, her resolve never lasting long.

She hated him for it.

“You act like you don’t know at all.” Her response was sharp, but not as sharp as she wished it to be. Lacking venom she just couldn’t find it in her to produce around him. “Leaving me alone crying after fucking me.”

He seemed hurt by her words, but his face quickly went back to its usual facade. Still, the tiniest cracks were showing.

A deep sigh left him, stepping closer to her.

Should he just tell her?

She looked like a wreck but she needed to know.

“I’m leaving Colombia.” Javier said, straightforward, watching her face for her reaction which undoubtedly would break his heart. “In two days.”

She had expected a lot, but not this. 

Never this.

Leave Colombia?

All air left her lungs, her throat tightening as new tears welled up in her eyes.

“What- Why?” Her voice was thick with tears, trying to make sense of his words, her arms uncrossing and her hands coming to rest on his forearms, steadying herself. “And me?”

“They’re done with me here, cariño.” He said, her tears tearing at his heart in a way he didn’t think was possible. “I’m getting sent back home.”

It was as if the floor was pulled from underneath her feet, but he was right there to catch her, his hands on her hips steadying her, pulling her closer to him.

She felt his warmth in front of her as she sobbed.

He couldn’t leave. 

Why did he always have to hurt her?

“So this is goodbye?” She asked through tears. “Just a last fuck and you’re-”

Once again she found herself unable to say the words.

Gone.

“Cariño.” 

God, he sounded broken.

He pulled her close, kissing her forehead as his arms wrapped around her.

That had been the plan, come here to tell her goodbye and have one last night with her, then leave.

Forever.

After all, he had fucked her life up enough, getting her into this mess, this safehouse.

He kissed the scar on her cheek, the reminder of how she almost got killed, all because she was with him.

Because he was with her.

Because he found comfort in her the way his other vices could never come close to.

Then, he kissed away her tears.

Could he really just leave her?

“Cariño, shh.” His words were quiet against her skin, feeling how she curled her fingers into his shirt. “I know, baby.”

She already found herself memorising everything, from the way his lips felt on her skin, to how warm and large his hands were. How his moustache tickled her, how warm he was.

How he smelled.

Sandalwood and something unmistakably him.

How he tasted.

Bourbon and Marlboro Reds.

His lips were on hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, the kiss hungry and desperate as he backed her up against the front door.

A small gasp spilled past her lips and right into him, and he swallowed it eagerly, intent on remembering as much about her as he could.

She was different from everyone else he had met in his life and it fucking hurt him that he just had to leave her behind.

So soft and sweet.

Caring, emotional.

Passionate.

His fingers found the hem of her pyjama pants, pushing them down her hips, not wanting to waste any time with how little he had left.

Panties already soaked.

“Stay tonight.” She said when he kissed down her neck, over her throat and down to her collarbone, the flimsy button up she wore almost all the way open because of the heat already. “Please, Javi.”

He found himself hesitating again, still mouthing at her skin as his fingers pressed against her clit over the cotton of her underwear.

She sounded so sweet when she whimpered.

“I can’t, querida.”

New tears burned in her eyes, head leaned back against the door, trying to blink them away.

Was he really so cruel that he couldn’t even give her that before he left?

One fucking night in her bed?

She hated him.

But she also still loved him, once again finding herself wondering if she could make him stay tonight of all nights.

Knowing she was playing a losing game.

Still willing to take that chance.

“I’ll miss this pretty pussy.” He groaned, sliding her panties down her legs as well, hand quickly back to where he had left off. “Always wet and needy for me, right, hermosa?”

The way he talked stung.

Reminding her this would be it.

One more night and then…

Gone.

“Javi-” She choked on her words, a shuddering breath replacing them as he inserted one finger, soon followed by another, twisting and curling and making her knees buckle. “Oh- Please.”

Trying her damn hardest not to think about it.

His lips were on her breast now, teeth grazing over the skin around her hard nipple before closing his mouth around it.

The way her back arched into his mouth made him groan, teasingly biting her and hearing her gasp.

So receptive.

“Always sound so pretty for me, baby.” He rasped, the heel of his hand grinding into her clit, her knees buckling. “Fuck, I’ll miss this.”

He really would.

Suddenly, he withdrew his fingers but swiftly replaced them with his mouth, dragging one of her legs over his shoulder as his tongue dove in, sucking on her clit.

A loud whine left her, looking down at him, her hands wandering into his hair.

He lapped at her like a starving man, humming into her and smiling when her knees wobbled more, when her voice got thinner.

“Javi- Right there, oh god.” Her hips ground into his mouth, so close to the edge, the pressure inside her unbearable.

So many mixed feelings inside of her, spanning from sadness to hatred all the way to that fucking love she somehow held for him.

Despite everything.

He just had to stay tonight.

“Javi, I wanna suck your dick.” She rushed out, her fingers tightening in his dark hair, feeling him groan, the vibrations making her moan in turn. “Need it in my throat.”

Yeah, he’d fucking miss her.

It was so hard to let her go.

Could he let her go?

“Cum on my tongue first, princesa.” He said, taking just a moment to draw back and look up at her, breathing hard.

That fucking name again.

Tongue back on her, fucking into her while his nose bumped against her clit, it didn’t need much more.

Blood pumping in her ears, stars behind her eyelids.

She loved him.

Her hands tightened into his hair so hard it had to hurt, unsure if she wanted to hurt him or if she just lost control, she came with a strangled moan as his hands kept her from falling, hips bucking against his face wildly.

He kept her upright, slowing down but still working her through every last wave, all the way until she had calmed down enough, breathing heavily above him.

As he looked up, it really hurt to see her, how gorgeous she looked with her cheeks and chest flushed red, her pretty lips parted as she sucked in air greedily. 

Eyes closed, face full of bliss.

It got him thinking…

She hummed into him when his lips found hers once more, tasting herself on his tongue. It always got her head spinning, especially now that her mind was hazy already.

His broad palms moved down over her ass, squeezing gently before trailing down further, grabbing the back of her thighs to pick her up and wrap her legs around his waist. 

“Stay, Javi.” She whispered between kisses, letting him take her to her bedroom, feeling her hips roll against him, probably staining his shirt.

It would just be a keepsake for him, something that was her, something he could pick up and smell when he was back in the States and had a restless night.

He really couldn’t go through with this, but he had to.

He’d done worse in his time than breaking someone’s heart.

But she wasn’t someone.

She was his, wasn’t she?

“Can’t, hermosa.” He replied, biting at her bottom lip, setting her down on the bed.

She looked so pretty looking up at him, eyes so full of lust and also hurt but always that unmistakable look of desire for him, of love.

Gentleness, small smile on her still parted lips, her tongue darting out to wet them briefly.

Hair tousled, skin flushed.

He wanted to frame this, take a picture to take home with him so he would never forget just how pretty and willing she was for him.

Is for him.

Was.

This woman made his head spin. Made him question everything.

She was so inviting.

Bending over her, his lips trailed down her jaw, his hands working the rest of her shirt open, immediately finding the softness of her breasts.

Imagined waking up on them in the mornings, soft and warm, how he could take a nipple into his mouth and make her arch into it. 

Imagined what she’d sound like, sleepy and confused, hovering between two worlds.

Fucking daydreams.

There would be no such thing.

After tonight he would leave and never see her gorgeous face again.

But he liked to imagine as she pulled his blue shirt over his head, as she whined and moaned when he bit at her pulse point, neck craning on its own to invite him in.

The way her body reacted to him.

“Still want me to fuck your mouth?” He asked, needing to take his mind off the What Ifs and the softness of it all. 

What he needed was her tongue, her muffled moans, her tight throat around him.

None of these fantasies would ever find root in reality.

“Yes, Javi.” She moaned, hands immediately working on his belt, then the button of his jeans.

For a moment she just palmed him through the thick denim, tracing the hard outline of him, his groan right in her ear.

Tears in her eyes as she remembered this would be the last time.

He just had to stay tonight, just one night where she could pretend this was more than what it was.

Or ever would be, apparently.

“Need your cock on my tongue, please.” Her voice was a whisper but so full of desperation. 

He grinned, trying to ignore her tears even though it was hard to, helping her pull down his jeans.

She was so willing to do anything for him.

Looking up at him dazed and hungry as he straddled her shoulders, reaching over her to grab one of her pillows.

Her hands already came up to wrap around him, making him groan and falter, closing his eyes.

There was no way he could ever replicate the gentleness of her nimble fingers around his cock, not when his own were so much larger than hers.

The way she spit into her palm before stroking him, slow and gentle, twisting her wrist while her other hand played with his balls.

So damn attentive.

Fuck.

His hand wrapped into her hair, lifting her head up roughly to shove the pillow beneath it, watching how her eyes fluttered from the pain, but didn’t close.

How she enjoyed the pain.

“Open wide, baby, show me your tongue.” He rasped, keeping his hand in her hair, shifting closer to her. “Gonna let me use that pretty mouth?”

“Yeah, Javi.” She whined, leaning forward as much as she could in his grasp, wrapping her lips around his tip, tasting the saltiness of him with a deep hum.

“Just like that.” He whispered when she eased more of him into her mouth, her hands coming to rest on his ass. “Always so pretty with my cock in your mouth.”

Maybe this was enough to make him stay, if she only sucked his cock the right way, he would give in and stay with her.

Stupid thoughts, but it was worth a try.

It wasn’t as if she had anything left to lose anymore.

In 48 hours this would be over forever.

His hips slowly pressed forward, rocking back and forth as he still held her hair in a tight grasp, making her take more and more of him. 

It was a gorgeous sight, how she looked at him through her eyelashes as she gagged around him, spit pooling at the corners of her mouth. He felt her hands squeeze his ass, her body squirming beneath him.

She was so eager to give him control, fucking his cock deeper into her throat until her nose was pressed against the hair on his abdomen for a long moment.

He groaned deeply as she constricted around him, tears in her eyes and he pulled her hair back, allowing her to suck in air as she coughed.

“Again, Javi.” She almost begged and that sound alone was enough to make him grunt so deeply that it seemed like a growl.

Voice hoarse from how he had pushed himself down her throat.

“So hungry for my cock, princesa?” He grit through his teeth, using the grip in her hair to use her mouth as he pleased, seeing how much she enjoyed this. “There’s gonna be no better mouth to fuck, baby. Fuck.”

Again, reminding her he was going to leave.

He reached behind him, grinning when she whined around him as he found her clit, applying pressure as he moved his fingers lazily, eyes still trained on her face.

“That’s a good girl, just like that, princesa, nice and deep. All the way.” 

His words and the way he used his fingers on her built her up rapidly, moaning around him, nails digging into his ass, giving him something to remember her by for a few days.

Javier let her breathe again for a few seconds, watched her eyes roll back into her head as he applied more pressure to her clit.

She truly was a sight.

Fuck, if only he had a camera with him.

He’d have his memory, having seen her so fucked out and cockdrunk many nights before, but nothing beat seeing the real thing.

Maybe he shouldn’t leave.

Maybe he should stay the night.

He couldn’t. 

He shouldn’t.

As he shoved his cock back down her throat and her second orgasm ripped through her, him leaving was forgotten for a moment, as he pressed himself all the way in, hearing her muffled moans and whimpers around him as he fucked her through it with his fingers.

And when he pulled out again, too close to the edge and wanting this to last, he took his time to watch her spit-covered lips, still connected by a small string to the tip of his cock, how puffy and swollen they were now.

Her glassy eyes, trying to stay open.

As she regained her breath, her hands smoothed down his thick thighs only to come back up, moving over his soft stomach, to his sides. 

Then back down again.

Like she wanted to memorize him.

“Stay, Javier.” She tried again, breathless, eyes closing. “Just a little while, please.”

Sounding desperate.

So damn desperate for him to stay.

Just like last time.

“Open, cariño.” He ignored her plea, watching her stick her tongue out. “That’s my girl.”

Letting go of her hair, his hand wandered to her jaw, twisting her head so he could let some saliva drip down onto her tongue.

Something to remember him by, even if only for a moment.

“Good girl. My good, dirty girl.”

She hummed at it, eyes opening to look at him.

Those gorgeous eyes.

The longer he was with her, the harder it became to convince himself he could just leave her behind.

That he could just fly home to Texas and live his life there knowing this stunning girl, so needy and ready for him, had to stay here all alone.

In the mess he’d caused.

His mind wandered again, imagining her looking at him like this in the morning.

Imagining her pretty eyes in the sun as they helped on his father’s ranch.

Her hair done up, a nice, wide smile on her face.

Just more fucking daydreams without a chance.

He moved off of her, desperate to distract himself from these fucking daydreams, hands on her hips as he moved her boneless body around.

The need to fuck his feelings into her became too much.

“C’mon, cariño, you know how I like you.” He whispered as he positioned her on all fours, her body trembling slightly as she already arched her back for him, presenting her ass to him.

She knew exactly what he needed.

“Javier-” Her words were cut off by his hands on her ass, squeezing it before giving it a slight pat that made her jolt forward, too stimulated still.

“Never got to fuck your pretty ass, hermosa.” He said, smoothing his rough hands over the supple flesh before wandering over her back. “There’s so many things we never got to do, had so many things on my mind.”

She whimpered at his words, pushing herself back and against him, needing his cock inside her.

Hoping that could convince him to stay the night somehow, wanting to remember the stretch of him inside her.

“What did you wanna do?” She asked, shivering when his hands trailed up and down her back, feeling his thick cock, still wet with her spit, resting against the inside of her thigh.

“Handcuff you to the bed.” He whispered, hands squeezing her waist, taking in her whimper with a grin. “Make you take all I give you, hermosa.”

Taking himself in one hand, he dragged the head of his cock through her soaked folds.

“Use a toy or two, you’d love having something in your ass while I fuck your tight pussy, mhm?” He groaned at the thought.

A thought that he’d never get to act out.

“Yes, Javi.” She moaned, leaning down on her elbows now, her back arching more as she pressed herself into him.

It was an exciting thought. 

If only they’d had more time.

She’d hate to let him go.

When he pushed into her, slowly, as if to savour every spasm of hers, every moan and whimper that spilled from her as he stretched her open, more thoughts came into his head.

He had wanted to take her for a ride to the mountains, watch the sunset with her in his jeep. Wrap his jacket around her shoulders when it would become too cold, watch her sleep on his shoulder.

The thought of waking her up again when the sun rose over Bogotá made his heart jump.

How sleepy and soft and gorgeous she would look in the golden rays.

Fucking bullshit.

Pulling her fully against him, he stopped for a moment, watching with heavy breaths as she rested her cheek against the sheets, back arched, looking back at him with a small smile.

He couldn’t do this. 

He was becoming too soft in her presence.

She was making him soft.

Took away his edges, sharp and ragged, smoothing them out.

He couldn’t leave her.

But he had to.

“Fuck, princesa.” His eyes raked over her arched back, soft eyes and squished cheek, his fingers curling into her waist, almost as if to steady himself more than hold her up. “So fucking pretty for me. Always so pretty for me, baby.”

She whined when he pulled out slowly, almost all the way until he pushed back in, his rhythm slow, so damn slow.

Trying to memorize everything about her, every single sound of hers.

It was so different than what he usually did, fucking her hard and fast from behind, leaving bruises on her ass and hips.

She didn’t know what she preferred in this moment, the slow drag of his cock inside her and his deep grunts, or the bruises she could look at and trace in a few days while he was on a plane back to the States.

That thought let tears well up in her eyes and she closed them with a whimper, turning her face to rest her forehead on the mattress.

Javier’s mind spun more fantasies, more daydreams.

Dragged out, soft moans as he fucked her lazily on the farm, taking all the time in the world because he didn’t have any frustrations to take out on her, didn’t need her tight holes to fuck and make her scream his name.

He imagined what that would be like, just existing, just fucking her because he wanted to, not because he needed to.

Loving and gentle, tangled in the sheets.

Fuck, this was getting more difficult by the minute.

He picked up his pace, pulling her harshly back against his hips, watching how her ass jiggled with the movement, how she screamed out for him, muffled in the sheets below.

“Let me hear you, hermosa.” He grit through his teeth, one hand grabbing her by her shoulder, hoisting her up so her back was flush against his chest, one arm circling her waist and coming up to grope her breast.

The change in angle made her cry out, made him fuck up and into her how he usually would.

Rough, fast thrusts, his fingers circling her clit and his teeth suddenly on her neck, crushing her against him as if he wanted to keep her.

Maybe he did.

He definitely did.

Keep her forever, wrapped in his arms, her cries of pleasure echoing off the walls as she clenched around him, as he coaxed yet another orgasm out of her.

“Stop, Ja-” His fingers pushed into her mouth, muffling her as she shook in his arms, her nerves on fire, everything hightened.

Bordering on pain.

“You can give me more, cariño.” He grunted, still driving into her, snarling. “Gotta remember how tight that pussy grips my cock, how you milk me so well.”

With his fingers pressing onto her tongue, she could only moan around them, sucking on them and trying to remember how thick they were.

How his chest felt against her back, so solid and warm, his arms secure as they held her boneless body up.

When tears sprang to her eyes again, she didn’t know if it was the overstimulation or the sadness of losing all this.

Losing him.

She hated him.

His teeth grazed over her shoulder and up her neck, then suddenly turned soft when he placed a kiss to her cheek, to her scar, moustache tickling her.

The gesture so gentle compared to how he fucked her, his nose dragging along her jaw, up behind her ear.

Taking her in.

She wanted this to last, but felt how close he was, when he fell forward with her, his entire weight pressing her into the mattress as he fucked into her still, caging her in.

Almost possessive now, impossibly close without any space between them, her moans spilling from her lips again as he took his fingers from her mouth. To keep himself up on one elbow, his other hand still underneath her.

He couldn’t leave her.

“Pretty little pussy, so eager for me, all mine.” He rambled, his voice so close to her ear as he bit her shoulder. “Want me to cum inside you, querida?”

She nodded with a whine, hands fisting the sheets, unable to do anything but take him.

Fuck, she’d feel him for days after this.

Exactly what she wanted.

“Javi, please, yes!” She moaned, his fingers now back on her clit, her hips jolting up and away from them but only working him deeper inside her. “Fill me up, wanna feel you after you’re gone.”

Delirious talk from her, the truth finally settling in, knowing she was powerless.

There was no way to keep him from leaving Colombia.

But she could try and keep him here, if only for a little while.

“Stay, Javi, stay.”

Her words were rushed, seeming like nonsense as he ripped another orgasm from her, eyes rolling to the back of her head as she tensed up beneath him.

Her sounds almost painful amidst the pleasure.

Ripping his own from him, his forehead on her shoulder as he came with a deep grunt, hips pressing against her ass.

He could swear he heard a muffled “I love you” coming from her, over and over again as she trembled below him, taking all he gave her.

For a brief moment, the image of her flooded his mind, out on the porch, belly round. Smiling at him in the Texas sun, whispering the same words against his lips that now got lost in the sheets below them.

Javier imagined himself saying them back.

No.

He couldn’t leave her behind.

Through all the restless nights and shed tears she had found the way into his heart, soft and sweet and so unlike him but with a fire and a temperament that pulled him in again and again.

Despite it all, she had become someone to him.

Someone that he didn’t want to hurt ever again.

More than someone.

His.

They stayed like this for a long time, his full weight pressing her down, without a complaint from her. His nose trailing over her skin as he placed kisses on her shoulder. 

One of his hands intertwined with hers.

Something was different tonight.

Was it really just the finality of it all, did he finally find himself just soft enough to give her one night of vulnerability?

Tears welled in her eyes as she laid there, thinking. Still absorbing the aftershocks.

Thinking about what could have been. 

Laughs shared at the bar they met in, driving around in his jeep, long conversations between cigarettes and bourbon.

And now all she would have were his bite marks, his cum inside her. 

But that would fade, and then it was only the memory of him.

The ghost of his fingers, the ghost of his lips. 

Phantoms on her skin.

Imagination.

When he pulled out of her, slowly, also as if to savour this, he groaned softly. 

As he always did, that sweet noise dear to her.

A small smile graced her lips as she just laid there, staring at the wall, hearing him light a cigarette behind her.

Probably about to leave again.

Leaving her cold and alone.

“Stay.” She murmured, stirring, pushing herself up on wobbly arms.

Tears already forming in her eyes, now that the situation was truly settling in, becoming too aware that this had been it.

Watching how he moved and laid back against her headboard, one hand reaching out to her.

That was new.

“Don’t cry, cariño.”

Her heart soared, letting him pull her close with a smile, curling against him with her head on his chest.

She could finally pretend for once that all would be well, that she would wake up in the morning, make him some toast and a coffee before he had to leave for work.

That he didn’t have to get on a plane to Texas in two days.

That he was hers as much as she found herself to be his.

“I’ll stay.”

It was almost embarrassing, the little, happy sob that left her, pulling him closer, not wanting to let go.

Finally.

It had taken him having to leave for good for him to stay just once.

This was as close to an “I love you” as she could get from him.

His hand in her hair as the cigarette smoke filled the air, seeping into the sheets, making his ghost linger just a little bit longer.

The beat of his heart in her ear, thrumming away in his chest.

She loved him.

“Thank you, Javi.” She whispered, looking up at him, watching his dark eyes.

So pretty.

So big and round, but also always just a little sad.

She took this moment to memorize it all, the curve of his nose, his full lips, the moustache draped over it. 

All the small wrinkles and grooves on his handsome face.

If only he could stay forever.

As he looked back at her, his decision had been made.

Seeing her loving gaze, shining through even beneath the hurt she felt, he couldn’t bring himself to fuck up again.

Yes, he would fuck up again and again for her, he had said so before.

But not this.

Never this.

“I’ll stay, cariño.” Javier repeated, taking a drag from his cigarette, his fingers threading through her hair.

Slow, gentle.

Like she always did with him when she had him for a few precious minutes.

Yes.

He was sure.

“I’ll stay, and in two days you’re coming with me.”

#javier peña imagine #javier peña x reader #javier peña smut #javier peña x you #javier peña #narcos #pedro pascal #fan fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fic #fics #my writing

[lokisprettygirl]

My Love is mine, All mine (18+) (CEO! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon -Modern AU)

Read Chapter 2 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 3

Summary : You wish that you weren't like this but how could you not be this way when you are married to a man like him?

Warning: 18+, smut, insecurities, mention of abuse, smoking, extreme insecurities and trust issues, mention of infertility, reader has anxiety, mention of infidelity.

Daemon looked at you for a moment as you told him that you wanted to join the NYC trip before he walked towards you.

“Are you sure love?” He asked softly so you gave him a smile that wasn't really genuine.

“I'm sure..you just came back and now leaving again..i want to be with you..i don't want to miss you” you placed your arms around his neck so he leaned down and kissed you, his lips lingered over yours for a moment and the sweet intimate gesture made you smile.

“I'll ask Sheena to arrange for your ticket”

And there went your smile.

She was his secretary and this was the basic part of her job. Marcus had the same job and so did the other secretaries before him but every time your husband mentioned her name so softly, something burned inside you. It reminded you of similar encounters with women who worked for him before and the intense emotions that had come with them. Though you knew it was part of their jobs and there was nothing more to it, you couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that came with it.

“Pack your stuff yeah? I'll have to make some calls darling” he kissed your forehead and stepped out of the bedroom with his laptop in his arm.

The flight was to leave a few hours later so you prepared your luggage, to be honest you didn't really enjoy the plane rides, they cramped your back and left you with a splitting earache. The boredom also sucked because Daemon would always work half of the time.

You were on top of his lap, with your wedding dress still on your body even though it's been two hours since he had taken you back home. You looked disheveled, Daemon had a few strange kinks and one of them was to fuck you all night long while your white dress was still on your body.

“Oh that's good darling..you look like an angel” he moaned and mumbled as you hopped up and down on him slowly.

“Mmmmhm? Mrs Targaryen is a good look on me” he smiled as you said that but then it faded slowly so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him.

“What is it dae?” you asked him as you kissed him tenderly. He could barely afford this wedding and the thought of not being able to treat you with a honeymoon was eating him up severely.

“I want to show you the world someday..i really do” you smiled as he said that. You didn't need a honeymoon or a fancy trip, as long as you had him you didn't need anything else. Money definitely made life easier but it wasn't everything for you.

“I know.. and I believe in you..you'll show me everything this world could offer” your fingers caressed his lip so he wrapped his arms around you tightly.

“Mmmm I'd never let you down babygirl..I'd never do anything that would hurt you I promise my sweet angel..thank you for choosing to be mine when you could have had anyone”

As the plane ascended, you snapped out of your thoughts to cast a quick glance his way. His casual attire - a purple long sleeved v neck shirt and black trousers- made him look so approachable that you just wanted to cuddle him, well fuck him first before you get onto that.

It frustrated you at times how much you still desired your husband, especially considering that people often claimed that such attraction wouldn't last forever. However, you knew that wasn't the case for you, he would always be the only man you'd ever want in your life and then you wondered if still felt the same way about you.

Glancing to your left, you spotted Sheena busy with her laptop, hearing the clacking of her nails against the keyboard. You knew you had never been drawn to a career like some of these high-flying women, and you often wondered if he found those traits attractive in a woman. The thought left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you question your worth all over again as a wife and a partner.

You turned to look at Daemon again and he caught your eyes this time so he smirked..

“Stop with that look”

“What look?” you let out a giggle so he looked at you, his eyes were sparkling with mischievous intensity.

“The 'I want you right now' look” he whispered quietly,

“Shut Up” he chuckled as he looked at you.

“Did you inform your boss you won't be coming?”

You squeezed your eyes as he said that. Well that wasn't really your priority at the moment.

“I'll do it when we reach”

“As a boss I'd be pissed if you were my employee leaving on a whim”

Your smile faltered as he said that, you didn't know whether he was joking or not but the statement upsetted you anyway.

“I feel as if you didn't want me to come with you” His head turned faster than a windmill as you said that,

“Are you joking? That's not what I meant-”

“Yeah whatever Daemon..I'm going to sleep”

“Baby-”

“It's okay” you unfastened your seat belt and got up to go exchange your first class seat with Sheena.

Daemon rubbed his forehead as he watched you walk away from him, it was nearly impossible for him to comfort you when you misunderstood him like this.

“Do you mind sir?” He heard Sheena's voice so he shook his head. He had to work on his presentation anyway so he decided to concentrate on that. He wanted Sheena to hear his pitch and give him her honest opinion.

“Is she asleep?” He asked his secretary a few minutes later so she looked to the side and you seemed to have your eyes closed.

“Close the blinds..she gets disrupted easily”

Your eyes teared up as he said that, he made no effort to go comfort you and on the top of it he was closing the blinds when it was just him and the secretary in there with him. You really wanted to cry in privacy so you got up and did the same.

You know very well that Daemon wasn't cheating on you and even if he was he wouldn't be doing it so brazenly while you were right there next to him but it still bothered you. So much so that you wanted to go back home and disappear to some place where you didn't have to see Sheena or every other beautiful woman he met on a daily basis. Your irrational jealousy was making you want to escape. You wanted to go back home and disappear, to run away from the intense feelings that consumed you whenever he paid attention to anyone else but you.

“You're a funny man Mr. Targaryen” Sheena giggled loudly and you heard that very well.

“Stark is a peculiar bloke, needs theatrics to be impressed” Daemon answered her so she giggled again. Okay he was not that funny Sheena you thought .

Ohh but he was, he was everything in one person while you were just you, so basic and nothing interesting to offer to a man like him.

About an hour later Daemon opened your divider and you were all bundled up on your bed so he picked you up and you woke up as soon as he had placed his arm under your head

“Sleep on me?” He mumbled softly so you hummed in response. “I'm sorry” he spoke again as he laid down with you on top of him.. and then you felt bad, this happened every time, he'd make a joke that you somehow took personally when you were drowning in your insecurities and you'd get upset like this and then he'd apologize for it which wasn't really fair to him. None of this was his fault.

“It wasn't your fault..I'm sorry”

You looked up at him so he wrapped his arms around you and tightened his grip.

“Shhhh it's okay..i love you my darling wifey”

“Love you hubby”

As you landed in NYC, you watched Sheena tailing you two so you asked her to join you both politely, until now she hadn't given you a reason to despise her, you had a god of a man and women desired him, that wasn't a crime really.

Before he left for the meeting you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him as sensually as you could.

“Getting me hard and uncomfortable when I have to pretend to be so prim and proper should be a punishable offense” he mumbled as he cupped your cheeks so you giggled in response.

“You can always punish me however you want”

“Mmmm I'll take you up on that” he kissed you one more time before he cupped your cheek “thank you for coming with me”

“I always come with you-”

“No I'm serious, I can't wait to come back to you.. I have something to look forward to now instead of coming back to an empty and cold bed” he mumbled as he squeezed your butt between his palms, a little more would have caused you both to turn off the lights and stay in this room so you pulled away from him.

“Mmm I'll wait for you”

As he was gone you were getting bored out of your mind so you decided to talk with Shelly, she was the only one who actually understood these thoughts you had in your head all the time.

“Is he extra attentive to you these days?” She asked you so you thought about it, well sex has been quite regular since he had returned from the trip but when it comes to attention he always made you feel prioritized.

“Not really..i mean he's always this way”

“Not to alarm you or anything but you know how they say that when men are tempted by someone outside of the marriage they tend to be more attentive to their spouses..it's a guilt thing..thats what Johnny did”

You sat up suddenly as she said that, you weren't even thinking about that to be honest. Now you have something to actually worry about.

About two hours laters Daemon called you and told you to meet him in the lobby as he wanted to take you and Sheena out for dinner.

“You don't mind sweetheart..do you ?” He asked you in relation to including Sheena for the dinner so you smiled, of course you mind, you wished she wasn't here at all.

“Her joining us for dinner? Ofcourse not” you mumbled softly so he leaned down to kiss your forehead. He was a good guy, a part of you knew he'd have done the same thing if it was some other woman, that's how he treated Marcus as well.

But then your mind drifted towards the part where you imagined them together if you were not here. Marcus left two weeks ago, that means that he had taken Sheena with him for the last week's trip as well, there must have been dinners and lunches together.

Perhaps they went to a local bar, had a few drinks, that's when their talks must have gotten deep and Daemon had decided to ask her about her past, she must have cried while telling him her experiences.

And then you pictured him caressing her arm to comfort her and then kissing her–

“Darling? Y/n?” He called out your name so you got back to reality..

“Yeah?”

“Are you feeling okay hmm?” He asked you as he rubbed your arm so you nodded, he had pulled a chair out for you so you sat down. Sheena also looked at you with a concerned expression on her face. Did you look crazy when you got lost in your head so often? You must.

Daemon sat down next to you and for a moment his scent and the gentle look on his face as he looked at you had calmed you down.

“Yeah.. how did the meeting go?” You asked him as you caressed his cheek lightly so he gave you a smirky smile.

“Great.. meeting again tomorrow.. hopefully the deal will get finalized”

“It will..I know it will”

“Your unwavering faith in me still astounds me”

You smiled softly as he said that, you had faith in him but not when it comes to your marriage.

Throughout the dinner Sheena barely spoke but you watched her eyes wandering.

Daemon was so easy to love and fall in love with, he had his way about himself, he attracted women of all kinds and that wasn't either of their faults, it became a problem only when those women didn't know their limits.

So for Sheena's sake you were hoping she won't make that mistake.

And for your sake you hoped Daemon won't hurt you eventually, the constant temptation on his way kept you on edge and you didn't really know how to get over it. Therapy wasn't really an option as getting therapy would confirm these fears you had, it would confirm that you had a problem.

Daemon wanted to make a few calls and discuss tomorrow's pitch with Sheena so you excused yourself and left for the room to go straight into the shower. You wondered what daemon was thinking about you joining this trip so suddenly, wondered if he had any clue of the madness rummaging through your head. As the warm water hit your skin you took a deep breath, this wasn't healthy you knew that. This was so damaging and you feared someday you'd do or say something so awful that it would push him away from you.

“You have been committing punishable offenses since last night” Daemon whispered in your ear so you gasped in surprise,

“What have I done?”

“To begin with you got upset with me then you got me so aroused before my meeting and now you are showering without me” his fingers slid down the side of your waist and as he placed his hands on your stomach you quickly grabbed it and placed it on your core for two reasons, one you really wanted him to touch you there and secondly you felt conscious of your belly sticking out after dinner. Five years of relationship and you still felt this way around him, not all the time but your insecurities were extremely heightened these days.

“You can punish me anytime”

A few minutes later he had you on the bed underneath him with his cock slipping in and out of you in a rhythm he had mastered over the years with you.

“Can I ask you a question?” You mumbled as you caressed his lips so he sucked on your thumb lightly before he hummed in response

“Do you still feel the same way about me as you did in the beginning? I mean in bed” your tone wasn't alarming, you just sounded curious so he leaned down to kiss you..

“No i feel much better now”

“mmm why so?” his eyes sparkled as you questioned him so innocently, He wondered if you would ever know how much he loved you, he didn't think he'd ever be able to completely express how he really felt about you.

“Because now I know you and your body thoroughly, in and out..i know what makes you tingle and what makes you drip on my cock and my fingers..i feel more comfortable now then I did back then because now I know that you'd always belong to me”

The next morning you decided to go swimming so you put on a swimsuit with a dungaree on top and went down as Daemon was still asleep and wasn't willing to go with you.

As you reached the pool Sheena saw you and came out of the pool, you could tell before she had a fabulous body underneath those tight business suits but watching her in that bikini was like looking at a fashion magazine, the longer you looked at her the more insecure you felt about yourself. You couldn't find a flaw in her but when you looked at yourself you saw each and everything that made you grimace.

“Mrs Targaryen. Good morning “

“Good morning Sheena..just call me by my name please” you said to her so she smiled and sat down next to you, even as she sat she barely had any far rolls sticking out of her. What was she eating you wondered.

“Sorry..it's a force of habit”

“It's okay.. have you been to NYC before?” you asked her to keep the conversation flowing so she nodded.

“Yeah I actually lived here for five years before i moved back to Edinburgh”

“Really, how old are you?”

“24 ..” you hummed as she said that, she was young and had accomplished so much more than you ever could, you got engaged when you were her age.

“Daemon told me you had good work experience in the field”

“Yeah I passed out of MIT when I was 18 so that helped..” she mumbled as if it was no big deal.

“Wow, that's amazing.. really”

“Thank you ..you're very kind”

A few minutes later you felt Daemon's hand grab your cheeks as he pushed your head up to make you look at him, he was standing right behind your poolside chair.

“One more offense is included in your punishment list..leaving me all alone in bed like that” he leaned down to whisper in your ear and you couldn't help but grin. He then sat down in front of you with his back to your chest before he passed you the sunscreen so you slid down his casual shirt past his shoulders and pressed a small kiss before you squeezed a dollop full on your palm to rub it in his skin.

You felt Sheena's eyes on you so you looked to the side and she quickly looked away.

Before stepping into the pool he asked for you to join him but you denied since you felt conscious of your body especially now in front of Sheena.

While he was swimming a minute later Sheena went into the pool again, she asked you to join but you denied again. She maintained her distance from him, they weren't even having a conversation with each other but you saw her watching him from the distance. You couldn't help but wonder if Daemon would have done something if you weren't here.

Later that evening he took you to the Stark’s celebratory party as the deal was finalized. Sheena was there too, of course she was, she was his personal secretary. This was getting exhausting for you, mentally and emotionally, it was toxic to think this way all the time, to think that the man who vowed to never hurt you or betray you would end up doing just that.

If you weren't so insecure about yourself, perhaps a relationship as loving as the one you had with Daemon wouldn't have felt so deeply terrifying. You always knew the day he'd betray the sanctity of this marriage would be the worst day of your life, something so irrevocably awful that you'd never be able to move on from that.

An hour later as you both made your way back to his room he already had a few drinks in his system and he was always in a certain mood when he was drunk like that, his inhibitions washed away as the alcohol kicked in.

In those nights he always preferred to take complete control of you, he tied you up and treated you like a filthy whore, with your consent of course. And tonight wasn't any different. He fucked you for hours in every position he could take you but there was always a sense of tenderness in his words and his movements, even when he was rough he wasn't cruel to you or your needs, you were his wife and he treated you like one, the constant whispers of his adoration for you made your heart skip beats every few minutes.

And during those moments, only for a fraction of second you found your insecurities washing away, the closer he was to you the better you felt but you knew the morning would arrive and then he wouldn't be there, he'd be at work and he'd be around her for more than half of the day.

“I'm just saying Jhonny used to be so shady when he was fucking cheating on me, all of a sudden I was getting flowers and gifts whenever he'd come home after fucking that whore”

You sighed as Shelly said that, you had just returned from the trip this morning and calling her was perhaps not something you really needed.

“No offense Shelly but Daemon is not Johnny, he would never be so cruel with me”

You mumbled confidently but deep down you knew you were lying to her, you always feared that Daemon would end up doing everything he has promised not to, that's what your dad did to your mum, that's exactly what your ex did to you, that's what men do eventually.

“And Sheena..I looked her up on Instagram..she looks like a certified maneater and daemon is following her as well so he must be seeing her thirst traps posts” she stated again, now you knew you'd sit down and stalk her to see if Daemon was interacting with her.

“Well he follows back every employee of his if they follow him first”

“Well all I'm saying is be careful and prepare for the worst, it hurts less when your mind's made up”

“Thanks ..ahhh listen i have to unpack so I'll talk to you later okay” you hung up and sat down to clear your thoughts. Talking to Shelly about this only stressed you out further, it wasn't her fault, she was speaking from her experience but her experiences only made you feel doomed.

In the afternoon you decided to go see Daemon, you shouldn't have, you knew that but you still went.

As you sat down in his cabin, you received a call from him,

“Heyyy” you mumbled softly so he sighed

“Are you okay? I'm kind of busy right now. You should have called baby..I'd have told you that” he spoke softly but his words still bothered you, your eyes teared up so you didn't even attempt to speak because if he knew that you weren't feeling so good he'd have left everything behind to come see you.

“DARLING? Are you alright?” He asked again so you cleared your throat.

“Yeah I just.. thought we could have lunch together..that's it . I'll see you tonight?”

You told him so he hummed in response.

“I'm sorry I'm just really caught up right now”

“I know i understand..I'm sorry “

“Love you” he mumbled quietly and then hung up the call, you looked behind and Sheena was standing there so she gave you a smile.

“Sorry y/n ..umm there's a meeting back to back and he asked me to look after you if you needed something.. anything”

She said to you so you gave her a fake smile.

“No thank you..it's Mrs Targaryen by the way..let's just stick to that”

You knew you were being rude to her unnecessarily and you felt worse as her smile dropped down.

“I apologize mam”

You shook your head as she said that before you walked past her to leave that place as quickly as possible.

When Daemon came home that night he kept staring at you and you eventually snapped.

“What's wrong? Talk to me..”

“About what?” You crossed your arms defensively so he sighed and took his coat off to sit down on the bed in front of you.

“Sheena told me you seemed upset” you chuckled as he said that.

“Uhuh did she tell you that I was mean to her and made her sad? Is that what she told you?”

“No..she just said that you seemed upset”

“Ohhh”

“Look I'm sorry..i was really in the middle of something”

“I know.. can we stop talking about it?” his brows furrowed as you said that, he never wanted to be upset with you but it infuriated him alot when you refused to share your worries with him like this.

“What is it with you darling?”

“Nothing I told you..”

“You know what, I'm too tired for this right now” he huffed as took his tie off.

“Yeah fine..you're always tired” you snapped back at him and his mouth opened in shock.

“What does that even mean?” He raised his voice a little so you glared at him..

“Let's just sleep okay?”

He sighed as you said that, mumbling a faint curse under his breath as he got up and went into the bathroom to shower and change for bed. This argument wasn't necessary or required at all but you were at the edge of your wits, these past few days you have been living in an absolute fear that he was going to dump you for someone like Sheena so when he came out instead of apologizing for your insensitive behavior you imposed a question that would only ruin this night for you because you knew he'd tell you the truth and you knew the truth would only bother you.

You looked him right in the eye while he was drying his hair and took a deep breath “Do you find her attractive?”

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

Taglist

@anukulee @erebus-et-eigengrau @daenny-t @123forgottherest @mcufan72 @dixie-elocin @shuichiakainx @ammo23

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon targaryen x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #daemon targaryen x reader angst #non canon au #modern day au #modern daemon targaryen

[sunbloomdew]

i can't stop thinking about the constant mentions of fall and summer in regard to baxter and mc, in the dlc.

i find the emphasis put on the seasons very interesting. unlike other potential love interests - cove and derek - baxter is not from the sunny state of california, but a town in oregon, surrounded by forests and mountains. in fact, baxter is the only character from the cast of olba that is not associated with summer, but with autumn instead, so it makes perfect sense to draw attention to that dissimilarity.

following that fact, just by acknowledging it we can see how different baxter is from other characters from sunset bird at his core. and since most of his time is spent with mc, that means the focus will be drawn to how different are these two specifically.

on a side note, this might be a complete overreach, but i consider it interesting how baxter uses the phrase 'suitor for a season' to describe himself in step 3. the use of the word 'season' in my opinion drives home the idea that their time together will inevitably come to an end, just like summer will end eventually, and there is simply no other outcome for this relationship.

when we consider the seasons theme even more, a thing that stood out to me is that summer and fall aren't opposites, like i'd say summer and winter are. they are next to each other (like california and oregon) and in some ways they intertwine. still they are different enough, to be regarded as separate seasons.

just like baxter and mc, no matter how alike, feel so different from each other, and they are aware of that.

i really love the monologue in the sightseeing moment, that mc has about them and baxter being different in that way.

"More and more, you felt as though Sunset Bird formed a vital part of your emotional core. Happiness to you was the sound of waves on the shore, the feeling of warm sand between your toes. [...] Maybe you'd forever be seeing the world through sea glass. But Baxter was another person entirely. For him, perhaps the world was monochrome, or maybe it was golden, but with color of leaves instead of sand. Talking with him made it impossible to ignore just how different your lives had been up until now. How separate your worlds were. All up until that moment, when he showed up on your street. Now your lives were intertwined, however briefly, the forests and the seafoam commingling. Though you knew his love was in the trees and the fall air, you couldn't help but feel happy that he'd wandered his way down to the shore. To you."

i find it so beautiful. everytime i read it i get a little choked up, you know? in my opinion, the summer/fall parallel is the perfect way to portray their relationship. the brainrot gets so intense every time i remember about this,,,

the same seasons theme returns in step 4 when the two reunite. to be precise, it comes back during mc's internal monologue preceding a confession. i was unable to recall if it appears somewhere else in the dialogue as well, but if you happen to find some more, feel free to reblog with this post!

"He tore himself away from you like an autumn storm bringing down a sapling/He fell away from you as naturally as a leaf fluttered off its branch in the fall. There was no holding on to your suitor for a season. Yet the affection you'd nurtured never died out. It had gone dormant for a long winter, ready to burst back to life if the cold passed. Seasons were meant to come and go, but there was no guarantee summer would come again for you and him."

(i'm pretty sure the dialogue here changes based on how you decided the break up went, cause i found two versions of the same confession monologue. still, both of them have a comparison to autumn!)

seasons can be used in art with a lot of different symbolism and meanings behind them. the cycle of the seasons is usually used to portray the passage of time, how the nature but also people change.

in this part of the monologue we see the usage of changing of the seasons to show how despite the time that passed ('winter'), mc still had feelings for baxter, that were ready to return ('spring'). the words "seasons were meant to come and go" bring our attention to how wrong things were between the two, to have something inevitable like the seasons cycle stop.

each season on its own also has its own meanings, and can be used to enhance certain themes or emotions in the text.

in case of baxter and mc, summer is the season in which they met time and time again. not only did their relationship start during summer but it developed in that season as well. as such, for them summer is inextricably a time of growth for their relationship.

outside of their relationship, individually their characters' are connected to summer and fall respectively. as mc referred to it, their emotional cores were influenced by their hometowns - one a summer tourist spot and the other a picturesque autumn town.

to bring back one more thing from mc's monologue in step 3, they wonder if baxter sees the world in gold, but in the colour of the leaves and not sand. well, i noticed, how when they make up after the wedding, the whole place is bathed in gold. you could view it as the summer gold and autumn gold merging together, as those two finally reconcile. or you could see it as a summer gold, as this season is important for their relationship. i like both options.

aside from that monologue, there are several instances of baxter's appearance being compared to things associated with autumn or nature, like descriptions of his eyes as "brown rich like the earth" (i love this one sm it lives in my head rent free) and "oak brown eyes". i think it's a great characterization to have baxter be a 'woodsy person', despite most of us (me for sure) thinking he would be a 'city boy' kind of character at first glance.

i think the reason there is such strong focus on the fact that mc and baxter embody different seasons, is to make the differences between them even more pronounced. when they ultimately reunite and overcome their struggles to mend their bonds, it's even more impressive to witness.

either way, i cannot stop thinking of summer/fall parallel and how genius i think it is. the vibes! the emotional turmoil!! the art potential!!! it's incredible. especially if you try to implement it more into your mc, which is what i'm trying to do.

i'll leave you with this screenshot, that is kinda making my stomach go funny, because of the whole summer/fall parring thing,, i am so unwell in the best of ways

because like if you think about it way too deeply which i of course had, he's saying that summer/fall combination is beautiful, like he's not saying anything besides that BUT when you remember that mc is summer and baxter is fall, then you know?????

i hope you had fun reading this spontanous post! i've been thinking about the summer/fall thing since my first playthrough, so i'm happy to finally gush about it <3

i should not be here, it's 4am and i'm leaving in three hours,,, my time management skills never fail me. toodle-oo~

#zzzzzzz mimimimimimi zzzzzzzzzz mimimimimi #i've been thinking about it for AGES #anyway idk why i wrote it right now #just kinda felt like it #but yeah summer fall parallels! #there is a song called “changing of the seasons” by two door cinema club that i think about a lot in the context of mc/baxter #i like it but it's a bit too angsty for my mc and baxter.... #it's more a song for people who didn't like baxter that much or want a more painful relationship with him lol #baxter ward #olba baxter #olba #our life beginnings & always #our life beginnings and always #sunbloom talks #gamer hours

[deaddovestellnotales]

BG3 Companions and the Abuse Cycle / Trauma - Astarion

It has been itching in my fingers to write an analysis about the main cast and their trauma (responses). As it happens, Baldurs Gate 3 stumbled into my life at the very time in which I began my trauma recovery, and as such seeing the very struggles I go through represented so well in the game, it will forever hold a dear place in my heart. Alas, enough about me, I will begin my analysis with Astarion, because his trauma (response) is the most like mine, followed by Karlach.

Astarion

From what I can gather of his background, his dialogue, and his actions, Astarion's greatest traumas stem from being controlled and sexually, as well as physically abused. Ever since he had become one of Cazador's Spawns, he had no say about his own life. He was a plaything to be messed with. His opinions did not matter, they were mocked and ridiculed. His boundaries didn't exist to Cazador, neither sexual nor moral ones. Astarion had to live feeling powerless for centuries, made to use his body as a tool for his vampiric abuser.

But that changes when he gets infected by the tadpole. For the first time in so many years, Astarion can make his own choices, can feel in control over himself and his own body. And he relishes in it!

He doesn't want to hold back anymore, he wants to experience everything that was denied to him; The rush of being your own master not being held back by moral obligations, judgments, or most importantly his very nature as a spawn, any longer, is intoxicating.

But Astarion is at the beginning of his trauma recovery journey and suffers from Cazador's bad influence still. So, Astarion doesn't know how to set proper boundaries yet, he doesn't know how to respect other's boundaries either and he enacts what his abuser did to him onto other people. He says he doesn't care about saving others, finds killing fun, and finds hurting other people entertaining if it gives him an advantage. And why? Because this is how Astarion learned to be powerful! Nobody has been kind to him for centuries, or respected a simple word like "No". It's been a big fight, his life is "kill or be killed".

His relationship with his "siblings" is also interesting in that context. He was Cazador's "favorite", reminding me of a Narcissist's golden Child. So even experiencing a healthy relationship with the other spawn was denied to him and this shows as well, as he pities them but he is willing to throw them aside if it means he will gain power (over them).

And if you let Astarion ascend and don't set a good example in his life, by simple respect of his boundaries, he will not break the cycle. He will become Cazador, he will become the abuser.

Now, in contrast, if you respect Astarion's wishes, if you don't force him to do things he doesn't want to do if you stop him from ascending, it is interesting to see his reactions.

For example, if you don't involve yourself with the Drow twins, and read between the lines, recognizing Astarion being uncomfortable, you can see the relief in his facial animation and hear it in his voice (props to the voice actor!), being glad that you are respecting his wishes. Or if you don't rat him out to the blood alchemist in Moonrise Tower (i forgot her name, sorry!), he will be surprised by someone respecting his boundaries for the first time! All those actions change him for the better, the change culminating in his final romance scene - in the case you are dating him - where he will openly state how you showed him that he has a voice even without being all-powerful and abusing others. That you changed him.

Astarion's trauma journey is about learning to set boundaries and using the freedom he has without at the same time becoming what he hates. Astarion's trauma response is fight!

And I find both of these awfully relatable.

There is honestly so much more I want to write about him, but I will save this for another post.

If you want to see where I am going with this about Karlach, await my next rambling post!.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion

[glutengoblin]

My Tears Ricochet (Sebastian Sallow X Reader)

A/N: I am drunk. Here's a Taylor-inspired fic. Enjoy :)

(P/S I may or may not be also working on something based on The Tortured Poets Department because I feel like that song is very Sebastian-coded hehe)

Warnings: Angsty Sebastian

Word Count: <1k

Sebastian stared at the ceiling of his room, taking a shaky breath. 3 am. Sleep had eluded him that night, just like all the ones before. The lack of it had begun to wear at his bones, the bags under his eyes ever prominent. He rolled onto his side, taking a deep inhale of the air around him, pressing his face into the forest green sheets.

Ominis was sleeping soundly across from him. He studied his face, trying to etch all of the details into his mind. Though Ominis had never exactly been his happiest friend, at this point, Sebastian couldn't remember the last time he had seen him smile.

Perhaps that was a lie, simply his sleepy brain sparing him of the information he could never forget when awake. It had been six hundred and forty-one days since it happened. The last time Sebastian had seen Ominis smile had been one day before.

Eventually, Sebastian's eyes moved on, tracing the light that danced on the ceiling. The water outside of his Slytherin dorm gave it an almost hypnotic quality. Sebastian started at it, trying to rid his mind of the thoughts that were beginning to sink in once again

Y/N. Her face, splattered in tears in the undercroft. Her voice. Blaming him for everything that had happened. He had gone too far this time, he had disappointed her, she didn't know how she could trust him any more. She wished he had stayed. She wished he had just stayed home.

Him, screaming back at her, tears streaming down his face. Anne had already left him. She would never forgive him. Hadn't that been enough? He was remorseful- the artifact had made him do it. He didn't know what had came over him. He did it because Solomon had fired back. He did it because he was scared. He did it because he wanted to protect her.

But, it didn't matter why he did it. She still stormed out, cursing his name as she left and slamming the door.

He stood there all alone, his head falling towards his chess. He had actually done it. He had lost everyone. Not in the way he once feared, but in a way almost worse. Worse than death, honestly. You also existed, just outside his periphery, like shadows dancing across his vision. A hero, flying around to save her grace. Anne, Solomon, Ominis… even you had left him. And he knew he deserved it. He loved her

Sebastian startled a bit as the clock hit 3:27 AM. It was then he decided sleep probably wouldn't reach him again. Standing up slowly, he put his slippers on and made his way out of the room. He had already caused Ominis enough pain in the past few years. The least he could do was try to be a considerate roommate, so he shut the door as gently as he could.

His feet guided him out of the common room and through the castle. The thought that he would soon have to leave its walls forever scared him. He no longer had a place to call home besides Hogwarts - Feldcroft was too far removed from his life. More so, he had begun to realize that he no longer had anyone to call home. All of the important people in his life had left.

Eventually his steps found him on the grounds, trying to take in the air that was showing the signs of spring. To his surprise, a figure stood out on the lawn, outlined by moonlight. There was a crisp chill in the air still. Enough to make any normal person stay inside.

But Sebastian knew she wasn't normal. He had known from the first day he had laid eyes on her - and he wasn't just thinking about your ancient magic. She had treated him with kindness when everyone else in the school thought he was off his rocker- including Ominis. She had indulged his reckless research, followed him to her potential demise, even let him cast an unforgivable on her. Perhaps the fact that Y/N hadn’t tossed him in Azkaban should have been a sign to him enough that she still cared for him in her own way. It should have been enough. He should have been thankful. But Sebastian had to admit, it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough to be so close to her, yet so far away.

He considered his options and took a cautious step forward. With graduation inching ever near, he figured this might be his last chance to say what he really wanted to her. He continued, until he stood next to her, their breaths matching in quiet synchrony. His gaze traveled up to the stars where her gaze was fixed. They stood in quiet compellation for a few moments before she broke the silence.

“ I’ve missed you.”

#sebastian sallow x reader #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #Sebastian sallow x reader fanfic #Sebastian sallow x you #Sebastian sallow angst

[frecklystars]

im gonna start making doodles trying to reclaim my TF F/Os that i've lost, maybe once a week or once every two weeks... or once a month?? i dont know, i will try to keep some consistency but i really need to start slow on this. here's to hoping that drawing them every once in a while will make even just the smallest difference.

im so sick of associating these characters with my abuser and i'm so sick of the immediate fight or flight response that i get when just looking at pictures of TF characters or even the voice actors. i have tried just about everything... therapy, medication, exercise, watching a few clips from the shows, buying cameos, commissioning art/fics, talking to voice actors in person at conventions... nothing has helped me get better at all. i tried giving up on TF entirely, throwing out/giving away all of my TF merch, refusing to touch the franchise, but that has only made me more and more miserable as time has passed. it has been over a year since [insert the most horrific experiences ever here] happened to me and since i associated that with a long list of things, TF included. and im! sick! of feeling bad! so! if im gonna be miserable no matter what, then i might as well try to get better, right?? drawing my F/Os loving me has never failed me before, so here's to hoping it isn't gonna fail me now. i am quite the stubborn bitch and i refuse to allow my main coping mechanism i've used for 2 decades to remain tainted forever and ever 😤😤

these will be the shakiest, shittiest doodles imaginable, but i think drawing the robots i miss so much at least once a month can help me rewire my brain into believing they're safe again and they love me and i'm not in danger. i think the best thing that will help me is drawing my Ryan F/Os interacting with them as "proof" that they're safe to be around, that they've "approved of" them, will help me slowly reclaim them. fake it til you make it as they say. let's try this for maybe just a couple of months as a slow start and see how it goes :/

any TF doodles will be tagged as "reclaiming robots tag" and nothing else - free to blacklist it if you dont wanna see. i'll most likely be rarely posting these but jic //shrug

anyway. yay. attempts number one and two. i like to think barbie and ken stop by the starflower meadow every now and then because stsc summons them across the multiverse, asking them how i'm doing, if i'm safe, if i miss him at all. wow i am shaking so bad. ha ha haaa. these took about ten?? minutes?? so woohoo to ten minutes of drawing TF. im proud of myself for trying. even if i dont go through with this and end up not being able to draw TF ever again, at least i managed this one single post. if i keep this up, maybe a year from now, or two years or five years or whatever, i'll be able to handle it. i don't even expect to hyperfixate on TF ever again because my self shipping will never ever be the same w/ them -- i'll never interact with the fandom again, i'll never reblog fanart or gifsets or anything like that ever again, if i even somehow managed to feel good enough to actually throw myself back into the shows -- but i want to think i'll feel indifferent to it one day. to not have that fight or flight response. that is my goal. literally the bare fucking minimum <3

anyway. i'm super nauseous. this is so incredibly hard! holy shit!!! but that's why i have to do this. to quote pedro pascal, i am going to have a panic attack and i am going to leave 👍✨

(BTW I am still gonna stay offline for a few more days. I am back from vacation but I am SO burnt out I don't want to interact with dms/my inbox yet. I just wanted to post this just to get it out of my system and let it disappear into the void. But I will be back later this week bc I still have some commissions to finish and I wanna gush about my very exciting time meeting steve/tom/the brba cast. anyway... goodnight. i love you. smooch)

#reclaiming robots tag

[inbarfink]

Some shows have a Problem of ending an episode with what seems like a Big Huge Shift to the Status Quo... which doesn’t actually pan out meaningfully in later episodes. Like, an episode would end on a note of 'oh shit, Everything is Different Now!' but in retrospect... no, nothing has really changed.

‘Adventure Time’... kinda had the tendency to do the opposite. Episodes that seem to end up with a snapback to the Status Quo, but when you look at them in retrospect, you can see how they did end up seriously changing the trajectories of characters and their worlds.

Like, ‘Too Young’ seemed like just a way to pull the reset button on the whole 'Little Bubblegum' thing and bring us back to the pre S2 Finale Status Quo - but it also introduced one of the show’s most important supporting characters and a bunch of lore that ended up being very important later, and in retrospect, it was a huge turning point in the Finn-Peebles dynamic. Same with ‘Jake the Dad’. Jake might be back at the treehouse, but seeing the Pups leaving the nest so quickly had subtly shifted Jake’s character for the remainder of the show, and they remained an important component of the extended cast and… like, actually defined the fate of the world 1000 years into the future.

“When Wedding Bells Thaw” literally ends with Finn going “and now everything’s back to normal!” but that’s also the episode that started the shift on Ice King from ‘Villain Who’s Kinda Pathetic’ to ‘Awkward Friend That Occasionally Does Something Really Fucked Up”.

And speaking of Ice King, there’s also ‘The Party's Over, Isla de Señorita’.

Because after going through this whole journey of friendship with Island Lady, and getting to be legit heroic for a change, Ice King decides to ‘break up’ with Princess Bubblegum

Only for the ending to kinda casually implicitly ‘walk it back’. Haha, it's just a little ending joke, nothing's really changed!

Or did it?

Because Ice King’s tendency to kidnap Princesses has been actually decreasing drastically since, well, pretty much since Season 3 started. Like, okay, so I took the list of 'Major Appearances' by Ice King/Simon from the AT Wiki and marked here every episode that features Ice King kidnapping a Princess

Ever since Ice King truly started seeing Finn and Jake as his friends and clinging to them as a Source of Companionship, he’s been less and less obsessed with princesses and the kidnapping therefore. But ‘The Party’s Over’ still feels like a tipping point, the Official Stopped Kidnapping Princesses Point.

The only exceptions after that are ‘Betty’

Which I think might have been a momentary relapse due to, you know, Simon literally just reuniting with Betty and supposedly losing her all over again and these feelings lingering within Ice King. Plus, unlike his previous kidnapping, this one doesn't actually seems to be actively romantically motivated (considering he spends all that time talking about ‘the woman of his dreams’) - I think he just wanted someone to talk to.

And ‘Elemental’, where he was only doing it for Patience St. Pim.

And the episode even emphasizes that he hasn’t done something like this for a very long time, even if his casual attitude kinda implies that he himself doesn’t fully realize why.

‘Friends Forever’ even has a gag about Ice King keeping that Animated “Fionna and Cake” book from ‘Mystery Dungeon’, and the book’s room is the old Princess Kidnapping Cage. Further emphasizing the idea that he’s not using it to keep Princesses anymore.

So, even though ‘the Party’s Over’ kinda played it off as a joke that’s not going to change anything… It seems like the adventure with Island Lady DID have a really significant impact on Ice King, even if he himself doesn't totally realize it.

#adventure time #atimers #at #adventure time analysis #ice king #the ice king #at ice king #adventure time ice king #ice king adventure time #island lady #lady island #simon petrikov #at simon #simon adventure time #simon at #adventure time simon

[neontokyoo]

Hi! May I request some kunikida x reader angst? Where reader is the other woman? To make it easier, imagine reader fits not all of his ideals as a partner and then a new girl shows up at the agency and everyone's attention is on her, everyone is making plans to hang out with her and kunikida is enamored with her and has his attention on her. And to make matters worse? She fits all of his ideals. He slowly starts making plans with her but everything reader and kunikida used to do? (Ex. Go on dates, hang out with each other and just spending time together) is no longer happening. And then one day, he comes home late and when he gets home he drops the bomb and breaks up with reader. Then, not even a week later he gets together with the new girl. It makes reader think they were never good enough so they just keeps to themselves after that.

Not only did reader lose their friends that they considered family, they also lost their one and only. So, ever since that they just hates anything related to couples and what not. Hell, they even hate love itself. So they end up working for the port mafia instead. And they also went from a nice, loving person to a mean, cold person?

Man why do I love breaking my own heart 😭💀 gn neutral reader please if that's possible. Sorry if this is too detailed and what not, I just wanted to make sure you understand and see my vision to be able to make this 🧍

Have a good day/night! 🫶

Man, screw the ideals. My heart broke just reading this and it's giving me the twisted Disney princess/Descendants 3 vibes where the protagonist somehow becomes the antagonist. Also really reminds me of my ex. Seriously making me wanna burn every single notebook that I own. 😭🤧

Pairing: Kunikida Doppo x GN!Reader Genre: Angst Summary: It's all fun and games until you become "the other woman".

The sun had set, casting its warm glow over the agency, but the once vibrant atmosphere felt tainted with unease. You and Kunikida had shared two years of cherished memories, laughter, and passion, but a new presence disrupted the delicate balance. Akiara Ishikawa, with her enchanting presence and seemingly perfect allure, had captivated not only the attention of the agency members but, more notably, Kunikida's heart.

As days turned into weeks, you tried your best to maintain composure while the weight of insecurity gnawed at your soul. Each time you caught Kunikida exchanging glances with Akiara, a pang of jealousy tore through your chest. You wanted to be everything he desired, but reality dealt you a hand that fell just shy of perfection in his eyes.

One evening, you stood together in the dimly lit living room, the air thick with tension. The flickering candlelight cast haunting shadows upon the walls as Kunikida struggled to find the right words. "We need to talk," he finally said, his voice strained.

Your heart clenched at the premonition of his words. "What's wrong, Kunikida?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitated, the internal conflict evident in his expressive eyes. "I can't ignore how I feel, and it's not fair to you," he confessed. "Akiara, she's everything I've ever dreamed of in a partner. I can't help but be drawn to her."

The admission hit you like a crushing blow. Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, but you fought to maintain your composure. "So, what are you saying?" you managed to ask, your voice quivering.

"I'm saying… I think we should end things between us," Kunikida said, his gaze dropping to the floor. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't deny this connection I feel with Akiara."

It felt as if the world had crumbled beneath your feet, leaving you standing on a precipice of heartbreak. "But, Kunikida, we've shared so much together," you pleaded, trying to salvage the love you believed was still worth fighting for.

His expression softened, and he reached out to touch your cheek gently. "I know, and I'll cherish those memories forever. But sometimes, love isn't enough," he whispered, his voice laden with regret.

Days passed like a blur as you tried to navigate life without Kunikida by your side. You distanced yourself from the agency, unable to bear the sight of him with Akiara. The pain of losing not only your love but also your best friend left you feeling hollow and isolated.

Seeking refuge in the port mafia, you buried your emotions deep within, embracing the darkness that now consumed your heart. The kind, loving person you once were retreated behind a cold and distant facade.

With time, your heart hardened, bitterness taking root against love and the notion of couples. You buried yourself in work, dedicating your energy to the darkness that now surrounded you. Yet, deep down, a small part of you longed for the happiness you once knew, wondering if love could ever heal the fractures within your heart.

But for now, you remained guarded, keeping your emotions under lock and key, afraid of the pain that came with vulnerability. As you treaded through the shadows of your new world, you couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be a chance for your heart to mend and love again.

#I don't love nobody #i'm dead inside #that's a lie #but sometimes it do be like that #bungo stray dogs manga #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou sd #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #kunikida doppo #bsd kunikida #kunikidazai #kunikida x reader #armed detective agency #kora's anons

[barrenclan]

I think catabolic seed by the scary jokes is very slugpelt, maybe about her life in general?

Yeah, I think so! I like the themes in this song about trying to take control of your life by reaching out to other people, but getting denied. That's very Slugpelt.

Also, check out this awesome PMV with Catabolic Seed, which I just have to show off cause I love it so much.

"But is bad luck really such a crime? If you won't be my valentine, could you at least give me a little bit of sympathy?"

"I don't care if I'm losing myself in the garden of earthly delights I could drop dead right where I stand, and I wouldn't mind"

You guys always find such interesting songs. I like this one. It's definitely got good Rainhaze energy.

"even through the pain animals cannot change dance with the skeletons and float away"

"eat and then die all your siblings cast aside too"

"see with new eyes a world ready to despise you"

No, no one's recommended this Hannibal fansong yet. But nice call for Ranger talking to Rainhaze!

"So look in the mirror And tell me, who do you see? Is it still you? Or is it me?"

"Do you feel the hunger Does it howl inside? Does it terrify you? Or do you feel alive?"

That's a good classic ask, back from the beginning of the blog. Never forget Christmas music Daff.

"Underground, boxed and glum Left you there for rot All my fears are overgrown Will someone burn this grove?"

"Welcome home! It's been a while Do you miss your head? With your tattered clothes and your bloody nose?"

I LOVE Vulture Culture! That song is great. I've been wanting to do a version of its animation meme for years now with a fandom I'm in. Maybe someday.

It can be a Rainhaze song and a Defiance song. They're so interlinked now, right?

"We live and die in a vulture culture We crucify anyone we hunger Gemini and a broken brother We live and die, my friend"

"Well, I guess I made my bed Now I gotta lie in it Like a suicidal kiss I got a guilty conscience"

BarrenClan is a cursed land!...

"The curse ruled from the underground, down by the shore And their hope grew with a hunger to live unlike before"

"If they called on every soul in the land, on the moon Only then would they know a blessing in disguise"

Asphodelpaw's themesong is a MARINA song, so you're already halfway there! I also agree with you about the idea of Asphodel feeling like she has to put on a strong front and pretend like she doesn't have any genuine feelings.

"It's okay to say you've got a weak spot You don't always have to be on top Better to be hated Than loved loved loved for what your not"

"You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable You are not a robot You're lovable, so lovable But you're just troubled"

What a wonderful title for a song. I also love mashing my OCs into any vaguely related song to them.

"I bid the sunshine adieu! In 1872 When the girl that I liked Made me a creature of the night"

"On the shortest night of the year I told him he’d nothing to fear As I bit his throat and crooned as he choked “Together forever my dear”

I'm certain this song has been suggested before, but that's only because any song from The Crane Wives discography could fit into PATFW.

"He taught me that the hand that feeds Deserves to be bitten when it beats He taught me how to break my chains And that money ain't worth a thing"

"Reminding me how little I have But as for time, as for time It's mine, it's mine"

Poor Pinepaw! He really does know too much, often envious of who he used to be.

...yeah, that's going on the playlist.

"Everything here is built on bones

Everything everything everything

And men will do as they’re foretold

Everything everything everything

Visions you don’t want to see

Everything everything everything

Hide your face from prophecy"

If I'm being real - since this song is so desert-themed, it's giving much bigger Saltburn's Clan energy, especially with the line about "mountain cats". (Blasting beams into the 3 people who read this's head to go read SBC at @nanistar)

If you want my opinion, I would say Slugpelt.

"So, if I can wait five more In this shape that I abhor I'll sleep with an open door Knowing you haven't touched a cell on my body"

"Now, my love carries the task Of handling the aftermath Can you smooth the looping lines Of fingerprints before your time?"

Lol I ran out of video embeds

#ask #music #rainhaze #ranger #slugpelt

[funkii4-blog]

I got thinking about everything we know about this next fairytale-themed Puzzlevision show so far and I realized

What if it’s like that one scene from Ever After High.

In the scene I’m talking about Apple’s fallen into a forever sleep because of a spell and everyone thinks it’ll be Daring that wakes her up because they’re together, but when Daring tries to wake her up with true love’s kiss it fails

However, when Darling sees that Apple is still breathing and there’s still hope she moves in and does a sort of CPR move on her, and the spell counted it as a kiss and it woke Apple up. Additionally the writers later confirmed that they were in fact canon and Darling was Apple’s true love.

So what I’m saying in this scenario; the scene where 3 ends up asleep under a spell, Luigi will think he’s the destined one & try to awaken him and fail, and then 4, assuming he’s the one that casts the spell since he’s the witch, feels regret for casting it and tries himself to awaken 3, and it works, indirectly sorta confirming 4 is 3’s true love.

(this is just a wild guess but hear me out lol)

#I’m manifesting so hard rn #smg4 #smg34 #puzzlevision #ever after high #…well sorta

[theographos]

Why Aliens feels off in Tales of Arcadia

Don't get me wrong, I really like Aja, Krel and Varvatos. I even think that 3Below was quite good, even if i'm not a sci-fi fan at all (i even managed to fall asleep in front of every Star Wars ever, and not with any other movie). But good doesn't mean good in terms of storytelling. Because after all 3Below is set in the Tales of Arcadia franchise, and let's just say they don't 100% fit in it.

So why is that ?

1. Trollhunters is based on a book, and the book doesn't contain any aliens.

Well from what I have researched the book doesn't contain any trace of wizards too. I will also add that I haven't read the original book, I just made some researches about its content on the internet.

For those who don't know, Trollhunters : Tales of Arcadia is a loose adaptation of a book written by Guillermo Del Toro and Daniel Kraus, called Trollhunters. It's an adaptation similar to How to Train Your Dragon : The characters are present, the surnatural/fantasy aspect of the book is also present but everything else is changed. I even saw that Steve dies in the book, so glad they didn't take that route.

And i'm not part of the people who screams and cry everytime there is any changes from a book to a movie, To be deeply honest with you all I studied Cinema and English litterature in highschool and my final projet for those two subjects was to talk about how some changes in book adaptations are a good idea.

But it just shows that writer did not have any basic material for it. They had to create it all from scraps, and I feel like the first season of Trollhunters was already out when they thought of aliens, so they decided to connect it howerver they could. Which leads us to our second point.

2. Aliens don't really have any deep connections with humans, trolls or wizards.

Wizards and trolls fought against Gumm gumms, wizards have created many magical relics that Trolls uses, and as we saw with Hisirdoux wizards have an habit of dealing with trolls species. The interactions are already present, they have a deep history between them, shares problems and common knowledge.

Aliens apparently shook hands long time ago on Earth and were gone for the rest of the time, so except an old memory forgotten by almost everyone, they don't really have a pre existing history tying them to the different races in the story.

Trolls and wizards are based on things we already know off. I mean we have countless myths and legends about them already, but there is a bit more to that.

Horseshoe are items to uncover if someone is a changeling, trolls love to eat socks, which ties into the forever myth of "why am I always missing a sock", you think that racoons made your trashcan fall but it could have been gobelins, is that a black cat or just a small dragon etc. You really have the aspect that you interact with the "underworld" on a day to day basis without being actually aware of, and that goes deeper than just "oh this random person is just a troll in disguise".

Aliens don't really have that, like no one except the army used alien technology before 3Below, and still it was in secret so we can't really copy that to our everyday life as easily as the previous examples that I made.

Earth is about Trolls, humans, demi-gods and wizards. And it also happened to have aliens once in a while, but nothing much about it. And that leads us to our last point.

3. The plot has no space for Aliens.

Since the whole story is about earth and the fate of earth, we don't really have space for Aliens in the plot (no puns intended). We can literally see that with the 3Below plot : gumm gumms are something completly unrelated to the plot, it just happens in the back while the main plot is happening. 3Below is more of a spin-off or a "What If?" kind of show than a continuation of the main plot.

3Below is an interlude, an easter egg for the fans. You barely see the main cast, the main cast barely acknowledge the presence of the trio in their own show.

See I wouldn't be criticizing it if it was considered as such in the franchise. A side-story that doesn't impact the plot, but for fan service it will appear in the final movie so that everyone has their conclusion.

But it's not the case, it is seen as an important part of the story by the studio. It has never been advertised as something else than an active part of Tales of Arcadia.

If they truly wanted something about aliens, it should have been as a side story, a spin off.

But as a major part of the franchise, it doesn't deserve its spot and you can feel it.

#tales of arcadia : trollhunters #tales of arcadia trollhunters #rise of the titans #3below tales of arcadia #tales of arcadia wizards #tales of arcadia #tales of arcadia : rise of the titans #wizards #trollhunters #tales of arcadia : 3below #tales of arcadia : wizards #tales of arcadia 3below #wizards tales of arcadia #rise of the titans tales of arcadia #tales of arcadia rise of the titans #trollhunters tales of arcadia #aja tarron #krel tarron #varvatos vex #trollhunters critical #3below critical

[oreo102]

Please I'm so so curious to hear your thoughts on 10/14

Ok so my thoughts on 10 are less than 14 so let’s start with him lol. I have not watched 10, so my hatred of him is more hatred by proxy of how the fandom treats him and proxy of 14, but I still do have a few specific thoughts and this will be long and definitely rambly

A) when talking about him I usually refer to him as Fandom’s Favorite White Boy or Pathetic Wet Cat/Twink mostly because it’s funny but for now I’ll use 10. The most I know about 10 is that he is angsty and in love with rose and besties with Donna… also that he’s pathetic but that’s more vibes

So- my hate of 10 is less tangible than 14 but i still have a few points, the main one being the way i see ppl talk about how he treated Martha and how obsessed with rose he was. I don’t think it’s ever compelling to have someone’s main personality trait be loving someone a whole lot which also honestly is my problem with rose (don’t hate her but don’t care about her)

From what I have seen and heard of 10 it’s rather… boring, honestly? Like it’s mostly clips out of context but for 13 and 15 I saw clips out of context and was like “ok wth is happening? /pos” with 10 it’s more like “wtf?” Also pretty sure his episodes were some of the ones I saw when my parents had the show on that played a part in me swearing the show off so

Ok onto the more tangible hatred of 14. A lot of this, admittedly, is more about the writing and showrunner decisions than 14 but those things by proxy makes me hate him

So- I have a lot of feelings on him quite literally starting from his first appearance in power of the doctor. I am SO PETTY that he doesn’t wear 13’s silly little outfit. Like I have gone on full rants about that fact to my friends and family

I’ve seen something claim that rtd didn’t want 14 to wear her outfit because people might be transphobic and derogatory towards him (even tho Dhawan!master wore it, and it’s pretty gender neutral) but then did nothing about the shit ppl said about ruby’s actor or about ppl who would be a bitch about rose the second being nonbinary(also i remember seeing a post about their deadname being mentioned in an episode? Not totally sure that’s true tho)

The 60th anniversary specials themselves don’t really celebrate Dr who as a whole as much as 10’s run with a few old villains but that’s not really my main issue with that. My main issue with the specials is that the Doctor gets their happy ending. With Donna. And her family. When fucking 3-4 episodes prior, their happy ending would’ve been yaz. It would’ve been staying with yaz. But nope! Donna! Because that’s what 10 would’ve wanted.

And I don’t want 14 to be with yaz, btw, I mean I want them to meet and for yaz to hit him, but I don’t want them to be a thing or like be together because I believe yaz is a lesbian but that’s not the point of this so moving on

I also have very much big issues with the scene where 15 and 14 are (presumably, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the full scene) talking about women they love and mention who I assume to be River and rose but not yaz, who again, they wanted to spend forever with 3-4 episodes prior. It makes the doctor seem like a douchebag even if it’s a writing issue and not a character issue

Also 14 being David tenant overshadows 13’s departure and 15’s arrival and since he is most likely going to show up at least a little bit in s14 he’ll overshadow 15 in his own series. It’s icky at the very least.

There’s something inherently bad about having the fandoms Favorite White Boy be with a contentious casting decision (because I have no faith in the Dr who fandom not to be bigoted) and even if no one has an issue with 15 being black and maybe gay (is he gay? He gives gay vibes) it’s still setting him up for failure by pairing him with 14

Also bigeneration is so fucking dumb and I hate it

Also also stop giving the Dr 19 year old companions it’s getting kinda weird now

#doctor who #new who #13th doctor #thirteenth doctor #thasmin #15th doctor #my ramblings #14th doctor #fifteenth doctkr #yasmin khan #fourteenth doctor #10th doctor #tenth doctor #ruby sunday #donna noble #anti rtd #david tennant #obligatory I don’t hate him #just his characters #this is long #I’m not sorry for any of this

[stargirlaveblog]

7Seals

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Chapter 16*

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•Previous Chapter: Chapter Fifteen

•Next Chapter: Chapter Seventeen

•Chapter List

•New chapters every Thursday. Next update 3/21/24

•Content: Levi Ackerman × OC female. Slow Burn! Canon verse!

•Word Count: 4.4k

•Warning: This content may not be suitable for all readers. If you've watched all of AOT then you will understand that the show handles heavy subjects such as abuse, racism, violence, and other heavy subjects. This fanfiction will also have the same heavy themes. Chapters with heavy themes will be marked with (*) at each chapter. This chapter does contain themes of death. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable with that topic.

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Gassed  - Bobby Krlic (Midsommar Soundtrack)

0:00 ━❍────── 4:29

↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺

VOLUME: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

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As we gathered around the opulent dining table, the weight of memories pressed down upon me like a suffocating blanket. The clinking of silverware and the murmur of conversation faded into the background as I drifted further into the recesses of my mind.

The portraits adorning the walls seemed to leer at me, their frozen smiles mocking my pain. Each stroke of the brush captured a moment in time, a fragment of a life that no longer existed. My mother's face, forever preserved in oils, gazed down at me with an expression of warmth and love that felt like a cruel mockery of my current reality.

As we sat in the grand dining room, surrounded by the solemn gazes of the portraits, I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. My likeness, frozen in time, stared back at me from its gilt frame, a silent testament to the innocence I had lost.

The girl in the painting seemed to mock me, her carefree smile was long gone. She was a relic of a bygone era, a reminder of the girl I would never be again. Her eyes held a spark of vitality that had long since faded from my own, a painful reminder of all that I had lost.

I couldn't bear to meet her gaze, couldn't bear to confront the stark reality of who I had become. In her eyes, I saw all the hopes and dreams that had been shattered by tragedy and loss. She was a ghost of my past, haunting me with memories of a life that could never be reclaimed.

As the conversation flowed around me, I felt myself sinking deeper into despair. Levi's voice, usually a source of strength and reassurance, was nothing more than background noise, his presence a distant echo in the cavernous room. Hange's laughter grated on my nerves, a sharp reminder of the carefree spirit I had once possessed.

I pushed my food around my plate, the taste of each morsel turning to ash in my mouth. The weight of my past hung heavy upon my shoulders, threatening to crush me beneath its burden. How could I face the future when the past loomed so large, casting a shadow that stretched back through the years?

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"Iris?" Her soft tones drifted from the hallway, gentle and reassuring.

I couldn't find the strength to respond, my heart heavy with sorrow and my eyes swollen with tears. I felt her presence draw near, her touch a soothing balm against the ache in my soul.

Her hand found its way to my back, tracing small circles that sent shivers down my spine. With a sigh, I leaned into her touch, grateful for the comfort she offered.

"You're worried, aren't you?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, filled with understanding and empathy.

"Worried doesn't even begin to cover it," I admitted, my voice choked with emotion.

"I know, and I'm sorry," she murmured, her words a gentle reminder of the sacrifices we had made for love. "But this was the only way to ensure his safety above ground. After his contract is up, he will be a free man."

"But what if he doesn't make it into the top ten?" I sobbed, the weight of uncertainty crushing me beneath its relentless force.

"I assure you, he will make the top ten," she insisted, her voice laced with determination. My mother was not one to make empty promises; she knew things that I could only imagine.

"Iris, please. Look at me," she implored, lifting my chin to meet her gaze. "Dry up those tears. Tonight is your last night with him before he leaves. Don't waste it on sorrow. Go and cherish every moment you have together."

I stared into her jade eyes, the warmth of her love washing over me like a gentle breeze. With a deep breath, I wiped away my tears, determined to make the most of the time we had left.

"Okay," I whispered, a flicker of hope igniting within me once more.

"Good," she said, rising from her seat and smoothing down her black dress. "Your father has requested my presence at the church tonight, so we won't be back until later."

"I love you, Iris."

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As Ivy's voice pierced through the haze of my daydream, I found myself swirling my glass of wine absentmindedly, the crimson liquid dancing in intricate patterns. Taking a sip, I let the rich taste wash over me, a fleeting distraction from the chaos unfolding at the dinner table.

There she was, Ivy, seated next to Levi, her infatuation palpable in every word she uttered. My father seemed thoroughly entertained by her antics, indulging her with amused chuckles while completely ignoring my presence. But then again, I hadn't exactly been the life of the party, choosing to drown in silence instead.

"So, Captain Levi, what made you choose my daughter for your squad?" My father's voice cut through the air, his gaze piercing through me with thinly veiled disapproval as I raised my glass to my lips once more.

"Erwin placed her with me," Levi's voice, a rare disruption in the symphony of chatter, broke through the tension at the table.

"So the rumors aren't true? You didn't handpick your squad members?" My father pressed further, his curiosity tinged with skepticism.

"No, I did," Levi asserted, his tone firm and unwavering.

As the conversation continued to ebb and flow around me, I couldn't help but feel a pang of irritation at the way Ivy hung onto his every word, her eyes sparkling with admiration, while my father seemed almost skeptical of Levi.

"So if given the choice, would you have chosen my daughter for your squad?" My father's inquiry hung heavy in the air, casting a shadow over the dinner table. His scrutiny was like a weight on my shoulders, pressing down with every passing moment.

I swirled the wine in my glass, its crimson hues dancing under the soft glow of the dining room chandelier. My father's questioning always had a way of making me feel like a child again, unsure and unsteady under his watchful eye. His doubts were no secret, his skepticism regarding my place in the Scouts was a constant source of tension between us.

"I would have still chosen your daughter if it was my choice," Levi spoke out, his voice softer than usual but only Hange and I would recognize the difference. To my family, he remained apathetic, his demeanor unwavering in the face of my father's interrogation.

I glanced up from my glass to meet Levi's gaze, finding a flicker of something unfamiliar in his steely eyes. It was a rare moment of vulnerability, a crack in his usual facade that only I seemed to notice.

"As a father, I was worried when I found out my eldest daughter joined the Scouts," my father admitted, his voice tinged with a mix of pride. "But knowing she's under your command, I have a good feeling she will be alright."

"She's fine on her own." His response was blunt and short as ever.

"If she truly was, then she'd be a captain already, not--" My father's voice grated on my nerves, but I wasn't about to let him finish that sentence unchallenged.

"I've had plenty of chances to be a captain. I just prefer being his right hand," I retorted, my tone dripping with defiance. It was like they were talking around me as if I were some puppet on strings instead of a soldier capable of making her own decisions.

My father's disapproving scoff only fueled my irritation.

"You passed up a captaincy just to keep playing second fiddle to him? You haven't changed a bit."

With a resigned sigh, my father stood up, signaling the end of dinner.

"Well, it's been lovely, but duty calls. Make yourselves at home. Elenor will show you to your rooms."

As he left the room, I resisted the urge to hurl my wine glass after him. It was just like him to avoid a confrontation, to walk away when things got uncomfortable.

Left at the table, I reached for the wine bottle, pouring myself a generous serving. The ruby liquid swirled in the glass, a comforting sight amidst the chaos of my family dinner.

When I glanced up, I found Levi's gaze already fixed on me, his eyes betraying a hint of amusement. I couldn't help but smirk back at him, raising my glass in a silent toast. His disapproving shake of the head only made me grin wider.

"You need to eat," Levi's voice broke through the heavy silence that had settled over the table.

"I'm not hungry," I retorted, parroting back all the times he'd refused food I'd offered him.

"Don't make me come over there," he warned.

I rolled my eyes, stabbing at my mashed potatoes with more force than necessary and shoveling a forkful into my mouth.

"Happy?" I mumbled with a full mouth.

"Ecstatic," he deadpanned.

Meanwhile, Hange was practically drooling over the food.

"Iris, you mind if I finish that?" they asked eagerly, reaching for the remnants of my meal.

"Is that even a question? Here," I replied, pushing the plate toward them with a smirk.

As Hange gobbled up the last of my food, their attention turned to the portraits lining the walls of the dining room.

"These are beautiful. How old were you guys when these were painted?" they asked, their mouths still half-full.

"Iris was fifteen, I was thirteen. It was a gift from our grandfather," Ivy answered, her gaze lingering on the paintings with a hint of nostalgia.

"Hmm, Iris, you look so innocent in yours," Hange observed, scrutinizing the portrait closely. "Wait, is that a paintbrush and canvas next to you?"

I sighed, knowing where this was going. "Yeah, good observation," I muttered sarcastically.

"Do you paint?" Hange inquired, genuinely curious.

"Obviously," Levi interjected, his tone dripping with sarcasm as he rose from his seat and made his exit.

"How did you not even know? You were roommates for a good five years."

With Levi gone, it was just Hange, my sister, and my left in the dining room. As Hange continued to pepper me with questions about my artistic endeavors, I couldn't help but feel a pang of annoyance at Levi's abrupt departure. But then again, that was just Levi being Levi.

"You know, Iris," Ivy began, her voice laced with a honeyed sweetness that made my skin crawl.

"I've always admired Captain Levi's...strength."

But Ivy wasn't finished. With a coy smile, she leaned closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.

"I must admit, Iris, I never realized how handsome Captain Levi was until now. It's nice to finally put a name to the face."

Her eyes glimmered with an intensity that made my stomach churn uncomfortably, her subtle gestures betraying a keen interest in a man who had never shown an inkling of reciprocation. Let alone a man she just met.

"I've heard tales of his valor," she continued, her tone dripping with exaggerated admiration, "and his dedication to the cause."

I exchanged a glance with Hange, silently pleading for intervention, but she merely offered an amused smirk, clearly reveling in Ivy's shameless flirtation.

"And speaking of dedication," Ivy added, her gaze lingering on me for a moment too long, "Iris, do you know if Captain Levi has any... personal commitments? Perhaps to someone special?"

The insinuation hung in the air like a heavy fog, suffocating me with its implications. Ivy's relentless pursuit of Levi's attention grated on my nerves, igniting a fierce discomfort that begged for escape.

With a strained smile, I rose from the table, clutching at the excuse of fetching another bottle of wine to mask my abrupt departure.

"Hange can tell you all about it," I muttered, my voice betraying a hint of urgency as I fled the suffocating atmosphere of the dining room, leaving behind Ivy's lingering gaze and the unsettling echo of her probing inquiries.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

I tiptoed past the dining room, where the echoes of Ivy and Hange's laughter reverberated through the corridors like a mischievous melody. They were knee-deep in their preparations for the upcoming ball, their voices beamed with excitement as they discussed everything from decorations to dance partners.

I couldn't bring myself to join them. The mere thought of endless hours spent deliberating over floral arrangements and seating charts made my head throb with an intensity that rivaled the morning sun. So instead, I sought refuge in the solitude of my old room, hoping to find solace in the familiar confines of my childhood sanctuary.

But even sleep proved to be an elusive escape, my dreams haunted by fragmented memories and whispered regrets. When I finally roused from my restless slumber, a throbbing headache greeted me like an unwelcome guest, a lingering reminder of the wine-fueled haze that had clouded my senses the night before.

Seeking respite from the cacophony of laughter downstairs, I made my way to the kitchen, the promise of a steaming cup of tea luring me like a siren's song. Yet, to my surprise, I found Elenor already there, her deft hands maneuvering with practiced ease as she prepared a tray laden with snacks and tea.

"Well, well, if it isn't our sleeping beauty," Elenor quipped, her smile warm and welcoming despite the late hour.

I offered her a sheepish grin, my headache pulsing with renewed vigor as I scanned the array of herbal remedies lining the shelves.

"Just the person I was hoping to see," I replied, my tone tinged with a hint of desperation.

Elenor's gaze softened with sympathy as she assessed my condition, her fingers deftly selecting a blend of lavender and ginger to soothe my aching head.

"Your mother's tea will do wonders," she assured me, her voice a gentle balm against the discordant symphony of my thoughts.

"Are you not lending a hand with the planning?" Elenor inquired, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

As she busied herself with the preparations, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at the prospect of evading my duties yet again. At the same time, I didn't ask to be a part of the planning. I shook my head, a sigh escaping my lips as I resigned myself to my fate.

"Not my forte,"

But Elenor had other plans, her gaze unwavering as she handed me the tray, a mischievous glint dancing in her eyes.

"Levi requested tea," she revealed, her smile knowing. "And since you're here, you might as well check in on your guest."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Elenor was already retreating, her laughter trailing behind her like a whisper in the wind. With a resigned sigh, I grasped the tray tightly, steeling myself for the inevitable encounter that awaited me. After all, if there was one thing more daunting than planning a ball, it was facing Levi Ackerman with a pounding headache but at least I had a tray of tea in hand.

As I stood in the hallway of my childhood home, the weight of the tray in my hands felt like an anchor tethering me to a past I longed to forget. Every step towards Levi's room I felt my stomach turn and my hands start to shake.

The portraits lining the walls seemed to mock me with their silent gaze, their painted eyes boring into my soul as if they knew the secrets I harbored within. Memories, both bitter and sweet, threatened to overwhelm me, each step forward a hesitant shuffle toward the inevitable.

Elenor's well-intentioned gesture had unwittingly become a catalyst for my torment, her innocent invitation to deliver tea to a guest transforming into a cruel reminder of everything I had lost. I wanted to scream, to lash out at the walls closing in around me, but the weight of my grief held me captive in its suffocating embrace.

With trembling hands, I approached the door to Levi's room, the wood worn smooth from years of use. I hesitated, my heart pounding in my chest, the memories flooding my mind with a dizzying intensity.

My gaze fell upon the looming presence of the parlor room, its doors casting a shadow over my memories like a specter from the past. It had been years since I had dared to venture near that threshold, the weight of its significance bearing down on me with each passing moment.

The last time I crossed that threshold was the day my mother drew her final breath, the room forever frozen in time as a testament to the tragedy that had unfolded within its walls. It had become a sanctuary of sorrow, a sacred space untouched by the passage of time.

The memories that lingered within those walls were a haunting presence, a reminder of the pain and loss that had defined my existence ever since that fateful day. And yet, despite my best efforts to bury them, they clawed their way back to the surface, threatening to consume me once more.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as Alexander guided the stallion through the gates, his hand firmly clasping mine. The exhilaration of our impending announcement coursed through me, making my heart race with anticipation.

Dismounting gracefully, Alexander extended his hand to help me down from the horse, his touch sending a shiver of excitement down my spine. I couldn't help but admire the glint of the ring on my finger, the sunlight catching the gemstone in a dazzling display.

"Ready to share the news?" Alexander's voice was filled with excitement as he gestured towards the house, his eyes shining with anticipation.

"My mother deserves to know first," I replied, a smile playing at the corners of my lips as Alexander led me towards the entrance.

As we burst through the door, Elenor's surprised voice greeted us, her eyes widening at our sudden arrival.

"Lady Iris!" she yelled, taken aback by our unannounced entrance.

"Sorry to barge in, Elenor. Do you know where mother is?" I asked my hand still intertwined with Alexander's, the ring sparkling in the light.

"In the piano room, but she didn't seem well," Elenor replied, concern etched on her face. "Perhaps it's best to wait until later."

"I have just the thing to cheer her up," I announced proudly, holding out my hand to reveal the dazzling ring.

Elenor gasped in astonishment, her eyes widening as she took in the sight of the ring.

"Oh, my, that's stunning," she exclaimed, her excitement contagious.

"This will surely bring a smile to her face! Off you go then!" With a warm smile, she ushered us towards the piano room, leaving me feeling buoyant and eager to share our joyous news with my mother.

As we burst into the room, my heart racing with anticipation, I scanned the parlor with eager eyes, searching for any sign of my mother's presence. But the room lay empty, void of the familiar warmth and laughter that usually filled its walls.

"Let's check the parlor," I urged, my voice trembling with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. Gripping Alexander's hand tightly, I led the way, my steps quickening with each passing moment.

With a swift motion, I flung open the doors to my mother's sanctuary, my breath catching in my throat as I stepped inside. But instead of the welcoming embrace I had anticipated, the room seemed to darken before my eyes, the air heavy with an oppressive sense of foreboding.

A strangled cry tore from my lips as I stumbled forward, the weight of despair crashing over me like a tidal wave. Alexander's arms enveloped me, anchoring me to the ground as I sank to my knees, the world spinning around me in a dizzying blur.

Desperation clawed at my chest as I fought to reach her, my hands grasping for something, anything to hold onto. But Alexander held me back, his voice a distant echo in the chaos, his attempts to comfort me falling on deaf ears.

The sound of Elenor's scream pierced the air, shattering the silence with a jolt of raw emotion. My body trembled with exhaustion, every muscle aching with the weight of grief as I struggled to make sense of the nightmare unfolding around me.

But no matter how hard I tried, the truth remained unchanged, a bitter pill I couldn't swallow. And as the echoes of my cries filled the room, I felt the world slip away, consumed by darkness I could never escape.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"Iris," Levi's voice broke through the haze of my thoughts, snapping me back to reality.

I blinked, startled to find him standing before me, his presence looming like a shadow in the dimly lit hallway. He wasn't clad in his usual uniform or stiff attire; instead, he wore something casual, an unexpected sight that softened his typically stern demeanor.

"Sorry," I stammered, momentarily flustered by his sudden appearance.

"I brought you tea." I lifted the tray in the offering, hoping to break the awkward silence that hung between us like a heavy fog.

Without a word, Levi reached out and snatched the tray from my grasp, his movements sharp and efficient. With a curt nod, he gestured for me to enter, holding the door open with an impatient air.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" His voice was laced with irritation, a sharp contrast to the calm facade he exuded just moments ago.

"Right. Sorry," I muttered, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up my cheeks as I followed him into the room.

The door clicked shut behind me, enclosing us in a cocoon of silence. I made my way to the seating area near the fireplace, the crackling flames casting flickering shadows across the room. It had been ages since I set foot in this space, and the sight of another person occupying it—especially Levi, of all people—sent a strange pang of discomfort through me.

Only these walls know the things that have happened in this room.

As Levi busied himself with pouring the tea, the tension in the room seemed to thicken, suffocating me with its weight. I fidgeted with the hem of my dress, unsure of what to say or do to break through the palpable awkwardness that hung between us like a heavy shroud.

"When was the last time you were back in this hell hole?" Levi's voice cut through the quiet, punctuated by the clink of his cup meeting his lips.

"The trials," I replied curtly, my tone matching his blunt demeanor.

He simply nodded, taking another sip of his tea, his expression unreadable.

"It's been that long, huh?" he remarked, his voice carrying a hint of sympathy.

"Yeah, I don't like being here," I admitted, feeling a twinge of discomfort at the memories this place evoked.

"I don't blame you. Your family—" He paused as if grappling with his next words, and I braced myself for the inevitable mention of my past.

"Irritating? Think they're better than everyone else? Annoying?" I supplied, cutting him off before he could tip-toe around the truth. His restraint was admirable, but sometimes honesty was necessary, especially in moments like these.

"No," he responded quickly, his eyes darting away from mine.

"Don't hold yourself back now," I teased, a playful smile tugging at my lips. "It's times like this when I need your witty remarks."

His gaze returned to meet mine, a flicker of relief dancing across his features.

"Your sister is a nuisance," he admitted, his tone tinged with frustration. "The woman does not shut up."

"Oh, it's only going to get worse," I chuckled, taking a sip of my tea. "Trust me."

"I don't understand," he groaned, his brow furrowing in confusion. "I just met her."

"Well, get ready," I quipped, a mischievous glint in my eye. "You're in for a wild ride."

"Everyone's heard the stories of Captain Levi and how he's dedicated to the cause," I mimicked Ivy's voice, earning an eye roll from Levi in response.

"I'm just doing my job," he replied, his tone clipped and dismissive.

"Yeah, and you're pretty good at it. Of course, people are going to talk about the guy with a Titan kill count of thirty-six," I remarked, unable to resist poking fun at his legendary status.

"It's not thirty-six," he groaned, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

"Yes, it is," I insisted, refusing to let him downplay his achievements.

"Can't be," he muttered, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the truth.

"I keep track."

"Well, don't. It's not useful," he retorted, his irritation evident.

"It's fun, and I'm going to continue to do so," I declared, standing up from my seat.

"Where are you going?" he interjected, his voice betraying a hint of concern.

"To bed, and so should you," I replied, flashing him a playful smirk.

"Big talk from someone who doesn't sleep," he fired back, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

"Likewise," I countered, returning his smile as I made my way to the door. "Goodnight, Captain."

"Night," he responded, his gaze lingering on me as I exited the room.

"Iris," my father's voice called out from his study, the door ajar, inviting me in with its dim illumination.

With a heavy sigh, I stepped into the room, bracing myself for the inevitable confrontation.

"Father," I greeted him curtly as I entered.

"Close the door," he ordered, his tone firm and unwavering.

I complied, closing the door behind me with a soft click, the sound echoing in the tense silence that hung between us.

As my father removed his reading glasses and set them aside, his gaze bore into me with a harshness that cut to the core. It was a look I'd grown accustomed to over the years, but it still stung every time.

"You know how I feel about going into another man's room unwedded," he began, his words dripping with disdain. "Don't want to make the same mistake as last time."

"It's not like that. He's my captain," I protested, attempting to defend myself against his accusations.

"Captain and subordinates don't spend alone time together. It's inappropriate," he admonished, his voice growing harsher with each word. "You have a habit of inappropriate behavior. It makes our family look bad. He's from the underground; he's nothing but trouble."

I couldn't help but fire back, my stubbornness bubbling to the surface.

"Last I recall, you favored a boy from the underground."

"And look where that got you. Cowering under that fool's hands. I thought the Scouts were supposed to make you fearless and strengthen you. All that work and you're still weak."

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

A/N: Midsommar & Florence Pugh’s acting was my inspiration when writing Iris’s flashback about her mother. I’m sorry for such an eerie song to go with the chapter but if you’ve seen the movie then you’d understand what I’m trying to convey.

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman aot #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi fluff #levi x reader #levi ackerman x female reader #aot x reader #attack on titan #levi aot #levi attack on titan #snk levi #aot #captain levi #shingeki no kyojin #levi angst #levi ackerman x you #aot fanfiction #aot fandom #attack on titan x reader

[juneviews]

gmmtv 2024 part 2 trailers first impression & ranking :)

from most excited for to least excited:

us: I SCREAMED!!! of course gl ranks number one, let's bffr, but legit this looks so indie & good I love it! sing is gonna be so good at being the abandoned lover hahaha, and the girls have so much chemistry & are so cute!!! I ship it already <3

breakup service: I did NOT expect to get an off as MAIN in a straight romcom again after 4 fucking years, I'm beyond elated!!! the fact that he's paired with a very popular singer also makes me happy! the plot looks really fun & reminds me of catch me baby and midnight motel so I'm all in!!! my man deserves this sm <3

hide & sis: gawin in a role like this??? ATE DOWN!!! but honestly the whole cast is perfect, I can't believe we're gonna get pepper & lookjun playing an on-screen couple! I hope this one is more like ps: I hate you & nothing like the jungle but I'm super excited I love everyone here :)

the ex morning: bruh if you'd have told a kristsingto show would be 4th on this list I would've laughed in your face but... tell me why this plot seems so fucking cute?? I feel like we haven't gotten this type of second chance bl before, and idk if it's nostalgia or what but I'm actually really into it lol

thame po: yooooo this morning I could not picture estwilliam together, but actually I like them a lot already! as a lykn fan I'm happy to see them in a series, and the plot is quite original which is becoming more & more rare so I'm excited!

sweet tooth, good dentist: I still don't know how to fully feel about mark & ohm t, I feel like they look way too similar, but oh well. this looks very sweet (like its title) & y'all know I love dumb romcoms like these so I'll be watching!

leap day: this looks insane & the cast feels random af but it seems interesting! I hope it doesn't end up being one of those shows who thought throwing gun & his insane talent in a show would be enough to cover its bad writing *cough* home school *cough* midnight museum *cough* excited to see pond in an interesting role for once though lmao

the dark dice: this looks like the thai high school squid game to me, it seems interesting & I love that aungpao is in here, but I'll have to see how I feel once the show starts airing to see if I'll watch it or not.

scarlet heart thailand: this teaser told me nothing so I googled the original, ngl it's a slay for tu she looks so pretty, and I do love historical shows so I'll probably be watching! also very happy to see tay, force & phuwin here :)

friendshit forever: I legit thought I was gonna get a mookpat gl bruh lmaoooooo, but nope instead I get girls fighting over a dude ;_; like I get it new is hot af but bruh in 2024 we still have girls having cat fights... I'm good :/ the title is hilarious though :')

ossan's love thailand: this trailer actually made me happy bc contrarily to my initial thought I think earth is ADORABLE as haruta! and the actor they chose to play the ossan??? DAMNNN DADDY 😏 probably still won't be watching since I hate remakes but this looks better than I anticipated!

the heart killers: call me a hater but I did not feel this at all, I feel like it's a more boring mix of not me, only friends & midnight motel and I don't particularly care for either ships so I will not be watching... I'm sure this show will be fine without me though lol

perfect 10 liners: we are but even more boring, they even pulled up aouboom & marcpoon LMAOOO. again all love but I don't care for this at all, it's so basic I can't do this to myself anymore, I'm sorry it's called self-care at this point :')

revamp the undead story: again I don't care for bounprem & THE gmmtv vampire show is my golden blood for me babe, like sorry but jossgawin forever 🫶 (more seriously this doesn't look bad but I simply do not give any fuck to watch this show)

#axelle rants #gmmtv 2024 part 2 #us the series #break up service #hide and sis #the ex morning #thame po #sweet tooth good dentist #leap day #the dark dice #scarlet heart thailand #friendshit forever #ossan's love thailand #the heart killers #perfect 10 liners #revamp the undead story #it started really slow but we got some good ones in the process... especially hyped for my babies off & gawin ofc :)