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riceccakes · 3 years

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Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis

chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis

back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic

idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters

now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter

this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy

this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)

so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)

into the chapter we go:

let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.

i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter

im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD

Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira.

when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.

Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?

this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.

Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.

back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops

okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter

this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.

Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”

i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic.

moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends

when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?

asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))

honorable mentions:

there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)

so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)

#ricewrites #earth wind and coffee #coffee shop au #chapter analysis #writing analysis #korrasami #korrasami fic #korra #asami sato #lok

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iwillsinkwithmyships · 4 years

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Beautiful Boy, Bathed in Disaster

As he laid dying in a Siberian bunker Tony Stark thinks about betrayals and broken promises. Left behind and half-dead he is faced with his worst nightmare.

Notes: This was literally written in hours, which is insane because usually I take forever to finish even a one shot. But this just flowed! The title comes from the song "In Loving Memory" by Chester Lockhart which played in repeat while I wrote this. I recommend you listen to it as you read it as well lol

There is a slight canon divergence as in my story, Pepper and Tony broke up after Iron Man 3 and Tony and Steve get together a little after Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Borrowed some quotes from other Avengers works, such as comics and AA

AO3 Link

"Mr. Stark."

"Captain."

"Is everything a joke to you?"

"Funny things are."

"Big man in a suit of armor... take that off, what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."

"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage, the only thing you really fight for is yourself. You are not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

"I think I would just cut the wire."

"Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero."

"A hero? Like you? You're a laboratory experiment Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle."

"What the hell! What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me."

"We won."

"Oh, alright, yay! Alright, good job guys! Uh, let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. You ever try shawarma? There is a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it."

"We are not finished yet."

"And then shawarma after?"

"Oh really you two knew each other? He never mentioned that...maybe only a thousand times. God, I hated you."

"Sometimes I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth, but I don't want to see you gone. We need you Cap."

"Winghead"

"Shellhead"

"You are walking a little funny Steve, next time you should establish a safe word." . . . "You are walking a little funny Tony, what was that you were saying about a safe word?"

"Hilarious."

"Wait a second, no one else gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said 'language'?"

"I know...It just slipped out."

"We'll lose."

"Then we'll do that together too."

"Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things."

"I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned."

"Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet."

"How can you possibly hope to stop me?"

"Well, like the old man said: together."

"No way we all make it through this."

"I got no plans tomorrow night."

"I will miss you Tony"

"Tony, when I woke up on this era, I had no one. Nothing. You gave me a purpose, somewhere to belong...You gave me a home."

"You wanna survive you gotta change with the times."

"Spend a few decades frozen in ice, then we can talk about survival."

"Just say it, say 'Tony I'm afraid of new tech!' admitting you have a problem is always the first step."

"Gosh Mr. Big Brain, your modern tech is so gol-darn confusing. How does this contraption turn water into coffee? Is it coal power or is it a miracle?"

"Hmm, sarcasm must be a modern invention, because when you do it, it just sounds wrong."

"But, with my armor gone, all I can do is improvise. Steve, even without your shield, you're still captain America. Without my armor I'm just ..."

"Tony Stark, THE Tony Stark, billionaire, genius, you are probably one of the three smartest men in the entire world. You are as tough as they come, you invented hardcore. The avengers are lucky you are on our side."

"Really? you know two people smarter than me?"

"Can't you just take a compliment."

"I am not half as good at - at anything as I am when I'm doing it next to you. And that's the truth."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Good morning Beloved. Did anyone check the dumpster for Clint yet?"

"Funny you should ask that..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm worried about you, if you don't get some sleep..."

"I slept for 70 years - "

"Yeah, you've used that line before."

"Leave me alone. I am a senior citizen."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"He's my friend."

"So was I."

"Did you know?"

"I wasn't sure it was him--"

"Don't bullshit me Rogers! Did. You. Know?"

"Yes."

Images and memories flashed through Tony's mind as he laid on the cold floor of the abandoned Hydra base. The Siberian cold penetrating his suit as his mind raced.

Steve had known the truth about his parents' death for years. He'd known when they fought Ultron. He'd known when he gave Tony shit about keeping secrets, the fucking hypocrite. He'd known over a year ago, he'd known when he leaned over the table to kiss Tony. He'd known when they tumbled into bed that same night. He'd known for the rest of their relationship, even when he whispered "I love you" late at night and when Tony had said it right back.

He'd known.

And now all Tony was left with was a broken suit and an abandoned shield.

Tears fell out of his eyes as he fell back to the floor. Steve had left. He'd taken Barnes and walked right out, without sparing a second thought for Tony. After he and Pepper had broken up Tony had resigned himself to being alone for the rest of his life. Then Steve had kissed him and all of the sudden Tony had been in love again. They'd still fought but Tony had learned to see Steve's side of things and to explain his side of things to Steve. Tony had been sure that this was it. He'd fallen hard and fast for Steve.

"Well that shows you, huh Stark."

-----

Some time later, Tony's eyes startled open as he realized that he had no way out of that bunker.

-----

The temperature kept dropping, and Tony had long given up hope of a rescue.

"Well Yinsen, it looks like I did waste my life after all... I'm sorry."

Tony closed his eyes.

-----

When Tony came to again, everything was still cold and painful. He tried to move, but the suit was frozen and still dead, quiet honestly, Tony didn't know how he was still alive.

The sound of footsteps echoed through the bunker, and Tony blinked trying to place the sound. Had FRIDAY alerted Vision?

A few minutes later two slender figures walked towards him.

"Father," he didn't recognize the breathy feminine voice that rang out, "We've found him. We've got Stark."

"He looks half dead. Should we put him out of his misery?" Another woman said, her voice a lot more confident. The two figures walked closer, and Tony struggle to keep his eyes open. There was no way he could defend himself.

"Patience daughter, I have plans for Stark." A deep voice responded. The two women walked into the sliver of light that managed to get into his cold dark tomb. He finally laid eyes on them and his breathing grew harsher. The two women were not...human. They were humanoid, but one of them was blue, and her body was littered with mechanic enhancements, the other was completely green with deep burgundy hair. The two of them exuded murderous vibes. The kind that Tony usually only got from Natasha and Pepper. He drew in a harsh breath and tried once more to get up from the cold floor he'd been planing to die in.

"Such fighting spirit. It's a pity that humanity does not appreciate you Anthony Stark." An imposing figure approached from the shadows. He was huge, probably bigger than the hulk himself. "I have waited a long time to meet you Stark."

"Yo...u..... kno...w....m...e?" he managed to croak out.

"I do, you are not the only one cursed with knowledge."

"..w- wh..who...?" Tony could barely keep conscious. He was still on the verge of death, and aliens invading earth was literally his worst nightmare. A new voice rang out and a squid looking figure joined the others.

"Rejoice, you will have the privilege of being saved by The Great Titan, Thanos."

"Wh...wh.." Tony gasped for breath, "...why...?"

"I have come for you Stark. Earth's Greatest Defender. When I first enslaved the Asgardian, I thought his task a simple one. After all this planet is quite primitive compared to others we've conquered before. Yet, you and your team managed to defeat my army." The titan walked closer to him, "Imagine my surprise at realizing that it hadn't been your Asgardian ally who'd laid waste to my ships and army, but a simple human. Fascinating. After that it was difficult not to pay attention. Time and time again, you defend it, and this is your reward" The titan waved a hand towards the pathetic picture Tony painted.

"G..go..f..fuh..Fuck...yo...yours...self." Thanos smiled and waved a hand to those behind him.

"Give him a blood transfusion, The Accuser should have provided enough, and make sure he survives. Once he's no longer on the brink of death, bring him to me."

---------------------

Tony had passed out after his encounter with Thanos and when he'd woken up he was being moved. The pain had dulled down, most likely a result of the forced blood transfusion. He'd shuddered as he thought about it. Once more a victim of nonconsensual body modifications.

This nightmare just kept getting worse.

He was laid on a hard surface and bound. The genius took a moment to analyze his current situation, he seemed to be in some sort of medical room, there were holograms displaying what he assumed to be his own vitals. The technology seemed advanced and otherworldly so he took this to mean that he'd somehow made it into the ship. What was this Thanos actually doing here? Where they still on Earth? Was Earth under attack?

That final thought made him pull at his restrains, he immediately slumped back in the bed his body still felt like he'd been run over by a bus.

'or two super-soldiers'

Tony closed his eyes as the entire fight replayed in his mind. God he'd been so fucking stupid. And now here he was trapped by some crazy alien bent on conquering earth. Who would protect Earth now? Rogers and Barnes were definitely on the wind now. About half of the team were sitting in Ross's super secret prison. He hoped Vision runs and hides that damn stone. God knows were Natasha was hiding.

And Rhodey. Rhodey was in no condition to fight.

The door to the room he was currently trapped in opened and in walked the mad titan himself, accompanied by his two daughters? Who looked nothing like him.

"Stark, you are awake."

"Where am I? What do you want? You better stay away from Earth or I swe-"

"Don't worry, the time will come but there is much to do before I return for Earth's salvation." Tony's jaw clenched as he watched the purple maniac approach him. "Like I said, I am here for you Stark."

"What do you want from me? From the looks of this ship, you have no need for my tech much less my money, so what do you want? Weapons? I'll die before I ever create another weapon of mass destruction!" The titan simply smiled and sat beside him. His two deadly looking daughters stood guard by the door.

"I am here to offer you a place in my order, as my son and perhaps my heir." Tony stared incredulously and glanced at the other two in the room and saw their shocked expressions. So he hadn't shared his plans for Tony with them.

"Excuse me?!"

"I admire your bravery and tenacity Anthony, you would do well in my order and when I have achieved perfect balance in this entire universe I wish to retire, but I must leave someone in charge. I think you would do well."

"You are out of your mind." the brunette gritted out.

"You could help me save this entire universe from itself, and then you would be the most powerful man in the universe. Join us Stark"

"Never. I can't believe you thought that I'd say yes to this."

"You and I are quite similar you know. I too was called mad for trying to protect my planet. I tried to save my planet and our people, I was ignored, and the entire planet perished. Are you not tired Anthony? Of trying to save a planet that doesn't want to be saved?" The ache in Tony's chest grew and he continued to glare at Thanos.

"Never." Thanos let out a disappointed sigh and got back on his feet.

"I had hoped you would see reason," he walked towards the medical equipment in the room, "perhaps a little reminder of what Earth has repaid your loyalty with will help."

Tony couldn't help his scream at the pain his head was under. As he trashed he thought he saw pitying looks come from the two women by the door.

Everything went dark.

His father sitting him down at 8 years-old and handing him a glass of whiskey. The start of his alcohol problems.

His father handing him hot tools despite his bare hands. The reason he doesn't like being handed things.

Tiberius Stone.

The Cave. The open hear surgery without anesthesia. The waterboarding. Yinsen.

"When I ordered the hit on you, I worried that I was killing the golden goose. But you see, it was just fate that you survived that, you had one last golden egg to give."

The Palladium poisoning. The fight with Rhodey. Rhodey taking off with his suit.

The helicarrier fight.

Extremis. Maya. Aldrich. AIM.

His break up with Pepper.

Ultron. Thor lifting him by the neck, as everyone watched and did nothing to stop him.

A video of the winter soldier killing his parents. Steve's betrayal.

Steve walking out on him with Barnes in his arms and dropping the shield.

"Tell me my child, do you wish to forget? To bury all this pain and suffering. All the betrayal and abandonment?" . . . . . . . .

"Yes."

#My fic #My writing #steve x tony #stony #captain america civil war #CA:CW #AU #Canon AU #steve rogers x tony stark #stevetony

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unordinary-analysis · 4 years

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Episode 159

So apparently “later in the week” means ‘literally next week’ for me digiudgg

Also, I won’t be able to post the day the comic comes out because christmas and all that and family idk so I just want to say HAPPY HOLIDAYS :DD hope you guys have a nice time :))

Honorable mentions:

Very happy that the theory is thriving

I love Arlo with all of my heart and soul there i’ve finally said it

Do we know yet if Arlo knows that Cecile is working with John? I can remember the superhero posse knowing it, but did the info ever reach arlo? Comment if i forgot something lol

I’ve talked about all of the possibilities of a joker impersonator in recent posts, so I won’t go into all of that again here. You see, it’s laziness. I’m sure you guys understand lol.

I literally don’t know how to write this in a detailed way which is why it’s in the honorable mentions, but I just feel that Cecile has to just snap soon right? I’ve been hyped about her character as a whole for so long ugh, I just need some developments

I say “anyways” a lot. Is it too much? lol

Okay, first of all: Elaine:

Elaine, elaine, elaine, elaine, elaine, you’ve finally done it. You’ve interested me.

Harsh, I know, but honestly, she hasn’t really been doing much. I thought her character was cool to read a couple of times when she was literally terrified to death of Joker, but now I feel that her intrigue is actually due to her own self if that makes sense? Anyways-

Moving past the obvious difference in her hair (only because I’ve already pointed that out lol), In this episode, WE GET TO SEE ELAINE IN OFFENSE MODE OEIRHGIWUHIWUH

I’ve been hungry for some good developments on people’s powers ugh. It’s been dry ever since we saw Isen fight like forever ago. Or maybe Cecile. I don’t know. I just like to see people fighting oof. Anyway, we don’t even get much of Elaine fighting, all we see is like a block and a punch, but that’s not even really the only thing I’m excited about seeing.

More so than other characters, Elaine has always been this docile type, you know? She’s just there whenever anyone needs healing and whenever someone needs someone to yell at them for being stupid. All Elaine ever is is worried, scared, and submissive. Well, not counting the beginning of the comic because I’m still not over that loss. Her character at the beginning of UnOrdinary? Superb. She was bitchy and yet weak at the same time. Classic combo. Anyways~ ;-;

Elaine is usually terrified of something and rarely stands up for herself or anything else, so seeing her stand up for herself, kind of, in this episode was really something to see. It wasn’t something big but, it was just a breath of fresh air to see a defiant side of Elaine. I wonder, is she growing more and more fed up of being weak? Is she done being scared? I don’t even know if she has the power to stop being scared, but, I don’t know. I’m kind of intrigued by the possibility of Elaine just snapping, aren’t you?

My main man: Arlo:

It’s got to be so weird going back to school after everything that went down, huh? Yet, the way that the safety of the school is still on Arlo’s mind? Even after he was publicly dethroned and now that everyone is staring at him wherever he goes? That’s the real evidence of what a true leader Arlo was. The best king we’ve seen in the UnOrdinary world I said what i said. And now he’s not even king anymore? Sidfhsiufhsiguh

And the fact that Elaine went straight to him when she found a problem? It’s obvious that everyone still thinks of Arlo as the king.

I’m just in awe that Arlo’s first priority seems to be the school. It really… just helps paint Arlo in this different light. I’ve made countless posts talking about how he is obsessed with order because of the influence left on him by Rei and Rei’s failure, but now that his hierarchy has fallen apart, he hasn’t exactly reacted in the way I always used to think he would. And, yes, this is very late considering how long ago John ruined the hierarchy, but I haven’t talked about it yet I think so I’m here now.

I used to think that Arlo loved order so much. That maintaining it was his ultimate goal. I’m positive I’ve said that a few times before at least. But, it’s easy to see now that it goes deeper than that. Arlo really loves his school or at least he feels he owes it something, something that runs deeper than the surface hierarchy. And I’m not even sure if he’s always been like that or if it’s changed over the course of the story. I can’t ever seem to tell, no matter what, if Arlo’s character really has developed, or if I just never saw an aspect of him. It’s infuriating and yet so interesting at the same time…

Anyway.

Arlo’s rage is also something I want to touch on. It’s not exactly something new, but compared to the beginning of the story, it’s definitely something much more common recently, even though he usually is able to maintain a cool now as well. In this episode, Arlo punched a wall hard out of anger, which wouldn’t exactly be news for characters like Blyke or John, and maybe wouldn’t be for Arlo either, but I can’t help thinking about how out of character it would be for the Arlo of the comic’s beginning, at the beginning of season one. I feel that anger is something that we’re only being introduced to in regards to Arlo, like easing yourself into cold water, you know? Yeah sure, it doesn’t feel too out of character for Arlo to get so angry he literally decimates a wall, but it feels like every time he loses his cool, it either gets more over the top or it is incited by smaller and smaller things. His tendency to turn to anger is getting bigger. Arlo is angrier now than he’s ever been.

But, Just as I just said. I can’t tell if this is a totally new thing for Arlo, the anger, or if it’s been inside of him all along, just brewing beneath the surface, repressed in a way, similar to John. Except John knows what he’s running from. I don’t really know what I’m saying I just really love that uru-chan is tapping into Arlo’s emotions more and more as the story goes on because I can’t tell if they really are new things for Arlo or if they’re finally getting the best of him.

Wording is hard so I have no idea if that last section makes sense.

So: summary: I’m currently waiting for some sort of enlightenment on Arlo’s emotional state and character growth because damn

We love our dark king John:

So, um. John.

He’s really something, isn’t he.

I can never just hate him… no matter what he does… because everything he does is just so interesting.

Anyway back on topic. John’s current motives are actually really interesting. I’m not sure if I’ve talked about this yet because to be honest every time I write one of these, I rarely ever go back to see what I’ve already written in previous weeks and I never just remember because once I post one of these, you can bet that it’s out of mind. I know that John really just wants to create chaos. That’s clear enough. He stated basically that Arlo when he said he was taking down the hierarchy. But the thing is, I really don’t get why John is so for chaos? Like? I understand taking down the hierarchy because everything John hates about life, about his life, it really has stemmed from this system, the hierarchy. And finally after Arlo proved once again that the hierarchy could do nothing but hurt him, John vows to destroy it. Makes sense. And when the hierarchy is destroyed, obviously chaos is going to occur. That’s inevitable. We saw something similar with Rei and just basic sense seems to suggest that people do not not know how to function when there aren’t rules to follow. That’s chaos. Got that. But while John’s hate for the hierarchy and motive to destroy it make sense and the natural path that follows that leads to chaos, it’s John’s particular want for this chaos that keeps throwing me off.

I don’t get why John wants chaos. I don’t get it. I don’t, okay? You know, he was a lot easier to understand when the only things he had going on were a. Lie to sera and b. Take down the hierarchy. But, yay, he’s achieved those things (some more successfully than others), and now..?? Why would John want chaos?

I’m just repeating myself in hopes of making sense of my own thoughts but I can’t. I really don’t know why John seems so keen for Wellston running itself into the ground.

So I’m deadass going to leave this here until I can think properly or something iuwfisuhg. I don’t know. It’s kind of late and I have to be up early tomorrow.

Some developments on the imposter Joker theory:

Yeah, so, this isn’t really a theory aymore. It’s kind of proven now, but still it’s an easy way to refer to the whole situation. Anyway, on my longer post before specifically on this, I pointed out that because it used to be a common belief among low-tiers that Tuesday (back when he still was Tuesday) was Arlo, even though Arlo’s eyes glow blue and John’s glow orange. So: I said that it was likely that students can’t see the color of the eye glow or whatever through the mask.

This was only supported by this episode because not once does Elaine mention the color of the imposter’s eyes when determining that it is indeed an imposter. She thinks, “Wait a minute…! Something isn’t right here! That’s not John! …. This imposter’s ability level is nothing compared to the real Joker!” And that’s about it. So. Yeah. I think I was right about the eye thing. Not much else to say lol.

Something else I want to say about the Joker imposter thing is that it really doesn’t matter who each imposter is. We wasted breath trying to think of who the first imposter was and if they don’t keep the same one, it doesn’t really matter. So because this imposter was not the same as the last, I think we can move on from this particular guessing game.

#unordinary #webtoon #unordinary webtoon #uru-chan #episode 159 #official

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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I will always maintain that Dabb's finale's titles are incredibly meta and foreshadow the coming events. Given that this finale was titled Moriah (and I'm going back and forth on whether we got Jehovahjireh in the form of Sam), I can't help but speculate that S15 is going to be the transition from Old Testament to New Testament. There's a good reason why we never got a Christ figure before S13.

Hello from my inbox circa three weeks ago... >.>

(sorry I’m so far behind, but I’m still randomly spelunking through older messages and trying to reply as I can)

I had to google what Jehovahjireh meant, and I... don’t think that’s what we got in the literal sense of the term, but maybe something along these lines, from this article: https://www.gotquestions.org/Jehovah-Jireh.html:

The account of Abraham on Mt. Moriah thus becomes more than a dramatic illustration of faith and obedience. It is a presentation of the Lord’s eternal grace, continual provision, and all-encompassing wisdom. Jehovah-Jireh is not “The LORD Did Provide,” but “The LORD Will Provide.” In other words, the name does not simply memorialize a past event; it anticipates a future action.

With the highly ironic twist that God himself literally engineered this entire encounter in the first place. Which, again, is yet another nod to the spiral narrative, and this story that Chuck’s been telling and retelling literally forever. All of this has happened before, but Sam, Dean, and Cas have just leveled up and seen that bigger picture. And yay, I get to haul out one of the three gifs I’ve ever made, from 8.12:

Well, TFW just finally found a parking spot and stood their ground. Chuck did provide, and if they demonstrate faith in his instructions, he will provide all of this again-- all of this suffering, this horrific “I did what I had to do,” “I didn’t have a choice” moment where they must sacrifice everything to save the world again. And again and again and again...

Team Free Will, who have sacrificed so much over and over again in the name of preserving humanity and free will for everyone else, have never truly had it for themselves. Thanks, Chuck, for keeping them trapped in this narrative loop for the sake of drama, for the sake of watching his favorite characters reenact his favorite plot and never letting them enjoy any of the rewards for a job well done, you know?

That said, to me, Dabb’s season finale titles are more about pointing out this spiral narrative than they are about foreshadowing. Because seriously, what even is the point of foreshadowing within a cyclical narrative? Dabb didn’t NEED to foreshadow anything on the grand scale, because it’s all happened before, and it will all happen again... Let me explain.

Alpha and Omega. Dabb’s first season finale, in a season where he quietly took over the showrunner reins from Jeremy Carver somewhere shortly after midseason (and an argument can be made that he was already aware this shift was imminent when he wrote 11.10, even if it wasn’t official yet, seeing as how he began steering the narrative around this point...). This was arguably the culmination of one round of this Grand Narrative, hitting all the major plot points Chuck has included in every round-- sacrifice (Dean volunteering to “be the bomb,”), everyone working toward the common goal and all of them willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in the name of saving the universe again.

Alpha and Omega is “the beginning and the ending.” Or “the first and the last.” It’s referenced in the Book of Revelation. And 11.23 is an ending in many ways... the ending of that particular chapter in the mytharc of Supernatural, the ending of Chuck and Amara’s separation, the technical ending of the Carver Era, the end of s11 itself. But it’s also full of beginnings... the beginning of Dabb Era, the beginning of the next chapter in the mytharc of Supernatural (with the introduction of the BMoL and the unfridging of Mary Winchester that had begun the original era of Supernatural in 1.01, so in a sense Mary’s reappearance is both a Beginning AND an Ending... it’s spirals all the way down, my dudes). And it was narratively the beginning of TFW’s era serving as the “caretakers” of the Universe in Chuck’s supposed absence... that worked out great, right?

But this was always the story Dabb wanted to tell. His intent was always to point at the curtain, to draw our attention away from the Big Scary Glowing Head with all the smoke and mirrors and begin nudging us all to recognize the curtain over in the corner of the room where you could see some dude’s feet down at the bottom. He’s spent his entire tenure as showrunner effectively teaching us all how this entire story functions. More on this in a second, but first let’s look at 12.23:

All Along The Watchtower. There has been so much meta written about just this title alone, going back to even before the episode aired:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/all%20along%20the%20watchtower/chrono

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/*all%20along%20the%20watchtower%20plays%20in%20the%20distance*/chrono

I’ve begun refiling all these posts under this tag:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-spirals-all-the-way-down/chrono

but I got derailed somewhere around 11.05, so there’s a gap... I need to get back to that retagging project someday >.>

I don’t know if you’ve ever watched Battlestar Galactica, but (spoiler alert), All Along The Watchtower was literally the magical key that unlocked the entire narrative, on pretty much every level-- in story, the notes of the song itself functioned as the “magic spell” that unlocked the Heroine’s Journey for the character of Kara Thrace, the narrative structure of the entire series which (surprise!) bore out to be a Grand Loop of a Spiral where the ending of the old story was simultaneously the same beginning of the same story, and the overarching structure of the divinity of that entire universe:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184126770915/justanotheridijiton

And I think that’s why Dabb chose this as his title here. He couldn’t possibly have chosen a more on-the-nose title, honestly... for an episode full of endings and beginnings, a window (or portal) onto a “failed world,” the birth of possibly either hope or destruction (or both simultaneously) with Jack, Castiel’s first True Death (wingprints and all!), and yet another revolution of the Same Story, the same song sung over again. Which brings us to

Let The Good Times Roll: Heck my dudes, for whom did any good times actually roll in this episode? For Michael? Who defeated “his Lucifer” over in that “failed universe,” finally getting another chance to “do it right?” Wherein his idea of “doing it right” was simply to change a few elements like customizing Ikea cabinets with different drawer pulls and maybe the oak finish instead of the cherry? His goal was always still the same, you know? Even if his methods were different simply due to circumstance (no angel army in this world, so he picked monsters instead). For Dean? Who thought at the beginning of the episode that they might finally be getting ahead of the game and maybe were reaching a point where they didn’t have to shoulder the burdens of the world (talking about “toes in the sand” again at the beginning of the episode before Michael and Lucifer broke back into this world), and then by the end had finally lost everything that Cas had been fighting against since he first rebelled in 4.22, giving in and saying Yes to Michael, and then losing his free will entirely, completely overridden by Michael in a way that even Dean revoking his consent couldn’t evict him again? For Jack, who had his grace torn out by his father and was sent on a crash course in humanity, loss, sacrifice, love, and death? I mean, this was just a rolling around of the narrative again, forcing everyone to face this Worst Case Scenario of the apocalypse finally jumping back on the tracks again, even with Lucifer dead and Michael having killed him. Because Michael never wanted anything different than Lucifer did-- the end of the world, by whatever means necessary. There is no paradise on Earth, merely destruction and rebirth in an endless cycle that Michael wanted to bring to an end.

It’s spirals all the way down, and the archangels just... don’t even have the ability to recognize that, let alone consider defying it.

Hello, 7.21: DEAN: Oh, I don't know, man. What can I say? You've been chosen. And it sucks. Believe me. There's no use asking "why me?" 'Cause the angels – they don't care. I think maybe they just don't have the equipment to care. Seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart.

Because in Dabb era, it’s kinda clear that that should’ve been the angels’ goal all along.

So instead of an ending (despite several things ending-- like Lucifer and Dean’s free will), we also have a fresh beginning. Welcome to Apocalypse Again.

Which finally brings us to

Moriah. More beginnings, more endings, but more importantly, the first actual transcendence of the narrative spiral by the characters themselves. TFW finally managed to throw back the curtain and see the weaselly lil dude standing behind it. And this has always, ALWAYS been Dabb’s endgame gambit. Every turn of the narrative up to this point has been leading up to this moment of syzygy where every character, every plot element, finally aligned for them to look through all the narrative loops and finally see the truth at the center of the story.

Here��s where I start detouring for the sake of clarity. Bear with me while this becomes murky as pea soup before finally coming back together. This post I wrote five days after 12.23 aired basically called this out:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/160988290690/12-while-i-do-not-ask-this-to-be-negative-at

And used this graphic in that post to explain shifting the viewer’s perspective on the narrative structure in order to understand the bigger picture of what the show is telling us with the narrative:

And this is what I mean by narrative syzygy. TFW-- inside the story-- have finally found themselves standing at the correct angle where all the plot points have lined up, and they can now see the universe looking directly back at them, quite literally. They finally, in story, have the full picture of where they stand versus God and the Universe.

And it’s unsettling!

But back to the point I abandoned before this detour. If you’re thinking of Moriah only in relation to the Abraham/Isaac story, you are missing fully half the relevant reference. You only need to look back to the very beginning of Jack’s life, and 13.02, to recall the other specific biblical reference relevant to Moriah: Solomon’s temple. (yes, I recognize that David built an altar there, and other temples have been built there, but Solomon has specifically been connected to Jack from the start, so we’re gonna go with his construction of the temple... but it is relevant to bear in mind the cycle of sacrifice, death, destruction, rebirth, and rebuilding all associated with Mt. Moriah, too).

The Big Reveal in 14.20-- everything from Jack’s “stop lying” and the ensuing chaos to Chuck’s hand being forced when his guys threw down the gun and refused to act out this specific sacrifice in a graveyard-- literally a place filled with monuments to the dead, including a statue/fountain of Mary and a rusted fence surrounding a tomb that looks suspiciously temple-like:

Birth, Death, Sacrifice, Faith, all in a never ending cycle. The characters have been trapped in this loop since the beginning of time, or at least since 1.01, unwittingly living out the same story over and over again, but each time leveling up in some way, and gaining perspective on another element of the narrative on each go-around. Each time through the loop, they may have faced the same Big Picture-- the current iteration of the Big Bad, the family dynamics, the struggle for personal growth, and their understanding of the universe in general and their places in it specifically. This is the Grand Story of Supernatural, on every level.

But now, in this final spiral of the story, the circle has finally been broken, and our guys are now aware that that gif I used above from 8.12 is literally the story of their entire lives, and they have confronted the source of that fact and finally broken free from it.

Cue the zombies. Because heck Chuck is mad they broke his story, and it looks like he doesn’t accept defeat graciously...

TFW only has one more Big Bad to defeat-- the story itself.

#dabb vs cars #spn 11.23 #spn 12.23 #spn 13.23 #spn 14.20 #it's spirals all the way down #*all along the watchtower plays in the distance*#Anonymous

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nei-noora · 5 years

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Thoughts on Gilmore Girls

So I've recently watched all of Gilmore Girls. It was one of those shows that I used to watch on TV after school while doing my homework, so depending on the time I came home and the workload... Well I couldn't watch it everyday so it was one of those shows I had seen some episodes of but not all of them.

And lately I've been in that mood... That mood that makes me want to entirely watch shows I used to catch on TV after school but never fully saw from start to finish. So a few weeks ago I started my Gilmore girls adventure and... Oh boy was it good.

A really good thing about the show is that even though a lot of things happened that I do not like/approve of, I still love it so much. The characters are so loveable, you just love the show for them, stars hollow and.. Well you know what I mean. It's kinda weird because there were still a lot of things I disliked but it's kind of what makes the show great? Or not really, BUT what is great is, it shows that a show doesn't have to be absolutely perfect to be an absolute fave.

First, saying that, it makes me think of a simple thing : I miss the old shows, the ones with long openings with songs you would know by heart after a few episodes and all the main actors appearing during the opening too. Aw this doesn't exist anymore and even though we skip through them, we like them and from time to time we just watch them to sing and enjoy the song because with a simple melody all of the memories of the show resurface. Current shows can't relate. And I just like all the cute tiny "flaws" from old shows too. Like if you re-watch the first few episodes, Luke's diner is different, it's not located in the same place (I even think in the first episode Luke's diner appears twice and both time it shows it in a different location!), stars hollow is different, the gazebo is not at the center of the park, Kirk doesn't even exist and Sean Gunn is just a foreign dude for everybody in stars hollow and appears as different guys a few times before actually becoming Kirk that everybody knows since... Forever! I just love how before the shows were still evolving for a few episodes before becoming what they would be for the rest of the show. Now EVERYTHING must be perfect from the first episode. Idk I guess I find old shows endearing.

Anyway, so maybe I should kinda start with my actual thoughts?

1- I hated that they made Rory cheat on Dean and just stay with him when she very obviously liked Jess. I feel like a lot of people hate Dean but I feel like honestly most of his reactions were always justified? I am not saying that it's okay to react the way he did several times. In a perfect world this shouldn't be done but people aren't perfect and his reactions were natural and justified. People hate him for being mad when Rory didn't say "I love you" back, like he expected her to say it back because that's what one "should do" (in his mind, according to people hating on Dean) when they are being confessed to. I think he wasn't mad AT her. You have to think like a 16yo boy. For the first time ever (probably) you tell a girl you love her and she just freezes. If his reaction is over the top it's just because he feels so ashamed. He feels like he has bared his soul, and she didn't say a word so as a defense mechanism he gets angry, not really at her but it just covers the fact that he's ashamed. I feel like if she would have said something instead of freezing (even something like "oh wow that's unexpected, wow, I don't know what to say, sorry, what did I do to deserve a boyfriend like you" or like just something to diffuse the blank and the awkwardness) he wouldn't have reacted that way. An older, wiser guy/Dean wouldn't have acted that way but a 16yo one, baring his soul for the first time.... the alarm bells must have been ringing in his mind. Same for his reactions at the dance or when he talks to Jess after he sees him and Rory kiss. For the former, he's been suspicious for a while, hurting because he can feel his gf growing apart even though she says she loves him, and when he catches her and Jess exchanging looks, obviously he would be mad. He must be feeling like he's being toyed with for way too long. And for the latter, he's mad, and for the first time ever he lets himself have that cocky attitude he's seen Jess act with for quite some time. And he knows that even though he's still new to the town, he has the town's support because he has done a great job fitting in (hence saying "this is my town". People give him a hard time for that but it's definitely his town in the sense that even though Jess' family has been here forever, Jess is new in town and arrived later. so Dean came first, he's more of "the town" on that aspect AND everybody likes him when Jess... Well... You know. So Dean definitely "owns" the town). So even though Rory is currently blinded by her love for Jess, Dean knows that he has the upper hand in everything, and Rory might end up changing her mind after a flirt with that bad boy that blinded her for a while (that's Dean's thinking, not my opinion). Anyway all that to say, I read a lot of things about how Dean is the worst, and even though he is for sure not perfect, I don't understand all the hate. (but dude after what rory has done to you you should have known better than cheating on your wife). I was personally more mad at Rory for cheating on him and staying with him all this time when she only had Jess in mind. I for sure was mad at her for the way she acted but I don't see people hating on her for that. Not that I'm looking for people hating but like I haven't really seen people talking about her flaws but always the guys'. But anyway when she cheats she's 16/17, and even though she has that perfect boyfriend I can understand that when a bad boy that oh-so-surprisingly is also a big bookworm appears she can be swooning for a while). It's not the only time I disliked Roy's attitude/decision but to be honest I was so sad after finishing the show, I didn't want to leave those characters and start something else and forget about them so.... I restarted watching it and I'm currently at that stage so that's why it's my first exemple and that's why I feel so strongly about it right now.

2- I literally HATE how they changed Dean's character. At first he was this really knowledgeable guy, who had a pretty good knowledge in books and movies, and rory would make him read new stuffs, they would debate on it, Lorelai and Rory would show him movies he wouldn't know etc, but they had a real connection and real exchanges and debates. And I feel that to make Jess be THAT guy she can have stimulating conversations and debates with, they decided to make Dean kind of.... Dumber??? Like at one point Jess asks Rory what her and Dean talk about, and she's like really vague... I don't understand we've seen them exchanging books and stuff so much in the first season, why do they act like he's interested in nothing later? Just to make Jess more relevant and a good match for Rory? He literally brings nothing new to the table (except for that bad boy attitude) compared to season 1 Dean. But of course I guess when Jess was written Dean was too perfect so suddenly in season 2 he doesn't read, doesn't know anything about movies or music? I honestly feel like it's so shitty what they've done to this character. They should have thought about it beforehand instead of writing a perfect guy. Season 1 Dean was a bookworm, had knowledge in movies, but also liked sports, he had interest in mechanics, I swear they made a really good guy with various interests (not talking about the personality here) and didn't choose a stereotype-y kind of guy but then he ended up being too good so to be overshadowed by Jess they had to make him kinda dumber with 0 similar interests with Rory. That sucks. Am I the only one that noticed it? They could have at least kept that when Jess arrived and made Rory say that they talk about books and stuff. Jess being a bigger bookworm that actually always has a book on him just like Rory would still have had the same effect.

I'm staying on the Dean topic because as I write I remember other stuffs I've read on Dean. People hate him for that episode where they basically interpret what he says as "I want a woman that stays at home and cooks for me, nothing else". There's a difference between saying "I like the idea of having my girlfriend/wife cooking for me" and saying "women should not work but rather stay home and make her life's goal to make ME happy". Like, obvisouly if you told me that I could have my boyfriend cook me dinner I would also say "yes I want, I'd love that". It doesn't mean that I consider that his goal in life should be to make me food, it just means that yes the idea of having my boyfriend cook dinner when I come home is enjoyable. That's all it means. Kinda linked to all that is people saying that he dislikes/is threatened by Rory's ambition. He's said so many times that she is smart, she is Harvard material, that he's proud etc, how can the fact that he's asking her what they'll do when she's in Harvard is a proof that he is threatened. He's actually being really smart and realistic. That's a real question that should be asked and that they should think of. And when he's unhappy that she spends the summer studying rather than spending time with him, it's normal for him to be sad not to be able to spend time with his girlfriend when he was obviously thinking "yay holidays I'll be able to spend time with my girlfriend" and is just sad not to be able to see her more often even though they're supposed to be on holidays. He's not saying she sucks and she should drop out, he's just disappointed not to be able to enjoy the holidays how he thought he would. I don't know I think a lot of things that people hate Dean for are pretty justified ones and people just make them what they're not just because #TeamJess so they have to make Dean look bad. Idk honestly I understand a lot of these things and I think I would have acted in a similar way so maybe I'm a bad person too, hate on me people.

BTW this also makes me think of Logan's "ultimatum" that people seem to hate him for. To me it wasn't an ultimatum and his proposal and the reasons behind are completely logical??? They've been in a long distance relationship for a while, I understand the fact that he doesn't want to do that again and how it would be going backwards when he's head over heels for her and he very obviously wants to spend eternity by her side. Obviously doing it when he knows he has to move to the west coast which, by saying yes would force Rory to move too, is not perfect but anyway she always wanted to be on the move so being in LA or NYC or Stars Hollow wouldnt have changed much things for her since she would be spending her time on the road for her job. Obviously her family is essential so LA is not the best choice but if, again, they would have made Rory say "wait, let's talk about it" I'm sure they would have find a solution to work things out rather than making her say no on the spot and making it look like an ultimatum.

Until now I've voiced my opinions on Rory and Dean (and a bit of Logan), I guess these are my only thoughts concerning individual characters so what I want to say before moving on to other subjects is that those flaws that you can find in characters, even making Rory cheat on Dean, I actually like it. I like that they made those choices and all the characters, even the main ones, are flawed. Because nobody's perfect so it makes them so.... Normal? Relatable. Obviously I hate the fact that Rory cheats on her boyfriend but having a main character doing something bad, being flawed, is such a strength for a show. It shows exactly that nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes, and it's alright because that's what life's about. It doesn't prevent the characters to grow and become amazing characters later on (talking about growth and becoming amazing, kudos to Jess).

3- I really regret ONE thing. The fact that they didn't use all the seasons to show Emily and Lorelai work through their problems. There's been literally no improvement in their relationship from start to finish. Actually if you consider "a year in the Life", their relationship seems to be even worse than before (but I don't really wanna talk about a year in the life because I honestly thought all the episodes were pretty depressing, and if you think 10 years are supposed to have passed.... Why are almost all the characters still stuck in the same place/situation, Rory not having a successful career (this I can understand even though it's sad, but we see a full year with no improvement?) and still having no stability in her relationships, cheating on a poor guy no one thinks or cares about and doing with Logan and Odette was she has done before with Dean... I swear why have they made these decisions). What I regret is that Emily has kind of been all along a "comic relief", not in the sense that Emily is funny but because of her mother daughter relationship with Lorelai was always the perfect occasion to have Lorelai spit a lot of funny and witty lines. And I LOVE Lorelai and her wit. But I just wish the writers would have used all these years to show improvement. Obviously there's improvement in the sense that before season 1 Lorelai went only a few days a year to her parents' place. But still, from the first to the last episode, there's been no change. Lorelai being like "ugh kill me my mother is here" and Emily being still so cold. Meeting at least once a week for 7 years should have had more of an impact on their relationship. And even though we've seen snippets of emotional scenes where you can see how hurt Emily is or this kind of stuff, there's been no real improvement (and even though the revival shows an actual will to work on their relationship, they seem to be in a worst place than ever so..... Yeah.).

4- finally I want to talk about something that really, REALLY irritated me. The fact that they would spend episodes talking about something and then we would see nothing of..... The thing, and would directly have a scene at the end of after.... The thing. I have no example right now but I noticed it happened several times. They would hype me about something I would end up seeing nothing of and I hated it. I understand that the important point is the relationship between Lorelai and Rory (so the important thing would be their conversation after the thing and what they say about it) but still when you spend episodes talking about something, please show me a little bit of it at least ;-; so what I mean is... I was irritated with the writing sometimes haha but I swear it happened several times and it was so frustrating. Overall I have often disliked they choices when it came to the writing, the decisions they made for the characters, I would definitely not be happy about what would happen..... Actually when you think about it, pretty much all my points are complaints about the writing of the characters (or like consistent writing) or their choices haha But that's what makes it crazy how they are so many things I dislike or disagree with, but i still love the show very very much. So yeah it definitely means that finding flaws or just things you disagree with doesn't make a show bad. It just means that people don't think the same way and don't expect the same things but it doesn't prevent them from enjoying and loving the show anyway

Anyway this is way too long, I have to stop babbling, it's 4am, I've been writing for what feels like 2 hours and I'm pretty sure I've even forgotten things I wanted to say. If you've read all that........ Why.... How..... Thanks? If you did drop a star emoji!

#gilmore girls

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duskodair · 5 years

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so I’ve just spent several hours compiling my eurovision top 41

it will probably change but bc i’ve done that, its going on here bc what else am i meant to do with it?

it also contains more words than i’ve written for the essays ive got due in soon but oh well

1) 10 – Norway – Spirit in the Sky – Norway have written themselves into song. I love this song so much. When the beat drops I’m never ready for it, so it always blows me away. The joik part is exceptional. Alexandra has the most beautiful voice. The northern lights aren’t the only things dancing. I could, and I have, listen to this song on repeat for hours. Every time it has the same effect as the first time.

2) 9.5 – Iceland – Hatrid Mun Sigra – this is funky from the outset. It makes me wish I spoke Icelandic. I love the juxtaposition between the rough growl and the almost angelic singing. I love the lyrics to this, I think they’re a very bold message.

3) 9 – Spain – La Venda – Whenever this starts, I automatically start smiling. This is happiness in a song and I’ve loved it since I first heard it at the national selection. I love the way he performs, you could see and hear how happy he was to be singing it. I’m not too impressed by the revamp but I do like the emphasis they’ve added to the drums.

4) 9 – Switzerland – She Got Me – this has got me dirty dancing. I love the way this sounds. I love practically every element to this song. I like the little echoes and repetitions of lyrics. I also enjoy how it is stripped back before there is a clapping section.

5) 9 – Malta – Chameleon – this is funky, and I love it. I’m not quite sure what she’s saying for most of it, but it doesn’t matter, I’m too busy dancing to it. I like the noise of the muted trumpet. I like the clapping bit.

6) 8.5 – Greece – Better Love – this is great from the start. I love her voice. I love the almost whispered backing vocals juxtaposed with an almost choral sound. This is a really good song.

7) 8.5 – Russia – Scream – another powerful ballad. He has a great voice. It’s a very dramatic song, which I can appreciate. I like how it builds as the song continues.

8) 8.5 – Albania – Ktheju Tokes – this is a very powerful song and I love the use of language in it. I really like the message behind it. It’s very intense to listen to but all the elements mesh together well. Her voice is so strong. I like the backing singers that were added in the revamp.

9) 8.5 – Israel – Home – he has a strong voice and it really fits this song. You can feel the power of the emotions behind the lyrics and I love the background singers harmonising with him. I like it.

10) 8.5 – Belgium – Wake Up – I like the tambourine. This is a nice pop song but its not exceptional. I like the way it builds through the verses. He has a nice voice. The variation between the verse and the chorus is quite nice. You can clap to it so that’s good.

11) 8.5 – Denmark – Love is Forever – I love this song – its so catchy and I love the use of language – she has a very nice voice – I also like to sing along with this one. I like the use of pizzicato in the music. Its nice to see Denmark back on their favourite song topic, love.

12) 8 – Italy – Soldi – clap clap. I like the speed with which he sings and that he varies it throughout the song. Its not as good as the last two years’ Italian entries but its still strong.

13) 8 – Netherlands – Arcade – he has a nice voice. The song sounds nice but its not especially special. His voice sounds right for the song, unlike others. I like the different levels of sound. It’s a very dramatic song. I like the clapping bit.

14) 8 – Azerbaijan – Truth – I like his use of falsetto. I also enjoy the emphasis put on ‘shut up’, that sounds really nice. It has a really good beat. I like the pause before the chorus begins.

15) 7.5 – Poland – Pali Sie – I love this song. It’s funky and I keep getting it stuck in my head. It’s a shame that they made it bilingual for Eurovision. I like the way their voices interact with the music before coming into a sort of unity for the chorus.

16) 7.5 – San Marino – Say Na Na Na – this is funky from the start. It makes you want to dance. I like all the small references to other Eurovision entries ‘love all colours of this life’ and ‘say yay yay yay’. It’s very hopeful and uplifting and I hope this does well.

17) 7.5 – Ireland – 22 – this is funky, and I’ve enjoyed it since it was released. It makes me want to dance, and I really like her voice. I like the background string instrument. The background singers are used well.

18) 7.5 – Cyprus – Replay – this doesn’t do much for me. Its fun to listen to but it reminds me too much of last year’s entry. I don’t feel anything special when I listen to it. Yes, I can, and do, dance to it but its not really for me.

19) 7.5 – Hungary – Az En Apam – He’s back! This has a cool chill feel. I like the use of language here. The whistling fits in well too. I like the unity between Joci and the backing singer for the chorus. Na na na na na…

20) 7.5 – UK – Bigger than Us – a strong power ballad. It needs a bigger start to get it away but once its going, does it go. I like the choral sounding backing vocals. I keep hearing ‘cry no more’ in it but I think that’s also just me.

21) 7.5 – North Macedonia – Proud – powerful ballad, meaningful message, great voice. I can get this stuck in my head

22) 7 – Romania – On A Sunday – it’s a chill song and I like listening to it. It has a good beat that comes in. her voice fits well with it. I like the use of echoing in the song.

23) 7 – Czech Republic – Friend of a Friend – its funky and you can definitely dance to it. I like the woman saying, ‘I’m only a friend’, I think she’s the best part of this song. It’s catchy and I think it will quite well at Eurovision.

24) 7 – France – Roi – its grown on me, but he needs to work on his live singing. It’s a shame its not all in French. This has a great message and I do like to sing along to it. He’s clearly very emotionally invested in it and the crowd love it, so good luck to him.

25) 7 – Serbia – Kruna – I like the use of Serbian in this. She has a very strong voice and I like how she alters it through the song. I like the use of the guitar to build up to the chorus.

26) 7 – Germany – Sister – I like their voices but they sound rough sometimes. I do enjoy this song though and frequently find it stuck in my head. I like the way it builds as well as the twinkly music box instrument noises.

27) 7 – Armenia – Walking Out – She has a strong voice, but I feel like this song doesn’t go anywhere. Its excitement is wasted. Even the strong chorus is futile, the song finishes and then I instantly forget it. The parts don’t feel entirely unified. But I do like the choral feel to the later parts of the song.

28) 6.5 – Austria – Limits – she has a very unique voice. I like the quiet start to the song. I like it when the background music comes in and the song begins to build, before dying back down. It puts a lot of emphasis on her voice. I would prefer if the song built up to something bigger. The small climax is nice, but is it big enough for Eurovision?

29) 6.5 – Australia – Zero Gravity – this is an interesting song and its grown on me. But the high note, for that high note she’s just screaming, and I don’t like that at all. It’s catchy and I can sing along but I’m still not attached to it. Its weird and I’m not sure if it works.

30) 6.5- Sweden – Too Late for Love – fun pop song – format feels overused Sweden – please get a new one, I’m finding it hard to differentiate between your songs – he sings well though – I like the backing singers

31) 6.5 – Slovenia – Sebi – I like the use of language but the song doesn’t really do anything for me. It has an interesting sound. It doesn’t feel like the singer particularly cares about the lyrics. I could get this stuck in my head though.

32) 6 – Finland – Look Away – I’m not sure about the singer’s voice. It just doesn’t sound right for most of the song. It’s a funky and catchy song, though, so I enjoy listening to it. Darude’s bit is very good, so that brings this song up.

33) 6 – Moldova – Stay – she has a powerful voice. I like some of the notes particularly. It builds up quite nicely.

34) 6 – Latvia – That Night – I like the melody of ‘lo-o-o-o-ve’ but some of the vocals are rough. Nevertheless, some of it is catchy – I keep mishearing ‘there is a house in New Orleans’ from the house of the rising sun in it but I think that’s just me. Quite repetitive.

35) 6 – Lithuania – Run with the Lions – weird falsetto singing in parts – catchy in parts – it’s a nice pop song but doesn’t really go anywhere

36) 6 – Croatia - The Dream – I like his voice and the bit in Croatian but he’s always singing flat out – it would sound better with variation – I do like to sing along though, which I don’t do for other songs

37) 6 – Estonia – Storm – this is quite a generic pop song. It reminds a lot of Sebalter’s song ‘Carry the Light’ and it just doesn’t do much for me. It’s more a piece of background music for me rather than a song I’d actively seek out.

38) 6 – Belarus – Like It – lots of ‘oo’. Slightly repetitive. Its an ok party pop song. I’m not enamoured with it. The chorus is quite catchy however. I’m not sure about her voice.

39) 4.5 – Portugal – Telemoveis – discordant and fragmented. I don’t understand it. It doesn’t come together as a whole for me. The pizzicato strings are interesting, but this song is just not for me at all.

40) 4 – Montenegro – Heaven – its much better with the revamp but this song still isn’t great – the new instruments move it always from the realm of total generic-ness but it’s still not ideal

41) 2 – Georgia – Sul Tsin Iare –I like the use of language but I just don’t like this song. It feels very clunky and forced – that one judge seems to love it though

#long post #eurovision #eurovision 2019 #norway #iceland #switzerland #eurovision top #if my grammar's bad in this its on me #i was busy #listening to eurovision songs #also my opinion will change but i felt like trying to sort these boys out

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batboys-and-other-messes · 6 years

Text

Names (Dick Grayson X Fem!Reader)

Requested: Yaaaaaass Request: Request for dick x reader. Reader having trouble as a new vigilante and nightwing saves the day, but the reader is kinda star struck and ends up blurting out her long time crush on the first boy wonder A/N: Listen buddy *Takes a sip from starbucks* I’ve been awake for three days when I wrote this. Words made no sense to me anymore and here is the result of that. Its completely SFW. Its also the first time I wrote something for Dick (yay). I tweaked the request a little but it should be enjoyable.

Also, shoutout to @sassyshoulderangel319 for helping me with Dick (*suggestive eye wiggle*) Word count: 1307 Warning(s): Nothing. This is pure. Tagged: @icequeen206 [You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]

-----

If there was one thing you wished people warned you about becoming a vigilante, then it was the absolutely impossible task of finding an appropriate and cool sounding name as your alias.

One that made other people go “Oh shoot, why didn’t I think of this?”

Naming things was never one of your strengths. In fact, you almost started crying in desperation whenever you had to give your Sims a name. So, giving yourself a name you would have to stick with forever was pure torture. And this time you couldn’t just use a keysmash to your advantage.

“Ah, screw this!” you finally decided after two hours of googling ‘cool sounding hero names’ in full costume before you left into the darkness.

You were just going to wing it.

---- Two weeks.

It had been two full weeks since your start as a hero, protecting the streets of Gotham. You were still nameless but had managed to get the hang of the important basics.

Firstly, Parkour was your best friend.

Secondly, you had to do a lot of running. A. Lot.

And thirdly, you looked mad good in spandex.

All in all, it were two very successful weeks. Even though you had to take a lot of punches, you managed to hold up very well against the low-profile criminals of this city.

Mostly.

“I wouldn’t do that If I were you.” you said, standing in a dark alley behind a guy that was about to do god-knows-what to this poor teenager in front of him. The girl looked scared out of her mind and the man turned around to face you, gun in hand.

He was built like an Ikea shelf and bigger than you thought was normal for a human being.

“Who the fuck are you?” the man spat, holding the gun sideways and motioning up and down at you.

“I don’t know yet,” you said in frustration. “But I am going to decide that after kicking your ass.” And with that you charged at him. A gunshot rang and the girl screamed in terror until she saw you slam the criminal against the garbage container, denting the metal in the process.

The gun laid on the ground and with one swift kick to the man’s face, he joined his weapon, unconscious.

“Hey, are you okay?” you knelt down to look at the girl. She was probably around 15 and pale as a ghost. She quickly nodded. “Th-thank you.” she said, still shaken up about what happened.

“Wow, not bad.” You heard a voice ring out. You whipped your head around and suddenly, there he was. Nightwing himself, shooting you a dazzling smile.

One so bright, that it made your whole body enter a state of complete shock.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you around here before.” He said playfully, stepping on the criminal’s hand that was shakily reaching for the gun, while never breaking eye contact with you.

You forgot how to breathe.

The girl behind you coughed, which brought you back to reality.

Right.

“Maybe I didn’t want to be seen.” You said without even knowing why.

What was that even supposed to mean? You didn’t know. You just had to say something while you reminded yourself to breathe.

There was a moment of intense eye-contact before the girl cleared her throat hesitantly.

“Uhm … Can I go home?” she finally asked and both of you looked at her.

“Ye-Yeah, of course.” You ripped yourself out of your daze. How did he do this? Maybe he was a siren? Or you were just fangirling too much.

“I can walk you home if you want to.” You said and the girl shook her head. “No, thank you. I- I live around the corner” she said before she hurriedly took her bag. She looked at the two of you warily before walking away.

Awkward.

“I didn’t catch your name before.” Nightwing spoke again and you turned around, seeing him tie the criminal up, who only groaned slightly in pain.

“I don’t have one.” You admitted. “Yet.” You added quickly, and he stood up, done with his work as he faced you.

“Well, we can’t let you run around nameless, can we?” he chuckled, and you made a weird agreeing sound. Maybe you needed to start taking holy water with you or anything that would stop this strong pull he had on you.

“Well, Jane Doe,” he flashed you another smile and you melted. “You’ve done a pretty good job for a rookie.” He said and then he clicked his tongue.

“Except, you dropped something.”

Huh?

Your eyes widened slightly as you looked at the ground. Did one of your pouches open?

“What?” you asked, confused when you didn’t see a thing.

“Your standards. Hi, I’m Nightwing.”

You looked at him for a moment before you started to laugh, genuinely and openly.

Out of all the things you thought would happen once you met your Idol, a bad pickup line was the last thing on your list.

“Ah, there it is.” You heard him say, seemingly content with the fact that he managed to get you to relax a little and see you smile.

“I know who you are, Boy Wonder.” You said with a chuckle. No need for him to introduce himself.

“You saved me once, as Robin. You were my first big crush and ever since then I wanted to become a hero too.” You explained, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before you stopped, realizing what you had just said.

Shit.

“Oh Really?” he sounded genuinely surprised at that. “When was that? I don’t think I would forget such a pretty face.”

“Just call the police, please.” You heard the criminal mumble form where he was, tied up but your attention was on the vigilante in front of you.

“Well… I… It was long ago and… It was a-uhm… a robbery. At the flower shop. My mom and I were held at gunpoint?” You explained, thanking your past self for deciding to use a mask that at least partially covered up your deep blush.

“I asked you why you are not wearing pants and you said-“

“- it makes me look cool.” He chuckled as he remembered. Then he threw his escrima stick at the robber, without looking away from you, when the man started to say something again.

“And that Crush you mentioned….” Nightwing trailed off, a shit eating grin on his face as you wanted to die right there.

You were mentally writing your last will.

You already knew what would be written on your tombstone:

HERE LIES (Y/N) (Y/L/N). THAT STUPID, SHAMELESS BITCH.

“I don’t know what you mean. You must be hearing things.” You shrugged dramatically, and he nodded at that.

“Sure. I’m -” He said but was cut off when his expression changed. You saw him look down and press a finger to his ear, apparently listening in on something. Or someone.

“Gotcha.” He said. Then he looked back up at you again.

“Sorry, Love, but duty calls.” He said as he pushed himself off the container he was leaning on.

“I gotta go but I believe he was yours anyway.” He nodded towards the criminal. Then he kicked the escrima stick up, catching it in mid-air. “Besides, I know we are going meet again soon.”

You watched him put the sticks away before he took your hand and completely surprised you by placing a kiss on the back of it, a mischievous smile on his lips.

“After all, you still need a proper name, Love.” With that he jumped to the fire escape, making his way to the roof again while you just stared after him, utterly awestruck.

You needed a name.

Right.

But you wouldn’t mind if he called you Love all day long.

#my writing #dick grayson #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #nightwing imagine #nightwing x reader #batboy imagine #I'm running out of tags #its just dick #huehuehue

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thisweekingundamwing · 6 years

Text

This Week in Gundam Wing Dec. 10th - 16th 2017!

Hello everyone! Hope your holiday season is going well!

Here’s what’s been happening in the Gundam Wing fandom this past week!

~Mod Hel.

Fanfiction:

@amberlyinviolet, @yourbloodlikewine

In This Light, Chapter 3: Eli

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12386715/chapters/28402484

Duo x OC, Trowa x OC, Solo x OC. AU, child abuse mention, Sexual Assault Mention, homophobic parents, Re-Written Characters, Drug Use, Violence, off screen murder

Duo spent the last semester working in his older brother's coffee shop. He's resigned himself to a boring spring when a stranger appears, shaking up his entire life.Eli left home last fall, choosing to spend the last six months living out of his van on his travels from the Midwest to the East Coast. By the time he arrives at Ink's, the novelty of traveling alone has started to wear off. Still, the last thing he's expecting is to meet someone who's going to change all that for him

@anaranesindanarie

Life isn’t Fair http://archiveofourown.org/works/12968199

M/M, Mystery - Relationship

mystery - Character

Death, Tears, Crying, all the feels, Mystery Characters - Freeform, you pick the characters

Life isn't fair. You don't always get a chance to say goodbye before a loved one is snatched away forever.

@chronicwhimsy

Saudade (Ch. 14) http://archiveofourown.org/works/11352189/chapters/29734539

Warnings: Underage

Relationships: Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Characters: Trowa Barton, Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner, Catherine Bloom, Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei

Additional Tags: Trowa is a good bro, Duo is a terrible bro, but he tries very hard, Confident!Quatre, circus shenanigans, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, thin line between being a good wingman and interfering, Mentions of Underage Sex, Underage Drinking, Duo and Trowa Bromance 5eva

Series: Part 1 of Slowly Moving Forwards

Summary: Wufei finally arrives in Budapest, for a brief stop that has a bigger impact than he realises.

DarkPanthress

No Other Way (Ch. 23: Snippet 2) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8219920/23/No-Other-Way

There have been a lot of clichéd stories. This is picking some clichés and just dumping them into a new version of the story. Heero needs an out from a difficult situation with Relena, and the out seems to be a fake engagement!

@duointherain

Not Quite Single (Ch. 8) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12786444/chapters/29732475

M/M, Multi

Fandoms: Gundam Wing, Captain America (Movies)

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Duo Maxwell Jr., Hilde Schbeiker, Heero Yuy, Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes

Duo has some time in Purgatory.

FireCats20

THE SIREN OF ATLANTIS (Ch. 4) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12938835/chapters/29741259

F/M, Multi

Fandoms: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Gundam Wing, Yu-Gi-Oh! Series, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V

Relationships: m/f - Relationship, M/F/M - Relationship

Characters: Kaiba Seto, Mutou Yuugi, Bakura Ryou, Marik Ishtar, Otogi Ryuuji | Duke Devlin, Heero Yuy, Quatre Raberba Winner, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Chang Wufei, Yugo (Yu-Gi-Oh), Yuto (Yu-Gi-Oh), Yuri (Yu-Gi-Oh), Sakaki Yuya, Fudou Yuusei, Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki, Johan Andersen | Jesse Anderson, Crow Hogan, Edo Phoenix | Aster Phoenix, Marufuji Ryou | Zane Truesdale, Marufuji Shou | Syrus Truesdale

Alternate Universe, BDSM, Human Trafficking, Reverse Harem, Humiliation, Rape, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Murder, Underage Sex, Underage Drinking, Past Life Flashbacks, Consensual Underage Sex, Attempted Murder, Blood Kink, Torture

HeavenMayBurn

Stranieri in terra straniera http://archiveofourown.org/works/13012710

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Relena Peacecraft

Language: Italiano

Wufei sposta lo sguardo verso i suoi amici, e vorrebbe domandargli come hanno fatto ad essere certi di fare la cosa giusta, durante quegli ultimi giorni. Vorrebbe chiedere se erano certi di appartenere al posto in cui sarebbero tornati, o se la guerra non fosse ormai entrata sotto la loro pelle.

Vorrebbe chiedere a Heero quale sia il suo posto, se davvero pensava che fosse possibile smettere di combattere per persone come loro.

@kangofu-cb

Lunch Date

https://kangofu-cb.tumblr.com/post/168506599562/lunch-date

So this is a small little, stupid thing that I’ve drummed up for @claraxbarton because Reasons and also because I’ve shamelessly stolen her theater!Trowa and… whatever it’s vaguely Christmas-y because I wanted to write something quick and festive and anyway it’s below the cut.

Warnings: cavity-inducing fluff, un-beta’d

Pairings: 2x3, because always

East of Eden (Ch. 7)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/12591796/chapters/29750499

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner, eventual - Relationship, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner, some side, Trowa Barton/Heero Yuy, and maybe some, Long Meilan/Hilde Schbeiker

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei, Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Zechs Merquise, Treize Khushrenada, Hilde Schbeiker, Long Meilan

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Fae & Fairies, Vampires, Were-Creatures, Blood and Violence, Sex, Magic, Angst, Death, Canon-Typical Violence

Chapter 7: My Religion, Mostly porn. Some explanation. Everyone gets a birthday! And porn. Loads of porn.

Kayura_sanada

By Your Side (Ch. 8) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12948579/chapters/29771868

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Sally Po, Lady Une, Relena Peacecraft

Animal Transformation, Pining, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Friendship

If Duo wants to be human again, there's a certain ingredient needed for the recipe. The pilots head out to get it.

@lifeaftermeteor

LAM snippet https://lifeaftermeteor.tumblr.com/post/168623134956/presidents-suite-brussels-belgium-26-january-208

Duo Maxwell

tw for reference to alcohol used as professional coping mechanism

LittleMouse

What Dreams May Come (Ch. 3) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12772926/chapters/29791854

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner/Heero Yuy

Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Heero Yuy, Quatre Raberba Winner, Sally Po mentioned

Flashbacks, Non-con touching, Violence, Threesome - M/M/M, Anal Sex

Part 2 of the Dreaming... series

WarCraft (Ch. 6) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12429339/chapters/29791503

F/F, F/M, M/M

Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner, Zechs Merquise, Trowa Barton, Treize Khushrenada, Hilde Schbeiker, Sally Po, Lady Une, Relena Peacecraft, Lucrezia Noin, Dorothy Catalonia, Iria Winner, Chang Meiran, Catherine Bloom, others as i go

Alternate Universe, Fantasy, Non-con touching

Luvsanime02

Engage (Ch. 8) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12458772/chapters/29667069

Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft, Zechs Merquise, Lucrezia Noin, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Duo Maxwell, Original Characters, Mariemaia Khushrenada, Dorothy Catalonia

Post-Series, Politics, Friendship, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Character Death, Government Upheaval, Language

Maldoror_Chant

The Source of All Things (Ch. 15) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12121344/chapters/29662827

M/M, Multi, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Eventual Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell, Even more eventual 1x2x5

alternative universe, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Plot Twists, fairly graphic depiction of sex, Mild description of self-harm, Mathematical Magic, weird science, crones - Freeform, Magic and Technology brawling and eventually screwing, Eventual Threesome, Kinda, Insanity of arcane origin, The universe is a pile of marbles and other dubious allegories

Freeport (Ch. 18) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12654255/chapters/29778882

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell

Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell

long ass fic ahoy, socio-politics, with violence and hot guys, Blood and Violence, no EW, Slow Burn, Case Fic

@miss-m-muses

Yippee Ki-Yay http://archiveofourown.org/works/12998766

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner

Christmas Party, First Meetings, First Kiss, Fluff, Cliche, AU

Being forced to attend a festive themed costume party was not Heero’s idea of fun. But maybe his unique costume and a new friend will make it more enjoyable...

Nomechan

Nameless (Ch. 14) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12738986/14/Nameless

Victorian Fantasy AU. When the royal family of England calls upon a team elite investigators to find the whereabouts of a missing princess, mysteries concerning the royal family, supernatural events and other court scandals will unfold, creating unexpected bonds that will be the key to overcome the greatest enemy. 01xR, 06xN, 02xH. Summary sucks but take a look R&R

@passingdestinies & @the-indomitable-bhg

CAPCOM (Ch. 1-5) http://archiveofourown.org/works/12979587?view_full_work=true

F/M, M/M, Trowa Barton/Heero Yuy, 1x3

Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton, Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Zechs Merquise, Lucrezia Noin, Sally Po, Relena Peacecraft, Treize Khushrenada, Dorothy Catalonia

Slow Burn, NASA, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Drama, Minor Character Death, Tragic Accident, Outer Space, International Space Station, Really Freaking SLOW Burn, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Lots of Footnotes

Astronaut Heero Yuy has spent months preparing to embark on his second mission to the International Space Station, but days before departure he is stricken with illness and forced to forfeit his position to his alternative, astronaut Trowa Barton. Over time Heero's animosity for his replacement transforms into respect, and then ultimately obsession. Can he maintain his professional boundaries, even with over 200 miles of atmosphere separating them?

@ransomedbard

Arbiter (Ch. 3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12855798/chapters/29775639

Duo Maxwell

Resurrection, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence of the bullets and blood variety, Dark but with humor, Resurrecting is not as great as it sounds, Thinking oh so much thinking

Relena for President

End Game https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12756343/1/End-Game

A.C. 198. When Heero approached Relena about joining her detail, she had been amenable to the idea. It didn't hurt that she harbored personal feelings for Heero, and he knew it. Not that he would ever exploit that, but it certainly made their situation all the more convenient. However, if she was hiding things from him, it was about to make their arrangement much less agreeable...

@remsyk-blog

Volunteer Work http://remsyk-blog.tumblr.com/post/168454989547/volunteer-work

Trowa, university professor and all around nice guy, volunteered to help with Midnight Breakfast, a little something the faculty does for students during finals week.

Scath Rocco Meoi

Deception (Ch. 3) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12740720/3/Deception

It started as a simple bet among friends. Dress up as a woman, go to a bar or club and get a man's phone number. He was never meant to fall in love... But then Quatre had always hated to lose. AU 1X4

Shenlong

Bound, Bonded and Betrayed (Ch. 67) http://archiveofourown.org/works/7188593/chapters/29759034

F/M, M/M, Heero Yuy/Duo Maxwell, Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Treize Khushrenada/Lady Une

Chang Wufei, Zechs Merquise, Hilde Schbeiker, Dorothy Catalonia, Lucrezia Noin, Sally Po

Sap, Angst, Bondage, Slavery, Yaoi, Lemon, Lime, Het, Violence, Fluff, AU, OOC. - Freeform

Shinigamiinochi

A Stagnation of Love (rewrite) (Ch 70: Chapter 8, Part 25) http://archiveofourown.org/works/2490005/chapters/29750241

F/M, M/M, Heero Yuy/Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner/Trowa Barton, Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy/Relena Darlian, OC/Duo Maxwell

Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Relena Darlian, Zechs

Child Abuse, Bullying, Angst, Suicide, Incest, Alternate Universe

SmallSound

Two Truths and A Lie (Ch. 3) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12748596/3/Two-Truths-and-A-Lie

Heero and Duo find some time to assess their relationships while alone on a cleaning shuttle during a cleaning mission in the L3 sector. Mostly a character exploration, 1x2 potentially 1x2x3 in the future.

Sunhawk16

Go http://archiveofourown.org/works/12978021

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton

POV Heero Yuy

Junk Fic http://archiveofourown.org/works/12978456

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei

POV Heero Yuy

Veggie Tales II http://archiveofourown.org/works/12977856/chapters/29668704

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

POV Heero Yuy

Ion Vignette http://archiveofourown.org/works/12978339

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

Bagels http://archiveofourown.org/works/12978219

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Hilde Schbeiker

POV Heero Yuy, Implied/Referenced Suicide

Moonlight http://archiveofourown.org/works/12978120

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

POV Duo Maxwell

Hush http://archiveofourown.org/works/12978402

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

Light Angst, POV Duo Maxwell

xX_Rabble_Rouser_Xx

Life After Gundam (Ch. 3) http://archiveofourown.org/works/10873356/chapters/29659143

F/M, Duo Maxwell/OC

Duo Maxwell, OC (female)

Fluff, Domestic Fluff

A series of one-shots taking place post-Endless Waltz in the lives of the former pilots, soldiers, politicians, and civilians. A grab bag of characters, relationships, themes, and subject matter. No defined timeline or storyline.

Zennelia

Hinter dem Horizont (Ch. 9) http://archiveofourown.org/works/10336529/chapters/29675979

F/M, Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy

Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft, Duo Maxwell, Zechs Merquise, Original Characters

Family, Hurt/Comfort, Philosophy, Drama, Post-War, Preventers (Gundam Wing), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure, Medical, Fluff, Romance, Post-Endless Waltz, Post-Canon, Real Life, Friendship, Character Death, Character Development

The raw manifestation of the disease bore into Duo's very eyes and mind and he witnessed the other side of Heero which made him as he was.

Fanart:

BlackManaBurning

https://blackmanaburning.deviantart.com/art/Always-Accepting-Custom-Requests-Glass-Charms-719885849

Glass Charms, WuFei Chang

@donitkitt

http://donitkitt.tumblr.com/post/168414668751/overly-optimistic-and-loud-and-his-quiet-reserved

Duo/WuFei

http://donitkitt.tumblr.com/post/168409284451/doodle-a-wufeiei

WuFei Chang

@elfbingo

http://elfbingo.tumblr.com/post/168595327835/commission-done-for-gw-ficrecfriday-of-one-of-my

Quatre and Heero

@gundamwingafterdark

https://gundamwingafterdark.tumblr.com/post/168574587210/treize-x-heero-watercolor-painted-on-watercolor

Heero/Treize, NSFW

@kangofu-cb

https://kangofu-cb.tumblr.com/post/168455634757/for-chronicwhimsy-who-is-amazing

WuFei/Duo

Leodin96

https://leodin96.deviantart.com/art/ORX-000-Origin-Gundam-720286774

Wing Gundam

Liza-lunashine

https://liza-lunashine.deviantart.com/art/Death-scythe-hell-Gaito-719394873

Deathscythe crossover art

Murumokirby360

https://murumokirby360.deviantart.com/art/Colored-Sketched-013-Gundam-Deathscythe-Hell-Head-719907525

Deathscythe Hell headshot

@risingwinter

http://risingwinter.tumblr.com/post/168484046614/ugh-these-were-such-pain-but-hey-this-dead

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Winner, WuFei Chang

Seraphiczero

https://seraphiczero.deviantart.com/art/Hi-Resolution-Wing-Gundam-Zero-EW-4-719950596

https://seraphiczero.deviantart.com/art/Hi-Resolution-Wing-Gundam-Zero-EW-3-719950320

https://seraphiczero.deviantart.com/art/Hi-Resolution-Wing-Gundam-Zero-EW-2-719949874

https://seraphiczero.deviantart.com/art/Hi-Resolution-Wing-Gundam-Zero-EW-1-719949373

Wing Zero, model

@viewtiful-jojo Operation Meatier

Mobile Suit Abridged: Gundam Wing! (Episode 3 is in the works!)

Episode 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GK1SeYH2kYg&feature=youtu.be

Episode 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_WaXjuXEIE&feature=youtu.be

Photosets/Screenshots:

@vegalume

https://gundamwingarchive.wixsite.com/fanfiction/gw-pics-w-invader-zim-quotes

All of the Invader Zim quotes on Gundam Wing screenshots.

Photo Prompts/Prompts:

@remsyk-blog

Never Skip Leg Day http://remsyk-blog.tumblr.com/post/168594337012/ladies-and-gentlemen-i-present-to-you-another

Duo asks Heero an important question, for a friend.

@the-indomitable-bhg

“Pick your pairing” https://the-indomitable-bhg.tumblr.com/post/168397938287/slashyflightsuit-pick-your-pairing-fic-im

Heero/Duo

Not what you’re expecting, but cute!

@yuy-heero

https://yuy-heero.tumblr.com/post/168529108564/whats-wrong-trowa-paused-in-the-middle-of

Photo prompt, 1X3 cuteness

Chats/Dialogues/Discussions:

@lelola

http://lelola.tumblr.com/post/168401428290/i-love-that-relenas-the-one-catches-heero-both

Relena catching Heero

Calendar Events:

@gw-evewar

GW Eve War Event https://gw-evewar.tumblr.com/post/164079261510/an-open-gundam-wing-fandom-community-science

Post works (Saturday) December 23, 2017 - (Sunday) December 24, 2017

@gwsecretsantaexchange

Secret Gundam Santa https://gwsecretsantaexchange.tumblr.com/post/167303149500/gundam-wing-secret-santa-2017

Gundam Santa gifts due for posting December 20-25!

@thisweekingundamevents

Cocktail Fridays!

#This Week in Gundam Wing #thisweekingundamwing #Gundam Wing #December 10-16 2017 #weekly roundup

30 notes · View notes

thewrongjackpot · 4 years

Text

It’s been a hot minute

**Warning: this is LONG. This is an update to cover several months**

My bad, it's been a while. I thought I would have been better about this but… ya know… cancer is one hell of a female dog. Ha. So here we are several months down the line, I think my last post was in March or April, and it's now mid-August. "What's going on? You haven't updated us in forever!", said noone. Well I'll give you a "brief" medical update first. Then, we'll see where this goes.

When we last left off… I was home with a G- tube placed and chemo and M-F radiation were still going on. (Mid-March) About two weeks after my last hospital discharge, I went back in for pain from the compounding radiation side effects. The mucositis in my mouth and throat made it so drinking anything was painful, hence the G tube coming in handy, a lot more convenient I think than the NG tube that was in my nose. I also was developing radiation burns along my neck that were really raw (I have pictures of you'd like to see lol). I was just in pain. I ended up staying for exactly a month. At that time, I thought I was going to be able to get a port but ended up with what I believe was my third PICC line. Also, my mom went back to Hawaii during this time due to COVID and worries about her travel back home at some other time. This brings us to Mid-April, most things are generally status quo, I'm doing my feeds, meds, and then started PT. Being in the hospital so much caused a lot of my muscles to atrophy compounded with one of my chemo meds causing neuropathy in my toes and some in my finger tips. Basically, my ability to walk was affected, and I needed some PT and also some braces to wear at home to stretch my ankles to regain range of motion so I wouldn't fall on my dumb face (like I have a couple times at this point, nothing major, but definitely was not stable). I later got braces for walking so I didn't fall on my dumb face and could safely walk around. Early June, I was finally able to get a port placed (yay!). It's so much more convenient, less maintenance, and just less to think about altogether. Around mid-June I went back in for almost four weeks for different pain management reasons. The balloon on the inside of my G-tube was going into my skin, so I had excruciating abdominal pain. They had to place a new G-tube, and messed up details aside, it was the most painful thing I ever went through. I was legitimately crying during the entire procedure, and let's just say some doctors got written up. Anyways, at least this time around I got PT while in the hospital because I didn't know that was a thing prior. Although, during this time, I also developed neuropathic pain in my feet. Before, it was just numb/tingly, but now there was actual pain associated with it when I took a step/put any pressure on my feet. They pulled the criminal chemo drug for several weeks to let that subside and so I could improve my walking. It was early July, I was back out, and since been out. So where does that currently leave me? I’m at home with most things being status quo. I have weekly chemo, PT every other week, at home daily meds, feeds, and at home PT. However, to give you a little better idea of what I deal with daily here are the main issues I’m currently grappling with:

I can barely open my mouth maybe a centimeter, if that. So I still can’t eat. Although, I think that if I could open my mouth more, I could actually eat something. Also, this makes it so I can't really talk either.

My walking is still fairly unstable. I can’t go outside without putting on my braces.

I’m still having secretions while I sleep. Hence, I can’t sleep straight through the night nor on my back/flat (although, I’m sleeping more than before).

I’m coughing up periodically, and there’s little pieces of the tumor that come out when I do so.

It’s not too bad now. I generally know how to deal with these items or what to do to improve them. But it’s like I have to drink water over the sink because I cough up afterwards and have to spit some back out. I have to mentally prepare myself for something as simple as drinking water. There was a time my secretions were bloody overnight, and later the next day, I coughed up this big bloody piece (I also have a gross photo of this). I didn’t drink any water for a couple of days because I didn’t want to swallow anything like that or blood. My feeds cover my fluid intake as as well, so I can technically go without drinking anything. That��s just an example of a fun side effect of the side effects. This is kind of where it leaves me as far as a medical update goes.

Okay, that’s all cool, but how are you actually doing through all of this? Good question, stranger! Right now, I’m generally okay. I actually tried to write updates, but I never finished them. One of them was particularly sad for me when I was rereading it. I want to say around the end of May through the first half of June, I was hitting one of my bigger lows. I was feeling very overwhelmed and extremely unmotivated. I barely could muster up energy and motivation for work, even when I dropped to more part-time hours. I was absolutely sick and tired of being sick and tired. My energy level was extremely low. I wanted to just sleep all day. I was losing weight because I wasn’t doing my feeds, and at one point I was going through withdrawal symptoms from the pain meds because I just didn’t want to get up and take it. At this time, I was doing continuous feeds, so I was basically connected to my pump 24/7 or at least supposed to be. I would go about 8-12 hours some days not running any feeds, so I wasn’t getting close to the calorie intake I was supposed to be. I hated being attached to my backpack (with my feeds in it) all the time. It was a constant reminder that 1. I can’t eat anything and 2. I’m not right. That compounded with all the meds I needed to take, work, and all the PT I needed to be doing, I couldn’t take it. I was getting really down about it because I had no real idea of when all this would end, and all of this was just a constant reminder that I’m sick. I absolutely hated it. I hated being sick. I hated that things weren’t normal, that I didn’t look normal. Yeah, there was a lot of progress and shrinkage, especially after radiation, but the more I would look and see that I’m still nothing close to what I once was. My doctors noticed I wasn’t as chipper during visits and recommended me to a therapist. That helped some. I only saw her a couple of times. The two biggest game changers for me were actually that they switched my feeds to a bolus schedule (larger spread out doses) and they prescribed me Ritalin. The bolus schedule for my feeds made it so I was disconnected a lot more of the time, and the Ritalin gave me more energy in my day to focus on various things, like work or household duties. For the most part, up until very recently, I've genuinely been as okay in this situation as possible.

Recently, maybe the last week or two I've generally been more down. It kind of kick started when watching a show on Netflix (I won't name it so what I say won't ruin it). In the show the dad's cancer comes back, and he dies. I was crying during like three episodes straight. It sparked fear of the future that I won't survive this cancer, in that it'll come back and just take me. And that's already jumping ahead of just getting through it now. It sparked a lot of thoughts about death and just hoping I don't go too soon. I mean, I know people die everyday by even the smallest things, but this is an added hazard to my life. I feel that I still have so much left to give, so much love to give that I can't go yet. I know things have been getting better for me, but death still crosses my mind, especially with treatment probably coming to a close soon.

With that said, yes treatment is potentially ending soon, which most people would view as a good thing, but it has only made my anxiety worse. I just had new scans done this past Wednesday, and I meet with the doctors on Monday to discuss the results. Right now, they're thinking at least three more weeks of chemo, then that might be it for treatment. As it stands right now, I know that there are still parts of the tumor left in my body, and I feel like three weeks more won't take it all away. The doctors say that whatever tumor is left should be dead, so it's just the dead tumor left in my head. My anxiety has been worse as this is coming to a close because I'm worrying about my life moving forward. One of the things is about whether or not I'll have surgery to remove whatever dead tumor is left. Initially, they were saying surgery was most likely not going to happen because of the areas the tumor has made it to. But with previous scans, they have taken it to the ENT surgeons, and they said it may be possible. They're going to talk to them again with these new scans and see what they say. Location is still a big issue with this. The big dilemma in all of this is what will end up being the best choice for my future quality of life. The flip side of no surgery is that I'd be living with dead tumor in my face. Even with that, how do they know it's all dead? Would that be the reason for my future demise? My anxiety levels have been through the roof while waiting to meet with the doctors after these scans, and I'm sure after meeting with them I'll have a new set of items to be anxious about. Even now I'm like, will I be able to ever open my mouth normally? If I won't, will I just be tube feeding for the rest of my life? Is the numbness in my face going to be permanent? Is my impacted hearing in my left ear going to be permanent? Is my left eye going to keep getting worse? How long until I can walk normally on my own again? All these questions regarding the side effects of the tumor and all the treatment are starting to hit me harder as treatment is ending. I'm starting to think about the future and what this all means for my quality of life. If I can't eat again, just take me now, it's not worth it (I'm just kidding… maybe?). So much has been weighing on me lately, and I'm trying my best to not think about it as much, but it's so hard. I haven't been sleeping as well because of it either, but I'm trying to be present in the moment and live day to day.

Although, I'm absolutely grateful for all of those a part of my support system. They have been extremely and amazingly helpful for me, honorable mention goes out to my brother. In this, he's been one of the most supportive people for me. I can always count on him to cheer me up when I'm down while still acknowledging all I'm going through. I'm so grateful to have him in my life. Just all the people I'm surrounded with, there's so much love and support and people in my corner rooting for me. It helps me rally when I'm down. I still have so much left I want to do with my life, so much I want to contribute. It's hopefully not my time any time soon.

With that, thanks if you made it through the whole thing, I know it was long. Till next time, hopefully it won't be as spread out or as long.

#cancer #cancersucks #rhabdomyosarcoma #rambling #chemo #chemotherapy #radiation #life update

0 notes

echoeternally · 7 years

Note

So, what made you choose the characters (Pokemon?) you did specifically, as well as the ships included? Are they any particular reasons you ship certain characters together and some going single?

Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked this before. I like this question!

This will probably be a long post too, so brace yourself!

+ Sneakpast was chosen as the lead couple because I was originally planning on writing just a one-shot between Greninja and Chesnaught. The last two chapters of BAF were originally meant to be one thing (starting from Greninja and Chesnaught being alone together in Chapter 9), and it was mostly just a couple that I liked from art I found online, so I wanted to try them out for myself. Then I wanted to add details, and asked questions like, “How did they get here? What makes them act this way?”That expanded their roles, what I wanted them to do, and why I fleshed them out more. The idea of a shy ninja and a friendly yet cautious knight seemed cute to me, and these two fit a nice combination. Plus, I was working on my Mario fanfic, ENY, and after having written scenes in Bowser’s Castle, I wanted to spend more time within castles, and medieval stuff in general. So, I just kept up until the story came out as it did. It’s a little harder to tell at the moment, but Sneakpast will remain the lead characters for the series, which I decided to tell in 4 stories. Something about working with this couple clicks nicely.

+ Having two thirds of the Kalos trio without the third would have been foolish, so I immediately knew that one of the first supporting characters would be Delphox. However, I know that a lot of its popularity as a species is…well, based solely on appearance, and even that is out-classed by its prior evolution. (Which was furthered by Pokken Tournament, yay!) Specifically with Delphox, I was kind of bored by the whole “designated female starter” role that it was forced into. So, I determined immediately that Delphox would be a male, and decided to make him annoyed with constantly being seen as a female based only on his appearance. Because I knew I was including him initially to complete my Kalos trio, I decided to leave him single, and basically poke fun at the idea that I made him a third wheel. And I did this twice over, since he can be a third wheel with Gardevoir and Gallade as well, though Gallade would contest that. However, as I was writing out his increased role in the plans for MGR, I wanted to explore some of his feelings regarding being left on his own. He’s too proud to really explore it with anyone, but he’s honestly burdened by being that third wheel. It made a great parallel to how there’s always a Pokemon left behind in the core series, or one that gets less attention than the other two. Coupled with these feelings and others mistaking his gender, Delphox’s bitter personality was easy to develop. There’s more to come going forward with him in particular, so I’m excited to explore him more alongside Sneakpast.

+ My initial thought for writing a medieval fantasy that I fleshed out was to include a king and queen. I didn’t even have to think when my mind immediately gravitated to Nidoking and Nidoqueen, and they were going to be the first characters included in the story behind the Kalos trio. It was a classic, staple pairing that enough people enjoyed. However, I stopped myself before I ever really wrote out their roles. Nidoking/Nidoqueen (RegalShipping) was a common pairing, and a very known one at that. It would be too easy to just slap them in, and I wanted to challenge myself with how I looked at older Pokemon in particular. These two are constantly seen as a couple, but I wanted to know what would happen if something got in the way of that idea. And I liked searching for alternative options, so I did just that for both of them. Between the two, I decided on Nidoking to be the more important, because I did want that senior character that Greninja and Chesnaught could relate to, and if they were a gay couple, I knew that it would be easier for them to go to a male that would be in a relationship with another male himself. So, Nidoking’s prominence won out, and by the time I worked out how that role would be, I realized that Nidoqueen wouldn’t be very important as a character in the beginning. And then it hit me: what if Nidoking and Nidoqueen weren’t separated by choice? That idea had me come up with what will become something harrowing as the series continues: Nidoqueen’s premature death.

+ Rhydon was a Pokemon that I was absolutely set on including as I read up on Pokemon’s history. The first Pokemon created, and it was typically left regulated on the sidelines or left fairly forgotten by the creators and the fandom overall? Not going to fly with me. I knew early on that I wanted his role to be prominent, another that would definitely interact with Sneakpast, and decided to have him as one of the notable roles. Hence why I decided on him becoming a general to the army that both Chesnaught and Greninja worked with. Working on his role along with Nidoking’s made me want them to have a close relationship from the start. As soon as I decided that Nidoking would be without Nidoqueen, it was a really easy transition to Rhydon becoming his new love interest. It fit symbiotically with Nidoking’s role, and having two seniors for the main couple to look to for guidance was especially helpful, as it provided flexibility in what advice they would receive. Rhydon in particular has been fun to develop, because as I continued with writing out the story behind him, Nidoking, and Nidoqueen, I liked having him as the odd one out behind all the stories, loosely reflecting on his should-be prominence for the Pokemon series. Since he was Nidoking’s friend since childhood, I knew that he would be in the castle, and I ultimately made him a butler’s son, which is why he can be so worried about things being perfect with Nidoking, as well as trying to be diligent in his role as a general. After that, I wrote out how his relationship with Nidoking would flow, in that Nidoking would have had a lot of lovers before settling on Nidoqueen, and never having noticed Rhydon’s quiet pining for him as years went by. This is only glossed over at the current part of the stories that I’ve written so far, but there is a lot of underlying tension between DrillShipping to come.

And that’s already 5 (technically 6) characters that I’ve included before the cut, which makes this a super long post. So, time to add in that “read more” label just below this, hooray!

Ok, if you’re eager to know some more about the rest, here goes! And be wary of possible spoilers; I tried to avoid telling them, but no promises!

+ Gardevoir was included as a foil for Delphox. Unlike Delphox, I consider the species to be forever regulated as female, because of a male given evolution in Gallade. So, I liked the idea of her being the one to contrast Delphox in several ways: comfortable with her feminine appearance, enjoys the attention that potential suitors give her, having a particular relationship that gives her a stability that Delphox doesn’t know, and the cheerful disposition to offset Delphox’s bitterness. She would be everything he couldn’t be: secure with herself. And originally, the magic shenanigans the two get into were originally going to be directed at them fighting with one another. However, I didn’t like that Delphox’s foil was going to be such an easily reviled role. And I thought, “What if they were friends?” And then I furthered that idea, in which they wouldn’t hate each other, and that Delphox would be even further in Gardevoir’s shadow because he couldn’t really dislike her. So, instead of being rivals, I made them childhood friends. And instead of being the one thing that she likes to go against, I made Gardevoir’s bigger weakness become Delphox. Any time they weren’t together, she’d feel something missing, and her seemingly perfect life would be incomplete without someone that grounds her more than she’d ever admit.

+ Gallade was part of the packaged deal for Gardevoir always, since I did want at least one pair that would be considered “classic” or “typical” by the audience. Given Gardevoir’s original role, his was easily set as being her perfect boyfriend, and a consistent support role that Delphox would grow to envy never having. Being a higher ranking noble added to perks that Gardevoir would receive, and increased the gap between them and Delphox. Initially, when I switched the role for Gardevoir from rival to friend, I didn’t do much to change Gallade. However, as I continued to work it out, and as I’m writing now, I’ve realized that a fun idea would be a sort of shift between the third wheel balance that rests between this trio. Gardevoir and Delphox’s longtime friendship was something that Gallade never really got to know about them, and matters that concern the two mages typically don’t involve him. Coupled with him not immediately being from the main castle of the kingdom, I liked the idea of him awkwardly trying to fit in with Gardevoir and her friends, which will be more evident as the story continues.

+ Bisharp was one of the first Pokemon I gravitated to when I was selecting knights for the first kingdom. He was an easy fit for the appearance, so that part of his selection was easy. His original role was to be Chesnaught’s loyal friend, basically his go-to ally under all kinds of situations. Readers have seen shades of this in BAF, but it’s effectively gone by MGR. Originally, I was going to have Bisharp be constantly in Chesnaught’s corner. However, when I had finished BAF, I realized that having Bisharp as Chesnaught’s friend wouldn’t really be effective with his falling out of the other knights. After all, he was relatively supportive in BAF, and having him continue that in the second story wouldn’t have made Chesnaught feel like something was lacking; sure, his support with the other knights would have withered, but his main friend would still be there. That didn’t sit right with how I wanted Chesnaught’s position to develop, as I wanted there to be a falling out for him with essentially all of the other knights.So, not even Bisharp would stand by him after he publicly revealed his interest in Greninja. It’s partially reflective of how a gay person in real life doesn’t always keep the friends they have, as some are just too ignorant to understand. Furthermore, I liked having two characters that were friends suddenly not be anymore, because that’s kind of a rift that happens universally with people in life. His contrast with Lilligant, who ends up being that loyal friend to Chesnaught, is something that’s bubbling in MGR. And his role will be increased in the third story, so expect to see more of him.

+ Lilligant was part of the original story, as the female love interest that Greninja assumed Chesnaught was interested in. Her role was originally going to be as simple as that, being another friend of Chesnaught’s that was supportive of him and understanding of his romantic interests. Contrasting Bisharp from the beginning, she was the calmer friend, the one that would really listen to Chesnaught when he needed. It was a role that she could provide that Bisharp couldn’t, as a civilian character wouldn’t need to concentrate as deeply on training or combat, and therefore could take more time to spend with her friend. Greninja would see her as a rival for Chesnaught’s affections, to which she was never interested in to begin with. This role was carried through my development, which is how she appeared in BAF. Continuing the story, I wanted Lilligant to be utilized more, and I thought I was going to be satisfied by making her a counter to Bisharp. Whereas he would waver in his friendship, Lilligant would become more supportive to Chesnaught. As I was writing up plans for MGR, I realized that her role as a civilian would be interesting to have, but made little sense if I continued to have her in the story. After all, what place would a town girl have when an army goes marching? It has been done before, and having her tag along could be played logically, with enough thought. But I didn’t like her just being a cheerleader on the sidelines, and wanted her to have an active role, even if she’s out of place in fighting. So, as I worked out the continuing story, Lilligant would become a member of the army, though rather unofficially for now. Her romantic interests are something that I’ve hinted at through her appearance in MGR, but will finally get attention in the third story.

+ Typhlosion was originally the bully of the lot, as he was in BAF. After I settled on the kingdom being mostly reflective of the Grass and Bug types, I liked having a Fire type as one that picks on those weaker around him, because of obvious type advantages. The roster that appears around him reflects this, as he has an advantage against: Chesnaught, Escavalier, Accelgor, Scizor, and Heracross, with Lilligant and other civilians being bonus targets. Coincidentally, Bisharp was also an easy target for him, leaving him in a powerful position prior to Greninja’s arrival. However, I didn’t like the idea of a character just being mean for fun, and wanted there to be depth behind his actions. Furthermore, I didn’t like Typhlosion having a higher position from the other knights just because of that type advantage, as it wouldn’t feel like he ever earned it. Instead, I shifted his role as one that others wouldn’t respect much at all, since he was so crass and annoying, as well as lazy by relying on his Fire typing to help him win battles against them. By the time BAF was written out, he ended up as something of that bully role, but a far cry from being so effective against those he should easily outclass. This, however, is being traded off in favor of a more complicated role in MGR. When I decided against keeping Bisharp on Chesnaught’s side, and creating the rift between the knights, I was originally going to keep that throughout for the knights. But, I was writing Typhlosion’s role, which was literally on a 1:1 comparison to Chesnaught’s at that point. And I thought, “Well, I could have him continue to be that foil…or, I could do what I wanted to do earlier on.” What I wanted to do later with Typhlosion was prove that he wasn’t such a bad guy after all, and that he would befriend the others later in the series. But as a fellow outcast from the knights, it was easy to have him upgrade his role early on, and he quickly fit into the main group. His love interests will be explained by the end of MGR, which have mostly been identified by the audience. His other issues will continue to be addressed in the third story, as he’s far from done with them. Though, expect his role as a bully to have basically evaporated.

+ Samurott came to be after I realized that I wanted two things: a friend for Greninja, and a foil to both Chesnaught and Typhlosion. When I decided that Typhlosion wasn’t going to be very respected among the knights, Samurott’s role was easily upgraded to counter it. As a Fire type that floundered in an environment that favored his typing, I liked the idea of a Water type that would excel in an environment that went against his typing. His relationship as Typhlosion’s foil wasn’t going to net him much attention, so I wanted to make him one with Chesnaught as well. Hence, he’s more forward with his thoughts and desires than Chesnaught ever could be, and him being terrible at keeping secrets to contrast with Chesnaught’s keeping his sexuality a secret. Plus, he’s held a bit above the other knights due to his proficient skills, whereas Chesnaught’s favoritism comes from his friendliness, so that only adds to their differences. One thing I wanted to contrast between his relationship to Chesnaught and Typhlosion was that Samurott actually liked Chesnaught, whereas he wouldn’t be very kind around Typhlosion (if you haven’t guessed yet, that idea had quickly fallen apart). His biggest relationship, however, I wanted to be with Greninja. Very early, I was just going to make him the equivalent to Bisharp, being Greninja’s loyal friend in spite of anything. I liked the idea of him being from a foreign kingdom, and that having Greninja around would make him feel less isolated with the other knights, finding someone so similar to him. However, as I was writing, I liked the spot of tension that originally came from their meeting, in which Greninja was originally annoyed by Samurott’s sudden assistance with an issue, though quickly quelled by the samurai’s kindness and appearance. Considering that he wasn’t in a relationship with Chesnaught at the time, I liked that Greninja would have other crushes on knights, and Samurott to be the lead of them next to Chesnaught. But, what I grew to like more, was Samurott’s own interests in Greninja, and a struggle between being friends and something more. So, he was the one that pushed having romantic feelings for Greninja instead, who had literally just barely missed the chance to have had a relationship with Samurott, ultimately because of Samurott’s hesitation. As the story continues, Samurott still harbors feelings for Greninja, but he will continue to choose between wanting the ninja as his lover or if he’ll be satisfied with him as a friend. His feelings of being isolated in a crowd are slightly expanded, and provides a new way that he can relate to others with such feelings. The end of MGR will explore where that’s going, and the third story will have him confront his overall messy relationships.

+ Accelgor is Greninja’s partner ninja, and a friend of his. Her relationship with Escavalier is one that I wanted to try out, in which a married couple would be around with the main cast. I haven’t immediately gotten to everything that I have wanted to with her, so I can’t explain much here yet. Accelgor and Escavalier will have increased roles in the third story, so I’m holding off on both of them. Her pairing with Escavalier was my initial attempt at developing a relationship behind Pokemon that concerned trade evolutions, and I thought they’d be the best to start with. Married couples are something that are typically lacking in romance stories, so I wanted one that would be around for the duration, and one that wasn’t immediately regulated into a “parents only” role. She will have shades of that in her role, but I consider her as more of an aunt or older sister to Greninja. Escavalier is the other half to the relationship, and he’ll play into somewhat of an uncle figure to Chesnaught and Greninja. He’s an expert knight, but kind of bumbles around with his relationship to his wife, which is seen in BAF. He means well, and he wants his wife to be happy above all else. He’s another senior to the knights, and though younger than Nidoking and Rhydon, he’s certainly up there in age with them, with Accelgor herself not being very far behind. His character will be developed more in the third story as well, but his relationship with Accelgor will be probably the most stable among every other couple featured in the story.

+ Scizor was intended to be the cool and collected knight on the roster, which is noticeable from his original appearance in the first chapter of BAF. He’s quick to dismiss Typhlosion’s attempts to get into a fight with newcomers, and doesn’t get pressured into it. He was mostly left forgotten after that, however, as his role wasn’t really meant to be explored in the first story. Because of Typhlosion’s role shift, as well as the knights forsaking Chesnaught because of his romantic interests, Scizor was left as more a defacto leader among his fellow knights. He’s struggling to keep his allies focused on coming threats, and because he’s not a fan of homosexuality, he seems to have absorbed Typhlosion’s role as a bully for the duration of MGR. This, however, will not remain, as Scizor’s role will become all the more clear as the story continues. Unlike the other characters, his primary relationship will not be a romantic one. This will begin by the end of MGR, and will continue through in the third story.

+ Armaldo is one of two lackey type of knights, and the more frequently occurring of them. He’s a bit more uneasy under pressure, and typically folds when one of the other knights pressure him. Though he means well with his intentions, he’s still prone to making bad choices, such as teaming with Typhlosion against the new ninjas in BAF, and following Scizor’s bigotry in MGR. In the third and fourth stories, he’ll learn some new things about himself. Heracross is the other lackey between the two, and has less prominence. I liked the idea of a scout and messenger role for each kingdom, and I liked Heracross as one for Nidoking’s kingdom. So, unlike Armaldo, he’s more comfortable with being used by others, and can even roll along with it. Among the cast overall, he’s been the least developed character, and likely will remain that way for the four stories. Though, he will have more to do than just tag along, so expect more for him.

+ Golurk was a fun concept that I wanted to try out. I like the idea of a giant character around, and being physically out of place compared to the other characters that only feel like they’re out of place. He’s not going to have the same dynamic as any other character, again not motivated by love interests, and will speak less than most overall. Though his role seems like it will be a utility, he’ll have much more to work with in the third story, and a very critical role in the fourth. Golurk is basically going to be the sleeper character that seems like he’s just there, but will have more revealed by the end of it all.

+ Other characters beyond this core group are minor comparatively in the kingdom, at least for now. Their roles are regulated to their supportive roles, and will serve more to help other characters develop or to help advance the plot. However, among those introduced, there are at least two among them that are planned to have their roles expanded and fully realized in the third story. Each first appeared in MGR, as a slight hint.

= The very first thing that I wanted from the Iceberg Empire was a couple that would relate to Chesnaught and Greninja. I wanted a pair that could both be worse and better than Sneakpast. So, I knew right away that I wanted two characters who would start as friends, have a harsh fallout, and ultimately return to one another as lovers. I went over Pokemon that I liked, and picked out Machamp and Alakazam. Since I hadn’t explored the trade relationship for Accelgor and Escavalier, I decided that another aspect of that would be good. I also really wanted a pair that featured one half as really strong, and the other as really smart. When I was developing them, I figured it was a cliche duo that had been written before, and figured that someone, somewhere, surely featured such a basic, cookie-cutter pairing that’s literally been around since Generation 1 of Pokemon. You can only imagine my initial dismay when I found that this was a couple that essentially no one had thought of before. Suddenly, I became very excited by having chosen the two together, as they would be an easy couple to roll into, and one that no one ever paid any mind to before. They fit the role that compared and contrasted to Sneakpast better than I could have ever imagined. Readers have seen Alakazam and Machamp’s shaky relationship at its worst already, and they’ve seen the two get together and become happier. What’s coming up is how well they will work together.

= Empoleon as the Iceberg Emperor was an easy choice. Penguin for the arctic region with the word “emperor” as part of his name. Slam dunk simplicity at its finest. As the second leader to be introduced between the four major kingdoms, I wanted him to have similarities and differences to Nidoking. Both are wise, and present a fair amount of wisdom to share with their soldiers. Both, however, are also open to learning from their soldiers as well. Yet, I wanted this to be contested, in which Empoleon wouldn’t be as easily swayed or as open as Nidoking. So, he would be a lot more firm with his soldiers, and though open to learn from them, he would be more distant. Unlike Nidoking, who tackles situations head-on and lives in the present, Empoleon is more of a strategist, wanting to be thinking of the future and being steps ahead of his adversaries. This combination wired him for a relationship that would see a reactionary development to Nidoking’s own misfortunes, in which he would hide away his wife so as to not face the same sorrows that Nidoking barely made it through. As MGR continues, he’ll soften to his soldiers still, and continue to teach Greninja and Chesnaught more about the world overall. He’s a nice teacher role, and he has hopes to see his wife and child again. So far, with Mewtwo not being the Prophet of legend, things seem to be going his way…

= Abomasnow continues my trend of choices based on environment. Big, massive, angry yeti-tree. Sounds like the ideal general figure for the Empire to me! Reflecting Empoleon’s contrasts to Nidoking, Abomasnow’s personality develops to contrast with Rhydon. Unlike Rhydon, who is warmer toward his knights in spite of needing to be their leader, Abomasnow is harsh, dolling out punishments where he sees fit, and looking to root out the weakest on his line-up as opposed to making weak links stronger. Like Rhydon, he has favorites based on similarities to him, and likes his strong bear soldiers, as well as Golduck. Though he has a very tough exterior, he does care about his knights deep down. His development in a strict but cold personality was developed because he’s already lost soldiers under his guidance, and he’s more than fed up with it before the Kalos trio even arrived. A tough love kind of character, he’s slowly letting his guard down again after the incident of the Frozen Fields and the discovery of Mewtwo. He’s just…not quite as soft about it.

= Froslass was originally intended to be Alakazam’s answer to Delphox’s Gardevoir, in terms of a giggly and cheery mage partner. However, since his main relationship is focused on Machamp, and the pair would become foils to Sneakpast, there was little room for Froslass to be Alakazam’s friend. Instead, she ended up playing this role with Weavile, who is actually a lot less open with her friendship to Froslass than Delphox and Gardevoir are to each other. This is to be furthered by the next chapter of the story. Essentially, Froslass struggles with being so distant from her comrades, but buries her insecurities through fun and a jubilant attitude. She has a desire to get closer with others, but typically fails at this, either scaring them off, or otherwise just outright not understanding them. After the incident in the Frozen Fields, however, she has a stronger desire than ever to close such gaps.

= Weavile came from my desire to have a collected character on the roster again, and this time follow through with that. Unlike the other timid characters, she’s completely removed from her social companions, and typically stands away from the crowd. She yearns to be closer and has a desire to fit in, but fails to follow through with it. As a result, she has become distant entirely, with her lack of social skills only fueled by her role on the Iceberg Army as the archer. Though she’s totally out of place in a crowd, Weavile is learning how to get together with her companions. She was the most recent to arrive prior to Alakazam and Machamp, who were already friends. Her role is like Delphox’s in being a third wheel type. She does, however, interact with Froslass, being the only two females on the core line-up of the Iceberg army. With Froslass’s overall personality, this will be explored in the next chapter of MGR.

= Carracosta is a character that I haven’t revealed much on yet because his role is more important to the second act of MGR. He’s showcased as a pessimist and a realist to contrast Mienshao, who’s a bit more into optimism and playfulness. His mysterious relationship will put him more into the spotlight, coming in the chapter after the next for MGR. This, however, was the source of his distancing between himself and the other soldiers.

= Mienshao, on the other hand, will also have more of his personality explored in the next chapter, so I won’t say much on him. Like Delphox, I wanted a Pokemon that’s typically considered female to be revealed as a male character, and providing Delphox with someone he never had in the Grass Fields Kingdom: an equal. There’s more to say on that, and Mienshao will have a prominent role during the second act of MGR. He’s more playful than he lets on, and likes making up proverbs that relate to current events. There is something a bit sinister about his grin, however, which unnerves his companions. Because of it, he became a bit avoided by the others whenever possible.

= Golduck was a knight on the Iceberg roster that was also introduced as Greninja’s ex-boyfriend. I picked him as being more of an elite member of the knights, and kind of owed it to him being a bird, which automatically means he gets along well with Empoleon. His relationship with Greninja explores the sour side of a gay relationship, being the first boyfriend Greninja ever had, and having not so great of an ending. As for why I picked Golduck? Honestly, the anime did it. His appearance long ago as that flirty duck that fought for Misty specifically because he liked battling for cute girls? That made me think of Golduck as this lecher forever. So, he was a double automatic first choice as the high ranking knight and the first ex-lover to be introduced.

= Delibird is basically Heracross’s equivalent to the Iceberg Empire, and wraps his role with Armaldo’s from the first story into one composite character. A messenger and yes-man to both Empoleon and Golduck’s orders, he’s ever the follower more than anyone else. Unlike the Grass Field equivalents, however, Delibird has a distinct refusal to participate in on Golduck’s shenanigans, typically only consoling his superior after his failures and giving him at least one ally to lean on, rather than partaking on his schemes. Delibird is nice and means well, but bumbles about with his role entirely.

= Poliwrath and Politoed are my first attempt to writing characters in the Pokemon fanfics that have a different relationship to focus on besides romance and friendship, with their relationship established as brothers. They’ll have more about them revealed in the next chapter for MGR as well, so I won’t say much here. Just expect them to have this perpetual rift about them, and constantly bicker with one another. More on them another time, since…well, hey, I’ve got to keep some cards up my sleeves.

= Beartic, Pangoro, and Ursaring are my first attempt at a polyamory relationship. They’re a crass version of it, typically not caring what others think, and represent divides between cultures when they initially shock Greninja and Chesnaught, and when they continue to disrupt the common life of Grass Fields. They’re not exactly nice, but they’re not totally mean either…well, Pangoro’s not the nicest, but I digress. Their role continues with another chapter in MGR, but it’s mostly set to help establish another trio in the third story.

= Mewtwo isn’t going to have much given yet, since his role evolves with the story. (Pun intended.) I will say that I am intentionally trying to make him softer than his usual depictions, which typically include him being power hungry, cold, calculating, aloof, and is described as “savage” and basically heartless by the Pokedex descriptions themselves. That idea for Mewtwo is what most are used to, so I want to give him something less common to go by. He’s going to be something of an amateur compared to the rest of the cast, but retains his power, meaning that he’s got a lot of potential that he doesn’t quite know what to do with. Most importantly, he’s going to be caring and kind, contrary to what most depictions feature him as. He will have two important relationships to explore and develop for the third and fourth stories.

= Lucario is another character I can’t talk much about yet, but another that I’m going against what is considered the typical depiction. Most often, Lucario is something of a heroic type, usually kind of a general token good-guy type of Pokemon that appears. (No, I didn’t fight Gladion yet, so shut your mouth with those spoilers.) He’s…you know what? Saying anything else will spoil him too much. He’s going to be important as the story continues.

= Zoroark is part of Lucario’s team, and therefore I can’t say much. If you know him well enough, you can put together the kind of role he’ll have coming up.

= Flygon is the other part of Lucario’s team. I wanted to feature a Dragon and wanted one before my third story. He’s in a relationship with Zoroark mostly as a “thank you” to a friend of mine, honestly.

= Other characters that have appeared so far will probably be less in the story, and have less of an overall impact compared to the side characters in BAF. However, there are more to appear, and more that will have a great role to play in the second act of MGR, so stay tuned.

Phew! Long response. Thank you for asking that one! This is something that I look forward to coming back to when the series ends, but I’d love to clarify the characters for MGR, so that’ll be fun to revisit too.

#askecho #tattwege-edgweg #pokemon fanfics #character development #relationships #bluebells are forever #melting gelid roses #mild spoilers

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mrsteveecook · 5 years

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updates: the hellmouth, am I too generous, and more

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past. Here are three updates from past letter-writers.

1. My new job is a nightmare built on a hellmouth

As I write this update, a faulty fire panel in our filing room (far from my desk) is sounding an office-wide alarm, and I am tasked with shutting it off while doing… well, work. It’s too loud to just let it go, but manually silencing it only yields one minute and thirty seconds of silence before it starts up again, so getting any work done is… challenging. Additionally, there is currently a wasp “situation” in the office, I had to decline going alone into the woods next to the property with an irate resident with a Unibomber vibe who wanted to show me the specific individual squirrel that he claims was harassing him two years ago and has returned in order to vandalize his new vehicle, and I have also just discovered that my increasingly unhinged manager has placed a two way microphone in my office by my desk. Yes, it’s another glorious day on the Hellmouth.

I know that sounds kind of bleak, and I was going to wait until I had a happier “New job, yay! And my last day is Friday!”-type update before writing, but I really didn’t want to let the holidays pass without taking the opportunity to say thank you. Because, seriously, as bad as the above sounds (and yes, that is all from just today), I would not be coping as well as I am if it weren’t for you and the ever helpful commentariat. I know it’s dumb, but having strangers on the internet be kind to me and offer me great advice, supportive statements, and also somehow reference all of my favorite TV shows really helped. Just hearing from an outside source that I wasn’t crazy and it was okay to make moves to get out of this job filled me with so much relief—it really helped me feel less like a trapped animal and more like a human with choices. Which has been priceless.

For those commenters who said that my manager was not my friend, and that it also sounded like some really poor management was going down at my property, I’m sorry to report that you were all very, very right. My manager, it turns out, lies constantly. To everyone. About everything. She also refuses to address staff issues, has been trying to force us to spy on each other (and, since we’re not doing that, has moved on to motion activated cameras and secret microphones), and has been consistently ordering me to do or say certain things to coworkers or residents and then hanging me out to dry after I follow her instructions. I’ve never felt so unsupported in a job. Or like I’ve taken so many crazy pills. And that’s on top of a lot of other just… BAD management choices. For example, I learned that a temporary maintenance worker that she wants to hire on permanently has been watching hardcore pornographic videos on his phone with the volume turned WAY up while at work. Before I could tell my manager, she told me and my other female coworker that one of us would have to give him a ride (alone) to the office Christmas party. I pulled her aside to fill her in and explain that neither of us would be super comfortable giving him a ride in light of that information, and she became very angry… with everyone except the porn watching dude. Who she still seems to be planning to hire on permanently. Not a good scene.

However, I’ve been applying to new (non-property management) jobs and am starting to at least see some movement, even if I haven’t unlocked the Shiny New Job Achievement yet. I had a really great phone interview last week for an entry level HR position and am also playing phone tag with the local university regarding an admin position, so I’m hopeful that I won’t be on the Hellmouth forever. I’ve also been practicing giving my boss notice, so when that happy day comes I’ll be ready to roll.

2. Am I too generous with my employees?

I’ve stopped the “perks” given out to employees.

The proverbial straw on the camel’s back was an incident involving “Sarah”, who was going through a health issue but had used up all of her available leave. I gave her additional two weeks of paid sick leave and told her she was free to use it however she wanted, as long as she let me know a week in advance, so I could come and cover for her shifts. While she was outwardly grateful I discovered afterwards she complained about me behind my back. She’d been telling people I deliberately took the store’s busy days so I could earn more commission for myself, and cheat her out of hers. This thought had never occurred to me and it was such an unfair accusation I went home and cried.

I’ve decided the best I can do for my employees is to pay them fair wages and create a healthy work environment. Despite my good intentions, employees just don’t care about me or the business I worked so hard to establish. I guess it’s only natural for humans to think of themselves and do only what is in their own best interests. I’m sick of being nice to people then have the same individuals back stab me or complain about me unfairly. It’s not worth the stress.

I know there will always be HR problems wherever I go. But at least if I haven’t gone out of my way to look after them it wouldn’t sting as much when people cause trouble. It doesn’t mean I’m going to be a horrible boss and cheat people – I’m just not going to be so personally involved in caring for employees anymore. I would rather donate my time and resources into assisting people I don’t work with.

Thanks for answering my question earlier.

3. How to tell an assistant “don’t tell me the process — just fix it!”

I had written in previously about my admin (Amy), who had a couple of quirks that were impacting job performance. First off, a big thank you to the community here. Alison’s advice was spot on, and the comments helped frame my thinking about the conversation. As a reminder, I work for the government, and none of these are fire-able offenses for us.

How it went: First, I spoke with my manager about the situation, since she’s the admin’s direct supervisor. She had been having the same issues and was open to suggestions. We spoke to the admin about the issues. Being straightforward in the moment has significantly helped with these issues. Of course, now there are new ones.

1) Don’t go into a ton of detail, just fix the problem. Amy is much better at this now. Some of it came with the newness to the situation and now knowing how we work, who to contact, etc. it is SO MUCH BETTER. This has greatly improved her job performance.

2) Loudness. I think this is a hearing issue. I address it in the moment, but it never lasts. Instead, I close my door more often.

3) Scheduling meetings. I addressed it directly a few times when it happened, and it has gotten better with time. She seems much less stressed by this aspect of the job.

4) Asking us stuff we wouldn’t know – again, got better with time and being direct.

New and different problems:

a) Amy gets bent out of shape by things that seem like routine things to be an executive assistant (ex: interrupting meetings when they go long so I keep on schedule; helping me screen calls from telemarketers and certain staff; arranging meetings in a certain order whenever possible to keep our schedules on track). I’ve addressed these in the moment by matter-of-factly going through a bit of the back story and that it is part of her job.

b) Amy may be a hoarder of office supplies. The government changed our office supply process, and it now can take up to 30 days to get a box of paper. This is a bigger statewide problem out of my control. For reference, we go through about a box of paper a month. Amy has begun hoarding office supplies and significantly over-ordering each time (ex: 10 boxes of paper every few months). It took some time for my boss and I to realize what was going on and addressed it Monday when it came to light and we received another 15 boxes, when we had 10 already. We’ll see. She obviously isn’t a neat freak or very tidy, which wouldn’t matter except that her office area is the reception area for the suite. So she’s working on that one.

c) She is someone who uses the same rather abrasive tone for every single conversation. Once I realized that, I was able to address all of the issues more directly, since I kept reading things into her tone.

Overall, I’m addressing things directly when they happen and usually they get fixed. If not, I address it the next time again. Her problem solving skill level and ability to multi-task is very low (which was a surprise to me), so I’ve also come to realize that I shouldn’t expect that of her. Changing my mindset on that really has helped lower my frustration level with her, and instead give her tasks where she can succeed, or instead listing out the To Do list in an email.

Good news is that she is very dependable, never sick, always on time, open to feedback, and is building an internal network in our organization, which is fantastic. She organized and facilitated our management off-site, which she had never done before, and it was great.

Looking back – this is a mediocre hire, who was previously micro-managed, and we didn’t lay out clear expectations early on or address things directly immediately. A big lessons learned on that one.