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humongousgothskeletonfarm · 12 days

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TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

“It’s not about size, anyway.” “Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” “Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” “I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. “Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. “Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” “I do not want you to look.” It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” “Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

#aftg #all for the game #tsc #tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #jean moreau #jerejean #jeremy knox #catalina alvarez #laila dermott #neil josten #david wymack #stuart hatford #nora sakavic

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dshr-art · 2 months

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I genuinely have no words

Like wow

Just WOW

You are an incredible artist and the hard work you put into your art really shows- the colours, the style, the poses, GOD THE EXPRESSIONS AND LITTLE GESTURES 🥹

The more I look at it, the more lovely little details I find and it makes me fall in love with it even more

JUST

BEAUTIFUL AMAZING INCREDIBLE SHOW STOPING SPECTACULAR STUNNING MARVELLOUS WONDERFUL THOUGHT PROVOKING STRIKING BRILLIANT SYMBOLIC MEANINGFUL SENSATIONAL REMARKABLE MIND BLOWING GORGEOUS OUTSTANDING IMPRESSIVE

Fuck I love andreil and god damnit they love each other so much 💕❤️🥹 (and I love you 🥰)

Hope you have a good day and thank you for posting, I always look forward to it! I was having quite a bad week and you made it infinitely better THANK YOUUUUU

NO, THANK YOU!!!

You just made me cry 😭❤️❤️ I have no words to describe how grateful and happy i am to hear your kind words! Thank you so much again.

I hope you're doing better now 💞

#❤️

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jingerhead · 2 years

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hi! in your recent post you asked to do more recs. i have no idea if this is what you meant but can you rec the fics that just make you want to fall to your knees and moan? and not in a sexual way (though it could be) but more of a “holy shit i love them, this is fantastic, i can’t believe something like this exists and i get to witness it” kind of way. like for me, biomy makes my knees weak, just because of how much they love eachother (and the smut helps ofc >:)

Interesting wording there anon but I think I get what you mean SJJSJS. Here's some of my all time absolute favorites that make me think "holy shit I love them, this is fantastic, I can't believe something like this exists and I get to witness it":

Inked Truths by Paradoxolotl

Oh Inked my beloved, this is just a series that I treasure so much. I remember so clearly I had seen this cute meme about Brother of Mine and it was something like "ok I can do this, I can get through this without crying" - can't get through BOM without crying. And then I became friends with Para and THEN binged the entire series and god it's just so great (also the BOM alternate ending is totally my fault I'm sorry).

This is absolutely my favorite canon-divergence fic for AFTG and there's so many reasons why. Para is so incredible with the way they write their fics, how much care they have for their ideas and the amount of love they have for the original series. I have never read anything with more accurate characterization - if some fics are ooc, then this is the complete opposite. Not to mention the way they write Andrew's backstory as we walk through it, every single struggle from not just his POV, but from Aaron and Abram's as well.

And god, Abram is just so good in this too. Honestly this fic just gives me a whole new insight to Andreil, a whole new way to adore them, and I am quite frankly obsessed with it. I've only read one other fic with a slower burn than this one and I love you for it Para.

Also we get Greer which honestly is a whole reason in itself to have that sort of reaction :3

2. Artist AU by Fortheloveofexy

The artist au is just so amazing to me for a couple of different reasons. For one, you can just tell how much love Jess put into this one - if the fact that they drew art to go along with it didn't give it away, then the amount of detail and effort they put into Neil being an artist definitely should. At first you think this is going to be a cutesy artist short fic, but NO. They gave us some sequels that completely dive into Neil's past and how that trauma affects him as a person in the present and JFC IT SENDS YOU ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER.

And Jess too just puts so much into the characterization. It's so incredible and I adore it. The way certain events happen, how the story progresses, Neil's flighty-ness constantly clashing with his desire to stay...it's so perfect. You should at the very least read this for the art and stay for everything else!

3. In My Defense, I Have None by likearecord

A high-school AU with fake dating?? Sign me the hell up, this is literally everything I love rolled into one, and it only just keeps getting better. I have no idea how many times I've recced this by now, but this is one of my all time favorites and I reread it so often. Not only does it put a twist on fake-dating, but it gets a high school romance done so well while also keeping those essential aspects to the original characters that it makes me explode.

Not only that, but you don't have to worry about any sudden kidnapping or the past catching up to anyone. It's just these idiots and their own dumb decisions and I live for it. Not to mention this entire conflict could've been avoided if people literally just confessed their feelings instead of doing cartwheels around them, but honestly that's just what makes this fic even better, I'm literally begging you to read it.

4. Learning to be Human by coritkyo

This one I've only just gotten into (and it's incomplete) but holy shit I can't believe I didn't find it sooner. I'm absolutely obsessed with it. I won't say too much so as to not spoil things, but dear lord is it good. The author does an incredible job with the characterization, I'm obsessed with how everyone's dynamic works, and their worldbuilding is incredible. You might be left in the dark for a little bit, but there's a reason for it and I fuckinggggg love when that happens.

And I'm just obsessed with Neil in this one. Seriously, robot Neil is everything I never knew I needed before.

5. When the frost is in bloom by Silveriss

I don't know what exactly it is about this fic that gets me feral but it's just so good. The angst is peak, the descriptions are flawless and it just makes my heart ache in the best of ways. Silveriss writes these two so well, especially with everything that happens that I won't spoil. Winter Spirit! Neil and Author! Andrew, what more could we ever need? I am literally begging you guys to read it.

6. Touch me, love me, leave me by BakaDoll

The soldier Andrew fic. Honestly I'm sure most of us have read it by now but it needs to be said again: jfc this fic is so good. It's a long but well worth it read, and if you don't mind a bit of smut then you should definitely check it out. The author put so much effort into this one, and you know the idea that Andrew gets sent to the military rather than get court-ordered drugs kinda makes more sense (I'm sure anything makes more sense than the drugs but c'est la vie). These two dummies immediately being able to understand and work with each other while having to live together is perfection, and I love reading about how their relationship develops, too. It might start of as pure physical attraction - whatever excuses float your boat Andrew - but just their inside jokes and constant texting and caring about what matters to the other is so good.

7. Junk of the Heart by AmaliaIR

This one isn't that long but to me it just packed such a punch. So much is in it, so if you can handle a bit of angst you should definitely read it. Neil's heart condition finally becoming something he can't ignore, and yet his martyr complex still kicking in is so accurate it pains me. There is so much inner conflict and Amalia does such a good job with it, especially when attributing it to outside factors. Neil's constant flee vs. stay mentality is something we've seen countless times, but once again we get to see it differently, and Amalia just did incredible with it. So much research went into this fic too, I loved it so much!

#aftg #aftg fic rec #tfc #tfc fic rec #all for the game #all for the game fic rec #the foxhole court #jinger answers #jinger's recs #andreil #andreil fic rec #andriel #andriel fic rec

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lovefromremus · 2 years

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lovefromremus' masterlist ☆

em || she/her || bisexual || infp || cabin 10, hufflepuff || fanfic writer and same username on ao3 || marauders, pjo, aftg and all book related content || aaron minyard, nicky hemmick, seth gordon defender || regulus black apologist || i <3 ravi singh || james potter my beloved || probably drinking tea and crying over jean moreau || sirius black if he was a lil white girl || reader || history nerd || God First, proverbs 3:3 ✟ || profile art by caspervi

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

WORKS

here you can find all of my ongoing, completed and upcoming works along with some information about them!

bury our secrets shallow (jegulus/wolfstar small-town au ☆ ONGOING)

frontlines, don't you ignore me (jegulus ☆ COMPLETE)

the art of comprehension (andreil ☆ COMPLETE)

prayer X (jily/post-jegulus ☆ COMPLETE)

a study in anatomy (wolfstar ☆ COMPLETE)

UPCOMING: this sweet, rotten life (wolfstar)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

SOCIALS

here are the only social media accounts i will publicly associate myself with! (: you can contact me on any of them any time x

- TUMBLR: spoiler alert, you're here

- INSTAGRAM: lovefromremus

- AO3: lovefromremus

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

FAQ

please note that i currently do not allow ANY FORM of publishing, downloading or translations of my fics. if you would like to translate, however, please message me privately so we can discuss. i do, however, allows playlists and fanart to be made of my fics (please do not write anything, however.) just make sure to send it to me so i can see it!

if you have any questions about any of my works please either DM me or hit me up in my question box, thank you

thank you for reading! see you in the next millennium. PS, i love you x

#faq #masterlist #bury our secrets shallow asks #ao3 writer #writer #this sweet rotten life asks

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chibichococloud123 · 1 year

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I posted 33,657 times in 2022

23 posts created (0%)

33,634 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blue-jos10

@ao3feed-andreil

@theravenkin

@andreils-nan

@kazzyboy

I tagged 268 of my posts in 2022

#chibi talks - 32 posts

#andreil - 21 posts

#aftg - 20 posts

#my art - 20 posts

#andrew minyard - 17 posts

#stranger things - 16 posts

#kingdom hearts - 16 posts

#mutuals - 16 posts

#all for the game - 13 posts

#q - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#all i know is that we will all be crying when they meet up again whether that’s because it’s a sweet moment or an extremely traumatic move

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sorry to anyone who sent me asks I don’t get notifications for them so I usually have to attempt at remembering to check them lol

3 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

Oh my god they broke tumblr mobile now?? Why?? What was the purpose of this?? It just looks ugly as shit!!!

4 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

Would ya like some hot cocoa?

Omg yess!!! I fricken love hot cocoa!!! Thank you you should make some for yourself too!!!

4 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Damn I lost over half my followers what happened??? Did I post something bad or did this hellsite purge some :(

6 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

When you get this, respond with 5 things that make you happy. Then, Send this to last 10 people in your notifs. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity✨

I’ll do this again since my answers have changed

1. All for the Game

2. My mutuals

3. My friends

4. My cat

5. Kingdom Hearts

@purposeless-lovelydreams @purpleshadow-star @ronans-sepiaphotograph @blue-jos10 @shatolith @aftgtrash @dremyink06 @gayykronos @shamelessbananamuffin @as-use-full-as-uchiha-eyeball

12 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

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boy-loser · 2 years

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i actually hate being so emotionally attached to andreil cause when i see an interpretation of then i don’t like, or a fic where they break up, or god forbid a kandreil fic, i get so unreasonably upset. either i feel like i’m abt to cry or pissed off. like yeah they make me rlly happy, but the emotional impact of reading stuff abt them that my brain deems ‘wrong’ can rlly fuck me up sometimes lol.

#no hate to the ppl who write that fic #there’s just something wrong w/ me #foxes #ramble

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twirlingflurry · 3 years

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yes neil is absolutely clueless when it comes to people liking him, both platonically and romantically, but he’s honestly pretty perceptive when it comes to other people. he was able to analyse the relationships and dynamics between the foxes pretty quickly (for the most part) after meeting each of them, even without knowing their backstories or anything about them. i think that this is for a few reasons:

neil has spent his entire life looking for threats towards him, not love

the only person who ever really cared about him before he joined the foxes (from what we know) was his mom, who had very questionable ways of showing it (i could write a whole other post about mary)

neil didn’t actually expect anyone to care about him in any way, because he didn’t think he was worthy of friendships and had never really opened up enough for it to be a viable option

he had to be good at quickly and discreetly analyzing other people’s relationships, because it was important to understand those around him on the run

excluding all the times where he went off and snapped at people, he tended to listen more than talk, especially when in big groups. this is the perfect opportunity to absorb information about everyone else

that being said, he didn’t pick up on anyone caring about him, because that idea had never even crossed his mind

also, given that he hadn’t really known what romantic attraction felt like, it was probably pretty hard to place his feelings for andrew

and andrew’s not exactly the easiest to read, so even for neil (who understands him significantly more than others do), it would’ve been hard to see that andrew liked him (esp since andrew was presenting his attraction as hate)

however!! it would’ve been a lot easier to pick out the subtleties in the relationships between the other foxes, because they’re generally more open

basically, i think that neil actually isn’t completely clueless when it comes to love/lust/attraction between others, it’s just when it comes to himself - who he doesn’t think is worthy of anything good - that he’s a bit thick

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side-effect-of-the-meds · 4 years

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One day, I'll finish a fic.

#im deadass crying over fem!andreil #oh god #this is what happens when i start projecting all my insecurities on erin #this is why i stopped writing them #it hurts a lot #and makes me lonely #its okay #i really want to finish it #maybe one day #just a pipe dream #quarentitties #i hate that that word is stuck in my head

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aftgficrec · 2 years

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AHHH your open!!! could u please recommend some angsty one shots, I'm such a sucker for those. MUCH LOVE

You didn’t specify a pairing, so we tried to provide a little variety, though as usual most is Andreil. There’s some absolutely delicious angst in the previous recs, so make sure to check those out as well for a good cathartic cry! -F

most of the fics in this apocalypse ask here

short angsty Andrew fics here

Neil cheats fics here

‘Won’t you help me?...’, ‘Voicemails to the Dead’, and ‘Break to build yourself back’ here

‘the gods took them back…’ here

‘one more or one less, nobody’s worried’ here

‘The Eulogy’ here

‘Mommy Dearest’ here

‘Cut at the knees (I’ll bash your head in)’ here

‘Witness’ and ‘there’s a niche in his chest…’ here

‘You were seven’ here

‘inevitably, like a car crash’ and ‘the deal’s done’ here

‘I put the record on…’, ‘Truths for the Rooftop’ (series of 3 one-shots), ‘deadweight has-been’ (series of 2 one-shots) here

‘blood is rare and sweet’ and ‘The roots of your suffering’ here (Renison)

Andreil:

you're in a car with a beautiful boy (he loves you) by blafard [Rated T, 2829 words, Complete 2022]

Neil stirs beside him, long dark eyelashes fanning over his high cheekbones and casting shadows and Andrew longs to see him open his eyes, look at him with those incredibly blue eyes, feel the way they strip him bare with just a single look and without Andrew having to explain himself.

He never has to when it comes to Neil, not like he has to with anyone else.

(tw: blood, tw: guns, tw: implied/referenced violence)

Bad Days by maqicien [Not Rated (we say T), 1129 words, Complete 2022]

He lays on that couch in his dorm room and lets the feeling of utter devastation eat him whole.

(tw: suicidal thoughts)

I love you (and If I could've, I would have stayed forever) by Artificiosus [Rated G, 2102 words, Complete 2022]

"Stay," He says, assertively. One word he says, and Neil wants so badly to listen. He would do anything for him, for Andrew.

Anything, he supposes, anything but this.

---

In which Neil gets too attached to what was meant to be another meaningless pitstop in his life on the run.

you were my almost by fatalescorpio [Rated T, 1226 words, Complete 2022]

Neil never made it out.

Stuart didn’t get there on time. Mere seconds, two heartbeats, one gunshot too late.

:*:*:

The one where Neil dies

(tw: major character death, tw: suicidal ideation)

Four Roses, Neat by fuzzballsheltiepants [Rated M, 2378 words, Complete 2019, AFTG Exchange]

Andrew's a reporter who just hit on the story of his life. Neil is his coworker who might not be what he seems.

I don't want to forget by Greenteacandle [Rated T, 4029 Words, Complete, 2020]

Andrew is a successful exy star now, but he still remembers his first love.

(tw: major character death, tw: implied/referenced suicide)

Neil:

How to outrun the mafia, an essay by Neil Josten by anonymua [Rated G (we say T), 1668 words, Complete 2022]

Nathaniel grows up in the nest but not being able to stand the torture any longer he runs away, leaving his brothers behind.

Years later he reunites with one of them.

(tw: implied/referenced major character death, tw: blood)

The Inescapable Past by Artificiosus [Rated T, 4340 words, Complete 2022]

There were no windows in the room, if you could call it that, the cell, no clocks mounted on the wall, or watches strewn about. There was nothing but him, the chains on his wrists, the creaky old stairs and the door that seemed miles away without being very far at all. No way for him to tell the time, whether it was night or day, how long he had even been there, because by now it could have easily been hours or weeks or years, time moved up and down and left to right, in circles and triangles, it moved anywhere but in a linear way, time moved like it would in hell.

......

A dashboard lighter on his face. Lola on his back. A racket with no one to stop it from coming down on his skull. Knives and a gun and a thousand harsh words, all pointed towards him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Neil's nightmare.

(tw: nightmares, tw: violence, tw: torture, tw: abuse, tw: canonical character death, tw: implied/reference rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced drug overdose, tw: choking, tw: suicidal ideation)

Aaron:

church dog by skullcaid [Rated T, 6773 words, Complete 2022]

Aaron Minyard is extraordinarily ordinary. He's unremarkable, in fact, and a few bad days that lead up to his relapse make him lose sleep, patience, and maybe even his mind in the end.

(tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: drug use, tw: violence, tw: gore)

Least Favorite Only Child by JayJFox [Rated M, 5676 words, Complete 2021]

He should’ve known all along that this was never going to work. When has Aaron ever wanted something and had it? When has he gotten to keep anything at all?

-- Andrew and Aaron fall out during therapy, Kevin messes up Aaron's head and everything feels like a giant landslide. Maybe Aaron just needs to do some healing on his own.

(tw: internalized homophobia, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: alcohol)

Phoenix From the Ashes by veolie [Rated T, 2177 words, Complete 2022]

The fire, that Aaron Minyard had carried, was finally gone. Trying to stay alive, it had burned down everything that had ever meant something to him until there was nothing left.

Aaron Minyard had been destroyed beyond repair.

He knew, because no one had yet been able to heal his illness.

Aaron Minyard had burned out.

(tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: suicidal ideation)

Kandrew:

even if it takes __ years by nanatsuyu [Rated T, 10677 words, Complete 2022, AFTG Mixtape Exchange]

“So… you weren’t talking?” Nicky shifts to lean back against the counter, brows knitting in confusion. “That’s kind of hard to believe.”

“You make it sound like we didn’t graduate over four years ago,” he remarks pointedly. People move on from relationships of all kinds after a while. Andrew’s not exempt from that, much as he wishes. “We weren’t high school sweethearts.”

Not everyone ends up with the first boy they kiss in college after a drink too many and a bloodied nose. Kevin should have asked first, but it didn't stop Andrew from kissing him again.

(tw: implied/referenced alcoholism, tw: alcohol, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction)

Kevin/Jean:

it's a quarter past midnight (and the sirens are mending some hearts) by maisy_daisy [Rated M, 6345 words, Complete 2021]

A story with four beginnings, and the one inevitable conclusion for a Raven no longer welcome home. But when it comes down to fight or flight, sometimes all it takes is the first gentle touch in the night to remind you why you have to decide at all.

And Kevin Day’s greatest regret will always be who he decided to leave behind.

(tw: abuse, tw: violence)

The Foxes & Wymack:

where you are by @triquetrine [Tumblr Fic, 2020]

in which the foxes, now much older than we first met them, reunite at the funeral of the man who brought them together in the first place.

(tw: major character death)

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abraxos-is-toothless · 4 years

Note

I have a fic request, pretty please! Andreil (ofc!) Anyway Neil not answering his phone (cuz it died, again, oops) and Andrew losing his shit and hunting him down!

Okay it’s 2am and this is finally, finally being posted. It should have gone up like a week ago but Tumblr wouldn’t let me answer asks at the time. I’ve changed this around so many times and I don’t know if this is what you were hoping for but I tried my best! I tweaked it a little too, so sorry.

Full Masterlist.

—————

This is Josten, I don’t want to talk to you so don’t leave a message.

Andrew had now called Neil’s phone about twenty fucking times and he still hadn’t answered; he always answered when Andrew called him. Everyone was in the lounge at the court since it had been at least four hours since anyone had heard from him. Nicky was almost in tears, Dan and Matt looked like they were two seconds away from calling in a search party and of course Aaron the asshole looked like he didn’t care that Neil was missing. Abby was tucked underneath Coach’s arm, her face etched with worry and taking comfort from the man. It was about fucking time they got their shit together. The man in question cleared his throat just when Andrew was about to leave and search the campus himself. “Minyard sit the fuck down, we will find him we just have to piece some things together first.”

All he did was sneer at the command but stayed nonetheless. He was itching to pull out his knives and bury them in something but Renee gave him a look as if she knew exactly what he was thinking and she shook her head at him. Nicky really was crying now and Andrew had to force himself not to roll his eyes. Yes they all cared about Neil, they were all his family, but with the reactions they were giving it was like they expected the worst. Andrew could not think like that, wouldn’t think like that because even though he hated when the idiot said it, he had to believe that Neil was fine.

“Who was the last person to see him?” Allison spoke up from the other side of the room, and so now it looked like she was getting worried. When they’d first gathered here it had only been an hour and she figured he’d turn up in the next few minutes. Oh how wrong she was. Matt forced out an answer, his leg bouncing non-stop, just like it had been after the riot two years ago and Neil had been taken to Baltimore.

“Uh I did. We walked to our first class together after morning practice.” Well that didn’t really help because the junkie had his Spanish class right after that one and then he usually went on his run after that. No one would have seen him at Fox Tower after that, because no one else was free. Actually that was wrong because-

“He was talking in Japanese. He was talking in fucking Japanese.” Because the coward that was Kevin Day had one of his classes cancelled and he’d told everyone he’d go back to the dorms and figure out a new drill they could do, not that anyone really cared. Before he could do a repeat performance of choking Kevin out, Renee was on him in a flash, restraining him from any movement. When Kevin turned to look at Andrew, he’d gone as white as a sheet, as if he realised what he’d just said and visibly swallowed. Andrew was going to kill him, and then bury his body where nobody would find it. Just as soon as the good Christian girl let go of him.

“What the fuck do you mean he was talking in Japanese, Day?” Andrew’s voice was low and smooth, promising a whole lot of pain if Kevin didn’t respond in the way he was expected to. The spineless coward looked around the room at the foxes, eyes lingering on his father, before turning back to Andrew and wringing his hands in front of him.

“When I got back to the dorms, Neil was already there. I was going to ask him if he wanted to help me come up with new drills and plays when I heard it. He didn’t sound like he normally did, it was like he was someone else and was talking in whispered Japanese like he was worried about someone hearing him.”

The fucking stupid asshole.

He was dealing with Moriyama bullshit and hadn’t even bothered to tell Andrew. They had agreed on no more lies, to trust one another. Looks like Andrew had made a mistake on that front but really, it was bound to happen. That was a lie, Neil was most likely in meltdown mode and had forgotten he had people who could help him now. Nicky was hysterical now and started yelling at Kevin, tears falling down his cheeks. “Well you speak Japanese too dickwad, what the fuck was he actually saying or are you going to wait another four hours to tell us that?”

“I don’t know what he was talking about! There were a few quick ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers and an ‘of course’ but he wasn’t actually giving information. He probably didn’t want to get into trouble.”

Oh Andrew was going to enjoy being responsible for the death of the great Kevin Day. Just as he was about to fight Renee to get to him, the sound of the door opening pushed through his senses and he swivelled to see Neil walk into the room. Nicky gave a cry of relief, getting onto his feet and joining Matt as they ran over to fuss over the redhead. Neil tried meeting Andrew’s gaze and smile, but all he could do was glare at the sight of those piercing blues. Andrew was quite angry with him, and he’d soon find that out. Wymack was also quite angry by the looks of it, arms now crossed over his chest and a face like thunder. “Where in the actual fuck have you been, Josten? And don’t give me any of your usual bullshit because it’s not going to be good enough.”

Andrew watched Neil gently extricate himself from his cuddly giants and sighed as he looked around the room at everyone. It was Wymack who’d asked for answers yes, but Neil didn’t look at anyone other than Andrew, as if it was just the two of them.

“Ichirou called. He wanted an update on his assets and to make sure we weren’t doing anything stupid. He also wanted to reiterate what would happen if we didn’t manage to attract pro teams that weren’t to his liking. I told him that he wouldn’t be let down.”

Aaron piped up for the first time since they’d all walked into the court hours ago. “It’s been literal hours Josten, a text to say ‘I’m still alive, unfortunately’ would have been great. I’ve wasted my whole day.”

“I know how long it’s been, jackass.” Neil snapped, glaring daggers into Aaron’s skull. Andrew was still vibrating with anger and couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Everyone get the fuck out.” When they all just stared at him, not moving, he emphasised his point by unsheathing a knife and giving a firm, “Now.”

Nicky and Kevin moved like lightning and were the first to leave. Allison smirked for some stupid reason, winking at Neil as she strode out of the room. Matt and Dan looked weary but still left, Aaron on their heels. Renee gave them both gentle smiles and nodded her head. Wymack gave Neil a stern look like he wanted to say more but thought better of hit, rubbing his forehead and mumbling about being ‘too old for this shit’. Abby gave Neil a few motherly touches, which the redhead flinched away from for the first time in a long time, and then she too was gone.

Now that they were alone Neil tried explaining with an, “Andrew I...” but he trailed off, seemingly lost for words. He didn’t have a chance to think of anything else before Andrew flung himself at his stupid junkie, fists gripping at Neil’s- no Andrew’s –t-shirt and burying his head into his chest. He smelt of apples and sweetness and god, Andrew felt like he could finally fucking breathe.

“You didn’t answer your fucking phone. Why didn’t you answer the phone?” Neil’s arms moved, one wrapping around Andrew’s waist the other holding the back of his neck, keeping him against his chest.

“Ichirou had a few extra words before the call ended. He said he was ‘sorry for my loss’. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about at first but then I remembered. It’s the anniversary of mom’s death. I turned my phone off after and just ran. I came back when I turned my phone back on and saw the missed calls.”

As much as he hated Mary Hatford, he knew why Neil still mourned her sometimes. He was slowly beginning to understand that what his mother had done to him was wrong, that she had abused him for years, but she was all he had known and was the only safe thing for him. He hated it but kept quiet, not wanting to get into an argument on the matter right now. “Just let me know you’re alright next time. Kevin heard your call, heard the Japanese. I thought, I thought...”

Neil suddenly cupped his face in his scarred hands, tilting his head back so they were looking at each other, before leaning in to press their foreheads together. “I’m right here ‘Drew and I’m not going to disappear again. I’m right here.”

The kiss that followed was soft, gentle and slow, so unlike them but it was what they needed just then. They need to be able to feel everything and to be able to feel each other. Andrew didn’t want to let go, he wanted to stay and kiss Neil until his lips went numb but exhaustion was a bitch. He pulled back, looking at Neil’s lips which were swollen from their kisses and he had a pretty red flush that had blossomed on his cheeks.

“Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry and you owe me ice cream after what you just pulled.” Neil just laughed and nodded, taking one of Andrew’s hands in his own and linking their fingers together, walking them both towards the door.

“Whatever you want ‘Drew, whatever you want and I’ll give it to you.”

—————

If you want to be on my aftg tag list then just hit me up, folks:)

Tags: @incorrect-the-foxhole-court @junkiejosten10 @oreosndscones @koholania @skunked-up-kicks @shutuptheooo @hannahoftheinternet @palmettofoxesthings @jostenlovesminyard @fangirl0503 @stop-breathing-its-annoying @incorrect-the-foxhole-court @intoomanyfandomsstuff @imstupidremember @fancyclodpaintercookie @heccccccccc @prettyboysareindemand @acetheticbitchass @meatiors @princeofexy @emilyfairchild @kmskms123kms @yourtypicalbookworn @sadboyayeron @b00kworm @booksandbeanbags

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kitkatartstuff-moved · 3 years

Text

Hey y’all so I recently hit 500 which!! Wild!!! Anyways here’s a shoutout to some friends and mutuals who make AMAZING FUCKING CONTENT OMG I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH

@daystens: Tania is an ICON! Their takes!! Their writing!! Theyre so funny and nice and I love talking to them, also also, they make such good edits omfg. Is there anything they can’t do? Seriously, go follow them they’re fucking iconic

@cranewive: Loane!! Monarch!! I love them so much, their writing is so fucking good???? Also the RANGE!!! They’re so fucking funny and theyre ranked #1 on our starboard and honestly? As they should be! ALSO THEIR EDITS??? I LOVE THEM??? Oh did I mention they’re amazing? They are.

@keremy: Mars I literally love your art so much. Like. Your kevin makes me cry tears of joy, I love heee! Also your url? King shit ✨✨

@deadadam: HELLO??? KING??? THEIR EDITS ISTG WHAT EVEN— Also theyre really nice n smart I love ‘em a lot!

@fxcrt: Jake’s writing,, I don’t even know where to start. His characterization is so good???? Like hello king you’re an icon. His fics are just. I love them all so fucking much oh my god. He’s also really funny so like y’all should definitely check him out!

@orionsboots: OSKAR’S ART. HE’S AN ICON OH MY GOD LIKE IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YOU ARE MISSING OUT. Also he’s a participant in Catboy Sunday,, Iconic

@candied-cream: JULIUS, AKA THE CO-CREATOR OF CATBOY MOTHERFUCKIN SUNDAY!!! If y’all like mcyt content he’s the guy for you!! Also also his art style is so fucking cute like w h a t

@yandriels: Chai’s art is so fucking cute guys seriously go check her out she’s amazing! And really sweet!! Chai ily

@invidiosas: DAWN HAS SUCH GOOD ART LIKE ITS JUST. HHHHNNNNNGGGGDDHFJDD. She did nightvale Kevin also if y’all saw that soft andreil post where they were dancing recently? That was her! Icon! Queen! I love her!

@cinnamonfoxjosten: Mya is so funny omgg,,,An icon. If you want funny shitposts? Check her out!!

@toomanykings: Ok we don’t really talk much but,, their art oh my god,, it’s so cute i justthdjfnefvjfjf

@deadkaz: We don’t really talk 2: electric boogaloo. BUT!!! THEIR EDITS OH MY GOD. THEY’RE SO FUCKING GORGEOUS?? LIKE YOU KNOW THOSE COOL BOOK PACKAGES THAT COME WITH LITTLE PRINTS AND BOOKMARKS?? IT LOOKS LIKE THAT!!! They’re so pretty like I,, I can’t even.

@calipha: HALLA MONARCH YOUR EDITS????? YOUR WIPS???? I’M????? HNNNNNGNFNGNFNNDFJJGF GORGEOUSS I love you monarch

@Everyone else, I love y’all, you guys are epic!! Even if we don’t interact a whole lot, just know I appreciate y’all!! Anyways, hope vibes are vibin wherever you guys are, and thank you again!! 🧡✨

P.S.) Quick reminder!! I track the tag #userkkat, so if y’all want me to see something feel free to tag me!

#anyways please go check these guys out they’re all so cool omg #kat 500

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itsthegameilike · 4 years

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Just some fic recs (part 2)...

It’s been a while since I’ve made a rec list and that seemed tragic to me as I’ve spent most of my quarantine surviving off fic. So here we go! The popular fics are hidden away for today and there is more Wangxian on here than I’d care to admit, but I Hyperfixated. Still, the ships are numerous and various.

Promises We Make -- Mayarene Rose; Wangxian Lan Zhan has taken to visiting the Yiling as often as he can, bringing as many rabbits as he can carry. It is not against the sect rules so there's no reason for him to feel guilty about it. And after all, he made a promise. Or the one where Lan Zhan sneakily moves into the Burial Mounds and this may or may not have helped stop a lot of bad things from happening. **If you’re feeling sad, this is the fic for you. It can take any bad day and make it better. Lan Zhan brings every goddamn rabbit in Cloud Recesses to the Burial Mounds a few rabbits at a time just as an excuse to visit Wei Ying. Then he kind of just stays? And everyone loves him? And Wei Ying is an absolute dumbass about the whole thing? Which tracks.

Screw Poetry, It’s You I Want -- intertwiningsouls; Pynch Adam tries to navigate a crush on his best friend, his first time having a group of friends during the holidays, and the mysterious notes that keep showing up in his locker. **Fair warning this fic is not finished and on hiatus, but I still think it is absolutely worth reading anyway. I reread it often and then get sad it’s not updated, but, you know, fic writer’s lives are hard. I know this deeply. Anyway, it’s soft, it’s cute, and Ronan is perfect.

apastron -- kissmesexybatman; Shatt "This was the mission: three people were set to travel half a year out to the edge of the solar system, traversing space no human eyes had ever seen, to explore the possibility of life in the most extreme of conditions." The first six months of the Kerberos Mission. **This fic is quiet and meditative and a little lonely, but it is so, so beautiful. I loved it the first time I read it and I love it now. There’s some very good ace representation and love just pours from this fic. Love for people and love for space.

How Fragile We Are, Between the Few Good Moments -- nineandthreequarterrs; Wolfstar By the time it’s dark, there’s a fire crackling before them. The tent is set up. There are two chairs propped up by the fire. They have cooked and eaten dinner, and they are sitting in silence. It reminds Sirius of the dinners at home after he got sorted into Gryffindor, or after his mother found the letters from his friends, or lately, whenever he dares to show his face around the house at all. What lives in that space isn’t actually silence. Silence is absence. This thing that hangs between him and his mother, now between him and Remus, is the presence of something suffocating and cutting. It doesn’t serve as a placeholder for noise, it serves as a punishment. It cleaves him to the bone, flays him until he wants to cry. The soft, knotting feeling in his chest he feels when he wants to let tears out but can’t is rising in him. Sirius doesn’t know how to kill except to hiss, “Well if you’re mad at me just fucking say so.” **This takes the moment where Sirius lures Snape to the Shrieking Shack and nearly gets him killed by Remus in his werewolf form-a scene that should be utilized like this more frequently-and creates something absolutely lovely with it. The fic is quiet and subtle and deals with the abuse Sirius suffers and Remus’ rightful anger in a delicate and true way. I adore it.

Likewise Variable -- ssstrychnine; Wolfstar James has plans, Peter is the nurse, Sirius keeps fake blood up his sleeves, and Remus just tries to stay alive. **One of those classic Marauders fics where everyone is batshit crazy except Remus, who ends up doing batshit crazy things because he loves his friends. And Sirius. Especially Sirius. He ends up playing Romeo and Sirius plays Juliet and the pining and angst is unreal. A trope I’m trash for and very well executed.

flowers boldly blossoming over withered grass -- LilyMaxwell; Wangxian It’s in the dawning years after Jin Guangyao’s death that Wei Wuxian learns what it’s like to live and love without a second thought. **The first fic I found in my endless search through pages and pages on ao3 where I saw a characterization of Lan Zhan that resonated with me in the same way he did in the show. I have a thing for soft and quiet fics and this one is no exception. Lovely and beautifully written.

Like Knives -- All_My_Characters_Are_Dead; Bakushima Bakugou was disappointed in him. Bakugou thought he was weak, thought he was useless. Bakugou knew he’d broken, and Bakugou was mad at him for it. **I love this fic a lot. It takes Bakugou’s anger and uses it to full angst advantage. Kirishima overhears Bakugou and misinterprets Bakugou’s intense worry for anger. And then emotions happen.

Garden War -- Cibee; Drarry Harry and Draco are quarantined in their houses, a lake across from one another. What better ways to spend this time than to annoy each other with letters and attempts to prove that their garden is better? **I did my best to avoid quarantine fics, but you know, easier said than done. This one is super cute. Mostly epistolary, Harry and Draco just make fun of each other and garden and then get together. Like, what the hell else do you want?

light fires at night (to push back the void) -- inthesea; Andreil The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew. (Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.) **One of the two truly popular fics that shows up on here. This fic changed my life. It killed me and then brought me back to life. It’s essentially a series of vignettes starring Andrew and Neil and like...it hurts and it heals and it loves. I would die for this fic to continue existing even when I don’t.

the hidden source is the watchful heart -- sombregods; Wangxian Wei Wuxian comes back to the Cloud Recesses for the winter months. He and Lan Wangji learn that emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are not (yet) quite synonymous.They have time to figure it out. **I have the biggest soft spot for relationships where sex and romance aren’t intrinsically intertwined and take some time to navigate. And in my mind, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying have exactly that kind of relationship, so this fic was all I ever needed. If that’s your thing, this is a must read.

A Heart’s a Heavy Burden -- idratherhaveyou; Wangxian There was fire and magic and death, screams and blood, but rage was Wei Ying's song at night, the beast he became taking control, protecting what it could and destroying those that did harm.Years ago, when Wei Ying had newly discovered this particular power of his, when he’d picked his side—to simply fight everyone who didn’t fight for those weaker than themselves—he’d remembered more.To him, this was better. Better to forget things best forgot. **A Howl’s Moving Castle AU **A shameless self-promotion, but I love this fic to pieces, so I thought it seemed fit to add. Not quite finished, but I promise it will be. I just take two of my favorite pieces of media and have a real good time. There’s magic, Lan Zhan and Wei Ying love each other a lot, and A-Yuan does god’s work.

Siren Song -- Becky_J_1022 When Damen is cursed by a Siren in exchange for the revenge his heart desperately desires, his life is thrown into chaos, and betrayal lurks around every corner. Despite his better judgment, he allows a beautiful young man to seek berth on his ship, not knowing that he has granted refuge to the one man who has every reason to want him dead. Laurent may be the key to breaking Damen's curse, and Damen could help restore Laurent to his throne—but if they have any hope of helping each other, they will have to untangle their bitter pasts first. **Listen, man, this fic is balls to the walls fun and also everyone should read Becky’s fics. Not enough people do. She makes sentences beautiful. Just so beautiful. And she loves to and you can tell.

#fic recs #the untamed #wangxian #andreil #tfc #wolfstar #drarry #harry potter #bnha #bakushima #trc #pynch #voltron #shatt #writers are wonderful creatures #i love and cherish you all #thanks for you work

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meanminyxrd · 3 years

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punchdrunk but it’s andreil based

hey losers i’m back with another song analysis, as always. i have a playlist for my andreil vibes if you’re curious, here it is. i actually have a lot but this one is for my slightly sad yearning andreil vibes.

anyways, today we are covering punchdrunk by vaines. i really really enjoy this song for them and i hope i can covey it!! let’s go (:

I remember driving your car 'cause I never had one

And if I did I probably would’ve crashed it

And if I died who would’ve cared?

Maybe you would cry sometimes

Maybe you would just be fine

Because I know we weren’t in love

You just wanted to pass the time

(And that was alright)

the first line of this is pretty black and white. neil driving andrew’s car <3333 that’s it that’s the tweet. when he’s saying he’d crash one if he had his own its because he has to destroy a lot and leave stuff behind because of his past. he constantly is working to hide his past from the FBI. furthermore, he thought he was going to die for the majority of the books, and when he died, who was supposed to care? he had no one. it was this ‘me, myself, and i’ mentality because that was what kept him alive. he was constantly in danger, and when he was with andrew that’s why he made him take away the promise; he didn’t want andrew hurt because of his actions. by saying ‘maybe you would cry sometimes, maybe you would be just fine’ shows how he doesn’t think andrew actually cares ab him because 1. neil is an oblivious fuck and 2. andrew is a raging tsundere. andrew is always like ‘i dont like u’ blah blah, explaining the line ‘because i know we weren’t in love you just wanted to pass the time’ but neil was okay w it; ‘and that was alright’

I got it bad and I feel so lonely

Thought I wanted love I just wanted you

Now we’re together but you don’t even know me

But I’m stuck, what am I gonna do?

uhhh, like, poor fuckin neil man. he really had it bad for this man i really dunno how he survived when andrew was in the mental hospital HAHA. but fr he must have been so lonely, never allowing himself to make attachments, and then he makes this really skewed one with some midget maniac and then that same man goes to a hospital. that can’t have been a fun time (and it wasn’t).

‘thought i wanted love i just wanted you’, god, i love this line. remember when he looks at nicky and matt to see if he feels anything different? sees if he feels attracted to them, but he doesnt? he thinks he’s just craving affection after all this time, but no, its andrew he craves, it’s andrew he wants and chooses.

‘now we’re together but you dont even know me’ this motherfucker is living behind this silly ‘neil’ persona for a time when he’s with andrew and andrew only has this red headed man built of half truths. ‘now im stuck, what am i gonna do?’ he can’t run away like he’s used to because now he cares about andrew and he’s promised to stay.

Guess I’ll stick around

Being with you is only making me feel

Like I’m further from you then I’ve ever been

But I’m right there when you call me 'cause I’m so lonely

I don’t wanna bring it to an end

now, neil stays because he promised andrew he would, and andrew makes him feel so different and special and happy. but also while he’s with andrew he feels so far away because he isn’t being himself and andrew keeps denying whatever this,,, scuffed relationship is. but whenever andrew initiates contact, asks him yes or no, tells him to meet him somewhere or do something, neil is THERE in a heartbeat because he’s so caught up with the idea of andrew and he doesn’t want what they have to ever end even tho he’s convinced it will, one day, come to that point.

I remember feeling so young

Nothing's gonna bring me down

And if you jumped I would’ve followed

All the way down to the bottom

Better days are over now

Everything is slowing down

And you still won’t say it’s love

You just wanna pass the time

Fine

being with andrew brings him up, makes him happy, makes him FEEL something. nothing was gonna take him away from that. he would have followed andrew anywhere because he quite literally trusted andrew with his life. but the good days are over, (cut to baltimore) he’s being fucked up by his dad’s men and he thinks he’s gonna die then (cut to post baltimore) andrew does all this shit for him but STILL says he doesnt care ab neil and he just wants to pass the time. and neil is like, fine, what the fuck ever. if this is just a cheap fuck then by god im going to enjoy it while it lasts. and he’s starting to think andrew might feel *something*, but there’s no confirmation that can be seen by our lovely oblivious lil man.

Don’t stop, I know that it’s not what

I want but I need somebody to be mine

Oh god, I can’t tell you what’s up

I’m so deep in punch drunk, dumb love

I don’t ever wanna wake up

he doesnt want to be tied down. trusting someone and staying in one place for a long time? no. no way. that’s not something that neil abram josten does. he does not stay, he does not trust anyone, and by god he does NOT fall in love. but he gets to a point where he needs andrew. all he can think of in the hospital is the foxes and andrew, god, ANDREW, the prick he’s fallen in love with and can’t get out of love with. and he begs andrew to let him stay (post baltimore, hotel scene) because he NEEDS to stay, he NEEDS the foxes but more importantly he NEEDS andrew. but he’ll leave if he has to. he’ll leave if andrew asks him to because he cares more about andrew than he does himself, but he can’t explain any of this to andrew, because he’s never felt this before and he doesnt know what he’s even feeling. he just knows that somewhere along the line he fell head over heels into this situation for andrew and god he doesnt think he’ll ever be ready for it to end.

Got me brainwashed, everything is hazy

Am I killing time? Are you killin' me?

Mind games daily, why do I let you play me?

Do you get high watching me bleed?

(Now I’m bleeding out)

this part, for me, is more so a cut to the first book when andrew is just fuckin manic 24/7 because of his drugs. he drugs neil (brainwashed, hazy) and kidnaps him. neil is so stressed out by this situation that he doesn’t know who is winning in this stupid war he has with this psycho midget (am i killing time? are you killing me?). we all know andrew joseph minyard LOVES to torment neil even when shit is chill so he plays mind games with him constantly, and neil just lets it happen, because that’s who neil *is*. nathaniel wouldn’t stand for this shit, but that’s not the personality he’s portrayed and he isn’t eager to break character; not yet. and andrew always is so damn HAPPY, no matter what, bc of the drugs (again, first book for this verse). so the ‘do you get high watching me bleed?’ is like neil being like, do u really enjoy watching everyone around you hurt?? are you actually happy with all of this?

Running in circles while you hurt me, guess I deserve it

'Cause I just keep on worshiping you again and again

And I’m there when you call me 'cause I’m so– *beep*

I don’t want the misery to end

this part is a little tricky to explain canonically, i guess, but i attribute it once more to andrew denying his feelings. nora never explains it in the books, but i know from experience that this is SUCH a confusing scenario to be in. to have someone acting like they care and speaking differently. and neil must have been so confused (running in circles) but he feels he deserves it because it isnt like he’s trying to leave or anything, and he’s always there when andrew asks because like it or not, he’s attached. even tho this confusion sucks sometimes, and the whole hearted belief he has that andrew really does not care hurts beyond belief inside, he buries those feelings because he isnt ready to let andrew go.

that’s pretty much all of it; can you tell i’m obsessed with andreil?? i just love them so much. they’re so special to me. like, i dont think either of them ever saw a relationship coming; it just happened, and that’s what is so inherently beautiful to me about them. it started with a kiss, a ‘yes or no?’ and escalated from there. neil expected one day andrew was going to get bored of him, just like andrew always said he was. but he never did. he never will.

so yeah!! hope u enjoyed xoxo see y’all soon <3

#aftg #song analysis #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #playlists #songs #music

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