#harm talk

[captainjonnitkessler]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

#there is not a third option. it is either trump OR biden #and one of those will be much MUCH worse for palestine #i'm really really sorry that these are the options. i wish they weren't. #but WHAT third option are you trying to take here? what on earth is your proposed outcome #that will actually make things better for palestine? #because letting trump win the election is NOT going to help them #i'm sorry but you need to set aside your feelings and take the option that will lead to less harm to palestine in the long run #you talk such a big game about how people need to be willing to make sacrifices to help palestine #but you yourself aren't even willing to hold your nose and vote to stop things from getting worse? #or did you think 'sacrifice' only meant not getting mcdonalds for a few months? #us politics

[chittychittyyangyang]

Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.

This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.

#ccyy talks #sorry for posting this here but I'm pissed and this shit really needs to stop #For all I know he recorded me too cause I'm young and look healthy but got to go back next #Sorry about your cough buddy but the way things work I was a more immediate emergency #1k #5k #10k #30k #this post clearly has a life of its own now #and in case someone wants to know some clarifications for common points #people in a position of authority/actively hurting someone with the intent to protect/help the person is fine #so cops doctors nurses mental health workers and educators (to name a few) who actively are abusing their power and authority? free game #this post was filming random ass people for Content(tm) #random ass people more so those in distress aren't your content and you do not know the harm you can do to someone by posting that shit #50k

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining) #and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually. #my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY. #anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[lazycranberrydoodles]

getting back into the untamed and i had a thought. / follow for more yllz babygirlism

#i saw someone a while ago talking about how wwx always has good intentions…. #his personal road to hell was paved with good intentions yes but i’m not sure where making a guy eat his own legs fits #it is so funny to me how the tiger tally/yin iron influences wei wuxian differently in each adaptation #i remember making a sliding scale of how ‘culpable’ wwx is from adaptation to adaptation #based on how they portray the mental effects of the iron #but for the life of me i cannot find it :( #wwx really said ‘if i had a cursed amulet i simply wouldnt be corrupted🙄🙄’ #that’s basically what he tells lan zhan in this episode…. if necromancy was having ill effects i would notice #and you know. at this point he is lying about everything. but i do wonder how much he actually believes that 👁️👁️ #how much of his mind is resigned to doing whatever needs to be done to exact revenge regardless of harm to himself #and how much genuinely believes that he’s smart and competent enough to make it through whole #the answer of course is BOTH!! bisexual pride #mdzs #art #mdzs spoilers #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic arts #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #my art #the grandmaster of diabolism #cql #the untamed #魔道祖师 #陈情令 #mdzs meme #doodle #lmao

[kimkhimhant]

to reiterate: an autistic fan headcanoning a character they like and relate to as being autistic is not armchair diagnosing anyone and is not harming anyone. it is not an insult for a character to be headcanoned as autistic, it is not the fan claiming their experience as being the only autistic experience, it is not claiming that there cannot be other interpretations.

an autistic person seeing a character's traits as similar to their own and finding comfort in that is not an insult to that character or to other fans.

an autistic fan headcanoning their favorite character as autistic is not a personal attack against you and your experiences and preferences

it feels incredibly ableist and dismissive to tell autistic fans that headcanoning a character as autistic is Problematic. Autism is not an insult.

#people having character headcanons that are different from yours is not an attack against you or your headcanons #benji talks #kinnporsche #kpts #kim theerapanyakul #fandom discourse #i'm sorry for continuing to post about this but it is seriously harmful #kimchay

[taylorftparamore]

for me, it keeps coming back the now deleted scene in anti-hero where taylor first openly used art about something that directly impacted her mental health. and i get why it would be triggering and uncomfortable to see a thin woman portray herself as "fat" on a scale. i understand the "problematic" edge to it. and yet... i still hate y'all for thinkpiecing her into deleting the scene. it was art about something that directly impacted HER mental health and folks felt entitled to tell her how she could make art about something that impacts HER. that HER MENTAL HEALTH was distressing them, could she pretty please censor it so it would stop triggering them.

like fuck y'all. i hope she never feels the need to censor herself again to cater to you fuck ass bitches. some of you DO need to be told you're being overbearing and entitled, sorry! you don't get to censor art just because you don't like who's making it or feel the person who made it isn't allowed to use art the way they used it.

#like holy shit y'all really told a woman struggling with ed to stop experiencing ed in a way that triggers you #like holy shit holy shit holy shit #none of you are free from fuckin sin #like it was a scene specifically talking about HER ed and how it directly harms her #and none of you were willing to meet it in good faith

[lolottes]

Ida pendant

Ida Manson is Constantine's ex

that ended badly and she created magical distancing pendant and a silencing spell that prevents him from talking about her

When Justice League Dark sends Constantine to Amity Park, he can't even enter the city

he sighs, how is he going to be able to explain this without mentioning ida

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp crossover #ida manson #john constantine #JLD #he recognizes ida's magic #magical ida #ida knows how to make magic objects from scratch #she is the one who taught Sam everything about creating accessories and modifying / customizing her things #she plans to teach her magic when she turns 18 #more by afraid that she will be kicked out of the house before she is ready than out of fear that she will be irresponsible #Pamela knows the basics of making magical artifacts #but refuses to follow the family tradition and make it her profession #or talk about it to Sam especially since she became a goth #she continues all the same modified her jewelry by adding a little lucky charm #a supernatural pinch of luck never did any harm after all #or to do the same to the bargain she offers to her daughter #yes she is slightly hypocritical while loving really his daughter #a lot of people would like an anti-constantine pendant #that's why she also stopped him from talking about her #my #my prompt #my prompts #prompt #I have two other ideas on ida and constantine that I have to edit which I will publish to you in the coming days ;)

[grandwretch]

i so badly want one of those fic examinations of steve's relationship with joyce and hopper but solely through eddie's pov like hear me out

steve and eddie chat a lot in the upside down (and later in the hospital, when they learn hop is alive). steve has taken charge of filling eddie in on the rest of their of-age crew without the kids butting in. he never mentions his own parents, but he talks about the rest of the party's a lot, especially joyce and hopper. eddie knows what it's like to desperately want someone to be your parent and trying to hide it from his own childhood, when he would try to be cool about wayne dropping him off at his dad's house. steve obviously adores joyce and hopper, thinks the world of them and legitimately looks up to them.

eddie isn't sure what he expects from a cop who came back to life and the world's most determined housewife, but he's excited to meet them as someone steve loves.

cue eddie's horror when he realizes that neither of them really feel much for steve rather than annoyance and vague distrust. that joyce trusts will with eddie, an accused murderer, in a heartbeat and still hesitates to leave him with steve. that hopper brushes off every ounce of steve's hero worship and joy.

he tries to broach the topic with steve, gently, and is heartbroken when steve genuinely has no idea what he's talking about. and not because he's oblivious, but because steve thinks that's what he deserves. he thinks that's the parental love that someone who was an asshole in high school needs, because that's what would make him a good person. he needs people to call him out constantly, obviously, because why else would they keep doing it? why would nancy? at least they're here. at least they're not ignoring him. at least they're not forcing him into a box. they just want him to be better.

like, this is the man who thanked a girl for calling him bullshit and telling him she never loved him. he doesn't Know that's not how you're supposed to handle things. no one ever taught him that.

and now eddie's gotta figure out how he can teach steve how to be loved the right way without outing himself and his huge crush on his love-starved dork of a friend.

#shut up az #steddie #i just had the flash of eddie in a hospital bed staring up at hopper and the way he talks to steve in horror #like hopper saying something off the cuff about how he's not surprised there was so much collateral with steve in charge #and eddie thinking about steve always putting himself in harm's way #and the way steve got mauled by bats way before eddie did and then KEPT. GOING. but no one is mentioning that #no one is mentioning that steve was the first one of their group physically hurt by this. #and steve is just nodding like he agrees and eddie doesn't want to be rude bc these ppl are obviously Important to his friends #and then Mike comes in later and says something Mike-y and Eddie snaps at him #then he has to apologize because Mike is a stupid kid who loves Steve in his own way #and Eddie shouldn't blame him for the behavior of adults who should no better just because Mike is an easier target #anyway Eddie doesn't know how to have parents right either so he ropes Jeff and Lucas and Gareth and Robin into OP: Teach Steve Self-Worth

[insomniac-ships]

I wish more people understood that you can have hard limits and boundaries when it comes to fictional content you enjoy without insinuating that anyone who doesn't share similar opinions is some kind of freak/pervert/monster.

#t.k. talks #proship #late night ramblings #well... late-ish #im just tired of the nonsense #you're allowed to not like things!! thats fine!! i also have certain things i Dislike!! #just don't go around making baseless accusations and harmful generalizations about people you know next to nothing about #like... i Don't Like sexualized lolisho stuff. it makes me really uneasy. #but im not out here harassing strangers on the internet over it or calling people ''p*dophiles'' over fictional bullshit #i just don't interact with content i don't like seeing #it's that easy #antis dni

[ruegarding]

the entire point of the blue food was that it was the only way sally could consistently rebel against gabe without getting her or percy punished. sally is not and never was submissive in the books. percy himself says sally has "a rebellious streak, like me." however, sally and percy were under threat of serious abuse from gabe and therefore had to pick their battles. blue food was sally's way of telling percy "i am here and fighting with you" and "there is hope in the world still."

#whenever sally wasn't around gabe threatened percy with physical violence and percy is regularly scared of ppl physically harming him #even before training at camp half blood which is likely bc he was actually physically abused #also part of gabe's abuse was insulting percy's intelligence and i know y'all don't realize how serious that was #bc percy being stupid is a fandom joke and a punchline in rick's newer books #so yes ppl commenting that they changed* gabe's abuse is not just ppl pointing out sally's sassy comebacks as a little strange #thanks for coming to my tedtalk #percy jackson #sally jackson #percy #sally #pjo tv #rr crit #pjo show crit #min talks pjo #*ppl are acting like all abuse is the same so if u comment on gabe's abuse being changed it means ur saying he's not abusive #which isn't at all what is being said here but that's the current level of comprehension we're dealing w at this point

[minhosblr]

Disclaimer: This is all for fun and I love Minho. He's just my little guy with the love language of cooking for his members, making sure they're wellfed and paying for their food without caring about the price. He helps them with dance and looks for things they ask him to look for. He loves cats and plays with the strays. I love my little guy, so this is just for fun!!

*I paraphrased some of these, and used my own translations for some (I mean technically translations are always paraphrasing, right?), so these might not be his exact words (they're not. He said them in Korean, I wrote them in English).

#maja talks #stray kids #lee know #all for fun no harm!!!! #he loves his members and they love him and i love him #maja asks

[kk1smet]

Meeting each other for the first time in St. Mungo’s, years after the bloody war.

“Fucking hell.” Harry tries, and then fails, not to stare at Malfoy’s ass as he heads out of the ward. The robe is just so flattering. “What is Malfoy doing in med school?”

“I can’t do this with you again,” Ron says. “I won’t. I refuse, on moral grounds.” - No Harm by @tessacrowley

Read here.

Starting the year with an art inspired by a fic I feel not so normal about. It’s on its second chapter, and it has me on a perpetual chokehold since the first. The pacing, setting, and their voices completely took my breath away. It started strong, and only gets stronger, like the world just pulls you in and you can’t help but to immerse yourself in it. Tessa has done it again. My heart.

xo, kismet

#drarry #Never will they ever be normal about each other #kismet draws #art inspired by fic #No Harm by tessacrowley #drarry art #artists on tumblr #harry james potter #draco malfoy #I am so down for down and out Draco #Healer!Draco #Auror!Harry #someone help the bloke #he cannot talk normally to his crush #also ron is just so done

[sopranoentravesti]

Gonna make a controversial statement—people on this webbed site had more compassion for the poor white rural Trump supporters than they do for Jews

#let me be clear: I am sympathetic to some of the historical issues faced by people in Appalachia #and having grown up in a red rural country am aware with the issues of poverty and lack of access #and nor do I believe your politics should lead to harm or lack of medical and social services #but also they are 100% willing to fuck the rest of us over and I frankly am not here for being held hostage as a nation by that shit #meanwhile a Jew will talk about antisemitism and people will be like… (((Zionist))) #and we aren’t even getting into if you are Israeli #or even have the lease complicated opinion on medinat yisrael #judenhass #antisemitism #fuck maga

[bluerosefox]

Of Godsons, Fruitloops, and Lois 'I will drag all secrets out into the sun' Lane

Danny loses his parents due to their own lack of safety in the lab (death? Coma? People finally putting their foot down about the Fenton's endangering their kids? Idk pick). Jazz can't take him in due to being in college and living on its campus (and he didnt want to force her into an apartment just to keep him, he saw the prices and knows she'll have to work to make rent) and Danny fears the only place he can go to is... Vlad. (Sam's parents would never let him live with her and Tucker's place doesn't have the room)

Vlad's been lording it over Danny, smug about it all, after all he IS Danny's godfather and he has the space and money to provide for the boy in his time of need.

Only, when digging into Danny's files, his social worker discovers Vlad isn't Danny's godfather, he was meant to be but the Fenton's forgot to send/sign in the final paperwork (even if those documents were the only contact they had with Vlad over the years before the reunion)

No Danny's godparent, the person to take him should anything happen to the Fenton's is....

Lois Lane.

His mom's childhood friend.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #blue rambles #crossover #writing ideas #random idea #danny phantom dc #dpxdc #Lois gets a call about her godson who she hasnt really seen since he was a toddler #both she and Maddie had gotten busy with their lives and careers but did still talk at time #she does still send things and have talked with Danny over the phone though #though last time they spoke was before his accident #when she see's him alarm bells start ringing #Danny just got out of a fight with Skulker and is kinda curling in on himself as Vlad is towering over him and threatening him #Vlad is trying to use Lois as a 'Tell her you wish to stay with me and I wont have to harm her' threat against Danny #ooooh what if Clark was with her #and hears EVERYTHING Vlad's been saying #normally i do the bats but hey I wanna switch it up a bit #Lois has a new rich target to sic her investigate journalism on #'hmmm yes EXACTLY how did you get so rich so fast again Mr. Masters?'

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like .... #tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON. #yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!! #their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!! #like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!! #aND THEY ARE!!! #something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe