#have any personal attachments + i thought 'ok maybe i can get used to some sort of permanence. i'll figure out a way to get this

[stinkbeck]

i'm like "HELL yeah i gotta listen to 'So What!'" and then i do and 2 seconds in i'm crying and being like "why do i hate my life"

#it's cause i gotta make a stupid fucking decision. i got this couch on clearance because it was the last one they made + it's a really #good couch that i love and nobody else likes it but like whatever but like i love it soooo much + they don't make them anymore #and it's really well-designed but if i want to take the couch with me i have to barter away the rest of my freedom #+ it's like . yeah it's pretty much not worth it #but they don't make the couch anymore + i didn't even want a couch + my mom made me feel like an animal for not having a #couch even though the only person who visits is her + it's just because she likes the area and can hang out with friends there #and it's like. she made me buy this dumbass couch + i found one that i actually liked + they don't make it anymore + i won't get a deal #like that again anyway + it's just a really good looking couch!!!! T_T #and it took me so long to let myself like it because it scared the shit out of me that i'd have something so big + useless that #i'd have to figure out how to get rid of on my own later because nobody was gonna help me with anything + then over the course of a year #i started to think maybe i was a person and not just like some half-ghost thing that runs around solving the family's crises so it can't #have any personal attachments + i thought 'ok maybe i can get used to some sort of permanence. i'll figure out a way to get this #couch to come along with me when i move. it'll be like a sort of symbol for me saying that the things i like are important no matter #how silly they seem to other people' but now i have to sell everything off or whatever if i don't want my parents involved and #ruining my life again. #yolo! u just can't fucking win lol

[ashtxrie]

oh no... am i falling in love? (sunoo)

PAIR. high school!sunoo x gn!reader GENRE. fake dating au, high school au, best friends to lovers, fluff WORD COUNT. 2.2k WARNINGS. none! NOTES. first post kinda nervous!! <//3 i need a sunoo irl he is truly the greenest of green flags

you and sunoo are those friends

you’ve got that type of friendship where something clicked and suddenly you were both attached at the hip for years

because apparently having the same clear muji pencil case with the holy grail 0.5 black muji pen at the beginning of middle school meant best friends ride or die in seventh-grade culture

like, someone who prioritized aesthetics in notetaking as much as you did? even in the confines of this crusty campus? crazy.

but anyway, with you being absolutely intent on making friends, sunoo couldn’t get rid of you if he tried but pls he could never survive without you anyway... who else would he trust enough to exchange his top-tier notes with?

and since then you’ve both been best friends for life! well, ever since the +6 with the introduction of sunoo's other friends [read: the rest of enhypen...]

and at first you were super happy because new friends!

but then they kind of stopped hanging out with you in the middle of sophomore year or so and went off into their own little world

and you were a little sad

ok maybe a lot sad. devastated, even.

but that was okay because that meant you were able to meet new friends and expand your horizons! you even got the chance to focus on yourself and join some new clubs, too!

who even is sunoo anymore lmao you don’t know him

but anyway

it was junior year and you were so tired of your friends bugging you to get a s/o

“[name], why don’t you date someone?”

“you’d really hit it off with so and so, don’t you think?”

“just put yourself out there”

ರ_ರ

ayo... excuse me

so one day you just can’t take it anymore

and maybe you should’ve thought this through but... nope

you don’t pause to think things through

because life is for living in the moment hell yes yolo gang

“umm guys i’m already dating someone!”

needless to say your friends go INSANE

like who tf is [name] gatekeeping from us they’re so fake /j

so like any sane and mentally adept person, you say the first name that comes to mind

“hahaha … sunoo!”

your friends stare at you. flabbergasted, shocked, stunned beyond words.

blink blink

“but … weren’t you guys just friends”

“NO”

you’re panicking but

trust

“we’re in LOVE”

ur friends are really like ok whatever, but go off

and that is how you find yourself dragging yourself over to sunoo's fifth period and placing your hands on sunoo's shoulders

“promise me you won’t freak out”

and ofc sunoo is already freaking out

bc why are you standing in front of the ap lang classroom with this crazily determined face and forcing him to listen to you

and this is how you get into this situation

with sunoo having a literal double take and you doing your best "pls help me out i beg of you" impression

“i can’t DATE you”

what

you give sunoo your best professional face even though inside you’re ???

bc um is it that bad to date you??

you are confused???

you’ve saved sunoo thousands of times in his high school career in both academics and social standing he can afford to pretend to date you ONCE

“WHY NOT”

“BECAUSE”

...

is he being fr rn

obviously you’re not getting anywhere and you turn around to walk away, kind of annoyed

“fine then, i’ll just find someone else to date me.” shrug (dies inside).

as soon as you say that, it’s like you’ve flipped a switch and suddenly sunoo is very concerned and almost a little upset

and when you don’t notice him contemplating something, he runs in front of you and nearly knocks you over

“second thoughts?”

sunoo scowls

although it looks more like a lil pout pushing at his lips and he crosses his arms

lmao who is this and what’s happened to sunoo

you shrug and start to leave for real until sunoo reaches out to tug at your arm

“NO, NO WAIT … I’LL DO IT”

you whirl around immediately and you are needless to say, very relieved!

｡◕‿◕｡

“perfect!”

but apparently sunoo hasn’t recovered from his fall from before

bc he can’t stop rubbing his hand against his neck and his face is all blotchy and pink

kinda cute, but in a best friends way.  like wowie my best friend looks kinda adorable look at that boy go

but ofc sunoo has to ruin the special moment because he offhandedly says, “shouldn’t we have rules or something?”

rules???

RULES???

this is fake dating sunoo wdyfm rules? that's so silly goofy

“huh?”

“like … things not to do? maybe one big rule is not ruining our friendship???”

ʘ‿ʘ

oh

he kinda smart for that

“ok easy then, just don’t fall in love with me”

apparently this is the WRONG thing to say?

sunoo is RED like boy is not pink anymore his cheeks are burning red

“you can’t just say that?”

????

you are confused bc what does that even mean

“why not?”

“that’s like ...  y-you you can’t just say that.”

you are, if possible, even more confused?

“okay and?”

sunoo blinks

pls this boy has the audacity to just shrug

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

u are dumb af sunoo bout to throw hands here

but he won’t bc he loves u <3

so fifteen minutes later you guys decide to make three big rules

sunoo had a whole list of like twenty but you narrowed it down to these:

1. don’t ruin ur friendship

2. no kissing

3. and ur paying for three rounds of mint choco ice cream after this is over

honestly you think this is kinda rude considering sunoo is richer than ur entire life but whatever, at least he’s not leaving you out to the wolves

so when it’s finally time to put this fake dating thing to the test, you tug sunoo over to your side of the table during lunch and make sure to swing his hand

which actually feels kind of nice??

like you’ve never actually thought about this before

but sunoo is comforting

his hand fits right in yours, and he’s so warm

and i mean haha it’s not like this is a new thing, you two hold hands all the time!! but adjkaldjkfl not in a dating way

ur friends are shocked. bamboozled.

like they never thought you’d actually show up with a DATE

and bc they’re all RUDE they grill sunoo

but sunoo is best boy

best bf

and answers all their questions like a pro

that's my man

i mean what???

ur so proud

you let ur head rest against sunoo's shoulder and BITCH

sunoo presses a kiss to ur forehead

YO........................ insane.

why are u so happy? what is this??

it’s just so gentle and soft and you feel your heart getting all mushy and warm

your friends all give a big collective aww because one, they’re annoying af and yes y’all are cute cute and this is cute

but ur going through some existential crisis

and later when you’re walking with sunoo to all your classes, you can’t stop thinking that hey, this fakedating thing isn’t that bad

but whatever it’s just cause u miss spending time with sunoo!

yes, that’s it!

you’re just sad that sunoo always hangs out with his new group and you don’t get to see him as much

so this is nice!

you’re just going through some bff nostalgia rn... it's just gonna take some time for [name].exe to start working again

anyway now bc of this fakedating thing, you and sunoo just spend so much time together

like you guys have always been best friends, but this feels different

sunoo will run over to you when he sees you and wrap his arms around your waist

the first time he did it, he had the cuteness to go “is this okay? are you okay? is this too much?"

and YOUR HEART WENT !!!!!

you might’ve blushed

okay you did

but you convince yourself it’s just because ur touch starved and bitchless

c’mon... get it together

but whenever you call sunoo and wave at him, his face just LIGHTS up

and you’re pretty sure yours does too

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

needless to say, you kinda don’t want this all to end

because somewhere in the middle of all this, your head has gone from calling sunoo your fake boyfriend to your real boyfriend

and you don’t really want to go back to just being friends if you’re honest

wait hold up

uh oh

UH OH CODE RED

INTERPOL INTERPOL.....

did you just admit you liked sunoo?? in a FOR REALS way?

UMMMMM

so like the only way you know how to deal with things, you avoid it!

you start to act really distant

and now whenever sunoo wraps his arms around you, you stiffen up

and sunoo like the angel he is pulls away so quickly bc ?? is his best friend upset? uncomfortable?

did HE make his best friend for life, his 4lifer, uncomfortable? omg this isn’t ok what is happening

everyone can tell something is up

ofc they can, what with you going to the extent of running away whenever you see sunoo and sunoo reacting like the entire light got blown out his life

and bffr sunoo may be innocent but he ISN'T dumb

he knows your schedule he KNOWS you’re ignoring him

and baby is upset

because lately you’ve been starting to feel a lot more to him

and now you’re just gone??

that’s not okay and sunoo isn’t just gonna sit around and be sad

if there’s something he can do he’s gonna do all he can to try to fix it!

he corners you one day and holds up an angry piece of paper

“excuse me but you broke rule number one which is, in case you forgot, don’t RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP”

“oh haha uh sunoo! hi uhh i gotta go 👉👉 ”

sunoo's face falls

and that was it

you just wanna hold his cheeks and tell him things are fine and that you love him

wait WHAT

but sunoo is still staring at you with that wounded look

like you’ve just ripped up his heart and torn it to shreds

bc that’s kinda what you’re doing

omg what’ve you done

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

“sunoo…”

his eyes lock onto yours so fast that you’re afraid he’s got whiplash

your mouth goes dry, and for a few moments it’s hard to talk

but you finally manage to tell him that “i don’t think we should fake date anymore.”

sunoo's face breaks

his eyes go wide, and it looks like he wants to stagger. and he almost does, just a little bit

“is it something i did?”

WHAT

this boy

kim sunoo is really gonna be the death of you

you’re shaking your head back and forth so fast because NO of course not of course this isn’t his fault

sunoo is Not Okay, and he looks so, so concerned for you. “because i swear i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. if i screwed up just tell me and i can fix it, [name], please”

you shake ur head, already starting to panic.  “of course not.  it’s not YOU sunoo. i just can’t fake date you because--”

you clamp your hands over your mouth

“because?” sunoo prompts, his voice careful

you just shake your head, already starting to turn and run back to somewhere, anywhere because this is stupid and you’re scared

terrified, actually

but sunoo just takes your hand and tugs you backward a bit, almost like a scene from a movie

you do that little twirl back and are face to face with the one and only

“do you … do you like me?” sunoo asks

that’s it

it’s out

you’re ready for your entire friendship with sunoo to come crashing down

“do you?” he repeats softly

you try to pull away but sunoo isn’t having it

he’s still holding onto your hand, gently, of course, and his eyes are boring into yours

you’re too scared to look because you’re afraid of what you’ll find

but when you can’t take it anymore and finally tilt your head up you realize something important

because his eyes aren’t full of disgust

in fact, that’s further from the truth

kim sunoo is staring at you with the biggest heart eyes you’ve ever seen and you’re confused as to how you’ve never seen this sooner

it’s almost like you’re his whole world, and now you can’t fucking breathe

is this real? chat is this fr rn??

your heart’s pounding in your chest so fast and there’s something bursting at your lungs

you nod faintly.  “yes. i like you”

the huge grin that spreads across sunoo's face is everything

he rushes forward to pull you into a gigantic hug, even lifting you up a little as he spins you around and lets out a little happy noise

“i’ve liked you forever, [name], i can’t believe this is real”

what

so u could’ve been dating sunoo before??

“you dork why didn’t you tell me?”

“because you didn’t like me like that!”

BITCH WHAT

“well maybe i was confused” you pipe back

sunoo just laughs, burying his head in your shoulder.  “i’m so happy right now.”

and honestly ?

so are you !!

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen blurbs #enhypen fic #enhypen sunoo #kim sunoo #sunoo #sunoo x reader #sunoo imagines #sunoo fluff #sunoo fic #sunoo soft hours #ashtxrie #— ash writes!

[thewriterowl]

I saw your tags on your Luke Skywalker post and you’re 100% right that he made the right choice in TBOBF!! I was totally astounded by how many people were angry at him in this show and believe it ‘ruined his character’. And for what? Letting Grogu choose his own fate? He was probably the only person in the entire Mando series to give him the ability to have a say in his own life. Ugh, I swear these people just don’t even like Luke’s character. Sorry for dumping this vent on you, I just saw your post and I’m glad someone else agrees with me <3

Thank you!! More stuff to fanatically rant about cause I have THOUGHTS. This and what he did to Kylo are stuff I’m biting at the bit to defend.

Now, ok, I can agree the execution of it was not the best. They cut corners because they used too much money in his face rather than giving us a new actor so we could have more screen time. Had they given Luke more screen time for that final scene to be longer it would’ve been better. Disney is still not treating Luke right by any means and I just wanna grab him and wrap him up in a blanket and publish my own book on him.

That being said…

Luke was in the right. No, he wasn’t saying Grogu shouldn’t love his father. Again (and again and again) attachment is NOT relationships of any kind. It’s NOT love. How people still feel like that’s what Luke and the Jedi meant boggles my mind. Attachment is possessiveness and the lie of love. It’s a poison. Grogu had some of that and it was shown in season 1 when he tried to choke Cara out. He’s a toddler with power that can corrupt if not carefully guided.

Luke asked Grogu to unlock his memories and Grogu consented. Luke asked Grogu to choose the Jedi life now (and with his age may not ever see his father again; cause Din himself wasn’t coming back thanks to AHSOKA not Luke—funny how only he’s blamed when he clearly gave Din coordinates) or go back to his father now able to defend himself and Grogu thought about the choice and accepted what it could mean thanks to Luke’s guidance.

Honestly, with Luke’s affinity for love and his past with his father, I could’ve seen him urge Grogu to go back to Din (and maybe he did we just didn’t get to see it, friggen Disney) if not for the fact Grogu needs to learn to make hard decisions. He knows he has Luke and knows he has Din no matter what but he needs to learn to face the anxiety and consequences in the galaxy he’s living in.

You are 100% in how much freedom and respect Luke gives Grogu (is it maybe too much for what is about a toddler+? Maybe! Positives can turn to negatives in teaching and parenting and no one is perfect—-including Din) and is the one who really gives him back his inner strength and confidence.

Luke had Grogu for what? Two or three years? (SW really needs to work on providing us clear time jumps)The two were close. They clearly cared for each other. Luke let Grogu go after the choice was made. Grogu learned from that. He saw Luke be selfless and let him decide his path, even if it may keep them apart but there is the hope they will find each other again (IT SHOULD! God I want coparenting Dinluke). Luke is not turning his back to Grogu. Grogu can reach out and/or return at any time and Luke will answer.

So yes, Luke was right.

#star wars #luke skywalker #the mandalorian #book of boba fett #dinluke #I will stand on this hill #Luke is a good hearted character #he has flaws #but he was right #and it’s hard to include him sending Grogu off on his own and not go meta #cause that was clearly done cause they ran out of money #this and him towards Kylo I will defend #Luke Skywalker defense squad

[moonlight-tmd]

I was just reading though some of your older stuff and saw mention of a Sparkeater Bee au, though I can't find much on it. I was wondering if you had anymore thoughts for it and which ship you would go with for it. Personally I could see it leaning more ShockBee thank anything with Long Arm finding out about Bee needing extra rations in Bootcamp and helping sneak him what he needs. After he comes Long Arm Prime, he also tweaks their supplies to make sure there's extra energon in there for Bee to have without anyone raising an eyebrow at why the crew on Earth would need so much.

When the Elite Guard goes to Earth, he makes sure to go with them to he can see Bee and check in on him to make sure he's ok. And maybe if Bee ever can't hold himself back anymore and has to start eating sparks, Shockwave can add little... canisters addressed to Bee in the supply shipments. After all, no one would really notice if a few of the bots who are on the cybertronian equivalent of death row decided to "take the process into their own hands". Not like anyone would look for their missing spark, nor would there be any guilt attached to eating someone so evil. Right?

You know, I have yet to have an AU that is purely ShockBee.

This is a perfect opportunity you gave me right here, anon.

Yeah, I never wrote anything about it other that this brief mention because I found Cyberbeast AU to be more interesting. So-

Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU

-in my AU, Sparkeaters are a product of a disease of Cybertron origin. It forces the host to become cannibalistic and lose their sanity and conscious to the point of being hungry ravaging monsters. Each Sparkeater still has a resemblance to their original form as Cybertronian, but more monstrous, famished-looking and with 4 bladed tentacles coming out the back.

There is a treatment to delay the disease, but it isn't enough to stop or fight against it. Cybertron Law and Medical Code was altered to kill anyone who had the disease to prevent engangering the population Of course, there is no purges like when the disease had its "gold era" but anyone who has the disease detected will be personally hunt down by Elite Guard.

There are few who managed to stay hidden all this time, trained themselves to keep the darkness under control and eat whatever sated their hunger; be it energon, live-scrap or Sparks of those who wouldn't be missed, probably. Bumblebee was one of them. From a young age he was exposed to any barceria since he was living on the streets, but he got the disease shortly before becoming a youngling. He met another stray bot who also had the disease and that's how he learned what he will be now and how to keep it on a leash. Although unlike the rest he never taken anyone's Spark. He refused to hurt anyone like this if there was an alternative. He was a pretty good thief so he managed to stick with energon.

Then he went to boot camp, he hoped that once he will be in Elite Guard then he'll be able to get more ways to sate himself, but life had different path for him...

He met Longarm and Bulkhead, Bee was quite sceptical to the idea of being around other normal bots, he was very aware of what could happen if one got too close and he got hungry. Nonetheless, Bulkhead stuck with him and made him his friend. Longarm on the other hand, he wasn't as pressing to be his friend, the two sorta drifted together until there was friendship. Longarm noticed an odd demeanor Bee had but brushed it off because Bulkhead wasn't any more normal.

One time when they were supposed to hang out, Longarm came into Bee's private room and found the medical documents laying on his berth- he immediately knew they were forged, he himself was using forged papers. When Bee came in after taking a shower and saw Longarm browsing his important stuff he was on high alert, but Longarm seemed to believe the fake medical case and offered to help him out. Of course, Bee took it, he couldn't risk not being able to contain himself.

So Longarm/Shockwave steals significant amount of energon from the supply closet and gives it to Bee. He's not stupid, he's seen bot with similar conditions and connected the dots- he knew the risk of having an afflicted nearby but he also knew of ways to keep the disease at bay... He's grown to like the little bot and wouldn't want him to die because of it. This however didn't last too long- the officers were investigating the cadets about the stolen supplies and found them inside Bee's suite. The scout was suspended but found himself taking shelter in Bulkhead's room. So Longarm kept bringing him the extra fuel, altho this time he was being careful when stealing it.

Bulkhead got him into repair crew then while Longarm stayed to graduate. Bee was nervous to learn he was on the same ship with a medic who could uncover the danger and ruin him. He was lucky enough that Ratchet also believed the professionally forged documents and assigned him the extra rations. He thanked Primus when Ratchet didn't double check the scans he made when Bee got injured. Longarm stayed in contact with Bee, making sure he has everything he needs for his 'defect'.

When he heard about the repair crew going missing he feared Bee has done something- he didn't want this to be true... In the meantime said crew crashed on earth and Bee resorted to eating old car parts and oil from the local scrap yards. It almost tasted like a mech- not that he'd know, it just felt like it would. He... chose not to think about it and just kept himself busy while the energon supply shrank with every month.

While being on earth, Sari got to learn about Sparkeaters when she was talking some stories and stuff about the human version- vampires. She even got to hear the little rhyme that was told to sparklings sometimes so they'll listen to their parents. (this neat post i found) Bee found himself uneasy hearing what others think of them, he felt his own spark stop when he instictively commented that they can't be that bad and that they're still a mech inside. Thankfully the others didn't catch onto it and just kept wondering about Sparkeaters and if there's an actual way to either get rid of them or help them.

Then Decepticons came around. In the short interactions with Blitzwing he suspected he might also have the disease... but the longer the banters between them went Bee realized he's just a wierd cannibal and not much more.

In any other circumstances Bee would've hated it but right now he was glad Sentinel tracked down the evil bunch and found them also. Energon was once again flowing... and that wasn't the only good thing.

Longarm spend nearly all his free time searching for Bee or any signs of his whereabouts. He knew the last signal of Decepticons was send just before the encounter of the crew Bee was in so hearing that they've tracked the same signal somewhere further in the galaxy made him eager to go and check for himself- not even if his actual secret-allies are ok, just if Bee's there.

Sure enough, the autobot Blurr he's been paired up with for the mission send him a back-up signal while he was investigating something in the alley- there was Bee, being seized up by Blurr, Long didn't listened the reason for arrest, he only ran towards the mini and hugged him, He couldn't have been happier.

Bee was also very happy, he couldn't get enough of Long's company- more so when he said he's been looking for him all this time. It was very sweet...

They stayed together on earth for a while, Longarm visited often and called him all the time when Elite Guard left earth's atmoshere.

Eventually someone pointed out how much Bee and Long hang out and hinted at there being more than a friendship. Bee denied... Longarm was kind and he did everything to make sure Bee is okay, he hated to admit but he did like Longarm a lot, more than just a friend even, but he couldn't risk hurting him if he knew what he was.

He tried his best to ignore the little gestures, the lingering touches and words with deeper meaning Longarm said when he was feeling vulnerable. He tried to resist, he wasn't meant to have a good life... Yet, Longarm seemed to disagree. He went out of his way to spend as much time with Bee as possible, brought him gifts and any supplies needed without question.

When Longarm took him out on a lone drive around the city... Bee was scared, he knew it shouldn't happen. But when Longarm had them sit on a meadow by the lake and started speaking about how much he cares about Bee, he couldn't muster all the strength he had to turn him away. Bee kept avoiding the question and bringing up all the reasons he couldn't date him- mostly his 'defect'. He froze when Longarm admitted to knowing what he was, he almost couldn't believe when he said he loves him and he'll do anything to help him. And he meant anything.

Bee gave up, there was no point in denying it any longer. Bound to break or not, Bee was gonna be happy for as long as he could with Longarm. So were the others when they found out about the new-formed couple.

For the relationship itself; Both Longarm and Bee know they can't truly be together- sparkbonding or even interfacing is a high risk of contracting the disease. They still find other means to make it work.

I don't think Bee would be so desperate to eat Sparks at any point as long as he has enough energon... but i suppose after the space barnacles incident before the crew was found he wasn't doing good and was forced to stuff himself with as much scrap as possible to shut the internal dread and hunger. The incident after Sari accidentally blasted and nearly killed him left a huge pit in his tank that he couldn't bring to satisfaction... He never had such bad injuries that would require so much sustenance to ease. At that point he couldn't let Longarm near- but Longarm promised, and promises are to be kept.~ The next time he visited he brought a package for Bee to open in private. They both sat in his room, doors and windows locked tight, curtains pulled. Inside was a medical transportation jar with a still-live Spark. At first Bee was scared of what Longarm has done, Longarm explained he gotten it from the "death row criminals" and Bee didn't have to worry... Which he couldn't really do at this point, the hunger rose with each second he stared at the unprotected Spark...

Those who learned to control the disease could make it hasten on command, allowing them to utilize the Sparkeater form(or certain features) while still being themselves. Getting back to normal was a bit more challanging than turning tho... Normally when Bee had to go wild he'd stuff his tank with any vehicle he found on the way until he was good... Now that he was lavished with a Spark containing so much energy and minerals to satisfy him, it was no trouble keeping it down. He almost regretted not doing this sooner. After that the hunger was not an issue- the Spark took a good while to fully digest in his tank... The biggest issue in that time was avoiding Ratchet and his scanner. He was relieved when he felt the other Spark finally give out in him and Ratchet forced him to go take the overdue system scan.

Geez that is long. I blame you for making me wanna write about it more now. Thank you for the ask.

#maccadam #tfa #ask box #tfa bumblebee #tfa au #sparkeater!bumblebee au #shockbee #long post

[the-dominant-wife]

Hi I noticed a recent post of yours where you were rightly bragging rather wonderfully about how you can make your hubwife cum from pegging.

https://at.tumblr.com/the-dominant-wife/703933322795024384/dl9enqoe7t1i

I wondered whether you could elaborate and maybe share your approach, techniques and equipment you use to achieve this?

My submissive is in p.a secured chastity on a permanent basis and I have no desire to unlock him, I use him sexually to provide me with oral on demand but he will never be permitted to have penetrative sex with me. I may decide to cuck him in the future but for now his talented, eager tounge is very efficient and well trained at this point so my need to replace his penis is not currently a priority or need of mine.

I've decided that the most suitable and appropriate way for @female-leds-boy (my submissive) to orgasm on a strictly controlled monthly basis should be while still secured in chastity and from me pegging him. I've so far been unsuccessful after numerous attempts and would very much appreciate any advice or techniques you might be able to share with me. It's my desire he should only ever cum for me this way.

Thank you in advance.

In admiration and respect of your FLR.

MS xx

Thank you for what is clearly a well-thought out question. I also think it's admirable that you're being so considerate of your submissive and his needs while at the same time establishing parameters that fit your needs!

Chastity doesn't mean someone can't enjoy orgasms. Sure, they won't be orgasms that a more alpha male will have, but nonetheless, it's an orgasm and one befitting of their status.

I'll share what I've found works for me and in turn, works for her/hubwife :)

First let me say that I make love to my hubwife this way (pegging) because I find it enjoyable. I do take her feelings into consideration but my enjoyment is the primary motivating factor to "fucking" my wife. Her enjoyment is really a by-product of my own.

Also, her orgasms are never "guaranteed." In other words, she doesn't orgasm every time I make love to her. I would say that it happens probably about 60-70% of the time. Here's a list of things to consider:

Finger Fuck Your Sub: The first thing I would recommend is your (the Domme) becoming familiar with your submissive's prostate. Using plenty of lubricant and your finger, do some exploring of his boi-pussy. If you find it too messy use some latex gloves...make believe you're a doctor doing a prostate exam...lol. Get in the mood with him, get him to relax, and gently "do your thing" and see if you can bring him to orgasm this way. It might take time but it can be lots of fun. Here's a link to WebMd that discusses the prostate and orgasms. I think it would be very helpful: Prostate Orgasm: What is it?

The Strap-on Dildo: Once you've enjoyed finger-fucking him, it's time to move on to doing it with your "girl-cock!" While women love a man-sized cock, a boi's pussy isn't made the same way as ours. It might make for great pornography, but the pictures of Dommes with massive sized dildos is simply not realistic or for that matter, safe. Find a realistic looking dildo (don't ever buy one that is hollow plastic) that is of reasonable size, sturdy and somewhat flexible. It shouldn't cost a fortune, but to look for the cheapest either. You get what you pay for. Shop around, read reviews, etc. If possible shop in person. Big cities have fetish shops that usually have quality toys.

The Harness: Next, don't skimp when you buy a harness. Shopping online is ok, but I bought the harness I use in person, at a fetish shop that sold quality leather goods and other toys. You want something that is going to fit you comfortably and can be worn securely. The dildo you use also has to be attached securely. You want to be able to "go through the motions" naturally without things becoming loose or flapping around! Bottom line is: Get quality toys.

Lubricant: More important than anything else is to make sure you use plenty of it. "More than you really need" is always better. In my opinion, thicker lube is better. You may want to explore by trying out a few different ones. It's worth the effort and time, and it's not like you can't have fun with the exploration. Here's a link from Women's Health Magazine reviewing different lubes: 19 Best Lubes for Anal Sex, per Sex Therapists.

Technique & Positions: I've been able to give my hubwife orgasm in different positions. Variety is good and it might depend on your own mood. I like the missionary or "diaper" position because it lets me look into her eyes when I'm making love to her. I've done it a couple of ways both when we're both on the bed or with her at the edge of the bed while I'm standing on the floor. The diaper position is probably my favorite. Doggie style is good for when I'm feeling more dominant, getting her on all fours and slapping her girlish ass at the same time, maybe grabbing her hips as I thrust into her (I'm getting a little horny just writing this...lol). You'd also be surprised at how well you can penetrate your submissive lying side by side, you behind him in a spooning position. Again, explore them all.

When it comes to technique, take it slow. While you're the Domme and in charge, this shouldn't be a rape scene for the two of you. Though he will experience some "fullness" and different feelings, it shouldn't be a painful experience for him/her. Be sensual about it. Tease him gently with the tip of your well lubed "cock" rubbing against his pretty little rosebud. Penetration should be slow. Go back and forth just a little bit at a time. Don't be in a hurry to go deep all at once. Note that the aforementioned finger fucking I recommended will be a big help when it comes to developing your own technique. You'll know when the tip of your "cock" brushes up close to your sub's prostate. Be patient. You'll get there!

Set the mood: Know what turns your submissive on. Be tactile if necessary. Words matter....be verbal with them. If you're a good dominant, you already know how to push their buttons. Now's the perfect time to use that knowledge. In my case, I honestly believe that my words are what really set her off. I may tell her what a good fuck she is, make her beg for my cock, etc. It could be a blend of sexy talk, humiliation or whatever works for both of you. The mood you're in is incredibly important. Remember, the brain is the most powerful sex organ, it's there that all orgasms begin and are enjoyed!

Other Toys: Something else you may want to experiment with, particularly in the beginning of your "journey" is the use of a vibrator against her chastity cage as you are penetrating her. It's a form of masturbation I suppose, but it will bring her to orgasm most times. Maybe consider it a treat!

Preparation: This is something that isn't discussed very much. It's hard to get comfortable and difficult to enjoy yourself if your submissive's rectum isn't ready. You get what I'm talking about. If you're planning a lovemaking session with your submissive ahead of time, you might want to make them douche. It'll be worth it. If you're into making love this way regularly, make sure they are on a healthy diet that is high in fiber. Here's another link from WebMD: Anal Douching: What to Know

As you can see there are several factors that in my opinion, are necessary to consider if you want to enjoy pegging your submissive and bring him to orgasm. In many ways it is a trial and error process but a worthwhile one as you figure out what works for you. Providing a chastised male, sissy, hubwife etc. is a beautiful thing - a gift they will certainly appreciate.

Best of luck. I'd love to hear how you progress!

[21stcenturyschizoidfag]

OK SO. HERE IS.. avery 21stcenturyschizoidfags very silly impromptu mewtuals hunger games simulator thingulator post. this thing was fucking long i didnt realise maybe i'm just crazy and beautiful. will post the next bit after

AS A REMINDER HERE IS THE ROSTER.. i didnt really have any specific metric for who i added i just added who i thought would find this funny to be totally honest. and the caroline polacheks mole v azealia banks spoon thing is a reference to this i just find it really funny because i dont personally like caroline polacheks music also i ahve a facial mole like hers too. OK LETS BEGIN. BTW click on the images to see them better :)

da bloodbath

shaan being so scary like halloween time... ANA FUCKING DOWN LIKE STRAIGHT AWAY due to famed non-binary lesbian ally nicolas cage dracula in the movie renfield 2023... papa pavel and baby emilio working together ahh so cutes.. ram said im NOT starving in here. dee plans to FIGHT. everyone else gets the hell out of there

I FUCKING STRANGLED ISA TO DEATH ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ann doing everyone a favor and scaring that mole out of here.. aviv and cassis working together awww so friendlys. Someone gave proxy bombs which is very scary dont trust him with those his icon is the joker for a reason

day one and fallen tributes

dee and pavel each get stuff from one of numerous stans worldwide. mia sneaks up on mr. flow3 while hes busy writing dracula flow 4.. mr cage dracula and my friend olive feeling adventurous. mariam gets craftyyy and ellie wellie is homesick for equestria.. scott is a feminist as expected and scare-ah lives to see another day

cassis doing some tom and jerry stuff to accy OKAYY.. carolines mole uses its connections to caroline polachek proper (its attached to her face -_-) to get UNFAIR support from a stan. Nobody is surprised. BIGENDER TEAMUP from me and shaan.. I dont know how xe can bear to be around me after i STRANGLED ISA. TO DEATH. The oomfs are going hunting.. and then proxy takes my son hunting. I SURE HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO MY SON. & we mourn the loss of two souls. gone too soon.. gone too soon

night one

this broke my heart the fact that emilio is having trouble sleeping like EMILIOOO ): I LOVE YOU.. max doing everyone a favor by killing carolines mole BUT with the INCREDIBLY tragic loss of ELLIEEE.. mia and proxy chilling.. vi being an incredible chef and resourceful at that. is anyone surprised (smiles beautifully). the INSANE triple combo death of two incredible gay men and a beautiful and insane bigender. TRAGIC TRAGIC SHIT? Pavel spares the life of mr. flow3. Cassis has a little nap in a tree.. mariam having a mariam moment and ram REFUSING to allow it. mariam LIVES. ann like vi is very skilled in the kitchen and everyone claps and smiles. Me and that FUCKING spoon seem to have hit it off

day two and fallen tributes

emilio, accy & cassis are feeling adventurous asf.. me + olive + ram + sarah decide its time for food innit. AVIV PAVEL DEE AND MIA DIE. JUST LIKE THAT? THEY JUST DIE. THEY JSUT DIED? LIKE THAT. THEYRE DEAD NOW. LIKE BYE EVERYONE THEYRE JUST DEAD? i will mourn them. mariam and max are IN. THE TRENCHES. watch out please.. proxy and mr. flow3 are getting their battle tactics in

Rest in peace to these fucking legends. We lost so many in ONE FUCKING ROUND. so many incredible individuals just gone like that. Greyed out pavel kitten and slay sister callie is making me scream laughing. Scoot and paddington greyed out is like who are these two little scamps. Good lord. GOOD LORD.

night two

Ram is sick what the hell when did that happen. IM IN TEARS OVER MARIAM BEGGING ANOTHER PERSON TO KILL HER. LIKE GIRL I KNOW ITS THE HUNGER GAMES BUT IM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW CAN YOU STOP? & LIKE ASKING MY SON TOO?? trenches. cassis sabotages THE SAD FROWNER scare-ah (maybe its for the best..) A spoon climbs a tree. i would love to see that. mr flow3 and ann also climb trees.. Olive is so focking cold. Dogboy bonding.. theyre giving proxy more fucking explosives i swear to g-d. OK accy looking at the night sky did make me a bit emotional because like he IS an alien.. is he homesick too? im so sorry. they took your ufo away from you to put you in these sick and twisted games..

TO BE CONTINUED..

#averyposting #sillies

[weebsinstash]

Something that has been on my mind throughout this whole Yandere! Miguel O’Hara, is the idea of a Spider-Girl Gabriella O’Hara in another reality that lost her dad in that reality, her canon event, that made her become Spider-Girl, and Miguel (Earth-928B) becoming a Yandere parent. He lost his baby girl once, he’s not going to loose her again.

The problem with that in of terms of like me writing is, I prefer when the focus of my stories is the reader insert character and that would kind of be basically sort of making an OC just about, but I've definitely thought about like, yandere Miguel and friends looking after a Reader who may be still growing up or, Miguel is in his 30s or 40s so even a Reader in their 20s can still be a sort of student with him (I'm 26 ok let me live, I'm still considered young right 🥺🥺🥺 I need to be someone's baby girl too 🥺🥺🥺)

I keep gravitating back to "Miguel who lost his wife and child x reader who was spiderwoman 2099 who lost her Miguel and child and both of you did the whole tried to replace my family thing" and also like, imagine Miguel bonding with you because you can relate to his experiences more personally and intimately than anyone else and one day a second Miguel shows up and unlike "the main one" MiguelDos DID have a version of you as a partner and he's trying to convince you to come home with him. Like imagine your Miguel is so incredibly attached and protective of you and he sees you're spending a suspicious amount of time with the new version of him and, yeah he's jealous, but he's worried about potential consequences so he goes to talk to you and before he can, you start first, "Miguel, the other you has to go, he wants me to try and break canon and go home with him and--"

Miguel just being absolutely furious (not with you, never you) because you've been through a horribly traumatic experience and it is so strong and brave that you're still going (he would know, he's doing the same thing too) and now some copycat asshole is trying to sway you? Take you away? Miguel hears you say "he thinks because I don't have a home universe anymore that I exist outside my own canon and that I could come to his home universe and he wants a baby" and Miguel just sees RED

Maybe he even starts checking security footage and he can see that like, yeah Miguel2 has some sort of genuine affection for you but it's obvious he is also loakey manipulating you, trying to get you drunk and in bed, getting you tipsy to try and convince you to come with him, shit could you imagine Miguel 1 bursting into his/your shared office to see Miguel 2 basically trying to peel your clothes off while you're barely coherent if not outright unconscious

He'll beat the bastard bloody is what he'll do. Miguel had definitely developed his own obsession for you but for some random loser to be actively trying to use your pain for his own benefit, to try and BREAK CANON and kill everyone just to be selfish? He knows wanting to, but he's glad you came to him, trusting him enough to look up at him with tears in your eyes, "please, I can't take him being here, he's saying too much, he wants too much from me" because he knows it hurts, he doesn't know what to do if a carbon copy of his wife showed up begging for his love (although the more time he spends with you, the less he finds himself thinking about her and more about you)

Reader 2099 being devastated because since she lives in Miguel's dimension now but isn't FROM there she doesn't really have any documentation so she can't even try and adopt. Miguel realizing that, hey, maybe that other him of his had a point, maybe there IS a purpose for you becoming attached to Nueva York. It's not like moving on after a canon event is inherently changing one. Since he's already lost his daughter, and can't take someone else's, could he... make his own? But what if it breaks canon somehow? But the more he thinks about ìt and the more he gets closer to you the more he wants a fat chubby little baby of his own so fucking bad and he's just about ready to take a leap of faith with you and test this theory out

But yeah like, apparently the Spiderman canon events typically happen as teenagers so I've also thought of,you know, Reader being where they are in the template, a bullied high school kid with social isolation and issues at home. Miguel just minding his own business when a little birdy/spider whispers in his ear that "the new kid he's been looking after needs some help" and he goes to see and you're just sniffling and crying with a black eye because there are bullies at school. Or even worse, your black eye is from some attempt at a relationship, and you brush it off "oh no, they just lost their temper, it's MY fault they got so mad" and Miguel knows you don't have proper parental figures and he essentially adopts you. Miguel being especially weak to a female teen Reader though because, gosh, he wonders what his daughter would be like at your age, would the two of you have been friends, it's almost like helping to raise you helps heal the trauma of losing his little girl.

You have a Spanish class you struggle with and you're shyly asking Miguel, just offhandedly, "hey as a bilingual speaker do you have any tips 🥺 I'm really struggling and I feel dumb" and suddenly here's 'Tio Miguel' to help you. Any Spiders from your age group think they can make a move on you, they're mistaken and greeted by a towering glowering fatherly figure, and god forbid if he finds an older man being creepy with you, he will all but throw them into traffic

God this man has infested my brain so bad, I'm literally taking a t break from weed for like a week so I can treat myself by going to the ATSV in theaters since I've been so stressed and money finally isn't as tight and. Hhhhh I want to see a pretty movie with hot people and good music on the big screen 😩🥵❤️ by all means keep bugging me with any ideas or questions or feedback about ideas because I'm getting lost in the yandere spiderverse sauce

#yandere spiderverse #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere x reader #atsv #sinprompts #yandere stuff

[echo-rambles]

Fuck it- it's fine!

words: 1830 summary: inspired by the general vibe of bad idea right? by olivia rodrigo. tags: past established relationship, ex-boyfriend bang chan, best friend felix, suggestive content but nothing explicit note: first ever reader insert fic I've written! that's probably why it's pretty introspective and there's not much chan. I just wanted to get the feeling of writing reader insert so I hope it's not too terrible! please enjoy~

-o0o-

To be completely fair, you were the one who messaged him first. Could it be seen as slightly desperate? Maybe. But in your defense, you were pretty drunk and left unsupervised.

That doesn’t mean it’s not a complete shock to your system when you wake up the next morning and notice that he messaged you back. Which, ok. What an absolutely wild turn of events seeing as how he’s meant to be the mature adult of the relationship. (his words, thrown out midst argument) 

Once you blink away the hungover fog and wade through the low lying panic, you find it a little funny, actually. Your text, the first between the two of you in months, is embarrassing and filled with a few too many emojis- it’s the epitome of a drunk text to your ex who you might have been missing at the peak of your intoxication. 

The funny part is that he had texted back, playing into your theatrics. Maybe it’s not funny in a haha way. Maybe it’s funny in an ironic sort of way. The guy that once told you that you’re incredibly impulsive and never think things through, replying to you and not even scolding you. 

Ok, so maybe he was a little bit correct and you are impulsive, because the next thing you know your fingers are tapping away at your phone screen and you're replying to his reply as if this is something the two of you still do. There’s been a whole lot of maybes filling up your head far too early in the morning, but maybe this could be something you two do. Like, maybe it can become normal again. 

>I hope you’re drinking water to combat all the vodka you must have drank to use seven whole emojis in a row. 

<I demolished an entire water bottle when I got home last night but sadly it wasn’t enough to save me 

You’ve crawled your way out of bed and are in the middle of trying to wash up to feel human again when your phone buzzes. Thankfully you’re alone in your bathroom or else it would be embarrassing how quickly you check who the new text is from.

Before you can unlock your phone and reply to the notif saying something about ‘RIP you should’ve drank three…’ another message pops up, staring at you from the lock screen, half of the message fading off in an ellipses. 

You still have his contact saved. Somehow that’s the first thing you think, so incredibly belatedly. In your defense you thought deleting it would be stupid, seeing as how you share friends and what if Felix was in trouble and the only way anyone could reach you was through your ex-boyfriend? It’s a flimsy excuse but you clung to it at the time. 

For a while his contact was changed to HEARTBREAKER, all in caps with broken heart emojis book ending it. At some point you changed it again, hating the reminder the name would elicit every time you scrolled past it. It just made you feel bad, to be honest. Not in a guilt way, but in the way of it settling all weird in your stomach. 

So now he’s filed under a very polite and professional Bang Christopher Chan. It feels safer this way. The least amount of intimacy possible. 

Looking at it now, knowing that there’s multiple messages attached to it because you were drunk and then half asleep and he’s apparently a child who can’t just ignore you- it feels like a stupidly personal inside joke. Which is stupid. It’s his name. 

>I know this is last minute, but I was wondering if we c…

This is not something you can read by yourself while still hungover and sleepy. Absolutely not. Any sort of question he has will have to be dealt with once you’ve consumed a sufficient amount of caffeine. 

“What do you think it says?” You ask, a little bit later after your second cup of coffee. 

Felix barely even moves his head from where it’s resting against the table. He’s clearly just as hungover as you are, but you feel like you’re in the middle of making a very bad decision and you need a second opinion. You shimmy your phone under the seam where his forehead meets the wood. 

With a little pout and deep groan, he’s shifting around and waking up your phone to stare at the lock screen. The silence stretches on as he stares, blinks, and blinks some more. With a start, he’s sitting up straight, pulling the phone closer. 

“I thought you said you didn’t want to talk to him-”

“I’m aware of what I said! But that was also like, months ago, and we’re both totally over it-”

“It felt like you two went through a divorce, I don’t know if a few months is long enough-”

“I’m over it!” You proclaim, a little loudly. A little desperately. “And he is too if he’s talking to me.” 

Felix says your name, with that specific tone like he wants to say something but doesn’t know how. So, like a normal, emotionally stable adult, you completely ignore him and instead scoop up your phone. Suddenly the nerves over wondering exactly what Chan wanted to ask you have been replaced with a confidence only born from needing a distraction. 

Finally, you read the text he sent. 

>I know this is last minute, but I was wondering if we could maybe grab lunch? Or, if you’re still too hungover for lunch, maybe something later? 

Oh. Definitely the beginning of a very bad idea. 

<you paying??

>Of course I am >When was the last time you paid?

Uncalled for, but also completely fair.

<then sure count me in

It all feels way too easy. Like the last few months have just been- what, erased? Ignored? Boxed away so you can talk about it later? But hey, that’s a problem for the future version of yourself. 

“Did you just agree to spend time with him?” Felix asks, because of course he does. Are you really that predictable? 

“Maybe.”

Shaking his head, Felix sits back in his seat. “You know I love you both, but I don’t know if this is a great idea.”

“It doesn’t have to be romantic! We’re just meeting up, like friends do.” The silence is practically palpable. “We can be friends! We’re both adults- we can totally be friends.” 

Felix gives you possibly the most pitying look you’ve ever seen on his angelic little face.

-o0o-

Ok. Maybe you can’t be friends. The two of you started off as friends, definitely. You built your whole relationship off of being friends. But somewhere along the way something got all gummed up. Being together dissolved into months of barely even talking to each other. 

You were hoping that could change tonight. After getting all dressed up- because you wanted to feel pretty and you couldn’t remember the last time you got dressed up, thank you very much Minho. With his judging eyebrow and the way he clicked his tongue when you told him about the text messages and your dinner plans. Just because you were meeting up with someone who you used to give hickeys to had nothing to do with the dress you wore. 

(it absolutely did but no one had the right to know.)

It started off as just something casual. Stilted awkward conversation as you both tried to remember how to be civil around each other. It came a lot easier to Chan, as always. But you missed this. You missed being in the same space as him and hearing his voice and god Felix was right, you’re so incredibly weak. 

You wanted to try and be friends again so badly. But you were absolutely lying to yourself, big time, because the second that he smiled- that small little smile where he ducks his head and bites at his lip, oh you were gone. 

Currently you’re being pinned to the wall with his tongue down your throat and you can’t really think straight. 

Somehow you went from a casual get together to this. Attacking each other's faces like starving animals who haven’t eaten in weeks. It’d be embarrassing if it weren’t for the way Chan is so clearly feeling the exact same things you are. Your hands are running through his hair and his hands are anchored to your hips, and he still tastes the same. He still makes the same little noises when you drag your teeth along the edge of his jaw. 

It’s so fucking familiar and you already feel like you could drown in it. 

You should probably talk about this. The making out, yes, absolutely, but also the last few months and the texts and him asking to see you out of the blue. It should be talked about, right? Except what would you even say? You’ll just rehash the same things you’ve been saying. You felt ignored and he felt suffocated and you could never find a way to meet in the middle because you’re both stubborn. 

You should say something though, right? Right? 

The press of his hand against the dip of your waist, pulling you closer, has you losing any semblance of what language even is. Words? Who needs them? He’s hooking his other hand behind your knee and hiking it up, guiding you to wrap your leg around him, and really all you can think about is how you aren’t close enough.

You sneak your fingers up under the hem of his shirt, feeling the expanse of his skin, and the sound of the breathiest gasp leaving his lips settles along the curve of your spine. 

“Is this a bad idea?” You ask, once you remember how to use words. 

He stops short, as if he’s just remembered not only did he leave the oven on but he also left incredibly flammable items near it. A little shocked and worried and second guessing. Which, you’re not really sure what sort of reaction you were hoping for but you should have expected this at the least. He’s a chronic over-thinker sometimes. 

It’s fine, it’s cute even. When it’s not annoying you to no end. Sometimes you need his specific brand of cautious energy, a voice helping you recognize when something actually is a terrible idea because you didn’t realize before he pointed it out. Other times, like now, you already know the answer to your own question and you seriously do not need him to answer. It was rhetorical, thank you very much. 

“Um, well- I-” He stumbles over his sentence, breathing hard and face flushed.

“Nevermind, don’t answer that. Just kiss me.” 

Thankfully Bang Chan is very good at going along with your bad ideas. 

You can deal with whatever all of this means after. Right now, the both of you are wearing far too much clothing and you need to fix that immediately. 

#stray kids #skz #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #echo writes #I actually had a lot of fun writing this #maybe I'll make a part 2 or write something else if i get inspired! #i promise bang chan is my bias vgkjdfkfjgd

[yuraslefttoe]

hey, it's me again! I came to pester you with questions!! *there should be a scary laugh, but it sounds more like mean giggles*

(by the way, I’m thinking about sending you such long texts with questions (because I have a lot of them!!) once one or two weeks, if you don’t mind. . . . . . .you don't mind..??? (god, I hope you don’t get tired of me..!) I'm so sorry, please, I'm just very interested!! *qwq*)

ok, let's start with the sweetest part, prelude. ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT YOU REPLY SO QUICKLY, GOD, NOT PASSED A FEW HOURS!!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS SO I DID NOT EXPECT A SO SOON REPLY!!

I’ll remind you once again how much I adore your work (after all, you deserve it!!), and I’ll also say that I specifically shouldn’t talk about posts tagged with the  adm, because I’ve read your tumblr and twitter in its entirety several times, I even have a separate album in my gallery with answers that particularly interested me, there are several hundred screenshots there and I don’t regret anything! (sorry if my hyperfixation may be intimidating!!)

*=^._.^= ∫*

and now the questions!!!! 

1. my wife doesn’t have a tumblr, but her suggestion interested me and can be seen in the first two screenshots(the translation sounds like: “after the release of “red hour” I have an assumption that andrey is more... athletic than misha. either this is because of ferry’s drawing style, or he really has such wide shoulders")so now we are interested to know about the physique of your characters!! maybe some of them are thin, or vice versa, a little overweight. and what about physical training? did you have any headcanons for this??? ( by the way, when I ask about “characters” I mean not only misha and andrey, but also europe and maya, because they are also worthy of attention <зз) 

2. what about the abbreviation "dyusha" for andrey? in russian it is... not used very often, but still, it sounds very cute. so it would be interesting to know how you would feel about this? 3. I also want to hear about the names of the characters!! how did you choose them? I mean........ how did it happen that from ☺europa☺ you switched to 👹MiKhAiL👹?? (I'M SO SORRY, BUT MISHA'S FULL NAME SOUNDS SOMETHING THREATENING. MY UNCLE'S DOG HAS THE SAME NAME EHE- *ᕕ(ಥ▽ಥ)ᕗ*) 

4. and lastly, let's return to my wife for another moment. she suggested that andrey was now also in a time loop. what do you say about that? and also in enigma, she noticed that misha seemed to be addressing the second person in the lines: "and if you wanted to be anything more than just free" and "you’ve seen a hundred lies I see that all the time". is this second person a viewer? or maybe one of the previously mentioned characters??

the last photo, by the way, is one of the sketches that I found so far in my gallery! ^^ 

initially it was planned to attach two sketches, but andrey turned out TOO bad, I’m ashamed to show him. someday I'll redraw it into something normal.... maybe. but! I really like the pic with misha and the wolf(I hope this is the wolf you were talking about lol. google didn’t show me anything else, and I’ve never been to ikea myself, ehe...) 

(and I don’t want to post all this yet, because running a tumblr was certainly not part of my plans, haha)) I registered here solely to read your blog, and not to maintain my own) 

sorry again for possible illiteracy, and also for the chaotic nature of my thoughts, haha, I don’t know how to adequately express them in english.. and also, I’m really REALLY apologize that the text was too long, next time I’ll try to be shorter...

okay im gonna try and answer everything here in a coherent way so sorry if nothing makes sense

im just fine with lotes of questions :) answering asks and responding to comments is one of my favorite things ever and i brings a verry big smile to my face

on andrei: i consider him to be a skinny little gut but not exactly unathletic, and in addition i think he would have basic combat training and probably be good with firearms. misha is probably a very average bodytype, nothing special, not particularly athletic.

i do not speak russian (though ferry has recently encouraged me to learn so maybe in like four years ill be able to form a sentence) so i dont know anything about the short forms so you can do whatever you want. if you coin it and peoples tart calling him that i will not stop it from happening

i do not name my characters, i usually let me friends name them (i think that the only one i named was europa and his partner). going forward maybe ill try to make it more cohesive

the time loop idea im seeing thrown around alot is really cool and while i havent particularly wrote any of my songs about that in general i see it fitting into the loose narrative i have going on. also in enigma misha is definitely talking to andrei whenever he says the word "you" but it could also be to the listener because the entire theme of enigma is 4th wall breaking and meta shenanigans like that

that sketch is SO CUTE oh my god

#asks #adm #misha #andrei #deepest lore

[16-jarrah]

barbie movie was kinda bad to be honest.

if you're super attached and sentimental abt this movie you might not wanna read this bc i don't really pull punches with this one. but here is my first impressions rant lmao. i might come back to it when i've collected my thoughts more and let it stew a little (and maybe see it a second time just by myself at home?)

the way the movie ended was really bad and it left a sour taste in my mouth (📌), but even from just earlier in the movie i already felt like smth was off. and i mean, it's not like i wasn't excited for it even if i tried to avoid a lot of the stuff to not overhype myself (and i usually like going in blind anyway). but even as the movie started i already got the feeling of, oh this is what kind of movie it's gonna be. and for the most part it proves that initial assumption right.

and by "this" i meant like.. a really shallow preachy "feminist" tone. y'know, those kinds of movies/shows that pretend like they're going to say something meaningful about a mature topic but they end up just being shallow and mostly filled with platitudes and such. it's just kinda weird cz i expected more. but it felt like the movie was just using every character as a direct mouthpiece to the audience, and it could still work i guess if they actually had something to say. i think the movie was kind of a mess. i don't know what kind of lesson i was supposed to take away from it at the end, especially when they just start word vomiting at you. at some parts of the movie i wanted to turn my brain off but i still paid attention in case it was gonna pick itself up but like, it really didn't.

i think the rest of the movie was ok. the cinematography was enjoyable still, but the writing was just. so shallow that i couldn't bring myself to fully say i had a blast watching it. it felt like it was more interested in going through a checklist/outline of feminist things to say without being interested in elaborating any of it. it felt like they had too much they wanted to talk about that it just felt scattershot; i feel like it would've had stronger writing if they had just picked a topic to focus on and spent more time with it. they had the chance to explore something more—heck, they had this pretty diverse cast, why exactly did it still need to be focused on "stereotypical barbie" if they really wanted to explore something else? plenty of movies have been successful with an ensemble cast... it wouldn't fix their issue of splitting themselves amongst multiple things they wanted to talk about, but it could help with the focus. maybe have one barbie deal with one topic or throughline then another barbie with another topic, etc. idk. i also found it weird to make a snarky comment about how "if the movie wanted to make a point about barbie not needing to be [conventionally pretty] then they shouldn't have cast margot robbie for this" and like?? you're right lmao. you don't get to be cheeky by saying "guess we were wrong about this one :9 shrug". if they weren't interested in addressing this issue then they shouldn't have just called attention to it in the first place. it just makes it worse. feels like saying "ha! you can't criticize us for this decision because we already did it first."

i also have a problem with the thing near the end of "how about normal barbie? barbie doesn't need to be extraordinary! why can't she just be a regular person?" umm. the point of barbie wasn't to make women feel like they should be extraordinary to be accepted?? the point of barbie is that anyone can BE barbie. you ARE barbie no matter what kind of path you choose. it's kinda like spider-man in a sense that, "anyone can be under the mask." ANYONE can be barbie. i feel like the movie made a strawman out of misconstruing the original intent behind the "empowerment" of barbie. the point of multiple versions of barbie and the different playsets and shit comes from the appeal that she can be ANYTHING you want her to be. who are you fighting against, movie?? that type of misogyny where women should excel otherwise they don't matter certainly exist in the real world but like, i feel like it's a bit disingenuous to pretend it's what the barbie franchise wanted to convey as well. (i am by no means a barbie toyline history expert so i'm open to be corrected on this.)

and the whole... storyline with ken/the kens?? like i get what they're trying to do, have "the boys get a taste of their own medicine", but it's just. It's Just Weird. what did they wanna accomplish with it? i feel like this movie suffers from a shallow understanding of how sexism and misogyny and toxic masculinity actually works... like "oh teehee what if men were the ones oppressed by women instead and women were the ones oppressing men?" but they didn't do anything interesting with it, they just switched sexes and that's it. it's still the same except you just switched the men and women label now. (and the movie has a very black and white view of sex and gender. but that's another point to discuss entirely.)

what makes it worse is that the kens rise to power because they craved more appreciation from the barbies, but then they get knocked down a peg by the barbies and they "lose" like they "deserve". like, what is THIS meant to convey if we try to use it as a parallel for real world feminism, if kens = RL women and barbies = RL men?? that women shouldn't demand to be seen and appreciated more by men and that if they try to take on equal footing and power they should get pushed back down the hierarchy or something??? like WHAT??? and even if you could argue that the kens lost because of their egos/pride/toxic masculinity, it still feels off. because yes, there is a certain "masculine brand" of being too prideful but like. anyone is susceptible to getting too egotistical for their own good. idk??? the way they just handle it is so messy. it's not even like, ambiguous in the "open for interpretation, there are multiple readings of this possible that all try to say something different" kinda way. it's ambiguous in the messy, "we don't know what we wanna say" kind of way.

another thing i wanna talk abt is the teenager character. and the mom character too. i feel like they could've done more with them tbh. they hardly feel like actual characters—the mom got more than her daughter, but the daughter is so stereotypically rebellious "i hate feminine stuff" teenager. so much of this movie feels like telling instead of showing. the mom feels undervalued and depressed and she's struggling. yeah, but so what? we don't actually SEE any of that. even if you can argue that the movie tries to tackle stiff happening IRL so it doesn't need to show any of that any more, that's just bull. you still have to establish the setting in your movie's universe and you still have to do actual character work for your characters even if they're meant to represent real people. ESPECIALLY if they're meant to represent real people. like yeah, we do get some flashbacks of her daughter not appreciating her near the start, but that's it. they're just flashes. and that wasn't her only problem that she mentioned. why didn't we have the mom try to pitch ideas to the executives early on, have that be her introduction scene? have the executives belittle her ideas bc they're misogynistic chauvinist asses? like yeah, from context clues of the whole boardroom being men we can see the irony there and we can tell they don't value women enough to give them positions that high up the ladder. but still, implying the lack of something is not as good as actually demonstrating the lack of something. i feel like it wouldn't have been that hard to include at least one scene of the mom pitching her ideas, and then cut to her scribbling sadly on the desk like she was when she was introduced cz they didn't listen to her.

the sentiment of "they hardly feel like actual characters" extends to the rest of the cast, too. like, i wouldn't expect something substantial and be disappointed if they weren't marketing themselves like "all barbies are important :) this is an ensemble movie :)" like no... not really. none of the other characters matter that much and they didn't get a lot of actual distinguishing features aside from their actual job titles. which just feels reductive lmao. maybe that's the point. maybe they're all just meant to be bit characters. but it just adds to the shallowness of the movie i feel like. just bc the point is they're bit characters doesn't give it a free pass for not going anywhere w any of them. i saw someone say they felt like all the other barbies and kens were mostly just there as set dressing and you know what? that's undeniably true. which AGAIN i maybe wouldn't have as much of a problem with if it weren't for how they marketed this movie.

the previous paragraph also ties into what i mentioned earlier abt the quip they had abt casting margot robbie (and by extension, ryan gosling) as the lead(s). like... why did the lead HAVE to be the "stereotypical barbie"? why did the white, blonde, presumably cishet* barbie (and ken) HAVE to be the leads? hell, the mom and daughter characters are women of color and they don't even do anything with them (aside from some jokes abt how the white dad sucks and is very inconsequential?). i'm just saying... it feels like the diversity casting (not just when it comes to being people of color but also in other areas, like having a barbie in a wheelchair and a pregnant "barbie" (even though she's not barbie) and whatnot) of the other barbies and kens was just that. Token Diversity. fodder for The Typical White Leads. idk. i'll say this again but if they didn't advertise themselves the way they did with all those barbie and ken posters making it sound like they were actually gonna give a shit about any of the other colorful cast of characters then maybe i wouldn't be this harsh with them. this didn't feel like an ensemble movie to me at all.

*(bc i don't think this movie was made with any genuine queer intentions behind it lmao. and ik people latch onto the aroace "coding" of the characters and like. if you're aroace and you like it then power to you. but i think this is more of a "technicality"/"by semantics" type of """coding""" so i honestly don't think it counts, speaking as someone who's some flavour of aroace)

idk i feel like I'M word vomiting now too. maybe i'm picking on this movie too much. but tbh it's just. eh. it just feels shallow. it's a shallow nothing movie tbh. it just feels like a movie filled with quips without any interest in exploring any of the topics they bring up. i wanna list specific examples but tbh it's hard to remember them because of just how overloaded it is, like they just keep shooting talking points at you but there's no meat to any of them. i wouldn't be this harsh on this movie if it didn't hype itself up so much. like, i WANTED to like it coming it. i WAS excited for it ever since it was announced, even though i wasn't a super fan and wasn't buzzing about it as much as most people were online. because it had a lot of potential behind it, but it ended up just. being a mess.

📌 i think it's funny that the ending (as in the last scene of the movie) left most people confused, but the most interesting thing abt it is the takeaway i got from my cis mlm cousin where he's like, "oh barbie chose to be a mother at the end and she's pregnant and that's why she ended up at the gynecologist". like. I Guess??? that can be your take??? but it's a weird scene to end your movie on.

like idk what i'm supposed to feel about it. she's a real human now because she has genitalia?? the genitalia was the last crowning step for her to achieve the "human" status? that's kind of reductive. she's a real woman now because she has a vagina?? that's just straight up transphobic. like. what am i supposed to get as my takeaway here with the last scene??

#guys i tried REALLY HARD to like this movie while i was watching it but i haven't felt this disappointed at a movie in a long while #and i didn't even come in with any expectations really. i just expected it to be ABOUT something and be insightful in some way bc of how #it marketed itself. hashtag feminism #op #barbie movie spoilers #barbie 2023 spoilers #barbieposting

[morwap]

Hi Morgan !!!

I saw that requests were open and decided to shoot my shot !! Is there any way I could request a female reader x Eddie fanfic or head cannons ?? Maybe the reader can be a friend of his who has similar traits as his and is overall very affectionate and kind? And we could get some jealous!eddie too !!

Remember that you have no pressure from me whatsoever about what you decide to write from my request, and know that I’ll be grateful receiving anything at all !! I understand that you might be busy or might not like my request, and that’s 100% ok as well ! I don’t want you doing anything your not comfortable doing :) 💕

And one last thing , you are majorly , seriously talented dude. Like as an author myself , I aspire to be as good as you one day and seeing you on my dashboard makes my day 100% better . Keep doing what you do !

-H

you are so sweet and deserve the world! i’m sorry this took forever i’ve been trying to write for the past two days and the world was just not wanting me to write.

AHSH IM LITERALLY CRYING HEARING THAT MAKES THE LITTLE ME THAT STARTED WRITING ON WATTPAD LITERALLY SO PROUD OF ME TODAY. IM SO GRATEFUL THAT YOU DECIDED TO SEND SOMETHING IN AND BE SO SWEET, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD! you should’ve sent it without anon so i could follow you!

possessive and jealous!eddie, talk of drugs

eddie never thought of himself as possessive or jealous until you walked into his life, he was just fine with his other friends (mainly the hellfire club) having other friends and hanging out with them without him, but with you it was different.

eddie wanted to be around you all the time, to be the one person you never got sick of, and even though he wouldn’t actually do it or admit it but he felt like he wanted to be the only person in your life and keep you away from everyone.

eddie was completely infatuated with you once you two met, getting jealous when robin would come talk to you in the library just because she hadn’t seen you in a while and he’d pout and wish she’d go away just until he could find something to occupy his mind so he wouldn’t keep thinking about you while you weren’t paying attention to him or were busy with someone else. always turning to dnd or music to take his mind off you since that seems to be the only thing that worked.

when eddie’s thoughts started to get to him about you forgetting he was even there and that you’d rather hang out with them, you’d bring your attention back to him and make him feel loved and that you needed and wanted him there and he swore you could read minds since it was always when he’d start really overthinking. when it was when he really needed it.

you didnt even have to do it verbally, it comforted him that he find you taking comfort in playing with the rips on his jeans or leaning onto him just make sure that he know that you know he’s still there and he’d respond with leaning back onto you.

eddie had never found himself more attached to someone, loving that you were affectionate since he never got that a lot. just as eddie thought you couldn’t possibly get any better, you started asking about dnd and the hellfire club which made eddie beyond happy and he started inviting you to every campaign.

learning more and more about you and was hesitant when you asked to buy some weed off him, but when you told him that you used to get it off someone else he told you to stop going to them and come to him, and only him. smoking in his van now became something he looked forward to since it would be just you and him.

him showing you different bands and songs he liked while the both of you shared a joint and sometimes if he wasn’t feeling shy he’d bring you inside his trailer and play some songs for you on his guitar which led to you asking him if he could teach you how to play.

#H💕 #jealous!eddie munson #eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things eddie #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things eddie munson #eddie munson x you

[shiftingparadise]

HI LOVE ok this might be a long detailed request so im sry i thought of this while trying to go to sleep to dream good😭🙏 OK jujutsu staff geto (kinda like nanami but as hes not a teacher like gojo) & sorcerer gn!reader. reader's curse technique is emotion/memory manipulation, geto & reader mutually have unspoken love/adoration for e.o but are aware of it. setting: somber night at the academy & reader sitting on the steps contemplating life & inevitable dying. geto finds them outside & joins to keep company making some small talk & they asks him why hes always so nice to them & then he starts actually starts listing qualities he likes abt reader. reader then asks geto if they can kiss him🫣 ofc he says yes & this is when reader uses their cursed technique on him & wipes out his emotions & memories attached to reader cuz the next day reader goes on a dangerous mission that can ultimately take their life & theyre also rly tired of fighting, also the reason y/n wipes his memories is cuz theyre aware of his feelings but want him to move on w/o grieving their loss. OK SAD ENDING: geto attends the funeral w/ no emotion he just thinks y/n was as acquaintance so it looked as if he just casually went to pay condolences & everyone was like ??? what happened yall were so close & he denies that cuz he doesnt rmbr until sm1 tells him reader mightve used their technique on him to avoid him from not being able to move on & he later regains his memory of them. HAPPY ENDING: reader is just heavily injured & while geto visits the infirmary to see shoko he sees y/n & their technique wheres off & he rmbrs reader using their technique on him & kinda gets upset but ends happy cuz he didnt lose them. RLY SRY IF THIS WAS A LONG REQUEST i was ranting to my friend abt it when i woke up & decided u'd be perfect to ask to write😭🫶

I LOVE LONG REQUESTS, I REALLY DO, SO THANK YOU 🤍 I chpse the happy ending, i don't know why, I felt like Geto deserved this :') anyway, I hope you like it 🥺🤍

Hope everyone's doing fine, enjoy reading!🤍✨

Word count: 2061

‘You’re not coming?’, Gojo fake-pouted as he stopped in front of you, preventing you from entering your room, ‘Are you sick? Lovesick maybe?’. 

‘Get out of my way, Satoru’, you tried pushing him to the side, but he didn’t move a single muscle. ‘Geto isn’t coming, that’s why you’re not going, right?’. 

God, you wanted to punch that smirk right off his face. 

‘I’m not going because I’m tired’. ‘Tired? You always come to karaoke night’. ‘Just get out of my way, Satoru. Please, I can’t take this today’. ‘Huh?’, he bowed down so his nose brushed against yours, his thumb pressed against his bottom lip, ‘What’s wrong? Normally, you would’ve slapped me by now’. 

Ah, personal space. A term Gojo Satoru never heard of. 

‘Get out of my face’, you softly smacked his cheek while pushing him away, ‘I’m fine. I just need some rest’. ‘Hey, if it’s about Geto-‘. 

You swiftly grabbed his hand while channeling your cursed energy to your fingertips. 

‘Nope, not this time’, he quickly pulled away, ‘You tried that trick on me one too many times. I’m not interested in flashing memories of all the embarrassing moments in my life, so I’ll just leave you’. 

‘Idiot’, you watched as he walked away, his hands neatly tucked inside his pockets. ‘If you weren’t such an annoying brat, I wouldn’t have to use my cursed technique on you’. 

--- 

‘Can’t sleep’, you sighed as you pressed the palms of your hands to your tired eyes. A useless effort to rub the burning sensation away. 

You were tired, exhausted even. Your head was a mess. Over the past few weeks, you’d started to fall for Geto. There was something inside you that clicked when you got to know him. His smile, the way he always made sure you were doing okay, that you were safe… Did you love him? Were you even allowed to love him? As a sorcerer, your life was probably going to be short. ‘If I’m going to die, I don’t want to have any regrets’, you sat up straight, legs swinging over the edge of your bed, ‘I can’t fall in love. I won’t die a peaceful death if I have the feeling I’m leaving someone behind…’. 

--- 

‘Peaceful’, you closed your eyes as you felt the night's cold air. ‘And beautiful’, a sad smile on your face as you watched the moon. 

It was brighter than usual, with a more yellow tone in it as well. A perfect setting to drown in your thoughts.

 ‘Will I miss this? The moon? The smell of a summer night?’, a sad feeling rushed over you. ‘I’m going to die, right? The old man’s sending me on this mission to die’. 

‘There’s my monkey’, a soft voice came from behind you. ‘Hm’, you sighed as you pressed your legs closer to your chest. ‘Why are you sitting on these stairs?’, Geto sat down beside you, a smile on his face. ‘Can’t sleep’, you turned your face away from him. He couldn’t see you like this, not now. ‘Here’, a kind touch on your shoulder as he held out the hot beverage for you to take.

‘W-what’s this?’.

‘Tea. Chamomile to be exact. I read somewhere that it’s good for when you can’t sleep’. 

‘You knew I was sitting here?’. ‘Of course’, he smiled at the sky, ‘I heard you pacing around in your room, so I wanted to bring it to you there… but when I noticed you weren’t, I knew you’d be sitting here’. 

Of course, he knew you were sitting here.  Geto knows you like the back of his hand.

‘Why are you always so nice to me?’, you carefully grabbed the cup with both of your hands. ‘Why?’, still a smile on his face as he studied your face. 

You looked beautiful to him. You always did, but this was one of the few times you let your guard down, and the vulnerable look in your eyes suited you. 

‘Well’, he continued when he noticed you weren’t going to answer, ‘I like the way you care about people, even when they hurt you. I like the way you press your lips together when you’re thinking about improving your cursed technique. I like the way you know how I feel without me saying it, I like the way you care for me even when I’m being an asshole… Or the way you can get under Satoru’s skin’. 

He chuckled before continuing, his eyes now shifting to your hands that were neatly wrapped around the cup. 

‘But most of all, I like the way you look at me. As if I’m a pleasant person to be around’. 

‘Do you like me?’, you clenched your jaw. Somehow, the cold breeze blew every grain of hesitation out of your mind. 

You slowly looked at the man who was sitting next to you. Smiling? Why was he smiling? 

‘You know how I feel about you. I’m sure your cursed technique –‘, ‘You know I don’t use it for stuff like that’. 

But it was tempting though. If you wanted, you could decipher every feeling a person had ever felt for you. Hate, disgust, happiness, anger, love, … 

‘Here’, he held out his hand, his eyes focused on yours, ‘Just once wouldn’t hurt’. ‘N-no’, you turned your head to the side, ‘I won’t use it like that’. 

‘Hm?’, you widened your eyes as you could feel his hand gently holding yours. ‘I can't tell you how I feel about you, it feels like there aren’t any words to describe it’.

You frowned at his gesture, but if he told you he didn’t mind… Maybe just this one time… 

‘Are you sure?’. ‘Positive’, a swift pat on your hand. ‘Fine’, you could feel your cheeks redden at his touch, ‘Sit still’. 

It took a moment for you to break through his energy, for him to allow yours to dance with his. Because that’s what it was. A dance. Sometimes you stepped on a toe, opening up memories people didn’t want you to see, but this wasn’t anything like this. This was a symphony. You could see the sun rise in the morning, its warm light shining on beautiful, white flowers. You could hear the calm sound of a small river from behind you, the sweet scent of a warm apple pie… Was this what he felt for you? Were you his safe heaven? His peace? 

‘Wh-why are you crying?’, his eyes widened, his thumb quickly wiping the tears from under your eyes. 

‘C-can I kiss you?’, you avoided looking into his eyes. 

This was going to hurt, but you had to do this. What if you died? It would break his heart, it would be the end of the Geto everyone knew. He would never feel happiness again. The sun would turn into the moon, the green and colorful flowers would be dead and dry… The river would be dried up… He would never feel anything like this again. But if you did this, if you just managed to go through with this… Someone else will become his peace, someone who’ll stay. 

He didn’t respond, but the way his hand cupped your cheek while his forehead rested against yours gave you the approval you needed.

It was a delicate and painful kiss. For a moment, just the tiniest second, you doubted about whether you were going to go through with it. Because you felt the same. He was your ocean. So calm and serene. 

‘I love you’, a soft whisper before you embedded his thoughts with your cursed energy. Every memory, every look, every smile… Gone. He’d remember your name and that you were a sorcerer, but that’s it. 

---

‘What?’, Geto sighed while he opened his door, only to see his friend out of breath. ‘I-it’s Y/N, t-they’re in the infirmary’. ‘Okay?’, Geto frowned, ‘What’s it to me?’. ‘Huh?’, Gojo tilted his head, ‘Y/N… They’re heavily inju-‘. ‘So? Didn’t know them’. ‘B-but you always-‘. ‘Satoru’, Geto annoyedly rolled his eyes, ‘How many times should I tell you, I barely knew them?’. ‘B-but-‘, ‘I’m not coming to the infirmary with you’. ‘But you two were always together?’. ‘You’re crazy’, Geto sighed as he closed his door, leaving Gojo behind with a confused expression.

---

‘Go see them’, Gojo leaned next to the vending machines. 

‘No’. 

‘You cared for them’. 

‘I don’t know them, Satoru’. 

‘So you’re telling me- ’. 

‘Shut up Satoru’, Geto smirked, ‘You’re annoying me’. ‘Fine’, Gojo raised both of his hands in the air, ‘Anyway… Shoko wants to see you’. 

Geto watched as his friend walked away, two hands in his pockets. 

‘Tch, if this is a trick, I’ll kill you’. ‘Yeah yeah, we both know I’m stronger’’, Gojo smirked as he looked over his shoulder. 

--- 

‘Shoko?’, Geto lazily opened the door, his eyes gliding over the room, ‘That white-haired idiot told me-‘. 

What’s that sound? Birds? A river? 

‘Geto?’, Shoko frowned as she waved in front of his face, ‘Helloooo’. ‘O-oh’, Geto forced himself to look away from you. ‘Where were you? Why didn’t you come sooner?’. ‘S-sooner?’, his eyes unwillingly glided back towards your body. ‘Weren’t you two a thing?’. ‘A thing?’.

Why? Why does everyone think that he cared about you when he never even talked to you? 

‘It’s fine, everyone knew. They’re sleeping so try to stay quiet’, she sighed while scribbling something on a piece of paper, ‘Anyway, I’ll be going. Gojo called and said he was feeling sick. That idiot probably ate too much mochi again’. 

‘Or he wanted to make sure I had some time alone with them’, Geto stared at the ceiling. 

One step at a time, Geto slowly moved closer to you. For some reason, his heart started beating faster, images of beautiful scenery flashing before his eyes. 

‘S-shoko?’, you tiredly, opened one eye when you heard someone. 

‘W-what?’, Geto tried to keep his balance when he heard your raspy voice. The symphony in his head amplified while the scenery slowly was replaced by memories. Memories of you smiling, softly holding his hand, holding him at times when felt nothing else but despair. He didn’t just know you, he loved you, and you loved him too.

‘How could you? How could you do this to me?’. 

His voice sounded fragile, hurt even. 

You pressed your lips together, slowly turning your head away from him. You weren’t going to deal with this. 

‘I trusted you. I let you inside my head to see what I feel for you, and you-‘. 

Tears? Was he seriously crying? 

‘Why? Why did you do it? Don’t you feel the same?’. 

I do. 

‘Tired’, your eyes were fixated on the wall next to you, ‘Want to sleep’. 

‘Tch’, Geto clenched his jaw at your cold behavior, ‘What if you died? You would’ve just buried all our memories with you’. 

‘I would’ve died peacefully, and you would’ve moved on with your life-‘. ‘My life?’, he interrupted you, ‘You’re right, my life. You don’t get to decide what I remember and what I don’t’. 

It was almost suffocating, the tension in the room. 

‘I just wanted you to be happy’, a lump in your throat. 

He couldn’t be happy, not without you. Ever since you erased his memories, he felt empty. 

‘How could I be happy without my little monkey?’, a warm whisper as he carefully laid down next to you. 

He didn’t care that the bed was too small. He didn’t need much room anyway. 

‘You’re my happiness, you know that because you saw, right? You saw what you are to me’. 

He carefully pulled your broken body closer to his, ignoring your sweet whimpering sounds. 

‘You’re my peace’, he nestles his head in the space between your shoulder and neck, ‘My little monkey’. 

‘I-I’m sorry, I just didn’t want you to be sad if I died’, you whimpered as you wiped the tears from your cheeks. 

‘I’m just happy you’re alive-‘ 

‘See?’, Satoru’s voice rang through the room, ‘Told you they used their cursed technique, now hand it over’. ‘Fine’, Shoko responded while you heard her grabbing some money. 

‘If you don’t leave now, then you’re the next person to lay in this bed-‘, ‘Don’t worry’, he interrupted your threat, I'll leave you lovebirds alone’. 

#getou suguru x you #geto x y/n #geto x reader #geto x you #geto headcanons #geto jjk #jujustu kaisen #getou suguru fluff #jujutsu kaisen suguru #sugurugeto #suguru x reader #suguru getou #getou x you #getou x reader #getou x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk imagines #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x gn!reader #jujutsu kaisen x gender neutral reader #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #geto suguru x y/n

[ilovecupcakesandtea]

Chapter 1. Chapter 7

The conversation with his manager had gone better than Steve expected. They had recently lost their overnight stock person and he couldn’t help but think how perfect that would be. Now that his manager had agreed to let him take the spot he could be home with Nova while Eddie was at work, if Eddie would agree to that of course. Since they had moved in, Eddie had continued to take Nova to Aimee’s before work and Steve would pick her up on days he got off work before Eddie. He had been trying to think of a way to be home during the day so Eddie didn’t have to drive all the way to the other side of town to drop Nova off and then back into town to work. His manager hadn’t been excited about the idea, Steve had a way with getting annoyed customers to calm down, but he’d understood when Steve explained.

Now he had to find a way to bring it up with Eddie. It probably would have been best to talk to him before but he thought Eddie might be more likely to accept his offer this way. There’d be the excuse of saving gas too of course. Steve didn’t have to tell him how attached he’d grown to Nova. He knew she wasn’t technically his responsibility but his heart didn’t seem to get the memo. Sure he’d have to get used to a new sleep schedule that involved sleeping a little in the morning and a little again at night, just hoping it all added up to a decent eight hours, but he could make it work. His new shift would have him going in at ten and off by four in the morning. 

Eddie would be home any minute now so Steve brought their dinner to table and got Nova set up in her high chair. Should he wait until after dinner to talk to him? What if he lost the courage during dinner when he decided to wait until after? There wasn’t any more time to figure it out when he heard the front door open.

“Princess I’m home!!” Eddie shouted as he walked through the door. “And there is my bravest knight, have you been looking after the princess this afternoon?” he asked Nova as he picked her up blowing raspberries on her stomach whilst she giggled. 

"Really?" Steve asked, trying to hide the fondness in his voice with an eye roll. "How was your day?" 

“Yes really, look at how much she’s giggling. Are you going to ruin that for her?” Eddie smirked. “Yeah not been too bad, Susan came in, for the third time this week, apparently the car is still making the weird noise” 

"Of course she didn't get the hint." Steve mumbled as he started putting the pasta on plates for each of them. "Anyway, I uh, I've got something to talk to you about."

“Hit me with it” Eddie said as he grabbed a couple of sodas from the fridge. 

"So I got switched to stocking overnight at work."

“Oh, how come? They short on nights?” Eddie queeried.

"No. I actually asked for it."

“Right, why’s that?” 

"So um, I kinda thought that maybe it would be helpful. I could watch Nova while you were at work so you don't have to drive all the way to Aimee's and back towards work. Thought it might make things easier and save you some gas." Steve said, pushing his pasta around his plate and staring down at it. He couldn't look at Eddie, didn't want to see the look on his face if he thought Steve was overstepping.

“Steve, you really didn't have to do that, I’m making it work, it means a lot that you’ve done it though. Thank you so much” Eddie replied with a smile. 

"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to."

“Well, thank you again. So what hours will you be working?” Eddie asked. 

"Ten to four." 

“Ok, that's great” 

"I finish this week on my current schedule and then switch next week."

“I’ll have a word at work as well, see if I can start doing the slightly later shift giving you a chance to sleep before you’re left with madam, I’ll make sure she’s changed, dressed for the day and fed before I leave so she’ll settle back down and give you longer.” Eddie said. 

"You don't have to do that. I knew what my sleep schedule would be like when I asked to switch. It's fine really. I don't mind. I just want to help and she's good company."

“It’s only fair after how much you’ve done for us both and continue to do.” 

"It's no big deal, really. It's nice to have some life in this house for a change." Steve replied. What he really wanted to say was that he'd do anything for Eddie and Nova. They didn't even have to ask. If it would make their lives easier or better in any way then Steve wouldn't hesitate to do it. That wasn't something he could say out loud though. He had already been worried about overstepping and continued to worry about the possibility of Eddie finding out his real feelings and leaving. 

They finished eating the pasta and garlic bread and then Eddie gave Nova her last bottle whilst her bath ran. 40 minutes, a giggly bathtime and silly voices for a story later and Nova was sound asleep in her crib Eddie headed back downstairs, baby monitor screen in hand. 

“Fancy a movie before we sleep?” Eddie asked as he walked into the kitchen finding Steve cleaning up from their evening meal. 

“Sure, we could watch the second Lord of the Rings film if you want? The Two Towers right?” Steve answered, finishing up with the dishes and drying his hands off. 

“Correct, I'll make a nerd of you yet Harrington” Eddie laughed. 

“Yeah yeah whatever” Steve grumbled “Go set up whilst I put these away yeah?" 

They settled down on the couch and Eddie started the film. Soon enough Eddie's eyes started to get very heavy. 

He woke up sometime later to the title screen playing over and over and soft breathing into his neck. Had he fallen asleep with Nova on him? Surely there was no way he would, or that Steve would leave her there. No no, he remembered getting her ready for bed, making up a story and setting her down. That meant that the breath and soft snores could only be from one person. Steve. Oh. Fuck, how had this happened? He opened his eyes and looked down. He was lying on his back on the couch, Steve was lying half on his side and half over Eddie he had ended up with his face smooshed into Eddies neck. Shit. This was not good. He had to move slowly but before Steve woke up to find that this had happened. How would he react if he woke up to find them cuddled up? Eddie didn’t have enough money to move out just yet. He’d hoped he’d have a little more time before they had to move out, he wanted to find somewhere else, perfect for him and Nova. 

He slowly moved himself from under Steve and made sure that Steve looked comfy on the couch before laying a blanket over him and then heading up to bed himself. As he lay there after he wondered if Steve would remember in the morning. Had he already ruined what he and Nova had? But then again Eddie didn't remember Steve falling asleep and he certainly didn't remember them cuddling up. 

Had it really been that long since he’d been on a date that he took comfort wherever he could find it? He fell into a restless sleep. 

When he woke again he did what he did every morning upon waking, he looked over at Nova’s monitor and made sure she was ok. What he saw this morning almost killed him off right there. He watched as Steve said good morning to Nova and picked her up giving her a big hug, she couldn't have been crying, Eddie never slept through her actually crying, no, this was Steve just going and making sure she was ok. Eddie sat up and watched as Steve got her diaper changed and set her down on the floor, sitting with her and playing with her toys. Eddie reached over and grabbed his phone, turning all his dating profiles back on before he could think twice, he figured it was either that or getting on his knees for Steve Harrington, and at this point he wasn't sure he would propose to him or blow him. Both, he would probably end up doing both. Having a crush on a straight guy never ended well. 

“Steve, can I talk to you about something?” Eddie asked, walking into the living room a few evenings later. 

"Sure, what's up?"

“So, I’ve been talking to someone called Taylor for a handful of days and I was wondering if you could watch Nova a couple hours extra one day next week so we can grab a drink after work?” 

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure. That's fine." Steve answered half-heartedly.

“Thanks man, I owe you one” Eddie sighed, relieved. “Fancy Chinese takeout?” 

"Sounds good to me."

They both ate their food and then Eddie got Nova ready for bed, she giggled her way through her bath and fell asleep before the princess had met the dragon in his story. The whole time he got her ready he couldn't help but think about how quiet Steve had been after Eddie had mentioned the date. Had he really stepped over the line asking for extra babysitting? 

Steve sat rocking Nova in silence. It probably would have helped if he'd attempted to hum or sing but he couldn't really get his mind to do anything but think about Eddie. How Eddie was out on a date with someone else right now, probably having a great time and that should be Steve. Had he done something wrong to push Eddie away from him and towards other people? He wanted Eddie to be happy even if it was with someone else but damn it if it wasn't going to hurt like hell. Maybe Steve wasn't really what Eddie or Nova needed in the end, they'd be happier somewhere else. He could at least pretend that he was enough and try to enjoy their presence while they were still here. 

As Steve put Nova in her crib, he heard the front door open and close. 

"Hey, how'd it go?" Steve asked once he made it downstairs to Eddie. 

“Yeah it went ok, we got on well. Kind of left it open if we’ll see each other again, but yeah. I think it went well.” Eddie said on the friday evening when he got home after his date. 

He hadn’t lied, the date had gone well, but Taylor had already expressed an interest in seeing him again but Eddie had said that he would need to sort child care first and would message them. Truthfully he liked them, they were good looking and they both got on well, but something wasn't quite right. He already felt as though they would be second best to Steve and that wasn't fair on them.

#eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #steddie #steddie dads #steddie fan fic #steddie fanfiction #steddie fanfic

[atinysunbaby]

Meant to be | Choi San🖤

Warnings : Cursing, violence

Word counts : 3.1 k

Previous 《 Chapter 3

Masterlist

Chapter 4

Present

Is it what it feels like to be dead? It's not like what I expected. I thought it would be a relief, but I just feel like crap. I still can feel pain apparently, and emptiness. There's also noises, voices to be more exact. Ghosts?

As time go by, I slowly gain consciousness. I'm not dead after all. But where the hell am I?? The voices are a bit clearer, now that my mind is all there. I don't recognize any of them. They're men, that's the only thing I can be sure of.

Since I have no idea where I am right now, I gotta find a weapon to protect myself, in case they'd want to hurt me. I mean, what if it's James and some friends. What if he found me after all?

I can't take any risks anymore, and if any son of a bitch makes a wrong move, I'll end them. There's a lamp next to the bed I'm on, that's my protection. It's gonna have to do.

I could also escape through the window, but what if those guys really helped me. I should at least make sure of their true intentions.

On the tip of my toes, I make my way to the door. I listen through it, and when I'm sure it's safe I open it. Right when I do so, the conversation the strangers were having, stops abruptly. I see stairs, I'm a hundred percent certain that the voices were coming from there. It's almost impossible that they heard me. Right?

Footsteps are heard downstairs. My breath hitches. I'm about to hide myself back in the room, when a voice calls my name. "Y/N?"

I don't recognize that one either, but still I'm curious and advance to the staircase. I try to peak without them seeing me, but of course fail. "I can see you. I know you're there, and you don't need to be afraid of me."

"Who are you? And how do you know my name??" I desperately need answers now. I know that there's at least 3 men inside, and maybe there could be more. My only way of defense is a lamp and I'm weak, more then usual since I've had a rough couple of weeks. "You can trust me, I promise. San is a friend of mine."

My eyes enlarge. Maybe it's a trap. Omg!! What if James killed San, and now he's trying to get me to go down to murder me too!?

"I called him, he's gonna arrive soon. You can stay upstairs until he's here if you prefer?" He tries to reassure me. I made up my mind. I'll go down now, and keep the lamp. "Ok. But I have a weapon, don't try anything suspicious!"

Causciously, I walk down the stairs. I can see him now, he's young, but he looks really intimidating. Maybe it's not to late to go back up.

"Hi! My name's Hongjoong. It's nice to meet you." He tells me with enthusiasm. Not as scary as before, but maybe he's acting. I'm staying on my guards until San is here.

Several minutes later

I'm standing in the kitchen, as far as I can from them. They're all sitting at the table, sometimes glancing at me. Turns out, there were more then 3 of them. 7 in total, not counting San.

They told me their names, surprisingly I memorised them.

The blond that looks like a prince, Seonghwa

Then there's Hongjoong, with dark blue hair. He scares me a little, even though he ain't the tallest.

Yunho, he's tall and has brown hair. He also looks like a large puppy.

The cutest one, Yeosang. He has light brown fluffy hair and he's shy.

Mingi, has dark brown hair. Looked intimidating at first, but he smiled at me and I came to the conclusion that he isn't.

And Wooyoung, long hair attached in a mini ponytail. Really handsome, seems the most worried about San's arrival.

Jongho, the youngest. Quite cold, but I don't think it's his real personality.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

My body reacts instantly. I become stiff, squizing the wooden spoon in my hand. Hongjoong gave it to me to replace the lamp. He said if I felt in danger, I could use it.

They all turn to me, they notice how uncomfortable I look. "It's just San sweetheart, you're safe." Seonghwa comforts me. I force a smile, grateful for their help.

Wooyoung gets up and run to the door. We hear it open, right when it does my heart starts to beat faster. That same feeling is back, my body suddenly relax. I'm impatient, wanting to see him desperately.

San

The same moment my eyes lay on him, my body is hurrying to his. I jump in his arms, crying the hardest I ever did. "Shhhh~ I'm here love, I'll protect you." He holds me tightly, whispering calming things in my ears.

The group of boys sat at the table, looking at each other, understanding without having to talk.

After a matter of minutes, I feel calmer already. My tears stop running out of my eyes. My trembling body is now only slightly shivering.

San runs his hand soothingly on my back. While I was breaking down, he took the opportunity to place himself on the couch.

I lift my head from his shoulder, looking into his eyes. He smiles affectionately, brushing strands of hair out of my face.

"San.. Why am I feeling like this about you? What does it mean I don't understand?" I ask with a lost expression. "It's like I can finaly breathe when you're with me. My heart feels like it's gonna burst, It never happened to me before. It's almost too much."

San's POV

I have to tell her. If not now, then soon. Before, I have to talk to Hongjoong though. He's our alpha, we often have to ask before doing something.

Y/N fell asleep on me. I told her we would talk after she gets some rest. At first she didn't want to, but agreed when I told her we'd cuddle.

Y/N and me are mates. Since she's human though, it's not the same as the others. Our bond is strong, but if she would be a werewolf it would be complete. I can't mark her, can't mate with her nor be close to her the night of a full moon.

It's too dangerous, her body wouldn't be able to take it. It would lead to her death. I won't let that happen, so I'll have to be careful. Sometimes our impulses are really strong, most of the time the tentation's too strong.

Y/N's POV

I stretch my body after waking from my nap. I quickly realise I didn't have any nightmare. It's also the first time in weeks that I have a bit of energy. It feels great, I'm at ease. San makes me feel safe. I smile like an idiot just thinking about him.

Quickly, I realise his presence. His nose is pressed against my neck. His lips are parted, I can feel his breath hitting my skin. He's cuddling me, holding me tightly in his arms, as if he's scared to let go. My face heats up immediately, my heartbeat quickening. Then, I'm hit with this feeling again. It's overwhelming, almost too much. Butterflies in my stomach, heart fluttering, goosebumps everywhere, my body tingling. I love his warmth and the attention he gives me, the skinship too. Not forgetting he makes me forget about every bad things in my life, he makes me feel safe and complete.

I bring my hand to his face. Cautiously, I trace is features with my fingers trying not to wake him up. I take some time to admire him, wanting to memorize every little details. I smile unconsciously and bring my lips to his nose softly. The feeling makes is nose twitch cutely. The sound of my giggles is what wakes him fully.

At any other time he would of been quite annoyed, but the sound of my voice makes him instantly relax. A smile appears on his beautiful face and he hugs me tighter. "Morning~"

"Good morning~ It's definitely the best way to wake up. I wish it'll be like that all the time!" His words make my face heat up. He notices my flustered state and chuckles. "Baby are you shyy~?"

I hide my face and nod my head, San laughs amused. He takes my hands in his and kisses my nose sweetly. Warmth, envelopes the both a of us. We sigh contentedly. "I need to tel-"

The sound of knocking at the door interrupts San. The expression on his face quickly change to a confused one. "Nobody comes here.. They aren't supposed to know anyone lives in this house.."

The other boys all have the same look of confusion. They don't answer at the door, instead wait for the stranger to leave. We all think they left, only to hear the hits against the door again, but louder and harder. Some of the guys seem scared now and the rest suspicious. Hongjoong puts his finger in front of his lips to signal everyone not to make a noise. He then walks to the front door carefully.

Yeosang clings to Wooyoung, hiding behind him. Seonghwa is worried and holds Jongho's hand reassuringly. Yunho and Mingi stand next to each other, ready to help if needed. San takes my hand and we both stand from the couch. His body his tense and he puts himself between me and the door. I, am still confused as to why they all look so on edge. I am too, but I don't know the reason of their behaviour.

Hongjoong look into the peephole and frown. He turns to us and shakes is head sighing. "It's only a women.."

He opens the door and answer politely. "Hello! How can I help you?"

"I'm searching for my niece! Please if you saw her maybe you could help me- She ran into the woods, she was terrified and-" My eyes enlarge and my breath gets caught in my throat. She stops talking when I peek from behind San. Instantly she recognizes me and I don't waste a second to run into her arms. We both start crying in each other's arms. "I t-though you- d-died!?"

She takes my face in her hands and wipe my tears with her thumbs. Then she hugs me again while rubbing my back. "I know, I know.."

After we both calmed down the boys took us to the kitchen. They're confused and wish to respect us, but refuse to leave me alone with her. Since they don't know her. Especially San, disagreed to leave me without protection. I don't need it though, my aunt would never hurt me.

"I though he killed you? I heard a gunshot and the-" She takes my hand in hers and smile sadly. "I know you were scared and you were right to be. I know what he did to y-you-"

She starts crying and my heart skips a beat. No.. It's not what I think it is.. Is it? My body starts shaking slightly and I swallow the lump in my throat. "W-what do you mean..?"

My eyes meet hers and she frowns. Then she averts her gaze nervously. "James.."

His name makes my body tense, but San softly places his hand on my shoulder. I let myself calm down before motionning to Kath that she can keep talking. "Yesterday, we had an argument about you. He wanted you to leave and when I disagreed, he started to get mad. After a while of us screaming at each other he blurted it out... About what he did to you.. Then I told him I'd call the cops. That's when he took out a gun and said he was going to kill you. I had to stop him so... I shot him.. Whit the gun he was holding- I didn't have a choice.."

I'm shocked, it's hard to process all of this. When I though James killed her, turns out he was the one to die. Is it bad that I feel relieved? I though I was in danger yesterday, but aunt Kath was trying to help me. "I was about to talk to you and reassure you, when you left. Then I tried to find you. I searched all night and finally when I saw this house, I hoped you'd be here. And you are! Those kind gentlemen took you in and helped you. So thank you for saving her and keeping her safe~"

"Not a problem, Y/N's always welcome here. She can stay as long as she wants." Hongjoong says before smiling at me. I return it grateful and happy. I feel San's hand squeeze my shoulder gently and I place mine on top of his. Aunt Kath sees it and smile. "Oh! What am I seeing here? You 2 have already fallen for each other? Was it love at first sight- or maybe you're meant to be- like soulmates!"

She claps her hands and we all laugh. What I don't notice tough is San's expression. If only I knew that it was actually almost right.

Last night, I didn't even wanna leave San. I talked to him a bit before going, he convinced me. He told me we'd see each other at school, in two days. I already miss him, how can I wait for about 48 hours before seeing him. He didn't even have his number. I guess he forgot. Also, Hongjoong and a few of the others looked suspicious, I felt like they were hiding something from me. "Y/N! Y/N~"

"I'm so happy that you're fine. If anything would've happened to you I-" Aunt Kath stops talking abruptly, tearing up.

Hours later

She brought me back to her house the day before. For the whole time from the car ride and since we arrived, she talked nonstop. Of course we went to sleep, but immediately when I woke up she made breakfast and went on about what happened. It's not that she's annoying, I just don't feel like listening. I don't even care about everything, all I want is to forget. Guess it'll be harder to do with my aunt constantly reminding me.

My attention quickly go to my aunt who's looking at me with raised eyebrows. I bite my lips before humming for her to go on. She shakes her head and sigh, seeming disappointed. My expression change to a confused one, wondering why she would be. Before opening her mouth again, she puts down the book she was holding. Which by the way I have no clue of how she was reading and speaking at the same time. "Look.. I know you went through more then what anyone could ever imagine.."

No you think? Pfft- What will she say now? Probably another hour of her telling me how pitiful I am or how bad she feels for not knowing before. Yes she said it all already, even went on about her now dead boyfriend. Insulted him in every way possible and burnt all of his belongings. I was pleased by it of course, but like I said before it's the last person I wanna hear about. I can't be mad at her, maybe it's just her way of coping with it. I mean, probably anyone would. If they would find out their boyfriend raped their dead sister's child and having to shoot him. It isn't a normal life, for sure.

"You should be more respectful" I- what? She has her hands on her hips, standing beside the table. Her eyes are piercing through mine, she's scolding me for not listening to her ramblings. I sigh tiredely. "You're in my house young lady! And not feeling well isn't a reason to ignore me or be a brat!"

Wow, seriously? I try to regain my calm and not make her any more mad then she already is. I smile apologically, of course it's fake but she doesn't need to know that. Ever since she found me at the guys house, I have a weird feeling. She seems so different then when I first arrived here. I don't feel like arguing with her right now, so I'll coax her with some bullshit. "I'm so sorry auntie~ It's just I keep thinking of a school project, it's so complicated and it makes my head hurts. What you were saying was really interesting, but I'm nervous about everything and I can't focus right now~"

She instantly become soft and apologises. She hurries to scoot me in her arms, telling to go lay down for a bit and then do my home works. I smirk triumphantly and when she grabs my shoulder to examine my face it goes back to a pout. "Thank you auntie for understanding, I'll go take a nap now~"

She leads me to the stairs, and watch me walk to my room. Once I close the door behind me, I feel like I can finally breathe. The stress I was feeling a few seconds ago, vanishing completely. The last time I was alone like this was almost two days ago, but it feels like it's been forever. So much happened in such a small period of time. My parents' death, coming to Korea, James... then San, running away, waking up in an unknown place and meeting the others and lastly Kath found me. All of that, yet it feels like it isn't over yet.

I sigh, moving away from the door. The first thing I do, is to take a shower. I scrub every part of my body as hard as I can. When I'm done, my skin is red, but It doesn't hurt. I feel better, like I cleaned all the dirt and pain away. I walk to the mirror in the bathroom, analyzing every details on my face. I need some changes, starting with a new haircut. I watch a few videos to help me, grabbing what I need. If I mess up, I can always go to the hairdresser. Grabbing the scissors, I smile. My hair fall to the floor, I cut them up to my shoulders. When I'm done, I brush them and clap my hands happily at the result. Exactly what I needed. It's pretty, I'm actually good at this.

I exit the bathroom and jump on my bed to lay down, ready for the night. Only a few seconds and the exhaution takes over, heavy eyelids closing giving place to dreamland.

Next chapter 》 5

#kpop #ateez #atiny #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #choi san fanfic #choi san x reader #choi san imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop series #ateez series #ateez fluff #ateez werewolf au #san scenario #san fanfic #san imagines #san x reader #san werewolf au

[bgech]

What's up besties? I'll tell yah, school. Kickin my ass once agian. Whatever. Double life halfslab have my whole heart, this is way more shippy than I intended, enjoy. 3409 words.

Tw for vomit tho, stay safe <3

--

Sometimes Etho will get skittish and quiet as he sinks into the recesses of the world to sulk or think or do whatever he does when he vanishes.

It seems to be happening now, which is unfortunate because "now" is the middle of a death game.

Etho was fighting off some pillagers and Joel, foolish as he was, thought it'd be funnier if he just sat by and watched. It was funny to Joel ok? Etho is perfectly capable of taking care of a few pillagers and often refuses help if offered in a situation not dissimilar to this. So Joel thought he'd be in the clear with watching his soulbound jump away from most of the arrows and keep on the offensive.

Maybe it was because they were red, maybe it was something else, but even though they never dropped below five hearts -Joel made sure of it- after Etho was done disposing of the pillagers he walked past Joel without a wink of acknowledgement. Immediately Joel stopped his teasing about porcupines and pin cushions to follow Etho into the Relation.

He was too slow up the ladder though, by the time he made it below deck Etho was gone.

It's not the worst thing that can happen, their health isn't going down so he's not in any immediate danger, but even though they have all ten hearts, Etho still got shot. A lot. Healing doesn't pull arrows out of skin, in fact it makes it worse as the arrows are now healed in, granted they're deep enough. Joel can feel the uncomfortable pulling as they're shifted while Etho moves.

He feels a sharp pain on the back of his leg, one that sends him to sit on his bed while it passes. It's not enough to take a heart away so he can't even eat to heal it. Etho's pulling out the arrows somewhere, alone, probably in the dark. Despite his nature to lurk in the deepest shadows and slink away to seep into the void, he hates the dark. Joel knows he hates the dark.

When Etho went with Impulse down into the deep dark he came back with not much enchanted gear and way too many torches. Every square inch of their base was bright as daylight, to the point where Joel couldn't sleep. He asked Etho about it a few days later and got him to confess that he hated dark spots. Still wasn't used to the new spawn patterns of all that go bump in the night.

There was another pain, this one in his shoulder, this one a lot worse. It took a few hearts and when Etho decided that healing was optional, Joel decided to find him. He was going to give him space and time to be alone, etho likes his own company more than anyone else's and is probably the only person Joel knows where it's a better idea to let them isolate. But if etho isn't gonna take care of himself he needs finding.

Now, finding etho is one of those things that doesn't happen. Especially when he vanishes. Etho does not want to be found so he will stay hidden. Joel knows this, everyone knows this. So how is Joel gonna do it? Well he's gonna cheat.

<Smallishbeans> etho's gone

<Grian> that's our problem because...?

<TangoTek> ditched ya?

<Smallishbeans> no, he's gone. like, sunk into the cracks of your server gone.

<ZombieCleo> oh shit!

<Pearlescentmoon> uh oh!!

<Grian> o no, ok, everyone stay put, stay still, joel i'll be right there

He hates to make Grian go all admin mode in the middle of a session but..well even though it's just a game Joel has become quite attached to Etho, and would like him to not be bleeding somewhere in the dark.

Grian does arrive, in all of his purple eyed glory, to ask exactly what had happened to make Etho run off into the night. At which Joel had to look Grian in his many, many eyes and admit that he was being a bit of an asshole while Etho was getting shot, at which Grian just looked..so disappointed. Mostly at Joel, some at himself, but man. A many eyed disappointed stare has a lot more power than the normal, expected, two eye experience.

Joel just feels worse when Grian sighs, rolls his shoulders, and blips away in a flurry of obstructed code and feathers. He decides to just go inside and make sure he has enough bandaids to cover for all the freakin arrow holes Etho is sure to have. So he sits there, twiddling his thumbs until he hears Grian shout something indignant from over the hills and Etho comes skittering in through a window, some arrows still in him.

He freezes briefly when he catches sight of Joel but when Grian's footfalls sound on the deck he scrambles under Joel's bed. Etho's an arctic fox but he's a sewer rat man at his core. He steals, he vanishes, he squeezes into places he Very Much Shouldn't be able to fit in. And, and he lives in the walls, in the basements of the world, so it's no surprise when he chooses to burrow underneath something when push comes to shove.

Grain climbs down the ladder, holding Etho's jacket and looking more out of breath than Joel has seen him during the whole damn game. He tosses the coat at Joel's face, muttering something about fixing his mistakes and Etho being a "slippery little shit when he wants to be". Grian then fucks off to probably fix whatever he broke chasing Etho back home.

They sit for a while in the quiet, the only sounds being the critters outside in the night.

"He's gone," Joel says to the empty air, "you can come out now, I don't bite" Etho shifts under the bed, his fluffy tail brushing against the back of Joel's ankle making him jump.

"Etho I know you hate the dark, and I know for damn sure you're bleeding all over my nice floors under there"

Etho responds with a very respectable growl.

"I know, I was mean to you, shouldn't have been," he dangles a box of bandaids below the bed frame, "I've got batman bandaids," he sing-songs, "and I'll make you some borscht"

Etho snatches the box and tells him to go away, which he does. If Etho wants privacy, then privacy he shall get. Plus he promised him borscht and like hell Joel is going back on that.

Making borscht is not a skill Joel has honed, but living with etho has made him learn how to make a decent pot. He gets through the whole process before he feels Etho pull out another arrow, this one rips at the skin more than he'd have liked to know and he hears a stifled yelp from the window.

Balancing two bowls of borscht, holding spoons, and climbing down a ladder is hard and he's suddenly very thankful that he built the Relation. Unbeknownst to everyone there's a trap door at ground level, which he uses to enter instead of breaking his neck on the way down.

Now, Etho is not a pitiful man. Though he's wire thin, impressively quiet and often alone, he's a very respectable player. He's profound in redstone, great at building and not half bad at pvp, especially in the forever vaguely mentioned "good ol' days". But looking at him now, it is hard to believe. In nothing but his trousers and mask he's struggling to reach an arrow lodged between his shoulder blades, ears pinned to the side of his head, he's really got the Kicked Puppy look about him.

"Etho," he doesn't startle, just turns to look at Joel with mistrust, backing away with his hands slightly raised, "can I get that for you etho?"

"..you actually made borscht?"

" 'course I did, you can eat it while I, y'know, make you less full of holes?"

"mm, ok, fine"

"Thank you, I'll be gentle I promise"

"You don't need to be gentle Joel, I can take a little pain y'know"

"I know just," he takes a breath, "just let me do this for you Etho, think of it like an apology hm?"

Etho's ears perk up for a moment before swiveling like he's misheard. He glances at all the corners of the room, a perimeter check, before taking the offered bowl and spoon and sitting on Joel's bed. Not his own, because it's been overturned to make a nice little cave for him to sleep in.

He reaches up to lower his mask but hesitates, throwing a glance back at Joel who's getting a cloth saturated with warm water and his ears flick back again.

"I won't look Eth, just enjoy the stew"

Etho turns away, lowering his mask and taking a sip, "it's a soup"

"Right right, my bad, soup it is. I'm gonna get this arrow out now, ok?"

"..ok"

With the help of the warm cloth and proper angling the arrow slides out without much protest. His back twitches at the feeling involuntarily but Etho's still happily eating the borscht and Joel can confirm that it didn't hurt too bad. He thought about making a comment along the lines of "isn't that better than ripping em out" but it'd do more harm than good so he keeps it to himself.

He replaces the arrow with a patch and puts a bandaid on top for good measure. There's a few other spots that Etho missed or just didn't have time to get to so he starts on cleaning away the dried blood and patching up those too. By the time that Etho's back is clean and bandaged he's finished his borscht and his head is bobbing slightly.

"You falling asleep etho?"

"Mmm"

"D'you wanna get in your cave or..?"

"..maybe." He leans back, mask back in place, and knocks his forehead against Joel's ribs, "maybe not..?"

"What's got you so clingy?" He asked as brushes his thumb over etho's forehead, sweeping back unruly bangs, "not that I'm complaining but, you've never been..well like this, I suppose"

"You're not dark"

"I'm not what?"

"It's still dark and..well, you're not" it was now that Joel noticed that etho's hands looked to be dipped in black ink, the space around his eyes having the same treatment, like eyeliner on a rainy day. "Can you stay here till it's bright again?"

"Oh, Etho of course I can, just, ok just give me a moment alright?"

Etho, albeit very reluctantly, lets himself be detangled from Joel, who gets up to change into something to sleep in. He also puts away Etho's empty bowl and his still full one to save for later. He contacts Grian that everything is ok, who then contacts the rest of the server saying the session can continue. By the time he returns Etho has decided that waiting up for him was overrated and inefficient. He's commandeered Joel's blanket to wrap around himself with his head under the pillow. That's right, under it.

The left side of the bed is still free and Etho did say he wanted him to stay, so instead of awkwardly trying to disturb whatever peace etho's found, he just climbs in next to him and opens his book to read. Etho curls around him and comes out from under the pillow to shove his masked face into Joel's side. Joel makes the mistake of glancing down after a paragraph only to make eye contact with Etho's best puppy eyes.

Here's the thing about Etho's eyes. They're pretty large in comparison to the rest of his face, maybe it's because of the mask blocking everything else from sight, but fact of the matter is Etho has big, sad eyes and he knows it. He uses it to his advantage at every turn, every moment he can he puts on the Sad Eyes and he'll get what he wants. This is all well and good, except for the fact that Joel doesn't know what he wants.

"What is it?"

Etho whines at him, a very distinctly not human sound.

"Do you want me to read aloud? That it?"

Etho settles back to his previous position, letting his eyes relax into the half closed state they're usually in.

Alright then, he can read out loud. Not well nobody said he was good at it, but it can be done, and if it'll keep Etho calm for the night then who's he to say no?

And though every time he reaches a character name and he has to pronounce it out loud for the first time, failing at least twice, and every time he comes across a word like "grotesque" he has to fight back the urge to say "gro-tes-que", Etho seems to be enjoying himself. How does he know? Well Etho's wrapped himself up in a little burrito roll, every part of him covered, save for his face of course, and the very end of his tail. The end of a tail which is constantly tapping away on the mattress.

As long as he's happy, Joel is happy too.

He gets through a surprising amount of the book before Etho gives it up and closes his eyes. He had been blinking lazily for the past however long, obviously exhausted from whatever run around he did avoiding grian, but trying to stay awake anyway. But now he lay still as a rock, tucked carefully into Joel's side. Joel himself is just as tired so he decides that a nap won't hurt. It's not really a nap now that it's past midnight, it's just sleep, but he has a bit of a sneaking suspicion that the Dark will be making another appearance before the sun rises.

He drifts off easily, how can he not? He's warm and safe and he's got someone curled around him, holding him gently. He doesn't dream, never has, and maybe he never will. It doesn't matter to him.

What does matter is the fact that he's been proven right. He usually likes being proven right because that means he wins, he was correct all along and they were foolish to think otherwise. He does not like being proven right when it's about the dark. They've only been through it once before, etho's first night after the warden shenanigans went down. He had gone under his bed into the cave he'd built, only to wake Joel up when he jolted awake and tried to run. Thing about having a cave for a bed is the escape routes are one way and quite narrow, so in his panic to get out of the dark and away from the warden that he was sure was right there, he ran into just about every corner and wall on his way out.

Needless to say that it hurt and combined with the pain and the noise Joel was awake and at his side fairly quickly. Joel, for all he's worth, is not the greatest at calming people down, he knows this. So in his attempt to stop Etho from suffocating them to death via panic attack, he got them both outside and made etho stare at the sun for a few minutes. It didn't calm him down at all, but the confusion of why he was unceremoniously dragged outside and then forced to look at the big ball of burning gas was enough of a puzzle to get him to breathe again. Maybe the wind and light was what did it, who knows.

It was a big win for everybody involved.

Staring at the sun, while a nice confusion tactic, hurts the eyes and is not actually recommended by anyone of any sorts of smarts. So maybe don't stare at the sun, it'll hurt ur eyes

Anyway, Joel was proven right when at around 3, maybe 4, Etho's subconscious decided that it was no longer a good idea to be asleep. Joel woke up to etho sitting up rather abruptly. In his sleepy haze he didn't realize why and was honestly just annoyed that his pillow had left him.

"Y'aright etho"

He doesn't get an answer, just a wet sounding cough, which is bad for a lot of reasons. Is it blood? Vomit? Just spit stuck in Etho's throat?

"Etho"

He sits up and puts a hand on Etho's shoulder, trying to turn him around to maybe get a better idea of what's wrong. Etho shakes his head and pulls away, coughing into his hand again, sounding worse than before.

"Bucket?"

He nods and coughs again, doubling over as it doesn't stop. Joel gets up from the bed and tries to find a bucket before Etho's willpower loses against whatever is choking him but in all his frantic searching he finds nothing but the empty borscht bowl from earlier. If it's as bad as it sounds the bowl is not going to be nearly enough, he has to find a goddam bucket, or Etho is going to drown in his own misery in front of him and, oh it was staring him right in the face the whole time.

He returns to Etho's side not a moment later and shoves the bucket under him just as Etho's hand moves out of the way and he makes a god awful retching sound. Joel looks away for common courtesy, nobody likes to be looked at when they throw up, but he doesn't move from his post next to Etho. He knows from personal experience that it's good to have something solid to lean on after a long bout of throwing up, and while the wall is there it's probably not very nice to bump into after a go like this.

So he stays while Etho continues to spit and hack into the bucket and he stays when Etho starts to cry in between heaves of sour smelling, bloody looking gunk. He stays a warm presence at his side as Etho coughs and coughs again, trying to rid himself of the Dark that's crawled inside his lungs and infected his stomach. He's there to catch him when Etho finally, finally finishes and crumples to the side. He lets etho recover for a moment before he gets up to get him a wet rag to wipe his face with. He then takes the bucket outside and burns it. And when he gets back from his impromptu bonfire he'll give etho a cold glass of water and make a show of turning around so he can drink.

"Feeling any better?"

"Mm-mm" Etho shakes his head negative

"I sort of figured," Etho huffed a laugh, "but I am sorry that whatever..that..was happened"

Etho didn't respond, just hummed a little and curled his arms around himself in a loose sort of hug. Joel could only see his eyes but he still looked like a sick dog about to be taken out back. He's still not got a shirt so Joel turns to find him one, that'll make him feel better, right? Not so exposed. A harder task than once thought because Etho likes to squirrel away all of his things into little holes and cubbies and containers all around which leads Joel to just give up and give Etho one of his own. With the height difference he was initially worried about it being much too small, but Etho's all legs and bone anyway, he'll be fine.

He dumps the shirt on Etho's head and settles himself back against the headboard, it is his bed after all.

Concerningly, Etho doesn't move for a few moments, somewhere Else to be sure, but he comes back fast enough that Joel isn't worried about him blipping away again. He stops staring at the back of Etho's head and turns his attention to the ceiling, counting and recounting the grooves of the wood, waiting for Etho to make a decision. A decision that's decided when he feels Etho tentatively lay down next to him, on his side, facing the wall. His hands are curled close to his face, which Joel now notes is uncovered by the normal mask. Instead it's tucked under the blanket, held in place by his hands with his nose exposed.

Etho's ears are back to being relaxed atop his head and his eyes are closed so Joel counts his blessings and settles in for more sleep.

--

I hate how this ends aach but I wanna post it before class is over lmaoo.

Shout out to all the people who stare at the sun during meltdowns, I'm one of u.

#what are the tags help #double life smp #trafficshipping #ethoslab #joel smallishbeans #i feel like doublelife is one word #doublelifesmp #like that #boat boys #smalletho #ok byebye i gotta go to math :(

[otherhearted-culture-is]

ok, brand new here, i have a question. I don’t mean this to sound mean or judgy at all, I’m genuinely curious. I was in the furry community a few years back and I know a little about otherkin because the communities overlapped, and I’m wondering what are the differences between being otherkin and otherhearted? what does it mean to be otherhearted? from what I’ve seen so far it’s really varied and different from person to person, so I guess I’m asking with the second one what does it mean to you? what does it feel like to you, how did you discover/come to the decision to use the labels you do? what parts of you do you feel they describe?

of course you can just not answer this if you want or skip over certain question, I’m really sorry if any of these read like I’m judging, this is just the most concise way I could come up with to ask what I wanted to ask. thanks for reading all this, I hope you have a good day <3

Don't worry, you didn't come off as judgemental at all. These are good and thoughtful questions, and I'll do my best to address each one individually. I apologize if any of these explanations become too rambly. The 'tism compels me. You know how it is.

What is the difference between being otherkin and being otherhearted? This one is simple, or at least it is on paper. The difference is identifying with vs. identifying as; otherkin are their kintypes, while otherhearted folks are not their hearttypes. I say that this is simple on paper because while it's an easy enough difference to explain, otherhearted folks and otherkin can have plenty of experiences in common*, so it's not always easy to determine which one you are if you're questioning it. It's difficult to put into words what that crucial being factor actually feels like, after all. *Mental/phantom shifts, noemata, desiring to species transition in some way, etc.

What does being otherhearted mean to me, the mod of this blog? What does it feel like? This might be the hardest question of all of them, as 'heartedness is notoriously one of the hardest alterhuman experiences to put into words. Maybe it's different in other languages, but both the languages I happen to know feel poorly equipped for the task. Regardless, I'll do my best. It says in this blog's pinned post, but for those who aren't aware, my hearttypes are spiders and Kris Dreemurr from the game Deltarune. My otherheartedness in involuntary and a mix of familial attachment, "me but not literally", and being, I suppose, a "Kris-themed" and "spider-themed" person on some fundamental level. I care deeply about my hearttypes, I want to be associated with them as much as possible, and I am ontologically adjacent to them (… if that makes any sense at all). All this stuff sits right next to my literally being certain things on the metaphorical identity shelf, even though it's not in the same category. I don't really get full on hearttype-related shifts, but I do get random impulses related to them sometimes. I don't get any body dysphoria from them or deeply long to look like them as I do my kintypes, but I certainly wouldn't mind looking like them and I occasionally find myself wanting that a little bit. I've previously written an in-depth post about being spiderhearted specifically, which you can read here if you're so inclined. I won't rewrite everything I said there. I never got around to writing an equivalent post about being Krishearted, unfortunately. My feelings about Kris Dreemurr ended up being even harder to put into words than my feelings about spiders.

How did I arrive at the labels I use right now? Before I knew about the term otherhearted, I was struggling for months over whether or not I was spiderkin. Was I a Caribena versicolor? Maybe a Theraphosidae cladotherian? Hell, maybe I was a fucking Araneae cladotherian. Maybe I was just all the spiders. That's like, 50,000+ species, but there was no denying I felt some connection to all of them, and even to fictional spiders. But… none of these actually felt right. And yet, at the same time, there was something there. Just saying that spiders were my favorite animal was woefully inadequate. Sure, that's technically true, but that description was so shallow compared to what I actually felt that it was almost painful to say. I kind of gave up after a while. It seemed like there was no answer for whatever was going on there. I don't remember exactly how, but some time after that, I discovered the term otherhearted. That prompted me to start thinking about the spider thing again, and it did take some more internal debate, but not a whole lot. I pretty quickly arrived at the conclusion I was spiderhearted once I knew the term existed. When it comes to Kris, it all started as a flicker. If you're not familiar with the term flicker, they're basically like... temporary kintypes. Usually a flicker will occur shortly after consuming the source material, but in this case it was after I hyperfixated extremely hard on the source for over half a year straight. The flicker lasted a bit over a week, and occurred in November of last year. It was pretty easy to tell when the flicker had ended. I no longer felt the emotions associated with Kris' story as literally my own, it didn't feel unnatural to refer to them in third person anymore, I stopped having dysphoria about not being a boss monster, and I stopped being weirdly obsessed with knives. But my identity didn't completely revert. I was left with something that I now did know the word for: a hearttype.

What parts of me do those labels describe?

I suppose they describe my proximity to other things? There's not any specific "section" of myself that I can point to and say "it's that" like I can for something like gender, species, or narrative identity. Otherheartedness is unusual in that way- it's an internal identity that is related to something outside the self.

Thanks for reading this very long post. And to Anon, I hope it answered your questions to a satisfactory degree.

#otherhearted #otherkith #alterhuman #spiderhearted #fictionhearted #this is the longest post I've ever written I'm pretty sure? I had to cut a huge section out of it to get tumblr to even save it #not otherhearted culture #Q and A #information #anonymous