#he had so much left to do

[taisssaturner]

WDYM ANGUS CLOUD DIED?!

#angus cloud #he had so much left to do

[jo-sleepycrow]

Yeah im crying i hate this

This is why i like fics, if it is major character death i fly away from it.

And now my favourite character is dead

Happy bkdk month i guess 💔

#bnha spoilers #bnha 362 #bakugo #bkdk #bnha #mha #the worst case scenario #he had so much left to do #i still can't believe he died #so much suffering #i don't know how im going to recover from this #they never really talked after the apology #heart broken #just when im alone at home is when this happens

[reineydraws]

so there's this post that talks about how people call jason's curved knife a kris but it's not a kris 'cuz why would he have a southeast asian knife? and op's tags say if you're gonna give him an 'exotic' weapon at least make him malay or something. a later reblog adds a filipino kris as an example, and then i was like, 'omg, jason in a barong tho.' SO i tried designing a bat-barong inspired by his hood logo, for a filipino jason haha. and now here we are! 😊✨️🇵🇭

#jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfamily fanart #dc #dc fanart #i love barongs SO MUCH i used to think they were just a boy thing but my mom and i found a barong dress for me to wear for graduation ✨️✨️ #i was so happy lol #i am posting a lot of lil doodles rn cuz i finished some big involved pieces for the zines im in and this is all the energy i have left rn #anyways i made him white-passing bc comics but like. #it should track that he looks a lil asian too cuz he thinks lady shiva might be his mom right??? so he could feasibly be half... 🤷🏻‍♀️ #i like thinking he's a lil filipino but only cuz im all the way filipino (except for all the ways im not hashtag immigrant kid life) #I DIGRESS #here's another extremely niche jason todd post from yours truly 😌✌️✨️ #sorry if the knife isnt to scale it's only occuring to me now that i just *assumed* it'd be longer than a man's forearm oops #ugh barongs are so pretty. idve tried designing more if i had the patience to do the detail work rn 🥲 mb in the future who knows #he's wearing a sando underneath!!!!

[mylovelookup]

Cattonquick boarding school sweethearts/romeo & Juliet AU

In which Oliver also comes from old money and he and Felix fall in love in boarding school(?). The Quicks and the Cattons have been business partners since Queen Victoria was still kicking so Ollie and Felix have known each other their whole lives (summers and holidays always spent together) but when their family ties are suddenly severed after a hostile fight between their fathers, the boys’ last year at Eton is irrevocably ruined. As a reaction they decide (it was Felix’s idea and he succeeded in cajoling Oliver to agree) to elope run away on the first day of the Christmas holidays (imagine their respective chauffeurs endlessly waiting for them at the school gates lmao) and get married on a whim (also Felix’s idea to somehow "fix" things like ta-da! Can’t separate us now dad, we’re fucking married. Oliver is now a Catton. Family peace restored! No, not really Felix lmao.)

#needless to say they get caught the very next day #maybe they didn’t have much cash left and the only -pace they could’ve slept in for free was the hotel in the area that the Cattons owned #the reception prolly snitched but they both knew they would get caught eventually #also it doesn’t help that they’re the heirs of the richest aristocratic families in England #maybe they keep their marriage secret?it would be smarter to considering the repercussions but also maybe Felix it out first thing? #bc its Felix duh #as a consequence to their little escapade Oliver is pulled out of Eton for the rest of the year and the two of them only get to meet #the next year at Oxford where they have to keep things on the down low since Oliver’s father has threatened to transfer him to Cambridge if #if he’s seen frolicking about with Felix. it’s also difficult when Farleigh is acting as a (well-paid) spy for both parties #although both Jeff and James had sprinkled other eyes on the campus #oooh imagine them trying to hide in the back of the club. making out whilst crouching down behind dumpsters lmaooo #or or or! Felix attempting to throw them off by hooking up with indiabel and Oliver is so jealous he ends up doing the same thing #even tho he prolly knows about Felix’s intentions. (Farleigh doesn’t help with his catty comments about ephemeral love) #highlighting Felix’s well known shallowness. and then Felix gets jealous too so it’s a vicious cycle of pointing fingers at each other hehe #anyway they prolly end up like Romeo and Juliet #I was only supposed to do ONE canvas but got carried away and this shit developed a plot! sedate me #also this layout sucks wtf #saltburn #fanart #my art #felix catton #cattonquick #Saltburn fanart #oliver quick #felix x oliver #cattonquick fanart

[moodyseal]

Nathalie: Don't weaponize your son's sadness

Gabriel: I'm not a monster, Nathalie

The narrator: He was, in fact, a monster

#he definitely lost any crumb of humanity he had left #like. not to say he didn't do something similar before and that he wasn't always like this #because he was. chat blanc and ephemeral both proved that #but holy shit this felt so much more intentional??? somehow???? #miraculous ladybug #ml #ml spoilers #transmission spoilers #miraculous ladybug spoilers #lonely thoughts

[fictionadventurer]

What was the point of Scrooge's trip with the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come? On a structural level, it makes sense--three is the fairy tale number, and you can't visit the past and present without also including the future--but on a character level, it doesn't quite seem necessary. Showing a man that he'll die alone, unloved, and unmourned seems like the strategy you take as the last-ditch effort to convince a guy that he needs to change his ways. But that situation doesn't apply to Scrooge. He started softening immediately after he first arrived in his past. By the time he finished with the Ghost of Christmas Present, he was fully onboard with the need to reform, so the Ghost's vision of his future seems like unnecessary cruelty. Why show him all this when he was already planning to change his ways?

A few things come to mind. One is that this vision of the future wouldn't have affected Scrooge unless he had already changed his ways. A cold, hard businessman could have seen his lonely death as just the way of the world, might have viewed the people who stole the clothes from his corpse as just people doing what's practical in this world. He needed to relearn the value of the intangibles--human connection, respect for others--to see the true horror of the lonely death and the vultures who defiled the dead man.

But why the horror? Can't he reform without being threatened with doom? It's possible--but it's also possible such a reform would be temporary. After all, Scrooge started as a friendly, loving young man, but retreated into himself and his business out of fear of poverty and fear of the way the world looks down upon poor people. Even if a reformed Scrooge started on a course of Christmas charity, there was always a chance that the enthusiasm would fade, and the worldly fears would start creeping back in. The only way to beat those fears is to give him something to fear that's even worse than poverty. He needs to see the horrible end that his selfish ways would lead to, so he won't be tempted to slide back into them.

There's also the fact that seeing his death makes him ecstatically happy to find that he's alive after the Ghost is gone. Had Scrooge been spared the vision of his future, he might have been happy to find himself on Christmas Day, but his joy would have been nowhere near the manic glee he experiences after coming back from the future. Now, he doesn't just get a new start--he gets a second chance. Coming back from his own grave makes him mindful of his death, but it also makes him hyperaware of the fact that he's still alive. He isn't in the ground yet. He still has time to do good and make connections with others so he doesn't die alone.

Seeing the past reminded him of the innocence he'd lost. Seeing the present reminded him of the people whose lives he was missing out on. Seeing the future reminded him that death is waiting, so it's important to live virtuously while we can. All three are important because all three brought him outside of himself and taught him to value the wider world, just in time to live through another Christmas Day.

#a christmas carol #charles dickens #once again i've ponderously worked my way to the explicitly stated moral of the story #but i had to work my way there because stave 4 left me unsettled #had i been scrooge that trip probably would have squashed any desire i had to reform #the ghost *doesn't say* whether or not the future can be changed #what if this is just proof he's doomed no matter what so why bother changing? #fortunately scrooge was much better than i was about logic #namely: no reason to show him this future if it *can't* be changed #the point of these ghosts is to save him from marley's fate #plus we did have the ghost of christmas present's implications that future shadows can be changed #it's kind of interesting when you step back from familiar stories that just go this way because it's how they're supposed to go #and really dig into 'wait a minute. why did it go like this?' #it usually winds up with me figuring out that the writer knew what they were doing #but it's also nice to see the scaffolding that got us to the story

[just-a-queer-crow]

The 9-1-1 fandom is one of the most annoying fandoms ive been in can we STOP obsessing over Buddie PLEASE, like i get it i see it too, i sorta ship it, ive read a lot of fanfic, BUT theres also Henren, Bathena, MADNEY (biased on them)!!!

Also Buck and Eddie have relationships w/ the rest of the crew that r so important and so overlooked. Buck and Hen r literally siblings!! Eddie and Hen is so underexplored imo!!! Buck and Chim r also siblings!!! Bobby is literally Buck’s dad! Eddie and the dispatch team!!!! BUCK AND MADDIE‼️‼️‼️

The fandom is so focused on the one mlm ship thats not even canon and im just,,, im so over it. Esp w/ Buck being confirmed bi and everyone being like ‘why is everyone jumping ship Tommy’s only gonna be here for a little bit 😡😡😡’ like??? Theyre cute??? Its canon??? Ppl can multi-ship. Calm down‼️ Get over urself‼️‼️‼️

#im so over it #also the hatred for any of Buck and Eddie live interests is disgusting #do not understand it #Abby experienced a major trauma and while she didnt go abt it in the best way she had to do it #Ali realized she wasnt ready for everything that came with buck being a firefighter #and while i dont like that she left while he was hurt i understamd #Taylor fucked up but she also had a job #and her job came first to her #and her and buck just werent the right match for each other #that fandom makes me not ship buddie that much #like i see how gay that are and i get it but godddd #fandom gonna fandom ig #911 abc #911 show #911 fox #buck buckley #maddie buckley #madney #henren #bathena #buddie #tevan #evan buckley #bucktommy #henrietta wilson #karen wilson #howard han #chimney han #bobby nash #athena grant

[blaithnne]

I’m literally fine I don’t care its not even that big of a deal it’s whatever who’s Hilda

#me watching the entire trailer: right but what does this mean for Lauren #I think I’m gonna end up making her story a whole much more canon divergent au if I wanna keep it the same lol #I’ll only be 4 chapters into Plenism when it comes out tho so #i can always do a quick rewrite I suppose? #I’ve kept things as vauge as possible but it does rely on Hilda being johannas biological kid born via a regular pregnancy #the time the dad left would have to be altered anyway if he had left after Hilda was brown #cause the whole premise of the what if au is ‘what if the show was written with lauren in mind from the start’ #so things would be p different anyway #ANYWAYS #hilda #hilda the series #netflix hilda #hilda netflix #Hilda spoilers #Hilda season 3 spoilers #Hilda (Hilda) #Hilda johanna #Johanna hilda #Hilda david #David hilda #Hilda frida #frida hilda #Hilda twig #twig hilda #raven Hilda #Hilda raven #the great raven #aunt astrid Hilda #Hilda aunt astrid #aunt Astrid

[katsigian]

── ⁺⭒*˖☽ ⁺˖ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴏᴄ ᴘɪᴄʀᴇᴡ ˖⁺ ☾˖*⭒⁺ ──

Tagged by @carlosoliveiraa + @devilbrakers + @quickhacked + @vvanessaives thank you all ♡

Picrew here!

─── ⁺ ☾⭒๋ 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔞𝔴 // 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔴𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔢𝔯 | 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔬𝔯 | 𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔰 𝔰𝔶𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔪𝔰

─── ⁺ ☾⭒๋ 𝔫𝔦𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔞 𝔟𝔩𝔞𝔨𝔢 // 𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔴𝔬𝔩𝔣 | 𝔣𝔦𝔵𝔢𝔯 | 𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔱

─── ⁺ ☾⭒๋ 𝔰𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔶 // 𝔳𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔢 | 𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔞𝔯𝔶 | 𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩 𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢

─── ⁺ ☾⭒๋ 𝔣𝔞𝔴𝔫 𝔳𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔢𝔫 // 𝔴𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 | 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯 | 𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔩𝔞𝔴𝔰

─── ⁺ ☾⭒๋ 𝔳𝔢𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔯 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔞𝔴 // 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔴𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔢𝔯 | 𝔫𝔢𝔱𝔯𝔲𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔯 | 𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩 𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔢

─── ⁺ ☾⭒๋ 𝔳𝔢𝔤𝔞 𝔣𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔰 // 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔴𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔢𝔯 | 𝔰𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔫 | 𝔧𝔬𝔡𝔢𝔰 (𝔫𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔡)

Taglist to opt in/out if you'd like ♡ and there's zero pressure to do this one, or to share your results, if you'd rather not!

@rindemption @noirapocalypto @westealtoys @cloudofbutterflies92 @opaleyedprince @mercymaker @yharnams @nightbloodbix @galvus @kharonion @skelior @peaches-n-screem @spicyraeman @feykiller @florbelles @aceghosts @nokstella @dameayliins @dani-the-goblin @elvenbeard @dickytwister @hibernationsuit @hiddenbeks @jerichoes @aggravateddurian @hummingbirdsage @archonfurina @vanoefucks @seluned @gothimp @onehornedbeast @baldurians @thefrostyshepard @balverine2077 @cybersteal @ratsstick @ancunine @ronqueesha @wormskul @vivanightcity @cyberholic77 @lilacmox @strafethesesinners @vincentmatthews @jaydenborn @sh00kspeared

#these were so cute i had so much fun #Valen up in the top left looking grumpy and self medicating with coffee and cigarettes as he's wont to do #smh my head even in this picrew i could capture his vague RBF #and Fawn's is just delightful. her blue hair is almost a perfect match along with the expression of just. Ugh #cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk oc #masc v #male v #fem v #picrew #oc picrew #get in the tags boy #tag games 💌 #⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔳𝔢𝔰𝔭𝔢𝔯 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔞𝔴 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋ #⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔳𝔞𝔩𝔢𝔫 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔞𝔴 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋ #⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔣𝔞𝔴𝔫 𝔳𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔞𝔫𝔢𝔫 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋ #⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔫𝔦𝔨𝔦𝔱𝔞 𝔟𝔩𝔞𝔨𝔢 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋ #⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔳𝔢𝔤𝔞 𝔣𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔰 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋ #⠀- ̗̀ ⸨ 𝔤𝔢𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔦/𝔰𝔢𝔱𝔥 𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔰𝔢𝔶 ⸩⁺☀︎⭒๋

[rhymaes]

The Untamed, Eps. 19, 20 // Red, Chase Berggrun

#I spent SOOOO MUCH TIME ON THSIBBECAUSE LIKE. WHAT ELSE CAN A GHOST DO BUT HAUNT #he was dead the moment the core left his chest & yet. & yet. he came back. because his siblings needed him. because the war. his friends #and I’m loving them so much he gave it all up—including (in his mind) that love #like. fuck. you can’t move beyond the grave when you’re burying yourself with your other hand !!! #the untamed #mdzs #mdzs fanart #mxtx mdzs #wei ying #wei wuxian #lan zhan #lan wangji #hanguang jun #jiang cheng #jiang wanyin #also I’ve had this book for three years I KNOW im behind but holy FUCK WVERYONE GO READ IT NOW #I love. queer people. I love Dracula. I love erasers #& bestie chase. get it.

[aristotle0]

falling in the voltron / klance fandom hole was not in my 2024 bingo card

#voltron #vld #klance #vld klance #keith kogane #lance mcclain #not that I complain #I love these two people a little too much #middle school me had been telling me to watch voltron for so long I decided to give it a go #s8 left me without energy #how do I go back to how my life was now #maybe I shouldn't #anyways #langst #but like in a he deserves the world way #fic recs please???

[hes-a-tough-kid]

I keep thinking about the guilt Spider would hold if he went back to Awa’atlu with the Sullys after seeing what the RDA did to the other Metkayina villages, and he overworks himself to collapse trying to atone for that like

He stays out on the water all day trying to bring in food, but the sun is so lethally hot without the shade he’s used to in the forest that he gets heat stroke. It burns his skin and he collapses on the beach when he finally comes back to land

He works so hard he forgets to eat and drink, and it’s inconvenient anyway without a room with his air, and he doesn’t really notice until his vision starts to swim and his stomach cramps so hard he falls to his knees

Others around him tell him to take it easy and he just laughs and agrees he probably should, but every night he lurches awake from nightmares of burning homes and blood in the water and he cant stop. He cant

He doesn’t mess around with the Sully kids anymore and they tell him they miss him, and he misses them too but every time he feels himself relaxing the guilt pulls him back under like a wave

Every time someone finds Spider collapsed unconscious somewhere, their collective worry grows. He feels it, the way everyone watches him closer, but assumes it’s just because they don’t trust him enough to let him out of sight and… well, thats fine. He gets it, it’s fine.

#spider socorro #avatar 2 #miles spider socorro #sorry i am just so brainrotten about this boy #i made a supercut of all my favourite moments of his from the movie #and ive had it on repeat for 36 hours pretty much #and do you know how much he does for everyone else?? how much he tries to help without even thinking?? #the way he fights tooth and nail to get to lo’ak and tuk and tsireya on the ship just to see if theyre okay #and they are and he is fine to be locked back up again as long as theyre okay #i can imagine that selflessness becoming pathological when he’s trying to avoid facing something #throwing himself into distraction to avoid being left with his thoughts #just… man. man. #kid's post

[mumbledramblings]

[Trigun OC]

Team "would rather die than admit something's bothering them"

So for the first good chunk of their relationship, Bad Luck and Vash were more "fucking" than "dating". Bad Luck was really apprehensive about romantic entanglements, and had been taken advantage of by a friend, in the past. (While not THE reason he was kicked out of his community, it was definitely related.)

However, Vash-- aware of Luck's hesitance but not of the reasons why-- already had a little bit of a crush on him. So when Luck stupidly offered a FWB situation, Vash accepted, thinking he could be chill about it. He quickly realized, no, he could NOT be chill about it, and spent the next few months relentlessly pining and feeling guilty and wanting to broach the subject, but never saying anything.

Eventually, Vash's crush gets revealed, and by that point Bad Luck has kinda fallen in love with him and they get together and Bad Luck insists that it's all fine, water under the bridge. Truthfully, though, he feels a little betrayed, and has this sense of "why the fuck would you think that's a good idea" towards Vash, hanging over his head. But he also thinks he has no place feeling this way because he never told Vash why he was so hesitant (and still hasn't), and also he does love Vash now anyway, so there's really no point bringing this up now and messing with the status quo, right?

And that's just the beginning of their relationship. There's a whole bunch of other plot-related problems they never talk about until after things boil over. Eventually, they'll get their acts together and talk through everything, I promise. Eventually. It just, might take until after the plot's fully resolved for them to get there.

#typing up this post for the THIRD TIME because i'm FUCKING STUPID and ACCIDENTALLY DELETED the last one #to the person who left the nice comment on the other one i'm so sorry i just accidentally posted it while i was still typing and i panicked #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun fanart #vash the stampede #mid draws #oc - bad luck #trigun oc #mid writes #copying the tags on the other post bc they're relevant and i want them to be seen #working title is “i hope we both die” #which doesn't explain exactly what's going on between them #but i hope it helps you grasp how much they Dont Talk about their problems #you can tell whenever i have a mental spiral because i turn all my favs into the most terrible people to have a relationship with #i love you vash and i know you're a good boy in my heart #but i firmly believe he's never had a healthy relationship and he's not about to start now #/end #If anything is worded/formatted weird do not tell me. it's 3:30am and i typed this in a panicked frenzy #i'm going back to bed

[2sw]

You got to wake up. because if you don't, then trying to keep that dream alive will destroy you! It'll destroy everything!

Supernatural S8E08 Hunteri Heroici ( + S8E06 Southern Comfort )

#sam winchester #spn 8x08 #spn 8x06 #s8 #gifs #I wish they had actually shown how Sam dealt with his grief after s7 #but it's not that hard to understand why he didn't try harder to find Dean #It was just too much for him. He was left all alone in the world #Bobby was already dead at that point #Dean and Cas disappeared before his eyes (he probably thought they were dead. certainly didn't know they were in purgatory) #and the king of hell took Kevin #Isn't it obvious why he was running from all of it and trying to hold on to something? it was too much for anyone to go through alone #I'm saying it wasn't the best thing to do but totally understandable #(and what's so criminal about trying to make his life less miserable anyway??) #the sad thing is almost every choice he made while running from the burden of reality turned into messes #He had to leave the woman he loves and now his brother trusts a vampire over him #All of that piled up and weighed down on him #It made him question his self-worth #And that insecurity led him to the church in the season finale (not to mention the whole “I'm not clean” thing) #and even after s8... oh I can't do this rn. I'm sad again

[mishapen-dear]

something about qbad mentioning how much horror he put red team thru every time purgatory gets brought up... something about how proud dapper was of him.

like this is just my late-night read but- it feels like guilt qbad is trying to twist into pride. he keeps needling away at it. “i killed them all, over and over and over again.” “they were hunted by a monster.”

it’s like- reassurance. like a nail he’s trying o beat into his head. he’s had SO much trouble with legitimately hurting his friends, despite making that vow all the way back when the eggs first went missing, despite all the tree talk and the promises to save the kids no matter what. He never faltered with elq, and that protected them. He keeps faltering now. Sometimes he doesnt remember the code, or cucurucho, or skeppy. But that doesnt matter, right? Because he’ll protect the eggs. He’ll be the monster. he is the monster. he can and he will protect them even as his seams start ripping and he keeps breaking further and further apart. even at his worst, he’ll do whatever he needs to protect the eggs.

he’ll be the monster. wont he?

#qsmp #he loves his friends and he wants to hurt them #he loves his friends and he doesnt want to hurt them #qsmp badboyhalo #ita like. He was torturing himself with the soul vultures because he kidnapped ron and threw down some scary magma mobs #and then forever changwd rhe whole fuckin narrative with that appreciation room and bad remembered the joy of community #and then cellbit. Where bad was like ‘i see him destroying himself to get the eggs back and i know where that road goes’ #’his loved ones dont want that to happen to him. i dont want that to happen to him’ #and then purgatory gave him the first actal legitimate lead for finding their kids and he just had to get worse #and so he fucking swandived into self destructive violence (and the cc was purposefully playing qbad more recklessly violent) #(bbgirl couldve been lured into a trap so so easily) #ive lost my point somewhere now im just rotating qbbh in my brain and all the parallels #ah yes. But now theyre out of purgatory. And he refuses to regret what he did because he *had* to do what he could to save dapper #and the other eggs #because he has a huge complex about being the ‘only one who can protect the eggs’ because of a thousand little cuts and his mental health #issues. Like he’s Wrong bur its such a fascinating little direction for his character. Yes king burn thyself on the pure of protection #and then burn in a nuclear blast too because your self sufficiency left you to care for your egg alone #you can take care of the eggs. you can hurt your friends. look at how much you hurt your friends #look st the monster you are . your teeth are sharp and your claws are large #never mind that time you sent tina into a panic attack because you tried to recreate safety #never mind that your friends and family are worried about you #you are falling apart. but so many monsters survive the killing blow

[tj-crochets]

so in the past I have made themed gifts for people who have helped me* and it's been a little weird but like. Understandable to the person I am gifting the thing to weird? My current problem is that I want to make something for my endocrinologist because he has improved my quality of life hugely** but endocrinology doesn't have an easily themed gift and my endocrinologist reminds me very very strongly of like a sad greyhound or a whippet but I cannot explain to this very nice, very normal man that "hey I made you a plushie of a dog because I wanted to thank you for the steroids and you remind me of a dog. In a good way!" *like teeth plushies for the dentist who helped me figure out I have to have dental anesthetic without epinephrine in it, or a chicken plushie for the people at the chicken restaurant that went the extra mile to get their ingredients list that were the reason I figured out I'm allergic to coconut **I had what would have been a severe allergic reaction and it wasn't pleasant but I didn't end up in the hospital and I didn't take like a week minimum to recover and

#the person behind the yarn #I realize this is a problem of my own making #and that I very much do not need to make my endocrinologist anything #but it's such a HUGE difference in my life #he really does have like sad dog energy idk how to describe it #he wears very nice flannel shirts that I am slightly envious of because I'd never seen a blue and orange flannel before #and is like somehow even more obviously unthreatening than I am #like. I have PTSD. Had PTSD? Have? Not sure how to word that #I have worked through most of my major PTSD triggers but one thing that still gets me is people touching my neck #to the point where I have like flinched off the medical bed darted across the room kinda avoidance in previous medical appointments #I can mostly manage to sit still and let doctors touch my neck if I see it coming but I always flinch and I always hate it #and this guy is so incredibly unthreatening I didn't flinch at all and didn't even notice it was weird I didn't react negatively #until after I'd left his office #I am also (usually) seen as very unthreatening but mine is something I worked on deliberately for a while #(when I was working with toddlers) and also is made easier by the fact that I am very short and look younger than I am #idk how to describe how much this dude reminds me of a greyhound. WAIT NO he reminds me of a borzoi! #the wizard version of a greyhound