#he is not the only character who does this and especially not in awakening

[virahaus]

Another day, another fantastic time to debunk completely delulu takes I've seen around. This one actually baffles me on a whole new level, and that people are ACTUALLY thinking it is canon it's giving me a headache.

Why, yes, on that nutter house that is twitterX (and here too unfortunately) people are now claiming that Eddie was Buck's Bi awakening in 2x01 in place of Oliver's recent interview.

First of all shall we look at the definition of Bi awakening, shall we?

"When someone, who thought or assumed they're straight, develops a crush on someone of the same gender and leads to them wondering if they are bisexual."

The key thing here is the realisation. You cannot have a bi awakening without having a moment where you are like "do I like the same gender too? Am I not straight? Am I bisexual?"

Which is EXACTLY what is happening on 7x04 and 7x05 with Buck exploring his feelings for Tommy before AND after the kiss.

There's NO bi awakening on 2x01 because Buck doesn't question in behaviour!! He doesn't have any moment where he considers his animosity about Eddie as anything more than intense dislike, jealousy and fear of being replaced.

Some of you are taking things too far. You are purposefully trying to ERASE actual canon content about a beloved character's bi awakening (something huge, especially with a 30 y/o character) just because you cannot stop for a second and not insert Buddie everywhere you like, even going as far as completely invalidating Buck's journey.

I'm not denying that in retrospect Buck may have found Eddie attractive (Oliver confirmed this as a strong possibility, yes, but that doesn't equal realisation since Oliver also acknowledged that Buck does not look any farther on his feelings on Eddie than interpreting them as personal jealousy).

But canonically Buck's bi awakening is Tommy.

You may not like it, you may not ship it, but you can't behave like this. Headcanons are all well and good, but presenting them as gospel and canon content? Y'all need to take a deep breath and actually get off the internet for a while.

This behaviour is only going to hurt the fandom in the long term. And it is not the first time or the first instance where you take something Oliver said in interviews and completely misinterpret it to suit your pipeline. Try some critical thinking, y'all.

(I'm aware not everyone is thinking like this, but those types of posts are getting over one thousand likes each. At this point it is a fandom problem.)

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #bucktommy #buddie #911 abc #911 fandom #911 #911 show #911 season 7 #911 s7 #evan buck buckely #my post #yes I'm tagging it buddie. i do not care. y'all need to actually think things through before spreading misinformation #tevan #kinley #bisexuality #bi awakening #lgbtqia

[sieglinde-freud]

hd line of all time

#ann plays awakening #i hate his ass so bad #so so bad #i really enjoy him talking like a normal ass guy in modern 21st century dialects tho like it is incredibly funny to me #he is not the only character who does this and especially not in awakening #but i dunno. love seeing him talk to characters like straight luci and inigo just drops a loud FUCK when he sees an any or smthn. ykwim #ant****

[aanglican]

uncle iroh is treated very much like a paragon of virtue in the series. yes we know he has had a violent past, that he has done terrible things, committed atrocities in the service of the fire nation— but we don’t really feel it because all of that had happened off screen and prior to the series. instead, he comes to us as a more perfect being and one deified with secret good deeds revealed throughout the story: uncle iroh is the keeper of the dragons and an important member of the white lotus, he is just that awesome.

uncle iroh is so divorced from his immediate past that we don’t see him haunted by any of it unless it’s by lu ten— which begs the question: did he really turn his back on the fire nation due to a moral awakening or was it only/mostly for his own good? he certainly doesn’t behave in a manner you’d expect from a repentant ex-imperialist: he’s not too worried about walking the streets of ba singe se, let alone actually staying there after the war ended. (the same war he participated in on the side of the aggressors, mind you.) he is shameless enough to be living there while hiding away and was unscrupulous in accepting hospitality from earth kingdom folks who were made refugees by the fire nation, i.e., song’s family. does he not feel guilty or at least uncomfortable with his circumstances, especially since it has only been 5 or so years since the siege at ba sing se and thus still very fresh in the grand scheme of things? is iroh just that Enlightened and At Peace with his past that it doesn’t color his every movement? or is his lack of a moral hangover just a writing oversight? were they scared to make their most lovable character in a rated TV-Y7 cartoon a tad more polarizing?

while uncle iroh does his job well for the story— that is, to act as zuko’s guiding light— i do wish he were knocked off his pedestal a bit more. uncle iroh is, after all, the proto-zuko to ozai’s proto-azula. i wish to see him at least slightly paranoid about people recognizing him from his military days and vice versa. i wish to see him uneasy about being in the earth kingdom (out of guilt? as opposed to zuko’s superiority complex and anger). i wish to see him meet another person who also has visible burn scars, one that has nothing to do with zuko/his family, and still look away in shame or disgust by the implications. et cetera et cetera. anything to indicate he feels something more about himself and other people that isn’t just Wise Old Man.

#mytext #uncle iroh #atla #fire nation #fnrf

[jade-len]

so today i tricked my very straight male friend into reading svsss.

okay look, i wasn't planning to at first and it's not like it was completely my fault. he wanted to read it!

i was showing him how badly they fucked up mu qingfang in the donghua by comparing it to the english novel design (he said that mu qingfang went from looking like a soft dilf to a predator registered on the epstein island list). and then, i showed him how different some of the other character designs were like gongyi xiao's ("he looks like he'd be a genshin character" -friend, to eng novel design) and luo binghe's ("lowkey, he kinda gives airbender vibes" -friend, to bunhe eng novel design)

so that was all i was gonna show him, nothing else. but after seeing them, he goes, "these designs actually look hella cool. what's the book called?"

now, do i:

A. tell him the name, eventually revealing that it's a danmei when he looks it up?

B. just straight up tell him that it's a danmei?

C: don't tell him the name just yet, spill the summary, get him interested, and tell him to not search anything up about it because there's heavy spoilers and it will reveal them the moment he types it up on the search bar

i go with C, obviously.

me: so, basically, some guy named shen yuan transmigrates into an incel harem male power fantasy novel where the protagonist, luo binghe, has hundreds of wives. thing is though, the guy pretty much took over the body of binghe's teacher he had when he was a teenager, who turns out to be a really scummy dude. and now he has to be nice to him so that the protagonist doesn't rip off his limbs and put him into a pickle pot in the future to suffer for eternity.

friend: that sounds hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

me: yes it is, and you should read it. it's like. my favorite novel at the moment. but don't search up anything about it because people spoil that shit. i'll let you borrow my novel

friend: nah don't worry, i'll just pirate it

friend: wait. does it have pictures?

me, my plan coming together: yeah, it has pictures. buuut, when you pirate it, it doesn't. trust me dude, i tried and was severely disappointed. plus, the physical copy is so much better

friend: fuck yeah ok thanks

me: hold on though. i'll text you later to see if my friend who's borrowing it rn is done reading it

he's hyped. he's excited. he craves a good book and a good transmigration interpretation. he's especially happy about the fact that it takes place in a chinese setting with cool powers and an actual good main character. "this sounds so good, god i wanna read it so bad."

i tell him that binghe is actually adorable, too. that it's pretty much found family! my friend then asks if shen yuan adopts him and becomes a father figure or something.

and i said "yes". you know, like a liar. (the father figure part probably isn't a lie though)

now i'm gonna give him the novel tomorrow! of course, i'm gonna cover the chapter 2 bunhe sexual awakening scene with washi tape and say that my baby cousin (sorry baby cousin, you would never <\3) scribbled all over that paragraph with her markers, and since i'm a neat book freak, i put washi tape and just wrote the scene! i don't know if that's really all too believable, but he didn't seem to care that much. just a simple "if my baby cousin did that to my book i would punt them into the sun"

i think what'll be more hilarious is the fact that you can't really tell that svsss is a BL. especially not volume 1. there's like, only a few lines indicating, but if you remove the baby binghe sexual awakening scene then you probably won't be able to know (...if you don't really read romance or anything. idk he's kinda dense anyways). so let's hope he gets attached and has a slow descent into the homo before i drop svsss vol 2 on him!

ok anyways i'll update you guys later with a reblog. maybe in about two or three days lol

(also don't worry, we already fuck around with each other on a daily basis like this. he's already tricked me into reading some manga i was unprepared for, and i thought that it'd be funny to mess around with him using svsss this time lol)

#greatest prank ive ever donee i think #manipulation 100 fr #absolute tomfoolery #am i a bad friend for this? perhaps. is it hilarious? definitely. #this is truly the most moment of all time #svsss #mxtx svsss #the scum villain's self saving system #luo binghe #luo bingmei #shen qingqiu #shen yuan

[princessbrunette]

he didn’t expect an attitude at first. not from deer!reader, it would be too out of character.

he awakens to the sound of a voice that isn’t yours, seemingly playing from your phone. it wasn’t rare that you’d wake up before him and entertain yourself until he’s awake, whether that be reading or listening to one of your bizarre podcasts. today, you had clearly chosen the latter and as he comes into consciousness he’s met with the droning voice that relays the information.

‘so what psychological effects does cannibalism have on a human being? well that all depends on whether or not the participant was willingly—’

pope frowns, tuning out of the morbid details and yawns, body tensing up with a long stretch as he wakes himself up. with a gentle smile on his face, happy to have slept by your side for the first time all week — his eyes flutter open, seeing you sat up facing away from him in the bed, concentrated on the information being relayed to you.

usually, as soon as you hear him stir you’re all over him, softly rousing him from his slumber with kisses all over his cheeks, your eyelashes tickling him and getting him to chuckle. whilst you not bothering with this could have been a first sign pointing to your mood, pope was too disorientated with sleep to think anything of it, and simply reached out to touch the soft skin of your back.

“hey, good morning.” he coo’s, voice still raspy from sleep.

“mm.” you hum in response, and he puts it down to you being super concentrated on your podcast. infact, at the time he found it adorable.

once he’s up and ready, it’s then he notices that you’re even quieter than usual. when you speak, your answers are short and dare he say even snappy. he gives it time, trusting you to tell him what was wrong when you were ready. lack of communication hadn’t really been a problem in your relationship, considering you were typically well behaved 100% of the time — so still, your boyfriend wasn’t worried.

after a chillingly quiet breakfast, the boy starts to gather his things, and suddenly — you’re a lot more talkative.

“where are you going now?” you hover, watching him dig through his pockets to find his keys.

“jj texted me and his boat won’t start. apparently i’m the only person with common sense who knows how to fix it.” he rolls his eyes before locating the jangly set of keys. “bingo.” he praises himself quietly. you continue staring, a clear expression of disappointment and bewilderment worn on your face. he does a double take as the two of you stand on the pier, slowing his movements. “oh, i’ll be back though. real quick.” he promises, which doesn’t make it any better — especially when he’d said that earlier in the week and then disappeared the entire day. you let pettiness get the better of you.

“oh, i’m sure you will.” you scoff, staring down at the brown sandals on your feet. there’s a silence as he freezes, and you don’t look at him. sarcasm. now that really wasn’t like you.

“is…there something going on here?” he questions cautiously, slowly approaching you where you stand.

“i don’t know pope, is there? is there a reason you just don’t wanna hang out with me lately? am i that much of a bore?” you snap, and his eyes widen. you weren’t even good at having an attitude with him, eyes filling with tears. you know it’s been out of his control, the group needed him and he couldn’t let them down — but that didn’t stop you from feeling second bested.

“okay. where has this come from?” he furrows his brows and you hang your head in shame. he steps closer, placing two hands on your cheeks to get you to look at him. the mixture of his close proximity and the physical affection instantly calms you a little, and you realise that perhaps that’s all you’d been craving.

“i don’t know.” is all you manage and he shakes his head.

“i know i’ve been gone, okay. but… you know how the pogues are. i couldn’t leave them hanging. i’m yours for the rest of the week, i literally swear.” he convinces and you sigh out your nose, nodding.

“i’m sorry.” you admit quietly and he strokes your cheeks thoughtfully.

“is that why you had a little attitude today? you know you can just talk to me. i wouldn’t dismiss you.” he’s being so kind, and you just feel dreadful for being such a nightmare. craving his touch, you place your hands over his.

“can i just… have a hug please? i think i need one.” you communicate shakily and he breathes out a quiet laugh of relief, his brows still knitted.

“of course you can. you really don’t have to ask.” he pulls you in, strong arms squeezing you tight the way you needed, the compression helping you regulate your mismatched emotions the way he knew helped you. “and you can come with me to see jj. don’t just assume i’d neglect you.” he smiles, stepping back before holding out his hand. “coming?”

you take it, and he doesn’t bring it up again.

#pope heyward prompt #deer!reader #this is trash but!!!!!!!!!

[theminecraftbee]

finalized smallishsona au party, in true join order:

grian, justice. his persona is signy, and his weapon is a naginata. he's an all-arounder who gets both physical and magical attacks, with a focus on dark and light magic (eiha/kouha damaging skills and mudo/hama instakill skills alike). technically the earliest member of the team, also one of the three starter members of the team when joel joins. he has been doing this the longest out of anyone, and sometimes, it shows in ways that aren't so great.

scar, magician. his persona is majnun, and his weapon is bows. a magic and ailment-based attacker, but he gets healing and support skills in his moveset as well (that, story-wise, he focused on due to him and grian being the only two persona wielders for a while, and scar's persona being the only one suited for them). his element is wind/garu. acts as the early-game healer until joel gets better options, then settles into massive magic damage and ailments.

joel, wildcard/fool. he has many personas and roles, but his starting persona is pygmalion, who is associated with ice/bufu. his weapon is knives. his role in the party is to be everything for everyone all the time. no this doesn't say anything about him. shut up.

skizz, chariot. his persona is enkidu, and his weapon is brass knuckles. a heavy physical attacker through-and-through, the fact that his attacks cut his own hp to deal damage is unfortunately fitting for his character. what little magic he gets is fire/agi, but like, he's the party member that learns charge naturally, you will not be using those unless you have to knock over some guy's weakness and joel forgot to bring a persona to cover it. while his rescue and awakening happens before joel starts exploring Altered Space, it takes a little bit for skizz to join, as unlike joel, using his persona does not come naturally to him. also is the earlier members to get various buff skills.

mumbo, moon. his persona is ariadne, and he is the navigator. for those unfamiliar, the navigator does not enter battle with the rest of the party, but DOES have the ability to help buff the party, scan enemies for weaknesses, and do other helpful things to help the team, well, navigate. giving a man with anxiety an all-seeing web probably can't hurt anything, right? in my head he functions as a cross between fuuta's very useful scan and various dungeon skills (like the escape one), and futaba's very useful in-battle buffs.

impulse, emperor. his persona is siegfried, and his weapon is axes. he's the TRUE party healer who gets stuff like me patra (heals the party of any status effects), samerecarm (revives someone with full health), and mediarahan (heals the party to full health) as his persona gets to higher levels. he also picks up electric/zio skills for decent damage (although he doesn't have scar's magic stat and is very much built to heal most of the turns he's around). it probably says something about him that he gets healing skills once he truly awakens his persona, especially given skizz. while he's aware of his persona from the start of the plot, it takes until a bit of a ways into the plot for him to truly awaken to it. also, because this is an au and not an actual game, i can get away with the most effective party healer joining this late. any other persona game, he'd be one of the earliest members. for obvious reasons. (and the fact scar is their most effective healer for a long while is. DEFINITELY a plot point here.)

gem, empress. her persona is atalanta, and her weapon is swords. she's a late-game powerhouse type build, with powerful bufu/ice magic in combination with almighty/untyped magic damage. she can show up and cast megioladon on the shadows' asses, is what i'm saying. she also gets the debuff and buff skills that aren't already scattered across the existing party members, but unlike scar, she doesn't get concentrate, so she's not the PERFECT damage-dealer here. as one of the two party members who hasn't been directly tied into this plot from the beginning, it's possible she has her own motivations and things going on that the rest of the party doesn't know behind her awakening. but that would just be silly, right...?

#smallishsona au #yes i know i already have this masterpost but i want everything in ONE PLACE #especially since i plan on making a real masterpost for this au soon #also I changed impulse from odette to siegfried here #which keeps the swan lake thing but fits him SLIGHTLY better into emperor as an arcana #these are PROBABLY the finalized first-stage personas. luckily I don’t have to know their ultimates yet! lol. #I should also probably decide each of their weaknesses it strikes me. #OH WELL. WILL DO THAT LATER AND ADD IT TO THIS.

[22ayla19]

From the author: This was a request from one user, but I lost his nickname... I'm sorry...

Headcanons with Kayden Break

● Kayden has a very specific personality. Becoming his girlfriend seems like luck is on your side, but it doesn’t seem to be the case. Knowing his ardent character, for Kayden the main thing in a partner is the opposite that could balance him, otherwise calling him violent is putting it mildly;

● The relationship with him could have started a very long time ago. You simply could have been childhood friends or simply opponents, after the battle, on the contrary, you became friends and began to further improve your abilities. It’s just that Kayden came to your house so often, slept with you, had dinner, trained with you that it became commonplace and you got used to this situation;

● Teasing, or making fun of Kayden is also allowed. No matter how much he needs the opposite of his character, he still wants excitement in a relationship. Most of the time he is the one who jokes and teases, but when you, too, are in the mood, he just burns inside from the thrill that you are insolent to him. And this usually ends with him simply dragging you to the bedroom for more adult matters;

● It will be important for Kayden to know that you can stand up for yourself, defend yourself when he is not around. Over all his years, he has made enough enemies for himself, and although the awakened world does not know about you as Kaidan’s girlfriend, there will be those who will find out the slightest information about him to use against him. It is important for Kaidan to know that you can defend yourself if something happens, he will always come to the rescue if his intervention requires it, but since you are his girlfriend, it means you must be on the same level as him;

● Being Kayden’s girlfriend means becoming an unexpected cat person and also becoming a mentor and practically the older sister of Ji Woo. Kayden in the body of a cat is an addition to your relationship, especially if you love cats and are not allergic to them. Plus a bonus in the form of your boyfriend’s kind and sweet student, who admires you so much that perhaps your and Kayden’s self-esteem has skyrocketed;

● Jealousy? Perhaps only to other cats and Ji Woo. A strange combination, of course, but it’s true. Kaidan gets jealous when you pay attention to other cats instead of him, or when you spend time with Ji Woo often, even if it's not training. At such moments, Kaiden thinks that his girlfriend was stolen by cats and his student, which in some cases is true, no matter how strange it may sound. In return, you compensate for this jealousy by spending quality time with my boyfriend;

● It’s not that Kayden doesn’t intend to marry you, it’s just that you already live as a married couple (though secretly, from the world of the awakened), so there’s simply no need to marry, and he’s unlikely to want to have a wedding, although he’ll think about buying a ring for your ring finger so other men know you're busy. There seems to be no need to talk about children. Yes, he gets along with Ji Woo, but if you give birth to a baby with abilities like Kaidan’s and his own character, it’s unlikely that the world of the awakened can stand it. They can barely tolerate Kayden alone, and then there is a daughter or son, who is his second copy, I’m afraid to imagine how the top 10 will react to such news. And Kayden himself said that he wouldn’t be very good at raising a child, so you don’t raise the topic of children. As a last resort, say that you will adopt Ji Woo.

#eleceed x reader #eleceed #kayden break #kayden break x reader

[trillscienceofficer]

Re: your tags about Seven being made into a mother to the Borg children. It's always been bothering me so much! An older sister is what I've been thinking of her as instead. Even with Icheb who was a late teenager/almost adult and Seven was 26ish?

It's always bothered me a lot too! I distinctly remember being very indignant about how Voyager framed the Borg children in relation to Seven even the first time I watched the show. I take exception in particular to the very obvious expectation from the rest of the crew that Seven would become their primary caretaker instead of, you know, a shared responsibility of the whole ship. Of course the crew is only a family until we can shove a woman in the role of “nurturing mother”, then all responsibilities are automatically fulfilled—then again it's what families actually do to women in real life so I guess that tracks.

And the Borg kids are not even the first offenders! There's One in “Drone” for whom Seven is also asked to do the same thing, and sometimes the show does this with Naomi too, when the writers forgot that Naomi had an actual mother already. Thankfully I think Naomi and Seven mostly escape this paradigm, but it's telling that it happens over and over, that Voyager is so insistent in making Seven a caretaker this way and especially that she would not need any support while she learns to be one, framing it as an “motherly instinct” that she just needs to awaken. It's infuriating.

This is all the more ridiculous, like you say, between Seven and Icheb because she's not that much older than him and he's already a teenager on Voyager, so imagine how great it was for me to hear their rapport once again shoved into a mother/son mold on Star Trek: Picard. I was actually talking about this with @directedbygatesmcfadden earlier, I cannot help but see this trend as a complete failure of imagination when it comes to writing women. Can women not be mentors? Does caretaking have to mean motherhood when a woman does it? The fact that Voyager and Picard don't seem to be able to even ask those question for a character like Seven of Nine is... I don't even know what to say. It's bleak, man. Honestly, I wish the fandom resisted the idea of Seven as a “mother” more often.

#askbox #seven of nine #at least the shows are pretty consistent in showing how bad seven is in that role

[aromanticbuck]

The way so many people within the fandom are reacting to Buck being canonically queer (bisexual, specifically, according to Oliver) is making me so uncomfortable

I made a post about it last night, but Buck being attracted to men isn't about anyone else. This is about Buck and only Buck. And making it about another character - namely, I'm seeing people make it about Eddie and Hen - is such a disservice to Buck as a character and Oliver's clear excitement to portray this storyline.

Buck being attracted to a man other than Eddie is canon. Buck being attracted to men is canon. We have a storyline involving a man in his 30s having a self discovery arc. Whether you believe his attraction to Tommy is genuine or not, the way I've seen people talking about it is so... Not believing someone can be attracted to someone because they must actually be attracted to this other person instead is biphobic rhetoric.

Being excited for this storyline and not acknowledging all of the other representation in this show in the same breath is not "forgetting Hen" or "erasing her" or "ignoring her marriage to Karen." Yes, Hen and Karen have been there the entire time. No one is saying there wasn't any queer representation in this show before. We're simply excited to see a grown man having a bisexual awakening in real time after headcanoning it for years. Don't tell people they're ignoring or erasing another character because they're talking about an arc that doesn't have anything to do with that character. Pulling attention away from a bisexual storyline in favor of other representation is biphobic.

A lot of people are also talking about Buck coming out as if it's going to happen in the next episode. Stop it. If Buck does not feel comfortable coming out to anyone (he looks clearly uncomfortable in the promo for next week when Eddie shows up during his first date with Tommy) then he does not have to. There is nothing that says Buck has to come out within a certain timeline. In fact, considering how short this season is, it wouldn't even be surprising or unreasonable for him to not come out until the end of the season or even in season 8. Talking about that like he's "lying to Eddie" by not coming out is queerphobic. He's allowed to not be ready for that, no matter who he's surrounded himself with.

Yeah, Buck is a fictional character, Oliver doesn't have a Tumblr and won't see any of what you're saying. But, to use a cliché, all of your bisexual friends and followers (especially those who don't watch the show and therefore have almost no context) will see it.

And yes, even if you yourself are bisexual, this is still biphobic rhetoric. These are arguments that people used against bisexuals all the time.

Insisting that he's not actually attracted to Tommy because he's secretly in love with Eddie is pick a side rhetoric.

"Reminding" people of Hen and Karen when they're celebrating furthers the idea that bisexuals aren't "queer enough" to deserve celebration.

Saying a character "gets to" be out is shaming people who are still closeted.

Buck's storyline is about Buck. It's not about Tommy. It's not about Eddie. It's not about Hen. It's. About. Buck.

#alex says things #911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #hen wilson #911 spoilers #buddie #bucktommy #stop being biphobic about the bi character istg #i've already had to mute the tag of my otp #because y'all don't know how to fucking behave

[siriusly-parker]

—random lightning era headcanons, hp.

ʚ author’s note: these are MY personal headcanons. you don’t have to like them, but maybe you will. also- i KNOW mattheo and enzo are not even canon and that theo is hardly even mentioned but i thought it’d be cute to add them. mainly theo cause i love fanon theo (sometimes). ꜝꜞ

ron is super mega tall, taller than the twins. maybe even taller than bill.

harry is of average height but looks like a short king besides ron.

theo is basically a grumpy old man in the body of a teenage heartthrob.

blaise is just a sweetheart. fr the bestest friend.

draco can’t read in between the lines. he’s book smart but when it comes to people and social interactions he can be pretty stupid. you can’t just give him a hint, he won’t get it.

hermione actually really liked krum.

harry actually attended theo’s mother’s funeral. (they were on somewhat friendly terms after having to team up for an assignment.)

ginny likes girls. dean likes seamus. both knew.

draco, mattheo and enzo (along with crab and goyle) are more of the bullies of the group.

angelina and george are part of a tutoring program and tutor younger students. though he’s really good in potions, george only does it to spend time with her.

ron secretly tries to read muggle books to impress hermione.

mattheo is just plain rude with anger issues. he pretty much hates everyone.

theo is just more of an introvert so he doesn’t really feel the need to talk to everyone, let alone bully them.

blaise is not very smart but he really tries his best and studies a lot. he also reminds (or forces) the others to study as well.

in her firsts years at hogwarts, pansy was mostly a bitch and a bully (to impress malfoy), but blaise became a good influence and she learned to mind her own business a bit more.

ron had ALWAYS had a crush on hermione. he just didn’t want to.

neville had a secret girlfriend around year 3-4 and they’d always meet in the herbology greenhouse.

oliver suffers from insomnia which sometimes leads to him being rude during morning practices and even having anger outbursts towards his last hogwarts years.

fred is really really good with kids while george just doesn’t really know what to do with them.

cedric has dyslexia and really finds it difficult and discouraging to read and study. cho and harry are one of the few who know and help him with homework.

luna randomly takes walks in the forbidden forest. she finds it peaceful.

mattheo is naturally really smart. he never studies and always gets good grades. he’s kind of a dick about it.

seamus has ADHD and had a mild ODD as a child

cho is extremely interested in politics and even founded a secret debate club at hogwarts.

dean is the only one who knows about seamus’ breakdowns and the only one who truly knows how to help him.

angelina is really popular. there is nothing to hate about her. she is beautiful and kind and especially good at quidditch.

krum was really bummed out to leave hogwarts. he was actually liking it there. mainly the people. mainly hermione. just hermione tbh.

spending summer ‘94 with hermione was ginny’s gay awakening confirmation.

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꩜ i siriusly love you <3

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[uglypastels]

Not Wholly Evil |VIII| pirate!Eddie au

a/n - this was a struggle for me, so I have no idea how I managed to get this done so quickly. most likely due to all the fucking amazing support yall have given me, especially over the previous chapter. holy shit i could not ask for anything better <3 thank you

Series Masterlist

word count: 8.2k

"semi dark fic" - READ the warnings:. (gun/sword)violence. blood. mention of severe wounds. minor character death. allusions to suicide. kidnapping. imprisonment. alcohol. open and deep sea. near death experiences in water. pirates are pigs: mentions of non-con, but it does not actually occur. malnourishment and weight loss. paranoia. mention of poisoning. abuse. manhandling. lying. mentions of sex work.

Chapter 8: Earthshine

“It took a special kind of madness to try to be a pirate and a good man at the same time.”

― Matt Myklusch, The Lost Prince

The ghost of her hand lingered with a sting over his cheek. The impact awakened him from a dream, but the kiss dragged him back. He was simply hanging there as if from a rope, ready to fall but anytime his body was prepared to hit the ground, a force pulled at him even harder and up and down his soul went. They both tasted of salt water and rum, yet she tasted sweeter, but perhaps “intoxicating” was a better word for it. His head was spinning at the sensation of her touch. He was stuck in a whirlwind, and her lips kept him anchored to the ground. 

Eddie let his hands fall to her hips, closing the cap between them. Her hand, which had marked his face moments before, now rested gently against his chest, nails digging into the material of his shirt. 

How long had he felt the need for this; for her? It was impossible to tell how deep within himself it had come from and how hard he had fought to erase it before, but there was no need to hide it now. The window was only so small, and who knows what would happen once closed. So, Eddie ensured everything he meant with that kiss reached her. No two human beings had ever been closer, tied together by something between them.

It was a heat, a hunger, growing larger by the second. A beast ready to devour everything in its path if not tamed. They might have stopped it if they had been aware of it. Perhaps not. Perhaps it was what they wanted all along.

His hands, steady on her, began to migrate over her hips, down her thighs, on her back. Her hand, meanwhile, trembled as it returned to its place on his cheek. The gentleness of her touch sent sparks through him, a feeling he had not encountered in a very long time and had never imagined to feel again. A kiss so simple and yet…

It was angry, wild, passionate, bold and forceful.

It was him and her. 

It was them. 

It could not have lasted longer than a few seconds, but it could have been a lifetime. He didn’t want it to end, ignoring that it eventually had to. Eddie would happily ignore the scream in his lungs to stay like this, but for once, he decided not to act selfishly. 

They still had eachother in their holds when he took the first breath. There was an interval when he opened his eyes, waiting for her to do the same. He saw how she breathed in his presence and let it sink into her. Then, when she finally opened her eyes, they were the brightest he had ever seen them be. Vibrant with life, stained with tears. Eddie had to compose himself not to show the pain it caused him to see her like that—something he had grown quite an expert in over the past few days. 

But what about the new pain that stung him when she stepped back, and her hand reached for her mouth in shock at what they had just done? He had a brief instinct to follow her and close that gap again, but instead, he doubled their distance. The same question rang through him, however.

What had they done? What did he do? The latter of the questions seemed to be a constantly more frequent thought of his since he had met her. Whatever he did, implied or not, always seemed to be the wrong choice. It constantly only led him deeper into a pit, and with each choice, the possibility of ever climbing out seemed less and less likely. To think that none of this was even supposed to happen. He should have kept his distance from the beginning, should have kept her away, but like any man, he was weak regarding his feelings. 

Was that what this was? Feelings? If asked, many would say he did not possess these. She would be one of them, and twistedly, it made him want to laugh.

He didn’t—laugh, move, or say anything. Neither did she. They looked at eachother, the two-step distance never seeming so great as it did in that moment. There was so much Eddie had wanted to say, to apologise for, and his lips were ready to speak with a light parting when the world returned to them with a slam to the door. With a blink, everything around them became that much more real, and there was no time to process anything. Whoever was on the other side of the door was becoming impatient, slamming their hand harder and harder, making the entire wall shake.

 ‘Come in!’ Eddie hated that the first words that came out of his mouth were this aggressive or that he couldn’t take his eyes away from her and, therefore, could see how she didn’t falter. Two pairs of eyes were locked into place. Only when the door opened to the sight of Harrington, drenched to the bone, did they move. 

Steve’s eyes wavered between them. How obvious was what had just occurred? Eddie felt like he was glowing, set on fire and burning bright. Was it guilt, embarrassment, pride or all of the above? 

Then all three of them stood motionless, observing the others, trying to read each other’s minds in this situation. 

Harrington was the one to break the silence, clearing his throat nervously like he knew his presence in the room was much unwished at that moment. ‘We’ll be arriving on Saint Claire shortly, cap.’

It cost Eddie longer than it should have to find a response, and the words he did come up with were sparse in meaning.

‘Right, yes, of course.’ He began to make his way over to the door when he stopped and turned to look her way, extending the passage with his arm. ‘After you.’

‘What?’ She looked at him in confusion. The one word sounded as if his suggestion was an offence, making Eddie feel hot in the neck. He was losing his grip on things, and this lack of control made his stomach twist. 

‘You are more than welcome to stay aboard, princess.’ Could they tell what he was thinking from the way he moved? Did the slightest twitch in his face or the scratch of his nose give away all his thoughts and insecurities? If so, neither of them did anything. Eddie waited for her to say something, reply with one of her usual snide remarks and try to argue with him. If she had done so, he honestly could not think of how to respond to it. How much longer could they keep performing this little charade? Especially after what had just happened. It was not as if he had planned for things to turn out as they had, but there was hope that some changes might take place between them now. 

Her response came in no shape of words but by her walking past Eddie and Steve, avoiding their bodies swiftly. Eddie followed suit, keeping some distance between her and himself, but Steve kept him up with one foot on the threshold.

‘Hey, you alright?’ He asked in a whisper, not wanting anyone to hear and with his hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

‘It’s fine,’ Eddie shrugged him off. He glanced at the deck to see her standing against one of the masts, looking out at the island ahead. Eddie had not considered the gloom that the storm would bring over it.

‘What happened to your cheek?’ Steve let his chin point out to it, and Eddie immediately regretted his instinct to reach up to his face at the question. What was there to see? He could barely feel the rush from the impact anymore, and when he pulled his hand away, there was no blood, and he doubted a bruise would form, but maybe some redness had started to develop.

‘Nothing,’ he stiffened, dropping his hands quickly.

‘Eddie,’ Steve made another attempt, just to be cut off by his captain.

‘I said nothing, Harrington,’ Eddie pushed his way through. ‘Get back to your post. We’ll be docking soon.’ He walked away but just about heard Steve’s reply that, yeah, he knows. Hopefully, Steve could not hear Eddie’s sigh in relief from the cool rain on his skin. He had not thought that possible after the day's events, but he was slowly cooling down, especially when he met the midnight breeze, which felt good. At least the weather improved, but he still felt his insides twisting and turning like he was caught up in a hurricane. 

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he realised he had nowhere to go. He knew he should stay away from the one place he wanted to be. Again that feeling of lack of control took over him. He felt restless. Hopeless.

Eddie needed to get off this boat. He needed a drink. 

Saint Claire was a small island where people made money through fishing and the constant flow of ships that sailed into its humble harbour. Sailors from all corners of the world supplied the inhabitants with their dire need for food, entertainment and sex. This need resulted in the slow construction of Main Street, which spanned across the eastern coast, filled with taverns, hostels and other required necessities for anyone who might come across it. 

Some called it the Battleground for the amount of broken glass, furniture and other remaining scraps that are always left hanging around after the innumerable amount of fights that break out in the area. The sound of windows or bottles breaking bones was a common melody in the neighbourhood. 

Others called it the Flame, as the light inside the buildings never seemed to go out, no matter the time, pulling in customers like moths to a flame. No matter the time, the night stayed always young. The drinking and singing would not end until the sun rose above the sea, but even then, it was never really over. There was one brief window of peace on the island, somewhere around noon most times, when the ships in the harbour would set sail and make place for the new arrivals, ready for the chaos to start all over again.

For the Hellfire crew, however, Saint Claire was a safe haven. The island saw enough drunken brawls on the daily basis that it did not need to get involved in any of the politics of its neighbouring islands, let alone those further away, and so most shops and those upon it lost their authority the second they stepped a foot on the ground. Because of this, many were under the misconception that the island was a land of no rules, but on the contrary, it ruled under strict self-proclaimed laws, and those who would not abide would pay heavily. One way or another.

This resolved very few arguments between the island’s guests and caused many a fight, but in turn, it resulted in plenty of entertainment for those who happened to walk by or sit next to the fighting parties. Even though Eddie found himself to usually be involved in some capacity, he still found a great sense of enjoyment in it all. He could not read minds, doubted he even wanted to, and had no idea how his crew actually felt about all this, but there had not been any complaints yet in the span of their countless visits to the island.

It had been by pure chance that they had hit the storm while already nearing Saint Claire and that the harbour was just in their reach when things seemed to be tightening down on them. Once the waves had settled and Eddie had made sure that no one had been grievously injured, he made his round on the ship to see what exactly had been damaged. There was the broken barrier on the deck that now gaped out at the sea and was in need of mending. Then something about the angle at which the foremast stood did not sit right with him. It might have been a pre-existing problem or nothing at all, but someone had to check on it before it was too late. Miraculously, the lower deck had barely suffered besides some small leakage that had already been taken care of. In a way, Eddie thought that his office had gotten the worst blow by the small storm that had thrown all his belongings in disarray. He had meant to pick it all up, but how could he clean when she lay in his bed unconsciously. 

The sight of her like that made him sick. She could have listened to just this once, and they could have avoided… all of it, and then he wouldn’t be stuck pacing his ship in the way he was, doing his best to avoid everyone so he could clear his mind—

So, the other reparations would have to wait until the morning. It was late; they were all tired, as the battle against the storm had taken a toll on everyone. There was no use in working deep into the night and possibly making things even worse because of the exhaustion. Instead, they would go into town, drink themselves numb until the sun reappeared, and let the regret of their nocturnal choices set in nicely.

The hellfire sailed into the harbour, and the result of the storm in the town was immediately visible. Already from miles away, Eddie saw how unusually dull it looked. Everyone had gone inside to hide from the rain and wind and boarded up their windows to protect the fragile constructions. But at closer inspection, he saw the slivers of light fighting their way through the blanks and shining out to them like broken beacons.

Their arrival was nothing new, but the comfort of familiarity was missing in Eddie. He had never felt this on edge when stepping down from his ship onto the dock of Saint Claire, never this vigilant. The lack of light brought everything into a different perspective that he did not appreciate. Suddenly every quirk in the empty street seemed to be someone looking for trouble, and every sudden sound must have been a weapon. He kept looking around himself as the crew walked past the darkened buildings. He supposed it didn’t help that he saw at least three ships with royal crests on them, a usual announcement of trouble. But it wasn’t the darkness or the silence that had put his sense on sharp, not even the possibility of encountering any kind of enemy. It was her. Her presence made him that much more aware of all the dangers lurking around.

The reassurance finally came over him when the party reached the last building of the street—The General. It was one of the smallest taverns on the island and usually the least populated one, but nevertheless, it was one of the finest establishments  Edde had ever had the pleasure to visit in his rough lifetime. Walking in front of the rest, he was honoured with the task of opening the door.

As soon as he did so, before he even managed to take one step inside, he felt the wheeze of air pass him by as a bottle hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces at his feet. It could not have been more than an inch away from his ear. 

It was good to be back.

Just like he had expected, there were not many people inside; maybe two tables had been occupied—more than plenty of participants and observants for the fight that was on the verge of starting—when the crew arrived and filled the rest of the seats. Before anything could be said or demanded, a woman walked up, stylishly avoiding the wild limbs being thrown about by the earlier client. The impressive skill at which he had made her way through the room was only enhanced by the way in which she held half a dozen large ale tankards in her arms, all filled to the brim, and not one drop was spilt when she put them down at one of the tables. The party greeted her with a chorus of cheers, grabbing the drinks quicker than Eddie could manage to blink.

The barmaid was still looking down broadly at the few customers she so quickly managed to satisfy when she said, ‘Where is my money, Munson?’ with a matronly smile on her face.

‘Good to see you too, Joyce,’ Eddie leaned back in his chair.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Joyce rolled her eyes, the size of them making the expression that much more prominent to Eddie, and crossed her arms, unimpressed. ‘Spare me the formalities. You owe me, so pay up.’

Eddie had prepared for this exact exchange before he even realised that the Hellfire would make herself seen on the island, so he opted against fighting with the tavern owner and pulled out a leather pouch with a sigh. It jingled loudly at the smallest of movements.

‘There you go.’ He threw it to Joyce, who quickly caught it and immediately opened it to estimate whether the amount was anywhere near the agreed-upon amount. Seeing her do so, Eddie added: ‘Everything’s there, as promised, with enough spare to cover tonight.’

Joyce gave him a look that they would still see about that before looking around at what else the cat dragged into her place. A room filled with hooligans, drenched to the bone, sunk down into their seats, six of them already with their faces covered in her home-brewed ale. But nothing escaped Joyce, and she quickly noticed the newest addition to the party. Immediately, the hostess within Joyce sprung out. ‘Hi there, what I can get you, Honey?’ 

Eddie looked over. Of course, she sat down as far away from him as possible. He hadn’t expected anything less, really. She had found a spot next to Robin, on the opposite side of the room, and had made herself as small as possible among the crew. She gave it a moment before answering Joyce, clearly unsure how to approach the situation, but eventually smiled and simply refused the offer with a kind ‘I’m alright, thank you.’

‘You sure?’ Joyce raised a brow, but it was directed at Eddie, who had just grabbed himself one of the bowls of sunflower seeds. It was one of the reasons he decided to return to this particular tavern as often as he did. Joyce tended to roast them, so sometimes, they would still be warm when Eddie got his hands on them. He was in the middle of cracking one open when Joyce asked her the last question Eddie had wanted to hear here: ‘How’d you get involved with these guys, then?’

‘Rescued her from the pyre?’ Eddie mumbled against the sunflower pit, looking for the next one to eat, hoping his answer would be sufficient. In reality, it only half covered up the truth. 

‘I was taken from my ship.’ 

‘Your ship?’ Joyce pursued, much to Eddie’s dislike. Maybe she wouldn’t say it, but she’d just nod, and the conversation would move on. Either way, he could not interrupt anymore. If he would do so, he knew that Joyce would just shut him down before he even got a word in. 

‘The Red Tail.’ 

Eddie cringed but hoped no one would see it more as he accidentally bit his tongue… which was also the case. He was too occupied cursing everyone out in his mind than to think of the metallic taste pooling in his mouth. He glanced her way, but naturally, she wouldn’t meet his eye.

Did she know the lack of care Saint Claire has for outsiders? Did she expect anyone to ring an alarm bell for her? Or was she simply trying to embarrass Eddie in front of his crew—but maybe it's what he deserved. Still, he did not need his mistakes to be pointed out so blatantly to him, not in front of Joyce, out of all people. 

‘You don’t say,’ Joyce blinked slowly, turning her attention to Eddie, who decided it was best to stick to the bowl of pits for now and not look elsewhere. He did not need to see the way his friend tried to hide her anger. He just heard her say, ‘well, if you need anything, just let me know. And you—’ she spoke out to the rest, much harsher should be noted, ‘better keep it clean in here. Last time it took me four days to scrub up after you, and I will not be doing that again.’

There was an ensemble of mumbled apologies, which included Eddie. In the world, only a limited group of people held the power to make the Hellfire party feel bad for their actions. It was a short list that very recently just added a name to it, but at the top of it was undoubtedly Joyce. Her stance in front of them was enough of a message they had heard before that while she might not start any fights in her house, she could easily be the one to end them. Eddie had witnessed it enough times to know it to be entirely true. 

With one last disappointed look directed at the captain, one that Eddie wished he had missed because it made him feel like a small kid again, Joyce returned to the bar to serve up more drinks.

The first few minutes of the night were spent in exhausting sobriety and sparse conversation, but as more ale and rum was poured, the party livened up. Like usual, the chatter and laughter brought back their much-needed energy and everything that had happened on the boat that day was soon forgotten.

For the most part.

Much to no avail, no matter how many drinks went down his throat and how hard he tried to think about anything else, Eddie held back from the festivities—uncharacteristically so, as was pointed out by several. As much as he had hoped that the alcohol would wash everything away, he felt just as clear-minded as he had that morning when he woke up in the holding cell. At least his back did not hurt anymore. The kink in his neck would just not go away, no matter how hard he tried, but he had only himself to blame for that. 

Whatever he wanted to do that night,  he could not stop thinking about her. His attention kept wavering over to that one side of the room, where things seemed to be a bit calmer but just as enjoyable of a time as the rest was having. Eddie couldn’t tell what she was saying or doing as she had conveniently made sure to turn her back toward him at any given time, but from how relaxed she sat by, it all seemed… fine.

Out of all the things that had and could have happened, Eddie never imagined her sitting at the table with his sort—though he never believed he was that much different from any other man. But how had this happened? When did this happen? It was like the world had suddenly turned upside down, seeing her sit among his friends, his crew, wearing his clothes, talking. Laughing. Almost as if she belonged. 

Almost because he doubted she would consider herself one with the group, he didn’t blame her. This life was no one’s first choice. Certainly not his. And he could not let her fall into it now too. Not that she would, their journey would last no longer than a few more days, and then she’d be back home, and the Hellfire would never have to go near that place again. 

Eddie had really thought that it would be much easier after everything, but the thought of returning there brought a bitter taste into his mouth…or was that just a burned sunflower seed he had just consumed? He spat it out and washed his throat with rum, ignoring most of the things around him as he concentrated on the heavy feeling that the drink brought. 

‘Joyce!’ someone called out, but Eddie was not paying enough attention to notice who. ‘Where is the lute?’ However, the mention of the instrument pulled him out of the haze.

‘ ‘Where it always is!’ Joyce shouted back. The lute hung over their heads on the wall. Already knowing what direction this was going in, Eddie tried to protest. 

‘Can we not do this, gentlemen.’ He was not in any mood for a performance, but that did not matter. The next thing he knew, the strings were pushed into his arms, and everyone awaited with great expectations on what he would play. Eddie hesitated. His fingers were already on the right chords for the wrong song. He knew no one was interested in listening to it, but it was the only one he cared about right then. So, he let his hands flow freely, strumming the notes to be immediately met with disagreement.  

‘Not that one!’ 

‘Play something else!’ 

Right. He thought for a moment but mindlessly hit the strings until something coherent emerged. He didn’t even need to sing himself; the drunken state of his crew allowed them to do most of the work without a fault. He was just there for the show and that he could do. He hummed along as everyone else belted out the words from the heart. It was a silly song they had all come up with one starless night when the waters seemed to have taken them hostage. It was nothing specific, simply a song of monsters that groaned and heroes who overcame their battles without sweat. What they hoped to all be. Maybe one day. 

Playing the strings had always been like second nature to Eddie. He had been able to do it ever since he was a kid, which often brought him comfort. The repetitive motions gave him stability that his life so often lacked, so he focused on that as his eyes lost their focus on her. Had she been watching him? For a moment, he thought he had caught her looking. He must look stupid with this lute in his lap. He much rather preferred a gittern. The hold was more comfortable on that. 

He should have looked away by now. It would only make things worse if she caught him staring the way he was, but she was too occupied. There was so much going on, after all. Some of them had started moving tables around, creating a place to dance. Since when did they dance? Eddie wanted to laugh. Of course, when there was a lady present, when else? 

She tried to object to the invitations but eventually gave in and was pulled into the circle. The shirt was still too big on her, Eddie noticed. She had to keep pulling the sleeve up over her shoulder, and he had to do everything he could to stop thinking about how he wanted to pull it off her. All of it. If she could read minds, which sometimes Eddie genuinely thought she could, he would be a dead man walking. 

But if she could read minds, she must have been too occupied at that moment. Too busy dancing with the rest of the crew. It was similar to a waltz, but since Eddie doubted most of his men had properly rehearsed one in years, it was an awkward two-step at best. Not that it stopped anyone from having fun. She at least looked like she was enjoying herself. Eddie tried to recount if she had, after all, gotten a drink because this could not be the same woman who had been in his chambers earlier that day. Unless he was at fault for this change. 

He only lied to himself, pretending he had not messed with her. It wasn’t supposed to have been like this. Things just kept going wrong, and then he would panic, and the next thing he knew, he locked her in his bloody room for half a night or stabbed her in the ribs.

The sight of her bleeding still came back to him in his nightmares. As if they were not full of memories already, now she was there too. Covered in blood, and all because of him. She would scream until there was a sudden silence, and he’d hold her lifeless frame in his arms… just to wake up and hope that would be the last time his mind conjured the images up. 

It never was. 

Was he still playing? From the dancing around him, Eddie could only assume so. Surely if he had completely frozen up from his thoughts, someone would defrost him from his mental prison. But no one was paying any attention to him, too occupied by her. The way in which she moved freely around the room would put a smile on any man’s face, and Eddie certainly was one of them. How could he not? He should probably have looked away at some point, but he simply could not. And maybe it was for the better that he was so in awe with her, or he would have missed the brief moment when their eyes connected. He doubted she had meant to look his way, but she still had, and he could have sworn that her lips tightened their smile slightly higher, though it could have just been what he had wanted to see. A shadow playing nasty tricks with him. 

Robin, who must have had a few ales too many, was flailing her arms around, singing along drunkenly to the song Eddie played. It usually went exactly like this. Robin would drink, dance and force everyone to join her and “no” was not an acceptable answer in this circumstance. No one could disagree on the matter, not even Harrington, who sat outside the circle.

‘I invite King Steve to the floor,’ Robin demanded. The two women giggled next to each other before Robin went up to Harrington, who was still protesting and pulled him up by the arm. Eddie had to remind himself to keep up the tempo of the song, which was difficult when all he could hear was the blood pumping in his ears at the sight of him coming closer to her—realistically, Robin had pushed them into eachother, but all Eddie saw was the way he held her hand as they danced together. How he wished it could have been him with her. 

He did not know what stung so hard at seeing them together. There was no rational explanation, only the speed at which his heart raised with anger. And for what? He knew Harrington for years. They were like brothers and would sooner choose to die than hurt the other. Eddie could trust him with his life, so why could he not trust him with her? Why did he need to have that trust? What was it that made him lose all control around her? He just wished to understand his own mind.

As they kept dancing, Eddie had to force himself to look away, already feeling the same dark spark that had brought upon a fire that had nearly burned everything down before. All he could do was remind himself of what he had done to control himself. The memory of you lying on the ground, covered in blood that he had spilt. It was a dumb mistake that nearly cost him her life. 

He had never meant to touch her. It had all been a miscalculation of distance, combined with the sheer blindness of his emotions. The worst was he could not even remember lashing out with the sword. One moment he stood there, watching Steve hold her, seeing her laugh at something he had said and the next, she screamed out in pain. He had tried to stop her, wanting to apologise. He had wanted to run after her, but what good would that have done? Eddie couldn’t think straight.

It was Steve that pulled him out of it. 

‘Eddie!’ He had shouted. ‘What were you thinking?’ To which Eddie had no response because, simply, he wasn’t thinking. It took him too long to regain a grip on his mind, and he took one of the bottles that stood next to the dice table. At first, he had just wanted to drink it all, down it in one go, but he thought of her lying there with the wound— it needed to be cleaned. It took everything in him to get down there, knowing he was most likely the last person she would have wanted to see, and that was quickly proven right.

Words failed him in every sense, so he left before he could make it even worse, but the damage had already been done. He returned to his cabin and immediately noticed a difference. He was sure he had removed most of the paper from his desk the night before, yet the ground was spotless.

She had cleaned up for him. 

Eddie screamed out, and his fist hit the side of the wardrobe. Splinters embedded themselves into his skin as he screamed, letting out all the frustrations he felt about himself.

‘What is wrong with you?’ Eddie heard behind him.

‘You’re the last person I want to see right now, Harrington.’ He didn’t turn around to face him, just walked straight to his desk. He noticed the drawer was open, his letter on top of the bottles, but there was too much going on in his mind to be angry at that as well. For now, at least. 

‘Am I to believe you’re angry at me?’ Steve scoffed as he entered the room.

‘What if I am?’

‘Why? Because I stopped her fall? Talked to her? Because you nearly impaled her.’ As far as felonies went, Eddie was taking the crown on that one. He leaned his head down into his lap. 

‘You know I didn’t mean to—’ he cursed. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’ He couldn’t admit to Steve that the sight of them together had struck a nerve. He was supposed to be better than that. Do better. He really thought he was doing better.

He had no idea where his next question came from.

‘Do you like her?’ 

‘Excuse me?’ Steve was taken aback. 

‘Do you like her? Or are you just trying to—’ The idea of Steve taking advantage of her boiled his blood. 

‘You’re going insane, Ed.’ Steve quickly stopped him, speaking as calmly as he could. ‘We both know she’s not just some girl, and I think she deserves better than what we’ve been treating her like. This situation is messed up, but we could try to make her feel better, not like a prisoner. 

‘But if you want me to back off, fine. I’ll let her be. See how that goes, but don’t think about screwing me over when it all blows up in your face.’ He had warned him before walking out again with only one more thing to say. ‘And Munson,’ 

‘What?’ Eddie stopped looking at his hand, which had gone bright red now from the impact of the wardrobe. Steve’s eyes were filled with sadness, exasperation.

‘I’m not him. Just remember that.’

And Eddie did his best in doing so. He could trust Steve but could not let go of things that quickly. It was, after all, the past that made you who you are. Mankind is shaped by memories, and Eddie had too many of those. He wished he could just forget everything and start over, but what would be the point of anything if it was that simple. 

His fingers began to hurt, as well as his head. Whether it was the music he was told to play or his head sobering up, he had had enough for now and handed the lute to the man sitting next to him. It wasn’t anyone from his crew, just another customer, most likely an islander. The man grinned at him with a toothy grin before starting to pluck away at the strings. There had been a slight whine from the rest in the second the music had stopped, but as it resumed, it was all forgotten. Eddie approached Joyce, but not before snatching away another bowl of sunflower seeds from a table. When he arrived at the countertop, she was already pouring him a pint of ale. 

‘So what’s the story here, then?’ She asked as she watched him down the drink in one go. 

‘There is no story,’ he said once he put the cup down, out of breath, already signing to her to pour another. She looked unimpressed but grabbed the tankard anyway.

‘So I am to believe nothing is going on between you and— and her.‘ She said it with so much meaning behind the one word, and since it was them, Eddie understood all of it. 

Joyce’s big eyes had always been intense. When she looked at you, she looked down deep into your soul, unlocking all your secrets with just that one glance. Which is perhaps why Eddie did his best to avoid looking at her too much. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Boy, you really do exhaust me.’ Joyce sighed. ‘Don’t make me point out the obvious.’ She placed down the next drink, and Eddie took it slow this time, only sipping small amounts at a time. Joyce knew that there was nothing else she could get out of him on this matter, but there was so much else she needed to talk about.

‘How did she get on your ship, anyway?’

‘You heard her.’ Eddie didn’t want to explain it. Not to Joyce. He hated repeating himself. So, he took a handful of sunflower seeds and began to occupy himself with those.

‘Yes, I did. The Red Tail. What happened to it?’ 

‘Do you have any more complaints I should take care of?’ He tried to change the subject, and failed at it miserably.

‘No.’ Joyce still answered him quickly before returning to her question. ‘What happened to the Red Tail? What did you do?’

‘Exactly what I told you I would.’ He cracked open another seed. ‘And see how it’s worked out well so far?’ 

Joyce had been leaning against the counter, but at the sound of Eddie’s words, she took a step back, disbelief written all over her face. ‘Eddie…’ 

‘That’s Captain Munson to you,’ he snickered, but she was too used to his attempts at lighting the mood at the worst of moments. And when that didn’t work, there was only one other thing Eddie knew how to do. 

Joyce didn’t even get to finish her question. Eddie got up as her words faded into a weak ‘Is he…’

He just about managed to say his last words before they got lost in the chaos of the party. ‘He got what he deserved. They all did.’ 

More people must have entered The General because surely this crowd did not come solely from the Hellfire, excluding the handful of local drunks.  They must have come in as the music had started. No one in Saint Claire could pass on such an occasion, causing a large commotion. As the door opened and closed constantly, only welcoming more people in, it was suddenly packed from wall to wall. Eddie felt an elbow in his side as he tried to return to his seat, spilling the ale right onto himself. In response, he threw the tankard toward where the arm must have come from, not caring if he had hit the right person, quickly making himself scarce before the person currently cursing out realised it was him to be the perpetrator.

His previous seat was, naturally, already taken. The dancing had stopped as there was no longer space for it unless they decided to get up onto the tables—a most likely option if given a few more drinks. But neither that nor the stain seeping through his shirt was a problem to Eddie. 

‘Where is she?’ he asked, but no one could hear him. He tried again, louder, directing his voice to the crew closest to him. They all shrugged one after the other. How could someone disappear into thin air while surrounded by dozens of people with no witnesses? How did none of his men bother to keep an eye on her?

Finally, Eddie caught sight of Robin, slouched back in a chair, giggling. 

‘I think she—’ Robin’s eyes couldn’t stay focused, and she kept slipping into laughter. ‘I think she went to get some air—as if there is no air in here?’ She laughed. As a matter of fact, the room was only getting hotter, and it was becoming harder to breathe. 

Was that because of a lack of fresh air, however, or was the tight feeling in Eddie’s chest coming from somewhere else entirely? He pushed his way through the crowd to the door. 

It had stopped raining, but the wind had only picked up since the crew entered the tavern. Some buildings had taken off the boards from the windows, illuminating the street with the candlelight from inside, but for the majority, everything was lit by the moon’s silver glow, and barely at that. Anything outside of Main Street was a dark abyss. Surely, she wouldn’t have dared to wander off toward the forest?. Eddie could describe her in many ways, none of which would suggest she was stupid enough to risk her life out there. Who knew what roamed around in the trees and caves. 

For good measure, although not expecting much of a response, he called out her name as he walked down Main Street. Every time he passed by a tavern or inn, he considered walking inside, just to check if she, by any chance, decided to do as well, but he could not think of reasons why she would have.

‘Can we help you, handsome?’ A woman’s voice called out to him. Eddie turned around to meet two women standing outside one of the taverns. Their black dresses were tightened to accentuate their frames and push up their breasts, making them impossible to miss, no matter how hard one tried. They smiled suggestively until they realised who they had approached. ‘Oh, Munson, it’s you.’

‘Tabitha,’ Eddie was glad to see her for once, ‘did you by any chance see a woman walk by here?’

‘Why? Who is she? Another one of your little conquests?’ Her eyes narrowed into accusatory slits, and her large lips formed a sour pout.

‘Tabbie, sweetest, don’t be like that.’ if Tabitha were to explode like she often had the tendency to do, then Eddie had no time to resolve it, so the best solution was to just try and stick to her sweet side, like a fly caught in honey. He glanced at the other woman beside Tabitha, but she did not seem interested in the old lovers' squabble. If that is even what he could call it.

‘You had promised you would come back.’ Tabitha whimpered.

‘And I did.’ Eddie did not have the patience for this. 

‘To break my heart!’ Her voice came out in high-pitched squeaks. 

‘Now, c’mon, we both knew it wasn’t meant to be.’ The next thing he knew, he felt a harsh sting across his face. The second slap he received that night. The rings on Tabitha’s face only added to the pain, but somehow he didn’t feel it as deep as the first one he received. ‘Do you feel better now?’ He sighed.

Tabitha shrugged, crossing her arms. 

‘So, the girl, did you see her? She was wearing a shirt, trousers…’ he tried to describe her. 

‘Oh, her.’ Tabitha grimaced. ‘Yeah, I saw her. Think she was making her way down to the harbour. Was with some guy. They were talking about one of the ships.’ 

‘What guy?’ This could not be happening. 

‘How should I know. He looked a bit stuck up, if you ask me. A bit like you did once.’ She laughed, and her friend joined her sheepishly. None of this sounded good to Eddie. He thanked them, this time without making Tabitha any drunken promises, and ran as fast as his legs could take him to the harbour. How could he have been so stupid? So careless. He let her go out of sight for a minute, and now, just like that, she was gone. Or it would be if he didn’t get there in time. Maybe he could still catch her?

There were many ships in the Saint Claire harbour, the Hellfire, of course, being the most beautiful of them all, and it should have been challenging to figure out which boat she could be on. It should have taken Eddie ages to realise which ship he was looking for, except only one had opened its sails and created a significant distance between itself and the shoreline. Its silhouette was a black wraith against the moon. 

Eddie’s body deflated. He felt so numb from the shock he barely felt himself falling to his knees. It was over. Just like that, she was gone. He wanted to scream, and maybe he had even done so. It was too much of a blur. All his thoughts merged into that all too familiar and seething whirl of anger. 

How had he been able to do this? None of this was supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to be on board that damned ship. They should not have taken her with them. Not locked her up, shunned her out or scared her off. He shouldn’t have done any of them. Maybe it was good he let her escape, but one thing he would never forgive himself for. 

He should never have fallen for her.

He had known better and yet let it happen just like that. How stupid could he have been? At least he could not think of a better punishment for himself than having to live with these thoughts, the regret, for the rest of his life. 

The sand dug into him through his trousers, and he was ready for it to swallow him whole. He would have stayed there if it wasn’t for his crew. Maybe they were too drunk to miss him now, but they needed Eddie. Just as much as he needed them. He couldn’t just abandon them because of his issues. He had brought them into enough trouble because of them as it is. He just had to get over it for their sake. There was nothing he could do anymore but move past it and hope he would forget someday. 

It took some more time for him to be able to walk again. His legs carried him back to his ship, too tired to make his return through Main Street to The General. He had just about enough energy to grab a bottle and sink into it before sinking into his bed. 

It was ridiculous. He knew it. Eddie Munson, captain of the Hellfire, vanquisher of the seven seas… if people could only see him now. Drunk. Exhausted. Alone. Heartbroken.

Funny how history tended to repeat itself.

He threaded the plank up to the ship, keeping his balance as best as possible. His steps were getting heavier with each one he took. There were days when he could have stayed in his quarters for hours, locked away from the world, reading, writing, calculating new routes or decoding more of the cryptic messages he had found in his books. He’d had people give him reminders to come out for meals at times. But now, with everything in there that reminded him of her, how could he go about his days like normal?

How could he be so stupid?

How could he be so stupid to leave a fire burning inside? All it took was one spark, and it could burn everything down. The sight of the candle burning through the strained glass of the door made him speed up his walk up the stairs. Eddie walked in to see the damage, but there was none.

One single candle illuminated the room as best it could, leaving the rest in its shadows, which moved about with the flickering of the light. Despite Eddie having spent hours in the room, having placed every single item inside it, knowing it like the back of his hand, in the dark, it all felt brand new. It was like the darkness was watching him. 

Except that wasn’t it.

On the contrary, suddenly, it was as if the sun had burst inside him. 

Eddie didn’t dare blink, scared that if he moved, she would disappear. Because what else could it be but some kind of hallucination or a dream he would wake up from much too soon. 

‘I thought you had left.’ Against all his willpower, he blinked, but when he opened his eyes again, she still stood there in front of him, and it really was her, only a few feet away, here in his cabin. 

‘I wanted to.’ Her voice was weak, much like he felt at that moment.

‘Then why didn’t you?’ 

‘I don't know.’

Chapter 9 - 18+ version

thank you so much for reading!! if you want more of where this came from, check out my masterlist.

and please support your (not so) local creators by liking AND reblogging. I would love to know what you thought of the story, so please consider leaving a comment, or maybe an ask or even an anonymous review ;P

you are also more than welcome to join the Eddie Munson taglist. right here.

taglist (part 1)

@nope-thanks @seventhlevelofhell @strangerfreak @hangmanscoming @blueberrylemontea-fanfic @vintagehellfire @raven-rust @eddiesguitarskills @taccobelle @imjusteddietrashatthispoint @lunar-corgimon

@dorianelizabeth @theletterhart@pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsx @meaganjm @mischiefmanagers @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreader @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-x @sweetpeapod @eddiemunsonbby @mydearzero @wroteclassicaly @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson au #eddie munson fic #eddie munson imagine #pirate!au #pirates #enemies to lovers #slow burn #angst #fanfiction #pirate!eddie #fanfic #fic #imagine #fanfiction series

[whinyandcheese724]

tbh I'm honestly really glad that buck's first kiss with a man, wasn't with Eddie. I feel like there are so many queer characters, (especially bi characters) that come to terms with their sexuality because of their endgame relationship. Alex's (rw&rb) bi awakening was with Henry, the guy he ends up marrying, Nick's (heartstopper) was with Charlie, his first and only boyfriend, even other queer characters in the 911verse like Hen, TK, and Carlos, only have their one main love interest (I know Hen had Eva, but she was really just there for drama). and that's not to say that there's anything wrong with a character only having one love interest, or that you're not actually bi (or whatever sexuality) if you end up with your sexual awakening. but I like that Buck might get to actually explore his sexuality with more than one person. this is truly a revolutionary thing because you have a main character who has historically been shown as traditionally masculine and a womanizer, and seven seasons into the show (and 32ish years into his life) he's been given a bi awakening, and he might actually get to be with more than one guy, or get to be with another girl after. obviously, I hope he does end up with Eddie, but I really hope we get to see him dating or being with a few other people, because I feel like we never see that

Edit: because I just realized I said in a previous post that I didn't think Buck and Eddie needed to date other people before each other, I have quite obviously changed my mind, but I don't think I realized how much I wanted buck's bi awakening to be it's own thinkg separate from buddie until this episode, and I'm really glad I was wrong, and they did it this way

#evan buck buckley #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #911 season 7 #911 abc #bisexual #911 7x04

[raventreehall]

no one wants to talk about the theon and littlefinger parallels fine I'LL TALK ABOUT THEM. they're both social inferiors in a foster family that they desperately wanted to join but are prevented from doing so which leads to all sorts of complexes!!!

littlefinger didn't really do anything wrong in seeking out catelyn's hand and dueling brandon, he only misread his importance to the tullys and tried to functionally be part of the family that he had been raised in. but that was not allowed to him because of his low birth, just as theon was always relegated to an outsider role within the stark household because he was a hostage. (also note theon's boyhood dream of marrying sansa and ned accepting him as his son; littlefinger's obsession with catelyn seems to actually have catelyn at its core rather than just being a projection of a desire to be accepted within house tully, but who knows, his obsession with cat could actually be the product of an obsession with house tully and his general ambitions to increase his social status). they both had such intense 'i hate you'/'i want to be you' emotions knocking around in their heads as a result of this that they ended up killing—or trying to convince people that they killed—their foster siblings! (i know there's a lot more complexity with the littlefinger and lysa situation, but i think this parallel is really interesting)

littlefinger also had to work for years in gulltown/king's landing to rise through the ranks, to in a way 'regain his standing' to what it was when he was a ward of hoster tully's. throughout his childhood he was constantly around lysa, catelyn, and edmure—all of whom were destined to become lords and ladies of great houses—and was raised like their brother, but after he is banished he struggles to hold even half the status that his foster siblings enjoy naturally. theon goes through a little bit of a similar rude awakening when he arrives back at pyke expecting his father to hail him as his heir returned only to find out balon could not care less about him and likes asha way more, and he takes winterfell to try to prove to balon and the rest of the ironborn that he should be respected. interestingly, we have seen both theon and littlefinger's homecomings on page and they both come across as complete outsiders in the places were they were born, acting above their station because of the circumstances they got used to during their fostering—while this leads to theon trying to reject the starks and gain acceptance from his birth family in acok, in asos when littlefinger goes home to the fingers he wants to get to the eyrie (and to one of the tullys) as quickly as possible

they share some behaviors/character traits, too. littlefinger is noted to dress well, he pays a lot for clothes made of fine fabrics, while we know that theon likes to do the same. littlefinger certainly does this to prove that he is rich and powerful and has made it, showing that he can pay for the same things that any great lord can, which is probably born from more than a little resentment towards hoster for taking him out of the luxury of riverrun and sending him back home to the fingers. similarly, theon dresses elaborately to set himself apart in winterfell, to impress people, and to make himself known, and again this is born from resentment and insecurity (seen best when he goes back to pyke and stresses about what to wear in front of balon). they're also both arrogant and flippant, with a tendency to smile/make jokes too much, perhaps to try to further resist and disparage the social order they feel restricted by

finally there's catelyn: theon looks to her as a quasi-mother figure while he's in winterfell and littlefinger looks to catelyn as a lover, but both of these are impossible and end up being rejected. there's no evidence that catelyn was, like, especially mean to theon, they seem to get on fine in agot, but he was her husband's hostage and we know that she does mistrust him. this attitude is obviously a result of her not trusting the greyjoys because they're reavers/rose against the crown in open rebellion, but it is also no doubt informed by her previous experiences with petyr! it would make sense for her to be wary of a foster son getting close to her children after what happened to her as a kid

#i'm a littlefinger hater but i actually do have immense sympathy for what he went through as a kid especially the lysa stuff #makes him a lot more complex imo #surprisingly it looks like theon is the one that comes out more well-adjusted in regards to his relationship #with his foster family in adulthood. if it can be believed #i mean at least he's not trying to fuck robb's daughter #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #theon greyjoy #littlefinger #petyr baelish

[drowninginblox]

HideDuo HCs bc we are going through it

The March drought is getting to me y'all. I don't know about all y'all but the anniversary isn't the best thing ever, especially with the Hatsune Miku incident.

I think we deserve a little treat for being dedicated to our favorite roommates. Hence these ramblings.

The following applies to the OSMP characters, not actual streamers themselves. This is gonna be very all over the place, overall cursed, and is projecting. I hope yall enjoy-

Fit:

Can play any sport, but hates all of them (except for ice skating, he fucking loves it but he'll never admit it and he can't skate for shit)

Has read fanfiction before

Knows about dreamsmp lore but doesn't know what it all means in context, very much "Did you know a guy fucked a salmon and had a fox as a child?" "He started a country later? The fish fucker???"

Is into more fru fru coffee drinks than he lets on. Like- fuck yea 9/10 times that mother fucker be drinking that shit black, but he loves some good pumpkin spice- tooty fruity-cuchie deluci frappuccino. He'd only give in around sunny tho.

Was a smoker for a hot minute, quit tho when the ashes nearly lit a TNT. Hasn't picked it up since

Is a slut for pig step

Has read The Art of War

Had a celebrity crush on Philza. He still has it but it's defo diminished since he knows him personally.

Showers daily. I don't care that he's a war-torn mf, that man loves taking showers and will never pass up the opportunity to get one.

Has a poster of Miku Binder Jefferson. Someone gave it to him as a secret Santa present and he has no idea who or what to do with it. He's tempted to burn it but he's kind of afraid of it. It's so cursed that it shows up in his nightmares.

He thinks about Forever a lot more than he wants to admit. He's afraid of the possibility of turning into a monster since he was exposed to the black concert a lot. He understands the fear is irrational since it was long ago but the intrusive thought lingers.

He's thought about marriage in general and with Pac. He'd never admit it but he planned out everything from the venue to the music to the vows. He'd easily swipe it all away if Pac said he had an idea of what he wanted it to be like.

is fluent in Morse code

Knows sign language

Hearing aids mf

Has a family somewhere out there, one that he lost or left only to be dumped into TB2T

Loves crosswords, especially during breakfast and right after Ramon goes to bed.

His favorite smell is cinnamon and cocoa butter

Believes in Herobrine

Can't do long division to save his life

Hates the sound of Velcro

Pac:

Likes the Pacman TV show

Smells like cinnamon and cocoa butter

Has too many scars from the cats he's owned over the years.

Married Mike for tax reasons in the past. They play it up that they're bitter divorcés from time to time

Doesn't shower as often as he should, not because he hates it but because he has a long routine and enjoys baths far more

Enjoys tea and coffee equally

Was a homestuck fan (yesIFUCKINGDIDTHATTOHIMWHATAREYAGONNADO???)

Gay awakening was Rufio from Hook

watches Reading Rainbow as an adult

paints on his prosthetic all the damn time

Has a Post-it note collection. He barely uses them but he has a rainbow of them and each color represents a member of the island.

Has a sticker collection

Always carries small snacks for his pocket dude (I heard about this through the wiki, apparently Pac has a pocket boy? If not then he does now lmao) mostly gummy bears and crackers

Is afraid of the ocean. Idk why that just sounds right for him and if it is it recontextualizes the date he had w fit lol

knows Morse code

Knows some phrases in American sign language (fit is teaching him / is learning for fit, whichever is cuter)

Has hacked into a government-locked server, left lobster porn in place of any files he took. Idk which government it was or why he did it, but he did and they haven't recovered since

Is the type to listen to Jon Bellion and Talor Swift. No, i will not elaborate

Has very vivid daydreams. Aside from drugs and PTSD, he has some really nice ones all on his own. Mostly about Fit tbh.

#hideduo #fitpac #qsmp fitmc #pactw #fitmc #qsmp #qsmp headcanons #headcanon #Hideduo headcanons #i am unhinged

[taeloke]

Overanalyzing 4KOTA Chapter 142 instead of just waiting for more info (2/2)

Part 1

This is the part where I talk about King and no one else. Also, this is more ramble than analysis by the end, and I'm making myself not worry about length this time, so...you have been warned :) As for Mertyl, I'll definitely talk about him again over the next chapter, though I might not say as much as I did the first time.

Firstly, look at this face. Remember all those seasons ago, when everything was peaceful for like a single week? How sweet and thoughtful this little guy was, especially against his own personal wishes?

This is King--regardless of how he's like on the outside.

Elaine herself described him as someone who tries to act tough but is really a crybaby. He's someone who can't seem to stop wearing his heart on his sleeve. He always tries to hide his feelings to keep everyone else from worrying, but try as he might, anyone will see through his "tough act" if they're around him for long enough. Awakened or not, he's not King if he's not a highly emotional character like that. He's just a lot better at putting a cover over those feelings now. He's grown up for real.

If you read these last few 4KOTA chapters without remembering the original Seven Deadly Sins story, it only makes sense to look at him more like an ass of a father right now. There's a lot to his perspective that we just haven't gotten to witness yet, and one of the easiest conclusions to make from all of that unknown space is "King loves Nasiens more than the adopted son he raised." For crying out loud, he's giving an immensely scarce cure-all to a young man who introduced himself as a human without an explanation for why Myrtel hasn't received it yet. We don't even know for sure if he's tried using the Drug of Yore to treat Myrtel's condition in the past right now.

There's just one problem about that conclusion: King isn't like that at all. It only looks like he is because this family drama is fatally poisoned with tension and misunderstandings at this point. It's starting to explode.

Remember how way back in the series, King first thought Diane without her memories of him would be better off without him at all?

I think that's a lot similar to what he's thinking with Nasiens right now. If King didn't play a part in their present happiness, then what right does he have to want their love? He'd label that as too greedy or selfish in a way that he can't allow himself to be. He thinks he knows his place, and that place is somewhere forever distanced from his first-born kid.

But he can't just do nothing for Nasiens. Maybe just one totally subtle yet significant expression of love can slide, right? What could he, seemingly as nothing more than a ruler, possibly give to Nasiens to make him happy? Maybe if he gives Nasiens just one perfect gift, Harlequin will feel like he was good for his son at least once. He'll feel like he's finally atoned for losing Nasiens for too long and failing him as a father, and then he can let that "sin" go. Surely, Nasiens wouldn't be happy knowing the truth anyway. He'll be better off never learning about his true relations, since he's built his life without it already. Assuming that "logic" is what King's going through, a lot of his actions make sense to me.

And yet he still almost slipped up and spilled the beans.

Nice save, King, but if you gave Nasiens more time to think he would have realized what you really meant. Tioreh gave him time to realize she believed he's a fairy and his initial freeze then was the exact same.

None of this is easy for King. It isn't easy for any of them. In some ways, those past 2 years must have felt like forever to him. Precious time to have his first-born kid around that he'll never get back. And after 2 years of keeping distance...

"Sorry, I couldn't help but follow you."

"I just wanted to help you out, in any way I could."

King can't keep his distance anymore. His true feelings are starting to break free.

"Hee hee... Don't be shy, now. I just want to be of assistance."

Sure, King. Saying it like that totally doesn't make it sound like there's more to this, even with your confident/amused chuckle.

Of all the gifts he could give Nasiens, I'm sure King believed this was the one thing Nasiens couldn't refuse to accept from him. A powerful healing drug that he advertised as one-of-a-kind and a once-in-a-millennium opportunity. With it presented not only as that, but also as something that might bring Percival back, how could Nasiens reject such a gift? Right?

...And then Nasiens rejects the gift. Immediately, King gets so nervous that he breaks character.

He immediately started sweating too. King prepared everything up to this moment, and he has no excuse as Nasiens questions him and calls him out.

And Nasiens is right to call him out because of how this looks.

Nasiens, just like us, doesn't yet know what the truth here is. He's right to be suspicious and King needs to realize that plans in how the changeling duo is handled need to change right now. Ready or not--telling the truth is the only way to save what's actively starting to cave in.

But the sad thing is...I have a feeling that it's too late already.

Things are only going to get worse from here... I don't know how, and in a way that makes this feel more awful.

Sixtus should tell King that Mertyl saw him offer the Drug of Yore to Nasiens. There's no doubt in my mind that King will realize the problem once he has that information and try to do whatever he can to make things right. PLEASE don't make him too late again. At least give him a chance to talk to Mertyl before things fall apart if that's where all of this is headed.

#nnt king #4kota #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nanatsu no taizai #nnt #ramblings #I feel like I have even more to say #but i cant think of any more #and i want to send this today soo

[they-them-that]

Light trigger warning: gender roles, misogyny, transphobia

I love Ouran Highschool Host Club and with the Shoujo classic that it is, I adopted the general consensus that the show was "ahead of its time" with how it portrayed gender. Haruhi will always be a non-binary icon but upon rewatching it, especially after my own trans awakening, I remembered something that never sat right with me and that was how Tamaki treated Haruhi. My two cisgender friends didn't seem to pick up on the same problems even though they also consider Haruhi to be non-binary which made me think I was just projecting onto the anime. But another friend of mine later told me how it was much more "heterosexual" than she remembered that helped validate the feeling I had.

Although Haruhi doesn't like to make a fuss about gender, the anime does and it constantly reminds us that no matter what Haruhi feels, she is still a "girl". Tamaki is the worst offender of this mentality where even his entire perspective on Haruhi changes as soon as he finds out she's afab. A huge part of Tamaki's character is that he dotes on Haruhi "like a father" where his actions are actually founded on the authoritative, patriarchal belief that he needs to "protect" her because she is a woman. Not just protect her from actual harm either but from things like kissing someone and wearing a swimsuit...

Although in certain ways, we're supposed to laugh at Tamaki's overbearing nature, he's never actually taught to respect Haruhi's autonomy. In what felt like every episode, Tamaki fixates on Haruhi's assigned sex much to her annoyance. Yet rather than learning to look at Haruhi as a person regardless of gender, we're expected to see his obsession with upholding gender roles as a sign of affection. This felt clearest in episode 8, "The Sun, the Sea, and the Host Club!" where Haruhi confronts two men for harassing her female peers. She gets shoved into the water where Tamaki saves her but the conflict arises when he scolds Haruhi for standing up to men at all. The message emphasizes to us that "Haruhi is a girl" and it's something that she has to accept for her own well being while Tamaki's anger is meant to be perceived as chivalrous rather than patriarchal and heteronormative. The reality is, even if Haruhi was in danger, that isn't actually her fault but the fault of the men who felt entitled to women's bodies (something Tamaki is guilty of, even if not to the same level of aggression).

I still cherish OHSHC but it hasn't fully stood the test of time as I've been led to believe. That's not to rob gender queer people the comfort they feel from the show but that for myself, it's a bit hard to look past the cishet energy that the anime exudes. Although I see Haruhi as non-binary, the show doesn't seem to agree and goes great lengths to invalidate Haruhi's gender indifference. It's tragically common in anime and manga where trans-coded afab characters are reminded that they're still women and it's usually "proven" to them through patriarchal scenarios that put CIS men in a role of dominance. A lot of the time, these women are only gender nonconforming out of happenstance or circumstance rather than by choice, which even includes Haruhi Fujioka (she only cut her hair because there was gum in it). That's not to conflate gender expression with identity but it does feel like we're only being met half way, especially when the anime still romanticizes the gender dichotomy with Haruhi and Tamaki's relationship. I would've loved to see Tamaki be able to toss the notion of gender the same way Haruhi is able to and have that be the groundwork in which their mutual feelings blossom. Instead, it just felt like we got a man who stubbornly wants someone who grew up without gender labels to visualize herself the way he does, as a "woman".

#ouran high school host club #ohshc #haruhi fujioka #tamaki suoh #tw transphobes