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#he’s blowing 🤬🤬

two-white-butterflies · 9 months

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she's poison | m33

Description: Your relationship is leaked to the public. No one believes that you're dating Max.

Pairing: max verstappen/it-girl!reader

There was only one reason that a woman would fall in love willingly - and it was because the man was enchanting. The first time that you met him - he ignored everything that you did. He ignored your existence - because there was no fucking way that a goddess like you would choose to come down to earth and be with him.

He held his head high - holding his ego close to his chest. He'd be perfectly content in going back to his apartment, knowing that he blowed off the chance of a lifetime. He figured that you'd fade - and be one of the girls that he could've loved.

He'd be happy with your memory, but Lando had to open his mouth: "No damn way that Max is bagging that hottie." his friend muttered in his thick British accent. The entire table erupted into drunken laughter - and he could feel his ego shatter into a million pieces.

Without another word - he sashays towards you. Smiling with those innocent eyes of his. "Hey, I couldn't help but see that you're alone. Do you have friends here?" Max asked with a smile, trying to keep the conversation long enough for his friends to realize that you were 'somewhat' interested.

You turned to look at him - shock flooding through your features. He wasn't like the guys that you spoke to - nothing like Earl Westfort or that Taiwanese tycoon that your parents force you to tolerate. Shit, this man who you've known for only 3 seconds was a breath of fresh air. He was the calm after a storm.

"Sadly, I'm alone - my friends ditched me." you chuckled, dancing along to the tune of the music. "Do you want to get out of here?" he offered - unable to hear you clearly because of the noise.

And you couldn't believe it - because you agreed.

That was the beginning of your love story - the guy who was shooting his shot, and the girl who let him.

glitterparty23: privacy sign on the door 🔒

1283 comments 1,348,345 likes

bentashakers: that's literally liam hemsworth 😭 - lovingitcoma: No, it's obviously Chris Evans

BELONGmeee34: Chris Evans and Y/N L/N??? WTF

celebrityupdates: Y/N L/N, Chris Evans and Margot Robbie on the movie premiere of 'The Last Days of Santa Elena'

392 comments 24,283 likes

chrisandyn2: They think that they're slick for this 😭

uwuwu123: NO PICS OF THEM TOGETHER??

ilovemetoo9: this is so foul

comments

lestappenduo: is that max verstappen?? 😀

glitterparty23: omg !! - keithurban: Sorry?

ynandchris: We've been saying Y/N and Chris but it's actually Max and Y/N hahahahahahahahahahah

landonricciardo: MAX AND Y/N?

maxverstappen1: Winning on and off the tracks 💪🏽🧡

239 comments 243,345 likes

lestappenduo: max's normal posts: 🤬💪🏽🏅 max when it's yn: 🤤🧡

glitterparty23: 💗

#max verstappen #max verstappen fic #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x female reader #f1 fics #f1 #f1 imagine #max verstappen x reader #f1 smut #f1 fanfic

1K notes · View notes

professional-termite · 3 months

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imagine if the star trek tos gang had tumblr lol

🔄 vulcanfuckerjt reblogged 1stofficerspock

😍 vulcanfuckerjt Follow

mannnn why are vulcans so.... ahfhfjfj lik????

🖖 1stofficerspock Follow

Hello captain.

😍 vulcanfuckerjt

sPOCKWHEN DJD YOU GET TUMBLR

🖖 1stofficerspock

Dr. McCoy reccommended this app to me this morning.

😍 vulcanfuckerjt

okkkk i think me and dr mccoy need to have a TALK

#in the meantime i need to purge this blog eughhhh

12 notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged 1stofficerspock

🎶 music-by-nyota Follow

rb for reach!!

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily Follow

FLOWER OF SCOTLAND SWEEP!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily Follow

RUSSIAN ANTHEM SWEEEP!!! 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺

🟥 redshirt-ensign Follow

who tf submitted a mitski song

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

i did. it reminded me of how @'cptnjtkirk feels about @'1stofficerspock :]

🖖 1stofficerspock Follow

What?

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

IGNOREE HIM PLEEASE

#bones istg

1.2k notes

🔄 scottishthings-daily reblogged russianthings-daily

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily Follow

if the enterprise was a woman id want her to sit on my face

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily Follow

🤨

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily

wRONG BLOG

26.7k notes

🔄 redshirt-ensign reblogged redshirt-ensign

🟥 redshirt-ensign Follow

abt to go on my first mission, wish me luck!!

🟥 redshirt-ensign

med bay

56.8k notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged klingon-commander

🤬 klingon-commander Follow

this is a callout post for @'cptnjtkirk hes a vulcan fucker and a war criminal

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

you say that like theyre equally bad..?

🤬 klingon-commander

they are.

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

too bad im not actually either of those things lmao

#i wish... #not about the war criminak thing obv i mean #wait dammit spock can see this blog nvm

10 notes

🔄 klingon-soldier-6 reblogged scottishthings-daily

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily Follow

Posting Russian things every day, day 567: Nevsky potatoes!

😡 klingon-soldier-6 Follow

they look stupid

🇷🇺 russianthings-daily

i have your family name and home coordinates. you have 3 days to delete that post.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scottishthings-daily Follow

ay, laddy...@'cptnjtkirk said to quit yer fighting!

😡 klingon-soldier-6

stfu ur in love with an ugly ass spaceship

#istg you starfleet ppl are like asking to get bullied or smthn #not my fault ur easy targets

756 notes

🔺️ engineerthrowaway74859 Follow

@'klingon-soldier-6 's full dox

130 notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged romulan-invasion

🗡 thereal-mrsulu Follow

@'cptnjtkirk Sir, there's an asteroid coming towards the ship at an alarming speed! 3 hours until impact!

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

cant we just move out of the way.? or blow it up

🗡 thereal-mrsulu

I can't, sir! Our controls are all jammed!

🪆 russianthings-nav Follow

can confirm, @'cptnjtkirk sir!! nothings working!!

🌠 cptnjtkirk

how?? how could this have happened???

😈 romulan-invasion Follow

🌠 cptnjtkirk

shit

4.3k notes

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

"ooo mccoy what do i do" "oooh mccoy im in love with my first officer" "ooh mccoy--" boi stfu im a surgeon not a matchmaker

#go talk to someone else if you want help with that bucko #bones rambles

2 notes

🌠 cptnjtkirk Follow

i wish people would stop vagueposting about me :( at least @ me if ur gonna say something rude

#personal

0 notes

🔄 cptnjtkirk reblogged bonesbonesbones

🦴 bonesbonesbones Follow

@'cptnjtkirk is a massive simp

#not what i meant but thanks i guess

36 notes

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ifwebefriends · 5 months

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Started rereading the hunger games and in retrospect some of this is so funny with Peeta and Katniss’ relationship it’s like

Peeta: well this blows ☹️ I’m going to die soon but I’m going to tell my crush how I feel about her 🥰 and help her survive and get back to her family! 😊

Katniss: this BITCH 😡 is plotting to kill me! He’s MANIPULATING ME!! I’ll hang with him because Haymitch says so 🙄 but FUCK HIM 🤬 and FUCK THESE COOKIES TOO 🫳🍪🌱🍪☘️🌱🍪

#bubbles rereads the hunger games #remember that Peeta’s dad gave her cookies?#yeah…#the hunger games #everlark #reread #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark

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astaroth1357 · 1 year

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The Brothers are Damsels in Distress!!

I was flicking through my feed, saw something and went: "But what if Rapunzel??"

Content: Hints of Fairytale AU, but on crack

Scenario: One morning, through utterly inexplicable means, a portal opens up and drops one of the brothers into a cottage-style tower straight out of a fairy tale. The whole room is enchanted so they can't break out on their own. Their only means of communication are their phones and a crystal ball they can use to see what the MC and others are doing.

How are they taking this?

~♡♡♡~

Lucifer

This man is livid. Fuming. Almost apoplectic.

He has no idea what being has decided to put him in this position, but he's already planning on making them Cerberus' next chewtoy the moment he finds his freedom.

After establishing that he can't teleport out, break the walls, jump out the window, tunnel through the floorboards, or just blow up the room out of spite... he finally accepts his fate.

Lucifer... is miserable. He's doing his best to conserve his phone battery so he can still coordinate with his brothers from a distance, but watching them stumble around cluelessly through the crystal ball is honestly painful. He quite frequently shouts at the feed like a football dad screaming at a TV.

He puts all his hopes in MC and Dia coming up with something because everyone else is mostly useless... There were multiple instances where he just holds his head in his hands, resigning to the idea of being stuck there until he's just a dried out skeleton.

Even if they finally get to him, he won't be happy. He'll be humiliated by the whole affair and trying to anything in his power to save face and get out on his own as much as possible. Anyone who values their lives will forget that it ever happened in the future.

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Lucifer! Lucifer!! Let down your-gah!!

*they rub their head and feel something wet hit their fingers*

MC: Was... was that a tomato?!

MC: You know what, fuck you man!! Go help yourself!! 🤬

Mammon

He's flipping out.

An extrovert like Mammon trapped in a room like that all alone?? He'll go stir crazy in three days tops!

It took twenty minutes and 3 selfies for anyone besides the MC to believe that he was trapped in there. ... Then MC raking his brothers over the coals for them to actually start treating it like a priority. He really didn't do it to himself this time, dammit!!

Mammon's ADHD brain is already going mad after a few hours of nothing to do. MC gets piles upon piles of texts ranging from, "Are ya any closer yet??" to "MC, if ya can't get me out of here, take care of Goldie for me... my car too."

They have to reassure him multiple times that he would not, in fact, die in there if they could help it. Though after his phone goes dead from the constant spam, they do start to worry...

If there was any bright side to the situation, Mammon gets to watch his treasured MC absolutely tear his brothers a new one if any one of them so much as think about giving up or postponing the search. Their anger is truly frightening... so good thing he isn't there! Ha!!

When they finally find him, he's never lept for the MC so fast... Literally. He literally jumps. He wants out of there FAST.

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Mammon! Mammon!! Let down your-

Mammon: *leaps from the tower, knowing they'll find some way to catch him*

Mammon: FREEDOM!!!

MC: Oh dear God, don't just jump!!! 😫

Leviathan

Panicking like crazy and running around in circles. Can you even comprehend how many premieres he's going to miss like this?? The spoilers!!!

After the MC gets a hold of him through the phone and they tell him to hang tight and if he figures out where he is to let them know.

So uh... He had intends to keep his phone usage down to a minimum so he could conserve the battery life. However, he figures he could at least do his mobile game check-ins and the next thing he knows his phone dies during a weekly dungeon....

Honestly? His soul might have died along with it.

He spends a lot of time staring at the crystal ball, hoping in vain that one of his brothers will watch TV or something, anything that could give him something to do.

That was his only way of communicating with the others and, more importantly, the only source of entertainment an otaku like him could have in a room like this! Does he look like a cottagecore enthusiast?? No!!!

If anyone is in his bedroom, he'll try to zoom in on Henry's fishbowl and talk to him to decompress... He already feels like such an idiot for wasting his battery life. Henry, why is he so stupid...?

Yeah, he's going to be bored and moping until somebody comes to find him. But at least he won't mind the isolation as much so they're not too worried about him going crazy in there. He'll be fine... right?

Bouns:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Leviathan! Leviathan!! Let down your-

Levi: *scrambles to the window* MC, DID YOU BRING A CHARGER?!?

MC: PRIORITIES, LEVI!!!

Satan

He is naturally furious, but also weirdly intrigued. Is this like one of those escape rooms MC sometimes talks to him about...?

Much like Lucifer, he quickly finds that trying to break through stuff wouldn't get him anywhere... as the heavy countertop he smashed into smithereens again the wall shows him.

Tantrum out of his system, Satan is probably the most rational the seven. He does his best to communicate to the others where the tower is based on the landmarks he can see, but he also uses his phone sparingly to conserve the battery.

While they all work to track him down, he keeps himself busy by listening to their plans through the crystal ball or searching for any weak points on his own, because what good would just sitting around do him?

He's surprisingly flexible. If the group plans to look for him from above, he sets out cushions on the floor just in case of any falls. If they want to look for him on foot, he makes sure to light as many candles as possible to give them a makeshift beacon to guide them.

By the time that they actually find him, he's already figured out a couple ways to help get him out depending on the possible exit points and has prepared accordingly.

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Satan! Satan!! Let down your-eh?

*they watch as a looong chain of tied together sheets, tablecloths, and towels gets tossed from the window, followed by Satan using it to calmly rappel down*

MC: U-uh.... Never mind! I guess you got this. 😅

Asmodeus

Asmo would be living his best life if only anyone could actually see him up there!

Asmo is all down for playing the role of the helpless, beautiful victim in need of rescuing but how is he supposed to pull that off if he's trapped all alone?? There's no attention! No pageantry!!

After getting the situation across to his brothers, he also kills his phone battery by posting selfies and livestreaming the situation to his adoring public. They're so scared for him, but he's not worried. MC will come find him, after all!

By the time they actually arrive to come get him, Asmo has already dolled himself up to play his newfound role perfectly.

After his phone dies, he keeps himself busy in small ways... Like practicing his relieved expression in a mirror for a few hours. Or using the curtains and his sewing skills to make himself just the cutest gown!

MC: *stand under the tower*

MC: Asmodeus! Asmodeus!! Let down your... hair...?

Asmo: ✨️COMING~!!✨️

*the MC watches as yards and yards of beautiful strawberry blonde trusses indeed gets thrown from the window above, all connected to a very hammy Asmo standing on the window sill*

MC: ... It's only been two days, how did you even grow all that?!?

Beelzebub

Very confused, upset, and hungry. Somebody please help him!!

The minute that Beel sends the message that he is trapped somewhere, it was really all hands on deck. MC and Belphie were freaking out of course, but all of his other brothers were just as worried as well. This is Beel here! He's going to be so hungry out there!!

And hungry he is. He went through an entire two weeks worth of rations stored in the room within an hour. By the end of the day, he's so mindlessly hungry that he starts taking bites out of the tables, chairs, and even his phone...

Since he can't use half of a phone, Beel has to watch his brothers work through the crystal ball while he gnats on the drapery, feeling guilty about making them all so worried...

At least this time his brothers don't argue nor fight with each other at all. Everyone understands what the priorities are and they follow whatever roles they are to the letter. They want to find him ASAP and they even take turns comforting Belphie with MC while they search.

By the time they find him, the whole family is willing to bust through the walls with pickaxes if that's what it takes to get to him. He would feel really touched by all of their efforts, but he's just so hungry... need... food.....

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Beel! BEEL!! I BROUGHT BURGERS!!!

Beel: MC... s-so hungry.... 😓

MC: You stay right there, don't move a muscle! I'm coming to you!! 😫

Belphegor

... Deja vu, right?

So this isn’t Belphie's first rodeo. He's practically a "stuffed up somewhere he can't escape from" veteran now. Though this place was more... cozy than the attic.

Call it the cow in him, but he's always had a soft spot for cottagecore. It's so homey and comforting, just perfect for lazy naps under fruit trees! The atmosphere is so relaxing...

So he naps. A LOT.

He ends up communicating a lot more sporadically with everyone than the others. Largely due to the long periods of unconsciousness. But like, could you blame him? What was he even supposed to do in there? MC would figure something out again.

Whenever he goes over to check the progress, he shoots out sarcastic texts about his brothers' dumb ideas to pass the time. It's very apparent how unconcerned he is about this from the get-go...

Does he know when they are on their way to get him? Surprisingly yes. Does he manage to stay awake until they show up? Unsurprisingly no. Go figure...

Bonus:

MC: *standing under the tower*

MC: Belphegor! Belphegor!! Let down your hair!

Belphegor: .....

MC: ... Belphie?

Belphegor: .....

MC: Bitch, are you seriously asleep?!

Belphegor: ....zzzZZzzz....

MC: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!

#sleepy belphie with milkmaid braids~#cottagecore belphie lol #obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me crack #obey me scenarios

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iwas-tooru · 11 months

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how i think the kny demons let it rip

AKAZA

refuses to fart in a public space, the thought is absolutely mortifying to him

excuses himself politely and goes into a little corner to do it

occasionally when he can't hold it in he lets it out and blames the smell on Douma

DOUMA

accidentally farts when he's laughing too hard but isn't necessarily ashamed of it

it's very unexpected like one second he's wheezing hard and the next you hear a loud one rip

it surprises him too but he just goes "ah, excuse me ✋🏻✋🏻" and just goes right back to saying whatever he was saying

doesn't really stink, unless he's freshly back from munching on women at his shrine lol

KOKUSHIBO

he doesn't feel the need to hold it in if he senses a discreet one coming on but Kokushibo is like really bad at reading his own farts lol

he suspects a silent one bubbling up in his stomach and just decides to let it out at the upper moon summon while he's sitting like 🧎🏻‍♂️ as usual but turns out he misjudged it and it actually comes out loud as fuck scaring everyone in the vicinity

he knows nobody will dare say anything about it cause he's upper moon one and tbh he doesn't really give a shit, he just goes:

👁 👁

👁 _ 👁 "excuse me."

👁 👁

GYOKKO

like those watery ones that sound like someone blowing into a glass of soda with a straw

this mf sharts, i just know he does

does it at the worst moments too like Muzan be talking about how worthless and useless the upper moons are and he's trying his hardest to hold it in but it just comes out right in between Muzan's speech

turns very red and embarrassed

doesn't stink in the air but woe betide if you catch a whiff of his behind

HANTENGU CLONES:

HANTENGU

he has those really high pitched squeaky musical note ones that stink like a septic tank

it happens when he's really scared or anxious and just sinks into the floor when they escape

they come out anywhere and everywhere lol Douma snorts everytime it happens and damn near bites his own tongue

SEKIDO

one loud angry fart that just goes 'BLARP'

mostly happens when he can't hold it in anymore and even tho he's embarrassed as hell he'll be looking at you as if daring you to comment on it like "tf you lookin' at huh 🤬"

KARAKU

this mf farts in the blanket and traps Sekido inside, shoving his head in and holding it in a death grip till he's choking and sputtering

he also lifts his leg to do it onto Sekido sometimes just to annoy him

gets his ass beat each time but to him it's worth it lol

UROGI

man has no shame whatsoever will do it anywhere and everywhere and he has those little continuous ones that rumble and stink like hell

sometimes he lets out a long string of trumpet ones. he mostly likes doing it while he's flying cause he feels free and finds it funny that people could be going on with their lives as usual and suddenly they look up to see an overgrown chicken zooming across the sky while letting out a long engine-like backfiring with each toot varying in pitch and tone

AIZETSU

has those silent and deadly ones when he gets overtly anxious or sad

it's bad enough to make the other three gag and cough and he just turns red and starts stuttering out apologies

will probably never look you in the eye again

ZOHAKUTEN

look i don't' know how to describe it but it's as if he's been holding it in for fucking centuries????

like he's deadass gonna stand there with his arms crossed and his face all (ㆆ_ㆆ) while he lets it rip and oh lord it's going to be one of those that just keeps on going and going and going

worst part is he'll probably stare you right in the eye while doing it and woe betide you if you dare laugh at him

the pitch increases as the fart begins dying out

ig thats what happens when you remain fused inside hantengu's body for too long......

DAKI

dainty toots, always excuses herself to go into a corner

lowkey terrified of doing it in public so she always runs off into a restroom when she feels the slightest bit of churning in her tummy

forces them out sometimes while she's alone so that they don't come out in public and those ones are real loud and stink terribly lol

GYUTARO

is neutral about it i think

he feels its a regular bodily function so he ain't necessarily ashamed of it

in short he doesn't really give a shit and doesn't even excuse himself when he lets one out lol

they're usually pretty plain and straightforward smell like the normal level of stink

only excuses himself if he does it in front of Daki

KAIGAKU

this mf squats lol

has those loud ass ones that start out low and rumbly and go higher and higher by the second and finally end when they've reached the maximum pitch

he doesn't give a shit and just sniggers at whoever is on the receiving end of this monstrosity

stinks like hell, he really needs to fix his diet

ENMU

he has those little tiny toots that come out unexpectedly and randomly like he could be walking and suddenly you'd hear a little squeak come out from behind him

has definitely accidentally done it in front of Muzan lol the memory still haunts him

turns scarlet and begins stammering apologies

goes into a corner and has a mental breakdown soon after

RUI

he has those loud, rumbling ones that you let out when you're really stressed/angry if you get what i mean??

has no shame in it fr, and besides everyone in his 'family' is too scared to say anything to him lol so he gets away with it pretty easy

NAKIME

now don't come for me but i feel like she lets out silent stinky ones and blames them on someone else (mostly Douma)

like she's chilling with her biwa and feels a lil rumble in her tummy so she just lets it out silently and keeps quiet abt it until someone goes "ewww what's that smell" and she deadass says with a straight face "it appears Lord Douma has had a good meal today"

LIKE JUST STRAIGHT UP BLAMES IT ON HIM AND THEN WATCHES THE CHAOS UNFOLD AS DOUMA DENIES IT AND PINS IT ON AKAZA AND THEY END UP FIGHTING WHILE SHE'S JUST CHILLING TRYING TO FIGHT BACK A SMIRK LMFAO-

MUZAN

he doesn't fart.

he just doesn't.

no criticism shall be taken.

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jonnnysuh · 1 year

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Dating S Coups would include

A/N: HIIII Happy new year !!! Long time no see. I wanted to write one of these for so long but it just wasn’t working out…. And then my brain came up with this out of no where. I’m not sure how well this is gonna do bc it’s been a while ((also no one has ever requested s coups??? So I’m really doing this for no reason LMAO)) I’m ngl i kinda popped off on this one. also fun lil treat at the end <3

Series Masterlist

Crushing stages:

This is a friends to lovers type of man!!! I cannot stress this enough

You meet each other when you’re kids and one day he looks at you and it just clicks

At first you refuse to believe there’s something between you two bc you’ve known him for so long

But there’s something about the way he says your name when he’s sleepy, how he always makes sure to be on the “dangerous” side of the sidewalk for you, how he is the one thing in your life that feels stable and warm and right

One day he’s like “fuck it” and goes for it bc there is no feeling in the world as definite as his love for you

Dating:

Bc you’ve been friends for actual eternity he knows you so well

It goes beyond just remembering all the foods you do and don’t like (which he does know) … HE CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE LYING

Also bc of this, he’s the first person you go to for advice

You know he’ll be honest and fair and help you come up with the right decision bc he just… knows you

Sends u drunk texts bc he cannot stop thinking about u ever

100000% compared hands with you when you were just friends LMAO AND STARTED INTERLOCKING FINGERSJSJDKSK

He does not get tired of listening to the story of when you realized you had feelings for him

Will do things for you even if he’s tired out of his mind as long as it makes u happy

If u needed a glass of water in the middle of the night there is no question about,, he’s getting up from bed to make sure you have it

“Text me when u get home” 🫡

Brings up embarrassing childhood stories about you

But don’t worry you also got some dirt on him so he won’t be hehe-ing for too long

NOOO I FEEL LIKE HE’D ENJOY MAKING LEGO FLOWERS WITH YOU (or any sort of thing where you guys can sit in comfortable silence,, as long as you’re together type thing)

IT’S A YEARLY TRADITION

Is not afraid to tell you his opinion

And won’t always agree with u

Sometimes he wont say it tho, you can just tell by his face…. But also guess what Cheol ur not the boss 🤬🤬🤬

Loves late night drives !!! Eeeee imagine listening to music in the car with him and singing your lil hearts out

One hand on the wheel one hand on you

Having a Spotify blend of ur guys’ favourite songs 😭😭 and they’re always in rotation 😭😭😭 Imma cry rn

He said “I love you” first. Tbh he always knew he was going to be the one bc he can’t help it, it’s so easy with you

Cuddles after a long day

“C’mere” in his tired voice FJOSFIOWJXJKWNS!!!

Spoonfeeds you bites of his meals

Your parents really really like him ((he’s so charming I fear there was no choice))

Sends u cute lil update pics

YOU GOT THIS FULL GROWN MAN SENDING YOU KISSY FACES

Nah he for sure has an album in his phone called “us <3” or some shit with just pics of YOU GUYS AHHHHHH

For some reason I feel like he’d like the sound of his SO’s voice

Is your voice of reason when u wanna make a dumb decision … but will that stop u from being dumb sometimes??? I think not

Lowkey…. Blows u kisses…. No one else is allowed to see tho ok shh

Your whole house smells like him after he visits bc his cologne is STRONG

Often times when you’re cuddling in bed he’ll be looking over your shoulder so u guys watch TikToks/videos together

Soooooo supportive! He’s so proud of you!!

Competitive asshole

It can be the most mundane thing ever but he has to win or even just tease you about it

Voluntarily gives you his sweaters and shirts

Lifts you up a bit when you guys hug

Long-term bets ((just cause y’all know you’ll be together for a longgggg time))

Calling each other by your childhood nicknames

He gets excited when you guys talk about the future he literally cannot wait to spend his entire life with you

Taps on his cheek for a kiss jfodjdjkdnd

Plays with your hair so gently that it causes you to fall asleep

“How are you, my baby?”

HE HAS TO ADD “MY” BC YOU ARE HIS BABY

Protective. If he thinks someone’s gonna mess with you he’ll step in at the exact right time

Lowkey gets jealous,, he needs that reassurance sometimes

NAHHHH imagine saying “make me” to this man …. That’s all I’m gonna say

Bites u (lovingly)

Loves going grocery shopping with you and taking an extra long time in the snack aisle

Has the urge to sing cheesy love songs around you bc you make him feel like those songs!!!

If you do something cute he’ll blush

Messing with him is so much fun bc theres literally endless ways to go about it

You have the privilege to push his buttons

Either one of you bringing up childish shit like “REMEMBER WHEN WE PLAYED FREEZE TAG AND YOU DIDNT UNFREEZE ME??”

If you start showing him things on FaceTime he’ll give you his full attention like he’s in the room with you

Gets pouty when he wants a kiss and you’re not giving it to him

NAH if you get sulky coups it’s over with you’ve already lost … the man is getting what he wants

play wrestles with u

The way he looks at you there is honestly no denying that he is so in love with you

The one person in the world who knows everything about you

Loves a good deep talk but fair warning: he will get emotional about it

All I’m saying is s coups is a certified lover boy methinks

BONUS:

#s coups #s coups scenarios #choi seungcheol #seventeen #seventeen imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop texts #kpop writing #scoups fluff #boyfriend!svt #seventeen drabbles #svt #tbh its not really written in his tone of voice but LOWE ME #THESE TEXTS WERE SO HARD TO COME UP WITH BUT U KNOW WHAT #I LIKE THEM #me trying to fight for my life for no reason #svt headcanons

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justcallmesakira · 3 months

Text

Bsd men with a childish s/o pt. 3!

Sypnosis: How the people who are somewhat sane deal with you and your goofy goobers

Warnings: eyebrow less, wereballs, mentions of gaslight ING, mentions of turning into a gacha life demon form 2019,stealing glittery not pads, omori building reference, etc.

Genre: lowkey fluff, crack

A/N: bro this series is blowing up for real- Anyways heres part 2 andddd part 1!

Atsushi-

No guys hes not like you-😭

Sometimes he wonders if you were better suited with dazai then him (it's giving a certain emo Victorian kid kinnie)

But hey hey! Don't worry he will try to calm you down because he DOES NOT WANT YOU to follow dazai's steps! 😋😋

Dw atsushi! Reader is perfectly sane!!

He once came back to the agency from a mission only to see you see you eyebrow less

"Y/N! I am ba-AAAAAAAAAH-" "What, jinko, finally grew some wereballs"

HGYHFYG WERE BALLS-

Turns out you were cosplaying akutagawa and the eyebrowless thing was just a prank <3

Jizz man, give my pookie tiger

He's more scared of you then akutagawa 😨😨😨

You sometimes feel silly so you gave him cat food for lunch beacuse dazai convinced you with some skittles (he probably stole them from ranpo)

"umm, y/N.. WHY are you giving me cat food?" "because I felt silly lol"

I BET HE WOULD EAT IT BECAUSE HE DOES NOT WANT TO WASTE FOOD-

Kyouka had to stop him-

I am pretty sure you two speak in kaomojis like--

But he enjoys your presence, it's nice to know that at least your happy,Perhaps he can protect you and your happiness if he tries....

Sometimes he wonders how you have so much energy to break into his home with hello kitty pins just to wake him up

And go to an amusement park..

There goes atsuhis wallet! 😄💸

I think atsushi genuinely likes your antics.. Sometimes

But he would definitely keeps you away from dazai so you two don't pour Elmer's glue into kunikidas hair :3

Gin-

Uh oh... Gin can you really handle reader-

OF COURSE YOU Can!! You can do anything hahaha... (please help I am being hold at gunshot by rea-)

Since she's really shy and all you speak for her though you jumble the words sometimes

"she asked for no pickles ya dumb yard😡🤬😈👿" *turns into a gacha life 2019 demon*

Although she can't keep up with your energy you always understand what she says in a notepad

You even stole bought her a glittered kuromi notepad for you twos personal talking!

Sometimes she sees silly doodles on the corners of the pages

Gin thinks its honestly cute

However if akutagawa founds out about your silly antics around his sister he's gonna give you a death stare

Gin haded to reasure him countless times that you won't eat her whole

I would😋😋😋

After she calmed her brother you always greeted him with "yo bro wassup >:3"

Bad idea😨

It's true your the person talking for her and all but she's gonna go full assassin mode if someone even tries to hurt you

THAT'S MY Girl!!!!! 😍🤩🥰😝 *verlaine bcs he canonically trained gin I think

Anyways you and her share a cute Lil dynamic

Sigma-

T-that gif if him before finding out you were trying to eat the casino coins

"Y/N YOU CAN NOT EAT CASINO COINS" "why :(" "It's NOT FOR EATING" "why :(" "Well you ca-" ":c" "Why the sad face...wait did I shout too loud oh my god y/N I am so sorry.. You know what fine I will take you to the casinos play ground today" ":3"

Sigma.. That face is the face of someone who always gets what they want-😦

Also he sometimes questions how and why you speak in emojis like ":3" or ":("

Teach me your ways bestay😏

But please he's so insecure don't do that to my pookie😭🙏

He sometimes question if he has met your type before.. *flashbacks of Nikolai and dazai*

He's gonna go OUT of his way to keep you away from Nikolai bro

Sigma does not want to have a Nikolai dupe as his s/o

But still he might get a bit protective like "y/N be safe" "y/N don't go there" "y/N make sure to wear kneecaps before skating in the hallways of the casi- WAIT"

"don't worry I will be fine!" famous last words

*inserts omori reference here*

He's so tired bro but anything to keep you happy...

You somehow sometimes save him from Nikolai prank

But even so he tries protecting you...afterall no one wants to lose their only home.......

A/N: hope you enjoyed it! Sigmas one was my favorite :33 anyways I think I will do hunting dogs ver. If you guys want!

Divider creds: @junkyukim on pinterest

#Atsushi #atsushi x reader #gin akutagawa #gin x reader #sigma bsd #sigma x reader #sigma male #bsd headcanons #bungou stray dogs #Bsd crack #Sigma x you

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Text

"I don't think this is safe"

Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: You managed to 'persuade' Joel in to agreeing to get a piercing in exchange for you putting your old ones in.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: fem!reader, smutty themes (mostly joel being super handsy), reader has piercings on a sensitive spot (; , super mega-whipped!Joel, fluff, chaos fic, crack fic, typos, etc.

A/N: ok yall were 🤬🔪 over my last joel fic,,, and well same with the one before that, so everyone, let's just all calm down and enjoy a lil bit of this (((: as you can tell the fic is inspired by the absolute menace pedro was during the met gala T_T so well... this is not angsty at all so [throws flowers] Tagging: @multifandom-fangirl4 @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx

"Wait," he raises the hand that was on my lap, "hold on-"

I chuckle as I brush his hair back.

Joel screws his eyes shut and shakes his head slowly. His one hand, that was wrapped around my waist while I was sat on his lap, tightened around my side.

I cannot help but snort as his pulls his head back and further contorts his face in disbelief, trying to wrap his head around the information I just told him.

I curl my legs up, resting my feet by the side of his thigh, then he finally opens his eyes, as wide as saucers, and says, "you have what now?"

I laugh as he looks at me with his blown pupils. As my body shakes in amusement, I lean my forehead onto his shoulder and sigh, "do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Where is it?"

I laugh even louder and pull my head away from him, "where are my nipple piercings?"

Joel makes a face, "I wanna see."

I snigger, "well, my nipple piercings are on my nipples babe, I just don't have anything on."

He groans, "please tell me you still have them."

I let out giddy laugh and shift on his lap. I straddle him, raise a brow, and take his hands, placing them on my breasts, "what? Are my bare nips no longer enough for you?"

Joel straightens up and gives my flesh a squeeze before leaning in to place a kiss on my neck. The gruff sound he makes, paired with the scratch of his stubble, makes my body flinch in slight retreat away from him.

He pursues my skin and uses one hand to grab the side of my head to keep me in place. He bites down on my skin quickly then mutters, "never... just... remember you're with a greasy old man and you can't just say things like that and expect no repercussions."

"Repre-" I bust a lung laughing. I throw my head back, and he takes my nape in support.

Joel, though a smirk played on his lips, was not smiling because he was amused. He tugs me forward and brushes his nose against my jaw, "I gotta make that fantasy happen."

"Fantasy?" I blow a raspberry, "it's not a fantasy! I still have my piercings."

Joel suddenly falls limp as he leans back. He look like he just witnessed the descent of an angel. His jaw slacks, "you're kidding."

I grin, "at some point, I thought it was ridiculous to have bling on my breasts cos the world was burning, but then I realized, I should have even more bling cos the world is burning, ya know," I raise my brows, "so I raided a bunch of jewelry shops one time-"

"YOU'RE KIDDING-"

I laugh and lightly slap his lips. I furrow my brows at his beaming expression.

Joel shakes his head, "WHY HAVE YOU NEVER WORN THEM?!"

"Well, not everyone's into-"

"Wear something for me!" Joel squeezes my hips, "Please, please, let it be my dying wish. I-"

"You're so dramatic, dying wish-

"-wanna see my pretty baby-"

"-you're not even that old!"

"-wear bling on her pretty nipples."

Joel begins to attack my neck and digs his fingers underneath my shirt. I chuckle at his eagerness and let out a soft whimper as he drags me close to him.

"Is that a gun in your pocket?"

He hums, "I'm just happy to see you, sugar plum."

I snort and allow him a few more moments before pushing him off, "okay, but you have to do something in return."

He makes the mistake of retorting, "anything," before I even gave my ultimatum.

I give him a devilish smirk and place one hand on his jaw, brushing his lips, "I stole a piercing gun too... let me pierce your lips."

Joel's face immediately drops.

I hold back a giggle, "nuh-uh. No take backsies."

He is immediately mortified. He is so mortified, he, in fact, releases me and looks away.

I snicker like an unruly child and click my tongue, "oh, come on grampa," I take his face and force him too look at me. He, alas, shuts his eyes. I press my lips into a grin, "I promise you won't even feel it."

Joel open his eyes, just to give me a stank look, "and how you gon' manage that?"

I roll my eyes and chuckle, "you underestimate me? Ha!"

Some time later:

Ellie walks in and sees Joel with an ice pack on his chin. She makes a face, "you run into a post or what?" Joel is unamused, "or what." "He's being dramatic," I chime in. "You try getting your lip pierced," Joel mutters lowly. Ellie's face drops, "wait-- you got your lip pierced?!" "😑 I was peer pressured." "HA! Peer pressured, he says." Joel furrows his brows, "I was! 😠" "Wait!" Ellie raises her hands, "show me." "Take a hike." "It's not even that swollen!" I rebut. "You don't know swollen, honey." I roll my eyes. "HOLD ON!" Ellie stretches her hands out, "how did he get his lip pierced!?!" "Well, I got my piercing gun and-" "YOU HAVE A PIERCING GUN?!😲🤯😱" Joel makes an annoyed sound. "I WANNA GET A PIERCING TOO!😀" "No 😠" "Sure 🤭" Joel and I turn to each other. I look away after seeing his glare and give Ellie a smile and shrug, "can you promise to clean it regularly?" Ellie nods her head rapidly. I walk over to her. Joel rolls his eyes, "you better keep her piercings on her ear." "Yes, grampa," I retort. "Where else could you even get pie- Oh, right, the lips... hey, Joel, can I see w--" "Fuck off, kid," "....wow, jeez..." "Joel 🤬🔪. Apologize to Ellie right now." ".... sorry, honey." "If you're sorry, you'll show me... jerk 😋" Joel sighs and pulls his ice pack away. Ellie immediately lets out a gurgling sound of held-back-laughter. She clears her throat and raises a thumb, "that's hot 👍" Joel rolls his eyes and turns to me, "you better wear that pink sparkly jewel one later." "Later? 🤨 I'm wearing them now." "..." "..." "..." "Hey, Ellie, I'm just gonna need her to help me check on my wound in the bathroom real quick." "Ugh, what! You're such a baby, Joel," Ellie groans. "He is 🙄."

#joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller fic #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fic #the last of us fluff #the last of us x reader #the last of us crackfic #the last of us crack fic #joel miller crackfic #joel miller crack fic #joel x reader

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angelbambisworld · 29 days

Text

WARNING:NSFW!!!

I finally did it. I sought out Gene's sex tape despite everyone's warning not to. Here are my following thoughts(In no particular order)

1. Why does my silly little pookie bear have everything off except for his shirt? He's so silly 🥰 Show us your tits, damn it!🤬

Also his pants were still around his ankles but that's pretty small potatoes compared to all the other shit.

2. I don't know why the tape is in black and white. I wanna see Gene blow that girls back out in glorious technicolor, goddamnit!

3. People clown on Gene for doing that girl while Foreigner's "I Wanna Know What Love Is" played in the background but idk. There's something oddly adorable about a guy who hypes himself up as this nefarious hot daddy sex god and he's fucking someone to a slow and sweet love song. What a fucking goofball. We have to stan (People still say words like "Stan" in 2024 right?)

4. Yeah the sex was kinda mid but like what did people expect. I think Gene was like in his 50s or 60s when the tape came out. Old people just fuck differently than young people. That's just how it is sometimes. Luckily they make dick pills for just such troubles, I think 🤔 Unfortunately I still am in good faith that he could get me off. It's Gene, after all 😅

5. That rockstar dick list wasn't lying, Gene is of average size and I want that thing in my mouth so so bad😭. It seriously looks mouthwatering delicious to me(But maybe thats just the insomnia talking rn. I've been up all night 🥲 When i could be going Uh! All Night with Gene instead😂🤣😭)

I swear the only way out of my obsession with him is through euthanization

6. At one point Gene tries to kiss the girl but she keeps turning away from him(See this is why it should've been me he was fucking. He would've walked out of that room COVERED in lipstick marks.)

7. I'm shocked there was no pussy eating at any point. Disappointed!

8. Even back then, Gene's ass was fat and jiggly. And I pray it continues to stay that way forever 😤🙏🙏

9. Gene's dad bod has me going positively bonkers as usual🥵

Overall, I thought it was...Interesting, to say the very least. Its definitely not as disgusting as everyone hypes it up to be, in my eyes. But now I know what sex with Gene Simmons is like and the worst part is???

All this new information I've learned only makes me want him MORE!!!😭😭😭

I truly am Gene's nastiest fangirl.

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toastedkiwi · 9 months

Note

Surgeon Bruce trying to be sexy for intern reader (like wearing a fancy and opened robe. Having a rose and glass of wine in his hands leaning back on a public surface like the kitchen table) and getting caught not by intern reader but instead all of his brothers and both of his parents who walk in and are all talking before going from this 😄😊😆😇😇😇 to 🤯😱🤢🤮😡🤬😤

WAIT! He’s spreading out rose petals and lighting candles. This is his own penthouse. Alfred is supposed to be the only one who has a key to said penthouse but of course many have stolen it and made copies. These assholes bust in ready to annoy Bruce. And to go with the black silky robe, he’s wearing these playboy bunny boxer briefs.

Jason screams like a little girl and panickly starts blowing out the candles.

Tim is like “at least he’s not naked.” And he turns away.

Dick is cackling.

Martha is trying to push them all out while apologizing profusely.

Thomas is snagging some chocolate covered strawberries and happily eating one.

Bruce is completely red and pulling the robe closed. He’s hoping to god that intern!reader doesn’t come in.

#surgeon!bruce wayne x intern!reader

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nametakensff · 10 months

Note

Steve and Eddie- 💦🤬⛈

Thank you for the prompt, anon! ❤️ Here's just over 6k of these dumb guys being in love

E/ddie is in a grumpy mood and hoping that his date with S/teve will cheer him up - but a sudden rainstorm and bout of insecurity might get in the way of that

(I kind of based this after this fic and before all my others where they've been together for a while - I still need to write a fic about them getting together in this sort of AU I've gradually created - but you don't need to read anything else though, it's ultimately just snz porn 😅)

~~~~~~

Content: M/M, Established (but relatively new) relationship, both S/teve and E/ddie have the fetish, E/ddie gets off to his own sneezing, pollen allergies, a LOT of mess (not too graphic but just in case!), blow jobs, cumming in pants, little bit of humiliation, just guys being dudes

CW: Just in case, characters feeling insecure about the fetish momentarily

NSFW, minors dni etc etc etc

“Heh-ENGXtchh!! NGXtchhh!! IGXT’chieww!! Ehdt’TCHIEWW!! FUCK, man…”

Eddie swiped under his nose for what felt like the fiftieth time since the start of this latest Corroded Coffin jam session. Gareth had closed the garage door for him in an attempt to fend off the offending pollen, but the damage had already been done – long before he’d even arrived, if he was being honest. These fucking allergies.

He pointedly ignored the somewhat wary round of blessings his bandmates offered. He was embarrassed as hell, normally able to stifle his hay fever into submission quite successfully if need be. He didn’t care so much about Gareth seeing him this way, not when he’d seen much, much worse over the years – but he didn’t feel like having a full-on allergy attack in front of anyone who wasn’t Steve right now, and even that was debatable. He cleared his throat and stood tall.

“Okay, second chorus, from the top!”

His voice broke slightly mid-sentence and he almost ground his teeth in frustration. This was a bad fucking allergy day. Normally he would have called band practice off with some half-assed excuse to avoid the aggravation. He should have learned about trying to suppress his sneezing for too long, especially after the recent humiliating debacle where he had what could only be described as a semi-nuclear allergic reaction at Steve’s house, in front of all his new friends. That everyone had been super cool about it, and that the discovery of his and Steve’s mutual fetish from that night had urged him to pursue the younger man, was irrelevant. He liked attention, craved it, but only if it was the kind that he cultivated willingly for himself.

Luckily, the sheer grumpiness he was experiencing today was somewhat working to curtail the inconvenient physiological response he was prone to after a consistent bout of sneezing. His cock was cowering away from him, not unlike the rest of Corroded Coffin, for which he was entirely grateful. Being in a bad mood still sucked - he took no pleasure in this moodiness. Tyranny was only fun if he was in complete control of his own emotions.

Gareth counted them in and they started up again. For about twenty minutes Eddie was able to forget his allergies and play for all he was worth. He’d been working on his vocals, trying his best to project from his diaphragm rather than screaming his throat sore, and he was thrilled to find that it was actually making a difference. He didn’t have that long to appreciate it, however, spinning away from his friends mid-song with a sudden wrenching gasp, falling into a fit of violent sneezes.

“IGT’TCHiewww!! Ehh’NGXTT’Chieww!! DZZ’Shieww!! HAGT’TCHieww!!”

They tickled so much his eyes swam with tears. They were also, to his chagrin, particularly high-pitched and desperate sounding. His cock twitched minutely for a moment in his pants and he blushed, hiding in his hair as much as he was able whilst his body spasmed under the assault. This was no good, no good at all. He reared back for the definitive sneeze of the fit, massive inhale stretching his chest to capacity.

“HEHH-ENGXTCHH’tsiewww!!!”

Holy fuck, that had been big. Not only that, it had been messy. He clapped a hand to his face to conceal the productive results, blush burning his cheeks. Still angled away from his bandmates, he fumbled for his bandana, cursing when he came up empty. Just his fucking luck. He sniffled reflexively, cringing at the thick crackling sound of it.

“Gross, dude…”

He span round immediately, anger and humiliation pulsing through him in waves.

“Why don’t you fuck off, Tim!” He spat, trying his best to look intimidating behind the hand clamped to his face.

“Oookay, guys, let’s take five, yeah?” Jeff sighed, placing his guitar neatly up against an amp before making his way into Gareth’s house. He slapped Tim on the shoulder, urging him to follow. Tim gave Eddie one last pointed glare before taking the hint and skulking off through the garage door. Eddie watched him leave, snuffling into his hand.

Gareth, who had silently watched the whole thing unfold from behind his drum kit, made his way over to a stack of shelves in the corner, retrieving a half empty box of tissues. He would never tell Eddie that he’d left it there specifically for him and that nobody had used it before or since the last time he’d been suffering with nasal difficulties at his house. He walked back over to his friend, punching him gently on the arm and pushing the box of tissues into his free hand.

“If I say ‘god bless you’, will you bite my head off?”

Eddie grumbled something that Gareth didn’t quite catch before turning around, balancing the box on his guitar and yanking a bundle of tissues out as best he could with one hand. The drummer gave him some privacy, mindlessly tinkering with the cymbals of his kit and trying his best not to wince at the incredibly thick nose blows that pierced the otherwise companionable silence.

The older man finished clearing out his sinuses as best he could and groaned. He hated losing his temper like that. Tim was right, of course – this was objectively gross, even if he would subjectively love to see Steve in the same state he was currently in. He leaned against the wall with his eyes closed, willing himself to lighten up.

“Bad allergy day?”

Eddie cracked open an eye and peered at Gareth, who was smiling with faux innocence back at him.

“Whadt tipped you off, Nandcy Drew?” He sniped, cringing only slightly at the additional Ds his swollen sinuses sprinkled into the sentence.

Gareth put his hands up in wordless surrender, smiling softly and deciding to leave it. Eddie was aware he was being handled like a recalcitrant beast with a thorn in its paw, and if it had been anyone other than the drummer he would have lashed out in response to the overcautious mollycoddling. But it was Gareth, so he merely closed his eyes again and listened as the drummer fucked around with various drum fills. He muffled another fit of itchy sneezes into a tissue, acknowledging the blessing from his friend with a nod.

“You seeing Steve today?” He heard Gareth ask after a beat.

“…Yeah. Unfortunately. I mean – because I’m – y’know.” Eddie gestured at his face.

“It’s no big deal, dude. He doesn’t seem like the type to care.”

Eddie knew that was an understatement. Steve fucking loved seeing him like this, and normally the metalhead would welcome the undivided attention and subsequent orgasms. But they were still so new, the pair of them – neither had been with a guy before (not that Eddie had really had much more experience with girls than a few drunken hand jobs at the senior parties he used to crash), and they were trying to take things slow. They hadn’t even formally named their relationship out loud, though it was obvious to the both of them this was far more than a mutual crush.

It wasn’t so much that Eddie wished they didn’t have this – shared interest, in sneezing. It was that he was painfully aware of how distracting he was being when he hung out with Steve. Sometimes he wanted to carry out a full conversation without sneezing himself breathless and leaving the younger man with a raging boner, driving himself wild in the process. Not that he could blame him – he’d just about lost his mind the first time Steve had sneezed against his neck, coming into the younger man’s hand in an embarrassingly short amount of time.

This allergy season had been so much worse than any other he could remember, and wondered if it had something to do with his stint in the upside down. It would be just his luck if all those nasty spores and particles had exacerbated his already impressive reactions to pollen. Even if it had been the catalyst to hooking up with Steve, even if he combusted with pleasure every time it earned him a blessing from the object of his desire, it was getting old, fast.

“Yeah, I know. But Tim is right, man – I’m gross. Sick of it.”

“Kid’s, like, not all there. I love the guy but he’s more than a little direct. You can’t take it to heart, man.”

Eddie nodded. He knew he was right. Tim was a socially awkward weirdo, the reason why they had all basically become friends in the first place. He was blunt, that was just the fact of the matter.

“Thanks, Gare. I just don’t want to fuck this up.”

“You won’t. I’ve seen the way Harrington looks at you – now that’s fucking gross. You googly eyed bastards eye-fucking each other, constantly. Yeah, don’t worry, he’s going nowhere.”

Eddie hurled a balled-up wad of tissues at him, laughing as he managed to hit the younger man square in the forehead and earning himself a disgusted shriek in response. He loved this stupid kid – he always seemed to know just what to say to cheer him up. He resolved to keep his temper for the rest of their jam sesh, nervously counting down the time to his date with Steve.

~~~~

He had to admit his low mood had at least been temporarily assuaged by the sight of Steve opening his door, a radiant smile on his face and visibly excited to see Eddie standing there. He drove the two of them out into a particularly scenic clearing he’d found in the woods – nobody else went out there anymore – and nervously laid out a ratty old picnic blanket and the food he brought with him. He felt pretty unoriginal, maybe kind of predictable, but Steve seemed thrilled all the same. Eddie’s cheeks hurt from smiling more in the past couple of months getting to know the younger man than he could remember ever before in his life. Maybe Gareth was right – they were googly eyed bastards. But no one else was around to see, so Eddie happily let Steve lay him down on the blanketed ground and suck a pattern of hickeys onto the column of his neck.

So far, his allergies were giving him minimal trouble. In the couple of hours after he’d woken up at noon (band practice was only at 1pm, so sue him), he’d been at his worst and taken a second round of allergy medication – probably just under the amount it would take him to get loopy off of the stuff. It had worked though, to a certain extent. He was still having little semi-regular fits of four or five, much to Steve’s appreciation, but it was just enough that he didn’t feel like a total mess.

He moaned as Steve sucked particularly hard at the junction of his neck and shoulder, vaguely aware of a creeping tickle lurking just beneath the surface. He sniffled and gripped harder at the fabric stretched over Steve’s muscular back, pressing his hips up against the thigh the younger man had lodged firmly between his legs. He continued to lean into the pleasure until the tickle proved too much – it felt even stronger than before, buzzing insistently and with malicious intent. Fuck, yeah, he was definitely going to –

“S-Steve, mm’gonna-!! HDDZ’tschh!! Higxtt!! Heh’ENGXTCH’ieww! ‘Tssieww!!”

He rocked upwards with the force of them, attempting to suppress them as much as he was able. He aimed them over Steve’s shoulder, delicate clouds of spray misting the thin fabric of his t-shirt. His cock throbbed against the younger man’s thigh as his own legs reflexively squeezed around it, forcing a gasp out of him. Steve tensed before moaning against him, redoubling his efforts and sucking even harder.

“Bless you, Eds. You’re so allergic.”

Eddie felt his face pinken. It was everything he’d been fantasising about months – being with Steve, Steve getting off on him, getting off to his sneezes – but somehow, in this moment, he felt more insecure than he had since his gnarly allergic meltdown months prior. It was so stupid – that whole thing had more than proven to him that Steve didn’t find him disgusting, that he could actually be perceived as attractive even at his absolute worst. He should be fine. Why wasn’t he fine?

The confusion and discomfort brought back his sour mood in an instant, and he gently pushed at Steve. To his credit, the younger man immediately backed off, helping Eddie sit up, a broad hand supporting his back.

“What’s wrong, dude? I didn’t – I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, no, you’re good. It’s just-“

“Allergies bothering you?”

Eddie looked at Steve, saw the genuine concern on his face, but also the way his eyes lit up over the mention of his allergies. His stomach flipped. God, what was wrong with him?

“It’s – it’s not that. I mean, yes, but it’s – it’s-“

He groaned in frustration, gripping his head in hands and leaning forward so that his long tresses fell over his face. Steve sat back, giving him a moment to collect his thoughts. Eddie could practically feel the anxious energy radiating off of him in waves. He had to fix this. He couldn’t let Steve think he was the problem. But god, was he? He opened his mouth to speak, not knowing quite what would come out but willing to give it a try.

“I feel like – and this is gonna sound so strange – but like – maybe you like my – my sneezing, more than you like me? And don’t get me wrong, I get it, man, I’m into the same shit – fuck, you know that. I just – can’t be sure, when I’m having these – reactions, that you’re, you know, with me because you actually like – well, me. Umm…”

He trailed off, letting the meaning of his well-intentioned rambling sink in. It sounded ridiculous, and he cringed waiting for Steve’s reprobation. Instead, he felt Steve gently tilting his head towards his own, forcing him to look into his eyes. He looked painfully sad. Eddie opened and closed his mouth, his vocal tenacity leaving him as quickly as it had come.

“Do I really make you feel that way?” Steve asked in a small voice.

He looked so crestfallen that Eddie had the distinct realisation that this must be what it felt like to kick a puppy.

“Steve, I’m sorry – just ignore what I said, man, it’s cool.”

He watched as the younger man shook his head.

“No. I can’t ignore it. Oh, man,”

Eddie watched him run a hand through his perfect hair, a distinctly anxious gesture.

“I’m not good at this, dude. I’m not good at making people happy. I’m always fucking up but I’m never sure why, and then it blindsides me.”

Eddie shook his head. He opened his mouth, wanting to reassure Steve that he made him happier than anyone he’d ever met before, but paused when the younger man raised a hand softly, signalling to let him finish.

“I try my best to do what I think I should be doing, but no matter what, I’m always waaay off the mark. I know how to hook up with people, but actually getting them to stay is something I just seem to be incapable of.”

He looked at Eddie and smiled. It looked so weary that his heart skipped a beat.

“If I came across, like, overly enthusiastic about the f-fetish stuff,” He faltered slightly, starting to blush. “I’m so sorry. I’ve never been in this position before, and I thought since you liked it too, I didn’t need to hold back. What I mean to say is – I’m good with sex, that’s what I know best. But clearly I’ve done a terrible job of making you realise how much I like you. Because I do like you, man – haven’t felt this way since anyone but Nance, and even then – this is just – it’s a lot.”

Eddie nodded, watching him intently. Steve ran his hand through his hair again.

“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry. For making you feel like I was using you just for sex or to scratch some perverted itch. I’m not very smart. I mean, everyone knows that.”

“Steve.”

“And I’m not sure how to make you see that I’m pretty much crazy about you. I thought maybe if I just – showed you in the way I know best-“

“Steve.”

Eddie reached out for him and pulled him into a fierce hug. Steve practically melted in his arms, the emotional spiral Eddie had sensed building up blessedly abating under his touch.

“I like you too. A stupid amount. And I don’t think I did a very good job of letting you know, either.”

He pulled back to look Steve in the eyes.

“I mean, what gives, man? It sounded like you thought I wanted to stop seeing you, or something.”

When Steve gave an awkward shrug, Eddie’s jaw dropped open.

“Harrington, you cannot be serious. Tell me you didn’t genuinely think I wanted to end things with you over that pathetic little monologue of mine?”

“Like I said, man. I’m dumb.”

“Ughh, Steve, you need to stop with this low self-esteem shit, honey,” The pet name slipped out before he could help it, but it didn’t seem to bother the younger man, who snuggled even closer to him.

“How about this? I stop ragging on myself when you actually let yourself believe that I want to be with you for more than a gratuitous lay, alright?” Steve said, jabbing him in the chest with an outstretched finger.

“Ooh, big word.”

“Fuck off!”

Steve wrestled him to the ground, pinning Eddie onto his back whilst the metalhead laughed with raucous abandon. Steve silenced him with a kiss.

“I’m serious, Munson. Wanna be with you. And I’ll back off with the – the sneezing stuff, if you want.”

Eddie smirked up at him.

“Jesus, you’re cute when you’re flustered. And god no, please don’t stop! You’ve convinced me. You like me, I like you, grass is green. We’re both not very good at this. I think we should kiss over it.”

Steve smiled down at him and leaned in to resume their making out when Eddie felt the familiar plip of a droplet of moisture bursting against his cheek. He thought Steve might have actually drooled on him for a split second, when there was another small splash against his forehead. And another. And another.

He craned his neck back to peer up at the sky. Clear and serenely blue only minutes earlier, it was now brimming with chubby, grey rainclouds.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!”

And with that, the heavens opened up.

~~~~

Eddie was pissed. No, that was an understatement – he was livid. He hadn’t had the foresight to expect rain – a summer storm, a typical occurrence in Hawkins, and yet. He’d been so set on taking Steve on a traditional, normal date that he had effectively mentally eliminated any alternative outcomes to their outing other than a romantic little picnic in the afternoon sun, followed by cuddling and sex. Maybe escalating beyond the hand jobs they’d been trading, if they were feeling a little braver.

“God DAMMIT-!” He cursed as the rain seemed to pound down even harder. Luckily, they’d been able to locate a sheltered area on the edge of the clearing and duck into it before it really started to pour, escaping with minimal dampness. And it was warm, so at least they wouldn’t freeze. However, they’d abandoned the blanket and food in their single-minded urgency, realising only after they’d scurried well out of sight from them. His irritation at this mindless fuck up was only further stoked by the physical discomfort he was currently enduring. The way his wet bangs clung to his forehead felt disgusting; his sneakers were damp and his jeans clung to ankles. Alone, these sensations and gripes were inconsequential – but combined, they were a lethal mood killer.

He felt Steve reach out and squeeze his shoulder in consolation. When Eddie didn’t respond, staring moodily down at his own knees as he sat hugging them to his chest, Steve reached out and pulled him into a clumsy side-hug. The older man grunted, not thrilled about feeling even more wet fabric pressed up against his own sopping clothes, but enjoying the physical closeness nonetheless.

“You’re such a grump. A cute little grump.”

Steve murmured in his ear, sending shivers down his spine. Eddie knew he could feel the responsive trembling, lips curling into a smile against the shell of his ear.

“Come on, Eds. Compared to what we’ve both been through? This is nothing.”

Eddie sighed, finding that although his bitterness persisted, Steve’s presence was a welcoming distraction.

“Somehow, Stevie, that doesn’t really make me feel any better.”

“Want me to sing you a song? I do a really good Phil Collins.”

The metalhead snorted and butted Steve’s cheek gently with his own.

“You do not. I was present for that Karaoke fiasco, Harrington. Leave it to the professionals.” He jabbed at his own chest with a thumb.

“Whatever, man. You liiiked it.” Steve sing-songed against his jawline.

Eddie meant to respond, but was stopped dead in his tracks by the familiar but daunting sensation of an intensely allergic tickle beginning to culminate. He moaned, reaching up with a fist and roughly mashing his nose around, hoping to bully the urge into submission, but no cigar. He could hear the damp squishing noise his sinuses made, worrying his nostrils pink with the effort. He had forgotten temporarily that if anything seemed to aggravate his allergies even more, it was rain.

He glanced at Steve, already feeling his eyelids fluttering in preparation for the release.

“Hh-Hh!! Steve, really gonnnnaa-hah..!! Hh, Start sneezing in a minute, fuck….”

He took in the hungry expression on Steve’s face, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. He managed a little smirk at the way Steve’s eyes flitted about his face, taking in his flaring nostrils one moment, his furrowed brow the next. He sniffled, more to watch how Steve would react, but then realising he was a lot stuffier than he had originally thought.

“Ugh, I’m probably gonna….make a hh-HH!! Hahh mess….”

He heard the soft sound the younger man made in the back of his throat, felt the way the arm slung around his shoulders pulled him incrementally closer.

“That’s ok, Eds. I don’t mind.”

“Mmm, I’m sure you don’t, big boy…Hh!!”

Steve blushed and shot him a bashful little smile. It was probably one of the cutest things Eddie had ever seen, and he suddenly felt just as shy as Steve looked.

“Can I…keep holding you? While you sneeze? Is that ok?”

Eddie pressed a pair of fingers under his flaring nostrils, temporarily abating the building tickle just enough to respond.

“M-more than okaayyy-HH!! Wanted that f-for-! Months, now!! Ohhh, Steve, Mm’gonna-!! Need’ta-!!”

“I’ve got you, baby.”

Eddie’s head swam at the sudden pet name, feeling as if he’d hurtled over the peak of the world’s tallest roller coaster. For a moment, the butterflies and giddiness threatened to overwhelm the need to sneeze, but as always, the tickle in his nose reigned supreme. He sucked in one final choppy breath before he was sent sprawling forward, helpless as the pollen teased him breathless.

“Hh-HHDT!! DZZSSHH’IEWW!! H’ENGXT’TCHIEEWW!! IGSSCH!! GXXT’Shieww!!”

He felt Steve pulling him closer, turning him effortlessly towards him so that he was halfway into his lap and sneezing towards his chest. Each sneeze felt as if they only exacerbated the tickle, leaving him gasping, tears starting to spill down his cheeks.

“HIGG’Shiewww!! EhhHDT’Tchieww!! IGXXT’tsieww!! HHhohh my godddDXXSH’Ieww!! Hahh!”

Everywhere Steve touched him, he burned in exquisite agony. His nostrils flared in and out as the tickle toyed with him, breath hitching dramatically. He knew he was making a scene; knowing that Steve was hanging on to his every gasp and sigh made the experience all the more pleasurable. His cock throbbed in his jeans.

“EHH’GXXTT’SHIieww!! HGSHHH!! GSHHH’ieww!! EHH’NGXTTtchhh!!”

His nose was running down to his top lip now, dangerously close to overflowing. He reached up with a shaky hand, intending to cover, but felt Steve grasp him by the wrist and gently lower it again. By this point, the younger man had shifted him to sit completely in his lap, and as Eddie hitched towards another round of impossibly tickly sneezes, Steve gently pressed his head down to lean against his shoulder. Eddie gripped frantically at the cotton of Steve’s shirt, grounding himself, before sneezing violently down and across the younger man’s chest. He could hear Steve mumbling reassuringly to him throughout.

“Holy shit, Munson, Bless you – Bless you! So tickly…It’s okay, I’ve got you. You sound so good, Eds. So hot. Fuckkk….Bless you, bless you!”

Eddie’s face was burning, both with the effort of the overwhelming reaction to the pollen and the intoxicating pleasure his own sneezes sent pulsing through his body. He would rather someone else sneeze, but damn if his own didn’t get him going when they rendered him a helpless mess like this. His cock twitched with every expulsion, the releases that burst out of him sending pleasant shivers rippling from the base of his skull to the tips of his fingers and toes. Steve’s breathless encouragement only intensified the experience for him.

“hh-HH-HDDT-!! HIGGG’TSHHIEWW!! TSSHIEWW!! EHHSHHH’IEWww!! ENGGXTCHHH!!!”

He felt mess burst from his flared nostrils with that last body-crunching sneeze, sending twin tendrils hanging over his lips. He felt Steve wipe most of it away with his bare fingers, and the kinkiness of the gesture made his hips buck. And still he sneezed.

“GGGSSHH’IIEWW!! Hh, HEH!! Heh’EGXTT’SHieww!! HNGXTCHH!! GXXXTT’Shiewww!!”

Finally, it felt like the tickle was cresting into a definitive, final explosion. He moaned, not sure if he could handle something of the magnitude the building sensation promised, but all the same he was gasping, head jogging against Steve’s shoulder, back expanding within Steve’s embrace. He hitched once, twice, three times before the sneeze held him on the edge in a silent grimace – and then he was lurching forward, almost sending the pair of them sprawling backwards onto the forest floor with the force of it.

“HEEEIHHHH’DZZZTSHHIEWWW!!! Hahhh-!”

He panted, nuzzling his nose against Steve’s shoulder and wrapping his arms round his waist. Dizzy and exhausted, he slumped against the solid weight of the younger man, luxuriating in the aftermath of that all-encompassing fit. He was painfully hard now. He felt Steve stroking his hair and rubbing his back with broad, open-palmed strokes. He opened his bleary eyes for the first time since his fit had begun, previously unable to do so under the persistent assault.

“Jesus Christ…”

He muttered under his breath, taking in the extent of the damage he’d caused. Steve’s baby blue shirt was almost transparent where it clung to his chest, saturated with the result of Eddie’s impressive allergies as it was. There was further mess dripping slowly downwards, gluing the shirt to his abdomen as it sunk into the fabric. He tentatively looked up at Steve, not quite knowing if he had crossed over the delicate line of sexy to disgusting. One quick glance at the former jock’s ruined expression was all it took to reassure him that he was still very much securely in the sexy camp. He smiled coyly.

“Told you I’d make a mess.” He sniffled for emphasis and rubbed his runny nose against Steve’s shoulder until it sported twin damp patches.

Steve kissed into his hair, and Eddie noticed that he was panting too.

“That was – amazing. Holy shit. I mean – wow!!”

Eddie laughed fondly at how winded the other man sounded, more than a little pleased with himself. It felt so good to sneeze as hard as his body desired, and to know that he was turning King Steve on by being a sloppy, allergic mess was more than a little erotic. He felt like he’d come with just a few brisk jerks of his cock.

“Mm’glad you liked it.” He giggled shyly, a little loopy in the aftermath of it all.

Steve lifted his head up gently by the chin, scanning his face with eyes full of emotion.

“Are you okay?? Fuck, that was so intense. Your allergies, man….”

Eddie nodded.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I mean, you heard me – before, at your place. It can get a little – ridiculous, if I’m not on top of medication. Or when I’m outside in the elements. Or when it rains – god, especially when it rains!”

Steve laughed.

“Yeah, man, I see that now.” He reached down to touch the slick fabric of his shirt. Eddie didn’t miss the way his breath caught as his fingers slipped over it.

Emboldened, he wiped his nose roughly along the back of his hand and a little further up his arm, grateful to be wearing a sleeveless shirt, before gripping Steve by the collar and pulling his head close.

“Want me to get you off, Harrington? Want me to make you come all over the forest floor?” He murmured against Steve’s lips.

Eddie was expecting a moan of some kind, but not the half-strangled groan that Steve emitted, reaching up to cover his burning face with a broad, tan hand. Confused, the metalhead reached down to grip Steve’s erection – finding a distinctly soft cock and a huge wet patch spread across the mouth-wateringly tight Levi’s that the younger man favoured. He gaped, eyes round in surprise, and stared at Steve in a look of silent amazement. Steve peered at him through the protective cage of his fingers and moaned again.

“I – it’s because – you were so-! And I-!”

As Steve flailed and spluttered, a grin spread wider and wider across Eddie’s face. Holy shit. He had made Steve motherfucking Harrington come in has pants, untouched. He had done that. Holy shit.

“Stevie, did you jizz in your pants for little old me?” He drawled, delighting in the deepening blush that spread all the way to the tips of the younger man’s ears. He leaned forward and gently bit one, feeling the heat of the blood radiating from the delicate skin.

“…Yes. I did. I swear, I’m not-! This hasn’t happened before. You’re just…so hot,” Steve admitted, leaning into the tiny kisses that Eddie pressed along the bridge of his nose and the apples of his cheeks.

“So sensitive, Stevie. I like that.”

He kissed Steve firmly on the mouth, both of them moaning at the sensation of Eddie’s slick nostrils and cupid’s bow pressing up against Steve’s own nose. The older man gasped at the sudden grip of Steve’s palm cupping him through his jeans, thrusting into it instinctively. He was about several pumps away from coming into his pants himself when Steve released his hold. Eddie whined, his hips chasing the receding hand in vain. He looked up at the younger man impatiently.

“Can I suck you off?”

Eddie’s mouth dropped open. He hadn’t been expecting that. But the answer was an absolute, resounding yes.

“Please,” he whined against Steve’s mouth, feeling the younger man smile before starting to push him back onto the soft grass and up against the roots of a tree. It wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world, but the desire he felt for Steve eclipsed the minor discomfort. He watched as Steve eagerly unzipped his jeans and pulled out his cock, pumping it softly but firmly enough that Eddie’s head knocked back against the tree trunk with a gentle thunk. Steve paused for a moment.

“I should, uh, say – neither of us have been with guys before, so – this is my first time giving head. Sucking cock, I mean. I’m sorry if I’m not all that good after talking such a big game about sex before.”

Eddie let him finish, nodding his head.

“Well, Steve, rest assured that no matter what you do to me, you and your mouth have the unprecedented honour of taking my oral virginity. So go wild, honey.”

Steve blinked at him.

“Really?! You’ve never gotten a blow job before, not even once?”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Now I know it may come as a total shocker to the likes of you, pretty boy, but being the leader of the Hellfire Club and resident freak didn’t exactly leave me swimming in pussy. You’re my first almost everything, basically – or the only person that ever mattered.”

Steve started to jerk him off again.

“Aww, Eds…”

“Don’t patronise me, Harrington, I swear to god.”

“Sorry. Let me make it up to you.”

And with that, Steve took his cock into his mouth and sucked hard. Eddie groaned, reaching forward to grip gently at Steve’s hair but stopping just short, hands hovering in question. Steve peered up at him before guiding his hands to rest on his scalp.

“Just don’t pull hard, okay?”

“ohhh-kayy-ee!!” Eddie whimpered as Steve began to suck and lick him in a punishing rhythm, using one hand to jerk the rest of his cock he couldn’t fit in his mouth. The older man’s eyes rolled back into his head, once again thunking gently against the tree. Steve was a god damn natural. It felt just as good to have a mouth round his cock as he had imagined, moreso, even.

He panted, expression twisted in ecstasy, and looked down the length of his body to watch Steve work. They locked eyes, Eddie unable to look away as Steve’s head bobbed rhythmically, looking prettier than anyone had any right to as their cheek bulged with cock. He wouldn’t last – it was so good, too good, and he was already so on edge.

“God, Stevie, think you're gonna make me come already…! Oh god, oh fuck-!!”

Steve moaned, the vibrations travelling down Eddie’s cock and wrenching a keening wail from him. His eyes scrunched shut, mind replaying the intense sensations of his sneezing fit, the way Steve had held him, the way Steve had actually come in his pants over Eddie spraying him with snot – these pleasurable thoughts combined with a particularly strong suck against the head of his cock pushed him over the edge, coming with a wordless groan. The pleasure was intense, his strongest orgasm in a while, leaving his toes curling in his sneakers. When it finally subsided, he could only moan stupidly, fingers flexing in Steve’s hair.

He felt Steve pulling off of him, and watched as he spat a mouthful of cum onto the ground beside them. Eddie grinned goofily at him, endorphins overloading his system and making this sight far funnier than it should otherwise be.

“You’ll let me snot all over your chest, but you won’t swallow my cum?”

Steve shot him an overly dramatic look of disgust.

“You need to work on your diet.”

Eddie kicked at him feebly. Steve gently tucked him back into his pants and zipped them up.

“So…was I any good?” He grinned in a way that showed he knew just how well he’d done.

“You know you were, asshole. Are you sure that’s the first cock you sucked?”

“Well….I managed to reach the tip of my own with my tongue, one time.” Steve said nonchalantly, pulling Eddie upwards into a sitting position.

“Ha! Better than I managed. Almost threw my back out, and for what?” They both laughed at that.

“Hey, rain’s stopped!” Steve blurted out so suddenly Eddie nearly jumped.

“Shit, finally!”

Eddie made his way to his feet, shaking slightly as his legs were still a little wobbly in the aftermath of his first blow job ever. Steve stood up beside him and slapped him on the back in that distinctive fashion that all jocks and former jocks would continue to do for the rest of their lives.

“Let’s go find the stuff and then we can head to m-my place…Hh!!”

Eddie’s ears perked up immediately. He spun round and watched in delight as Steve barrelled forward with a sudden harsh triple, aimed haphazardly into an upraised elbow.

“HARRESSSHHIEWW!! AESSSHHHUU!! HHRRRSHHH’UU!! Ugh, god…’scuse me.” He sniffled and gently swiped under his nose with a crooked finger.

Even though he was still practically reeling in the aftermath of the orgasm he’d had not minutes earlier, Eddie’s spent cock gave an appreciative little twitch at the spraying sound of those powerful sneezes.

“Bless you, Stevie. Your timing is a little off, but I’ll take it.”

Steve laughed and nudged him gently with his shoulder, looking even more pleased with himself.

“The damp’s getting to me a little. Come home with me? It’s warm and we can…clean up.” He gestured towards his ruined t-shirt.

“Yeah. I’d like that. And Steve?” Eddie said as they made their way towards the clearing.

“Mmhm?”

“I think I want you to come in my mouth next.”

Steve yanked him forward by the wrist, breaking out into a half-run and slipping haphazardly on the wet grass, and Eddie laughed until tears pricked at the corner of his eyes.

~~~~~~

(Idk why I always write Steve cumming in his pants lmao.....he just looks like he would to me😤)

#nametakenfic #s/tranger t/hings #sneezefic #sneeze kink #snz fet #snzblr #snz kink #snzfucker

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thegreymoon · 3 months

Text

The Story of Minglan

And all the wrong people are now paying attention.

Madam Wang isn't even the worst of it. Poor Minglan.

Fuck you, Qi Heng.

***

Wait, what, since when is Changbai engaged?

And who is the girl??

The last time they discussed this, Madam Wang tried to suggest some cousin from her maiden home and Old Madam shut it down.

IT IS UNFAIR THAT THIS WENT DOWN OFF-SCREEN. CHANGBAI ALSO DESERVES SOME DRAMA, ROMANCE AND SCANDALS!

***

God, this woman is stupid. She means well, but she is just not smart at all. Her grandfather, the third-ranked scholar of Hanlin, is turning in his grave like a rotisserie chicken.

She's lucky she has the head maid to think for her.

***

LMAO, oh, she is thinking alright!

Rulan has a good head on her shoulders, which she certainly did not inherit from her mother.

***

Oh, baby 😢

I cried for an hour after Mistress Wei died. That whole scene messed me up.

***

OH FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

I am REALLY going to enjoy whatever it is that happens to him later. ž

***

He's such a selfish imbecile. I can't believe she has to spell this out for him.

***

At this rate, I will not wait for the story to kick him! I will choke on my rage like Shen Qingqiu and transmigrate just to kick him myself!!! 🤬

***

Minglan, baby you are surrounded by imbeciles.

***

You are so stupid, godbless 😅

***

Good girl, Minglan.

***

Oh, yes, go tell your royal mother that, and see how well it will go over 🙄

***

He let you win and you don't even realise it, you absolute child.

***

What kind of question is that?

She's her MOTHER that she watched die in agony, you witch, of course she's ~sentimental~ 🙄🙄

***

When do these irritating maids finally get smacked? This pink one and that idiotic one that is infatuated with Changfeng are particularly infuriating.

***

OH MY GOD.

***

Smh. I knew this would not end without trouble.

Fucking Molan, this was her doing.

***

Eh, it could have been worse.

So, she kneels. She still has the keys and management of the house.

The Lin courtyard can just die mad about it.

***

Aww, these cuties!!

These babies are so smol, look how big actual chicks are next to them 😂😂

***

LMAO, I will thoroughly enjoy watching this blow up in his face.

***

Oh, Nanny 😔 We still have a long way to go before he's respectable.

#the story of minglan #tsoml spoilers #tsoml ep17

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atlasnessie · 9 months

Note

Hi! Can I request a reader who decides to bring a box full of kittens back to ADA? I've been thinking about this for a while and I feel like it would be cute to see their reactions? (Pls include Fukuzawa) and can it be platonic?

Have a good day! :3

they would be blowing up oh my god

fukuzawa, if he’s in the building, is gonna have to excuse himself and walk out of the office or into his office and jump up and down like a school girl and get is little cat treats 😻😻

kunikida … 😐 errmm

hes like ‘WHY DID YOU BRING FOUR LEGGED FELINES INTO OUR FACILITY WE DONT DO THAT HERE 🤬’

i feel like dazai is just kinda like ‘oh em gee it’s atsushi yipeee !!’ and just bother kunikida about it, picking up the cats and shoving it in his face

atsushi, kyouka, and yosano are probably the most normal ones out of them all … they’re just like awww and like ‘atsushi that literally you oh my god ☹️☹️’

ranpo is trying to bring fukuzawa back to the group, saying how the cats gonna b gone and how he ‘better hurry up or else kunikidas gonna kick the cats out lmaoo’

idk man the tanizaki siblings r weird naomi’s discussing on getting a cat with junichiro and he’s sobbing and crying he doesn’t want a cat rn naomi is a handful enough 😿😿

#hi goys i’m literally so unmotivated lately i srsly cant write lately i have so many drafts but i never finish them sorry 😿#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd ada #bsd armed detective agency #atlas writes !#will edit tags later !

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