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#holy shit imagine
richierambles · 1 month
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yknow... when my friend first told me garrison went straight man -> gay man -> straight trans woman -> lesbian trans woman, i didnt believe her
now, well... holy fuck man
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jyslacefront · 1 year
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i dont watch succession, but I had a dream that the dad from that show died after getting very worked up about pronouns. judging from everyones posts about it, i guess i wasn't too far off?
I don't watch succession either but this is the funniest ask I've ever received in my life oh my god. I have no clue how logan roy died but im fully adopting this belief thank u.
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boomerang109 · 5 months
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two things that are true on this morning
my health continues to get better and i am so grateful for that, it’s like becoming a new person
my 78 year old grandmother is doing so many things in a day and i simply cannot imagine doing that many things i keep not helping as much as i want to because i’m in pain. she’s 78!!!
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finedinereception · 3 months
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“lilith got charlie in the divorce” “lucifer got charlie in the divorce” actually alastor got her
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thatboisus · 3 months
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tumblr writers make shakespeare quake in his grave
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lesbianjamies · 5 months
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holy fuck we could've had it so good...
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becca-e-barnes · 11 months
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I need more of needy Bucky who loses control from the feeling of being inside your pussy. I need him to fuck me like a rag doll and to carry me over his shoulder around the house like his personal flesh light.
Fuck, this has always been one of my very favourites to write. I really like to imagine that he struggles to last but he can keep going after he finishes 🙈 it's my lil filthy fantasy
But imagine spending the morning in bed with him. You both wake up around 6am and you spend the first little while just touching and chatting before a couple of hours of sex. Now it's maybe around 11am and after lying there together for a while, you're both in the mood for something to eat.
You pull a robe around you and that's just about as much as you manage before Bucky's scooped you up, carrying you to the kitchen.
"You don't need to carry me everywhere!" You tease, remembering that he'd carried you up the stairs to bed last night too.
"I know. But. Carrying you means. I. Can put you. Exactly. Where. I want you." He peppers kisses over your face and neck, tenderly capturing your bottom lip between his before he sets you up on the kitchen countertop.
There's no point arguing with him so you sit there quite happily. He makes up a quick pancake mix, washes some berries from the fridge, preps the coffee machine and sets the little dining table for the two of you.
Somewhere in between, you got a little distracted, perched on the counter scrolling on your phone. You hadn't noticed the way he's looking at you.
He's so caught up in the little things; the way the light hits your shoulder, the curve of your hips, the way the silhouette of your nipples are visible against the satin robe.
"Look at you, sitting there all sweet like your cunt isn't so fucking full of me."
That's got your attention.
You squirm a little, your body fluttering at how shamelessly vulgar he's being but nothing's stopping you from doing the same.
You spread your legs, exposing the slick mess coating your inner thighs. It's a mixture of your own arousal and Bucky's cum, dripping out of your sensitive cunt.
Your fingertips trail lazily over your exposed sex, your skin glistening in the natural light before you bring your fingers to your own lips, sucking them clean, giving him a little bit of a show.
"Tastes amazing, sweetheart." You groan, noticing the growing bulge in his thin pyjama bottoms. "But I lost track of how many times you came inside me this morning. You came so deep, most of your cum won't have dripped out yet. Bet I'm still totally stuffed full."
He sinks to his knees in no time, settling his head between your thighs, breathing in the faint smell of your arousal. His tongue presses flat to your sex, trailing from your hole to your clit and back, gathering as much of your combined release as possible.
He groans, low and pathetic, allowing his tongue to dip inside you as deep as he can bury it. He savours every drop of cum he earns back from your body.
When his tongue alone isn't enough, he slips a finger into you, followed quickly by a second, curling them against your sensitive inner wall.
"Bucky baby, please don't make me cum again." You groan, your fingers tangled in his dark hair but you know he's not giving you that choice. Not when his free hand is furiously stroking his own cock, desperate to ensure that when he's finished licking his cum out of you, he can flood your cunt with another load.
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mrsrookhunt · 6 days
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OH MY GOD YALL. SAVANNAHCLAW ROOK IS HERE.
iTS 6 AM I AM LITERALLY HAVING A HEART ATTACK I HAD TO TAKE MY INHALER BECAUSE I GOT SO EXCITED I STARTED HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING. HES
HES PERFECT.
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eloquent-edits · 2 months
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🗡️ You give so much to others
It’s time someone gave back to you 🗡️ acts of service and fluff prompts
Character A hates washing the dishes and Character B hates cooking, so they do those things for each other
“You don’t have to do anything to pay me back. Your happiness is more than enough.”
A is going through a major depressive episode and B comes by to help clean their room and give them company
B sets up candles, a warm bath, and dim lighting for A to relax in after a stressful work event
B carpools with A a lot. They notice the gas tank is running low and plant a $20 bill in the console for A to find later (B vehemently denies ever putting it there, but A absolutely knows)
A is sick and B goes out of their way to grab medicine and extra tissues to drop off at A’s doorstep
After A ends up in the hospital, B makes sure A’s place stays clean, their pets are fed and taken care of, and that A will have nothing to worry about when they are well again
B automatically sets aside a larger portion for A’s meals because they know that A will be hungrier than they expect
A is sensitive to light and B buys blackout curtains for their room so they can sleep better
“I’ll handle this! You go have fun, I’ll be there in a second.”
B will always pick A up after they travel internationally for work so A can sleep and recover from jet lag
B covers the corner of sharp tables for A (listen it’s just THE SWEETEST thing I’ve seen done for someone ack)
A is busy putting on makeup, so B gently detangles and does their hair (and it’s not as simple as just putting their hair into a ponytail, I’m talking weaves and braids and intricate designs that show B paid attention to this)
“Let me take care of it.”
A complains about their back or neck pain so B gives them a massage (mainly to stop their complaining LOL)
B will occasionally take A’s bath towel while A showers and run it through the dryer so it’s nice and warm when A gets out
A is anxious about finances (they just got a new job) and B helps them work through it and understand all the confusing things
A’s new apartment is not on the first floor and the elevator is out of order, so B moves the big furniture for A up all those flights of stairs
Chronic pain makes it difficult for A to leave the house sometimes, but B makes sure they never run out of medication by picking up A’s prescriptions
“You really didn’t have to do that for me.” “Well, I wanted to. Now you don’t have to do it!”
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solarsturniolo · 10 days
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no watermark and HD vid quality for ya thirsty hoes 🫶🏻
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ovaryacted · 5 months
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Me writing for DI! Leon means I get to make him as hairy as I fucking want because I absolutely, positively, 200% believe that he has a nice happy trail and leg hair.
The manly hair testosterone hormones didn’t really kick in for Leon until he was 29 cause of stress and trauma, so when he could finally grow out that stubble it never left his face. But DI! Leon is a whole different ballgame. He’s not hairy like a werewolf (that’s more Carlos for sure), but he definitely has more body hair in that era cause he just kinda stopped focusing on it as time goes by.
You’d just like to watch him trim the stubble or shape it up, maybe even shave it off and let it grow back a bit. But you constantly tell him to keep it, that you like the way it feels when he kisses you or when he nuzzles into your neck. You enjoy the sensation of having his cheeks rubbing against your inner thighs as he eats you out, grabbing on to his head and pulling him in closer. Sometimes you’ll squeeze your legs around his head on purpose so you can feel the friction of the prickly hairs on his jaw scratching at your skin, only heightening the sensations for you.
Imagine riding him on his thick thighs and he has leg hair, feeling it against your skin every time your hips came back down on to his body. Think about the fact that he has a happy trail and trims his pubes a bit but doesn’t fully remove it CAUSE HES GROWN! So whenever you suck his dick so messy in the way he likes, the spit just spills all over and builds into a small puddle at the base of his pelvis. His favorite thing to do is watch you slurp it back up, how your nose nuzzles into his skin whenever you deep throat him. Don’t even mention the way he moans when you put his balls in your mouth, slurping on them like no tomorrow.
But the best part of it all? He loves it when he gets the white ring surrounding his cock when he fucks you. He wants to see the way you clench and cum around him, how your fluids stain his skin and pelvis, like your own personal way of marking him. He wants to smell like you, hell even taste like you. Probably enjoys putting you in a chokehold so you can feel his bicep curling around your neck, having your hands grab at his forearm and caressing the hair on his skin. If he’s not able to still feel the remnants of your release on his top lip, he’ll make sure it sticks elsewhere.
Petition to make him more hairy? Everyone raise your hands. I SAID FUCKING RAISE THEM! I KNOW Y’ALL ARE OUT THERE! Don’t be shy this is a safe space.
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slutforitoshi · 11 months
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mikage reo - star student *:・゚✧
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ft. reo x f!reader, 18+ minors dni
cw: CORRUPTION KINK, virgin!mc, praise, oral m!receiving and f!receiving, fingering
synopsis: your dear upperclassman teaches you a few new tricks
wc: 1.85k
A/N: confession i was a reo anti until i read the manga LOL
mikage reo is the poster boy for model upperclassman. smart, athletic, and breathtakingly handsome. unlike other seniors he didn’t seem to view the younger years with distaste. after all, he was one of them just a few semesters ago. his generosity knew no bounds, from comped meals to private tutoring lessons. and you happened to be one of those pupils; a sprout eager to learn from the best. 
initially you sought out reo’s help since you happened to hear that he was the first in your school’s history to ace all the physics exams, a subject you were dreadful at. you expected the relationship to be cordial, professional even, but reo’s welcoming disposition made it hard to stay away. 
before you knew it he was assisting you with much more than physics, guiding you even in your personal life. that’s why it didn’t even occur to you as strange to blurt out, “i think i’m finally going to lose my virginity this weekend”
reo’s pencil that was currently scribbling away at his planner grinds to a halt, leaving only the slight hum of your ceiling fan to break the silence. 
shit. you’ve made things awkward. 
“oh my god i’m so sorry i don’t know why i said that,” you apologize immediately, realizing the vulgarity of your words. reo was your senior, and while he has helped you with relationship problems before, you should’ve known this was a leap further than that.
reo turns to you with a light smile though, relieving the regret you felt in your stomach. 
“what’s there to be sorry about? i’m glad you trust me to talk about it” he reassures you, in classic reo fashion. 
“are you sure? i don’t want to make you uncomfortable…” your voice trails off, but reo’s eyes don’t waver. his dear underclassman has a concern, and who else but him to help?
“well…ok. i’ve just been feeling left behind recently in that whole category. all my friends keep talking about their recent hookups, and it’s lame that i haven’t done anything past kissing”
reo’s eyebrows furrow in concern, “don’t tell me you want to have sex because of peer pressure.”  
“no no it’s nothing like that” you quickly shut down his unease, “i just feel like i’m ready for it. i want to join my friends.”
he slowly nods his head, taking in your true thoughts. 
“so how are you gonna do it? are you seeing anyone?”
“nah i was just gonna go to a party and find some semi-cute guy” you shrugged, and it’s clear by his expression that this was the worst idea he’s ever heard.
“you’re gonna settle for some random guy at a party, who will probably be mediocre at best in bed?” he spat, eyes narrowing at the prospect.
you’ve never seen reo like this, almost bitter at your proposed idea.
“i don’t see any other good options” you murmured. there probably were, but those other options included waiting, and you’ve had enough of that.
reo presses his fingertips to his temples, closing his eyes for a moment. 
“you think physics is the only thing i can help you with?”
he opens his eyes, turning towards you with such a piercing stare that it sends shivers down your spine. 
“n-no, of course not. you’ve helped me with loads of things before like math, biology-” you ramble, trying to ignore the quickening pace of your heartbeat. sure you were a virgin, but you weren’t naive. 
“i won’t force you. i’m just expanding your options” his eyes don’t leave you, and as much as you want to hide from his directness, you can’t seem to look away. as much as you wanted to run away, to say no, the growing heat in your abdomen has already made the decision for you. 
“p-please reo, i’m all yours”
“that’s my good girl.”
he places his right hand at the nape of your neck, then pulling you into his lips. gentle, you noted. his kisses showed no sign of aggression or neediness like you’ve experienced from the select few boys you’ve made out with before, but that’s not to say it wasn’t passionate. 
you break the kiss first, leaving your chair to kneel down before his. 
“can i?” you ask, looking intently at the bulge peaking through reo’s pants.
“eager aren’t we” he smirks, pulling down his waistband to reveal your first cock. and it’s impressive. your eyes widen at the length before you, mouth watering. you look up eagerly, lunging forward to envelop the head around your lips as reo gives an encouraging nod. 
“f-fuckk” he gasps, taking in the warmth of your mouth. it’s heavenly. 
you push your limits, inch by inch, until you feel him hit the back of your throat, and the sensation launches you off suddenly. 
“you alright?” reo sits forward, caressing your back as you cough through the result of your eagerness. you nod though, pushing him back into the chair. 
“wanna try again” you murmur, eyes fixated on your conquest. you wrap your lips around him again, taking note of the ache the girth inflicts on your jaw. it’s not an unpleasant feeling, and the view of reo’s eyes rolled back makes it all worth it. 
this time you don’t recoil from the hit, and start your trek up, then down, then up.
“focus on the tip, it’s sensitive there” he instructs, and you oblige, intensifying the bobbing motion near his ridge.
“circle your tongue around it” reo barely finishes his thought before you’re complying to his demands. 
reo’s fingers are digging into chair’s arms, leaving crescent shaped imprints. he couldn’t tell what was more pleasurable: the feeling of your tongue against his tip, or how fucking obedient you were. 
“such a good girl for me, learning so fast”
you hum in content at his praise, sending vibrations that nearly push reo to the edge. that’s enough he thinks, it’s time for the next lesson.
he sits up suddenly, and his cock leaves you with a ‘pop’. you try to object at the sudden emptiness, but he’s already pulling you up, guiding you to the bed. 
“sit back for me, and keep your legs spread” he instructs, tying his purple strands back to keep away from the mess that will surely follow. 
you do as he says, revealing the growing damp spot on the panties underneath your skirt. he dives in, wrapping his arms around your thighs to pull you forward abruptly until his face is hovered above your heat. 
“r-reo-” your eyes widen at the sudden movement, but your voice morphs into a moan as he licks a long stripe above the cloth. 
“let me show you what you deserve” he peels off the drenched panties off your legs, marveling at your glistening folds. 
he makes haste, lunging forward to bury himself between your thighs. the sensation of the soft muscle of his tongue immediately makes you buck your hips forward. 
“f-fuck!” you splutter out, mind blanking as he circles your clit. he had you wondering why on earth you waited so long. strands of purple leaked through your knuckles as you held his head in place. 
a familiar coil builds, one that you’ve only felt through from your own efforts before. 
“you’re close aren’t you?” he smirks briefly before diving in again to chase after your high. 
stars dance across your half closed lids once he adds a finger into your entrance. it’s a stretch you’ve never felt before, but the feeling was more than welcome. then the addition of a second finger has your head falling back against the backboard. 
“your virgin pussy’s so tight” he remarks, noticing how cramped the hole was with only two digits in. his vulgar words brought a blush to your face; who knew the mikage reo could talk so dirty?
the curling of his fingers is what brings you over the edge, until you’re thrashing against the sheets while reo uses his free arm to hold your hips down. 
“how was that for your first orgasm?” 
“so…so good” you manage through your pants. it left you breathless, but he wasn’t finished with you yet. 
reo briefly gets up to roll a condom on while you recover. shit, it’s happening. you were about to kiss your virginity goodbye. 
“i’m gonna go nice and slow okay?” he says, positioning himself above you. a light kiss is placed on your forehead before you feel the tip nudge at your entrance. and then he pushes.
your eyes squeeze shut at the intrusion, nails raking at reo’s back to offset the pain. 
“deep breaths, it’s almost all the way in” he whispers, trying not to cum himself from the absolute bliss that your pussy gives him. 
you both let out a sigh as he bottoms out, and he stills himself, waiting for confirmation to move. 
“please reo” you whine, “make me feel good”
his eyes darken at your pleads, and a flash of possessiveness passes his mind. you were so fragile, and yet here you were begging him to ruin you. 
he builds his pace gradually, knowing the stretch must still cause you discomfort. but by the third thrust, your loud moans were a clear indicator of the pleasure wracking your body. 
“r-reo, feels amazing” 
he responds to your praise with a firm grip on your waist, pulling you in deeper against him, “yeah? don’t you ever settle for anything less than this”
you almost yelp as he scoops one arm around your back to flip you. you’re on your knees now as he’s laid back against the mattress, still buried completely within you.
“want to learn how to ride?” he suggests, lip twitching upwards in a suggestive smile. the challenge was daunting, but a star student like you wouldn’t back down. 
you place your palms against his taut chest, shakily raising yourself up before crashing back down. 
“fuck, you’re a natural” he groans as you sink down again. 
the new position has his tip kissing your cervix, and it’s not long before your thighs are giving out. 
“looks like you need some help” he teases before his hands are supporting your hips, guiding you up and down his length. by the way your walls were fluttering, he could tell you were reaching another high. reo decides to add even more assistance by taking a free hand towards your clit, rubbing circles onto the sensitive bud. 
your body goes slack at the sudden onset of pleasure, but reo has no problem making up for your efforts to ride, still thrusting upwards at impressive speeds. 
“c-cumming again!” you exclaim again before clamping hard against his cock. your pulsating walls are enough for him to unload as well, thrusting erratically to maximize both your orgasms.
you collapse against his chest, limbs completely drained of energy. he laughs lightly at the state he left you in before wrapping his arms around your back and laying another kiss to the side of your temples. 
“reo how am i supposed to fuck anyone else after this” you whine, “you set the bar too high”
“who said we were done? you still have much more to learn”
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sanjisboyfie · 6 months
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-> started more like a crackfic headcanon, but then it got rlly serious at the end??? mb igggg
gojo's definitely the type to slap your ass in public. not even in a nasty way, genuinely (or more like 50% of the time it's not in a sexual way). he just likes slapping your ass??? you've tried asking him why he does it so often, but he just grins and shrugs his shoulders in response. it's always a flirty response, like, "i can't appreciate my beautiful boy's ass?" or, "y'know i can't keep my hands off of you, handsome,"
he's such a fucking annoying boyfriend. like genuinely. could you imagine having a 6'4, lanky man latched to you - literally trying to melt into your skin? no, because you don't have to imagine it, it's your everyday life. you wake up? his arms and legs are tangled with yours that you have no choice but to wake him up. you're cooking? he's hovering behind you with his back hunched and head resting on your neck as he is still working on completely waking up. you need to go to catch your train for your job? oh...but can't you just spend the day in with him? he'll do whatever you want >:) just skip work and stay with him!
he's so needy and clingy. it's actually insane how much a grown man can WHINE. oh my god, you think about doing anything without him - ANYTHING - and he's already complaining overdramatically that you don't love him. he goes from 0-to-100 really quick, meaning you guys could be cuddling and he's nearly knocked out, you gently move him off of you to get up to PEE, and he's suddenly reciting all of the heartbreaking lines shakespeare wrote, claiming, "you!! you heartless man, have driven a stake right through my heart and i shall never recover from such a pain you've brought onto me!!!" as if you're not going to be back in like thirty seconds ??? max.
he's the strongest sorcerer, but if you're around, he's nothing but a man in love with his boyfriend (and hopefully more. he fantasizes a lot of what a married life with you would look like...).
he actually could care less about other people when you're there - you have to verbally remind him of his duties as a jujutsu sorcerer or else he will very easily ignore them in exchange of spending time with you.
another thing that comes with dating this man is that he will do everything, above and beyond, in his power to keep you out of harm's way. let's say you weren't a jujutsu sorcerer, he'll let you in his lifestyle in full confidence nothing will harm you. he's already talked to the higher ups, if they try pulling some bullshit out of their ass in putting you in danger, he's gonna actually slaughter all of them. it was a meeting he had with them when you two just made it official and, comically enough, he was snapped out of his gruesome, detailed rant on what he would do to them by a call from you ringing through his phone.
you have him completely wrapped around your finger and he's not one to shy away from showing that. he thinks public acts of devotion are the best ways to show his loyalty and love for you to other people. it's so hilarious how he will literally fall to his knees begging on a random street, just for you to look at him. just because you're looking at what a vendor's stall is selling doesn't mean you have to look away from him???? hello ??? please be more considerate of his feelings, his heart cannot take this much.
and despite how carefree he always seems with you in public, if you are still in a public area, his senses are actually hightened to their peak. there's absolutely no way he's taking a chance with you getting harmed if he's there, he'll ensure you're safety above anything else. he protects you with his life and will happily exchange his life for your own - if it ever came down to that.
and he's proclaimed that to you several times which has earned him worried scoldings everytime he said anything along the lines of, "i'll risk my life to protect you," but he always pushes your scoldings aside. because then he comforts you saying that: he's the strongest for a reason and he will use all of his strength in protecting the future the two of you will have together. he can't live without you, so obviously you're staying safe. and he'd actually rather step on a thousand legos than imagine you living your life without him. selfishly, he wants to be the center of your universe, like you are for him (alright, eren jaeger headass...)
neither of you have to worry about that though! he is still the strongest ever, there's nothing that could pull him away from you (there was one time his students genuinely tried doing this and it was impossible. physically trying to pull gojo off of your body was impossible). and he wants to spend every waking moment with you. so not only are you being protected 25/8, but you're being affectionately doted on, loved, and cared for for each of those passing seconds.
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samssluttybangs · 1 year
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his best hair seasons are very clearly 1 and 12 everyone stop lying
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jellogram · 1 month
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reblog to kill it faster
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skywerse · 17 days
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the eepening
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