#how are we supposed to know if you haven't taught us
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So this is a weird ask but I figured an Actual Welsh Person would be the person to go to, and you've been pretty gung-ho about the language thing. So I hope I'm not bothering you with this.
Is there a cultural consensus on foreigners learning Welsh? I'm American and I don't have a single shred of Welsh ancestry. My family is historically German, and we've been here since the English Colony days, so it honestly seems really weird even to try to claim some tie to German heritage.
Anyway, my point is, I have absolutely zero legitimate claim to the Welsh language. I don't plan to travel to Wales in the foreseeable future. I have no reason to learn Welsh except that it sounds pretty and I enjoy a challenge.
Putting aside the issue of "lmao it's gonna be stupid difficult to learn an endangered language if you don't have anyone to speak it with" (I have a loose plan for dealing with that, and the experience of learning two languages to "can read most novels without needing the dictionary" level without anyone to speak them with in person already) entirely, do you reckon it's okay for me to study Welsh? I know Americans are really, really bad about just kinda assuming the whole world belongs to us, and I'm trying not to do that here. Especially because Welsh IS endangered.
I imagine your average Welsh person probably doesn't care what some random American does. But like, for people who care about the language...Would it be considered disrespectful or overstepping for me to study it? I don't expect you to speak for the entire country, of course, but I respect your opinion and I feel like you'd have a grasp on what the general feeling towards a foreigner like me might be.
Thanks for your time.
I honestly, truly, do not understand how the discussion around cultural appropriation has been twisted in the cultural zeitgeist to such an extent that people now feel anxiety about learning other languages.
This is not a personal attack on you, Anon - the gods only know that you clearly care and want to do the right thing, and that's beautiful and wonderful and also I will come back to extolling your personal virtues at the end of this post, so stay tuned. But I do want to take a moment here to talk about the broader issue at play, which I have seen echoed multiple times elsewhere, because fuck me what are we doing to ourselves.
Learn. Languages.
That is what languages are for! To be used for communication. If you don't learn languages, you are forcing everyone else to use yours. How have we somehow, as a culture, twisted that into being the less selfish option? How have we done that? I posted my favourite Welsh idiom recently, and someone reblogged it and wrote in the tags that they loved the idiom and would start using it, but they would do so in English because their "Welsh pronunciation would make their Welsh grandmother spin in her grave."
What kind of mental gymnastics is that?
How the fuck do you twist it so badly that you think taking a Welsh idiom for your own and exclusively using it in English is less offensive than saying it in Welsh but maybe a bit wrong? I've literally had people proclaim to me that they're learning Welsh on Duolingo but they never speak it because they're too self-conscious, and they tell me this not to highlight a massive flaw in themselves that they need to work on, but as though I'm supposed to pat them on the head and thank them for... still making me speak English to them.
There was that post where a Deaf blogger received an anonymous ask saying learning sign language is cultural appropriation, as though Deaf people haven't been calling for Sign to be taught in schools. As though a Deaf person being entirely isolated in everyday hearing society unless they have an interpreter with them is less offensive than a hearing person being able to use BSL.
Like, these are not sacred or religious languages. The purpose of Welsh or BSL or what have you is not to perform the Eleusinian mysteries. It's a living everyday language, same as English -
Except it's not the same as English. As Anon here so rightly points out, Welsh is endangered. That means we are desperate for people to learn it. That's how it will survive. That's how we reversed it from 'dying language' to 'living language', in fact - we managed to get lots of people to learn it. You know what is a threat, though? People not learning it because, like poor Anon here, they've been somehow convinced by Western society that you're only allowed to learn languages if you personally have a historic or cultural connection to them that you can prove via six forms of ID and a letter of recommendation from a druid. Or people never using it because they're too embarrassed to try and risk losing face by getting it wrong, or maybe sounding a bit silly, and thus forcing us to use English anyway. Those are threats.
Anon. Listen to me, feel the sincerity of my words: we adore you. We adore you. You cannot imagine how appreciated it is when someone learns Welsh. You cannot imagine how touched we are that you wanted to, that you tried, that you respected us enough and considered us valid enough that you made the effort. Our closest neighbours are the very people who are still trying to stamp out Welsh to this very day. Do you know the number 1 reaction I get, by a country mile, when I tell English people that I speak Welsh? It's some variant on a scoff, and the sentiment "Why? What's the point? Bit useless, isn't it?"
By a country mile. That's the reaction I expect, and brace for, and is overwhelmingly what I get.
So when someone who isn't Welsh actually chooses to learn Welsh?
Imagine what that feels like! To go from not-even-hidden disgust, from outright mockery and often active suppression campaigns, to a foreigner earnestly telling me that they love and respect my language so much they're trying to learn it. Imagine how that feels.
Please learn Welsh. Please learn it. We will love you for it. We will build you a statue. We will bake little Welshcakes with your face on in icing sugar. We will write you poems in complex rhyme. We'll name an Eisteddfod prize after you. We'll name at least, like, three sheep after you. Thank you, thank you so much for even wanting to learn. You're a delight and a marvel and a wonder. Your hair looks great today, as it does all days. You're a strong, independent human being of immense wisdom and compassion. If this were a Welsh myth you'd be a wise salmon the heroes came to for advice. What a fantastic human.
The welcome awaits if you choose to learn
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Waiting
Azriel x reader
Warnings: self-harm, language, starving oneself, thoughts of uselessness, slight suicidal thoughts
Come to my office. We need to talk, Rhysand spoke in your mind.
A bolt of fear went through. Shit, what did you do this time? Did he find out that you-
You're not in trouble. I just need to talk to you. He said, sensing your fear.
You made your way to his office, not bumping into anyone, thank the Mother. You were a nervous wreck right now, despite Rhys' assurances.
You creaked open the door to your High Lord's office to see him sitting at his desk, hands neatly folded in his lap with a soft smile.
"You called?" You questioned, still nervous.
"Yes. I wanted to talk to you about something," at your eyebrow raised, he cleared his throat and said, "I know about the mating bond between you and Azriel."
You froze. "You didn't tell him, right?" You whispered.
Rhys shook his head, "No. There are also wards around this office, so he can't hear a word we're saying."
You relaxed slightly until he asked, "Why haven't you told him?"
"Why did it take you so long to tell Feyre?" You shot back.
He raised his hands in surrender at your aggravated tone. "I just want to know. You seem withdrawn and a shell of what you used to be, and I just want you to be happy."
You slumped at his words. "I didn't want him to be shackled to me, especially since he loves Elain. He just seems so happy with her."
His eyes softened, and he sighed, "I know how it feels. You feel like you'd burden him with the mating bond."
"Well, there's that, and also I want him to choose me. I don't want him to just want to be with me because of the mating bond. I want him to love me regardless of the bond," you confessed.
He nodded and asked, "How long has it been since you found out?"
"Since Elain and Nesta became Fae," you ground out, wincing.
Knowing about the mating bond, you must watch him fall for Elain. He rescues her from Hyburn, giving her Truthteller, all the glances, their walks around the garden, and the happiness on his face whenever she showed up.
It was agony. You finally realized how Rhys had felt watching Feyre.
"Does anyone else know?" He asked quietly.
You nodded before saying, "Cassian and Eris."
"Eris? You told him?"
You shrugged and said, "He sorta guessed. When you and him were meeting in Hewn City and I was there he talked to me after and asked why I seemed like a shell. He guessed it was Azriel but didn't know we were mates until I told him. Cassian was a similar story. I made them both swear to not tell."
Rhys nodded in understanding, knowing your past with Eris. The two of you had been friends long before the incident with Mor and remained friends long after. You were the only reason he wasn't dead. No one else knew of your friendship with the Autumn Court heir but Rhys.
Eris had found you over the Autumn Court border, injured, and instead of taking you to his father, he took you to a cottage in the woods and nursed you back to health before helping you get back to the Night Court.
"Thank you for telling me. I swear to not tell as well."
You felt another tattoo form next to the two identical tattoos on your bicep. The tattoo was the same for each.
Rhys peered at his new tattoo and chuckled softly. It was a half of a heart mostly concealed with what looked like black flames.
You suppose that's what your heart felt like right now. Broken and burning in silent agony.
Rhys nodded at you and said, "Azriel should be coming in here in a few minutes if you want to slip out before he gets here."
You nodded your thanks and stood up to leave to get your training in for the day. Cassian had taught you ages ago and now expected you to train yourself now that he was busy training others.
You felt the mating bond grow stronger as it sensed Azriel coming down the hallway. You quickly turned around to go the other way before he could see you.
You practically jogged to your room and got dressed in your leathers and headed out. Cassian usually trained from breakfast to lunch and Azriel trained at night so you would be undisturbed.
You saw Emerie and Gwyn still out there from this morning, Nesta was nowhere to be seen. You gave them a quick smile as you went to pick up a sword. They both smiled brightly back. You liked and respected all three of them.
You didn't specially seek them out, not wanting to intrude. They had a special bond that you couldn't stand. It was nothing against them but when you hung out you always felt like an outsider. They had gone through things together do they of course would be close.
You channeled all of your anger at Azriel, at Elain, at the Mother, at the world into the sword as you swung again and again and again at the practice dummy.
When Cassian was teaching you he said it was a great way to get anger out and he had no problem letting you swing for the entire practice as long as you had good form. He would let you battle the dummy occasionally stopping you to correct your form. Cassian did the same thing with hand-to-hand combat.
He understood how therapeutic it was. He and his brothers did the same thing, just on each other. But he didn't want to be on the receiving end of your sword. When getting your anger off he volunteered to be the dummy. He could handle you easily with hand-to-hand combat, blocking your punches. But your sword was difficult for him. Your sword was just a fast extension of your arm, he received several scratches from being your dummy before he resigned.
After an hour you switched to hand-to-hand combat, your weakest spot. You were too lost in the routine to notice the sun was quickly going down. You just kept punching and kicking and punching.
You paused to catch your breath when you realized how long you'd been out there. You'd missed dinner from the sound of your stomach. Oh well. Wouldn't be the first time.
You went inside to go shower but as you walked to go to your room you quickly paused. The Inner Circle was all in the living room laughing and drinking. They looked so happy. Maybe you weren't needed. Maybe you could just leave permanently and nothing would change.
Then you spotted Elain with her head on Azriel's shoulder. Both of them looked happy. Something inside of you broke at that.
Instead of taking your usual route through the living room to get upstairs, you went around the back way so no one could see the tears brimming in your eyes.
You were numb. All the anger, the sadness, and the frustration were gone. You didn't feel the water as you bathed, didn't feel the clothes you put on, and didn't feel the blade as it tore into your skin again and again and again.
The only thought in your head was Dang at the sight of the blood on your arms, stomach, and thighs as you stared in the mirror blankly. Not caring you took a towel and wiped the blood off but it just kept coming.
You took another bath and wrapped your cuts. They were layered over steal healing ones and scars. You knew this wasn't good but you didn't care.
You got dressed and just laid in your bed until sleep pulled you under.
-'~{~}~'-
You woke up to the stinging and burning under the bandages. Bleary-eyed, you stumbled to your bathroom and pulled your shorts and shirt off to see the bandages.
You opened your cabinet that had the bandages in it and found that you were almost out. This would probably be the last change left. You didn't really care about dressing your cuts but if one of them accidentally opened in the night or the day you couldn't have anyone asking questions about if you were ok.
You would have to go to Velaris to get new ones. You also would have to make another excuse for what you needed. Maybe you could convince Cassian to drop you off.
You finished the bandages and put on leggings and another sweater. You could ask Mor but she'd probably make you try on a dress that was too revealing and might show the bandages. No, you couldn't have that.
After splashing your face with water, you headed out to get coffee. That was going to be the only thing you ate until dinner since you probably wouldn't get to skip today.
Mother, how did Elain do it? She ate normally and still remained the perfect size. While you barely ate there was never any change. How was she so insufferably perfect? She was as beautiful as a flower herself, incredibly kind, and perfect in every way. She couldn't blame Azriel for being attracted to her.
Poor Lucien though. Honestly, maybe you should just get with him and leave both Azriel and Elain in the dust.
You knew neither of you could do that but it was a nice wish though.
On your second cup of coffee, Feyre came in and smiled before digging into a breakfast of biscuits and pastries.
"Do you want any?" She asked, between mouthfuls.
"No I already ate," you lied with a smile.
She nodded and smiled back before going back to eating.
Honestly, all of the Archeron sisters were perfect. Nesta included. She might have been prickly at first but now she belonged there as much as her sisters did.
Well, you could ask Feyre to take you down to Velaris. She might have another painting class.
"Are you going down to Velaris today?" You asked your High Lady after taking another sip of coffee, black, it was bitter but it had fewer calories that way.
She paused her eating to offer, "Yes. Would you like me to take you?"
You smiled gratefully before answering with, "If that's not too much trouble for you."
"It never is. Just let me get ready first," Feyre responded kindly.
"Of course."
Suddenly Azriel came in and the bond between you both came alive in his presence. Clenching your teeth you filled up your coffee cup for the third time, keeping your back turned towards him.
Feyre gave you a questioning look at your reaction but thankfully Azriel didn't notice. You could hear Feyre and Azriel talking but paid no attention to your conversation and you watched your coffee fill up.
At a touch at your shoulder, you snapped around and winced slightly to see Feyre looking concerned before asking, "Hey, did you hear what I said?"
You blinked before saying apologetically, "Sorry I drifted off. What'd you say?"
"I asked if it was ok if Azriel came with us."
"No yeah, it's fine," you said despite the drop in your stomach. Maybe that was from hunger. You couldn't remember the last time you'd eaten.
-'~{~}~'-
An hour later, the three of you were in Velaris.
"Here I got to get to the studio so I'll see you later," Feyre said waving goodbye.
You waved back and turned back around to walk away before Azriel asked, "Are you okay? You've seemed off lately."
Mother wonder why. Maybe because my mate's in love with another female that's perfect as can be and there's fucking way I can even hold a candle to her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired," you lied. You being tired was always your excuse. Well, it was telling the truth partly at least.
Azriel nodded his understanding before you walked away to look for things to disguise why you really came.
Unfortunately, Azriel still followed you as you weaved around the market.
That just meant you had to buy a shit-ton of other stuff to make it look like you came for another reason.
You went from store to store until you had three bags full of stuff you didn't need but wouldn't arouse suspicion. Two of your bags were full of books while the third held a couple clothing items.
With all the extra shit I bought bandages shouldn't seem too suspicious.
You went to the small store that you always bought from and got 4 rolls of bandages and some pastries. This store had everything from books to instruments to random alcohol. It might've been a little shady but oh well.
The only thing Azriel bought was metal cleaner and another dagger sheath.
With four bags full you were exhausted. You had to talk to way too many people today. You just wanted to go home and take a long nap.
Feyre luckily only had one class today and was done rather quick after getting a bite to eat. Thank Mother she didn't invite you. It would've looked weird if you didn't eat.
After she winnowed the three of you back you set the bags down, your arms tired. Azriel picked two of them up and helped you carry them to your room.
With him in front of you, you had to stay back far to not brush his wings.
"What the fuck is this," Azriel growled in front of you as he entered your room.
Fucking hell please no. Shit, shit, shit.
You in your tiredness forgot to throw away or hide the bloody towels from the previous night.
Azriel turned around and looked you over as if trying to find where the blood was coming from.
He took a deep breath and asked, "Where is all of this FUCKING BLOOD FROM?"
Your eyes widened. You'd never heard him raise his voice. Faking a calm image you just shrugged calmly and said, "I don't know."
Azriel's eyes burned into yours trying to assess if you were lying. You just held his stare, trying to act normal.
Oh Mother, he definitely knew you were lying. He was fucking spymaster of the Night Court. The Shadow of Death. Still, you played calm.
Instead of breaking the silence you just stood there, your stare cool and composed against his, burning with fury.
"Well this is your room so obviously you have to know," Azriel said coolly.
"Well I don't and you're right, it's my room, so it's none of your business," you hissed.
He threw up his hands in exasperation and yelled, "Well there's blood all over these towels and you're not on your cycle so what is it then?"
Thank Mother you shut the door.
"Get your damn nose out of my fucking business," you yelled back.
"Well you've been moody and now there's blood all over your towels and you haven't been at meals so just tell me WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
"WELL THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT YOU DICKHEAD AND YOU AREN'T HELPING," you screamed, tears threatening to escape.
He paused, "You haven't been... hurting yourself, have you? Right?"
You stayed silent trying to reign the tears back in.
"That's why you needed more bandages and why you winced when Feyre touched your arm why you've been covering yourself up and why you haven't been eating..." Azriel's voice trailed off as he looked back at you, "But why?"
The question lingered in the air for several moments before repeated more firmly, insistent, "Why?"
You looked back up angrily, and with the most emotion you've had in days said, "Because my mate doesn't fucking want me. He wants someone else. I've watched them fall in love for almost two years. Two fucking years I've watched and waited. Nothing changed. Nothing. Fucking Changed."
Azriel was shocked he knew you'd been off for a while but he'd just figured it was the war.
"Do you realize what that does to a person, Azriel?" You let out a bitter laugh and a tear slides down your face. "It tears you apart from the inside. You try so hard to hold yourself together but then you crack and the cracks get larger and larger until it consumes you. And then you're spiraling and you can't get out and no sees, no one notices. Do you know why? Because they're already happy. They have all they need. They're so blind with happiness that they don't see you drowning until it's too late."
Your face crumples, "And your mate," your voice broke, "and your mate... they don't give a fuck. They don't even notice you. You try so hard to be kind, and nice, and you try to be beautiful, to be skinny. Like the one he loves."
And then you break.
Your knees give out and you land harshly on the floor, sobbing. You tuck your knees to your chest and sob into your hands.
At first, Azriel just stands there, listening to your heartbroken sobs. No these were more than heartbroken, they were full of despair and hopelessness.
As he stared at you some part of him twisted in agony, flailed to be let out. He froze as he realized what it was. A fucking mating bond.
He was the one responsible for your sobs that wracked through your body. He was the one responsible for you not eating. He was the reason you thought you weren't enough.
He dropped to his knees in front of you and gently reached out for you. You didn't react until he pulled you into his arms, cradling you, letting you soak his shirt in your tears. You slumped in his arms, not having enough energy to resist.
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head and said, "I'm so so so sorry. I... I thought it was supposed to be 3 brothers and 3 sisters."
You didn't respond but your cries had become less violent.
He continued to stroke your hair and whisper how sorry, how stupid he was forever even thinking about Elain.
He felt you through the bond. Your sadness. Your hopelessness. Your self-hatred.
His heart broke at the thought that he did this to you. Your mate, who was supposed to love unconditionally, forever, did this to you. This wasn't even the full extent of what you felt, yet this fraction was enough to make him feel hopeless.
He held you until your cries turned to deep, calm breaths of sleep. He carefully picked you up placed you on the bed and kissed your brow before leaving.
He walked down to the kitchen where Rhys sat. He gave him a nod and said, "I know now."
Rhysand froze. Azriel couldn't speak the words so he let down his mental shields so Rhys could see.
After, Rhys remained silent, eyes wide.
The silence stretched on until Rhys said, "I knew," Azriel's eyes snapped to him in surprise while he continued, "I had a suspicion and then she confirmed it when I asked."
He held up his hands before Azriel could erupt, "She asked me to keep it a secret."
"Show me," Azriel demanded.
Rhysand relented and showed him everything.
Azriel rubbed his eyes before walking over to the kitchen where he made a plate of leftovers from last night and grabbed a glass of water before coming out and starting up the stairs.
"Oh and Az," he turned around, "you need to tell Elain about this." There was a look of warning in the High Lord's face.
Azriel pressed his lips together. He knew he would have to. It was inevitable.
"I'll talk to her later," he said while walking back up to his mate.
His mate. His mate that he'd ignored for the past two years as he pined after someone that had their own mate.
Mother, he felt awful.
Well, he deserved it.
-'~{~}~'-
You woke up alone in your bed.
How the fuck
Your thought was interrupted by Azriel, your mate Azriel, opening the door clearly struggling while holding a plate and a glass of water.
He looked up at you and saw you were awake and had noticed his entrance.
There was a long awkward silence until Azriel broke it by clearing his throat and saying, "I brought you some food and water."
You responded with a simple, "I'm not hungry."
"When was the last time you ate then?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
You just shrugged and repeated, "I'm not hungry."
"I don't care. You're going to eat this. I don't care if I have to shove it down your throat, your eating," he said tersely.
You two just stared at each other, until you sighed and took the fork, and began to eat.
Azriel visibly relaxed as you shoveled bites of mashed potatoes, mac & cheese, green beans, and chicken in your mouth.
"I also brought you this," he said quietly, motioning to a bowl filled with nothing but bread and a plate that had a generous slice of chocolate cake on it.
You started on the bread and could've melted at the taste. He had brought you every bread you thought the House could make. There was garlic bread, cheesy bread, rolls, sourdough, and various bread sticks.
You were in fucking heaven.
You almost offered Azriel a piece before remembering that wouldn't end well.
You were stuffed before you started on the chocolate cake, but that didn't stop you.
Once you were finished eating, Azriel spoke, "I'm sorry again. Just please give me a chance. This isn't just because you're my mate. I see you now. You're sweet and kind and funny and obviously a goddess-"
Before he could finish you had kissed him.
You kissed him hard and passionately after years of longing. Azriel reached up and gently cupped your cheek and brought you onto his lap to deepen the kiss.
There would be a time to ravish and worship you later. But right now he would show you how much you meant to him.
After you pulled away you closed your eyes as he cupped your face.
Pressing a kiss to your forehead he whispered, "I know how long you've been waiting and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for even looking in Elain's direction. I know there's no way to fully make it up to you but I'll try. If you want me to wait, I'll wait. I'll wait however long you want. I'll do whatever you want. Just to please you. To make you happy."
"I know full and well I'm not worthy of you," as you tried to protest he pressed a finger over your lips, "No, trust me, I'm not. First of all, you are kind and loving. You were kind to Elain even though it would've been easier to hate her. Second, you are gorgeous."
To help prove his statement his hands traveled up and down her body, not enough to make her uncomfortable, but enough to show he meant what he said.
"And third everyone loves you. How could I not? Hell Nesta loves you. Also, you're smart, sarcastic, funny, Mother I could go on." Azriel said counting with his fingers.
You smiled softly and said, "Preferably don't."
"Honestly I'm the one that doesn't deserve you."
Your eyes got sharp at that.
"Excuse you, I don't know where the fuck you got that idea from, but that's not true in the slightest," at his raised eyebrows you took a deep breath and said, "Let's see you're brave, witty, selfless, caring, smart, and an actual good male."
His eyes lightened with each word and with a smirk, he asked, "Can I get another kiss then?"
I mean how could you resist? He brought you food.
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all i can say forever
i'm jewish. as a child i moved from a rural town where my family saw acts of rage and hate, emigrated from a country with a horrifying history with jews. you know the one, though there are many. i'm 31 now and i have seen and experienced antisemitism my whole life, in the many places i've lived, to varying degrees. not that i should need to qualify this before everything i have to say - but i know what that looks and feels like. in my life there have been times at which i have been in danger. i choose to stay out of danger in all the ways i was taught. (part of that is not moving into someone else's house uninvited (more in a sec))
(well-meaning?) people want me to have a relationship with israel. they are very invested in assuming i have some connection to this shifting space, this project. they associate my german jewishness with a place i have never been and never felt. home, for me, is the uncle i haven't seen in too long, the ailing brother of my mother, the same red nose. it's fresh sheets hung over dry summer grass, it's bavarian farmland, it's thick liptauer on pumpernickel bread warmed over the wood stove. it's my grandmother's dining room and rough fenceposts, borders we disrespected as kids. home is also here and there and where my family is, where my friends are, where i've built myself.
in a geopolitical sense, it is clear that the antisemitic position is to sequester jews into a partitioned state conceived of by non-jews after the sunset of our most recent attempted decimation. antisemitic, to tell jews "move here, be at home in this space of constant war. impose war on others. fight for a tenuous link to an ancestry you've never seen or studied." in a religious sense, sort of a key feature of judaism since the second exile is that - we're in exile. this is an orthodox argument, but i have to admit that rabbinical discourse is pretty convincing. the secular establishment of the israeli state in an attempt to accelerate any so-called redemption has left us at a point where i really don't know what hope we have for that to occur. if you believe in god, how can you believe they are looking down at us, impressed
because beyond theoretical or spiritual reasons, the bloodlust, the vengefulness, the racism, the violation of law (i know that laws are agreed upon, are broken all the time by those who grant themselves impunity), the evil of this continuance, the evil which grinds babies and text and memory, gnashes it all in its droning machinery, its cold horror and inhumane (unhuman) practice, seemingly perfected... it is obvious to anyone with a single thought that it is an ethnic cleansing. the forcible "movement" (murder) of people of one group from land people of another group want. is ethnic cleansing. we are watching it in real time, and the world stands by and in many cases, it endorses, it beats and imprisons those who are brave enough to stand up to it, it rewards cowardly men in war rooms who having read fukuyama and arendt and maybe even voegelin conveniently forget themselves, because they can afford to, and wave their hands and make calls and decimate entire families cities sovereignties. and liberalism - that fickle ideology whose sole search is for the justification of atrocity - sends its thoughts and prayers, and emphasizes how just horrible both sides are, and conveniently forgets the histories that have led each "side" to this. convenient.
and i can't do anything about it. i can perfectly articulate every well-thought-out argument, i can cry the most frustrated tears from the well of my chest and i can scream that this isn't right, because it isn't, but nobody fucking cares. those who matter have decided for those who don't.
if you align yourself with israel, or feel any sympathy toward the supposed plight of active settlers (not a neutral spot to be in, by the way - another rational argument), i hope you know how thoroughly you've been manipulated. how successful the project of those with the power to decide we don't matter has been. you and i don't matter. so-called free thinkers meme. you fucking idiot. you genocidal maniac.
not putting this under a cut. fuck you. read it all and remember my jewish name and keep it far out of your mouth the next time you tell someone why the people you've told me are my neighbors deserve a flattening.
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why i love aziraphale and why i find his character so heartbreaking
So I made a post on why I relate to Crowley and I adore him, obviously. I think a few you misunderstood what I meant there, though (which is understandable, I was a bit incoherent but that is inevitable on this blog). I wasn't saying Aziraphale didn't care about Crowley or was horrible to him, rather the opposite.
What I was saying was maybe Crowley felt unloved against his better judgement, because he knows he is loved by Aziraphale, but maybe everything he has been through has started to chip away at that knowledge. It's happened to me, I'm sure it's happened to a few of you. You are assured that you are loved, you can see them doing things for you, but you feel unloved. Maybe because of the other people who don't love you. Maybe because... you don't love yourself.
But I definitely wasn't putting down Aziraphale, who is a beautiful character. I adore him. I love how every single second, all his emotions are on his face. That's actually how I realised they'd switched bodies--in heaven, 'Aziraphale' had a cool, dismissive look on his face. That could only be Crowley, I knew, because Crowley is a bit better (not a lot, not around Azi of course) at masking his emotions.
That's what's so beautiful about Azi, we can just see how much he feels, how much he adores Crowley, how much hope he had, how much faith in Heaven, how much determination to do the right thing. How determined he is to keep Crowley safe, to make Crowley smile and laugh, and how much it kills him every time he has to push Crowley away for both of their sakes, or he thinks he has to. You both want to protect that optimism and faith, and also shake him and tell him the truth. But how do we know better than him, a 6000 year old angel? There's so much that we don't know, that may have happened behind the scenes, that's orchestrating his decisions.
Some of you are certain that there is more, that he doesn't still believe that what Heaven offers is genuine, because how could he? I'm also sure that there is more, but can I also offer an alternate idea? Even if there wasn't more, maybe he isn't to blame if he did continue to believe in Heaven's goodness.
We've been in toxic relationships. With friends, partners, family. I know how hard it is to accept that something you love is not worthy of that love. Something you admired is something flawed. Something you would do anything to keep is something you need to push away.
The worst of all, of course, is that time, somewhere in our childhood or teens or adulthood, when a lot of us realise our parent or parents are not heroes. That we don't agree with them. That they were wrong about a lot of things. Because they taught us everything, they were our guides, how could they be wrong? And if we can't believe in them, then what are we supposed to believe in?
Maybe Aziraphale is going through that journey, over all those millennia. Some of us are forced to realise it before we even turn ten, some of us haven't realised it yet, some of us may not ever or may not need to.
Maybe Aziraphale is just a child of God, realising that Heaven, his technical family, is not the Good that not only they but the entire world believes them to be. Everyone says Heaven is good, including a lot of Hell, including a lot of humankind, it's just given. What is Heavenly is good. And Aziraphale wants to be good.
But he's going through that painful journey of realising that good may not be what he was taught, that good comes in many shades and tints and hues. And we can see him do it, we can see him defy Heaven and God, for Crowley or for humans or for himself. He's doing it, and we need to see how it isn't easy for him. Having your entire system of belief deconstructed is painful and awful. And if you were wrong once, how do you know you won't be the next time?
It's hard enough for Crowley, torn between whether he was unworthy or whether Heaven was wrong. Imagine the tumult that Aziraphale goes through, because if Heaven accepts him and Heaven isn't always good, does that mean Aziraphale has been doing it all wrong all his life?
He's going through something that we all go through, and is every bit as relatable as Crowley is. I love them both so much. I'm so glad that there's a third season, to see how that arc closes, to see if maybe they find the answers we're all looking for.
@adverbian and @howmanyholesinswisscheese, I hope this helps? Again, I haven't watched season 2 yet and have a horrible memory since I've been watching season 1 heavily medicated, so this is just from what I know and can tell and headcanon, perhaps.
#good omens#good omens fandom#aziraphale#good omens mascot#weirdly specific but ok#crowley#good omens s3#go 3#go 1#go 2#ineffable husbands#ineffable fandom#good ineffable omens#asmi#aziracrow#neil gaiman#aziraley#azirowley#love for Aziraphale#azi#good omens meta#angel#feelings#lgbtqia#maggots
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Secrets
Body a day - #27: Closet
This is an excerpt from a longer story I'm writing, but haven't finished yet. I will probably be able to finish it in the new year.
“Damien, we need to talk,” said my father, his tone was very serious, and the whole ‘we need to talk’ wasn’t something I had ever heard him saying before. Dad sat down on my bed and looked at me with a stern face, “Damien, I know you stole it from the hospital.”
I flinched… He knew, how long had he known?… “Why did you do it?” he asked, there was an undeniable disappointment in his voice.
I decided there was no point in lying, I might as well be honest.
“I’ve been using it on my classmates.”
“Why?!” my father said clearly shocked, “they are your friends, why would you do that?”
My father’s words really stung, though he probably wasn’t aware of how much they did, having had my secret exposed was mortifying enough, my voice began trembling as I answered.
“Friends?!” I said trying to hide being upset, “They were never my friends.”
My father’s face changed from shock to concern, which made me feel a bit better. It seemed like he understood somewhat.
“I thought things were going much better socially, you were popular, you were spending more time with them, going to all the parties – even coming home late at night.”
“It was all just a facade, so that I could get away with it… Earn their trust and not to arouse any suspicion.”
My father said nothing, he just looked at me with something I assumed was sympathy, so I continued my rant.
“To them I was merely an asset, I was useful. I only got all that attention, because I was the first in my class with a license, I could drive them places, be it drive-ins, the city or home after they had drunk their brains out. I was their chauffeur, their designated driver, that’s all. I’m not saying I was being excluded or bullied or anything, but I’m just not like them… And despite all the attention I’ve gotten, it still doesn’t change that I don’t see them as friends, they are just my classmates, they are acquaintances if you would prefer a different term…”
My father remained silent, he clearly was going through some strong emotions too, struggling to put them into words. I hadn’t seen him like that before, it almost felt like, he thought he had failed as a father for not noticing my discontentment sooner.
“I see,” was the first thing my father said after a long pause, it took him some time before he continued, “how did you do it? I don’t suppose they volunteered for it.”
“I put something in their drinks,” I admitted, saying it out loud made me feel very ashamed.
“That’s very irresponsible, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?!” my father said angrily.
“I know, but you have taught me of how to dose sleeping pills, and I only gave them a very small dose, I never hurt any of them, I just needed them to be passed out long enough for me to…”
I hesitated, I probably shouldn’t go into more detail, I think he got the picture; “and none of them suffered any side effects.”
“You couldn’t have known that, you can’t just-”
“I know, I know, it was wrong and I’m sorry, but what’s done is done.”
“And what did you do with them?”
I went over to my closet and opened it, then I pulled out the three skinsuits, placing them all on the bed for my father to see. He was breath-taken and shocked as he looked at the display.
“You made three?”
I nodded.
“Have you- have you worn them?”
“Not really, no, a few times at home, but not for long, I couldn’t risk you or mom walking in on me. And it’s not exactly like I can go outside wearing them, I’d risk running into someone, who knows them, or even worse – run into one of them. But I really wish I could have… tried to be someone else, if only briefly.”
My father seemed lost in thought, then he resolutely got up and looked straight at me, “then pack your bags, you and I are going on a little road trip.”
I couldn’t believe his reaction, it was relief.
#male body transformation#body a day#male body suit#male bodysuit#male skinsuit#male skin suit#male masking#identity theft
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it's the little things🤍
part 1
part 2
Enjoy part 3 besties :)
I feel like something bad has happened in every chapter so far, i’m sorry lmao
the next chapter will be fluffier 🫡
WARNING: this chapter contains some tough topics such as SA, read at your own risk!!
Taglist: @ghostslittlegf @sketchyfandomgirl @batw3nch @thedevillovesflowers @gaymistakeboi @almightywdm @under-the-dirt @clear-your-mind-and-dream
(if i forgot anyone i apologize!!)
I feel like these are getting shorter and shorter 😬
The hum of the coffee machine was the only noise in the kitchen as you waited for the coffee to brew. You and Price were able to squeeze in a couple more hours of sleep before you became restless and got up to make coffee.
You had your arms wrapped around yourself due to the cold air in the compound. Taking a deep breath, you watched as the coffee began to pour out into the container. The smell of it already woke you up more as you breathed it in.
Pulling out the mug underneath, now filled with the liquid, you began to blow on it before setting it down hearing footsteps approaching.
"Morning. Did you make any tea?" Price's groggy voice rang through the silence.
"No, I didn't I'm sorry." You wrapped your sweater closer around your body.
"S'all good." He mumbled, moving around you to get a kettle going. "You still got that training session today?"
"Yeah, new recruits. It was supposed to be me and Ghost, but I told them Ghost got the flu." Price chuckled at that.
"Want me to come help you since you're down a man?" You tilted your head in confusion at his statement.
"Who would watch the boys?"
"Laswell. We can trust her can't we?" You lolled your head to the other shoulder, thinking.
"I suppose so. how do we even tell her? She's gonna report us for illicit drug use." You laughed a little at the thought.
"I'll tell her it's my nephews or something, or we can tell her the truth?" Price laughed along with you.
"Can I ask you a question?" Price hummed as confirmation. "Why haven't we fought yet? Usually when we work together, we're at each other's throats."
Price nodded, obviously contemplating his answer. "I don't know." He said it so simply, as if he hadn't noticed the change in behavior from you both. "Maybe because there's children involved?"
"How many rescues have we done with children where we're still fighting?" Price nods in agreement.
"I'm not sure then." He looks up at the clock, noticing the time. "Let me go ring Laswell while you get ready."
Somehow, Laswell bought the nephew lie. She agreed to watch them for a small amount of time.
"Alright recruits. I'm your Lieutenant, and you can call me that. This is Captain Price, you report to him for any major or emergent situations, otherwise you find me or Sergeant Garrick, who you will meet at a later date. Today, we are going to go over some basic defense maneuvers."
Carefully, you taught the recruits, demonstrating each device with Price. From what you could see, the recruits were catching on quickly. "Finally, my favorite defense mechanism." you signaled Price to come at you, putting you in a headlock. Bending down and quickly pulling your body weight forward, you fling Price over your head.
You hear a couple of recruits gasp. "For the nature of this exercise, we will have each one of you come up to try to flip one of us instead of having you flip each other."
One by one, each recruit came up attempting to flip you and Price. A couple failed, which is normal in these types of training situations. You only had a couple of recruits left. "Private Taron?" you called the young man up. "Try to flip me." You heard Price call up another recruit as you wrapped your arm around the Private's neck. He easily had you flying over him, landing roughly on your back.
You felt the wind being knocked out of you. "Here, let me help you." Taron reached out a hand, helping you up off the floor. When you stood up, he didn't let go of your hand. "Can I ask you something since I'm the last one in your line?"
"Yeah, what's the problem?"
"No problem, I just wanted to see if you could flip me?" You froze at the question but took the challenge since Taron was about the size of Price.
"Why not, I could use the challenge." You prepped yourself, waiting for him to wrap his arm around you. "Ready when you are-"
Your words caught in your throat as you felt him grind himself into you, his erection pressing into your lower back. "See what you do to me ma'am? You won't write me up for sleeping with my superior will you?-"
Quickly, you flung him over your head, him landing with an audible thud. "You have a meeting with General Shephard at 0800. Don't be late."
You left the room quickly, not even bothering to look at Price. You beelined to your room to change and shower as quick as you ever had before going to relieve Kate from the boys.
"Thanks again Laswell."
"Anytime, his nephews are angels." She left without another word as you looked down at the three littles in their playpen.
Soap and Gaz were playing with some little planes you and Price had bought while Ghost was asleep. Soap looked up at you and his little face lit up, making grabby hands at you. You smiled as you picked him up. He immediately snuggled into your neck, letting out the cutest little sigh. Gaz followed suit, giving you grabby hands as you picked him up too. "Come on boys."
Moving over to the pullout couch, you propped the two boys to where each one was laying on a shoulder as you sat back. Both of them seemed calm, almost sleepy at contact. You stroked their little heads, shushing them into a nap since Laswell said she couldn't get them to settle.
You tried to focus on the current moment and not the disturbing event that had happened not even 10 minutes prior.
Your skin itched, feeling exposed, dirty. You felt violated. You felt tears sting your eyes, trying your hardest to focus on the little sounds coming from Soap and Gaz. Deep breaths left your mouth, trying to calm yourself.
Little snores filled your ears as your face became red with tear stains. You moved to set the boys back down, feeling bad for not holding them for very long. You sat with your head in your hands, trying to subside the tears you felt. It was such an icky feeling, your body crawling with an uncomfortable feeling.
You didn't want Price to see you like this, you knew he'd ask about what happened and you two would get into a heated debate about how you could've handled it better than storming out.
You could hear his voice now, telling you how you should've reported him right away, spoke up. His voice telling you that your response was immature.
Sighing, you took out your phone to send an emailed report to Shephard so he knew what was happening when the recruit walked in.
Footsteps filled your ears as you hit send, the door opening slowly as a freshly showered Price entered the room. "What the hell was that?"
"I'm not doing this right now. Yell at me all you want another time."
"No, explain to me why you walked out on those recruits." His voice was beginning to border the line of anger.
"Price, please."
"No, Y/N, what was that?! It doesn't matter who you are, you don't walk out on recruits during a vital training sessions." his stood against the closed door, his arms crossed. His head tilted as he spoke.
"Can we please not do this?" You finally made eye contact with him for the first time since he had stepped in. This made him see your tear ridden eyes.
"Tell me. Now." His voice was almost a growl as it came out.
"Please-"
"WHO?!" He boomed as his hands slammed down on the table in the kitchenette of his room. It made you flinch, which made his gaze soften. "Y/N."
"Price." He moved over a few steps closer to you.
"Tell me. Please." You saw his eyes change from being the angry narrowed look to a more gentle, beckoning one. "I am still your superior, so you report any issues to me, regardless of what it is."
"Don't fucking pull that card." You shook your head in annoyance.
"I can pull whatever card I goddamn want, I am your Captain and you will tell me what happened." You was back to the pointed look he always gave you.
You huffed out a breath. "You don't give up do you? Don't know when to stop talking?"
"Y/N..."
"One of the recruits rubbed their hardened cock on me and told me that they wanted to sleep with me. Happy?"
"Y/N, if you had just-"
"Don't start. I know you're gonna tell me my response was immature and that I'm overreacting or I misheard him. You're going to tell me the statistics of women getting harassed in the military and how one little grope isn't gonna hurt me right?" You watched Price's face turn to one of horror.
"Why the hell would I say that? Do you really think so lowly of me?" Price was hurt now.
"Because that's what you did last time something like this happened. November 4th, 2020. We were on a mission in Dubai and one of the new soldiers on the mission groped me and fondled me. You told me I was overreacting and told me to brush it off."
Price was froze, his mind turning for answers to why he did that. He wasn't speaking nor moving. Instead, he just walked out.
He walked out on your important conversation like that. Left you alone in your state of pain and the familiar feeling of betrayal came back to your chest.
That feeling was a package deal when it came to your Captain. You always felt betrayed and hurt by him due to your common interactions. He was tough on you, and you two never were on the same page.
Except lately, you thought you were. You were so wrong.
You took your things and the boys back to your room that night, wanting to be away from your Captain. You knew the kindness was too good to be true, deep down though you wanted it to linger just a little bit longer.
His offers to cook or watch the boys, the way he would look at you and tell you to rest. You wanted the kindness in his eyes and his smile to stick around longer.
You wanted John, not Price.
And you'd never have that. Not with your Captain's history with you. The constant fighting, the butting of heads, the disagreeing will never go away, and as you realized that, you cried.
You had seen a glimpse of the man behind the title, and you welcomed the warmness he had brought to your eyes. The way his personality shown through instead of his usual coldness. You had felt a tinge of a friendship blooming, but that has quickly been ripped from your grasp.
While you were crying, you looked over to see Ghost standing up in the playpen, staring at you with a blank expression and wide eyes. He whined when you looked at him. "Oh, Simon..."
Moving, you picked him up and rocked him in your arms as he began to sniffle. "I'm okay, just the usual squabble with our Captain." You shushed him, trying to convince this small child that you were okay.
His little hand reached up to touch your mouth, letting out a little sound. he blinked at you a few times, still sniffling as his bottom lip quivered and he eyebrows were down.
You smiled a little at the seemingly meaningless gesture. "How do you know how to make me smile even as a baby?" You laughed a little as he sad expression faded, his little hand dropping back down. he let out a couple of little baby babbles, and you smiled again. "My Simon always comforting me, even if it's incoherent baby noises." He yawned, leading you to move him back into the playpen, giving him a thank you, even though you knew he couldn't understand you. He yawned again as he rolled over, closing his little eyes.
You sat back down in your bed as your mind raced a million miles a minute.
How could your Captain be so double sided, and what triggered him to change from cold to warm, but so quickly snap right back?
#captain price x reader#modern warefare 2 x reader#soap mactavish smut#soap mactavish x reader#tf141 x reader#cod mw2#johnny mactavish#simon ghost riley
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Concerning the Vil-Epel drama: I'm from a Scandinavian country and even here we have dialects. I haven't heard them myself, but my mom has and she says they are literally impossible to understand and you need a translator to speak with them. And it's not a bad thing- we don't say those people are less than or anything of the sort- it's just like holy cow we cannot understand anything they're saying, how are we supposed to communicate like this (especially when they understand us since our dialect is the 'base' dialect). If anything, it's funny because of how a dialect can make the same language not understandable, and also disappointing/frustrating that we can't talk to them because we literally don't know what they're saying. So to me it seems like part of the reason Vil wants Epel to not speak in his dialect is simply so people can understand him better and so people can actually communicate with him. We've seen in the Harveston event (if I remember correctly) that the others have no clue what Epel says before they jump the gap, and they need to ask his grandma to translate. That's an example of how if he didn't remove his dialect people would not know what he's saying. I don't think it has anything to do with negative connotations towards the dialect (I bet Vil would encourage it if they were in a situation where it would be beneficial/welcoming), but rather Vil trying to teach Epel that it's not about hiding your dialect/culture, it's about being considerate to those around you to have them understand you (like how you pointed out his granny changed to polite speech when talking to the NRC boys). Don't you think even granny would have at some point taught Epel that? (Although not in the same manner or extremity as Vil).
There seems to be some discourse going on of which I was not aware!
Thank you so much for your perspective!! It is very interesting and informative and wonderful to know!
Yes, it does seem strange that maybe no one warned Epel about interacting with people outside the village, but maybe they did!
This gets into conjecture because we have nothing in-game to confirm either way, but it might be possible that they just assumed he would pick it up through personal experience, or he just wasn't able to make the connection between their warnings and what real-world experience would be like.
Marja herself has no problem with adapting to the time/place/occasion, but as Epel is still a child with limited exposure to people from other cultures, we are watching him experience this learning process in real time!
In a way, Epel's experience at NRC could maybe be interpreted as Vil encouraging him to be more like his grandmother :> Epel was likely aware that the older people in the village adapt their speech patterns when necessary, but maybe never made the connection about exactly why?
He knew it was polite, but when early-Epel shows up at NRC, he is already in fighting mode: he has no interest in being polite, which he might have seen as making concessions and, thus, a weakness.
Bullied his whole childhood for his appearance he decides he is going to set the record straight from day one at NRC so that people know not to mess with him, and then Vil comes in.
It seems like it all connects to Epel's arc as he learns that you can be conscientious of time/place/occasion (like his grandmother), but still be proud of your heritage and strong (like his grandmother).
And you can be beautiful (like Vil), but still be strong (like Vil).
(Because Vil is Vil his wording has a lot to do with the importance of beauty, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like Vil is just trying to prepare Epel for life in a society.)
There is an ongoing theme with Epel that we see in Book 5 and Halloween where he gets jealous of people who can do things that he can't, so he doubles down that he is right and they are wrong in order to make himself feel better about his shortcomings.
That might also tie in to his frustration with Vil's restriction of his dialect!
He has more difficulty expressing himself without it, so rather than do what Vil is trying to get him to do and work on it, by Book 5 he is still doubling down and insisting that Vil is the problem, not himself, despite how he was raised watching everyone around him do exactly what it is that Vil is saying he needs to do.
I really appreciate everyone's introspection!! The more you think about it, the more interesting Epel, his family, his relationship with Vil and his circumstances become! :> He is living through his own, personal coming-of-age story before our eyes!
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The forced sanitization of the internet has become so annoying. You haven't been able to share news articles on Facebook in Canada since late 2023 (and yes, its FACEBOOK I get it, but a lot of families do still use it as a primary means of communication, and small businesses use it). Some people get around this by taking screenshots of news, and posting the caps, but this whole mindset of everything in sight needing to appeal to advertizers is depressing as fuck.
I don't have a TikTok account, but the whole thing where you have to physically get aroudn 'bad topics' with ridiculous censorship, or sites bending and caving to implementing a stern 'no NSFW' policy that, I'll point out DOESN'T WORK (so what was the point?) so that it can be more viable to running ads, (half of which are bots with explicit porn: becasue it doesn't matter what is actually being advertized, as long as the persons paid for that ad space) proves that these factors aren't about "protecting the innocence" of anyone, but for money.
Which sure duh obviously but it's a little pathetic that people can't do proper research or get information about topics, without having to use god knows how many work arounds, because "this word is considered unsafe, this word is too controversial, this that." And now when you DO try to use Google, your first set of results are going to be sponsored ads, or search terms, and the amount of hits you'll get decreases.
I was taught how to do effective research in University. Methods that are now oudated, because ads rule the internet. Forget artistic freedom, forget human desires, forget anything that used to make the internet even semi-manageable; as long as it caters to ads, it's allowed.
There's some arguments too that people throw "to many hissy fits" about not being allowed NSFW. That it's not needed, that you can "go ten mintues without porn" blah blah blah.
Sure, you can do that. But the fact that there's no real place for minors to go and have their own place online, and that previously "17+ ONLY" sites (which tumblr was, btw) all caved to the pressure of "protect them so we can make money!" is just sad.
And it's not just porn that gets censored, by the by. It's anything deemed "inapporiate" which is also how lots of NEWS gets butchered and censored. Because you see goddamned news articles with "so and so unalived themselves" or whatever the hell it is. And YouTubers have to report on current events with "Mr. Person of this Article *bleeped* himself on the 2nd of March." etc. Because they will get demonitized otherswise. Censorship takes out context and shoves eveything under an umbrella.
So now you're watching a news report, with censored 'bad words' before a three minute ad roll interrupts that video, at some ridiculous mid-sentence moment, to show you an image of some mobile game with naked women shooting ppl in the head. All things that aren't supposed to be allowed but are accepted because it's ads.
But heaven's forbid you post an art piece with visible naked breasts, what would the children think!?
#blah blah blah this is nothing NEW by the by it's just something that kinda rotaes in my head on a daily basis#nate rambles#wow there's way too many typos in this
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The Final Boss
Solomon
MC is too smart for their own good. And it's making them fail my test.
Have they demonstrated an understanding of Beel's powers? Yes. Have they used those powers to defeat their foes? Yes, and in an impressive fashion, I might add.
But the fire they normally have is missing.
"You've noticed it too, haven't you?" Asmo scooches closer to me and looks into the viewing ball I set up. "The passion's not there." I sigh.
"I suppose it's my fault for allowing your brothers to pick out the location of this test," I tell him. "I would have simply reserved an arena in the Devildom and have the battle there, but Satan insisted that this game of Levi's would be perfect."
"As if MC doesn't know the tropes of a RPG game."
"Exactly."
"I mean, even if they had no knowledge whatsoever before the exchange program, Levi would have at least taught them the basics." Asmo runs a hand through his hair to get some of it off his face. "Do you remember the first time you made full and complete use of my powers?"
"All too well." It was during a threesome with a girl we both liked. To put it simply, we fed off each other's lust and inadvertently overstimulating her to the point of death.
Asmo likes to joke about it sometimes. I don't.
"So, how do we get MC to do what you're asking?" Right. The task at hand.
"To be honest, I don't know," I answer. "I suspect they'll put more energy into their battle with me, but I don't know if it'll be enough to bring out all of Beelzebub's power."
"Why now?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've never been this invested in your apprentices becoming sorcerers." Asmo pauses. "Does MC mean that much to you?"
"You already know the answer to that." He sighs.
"Yes, but I want to hear you say it! Do you know how tiring it is to constantly use my powers to get dirt on people? It's so exhausting!"
"Yes."
"Yes, what?" The patronizing look in his eyes makes me want to barf.
"I care about MC. A lot. They're the first human in a long time that I see myself having a future with." I pause. "Is that good enough for you, Asmodeus?" He playfully snarls like a cat, bending his fingers to look like claws.
"What an attitude!" he exclaims, smiling at me.
"You annoy me."
"Only because I care." Asmo glances back into the ball, appearing to think. "What if we upset MC?"
"No." Asmo huffs.
"I'm not saying we make them destroy the game or anything that extreme! I just think that if we tease them a little bit, we'd get them to feel something other than sheer boredom."
"Teasing might work. Just not on MC. They'll get too flustered to focus properly." I pause as an idea pops into my head. "Your brother, on the other hand..." Asmo's eyes widen before gleefully laughing.
"That's it! Oh, Solomon, you're such a genius!"
"How, exactly?" I'm asking because I want to know where his mind went, because he seldom complements me in a professional setting.
"You see, MC hates when we're reduced to our sins. That was why it took them so long to warm up to me; I wasn't being my true self, but merely a caricature. If I act like gluttony is Beel's only personality trait, then MC will feel the need to jump to his defense, thus triggering that connection you told me about." Interesting...
"You do realize that MC will be controlling your brother, right? The more angry they get, the stronger Beel will become, and I'm pretty sure you don't want him pummeling you." Asmo makes a dismissive noise.
"I'll be fine! Don't worry about me. Any injuries I sustain will be temporary." He smiles, nudging me with his elbow. "I want MC to become an official sorcerer as much as you do, you know."
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Hello. I wanted to say that I really like your art style, especially how you do Katara's face. That's awesome.
But every time I read the description of your AUs, it gives me the creeps. You once said you try to stay true to Katara's character, but... your AUs are like "what if I take one of her major character traits and throw it in a trash bin?".
Halfblood AU: no connection to her culture that basically defies everything Katara thinks and feels about her waterbending.
Helping the Fire Nation AU: no hope for the avatar that Katara expressed in the intro of every episode of the original show.
And lowkey less kindness. She's cautious and bitter and wants to help only Zuko.
She seems like a completely different character. Not Katara at all.
Zuko too. I doubt he'll be in the White Lotus, it's not in his character at all. He may use the help of the members, but the original ("The Desert") tells us he will not be one of them, it's just not his style.
You make zutara look shallow, like you think that Zuko and Katara as they are in the show would never work together. As a person who sees appeal in this ship I feel very uneasy seeing your interpretations.
And my god, why do you hate Hakoda so much? Every time you add anything to halfbloodAU he looks more and more disgusting. I cannot believe mister "you and your brother are my entire world" would do what you are saying. And a married man with a child cannot be so naive to think that a woman won't become pregnant after having sex with him. Hakoda would've returned and checked and tried to help.
Sorry. I wish I could enjoy your art, but you're making it so hard.
Hello, and thank you for writing. I'm glad that you enjoy my art, at least to some extent, and I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable with my AUs. However, I find myself in the need of defending them.
Creating AUs is something I take seriously, and one of the core traits of an AU is that it's, inherently, a different world. I can change virtually anything, and that's okay. Haven't we all read a fic and thought, this character wouldn't react like this in canon, but went along with it anyway? Because we know this isn't supposed to be canon. These characters are living in a different context, and react to things differently.
Canon exists for a reason. An AU does, too. They're different concepts and must be treated accordingly. It's a matter of context.
But we're talking about characters, aren't we?
You've pointed out that I've changed Zuko and Hakoda, too. And you're right. I've found that people online are more... defensive of Katara when compared to other characters. And while that may not be important to this specific discussion, I do find it rather curious. It's something to think about.
Anyways, I change characters. And I've gotta confess, I'm not ashamed of it.
My Katara is still Katara, and my Zuko is still Zuko. I'm just playing with how I believe they would react in different scenarios, and with different backgrounds (that's important, too).
You mentioned that my AUs are like "what if I take one of [Katara's] major character traits and throw it in a trash bin?". And I'm sorry that they give you the creeps, truly.
But maybe I want to explore how being a product of two different cultures affects not only Katara, but also Zuko as characters. Halfblood gives me the opportunity to address these sociocultural issues through their personal experiences, and I find that kind of narrative awfully compelling.
And maybe I wanted to change one core trait of Katara's personality and see how that affected both her journey and the general plot. Hunters is a writing experiment, and it has taught me a lot about human nature. Thanks to what you so kindly call "throwing a character trait in a trash bin", I've gained a lot more respect for who Katara is in canon. If anything, I consider Hunters!Katara as a foil for Canon!Katara.
And I don't hate Hakoda. I have a lot of respect for him as a leader and a father. I think he's a great character and role model for others within the ATLA universe. Bashing characters for fun isn't really my thing. The choices I made for Hakoda in the HalfBlood AU (and Aang in Hunters) are a matter of narrative and plot building, not my opinion on his character.
Just think about how different that AU would be if Hakoda made better choices, if he didn't have a wife and a son waiting for him at the South, or if Katara's father was a random Earth Kingdom villager. About 60% of the conflict in the story would disappear. And I could build that conflict with other stuff, I admit it. I could use different plot points or make the characters do other things or give Katara One Big Happy Family.
But it would change the core themes of the story I want to tell.
It's important to me that Katara is a product of two different cultures. It's important that she has no father figure in her life. It's important that Hakoda, who is a great leader and a great man and a great husband and a great father for Sokka, made a huge mistake in his youth that has been weighting on him ever since. It's important that Sokka is suddenly faced with the realization that his father, his idolized role model, is human and has also royally fucked up.
I want to talk about these things.
But I'm able to recognize that they're heavy subjects and, really, most of us are just here for the fluff anyway. So I'm sorry if I've made anyone uncomfortable. I won't hold it against you if you don't like what I do or just ignore whatever lore I set up for my AUs.
This is fiction, this is freedom, and this is the way I express myself. We all do it differently, and that's part of the beauty.
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gentleman
syn - ran haitani is a gentleman. sometimes.
cw - indirect insults, ran is a jerk (some point), chubby reader, ran and reader aren't a couple; fwb kinda, not proofread, you get it
-
ran is a gentleman.
he is, he just has to be.
he was raised in two houses, with two mothers. one jerk of a father.
he and his younger brother rindou, have two different mothers, but the same jerk of a father.
they were the only two important women in their life, the reason they do what they do.
these two women, taught them what love is. how they should treat the woman they'll love, and eventually marry.
how to not be like their father, and dump two boys into their hands and a hush paycheck.
so why?
why in the world would he clear his throat, stand tall, and dare himself to say that to you?
"ran, lets go out tonight." you beam at him, turning over in his comfy bed and playing with his hair.
ran gives you a lazy gaze, flipping over to face you and pressing a large hand on your cheek.
he doesn't respond, staring into your eyes as you hold onto his arm.
"was thinking. you know, we haven't been out in a while. rindou recommended this pasta place, and it looks really good." you explain, holding up the phone to his face
ran looks at the place, and then back at you.
you aren't sure what his silence is supposed to mean, but you continue.
"plus, it'll be a good excuse to dress up and look pretty. you know?" you falter a bit, putting your phone down.
"haven't you gained enough weight in the past few days? you want to eat out again?" ran says, before his brain can process it.
you stop breathing, and your heart practically stops beating against your ribcage.
ran has never spoken to you like that, you've never heard him speak the way he did.
"trust me. this'll put so much more weight on you, and either of us won't like it." ran says again, and he doesn't know what's going on.
shut up, he thinks, looking at you begin to screw up your face.
where did it come from? he hasn't a clue.
you sit up from your position and kick your feet off the bed, rubbing your face in frustration.
"wait- i didn't-" "you could've just said you wanted to stay in." you spit, breath hitching as you gather your clothes.
you get dressed quickly and leave, promptly blocking his number.
ever since, ran hasn't heard from you, but he's definitely seen your posts on instagram.
pictures of you and your friends, having girls nights and brunches and what not and-
has your ass gotten fatter?!
ran groans in frustration, throwing his phone down on his stomach.
"between you and milly, i don't know who's worse." rindou walks in the living room, holding his six month old in his hands.
ran sighs, sitting up and taking her from his grasp to rest her on his chest.
rindou takes a seat on the recliner, and leans his head back.
"i don't know what to do rin. her ass is fatter!" ran complains, patting milly's back soothingly.
his younger brother gives him a old look, before sitting up a little bit.
"just apologize. i don't know, you showed up to my house, scared my wife off, and keep crying over her. what'd you do?" rindou questions, laying on his side to get your attention.
ran sighs, giving milly a glance. she coos at him, stretching her little arms while she yawns.
"might've pointed out her biggest insecurity." ran grumbles, embarrassed to even admit it.
"you called her fat?!" rindou whisper yells, taking note of his daughter finally falling asleep.
ran adjusts the little girl in his hands, and sighs quietly.
"i didn't say it directly." ran explains, closing his eyes and tilting his head back to rest on the back of the couch.
rindou groans, covering his face and shaking his head in embarrassment for his brother.
"i don't know what to do. i can't lose her." ran says, opening his eyes once more.
rindou drops his hands into his lap, and flinches at the loud sound it made when it collided with the meat on his thighs.
the sound makes ran flinch as well, and the little girl in his arms jolt awake and begin sobbing once more.
rindou sighs, standing up from the seat and rubbing his eyes.
it's one in the morning, and he can't stand this anymore.
"okay. time for a walk." rindou says, stretching his limbs.
-
the two brothers walk with tamila for a while, up until they reach their childhood home.
the light in the foyer is on, and so is the light in the kitchen.
ran is the one who takes the first step onto the patio, and rings the bell 7 annoying times.
the door swings open, and rindou's birth mother stands there with an irritated face.
she's dressed up, holding her heel in her hand.
when she notices it's ran, she beams and holds her hands out to embrace him.
"ran! what are you doing out so late?" she questions, pulling him into the home.
it still smells the same, like rosemary and something sweet.
he remembers going to school and having everyone smell how good he smelt all the time.
"hey ma." rindou greets, pulling the stroller into the house with a short smile.
a bit more stumbling, and in comes ran's birth mother, dressed up as well.
"aww look at you two all grown!" she giggles, pulling them both into a big hug as rindou's birth mother closes the door.
they hug for a bit, before dragging them into the living room to fawn over the (finally) sleeping baby.
"what brings you two in so late? and why do you look like you haven't slept?" ran's birth mother questions, sitting next to ran.
"mom, i f- messed up. really bad." he complains, looking at her with upset eyes.
she gets comfortable in her seat and swings one leg over the other, looking at him.
rindou's mother follows, letting her son rest.
"what happened? oh you see rico, i told you that dream i had meant something." rindou's birth mother points out, fixing her hair.
"whatever kali, fill us in come on!" ran's birth mother said, tapping ran to get his attention.
so ran begins to tell them about you.
how you met at rindou's work party as both plus ones, how you got to know each other at rindou's baby shower, and how he took you out on dates when he'd get his pay check.
he doesn't fail to begin to mention how great the sex was, since he forgot he was talking to his moms.
all down to what he had said to you the last night he sent you.
his mothers listen intently, sharing looks instead of giving him the feedback he hoped for.
when he finishes, he takes a breath and looks at the two women.
they share one last look, before rico (ran's birth mother) takes a deep sigh and slaps ran across the face.
before he can say anything in response, kali gives him yet another slap on his other cheek.
"you fucked up. bad. but you can fix it. you know where she lives?" rico says, looking at her boy.
he nods, and kali sits up in her spot. "get her right boy. you might wanna grovel at her feet if she's actually the way she is." kali yawns, planting a kiss on his temple.
and that's what ran fears.
-
it's seven in the morning, and you're laying in bed, skimming through the many different reels on instagram.
for some reason, you can't find anything funny.
you sigh, flipping over onto your back and staring up at the ceiling.
there wasn't anything for you to do today. all your girlfriends had gone back to work and you gave yourself the day off.
you hear the front door open, and a pair of keys swinging around.
oh no.
you scramble out of bed and tug on a pair of sweats, storming your way downstairs.
"get out." you say immediately, glaring at- a bunch of bags?
gucci, dolce and gabbanna, edible arrangements, ihop, the bakery not too far, foot locker, marc jacobs, and so much more.
they are all laid out on the floor in front of the culprit, ran haitani.
before you can say anything, he gets on his knees and presses his head onto the floor.
"fuck i don't deserve you baby. i'm so sorry." ran says a bit loud, his hair touching the floor along with him.
"m' a piece of shit and i shouldn't have said that to you. you're so fucking gorgeous and i don't know what i was thinking when that came out of my mouth." ran explains.
you stare down at him, and then glance at all the bags.
"where.. did you get all this from? how?" you question, folding your arms over your chest.
ran sits up and points to everything, explaining how his mothers made him drive all over to get all this for you.
he then points to the bag of money, fixing his hair, and looking directly at you.
"then this is your rent, for the next two months. my whole paycheck." ran says, standing to his full height.
you stare at him, before taking a seat.
"you told your.. mothers? about me?" you question quietly, holding your hand out to him.
he takes it and nods, bringing it up to his lips and kissing it multiple times.
"they think you're wonderful. slapped the shit out of me when i told them what i did." ran chuckles, rubbing his cheek.
you roll your eyes, before letting him help you out of your seat and pulling you closer to him.
"i love you, alright? i can't stop thinking about you and i know i don't deserve you, but fuck do i want you." ran whispers, looking into your eyes.
you lean into him and wrap your arms around him, giving him a smile.
"then have me." you whisper back, just inches away from his lips.
it's safe to say the big breakfast and edible arrangements were forgotten within seconds.
#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev x you#ran haitani#rindou haitani#tokyo revengers rindou#tokyo revengers ran#tokyo rev x reader#ran x reader#long hair ran
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You think you got a chance?
I decided to go to the store, the fridge is looking mad empty right now. Which is extremely difficult for me, with the whole being a mom of a 1 year old boy. Yea, I said a boy, I gave birth to a male specimen. Boys, moms truly don't get enough credit because the shit my son puts me through is just wild. This is what happens when you don't want kids but decide to go out there being a honey freaky fuck yall. Better learn.
I walk into my bedroom, trying to nativgate my closet for an outfit. You see the thing about being a mom means that you need to make sure you child looks so fucking good. Spoiler alert, no one gives a single fuck about you if your child is walking around here looking like dog shit. "Yall know exactly who I'm talking about. I'm not calling you out baby, I'm simply calling you out though. Fight your issues not me." I said to the camera, completely forgetting I'm supposed to be vlogging with my son today.
Speaking of son, I should totally go walk him up. I managed to get him all ready for the day. And then he fucked around and went to sleep, you see some parents try not to let there kids go to sleep because of naps not really being the best for a busy day. "So, yall Cameron is rocking this cozy hoodie that says cookie monster and just some slighty baby jeans with his lil uggs. It's cold out here in Korea, so I'm gonna grab his puffer jacket to make sure he doesn't get cold. But yqll know Cameron does not like that fucking jacket so I always carry his on the go blanket cuz he expects to be picked up and carried around with that blanket thrown on him. The struggle is real. Now as yall can see I look like shit I haven't gotten ready. So I'm gonna wear this crop long sleeve with these pattern-like pants.
I walk into the closet, grabbing the camera to show off the fit(the one above). "Listen, I know I said it was cold, but if you think about it, it's not like really cold, is it? You know what? Don't answer that. I'm wearing the fit because it makes the curves pop. For the girls that question about confidence, I low-key feel like that as backhand ass compliment. Because trust and believe if I was a smaller pretty petite ass bitch no one would ask. I am my own beauty standard representing all the thick girls in Korea. For example, if you are sitting in front of your phone watching this video talking about how you didn't have a stomach until this happened or this happened, stop lying. Yall I've always been a big girl, my son didn't have anything to do that, if anything he taught me how to embrace my body."
"Yall will truly not know love until your kid starts drawing pictures of you, like how you really look. Because kids are honest as fuck. But my baby has seen beauty in different forms, though he is used to my form. It gets a little awkward when he sees skinny girls and ask why they look like that." I said looking at the camera laughing while adding a little jewelry to the fit. "The moral is everyone is beautiful. It's ok to be insecure at times. But remember your a beautiful ass bitch. Younger me would've never walked outside in this crop, but I'm so glad I've been able to see myself how I should."I walk out the room grabbing my keys.
I am making my way to the front of my apartment to grab my diaper bag and get snacks. "Cameron likes to wake craving these pocky things and will literally whoop my ass I'd they aren't there." I reach for my jacket and grab my son and walk out the door. I place Cameron inside od his car seat and place the diaper bag right next to him. He placed his blanket on top of him. It's amazing that he is still sleeping. Before I go to the grocery store, I drive to a pop up Cafe. I need some caffeine to survive this day. I get there looking outside to see that the sky is getting dark, hinting that it will rain soon. So I sit in the car waiting for a while. "So yall I stopped by a Cafe, we are waiting cuz it looks like it's about to fucking pour. I don't know why I said we, cam, is still knocked out. I remember watching some girl talking about how she gave her kids melatonin to sleep. Isn't that like drugging your kids, though? Like ahit I want mine to sleep too, but imagine giving them a gummy snack, and that shit is laced. That is wild."
I look out the window, noticing my dumbass should enter this cafe now before it starts raining or gets crowded. I turn off the car and grab my keys while looking into the rear view mirror at Cam. "Yea, so I thought this part was gonna be easy. I just like to gaslight myself." I step out of the car and open the backseat door and try to carefully grab my son without waking him up. I successfully achieved my goal , grabbed his blanket, and threw it over his body, just in case it started to go to rain. I walk into the shop and get in line while looking at the menu. The line is pretty long. I might be here for a while.
"She is adorable." I hear a voice say behind me, and turn around and see a woman. She is beautiful, I can't tell her age. What I am able to tell is her obvious attraction, with her continuing to bite her lower lips while staring at me. She is giving off an aura of pure confidence while I do enjoy it. It would be quite fun to play with her. "Well, thank you, but she is actually a male," I state and watch her eyes go wide, and she becomes embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. I just thought he was a girl." "No it's cool. Most people assume he is a girl, I don't know if it's cause of the curly hair or the fact that he looks like me." I say slightly, laughing to make sure she doesn't get too anxious.
"You're right. He truly does look like his gorgeous mother. Looks run in the family, I can tell." I make eyes at her. Wow, it seemed I've found a bold one. "Awe, that cute, I'll let you have that one." She smiles it off before I realize that line has shortened. Making me the next person in line. I order a chocolate chip muffin, one of Cam's favorite just in case he wakes up and wants some of it. And ice vanilla latte. I smile at the batista and wait for her to tell me the price. When she does, I move to grab my card before the mysterious women behind me speak up. "Could you add an iced tea with that, and I'll be playing. Thanks." I turned around making eye contact with her, and now I didn't expect that to be her next move. She gestures me to a table. And I look her up and down before deciding to take a seat. I'm checking on Cam to see if he is still resting well. He is.
"You didn't have to pay for that." "Oo I know, but I thought it would leave a lasting impression." She states while smirking, I laugh managing to keep my volume to a minimum. "So you think you can buy me?" Before she can answer, the waiter comes up and gives us both our orders. We both bow slightly and say thank you. Managing to say it at the same time and laughing as the women walks away.
I'm Tiana, by the way, and the little man that you mistook for a girl is Cameron. As you can see, he is so tired, guess that what happens when Mama extends bedtime." She smiles before saying, "Well, like I said, I'm sorry about the whole gender thing."It's like 2023, I could get you canceled for that. You know." We both laugh again. Before I take a sip of my latte. "I'm Monika Shin. Nice to meet you." I move over to shake her hand. "Well, you've never heard of me," I look at her puzzled. I smirk. "Does that always work for you?"
She laughs, "I am quite famous and known around these parts, so usually ma'am." I stare her down before looking at her lips. "You know most people see the baby and then lose interest." She chuckled while finally taking a sip of her drink. "And most people would know who I am, so i guess I'm not most people, "So what I'm hearing is you think you got a chance, that's cute. Well then, let's see, huh?"
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Hello Ethie!! How have you been?❤️
I just read those "overworking reader with Artem and Zhongli" and they were so sweet, and I was wondering - if your requests are open if you could write something on that topic but for Gepard Geppie and Welt?<3 Comfort fluff, sweet comfort, tooth rotting safety- hwjwdkfkka
Thank you so much for your time either way!❤️
I've definitely been better...haha. Thanks for asking<3
Comforting an overworked S/O
Featuring: Gepard, Welt
General warnings: Gender neutral reader, pet names such as "dear" "honey" and "Love" are used, maybe OOC? I haven't played star rail as much as I would like lately since i've been on a Genshin hyperfixation this past month. But I shall try my best <3 I am not very confident in writing for welt either lol.
TW: None! Let me know if I missed any, and I shall update this section accordingly~
Gepard
You never thought you'd see the day your boyfriend, the most hardworking silvermane guard you have ever laid eyes on, would be chastising YOU over your workload rather than vice versa. He was practically begging you to take a break, and you fervently disagreed.
"Geppie, please," You sighed, turning in your chair and facing the tall blonde male, "I really, really need to get this down...it could determine my entire FUTURE! Quite literally!" Gepard doesn't enjoy arguing with you, and doesn't want to force you to do anything you rather not do. However he couldn't help but purse his lips and sigh in (very rare) mild annoyance.
"I...understand your duties are important to you, and I believe that working hard will get you everywhere you need to be, but I also..." He blushed and moved his hand behind his head, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I also think breaks are important...and taking care of yourself. You're the one who taught me that," His cheeks were painted a rosy hue as you sighed and sat down your pencil, rubbing your temples before nodding in defeat.
"Yeah," You grumbled, "you're right. I'm sorry." Gepard, with a big smile scooped you up excitedly with his strong arms and began to walk out of the room you were religiously studying in. You gasped in surprise and quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, eyebrows lifted in shock at his sudden actions.
"What're you doing??" You asked with a smile playing at the corner of your lips, Gepard smiling back at you.
"A change of scenery is always good...let's cook dinner together, or we could...um.." Upon entering the kitchen you noticed a plant you had not seen before sitting atop the kitchen counter, the leaves were withered and the flower was browning at the top. Gepard put you down quickly to rush over to the plant's side, flustered and trying to hide it.
"N-no! Don't look, I um..." You looked at him with an amused raised brow, you walked up to your tall boyfriend and stared him in the eyes with a challenging stare.
"Geppie..." You chuckled, "What was that flower? I don't think i've seen it before." Grumbling in embarrassment, Gepard pulled the flower pot from behind him, showing a withering...ball peonies? You couldn't tell exactly what kind of flower it was, but it didn't matter.
"It was supposed to be...a present for you for working so hard, but I guess I forgot to put it back in its hiding spot after I watered it and now I spoiled the surprise...but, um, I guess it isn't turning out as good as I hoped, I thought maybe with a little more care, it would bloom properly," The way his head drooped reminded you of a sad little puppy. Still, you couldn't help but smile affectionately towards the wilting bloom. You grabbed hold of the flower before gently kissing your boyfriend's cheek and setting it aside, his arms engulfing you in a hug. You could really feel just how much he cared for you, and how much he wished you would care for yourself just the same.
"Let's get dinner started, shall we, my love?"
WELT
You could feel his eyes burning the back of your head, his hands folded upon the handle of his cane staring at you from the door way of your bedroom.
"And just how long do you plan on neglecting your crewmates?" The brown-haired male inquired, "You've been here for a rather long time. The others are starting to wonder if you're alive." you chuckled at his rare sarcasm, turning to face welt with bags apparent under your eyes and fatigue obvious upon your person. His eyes widened slightly at your disheveled state, taking notice of the pile of study materials behind you, your unkempt hair, and an outfit he was pretty sure he saw you in at least three days prior.
"You look worse for wear," Welt pursed his lips, the grip on his cane tightening, "Still studying?" You sighed and turned back to your mess of a desk, running your hands through your hair before plopping your head against the table. You heard him advance towards you with the door behind him closing, a hand soon making its way to the top of your head.
"It is important to...shower, once in a while," Welt noted as he stroked the top of your head lovingly before pulling up a second chair to sit next to you. You already felt guilty, you knew what he was going to say and how he was going to lecture you about your pitiful state. Instead, he left out a light sigh, picking up a pen and pulling your notebook towards him.
"Which part are you struggling on? I'm fairly knowledgeable about a variety of things, perhaps I can assist you," He insisted. You shook your head and pulled the notebook out of his grasp, sitting back against the chair.
"I appreciate the sentiment, but I need to do this on my own. How will I succeed if I don't learn these things on my own?"
"And how do you suppose you will succeed if you work yourself to death?" He rebutted bluntly, removing the notebook from your hands and setting it against the desk. Welt took his palms and placed them upon your own, squeezing lightly.
"If you will not allow me to help you with your studies, at the very least allow me to help you help yourself. Have dinner with me." You bit your bottom lip in contemplation, glancing between your caring boyfriend and the pile of study material you have spent days staring at. Using his slender hands Welt swiftly placed his fingers gently against your chin, forcing your gaze away from the dreadful work and into his brown orbs full of pure affection. With a blush and a defeated sigh, you gave him a slight nod in understanding, causing a smile to curl onto his lips.
"Good. And...let's draw you a bath too," Welt said, standing up and holding his hand out. You gave him a flirty chuckle and half-joked "Will you be joining me?" Turning his head away from you and leading you to the door, he let out a scoff of amusement.
"Of course I will. But let's take care of your sustenance first, dear."
~~~
Masterlist
#Honkai star rail#Honkai star rail x reader#Honkai star rail imagines#Gepard x reader#Welt x reader#gepard honkai#Welt honkai
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Always By Your Side
Kaz Brekker x reader
Warnings; slightly ooc Kaz, death, mentions of sickness, blood, could be an interpretation of suicide if you look at the end closely
Words; 1155
Song; Saturn by Sleeping At Last
I've only read the first book in the Six of Crows duology, I haven't yet watched the show.
Anyway, kaz brekker is goated so here we are.
Also, the mention of three taps is supposed to be the I love you thing. I saw another fic that I'll have to find that talked about three taps with Kaz and I wanted to incorporate it and possibly write a separate fic with it as well. Once I find the three taps fic I read I'll for sure tag the creator because their writing was breathtaking.
Requests are welcome and encouraged! If you like my writing and would like me to write for another Fandom you can look at my pinned post for my Fandom list!
Thank you for reading <3
You taught me the courage of stars before you left
Kaz had lost everything. His mother had died during childbirth. His father in a farming accident. His brother due to sickness. He had lost so much. But he always had you. Except, now you too, were lost.
How light carries on endlessly even after death
Kaz watched as the Crow Club was laughing and dancing in honor of you. It was something you would’ve wanted instead of a bunch of people dressed in black while crying. He felt a twinge of guilt in his chest. You would’ve loved this. It was so upbeat and cheerful. It was happy, like you were. Kaz never understood how after everything this Saint forsaken world had thrown at you, you still held a smile on your face and a bounce in your step.
With shortness of breath
You explained the infinite
“Kaz.” You whispered, hand gripping his arm with whatever strength you had left. Thunder rang through the air as heavy rain poured down from the skies.
“Sh, rest, Y/n. Rest.” He instructed softly as he limped painfully with you in his arms, the blood from your abdomen staining his coat.
“Kaz, I love you.” You said carefully, feeling the breath slowly leave your lungs.
“Tell me that when you get better.” He demanded, pressure growing behind his eyes.
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist
“Kaz, you need to promise me something.” He ignored you, looking ahead determined despite his ankle begging for a break. “Kaz, please, look at me.” He didn’t answer, instead gasping as he dropped to the ground, his ankle giving out and tears spilling from his eyes.
“I can’t- I can’t do it.” He confessed. “I can’t lose you too, Y/n.”
You smiled and placed your hand on his cheek.
I couldn’t help but ask you to say it all again
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen
“You’ll never lose me.” You had said gently. “I’ll always be with you.”
“No, you won-”
“Sh, of course I will. I won’t ever leave your side. But I need you to promise me something, Kaz.”
I’d give anything to hear
You say it one more time
“What is it?” Kaz asked as you wiped away his tears.
“Become something more. More than Dirtyhands. Become the boy you once were.” You asked.
“He’s weak.”
“He’s happy, and soft, and sweet. Kaz, I love you so much, as you are now. But please, don’t let this be your life until the day you die. Be kind, Kaz.” You begged as your heart rapidly beat weakly against your chest.
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes
“I don’t know if I can do it without you.” Kaz said quietly, fear taking over his body.
You laughed weakly, “How many times must I tell you I’m not going anywhere? I’ll always be with you. In here.” You placed your hand on his chest, right above his heart. “And my ghost will haunt you forever.”
Kaz’s chest shook as a wet laugh came from his lips, “I’m so scared.” He said jokingly, but you could tell there was truth to his words.
You used the last of your energy to carefully pull his head down and meet your lips. Your lips were cold which made shivers run through Kaz’s body, reminding him of the sickly feeling of his brother's skin. Kaz shut his eyes tightly once your lips stopped moving and your hand fell limp. He pulled away and rested his forehead on yours as his tears mixed with raindrops.
Anyone who passed by the scene would be shocked to see the notorious Dirtyhands sobbing over a girl's body, clutching her tightly to his chest as he rocked back and forth. He prayed to Saints he didn’t believe to give you back your breath and the gentle thump of your heart, but they never came.
I couldn’t help but ask you to say it all again
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen
Kaz downed the rest of his drink, sitting down defeated on the stool next to him, looking out the window into the rainy streets. He knew he should be joining the group and doing what you had told him. But he couldn’t find the strength in himself to do so. Kaz was broken. Shattered into a million pieces. He wasn’t sure there was any fixing him.
I’d give anything to hear
You say it one more time
A shiver went down Kaz’s spine as a single crow landed in front the window, gently tapping three times onto the glass. Kaz’s posture straightened as he stared intently at the bird. Its beady eyes stared at him as his own eyes widened. He looked to his side, and although it was empty, he knew someone was there. He knew you were there. Probably watching the dancing with a wide smile on your face, overjoyed that this was all for you. Kaz smiled softly.
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes
Kaz looked to his side with a small smile, knowing you were there. Watching with a smile as he donated the money his latest heist gave him. He could never stop with the criminal life, it was too late for that. He could, however, bring good from it. He would never tell his fellow Crows what he did with his portion of the money they stole, never admitting to having a kind bone in his body. But he knew that despite it being done in secret, his kindness was enough for you.
With shortness of breath,
I’ll explain the infinite
Kaz carefully placed a chest full of millions of kruge on his desk as his dearest friends stood surprised in the office. Each Crow's eyes had widened, Jespers dramatically falling wide open.
“What is that for?” Wylan asked carefully, unsure of what Kaz had planned.
“Take it.” Kaz said evenly. “Split it evenly amongst yourselves and live the lives you have always dreamed of. Except for you Jesper, you are not allowed to gamble a penny of your kruge or it will be taken from you and donated.”
“Well, one, rude. And, two, Kaz, my dearest friend, what is wrong with you?” Jesper asked.
“Yeah, you’re acting weird and mysterious.” Inej said.
“Weirder and more mysterious than usual.” Nina added, earning a nod of agreement from Matthias.
Kaz smiled at them, genuinely smiled which took them aback. “Your debts are paid off, you’re free. Go. Live your lives.”
“And what are you going to do?” Matthias asked and Kaz looked slightly to his side where he felt your presence.
“I’m going to meet up with some people from my past. Catch up again.”
How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist
#aanoia#romance#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker#kaz brekker imagine#kaz brekker x you#six of crows#inej gahfas#shadow and bone wylan#wylan van eck#jesper fahey#shadow and bone#Spotify
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Romero Household: Chapter 1, Part 4
Dia de los Muertos wraps up and we visit our friendly neighbourhood infants!
CW: Discussions of death
Marta’s first language is Spanish so she is teaching Keira (and me) some common Spanish phrases/words
Abuelo/Abuela: Grandfather/Grandmother
Ay dios mio: omg equivalent
Buenas noches: Good evening / Good night
Carino: Term of endearment for a loved one
Cuídate!: Take care
De nada!: You’re welcome/no problem
Lo siento: Sorry
Padre: Father
Por favor: Please
Si: Yes
Te amo: I love you
With the departure of the Fosters leaving the couple alone, Marta has broken out the face paint to adorn her and Keira. It’s another way of honouring their ancestors.
Marta: Hold still por favor
Keira: I am holding still
Marta: Shhhh, moving your lips counts
Keira: Why didn't we do this before dinner
Marta: I haven't done it for ages so I'm not sure I'm good anymore. I didn't want the dinner thrown apart by focus on my lack of painting skill. Just one more line… there! All done, I’ll take a picture to show you
Keira: Wow this looks great! You’re really going all out this year
Marta: *sighs* I felt bad for all those years Liam didn’t let me make one
Keira: I should have done more than kick his ass
Marta: Carino violence solves nothing. He's in prison for now, let's not think of him
Keira: I’m sorry we didn’t make one at Alexander’s house, I didn’t realise what it meant
Marta: De nada. I didn’t say to you, how could you know
Keira: I suppose. But don’t let us miss it again
Marta: Si. I promise
Keira: Do you… do you think they would have liked me
Marta: I know they’re happy I’m happy but si. Padre would be happy you're active, he was to. And mama would love to talk to you about the ocean life
Keira: You think
Marta: Si. Being so close to the ocean was what she loved about Cuba. She missed it when we moved to Texas
Keira: Well I’m glad you left for Windenburg. Even though it was because…
Marta: Everyone was gone? I didn’t have to leave after padre and mama died. I had the community still but I felt alone. I don’t feel alone anymore
Keira: I’m so glad I worked up the nerve to propose
Marta: *giggles* It’s good you did or I would have had to do something extremely romantic
Keira: I mean… you could still do something extremely romantic if you wanted?
Marta: Maybe I’m saving it for the honeymoon
Keira: Can I get a preview
The two embrace on the sofa, feeling warm and fulfilled.
Abuelo Manuel: Did you see Rafael? She cooked the chimi to perfection. Remembered what we taught her
Padre Rafael: Si padre, she did a good job
Abuela Maria: Will you two shush, I’m trying to listen
Manuel: Corazon I think their conversation is finished
Mama Aymee: *sniffles* She looks so happy and grown up
Rafael: Ay dios mio, you’ll make me cry mi vida
Aymee: Lo siento. I just… we didn’t see our daughter for so long
Maria: You heard what that fiancé said, she’ll make sure Marta does the ofrenda now. She’s a keeper
Manuel: Do you think there will be a new generation next time we visit
Aymee: That would be nice *sniffles* even if would make me cry
Keira: The place definitely feels full when everyone is here, I thought we got a big unit
Marta: We did, people just fill it well
Keira: Am I meant to feel like I’m being watched
Marta: You’re meant to feel loved. I always want you to feel loved
Keira: I feel loved whenever I look in your eyes. Shall we go to bed
Marta: Si, I’ll just say buenas noches to everyone
Keira: We can leave the ofrenda up longer than tomorrow morning if you like
Marta: No. They’ll all be back in the forever save by then
Maria: Are you snooping
Manuel: No! I can’t snoop on what is out in the open, can I?
Rafael: I’m happy she’s still got these photos
Aymee: Liam didn’t take everything from her
Rafael: If I was still alive-
Manuel: There’s no point thinking about what we can’t do
Maria: She’ll be bueno
Rafael: Mi vida, it’s time to go
Aymee: Can’t I just watch her for another five minutes
Manuel: Dawn is coming, we must get back
Aymee: Buenas noches Marta, I leave all my love with you, te amo
In the morning Marta returns the living/dining room to its normal layout while Keira is on laundry duty. Taking their clothes to the shared laundry she wonders why so many people have left their washing in the machines. Being a helpful sim, she moves stuff to the dryers. Fingers crossed none of the clothes shrink!
Marta has harvested what she can from the garden and is singing to herself when Keira walks past in her work clothes.
Marta: Ay dios mio, is it 8am already?
Keira: Si. Te amo sweetheart
Marta: Te amo! Cuídate! Where did I leave my work gear?
Luckily she’s only a few minutes late to the local coffee shop, the perks of a quick commute. After an uneventful shift, where she mostly daydreamed about the upcoming wedding, she gets back home and hangs the washed clothes on the line. When Keira arrives back they go see the Staples.
Here Oli and Vernon are on the move! Marta scoops up Oli while Keira chats.
Marta: Do you want to hold him carino
Keira: Uhh, what if I break him
Margarita: You won’t, he’s sturdy
Marta passes over Oli, giving his tummy a cheerful tickle on the way.
Marta: You hold him for a bit, I’m going to play with Vernon
Keira: Okay but-
Marta: Who’s adorable Vernon? Is it you?
Keira: Sorry if we’re pushing in
Stefan: Don’t be silly. With two infants any helping hands are good
Keira: I think this is part of her plan to convince me to have kids sooner
Margarita: *laughs* I have to say she’s doing pretty well with Vernon, I love it when they laugh
Keira: Uh, anyway, we were wondering, since you’re a baker on the side Stefan, would you consider making our wedding cake?
Stefan: Sure thing! I have a free day tomorrow. Any special requests?
Keira: I think she said she’d like a pink one
Margarita: We had a pink wedding cake!
Stefan: Here, I’ll take him off your hands
Keira: Gracias
To her surprise Keira feels sad giving the infant back, especially as he smiles and giggles at her. Marta’s plan might be working.
Keira: Marta, sweetheart, time for dinner
Marta: Si, coming. Gracias for having us
Margarita: It was lovely to see people who can talk back
The whole group laugh as Stefan puts Oli on the playmat. Let me tell you, he is not happy our sims are leaving. After bursting into tears he glares angrily at his parents while we leave.
Previous ... Next
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The entree round begins! Who will cook the best dish? Who will cook the better soup? Find out... not in the next segment.
Previous / Next (Transcript under the cut)
(1.) [Mia] Somebody here did not fully follow the rules of Diced Junior.
(2.) [Carlo] And that would still be Lewis! A producer pointed out to us that Lewis here did not use the vegetables that were in the flatbread. We didn't even notice since the flatbread was so burnt.
(3.) [Lewis] Oh, I was supposed to use EVERYTHING from each basket ingredient? Anyway, thank you for the opportunity, judges.
(4.) [Mia] Thank you, Lewis. Please audition for Diced once you're older. We'd love to see you compete again.
(5.) [Lewis] Well, I already came to terms with being eliminated before they announced it. Maybe I will try Diced someday.
(6.) [Dulce] Bye, Lewis!!
[Alex] You did good, man.
[Rubiya] We'll miss you.
[Lewis] Bye, everyone. Good luck.
(7.) N/A
(8.) N/A
(9.) [Andrea] Chefs, please report back to your stations. Your baskets for the entree round have been placed.
(10.) [Dulce] Wow, they move fast here.
(11.) [Andrea] Inside your baskets, you'll find jicama, hatch green chiles...
(12.) [Andrea] ...goat chops, and chana masala.
(13.) [Rubiya] I'm pleasantly surprised with these ingredients! They won't be hard to combine. However, the real challenge here will be the time limit while using these complex items.
(14.) [Dulce] Yes! My mom is Mexican, so I am very familiar with jicama and chiles. Also, my mom's friend taught me how to cook some Indian dishes, so I know how to work with masalas. I haven't cooked goat yet, but I should be able to figure it out.
(15.) [Alex] I'm happy with the ingredients, just a lil worried about the chiles. Good thing I've cooked goat lotsa times by now.
(16.) [Andrea] Chefs, the 30-minute timer starts now!
(17.) [Rubiya] I'm making chana masala goat tacos with a green chile salsa and jicama dip.
(18.) [Rubiya] Tacos aren't necessarily easy to make, but with my thirty-minute time limit and these beautiful ingredients, this is the way to go! I'll incorporate the ingredients well. If only I could make the tortillas from scratch, but it is what it is.
(19.) [Dulce] I'm making a tomato soup with goat, jicama, chana masala, and hatch green chiles. I'll add sweet potatoes, onion, kidney beans, and green bell peppers.
(20.) [Dulce] There's a lot of things to dice and chop while also making sure the goat and sweet potatoes are thoroughly cooked, but I want to push myself. Also, the judges seemed to really like how I play with many different ingredients, so I want to do that again.
(21.) [Alex] I'm making an egusi soup with cubed goat meat, hatch green chiles, spiralized jicama, and chana masala. My other ingredients are tomatoes, onions, and spinach.
(22.) [Alex] Well, there aren't any egusi seeds here, so I have to use pumpkin seeds instead. I'll keep the name though, it sounds fancier that way.
(23.) N/A
(24.) [Andrea] Judges, any thoughts and opinions so far?
(25.) [Sofia] We love how confident these young contestants are.
[Mia] However, we also noticed how Alex and Dulce are both making soups. Unfortunately, that will make our judging harsher because we are going to have to compare the two.
(26.) [Carlo] Tsk, tsk. They should have thought more outside the box. Also, Dulce really has to watch the time. Andrea, please check on the contestants.
[Andrea] Will do, Carlo!
#alegria legacy#tjolc gen 1#tjolc#matchalovertrait#dulce alegria#lewis mack#rubiya jabal#alex marino#andrea mixon#mia d'angelo ramirez#sofia bjergsen#carlo mancini#sims 4#ts4#sims 4 legacy#sorry guys for this weird reversal plot twist lol#also hello somewhat consistent/decent lighting 😍😍 i've been waiting for you this entire episode#those tacos sound so good btw omg (disclaimer: i didn't think of those ingredients myself. but i did come up with the dishes)#also the judges are gonna taste all the dishes in one post (it won't drag on like last time) but that won't be until after the next post#next post might be of some interest tho 👀 idk you'll see
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