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ew-selfish-art · 4 months

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DP x DC AU: Danny desperately wants to find the explosion guy. Tim is really good at covering his tracks... he didn't account for ghosts.

The explosions make it onto TV as purported terror activity and most people haven't heard of that part of the world much less ever given a second thought to care about it. The only real reason it gets reported on has something to do with the Justice League and... Danny knows too much.

He's been in training for Clockwork's court (which he's suspicious of- feels like kingly duty bullshit- but Danny is playing along out of curiosity for now) and he's learned a lot about how the living and non-living worlds collide. That means learning about CW's usual suspects- one of which just happened to have a ton of bases around the area Danny was seeing on the news.

It didn't take long for Danny to try to piece together that whoever blew up Nanda Parbat was trying to fuck with the League of Shadows, and was doing it successfully. Less green portals in the world the better, same goes for assassins. But it gets Danny thinking... Maybe he can employ similar tactics on the GIW Bases that keep spawning on the edges of Amity Park. It would at least set them back while he and his friends navigated the help line desk to request Justice League intervention. None of them can leave Amity Park, so outreach is going to have to be creative.

So Danny figures he'll just find the guy. Call up some ghosts who were there, or er, came from there and get a profile and track him down. But the ghosts keep saying it was The Detective. Annoying!

Danny goes full conspiracy theory, gets Tucker and Sam involved, and begrudgingly asks Wes Weston his thoughts.

He hadn't expected Wes to garble out a thirty minute presentation (that had 100 more slides left to go before he cut it off) about how Batman totally trained with a cult and so did his kids. Danny kind of rolled his eyes but... hey, new avenue of searching in the Infinite Realms at least.

The ghosts confirm that Bombs is for sure not Batman's MO- But maybe his second kid would know? The second kid was already brought back to life though, so no way to easily reach him... Danny starts to realize that this might be the work of a Robin now. Wasn't the red one known for solving cold cases? (Sam provides this information- its a social faux pas to not know hero gossip at Gotham Galas- everything she's learned is against her will).

It all comes to a head when Danny goes about the hard task of opening a portal for the guy to come through at just the right time, explain the infinite realms so he doesn't panic and then describe what the fuck was going on with the GIW. It takes months, just over a full year, of random (educated guesses) portal generating- Finally, Red Robin drops into the land of the dead.

"So, you're the guy I've got to talk to about explosions right?" Danny enthusiastically asks.

Tim thinks he's died and landed in the after life following 56 hours of being awake and plummeting off the side of a building into a Lazarus pool. Nothing makes sense about the kid in front of him.

"Yeah, I got a guy for munitions." Tim answers cooly.

"How do you feel about secretly sanctioned government operations that violate protected rights?"

"Gotta get rid of 'em some how. Need me to point you in the right direction?" This might as well be happening.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny phantom #long post #tim drake #red robin #tim and danny team up to blow up the GIW au #Tim being known as the explosion guy is my favorite and i will not let this part of his lore go ignored #Jason is the munitions guy obviously and the ghosts go crazy over the gossip it enlights when he helps in amity park #Danny one hundred percent is living for this working relationship- what a weirdo -danny hasn't met someone stranger than himself in a min #tim bartering his services for a few more years of life and danny just pikachu facing him #Tim wants to improve his relations in the afterlife be he still completely thinks hes dead #danny: dude ur still alive #Tim: yeah thats the goal but i'll help you meet your goals first and then we can negotiate #Danny decides to make the guy super ghost rich (thinking big Haunt real estate) and send him home #Tim blows up the GIW with no remorse and with all the data back up for proper justice to be served court side #tim returns from the dead and this is how the bats learn that he's the one who blew up nanda parbat all those years ago #it takes danny so long to find tim bc tim was spiralling and only after bruce got back did he get into a normal routine enough to get got

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tutterypuff · 7 months

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also, everyone is talking about how Simon has this huge capacity for empathy this this and that about how empathy is so integral to his character as if this guy didn't just spend the first two episodes of this show torturing a goose to death

#simon petrikov #fionna and cake #adventure time #choose goose #justice for choose goose #rhymes aren't crimes #let him go #he's not just a battery to ME #he's a jaunty little fellow with a jaunty little outfit and you ELECTROCUTED him #nearly TO DEATH #People shocked that winter king was doing some fucked shit when this guy was actively torturing waterfowl who did nothing wrong #stop him #choose goose should take him to criminal court #simon petrikov literally started out this series with a hostage he has kept for god knows how long #whatever he does past this point is anyone's guess. Who fucking knows.#I'm cancelling him

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sqwdkllr · 4 months

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I am down bad for your designs they're amazing! May I request the Watcher with Cucurucho?

They sure have something going on,,,

Yeah,,, erm. There they are ! Absolutely only enemies nothing more to see here guys 👍 let’s be respectful now

#qsmp watcher #cucurucho #qsmp #fanart #my art #anon #ask #fun fact ! i was gonna scrap this design for cucu before tweaking it a bit to look how it does now #I like the cartoon logic of the face mask thing #glad these freaks are something you enjoy anon I have lots in the back burner that I just never post bc I don’t #really think about if someone else would like to see it?#or if it’s funny enough to share with the audience idk #I have this queued when I am at my first class so I will have forgotten I uploaded this #lets see how long it takes me to I remember I did this and have that regret settle in

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sergle · 6 months

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(re: sssniperwolf and jacksfilms) It's laughable that she escalated it that hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure stalking him like that is illegal and it's terrifying regardless, but Jack said in a stream (can't remember which one) that he wasn't about bringing up past controversies of hers or cancelling. And now she shows up outside his house (wtf!!!). Like he was willing to only call her out for stealing and freebooting but she's gone and stalked him and Jack doesn't seem like the type of guy to take that shit. Actual WTF moment from her part. wild

omg long post below bc apparently I have opinions: YES!! THAT'S WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT THIS... Jack has been genuinely diligent about keeping things on-topic in his streams, and hasn't brought up any of her other Stuff, or anything Personal. Despite the fact that she kickstarted the whole thing by making it INCREDIBLY personal and attacking his physical appearance... His goal has been to call out and bring attention to content theft, and he's stuck with it. Dude's also cared about this for years, and she's not the first content thief he's criticized. He just hates the way that freebooting has become so accepted-- to the point where youtube praised her for "coming up with such creative video ideas"? Hey! Ew! Dude wasn't trying to get her cancelled though, there was no smear campaign of her character. He's been rallying to get her to CREDIT the creators that she relies on for all of her content. It would set a precedent for all other "react" channels on the platform for one of the biggest channels on youtube to actually give credit where credit is due. Or, god forbid, get permission first? It's not hard. It's already done the job of making some other people who do "react content" self-analyze whether or not their content is transformative, and to maybe care about crediting the creators they rely on for their genre to work. There is a way to make this kind of video that isn't so slimy. And making fun of her lackluster-at-best reactions is so far from even being a big deal. Bc she literally does just sit there and say nothing. Plus, his goal has a clear End built into it: if she started shouting out the creators she takes content from, and put links directly to their pages in her video descriptions, the job would be done! That's what he's asking her to do. Real bare minimum stuff. It legit would have been easy to steer away from the content theft and to also talk about her history of lying to her audience! her ghosting a dying kid with cancer who was a big fan of hers! the fact that she's been arrested for armed robbery! her history of transphobia! He would also get more clicks that way, which is what she claims is his sole goal- to get more clicks. I'll bring it up though! She's been a terrible person the whole time, and has kept a steady course of manipulating her audience of young children and/or, let's be completely honest, simps- into thinking that she's a Wholesome creator. (And now, into thinking she's an innocent victim.) All of the actual effort put in by her has gone toward optics, not the content she puts out. A carefully constructed online persona, for one, but also literal appearances. Jack totally can't say this, bc she already went off the handle and said the only reason he doesn't like her is bc he Hates To See A Woman Be Successful. But I can! That was a cheap shot for her to use that argument when, for once, it's not applicable! Much the opposite, even! Dudes online wouldn't go to bat for her if she didn't look the way she does. And it weakens any case she'd have against him by making baseless claims like that. She banks hugely on being an attractive woman to get her clicks/following. A massive amount of effort is put into her appearance. The makeup, the lip fillers, putting her hair in little pigtails, the chokers and tube tops, the big non-prescription Nerd Glasses, the thumbnails where she has her mouth open in That Expression?

I don't even have to say anything. But making a weird facial expression and putting your hair in pigtails aren't moral failings. Showing up at someone's real life home (whose address you shouldn't even have access to), filming the front of their house at night, doxxing them to your audience of millions of people? Because you were mad at them online? That is fully scary! Yeah girl I'm pretty sure that Jack can press charges! There is absolutely no way to take the moral highground now that she's literally stalked him, and doxxed his home. She tried to goad him and Erin (Jack's wife) out of the house, also, which creeps me out even more-- because what was she planning to do? The fact that she's been arrested for violent crime before does pop into my mind! lmao! Jack was streaming a game at the time that she was outside his home, and these clips of him, his friends, and Erin reacting in real time to what is genuinely a scary situation have been taken down in case he needs to use them in legal action. Shit is legitimately serious!

#sergle answers #long post #LONGEST POST ON EARTH I'M SO SORRY #saying all this out loud only takes a few minutes but typing it... girl this is a BOOK #clearly I have thoughts on this Online Drama but also this isn't online!#these are people who exist in real life. and compromising a person's safety bc he criticized you for stealing tiktoks #is a real life thing. this isn't confined to online spaces! you can turn off your computer to get away from An Argument #but someone going to your house?? that's absolutely terrifying #and all of this is just because he's been telling her to credit the creators. it could have been resolved so simply.#I hope he takes legal action against her bc he genuinely has grounds to do so.#and I can't imagine how terrified and upset I would be if someone was outside my door. filming my house for their audience.#also the 'what if the roles were reversed' argument is rarely made in good faith... but she's already brought up the topic.#this would be getting even more coverage and the optics would be Even Creepier if a strange man with millions of followers showed up #at the home of a woman- just bc she criticized his videos- filming her home address for all to see and trying to get her to come outside.#It's just as creepy that sssniperwolf did this as it would be coming from ANYONE else #it's been downplayed bc her being a little skinny woman means that A Man shouldn't be threatened by her #which. even if she wasn't going to Do anything. any one of her rabidly loyal online followers MIGHT. she's not the only one who could go to #his house now! anyone could show up.#sergle.txt #Jacksfilms #Sssniperwolf

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starry-bi-sky · 4 months

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Clone^2 Damian

If you really think about, Damian's situation in the clone^2 au is... kinda tragic? Especially in the early months of his arrival. Like,,, think about it. Damian has always known he was a clone of Damian Wayne, that he was a copy of the blood son. There was nothing 'original' about him, not even his name (of which at least Danny has that). He was just... a replacement. A disposable one, to boot.

And he knew that, to an extent, by the time he was six years old. he might not have been actively acknowledging it -- he's six years old -- but deep down he knew. And like, he's six years old. Every small child craves the love and affection of an adult, especially their parents, and even though he knew he was clone, I imagine he still considered - and still does consider, somewhat - Talia and Bruce as his mother and father. And I really doubt he was... getting it?

Now, I know Talia loves Damian, her son. At least in some interpretations she does, and in this au she does. But... a clone of her son? I'm not so certain if she would have the same affection for baby Dames as she would for Damian. I don't think she would treat him badly, but I don't think Talia would treat him warmly either. Kinda just, distant. Colder than she would have been with OG Damian.

And, I know I've mentioned Damian's arrival from Danny's point of view, and its kind of comical kind of insane from his perspective -- a little boy clone of Damian Wayne falls through a portal and immediately attacks him. That sounds like a bad joke.

But, if you think of this from Damian's point of view? It's like he just got dropped into a scary movie. Like, think about it. You're six years old, and suddenly a portal, as green and as swirling as your grandfather's pools, opens up beneath your feet and sucks you through.

After an intense bout of vertigo, you end up in a massive, urban city -- completely different from the rural mountain palace that you lived in for the last six years of your life, and in this city, you don't know any of the language. You don't know what anyone is saying, you can't read any of the signs - you are completely stranded, away from home.

And then, to make things worse, you're facing a figure with a terrifying mask and eyes as burning green as the portal you fell through. Of course Damian's first instinct, six years old, is to attack. He's terrified.

And this figure, he's not a good fighter, but he's fast, and he dodges you quickly. He grabs your sword with his hands, and tries to restrain you, saying something in a language you don't know. Naturally, Damian is just scared. He's six! He'd just be learning how to read if he was normal child going to school.

This figure halfway through the fight yanks off his mask -- he realizes you're scared -- and looking at you now, is a youthful version of your father. This is a clone of your dad, someone you have never met but, six years old, still wants to. Damian gets defensive. This is an imposter.

But this imposter eventually gets you home with him - and he's using his little box, his phone, to communicate with you through a mechanical voice speaking in arabic. and it's frustrating. The boy, the imposter, can say whatever to you just fine, but trying to talk back is a hassle and a half. He's six, he doesn't have that much patience.

He wants to go home.

And so he keeps trying to run away. He keeps trying to find out of this hellish concrete jungle, and he keeps getting lost. It's loud, and busy, and there are people talking to you and you don't understand them, and there are rules and signs you don't understand - Damian tries to cross the street and nearly gets hit by a car. He doesn't know how the road signs work, he was never taught. They didn't get to that.

And he gets lost. And it gets dark, and Damian is brave, but he is six, and this is the worst stress he's been under in all his six years of life. He wants, desperately more than anything, to go home. Why wouldn't he? The only stable... semi-stable environment he was in just got ripped out from under his feet, literally! He wants his mother.

And it's not happening.

But there's something good to be said, at least. The imposter that looks like his father always comes and finds him, no matter what. He could have left that morning, and he will find Damian at midnight, frazzled and worried, and carrying an extra jacket with him because it is cold in Amity Park and Damian is six years old.

And sometimes Damian attacks him - he's scared and stressed and he doesn't want to be here. And every time he catches the sword. Even though Damian can see it cut into his hand and pearls of blood well up and stains his fingers. Even though Damian can see him wince in pain and bite his lip, he still catches it.

But with that little box, he coaxes Damian to come back with him. It's cold, it's dark, Amity Park is unsafe at night. They can figure something out tomorrow, please. And every time, he agrees, reluctantly. And the imposter takes the extra jacket he brought with -- a flannel, a hoodie, a jacket -- and he wraps it around him. It's warm, Damian's clothes are not that thick, and even though he thinks he might hate this imposter, he still sticks close to his legs as he leads him down the street.

And sometimes the imposter carries him, because Damian's shoes are not that thick, and he cuts his foot on broken glass while they're walking home. The imposter sits in the bathroom with him and carefully cleans the cut out, and makes sure it doesn't get infected.

There's hope you know, he still has it. His mother will be looking for him. She'll be worried. He's important to them. Damian may not be the original, but he is still a blood son. He is still her son. She will come find him. This nightmare will end soon. He can go home.

And then weeks pass, and nothing. Then months, and nothing. His family is not coming for him, and it hurts. Hurts more than anything. And yet while that happens, the boy he's attacked, and hurt, teaches himself arabic in order to speak to him. He takes Damian out of the house one afternoon and buys him new clothes, or tries to. And then he keeps buying him new clothes. He gives him blankets and gives up his bed to him until they can get him one himself, and steadily he teaches Damian english.

This boy is kind. Kinder than Damian's ever experienced, and he doesn't know what to do with it. He's devastated by the fact that he is not as important to his family as his family is to him. What do you do when you're six years old and you learn something like that? When a random stranger who looks like your father is kinder to you, and cares more about you than your family did?

And then Damian tells him he's a clone. He's Damian Wayne's clone, and he tells him his purpose - that their grandfather made him to kill him. And the boy, the imposter, Damian thinks he probably already knows that he's a clone. But he doesn't say that. He just nods, and asks him if he wants to tell his original about him.

Damian says no. He doesn't want to. He's tired of living in the shadow of his original. He wants to keep this to himself. This is his. For once, all of this is his.

And to his surprise, the imposter doesn't try and convince him otherwise. He just nods, and says okay. And when Damian asks why, the imposter - his brother - looks at him and says.

"I don't care about Damian Wayne. I care about you." And in Damian's gobsmacked silence, his brother continues. He tells him that if Damian doesn't want to tell his original that he exists, then they don't need to. They don't need to worry about the LoA going after him, because clearly if his 'grandfather' needs to make a clone of Damian in order to take him out, then whatever it was that Damian Wayne was doing to keep himself safe, was working.

"Wayne already has people in his corner, he's got Gotham's army of vigilantes to keep himself safe." his brother says with his eyes as blue as moonlight. "You, however. Do not." And he continues, and says that if Damian Wayne has the same training as Damian does, then he will be fine. He doesn't need to be aware of his clone. Because if DW doesn't know about Damian, then the LoA doesn't either.

And here's the thing. Damian would not have survived in the LoA for long. Not as a clone. No matter what, he was going to die no matter what he did, and sooner rather than later. The sword of Damocles was always hanging above his head in the League of Assassins.

That portal, and meeting Danny, saved his life. There's no way around it. And to an extent Damian knows this even at six years old. He may not be aware that he would've died, but he knows that meeting Danny was the best thing to happen to him.

It's no wonder after that, that Damian is as clingy to Danny as he is. Danny is the first person he's met to offer him unconditional love, with no strings attached, only pure affection.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpdc #dpxdc crossover #clone^2 #like god can you imagine how scared he must've been? how afraid? he just wants his mom - only to realize he doesnt even matter to her #dpxdc au #danny fenton is not the ghost king #this poor kid man. no wonder he latched onto danny the moment he gave up on the league like a leech. he's a six year old kid man and #it doesnt matter how smart he is or how mature he acts. he still is six years old. he still needs that validation and affection from adults #or from people older than him. and his emotional needs were just not being met in the league.#cue the song “two” from sleeping at last - some of their songs are very clone^2 honestly.#'sweetheart you look a little tired. when did you last eat? come in and make yourself right at home. stay as long as you need.'#'tell me is something wrong? if something's wrong you can count on me'#'its okay if you can't find the words. let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders'#'like a force to be reckoned with. am i the ocean or a gentle kiss. i will love you with every single thing i have'#'like a tidal wave i'll make a mess. or calm waters if that serves you best'#'i will love you without any strings attached'#like just. just *imagine* being in damian's shoes during all of this. he's *six* you guys. i've worked with six year olds and they're #pretty independent but they're still six. they get excited when they see their parents and they get upset when an adult is angry with them.#they're still developing their motor skills. they're still developing everything else!

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bluespiritshonour · 14 days

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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

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paimonial-rage · 2 months

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otome isekai snippets - geo boys

synopsis: in which your favorite characters get dropped into a random stereotypical isekai plot of the author's choosing characters: albedo, gorou, itto, zhongli notes: title, synopsis, then snippet

Albedo - Protecting the Hero With Love

The hero’s journey was met with betrayal from every end, the first of which from his adoptive guardian, Duke Kreideprinz, who experimented on him endlessly as a child in an attempt to use his unique mana to defy the gods. Reborn as the hero’s sibling, there was no way you would be letting your brother go down such a harsh path! First obstacle? You would stop the duke from ever taking notice of your brother! Wait, what do you mean marriage!?

“Goodnight!” You exclaimed as you slammed your bedroom door shut.

You ignored the heat that flooded your cheeks as you fled to the comforting embrace of your bed. Your hands shook as you took your fluffiest pillow, buried your face into it…

And screamed.

Something was wrong. Something was very very wrong. Why in the world was he doing things like… that!? Dining with you every evening, placing his hand upon your waist in public, walking to your room at night and taking your hand to kiss while he looks up at you with those piercing blue–

You screamed into your pillow again.

What in the world was going on!? He wasn’t supposed to be like this! By saving his sister from her terrible fate, you planned to prevent him from even taking interest in your brother’s mana. He was supposed to thank you with a sum of money and then send you on your way. His offer of a marriage contract as a form of protection for you and your brother came as a surprise, but when he simply stated it would be a benefit to him as well, you agreed. Since it was a mutually beneficial arrangement, he certainly had no reason to take interest in you.

So why in the world was he–

You slammed your fist into the pillow.

You knew the duke! Not only did you know him from the book, but you even heard rumors of him before you even met him in this world! He was supposed to be a loner! He was dismissive of most of his peers! He preferred the company of beakers and potions to actual people! The only person he truly cared about was his sister! So what in the world was that!? Just as his lips brushed against your fingers, he gazed up at you with those seafoam eyes and–

“So you don’t mind if I pursue you seriously then?”

You flopped forward onto your pillow and buried your face into it. Your heart couldn’t take this. Especially not when he looked at you like that.

gorou, itto, and zhongli under the cut!

Gorou - I’m Not the Villainess Anymore!

It was the classic tale told many times past of a beautiful, yet pitiful woman that was saved by a handsome man. Together they overcame jealous villainesses, corrupt politicians, and jealous older siblings to live happily ever after. But that was not your story. You, as the jealous ultimate villainess, were exiled to a lonely monastery at the edge of the kingdom. But you know what? It was about time! Finally, you can live your life unfettered by the chains of the novel! But if that was the case, why does the head knight keep bothering you!? Your job as the villainess is done! It’s about time he left you alone!

You bit your lip as you scrubbed that light spot in the corridor for the fiftieth time. Who would have thought that after months of getting General Gorou to leave, the moment your wish came true you wanted nothing more than to keep him here with you. You knew his strengths and accomplishments. You knew he wouldn’t be taken down easily. But the thought that he’d be going up against the Shogunate…

You gritted your teeth and pressed your scrubber even harder into the spot.

Who cared? Regardless of what happened, Sangonomiya Kingdom had nothing to do with you. Your job there was done. And once General Gorou left, you’d finally be free. You’d finally be able to live your life the way you wanted to. You would be able to leave the monastery behind, jump on a ship to a land far away, and restart your life there. And–

You froze when you heard the sound of hooves accompanied with a familiar voice.

“Woah there! Jeez, I know you’re happy to go running again, but this won’t be for fun, boy.”

General Gorou? Was he leaving already?

Your heart caught in your throat as you tossed everything to the side and dashed toward the front doors. Throwing them open, you froze upon seeing the general securing the last of his luggage to his trusted steed. And when his eyes fell upon you, he froze in return. Was he at a loss of what to say just like you? But by the steely expression that soon overtook his face, it seemed he found his words first.

“I’ll return safely to you, I promise.”

You wanted to laugh in response. He’ll return safely? How could he promise such a thing so easily? The Shogun’s army was mighty and the Sangonomiya Kingdom was so small. Sure, he was a mighty warrior. Sure, he proved himself in battle many times over, but that didn’t mean–

He took your hands and squeezed them tightly.

“I’ll come back to you safely. I promise. So…” He then cupped your cheek and smiled that adorable smile of his. “Don’t worry too much, okay? Make sure to eat your vegetables. And don’t get into fights with the priest. Oh! And the children adore you, so I’ll check to see you set a good example for them when I return.”

Disbelief exploded from your chest in the form of a bark of laughter.

“Don’t scold me right before you march to your death! Don’t worry about me! Just…” You turned away as tears filled your eyes. “Just come back alive.”

Itto - My Seventh Round of Life

You lived six lives before this one, each ending in failure. Murder, sickness, betrayal—the list goes on. You did everything right. You fulfilled all the duties of each life, and still each time ended in your early demise. So when you woke up for the seventh time, you decided you had enough. You’ll give life one last chance. This time you’ll make your own decisions! Although… getting caught by a gang of bandits certainly was not one of them!!!

“You can’t just… do this!!! They’re not going to allow it!” You exclaimed as you tried to pull the big burly oni back.

You had no clue what in the world made him think it was okay to simply set up a stage in the middle of such an illustrious city, but here was this big dope doing so! Didn’t he know what could happen? What if permits were needed? What if everybody was arrested for the fifth time this month!? But much to your dismay, Itto erupted in a big belly laughter at your despair.

“C’mon, First! Why are you getting your obi all tied in a knot? It’s not a big deal. We've done this maaaany times and it always turned out fine. Just trust me! It’s gonna be a riot!”

You wanted to scream. Of course, he wouldn’t see anything wrong with this. Didn’t this guy have any sense of self-preservation? But when you turned to Shinobu for assistance, there she was supervising the setup of the stage. Was literally everyone in this accursed gang insane?

Upon noticing your distressed expression, Itto let out a sigh. Soon you were wincing as a huge hand ruffled your carefully styled hair.

“Don’t worry, I get it! You’re standing here brought to tears over worrying about your great boss. It’ll be fine!” But when your expression didn’t change, his turned stern. “Look, if you spend all your time racking your brain over hows-its and whats-its, you’ll get all old and pruney before you know it. You only live once. Might as well make it worth it, right?”

You wanted to laugh. If only he knew this was your seventh life. You got killed for less. But… unlike your previous lives, it wasn’t as if the Arataki Gang was involved in anything illegal. Their antics only incurred, not the threat of bows and spears, but the rolling of eyes. You left your old life away too. They didn’t want you anymore. So… perhaps… Perhaps it couldn’t be that bad?

Your shoulders dropped.

“Fine.”

So when he jumped in front of the crowd with fireflies strapped to his horns and the rest of the gang jumping and dancing around him, the audience hooted and hollered with glee. With the music twanging high in the air and the children of the city rushing around you, somewhere along the line you found yourself laughing along too. It felt odd. Weird. Like there was a lightness in your chest you never felt before.

Was this what it felt like to live?

Zhongli - I Didn’t Mean to Sleep With the Celestial Emperor

Every century, the celestial emperor came down to the Kingdom of Liyue to grace his people with the divine knowledge needed to flourish until his return. After enjoying the week-long festival in the harbor to your heart’s content, you were excited for the main event. But as the celestial emperor descended from the heavens, what filled your chest was not awe, but confusion. Wasn’t he the guy you slept with last night?

“It has been said that while the Harbor represents the will of Liyue, Qingce Village represents its heart. It is a joy to see that it has remained just as I remembered.”

“O-Oh, is that so?” You asked as the corner of your smile twitched slightly.

You didn’t know how it came to this, bringing the celestial emperor around Liyue, that is. When you first saw his face, you nervously assumed you were mistaken. You clearly saw him descend from the heavens, after all. The man you spent a passionate evening with the night before certainly could not be him. But when he locked eyes with you from the parapet, dread filled your stomach.

You tried. You really did. The moment the procession was over, you upped and headed straight to the inn to pack your belongings to leave and leave to anywhere out of Liyue Harbor. But that would’ve been too easy. No, the moment you rushed downstairs and paid your bill, you turned to run straight into a young adeptus and was therefore whisked over to the man himself.

Though it would have been weird, you would have been fine if he simply wished to thank you for the evening, but things were never that simple, were they? No, when you were brought before him, he said that you promised to show him the delights of Liyue. You said he could take it as a verbal contract between you both and he wished to cash in on it.

Now, let it be said that you didn’t mean it. After having had a few drinks last night, you were in the mood to flirt and really, could you be held accountable for what came out of your mouth? You didn’t think he’d hold you to it! But at the same time, how could you refuse!? Only a fool would invalidate a contract made with the very being of contracts!

So here you were bringing the celestial emperor around as if he were some random normal traveler from a foreign land trying to hide from the common folk the divinity that oozed off of him in waves. It certainly did not help that he was handsome to boot and could steal hearts with a simple smile. And when he directed all that at you…?

“To be able to share this view with you…” His amber eyes glowed with warmth. “Your presence makes this trip even more of a delight.”

You couldn’t think straight.

#genshin impact #albedo #arataki itto #gorou #zhongli #albedo x reader #arataki itto x reader #gorou x reader #zhongli x reader #my writing #genshin x reader #i'll be honest i did not think i'd be posting anything this month i am just as shocked as you guys are #i've technically had majority of these done for probably more than a year HAHA;;;;#i will say that i am planning on eventually writing these for all of the boys... eventually #but i mean it took me a year to come out with this so who knows how long it'll take me for everyone else haha;;;;

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synthshenanigans · 4 months

Text

Theres yet again so much to talk about this video but I wanna say

Theres water already surrounding the pool. Like he already dunked himself in it.

How many takes.

How many times did he throw himself into this fucking kiddie pool

#you could say that putting water in the pool is why there was water but shush #its hilarious to imagine that he did MULTIPLE takes of himself ragdolling into a fuckin kiddie pool #ALSO THE SPAGHETTI CHOKING PART #He had to have like sat there for a couple seconds to get a proper cut for the video totally #so like how long did he just sit there just full face in a plate of spaghetti #at most like 5 seconds if that. not a long amount of time but like enough to be insanely funny #greatest video ever actually #everyone else can stop uploading now bro won youtube #chonny jash #moss post #if theres a blooper video its going to be so so fucking funny i already know it

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zoros-bandana · 11 months

Note

y/n gets turned into a child by someone’s devil fruit power and zoro takes care of her

Childs Play

(SFW)

Warning: protective Zoro, yelling, mention of fighting, mention of swords, mention of poison and medicine, mention of being hurt

Summary: After being attacked by the Ko Ko no Mi and turned into a child, Zoro refused to let you out of his sight until you turned back. Losing his way back to the ship his day only grew worse, tackling numerous setbacks as he fought to return you to your friends; desperate to turn you back.

Word Count: 3,400

Zoro knew splitting up was a bad idea.

From the moment the crew had landed on the island he had a strange feeling, instantly sinking his stomach. It was if someone was watching him, and although he remained senseless around the rest of the crew, he grew paranoid something were to happen to you.

His protests were ignored as the crew decided to split, losing you to a gathering including the navigator and sniper; heightening his fears more. Luffy encouraged him that you were strong and would be okay, distracting Zoro with concerns for his clueless captain as they trailed through the island.

Once the crew had reunited at the designated spot perched on the other side of the island, Zoro's fears resurfaced. His group was the last to arrive - due to his own useless sense of direction and Luffy's lack of attention - everybody unusually quiet upon their return. There were no half-ass remarks about their lateness, no stab at his sense of direction, not even a smirk from Sanji.

Something was wrong.

Darting his eye around, Zoro noted everyone was here, all except for you. Your group bunched together, and despite your height difference, he could spot you easily within a busy crowd.

His heart dropped.

"Where's (Y/n)?" Zoro questions, his fears rising. His voice cracked as he spoke, clearly distressed upon his missing partner.

The crew you were assigned to looked at each other, sheepishly avoiding responding; knowing how protective he was over you. It was obvious to the crew how much he cared for you, giving into the constant teasing as soon as you confidently reciprocated his feelings.

"Well..." Nami finally spoke, looking behind her. "She's here"

Everybody's eyes darted to Nami, watching as she lead through a small child from behind her, hanging onto her leg. The small child resembled all you same features, carrying the same style and hair down to the miniature weapon attached to your hip. Slowly you lifted your head up, flashing your large bright eyes up to Zoro, almost pleading for him to help.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Zoro moved quickly towards Nami, meeting you as you held your arms out, letting him scoop you into his chest. He carefully tucked you into the open flap of his robe, holding you close as if to shield you from his own anger.

"We got attacked by a group of pirates. Y/n was stuck against someone with the Ko Ko no Mi, and he turned her into a child" Robin kept her voice poised, wishing to diffuse Zoro's rage.

"Well why didn't you get him to turn her back?"

"They fled the island before we had the chance"

Zoro sighed, darting his eye down to look at you, quickly checking over that you were okay. You had remained silent since he saw you, pressed tightly to the bodies of people who cared for you, feeling almost helpless of your small state. Although suffocated in the fabric of Zoro's robe you remained unharmed, not even a scratch resting upon your skin.

This time Zoro stood his ground, his paranoia had left you affected and he wouldn't let it happen to you again. He didn't care who listened to him, he needed to reverse what had happened to you, even if it meant doing it alone.

"Do you think you can turn her back?" Zoro looked down towards Chopper, having faith in the young doctors abilities.

Chopper thought for a moment, doubting his own skills. It would be a challenge, to reverse a devil fruit curse, however, the doctor was up for it; knowing it would help his friend.

"I'll do my best, Zoro!"

"That's my boy"

Dismissing the original plan, the crew headed back towards the ship, prioritising your health. As the island deemed quiet, a unanimous decision was made that exploring the island could wait until you were back to normal; or better yet find the pirate who attacked you. Zoro situated huddled in the middle of the crew, guarding you close to his body, your head resting against his chest. Every now and then you would make small squeaks, alerting him to look down, checking on you. He would meet your gaze, much wider and softer than when you were your regular age, eyes brimming with almost iridescent tears as if you were in a constant stage of worry.

Leaning down, Zoro swiftly pressed his lips to the top of your head, more comfort than romance, reassuring you that you were safe with him. As he looked up he stopped, halted by the sudden disappearance of the crew; having only seen them moments before. He looked around, checking every direction he could to search for any sign of his friends, listening out for their voices.

"Zoro?" you muffled, voice cracking in fear. You voice had heightened in pitch, making it seem almost deafening, as if you were straining your voice to be heard. "I'm scared"

Zoro grunted, his hand coming up to shield you, sliding you deeper under his robe. "It's alright, Y/n, nothing is going to happen to you"

"You promise?"

"Yeah, I promise"

Holding his other hand over his swords, Zoro decided to move, pressing on through the thick shrubs in hope to find someone from the crew. He called out various names, alternating through the crew, purposely leaving out Sanji due to bitter intent. When he was met with silence he gave up, swapping directions to trudge slowly up a steep hill.

It stood overly wide, however the incline provided a challenge, a slippery wet loosening his grip to climb. Huffing harder, Zoro dug his heels in firm, trudging on despite the obvious struggles. From his perspective, the top of the hill looked promising, proving a clear source of light to look down upon the island; hoping to make the whereabouts of the ship more noticeable.

As he eventually reached the top, Zoro noted a thick fog that wasn't there before. It circled around him quickly, hazing in deep purple and blue, stretching around as to push him to retreat back down where he came from. Deciding to push on he took a few steps into the fog, understanding the danger if he were to slip with you attached to him.

His movements were groggy, as if wading through water, slowing down the more he reached the apex of purple; unable to see. You coughed heavily, taking in the laced air, spluttering at the bitter taste. As Zoro inhaled he could feel his body begin to shut down, blackening out as if the fog held some kind of poisonous properties.

Swearing under his breath, Zoro tried to move, wishing to escape and get you to freedom, your body already growing limp in his chest. He didn't care what direction he faced, he needed to get you to freedom, even if it meant back down the hill.

His movements grew sluggish, slowing him to a holt, the fog clinging to his body in a tight pull. It weaved through his legs, sticking against him to weight him down, noticeably thickening as it made contact.

One hand continued to hold you against his chest, keeping hidden, delusional that it would shield you against the fog, but he had to try. His other loosened his sword, quickly pulling it into action, the coagulation thickening the longer he stayed still. In smooth motions he chopped around his legs, slicing through the thick purple clumps, careful not to range you in his swing.

As he attacked, the fog began to disperse, thinning into a light and pliable ribbon, dazzling in iridescent tones. It moved along the now visible grass, weaving like a snake on the run, frightened by his impressive techniques. The rest of the fog followed, leaving him gasping for deep breaths, relieved his senses were returning. Caught in his overwhelming breaths, Zoro dropped onto his knees, bending forward to cuddle you, listening out for any disturbance in your body.

Zoro's sword dropped next to his side, half hidden through the strands of grass, his care shifting back to you, his surroundings clear. He was unsure how this happened, viewing the island for hours in a quiet and peaceful light, the sudden attack seeming alien to the island he thought he knew.

In gentle pats, he tapped against your back, half-remembering Chopper's care upon a choking crewmate; actions softer due to your vulnerable build. You let out a hearty cough against his chest, relieving Zoro as he sat up, easing his tight hold against your frame. His eye was quick to look around, assessing his next move, noting a clear in his surroundings promising him what he previously believed.

Situated through a winding road, covered by a small village, sat the Thousand Sunny, the masts clear and calling to Zoro with inviting intent. He chucked a small smile, proud of his defeat, feeling less hopeless than before. Dismissing to anyone who wasn't you, he would argue his sense of directions were strong, however, having you here relying on him to guide you he held some uncertainty in that statement. The ship was now in plain sight, all Zoro had to do was push on and follow the sails.

Not without some help, however.

"Oi" Zoro outstretched his arm, pointing to the sails. "You see that out there?"

Your head turned, focusing on the ship you recognised well. It deemed bigger now you had shrunk, an advantage to you Zoro was sure of.

"Keep an eye on it for me, alright? I need you to guide us back there safely"

Agreeing with a small squeak, you repositioned to face out, adjusting your back against Zoro's chest. His hand stayed over you, keeping you pinned against him, proud of your continued determination to find your friends.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zoro noticed a strange figure lunging beside him, hurling towards him at outstanding speeds. In an instant Zoro reached for his swords, forgetting about the one lost through the grass, shielding you both in a cross of clattered metal.

There stood a moment of harsh clatter, echoing through your ears, almost deafening. As they collided, Zoro's hand came away, letting an unbalance tip you forward.

You hit the grass with a small yelp, rolling down the other side of the hill before Zoro had a chance to stop you; quickly falling out of his sight. Torn between following you and defending himself, Zoro struggled to keep focus, slipping against the wielded sword that would usually be split by his full attention.

The figure holding the sword revealed to be a man, no larger than Zoro's arm, fluttering in mid-air. Behind stood a pair of deep black wings, curling as they hummed with every flick, motioning a small gust of wind. As he opened his mouth, a blood curdling scream shot through the air, Zoro's ears popping at the sound. He had never come across someone so perplexing, unsure if this person was a figment of his imagination; twisted from the lack of air left from the fog.

Understanding he didn't have time to think it over, Zoro forced himself to pull whatever energy he had into this fight, willing to forget about your safety for a moment.

Clattering their blades with a steady rhythm, each reciprocated each others drawn attacks, matching one another perfectly. The man continued to dance around Zoro's head, spinning with grace and precision dodging each strike as neatly as Zoro did with him. They continued their dance for mere minutes, Zoro growing agitated at the passing time, knowing he needed to get to you quickly.

Switching his attention to the blade in his left hand, Zoro allowed the one in his right to curl around, swiping at the man's feet. The man forced another scream, dodging the attack as he moved to the left, striking back at Zoro with the same enthusiasm.

In the split second the man counteracted his attack, Zoro was preparing his next move, allowing a more predictable wave to fool the unsuspecting man. He had run this attack many times before, luring the man in for his upcoming sword style, itching to use it against someone as agile as him.

"Nana-Juu-Ni Pound Ho; 72 Pound Cannon!"

Landing on his feet, Zoro's eye caught his fallen sword, ignoring the sound of the man's body crashing to the ground. He didn't have the time nor the empathy to check the man's status, fleeing the scene his only chance and returning to you.

In one quick move he yanked back his sword, placing it steady into the holder, his body in a rush to follow in the direction you rolled.

Running down the hill, Zoro struggled to keep up, tripping over himself as he called out your name, unwilling to give up until he saw you. Fed up with the brutal antics of this island, a blistering heat burned his ears, ready to take you home. He was tired, ultimately exhausted by the building stress through the day, unsure why this once quiet island had turned against him now. He had lost you once, ending in a disaster, and he would be damned to let it happen again.

He couldn't lose you again.

"Y/N!" Zoro screamed, looking around desperately as he reached the base of the hill. Everything seemed like a blur, mixing into a wash of colour that stretched beyond the horizon. Everything seemed too much, too loud, his breathing so rapid he could feel his chest cave with each crack of his ribs.

"Zoro!"

Turning towards the sweet voice, Zoro tumbled into the grass, crawling until he met you; pulling you towards him in one tight move. His hands shook as he held you, deeply sorry for lowering his guard and putting you in danger. He couldn't imagine what he would do if he couldn't find you, see you, returning back to the ship with his tail between his legs desperate for assistance to find you.

His eye curled at the sight of your face, noting the specks of dirt and the tangle in your hair, down to the long scratch that dawned across your cheekbone, mimicking that of your captain.

He had caused this.

"I'm so sorry..." Zoro trailed off, positioning you back into his robe "I promise I'll get you back to the ship now, okay? Just stay tucked away and I'll do everything else. I'm sorry I let this happen"

Deciding to move on his promise, Zoro quickly returned to his feet, forgetting about the earlier agreement between you both. You looked over your shoulder, pointing towards a patch of blue dotted between tall pine trees, unusually sparse for this time of year. You didn't wish to let his regret linger over you both, nor did you wish to sit by after feeling Zoro be so deflated. "There".

Zoro followed your finger, nodding as he trusted your instincts more than his own, taking off towards the town that clouded the ship. He was quick to move, wishing to avoid lingering, feeling as if he had wasted enough time. He refused to part his eye off the sail, latching onto it, despite his clumsy attempt to wade to safety.

Taking in a deep breath, Zoro felt relieved stepping foot through the town, ignoring the blatant stares as he moved through the crowds of people. He knew it was an odd sight compared to the quiet life the townspeople were used to, a strange face shifting opposite the grain of people. He could sense their judgement as he picked up his pace, practically running through the street to get to the dock, relying on you to keep him concentrated.

You continued to point in the direction of the sail, knowing as soon as you were to stop Zoro would lose his sense of direction. You could sense his worry, however tried to remain calm, knowing the ship was gaining closer and soon you would be able to return to your usual size.

The familiar large black flag danced overhead, drawing you both in like a song. The sturdy lion-like figurehead a clear motive of who you were and what you aspired for with your friends. Everything was perfect and grand, just the way you remember it to be.

You were finally back.

You had arrived at The Thousand Sunny.

"Oi!" Zoro called, racing faster to the side of the ship, straining his voice up to whoever was on board. It was silent for mere moments, sinking his relief, unsure if there truely was anybody on board after all.

A shrill squeak of Chopper's voice muffled above him, stopping Zoro, unsure whether he was imagining the doctors words. As your head moved towards the sound, Zoro realised the additional presence, calling out once more to guide him.

A bold figure of Nami stood beside Chopper, screaming at Zoro for becoming lost; stating he only had one job. However, Zoro ignored her words, proudly hoisting you against his side, wrapped against his bicep. Jumping up he scaled the side of the ship, letting his impressive muscles guide his way with one hand.

"I did it!" Chopper beamed, waving his arms around to gain his attention. There was an undoubtably proud smile etched across his face, amazed at his own talent to brew such a mixture, following the book to precise instructions. Zoro returned the smile, the confidence in his voice encouraging you both to move faster.

"I didn’t think it could be done; finding an antidote for a devil fruit curse but here it is! I did it, Zoro!"

Landing firm on the deck, Zoro let you go, wriggling free out of his arms, watching as you met Chopper with an excited squeal. Your feet threatened to cave under you, speeding towards the young doctor with a rush of adrenalin, bursting to return back to how you were before. "Y/n, you'll be back to your normal size in no time at all"

Snatching the tall vial from his grip, you quickly sloshed down the thin blue liquid, underlying with a refreshing minty taste. You trusted your friend without a doubt, giving no rise into his outstanding care in the past; all the more reason to take the antidote.

Feeling the liquid run down your throat caused a slight burn, spreading through your body. In a moment of shock you dropped the vial, stepping away as your body creaked under your skin, building an uncomfortable climax.

Chopper called out to you, stepping forward as you finally collapsed, crying out as one-by-one your bones stretched out, familiarising back to your normal body. The sensation was more shocking than painful, unable to distinguish where in the body would be next; and how much longer it would last. Caught up in the motions you shut your eyes tight, wishing for the burn to fade soon. You were unable to distinguish Chopper's voice anymore - nor Zoro or Nami - spiralling into a web of darkness.

After one final brutal snap, your body eased, like a flicker of light shocking your body. A relived sigh delighting your voice, no longer high pitched or whining, deeper than you remembered it to be. You were panting heavily, the rush exhausting your body as you struggled to get up; feeling the presence of your friends still around you, much closer than before. A slight flutter opened your eyes up to the addition of more than just Zoro and Nami; your scream alerting the rest of the crew of your whereabouts. However, drawn towards him in the usual divine way, Zoro caught your attention.

Your eyes met up at Zoro as he squatted down in front of you, his hand coming up to your cheek. His touch was careful and warm, brushing your jaw with a slight squeeze of satisfaction seeing you the way he loved; just as you were. Behind his eye he was exhausted, a hard day defending you clearly taking the toll on his emotions, unsure how the day would plan out. But for now he was relieved to see you, feel you rest in the palm of his hand, knowing that he did all he could to protect you; and nobody would ever be able to come between you both.

"Welcome back, beautiful"

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