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lunaastoir · 3 years

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fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

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xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does)

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,)

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself

miss girl is an AMAZING cook

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on

this man,,, THIS MAN

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him?

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!!

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3

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itsstrawberrymochi · 3 years

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Hi there! I was wondering if I could request some headcannons of what it would be like to be in a relationship with sanemi, rengoku, and gyomei, separately of course ❤️ thank you I’m advance

Kny characters dating headcanons

YES YES I’ve always wanted to make one of these ^^ to make things better you added some of my favorite boys ~Kyō and Nemi ~ uhhh no offense Gyomei

Also thx for the request @ethereal-tooreal

Rengoku

🔥-He’s a sweet, loving and passionate lover

🔥- He is also a very supportive boyfriend

🔥- If you start something new he’s right behind you every step of the way and he’ll always try to find ways to help you become even better

🔥- Rengoku loves to buy you nice smelling perfumes/colognes,oils or lotions and whenever he hugs you he likes to try and guess what scent you’re wearing

🔥- “ mmmm are you wearing lavender today my love?”

🔥- “Wow Kyō, you’re getting better at guessing”

🔥- Rengoku loves to bring you cute little stuff animals when he comes back from a mission, he especially gets them if they remind him of you

🔥-“Darling look at this stuffed chicken I got you, it reminded me so much of you!”

🔥- “Umm Kyō you think I look like a chicken?”

🔥-“A very cute chicken!”

🔥- Oh so your name is y/n? Yea not anymore when dating Rengoku

🔥- He calls you every single cute name an s/o would call their lover expect your actual name

🔥- So expect him to call you darling, my love or his person favorite my little flame

🔥- If he calls you by your real name be a little bit worried

🔥- Speaking on names, before you two even started dating he always called you y/n-chan because he always admired you and found you cute 🥺

🔥- You’re going to hear me say this more than once but Rengoku is a slut for forehead kisses, because you’re shorter than him and he thinks it’s very convenient

🔥-Rengoku is almost 6’0/ 177 cm so there’s a slim chance you’re taller than him BUT if you are taller than him or the same height he’ll tip-toe to give you the forehead kiss and he never gets embarrassed to do so

🔥-He loves it when you play with his hair, and he doesn’t mind how many colorful or childish clips you put in it

🔥- He loves to take you to festivals for dates and when you two go he buys you literally anything you look at

🔥- He also loves to go restaurant hoping with you, you both decided to try every ramen shop in Japan and to determine which sells the best one

🔥- If you’re a Hasira like him, he’ll always save you a seat near him for pillar meetings

🔥- He loves going on missions with you that way he can spend more time with you and he can protect, but he doesn’t always go and he never makes a fuss about it. Kyō strongly believes in your strength and he knows you can protect yourself

🔥- If you’re not a slayer, and he’s off on missions you and would usually spend your time playing, cooking or baking with Senjurō and sometimes Mitsuri. When he comes back home he just leans on the door way looking and you two and fawning over how adorable the sight is

BONUS

🔥- Since you spend a lot of time at the Rengoku estate his father always has something negative to say about your presence but Rengoku being the amazing lover he is, always defends you and is not afraid to say something back to his father

Sanemi

☁️- He is the definition of a tsundere

☁️- Ok I know we’re all tired of hearing it but it’s TRUE

☁️- He’s so sweet and gentle with you and a literal demon to other people

☁️- He never yells or gets mad at you unlike with others

☁️- And if he does he regrets it after words and immediately apologizes

☁️- Behind close doors Sanemi is extremely clingy and he always wants to be wrapped up around you

☁️- but in public he isn’t like that because he hates PDA, so that means no kissing, hugging or anything of that sorts

☁️- Even though he doesn’t want physical affection in public he’ll still treat you way better than anyone else and is still calm and gentle with you when others are around

☁️- and because it’s Sanemi no one dares call him out on his major shift of behavior towards you

☁️- Sanemi is definitely the listener in the relationship, he much rather you talk about your day than his

☁️- but maybe he’ll rant about how stupid he thinks his Tsugukos and the other pillars are from time to time

☁️- If you’re a demon hunter he’s going on every mission with you, it doesn’t matter if you’re an extremely strong hunter or the weakest he’s still going with you because he wants to protect you

☁️- If you’re not a slayer he’d ask you to move into his estate with him, he doesn’t really care if it’s still the early parts of your relationship he’ll still ask, he asks because you’ll be close to him most of the time and with that he can easily protect you if a demon attacks plus he likes your company but he didn’t tell you that last part

☁️- He also got you a cute little puppy to keep your company while he’s away on mission because he doesn’t want you to be lonely but instead of telling you that he used the excuse it’s to “ protect” the estate from intruders

☁️- Like any normal couple you both have fights and it’s usually about him being overprotective with you, him getting jealous or when he doesn’t listen to you when you tell him to be more careful because he can be very reckless

☁️- To summarize your fights, it’s usually person A is trying to help person B, but person B is too stubborn to realize that

☁️- Sanemi loves to give you hugs from the back, that way you can’t see the smile on his face

☁️- He is the type of s/o who does everything for you but will never admit it

☁️- For example he’ll be the one to buy all the groceries or clean different rooms in the house and when you ask about it he always says you did it and you probably forgot you did

☁️- You and Genya are definitely close, he treats you like an older sibling, Sanemi acts like he hates it but deep down he’s just so happy that the two most important people in his life can get along

☁️- Speaking on Genya he actually had a small crush on you the first time he met you, but it wasn’t serious, he respects his brother and would never make a move on you , the crush was more of an innocent childhood crush

☁️- mmmm how to put this in simpler words........Sanemi is well a bit motherly towards you

☁️- but it doesn’t come off so because he’s so aggressive with it, he always makes you eat all your vegetables or something a strict mother would want their child to do for their well-being

☁️- His motherly nature always comes off as a threat

☁️-“Ok dumbass if you don’t eat all of your greens that’ll be the only thing you can eat for the week”

☁️- “Y/n if you’ve been up for too long go to bed now or I’ll beat you tf up”

☁️-but don’t worry they’re all empty threats..... I think

☁️- Sanemi does anything you ask him to do, so if you want to go to the festival he’ll go but he will mutter out a few complaints on the way

Gyomei

🪨- He’s such a gentle giant

🪨- Because of his large size, at the start of your relationship he was always too scared to hug or kiss you in fear that he may hurt you

🪨- So before any hug or kiss from him he would ask if he can do it, you told him he didn’t have to but it took him while fall out of his habit

🪨- He is very gentle with you but unlike Sanemi he doesn’t mind showing his gentleness with you around others

🪨- He loves hand holding, he really enjoys feeling you warmth against his own

🪨- Plus he has big and soft hands, so hand holding is always a delight

🪨- He strongly believes that a relationship is built on communication and trust

🪨- He is not the type to shy away from his feelings and always tells you how he really feels

🪨- During your relationship you’ll never have to worry about him being dishonest or feel like you two are pulling away from each-other

🪨- Even though he’s been blind for a while and can take care of hisself just fine, he doesn’t get mad if you help him out here or there

🪨- because he is blind he has bit of trouble recognizing who’s walking up to him but he always knows when you wak to him because he memorized the sound of you footsteps

🪨- If you are a slayer he loves helping you train and he’s constantly telling you ways you can improve your breathing style

🪨-Also he’ll rarely go on mission with you, it’s only because he doesn’t want you to depend on him too much and he wants you to become strong on your own, if he ever dies he’ll be glad to know you’re going to be just fine without him

🪨- While you are on your mission he’ll pray for you and your safe return

🪨- If you aren’t a hunter he would train you and teach you his breathing style in his dojo, and it’s not to make you be apart of the demon corps but rather to mane you have a good chance of survival if a demon ever attacks, but if you do want to become a demon hunter he would be against it at first but eventually let you join

🪨- I know this is a dating headcanon butttt once your relationship with him is more mature he’ll definitely ask you to marry him. He’s more of the traditional type so he definitely thought of marriage more than once in your relationship and was very excited to pop the question

#anime #demon slayer #kny headcanons #kny rengoku #kny x reader #sanemi x reader #kny fluff #kny requests #gyomei x reader #rengoku x reader

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wiypt-writes · 3 years

Text

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch 10: You’re My Mission

Summary: The Asgardian Staff case is wrapped up but before Katie and Steve can be re-united, the Super Soldier has a mission of his own to complete. Their reunion doesn’t disappoint, and as she weighs up the events of the past few months, Katie reaches a conclusion about her future with SHIELD

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Smut (NSFW) over 18s only thanks. Bit of bad language….

A/N: Another lovely edit from @angrybirdcr of Katie in action.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 9

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Tarim. Yemen. The hottest place Steve had ever been. Ever. And a place he had no desire to go back to. Ever.

As far as he was concerned, this whole mission had been a cluster fuck of epic proportions. The Mercs they had been sent in to deal with were slightly more ruthless than they had anticipated, taking a group of school kids from the square hostage. Evans and Rollins (in Katie’s absence) managed to contain most of them, taking them down with non-fatal injuries, as was the agreement with the Government, but one of them wasn’t going quietly and had snatched up a kid as he made a break for it.

The Yemeni Special Forces were on their way, and Steve knew that if they arrived permission to execute a kill shot would be given. But even that was dangerous, as the guy had the kid held in such a position, his back to a wall, her held across his chest, that the angle would have been impossible. Steve ordered the team to lower their weapons, and stepped forward, hoping to talk the man down. And then Rumlow had taken a shot, off-loading a bullet straight between the Merc’s eyes.

And Steve was mad, mad as a wasp.

“I gave you a direct order…” He stood, hands on his belt in the jet as he looked at Rumlow, the nerve in his jaw twitching.

“I made a call.” Rumlow shrugged “If I hadn’t they would have gotten away…”

“You put those civilians lives in danger.”

“That’s a little dramatic…”

“Yeah, come on Cap.” Rollins spoke.“The kid was fine, we got the weapons Government were ok…no harm done.”

Steve rounded on him, his blasé tone set his teeth on edge.

“That isn’t the point.” he blazed “I wouldn’t have asked Barton to take a shot like that. I wasn’t, and never will be, willing to risk anyone’s life like that, not to mention that of a child, for collateral damage, just to get what we need. It makes us no better than the people we’re trying to stop.”

“It worked didn’t it?” Rumlow shrugged

“Sheer luck.” Steve retorted.

“Well sometimes you just get lucky.” The STRIKE leader shrugged.

Steve sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn’t need this shit.

“Look Cap, with all due respect, I’ve been running this team for years. You don’t get to do our job without taking a bit of risk.” Rumlow looked at him. “Now I’m sorry if you feel I was challenging your authority…”

“It has nothing to do with my authority.” Steve blazed at him.

“Really? Because that’s what it looks like from my position.” Rumlow shook his head “I’m sorry you feel this way. But it isn’t as simple as that. Life isn’t split into good guys and bad guys, it ain’t black and white… more shades of grey.”

Steve didn’t reply, he simply stared at Rumlow, his eyes raging before he moved away to a seat for take-off next to Natasha.

“Let it go Rogers.” She drawled softly to him. “You’ve chewed him out…you want my advice, leave it there.”

Steve didn’t reply. He was pissed and didn’t trust himself to say anything. He hadn’t heard from Katie so far today, but he wasn’t expecting to as he’d fired her a message last night, or this morning (he had no idea what time-zone he was in anymore) to tell her he was off on an urgent mission.

It was pathetic, he knew, but being away from her was really setting him on edge. Not just because he found jerking off in the shower was far less satisfactory now than before he’d actually started sleeping with her, but more so he was missing the stupid things, like her draping her legs over his on the couch whilst she was reading, her singing when she was cooking, the way she laughed till she cried at Brooklyn Nine-Nine, even demanding he make her a grilled cheese at 02:50 am…

Steve watched with amusement as the girls walked out of the bar, a little shaky, Katie leaning on Natasha laughing at something. He’d dropped them both off earlier in the evening and said he would pick her up later, even though they said they would get a cab. He had insisted, he loved looking after her and that was what boyfriends did right? Picked their dames up. However, as they teetered over to Katie’s car, it looked like he was about to inherit a pair of drunken, giggling idiots to look after, and the thought made him smile with fondness.

“Hi baby!” Katie greeted him as she climbed into the seat. She leaned over to give him a peck on the cheek and he smiled.

“You had fun? You look like you have.”

“Fun is my middle name Rogers.” Nat winked and Katie sniggered in the seat next to him as he pulled the car off from the curb.

“Nat’s gonna stay at mine.” Katie turned to look at him, her cheeks tinged pink with the alcohol “Afterparty!”

“Don’t you think you’ve both had enough?” He teased and. Katie put her fingers to her lips and told him to shush whilst Nat leaned forward.

“Just because you can’t get drunk.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Whatever, your funeral Romanoff.” He smirked, eyes on the road.

“God he’s so sensible, how do you cope?” Nat looked at Katie. Through the corner of his eye he saw a wicked smile cross his girls face.

“He has hidden talents” She quipped, before the two women descended into fits of giggles.

Steve let out an exasperated noise through his nose, but secretly he didn’t mind. He loved that she’d had a good time, even if he had the sneaking suspicion he’d been the butt of a few jokes, probably even a few risqué girl chats too.

“Hey, yoooo wanted to come get us..” Katie picked up on the noise he had made and looked at him. “Can’t stand the heat stay the fuck out the…” she paused “erm…”

“Kitchen?” Steve supplied, looking at her, left hand on the wheel, amused grin on his face

“Yeah, that.” She pointed.

“Kitchen is very much your domain sweetheart”

“Not what I heard” Nat chipped in. “She says you make a mean grilled cheese….”

“Oh my god.” Katie said suddenly “can you make us one?”

“What, now?” he frowned.

“Well obviously not right now as this is a carrrr” She rolled her eyes, gesturing around her “But when we get home. I’m hungry.”

He looked at her “Doll, it’s almost three in the morning.”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeese Stevie.” She pouted, batting her eyelashes at him in a ridiculously over the top manner, which he couldn’t do anything but laugh at.

“Alright I’ll make you both a grilled cheese” He nodded, unable to stop the smile creeping across his face, even when he heard Natasha burp the word “bitchwhipped” from the back seat.

Emerging from his memories, Steve lay his head back against his seat, shooting a glance over at Rumlow. The man was still being deliberately obtuse about the fact he was going out with Katie and he knew full well that the disobeying of order was a direct ‘fuck you’ aimed at him. But, as he thought about it whilst they flew home, he knew Natasha was right. The more he kept going on about it, the more likely it was to cause a bigger rift. With that in mind, during the debrief with Fury, Steve remained calm and when the time came he nodded at the STRIKE leader, giving him the floor when needed, both sticking to the facts- the operation had worked (Steve didn’t go as far as to use the word success), they had managed to seize the weapons and capture the main cartel leader who was now in custody of the Yemeni Services.

“What I wanna know is why are there so many of these weapons turning up?” Evans asked. “The DODC ran an extensive clean-up operation.”

“They were littered all over the New York, spreading the entire Manhatten area.” Steve said, answering as he looked at the Texan. “The DODC did as much as it could as fast as it could but people were already out there taking bits for themselves before the Chitauri had even been stopped. Katie says they’re still tracking through any leads, sifting out those who took them for souvenirs and those who took them for less scrupulous reasons…it could take years.”

“It was always going to happen.” Natasha shrugged “Terrorists are always looking for the next big thing.”

“Which is why we will always be looking for them.” Fury drew the meeting to an end as he stood up. “Alright, written reports to me no later than forty-eight hours. Other than that, you can head home.”

“Sir” Steve nodded as everyone started to file out. Steve noticed Natasha was hanging back.

“You ok?” She asked.

“Tired, fed up…” he sighed.

“Missing your girl?”

“A little” He admitted, before deciding to ask Nat what was on his mind because he could trust her honesty “Am I being old fashioned here, you know, with not wanting people to die?”

“No.” Natasha shook her head after a pause and he could tell she was picking her words carefully “I just think sometimes…well, we have to accept that we have to take risks.”

“You think Rumlow was right?” He sighed.

“Not as such.” she shrugged, “But I understand why he did it. I don’t necessarily agree with his methods shall we say but…”

Steve ran his hands over his face and couldn’t help thinking to himself how much simpler it had been in the war. They shot at them, they shot back. He let out a deep breath.

“You still taking some time off?“ She looked at him.

Steve shrugged and then looked at his fit bit for a second, thinking to himself the stats would make interesting reading. It was 5 in the morning. He hadn’t slept now for almost twenty-two hours bar the quick nap he had gotten on the jet. At that point his phone sounded with a message from Katie. A photo taken of Galway Bay in Ireland. Smiling at the simple message “Wish you were here.” he looked back at Natasha and nodded.

“Yeah. I think I am.”

****

“Are you sure he’s okay to go out into the field?” Katie asked Coulson, one eye on Ward’s back. The man had just slammed a case shut, making everyone jump in the hanger and he was growing increasingly broody. Despite herself, she was feeling a pang of sympathy for him. She knew how hard it had been for him to open up about his past, and holding part of the staff had really shaken him. “He’s not exactly acting like himself.” she concluded.

“But he knows it. He’ll be fine.” Coulson replied as they walked to the SUVs. It was a short ride to the Monastary which was located just outside of Galway and Katie spent the time watching the scenery. She loved Ireland, she’d been a few times when at University in the UK. Her mind wandered to her soldier, who himself had Irish roots, his mother and father hailing from Limerick. Smiling, she pulled out her phone. She knew it would be late back in the US, it was barely touching ten am where the where and the time difference would make it the middle of the night. That is if he was back from the mission yet. Still, she took a photo of the coast road they were on skirting the edge of Galway Bay which in the November sun looked stunning, the light bouncing off the calm blue sea reminding her of those deep ocean pools she loved to look into. She sent it to Steve with a simple message ‘wish you were here’ and then shoved it back into her jacket pocket.

The monastery itself was a beautiful gothic building set into the side of a green hill. They all climbed out and checked their weapons, Coulson once more going over the plan of action before they headed to the large front door.

“Well, it’s been a while.” Elliot said quietly as they walked into the building, Katie taking a moment to appreciate the architecture, another thing Steve would love. “I wonder – ah, yes. There it is. Still here”.

He walked to the front of the room where a book lay set up on a stand.

“Well, the nose isn’t quite right, but…”

Katie and Coulson walked up behind him, followed by the rest of the group to see that he was looking at a drawing of a man wearing long robes and holding the staff.

“That’s you?” Katie asked, looking at him.

“Yeah, they venerated me a bit as a saint.”

“They’re idiots” Ward spat viciously. They all spun round to look at him, where he was stood a few feet behind them all. “Where’s the staff?”

“It’s upstairs.”

Elliot led the way, the team following up a set of spiralled staircase. Katie and Coulson were directly behind him, taking the lead with May and Ward shortly behind them as deputies.

“It’s quiet.” May said softly

“ Why do you think I trusted them with my secret?” Elliot shrugged, still walking on ahead. He Elliot stopped in front of some sort of cabinet and ran his hand down the side before he reached for the handle. “They take a vow of silence.”

“But when you get them talking, they squeal.” A low male voice said, it’s owner appearing from behind one of the walls to the left of the cabinet, holding two pieces of the staff, one in each hand. It was the man whose mugshot Katie had seen on the tablet earlier that day, Jakob. Suddenly he held one piece up high and stabbed Elliot in the chest with it, he fell to the floor.

He turned and advanced on the rest of them, and Katie reached for her gun, readying herself. To her left she felt someone bend down to Elliot, presumably to try and treat him.

“No one else wants to get hurt.” Coulson spoke to Jakob, his gun raised. Jakob cocked his head to one side, looking at it before he stared back at Coulson.

“If you want to defeat a God, you must become one”

Suddenly there was a loud yell and a scream. Katie spun round to see Ward had bent to Elliot, only it wasn’t to treat him, it was to retrieve the piece of the staff stuck in the Asgardian man’s chest. He held it in his hand and then suddenly threw himself at Jakob, knocking Katie and May out of the way as he went. The two men fell over the banister railing to the floor below.

Katie scrambled to her feet and looked down to see Jakob recovering from the fall first. She aimed with her gun but couldn’t get a clear shot in, as he picked Ward up like he weighed nothing and slammed him back down to the ground.

“We need to help him!” Skye said, looking at Ward before she ran off.

“Skye!” Coulson called, he was now bent over Elliot and speaking furiously into his coms for Jemma Simmons to come help. “She can’t fight, she’s not trained…”

May nodded, “We’ll get her. Stark, with me.”

Katie nodded and ran after May, the pair of them practically jumping down the stair. Ward was now on his feet and as Jakob lunged at him, he flung himself to the right out of the way.

“Skye.” May instructed as they caught up with the dark hared girl who was watching Ward now ducking and diving the swipes from Jakob “Stay outta this…”

Both Katie and May stepped forward, but as they did so, Ward paused what he was doing and bent to grasp the part of the staff that was on the floor next to him. His face contorted in rage and when Jakob came at him again, Ward punched him hard in the face, enough to cause him to fly back against the wall where he slumped to the ground before Ward rammed him straight in the chest with the staff in a fit of rage like nothing anyone could comprehend. Ward’s chest was heaving and he spun round to see the other three agents watching him cautiously. His eyes were blazing with a fire Katie had never seen before.

“Ward.” May approached, tentatively stopping when Ward held his hand up.

“Get away from me.” His face was contorted in rage.

“Grant.” Katie tried gently, stepping forward so she was level with May. “They’re right, that thing, this isn’t you.”

Something clearly registered in his brain and his face softened slightly but then suddenly the door was kicked open and they whirled round to see the rest of Jakob’s group enter the monastery. The three agents regrouped and Katie took her fighting stance, weighing up their opponents. It had been a while since she had been in a full force hand to hand combat, but she was pleased to find that her training with Natasha and Steve had kept her prepared. She dodged, ducked, punched, kicked, flipped up and over people, taking them down with her using her legs as the room filled with rowdy men and women, all yelling. May was working through them almost 2 at a time and Ward, now holding two of the staff pieces from somewhere, was easily fighting off a group of them, the power he was gaining from the staff clearly visible.

Katie grabbed one man in a choke hold just as he was trying to get up, and as he stopped struggling she threw him to the ground, and looked round at the now quiet room. May nodded at her, taking a deep breath and Katie turned to see Ward who was shaking drop both pieces of the staff he was holding and collapse to his knees. Skye hurried over and knelt in front of him.

“Are you alright?” May looked round Katie. She nodded looking giving her a small grin, reaching up to tenderly brush at her cheekbone. One of them had landed a good shot.

“Been a long time since I had a full on fight like that, not using my guns.” she said, and May’s mouth curled up at one side before she made her way over to help Skye get Ward to his feet. Just as Katie was about to join them, the door opened again. She spun round to see another face she recognised from the photos, Jakob’s girlfriend, Petra stood there, the third piece of Staff in her hand.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me” Skye said from behind Katie.

Katie looked around glanced at May who also turned her attention to Petra as she was now circling the room. Which a quick flick of her gun, Katie aimed a shot at her, but she simply whipped the piece of staff out in front of her and it tinged the bullet off to one side.

“We’re no match for her whilst she has that” May said and instinctively Katie glanced down at the two pieces of staff on the floor near them. Grant wearily sighed and went to pick it up but Katie dropped down on one knee and grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“You’re not in any state to do that.” she said not unkindly as she looked at him, “Let me help.”

“Kay…” he started to argue, the use of his nickname for her registered but now wasn’t the time to chastise him, nor did she really find she cared enough to do so. It was then that May cut in.

“She’s right. We can’t beat them unless we’re on a level playing field.” She shot him a look and he nodded.

“Okay.”

Skye helped Ward away as May and Katie watched Petra as two men from the group they had taken down earlier got to their feet. Petra looked round the room and let out an audible gasp as she saw Jakob’s body for the first time. Katie slowly and apprehensively reached out for a piece of the staff, hesitating for a moment as she had no idea what was going to happen when she did pick it up. May looked at her nodding and then the pair of them reached out, each gripping a piece. Katie gasped as a warm sensation flooded up through her arm and then her head was like it was somewhere else. Which it was, she was back in what, according to Professor Randall, should be the worst moment of her life, only it wasn’t the moment she had initially thought of when he’d told them that…

Rhodey was on the doorstep of her Chelsea apartment at three am local time. She knew instantly that something was wrong. Without a word he entered, and told her that Tony’s ARV had been attacked and they had no idea where he was. She almost collapsed and he helped her over to the sofa where she sat still, tears falling as she listened. The room fell silent, and with a shaking hand she reached for the remote and turned the TV on to the News Channel, to see her Brother’s face plastered all over the screen.

“I’m sorry Kiddo…” Rhodey’s voice was choked and she turned to look at him “I should have been with him but he insisted on riding in the other ARV, the FunVee…” he shook his head, snorting angrily.

“Who’s taken him?” She asked, swallowing.

“We’re think it was an Ambush by the Ten Rings.” Rhodey swallowed. “We’ve not had a ransom note yet but we expect it’s a matter of time. We’ll find him.”

“It’s finding him alive that’s the issue, Rhodey” She wiped away the tears from her face, the sick feeling in her stomach threatening to overwhelm her and it felt like someone had a band over her chest that they were constricting, hard…and then it was to much, and she bolted to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet…

Gasping Katie took a deep breath and looked up sharply as one of the men flew at her. Letting out a yell of rage, pent up anger and hurt she launched forward as Petra did the same. Their pieces of staff blew against one another and soon they were battling, fiercely. Katie was fighting to kill, and she instantly understand what had made Ward run Jakob through with the staff.

It felt good.

She could hear and see in the corner of her eye that May was also tackling a few more members of the group, easily keeping them at bay but Katie was focussed on one thing, the woman in front of her. She was good, matching Katie blow for blow but eventually Katie’s tenacity and training started to win out and she began to get the edge. She swung forward with a huge swipe and knocked Petra to the ground causing the woman to drop her part of the staff. Automatically it joined with the piece Katie was holding in her right hand, glowing orange again.

“It’s been a month, Katie…” Obediah said “A month…I hate to say this but the chances of him coming back…”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Obi!” Katie wheeled round “Tony is alive, and until someone shows me any kind of evidence to the contrary…then things stay as they are, I don’t give a shit what the board say.”

She watched him out of the room before she dropped her head to the desk and began to cry. She didn’t stop, even when Pepper walked into the room and dropped an arm round her shoulder, the pair of them lost…

A crash caught Katie’s attention and she saw May had dispatched the remaining fighters. She glanced up, and saw what Katie was doing and instinctively threw her piece of staff over to her. Katie grabbed it, joining it with the other combined pieces completing the staff.

Katie gave a yell as once more that warm feeling spread up her arm to her chest and her memories swallowed her.

“Your government has for far too long sold weapons, manufactured by Mr Tony Stark, to our oppressors, to our enemies. This is blood in exchange for blood, death in exchange for death, meet our demands or within 48 hours the great Tony Stark is no more…”

The room came back into a bleary focus, just as Petra staggered to her feet, swaying slightly.

“I am not afraid of you.” She spoke, her accent thick.

“You should be…” Katie snarled, as she advanced towards her. Quick as a flash she let out a loud cry and struck Petra with the staff, hard in the face. She fell backwards to the floor, deadly still.

And then a different voice spoke in Katie’s mind a clear voice. Her own voice.

“He escaped, though. And he was fine, well as fine as Tony ever is. So there’s really no need to fear this memory because that’s all it is, a memory. It all worked out in the end…”

Katie dropped the staff and fell to her knees, her entire body shaking with the exertion of wielding the Asgardian weapon. Her head was pounding with those memories, the voices, everything. Her hands flew into her hair as she bent over, trying to focus on anything but her thoughts.

“Hey…” Two hands were on either side of her face, and Katie looked up into May’s eyes. “Focus on me, Stark.” Katie took a deep breath as May’s hands slid gently down to the side of her shoulders. “Can you stand?” She asked. Katie nodded and then looked over at Petra.

“Is she…” She managed to croak out. Had she killed someone? In blind rage?

“Don’t worry about her” May shook her head, “I’ll take care of it.”

Katie got to her feet with May’s help, glancing over at Ward and Skye. Ward gave her a small nod of his head, which she acknowledged with a small incline of her own as May helped her out of the smaller Vestibule room they’d been fighting in and through to the entrance hall of the Monastery, the sun streaming through the stained glass windows.

“That thing…” Katie took a deep breath “Ward wasn’t wrong…it…”

“Tell me about it.” May’s voice was quiet, and Katie realised the normally stoic woman was shaking, although not quite as violently as her. The two of them settled on a large slab of stone. They were shortly joined by Ward as he sat besides them, the three of them didn’t talk for a while, merely lost in their own thoughts, Katie wanting nothing more than to get home to see Steve.

“When you held it…” Ward said eventually, breaking the silence. “Did you see anything?”

May nodded, and so did Katie.

“Then how, Kay? How did you hold all three?” Ward looked at her

She paused, thinking about it for a moment.

No need to fear this memory

“Because it’s a memory that I don’t need to be afraid of.” she shrugged eventually. “And I see the reason why every time I look at Tony.”

*****

Steve packed a bag. There was, sadly, one last mission standing between him and his girl. And he no idea how long this particular mission was going to take. It was completely rogue, way off SHIELD’s official radar anyway, only Fury and Natasha knew what he was doing.

Oh, and Tony. He’d enlisted the Billionaire’s help because had a somewhat personal interest in this case. So much so he’d leant him the Stark Jet, because he couldn’t use the Quinjet, and the fact that like everything Tony owned, his jet was faster and better than anything else, it had shaved a good 2 hours off what the journey would have taken had he flown full commercial, not to mention saved him a load of messing about in the meantime with bookings and check ins.

The jet was comfortable, he had flown on it a few times with Katie before back to NYC when they didn’t drive that was. As soon as he was airborne he face timed Katie using the connection on the plane and had hissed at the bruise on her cheek. She had batted off his concern and instead went on a rant about how cheap Fury was. He had to laugh at her indignant tone, apparently they had arrived at a Premier Inn a few hours ago and she had refused point blank to get out of the SUV and after a battle of wills with Coulson had upgraded the entire team to the Sheraton just outside of Galway within ten minutes. Apparently overnighters weren’t standard for the team she was working in as they had the Bus but Coulson had decided they all needed some down time after what sounded like a gruelling mission.

“And what better way to do that in a 5 star hotel with a spa, right?”

They talked for the longest time they had in the three, almost four days she had been gone and Steve loved it. She didn’t go into much detail about the mission itself, bar to say it had ended in a pretty ruthless fight and that she was mentally and physically exhausted, promising to tell him all about it when she saw him. He told her in no uncertain terms that they were both going to take some time out, Fury had cleared it and her face had lit up, but then fallen when he sadly told her he had one last mission to sort. After assuring her it wouldn’t take long, and it really wouldn’t, she had smiled and told him she couldn’t wait to see him.

“Me either Doll, me either.”

He took the opportunity to get some sleep, and was awoken by one of the stewardesses a few hours later who informed him they were an hour out. Thanking her he headed off to change out of his comfy sweats and into his specially selected outfit, one that would make him blend in a lot more than the stealth suit. Once he had arrived, cleared customs at the private airfield they had landed at, he climbed straight into the arranged official looking blacked out SUV and the driver set off, not a word spoken. The driver already knew their destination, Fury had already patched that information through before he had taken off.

It was easy to blag his way in to the building he needed to be in. Dressed in a black suit, all he had to do was quickly flash his SHIELD ID badge and the woman at the desk was only too happy to provide him the information about where he could find his target, and access to the required area. He didn’t take the elevator, it was too easy to be spotted. Instead he snuck round and found the service stairs and bolted up them two at a time to the seventh floor, his kit bag containing his shield slung over his shoulder.

****

After they had checked in to the decent hotel, not that Premier Inn (which she was sure was clean and perfectly comfortable, but she wanted fucking luxury after three nights of being in that pokey room) and she’d spoken to Steve for at least an hour, Katie showered, changed and headed off out to explore the area with Skye. The two had chatted, Katie really did like the girl, and they’d done a bit of shopping, had a late lunch, before they had headed back to the hotel and made use of the Spa. Then, she’d sat and eaten with the team, before bidding them all goodnight and retiring to her room with a bottle of Krug (because, why not?) and a long assed hot bath.

She tried to face time Steve again, but this time he didn’t answer. Probably elbow deep in whatever mission he was on this time, he’d been very vague about this one, saying it was hush hush but he would explain all in person, including what had gone down in Yemen which sounded like an utter shit-storm.

Changing for bed, Katie dropped onto the comfortable couch of the suite (ok, so she’d upgraded herself a teensy bit more than everyone else), poured herself another glass of Krug, slightly disgruntled to see the bottle was empty. So she rang down for another, fuck it.

Just as she had put the phone down, her cell called.

“Hey baby.” Steve spoke and Katie could hear the smile in his voice. “Sorry, the phone won’t let me face time for some reason.”

“Well that’s a shame because I’m naked.”

Steve groaned and Katie felt herself grin. “Don’t do that to me.”

“Sorry.” She giggled “I’m not really, just wish you were here.”

“I know.” He sighed “Me too”

“I’m taking it that seeing as you can talk your super-secret spy shit mission is done.”

“It was surprisingly easy” He mused, “Target didn’t suspect a thing and thanks to a very helpful lady I met, I got in with no fuss.”

“Helpful lady?” Katie narrowed her eyes. “How helpful?”

Steve let out a chuckle “All I had to do was flash my ID and smile”

“Coz you’re a regular charmer, aint you?” Katie laughed, and then there was a knock on the door. “Oh hang on… room service.”

She got up off the couch, made her way to the door, phone still in her hand and she pulled it open.

“Hey Doll.” Steve grinned at her and her mouth dropped open, the phone slipping out of her hand to the floor. “Surprise.”

She was a sight for sore eyes. Silk cami top and shorts, her hair falling in damp waves around her face. God he’d missed her.

“What…you…” She stammered, taking him in, the black fitted suit and tie he was wearing looked far better than it would have on anyone else and he laughed at the look of utter shock on her face “The mission, I thought…”

“You’re my mission, Sweetheart” He grinned, stepping into the room, dropping his kit bag, picking his phone up as he did so. And, no sooner had he straightened up, Katie gave a little shriek and threw herself into his arms.

“I can’t believe it.” She whispered, her hands straying to his face “You are here right? This isn’t just some weird trick my mind is playing?”

“I’m here, promise.” He placed a soft kiss to her lips. There was a clearing of a throat and Katie peeked over Steve’s shoulder to see a rather embarrassed looking hotel worker clutching the bottle of Krug she had ordered along with a fresh glass and an ice bucket. She tapped Steve’s arms and he reluctantly set her down so she could sign the receipt with a flourish. Steve smiled at the man, taking the ice bucket before closing the door. He followed Katie into the large hotel suite, and dropped the ice bucket and her phone onto the coffee table before sinking onto the couch and Katie climbed onto his lap, winding his tie around her hand.

“For the record,” she murmured as she looked him up and down, “this is a good look.”

“Glad you approve, Darlin’” He grinned as she tugged on his tie, pulling him closer to her, and she pressed her lips to his in a deep kiss.

He responded eagerly, hands creeping into her hair to hold her head in place as his tongue slid against hers, his hips rocking up before his lips dropped to her collarbone

“I missed you.” He purred as she let out a small groan, her hand sliding into his hair.

“I missed you too” She muttered, his hands gently fell to her hips, giving them a squeeze. “Take me to bed.”

Steve didn’t need asking twice. Standing easily, drawing a giggle from her as she wrapped her legs around his waist, he paused and looked around.

“Trust you to get a suite that’s bigger then my apartment.”

“I have very high standards.” She shot back. “Door to the right.”

He gave a quick laugh and strode over to the door, pulling it open and stepping into the plush bedroom which was softly illuminated by the bedside lamp. Dropping her onto the huge bed he crawled over her as she once more grabbed his tie and pulled him down.

“You really do like this huh?” He arched his eyebrow, ooking down at her as she gently slipped his jacket down his shoulders and he shrugged it off, tossing it to the floor.

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for a suit. Although I still think the Stealth one is better.”

“Maybe I should bring that home one night.” He muttered as his lips slid against her neck and she groaned.

“Please do. Your ass looks great in it.” She moved, pushing on his shoulders. Steve sat back on his heels and she locked her eyes on his, undoing his tie gently, a move she managed to make incredibly arousing and Steve let out a groan and he kissed her.

“Fuck, I missed you.” He whispered into her mouth

“Save it, you’re wearing too many clothes.” She replied, undoing the button on his collar and then her soft fingers made their way down his chest, her eyes following as it fell open. He shrugged it down before he fell back down on top of her and moved to pull her vest top over her head. As he tossed it aside somewhere he let out a gentle moan at the sight of her in front of him, and he wrapped his arm around her back and tugged her up slightly as his head bent to take a nipple into his mouth. He used both his hands and his mouth in a nearly coordinated attack that left her all but dying, and completely desperate for his touch elsewhere. He could read her body signals like a book and happy to oblige, one of his hands slid down, dipping into her bed shorts, finding him hot and wet for him. He groaned into her chest his fingers playing with her.

“Baby you’re soaked.”

She managed to moan in response, and then it was a race for the pair of them to get out of their remaining clothes as fast as they could. Once there was no barrier between them he kissed her hard, Katie shifting so that her legs went around his waist, pulling him flush against her, wanting to touch every inch of him possible. Steve repositioned himself slightly, gently working into her, the pair of them letting out a satisfied sigh as he bottomed out, stilling slightly just to savour the moment.

“Stevie…” Katie whispered into his ears “Please…” At her plea, he began to thrust, slowly, deeply, running his hand down Katie’s leg until his hand stopped at her knee. Katie looked at him as he seemed to hesitate for a split second before he directed her leg up, casually resting it over his shoulder so that he could go even deeper. She moaned loudly, he’d never done that before and it felt so unbelievably good, like nothing ever had before. Her fingers dug into his arm as he starting pushing a little harder, a little faster, then faster, until he had reached a relentless pace. Katie could do nothing but reach up, bracing herself on the headboard of the large bed as he continued, making her curse and leaving her short of breath, eyes closed in utter pleasure.

He slowed for a moment, making her look at him, letting out a noise of protest. “Don’t stop.” she begged, “Fuck, Stevie…”

He grinned, and it was a wicked grin, coupled with the mischievous flash in his eyes and it made her gulp slightly. She’d never seen him like this before, it was as if something had snapped and he was finally letting himself go fully, realising that after almost six months of sleeping together he didn’t have to be a gentleman all the time as she wasn’t going to break. As she stared into those baby blues, his pupils blown with desire he slowly pushed himself up so he could put her other leg over his other shoulder.

“Oh, holy fuck-” Her voice cut off and turned into a loud wail as he picked up the pace once again, pounding into her over and over and it wasn’t long before his name and another plethora of curses tumbled from her lips as her orgasm ripped through her like nothing she’d felt before. Her back arched, fingers dug into his back as he coaxed her through it before dropping her legs from his shoulders, laying atop her and chasing after his own end furiously. Katie held him close as she came down, gently encouraging him into his ear, his rhythm eventually stuttering and changing as he came with a frantic gasp of her name.

The pair of them were slick with sweat and absolutely spent as they laid still, no sounds coming bar the ragged gasps for air from them both. Steve buried his head in the crook of his girl’s neck and she ran her fingers through his hair, his forehead still clammy and he let out a loud hmmm of contentment.

A moment or so later, Katie broke the silence.

“Baby.” She said softly, a playful thought rising in her mind. His response was simply another hmmm because he was still utterly blissed out. This caused Katie to smile a little as she spoke again. “Did Cap just come out to play?”

She felt him grin into her neck, “I think he may have done, yeah.”

“Well you can tell him from me that was amazing?”

“I’ll be sure to let him know…” Steve mumbled, still not moving.

“In fact, I’d go so far as to say that’s probably the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Just probably?” Steve lazily raised his head to look at her and she made a show of looking upwards as if she was thinking about it.

“Ok definitely” She grinned, kissing him gently.

*****

Katie bid goodbye to Coulson’s team the next morning, Steve remained in the hotel room as he’d been under instructions from Fury not to speak to Coulson or draw attention to him in any way. Then they’d taken 3 glorious days break in Ireland, hiring a car and driving to Limerick.

As they drove, Katie told him all about the mission, what the staff had made her see, and how it had surprised her slightly what her worst memory was.

“I always thought it would be the time Tony told me mom and dad were dead” she said, softly a Steve cruised their hired Audi Q3 down the motorway. “Guess I fear losing Tony more.”

“It kinda makes sense.” Steve said, his hand straying to her knee “you were very young when the crash happened. Tony’s been your dad for, what, 22 years now? Far longer than Howard was I suppose.”

“Yeah.” she said gently, looking out of the window “I mean, I don’t remember a lot about my parents to be fair. I have memories, but sometimes I wonder how many of them are mine and how many of them are what people told me.”

Reminiscing seemed to be the theme of their brief trip away. They spent a day visiting the places Steve’s Ma had told him all about, then the next day, after a lazy morning they drove up to Dublin where they had both drunk a fair amount of Guinness after Katie dragged Steve to Temple Bar, showing him the places she had spent a fair few weekends in on trips over from the UK. They forgot all about SHIELD, all about Fury, all about missions. They were just a normal couple enjoying a break, and Steve had frankly never had as much fun in his life.

It was on their last night, just after they were curled up in post coital bliss after their 3rd round that evening when Steve mentioned about how it was back to reality the day after that Katie propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him, biting her lip.

“What if I don’t want to?” She asked quietly.

“Don’t want to what, Honey?” Steve asked, kissing her head.

“Go back. To SHIELD I mean.”

Steve’s hand paused its journey up and down her spine as he turned his head to look at her, frowning. “You want to leave?”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the last 3 days.” she said, her fingers gently tracing over the dark blonde hair on his chest. “I can’t do it anymore Steve, I’m tired.”

“What’s brought this on?” he asked, turning so he was on his side facing her, pushing her hair back off her face.

“I can’t pin point one thing.” she said, looking down. “But…”

Steve paused, waiting for her to continue, and after a deep breath she did, her words coming almost as a jumble as she poured her heart out to him in the darkness of their hotel room.

“If I’m honest I’ve been thinking about it since we found out that they hadn’t been destroying the Chitauri weapons. Look what happened when Fury started fucking about with the Tesseract… I mean how do we know they’re not making more weapons just like they were before New York?”

Steve remained silent, that had been bubbling away in his mind too. He wasn’t best pleased about the situation but knew that Katie, who had headed up the DODC clean- up had taken it personally. She’d flipped out when Tony had told her what his latest hack into SHIELD had discovered and Steve had had to stop her marching into Fury’s office and calling him a liar there and then. He understood completely, she felt betrayed after having being told she was heading up a clean-up operation when in actual fact it turns out to be a goddamed technology harvesting operation.

“You now when Coulson died, I blamed myself. I made a decision to try to free Thor not help Coulson and I know I’d probably do it all over again because it was the right call, but the point is I blamed myself, for the past what, 18 months or so and Fury…he let me do that, he let me think he was dead…”

She was getting worked up, Steve could hear it and sense it, even if he couldn’t see her properly.

“Hey…” he said, his hand gently moving to her arm, rubbing softly as she continued her ramblings.

“And then there I get to The Bus and there’s more secrets there, not being told Ward was on the team, which to be fair wasn’t as bad as I thought but still, it’s more lies…”

She was crying now and Steve sighed, wrapping his arms round her and pulling her to him. She pressed her face into his chest “This isn’t me Steve, it’s not who I am.”

He held her close, hand wandering up into her hair as he chewed over what she was saying. From a selfish point of view the thought of her leaving SHIELD worried him. She’d been his linchpin, his rock at the agency, and he relied on her more than she would know. He loved working with her, seeing every day and he was scared if that changed, so would their relationship. But there was a small part of him that also worried when she was on missions, and there was no doubt if she did quit she’d be a hell of a lot safer. And not all couples worked together, right?

He pulled back slightly, his large hand cupping her cheek “Hey, you know I got your 6 right? I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

“I know.” She sniffed softly. I just feel like if I do quit, then I’m taking the easy way out, you know, I mean SHIELD is dad’s legacy.”

“Maybe once.” Steve popped his shoulder. “Times have moved on, SHIELD has changed. I doubt your dad, Peggy or Colonel Phillips would have ever imagined in a million years how it would evolve.”

“You’re telling me times have changed?” She quipped and he chuckled.

“Guess I am, but I learned pretty fast when I got that serum that you can’t live your life being who people want you to be or think you should be. You need to be true to yourself”

She nodded and stifled a yawn.

“Sleep on it.” He urged, his thumb stroking her cheek. “And then if it’s still what you want tomorrow, ’ll even write your resignation letter.”

“I got it planned” She yawned. “Dear Fury. Fuck you. Love Nova.”

Steve laughed and pulled her to him, kissing her head. “Maybe drop the Love Nova.”

****

“You sure you wanna do this?” Steve asked as they stopped outside Fury’s office. Katie nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Okay, I’ll be right here.” He said, both his hands on her face. She gave him a smile and then turned and opened the door.

“Agent Stark.” Fury swivelled in his chair “Take a seat.”

“It’s okay Sir, this won’t take long.” She declined his offer, taking a deep breath.

“Do I need to borrow Captain Rogers SHIELD?” He looked at her, raising an eyebrow. “I’m assuming this is the bit where you’ve come to tell me exactly how pissed at me you are.”

“I’m not pissed” She shook her head, “I was, but not now. I’m just disappointed.”

He eyed her, and gestured for her to continue.

“I expected better from you Sir. You lied to me. You let me believe Coulson was dead. You know I blamed myself for that for months, and then if that wasn’t bad enough you sent me to a team containing my ex boyfriend…and don’t even get me started on the fact you’re secretly hiding Chitauri technology instead of destroying it.”

At that Fury’s face slipped and his face grew dark. “How do you…”

She arched an eyebrow and Fury gave a groan.

“Son of a…your brother is a liability.”

“Maybe, but at least he isn’t a liar.” She shot back. “And neither am I. I pride myself on being honest, doing the best I can and I don’t like being used or manipulated.”

“Agent Stark…”

“I can’t do it anymore.” She hook her head. “I’m tired of it all, the lies, the secrecy. This isn’t…it isn’t me.” she finished, shrugging.

“So what are you saying Nova?”

“That you can consider this my formal resignation.” She looked at him, eyes not moving from his and for a moment she was sure she saw a flicker of something that looked like regret flash across the Director’s face. But it disappeared as fast as it had arrived and she took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders back. “I will, of course, work any formal notice period.”

“I don’t suppose there’s any point in me trying to change your mind?”

“No, don’t suppose there is.” She shook her head.

“In that case, there’s no notice period necessary.” Fury spoke calmly, his posture returning to normal. He took a deep breath and strode round his desk, holding out his hand. “I’m sorry it’s come to this. You’re one of the best agents I’ve had. Coulson said you worked wonders on the Staff case.”

“Thank you, Sir.” She swalloed, fighting to keep her voice from cracking. “This hasn’t been an easy decision. For the most part, it’s been an honour to serve.”

She gently reached into her pocket, pulling out her official ID and ran her fingers over the silver badge before she handed it to him. Fury took it from her, and with one last smile she took a deep breath and turned, to leave, the tears brewing in her eyes.

This had to be one of the hardest decisions she’d ever made in her life but she wasn’t backing down. She’d talked it over with Steve extensively over the last two days and Tony too for that matter, her brother telling her that he, and their father would be proud of her no matter what. Undeniably her role at SHIELD had given her everything. A purpose, a new outlook on life, Steve. But now it was time to channel that energy in a new way.

“I would like you to remain on our books, in an advisory role.” Fury’s voice stopped her in her tracks and she grinned to herself, suddenly transported back to when he had said the same thing to Tony a few years ago.

She turned back and winked. “You can’t afford me.”

**** Chapter 11

**Original Posting**

#stark spangled banner #steve rogers #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers x original female character #Katie Stark #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans characters

95 notes · View notes

whump-town · 3 years

Text

A Cumbersome And Heavy Body

Chapter One: Tired Of This Body

Summary: Stubborn until the very end, Aaron Hotchner isn't going to go down without a fight. It's just getting hard to tell the difference between fighting them and fighting the cancer.

Word count: 7,883

Author’s Note: ugh... well, here it is. Don’t be afraid to send me hate mail or leave a comment. I love it when I make you guys sad (in a loving way of course) :)) good luck you little shits and may the odds be ever in your favor (FYI, they’re not)

Warning: the subject of this fic is cancer and it’s treatment, cursing, maybe out of character (idk, man. hotch is weird)

I've grown tired of this body Cumbersome and heavy Tired of this body Fall apart without me

“I understand you’re here with concerns of a mass you found—”

He was shaving. The mirror fogged from his shower and the room heavy with steam. Leisurely, he’d wasted time getting ready. That particular morning, he’d gotten up before his alarm and he was happy for the distraction of the near-boiling water pouring over his back while the cold tile bites into his shoulder. An easy stress-reliever before the day fully starts.

Dragging a cool rag over his face he’d caught sight of a slightly swollen place on his chest. He’d dropped the rag in the sink and gently probed the area. He’d expected the sting of a bruise, not a knot of hard lumps.

It wasn’t a bruise.

“I regret to inform you—”

He hadn’t even known there were lymph nodes in the chest.

“Can you take your shirt off for me, sir?”

There’s a whole staff of people fluttering and dodging his eyes. A blur of motion as they work around him. Of them all, Hotch has already developed a soft spot for. Dr. Fitz and the glasses that are too big for his face despite his attempts to make them fit his face. There are rubber bands wrapped around the earpieces to push them tighter around his head and a piece of tape holding one of the lenses in. It’s strangely endearing.

No matter how many times Hotch tells Dr. Fitz that Aaron works just fine, he still nervously throws in the courtesy. He’s just like Reid and it’s that thought that makes him both comfortable and so unbearably alone.

With a nod, Hotch tugs his shirt out from where it’s tucked into his pants. The cold air hits his bare chest and he holds his breath for a moment, shivering slightly before he takes control once again. Foyet’s scars are on broad display for the whole room but, to their credit, none of them blink. They’re not here to dissect the scars covering his body or take stock of the weight he’s put on.

He just goes where he’s pulled. If he flinches when they touch him, no one comments. It’s for the better, mostly.

“The tattoo is going to guide the external beam radiation at your tumor,” Dr. Fitz explains once again. His hands tremble slightly as they hold the little needle in his hands. “It’s just three dots.”

Hotch nods, his mouth a little too dry. This whole process a little too much. He nods his understanding, fists clenched at his side to force himself to show no outward reaction. It doesn’t bother him as much as it should those dots are going to be with him forever. His first and last tattoo.

Forcing a steadying breath, he glues his eyes to the ceiling. It stings but it’s not unbearable. The needle digs into his chest, pushing the ink in. It’s the second and third dot that get him. His skin is getting hot, sore enough to make him gunt as the last one is placed.

“Not nearly as fun as a normal tattoo,” one of the other doctor’s observes. Hotch, blinking back tears, looks over at his other doctor. A woman whom he’d never have figured the “tattoo” type. His brain is a little preoccupied, worn down. He’ll get over not profiling her very well, he just might not forgive himself for the slip-up.

Hotch just… grunts. Not a real answer but the easiest.

He’s offered a hand up but he doesn’t take it. Shoulders sore and arms weak, he pushes himself up. Leaning to the side when his head starts to pound, his mouth really, really dry.

“Alright—” a cold gloved finds his shoulder. “You’re just panicking,” he’s reassured. “You need to breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth.” The hand squeezes his shoulder but he keeps his eyes squeezed shut. It feels like he’s going to pass out. But… he doesn’t. He breathes as instructed and slowly, the room calms back down.

As he peels his eyes open, chest tight and hands trembling, he finds the room still every bit as busy as it was before his little fit. The world really doesn’t stop.

“Are you sure—,” Dr. Fitz twists and worries his hands. Obviously, he’s worked himself up too. Probably blaming himself for Hotch’s reaction. He should have let him take a break or warned him a little better. “Most people find it helpful to have someone here,” Dr. Fitz observes. “Do you— Do you want to call someone?”

His eyes drop to the floor, his mind-- Haley. She would be here. Cracking jokes and poking at his side. Things used to be so much easier with her around. There was this magic about her, a drug her presence doped him up. She would light the room up and hold his hand. She’s not here, though. She’s dead and he’s having a hard time convincing himself this isn’t some sort of penance.

Snuffing out a light like her, it was bound to have its consequences.

They’ve marked him and with his advanced stage, he’s got an aggressive treatment plan, and the radiation starts tomorrow. So, no. No, he doesn't want to call anyone. He just wants to serve his time. Besides, who would he call?

JJ? With two children of her own and a painfully busy schedule.

Reid? His mother occupies his mind as is.

Morgan? He’s grappling with a relationship with Savannah, attempting to salvage all of the complex things life has thrown at him.

Dave? Hasn’t he already lost a child? The last thing he needs is to sit here for any given amount of time and watch this.

And he’d never, never put Garcia through this.

“No,” he rasps, laying back down. “I’m okay.”

He closes his eyes and when a single hot tear runs down his cheek, he doesn’t wipe it away. I’m okay.

I’m okay.

There aren't immediate side effects and he’s not sure if that’s a relief or worse. He’s anxious, nearly sick with nerves. Would it not be simpler to just get sick already? To throw up or get sore or just— anything.

The machine hurts his ears. Fifteen minutes of lying perfectly still gets hard after about two minutes. The whole process exacerbated by the way the low hum of the machine makes his head feel like someone’s digging at his skull with an icepick through his ear.

He’s assured he shouldn’t start feeling any symptoms for a few days. Likely not until the second week of treatments.

It takes five days for a stitch in his side to take his breath for a moment, doubling over as he struggles to breathe for a moment. Chest tight and head fogged. They just add another pill bottle to the other whole collection he’s accumulated on his nightstand.

It feels like there’s an elephant sitting on his chest. A hand gripping a fist full of his hair and dunking his head back under the water. Ties binding his wrist to the bed. A knife buried in his side.

It feels like the ground he’s standing on is rumbling, shifting beneath his feet and at any given moment it’s going to pitch him forward. A free fall and he doesn’t know if he’s ever going to land on his feet.

He’s staring at the ceiling. Fists gripping the sheets as his stomach twists and churns. Swallowing around the uncomfortable burn in his throat, he turns his head to the side. Watching the movements just outside his bedroom window. Jack’s outside, kicking his soccer ball, and waiting for Daddy to come to join him. Hotch, will have to join him sooner rather than later. Even with the yard fenced in, anything could happen out there.

Funny. Just a few weeks ago, anything could have been blown under the rug with “at least it’s not cancer”. Now he’s plotting his will out in his head, making sure he covers every little thing. Who will lead the team? Where will Jack go? Can Jessica handle arrangements and should he start preparing the comfort letters now?

In the face of it all, he’d thought he could accept this. Life goes on. Things happen. He doesn’t want to die. All of those poems, the books, and the lies. “Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep.” Well, that’s right shit, in his opinion. What comes next? Not light. Not hope. His body will succumb to cancer leaving behind the carnage of his actions.

Hodgkin's Lymphoma…

He’d known, in that morbid way his thoughts tend to twist, that he shouldn’t get his hopes up. That it would be silly for the doctor to smile, sympathetic to his plight, and advise him to talk to his therapist about this new progression of paranoia. For a pat on the back. Instead, he got the cold examination table under his back, and the nurse giving his trembling hand a squeeze as the needle had plunged into his chest.

It’s all been a haze since that phone call. Since the confirmation. Now he’s got more blood tests scheduled for Monday. That’s what his life is now. Radiation for fifteen minutes for four days a week. On the fifth day, he gets blood work drawn. They check for enzymes and cells. He doesn’t really care to understand.

He should. Don’t mistake the careless, numb ache thinking about all this gives him for complete inattention to detail. It’s just a little much for one person.

Hotch finds himself wondering what Reid would tell him about the whole process. Statics that would knock the wind from his lungs and odds that would make him feel just a little better. That he’s too old and too stressed out. That radiation aimed at his chest can harden his arteries and increase his already high chances of a heart attack. That he should have seen this coming-- his father died at 47. Lung cancer. A heart attack.

He should have seen it coming.

“Daddy?”

He has to lean into his nightstand as the ground warps beneath his feet. “I’m coming,” he manages, closing his eyes and blindly hoping that his door is shut and Jack can’t see him. He wishes he’d smoked more. Indulged in Dave’s cigars. Gone drinking with Derek. Danced like Penelope. Fuck, smiled more.

He didn’t even know there were lymph nodes in the chest. He’d gone to law school. Spent his early adulthood learning to read complex course material and how to cry softly in a room with another person less than five feet from him. Maybe he should have studied Biology… but then he’d just have to come to terms with the fact that this whole mess was bound to happen. Predisposed. Genetic and environmental.

His fault.

--------------------------------

Six in the morning is not a typical time to be fielding calls from concerned police officials. “He—Hello?” Which, now that phone is tucked under his chin, and the call answered, he realizes that he should have checked the caller ID. As stated, is it six in the morning and he doubts anyone too important is calling him at this hour.

Unless, of course, his luck has finally run out and yet another political disaster has occurred. Leaving him to clean the wreck.

The other end makes a strange noise before he’s greeted with, “--finally! I was almost worried you wouldn’t answer!”

Oh.

Emily.

“Morning,” he greets, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. He’s a little too grumpy for this right now but she’s obviously called for a reason, her happiness seeping into tone, and he’s not going to purposely ruin that. How many hours ahead is London, again? Why is she awake?

“I was worried,” she admits. He can hear her working, the drag of her pen across paper, and the shift of the leather chair she’s sitting in. Even her keyboard clicking away as she multi-tasks. “Your last letter was nearly two weeks ago. Is everything good at home?”

Home. He smirks, she’s been overseas now for several years. Yet, she still refers to Virginia as home. The thought makes him shake his head. He’d never draw the conclusion out loud to her but he can imagine that little slip-up is one of the reasons that her on-again-off-again boyfriend Michael grows frustrated with her. It’s not her fault. It’s an understandable mistake but it certainly reflects a certain tone for her affections of London.

Her preferences.

“They’re fine,” he answers, evenly. “Jack’s doing well in school. Dave’s stopped hounding me about potential love suitors.” He pauses to splash water across his mouth, preparing to wash his face. “Garcia enjoyed last month’s tea flavor, what was it-- raspberry?”

He places his phone on speaker and sets it on the shelf above his sink. Ducking his head, he listens to her while he washes his face. Going about the habitual process of shaving. A comforting thing he’s always done. He’s got no preference when it comes to facial hair. A beard is just as easy as a clean face. It’s about shaving. It’s soothing. It’s one of the few things that’s remained constant in his life.

She’s talking-- he thinks about how the weather in London has hit a point in the season that she doesn’t particularly like. Raining and cold. That she wants to come home but she isn’t sure she should. Will she really be able to tear herself away from the Virginia weather? From them?

He’s half-way done shaving when his eyes drift to his shirtless chest.

He wonders how many times he shaved, how many mornings did he wake up before he realized-- before he saw the tumor or the lump or mass or whatever the hell the medical term is. He lowers his head, sighing in defeat but mostly anger. How’d he let it get to this?

“Anyways,” she sighs. Sounding every bit as tired as he feels. “How is home? How are you?”

He looks at himself in the mirror. His head is absent of reason. No logic or forethought.

“I have cancer.”

-------------------------------- Everything about Aaron Hotchner is traditional and simplistic. It’s not a bad thing. In the years that she's known him, she’s grown fond of that. It makes him predictable and reliable. Something that happens infrequently in people the older that she gets. A part of her does feel wrong for clinging to that, to him, but she cherishes his friendship. Through the ups and downs.

Their means of communication are letters. Once a week she can expect to find two to three pages of neatly written updates on her family across the pond. He’ll ramble about anything in those letters and that’s what she enjoys about them the most. There is no hesitation to tell her what he thinks. In those letters, she can find Aaron. Incredible soft, thoughtful Aaron.

It’s been two weeks since he’s sent a letter. Not to sound clingy but she’s kind of hurt. More so, she’s nervous to find out what’s taking up so much of his time. He’s routine with his responses. Almost every Thursday night she can curl up with his newest letter and a glass of wine and read about the BAUs newest adventure. It’s always a bonus when throws in his subtle little “I” statements. I miss you’s come rare but when they do happen it’s nice.

Sighing, she caves. It’s Friday, she hasn’t heard from him in two weeks, and she misses him. By the time she has his contact picture pulled up and the ring tone dialing-- his goofy picture from his badge grinning at her-- she realizes that her eleven am is his six am. Just as she’s starting to think he won’t answer it goes through.

“H--Hello?” he sounds like shit. Over the course of the last year, she’s managed to forget what he sounds like. His voice is startlingly deep which does surprise her just a little.

“Finally!” she mumbles. “I was worried you wouldn’t answer!”

He yawns and it makes her smile. “Morning,” he grumbles and she can hear him scratching tiredly at his face. She feels guilty for waking him up for only a moment. That is until she remembers he gets up at six. So it’s likely she called right after his alarm clock went off.

Tucking her phone between chin and shoulder, she turns her computer on. Settling in behind her desk and getting to work. “I was worried,” she tells him. Not sure if she’s meaning to sound mad at him for not sending his “everyone’s alive and well” letter or mad that she doesn’t know how he is. He’s thrown her off her routine. “Your last letter was nearly two weeks ago. Is everything good at home?”

Her worry bleeds into the statement but he’s too tired to feed it or make fun of it.

She can hear him huff softly, an almost laugh.

“They’re fine,” he answers softly. His voice is drowsy, “Jack’s doing well in school. Dave’s stopped hounding me about potential love suitors.” She hears the tap run, he pauses, and she can hear him splashing water on his face. “Garcia enjoyed last month’s tea flavor, what was it-- raspberry?”

She smirks, it was raspberry. Although, she doubts Garcia liked it as much as he says. She’s not a huge raspberry fan. Besides, Emily had sent that tea with one specific tea drinker in mind: him. The thing about Hotch is, he’s traditional, but he’s also complicated. That’s just Hotch for “I enjoyed the tea you sent”.

Really, she’d just wanted him to be introduced to more teas than his just his simple black tea. Be more creative. Have some fun.

“I’m glad Garcia liked the tea,” she says with a smirk. “She’s been texting me all week.” Pictures, texts, and a few Snapchat. Emily doesn’t entirely know how to use Snapchat yet but she’s getting the hang of it. “You guys being grounded is relaxing, I’m sure, but that woman’s got way too much time on her hands.” Emily shakes her head at the thought. Lovingly, of course.

“Anyways,” she runs a hand over her face and she lets out a sigh. “How is home? How are you?”

There’s a long pause on his end. All his busy movements coming to a halt. It makes her heart pick up its pace, her gut twisting. Suddenly, that knee-jerk thought, that stupid thought that something might be wrong feels true. She’s just about to say his name when his voice cuts through.

“I have cancer.”

Her first reaction is oh. At least she was right.

That is immediately followed by-- oh fuck.

“Are you…” she swallows thickly, work forgotten. “Have--” Where does she even begin?

He clears his throat, “Hodgkin's Lymphoma.” He answers without her actually having to ask. It feels to get it off his chest, literally. To tell someone. “I guess--” he makes a choked sound like the shock of this news is setting in again. “They have to put, uhm, ink to locate the right place. So, I… I have a tattoo of sorts now.”

She laughs a half-pained sound. “I’m sure Morgan doesn’t consider it to be a tattoo,” she manages around the tightness of her throat. She cringes at the thought, ink and a needle just digging into his flesh. Cancer invading his body.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment but when he does, she understands the silence.

“I haven’t told them.”

As much as she wants to be mad at him, she shouldn’t really expect anything different. He’s painfully shy and private. God knows if she hadn’t found him half-dead in the hospital after Foyet, he’d have gone as long as possible without telling them. He certainly wouldn’t have told them while still hospitalized.

It’s the same lack of forethought that goes through them, a moment of blindness. He’d felt the weight of restraints pulling his limbs down when the admissions had left his lips. She feels only conviction, “I’m coming home.”

It catches him entirely off guard.

She winces when he starts coughing. His first symptom since starting radiation. It’s a horrible sounding dry cough that makes her lungs ache just to hear.

The coughs fold him over, the force at which they leave his mouth is painful. What is it that makes coughing so painful? That’s never made much sense. It’s just air, right?

“Hotch?”

He rubs at his sternum, trying to externally soothe the muscles. “I’m okay,” he chokes. Shakily, his right-hand bears his weight as his left turns the faucet on. With his palm, he manages to sip a few mouthfuls of water. It just doesn’t stop the coughing. “I’m okay.”

She highly doubts that. There’s not a single thing about what she just heard that sounds “okay” by anyone standards-- certainly not his. “Are you going to work like this?” she asks. It’s hard to believe he’d allow himself to be seen in any state that isn’t tip-top shape. On that note, she also knows that way too good at putting on a show, and, for profilers, the team sucks at making that distinction.

The anger that evokes in him is undue. Admittedly, he overreacts. “I said I’m fine,” he barks. “I don’t need you checking in on me, Prentiss. I don’t need you here, too!” To watch. It’s bad enough, okay? That he’s going to have to tell his six-year-old son that he’s dying. Each morning a little more than the last and some days feel like he’s already half-lowered into the ground.

And the others. Reid and those sad eyes. The way Morgan won’t be able to look at him, just avert his gaze and storm out of the room. Dave’s crushing hug and JJ’s silent tears. Garcia… He can only imagine the raging in-betweens of what the news will do to her. Stress baking cookies he won’t be able to stomach. Knitting him hats, sweaters, and blankets with feverish vigor that he won’t be able to escape.

He could use one of Garcia’s love knitted blankets right about now.

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he relaxes his tight grip on the sink. Knuckles paled and fingers aching.

“Sorry,” Emily finally manages after the long moments of silence.

Hotch hangs his head, biting his lip hard to stop the flow of emotions trying to work their way up. “No,” he rasps, thickly. He sniffles, scoffing when he rubs his eyes with the back of his wrist, finding tears. “That was… inexcusable. I’m so sorry,” he leans down, body in half as he rests his forehead against the cool porcelain of the sink.

This doesn’t even feel like his body anymore.

“Aaron?”

There are tears streaming down his face, he’s too tired to fight them off. “Hmm?”

“I’ll see you soon.”

He hums in agreeance, unable to trust his voice.

“Take it easy, okay? I love you.”

The line dies before he can hasten out a reply.

--------------------------------

She’s been waiting on a reason to leave London for longer than she’s willing to admit.

Her dying friend proves to be reason enough.

Clyde has obvious mixed feelings but he can’t hold her back. He and Hotch had gotten set on the wrong foot. The rivalry between the two men is childish but endearing. Almost nothing has made her feel as loved as the proud smiles they both wear when she greets them. Clyde overwhelmingly pleased he’d won her back to London and Hotch smug she’ll travel hours to come to see him (she hadn’t done that for Clyde).

Almost nothing beats that.

“Emily!”

Her eyes are scanning the crowd before her, searching for her mismatched ragtag family. Sore thumbs, bobbing up and down in the crowd, they wave her to them. She notices he’s not there immediately.

“Princess,” Morgan sighs her name into her hair and she turns her face into his shoulder. Drawing in the strength she can feel wavering with a new wave of anxiety washing over her. It helps that they’re here. Derek’s arms wrapped around her after what feels like a lifetime away.

It’s only taken her three decades but she’s found her family and she’s not letting anything drag her away this time.

Garcia pushes at Morgan, causing a choked laugh out of them all. “Stop hogging all the Emily-lovings!”

Morgan smirks, trying to hide the relief swelling in his eyes like tears. He gets one more good look of her, eyes combing over her before parting with a sad smile. Relieved.

There’s a blur of motion. She’s pulled to each of them.

Garcia hugs like she’s trying to crush ribs and Emily lets her.

Hugging Dave brings tears to her eyes. Fuck, she’s missed them.

“Don’t make me chase you,” Emily threatens when she spots Reid near the edge. Pulling him close she rests her head against his shoulder, happy when he squeezes her back. “I’ve missed you, boy wonder.” Her genius. Just as scrawny as when she left him. She doesn’t want to do that again anytime soon.

Dave claps his hands together, grabbing one of the three bags she’d dropped. “Let’s get lunch, kiddos. We can talk about London.” He winks at Emily and she knows that this is going to spin into a conversation about potential love interests. She hasn’t had love on the brain in a while.

London… not everything she wishes it was. Cold and rainy. Relentlessly.

For the first month, she was over there, all she wanted was to come home. She just kept waiting for the rain to ease up. Then there should be that wet, hot humidity that clings to everything. She’d hated that before but now she’d just give anything to have it. For Reid to drag her out for coffee and the sun to bring out the chipper inflection in Garcia’s voice.

How the sun looked on Jack and Henry’s little head when she’d run around the park with them.

Fuck London, she’s just glad to be home.

“So,” she’s allowed them their fill of questions. Things about INTERPOL and if she’s still leaning heavily on take out food or if she’s managed even the faintest bit of finesse concerning cooking (she hasn’t). Leaning onto her elbows, she asks the question that’s been bugging her for hours. “Where’s Hotch?”

Dave leans back in his chair and JJ’s the first to crack. Of course, her poker face just isn’t that great. Her eyes move to Dave, concern written across her face. They might not know but it’s not that hard to figure out they know something isn’t right.

Reid shifts uncomfortably, averting his eyes, and focus.

“Your guess is as good as ours,” Dave informs her. He settles back in his chair, arms crossing on his chest. “He’s…” he sighs tiredly. For a moment he just shakes his head. Rubbing a hand over the coarse hair on his face and then rubbing at his eyes. “He’s Aaron,” Dave mumbles. “Complicated and… reserved.” He looks at her now, zeroed in on just her. Just them.

Her heart races at just the thought of them knowing.

JJ clears her throat. She distracts her worry with rubbing her nail at the glass. “He says he’s at meetings,” she tells Emily. “Says--” she shakes her head, flustered. Upset. Pulling in a breath, she shakes softly as it comes in. “Every day, he sends me an update email. Just a list of things he expects to get done for the day or places he might be.” JJ tucks a strand of her hair back from her face. “Our jobs circle around each other, a lot. It makes my life easier if I can find him without running all over the place.”

Morgan turns his head, away from the conversation. Wishing to be uninvolved but unable to escape.

“He’s lying,” JJ concludes. She worries her lip with her teeth. “His lists are…” her eyebrows furrow as she struggles to say exactly what she means. “Last week,” she says with a nod, having come up with her perfect example. “He said he’d be in a meeting. Didn’t tell me where, he always tells me where.” Her eyes scan over the table, looking for more. “Something’s wrong and he won’t tell us.”

Morgan huffs, shifted now so that his arms are wrapped tightly around himself. His legs crossed, even. Distant. “I don’t see why we don’t just let him be.” His tone betrays what he’s really feeling. That anger and the vulnerability. His words are reflexive. He’s always pushed away when things get tough.

Emily wants to rise to his defense or to say anything but she can’t.

“Reid went into his office yesterday--”

Reid flinches. The memory or the feeling, he draws himself in. Shielding himself from whatever is being said.

Garcia looks down at her lap.

“He was asleep at his desk,” Dave finishes, despite seeing just how uncomfortable Garcia and Reid look. “Out like a-- Asleep like he hadn’t rested in a while. It took-- I had to shake him awake. He was warm to the touch and shaking.” Dave looks down to the table. “Shaking. He was weak and I’d known,” he looks up, frowning sadly. “I’d known something was wrong before but whatever is, we’ve got to get to the bottom of it.”

The bottom of it… God, they’re going to be devastated.

Lunch brightens. It’s forced to when the conversation shifts to the children. To Henry starting fourth grade and Jack’s in middle school now. Since when did those babies grow up?

Sooner than maybe she’s ready for it, she has to leave them. She’s too tired, too jet-lagged.

And maybe… Maybe she’s ready to bother Hotch. To reacquaint herself with his grumpy, silent nature. Isn’t it silly to think she’d hated him once?

Now she knows where his house keys are hidden.

The key hits the lock and she realizes how this might not be as great of a plan as she had planned it to be. “Hotch,” she calls into the dark. She peaks around, hoping if he’s home he’s not on edge. She’s seen him hypervigilant, she knows this is an awful plan. Even calling ahead might not have been enough. So, it’s more than brave for her to just come barging in.

She puts her back near the coat rack, still hunched into herself in case he comes barreling around the corner. He doesn’t. “Aaron?” His car is out front, despite the darkness of the room suggesting the house is empty. The blinds are drawn shut, blocking all-natural light into the house. The air is cool. “Aaron if you’re here please, please don’t shoot me.”

Shutting the door behind her, she progresses into the living room. The creaking of floorboards draws her attention to the other side of the house and she spots him.

He comes around the corner of the hall, from the direction of his room. Tired eyes move up to find her, his lip quirks into half a smile. “Emily,” he greets under his breath. He’d heard the door open but the binds weighing his wrist and ankles to the bed had been too much for him to lift. Pained and slowed, he’d made his way to figure out who was home.

Certain it’s not Jack, he should have had a little more trepidation about coming out here to investigate.

She approaches him slowly, soaking in every line and angle of his body. The way he’s favoring his right side is a new thing but the crescent moons under his eyes are a comforting familiarity. Pulling in a breath, she drags her eyes all the way up to him. He’s lost some weight and it just makes his cheekbones that much more hauntingly sharp. It draws attention to the scars on his face, thin and aged.

With a smile, she shakes her head at him. “Just as ugly as when I left,” she informs him.

He smiles tiredly, sighing at her playful taunt. It makes the hug she pulls him into relieving. The aches and chills he’s felt all day lessen as she wraps her arms around him. Something about the way her hand cups the back of his neck while the other rubs his up along his spine.

She’s standing on the tips of her toes, stretching to get to him. He leans down into her, closing his eyes. She just holds him that much closer. Against her, she can feel the beating of his heart. The way his nerves had amped his heart rate up and now, as the beat slows, the way he calms under her touch.

“How are you?” she asks quietly. They pull apart and she feels the absence of his warmth immediately.

He pulls in a weak breath, one he lets out a strangled cough. Shakes his head and offers a shrug. “I’m okay,” he assures her.

She doesn’t fail to notice how his right hand shakily reaches out to steady him against the wall. They’ve never agreed on the definition of okay and, so, it’s not that surprising they wouldn’t now.

Burying a cough into the elbow of his arm, he starts to tremble. His breathing takes a heavy quality as he stands there. It takes only a moment for him to draw himself up to his full height, swallowing down against the pain and forcing his body to bend to his will. If she didn’t know better, nothing would look wrong at all.

“Can I get you anything,” he asks, clenching his teeth to keep steady despite how exhausted he feels. “How long are you staying?” He knows she won’t actually answer that first question, so he steps by her and lets her follow him into the kitchen. Hyper-aware of the way he moves his body. Trying to look normal instead of stiff.

She follows him, watching for clues in the slips of his armor. One of the many benefits of having known him so long and knowing him well is that he can’t get much past her. “I’m staying for as long as I’m welcome,” she replies. It’s better than the truth, that she’s staying until he’s better.

He appreciates her choice of wording even if the truth is still there underneath it all. Leaving him the burden of the situation, which is considerably worse.

He sticks with a simple hum of understanding, knowing she’ll understand it as such. “Staying where,” he asks. Suspecting he already knows the answer. “Here?” He fills two glasses with water, desperate to soothe his dry mouth. Turning to her, he offers the first glass.

She accepts the glass without comment. “I didn’t think about where,” she lies, smirking over the glass rim at him. He shakes his head but doesn't comment. “Here would be good though.” She looks up at him and he shakes his head with a smile. “It would!” she defends. “I know you miss me and I could help around with Jack. If you won’t admit to it, I know he will.” Her smile twists mischievously, “besides, he’s my favorite Hotchner and I’ll make time to spend with him regardless of where I stay.”

He shakes his head but he’s already formulating how to move the guest room around to accommodate her. There’s not much in there. A bed with some regular looking sheets and two or three boxes of random things.

Putting her glass down on the counter she sighs. “We don’t need to worry about that right now.” Nodding her head back towards the hall she says, “you look miserable. Go to bed.”

He realizes that while she was talking he’s slowly started leaning more and more on the counter. Accumulating a lean to ease the aches wracking his body. She’s right. He looks miserable because he is. He’s exhausted.

“Do you need to take any medication?”

He shakes his head, not letting it bother him when she tucks herself against his side. Allowing him to lean into her. He doesn't but the warmth her body brings is pleasant enough to keep him going.

He took everything he needed this morning. The medicine for the radiation rash he’s developed across his chest, the preventative pills for the fibrosis that might build in his lungs because of the radiation, and a whole other list of things he can’t really remember. He just has the bottles on his nightstand and knows that most require two dosages.

His bed is warm and soft, his eyes closing against his will. Logically, he knows he shouldn’t let her see him like this. This is his battle and he doesn’t want to burden anyone else with it. There’s a comfort in sharing, though. Rather it be the brush of her fingers on his forehead, pushing back his crazy or the kiss she presses to his temple before whispering “get some sleep, Hotch”.

And, honestly, he’s tired of being alone.

“Emily?”

She turns in the doorway.

“Thank you.”

Someone has to be here. She wants to be here. “You’d do the same for me.”

--------------------------------

Legs crossed, hair pulled into a half-assed knot atop her head she watches him curiously. He’s up an hour later than she’d expected. No coffee to go along with the egg he has for breakfast. Between them, they have an entire morning spent without nearly a word. Just a simple, “do you want an egg?”

He gets ready but not for work.

“What’re you doing?”

She gets ready too. For what, she’s not sure, but she’s interested none-the-less. Even if she thinks she knows the answer. It’s very interesting, she thinks, to step into the living room and find him staring dumbly back at her. No, not interesting. It’s fun.

Stepping around him, she pulls her coat off the rack. “Isn’t it obvious,” she asks, slipping her feet into the boots. “I’m coming with you.”

Flannel and jeans aren’t his typical go to but it’s a relaxed look. One she finds she doesn't hate.

He crosses his arms on his chest, eyebrows furrowed and a stern frown in place. Startlingly in control for a man she watched choke down half an egg before calling it quits. He hadn’t even had coffee. Now he shifts his weight, left to right. “Emily this isn’t--” he just stands with his mouth open. After a moment he shakes his head. “You don’t want to come.”

So it is treatment.

She pulls her jacket tight around her shoulders and without comment pulls his down too, offering it to him.

He takes it with a sigh, shaking his head, but pulling the sleeves over his flannel. With a sigh, he grabs his keys off the counter. He points a finger at her, looking every bit the father scolding a troublemaking child. “You’re not coming inside the hospital. It’ll be an hour. You’ll drive someplace else. I’ll text you when it’s done.”

She smirks, pleased she’s won this round. Placing two fingers to her temple, she gives him a mocking salute. “Aye-aye captain!” Today, she won’t push. He’s come this far, weeks into his therapy. If he needs some time, then he needs time. Just so long as he knows she’s here now.

Leaving him is harder than she anticipated.

She takes his seat, half-listening as he stands at the door.

“There an outlet about five minutes North,” he says. He watches her move the seat around. Trying to drag the seat closer to the steering wheel so she can actually reach the pedals. “It’ll give you something to do. There’s a bookshop up there too. I-- I take Jack there.” He runs a hand over his hair. “A coffee shop and a smoothie stand and--”

She catches sight of the grey through his hair. Looking away, she clenches her jaw. Worry the edge of the steering wheel. “Aaron,” she finally stops him. “I can take care of myself for an hour. I’m a big girl.”

He shakes his head, ducking to so she can’t see the blush creep up his cheek. “Right,” he manages. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

She nods, “an hour.” She waits until she can’t see him. Those doors closing behind him. Swallowing him whole. It’s just an hour.

She was gone for an entire year. More than that really. Years. What are years to a single hour?

The coffee shop is quant. She can imagine him here. Tucked away within the stacks of books. Reid would like it here. The covers are old but, she thinks with a smile, he’d find something, not to date. Seeking a classic and turning away when it’s not in its original translation. That’s where Garcia has always been his balance. She’d pull him from a rant and sit him down with a cup of tea.

How had Emily ever left them?

Her hands tremble as she runs a finger over those old book backs. Mostly, she wonders what Hotch must be thinking. Heaven or hell. If all the work they’ve put into this job will account for anything at all in the end.

If it’ll hurt.

Her phone goes off. Done. Simple enough.

“I brought you a smoothie!” She’s got his sunglasses on when she pulls up. Not even offering to get out of the driver’s side.

He’s hurting more than he cares to admit. Tired and the rash on his chest burns. Seeing her pull up, he’s glad she doesn’t do more than hook her finger into the sunglasses and peer over their edge at him. Climbing into the car he takes one look at the smoothie and shakes his head. It’s dark green and even if he were hungry he’s sure that isn’t very good. “No thank you,” he mumbles, leaning back into the seat. He tilts his head against the rest.

She’s not really in the mood for arguments. More so, he’s just gotten out of treatment and all he’s had is an egg. “You’ll drink it,” she informs him, putting the car in drive. “Maybe not now but eventually.”

He grunts. Doubt that. If he’s going to manage to stomach anything, it’s not going to be that. Besides, he’d got plans: take a nap. That slowly goes down the drain.

Emily turns up the radio, humming along to a song he doesn’t recognize.

Turning his head, he watches her drive. He hasn’t told her yet but he’s very thankful she’s come back. Even if he’s slightly tainted the return with… She’s here taking over his life. Worming her way into his spare bedroom. Force-feeding him weird green smoothies. He doubts she’ll stop there.

“Hotch?” He doesn’t wake up when she shuts the car off. From there on, she’s gentle. Careful as she extracts herself from the car. “Aaron,” she rubs his shoulder.

He pulls in a small breath, turning slowly to her. Half-lidded eyes find her, confused.

When they left the house he’d looked better. Better than now. Not so exhausted.

“You fell asleep,” she informs him, backing up as he sits up. He has to use the seat to get there but he makes it happen. She waits back for him, letting him take his time getting out of the car. All while holding that damn smoothie she’s convinced she’s going to make him drink.

He’s rubbing the sleep from his eyes when his phone goes off in his pocket. She turns at the door, waiting. He motions her on with a wave, taking the call. “Agent Hotchner speaking.”

She stops for a moment to watch him pull in the whole persona. Not Aaron who just fell asleep in the car but Hotch the rock. It’s sad, really, how quickly the one consumes the other.

She’s reading on the couch when he comes in.

He doesn’t say anything as he slips past, going back towards his room. He comes right back out. The loosely buttoned flannel is forgotten, replaced by a suit across his thin shoulders. Once, those suits had pronounced the sharpness of his body. The way his shoulders sit strong and straight. Now, that jacket doesn’t even look like it belongs to him.

“Where are you going?”

He only glances at her, ducking his head back to the task at hand-- putting on shoes.

She gets up off the couch, flipping the book text down. “Aaron,” she comes around the side. “You can’t go out there.” To work. It’s not healthy to go out there. He had fallen asleep on the ride home, not even twenty minutes ago. He won’t manage out there.

He turns to her as she steps into the room, scowl in place and a look of indifference pulled between them. All the protection he can garner for himself. “It’s not up for debate,” he replies. As if this is out of his control. He just can’t help but think it would be easier this way. It would hurt less, dying out there. A coherent death. He’d feel it. Quick and overwhelming.

But coherent. He’d know.

Not in a hospital. More machine than man. Unable to speak or too weak to think.

It would be better to die a hero.

“Aaron,” she calls, he’s just walking away. “You’re being unreasonable.” She wants to scream. To shout at him or grab him the collar of that oversized dress shirt and shake him. Force him to realize that he’s being stupid. Does he think she’s stupid? They both know this is self-destruction. Skipping treatment. Going into the field. All for this stupid image that he’s convinced himself is necessary. For who? Huh?

It’s better to suffer around people you love than to have them bury you. The only burden is the weight of your casket across their shoulders.

He turns, teeth clenched. Jaw set. “Am I?” he asks. His face has darkened, his cheekbones drawing his cheeks in. “I’m going,” he informs her, “regardless of whatever it is you have to say.”

He won’t look at her. That’s how she knows that no matter how illogical he’s being, he knows exactly what he’s doing. Back turned to her, he stops for just a moment. He knows this isn’t what he should. That this is neither his best option nor the right choice. Still, he opens the door. Stepping out he turns his head, eyes cast to the side. “I--” he shakes his head, he doesn’t know.

Before he can shut the door she calls his name out, fear overriding the anger. “Aaron,” she clenches her fists at her side. “Please be safe.”

His adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows thickly. Glancing at her, he nods his head. At least he has the decency not to lie to her. To pretend this is anything but foolish and a death wish. He shuts the door behind himself without another word.

Leaving her standing there.

Waiting.

She’ll still be waiting that night when Reid calls her. Incoherent.

“I-- I don’t know what’s wrong Emily! He won’t-- He’s bleeding and I--I… He said to call you.”

She shouldn’t have let him leave.

@laiba-the-person, @emily-hottie-prentiss, @unionjackpillow, @clockedstar, @baumarvel, @blakeprentiss, @qvid-pro-qvo, @aaron-hotchner187, @ssalavellan

#tw cancer #haha assholes #I bet you thought I wouldn't hit you with a cliffhanger #emily is super involved in this chapter but the next chapter has lot more of the team in it #aaron hotchner hiding medical issues like he would #stubborn ass #you gotta love him tho #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss #derek morgan #david rossi #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #spencer reid #bau

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iam93percentstardust · 3 years

Text

Haunted Houses

Written as a special treat for Halloween and for @tonystarkbingo

Title of Fill: Haunted Houses Collaborator: iam93percentstardust Card Number: 4012 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20504642/chapters/66707110 Square Filled: K5 - Ghosts Ship/Main Pairing: Tony&Bucky, pre-Stuckony Rating: G Major Tags/Warnings/Triggers: Past Major Character Death, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting Summary: Bucky decides that he doesn’t want to move toward the light after he dies. Instead, he settles down where he’s always lived and keeps everyone else out by haunting the place. He meets his match though in Steve, a real estate agent who’s too stubborn to give up on the house, and Tony, recently come into his inheritance and looking for a place to hide. Word Count: 1151

When Tony is twenty years old, his godfather murders his parents. That would be bad enough but Obie doesn’t stop there. First there’s his parents, and then Obie tries to go after the company, and then when Tony finds the proof he needs to have Obie convicted of double dealing, the man tries to have him murdered too. By the time Obie’s trial is over, Tony has cut Ty out of his life, sold the mansion on Park Avenue, and had his first meeting with a realtor too hot to be allowed.

“So Tony, what dream home are you interested in?” Steve, the realtor too hot to have such a boring name, asks him.

Tony fingers the corners of the photo he’d tucked into his wallet. He’d found the picture a couple weeks ago when he had been going through his mom’s things. It’s a picture of him when he’d been much younger holding hands with someone invisible. It had stirred something in his memory, some vague thoughts of a brownstone that he and his mom had escaped to whenever Howard had been in one of his moods. He had flipped the picture over to see a caption on the back in his mom’s neat penmanship: Tony and Bucky at the house on Rose Street. That’s right: Bucky and the only happy memories of Tony’s childhood.

“A brownstone,” he tells Steve, the too hot realtor. He doesn’t want to sound like he already has the house he wants in mind. He draws a circle on Steve’s map in a wide radius around Stark Tower. He’s pretty fortunate that the brownstone isn’t too far from either his parents’ mansion or the tower, although, now that he’s thinking about it, maybe that’s why his mom had picked this one over all others. “Around this area.”

Steve looks at it, humming doubtfully. “Lot of retirees in this area. Might not be a whole lot of places up for sale,” he says and then hurries to reassure him, “But I’ll see what I can do!”

“I don’t much like people,” Bucky says, helping Tony put the next Lego on his tower.

“You like me,” Tony points out.

Bucky gives him a broad grin. “That’s cause you’re my Tony Cat. You’re special.”

If Bucky is still anything like how he used to be, he’d be willing to bet that house is up for sale again, or will be soon. Ghosts can be vicious little monsters when they want to be. There’s a reason there are all those PSAs on what to do if you’ve got a stubborn ghost living in your house.

A wave of doubt rushes over him. Sure Bucky had liked him back then but that was then. This is now. He’s not the same little boy he used to be and he definitely remembers Bucky telling him once that it’s adults that he really doesn’t like. For all he knows, Bucky has forgotten all about him. Maybe Bucky has a dozen small children that he’s treated like they’re special over the years. Howard’s told him often enough that he isn’t special. Maybe it’s time he believes it.

But…

He thinks back over the memories he’d shared with Bucky, the peace he had felt every time he so much as stepped foot inside the door of the brownstone, and makes his decision. No, Bucky might not remember him but this is what he needs right now. He’s tired, exhausted after the long months of dealing with Obie, Ty, and SI. He needs a break away from it all and since he can’t actually take a holiday without causing a stock market crash, being able to have his own little hideaway is perfect.

“That’s all I ask for,” he says quietly and ducks away to hide a blush when Steve smiles at him.

Steve takes him to five houses before they finally end up at Bucky’s brownstone on Rose Street. Tony has managed to find something wrong with all of the other houses except for one and that one, he was able to be sufficiently lackluster about that Steve had made a frustrated sound, promised him that they would find his perfect house, and dragged him away.

“That last place was okay,” he protests quietly as Steve guides him up the steps of Bucky’s brownstone with a hand on the small of his back. Steve’s hand is bleeding warmth through his jacket, even in the late autumn chill, and he finds himself pressing back into it.

Easy boy, you just got over Ty.

“It wasn’t okay, you didn’t even look at the breakfast nook,” Steve informs him. “I’m going to find you a house you’ll actually love.”

Steve sticks the key in the lock and opens the door, his friendly smile immediately dropping into a sharp glare as he catches sight of something inside the house. Tony frowns curiously, trying to shift into a position where he could see the inside but he can’t.

“I’m not gonna lie to you. This house comes with a ghost but Bucky’s a real sweetheart long as you treat him right,” Steve tells him as he steps aside, letting Tony into the house.

Almost immediately, Tony is awash with memories of a time when things were better, simpler even. A time when he had spent all of his free time with his mom, playing with Bucky, never thinking about having to impress Howard or placating shareholders or having to keep an eye out over his shoulder for Obie’s assassins.

“I don’t care,” he says softly, looking around the foyer for Bucky.

And there he is, gently letting go of a lamp that looks like it’s been repaired several times. So that’s what Bucky does to people he doesn’t like; he does a poltergeist routine. It doesn’t really surprise him. Tony remembers Bucky having a bit of a mischievous streak when he’d been a child. He bites back a smile.

“Hi,” Bucky says, his outline abruptly solidifying the way it does when he goes from invisible to visible. Tony wonders if Steve can see Bucky when he’s invisible too or if he’d been glaring at what must have looked like a floating lamp.

“Hey,” he murmurs. There’s no indication that Bucky remembers him even the slightest bit and he bites back a wince. He’d told himself not to get his hopes up, hadn’t he?

He keeps an eye on Bucky as Steve shows him around the house. It’s the same as he remembers it, just a little more musty, and his resolve firms with every step he takes. So maybe Bucky doesn’t remember him. That’s okay, they can become friends again. This house is exactly what he needs.

“I’ll take it,” he says, startling Steve.

“I—really?” Steve asks, shooting a glance at Bucky, who nods. He wonders what that’s all about.

“Yeah,” Tony says, nodding resolutely. “I’ll take it.”

#stuckony #pre-relationship #alle writes #tsbmiv #if you like please consider reblogging

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flourchildwrites · 3 years

Text

It’s an ordinary Tuesday for most of the hospital occupants as well as the passersby scurrying on the street below. As Rei ends her call with a reputable cab company, she gazes out the window to watch their comings and goings one last time. From the comfort of her windowsill, she likes to imagine the colorful lives they lead in contrast to the hospital's endless reserve of rooms drenched in muted earth tones. The exception is, as always, a vibrant arrangement of Japanese gentians that sits in her windowsill, sticking out like a sore thumb.

But this Tuesday is different. Her doctors say that this day marks a milestone in her recovery. For what it’s worth, Rei is inclined to agree. She’s packing her bags to leave the hospital. Unlikely though it once seemed, Mrs. Todoroki is going home.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Relationships & Characters: Todoroki Rei/Todoroki Enji, Himura Family, Todoroki Family, Todoroki Shouto

Genre: Flashbacks, Parent-Child Dynamics, Healing, Hopeful Ending

Trigger Warnings: Implied/Referenced Canonical Child and Spousal Abuse

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2,993 words (Complete)

A/N: I'm so excited to share the fic I wrote for @todofamzine! I would like to thank the Winter Dawn mod team for being the best damn moderators I have ever worked with and @robinoxel for collabing with me and creating art of Rei to go along with the fic which you can find here. This fic was written before the recent chapters featuring the Todoroki family were published. I did my best to imagine what might have happened during Rei and Enji's past, and any canonical divergence you see is just that: canonical divergence coming from a simpler time. Flashbacks are in italics. I hope you enjoy this fic!

Home is a curious concept for Rei Todoroki. For the better part of a decade, she’s passed her time in a series of well-furnished hospital rooms with bland walls and bleached sheets. Her accommodations are not so cold as to be unwelcoming: extra blankets and plush pillows are a perk of her long penance, not to be taken for granted in spaces like these. But the walls are nearly bare, every wire is tethered taut, and someone somewhere is always—always—watching.

Oddly enough, she’s going to miss that.

What she will find waiting on the other side of the recovery divide is still a mystery.

Rei folds her life into two suitcases. One shirt and a pair of pants lay neatly on top of the open case, but beneath the surface, she allows some disorder. The hairbrush she used this morning is stuffed in the middle. Prescription bottles with rattling pills hide between layers of cloth, and there are deep wrinkles in the fabric below, not unlike the tired lines etched under her middle-aged eyes. She’s almost finished, almost ready to relegate the sterile smell of the hospital to nothing more than a memory, but there’s one last thing to pack.

Some of her photographs are framed; others are faded. A few photos are torn, and still, there’s the odd bit of charring on the edges of one or two pictures, courtesy of young Touya’s wild ways. Rei can’t help but smile at her collection of fond memories.

Her eyes flit to an old, framed newspaper clipping, and echoes of Rei’s glory days wrap around her like a favorite cardigan. In the picture, her stance is commanding; her arms are outstretched. A sheet of ice streams from her fingertips as her pale hair fans out from the force of the chilly blast. The sidekick Frostbyte is strong and vivacious, a match for any villain she might encounter in the small locality she protects. The headline beneath her picture speaks volumes: New Sidekick Frostbyte Freezes Crime Rates!

It’s a warm memory, something Rei wants to tuck in her chest and carry with her wherever she roams. She picks up the frame and places it safely in the top compartment of her baggage. Another image, a picture already tucked in her suitcase, draws her attention.

Rei doesn’t know why she keeps the picture. She isn’t sure why Fuyumi pulled the image from the family albums for her in the first place. Perhaps both Todoroki women are sentimental for what was and what might have been. Looking at the staged photograph now, Rei sees hope in the lineless eyes of her younger self, a blushing, traditional bride in a pure white shiromuku. And there’s Enji by her side, a tall, prideful hero made uncomfortable by the humble formality of the Shinto shrine.

The smile fades from Rei’s face; it is replaced by well-earned worry lines as she glances sideways at the blue flowers on her windowsill. She’ll never know how Frostbyte appeared on Enji’s bride-to-be radar. Neither will she ever be certain if her family, eager to capitalize on her early success as a sidekick and drowning in debt, put her profile into the matchmaker’s hands. Either way, the request was made and answered before the young woman could give her blessing.

Looking back, it feels like their first meeting happened lifetimes ago, as if the entire event is witnessed through a pane of frosted glass. But Rei remembers every detail, down to the tea stains on her mother’s best table cloth and the nervous buzz in the pit of her stomach. The scene plays out as though she is on the outside looking in, forever separated from the optimistic young woman she used to be.

...

The Todoroki family seems pleased.

In between courses, Rei’s mother hisses this sentiment in her daughter’s ear. Her father sits politely through dinner, speaking when spoken to and wearing his deference on his sleeve. Enji appears to be nice, though fixated on his work and the pro hero rankings. His mother and father are cordial, especially considering their lofty status; however, their impeccable etiquette is not important. The Todoroki family fortune is the reason her mother and father agreed to this meeting.

The older couples beam at their children when, somehow, dinner devolves into dessert. Their eager matchmaker announces that Rei and Enji should spend a few moments alone to speak candidly about dating with marriage (and children) in mind. Rei, for one, isn’t sure how to feel. She cannot know how a conversation of this nature is supposed to go.

Nevertheless, she stays the course and flashes Enji an accommodating smile as they take a seat on the bench in her family’s small garden. The summer heat does not agree with Rei, but her favorite flowers, bell-shaped blossoms the color of sapphires, are in bloom. They bring her comfort, and Rei doesn’t hesitate to tell Enji that these are her favorite to jumpstart the obligatory small talk.

He doesn’t respond in kind.

“I saw your rescue in Hasetsu,” the young man observes, changing the topic. “The way you fortified the building with your ice quirk was impressive, and I understand there were no casualties.”

Rei does not reply. She merely nods in assent, wondering if he really wants to talk about the ins and outs of their careers when marriage is on the table. For the first time, she glances upward and looks at Enji Todoroki. Impressive height, flaming hair, and cerulean eyes speak for themselves, but there’s also a hint of something sweet and smoldering in the night air that’s coming from him. There’s no denying that the rising pro hero is, as the tabloid papers are fond of saying, a hot commodity.

But the blush that dusts Rei’s cheeks isn’t only from physical attraction, nerves, or the thick material of her best dress. There are worries and concerns, curiosities that Rei thinks should be sated. Her thoughts spill from her lips before she can catch them.

“Why me?” she asks, bolder because of the plum wine passed around the dinner table. “You’re Endeavor. Surely, you have people lining up to-”

“Did no one speak to you about this before our meeting?” Enji interrupts.

The grin wilts from Rei’s face. “What do you mean?”

Enji sighs. He stands and steps forward; his figure illuminates, outshining the moon. His glow erupts into a burst of hellfire, and Enji’s arms are engulfed. The sleeves of his fine suit are ruined, but he doesn’t appear to care. Rei is startled, yet she only feels a gentle heat radiating from the star before her. Enji’s command of his quirk is incredible.

“Power like this comes with a cost,” he remarks bluntly.

He turns to face Rei, and the blaze surrounding his arms contracts, burning brighter. When Enji grimaces, her eyes widen with the realization that he is overheating.

Rei can relate.

“With a quirk like this, my body can only withstand the heat for so long. I assume that it is the same for you and your ice.”

The puzzle pieces connect as reality settles on her shoulders. Their pairing isn’t about temperament so much as temperature; their powers are polar opposites that cancel and complement. Enji reaches out to take Rei’s hand, and instinctively, she drops her body temperature to combat his blaze. Frost meets hellfire, steam rises, and the garden is flooded with fury. When the cloud clears, Rei and Enji remain hand-in-hand. No burns. No ice.

But it is neither luck nor good fortune. It is calculated equilibrium, a quirk marriage through and through.

...

She remembers that there were three dates, three opportunities to be seen and photographed at hotspots near his agency and hers. Matching stories were crafted for the hows and whens of their contrived romance. While they dated, the Todoroki family lawyers drafted an airtight prenuptial agreement.

The contract arrived on a Friday evening, Rei recalls, along with a small package that contained an engagement ring worth more than six months of her salary. The advice from her mother was particularly memorable.

...

“Answer him,” her mother’s voice pleads. “The sooner, the better. Remember your family is counting on y-”

Rei stops the answering machine. She doesn’t need to hear the rest. The older woman’s lecturing tone grates on Rei’s nerves. The pressure from her father is more subtle, but it’s still there. She isn’t sure where the family debt came from; however, she doubts that the schools she attended were inexpensive. Plus, her mother never hesitates to tell her that she should give them more of her paycheck, though the salary of a sidekick is barely enough.

She rolls her weary eyes and tosses the package on the low table of her small living space. Paperwork spills across the surface; the ring box nearly falls to the floor. Rei wants nothing more than to sink into her futon until her next shift rolls around. But Endeavor is not a patient person.

Rei runs through her internal debate once more.

True enough, Enji will be hard-pressed to find a better match than Rei, not for the ends he has in mind—a child with a combination of their quirks. Likewise, Rei knows that she will never rise as high as him on the hero billboard chart. It’s not that she doesn’t want to make a difference, but her countenance is naturally understated. Rei would like to live a quiet life, helping others and supporting her family.

And someday, she’d like to have children too.

Yet, the possibility of a loveless marriage is a difficult pill to swallow, especially since the concept of romance is nebulous in Rei’s mind. Her parents swear that love can take root and grow with time, and Enji is nothing if not dedicated to his goals. Moreover, Rei is not so naive as to pretend that a comfortable life with a steady income isn’t attractive in and of itself.

One last glance at his profile cements her answer. She doesn’t revel in bargaining for a better future as she slips on the engagement ring and signs her name on the dotted line of the prenuptial agreement. Rei calls her parents to share the news and phones Enji to tell him she’s accepted.

As she lies down on her futon to rest, Rei swears that she will plant a garden at their first home, filled with flowers to admire and founded on promises worth keeping. She imagines pretty blooms decorating a harmonious house alongside the pitter-patter of little feet which grow into the large shoes Enji wants filled. Rei consoles herself: if she does a good job of bringing up the next generation of Todorokis, her children will have the luxury of choosing love instead of a contract.

...

Rei admits that hanging up her hero costume was an easy thing to do after the marriage. It was even easier to watch her hardened muscles soften into feminine curves as life took root in her belly. Her parents were proud; Enji was satisfied. Any lingering doubts were pushed aside by the demands of motherhood.

And when Touya’s quirk proved disappointing, Rei tried harder to fulfill her side of the bargain. She can scarcely remember a time in her twenties when she was not waiting for her child’s quirk to manifest or swallowing prenatal vitamins over an anxious lump in her throat.

Fuyumi was born on a crisp December morning eleven months after Enji declared Touya unsuitable for further training. Like clockwork, Natsuo was on the way after their sweet daughter failed to manifest a fire quirk before she turned four. Then, Rei cannot forget how Enji became impatient. Natsuo had not reached his second birthday when her husband decided that he was also a failure. As Rei thinks back on the arrival of her last child, hindsight’s perfect vision highlights chilling insight.

...

“It’s a boy!”

Strong cries rebound off the walls of the delivery room. Rei breathes a sigh of relief as her body shudders from the efforts of her labor. At the end of her bed, the hospital staff congratulate her on another healthy baby as they pass the newborn to his mother. The comforting feeling of an infant pressed against Rei’s chest will never grow old, and she savors this moment with Shouto, mumbling words of love as she holds him. Deep down, Rei realizes that her fourth pregnancy was hard, and secretly, she dreads what her husband will think if this child also has a head full of snow-white hair.

Enji often tells her that he knew the other children were failures the moment he laid eyes on them. On this subject, husband and wife will never agree, but Rei is content that he leaves their upbringing to her. She’s done her best to temper Touya’s attitude, bolster Fuyumi’s confidence, and keep Natsuo laughing.

Rei glances down at the fresh face of her newborn son and is perplexed by the contradiction she sees between his halves. Trembling fingers weave through his hair. Fine white and crimson strands part down the middle. Yet, Shouto’s hair is not his most striking feature. A pair of mismatched eyes blink up at Rei. One is bright turquoise, and the other is a somber gray.

The contrast is uncanny.

“Heterochromia iridum,” the doctor pronounces as if on cue. “That explains his eyes. Usually, it’s a benign condition, nothing to worry about. Considering his hair, I’d say it’s all genetic, possibly related to his quirk.”

Through a blissful haze of oxytocin, Rei registers Enji’s hand on her shoulder. He laughs in an abrasive chuckle that overtakes Shouto’s cries.

“Finally,” he exclaims, “a masterpiece.”

If the doctor and nurses think Enji’s behavior is untoward, they keep the observation to themselves. Rei is too exhausted to fight the relief she feels. She allows her husband to take the newborn baby from her arms instead of insisting that she nurse Shouto straight away as she did with her other children.

“You did well this time,” he mutters.

Rei smiles wearily at the compliment, but it does not sit as well as she believed it would.

...

In retrospect, Rei understands that there was no singular moment that caused the trouble which followed. Rather, it was a collection of compromises that seemed, at the time, to be for the best. Rei gathers the rest of her photographs. Carefully, she thumbs through the small stack and is reminded of all the seeds she and Enji planted in their garden.

Undoubtedly, her children are her greatest love, and she tucks the loose photos in her purse for safekeeping, holding their cheerful likenesses close and the good memories closer. Looking around, Rei realizes that she’s finished packing—all except the vase of Japanese gentians sitting on the windowsill.

Rei prepared for this. She spoke at length with her therapist about the baggage she intends to take into the next phase of her life. Some of it is essential. Never again will she let herself slip so far as to harm someone she cherishes. No more will she suffer the company of people more concerned with ends than means. But when it comes to Enji, Rei is of two minds, torn between the past and the present. Scarred and repentant, he is not the person he once was.

Neither is she.

A brisk knock on the door stirs Rei from her reverie. She turns to address the nurse and is happy to find a familiar face.

“Your discharge papers are ready, and your cab is here, Mrs. Todoroki,” he says cheerfully, already taking her bags. “Are you sure you don’t want your family to escort you home?”

Rei shakes her head.

“They offered, but I want to do this by myself.”

“Fair enough.” The nurse shrugs.

He takes a step toward the windowsill and reaches to collect the flowers when Rei makes her decision. With a gentle expression but a firm palm tilted upward, she halts his kind gesture.

“The flowers stay,” Rei says confidently. “I don’t have room for them anymore.”

It’s a short walk from her old room to the hospital’s front door, but the journey took Rei over a decade to complete. She slips into the back of the cab and passes the driver a slip of paper with the name and address of her new accommodations—a small, refurbished apartment with a low table, comfortable futon, and no answering machine. It's a perfect place for someone starting over.

Rei knows that if she turns around for a last look, she will see Japanese gentians standing guard on the windowsill, but she lets this opportunity pass. As the cab speeds away, Rei commits herself to the good habit of not looking back.

“That’s a nice address, Miss. Where are you headed to?” the driver asks.

It’s been a long time since Rei was called anything other than Mrs. Todoroki. Caught in the small thrill, she doesn’t correct him. She’s grateful for the crowded city’s veil of anonymity and, within it, her second chance.

“Home,” she answers honestly, feeling freer than she has in decades.

#bnha #todoroki rei #todoroki enji #endeavor #todoroki shouto #todoroki family #todofamzine #trigger warning for implied/referenced canonical child and spousal abuse

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vegetalass · 4 years

Text

RDR2 Boys at an Amusement Park

For @viperfizz... Thank you for the suggestion, I loved writing this one!!

Arthur

An amusement park just means a county fair to him. Ain’t no way he’s going to Six Flags or Great America

Okay, that’s a lie, he’d probably go if you begged him to but he wouldn’t be much fun

Total “buy a soda, sit down, and watch everyone else have all the fun” type of guy (but is that really fun?)

You try to take a picture with one of those people in costume and he looks miserable

That being said, he would have fun at a county fair!

He likes that they have animal shows, local business booths, and simpler rides and games

He does his best to try everything but probably gets tired after a couple hours

Spends most of his time after that in the petting zoo or trying all the free samples from food booths

The gang makes him hold all of their stuff… He didn’t win most of it, but he’s carrying around all of Sadie’s prizes, Tilly’s cotton candy bucket and Dutch’s jacket, as well as everything else

Poor guy

S u n s e t F e r r i s W h e e l P i c t u r e s

John

Gets stopped by security on the way in for something stupid like trying to hide a water bottle in his pants

Doesn’t care much for rides but will go on them just because he doesn’t want to waste his ticket

He doesn’t mind the haunted house rides, though, despite usually having to go by himself or with Arthur

If he’s not on a ride, he’s walking around and nobody can ever find him

Abigail makes him take Jack on all the kiddy rides and lowkey he’s not that mad about it because they’re actually pretty fun and it means he doesn’t have to bother with doing anything else

Jack is happy because John gets them a bunch of popcorn and fried food to share after, too

Literally awful at all of the mini games

Challenges Arthur to one of those High Striker strength tests and loses

He’s problematic because he 100% would go to Seaworld

Any souvenir he buys is probably just candy

Definitely falls asleep on the way home

Charles

Funnel cake and candy apple enthusiast

If the park is crowded, he’s the only one who’s ever able to find a place to sit

Probably doesn’t go on many of the scary rides

He’s down for water rides and the pirate swing, though

And laser tag if they have it

Can beat anyone’s ass at bumper cars

If it’s Charles and Arthur against anyone, they better hope that they go easy

Also probably pretty good at most of the mini games, too

He’s the one walking home with a giant plushie he got from playing Skee-Ball (Sadie and Karen have one, too)

The only souvenir he buys is a keychain with his name on it

The gang probably clowns him for it smh

Everyone is too tired at the end of the day so he has to drive home

Honestly, just take him to a boardwalk where he can sit on the beach

Micah

A n n o y i n g

Goes on the scariest ride just so he can brag about being fearless

Also probably buys one of those shirts that’s like “I Survived The Ass Crusher Roller Coaster”

Will try to force you to go with him even if you cry

His favorite type of ride are those old, wooden coasters just because they’re rickety and scary (like him)

Big fan of the gross amusement park food because he’s nasty

Likes all that stuff like fried Oreos, spiral potatoes, and Texas donuts.

Scares kids… probably has to tell at least three different families he wasn’t trying to creep on them and that he’s at the park with his friends

He’s being honest, but the whole gang is like “Uh, we don’t claim him”

Spends like an hour in the gift shop only to buy nothing

Almost gets left behind for it

Hosea

Spends too much time looking at a map of the park and trying to plan out what everyone should do

The gang’s all left by the time he’s finished thinking about it

His favorite amusement park snack is a chocolate-dipped, vanilla ice cream cone

Probably ends up eating like five of them over the course of one day

His reasoning is that he’s “on vacation”

Most likely to throw up if he goes on a ride that goes upside down

His amusement park outfit consists of a straw hat, Hawaiian shirt, khakis, and sandals

Lowkey everyone is embarrassed to be around him dressed like that

Forgets his sunscreen and comes home burnt to a crisp

And when it heals, he has a sandal tan

Has to do a headcount both before and after they go to the park just to make sure he hasn’t lost anyone

“I’m Hosea”

Dutch

Did someone say carnival? No? Yes you did

Likes the merry-go-round and swing rides because he’s a child

The only one to go on the wooden roller coasters with Micah

Honestly, actually the only one to go on rides with Micah

Buys shitty cocktails from the one beach-theme stand at the park and thinks he’s classy for it (even though they’re just margaritas with crazy straws)

Will buy a sweatshirt with the amusement park’s logo on it and wear it the entire time he’s there

It’s either that or a Hawaiian shirt with pineapples on it

He also buys any and all photos of the gang on rides even if they’re $15 each

Probably the guy who wears his hat and sunglasses on Splash Mountain just to pose while Hosea, Arthur, and John are all screaming behind him

Makes a stranger take a photo of the group at the end of the day that doesn’t even fit everyone in the screen and ends up being blurry

“If lost, return to Hosea”

Kieran

Amusement park TRASH

He can and will have fun on anything

One second he’s on a ride with upside down turns and loops, and the next he’s on teacups, and then straight back to drop tower after that

If the amusement park is large, he probably has a game plan of how to do the most in one single day

100% buys dippin’ dots, popcorn and an extra large, souvenir slushee cup with a bendy straw that he uses for the rest of the year

Goes nuts if there’s an arcade section and wins just about a million tickets

Probably doesn’t even cash them in for prizes either and gives them all away

If at Disney, he makes everyone stay for the parade

And yes, he’s wearing Mickey Mouse ears and a lanyard with pins on it

Probably buys a snow globe as a souvenir

Please go with him

Javier

He’s the one who brings lunch from home just so he doesn’t have to buy expensive carnival food

He ends up having to share most of it with the gang

Is the only one who can successfully sneak things past security

Catch him walking in with a sandwich, ten bottles of water, and an entire pack of granola bars

His favorite ride is always the gondola ride that takes you across the park in the air

He likes the drop tower, too

Like Dutch, he also poses for pictures on rides

The only one who isn’t embarrassed to take photos with the mascots

Arthur has about a thousand photos of him with a bunch of random characters

Also the only one who doesn’t forget sunscreen

The gang has to beg him to share his

He isn’t horrible at mini games, but he’s better at some of them than others

For example, terrible at the water gun squirting, but good at ring toss

He always gets at least one prize, even if it’s small

#red dead redemption 2 #red dead redemption 2 headcanons #rdr2 headcanons #rdr2 #arthur morgan #most of my childhood memories are at amusement parks so i had soooo much fun with this #obviously not all of these are amusement parks but the idea was there!!#most of this has happened to me irl LMAO #anyway thank you for the suggestion!!

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fatesdeepdive · 3 years

Text

Entry 6: Dicklips has a Point

Chapter 5: Mother

After a few days in Hoshido, Corrin is finally getting used to the massive emotional baggage that is her backstory. Mikoto invites Corrin to sit on the Hoshidan throne, which is infused with the magic of the First Dragons and destroys magic that alters the body or mind. Mikoto hopes that it will allow Corrin to regain her memories. Before Corrin can sit on the throne and become king of the Westeros or whatever, Mikoto’s strategist Yukimura enters. He looks like a nerd, but I suppose that’s better than being a steampunk MCR cover band dropout like Iago.

The Hoshidan siblings enter and Mikoto tells Corrin that they’re having a ceremony to quash spy rumors and formally reintroduce Corrin into the family. We’re properly introduced to Corrin’s other brother, Takumi. He’s assigned to show Corrin around town and is grumpy about it, because his defining character trait is being a dick. As Takumi and the princesses leave, Ryoma muses that he feels uneasy and predicts that something bad will happen soon.

The gang tours a Hoshidan marketplace. It’s so vibrant, and colorful, and full of life. I haven’t been talking much about this game’s music because I’m not a music guy, but I love the upbeat theme they use for this scene. It feels like something out of Okami and matches Hoshido’s idealized feudal Japan aesthetic perfectly.

Corrin points out that Shirasagi is way better than the Nohrian fort she was held prisoner in for years. Takumi rants that he doesn’t trust Corrin, saying Just don’t get too comfortable…SISTER. I know he’s supposed to come across as a dick, but he has a point. Corrin’s an enemy soldier who invaded Hoshido and killed a dozen people less than a week ago. It doesn’t matter that they share DNA, Corrin should be treated with suspicion.

Takumi also acts suspicious to Azura and says she can’t call him by his first name, which is dumb. What’s she supposed to do, call him Dicklips? Corrin points out that Dicklips is being an idiot and Dicklips tells her to shut up. And really, he is being an idiot. Either hate Corrin for growing up in Nohr, or hate Azura for having Nohrian DNA. Either nature matters, or nurture matters. You can’t have it both ways.

Then again, Azura and Corrin will totally join Nohr and try to destroy Hoshido if we chose the conquest path, so maybe Dicklips has a point.

Corrin tells Sakura that she’s friends with a girl around Sakura’s age, presumably Elise. If the coin flip had gone the other way and I was playing as boy Corrin, Sakura would have asked if Elise is Corrin’s girlfriend. And that’s ridiculous. Can you imagine, Corrin dating their teenage sister? That’s messed up. Good thing that isn’t a thing that happens in this game.

We go to the plaza for the festival. Side note, all shots of Corrin and Mikoto in the festival are positioned so that Corrin’s face is covered by something, like a man wearing an oversized hat, for instance. This is because Corrin is customizable and that means the game can’t show their face. They can show the clearly male body model, but not their face. Awakening had Robin wear a hood to get around this problem, but who needs fashion choices when you can just censor the main character’s face like it’s Austin Powers’s mojo.

While Corrin’s standing next to Mikoto, a weird ghost man wearing a hood walks to the front of the crowd and holds out his arm. Red smoke starts coming off Ganglari and an eye opens up on its hilt, because it is very clearly a cursed sword. Ganglari flies over to the man and he stabs it into the ground, creating a massive purple explosion ball. The sword explodes and Mikoto jumps in front of Corrin to shield her from the shrapnel. As she dies, Mikoto asks Corrin if she’s okay.

Fire Emblem has a lot of dead parent scenes, and I honestly think this is the best. Marcella Lentz-Pope’s scream when Mikoto dies is phenomenal. Mikoto begging Corrin to be alright and dying with a smile on her face is beautiful.

Ryoma cuts down the hooded man but his cloak just falls to the ground, leaving no body. Corrin screams, her hair glowing and her eyes white, physically holding back the pain as waves of energy burst from her body. In a moment, Corrin is gone. In her place is a dragon.

I really like Corrin’s dragon form. It looks so inhuman, more like a machine than a traditional dragon. It really gets across that Corrin has completely lost any semblance of humanity she had as she falls into this pit of despair.

The level proper starts up as an army of dark mages and mercenaries storm into the ruined plaza. Their leader is the ghostly man from before. Interestingly, he’s a swordmaster, a Hoshidan exclusive class that he shares with Ryoma. This level adds Sakura and Azura to our team and gives Corrin an absolutely monstrous boost to her stats, fitting for her rage dragon form.

Sakura

Corrin’s shy, gentle Hoshidan younger sister. She’s a Shrine Maiden (Cleric) and wields healing staves. Her personal skill lowers the damage taken by nearby allies. Her design is fine; I don’t really have any thoughts on it. She seems to be going for this “cute shy healer” personality, which isn’t bad, but Fire Emblem has done it a dozen times before.

Azura

Azura is our Dancer...I mean, Songstress. She sucks at fighting, but allows other units to attack twice, which is really helpful in battle. Her personal skill heals nearby allies at the start of their turns. Her design, despite its bright colors, does a good job conveying how calm and mysterious she is. Azura is an enigma. She clearly knows more than she lets on, but currently seems content to just follow Corrin around.

All of the mercenaries in this chapter wield special, dragon killing swords, which would be a problem, if Corrin didn’t have as much defense as the rest of the party put together. This chapter boils down to letting dragon Corrin smash everyone while Sakura, Azura, and Kaze provide support. Ryoma attempts to take on the ghost man, but is defeated. Then Corrin fucking stomps his translucent ass and saves the day.

Corrin continues rampaging and Azura begins singing LITAA. Her necklace, the one from the title screen, starts glowing. Ryoma runs in to protect Azura, but Azura blasts him away with a pillar of water, which is a thing that she can do apparently.

Dragon Corrin freaks out at the music and slashes Azura across the chest. Azura keeps singing and Corrin attempts to strangle her to death. Azura tells Corrin, Kill me if you want, but do it as yourself, which is a fantastic line that shakes Corrin out of her madness.

Corrin turns back into a human and has a flashback of Garon’s murdering Sumeragi and kidnapping her. Garon says You are my child now and grabs baby Corrin, which is so creepy its comical.

Corrin apologizes to Azura, saying she’s disgusted with herself. Ryoma explains that both royal families have dragon blood, the Nohrians from the Dusk Dragon and the Hoshidans from the Dawn Dragon. Corrin looks out over the destroyed town, a town full of innocent people destroyed by Nohr.

Ryoma points out that, because Garon gave Corrin an evil bomb sword, everything must have been his plan. Cool plan, by the way. Let’s see if I have it straight:

1: Give Corrin a bomb sword.

2: Have her commit an act of war.

3: Have Hans try to murder Corrin.

4: Hope he fails.

5: Hope the Hoshidans bring Corrin to their Queen, instead of imprisoning her for being an enemy soldier.

6: Have ghost soldiers invade Hoshido and take the sword from Corrin.

6: Cursed sword explodes, killing Mikoto and destroying her mind control barrier.

I mean, sure, there are probably simpler ways to kill Mikoto, ways that don’t involve praying that Hans fucks up and fails to kill Corrin. Garon could have, I don’t know, had the ghost soldiers kill Mikoto. Maybe their existence is tied to Ganglari, but that’s never actually stated, and the fact that they stick around and kill people after Ganglari explodes makes that questionable.

You know how, at the end of Naruto, Kishimoto had the villains reveal that they were behind every bad thing that happened in the series, and how it didn’t make sense and was dumb and convoluted? I’m getting Naruto vibes from this chapter.

Takumi blames Corrin for Mikoto’s death. And I mean, he has a point. Corrin’s the one who brought the clearly cursed sword her war criminal father gave her with her. Azura tells Takumi that it’s fine if he doesn’t trust her, but it's wrong for him to distrust Corrin, because Corrin is his blood. And that’s fucking stupid. Fire Emblem is filled with characters with evil relatives. Soren, Guinivere, Edelgard, Robin, the list goes on. Shit, there are evil blood relatives within this game.

Corrin suggests leaving and Yukimura tells her that Mikoto wouldn’t have wanted that and that Mikoyo knew she would die soon. He also mentions that there may be darker forces than Garon at work. Yukimura also points us towards a statue destroyed in the blast, a statue containing Yato, a diving golden sword that is said to be the key to peace. Yato flies up and over to Corrin.

Kaze runs in and reports a massive Nohrian force assembles at the border and the family marches off to war, with Ryoma declaring that he will not show any mercy. Corrin decides to follow Ryoma, in hopes of stopping the war. Azura tells Corrin to calm down, because getting into a fight could cause her to lose control and turn into a dragon again. Spoiler alert, this is literally the only chapter where Corrin loses control, because screw interesting characterization.

Azura gives Corrin her necklace, which turns out to be a dragonstone. Dragonstones and manaketes, people who can turn into dragons, are not new to Fire Emblem. Manaketes are normally uncomfortably young girls. Corrin is the first and currently the only manakete main lord. What’s more, Corrin is unique in their ability to wield both swords and dragonstones. It fits with the duality motif.

The necklace allows Corrin to control her dragon form, which is a bit of a disappointment. Corrin losing control and destroying stuff in this animalistic rage was really interesting characterization that is never seen after this chapter.

Azura decides to follow Corrin, because Corrin makes her feel safe. Apparently.

This chapter was really, really, good. Mikoto’s death was heartbreaking and Corrin going apeshit was some really strong character work. I forgot how absolutely terrifying Corrin’s transformation scene is. That said, this chapter hammers the final nail in the coffin for this story being morally grey. There is absolutely no reason to side with Nohr after this chapter, except for loyalty to the Nohrian royals.

At the start of the next chapter, we’ll choose our side in this war. And, not to tip my hand, but I don’t exactly think it’ll be a hard choice.

#fe #fire emblem #fe fates #fe 14 #fe14 #fire emblem 14 #fire emblem fates #corrin fe #ganglari #takumi fe #ryoma fe #azura fe #hoshido #sakura fe

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Star Trek Villains Who Actually Had a Point

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This article contains spoilers for various parts of the Star Trek franchise.

Last fall, airing just a few weeks apart, both Star Trek and Star Wars debuted season premieres of new streaming TV episodes in which the heroes of each show had to fight a giant, legless worm-monster. In Star Trek: Discovery’s “That Hope Is You Part 1,” it was the deadly Tranceworm, while The Mandalorian’s “Chapter 9: The Marshall” had the murderous Krayt Dragon. The differences between the Final Frontier and the Faraway Galaxy could not have been made clearer by these dueling beasts: in Mando, the plot involved killing the monster by blowing up its guts from the inside, while in Disco, Book taught Michael Burnham how to make friends with it.

The Trek universe deals with the concept of evil a little differently than many of its famous genre competitors. There is no Lex Luthor of the Federation. Palpatine doesn’t haunt the planet Vulcan. The Klingons have no concept of “the devil.” (At least in The Original Series.) This isn’t to say Trek doesn’t have some very memorable Big Bads, it’s just that most of the time those villains tend to have some kind of sympathetic backstory. Even in the J.J. Abrams films!

So, with that in mind, here’s a look at seven Star Trek villains who maybe weren’t all bad, and kind of, even in a twisted way, had a point…

Harry Mudd

In Star Trek: The Original Series, Harry Mudd was presented as a straight-up con-man, a dude who seemed to be okay with profiting from prostitution (in “Mudd’s Women”) and was also down with marooning the entire crew of the Enterprise on a random planet (in “I, Mudd”). He’s not a good person. Not even close. But, he does make a pretty could case against Starfleet’s lack of planning. In the Discovery episode “Choose Your Pain,” Mudd accuses Starfleet of starting the war with the Klingons, and, as a result, putting the larger population of the galaxy at risk. “I sure as hell understand why the Klingons pushed back,” Mudd tells Ash Tyler. “Starfleet arrogance. Have you ever bothered to look out of your spaceships down at the little guys below? If you had, you’d realize that there’s a lot more of us down there than there are you up here, and we’re sick and tired of getting caught in your crossfire.”

Seska

At a glance, Seska seems pretty irredeemable. She joins the idealistic Maquis but is secretly a Cardassian spy. Once in the Delta Quadrant, she tries to screw Voyager as much as possible, mostly by hooking up with the Kazon. That said, Seska is also someone caught up in hopelessly sexist, male-dominated power structures and does what she has to do to gain freedom and power. The Cardassian military isn’t exactly enlightened nor kind, so the fact that Seska was recruited into the Obsidian Order in the first place certainly explains her deceptive conditioning. You could argue that Seska could have become a better person once she had Captain Janeway as an ally, but, the truth is, she was still a spy caught behind enemy lines, but suddenly without a government to report back to. So, Seska did what she had to do to survive, even lying to Chakotay about having his child. The thing is, again, outside of Starfleet, Seska is at the mercy of the sexist machinations of the Kazon, so again, she’s kind of using all the tools at her disposal to gain freedom. Had Voyager not gone to the Delta Quadrant, and Seska’s villainy may have been more clear-cut. But, once the reason for her espionage becomes moot, her situation gets more desperate, and, on some level, more understandable.

Charlie Evans

In The Original Series, Kirk loves telling humans with god-like powers where to shove it. In “Where No Man Has Gone Before,” he phasers Gary Mitchell and buries him under a rock. But, in “Charlie X,” when teenager Charlie Evans also gets psionic powers, Kirk does a less-than-a-great job of being a good role model. For most of the episode, Kirk tries to avoid become Charlies’ surrogate parent, and when he does try, it results in an embarrassing overly macho wrestling match featuring those famous pink tights.

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Charlie was a deeply troubled human being, and there was no justification for him harassing the crew and Janice Rand in specific. But, angry, kids like Charlie have to be helped before it gets to this point. Kirk mostly tried to dodge the adult responsibility of teaching Charlie the ropes, and only when some friendly aliens arrived, did everyone breathe a sigh of relief. But, don’t get it twisted, those aliens are basically just social workers, doing the hard work Starfleet is incapable of.

The Borg Queen

Because the origin of the Borg Queen has dubious canonical origins, all we were told in Voyager is that she was assimilated as a child, just like Seven of Nine. As Hugh and Jean-Luc discuss in the Picard episode “The Impossible Box,” basically, everyone assimilated by the Borg, is, on some level, a victim. The Queen was never presented this way in either First Contact or Voyager, but, at one point, writers Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens had pitched a story for Enterprise which would have featured Alice Krige as a Starfleet medical technician who made contact with the Borg.

Because both Alice Krige and Susanna Thompson played the Borg Queen, it’s possible the backstories of each Queen is different and that maybe they aren’t the same character. Either way, assuming the Borg Queen retains some level of autonomy relative to other drones (likely?) then she’s pretty much making the best of a bad situation. In fact, at the point at which you concede the Borg are unstoppable, the Queen’s desire to let Picard retain some degree of his independence as Locutus could scan as a kind of mercy. The Borg Queen actually thinks she and the Borg are making things simpler for everyone. And with both Data and Picard, she tried to make that transition easier and, in her own perverse way, fun too.

Ossyra

Yes, we saw Ossyra feed her nephew to a Trance worm, and we also saw her try to kill literally everyone on the USS Discovery, including Michael Burnham. However, in the middle of all of that, Ossyra did try to actively make peace between the Emerald Chain and the Federation. And, most tellingly, it was her idea. Ossyra also pointed out one of the most hypocritical things about the United Federation of Planets: the fact that Starfleet and its government rely on capitalism without actively acknowledging it. Essentially, Ossyra was saying that the ideals of the Federation are great, but the Federation has all kinds of dirty little secrets it doesn’t want to talk about. In her meeting with Admiral Vance, pretty much everything she said about the Federation was true—and her treaty proposal was fair.

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The only snag: she wouldn’t turn herself over as a war criminal. Considering the fact that the Federation made Mirror Georgiou into a Section 31 agent, despite her war crimes in another universe, this also seems hypocritical. Why not just do the same thing with Ossyra? Tell everyone she’s going to prison for war crimes, but make her a Section 31 agent instead? Missed opportunity!

Khan

Khan was genetically engineered by wacko-a-doodle scientists at the end of the 21st Century. At some point on Earth, he became a “prince” with “power over millions.” But, as Kirk notes in “Space Seed,” there were “no massacres” under Khan’s rule, and described him as the “best of the tyrants.” Kirk’s take on Khan in “Space Seed” is basically that Khan was an ethical megalomaniac. Most of what we see in “Space Seed” backs this up. Khan doesn’t actually want to kill the crew, and stops short of doing it when he thinks he can coerce them instead. His only focus is to gain freedom for himself and his exiled fellow-Augments. In the Kelvin Universe timeline, Khan’s motivations are similar. Into Darkness shows us a version of Khan who, again, is only cooperating with Section 31 because he wants freedom for his people. Sure, he’ll crush some skulls and crash some starships to get to that point, but in his dueling origin stories, Khan is, in both cases interested in freedom for his people, who, are by any definition, totally persecuted by the Federation.

Khan is still a criminal in any century. But, we only really think of him as a villain because he goes insane in between the “Space Seed” and The Wrath of Khan. The Khan of The Wrath is not the same person we met in “Space Seed.” As he tells Chekov, “Admiral Kirk never bothered to check on our progress.” Had Kirk sent a Starfleet ship to drop in on Khan and his “family” every once in awhile this whole thing could have been avoided. In the prime timeline, Khan goes nuts because Ceti Alpha VI explodes and nobody cares. In the Kelvin timeline, Admiral Marcus blackmails him. Considering that Khan is Star Trek’s most famous villain, it’s fascinating that there are a million different ways you can imagine him never getting as bad as he became. In “Space Seed,” he and Kirk basically part as friends.

In “Encounter at Farpoint,” Q accuses humanity of being “a savage child race.” And walks Jean-Luc Picard through the various atrocities committed by humanity, through the 21st Century. Picard kind of shrugs his shoulders and says, “we are what we are and we’re doing the best that we can.” When we talk about the philosophy of Star Trek, we tend to give more weight to Picard’s argument: the idea that by the 24th century, humanity has become much better, in general than it is now. But, the other side of the argument; that there’s a history of unspeakable violence and cruelty baked into the existence of humanity, is given less weight. We don’t really listen to Q when he’s putting humanity on trial, because we can’t see his point of view.

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But, because Q wasn’t a one-off character, and because he said “the trial never ends” in the TNG finale, he’s actually not really a villain at all. Q exists post-morality, as we can imagine it. His notions of ethics are far more complex (or less complex) than we can perceive. Q is one of those great Star Trek characters who is actually beyond reproach simply because we have no frame of reference for his experiences or point of view. In Voyager, we also learned that even among other members of the Q Continuum, Q was kinder, with a more humanitarian approach to what he might call “lesser” lifeforms. If Q is villainous, it’s because of our definitions of villainy. Of every Star Trek antagonist, Q is the best one, for the simple fact that he’s not a a villain at all.

Which Star Trek villains do you think had a point? Let us know in the comments below.

The post Star Trek Villains Who Actually Had a Point appeared first on Den of Geek.

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arlingtonpark · 4 years

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SNK 130 Review

For the first time, thanks to this chapter, SNK is more popular than Domestic Na Kanojo, a manga about a love triangle between a dude and his step-sisters, one of whom is his teacher.

We did it fam. Mission accomplished.

I feel like the scenario where the outside world and Paradis are kept apart with Paradis threatening to rumble the world if there’s any interference is something of an equilibrium point.

They say that nature has a balance to it. A natural rhythm that it follows on its own.

Predators hunt prey, so naturally there are less predators than prey, lest the prey population be wiped out. When predators are too many and prey is too few, the lack of food causes predators to leave the area or die off, which prompts the prey population to rebound.

So there’s a certain point at which things balance out. This is an equilibrium.

Social situations are like that too.

People have desires and preferences, and in a social situation, a dynamic will form that satisfies as much of those desires as possible.

Because the equilibrium point is the state of affairs at which as many people as possible are satisfied, in the long term any disruption to that equilibrium will be corrected.

Not because of magic or anything, but just because it’s the scenario that most people prefer, so the state of affairs will trend towards it over time.

This is a really long way of saying that I think that some variation on the King Fritz scenario is the best outcome everyone can hope for.

Everyone gets to live and go about their lives.

The downside is that there’ll always be an undercurrent of resentment. And, oh yeah, becoming titans and eating children is necessary to make the wall titans work as a threat. That’s bad, but a natural balance isn’t a utopia.

It’s a testament to how much the SNK world sucks that *this* is the outcome that allows the most people to be happy.

Rape, parents eating children, all of it indefinitely.

That’s one of the most frustrating things about this chapter.

Just…what even is the message of this story anymore?

Attack on Titan is a series about freedom and striving for freedom. Eren has embodied that struggle the whole time.

But now?

Eren is a lunatic who’s about to crush the whole world.

The Cringevengers are fighting for freedom, but not their own. Stopping Eren will only open a pathway for the world to retaliate against Paradis for the failed rumbling. Their mission is one of self-destruction.

That’s noble, but it’s looking more and more like the cringevengers are going to lose. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and they don’t really have much personal stake in this anymore.

So I guess we’re heading for an ending where Eren destroys the world.

If that’s the case, then…what’s the message?

Is this a tragedy?

Tragedies are about characters failing to rise above their flaws, but they’re also supposed to be constructive.

Tragedies work when they show the audience that a happy ending could have happened but for the character’s flaws.

Romeo and Juliet could have lived if it weren’t for their feuding families, for example. The story ended sadly, but there was a clear path to a happy ending.

What is the path forward in Attack on Titan?

The Marleyans are shit. They’re racist colonialists out to dominate the world. They coral Eldians into camps, use them as weapons, and want to build a global empire. Their long term motivation is to preserve their global dominance.

Eren is a lunatic. ‘Nuff said.

The Cringevengers have the moral high ground, but…if they win, the Eldians still die. So…go Cringevengers?

Who is the hero of this story right now?

Which path is the right one?

What is even the message anymore?

The answer is that there is none.

The situation is clearly designed to make this outcome inevitable.

The world is going down this bad path because almost everyone has the same flaw: they are willing to kill people for the sake of their own prejudices.

If only a couple of characters had that flaw, this would be fine, but making this flaw so widespread makes it seem that humans in general are like this, and that’s wrong.

Most people are not like this.

I think the fact that humanity has not self-immolated yet speaks for itself.

I don’t know what’s going on in Isayama’s mind, but I wonder if maybe he’s a bit paranoid about tensions between Japan, and China, and the Koreas.

The possible social commentary in SNK is always interesting to think about, but I’m just going to skip over that here.

…

Ugh, I guess I have to talk about the pregnancy now.

So first off, my starting point when thinking about the pregnancy is that whatever happened, it didn’t involve rape.

That’s maybe something we shouldn’t assume, but I don’t think Isayama will cross that line. Having Historia go through that trauma for basically no reason is viscerally disgusting and I trust that Isayama knows that.

Attack on Titan is ostensibly about freedom; being forced to carry a child to term is not that.

Clearly.

So I take it as a given that there was no rape.

Once you do that, thinking about the pregnancy becomes much simpler.

There are really only two possible explanations:

1. That Historia fell in love with a man, decided to have a family…and that Isayama is playing up the possibility of rape for shock value.

Or.

2. The pregnancy is somehow fake.

So which is more believable?

Honestly, I lean towards (1), though I’d prefer it be fake.

Before this chapter came out, I never felt it was likely the pregnancy was fake. There was an aura of suspicion around it, but that doesn’t prove much.

We know the pregnancy was inexplicably advantageous to Zeke, and we know that Eren and Historia were up to something right before Eren disappeared.

Isayama is clearly hiding something, but a fake pregnancy specifically?

I see no reason why it would be that and not, say, a secret romance.

That’s what really scares me though.

Most people can explain why callous depictions of rape are bad. The number of people who can explain why callous depictions of queer people are bad is much smaller.

I ship yumikuri. In fact, it’s one of the few pairs I ship.

So call me biased if you want, but the bottom line is that Ymir explicitly loved Historia, and most people would at least say Historia might have reciprocated. I personally would say she definitely did.

Ymir loved Historia.

She loved her enough to reach out to her and try to save her from her own fate.

Enough to jump from the tower and fight off the titans.

Enough to make Bertolt and Reiner turn back to get her.

Ymir did all this because she loved Historia.

But Isayama, it seems, wrote it into his story that Ymir loved Historia just to move the plot forward.

And once Ymir’s purpose as a character was fulfilled, she was removed from the story and killed off screen.

That’s a really shitty thing to do.

Establishing a queer romance just so the characters have motivation to go from Point A to B and nothing more is fucking low.

It’s cheap as hell.

It’s offensive.

But, I have to point out, not as offensive as a rape victim carrying their child to term.

I think that’s important to keep in mind.

People have written about women’s rights for centuries. Those principles are well established, if not always followed.

Gay rights just aren’t.

Most people can tell you why reducing rape to cheap drama is bad; most people cannot tell you why reducing lesbian romance to a plot device is bad.

(The answer is that they both trivialize their subjects, albeit in slightly different ways.)

I bring this up because I think people underestimate the chances that in-universe Historia is pregnant because she wants to be pregnant.

We can infer from what we know that Historia is pregnant because it’s part of a plan to help Zeke or Paradis, but we can also infer that this is not exactly the case.

It’s not directly established that Historia is pregnant because of Paradis’ or Zeke’s machinations. All we know is that these people were plotting to use her to make babies. We haven’t seen the point where she was roped into those schemes.

So I don’t think it can be discounted that Isayama plans to pair Historia up with a guy, most likely either Eren or Farm boy. Unfortunately.

Gay people don’t have many allies in this world. Unfortunately, that means Isayama is likely to *not* be one of those allies.

SNK’s record of depicting gay relationships speaks for itself.

That was all what I thought before this chapter came out.

I still think that.

So.

Now I guess I have to talk about Historia in this chapter now.

So Historia’s scene opens with her having resigned herself to a future of rape and Eren telling her she’s a human being who has rights.

…

……

I almost can’t bring myself to talk about this.

You know, back when Attack on Titan first become popular, it got a lot of praise for how feminist it was.

It was a post-apocalyptic survival horror show, and it really stood out how many prominent women there were.

Hange, Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Historia, Rico. These people saw real action and had real characters, and a lot of people appreciated that.

Yep.

Good times. Good times.

How did we get here?

What happened?

Historia’s character is all about agency.

She wanted to end her life because she thought she was a burden. In the cavern she was prepared to take on the same burden she’s taking on right now, but she chose to live for herself.

She saved herself from that fate.

She rejected her family’s burden and chose to forge her own path.

Now it’s like that never happened.

She’s back to killing herself for everyone else’s sake, except now she’s also a damsel who needs Eren to save her.

So Eren reveals his plan to her, and she’s totally distraught over it. She tries to reason with him, and Eren just glares at her like she’s Reiner or something.

Finally we get to the most eyebrow raising moment in this exchange: when Historia invokes Ymir to justify opposing Eren.

I think Ymir is supposed to be seen as a tragic figure in Attack on Titan.

She didn’t have to take the fall for those Eldian cultists. They plucked her out of nowhere and randomly decided to worship her. She didn’t ask for any of this trouble.

But regardless, she took the fall for them.

When she got a new lease on life, she chose to live for herself. She’d put herself before everyone else for a change. She’d let no one else’s fate decide her’s.

But it never turned out that way.

I think Ymir’s tragic flaw is that she cares too much for her own good.

She was always going out of her way for others and doing more than she needed to. Helping Connie, helping Historia, helping Reiner and Bertolt.

Her enemies.

Ymir is a good person at heart, and that’s not bad, but according to Attack on Titan’s morality, being “good” to the point of self-sacrifice is bad.

I think one of the morals of Attack on Titan is that if you sacrifice yourself for other people’s sake……you end up sacrificing yourself.

Ymir could have left Reiner and Bertolt to their fates and returned to the walls. She could have lived a happy life with her friends and the girl she loved.

But she didn’t.

She knew that returning to Marley would mean death for her, and guessed what happened?

She did the thing that would likely kill her and she was killed.

Ymir couldn’t help but be a “good girl” and for that she was punished.

Thus endeth the tragedy of Ymir.

Now we come to Historia.

“If I don’t do everything in my power to stop you, I can’t live with my head held high!”

Historia is using Ymir’s words, but she’s actually betraying Ymir right now.

Ymir meant those words in the sense of living for yourself and not others. In the sense of not being self-sacrificial.

As far as Historia is concerned, in her current situation, she only has two options.

Let them rape her for the sake of her people, or let Eren destroy the world.

That’s it.

As far as Historia is concerned, to oppose Eren is to tacitly support the rape option.

So Historia is using Ymir’s words, but really it’s an insult because she’s using them to defend what Ymir would have hated.

Her self-sacrifice.

One thing that’s interesting about Attack on Titan is what it says about standing up for yourself.

In the story, not being self-sacrificial ironically requires you to make sacrifices.

If Ymir had not helped Reiner and Bertolt, they would have been in a lot more trouble with Marley. In a way, if she had not gone with them, she would have been sacrificing them, in the sense that she would have been throwing them under the bus.

When Historia chooses to live for herself in the cavern, she screams about how she’ll happily throw humanity under the bus if it means saving herself.

That’s why she calls herself “the worst girl in history.”

As opposed to Krista, who is a “good girl.”

I think that’s what Isayama is going for here.

Krista is the “good girl” who’ll gladly take a bullet for you.

Historia is the “bad girl” who’ll gladly throw you overboard if it meant she didn’t have to debase herself.

Yeah, Historia later claimed she was in the moment when she said that, but that doesn’t mean much.

When you’re in the heat of the moment, and you’re acting on pure instinct, you’re likelier to reveal parts of yourself you wouldn’t otherwise.

Being in the moment doesn’t mean Historia doesn’t identify with what she said, it means she was speaking her mind with no filter.

In 130, Historia and Eren are superficially at odds with each other, but deep down Historia thinks Eren is right.

She doesn’t want to sacrifice herself, and I’m sure she feels she shouldn’t have to, just on principle.

The only reason she accepts this fate is because she feels she has to.

So when Eren asks Historia to not oppose him, and she refuses, he tells her she has it in her to do it because she’s “the worst girl in history.”

I think Historia is the kind of person who’d throw you under the bus if she knew it’d save what she values most: her friends, yes, but also herself.

But Historia is acting more like Krista, someone who’d throw their life away to save yours.

Eren is saying she needs to start acting like herself again.

He’s trying to remind Historia of who she is and what she used to think was most important to her.

(This scene is *so* misogynistic. I’m going to puke.)

The flashbacks in this chapter were presented as vignettes, so it’s hard to say how Eren’s scene with Historia ended.

One thing that stood out to me though was the clear through line that connected all the various scenes.

The first one is Eren talking to Yelena about Zeke’s plan.

Next scene is Eren and Floch talking about the real plan.

Then it’s Eren and Historia talking about the plan.

Then back to Eren and Floch for Eren’s reveal of what he’s really doing.

Back to Historia as Eren tries to win her over.

Then we cut to Zeke and Eren talking about Mikasa.

Finally, we go back to Historia.

This flow is important because we don’t know much about Eren’s talk with Historia, but I think we can tease out some clues based on what scenes we see when.

Historia is put on the spot. Eren has revealed his plan, and she opposes it. They argue back and forth, and we reach a point where Historia is at a loss for words, and doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Then we inexplicably cut to a conversation between Zeke and Eren.

A conversation about loyalty, affection, and standing by your friends.

The implications for what this hints at are huge.

Eren asks Zeke if Mikasa cares about him so much because of some Ackermann genetics.

Zeke replies there’s no proof of that, and Mikasa probably just loves him.

Finally, Historia speaks, and she asks Eren about getting pregnant.

She doesn’t go to such great lengths for Eren because she’s a slave!

She doesn’t subject herself to this because she’s being coerced!!

It’s because she L O V E S him ! ! !

Fuck this! Fuck me! Fuck everything!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk 130 #snk spoilers #snk chapter 130 #eren jeager #Historia Reiss

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redstarwriting · 5 years

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Dimension Hopper

Avengers x Reader

Request: “Hi!! I was wondering if I could request an imagine about a reader from our universe going to the marvel universe?? And she's super smart and strong but like, a little younger than Peter (15). I'm still not over Endgame so can she be confused when everything is normal and the Tony thing didn't happen, and the avengers are confused about why she is so happy about tony, idk just FLUFF PLEASE😊💖“

Word Count: 1,858

Genre: Fluff, Platonic

Warnings: Endgame spoilers, swearing, run on sentences

A/N: Not gonna lie, I got carried away on this one. I might make a part two to it to show just how close the reader gets with the rest of the Avengers in this specific story, and to show that she’s a strong ass girl as well. I already have ideas for it, and I really enjoyed writing this one. I hope y’all enjoy it as well! I’m working on all the other requests I have right now, so if you sent one in I’ll get to it as soon as I can!

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Saying you felt like your heart was ripped out of your chest was an understatement. You’d just seen Endgame, and while you loved it and honestly had an out of body experience during it, Tony died. No more Iron Man in the MCU. Needless to say, you cried your eyes out. Even though he was a fictional character, he was your role model. You, like him, were very interested in engineering and science and things like that. In fact, you understood a lot of what Tony could do, and you’re only fourteen years old. You keep the fact that you can understand all the complicated engineering things that Tony talks about a secret, of course, considering the technology to actually pull off what he can do doesn’t actually exist in this world. You were working on that though. When you weren’t doing your schoolwork or reading comics or watching Marvel movies, you were out in your garage, working to become this world’s Tony Stark.

Needless to say, as soon as your parents park, you hurry to start working on your projects. You’ve already seen Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and the entire concept of it interested you. Different dimensions, the multiverse, it all was something that seemed to be calling out to you. So, needless to say, you were trying to find a way to travel to other dimensions, only safely. You don’t want to find out what that glitchy thing that happens in Spider-Verse actually feels like. You’re just grateful that your dad happens to own a weapons company, much like another super genius in the universe that you would like to travel to. That’s what allows you to develop and invent all the time. It’s quite convenient, actually. Nevertheless, you’re lost in your work, distracting yourself from your sadness about Tony Stark, and you don’t even realize how much time has passed. It’s a Saturday, and you saw the movie at a one o’clock showing, so you got out of it at around four o’clock, meaning you started working at around five since you went and ate dinner with your parents. Now, it is four in the morning. And you are tired. It’s not the first time you pass out at your crafting table, and it certainly won’t be the last.

Now, you’ve gotten pretty far on the designing and creating of the fancy touch technology that Tony uses in the movies, and you’ve been using it more and more. Laptops and touch screen phones are a thing of the past for you, but you haven’t shared anything you’ve discovered with the world yet. Why, you ask? You’re fourteen. Chances are no one would believe you and they’d probably just say your dad was the one who actually did it, and you’re not about to let the things you designed get credited to someone else, even if he helped create you. With the technology you’ve created though, you can do things that are way beyond thought of on this Earth. And that leads back to the task you have at hand. Dimension hopping. Although you’ve fallen asleep, diagnostics for the machine that will be used to help dimension hop are being run through over and over again. You finished the basics of it, now you just need to find the exact way it will actually work. Lucky for you, a successful way is found. You’re just sleeping when it is. Crazily enough, the program downloaded itself into your watch, and you must have moved around and hit something in your sleep, because you hopped a dimension. The only downside? You were asleep when it happened. So, imagine your shock when you wake up, and everything around you is abandoned. Your machinery and equipment are nowhere to be found. You glance down at your wrist, pulling up information on what the hell is going on from your watch that you designed. “April 28, 2019… but what happened to my lab…?” you mutter, confusion and utter devastation flooding your mind. You think for a second and realize something. What if you’re in a different dimension? You frantically begin typing, trying to figure out what’s happening. Before you can even begin to look at the search results, though, the ceiling behind you gets blasted through. You turn, seeing none other than Iron Man, Tony Stark himself, looking at you. “A kid? You’re the one who caused a surge of energy?” you hear him say, and you just stare at him. “Y-You’re-“

“Rogers, it’s just a kid. She’s not about to harm anyone. She’s not even armed with anything and she literally just woke up… no, believe me Barton, I know what falling asleep while inventing looks like. She’s got it written all over her face. And hair. Yeah, of course you can come in, I already told you she’s harmless.”

Tony steps out of his Iron Suit, looking directly at you, and you literally just stare at him with your mouth wide open. “What’s your name kid?”

“You’re real?! And alive!” you blurt out and Tony just stares at you. “Wha-” You cut Tony off by crushing him in a hug. “Woah! Okay, okay, hey,” he decides to let it happen, but he is pretty confused. Before the embrace is over, Steve Rogers, accompanied by Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton all walk through the door. Through the gigantic hole Tony had previously made in the ceiling flies Thor. You immediately pull back from Tony, and nearly start crying. “Nat’s alive too! Oh my god this is amazing!” You start freaking out, and now they’re all looking at you with a weird expression. “Okay, what’s going on?” Steve asks, approaching you. “You’re not old!”

“No, he’s old, he just looks young,” Tony says, and Steve gives him a look. You laugh, shaking your head. “No I know he’s like 101 years old, but he still looks like 25! He isn’t an old man on the outside!”

“What the hell is going on here, Stark?” Clint asks. “Yes, I am also wondering who this child is and why she is stating that we are all alive when it is obvious that we are all alive,” Thor says. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Tony tells him. “Okay, yeah I can imagine how this is weird but oh my god you guys don’t understand. I watched you guys die and now you’re here and I’m here and you’re all okay and you’re all together again and I’m just so happy you guys are amazing, Tony you’re my literal idol I want to be just like you and I’m so excited I finally get to meet you and I know I’m repeating myself and if this was typed out it would be a huge run on sentence and-”

“Wait, slow down, you watched us die?” Tony interrupts you, concern written all over his face. “Yes! And to be completely honest I have no idea how all of you are alive and I’m totally confused about it... does Thanos exist? Are you guys searching for the infinity stones? ‘Cause if not, you should totally do that before Thanos-”

“How do you know about the stones? And Thanos- who are you?” Tony asks, in obvious disbelief. “Oh, yeah! I forgot that part, my name is (Y/N), I’m fourteen years old, and I already told you I love you, but I love you. Like a lot. Like you inspired me to become an engineer... but seriously, how are you guys alive?”

“Well, we did fight Thanos in Wakanda, but he never got the chance to snap his fingers. Thor cut his head clean off with Stormbreaker and Doctor Strange used the time stone to bring Vision back and Cap and I decided to set aside our differences and start working together again. After a risk that big, it would be better for all of us to work together than be separated but that’s enough about that, you’re fourteen and you’re already an engineer?”

“Oh my god, that’s crazy! Everything I though I knew was a lie what the heck, this is insane! And you’re back together?! This is so great. I’m so happy I designed this watch so I could jump from my dimension to this dimension-”

“Your dimension to this dimension?”

“Yes, my dimension to your dimension.”

“You’re from a different dimension?”

“Yeah! Isn’t that cool! And so far, no glitches and my organs feel fine so I’d like to say this was a success, the only problem is I don’t entirely know how I got here,” you think out-loud, pulling up the hologram like technology that exists in this world already from your watch, beginning to type some things out. “So you invented that watch?” Tony asks, walking over to you to see what you were typing. “Uh-huh… it only took around two and a half months to design the watch itself and integrate the dimensional navigation software, but the technology used in it took me about six months to develop.” You can feel Tony’s eyes on you, but you just keep typing away. “How long did you say you were going to stay here?” you hear Bruce ask, and you shrug. “I didn’t say, but to be honest it looks like I’m stuck here because fun fact, this was somehow activated while I was asleep. I have no idea how to get back to my dimension, so…” you look at Tony, “Do you have a place I could stay until I figure it out?”

“Uh, yeah I do. I kind of want to talk to you about some things. I’ve noticed you don’t have an A.I. I could help you out with that, you’d be amazed at how much simpler it makes things,” Tony says, and your eyes widen. “Really?! I can have my own JARVIS?!”

“Hell yeah you can. Now with this watch, do you think that-“

“I hate to interrupt your science party, but are we just ignoring how she knows so much about us?” Natasha asks. “Oh! The dimension I’m from is hero-less. You guys exist in movies, I’ve seen every major battle you guys have had. Including one that won’t even happen because your timeline is different from the timeline that was created in my dimension,” you explain, not diverting your attention from your watch. “I have them all if you’d want to watch them. The actors look just like you guys, it’s pretty dope,” you inform and they all stare at you in disbelief. “You know, (Y/N), I think we’re gonna be good friends,” Tony tells you, and you smile. If you thought it was crazy that you discovered dimensional traveling, it’s even crazier that you just met not only your idol, but your future best friend. With the things he taught you, you went back to your dimension and released all of your tech, advancing the boring old Earth you knew. You constantly travelled between your dimension and the Avengers’ dimension, and because of Tony you always had a place to stay. You also may have brought Peter Parker to prom. Crazy how that works.

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paulieshore · 4 years

Text

Obey Me / SCM Au Series

Words: 3492

Warnings: None

Characters belong to:

· Voltage: Star Crossed Myth

· Obey Me! – Shall We Date

Mc is Y/N Aka Goldie. I’ve set gender as female, may gender bend if you please. ENJOY! Will try to upload regularly.

Chapter 2: Destiny

It felt as though you were floating for years, endless stars cascaded. Drifting and whirling around you, no pain, no thoughts, nothing.

The view was mesmerising; bright colours of yellow, pink, orange and blues.

Down below you glimpsed another body floating by.

Is that me?

Am I dead?

As you observed yourself, it couldn’t help but be noticed how much skinnier you’d become. How pale and broken your face looked, I really am dead, aren’t I?

“No child, not yet. You are sick, rest…”

“rest….”

“rest…”

The crowned ones’ voice; his tone soothing the anxiety in your mind, pushing you to the edge of blissful slumber.

Slowly you opened your eyes, met with an unfamiliar ceiling. This wasn’t your room, or any room in the House of Lamentation. You couldn’t move your body, eyes just fluttering.

“Y/N, your awake finally.” Simeon’s voice sounds nearby.

You try to lick your dry lips, “Wh-where am I?” in almost a whisper.

“The House of Gods. Its actually here in the human realm, I will explain later” Simeon gently sits next to your unmoving body “rest my friend, you need too.” As he tucks the sides of the blanket beneath.

From the corner of your eyes, you caught that blue haired one, rise from a seat furthest from you and leave.

Who is he?

You don’t know how long you’d been lying there, the only ones you’d seen in the time was Simeon and Luke. Occasionally catching a glance of that quiet one peeping in and out. He never spoke to you, always on looking with such sadness in his eyes.

Until one day, you had most of your strength back, and really needed a pee.

Simeon and Luke hadn’t come by yet, there was no bathroom that you could see inside this strangely well organised room. You sat up and admired everything around. Books, Satan would have a field day in here you thought to yourself. The floor around the bottom of the bed was surrounded by water, like a mote around a castle. Soft browns and blue, the occasional brass vases near the walls filled with books. There was no carpet in this room, but blue tiles, reminded you of the blue haired one. All of it familiar and yet not.

Funny enough as you thought that, he walked in.

“Ah… Your fully awake now, that’s good. Didn’t mean to barge in, I’m sorry” He slightly bows to you.

“I-it’s quite alright, I get the feeling as though this might actually be your room” you nervously laugh.

His eye brow rises slightly, “do you remember?”

A fleeting look of confusion crosses your face, and you shake your head.

“Never mind then, I have some more medicine here for you. Please take this, its probably best if you didn’t touch anything in here or wonder outside of this room.” He gracefully walks over the water surrounding the bed and places the vile of liquids next to you. “We will accommodate you with your own room soon.”

“I, uh, I’m sorry. This may be too much, but I really need to, ya know….” You reach out to stop him from leaving.

“Uh, of course, your human now so it can’t be help. If you can walk then follow me, I will direct you to the lavatory.” Luckily for you he spared you the embarrassment of having to fully state it.

He stayed quiet most of the walk, and waited for you outside the washroom. This place was ginormous, much bigger than the house with the brothers. You stepped out of the washroom, and bowed your head to him “Thank you for waiting, I’m done now.”

“Clearly.” He turns and makes his way back from where you two started from.

…

“I’m sorry but, do we like, know each other?” You try to catch a peak at his face.

He glances down to the right, “No, we don’t. How could we. I am a god; you are a human.”

You stopped in your tracks. “God?”

His pace slowed to a stop and he turned to face you, “Yes, god. I am Huedaut, God of Aquarius.” He says deadpan.

That’s right the crowned one had said so himself; you thought back, “So tell me Mr. God sir-“

“it’s Huedaut, you may just call me that.” Cutting you off and striding back towards the room.

This guy, he’s nearly as bad as Lucifer. You roll your eyes inwards, just as you caught up to Huedaut, you heard other voices approaching.

“Hue, I see your walking Goldie! Hiya Goldie, how ya doing?” The soft brown haired one runs up and pets the top of your head.

“I’m not some kind of pet, don’t pat me like one!” You snap.

“Yikes, this one looks cute and playful but she’s a biter!!” He laughs and hides behind the other one with brown hair and hazel eyes. They were both wearing the same type of uniform, unlike Huedaut’s, their uniforms had black.

The short brown haired one offered his gloved hand, “I’m Dui, God of Gemini, and this playful one hiding here is Ichthys, God of Pisces. Welcome.” His cheeks tinted pink as he dipped his head, shaking your hand.

“Y/N, my name is Y/N, not Goldie.” You firmly shake and glare at the one called Ichthys.

He gives you a mischievous grin, “You’re going to be fun to play with.”

“Why would you want to dirty yourself playing with filth!” Another voice approached.

You turned around and remembered this one, briefly recalling his name was… Scorpy?

“Scorpy, is it?” You ask unsure, gesturing your hand out to shake.

Everyone freezes, Scorpio looks at your offered hand in disgust, Ichthys breaks into a roaring laugh.

“NO, listen here stupid woman. I am a God, God of Scorpio; You dare insult me?!” You felt your body begin to tremble with every word that left his mouth.

“Ha, ha Scorpy, see I told you it would stick” Ichthys holding his gut still laughing.

“I’m going to kill you, you brat!” Scorpio goes to grab Ichthys, missing him.

Ichthys laughs some more and sprints away, Scorpio tailing not too far behind.

“Please don’t think poorly of Scorpio, he is respected among all the gods. Diligent, determined and hardworking, that’s why he’s the Vice Minister of the Department of Punishments.” Dui says with a look of admiration.

Department of what now?

Huedaut gently grabs your shoulder and leads you back to his room, “You need to rest, no more for now.” He opens the door and lightly pushes you in, shutting it once your inside.

What the what….

Demons, Angels, Witches, Strange evil dark dude and now gods… Just when you thought you were getting a grip of reality, things just piled more and more.

Hold on a second, how long have I been here?!?!

Back in Devildom around a table in Diavolo’s castle-

“Y/N is making a slow recovery; the King is adamant she is not to return. He also advises you to send Solomon back to the human world and end this ‘program’ of yours” Simeon sips the tea before him “I’m sorry it has come to this.”

Lucifer shifts in his seat, “who is he to declare anything over anyone here, and advise Diavolo on the things that happen in his kingdom. Kivy is King of the Celestial Realm, not of Devildom!”

A hand is placed on Lucifer’s forearm “Thank you, Lucifer, for your support. However; considering what has transpired a fort night ago, it may not be wise to tempt destiny. The seal that imprisoned the Dark King has been broken, and I suspect the others will feel his presence regaining. Devildom may not be as safe as it once was.” Diavolo rubs his temples in slight annoyance.

“Indeed, darker forces are brewing once again. We can not afford any liabilities at this point.” Barbatos nods his head in agreement, next to Diavolo.

“I told you from the start this would fail, there is a reason why there are three realms now. The old days are long since gone.” Luke barks out.

“Be calm Luke, we should thank Diavolo for the thought. Its not everyday demons wish for a more peaceful path.” Says the one sat between Simeon and Luke.

“Karno, God of Cancer; I thank you for coming all this way. Please do take care of Y/N, she has become quite special to all of us here.” Diavolo slightly bows his head, to the one called Karno.

“It is my job as Vice Minister of Wishes to delegate in political matters, as well as granting wishes to those who are deserving of its reward. It is the least I can do.” Karno bows his head back to the prince. “I have always watched over her growing up, I will continue doing so.”

“I wonder why it is you here and not the Minister, himself…” Lucifer mocks.

Karno smiles kindly “Leon is very busy, and with recent events he is needed elsewhere. I hope we have not offended any of you, as vice minister my presence alone is appropriate. You of all people should know this Lucifer.”

Lucifer said nothing, he stood from his chair, bowed to Diavolo and took his leave.

“I see he has not changed.” Karno says with a sigh. “He may be the avatar of Pride, but if he does not let go of the past, pride will be his demise.”

“Same can be said about Leon though, no?” Luke leans over and whispers to Karno.

Back at the House of Gods –

You were getting acquainted with more of the gods, “Okay so let me get this straight. Department of wishes- grants wishes to humans who wish upon stars, and you guys punish humans?”

“Yes, that’s it, well done Goldie!” Teorus claps his hands and beams his prince charming smile.

Rolling your eyes, “…. and angels are like you, except created as servants to serve the gods?” You looked over to Huedaut.

“Yes, I guess you can say that. Angels deal with the underworld politics and the guarding and passing of mortal souls, reporting back to us with more sensitive priorities. We as gods only intervene on the basis of chaos. In simpler terms, war. When the world is on a brink of unbalanced crisis, too much of one thing isn’t a good thing.” He finishes not looking up from the report he was reading.

You began pinching yourself to triple check you hadn’t fallen asleep again.

Ichthys pats your shoulder “It’s true cutie, you’re not dreaming. I mean you’ve been living with demons for a while now. Some who were previously angels themselves, might I point out; yet you doubt us?” giving you a pouty lip.

“No, no, sorry it’s just, I mean… I’m still taking everything in. I feel way in over my head is all…” You deny with a look of guilt.

“Typical for a mere mortal, nothing but ants beneath our boots. Must be nice to be so air headed, no care in the world” A strong voice rings through the common area following a gust of wind. Entering with it; a tall man with a powerful aura clinging to him like second skin, and a smug yet very alluring face.

“Ah Leon, you’ve returned.” Huedaut closes his report and makes his way to him.

You’d been awake for 3 days, and were introduced to some of the gods. There was a total of 13 that you were told about, 12 who came here sometimes from the Celestial realm to work. So far you had met 6 (now 7), one (Scorpio) who made it obviously clear he didn’t like you at all. The ‘crowned one’ you called, was the King. King Kivy of the Heavens aka Paradise aka Celestial Realm.

Leon’s piercing stare sent shivers down your spine; you didn’t even need to be within his reach. You could feel his power, this one must be very strong, his stare alone reminded you that of a predator.

“Goldie, this is the Minister of the Department of Wishes, Leon, God of Leo!” Teorus taunts a bow towards his superior.

“If you’ve all had your fun toying with this thing here, why don’t you go and start doing your jobs.” He then snaps his fingers and a chew toy appears. “Here you go, that should keep you entertained.” Tossing the toy in front of you before turning and leaving with Huedaut.

You were fuming!

They may be gods, but the audacity of some of them, not even the boys back in devildom treated you with such manner. Made you wonder if some of these lot were the real demons.

“Relax Y/N, Leon’s always like this. Not many can challenge him, next to the king. Leon is one of the strongest in the heavens.” Ichthys picks up the toy at your feet.

“Wow, and look at you! Looks like you know how to use my name!” Didn’t mean to come off as rude, but the tone of your voice was less then amused.

Ichthys rubbed the back of his neck, “Well next to Zyg, Leon, and Scorpy your moody face is quite scary too, ha-ha.” Waving the toy at you.

Back in the House of Lamentation –

Lucifer had announced at the dining table that you would not be returning to devildom in the near future.

“WHAT!?! Y/N is like family now, they can’t just take her from us!” Mammon practically throwing a tantrum over the news.

Every-one had such sullen looks on their faces, no one even touching their food. Not even Beel.

“I disagree and agree” Satan declares, “considering what’s happened it is for her best interest. However, should she not be allowed the choice herself. It’s her life, where have they been the last year for her? We’ve been watching out for her, kind of feels like they’re saying were not good no, strong enough to protect her.” Slamming his hand down on the table, shaking everything on it.

“Yea! She’s our Y/N, who do those bastards think they are!” Mammon pacing back and forth before abruptly stopping to join the bashing.

“Idiot, Gods obviously” Asmo frowns at Mammon. “Duh!”

Lucifer stands from his seat, “As much as I agree with you, its hard for me to admit this but…” He swallows hard.

Everyone looks at Lucifer more than curious.

What he says next stuns everyone.

“We failed to protect her again, how many times do we have to fall in order to get one thing right. I like Y/N, I really do, but if Diavolo voices his resolve… Then that’s it.” He closes his eyes, remembering you the morning of the trip.

Dashing about your room, which was an utter disaster. Like many things when it came to you, but your eyes shined bright, twinkling. Your goofy smile popping up in his mind every time he entered the home, never before did he have such thoughts. Since you came to them, you brought with you; chaos. In a good sense, a feeling of belonging, of home. These late days without you around felt lonely, something none of them have ever really felt, or dared to admit anyways.

Belphie, “He’s back though, and he’ll be wanting her dead. Face it, it took everything, everyone had to subdue him then…. This time he’s had time, he’s had a lot of time. They’ll be a war no doubt.” He looked to Beel with worry.

“She has no idea, does she?” Beel looked down at his untouched food in thought. He had no appetite of late.

“N-no, but I’m sure they’ll tell her. They’ll t-tell her everything…. W-what do you th-think she’ll think of us then…” Levi choked out, looking to Lucifer for answers.

“I don’t know.” He turned around and gripped the back of the chair. “I really… don’t… know.”

Back at the House of Gods –

You were sitting in a room that they cleared for you. It was made very clear that you would be staying here until told otherwise. You asked how the others were doing, not to your surprise they didn’t say anything. Only telling you they were demons, filthiest of the filth. You didn’t like them bashing your friends, they were kind enough to you, you had no quarrel with them. So, you stopped bringing them up, you didn’t want them saying hurtful things about them.

It made you believe in Diavolo’s exchange program now more then ever. You didn’t want to judge anybody by what they were, but rather by who they were. How they treated you and others, judge them by the actions, not their race. Always choose kindness, you reminded yourself.

Sitting on the bed, playing with the D.D.D in your hand. It had stopped working since leaving Devildom, not that you expected it to work. How you wished you could contact them; see how they were doing.

Just then, a knock at your door.

You got up from the bed and cracked open the door, “Yes?”

There was another one outside your door, wearing a wishing department uniform, with a red tie. This one looked awfully familiar, you’d definitely seen him before.. Or perhaps they all just seemed similar in appearance, maybe its the uniforms.

“Hi Y/N I do apologise for bothering you. My names Karno, I’m the Vice Minister of Wishes. May I come in?” He gave you a kind smile, his eyes reflecting compassion.

Opening the door wider “Of course, please do come in. Its nice to meet you sir, um is everything alright?”

“That’s what I’ve come to find out and you do not need to be so formal with me.” He enters the room with soft steps “You see you made a wish; I’ve come to grant it.” striding across the room, claiming the seat at the desk. He crossed one leg over the other and knitted his hands together on his lap.

You were watching him carefully, you must know this one from some where.. He just seems… Ah shit he said something, focus…

“A wish? I don’t recall making a wish.” scratching your head.

He gave a belly filled chuckle, “You did just moments ago” he pulled out a folder from within his suit “usually normal humans wish upon a star and we receive their wishes. However, you are a reincarnated goddess, so simply wishing is enough for myself and Leon to hear.”

You remembered the dark one calling you a ‘former goddess’ but from what you were aware, you were Lilith’s reincarnated soul – descendent thing- and she was an angel. Right…

Karna could see the suspicion growing on your face, “Look I understand this must all be very confusing, in time you will find all the answers you’re looking for. For now, you wish to contact the demon brothers no?”

Your face lit up, nodding your head up and down vigorously, “Yes, oh yes I do, please!”

“Unfortunately, I cannot grant that, the king forbids it. Alternatively, you may write them a letter and I can have Simeon deliver it on your behalf.” Karno says sympathetically. “Though I must warn you, even if they write back. There are certain powers around this mansion that forbid anything demonic in, so there is no guarantee. Also; if it’s not too bold of me to say, what makes you think they care?” Karno wanted to test you. He had found it rather peculiar that Diavolo stated you were special to all of them, he wanted to know why.

Was it your connection to Lillith? How much did you know exactly? What all did they tell you, or didn’t tell you. Or did they simply care about you, as you are now. Did they care like the way he cared about you; you’d seemed to have grown up a lot since he’d last saw you.

You had a feeling bringing them up would bring some sort of an opinion, but you didn’t care. You had grown fond of each of them, even if they didn’t write back, you WERE going to write to them.

“I don’t care if they write back or not is what I want to say. Truthfully, all I care about, is letting them know I’m alright. Letting them know I’m thinking about them. Reminding Mammon to stay out of trouble and that he’s not an idiot, telling Asmo it doesn’t matter what he wears, he always looks good. Telling Levi to stock enough snacks, and telling him I’m sorry I can’t aid him on his gaming adventures…” Tears began to fall “Making sure Beel is eating as much as he needs, that Belphie has the comfiest pillows while he naps. Satan isn’t disturbed while he reads and studies and Lucifer isn’t trying to kill them for driving him nuts.” By now you had a steady stream of tears.

Karno stood up from the chair and handed you a tissue “Very well, I will go and pass your message along…”

“I didn’t write anything?” You looked at him through red eyes.

He snapped his fingers and behold, a letter with word for word writing on it “There’s no need to, please rest. I will personally deliver this for you.” He bowed and left you alone.

As he closed the door, the corner of his lips curled up.

So that’s why, he thought…

To Be Continued…

CH1 - Ch3 - Ch4 - Ch5

Thank you for your time, and support! I hope you enjoy the series.

As always, like, comment, reblog and follow - you know the saying xx

check out my other materials:

MasterList

45 notes · View notes

autisticmight · 4 years

Note

how does someone who knows little-to-nothing about it get into sanders sides? i saw thomas' vines, and i've been sort of tangentially aware that the facets of his personality that he portrayed in the vines have since become characters, but there's a whole bunch of new ones??? what the fuck is a janus???? HELP. tldr where do i find The Lore? plz obi wan ur my only hope

it’s very simple!!! you hyperfixate on thomas sanders’s content in, like, 2016? and then he uploads a video called ‘my true identity’, which is a bit weird, but you love those vine characters. then he uploads more, and it becomes a trend. apparently people in the comments are shipping the prince guy and anxiety. you rewatch the new year’s video an embarrassing amount of times with your dog

i had a whole paragraph here about why i like the series, and why i dropped it and then picked it up again, but it was just a block of lowercase text and i guess it’s kind of hard to read

anyway, here’s the playlist of every episode, but i’m going to put a summary of the series and individual episodes under the readmore, while also ranking them, because i am Special Interesting and i like being useful. and i guess i’m gonna write using. like. actual grammar. if the readmore doesn’t work, then. have fun reading my infodump

here we go

Sanders Sides: A Summary

Fictional Version Of Thomas Sanders (known as Character!Thomas, and will be simply referred to as ‘Thomas’ henceforth) has ‘Sides’, which are parts of his personality that have been exaggerated and personified. It’s a nice little series set in some kind of semi-urban fantasy world, but mostly in Thomas’s living room. It mostly uses the idea of ‘Sides’ to represent the inner schemata of an individual. In simpler terms, you know when you’re conflicted, and you end up arguing with yourself? Yeah, it’s that.

Also, don’t read the comments, unless you want to disregard the care I’ve taken to not put spoilers in the Season 1 Summaries.

Season 1

I’d like to split this into parts, because there are a lot of things in earlier episodes that conflict with later characterisation. However, it’s also fun to watch them, and then rewatch them after some of the longer episodes, and feel your heart shatter!

This half of Season 1 was made solely by Thomas. It tends to be a bit more scattered, and can be watched out of chronological order, or completely skipped. Yes, I’m telling you that you can skip literally all of this section, if you want to. However, these are also the easiest videos to watch, and offer a taste of Silly Sanders Sides Hijinks without the emotional commitment.

My True Identity (6 min) - Thomas delves into the three aspects of his personality; his Logic (Teacher Guy), his Creativity (the Prince, also called Princey), and his Morality (Dad Guy who is Not Thomas’s Dad). At this point, the characters are far more similar to their Vine counterparts, and the characterisation clashes with later episodes. (3/5 - A nice way to see if you’ll enjoy the humour of this series)

Way Too Adult (5 min) - Thomas is asked by his family to help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Dad Guy pops up and discusses with Thomas how he can better learn to take care of himself. Features a talking stove, which is part of the reason why I classify this series as urban fantasy, and the start of a running joke. (2/5 - A fun, albeit rare, look into Dad Guy being responsible. I actually prefer this to My True Identity, but ranks lower due to conflicting with later S1 characterisation.)

Taking On Anxiety with Lilly Singh (6 min) - Thomas hopes and dreams to get rid of his Anxiety, who is a sassy, snide guy, sitting on the staircase. Princey, as the embodiment of Thomas’s hopes and dreams, is... Usurped by an imaginary version of Lilly Singh, who helps teach Thomas how to cope with feeling anxious. (3/5 - Introduces some secret tools that will help us later. The tools are Thomas being able to travel to various places in his head, and also Anxiety.)

A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!! (7 min) - The first video wherein you realise that this is A Thing. Thomas welcomes in the new year, hoping that 2017 will be better than 2016. Logic shows up to help him figure out some New Year’s Resolutions, accompanied by Dad Guy and Princey. Anxiety joins in to point out that Thomas has rarely, if ever, kept to his resolutions before. Through the first musical number of the series, the Core Sides and Thomas figure out simple, achievable resolutions that Thomas can use to improve his wellbeing. (4/5 - Unintentional foreshadowing in the form of a bop.)

The Dark Side of Disney (6 min) - Princey, not for the last time, enthuses about the wonders of Disney. However, Anxiety also appears, insisting that Disney is not as wholesome as it first appears. They argue and bond, despite the fact that Thomas still hasn’t redacted his statement regarding his hopes and dreams to get rid of his Anxiety. (2/5 - I have strong feelings on the meaning of ‘Beauty and the Beast’ and ‘The Little Mermaid’, both of which are shrugged off in favour of the tryhard-edgy ‘blegh stockholm syndrome’ and ‘blegh change yourself to get your man’. Still, it’s a fan-favourite for a reason, and the endcard always makes me smile.)

I’m in a Disney Show!! (6 min) - Princey enthuses about the wonders of Disney, because Thomas is in a Disney show. He talks about what happened, while the Sides (mostly Logic) suggest clickbait titles in order to entice people to watch the video. (2/5 - L*gan P*ul is mentioned, as he was also in the episode.)

The Mind vs. The Heart (6 min) - Thomas finds himself split between following his mind, Logic, or his heart, Morality. Features onesies, and looks further into the characters of Logic and Dad Guy. (3/5 - Pretty calm and peaceful, to be honest. It’s nice.)

Then we move onto the second part of Season 1. This is when Thomas’s friend, Joan, began to offer their input into scriptwriting and directing. They’re most of the reason why Sanders Sides is an actual series, instead of being silly skit characters in short vlogs. From here on in, episodes become more complex, and work on an actual timeline.

Alone on Valentines Day (9 min) - Thomas is rather upset that he will be, as the title says, alone on Valentine’s Day. The Sides try to help him figure out how to get a date with an imaginary version of his friend Valerie, but each of them has a weirder way of going about it than the last. (4/5 - Far more cohesive than previous videos, but Thomas still wasn’t fully out as gay, so his hypothetical date is a woman. Yes, I took points off because of that. Yes, I’m about to erase the 3/5 to make it 4/5 because Valerie is a delight.)

Losing My Motivation (9 min) - When Thomas finds himself procrastinating, Logic takes it upon himself to find out which side is causing it. In order to get into a deductive mindset, Logic dresses up as Sherlock, while Dad Guy joins in as Watson. Once the case is solved, an important piece of information is revealed: the Sides have names. (Logic’s name is revealed) (3/5 - It’s just a fun little video, and I can’t keep giving every video from here on in 4/5, or that’ll ruin the whole thingy.)

Sanders Sides Q&A (9 min) - Exactly what it sounds like. There’s not much else to say. (2/5 - I love it, but it’s not really necessary to understand the whole series. It’s just extra characterisation.)

Am I Original? (12 min) - Thomas finds himself in a creative rut, trying to think of a completely original idea. Princey requests full creative control - “full-on Daydream Mode” - in order to rapidly consider and enact many different concepts, all while trying to make something that has never been seen before. (Princey’s name is revealed) (4/5 - Important characterisation for Princey. I originally rated it lower due to Thomas’s inability to rap, but upon rewatching, i found that the ending dialogue between Princey and Thomas was worth two points, rather than the single one I gave it previously.)

My Negative Thinking (13 min) - When Thomas messes up in an audition, his ego - Princey - is out of commission and being cared for by Dad Guy. Therefore, the only Sides available to aid him in this situation are Logic and Anxiety, neither of whom can help Thomas in the way he wants to. Anxiety is worsening Thomas’s mental state, so Logan proposes a debate in order to combat those cognitive distortions. (4/5 - A fan-favourite episode which offers a lot of insight into Logic and Anxiety as characters. It is useful as a tool for identifying cognitive distortions in real life, which may help with the individual’s mental health. Even though it introduces another running joke, it’s educational and fun, and it develops their relationship in a positive manner, I just don’t particularly enjoy it.)

Growing Up (15 min) - It’s Thomas’s birthday! He’s in his late twenties, and he’s still a kid at heart. He hasn’t done his laundry, he's silly and immature, and he feels like he isn’t at the point that he needs to be in his life. Therefore, all the Sides, except for Dad Guy, who ironically embodies Thomas’s inner child, work on trying to make him more mature. (Morality’s name is revealed) (3/5 - Features the concept of Voltron Shirt. I love this episode, but there is a noticeable change in audio quality at the end which affects how enjoyable it is.)

Making Some Changes (15 min) - Back in Thomas’s living room, and in opposition to his view from the last episode, Anxiety is worried about how life changes in unpredictable ways, and especially about losing contact with Thomas’s friends. Therefore, in order to keep Thomas’s friends permanently by his side, Princey gets them all to shapeshift. (3/5 - It might be skippable, but it’s just really, really fun.)

Becoming A Cartoon (10 min) - Adding to the whole urban fantasy thing, it turns out that animators can literally, physically turn people into cartoons. Thomas wants to be a cartoon. Princey catches Anxiety in his arms and says “everybody loves the villain,” and I think that’s all you need to know. (1/5 - Co-stars B*tch H*rtman, known for Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, and Being A Bigot, who did the character designs for the Sides, if not the actual animation. And the designs are kind of. Eh. Just watch some fanmade animatics.)

Accepting Anxiety (23 min) - Part 1: Excepting Anxiety (10 min), and Part 2: Can Anxiety Be Good? (14 min) - HOO. If the musical number or the animation didn’t clue you in, this video confirms that Sanders Sides is A Thing. Remember how Thomas hoped and dreamt to get rid of his Anxiety? Remember how he never redacted that statement, or even expressed a bit of remorse? Well, here, his wishes come true, and he doesn’t feel bad about it at all! That’s because he has absolutely no shame, caution, or fear of death. Yeah, he’s a mess. Therefore, the Sides make him take them on a magical quest to Anxiety’s Room, in order to un-mess-ify Thomas. (Anxiety’s name is revealed) (5/5 - The team really went above and beyond with this one. Like. Hoo. That’s it. Just. Hoo. Hoo. I’m an owl.)

And that’s Season 1!!! I’m going to add Season 2 in a reblog, because this has taken roughly three hours and it’s been really difficult to not spoil their names!!! which i did anyway because their names are all easier to type from muscle memory!!!

#helen stfu #asks #sanders sides tag da lee lay da lee loo #Anonymous

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panickypeachboy · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

TAGGED BY: @sternenteile, #1 Geno fan. TAGGING: Do it.

MY MUSE IS: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ Nope. Most people just call ZPiW the game with anime girls wielding guns. Outside of me, not much fanart is produced of the peach boy, as it’s well, mostly the girls. Miiverse revealed that the ratio is a bit more even but still, peeps really like them girl designs (designed by a female artist) ]

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ i mean ?? i’ve met and seen many people who have/had crushes on geno so ??????? but i don’t think it’s like. that. ghfskjhgsg??? ]

is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ Personally, I have to say yes. Momotaro is strong as frick because in game, you’re supposed to level towns to “clean them up”. And this is in addition to the traditional Momotaro folktale that, a Momotaro is a strong child who can lift. However, most just look to Snow White as the strongest cuz she dented metal bare handed...and well is the “face” of the game.]

are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ This game is better known for having girls...with guns. But I wouldn’t say he’s really *that* underrated, considering the basic character is just that...basic. ]

were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO. [ Well, my theory is that he just stumbled upon the fight between survivors and zombies so...kind of yes? Momotaro was one to actually gather folks to storm the castle as they say, because it seems before hand the other heroes were just minding their own business. So, being the one who talks the most (ironically) and the one that the game follows...yeah he’s relevant.]

were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Sadly so, in the sense that I wished the devs would’ve allowed for branching plots depending on which character you choose. This is including the fact that the game is purposely trying to emulate how old-school games were bare bones in characterizations and plot.]

are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ Just another folklore hero in the world of Wonderland...a place chock FULL of fairy tales and folktales. Though he might’ve garnered a reputation of being destructive after ZPiW... ]

how’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / neutral. [ ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? — Ehhhh...I think I make do with what I got from the teeny breadcrumbs of canon I got...however, many folks commented that Momotaro looks WAAAAAAY tougher than what I make him out to be so...I guess that’s a fail for following canon strictly on my part. .w.;; If I truly went 1:1, things may be bland...or not...I mean there’s as many subversions to the traditional heroes as there are well, the typical shounen stuff.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS. — Is Momotaro an OC at this point? Probably. But hey, if you guys want a lad who’s adorable but tough...you could look elsewhere...or you can find that in Momo! I wanted to try to represent some stuff of special needs, but I’m still working out the kinks...but the kid’s loyal, and a very good cook at that! He definitely needs a confidence booster, but could that be part of his charm? Maybe. But hey, I think y’all might really like the idea I got for him, and mainly Smash! Like, have you ever wondered what goes on in that mansion? ...well yes, but what about those who aren’t fighters? Or even assist trophies! That’s where the smash verse comes in! Take a peek into the (tough) lives of Waddle Dees and the peach boy, along with other creatures not suitable for Smash! They’re just as handy for making sure the place is well run and fed! If someone isn’t cleaning and cooking to maintain 70+ fighters, and 20+ assist trophies...who is?

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?). — This is a character from a game whose designers may appreciate the female figure a bit too much. I always have a tough time recommending this game to others, and hell, I’m terrible at playing it myself. Hell, the fact that most of the characters are minors is just a...”why do you design them like this Bo.mi” thing. Most do seem to think highly of those designs though, as that’s the main aspect of the game I keep hearing in my searches. Now, I’ve received a good amount of concerns over the years that Momotaro not speaking proper English is either racist or babyish...or both. Is my take too depressing? There are often times I think yes, and feel unbelievable shame over it despite others going hard on the angst train.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? — Well uh, I believe I was charmed by his rugged but baby appearance in the game..and it just so happen at the time that I was part of a budding rp group. Despite the theme being mostly “OUENDAN”, that was the start of me shoving Momotaro into every fuckin’ thing because he’s cute as shit and obscure muses can be fun too! It was also probably relaxing for me because gosh dang back then I was scared of getting something wrong about someone canon with more lore...and I am still scared about that to this day.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? — Studying about Japanese culture, learning the language...the fact that I’ve been rping him for almost 10 years (read like 8-9 at this point)...I do wonder if I should stop rping him...and then I keep hearing that people only want characters only in as fighters, fighters are the only important thing about smash and that grows my weird spite and just continue this “backstage” plot of Smash. Yes, getting a franchise in as a fighter is a VERY high commemoration but, I think it’s just as equally amazing when a franchise gets in as an assist trophy or even a spirit/trophy! So yeah it’s petty and I better find some other motivation soon because it’s exhausting.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

do you think you give your character justice? yes / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ Ahaha....I’m starting to give up on that idea at this point, as several noted that Momotaro isn’t as timid in canon as I write him. But I do try to keep those boneheaded traits of the peach boy in my portrayal. ]

do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ It’s a must for Momotaro, whose game is a tribute to how the old timey arcade games didn’t have much to their plots. Otherwise, I would think that playing him would end up pretty dry..whether I play him closer to canon or not. ]

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ ...I should write more. ]

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO [ Stupidly yes. Been playing him for 8 years so it’s a hard habit to break. ]

are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ I mean, if I wasn’t confident enough I would’ve dropped him...though I have thought about that several times. There be times where I run into some sort of writer’s block due to his meek (and traumatized) nature, and because of how he speaks, it’s scary. Am I pushing his issues too much...? Or just HIM in general...? ]

are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. [ Again, writer block happens when some muses don’t click, or personally I don’t want to interact with someone. And then when I do want to write with someone, I fear that my simpler (children’s book) ways of writing would be a turn off. I don’t want to end up babbling too long that there’s too much detail but I shudder at seeing single lines in response to long prose. ]

are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / sorta. [ Yeaaaah i get stressed and cry at lot at confrontation and just...anxiety in general. Been trying to keep that off the dash though, as I’m sure peeps got their own troubles already. DMs are good to have y’all. ]

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? — I do my best to take crits when I get them but sometimes it just haunts me because I have mixed feelings on being told that the way he speaks is racist or childish. But hey, if you got more advice on how to write trauma and special needs, I’m all ears! Particularly because I’m writing from my own experience in my life and research. ...Dad isn’t that superb at speaking English and that's where I got the Momo speak.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? — Yes please...but at this point I kinda have sadly accepted that’s just gonna be rare because he’s obscure.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — as my take on Momotaro is very meek, I’d like to see how one would take on a more confident/more canon true take on him. But that’s a pipe dream. Coruse the only headcanon I will never take (that I fear the fandom will have due to perverted nature) is that he’s just a fuckin harem protag wanting to get into pants. To that I say: NO. In canon he doesn’t give a fuck about the fact his teammates are girls...or even acknowledges that they're girls. It’s the time to survive, not boogie on beds...or at a tree.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? — I anticipate that wholly because again, I have gotten comments that my take on Momotaro has not properly prepared them to witness the sheer destruction and toughness that is canontaro. Honestly I’d be hyped to see more takes...except for the harem route ones. Am I gonna jinx myself for saying it that much?

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — I probably would be sad but understanding...I mean it’s not the first time that someone has taken deep offense at Momo and me, mainly in the rp sense. I would hope they would at least go find something that makes them happy.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? — Yep yep. Or well stealth editing too, that helps.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? — Ehhhh....maybe...? I mean most think I’m chill but, I’m a ball of anxiety at times. But, I am also one who reaches out because, gosh dang...a lot of peeps are nervous beans and that’s okay. So...it’s a sort of, yeah.

#meme time #long post #sternenteile

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peachymess · 5 years

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If attack on titan was in the Harry Potter universe, what subject do you think the veterans would have been teaching at Hogwarts (like all the veterans including Nile, Hannes, pyxis and such) and what houses would 104 been in? It’s okay if you don’t like au’s like that then you don’t have to reply, hope you have a good day :) !

Hi, anon! Finally, I’ll be answering your Harry Potter AU ask! I knowit’s been ages and ages – I’m really sorry about that. To pay you back for thelong wait, I’ve done headshots of the entire 104 plus some of the vets for thisAU. Please accept my apology-drawings, haha. Art posts for vets here, and 104 here.

For the vets, I assigned each of them one of the HP subjects, and I’m reallyhappy with where they ended up. I can see them all in these positions, and Ihope you can too; if you’d like a deeper explanation as to why some of themended up with what they did, just shoot me an ask about the specific charactersin question and I’ll be happy to explain.

Erwin (Slytherin): Defence against the dark arts

Levi(Hufflepuff): Potions

Hanji(Ravenclaw): Transfiguration

Moblit(Hufflepuff): Muggle studies

Mike(Gyrffindor): Herbology

Nanaba(Gryffindor): Flight class

Nile(Ravenclaw): History of Magic

Pyxis(Slytherin): Astonomy

Hannes(Hufflepuff): Groundskeeper

Petra(Hufflepuff): Divination

Oluo(Slytherin): Charms

Eld(Gryffindor): Arithmancy

Gunther(Gryffindor): Apparition lessons

Ness(Hufflepuff): Care of Magical creatures

Now, forthe houses, and where to put everyone: I have to talk about how I view the HPhouses first…

To start off, I’m not the biggest fan of dividing young, impressionable kidsinto groups based on personal traits to begin with. I feel like it’s likely toshape – and restrict – how the kids view themselves and the people around them.I feel like someone who’s more like, say, a Ravenclaw, at eleven years old,might develop into more of a Gryffindor during their years of schooling (atwhich case, it would be inappropriate for their development, to put them intothe house they not yet fit into, just like moving them mid-school would be). Notto mention it can restrict what social interactions they allow themselves; onegroup villainizing another, or avoiding befriending those they won’t share acommon room with, etc. Even more, I feel like saying people are EITHER brave ORsmart OR driven OR loyal, is doing the complexity of personalities a massivedisservice. If I had a dollar for every person who’ve ever told me they areboth one house and another, or a little bit of all, I’d be… well, richer than Iam now. So. My point is, I’m not a fan of saying someone is one thing, as it can sound likeI’m saying they’re NOT the other three things – which simply isn’t true. HarryPotter houses is something a lot of people have a lot of emotional investmentin. As such, I’m sure some of you will disagree with where I personally see theSNK characters. That’s ok. For most of these, I struggled to settle on onehouse, and I’d probably be swayed to change my mind on many of them, ifpresented with the right arguments. However, I have set some guidelines formyself, and I’ve landed on something, following these:

I’veseparated the HP houses into two categories: action-driven (active) houses andREaction-driven (passive) houses: Slytherin and Ravenclaw are action-driven:while Gryffindor and Hufflepuff are REaction-driven.

Beingaction-driven, in this context, means you actively seek out something. ForSlytherins, this is a personal goal. Be it a wish to become the most powerfulwizard alive, the richest, or for your moral compass to be universallyacknowledged and followed. If your path is dictated by where you want to endup, your path is unfolding through the actions you take to get there. This isSlytherin. Ravenclaws, similarly, are first and foremost seekers of truth andknowledge. They spend their time actively improving their insight into whateverfield they find most worthwhile; their path is created from the steps they taketo improve on this knowledge.

Being REaction-driven,on the other hand – in this context – means that you are mainly passive,waiting for something to occurs that requires you to react; you respond to anenvironment, rather than cause an environment to occur. For Gryffindor, whosemain trait is their unwavering drive to withstand and overcome even thescariest, most personally endangering obstacles, this means they’ll REact tosaid obstacles by tackling them head-on, because it is the right thing to do(even when it’s also the hardest thing to do). Hufflepuffs, similarly, willrespond to an environment by letting their loyalty tell them how they shouldrespond, when situations occur.

Using theseguidelines, I’ve ended up placing the characters like this:

Eren(Slytherin): Let’s start this off by getting one thing straight: being aSlytherin and being driven by a personal goal, does not have to be a bad thing!By placing Eren in Slytherin, I am in no way saying he’s a bad guy or that Idon’t support him. No. Eren is here, because, after thinking about it, I can’tdeny that his drive, is an intense, active personal goal of making things rightin the world. Sure, his goal of making the world titan-free (and seeing thefree world later), has taken him down a dangerous path that requires him to bebrave – but he’s not driven by bravery as much as an idea that he just “has todo this, danger level being whatever it is”, for his goal to be reached. He’snot wrestling his fears as much as he is wrestling the danger of not winningwhat needs to be won to advance towards his goal. Lucky for us, his personalgoal, is to give all of us the justice and freedom that is our birthright. Eren’sstrength, is his relentless strength to pursue this freedom.Armin(Gryffindor): I’ve got two names for you to suck on: Hermione and Neville.These characters have taught us that there is no such thing as being “toointelligent” or “too scared” to have the brave heart of a lion. Armin is veryintelligent, and he’s also very human in the face of danger. He also has a dreamto explore (which could make you advocate for Ravenclaw), but more thananything, his dream remains a backseat driver to his rising to the occasionsthat occur; saving humanity before pursuing his own dream. He uses hisintelligence to very skullfully aid in the brave battles he end up in. His maindrive, is wrestling his personal demons, and rising to the occasions. He’sbrave – so incredibly brave – and he’s a Gryffindor.Mikasa(Hufflepuff): A friend of mine said “anywhere but Hufflepuff” when we talkedabout Mikasa. But I beg to differ. Mikasa is strong, and she’s proud. But she’sloyalty bound most of all. She has amazing skills that take her far in battles– but they are not the product of her facing her fears and being brave, butrather the product of her being willing to give it her all to defend what she’semotionally bound to. She’s peak Hufflepuff, because she’s got the skills toback up what she’s loyal to. Honestly, I’d say EMA are all the peaks of theirhouses. Jean(Gryffindor): I’d got Slytherin, had it not been for the fact that once hispersonal desires had to face off against the world’s need for him to rise to adifferent standard, he answered. Jean puts on a good “bad guy slytherin”persona, but his actions say something else. He’s very human, and he’s a slowgrower (as I’ve talked about before), but he DOES grow – and it’s in responseto the world’s need for him to, not for his own personal goals and gains. He’sa Gryffindor.Marco(Ravenclaw): To be honest, we just need someone in Ravenclaw at this point. Ibased this off of Isayama’s HS AU; Marco and Armin are both smart guys, butwhile Armin is shown to be a geek (more devoted to his interests outside ofschool; not being defined by his cleverness), Marco is a “nerd”; school smart –defined by his intellect. I’d say this is better shown in the AU than in canon,but then again, Marco didn’t have much time to blossom. That’s why I’ve chosento go with the context Isa has given us, and say he’s someone who strives toalways be better, learn more, gain knowledge – be it how to fight better, howto strategize more, or how to read situations.Sasha(Hufflepuff): Sasha very nearly ended up as a Gryffindor for me. I held backpartially because I love the idea of her and Connie being Huff-buds. And atfirst I felt like I was cheating; after all, the ways she saved that child andtook out a titan on foot, is still one of the most amazing moments of thisstory for me. Like if you cry every time… But I had to take a step back andremind myself that Hufflepuff is not BELOW Gryffindor. Hufflepuff is not alower tier than any of the other houses. It’s supposed to be your main note.And for Sasha, what we see her do most of, is being a very quirky, goofy, funnygirl who enjoys the simple things (good times with friends, food, etc.). To me,that’s a Hufflepuff. She’s sweet, and she’s fierce. Precisely like a Huff who’sthrown into a world where her loyalty is called upon a lot.Connie(Hufflepuff): He’s in the same boat as Sasha; he’s brave in the face of danger,and he’s the Lion’s heart worthy, but more than that he’s a simple guy who’soften shown to fit snugly into the simpler times-life. Who said Hufflepuffscan’t also be brave when they’re called upon by something or someone they careabout?Reiner(Gryffindor): To be honest, I’m the least sure about the BRA trio. Partiallyfor the sake of mirroring the EMA trio, I decided to put them all in differenthouses. But also, I partially wanted to emphasis that they all have differentpersonalities. Lumping them all into Slytherin and calling it a day, woulddoing them and their individual causes a big disservice. And at the end of theday, while Reiner was the left-over after I placed Annie and Bert, I do thinkReiner’s struggles warrant recognition in the Gryffindor way. After all, nobodyworked harder to get a spot amongst the shifters than him, he took on the roleas Marcel 2.0 after BRA were thoroughly lost, he kept going even after theintense mental struggles he suffered from that point onward, he genuinely triedto be just be best tm - even though he’sstruggled to find out what IS the best. I’d say he’s got a drive to mimic aSlytherin, but on the other hand, he became very passive inside the walls, oncehe found a comfortable place to play pretend, so I’d say he’s more a re-actor.Annie(Slytherin): Since the beginning, we’ve seen that Annie does not put much stockin loyalty for the sake of loyalty. Sure, she can stick to a side/idea once shedecides on it, but how she decides on it, is driven by her own interest. Shejust wants to be ok, and to have a better life for herself. She’s not exactlyshooting for the stars with this goal, but it’s her final compass none theless. Again, she’s not bad; wanting to wathc out for yourself is not inherentlyevil – it just is what it is.Bertolt (Hufflepuff): Bertolt is loyal to the side he’s picked, preciselybecause it’s what he’s decided to stick with. Loyalty for the sake of loyalty.He says he’s not sure what’s the right thing anymore, but he sticks with Marleybecause that was his entry point. He’s also – while powerful – more of areactor; doing the work he knows he has to do, once it’s possible or asked ofhim. He’s a Hufflepuff to me.Ymir(Slytherin): Ymir’s selfishness is a front she puts on. It’s aself-preservation mechanism that kicks in, understandably, after everythingthat’s happened to her. She’s not a Slytherin because of this. She’s aSlytherin, because at the end of the day, she’s made the choice to follow thatfront’s example, and put herself first for once. Perhaps she’s a convertedGryffindor. All I know is, she’s chosen to put herself and her interest(s)first, and she’s actively sought out these benefits – Slytherin by fomula – butthe more I think about it, the more I want to replace her in Gryffindor.Historia(Slytherin): Historia may appear to be a selfless, brave Gryffindor, and sure,she’s in dangerous situations, like everyone else in 104 – but she’s therebecause that’s her goal. Her personal goal is to appear selfless. To me, herentire arc was about accepting and beginning to love and blossom as herSlytherin self. A Gryffindor wouldn’t say they didn’t care if someone was indanger in their stead (Armin standing in for her), nor would a Gryffindor telltitan Ymir to tear down the tower to save herself, dooming three other people (Connie,Bertolt, Reiner) to death in the process. Historia is not a selfless personfirst and foremost – and while I personally don’t appreciate her, I’m not goingto say she’s in Slytherin for being selfish. No; she’s there because her drivehas been facing inwards, and that’s ok. She’s had little choice but TO have herown back. And she was a child, and can thus not really be blamed for ending uptrying to tend to herself in a harmful way (attempting to die in a heroic wayfor how that will appear outward). But she is, in the end, a character drivenby self-preservation and (the search for) self-acceptance. And that puts her inSlytherin for me.

… And that’sit, anon. I hope you found this interesting and/or entertaining. I put quite abit of effort into this, and I hope something positive will come from it ^^

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