#i apologize for the theatrics but really it has been a lot lately. today especially | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anthonyjlockwood · 3 years

Note

running fingers through hair + Alex/Luke/Willie 💜

thank you for the prompt, anon!! 💜

here it is on ao3!!

Luke is having a terrible, terrible day.

He doesn’t really know why it’s been so bad, either. But it started off with yet another fight with his parents at breakfast, and then he’d forgotten his song book at the house and had to go back for it, which led to another argument about why he was “wasting away his Saturday playing with that band of his.”

On his bike ride over to the studio, it started to rain, and the cutoff tank he was wearing was decidedly not waterproof, so halfway through the quarter-mile ride, he was drenched.

He just wants to forget about his parents, and the rain, and play music with his friends.

But even that idea is soured when he walks into the studio. Willie’s there alone; it doesn’t look like Alex, Bobby or Reggie have arrived yet.

Luke stops in the doorway once he sees Willie, suddenly feeling very hot despite the cold rain that’s making his shoulders shake.

He doesn’t like to use the word “jealous”, ever. He also doesn’t like to use the word “avoiding”. But over the past few weeks-- months, really, if Luke’s honest about it-- he’s gotten this really strange feeling in his stomach when he’s around Willie. And when it’s Willie and Alex together, that’s almost worse.

He’s not sure if it’s the whole “third wheel” concept that bothers him; he doesn’t think so, because Reggie and Bobby have been together for months, too, and it’s never bothered Luke to be around them.

But being around Willie and Alex together is… strange. It almost feels like Luke’s missing something, or missing out on something. Like when he forgets his favorite hot dog topping combo and only realizes once he starts eating that while the food is still good, it's not right.

Luke shakes off any awkwardness along with the last drops of rain, and throws Willie a smile that he hopes looks effortless.

“Hey.”

Willie looks up at his voice and smiles back immediately. He’s one of those people who just can’t not smile, and his happiness is like an airborne case of the measles. Luke catches it like a frisbee and can’t help throwing it back.

Something inside him relaxes a little, despite the lingering stress of the fight and the tension of the cold. His muscles ease with a shiver. “Where is everyone?”

“Alex and Reggie are inside with Ray, helping him set up the new T.V. he bought. Bobby’s not here yet… He said he’s gonna be late,” he lowers his voice to a whisper. “I think he and Reggie had a fight or something.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of that going around,” Luke sighs.

Willie gives him an understanding smile. “Emily again?”

When Luke doesn’t respond, he tries again. “Why don’t you come sit?”

This, at least, Luke can do; he doesn’t want to talk about his terrible day and the terrible things he and his mom said to each other. But he finds that he does want to sit next to Willie, and let his friend’s positive, easygoing nature cover him up like an umbrella, shielding him from the negative thoughts running through his head.

He walks over to the couch, kicks off his shoes, and collapses on it dramatically.

Willie doesn’t indulge his theatrics, though. He just shuffles closer to Luke on the couch and says, “Y’know, I snuck out to come here. Caleb didn’t want me leaving the house.”

Willie’s uncle Caleb-- his legal guardian-- was a buzzkill on a good day. On worse days, he’d try to hold Willie hostage in his room… Luke didn’t know if it was a control thing, or what, but if Willie had to sneak out for this, he knows it must not have been a good day.

“Caleb’s been acting really weird lately,” he goes on.

If there’s one thing Luke can say about Willie, it’s that he has a knack for filling silences. He knows when other people around him are feeling uncomfortable, or if they just don’t want to talk at all, and he fills in the silence effortlessly.

Luke’s no introvert, really, but on his bad days when his mind is in the neutral gear and no matter how hard he hits the gas, he doesn’t go anywhere… sometimes he likes it when Willie takes over the driver’s seat.

“What’d he do?”

“He just… he’s so… controlling,” Willie says at length. “Needs to know where I am all the time, who I’m with. He asked me if I’m dating anyone new.”

Willie turns his head away to roll his eyes, but Luke notices. He’s heard about Caleb’s problems with Willie’s dating life-- all the questions, second-guessing Willie’s choices…

“And then, this morning, he asked me if I’ve ever thought about getting a haircut!” Willie complains. “Like, what the hell is that?! Could you even picture me with shorter hair?!”

The image of Willie with short hair has Luke laughing before he can stop himself. He claps his hand over his mouth-- Willie’s complaining about Caleb; the last thing he needs is to think Luke’s laughing at him-- but Willie sees anyway, and groans.

“This is not funny!”

Luke snickers. “Sorry, Rapunzel.”

Before he can realize what he’s doing, he leans forward.

Willie stiffens at his approach, but he doesn’t shy away as Luke gently brushes a hand through his hair. It feels soft and smooth under his fingertips, like a blanket. He relaxes under Luke’s touch and closes his eyes, going still as a statue.

Holy shit, Luke thinks. I’m petting my best friend’s boyfriend’s hair. What the--

He yanks his hand back, and the movement causes Willie to startle slightly. He looks up at Luke with wide, worried eyes. “What happened?! Is there a bug on me?!”

“N--no,” Luke chokes out. “It’s just… sorry. It’s just your hair.”

He lets out a low, awkward laugh and just prays for the moment to end, for the embarrassment to just see itself out like the unwanted party guest that it was.

But then Willie joins in on the laughter, and the sound fills up the room-- and Luke’s heart-- with a comfortable warmth that overshadows any regret that might’ve been there before. When their laughter finally fades out into silence, Luke misses it immediately. He isn’t sure why he’s feeling this way; usually, losing his mind over how cute Willie was is Alex’s jam. And it’s not like Luke hasn’t appreciated Willie for all that he is-- he’s just looked from a distance. Up until now, he’s been like one of those peacocks at the zoo, something that’s okay to admire from afar but impossible to touch, impossible to get close to.

“Willie--”

Alex chooses that moment to come back into the room, grimace on his face as he quietly shuts the door behind him.

“So… it doesn’t look like we’re having band practice today.”

“What? Why?!” Luke needs music like he needs air; especially right now, when all he wants is a distraction from these thoughts about Willie. Off-limits, his-best-friend’s-partner Willie, whose soft hair and easy grin are still taking up way too much space in his mind.

Playing music’s supposed to fix that, just like it has fixed every other thing that’s gone wrong in Luke’s life recently. Losing himself in his songs is the only surefire way that he knows to not think about his problems for a while. Running the band practice, making sure that Bobby’s guitar is tuned to perfection and that Reggie knows when to come in during the chorus… it’s those organizational things that distract him the best. Because even though everything’s going to shit inside his head, on the outside everything looks perfect. It sounds perfect. It’s all as it should be.

“Reggie and Bobby are still fighting because Bobby swatted at a bee on the way to the studio, and Reggie just stopped immediately to yell at him for it because ‘bees are essential to nature,’ and ‘they’re his friends,’ and he was offended. Bobby texted me all this.

“So now Reggie’s refusing to come to practice-- or go anywhere else with Bobby-- ‘til he ‘apologizes to the bees’.” Alex snorts. “So we won’t be seeing them for a while.”

He finally crosses the studio to the couch and settles himself down on Willie’s other side, dropping his bag to the floor. “So what have you guys been up to?”

“Not-- not much,” Luke stutters. “We were just--”

“Luke was just saying how gorgeous my hair is, how much he wants to run his fingers through it. He said it’s like the finest silk from China, the most glorious, flowing--”

“Shut up,” Luke chokes out a laugh. “Alex, we weren’t--”

Alex doesn’t seem too bothered, though. He grins at Luke easily and says, “Willie's hair really is something, isn’t it?”

Luke feels his cheeks turn cranberry red. “It-- it’s alright.”

“Alright?!” Willie asks incredulously. “I believe you compared it to Rapunzel. It’s Disney Princess-worthy!”

Alex lets out a poorly-concealed snort and shoves Willie playfully, knocking him into Luke like a domino. He shoots Luke a grin over his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“He’s modest, too!”

“Luke said he’s gonna be our Prince Charming!” Willie says with glee.

“Luke, why didn’t you tell me you liked Willie’s hair so much?” Alex teases.

“Hey, it’s only fair,” Willie protests, with an impish smirk that sends shock waves through Luke’s small intestine. “If I have to listen to you wax poetic about Luke’s arms all day, you should be able to handle-- appreciate, even-- that Luke thinks my hair is sexy.” He flips his hair, for dramatic effect, and winks at Luke. “‘Cause it is, you know. He’s absolutely right, and he can say it!”

“You’re relentless,” Luke grumbles. His face feels like a campfire.

“Willie!” Alex’s eyes widen, his own blush sprouting on his cheeks now, like Fourth of July fireworks. “You weren’t supposed to--”

“It’s fine, Hot Dog,” Willie chuckles. “I think Luke feels the same way about you. Right, Luke?”

“Wait, what?!” Luke splutters. “I--”

Luke stops himself, because he was about to deny that, and… he’s not fully confident in his answer, anyway.

He and Alex tried something, years ago, way back before Alex even met Willie… but Luke had been scared back then. He was still scared now-- the prospect of crossing that line from friendship to more, when so much was at stake… their friendship, the band. Luke’s sense of security.

He can’t still like Alex. He shouldn’t like Willie.

And liking both of them?

Alex and Willie are still staring at him, still waiting for the answer that would make or break the entire afternoon. And Luke opens his mouth to say no, to try to salvage whatever he has left of Alex’s friendship, of his own self-respect… but apparently his brain and his heart and his mouth are not all on the same page, because the word that leaves his lips is, “Yes.”

He braces himself for the impact; for Alex’s eyes to widen in realization. For him to try to backtrack, say that Willie hadn’t meant what he said. For Willie to use whatever paranormal charisma skills he seemed to possess to try to get them all back on track-- to make some sort of joke or change the subject.

He even prepares himself for one of them to tell him to leave. He wouldn’t blame them, honestly.

But none of that happens. What happens is that Alex steps forward slowly, shakily, and looks at Luke with a strange expression-- fear, confidence, and desire all morphed into one.

Luke’s never seen Alex look like that before, but the sight of it sets his heart pounding in his rib cage again.

“Can I… can I try something?”

Luke nods, so Alex steels himself and grabs Luke by the wrist, pulling him in and smashing their lips together.

The kiss is warm, and fast, and Luke’s heart is beating out of his chest but the sleeves of Alex’s hoodie are soft against his bare arms. He pulls Alex closer, needing more of the unexpected comfort, and Alex obliges, swinging one hand around Luke’s head to hold it in place against his.

Eventually, Luke does need to pull back and catch his breath. When he does he finds Alex’s gaze on him intently; and behind him, Willie is watching carefully, too, braced for Luke’s reaction.

He just… he kissed his best friend. In front of his boyfriend! And neither of them look particularly bothered about it…

How the hell did Luke’s day turn into this? How did he get to this point, panting in the garage studio, sweat prickling against the back of his neck, Alex looking at him like that, fresh out of a kiss, and Willie… looking like he wants to join in?

“Shit, Alex,” Willie teases, letting out a trembling breath. “I don’t think you’ve ever kissed me like that.” His eyes settle on Luke. “Can it be my turn now?”

The kiss with Willie’s a lot different. It’s warm and soft and comforting like Alex’s was, but there’s an edge to it. Luke feels like a teenager again, almost; like he’s doing something he shouldn’t be… but that just makes him enjoy it all the more.

Kissing Willie is like speeding down a highway on a motorcycle-- he can feel the rush of the wind in his ears, the room spinning around him, but he feels grounded to the seat all the same.

It’s exhilaration; it’s jumping out of an airplane with no parachute, and the rush of it only makes Luke want more.

Luke still doesn’t know how his day had turned from bad to how it is now; full of possibilities, full of nerve wracking love and things Luke didn’t even realize he was craving.

When Willie pulls him back in for another kiss, Luke decides he doesn’t even care. He’s just happy to be along for the ride.

#julie and the phantoms #julie & the phantoms #jatp #jatp fanfiction #jatp fanfic #luke patterson #alex mercer #willie nolastname #lalexie #them 💜#i'm still taking these prompts if anybody wants to send one btw!

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bruh-haikyuu · 4 years

Note

Waaaaaaah!!! I really liked you (internecine/oikawa tooru)!!! Can I ask for a part two? What happened with s/o-chan? Her ex(not Oikawa) is dangerous? Will Oikawa discover the truth? Thanks for writing so well!

A/N: DAMN THE SEQUEL YALL BEEN WAITING FOR dabbled with a smidge of iwaizumi x reader ;)) HANA THIS IS FOR US OIK SUCKERS I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY

sequel to this

querencia. | oikawa tooru

word count: 5437

warnings: blackmail and angst! (+slight gaslighting)

(n.) a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

Iwaizumi knows Oikawa was strict when it came to volleyball. He knows how riled up he gets whenever he does solo practices. Although that focus came with Oikawa’s obliging reticence, the absence of noise was really pissing him off.

“Oikawa, let’s go, dude. We have to lock up soon or the Discipline Committee will chew us out again.”

He noticed a slight glance from the captain’s sepia pools but Oikawa Tooru kept his lips sealed. This guy… Iwaizumi grimaced. “Hey, I know you heard me. Don’t give your old lady grey hairs by coming home late all the time. Let’s go.”

“Hey, Iwa-chan, are you devoted to anything?”

Iwaizumi hid a relieved expression. At least Oikawa was finally saying something in full rather than the half-assed responses he’d been giving out the past month.

“Huh? What’re you trying to say? Of course I’m devoted. To volleyball!” Iwaizumi didn’t mean to sound angry, but looking at his best friend’s current state, he couldn’t help but to clench in frustration.

The blue and yellow ball rebounded from the polished hardwood floors into the setter’s expecting grip. “…Was it that? The problem. My ‘devotion’?”

Iwaizumi scratched the back of his neck in earnest before grabbing Oikawa’s wrist to drag him away from the fluorescent spotlight of the gym. Heaving two school bags over his shoulder with his limp friend on the other, Iwaizumi grumbled.

“I don’t get any of the shit you’re saying.”

Iwaizumi lied. He knew exactly what Oikawa was talking about.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Being in the Library Committee came with its own perks.

A peaceful workplace to drown yourself in your own thoughts

Full privilege to a lineup of all the volumes of Hirunaka no Ryuusei

Being the one and only member of the Library Committee

You had always enjoyed the tranquility that the magnificent atrium of papers offered—not a lot of people scourged for outdated reference books anyway. It was a welcoming interlude from your hectic life… Especially with your current state of affairs. But your head was stubbornly rejecting peace.

If it had been a couple months ago, Oikawa Tooru would have been sneaking into the library to avoid getting his head bashed in by Iwaizumi for being ‘too good at Old Maid’. He would have groaned and whined, subtly asking for your attention to make it all better. You would have refused, a blush betraying your response. Either way you would’ve surrendered to a single kiss after all.

The impression seemed so distant despite it being so recent.

Oikawa Tooru could find someone better than you. Someone who didn’t have this mess piled up upon their shoulders. Someone who wasn’t stupid enough to have dated an obsessive, creepy bastard.

You were so sure of the thought… but why do you keep remembering the taste of Oikawa’s lips lingering on yours? It had always suggested a hint of peaches and tropical mango juice. Flavors that had sparked fireworks in the depths of your belly.

In the end, you decided you would stop by Lawson’s after your duties to buy a mango ICE MONSTER bar. Just for the sake of the memory.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

“Ah. L/N-san.”

You cursed yourself to a million deaths. What on Earth did you pull to get karma this big? You were sure the constant suppression and cold shoulders from school were enough to cover for your sins against their volleyball superstar. But to encounter said superstar’s best friend at the convenience store (especially with your theatrical “baton pass” to him a month prior) was beyond your gravest punishments.

“I-Iwaizumi-san! Funny to see you here.”

“Ain’t this the only convenience store in the area though?”

God, you idiot. Just can’t keep your mouth shut, can you?

In the deserted frozen food aisle, two Aoba Johsai third years stood faced off with one another. If it were one of your younger brother’s RPG games, Iwaizumi would’ve been an impossibly matchless boss level—emanating all sorts of auras that screamed ‘INDOMITABLE’. And you? A level one player with only a wooden stick at your siege.

Crossing his arms, he huffed. “Anyway, L/N-san, I wanted to talk to you about—”

You prepared yourself for another blow like always. He was probably going to talk about that. But this time, your legs acted faster.

“Um, I have to go! Goodbye, Iwaizumi-san!”

“Huh? Hang on a sec! L/N-san!”

Iwaizumi Hajime, ace of Aoba Johsai Boys’ Volleyball Club, was chasing you. Why was he chasing you?! Your head spun with images of him cutting you up into pieces to serve for Oikawa’s breakfast, lunch and dinner. Merciless. Brutal. Vile. Was this his way of getting you back for dumping Oikawa on his shoulders?

You let out a small shriek, zipping past a bicycle parked horizontally on the sidewalk. Maybe with his large size, Iwaizumi would have to slow down a bit, giving you a chance to—

Vaulting over the bicycle, Iwaizumi only became hairs closer to your hurrying form. “Wait! L/N-san!”

“Please don’t kill me!” You sobbed, turning into a corner. “I have a family I still want to come home to!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” he yelled, the hoarseness of his voice striking horror in your legs. “You didn’t pay for your ice cream!”

“Ha?!”

After dropping off 195 yen on the shop counter and dutifully bowing your head to the cashier at least ten times, Iwaizumi escorted you to the store’s entrance, the light amber of the sky gracing his stern features. For a moment, Iwaizumi Hajime, ace of Aoba Johsai Boys’ Volleyball Club, seemed like a normal high school boy instead of the terrifying column of pure muscle.

“Sorry for chasing you like that… You got the wrong idea and everything too,” he chuckled, low vibrations bobbing in his Adam’s apple.

“It was my fault too,” you cringed, head empty with only the thought of your animalistic instincts kicking in to take you away from ‘danger’. “I was just shocked that anyone would talk to me right now.”

“…Is that so… B-by the way…”

You almost forgot that you had run away just as he was about to beat you to a pulp with his words. You held your breath, feet rooted in place now that you had learned that there was no way you could beat an ace in races.

“We’re on Cleaning Duty tomorrow, right? Don’t forget and bail on me like that asshole Takahashi does.”

Gradually, you felt a World’s Biggest Idiot crown settle on your head. You breathed through your nose and muttered a sullen “yes, yes” before turning around and going your own fine way home. Of course, after apologizing once more to Iwaizumi for making him chase you distances just so you would pay for your treat.

Watching your back shrink into the golden horizon, Iwaizumi scratched his head, heart heavy with the weight your words carried. He probably shouldn’t have stalled his real question to you like that.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Becoming the enemy of Aoba Johsai’s general public didn’t seem so bad at first. At least they weren’t doing all the malicious shoujo manga-esque type of torture. No carved out voodoo dolls or vandalized tabletops.

But the thought didn’t make your sentence seem lighter.

When you had been with Oikawa, everyone suddenly wanted to get to know you. To eat lunch with you. To invite you to hangouts. Now that you’ve broken him, your only worthy punishment was to be broken tenfold.

How cowardly of me. You scowled, the contours of the broom handle etching itself on your palms. I don’t even know if half of Daisuke’s threats were real…

If the texts hadn’t sounded so genuine, you would have probably been laughing it off with Oikawa right now. But you weren’t. And that made you hate yourself for it.

“L/N-san, you okay?”

Pulled back into reality by your ever placid Cleaning Duty partner, you cleared your throat and swept the remaining bits of grime onto the fluorescent green dustpan.

“Y-yeah. I’m alright,” you said eyes flickering from his sharp ones.

Iwaizumi must��ve had some sort of sixth sense because his doubting gaze did not falter the slightest. “Really? You seem especially off today, though. You hungry or something?”

Now he was toying with you. “No I’m not.”

As if it had been cued, your stomach growled and you gritted your teeth in defeat. Stupid, stupid digestion.

“If you’re free after this, I’ll treat you to lunch. We need to talk about some unfinished matters, L/N-san.”

“But—”

“It’s about Oikawa.”

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

The scent of pork and shoyu weaved into your senses, blinding you with flavor. In the midst of burly men and hearty-looking meals plastered in bold in the quaint shop’s menu, a small high school girl like you did not mingle well with her surroundings.

Sitting across from you was Iwaizumi, attention pinned on a flimsy laminated piece of paper with a list of ramen that seemed to drone on and on. In the heat of the place, both of you had shed your blazers, draping them over the back of your rickety seats. Seeing Iwaizumi’s sleeves rolled up, you shivered at the thought of what those arms could do to you if you had run away from him again.

“Master, I’ll have the Aka Tonkotsu ramen today. Large with extra pork slices as always,” he piped up, catching the brisk nod of the shop owner from the corner of his work station. “How ‘bout you, L/N-san?”

“Um… a glass of mineral water, please. Iced.”

The ramen master and Iwaizumi’s faces twisted into expressions of concern and offense. You were sure you had attracted the attention of few others too with your order… but what was so wrong with just having water though? It wasn’t like you really enjoyed ramen. And your visit here wasn’t really much of your choice…

“Come on, you have to have the ramen here. I’m paying anyway,” Iwaizumi wanted to add in a comment that the prices at this particular shop were extravagantly affordable, but he chose to miss out on that. “Do you like spicy food?”

“I suppose I do—”

Iwaizumi grinned knocking on the wooden table to gain the master’s attention once more. “Make that two large bowls of Aka Tonkotsu, Master!”

You sputtered, ears barely registering his words. “L-large? Iwaizumi-san, I won’t be able to finish that!”

“Huh? Why not though? Your stomach growled really loudly back at school, I’m sure you’ll down the entire thing in seconds. But it’d mostly be caused by how good the ramen here is.”

You noticed how the ramen master’s ears flashed a bright pink. Seriously, how blatant can this guy be with his words… You were sure with the way Iwaizumi talked, he could either have all the girls in Japan swooning over his honesty or have everyone else throwing nasty glances at him. You fell into the latter category.

“About Too—” you paused, although insistent on breaking the frosty wall between the both of you. “Oikawa. I-is he doing well?”

“Well he’s obviously acting more differently than he used to,” Iwaizumi replied in blunt, hands centered on trying to pull the modest pair of wooden chopsticks apart cleanly. Snap. A small chunk of the second chopstick had awkwardly stuck with the first; Iwaizumi frowned. “Why’re you asking? Didn’t you guys break up?”

You puffed out fumes from your nose indignantly. “Aren’t you the one who invited me here to talk about him? Iwaizumi-san, if you’re not going to say anything important I’d rather leave than have you toy with my time.”

Iwaizumi’s hand reached out to scratch his nape—an old habit you had noticed from him countlessly in class, especially when he seemed nervous. “Alright, alright. Geez… don’t tell anyone about it but I’m worried about Oikawa. Trust me, I can tell when he’s being serious about practicing volleyball and when he’s just plain… letting loose. I suspected it had something to do with you because all he’s been doing is mope around like a beaten dog after you dumped him.”

You gulped.

“Why did you break up with him? I know he could be a crappy jerk with volleyballs for brains, but I know he won’t put his ambitions over someone he cares about—he learned that from his first relationship. So why did you do it? Was he finally getting on your nerves too? Or did you get bothered by his fanclub?”

Your hands gripped your skirt until your knuckles turned white. Iwaizumi definitely wasn’t the first person to drop the question on you. But that didn’t make you less nervous whenever you had to respond. Deciding to dodge the bullet like always, you went for a simple “it’s complicated”.

“Two large bowls of Aka Tonkotsu ramen, one with extra pork slices!” the ramen master announced, a bell of dismissal to your relief. “Plus a glass of iced water for the young miss.”

Watching the master limp back to his post, you didn’t notice Iwaizumi sprinkle a dollop of chili powder into his bowl, his sharp gaze cutting through your body. “Whatever. I’ll get it out of you one way or another. You wouldn’t have told me to take care of Oikawa if it wasn’t a serious problem.”

You slipped a stray strand of hair behind your ear, picking up your own chopsticks in the process. Despite the fear that pooled in your stomach from Iwaizumi’s promise, you couldn’t help to anticipate for a person to share the heinous truth with. Murmuring a soft “thank you for the food”, you decided that the truth belonged to another day and enjoyed your meal in silence.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Apparently, Iwaizumi did see your mouth forming the request. When he had brought it up at the ramen shop, you felt your entire universe fall apart at its core. You wanted to punch yourself for even thinking up such an shameless action. Whispering to him to take care of someone he spent his life tackling was useless. Pressing your face into your pillow, you wondered if you could sleep yourself to dematerialization.

Tugging you out from your misery, your cell phone vibrated in vigor before dropping still on your bedside table.

From: Unknown

Subject: This is Iwaizumi Hajime

09:34 PM

Yo. It’s Iwaizumi, save my number ok? I hope you enjoyed the ramen. Did you get home safe?

Right. You and Iwaizumi had exchanged numbers after he had paid an amazingly cheap price for the ramen. The surprisingly succulent ramen that had you gulping down the bowl until it was drained—just like what he’d promised. You’d hate to admit he was right so soon though…

To: Iwaizumi Hajime

Re: [This is Iwaizumi Hajime]

09:36 PM

Thanks for the ramen ^_^~ Also, I got home in one piece, so don’t worry about it.

A few moments after you had pressed the send button, another text came flying into your inbox. Two texts. From two entirely different contacts. The first one was Iwaizumi’s.

From: Iwaizumi Hajime

Subject: You didn’t answer my question

09:36 PM

About our topic of discussion today… are you going to tell me the truth or not? I don’t want to pry it out of a girl, it’d be rude assuming we’ve only started to officially talk today. But just so you know, I won’t give up until I know the reason. It pisses me off to see Oikawa so moody every day. I hope you’ll understand.

Your fingers hovered over your keyboard for a few moments too long to string together a coherent reply. Iwaizumi was a prime example of trust and valour. Sure, you had considered yourself a knight after ‘protecting Oikawa from your dangerous ex-boyfriend’, but now you just seemed like a jerk.

Scrolling over to see the second text loitering in your messages, you felt your blood vessels tighten. The sender’s name was seven syllables long. Seven syllables that you had hoped to never have to thread together ever again.

From: Masayuki Daisuke

Subject: None

09:36 PM

I knew you’d listen to me, Y/N-chan~ You were always such an obedient one, such a good girl. Now that that good-for-nothing playboy has his hands off you, we can be together right? Of course, we’ll have to wait until you graduate high school but that’s just a matter of time.

We’ll get married, Y/N-chan. I’ll make you as happy as you can ever be, even if we have to elope. I’ll even buy us a house in Tokyo, just where you wanted… You made a right decision to leave Oikawa, if you didn’t, I know it’d make you suffer just being in his presence. You belong with me, Y/N-chan, not with anyone above our insignificant roles. He’d make you feel small for the rest of your life… but I’m here for you.

I hope you won’t be unfaithful to me as we count down to the days when we shall begin our lives together. I love you~

Your lips curled into a flat line. All the blood had drained from your fingertips, leaving the fluorescent light of your cell phone to eerily illuminate through the limpid skin. You wanted to vomit, to wail, to look for and tell someone. But who? You couldn’t possibly run and cry to Oikawa. Hell, Iwaizumi and your ‘friends’ were out of the question. And your parents would overreact, making matters worse.

“I hate this,” you grunted, tossing your phone onto the couch across your bed. Maybe you could sleep it off like you usually did. Alas, you didn’t seem to receive a wink of sleep at all. This is bad, you finally admitted.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Iwaizumi Hajime had made it a habit (and a nuisance) to stumble in the library or other parts of the area after school to drag you to the ramen shop and fruitlessly attempt to wring even a droplet of truth from you. On the bright side, the food was always tasty, and you had adapted yourself to genuinely enjoy ramen as a delicacy. Plus, when it came to Iwaizumi’s savory bribes, you never even had to think about pulling your wallet out of your pocket!

Throughout the course of your ‘interrogations’, you had also learned that Iwaizumi was just an awkward puppy hiding beneath a shell of a raucous yankii. Of course, this was all fueled by his concern for his best friend, but nevertheless, you discovered that it didn’t take much to revert the almighty volleyball ace into a flustered mess of a high schooler.

You came to realize why Oikawa loved to tease him to the brim. And why they had stuck together for so long. In fact, if Iwaizumi had been a girl, you were dead sure that Oikawa would pick him over you—he was everything you weren’t and so much more…

Idiot, how long has it been already? Stop thinking about things like that, you braced yourself. Slapping yourself with the leather-bound cover of a weathered Chemistry textbook, you diverted your focus back on the cart of new books you were supposed to arrange.

Quiet hours in the library was especially your favorite time, of course, until Iwaizumi had recently interrupted it with persistence despite his prior knowledge that your duties wouldn’t end until half an hour later. Another trait of his, you had come to realize, was that he was unbearably annoying when he didn’t get what he wanted.

Hearing the clack of the library door’s swing (though much quieter than Iwaizumi’s usual loud shove), you scowled, eyes twitching in annoyance.

“Iwaizumi-san, for the last time! Stop coming in here if you’re not going to read or borrow a book. And don’t ask me the same question over and over again, I can’t tell you why it happened because it’s too—”

Crap.

You felt your heart jump at the sight of a pair of umber eyes that roused an emotion from deep within your memory. You almost didn’t recognize him. He looked taller, much more sturdy. And way too drained.

“Y-Y/N-chan,” Oikawa murmured, your name dripping honey on his tongue like it always had.

You didn’t even stop yourself from calling him by his name. “Tooru…”

You swore you could lock eyes with him for eons. Subtle glances in the hallway didn’t compare to being in Oikawa’s light. When you were with him, he made you feel warm. You missed that warmth. You missed him.

“What are you doing here?” you managed to sputter, eyelids freezing up.

When he broke from your gaze, you felt your heart plummet and shatter. “I just needed to look for a reference book for my English homework.”

It hurt. When you were dating, Oikawa never let the both of you dwindle in silence. He knew silence sickened you to the stomach. When you had broken up with him, he didn’t let silence waver over him either. But having the absence of noise barricading you from him, you felt cold.

“A-ah, you must mean Ogawara-sensei’s literary task…” you murmured, drinking in the appearance of his face, tracing pre-existing etches of it in your head. “Do you want me to help you look for them?”

How stupid of you to ask. Oikawa basically had the map of the library emblazoned on the back of his hand. You would know—it all came from the secret rendezvous he’d pull you into while you still had deemed yourself worthy of being loved by him.

“That would be nice,” he smiled shyly.

You led him into a warmly lit section pulsing with the livelihood of foreign words. Gliding between the wide space between the shelves, your fingers slipped through the seams across the books. It didn’t take you more than 2 minutes to locate a volume spilled with the wisdom you needed to ace Ogawara-sensei’s class.

“William Faulkner? I thought you didn’t enjoy those kinds of works,” Oikawa murmured, almost teasing as he thumbed through the fragrant pages of ink.

Eyes tracing the lettering of ‘A Rose for Emily’, you said, “I don’t particularly dislike this one. Tragic endings aren’t my cup of tea, but the romance really sucks you in.”

“I almost forgot how much of a shoujo otaku you were,” he chuckled, laughter like small bells tinkling in the soft wind. “You always look so serious, but figuring out that you were a sap was the funniest part.”

You puffed out your cheeks indignantly, “It’s not like I can help it! You want me to help you or not? Geez…”

Oikawa’s laughter ruptured in the great expanse, a contagious feeling bubbling in your throat. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just— it’s nice to see you again, that’s all…”

Your heart burst into streams of golden confetti, drawing universes within your chest like Oikawa used to do. He was always more different with you. Less fake, more genuine. More honest. You still hadn’t figured out why he’d go after you, especially with all the pretty girls willing to throw themselves in front of a train for him. You didn’t even have enough guts to ignore your ex-boyfriend.

All the wondering made you dizzy, you wanted to sit down, but Oikawa’s desolate eyes chained you to your spot. Iwaizumi was right. He looked like he had thrown himself across the gym a couple times before staying wide awake for 48 hours. As much as you hated to admit, you wanted to help him.

“Tooru, I’m—”

“Found you!” Both of your heads snapped towards the library entrance, blasted open haphazardly by a burly third year student.

“Iwaizumi-san!”

“Iwa-chan?”

A sly grin crept up the boy’s features, making him look more of an ogre than usual. You felt an uneasy lump dissolving in the pits of your stomach, from the corner of your eye, you spotted Oikawa slumping in what seemed to be defeat.

“Just as planned. Now, anyone hungry for ramen?”

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

This was by far the most quiet meal you’ve had with Iwaizumi and Oikawa—combined and separately. You didn’t even dare to excuse yourself to the restroom. You haven’t even touched your food either, for all you knew, it was probably already cold.

On the other hand, Iwaizumi was already stuffing his face with today’s special lobster ramen. “What’s wrong, L/N? Ain’t hungry? It’s your favorite dish too.”

Your brows pointed downwards in an annoyed scowl. Iwaizumi wasn’t known to be the best at reading situations anyway. You kicked his shin below the sunken space beneath the table, taking care that Oikawa wasn’t looking.

“Right! Nearly forgot,” if Iwaizumi hadn’t been someone who towered over you, you would’ve pestered him for being such a nuisance. “I damn hope you know why you’re both here.”

You gulped, cheeks reddening at the mention.

“Sorry, is there something I should know about?” Oikawa smiled faintly, a heavy air of concern draped over his shoulders. Sweat began to clump in your palms.

“Ha? Of course you do! You’ve gotta know why L/N broke up with you, right?”

“I-Iwa-chan! I don’t think that’s appropriate to talk about right now. I know for whatever reason Y/N-chan’s got for it, it’s a respectable choice.” Liar. You know I was just being a coward for not telling you, you pursed your lips.

“It’s only respectable until we know what it is,” Iwaizumi boomed, eyes boring into your shrinking figure. “Things don’t just happen for a reason, right, L/N? It’s okay if you tell us.”

“…”

“L/N, it’s for Oikawa’s good. Didn’t you say you wanted him to be happy?”

“Stop that, man. Don’t force her,” Oikawa’s tone wavered between anguish and warning. You almost wanted to leap into his arms. He was so close, sitting right next to you, but for some reason he felt miles away. “But…”

Sucking in a deep breath, you blinked back the tears that threatened to spill. “I don’t—”

The shrill ring of your phone shattered the torrential dilemma that hung in the air. Glancing at the number, you paled to the tips of your toes, all color lost from your skin. No, no, no, no. Not here. Not now.

Throwing your school bag over your shoulder, you stood shakily, hand gripping your phone like a vice. “I-I have to go.”

Turning your back on the two boys, you quickly hurried out the door of the shop, hands too tremulous to drop a tip in the glass jar adorning the entrance. He shouldn’t be here. Why was he here? You’ve had enough. No more. Hanging around Oikawa and Iwaizumi was a deadly mistake you’d swore you’d never repeat. But you were a mere mortal who fell too easily to the temptations of forbidden love. A love you could never have.

“Y/N-chan!” a plush hand wrapped itself around your elbow, throwing you back against a solid wall of warmth. A distinct scent of peaches and mango juice pressed against the crown of your hair, a familiarity you would be forced to pry yourself from.

“Tooru, please…” a single drop escaped your quivering eyes, rolling down your cheek, clumping at your chin. “I can’t do this. You have to let me go.”

“At least tell me what I did wrong. Was I not devoted enough? Did I offend you in some way? Or did you find someone else…?” The bob of his throat wobbled against your head. “I’m sorry that I loved you. I’m sorry.”

To hell with it. Turning in his grasps, you looked into his glassy hues, shining with tears, laced with the afterglow of genuine affection. For you.

“Don’t you ever apologize for loving someone. If someone has to apologize, it’s me!” you barked at him, tears streaming down your face, hot in its trail. “I made a mistake for loving the wrong person. I’m sorry I had feelings for such a psychopath. This was before I met you. Now he’s out to get us and it’s all my fault…”

You paused, burying your face into his uniform, taking in the deep pitter patter of his heart.

“I’m scared, Tooru… He’s been sending threats to me. I don’t want him to hurt you… Please, help me,” you sobbed, ignoring the incoming echo of a lone walker approaching the scene.

“Y/N-chin?”

Dark eyes stared back at yours, emptiness filling it, only a murderous aura emanating from the figure. You watched as Daisuke’s fist closed, veins popping for the world to see. You wondered how your day could get any worse.

“Traitor! You left that bastard just to run back to him?!” he growled against the silent backdrop of the market district. “I promised you a life where you wouldn’t have to feel so inferior. I sincerely love you, Y/N. Why can’t you understand that we’re the type of people who can’t fit in with assholes like… him.”

When Oikawa stepped between the both of you, you felt your heart drop and hang dangerously on a thin string held together by your prayers. “Are you the guy who’s been threatening Y/N-chan the whole time?”

Daisuke turned to you, leering viciously. “Oh, so I’m the bad guy? Don’t do this to me, Y/N-chin. You belong with me. You know that.”

“She doesn’t belong to anyone. Leave her alone, she obviously doesn’t want to be with you.”

A quick gleam of a silver blade caught the gentle light of the setting sun and you felt your mouth go dry. Before a scream could escape your mouth, a vivid thud then a crunch thundered in your ears. You didn’t even want to open your eyes. You didn’t think you could even see with the flood of tears clustering your vision.

“Y/N-chan? Y/N-chan! It’s okay,” Tooru. “It’s okay now. I-I knocked him out.”

Wrenching your eyes wide, you saw Oikawa crouched next to you on the ground, rubbing circles onto your back as he nestled himself in your shoulder. Behind him was Daisuke. Laid spread-eagle on his back, the menacing cutter now seeming so small in his large grip. Next to his bruised head was a single volleyball shoe.

Just about the size of Oikawa’s sock-clad right foot.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

A month later

“Ain’t Captain awfully chipper lately?” Kindaichi muttered to his upperclassmen, balancing a ball on his fingertips, only to have it bounce to the floor in an instant.

Hanamaki, while unlacing the intricate knots adorning the nets, shot the first year an incredulous look. Sighing, he said, “You really haven’t heard at all, haven’t you?”

Kindaichi felt it would be too embarrassing to say. He kept quiet.

“He made up with his girlfriend recently. Turned out, she was being threatened by her psycho of an ex-boyfriend if she didn’t break up with him. The guy’s finally behind bars, so I guess that contributes to it too.”

Kindaichi’s eyes lit up. Oh, he knew about this. “I’ve seen that before on the news! Man, must be pretty scary for Oikawa-san’s girlfriend… I honestly wouldn’t be able to do anything if I were her. That’d put too much mental strain on me.”

From behind him, Matsukawa snickered, ruffling the boy’s hair casually, earning him a dirty look. “Don’t try to compare yourself to L/N-san. The tips of your haircut will catch fire if you had the same amount of stress she did.”

“Grilled Napa Cabbage!”

“Hanamaki-san, don’t tease!”

From the other side of the gym, Oikawa Tooru eyed his phone glassily, his pupils on the verge of forming hearts. It was over. It was finally over. Now he was back to his previous routine, with a dash of something new everyday. Same as always. He loved that always—that always was you.

L/N Y/N: I can’t wait to eat with you and Iwaizumi-san today! Thank you Tooru

Oikawa Tooru: Are you sure you don’t want to eat somewhere we usually do? I was a bit surprised that you invited us to the ramen shop ╮( ˘ ､ ˘ )╭

L/N Y/N: Ehhhh??? Do I have to cancel reservations? Do you want to eat somewhere else??

Oikawa Tooru: Just kidding Y/N-chan~ ☆⌒(ゝ。∂) I want to see how much red peppers you can add to your broth before passing out ☆

L/N Y/N: Mean!! ( `ε´ )

Oikawa Tooru: Ehehe~

“Oikawa, let’s go. L/N’s probably waiting for us already,” Iwaizumi called out from the gym’s doors, mouth nearly frothing at the image of free bowls of ramen that he didn’t have to pay for tonight.

Waving off his best friend, he turned to his screen to type out one last message, a soft smile adorning his face. “Happy birthday, Y/N-chan. I’ll cherish you today, tomorrow and the days after that. Thank you for loving me as me.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru imagine #oikawa tooru scenario #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime imagine #iwaizumi hajime scenario #aoba johsai x reader #sfw #bruh haikyuu writing #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #tooru x reader #hajime x reader

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cherryyjjk · 4 years

Text

soulmates?

summary: crushes were always hard to understand, friends were much easier. you were a professional in making them, you had 8 best friends! but you wondered, would a significant other make you happier?

pairing: ot8! stray kids x reader, gender neutral! crush x reader

genre: angst / fluff / mixtape: on track! au

word count: 6.5k

warnings: manipulation, fighting, little bit of cuts but not at all graphic, rejection

a/n: c/n = crush’s name, f/c = favorite color, f/f = favorite flavor of ice cream, and this gives me wattpad vibes. you can think of the friendship as platonic or maybe more, it’s up to you. this was inspired by mixtape: on track so it’ll be cute to listen to it while you read :)

School was either your heaven or your hell. There wasn’t an in between. And it’s not like for nerds it was heaven or for ‘dumber’ people it was hell. It was more complex than that, kids are more complex than that. But anyways, enough of you being philosophical and trying to prove to your teachers that people your age could be mature and kids.

You often felt like it was hell. The hard tests, the strict teachers, the competitive nature of your peers, the long nights of studying, the usual. It didn’t seem to end either, it felt like years before you could go on summer break. No pressures, just living life. But even then, it could get lonely. If you couldn’t make connections fast you were often outcast. You were scared you’d be like that. An outcast. All alone.

But you weren’t. Especially not with your friends by your side.

“Hey Y/N! What’s taking you forever?” A voice from further away whined out.

You turned your head to look away from the parking lot, up the steps in front of you, to where all your friends were waiting for you. You smiled and ran up the staircase to where they were standing. Your backpack bounced around while you were moving and you were sure that any spare papers were getting crumpled. You came to stop right in front of the person that called you.

“Sorry Felix, just thinking.” You apologized and held the straps of your backpack to ease some weight of your shoulders.

“No thoughts, head empty.” Jisung whispered from where he was standing next to Changbin and Seungmin.

You whipped your head in shock to his outburst, but you weren’t that surprised. It was Jisung, you expected no less. But it was early in the morning and you may or may not have stayed up late.

Changbin just sighed while Seungmin started hitting Jisung on the shoulder for quoting a meme. You snorted and couldn’t stop laughing at the interaction. You were really blessed to have such wonderful friends.

Out of nowhere, you felt more weight on your shoulder. Minho had come up from behind you and was resting his head on your shoulder.

You looked to the side to see his smirking face and furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. He just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders before Hyunjin came up behind Minho and did the same thing to him. Hyunjin rested his head on Minho’s shoulder and smiled and started to blink his eyes unnecessarily. You were really confused at this point and didn’t understand what was happening.

“Of course your thoughts aren’t empty, Y/N. You’re probably still daydreaming about C/N!” Chan giggled out from next to Felix while your cheeks blushed.

You tried to stutter out a reply but couldn’t even form any words. You tried hitting Chan on the shoulder but you couldn’t move. Minho’s hands were still holding onto your shoulders tightly. You tried to shake them off but couldn’t.

You looked back at your friend, “Uh, Minho? You good?” you asked confused why he was still smirking and not letting you go.

“Well, Hyunjin and I were talking—“

“—Is that why I heard screaming?”

“Shut up Jeongin!”

“Ugh, as I was saying before Hyunjin—“

“Excuse you! I was trying to help!”

“OKAY, okay, whatever. ANYWAYS! We were thinking that today is the perfect day for you to confess!” Minho finished after Jeongin and Hyunjin interrupted him.

“C-confess? Today?!” You squeaked out

“Yeah, why not?” Felix said, shrugging his shoulders.

“I guess. But seriously, why today? Is today someday special?” You questioned.

“Nope, but it’s a normal day. So it’ll be fine!” Seungmin answered from behind you.

You blinked a few times in hesitation and kept opening your mouth without saying anything.

Minho patted your shoulders and let go before saying, “Well, it’s decided! Today’s the day Y/N’s gonna confess to C/N!”

The others cheered you on while you stood there in bewilderment, thinking how you could’ve gotten such chaotic friends. The eight of them talked amongst each other while you started to panic. You had to confess, today. Confessions are no easy feat, and rejections are even worse. You thought that C/N might like you back. They were a pretty nice person and didn’t seem to be mean. They were always nice to you.

The bell rang and the nine of you split up to your respective classes. For the first few classes, you had them with two or three of your friends while the last class was with C/N.

Alone with C/N.

You gulped, already regretting everything. You regretted telling the guys about your crush the most.

_______________________________________________________________________

The last school bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and the start of the last class of the day. You said your byes to all the boys and accepted their good lucks. Minho and Hyunjin decided to walk with you to class since they had soccer practice. They could be late, they were the co-assistant captains of the team. Chan was the captain and was too indecisive to pick between the two, plus he had a soft spot for the both of them.

You talked with the two of them on either side of you. You asked them about their upcoming game but neither were excited, it was a strong team from a really competitive school. You knew they’d be fine, they practiced and played hard.

“Well, this is it. My last class, the last time I’ll see you guys. Ever. Again.” You complained dramatically.

The two boys rolled their eyes and sighed at your theatrics. They knew you were only joking around because you were extremely scared. The three of you had been best friends the longest so you could read each other very easily.

The guys didn’t blame you for trying to deviate the attention and make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. It was inevitable, being rejected by your crush would be painful and they didn’t want that for you.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. I’ve talked to C/N before, I’m pretty sure they like you!” Hyunjin reassured trying to calm you down.

“Yeah, the amount of times they’ve said you were cute made me gag.” Minho groaned, fake throwing up to show how repulsed he was.

Hyunjin was one of the softest friends you’d ever meet and he always took care in his words. He wanted to comfort you and cheer you on, just like you would with him. Minho has a soft heart too but it was often hidden. He liked teasing instead of comforting and it was helpful in its own way.

You thanked Hyunjin and hit Minho on the shoulder, reprimanding him for the gesture. You thought it was sweet! C/N must definitely like you, the boys were right.

You’d be fine.

“Okay, well I gotta go. You guys should too! Chan can only excuse your lateness so many times.” You said, while waving goodbye and waking into class.

The boys looked at you while you headed into class. Once inside, the looked at each other and started walking to the field while talking.

“They better not break her heart.” Hyunjin spit out of the blue, very unlike him since he wasn’t usually this angry.

Minho wasn’t fazed though, it was you. The both of them treasured you and their friendship with you above most things so when you were going to confess, they were worried. You were a precious part of their lives since the day they met you in elementary school as little kids on the playground. You had brought the two of them together, two extremely introverted boys whose parents hated each other.

But somehow, you had made them open up and that’s how they met the rest of Stray Kids. You had moved during elementary school and they had only met you again now in high school. Minho and Hyunjin had introduced you to the rest of the group and the rest was history. You eight were stuck at the hip.

Minho sighed, “Agreed,” He fidgeted with his straps and looked out the windows in the hallway. The park on the other side of the school reminded him of all the wonderful times you had and he wished he could go back to when the three of you were little kids.

He finally decided to change the subject by asking, “Do you wanna race to the field?”

Hyunjin stopped, and Minho stopped in reaction. Hyunjin rose his eyebrows at his best friend to challenge him. Minho scoffed and rolled his eyes, a playful smirk on his lips. The boys didn’t need to talk further to know what the other was thinking.

In a matter of seconds, the boys were sprinting towards the field while the bell rang in the background.

_______________________________________________________________________

You walked to the last row, by the window. Since your class was on the second level, you could look out the window and see the entire schoolyard. It was your favorite seat and you were so thankful that you had picked it on the first day. Your desk partner was C/N, that was how you met them. They were always asking how your day was going or just genuinely interested in what you had to say.

You arrived to your seat and sat down while putting your backpack on the back of your seat. You removed your class items from your bag and placed them out on your desk. You looked to the notebook on your desk and hissed at the way the papers were crumpled from that morning.

“Well, I didn’t take you for the type to ruin their notebook.” A voice said to you, making you look up to the speaker.

It was C/N. They were looking at you with a small grin on their face and one of their eyebrows raised in question. They were keeping their hands in their pockets and their backpack hung on one shoulder.

Your cheeks flushed pink and you looked down to try and hide the fact that you liked them so much. You took the notebook into your hands and tried to flatten it out without any luck. You signed loudly while C/N looked at your hands.

Their smile dropped and they rolled their eyes at your efforts before smirking.

They walked up behind you and placed their hands over yours and tried to flatten it again. Your heartbeat picked up and you stared up at your crush. They looked so pretty while trying to help you out. You looked to their soft lips and your cheeks heat up even more. You couldn’t take it anymore so you looked out the window next to you while C/N kept trying to help you.

You were trying to not feel their hands on yours and looking for something outside to distract yourself. Your eyes kept shifting between things outside until you saw the soccer field. Right in the middle stood Chan, Hyunjin, and Minho in their soccer uniforms. They were all smirking and laughing, while the rest of the team were confused at their actions. Undoubtedly, they had been watching your interactions with your crush.

You glared at them and were going to yell at them to stop until a loud voice from the front of the classroom voiced that class was starting. C/N let go of your hands and they instantly felt cold. They pushed out their chair and sat down next to you. They didn’t look at you while you stared at their side profile.

You quickly realized that you must have looked like a creep and stopped. You tried not to think about how close C/N’s hand was to yours on the desk or how the three boys outside were watching this entire situation fold out.

Throughout the lesson, C/N would brush their hand over yours and you would feel your face get hot. They never looked at you when they did, and they also seemed annoyed today but it was probably since this class always felt the longest.

The class dragged on for another hour and a half before it almost came to the time you would be let out. You started packing up your belongings while C/N did the same next to you. You looked out the window and saw that the boys were walking back to the school building with their equipment. For a split second, you looked at Hyunjin who coincidentally looked up too.

Hyunjin made eye contact with you and flashed you a smile. Minho saw the smile on his friend’s face and looked up to see your figure waving at the boys. He bumped Chan’s shoulder to make him look up as well. Chan and Minho looked up again to see your smiling figure and both mouthed ‘good lucks’ while Hyunjin gave a thumbs-up.

You smiled at their gestures and did a small and shaky thumbs-up before looking back at the front of the class. Your teacher was wiping down the board when she looked up to the clock. She told us that we could leave on the bell today and left the room. The class started talking amongst themselves while you and C/N stayed quiet.

You tapped C/N’s hand for their attention, and they turned their head to face yours. You were looking right ahead because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to look at them without blushing again.

“C-could you wait after class? I need to tell you something.” You stuttered out while your cheeks were warm.

C/N didn’t say anything but they nodded. They looked back at the other classmates before getting into a conversation with other few people. You were too occupied of thinking of how the next hour would play out and kept rehearsing what you would say to see what C/N was doing.

You were scared out of your mind, thoughts about their rejection all over the place. You hoped that they liked you and if they didn’t, at least they would be kind about it. C/N had been nothing but kind to you but it seemed like today was their off-day. But you were already committed to today and you weren’t going to go back on it.

The school bell rang and the other students quickly rushed out the room. Some people were slower than others, trying to wait for C/N, but eventually left when they waved their hand.

At long last, you and C/N were the only two in the room. You stayed rooted to your seat and were fidgeting with your hands. C/N grabbed your hands and looked to you.

You looked back up to them and blushed again. Gathering all your strength, you calmed down and decided to start.

“Okay, well you’re probably confused on what I want to tell you, right?” You asked hesitantly, and C/N nodded.

“Let’s go to the front of the room.”

Before you could continue, they made you stand up with them, and the both of you walked to the front of the class while your back faced the door.

You started clutching onto your backpack straps and rocking on your heels in nervousness.

You sighed and started to speak with blushing cheeks, “O-okay, well. I l-like you. A l-lot. And I’ve had a crush on you for a while, I’m s-sure you know that though. I’m pretty obvious. Um, y-you’re really kind and s-sweet and I-“

C/N started to laugh. At first it was small and barely there until it became full blown snorts and wheezing. To rid of the awkwardness, you started to chuckle too but not knowing what for.

C/N kept laughing for a few more seconds until they forcefully stopped themselves.

“Oh wow, this is just too good. I knew you were easy, but confessing in two months? Dang, I must be good.” They said arrogantly and wiping their eyes as if they had tears from laughing so hard.

Your smile dropped. Your eyes widened and you stood in shock. You couldn’t believe your ears.

Did C/N really say that?

You were shocked that your crush had just called you easy, it was insulting.

They looked at your confused expression and calmed down. With a cocky attitude and a smirking face, they answered your silent question.

“You see, Y/N. I never liked you, at all. Not even one bit. But, a friend of mine said that she’d give me 20 dollars if I could make you fall for me.”

Tears sprung from your eyes while you tried to hold them back. Your fist clenched and your nails dug into palms. You were shaking and you couldn’t even look up to face them.

“I would say I’m sorry but honestly, it was entertaining. Seeing you shy because of things I did, I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t believe that the girl that’s friends with the famous Stray Kids was so easy—“

“S-shut up! Stop it, C/N.” You whimpered out while you kept wiping the endless tears from your eyes.

Your heart was broken when the person you liked so much had said you were easy. It was disgusting to even think about. But you wouldn’t let them put down you anymore. You knew your worth, you had finally found yourself after the help of your eight best friends. You promised them you would be strong and defend yourself. No matter how much you had liked C/N, you wouldn’t let them be mean anymore.

“I-I don’t care anymore, o-okay? I don’t care about you, so just drop it!”

C/N snorted and shrugged. They looked behind you and their eyes lit up with amusement. They looked back at your shaking figure and scoffed.

“You don’t care about me? Fine, keep lying to yourself. I know how hard you fell for me. But that might have been a lie, judging by how sweet you are to your precious Stray Kids. But anyways, I have other people that are way more interesting than you. So leave.”

You gathered your last bit of courage and self-respect and stormed out of the room. You kept your head down when you opened the door because you knew who was outside. The girls that had bullied you last year, the ones C/N kept hanging out with. You should have known they were trouble when you saw them talking, or probably flirting, with everyone at school.

You had finally dealt with them a couple of months ago by yourself and they had gotten suspended for starting a fight afterwards. They rolled their eyes when they saw you crying but didn’t say a word, they wouldn’t risk getting suspended again. After turning the hall, you ran down the stairs and out of the school, not really looking where you were going.

_______________________________________________________________________

At the front of the school, the boys were all waiting for you, they had heard from Chan, Hyunjin, and Minho that you were confessing.

They were pretty excited that their best friend would now be dating someone. You had always wanted to go on cute dates and have a valentine and such. The boys couldn’t really help with that but they tried to make their hangouts at cute places they knew you would like.

They had even made last year’s Valentine’s day special. All the boys had pitched in and bought you cute ‘heart shaker’ keychain. It was a F/C-colored resin heart that had jewels inside which made a noise when it shook and you had instantly clipped it on your backpack to always cherish the day.

Jeongin heard that noise when you came down the steps from where your class was. He smirked and straightened out his uniform before turning around and away from Chan who he had been talking to.

He smiled, put his hands on his hips and asked, “So, how’d it—“

Your backpack bumped into his shoulder while you ran and Jeongin stumbled back in shock. The other boys were confused on what happened but you keep walking faster away from them. Your head was down and the boys didn’t know why you were acting like this.

Jisung ran up to you and hugged you from behind as it was the only way to stop you from running away from the boys.

The boys moved around you while you had your head down. They started asking questions of what happened and why you were running before Jisung yelled at them to stay quiet.

He could feel you shaking when he first hugged you and it became worse with all the commotion. He knew how suffocating it could be to be around so many people at once. He knew that being quiet would help, but you still weren’t answering any of their questions.

They waited a few moments until they heard your sniffles and whimpers. They all got worried and some started to get frustrated.

Who hurt their Y/N?

Jisung carefully moved his arms to your shoulders and slowly turned your body to face his. He lifted your head up and all of their hearts broke to see the tear stains on your cheeks.

He gently wiped the oncoming tears and asked, “Hey, hey, what happened?”

You couldn’t answer in clear words and broke into louder sobs into your hands. Jisung comforted you by bringing you into his chest, and awkwardly patting your back.

Minho and Hyunjin were obviously fuming. They didn’t know what happened but they knew whoever made you cry would pay. They wouldn’t let whoever hurt you get away so easily, even if it suspended them again like when they defended you against those bullies. They hadn’t told you, wanting you to think you were strong enough to defeat them, which you were! But they still had taught them a lesson.

Chan and Seungmin, usually the calmer ones in the group started talking about how they would get back at whoever did this to you. They tried talking about telling adults, but decided against that.

Felix and Jeongin where hesitant to add their advice to the conversation but started talking about how they could tell C/N to get their help.

From this statement, your body went stiff and your cries increased.

The boys were talking about C/N as if they were a good person and you realized that they still thought of them as one. You were scared that they would think of them as a good person even after everything that had happened. You knew they weren’t but it scared you that your best friends might not believe you.

While Jisung was comforting you, Changbin realized that there wasn’t much that they could do. None of them were really good at comforting people, usually that was your job when someone got hurt. He saw you go stiff and your cries get worse when the boys were talking about C/N and realized that something was wrong.

He made eye contact with Jisung who was a little nervous, as he didn’t really know what he was doing, and Changbin opened his arms slightly.

Jisung slowly let go of his hold on you and whispered into your ear that Changbin wanted to hug you. You nodded your head, and you wiped your eyes with your sweatshirt cuffs and the other boys stopped their conversation.

You slowly walked towards Changbin’s arms and fell onto his chest. Changbin held you softly and started to rub your back in comfort. Your head was on his shoulder and your eyes were closed. The tear stains on your cheeks weren’t going away but your sniffles were getting less and you seemed better.

As the other boys looked at your state, they grew disheartened. How would you come back from this? You seemed so lost and hurt that it was breaking their hearts piece by piece.

You slowly lifted your head from Changbin’s shoulder and looked up at him before looking at the others. You sniffed once more and patted your sweater cuffs to your face to get rid of any tear marks or drool.

“I-I’m sorry..” You softly said, while looking down at the pavement.

Immediately, Seungmin went to comfort you by patting your head, “Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You’re sad and it’s our duty to comfort you as our best friend.”

You chuckled and smiled up at him. Your eyes were shining with emotion and you thanked him for being so kind.

“Hey, why don’t we go get some ice cream? It might cheer you up.” Changbin offered, while taking your hand and rubbing it.

Everyone looked around and agreed. Ice cream always did the trick to cheer someone up, maybe your situation would be the same.

You laughed lightly and the others’ hearts tightened. Even in distress you were able to smile and it was one of the many reasons they loved you so much.

You nodded your head and started walking with your backpack still hanging from only one shoulder. You brought the other strap to your other shoulder when it was taken away altogether.

Felix was holding your bag on his chest and his own on his back. He looked at you and smiled, saying that it wasn’t a big deal. Chan behind him complained saying that now he had to carry Felix’s equipment bag which wasn’t fair.

The eight of you laughed and you realized that you had a perfect group of people that loved you right there. C/N might have made your heart flutter sometimes, but they had nothing on the pure joy you felt with being with the eight of them.

You don’t remember exactly how or when you had become friends with the infamous “Stray Kids”. They were well-known to cause trouble and yet you had somehow made them into the lovable and caring people they are today. But you realized that you didn’t really do anything. You just showed the school who they really were, past the name and reputation they had.

It was nice, being there in that moment. But of course, your life didn’t work that well. You knew that you’d have to tell them what happened and so you tried to calm down your breathing before starting to talk.

“S-so, what happened was that-“

A loud laugh cut through your statement and the nine of you looked to see where it was coming from. You saw C/N and your former bullies walking in your direction before noticing you. They laughed even louder and started to mock you.

“Aw, Y/N went crying to her boyfriends, huh? Must have hurt when you realized that I just did that as a game,” C/N said while his own gang of ten laughed behind him.

You looked away and wiped your cheeks more vigorously to hide the fact you had cried so much. You usually didn’t cry at school, you didn’t want people to think you were a baby or weak, not that crying is! You knew that but sometimes people were just mean.

The boys looked at your figure and started to realize what had happened. They were all upset and understood that C/N had broken your heart. They couldn’t believe that someone they had considered a friend would do this.

Hyunjin’s eyes sharpened and his fists clenched. He was looking downwards but you knew what he was thinking. You could feel the tension in the air and how all of your friends were angry at what they had just said. You also knew they would protect your name before theirs. You loved them all but you didn’t want them to get hurt or punished for something that didn’t concern them.

Minho looked questioningly at Hyunjin but knew where he was coming from. Hyunjin looked up to his friend’s face and they both understood what was going to happen. All of them couldn’t leave to fight C/N’s group, it would leave you alone. They had once thought of plan incase you ever got into trouble and it seemed this was the time to use it.

You didn’t understand what was going on but you kept seeing the boys glance at each other and nod. You knew that no one would tell you what was to happen because you would disprove, you hated violence..

You walked quickly through the boys until you stood behind Hyunjin who was closest to C/N and your bullies. You looked up at him and tugged slightly on his sleeve.

He closed his eyes and calmed himself down before looking softly at you. His eyes weren’t as harsh and he had a small smile on his lips. He patted your head and rubbed your shoulder in comfort.

“It’ll be okay,” He whispered, before turning around to Minho behind him and saying, “You should take her for ice cream. Leave this to us, yeah?”

Minho smirked at Hyunjin’s request but didn’t question it. He patted him on the back and looked reassuringly to the others before nodding. Chan tossed your backpack to him and he gave it to you. You quickly put it on, not understanding what was happening but doing it anyways.

Minho glared at C/N and their group before grabbing your wrist and walking quickly away from the scene. You were surprised at his actions and followed him until you looked back and saw both groups taking off their backpacks and rolling up their sleeves.

You tried to stop and yelled out, “W-wait, what are they doing? Minho, what’s going on? Minho! No, don’t let them fight, p-please!”

Minho wouldn’t let you see them fight, you always cried when you saw them hurt and it broke their hearts even more. He wrapped his arms around you to prevent you from running back and slowly moved back. You tried to resist by flailing your arms and you looked to where the boys were standing, Hyunjin in the middle. You stared at the back of his head, trying to find a way for him to see you and stop fighting.

Hyunjin felt your stare on the back of his head. He turned around and looked straight at you. You had tears in your eyes and you so looked helpless. He didn’t want you to feel that ever again.

He smiled at you before turning around and advancing with the rest of the boys.

You tried to yell out and see what was happening but Minho came in front of you and blocked your vision. He screamed at you to stop and just go with him. You stopped crying and were surprised by your friend. Minho didn’t scream at you unless it was serious.

You begrudgingly agreed . As much as you wanted to stop them, you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

The two of you ran down the stairs and across the street to your favorite ice cream shop. You didn’t stop running until you got right in front of it and sat down on a bench. You were breathless and couldn’t stop the tears from falling down your cheeks once more. You desperately tried to wipe them away but they just kept coming.

Minho sat down next to you and looked at your shaking form. He wished that he could take away all the pain in your heart and keep you happy. He wanted you to be happy.

He slowly removed your arms from your face and you looked up in response. You didn’t think that you cried nicely, but you looked pretty to Minho.

He rubbed your cheeks to stop the tears and held your face in his hands. He stared into your eyes and sighed.

“You really have bad luck, huh?”

You scoffed and tried to stop the smile on your lips. You knew Minho wasn’t the most outwardly affectionate person so you were confused why he was trying so hard to comfort you. You were confused why any of the boys were fighting right now, for you. Your expression must have given away your thoughts because Minho flicked your forehead in annoyance.

“Hey. Don’t think like that, we all care about you. If you get hurt, we all get hurt!” He said a little loud, and rubbing where he hurt you on the forehead. He kissed your forehead and you hummed in agreement, looking downwards.

This was the usual treatment from Minho. He always teased you and then held you tighter. It was a weird thing but you loved it nonetheless.

Minho stood up and pulled you up with him, walking into the store. When the two of you got to the register, he asked for two F/F ice creams and payed. You both took your ice creams only to drop them when you went outside and saw it occupied by six familiar faces.

“Guys!! W-what happened to you?” You worriedly called out, while running to the bench and looking between them.

Most of them looked okay, but all of them were scuffed up. Chan had a long cut on his forearm, Felix’s hair was messed up, Jisung’s blazer was nowhere to be found, Changbin’s sleeve was ripped, Jeongin was breathless, and Seungmin had scraped his elbow.

Minho came up behind you with a few paper towels and wash cloths from the ice cream shop and handed them out. You gently washed each of their cuts and scrapes while berating them for not being careful. You were thankful they hadn’t gotten more hurt, it would have probably scared you too much. After everyone was cleaned up, you realized that someone very important was missing from the group.

Hyunjin.

Where was he?

“Uh, guys? Where’s Hyunjin?” You asked while the rest of them started to stretch and walk about.

They all looked at each other and were quiet for a few minutes. They were fidgeting with their clothes or the rags before Minho’s patience ran thin.

“Hey! Where is he?” Minho screamed at them, getting angry that he didn’t know where his closest friend was.

Jeongin looked at the both of you before answering, “We don’t really know..? We were all fighting and Hyunjin yelled at us to run. We didn’t understand so we didn’t leave, and then we saw that more of C/N’s friends had come. So, Hyunjin told us to run again and he yelled some insults at them and..” He looked at the others before lowering his head and continuing, “he led them away while we ran. We really thought he was with us! But when we looked back, we couldn’t see him.”

Your eyes widened in shock and you tried to form a complete sentence. You had to find him, and fast. There was no telling what those boys would do when they cornered him. You steeled you’re nerves and looked at all of them.

“Well? What are we waiting for, let’s go save him!” You said in fake annoyance, and the rest of them chuckled before agreeing.

_______________________________________________________________________

It didn’t take you too long to find him. But with Hyunjin, you also found C/N and their friends. They had all surrounding Hyunjin at the end of a hallway when you found them.

“Hey! Back off.” You shouted at the them, at the beginning of the hallway with the rest of the boys behind you.

C/N and his friends looked at each other and stared at you while you walked towards them. You stood right in front of Hyunjin, faced them, and stretched your arms in a protective stance.

“I said, back off.”

“Why you little—“

“She said back off, losers.” Seungmin said from behind you. He and the rest of the boys had walked with you and they were all protecting Hyunjin who was on the floor, beat up pretty badly.

C/N scoffed and rolled their eyes, before looking right at you. Their look was anything but kind and they radiated annoyance. They continued to glare but you didn’t back down, not now, not ever. You cared more about Hyunjin than C/N and it would always be like that.

C/N sneered at you and your friends before walking away. C/N’s friends all looked at each other before following their leader. The group kept walking to the exit and slammed the door open. C/N paused in front of the door, and turned around.

“All for $20? Fat chance, loser. Hope you and your friends are happy.” They said and then spit at the ground in front of you.

Chan started to move in his direction before you quickly grabbed on his arm and stopped him. He looked down at you in confusion before seeing your glare at C/N. You shook your head and dropped his arm.

C/N turned around and left with his group, slamming the door afterwards.

When they finally left, you breathed out a large sigh and put your hands on your hip. You were so tired from everything that had happened but you were glad that it was at least a Friday so you weren’t plagued with homework to do.

You looked back at Hyunjin who was on the floor, only to see him staring right at your figure. You walked up to him and crouched down to his level. You saw a bad bruise blossoming on his cheek while a nasty cut on his eyebrow.

You patted his head and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m okay. Well not really but it’s fine. Though, I did think for a split second I was a goner.” Hyunjin answered while the rest of the boys laughed.

You chuckled and looked into his eyes. They seemed to have lost a spark, but you knew it wasn’t permanent. No matter how strong Hyunjin was, the entire thing must have scared him. He didn’t like violence and almost never took part in it so this was new.

“Well, I’m happy to say that you aren’t and that you’ll be okay. That cut on your eyebrow will probably be a scar.”

Your words caught Jisung’s attention and he couldn’t help but add, “Dang, now you’ll be even more of a heartthrob!”

You all laughed again while you pulled Hyunjin to his feet and Minho came up to you. He patted Hyunjin on the back before twisting his ear.

“Huh? You thought you could be a hero, huh?! Don’t be dumb! Don’t go into a fight alone, that’s what we’re here for!!” Minho reprimanded while Hyunjin clutched his ear in pain.

Hyunjin apologized and Minho let go. Hyunjin’s ear was bright red and he kept rubbing it to ease the pain. The nine of you walked out of the school to see that the sun was barely setting. The boys grabbed their backpacks they had left at the front and you all walked to your community.

It was nice being in the same community as your best friends, you could walk to each other’s houses all the time! Not that you did, most of them were too lazy to meet up and would rather just be on a nine-way call.

But you liked it.

You liked being with your friends. You realized that you didn’t necessarily need a romantic life at the moment, not when these eight boys could make you smile and laugh until your cheeks hurt.

It was a wonderful feeling.

And they felt the same with you. Having such a wonderful influence and person as their friend made them better people. They didn’t look for attention anymore and barely ever got into fights! Except if it was for you.

You were their best friend. And they were yours. Sometimes, platonic soulmates are real.

And when you walked home with them that day, you truly believed that you had been blessed with eight.

36 notes · View notes

pointy-hat-witch · 5 years

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Title: Teach me how to love Show: Haikyuu!! Pairing: Iwaizumi/Oikawa Summary: Oikawa is a lone wolf and needs company and fate has it that brings Iwaizumi and him together so they can learn to love. <3 College AU/Slow Build A/N: Took me way too long for this omg. It’s a really, really late birthday present and I’m so happy I could finally give it to them!! I hope you all enjoy it!

You can read it on AO3 if you want to! :)

The poem at the end/beginning is inspired by this post!

Once upon a time, a boy loved another boy god, how he loved him and the other boy loved him too more than he could say

Oikawa was in his 3rd Semester when he was on his way to his only 8 a.m. lecture. Fortunately, his professor seemed to like it as much as their students, so everyone knows they always show up about 15 minutes late. Oikawa didn’t have to hurry.

He bought his coffee to-go at the train station and absentmindedly looked at his phone, scrolling through some news. He just put the cup to his lips, blew the steam away that always clouded his glasses, when someone ran into him from behind.

“Ah!“ Oikawa fell flat on his face, the coffee, fortunately, spilled mostly away from him. The other person tumbled over one time and almost was on his feet again when Oikawa sat up, scratching his nose.

“Look where you’re-“ Oikawa spat out until he looked into the deepest brown eyes he had ever seen. “-going.” He finished.

“I’m sorry!” the other boy yelled as he sprung to his feet and sprinted away.

Oikawa blinked a few times until he got himself up again. He groaned. His coffee was done for, his coat sprinkled with coffee stains. Great. That’s how his day had to start.

He grabbed his bag, pushed his hands deep into his pockets and tramped to his class. This encounter woke him up more than any coffee probably would and with his frustration, Oikawa was the only one who actually paid attention in class and discussed a few things with the professor, earning him a clap on his shoulder, when he left the classroom.

“Haa.” Oikawa exhaled when he went outside again. He still had 2 hours until practice and since he didn’t have his morning coffee, his stomach was growling for something. The cafeteria it is. The way to the cafeteria was a short one since his department had their own cafeteria because it was more secluded from the other departments and most of the time there weren’t a lot of people. Oikawa welcomed this especially at 10 a. m. in the morning without coffee.

He entered through the two-winged door and rummaged through his wallet to find his student ID card. When he looked up his eyes met the deep brown eyes from this morning. He stopped dead in his tracks as did the other one.

He averted his gaze and for a moment Oikawa thought, the boy would dash. He crossed his arms and tapped with his foot on the floor, like a scolding mother. The other man exhaled and slowly closed the distance.

“Hey.” He greeted through gritted teeth, making Oikawa raise an eyebrow.

“Hey.”

“So”, he scratched the back of his head. “This morning … I didn’t mean to, uhm--“, he seemed to look for the right words.

“Didn’t mean to run into me? Didn’t mean to spill my coffee all over me? Didn’t mean to sprain my ankle?”

“You’re hurt?!” The brown eyes lit up with panic and he was already about to bow in apology.

“No.” Oikawa tutted. “But I could have been!” Theatrically Oikawa put his hands against his forehead and leaned back.

“Oh.” The other one stood up straight again. “You’re just a little shit. No need for an apology, I guess.”

Oikawa audibly snapped for air. “How rude!” he pouted.

The other student scratched his head once more and groaned. “Alright. Can I make up for it?”

“For running into me or for being rude?”

The dark brown eyes flared up and Oikawa rowed back. “Yes, you may. I want another coffee. And”, Oikawa already walked past him and gestured him to follow, “I’m Oikawa.”

Oikawa could feel how the other one rolled his eyes but he followed nonetheless.

“Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi Hajime.”

Oikawa smiled his most perfect smile. “Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi.”

Iwaizumi followed Oikawa disgruntled to the counter at which he already placed his order. “Hello, one black coffee, please.” Oikawa could feel the raised eyebrows and looked back to Iwaizumi.

“What?” He narrowed his eyes a little but kept his smile on his lips.

“Didn’t think you were one of the polite ones.” Iwaizumi shrugged, already fumbling with his wallet. Oikawa let out a fake gasp and stemmed his hands at his hip.

“Because I’m not as rude as you. It’s called decency.”

“Whatever.” Iwaizumi handed the cashier, a blonde young girl, 500 Yen with the remark “Keep the change”, and nodded Oikawa with him.

“Alright, so you’re just rude but generous. Noted.” Oikawa grinned and followed Iwaizumi through the few tables to one at which two people sat already. They looked up when Iwaizumi approached the table.

“Back already?” asked one of them and cocked his eyebrow when he sees Oikawa directly behind him.

Iwaizumi motioned Oikawa to sit down.

“Run into some … trouble.” He gestured between the three males back and forth. “Oikawa, Hanamaki, Matsukawa. Greetings and all of that.”

Oikawa was uncharacteristically silent when they approached because he had to brace himself with the sudden social interaction he wasn’t prepared to handle. He put on one of his best smiles on and sat down next to Iwaizumi, leaning back into his chair as relaxed as possible.

“Nice to meet you.”

The other boys nodded at Oikawa and at the same time giving Iwaizumi a more than questioning look which Oikawa more than happy answered.

“He had to pay a debt from this morning. Charming, isn’t he?”

Iwaizumi huffed. “If I were you, I would be careful what I’m saying. The coffee is still hot.” Iwaizumi’s eyes narrowed as he leaned on the table with his elbows. Hanamaki and Matsukawa kept their snickering hidden by their hands, but Iwaizumi still shot them a glare.

“Do you want to say something?”

“Nope. Everything’s fine.” Hanamaki continued to slurp at his coffee and Matsukawa tapped on his phone. Both highly exaggerated.

They kept talking about an hour which was more relaxing than Oikawa expected and more than once he genuinely had to laugh. With their outgoing personality, Matsukawa and Hanamaki got their hands on Oikawa’s number and made Iwaizumi share his one as well.

The next day, Oikawa either deliberately or unconsciously, he didn’t even know himself, wandered to the cafeteria at the same time as the day before and found Hanamaki and Matsukawa alone, this time. The day after he found the three of them together and the day after that he was alone with Iwaizumi who was studying intently.

Oikawa sat down on the other side of the table and looked at Iwaizumi expectantly.

“What?” Iwaizumi huffed. One of his books lay open next to his coffee and he didn’t even bother looking up.

“Aw, I was waiting for a cheerful ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ and this is what I get?” Oikawa gasped theatrically.

“You didn’t deserve one, yet.” Iwaizumi slurped on his coffee, flinching as the hot beverage burnt his tongue. Oikawa blinked and leaned over.

“Want me to kiss it better?”

Eyes wide and with a tinge of pink on his cheeks, Iwaizumi looked up. “What the fuck? No.” He shoved his hand into Oikawa’s face and pushed him away.

“Rude, Iwa-chan!”, he cried and rubbed his nose.

Iwaizumi, unimpressed, kept reading, his lips a little pursed. He already got used to Oikawa’s nicknames, since Oikawa did the same to ‘Mattsun’ and ‘Makki’.

They spent their lunch in silence, which Oikawa felt rather pleasant to his surprise. When Iwaizumi finally closed his book, exasperated leaning back, Oikawa smiled fondly at him.

“Such a dedicated student. You should get a reward.”

Iwaizumi pinched his nose and blinked but Oikawa had already left the table. He came back within a few minutes and presented Iwaizumi with a croissant sprinkled with chocolate chips.

“Thanks.” Iwaizumi said before stopping himself and Oikawa gave him one of his genuine smiles. Sometimes it felt good to do someone a favor without an ulterior motive.

“Well, then. Have to go. Don’t study too much, Iwa-chan, your brain wouldn’t take it.” He waved goodbye and as he turned around, he heard a growl and a second later a scrunched-up paper hit his head.

“Rude!” he cried with a smile on his lips.

In the next two weeks, it was almost routine to run into each other at that cafeteria. Oikawa wasn’t sure they did that on purpose or if he just never paid attention to his surroundings. But it was a welcomed change. Oikawa had resorted to keep to himself so much, a defense mechanism he adapted for not being hurt by people who were wandering out of his life in a second.

Most of the times, it was all four of them but sometimes it was just him and Iwaizumi and whenever that was the case, Oikawa’s chest filled with warmth despite the cold autumn season.

It was on a Friday, Oikawa already done with his studies he wanted just a relaxed weekend when he woke up about an hour before his alarm was set. A pain crawled into his chest, clinging around his heart, robbing him from his breath.

Oikawa sat up, leaning over and grabbing at his shirt. He gasped for air and what seemed to be an eternity but actually just a few seconds, the pain faded. Oikawa grunted, sweating. He rubbed his chest and took a few deep breaths.

“Already?” He huffed to himself. He will never get used to this pain.

It took him about all his energy to get up and get ready for uni, already braced himself to play his part for today. On his way to his class, he put on his best smile and whenever he passed someone who’s eyes lingered for a second on him, he gave them a flashing smile and a wink as he passed by.

After two lectures, his cheeks hurt from all the smiling, and when he finally got to the cafeteria he was excessively happy to rest them for a while.

He slumped down next to Iwaizumi who tried to explain Matsukawa and Hanamaki the interaction between muscles, stress, and pressure. He didn’t look up when Oikawa leaned back and slurped on his coffee.

“Hey, wanna go on a group date with some girls?” Oikawa interrupted his explanation and earned a ‘tch’ from his side.

“Where does that come from?” Hanamaki and Matsukawa almost asked in unison. “Lonely at night?” Hanamaki wiggled his eyebrows.

“I can’t hide someone like this forever”, Oikawa made a wide gesture to himself, “this is made to make people happy. In more than one way, if you know what I mean.” A smug grin on his lips. He glanced over to Iwaizumi who was surprisingly silent and just looked at him.

Matsukawa leaned back. “Well, if you want someone why do we have to tag along if you just get away with all of them?”

“Mattsun! I would never! I am a good friend and want my friends to be happy as well. And who am I do deny you such pleasure yourself?” He grinned, pulling out his phone. “I have a few numbers on hold, so, four for us?” He glanced around the table, somehow awaiting some reaction from Iwaizumi who just folded his arms.

“Four it is.” He decided and began tipping furiously and within a minute he pushed his phone back into his pocket. “Tomorrow, 2 p.m., Café Crow’s Nest.”

“How…?” Hanamaki shook his head. “How can an asshole like you get a date, four dates just like that?”

Oikawa leaned his chin on the palm of one hand and circled the rim of this cup. “First of all, I’m not an asshole, excuse you”, he blinked in played offense, “and secondly, I’m only an asshole to you all.”

His grin was smacked away by a hit to the back of his head by Iwaizumi. “Don’t feel all high and mighty ‘bout that, Trashykawa. You’re not as special as you think.”

“Iwa-chan!”

Matsukawa and Hanamaki snickered behind their hands and Oikawa looked at them equally feeling betrayed.

“Here I am, showing you the way to adulthood and this is your thanks?!” He pouted and leaned back with his arms folded.

“We can climb that staircase just fine, thank you very much, your Majesty.” Hanamaki threw scrunched up paper beads at him which Oikawa chose to ignore.

The next day, Oikawa woke up to a similar pain in his chest, heaving for air when the sun started to rise. He rubbed his chest and got up, no way he would get any more sleep. He had more than enough time to go for a run and had a nice, warm shower. He needed some time to tame his hair but after half an hour he was happy with it.

He put on some clothes that were not his usual taste, but he already knew that most people he went out with didn’t like his choice of colors and patterns. Boring.

Oikawa stood at about 1:45 p.m. in front of the station and waited for his friends. It didn’t take them long to show up and with a small, small flap to his heart he saw Iwaizumi dressed up, even if that meant, he didn’t just wear a hoodie but a button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up. Oikawa swallowed down whatever he was feeling and grinned at them.

“You all ready, boys?”

As answer, they all groaned in unison and walked past him.

“Oi!” Oikawa spun around and fell in line. “Why are you so mean?!”

“Because we love you, Oikawa.” Matsukawa deadpanned, eyes on his phone. He didn’t see the fright that was visible on Oikawa’s face for just a split second.

“Mattsun! Did you just confess your undying love to me? I am so flattered, but, y’know, I think we need more time.” Oikawa put his hand on Matsukawa's shoulder and shook his head. “Please don’t be too upset.”

Hanamaki grinned at Matsukawa. “You just got rejected my friend, from no one else but Oikawa. How does that feel?”

Matsukawa made a face and even Iwaizumi snorted at them.

The Crow’s Nest wasn’t far away, and Oikawa didn’t hesitate and entered first of them. He took a look through the room which was roomier than the outside presumed. He spotted a table with four women, all sitting side by side and were watching the door. A winning smile found its way on Oikawa’s face.

In the few seconds it took him to cross the room to them, he scanned their reaction to him. Oikawa had learned to discern between superficial and genuine interest. The woman to the far left looked at him with a spark in her eyes and Oikawa made his choice.

He started from the right to introduce himself and gave everyone his best smile. When he reached the last one, his eyes lingered just a second longer and she noticed, and Oikawa noticed that she noticed by her flushed cheeks.

Iwaizumi took the chair next to him followed by Matsukawa and Hanamaki.

“I hope, you didn’t wait for too long, my apologies.” Oikawa looked at them with almost honest concern for what Iwaizumi kicked his foot.

“Did you already order something?” Oikawa overplayed his aching foot skillfully.

“Not yet, we wanted to wait for you.” The woman in front of Oikawa, Aiko, replied. Oikawa nodded.

“Well, then it’s our duty to get you something! What do you want?”

With Oikawa at their side, the conversation went on smoothly, even though they wouldn’t admit to it, and the conversation in which all took part slowly faded to smaller conversations between two each.

Oikawa couldn’t help but glance over to Iwaizumi from time to time, but to his surprise, Iwaizumi was able to hold a smooth conversation on his own.

“Everything alright?”

Oikawa blinked, and his eyes found Aiko’s again which looked at him in confusion.

“Yes, sure, sorry, I was just thinking about something.”

Wrong thing to say. Aiko cocked her head. “Do I bore you?”

Oikawa could hear the little teasing in her voice and smiled. “On the contrary. I was just thinking about getting out of here for a little more … privacy.” Oikawa intentionally paused to give it more weight and was more than pleased when he felt Iwaizumi tense up next to him.

Aiko’s smile went back up. “Sounds good to me.” She leaned over to her friend and whispered something to her and they both giggled.

Oikawa nudged Iwaizumi at his arm and grinned with a wink. “Good luck to you, you’ll need it.” Iwaizumi’s hand darted up before Oikawa could react. “Ouch!”

They both said their goodbyes to their friends and Oikawa offered Aiko his arm when they went out of the café.

“Such a gentleman”, Aiko quipped but couldn’t hide her red cheeks. Oikawa felt how he was winning at his self-proclaimed game.

They spent the rest of the afternoon and the early evening together, walking around and talking about everything and nothing. Oikawa made sure to always steered the conversation back to her and compliment her in every way possible but tried not to overdo it. And he genuinely had some fun.

Aiko was ambitious, funny, stubborn. Everything could be perfect.

Oikawa brought Aiko back to her apartment and they shared a short kiss. Aiko smiled behind her hand and waved as she went in. Oikawa waited until she was out of sight until he dared to stop smiling.

On his way back to the train station he pulled out his phone and opened his messenger app.

-- Hanamaki changed the group name to: 3 aces and Oiks --

You (8:21 pm): rude!! y?

Makki (8:22 pm): you just came home? y not stay over? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You (8:22 pm): in contrast to some other people I have sth called class

You (8:22 pm): how did u guys do when i was gone?

Mattsun (8:23 pm): good

Makki (8:23 pm): dont play it down you make everyone else jealous

You (8:24 pm): what did I miss?

Makki (8:24 pm): Matsukawa made the biggest catch

Iwa-chan (8:25 pm): ugh

You (8:25 pm): ???

You (8:25 pm): is it himself

You (8:25 pm): makki do you mean mattsun came home alone and he made out with himself?

Mattsun (8:26 pm): wtf oikawa

Makki (8:26 pm): lol almost

You (8:27 pm): well i don’t wanna boast but i don’t think anyone than i made the biggest catch

You (8:27 pm): so you can’t make me jealous!!!!

Oikawa pocketed his phone and buried his hands with it in his jacket. He didn’t want to think about these girls for the moment. It was too exhausting.

When he came home, he changed and dropped down on his couch and finally took another look at his phone. Hanamaki and Matsukawa spammed their group chat, probably with some bad puns, and another message notification blinked in the background. From Iwaizumi. Oikawa blinked. It was pretty rare that Iwaizumi messaged him first and in private.

Iwa-chan (8:42 pm): oi

Iwa-chan (8:42 pm): so u had a good evening?

You (9:23 pm): iwa-chan!!

You (9:23 pm): were you worried?

You (9:23 pm): next time i text you when i get home!!!

Iwa-chan (9:24 pm): jump in a lake for all I care

You (9:25 pm): so mean!! youll regret saying that when i AM in a lake

Iwa-chan (9:25 pm): what? thats not what it means stupid

You (9:26 pm): i still stay correct

Iwa-chan (9:27 pm): whatever dont care

You (9:27 pm): i know u do

Iwaizumi didn’t answer, and it was read in his app that he was offline. Oikawa exhaled. Today was more exhausting than the rest of the week combined, and he was wondering why. It wasn’t for sure the first time he had to play gentleman to get his way but today was different. Oikawa felt he was way too distracted and had to concentrate more than ever.

Oikawa had to be more tired than he anticipated because he fell asleep without noticing and only woke up late in the night when his phone lit up in his hand.

His eyes cracked open and he shut them immediately, the bright light blinding him.

“Ugh.” Oikawa fumbled with his phone and through the smallest slit, he managed to dim his display.

Oikawa unlocked his phone to see a message notification by ‘Iwa-chan’. A smile crept onto his face when he opened the message.

Iwa-chan (2:13 am): go to bed

You (2:15 am): iwa-chan r u psychic?

Iwa-chan (2:15 am): I just know you

You (2:16 am): awww yes u do

Oikawa had to gather all his strength to get up from the couch, his joints stiff from laying in a wrong position. He scuffled through his apartment to flop down on his bed. Oikawa winced by the cold bedsheets and curled up under the blanket in hope it will warm up quickly.

He pulled out his phone and opened the message app with Iwaizumi.

You (2:19 am): am in bed

You (2:19 am): u should 2

Iwa-chan (2:20 am): i am just wanted to remind you aswell

Iwa-chan (2:20 am): gn

You (2:21 am): good n8 iwa-chan!!

Oikawa felt a warmth in his chest he couldn’t correlate but it didn’t feel bad, so he didn’t bother. One has to enjoy the little things. He put his phone on his nightstand and fell asleep almost instantly.

The next day was relaxed and Oikawa could sleep in, could go for a run and had a small breakfast. He checked the time when he was eating and still got time before his dinner date with Aiko. He knew he was moving fast. Most of the time, Oikawa took his time but with Aiko, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to spend more time on her than he had to.

The day went by pretty uneventful and Oikawa found himself right on time in front of Aiko’s door. Aiko opened the door and Oikawa gave her an honest smile.

“You look gorgeous.”

Aiko’s cheek turned the slightest pink and then smiled. “Thank you. You don’t look too shabby yourself.”

They walked the way to the restaurant since it wasn’t that far away from her home and the already dark sky looked stunning with all its stars. Their breath formed small clouds in front of them and by the time they arrived at the restaurant, their hands were freezing. Still, they both grinned at each other when they entered. Oikawa thought, if he would be born differently, he could be friends with her.

They were brought to a table in the back and were handed the menus.

“Wow. I’m impressed. Do you take out all the girls to such fancy restaurants?” Aiko had a sparkle in her eyes which told Oikawa that she wanted to pick on him a little bit.

Oikawa replied with the same playing smile. “Only the girls that I like.”

“I feel honored.” Aiko winked and shifted her attention to the menu.

They both ordered some pasta and a dessert and while they were waiting for their food, they made some small talk. Oikawa tried to pay the utmost attention to Aiko and always responded to everything she said.

Dinner went by almost in a blink for Aiko and like a day for Oikawa and their dessert was brought to them. Aiko exhaled in delight when she saw their soufflé.

“Wow. This looks stunning!” She had to pause for a moment to take in the beauty of their dessert but then a frown found its way on her face. “Actually”, she hesitated.

Oikawa looked up and cocked his head to his side. “Is something wrong?”

Aiko didn’t meet his gaze and fumbled with her spoon. She laughed a little nervous.

“A-are you”, Oikawa stammered, “on a diet? I mean, do what you want to do, but believe me, you really don’t have to!” He had grabbed her hand as he stumbled through his assumption.

Aiko giggled behind her other hand. “No, don’t worry. I think I can say, I’m pretty healthy.” She looked down at her hand that was held tightly by Oikawa.

“I just”, she squeezed his hand slightly which he reciprocated. “I just wanted to make sure, you take this serious.” She looked at him with determination that almost made him falter. Just almost.

Oikawa squeezed her hand a little tighter and looked her in the eyes.

“Believe me. I wouldn’t dare to just waste your time. I think”, he swallowed and licked over his dry lips, “I was never this serious about any other girl. I really … I really do like you.”

A slight blush appeared on her cheeks and her lips twisted in a smile unconsciously. She squeezed his hand as well.

“Good, because I really”, she giggled once more, “I really like y-“

Oikawa looked at her. Her eyes were pinned on him and were glistening. He gave her the most earnest smile he could muster at this point.

The glistening in her eyes stopped and a spur of confusion crossed her face. She looked at their hands and pulled her's away.

“I’m sorry, I-“, she grabbed her bag which hung over the back of her chair. “I have to go.” Almost in panic, she rushed out of the restaurant leaving Oikawa by himself. He exhaled. His heart grew warm and full and the underlying pain in his chest faded away.

By now, he was used to this but the whole ordeal still hurt nonetheless. Oikawa grabbed his fork and finished his dessert, paid their meals and headed home. On his way, he deleted Aiko’s number from his phone. She wouldn’t text him again anyway.

Oikawa was exhausted by the time he came home. He threw his coat over the back of his couch, peeled out of his clothes and fell into his bed. He didn’t want to think about Aiko and their dinner anymore. He searched with his hands for his nightstand without looking and fumbled inside the drawer. He pulled out a small bottle of pills, dropped one of them in his palm and swallowed it dry.

The sheets were still cold which made him shiver, so he rolled himself in a small burrito with his blanket and welcomed the dullness which laid over him and dragged him into a deep sleep.

That night Oikawa had the longest dream since forever. He usually never dreams or at least didn’t remember. This time, however, he did remember. The dream started with his earliest memories of his mother and him. They always had only each other but it was more than enough.

The dream fast forwarded through his childhood how they moved from place to place, his mother always meeting different men, but no one ever stayed. He saw flashes of his mother’s face smiling at him but with a hurt in her eyes, he never had understood until now.

This rather peaceful time ended when he turned 13. The pain he was already used to now, had woken him at the dead of night, rushing him into the arms of his mother. She held him crying. For him or for herself, he couldn’t tell.

Another rush of memories flashes in front of him. The girl from fifth grade in the class next to his had always talked to him with a blush on her cheeks and laughing at almost everything he said. She was okay, but he only talked to her because he had to.

“Our hearts, they always want more.” It echoed through the images.

Oikawa talked to the girl more often now and one time, it was raining heavily when they both stood outside the school. Oikawa had an umbrella in one hand and offered it to her.

“We can’t be loved. Yet we live off of love.”

Fast forward again. He sat at the table in front of Aiko, looking at her bright smile and the blush on her cheeks. He managed a smile for her as well. But he knew what will happen eventually. Aiko’s face blend together with the face of the girl from elementary school. They both looked at him with such a beautiful smile as if everything would fall in place but the next moment the ground opened up under him.

They looked at him and every ounce of warmth ceased from their eyes. And they left. Left him falling.

“We steal their hearts and as soon as they fall in love with us, they un-love us.”

He dropped onto the chair again. Blinking he reached for Aiko’s hand again just to hold another hand. He looked up and the face of Iwaizumi greeted him with the most perfect smile. His eyes were gleaming and glued on him.

Oikawa wanted to say something, but his voice refused to work. Iwaizumi threw his head back and laughed, squeezing his hand. Oikawa wanted to scream.

Iwaizumi looked back at him. Warmth and a feeling of security in his gaze. He opened his mouth and … Oikawa saw the sparkle in his eyes disappear. He let go of Oikawa’s hand. He stood up and walked out of the restaurant. Out of his life.

“We are thieves of hearts.”

Oikawa woke up with a cry on his lips and wet eyes. His heart was beating hard in his chest and a different pain settled in. His breath was hitched, and the afterimages of his dream lingered in the darkness.

When he finally calmed down a little, Oikawa pulled up his knees and buried his face in them.

“Iwa-chan…” it was only a shaky breath, but it filled his room and Oikawa felt a longing he didn’t know. Without realizing he had grabbed his cell phone and opened the chat with Iwaizumi.

You (3:34 am): u awake?

Iwa-chan (3:34 am): wtf

Iwa-chan (3:34 am): I was just about to write you to go to bed

Iwa-chan (3:35 am): go to bed

You (3:35 am): aww thanks mom

Iwa-chan (3:36 am): fuck off

You (3:36 am): y r u still awake btw?

Iwa-chan (3:37 am): had to study.

You (3:37 am): iwa-chan i know u r stupid but u shouldnt study this late

Iwa-chan (3:38 am): fuck you

Iwa-chan (3:38 am): im out

You (3:38 am): no!!

You (3:38 am): wait

You (3:38 am): pls

Iwa-chan (3:39 am): …

You (3:39 am): <3

Iwa-chan (3:39 am): whats going on?

Iwa-chan (3:39 am): i think thats the first time u said please to me

You (3:39 am): rude

You (3:39 am): i am always polite

Iwa-chan (3:40 am): so?

Iwa-chan (3:40 am): whats the matter

Oikawa pondered about answering. He had two options: either downplay it and making Iwaizumi mad to the point he really goes offline. Or he could be honest and hope Iwaizumi won’t make fun of him.

He sighed. Iwaizumi had slowly developed the ability to see through his lies, so it would be best not to anger him too much. Especially not at this time.

You (3:42 am): nightmare

Iwa-chan (3:42 am): oh

Iwa-chan (3:42 am): that sucks

Iwa-chan (3:43 am): do u want to call me?

Oikawa chuckled. He didn’t imagine Iwaizumi to be this considerate.

You (3:43 am): aww no thx

You (3:43 am): talking to u cheered me up already <3

Iwa-chan (3:44 am): then go back to sleep

Iwa-chan (3:44 am): u need all the beauty sleep u can get shittykawa

You (3:45 am): !!!

You (3:45 am): i am speechless

You (3:45 am): this is next lvl rude

You (3:45 am): i have u known that i already got scouted for various model agencies

You (3:46 am): sth u can only dream of

Iwa-chan (3:46 am): sounds like u r fine

Iwa-chan (3:46 am): now sleep

Iwa-chan (3:46 am): goodn8

You (3:46 am): good night iwa-chan!!

You (3:56 am): thanks

On Sunday, Oikawa decided to stay in. He could only handle so much social interaction and the last night with Aiko depleted his energy completely. He didn’t set an alarm and slept in. When he woke up at about noon, the sun was shining through the half-closed blinds.

He groaned. Still sleep drunk Oikawa pulled up his blanket over his head and sighed. It took him another 10 minutes to peel out of his cocoon and fished for his cell phone. To his surprise, he got a message from Iwaizumi.

Iwa-chan (10:15 am): u got lectures tomorrow?

You (12:23 pm): good morning to u too

You (12:23 pm): one in the afternoon

You (12:23 pm): y?

Oikawa closed the messenger app and scrolled through his social media pages to have a small update but when he saw everyone having a good time, his mood was soured and he pushed himself out of his bed. He took his time in the bath, made himself a generous breakfast and sat down on his couch to watch something, anything, while eating.

His phone lit up after some time and flashed ‘Iwa-chan – 1 new message’ over the screen. Oikawa didn’t bother with the TV and unlocked his phone to see the message.

Iwa-chan (1:09 pm): got some time tonight?

You (1:10 pm): iwa-chan

You (1:10 pm): r u asking me for what i think u r asking for?

Iwa-chan (1:10 pm): what are u

Iwa-chan (1:11 pm): hell no!

Iwa-chan (1:11 pm): i already regret asking

You (1:11 pm): u didnt even wait for my answer!!

Iwa-chan (1:12 pm): ?

You (1:12 pm): of course id like to spent my free evening with u iwa-chan!!

Oikawa already learnt that spending time with Iwaizumi didn’t cost any social energy and he could spent all his time with him. He kind of hoped it was the same for Iwaizumi as well.

Iwa-chan (1:12 pm): it would be late

Iwa-chan (1:12 pm): there is a meteor shower at about 11:30

You (1:13 pm): !!!!!

You (1:13 pm): iwa-chan!!!

You (1:13 pm): yes!! where?

Iwa-chan (1:13 pm): the forest behind my apartment

Iwa-chan (1:14 pm): there is a clearing and we could get a good view

You (1:14 pm): u r an angel <3

You (1:14 pm): I bring blankets

You (1:14 pm): and food

Iwa-chan (1:15 pm): sure i bring flashlights

Iwa-chan (1:15 pm): and sth warm to drink

You (1:15 m): cant wait!!

You (1:15 pm): see u ton8 <3

Iwa-chan (1:16 pm): see ya

Oikawa felt giddy. It was one thing meeting Iwaizumi at the cafeteria about every day and another meeting with him in the dead of night to watch the stars. Sometimes even he could have some luck.

He finished his breakfast with a great appetite and right after he looked for some food he could make and bring for tonight. He looked through his fridge and cupboards and after some online research, he decided to make some sandwiches, sausages, some vegetables, and rice.

Fortunately, Oikawa had everything at home and could get to work right away. The sandwiches had different toppings, some had cheese, some had tuna, and some had meat. He wasn’t sure what Iwaizumi liked so he prepared a bit of everything. The sausages he cut in and when they were roasted, they curled up and formed small octopus. For finger food, Oikawa cut some cucumber, carrots, and tomatoes.

When the rice was cooked, Oikawa wanted to fill it in their bento boxes but at the last minute decided differently. He found some leftover nori leaves and tried forming onigiris. It didn’t work as easy as he thought, but he was satisfied. He grinned to himself.

Their bento boxes were ready, and it was only early afternoon. Oikawa groaned. The time was crawling so slowly, it drove him nuts. He packed his bag with some blankets and everything was ready in front of his door, if only it wasn’t just past 5 pm.

The next two hours, Oikawa spent sitting on his couch, watching TV and checking his phone every other minute. These were some very, very long hours. But, alas, the time finally reached about 10 pm and Oikawa sprung up. He decided he’s going to be fashionable early at Iwaizumi’s apartment and then they can go together.

The bus drive to Iwaizumi took about 20 minutes and about 10.30 pm Oikawa stood in front of Iwaizumi’s apartment, ringing the doorbell obnoxiously until Iwaizumi’s voice growled through the intercom.

“Stop it, Shittykawa.”

“Aww, how did you know it was me?”

“Only one person that can be this annoying with just ringing.”

But even though there was a small bite in his voice, the door buzzed open and Oikawa chirped “Thanks!” before entering the apartment complex.

When Oikawa stood in front of Iwaizumi’s door, he realized that his palms were a little bit sweaty and with a confused look on his face, wiped them dry on his pants. He knocked on the door and when Iwaizumi opened, still with a small scowl, a smile found its way naturally to Oikawa.

“Good evening, Iwa-chan. Don’t you want to invite me in?”

Iwaizumi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m beginning to regret this”, he mumbled but, again, despite his words stepped aside and beckoned Oikawa with a nod to come inside.

Iwaizumi’s apartment was pretty much what Oikawa expected. It was a one-room-apartment with an open kitchen to the living room. It was small but enough for one. There were no unnecessary items, no décor, no plants but it was mostly tidied up and everything had its place.

“You’re early.” Iwaizumi remarked as he put a flashlight into his backpack which looked already packed as well.

“Nothing to do anymore. And then I had the brilliant idea that I could come over in case you’re bored.” Oikawa roomed through the small space and inspected everything with curious eyes, to which Iwaizumi crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

“Y’know, people text each other to ask stuff like that beforehand.”

“Where is the fun in that? I surprised you!” Oikawa exclaimed and beamed at him.

“You sure did.” Iwaizumi sighed. “Well, if you want, we can either spent another half an hour here or can go outside already.”

Oikawa was inspecting the awfully small bookshelf and cocked his head to one side.

“Let’s go outside. You have nothing fun here anyway.” With a spring in his step, Oikawa darted away from Iwaizumi who was already on the verge to throw a punch outside the door.

Oikawa stifled a laugh and walked slowly towards the stairs, slow enough for Iwaizumi to catch up. Iwaizumi was dressed similarly to Oikawa with a scarf and a hat but instead of a coat an oversized hoody which looked as comfy as it was warm. Oikawa tried not to stare too obviously at how cute Iwaizumi looked in it.

They stayed quiet in the staircase since it was already late and despite Oikawa gladly stir up some trouble, he wouldn’t want Iwaizumi to get noise complaints.

Outside, Iwaizumi tucked on Oikawa’s sleeve and nudged him around the apartment complex which was right in front of a sinister looking forest. Oikawa swallowed hard.

Iwaizumi huffed what could only be interpreted as a laugh and Oikawa shot him a glare. Ostentatiously Oikawa walked in front of Iwaizumi through the trees and adjusted his course when Iwaizumi tucked again at his sleeve.

“Wanna hold hands?” Iwaizumi teased behind him and Oikawa pushed his hands into his pockets.

“Well, if you’re afraid because it’s dark or something, I could consider it.”

“I’m not the one who’s afraid.” Iwaizumi mumbled under his breath which Oikawa pretended not to hear.

When an owl, however, flew up the trees, flapping its wings rapidly and “Uh-hu” ’d, Oikawa jumped a little only to get Iwaizumi bumped into him.

“Oi…” Iwaizumi started but was interrupted by a flustered Oikawa, babbling out: “I’m not afraid! You are!”

For a second, Iwaizumi reconsidered but shook his head to himself. Without looking at Oikawa, he grabbed his hand and now led the way. Oikawa was too startled by this action that for a moment he didn’t remember to move or to breath, for what matters.

He stumbled behind Iwaizumi, eyes fixed on their hands which gradually got warmer and with a defeated huff, Oikawa squeezed their hands together. Iwaizumi didn’t look back, but he didn’t let go, too.

They probably walked for only about 10 minutes which felt like hours to Oikawa. For one, because he was so fixed on their hands, which felt oddly good. Then again, it was cold and it slowly crept through their clothes and Oikawa just wanted to wrap his blanket around him.

As if his prayer was granted, the trees opened up wide and a small clearing appeared. Oikawa’s eyes went as wide as the moon that illuminated their way and gaped at the sky, which was clear and presented its stars like there was nothing else in the world.

“Wow.” Oikawa whispered. It felt wrong to speak too loudly in this setting, well, at least for him.

“Oi, blankets?” Iwaizumi shuffled his feet to warm them up and his face was already red from the cold.

“Ah, yes. Wait just a second.” Oikawa had to tear of his gaze from Iwaizumi’s red cheeks and fumbled with his bag. He pulled out one thin blanket to sit on and two thicker ones, which he handed to Iwaizumi. It took them less than a minute to spread the blanket and bundle up in their blankets beside each other.

For a while, they sat in silence, neither uncomfortable nor forced. The sky was clear and their little space between the trees felt kind of sacred, so they didn’t want to disturb the silence.

At least, until the cold crept into their bones and Iwaizumi pulled two flasks out of his bag and without looking at Oikawa mumbled: “Didn’t know if you liked tea, too. You’re always drinking coffee but I thought … y‘know, tea fits this a bit more.” The last bit was one word muttered together and Oikawa felt already warm inside without anything to drink.

“You’re so thoughtful!“ he grinned. “Then we start with tea and when we’re getting tired, not me just for your information, we can switch to coffee. Sounds good?“

Iwaizumi nodded and pulled out two mugs as well, in which he poured in the hot liquid.

“I only had green tea, deal with it.”

“As long as you didn’t put in any sugar.” Oikawa took the offered mug and blew at the steam. His fingers finally felt alive again.

“Why would somebody do that?” Iwaizumi cocked his eyebrow as he poured himself a cup of tea as well.

“Good answer.”

They both blew on their tea and sipped it occasionally, burning their lips but neither complained. A few minutes later, Oikawa put down his mug and pulled out of his own bag two bento boxes and with a slight blush on his cheeks gave one to Iwaizumi.

“Just some snacks … I didn’t know what you liked. And my first try to make some onigiris, feel honored!” he exclaimed. Without looking at Iwaizumi, he opened his own bento box and his face fell a little.

The onigiris weren’t formed properly, so after being pushed from side to side with the other food, they fell apart.

“Well, that calls for some more practice.” Oikawa looked over to Iwaizumi and started to say: “You don’t have to--”

But Iwaizumi was already in the process of pressing the onigiris together some more and ate them. When he felt Oikawa looking at him he turned to him, his cheeks stuffed.

“Whaff?“

Without warning, Oikawa burst into a fit of laughter. Relief and the view combined made his eyes tear up. Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes and had to hold both their mugs out of danger of Oikawa’s trembling body.

„You’re so dumb.“ Iwaizumi shook his head and gave Oikawa his mug back when he whimpered his last bubble of laughter and swept away some tears.

“Says the right one.” Oikawa giggled and earned a slap on the back of his head but it lacked power, so he just yelped a reflexive “Ouch!” but it didn’t hurt at all.

Just when Iwaizumi was about to say something, the first yellow stripe flew above them. They both jerked their heads up and within seconds, a next meteorite flew through the sky. And the next one. And the next one. And then there were a few next to each other and they illuminated the sky like flashlights.

In awe, Iwaizumi and Oikawa forgot to eat and drink for a few minutes and just stared until their necks were stiff. They started slurping at their tea and snacked on their food and every so often when an especially long tail on a meteorite flew above them, Oikawa breathed out an excited “Oh!” or “Ah!” He didn’t notice that when that happened, Iwaizumi’s eyes rather looked at his face than at the meteorites.

For about half an hour the meteorites showered above them and it grew colder by the minute despite their hot drinks and without really noticing, they scooted over to sit nearer together. So, when the meteorites finally faded back into the night sky and they grinned at each other, their faces were so close they almost touched each other.

“Uhm…” Oikawa’s heart stuttered for a second and his usual eloquent self showed its worst side.

Iwaizumi’s eyes glanced down for a split second, but of course, Oikawa noticed and finally broke his stare and skidded back a few centimeters. Iwaizumi cleared his throat and took another sip from his now empty cup.

“Well … that was amazing!” Oikawa ignored what just happened and stared at the sky. “Just amazing!”

Iwaizumi nodded in agreement. He wasn’t one who cared about such things, but he had to admit it was nice to see something like this in person once in a while.

“Yeah, it shuts you up pretty good.” Iwaizumi shrugged.

“Iwa-chan! Rude!” Oikawa gasped in surprise. “Can’t you just say something nice for once?” he pouted.

Iwaizumi continued plucking on his sandwiches and stayed silent. Oikawa sighed and finished his drink. There were just two sandwiches left so he grabbed one and took a huge bite from it.

“I like spending time with you.”

Oikawa almost choked on his food and his head spun around, he almost got whiplashed. Iwaizumi kept his eyes on his hands which were just pulling bread and letting it fall to the ground.

“Iwa-chan …” Oikawa swallowed. “That’s wasting food! If you’re not going to eat it don’t just throw it away!” Oikawa tried to grab Iwaizumi’s sandwich.

“What?!” Iwaizumi, on the other hand, just hold his arm upwards so that Oikawa didn’t reach it. They both had slightly red cheeks but ignored it. “I’m not … what? No, I’m not wasting anything?”

“You just threw bread away!” Oikawa pointed at the crumbs on the blanket which were now scattered all over it.

“I’m … oh. Sorry.” Iwaizumi scratched the back of his head. “Didn’t realize I was doing that.”

“Hmpf.” Oikawa pouted and continued eating his sandwich but this time with a smile on his lips.

They stayed there for about 20 more minutes, finishing their sandwiches and then staring at the sky for a little bit longer until the cold finally won and they packed their stuff. Again, Iwaizumi lead the way with his flashlight followed by Oikawa. He noticed after some time, that Iwaizumi’s free hand was always pointed towards Oikawa. Another smile found its way on Oikawa’s and stayed there for the rest of the way.

When they arrived at Iwaizumi’s apartment complex, Iwaizumi shouldered his bag to the other side and fumbled at its straps.

“So, uhm, are you getting home alright? It’s pretty late already.”

Oikawa blinked and finally pulled out his phone to look at the time. “2 am?!” he almost yelled. Time flew by like nothing. Oikawa smacked his own forehead.

“Well, yeah, no. The last bus was at 1:45.”

Iwaizumi nodded slowly and nodded at the building. “Wanna stay over then? I mean, you’re welcome to walk home or to take a taxi.”

Oikawa arched an eyebrow. “If you’re already that courteous, don’t end it with being a dick!” But despite his words, Oikawa couldn’t help but grin and walked towards the building. “But yes, I’m gonna take that offer.”

They walked upstairs to Iwaizumi’s apartment, which Oikawa once again, eyed dismissively and earned another hit against his arm.

“Are you gonna be picky, now?”

“No, no!” Oikawa held up his hands, laughing nervously.

“Hm.” Iwaizumi disappeared in his own room shortly and came back with a pillow and a blanket which he unloaded on the couch.

“Don’t even think about asking for the bed. Do you want a shirt to sleep in?” Iwaizumi shot Oikawa down who was already opening his mouth in protest.

“Uh, yeah, a shirt would be nice.” Oikawa placed his own bag against the couch and hung his jacket up on the wardrobe. Iwaizumi came back with one of his shirts and threw it in Oikawa’s face.

“There you go. Bathroom is there”, he pointed at the door opposite to his room, “if something’s wrong try to solve it yourself first and then wake me up.”

“Iwa-chan, charming as ever.” Oikawa giggled. “Don’t worry, I won’t disturb your beauty sleep.” Oikawa earned another scowl from Iwaizumi.

“Good night, Shittykawa.”

“Good night, Iwa-chan.”

Oikawa waited for a few more seconds after Iwaizumi went into his room before he exhaled. Why was he so tensed up? He shook his head and changed into the other shirt and threw his clothes over one of the chairs.

The couch was comfortable to some degree and he was thankful, that it was rather warm in the apartment and the blanket and pillow were almost as fluffy as his own. Another warmth spread out within him and Oikawa stared at the small coffee table in front of him.

His eyelids were heavy, and he felt sleep coming, but this strange warmth kept him awake for some time. This will be a problem for his future self.

The next morning came way too fast and the sun shined through the thin curtains, waking Oikawa up. It was still early, so Oikawa, a rational human being, bombarded Iwaizumi with text messages, that he is, in fact, awake and bored.

It took about 5 minutes until Oikawa heard some dull steps and then Iwaizumi’s door was pulled wide open.

“Assykawa.” Iwaizumi growled.

“Oh, you’re awake, too? What a coincidence!” Oikawa grinned his dazzling smile but then had to run away from Iwaizumi who chased him through the whole apartment.

The rest of the morning was rather calm. After they finally settled, mostly Oikawa admitting defeat after Iwaizumi pushed him outside the balcony and closed the window, they had a hearty breakfast with coffee, rice, eggs, vegetables and a little bit of meat.

They ate in silence, took turns with the bathroom, changed and then Oikawa headed home. It was almost domestic.

On his way home, Oikawa felt the same warmth in his chest again but he couldn’t place this feeling anywhere. So, instead of really thinking about it, he put it into a box and pushed it deep inside his head where he never had to think about it again.

------

After this day, his heart ached in shorter intervals than ever. Oikawa hooked up with girl after girl, made them fall for him as fast as he could and after about a week the pain already came back. It made Oikawa panic a little bit.

Normally, he could live with it for a few months without problems and now he burnt through all his contacts in two months. Between his hook-ups, he met up with Iwaizumi on a regular basis. They spent more time together, eating lunch at the cafeteria, studying at their apartments, went to the cinema or shopping. And every second, Oikawa felt this warmth and the pain was gone for a little while.

Of course, Iwaizumi, as well as Hanamaki and Matsukawa, noticed Oikawa’s increase of dates and the shortness of these girls. But whenever they asked him about it, Oikawa just made excused and was pretty evasive about the topic. Since he didn’t know what was going on either.

Until.

Oikawa was sitting with Hanamaki and Matsukawa at one of the tables at the back of the cafeteria when Iwaizumi walked inside followed by some girl. She held his hand and smiled at something he said.

All three of them saw it this instantly and both Hanamaki and Matsukawa grinned while Oikawa froze up inside. Literally. His chest cooled off so much he almost choked.

Iwaizumi let go of the girl’s hand and pointed at their table and she nodded. She went to the front desk while Iwaizumi made his way to them. When he came up to them, his cheeks were burning red, no matter how hard he tried to calm his nerves.

“Aha?”

“Ahaaa?”

Iwaizumi both shot them a glare which they just ignored and kept staring at him.

“Th-that’s Harumi.” Iwaizumi ignored that he just stuttered but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Your—

--girlfriend?” Hanamaki finished Matsukawa's question, both with a disgusting smile on their lips.

Unconsciously, Iwaizumi’s eyes found Oikawa’s and he swallowed.

“Yeah.”

Oikawa didn’t know what to do. It didn’t happen often that he was totally at lost at what to do or what to say. So, he smiled. He just smiled the most bright, dazzling, fake smile he could muster.

“Congrats. Finally growing up, I see.” He slurped at his coffee and ignored his burnt tongue. It wasn’t what he wanted to say anyway. Better shut up.

“Uh, yeah.” He sat down next to Oikawa and a minute later, Harumi walked up to them a little shy.

“Hi, guys.” She waved at them and sat down on the other side next to Iwaizumi, handing him a coffee.

“Thanks.” Iwaizumi took the cup and his thump nervously played with the lid.

The rest of the conversation went by in a haze for Oikawa. He recognized Harumi from their group date a few months back and couldn’t hate himself more. He had introduced them basically.

He kept slurping his coffee and answered question mostly with a nod or at least as short as possible. He didn’t trust his brain at the moment.

20 Minutes went by as if they were days and Oikawa finally stood up. “Gotta go. It was nice meeting you, Harumi-chan!” he said brightly and nodded to the other guys, and without looking at Iwaizumi walked to his next class.

Or at least wanted, a few moments later, Iwaizumi caught up and kinda cut off his way.

“Hey.” His hands were pushed deep into his pockets.

Oikawa blinked and grabbed his cup a little more tightly. “Iwa-chan? What’s the matter? It isn’t nice to leave your girlfriend alone with your friends. You know, Makki and Mattsun are gonna ask her very personal question right now.” He talked without thinking. He didn’t want to hear what Iwaizumi was about to say.

“Yeah, sorry, I just”, his eyes roamed the room, “y’know, I’m sor—”

“Don’t.” Oikawa interrupted him. He knew it was too hasty, and his voice broke a little. “Don’t be, Iwa-chan. You can do whatever you want and, contrary to popular believe, don’t have to report back to me.”

Iwaizumi nodded and finally looked at Oikawa. They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds until Iwaizumi nodded again.

“Yeah, uhm, have fun at your lecture, I guess.”

“Thanks.” Oikawa walked outside, or rather, fled the scene. Outside, he had to take some deep breath to push back the stinging tears in his eyes. Why would he cry? Shouldn’t he be happy for his best friend?

-----

The next weeks were hell. Whenever they met up, Harumi was part of them. It was like Iwaizumi couldn’t do anything without her anymore. She practically lived with him already and it made Oikawa sick.

At first, he tried to be nice and just accept it. Tried to be nice to her, to make her laugh, to make Iwaizumi not feel sorry anymore for whatever he thinks he had to apologize for. But it was so, so exhausting.

Every time, Oikawa came home tired and burnt out. There was nothing left, that could help his aching heart. It hurt almost every day. Not the pain he felt when his heart craved love but some other pain. And nothing, just nothing, could sooth it anymore.

He grew distance. He couldn’t bare seeing Iwaizumi and Harumi together anymore. He made excuses when they agreed to meet up, buried himself in his books and his sport. Running away was something, he was pretty good at.

At one morning, it was pouring cats and dogs and Oikawa was already awake at 5 am, sitting in front of the window and watching the rain, when his phone lit up.

Iwa-chan (4:58 am): U awake?

Oikawa considered ignoring it for the moment but, like so often, he couldn’t just ignore Iwaizumi.

You (4:58 am): Good morning! Since when are you an early riser??

Iwa-chan (4:58 am): since u made it ur goal to always wake me up at this godforsaken hour

You (4:58 am): the early bird catches the worm!

Iwa-chan (4:59 am): the early bird can fuck itself

You (4:59 am): Iwa-chan! Language!

Iwa-chan (4:59 am): whatever

Iwa-chan (4:59 am): …

Oikawa looked at his phone, knowing that Iwaizumi didn’t just text him for fun. And he dreaded what was coming. He didn’t want to talk about anything.

Iwa-chan (5:01 am): can we meet up today?

Iwa-chan (5:01 am): just us 2

You (5:03 am): why? dunno if i have time

Iwa-chan (5:03 am): I know you have time

Iwa-chan (5:03 am): we need to talk

You (5:03 am): about what?

Iwa-chan (5:04 am): about you

Iwa-chan (5:04 am): and the way ur acting

You (5:04 am): ??

Iwa-chan (5:04 am): don’t give me that

Iwa-chan (5:04 am): u know exactly what i’m talking about

You (5:05 am): sorry iwa-chan

You (5:05 am): maybe some other time

You (5:05 am): gotta go

Iwa-chan (5:05 am): don’t you dare

Oikawa locked his phone and threw it on the couch. This was something he couldn’t deal with right now. He exhaled deeply a few times but his racing heart wouldn’t calm down. He grabbed a thin jacket and put it on as he walked outside. He needed to get whatever this was out of his system and nothing worked better than a run. Even though it was pouring.

As soon as he stepped outside the front door, his hair and shoulders were soaked. He made a grimace and grumbled under his breath.

The first steps were just light walking to warm up but he soon was running at a fast pace. He sure wasn’t running away, not him. No.

He made a turn to the right on the next crossroad and about 10 meters in front of him, Iwaizumi was on his bike.

Iwaizumi hit his breaks and Oikawa sprung to the side and both stopped next to each other.

“What the-? Are you crazy?!” Iwaizumi almost shouted at Oikawa. “Get inside, you’re gonna catch something in this rain.”

Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi’s wet hair and soaked clothes. He must have texted him on his way here. His lips almost curled up to a smile. But he didn’t.

“Same to you.” Oikawa shrugged and was about to continue his run when Iwaizumi grabbed his arm, stopping him.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me.”

“Iwa-chan, I can do what I want, you’re not my mom.” The fake carefree tone of his almost made him vomit. Iwaizumi probably thought the same, judging by his face.

He got off his bike and leaned it against the brick wall, still holding onto Oikawa as if he could run away as soon as he would let go.

“Tell me what’s going on. You know, I can’t read people, let alone minds. Especially not yours.” The last part was more silent and coated with something akin to hurt and it clenched at Oikawa’s heart.

“Nothing’s going on. You must imagine things.”

Iwaizumi shot him a glare. “Don’t fuck around, Oikawa.”

“I’m not.” Another shrug. “I have a lot on my plate right now, so, I’m sorry if I rubbed you the wrong way.”

Iwaizumi shook his head. “No. You’re not the same. Since I”, Iwaizumi swallowed, “since I started dating Harumi, you’re distant.”

When her name fell, Oikawa clenched his jaw. He didn’t want to hear Iwaizumi say her name with affection and what not.

Oikawa snapped his arm back. “I’m not.” There was nothing but defense in his voice and Oikawa knew, there was nothing he could say to convince Iwaizumi otherwise. He turned around and walked back to his apartment. His skin was finally feeling the coldness of the rain.

Iwaizumi was not having any of his shit. He took his bike and shoved it into Oikawa’ back.

The rain poured down on them and Oikawa could laugh at the utter ridiculousness at the situation. He turned around and stemmed his hands into his hip and glared at Iwaizumi.

“Now what? Are you happy?!”

“Why would I?! You are making a big deal out of it!”

Oikawa gritted his teeth and looked up at the sky. Frustration, anger, jealousy … Oikawa couldn’t place his feelings that were all over the place and it made his eyes sting. He wasn’t sure what was rain and what were tears that were streaming down his face and he didn’t care.

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to! But you-“

“I what?! Huh?” Iwaizumi raised his arms, tossing his bike to the side. “Yes, I went out with this girl. You do it all the time!”

He was right. Oikawa was painfully aware that Iwaizumi was right, but he just didn’t know what to do. He just wanted to get this out of his chest whatever it was. He looked back at Iwaizumi and he couldn’t tell if Iwaizumi cried as well. Did he ever see him cry? All he could tell was the poufy eyes and the red nose.

Oikawa was about to say something when time seemed to slow down for him.

Ba-dumm.

It was then that he realized. He looked at the deep brown eyes, that were looking at him so furiously but hurt at him. The usually spiked up hair that was drenched with rain and hung down sloppily. The hands that were clenched to fists. Every little detail, Oikawa absorbed at that moment.

And the little box he stored away in the back of his head, snapped open. He couldn’t deny it anymore and he finally, finally, realized all his feelings. The warmth, the pain, everything.

“I’m in love with you.”

It was only a whisper, but he knew Iwaizumi heard it.

Ba-dumm.

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened. Oikawa looked at them growing bigger than ever and almost saw that inside of Iwaizumi the same box sprung open and his eyes filled with tears and warmth and everything good. Oikawa almost felt it oozing out and unconsciously his hand reached out, he just wanted to hold Iwaizumi right now. Nothing more.

The next moment, Oikawa’s chest was filled with so much joy, warmth, and utter happiness, he never felt in his life before. He felt whole.

Iwaizumi’s hand loosened. The brown eyes, that were just looking at him with a glimmer in them, went dull. And Oikawa knew. He stole Iwaizumi’s heart.

but the world didn’t love them.

#Haikyuu #Haikyuu!!#HQ #IwaOi #Oikawa #Iwaizumi #Oikawa Tooru #iwaizumi hajime #fanfiction #college AU #first love #slow build

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meercacchi · 6 years

Text

Teammates in Arms

Rating: G

Genre: platonic fluff, friendship

Pairings: platonic KiKasa, platonic Kise/Kaijou

Characters: Kise Ryouta (main), Kaijou team (main), Kasamatsu Yukio, Moriyama Yoshitaka, Kobori Kouji, Hayakawa Mitsuhiro, Nakamura Shinya

Summary: He knows why he wants to win with this team. Alternatively, Kise has a rough day and his team has his back.

Notes: This is a (belated) fluffy fic for Kise’s birthday! I love Kise, I love Kaijou, and I especially love writing them together. They’re such a sweet team~

Kise stumbles into the locker room feeling like he has careened down several flights of stairs while sleepwalking—sore, feeble, and exhausted. His normal sleep schedule had been ruined by a late but important shoot the previous night, he hadn’t eaten breakfast or lunch thanks to fans excitedly crowding him about said shoot, and he’d spent the entire day dozing through classes and being scolded by teachers. He’s been looking forward to practice all day; at the very least, he thinks, he has basketball to take his mind off things.

But, because fate hasn’t finished dealing him a poor hand, Kise’s bad ankle is smarting by the time scrimmages begin. Frustrated, he forces himself through the pain to throw down a dunk, but once he lands, his vision blacks out and his entire foot feels as if it's on fire. When he comes to, he tries to play it off as if he needs to tie his shoe, but Kasamatsu is too quick for that. The captain calls a hasty timeout, approaching Kise with a somber expression that he can’t look at for fear of what else it might contain.

“Kise, is it your ankle?” Kasamatsu doesn’t sound angry or disappointed, but his words are still daggers to Kise’s chest. Your ankle. The cursed liability that only serves as a constant nagging reminder of his failures. “We shouldn’t take any risks, so just—”

“I’m fine!” Kise insists, flashing the biggest, brightest smile he can muster as he tries to stand. “Let’s just keep playing!”

Kasamatsu sees through the façade, just as he always does. “Not like this we aren’t.” He slings Kise’s arm around his shoulders to help lift him to his feet before turning to address the two other worried third years. “Moriyama, water! Kobori, get an ice pack!”

Try as he might, Kise can’t put any weight on his bad ankle to convince the older boy otherwise. He hops on one foot as Kasamatsu patiently guides him to the bench, his shoe squeaking against the court and drawing everyone’s attention. He grits his teeth and bows his head in shame—what kind of ace is he, letting down his team even in practice?

“Here’s… oh, crap.” Moriyama immediately sets the water bottle down, panicked by Kise’s overbright eyes. “Hey, are you—”

“Don’t cry, Kise!” Hayakawa exclaims, probably more loudly than he should, and offers his teammate a white towel. “Here!”

“That… probably has sweat on it.” Nakamura pushes up his glasses, regarding Kise with worry. “Maybe paper towels would be better?” Some of the players chime in at that, offering to run to the locker room to get some.

“Guys, give him some space,” Kobori chides gently, kneeling to strap the ice pack around Kise’s ankle. The cold soothes the aching joint into numbness, but his heart still twists painfully, laden with guilt and regret.

“Is it still hurting a lot?” Kasamatsu asks, alarmed by the rogue tears running down Kise’s cheeks. “We can get the nurse—”

Kise immediately shakes his head, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “N-no, it’s not that bad. It’s just…” He stares at his ankle rather than anyone else in the room, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry I can’t practice.”

“Kise, this is out of your control,” Kobori responds kindly, reaching out to pat the top of his head. “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

“Dammit,” Kasamatsu curses, upset at himself. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you start practicing so soon…”

“Alright, Captain, let’s not start another pity party,” Moriyama teases good-naturedly, placing his hands on Kasamatsu’s shoulders before looking at Kise. “Let’s just agree that no one is blaming anyone for anything, and that includes you, Kise.”

“We’ll all work extra hard!” Hayakawa assures Kise, giving him a none too gentle clap on the shoulder. “That way, we’ll be even better when you come back!” The second and third string players all chorus in agreement.

“You didn’t look too great during warmups. I can already tell you didn’t sleep, but…” Kasamatsu frowns, feeling Kise’s forehead with the back of his hand. “You’re clammy. Have you eaten?”

“Of course I—” Kise withers under the captain’s stern gaze, sheepishly fidgeting with the material of his shorts. “No… I didn’t have time…”

“I have some leftover rice balls from today, if you want them,” one of the second stringers, Sanada, pipes up, coming forward. “It’s not much, but…”

The mere mention of any food is enough to win Kise and his stomach over. “That would be great, Sanada-kun!” He flashes the fellow first year a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

Sanada grins, giving him a thumbs up. “No problem! Glad I can help.”

“Don’t forget to drink this either,” Nakamura reminds him, handing him the water bottle Moriyama had brought earlier.

“Well…” Kasamatsu heaves a sigh. “Food isn’t usually allowed in the gym, but since Coach isn’t here today and I know you won’t shut up if I force you to leave, you can eat in here.” He gives Kise a warning look. “Just don’t leave a mess, alright? You’re getting laps if I find even one grain of rice.”

“You can count on me!” Kise looks around at the whole group, warm from their kindness. He can’t keep the beam off his face, and if anyone notices that his eyes are watery again, they don’t mention it. “Thank you, everyone. I promise we’ll all play together again soon!”

“That’s what we like to hear.” Kasamatsu raises his voice, reclaiming authority. “Alright, back to practice! Same teams!”

“Yes, captain!”

The rest of the players head for the courts, joined by Sanada once he gives the plastic-wrapped rice balls to Kise. Kasamatsu stays back for a few moments, surveying the gym to make sure everyone is in place—like a pride lion, Kise thinks, courageous yet compassionate. He can’t imagine the team without him, and now, he realizes he couldn’t be more grateful to have Kasamatsu as his captain.

“Thank you, Kasamatsu-senpai.”

Unexpectedly, Kasamatsu chuckles as he looks back at Kise. “It’s weird to hear you sound so sincere.”

“Hey!” Kise pouts, mostly theatrical but a little offended. “I really meant it!”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing. It’s nice, honestly.” Kasamatsu ruffles Kise’s hair fondly. “Just take care of yourself, alright? And lean on us a little bit, too—being teammates means more than just passing to each other on the court.”

“I didn’t get that at first, but I’m understanding it more and more now, senpai,” Kise replies honestly. “And I’m going to hold up my end of that, too.”

The corner of Kasamatsu’s mouth quirks into a small crooked smile. “Well, I look forward to seeing how you do it.”

It goes unspoken, but Kise already knows, and he’s fairly certain Kasamatsu does, too. He wants to win with this team—and he’s going to do anything in his power to accomplish it.

Thank you for reading! If you liked this, please consider dropping a kudos/comment on AO3 as well ♡

#kuroko no basuke #kise ryouta #kaijou #kasamatsu yukio #drabble

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feynites · 6 years

Text

*sneaks some Haninan fic for @scurvgirl‘s new Miss Honey AU onto the pile and flees*

Haninan is thinking about Kassaran’s recent venting on the subject of bad fathers, when one of his students - Venavismi - accidentally spills a carton of pencil crayons across the classroom floor during the middle of art time.

Haninan heads over, of course, as Vena drops to the floor and starts picking up scattered pencils.

“I’m sorry!” the boy says. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!”

Something about the way Vena apologizes always makes Haninan worry. Most of the time, Venavismi is the sort of child who would prefer to joke and lighten the mood. But every once in a while, when he gets tired, he starts apologizing, and there’s always a frantic edge to it that makes it clear he expects some kind of disproportionate retribution to rain down on him. An edge that lends itself very readily to tears, which only seem to provoke more apologies.

Vena’s parents are the wealthiest that Haninan regularly deals with, apart from his own wife, of course. Ireth doesn’t know much about them, herself, except that they run in different circles. The last conference, Haninan talked to them about Vena’s extra curricular activities, because he’s been worried for a while now that the poor child has too many. He has the same piano teacher as June, and he’s in gymnastics, and one of the elven language classes, and beginner’s fencing. Haninan’s pretty sure he’s in more, too, given some things he’s overheard, but Vena’s parents are very… adamant that he’s only ‘meeting his potential’ and not being over-extended.

Bad parents come in all shapes and sizes, Haninan has learned. Violence and neglect are by no means easy to deal with, but at least they have answers - even when those answers are difficult to actual reach. There’s very little anyone can do about parents who veer too strongly in the opposite direction, though.

“It’s alright, Vena,” he assures the boy, reaching down to ruffle his hair and, when that gets a little sigh of relief, plucking him up to put him back in his seat. “This isn’t too big of a mess, really. I’ll take care of it while you get back to your drawing.”

He glances at the paper and sees that Vena was in the middle of filling in a blue sky, and picks up the blue pencil crayon, first, to give to him. Vena clutches it with a look of concern on his face for a moment, before he calms down enough to manage a smile.

“Okay,” he agrees. “Sorry, Mister Haninan!”

“Apology accepted. It was an accident, after all,” Haninan assures him, before easily scooping up the rest of the pencil crayons. Fitting them back into their box is only slightly more challenging, but he manages it. He’s had a lot of practice; June enjoys drawing, but cleaning up after himself is an entirely different matter.

Class manages to get all the way to the end of the drawing period without anything more dramatic than Vena’s spilled pencil crayons, which Haninan counts as an overall win. There’s a bit of a struggle during Quiet Reading Time, when Ash gets impatient with her book and starts whispering with her seatmate, but Haninan is expecting it and comes over to help her go through a few passages and get her to settle down again. To her credit, Ash doesn’t try and get out of her seat this time, or ask to go to the bathroom again.

When the day ends, Haninan gives his students their preferred high-fives or hugs, as the parents come to get them. Vena gives him his drawing from art time as a present, which Haninan enthuses over before he puts it in the special folder in his desk. Ash and June hang out with him and help clean up the classroom - when they’re aren’t busy chasing one another around the desks - until Kassaran arrives, with her usual bevy of thanks and apologies. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times Haninan has assured her it’s no trouble. His post-class wrap-up always takes longer than hers, if only because he has June for it, too.

When Ash and her mother are gone, though, it’s time for Haninan and June to head home as well.

“Papae?” June asks him, halfway back to the house.

“Hm?” Haninan replies.

“Are fathers different from papaes?”

Haninan blinks, and wonders if he’s been neglecting his son’s word comprehension lately.

“No,” he says. “Father and papae are different words for the same thing. What makes you ask?”

He glances at his son in the rearview mirror. June shifts in his safety seat, and shrugs.

“It just seems different,” he says. “Ash says her father wasn’t like you, but she didn’t want to talk about it. And I overheard her mama saying something about bad fathers. And Vena calls his papae ‘father’ and I remember he said his father doesn’t play puzzles with him, so I was just wondering if there was a difference.”

Haninan sighs.

“Not really,” he admits. “Their fathers are just different people from me, June-bug. So they treat their children differently, too.”

June nods, and seems satisfied with that explanation. Haninan supposes the discussion is done with, and when they pull into the driveway it’s right after Ireth seems to have just done the same. So June hurries out of the car and goes racing off to her, giggling as she beams at him and scoops him up, and spins him around.

“Did you have a good day, sweetheart?” she asks him.

“Wellll, yes and no,” June tells her, and then he’s off, listing the ‘good’ (got to read out loud to the class at the end of Quiet Reading Time today) and the ‘bad’ (didn’t get to use the monkey bars at recess because some of the other kids were playing Fortress on them). Haninan scoops up his bag from the backseat and wanders over a more leisurely pace, feeling the familiar swell of affection in his breast at the sight of his wife and son. He moves in to interrupt June so that he can steal a kiss, though. Which his son huffs at, until Haninan turns and starts peppering kisses on his own cheeks, too.

“Ew, Papae, no!” he protests, laughing and squirming. “Go back to kissing Mamae.” So saying, he plants a hand on Haninan’s cheek, and pointedly turns his face back towards Ireth.

“Well, if you insist,” Haninan jokes, before leaning in and doing just that. June makes more protests and squirms until Ireth puts him down. She smiles against Haninan’s lips, and, with her arms free, settles them over his shoulders, before giving him a proper full-on kiss.

“We probably shouldn’t make-out in the driveway,” she tells him.

“As if our neighbours haven’t seen it all by now,” he scoffs, which gets an amused snort from her, before she finally lets him go. June is at the front door, rolling his eyes and looking so exaggeratedly impatient that Haninan wishes he could take a picture. His phone’s in his bag, though, and by the time he’s got it unzipped, Ireth has taken pity on their poor child and is letting him into the house.

“I want peanut butter cups for my snack!” June announces, dashing inside.

“Oh woe is me,” Haninan gripes, lurching his own way through the door and making a show of lugging June’s bag as if it carries a hundred pounds. “I guess I’ll just make my own way, here, carrying everything. If only I had a son who could help me. Alas, alas…”

His theatrics earn an aggravated sigh, as June reluctantly turns and heads back towards him, and gives him a very Ireth-esque look before taking his bag.

“My hero,” Haninan praises.

June gives his mother a beseeching look. She just shrugs at him, though.

“Go put your bag away, and I’ll see if we have any peanut butter cups,” she instructs.

“It’s not even heavy,” June says, but does as told, kicking off his shoes and then rolling his eyes again when Haninan reminds him to put them where they go, please and thank you. He settles his own bag by the door, while Ireth kicks off her shoes in a near-perfect imitation of their son. Haninan raises his eyebrows at her, and she sheepishly puts them on the rack, too.

“I still can’t believe I’m the tidy one in this family,” he muses, ruefully.

“Organized, not tidy. I’ve seen you cook,” Ireth reminds him. “And dress. And who still has a fifty-billion piece puzzle taking up the better part of the dining room, hm?”

“June does,” Haninan shamelessly insists. Which is half true, considering that they’ve been assembling it together. It’s been slower going than he expected, though, since June keeps getting frustrated, and then they have to stop. Not that he minds it - June seems to mind it more than he does - but… well, anyway. They’ll get it done, and then they can seal it and put it on June’s wall, just as Haninan promised.

“MY BAG IS AWAY!” June announces, before pelting into the living room to turn on the television.

“Two shows, then you have to start homework!” Haninan reminds him.

“Choose wisely, my son! I’ll get your snack,” Ireth adds.

“Are you sure? I can get it for him,” Haninan offers, eyeing the work clothes that he knows his wife hates. Ireth just waves it off, though.

“I want to,” she assures him.

With a nod of acceptance, Haninan veers his way up to their bedroom, and sets about changing his own clothes. He pulls on a comfortable sweater and exchanges his trousers for leggings, letting out a breath as he gets his socks off, and then wriggling his toes in the carpet a little. He heads for the bathroom to wash up, and hears the distinctive theme song of one of June’s favourite shows drift up from the floor below.

As he runs the water, though, his thoughts sink a little as they drift towards the subject of Ashokara’s father.

Haninan knows the patterns that can often lead people to become monsters. Parenting can be stressful, and thankless, and demands endless patience, and he’s intimately aware of that even as he loves it beyond measure. But for people who don’t have that drive? That love for being a parent, for looking after their child? He can see where it brings out the worst of them. Especially when they have no tools to cope well with even adult relationships.

Most of the time, he’s noticed, it’s about control. Abused children are often well-behaved children - until they aren’t. They’re frightened into obedience, neglected into maturity, starved into desperation for approval and dreadfully aware of their own vulnerability. And when they no longer have to be afraid, it’s always an adjustment for them to figure out where the boundaries of their world should even be. He’d noticed the signs with Ashokara, when she first came to his class. The way she would always hesitate when he asked her a question, as if she was trying to figure out what he wanted her to answer with. How she would watch his hands whenever he was close by, as if she was nervous that he might suddenly try and grab her. The way she froze up the first time he clapped to get the class’ attention.

Kassaran had talked to him after class on that first day. Which was difficult for her, Haninan knew. She was ashamed - not of her daughter, not at all, but of the fact that her daughter had come to harm. And of having to explain some of what she herself had gone through, in order to explain what Ash was struggling with.

Haninan hadn’t pried any more than was strictly required.

They were getting away from it. And now, it’s rearing up again. A pattern that threatens to become a cycle, if it isn’t adequately broken. Haninan has every faith in Kass and Ash’s ability to push through a lot of hard things, but that doesn’t mean he wants to see them do it. Or stand idly by while it happens, either.

He might understand the patterns, but he’ll never excuse someone who mistreats their child.

The tap is still running when Ireth comes into the room. He watches through the mirror, and the open crack of the door, as she changes into a loose green dress, and then flops onto the end of the bed.

“I’m on call,” she informs him, raising her voice a little until he turns off the tap. She pats her phone demonstrably, and then shoves it into one of her dress pockets.

Haninan shuffles his way back out of the bathroom, and then slumps onto the bed beside her.

“I’ll keep my fingers crossed that there are no emergencies, then,” he says.

Ireth reaches over, flailing a bit until she finds his cheek, and pats it.

“Helluva a day,” she says, letting out a gusty breath. “There was another chicken pox outbreak. Poor things.”

Haninan makes a sound of sympathetic agreement.

“What about you?” she asks him.

He hesitates, for a moment. But then, he’s never really been good at keeping anything for her, especially when he’s not even certain he should try.

“Ashokara’s father is suing for joint custody,” he says.

Ireth sits up.

“No,” she objects.

“Afraid so. Kassaran came in and told me the other day.” They probably would have talked about it then, but there’d been a ten car pile-up some time around three pm, and Ireth had been out late helping with the sudden emergency rush. So Haninan and June had made toasties and worked on the puzzle together, and by the time she’d managed to get home, she’d had her own work woes to spill and had been in sore need of a shoulder to cry on.

Which Haninan was more than happy to provide. On that thought he gives her another look-over now. But she seems to be bouncing back, and isnt’ giving the usual indications that she needs him to help. Her concern - verging on anger - looks like the normal kind, for this sort of situation.

“You tell Kassaran that if worse comes to worse and he actually gets it, I will personally help her hide the body,” she announces.

“I’ll be sure to pass that along, darling,” Haninan replies. “But the main concern for right now is that Ash is going to have to explain to a judge why she doesn’t want to live with her father.”

Ireth frowns, and glares at the ceiling for a good long moment.

“...Well what if we kill him before that?” she suggests.

He sighs.

“Ireth, beloved, light of my life, you don’t even kill spiders when they get in through the bathroom drain,” he points out. Not that Haninan kills them, either. But still. They are not exactly murderous folk. He still remembers the first time June went over to a friend’s sleepover and called for Ireth to come get him, because one of the parents had killed a moth that came in through the window, and June was convinced that the man had to be some kind of secret killer ‘like on television’.

“Spiders don’t abuse people,” Ireth retorts, folding her arms.

But after a moment, she gives in, and just slumps back down against him.

“Poor Ash and Kass,” she murmurs.

“I know,” he agrees, with a sigh of his own.

“We should do something.”

“We should.”

"...Do you think they’d like a fruit basket?” she ventures, tentatively. “Or maybe one of those fresh farm hampers? I can’t imagine Kass will feel like preparing a lot of meals while she’s dealing with all of this.”

“Couldn’t hurt,” Haninan reasons. He plans on doing his best to help Ash in her classes, to give some extra attention and support. But still. Sometimes it’s good to have a friend’s spouse who absolutely insists on sending fancy gift baskets, which she has no idea of the actual material worth of, except that they be ‘good’. He still remembers the look on Kassaran’s face the first time Ireth gave her a bottle of wine for the school district’s Feast Day party.

“I’m going to send them something,” Ireth decides. “It’ll be a good distraction anyway. Should I put who it’s from on the card? Yes, I should, I wouldn’t want them thinking it’s from Quarth or whatever his name is.”

“Qal, I think.”

“Do you still have that card catalogue with everyone’s food allergies in it?” Ireth asks him, barely listening now as she gets up with a mission in mind.

“In the study,” he confirms.

She pads off towards it, while Haninan decides to remain on the bed, and chase the patterns in the ceiling with his eyes. They form a pleasant latticework that makes him think of beehives, and the strength of hexagonal structures. The children are going to do a unit on bees later in the year. It’ll be fun, and it will give him the chance to include some information about architectural shapes. June is into pyramids right now, but Haninan’s fairly sure it won’t take much to get him interested in hexagons, too.

He’s chasing his thoughts down into matters of magical geometry when he hears soft feet pad into the bedroom. Lighter than Ireth’s. Haninan turns his head, and watches June climb up onto the bed. He slings his arm around his son as he settles in beside him.

“Whatcha doing?” June asks.

“Nothing much,” Haninan assures him. “You need something? I thought you were watching cartoons.”

June shrugs.

“I finished my snack, and then it was the clown show,” he explains. With the world-weariness of someone several times his age, he looks thoughtfully up at the ceiling. “I hate that show.”

Haninan snorts.

“It’s supposed to teach you math,” he says.

June makes a face.

“That’s what school is for,” he objects. “They moved my Superman show to dinner time instead. Can I still watch it if I do homework in between?”

He thinks about it.

“Sure,” he agrees.

June fist pumps, and then leans in and smooshes his face against Haninan’s side. The ominous sounds of the dreaded Clown Show drift up from downstairs. Haninan can admit, despite knowing what they’re angling for - it is kind of an awful show. Most of the other parents aren’t big fans, either, and he thinks one of Kass’ students had a round of nightmares about one of the clowns climbing out of the television and trying to strangle them.

“Papae?” June asks him, after a minute.

“Hm?”

“Parents don’t just… suddenly stop loving their kids, right? Like… that doesn’t happen, does it? Even if the kids are really bad or mess up a lot of stuff?”

Haninan shifts around a little to look down at his son, and feels his heart crack at the worried look on his face. He leans down and kisses his head. It doesn’t take a genius to see his line of reasoning. Learning about bad parents, about parents who mistreat their kids, also tends to come hand-in-hand with thinking that there might be something that kids could do, to make their parents become hateful or resentful of them.

“No,” he assures him, firmly. “That doesn’t happen. And it especially wouldn’t happen to you, June-o. Your mamae and I will love you forever, no matter what you do.”

June wrinkles his nose, but he also looks relieved.

“I wasn’t asking that,” he insists, at a mumble. “I was just checking in general.”

“Oh, okay,” Haninan allows. “But still. For the record. I’ll love you forever.”

June grumbles a bit about ‘mushy stuff’, but he also rests his head on Haninan’s chest, and relaxes a bit more as Haninan rubs at his back.

There’s no difference between being a father and being a papae. Haninan’s not always sure he’s doing the right thing, that he’s being a good parent, that he’s done enough to look after June or that he’s pushing things in the right direction. But he’s pretty sure that if he was messing it up too badly, Ireth would tell him. He’s not alone in this grand scheme.

Kassaran is.

That can’t be easy. With all of everything that’s gone on, he knows for a fact that it’s hard.

He makes a mental note to invite Kass over to dinner sometime soon, at least, and hugs his son a little tighter.

#miss honey au #haninan #ireth #hanireth #caserole #(related)

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jezfletcher · 3 years

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1000 Albums, 2020: Top Tracks #50-26

Hey folks! After the fun and excitement of counting down my top albums of 2020, I'm launching straight into my top tracks. Today, we're counting down numbers 50-26, which will leave the Top 25 as a Christmas present from me to you tomorrow. I don't know exactly how many tracks I've listened to this year, but I conservatively estimate more than 12,000, which puts these tracks in the top 0.4% of all the music I've heard this year. YouTube versions of the songs are included where possible. I belatedly discovered that I can also embed Bandcamp links as well, which is probably a better option, from a "supporting artists" perspective. If you stumble upon something you like, go buy it on Bandcamp. Apologies if the video clips for any of these are wildly offensive—I have not at all vetted them before embedding them. Enjoy!

50. L.E.J. - Pas Peur (French chamber folk)

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I’m starting off this write-up with this excellent bit of folk—a sultry chanson, backed with low strings that develop into a full little chamber ensemble. I’m perhaps demoting this down to a fairly low position because I heard this track as a single, and was thrilling in excitement for the release of their album, which consisted of this song, and a whole bunch of songs that sounded nothing like this song. So it’s a standout, but it’s not necessarily a sign that L.E.J. is an artist I want to follow in general.

49. Avec Sans - Altitude (vapor pop)

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When I first heard this track, I loved it a lot, especially the contrast between the restrained, almost plinky verses, and the smash of drums and synths which mark the start of the chorus. The rolls of the hihat and the fuzzy synth bass are overt and intense and I love it. Overall, it ended up not quite being of the same depth and character as many of the tracks above it though.

48. Trixie Mattel - Malibu (pop rock)

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Trixie Mattel is such a fascinating artist, and she’s a genuinely great songwriter too—far outstripping most (all?) of her RuPaul’s Drag Race cohort. This is a great bit of pop rock, the kind of thing I absolutely groove along to and sing at the top of my lungs (at least until we get to the falsetto swoop in the chorus). I will absolutely keep following Trixie Mattel’s career as long as she’s producing music.

47. Beans on Toast - Logic Bomb (jazz folk)

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The top track from Beans on Toast this year is this jazzy number, performed with his new full band, and filled with pessimistic predictions about the fall of the world through the computers we depend on. I’m far more sanguine about the world he describes, so I’m left to enjoy the groove and the gentle horn riff which launches each new doomsaying verse.

46. Nelson Kempf - Family Dollar (art folk)

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A long, slightly meandering adventure in avant-garde folk, with Kempf’s conversational lyrics, found sound recordings like announcements at an airport, and the persistent presence of gently struck marimba or xylophone. It’s a great piece of music, although it’s also one which is hard to think about as a catchy tune—it’s certainly not something that gets in my head all that much, which is probably why it’s languishing a bit in the 40s. But every time I’m reminded of it, and listen to it, I do enjoy going through it again.

45. Marcelyn - Guilloteens (experimental folk rock)

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I switched from Google Play Music (shutting down, of course) to Spotify about half way through this year, and as a result, my Spotify end-of-year list was jank, missing anything from the first half of the year, and lacking much of my revision listening. I say all of this because of all the songs I’d heard since switching, this was apparently my most listened-to on Spotify. It’s certainly not a bad song, and it’s a song which won Track of the Week the week it came out—but it’s also languishing in the mid-40s on my end of the year list, so it’s not genuinely a standout. But it is very solid, especially the shifting vocal harmonies from an evocative chorus. It’s certainly a song which makes me keep an eye on Marcelyn in the future.

44. Little Big - Hypnodancer (funeral rave)

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It’s one of the great tragedies of 2020 (you know, along with all the sickness and dying) that there was no 2020 Eurovision Song Contest, because Little Big, progenitors of the hardstyle analog “funeral rave” were going to represent Russia. Which possibly would have been one of the only times I would have been cheering for that country come voting time. Anyway, the song they were taking to the competition was not this one, but another called UNO. But this is better, capturing the pop aesthetic into a hard 90s underground techno beat. Maybe we’ll get to see them again in 2021.

43. Walk Off The Earth feat. Harm & Ease - Toxic (eclectic pop cover)

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Prolific indie pop coverers Walk Off The Earth have seemingly come up with a neverending stream of singles this year, none of which seem to be obviously pointing to a new album—especially given that their last album (my #2 album of 2019) was released towards the end of last year. But I keep listening to and enjoying their fun cover versions. This one, done with philosophical stablemates Harm & Ease builds into a great, raucous singalong version of one of the millennium’s pop classics.

42. Stormzy feat. Aitch - Pop Boy (grime)

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I’m very conscious of the general lack of hip hop on my end of year list. It’s a genre that I think is ill-served by its most prominent examples currently. Kanye, Lil Uzi Vert, Drake—all have an extremely thin production quality and a drawly delivery that lacks the rhythm that really helps the style. But grime (and UK rap more generally) seems to get the point of what makes the style worthwhile. With a kicking beat, rhythmic delivery that lands its rhymes beautifully, Pop Boy is probably the best bit of grime this year. Stormzy and Aitch trading flows is genuinely fun to watch. I’m also glad that I have a new grime favourite after its Godfather outed himself as a raging anti-Semite earlier in the year. Stormzy seems pretty chill by comparison.

41. The Fratellis - Six Days in June (pop rock)

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The Fratellis are a band who are absolutely rocking the late era of their career. Their 2018 album In Your Own Sweet Time was an absolutely cracking set of music, and if this lead single is anything to go by, their 2021 album is going to be similar. Swinging in 6/8, and with a horn section to add something of an orchestral sound to their accessible pop rock, this is a great track.

40. MOBS - Big World (80s pastiche pop)

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These guys did an amazingly fun album this year, taking a broad kind of funky electropop and embracing all of the biggest 80s tropes. This one leans on the synth horns, and some working synths that you just know have the black and white keys reversed. It’s a jumpy, poppy, danceable track—one of the ones this year that’s most likely to get me grooving.

39. The Lemon Twigs - The One (alt rock)

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A great piece of music (albeit one from an even better album), this is almost a kind of throwback alt rock—it has elements of the 80s to it, more poppy than the Cure, but maybe containing a similar kind of theatricality to it. It’s very happy to swing between high tenor vocals and squealing guitars for its drama. But on top of everything, it’s just a great bit of pop rock.

38. The Cuckoos - Weekend Lover (glam rock)

There’s something that you’ll likely see over and over again in this list, especially if you listen to the tracks and look for similarities. And it’s a driving, perhaps slightly repetitive riff in a pop rock song. This has a great one, incorporating bass and synths, and working in counterpoint to the straight up percussion line. It’s something of a formula that works really well for me, and you’ll see it a number of times on this list.

37. MisterWives - It’s My Turn (indie pop)

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MisterWives are absolute stars of the music project. In 2017, the last time they really released much music, they had my #1 song of the year for Machine, and also took out #3 on my albums list. This year’s album didn’t do quite as well, but it’s hard to deny there are some pop bangers on it, like this one, their top entry this year. It’s a lot of fun, with manic, colourful energy. Sure, it’s not a #1 track of the year this time around, but I defy you not to have some fun with it.

36. Sammy Brue - Pendulum Thieves (alt country)

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A fabulous piece of country rock, about stealing a bit of time back—maybe you want an extra minute with a lover in a perfect moment, or maybe you want to take back a fight. It’s nicely done with an anthemic chorus and some harmonic slide guitar in the background. Great piece of music.

35. TheFatRat feat. Laura Brehm - We’ll Meet Again (pop EDM)

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Just a great piece of dance music. It has a great riff that evokes other classic dance numbers from the past 10 years like Clean Bandit’s Rather Be, throwing in a bit of grunty wobble bass for good measure. It’s short and sweet and catchy, and I like it for that.

34. Starbenders - Holy Mother (glam rock)

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A track that came out of nowhere the week it was released, because I didn’t overly love the album. But this is just a full-throated bit of stomping glam rock that I couldn’t go past it for song of the week. Incidentally, Sam liked the album a whole bunch more than me and we ended up both giving this particular song a nod. It’s just a raucous, fun bit of music with a singalong chorus I often find myself headbanging along with.

33. Minh Beta - Let’s Fight COVID! (Vietnamese coronavirus pop)

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Absolutely one of my iconic songs of 2020, this is a straight up pop banger released as a PSA by Minh Beta about the best ways to stop the spread of COVID-19 in his home country of Vietnam. It also has an excellent video clip[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSiK7U46PfA] with anthropomorphised superhero versions of things like “Wear a Mask”, “Don’t spread Facebook conspiracy theories” and “Don’t share your ice cream cone with your mates”. It’s apparently a re-skin of Minh Beta’s previous track “Viet Nam Oi!”, but we’ll forgive it for being a timely readjustment for a good reason (personally, I credit about 90% of the success that Vietnam has had containing Covid to this song). And also, it just absolutely slaps.

32. Kiesza feat. Lick Drop, Cocanina & Shan Vincent De Paul - Dance With Your Best Friend (pop)

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You know this might be the highest track of pure unadulterated pop. There’s nothing subversive or quirky about this—this is just a catchy pop track. It’s helped along its path by some great rapping from Cocanina, and a bit of that laddish vocal quality from Shan Vincent De Paul with the London accent of Rat Boy and Yungblud. Just a fun bit of music.

31. Ultrahappyalarm - Messy Gyaru (happy hardcore)

CRITICAL DAYDREAM by ULTRA HAPPY ALARM

It has been so many years since I’ve heard a true bit of happy hardcore like this. It has all the things I loved about the style in the 90s, but it brings with it a complexity to the production which ensures that you can’t just immediately pick apart the tracks. This was the standout on a great set of variegated techno in Ultrahappyalarm’s EP Critical Daydream. More happy hardcore for 2021, please.

30. Saint Saviour - Taurus (chamber folk)

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Instrumentally, this is such a beautiful combination of piano and strings, with cello dominant, and a set of beautifully blending folk voices over the top. Later, it brings in some soft percussion to bring it home. Hauntingly though, the repeated piano ostinato is layered with a counterpoint of vocals in the final section. It gives me chills.

29. Kate Rusby - Love of the Common People (indie folk cover)

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I clearly love this song, originally a standard, but most famously recorded by Paul Young, because there were two separate covers this year which reached my end-of-the-week list of best tracks. This, however, is the better of the two. It has a soft kind of electronic folk quality to it, and Rusby’s sweet, unaffected vocals perfectly fit into the mix. I’ll admit that much of the credit for this being so high has to go to the original songwriters—the team that also wrote “Son of a Preacher Man”. TIL.

28. Seazoo - Honey Bee (indie pop rock)

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A lovely bit of pop rock, clearly a genre I like, especially when it has a catchy, slightly unusual riff to it. In this case, it’s a repeated rhythmic guitar stab that plays against the snare backbeat, creating this persistent sense of rocking back and forward. The rest of the song is solid enough to keep it moving, and a late guitar solo kicks it into another geat.

27. City Mouth - Sanity For Summer (indie pop rock)

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A fantastic bit of upbeat pop rock. It starts with a melodic theme, then absolutely blasts out a manic piano riff which becomes the energetic motor of the track. Mostly, it’s just catchy, energetic music that makes you want to get up and dance. We need tracks like that this year.

26. Cory Wong & Chris Thile - Bluebird (jazz-bluegrass crossover)

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Cory Wong has had a really strong year this year, releasing a full album, a live album, and two paired EPs. This comes from Dawn, the lighter, brighter of the EPs, and pairs his excellent guitar work with the sublime mandolin of every one’s favourite mandolinist. This is just exceptionally virtuosic work from both of these guys, and the combination just ratchets up the quality.

#1000albums #best of the year #albums #songs

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