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#i don’t really mention kate much i’m sorry
romanticintheory · 17 days
Note
Can you do something fluffy and domestic with Price. Like maybe him trying to ask civilian reader out on a date, and everything is just going against him. (He eventually does get to ask her whether or not it was how he planned it.)
john wants to ask his favorite waiter/waitress out on a date, but the universe seems to have other plans for him.
john price x gn!reader
part 2
fluff, john trying his best, domesticity
a/n: ty for the request!! you’re my first one so i hope you like it <3 also, let’s just pretend like the timeline of this fic makes sense :)
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Oh, this poor man was hopeless from the start. He had been interested in you for a while and was finding the courage within himself to finally ask you out. He felt silly about the ache in his chest whenever he thought about what your response might be. He just wanted to do right by you was all. So, when he was finally out of his latest mission and allowed to take a break, he was determined to pop the question to you.
The plan was to stop by the flower shop and buy a simple bouquet for you, but when he found himself in front of the store it had been closed. “Family Emergency. Will be back next week.” He didn’t have a week.
Okay, so, no flowers. It was disappointing, to say the least, but he could make do. 
You were nearing the end of your shift when your coworker, Missy, tapped you on the shoulder. As you turned away from the table you were cleaning, she leaned down and whispered in your ear, “There’s that hot man here, again. He’s asking for you, dear.”
She ended her news with a knowing wink. Looking past her shoulder, you could clearly see John sitting at a table with a menu in his hands. Your cheeks flushed at Missy’s insinuation.
“Thanks,” you managed to choke out, hoping she didn’t notice how flustered you were.
“Of course. That’s the second time, just so you know,” she reminded teasingly, nudging you with her elbow encouragingly before leaving to go attend to her own tables.
Out of the three times John had been to your restaurant (including this one), he spent the last two specifically requesting your presence. Though you tried not to think much of it, you couldn’t ignore the way it made your heart flutter.
Straightening your uniform, you made your way to his table with a genuine smile—a stark contrast to the fake one you give to other customers just for the sake of work. John pretended like he wasn’t secretly watching you in the periphery of his vision and looked up at you once you found your way to him.
“It’s nice to see you again,” you beamed.
“‘S nice to see you too,” he replied, unable to keep that lovestruck smile off his face. “How have you been, sweetheart?”
You laughed softly, “I’ve been alright. You know, just the same old. How about you, John?”
“I’m afraid it’s been the same for me. Just got off a mission.” Not once did his eyes leave yours. It was almost intimidating, the way he was so dedicated to giving you his full attention.
“Really? You’ll have to tell me about it sometime,” you said hopefully.
It was the perfect opportunity for him. All he had to say was, ”Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime,” and he almost pulled it off.
“Actually, I—”
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Internally cursing himself, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw the contact Laswell flashing on his screen. Usually, when she called, it was something worth hearing. He looked up at you apologetically, but you just smiled and waved your hand at him to let him know it was okay.
Standing up, he answered Kate’s call and pressed his phone between his ear and his shoulder. You couldn’t hear much of what the other person was saying. It was mostly just John nodding his head, saying a quick “yes” or “no,” or mentioning what you assumed were his colleagues' names.
Gathering his things, he turned to you and gave an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, but I have to leave, right now. I apologize for wasting your time like this.”
“Oh, no, don’t worry! It’s nice to have seen you anyway, and I’m glad you’re doing well. I don’t mind, honestly,” you reassured him, secretly disappointed at the fact that his visit was so short-lived.
Clearing his throat, he asked, “If it's not too out of line, may I ask when you get off work?”
Throwing all caution to the wind, you quickly answered, “At about ten thirty.”
“Ten thirty, all right,” he said (more so to himself than you). “Have a good rest of your shift, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, I hope all is well at work,” you nodded, watching as his eyes lingered on your for a moment before he left for the door.
The entire time he was back at work the thought of you sat in the back of his mind. Honestly, he couldn’t even remember why he was there. Something about an important lead? Or maybe a new contact? Honestly, his head was in the clouds.
Even though you didn’t know he was going to ask you out, he still felt guilty for not being able to pop the question to you. As soon as he left the meeting, he was out the door. It was already ten, and it took about twenty-five minutes to get to the restaurant. He silently cursed himself for the second time that day, still determined to get in his car and see if, by some miracle, he could catch you.
He had imagined himself in the exact opposite situation he was currently in. He had wanted to be out of uniform in something more presentable and approachable, being able to spend his time with you without any interruptions. Now, he was having to rush his pace with his uniform on as he attempted to make up for his first failed attempt at asking you out. He didn’t want to be the captain with you, just John Price. 
Peeking into the front door of the now-closed restaurant, he scanned the few workers left inside to see if any of them were you only to be met with disappointment. His frustrated grew ten-fold as he turned away from the door, making his way back to his car.
Just as he was about to hop in, you were exiting the side door with your uniform in hand.
“John?” you called out, stopping just a few feet away from him. You almost didn’t recognize him with the way he was dressed (not that you were complaining).
He whirled around instantly at the sound of your voice. “(Y/n),” he started. “I almost thought I missed you.” You smiled. “No, one of my coworkers needed help with something so I stayed behind just a little bit.” “How kind of you. Most would leave as soon as they were able,” he praised, shutting his car door behind him.
“She’s always been kind to me. I figured the least I could do is repay her.” You paused. “So, uh, what brings you back here so late?”
You.
“Well, I was just…” Why was he nervous? He had asked out plenty of people before (though none quite like you). For Christ’s sake, he was a disciplined soldier capable of incredible feats without breaking a single sweat. He’s faced dangerous criminals with a calm face and a stable mind, but with you, oh, it was like everything he ever learned went out the window.
You waited expectantly with bated breath.
“Well, I was actually wondering if you would want to go out with me sometime. Anywhere you like,” he finally managed. “‘Course, feel free to say no. I promise I won’t be hurt.”
He’s lying, of course, but you didn’t need to know that.
Your face lit up at his question, answering with an immediate, “Yes, I’d love to!”
Finally, finally, he could release the breath he was holding. His shoulders visibly relaxed, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he grinned at your response.
“How do you feel about movie and a dinner?”
Maybe it didn't go exactly as he'd planned, but at least you said yes, right?
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scary-lasagna · 1 month
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hello, I don’t really understand your request situation right now so if I’m sending this at the wrong time I’m sorry.
But, I just read your post about Slender’s dark secrets, and I really liked it! So I was wondering if you could talk more about them.
Have a good day!!
I decided to dive into the bit about the...things Slender has done to the earlier residents.
Friends
"Why the Hell would he do that? That's a fucking strong assumption to make, Jeff." An offended tone slapped the walls of the Rec Room, unusually empty besides a proxy and a infamous killer.
Jeff and Toby have never really clicked well. Something about Toby has always managed to rub Jeff the wrong way: his walk, his love of talking too loud, his abrupt tics, and his unkept hair, for a few examples.
Jeff just didn't want anything to do with him. But that didn't mean that he hated the poor bastard. Even so, they had more in common than they thought. Not that Toby knew that.
"I'm just saying, it all makes sense, right?" Jeff faced his palms up with a casual shrug from the beanbag chair, "He killed her. And I'm not just saying that to piss you off or anything. I mean look at what he did to Kate. She's terrified of him."
Althought Toby wasn't entirely close to Kate, it was obvious how much she avoided pissing Slender off, and always happened to be missing whenever things got tense around the manor. Her burns...had he also been the cause of them?
"Just because he may or may not have done something to KAte doesn't mean that he's an evil creature. Why would he kill a random chick in Michigan? Slender wouldn't do something like that-" Toby refused to believe it, not after Slender had took them all into open arms.
Jeff pinched the bridge of his nose before dragging his palm down his face. He crossed his arms as he stared up at the proxy. "Toby, who the fuck do you think cut the breaks in Lyra's car? Who drove Tim's friend to insanity? Jack's culty origin? Fuck, even Jane. She didn't have a violent bone in her body until my incident. I mean, think about it, doesn't it all just lead back to him?"
"It doesn't matter!" Toby didn't flinch at the mention of his sister, but then again he didn't have anything backing up his claim. It made him angry. He knew he was right.
"Then ask him, Toby." Jeff nonchalantly scratched his neck, "And you'll come back not remembering a damn thing like last time." He rolled his eyes toward the brunette. "And the time before that, too."
"You're fucking with me."
"'Fraid not." Jeff tsked and wrestled himself out of the beanbag chair. "Start leaving notes for yourself, Tobs'. That's how I figured everything out."
___
"I'm not quite sure I am comphrehending your accusation, Toby. Do you believe I had something to do with Lyra's passing?" The Tall Man sat at his great oak desk, his spindly fingers clasped together on his desk mat.
"I-It's just sketchy. I mean, my memory is spotty, yeah, but right after I caught The Sickness, she died." Toby adjusted his seat on the leather office chair, scooting to the edge. His leg bounced. His nails were wearing thin from the abuse of nervousness.
"Toby, why on Earth would I do something like that? In no offense, it would be pointless to me to harvest such a small soul. From my recollection, Lyra did not have any great power that would have ade her a sustainable feeding victim." Slender suddenly furrowed his brow line, his head tilting ever so slightly, "You should know this Toby. Are you feeling alright?"
"I've been a little under the weather, I guess. I'm sorry for pointing fingers, everything has just been so confusing lately. I'm loosing track of time, and I can't remember what I did yesterday." Toby ran his hands through his slightly gready hair, and took great effort in slouching into the leather.
"Perhaps it's time for a mental health day. I'll adjust your schedule to fill in Kate for your shift in the next three days." Slender opened one of the larger cabniets in his desk, pulling out one of the many vintage tabloids he used to schedule his proxies. "And if we see no improvement, then we can adjust or change your medicine if needed."
As Slender set the tabloid down, Toby noticed a familiar face peeking out from under one of the many loose papers among the mess of a busy desk.
"Why do you have Brian's folder open?"
Slender paused, craning his head to eye the headshot picture. "I'm simply refreshing my memory of his medical history. No need to wear your heart of your sleeve, Toby." Slender quickly dismissed, waving Toby's concerns away. He seemed a bit more hasty to modify the schedule.
Toby's voice dropped into a gravely tone.
"Are you sure?"
Slender slowly lifted his head to look at Toby, who seemed to be fixed on a leaflet.
Kate. More specififcally, Kate's fresh burns from so many years ago, all photographed and on display. The nights of restless sleep must have finally caught up to Slender, and forgot to tuck them away before allowing Toby to burst in.
"Did Brian do that to Kate?"
"I will now be asking you to leave, Toby, this is a breach of confidential information on Kate's behalf. I'll adjust your schedule. Have a lovely vacation." And even though the words seems so considerate, Slender stood at full height, a tendril slithering around the front of the desk to tuck any pictures under loose papers. "Leave."
Maybe Jeff was right.
Toby stood quickly, and pivoted on he heels to walk out of the room. But something stopped him. An unforeseen force keeping his body in place.
"Absterge rasa, a medietate prius. Mote fiat."
Toby turned, his brows furrowed in confusion. "Y'know, your German sometimes sounds really weird!" He laughed, "Anyway, I gotta drop that paper off to Jeff, you said he's in the Rec Room, right?"
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mkmas · 3 months
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Jude and the Loving Kiss
inexperienced kiss xxx event
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love how thats the title. as usual sorry it’s not perfect and if there’s anything wrong🙇‍♀️
(Wah, a beautiful flower garden…!)
(But why are we in a place like this…?)
(I don't know but... This place is so wonderful, it would be nice if I could stay here forever…)
A pleasant breeze fiddled with my hair and the scent of sweet flowers filled my heart with happiness.
At that moment, someone’s voice could be heard.
???: Tch… You, you're not just going to drop dead here without paying me back.
Kate: That voice, Jude…?
(Anyhow, I owe Jude a debt!)
Kate: 一Ugh! Ha, ha….!
A change from the beautiful scenery.
As soon as I regained consciousness, I spit out a large amount of water.
Ellis: Are you okay Kate?
Ellis pats my back as I groan. I exhaled water in response and finally calmed down to breathe.
Kate: … Thank you very much.
Ellis: I was really surprised. Kate was drowning in the river.
Kate: I was drowning…?
(Could it be, that flower garden I saw was the afterlife…)
(If it weren't for Jude's voice, I'd still be there一)
Trembling at just the mere thought of it, I grasped my own body with both arms.
Jude: Ha… Isn’t the season too cold for swimming?
Kate: I-I wasn’t swimming. Yes… I think there was a child drowning in the river and I tried to help... The child… !?
Ellis: The child was soaking wet but will be okay. Just to be safe, the child went to the doctor.
Kate: Is that so, that’s a relief… Um, Ellis was the one who saved me right?
Ellis: Nope, I was too far away to make it…
Ellis: Jude carried you back to the river shore, and breathed into you. ***(he didn’t directly mention CPR)
Kate: Jude………..
After I calmed down, I finally noticed that Jude's clothes were wet.
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Apparently, he went into the river in such cold weather to save me.
Jude: Unfortunately, it wasn’t a prince that woke the princess up from her slumber. Such a pity it was a wizard.
Kate: It’s not a pity. Thank you so much for saving me!
Kate: …………. Uh, “breathed into?”
Jude: For people drowning in lakes, the appropriate first aid measure is to provide air with a mouth-to-mouth approach.
(I don't remember any of it at all, but doesn’t that mean that our lips were pressed together?)
Jude: Oi… Don't get all red-faced and excited over a common medical procedure. Saving you was dumb.
Kate: I-I wasn’t excited…!
Jude: I don’t know... Well, I'm soaking wet, so I'm going home. You should see that quack doctor just to be safe.
After he said that, Jude threw his jacket at me.
Jude's jacket was not wet at all, probably because he had taken it off before he went into the river.
Kate: Eh? Um, this…
Jude: You're going home now too, aren't you? If you walk behind me dressed like a sl*t like that, I'm going to look bad and it will be a nuisance.
I looked down and saw that my clothes were wet and sticking to my skin, and the thin fabric was becoming transparent.
Kate: T-Thank you very much.
Flustered, I quickly borrowed Jude's jacket and put it on the front.
His jacket felt very warm, and the faint scent of cigarettes filled my nose making my heart skip a beat.
Ellis: Ah… You two, up.
At that moment, Ellis suddenly noticed something and pointed above our heads.
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Jude: …
Kate: Thats…
Directly above our heads was a tree with a wreath of mistletoe hanging from its trunk.
Maybe they forgot to take down the Christmas decorations.
(If I’m not mistaken, there's a superstition that if you kiss under the mistletoe, you'll be together forever…)
(… I mean, didn’t Jude just now give me artificial respiration!?)
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Jude: ….
Jude glanced at my flustered state with a confused and annoyed expression,
He reached for the mistletoe, roughly pulled it off, and shoved it to Ellis.
Jude: Burn it.
Ellis accepts the mistletoe with a nod, and quickly walks away.
Kate: Well, uhm, Jude….
Jude: You, you don't believe in that mistletoe superstition, do you?
Kate: … I-I don’t believe it?
Jude: You’re a shitty liar.
Jude clicked his tongue and grabbed my arm.
Jude: Get that foolish head of yours to carve out a new superstition.
I was pulled closer and our lips forcibly met. This time it wasn’t life-saving, but rather just a normal kiss.
Kate: Un….
Our lips met tightly as if seeking warmth.
However, because the two of them were completely cold after entering the river, they could only feel the coldness of each other's lips, and could not feel the slightest bit of warmth.
Kate: … Fu….
Jude: … Nn…
Jude: … Not like this.
The icy kiss ends with Jude murmuring, as if to prove that there was no love in it.
Jude: …… “Even if you kiss under the mistletoe, if you kiss again in the same place, it will be canceled”!
Kate: I… Understand…
Of course, such a superstition does not exist, it was Jude's original.
(I can't believe you would go to the trouble of kissing me one more time to make up for my superstition…)
(… Could you have hated that superstition that much.)
Jude and I are not lovers, so it's only natural that we don't make eternal vows.
And yet, a bitter feeling spreads in my chest, as if I had lost my love.
(I'm sure I feel this way because I was happy that Jude saved me...)
(That gap is just making me feel lonely... Right?)
I forced myself to believe that I was in love and that I had a reason for my feelings.
Jude: … It's not worth it to make a promise of eternity with just a kiss.
Jude muttered thoughtfully and returned the swelling.
Since we are going back to the same place, I hurriedly follow behind him.
Kate: Jude, do you hate promises?
Jude: Nothing is eternal.
Jude's answer didn't seem to align with the question, but after thinking about it for a while, it started to make sense.
(It’s not that Jude hates promises, he just doesn't make them because he can't promise forever… He can't promise eternity, so he doesn’t make such promises.)
Eternity does not exist. As long as it doesn't exist, promises will always be broken. That's why such promises shouldn’t be made from the beginning.
I think that’s what Jude probably wanted to say.
(Isn’t that very sincere?)
It is easy for a person to lie in their heart. They can just lie and say that they will love you forever.
But even if it’s only superstitions, Jude never makes promises he can’t keep.
(... I wonder if Jude will someday have someone to whom he wants to pledge eternity to.)
Despite everything, Jude never abandoned me when I was drowning.
He is ruthless and arrogant, but I know from our time together that he is inhumane from the bottom of his heart.
(I wonder if someone will notice this side of Jude, somedayー…)
Being curious of such things would either make you feel like you want to look at the person, or not look,
I was driven by a strange feeling that I could not explain.
—————-
sorry but it’s so funny how ellis just went ok and ran off to burn a random mistletoe that belonged to the country or whoever was in charge of decorating the town😭 also smth that surprised me a little was how they really wanna emphasize jude’s foul mouth bc 痴女 = generally means sl*t but i’ve seen people use this to describe really bad female perverts or even female m*lesters (take it with a grain of salt, he’s extremely horrible with words but he always means well)
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dark-frosted-heart · 4 months
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Inexperienced KissXXX - Roger
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As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this
(Found him…!)
Spotting the person I was looking for, I ran over to him.
Kate: Roger, I’ve been looking for you.
Roger: Hm? Ah, it’s you, little lady. What’s got you so out of breath?
Kate: I heard you came back from a far away mission and brief you on the next one… I was thinking…
I trailed off when I saw the empty glasses lined up on the table.
Roger: As you can see, I’m in a drinking mood today. Sorry you had to come all the way here, but can we do this tomorrow? If you can’t, then you gotta wait for me to sober up.
Kate: I’m in no rush, it’s fine. Um…I heard about the mission from Victor. That you went to look for a cursed person for your research, but he was already dead…
Roger: Yeah… Fate was at work.
It’s said that all cursed people were doomed to fall, regardless of their type.
The same could probably be said for the person Roger went to look for.
Roger: Haha, it was bad timing. Had I gotten to him earlier, I wouldn’t have missed out on an interesting research subject. No matter how much I wanna, I can’t chase him to the afterlife.
At face value, Roger sounds like his usual egotistical self.
(But for some reason…Roger seems a little down)
I got a sense that Roger wasn’t just sad over his loss, but also mourning the death of a cursed one. 
(I wonder if they have the same curse…)
Roger: Hey, you know you’re gonna get eaten by a bad guy like me if you’re wandering about a pub at this hour, you know? Go home before you get involved with them.
(If Roger was his usual self, he’d be the one making a pass at me, but he’s not)
Roger’s unusual attitude started to worry me.
Kate: I-I’m not going back yet!
Roger: …?
Kate: Can I drink with you? I feel like having a drink!
I couldn’t leave Roger to himself, so I sat down next to him without waiting for a reply.
(By being next to him, I can help Roger get home if he gets drunk and passes out)
(As long as he doesn’t mind, I’ll do what I can to cheer Roger up)
Roger: You’re so kind, little lady…
Kate: T-that came out of nowhere…
Roger: You’re here with me ‘cuz I’m feeling down, aren’t you? You’re alike like that.
Roger squinted as he reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
The feeling of his callous fingertips against my ear tickled a little.
Kate: Alike…?
Roger: Whenever I was feeling down, they’d come to my side… They’d stay until I felt better.
(There was a kind person like that by Roger’s side…)
Kate: I don’t know if I can replace them, but…what else did they do? Please tell me.
When I told Roger that I wanted him to feel better, even just a little bit, his eyes softened as he started to reminisce. 
Roger: Hmm~ That’s right. We used to wander around the city every day.
Kate: It’s important to go outside for a change of pace.
Roger: Yeah. We loved to wander around during autumn. It was cooler and it felt like we could run anywhere. Oh yeah…I remember laughing so hard when that person ran into a pile of leaves on the way home.
Kate: I don’t think I’ll run into a pile of leaves, but…I can go on a walk with you!
Roger: What, do you really wanna fill in for them?
Kate: Yes. I want Roger to feel better.
Roger: Oh…?
There was suddenly an intense glow in those eyes hidden behind those glasses.
I had a bad feeling based on my past experiences, but by the time I realized it, it was too late and I had lost my chance to escape.
Roger: We used to sleep in bed together…
Kate: Huh.
Roger: Also, they used to constantly lick my face even when I told them to stop. When I held them, their warmth made me feel at ease. [Me: It’s a dog isn’t it]
Kate: Lick…Hold…?!
My eyes widened as he added one outrageous thing to another.
(No matter how much I say I want to cheer him up, there’s a limit…)
Roger: So…you wanna take their place?
Kate: I-I…
I don’t think I could do most of the things he just mentioned.
However, I really want to cheer Roger up.
(By licking, does that mean kissing…)
(I wonder if I can kiss him somewhere beside his lips…)
My eyes looked him over as I searched for a place to kiss him without anyhidden meaning. And then-
Kate: Mm…
After making up my mind, I took Roger’s arm and kissed it lightly.
Kate: How’s…this?!
Roger: Pfft, haha! What’s up with that challenging look!
I must’ve looked distressed, and Roger let out a hearty laugh. 
Kate: Please don’t laugh! This is the best I can do…
Roger: Sorry, sorry. I’m just surprised it wasn’t a little more sensual. At any rate, do you have an arm fetish since you kissed mine?
Kate: F-fetish?! No! That kiss was to cheer you up! I can’t lick you and stuff so I did that instead.
Roger: I heard that a kiss on the arm or neck meant desire…
Kate: HUH?!
Roger: I wonder, what kind of desires were you hiding when you touched me?
Roger closed the distance between us and stared as if observing me.
I couldn’t stand it and looked away.
Kate: I think it’s you who has desires, not me…
Roger: So what now. It’s only natural to have desires if you’re alive, isn’t it?
With a deep laugh in his throat, Roger hugged my waist. 
How could he still be this strong even though he’s drunk?
Before I could mush him away, a hand reached out and exposed my right shoulder. 
Roger: You know what kind of guy I am, yet you keep coming to me.
Kate: P-please wait. People can see-
Roger: And what if they can’t? They can’t see us in the shadows.
Roger’s lips fell onto my exposed right shoulder. 
Kate: Nn…
His lips traced along my collarbone as if inspecting it.
I felt a strange sense of pleasure as he lightly sucked on my neck, and my body shivered.
Roger’s intense eyes were on me the whole time, as if he didn’t want to miss a single look on my face.
Roger: Do you like it here?
Mischievous lips touch me as if inspecting me.
Roger: *chu* Mn…Haa…
I hate my body for responding so honestly.
Roger: Oh…You like being sucked here?
(I…What…?)
(Does Roger…Kiss others like this too?)
(Is that how you memorize what a person’s body is like…and think back on it like before?)
I wonder if I too will one day become a part of Roger’s past.
When that thought popped in my head, my heart couldn’t help but ache.
Kate: Did you do this with the person you mentioned before?
Roger: Person…?
Kate: The person that cheered you up… [Me: Kate please…]
I don’t know why I’m so bothered by it.
However, once I spoke up, I couldn’t take it back.
Roger: I never said it was a “person” yanno?
Kate: Eh…?
Roger laughed at my dumbfounded look.
Roger: Pfft, haha…They were a dog. The family corgi.
Kate: Dog…?!
(So when you were talking about walking around town, you meant taking them for a walk…And licking your face is something dogs do.)
(Feeling warm and at ease when you hold them…Yeah, got it)
Roger: They’re still in good health. Spoiled and fat too. Wanna see him some time?
Kate: *sigh* Sure, but…
Without daring to state the important part, Roger misled me into thinking the other party was a person. [Me: I thought it was obvious he was talking about a dog when he talked about the licking]
But I felt like an idiot for having my imagination run wild, and got discouraged before I could blame it.
Roger: So, I’m only doing this with you. Relaxed now?
Kate: N-no! Don’t say weird things like that!
I hurriedly pushed Roger away and this time, he let me go easily.
The fact that he didn’t stop me made me feel a bit unsatisfied…I’m sure I just lost myself for a moment.
Roger: Now that we got that misunderstanding cleared up, I’m gonna ask you again…Do you wanna take their place?
Kate: I can’t!! I’m a person!!
(Even though I’m the one that misunderstood, it’s frustrating to be teased again…!)
In contrast to my reproachful glare, Roger smiled in amusement. 
(Ah, but…Roger’s feeling better, so that’s a relief)
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chelleztjs18 · 2 years
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This One Is Mine Pt. 1 (N.R)
Billionaire Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
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Summary: As a billionaire and a successful business woman, Natasha has everything and lives her lavish life with her best friends. What will happen if Natasha wants you but Wanda gets in between?
Warning: Dark fic, 18+, bunch of sexual tensions, swearing words, drug use and alcohol consumptions. (Let me know if I miss anything)
A/N: Hello! I was gonna post this tomorrow as in the schedule but I'll be kinda busy tomorrow. So, why not post it a day early, right? Natasha and her friends wears the clothes that was shown in the cover except Wanda, she wears a dress with the same color. You don't have to listen to the songs in the fic while reading it but if you do, I hope it will make your reading experience more enjoyable. Happy reading! Here is the playlist for this series:
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist
The moon shines up high, a cold breeze passes your legs that are fully exposed. The warmth of your short skirt only covers down to a little above your knee. If it’s not because your best friends Kate and MJ insist for you to come, you are probably home by now but you are in line with them to get into this one famous fancy night club called “Black Widow'' instead. You are not gonna lie, it is one of your favorite clubs to go to. You love the drinks, great dj not to mention the people who come here always look good. It’s not a secret that there are a lot of upper class people who love to party here. The club is always packed every time you come.
“I can’t believe that you didn’t even change your clothes before you came here. You looked like someone just came here straight from work.” Kate lets out her comment.
“Uh maybe because I came STRAIGHT from work, Kate. I could’ve gone home first to change my clothes if you didn’t text me every five minutes to hurry up.” You defend yourself with your reason. “Also, what’s wrong with the button up blouse and my mini skirt? I think it’s not that bad.” You added.
“I know. I know. I’m just excited. We are here to celebrate you. It’s your night. It would be more fun and more friends would come if you didn’t ask to keep it low-key.” Kate rolls her eyes playfully yet letting out her disappointment.
“Well, it’s okay. I don’t want it to make a big deal about it. I just want to celebrate it with you two. You two are my best friends and that’s enough for me.” You explain with a fake pout but genuinely meant every word.
“Awww, y/n, that’s really sweet. Don’t worry about what Kate just said. You look pretty and we understand. Thank you for doing this with us.” M.J responds in awe as she gives you a little hug and smiles at you and Kate.
“Yes, I’m glad I’m part of tonight’s fun. We love you. You know that?” The brown haired woman smiles and squeezes in another hug.
“Of course.” You answer as you check the time on your watch.
The night gets colder and the line is getting longer. The three of you have a great laugh and talk while waiting in line. The security lets some people in every time there are some people leaving the club.
The three of you are getting closer to your turn to get in and you get excited, especially Kate. She loves the place more than you do, hence the destination choice she made for the girls night out with you and M.J.
As soon as the security almost opens the way to let somes group of people ahead of you, someone talks to him through the COMM in his ears, and everything changes. He stops himself from letting people in.
“Sorry folks. VIP first.” He explains as he turns his back and focuses on who is coming. You hear overlapped voices of disappointment from the others in line including Kate’s and MJ’s.
“This is so unfair. How much longer we gotta wait. I wonder who’s coming. Oh maybe a celebrity? Look at those paparazzi.” MJ lets out her impatience followed by her wandering thoughts. “Or probably just another rich person, MJ. You know this place, always full of them..” You calmly respond as you playfully slap her arm with the back of your hand and patch a smirk at her.
Not too long after that, a shiny black limousine pulled up and parked in front of the club. The street light shines and reflects on some parts of the car. The windows are all dark as if it meant to avoid any attention to whoever is inside while on the road.
People start talking and wondering who it is gonna be. All eyes are on the limo as if it doesn’t matter for them anymore if they get into the club or not.
The paparazzi are all ready to snap pictures just like an army who are ready for what’s coming  in front of them. They all know who’s in the luxury moving box of steel.
All the commotions really drag your attention and your gaze to the center of it. You hear people asking each other “Oh my God, who is it?” or “I heard that she’s coming tonight. It’s her birthday today.” and “Do you think she’s coming with the others? I really want to see all of them.”
With all those overlapping comments, your mind gets so curious. You look at the limo without even blinking. Who is she? Who is this woman they were talking about?
The door finally opens, you see a woman coming out of the limo. A super attractive red-haired woman wears bright red suits and pants with a black lapel that blends in perfectly with her loose satin shirt under it. All of those paired beautifully with her black clutch. Her black and silver necklace cooperates with her same color high heels to highlight her black and red vibes.
You are so intrigued by her. You don't know why your mind imagines your fingers raking through her short red hair, caressing it. You are stunned by her look until you hear Kate’s voice.
“OMG! That’s Natasha Romanoff! Damn, she looks so good! I hope her sister Yelena will be here too. I have a huge crush on her.” Kate comments in amazement.
��Natasha who? Her sister?” You look at Kate with furrowed eyebrows as you ask confusedly. “Seriously? You don’t know who Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova are? Okay, I’ll tell you more after this.” Kate’s hand squeezes your hand excitedly as she looks surprised but she gets distracted with more people who get out of the limo. You look at Vision offering his hand to help his wife, Wanda, to come out. Her twin brother, Pietro comes out next followed by Tony Stark.
“Oh wow, The Maximoff twins are here too with Vision and Tony stark. So the whole gang's here.” MJ’s comment leads your gaze to bounce between the rest of them.
You know The Maximoff twins. Who doesn’t? They are the Sokovian siblings who inherit their parents’ fortune of Maximoff Co. but their business skill multiplies it. Not just that, people know them from their lavish lifestyle.
Vision, who used to be the British Royal family doctor and now the owner of many big hospitals in big states. He holds Wanda's hand as they slowly walk behind Natasha. You always adore them. To you, they are that power couple. It’s no secret that they have an open marriage and paparazzi often snap pictures of them with who they call “partner in fun”. In every snap, they are with a different person. Wanda and Vision always wear matching clothes, similar themes or at least whatever colors that compliments each other.
Of course, the brunette Wanda looks so alluring yet sophisticated. Her long sleeve burgundy red somewhat short dress with a slit exposing her thigh with a very low cut perfectly highlighted her cleavage. The dress wrapped her heavenly body perfectly. Wanda’s burgundy dress matches ideally with Vision’s shades of brown jacket and pants over his cream turtleneck.
Her brother Pietro, the ladies man,wears his black suit, spreading his charm. Clearly busy giving teaseful wink or smirks. Some girls are even lucky enough to get their hand kissed by him. From their excited reaction, you guess that they probably won’t wash their hands for a few days.
Then there is Tony Stark, the only heirs of Stark’s family wealth and company. It’s not a surprise to you that Tony’s fashion is a little more different than the others. This time he wore blue suits with black tie and pants. His gray shirts peeping out from under his jacket suit. Being eccentric he is, of course he wears different style athletic blue and black shoes and never forgets his glasses. In his defense, he once said in an interview that always wears sunglasses because of the camera flashes. But seeing he’s wearing the light blue shades right now that probably can’t really block the brightness of the flashes, it’s obviously only for fashion purposes instead. He gives a kiss on the cheek of one of the ladies who asks for a selfie with him shortly before he follows his friends into the club.
To your surprise, you caught Natasha and Wanda glance at you as they walked past in front of the line. Natasha’s glance makes your stomach somersault, instantly making your heart beat faster. Meanwhile, Wanda’s glance at you from head to toe and smirks make you feel like you are a prey, voluntarily.
“Wow, they all look so cool.” MJ doesn’t take her eyes off them until Nat and the rest get into the club. “Yeah but too bad, Yelena is not here.” Kate sighs in disappointment.
“Okay, I know the rest of them but who are Natasha and Yelena?” You ask curiously.
“She is a famous business woman. She is super rich, the CEO of Romanoff Inc. Her company is really big and goes international. She runs it with her sister Yelena. You know the twins and Tony Stark but you don’t know her? They are all best friends and hang out together. Their lifestyle is everybody’s dream.” Kate answers you in rambling.
“Well, Kate, you know me. I don’t really keep up with this whole famous people thing in social media. Work gets me really busy.” You respond to her rambling.
“That’s why you need this night! To have fun. Okay?” MJ tries to cheer you up. “Yeah, we will, After we finally get in.” You let out a sarcastic joke and made your best friends giggle.
_____
As soon as Natasha takes a seat on her VIP couch, she takes a sip of her favorite cocktails.Tell Me When To Go by E-40 plays loud in the club. Her eyes are analyzing her club tonight. She is happy with the new manager’s work. She loves how packed the club is, her eyes subconsciously look for you and her mind wonders if you are already inside or not.
“Happy birthday, darling.” Wanda gives a small kiss to both of Nat’s cheeks as she hands the redhead an envelope before she sits on Nat’s left side. Vision takes his spot next to his wife while Tony slouches next to Nat and Pietro sits side by side with his brother in law on the comfy large black and red U shaped couch. They always sit in the VIP spot that’s always reserved only for them. It has the best view of the club. They love it because practically they can see almost every spot in the club but still a little further from public and have some more privacy. Two dancing poles in front of each end of the couch.
The black table is perfectly set up like usual with bottles of expensive alcohol, ice buckets, snacks or everything they need and even their high end custom made bongs complete with their weed stash. Their favorite drinks and cocktails have been made prior to their arrival. Some bodyguards take a stand not too far from them. Pietro lit up his cigar right away. His eyes observe the surroundings. Excited with the crowd, especially the ladies. He blows out some smoke then takes a sip of his drinks.
“What’s this?” Nat takes the black envelopes as she asks and her green eyes meet with Wanda’s. “It’s your birthday gift from me, Vision and Pietro. Open it.” The brunette answers.
Nat quickly opens it and pulls a photo out of it. “A picture of a yacht?” She tilts her head in confusion.
“YOUR yacht. You sold yours a while ago and you have been too busy to get a new yacht. So we got you one.” Wanda answered excitedly. “Oh wow, thanks Wanda. Thank you boys.” Nat’s gaze flicks from Wanda, Vision then to Pietro as she shows them her gratitude.
“You are very welcomed, Nat. They berthed it next to ours right now. We didn't want to ruin the surprise for you if they brought it to your spot.” Vision explains then proceeds to light up the weed on the bong and inhale the smoke of it.
“You are welcomed, sestra! I picked the bigger size, so you can have a bigger party. Just don’t forget to invite us when you have a party.” Pietro answered jokingly. Wanda and Vision laugh at his jokes.
“Don’t worry, I won’t forget, Piet.” Nat smiles and shakes her head to his antics. “And now, it’s my turn. Happy birthday, Romanoff.” Tony hands her a small red box then smokes a weed joint on his other hand.
Nat opens it and finds a key in it. “This is the key to..?” She asks in a playful way. “Well, it’s just a small gift. Do you remember the winery you like in Sonoma? Not too far from it, I saw this nice property with a nice Spanish style house. It would be a nice getaway for you. I added a little touch. You know, a shooting range, and a spacious gym since you and your family love shooting guns and martial arts. Plus extra space for some of your precious car collections.” Tony casually describes his so-called small birthday gift.
“Oh wow, thank you Tony. All of you gave me these huge gifts. Now, I’m gonna have to give you better gifts on your birthdays.” Nat lets out her joke. The bass from the speakers starts to pound the air as the DJ plays Flip The Switch by Valentino Khan, Chris Lorenzo in line.
“Oh, you know what I like, Nat. If you find any interesting women, share them with me. Or let us have them after you, right, Vis?” Wanda answers her best friend in a teasing way and Vision agrees with an excited “Uh-huh.” in his nods then kisses Wanda’s cheeks.
“Well, just like Pietro said, just don’t forget to invite us if you are having a party.” Tony adds.
“Speaking of parties, I have another gift for our party tonight.” Pietro announced enthusiastically. “What’s that?” Nat turns her focus from the dance floor back to Pietro. “Well, I bought a bottle of old original Absinthe liquor. It’s so strong and it even can make you hallucinate a bit.” The Sokovian billionaire describes as he takes the bong from his brother in law to take his turn to smoke.
“Oh really? I have heard about it. Where is it now?” Nat pitches her question a little louder against the loudness of the music and people partying. “I told my assistant to send it here. Your bartender should be making some drinks for us with it by now.” Pietro smiles proudly about his surprise followed by some coughs out of him.
“Oh, which assistant? The one that Wanda fucked yesterday before the big important meeting with me and the board?” Nat smirks casually joking about what Wanda did. The brunette is really open with her best friends and brother including Vision about how high her sex drive is and how much she loves women. She knows her friends are okay with it, the downfall is they sometimes poke fun out of it just like Nat did. “Yeah, that one.” Pietro laughs.
“Oh, her? Yes, I did and she is really good. A really obedient assistant. She was so…let’s say, tight.” Wanda shares her short trip to yesterday’s memory of hers as she gently bites her lower lips then gives Nat a naughty smile.
Both Natasha’s index finger and thumb softly pinch Wanda’s chin so she can look at her forest green eyes that spark from the aggressive blinking spotlights following the beats for the music. “Oh, I know that, sweetheart. I know how she is.” Nat gives her response to the brunette next to her then wink at her.
The waitress brings a tray of cocktails that has the Absinthe that Pietro got for tonight. All of them cheer and take a big gulp of the green liquor.
Just like Pietro said about the Absinthe, they all start to get tipsy in a different way not to mention the effect from smoking the weed starts to kick in. Their body starts to relax more, but their throat still feels the warmth from what they drank and their heart starts to pump a little faster.
“Look what I’ve got! Look at these white beauties. Maximoffs, yours was really good last time but trust me, this one is even better.” Tony casually tosses a medium size bag of cocaine on the table. It’s more than enough for five of them to share all night long.
Wanda slowly blows the smoke from the burning weed that she inhaled. She hands the bong to Natasha for her turn shortly before she grabs the bag to check the white substance in it. “This looks good and if it hits good, give me the seller number, Stark.” Wanda's broad accent always shows up bolder whenever she gets drunk or high.
As Natasha is taking a hit, her eyes finally lock with the person she has been waiting for, you. She casually blows the smoke out, coughing a little as she watches you and your friends get to the bar.
_____
"Oh my god! Finally!" Kate tries her best holding herself not to jump in excitement as soon as the three of you get into the club.
You can feel the bass as if it punches your heart following the song beat. Some people bump into you when you are walking. The smells of alcohol, cigarette smokes and light marijuana fill the club. Your eyes keep trying to adjust with the light that keeps blinking in a random rhythm. The air feels sticky and warm from how many people are in there yet you also feel the cold breeze from the air conditioner that works really well.
You see two large screens on the high walls shining bright plays optical illusion video that match with the rhythm of the music. Few sexy female dancers dance on the dance pole and some of them dance inside giant bird cages. Some of them swing on the swing inside the cages like canary bird. People are dancing, jumping like crazy that you thought it was the effect of whatever they consume. You see some couples or maybe they just met there kissing in the darker part of the club like there is no tomorrow.
You and the girls walk to the bar right away. The bartender was about to greet you but he got a call. “Hey, Dimitri. Make them the same drinks you made us. Then give those three girls whatever they want, it’s on the house. Keep the drink flowing for them. Also tell Boris to tell the securities to let them do whatever they want as long as it's not dangerous.” Nat ordered from the other end of the line. “Yes, boss.” The blonde Russian bartender takes Nat’s order without any question.
Lose Control by Missy Elliot Ft, Ciara starts to play. You enjoy the vibe around you, the music makes you move your body a little unlike Kate, she literally starts dancing as she starts to sing the lyric
“Wow, this place is always a hit. Look at those beautiful people. I always love the DJ here. Look at Kate, she is not even drunk yet but already dancing like one of those dancers.” MJ looks around and comments on everything she sees including joking about Kate. “Well, you know how she is, MJ.” You laugh. Then you feel a tap on your shoulder and you turn around so do MJ and Kate as soon as they notice.
“Hi ladies. Ms. Romanoff ordered this for three of you. Don’t worry about what you order tonight. She will take care of your tab.” Dimitri informs the three of you with a smile and slides three green cocktails in front of you girls.
Kate and MJ gasp. “No, fucking way!! Ms. Romanoff, THE Ms. Romanoff?” MJ asks in such disbelief and you are more concerned about what’s in the drink.
“What’s this?” You asked. “It’s house special drink. Trust me, this is really good with a very expensive strong liquor called absinthe. You are lucky to be able to try this.” The blonde answers in a friendly manner.
“Oh, we are definitely drinking this. I've heard about that liquor. Thank  you!” Kate quickly grabs her drink. You sweetly thank him and grab yours, so does MJ. “Well normally, I wouldn’t drink anything from—” You try to express your thoughts but Kate doesn’t even let you finish your words. “Girl! Are you crazy? It’s from Natasha Romanoff, you better drink that! Wow, this is awesome. I wonder where she is watching us from.” Kate looks around the club to find Nat but the crowd is blocking the view.
“This means she is interested in you because I saw how she glanced at you. Wanda was looking at you too.” MJ tells you and Kate as she drinks her drink.
“You did too? I thought I was hallucinating when I noticed that earlier.” You finally tell them what was on your mind as you drink the strong cocktail. “How awesome would it be if she is really interested in you??” The excitement from Kate’s tone was easily heard despite how loud the club was.
“There's no way she is interested in me.” You roll your eyes playfully. “That’s a bummer.” MJ plays along with the joke. “Why not? There's a chance that she does." Kate winks at you. “You are crazy.” You shake your head at Kate’s comment and giggle but it gets into your head a little bit. Who would say no to the charming Natasha Romanoff. The first time you saw her, your mind was already all over the place. You imagine you caress her hair in a certain position, so close to you, for crying out loud.
You and the girls hang out near the bar a little longer and drink three more of the same drink. The three of you underestimated the strength of the alcohol in it from how smooth it is. You thought that the bartender was right, the drink is strong. It hits you harder than you thought it would be.
You can feel yourself start to get drunk., not tipsy but drunk. You can see that Kate and MJ are in the same state as you. You hear the DJ starting to play Heads Will Roll - A-Trak Remix by Yeah Yeah Yeah now. People start to cheer from knowing what’s gonna play soon from the intro, including Kate and MJ.
“Y/n! I love this song!! Let’s go to the dance floor now!” Kate and MJ drunkenly pull you to get to the dance floor. The more the alcohol gets in your blood, the faster your heart beats. The louder people cheer and the song gets the more you want to move and you start to dance under the alcohol influence with your friends. The three of you laugh and dance. Your eyes start to search for Nat albeit how drunk you are now. Little do you know that she has been watching you this whole time.
She watches and analyzes you. She notices that every time a man tries to dance with you, you will quickly refuse or drag yourself away but you are comfortable dancing with any girls who approach you. The more she watches the way you dance and your smile, the more she is drawn to you. She wants you. For some reason, she sees that you are different from other girls she met.
While Pietro and Tony are busy enjoying a line or two of the expensive white powder, what a coincidence that Wanda is also eye-ing you. She recognizes that you are the cute one she saw in the line when she walked by. She is watching you sharply like a hawk. Just like Nat, the brunette wants you too. Her desire skyrockets just by watching how your body moves. Both Nat and Wanda are looking at you like you are their prey yet both of them don’t notice that they are looking at you at the same time.
Wanda lets out a little growl as she feels every inch of her crave you, and being high and drunk only makes her want you even more. “Vision, dear. I want her tonight.” Wanda demands without even letting her gaze off you as she points at you.
Before Vision gets the chance to respond to his wife's words, Nat interrupts. Stern was her tone when she said “No. This one is mine.” as she keeps looking at you. Pietro and Tony laugh a little at the unexpected small competition between the Russian and the Sokovian women.
Pt. 2
A/n: Welp, that's all for today. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think. Reblog, comment and input are always appreciated. Follow me for more! See you in next!
Cheerio!
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gayerthanevertbh · 2 years
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knock, knock!
you and natasha have some “quality” time together when a visitor barges into your room.
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not my gif!
WARNINGS | 18+ MINORS DNI mild smut, strap-on used, someone bursting into their room, pregnancy talks, and fluff at the end.
NOTES | i wrote this because i just imagine natasha railing me when... yes anyway enjoy!
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“Natasha!” I gasped out her name, clawing her back with my nails that made her whimper out of pleasure, causing her to roll her eyes back in her head. After so long of not seeing each other, all we could do at this moment was to fuck each other’s brains out. Well, she’s more like fucking me–which there are no complaints. She was getting pleasure from it as well.
“That’s it, baby,” Natasha groans, pumping her cock inside of me with much force and pace, the headboard starts to tap against the wall wildly. “Fuck… you’re so fucking tight–”
I threw my head back once more when the faux bulbous head hit my spot, rubbing my walls perfectly, and I was in mere paradise when I felt our skin slapping against each other. My right cheek was pressed against the soft pillows, my nails dragging down to her back painfully.
“I’m so close…” I muttered out, I managed to. She just smirks and lets out a growl that almost sounded too possessive, yet again – no complaints. I hear her mumbling out, “Fuck my cock baby, that’s it… take all that cock inside of you.”
She was using the new strap-on that she bought from Amazon since it has always been in our cart, but never bought one. Partially because we were busy, most especially her. Natasha was always out of the country and would come back when the mission was over or if she just wanted to escape so that she could see me.
As well as fucking.
She drills her hips into me, holding my left shoulder down to add some leverage as her mouth opens with an upcoming orgasm that is building up in her body. She was pounding me at such a wild pace that I couldn’t comprehend it, nor even process how she was going too fast. Either way, my hands were on her back and I was so close–
“Natasha?” a familiar voice comes by in our room, hearing the door open with a creak. “I found this really cool restaurant that Kate–Oh what the fuck?!”
Yelena, I thought loudly in my head. My eyes widened when she could see Natasha butt-naked and still thrusting inside of me with her head buried in my neck, I pushed her aside and covered my breasts immediately, but Natasha was fast enough to bring her head to my cleavage as she groaned out in annoyance.
Natasha turns her head and yells, “Get out!”
“How are you–”
“None of your fucking business!” the redhead cuts her sister off with a hissing tone, throwing a pillow across the room as embarrassment swells in her heart. But in the back of her head, she was smug about it. She liked it when someone saw me fucked out, especially if it was her.
“Okay! Okay,” Yelena backs away slowly, her mouth couldn’t contain her laughter. She was, in fact, witnessing her sister getting laid. It was funny, hilarious even. “Please use condoms though, don’t want your freaky girlfriend to get–”
“Shut up!”
“Okay fine! Sorry.” once Yelena closes the door, I felt Natasha whimpering on my breasts. I patted her on the back, soothing her while I was also on the edge of embarrassment. It would be worse if it was her parents, or even mine if you had to include them. But I was glad that they didn’t have to witness how much power Natasha has over me. Then, I felt her hand playing with the mound of my breast as she whispers: “You think I can get you pregnant?”
“I think it’s possible,” I responded, the arousal sweeping away from my body at this point. “We do have to do some research on that.”
“I think I’m ready.” she says, her lips are creating a small smile as she pecks in the middle of my chest. I was too, I wanted one so badly but I never mentioned it to her. Maybe because I also didn’t want to embarrass myself.
“We can see the doctor then they’ll let us know what they think.”
I hummed, bringing Natasha’s chin up as I pursed my lips to hers, moaning uncontrollably when her tongue dips into my mouth. God, she was such a good kisser; especially when she fucked me hard. I felt her cock pushing inside me again and I rolled my head back, descending myself from pleasure.
“Yeah,” she moans out. “Watch me fuck a baby in you then.”
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hehe
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hii I have a community question so I thought I'd reference your encyclopedia
are there any references to music that abed listens to? I know they do it for other characters sometimes (like I'm pretty sure britta said she liked the pixies but maybe I made that up) anyway I'm trying to make a playlist about him
thanks<333
hey! thanks for the ask 💯
after sitting here and scanning my brain’s database (and searching the internet) unfortunately I haven’t come up with much… I did remember about this:
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which is part of the whiteboard Abed had set up in 1x21 Contemporary American Poultry, on which he says he likes banjo music lmfao
the only other things I can think of are probably not very helpful at all, but I’m writing them down anyway lmao. he participated in defending The Barenaked Ladies from Jeff’s criticism (although, the entire group does that, and it probably doesn’t speak much to abed’s specific music taste), and maybe there’s a song he put into one of his documentaries or something? although, I’m pretty sure most of, if not all, the scoring for those is the same as the scoring for the actual show itself. he also dances to Roxanne by The Police in Remedial Chaos Theory, but, again, the whole group does, and everyone knows that song. also, at the end of 1x14 Interpretive Dance, he is shown tapdancing, and Merry Happy by Kate Nash is playing. but, I don’t think he put on the song himself— in fact I don’t think he can hear it at all, I think it’s just score. so, again, probably doesn’t speak to his actual music taste. but, in my personal opinion, that kind of music fits him the best, so I might look more into Kate Nash and related artists if I was making an Abed playlist.
so, yeah… his pop culture references don’t really seem to include music lol. there’s a chance he listens to movie soundtracks sometimes? movies like Back to the Future have some more commercialized songs on their soundtracks, so maybe he’s into that. looking more into soundtracks from classic 80’s films might help you a bit.
I did find this on his twitter (if you don’t know about the twitter character accounts lmk that’s a whole other can of worms that I am happy to open with you all) so obviously he has music he listens to, but I scrolled through all his tweets and he never mentions any specific artists or songs. lame
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but yeah. sorry that this was all I could do, dude. I’m gonna open the floor to anyone who has any Vital Information™ that I missed, or for anyone who just has some headcannons or opinions on what they think Abed might listen to. thanks again for the ask and I hope this was at least semi helpful o7
(also, you’re right about Britta liking Pixies! she has a poster up in her room in the cold open of the season 2 premiere, and also there’s this Jeff quote from Digital Estate Planning: “this place is twenty cat turds and a Pixies poster away from being your apartment.” she also likes Natalie is Freezing, but they only exist in the Community universe unfortunately lol. but at least those two things give us a handle on what music Britta likes. Abed remains an enigma lmao)
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beenbaanbuun · 8 months
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Late Night, Come Home - Kim Seokjin
It's been a while... sorry about that. I went through a period of writers block that turned into a year of writers block. Mix that with the fact that I travelled to the other side of the world for three months this summer. I've been a little busy lmaoooooo. Buy, hey, I'm back. No idea how often I'll be writing or posting and I wont promise anything, but this is a start, right?
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Words: 3.2k
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: Language, Making out, Jin being the nicest man alive
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You stood there, dripping rainwater onto the door mat outside of your neighbour's apartment. It was a long shot given the fact that it was almost 3 AM, but you had no choice. You couldn’t get into your own apartment and you desperately needed somewhere to stay for the night. You knocked again, the guilt of potentially waking him up already gnawing at you. 
“I’m coming,” a voice said from the other side of the door. The jingle of keys soon followed and before you knew it, the door swung open to reveal Kim Seokjin. Your neighbour. 
He stood there, looking down at you with barely open eyes. Pyjama bottoms hung loose around his hips as if they’d just been thrown on before he came to open the door, but he hadn’t had the courtesy to throw on a top. The knowledge that your neighbour slept naked sunk in slowly, a pink blush steadily rising through your body. 
“Hi, Mr Kim,” you greeted, voice sheepish. 
“Don’t call me that,” he grumbled, “makes me feel old.”
It was awkward. You didn’t know what to say. After all, you couldn’t exactly just barge into his house, nor could you really ask him if he’d let you sleep there. Your mother had always taught you that it was good manners to wait to be invited in. The last thing you wanted was to add to that by making him think you were rude. 
“Sorry,” you spluttered. You couldn’t look at him, scared that your eyes would linger for too long on his toned abs or his plush lips that you hadn’t really paid much attention to until now. Instead, you looked at your feet and the wet patch that surrounded them. You were lucky the hallway was sheltered, although you doubted your clothes could soak up any more water if they tried. 
“No problem,” he was avoiding looking at you too. You’d clearly gone out for the night and the tight white dress that had gone see through in the rain left nothing to the imagination. As much as he wanted to take a good long stare, he was a gentleman. “I assume it’s an emergency.” 
Was it? It felt stupid to say that it was, especially when the whole situation was avoidable. But as you stood there, terrified of the thought of having to sleep in the hallway all night, you decided that yes, it was an emergency. With your phone, keys and money all in your roommate’s bag, there really was no other word for it. Of course, you couldn’t help but remind yourself that if you’d taken your own bag, you wouldn’t be standing on your neighbour’s doorstep wondering if he’d give you a bed for the night. Hindsight was a wonderful thing. 
“I’m locked out,” you muttered, embarrassed about your predicament, “Kate has all my stuff and she’s off with her man doing… something.”
At the mention of your roommate, he rolled his eyes into the back of his head. It seemed odd that he had an issue with her given that the two rarely spoke. They’d say ‘hi’ to each other in the hall on occasion, but that was the extent of their contact with one another. 
“You’d best come in then,” the door was opened wider and Seokjin stepped back so that you could enter his home. You gladly obliged, limping slightly as you stepped over the threshold. You hadn’t noticed how bad your shoes had rubbed on the way back. You guessed you were too busy trying not to catch hypothermia. The pain was immeasurable though, and you yelped out as you took the step. 
Seokjin just shot you an unreadable look and gestured for you to stay there. It was his home, so you listened to him. It would be impolite not to. He scurried further into his apartment, disappearing for a moment or two. You didn’t mind though; it gave you plenty of time to inspect your surroundings. 
His apartment was much nicer than your own. Cleaner too. The wooden floors didn’t have so many chips, and the sage green paint wasn’t peeling away from the walls. The mirror that hung above his hardwood dresser was polished and lacked all the makeup splatters and finger marks that gave your own hallway mirror character. Even the plants he kept in there were so much nicer. Each of them was thriving, a plethora of healthy leaves coming from the stems, whereas yours were all brown and decaying. 
You grinned to yourself, the thought of Seokjin waking up every morning and watering his plants filling up your brain. You wondered if he wore the same checkered pyjama bottoms as he shuffled around with a watering can in one hand and a coffee in the other. It was almost sweet, the way that you pictured him in your brain. 
“You’re looking mighty happy for someone who resembles a drowned rat,” the grumpy voice of your neighbour brought you back down to earth though, wiping the smile off your face entirely. “Here.”
You focussed on him, noticing that he now had a lilac hoodie on. It was hard to hide your disappointment in the fact that you could no longer sneak tiny glances at his tanned stomach, but at least now you could look at him without feeling like a dirty voyeur. 
In one hand was a fluffy towel, lilac to match his jumper. In the other was a set of clothes with a pair of fluffy socks placed gently on top. Given your height differences, you were almost positive that his clothes would be way too big on you, but you were still thankful for the kind gesture. Honestly, you’d wear anything if it meant that you no longer had to feel the cheap material of your dress clinging to you like plastic wrap. 
“Oh, thank you,” you kept your responses to him formal, despite the fact that he didn’t have the courtesy to do the same. He did live here, you supposed, and it was 3 AM. He was probably too tired to act polite to the girl who had shown up on his doorstep. You were honestly thankful enough that he let you in in the first place. “Is there a bathroom I can change in?”
He nodded. 
“Down the hall to the left,” he said, “take your shoes off first, though. I’ve done well to avoid any chips.” 
Once again, you felt a twinge of embarrassment. You couldn’t believe you were just about to stroll across his pristine floor in the very shoes that were responsible for half of the dints in your own. How very inconsiderate of you, you scolded yourself as you slipped them off. 
“Thank you,” you said again. 
“Meet me in the kitchen when you’re changed, okay?” You nodded before shuffling your way to his bathroom. 
You were right, the clothes were huge on you. Not in a bad way, though. They were warm and cozy and the sleeves fell over your hands so you could make sweater paws with them. The material felt like clouds as it brushed against your damp, icy skin, and you were dreading when the time came for you to take them off and change back into your own clothes. How could you when you’d now felt the luxury of Seokjin’s?
The towel he’d given you was wrapped around your hair, slowly taking in all the water that had weighed it down. It felt good to no longer have long, wet strands sticking to your face and neck, and you were sure that with the quality of the towel, it’d be dry in no time. 
You gave yourself one last look in the mirror, a shy smile rising to your face as you realised just what was happening. It was like something out of a romance novel, except for the fact you were pretty sure your neighbour was only doing this because he was a good person, not because he was secretly in love with you. You took a deep breath and controlled your expression before you opened the bathroom door and followed the sound of a microwave spinning to the kitchen. 
As you stepped into the room, Seokjin was busy taking whatever it was out of the microwave. It smelled of stew, and the thought of a nice warm meal made your stomach rumble. The sudden sound caught his attention, and once again, you felt a familiar heat in your cheeks. 
“Come sit,” he pointed at a chair as he finished preparing the food, “It’s leftovers from today, but it should still be fresh.”
Honestly, you didn’t care about the freshness. You were just flattered that he’d gone out of his way to get you some food, even if all he did was microwave it. 
“Thank you.”
“Is ‘thank you’ the only thing you’re capable of saying?” His question caught you off guard a little. What else did he want you to say? You sent him a questioning look in return. “Well, you show up at my doorstep at stupid O’clock and all you say is you can’t get into your own apartment? I want a little more information than that, don’t you think?” 
You guessed he was right. You’d given him as little information as humanly possible and yet he still had the kindness to let you into his home, lend you his clothes and feed you. 
“What do you want to know?” You asked. 
“Everything, really,” he replied, “from the beginning.”
As you started to explain how on earth you got stranded, Seokjin moved to sit down across from you with a plate full of warm stew in his hand. He pushed it across to you, briefly interrupting your story to tell you to eat. You simply smiled, thanking him once again, and took the fork from his hand. Every so often, he’d take a break from listening to you and gesture to the food to remind you to take a bite. It seemed you were so wrapped up in the events of the night that you couldn’t even focus on anything other than recounting them. 
You didn’t know why, though. It’s not like you felt angry or betrayed by your friend, even though you probably should have. In your mind, you couldn’t help but try and justify her actions. She was sad about losing her job, and how was she to know that Lewis would be there to seduce her? She probably thought that staying with Lewis for the night would help get rid of some of her frustrations. 
“I don’t know,” you sighed. Explaining the whole situation just made you feel worse about the whole thing. Still, you couldn’t bring yourself to blame her. She was your best friend after all. “She’s just forgetful.”
“Why are you defending her?” Seokjin grumbled. 
“She’s my friend. 
“And she treats you like shit,” his voice was loud, but he wasn't angry. Frustrated was a better word to describe it. Annoyed, possibly, at your ignorance of your friend’s actions. You couldn't help but feel ashamed of your instinct to forgive her no matter what. “She’s lucky you made it here safe, you know. Anything could’ve happened.”
You felt like a child being scolded, and yet you knew you needed to hear it. It was the same things you’d been telling yourself for a while now, but ignoring your thoughts seemed like the best course of action. Having someone else lay them out in front of you made you realise just how stupid you’d been to value your friendship over your feelings.
There was a familiar ache in your head and your eyes welled up with glistening tears. Everything had just piled up and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. It’s just a shame you were sat with a man you barely knew instead of alone in your bedroom with a bottle of wine by your side to comfort you. 
And you half expected the atmosphere to get even more awkward. What, with you hunched over and sobbing into a half-eaten bowl of stew that was quickly going cold? It wouldn’t have been a surprise to you if Seokjin sat there in silence, unsure of what to do to help the woman he’d invited into his home. 
But then you heard his chair legs scrape along the floor, and the pitter patter of bare feet on the tile floor. And before you knew it, he’d squatted down next to you and placed a warm hand on your back. Soft, calming hushes left his mouth as soothing shapes were drawn onto your spine. 
“Get it all out, Y/N,” he whispered, “bottling it up never does any good.”
So you did. It was about 5 minutes before your tears ran out and all that was left were pathetic little sniffles every now and then. Seokjin remained silent, the only semblance of proof that he was still there being the hand that remained firmly on your spine. You were grateful; you didn’t need him to say anything else at that moment. You knew all you had to know. 
“Thank you, Seokjin,” you quietly snivelled out. He let out a snort of laughter. 
“I thought I told you to stop saying thank you,” you nodded, even though you knew you wouldn’t stop. You needed him to know you were grateful for everything he’d done. He didn’t have to let you into his home, just like he didn’t have to lend you clothes or feed you. He didn’t even have to sit and comfort you as you cried, and yet he did. As silly as you sounded saying it, you felt indebted to him. “And call me Jin. I think we’re past formalities.”
“Are we?” 
“I think so,” his voice remained soft as he talked to you as if he was still trying to help you through your mini-breakdown. “Practically best friends, by my standards.”
That fetched a laugh out of you. You’d barely spoken to the man before tonight, and yet he seemed intent on making you feel comfortable with him. And in a strange way, you did. He’d shown a lot more care towards you than he would if he classed you as a stranger, even though that’s pretty much what you were. You seemed to trust him more than a stranger too. Perhaps it was a mutual desire for something more to come out of this. A friendship, perhaps, although you wouldn’t mind if it led to even more than that. Seokjin was among some of the best-looking men you’d ever seen…
“Sure we are,” you gave him a sad smile, “Jin.”
He smiled in return. 
“That’s more like it,” the grin on his face was obvious when he spoke. “Now, how about you finish your stew and we can go get you settled into the spare room.”
You let out a chuckle as he grabbed the spoon and held it up to your lips. He made a show of blowing on the food to cool it down, and you couldn’t help but shudder at the proximity of his face to yours. As the spoon made contact with your ever-so-slightly parted lips, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. 
And it seemed as though he couldn’t either. As the spoon breached your lips he let out a heavy breath through his own. You didn’t know where the sudden tension came from, but it wasn’t unwelcome. Your only hope was that he felt it too. That he wanted to put his lips on yours just as badly as you wanted him to. 
And God, did you want him to. 
You didn’t even know where the urge had come from. The man had never piqued your interest before tonight, but perhaps seeing him in such a… domestic setting was what was getting you going. The pyjama pants that mismatched his hoodie in such a perfect way, or perhaps the bed head that he hadn’t even bothered to sort out since you’d stepped through his front door. Everything about him was just so familiar, and you didn’t even know the man. 
He did the same thing, grabbing a spoonful of stew before lifting it up to your face and blowing. Whether intentional or not, his breath tickled your face and you couldn’t help but scrunch up your nose. 
“You’re kind of cute, you know,” Jin whispered, once more pushing the food into your awaiting mouth. “I never noticed until now, but Jesus Christ, I could just…”
He trailed off, but you wanted nothing more than to hear what he had to say. You swallowed. 
“Just what?” 
There was a thud as the spoon hit the table and the hand that held it made it’s way up to your cheek. It rested there, thumb brushing your soft skin. 
“Just want to kiss you, baby,” he chuckled, leaning in a little closer until his face was just an inch from yours. “Are you okay with that?” 
Of course, you nodded. Enthusiastically, actually, which brought a bright smile to Jin’s face, but he made no move. 
“Words, baby.” 
“Yes, Jin,” your voice was quiet, “please kiss me.”
And with that, his lips were on yours. It was slow at first, as if the two of you were finding your feet. The way his plush lips gently caressed yours as the pad of his thumb matched the rhythm of the kiss on your cheek. 
It wasn’t long until you got a little braver, though, raising your own hands so you could grip onto his messy locks and pull him closer to you. He smiled against your mouth, nipping at your bottom lip with his exposed teeth. There was a sharp intake of breath from you before you dive back in for more, this time with a little more urgency. 
Lips crashed against lips feverishly and you couldn’t help but let out a little squeak as his tongue brushed against your lower lip. You let him in, of course, wanting nothing more than to feel Jin close. He seemed to realise that quickly, tugging your body to the edge of the seat and shuffling himself so that he was kneeling between your legs. You spread them wide so he could slot inside, as though the two of you were pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. 
It was a little strange, actually, how well the two of you seemed to fit together. His hair in your fingers felt normal, as did the way his large hands felt on your sides, and even though you’d perhaps spoken 10 words to one another since moving in next door, the feeling of him between your legs felt… perfect. 
Like he belonged there.
Eventually, the two of you pulled away for air and soft, breathy laughs filled the air. 
“Fuck, Y/N,” he laughed, leaning his forehead against yours, “I didn’t think I’d be making out with my neighbour at 4 in the morning, and yet…”
“Here we are.” 
“Here we are,” he grinned, “you must be tired.”
You nodded, although you wouldn't have minded staying up later with Jin.
But the man in question stood up, holding a hand out to you, and you couldn't help but let him pull you to your feet.
“Let's get you to bed.”
94 notes · View notes
justanamesstuff · 10 months
Text
The intimacy of being understood
Chapter 2
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Matty Healy x f!reader
A/N: Helloo, back with this baby...I really love this story since the start so I hope you're excited for more :)) Please let me know what you think!!
Warnings: PANIC ATTACK, slight mention of death, breakups, hurt feelings, typos.
Word count: 2. 7 k
Blog Masterlist Series Masterlist
The almost angelic sound of the bell made her look up from her book. A new customer, no one she knew. The woman wasn’t Matty. Y/n sighed, blaming Kate for making her create this new set of expectations about seeing Matty. She didn’t like the warmth that erupted on her chest re-thinking about the chats they had. 
Every day, the door opened or someone passed by, she gave herself the chat about how those feelings weren’t hers; how is just a reflection of Kate’s excitement about meeting one of her favourite artists. Y/n calmed down after that inner conversation until the minimal movement took her attention and her mind pictured Matty’s curls, or his sweet smile. 
She shook her head, trying to get back to the book waiting for her. At the same time, she was aware of the woman walking around the shop. 
*****
The day passed on a blur for Y/n. A handful of people came and go, some bought books, some of them didn’t. It was a good day for the shop, even when the owner had her head else where.
“Thank you.” she said to the supplier. 
“See ya’ next week.” the man exited the place, closing the door behind him.
Y/n waited for his van to disappeared, to turn the sign from ‘open’ to ‘close’. Once that was done, she faced the boxes all around her, full of books waiting to be sorted. Y/n huffed. The woman tried to find the energy she didn’t have at the end of her working day. Y/n thought maybe some music would help. 
After a few clicks around the computer’s screen, sooner, upbeat music surrounded the bookshop. Y/n moved her head, trying to follow the rhythm of the song, dragging the first box closer to the ladder leaning on one of the walls full of shelves with books. She grabbed a handful of the new collection and started climbing up.
She worked on automatic mode, when a voice startled her. 
“Enjoying the music?” her body trembled, the ladder responding to it, moving abruptly. Y/n held the sides of it with too much strength, her knuckles turned white. The remaining books that were on her hand flying until they fell beside Matty standing at the bottom of the ladder. The singer dodged the books, holding the ladder firm, so she didn’t fell. 
“Fuck! Sorry, you- oh my god.” Y/n noticed she was breathing quickly.
Matty looked up with puppy eyes, “I’m sorry, Y/n. Didn’t mean to.” he was truly sorry.  “Let me help you.” he offered.
“No, I got it.” she was too self-sufficient –to not say stubborn.
“I insist.”
“Matty…” she protested. “Go and read! I have this.” Y/n tried to reassure him, gifting the man with a smile.
“Know you do.” Matty continued fighting, taking his coat and jumper off, leaving them on the big couch. “Not in the mood for reading, really.” he shared, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Y/n couldn’t help to admire his strong forearms. “Get down” Matty used a stern tone. 
“Excuse me?” 
“I said, get down.”
“Matty.”
“Don’t be stubborn.” Matty noticed with satisfaction how she tried to find the right words. It was obvious she was struggling.
“I’m not.”
“Then get down.” Matty dared her. He stared, admiring her soft eyes. After a few minutes, she looked far from him and –defeated– walked down. She took the fallen books, meanwhile Matty giggled softly. 
Y/n tried to look presentable, arranging her clothes. Matty stood in front of her with a winning smile. He was happy to be in the shop after very long weeks. 
“Hey.” he greeted Y/n properly.
She felt her cheeks hotter than expected, “Hi.”
“Can I have those?” Matty titled his head towards the books Y/n was holding against her chest. 
“If you insist.” she tried to joke, look relaxed passing them.
He winked his eye, saying, “Thank you.” 
The singer proceed to climb like she had done before he showed up a few minutes ago. Y/n followed his form, trying really hard to prevent her eyes to follow how his shirt tensed up and the cloth of his pants tighten around his perfect bottom. Her face was burning when she detached her eyes from Matty, going to open another box of books. ‘What’s wrong with me’.
“So, are you listening to the 1975?” Matty made conversation from the top, leaving the books, copying the way Y/n presented the rest.
“Who?” she asked confused, which made Matty chuckled.
“The songs that have been playing…”
Y/n looked back to the computer. “Ah, no. Kate made this playlist and somehow sets everything, so I can’t change it. I’m starting to like it, though.” she admitted. 
“Because you have no choice?” Matty planted his feet on the floor, extending his hand to receive more books from her.
“Because they’re good. Didn’t know the name.” 
It warmed his chest knowing she was so natural, so sincere and true to herself. 
“They’re alright.” the singer tried really hard to not break his facade about the band. He was having fun with it, and it was a nice way to know what she really thought about them, about him.
“I like the change of voices the singer does.”
“Do you? Don’t think he’s a bit lame?”
“No, he’s fantastic.” Y/n contradicted him, almost offended by his question. “Do you like them? This the 1985?”
He laughed loud this time, “1975.” Matty softly corrected her. “Yeah, listen to them quite a lot.” He wasn’t lying.
“Good.”
“Kate is a big fan.”
“Is she here today?” Matty asked, without noticing the pain on her face. The woman thought that maybe he got a crush on her or something. The thought of Matty coming back because he fancied Kate and not for their conversations hurt her.
“No, disappointed? She’s sing-“ Y/n tried to play it cool, failing miserably. 
Although Matty cut her short, “Just asking.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“And if me coming here is about someone, it’s mainly about you.”
Y/n cringed when she heard her mouth spat a, “Doubt that.” as a reflex reply.
“You have a wonderful place here.” the singer tried to save the moment.
“I've noticed you liked it.” 
“Did you?” Y/n ignored the suggestive tone.
“I don’t have many regulars…”
Matty jumped from the second to last step to the floor. “You break my heart.”
“Liar.” Y/n mumbled, making him laugh again. “So, why aren’t you in the mood for reading today? If you don’t mind me as-“
“My ex and… the breakup.” Matty was so sincere sometimes during their conversations, making her feel special, even though he was probably like that with a lot of people. 
“Sorry, you dont-“
“Didn’t happen today…but y’know how this stuff works…”
“Can’t say…no, I’ve-“ Y/n felt her palms gathered a moister it wasn’t there seconds ago. Her mind fogging with thoughts about how to move, what to say, how to breath. However, Matty didn’t seem to notice at first and continued working. 
“Have you ever had a boyfriend?” he asked like nothing. The singer could never tell Y/n was feeling suffocated by her clothes and her own skin. She gasped for air, pulling the collar of her jumper but that didn’t help even a bit. 
“I did, I just-“ Y/n felt the walls closing down, approaching her little by little. Everything seemed too much at the moment. Speaking was a difficult task. She tried to steady her breathing,  “I’m sorry, I- what I was saying?” Y/n pressed her palm against her forehead.  
Her broken sentences warned Matty. The man turned around, analysing her factions rapidly.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I-“ Jason’s face showing up on her mind felt like someone was pushing her soul away from her body. Y/n stumbled back a few steps, without noticing Matty ran towards her. 
“Y/n?” he asked. 
She couldn’t look back or even replied. The words were wrong, her tongue was heavy inside her mouth and didn’t respond to her brain instructions. Her limbs started to failing too.
“Hey, hey…sit down.” Matty urged her, guiding her weak body closer to the couch. The singer kneeled down in front of her “Panic?” Y/n refrained from speaking, she replied with a nod. “Okay, do you need me to do anything?” she looked inside his eyes, but a fog blinded her. “Y/n!” Matty snapped, bringing her back. The woman blinked a couple of times. “Repeat what I do.” he instructed Y/n repeating a breathing pattern. 
“That’s good, love.” he praised her. “Do you want me to hold your hand?” she nodded again. “Okay, I'm here…let it pass, Y/n.”
Matty’s eyes never left her face and her shoulders. He felt the urge to hold her body closer, even though he knew that wasn’t everyone's go-to tool during a panic attack. Matty kept drawing different patterns –letters and circles– on her hand, trying to bring her mind back. 
The frontman repeated the words ‘in’ and ‘out’ from time to time, when Y/n couldn’t help holding her breath. He patted her hand slightly, so she looked directly into his eyes and they started again.
After a while, Matty saw how her body started to relax, and his copied her. He didn’t notice he was tense, expecting her to relax. Once the veil shielding her eyes disappeared, Matty dared to speak again.
“Can I sneak in the back to get you water?”
“Yes.” Y/n spoke for the first time, the sound coming out strangled and weird.
“Stay right here.”
Matty left, leaving an exhausted Y/n sitting on the centre of the shop. She looked outside, noticing it started to rain. Her eyes fell on the door, looking at the sign of open/close. 
Her body filled with a wave of self consciousness, thinking how she had a panic attack in front of Matty. She prayed for the floor to swallow her form
“Here.” Matty came to his previous position, knelling in front of Y/n. His attentive sight on her, watching how she emptied the glass. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry.” she left the glass beside them on the floor.
“None of that.”
Y/n hid her face behind her hands, “I’m so embarrassed.” 
“Y/n, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Had a lot of them myself.”
“Really?”
“Yes, specially after the breakup with…well, ex-girlfriend now. We were going to marry, and I’m not coping well with things. Your shop is the only place I feel secure enough, away from her memory- Sorry, you didn’t ask-“
It was her time to interrupt him, taking his warm hand on hers, “Thanks for sharing this with me, Matty.”
“Y/n?”
“Yes?”
“Did I say or do something to upset you?” Matty asked, still holding Y/n’s hand. His warmth was comforting.
“I-“
“It’s fine, you don’t have to…” 
Y/n couldn’t repress a thought coming to the front of her head. It was a very used phrase, she heard it before many times, even though it was the first time she felt it. Y/n believed about feeling had met him ages ago –not only months–, or during another life. She never felt something similar with Jason, it was another range of emotions. 
“Boyfriend.” she struggled to say it finally. 
“Bad breakup?” 
Matty let go of her hand, feeling cold without her soft skin glutted to his.
“Not…really.” Y/n made a pause. “He’s not around any more…like, I can even say it even when month have passed…he’s not ali- he d-“ she chocked on her words, feeling tears streaming down her face.
The singer wasn’t sure if it was a matter of empathy or selfishness to taker her hand again between his. Matty always, since he met her, felt the urge to be around Y/n. It was an itch under his skin, repeating her name.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Y/n. I’m such an idiot to mention-“
“You didn’t know.”
“Still.”
“Thanks for staying today…and coming back to the shop…” she dared to say.
“I love this place, you do an amazing job.”
The heat came back to her cheeks. “Thanks.”
“I’ll finish with the books, okay? Don’t move!” he instructed her, trying to be funny so she cheered up a little. 
Y/n laughed at his antics. “Okay.”
Matty kept the conversation going. He did more of the talking than Y/n because he understood she was exhausted after the attack. The woman noticed his effort adding the fact that he did all the work she was supposed to be doing. He was an angel who didn’t fall from the skin, he simply walked into his life. Y/n felt grateful with universe.
*********
It was pitch black outside when Matty finished unboxing –what felt like– hundreds of boxes with the new collection of books.
“I'll free you from my presence now.” the singer informed her, putting back on his jumper and coat. She didn’t want to see him leave, but it wasn’t fair to delay him more.
“Oh, shit…it’s really late, I’m sorry.” she truthfully said. 
Time with him passed quickly. 
“Please, don’t! It was a good evening.”
“Really?” she crocked an eyebrow. ‘How grounding someone after a panic attack equals a good evening’.
“Yes.”
Y/n stood up from the couch, fixing her clothes, so her eyes weren’t glutted to Matty’s face. “Good to know I didn’t scare you off.” she teased him.
“Never.” the firm reply made her blush.
“Well, see you around, Matty.” Y/n said goodbye, standing awkwardly away from him.
He looked at her one more time and started walking closer to the door. “I’ll see you soon, Y/n.”
“Bye.”
The breeze from outside washed the room. Matty’s body was almost entirely out of the shop when he abruptly turned around. The action surprised Y/n, who was staring at him.
“Oh, Y/n…” he said, as if he remembered something.
“Yeah?” 
“I have to travel for…work. So, I won’t be here for a month or two. Please don’t believe I ran away.” his eyes stared back into her’s from across the place. He was moving anxiously on his place while he spoke, it was a sweet scene. 
“Ah, okay. Don’t worry, good luck with work!” she wished for him.
“Thanks.”
After that, Matty walked outside, turning to his right, giving her a chance to look at the singer through the showcase. 
*****
Five minutes after Matty left, Kate opened the door. She was visibly tired, even though Y/n’s friend had promised to pay for dinner that day, and she couldn’t let her best friend down. 
“Hello, my dear…ready for dinner?” she asked as the father of a family coming back from work. 
“Oh, hi! You won't believe who just left.” 
“The King?” Kate asked and Y/n shook her head. “Just tell me, I’m too tired for this.” Y/n’s friend urged her to speak, rubbing her eyes.
“Matty was here.”
“What? When? Where? Is he-” Kate started to look around the shop.
Y/n clarified with a smug smile on her face, “He left five minutes ago…”
“You have to be kidding me!”
“He helped with the new collection of books. They arrived today.” Y/n explained, turning the computer off, so they can leave. 
“Matty Healy helped you with what?” Kate rested her arms heavy on the front desk watching her friend move.
“I was listening to your playlist and doing it myself, then he came in.”
Kate gasped, “Wait, wait!” she repeated. “You were listening to ‘the 1975’ with Matty Healy?” 
“Yes! He mentioned the band!” Y/n innocently answered.
“Y/n, you’re truly something else.” Kate started laughing, resting her forehead on the wood surface.
“Hey!” she protested.
“Babe, he’s the lead singer of the 1975!” Kate enlightened her, turning her head enough, watching how Y/n’s face changed.
Y/n hid her mouth with the palm of her hand. “Oh my god!” she had embarrassed herself twice in front of Matty. 
“He didn’t tell you?” Kate pushed her head up.
“No?”
Kate squinted her eyes, “Interesting.”
“Please, don’t start.” Y/n asked, walking towards the front door.
“I wasn’t.” Kate walked behind her, pushing her hands up –showing her innocence. 
“Fine, let’s go.” the owner of the bookshop said, turning the lights off. 
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Taglist (let me know if you want to be included): @indierockgirrl @x-a-black-winged-dove-x @iregretbeingherewheniwas10 @hswannaknow
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darkwaveho · 2 years
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Summary: Wanda is a mess and things keep falling apart, that’s all tbh 💀
Parings: Stoner!Wanda x Reader
Warnings:18+, cursing, heavy angst I guess, groping, stalking, obsessive behavior, non con things, harassment, minor violence, drug use, alcohol use, mentions of vomit.
A/n:  This part is finally out, writers block was really getting me with this one but thanks for staying patient with me and Yall I don’t know wtf the word count is but just know this shit is long af....I apologize in advance and happy reading!! Also let me know if it’s not showing up in the main tags please! 🙏🏽😭
part10|  Part 12
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“I’m sorry the number you have reached doesn’t associate with backstabbing bitches!” you yell through the phone so loud you would think Kate had you on speaker phone as she paces back and forth in her room. here you were again back at the start of all of this avoiding Kate and avoiding Wanda. well avoiding them as much as your mind could muster before losing your shit. the constant texts and calls from both of them had you steering clear of your phone and social media in general. You were starting to regret ever hooking up with Wanda, giving her the time of day, and playing into her cat and mouse game.
you should’ve put an end to all of this. maybe you should’ve just taken that step with Daisy instead, she did warn you to stay away from Wanda and somehow, she had you locked in a trance. you got lost in her easily, from the gifts to the dates and to her opening up more to you showing a different side of her. she obviously had another side you weren’t aware about; Jean was right about that one. you didn’t know she would stoop to that level of evil. “Y/n/n, please let me explain.” The phone goes dead before she could muster up any more excuses as to why she did what she did to you. 
“Uh Lena what are you doing? and why are you up so early?” you eye her cautiously never seeing her up so early before unless she needed to, and she didn’t have any classes today. “I’m walking you to class to make sure no one bothers you, duh.” she says it obviously as she throws her jacket on and slips her shoes on.
 “Yelena, I don’t need you to walk me-” Yelena’s pushing you out the door cutting off your denial of her escorting you to class. “I’m not asking you y/n/n, now let’s go” she locks the door and walks with you down the hallway. “Plus, you need to buy me some replacement band-aids I used the last ones I had on you.” you bump her shoulder “If all you wanted was for me to replace them you could’ve just said that. No need to walk me, I’ll get them.” 
“Y/n, hush I want to walk you to class, the band-aids are just a bonus perk.” the band-aids were a bonus perk, but Yelena would be lying if she said she wouldn’t be looking forward to seeing Wanda for a rematch. as promised Yelena walked you to class even waited outside for your class to end to walk you to the next one. Kate stopped like a deer in headlights when she saw you and Yelena. the expression on Yelena’s face sent her scrambling the other way. Yelena didn’t like doing that to her friend but as long as you were mad at her Yelena would be mad at her. no one could tell you how to feel about this situation.
Not seeing Wanda anywhere around Yelena agreed to let you attend your last class alone. the only reason you haven’t spotted Wanda yet was because you went off your usual schedule that Kate provider with. at times you where you were supposed to be in the coffee shop you were on the other side of campus waiting patiently in your seat until your professor started class. but of course, Wanda could never truly stay away from you. spotting her as soon as you stepped foot outside of the lecture hall building you attempt to speed past her which obviously fails. Wanda approaches you with confidence and hints of her anxiety showing through that facade.
“I got these for you.” she holds out a bouquet of flowers to you, the same flowers she bought for you when she asked you to go on a date with her. she shifts uncomfortably as you make no move to receive the flowers from her. Wanda wants to break down right here the longer you stand there staring into her. she releases a breath when your finger barely but lightly brushes against hers. 
“Can you please talk to me?” she dips her head desperately trying to catch your eye. still not saying anything you avoid eye contact with her. “I miss you.” she takes the opportunity to step forward as you let your walls down a little. “I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore, I’m sorry.” she sneakily leans in to kiss you, her lips grazed yours slightly not making full contact as you turned away just in time. 
You shove her away and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. how could she think a basic apology, some flowers and an unwanted kiss would be the solution to what she did? “Fuck you, did you do that to any of your other throw aways or just me?” 
Wanda licks her lips and keeps her tears at bay for the moment with you rejecting her kiss and her advances to make things right. she reaches for you giving you reassurance that you weren’t like the others. you’re special. “Y/n, you’re not a throwaway.” 
you step back as she reached to comfort you. you didn’t want to see her let alone be touched by her right now. “Stay the fuck away from me” Wanda flinches with the harshness of your voice she’s seen you angry before, she been yelled at by you before about an old hookup coming up to you two in public, but even then, you didn’t sound as enraged as you do in this moment.
“I get that you’re upset but—”
“But what? It’s not a big deal? Exchanging drugs for a favor isn’t a big deal? Exchanging me for drugs isn’t a big deal?”
“I wasn’t thinking like that in the moment, I apologize. I just wanted you to give me a chance.”
“And you thought manipulation and bribery was going to help you get it?”
“Well to be fair it did” you swat at her a few times. “Ouch! Ouch!” she frantically breathes out. “Okay I’m sorry shit! That was fucked up, I’m sorry” she puts her hands up to surrender.
“I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“What?”
“You heard me.” She shakes her head no. you stand your ground not letting her think this was a joking matter or something light-hearted.
“I don’t want you around me, don’t call me, don’t text me, and I don’t want you anywhere near my classes.” every word that came out of your mouth was an extra stab wound to her chest. an extra stab to her already wounded and drained heart. This can only be described as overkill.
“I made a mistake! Please it’s been good for us, right? C’mon admit it you had fun with me, you like me, you really, truly, genuinely like me.”
“Yeah.”
“See I knew it you can’t let this get between us I’ll-“
“I liked you, as in past tense.” you set your jaw and keep the burning fire of intense in your eyes. your mind was already made up.
“What?”
“This whole thing just really reopened my eyes I thought I misjudged you but clearly I should trust my intuition more.” silence carries on as the two of you stand in front of each other. “Well congratulations you got what you wanted; you had your fun with me. now you can move on or go back down memory lane with Jean. I really don’t care.” Wanda was quick to dismiss your thoughts of her ever leaving this relationship and pursing Jean. “I don’t want anyone else; I just want you, I’m sorry.”
If you were even going to think about giving her another chance you needed to know everything. “What else did you lie about? What else have you done behind my back?” She hesitates and that give it away that she was hiding something else from you. “Are you going to tell me or am I going to find out about it from Jean as well?” She swallows the lump in her throat and mum les the words low and casually. So low that you couldn’t hear her. “Wanda, I’m not playing with you what else don’t I know about?” 
“Well, that day in the café, after you left…” 
“Spit it out Wanda!” 
“I told Daisy to stay away from you.” 
“What?” 
“I-I told her to stay away from you.” 
“And she did it? What do you have on her? Did you pay her off or bribe her too?” You eye her up and down before the words come out of your mouth spewing anger. “Did you blackmail her too?” Wanda looks away from you in shame and guilt. “I threatened to out her true identity, Daisy was placed in witness protection, so she basically got a new start after the whole hacking set up thing.” You shove her multiple times until she’s backed up on a tree. the flowers she spent time on getting arranged now ruined and dropped on the cold wet ground. “You’re a real slithering slimy bitch you know that?” Well shit that hurts and she’s been called worse by worser people. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself!” 
“That’s not true! I care about Natasha, Yelena, Pietro and I care about you!” You shake your head “No, you don’t because if you did you wouldn’t have hurt the people I care about!” your voice wavers a little, but you remain strong by clearing your throat. “And you wouldn’t have hurt me.”
“Princess-“ you cut her off and hold your hand up, as hot salty tears stream down her face. “No! You made me think Daisy didn’t care about our friendship. You made me believe your goddamn lies! And the whole time you were the reason for her being weird to me and avoiding me!” you exhale exhaustedly from the newfound information. “You could’ve ruined Daisy’s fucking life! how can you not see what you did was wrong? Who are you to be the judge of her past when you’re out here doing shit just as bad. You tried to take her second chance at life away from her.”
“I’m sorry” she softly breathes out into the cold air. Sorry wasn’t enough, not at this level. you didn’t want to see her face right now. The longer you stare at her in silence the further you grow apart from one another. Wanda felt it. She felt you gearing to turn your back on her. Within a blink of an eye, you were turning on your heels and walking away from Wanda. As soon as the shock wore off, she was right behind you already chasing you and ready to beg and plead on this cold wet ground in front of anyone who walked by. She didn’t care she just wanted things to go back to normal she wants to have her relationship back she wanted another chance. And most importantly she wanted to take that favor back now.
“No” she clings onto you with desperation sobbing into your hoodie. (Her hoodie)
“No, let go of me!”
“I said I was fucking sorry!” She could only take so much rejection she was bound to blow up at some point. Which you didn’t understand because all of this was her doing, she was the reason for everything ending as quickly as it started.
“Just stay the hell away from me Maximoff, I mean it” she was back at square one. Back to you calling her by her last name instead of the cute nicknames you’ve been calling her for a month now. She didn’t think it was possible for her to feel sick from the sound of her name coming from your lips.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you, shit I’m just really losing it right now” she brushes her fingers through her hair and takes a deep breath to steady herself. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, please.” she pleads again, once more desperation was it the all-time high now, she’s never begged for anything this much in her entire life.
“I’ll do anything!” once again she was desperate to respond to you, she was desperate to fix this she’d do anything you asked of her. “Anything?” you eye her questioningly wondering if she truly meant what she said right now or if it was another one of her lies.
“Yes!” 
“I want you to give me space.”
“Princess.” her face falters as she hears the word she hated. space. she was totally against it but everyone one else seemed to think that would help the situation, why did you need space if you two were talking things out right now? “You said you would do anything, right? or was that another lie, as well?” Wanda swallows the lump in her throat and shakes her head, she’d never lie or keep anything from you again after this. “No, it’s not a lie.” she steadies her breathing for a moment, Wanda felt the urge of an anxiety attack coming on. 
“I’ll give you space.” Wanda says the words immediately and yet it doesn’t sound convincing to you. Did she really have the self-control and the willpower to finally show you an ounce of respect or was she so set in her ways that nothing mattered as long as she gets what she wants in the end? 
“Okay, then.” you nod once after eyeing her cautiously. the moment you turn your back on her, her hand halts you for one last time. Wanda pulls you into a bear tight hug. “Wanda, we just talked about this!” she doesn’t say anything, she only hugs you closer and tighter. she slowly and softly drags her nose against the side of your neck inhaling your scent that she’s been having withdrawals from the past few days. When you’ve had enough of her touch you shrug her off not wanting her to assume things were going to be okay. “I know, I know” Wanda releases an uneven breath and bites her lip to keep from bawling her eyes out. the next word that comes out of her mouth causes her voice to crack. “Space.” she reluctantly releases her hold on you and steps back.
 In that moment part of you wants to forget the whole thing and forgive her. you went back in forth in your mind asking yourself if you were overthinking things and blowing this thing out of proportion but then you think back to bright red flags about what she did to Kate and what you just found out about what she said to Daisy. The anger that was slowly fading away reignited again once her hands and her touch was no longer embracing you. 
“Good.” you clear your throat and step back from Wanda. turning on your heel you avoid all eye contact as you begin to walk away from her before she speaks up again. “Will you text me, call me or do you want to email me? I can even give you-” you hold your hand up to stop her rambling on any other day you thought it was cute but as of lately anything she does just made her look evil in your eyes. 
“If I decide that I know longer want space you’ll know.”  That’s the only reply you give her before you walk away from her completely. Wanda doesn’t think that’s too bad. you just needed space and time to think on things. you’ll yell at her tell her not to do anything like that again and then things will go back to normal. Or at least normal enough as to where she’s not on constant edge of you leaving her after she’s just got a taste of the committed lifestyle. Giving you space wouldn’t be that hard to do right?
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Space. 
The word Wanda repeated in her mind since the word left your lips, she never experienced this feeling before. she’s never had the feeling of loss on an intimate level.  she deterred from smoking to drowning in alcohol bottles, the only other time she’s done this is when she’s had one of her many arguments with her father. Natasha returns to the apartment to find the place a mess, Wanda hasn’t gone to any of her classes she was still in the same spot as earlier when Natasha left, laid out across the couch looking pitiful and when she wasn’t feeling low. She was finding any and everything in the apartment to take her mind off of you, watching tv, smoking and randomly dancing around the apartment but nothing worked, of course. “Wanda, did you go to class today?”
Wanda avoided eye contact with Natasha and turned back to the tv and started fidgeting with her rings. “No, I was going to but then I thought about getting y/n some flowers, so I went to that flower shop that she likes and ordered a bouquet, and I waited outside her last class.” Natasha sighs drops her bag on the floor and flops down next to Wanda. “So how did that go?” she already knows the answer if things went how Wanda wanted them to go, she’d be walking in on a different mess in the apartment. 
“She...she told me to give her space and that she needed to think on things.” Natasha hums in agreement. “Well, that’s not so bad, I told you that’s what she needed in the first place. See all you have to do is stop being stubborn and listen to me.” Natasha tries to lighten the mood a bit with a joke, but it doesn’t quite land with Wanda, she’s still stuck in her mind. 
Natasha’s not going to take up for Wanda no matter how long they’ve known each other for she was wrong to that to Kate. it was a dick move she couldn’t understand why Wanda didn’t just try being persistent on her own. All she had to do was be herself and wait for you to come around. nevertheless, Natasha can’t stand to see Wanda like this maybe she can talk to you, and you’ll think about at least hearing Wanda out and giving her another chance. Was Natasha being too hopeful?
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True to her words Natasha found you and she didn’t have to go the same route as her best friend, she bumped into you naturally on your way from class. “Shit! I’m sorry.” bumping into Natasha had her papers flying everywhere and eventually piled on the ground. you make quick work to pick them up before the wind blows them away. “It’s okay, y/n I wasn’t really watching where I was going.” Natasha follows suit squatting down to pick up some of her papers eventually curiosity got the best of you, and you took a peek at one of Natasha’s fleeing papers.  “I didn’t know you were a psych major.” 
“Yeah, I like learning about the way a mind works, what makes people do things, and what causes reactions.” she gives you her signature smirk that you’ve gotten to know during your time with Wanda and hanging out at the apartment. “Right, well here’s your papers, and sorry again.” you step aside after handing Natasha her papers, she only counters you with a sidestep of her own. 
“How are you doing?” 
“As good as anyone can do after being pimped out.” you nod your head in smooth slow stroke. “Shit, right sorry, it’s just weird not seeing you around as much. I know it’s only been a few days but it’s weird.”
“She’s been drinking a lot, y/n and you know she’s not even a drinker. she feels terrible and also looks the part. Look bottom line is she’s a mess, and she feels very regretful about what she did.” you cut Natasha off before she finishes. “And she should!” 
“You’re totally right, I’m not making excuses for her I just... can you just talk to her at the frat party tonight?” Natasha sees no movement or waver in your decision, so she continues further. “I don’t beg for things, and I’m sure you know that about me but right now I’m begging you to give my idiot best friend a small chance to make things right.” Natasha dips her head to catch your avoiding eyes. she plays dirty and pulls out the word that she knew would get you to cave in completely. “Please.” she was sick and tired of seeing her friend so miserable. for Wanda’s wellbeing and for Natasha’s sanity.
“Okay, fine I’ll talk to her.” you give in to Natasha’s request partly because you actually wanted to hear what she had to say for herself and her actions. If Natasha was going this hard to beg and say please for you to talk to Wanda, she must believe that her best friend is truly sorry for her actions. Natasha isn’t one to sugar coat things not even for Wanda.
“Thank you.” Natasha exhales for her plan working and at the fact that she’d be able to finally get a good night’s rest if the two of you made up. “I hope Wanda knows how great her best friend is.” 
“Oh, I’m sure she knows how great and irreplaceable I am, just like she knows how great and irreplaceable you are.” she ends her response with her signature smirk and a playful wink. “Right, I’ll see you around Nat.” you nod once and part your separate ways not waiting for her to say a farewell. “See you tonight, y/n!” as you walked away Natasha thought of everything that she could for a list of demands if the two of you got back together tonight. since she would be the main reason for it and the fact that she had to deal with an uneasy, anxious Wanda Maximoff every day since that night at the drive- in she deserves compensation for her services.
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Going back to your shared dorm room you gave Yelena the whole run down of what happened while watching a movie in her room. “So, what are you going to do about Wanda, y/n?” The mood in the atmosphere changed instantly with the mention of her name again. “I’m going to the party at the frat house and I’m going to hear her out and see just how sorry she is.” 
“Really?” Yelena asked in a shocking tone. “It’s just I thought you were completely done with her.” 
“I was or I thought I was it’s kind of hard I really liked her and finding out just how she really was and how I was blinded by the things she did.” Just talking about with your friend made you angry you can’t imagine how things will go when you actually talk to Wanda at the party. Yelena hums in understanding.
 “I respect your decision, but I will say that I’m not too happy about you thinking of giving her another chance. I gave her warning ahead of time for fucks sake.”
“I haven’t decided on anything yet, Lena.” 
“Yeah, but when you do just know I’ll respect your decision and I will also be on her like a hawk, and I’ll be in your business with no shame whatsoever.” she pops a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth. “And just so you know I’m going with you to the party, non-negotiable.”
“You already do that. In fact, you’ve been doing that since we met, and I already knew you were going to say that.” She shrugs her shoulders and grabs a handful of popcorn from the bowl and focuses back on the television screen. “Aren’t I the greatest best friend?” Yelena was letting it be known early on that if you forgave Wanda that didn’t mean she had to. She was known to keep a grudge. she really was the best person you could ask for. “Yeah, you’re the greatest.” you lean your head on her shoulder and continue eating your ice cream while turning back to the tv.
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The moment Wanda stepped foot in the party she went straight to the liquor cabinet and even took the liberty of smoking Thor’s blunt. Natasha let it slide only because it was a way to calm Wanda’s nerves down a little. but the further along the party went and Wanda didn’t see you she gave up hope and decided to get trashed. Natasha storms over to her pushing multiple bodies out of the way. 
“Wanda, what the hell is wrong with you?” she grabs Wanda’s arm pulling her into the kitchen area. “And give me that.” she snatches the cup of alcohol from her. “I got y/n to come to the party and she agreed to talk to you don’t make me look bad, I really put in a good word for you because I truly believe you made a mistake, don’t make me regret it. you’re playing with my creditability here and my judge of character.” 
“Wait, you got princess to talk to me? you’re the best natty, you love me, don’t you?” Wanda perks up finally registering the words Natasha said moments ago and completely ignoring the scolding she was receiving. “Yes, I got her to come here tonight and you’re a fucking mess.” 
“Fuck.” Wanda releases the word as a whisper and starts to panic. “Hey, relax go up to Scott’s room and sober up a bit, okay? I’ll tell y/n to meet you.” Wanda nods her head and take calculated breaths to refrain from passing out. “Wanda takes two steps before she turns around to Natasha again. “Can you walk with me?”  Natasha couldn’t say no, her best friend needed a small sense of comfort during this anxious time. “Yeah, I’ll walk with you, let’s go.” Natasha nods her head once links her fingers through Wanda’s and leads her upstairs to Scott’s bedroom. 
“Alright go splash some water on your face and sit tight.” 
“Mmkay.” Wanda walks into the bathroom and stops mid-way before Natasha leaves. “Nat!” Natasha pokes her head around to face her best friend. She hums in acknowledgment with a curious expression. “What’s up?” 
“Thank you.” Wanda gives her best friend a sincere loopy smile as a small display of gratitude.
“I got your back, now fix yourself up so you can get your wifey back. And try not to do anything stupid just stay here and sip on the water.” They both nod in agreement before they go about their separate tasks. 
Natasha spots you in the crowded room dancing and knocking back every shot on the counter before going back to your red solo cup. she knows you haven’t been here that long, and she thought this was her perfect opportunity to approach you about Wanda since she didn’t see her little sister guarding you from anyone, she felt would hurt you. 
Yelena was supposed to return to your side after getting a drink from the backyard, but she gave into to temptation when she was approached by Kate, and she ultimately decided to hear her out. Natasha pushes through the sea of people and loudly speaks over the music. “Hey, Wanda’s upstairs, first door on the right, she’s waiting for you.” 
“Nat, I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to her tonight.” You take a big swig from the red solo cup which was obviously a bad mistake once it goes down. The burning sensation and the taste didn’t numb you, even though you already pre-gamed. What was with the two of you, both of you were hitting rock bottom. Natasha does the same thing she did to Wanda, she snatches the cup and tells you to get yourself together. “You both need to be somewhat sober enough to fix this, now please just go talk to her.” 
 “You wouldn’t lie to me would you Nat?” The burning question you just asked Natasha was quickly answered the moment it left your lips. 
 “Never, I would never lie to you, Wanda feels terrible I’ve never seen her so low. The closest I’ve seen her get like this is when she and her father got into a heated argument.” You eye her cautiously not knowing if this was part of another scheme of Wanda’s and she pulled her best friend in to save her. The words that come out of Natasha’s mouth give you the extra push you needed to prepare yourself for the serious confrontation that lays ahead, more specifically upstairs. 
“Do you trust me?”
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Wanda did everything she could think of to sober herself up, splashing water on her face multiple times, drinking water from the water bottle Natasha grabbed for her. The next step was to calm her nerves. She practiced a few lines in the mirror trying to put as much emotion in her words as possible her chanted words get interrupted when she hears the knock on the bathroom door, she was so out of touch with her senses that she didn’t even notice the knock on the bedroom door. she releases one last breath and exits the bathroom. Wanda immediately feels eager, hungry, hands all over her. Hands she knows aren’t yours. Panic rises within her the second she sees Jeans face. “Jean what the fuck! you can’t be in here get out.” she points to the door and tries dragging Jean by her arm. 
“Stop, it’s okay. I know y/n dumped you, just let me make you feel better.” Jean leans in for a kiss, Wanda was barely able to dodge her lips. Her breath reeked of alcohol, much like Wanda’s but she wasn’t as tipsy. “I miss you; I know you didn’t mean what you said at the drive-in.” her hands roam Wanda’s body as she continuously tries to place her lips upon her. The sound approaching on the other side of the door sent wand in her fight or flight mode. the only logical thing she could think of was to drag Jean inside of the closet and wait it out. “Get in the fucking closet.” 
“I’m not getting in there it’s fucking gross.” 
“I’m not playing with you get in the closet.” Wanda harshly whispers to Jean. the devious face jean made put Wanda one step ahead of her she was making a motion to speak loudly. Wanda slaps her mouth with her hand and successfully drags jean inside of the closet with her, she couldn’t take any chances.
“Wanda?” Her heart beats in her chest as she scrambled to drags Jean to the closet door. You walk in the room after a few minutes of silence. “Wanda?” Did Natasha play you? Or was Wanda off somewhere else not interested in fixing things like she claimed. “Yes.” You hear her muffled voice coming from the direction of the closet. You curious as to why she’s in there but Natasha did tell you how much Wanda’s been drinking lately. 
“Am I supposed to talk to you through the door the whole time or are you coming out?” You place your hand on you hip and tilt your head waiting for her to reveal herself from behind the door. Wanda motions for Jean to be quiet with her finger pressed against her lips. Jean only returns her motions with an evil smirk and a motion of her own for Wanda to plant a kiss on her lips. 
Wanda scrunches her face together and angrily shakes her head denying jeans silent request. Jean makes a motion to speak as she opens her mouth wide. Wanda was quick to slap her hand on Jean’s mouth. The sound didn’t go unnoticed by you, and you were honestly tired of standing here staring at the wooden door. Jean takes the opportunity to slide her hands low, unbuckling Wanda’s pants with haste. 
Wanda was in a dilemma here. She could either let Jean have her way in this closet and lose you or she could shove Jean away from her. which would cause even more attention to the closet and lose you anyway. 
“Wanda are you okay in there? seriously if you don’t want to talk about it just say so. I’m not playing this game with you.” 
“No!” She shouts the reply back quickly, but it was also directed towards Jean as she started tugging on Wanda’s pants even more, they were pooled at her ankles. “I- I mean no games, I want to talk this out.” 
“Okay, so come out of the closet then.” Wanda giggles at your response, she was still under the influence despite her manhandling Jean on the other end of the door. “Uh actually how about we go talk outside and I’ll just meet you downstairs?” Wanda was struggling to keep her composure as Jean resumed her previous task of touching any part of Wanda that she could. 
“Enough, open the door.” you walk closer to the closet door knowing when something is off with Wanda you needed to actually see her, especially since Natasha informed you of her new love of alcohol. “Wait!” she hears your footsteps sound closer she panics and holds on to the doorknob for dear life. “Wanda, stop playing around!” you turn the knob and yank the door open as hard and fast as you can. “Open, the damn door!”
 The silence was intense the loud booming music that sounds throughout the house was somehow tuned out from this room. The moment you yanked the door open you were left speechless from what you saw. The warmth drains from Wanda’s entire body as she frantically pushes jeans eager hands away from her sagging pants. “Princess” The pet name leaves her lips. this time it hurt worse than it did before because this time you were already in an established relationship with Wanda it wasn’t a fling or one night stand. “I swear it’s not. I didn’t do anything, it’s not what it looks like.” She steps forward out of the confined space still clutching her sagging pants with one hand raised just in case you started to swing at her. “So, what is it like then?” Shifting your eyes from Wanda to jeans figure in the background. 
“Jean, do you want to tell me that what I’m seeing isn’t what I think it is too?” Jean gloats on the inside and does a great job of keeping it that way. “Wanda practically dragged me in here telling me how much she’s missed me.” Wanda doesn’t give Jean the chance to further spew lies from her mouth. “She’s lying! I would never touch her again, not after I’ve been with you.” Wanda swallows the lump in her throat and lets the tears fall from her eyes willingly. 
“Why are you listening to her anyway she’s a liar!” 
“Well, I guess that’s something you two have in common but as far as I can tell she hasn’t lied to me about you once!” Stepping closer to Wanda she only counters and steps back being on edge from the uncertainty of her relationship and your overall verdict of fixing things. This time Wanda was telling the truth, but the consequences of her actions no longer gave her credibility to be honored with your trust. “You lied. You kept things from me. You manipulated my Kate. You blackmailed Daisy and now you cheat on me?” each time you spoke you poked your finger right into Wanda’s chest. Much like before this was a stab to the heart literally as you poked her, she felt the damage being done to her heart that was only beating for you. 
 “I’m done.” The words gut Wanda leaving her utterly speechless. You turn your attention to Jean not noticing the fact that she got comfortable, sitting on Scott’s bed and not even bothering to put her clothes back on. “You can have her; she isn’t worth the headache.” Wanda was quick to grab your arm, holding on for dear life to keep you from walking out of that door. All of her past mistakes were coming back to bite her in the ass tonight, maybe this was the karma everyone spoke of that would come back to reign down on Wanda for all of her past crimes. 
“Baby, listen to me I didn’t-“ you use everything you have inside of you to shove her away from you. You didn’t want to hear her excuses there was nothing she could do to excuse this. Being caught with her old fuck Buddy. Wanda tries to quickly recover from the shove the moment she sees you fleeing from the room and storming down the stairs. She scrambled to her feet and trips hitting her knee on Scott’s wooden dresser which ultimately slows her down even more. 
“Fuck!” She clutches her knee in agony for a second and turns her focus back on catching up with you.
“Wait!” Jean finally steps up from the bed, now that Wanda was dumped, she could finally realize that she was meant to be with Jean. Those thoughts quickly fade away the moment Wanda pushes Jean away from her. This conversation was long overdue. “What the fuck is your problem, Jean?” Wanda’s sadness was quickly replaced with rage, she manhandles Jean with ease now that she doesn’t have to remain quiet like she did in the tiny closet space. she presses Jean against the wall, her breathing unsteady and her eyes no longer had the sparkling shade of green. 
 “What’s my problem? My problem is that you’re treating me like I meant nothing to you!” Jean’s been calm and cool during this whole situation but now was the time she finally got to release all of her pinned up anger and resentment towards Wanda.
“That’s because you didn’t!” 
“That’s not what you said! You told me I was special.” Seeing the genuine sadness in her eyes Wanda decides to just give it a Jean straight no longer avoiding the topic or sugar-coating things. “No, I told you that you were my favorite….at the time you were my favorite whore to fuck!” 
“That’s it! I didn’t want anything more from you then and I don’t want anything from you now.” Wanda yells as loud as she can, not caring if anyone walked in or if anyone heard her, she needed to get this through Jean’s head that she no longer wanted her. she no longer wanted anything to do with her, because she had you. Wanda ends the conversation with her hand slapping against the wall near Jean’s face.
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Natasha stands at the beer pong table watching a match, but her eyes can’t help but catch your gaze as you rush down the stairs with watery eyes. What the fuck did Wanda do this time? she meets you just before you can storm off on your own. She softly grips your hand to gain your attention. “Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“Seems like you don’t know your friend as well as you thought you did.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about me catching her upstairs with Jean!” What? That couldn’t be. especially after Natasha saw how sad and regretful Wanda has been the past few days. It’s been hell coming back to the apartment to watch her friend as an empty shell. “No, no way she’s not into Jean that way, trust me she only wants you.”
“I caught her with her pants down Nat, you can fuck off right along with her.” You bump past Natasha causing her to spill some of her beer. “What the fuck Wanda” she whispers to herself as she sits the cups down and races up the stairs to the bedroom. Natasha enters the room just in time to see the position that Wanda had Jean in. she was pressed against the wall with an enraged Wanda yelling in her face, Wanda wasn’t known to have violent outbursts to other people the most she would do was be a mean bitch but to the people that truly knew her. they knew things get ugly ids she was truly at rock bottom and tonight was one of those nights. Natasha quickly moves to separate the two of them pulling Wanda away and making sure she’s standing right next to her side. 
“I stick my neck out for you to fix things with y/n and this is what you do? 
“No! that’s not what happened!” Wanda yells and cradles her head, too much was going on all at once and her head was starting to feel heavy. She was getting frustrated with everyone not believing in her. Not believing that she could be faithful and in a loving in committed relationship. Her only fault was that she wasn’t honest and that she started the relationship off with lies and manipulation.
“What the fuck happened then?” 
 “She’s what happened she tried to kiss me and when I tried throwing her out y/n was already outside, so I hid in the closet with her, and she was still trying and then-” Natasha cuts Wanda off when she realizes what actually went down in here. Jean tried to take advantage of Wanda. “Calm down, Wands.” 
 “How the hell am I supposed to do that when my girlfriend thinks I just cheated on her?” 
“Go after her she probably isn’t gone too far, I’ll handle her.” Natasha turns her head around to an unbothered Jean slowly gathering her abandoned clothing items. “Nat, what are you gonna-” Natasha cuts Wanda’s wandering mind short she needed to focus on finding you. “Don’t worry about that go find y/n.” Wanda finally fixes her clothes and rushes out of the room. Once Wanda left Natasha keeps her eyes on Jean, never leaving her figure for a split second. 
“I think me, and you need to have a chat.”  Natasha inches closer to Jean. “Look Natasha, you’re cool but you’re not my type, so if you’ll excuse me.” Jean fixes the rest of her clothing and heads for the door. Natasha sidesteps blocking jean from leaving the room. “Please don’t flatter yourself, you’re definitely not my type.” 
“I’m everyone’s type.” 
 “I wouldn’t touch you if I was on my last dying breath and you were the only way for me to live. I’m not amused or attracted to bitter whores who don’t know their worth, and I’m definitely not attracted to someone who has to take advantage of someone to feel needed.” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” 
“No? you don’t know what I’m talking about? did you or did you not try something with Wanda knowing she didn’t want to? knowing she told you to stop?” 
“You do know that’s harassment and basically assault right? and you could be expelled and arrested.” Natasha takes Jean’s silence after calling her out for what she did. “Now here is what’s going to happen.”
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It took you only a few moments to search for Yelena in the sea of people. After you came up empty handed settling for texting her on your way back to the dorms. You no longer wanted to be in this environment you just wanted to crawl in your bed and cry into the bed sheets. 
Everything she’s said to you and everything she’s done was all worthless and meaningless to her. The irony of ending up in the same situation as the last time you and Wanda were “getting to know each other” but this obviously stomps on your heart 10 times more. The fact that she couldn’t deal with the consequences of her actions and ran right back with Jean, even after she’s told you time and time again that what she and Jean had was nothing compared to her first official relationship with you. now it makes you wonder if the whole relationship was a lie. 
If she had other people lie on her behalf just so she could get what she wanted, because after all Wanda Maximoff always got what she wanted in the end of things. not spotting Yelena you leave all together opting to walk back home instead of calling an uber. you don’t get too far before a vehicle pulls up beside you slowly driving in tune with your footsteps. tonight, was not the night to be hit on and cat called you stick to avoiding the mysterious person on the motorcycle and keep your eyes forward. until the sound of the familiar voice brings you out of your mind. 
“Y/n, you know you shouldn’t be walking by yourself this time of night.” 
“You want to talk about it?” of course Daisy noticed the tear stains and your puffy red eyes. The only conclusion was Wanda. Everyone saw what happened at the drive in and if you weren’t there you saw it on social media there was no escaping the gossip about your relationship origin. you stop walking, release a heavy sigh and finally give Daisy your full attention. Daisy follows suit by turning her motorcycle off and kicks the stand to hold it up in place. 
“If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine but at least let me, give you a ride.” she dips her head down for the eye, contact she was looking for. “Should you even be talking to me? you know since you agreed to stay away from me and avoid me?” You couldn’t really be mad at Daisy for staying away from you when her safety was at risk, but it still hurt that she didn’t at least think to inform you of what type of person Wanda truly is, you would’ve stopped all contact with her immediately if she told you. 
“I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you what was going on but-” you hold your hand up not wanting Daisy to feel bad for putting herself first. “It’s fine, I understand.”
“I’ve missed you.” Daisy nibbles on her lip and inches closer to you. she didn’t have many friends due to her being closed off and guarded but with you everything happened naturally. The two of you clicked instantly. “Like a lot.” 
“I missed you too.” The familiar atmosphere brings a small smile to your face, one that Daisy takes pride in seeing and being the cause of it. 
“So, can I hug you now? You know since I don’t have to stay away from you because I’m of your possessive girlfriend?” Only daisy could get away with making fun of your failed relationship so soon. You step closer to her in bring her into your warm embrace. You meant what you said about missing her and you’re certain Daisy meant what she said as well. Daisy wasn’t a perfect person and she never claimed to be a perfect person, but you can bet she’d never lie to you. She’d never cheat on you. She’d never have you looking stupid or even think about manipulating your friend for her own gain. The hug no longer felt like a simple hug amongst friends, but truth be told you and Daisy were never under the category of just friends but neither under the category of being something more.
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Wanda races out of the room and down the stairs limping in pain searching for you. Hoping that you’re still in the crowd of people somehow. She asks around for you and no one has actually seen you in while until she gets to her brother. “Pietro have you seen y/n? Did she leave with someone? Yelena is still here, and I really need to talk to her.” 
“She uh ran out the door a few minutes ago I guess she’s heading back to her dorm.” That was the only answer Wanda needed to hear before she was back on the hunt for you. Pietro of course couldn’t let this slide he needed to know what was going on and the fact that his sister looked like she’s been through hell tonight. “Did you do something?” Wanda unamused laugh at his question. “Not now Piet, I have to find y/n” he reluctantly steps aside and let’s Wanda storm out of the door in search for you. You walked a couple of blocks not too far from the frat house, but the moment Wanda laid her eyes on you everything you saw in that room came back in flashes making you see red all over again. 
The slight bit of hope she had in her eyes to redeem herself would be gone the moment you pulled Daisy in for a firm kiss. you put your all into it, to hurt her how she’s hurt you. Not only for tonight but also for what happened at the party last year, sure it might be petty but the stinging pain of being second best to Jean hurts even more. Any other time Wanda would’ve stormed over there and yanked you up but tonight she was drained she didn’t have any energy left to fight. She was utterly heartbroken. Wanda’s never felt this kind of pain before. Pulling away from the kiss hurts you a little just from the reaction you see from Wanda. Daisy passes you her helmet not even noticing that Wanda was only a few feet away. 
“C’mon let me take you back to your dorm.” During that whole process Wanda finally pushes herself to make movement. It hurt like hell to watch you kiss someone else especially that someone being Daisy. Wanda finally found the will to speak a kiss she could live with, but she’d be damned if you actually left on the back of Daisy’s bike. 
“Y/n, don’t get on that bike.” 
“Don’t tell me what to do, why don’t you back to your whore.” Wanda furiously shakes her head and clenches her eyes shut. “I didn’t touch her! I swear.” 
 “I don’t fucking care, now let go of me!” 
“No” 
“She said let go Maximoff.” Daisy reveals the small pocketknife she had hidden in her jacket she never went anywhere without it for her own safety. Wanda falls back reluctantly. on any other night she still would’ve pressed Daisy but seeing as she’s not a hundred percent herself tonight she settles for taking the loss and explaining everything to you tomorrow. You put Daisy’s helmet on and swing your leg over the back of her bike. The utter sickness Wanda feels from just seeing you like this was once again heartbreaking. 
The moment Daisy drives off Wanda feels lightheaded, like a piece of her left the moment you left with lout her. The moment you left with Daisy. “Fuck!” She tries and tries to steady her breathing, settling for quick breaths hoping it would stop the racing heart movements and her dizziness. So much was going on with Wanda internally that she was unaware of her surroundings. 
The moment she hears the voice so close to her after the fourth time of calling her name she reacts by flinching away. “Wanda, sweetie what’s wrong?” Monica and Darcy approach Wanda cautiously not wanting to crowd her. Monica notices the signs of a panic attack. “Darcy, go find Nat.” Darcy nods and swiftly jogs back inside the frat house. “Wanda, I need you to look at me, can you tell me what color my bracelet is?” Wanda clenches her eyes and shakes her head, the words were at the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t get them to release. 
“That’s okay let’s try focusing on your breathing, okay? slow deep breaths in and out.” Wanda complies with that it still wasn’t easy, but it was more manageable than actually speaking words after what she just saw a few moments ago. As Wanda takes her time to steady her breathing Monica rubs her hand on Wanda’s back in slow circular motions. 
“What happened, Wanda?” the reminder of what Wanda saw caused a sickness to rise in her stomach. She felt nauseous, enraged, hurt and betrayed all at the same time. Not to mention the shit she went through upstairs in Scott’s room. Wanda jumps up from the ground and rushes to a vacant tree bush, everything consumed tonight was being released from her body. Monica rushes over to hold Wanda’s hair back. Eventually Wanda stops and Monica immediately steps in for things that she needed. Handing Wanda, a small mini bottle of mouth wash from her purse and tissue napkin. Monica was always called the mom friend as a joke, but she actually came through for Wanda tonight and she’d never forget it. 
“Thanks, Mon.” Wanda shows her gratitude after rinsing her mouth out and drying it with the napkin. Monica can tell Wanda’s not in the mood to talk about what has her upset so she simply offers her comfort by rubbing her back until Darcy and Natasha finally approach them. As Natasha helps to the car, she has no other plan on how to fix things for her friend. How can she come back from this after already showing a pattern of being a liar and the fact that you were questioning Natasha’s involvement with this as well. Things were just going to have to play out on their own.
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The ride didn’t take long, Daisy offered to stop anywhere you wanted, to get ice cream or something to cheer you up but you declined you just wanted to curl up into bed and sleep the hurt and pain away. Daisy turns her bike off and waits for you to hop off the back seat. stand beside her taking the helmet off thanking her for the ride. “Anytime.”
“I’ll see you around.” you nod turning on your heels to walk to your building door. only stopping when Daisy yells and meets you at your door. 
“Wait, I um wanted to know if.” you wait for her to finish the words that she was so nervous to say. you pick up on the vibe and you remember the kiss. the kiss that you only planted on Daisy because of what you saw in the closet at the party. Daisy takes your silence as an open window to continue to lean. she wants to feel your lips on hers again. you indulge in the kiss for a second before you turn your head and lightly push daisy away. 
The kiss didn’t feel right, now that you were actually trying to kiss her without the presence of Wanda you couldn’t do it. you were so familiar with Wanda’s touched, so consumed by her that she ruined you for anyone else to have. she can instantly take the hint you put out. she sighs and leans away some more. “We missed our window, didn’t we?” 
“I’m sorry for bringing you into this I just wanted her to hurt.” 
“Don’t apologize, you can use me whenever you feel like hurting anyone, well if kissing you is the outcome.” she wiggles her eyebrows playfully and pulls you into a tight hug. “This doesn’t change anything you’re still my friend and I’ll help you with anything you need.”
“Thank you, Daze” you release her for the hug and kiss her cheek. she smiles in return and walks away before you grab her attention at the last minute. “Actually, can I cash in that favor right now? I need you to do something for me.”
---------------
Dispite the little show you paraded in her face Wanda was still determined to let you know the truth, her phone remained in her hand the whole ride home sending you text messages, voice messages, calls, voicemails she even sent you an email. 
every last one of her advances went ignored and unheard by you. Her feet move as fast she can allow them to racing to the door hoping and praying that it was you on the other side but when she opens the door, the sight she’s met with breaks her down after she’s spent the last week telling herself that everything would be alright, that she would somehow gain your trust back and that you would forgive her. 
Instead, she’s met with a box of all the stuffed animals she won for you on your date. Small things she’s bought for you in passing or just because. pieces of her clothing that she told you to keep. She picks the box up with shaky and weakened hands. she pulls her phone out beginning to press your contact dialing your number. nothing goes through straight to voicemail. The text messages go green. You’ve blocked her. 
She harshly wipes her tears before she makes it to your social media page just to get the same thing. She was blocked. you blocked her on everything. you weren’t hearing her out. you weren’t giving her another chance. Wanda thinks you’re cruel. just as cruel as you called her. she throws her phone at the wall no doubt shattering her screen and cracking the wall all together. 
She closes the door and falls to her knees with the box going through each piece one at a time. She knows she should stop; it's only going to add on to her pain, but she can’t because now this was all she had left of you. all she had left of the relationship. she replays each memory as she touches the item laughing through her tears for a moment. feeling every emotion she’s felt with you, new ones she didn’t fake it she didn’t lie about how she felt, she just went about it the wrong way. 
This was proof that it was is real. she’s never had to work for someone so hard before and you just walk away from her just like that? After one mistake? Afterall, she did it all just to be with you; it wasn't as if she was using Kate to one and done you. she wanted you. She wanted a relationship with you. That was real. Any girl on campus would’ve leaped at the chance and wouldn’t have questioned it. they would’ve immediately accepted Wanda’s apology but that was the thing though, wasn’t it? You weren’t like any girl on campus, you weren’t like any girl she’s ever been with. she’s conflicted. She understands the hurt and pain you’re feeling right now but she was also selfish. She wanted you to suck it up and just let her prove herself again. for the last and final time, she’d never mess up with you again not liking this pain.
“Wanda? What’s wrong?” Natasha consoles Wanda on the floor of the living room. rocking her back and forth and rubbing soothing circles on her back. Natasha takes a look around the apartment for any clue that made her this sad and broken. She's been hopeful all week, but she hasn’t blown up like this ever. It's when she finally spots the box on the other side of the coffee table that she realizes what most likely happened. 
“I got you wands, let it out.” she has to hold her tighter when she releases the violent sobs into the fabric of her shirt. Natasha held Wanda all night until she cried herself to sleep and the next morning when Natasha woke up, she woke up to something unexpected. she woke up to silence and an empty apartment. Wanda was gone.
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PROPAGANDA
KATHERINA MINOLA (THE TAMING OF THE SHREW) (CW: Domestic Abuse)
1.) We had to read this for English my senior year. I got so mad at the way she’s treated. She’s the titular “shrew” of the play. She has to be married off before her younger sister can get married, because that makes sense.
Then the most dogshit man imaginable comes along, and everybody thinks they’re perfect. He literally gaslights her and denies her food and water.
Fuck Petruchio and Katherine Minola deserved better!
2.) Literally the whole play is about how she is so awful that the main guy needs to change her entire personality, which he does as a challenge not because he likes her, and then proceeds to her abuse her for the rest of the play. Yet, he is portrayed as the hero, not a villain and she is shown to have “improved” at the end. People will say, oh it’s open to interpretation, it can be played different ways, it’s satire, but i don’t find abuse funny and there is a distinct lack of commentary in the play to count as satire imo. Taming of the Shrew is a tragedy not a comedy, I will die on this hill. Kate deserves better!
3.) The title isn’t joking, ya’ll. She literally gets broken like a rebellious feral animal and it’s treated as a happy ending.
CORDELIA CHASE (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/ANGEL THE SERIES) (CW: Pregnancy)
1.) (downs an entire bottle of vodka and slams it back on the table) SO. CORDY. Cordy started off as a supporting character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the start she was your typical high school mean girl character, but as the show went on we got to see more depth to her character: her insecurities, her courage, her capacity for incredible acts of kindness. Then after the third season she moved into the show’s spin off, Angel, where from the beginning she was basically the show’s secondary protagonist. Her and Angel were the two mainstays of the show’s main cast, she gets the most episodes centered on her out of all the characters aside from Angel (and yes, I’ve checked), and we really got to see her grow from a very shallow and self-centered and kind of mean person to a true hero who was prepared to give up any chance at a normal life to fight the good fight while still never losing the basic core of her character. There were some… questionable moments like the episode where she gets mystically pregnant with demon babies and things got a bit iffy like halfway through season 3 where the writers seemed to run out of ideas for what to do with her outside of sticking her in this romance drama/love triangle situation with the main character but overall, pretty good stuff right? THEN SEASON 4 HAPPENED. In season 4 she gets stripped of literally all agency and spends pretty much the entire season possessed by an evil higher power, and while possessed she sleeps with Angel’s teenage son (who BY THE WAY she had helped raise as a baby before he got speed-grown-up into a teenager it was a whole thing don’t worry about it) and gets pregnant with like. the physical manifestation of the higher power that’s possessing her. it’s about as bad and stupid as it sounds and also is like the third time cordy’s got mystically pregnant in this show and like the fourth mystical pregnancy storyline overall (you will be hearing more on that note in other submissions I’m so sorry). after giving birth she goes into a coma, in which she remains for the rest of season 4 and the first half of season 5. SPEAKING OF WHICH DON’T THINK SEASON 5 IS GETTING OFF SCOT FREE HERE. yeah so in season 5 the show just FULLY starts trying to erase cordy’s existence. she gets mentioned ONCE in the first episode and then never again until halfway through the season where she wakes up, helps out Angel for a bit and encourages him in his fight against evil, and then goes quietly into that good night and dies so it can be all sad and tragic. I’d call it the worst fridging of all time but even THAT feels generous because the whole point of fridging is killing off a female character so a man can be sad, and after Cordy dies basically no one’s even sad about it because the show immediately goes back to pretending she never existed. she is not mentioned ONCE in the two episodes after she dies. in the whole stretch of time between her death and the end of the season she gets mentioned exactly four times. again, I counted. anyway the fun twist to all of this is that all of this happened because the actress who played cordy got pregnant before season 4 and joss whedon was so pissed off about this affecting his plans for the show that he decided to completely fuck over her character and then fire her and write her out of the show. so cordy’s a victim of both writing AND real life misogyny!! good times!!
2.) OH SO MANY THINGS they menaced by giving her terrible hair cuts, making her seem like she’d get together with the guy she loves (and who loves her back) but instead she was killed and when she was brought back, she got possessed by an evil entity who used her body to give birth to itself. afterwards she was in a long coma and died. her character was so throughoutly assassinated
3.) She got demonically pregnant TWICE - there was this real sense of a womb/ability to get pregnant as like, a place for evil to get in. She got positioned as femme fatale and evil mother. The actress basically got fired for being pregnant, and when she agreed to come back for a single final episode she specifically said they could do anything but kill off the character. Guess what happened
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kitmoas · 1 year
Text
Now, then, and Forever/
Summary: Sometimes you have to dig through the ashes
Word Count: about 10k
Warnings: ANGST (vague/brief mentions of Sexual Assault, Death, Suicide, and Self Harm), Fighting and Avenger work, and then verbal fights
*As always, let me know if I missed anything important*
A/N: This is the first part of the TGU6: Season 1 Finale! As you guys voted for, the finale is separated into two halves. Part 2 will be posted tomorrow around the same time!! ALSO there might be so many mistakes and I suck so I do be sorry my loves
***MINORS DNI*** PAY ATTENTION TO TAGS and hit the KEEP READING if you are 18+ and Open to Reading*** ***18+ ONLY***
Training Grounds Master List
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“It isn’t something I’m used to, you know?” The sun shines brightly against the shiny skyscrapers all around the two, rays hitting cars’ mirrors far below them as they take a snack break in between civilian tasks. 
The boy nods, a barely there sigh as he waits for what comes next. He knows every line, and knows the troubles. It wasn’t something that made him happy, and sometimes he wishes that his best friend never met her girlfriend. He hates the thought, the two were basically perfect together but with the beloved princess came two people that he believed would be the archer’s downfall one way or another. 
“I love her…but I know I’m going to lose her one day. I’m not the person that people keep around and I get that, I’m tainted and not good.” Even though the brunette has said these words hundreds of times, it still gets stuck in her throat. 
Peter sighs, trying to gather the strength to not get angry. He’s not mad at anyone in particular, he hates being angry, but the frustration he feels by this entire situation is getting to be too much. The young boy doesn’t know too much about relationships, only really being with MJ, but he does know that the four of them need to figure out what is going on before it destroys them all. “Kate..you know I don’t believe that and neither does she.” 
The young brunette shakes her head, pulling her legs up so they no longer dangle over the edge. Wrapping her arms around her knees, leaning her forehead against her arms, making her look even younger than she is. 
Peter raises his hand, hesitant and hanging in the air near his best friend’s shoulder before he lets it fall back to his side. He can’t push too much, knowing the girl would immediately retract into herself and hide all of her emotions. 
“I’ve done everything, anything I could. I just wanted them to love me. I want them to look at me like the books, you know? I get it’s not up to them, it isn’t their job but sometimes I just want to be good enough just..being me.” The way she speaks is frantic, fast and almost out of it. It’s almost as if she’s not even there, just a mindless rattling of her thoughts. 
“I don’t want to say it again, but at this point I’m going to. It feels like that saying, don’t meet your heroes and that sucks but Kate you are not being treated correctly by them. Your girl shouldn’t be letting them treat you this way either, and no matter how amazing she is that doesn’t give her a pass to let others treat you like shit.” The young man isn’t sure why he decided to signal you out, but he did. Trying to shrug off the guilt, he stays head strong in his statement. 
“Clint turned out fine.” Kate’s voice is small, an attempt at her know-it-all mask. It’s a pitiful effort, they both know that but neither point it out. 
Closing his eyes, the grip on his soda tightens just a little and cracks the glass slightly before he takes a deep calming breath. “Well.. maybe that’s because you didn’t start dating his wife?” 
Kate’s head snaps up, wide eyes as she shakes her head adamantly. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Wanda and Natasha gave her permission to go out and be single while they were gone. It isn’t my fault really that they wanted to keep me around after. I didn’t…I-” Her voice dies out as she starts shaking, her head falling back to lean against her knees as she tries to reign in the beginnings of a panic attack. 
The boy sighs, trying to back track immediately. He didn’t want to make her panic or freak out, just point out a basic difference between the two. “Just because you didn’t mean for it to happen, and just because they kept you around, doesn’t mean that you get to be treated like this or that they expected everything to end up like this. Maybe something else happened and now they aren’t sure where the dynamic is?” Slowly speaking, trying to bring focus back to the normal way these conversations go, Peter lets himself watch a few kids play below them on the sidewalk as he waits for a response. 
Kate lifts her head slowly, a confused expression painted across her face as she turns to look at the boy. Her mouth falls open a few times, eyebrows furrowing as she tries to collect her thoughts. A noise of skepticism tumbles from her lips, making her flinch at herself and how pathetic she sounded. 
“You’re telling me that you haven’t noticed anything different? Things haven’t evolved in the year or so that you became part of this dynamic? Even if that evolution isn’t something that you want, it needs to be dealt with before it drags you all down.” He turns to her now, a gentle look on his face as he finally notices she’s calmed down and seemingly back to her fix-it mentality. 
Ocean eyes squint, a teasing look soaring across her face when a mischievous smirk pulls at her lips. “When did you become so smart? You’re a child.” 
He rolls his eyes, running his hand through his messy curls. “Being with MJ has pushed me to learn about things and how to read her emotions.” Trying to push off the real foundation he found, a mentor who has been helping him be a better man for his girlfriend. 
The archer sees right through it, snorting as she mocks her best friend. “You’ve been hanging out with Scott and Hope haven’t you?”
He’s laughing, nodding as he shoves Kate away from him. The two taunt and joke with each for a while, giggling and gossiping like normal teenagers as they watch birds and planes fly by. 
Ringing interrupts the moment, the two of them laughing even harder when the jarring noise almost makes Peter fall off the ledge. 
“If you two are done doing whatever it is that you happen to be doing, I have a mission for you.” The static filled Stark voice almost echoes at the height the two are, bouncing off the glass and muffling against the brick. 
Struggling to contain the giggles, the young boy straightens even though his mentor cannot see him. “Yes Mr. Stark sir, we are ready.” 
Scoffing, the billionaire’s sarcastic smirk can almost be heard as he attempts to hum professionally. “Good, don’t disappoint. The information has been sent to both of your HUDs. I’ll see you both soon.” 
The two of them chug back their drinks, smiles bright as they stand and quickly stretch their legs. Peter’s mask materializes around his head, eyes blinking as he readjusts to the ability to focus. He looks around as Kate’s new suit bleeds out from the shooting glove on her left hand, a mix of nanotech and Uru. The two still can’t believe the suit that was gifted to the CEO, something that must have taken not only a trip into space but months to build. Purple and black in color, shiny as it glows from the magic within its molecules, the suit practically melts against her skin before dark purple glasses slip around her head. 
Kate’s eyes blink frantically, working to quickly adjust to the blinking information that shows up about everything around her; a smirk spreads along her face before she jumps off the ledge. “Race you there!” 
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“Do you think it was a mistake?” The sentence made you freeze, alcohol blurring your vision and sugar rushing your veins. It wasn’t sudden, you knew that your brother and best friend had been walking on eggshells to not bring up the situation that you’re in but you weren’t ready for such a blunt question. A toe dipping into the endless abyss of water, just a touch to see the temperature, was expected even welcomed because you knew you needed to talk about it. You should have known better. You never seemed to get what you thought you needed—no, instead you were handed what the world believed you would benefit from. 
Unsure of where to even begin to answer, you slowly look away from the screen to where the other two sit huddled together. Taking a deep breath you try to settle the sinking feeling in your stomach, the sting of bile crawling its way up your throat at the thought of them asking if one of the three people you love were a blunder. “A mistake?” Your voice is shaky, cracking embarrassingly, bringing a vexed maroon across your face. Something you always hated about yourself was your inability to hide your emotions, your mask only lasting long enough for you to flee judgemental eyes before crumbling into pieces at your feet. 
With each movement, awkward and robotic, crinkling of candy wrappers and snaps of pretzel sticks fill the room. No one really knows where to go with the conversation now, the threat of a full blown fight just a few wrong words away. 
It’s the blonde who gains the courage to speak up first, hesitant with each word nonetheless. “It…we are not saying that you need to end but you do not think this is getting out of control?” 
You are instantly defensive, not wanting to admit to the state of your dynamic. It wasn’t something you were proud of, hiding in the good moments to distract yourself from the bad. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“Oh now, we all know that is a lie. Do not lie to your best friend.” Yelena settles back into the couch, crossing her arms as she mockingly pouts up at you. She is no longer scared of your outburst, knowing that it’s just a way for you to redirect your own frustration. 
It surprises you when Carson’s voice rings out, strong and confident. Your younger brother is rarely open to confrontation, and it makes the situation you’re in even more serious to you if he is even ready to speak up about it. “Everyone sees it now, even mom and dad are questioning things. You lasted how many years without them even second guessing where you were going, and all that is going to crumble in a couple months.” 
“He isn’t our fucking dad!” Your voice cracks, anger clawing its way up your throat. Glaring at the floor in front of the coffee table, you try to sort through your thoughts quickly but you can’t even decide who you’re actually mad at. 
Carson nods, setting the control on the couch next to him as he sighs. He had thought you would be passively defensive, not outwardly offensive with him but he was wrong. The young boy should have known as soon as he brought up your step-father that things wouldn’t be as smooth for him as they were for the widow next to him. 
Yelena just raises her eyebrow, rolling her eyes as she watches you seethe. “Do not take it out on him, you know that your anger is not at us so take a moment to breathe.” She’s talking almost as if she would to a child, but for some reason it doesn’t make you angry. 
“I don’t know anymore. Okay? Is that what you guys want to hear? I don’t fucking know anymore. Everything is falling apart and everyone is so angry all the time. My life is crumbling, every single thing I thought I knew is breaking. Everything is so tense and I don’t know how to deal with it! I didn’t sign up to keep the entire world together! Okay? I didn’t want this! I am not the one in charge! I signed up to be able to give and do, and become a person that eases the tension in a relationship by just existing as I am. I didn’t sign up to be a smart issue fixer. I sound like a fucking idiot, I can’t fix anything! I couldn’t even save dad, how does anyone expect me to save them? How does anyone expect me to fix things? 
The two watch as you stand up, screaming into the room. It doesn’t scare them but the louder you get the more that your younger brother flinches. The blonde agent just sits there, legs crossed as she watches you break down. No matter how much either of them want to reach out to you, Yelena knows better. The moment you realize that you are still in a room with people you’ll dart, flight kicking in as the fight in you sizzles out. 
She knows you need this, a moment to feel the pain that you have been bottling up for months now. Everything in your body and mind mixes, memories being dragged into your current world to try and make sense of something that you feel like you lost control of. As much as it pains both of them to sit there and do nothing while you crumble in front of them, they know it’s the best thing for you. 
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“The world won’t understand who you are and what you want, but that isn’t something that should cause you to fight this.” The airy, echoey voice grates along the inside of the brunette’s head. Annoyance sinking into her body the moment the conversation diverts to the topic she had been avoiding. She didn’t want to hear another lecture about the future, instead she wanted to be trained like they had agreed upon. 
Wanda sighs, frustration seeping out of her body. She wants to reach out and strangle them but she knows that it would be futile. They aren’t there saying these things out of spite or ill intent, but as knowledge. “What if I want to fight it? What if this isn’t what I want?” 
It’s like they loved to mock the Avenger, snickering at her as she explained her feelings before shooting down every single thing she wanted. “You don’t really get to decide that Wanda, this isn’t something you can just get rid of. It’s your destiny.” The wide smile on their face boils the witch’s blood, wanting to simply speak it out of existence. 
“This doesn’t fit into my plans.” The witch could feel the steel stubborn bricks building in her stomach, something that her parents used to say she had when she was younger. It was always an issue of hers, anytime she wanted something and didn’t feel like she should budge she dug her feet in and built steel bricks. 
Wanda watches as they roll their eyes, taunting her as they lazily inspect their nails. “Losing Pietro and your parents didn’t fit into the plan. Losing your home didn’t fit into the plan. Being taken to this country and forced to fight for a side you never believed in that didn’t fit in the plan.” If the Sokovian could, she would strangle the arrogance out of them; absolutely fuming at the mention of everything she has lost in her life. “This..this fits into the plan more than you could ever believe and you need to trust the prophecy.” 
A sarcastic scoff tears through the brunette’s teeth before she can stop it, eyes twitching as she works to keep the connection between the two of them through her annoyance. Regardless of how much she despised what she was being told, she knew that she needed to hear it. Preparation was needed, and this was the way she would find it. “Until I once again lose everything that I love because of a foolish prophecy. I have finally built a life that I’m happy with, am surrounded by people who love me for who I am. Is that not the real plan? Is that not what I wanted forever?” 
The feeling of a cold finger tilting her head up makes Wanda’s skin crawl, the urge to break the digit off is strong but she resists. A feigned sympathetic look spreads across their face as they coo at the witch. It’s almost believable, but the younger brunette is smarter. She knows they don’t actually care about her, using her to make sure they are safe and able to mold her as needed. This is a strategic survival plan, but she has no other option than to play into it.  “Think bigger sweetheart, love is an Earthly thing. You were destined for more than just this planet.”
Wanda sighs, her face scrunching when she feels her magic surge; begging to break free.  “Maybe it’s you that was destined for more. I want to spend the rest of my time doing exactly what I’ve been doing. Nothing less and nothing more.” 
“If only you could have control over that, but no one can stop this–not even you.” The witch opens her mouth to counteract, complain that if she’s so powerful then why can’t she do something. “No, there’s things out there that even we cannot control and that’s something that we both need to learn to accept.” Their hand reaches up, petting her brunette hair completely disregarding the tense muscles. It’s entirely too much, almost comedical, as if they were baiting an angry bear. 
Wanda’s eyes snap open, glowing crimson as she loses control. She knows what they meant, a world that would know who she is destined to be will emerge inevitably and she has to be ready to lose it all. It’s knowledge she understands, grasps fully, but it’s something that she will fight until her last dying breath. The world can try to destroy the life she has created, but it will have to demolish her along with it. 
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Watching him pace the floors of his old farm house was always weirdly relaxing to Natasha, knowing that being here meant safety. The two friends tried their hardest to never actually come here unless they knew no one would follow them. “You can’t keep acting like you don’t remember what you were told, it isn’t fair to anyone.” Just like that, it’s less of a safe place for the ginger.  
Pouting the assassin stares up at the archer, trying to guilt him into saying sorry for absolutely nothing. “Stop taking someone else’s side, just because she’s your mentee doesn’t denote the fact that I am supposed to be your best friend.” She sighs when she realizes that it didn’t work, the man immune to even her most basic attempts. 
The tired man rolls his eyes, rubbing at his face as he bends down to pick up some thrown clothes on the ground. “That wasn’t the reason, nor am I taking anyone’s side. I just simply think that this entire situation is getting incredibly out of con–” The rest of his lecture is thankfully cut off as his three children come rushing into the room, the youngest immediately running circles around his name sake. 
The young boy practically becomes a cheetah every time he sees the ginger, excitement making his body vibrate. “Auntie Nat, tell dad that we should get pizza tonight please!” Even as he zooms around his big puppy dog eyes are obvious, and it tugs at the widow’s heart strings knowing she can never say no to him. 
“C’mon Barton, don’t be boring! Give the little gremlins what they want!” The ginger drags the youngest boy back, smiling wide at his screeches. Pulling him to sit in her lap, Nat smiles as she hugs Nate as close as possible. She knows that she needs to come around more as she realizes how much heavier he’s gotten since she last saw him. Pushing away the emotion as the speed of his growth hits her, the Russian focuses on the present. 
The glare shot her way is ignored, subtly flipping off the older man. He stands up straighter, raising his eyebrow as he stares down his best friend. “Just because they’re here doesn’t mean you get out of talking, you know that right?” 
“Are you in trouble Aunt Nat?” Lila’s curious gaze meets the widow’s, and Natasha gulps as she silently curses the young girl’s maturity and sharp social skills. She's too young to be this good at it, but then again so was the widow.
Cooper’s ears perk up at that, the older boy starting to grow into his own and eager for a moment to show off his skills. Even if it is his sister that has picked up the family archery, he has officially started exploring different forms of protection. Taking after another Avenger, the boy has been learning how to fight with shields and weapons made for defense. It's something that his family pokes fun at him for, but he loves it.
The Russian smiles, softening her entire expression as she looks over at the young girl. She needs the conversation to end there, or at least the interest in it from the adolescents in the group. “No sweetie, I’m fine. Your dad just wants to try and get me to talk about things I don’t want to talk about.” 
Clint scoffs, rolling his eyes as he settles into the couch and pulls out a menu. “More like talking to someone about something that you need to talk about.” 
Cooper groans, flopping back onto the recliner. “Dad we aren’t little kids anymore, you can talk about grown up things around us. Well I guess Nate is a baby.” He snickers when he sees the younger boy gasp. 
Darting off of Natasha’s lap, Nate launches himself at his older brother. The two immediately begin to wrestle, tumbling over the back of the chair and rolling around on the wooden floor. Lila rolls her eyes, slipping on her headphones as she tries to ignore the annoyance of the boys. One to always try to act cool around her aunt. 
“Figuring out dinner is difficult Clint, and not everyone can just magically do that.” The ginger crosses her arms, slowly receding into herself as she feels the lecture coming back. 
The old archer chuckles, jotting down notes on what they would be ordering that night, barely paying attention to anything the other is saying. “You act like food is so difficult. It’s not. You look at the options, and you pick the best one. It’s that simple Nat.” He presents his list arrogantly to the woman, wiggling his eyebrow mockingly. 
Huffing, the assassin glares at a scuff on the floor. Refusing to the cocky expression on the other’s face, she denies him another time. “Not when it’s dinner for everyone in the house, not everyone is going to be happy with the same thing everytime.” 
Dropping the notepad down on the side table, Clint leans against his knees as he pushes into Natasha’s personal bubble just slightly. “Stop acting like you’re feeding toddlers, it truly isn’t that hard to feed four adults and make sure they all get at least something that will be good for them. I can easily cook dinner for Laura and our kids, you can cook for your group too.” 
“Why does it fall on us, huh? You and I should get the opportunity to just sit back and wait for dinner to be finished.” Not one to take a challenge lightly, the ginger drops her feet to the ground to level up with Barton. 
Smirking, the archer tilts his head and laughs at the woman. He knows exactly where he trapped her, and he knows that he can use it to his advantage now. “Sometimes you gotta step up Nat.” 
“Step up to what dad? It’s just dinner, stop acting like it’s a mission to cook.” Cooper’s crooked grin as he interrupts the competitive moment makes the Avengers chuckle, a split second of relief in the conversation. 
Standing, and obnoxiously stretching, Clint uses his body to force the ginger to lose balance and fall back into the chair. “Yeah, well your Aunt Nat isn’t really good when she’s the one in charge of dinner. She’s burned the food the past few times, keeps just trying to order food to replace it.” 
Nate's eyes brighten, excitement buzzing through his body as he hears one of his favorite dinner ideas. “Delivery is the best though!” 
Nodding along, the father picks up his phone to prepare to call the pizza shop. Pausing, he leans against the table as he takes the minute to look at four of his favorite people. “It’s amazing and fun, but it doesn’t replace a home cooked meal. Sometimes seeing that effort and love put into something so warm means more than something just bought, or picked out. Dinner, and food in general, is an act of love. It’s a way to show someone you care about them, and some days it’s okay to order something to be delivered. It still shows you care enough to get them food, but that extra effort to take time out of your day to plan and actually cook the food is so much better. The food also almost always tastes better. Love isn’t about the money kids, and neither is food. It’s something that your Aunt Nat needs to learn, and it’s a hard lesson to learn but it’s one that everyone has to go through at some point.” 
As he finally turns away, lifting the phone to his ear and the kids go back to playing, the ginger’s focus drifts out the window. Thoughts of you, Wanda, and lastly Kate bounce about through her mind as she debates her next move. 
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“Are.. you alright kid?” The sympathy in the older man’s voice tugged at your nerves, a tone you know not many hear. 
You take your time to answer, debating if you want to attempt to lie. The urge to brush off your feelings and insecurities is strong, especially when you logically know most of them are false, but you know the soldier next to you would never consciously fib to you. “Maybe everyone’s right.” 
The question is silent, a man of few words as per usual. His head is just barely tilting up towards you, waiting patiently but pushing you in the way he knows you need to. 
Tugging your shirt sleeve down, suddenly hyper aware of everything wrong with you, your stomach flips and gags you slightly. It’s almost like your body is trying to reject opening up, anxiety swarming your nerves and every inch of yourself. “It’s illogical for anything in my life, especially this, to work out. It’s the trend at this point, so why would it change? It doesn’t make sense, and one day I’m going to be forced to choose.” Your voice dies out slowly, your body following as you try to curl up in on yourself. 
Bucky’s rough voice cracks the foundation of the wall you had just begun to build, stopping you in your tracks. “Do those people matter? If you guys make it work then really that’s all that matters?” 
His question makes you think, the first person to not just point out the entire situation going on to you as if you weren’t experiencing it currently. It made you malfunction slightly since you had mentally prepared to defend your life, or maybe to get angry again. Instead you take a breath, letting the one thought that you shove down the most run free for a second. “Maybe, or maybe we’re just being naive. I don’t want to ever be put in a position where I have to choose. I know what my choice would be, at least in theory, but…it would destroy me. I’m not even sure who I would be after that.” 
You watch as he flexes his dark vibranium hand, rubbing at it as if he was cleaning up a smudge. Uncertainty rises in your throat, but he once again lays a heavy hand on your fear. “You’re a fighter, and you have plenty of people that would support you in any way you would need. I would support you in any way you would need.” 
You couldn’t help the small smile that pulls at your lips, the normally stoic man always had a soft side for you. It was something that you found pride in, keeping moments like this close to your heart. The relationship you had with the soldier was something that was incredibly important to you, and you knew that he treasured you.  
The happiness you feel is short lived as you let his statement sink into your mind, letting it get engulfed by the darkness that sits within you. Turning such a beautiful sentiment into another dagger to dig into the wound that you never let heal, only scabbing over for a brief time before you allow it to be ripped back apart by your mind. “I was never meant to make it this far, never meant to save myself. I’ve known that from the beginning. I’ve been playing in overtime, a dangerous game to play.” 
Flashes of nights spent alone, the weight of a loaded pistol in his hand, fill his mind momentarily. Blinking rapidly, the older man tries his hardest to ignore his own memories as his determination to keep you safe overpowers. “You know I disagree with that.” 
Rolling your eyes, you lightly shove him. “Just because you disagree doesn’t mean everyone in the world disagrees.” 
Stuttering, a moment of disbelief filters through the older man’s mind. He spent so many years under the influence of chemicals and other people, but for some reason he was able to make it through. Not necessarily the best mentally, Bucky survived and is now the happiest he has ever been. He wants to help you, wants to ease your tension and fears but how can he help someone whose brain is miraculously even darker than his. 
“Sometimes I feel like the world would end if I didn’t exist, which is really ironic for someone that wanted to die most of their life. I don’t understand living, or joy in the daily world. I never did. Even as a kid I romanticized death and ceasing to exist, it seemed peaceful and ideal. It wasn’t because I thought I couldn’t handle responsibilities or anything, at least that wasn’t why back then, but because I thought that was like my destiny. Ultimately death is everyone’s, in theory eventually, but for me it always felt like I was bound for an early untimely demise ” Chuckling, you can’t help but flourish your words at the idea that played in your head almost daily for most of your life. For you death was only scary when it wasn’t your own, instead you would greet it with open arms for yourself but it simply seemed to never want to welcome you back. 
You never thought it was dark, or sad, just the way your life went. The mindset you had didn’t please most people, and you try your hardest to ignore those thoughts as much as possible but it isn’t always easy. As of lately, with everything going on, the world around you no longer is loud enough to drown out your deepest dark romantic thoughts. Instead it sang its grim melody, luring you back into its grasp. “Keeping everything together, things are falling through the cracks and I don’t have all the information. I can’t be the glue anymore when I can’t even keep myself together.” 
Bucky eyes flicker around, trying to think of how to answer everything that he had just heard. He knows that you don’t want to hear anything about death, your mind has been made up for years now, so instead he focuses on something he may be able to help with. “Are you the glue because your dynamic falls solely on you and your involvement or because whatever is happening right now is forcing you to believe that you’re the only thing keeping everyone involved in the relationship?” 
Your mouth opens and closes, jaw tense as you stew on the words Bucky said. It wasn’t something you ever wanted to think about, a flaw within the dynamic that ultimately fulfilled all your dreams. While you know that most people believe that you saved Wanda and Natasha’s relationship, you don’t like to think that. They would have survived, and thrived on their own, but you do know that you brought a steadiness that they were not used to. Many say that you saved Kate, but in all reality you believe that the two of you saved yourselves to end up together. You didn’t like the idea of being the reason why Kate is thriving, the girl fought her whole life and she deserves the credit for where she is. Pride wells up inside you every time you think about the warrior that she is, and how she truly is a hero. She may never fully believe that, regardless of her god complex, but she is your hero. Everything she ever does is amazing, and leaves you breathless, but you see the anxiety and the hesitation with each movement and decision. 
Unbeknownst to you, the soldier next to you was watching you carefully. Analyzing you as you zoned out, a moment of silence between the two of you allowed him to gather his thoughts. He knew that you had a darker side, a part of you that most ignored for the cute loveable layer. It was a fact, but he wasn’t used to seeing it so much. You had been far less bubbly and adorable as of lately, the weight of everything dragging you down and allowing the gloomy side out.  
The mostly comfortable tranquility was shattered by your best friend slamming open the stairwell door, the two of you flinching as you turned to her. Her face is frantic, breaking all of her training as she looks around. “Grab your suit, kid, we must go now.” She shakes her head, cutting you off effectively when you go to question her. The look she shoots your way is all you needed to see, jumping over the couch. 
Thoughts distraught in your head, you can feel a slight burn along your left rib cage. Rubbing at it you are surprised when your suit starts melting across your skin, realizing that it’s been enchanted. The dark, almost black, suit quickly covers your body and a mask slips over your head. You blink when your vision glows red, purple writing explains everything around you and gives you information on anything that you may need. Looking down at your hands you realize that the mask shows you all the weapons that you have, magically concealed within the belt now around your waist. 
You can feel the power surging through you, and when you hear Wanda’s voice echoing through the mask you feel confident. With the witch’s magic protecting you, and her voices guiding you, there wasn’t anything you felt like you couldn’t conquer. “Let’s do this.” Laying your hand on Yelena’s shoulder, you will yourself to be where you need to be. Disappearing, the two of you leave a static filled smoke cloud behind. 
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The ginger barely blinks when she sees the remnants of scarlet mist floating in her peripheral vision. “You know, whenever you said you would show up wherever I needed you I never thought that you would really start showing up without my asking for it.” 
Wanda settles in the seat next to her girlfriend, sitting sideways so that she can look at her. Letting her legs hang over the armrest, the younger woman rolls her eyes and sarcastically tips an invisible hate towards the widow. “I’m at your service, night and day. Top notch, automatic. We’re all just living in your world, aren’t we?” The smirk pulls at her lips, her eyebrow raises cockily. 
It didn’t take the widow much brain power to pick up on the sarcasm dripping from the witch's lips, a bad habit that only grew after the two collared you. The young Sokoivian was never really a sardonic person, just had a mask of confidence, but your bratty side unlocked a part of her that no one could control. “Destined to rule the world and can’t even admit to it being yours, how humble of you.” 
“Don’t you own them? Isn’t that what you said? Bishop? Your Toy? Aren’t they our world? You say I’m destined to prevail, but we both know you are awaiting the destruction not the regime.” Wanda picks at her nails, an act that the other woman sees through easily. The younger of the two always had a harder time hiding her emotions, a detrimental issue for her powers. 
Natasha chuckles dryly, focusing on the panel of screens as she tries to act unaffected by the other woman’s attempt at baiting her. “Dramatic as usual, if only you left that in the past with the heavy eyeliner and tacky pleats.” 
Twirling one of her rings around her finger, the witch’s eyebrows scrunch mockingly together as she stares at her partner. “Are you sure you were trained to be an assassin, you spend more time critiquing my old fashion choices and pining over millionaires than you do actually going on missions nowadays.” 
Hitting the display board as she finishes inputting the last bit of information, hitting the button for Friday to take over. “Ah the root of all the problems in the world. Me liking someone that isn’t you. Don’t you think it’s a little ironic that you’re so possessive over me when you’re the one that wanted to open the relationship?” Spinning the chair to look at Wanda, the ginger struggles to keep her anger in check as she sees how nonchalantly the woman is talking about everything. 
A taunting laugh falls from her lips, the witch paying no attention to her seething girlfriend as she plays with a small ball of her magic. “Jealousy is a quaint little idea Romanoff, if only such things were of my nature.” Finally raising her gaze to meet the older Avenger’s eyes, Wanda's nose scrunches as she mocks her. 
Rolling her eyes, Natasha scoffs as she plants her feet firmly on the ground between the two of them. Leaning in she reaches up to shove the other girl’s feet to the ground, smirking as she stumbles a bit. “Right, you would never be envious of me. I’m not good enough for that, that’s reserved for cocky archers.” Gripping the witch’s chin, the spy forces her face to level with hers; a feeble attempt at gaining the upper hand. 
Wanda uses the position she’s in to her advantage, letting her mouth fall open just slightly and softening her gaze. She looks up at Natasha through her lashes, a face she knows the older woman can never say no to. “She’s more than that, but if you want to demote her to such a title; let’s talk about that.” Her voice is light, but the bite is evident as she practically whispers. “If she’s just an archer, why would you care so much about fixing your preposterous reaction? Why would a simple athlete’s feelings matter so deeply to you that you would stoop to the level of the Americans that are just so infantile to you for celebrating a fake holiday?” 
The silence is loud, a representation of the ginger’s confidence as it dies out. The witch’s innocent doe eyes hardened and spark up with mischief as she realizes her words were finally cutting deep. Competition was always a strong common ground for the two, even during an argument as both sides push and prod the other to try and outdo them. “Usually you would fill the dead air, Natalia. Most people wouldn’t allow someone to spread such lies about them. Unless they aren’t lies, unless the world was oh so wrong about the heartless Black Widow. Is that it? The idea of your beloved princess and her worthless stray being mad at you gnawing at your black heart strings. The thought tearing at your chest like a black hole. Isn’t it funny that you act so unaffected by everything but really you couldn’t handle the fact that someone put their hands on a moronic mongrel that you couldn’t muster up a single sympathetic word.” 
A defeated sigh falls from the spy’s lips, falling back into the captain’s chair as she lets go of the brunette’s chin. “Are you acting out Maximoff?” 
Wanda, thriving as she watches Natasha retreat, lets her ego get bigger. Sitting up straighter, posture becoming more regal as she arrogantly looks down on the spy; pride in what she believes is finally a win for her after months of back and forth. “Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll stop. Tell me that you aren’t fighting your own mind daily. Wishing you could slit the throats of those men, wishing you could destroy every single childhood memory of the mutt you fell for.” 
“Maybe you’re right, but don’t you think it’s funny that you gave them the reaction they wanted because you didn’t want them to be scared of you. You aren’t soft, and you aren’t loving. You’re cold and calculated. If anyone here is heartless it’s you Maximoff. You are filled with a darkness that even the most evil of men couldn’t fathom, a tenebrosity overwhelming even the blackest of nights.” Even though the words she speaks are harsh, Natasha curls into herself. Backing away from her girlfriend as she tries to reign in anything she might later regret. She knows her training is better than this, but something about Wanda has always made her lose control in every way no matter how good or bad. 
Clenching her jaw, the witch can feel the tension brewing inside her body. Her shoulders rigid as she tries to figure out what is about to happen. She doesn’t want to use her magic, instead relying on the fact that she knows the widow like the back of her hand. It doesn’t fail her often. “At least I had a reaction, fake or not. I didn't need to grovel at the feet of a spoiled rich kid. My dignity is still intact unlike yours.” 
“You can have dignity, all high and mighty but what will you be left with after that? A fake air of confidence and a mask that sinks so deep that even you forget who the real girl underneath it all is? The girl that Pietro left behind completely gone? Did she die with him?” A sad, almost sullen smile pulls at the corners of Natasha’s mouth as she looks up slowly. Her bright forest green eyes almost look wet with unshed tears, something that would fool most people but not Wanda. No matter how much the widow plays, she knows that she’ll never be able to actually trick the brunette into believing any of her tactics. She had to have known that this was the plan all along, a hit below the belt to get her to back off after she had cornered her. It was dirty, and unkind, but at this point in the game nothing was off the table anymore. 
It took a moment for what the assassin said to really sink in, almost lost in the bubbling anger but when it finally hit the world felt cold. Her brother was always left untouched, a memory that she cherished and tended to daily so she would never be without. A thing atop of pedestal where no one could reach, but the Russian had decided to get a ladder and step into a different playing field. “She may have died with him, left in a pile of rubble but at least she was real. Loved and cherished. Where’s the real Natalia? Did you ever know her? Did anyone ever know the real you or did your poor mother sell that off too? What was she worth? Has to be more than whatever we’re left with.” 
Bringing up specific things, like her brother or the ginger’s lineage, wasn’t something that Wanda took pride in. The business the two were forced into brought enough opportunities for low blows and deep cuts to hash open, memories of beloved people weren’t something that needed to be tainted. Only stooping low when others decided to, digging a basement for the rock bottom jabs. 
Deciding that was enough for the time being, Wanda takes the shocked silence as her chance to disappear. Her knowledge of the one person on this Earth that she truly thought she knew inside and out failed her. 
It’s almost entirely silent in the quinjet, even the wind rushing as the ginger flies through the air isn’t heard. The trace of crimson fog lingering in the air as Natasha sits there struggling to breathe, alone once more. 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The world flashed before the two young heroes' eyes, a moment that drew slow for just the duo as they realized that this was no ordinary robbery. Frozen in their spot, an imaginary glue adhering them to the metallic floor, it’s almost like watching television. A deep rooted want to scream out, to heckle the characters on the screen for not moving, but reality slaps them across the face when a terrified scream rings in their ears.
The two young New York natives realize that they are the ones in the show, forcing themselves to move in the heat of the moment. Scattering in hopes to stay vigilante, one step ahead of the masked men who are patrolling the floor. Slipping into a trusty vent, the archer takes a page from her own mentor’s book as she just barely stows away before she’s seen. 
Kate’s eyes search out the young spider, something she would chastise herself for later. How could she lose sight of her partner? It was basically rule number one, always know where your allies were. Slumping against the vent wall, she takes a moment to try and control her nerves. The guys below her were familiar but mind bogglingly overpowered, she wasn’t sure where they got whatever weapons from but it wasn’t something in the information sent by Stark. A fact that she would have to remember to bring up to him. 
Crackling the young spider’s voice finally breaks through her ear piece, and she looks around trying to find where he is. Finally seeing him in a dark corner across the room, hanging on by his webs, the archer is relieved to hear his static filled voice. The two take a minute, breathing a sigh of relief when they realize they are both safe for the moment. 
When an energy beam goes flying by Peter’s face, miraculously not giving away his position, the young boy starts trying to figure out a plan. “We gotta go down before they do anything dangerous, I wonder why Mr. Stark didn’t tell us about whatever glowy stuff they have.” 
“I’m not sure he knew, but this bank looks familiar.” Ignoring how the boy starts pestering her, ocean blue eyes scan the area before it clicks. Her company helped service them, and she wiggles gleefully. Slipping a trick arrowhead from the new pack, she waits patiently for a louder noise before stabbing it into the metal near her. Quickly pulling up her watch, a projection allows her to use the B. Tech arrowhead to take over the entire building’s electrical system.
It only takes a few swipes before the entire building’s power shuts down, everything going deadly quiet before the emergency lights click on. The people below, recovering from shock, finally started to search for who was responsible. 
“Woah did you just do that?” Peter’s eyes are squinting at the archer as he tries to look at what she’s doing from across the bank. 
Kate just giggles, nodding as she swipes through surveillance and vault locks. “My company wired this entire building, I just took this fight back for us. We just gotta be quick.” The CEO rolls her shoulders, closing the blinking projection and motioning out to the spider where she would be going. 
Slipping out of the vent, her legs dangling, the archer scans the area quickly before throwing an arrowhead across the room. A forcefield expanding as the trick arrow bounces, blocking off an entire hallway. Immediately giving away their positions, but the element of surprise and night vision on their side. Though the two don’t fight side by side, back to back, the two keep track of one another at all times. 
It’s almost effortless as Peter webs up three guys approaching Kate’s back, and the archer takes out a man with a blaster aiming for the spider. It’s a rough fight, the young Avengers not quite prepared for a group of people that can handle the type of weapons that they wield.
The two spend more time protecting, acting on the defense rather than offense. They knew that it was going to be a tricky mission when they realized how many civilians were scattered through the group. Understanding that worrying for others safety is causing them to be on the losing end of the fight. 
“Oh spidey boy!!!” The deep voice sings out, mocking the young boy. 
Slipping as she hears the voice, Kate loses balance momentarily causing her to miss her target. Cursing herself, the archer quickly takes the target down at the last second and barely saves a young girl. She isn’t sure where her fellow hero is, but she hasn’t been alerted by the AI that there was an issue so she has to assume that nothing is wrong. 
“Get your head in the game, Kate.” The more she moves the more she berates herself to do more, swinging around to take down different masked men. Her new bow mindlessly switches between sword and bow as quickly as her own reflexes, arrowheads traveling up her arm and Uru spines extend instantaneously as the sharp point touches it’s rest. The fluid motion in which her new suit and equipment works with her body is mesmerizing, a new extension of her own mind.
She almost feels like a hero now, not just in bravery and attitude but look and technology as well. No longer needing to rely just on her own eyesight and guesstimating, the HUD in the glasses framing her face telling her all the information she would ever need. The pack along her torso was the most amazing part of her new set up, instant arrowheads all controlled by her thoughts allowed for a practically flawless display of her skills. 
Every opportunity that she’s had to put this new suit on was something that she could have only dreamed of. Fights have become something almost like a tournament to her, competitive to an even higher max than before as she finally settles into her laser focus. Nothing but her next movements, the next person to protect, on her mind; Kate feels at the top of her game.
A bone chilling scream rings throughout the bank, echoing off the large marble sculptures, making everyone turn to look at the source. There in the center of the room, clutching and clawing at his head, is Peter crumpled in a withering heap. A dissipating green smog floats in the air around his collapsed body, a subtle sizzling sound can be heard through the tense silence. It’s almost like even the masked men weren’t prepared for the reaction they got, frozen in their position. 
Scanning his body, the AI in Kate’s ears is practically screaming and rushing her forward to save the boy whose body is rejecting all functions. She’s moving before she can realize it, the edge of her sword sparking as she slides across the stone floor. Coming to a stop on her knees in front of her best friend’s balled up from, she takes out a few men sprinting towards them without taking her eyes off of the man holding a broken tube. Arrowhead and sword in hand, the young Avenger stands to her feet. 
Her face is painted with anger and vengeance, even though her suit covers most of her expression, and she barely flinches when the second man in charge comes to stand next to his friend. Tossing the trick arrow to the ground, a force field surrounds the four of them and Kate lets her mask down. “I wanted you to see the face of the girl who is about to destroy you.” 
“This is the infamous Hawkeye?” Their laughs bounce against the sizzling electricity, mocking as it echoes in the small makeshift arena. The two men clearly only paid attention to the boy behind the archer, not realizing how much damage that the archer could really do. 
“Is this our movie moment? Where we get on our knees and beg a little girl to spare our lives because you’re just oh so powerful.” The two men aren’t even phased as they cackle, joking as Kate holds two arrowheads between her fingers. 
Fanning them out, she focuses on how she is close enough to see the veins in their necks bulging as they howl. She wants to seethe, rage overtaking her actions, the need to protect her best friend strong but something feels wrong. The men don’t seem to even care that she’s there, holding deadly weapons, and while the young girl is used to people underestimating her this was different. 
Confusion floods her body, almost forcing the confidence that she was feeling out. She doesn’t understand this dreadful cloud that is hanging above her head. This wasn’t the moment to get insecure about her abilities, she had an important job to do which only got more needed when Peter was taken out. 
“At least we know what our Love Bug looks like all grown up.” Kate blinks, once and then again as her gaze lifts to scan the man’s covered face. The breath gets caught in her throat as her mind fights against the protective wall around forbidden memories. 
Everything is happening all too fast, cracks breaking the foundation of her entire heroic facade. She can’t break now, not here; not in front of them. The blood in her body pumps cold, a stark contrast to the vengeful hot temperature it was seconds ago. Kate wants to move, can hear the AI in her ear urging her to move now while the two were distracted but she can’t.  
The second man hits the other on the chest, pointing at the CEO’s body as his disgusting gaze travels downward. “Just as hot as she was back then, honestly I could take another go at her.” 
The sentence was muttered, almost under his breath but it was almost like he screamed it to the archer. Her entire body shakes, and her heart begins racing. She wanted to run, to hide under a blanket and pretend like the world no longer exists. 
It’s almost like her suit takes over for her, the archer’s knees weak and almost collapsing under her. Forcing Kate’s hand to move, readying to throw the arrowheads, but the two men reach up and slip their masks off. Even though she had realized who they were, their voices engraved into even the deepest of her memories, the second she could physically see their eyes and their cocky arrogant smirks everything crashed and burned. It’s almost like she could still feel the rough messy hair atop their heads, muscle memory trying to shove it away forces her to drop her weapons.  
Stepping towards her, even though she’s the same height as them now, they practically loom over her. It’s intimidating as they almost circle towards her, kicking away the fallen sword. Tugging off their gloves, one of them reaches up to cup her flinching face. Calloused thumb rubbing her cheek, so aggressively that it almost leaves a raw red mark, while the other man grabs at her waist. When Kate’s face lowers, sinking in on herself as she attempts to be smaller, the man’s hand leaves her body to tangle his fingers into her hair. 
Yanking her head back, the two chuckle at her pained expression. Almost tugging her head back and forth, inspecting her. For the first time in about eight years the young brunette finally raises her eyes to make direct eye contact with the two men who destroyed her life. Hating herself as she searches for the sparkle of the men she grew up with, a glimmer of the people who father trusted most. Mind racing as she figures out a way to win the game, to make sure that they are proud and happy of her at the end of play time. 
“Did you miss us, Bug?” 
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masterofmunson · 2 years
Text
promises, promises (5)
Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Summary: Your boyfriend, Eddie Munson, accuses you of cheating on him due to your strange behavior. If only you could tell him you were hunting interdimensional monsters instead.
Word Count: 5.8k+
Warnings: SMUTTY SMUT SMUT SMUT (oral m receiving, fingering, praise kink, choking kink (not really, his hand just rests on her throat), gagging, dacryphilia, slight soft!dom!eddie if you squint hard enough), MINORS DNI I MEAN IT, language, mentions of death, violence, think that’s it but if there’s more that I haven’t mentioned, let me know!
Author’s Note: Here she is! Please let me know what you think. I mentioned it earlier, but this story will now be seven parts instead of six. As always, comments/reblogs/asks are very much encouraged and appreciated xoxo
“I was worried you were going to listen to Jason and hurt me, you know,” you confessed to Lucas the next morning.
You spent the night in Nancy’s basement with Steve, Dustin, and Max while Robin slept in Nancy’s bedroom. You watched Max throughout the night, watching her for two-hour increments before it was one of the boys’ turns. You don’t remember if she slept.
While you switched off on Max Watch, you attempted to comb through all the documents from The Watcher that Nancy and Robin gathered from the library yesterday about Victor Creel. You were looking for a needle in a haystack. The amount of questions the four of you gathered was enough to overwhelm you and stop for the rest of night.
Lucas turned to look at you and hurt flashes across his face. Despite the years between you, you had always been close, and like Max, he would come to you for relationship advice. You never took sides when they fought and ran to you. You talked them through their issues and helped them come together, but that was before Billy died.
Max had broken up with Lucas after Starcourt, and it devastated Lucas far more than all the other times they broke up. It felt permanent, lasting, and all you could do was offer a shoulder to lean on since Max wouldn’t return your calls.
“I’m sorry,” Lucas said, glancing down at his toes. “I didn’t think that Jason would actually go on a manhunt for Eddie. I should’ve stopped him. I’m sorry.”
You smile softly at the young teen and gently nudge him with your shoulder. “It’s okay. I’m glad you decided to leave the Dark Side. Eddie will be thrilled.”
Lucas laughed and shook his head. “You sound just like him.”
Silence falls over the basement as your eyes flicker towards the corner Max had been held up in for the last hour. With her headphones on, she writes furiously at the small desk. The soft sound of Kate Bush spills into the basement. The four of you can’t help but stare at her backside. The thought that Max may be gone sometime today terrifies you.
The door to the basement opens and Nancy and Robin hurry down the stairs with a series of files in hand. Nancy takes the seat beside you and hands you a red folder. Opening it, a sheet of paper spills out with your name on it with a handful of extra-curricular activities and honors you did in high school with a few embellishments.
“What’s this?” you asked, holding up the folder in front of the group before passing it on to the kids to look at.
“Our way to get in to see Victor Creel. We have an interview with the director, and hopefully we can persuade him to let us speak to Victor,” Nancy said. “Did you find anything useful in the articles?”
You shook your head and Nancy noticeably deflates. There was nothing you could do until you actually spoke to Victor. You hope he could provide the answers you needed to help Max and stop Vecna from hurting anyone else. Steve bickers with Nancy and Robin as they climb up the basement stairs to the main floor.
“Can I talk to you?” Max murmured, shifting awkwardly on her toes.
You nod and stand up from your spot on the couch. Opening the basement door, you step outside and Max follows behind, walking towards a corner of the house so Dustin and Lucas couldn’t see. Max sighs and thrusts out her hand, an envelope between her fingers.
“What’s this?” you asked, taking it from her and flipping it so the flap of the envelope faces you.
“It’s a failsafe if you know…  if you know things don’t work out for me.”
“Max—”
“It’s just in case, okay? Please take it. Don’t read it until… until after.”
You sigh and nod begrudgingly, sliding the envelope into the pocket of your windbreaker. Your heart aches for the redhead. You’ll figure something out. You know you will. No one else was going to die at the hands of Vecna if you could help it. Max closes the space between you and launches herself into your arms. You hold her tightly and hug her like your life depends on it. Max’s tears are muffled into your jacket and you gently card your fingers through her hair. You hug her until she pulls away and wipes the tears off her cheeks.
You don’t say anything. What is there to say to someone who knows that they may die today? Instead, you throw an arm over her shoulder and walk back into the basement. The letter weighing in your jacket.
….
The hour that it took to change, get ready, and drive to Pennhurst Asylum went by quickly. With you in the passenger seat, Nancy driving, and Robin babbling away in the back, you went over the series of questions you wanted to ask.
By the time you arrived, you exhausted all the questions, and anxiously waited for the director of the asylum to take you into his office. Robin’s foot shook anxiously and you reached across to hold her hand. Your heart beats wildly against your chest and the iron grip Robin has on your hand makes your fingers sweaty.
When Director Hatch opens the door, the three of you stand up and introduce yourselves under your aliases Ruth, Rose, and Rebecca respectively. Taking a seat in front of his desk, Nancy hands him the falsified paperwork the newspaper team cooked up before you left Hawkins. You swallow hard when he mentions your high GPAs. Nancy takes the reigns by talking on behalf of the three of you.
“Would it be possible for us to speak to Victor?” you asked with a gentle smile.
“I’m afraid not,” he answered, lacing his fingers together before resting them on his desk as he looks at you. “There’s a rigorous protocol for those that want to see patients like Victor. You put in a request, then undergo a screening process, at which point the board will make a decision.”  
Director Hatch slides your files back towards you and you noticeably deflate under the rejection. You shift uncomfortably in your chair and tug at the turtleneck you’re wearing. An awkward silence falls over the office and you glance at Nancy and Robin. Your ears start to ring as you tune out whatever the director says afterwards.
Suddenly, Robin starts to ramble. Your eyes widen as you and Nancy stare at her. She stands up from her spot beside you and tugs at the top of her blouse anxiously. Robin blubbers about how you had put in multiple requests to meet with Victor and had been denied each time. She tells the director that coming to Pennhurst was a last-ditch effort to save your thesis. You watch Robin lie with incredible ease and how it was her dream to meet the man that ignited her passion for psychology. She pleas with the director that if you were men, you would meet Victor Creel no questions asked.
That seems to do the trick.
Walking out of his office towards the main halls where patients spend their days, he gives you a tour of the grounds. You walk through the gardens of the asylum towards the other side of the grounds. Director Hatch opens the door for you and the three of you walk inside. Nancy makes small talk with the director as you walk through the music room.
“Having the patients listen to meaningful stimuli like their favorite song can help them with treatment,” Hatch stated matter-of-factly. “It helps them come back to earth, so to speak.”
You nod along and follow him out the door from the music room down a series of steps until you’re standing in front of the door that leads to the criminal ward of the asylum. You swallow hard and rub your hands against your skirt. “Would it be possible for us to speak to Victor alone?” you asked.
Dr. Hatch turns away from the door to look at you. “Alone?”
Robin stutters out an explanation, coming to your aid. “I think we would just love the challenge of speaking to Victor without the safety net of an expert like yourself,” she said. “Then we can really rub in to Professor Bradley’s face.”
His brows pinch together. “I don’t believe I know a Professor Bradley.”
“Brantley!” Nancy laughed nervously. “She meant to say Brantley.”
Robin stumbles over her words and blames it on her nervous excitement on having the opportunity to speak to Victor Creel. Dr. Hatch nods his head slowly and relents, allowing the three of you the opportunity to speak to him alone. When he starts climbing up the stairs again, you let out a sigh of relief and Robin reaches to squeeze your hand again.
The guard in charge of the criminal ward opens the door and the three of you slowly walk behind him. You feel like your heart is in your throat with how fast it’s racing. The moans and groans of the other inmates fill your ears as you walk down to the end of the wing. The guard wakes Victor with the sound of his baton hitting the metal bars of his cell. It makes you jump in your shoes.
You let out a careful breath as the guard returns to the other end of the long hallway. You glance over at Nancy before you take a tentative step towards the cell. Your fingers gently squeeze the bars.
“Victor?” you whispered gently.
“I told Hatch no reporters!” he barked, slamming his hand on the metal table. The sound of his scratch marks filled your ears.
“We’re not reporters,” Nancy replied. “We came for help… we believe you. Whatever killed your family is back in Hawkins. Our friend will be the next victim if we don’t find out what you did to survive. Can you tell us what happened?”
Victor turns to face you and you bite back the gasp that threatens to escape your throat. Victor’s eyes were gone, instead scars littered his face. Robin reaches for your hand again and squeezes it hard. You felt like you were going to sweat through your blouse.
Victor’s voice fills the air as he tells you the story of what happened to his family leading up until the night they all died. His wife and daughter were plagued with nightmares and visions every night. There were dead animals in the yard all the time and there was a lingering, heavy presence over the home. He had tried to exorcise the demon, but it only seemed to anger it more. Victor shares how his wife was the first victim, and when he tried to escape with his kids, he had been sent back into a memory from the war. He heard an angel, and by the time he came to, his son and daughter were gone.
Victor starts to whimper and he crawls back into his bed. You notice that he starts to hum an Ella Fitzgerald song under his breath. Your heart aches for the trauma Victor’s had to endure over the last 30 years. He plead not guilty by reason of insanity, and he wasn’t even crazy. It’s only when a bunch of teenagers come and ask is when he’s believed.
The door to the criminal ward opens and Dr. Hatch comes storming down the hall with two guards behind him.
Shit, you cursed. You hoped you could sneak out afterwards, and now you were fucked. Trailing behind the director with Nancy and Robin at your side, you whisper under your breath. “Remember how Dr. Hatch said that music helps bring patients back to reality? Victor was humming a song earlier, he said he heard a voice of an angel. What if music is the key to saving Max?”
“It’s worth a shot,” Robin muttered back.
Nancy glances over her shoulder to look back at the guards. “I think we can out-run them to the car.”
Robin starts to shake her head and you nod your head in agreement. You and Nancy take off through the garden. Robin yells after you and runs as fast as her gangly legs can take her. The guards shout after you and you turn the corner to get to the parking lot. Jumping into the back seat, you slam the door shut and Nancy takes off.
“Code red! Code red! Did you find anything useful?! Max is in trouble!” Dustin shouted from the radio.
“Music!” you shouted back, fumbling with the dial. “It’s music. Play her favorite song. It should bring her back from the visions.”
Now you would just have to sit and wait to see if it worked.
The drive back to Hawkins is done in silence. You didn’t know what to say to fill the gaps in the car. You didn’t know if music helped save Max from Vecna. Dustin stopped responding. When Nancy pulls into the driveway, you notice Max sitting on the curb with Lucas’s arms around her.
Clamoring out of the car, you run straight to Max, enveloping her in your arms. She sobs into your chest and clings to your backside. Tears of relief slide down your cheeks and the faint sound of Kate Bush escapes her headphones. You pull back to get a good look at her. Her cheeks are flushed a warm pink and red rims her eyes from crying, but Max is fine. She’s still here.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you muttered, resting your forehead against hers. Max doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to. She knows she has you and the rest of the group to lean on. Max doesn’t have to hide anymore. She knows that she’s not alone.
You let her go and take a step back, catching your breath. You turn to Steve, asking for your bike from the trunk. He gets it out for you and rolls it up the Wheeler’s driveway. Reentering their home, you change back into your comfy clothes and say goodbye for the night. It was time to go see Eddie.
You say your goodbyes and promise to come back first thing in the morning before leaving the house. Riding down the street, you make a quick pitstop at the general store. You purchase some bread, peanut butter, jelly, and chips to feed your boyfriend. You also buy a gallon of water, a toothbrush for you, and Irish Spring soap for Eddie.
Carefully setting the paper bag into the basket attached to your bike, you ride the four miles it takes to get to Lover’s Lake from the center of town. Turning down the road, you carefully dismount your bike and store it in the boatshed when you arrive at Reefer Rick’s house.
Walking up the small hill to the house with the bag in your hands, you carefully push the door open and step inside. “Eddie?” you whispered loudly in the dark. “It’s me!”
“Jesus Christ, sweetheart, you scared me,” Eddie said from his hiding spot near the master bedroom. You let out a sigh of relief and stumble around the room until the light from the bedroom illuminates your features. Eddie grins and takes the bag from you, setting it on the bed before securing you in his arms. “I missed you. I was starting to worry about you when I hadn’t heard from you today,” he mumbled into your temple. “Is everything okay?”
Your fingers claw at his backside as you breathe him in. You have to remind yourself that Eddie’s here, that Eddie’s safe. The reminder that Max could’ve died today had you been just a second slower haunts you. You can’t help the sobs that escape your throat as you cry into Eddie’s chest.
Eddie carefully guides you to the bed, the food in the bag long forgotten. Eddie whispers sweet nothings into your ear and runs his fingers up and down your back as you cry. Your tears dampen his shirt, but he doesn’t mind.
When the tears subside enough to let you catch your breath, you pull away so that your eyes meet his. Eddie’s warm smile makes your heart summer-sault and he holds the side of your face gently. His thumbs brush away the last of your tears and he leans down just enough to press a soft kiss to your nose, and then to your lips.
Your fingers cling to the Iron Maiden t-shirt you brought just the day before and you wince as the scabs on your knuckles start to tear open. Eddie pulls away and looks at you with concern. “What? What is it? Did I hurt you?” he asked.
You shake your head at him. “No. My knuckles are just sore from punching Jason in the face yesterday. I’m okay.”
Eddie’s grin is blinding at your answer and he carefully takes your hand in his, brushing his fingers over the inflamed skin on your knuckles. You tense when he hits a sore spot and Eddie whispers a soft apology. He brings your bruised hand up to his lips and kisses the tender flesh.
“I’m starting to think you’re a bad influence,” he teased against your skin. The smirk on Eddie’s face as he stares at you makes your skin flush with heat from the tips of your toes to the top of your spine. “What would my uncle say if he found out my girlfriend punched the Jason Carver in the face?”
“I imagine he would tell you to get on your knees and have you ask me to marry you,” you retorted with a grin. “Or he would give me a high five. You can decide, baby.”
Eddie’s soft laughter fills the space inside the bedroom and he gently lets go of your hand in favor of holding your waist. His nose brushes against yours before he dips down and captures your mouth in his. The kiss sets your stomach ablaze.
Your eyes flutter close and your mouth opens just enough so that Eddie can slip his tongue inside. You moan against his lips and cling on to his t-shirt again. Eddie grins wolfishly and gently presses you into the mattress. Your legs wrap around his waist instinctively and the feeling of Eddie’s hand resting against your throat makes your stomach tingle.
“Are you,” kiss, “going to,” kiss, “tell me,” kiss, “why you were,” kiss, “crying?” he muttered against your greedy mouth.
You swallow hard and card your fingers through his hair. “That depends. If I say no, will you still kiss me?”
Eddie pulls away and you groan in protest, reaching for him. Eddie leans back on his thighs and stares down at you expectantly. His hands run up and down your sides as he waits for an explanation. You sigh loudly and reach to trace the outline of his Master of Puppets tattoo on the inside of his arm.
Your bottom lip trembles as you recall the day. You told him about the letter Max wrote you and the circumstances at which point you were allowed to read it. Eddie knew that you were relatively close to the gaggle of freshmen he subsequently adopted into Hellfire Club, but he hadn’t realized the extent of it. You explained where you went today and that you had the opportunity to speak with Victor Creel.
“It was just… so sad, Eds,” you cried into your hands as he listened to you. “He’s spent the last 30 years mourning the loss of his family and the whole world thinks he killed them. You can tell how much he loved them. He still wears his wedding ring. I just… I wish there was a way we could help him… get him out of Pennhurst so that he can live the remaining years of his life as a free man.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed, pulling your hands away from your face and bringing them up to his lips to kiss, “my sweet, bleeding heart. I’m sorry. I wish I could be more helpful. I hate seeing you like this. It kills me.”
You shrug and push on. Eddie lays down with his back against the headboard and pulls you between his legs. His hands slip underneath your t-shirt and rest on your stomach as you share the rest of the day. Max comes up again, and this time you don’t try to hide the trembling and fear in your voice. You confess to Eddie how scared you were on the drive back from the asylum, wondering if Max was still alive. You tell him about the relief you felt when you saw her at the Wheelers home.
When you’re done recounting the day, it feels as if the weight of the world was lifted off your shoulders. Being able to share the ins and outs of something you’ve kept a secret with the man you love is liberating. It’s freed you from lying to Eddie any longer.
The tears come to a slow stop and you hold on to Eddie like your life depends on it. Your soft sniffles fill the room and Eddie kisses along your neck to the side of your head, coaxing you to take deep breaths.
Eddie climbs out of bed and reaches for the bag on the floor. He empties it and grabs the food. “I’ll be right back, I’m just going to go make us sandwiches,” he whispered before kissing you.
You take the time away from Eddie to collect yourself and take a speedy shower. When you step back into the room in just your t-shirt and undies, Eddie’s waiting for you on the bed, his sandwich untouched.
Returning to bed, you eat in silence until you’re done. Tossing your napkins into the trash beside you, you sink into Eddie’s embrace. Your legs tangle with his between the sheets and Eddie hides his face in your neck. You turn your head just enough so that your eyes meet.
“Is your favorite song still Master of Puppets?” you asked softly, resting a hand on his cheek.
Eddie grins and kisses the inside of your palm and nods. “Sure is,” he confirmed quietly. “Is yours still that cheesy song by Tears for Fears?”
You huff playfully and slap his chest. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World is not cheesy, Eddie. It’s a great song!”
“Whatever you say, princess,” he hummed against your skin.
He nips and sucks at your skin and you sigh blissfully, rocking your hips back to meet his.
“Eddie,” you plea, feeling the rough tent of his jeans against your back, “please. Please, Eddie.”
“Are you sure?” he whispered against the shell of your ear, his touch hot and heavy. “We don’t have to.”
“Yes,” you answered. “I want to. Do you?”
He nods against your neck. “It’s all I want. I’ve been thinking about you since the moment I touched between your thighs two days ago.”
Your whines fill the bedroom and Eddie smirks against your skin. His hands slide down your bare legs and squeeze your inner thighs. Eddie’s fingers creep up until they’re palming the center of your panties. He rubs you through the thin cotton and pulls the crotch aside to slip his fingers through. You mewl at his touch and grab at his wrist, feeling Eddie’s rough, calloused fingers gather up your wetness.
Eddie’s skull ring brushes through your folds and his finger plays with your clit. You cry out and dig your head into the pillow, rutting your hips back into Eddie’s. Eddie laughs into your ear and slips a finger into your gaping hole. Your body clenches at the intrusion, still not used to having fingers other than your own inside you. Eddie’s hot groans fill your senses as he slowly pumps his fingers inside of you.
With two fingers now scissoring you open, his thumb pressed against your clit. You moan loudly and feel the creeping pressure of an orgasm approaching between your legs. With Eddie’s free hand, he slides your t-shirt up your chest before your chest is on display for him.
Eddie maneuvers himself so you’re back is against the mattress and you’re underneath him. Eddie’s warm, sweet eyes are dark with desire as he watches you writhe beneath him. His soft smile turns wolfish and his fingers massage your tits before he leans down and captures one of them in his mouth.
You groan and tug on his hair harshly. Eddie moans against your skin and it sends you spiraling. The building pressure between your legs only grows with each thrust of his fingers. His tongue laps at your nipple, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise at the top of your chest. All you can think of in your over-stimulated haze is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. You gasp his name.
“Eddie, please, please let me cum. Please!” you blubbered, breathing hard.
“Go ahead, honey,” he mutters against your chest, his eyes meeting your fucked-out gaze.
You release with a cry of his name and your fingers tug his scalp harshly. Eddie moans again as he brings you through your first orgasm of the night. Your chest heaves as you catch your breath and Eddie slowly removes his fingers from in between your thighs, causing you to clench on nothing as they leave you.
Eddie kisses along your hairline and you turn your head so you can look at him. Eddie’s face is a deep pink and sweat gathers at the top of his head. You gingerly brush a finger against his cheek and swallow hard. “Can I… can I take care of you?” you asked bashfully.
He grins, playfully nipping at your finger before leaving a kiss. “Only if you want to.”
“I do. I just… I don’t know how. I haven’t done it before.”
Eddie’s smile only grows at your confession and he brushes a finger against your cheek. “That’s okay. I’ll help you through it. We can stop anytime, okay?”
You nod and quickly change positions with your lover. You eagerly tear Eddie’s shirt from his shoulders and toss it on the floor. Your mouth finds his neck and you bite and nip and the pale skin. Eddie holds you in place with his hands on your hips, squeezing hard when you begin to leave a trail down his body.
You leave hickies along Eddie’s slender chest leading to his happy trail. Your fingers trace the outlines of his tattoos before you shimmy down until you’re eye-level with his crotch. Letting out a careful breath, you slowly undo Eddie’s belt and unzip his pants. Eddie reaches for your chin and forces you to look at him. You swallow hard and kiss the inside of his palm before tugging his jeans, and his boxers, down his waist and off his legs.
You can’t help but gasp at the sight and it makes Eddie chuckle. You remember what he felt like a few days ago and the euphoria you felt when he was inside you. The same feeling returns and it makes you squeeze your thighs shut at the thought of Eddie’s warm, thick cock inside of your aching pussy.
You gently wrap your hand around Eddie, looking up to make sure you’re doing it right. He nods encouragingly and you slowly tug on his cock. Eddie curses and throws his head back and it gives you all the confidence you need to keep going. You thumb at the tip, gathering the pre-cum between your fingers before leaning down and gathering him in your mouth.
“Oh, fuck, baby,” he cursed, resisting the urge to fuck your mouth. “You feel so good.”
You tongue at the head and he hits the back of your throat. It makes you gag and Eddie tries to pull away to make sure you’re okay. Your fingers dig in to his bare thighs and slowly begin to bob your head back and forth against his cock. Eddie’s hips rut against your mouth and his fingers settled at the back of your head, guiding you in and out of his cock. Tears spring at the corners of your eyes as you take him deeper inside your mouth. Drool falls down your chin and Eddie moans loudly.
“Need your pussy, baby,” he whined. “If you keep suckin’ me like that, I won’t last.”
He gently pulls your head away from his aching cock and guides you back up his chest. Eddie’s fingers hold your chin and he slots his mouth on yours. He moans at the taste of himself on your tongue and wraps his arms around your middle. He carefully pins you beneath him and grabs your legs, pushing them up against your chest as he tugs your panties off your hips and throwing them on the floor.
“This okay, baby?” he asked, lining himself at your aching hole, teasing between your folds. You nod wordlessly and Eddie tuts at you. “Words, baby. I need you to use your words.”
“Yes!” you cried, clawing at the sheets beneath you. “Yes, Eddie.”
“Good girl,” he hummed and the praise shouts straight to your waiting center. Eddie braces himself against you and teases the tip of his cock at your entrance. He slowly thrusts inside of you, bottoming out with a moan against your ear.
You whine pathetically and claw at his backside. The pressure against your legs at the position you’re in sends tingles down your spine. Eddie’s warm chest pins your knees to your stomach and he slowly rocks back into you, his warm cock pressing against the deepest part of you.
“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,” you babbled, too cock-drunk to say anything else other than your lover’s name as he brought his hips back and forth to meet yours. Eddie smirks against your hot skin and turns your face so your mouths meet in a hot and heavy kiss. The kiss is teeth and tongue and it has you aching for more. “More, Eddie. I need more.”
Eddie’s warm laughter slips into your mouth and he pulls away just enough to get a good look at you. He pets at your hair and clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “You’re so greedy, baby. Here I am inside you and you’re begging for more. What do you want, honey? Tell me,” he hummed, brushing your hair out of your eyes with his fingers. His eyes darken as he stares down at you, waiting for your answer.
You breathe hard and flush under his intense gaze. You swallow the lump in your throat and whisper, “Can you… can you play with my clit? Or—or you can let me do it?”
Another wolfish grin appears on Eddie’s face and he kisses you hard on the mouth. “Of course, baby. Is that going to help you cum, hmm? You need my fingers and my cock?” Eddie’s skilled fingers slide down your body and press against where you needed him most.
You don’t have it in you to be embarrassed by Eddie’s teasing. You nod pathetically and grab his wrist, holding him in place so he couldn’t pull away. The pressure between your legs grows as Eddie continues to thrust into you and finger your throbbing clit. The sound of skin slapping fills your ears and the stench of sex fills your nose. Eddie noses at your neck and bites into your skin. You cry out and dig your fingers into his back.
Eddie smiles against your hot and sweaty skin, nibbling the shell of your ear. His hot breath fans across your face. “You almost there, honey? I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep squeezing me like that,” he whispered as you clenched around him. Eddie curses in your ear.
“Yeah, yeah. Just… just keep doing what you’re doing. You can cum if you can’t hold it,” you sighed against his mouth.
Eddie growls against your lips. “Nuh uh, sweetheart. You cum first or you don’t cum at all.”
You cry out at his empty threat and Eddie’s fingers press through your folds and gather your wetness between his fingers. The headboard knocks against the wall with each thrust. Your eyes flutter closed at your release nears and Eddie lays his hand on your throat.
“Open your eyes, princess. I want to see those pretty eyes when you cum.”
Eddie’s words send a shock through your body and you open your eyes. You whine loudly as you stare into his warm brown eyes and cum with a cry of his name. Eddie moans your name and you watch his brows knit together as he released inside you. You sigh in relief and Eddie’s thrusts slow as he coasts through his orgasm. Eddie hides his face in your neck and kisses your throat until he stills inside you. You turn your head and gently card your fingers through his hair. He hums against your skin as you catch your breath.
Eddie gently pulls out of you. You hiss at the sudden emptiness between your legs and watch Eddie scurry to the bathroom. He returns with a warm cloth and gently wipes between your legs before using it on himself. Eddie tosses it on the floor before climbing back into bed and holding you against his chest.
You bask in the warm silence of the room and Eddie’s lips kiss your throat.
“Can I tell you something?” Eddie whispered in your ear.
“You know you can tell me anything,” you replied softly, turning your head so that your eyes meet his.
A faint blush covers his cheeks and his nose brushes against yours. “I wanted to ask you to prom,” he confessed, “y’know… before shit hit the fan and I was accused of murder.”
Your eyes widen at his confession and you can’t help the laugh that bubbles through your throat. “Prom? Eddie, you’ve been a senior three times and haven’t gone to prom once. You wanted to go to prom with me? You hate high school functions.”
Eddie shrugs bashfully. A shy laugh escapes him. “I hadn’t found the right partner. Plus, you even said that you didn’t go to prom when you were still here.”
“My brother got married that weekend,” you recalled, “that’s why I didn’t go.”
“What do you say, hmm? Will you go to prom with me?”
You grin and hold his face between your hands. You press a sweet kiss to Eddie’s lips. “Of course I’ll go to prom with you, Eddie. If we don’t go, who will spike the punch bowl?”
He grins and affectionately squeezes your cheeks together, kissing your puckered lips. Eddie’s warm laughter swallowing you whole.
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crushedsweets · 1 month
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it’s been a while back so i’m w more song analysis!! this is too long i’m warning u now. in fact this might not even be readable im so sorry it’s just. so much rambling 😭
when memories snow (more mitski mm also i got tickets for her tour and i will not shut up ab it!!! she’s so cool!!!!!!!) is incredibly tim coded. the very sinister chords at the chorus, really makes you *feel* him spiralling - and the LYRICS ugh very ‘i’m trying to ignore/suppress my memories but they keep coming back against my will’ slash ‘bottling up all my feelings and forging on with my work. pretending they don’t exist’
hate yourself by tv girl is very nina x kate (in the sense of kate watching nina destroy herself for a man who does not even like her) ough. ‘i think you’d fall in love with anyone who fell in love with you / and they frequently do’ BC KATE DID!! kate fell in love with her!! also ‘i’ll just wait til those arms belong to me’ is so subtly manipulative which is very. yeah. kate’s definitely not perfect and i wouldn’t put her above being like that if she really wanted to. + the deceptively happy instrumental with vaguely dark lyrics = nina being overly outgoing and social to make up for the fact that her mental state is in absolute shambles (poor bby)
the wolf by siamés is both tim and brian but i think leans more brian (what is it with this man that makes me think of ‘walking music’. ykwim? the chain, the wolf, house of the rising sun all remind me of him. all very slow-threatening-determined-walk songs) once again, driving beat, heavy bassline. (i play bass guitar so i love a song w an interesting bass part) i think shows resilience as well as grounding - imo he’s always been one of the more mature / level-headed creeps, to the point he’s very self aware. this man knows exactly what he’s doing at all times. ‘somewhere far away i can hear your call’ even in the future when he thinks he’s escaped from slender he knows deep down he’ll never be truly free…. yes ok
keep myself alive by get scared for jane. she’s so angry - AS SHE SHOULD BE and i feel it’s just a audible version of her rage. ‘i just wanna leave this place behind / everytime i see your face in mine’ because her and jeff have the same burned face thing going on…….. ough. she can never escape from the man who ruined her life. the guitar shifting from this melancholy, reverb-y tone in the verses to the loud distortion in the chorus reflecting her mood shifting from self-pity to raw anger
bonus: class of 2013 by mitski x toby
i should rlly make a playlist for each creep but i use musi not spotify 💔
- 🌙 anon
sorry for making u read all of this ❤️
anon. oh my god. i need you to know how often i think about this ask. and how guilty i feel knowing i shouldve responded forever ago but kept putting it off. im going to respond now with shame. thank you so much for your patience. my god
when memories snow for tim is soooo real. i associate him with a longing for life before slendy, while also repressing it cuz it hurts knowing itll never ever come back. going to bars, hanging out in his friends apartments, going to class, late night driving... "I shovel all those memories, clear the path to drive to the store" i think even the imagery of him shoveling snow out of a driveway gives off that sort of strong, cold idea of him. and 'drive to the store' obv being...proxy work... SO SAD
ALSO FUCK NINAKATE MENTION IM IN TEARS ok listen. theyre both really bad. and i super agree that kate might be a bit deceptive and manipulative (intentionally or not) cuz she wants nina to completely remove jeff and take his place (NOT HIS ROLE, just his place in ninas arms). also "how long will it take before you start to hate yourself and go straight to the arms of someone else" i think its undeniable that ninas obsession with romance is related to her own self image, and kate doesnt really like herself that much either. "im not saying that you love me, im not saying anything" OHH BUT SHE WANTS NINA SOOO BAD... man.
also im absolutely in love with how you take the sound itself into account, not just lyrics. the way you explain the wolf connecting to brians determination, reslience, and grounding presense is SOOO PERFECT and i can see it in the first few lyrics as well. the also "sneaking in the pain, every truth becomes lie / i wont trust myself once i hear your call" THATS TIM AND BRIAN COME ON GUYS DO YOU HEAR THIS
also i love keep myself alive. i heavily agree she has every right to be angry, and thats a core part of her character - rage, grief, strength. "to sleep i of course think i'm stronger now / to sleep i gotta catch myself" im crying. the sleep menton + she feels alone. she has a support system, a literal wife, but she still holds all of her grief on her own shoulders. who the fuck else can relate to being violently stalked for months, walking in on your parents being tortured together, being attacked, nearly burnt alive, then LOSING your parents? also "how could this dark cloud make me stronger now" i think a lot of people would have told her that her experience made her a survivor and made her strong and whatnot. but i dont think she feels that way. i think she feels like a victim, she feels tortured, she feels like that same little girl who'd sleep in her parents bed after a nightmare - but this isnt a nightmare she can wake up from. her parents bed burnt to ashes. there is relief in just letting yourself grieve and hurt - but she's so beyond focused on being strong. and it doesnt make sense to her. doesnt make sense how she can be strong after all of that . but she is, cuz she has to be
ALSO YES OH MY FUCKING GOD CLASS OF 2013 DFUCK FUCKFUCKF FIFJF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK i dont even need to explain why this gets me. yall already know. my god
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41319kbex · 2 months
Text
Hell Hath No Fury (10/?)
Thanks so much everyone for the kind words on the last chapter. I really love hearing all your thoughts! As some of you may have guessed, I am going to have to eventually do a time jump in the timeline…it’s just not feasible to write three months of summer the way I’m doing…not to mention I’m going to eventually run out of ways to ramp up the sexual tension without giving them and you a payoff! I also haven’t decided if I’m going to do a big time jump, or a series of smaller time jumps (if ya’ll have opinions, feel free to weigh in!), and there won’t really be a time jump of more than a week in this one, but I want to let you know that it will eventually happen.
All that said, this chapter is going to start with them waking up from where they went to bed in the last chapter.
I still don’t own Castle…
xxxxx
Kate woke up to the feeling of her back laying on something solid that did not feel like the soft mattress she'd fallen asleep on. She opened her eyes and realized her back was mostly laying on Castle's chest; in fact, she was half laying on him. She figured he must have rolled onto his back partially in his sleep, and his arms around her had taken her with him. She shifted slightly just to get a little more comfortable, but since he was still sleeping, she was going to take a few extra moments before getting up to enjoy the closeness…the way their legs were tangled, the feel of his hand on the skin of her stomach underneath her shirt as he held her close, the soft, almost satiny feel of the fabric of his boxers as the fingers of her left hand lightly stroked along his thigh. Breathing as deeply as she dared before her ribs could protest, she closed her eyes and took it all in.
She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but when she finally opened her eyes again, she looked over at the clock. 6:23. It was earlier than she expected him to wake up, but she needed to get out of bed, or at least out of the position she was in with him; the longer she remained tangled with him like that, the longer she spent running her fingers along his thigh, the more chance she had of her self control slipping because her fingers wanted to stroke other things.
Deciding this was as good a morning as any to go get her coffee and watch the sun rise from the balcony, she carefully untangled their legs and slipped out of his arms. She spotted a sweatshirt of his tossed casually over a chair and she slipped it on to fight the sudden chill caused by being away from both the warmth of his body and his sheets. She paused for another moment to make sure he wasn’t going to wake up before quietly padding barefoot through his house to the kitchen to make some coffee.
She startled slightly when she saw the older gentleman in the kitchen already. Right. Alfred. “Oh, hi,” she greeted a little shyly. She had not expected his butler to be there already.
“Good morning, Miss Beckett. Is everything okay?”
“Yes…sorry. I just didn’t realize you would be here this early.”
Alfred nodded. “I’m here at 6 every morning during the week. I do a check of the house to prioritize what I should start on first. I was just about to come collect Mr. Castle’s clothes to do his laundry.”
Kate’s eyes widened slightly. If she hadn’t gotten up when she did, the butler would have walked in on them in their position. She made a mental note to tell Castle he should ask his butler to grab his laundry AFTER they were out of bed from now on. “Right. Um…I just came for some coffee…”
“Yes Ma’am. Allow me,” the older gentleman shifted to the coffee maker to start it up. “Will you just be taking your cup, or will you be bringing Mr. Castle a cup as well?” he asked her, his eyes twinkling slightly.
Her cheeks flushed; apparently the butler was aware they were sharing a bedroom now. “I can take his,” she answered. She figured if he hadn’t woken up by the time she was finished with her cup, she could always just drink his.
He nodded, fixing two cups of coffee for her. “Would you like me to bring breakfast to your room? Or have it waiting in here?”
“In here is fine,” she answered, her cheeks growing hot again.
“Very good, Ma’am. Do you have a request for breakfast?”
She thought for a minute. “Actually, I’d really like some pancakes.”
“Yes Ma’am. Mr. Castle has instructed me to have breakfast ready at 8:30 every morning. Should I make it later?”
“No, Alfred…8:30 is fine…” she took the cups of coffee he handed her, her cheeks flaming as she made a hasty retreat back to their…his…bedroom. She wasn’t embarrassed by being with him…they were two consenting adults, after all. Kate was just a private person, and someone she didn’t know very well knowing the private details of her sleeping arrangements was just a little unnerving to her as she adjusted to this new relationship.
She placed the coffee on his nightstand as she passed through the room to hopefully draw him out of his slumber. She did pause before she got to the French doors to look at him sleeping. He was kind of adorable in a sexy way. Taking a sip of her coffee, she smiled before opening the
doors and moving out to enjoy the morning view from the balcony.
It was almost 20 minutes later when he joined her on the balcony, his coffee in one hand and wrapping his other arm around her from behind. “Don’t you ever sleep in?” he asked her, dropping a soft kiss to her shoulder.
She laughed softly into her own coffee cup as she took a drink. “I’m usually a morning person. I’m not sure why that would surprise you.”
“You could have stayed in bed with me…” he pouted.
She turned her face to meet his with a clearly amused smile. “I’m not really one to lounge around in bed when I’m awake either,” she informed him.
“But we could have cuddled…”
“I told you last night; I’m not big on cuddling.” She might learn to be because she realized he liked it, but that morning would not have been the morning to start. Her thoughts were too focused on sexy times that they couldn’t have yet, and as the responsible adult in the relationship, she had gotten herself out of the situation before it could become a situation. “Besides, I’m glad I got up when I did.”
“Why?”
“Because your butler was about 5 minutes from coming in the bedroom to get your laundry,” she answered pointedly.
“So? He does that several mornings a week.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t been in your bed other mornings,” she informed him, hoping the coffee he was drinking would kick in at some point and his brain would wake up.
“Right…” he nodded, trying to follow along. “Right!” he realized finally.
“Yeah…and what if we had been in the middle of something else?” she asked him. “If I’m going to share your bed, I just want to know that I’m not going to have someone walk in looking to pick up laundry while we’re sleeping…or other things…”
He nodded again. “Right. I’ll ask him to do his laundry pickup after we are out of bed.”
“Thank you,” she smiled, finishing the coffee in her cup. “I like him though, so tell him nicely.”
He chuckled softly. “I will.”
xxxxx
Somehow he had convinced her to play videogames with him, and though it wasn’t normally her thing, she had agreed. “Castle, I work with dead bodies and guns all day. The last thing I want to do when I come home is play a shooting game where I kill people,” she had told him.
“But you’ll be great at it. And it’s fun. You’ll see,” he had promised her.
So after him telling her how the game controls worked and explaining the basics, she had agreed to join him on his campaign. And she had to admit, it had actually been kind of fun. Not something she would necessarily do all the time, but something she could see herself enjoying doing with him on occasion. And he had been right; she was good at it. So good, in fact, that on Friday before she left, he had insisted she play against him…just a little friendly competition.
“Are you sure?” she asked him. “Castle, I’m a very competitive person.”
“Of course I’m sure. I’m not worried, you just started playing this game. Don’t worry, I’ll take it easy on you.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You’ll take it easy on me?”
“Yeah, I promise,” he smiled.
She silently stared at him for a moment. “Fine. I’ll play against you. But don’t take it easy on me. When I kick your ass, I don’t want you to have any excuses.”
He laughed at that. “Oh, I don’t think you’ll be kicking my ass.”
She had to bite her lip to keep from resorting to his level of childishness. “We’ll see,” was all she said.
Barely half an hour later, Castle sat staring in disbelief at the television screen. Kate hadn’t just kicked his ass, she’d completely annihilated him. He wasn’t even sure how it had happened.
“Come on, Castle, walk me out. The car service should be here any minute to take me back to the city,” she handed him the controller and patted his leg. Seeing him still staring at the TV, she laughed softly. “I told you I was a competitive person.”
He finally turned the screen off and put the controllers down. “I just don’t understand how…you haven’t played until this week!” he almost whined.
She gave him a smile and a shrug. “Don’t take it personally, Castle. I’m just better at using my fingers than you are,” she said so casually, her comment laced with innuendo and her eyes dancing playfully as she turned to head out of his office toward the front door to check for the car.
Her comment had him blinking after her in disbelief. He wasn’t sure how to feel in that moment…turned on or disappointed. It took a few moments to pick up his wounded pride, but he eventually followed her to the door to see her off.
“You know, you really don’t have to go,” he told her.
Smiling, she shook her head. “I really do. I’m out of clothes again, and I promised Lanie a girl’s night this weekend. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her for awhile, and she’s just worried about me. The last time I really talked to her was the day you were shot…she just wants to make sure I’m handling everything ok and not disappearing into myself.”
He nodded. “Are you going to tell her about us?” he asked curiously.
“I haven’t decided yet,” she admitted. “Lanie likes to interrogate me about you, so it’s possible after a few glasses of wine I might say something…” she smiled a little. “But she’ll keep it a secret if I ask her to.”
“Is that what you want? To keep it a secret?” he asked her softly.
She inhaled slowly as she thought about his question. “Maybe for a little while from most people. Obviously your family should know…but I haven’t told my dad. I might tell Lanie…but…it’s just easier to figure out a new relationship if everyone isn’t suddenly commenting on it, you know? I’m kind of not ready to share us with everyone yet,” she tried to explain. “Maybe not keep it a secret, just…don’t broadcast it,” she suggested. “Don’t deny it, and if someone we don’t tell directly figures it out, they figure it out.”
“I can do that. It’s not like there’s a ton of people here to figure it out anyway,” he smiled, opening the door as the car pulled up. “It’s one reason I like it out here. I get privacy.”
She smiled at that sentiment. “I’ll see you on Sunday,” she murmured, leaning in for a long, slow kiss goodbye before finally pulling away and getting into the car.
xxxxx
“Hey, Pumpkin. You got a minute?” Castle asked his daughter when he found her reading on the couch in the living room.
She looked up and met his eyes with a smile. “Sure, Dad.”
He gently lifted her feet so he could sit down and then placed them in his lap. He wasn’t really sure how he should start this conversation. He wasn’t sure if he should just come right out and tell her, or try to feel out how she felt about Beckett first. “Hey, you remember last summer when I asked Beckett to spend Memorial Day weekend here, and she said no?”
“Yeah, and then you asked Gina, and started that whole train wreck again…” she commented, but gave him a sympathetic smile to take the bite out of her words.
“How would you feel if I asked Beckett to come again?” he asked her softly.
Alexis shrugged. “Alright I guess. Do you think she’ll say yes this time?”
He smiled slightly. “I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes this time.”
She studied her father for a few moments; this was more than his general brand of cocky confidence. He stated this as pretty much a fact. “I think what you mean to say is, you've already asked her and she's already agreed.”
“Something like that," he chuckled. "Is that okay with you?” he asked her seriously.
“Does it matter? If I say no, are you going to take back your invitation?” she asked him simply.
Now it was his turn to study his daughter. Was she upset with him for asking Beckett without consulting her first, or was she upset he had asked Beckett at all? Or was it option three and she wasn’t upset, only continuing the conversation? “Um…no, I’m not,” he finally admitted honestly. “Alexis…are you upset with Kate?”
“Kate?” she asked. Since when did his father called Beckett Kate? And then it hit her. “Dad, are you and Beckett…?” But she already knew that answer just from the way her father had said Kate’s name.
“Would it upset you if I told you yes?”
Alexis was quiet for a few minutes. “Yes…no…I don’t know…” she started. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
He smiled and gently rubbed her ankle. “I’m not going to get hurt.”
“Right. Like you weren’t shot taking a bullet for her. Or how about almost freezing to death in a freezer with her? Or one of the dozens of other times you’ve been in a life threatening situation because of her?” she pointed out.
He breathed deeply before pulling her into a hug. “Hey, it’s not your job to worry about me, ok? I’m not going anywhere. Dating her has nothing to do with any of those situations. She’s got my back. She’s a great cop, and a great partner,” he promised her. “And if it helps, she’s already read me the riot act several times about getting shot for her, so trust me…I fear her enough not to do it again,” he tried to lighten the mood with a smile.
She sighed softly. “And what if you guys don’t work out? I’ve seen how you get when you fight with her. Or when she’s kicked you out of the precinct,” she pointed out.
“Most of the time when I’ve been kicked out of the precinct, it’s been my own fault,” he told her. “And yes…we fight sometimes. She’s as stubborn as I am. And she drives me crazy sometimes. But she’s also the most extraordinary person I’ve ever met.”
“This isn't just you asking her for a weekend or casually dating her...you love her, don’t you?” Alexis realized softly.
Castle nodded with a smile. “Yeah, Pumpkin. I do.”
“Does she love you?”
“Yes,” he answered confidently. Kate may not have said the exact words to him, but he knew her well enough to read between the lines of the words she had said to him in combination with her actions. He had no doubts Kate felt the same way about him that he felt about her.
She thought about it for a few moments, remembering how Kate had been at the hospital when Castle was in surgery, how despite her own feelings, she had tried to be there for Alexis, and afterward, how relieved she had been to see him awake. She wasn't sure if that was proof of her love, but it seemed to be enough for now. “Then yes. I’m ok if she comes out here for Memorial Day.”
“How about all summer?”
Alexis raised an eyebrow at that. “All summer?”
Castle realized Alexis didn’t know she was suspended or out on medical leave. “She went after the shooter. Her new captain didn’t necessarily agree with her methods, so she can’t return to work until September. She’s…actually been here the last two weeks and went back to the city on the weekends…” he told her with a small smile, hoping that wouldn’t upset her.
“Oh…” she digested that information. “You’re a bad influence on her, Dad!”
“Wait, what? How is this my fault?” Castle asked, wondering when his daughter had suddenly taken Kate’s side.
Alexis shrugged. “She seems pretty by the book to me since I’ve met her. This has to be your influence. You’re the one who breaks rules.”
“Thanks, Pumpkin. I’m so glad we had this talk,” he shook his head, removing her feet from his lap so that he could stand up.
“Hey Dad? I really am happy for you,” she told him with a smile. “Don’t screw this up.”
He chuckled softly. “I’ll try not to.”
xxxxx
“How are you holding up, Kate?” Lanie asked her friend, settling onto the stool at her counter as Kate poured them each a glass of wine. “I haven’t heard from you since that day at the hospital. Javi told me you found the shooter, and he’s dead. He told me you’re suspended until September. I know you…you keep this all inside, and you’re going to be a bomb ready to go off.”
Kate took a sip from her glass, settling on a stool to face her friend. “I’m okay, really. I’ve…made peace with it, as odd as that sounds.”
Lanie just eyed her suspiciously. “What do you mean you ‘made peace with it?’”
She shrugged. “I mean, the guy who shot Castle is dead. I don’t have a lead to run with on my mom’s case…and I can’t really do anything but serve out my suspension. Do I like all of those scenarios? No, of course not. But I’m…dealing,” she said honestly.
“Yeah, but how you are dealing? You got beat up pretty good on that roof and then suspended, and I didn’t hear from you to even find out if you were okay. I had to hear it all from Javi.”
Kate wrinkled her nose slightly at that. “I’m sorry. I just…haven’t been in the city.”
“Did you go do that brooding thing you do at your dad’s cabin?” Lanie asked simply.
“I don’t do a ‘brooding thing.’ And no, I wasn’t at my dad’s cabin.”
“First of all, Kate Beckett, you absolutely do do a brooding thing,” Lanie started. “If you haven’t been at your dad’s cabin, then where have you been, and what has had you so busy that you couldn’t call your best friend and at least tell me that you’re ok?”
Kate was quiet for a moment. “The Hamptons,” she murmured just as she took a long drink of
her wine.
“I’m sorry, the what now?” Lanie wasn’t sure she’d heard her correctly.
“The Hamptons,” she said again, tugging her lower lip between her teeth. The only person they knew who had a place in the Hamptons was Castle; she waited for her friend to connect the dots.
Lanie’s eyes widened slightly and she got a knowing smile. “Oh I see how you've been dealing with everything. You’ve been too busy getting your freak on with Writer Boy to think about me.” Seeing Kate about to open her mouth, Lanie’s smile grew. “No need to apologize. I’ve seen the chemistry between the two of you since the beginning. After 3 years, I’m surprised you came up for air long enough to have a girl’s night with me.”
“Lanie, it’s not like that,” Kate blushed slightly.
“Wait, you're not together? So if not Castle, then who or what have you been doing in the Hamptons for two weeks?”
“We are…it’s just that I’ve got broken ribs, and he’s still recovering…that’s not exactly a set-up for a romantic getaway,” she smiled slightly.
“You’re telling me that you’re staying in his Hampton’s house together…alone…you’ve admitted how you feel about each other, and you’re not having sex?” Lanie didn’t believe that for a second. “You haven’t even tried?”
Kate laughed, taking another drink of wine. “Sleeping in the same bed, even.”
“You’re sleeping with him, but not sleeping with him?” Lanie took a big drink of her wine then. “Girl, I haven’t had enough wine for that to make sense.”
Kate laughed again, offering her friend the bottle to refill her glass. “I’m honestly not sure how much longer either of us are going to last though. We’ve been…close. Thankfully he’s got a butler this summer who has impeccable timing.”
“Wait, Castle hired a butler?” Lanie shook her head.
“He said it hurt his ego less than hiring a home health nurse,” she smiled.
“Ah. Men and their egos.”
“And Castle’s is one of the biggest I’ve seen,” Kate commented without thinking. “Not what I
meant, Lanie,” she laughed when she caught the look on the medical examiner’s face. “I haven’t seen…you know what…not going there. Anyway…I was going to ask…you’re a doctor. When is it safe to…you know?” she asked before taking another drink.
“You want me to give you permission to have sex with Castle? Is that what tonight is about?” Lanie teased.
“I’m serious…death by sex isn’t exactly what I’m going for.”
“Okay, okay,” Lanie laughed softly. “Broken ribs are usually pretty stable unless there's more trauma inflicted on the same spot, so it’s really only a question of your pain tolerance. I mean, I wouldn’t try anything too crazy, but you can get your basic freak on with broken ribs so long as you can tolerate the pain of heavy breathing and he doesn’t get too rough with his hands near your injury.”
“And what about him?” Kate asked then.
“I honestly can’t give you an answer without knowing how badly his heart was damaged from the gunshot. Sex gets your heart rate up pretty high if you’re doing it right…I don’t want to tell you it’s all good and then you kill the guy.”
Kate and set her glass on the counter before running her hands through her hair. “This is killing me,” she murmured in frustration.
“You should have listened to me and jumped that man when I first told you to. If you had, you wouldn’t have 3 years worth of sexual frustration built up ready to explode like a Mentos dropped in Diet Coke,” Lanie told her friend with a laugh.
“Now is not the time for an ‘I told you so,’ Lanie,” Kate groaned.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…funny. You spent 3 years denying how much you want that man, and now that you’re ready, you’re the one stuck waiting for him to be ready. Even you have to admit that’s a little funny.”
“The irony is not lost on me, believe me. I would just appreciate it more if I wasn’t so damn frustrated,” Kate murmured.
“You don’t have to be frustrated. I said you could do things as long as you can tolerate the pain. So do things with him. Or, more accurately, let Writer Boy do things to you. Things that won’t get his heart rate too high...I'm sure his fingers are strong from all the typing he does...” Lanie suggested with a smile.
Kate’s cheeks flushed slightly as she picked up on what her friend was suggesting. “That’s not really fair to him, though…”
“Do you want to be fair to him, or do you want to get some relief?”
“Both,” she answered. “Plus I’m not sure that’s a good idea…it seems like playing with fire, because I’m not sure either of us would stop even if it were just one-sided,” Kate admitted.
“Then you better hope his butler continues to have impeccable timing and enjoy cold showers until his doctor gives him the all clear.” Seeing her friend’s frustrated face at that answer, Lanie gave her a sympathetic smile. “It shouldn’t be too long. As soon as his doctor tells him it’s safe to start getting his heart rate up, you should be fine to do whatever he can tolerate. In fact, when he is supposed to start getting his heart rate up, sex is probably going to be good for him. Nothing crazy,” she cut her friend a teasing look, “but enough to give you both what you want.” She paused again, as both women took a drink. “So…you and Castle, huh?”
Kate smiled slightly. “About that…we aren’t ready to start broadcasting our relationship, so if you could….”
Lanie mimicked a key turning at her lips. “My lips are sealed. Not even Javi,” she promised her friend.
“Thank you.”
"You can thank me with details once you two finally do the deed," she smiled, causing Kate to both smile and blush again.
xxxxx
She’d told Castle she wouldn’t need his car service this weekend, but she hadn’t told him why. She’d tested out how her ribs felt with a shorter bike ride to make sure she’d be okay for a longer trip, and it when she found it didn’t bother her as much as the position in a car, she decided she’d surprise Castle by bringing her bike to the Hamptons.
Her black leather jacket was zipped over a white t-shirt, and she’d even worn her black leather riding pants. She didn’t always wear leather pants when she rode; most of the time, she actually just wore jeans. But she couldn’t resist the urge to wear them, if for no other reason than to give Castle the full effect of seeing her on her bike for the first time.
She figured he was watching for her, same as last week, but she made sure to rev the engine a few times as she pulled into the driveway to grab his attention. She was rewarded when he didn’t just open the door, but actually came outside to the driveway to see her on the bike, the look on his face a priceless mix of arousal, excitement and awe. “Hey,” she greeted him with a
smile as she pulled her helmet off and shook her hair out.
“You brought your bike…” he commented, making no effort to hide the way his eyes were travelling over her hungrily.
“I did,” she smiled, killing the engine before dismounting.
“And you wore leather…”
She laughed softly. “I did,” she closed the short distance between them and placed a gentle kiss to his lips.
“Wow,” he murmured, looking from her, to the bike, and back to her.
“Wow, Castle. I can't tell, are you more excited to see me, or the bike?” she asked with another laugh.
“I’m more excited to see you on the bike…in those pants…” he told her honestly with a smile, his eyes travelling back over her. “Will you get back on it?”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “No,” she told him, unhooking her bag and grabbing it to take it inside. “But if you behave, I might take you for a ride,” she gave him a playful smile as she walked past him into the house.
So many thoughts filled his head with her simple remark, and he let a few of them play through his head before he followed her inside.
xxxxx
I know this was a lengthy chapter, but it covered most of the things I wanted to do before I hit a time jump. Next chapter will be Memorial Day weekend, and then I’ll have to decide how far ahead I want to go with a time jump. I look forward to all your thoughts and comments!
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charturnus · 2 years
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I'm It's a complex
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Ship: Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader
a/n: ...... So, surprise, I'm not dead! What can I say? Mercury was in retrograde? In all seriousness, I am very sorry for the ungodly amount of time between chapters, I hope this goliath makes up for it somewhat. Thank you to everyone who has been kind, your messages mean so much to me. Please let me know if you enjoy this!
Dedication: For Magda, who is the brightest light in my life. I know without a doubt that I will never be unloved by you, and that knowledge is balm for an aching soul.
Tags/warnings: 18+ minors DNI; top!wanda; bottom!reader; vaginal sex; praise; dominance; dirty talk; sex toys; degradation; unconventional therapy tactics
Word count: 15K
Summary: Chapter IX; Did you get enough of love, my little dove? AU
The one where Agatha is a show-off, you let something slip, and you make a friend. 
Previous chapter ➵➵
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‘’I told you so!’’  Is the first thing Pepper says, as she steps over the threshold with a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a stack of papers in the other, a black tote bag slung over one shoulder. Kate follows right behind her, offering us her genuine congratulations. Neither of them know yet, of course. Wanda and I have been sitting tight on the secret of our budding relationship, so they’re just happy our staged kiss worked so well.  
Wanda has made it her mission to throw a dinner party for her friends, so she can announce our relationship in style. But it turns out that it’s quite difficult to gather a group of women who all have insanely busy jobs. Pepper works crazy hours, Agatha sometimes works miles away, and I know from experience that Maria, who has taken over my old job, has her plate completely full. But, Wanda has managed to find a date and time that works for everyone, so as Pepper and Kate file in (20 minutes early), we all keep an eye on the clock, waiting for the others to arrive. 
‘’Have you seen the pictures yet?’’ Kate asks me as we stand at the kitchen counter, pulling out empty plates, bowls and sets of cutlery to lay the table with. I shrug, ‘’Wanda doesn’t take papers or magazines, and she told me not to bother looking for it online. I think she’s got some weird experience with the press or something.’’ Kate gives me a wide-eyed look of understanding. ‘’They’re ruthless, they print really nasty things sometimes, she’s probably just trying to protect you.’’ I nod, unconcerned, ‘’yeah, probably.’’ I know tabloids have a way of painting people in the worst light possible, but Wanda isn’t that famous. It’s not like she’s an A-list celebrity, so I’m quite sure nobody is going to bother with me.
We each take a stack of plates, and a handful of cutlery to carry into the dining room and when I push through the door with my shoulder, I see that Agatha has joined the group. I didn’t hear the front door open, so she must have come in through the back. She's sitting together with Wanda and Pepper, leaning back in her chair, rolling her eyes at something the two other women are saying to her, their voices muddling together. 
I don't quite catch what the conversation is about, but Kate is quick to turn to Pepper after we deposit the dishes on the scrubbed wooden table. "What was that about a hotel?" She asks, strolling over to seat herself comfortably in Pepper's lap. Their limbs fit together perfectly, in a way you wouldn’t assume when you see them standing next to each other. I envy the easy way Kate drapes herself over Pepper, with not a care in the world. My eyes linger for a short while on their intertwined fingers, but my attention is quickly drawn back to the topic at hand. My brows knit together in confusion at the mention of a hotel. I don’t understand why Pepper would need a hotel, as she isn’t due for a holiday yet. 
"Are you going on holiday?" I ask casually, my curious side getting the better of me. I direct my question at Pepper, but it's Wanda who answers me, her voice soothing and casual, "no, honey, it's a work trip. Pepper and I are both going, and we need to book the hotel soon." 
Kate’s eyes widen in alarm, and I watch as her hand tightens around Pepper's fingers. She gives her a reproachful look, "you didn't tell me you’re going away." Pepper looks genuinely sorry as she lays a comforting hand on Kate’s back, cradling her close. I turn to look at Wanda, my eyes asking the same question of her. You didn't tell me you’re going away. 
"The conference was supposed to be in town, but the venue cancelled at the last minute," Pepper says, "the closest place we could find is a four-hour drive and there's no way we can travel 8 hours every day." It's fair, I know it is, but still my heart contracts painfully in my chest. ‘’I can come, right?’’ Kate asks, her tone hopeful and cheery, ‘’we haven’t been on holiday in ages.’’ Pepper for her part really does look sorry when she has to disappoint her. ‘’Honey, you know your mother will also be there, I don’t want you so near her for that long.’’ Kate’s face crumples, and she begins to cry softly, resting her head against Pepper’s as her shoulders shake. I ball my hands into fists, staving off the tears, wishing I could do the same.  
I watch as Pepper cradles her close to her, holding her head tightly to her chest, rocking slightly as she whispers words I can’t make out. I can feel tears prickling at the back of my eyes, knowing already what’s to come. Wanda holds her hand out to me, inviting me into a hug. "It's only five days, dove," she says, holding me tightly, whispering, "You’ll be fine, won’t you? I bet you’ll enjoy a nice little break.’’ 
I want to crumple like Kate, be shushed by Wanda like Pepper is doing for Kate. But Wanda thinks I'm stronger than that, that five days apart is no big deal. And it is, of course it’s not a big deal. The rational part of me knows that there is nothing odd about this, it’s completely normal. So why then does it feel like my chest has been hollowed out?
Wanda doesn't expect me to cry. So, I force myself to smile at her. "Of course," I say with a laugh, my voice straining against the tears that threaten to escape from me, "it's only five days." 
***  
As soon as the opportunity arises, I escape to the kitchen for a while, trying to find something useful to do. Wanda hired a catering company to take care of the food, so I can't cook, or pretend to fuss with the food that's cooking in the oven, or sitting covered on the counter. 
I decide that wine is my best option, and I open the wine cooler, to inspect the available bottles. I slide my hand over the cool bottlenecks, feeling the condensation dampen my fingers. Truth be told, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't drink wine. So, I just take out the bottles one by one, and try to judge them on their appearance. I discount the white ones, simply because red wine looks more dramatic. The labels aren't very exciting, though, so this really doesn't help me to narrow it down. 
"Are you contemplating alcoholism?"  
Agatha's sudden appearance startles me so much that the bottle of Argentinean Malbec threatens to slip from my fingers, but thankfully I manage to regain my grasp on the thin neck before it can crash to the ground. My heart pounds in my chest, and I quickly replace the bottle, letting out my breath in a shaky puff. Agatha raises an eyebrow at me, "guilty conscience, hon?"  
"Not a fan of people sneaking up on me, actually," I say, scowling as I close the door to the wine cooler. Agatha snorts, "I wasn't sneaking, I was looking for you."  
"What for?"  
"You tell me, you get your feelings hurt and next thing I know you look like you're turning to the bottle."  
I’ve only known Agatha for a very short while, but after my conversation with her at the gala, I’m not surprised in the slightest that she noticed I’m upset. I actually think it’s pretty comical, and want to laugh at her remark, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I think she's funny. So I try very hard to make it look like I'm annoyed, and I keep my lips resolutely sealed.  
"I thought you didn't drink?"  
"I drink," I say evasively, now perusing a rack of champagne next to the wine cooler.  
"Wanda said that you had your first drink in 10 years at the gala." I roll my eyes, "three years, actually. And so what? I fancy another one now." 
Agatha moves over to lean against the kitchen counter, looking at me over the lenses of her glasses. "You know I have great connections with Alcoholics Anonymous, do you want me to give you their number?"  
From the rack, I pull a bottle of Dom Pérignon, scanning the label like I know what I'm doing. "What are you actually here for? Because I think we both know I'm not looking to start a life of alcohol abuse." I keep my eyes glued to the label as I speak, turning it over and reading every word twice, anything so I won't have to look at her. But Agatha notices, of course she does.  
"I see you're avoiding making eye-contact with me," she says, in that simple way she has of saying things. Just stating a truth, and waiting for me to explain myself. I don't, I just shrug, "it's not a crime, is it?" 
‘’No,’’ she says airily, ‘’but I think it’s essential in order for a person to open up and allow themselves to be vulnerable. If you avoid eye-contact, you’re avoiding your own vulnerability.’’ This makes me falter, and I stammer a bit trying to find an adequate response, but Agatha ignores me, her eyes suddenly serious as she asks, "what do you think of Wanda having to go away for a business trip?"  
Out of spite, I make sure to look Agatha dead in her eyes, but I regret it almost instantly. She's looking at me in that way again, like she can already see everything that's playing in my head, and she's just waiting for me to confirm her theories. "It's pretty normal for her to take business trips several times a year."  
Agatha's eyes change, a look of reprove evident in her gaze. "I think you know that isn't what I was asking you." Her dissatisfaction with my answer stings, and not for the first time, I'm seized with a strange desire to tell her everything I'm worrying about. As if in doing so I wouldn't have to face her disapproval again. I try to keep myself composed, under her scrutinizing gaze. "It's only five days, Wanda said it's not a big deal." Agatha cocks her head to one side, "did she? I don't recall her saying that."
I'm agitated now, provoked by the anxiety from the conversation in the dining room, and now by Agatha prying into this situation. "But she meant it,’’ I say, a little too loudly, my voice cracking just a bit. ‘’Ah,’’ Agatha mutters, taking off her glasses, the end of one ear resting against her lips, ‘’so that’s what you’re about.’’ This makes precisely no sense to me, but Agatha doesn’t seem bothered to explain what she meant. She only smiles at me, the kind of encouraging smile I imagine her giving a client. ‘’You’re ashamed,’’ she says simply, as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world.  
‘’I beg your pardon?’’ Agatha ignores me again, which appears to be becoming a habit, and presses on with a question of her own, ‘’Wanda didn’t actually say that it wasn’t a big deal, did she? So why do you think she meant to say it?’’ My hands are beginning to shake, and I have to put the bottle of champagne down. ‘’I don’t know, she just asked me to deal with it.’’ I mumble, turning away from Agatha, so I don’t have to look at her anymore. Behind me, I hear her hum, mulling my statement over in her head. ‘’Remember what I said about eye contact, hon?’’  
With a herculean effort, I turn around again, resting my back against the counter, slowly raising my eyes to look back up at her. She gives me a smile for my efforts. “Good job, hon,’’ she says in a higher pitched voice than I have heard from her so far. It feels somehow both condescending and rewarding. It’s the kind of tone you’d use when training a puppy, big exaggerate sounds that they can recognize, so they know when they’ve done something right. I want to hear her say it again.  
"How did it make you feel when Kate began to cry?’’ she asks, her glasses dangling from her fingers. ‘’I don’t know, sad, I guess?’’ Agatha hums again, ‘’Sad because she was upset, or sad because you felt like you weren’t allowed to show the same level of emotion?’’  
This throws me a bit, and I stutter out several uh’s and uhm’s before I can form a proper reply. ‘’I didn’t say that I wasn’t allowed to cry,’’ I say defensively. ‘’No, you didn’t. But you wanted to cry too, didn’t you?’’ 
‘’Why does that matter?’’ I say, my old agitation flaring up again. I feel my face heating up, and I’m profoundly uncomfortable under Agatha’s scrutiny. I don’t like that she knows these things about me. It frightens me that she can watch me and tell me exactly what goes on in my head. It feels invasive.  
‘’If it doesn’t matter, answer my question.’’ 
‘’Fine,’’ I snap, much more aggressively than I had intended. ‘’I am upset, and I did want to cry, but that doesn’t matter anymore because it’s settled now.’’ Agatha’s brows furrow at my tone, but she doesn’t chide me for it. ‘’Do you really believe that?’’ she asks in a tone that suggests that she knows I’m lying. ‘’Wanda is going, and no amount of whining is going to change that.’’ She pulls a face of surprise, but I know enough to know by now that she isn’t surprised by this. I’m confirming what she’s known all along. ‘’Is that how you see the expression of your emotions? As whining?’’ 
‘’That’s not what I said.’’ Agatha smiles a devious smile. ‘’No, but you meant it,’’ she says, parroting my own words back at me. My shoulders slump forward a bit, my body wanting to shrink in on itself, to hide me from Agatha. ‘’Hon,’’ she says gently, laying a warm hand on my shoulder, ‘’I’m not doing this to be mean, I’m trying to help you. Be honest with me, and let me help you make it better.’’ I’m tired of this back and forth already, and the rational part of me knows that she’s right, Agatha isn’t doing this to antagonize me, so I sigh and nod. ‘’I just don’t want Wanda to think I’m too needy.’’ 
‘’And why is that?’’ she says, her tone encouraging, trying to coax me out of my shell. ‘’I’m afraid she won’t like me anymore if she knows how much I need her.’’ Agatha allows a silence to fall, stretching out painfully long. I think she’s waiting for me to say something, let loose more of my thoughts, but I don’t want to. Not when I’m not being prompted to, anyway.  
‘’Have you felt that before?’’ she finally asks, after what feels like an eternity, ‘’That you couldn’t let someone know you needed them?’’ 
The answer is out of my mouth before I can stop myself. ‘’Yes.’’ I say, without even thinking about it. Something like triumph glitters in Agatha’s eyes, ‘’Why don’t you tell me about that, hon?’’ I shake my head dismissively, ‘’I don’t want to talk about it.’’ 
‘’You don’t have to give details, just give me a rough idea.’’ I shrug, my eyes finding the floor again. ‘’I don’t know, this is just so personal. I’m not your client.’’ Agatha chuckles, ‘’aren’t you?’’ She takes a step back from the counter and begins pulling open drawers, she stops when she opens the miscellaneous drawer, where we keep bits and pieces that don’t belong anywhere else. She fishes out a notepad that I’ve been using to write grocery lists on, and that Wanda uses to write little notes to me or the housekeeper. She produces a pen from her pocket and throws the notepad down on the counter, clicks the pen open, and begins to take notes. 
She replaces her glasses carefully on the edge of her nose, writing down words that I can’t make out from here. A silence lingers for a while, and whilst Agatha seems perfectly at ease, I feel more and more disconcerted with every second that passes by. After a while, she looks up at me, her glasses sitting slightly crooked on her nose. ‘’So, are you going to accept that you need my help, or are you going to run yourself into the ground? The choice is all yours, toots.’’  
This isn’t rejection, quite the opposite, but there’s a suggestion of it in her tone, and it makes me recoil. Her approval earlier felt so warm, enveloping me like a blanket, shutting out the cold. I feel ridiculous for wanting this from her, when I could get it somewhere else. I could go back to work, and fall back into the steady rhythm of misery, that nonetheless feeds that ugly part of me that wants to be praised for my actions.  
For a second I feel the sensation of déjà vu, like I’ve done this exact thing before, stood in this spot together with Agatha. I know I haven’t, of course. Just a trick of the mind. But I know I’ve been here before, not in this kitchen, with this woman, but in different places, with other women. My neighbour, my aunt, several teachers, a doctor, and then me, wanting nothing more than to please, to say or do the right thing, so that they would like me and keep me around. Agatha waves a hand in front of my eye-line, and I realize I’ve been staring off into the distance. I shake my head slightly, clearing the foggy thoughts from my mind. ‘’Well?’’ she asks, her eyebrows raised, ‘’penny for your thoughts, hon.’’ 
‘’Kate used to be your client, right?’’ She’s surprised by my question, but she still answers me. ‘’A couple of years ago, yes.’’  
‘’What did you do to help her?’’ Agatha smiles, and it’s slightly condescending, like I’m a child asking her why the grass is green. ‘’Trade secret, baby. It’s confidential.’’ I try to brush past the pet name, pushing her for more answers. ‘’At the gala, Mrs. Bishop said that thing to you,’’ I say with a slight flush creeping into my cheeks, ‘’about, uhm, you know- The mother thing.’’ Agatha snorts, shaking her head at me. ‘’Right, what was it again? Something about telling vulnerable girls to go fuck their mothers, I think.’’ Now she doesn’t have her glasses in hand anymore, she takes to playing with her pen, spinning it around in her hands. The plastic of the pen makes soft ticking noises as it makes contact with the many rings on her fingers.  
‘’Eleanor Bishop doesn’t know the first thing about my line of work, and not just that, she has no clue who her daughter truly is. She knows that I encouraged both her relationship and her dynamic with Pepper, and unfortunately, she found out a few too many details about the workings of it all. She drew her own conclusions, and as a result, she spouts nonsense like that.’’ 
‘’Oh,’’ I say, ‘’so, she was lying? I mean, you didn’t-‘’ I trail off awkwardly, and Agatha laughs, the sound of echoing through the kitchen. ‘’What? Tell her she wants to fuck her mother? No, I didn’t.’’ My face heats up, and I scramble for my words, ‘’N-no I didn’t, that’s not what I-‘’ But Agatha waves it away dismissively. ‘’Eleanor Bishop is upset, because she realized that she messed her kid up, and she’s looking for everything she couldn’t get from her mother, somewhere else. Kate is making up for lost time, and her mother can’t accept that she failed her child.’’
Unbidden, the image of my own mother floats up into my mind's eye, and the little voice in my head taunts me when the similarities in our situation become so clear to me. I think she can sense my discomfort, and the shift in energy, because she shrugs it off, ‘’never mind all of that, if you want the details of Kate’s treatment plan, you’re going to have to ask her for consent because I’m not in the business of HIPAA violations.’’ 
‘’O-okay.’’ I manage weakly.  ‘’That’s later,’’ she says, her demeanour shifting as she looks back down at the notepad full of her scribbles, ‘’now I’d like to circle back to that question I asked you. Someone made you feel like you couldn’t let them know you needed them. Who made you feel that way, and why?’’ 
‘’Uhm,’’ I mutter, forcing myself once again to make eye contact with Agatha, ‘’my mother.’’ I watch as her eyebrow twitches slightly, and her eyes light up as though she just struck gold. ‘’You needed her, as all children need her mothers,’’ she says, ‘’but she didn’t fulfil those needs?’’ Her voice is sweet as honey, asking a question to which she already knows the answer.
I begin to pick at the skin around my palm, digging my nails in hard to prevent myself from crying. ‘’My mother didn’t care for me like mothers are supposed to,’’ I say, ‘’I had to care for her a lot of the time, support her emotionally, I mean.’’ Agatha nods her understanding, encouraging me to continue. ‘’I needed her when I was little, and after that too sometimes. But I never felt like I could tell her that, because I was supposed to be the strong one.’’ 
Her pen flies over the page as I speak, and I try to follow it, but can’t make any sense of it. She isn’t writing down my words, but that’s as much as I can tell. She’s drawing arrows too, and little stars next to sentences. She doesn’t say things that my old therapist would have said, like ‘that’s rough’, or ‘that must have been hard on you’. She just lays down her pen, nodding her head solemnly.  ‘’What were you feeling when Pepper comforted Kate as she cried?’’ 
The question throws me a bit, because my mind had wandered off into the dark depths of my past. I bring myself back to that moment in the dining room, standing there watching Kate fall apart. I shift my weight nervously from foot to foot, and shrug. 
"Be honest, tell me how you felt."  
"Envious." 
‘’Ah,’’ Agatha says softly, ‘’You wanted Wanda to do the same for you?’’ 
My nails dig harder into my palm, as tears threaten to spill from my eyes and fall down my cheeks. ‘’Pepper just saw straight away how upset Kate was, and she comforted her. I wanted that too.’’ 
‘’You want Wanda to look after you, like Pepper looks after Kate?’’ 
‘’I guess,’’ I say, acting like I wouldn’t give the world to be comforted by Wanda right now. I think back to my first night at the house, and how gentle and kind she was then. She held me as I cried, and rocked me to sleep. I wonder what it would take for her to do that again.  
Agatha hums thoughtfully, ‘’that dynamic didn’t spring up out of nowhere, you understand that, don’t you? It takes time and trust, and most importantly honesty and openness.’’ This sounds so much like actual advice, that the surprise must be evident on my face, because Agatha snorts, ‘’you know I have my PhD in psychology, don’t you? I can say half decent things when I bother to.’’ She shakes her head at me, but I haven’t yet wiped the smirk from her face.  
‘’Pepper didn’t spot that Kate was upset out of nowhere, it was communicated to her when Kate began to cry, Pepper picked up that cue, and was then able to comfort her. It’s about communication and mutual understanding.’’ Agatha removes her glasses again, her gaze suddenly stern, ‘’and given that you’re standing here contemplating getting drunk, rather than talking to Wanda, that indicates to me that you have a long way to go in that department.’’ 
*** 
Our impromptu therapy session comes to an end when Wanda slips in through the half open kitchen door to announce Maria’s arrival. She doesn’t seem surprised in the slightest at Agatha’s presence, and merely gives my hand a little squeeze as she leads me out of the kitchen and to the dinner table. All seats, barring one, are filled, and I know, even without anyone telling me so, that that seat was meant for Natasha Romanoff. Opposite me, Kate looks to have calmed down mostly, and she’s contentedly nibbling on some bread as she listens to Pepper gloat about our achievement. Her cheeks are red now, though, and I notice her squirming in her seat, but quickly my attention is diverted by Pepper showing the others the magazine covers featuring mine and Wanda’s picture.  
I have a look, too, and I’m surprisingly pleased at how the photographs turned out. Our backseat kiss genuinely looks like it could have been an accident, our edges are blurred, making it look like it was hastily taken. We’re pressed impossibly close to one another, the flush in my cheeks clear, even in the fuzzy picture, the sight of this brings me right back to that moment. Under the table, Wanda takes hold of my thigh, squeezing slightly. ‘’You make a handsome pair,’’ Maria says, inclining her head towards us with a smile. Wanda nudges me playfully with her elbow, ‘’we do, don’t we, honey?’’  
Maria snorts, ‘’you could’ve fooled me.’’ 
‘’Actually, that’s why I asked you all to come over today,’’ Wanda says, making good use of the segue provided by Maria, ‘’we may or may not have been keeping a secret from you.’’ Even with so little to go on, the reaction from the room is instantaneous. Kate gasps hugely, and Agatha slumps back in her chair with triumph, a gloating look on her face. ‘’I knew it,’’ she says, with a shit-eating grin, ‘’cough up, Hill.’’ Maria curses, slamming her fist hard against the wooden table, ‘’oh come on! You couldn’t have waited two more weeks?’’  
I look between the two women with some confusion, trying to figure out what exactly they’re talking about. Maria fishes a £50 note out of her pocket, and slides it across the table with a sour look. ‘’You took a bet on our relationship?’’ I say indignantly, but all the women at the table, including Maria, merely laugh at me. ‘’For the record, I knew before you had even signed that damned contract that this would happen.’’ Pepper states, pointing her finger around at everyone, ‘’I called this.’’ 
 ‘’I’m sorry Wands,’’ Agatha says, as she pockets the money, ‘’it was too good of an opportunity to let go. I think all of us knew this was bound to happen.’’ She’s clearly right, because it seems that everyone had been expecting for us to make the announcement soon. Even with the anxiety about Wanda’s trip weighing me down, I feel slightly comforted by the knowledge that Wanda’s friends are accepting of us, and approving of me. They treat me like one of their own, and have done so since the very first moment. And once the moment of shock has passed, everyone goes back to their regular conversations. The normalcy of it all grounds me somewhat, even as my stomach twists and turns as I think over Wanda’s upcoming trip.
*** 
The dinner is delicious, the wine even more so. Still, my appetite is minimal. Even with the good conversation, and the nice company, my mood is dampened by the thought of Wanda’s departure. I nibble at my meal, pushing it around a little with my fork. I compensate for my lack of enthusiasm for the food by gulping down the wine. It goes straight to my head. Not in the way hard liquor does, this feels different somehow. My head swims, and I feel the buzz, but there’s none of the horrible nausea that comes with drinking cheap vodka.  
Wanda notices that I don’t make much of a dent in my dinner, and she places a strong hand on my thigh, leaning in to whisper to me, asking me if I’m feeling alright. Seated at the head of the table, Agatha is holding court, loudly telling a lewd story involving a student, several board members and a cat o' nine tails whip.  ‘’Of course,’’ I lie, with a smile, and I notice that it’s a bit harder to pull off than I am used to. In the before times, as I now have come to think of them, I told all sorts of lies all the time, with no issue whatsoever. Yes, I slept well. Yes, I ate my dinner. No, this project isn’t overwhelming. No, I don’t need more time to work on it. Lying came as easily to me as breathing, and the difficulty I have now, however slight, unsettles me.  
Wanda frowns a bit, looking down at my hardly touched plate, and she opens her mouth to speak, but I am saved from her inquiries by the sound of breaking glass. I start, almost threatening to upset my own wine glass, but I save it in the nick of time. Across the table from me, Kate’s face is red, and a slight shimmer of tears is visible in her eyes once more. Her glass lies broken on the ground, the little orange juice that was in it, splattered all over the floor. Pepper’s hand flies to the ring of her collar, yanking her harshly towards her.  
‘’Uh oh…’’ Agatha sing songs, a cruel smile on her face, ‘’you should house train your pets Pepper.’’ If looks could kill, Agatha would be decomposing where she sits. Ever dignified, however, Pepper ignores her, instead choosing to hiss some words to Kate that I can’t make out. Kate is still squirming, tears steadily dripping down her face. It doesn’t shock me, but I’m surprised to see them interact like this. Until now, I’ve never witnessed an altercation between them, and it’s strange to hear the venom in Pepper’s voice when she grabs Kate harshly by the face, to turn her head in our direction. 
‘’Now apologize to miss Wanda for breaking her pretty glass.’’ Kate whines, and she struggles in Pepper’s grasp, but she manages to stutter out a weak, ‘’I- I’m sorry, muh-miss Wanda.’’  Wanda for her part takes it well, she squeezes my thigh slightly before she speaks, her voice gentle and reassuring, ‘’that’s alright Katie, thank you for apologizing. Are you going to be a good girl and clean it up?’’ 
Something inside me jumps at her words, and I suddenly wish it were me in Kate’s position. Across the table, I watch as Pepper’s fingers move from her face, where they were squishing Kate’s cheeks together, back to her collar, pulling her in so close that only she can make out her partner’s words. My eyes drift to Pepper’s lap, where her phone lies open on a screen that shows something like sound waves. I stare at it for a while, unsure of what I’m looking at, but when Pepper’s finger casually slides over the screen to increase the waves, and Kate lets out a high-pitched noise of surprise, I realize what’s going on. I feel the heat bloom in my face, and I look away quickly from the pair, trying to ignore Wanda’s warm hand on my thigh, and the strange feelings swirling in my gut. In my haste to look anywhere but the scene in front of me, I accidentally make eye contact with Agatha, who sits at the head of the table, leaning back in her chair, grinning at me from over the rim of her glasses. She raises an eyebrow at me, and I can just imagine her voice as though she were actually speaking to me. 
Enjoying the show, hon?’
*** 
Under Pepper’s watchful gaze, Kate sweeps up the broken glass and mops the floor to clear it from the orange juice. She’s not crying anymore, but she’s prone to having fits of uncontrollable shaking, whenever Pepper plays with the waves on her phone. Everyone at the table continues their conversations, acting like this is the most normal thing in the world to them. And maybe it is. 
‘’Are you okay?’’ Wanda whispers to me, ‘’I know it’s a lot, is that why you’re having a bit of a hard time tonight?’’ I seize this opportunity with both hands, ‘’Yes,’’ I whisper back, watching as Kate clambers into Pepper’s lap, having just finished cleaning up her mess, ‘’it’s okay though, I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.’’  
She seems satisfied with this explanation, and she throws an arm over my shoulders, reclining in her seat. Kate has her face buried in the crook of Pepper’s neck, and the conversation falls silent, just in time for us to her Kate mumble something against Pepper’s skin. ‘’I’m sorry mommy.’’ 
It feels like a current of electricity runs through my body at the sound of that word, and suddenly the room has become uncomfortably hot. I’m hyper aware of Wanda’s arm around my shoulders, and I know for certain that if I were to turn my head, Agatha would be right there staring at me. I don’t give her the satisfaction, so I resolutely stare straight ahead.  ‘’Don’t mind her,’’ Pepper says airily to the room at large, ‘’she’s fussy today’’ and then, turning to Kate, ‘’aren’t you, puppy?’’  
Kate seems much more relaxed now, her tears are gone, her sniffles replaced with soft moans and whines. She nods blearily, her hands pawing slightly at Pepper’s blouse. ‘’Someone’s impatient.’’ Maria laughs, and she stands up to fetch a simple black bag sitting on an ottoman in the corner of the room. I recognize it as the bag Pepper brought over today. She throws it underhanded to Pepper, who surprisingly catches it. ‘’Give us some entertainment, won’t you? It’s been ages.’’ Pepper gives her an annoyed look, ‘’she broke a glass, Hill. I know you don’t understand the concept of discipline, but she can’t be rewarded for that.’’  
‘’Who said it’ll be a reward?’’ Agatha cuts in, shoving her chair back loudly and strolling over to where Pepper sits holding the bag. She reaches in, fishing out a pretty purple toy with a suction cup. She leans down to attach it to the floor, before heading back to her seat. ‘’She can fuck herself on that, we all know she won’t be able to cum from just that.’’ Kate’s eyes go wide, and she whines, both of her hands clutching at Pepper’s blouse now. ‘’No, no, no, no. Mommy, I’m sorry,’’ she cries, ‘’you promised, you said I could.’’  But Pepper doesn’t relent, merely giving her a stern look, ‘’maybe later, if you’re a good girl for us now, okay puppy?’’ 
Maria helps Pepper to extract the girl from her, guiding her to the floor, where they squat on either side of her to manoeuvre her to her knees. Once she’s down, Maria returns to her seat, keeping a respectful distance. From my position, I can’t see everything that’s happening, but I watch as Pepper reaches her hand up Kate’s skirt and whispers some words to her that I can’t hear. Kate puts her hands on Pepper’s shoulders to steady herself, there’s a wet sucking noise that makes even the tips of my ears feel hot, and then the quiet room is filled with a buzzing noise. I feel rather light-headed as I watch Maria helpfully turn down the waves on Pepper’s phone, and the vibrations stop instantly.  
‘’Be a good girl and fuck yourself on that, puppy.’’ Pepper says, petting Kate’s hair affectionately, ‘’you heard miss Maria, they want a show.’’ There’s a smacking noise, and I assume Pepper tapped Kate on her ass, because she makes a startled noise, and moves into action almost instantly. She shuffles on her knees, holding on to Pepper for support, before lowering herself down. I can only imagine what is going on beyond my line of sight, but Kate lets out a low moan of relief, that almost fills in the blanks on the picture in my head. I can almost see the purple silicone between her thighs. Pepper raises herself up again, slipping a small black toy, shining with slick, into the pocket of her trousers. ‘’That’s a good girl, puppy.’’ 
*** 
My head swims, either from the alcohol, Wanda's ever burning grip on my thigh, or Kate's increasingly loud moans. Maria, Pepper and Agatha are egging Kate on, making lewd comments about her body, and vulgar remarks about everything they could be doing to her if only she had been a good girl. Kate's face is red and streaked with tears that are by now dripping down her chin. Whilst she had started off moving slowly, her face contorted as though the toy was almost painful, she now sets a punishing pace, and she pants with the effort of it. 
 ''It's such a shame that you've forgotten how to behave, Katie.'' Agatha remarks with a dark smile, ''it's been so long since you kept my pretty cock warm.'' In response to this, Kate lets out a tortured sound, ''no, no, no, no, no...'' She whines, turning her eyes upward to look alternately at Pepper and then at Agatha. ''Please- Please,'' she huffs, ''you promised, you said I could, I've been good all week.'' 
My heart beats at four times its normal speed, and I can't help but keep myself focused on Kate as she bobs up and down on the toy. The revelation that Agatha has slept with Kate before doesn't shock me, as it probably should, but the thought that Pepper would share her is astounding to me.  
''Mommy, please,'' Kate whines again, fingers grabbing at Pepper's white trouser legs, ''I'll be so good, please, please I want to sit on daddy’s lap.'' If Pepper is surprised at that title for Agatha, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she rolls her eyes, grabbing a fistful of Kate's hair, yanking her upright, ''you're a desperate little cock whore lately, aren't you?'' With a shove, she's pushed in the direction of Agatha, who looks as though Christmas has come early.  My throat feels rather dry, and I take a shaky gulp of my wine. Wanda, who's been silent until now, speaks up, ''you can't blame her for wanting Agatha, now can you Pepper? I think we've all fallen victim to her charm at some point.''  
My head feels much too foggy to even begin to try to understand what this means, so I just decide to let it go for now. Wanda clearly feels more confident, now that everyone is busy watching this display, and she leans down slightly to press a kiss to my cheek, her hand dropping back to my thigh and skirting dangerously close the apex of my thighs. Quite suddenly, I'm uncomfortably aware of the throbbing sensation between my legs.  
I look around for a distraction, for something that could help me turn these feelings around, something dull to stare at, tiles to count. But my wandering eye is drawn to Agatha, who is beckoning Kate over to her. I wait for something to happen, for someone to search through the black bag again and produce another toy. But, nothing of the sort happens, Kate merely lowers herself obediently in between Agatha's spread legs.  
''I told you to house-train your pets, Peps,'' Agatha says smugly, her nimble fingers moving to undo the zip of her trousers. I feel as though I might faint any moment now. ''How many years has it been now? Four? Five?'' her fingers dig in the opening of her zip, grasping at something I can't see, ''and she still remembers my training.''  
From the gap she pulls another toy, also purple, but short and thick, and more realistic in looks. The thought of Agatha walking around with that hidden all evening makes my head spin, and my mouth water. Kate doesn't need instructions, and simply leans down to take Agatha in her mouth. With a smirk, the older woman collects all of Kate's hair to keep it away from her mouth. I have to breathe in through my nose and let my breath out through my mouth in order to calm my racing heart somewhat. But it's difficult when Maria talks about how Kate ''sucks cock like a champ'' and when Pepper is urging Agatha to ''make her choke on it'' 
 Agatha seems to like Pepper's suggestion, because a few times she snaps her hips up sharply, and in response Kate makes a grotesque gagging noise, saliva dribbling from her chin to her chest. Even through all of this, I manage to keep it together, manage to ignore the way Agatha makes conversation with Maria as if Kate isn't sucking her off under the table.  
But when after a few long minutes, Agatha hauls Kate up to sit in her lap, my brain seems to short-circuit. Kate lets out a contented sigh of relief, but this is only short-lived because the second she tries to lift herself up to fuck herself on it, Agatha stops her. Kate's lower lip trembles, and I'm sure she's going to put up a fight, but she remains silent. ''See?'' Agatha gloats, ''you can be a good girl. Go on, grind on my cock, Katie.''  She flips up Kate's skirt to reveal her cunt, soaking wet and swollen. My clit twitches and throbs, and I grasp at Wanda's hand, my fingers clutching hers desperately. I can't take my eyes off of her, and all I can think is why her, and not me? 
Images of me in Kate's position flood my mind. I want Wanda to reach out and touch me, in front of everyone here, I don't care. I just need this ache to stop, but I don't know how to ask for it. Kate is getting desperate now, and I like to imagine that she's letting out my frustration for me. At least she can be loud, I have to sit here quietly.  
She's struggling in Agatha's grasp, but the older woman holds her firmly in place. ''Please, please, please-'' she babbles, and I'm not sure who she's asking. ''Please what?'' Pepper answers. Kate's whole body trembles as Pepper gets up, moving to stand in front of Kate seated on Agatha's lap I can feel my own wetness, and I'm sure that if I were to touch myself now, my fingers would be covered in my own slick. My hands are sweaty, and my legs are shaking.  
Pepper’s fingers find their home around Kate’s throat, and they both smile. Kate looks relieved, almost. ‘’Please take care of me mommy, I need- I need…’’ It comes out slightly garbled, but I can still make out the words. ‘’It’s okay baby, let’s empty that pretty head of yours.’’
I’m highly conscious of Wanda next to me, and I wonder what she thinks of this. Does she want this like I want this? 
I wish this were us. 
I wish I could ask her to take care of me. 
When Kate comes, Agatha’s eyes find mine again, and I can almost hear her speaking to me, gloating and goading. I can almost feel her hands on my waist, just as they are on Kate’s. You wish this was you, don’t you?
The room feels much too hot, and I feel too exposed. My chair makes a loud scraping noise when I push it back, startling everyone except for Pepper and Kate, who seem to be in a world of their own.
Wanda rises to follow me, but I hear Agatha calling her to stay, and to let me go.
***
When I burst into the bedroom, where the windows have been open all evening, I notice how clammy I feel. My mouth is dry and tacky, the world spinning slightly on its axis. Maybe I had a little bit too much wine. But what else was I supposed to? All evening I’ve been trying to push Wanda’s trip from my mind, but I feel the horrible, twisted sadness creeping in again. My chest feels hollowed out, empty and gaping. I blame Agatha and her awful questions. 
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about this, I don’t want to cry, but I can feel it in my throat and behind my eyes. I swallow it back. I’m better than that, surely. I lower myself onto the edge of the bed on shaking arms. I want comfort, I want Wanda. But I can’t have her, I don’t know how to ask for this. I don’t even know what I want to ask for. What do I even want her to do? Fuck the sadness out of me? Maybe that idea isn’t half bad. At least then I won’t have to think about this. Maybe that’s why Kate wanted to do all of that today, maybe she just knows how to regulate her emotions better than I do. 
Almost mechanically, I push myself back up, and make my way to the second bedroom, that once was meant to be mine. I pull out the tote bag that I had wedged between the headboard and the wall on my first day at the house. My toy doesn’t look like Kate’s, but it has a suction cup just like hers. This will do. 
With trembling hands, I suction the toy to the smooth tiles of the bathroom floor. I make sure it's close enough to the bath, so I can drape my upper body over that when I inevitably lose the strength in my arms to keep myself upright. Hastily I slide my underwear down my legs, kicking them away into the corner and I sink down onto my knees. The tiles are hard and cold, and it's somewhat painful to kneel there. I think it's wonderful. 
I'm wet all down my thighs, and yet I know I haven't been prepped properly. I know this will hurt for a while, but I welcome the pain. The lubricant spreads messily over my hand, cold and slick, as I wipe it off on the toy. Gingerly, I lower myself down over it, mewling as the cold head slips and slides over my heated clit. When I position the head over my entrance I realize just how unprepared I am for this, but I can't find it in myself to care, if I don't get this inside me now I feel as though I might collapse in on myself. 
The stretch is significant, but it still slides in easily thanks to the combined wetness of my arousal and the lubricant. Just the head rests inside, and I have to breathe through the stinging pain. It doesn't hurt too much for me to continue, so I try to relax and bounce myself up and down a bit. After a few moments I feel able to take some more of the length, though it still stings. The head now rests comfortably against that one delicious spot inside of me, and I have to bite back a moan. How can something feel so uncomfortable, and yet so wonderful at the same time? 
It takes only a few minutes for my body to adjust, and for the stinging to fade away into nothingness. Now all I feel is a primal, deep sort of need. My insides twist and squirm, begging for more, begging for some kind of relief, not just of the physical kind. The rhythm I establish is nothing short of messy, and it’s all wrong. I can’t get the pacing right, and that marvellous feeling of bottoming out on a toy is nowhere to be found. It feels good, but not good enough. Frustrated tears pool in my eyes, so thick and heavy they actually fall, dripping all the way down my chin onto my chest. After fifteen minutes I am half sobbing, half moaning, delirious from an ache I can’t satisfy. I need more, I need more, I need- I need-
When Wanda finds me, she looks surprised. Her mouth open and rounded into a perfect little oh. I can’t stop myself, not even with Wanda here. It aches so bad, and I can’t make it go away, no matter how much I try. I don’t want to think about how I must look to her now, red-faced and sobbing, still dressed, fucking myself on her bathroom floor. She doesn’t give me time to consider it. She is on her knees in front of me in a split second, her hands smoothing my hair away from my sweaty face. ‘’What do you need?’’ she asks, so earnestly I would cry, if I wasn’t crying already. 
‘’Please, please, please, please.’’ 
I hang my head, to let it rest on her shoulder, breathing in her perfume as I take shuddering breaths in between each word. ‘’I need- need- you, please, I can’t- I can’t.’’ Wanda’s hands grasp my hips, trying to slow my movement, and I almost scream in utter frustration. ‘’No, no, no, puh-lease,’’ is all I can get out, before she shushes me. ‘’Honey, take a deep breath, and tell me what you need, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.’’ 
I force myself to stay still, to breathe deeply in, and out, and again. Until my body relaxes somewhat into Wanda. ‘’There you go, good girl,’’ she coos, reigniting the heat in my belly once more. ‘’I can’t do it right,’’ I whine into her neck, my fingers grasping at her arms, ‘’I can’t feel and think at the same time, and I can’t get it to feel right.’’ 
She smooths a soothing hand down my back, and I can feel her smile into my hair. ‘’It’s okay, baby. Did seeing Katie like that get you excited?’’ I whimper, and nod, too far gone to even be ashamed of admitting it. She guides me off of the toy, ignoring my whines, and removing the toy from the tiles. ‘’It made me excited too, made me want you just like Agatha was having her, would you like that, sweet girl?’’ She helps me to my feet with my hands in hers, and just for this moment, I decide, it doesn’t matter. She has admitted to me, so now I may admit to her. Just for tonight.  ‘’Please, I need you so badly.’’ I whisper, my eyes downcast to the blueish bathroom tiles, my fingers grasping tightly onto hers. 
Wanda has smiled at me in a thousand different ways. She has a smile for everything, for an exceptionally well performing report, for over hours at work, for when I make her breakfast just right, for when she wants to say I love you without saying it. But now her smile is devilish and predatory, and this is entirely foreign to me. 
Her lips curl up beautifully, her eyes shine with the infinite possibilities of her power over me. It’s the most dangerous smile she has ever given me, and yet I have never felt so safe. 
***
Wanda guides me from the bathroom into the bedroom, and onto the bed. She positions me on my knees, on top of the soft sheets. From there, I watch as she strips, the muscles in her arms becoming more pronounced when she reaches up to pull her shirt over her head. She slips the harness on like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like tying her shoelaces, or doing up the buttons of a coat. She needs my help to fit the base of the toy through the ring, and with the combined shakiness of my hands, and the slickness of the toy, it takes a few moments before it’s comfortably in place. She kisses me, hastily, like she herself is impatient too, and she asks me quietly ‘’are you sure about this? Remember to tap out when you want to stop.’’ I nod so quickly that I fear I might have given myself whiplash, and my enthusiasm makes Wanda smile. I hesitate for half a second, but then I speak up, ‘’don’t go easy on me- please, I think I just need- I don’t know, I just want you to be a bit rough.’’ 
Wanda smiles again, and this time it’s a cocky thing, all smugness and pride. My insides twist at the thought of what is to come and my head buzzes at the sight of Wanda like this, cool and confident, perfectly at ease, perfectly in control. She knows I will bend for her, in whichever way she asks me to. She knows I’m all hers, to with as she pleases. 
Her hand is warm and firm as she places it in the middle of my back, pushing down harshly to bend me over. I fall into position as though I was born to do this, my back arched prettily, legs spread as far as they can go. ‘’You really are gagging for it, aren’t you?’’ Wanda delights, so satisfied with herself that I can hear it in her voice. I don���t bother responding, I just whine and wiggle my ass for her. 
The smack comes as somewhat of a surprise, startling me so much that I yelp out loud, my voice reverberating through the room. Her hand instantly rubs smoothing circles over my stinging skin, and the motion has me moaning hotly, leaning back into her, sticking out my ass, asking for more. She delivers two more hits that leave me reeling, and somewhere in the distance I can hear her snicker. ‘’I’m going to have so much fun putting you over my lap someday, sweetheart.’’ 
And I would respond to her, tell her how much I want that, but then her fingers find my soaked cunt and my brain goes silent. Her intake of breath, along with the slick sounds her fingers make, are the only sounds in the room for a few moments, but when she sinks two fingers into me, I groan just a bit too loudly. I push back against her, impatient for more, but she’s stubborn. She fucks into me lazily for a while, her hand splayed out on my back, holding me in place. Then suddenly her fingers are gone, leaving me empty and wanting.
I hold my breath, waiting for her strap, waiting for her to give me what I want. But seconds pass, and then a few minutes, and suddenly, the dam in me breaks completely. My arms give way underneath me, and a sob tears at my throat. I struggle in her grasp, fighting against the hand on my back, holding me in place. ‘’Ah, ah, ah,’’ Wanda muses, placing both of her hands on my hips now, so harshly that her fingernails dig into my skin, ‘’that’s not the way to ask.’’ 
Tears find their way back to my eyes and drip hotly onto my chest. I wail into the sheets underneath me, ‘’please, please, please.’’ The words tumble over and into each other, blending together in a jumbled mess of tears and saliva, and muffled by the sheets. ‘’Pl-ease, I need- I- I- oh…’’
Wanda finally takes pity on me, sliding her strap into me in one thrust, the front of her thighs resting against my backside. Her skin is warm, but against my overheated clammy skin, it’s like she’s icy cold. I am so wet that she slides right in, with absolutely no resistance. She holds me there for a while, and I relish in the way we fit together, Her cock pressed snugly against that sweet spot inside of me. Then, slowly, one of her hands creeps up towards my scalp, sliding in between my hair and scratching softly. ‘’Detka,’’ she muses, her voice velvety smooth, ‘’remember that you asked for this.’’
Then her hand balls up into a fist, collecting a handful of my hair and pulling hard. At the same time, she thrusts her hips into me, so harshly that my full body lurches forward. I would have fallen if she didn’t have such a strong hold on me. Some part of it hurts, and I know I will feel her tomorrow, but for now the pain makes it feel just that much better, and when her cock rubs me in just the right way I howl from the pleasure of it. She gives me no time to adjust before she sets a punishing pace, laughing at the way I squirm under her. It is somehow both too much, and yet still not enough. 
Tears are steadily leaking from the corners of my eyes, and I’m having a hard time containing the saliva in my open, moaning mouth. Wanda delights in it, cooing at me with a slightly cruel tone of voice. ‘’You’re such a mess, baby. Is that really all it takes?’’ I can’t think, let alone string a sentence together. But she feels so good inside of me, and I need her to know this. In this position, I feel so totally enveloped by her, that it’s almost overwhelming. I suck in great lungfuls of air, trying to form any sounds that aren’t moans. I end up making some kind of wailing gasping noise, punctuated by a high-pitched squeak, as she tries to deliberately trip me up by giving me an extra rough thrust,
‘’Awww, what’s wrong, little dove? Is it too much? Do you need me to stop?’’ The hand in my hair releases its hold and my upper body, no longer supported by her strength, falls limply to the bed. She stays infuriatingly still inside of me, and I can hear her panting slightly as her hands cup my ass. When I try to move myself, they find their way back to my hips, holding me in place. ‘’Isn’t that better, dove? You were struggling so much, I think you’ve had enough.’’ 
I know she’s only teasing, but the threat of being left like this so horrifying that my tears begin to flow once more. ‘’No, no, no, no, please, please don’t.’’ I try to buck my hips into her, but I can’t move a millimetre with her holding me so tightly. She chuckles at my cries of frustration, clearly amused by this display of desperation. She pulls out lightly, just to tease me a bit, sliding her strap in and out in a slow and steady pace that leaves me reeling. I am so close, and I know that if she touched me in just the right way, it wouldn’t take long. 
In one final act of desperation I reach for one of the hands grasping my hips, and she must think I simply want to hold it, because she lets go of one of my hips to entangle her fingers with mine. Carefully I guide her around my body, flatting her hand so that her palm is flush against my skin. I find the spot with ease, and lay my hand over hers, pressing her into my lower stomach, where I know she can now feel herself inside of me. 
She swears loudly, and she moves experimentally to feel the bulge of her cock. ‘’Please,’’ I whimper, ‘’you feel so good inside of me, please, please, I need more.’’ I expect for this to break her, for her to finally give me what I want, but if anything it gives her more restraint. She relishes in the feel of her cock bulging in my lower stomach, I can tell by the way she presses down on me, and increases the force behind her thrusts. She refuses to speed up though, simply pulling out languidly, before thrusting back in with considerable force behind it. It’s sloppy, and on every other thrust her strap slips out and slides over my clit as she tries to push back into me. This act alone brings me right to the edge, the feel of the slick ridges of her cock over my aching clit, pulls the knot in my abdomen ever tighter. It’s so, so very close to what I need, but it’s still not enough. 
The frustration of the night, combined with the fears surrounding Wanda’s trip and the painful edging she’s putting me through, finally become too much. I let myself cry in earnest, feebly trying to buck my hips into her, trashing in her arms as she holds me close to her. I can’t take this any more, I can’t think, I can hardly breathe. 
‘’Say something nice,’’ Wanda muses, amusement clear in her voice, ‘’and I’ll think about letting you come.’’
‘’Mo-mmy-‘’ I whimper, no longer able to contain myself, too far gone to think straight, I echo Kate’s desperate plea from easier. Behind me, Wanda stills, her grip on me loosens, and I find room to throw my hips back, fucking myself on her cock. She doesn’t try to stop me. One of her hands finds its way to my throat, pulling me up slowly until I’m flush with her front, her breasts pressing against the bare skin of my back. ‘’Say that again,’’ she whispers, her breath hot against the shell of my ear. 
I’m so ready to come, I try to spread my legs, to slide my own hand down to rub at my clit, but Wanda is too quick for me. With her free hand she catches my wrist, and she holds my body in position with the combined grip on my throat and her thighs holding mine steady. ‘’I said, say that again,’’ she hisses, giving my throat an extra squeeze. 
‘’Mommy,’’ I whine, ‘’Please, I wanna- I- I need-‘’ 
‘’I know, little dove,’’ Wanda coos, pulling out of me fully, and guiding me to lay on my back, ‘’do you want mommy to make it all better?’’ Somehow, when she repeats it back to me the reality of what I’ve done begins to set in, somewhere in the back of my mind my anxiety kick-starts. Now there’s a battle waging in my mind, between shame and desire. But with Wanda’s soft hands on my skin, and the still slick strap bobbing between her thighs, my shame buckles for my desire. My face flushes, and I shake my hair in front of my face to hide myself, but I nod, and hum my ascent. Yes, yes, I do want her to make it better. 
She pulls a pillow from the pile at the top of the headboard, and manoeuvres it to fit under my hips. She looks magnificent above me, with flushed cheeks and a heaving chest. She’s nude, save for the harness around her hips, and I cannot believe that she is all mine. Some of her flyaway hairs stick to her sweaty brow, and I get the overwhelming urge to brush smooth my hand over them and press a kiss on her forehead afterwards. And I would have reached up to do it, but then she’s between my legs again. The strap, now slightly cold, but still slick, slides up and over my clit, and I am instantly and forcibly reminded of the intense burning heat in my gut. I was so close to the edge only moments ago, and as she warms up her strap, I am pushed right back towards that edge. 
When she’s ready, she holds my legs up and open for her. The tops of my thighs touch my stomach, and I squirm at the feel of my tummy being on display like this. I cringe at the thought of what I must look like, and Wanda must notice because she frowns slightly, her brows drawing together in disapproval. One hand leaves my thigh to cradle my cheek, and she leans in for a lazy kiss, open-mouthed and messy. When she pulls back, her hand finds its way back to my thigh, spreading me open. ‘’You’re stunning every day, my love,’’ she says, sliding the tip of her strap into me, ‘’but when you’re spread like this, ready for my cock, you’re absolutely ravishing.’’ 
When she slides her cock in all the way, she stays there for just a few moments, resting her forehead against mine. We let out a synchronized sound of contentment. I am beyond relieved to feel her back inside of me, the sense of completion is almost overwhelming. This quiet moment doesn’t last, however, because soon I am squirming against her once more. I grind my hips deliberately, feeling her moving in me. I look down to my lower stomach, where I can just make out the bulge of her cock. And without looking, I can tell she’s watching it too. 
Finally, finally, Wanda’s restraint gives out. Using her grip on my thighs as leverage, she pushes into me harshly, driving all the air in my lungs clean out of me. The feel of it is heavenly, and I want to arch my back, contort my face and howl with the pleasure of it. But Wanda can see my face now, and her view of my body makes me uncomfortable. I fight to stay in control of my reaction, fight to make myself look pretty, or at least presentable. Wanda, ever the observer, notices within seconds. ‘’Ah, ah, ah,’’ she chides, ‘’none of that, let it go now, dove. You’re safe with me, I’ve got you, just let go.’’ Mercifully, she leans forward, covering my face with her sheet of long hair, giving me a respite from the ugly feeling of being known. There, under the cover of her hair, and the safety of the crook of her neck, I allow myself to let go. 
In this new position, she’s resting most of her body weight on me, and she puts considerable force behind her thrusts. My moans are broken, and desperate, my voice cracking as I beg her to ruin me. I lose track of what precisely I’m saying, but Wanda seems to love it. With easy access to her neck, I lick and suck and bite to my heart's content. She turns her head slightly to make it easier for me to reach, and it’s clear that she’s enjoying herself from the way she shudders every time I run my tongue over the hard muscle in her neck. She moans softly when I bite down her tender skin, not hard enough to make her bleed, just enough to create a pretty red mark. Her moans make my head spin with want. The knowledge of being desired by her, is more erotic to me than any kind of physical touch could be. Wanda Maximoff moaning above me feels like heaven on earth. 
It doesn’t take long before Wanda’s movements become more frenzied, and I wonder if she, like me, is impatient for my orgasm to arrive. It’s only when she shifts our position, lowering one of my legs slightly to give herself a better angle, that I realize what is going on. She moans loudly and almost obscenely into my ear, and I wonder how I ever managed to live without having experienced this. Heat, like nothing I’ve felt before, erupts throughout my body. From the very tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, I am utterly incandescent. 
Her moans stutter in their rhythm, and I know what’s going to happen. I hold her tightly to me, my mouth on her neck, my legs locked firmly behind her back. ‘’Oh- oh God.’’ She keens, ‘’I- oh- I’m sorry honey, I think I’m gonna-‘’ I detach my mouth from the hickey I’m steadily developing at her pulse point for just long enough to moan out my response, ‘’Come inside me, please, mommy,’’ I plead, my voice obscenely high-pitched and whiney, ‘’you feel so good, please- please.’’
Wanda comes first, and it’s a marvellous fall from grace. She grasps at me, her body pushing into mine so firmly that it feels as though she’s trying to merge us into one. Her moans so close to my ear, and so desperate and needy, finally push me over the edge. My whole body seizes up so forcefully that I worry I might tear a muscle. I hold onto Wanda for dear life as she fucks me through my peak, her cheek pressed to mine as she rides out her own pleasure. 
It takes a while for us to come back to ourselves, both still reeling from our release. Wanda stills inside of me, propping herself up to come nose to nose with me. She’s laughing, but I feel beyond exhausted. Still, I encourage her gently to rest her full body weight on me and to keep her cock inside of me for a while. We snuggle like that, not speaking, just breathing each other in. My hand finds her hair and I scratch her scalp softly with my nails. My anxiety is creeping up on slowly, replacing the relaxation in my body steadily with that too familiar uneasy gut feeling. 
Even in this state, Wanda picks up on the change in me. I don’t know if I have given her any physical cues, or if she can somehow sense the change in energy, but she notices nonetheless. Without further ado, she makes us get up. I wince at the rawness of my body when she pulls her cock out of me, and Wanda laughs when she sees the state of her neck in the bathroom mirror. 
She draws us a bath, throwing in some lavender scented oil, and we both clamber into it on unsteady legs. We wash each other with soft cloths, and talk through some of our experiences of the night. Wanda has a lot of questions for me, which I understand. She wants to know why I didn’t go to her first when I was frustrated, and why I retreated into my head so much when we came face to face in such an intimate moment. But I’m too tired to open those wounds up now, and even the soft light of the bathroom feels too overstimulating on my tired head. So, kind as ever, Wanda accepts that today is not the day, and she merely draws me back to her chest, singing her lullaby to me as we hold each other close.
When the water gets cold, and my head feels a bit clearer, I hop out of the bath to dress myself in something cosy and warm. I have to dash through the bathroom, wrapped in my towel, to grab some clothes from my dresser. I decide against pyjamas, considering we still have guests. So, instead, I settle for a well fitting pair of black joggers and a wonderfully soft roll neck top. According to the clock on Wanda’s night stand, an hour and ten minutes have passed since I first made my way upstairs. 
I wonder what everyone else has been doing in the time we’ve been gone, and I wonder too if they know what we’ve been up to. But, I reason with myself, even if they know it won’t be a big deal to them, considering Agatha fucked Kate at the dinner table like it was the most normal thing in the world. 
I am beginning to feel the lack of dinner, though, and my stomach growls loudly when I re-enter the bathroom. Wanda has drained the bath by now, but she’s turning the shower head on. ‘’Aren’t you coming downstairs with me?’’ I ask, as I watch her step carefully back into the tub. ‘’I just want to wash my hair quickly, dove,’’ she says over the sound of falling water. ‘’You can go, I’ll join you soon.’’
***
I leave Wanda in the bathroom to take her shower, and head downstairs groggily in search of tea and a snack. I’m quite sure everyone left, because the house is dead silent, but I’m in for a surprise when I walk into the living room intending to pick up a blanket to stave off the chill running through me. Kate occupies the sofa, laying down with my favourite blanket covering her. Pepper and Maria are nowhere to be found, but Agatha is there, reclining in one of the armchairs, a paperback folded double in her hands, her glasses once more perched at the edge of her nose. 
She looks up when I enter the room, and suddenly I’m hyper aware of my messed up hair, and I’m grateful to Wanda for helping me to clean up. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if I had come down with my tear streaked makeup. Still, Agatha smiles at me as though I had come down looking freshly fucked. 
‘’I bet that was a weight off your shoulders, huh hon?’’ I stare at her blankly, my brain too sluggish to comprehend her words. She laughs, ‘’well, Katie and I went up to the guest bathroom to freshen up after our little session, and it sounds like you two had a marvelous time.’’ Mortified, I raise my hands up to my face to hide myself from her. It was bad enough that Wanda heard that outburst, but the knowledge that Agatha heard, and not just her but Kate too, makes my throat constrict painfully. 
Kate shifts on the sofa, turning her face outward and towards me. She’s clearly sleepy, her eyes half closed. ‘’She’s not teasing you,’’ she mumbles, ‘’I know it feels like it, but she isn’t.’’ She yawns hugely, turning over again, and settling the blanket over herself more securely. ‘’That must have felt nice to finally let out.’’
I shrug half-heartedly, embarrassed tears prickling in my eyes. Agatha rises from her chair, plopping her book down onto the seat, and whipping off her glasses. ‘’Come on, we should let Katie rest.’’ With a firm but gentle hand on my lower back, she steers me towards the door, leaving no room for argument. I don’t bother trying to fight it, and I allow myself to be guided through the living room into the bright LED lighted kitchen. 
When she lets go of me, I move away from her, hugging myself tightly, wishing Wanda would hurry up already. She leans back comfortably against the kitchen counter, and I feel myself shrink under her gaze. I want to turn around and walk away, or snap at her for looking me with those all-knowing eyes. I hold myself securely, shielding myself from attacks that won’t come, trying to breathe through the discomfort of being known. 
‘’I know that you feel dirty’’ Agatha says finally, breaking this awful silence, ‘’you’re ashamed, and you’re afraid of these feelings you can’t make sense of.’’ She steps closer to me, a strong hand outstretched, like a hunter approaching a startled deer in the forest. ‘’One day you’ll learn to proud of these feelings, and it will give you the peace you’ve always craved. But only if you open yourself up, and let us help you.’’
She’s so close to me that I can feel the heat radiating off of her body. She smells like lavender, and the veins of her hand stick out like rivers carving a path through land. Involuntarily, my eyes flit down to her trousers, where her bulge is still visible. A shiver runs through me when I recall Kate writhing on her lap, Agatha’s strong hands holding onto her, delighting in her pleasure, in the way she begged and the words she used. Unashamed, ecstatic, and free. 
Fresh tears dribble slowly down my cheeks, and instinctively I turn to face away from her, but she’s too quick for me. In half a heartbeat she has me pressed tightly against her, one hand cradling the back of my head, the other resting on my lower back. She rocks me lightly, shushing me, in a way that is too clinical to be motherly. Still, this display of gentleness from her shocks me so much that I don’t even fight against it, instead I welcome the wave of tears that rolls over me. ‘’I’m disgusting,’’ I manage finally between the tears and the heaving breaths I have to take, ‘’I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’’
She lets go of me now, the moment of affection passing just as quickly as it came. She’s back to scrutinizing me, but now there’s something like pity in her eyes. It makes the underside of my skin itch. ‘’Why do you think you’re disgusting?’’ 
The notepad is back, arrows and lines and squiggles and stars all over the paper. I didn’t even see where it came from. The lights are too bright, and the counters smell like lemon. It makes me feel somewhat nauseous. I look at the black ink when I speak, deliberately avoiding her gaze. 
‘’It’s not natural.’’ 
Agatha snorts derisively, ‘’depriving children of a loving and nurturing relationship to their parents isn’t natural. This response is nothing but natural. Your brain is protecting you, in the absence of a protector. You are trying to fill in the gaps, in the only way you know how.’’ I hug my chest again, noticing how little comfort I find in my own cold hands, now I’ve felt Agatha’s warm body against mine. ‘’What are you so afraid of?’’ She asks, her pen skirting over the paper. I like to imagine she’s writing my answer down for me.
‘’She’s going to think that I’m weak, and hate me for being so needy. I can’t let this out, because then I won’t know how to go back.’’
Her eyes twinkle when she looks up at me from her paper, the lines by her eyes contracting as she smiles. ‘’Have you spoken to Wanda about this?’’ 
My head hurts, and I can’t tell if it’s because of the crying, or the bright lights bouncing off of the white marble counter tops. I shake my head, my fingers picking at the skin around my nails, it’s already bleeding.
‘’Do you think you believe she won’t accept this side of you, because you don’t accept it?’’ I close my eyes, agitation returning to me. I’m too tired for this, I’m too tired for anything. ‘’I think you’ve made your judgement already. You clearly think that’s the case.’’
‘’I do,’’ she says, not the slightest bit of venom in her voice, though I had expected it. ‘’Clearly you loathe yourself so much that you’re depriving yourself of any form of love and acceptance she tries to give to you.’’ There is no malice behind this statement, but it still stings, and I flinch as though she has struck me. My nose has closed up from the crying, and I have to breathe through my mouth in an effort to steady myself, trying to hold back the next wave of tears. Agatha is surprisingly patient as I try to collect myself enough to be able to get some words out.
‘’I- I want to accept it.’’ I begin, my voice thick from the tears, ‘’I want it so bad, more than anything else, and I never thought I had an issue with accepting love, but- but…’’ I trail off, shrugging my shoulders half-heartedly, ‘’I don’t know, I’m just so scared uncovering all of this because if she doesn’t like me like this, I don’t know if I could bear it.’’
Agatha nods sagely, patting my arm in a vaguely comforting way. She reaches behind me for the paper towels, ripping off two sheets and handing them to me, so I can dry my eyes and blow my nose. ‘’You need to calm down a bit, alright, hon? I’m going to make us some nice tea, and then you’re going to listen to what I have to say.’’
There is no room for ifs or buts, so I just wipe my tears, and nod along. She kindly gives me a second to sort myself out, turning her back on me to put the kettle on. When my tears are finally dry, she sets a steaming mug of tea in front of me, and directs me to sit at the bar stool. She sits right next to me, so close that our knees touch. Her glasses are back on her nose now, and I’m grateful for the mug because it gives me something to do with my hands. 
‘’A mother complex in sapphic women is often viewed as repulsive by outsiders,’’ she begins, her voice reassuring and gentle, ‘’whilst a father complex in heterosexual women is very widely accepted, and people don’t bat an eye at a girl who calls her bed partner daddy,’’ she says, giving me a significant look, ‘’but a girl calling her partner mommy? They can’t cope with it. As a society we’ve been a bit desensitized by the word daddy, because we’ve been taught to accept it in a sexual context. The word mommy hasn’t got the same treatment, so it’s still viewed very much in the context of a mother and child. People find it especially inflammatory when a younger and older woman respectively engage in such a dynamic.’’ 
She lays a warm hand on my knee, and my skin burns with the contact. ‘’What you feel is normal, your inner child has been so severely neglected that she’s screaming for love and affection. You don’t need your mother, you need your mommy, and those are two entirely separate people.’’ 
I hang my head, letting out a shaky breath, ‘’I’m so tired of taking care of myself all the time,’’ I admit, my voice shaking. Agatha rubs her hand in gentle circles on my back, ‘’so let go, and trust that we will catch you.’’ Her use of we doesn’t escape me, but I’m too exhausted to question her on this. Her words sound so sweet, and so promising, I want to sink into her and let this all go. I can’t though, I know I can’t give into this temptation. My resolve is breaking, I can feel it, and it’s so hard to not give into her. A compromise then, however much the truth can be a compromise. 
‘’I really want to,’’ I begin, and I can already tell that she knows exactly where this is going. Maybe she knew where this day would end when she cornered me in the kitchen for the first time. ‘’But I can’t let myself do this, because I think it’ll ruin me.’’ Agatha gives me a sceptical look, ‘’you’re full of shit, did you know that?’’ I laugh, before I realize how serious her tone is. ‘’You’re going against your nature, and it’s going to end up hurting a lot more than it already is.’’ I shift uncomfortably in my seat, staring at the laces of her shoes. ‘’you don’t know that.’’ 
She laughs humourlessly, ‘’Which one of us has the PhD, hon?’’ I pull a face, unable to contain myself any longer. ‘’Are you this rude to paying clients?’’ This makes her smile, the curve of her lips breaking the icy cold mask that was previously there. ‘’No, lucky for you, you’re not paying me.’’
‘’I just don’t know how to accept it,’’ I blurt out suddenly, unable to bear this awful tension, knowing she disproves of my choices. ‘’She’s going to think I’m a freak, and she’ll hate me for it, and then I’ll lose her. But I want to let go just like Kate can, I want that so bad. I don’t know how to do that without terrifying Wanda.’’ 
‘’You underestimate her,’’ Agatha says, ‘’you saw how she was with Pepper and Kate.’’ 
‘’That’s different,’’ I say evasively, making Agatha roll her eyes. ‘’How is that different?’’ I shrug, ‘’it’s one thing to watch someone else do it, it’s another thing entirely to do it yourself.’’ Apparently that’s notebook worthy, because she scribbles something down messily, the pen excreting a bit more ink than is necessary, staining the paper with a dark blob of ink. ‘’I’ve known Wanda a lot longer than you have, and I’ve known her intimately. She’s insecure, and stubborn and just as afraid of you to admit it to you, but she needs someone to take care of.’’ 
I stare at the jet black blob of ink, focused on how it seeps into the paper. It bleeds into the thin white sheet like blood sinking into snow. A part of my brain itches with excitement, screaming at me to listen to Agatha. Another part of begins to loosen its grip on the doubt. 
‘’If it takes me banging your heads together to make you understand, I will.’’ She says, and I have a feeling that this isn’t a joke. ‘’In the meantime, let’s start small, with something you already know, but that isn’t fully in your comfort zone yet.’’ She pats my knee and smiles at me In a somewhat condescending manner. ‘’When we get back to the living room you’re going to kneel for Wanda, I know you enjoy that, so that should be a nice way to get this ball rolling.’’
I open my mouth to protest, several urgent questions rushing to the forefront of my mind, but she’s way ahead of me, holding up a finger to silence me. ‘’None of that, this isn’t a request, dear. Now, we really should find Wanda, she’s taking an awfully long time up there.’’ She’s up now, and peeking out the door, listening for movement upstairs. 
‘’H- how did you know, about the- the kneeling thing.’’ I say weakly. ‘’Hmm?’’ she hums vaguely, still alertly waiting for any signs of life from the upper story of the house. ‘’Oh, Wanda told me ages ago now. She said you were mad for it.’’
‘’Oh.’’ I say dumbly, thinking about Wanda and Agatha chatting about me in such a casual way. I wonder what else she has told her. The thought of it all makes my face burn.
A few more moments pass of the older woman standing guard at the door, before she finally shows a sign of life again. ‘’Wanda’s coming,’’ she warns, pulling my half drunk mug of tea from my hands, and dumping it out into the sink alongside hers. Hardly 10 seconds later I hear her footsteps on the stairs, and I can tell she’s about to walk past the kitchen, but Agatha calls out to her. 
‘’There you are,’’ Wanda says from the open doorway, and I’m so relieved to see her again, smiling and happy to see me, even after what happened. She leans against the frame, her hair wet and her shirt damp at the neck, smiling like everything is fine. It gives me hope that maybe everything is fine, and that Agatha is right after all. 
Agatha moves past us, muttering something about Pepper and Maria, and an unexpected zoom call. When the door falls closed behind her, Wanda stretches out her arms towards me, inviting me in for a hug. She smells like shampoo, and fresh laundry, and it’s the most comforting smell in the world to me now. She holds me tightly, one hand on my back, and another on the back of my head. We stand there for a while, silently swaying in each other’s arms. I don’t want to let go, so I hold on even when she begins to speak. ‘’Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened?’’ she asks, in a voice so gentle that I can’t even bring myself to imagine that she hates me for this. I shake my head as much as I can in this position, and mumble into the crook of her neck, ‘’no, please not tonight.’’ My voice cracks a little bit and I curse myself for this weakness when I feel her squeeze me a little tighter.
The voices from the living room have increased in volume, raucous laughter coming through the closed door. Just like that, the spell is broken, and we let go of each other. I yawn slightly, rubbing at my eyes. ‘’Do you want to go back to bed?’’ Wanda asks, surveying me with a cocked head. ‘’No, it’s okay, let’s go see the others and if I’m too tired I can always go to bed anyway.’’
*** 
Finally, we move to the living room, where Pepper and Maria have returned and are now laughing over some pictures on Maria’s phone. Kate has moved from the couch and is curled up comfortably between Pepper’s legs, kneeling on the plush carpet. They all smile when we enter, and I hide myself behind Wanda bashfully, flushing at the thought of Agatha or Kate having told them what they heard. They go right back to their conversation, though, and Wanda steers me towards where Pepper is sitting. I can feel Agatha’s eyes on me, and I remember the demand she made of me. Instantly, my heart picks up its pace and I can feel my hands beginning to sweat.
I’m saved from having to make the request, however, because Wanda notices how I haven’t sat down even when she indicated for me to do. She looks between me and Kate, who’s snuggled up close to Pepper. Then, she leans down to whisper in my ear ‘’do you want to sit up here, or kneel with Katie?’’ 
I fidget slightly, making eye contact, first with Agatha, who gives me a slow nod, and then with Kate, who’s looking up at me with a welcoming smile. ‘’It’s nice down here, you know?’’ she says, her voice friendly and teasing. And her encouragement, combined with Wanda’s reassuring squeeze to my hand, is enough to embolden me to lower myself down to my knees, even with everybody watching me. 
Wanda’s fingers find their way into my hair, Pepper and Maria continue with their laughter, Agatha winks at me, her smirk clearly showing her approval, and Kate’s fingers creep towards mine across the carpet, intertwining our fingers and squeezing in a gesture of sisterhood. It feels like she’s saying, see? Isn’t this nice? 
And it is, it really is. I squeeze back, and hope she knows what I mean.
━━━━━━━━━ ✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯ ━━━━━━━━━
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