#i feel like some of you guys won’t believe me because Christian movies are usually very like. low effort low budget very safe movies

[faelapis]

journey to bethlehem SLAPS. it is so fucking extra. its so "high school musical but 5% more religious" that i genuinely had to double-check to make sure kenny ortega had nothing to do with it.

#journey to bethlehem #it goes so hard. i will not hear a bad word about it #you guys. it is SO high school musical that there is literally a 'bet on it' song where the male lead is singing his heart out about his #own doubts in himself complete with Visual Symbolism of two versions of him wearing white and black robes #and then he FIGHTS HIMSELF during the song #camp rock eat your heart out #this is the true successor to the hsm formula #i feel like some of you guys won’t believe me because Christian movies are usually very like. low effort low budget very safe movies #and to be clear it is quite safe. but the production values and effort is GREAT like hsm 3 levels of colorful musical camp

[therealvinelle]

Carlisle and theology

So, there are a lot of thoughts in this fandom on Carlisle’s brand of faith, and Carlisle seeing vampirism as inherent sin, and it’s time for this Christian philosophy nerd to butt in, featuring all the quotes.

First of, let me do my usual disclaimer - the Carlisle of the books is not the Carlisle of the movies. Carlisle of the movies believes he’s damned, because while the movie does mostly quote the conversation from the books, they cut him off halfway through, completely changing the meaning. Book Carlisle is making an argument, and his conclusion is the opposite: vampires have souls.

"Edward's with me up to a point. God and heaven exist… and so does hell. But he doesn't believe there is an afterlife for our kind." Carlisle's voice was very soft; he stared out the big window over the sink, into the darkness. "You see, he thinks we've lost our souls." (New Moon, page 20)

Later in the same book when Edward believes he has died and gone to heaven, his first words are: “Carlisle was right.”

So, book Carlisle doesn’t believe they’re all damned. If he did, creating others would be to damn them. If he had doubts about their souls and decided to risk it anyway, his “I made vampires” angst would be about their souls. It’s not:

"(Choosing to turn others) is the one part I can never be sure of. I think, in most other ways, that I've done the best I could with what I had to work with. But was it right to doom the others to this life? I can't decide." (New Moon, page 21)

was it right to doom the others to this life.

He says nothing about their souls. His issue is the life they’re now living because of him: “was it right to turn others into bloodsucking demons, all of whom have a body count?”

Which is a very fair question, I’d be wondering that too. Edward, Emmett, Esme, and Rosalie are all murderers, they live in the constant pain of bloodlust, they must live in this very particular way or be nomads, and they’re not truly immortal, for sooner or later death will come in the brutal form of being torn apart and burned. Not to mention both Edward and Rosalie have very ambivalent feelings about what they became.

Carlisle wondering if turning them was the right call appears to have nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with the pragmatic reality of what it means to have created a vampire.

But if Carlisle doesn’t believe vampires are damned, what does he think then?

His backstory, admittedly told through Edward (who projects a lot onto Carlisle), is helpful.

His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again. (Twilight, page 160)

Carlisle had been raised to believe in witches and demons, eternal damnation for the wicked and the whole shebang. He wakes up a vampire and he knows what this means, he is now a senseless monster who kills people. 

Well, turns out this isn’t the case. He doesn’t have to kill people. More, he still has his faith in God, which by protestant doctrine is what you need to enter Heaven. (This right here is one big bone I have to pick with fanon Carlisle. People keep ascribing a very Catholic brand of theology onto him, as he believes existence is sin and one must do penance. He’s Anglican, and Anglicans adopted Protestant doctrine. Protestant salvation comes through faith.)

Now, if his existence doesn’t automatically lead to sin, and if he is still in command of himself, able to believe in God and be devout, who’s to say he’s damned?

The urge to kill people remains present, of course, but humans are tempted to sin too. All of God’s children are tempted. (And yes, he did arrive at the conclusion that vampires are among God’s children. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t believe they had souls.)

Edward specifies that Carlisle created his own philosophy. As in, he didn’t just say “I don’t have to kill people, neat. Being a monster is still horrible, though”, he sat down and went full Zarathustra.

This is where my love for theology comes in.

Christian thought is founded on the relationship between God and Man. How Man is saved, the definition of sin, absolution, all of it - it’s all built on the supposition that Man is human. Well, Carlisle just found out that there’s God, Man, and Vampire - and potentially (Carlisle at this early point in time would still think witches and such were real) others as well.

He also learned that the notion of monsters being bound to sin, or having made deals with Satan, are also wrong. He never met the guy, he has his conscience, and he lives as morally as ever.

This invalidates pretty much everything he ever learned, and Carlisle’s sitting there in the English woods realizing the same thing Nietzsche later would when science challenged religion: he has to figure out Christianity from scratch.

I think Carlisle came up with his very own doctrine.

Edward outright says so: his new philosophy was born. We see Carlisle engage in all sorts of behavior completely contrary to anything a devout 17th century priest would have been doing. He associates with heathens like Aro, Amun, or the Amazonians, allows his family to be non-believers, considers fallen women like the Denali to be wonderful people and respects them as equals, he performs abortions, he allows material luxuries under his roof, he marries a woman who committed suicide.

There’s also the fact that his was a time full of alternate interpretations of Scripture. I won’t get into this part of European history, suffice to say that with Martin Luther’s 97 theses, the Christian world exploded with different sects and branches. Anabaptism, Calvinism, Quakers, Lutherans, the list just keeps going. It wouldn’t have been a foreign concept to Carlisle to sit down and say “Alright, who is God and what does He want from us”

I keep seeing Carlisle written as a Christian parody who cries because once when he was having sex with Esme in the dark some light entered the room and he saw her ankle, and now he thinks they’re both going to hell. And if we’re talking about the movies then sure, that guy seems the type. Book Carlisle is not this, and there’s nothing in canon to indicate as much, quite the contrary. (Yes, Edward is angsty about souls, but that’s not what Carlisle believes at all. It’s made clear over and over these two don’t agree on religion, so the argument that Edward somehow downloaded his religious angst from Carlisle defeats itself.)

It seems to me Carlisle came to the conclusion that sin is to take lives for pleasure, and that vampires are neither damned nor inherently sinful. This is the only action he appears to condemn, to view as sinful. Apart from that, he will kill to defend himself or others (the newborn battle and James), he’s pro-abortion, and he did not oppose Rosalie getting her revenge.

Apart from that I’m not going to extrapolate much, in part because that’d be hard to do when we don’t have a lot to go on and I’m not actually a theologician, and in part because this post is very long now. Feel free to ask if someone wants me putting on my philosophy hat and pretending I’m a vampire with a religious crisis.

(I will say this though: the notion of vampires being inherently sinful is just Original Sin in a hat. If Carlisle believes in it, then he also believes in Original Sin for humans, vice versa if he doesn’t. Doesn’t seem to be the case, but if it is then the vampirism by itself still isn’t any more damned than humanity.)

#carlisle cullen #long post #theology #religion #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #this was written because of my #pet peeve: badly written christian characters #thank god the star wars fans haven't realized how Christian the Jedi are #or the fanfiction would get ugly

[noaltbruh]

Bucci gang and Christmas time!

Do I know we're in the middle of Summer? Yes.

Is that going to stop me from writing headcanons about my favourite characters celebrating my favourite Holiday? No.

(Just a side note: most of the headcanons I write take place in an 'Everyone survives universe', keep this particularly in mind while reading this post)

Enjoy! 🎄

Giorno! 🐞

-Giorno has never celebrated Christian once in his entire life. To be honest...He almost feels a sense of spite thinking about this Holiday, because his parents used to neglect him even more during this time of the year. They would spend entire days out, going party with their friends, buying presents for other people, and wouldn't bother in the slightest to decorate the house with a single light

-For a long time, all he could think about when this festivity came into his mind was the dull plate of cold food his parents would leave him to heat in the microwave, but that wasn't nearly as freezing as the feeling of sorrow that filled his heart. He would sit by the window, watching other people having fun together, while he was all alone in that gloomy, small apartment.

-Can you even imagine how he felt when he first celebrated Christmas with the gang?

-He failed to understand why pretty much everyone was so exited, most of them weren't even Christian. He thought he didn't even deserve to participate, not after all the 'morally questionable' things he does as the Don of Passione

-But it didn't take much for the gang to realize how Giorno felt about Christmas, and they were determined to prove him that he had gotten the wrong idea about this Holiday

-When he noticed that he others were trying to drag him in the 'Christmas spirit', he immediately protested, claiming that he had too many errands to attend to

-Needless to say, they didn't buy it

-Eventually, he gave up, accepting to give this festivity a chance, if that would have made them happy. After all, they've been trying so hard to lift his spirit, he would have felt ungrateful rejecting them even now

-He helped with the preparations in any way he could, from decorating the house to buying gifts for everyone.

-What he hadn't realized, is how much effort and care he was putting in everything he was doing. It wasn't something he agreed to solely to please them, he was genuinely enjoying it, he wanted to be a part of this, even though he failed to fully understand it.

-His favourite part was filling the house and the back garden with lights and any other sort of decorations: candles, wreaths, festoons, music boxes, or just other ornaments in general

-When the 25th of December finally arrived, Giorno was ecstatic. Seeing his entire family having so much fun together, opening presents, admiring the lights, watching cheesy Christmas movies while wrapped up in warm blankets, it felt so...Simple, but so reassuring, he couldn't even put into words how he felt

-His favourite present was a huge encyclopedia about nature. He always reads it before going to bed, it helps him fall asleep faster and more peacefully

-Like I mentioned in my previous post, I think Giorno really likes anything that tastes even slightly sweet, so he absolutely adores Christmas treats! Pandori, panettoni, tronchetti, hot chocolate...He loves all of them!

-He can't deny that he felt really bad when they had to take off all the decorations, and while he wouldn't openly say it, he wishes for Christmas to come back again as soon as possible

Bruno! 🤐

-Bruno is the second most exited in the gang for Christmas! (Can you already tell who's the first? :) ) He's the only one, however, that cares about the religious aspect of it, which is particularly important in a country like Italy.

-It's his favourite Holiday, and it was considered the most important festivity in his family, since all of his relatives were Christians. Besides, he had always been personally attached to it, as it was one of the very few times where he could see his mom, which used to spoil him in whatever way she could

-He goes to Church either very early on Christmas Morning, while everyone is still asleep, or at exactly midnight between the 24th and the 25th. Most of the people that go at times like these are old grannies, but Bruno doesn't care, he thinks it's cute actually ^^

-As he was raised in a relatively humble environment, having the chance to celebrate Christmas in quite the...Extravagant way, after joining Passione, almost felt out of place for him

-That doesn't mean, however, that he doesn't care about the 'materialistic' part of the Festivity, because he sees it as a way to rest his head for a while and spend some quality time with the ones he cares about

-His role as the mom of the group is also remarkably present during the preparations. Bruno is the one that mostly takes care of cooking for everyone, and he enjoys it a lot! His favourite part is preparing sweets of any kind, because they allow him to experiment a lot and always try new recipes

-Every member of the gang has to participate in one way or another to the preparations, and Bruno is the one that coordinates the whole thing

-Bucciarati always gets everyone the best presents. He starts thinking about what to get for them a month before the others, so that he never finds himself in a rush and can take all the time he needs to find the perfect gift

-He also LOVES making and receiving hand-made presents, he can feel all the effort and love that was put into them, and it just feels more thoughtful than something that was bought, no matter how expensive it may have been

-Bruno is that sort of person that prefers to spend Christmas without doing anything particularly exciting, just enjoying the calm and warm atmosphere that fills the house

-However, Bucciarati also loves to go for a long walk down the streets, admiring the lights all around the town, bringing along anyone in the gang that wishes to join him

Mista! 🔫

-While the manga states that Mista believes in a 'God', I don't think he believes in Jesus, Holy Mary, and the rest. He used to go to Church when he was little, but mostly because his parents forced him to, he didn't actually care

-Because of this, he sees Christmas as a materialistic Festivity, but that doesn't mean he's not excited for it. He thinks that it's the perfect excuse for everyone to just chill for a little while and have fun

-Unlike Bruno and Giorno, who prefer to just relax at home without doing anything that requires a lot of energy, Mista is always looking forward to something exiting to do during this time of the year

-Do you want an example? Ice skating! This boy is incredibly good at skating, and he constantly flexes on the entire gang how good he is

-He's that type of person that forgets to buy presents for the gang, and only remembers at the last minute. He's lost count of how many times he had to fight with another costumer because they wanted to buy the same thing, and there was only one left

-Once, a dude was so insistent that he had to pull out his gun to scare him away. Guess what? It worked. Nobody in that shop ever dared to argue with him again

-"Get your damn hands off this videogame, I have a seventeen years old little brother that won't talk to me for two weeks if I don't buy this for him!"

-Aside from getting gifts for Narancia, Trish and the rest, he also gives something to each one of the sex pistols. It's mostly food, but they don't really seem to mind

-Even in this time of the year, Mista is still hot. While everyone is wearing sweaters, long trousers and coats, this madman is still wearing shorts. Trish constantly complains about it, saying that he's going to catch a bad cold, if not worse, if he keeps on dressing like this. He never actually listens to her though

-Like I mentioned early, everyone in the gang has to take care of the preparations in different ways. Mista, together with Fugo, has to buy all the ingredients Bruno needs. It may seem like an easy task, but it isn't; friendly reminder that they have to buy enough stuff for seven people, most of them with very different tastes

-He often gets fed up with waiting in line, and just takes everything he needs and leave without paying. Nobody has the courage to complain, they know better than messing around with a guy like that

-He will most likely steal some of Abbacchio's wine and get drunk. He usually doesn't like alcohol very much, but damn does Abba have good taste in wines

Narancia! 🍊

-You won't find anyone that loves Christmas more than this cute little bundle of sunshine!

-His mother always loved Christmas, and wanted her child to appreciate this Festivity as much as her. Since his parents weren't particularly rich, he always celebrated in a relatively simple way, but his mamma always managed to find a way to make every Christmas different and unique. His father never complained about Mela's excitement, but he barely ever participated in whatever the two of them were organizing. Still, Nari didn't mind, the woman's excitement and joy were successfully passed to her kid

-After she died, for a couple of years, he stopped celebrating Christmas. Not because he didn't want to, he just...Couldn't. His father and him were strangers at this point, and his 'friends' didn't care about it either, they actually thought that it was a stupid thing

-When he finally had the chance to celebrate again after joining Passione, Narancia swore that he wouldn't have let anything, and I say ANYTHING, stop him from enjoying every moment of this Holiday ever again

-Since there are a couple of 'Grinches' in the house, Narancia thinks it's his duty to cheer everyone up, showing them why he loves Christmas so much

-"Nobody's gonna be left out, nope, not on my watch! We're all gonna have a great time, whether you want it or not!"

-Nari already starts to get exited for this Festivity in the moment November arrives, there's nothing he looks forward to more, not even his birthday

-When Bruno finally mentions that it's time to start organizing everything, Narancia jumps from his seat, and it's one of the very few occasions where he listens carefully without spacing out

-Just like Giorno, this baby boy loves decorating the house, they make an awesome team together!

-"Giorno! Look look look...You gotta see this!" "What is it, Narancia?" "THIS SNOW GLOBE! ISN'T IT JUST SOOOOOOOO CUTE?" -"Hehe...I suppose so"

-You may think that, similar to Mista, he forgets to buy presents, but that's not the case! Narancia wants to surprise the entire gang with his awesome gifts, and when they think he can't find anything better...Boom! He slaps an even more amazing present in their faces (not literally, of course)

-Even though he can't cook, he's more than willing to help Bruno with decorating the sweets, filling them with frosting, cream, small fruits, chocolate chips...Anything Bucciarati says he can use, really

-He also loves to go admiring the lights with the latter, always pointing out everything he sees

-"GAAAAASP...AN ENTIRE TREE MADE OF LIGHTS? AM I DREAMING?" "I'd say it's real, would you like to take a picture next to it?" "Yes, please!"

-Every year he wishes for the city to finally be covered in snow, but sadly, when you live in a hot country like Italy, that's most likely going to remain a fantasy

-He really likes wearing those oversized, horrible Christmas-themed sweaters, and genuinely thinks they're cute. He hopes for someone to wear them with him, but nobody ever seems to accept

-He tried convincing Fugo once, it uhm...Didn't go too well. But one of these years, he's going to get Giorno to wear one, he's sure of it!

-Nari still believes in Santa, and Bruno will personally ari the crap out of anyone who dares to tell him that he's not real. He leaves some cookies and milk in front of the tree in the living room, saying that he's going to stay awake the entire night to finally see him. He always ends up falling asleep...So one of the members of the gang has to carry him over to bed

-During Christmas lunch, he will 100% sure overeat, to the point where he can barely stand up from the chair, but still denying verything and acting like his stomach isn't about to explode

Fugo! 🍓

-Similar to Giorno, Fugo doesn't have any particular happy memories of Christmas from his childhood

-His entire family used to reunite to celebrate together. At first sight, it seemed like nothing was wrong: everyone was having fun with their loved ones, but for Fugo...It just felt so fake

-He knew that in the moment his relatives left, his parents would have gone back to their strict and distant behavior. Even during this time of the year, they still pressured him, just in a softer way. They wouldn't let him rest until he finished all the homework his teachers gave for Christmas Holidays, they wouldn't let him play with his other cousins, saying that he was too mature, and the list went on

-The only thing that comforted him was his grandmother, whom the rest of the family only invited for pity. She was the only one that would actually give Fugo something a child would genuinely like, like a puzzle or a plushie

-He was the first member to join Bucciarati's squad, so I'm guessing that they must have spent one Christmas together, just the two of them

-At first, the blonde tried to convince Bruno to just leave him alone, inviting him to celebrate with his relatives, saying that he would have been okay on his own

-Obviously, a good mom would never leave his child, so he declined his propose. For some reason...The man's behavior reminded Fugo a lot of his grandmother, and that was the first Christmas this Strawberry boy cherished in his heart

-While they mostly kept it to something simple, when the others arrived things started to get more and more loud, especially with Narancia

-Even though he would rather just spend the day relaxing at home with something warm to drink, he always ends up being dragged into whatever Nari and Mista are planning on doing. He fell like...10 times when they went ice skating together

-Fugo still acts kinda moody towards this time of the year, as his pride is too high for him to admit that he likes something so 'sentimental'

-He's also super done with having to go shopping with Mista to buy groceries, but he has to help in one way or another

-"Alright...Mista, Fugo, you two will buy all the ingredients I'm going to need"

"Urgh...It's cold outside, and I don't want to wait in line...Do I really have to?"

"Oh? Would you rather setting up the decorations with Giorno and Narancia?"

Cut to Nari already covered in lights while giggling like a kid

"...Just give me the list already"

"Wow, rude"

-Speaking of which, Fugo's immune system is not uhm...The best, and this means that he's always super scared of catching a cold in this period. While he doesn't show it, it'd pain him a lot to ruin everyone else's fun with his sickness

-He constantly wears super heavy clothes, even when they're at home, with all the windows closed and the wood burning in the fire place

-He always looks like a potato sack in the photos, but that doesn't really bother him a lot

-He isn't very good when it comes to making presents. He tries, and remembers to buy them on time, but he's not a particularly creative boy. He's that kind of person that would mostly just buy clothes or relatively 'simple' things, not that I can really blame him...That's pretty much all he received when he was a child

Abbacchio! ⏮️

-Oh boy...OH BOY! The Grinch himself, the Christmas hunter, the gloomy Lord in person

-I like to think that Abbacchio was one of the very few very people in the gang that actually grew up with a loving family, so he was more than happy to celebrate Christmas when he was a child

-One year, his parents gave him a police officer hat as a present, and he refused to take it off for days, even though it was obviously too big for him

-This means that unlike Giorno and Fugo, whose reason for disliking Christmas goes back to this childhood, his hate towards it is much more recent and somewhat less 'justified'

-After the loss of his colleague, he became apathetic to almost everything around him, and this Holiday was not spared. It was quite the opposite, to be honest

-He can't stand the whole cheerful and happy atmosphere, he thinks it's suffocating and makes him sick. Plus, "having a bunch of brats jumping up and down, singing lame carols and decorating the house like it's some birthday party" doesn't help

-Despite Narancia's efforts, the only one who can really get him out of this mood (pun intended) is Bucciarati

-"Just stop it already, Bruno. Go have fun with the children, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't care about any of this?"

-"And how many times do I have to tell you that you're not going to get rid of me that easily?"

-"...Whatever"

-Honestly, what he likes the most about this festivity is that he has an excuse for getting drunk af without anyone complaining. He takes the fanciest and most expensive bottle of wine he has and drinks all of it in less than 10 minutes

-The gang even bets money on how long it's going to take him to finish the whole thing, either Mista or Narancia usually win, since the others tend to underestimate Abbacchio's alcoholic "abilities"

-He puts minimal effort, mostly just because he's forced to, in buying presents for the squad. He's also super biased and obviously plays favourites, even though he would never admit it

-He'd buy something super special for Bruno, try a bit harder to pick up something for Narancia and Trish and take the first thing he sees for Fugo and Mista. As for Giorno...He literally just buys some coal, writes 'Buon Natale' on a piece of paper and slaps it on the carbon

-He has a relatively simple job regarding the preparations for Holiday time, which is...

-"Very well, Abbacchio...You have to pick up the tree from the basement and bring it to the living room"

"Why me? That thing is so fu***ng heavy"

"Exactly, do you want somebody else to lift it up and break their spine? I'd rather not spend Christmas night at the hospital"

-"Sigh...Alright, just because YOU ask"

-Slowly, but surely, he's learning to love Christmas again, though he will still keep on acting grumpy and complain every time he has the chance to

Trish! 🎙

-This girl is ready to brighten up all the festivities! When it's time to have fun, Trish doesn't hesitate even for a moment!

-Similar to Narancia and Bruno, her mother couldn't afford anything super expensive or exciting during this time of the year (taking care of a child on your own is no easy job), but Trish never dared to complain. She was aware of the sacrifices her mother was making to make sure that her child had everything she needed, she wouldn't have thrown a tantrum for something superficial

-Donatella would always give her a new doll as a present, and she would play with it for entire hours without getting tired. Her favourite one was, of course, a blonde doll dressed up as a pop star

-Just like her daughter, she was extraordinarily good when it came to choosing what to wear, which means that when Trish entered her 'teen phase', the woman would gift her a dress instead. Needless to say, the girl loved it every time!

-Speaking of which, after becoming part of the gang, her favourite "Christmas activity", if it counts, was going shopping! I mean...Do you think a person like her would miss out on the Sales? Please

-She doesn't like going on his own though, and brings along somebody with her. That 'somebody's ends up being Mista most of the times, which is literally just DRAGGED out of his room to the shopping centre

-Trish is that sort of person (I mean...I don't know if that's a thing in other countries, but it's pretty much a meme here in Italy) who insists that she's on a diet even during the Holiday season, but every single time someone offers something to eat, she replies with "Whatever, I'll just start next week" or "I'll start after New Year".

-Before she knows, it's the 8th of January and she hasn't been on a diet even for a day.

-One day, she'd like to travel around the world and see how they celebrate this Festivity in other countries. As you can already tell, she valued the materialistic part of Christmas than the 'spiritual' one, and she knows that in a lot of places it isn't considered a religious Holiday in the first place

-One thing she dislikes is how she's forced to wear super heavy and long clothes, she hates them and insists that they make her look fat (which is absolutely not true)

-She LOVES taking pictures of everything! Food? Yes. Decorations? Yes. Gifts? Yes. Just photos in general where the seven of them are together? Y E S!

-Some of them try to run away when they realize that Trish is about to start a freaking photoshoot, but their struggles are always vain, especially since she has Bruno's support

-"Come oooooon, just one last picture!" "Trish, for the love of God, the lasagna is getting cold" "So what? Microwaves exist for a reason" "We are NOT going to ruin all this food by putting it in the Microwave!"

-Being the singer of the group, she takes any opportunity she has to sing a Christmas-themed song, both Carols and modern/pop songs like 'All I want for Christmas'. Half of the times she doesn't even understand the lyrics, but that's not going to stop her for sure

-She definitely doesn't forget to buy presents for the others. After she goes shopping so much, how could she? Most people think it's lame to receive a clothes as a present, but we're taking about Trish here!

-She knows very well how every member likes to dress, and she surely doesn't have problems with her budget. She will pick something for each one of her companions even better than what they would take for themselves

-Lastly, her 'task' is to decorate the tree, which is one of the longest assignments that also require a lot of attention and precision. Why, you may ask? Because that thing is freaking huge, that's why. Giorno and Narancia will probably help her out once they're done with their own decorations, the three of them have a lot of fun together!

#jjba part 5 #jjba mista #jjba fugo #jjba bruno #jjba headcanons #jojo #jojo's bizzare adventure vento aureo #jojo golden wind #vento aureo #jojo vento aureo #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo headcanons #jjba trish #jjba narancia #jjba bucciarati #jjba abbacchio #giornogiovanna #giorno #buccigang #team bucciarati #brunobucciarati #giorno giovanna #naranciaghirga #narancia ghirga #mista guido #guido mista #fugo pannacotta #abbacchio leone #trish una

[storiesforallfandoms]

awful ~ dani ardor;midsommar

word count: 2712

request?: yes!

“Dani from Midsommar imagine about the reader being jealous of Christian and hating how bad he treats Dani?”

description: in which she tries to convince her best friend to leave her awful boyfriend, but there’s other motives in her mind for it

pairing: dani ardor x female!reader

warnings: swearing, toxic relationships, mentions of death

masterlist

I walked through the door and saw Dani sat on our shared couch, her cheeks pink and tear stained and her eyes puffy. I tried to resist an eye roll as I knew immediately what this was about: Christian.

Christian was Dani’s emotionally distance, mentally abusive, toxic boyfriend that she had been dating for years, but only recently had he began to grow so toxic, and we all - meaning myself and even Christian's friends - knew it was because he didn’t want to have to deal with Dani’s PTSD over the death of her sister and parents.

He was a giant asshole. He constantly dismissed Dani and her emotions, he would berate her for being so emotional sometimes, especially on important days such as the birthdays of her late family members, he would constantly blow her off for his friends, or just because he wanted to. I could never understand why she put up with him, especially when she was so aware of how awful he was.

When she realized I had walked through the door, Dani quickly wiped the tears from her face. “Oh, hey (Y/N). I didn’t know you’d be back so soon.”

“I was let go early. Slow day,” I responded. “Everything alright?”

She nodded, but wouldn’t meet my eye. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

I believed that about as much as I believed in Big Foot, but I couldn’t force Dani to talk to me if she didn’t want to. That would just be more damaging to her, and the last thing she needed was anyone else being damaging.

I moved to my room to change out of my clothes and when I returned to the living room, Dani was staring at the TV intently, as if watching a very interesting show or movie, but it wasn’t on. I knew she was gone somewhere in her head, trying to justify the way Christian was treating her. She was always like this after one of their fights.

I sat myself next to her, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and look at me. “Sorry, (Y/N). I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Christian?”

She looked down at her hands, which was enough of an answer for me. “What’s going on this time?”

She winced at the question and I wondered if she realized how often this happened, or how often I noticed. She and Christian always tried to act happy and normal in front of people, especially me since I seemed to be the only one in our friend group with the common sense to try and convince Dani to break up with Christian, but they weren’t that great at acting when Christian really had no idea how to not be such an asshole.

“It’s the one year anniversary of mom, dad, and Terri’s death,” she explained. “My grandparents aren’t exactly talking to me, they say they see too much of my parents or Terri in me to really want to be around me, so I asked Christian if he’d go to the graveyard with me and place flowers on their graves and just be with me while I grieved where I don’t have any other family.”

“And what was his response to that?” I asked, although I already knew fully well what he said.

She wiped her eyes again as new tears began to form. Her voice was shaky as she responded, “He told me he doesn’t want to go because that’s too sad and graveyards make him feel weird. I told him we wouldn’t be there long and then we can go back to his place for the night, and he said he didn’t want me to be over if I was going to be all weepy and emotional. He said he and the guys are supposed to drink and play video games and that me being there would only ruin that if I was going to get emotional.”

She was trying so hard to be strong, and I knew it was just because she didn’t want me to remind her of how awful Christian was and tell her to break up with him again. And truthfully, I didn’t want to remind her anymore. I didn’t want to put her in a tough spot between him and me, even if I didn’t like him.

So, instead of saying my usual spiel, I stood from the couch and extended a hand to her. Dani looked up at me in confusion. “Get your butt up and let’s go to the nearest open floral shop. We’ll get flowers for your parents and Terri and we’ll go to the graveyard together.”

Her eyes widened. “Really? You’ll do that for me?”

“Of course I will. Dani, this is a hard day for you, you deserve to grieve or mourn it however you want, without being made upset by stupid boys. Now, come on, if we wait too long there won’t be any good flowers left.”

After going to two floral shops to get the flowers Dani wanted, we drove to the graveyard where her parents and sister were buried. The whole ride there, Dani’s phone was ringing like crazy. Finally, she sent a quick message to whoever was calling before shutting her phone off.

Dani looked out at the grave of her family and I could see her falling apart. She had been struggling to move on from it all in the past year, and I couldn’t blame her for that at all. She lost her entire family, and it seemed as though no one cared besides me.

She got out of the car first and I followed, carrying the flowers. She stood over their graves before turning and extending a hand to me. I passed her the first bouquet and she placed it next to her mother’s name, then the next to her father, and the final one to Terri.

“I miss you guys,” she said, her voice beginning to shake again. “Everything sucks without you. I hate not having a mom or a sister to talk to about my problems, or having a dad to give me advice or to threaten boys. I miss seeing your faces and hearing your voices every day. I miss you guys so much.”

She buried her head in her hands as she began to sob again. I quickly took her into my arms and cradled her to me. I allowed her to cry on my shoulder and I rubbed her back, soothingly. I tried to hold back my own tears, but it was hard. I hated seeing Dani so sad, but it seemed like that’s the only way she could feel lately.

I wasn’t sure how long we were standing there, to me it felt like just a few minutes, but the sound of a car approaching, and seeing whose car it was, told me it had been much longer than that.

Dani raised her head from my shoulder to watch as Christian put his car in park and got out. I tried to contain my eye roll as I shoved my hands into my pockets and looked at the ground.

“What happened to your phone? I’ve been trying to call you for nearly an hour,” he said as he approached us.

“I told you I was coming here,” Dani defended, her voice still shaky. “Why did you even come look for me?”

“I was worried.”

Yeah, the tone in your voice sounds real worried.

“Worried about what?” Dani asked. “I told you I was coming with (Y/N), I wasn’t going to hurt myself and nothing was going to happen to me.”

Christian shifted, as if he had something more to say on that topic, but instead responded, “I was just worried, okay? You weren’t answering and it worried me. Let’s go home.”

He reached for her but Dani pulled away, which shocked me. She had never done that before. She always followed Christian, no matter what he said or did.

She glared daggers at him as she responded, “No. I’m not going with you Christian.”

Christian’s eyes widened in shock. “Why not?”

“Because I’m so sick of this!” Dani snapped. “I asked you to come with me to mourn my parents and my sister on the one year anniversary of their death, and you blew me off for your friends! You didn’t even need to get out of the car! I just needed some emotional support right now, I’ve needed emotional support for the last year!”

I could tell this was pissing Christian off, but he tried to remain calm. “You know I’m just not good with stuff like this, and I had already had plans with the guys. I didn’t want to ruin them - ”

“That’s the shittiest excuse ever,” Dani hissed. “That does not make the situation better, nor does you not being good with this stuff. I get it, you don’t understand what I’m going through, and I’d never be mad at you for that. You haven’t lost someone close to you, much less your parents, but Christian, saying you don’t want to go with your girlfriend to comfort her on the one year anniversary of her parents and sister’s death because you don’t want to ruin plans with your friends?! I’m not saying the guys a

ren’t important, but you have plenty of nights with the guys! You fucking live with them! I’ll never have a night with my parents ever again, or with Terri! I ask you for this one fucking thing and you can’t even stop being an asshole long enough to do that!”

Her words echoed through the silent graveyard. I felt as though this wasn’t a conversation I should be hearing, but I didn’t want to leave Dani. Even if I just went to sit in the car, I’d still be too far away if Christian tried to do anything to her.

He ran a hand through his hair before extending it to Dani again. “Look, Dani, I’m sorry, okay? I’ve been a shitty boyfriend. I haven’t been trying to understand what you’ve been going through because I’m not good at grief or emotions. That’s not fair to you. I’m so sorry. Just...come home with me and let me make it right.”

I had heard this a million times, and of course he had never changed. It was just a manipulation tactic to try and get Dani to stay around, and I expected it to work this time, just like it did every other time. So to say I was shocked when Dani backed away from him and told him, “No Christian, I’m done with you trying to make it right” is an understatement.

Christian’s shocked face mirrored my own feelings. “What?”

“I’m done,” Dani repeated. “I’m done with you being a shitty boyfriend. You keep telling me you’re going to change but then you never do, and I’m done with it. I’m done with this relationship. We are over. I never want to see you again. I’ll leave whatever you have at my apartment on my doorstep and you can bring my stuff over, and that’s it. That’s the end.”

In a second, Christian’s shock turned to anger as he turned to look at me. “You. This is all your fault! You never liked me, and now you have Dani brainwashed to think the same way!”

I scoffed. “Oh yeah, I brainwashed her to realize you’re a shitty human being. I know it’s hard to believe Christian, but Dani is a big girl and can make big girl decisions all on her own.”

He took a step forward to try and approach me, but Dani quickly got between us and shoved Christian as hard as she could. “Fucking leave Christian!”

“You don’t see what she’s doing to you?” he asked. “She’s trying to manipulate you into breaking up with me so you’ll run into her arms. She’s been in love with you since day one, Dani, and she just can’t take it that you don’t like her back because she has a pussy.”

I tried not to let the hurt show, but it was hard when Christian knew that the one way to target me was through my feelings for Dani. I don’t know how he knew, as I never told anyone and tried not to make my feelings so obvious, but he had been insisted for nearly a year that I was trying to break him and Dani up because I was in love with her. I’d never admit to her that that was part of my intentions, but there was a small voice in the back of my mind that kept convincing me that if Dani and Christian broke up that maybe I’d have a chance with her.

Dani shook her head. “Just go Christian. It’s over, for good.”

Christian glared at us both before going back to his car. He started it and sped past us, tearing up the grass of the graveyard as he went. Dani sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, or if I should say anything at all.

She turned to look at me and decided, “Let’s go home. I want to watch movies and eat junk food.”

I agreed and we made our way back to the car. The drive was silent until we hit our first red light. We were there for some time before Dani finally said, “You know he’s wrong, right?”

I looked over at her, furrowing my eyebrows. “Wrong about what?”

“A lot of things,” she responded, smiling slightly at her own joke, “but also about the fact that I don’t like you cause you’re a girl.”

My grip tightened on the steering wheel, and I hoped she hadn’t noticed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s been brushing aside my sexuality for years,” she said. “I told him when we met that I was bisexual, but he kept telling me that it was just a phase because I started to date him. So his point of me not liking you cause you’re a girl is invalid.”

I was shocked to hear this. Dani had never told me she was bisexual, but maybe she didn’t because of Christian. I knew how hard it was to come out to people who didn’t believe that bisexuality was a thing. Now, I just kept my sexuality to myself until I knew for sure that someone wouldn’t mock me or turn their back on me for it.

“So,” I started, still confused on where this conversation was going, “what are you trying to say?”

Dani looked at me and smiled. “I’m trying to say that I like you as more than a friend or a roommate, and I think I have for some time, but I didn’t want to admit it because I was still with Christian. But now Christian is out of my life, and I’m never getting back with him, so I feel confident enough to tell you that I really like you (Y/N).”

I was so shocked that I hadn’t noticed the light turn green until the car behind me honked. I drove off, trying to focus on the road, but it was hard after that confession.

“Really?” I finally asked when I could manage to get my tongue to work again.

Dani laughed. “Yes, really. Do you actually like me? Or was Christian just making up shit so he didn’t have to take the blame for our breakup?”

I shook my head. “No, he’s right. I...I do like you, too. I have for a while, but I’d never try and break you two up because of that.”

“I know. We were just toxic, we needed to end things.” She reached over and put a hand on one of mine, that was still clutching the steering wheel. “I just...I need some time to get over the breakup, and to properly move on from my parents and Terri. Would it be too much to ask if you’d...wait for me to be ready?”

I looked over at her and smiled warmly. “It’s definitely not too much. Take all the time you need, I’ll be waiting whenever you’re ready.”

#dani ardor #dani ardor imagine #dani ardor x reader #florence pugh #florence pugh imagine #florence pugh x reader #midsommar #midsommar imagine #one shot #imagine #request

[fiery-assassin-arc]

꧁༒☬𝓒𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓾𝓻𝓮 –𝓘𝓻𝓲𝓼’𝓼 𝓟𝓞𝓥☬༒꧂

He remains still, not wanting to attack. Hands behind his back. Gentle smile. I am still holding the fire poker in my hands, aimed at him. Part of me wants to attack, but he knows I wouldn’t. I was blinded by rage that day.

 He knows I’m haunted by what he did.

 I wonder if he had time to reflect.

 “Put that down, Phoenix.”

“Why are you in my home?” I accuse, taking a step closer, placing it by his chest. “How are you in my home?”

 “I’m the Grandmaster of lock-picking as well as the Lin Kuei.” He explains, raises his eyebrow ever slightly. I should have known. “As for the why,” He looks at the fire poker, me, then at the improv weapon again. “I would like to talk it over with you, if you’re willing to listen to me.”

 I chew the inside of my cheek. Contemplating my options. I could listen to him, or get him out of the house. I never did listen to him that day. Even at the pyre, I stood far away from the others as they mourned. I was angry, but how I had to force his hand to have Frost be buried along with the others… I don’t know if I can forgive him. But I’ve also grown so much with him, he’s helped me slowly overcome my fear of the dark (managed, not completely eradicated).

 I put the fire poker on the rack, and gesture him to the kitchen. “Hungry? I’m sure you’ve had a long journey.” At his shrug of indifference, I make my way to the kitchen, checking to see if he follows.

 Just because I’m angry at him, doesn’t mean I no longer respect him.

 He sits on the bar stool, looking uncomfortable as I grab ingredients for colcannon. Potatoes, kale, butter, heavy cream. His cold is familiar I clear my throat, hoping it could ease the tension here. “How are things?”

 “The temple has slowly come back to normal. Some new recruits have joined.” He tells me, looks at how I cut the potatoes. Even, use the knife to peel the skin carefully. “Some of the other members miss you, Phoenix. I have missed you.”

 The knife slams down on the cutting board, remembering the name I gave myself.  It was the rebirth from the ashes. But now I am ash, nothing to spark me. “I don’t know if I can come back stronger like last time.” I say to him. I continue cooking. Boiling the potatoes.

 “I have watched you go from a little, barely sparking ember on wood to a forest fire. Destructive, powerful, confident. You have grown in the past five years. Whatever ails you, you will overcome.” There’s pride in his voice, a gentle smile that I haven’t seen in a while.

 “Yeah, but now I’m back to where I started.” I argue, before chopping up the kale. “You never did answer my question on why you’re here.”

 “I know you have taken a leave of absence. Because you are upset with me.” Sub-Zero sighs, and his hands slap his thighs. “On that day, I thought I could possibly disengage her thoughts, put her in temporary rest. But Raiden decided that it was best to eliminate her entirely. And I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him in time, or didn’t say anything to prevent it.”

 I look over at him. His ocean eyes show an amount of regret. I never did look at him that day. All I say was someone who indirectly took something most important from me.

 “You both had such a powerful bond, the same Hanzo and I once had. When she challenged me, I made the choice of exile because I would not, could not kill her; deep down I cared for her like one would a daughter to a father. Same with you.” He sighs, and I pass him the bowl of potatoes, and the masher. He chuckles. “What’s this?”

 “Mashing potatoes is better than hurting yourself. Trust me. Do it.” I offer, leaning on the kitchen counter.  

 “That won’t be left unchecked.” Sub-Zero says, and proceeds to mash the vegetable, continues. “I was angry with her when I found she had allied herself with Sektor. I did not hold her back, she simply needed more guidance, even though she was Chief. And I remember how you were hurt by my choices, yet you remained loyal. Why?”

 Why. That’s what it all boils down to, does it? Everyone has a why, but do I? I sigh, crack my knuckles. “I did what I thought was right that day. I argued with her earlier that it was foolish to do so, but she didn’t push me to join her.” I look into the bowl of potatoes—looks good enough. But he’s still mashing them in a clockwise motion. “I trusted your judgment, in the end. And I believed, maybe, maybe she’d come back to us.” To me.

 “I remember you told me Frost didn’t cyberize you. She set you free.”  

 “She did. But we fought before that. I don’t know what provoked her, but I noticed her movements…” Sub-Zero pushes the bowl to me, and I prepare the rest of the dish. Adding butter, cream. “It was if she held some sort of restraint. Not completely, but enough to overpower, and get a chance to escape. It was before you and Master Hasashi arrived.” I add salt and pepper. “I think then, she still protected me.” Toss in the kale. Get some bowls for us.

 “At least there were still parts of her that were human. Her love for you never left her even when she changed.” He reaches a hand over, hesitant. I slowly take it, embrace the chill. “I hope what I said is enough for closure.”

 I feel a lump in my throat, unable to melt with the heat, and I feel tears burn my eyes. Second time today. It’s nice to hear how he really felt that day.

 “It’s a start, but it doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you right away. I may need time.”  

 “That is something I will accept, Phoe—Iris.” He sends me a crooked smile. It’s a comfort to me.  “And know, you will always have a home at the temple.”

 “And you have a place to stay at the palace,” I offer. “But why do I sense there’s something else…”

 Sub-Zero presses his lips into a thin line. “What you said earlier. About cooking is better than hurting yourself. The way you held the fire poker, I notice a look in your eyes: fear.” When I eat as a distraction, he goes on. “Something happened to you, did it?”

 I swallow, my food suddenly bland in my mouth. “Grandmaster . . .”

 Sub-Zero takes a deep breath, gently pats my shoulder. “I won’t make you tell me, but when you get the chance, you know I’ll be lending an ear.”

 I nod. “I appreciate it. You should eat your colcannon, it’s going to get cold.”

 “I’m sorry—my what?”

 “Colcannon. It’s potatoes with a green vegetable in it. It’s really good.” I gesture to his bowl.  “Try some.”

 “I guess I will indulge.”  Sub-Zero takes a spoonful of the dish, his mouth twisting into a frown. “It’s . . . good.”

 “Do you not like the food or my cooking?”

 “Erm..”

 “You’re a shit liar, Grandmaster Sub-Zero.” At that, we both chuckle softly, the fireplace our music as we try to reform a bond like a lost father and daughter.

 This is something. Not like therapy. Or maybe it is. Because a slight weight is off of my chest.

  Bend the knee. Lift the leg, Stretch. Repeat until it does something.  My pointe shoes are almost ruined, the dirt under the padding and blood seeping at the toe. But it shows dedication, it shows my determination.

 I landed the role of the Black Swan, and I’m doing my best to make my moveset more . . . seductive. I would have once gone for the White Swan, but shockingly enough I landed a role that was new to me. I’ll take it.

 I walk to the center of the room, and start the dance, Christian screeching words of encouragement with Wren watching. I made one of my rooms a makeshift ballet studio. “Thanks buddy.” I say softly.

 “How does it feel being the Black Swan instead one of the little swans?”

 “It feels great.” I say, doing a pirouette. “It was fun being the cute swan, but now, being kind of like the bad guy, I’m enjoying it.”

 Wren smiles, and lightly coughs into her hand. That’s the second time today.  And earlier this morning at brunch. “Let’s hope you won’t become like that ballerina in that movie. Don’t overwork yourself, and don’t stress.” Wren reassures me, shaking off an invisible feeling.

 “Do you want some tea? You’re acting like you have a cold.” I stop my practice, and lean against the bar. “Please don’t tell me you caught a cold.”

 She scoffs. “What are you worried about? You don’t get sick.”

 “Not often. But it’s annoying when the symptoms pop up. I’ll get chills instead of fevers.” I shudder, before redirecting our conversation back. “But you’ve been warm. Your temperature is higher.”

 “Maybe I am catching a cold.” I take a step back in fear. She scratches her head. “Or the flu. I’ve been a little nauseated.”

 “Have you? For how long?”

 “A few days.” Wren sighs. “I’m pretty sure it’s nothing. Now, you’ve made me your ballet coach. So I say we keep going. Come on, show me . . . something alluring.”

 I laugh,  turn the music back on. I arch my back, my hand floating above my head, spinning on my toes. I make my movements fluid, but sharp. As I look at  Wren, I notice how she almost looked a little tired than usual.

 Ever since the marriage between her and my brother, Wren has been like a big sister to me, making me laugh and giving me advice, especially when it came to dating. Being myself. But how can I, now? When I no longer know myself?

  I spin in a flurry, going at least five times. Stopping once and going once again. Looking at the mirrors. Then I see her.

 Someone who died years ago.

 The vibrant red hair. The ember eyes, red from angry tears. A bruise under her eye. Blood on her lip. The dress she’s wearing is black. Darkened by obvious stains.

 It’s a younger version of me.

I trip my spin and fall on the ground, pain radiating up my leg. My breathing is fast. My heart hurts. What the—why am I seeing a young version of me?

 Christian screeches in worry and flies over to me. His head touches my cheek. “I’m okay, boy.” I tell him. Wren looks at me with concern, helping me up. “No, really I’m fine. Let’s keep going, yeah?”

 “…Are you sure? That was a nasty fall.”

 “I’m sure. And turn up the music louder.” I say, and practice on the other side of the room. Making sure not to look at any mirrors.

#tw blood mention #tw death mention #Of Embers and ashe #{{ Oops

[celestenicolegarcia]

Valentines Day

Valentines Day. A day where people celebrate being in love or having someone to love on. Usually when we think of Valentines Day, we think of spending time with our significant other and having sweet treats and great food. People that are alone however, tend to either be on the spectrum of hating Valentines Day or not even caring about it because it's a government holiday. The annoyed single people hate it because of the sappy couple postings, cheesy romantic comedies, stalking their ex’s profiles to see what they're doing, and themselves spending it alone. 

As a single person myself I can honestly say that I am not upset that I am single this Valentines Day. Maybe its just me getting older and not caring about having someone or maybe I’ve just been tired of the men I have been dating that I don’t feel the need to date anymore. Most of my life I have been in relationships that have the length of 6 months to 3 years being the longest. As far as being in love, I can recall myself truly being in love with a man twice in my lifetime. One was my high school sweetheart and the other was a guy I dated a few years ago, neither shall I say were something I want today, A Godly man.

I don’t know about you but I have had my fair share of men throughout my life. Before I came to know Christ, I was in and out of relationships faster than you could imagine. Some weren’t even real relationships and they were mostly hookups. I did sleep around for money, food, drugs, or just simply wanted the affection. Don’t get it twisted though, even when I found Christ when I was 24 years old I did have a few slip-ups. I still had sex but this time it was within a relationship so I thought it was “okay” since we were together. I just look back at that girl and think man... why didn’t you just run to Jesus when you were lonely? why a warm body? what was going on at home that you had to run off? why did you disobey your parents and screw up your friendships?

A lot of these questions were hard to think of at the time but I simply didn’t care. I just thought since I believed and gave my life to Jesus I was okay and going to heaven. But I was wrong now looking back. Talk about someone who was lost and just wanting a quick fix of affection but not wanting to go to the source. I would always tell myself that I was perfect and that it was the men always screwing up, now I look back at that girl and say get off your high horse and look in the mirror because you are no saint. You are a lukewarm christian trying to make it in the world and not even looking up at the father, only looking at yourself. And that was the breaking point for me to start turning my life around and taking my life more seriously as well as my relationship with God. Attending bible study, going to church, having accountability partners, and managing my own mental health with therapy. Believe me, when I started looking at Jesus and not of the worldly standards my life got clearer but harder at the same time. When you give your life up for Jesus its not always going to be easy, the more you reach up to Him the more the devil is going to wanna block you from your blessings.

 Would you believe me if I told you that I said I’ve never been proposed to? I’m 28 now about to be 29 and I just think to myself sometimes ...why? I’m a good looking woman, attending school online to get my masters degree for psychology, attending church and bible studies, working a part time job doing my hair business since I have my cosmetology license, and I am pretty nice and shall I say funny. Let me tell you, the thoughts of feeling not good enough have come into my mind but I know those are not pure or the right thoughts that Jesus wants me to be thinking. Don’t even get me started on my family members asking me when I’m going to have a baby or pressuring me to adopt. Before you start thinking let me stop you right there and say I love children. I think they are the cutest little people in the world but right now kids are the very last thing on my mind!

I want to encourage you and encourage myself as I feel the Holy Spirit is within me typing up this blog to let you know that you don’t need to be swooped up like in those Disney movies to be truly happy. Let me also say that if you are married or in a relationship am I by no means trying to knock down your union with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep war,. But how can one keep warm alone?” Marriage is a union and should be sacred. Honor your husband and honor your wife, you both are a team made in the image of our Holy Father.

God created us to love one another no matter what. Even if someone else is having what you wish you had, let them be happy in their life. Love them and support them. Be a good friend and helping hand. Whenever you get angry or jealous of someone else's success remember that God isn't finished with you yet! He has more blessings coming your way and just because you aren’t happy yourself does not mean you take out your personal feelings on others. If someone is mean to you or belittling you because you express how you don’t wanna be alone or hurt because you and your boyfriend/girlfriend broke up, take the high road. Don’t let anyone steal your joy because joy can only come from the Lord and no one else. He is after all the one who created happiness! 

I remember when I would take things so personally and I would want to hurt the people who have hurt me. Even if they did deserve to be punished, I know the one who has that power to give me justice. I have yet to type down my testimony on here but I will when I have the time because its pretty lengthy but you will see why I think the way that I do now. Before I used to hold grudges really badly towards the people who have hurt me. When I tell you I have been through the wringer, I mean it. I have been sexually abused by people who I thought would never hurt me, I have been verbally abused by people who I thought would never hurt me and last by not least I have both been verbally and sexually abused from people I hardly even knew. I have been told I am scum of the earth and no one will want me and I have also been told that no one is going to want leftover goods. I have been sexually assaulted in a place of work. I have been raped by a few men in my past. Some I knew and some I didn’t. All those things have stuck with me but they do not define me. The only one who defines me is Jesus Christ and thank God I have a savior because I can’t live this life all by myself, If I try I would probably would have died by now. I have in the past held these situations in my heart and it has caused me so much pain. Trust me, I wanted revenge but I never got it. Then God really brought me down to a place where I forgave them and myself. My anger cannot bring justice for what they have done, only God can. One movie that really sticks out to me is The Shack, now that is a good movie to watch about forgiveness. If you have time, check it out because you won't regret it.

Another verse comes to mind for me is Luke 6 27-33 “But to you who are willing to listen I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from. you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you only love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!”

Jesus said that when we love people even when they have hurt us. We have to be the ones that rise up from the earthy things going on in the world. I know I tended to go a little off topic but days like this remind me of my past and it brings me to the present. I want to let you know that you aren't alone today. You do have a valentine and his name is Jesus Christ. He will always be perfect. He will never leave you. He will always be there for you no matter what time of the day or night it is. He will never call you names or do things to hurt you, only help you become the best version of yourself. Valentines Day is a fun holiday but it does not define who love truly is. Love is a person and His name is Jesus. I encourage you to reach out to someone today, even if you aren’t feeling like it. Tell someone you love them today and you are there for them. Tell them that you are thinking of them. Jesus loves you and He will never let you go. I remember when my pastor said this line and ill never forget it. “Once you let Him in, He won't move out!” and I firmly believe that til the day I die. 

If you haven’t already and you would like to give your life to Jesus today repeat after me. Jesus, I need you. I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. But I need a savior and I’m ready for my life to change for the better. Take me out of myself and let me live the life you promised for me. I love you. I accept you into my life. I welcome you. Amen.

Thank you for taking the time to read my second blog post! I really enjoy doing these posts. They help me vent what I feel and I want to let someone know that they are loved today! 

Much love,

Celeste

#christian #christianblog #jesus #God #love #valentinesday #lonely #mentalhealth

[szivtalan]

8, 9, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 64, 65, 70 (aside from Kagami 😂), 71, 72, 79, 82, 86, 87, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 for the "Asks, why not" thing please? (Omg that's soo much, I'm sorry I got carried away ^^')

8) Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Average height, bordering on short. Broad shoulders, thick arms and thighs, square face, slightly projecting ears (one pierced, one with a stretched lobe), bushy arched brows, thick square glasses, faded dark red hair, dark brown eyes, butt chin. I look pale and perpetually sleep deprived.

9) What do you/did you study?

I was in a teacher’s training program for English and Hungarian language and literature, and I’m planning to go back to school to study sociology!

16) What do you look for in a SO?

Consciously: understanding, fun, sweet, kind and accepting. Unconsciously: somewhat broken and in dire need of emotional help which I’m desperate to provide lmao.

19) Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Eh, u know, it depends? I don’t think I’m fit for a serious relationship right now, so I’d prefer casual stuff atm, but on the long run I do want a partner to share my life with.

20) What are your deal breakers?

Really obnoxious people, ignorance and bigotry I guess. And I’m not keen on someone pushing or disrespecting my boundaries, either.

21) How was your day?

It was good!! My bro, his girlfriend and my friend tagged along to get our (me and my soon-to-be sis-in-law’s) ears pierced, and then my friend and I got a loot of food. I didn’t exactly feel good enough abt myself to be comfortable outside, but I got a lot of random kindness and that was Nice.

22) Favourite food & drink

Food: teriyaki chicken and seafood pasta, drink: ginger ale and iced coffee

23) What position do you sleep in?

I sleep half-curled up on my side, but I need to toss and turn a little until I find The Best Position.

25) Your fears

The dark, needles, rabbits (I don’t even know, dude), the fact that I’ll die without having made an impact on the world, being spoken about behind my back, being a bad influence on my friends.

28) Any pets?

Not right now! I used to have two rottweilers around the house growing up, but they both passed away sadly.

29) What are your hobbies?

Writing, sketching, basketball, getting on people’s nerves, researching typology, watchin movies idk?

31) What was your last awkward situation?

Asjhdh the ticket control guy told me to “Have a safe trip” and I said “You too!”. This rarely happens to me tho

32) What is your last regret?

Not holding my friend’s hand on public transport. It was…right…there….and she already told me she’s more than comfortable with physical touch! I’m a fool! Everyone thinks I hate touching but I don’t! I’m just shy!

34) Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Ehh. Kind of? As for believing, I believe more in ghosts, but I do see some patterns in different signs. I just try not to let it affect the way I see/interact with a person, because no one deserves to be prejudiced for whatever reason, especially not their date of birth. Tarot is just fun, and the cards r cool

35) Have any quirks?

I bite the skin on my fingers, scratch my acne, make my knees jump… most of it is just regular anxiety stuff tho so idk?? I do think I’m quirky, but there’s just too much weird stuff to list ‘em.

36) Your pet peeves

Cig/booze stink on a person, customers being rude, bigotry, interrupting other people… There’s quite some things that annoy me asjdgd

40) Last 5 things from your search history

Boku No Hero Academia, Hawks, duck emoji, Grumman fma, How To Train Your Dragon

41) What’s your device backgrounds?

My phone lockscreen rn is a beautiful KagaKuro fanart of them standing in the rain in yukatas, Kagami looming over Kuroko and shielding him from the rain and Kuroko reaching up to stroke his face; my phone background is an art of they/them pronouns tattooed on someone’s knuckles, their posture unsure; my laptop background is a screenshot from the movie Déva, of blue skies and a street lamp.

42) What do you daydream about?

…cu..cuddling,,my…crush……..

44) What's your religion/Your thought about religion

Short version: barf

Long version: I was raised catholic (even tho I was never baptized), and attended catholic school for 8 years which gave me a really warped idea of Christianity, Which made me a cynic & an agnostic or atheist by proxy. I harshly criticize the catholic church and faith but sometimes… when I do feel hopeless I get down on my knees and pray, so I guess if I let myself find my own faith I’d be a believer. But right now, I’m good just existing in my nihilistic bubble

45) Your personality type

Needy imeanwhat. In a typological sense, I’m an INFP in Myers-Briggs, 4 core 5 wing in Enneagram, melancholic or sanguine in the temperaments, et cetera. Basically I’m a sad daydreamer with unresolved issues and a need to do Art

47) Are you happy with your current life?

Nah bro. I like my friends and my workplace but I’d like to move out of home ASAP. I’d also… like to get therapy before I go and put myself out there.

48) Some things you've tried in your life

Playing the guitar, hostess work, weed, cigarettes, being blackout drunk, smoking from a hookah, cooking, football, handball, basketball, volleyball, cycling, sailing, driving, hitchhiking long distances, folk dancing, one-night stands, long-distance relationships, helping people in need…

50) Favourite colour to wear?

Olive green, midnight/navy blue, white, grey and black.

53) If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I’d… like to know how it would feel if I had a flat chest and a penis? I also want bigger Guns, and Abs, some more tattoos and maybe an eyebrow piercing.

55) Do you get complimented often?

I think so? I usually brush off compliments uhhh but yeah maybe! Maybe idk

58) Songs you're currently obsessed with?

My friend’s playlist reminded me that ‘Phenomenon’ by Thousand Foot Krutch exists. I’m also really into ‘San Francisco’ by The Mowgli’s atm and ‘Golden Time Lover’ by Sukima Switch!

59) Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

I mean, it’s not like it’s cringe or anything, I hate cringe culture BUT. I do have Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ stuck in my head rn

64) Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing pretty badly, play a bad tune on my guitar, drum on the edge of my table, so- Nah not really asdh

65) Do you like karaoke?

YES VERY MUCH I live and die for karaoke, last time I did it in front of an audience we sung the Shaman King opening at an anime con with friends, it was Rad

70) Your fictional crush/es

AH NO FUN Kagami’s my number one,,, let’s see then: Aomine, Roy Mustang, Kise, Mikoto Suoh, Hotch & Reid from Criminal Minds, Yagami Light, Jaime Lannister and Brienne from GoT, Rustin Cohle from True Detective, Shizuo Heiwajima from Durarara!!!, why is this list full of men I didn’t think I liked men this much

71) Which fictional character is you?

Eddie Brock from Venom I mean? He’s a whole ass mess.

79) How much time do you spend on the internet?

Yike. More than I’d be proud of.

86) Would you use death note, if you had one?

No way dude. I don’t fuck with that shit, karma would fuck me right back.

87) What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I’d eliminate money and power and just make it a huge peaceful hippie community or something idk

90) What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Donate me to a medical school I don’t care. Make use of me! I’m gonna be dead, I won’t have any more feelings left to be hurt or anything asdghdsg

91) If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

I’ve had a name in mind that I tried out once, but it didn’t really work out for me after all. I’m fine with Vee and Vic rn. Anything that isn’t my given name. I do want to change my surname to my mother’s, but if I do that I also want to give myself a different first name, and since That isn’t figured out yet, I’m just?? Call me whatever dude

94) Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

Ugh, I’m bad at these. 1) I have plenty of moles. 2) My eyesight is pretty good. 3) I’ve broken some bones before.

95) Cold or hot?

Cold in beverage, hot in weather.

96) Be a hero or be a villain?

Being a villain is way too much fun, but I have too strong of a conscience to pull that off, so… hero, I guess.

97) Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Asjhdf singing is funnier and more annoying, since I Cannot Sing

98) Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Dude I’m non-binary. Shapeshifting for Sure

99) Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Aight I’ll give in – I agree to immortality Just This Once.

#this was LONG as FUK #ask and i shall answer #i kindly skipped those i've already answered ^^' #thank u buddy!!! #meiyanaalexia #i didn't think i'd get too real with this but here i am

[szopenhauer]

What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about? I won’t even have kids...

What is your least favourite thing about your full name? it’s long, it’s polish, it’s feminine, it starts on a letter Z that is rarely used, people don’t know how to write my surname down, it reminds people of a stupid song that I hate etc. 

Do you like sunglasses? it’s complicated Do you think dreams can give us insight to things? sorta, sometimes Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk? what isn’t...

What is your favourite glass to drink from? prefer a mug When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? they were born in Poland where we still live What time is it in the country you get the most of your heratige from? 14.42 Would you rather live in the 1960’s or the 1910’s? 60s  Is the computer your only current light source? window/sun too Do you think you look good with a hat on? I’m ugly no matter what so...

Do you have anyone you fully trust? not fully, not even myself, some I just trust more than others  When did you last talk on the phone with someone? yesterday with M.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? kinda When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? mom, this day Was the last movie you watched a horror film? noooo Do you own a lot of tee shirts? shitload Do you handle pain well? been told  Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? I never threw up out of stress, I can feel nauseous though Do you enjoy your hairstyle? not really atm but it’s not the worst How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? none, ever Do you have a leather jacket? fake

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I’ve already heard everything I suppose... Do you write on your hands a lot? not anymore Do you think hugs are awkward? often Ever play Angry Birds? flappy bird only How late did you stay up last night? till mornin’ Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? mhm Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? they would have to be really stupid to choose mine tbh Is there a place you’d rather live right now? on my own... Do you go out often? lately Is there anyone who is overly nice to you? my current partner, I don’t deserve her If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? I’m not reading anything Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job How many scarves do you own, if any at all? uh oh :x

What is one way in which this year is different from last year? where should I start... Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and your life is too hard? for me it is too hard Did you do anything you regret within the last 24 hours? probably What is your favorite day to go grocery shopping? I don’t have a favorite day to go but I don’t shop on Sundays and Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays are usually the hardest to get anything  Would you follow God even if it meant losing your home, your source of food, all of your friends, or even your life? jeśli byłabym 100% pewna, że Bóg tego chce i co mam robić Who’s death has affected you the most? my brother’s Have you ever grown sunflowers? they didn’t turn out well Are you scared to stand up to a police officer? no idea What is your doctor’s first name? which one?

Do you hate political posts on facebook? when there’s plenty, especially wrong  How many pictures do you have stored on your computer? omg  Which type of camera do you prefer: digital or Polaroid? hard to tell Have you ever had a camera that took film? we had when I was still a kid Do you ever squirt whip cream onto a plate and then eat it by itself? disgusting Have you ever had a hot flash? common Are you ok? my heart hurts badly Would you rather wear purple glasses or black glasses? black If you’re a girl, do you ever shop in the boys or mens section? absolutely If you’re a guy, do you ever shop in the girls or womens section? I’m a woman What do you think of when you hear the word “Christian”? religious person lmfao How many pullover hoodies do you own? bunch Which do you take more: videos or photos? pics What is the most embarrassing thing you can think of happening? my imagination is vivid What are two names you used to get mixed up when you were younger? for example - Ada and Adrianna What do u think of the quote “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” I disagree Do you wear earmuffs when it’s cold out? I don’t own any

If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? on my phone, not computer What do you smell right now? luckily nothing much If you were an instrument, what would you be? smth annoying? Do you hate the usual 100 questions surveys? EX: Eye color boring Does your house have a doorbell? of course Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school? my classmate  If you were to get a pet turtle right now, what would you name it? mine was called Bob and I don’t want a new one  What’s your most hated commercial to watch? most of them are shit What was the last thing you charged? cellphone When you were younger, did you believe you could fly? if I did I would be dead by now (jumping out of window or smth) Favorite farm animal? chicken What’s your favorite name that begins with B? I don’t like polish names starting on B letter If someone payed you $500 would you take a bath in milk? why not Do you enjoy having time to yourself? :3 Can you do a cart wheel? still but crappy Do you like Ed Sheeran? blergh Would you rather become an author or teacher? author How many people are you currently texting? just 1 This time tomorrow, what will you be doing? hopefully spend time with @jonasz-cat Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? money Have you ever been inside a recording studio? I have not Would you rather visit Mars or Neptune? Neptune Does it bother you when people keep talking to you and you want to leave? very Have you ever texted a landline phone by accident? my sister did Do you like quotes about love or life better? love is part of life What color is your garage? not applicable Do you like it when people give you compliments? they’re lying Was your hair straight today? my hair is wavy Do you ever share things on Facebook? quizzes from buzzfeed, music link from yt and selfies Do you pick out your outfits for the next day the night before or the AM? am What color was your swim suit this year? bluish Do ladders scare you? I’m cautious

1 through 10, how would you rate your day? low Any specific reason why? how I feel physically and those mirror demons mostly + some minor things

Salt or pepper? salt If you look to your right & then look down.. What do you see? bag Did you use swear words today? sigh... What did you buy today? food

If you had the choice to meet three famous people, who would you choose? dead or alive? Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? dog is domestic ;)

Do you think people under fourteen should have sex? hell no How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage? 20+ What is something most people think of as lame, but you don’t? my interests? Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? just my teeth, fingers or eyes Do you like gore? no thx Would you rather receive a kiss on the cheek, or on the forehead? neck :P Have you ever had a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend flirt with you? someone who seriously tried to become my friend’s bf flirted with me and her sister and that’s one of reasons I say that you can lie with both actions AND words Where is your biological mother at the moment? kitchen Do you enjoy going places with your mother, like running errands? ... Do you have any annoying siblings? she indeed annoys me  How many people are in your immediate family? I count my parents and eventually my sister as immediate family Would you say you have good or bad luck? bad Do you like your laugh? uh... Do you hate it when people ask you how their survey was at the end? because they should do better, be more unique, sorry not sorry What are your plans for the rest of the day? we’ll see

Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? ... buttons? not zipper?... What does your last text say? it was the link to the article

Do you ever think about the past? I’m nostalgic and an overthinker Is math your favorite part of school? even in middle school when I was getting high grades for math I didn’t like it that much Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours? yesterday  You’ve taken fifteen shots of vodka, what are you doing? exactly, WHAT AM I DOING?! Do you regret any of your relationships? yasss but I guess I learned yadda yadda yadda Whats the last taste in your mouth? stomach acid :(

What are your countries staple dishes? (Italians - pizza, pasta etc) *shrug* What was the last thing you felt disappointed by? my very own self Do you play games on your phone? nothing else but Choices Do you have music on your cellphone? spotify Name three black things that you can see? necklace, cellphone, calculator Do you like your best friends parents? Could you even tell me their names? I liked my elementary school’s bestie’s mom - Mrs. Krysia she was like an aunt to me and still recognizes me on the street, I miss her  Are you more of a mums kid or dads kid? dad’s Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? Marilyn Monroe forever anything silly that annoys you? (i hate hearing nails being clipped) for example - someone scratching their plate with a fork, jak ktoś sztućcem zgrzebuje resztki jedzenia mam ochotę go zamordować >.<  would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing? dishes

[neighbourskid]

What’s Your Story?

(original date: 30 July 2016)

At ComicCon, two weeks ago, I got this free shirt that says "What's your story?". And now that I've been wearing it, every time I've looked in a mirror or just seen a reflection of myself, I have been wondering, what exactly is my story? Why am I the way I am? What made me like this? Where do I come from, and where do I go to? And I have thought a lot about this, to be honest. But I guess, I just gotta start at the beginning, right?

I am pretty bad with childhood memories. I barely know anything. Everything that I do know, I feel like only knowing because people told me or because I've seen pictures of it. Which honestly bums me out. I am also constantly not sure if things I feel like I actually do remember, aren't just things that I made up at some point. But anyways.

I grew up in a small-ish town in Switzerland. We've lived in other small-ish towns and villages before, but I was definitely too young to remember any of that. There are memories of me feeding my older half-brother, but I am quite sure that I only know this because there's a picture of it. Right now, I'd say my earliest memory is my half-brother (who's autistic by the way) helping my brother and me out of beds we couldn't get out on our own. I know that I know this. I was probably around three or four at the time. Anyways.

My parents got divorced when I was four. Although I have lived with my mom until I moved out this July, I never really connected with her as much as other girls do. Those good mother-daughter relationships you see in movies sometimes? We didn't have that. I was always very focused on the men in my family. My dad was my hero, even though I only saw him every second weekend and on special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. But he was my hero. Still is.

My brother was my role model from early childhood on. My mom always says, that I was always okay with everything that he chose to do or have. My brother wanted these pants? Me too. My brother wanted chocolate milk? Me too. Those were my most said words. "Me too."

My mom feared that I would be too dependent on his decisions and never be truly me, because I was okay with doing whatever he did. But I don't think that this is what happened. I just loved my brother. My dad wasn't always there because of the divorce, so my next go-to person was my brother, because I didn't see my mom as a role model or go-to person. We didn't connect like that.

My brother and me, we're 18 months apart. That's a wonderful age gap. It's not too close, but it's also not too far away to get along splendidly.

Of course, one of the reasons why I was always okay with doing/having what my brother did, was because I thought we were the same. As a child, I didn't really get the concept of gender or that there is a real difference between boys and girls. I just knew that some people had other parts than others, but I was like, yeah and? What does it matter?

I just knew that I always liked hanging out with boys more than I did with girls. I had this friend in kindergarten who I always stole Legos with. Then in first grade, I was seated next to a girl with the same last name as me, and we got along and I got to play at her house a lot, but in second grade I was back to being with boys. And I was friends with the same boy until probably fourth grade, then expanded my friend group - to even more boys. And they accepted me. I got to hang out with them, got to play video games with them, played with pokemon cards, played football. It wasn't until probably sixth grade that I actually got girl friends. And even then, my main friend group were still the boys. And I was kinda the "cool girl" because I got to hang out with them.

It was nothing I was striving for, but it happened nonetheless.

I remember that one of my best friends had a crush on me, and I didn't get it. I was oblivious to that. Until I cut my hair in sixth grade, and thus looked more boyish than ever before, and he lost his interest. In retrospect, I should've seen it. But it doesn't really matter anyway.

Then seventh grade came around - new teachers, new class - and I only had four of my old classmates left: two girls who I didn't spend that much time with, the guy who had had a crush on me and another guy who I had often played video games with, but more due to other people than actually him. So in short, four people I wasn't really that good friends with. So I had to find new ones.

As many of you might now, I am an insanely introverted person. Well, at least to new people. People who have known me for a long time often can't believe that I am actually very shy and introverted. But that is that.

I made friends rather quickly, though. Well, at least I think so. I got along well with pretty much everyone, but I mostly spent my time with one or two of the girls. But in the end, I didn't really bond with them that much, because I haven't talked to anyone of them in years. It didn't matter anyway, because I had to repeat 8th grade, and had new classmates anyway. And that is where I made friends, who I still see to this day and am still friends with. I'm even living with one of them! Which is great to be honest.

In the two years I was with those people, I changed a lot. I was always the tomboy, the girl dude. The bro that just so happened to be a girl, but nobody cared. But with those people, I think I finally wasn't the bro friend anymore. I was still the stereotype "cool girl" especially because I wasn't girly (I'm still not) and I didn't give two shits what people thought (still don't). But I got more girlier than before. I dressed less manly, could finally get to like tank tops, skinny jeans, and shorts that didn't cover my knees. Even jewelry! Well rings, mostly.

But I was still me; boyish, reckless, climbing-on-trees-and-falling-down self-destroy-ish.

My dad always wanted a son and a daughter. And that is what he got. I am not the typical daughter, the typical girl. But I have a lot in common with my dad, so I think he got the daughter he wanted, or he came around to accept that I would never be the girly girl. He loves me and I know that.

I know my mom loves me. And that she accepts me for who I am. But I think she always had more issues with me being the way I am, than my dad had. With me being so very boyish. We always fought when buying clothes. Oh, the memories. It was a war.

After ninth grade I went to grammar school. I only knew my friend Angie, but soon enough I got along with pretty much everyone in that class. I think I was still the "cool girl" which got me friends easily. I got along with the girls, I got along with the boys. I think I was good friends with everyone, with some exceptions obviously. I had friends in other classes as well. I wasn't typically popular, mind you, but I am friendly. People get along with me. People tell me I'm funny, trustworthy, loyal, a good friend.

I made a habit of getting along with teachers, too. Mostly teachers I didn't have class with, but still. The class teacher of the one's we had PE with, was one of those teachers. After the first half year, I decided that he was going to be my victim, and so after the skiing camp he became exactly that. I mocked him constantly. After a fantastic incident - I shouted across the school yard that I thought his pink shirt was extremely manly - he asked one of his students who was my friend, if I meant harm or if I was always like that. She told him that this was just who I was, and from that moment on he returned my "bullying". We had a great time. I tried to sell him shoes, he was my go-to person for pain killers, he mocked my headaches, he told me with the biggest smile to "shut the fuck up". We had a great time. I always have one or two teachers like that at every school I go to. My English and German teacher was the other victim. He was a great teacher, and I think he appreciated me as a student. I met him yesterday and he was very pleased to hear that I was going to study English. We had bitch fights in the middle of class. While everyone looked at me like I had death wishes, we had the greatest fun mocking each other. It was great.

I am no teachers pet. I just feel like you need at least one teacher you actually like and have a good relationship with, or else you won't make it through school without constant mental breakdowns.

Anyways. I am rabbit trailing (I would like to personally thank Zachary Levi for adding this word to my vocabulary).

As some of you might know, I am a Christian. Not the "it says on my papers that I am a Christian, so I am one" but actually an active Christian. I go to church. I pray. I believe. I wouldn't call myself religious. I am a person of faith. There's a difference.

Anyways. When I was in second grade, my mom got a job where she had to work shifts. So we got someone where we could go eat, and spend our free afternoons at. They are great people and I'm still friends with them. Their two children are basically my little siblings and I consider their daughter one of my best friends.

These people, this couple, were Christians, and they went to church in our town. I don't know exactly when my mom converted, but I know that we started going to that church, and I made friends for life. When I was twelve or thirteen, there was a baptism service coming up and I told my mom that I wanted that, too.

Usually, it is waaaaay to early to get baptised at twelve or thirteen. Mostly, teens are "allowed" to do so when they're sixteen or eighteen or whatever. But I felt like this was the right thing to do, so I did. And they let me.

Over the course of my life as a person of faith, I have always searched for role models. Someone I could look up to in that aspect of my life. I found a few. The dad of the two girls I live with at the moment was one of them. He was the pastor of our church, is a missionary in Central Africa now. Then there were various people from our church who I looked up to because they just have so much faith and trust. And in 2012 someone new made his way into my line of sight and is now not only a role model as a person of faith, but for life in general. In 2012, through the movie Avengers and through Tom Hiddleston, I discovered Zachary Levi. Who is not only a brother in Christ, but an all around good person in general and just the sweetest guy I have ever had the good fortune of meeting.

Through various interviews and NerdHQ panels, Zac has over and over again inspired me in so many ways. He inspires me to be more kind, to be more gentle, to be more passionate. He inspires me to trust God, to bring important decisions before God. He inspires me so much. Every time NerdHQ comes around again, or every time I just watch panels throughout the year, I get giddy and I'm full of energy to live my dreams, go out and change the world, be the best version of myself.

This year I have had the wonderful opportunity to finally attend NerdHQ and meet Zac for the first time. And he did not disappoint. He was everything I wished him to be. Even better. He gave me something so precious that I feel like this will fuel me for a very long time. With a simple sentence he changed my life more than he already has before. And I am eternally grateful for that.

"What's your story?" Well, my story is still in the first chapters. There's a lot more to come. I've been through things that I wish I hadn't. I lost people very dear to me. I'm still trying to find out some things about me. But there's one thing I know. God will help me write my story. He will be there every step of the way. God will put people in my life that help me figure out who I am, what to do, and where to go. He put Zac and NerdHQ in my life for a reason. And there's no way I am letting that go. Ever.

I told my mom yesterday that I plan to never miss NerdHQ ever again, if I can anyhow avoid it. She said, "that's big talk." But I'm not kidding. I will do everything in my power to never miss the awesomeness that is NerdHQ ever again. Those are four days of granted happiness. Why should I ever wanna miss that again? There are likeminded, amazing people who I wouldn't be able to see anywhere else. They don't live in Switzerland. They live all over America.

My story is about a girl who loves stories. And storytellers. I would love to be one, too. I get inspired every other day by stories I read or hear or see, and I would like to give back. Tell stories to inspire future generations, the way people like Zac have inspired me.

My story is about finding purpose in inspiring others. My story is about being passionate, "loving too much", knowing a shit ton of "fun facts" about movies and books and people I've never met in my life. My story is about me. Your average neighbourhood nerd. The kid next door. The introverted kid who doesn't seem introverted at all, once you get to know them.

So, that is me. What's your story?

#blog post #import from old blog #personal #comic con #sdcc #story time

[trashinaglass-archive]

After the Movie

Y/n shows Harry the trailer for the After movie.

Warnings: After. Mentions of sex.

A/n: I understand that some people really don’t like After and some really do. This is not me bashing nor supporting the film, just a cute imagine idea, I think.

     You were laying in your bed after a long day at work. You usually like to lay in bed and watch youtube videos to wind down from your day and get ready to sleep. As you clicked on the newest Jenna Marbles video to watch, an ad popped up. You usually always watched the ads so your girl could make her money. You noticed this ad was for a movie trailer. You looked at it in confusion for a second- it looked like a weird Fifty Shades of Grey remake. You then heard the name. Hardin. It all clicked in that moment. This was a trailer for After.

     After was a fan fiction written about Harry. You remember reading it on Wattpad when it first came out. It eventually became so popular; practically everyone who knew the name ‘Harry Styles’ knew about “After.” It became so popular it was published as a book. You remembered feeling so excited for the girl, Anna Todd. She was an amazing writer and such a sweet girl. You hadn’t realized it had gotten this popular though.

     “Oh, my stars,” you said searching for the trailer to watch again. You couldn’t believe you had seen it. As you watched it through a second time, it all came flooding back to you. You saw the storylinebeing played out in the few clips. You didn’t know if you wanted to feel excited or laugh at how ridiculous it kind of was. Turning a fan fiction about Harry Styles into a movie? 

     As you were sinking this new information in, you heard the man himself walk into your shared house.

     “Harry!” you called out, hoping he would come straight to you before doing anything else. You heard him rush to your bedroom.

     “You okay?” he asked as he walked in.

     “Yeah, but um,” you started, not sure how to share this with him. “You remember that fan fiction that was written about you a long time ago that got really popular?”

     “The boxer guy one? With that girl Bo or something?” he asked as he moved around the room. He began to discard of his clothes from the day and get ready for bed himself. 

     “No, the college student one that goes Fifty Shades on the girl?” you reminded him. 

     “Oh, yeah. I remember. What about it?”

     “They made it into a movie,” you told him holding back laughing. 

     He looked at you in disbelief. “Are you serious?” he asked intrigued. You turned your laptop around and showed him the screen.

     “Dead serious, actually.” You scooted back down into your bed, laying on your back with your laptop supported on your stomach. “Come watch it, it’s pretty funny.”

     Harry followed your instruction and layed down next to you. You handed him the computer so he could see it clearly and pressed play. While you both watched it Harry asked a million questions.

“Who is she?”

“Why is she showering with no water?”

“He’s suppose to be me? Where’s the hair?!”

“Why won’t she make out with fake me?”

     You laughed at Harry’s crazy questions. “You’re suppose to take this seriously,” you mock yelled at him. 

     “I’m sorry, but if they’re going to make a movie about fake me, they could at least pick someone with the proper haircut,” he told you jokingly. “The hair is a staple by now.”

     “That’s actually true,” you said softly. “Are you going to see it when it comes out? Are you going to be invited to the premiere?! Can I go with you?!!” you asked with building excitement.

     “Calm down, love,” Harry laughed at your burst of excitement. “I haven’t been contacted about anything regarding this. I didn’t even know it was a thing until you showed it to me.”

     “Okay, well... if you do get invited can I come?” you asked hopefully.

     “I’ll see what I can do,” Harry promised you. 

     “Thank you much,” you replied. “But you never said what you think about this. Support it? Hate it? Think it’s dumb?”

     “I don’t know. I think it’s flattering she took the time to create a character after me. I heard she’s a good author too so I’m glad she’s getting recognition.”

     “Oh, yeah. She’s amazing. I was blown away by how good she is,” you said absentmindedly.

     “So you’ve read it?” Harry asked you. You normally stayed away from fan fiction because you knew how crazy it can get, but you were always captivated by After.

     “Whaaaaaaaat?” you said, your voice going up about 5 octaves. “I mean, yeah I’ve read it, but I was only scoping out my competition,” you told him confidently.

     “Checking out your competition?” He repeated prompting you to nod your head. “Your not real, book character competition?”

     “Yes because you’ve been in that girls bed more times then I’d like to mention.”

     “Really,” he said. The tone in his voice warning you of a teasing joke coming your way. “Have I made her cum as hard as I’ve made you cum?” he asked you. You gasped at the comment.

      “Harry Edward!” you said while smacking his chest. “Honestly though, probably not. We’re damn good at the sex,” you said in all seriousness.

     “Yeah, we are. Best I ever had,” he said turning away to put the laptop away, his words causing you to perk up.

     “Hips don’t lie,” you said making him turn sharply to you. “You make me wanna,” you continued as he looked at you.

     “I hate you so much,” he said laughing.

     “One more night!” you yelled as he tackled you to the bed, kissing you to make you shut up.

This was better the first time before Tumblr had to fuck me up and delete everything the first time around. Also, I’m a southern Christian girl so I don’t say omg, I say oh my stars. But you can replace it with whatever you say.

#Harry Styles #Harry Styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Houses With Teeth | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

What is this shiny new title--is she a short story, is she a... a new novel?? Or is she the seventh book of FOSTERED because apparently that series never ends!! Haha.

Ha.

So yes! This is the first update for--yes!--book 7 of FOSTERED! A few things you’ve probably already noticed:

The title is not a past tense verb and we STAN. If you haven’t noticed books 1-6 of the series follow a verb-ED structure, and I honestly became so over it by book four but kept up with it for consistency’s sake. I debated for probably two seconds before I settled that I am TIRED of these UGLY fostered titles, so we have made a CHANGE. Honestly, I kind of needed this change because this book is going to be kind of... different from the others (genre, tone, etc, etc), and I needed a more concrete separation from Old Fostered to New Fostered.

Originally, this title actually belonged to REWIRED for about 2 hours before I decided to give it to the new book. This was my thought process:

Me want new title for REWIRED, this title = trash

*comes up with new title*

nvm i’ll never be able to think of a title better than this for book 7

(I’d like to say my process was more thoughtful than this but this is literally how it happened oops)

While trying to come up with titles for the three sections of Rewired, I came up with houses for part 2. This is what sparked me to think of the title HOUSES WITH TEETH. I changed part two’s name because houses literally made no sense in conjunction with the chapters, and I’m happy about it since I looove this title. 

So without further ado, let’s get into it!

I honestly have been struggling with the idea of this book for a very long time. As I’ve mentioned, FOSTERED’s 5 year anniversary will be coming up this October--AKA I’ve been writing this series for a very long time! I grew up with this series and its characters and whilst it’s all been very special to me in my development as an adolescent, I’m also older now, and my tastes in both writing and books have changed immensely. I knew I still had a story kicking here with FOSTERED, so I could have ended the series I just had one thought that held me back: why end it when it feels like it’s only just begun?

For a very long time, I severely misunderstood MANY of my characters in Fostered. Is this because I don’t characterize and blindly pants all of my novels hahahah possibly. Keeping in mind that the FOSTERED novels on average usually only took me about 2-5 months to complete, despite writing with these babes for 5 years, I still failed to understand them as characters. I don’t think this is exactly wrong--I understood as much as I needed to get through the first five books. 

However, this idea that my characters were beyond what I’d made for them really confronted me when I started writing book six. I soon realized that literally 90% of the cast is made up of garbage people I absolutely love, and that in general, I really like writing about dark, strange, unsettling things. But this realization came as I was writing the sixth book in the series--very late! Though I acknowledge at some point FOSTERED will cease to be (rip), this idea of leaving it when there was, to say it simply, SO MUCH JUICY TEA, would feel like an injustice. 

This is where this book comes into play! Although this isn’t a chapter update (more of a preliminary intro, if you will), I’ve had some time to think about the novel itself. Though I still really don’t have solid footing on the plot, it’s got an aesthetic and that’s... enough??

I made a mini moodboard of all the things HOUSES WITH TEETH. Here it is:

Process:

I’ve been struggling a lottttt with this book lately because I honestly don’t know what it is?? So far I know a few major things like Reeve being 20 and living in NYC, Foster being a central character, etc etc, but the book hasn’t materialized beyond these things? I feel very headless working on this project, which I know means I need to do a lot more thinking/planning before diving in. Because it’s slightly different from the rest of the books, it’s taking a bit more elbow grease to work into.

I recently changed the tense from present to past, and I think this helped?? Possibly?? I don’t exactly know what the story is in past tense, but I also didn’t know what it was in the present so lol I think the experimentation is good for me. For now, I’ve kind of put this guy on the back burner while I work on other things, but I have drafted some of it, the first ‘present’ version in a writing sprint because girl needed a push, and the second ‘past’ version pretty recently. I do like both, though they kind of achieve different things. I was having trouble keeping momentum with the present version, hence the switch, but I am having trouble transferring Reeve’s cynicism into the past. 

I am not fully certain on plot yet because of these things, so I’m not confident enough to share a summary, but I do have some excerpts! With that said, there’s a lot that could change, so everything I share here is malleable/could change. 

Excerpts:

The first excerpts I’ll share are from the ‘present’ version of this story, which is how I initially started drafting! I do like a lot of it, I just don’t think I can keep up with the tense without running out of steam.

This is the opening. I’ll share both from the present and past tense versions so you can see how different they are (because oh boy are they!). For some context, Reeve is cleaning up some broken herb planter pots from her sink after she believes Ethel, the ghost in her apartment, has knocked them down:

The apartment is haunted but Joel won’t get a priest until he sees proof. You won’t see proof of the paranormal, I’ve explained, but Joel doesn’t care. Joel is atheist and my landlord. He thinks Christians are Satan worshippers, and I haven’t ever disagreed. But there’s a ghost. Her name is Ethel.

Ethel is twenty and was murdered in this apartment. A cold case. She hates New York City, too buzzy, too fluid, the traffic vulgar and boring. I intuit Ethel, which sounds like bullshit, because it is. I doubted her and she cut my hair in my sleep. Ethel hates this apartment.

idk what is up with the sentence structure here but:

Once I’ve cleared the first pot from the sink, I work on the next, a wilted clump of cilantro. Unrooting it from the splinters of terracotta and placing whatever I can salvage on a paper towel. The de-potted herbs intestinal, like webbings of medicinal veins. Ollie’s movie muttering. The motor of the refrigerator gruelling and wet. In my head I tick off the herbs I’ve saved so far: thyme, rosemary, parsley, dill. All the pots empty and bagged for the garbage. I grab the notepad from the fridge and make a note: buy better pots. 

In the middle of cleaning up the pots, Reeve gets a phone call and answers, assuming it’s her landlord/roommate/semi-boyfriend Joel. I wrote all of this during a writing sprint with my buddies and I haven’t looked at it since. There are parts I like and some parts I don’t lol: 

Static echoes through the speaker and it’s a telemarketer, a wrong number, a prank call from two teenage girls in Indiana, Ethel on the other line. But then there’s a clink and someone clearing their throat. “You’re in Manhattan?”

The familiar swell of his voice through the line is like the shaft of a finger tracing the notches of my spine. His voice crackles, bad connection, and I want to use it as an excuse to hang up, but don’t. I finger the leftover bits of terracotta in the sink, swirling the mud against the stainless steel.

“Who is this?” I say this because it’s easier. There are not explanations if I’m just from the city. The distant shimmer of music from his side fills the dead air, the melody gentle. Outside, Marty from the convenience store walks her golden retriever, bustling through the suburban neighborhood across the road. The woman who just started her shift at the apartment’s lobby smokes absently on the drive-up. I put the phone between my shoulder and my ear and gnaw at my fingernails.

“Your brother.” I picture him on the veranda of some Delaware beach house, playing lazy games of Parcheesi with Harrison, his hair long and unattractive to the girl he tries to impress at the public pool. Sharing a cigarette with his roommate-boyfriend-co-worker. The tobacco protruding into his lungs, feeding through his throat.

Marty and her dog have made it to the streetlamp outside of the complex; Marty on the phone, the dog sniffing at a fire hydrant. I lean over the sink and mix bits of plant fertilizer and water from the drain with my pinkie. It’s easy to imagine him by the ocean, the porch of his new place gritty with sand. The ice cream truck whirring lazily around the block.

Blowing smoke from the cigarette out the window, onto Marty and her dog, “How did you get this number?”    

“Your ad in the paper. I’m calling to fill that position.”

This is the last of ‘present’ HWT that I’ll share which I do rather like! This is the continuation of their conversation:

“I think you have the wrong number.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say. I last saw Lonan nine, ten, eleven months ago, in an unmemorable daze. Sitting glumly in the shade of the cabin with a magazine and cigarette, staring sunward as we rolled out of the lot. Bristles of burr bushes, mosquitoes nipping at his elbows. His phone call feels criminal.

“Why Manhattan?” he asks.

“Better restaurants.”

“I want to fill that room you’re renting.”

“And what about Harrison?”

“He’ll come.”

“It’s an ad for a couch. You can’t both stay on the couch.”

These excerpts are from the ‘past’ version of HWT, again, the first page or so (unedited as well):

Three summers after my father died, he called the phone in my apartment and abruptly hung up. I’d heard his voice for only a second, a brief hello, and it was only when I considered the disconnect to be my fault—a clumsy fumble of the thumb, that I remembered he was dead. It was an easy write off. My father had been appearing in my dreams for six months before he first called. I told no one because I didn’t have to. I convinced myself I was going crazy. I lit a cigarette and smoked over the herb planter Joel and I had set up the week before. No matter how much I tried, every single one died. A half hour after the call, off the brim of a cornfield, a young woman named Ethel was fished out of a silo and pronounced dead. 

So we have a very different first sentence/conflict, idk what this even is lool.

The following is the rest of what I’ve written. We kind of see the present version strung through to this version. This excerpt also introduces a new idea that Reeve’s been following this story religiously since it broke (which isn’t in the original).

My father was dead, Ethel was dead, the herbs in the planter were dead. I didn’t make a connection because there wasn’t one. I just followed her story on my walks to work, the easy flight downstairs to the bakery Liu only hired me at because she pitied me. Flipping through the newspapers Liu had out front for five dollars a copy on my lunchbreak, stashed behind a bulk order of red bean paste in the back room when I wanted to finish it later. In headlines, from the first arrest, to the first release, to the first plea from her parents—Ethel was only twenty. With my hair up, down, my tennis shoes on, off, on break when I should’ve been rolling filo pastry, I followed her story. Until it went cold and everyone forgot about Ethel and she became unremembered, unmemorable, unsolved. It was that easy, that tragic. 

A week after her headlines ran out, she started turning the water in our shower on and off. She started turning on the TV and ejecting Ollie’s film noir rentals from the library. She started tugging on my necklaces and unscrewing the bolt of my sunglasses. The apartment was haunted I told Joel, but he didn’t believe me. He wanted proof—there would never be proof, and this is the only reason I called Foster back. 

(for context she’s calling Foster for ghost hunting troubles because she knows he’s concerned he too is being haunted why do I only write about ghosts is this becoming an issue)

I like both and I think I want to find a way to fuse both together? I think both achieve different things so this is very dependant on what I’m going for! I’m at a bit of a loss, so I’ve been letting it sit and also being inspired by @sarahkelsiwrites break through with her novel and the beautiful prose she’s been pumping out! Let me know: which version do you like better? I’m still going to keep the past tense for now, but we’ll see how it goes when I dive into edits (hopefully soon!). Who knows, maybe none of this writing will end up in the final thing--we’ll have to see! 

If you’re struggling with novel openings, I feel you! I’ll keep you updated as I trek through the first chapter/sort out my thoughts, but I hope you liked this post! I know it’s a bit different than usual as I’m having a visible crisis lol, but thank you for reading!

--Rachel

#writing #amwriting #writeblr #writingupdates #fostered #writerblr

[eldritchsurveys]

637.

Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? >> You know, it’s funny -- I’m more likely to make snap judgements about atheists than Christians. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met my fair share of annoying proselytisers and hateful fundamentalists, have had “exorcisms” performed on me, the whole nine. I am definitely wary of Christianity as an institution, with good reason. But I’m really tired of the superiority complex that atheism seems to encourage (again, just like with Christians, not all atheists are like this -- but enough are). The fact that I dare to interpret my life and my reality in a non-materialist, often-arcane fashion immediately puts me at odds with a lot of atheists because their first thought about anything other than strict materialism is “only idiots believe that”, and I’m not going to let some other equally-in-the-dark human being treat me like an idiot because of something this personal (and this arbitrary!). Somehow, Christians telling me I’m going to hell because I listen to death metal or masturbate or whatever is less deeply irritating to me than that.

Do you ever brush your teeth in the shower? >> No. I can see why you would, though.

Has your printer ever stopped working at the last minute and you had a paper due the next day? What did you do? >> ---

Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? >> It’s more like... I don’t feel like dealing with other people’s baggage, you know? Their inflexibility of mind, or baked-in prejudices, or superiority/inferiority complexes, or whatever. It’s really not worth it all the time. I could be putting my energy to better use than fielding off other people’s contempt. So I wouldn’t say my reticence is fear-based as much as it’s... boredom-based. lmao

Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? >> Yawn.

Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? >> No.

Have you ever tried sucrets? >> I don’t think so.

Would you date someone that smokes? >> I don’t date, but in general being a smoker isn’t something that puts me off a person. Being rude about smoking and not accepting that not everyone wants to breathe in their secondhand cancer air would, though. And if you smoke cigars, no thanks. Cigarette smoke is bad enough but cigar smoke is twice as bad.

What about drinks? >> Again, it’s not the act of drinking that puts me off a person, it’s to what extent their drinking affects their life and the lives of those around them.

Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? >> I don’t think so. I mean, maybe one or two people depending on their tolerance? But not the whole damn party.

Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? >> Yes.

Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? >> No, the reason numbers tend to disappear off surveys when I take them is because when I paste the survey into this text box, tumblr automatically formats it like a numbered list, and when I unformat it the numbers go with it.

Person you like shows up at your house: you … >> ---

Last person you talked on the phone with? >> ---

Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? >> ---

Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? >> No.

Will tomorrow be better than today? >> I mean, today’s going to be pretty good. I’m going to play video games for hours to make up for the fact that I couldn’t all weekend.

What do you hear right now? >> Nothing.

What was the last thing to go into your mouth? >> Water, I think.

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? >> I operate under the assumption that most people won’t care whether I’m upset with them or not, so I don’t bother informing them. That might be a maladaptive way of thinking, but so far I haven’t had much cause to question the notion, either.

Honestly, how is your heart lately? >> Beating.

Do you miss anyone? >> No.

Are you waiting for a phone call? >> No.

If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? >> I wouldn’t say anything. That’s their business, not mine.

What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? >> Hope that that person doesn’t go through what I went through. And if they do, hope that they have the presence of mind to leave sooner rather than later.

What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? >> First of all, who is doing that...

What do you usually do right when you wake up? >> Look at my phone to see what time it is.

Are you looking forward to anything? >> Yeah, playing WoW.

How late did you stay up last night? >> I got home at around a quarter past eleven, so I think I got to sleep shortly after midnight.

Do you truly hate anyone? >> No.

Would you ever get a tattoo? >> Of course.

In the past forty-eight hours, have you hung out with a girl? >> I hung out with a lot of people on Sunday.

Were you happy when you woke up today? >> Yes, very happy to be back in my warm comfortable bed and not in that janky loud motel.

If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? >> I mean, it’s not going to change anything on my end, but I wouldn’t act weird about it if someone told me.

Would you rather go back a week or go forward? >> ---

Would you ever smile at a stranger? >> I’ve done so.

Who was the last person to text you? >> Sparrow.

What are you doing today? >> Playing video games, vegging out. Just enjoying being home.

Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? >> Not right now.

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? >> Yeah, on purpose.

Have you ever been so bored that you started drooling on yourself? >> What...

Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? >> Not right away, but soon enough after.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? >> ---

Want to get smashed tonight? >> Nah, I’m good.

What time are you getting up tomorrow? >> I don’t know, whatever time I wake up.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? >> Like, throughout my entire life? Some were fine, some were mistakes, some don’t even register in my memory anymore.

Think back to last June; were you single? >> No.

Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? >> Probably. That’s my only method of consolation -- distraction.

Describe how you feel right now. >> Neutral.

Would you date someone three years older than you? >> ---

Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? >> In the morning.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? >> The present.

Are you okay with the life you live? >> Sure.

Could you handle living with the last person you texted? >> I do live with the last person I texted.

Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? >> Everything I read is purely for my own interest/delight.

Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? >> The only “goal” I ever set is that Goodreads reading challenge, lmao. But even that’s just for fun -- if I don’t read 50 books in a year, it’s not like I consider myself a failure or something. Quantity doesn’t even mean anything. It’s just something to keep track of, I guess. (Also, when I do those end-of-year book surveys, it’s easier to just go look at my challenge because then I can see at a glance what books I read that year.)

If you could go forward in time and see your life 5 years from now, what would you hope to see? >> ---

Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? >> There’s one down the road from me, like a 10-minute walk. Family Video just refuses to go down without a fight, I guess. They jumped on the CBD bandwagon really fast, too -- revenue is revenue, I guess, lmao.

What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? >> When I realised I’d left my laptop and phone chargers in the motel room. *facepalm* Thank god for Amazon one-day shipping.

Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush/es assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? >> There were a lot of attractive people at Elle’s wedding.

When looking for something to watch on TV do you tend to pick shows you know you like, or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? >> Either. Just depends on what I’m in the mood for.

Have you ever been ditched by someone only to find them out and about with someone else? >> No.

How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? >> ---

What is the last song you sang out loud? >> I don’t remember.

Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? >> ---

Have you ever been fired from a job? >> No.

What do people tell you your voice sounds like? >> I don’t recall the last time anyone commented on my voice at all.

What financial class are you? >> Poverty class.

What poster is hanging closest to you? >> It’s not a poster, it’s an art print. It’s called “Heimdall” and that’s basically what it is, I guess. But very, very intricate and multilayered. One of those “stare at it for five hours and still see new things” kind of artwork.

What time did you go to bed last night? >> Sometime after midnight.

Do you watch any reality shows? >> Not regularly.

Are you more comfortable with men or women? >> ---

Do you think you’re fat? >> Sometimes I do. It’s all just societal bullshit, though, because I’m technically not fat (and it really shouldn’t even be a big deal if I was).

Have you ever borrowed money from someone and never repaid them? >> Probably.

Do you have a pet cat? >> Yeah.

What is worse: physical or emotional pain? >> I’m not going to rank one as “worse” than the other. Pain is pain.

If you had to get up at 6 AM tomorrow morning, would it be painful? >> Probably. It’s not my normal getting-up time.

How is your hair? >> Fine.

Who was the last person who called you? >> ---

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? >> Not long, because I don’t go to bed until I feel good and sleepy.

How many people have you had strong feelings for in the year of 2012? >> You know what I had strong feelings for in 2012? Drugs.

What are you doing for your next birthday? >> I have no idea. Probably going to Chicago like usual, although the idea of going to Canada is still on the table if we can get passports by that time.

Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? >> Not unless it was explicitly understood that I am aromantic and this is a platonic outing.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? >> Sometimes that narrative is fun to entertain.

Last movie you watched? >> The Nightingale.

Who were you with? >> Nobody.

Who came over last? >> ---

Have you ever wanted to be a ballet dancer? >> No.

Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? >> I do not.

Favourite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. >> ---

Skullcandy headphones, yay or nay? >> Yeah, I like them.

Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? >> No.

Do you love when people remember little things about you? >> Sure, it means people actually paid attention to me and cared enough to remember, which goes against some of my less helpful self-talk.

Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? >> No.

How many phones have you gone through? >> Too many.

Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? >> No.

Do you think your future will be a good one? >> ---

#surveys #survey #random survey

[dieverdediger]

“Marvel is Satanic!”

That’s the sentiment I got today from a surprisingly successful YouTube video. It’s a couple of Christian guys who go through the MCU to find direct and indirect Christian references in an attempt to show its anti-Christian nature. I’m serious. Normally I would just leave it be, but I feel I should address it. There are so many positive comments on that video that I need to say something. 

The short answer is “No, the MCU is NOT out to irritate Christians one way or another”. I am aware that they seem to be going into more political, so called “inclusive” territory. That’s not my concern here. So this post is hopefully relevant to you as a Christian regardless of your political or social views. I’m talking about Ultron saying “Upon this rock I will built my Church” or Tony Stark saying “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar”. That’s what I - and the video - are looking at. 

To keep the post short I will give a short Christian response.

C. S. Lewis, and his predecessor G. K. Chesterton (along with Tolkien, I may add), had a specific view of human history. Namely, if Christianity is true - if it is really this one key feature of life - then you would expect shadows of it before it occurred. You won’t be surprised that distortions have come about. You would expect to find myths of dying and rising gods. You would expect to see legends of heroes rising from the dead. This, in essence, is my response to the video.

Yes, there are parallels to Tony Stark and Jesus, or Christianity more broadly... and most “hero journeys”. You often have a selfish, destructive unsympathetic character undergo some radical event. Usually it’s some encounter with death: either they almost die, or someone close to them does. And then their eyes are open. It’s a kind of spiritual resurrection: now they are different. Now they are better. Looking at the MCU you find the idea of a spiritual resurrection in most of their characters: Tony Stark injured, captured, exposed to his effect on the world and witnessing his mentor die. Thor, arrogant brute, being humbled and made to care for others. Steve Rogers... we’ll he’s a unique case (and so is Vision), which I’ll discuss later. Bruce Banner not so much, but watch this space. Black Widow, a former assassin saved by Clint, and turned hero. All of the Guardians, before just a couple of “losers” turn to become heroes. Don’t forget Nebula.

We like these movies not because they glorify bad people. We like them because they glorify redemption. And that’s probably one of the most key Christian doctrines. It’s so true that it is clear even to non-Christians. So the video guys miss the point: we don’t like Tony’s narcissism. We like him because he is good in spite of it and he is getting better.

But let me go further. Another reason we like these movies and characters - and hero journeys in general - is how they complete their journeys into pure selflessness. At the end of the day they are willing to sacrifice themselves. Tony almost kills himself saving Peter. In The Avengers you see Cap telling him that he is not a hero and is only selfish... only to see him later on almost sacrificing himself saving New York. Steve killed himself - or he thought he would - saving the world in The First Avenger. Thor was willing to let Loki kill him to save his friends. And at the end even sacrificed seeing Jane again trying to stop him. Banner, even, spent his whole solo movie trying to get rid of Hulk. But when faced with people dying in Harlem he jumped out of the helicopter, not even knowing if he will die, in an effort to save the people. In Endgame you see Tony, again, sacrificing himself and a life with his family saving the universe. Natasha, too, did the same. 

I could go on and tell you about Strange willing to die for all eternity, Peter Parker giving up his dream dance with his crush, Quicksilver dying to save Clint, Cap, again, willing to die to save Bucky’s soul, Scott Lang going subatomic to save his daughter, Groot saving his friends in GotG vol1, etc. Even Yondu redeemed himself by saving Quill. It extends to the Netflix heroes too, though I’ve only cared for DareDevil: sacrificing his friends and a normal life to save the city. 

We love these characters because they are, when push comes to shove, selfless. Not that they are perfect - none of them are. 

With all this in mind, to come back to Christianity, the answer is YES. There ARE parallels to Christ’s death and resurrection. There IS a parallel between the normal Christian being spiritually reborn. And that’s the point. We should expect these parallels. And we love these movies because they reflect what each of us, in the deepest parts of our souls, know to be good: resurrection and self-sacrifice.

Steve Rogers, and Vision, are the exceptions that prove the rule. The character trait of Steve is that he is morally perfect, or at least the most of them all. So he doesn’t have that spiritual resurrection. Rather, he is an almost Jesus figure in his perfection and willingness to die for others. He is that ideal. Unlike the others he doesn’t strive for it. He is it. And yet he still struggles to keep it. The same goes to Vision, though to a smaller extent. Ultron was a mad egoist with a God-complex. He wanted a saviour - a not so subtle messianic reference - which turned out to be Vision. And... Ultron was disappointed. Vision’s goodness was, in Ultron’s view, a defect. And yet Vision beat him. It is reminiscent of the verse in the Gospel of John: the lights shines in the darkness, but the darkness does not comprehend it. 

The critics in the video are right in one aspect, but it’s a ludicrously obvious one. These analogies - these characters with these traits - are just that: analogies. As a Christian we do believe that only Christ fulfils these ideals. And as such, all of these characters will always somehow not be enough. They will never match Christ. That’s true. But no one, no Christian does (or at least should) idolise these Marvel heroes. But they are worthy imperfect examples pointing us to a higher truth. They point us (if I may) closer to Christ and the moral perfection we all desire. They will, obviously, seem like a step downwards from the character of Jesus. That’s true. But they are also a step upwards from our normal life. As long as they inspire you to be better they are good.

Just a P. S. I am not saying it is all good. I think my whole experience of the MCU WAS a bit marred in Infinity War when Quill said “What am I supposed to say, Jesus?”. I believe that was unnecessary to say the least. I also don’t appreciate many of them using “Jesus” as a cuss word. 

#christianity #christian #apologetics #marvel #MCU #endgame #infinity war #movies #conspiracy theories #iron man #tony stark