#i genuinely think that last bit is why people hate lou so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onceuponastory · 3 years

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boyfriend - bucky barnes x y/n

"I love everything about you girl, don't you understand? I love you from head to toe girl, but I hate your boyfriend" - boyfriend: lou bega yes mambo no. 5 lou bega

Plot: Bucky is in love with his best friend Y/N. But unfortunately, his best friend has a boyfriend, and Bucky hates his guts. Warnings: Alcohol, some violence (but no abuse) and a small mention of sex. Also a small spoiler for TFATWS finale - just Sam's new job. Notes: So, my first Bucky fic is here! I've loved this song for a long time, and I listened to it again last week, and this fic was born. I recommend you listen to the song, because it's so upbeat and catchy, and I've tried to reflect that in this fic by making it more funny than angsty...but there is some angst ;) Oh also, Lou keeps calling the girl darling in the song, which is definitely a thing Bucky would do I think.

Also this is at least 7k words, probably even more. So sit back, relax and enjoy!

As Bucky Barnes watches his best friend Y/N sing to herself as she moves around her apartment, he smiles. The two of them have been friends for almost two years by this point, and hang out together almost every day. And for almost two years, Bucky Barnes has been head over heels in love with her. He loves everything about her: her smile, how gorgeous she looks, her sunny disposition, the way she’s the only one who can cheer him up after a nightmare...and so on and so forth. Y/N comes and sits beside him on the couch, grinning. “What are you thinking about?” She asks.

“Oh nothing.” He lies. Of course, he knows he can’t tell her that he’s in love with her. Especially since he knows there’s no way she feels the same about him. Before Y/N can reply, there’s a knock at the door, and she springs up to answer it.

“Sean! Hey!” She grins, pecking him on the lips and leading him inside, her arm wrapped around his waist. “Bucky! You remember my boyfriend Sean, right?” She asks.

“Yes, I do. Hey Sean.” He gives him a small wave from his position on the couch, which Sean returns, before being led into the kitchen by Y/N. Once they’re out of sight, Bucky’s smile falls. Sean is the big reason why he can’t tell Y/N that he’s in love with her. He might not know much about love, given he’s over a hundred years old, but he does know that you can’t tell people things like that and destroy their happiness, even if he wishes it was him she was with. Everytime he’s around, or even when she talks about him, a big grin is present on her face. And it tears him apart inside. But despite how happy she is around him, and how he knows that her happiness is all that matters, Bucky can’t stand Sean at all.

It’s not even just because he’s dating the girl he’s been in love with from the moment he met her. Bucky just...gets bad vibes from him, and doesn’t trust him as far as he can throw him (which, considering his metal arm, is quite far actually). He can’t explain why he dislikes him so much, he just does. And because of that, he refuses to get to know Sean any more than he has to, despite Y/N’s wishes for them to both get along. He knows it breaks her heart, but he can’t help it. He got through the last eighty or so years of his life trusting only himself, and isn’t about to stop now. But, his distrust of Sean for no reason is still confusing to him, so he decides he has to get to the bottom of it.

So, as soon as he can, Bucky visits another friend of his and Y/N’s.

~*~*~*~*~

“No, I cannot send Red Wing after her boyfriend to spy on him. Are you insane?! I thought all that mindless killing and spy stuff was behind you?” Sam asks.

“Okay first of all, ouch, and secondly, it is. I just hate HIM. I don’t trust him one bit.”

“Well...is he hurting her? Do you think she’s in danger?” Mulling it over, Bucky shakes his head.

“No. I just....think he’s weird and gross. He just...I don’t know! I just don’t like him Sam, is that really a big issue?!”

“It is when you’re trying to send The Avengers after him! And besides, if she’s not being hurt, there’s nothing we can do.” Huffing, Bucky rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you just spend time with him?” Sam asks. “I mean, you don’t like him, but Y/N has clearly got her heart set on this man, so there’s got to be something you’re missing. Maybe that robot brain of yours needs re-working.”

“Well, he did ask if I wanted to hang out, maybe get some coffee together a few weeks ago. And it’d make Y/N happy if we hung out more...” He trails off, and Sam starts nodding.

“See! You’re right! And after all, as long as Y/N’s happy, that’s all that matters...right Bucky?” Bucky is silent for a while, and Sam almost makes another crack at how he can hear the gears turning in his robot brain, but Bucky soon speaks up.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” Sam starts grinning. “But I uh...I’ll need some moral support there. Some help...guy to guy, you know.” Sam’s grin immediately disappears.

“Ohhh no. No no no. I am not getting dragged into this. Whatever’s between you and this dude is your business. I want no part of this.”

“Come on Sam! Please?!” Bucky asks. “That way you can see that it’s not just all in my head. I’m not wrong, I promise. You can trust my judgement.”

“Ah yes, because your judgement has been so great before...” Sam mumbles, but Bucky doesn’t respond to that.

“And after all, I think it’s an important part of my therapy, you know, making new friends and all that. I’m sure both the doc and Y/N will be pleased to hear that.” Sam shakes his head.

“I don’t care, I’m still not getting dragged into this.”

~*~*~*~*~

“I hate you.” Sam whispers, glaring at Bucky from across the Starbucks table. Bucky ignores him, and stares out the window, looking for Sean. “I cannot believe you dragged me into this.” Sam continues to complain.

“Shut up Sam.” Bucky orders, continuing to stare out the window.

“Oh, you’re going to be like that? You know Bucky, it’s really rude-“ Bucky suddenly sits up straighter, seeing Sean walking through the door.

“Shut up Sam.”

“Hey! You don’t- ouch!” Sam gasps as Bucky’s foot makes a connection with his ankle in an attempt to shut him up. “Thank god his foot’s not made of vibranium...” Sam hisses.

“Sean! Over here!” Bucky calls, waving him over as Sam rubs his ankle, continuing to glare at Bucky. Sean heads over to the table and sits down, greeting Bucky with a smile and a hello. Then he notices Sam beside him.

“Oh my god, hi! You’re Sam, right? It’s really nice to meet you. I’m a big fan of Captain America.” He gasps, holding out his hand, which Sam shakes, clearly happy with the attention. Bucky suppresses a groan, knowing Sam will not shut up about this, and will think Sean is great, no matter what he says. “Gotta admit, I didn’t expect to have you join us, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, well...I was in the neighbourhood, so.....Bucky invited me to join you both.” Sam lies, giving Bucky a hard stare.

“Well I’m glad you’re here. Both of you. You seem to know her really well, so I’m glad to hang out with you both.” Sean grins, ignoring or failing to notice the tension between Sam and Bucky. “She talks about you both a lot, actually.”

“Oh she does? You know, she talks about you a lot too. It’s nice to finally meet you man.” The pair turn their eyes to Bucky, who still hasn’t said anything, and continues fixing his gaze on Sean.

“Um, hi Bucky. It’s nice to see you again. How have you been?” Sean asks, suddenly looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here.

“Good.” Bucky responds, continuing his staring. Sean’s face flushes.

“Does he uh...does he always stare like this?” Sean whispers to Sam, clearly loud enough for Bucky to hear.

“Yup. All the time. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. He does it to me too. It means he likes you.” Sam lies. Sean starts smiling.

“Oh, it does? That’s good then! Right, I’ll get the drinks then. What are you guys having?” He asks, heading up to the counter after both pass on their orders. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Sam rounds on Bucky.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You’re going to frighten the poor guy to death.” Sam hisses.

“Well, he’s weird right? Something’s off with him. He just doesn't seem genuine.” Bucky fires back. Sam frowns.

“No! He’s been nothing but polite, and you’re staring at him like you’re in Winter Soldier kill mode. Wait, you’re not actually in that...mode are you? You’re not gonna hurt him, right Bucky?”

“Depends how the rest of this goes.” Bucky keeps a close eye on Sean as he waits for the drinks to be made. But so far, Sean seems to be doing nothing wrong or weird, and for a split second, Bucky wonders if he’s the one in the wrong, and that he’s just misguided. That is however, until Sean notices a pretty auburn haired woman is in front of him in line, and Bucky thinks he notices him look down towards her butt. Okay he’s definitely looking at her butt. His gaze lingers for a little while, and Bucky feels the rage building up in him. How could he disrespect Y/N like that? A girl just as beautiful, actually more beautiful than the one in front of him, and yet he disrespects her like this? “See?! He just started staring at her ass!” Bucky hisses, and Sam glances up from his phone, looking over.

“I don’t see anything.” He shrugs, going back to his phone. Bucky huffs.

“Are you serious? You barely looked! And that’s not an okay thing for him to do! I’m going to say something.”

“No. No you aren’t.” Sam orders. “You have no way to tell if that’s even what he did. And even if it was, you are not confronting him in a public Starbucks. Remember what happened last time everyone saw you fighting people?” He asks, and Bucky is immediately reminded of his face all over the news when people thought he killed King T’Chaka, and during the bar fight in Madripoor, when everyone was filming him, ready to post about how dangerous he was all over the internet. Even though he hates to admit it, Sam is right. Making this whole thing public was not a good choice. ...That doesn’t mean he can’t do it in private though. “Listen Bucky, I don’t get why you hate this guy so much, and sure, if he’s really rude or gross, I’d get it. But I’m telling you, I just don’t see it. And in the nicest way, I think you’re just grasping at straws here.” For a second, Bucky considers launching Sam’s phone across the room, and making him look at Sean so he could see what he does, but decides that’s probably not the best thing to do. Stay low and all that. “Now. We’re going to have a nice coffee with Sean, and you’re not going to antagonise him. Right Bucky?” Bucky shakes his head. There was no way in hell he’s going to agree with that. Sam sighs.

“Why are you being like this? Y/N is someone I care about a lot, and I know you care about her too, so why won’t you listen to me and trust me on this?!” Bucky asks, and Sam raises an eyebrow.

“Of course I care about her Buck, but I think you’re going too far with this, and I’m worried it’s going to hurt her in the long run. Trust me on this. This kind of thing never ends well.” Bucky scoffs, and is about to say that he’s not going too far at all, and if Sam just listened and watched, he’d understand where he was coming from. But before he can open his mouth, Sean comes back, carrying a tray with their drinks and some snacks.

“Hey, sorry about your wait. It took longer than expected. I know you guys didn’t ask for them, but I got some cakes too. Y/N told me that you guys love them, so I thought I’d get them too.” He laughs awkwardly, still clearly intimidated by Bucky.

“You did? Well thank you Sean. Isn’t that nice Bucky?” Sam asks, giving Bucky a look.

“Thanks.” Bucky hisses, glaring down at the cake pop on the tray. Sean starts smiling. He’s right, he does like them...just when Y/N buys them for him though. And even though Sam was right about not confronting him in public, that doesn’t mean Bucky has to eat the cake. “I’m not hungry though.” Sean’s face falls, and Sam sighs, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, well...you can eat it later, right?” Sean asks.

“Mhm.” Bucky gives a tiny nod, making Sean look even more scared. Noticing this look and trying desperately to avoid the impending catastrophe, Sam starts up a conversation with Sean, whilst Bucky drinks his coffee and pipes up every so often with a grunt or a nod.

After a while, mostly filled with conversations between Sam and Sean and complete silence from Bucky, Sam gets up to go to the toilet. As he leaves, Sam gives Bucky a look, clearly pleading with him not to launch Sean through the window while he’s away. Bucky rolls his eyes and gestures for Sam to just go, which he does..whilst keeping his eyes on them the entire way there.

“So...” Sean trails off, laughing awkwardly.

”Let me get one thing clear.” Bucky says, and Sean audibly gulps, clearly startled. Bucky leans forward, and Sean immediately looks like he’s about to shit himself in fear. “Y/N means a lot to me. And if you do ANYTHING to hurt her, you will have me to deal with. You understand?” He hisses. Sean nods, still looking startled. “Say it.”

“Y-Yes Bucky...” He stammers out.

“Good. And let me tell you. Don’t think you can just...stare at other girls without repercussions. It wont end well, trust me.”

“But I didn’t...” He begins, and Bucky gives him another glare. He can see the guilt written all over his face. “Anyway. As long as you remember that, that’s all that matters.” He leans back into his seat, and takes another sip of his coffee. The pair sit in silence until Sam returns.

“Hey guys, I didn’t miss much did I? You’re both okay, right?”

“Yup.” Bucky and Sean say at the same time. Sam looks surprised by this, but smiles, clearly happy that Sean hasn’t been launched through the Starbucks window, even though that’s still what Bucky wanted to do.

~*~*~*~*~

After the trio are finished in Starbucks, they stand outside to say their goodbyes. Well. Two of them do at least. “Well, bye guys, it was uh...nice to see you both.” Sean forces a smile, clearly trying to not anger Bucky even more.

“Yeah it was fun! Hopefully we can do this again.” Sam grins, clearly not noticing the awkwardness between them both, or ignoring it. Sean grimaces, and walks away from the pair. Sam waves him off.

“I don’t get why you like him so much.” Bucky sighs, starting to walk back towards his apartment, closely accompanied by Sam, who’s still grinning.

“At first I didn’t understand why you don’t like him, but I think I do now. I realised it when I was in the bathroom.”

“Well, that is where you do most of your thinking.” Bucky counters, rolling his eyes. He already told him why he didn’t like Sean. In his eyes, there wasn’t much else to think about. Sam ignores the dig, and continues:

“It’s because you have a crush on Y/N, isn’t it?” Bucky stops in his tracks, turning towards Sam.

“Uh no, I don’t. Who says I do?!” Bucky lies. Sam’s grin grows even wider.

“Oh yes you DO Bucky. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before. It’s SO obvious!” Even though he tries desperately to stop it, Bucky feels his cheeks flush. Sam picks up on this immediately. “Ha! I knew it! You like her. I mean, I should’ve noticed sooner, with the way you look at her, and the way you speak about her.”

“Sam, can you shut up?” Bucky hisses. “Please.” Sam’s face softens. “Yes..I like her. I think she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and I’m so glad to be her friend. But that is NOT why I hate Sean. I don’t care who Y/N is with, as long as she’s happy and they treat her well, and I'm worried he isn't going to.” Bucky feels his heart sink as he says that he doesn’t care who she’s with. Of course, he wants it to be him more than anything...but life doesn’t always work out like that. After all, it had treated him so shittily in the past, there’s no way it would also give him the girl of his dreams. Bucky had learned a long time ago that his dreams weren’t meant to come true. But despite that, if he was destined to just be Y/N’s friend, that was okay with him.

“I’m sorry Bucky.” Sam says, sounding genuine. He reaches over and gives Bucky a pat on the back. “For what it’s worth, despite me not seeing Sean the way you do, your support and love for Y/N is really admirable, and shows how good a guy you are. I hope you find love and happiness with someone, even if it’s not with Y/N.”

“Thanks Sam.” Bucky gives a soft smile. He knows he doesn’t deserve it, but it was still nice to hear. The pair resume walking towards Bucky’s apartment.

“I will say though, you gotta work on your anger issues.”

“I don’t have anger issues.”

“...Yeah you do. I saw the way you looked at him. Anyway, I know the best way to do that...video games at your place.”

“Why is it always my place?”

“It’s nice, and you have better games than I do. I have Y/N to thank for that.” Sam walks on ahead, and Bucky rolls his eyes. Even though Sam sometimes gets on his nerves, he’s still incredibly glad to have him as a friend. Even when he eats all the food in his fridge.

~*~*~*~*~

The duo soon arrive at Bucky’s apartment, and are midway through a game of Mario Kart when they’re interrupted by the sound of banging on Bucky’s door. Pausing the game, Sam and Bucky exchange a cautious look as they slowly move towards the door, not wanting to be surprised by something that could be The Avengers’ newest threat. That is however, until a voice sounds through the door:

“JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!” Y/N calls. “I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.”

“Ooh, full name. You’re fucked.” Sam says, clearly trying not to laugh. Bucky glares at him, before steeling himself and opening the door. Y/N stands there, her arms folded and a glare on her face. “Oh she looks like you when she glares.” Sam whispers loud enough for just Bucky to hear.

“Um...hey Y/N.” Bucky gives her a small wave.

“Don’t ‘hey Y/N’ me asshole. I need to talk to you.” She orders, walking into the apartment. “Oh, hi Sam. Can I speak to Bucky please? Alone?” She asks, almost hissing the words.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Sam responds, holding his hands up in surrender and leaving the room, taking a bowl of M&Ms with him. As soon as the door clicks shut behind Sam, Y/N unleashes her anger on Bucky.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” She asks. For a second, Bucky almost responds with ‘many, many things’ but he realises that might be the wrong thing to say. Y/N does not look like she can handle jokes right now. “Sean told me about your coffee date. I know you’re not the best person with socialising but GOD Bucky, are you even trying to be civil to him?”

“Doll, listen...” Bucky begins, but she cuts him off.

“Nope. Nuh uh. You do not get to call me that right now. And I’m not even finished speaking.” Bucky takes the hint and shuts up. “Everytime he speaks, or even breathes, you look like you want to wring his neck!”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! I’ve seen it! And not even that, you THREATENED HIM!”

“Hey, I’m just being protective of you!” Bucky defends, trying not to feel bad. This is their first fight...ever, and he hates it. Especially because he’s trying to protect Y/N, and she just won’t listen.

“That’s not being protective! That’s being weird and creepy!”

“Exactly what I said!” Sam calls from the other room.

“Thanks Sam.” Bucky and Y/N say in unison. They both look at each other, the argument the last thing on their minds. “...Jinx.” Bucky whispers, smiling. For a second, a smile creeps its way onto Y/N’s face, and Bucky feels hopeful that they can have a civil conversation. But then, Y/N clearly remembers where she is, and the smile falls.

“Bucky...please don’t do that. Please don’t.” She pleads. She looks sad to be fighting with him, and Bucky feels a pang in his chest. Both about their fight, and about what he needs to tell her.

“I’m sorry d-Y/N.” He quickly clarifies. He takes a seat on his couch, beckoning for her to join him, which she does. He takes her hands in his, gently running his thumb over her knuckles with his non metal hand. “It may seem like I’ve been too hard on Sean, but trust me, I do have my reasons.” Y/N frowns, and Bucky continues. “When we were out...I saw him staring at another girl. He definitely stared at her butt. And because I care about you, I wanted him to know that wasn’t acceptable, and if he hurts you, he’ll have to answer to me.” Y/N is silent for a few seconds, frowning as she takes it all in. Bucky waits patiently, waiting to support her when she needs it. Finally, she speaks.

“Oh my god...” She begins. But just as Bucky is about to comfort her, she finishes her sentence. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” She scoffs. Bucky starts frowning, and before he can speak, Y/N stands up, pulling her hands out of his grasp. “I can’t believe you Bucky. First you threaten my boyfriend, and now you stoop so low to make up lies about him! I know you don't like him, but even so, that's no excuse.”

“B-But I didn’t! I saw it!” Bucky stammers, quickly getting up.

“Oh you did, did you? Did you also see a unicorn? Did you see a flying pig? Come on Bucky, just tell me the truth. You didn’t see those things because they don’t exist. I know he wouldn’t do that to me.”

“...And you don’t trust me?” He asks.

“I thought I did, but I don’t know if I can anymore.” She replies. Bucky swears he feels his heart shatter in that moment. A mixture of anger and pain begin to build in his stomach, and he feels tears welling up in his eyes. “I know. Why don’t we ask Sam what he saw?” She asks, walking towards the room. Bucky gasps, trying to reach out and stop her.

“No...no you don’t have to.” Scoffing, she turns around.

“Why? Because he didn’t see it?” She asks. Instead of letting him answer, she opens the door to a startled Sam, still clutching the bowl. “Sam. Did you see what Bucky said he saw? Did Sean cheat on me with a girl in Starbucks?”

“Well, I personally didn’t see it, but-“

“And that’s all I need.” Y/N sighs. She turns back to Bucky, her eyes shimmering with tears. “Just...I don’t know what I can say to you.” She sniffles. “I thought you were my friend.”

“Doll, I am, I swear-“

“I SAID DON’T CALL ME THAT!” She snaps, tears spilling from her eyes. “I...I need to go. Sean’s waiting on me. Just. Leave us alone please. I can’t be friends with you if you can’t respect me and my relationship. If you want to apologise, you know where to find me.” She starts walking towards the front door.

“Wait.” Bucky gasps, and Y/N stops in her tracks. “Please believe me Y/N. I wouldn’t lie to you about this.” She stays silent. “Please Y/N.” Bucky repeats, moving closer towards her. When he sees he’s getting no response, he feels the anger rising. “I’m not apologising for being right!” He says louder than he expected to. Y/N sniffles again, and Bucky immediately regrets his tone.

“Well....I guess this is goodbye then.” Y/N says, and Bucky can hear her start to cry. ”Goodbye Bucky. Bye Sam.” Without another word, she opens the door of Bucky’s apartment and leaves, closing the door behind her.

Bucky stands there for what feels like an eternity, just staring at the door. Part of him knows he should run after her, but it feels like his feet are rooted to the ground. So instead, he stands there, waiting for the slim chance of her coming back. At this point, he doesn’t even care who’s right or wrong...he just wants to apologise to her and have her back in his life. As time goes on, he slowly starts to accept she’s not coming back. When he said he felt his heart shatter before, this feels like the tiny shards were stabbing him, and piercing every part of him. And despite everything Bucky has been through, the fights, the torture, the nightmares...this pain hurts more than anything he’s ever experienced in his life.

“Bucky...” He registers Sam’s voice from beside him, but can’t even say anything back to him. “Are you....are you alright?” Sam asks. Bucky can tell from his voice that he knows he’s asking a dumb question. How the hell could anyone be okay after an argument like that? But he knows that Sam’s a therapist, and that’s what they do. His own doc would do the same. But the question still made him realise that he is definitely not okay. A tear falls from his eyes and rolls down his cheek, and Bucky says the only thing he’s able to say.

“I’ve lost her forever Sam.”

~*~*~*~*~

In the weeks after his argument with Y/N, Bucky has become even more reclusive than he is usually. He barely leaves his apartment, only venturing outside to go to his appointments or to get food. Aside from seeing his doctor and occasionally replying to Sam’s texts, he has no other social interactions. Y/N was his everything: his best friend...actually, his only friend, and one of the only girls he’s ever loved. And now, she was gone. And it was like Bucky’s happiness and joy for life left with her. After all, she was usually the reason why he was happy. Well...the only reason.

But he doesn’t judge her for being upset at him. Bucky has started to blame himself for what happened. Maybe he had seen things that didn’t exist, or taken things the wrong way. All he wants to do is go over to Y/N’s apartment, apologise to her and get her back. He doesn’t even care about being with her, he just wants to be her friend again. Unfortunately, Bucky is far too scared to do it. The last time they saw each other was filled with so much pain and tears, he didn’t want to put them both through that again. That and he was terrified it wouldn’t work out, and that he’d never see her again. So instead, he did nothing. He felt horrible about it, but he knew it was the best option, and nobody else would get hurt.

However, one day, Bucky has decided he’s fed up with being stuck in his apartment, and chooses to go for a walk. Once he is outside, he walks towards the park. As he walks, he takes a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air and the sun on his skin. He just wishes Y/N was here with him. Memories flash through his mind of spending time with her, having picnics together, buying ice creams for each other, giving her piggy back rides, running for shelter in the rain, playing catch and almost hitting people in the face because he forgot about the true strength of his arm. The memories are full of laughter, and Bucky almost starts laughing as he remembers them. But then he remembers that they’re not friends anymore, and his smile fades. He continues walking, trying his best to ignore the guilt.

As he looks around, he looks up and sees a familiar face from across the park, stopping him in his tracks. Is that...Sean? It definitely looks like him. Bucky realises he’s finally been granted a second chance. All he has to do is go over there, apologise and then everything would be better again. But as he’s making his way over to him, Bucky realises he’s not alone. Sean is accompanied by a woman. A woman who definitely isn’t Y/N. Although the can feel anger rising within him, Bucky takes a deep breath. Maybe he got it wrong again, and this isn’t Sean, or the woman he’s with is a distant relative? Or a friend? ...And then Sean pulls her close, and kisses her on the lips. Okaaaay....maybe Sean somehow has an identical twin who just so happens to live in the same town as them, and who neither he nor Y/N have mentioned before? Bucky suddenly realises the pair are heading towards him, and he’ll have to hide, or risk being discovered.

Thankfully, even though Bucky is still trying to forget the time he spent as the Winter Soldier, he hasn’t forgotten the stealth that came with it. So, he manages to find a hiding spot. Unfortunately, the park isn’t the best and most stealthiest place to hide, especially not for a man with a metal arm. So, Bucky has to resort to turning away and using his jacket’s collar as a form of protection. Thankfully, neither notice him, and walk past him. As they do, he hears a part of their conversation:

“Sean! You’re so bad!” She laughs.

“Can you blame me? You’re just so gorgeous baby.” Bucky feels his fists clenching as the reality begins to sink in. He was right. Sean is cheating on Y/N. He’s cheating on his best friend and the girl he’s been in love with since they first met. Bucky almost runs after Sean and confronts him. But before he does, his mind pictures Y/N, sifting alone in her apartment, completely unaware of the truth. And he realises what he has to do. So he starts to run towards her apartment.

On the way there, all Bucky can think about is the heartbreak that will be on her face when he tells her the truth. It’s going to break both of their hearts, but he has to do it. Soon, he reaches her building, and heads up to her apartment. As he knocks, he hopes to every god that she’s not in, so he doesn’t have to break the bad news to her. But despite all his hopes, the door opens, and Y/N peeks out. A smile grows onto her face when she sees Bucky, which causes another pang at his heart. How can he do this to her?

“Bucky...hi.” She smiles. “I was wondering if you’d come round. I need to talk to you. I-“

“Y/N listen.” Bucky cuts her off. She looks at him, her eyes curious. Sighing, he continues. “I have to tell you something. I was just at the park, and I saw Sean with another girl.” Y/N scoffs, and almost cuts in, but Bucky continues. “Please, hear me out. I know you probably don’t believe me, but I did see it, I promise. And the way they spoke about each other....I’m so sorry.”

“Seriously Bucky? You’re doing this again?” She sighs. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. I trust Sean. I know you don’t trust him, but I know him better than you do. He wouldn’t do this. You don’t need to lie about him.” Bucky feels himself deflate slightly at that. Why won’t she believe him? Okay, maybe the first time, it was unbelievable, but now?

“...That’s not it at all! I’m just trying to protect you!” Bucky says. Y/N looks at him, a sympathetic look in her eyes.

“Well, I appreciate it, but I really don’t need you to. Sean and I were talking and-“ Bucky groans. That’s just what he needed. “And maybe...I don’t know, you’re jealous? Or you’re upset that I’m not spending as much time with you? If you are that’s okay, I’d understand. You don’t have to make up these lies. Both Sean and I are willing to sit and chat with you about this if you want, or I can come with you to your next therapy appointment if that’s easier.”

“No.” Bucky shakes his head. “I’m not lying. Please...why won’t you believe me?”

“Because I love him, and he loves me. When I'm with him, I'm happy, and so is he. Why would he do anything to jeopardise that?” Bucky feels his heart break again. Especially because he knows Sean doesn’t love her as much as he says he does. “Look, why don’t you come in for some tea, or a beer?” She offers, standing aside for him. Close to tears again, Bucky shakes his head.

“I’m sorry Y/N. But I can’t. If you don’t want to hear the truth because you’re so in love, I..I guess I understand. But I can’t stay here and watch you both together, knowing the kind of person he is.” He reaches out and gently takes her hands in his. “If you need me, you know where to find me. If not...well, I guess this is goodbye.” He whispers. He can see her face fall, and he turns and walks away. Bucky manages to maintain a straight face until he reaches the elevator, and then...he lets the tears fall.

~*~*~*~*~

In the days after Bucky said goodbye to Y/N, he feels even worse than he did the first time. This time feels more final. Now he doesn’t venture out of his apartment at all. Sam has been trying his best to talk to him, and get him outside, but Bucky has been ignoring him. He knows he shouldn’t be ignoring his friend, especially after losing one already...but by this point, Bucky has decided that he might as well lose all his friends at this point. He just doesn’t care anymore.

One day, almost two weeks since Bucky said goodbye to Y/N, he gets up around the middle of the afternoon, ready to spend this day like any other. But he’s soon stopped by a knock on his door. “Go away Sam!” He calls. But the knocking continues. “I’m not answering the door!” But still, the knocking doesn't stop. Bucky huffs, and stomps towards the door, flinging it open. “Sam! I told you to leave me alo-....Oh.” There, stands Y/N, tears streaming down her face. Seeing her there, Bucky is silent for a while. Part of him is convinced he’s still dreaming, and almost pinches himself to check he isn’t. But before he can do that, Y/N speaks, her voice shaky.

“I owe you an apology.” Bucky stands aside, letting her in, which she gladly accepts. She sits on his couch, bringing her knees up to her face as Bucky closes the door.

“Do you uh..do you want something to drink? Or eat?” He offers. Y/N shakes her head, and Bucky sits down beside her. “What happened?” He asks, although he already has a feeling what it is.

“Well...you were right. He cheated on me. I uh...I came home from work early, and went over to his place to surprise him. I let myself in and...he was fucking some girl on the couch. Guess I got the surprise.” She sniffles again, before bursting into tears.

“Oh doll...” Bucky soothes. “Come here.” He opens his non metal arm, and she scoots over to him. He wraps his arm around her, pulling her into his chest, and holds her as she cries. Anger grows within him as she cries her eyes out. He’s going to kill him.

“I’m...I’m sorry Bucky. I just feel...so stupid! How could I have not believed you! You were just trying to tell me the truth...and I didn’t listen! I said you were a liar!” She wails, and Bucky rubs her back.

“No, no. It’s okay. You don’t have to apologise.”

“B-B-But I was so horrible to you, a-and condescending. I’m the worst friend ever!” She sniffles. Bucky knows his shirt is definitely drenched with tears by now, but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is making sure Y/N is happy.

“Y/N. It’s okay. Honestly. You were in love, and that’s totally understandable. I wouldn’t have believed me either.” She looks as if she doesn’t fully believe what he’s saying, but doesn’t say anything regardless. Instead, they both sit together, and Bucky gently rubs her back and down her arms, letting her cry out all her tears. “Tell you what. How about you stay over here tonight? I think there’s still some of your things here from when you last stayed over. I have a shirt I can give you if there isn’t. We can order some takeout, whatever you want, and we can play some video games...watch a movie, even one of those Disney ones you like so much.” Y/N smiles at that, and Bucky smiles with her. "There’s that smile I love so much. And tomorrow, I’ll go with you to his place, and we can grab your stuff. I can also kick his ass, or just stand around looking intimidating, whatever works.” Y/N lets out a loud laugh at that, making Bucky’s smile grow even wider. Hearing her laugh again is great.

“You are great at that, I have to admit.” She nods. Bucky winks. “Thanks Bucky. You’re the best. I don’t know what I did to deserve you in my life.” Bucky’s heart soars at that. It’s been a long time since someone told him that.

“You know doll, I ask myself the same question about you too.” He responds, making her smile. Before either can say anything though, there’s another knock at he door. Both look at each other, confused. “Sam? Is that you?” Bucky calls. They get their answer a few seconds later.

“Y/N? Are you in there? Let me in please!” Sean’s voice calls.

“Oh god, what is he doing here?” Y/N groans. Getting progressively angrier and protective, Bucky gets up off the couch, heading towards the door. Y/N gets up too, and Bucky gently moves her behind him for protection. Bucky opens the door, and Sean looks up, spotting Y/N behind Bucky.

“Oh of course. She ran to the cyborg.” He scoffs. Bucky can smell some alcohol on his breath. His body tenses.

“Sean, what the fuck?! Don’t speak to him like that! Especially not when you’re the one who I just caught cheating on me.” Y/N orders, but she’s ignored. Sean looks at Bucky’s angry face, and laughs.

“I should’ve known. I can’t believe you’re getting mad at me for cheating once. Look at the two of you! Maybe I should’ve kept my eyes on you both. Who’s to say you didn’t cheat on me with him, huh?” Bucky’s fists clench, and Sean picks up on this immediately. “Oh, look. What are you going to do to me, Winter Soldier? Are you going to kill me?” Bucky thinks it over for a moment, then laughs. Sean looks confused.

“I was thinking about it, but actually no, I won’t. I think I’ll let her handle it.” He smirks, standing aside to let Y/N step forward. She does...and immediately kicks Sean right in his balls, causing him to double over and groan in pain.

“You’re a fucking asshole. Bucky was right about you, and I should’ve listened to him instead of your dumb ass. Because of you, I almost lost one of the best things I've ever had in my life. And you only cheated on me once? Really? Somehow, I doubt that.” She hisses. “Tomorrow, I’m going to come and pick up my stuff, and you can come and get yours from mine. Whether it’ll all be intact or in the garbage, I don’t know. After that, you’re going to stay away from Bucky and I. Do you understand?” When he doesn’t reply fast enough, she kicks him in the leg, causing another groan. “Do you understand?!” She repeats, her voice angrier.

“Yes! Yes! I got it!” He says quickly. Y/N stands up straight again.

“Good. Now go back to whoever you were fucking on the couch, and leave us the fuck alone.” She orders, walking back into the apartment and slamming the door.

“Hey! That was great!” Bucky grins. “You sure showed him better than I ever could.”

“You really think so?” She asks, still slightly hyped on adrenaline. Bucky holds his arms out, pulling her into a tight hug.

“Yes! Of course I do!” He encourages, squeezing her even tighter. They stay like that for a while, until the pair suddenly realise just how close they are to each other. They awkwardly spring apart, and both blush. Even though Bucky likes being so close to her, and wishes it could be like that all the time...he also knows how weird it is to do that to his best friend, especially when she just found her boyfriend cheating on her. “Um...wanna order a pizza?” He asks, and Y/N nods.

~*~*~*~*~

Later that night, Bucky and Y/N lay side by side on Bucky’s couch, a large cheese pizza between their legs, and an half finished bottle of rosé on the floor beside the couch...mostly for Y/N. The opening song to Beauty and the Beast plays on the television in front of them. “Here’s where she meets Prince Charming, but she won’t discover that it’s him til chapter three....” Y/N sings to herself, and she looks over at Bucky as she does. A small smile plays on her lips, and she starts to giggle. Bucky raises an eyebrow, asking if everything is okay. “It’s uh...it’s dumb. Well, not dumb. I was being dumb.” Y/N speaks quickly, before giggling even more. Bucky looks confused, and she continues. “I probably shouldn’t say this until I’m sober, but I’ve had a rough day and I have to let this out. It’s been eating me up inside for the past few days, and this afternoon.”

Bucky pauses the movie, and turns to her. “Well that line kind of fits us! I mean....uh. I wasn’t being entirely honest with you at first. When Sean came over, and he said he should have kept his eyes on us, uh...” She takes a breath in an attempt to compose herself. “A few days ago, we had an argument about you...well, me and you.” She clarifies. “He was convinced that I liked you more than I liked him, and when I was on my way over here, I had a think about it, and....I think he’s maybe right.” Bucky almost feels his heart stop at that moment. She...likes him? Does she mean..in that way? Y/N continues. “I asked myself why I kept listening to him instead of you, and I realised...I wasn’t ever in love with him that much. But you...god Bucky, I’ve been in love with you since I met you. I just didn’t think you liked me in that way, so when a guy showed up who said he liked me, I kind of jumped at that and didn’t want to lose it, even when it’s obvious he didn’t love me. I was just so desperate to be loved, I blocked everything else out. And look where it got me.” She scoffs, finishes her glass of wine, and places it down. “I’m sorry Bucky. For everything.”

“You don’t have to apologise. I told you.” Bucky replies, still in shock she might like him back.

“I know, I know, but I do. And for what it’s worth, it’s okay if you don’t like me in that way. I just had to let it out. I’d understand if you don’t.” Without even responding, Bucky leans forward, and gently presses a kiss to her lips.

“Well...I do. I have for a long time.” He whispers. Y/N’s eyes go wide, and her cheeks flush.

“Oh...” She trails off. “Well, would you uh...would you like to go out with me sometime? On a date?” She asks. Bucky chuckles softly.

“I would love to. But first, can I ask you to do something for me?” Y/N nods. “Can you kiss me again?” He asks. Smiling, both lean forward, pressing a kiss to each other’s lips. Even though both have no idea where their relationship will go from here, they’re ready to face it together.

And this time, Bucky doesn’t hate her new boyfriend. At least...not too much.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky imagine #bucky fic #bucky x y/n #fanfiction #fanfic

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wherethingscomebackx · 3 years

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Top 25 Larry Fics of 2020

h 2020 was HELLISH. So thank you to all the writers, and I mean ALL of them, who kept us occupied as the world continues to burn.

You may be familiar with these lists:

Top 25 Larry fics of 2016

Top 25 Larry fics of 2017

Top 25 Larry fics of 2018

Top 25 Larry fics of 2019

We’re going on our 5th year!! As always, I read a lot of fic and the majority of it is Larry. I like making lists and I like Larry so I thought I’d do some minimal research of the top 25 larry fics published/completed in 2020 in order of least to most kudos (with links). All of these fics are top notch so you should all check them out!

25.) a trail of honey through it all by @yvesaintlourent (27k)

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

24.) even the best laid plans by @falsegoodnight (25k)

“Anyways,” Louis stresses, narrowing his eyes, “just let me say it and then rate how terrible of an idea it is on a scale from one to ten.”

“Alright,” Zayn agrees, sitting up expectantly.

“I want to ask Harry Styles to take my virginity,” Louis blurts, holding his hands out for emphasis.

The way Zayn’s eyes bulge is almost comical. “Negative infinity,” he says, voice choked. “Negative infinity times negative infinity.”

“Technically, a negative times a negative is -”

“Really negative infinity,” Zayn corrects himself, shaking his head wildly. “Louis, what the fuck?”

Or, Louis wants to have sex with someone and decides Harry is the perfect alpha for the job.

23.) A Distant Hazy Light by @greenfeelings (76k)

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

22.) Ghost Note Symphony by whoknows (96k)

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

21.) Until by @allwaswell16 (38k)

Rural Eagle County, Colorado wasn’t the type of place to find a famous musician or actor. At least not until songwriter Louis Tomlinson showed up with pop star Niall Horan to visit his uncle’s horse ranch, and they just happened to find themselves next door to a reclusive former movie star.

20.) Strangers in Love by sweetums (42k)

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

Prompt 51: An amnesia fic where louis and harry were enemies to lovers but after an accident, louis only remembers those memories that him and harry hated each other. now harry has to fix it. I think something like this less dark and less angsty compared to other amnesia fics and it could be funny

19.) A Long Way From The Playground by Pink_Sunsets (170k)

One Direction is broken up. They broke up five years ago. That should be the end of the story, right?

Harry is finished with One Direction. He now has a new life, one with two kids and a successful solo career. And he’s happy.

But a call one night from management flips Harry’s whole new life upside down, and he’s forced to face the life he had left behind.

As well as a certain blue eyed man who had left him behind.

18.) my love’s not simple (it’s fragile) by @falsegoodnight (27k)

“Can I take you out tomorrow?” he asks. “My shift ends at 7 but we can go for dinner at 8.”

Louis is silent for a few seconds and then, “Like… on a date?”

Harry swallows thickly. He hasn’t done this in years, hasn’t ever wanted to. “Yeah.”

He’s worried he’s misread things but then Louis raises his head to kiss Harry’s cheek. “Yeah,” he says easily. “Sure.”

Tension leaves his body swiftly. “Are you sure?” asks Harry. “I know we’re both so busy but I can’t not try with you, Lou.”

“Neither can I,” says Louis. “I think we can figure it out. I care about you a lot Harry. We’ve known each other for a week, but I already like you so much.”

Or Harry's new job is threatened by his impending rut. Desperate for a solution, he allows Niall to introduce him to Louis, an omega whose heat begins the same day. They click.

17.) Cocaine for Breakfast by @harryeatsburger (309k)

“It’s an easy job.” He continues, as if Louis wants to listen. “Like I said, a few trips. Parties, students, nothing dramatic.”

Louis gazes over to Harry. He’s looking thoughtful now, eyes on the green like he’s talking more to himself than Louis.

“Clubbing, drinks. Whatever, the business is just a side thing.”

That’s not how Louis remembers it to be, “You lying?” He honestly can’t tell.

Harry shakes his head slowly, meeting Louis' eyes.

“No,” He answers almost toneless. Harry clears his throat, “I won’t put you in any dangerous situation.” His voice is sincere, Louis can tell he means it, his jade green eyes glinting with truth.

or, - Louis Tomlinson is a drug addict, sent away from his beloved party-scene to recover. There, he discovers that small towns have just as much access to drugs as London did, plus something even better that he just can't get enough of. That something is a boy with green eyes and bouncy curls named Harry Styles. -

16.) Tastes like Strawberries by @sadaveniren (4k)

I’m stressed. I’m nesting and demand cuddles. Come over

Harry frowned and double checked who the text was from. Yup, it still said Louis - Grad, which meant it was from Louis from his grad school.

aka Louis texts Harry by mistake. It works out

15.) the way the storm blows by @rbbsbb (21k)

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

14.) bruise you like a peach by @falsegoodnight (40k)

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

13.) Watching The World Fall by whoknows (11k)

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

12.) Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds by @2tiedships2 (38k)

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

11.) The Wrath of the Emerald Eyes by @purpledandeli0n (85k)

His chin is grabbed harshly, facing the two deep green eyes that have been getting on his nerves for the past ten minutes. The smirk on the man's face does not vanish. The grip of his hand on Louis' chin does not soften, his thumb at the side of his lower lip.

His smile widens as he answers Louis' question, ''My name is Styles, but you will call me Captain."

•

Pirate AU

10.) Canyon Moon by @eeveelou (40k)

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

9.) We Both Got Nothing to Hide by lovelarry10 (43k)

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

8.) sleeping on our problems by @falsegoodnight (67k)

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down.

There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word.

His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared.

Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

7.) like it’s a game by @soldouthaz (32k)

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

6.) before we knew by @falsegoodnight (39k)

“C’mon Lou,” says Zayn after a moment, He sounds even more exasperated than before. Louis sort of has a knack for exasperating people, especially people like Zayn who aren’t usually bothered by his brattiness. “Can’t you give this guy a chance? Harry Styles? Aren’t you curious about him at all?”

Despite his best efforts, Louis still flinches at the name. He really shouldn’t be so affected after all these years. He’s seen the name printed down the curve of his waist in obnoxiously and uncommonly large loopy letters every single day since his sixteenth birthday eight years ago. He’s very familiar with the name Harry Styles.

It sounds pretentious and Louis hates it.

He hates everything about his supposed soulmate.

He hates his large handwriting that stands out like a claim on his skin whenever he’s walking around shirtless. He hates his pretentious name. And now he hates his supposed curls and green eyes and dimples.

Or Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

5.) Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo (114k)

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

4.) You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) by @harryrainbows (95k)

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

Or: Harry and Louis are forced to fake-date after an old video from when they were dating emerges.

3.) The Space Between by @lads-laddylads (39k)

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

2.) Nothing But You On My Mind by @absoloutenonsense (83k)

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

1.) Collision by @tequiladimples (224k)

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

#larry #larry stylinson #larry fic rec #harry styles #louis tomlinson #fic rec #one direction #1d #one direction fic rec #larry fan fiction #updated because I'm an idiot and added a zarry fic

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

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I’m sorry, but can I just go on a little rant about the Louis, clouis, and the Clem comic...?

I didn’t really talk about Louis in my overall review of the comic because I wanted that to be more contained to the content shown on the pages, Clementine’s relationship with AJ, and her as a character.... but the more I think about these comics and Louis, the more frustrated I become thinking about what Clementine abandoning everyone would do to him.

[... okay it’s not little anymore since I guess I can never just do anything simple when it comes to Louis, sorry my bad]

So, no surprise, we all know the comic’s bullshit by now. Clementine leaving everything and everyone behind because she’s not happy is dumb, AJ just letting her go is dumb, and Clem going to the mountains on crutches and a peg leg to find this so-called happiness is dumb.

Now that we’ve established it’s dumb, I wanna talk about Louis because I got a lot of built up feelings about how bullshit this storyline is with how Clementine would not only abandon AJ, but also abandon Louis.

Because let me tell you..... his heart would be broken beyond repair and I need to talk about why.

Sigh.... so.... muh boy.

Before he met Clementine, Louis was this laidback, irresponsible, but caring and musical person who kept his head down to avoid conflict and never looked at the future. He was the kind of person who took things one day at a time, saw survival as a day-to-day task, and said that the future doesn’t exist, there’s only today. You get the point, he was never too concerned with things because they always seemed to work out, and if they didn’t, then that sucks and that’s why we should appreciate every day while we have it.

Louis is shown to be charismatic and friendly, he spends his free time playing piano and card games, but no one really takes him seriously. Not even Marlon, his best friend for 8+ years. While he doesn’t seem to be on bad terms with anyone [including Aasim, they just act like people who disagree with the other’s point of view and have had the same argument many times, but that doesn’t mean they hate each other, y’know?] he also doesn’t appear super close with anyone outside of Marlon and possibly Violet, but even then.

Marlon’s shown to have little faith in him with the way he talks about if Louis will even show up to hunt. He has a controlling grip on Louis that’s prominent during the confrontation scene when he uses intimidation to try to convince Louis to not interfere. Oh, and there’s the fact that Marlon’s been lying to Louis for the past year about the twins and then continued to lie to his face about what really happened to Brody... which isn’t great when you consider how Louis was the only one who had blind faith in him as a leader and, according to Marlon, was the only one who couldn’t see how pathetic he always was.

Violet, while having a few more nicer moments with him than Marlon, still invalidates him and his feelings several times throughout the first half of the game which makes me wonder how close they ever were, or at least if Violet ever considered him a close friend to begin with. And no, a small monologue in the dorms doesn’t make everything better or confirm they were brotp the whole time... especially when once they’re on the boat, Louis might as well not exist because Violet can’t be bothered to acknowledge what happened to him or inquire about how he’s doing. I guess she just didn’t have time react while standing in her cell for several unbothered minutes-- no wait, it’s she already reacted off screen. Right. Good writing is good.

What I’m getting at here is that even though Louis is surrounded by people who he genuinely cares about, there is an argument to be made that he’s a lonely person. Hell, he’s aware of his loneliness when he says that no one hears past his music and jokes. I mean, how many nights do you think he spent by himself playing the piano because no one wanted to hear it? Are they like Violet and crack jokes about how he doesn’t have actual talent? Probably, given that someone literally carved “you suck at playing” onto the side of the damn piano.

Oh, and let’s touch on that backstory of his. Louis grew up wealthy with two parents who loved him and each other, and they gave him anything he wanted except singing lessons. Louis says he wanted to be a real musician. But I guess his father didn’t like that idea and told him no, with the [as Louis puts it] dumb dad lesson of, “You get to be happy, or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” ...which is interesting given that Louis and his family were stupid rich but also.... were they not happy? well, that doesn’t make sense because little Louis knew that if he broke up their marriage, they would be hurt.

So yeah, Louis was so upset that his father continually refused to let him take singing lessons that he broke into the man’s credit cards and faked an affair, which led to his parents divorcing... and then he spit his father’s words back in his face.

Then they dumped him at Ericson. And the walkers came.

There’s so much to unpack from the story he tells that it could be it’s own analysis, but basically.... Louis is aware of why what he did was fucked up, and he carries it with him every day.

He regrets what he did, chews himself out for being such a “vindictive fuckhead” [and the amount of force used in that line tells you a lot, like how it’s not the first time he’s chastised himself like this] and he admits that he doesn’t even know the person he’s talking about. Yet, he still sees himself as bad, saying that they [I assume the staff] told him and the other kids they’re bad people. I don’t doubt that Louis internalized that which played a huge role in the confidence and self-esteem issues he has during tfs.

Anyway, I’ll come back to this later, but when you take that amount of guilt and regret, and mix it with the fact that they dropped him off at this school that was supposed to make him better.... then the walkers came and those teachers, staff, and headmaster? Gone. Left a bunch of kids to fend for themselves, with the exception of Ms. Martin [but given how she looks when we find her I doubt she lasted that long] and I cannot imagine how horrifying that was for all of them. The dead are up eating people, and if you die you become one of them... and the people you thought you could rely on just fucking left you to die at this school.

Every kid in that school has trauma and abandonment issues from before and after the world went to shit, every last one, and Louis isn’t the exception here. Over the years, a lot of kids died and they’ve all seen horrible shit. They all knew they were never going to see their families again, and as far as we know, no one came to get their kids at the beginning. They had to find ways of coping while trying to survive, and all they had left was each other.

Louis copes with music and games and jokes. He’s built up this persona where it seems like he’s unaffected by the comments the others make, that the death and suffering he’s gone through is in the past, that he is confident and open to those around him.

But then Clementine and AJ show up, and Louis grows close with both of them. They had immediate chemistry upon first meeting, he was the one who looked after AJ since it seems like everyone else saw him as a little terror, and he went out of his way to be kind and make them comfortable.

When they go hunting with him, Louis and Clementine have a moment after taking care of the walker where they lower their guards a bit-- Louis gives her more in-depth reasons for his views of survival, and going off her expression, it gets to her and makes her think.... but they’ve know each other a day and he’s not quick to infodump his life story or let her in, so he cuts the conversation short.

Then we have the Marlon confrontation scene that I have gone over so many times in the past. I won’t dillydally with it too long but..... Clementine appeals to Louis, who curls in on himself because of the control Marlon has on him. He wants to help, and hell, he knows this is wrong but he’s so used to not getting involved that he gets defensive.... plus, he’s known Clementine for two days, and he’s known Marlon for 8+ years.... he wants to believe Marlon but you can tell he doesn’t want this, either. It takes Clementine talking to him to give him courage to stand between her and Marlon’s gun and it’s a lot.

AJ shoots Marlon and everything goes to shit, and Louis is a goddamn mess. His best friend was murderer right in front of him, so add that to the trauma list, and he’s overwhelmed with all these feelings that again.... they keep getting invalidated by Violet because “Marlon was a liar and murderer, therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about his death. Get over yourself, Louis, you can be such a shithead sometimes.”

Oh yeah Vi, I guess he should care more about two people he’s known for a total of two days rather than for the safety of the people [including you] he’s grown up with and cared about for 8+ years.... makes sense.

So yeah, little to no support during this time. Alone again.

And just because I have to make this clear so no one gets a hair up their ass-- both Louis and Violet are wrong here. Kicking them out isn’t the solution, but neither is acting like AJ was right to commit murder just because it was Marlon.

But plots gotta plot, so they get voted out and you can see that Louis is conflicted about the whole thing. He wants them gone, but at the same time, he knows what kicking them out means. You can see it on his face that he’s not okay with kicking them out. He’s hurting when he’s there in the dorms telling them how the vote went... he literally doesn’t know what else to do. He just knows that everything hurts, Clem and AJ caused it, and he wants the pain to stop. He even tries to justify it to himself by figuring that they’ve done this before so they’ll be fine. Not a great thing to say, Lou.

Anyway, we know the story, Clem and AJ come back and Louis once again sees the consequences of acting out of pain.... AJ is shot because Louis was hurt and he made a bad decision that he’s gotta live with.... something that he’s done before, and this affirms to him that he’s bad. He wishes he could take it back, and goes as far as to admit that to Clementine during the archery scene.

By the way, credit to him for his apology to her. It’s rare in these games that Clem gets a genuine apology from someone who hurt her and doesn’t turn around to repeat the hurtful behavior, y’know? Plus, I can think of plenty of characters who owed Clem an apology in the past or if they did apologize, it was half-assed.

You can feel how conflicted he is with this whole thing-- learning who Marlon really was and what he did, feeling something for Clementine before everything went down and not knowing how to handle those feelings afterward, caring about AJ and understanding why he thought shooting was the best choice but still hurting that his friend is dead....

And the thing is.... Louis forgives her for so much, as she does him, and through all of that bullshit, they manage to develop that strong connection that turns romantic. Louis lets himself be fully vulnerable with her and is honest about his feelings, how she listened when no one else did and seeing him for more than just the persona he put on.

This works on Clementine’s side, too. Clementine has been through her own fair share of bullshit-- trauma, abandonment, loss, injury, you name it. She’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and has been in enough groups to know that romance usually ends in heartbreak.... and yet, she’s willing to open herself up to Louis and admit she feels a lot for him.

Is it a little rushed? Yep. Could it have been handled better? Of course, most things this season could’ve, but what we got was pretty good.

So Clementine and Louis are romantically involved now, the raiders attack, and she saves him... and boy does Louis feel guilty about that one, too. He feels bad enough that he questions why she would pick him because he can’t fathom his life being worth saving over another’s. He doesn’t see himself as useful, and even though Clementine is literally his girlfriend at this point, his self-esteem is so all over the place that he can’t understand why she would have him at her side.

And when Clementine tells him that he’s too important to her, he’s too baffled to even give a response. He looks at her in disbelief like he wasn’t expecting her to say that. But this shows that at the beginning of their relationship, he still doubts himself, and through her working with him, he begins to build up that strength in himself.

He becomes brave enough to share what got him sent to the school with her, and he plays Don’t Be Afraid for everyone at the party and like.... for once, everyone is listening to him. Really listening to him. They’re not talking shit about his musical skills, they’re not ignoring him or the feelings he’s putting into the song, they’re sitting there with him and I just..... if you watch him, you can see that his eyes get pretty glossy throughout the song. The moment meant something to everyone.

There’s also the fact that Clementine asked him to come with her and AJ onto the boat, and to be the one in charge of the bomb... that’s a huge responsibly and he feels the pressure of that. He starts to panic a bit about if he can do it, because what if he fucks up? What if he gets them caught and makes everything worse? What if something happens to Clementine and he can’t do anything about it?

She’s there to reassure him that she believes in him, and that he can do this. They’re going to get everyone back, and he needs to focus... then he asks her to slap him which why would you? that’s dumb, so Clementine smooches him instead and like.... he physically relaxes into her because he’s comfortable and trusts her in this situation.

Also, he loves her and cares about this mission enough to cover himself and his fancy jacket in walker guts.... sure, he complains while doing so but how else is he gonna cope with rubbing rotten guts on himself to blend in with a herd of walkers?

Skipping ahead so that we’re not here all day, I wanna talk about the walk back to the school because it’s one of the most important clouis moments in the game and a huge reason that solidifies why the comic is bullshit.

Louis went off on his own to go out and find them. He didn’t know where they would be, he just knew that he had to go out and find them after making sure everyone was okay back at the school because he couldn’t bare the thought that he had lost them. And the way the AJ gets so excited to see him? and the group hug??

At this point, Louis has grown so much as a character. With Clementine by his side to support him, he’s grown stronger and more reliable. Remember how he never thought about the future? Well, now he is because his relationship with Clementine has given him a reason to long for a future. He talks about building this imaginary house with her, one he knows they can’t physically build... but it’s his way of saying we can build a home together, that he wants a future with her and AJ and everyone else. It’s such a personal conversation that flows so easy between them. Louis is more comfortable talking to her about things from his past, which is something he didn’t want to do back in ep1.

He confides in her how he’s feeling after he shot and killed Dorian, he tells her that having a home means protecting it and I just.... it’s so good, okay? And from Clementine’s side, you can feel how at ease she is with him, too. Just the way she smiles at him as they’re walking? like he’s the cutest thing and she’s so happy to have him with her?

But then we gotta deal with Minerva’s crazy ass on the bridge and well, AJ shoots Tenn and Louis is having flashbacks to Marlon and it’s not great. That’s a whole thing, and he ends up separated from them while escaping.

We don’t get to see Louis’ reaction to Clementine getting bit and losing her leg since I guess that puts a damper on the overly happy ending. But, going off of what we know about him and what I’ve explained [which isn’t even all of it, this isn’t a full Louis character analysis. if it was, it would be much longer and in multiple parts... believe it or not, I’m trying to not make this too long and only sorta failing...] we can get an idea of how he would react.

Um, to say he was upset is an understatement.

Because remember, he had no time to think and climbed over the fence, thinking he could get them to climb over and they could get away, but it didn’t work. He ended up leaving them in order to save himself since walkers were closing in on him.

But you know that he’d blame himself for the bite. A lot of, “if I had just stayed” and “I should’ve climbed back over, I should’ve stayed with you.” I’m sure there were points where it looked like Clem wouldn’t make it and I can’t imagine how much hurt he went through watching her suffer and heal from losing a leg like that.

Not only that, but knowing that AJ was the one to do it? And him thinking about what Clem’s death would do to AJ after all this? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Louis would take care of AJ if she died. He cares about AJ, and he loves Clementine, so he be there for both of them, even if he’s still hurting from Tenn’s death.

However, Clementine didn’t die. She survived the bite and amputation, and when we flashforward, she and Louis are still happily together. Louis is right there next to her at dinner, and he’s the one to help her with her crutches. He’s there to go over future plans to meet the traveling caravan, and Clementine wants him to be the one to go.

Oh, and Louis once again forgives AJ for shooting Tenn, claiming that he understands that AJ saw something that he couldn’t. Like with Marlon, he’s not happy Tenn’s dead but he can see why AJ did it to save his life.

I just..... happy ending. Clementine and Louis are together and she’s truly happy to have found a home for her and AJ with him at Ericson.

....But then the comic thought it would be fun to say “nah.”

The comic isn’t canon, I’m still insulted that it would ever consider itself as such, but even so I can’t help but feel so frustrated about how this would destroy Louis.

He finally found someone he would consider his best friend, not just his girlfriend. She saw past that funny man persona and he trusted her enough to let her past this wall he built around himself. He let himself become vulnerable around her, he named his song after her. Their initials are carved into his piano with a heart surrounding them. He loved her.

Clementine left him feeling loved, something he probably hasn’t truly felt since he was a little boy with his parents before their divorce. She loved him even after hearing his past because she knew that wasn’t him anymore, and she helped him build the confidence he needed to step up. Because of Clementine, Louis wants to enjoy every day while also looking at the future. He isn’t lonely anymore, he has her and AJ. He’s truly happy.

So to tell me that Louis would wake up one morning only to have AJ tell him that Clementine’s gone, she’ been planning an escape without telling anyone because she wasn’t happy...? I’m sorry, but if you think that wouldn’t leave Louis absolutely devastated, then you know nothing about him as a character.

This idea is just.... look, Louis is perceptive. That’s a big part of his character, he’s perceptive of those around him. If Clementine was showing signs of being unhappy or depression, he would see it. He would notice a change. He would be able to tell if something was off, and he would ask her about it. Louis is the type of person to ask you what you need. What can he do to help? What do you need to feel better? And if you don’t know, it’s okay, he’ll help you figure it out in any way possible.

Plus, the comic suggests that there are times where she went off on her own but came back [probably doing her escape prep ugh] and you expect me to believe that Louis wouldn’t notice that or wonder what she’s doing? Wouldn’t sense that something’s going on?

After she’s gone, he’s going to blame himself for not being enough. He couldn’t make her happy and he was a fool to think he ever could. AJ lost the only family he’s known since he was born because Louis couldn’t help her, couldn’t do anything to stop her from leaving.

And for him to realize that she didn’t love him? Clementine, the girl he thought the world of because of how strong and confident and in-charge she was, because she saw him for who he was..... she left him, abandoned him... and she couldn’t even be bothered with a goodbye.... that says that she didn’t care all that much about him in the end.

You KNOW that he would think he had this coming, too. How could the universe allow him to fall in love and be happy with someone who loved him back after what he did to his parents? He would feel so heartbroken that he would see this as some sort of karma for breaking up his parents happy marriage as a kid years before he ever met Clementine and before the apocalypse.

I fucking can’t.... I don’t have the words to fully explain how much I hate this. Louis wouldn’t be okay afterward, and I doubt he’d ever fully recover. I wasn’t joking when I mentioned before that Louis would stop playing piano. How could he sit there and play when I he can see is their initials and remember the night she confessed to him? When he named his song after her? Clementine left and took the music with her because Louis wouldn’t have it in him... something that he used to cope would be ruined and that’s just.... it’s fucking awful.

Not only that, but now he has AJ who I assume is hurting just as much [though the comics inaccurately assume he would just let Clem go sooo... yeah] and he would be the only one Louis would really talk to about it, but then again.... what if AJ doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if AJ starts to act out and things just become terrible and Louis is just too overwhelmed?

I just.... UGH. That’s how I feel. UGH.

Clementine from the comic? Not her. She would never fucking do this to Louis, AJ, or anyone else at Ericson, and you would know that if you played the tfs.

Sigh.... sorry, I just needed to get this all out. I haven’t seen anyone talk about how Clem leaving would affect Louis and I’ve gotten some asks/come across some posts about Louis that have left me incredibly annoyed.... well, I was annoyed before because of the comics, so my annoyances with those things were only heightened. So yeah... I wanted to talk about Louis’ character in hopes of explaining why he would be so hurt if this comic was canon.

Which it’s not. So it’s fine.

How are we all feelin’ at this point, by the way? I know I’m not the only one still annoyed with the comic, so I hope y’all are doin’ okay. Hope you’re stayin’ chill and thinking about your faves to help cope with this mess hahaha

#twdg louis #twdg clementine #twdg clouis #twdg aj #twdg marlon #twdg violet #clouis #twdg #sometimes i just need to talk about louis okay #one day i'll do a full character analysis that goes over everything #but today isn't that day #long post

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flodaya · 3 years

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Hello there, here to give an honest opinion. I disagree with a few of your takes about Lou. Most people who don’t like her in honesty just find her character random and unnecessary. They feel as if she was inserted purely for drama and not story progression. BUT I don’t really think it’s the fault of Lou’s character or the people who aren’t taking to her well, it’s the writing. Yes, there are people who want the mlm Sascha ending but I believe it’s because we were kinda sold that in the beginning. We were eased into Sascha—we were excepting him. Lou was random—seemed to be tossed into the mix as an after thought and it threw everyone off the vibe. I understand what you mean by people hating on a non conventionally attractive gender non conforming person but I think it’s unfair to state that ALL people who aren’t taking to Lou’s character fits that bill. Sure, some people might not like her for that reason, however, I know alot of people who just really adore the main cast of characters and are salty the underused characters (Finn, Yara) lost the war of screen time to new characters. If people genuinely like the idea of Lou and Ismail, great. But what I find concerning is people who are shipping them just because they feel like it’s the “woke” thing to do or that it would be a bad thing to not ship a couple like them. It seems to be with your logic that if you don’t take well to them, people automatically assume you’re body shaming Lou or not finding her attractive, again that’s an unfair assumption. Personally, I don’t think Ismail and Lou have chemistry and the “chemistry” between them that’s being written is clearly forced. I have no issues with Lou’s character anymore. I did find her a bit sus in her introduction because I wasn’t sure wtf purpose she was supposed to serve but she’s fine to me now.

hi, my friend

so i gotta be honest here and say i am not lou's biggest fan either, i am having a very hard time warming up to both new characters, there were a combined 2 moments where i genuinely liked and felt emotional for these two, 1) was when sascha came to the party in episode 1 and did his little dance thing and 2) was lou in the clip on monday drawing and being all cutesy with isi

i don't think people are always malicious when they don't like lou, not in the slightest, and neither am i saying the entire fandom is like this, i know people in this fandom who love lou or who defend lou, so when i say "y'all are horrible" i am clearly only referring to people who are mean and disrespectful and there are a lot of people making very rude and distasteful comments about her, so if you're not one of them, if you don't like her because you just dont then that's totally okay, we can't all like a character, it's an opinion after all

yet i wouldn't say people ship lou and isi for woke points, maybe, just maybe, some people genuinely like those two as a couple? i don't "ship" anyone this season, i just don't want to see constant hate for lou and isi and for people to keep denying that ismail is clearly meant to seem romantically interested in lou, ship whatever you want, but it's so easy to not be a fucking dick about a character

but it is extremely questionable how the perception of lou and sascha is so contrary, on top of that i remember how this fandom treated ava the last two seasons and it's becoming increasingly annoying how fat characters are seen in the fandom as "they are getting too much screen time" while constantly asking for other skinny conventionally attractive characters to get more screen time (eg. everyone saying yara should get more background but then complain when lou gets a backstory)

i definitely agree with you though, the writing is at fault here, they clearly set up sascha as the LI, which is also why i still think he is the endgame, so they've totally set up lou to compete against a white queer boy and we all know this fandom and their obsession with those. though i don't think we can deny that if lou had also been a white boy or if the genders had been reversed the reception and general opinion would be quite different 🤷‍♀️

so, tl;dr i am not lou's biggest fan either, i could have very well done without her or sascha, i'm just here to call out the hypocrisy of big parts of this fandom

#druck seaosn 7 #what an essay #ask #my posts #druck season 7

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brownskinsugarplum76 · 4 years

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Writer's Month 2020

Day 31: There was only one bed

I made it! This is the last story for the month. I'm glad I tried the challenge.

This one is long. It's something I've been playing around with for a while. There's a teeny bit of romantic action between the two dudes. ❤️❤️❤️

I should add that the Iggy anecdotes are things that I've read in bio books, or things he's said in interviews.

Forgot to say earlier: thanks @ledbythreads for the sanity check on this. 😁❤️

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They faced each other on opposite sides of the king-sized bed. They were both naked and hot after what had just transpired with Alice, and as neither of them was especially modest, neither of them thought much about it.

"Did you see how Alice made her way to the bathroom? Could barely walk!" Iggy laughed his unnerving cackle. "I've never seen a groupie look so ecstatic when we walked back here. Like she'd just won the fucking lottery."

"Not so loud, Ig! This isn't the bloody locker room." Robert's admonition came in a harsh whisper. "But I am proud of my work. Always am." Robert swept his damp curls out of his face and a beamed with a big Cheshire grin.

"She should be proud of her work, too… Would've sucked my soul out, if I had one to spare." Iggy rolled his eyes backward and opened his mouth wide in an exaggerated dramatization of his climax moments before. "Thanks for inviting me back here with her. Real nice of you to share."

Robert laughed at Iggy's joking, rubber face, but the hilarity faded when he noticed how genuine Iggy's gratitude was, and how intently he was paying attention to Robert all of a sudden. There was still amusement in Iggy's eyes, but Robert swore he saw flirtation in the pouty set of Iggy's lips. He realized he found it hard to take his eyes off the devilish little dynamo at the other side of the bed. That bastard always knew how to court attention, Robert thought, having read about Stooges shows and hearing wild word-of-mouth stories from groupies he and Iggy had in common. Guerrilla tactics, on and off the stage. A pint-sized, silver-haired man-child with a heart full of napalm.

Alice emerged from the bathroom after washing up and threw on her dress. She crawled between Robert and Iggy to kiss them both before leaving to fetch her best friend Fran from the party in Bonzo's room.

Robert lay on his back with his hands behind his head. If Fran was anything like Alice, a breather was in order before round two.

Robert sighed and glanced at Iggy, who was reclining on his side. "How does it feel to be in the big leagues? Raw Power is one hell of a record, mate." After all of Robert's chattering that night about the success of Houses of the Holy, he instantly regretted how arrogant his comment must've sounded to Iggy, who had been making music for roughly as long as Led Zeppelin had been. "Sorry," Robert interjected. "What I, uh, mean to say, Ig--"

"No, I get it, Percy." Iggy saw how much the nickname irked Robert when Bonzo spoke it and decided to twist the knife in Robert a bit.

Iggy had no poker face to speak of. Robert could see the American's thoughts slowly formulating through the movement of his big, blue cartoon eyes. Barely controlled rage pivoting to wily thoughtfulness with whiplash speed. Iggy seemed very lucid tonight, which surprised Robert, who had heard horror stories about Iggy's junkie tendencies through the grapevine. He was getting a sense that an alert Iggy was the truly dangerous Iggy.

Robert didn't know whether he would be scorched by what Iggy was going to say, or if he would be impressed by Iggy stopping himself from leveling a vicious retort. Iggy was not unlike Maureen, Robert thought--petite and fiery. And cute. Iggy's energy was vaguely familiar. The thought surprised Robert but also made him smile.

"We had to get dropped before we could perform the fucking album more than once, but yeah, we are getting bigger audiences now, thanks to Bowie's aura around the project. But we've always had a tight, rabid group of fans who really get it. The money isn't much, since the label tossed us out on our asses, but there are a few more people in the audience to catch me."

"You're a lunatic, with that stage diving." Robert caught himself breathing a sigh of relief. Iggy was reflective. Not in the mood to spar verbally.

"What? Too afraid to bust up your pretty face, Perce?"

Robert inhaled with irritation. His face flushed. He couldn't pinpoint why Iggy was getting under his skin. He'd been treated worse by the press. Much worse.

"I just don't have it in me," Robert finally said. "Plus, I'm bigger than you, and I think I could hurt someone. Or, I might come back to the stage naked, once all the birds get their hands on me."

"You'd love it. Admit it, man."

"Maybe I would, Iggy… But I'll leave you to it."

In the silent pause, Iggy swept his gaze over Robert's face again. Iggy admired the masculine set of Robert's jawline, at odds with his feline eyes and the curlicued cloud of his hair. Robert was more attractive than The Stooges' cutest roadies, and Iggy adored his roadies. Robert was a finely sculpted man who seduced everyone with very subtle androgyny. Robert's pretty hippie god look was a far cry from Iggy's battle-scarred demon persona of eyeliner and dark lips. Nevertheless, Iggy reveled in all the boys and girls wanting him. He loved blurring the lines of the expected. It was his ace, shoving people off kilter with his performance. If he straddled a man's lap and sang in his face, or kissed an unexpecting girl in the audience, all eyes would be on him. Hate or love his performance, they would be telling all their friends about it. It never failed.

By the way Robert looked at him, Iggy knew that even Robert found him to be an intriguing novelty. He smirked at the larger man, who smiled at Iggy quizzically.

Iggy wondered if Robert knew what he was doing with his look. But Robert was a god to his fans and had nothing to explain or prove to anyone.

Iggy couldn't lie to himself; he wasn't on that level. He was the sideshow for a loud, primitive band that always performed at the brink of chaos. He would be the scrappy little underdog until the day he died. Nothing came easy. He had to do the dirty work to get what he wanted.

Iggy watched Robert's chest rise and fall with his breath and imagined that it felt just as solid as Iggy's own musculature. Robert was a total package, just like Iggy had heard. Beautiful inside as much as outside. Iggy remembered the dreamy look in Sable's eyes when he saw her on the street and mentioned he'd be coming to the Riot House, as they called it. She'd asked Iggy to say hi to Robert for her. She was on to the next thing, only had eyes for Johnny Thunders these days.

Iggy started to wonder if Robert was someone he wanted, if Robert himself might be interested in exploring that kind of connection. Iggy was not turned off by the idea, no matter how much he protested about any hint of interest in men to anyone who'd listen. But he knew he'd have to be the one to make it happen with Robert. And that was always something he wrestled with.

David and Lou had no qualms about men, but Iggy hadn't truly shaken free from Midwestern ethics. It was like the time Iggy lived with Leee. It was two boys who grew up far from the coasts of America who couldn't act on their feelings, even when Iggy's robe was open and his large cock was on display. Leee was into boys, but as much as Iggy tried to entice him, nothing ever came of it. Iggy couldn't bring himself to go for Leee. Neither man ever spoke about it. Iggy had been paralyzed by his thoughts. Lee? Maybe he just wasn't sure if Iggy was sure. Iggy had broken free from society in many ways, but not this one. He sighed in frustration.

Robert noticed that Iggy's mood had shifted again, that he was lost in his thoughts, and not happy thoughts, it seemed. For all of Iggy's maniacal bravado, Robert realized that his fellow front man wasn't a savage to the core. It put Iggy in a new light in Robert's eyes.

Not that it made Robert think Iggy was delicate or weak. The ripples and etchings of wiry muscles on Iggy's body proved how strong he was, as did how he had clawed his way to a new record deal after his band had been left for dead a few years before.

Robert and Iggy weren't friends, having just met that night, but they sat by the balcony in the Hyatt suite and had a nice, long conversation over drinks, joints, and stories of the stage.

Iggy, Robert was pleased to find out, had more layers than the press ever attributed to him. Iggy was as well read as Robert and had even broader music taste than his British counterpart. It was refreshing for Robert to have a lively artistic conversation with someone who wasn't Jimmy.

Something was shifting between Robert and Iggy. Robert kind of hoped that Alice and Fran would be delayed for a while, even though he was unsure of how he wanted to fill that time with Iggy.

"Penny for your thoughts, Ig."

"Oh…" Iggy swallowed and blinked his eyes. He'd been caught. What the hell, he thought.

"Uh, Robert …"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever… Done anything with a guy?"

"Haven't had the pleasure, Iggy. You?"

"Closest I've come, I told this creep he could lick my stomach when he asked to suck my dick. And some boys in San Francisco? They, uh, have a fan club for me. Met with them a few times. Touchy-feely motherfuckers. I don't go to sleep around them."

Iggy seemed somewhat ashamed. Robert could understand. Jonesy was convinced that Robert was too provincial, too old fashioned to accept or even acknowledge the male attention he garnered. Maybe the Midlands and Midwest weren't all that different, Robert mused. Iggy may have had more exposure to men who wanted him, but he seemed just as uncomfortable with that kind of attention.

But Robert guessed Iggy, too, was willing to bend the rules a little tonight. Good company and good drugs would do that to anyone.

Both men were lost in their thoughts. The silence was painful. It had become a game of chicken.

"Aw, fuck this." Iggy broke first. He scooted closer to Robert, rested a hand on the larger man's shoulder, and pressed his lips to Robert's. For a few tense seconds it was like both notoriously sexy men forgot how to kiss. Iggy additionally feared getting tossed from the bed by Robert. But then, everything clicked. It was like the first number of an electrifying concert. Both men knew the rush that came from singing the first few bars of a song, the sweet release of all the nervous energy that built while the band played the intro, and the passion that must be doled out with the first notes to hook the audience's attention for the night. Their kiss was exactly the same.

Robert nestled a hand on Iggy's back. Iggy's tongue was exquisitely adventurous. But not aggressive. It was the exact opposite of Iggy's stage persona: tender and unhurried. It was as good as any groupie Robert had ever encountered. Robert got the feeling that Iggy had a surprising number of facets that most would never see. Robert felt honored to get a true glimpse of the man.

Iggy glided his hand into Robert's curls. The American was enjoying himself. He realized it was no big deal after all. He briefly thought of telling David afterward, to see the surprise and envy on his face. Robert. Fucking. Plant! But Iggy would never tell a soul, out of respect for Robert and this moment. And he knew Robert wouldn't breathe a word of it, either.

Robert caressed Iggy's back, causing the smaller man to purr contentedly. The taste of Robert's tongue was the taste of freedom that he'd always craved.

The door opened, and Alice and Fran barged in. Iggy and Robert continued kissing. They'd surprised themselves by not jerking away from each other.

"Oh, my God, that's so hot!" The men heard a new voice. Fran. "They couldn't even wait for us!"

The two women took the scene as their cue and climbed on the bed, choosing a man to play with, separating the embrace.

Robert winked at Iggy, and Iggy nodded his head in response. It was fun while it lasted.

#robert plant #Iggy pop #classic rock #writersmonth2020

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five-wow · 4 years

Text

10.19!!! watched it, had thoughts about it, wrote them down. the usual under the cut.

there is a random man in steve’s kitchen (is it the helicopter guy? i... don’t know him well enough to be sure but i am genuinely unsure who else it would be) wearing a “seals do it better” apron while he’s cooking and talking to junior about how this recipe helped him “seal the deal” with the love of his life. okay, random man. you’re not acknowledging it, but you just made a seal pun, so you have my attention.

btw, for a good long moment i genuinely thought this guy might be danny in some kind of weird dream sequence future. i mean, old danny in steve’s kitchen wearing a seal-themed apron and making waffles? i wouldn’t hate it.

junior about how it’s going with tani: “it’s amazing.” okay a) YAY and THAT IS VERY CUTE and b) even so, it’s hilarious to me when random guy says “sounds like you’ve got it bad” just based on junior saying that it’s amazing while he kind of smiles vaguely. cute as it was, it wasn’t a passionate love declaration.

junior lies in bed awake at night dreaming of his thing with tani working out (and not sleeping because he’s scared it might not) and i just !! he’s a smitten mess over her and i adore it, even though his level of anxiety sounds like it’s a little detrimental for his sleep, omg.

fjdkfd we get a scene of adam and quinn who went surfing together and OF COURSE they’re standing under the beach showers as they talk because i feel like adam is literally contractually obligated to have a certain number of shower scenes each season.

tani!! gave quinn!! some surfing pointers!! let’s review: we know that tani is really great at surfing and definitely better than junior, because we had a scene once of them getting back from a surfing trip and junior was slightly pouty over it and tani was absolutely unwilling to downplay her own skill and it was Very Good, and now, in these last few episodes, tani was first present during noelani’s surfing lessons and now she’s apparently been giving quinn advice, and the idea of the h50 women hanging out? the idea of tani being supportive and sharing her knowledge? it’s all so good, ahhh. (ALSO. my mighty need for tani and kono to meet grows with each and every mention of tani’s surfing skill.)

oh my gOD i wrote that bit in brackets and hit play on the episode and IMMEDIATELY adam says that he’s used to being second best in the ocean because “my ex wife was a pro surfer, and very competitive.” YES. GOOD. LOVE THE KONO REFERENCE.

quinn gets a dramatic call from an olivia! i read an episode description, so i know that’s her ex-step daughter. i’m a little hesitant about this “btw quinn has an ex-husband” subplot, but also curious to see where they’re going with it, and quinn jumping to help out a teen girl that she still has a strong bond with is an angle of approach that could potentially be very very relevant to my interests.

cows! “moooo” say the cows, quietly, under the music. they’re not important or plot-relevant, i just like cows.

fjdkfd olivia has a Bad Dad and yes, i do want quinn to adopt her now. it could be good! she could swap tips with steve about how to let your adopted teen know they’re loved and safe and worth so much more than what their parents gave them.

tani to junior: “what, you think i didn’t have a life before i met you?” junior’s eyes: [shoot up to steve, standing right behind tani, who is junior’s mentor AND boss, making it slightly awkward to have a relationship talk right in front of him during work hours] POOR BOY (but also, yes, tani, tell him).

junior is now obsessed with the mystery of why tani is so familiar with a random rancher bar an hour away from her house, and to be honest, so am i.

tani wON A LINE DANCING COMPETITION FOUR WEEKS IN A ROW. that is the BEST solution to the mystery, my gosh.

tani: [brags about her line dancing skills and calls herself the queen] junior: “who are you?” fdjkfdjkfd junior, i don’t even know why you’re suprised that a) tani slays at something she did or b) she is utterly unapologetic about that fact.

olivia says that maybe quinn could come watch her play volleybal some time and quinn says that she’d love to but it’s complicated and don’t do that, quinn! my heart hurts now!

OKAY so olivia isn’t doing cheer this year even though she was captain the previous year and she makes up an excuse about it being because of the other girls but it’s actually about HER DAD taking the money that quinn gave her for a UNIFORM which means she probably couldn’t even try out and I HATE THIS. find your ex and kick his ass, quinn.

lou, after talking about macadamia farming: “but here’s where the story gets a littllllle... nutty.” tani, fistpumping: “nice one.” punner solidarity!! good stuff, good stuff. (though i do wonder what happened to danny’s punning streak in later seasons. anyone remember 1.14, when he joked about the head in a box? he’s lost his appreciation for this fine art and it’s a tragedy, honestly.)

quinn has enlisted adam’s help in tracking her ex (jake) down and she’s telling adam a little about how she never thought she’d fall for a guy like him but he was charming, and then she says “and olivia” and THAT’S when she really smiles, and look, PLEASE don’t let this episode end with olivia still living with her dad because will have to write fix-it fic.

quinn: “i haven’t told anybody i was married, not even steve.” that’s cool, but like, do we believe that means steve doesn’t know? if his background checks haven’t gone completely downhill in the last few years, i would assume he’s figured this out, right? (i love quinn’s “in case you haven’t noticed, i’m not really a sharer” that she adds, because it fits with her personality and it’s just nice to have a female character that’s allowed to be a little secretive about her past in a way that doesn’t feel, idk, sensationalized.)

i have seen a lot of gifs of this episode by now and they’re all of steve and danny and the horses so i’ve seen most of their very polite discussion that ensues when danny calls steve out on not asking him if he wants to ride along, but it’s still utterly glorious. grace gets mentioned, too! and the way danny ends it with “why don’t you try to keep up?” as he passes in front of steve, with steve watching him go? that is flirting. blatant flirting in front of all of their poor teammates. (at least now junior can feel a little less awkward about bringing his relationship with him on the job!)

fjdkfdjk lou’s “all this and they still go time to argue, isn’t that nice?” is A+

steve and danny, as they’re super leisurely chasing some criminals through the woods on horseback: yes, this would be a good time to make up an argument about absolutely nothing at all.

oh gosh, okay, danny says “you know i can uh, i can hear you at night” and steve’s response is “why don’t you get some earplugs?” and um. uh. it’s followed by context, i know, but come on, jfc.

“when i moved in a couple months ago” he’s just GOING for it now, omg. not “came to stay with you”, no attempt at hiding that he’s been staying with steve for literal months at this point - just. when i moved in. a couple months ago.

(i am obviously also very aware of what danny is saying about steve not sleeping and how that’s a new thing because it wasn’t like that a few months ago and steve’s evasiness about it and i am VERY WORRIED ABOUT THAT but i’m also electing to somewhat ignore it because. my god. screw that. we don’t want any of where that seems to be headed in this house.)

“i appreciate it. thank you.” this is growth and it’s good and it’s steve realizing that maybe just his quippy putdown isn’t enough of a response to danny’s genuine offer of support! (and again, we’re not thinking about reasons why he might want to think twice about how he treats danny so danny will know he’s appreciated, because there is no reason for steve to be worried about that, because nothing is going to happen.)

steve: “cuff him, danno.” DANNO. danno has returned from war!!

fjdkfd and then steve says it again in like, the next sentence he says. really cramming in those danno’s suddenly.

oh noooooo. quinn tells adam that jake could be a very good dad (which is valid! addiction is a disease and it’s good to know he wasn’t always like this to olivia, even if i don’t think it excuses what’s happening now), but then she says that jake was all the things she always wished her own dad could be and that maybe that’s why she was so drawn to him, and. okay. did not need that. h50 has a tendency to make women compare their love interests to their dads that makes me very uncomfortable. (the other big one that springs to mind is when abby and chin are courting and chin opens a car door for abby and she says something about how she always admired chivalry in her dad and she thought that died out with his generation and it’s this weird thing where she seems to be flirting by going “wink wonk you make me think of my dad” and oh my god. let’s just say it’s very much not my thing.)

steve and danny end up holed up in a cabin while seven people shoot at them and ahhh, just like old times. also just like last episode, to be honest, with the whole cabin filled with poison thing, but at least there’s no poison this time! that’s a plus!

steve’s improv involves LASSO’ING a guy i’m screaming

dude gets the drop on steve, they have an epic fight, steve HITS HIS HEAD and the dude picks up a GIANT LOG to hulksmash on steve’s head, presumably, and then danny swoops in to the rescue and!!! that’s also very much like old times!!! especially with this forest green color scheme and steve lying on the floor a little dazed it really reminds me of that episode with the girlscout troop in season 3.

(so. in this possible universe we’re not talking about where steve might be sick again and could be pacing at night because he knows or fears he’s going to die (you know the one) do you think that maybe part of why his first words to danny are “why’d you leave the cabin? that wasn’t the plan” is that he was kind of... hoping the other guy would get to finish him off? do you ever think about how steve mcgarrett, man of action, would almost definitely rather go out in a blaze of glory after taking out six guys all on his own with danny having his back, than after watching his own body slowly betray him and give out on him after losing a painful and drawn-out fight with itself?)

confused, frowny steve who almost definitely has a concussion and is also still very bloody is oddly cute, gosh. also, nincompoop! definitely one of danny’s most wonderful insults yet.

quinn gets her ex arrested and yells at him and tells him that if he doesn’t clean up his act, he’ll lose custody of his daughter, and then she drives away and she’s sobbing and trying not to and just !!!!! this was definitely the good kind of “quinn has an ex-husband” storyline, but also very painful.

the sunset scene! seen this in gifset too, but hoooo boy, it hits very differently with actual sound. (i may also have described the scene to my sister and mentioned the “probably ‘cause i figured i’d see a million more” and her immediate response was “oooh, he’s dead” and yES, that’s what i was TELLING YOU i’m worried about and also what i’m not thinking about so let’s just pretend i’m not typing these words right now.)

fdjkfdjkfd i’m sure that steve turning to danny just as he says “those are the things that you’re gonna miss the most in the end, you know” after mentioning things you see every day is just. a total coincidence. yeah. he’s totally just turning away from this sunset he was so entranced by a moment ago to look at danny’s face because he wants to stretch his neck. uh huh.

there’s banter about squirrels and it’s good and then steve says “admit it danny, you’re gonna miss this when it’s done” and that sounds very meta, omg, but it gets better when danny says “yeah, maybe, but i would never say it out loud” because that is literally a way to say it, out loud.

a very good episode!! i loved meeting olivia and learning about quinn’s background and there was some prime tani content and to top it off a lot of mcdanno in the second half, and if we just completely ignore that this episode also made my anxiety about the series finale skyrocket (which i knew it would, based on what i’d gathered of other people’s response to it, but that still didn’t accurately prepare me) it was wonderful and i liked it a lot!

#10.19 #h50 spoilers #h50 #I. DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT MIGHT BE AHEAD

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the-walking-memelords · 4 years

Text

Our History

A Co-Written story by me and @journalofthedead

Rated: T

Pairings: Louis/Aasim

Word Count: 5339

An assortment of entries from Aasim's history book since the beginning of the apocalypse.

Read it on Ao3!

Year 1, Mid Summer

Something weird happened today.

We were in math class working on the sheets Mr. McKenna gave us when in the middle of it he told us all we had to go back to our dorms. I looked at Jasper and she just shrugged.

When we walked across the campus it was like every kid in school was out there. I lost Jasper in the crowd, so I just found my way back to my dorm on my own.

It’s been hours and no one is allowed to leave the dormitory buildings, so I went to the common room to see if anyone knew what was happening. A few teachers are practically guarding all the exits and Louis said when he went to ask about dinner they just told him to go back and wait.

People are saying it’s a lockdown drill or the real thing, but this isn’t anything like the drills we’ve had before.

I’m scared.

Year 1, Mid Summer

I woke up really hungry. They never let us eat dinner last night, so hopefully, they’ll make up for it with breakfast.

They’re all gone. All the teachers. I’ve asked everyone I could find and no one has seen anyone. Most of the kids took this as an opportunity to bolt, but thankfully Louis is still here. Jasper stuck around as well, so did the twins, their brother, and Violet, and a bunch of others. There used to be over a hundred kids here, now there’s only about thirty.

We found one teacher, or well, a nurse. Ms. Martin seems to be the only one still here. She said there’s something happening in the cities and the other staff went to check on family since no calls are getting through. She says they’ll come back, but who knows.

Louis, Marlon and I snuck into the headmaster’s office. Lou’s been dialling the phone for hours trying to call his mom but nothing’s going through. Maybe she’ll come to get him. I wonder if she’d take me too, I don’t think my dad would care.

Year 1, Mid Summer

The power went out today and Ms. Martin couldn’t figure out why. Doesn’t surprise me though, she’s a nurse, not a maintenance woman. I suppose all we can do is wait and see if it comes back on.

No one’s come back yet. Not staff. No parents. No one. Everyone is on edge and a few of them want to go out and see what’s happening in the nearby town. Ms. Martin’s going to have one hell of a time keeping everyone here.

Someone came to the gate this afternoon. No one any of us knew, just some random guy. He looked gross all his clothes were covered in mud. Ms. Martin told us all to stay back which was fine by me cause I didn’t want to get anywhere near that guy anyway. He was banging on the gate and the way he spoke… it wasn’t even like words… just animal noises almost.

Jasper… Jasper’s dead. That man killed her.

She kept trying to talk to him… something about him being hurt I think she said.

Ms. Martin tried to stop her but she just wanted to help him… and when she opened the gate he just jumped on her. I didn’t see exactly what happened next. I just… couldn’t watch. I closed my eyes and covered my ears but I could still hear all the screaming. Jasper’s and everyone else’s.

I don’t remember what happened after that. I’m in my room now. Louis is on the other bunk leaning against the wall. He’s quiet for once, which isn’t good. “She didn’t make it.” was all he had to say. I don’t know what to say or if I can even say anything. I’m still shaking so much. My face is wet so I know I’ve been crying.

Maybe if I go to sleep I’ll wake up from this nightmare.

Year 1, Late Summer

I didn’t understand what was going on at first, I thought it was a hoax… Some sick game, but that changed when Erin was bitten, no one knew… We were walking back to the dorms together, Erin was acting so weird. “Are you alright?” I asked her, hoping to get an honest genuine reply. Erin didn’t respond to me, she just went into her room and shut the door quietly behind her.

Later that evening, Ms. Martin asked me to go check on Erin. She didn’t show up for dinner, some were more worried than the others, Erin and I weren’t close but we still talked. I knocked gently on her door, not wanting to upset her even more. Silence filled the hallway before there was a dull thud inside the room.

“Erin?” I called, knocking a bit harder this time. I didn’t know what was going on, at the time I thought she fell. That wasn’t the case of course, without thinking I twisted the knob, surprised that it wasn’t locked.

I took a breath and walked in.

“Erin?” I called again, looking around the darkroom. Where was she? The sounds of growling and snarling made the hairs on the back of my neck raise, I looked to my left and gasped loudly. Erin’s blonde hair was dull, falling out of her bun, her blue-rimmed glasses laid on the ground. The most shocking thing was her eyes, the light green eyes that used to shine with life were now dull and pale, almost white.

She became one of those things we’ve been seeing in the woods. One of those things that killed Jasper. I slammed the door shut before she got to me and I heard her pounding on the other side. I just ran to Ms. Martin.

You have to go for the head… that’s what we’ve figured out… but I didn’t want to be the one to kill her.

We’re all going to sleep in the Admin Building tonight.

Year 1, Early Fall

Ms. Martin died today. She sacrificed herself to save us… I didn’t know how to really feel, a part of me felt guilty, I could’ve done something, but I listened to what she told us, get the others and get out of there. During her funeral all I could think about was the what if’s, Ruby tried to talk some sense into me and pull me out of my funk, all I felt was guilt though.

Year 1, Early Fall

One day later, Louis confronts me in our shared room. “What is it?” I grumbled at him, at the time I didn’t really want to talk to anyone. Louis gave me a look, something about that look he gave me stopped me in my tracks. I oddly felt warm and safe in his presence, it was a bit annoying but I felt at peace at that moment.

“You need to snap out of it,” Louis told me, crossing his arms. I was surprised at his behaviour, Louis was never this serious. I liked this serious side of him and I wasn’t going to admit that to anyone. I left the room today with Louis, the conversation we had while walking outside was one I would always remember.

I think Louis and I became really close friends today, even though Louis can be a bit much at times. I find his company to be nice, something I want to keep around.

Year 1, Mid Winter

It’s so fucking cold!

Yet again it seems like I’m the only one that cares about having enough food for this school! Marlon doesn’t know what he’s doing! He calls himself a good leader? I think he’s full of shit, I mean we should be out there hunting and making traps. Marlon doesn’t get it, this snow will only get heavier and it will get colder.

Louis isn’t helping either, he keeps throwing shit at me and I really want to throat punch him. How is that I’m the sensible one here? Sometimes I wonder why I wasn’t made the leader? Not to toot my own horn, I’m definitely a better leader than the rat and by the rat I mean Marlon.

The food supply is getting low, tracks are getting covered by the snowfall. I can’t help but feel restless, we needed food to survive. Marlon needed to get his ass in gear, open his eyes to see that this plan of his isn’t working and that he needed to do better if we wanted to survive the winter.

Year 1, Mid Winter

We brought back a decent amount of food today from the hunt this afternoon, Marlon actually listened to one of my plans. I was shocked when he listened, I for one didn’t expect him to listen to me at all. My shock only grew even more as I was heading out with Mitch and Brody to go hunt.

It felt good to be listened to for once, the look of pride on Louis’ face that day made me a bit giddy. (Still not telling a soul about that either.)

The look on Omar’s face was priceless, I’ve never seen him so happy to cook something warm. Dinner was amazing tonight, Omar is a god when it came down to cooking. It made me wonder though, why was Omar sent to this school again? Whatever, that's a story for another day, well maybe. Who knows? Maybe Omar will tell us? Maybe not.

Year 2, Early Spring

I guess the one good thing about the entire forest being turned into a giant mud pit is that the animals are easier to track. I have to give Louis credit for his snares since they do a pretty good job catching rabbits. If only he’d kill them himself instead of making me do it though, I hate it as much as he does but we’ve gotta eat after all.

One of the many bad things about the entire forest being turned into a giant mud pit is that it’s slippery as shit and Louis would rather laugh at me than help me up.

Year 2, Mid Summer

A big thunderstorm stopped us from hunting today. I should be disappointed, but I’m not. I feel so calm, the sounds of the beating rain against the windows made me smile. Before I was sent here, I would sneak outside and just watch the rain.

My parents thought I was weird for doing this. I didn’t care what they thought of me, it wasn’t like they paid much attention to me anyway. I have this hate for them, I know I’m probably acting like a child but I don’t care.

They left me here. I hope karma bites them in the ass.

Year 2, Late Summer

The nightmares came back. They were worse this time around, it’s gotten to the point that I am afraid to fall asleep at night. I knew Louis was worried about me I could see it on his dumb face, though it felt nice to have someone worry about you.

“I miss cartoons,” Louis told me when I woke up in a hurry. That threw me off, normally I would give a snarky come back to his banter. This time I actually let him ramble on, it was comforting to hear him just… Talk.

I hope that one day I could have his enthusiasm.

Okay, that’s a lie. I honestly do not think I could handle being that enthusiastic about everything. It makes me wonder though, how does Louis hold this much energy?

Year 3, Mid Summer

Louis made a weapon today. Oddly enough it’s a chair leg, named Chairles. Louis has quite the imagination when it comes to anything and everything, I like that about Louis, despite that it’s pretty weird to name your weapon, but who am I to judge?

'Chairles' is a chair leg, out of all weapons he could make. Louis chooses a chair leg. Though I have to admit, Chairles suits him, Louis seems comfortable with the weapon and I'm not lying when I say Louis has a good swing.

I’ll stick with my bow, I’ve gotten better with my aim.

Year 4, Mid Summer

It’s been a while since my last entry, a long while. I’ve been thinking about my sisters lately. I miss them. Every little thing reminds me of them, I haven’t been sleeping much because of this. When I close my eyes, I see them. The dreams happen quickly, but I remember every painful detail about my vivid dreams.

First I was sitting under a tree with them, the big oak tree that was in the middle of the park by our house. We were laughing about some stupid joke, then the scene changed to something bloody. My sisters smiling faces turned to horror and pain, all that blood, it was like I was frozen. I couldn’t help them, I just stood there, watching as walkers tore them apart. I tried to help them, but it was too late.

I’m so tired. Afraid to sleep. I don’t want to have the same nightmare again.

Why can’t I just have some peaceful sleep?

Year 4, Mid Summer

It’s been five days since I’ve gotten any sleep. Everything around me is hazy and muffled. Ruby says I need to rest, but I have to work. I can’t sit out for a day and I really don’t need Marlon on my ass again.

Breakfast is almost ready.

The smell is making my stomach churn. My headache is getting worse too.

What’s going on…

Year 4, Late Summer

Louis has been stern with my sleeping schedule. It can get aggravating at times, but who am I to complain? I haven’t been taking care of myself so Louis stepped in to smack some sense into me. Though I am thankful. I lost myself, all because of those damn nightmares.

"You need to keep your head up high."

Louis tells me every morning, I thought I would find it annoying by now. Though I didn't, his words were comforting and I used them, every day.

Louis will never know.

I don't need to be teased relentlessly, again.

Year 5, Late Summer

The traps have been getting emptier and emptier over the last couple weeks. I don’t know if the rabbits are getting smarter or the walkers are eating them before we get the chance.

I caught myself staring at the firepit last night. It’s not good. I don’t want to fall back onto old habits. Sometimes if I can’t sleep I find myself fiddling with my matchbook. I’ve been able to stop myself from lighting one, but it’s getting really tempting lately. Matches are too important to just throw away.

Maybe I could ask Louis to just hold onto them for me. I don’t want him to worry though. The school’s old psychologist said I’d been “Cured” and wanted to send me home. I don’t want Lou to think I’m turning back into some crazy pyromaniac on the verge of burning down the school.

I just need to get a hold of myself.

Year 5, Late Summer

I broke. I lit one of the matches.

I watched the small flame flicker down the wooden stick until it burnt the tips of my fingers. I dropped it on the floor and stomped on it but now there’s a small black scorch mark by the side of my bunk.

I hope no one notices it.

Year 5, Early Fall

I fucked up.

I fucked up so fucking bad.

I’m not sure what came over me, to be honest, I don't entirely remember what happened. I think I just had too many bad days lately. This is all my fault, preaching how we need to work as a group and then isolating myself like this and now…

Tennessee might not make it.

I’m locked in my room right now because the twins have a hard time looking at me without attacking me. Totally justifiable, I’m just as disgusted and angry with me as they are.

It was dark out, and I remember it was cold. I couldn’t sleep so I went walking around the school. I was in the art room. Dust covered easels and dried up paint all over the place. It was so cold, unusual for so early, the leaves had barely changed colour. I either couldn’t or just didn’t think

I lit a fire.

Small, paper scraps and paintbrushes in an old clay bowl on the table. I couldn’t stop looking at it. I began to stick things into the flames and just fuck around.

I didn’t even know Tenn was in there. Maybe he couldn’t sleep and went hunting for art supplies or something I don’t know.

“Aasim?” His sudden voice scared the hell out of me and I dropped a flaming ruler on the ground. The thing nearly set my pants on fire on the way down but I jumped away.

Watching the debris on the floor quickly catch is where things begin to get hazy again. I got out fine. My throat is scratchy from the smoke but that's nothing compared to the poor kid. I didn’t get a good look at him but I could smell it. Burns all on the side of his head. Ruby and the twins are with him right now, but she isn't a doctor.

I wonder if they’ll kick me out if he dies, or kick me out anyways. I’ll go if that's what they want. Louis hasn’t come by our room yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if he hates me too.

Year 6, Early Fall

Hunting has been stressful lately. Louis has been sick for the past week, leaving me hunting with Marlon. Oh, the joy.

Not.

I can't stress enough how annoying Marlon is, not only that he is an egotistical asshole. There isn't a time where I don't want to punch Marlon in the throat.

Why is the leader? He has no leadership skills or qualities. Marlon is going to get himself killed one day and it wouldn't surprise me one bit.

Marlon is an idiot. How could Louis be friends with that?

Seriously. Marlon can fuck off. Twat.

Year 6, Mid Fall

Hunting has been better. I had Louis back with me, I could actually smile again without having thoughts of killing a boy that looked like a road kill rat.

I never really thought that I would miss hunting with Louis this much. But I did. That damn smile…

What am I saying?

Anyway.

Hunting has been better, we managed to snag a buck and a few rabbits. It should last us for a while.

That's all I hope for. Among other things.

As long as I don't have to hunt with fucking Marlon again.

Year 7, Early Fall

Minerva and Sophie died today. They went scouting past the Safe Zone with Marlon and Brody and were killed by walkers. Violet and Tennessee went back to their dorms and won't talk to anyone, but you can hear the crying echoing off the walls. I tried talking to Louis but he's acting distant. He won't even talk to Marlon. I don't blame him, he and Minerva were close.

I just hope he knows I'm here for him.

Year 7, Mid Summer

I found Louis in the music room today, hardly a surprise since he practically lives at that piano bench. He was playing, but it wasn't really a song. It sounded like he was just randomly pressing keys. Broken melody fragments. Reminded me of what he sounded like when he was first learning. He didn't look at me when I walked in, so I figured I'd just find the book I was looking for and give him some space.

He called my name just as I passed him, and started playing an actual song. It was a nursery rhyme. Literally just "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," He asked me to guess the name and of course, I got it right, so he played another. Eventually moved on to some classical pieces and a few I remembered hearing on the radio as a kid. I guessed… most of the names right.

It's a game we've played often. He plays and I guess. I've gotten better over the years, he tends to play a few of his favourites over so I've memorized a lot of them.

It's nice to hear him play for me again. The school is mostly moving on from what happened to the twins, and it's nice to see this dork smile again.

Year 8, Late Summer

I don't know who's the bigger idiot, Louis, or me. We're out alone in the middle of the woods trying to find some dinner and he just blurts out: "So, 'Sim. You got a crush on anyone?"

What kind of fucking question is that? And of course, because I'm a dumbass, I panicked and said "Ruby"

I'm not going to live this down, am I?

It's not like I could have said it was him, right?

Year 8, Early Fall

Marlon brought two newcomers to the school today. A girl our age and a little boy. She's capable, at least. The new girl helped the hunting party come back. I fucked up and almost got myself killed but she saved my life.

Louis has been hovering over her since she woke up. Just flirting, non-stop. She's definitely going to end up stabbing him.

Also, the kid is really nosey and the girl is an enabler.

Year 8, Early Fall

Marlon sent the new people -Clementine and AJ- with Louis and me to hunt this morning. I went ahead by myself the first chance I got, I couldn't stand listening to him try to woo her. Even out of earshot it was all I could think of. I was so distracted I only bagged one rabbit.

Goddammit, Louis.

Louis took the new people to the fishing shack to see if Violet and Brody had any luck catching anything, but only Brody came back. She said someone broke into the shack and stole a bunch of our stuff. She was freaking out but Marlon wouldn't have any of it. I wish he wouldn't brush these things off.

The sunset and the others aren't back yet. I volunteered to go looking for them but Marlon wouldn't let me. Brody said they stayed behind to find more food, but it's been so long. I'm worried. I decided to write this now to distract myself, but I can hardly sit still. I hope Louis is alright. I'm starting to feel sick.

Everyone came back alright, and with a shit ton of food. They went outside the Safe Zone to a walker-infested train station to steal it. It was stupid, but it paid off I guess. Louis kept telling me he was fine but I still felt frustrated. It's too quiet when he isn't around.

Year 8, Early Fall

Marlon and Brody died last night. It turns out Minnie and Sophie's deaths weren't an accident, Marlon gave them away to some group so that he could live, and killed Brody when she couldn't stay quiet anymore. He lied to us saying Clementine killed her, but Louis got between them.

Marlon dropped the gun, but AJ snuck up behind him and shot him.

I helped Louis dig the grave. It wasn't easy, we had to use bowls to dig and the rain was pouring. He was shaking so much he could barely make a dent in the ground. I left the rest of the work to the others, taking Lou inside to dry off. It's been almost an hour since Clementine and AJ were kicked out, they should’ve stayed, Clementine was smart and knew how to survive in this hellish world.

“Louis,” I said to him, sitting down next to him on one of the beds in our room. Louis was too quiet, I didn’t like it… It was so unlike him. I wanted him to smile again.

Louis did something I wasn't expecting tonight. Louis slowly looked up at me before wrapping his arms around my waist tightly, laying us both back on the bed. I was surprised… Though I felt warm and safe, it's been a small secret of mine but I longed to be held by Louis.

THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THIS ENTRY!

I never expected to see Louis break down, I didn't mind that he squeezed me tight while he cried. I just wanted him better.

Year 8, Early Fall

Clementine and AJ came back.

AJ wasn't looking so good, Clementine told us that he was shot. I felt bad for the kid. Though as of right now, my main concern is what we have to prepare for. I'm not telling anyone this, but I'm afraid.

What if we all end up dying? All this stress is making an old urge of mine come back. I'm scared, everyone is even Louis.

What if I lose him?

I can't lose him… I just can't.

Maybe I should talk to him? Tell him how I feel? I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe it’s for the best that I keep my feelings for him a secret? This fight for our lives is more important than anything else at the moment, we need to be prepared and focused on what’s going to come. Louis did mention that he needs some help with his aim, I guess I could show him the ropes.

Year 8, Early Fall

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Louis kissed me! We kissed! Yeah, it was a dare, but I didn’t expect him to go through with the dare. It felt so surreal during the card game, I for one thought I was going to end up having the lowest. Turns out that it was Louis that had the lowest, Louis picked dare, of course, he never backs down from a dare.

He was given a choice: Kiss me or kiss a walker's head. He chose to kiss me. When Louis leaned over and kissed me, it felt so surreal, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. When I kissed back, it felt so real, so nice…

I sound like a lovesick teenager...

He cupped my face, gave me that smile of his and closed his eyes and leaned in. When our lips met, I closed my eyes and slowly returned it, resting my hands on his shoulders. I don’t even know if the kiss meant anything to Louis, it probably didn’t… Part of me wishes it did.

Maybe I’m overthinking this. I mean, Louis has feelings for Clementine. At least I think so.

Year 8, Early Fall

I’m so sorry, Aasim.

Fuck. I could’ve done something! I let you be taken…

I feel like a fucking failure. I shouldn’t even be writing in your journal right now, but here I am. Sorry in advance Aasim, when we save you and the others, you can totally rip my entries out.

Year 8, Early Fall

I’m sorry ‘Sim. I went down into the basement where we’re keeping that creepy one-armed guy and well, he was sort-of awake. I looked at him and I felt so angry. I wanted to hurt him. Hurt him like he hurt us, hurt you, but I couldn’t do it. He and his people are the reason it’s me writing in this book right now and not you.

I hope it’s not me writing the final entries.

Anyways, I keep rereading the things you’ve written about me over the years. It makes me feel giddy and guilty at the same time. I just want you to know that if you and I both live through this raider bullshit,

The next time I kiss you won’t be the result of a dare.

Year 8, Early Fall

Abel talked enough before he puked out his internal organs. (Remind me never to fuck with Clementine) We know where you are, and we have a plan.

I’m coming for you, Aasim, just hang on a little longer.

Year 8, Early Fall

We did it.

Holy fuck.

We’re back.

All of those raiders are dead. I… I killed one of them. I’ve never killed someone before. It feels strange and gross. Like bile, or a scream that doesn’t know if it should or not. I think of that woman’s face as I shot that arrow through her mouth and I just… I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I feel bad, I think. I think of her, and then I think of you.

You probably think you’re still on the boat right now. You were out when we found you, covered in blood and the smell of burnt flesh was everywhere. I kept calling your name but you didn’t wake up the whole way back.

You gotta hang on, Aasim. I can’t lose you too.

Minnie’s dead. Tenn’s dead. Mitch is dead. Clementine is dying and maybe so are you and I don’t know what to do anymore so I’m sitting here with your book wondering if I’ll have to decide whether or not to bury you with it while Ruby tries to treat the burns on your back and patch up Clementine’s missing leg and hope neither of you turn.

Year 8, Mid Fall

So, I’m back.

I just read all of Louis’ entries. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about this book the last couple weeks, I didn’t even notice it was gone. Louis must have had it this whole time. He’s been by my side ever since the boat, but today when I woke up he was gone and this was on the dresser.

Everything hurts. Both my back from that explosion and my head from trying to figure out what I’m going to do now.

I can't help it, but I feel a bit giddy that he feels the same. Yet I am afraid.

Afraid that I could lose him to anything out there.

Maybe I should rest some more before talking to him.

Year 8, Mid Fall.

That's it.

I'm talking to him.

I need to.

I have to.

I'm driving myself crazy just sitting here and thinking about it.

Now to find him.

Year 8, Mid Fall.

We are dating now.

I was so nervous when I found Louis, he was playing the piano. I stood by the door and watched him play for the longest time, thinking over the ways to approach him, though it was like I couldn’t move. I was in some type of trance that was keeping me there and not letting me free. Then he stopped playing, he smiled once and looked over at me. His eyes filled with some sort of relief and he stood up, quickly making his way over to me.

I threw myself into his arms almost instantly, not even waiting for him to stop walking. I didn’t care that the fast movements hurt my burnt up back, I just wanted to be in his arms.

“Woah. Be careful.” Louis chuckled. I really missed the sound of his laugh. I missed everything.

“Shut up. I missed you.” I told him, but I frowned when Louis gently moved me back, looking me in the eyes.

“You read my entries, didn’t you?” His question was soft and serious, like he was afraid or something.

I just smiled at him and slowly nodded, leaning into his touch when he cupped my cheek. We didn’t say a word as we stared at each other, it was like we knew what each other was thinking but didn’t make a move to initiate anything.

“Well, Romeo? Gonna kiss me or not?” I whispered to him, breaking the sweet silence between us. Louis only chuckled and brought our lips together into a sweet, yet slow kiss.

It was better than the last kiss, and he asked me out right after.

I sound a sap.

But I don’t really care.

#my writing #lousim #twdg louis #twdg aasim #the walking dead game #the final season

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jordm · 5 years

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Heartland 13x03 - Rearview mirror review

Previously on Heartland... Lou told Mitch she loved him & oh yeah almost forgot about that whole saga of events.

Lyndy is also talking and giving high fives and it’s real adorable.

AND we get a “wife” aka Cassandra mention not once but twice! Once when mentioning her doing acupuncture and second when Caleb mentions getting the wife’s approval. If only we saw her (RIP Amy's friends)... but one can dream.

AND a Scott mention (so clearly Ty is still somewhat working with Scott, or at-least using his equipment) so clearly his business is still thriving. Did Ty go back and work with Scott since his own personal side business went downhill?

JACK

IT’S LITTLE JACK (played by actual little Shaun aka Shaun’s son)!

Anyways, Jack is acting off. He’s yelling at Luke when he accidentally stumbles across his sister, June’s suitcase of things and doesn’t let Georgie help bringing in the hay-bales, even though she helped last year. Through flashbacks, we see what could possibly be the route of it; memories of June and himself from when they were teenagers (even if no one else except him or the audience realize it).

My guess is that Georgie reminds him of June, with the way she wants to help out around the farm and everything, and with Luke unearthing his memories, with Georgie reminding him of June, he doesn’t want her to do anything that brings up good - or bad memories.

Like for example, June saying her dad let her ride (knowing how her riding the horses turns out) and then his hesitantcy to let Georgie ride the cart during the hay bale even though it clearly makes the most sense

or when Georgie loses control for a second, and then gets things back on track, Jack refuses to let her take the reigns again due to what happened to June way back when, when she lost control, accidentally rode over a rock and ended up being dragged by the cart (and DIES; this is why they created the quick release thing right? Like if you get thrown off a jet ski it auto clips off). He doesn’t want Georgie to be rocked off and end up the same even if it’s a totally different situation.

But guys, this is how June dies.. DIES. Which is heartbreaking because not only was Jack not there, but she was only driving because he wasn’t there. Jack said the reason that he pretends she didn’t exist, is because its his fault she died, but it wasn’t. I do think that this is some form of survivors’ guilt and back then, perhaps it wasn’t ‘normal’ to talk about his feelings with his family, so he never got a real chance to grieve.

Did his family blame him since him going away caused her to be in this situation, when really it was one mis-placed rock’s fault? Or perhaps the other team members should have been close together to help her OR even better, someone should have been on the bugey with her like Jack was with Georgie (I know it was just sticks but STILL) just incase something happened? Or maybe this was more than a two person job?!?! POINT IS, it wasn’t his fault, even though he blames himself and I believe this story arc is going towards Jack finally finding closure... or some semblance of it because time doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll ever be 100% over a traumatic event.

KATIE

Guys, I’m totally on Katie’s side. It’s totally unfair that Katie has to share her room with Lyndy, while the foster kid gets the attic to himself. This is why this current arrangement to me, didn’t make much sense, and honestly, still doesn’t. Because either way they put it, let’s face it, they are one room short no matter how they put it.

Not to mention that she came home from Europe to find the entire family dynamic different, with Georgie in the loft, Tim in his trailer and Amy/Ty back in the main house. Lou may have said alright to the new arrangement but did anyone ask Katie about what she wants?! Anyone can see why she’s a little pissy at the new arrangements especially since Jack could easily move into Fairfield.

Luke: “Can you ride?”

Katie: “I’ve grown up on a Ranch, so plenty.”

I mean, it’s true; have we ever seen Katie ride? She’s may have grown up on a ranch but lately (as in the last 2 seasons) she’s been in Vancouver, Europe, a friends, grandma/grandpa... how much time has she really spend at the ranch?

Anyways, I think that Katie has been away so much that when she came back to find that Luke was here semi-permanently, the rooms have changed... and now Luke can ride better than she can - she just feels out of place. Maybe taking horse riding lessons with Georgie again will help her find her place in the family again.

RINGO (with Jade/Caleb/Amy/Ty... it’s an all hands on deck type)

So, apparently Amy hasn’t been working with horses for the past while due to the online troll aka Kirk constantly posing negative reviews, so when Jade asks her to look after her new horse Ringo, Amy is thrilled. Add to the fact that, apparently Jamie Wilcox sold Jade a horse with a broken vertebrae (and was beat while in auction?) and has a history of doing this with other horses.

SIDE NOTE: How much time does Kirk have on his hands like damn man, get a grip. At what point will he ask himself, “Am I taking this too far?”. We still haven’t seen the Maggie confrontation, so clearly this storyline will be going on a bit more.

Ty wisely says no to Caleb’s suggestion to lie that there was no Bute in his system to get Wilcox to admit that there actually was. But oh wait - luckily he has another horse up for sale that has been acting up and Caleb has a plan!

Amy: “Just don’t do anything stupid?”

Ty: “Me, Caleb? Never!”

They never got into mischief... never ;) and I miss their mischievous adventures, especially when they work out and give justice to the bad guys.

So Caleb’s plan is to “pretend” to be interested in buying in the new horse, while Ty secretly gets a blood sample. This works, and as long as Jamie doesn’t drug his horses anymore and gives Jade her money back, they won’t tell anyone. And since Jade and Amy (this pairing!) won the buckle, everyone wins!

I actually genuinely enjoyed this storyline; seeing Caleb and Ty / Amy and Jade working together again was a nice change of pace, reminding me that there are other people in the universe besides the immediate family. Jade giving Amy a glowing review to counter the bad ones probably helps a ton too, especially since she can say “she helped the Ringo and me win a buckle”.

LOU AND MITCH

Lou is baaack and is hiding her relationship with Mitch from Katie (much to Amy’s amusement), to the point where he is creeping in and out of her bedroom through the window. Like, are we in high school again? Why doesn’t she just go to his place? Doesn’t Katie love Mitch?

Anyways, Lou isn’t fooling anyone with these early nights... okay except maybe Jack because he gets his gun when he hears someone “breaking in” and it’s Mitch just crawling into Lou’s window.

This storyline was basically “kids aren’t as stupid as you think” because Katie knew all along and I still hate that Mitch is being defined by his relationship with Lou but what can ya do? But the result was that Mitch asked Lou to move in with her. MOVE IN. Y’all how long have they been dating for? I can’t help but think that this is such a bad idea, esp given their history, even if it would solve the bedroom problem and would let Katie have her own bedroom (either at the new place or at the ranch).

SONGS IN THIS EPISODE

Dreamer - Jen Grant

#heartland #review #rearview mirror

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petersshirts · 6 years

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Stressed Out | tom holland

summary: you’ve been learning all week and your boyfriend thinks that it’s time for you to take a break

warnings: a lot of fluff! this got really cheesy but i’m a sucker for fluff sorry not sorry

words: 1,8 k

A/N: this little one shot is based on my own life cause i just started uni and it’s stressing me out.. so here i am, neglecting the stuff i need to do and writing this, because everyone needs a tom in his life to calm them down, am i right? This goes out to all of you who struggle with school or uni or something else, don’t worry! you will get through this x

You groaned and threw the pen on your desk, pulling your hair out of frustration. You stared at the screen of your laptop in front of you, wondering how you should be able to write all this stuff down and then learn it. Everything was just too much.

It had only been two weeks till the beginning of the new year of uni and the lectures had started all over again. And since that, you sat in front of your computer and were writing everything down you had learned in the daily lectures. And it was a lot.

Your friends had told you that the second year of Uni would be a bit calmer but with you studying Biology which was a subject full of thousand new words and explanations, it was pure stress. And you were not known for handling stress very well.

Whenever you had a lot to do, you shut down your phone and only concentrated on your work, shutting out all your worried friends that just came by to check if you were okay. You didn’t go out at all and your only rewards were two episodes of Friends in the evening. You just couldn’t let yourself down.

You knew that you were overreacting, but it was too late now to backtrack out of this learning mania. You were already in the subject, diving deep and learning new stuff while not seeing any sunlight. You also had a cold but you were just way too busy to get out of your dorm and get some medications.

To be honest, it bothered you that you were shutting down your surroundings and your friends, but you didn’t know a way out. The only way out was the end of the semester and with that, your exams and that was still more than four months away. But you knew that there was someone else who was quite bothered that you were not coming out of your shell.

„Hey babe,“ your head shot up when you heard the familiar voice coming from behind you. But you being completely lost in your work didn’t even turn around to give the person at least a smile.

„Hi“ you just mumbled and picked up the pen again, starting to write the next paragraph. Suddenly, there were hands wrapped around your waist and you flinched, not expecting that kind of touch. „Hey boo,“ his voice was needy but you just whined, trying to get away from him.

„Tom, I need to finish these pages,“ you mumbled and focused back onto the laptop screen to get your whining boyfriend out of your mind. But suddenly, a hand behind you shut the laptop and you sat there, staring at the wall, trying to process what just happened.

„Hey!“ you grumbled and tried to open the laptop up again, but your boyfriend left his hand on there so you couldn’t do it. With the other hand, he grabbed your chair and turned you around so you had to look into his eyes. You had to admit that he looked really really good. You had been so focused on your work lately that you had pushed Tom in the back of your mind. But now that he was right in front of you, his eyes staring into yours, you had to admit that you had really missed him.

„You’ve done enough work today, boo,“ Tom mumbled and pressed a kiss on your forehead. In one swift movement, he grabbed your arms and pushed you out of the stair, right into his arms. You giggled when he hugged you close. You buried your head in your neck and breathed in his familiar smell, feeling like home. Even though your head was still swirling from your biology notes.

„But I’m not finished with that presentation, T,“ you whined again but Tom just shook his head and waddled with you through your small dorm room, filling the room with laughter.

„I heard that you’ve been spending not enough time with your boyfriend lately so I think that he’s more important than those biology notes. And I also know that you will ace these exams, just like last year. And you could still enjoy life with me while you’re at it.“ Toms' face was pressed into your neck while he peppered light kisses on your skin, making you feel all giddy inside. You giggled again and a genuine happiness spread through you and you pushed your assignments in the back of your mind because of your attention-seeking boyfriend.

The two of you were now standing in front of the bed and were facing each other with small smiles on your faces.

„So what do you wanna do, Holland?“ A little smirk formed on Toms' face and he grabbed your coat from the bed and handed it to you. „Come on, there’s this new ice cream shop I wanna show you. And after that, we will watch movies all night and cuddle.“ You grinned at his words, feeling so lucky that Tom was yours. He was always looking out for you and had the same sense of doing something ‚fun‘. You were both relaxed people and you loved just laying in each other’s arms all night and talking about everything that came to your mind. And ice cream was the best starter for this kind of night.

You slipped into your coat and the both of you walked to the ice cream parlour that was only 10 minutes to walk from your dorm room. On the way there, Tom told you about his day or more his week, because you haven’t really seen him for a few days. He told you about the prank he had pulled on his best friend Harrison and how Tom was pretty scared of how he would get back to him. You laughed at his jokes and felt so comfortable and finally like you were yourself again.

You ordered your ice cream and it tasted delicious. Tom just had a sense for finding good sweets. While you were happily licking your ice cream, your boyfriend walked up to you from behind and snuggled close to you, pulling you to his chest. You giggled when he pressed a light kiss on your neck, feeling so happy that he was right by your side.

„How’s the ice cream?“ He mumbled into your ear and your smile grew even wider. „Really good babe. Thanks for bringing me here.“ Now it was Toms’ turn to grin. He was so glad that you were finally here, outside with him and not in that room completely lost in your own thoughts all over again.

Tom loved that you were so passionate about biology because that was what you wanted to do. But he hated that you got completely lost in it sometimes and started to forget everything around you, including him. Tom was not needy but for him, you got him through every bad day. Whenever he was feeling down, you were there to pick him up.

Whether it was just a funny story you told him or photos from a puppy, you always made him smile. He appreciated you so much but it was hard for him to express his love for you. So that’s why he tried to get you out of your headspace and back to the real world, back to him.

You stayed like that for twenty minutes till both of you had finished the delicious dessert. On the way home, Tom decided to take a little detour before you headed back to the dorms. Tom led you to a small park you had never been in before; when you walked home from Uni, your head was always way too full of important tasks you had to do to appreciate the beauty of the flowers and trees in the park.

The sun was already setting while Tom and you walked through the calm space, hand in hand. You felt so happy and completely at peace with your love by your side. You looked up to Tom, who also had a smile on his face while looking forward. The last few rays of sunshine were reflecting on his face and he was so so beautiful. How did you even get such a great man?

„Darling, you’re staring.“ You were brought out of your thoughts at Toms words and a little chuckle. But you just grinned at him and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. „Hm, am I?“ Tom nudged his nose with yours and stared at you, not believing that he had found you. Damn, he was lucky.

„Yes, you are.“ He just stated, not able to form any words.

„I just think that you’re very beautiful. And that I’m so lucky to have you thank you for making my days so much brighter and getting me out of this learning hellhole. I get stuck from time to time.“

Toms' eyes moved to your lips and you just grinned, knowing what he wanted. You slowly moved forwards and kissed him softly, closing your eyes in pure bliss. Tom immediately responded to the kiss but whined when you backtracked. You giggled at him and stroked his cheek slowly.

„I love you,“ you mumbled, still feeling weird about saying those words.

You had been together for six months and it had been only a few times that you said the three words. But you meant them. Every single time.

Tom grinned at you and kissed you again, showing with his actions that he was feeling the same. You stayed like this for a long time, holding each other so close that you were not sure anymore where he ended and you started.

The sun had slowly disappeared and it was getting chilly. You were slightly trembling so Tom backed away and grabbed your hand.

„Come on, let’s get you home.“ You just nodded and you walked back to your dorm in a comfortable silence. A smile was still resting on your face and you were sure that it would stay there for the rest of the day.

With Tom, everything was well. Everything was calm; your brain and your heart. With Tom, it was like falling and feeling completely safe, cause he was there to watch over you.

Permanent Taglist and some mutuals:

@smexylemony // @ive-got-more-wit // @lou-la-lou // @loxbbg // @seanna313 // @underoos-shield // @hollandfieldblurbs // @supernatural-strangerthings-1980 // @ixchel-9275 // @thejourneyneverendsx // @sideeffectsofyou // @teenwolfbitches2 // @mywinterwolf

@peterpumpkinparker // @underoos-shield // @onedustyboi // @twilightparker // @h-osterfield // @revengingbarnes // @holland-peters // @spideyshere // @fratboievans // @rainbow-marvel // @thelazypangolin // @itsholyholland

#TOM #tom holland #tom stanley holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #spider-man #Spider-Man: Homecoming #peter parker #petersshirts #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #Avengers #Avengers infinity war #marvel #MCU

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ais-n · 6 years

Note

In Evenfall vol II, what exactly did Shane do to Boyd or what exactly happened to Boyd when he was on the fourth? I’m assuming he was there for quite a while being punished but was it just mental torture or more or...? I need AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the details Ais!

Sadly, I no longer have the bulletpointed lists we probably had back then which specified exactly how long Boyd was there. All the timelines and notes I have still don’t go enough into detail for me to know for sure exactly how long it was.

What I do know is that Monterrey lasted through November, and then the invasion happened in July. That’s about 6 or 7 months, depending on how late into November/early into July they were. From what I recall, I think it was something like 2 or so months Boyd was there? I think? There’s a possibility the timeline was a bit different, but I remember him being there several weeks, and then was home for months. Although there’s a chance it was 1-3 months, it was probably around 2 or 2.5 months before they let him go. Snow was still on the ground when he was out, so that limits the timeline a bit.

At any rate, this is based on my memories of what was planned back then - so it may be a bit off, but generally speaking this should be right.

As for what happened, I’m not sure that I ever figured out every single thing they did, so you can leave some of it to your twisted imagination lol But mostly they super fucked with his head. Shane, and his whole profession, did what was most effective for each person. At that time, psychological torture was most effective on Boyd.

For Boyd at that time in his life, torturing him the worst possible way for him as a human being was a pretty “simple” affair – all you had to do was strap him down so he couldn’t move, and tell him over and over that everyone he loved or cared about died because of him. It was his fault, all his fault. His actions led to this. If he hadn’t been in their lives, they would be okay now. If only he hadn’t been born. If only he hadn’t ever met them. How could he do that to them? Didn’t he know yet that he was a mistake? Didn’t he know that his touch was corrosive? Didn’t he know that the very act of loving someone damned them to hell? How selfish could he be, to force himself into the lives of others only to kill them?

What a terrible person. What a monster.

More below the cut because I rambled :) Read (or skip) to the end if you are interested in this topic ;) ;) trust me.

It already showed a little in the book but they drugged him (I didn’t think about it before but I’m just realizing, that was the beginning of Boyd being drugged and terrible things happening to him after… that probably was the very beginning of him later having such an aversion to drugs that he would freak out and attack people if they came at him with a needle or something else).

Then they tied him down. For Boyd, that alone was just about the absolute worst thing you could do to him. That already was torture in and of itself. Especially to then not drug him again, so he had to fully experience that helplessness and vulnerability. On its own, that already led him straight into panicking, and brought back flashbacks of what had led to his phobia in the first place. He already would have gone a little insane if that was all they did, and even if they did that for a week.

But they knew what would hurt him the most, so they used that against him. They knew he was already suicidal, they knew he had a tendency to take on the responsibility of things around him and blame himself for the misfortune of others. They also knew he hated feeling helpless. And they knew he made emotional decisions sometimes that were the wrong decisions, and sometimes they had bad consequences. They also knew he genuinely cared about Hsin by this point, because his actions and words had made it clear. And they knew Boyd and Hsin had had a physical relationship. And they knew Boyd had loved Lou.

So they tied it all together. As it shows in the book, they turned every surface of the ceiling and walls he could see into images and movies. They showed him Lou’s dead body in the autopsy, cut open with his organs pulled out, showed him his perforated organs sitting bleeding on the metal pans. Showed him the autopsy report that gave extreme detail on how much damage was done to his body before death. How much blood he lost. All that.

They also showed him Lou’s death video over and over, which Boyd hadn’t seen. So that was absolutely awful for him. And he couldn’t get away from it - even if he closed his eyes, he could hear it all around him. On top of that, being held down made it about a hundred times worse, because Lou’s death was the beginning of what led to that phobia in the first place.

They also showed him Hsin’s “death” photos over and over. They read to him in excruciating detail everything that had happened to Hsin. If they had access to any videos they could show Boyd of Hsin that would be emotionally gutwrenching - maybe something showing Hsin being okay, then cutting to video of him wounded or in pain, especially if they could twist that into saying it was Boyd’s fault because Boyd was his partner by then - then they probably did that too.

I wouldn’t put it past them to have also found a way to stimulate parts of him in a manner to imitate their wounds and death. Like, find a way to poke at his stomach when describing a stab wound there, or the like. If they did that, it would’ve been later into it when he started to get dulled to things, and they needed a way to keep him present and not checked out. You think you get to ignore what they went through?, they’d probably say - how selfish; they felt this pain because of you.

Through it all, Shane spoke calmly, saying all the worst things Boyd had ever thought in the deepest part of him. All the most shameful pieces. Every single justification or argument Boyd tried to come out with, Shane shot down calmly and easily, until Boyd had nothing left to defend himself. Until he believed wholeheartedly he was the sole reason Lou and Hsin had suffered. That he killed them by being near them, and caring about them. That his love was inherently a weapon which would bleed others dry, until they were nothing but corpses around him. But he, oh he, of course he would stay alive, because he was a monster who did nothing other than consume others for his own means.

They probably also varied the time he was alone vs not. They would’ve probably left the lights and videos and pictures on for days on end at times, other times made it go dark; volleyed between silence and black and videos until he had no idea what time of day it was, how long he had been there, when they would come back. They definitely would have left him alone in the dark with nothing to occupy his mind for long periods at a time because they knew that would seriously fuck with him.

And of course, they told him no one would hear him scream. He was abandoned, once again, the way he always should have been.

There’s a possibility the pulled his dad into everything - I’m not sure. If they needed to get into his head even deeper, they might have, but I think they didn’t take that step yet that early in his time at the Agency.

But honestly, at that time, their primary directive was to break him down psychologically until he didn’t have the will to fight anyone or anything, and to irrevocably tie Lou and Hsin’s deaths together in his mind. And to make him believe fully and completely that they died because of him. That it was completely his fault, completely because of his choices and by his design, and that if he ever, ever dared to get close to anyone else again, this would happen again. He would leave a trail of bodies behind him his entire life for the simple act of caring about someone. And so because of that, the worst thing he could do in the world is let anyone near him.

Such a shame, they would have told him, that everyone else had to suffer so horrifically when he was the one who deserved it most of all.

They probably implied to him that he would be stuck there for the rest of his life. When he was eventually let free, they probably gave him no warning, and he was probably super fucked up for a long time right afterward, and constantly terrified he was still there and just dreaming, or that they really did let him go but they’d be coming back for him.

They watched him afterward, so he always felt eyes on him, which increased his paranoia. Honestly, I can’t remember why he didn’t kill himself there. He definitely would have wanted to. More than ever, he felt he would be doing the world the greatest service he could by removing himself completely. But he didn’t, and I can’t remember if they told him he wasn’t allowed for some reason (if they did, that was further manipulation, control, and torture of him - so that he would continually torture himself mentally every day by staying alive and repeating the things in his head over and over that they told him) - or if he chose not to, himself. If it was his choice, then he would’ve stayed alive because that was the only way he knew how to continue punishing himself for killing them.

Living made him want to die, so living was the only thing he was allowed to do. After all, if they died because of him and they wanted to stay alive, then the greatest vengeance he could give their spirits was making himself live every day with the choice of having murdered them by loving them.

He should have known it would end that way when he met them, he told himself, echoing the words Shane had told him. He should have known he would kill them eventually. There could be no other ending being around him. Therefore, it was premeditated murder of a truly ruthless and horrific scale, to have dared to stay around them for months and years, knowing full well he would be their death, and not even being honorable enough to tell them so they would have a chance to leave.

He was even worse than his mother, in that regard. No wonder she didn’t want to claim him as her son. He was a pestilence. Who could ever truly want a virus as their family? His father was lucky he died before he had to see the stain his child had become.

Then again, could they expect anything different from the Janus unit’s whore? He had already proven long ago he had no morality, no shame. It was clear he had only ever cared about himself in his life. Of course this would be no different. He would always push others down in order to get higher, himself.

Those were the sort of things he said to him, to make him see over and over how everything was his fault - and to not let him escape for a moment the knowledge of what Lou and Hsin had gone through. Their goal was to break him down completely, and they achieved it with those tactics.

BONUS SURPRISE!

AND NOW - if you actually made it this far, you get a bonus surprise! In the process of writing this, I got all the way to the end of this post and then decided to check (again) to see if I could locate any sort of final timeline to verify any of this. This time, I thought to search by Shane’s name - and I rediscovered something I had completely forgotten about.

This must have been before the DC version - back when we did the original version maybe? Or maybe the second edit?? Either way, I have a document that I imported to gdocs in late 2015, but I’m guessing was written before then?, which apparently was a story set after Shane and before Hsin.

I reread it just now to see if it was still accurate - it probably mostly is, I don’t know. Some things changed, like the way the actual video of Lou’s death was done (so the excerpt Boyd sees there is no longer totally true but just replace that in your mind with the video in DC) and Lou having the ring as a memento instead of the driver’s license being the important detail. Things like that.

I don’t remember but I don’t think I ever released this story? Not sure. Maybe I did somewhere… I had started to worry that Boyd having hallucinations so strongly might seem weird to people, but to me it felt really realistic for him to have them. I also had always believed he had them the first time he was tied down, on his bed at home after his suicide attempts. I knew they would make a reappearance here, too. But I doubted myself on it because I didn’t know the psychology behind anything, I just knew what felt right for Boyd. Interestingly, just now I saw a really recent article talking about how common psychosis or other symptoms are for PTSD, and that the reasons for PTSD that are most likely to result in stronger symptoms are exactly the reasons for why Boyd had PTSD in the first place. So it turns out it probably was pretty accurate all along, even before I knew the science. Here’s the article, if you’re curious: https://www.verywellmind.com/relationship-between-ptsd-and-psychotic-symptoms-2797525

Anyway, that’s not the bonus surprise. The bonus surprise is I figure - what the hell, may as well give you that old ass story I wrote. Like I said, it may not be 100% accurate anymore, but it still will give you an idea of the vibe, at least. Sorry for typos, by the way. I wrote that in one sitting, iirc.

Actually, you get double bonus surprise! Because I found two versions of the story - they start out the same, but are otherwise very different with only a few scenes the same between the two. I probably couldn’t decide which I liked more (especially since I didn’t even finish one of them) and then I forgot about them and never posted it anywhere.

So here you go - your reward for getting through all that is two new-old stories that are super angsty because they’re dealing with Boyd right after and during his first bout of torture at the hands of the Agency.

btw I don’t actually remember which one I wrote first - I just named one of them v1 because that’s the one that’s actually finished, so you can read that first, and then if you want read v2 and be less frustrated when it just suddenly ends (I hope). I’m not sure that either of these are totally accurate to what happened, but hey, they give an idea of the vibe at least.

I can only share them on gdocs, sorry! But you can download as pdf if you want. Oh, also, I think these were originally written in 2008 or 2012 or something, I’m not sure since I didn’t write the date on them.

Enough stalling, jeez! Here are the links:

VERSION 1 - Boyd interim between 38 and 39, Evenfall

VERSION 2 - Boyd interim between 38 and 39, Evenfall

Have fun with those fucked up, angsty stories XD

#ask ais #icos #in the company of shadows #Anonymous #boyd beaulieu #shane #extras

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princesskeda · 6 years

Text

Heart of the Oni 8-10

After the supposed deaths of their friends and family, Nya, Lloyd, Pixal, and Misako cope with the aftermath of Harumi’s rein and try to move on with the help of some old friends. But not everyone grieves the same way. Meanwhile in the First Realm, the ninja are trying to survive and find a way home. Post S8, this started out as a speculative fiction about S9 but its so much more.

CHAPTERS 8-10

The place they had chosen for the funeral was off the coast of the endless sea. Something about watching all the waves crash in the starlight calmed Nya. She heard someone walking behind her and turned, thinking it was P.I.X.A.L with more decorations.

It was Lloyd. Seeing her turn caused him to freeze, like a deer caught in headlights. Seeing him had caught her off guard as well. Ever since that night they had been tiptoeing around each other. The truth was that Nya was happy that he was ok. Seeing him on Mistake’s table, back when there was that chance that he wouldn’t pull through seemed like a nightmare. She cared about Lloyd a lot—they had known each other since he was just a kid, before he had ever been the green ninja.

But she was also angry.

Ever since her talk with Ronin, she had been trying not to be. And the truth was that she wasn’t mad at Lloyd. So maybe the feeling she was looking for wasn’t anger, but hurt.

Why had he gone to face his father alone? Why had he locked them in that room? Didn’t he trust them? Hadn’t he needed them?

And now, everyone was gone…

It’s not his fault. Nya reminded herself once again. There really was no use at pinning blame on any of them. The true culprit was Harumi. If it was anyone’s fault, it was hers—everything that had happened was because of her own twisted need for revenge.

Nya had been staring at him for a long time, and Lloyd couldn’t read her face. He was glad she didn’t seem so angry anymore…but he couldn’t help feeling like that didn’t mean he was forgiven. Not that he blamed her. He hadn’t forgiven himself either.

“So…how did the invites go?” He asked, trying to make conversation. He winced at how awkward it came out. Once upon a time, they could talk freely.

“Oh. It was fine.” He noticed a flash in her eyes, as if she was remembering something that had made her angry. But it was gone as soon as it came, leaving him to wonder if he had imagined it. She turned her attention back to him. “How are you feeling?”

“Um, better. Yeah, a lot better.” It was true…at least on a physical level. His father had left him in bad shape, but every day he felt his body get stronger with less aches.

“And your powers…?”

“No.”

Those still hadn’t returned. Lloyd wasn’t sure what role his powers had played in everything that went down, but even as his body got better his powers remained absent. It was such a strange feeling to be without them.

“I’m sorry.”

She really did look sorry too. Maybe she didn’t totally hate him after all. He hoped there was still some kind of chance for their friendship. He really couldn’t bear losing anybody else.

“Well…I better go help P.I.X.A.L with those decorations.” She continued, giving him one last smile. He watched her go over to REX to help their robot friend pull strings of flowers, lanterns, and candles out. It wouldn’t be a long service, or one that could really give their friends the recognition they deserved. But P.I.X.A.L wanted to be sure that it was as good as possible. She had missed Zane’s first funeral, but this time she wanted to be there with everyone else.

“P.I.X.A.L, you did a great job with all these decorations” Nya said, helping her friend hang flower strings on tree branches.

“Thank you, Nya. There’s just something…human about decorating a place for an event.” Her voice sounded so sad.

Nya felt a little guilty, realizing how much P.I.X.A.L had been hurting these last few days. Knowing her, she probably hadn’t talked to anyone about how she was feeling; P.I.X hated feeling like any kind of burden. Before she could think better of it, Nya pulled P.I.X.A.L into a hug.

“What is this for?” P.I.X.A.L asked in surprise. She couldn’t recall any other time in her data base when Nya had hugged her.

“Because…I know you’re hurting P.I.X. I mean, we are all hurting. You shouldn’t have to keep all yours inside just because I’ve been on such a warpath.”

P.I.X.A.L didn’t answer right away.

“I just wanted to be helpful…”

“Oh Pix. You’ve always been helpful. I can’t think of a single time when you haven’t been helpful.” They placed Lanterns around the area on the beach where they would have the service. “But I want to help you too. Just because someone else wants to help you doesn’t mean that you have become unhelpful…it just means that they want to be helpful…too…um…does that make sense?” Nya never could explain things in the way she wanted. She also felt especially incoherent next to her logical friend, who always spoke in a perfectly clear way.

“I understand what you mean, Nya.” P.I.X.A.L said, smiling at her. “And I appreciate it.”

Misako approached the two girls, who had finished setting up.

“Not a moment too soon, you two. It looks like the first people are starting to arrive.” They turned to see Dareth swaggering down the beach, dressed in his brown ninja costume. Skylor wasn’t far behind him. Nya realized she hadn’t seen their red-headed friend in a long time. She found herself wondering how Ronin managed to invite her without anyone catching on.

“Who else are we waiting for?” Lloyd asked, looking down the beach to catch sight of anyone else.

“The Walkers.” Nya answered.

P.I.X.A.L looked confused.

“But what about…”

“Just the Walkers.”

By the time Lou reached home the moon was shining and he was exhausted. He dug through his pockets for his keys, trying to steel himself for the hours to come in his quiet house. Perhaps he would write another song.

He pushed the door open and flicked on the light.

“Hello Lou.”

Lou looked up in alarm. There, on his couch, a young woman was relaxing as if she owned the place. Her hair was long and pale, and under it a jagged red scar. His blood ran cold.

“Sorry to barge in. You weren’t at home, see. But I hate to see you stuck on that doorstep…come on in.” She sounded so polite, so royal…but also deadly. Very deadly.

Lou heard something behind him and turned to glowing red eyes. The unknown assailant had a knife to his back. He slowly walked into his house.

“I’m afraid we have a bit of a problem Lou. One of your neighbors reported a ninja sighting in the area. And apparently, she was looking for you.”

Lou still didn’t say anything, never looking away from the red-scarred witch. He knew who she was…and what she had done.

Harumi motioned for him to come take a seat next to her. He clenched his jaw and, cane in hand, slowly made his way over to her. He refused to sit.

“Oh yes, her good neighbor Lou…a performer of the highest quality, was being targeted by a Ninja girl,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Of course, at first I thought it was silly. What on earth would the Ninja want with a performer? Maybe they just needed someone to sing them their lullabies…I know a good lullaby or two myself, you know. Anyway, I sent Mr. E to have a look. And what do you know? He found this.”

She tossed a picture onto the table in front of them. Her voice gained a threatening tone. “How do you explain this picture, Lou?”

But he was no longer looking at her; in fact, he could no longer hear her at all. The picture was of the four ninja, with Cole holding aloft the fang blade they had just earned. He had been so proud that day…so proud…

The one called Mr. E knocked him to the ground and out of his reverie. His cane clattered across the floor.

“Are you even listening Lou? What connection do you have with the Ninja, and where are the survivors?” Harumi’s voice had lost its sweetness.

“I think I know…” a sinister sing song voice came from the back of the house. A woman with strange purple skin and a high black ponytail walked into the room and over to Harumi.

“Oh-ho-ho, did you start playing without me?” She asked, sneering down at Lou. Harumi took a small picture from her hand. As the former Quiet One looked down at it, understanding lit up in her face.

“Oh, of course. I should have seen the family resemblance. You have the same eyebrows…” She crouched down in front of Lou, who had propped up on one arm to continue his silent glare. “…And the same stoic expression.” She started to laugh cruelly.

“I never would have guessed Cole came from performing stock, not with that awful voice of his.” Harumi taunted. “Honestly, we did everyone a favor by silencing him…”

Lou’s attack almost reached her, but Harumi was faster. In a single motion she grabbed his arm and threw him across the room. He hit his trophy table hard, knocking winner’s cups and medals to the ground. His eyes closed in pain.

“That explains why Nya came looking for you, Lou. Don’t try to pretend like she didn’t find you…ninja always finish the job. Well…almost always.” Harumi was done mocking him; she wanted answers. “What was it she wanted to talk to you about? Where are the survivors?”

She approached Lou slowly, menacingly.

“I could have Ultra Violet convince you to talk….but I must warn you. She doesn’t play so nice.” The purple villain’s insane laughter punctuated the threat. Lou kept his eyes closed. In his mind, he started to play a song. After a few moments his mind started to slowly drift away…

“What’s this?”

His eyes snapped open. Harumi’s voice was genuinely curious now as she stared at something on the floor in between her and Lou. It was a small square card. In desperation Lou tried to reach it but, once again, Harumi was quicker.

“Well, well, well, an invite. I wonder what it’s for? Such a pity we weren’t invited…I do love a good gathering.”

“No…” The one rasped word was the first Lou had spoken all evening. Ultra Violet kicked him to be silent.

“So he was holding out on us after all… should we teach him what happens when you lie to the Empress?” she asked. Harumi looked down at Lou with victorious contempt.

“Poor Lou...staying quiet all this time to protect the remaining ninja, only to let this invite slip. I’m afraid that means you’ve failed…” her voice trailed off. She had been walking towards the door, as if to leave, but she paused at the table to pick up the small discarded picture. She studied it with amusement.

“But I supposed you’re used to that. Tell me…how does it feel to fail as a father? But I can understand why you’ve been off performing, rather than mourning.”

She caressed the picture and laughed. “He was so pathetic…so mediocre.” She made eye contact with Lou. “I wouldn’t mourn him either.” She tossed the picture to the side and it landed with the sound of breaking glass. Her laughter echoed in Lou’s mind long after the three had left him alone in silence.

Lou panted painfully. He tried to stand but found that with his new back injury and no cane, he couldn’t quite make it. He half crawled, half scooted across the floor until he came to the picture that Harumi had thrown. Out of the shattered glass, he pulled the picture from its frame.

It was just a picture of Cole, taken right before he had gone off to the Marty Openheimer’s school for performing arts. He had refused to smile, but Lou had been so excited that day that he had taken this picture anyways. As Lou stared at it, the feelings he had been trying so hard to avoid washed over him.

“Oh…son…”

The sun was high overhead by the time Cole and Kai were headed back to the campsite.

“Oh man…” Cole said suddenly, causing Kai to turn.

“What is it?”

“I just realized that we left Jay and Wu basically alone together for the last hour… I just hope that Jay is behaving himself.”

Kai laughed. “They aren’t totally alone…I mean, they have a nindroid babysitter at least. And if anything, maybe you should be worrying about Jay in that situation…”

They shared a laugh. A group of dragons flew overhead, and the two friends sobered and cautiously watched until they had passed.

“Isn’t it weird that we used to be good friends with dragons…but now… I guess it’s just hard to know if these are good dragons or not.” Cole said as the dragons became specks on the horizon.

“Yeah…” Kai said, thinking. Then he looked over like he had just had an epiphany.

“Wait, that’s it!”

“What’s it?”

“How we get home! Dragons can fly into different realms, right? So all we have to do…”

“…Is befriend a dragon and convince it to take us back! Kai, you’re a genius!” Cole said, finishing Kai’s thought. Kai smirked. He didn’t get called a genius very often and he decided that he could get used to it.

They had reached their destination, but the campsite seemed deserted. A few discarded breakfast skewers were the only signs of their friends.

“Wait…where’d everybody go?” Cole asked, looking around. He felt panic rise. They wouldn’t have left…right? That meant that something happened to them…

“Huh, that’s really weird…I can’t think of where they would have gone…” Kai said, equally baffled. Cole was searching the campsite for clues in a near frenzy.

“What could have happened? It doesn’t look like any battle went down…but we can’t be sure…”

Suddenly he heard a familiar sound. It was Jay…complaining about something. He sighed in relief and turned to find the source. He caught sight of them in the distance.

There’s Jay and Zane, he thought as he and Kai ran towards them. But where’s…

They stopped dead in their tracks.

“Is that…Wu?” Kai asked as they caught sight of the figure behind their friends.

“I can’t believe it…he got older again! You know, now he kinda looks like Lloyd…back when we first met him…right?” Cole added, shocked by his sensei’s sudden transformation. Their friends had almost reached them now and they could hear Jay’s conversation more clearly.

“…so all I’m saying is that I know that you were doing it all consciously because toddler body or not, you…”

“You’re back!” Zane called out, catching sight of his friends. Jay looked over.

“Of course, the second we leave is when they decide to show up…” he muttered. He felt a worm of worry now that Cole was actually…well…here.

“Guys! We were wondering where you had disappeared to…” Kai said as they joined up.

“Looks like we’re one step closer to getting our old Wu back,” Cole said, rubbing Wu’s head. Wu smiled back at him.

“Yes…I suppose we are.” he replied. He looked to be about 9 or 10 now, and would have sounded more like his old Wu self if it hadn’t been for his high-pitched, pre-voice change speech.

While his friends all talked and joked together, Jay hung back from the group a bit. He noticed Zane giving him a meaningful look. He sighed and stepped forward.

“Hey…uh, Cole?” His friend turned to face him, looking a bit uncomfortable himself.

“Yeah Jay?”

“I uh…um. I’m sorry. About before. I…I shouldn’t have said that…”

Cole looked shocked.

“Wow…really?!”

Jay instantly became annoyed.

“YEAH really! Are you doubting the sincerity of my apology?”

“Yeah…I mean, no…of course not…it’s just…” Cole held up his hands in defense. It wasn’t that he doubted the seriousness of Jay’s apology, it was just that it was the first time he could ever remember Jay actually apologizing. He hadn’t expected it…but he supposed it would be better not to point that out.

“I’m sorry too Jay…I was kinda hard on you… and I shouldn’t have run off like that.” The two stood awkwardly for a few moments more.

“So……..we good?” Jay asked. Cole laughed and smacked his back.

“Yeah, motormouth. We’re good.”

“We’re more than good.” Kai cut in, eager to share his great idea with the group. “I figured out how we’re going to get out of here!”

After he finished explaining Zane cut in.

“I had already processed that course of action, but that scenario runs into several problems…”

“Aw man, of course you did.” Kai muttered, suddenly deflated. He decided it was hard to feel like a genius when there was a nindroid in the group who had already thought of any good idea you could possibly have.

“To get home, it is not dragons that we will rely on.” Wu piped up. Such old-Wu words sounded so strange coming from the body and voice of a kid. The four ninja looked at him expectantly.

“Ok…so what are we looking for?” Cole asked.

“It’s not a what, it’s a who.”

“Yep. There he is. There’s the old fortune cookie man we all know and love.” Jay said, face palming. Wu ignored him.

“The person we have to find is the Dragon Master.”

It was a calm night, and the waves lapped peacefully on the beach. Lloyd looked at those who had gathered to mourn together. For once the threatening darkness from the city in the distance was blocked…held at bay by the tranquility of this moment. It wasn’t a happy moment—far from it—but it was so calm and sincere that he felt some of the turmoil inside of him ebb.

P.I.X.A.L was passing out tea candles to everyone. It was silent, but rather than feeling heavy the silence wrapped around them all like a blanket. Lloyd took his candle and smiled a bit at P.I.X. She gave a smile back and moved to the next person. Lloyd turned his attention to his candle. Soon they would light them all in memory of his fallen friends… he frowned as he felt the all too familiar pangs of guilt and grief worm their way into his tranquil state. Long after this candle had been lit and had died out he would have these feelings of guilt and regret hanging over him. Part of him wanted to shake loose from the dreadful emotions, but deep down he couldn’t help but think that he deserved to feel this way. He didn’t deserve to have peace and closure in this moment…or any moment. His eyes closed in pain.

He heard the sound of soft sobbing and looked up to see Ed comforting his wife.

These are parents forced to mourn the loss of their son...I did that!

Suddenly he didn’t feel like he could go through with this service anymore. He felt like he was choking, and looked around at everyone gathered. Surely they knew whose fault this loss was. Surely they blamed him as much as he blamed himself. He wanted to bolt.

P.I.X.A.L’s voice broke through his panicked thoughts.

“Tonight we honor heroes fallen in protection of Ninjago and their friends. We will light these candles now in their remembrance…and lanterns in the years to come. They will not be forgotten. We will not forget.”

At the end of her simple statement, she lit her candle. The others did the same.

Nya looked down at her candle, tears silently coursing down her face. P.I.X.A.L walked up next to her and met her eyes. After some unspoken conversation, the two of them approached the gently lapping water on the beach. Together they placed their candles in the waves and Nya used her powers to send them lightly out into the sea. Nya felt an arm on her shoulder and turned to see Skylor, who smiled sadly at her before placing her own candle in the water.

Down from them Ed and Edna knelt to add theirs. Edna continued to softly sob and Ed held her close, eyes misty, as they watched Nya’s little waves carry their candles away. It was clear that Jay’s loss was still a fresh wound for them.

Dareth set his candle down and gave it a salute as it headed out.

“Adios, my fellow ninjas.” he drawled sadly. His salute began wavering and soon he had to drop it so that he could have both arms to wipe across his eyes in an effort to stop the tears leaking out.

Ronin felt a little awkward about the whole thing. Unsure of what else to do, he removed his hat and set his candle free. He watched, hat in hand, as it joined the other little lights twinkling off in the distance.

Lloyd hung back. He still hadn’t lit his candle and his eyes were squeezed shut, fighting back tears. Misako approached and put her hand on his arm, causing him to look up with teary eyes.

“I can’t.” his voice broke.

“You don’t have to do it alone,” his mother said with a sad smile. Together they approached the water.

“Shall we call in backup, boss?” Ultra Violet looked at Harumi, awaiting orders, but Harumi continued to look at the address on the little card. Without looking up, she waved her hand at her wild companion.

“If you must. But we aren’t going to be waiting for the backup. We’re headed there now. They can catch up.”

“I was hoping you would say that!” Violet laughed. Nearby, Mr. E cracked his neck to signify that he, too, was ready for some action.

Harumi’s car was large, black, and expensive. Mr. E took the wheel and Harumi stared out at the moon, pensive.

She had worked and waited for so long…for years…hiding behind masks, planning each step with precision and patience. She tightened her fist. So much patience. That time a few days ago when they had taken control…she had long dreamed of that moment. No, she had LIVED for that moment. There were times when the pieces didn’t click right into place…times when those meddling ninja had almost beaten her. There was a point when she had honestly thought she had lost.

But the power of revenge had proven stronger.

She thought of that moment, where she had held Lloyd over the edge of that tram and forced him to watch as he finally lost everything. Her brow furrowed in anger. That moment was supposed to one that she looked back on in victory. It was supposed to be the sweetest climax of her perfected revenge.

But it hadn’t been. She had won…she had accomplished everything she had ever planned. But Lloyd hadn’t been destroyed.

How…how could he not be? She had toyed with his heart, making as many painful blows as she could. She had caused his own father had beat him within an inch of his life. He had lost his closest friends while being literally powerless to save them. She had lauded over his pain, sure that Lloyd Garamadon had been shattered into something that could never be restored. She was so close to that feeling of satisfaction knowing that even someone as good and pure as the virtuous “Green Ninja” would turn bitter and empty and hateful if faced with enough loss.

But he hadn’t.

Fury coursed through her as she remembered that night. It was supposed to be the night where she gained everything she had ever wanted…but instead it was the night where Lloyd had escaped. Her plans had worked and she had been victorious in every possible way but one. But that was the victory she had wanted the most.

She finally smiled as they drove out of the city and towards the sea. Tonight she would have a second chance at victory.

“What do you mean you don’t know where he is?!”

Jay’s friends made eye contact as the blue ninja freaked out at now-child-sized Wu, who had informed them that despite knowing that they needed to find the Dragon Master didn’t have any clue on where he would actually be found.

“You must remember I’ve never actually been here before and next to nothing is known about this realm.” Wu said, a little heatedly. It seemed that child-Wu had less patience than old Wu, despite still having all his memories and wisdom.

“Well, that’s just great. So we really aren’t any better off than we were before, now ARE WE?!” Jay was almost reaching hysteria point. The fact that not even Wu knew anything about this place…he was beginning to get the feeling that they were doomed. And doomed meant never getting home. And never getting home meant never seeing Nya again! And Jay had worked too hard and for too long to have everything in that relationship fall apart now! He wanted to grab Wu and shake some wisdom right out of him…and maybe he would have if Kai didn’t put a hand on his shoulder.

“Maybe not, but panicking really isn’t going to do much to help the situation, Jay.” he said. Jay huffed a breath but did calm down a bit.

“Master, do you have any ideas on where we should go to begin our search?” Zane asked. Now that Wu was more…coherent, it only seemed right to call him by the respectful name. Even if he was still in a small child body. Zane tried to calculate how long it would be before they really had their old Wu back…but he was finding no patterns or algorithms that could predict the aging rate of their master. He sighed a little; like everything else in this situation, they were just going to have to find out one step at a time.

“Well…considering he is the Dragon master, it appears we ought to find some dragons. If we can find where the dragons are migrating to, I’m sure we’ll find that he is not far off.” Wu said thoughtfully.

Jay opened his mouth to say something snarky, but Cole gave him a look that cut him off.

“Sounds like a plan to me, or at least more of a plan than we’ve had so far.” Cole said. “So our first step is tracking down one of the locals.”

“Can’t be too hard; they’ve been flying overhead often enough the whole time we’ve been here,” Kai added.

“But based on the flight patterns I’ve witnessed, there doesn’t seem to be a certain direction that the dragons are going; I am not sure it would be wise to just follow a dragon as there is no guarantee it would lead us to the right place.” Zane said. “However, if we would like to follow that plan, I can try to sort through my data to determine the most likely time a dragon would be passing by…”

“Uh…I don’t think that will be necessary…” Jay interrupted, eyes in the sky.

“Why not?” Zane asked, as the group turned to face Jay. He urgently pointed upwards.

“Because there’s one HEADING THIS WAY!”

Before anyone could have much time to react, a deep maroon dragon dove from the skies and snatched Zane in one claw before rising back into the air.

“NO! ZANE!” Cole shouted, jumping on the dragon’s other leg at the last second.

“Oh, this is JUST GREAT!” Jay yelled, annoyed. He fired lightening at the beast only to have Kai stop him.

“Quit it! You might hit Cole or Zane!” he snapped. Jay glared back.

“Well what do you suggest??”

“We’re losing them!” Wu interrupted, running after the dragon. He looked down in distain. His stubby legs were useless.

Meanwhile in the sky, Cole had defaulted to bargaining--as he often did in these situations. He yelled up to the dragon, still clinging to its leg.

“Look, Mr. Dragon…I mean, if you’re a Mister….uh…anyways, I don’t suppose you would be willing to put me and my friend down? We’re actually friends to dragons…don’t know if you know my friend Rocky but he could vouch for us. And while you’re at it…do you happen to know anything about the dragon master?...”

“I don’t think the Dragon can understand you, Cole.” Zane called unhelpfully from the Dragon’s clutches.

“Ah, well, would you like to try, Zane?”

“I would use my elemental powers, but it’s crushing my arms down…I can’t seem to…”

WHIZZZ

“What was…” Cole started, looking for the source of the mysterious sound. He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, however, because the dragon was suddenly plummeting from the sky.

Jay, Kai, and Wu watched in horror from the ground, still a half a mile or so away.

“Is it…falling?!” Jay asked. “What the heck did Cole do?!!”

Cole and Zane yelled as the dragon hurtled towards the earth.

“WHAT’S HAPPENING?!!”

“THE WINGS!” Zane responded. Cole looked up and noticed that the Dragon’s wings were caught up in some kind of net.

“Oh GREAT.” He said, mainly to himself, and made his way up the dragon’s leg towards the wings. He considered himself a skilled climber, but climbing on something that was spinning out of control and hurtling towards earth was difficult even for a pro. By some miracle or another, he reached one of the wings. Engaging his earth arms, he grabbed the bottom of the net and began snapping the ropes binding the dragon. The ground was uncomfortably close when the combined efforts of Cole and the straining dragon finally broke the binds of the net.

A few things happened all at once.

The Dragon’s wings snapped open, sending Cole flying through the air. Opening its wings had nearly halting the dragon’s crash to the earth…but not quite. As the dragon crashed to the ground, the impact threw Zane from its claws.

Kai, Jay, and Wu picked up their speed.

“Hurry it up!” Jay called back to his lagging sensei. It was strange…he never would have dared talk to Wu like this when he was old…but at the moment the little ankle-biter was getting on his nerves.

“It’s these legs…I may need some assistance.” He looked at Jay pointedly.

“Oh…no. I am not carrying you…”

Zane picked himself up off the ground. He looked at the dragon, which seemed dazed as it shook itself loose of dirt. He began backing away slowly, still not sure what the creature’s initial offense toward him was. The dragon didn’t seem to notice him as it took to the skies once more.

“Oh, great…there goes our chance with a dragon…” Jay complained as he, Wu, and Kai finally made it to Zane. The nindroid turned and was surprised to see that Wu was clinging to Jay’s back.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Jay growled at Zane’s unanswered question, basically dumping Wu in the dirt. “Where’s Cole?”

“I…I do not know…” Zane replied, looking around.

“I’m pretty sure I saw him go flying when the dragon got its wings in order,” Kai pointed out.

“We must find him…and fast.” Wu chimed in. “It is never wise to be alone in these situations.”

#ninjago #Heart of the Oni chapters 8-10 #ninjago fanfiction

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creviewsthings · 6 years

Text

Everyone does this blog once, right? If you have an interest in makeup, that is. I thought I’d go through my current favourite products that I use on an everyday basis! (considering I’m wearing it that day…).

Foundation: Revolution Conceal & Define in ‘F4’

I’m currently loving the Revolution Conceal & Define Foundation! It has a doe foot applicator, which I know is a no-go for some people out there, but for me, I find it helps me to apply the foundation precisely where I need it more conveniently. This foundation is the best everyday one that I own, due to, simply how quickly I can get it on my face. You can read my review on this foundation here.

Concealer: Collection Lasting Perfection in ‘Extra Fair’

A cult favourite and a staple in any person’s go-to products, I’m sure. I’ve used this concealer for as long as I can remember now. I flit between this and the Revolution Conceal & Define in ‘C1’, but I find that due to having more product in this one, I use this one slightly more often. I used to use the shade ‘Fair’, but I find that this new, lighter shade is perfect for brightening my under eyes (which is much needed, trust me). I still use ‘fair’ for blemishes if I feel like I need extra coverage!

Powder: Revolution Baking Powder in ‘Lace’

This is a recent discovery for me, and I’ve been loving it. Before this, I was using Rimmel’s Stay Matte in ‘Translucent’, and I still love that for days where I need a little less. But this little guy is perfect at smoothing everything out, and I find that it helps with my oily skin. I bake my under eyes using my Real Techniques sponge, then use whatever’s left in the lid to dust over the rest of my face with a fluffy brush.

Contour: Seventeen Define & Conquer

For some reason, this kit doesn’t have a shade name on it, and I can’t for the life of me remember what it was but I’m gonna’ say either ‘light’ or ‘fair’? I probably wouldn’t have bought it in anything darker! I love this little nifty set, it’s such a shame that Seventeen doesn’t exist as a brand anymore! I was a latecomer to this and it’s the perfect colour to use as a bronzer/contour combo, which I love on days where I can’t be bothered to do both (which, let’s be honest, is every day). Inside there are a setting/highlight-y powder thing and a darker shade, and I just adore using it to create definition. I use the paler shade less often, to be honest, as it’s a little too powdery and can emphasise dry patches, but I occasionally dabble.

Brows: Revolution brow pomade in ‘Dark Brown’

You’re probably sensing a theme here with my favourite products… I can’t deny it, I just swear by and genuinely do use this Revolution stuff every day! This pomade is smooth, pigmented, and the perfect colour to fill in my brows. My only complaint is that because it lasts me so long, it tends to dry up! I once tried adding a drop of baby oil (after a desperate google search) and that seemed to work a treat, but the perfect product would be one where I didn’t have to do this, and I am open to suggestions, so make sure to comment below.

Blush: MUA Pixel Perfect Multi-Blush in ‘Coral Spice’

This little guy is so cute! I love the packaging, for a start, it’s so pretty to look at. This blush is perfect for me as it is not very pigmented. You might be thinking, Chlo, isn’t that a bad thing? But it builds up so nicely so you can apply as much or as little as you like without looking like a pot doll. I’ve never been a bright coloured blush fan, therefore this is ideal for little old me. MUA is such an affordable brand too! Shoutout to their Undress Your Skin highlighters, that stuff is BLINDING.

Highlight: W7 Glowcomotion

I’ve repurchased this highlighter twice because I hit pan so quickly on it. I absolutely adore this highlighter and I have not yet found one as affordable that compares. It’s the perfect, champagne gold that just gives your skin that perfect glow on your high points. Also, a bonus, it’s a complete dupe for The Balm’s Mary-Lou Manizer, for a fraction of the price!

Eyeshadow: Revolution X Soph palette

I adore SophDoesNails’ YouTube channel, so when she announced she was collaborating on a palette for my favourite drugstore brand, I immediately put it in my basket! This shade range has a little bit of everything; cool tones, warm tones, pops of colour, neutrals, shimmers, mattes… the list goes on. I have a few palettes now and I find that I just reach for this one all the time. I’m yet to try her Extra Spice palette, which also looks amazing, so maybe that will be a future favourite?…

Liner: NYX Epic Ink Liner

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with this liner if I’m honest. When I first bought it, I wore it every single day and adored it. It’s also meant to be a dupe of Kat Von D’s tattoo liner, which is what attracted me to it in the first place. I went through a phase of this liner bleeding like crazy on me, and I wasn’t really sure why and still don’t know to this day. It’s stopped doing it now, therefore I guess it will remain a mystery. It glides on like a dream; super pigmented and precise for wings that could cut you into pieces.

Mascara: Collection Lash Surge

I bought this after seeing many a beauty guru swear by it, and I was not in any way disappointed. I’ve been asked a few times if I’m wearing false lashes when I wear this, so that’s good enough for me! It builds volume, length, and looks bomb. One complaint, if I go a bit overboard it can look slightly clumpy, but that’s completely my own fault. Ride or die product.

Lips: Revolution X Soph in ‘Fudge’

This lipstick! The formula, the colour pay off, everything! I just adore it. It’s the perfect brown/orange toned nude. It’s got a slight shine to it, so if you prefer matte finishes I’d suggest blotting it with some powder. One day maybe I’ll branch out from Revolution products… but if they’re so good, why should I?

Setting Spray: Revolution Sport Fix

For keeping my make up in place, I have to admit that my ride or die is Urban Decay’s de-slick. But let’s be real, that stuff is so pricey! Therefore, I go to this one for everyday use. It’s not quite as good, but at only £5 a bottle I’ll take it.

There we have it! My everyday products all listed. I hope you enjoyed snooping into what I like to use, and maybe got some inspiration. What are your go-to makeup products? Comment below!

chlomarie xx

What’s in my make up bag? MY EVERYDAY GO-TO PRODUCTS Everyone does this blog once, right? If you have an interest in makeup, that is. I thought I'd go through my current favourite products that I use on an everyday basis!

#collection #everyday #make up #make up revolution #me #MUA #revolution #W7

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hoodoo12 · 6 years

Text

The Boy in Blue

People have asked for some more of Cop Rick. How could I decline?

You know the sound of a portal. And you just heard one, but you can’t find it.

Rick had told you to be ready tonight and you’d been waiting for him. But the hours passed and it was looking like—typical, the asshole!—he stood you up again. Then came the unmistakable pulling sound and you looked around expectantly, but no swirling oval of greens and yellows erupted in the room. There was no evidence of one in any of the rooms of your flat—not large, by any means, just the living/dining/kitchen area, your bedroom, and bathroom.

After completing a circuit of your small living space you stood in the middle of the living area, perplexed.

There was a knock on your door.

What the—?

You went to it, made sure the chain is still attached, and cautiously opened it to peer out.

Rick was there. Cop Rick. The one from the city your Rick abandoned you at. He’s out of uniform, but you recognize him.

What the—?

He smiled, ran a hand over the back of his neck, and said,

“H-hey. You, uh . . . you forgot your toothbrush.”

It took you a few excruciatingly long seconds to fumble the chain lock open. You’re shaking. Why are you shaking?

Finally you’re able to open the door and stand there, dumbfounded. “Officer Sanchez! Hi!”

“Hi,” he replied. “Is this an okay time? Can-can I come in?”

“What? Oh, yes! Please! Come in!”

You stood back so he can enter. You wish you hadn’t been lazy today. You should have straightened the place up! There are books scattered everywhere and dirty dishes on the end table—holy crap, you left a trail of dirty laundry from your bathroom to your bedroom when you disrobed to go to bed last night! Normally you wouldn’t care, because Rick—the Rick you knew best, from your dimension—doesn’t care either, but now, with Officer Sanchez here, unannounced and unexpectedly, you’re embarrassed.

Or maybe you’re blushing and feel hot because he is standing so close . . .

You said, “I didn’t expect you to show up—“

And he said, “I’m sorry to drop in like this—“

—at the same time.

It made you both stop, and apologize, and try again. It repeated. Then you’re laughing, and he looked amused. After a moment, giving you the opportunity to speak that you don’t take, Rick said,

“I didn’t mean to just show up, but . . . well, here I am, I guess. You gave me your address and dimension, remember?”

He asked like maybe you didn’t remember, or maybe you did it out of some weird social obligation and you never expected him to actually show up where you live.

“No, I remember!” you reassured him, putting a hand on his arm. “I’m glad you did! It’s nice to see you again!”

“You look so nice. Like you’re ready to go out. I didn’t mean to wreck your evening, I just wanted to drop off your toothbrush . . .” his voice trailed off.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you told him.

You had dressed a little more nicely than normal: a short skirt and button down blouse, plus the garter belt and stockings because they made you feel daring. And you’d put on some makeup; occasionally Rick had scoffed at the amount of time you took to apply it, but you liked upswept winged eye liner and darker lipstick. But your Rick wasn’t here, the asshole, so you were glad to have someone appreciate the effort.

“Come on, Officer. Sit down.”

Awkwardly he handed you the toothbrush you’d left at his place. You took it to your bathroom, kicking at your dirty clothes in what you hope is an inconspicuous way as you called over your shoulder,

“Seriously! Just sit anywhere! Give me one second—“

In the bathroom, out of his sight, you do a quick once-over in the mirror. No lipstick on your teeth, check. Hair okay? Check. You dug into the front of your shirt, grabbed your boobs, and adjusted them so there’s more cleavage. You also readjust your thong so it’s less uncomfortable, then go back to where he is.

Rick hadn’t sat down. He’s examining the photos you have tacked to your walls, mostly cheap prints of sunrises and canyons. He turned back to you as you enter.

“Would you like something to drink?” you asked. “I have vodka and gin and I think there’s some red wine . . .”

“I’m not on duty, so . . . a vodka and soda would be nice.”

Vodka and soda. Typically you’d just set the bottle of pure alcohol in front of your Rick. This guy was fancy.

“Officer, I have to insist! Sit down!”

“Don’t call me Officer,” he replied. “Just Rick is fine.”

You waved him off and agreed. He finally took a seat on your couch while you bustled and poured out two drinks. Carrying them back to him, you sipped from yours as you handed his over, then sat down next to him, curling one leg under you. Your skirt rode up as you do, but you don’t rearrange it.

“So . . . how are things on the . . .” You searched for the word. “. . . Citadel?” There. That was a strong opening gambit.

Cop Rick told you a little about his job, which lead to a more in-depth explanation of what the Citadel is—your Rick refused to elaborate, even after stranding you there, blowing off your questions in annoyance. Rick, in turn, asked about you and your employment, and you told him some not-quite-superficial, not-quite intimate details about yourself.

Most times you hate small talk, but you’re genuinely interested in what he has to say. He’s attentive to you too. It’s comfortable and he’s easy to talk to. Most of the way through your third vodka and soda—he’s on his second—you asked him how he got here. Didn’t he say he didn’t have a portal gun?

Rick nodded in agreement. “You’re right. I got a temporary permit for . . . well, for seeing you.”

“That’s so nice!” you gushed, and draped your leg over his lap. “If I’d known you were planning on coming over, I would have made dinner. I would have fancied myself up for you!”

You were only a little tipsy, you told yourself.

He chuckled. You watched over the top of your glass as he started to put a hand on your knee, hesitated, then committed to the movement. His palm was warm. You took another swallow of your drink.

“You look v-v-very n-nice,” he told you. “I don’t think you’d n-need to get fancier for me.”

“Mmm, you’re sweet. The only other time you saw me I was wearing shabby shorts and a see-through tee-shirt—“

“It wasn’t quite see-through,” he interrupted in a mumble, and you gave him a smile.

“—like I said, you’re sweet. Did you like that better? Is this too much for you? Some guys don’t like a lot of make up or girly clothing, they like more natural and comfortable stuff. You know? What do you prefer?”

Oh lordy lou, were you babbling? The butterflies in your stomach had left; what was this, now?

You stretched your leg out a little, pointing your toes. The movement hiked your skirt a little bit more, and the top of the stockings on that leg was visible now. Very coquettishly, you lifted the hem of your skirt just a smidge more, to showcase your garter straps.

“Is what I’m wearing now okay? Or is it too complicated, Rick?”

Who were you?

You watched his throat contract as he swallows. You also don’t miss his eyes tracking the movement of your fingers as they played with the edge of your skirt. Daring to take it a little further, you traced the lace of the stocking with a finger.

“It’s . . . it’s not t-too complicated,” he answered, after licking his lips like they’re dry. “I-I think . . .”

He pulled his gaze away from your thigh and looked you in the eye.

“You’re very pretty,” he said, with no stutter.

“Thank you!” You’re sincere in the appreciation; your Rick doesn’t say things like that to you. You sat up a little, leaning your torso towards him. You took his mostly empty glass and set it, with yours, on the coffee table.

“I hope you don’t think-I hope I wasn’t too forward, just showing up,” he continued.

“I don’t,” you told him, moving even closer to him.

“It’s rude, I s-should have contacted you,” he insisted on saying. He licked his lips again.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You tilted your head a little.

“I j-just, I couldn’t stop thinking about, about you—“

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either.”

“—is this okay? Are you sure? I don’t want to do anything you don’t want—“

You silenced him with a kiss. This seemed to be a developing theme between you two.

All his hesitation melted away, though, when your tongue searched for his. He’s still gentle but there’s an underlying current of need and desire. He pushed against you, and his hand, the one on your knee, slipped smoothly up your stocking-clad leg, to the lace top. He dug his fingers a little under the edge of the elastic.

You hold him by his neck and jaw and fell back as you kiss him, pulling him down with you between your legs. You half expected him to resist, but he let you manipulate him. His hand goes further up your skirt and encounters your panties. He gave them a little snap, and it made you jump, and giggle.

He smiled too, through another kiss. You shift a little, under him, and wrap your legs over the backs of his thighs.

“You’re sure . . .?” he can’t seem to help repeat.

Obviously you’re going to have to be direct with him. You pulled back a bit and looked at him directly.

When he’s truly paying attention, you told him seriously, “Rick Sanchez, I want you to fuck me.”

A breath hitched in his throat and a blush crept over his cheeks. He searched your face one last time as if to verify you’re not lying, joking, or somehow under a spell that makes you say only the opposite of what you want. Finding none of those, a new grin lifted one side of his mouth. With a laugh that sounds like pure joy, he kissed you again and again.

Your first night together—truly together, intimately together—was giggly and not too serious, which helped smooth over typical first-time-doing-this awkwardness. Rick uncovered a highly guarded secret—you were ticklish when the right amount of breath was whispered into your ear—and you discovered he used the word fuck as an encouragement and praise as you went down on him.

He fumbled a bit with the straps and closures of your undergarments, like he’d never quite dealt with something like that. In return you didn’t say anything about never having been with an uncircumcised man before, or that you weren’t quite sure if there was something you should do differently because of it.

You just did what you knew, and it worked out fine. Rick’s hands became adept quickly and found just the right spots to caress and pinch and stroke, and he never hesitated to kiss you anywhere.

His body is mostly familiar to you—lean, each spinal process evident—but he’s more toned than you expected, and in between licking and kissing, your fingers found something unique. They tracked the map of the scar on his shoulder that you’d previously felt under his shirt, but had never seen.

At the end the exploration and foreplay culminated in him asking if you had a condom. He fretted he wasn’t prepared, and confessed he hadn’t actually expected it to go this far . . . you kissed him soundly, told him you were on birth control and were disease free. He admitted he was too, that the clinics on the Citadel were pretty forward about making sure every Rick didn’t carry anything—you kissed him again to shut him up.

You told him any position he wanted would be fine with you. You were happy to let him be behind you, if that’s what would be best for him. In your experience, guys liked the position.

But Rick told you no, he’d rather be able to see your face, and he guided you back on the bed before settling between your legs. Although he kept his eyes closed at his first push into you, he opened them to watch you like he said, finding your mouth occasionally while you moaned during each thrust.

He was slow and deliberate and occasionally paused deep inside you with a closed-eyed look of concentration on his face so he didn’t come too quickly.

You tilted your hips and reached behind you head to steady yourself by holding the headboard. Rick didn’t alter his pace, but the slight shifting of your position tipped him just enough to make pleasure spark through you even more. You locked your legs tightly around his waist and tensed in your core as you orgasmed.

He gave you a moment; you were able to see his softer, satisfied smile through half-closed eyes, then you urged him to continue.

It wasn’t much longer or much more movement before his pleasure peaked too. Buried deep in you, he came with a groan. He shuddered and gasped and stayed immobile for a long moment, still inside you, while you pressed kisses to the side of his head and scratched long lines lightly over his shoulders.

Finally he groaned again and eased himself back away from you, and sank down beside you on the bed.

You sat up and rummaged a moment to pull the sheets and blanket up over the two of you, which you hoped signaled to Rick that you expected him to spend the night. Then you cuddled into his side.

You whispered, “Thanks.”

He picked up his head.

“You may not thank me in the morning.”

The blunt statement startled you.

His continued grim tone was worrisome. “I s-sleep in the middle of the bed, all sprawled out. You’re not going to get any-any of the blankets, and you’re going to wake up cold and cramped from the awkward position.

“Just so you know,” he finished with an indifferent shrug.

You tried to match his level of seriousness, but couldn’t.

“So you don’t think I can hold my own, even while sleeping?” you demanded. Your voice broke as you struggled not to giggle at the end.

Rick gazed at you solemnly for another moment, as if disapproving of your reluctance to take this matter seriously, then broke into a grin himself.

“I’d expect nothing less!” he admitted, and draped himself over you to kiss you again.

It took a bit of time for you both to settle, stop laughing, and drift into sleep.

You made a point of thanking him again the next morning. Rick snorted and rolled on top of you, which dissolved into an under the blankets wrestling match that you didn’t fight too hard to win. You did anyway. Rick, pinned under you, relaxed with his hands tucked under his head, looked smug.

You could only roll your eyes and nipped at his chest—no one looked smug fending off a bite! Rick then asked if he could take a shower.

You told him of course he could, then gallantly offered to join him.

He didn’t decline.

Under the spray of water, soap-slick and warm, the only comfortable position in the stall was for Rick to be behind you. Although you didn’t come this time, you were more than satisfied that he did. Between gasps to catch his breath, he promised to make it up to you.

You kissed him and told him you’d hold him to it.

Breakfast wasn’t much: orange juice and pancakes from a boxed mix.

He didn’t seem to be able to stop touching you: brushing your hair out of your face, putting a hand on your shoulder, running his fingers over the top of your hand.

Once again, the conversation was comfortable. You asked about his family and grandson; he told you didn’t have one, but that he had had Morty partner for a while, then . . . he left it at that and you were able to infer he didn’t have the same background as other Ricks. It was getting easier to comprehend the idea of infinite dimensions.

Finally, though, he glanced at the clock on your stove and his face fell. Quietly, he told you he was going to have to go.

“It’s-it’s the temporary permit,” he said apologetically. “I voluntarily gave up my—handed in my portal gun when I became a Citadel citizen, and when they first reissue a new one, it’s only good for f-fifteen hours. To make sure you’re coming back. The price of citizenship, I guess.”

“What if I hadn’t been here? What would you have done?” you asked.

Rick shrugged. “A couple of Ricks at the station told me about a bar that’s supposed to be Rick-friendly. I might’ve tried it. Or maybe I would have just-just stayed outside your door, till you came back.”

He stood up, and you copy him. He offered you a hand, which you took, so he could pull you closer. He kissed you, long and slow and sweet. Your heart felt like it was going to beat right out of your chest.

When it’s done, you looked up at him and said, “Thanks for bringing back my toothbrush.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And you don’t have to leave anything here as an excuse to come back,” you added coyly.

That blush inched up his face again. You liked it; it was cute. He nodded.

With another quick kiss, he reluctantly stepped away, then found his portal gun, conjured the swirling mass of color in your wall, and walked through. You waved a little to him as he disappeared.

Standing in your now silent flat, you’re happy “your Rick” stood you up last night.

Then it occurred to you that maybe you should rethink who “your Rick” was.

fin.

#rick and morty #cop rick #rick and reader #fanfic #fan fic #Cop Rick/reader #the Long Arm of the Law series

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five-wow · 4 years

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considering what we now know, one of the last of these i might ever get to do: i watched 10.18! thoughts under the cut.

the previously on reminds us of adam’s yakuza problems, so i was braced for that, and then we get an establishing shot of the mcgarrett house instead! and suddenly steve is ironing a shirt on a towel in his kitchen again, and for a moment i was extremely confused because this is very clearly not the same shot as in the valentine’s episode but it’s also... the same thing?

BUT THEN, of course, we get steve raising a finger and going “don’t” just before we’re shown that danny is SITTING ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WATCHING HIM, again i might add, and danny hasn’t even said anything yet but steve is already defensive and claiming that he likes ironing (which i love, that is a wonderful headcanon) and as far as déjà vus go, this is one i do not mind in the slightest. this is, in fact, the exact content i come here for.

okay wait, EVEN BETTER, danny seems to be sitting on the counter... reading a book? he is... in the kitchen, reading (writing in? idk) a book (in a room where there are zero chairs, which is usually where people locate their asses when they read books), while steve is also in the kitchen, ironing a shirt? dear lord. danny moved in and suddenly eddie wasn’t the only guy following steve from room to room in his own house anymore, i guess.

waiiit, steve is going on a date with emma. that is. not bad, just, so very confusing. (potentially very much a lie, omfg. that kind of confusing.)

HAH. i’m not the only one who went “?”, because danny doesn’t believe steve either.

fdjkfd steve asks alexa for his schedule to prove he’s telling the truth but what this really proves is that if it’s a lie, steve had the foresight and intention to put a fake appointment in his calendar, which i would in no way put past him. that’s the easiest thing in the world.

also, danny casually dropping in that he bought alexa for steve? i??? danny is just “casually” hanging out in rooms steve is hanging out in while it makes no sense for danny to be there, buying steve presents, pulling steve’s pigtails by questioning everything he does when he gets the chance, and that’s? that’s normal now?

junior!!! junior pops into the kitchen!

and he’s GOT A DATE TOO, which is a) WONDERFUL and b) a reason for danny to start describing tani which is fascinating and c) a reason for steve to say “well you know what, i think it’s great that you and tani are giving it a go, bud”, which is super cute and it’s A+ to know they have steve’s official stamp of approval (i mean, he’s their boss, that could’ve somehow gotten awkward), but also leads to a shot we get of danny pulling a face that’s kind of “ugh” and “yeah right” mixed into one and just. you know where i’m going with this. if you’re on this blog and you’ve read this post all the way to this point you definitely know where i’m going with this, but yes, this is absolutely danny mentally yelling that it sure is great THEY’RE giving it a go, steve, and doesn’t that potentially inspire you to ruminate on something going on in your own life, like, say, how you feel about your best friend and partner who also works on the taskforce with you and has a big mouth and whose name is oddly close to tani, actually, for that matter?

steve gets a call about shots fired at adam’s building and i’m just now realizing i’m only two minutes into this episode. i’ve spent at least ten times the amount of time rambling that i have watching anything. gonna need to shake that up a little bit.

fdjkfd lou and hpd enter adam’s apartment and they find at least three guys in actual gear, all dead, and adam curled up on the floor in what looks like sleep clothes, with blood all over him, and a) is adam literally superman now? but also b) even if i do accept that it’s possible he killed all of those guys before they managed to hit him anywhere vital even once, then how did he get smeared in blood that evenly all over? did he roll around on the floor before he curled up in the corner? i’m not an expert, but i feel like that’s not how a person would look after fighting off three attackers and presumably shooting most of them.

oh BOY. adam, with a crazy glint in his eyes: “i’ve been trying to dismantle kenji’s operation for months now. and i finally have the evidence to do it.” i both unexpectedly like this, and already low key hate it for how it’s probably going to be used as the show’s way of clearing adam from all the completely bonkers things he’s been doing all on his own with zero authorization or backup and bringing him back into the fold of five-0 as a somehow still trusted team member.

oh dang. opening credits do their thing, and then there’s no pause to check whether there’s even actually any actual evidence on that thumb drive adam was holding, but we just jump to swat, adam, lou and junior rolling up to kenji’s house and engaging in a huge shootout.

adam is now the lone dude pursuing kenji through the dark woods, who is also alone, of course. they brawl, adam gets the upper hand, and he gets a chance to shoot kenji which he doesn’t take, and then he calls for emts (good! this is good!) and extremely dramatically tells kenji “you were right not to trust me. i was working for five-0 the whole time”, and it just sounds like such a weird brag at this point. so i guess adam never went to the bad side again, suddenly? he just... keeps pretending he does over and over, and the criminals on this very small island keep being stupid enough to trust him, which honestly, is on them.

adam keeps bragging and oh gosh, tell me there’s a twist here and this is not just his victory lap. there’s so much of the episode left that something has to go very wrong about adam’s nice plan to wrap it all up neatly.

aha! it’s implied that letting kenji live might go badly for adam because kenji has information about adam that is bad for him. they did not completley forget that adam did crime stuff!

noelani seems to be at a funeral and we meet her parents and they don’t exactly seem super proud of her achievements, which i think we were told in the past, but now we’re shown, and it hurts my heart.

oh noooo. noelani gets to the open casket and immediately finds marks on the body that she clearly thinks are suspicious. that’s! not going to go well, gosh.

fdjkfdjkf adam and steve are in steve’s office and steve basically just went “so your plan to fight the yakuza was to join the yakuza” and adam very seriously goes “yes.”

steve is very not happy and adam doesn’t truly seem to grasp why and then steve’s phone rings and there’s a case, which is very nice timing for adam. saved by the bell.

so five-0 is on a ship that got robbed by pirates but it’s all very mysterious, and then they realize there might still be a pirate on board and they split into search parties and it’s junior and tani as one (who start talking about their missed date), and steve and danny as the other (who are not shown talking about dates, but who knows), and just. i love watching both of those duos work together, and the junior-tani vs steve-danny parallel is once again very in your face, hah.

tani gets locked in a kitchen with the pirate and junior is outside freaking out and that’s angsty but then junior and steve finally break through the door in a combined effort and they and danny rush in, only to find tani has already solved the problem without their help. YES. GOOD CONTENT.

jkfdfjdk over on the island, quinn is now helping noelani intimidate the coroner who wrote a bad report on noelani’s uncle’s death and that is ALSO very good content.

dfjdk lou welcomes most of the team back to hq and asks “anybody left pining”, which he follows up with the rest of a sentence about the high seas, but UH. YES. i know some people who might be pining.

lots of plot stuff happens and it’s genuinely interesting to watch, but also, oh my god, quinn and noelani are making me cry.

fjdkfd tani goes to meet one of the guys from the magnum pi crossover and he says he’s still waiting to hear back from quinn about the dinner he was hoping to have with her, and i like that because my lesbian quinn headcanon is still going strong.

quinn and noelani encounter a teen trying to get out of gang life who might be on a wealthy person’s hitlist, and my first thought is just. put the kid in the mcgarrett house. not only will he be instantly adopted by steve (and thereby gain a complicated network of siblings), but he’ll also be living in a place where he’s protected by not one, not two, but three members of five-0, two of whom are former seals. just. aside from the dire lack of beds, it would be so good.

jfkdslf, steve, danny and junior find the pirates and a room full of bags of powder that looks like drugs but probably isn’t, seeing as it killed the pirates, and then a small army rolls up outside and starts shooting at them, forcing them to take cover in the room with the powder, which starts dusting the air as the bags get shot. i love how the writers made the circumstances work here, omg.

I LOVE THE WAY THAT PLAYED OUT EVEN MORE, because it made a) for a very interesting shootout with clear stakes, and b) for a somehow both hilarious and potentially super angsty moment when danny is fairly affected by the powder, which has to bring up some bad sarin gas memories for him, and then steve shoots one last bad guy right over danny’s head and danny’s ears are ringing and he yells something and steve doesn’t understand him and just kind of pats his back in comfort, which in turn gives me strong driving-a-nuclear-bomb-through-the-woods, name-your-restaurant-Steve’s-please flashbacks, oh my gosh.

tani makes a REALLY LAME PIRATE JOKE and i LOVE HER.

quinn got the whole team together at a bar so noelani wouldn’t be sitting at home alone!!! the type of supportive female friendship i want to see!!!

and then quinn wants noelani to come dancing with her, but the magnum pi guy shows up and noelani tells him that maybe he could take her place. GAY QUINN IS SOARING. also, poor woman. this has strong vibes of danny setting steve up half against his will.

tani and junior watch quinn and the guy dance and decide to join and/or dance fight them in the best conversation ever, and it looks they’re all having SO MUCH FUN and it makes my heart happy.

what ALSO makes my heart happy is how much i enjoyed this episode, because i thought there would be a lot of yakuza stuff after that “previously on” and the beginning, but adam just kind of disappeared after his talk with steve, and suddenly there were two entirely unrelated plots which were both very neat and gave me so, so many character interactions i adored, ahh, how wonderful. i love season 10 so much.

#10.18 #h50 #so much good stuff!!

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