#i have a longer shift tomorrow due to someone

[undercoverpena]

viii. tomorrow I'll be gone, save tonight

javier peña x f!reader | chapter eight of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: fluff. flirting. continuous romcom vibes. fluff. falling in love. idiots in love. we're approaching the sadness ✨ wordcount: 3.4k.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

It takes longer to get going the next day—mainly due to the number of times one of you begins pulling the other close.

A simple kiss here, a nuzzle there.

The morning ticking away as the two of you remain blissfully happy under hotel sheets. All undressed, sated and smiling.

Now, he’s basking in your laugh.

Laughing at him as he tries (poorly) to explain and rationalise his low score on Snakes. The game you had told him about to begin with.

Tears falling from the edges of your eyes as he tries to argue his case repeatedly. Your little wheeze making his heart clench with joy—your head shaking, hand cupping your mouth as each noise slips out.

“You’re clearly just not good with your fingers.”

He pinches you teasingly. “You know that’s not true.”

You're still smiling, your laugh fading as shyness begins to fall over your features. It starts with your eyes dropping to the bedsheets hiding both of your bare skin, and he waits for the feeble ‘stop’ that’s usually accompanied by a swat.

It never comes.

You lift your gaze back up instead, something twinkling, sparkling in your eyes. “Give it to me.”

“What?” 

Gesturing for his phone, you take it, all devious smirk with a wiggle of your shoulders. Throwing his arm behind his head, sighing—all blissful and content—as he leans against the headboard before you begin shifting in the sheets. Watching as you begin moving so your bare skin is on show as you do so. Slowly, and teasingly, you begin positioning yourself between his legs, as he sits up so your back connects with his chest. 

“Watch the master, okay?” 

He smirks, snorting. But he still slides his hands around your waist, feeling you twitch from the first feel of it before you relax. 

“So what’s the—“

“Shh,” you say, his lips sliding to your cheek, smelling the lingering scent of your perfume from dinner last night—and the two of you. 

His eyes fix on the screen. Watching the digital serpent slide around the screen to the sound of your key clicks—each pixel-bit collected as the tail grows longer. Your movements are quick—far quicker than he can text, never mind play this—

“Wait, you can go through walls?” 

“This one… this one you can,” you reply, words dropping off, concentration hanging on each syllable. 

It’s odd to be in awe of someone in how they control a snake across a screen. But he is. The score racked up, far surpassing the one that took him an embarrassing amount of time. 

Then, the screen flashes, your groan so cute—grunting out of you as you shake your head in annoyance. 

“You should take this off me.” 

“Competitive, are we?” 

Smirking, you hand him the phone as he casts it to the side with relative ease. More focused on keeping you here, close, skin to skin. 

“How am I even meant to beat that score, querida?” His lips find the skin behind your ear.  

“You’ll have to try real hard.” 

“You’re devious.”

“I prefer menace.” 

He’s about to agree, your mouth connecting with his—stealing them. Feeling the way you’re trying to punctuate something to him with your lips. Fingers brushing over his cheek, over the edge of the hair above his lip, before you slowly stop, lashes lifting to shower him in something which both shatters him and heals him all at once. 

“I should shower. Alone.” 

His mouth twists as he fights a smirk, all reluctant to let you leave this time. Like he had been the last time, his fingers softly holding your wrist, as you mumble about being quick, that if he was taking you out for the day, you wanted to not stink of sex. 

Something he wouldn’t have complained about, personally. Until he remembers the scent of your body wash. The one which has been burying itself inside of him, a flurry of softness and sweetness that if he ever smells a single ingredient of it, he’ll think of you. 

“I do wanna take you on all the dates, baby. So, go. Shower. Otherwise, I’ll never get the chance.”

You look over your shoulder, bent over your case. “All of them?” 

“Need to cram in all I can until…”

His words fade as he feels himself lurch. The noticeable hole in his chest began to widen—the one first appearing when you fell asleep in his arms last night.

Now, though, he gets to watch your reaction too. A front-row seat to your bottom lip wobbling, eyes averting him—as though you’re splitting apart two.

He doesn’t think. He just moves. Javi's feet kick the sheets free as he walks over to you. “Yeah, let’s… let’s not talk about that.” 

Burying his lips against yours to rid you of any remainders of it, as he positions your body back against him where he can. The wall greeting your back, his palm boxing you in until the two of you forget all about the impending deadline—and only about the now. 

“Javi…”

He groans, pressing his forehead to yours. “I know. You want a shower.”

Your fingers tap his chest lightly, forcing his head to lift, lips pressing a kiss to your hairline before turning. 

Sighing, he runs his hand over his face—hearing the bathroom door close—as the sheets crinkle back beneath him, blending with the falling water coming from the room next to him. 

He was happy. 

Ridiculously so. It runs through him together with looser muscles and more relaxed nerves. It swims inside his chest and balloons his heart. Mainly, it sits in his cheeks—the ones slowly beginning to ache from how often he’s been sporting that grin only you can pull from him. 

should I be worried about how long youre in the store for 

The woman in front of me is returning her entire life and then using coupons to buy a new life. Kill me.

cant. unfortunately I would miss you 

You’d replace with me ease. Have you seen your face?

can’t replace you hermosa but hurry up before I begin taking a bite out of each of the donuts 

You wouldn’t dare.

Id dare because the glazed one looks good 

“We could do nothing.”

It’s not that he hadn’t thought of (or planned) what the two of you could do together, he just hadn’t expected to burn through them all so quickly.

It didn’t help that it had been a while—too long—since he’d dated a person. Rarely ever making it past the first date. Most of them being dinner or coffee, or not even making it to either and finding himself getting what he needed without learning their surname.

Smirking, he runs his tongue across his teeth. “Nothing isn’t a date.”

“Not that way, we do nothing,” you retort, and he shakes his head as he grins. “We’ve done a restaurant, a museum, a picnic. We’ve done a lot.”

“We could go to the cinema?”

“But that means I can’t talk to you for over an hour.”

Javi smiles, hand running across his jaw. “Could make out at the back, though?”

Pulling a face, you sigh. “You drive a hard bargain, you do. But—”

“Fine, no movies. Another time?”

Grinning, you lean back in the booth of the diner, the one you’d requested—determined to make your way through the menu before you left.

Smiling, you sigh contently. “One day, we won’t even need to question it. It’ll be like a weekday date thing we do—once a month, on a Wednesday.”

“You thought about it?”

You hum, glancing back over the menu—brows knitting as you attempt to choose. “What?”

“Us. Dating.”

Your eyes flash up, all wide, full of panic. “Is that… I guess—I mean, like I know this isn’t conventional in the slightest and—and we haven’t, like, talked about it. I… I’m fucking up, aren’t I? Shit—“

“Fuck, hermosa. No. I mean… us going on dates, together. After this week—in one location, a setting a plan.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Swallowing, you shift in your spot. “Um. Yeah, I have. The location is foggy, naturally.”

“Naturally.”

Your eyes fall to the table, fingers tapping along the plastic as you do. “I—I know… well, because I know you have the ranch and your pop, Javi.”

He swallows, rolling his lips as you try to fake a smile. 

“So, I know what that means. As I’m sure, you do.” 

He doesn’t, not a single clue. His brain racks to find it—what it is that you mean—but you clear your throat, eviscerating any further attempt at a push for that information as you smile, significant—all beautiful and charming. 

“What about bowling?” 

“You’re a cheat.” 

Coming up behind you, he spins you on the spot. Welcomed immediately by your grin, the one he’s been able to admire on your face for the last hour.

“Don’t be like that, Spare. You did well. Only 28 points behind.”

Shoving a finger at his chest, shaking your head, “You blindfolded me for one.”

“So, I could kiss you.” 

Smirking, you slowly wrap your arms around his neck, his arms finding their place on your hips. A place they’ve come to know as home. “You were worried about me winning, weren’t you?” 

“You were showing me up.”

“Bet if we went shooting, you’d beat me—Mr DEA,” you say, the latter all a whisper. 

“You’d go shooting?”

“Oh, fuck no. I can barely be trusted at the fair to shoot those little tin cans off the stand—you should not, I repeat not, put a gun in my hand.”

Beaming, he draws shapes with his thumbs. “Alright, noted.” 

Watching you from the corner of his eye as you grin, fidgeting with your jacket before you look up, and come to a stop. Something flashes across your face, glee—excitement—your head twisting to meet him. 

Then your hand slides inside his, the other hand wrapping around his wrist. He doesn’t fight the way you pull him towards it. The little photobooth you’d eyed up in the bowling alley. 

“Please?”

As if he could ever say no. 

Your legs over his, bodies crammed in the small space as he slides the dollar in. Your face is full of glee, your body bursting with excitement. 

I’ve always wanted to do one of these. 

There’s no decision on poses, you pressing your cheek to his as you slap the button, and the two of you grin on command. FLASH. Then after, it’s a quick reposition of movements that the two of you both seem to understand as you both pull a silly face. FLASH.

The next, he’s sure time slows for. Javi’s head turning, eyes lingering on you as your laugh blossoms across your features. His heart thundering in his chest, hammering so loud and heavy as that familiar, wanted, feeling flares up inside of him.

It isn’t until the next flash does he realise how wide he’s smiling. Feels it in his cheeks, as the light illuminates the flecks in your eyes—the ones he wants to fall into and never leave.

Then, time resumes, you leaning in—hand on his cheek, nose tip to his: the almost kiss.

FLASH.

Neither of you move. The two of you hovering as the photos finishes, the machine whirring—

“Kiss me,” you whisper, lips ghosting over his.

And who is he to deny you? Javi would kiss you forever if he could, so he slants his mouth over yours, feeling that rush of warmth in his chest that he gets when he kisses you. When he gets to, your smile presses against him, his fingers sliding up your neck. 

“You’re so handsome, Javi.” 

He smiles, thumb brushing your cheek as the machine spits out the two copies. Your arm diving, body twisting from him as you do—taking them, handing him one. 

But he doesn’t even stare down at his own copy. Javi just watches as you take in yours. How your eyes flick down each one, alternating smiles as you take them all in—lingering back up to the third. 

Just like he is. 

“We look good.”  

You grin, swallowing. “We do.”

You married yet?

shut up murphy 

Tell her I said hi. 

Javier Peña had wished for a lot of things when he was in Colombia.

A lead. A break. To catch Escobar. To take down the cartel. To keep himself intact—to leave with his head held high.

Then he wished for nothing. No reason to, no hope or want that even allowed the thought of one to appear, never mind to request it.

Now all he was doing was wishing.

As each hour of your last day together ticks on, he longs for more. Prays for a phone call that tells you that you can stay—craves a justifiable reason to throw you in his truck and take you back with him.

There isn’t one.

Just a looming goodbye and a prickling pain that’s biting at the edges of happiness and adoration.

He’d wanted to take you for food, but you’d insisted on drinks. Finding your leg between his as you tell him about your friend moving for her new job, about your childhood and how you had a goldfish once.

In the last few days, the two of you had shared so much, that the missing pieces of who the other is began to fill. He’d told you bits about Colombia, his Mom, Laredo.

You’d told him about work, about the people you meet—the issues you have to sort. The things in your apartment, the things you do with Aish and the life you live.

But, the confession that gets to him, is spoken softer, dropped into conversation nervously—as though you’ve been worrying about speaking it:

I like all the things we’ve been doing, but I have missed doing the crossword with you.

It’s that declaration that makes him talk about why. Allows him share that he likes doing them with you too, having done them for something to do—no pressure after Colombia, just a puzzle that needed solving.

Javi isn’t stupid, he knows there’s a bigger reason as to why he likes doing them, and with you. Why they have fallen to the wayside as soon as he had you in his arms. It pulses in his chest and drums along his bones.

And then you take his hand, as though knowing it too. Clutching it tight, a thousand questions bubbling about Colombia, but are never spoken. Because you don’t ask, don’t push.

I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready.

Your words make his heart soar. Make the beer on the table fall over as he leans across to kiss you, to cup your cheeks and thank you with his tongue behind your teeth.

Now, he’s glancing over at you—watching you with your legs crossed, eyes shimmering from alcohol. You wrap cheese around your finger, licking it from your skin before taking a large bite. 

“This pizza may be the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

His mouth slides into a smirk, all about to make a comment when your eyes land on him. 

“Second to you, of course.”

“You been around me a week, and look at the tongue you have on you.”

“Yeah, you’re a bad influence.”

Leaning back, he wipes his fingers on a napkin. “You mind?” 

Shifting his weight on the floor, he watches as you chew—the back of your hand covering your mouth as your eyes roll, chewing more furiously. He shifts again, feeling something digging in, moving his hand to his back pocket of jeans, only to pull out a strip of photos.

The ones taken a day ago. 

His fingers unfold them as he hears you clear your throat, reaching for your red cup filled with wine as his eyes land on the third one down. The one where you’re laughing, spotting how he’s looking at you—not sure if he ever remembers seeing that look on his face in any other photo or in the mirror. 

“No, I—”

“Baby.”

He doesn’t mean to interrupt, but it's sitting on his chest again. Rising and falling like waves, and he’s tired of waiting for the storm to pass. Especially when he doesn’t want it to.

Javi wants it. You. Him. So much so, it’s close to erupting from him. The confession which has been sitting there, growing with each minute he spends with you until it thumps independently to his heart and feelings. A thing which has grown, expanded until it's now filling the space in him that he always imagined would be vast and empty. 

“Javi…”

“I want those dates with you. Cinema ones, once a month.”

Watching as your mouth falls open, hand furiously wipes the pizza dust from your fingers onto a napkin as you turn on your hip to face him. 

Clearing your throat, you sigh. “Me too. But, I know you have feelings on long distance, but—“

“Wait. What? What makes you say that?” 

Shrugging, you avert your eyes, lips rolling together nervously. “You said the other day, about how you almost got married. Before the DEA. That you were glad. That the distance wouldn’t have worked, and it meant you could focus.” 

His brow raises, waiting, wondering. 

Thinking there’s more—there has to be. The pieces not fitting, until they slowly slide into view. Your words in the diner, I know what that means. As I’m sure you do.

“Querida, no—”

“Did I… Did I put two and two together?” 

Taking your hand, pizza dust be damned, he sighs. “I… it was complicated. I just… I didn’t wanna marry her, but I didn’t want you to think I was an asshole for that. For leaving her, the way I did—I probably didn’t explain it well. But, it’s different with us. I want to make this work with you.”

His grip tightens on your hand, fingers lifting your chin so your eyes have nowhere else to look other than his. 

“So, we don’t see one another every week. We’ll plan it—talk like we did before, and make sure we have phone dates.” 

Nodding, he watches as your eyes fill with tears. Shimmering, making the flecks in your eyes stand out even more. 

“You don’t think I’m too much?”

His eyes widen, face softening—realising he's doing it again, the puppy face (as you so eloquently called it a day ago).

“No. Not in the slightest. I told you—baby, I never think that. Haven’t once.”

You look surprised, but you swallow it—smiling instead. “It won’t be easy.”

And he wants to laugh. Because he knows that. He knows hard. He’s faced hard, run through and been smacked with hard.

This with you, it could never be described as that. It’s easy, like breathing or existing.

So he cups your cheek, seeing you visibly sobering under the conversation. “I think we can do it.”

It’s more a statement, than a question. Watching you think it over, all unreadable, anxiousness fluttering in his stomach.

“I know we can,” he adds. “Until one day…”

“One day,” you repeat, as though turning the words over on your tongue. “Are you… are you sure?”

Looping his fingers around your neck, he presses his forehead to yours. Intimate, close—romantic. “Of course, baby. I want this—you, us. Do… Do you?” 

A tear falls, skidding down the apple of your cheek as you smile. “Of course. I… I may have cried in the shower this morning… because I didn’t want to say goodbye.” 

He sighs, light—shifting the weight which had been resting on him and closing the hole in his chest. Pressing his lips to your forehead, thumb and fingers stroking your cheek. 

“I can’t let you go, baby,” he whispers, resting his lips against your forehead. 

His ears hear the faint sound of me, either, before your fingers wrap around his wrist, forcing his head to move back before your lips burn the reply against his.

Over, and over, again.

It begins tender, warm—tinged with other words he’s not sure he’s meant to hear—before it moves to something that burns. Your touch is like flames, leaving marks against him he never wants to vanish or be rid of. It grows messy, his tongue licking into your mouth as the pizza lays forgotten as you move into his lap. 

Thighs on either side, fingers in his hair as he grabs your waist tight, pinning you close, until he makes you stand. 

Then the bed is dipping, the sheets crinkling, and he has you close to him. His name falls from your lips as he whispers yours, the two names merging together—blending, just as the two of you are. His fingers spanning your hip, keeping you flush with him, nails in his hair.

Then he hears it, breathy and right up against his ear. 

Mine. 

His head pulls back, eyes staring into yours. “Todo mío.”

if you haven't already, please check out this gorgeous piece that was gifted to me by @ghostaholics 🩵 for this reason, this chapter, the many dates and the way they're falling, is dedicated all to you, G.

#javier peña x reader #javi peña x reader #javi peña x you #javier peña x you #narcos x reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javi pena x reader #narcos javier x reader #narcos javier #pedro pascal x reader #narcos fanfiction #pedrostories #mm: late night texts #javier peña fanfiction

[tojiluv]

EYES DON'T LIE — choso kamo [chapter six]

description: in which a girl unwittingly becomes involved with a handsome stranger in a club, oblivious to his true identity of being in a famous boyband… OR in which you and Choso must conceal your secret meetings from your friends and his bandmates, especially from his younger brother and your best friend, Yuji.

warnings: mature language. fem! reader.

note: long chapter! might get busy within the next few weeks so updates will vary!

Tonight was movie night and Yuji invited you, Megumi, and Nobara to chill at his house since most of you didn't have any classes until tomorrow evening. You were all huddled in the living room, the TV displaying the horror film that Nobara suggested (mostly because she wanted Yuji to get scared).

You and Megumi were sitting on the couch as Nobara occupied the loveseat while Yuji sat on the floor, closest to the screen, which wasn't the smartest move for him.

"Tell me why'd you pick this one again?" Megumi complained, eyeing the ginger-haired girl with narrow eyes.

She snickered, a smirk rising on her pink lips. "You'll see soon enough."

"I wanted to re-watch Human Earthworm, this one looks lameee," Your best friend complains, lying down on the floor with his hand holding up his head.

"If you don't wanna watch it then get out!"

"Hey, this is my house if you didn't realize."

"Uh, I believe it belongs to your brother, smartass!"

You giggled at their bickering, realizing that Nobara was somewhat right since the house was in his brother's name. Choso Kamo. You felt odd even thinking about him due to the small secret that you're keeping from everyone.

Megumi rolled his eyes, leaning back against the couch with an arm lying behind your head as he waited for someone to play the damn movie. You grabbed the remote, stepping in between your two friends who continued to jab insults at one another.

"Alright, you two. Let's just watch this one and maybe another day, we can watch Human Earthworm, okay?" You looked between the pair, hands on your waist like a mother scolding her children as you tried to compromise the situation.

Yuji and Nobara crossed their arms, looking away from one another, huffing.

"Fine by me."

"I don't agree, but sure."

You smiled. Such children.

Pressing the play button, you sat back down and watched the movie begin, keeping your eyes on the screen while moving closer to your dark-haired friend, who was still bored.

You leaned over to whisper, "If I get scared, I'm jumping on you to cover me."

Megumi turned his head, brows raised as he looked at you like you were crazy. "I rather you didn't."

"Too bad, you sat down beside me today. Yuji usually keeps me company for these types of movies," You shrugged, not caring for his approval as he knew you get jumpy from scary things.

He scoffed, shaking his head before shifting a bit over to the end of the sofa in case you did fling at him to be a shield. Like that would stop you from trying. The first few minutes of the movie were rolling, introducing the characters as you watched in interest until Yuji spoke up loudly.

"Oi, Choso! Can you turn the lights off for us?"

Your body slightly tensed up, not realizing that the person you've been avoiding would be in his own home today. You glanced to the side, seeing the male come down the stairs with a black tight shirt and gray sweatpants on, his hair no longer in his usual style as it was rather down on his shoulders.

No longer paying attention to the movie, your eyes trained on the male, eyeing his movements and the way he looked so appealing to you in his outfit.

He just had to come down in that combo, you mused inwardly. Curse the gray sweatpants theory.

Choso moved towards the switch, turning the lights off as he waved to everyone in greeting before glancing at you quickly, already seeing your eyes trained on him.

You could see his lips twitch into a grin in the low lighting, probably out of amusement from catching you staring at him out in the open with your friends and his brother.

"What's playing?" He asked, directing the question to his little brother as his eyes cut contact with you, making sure nobody caught the both of you.

You shifted your head back to the screen quickly, face burning as he caught you ogling for god knows how long. You could tell that Nobara and Yuji didn't see anything since their backs were facing you but you didn't think about the other. From the corner of your eye, Megumi tilted his head with a puzzled expression as he wondered what that whole exchange was about.

You messed up.

"Ahhh, I don't even know anymore. Kugaski put it on," Yuji shrugged lazily, eyes still trained on the screen as the movie began its first act of horror.

"Wanna watch it with us?" Nobara asked, inviting the male to join.

Choso shook his head, not really interested in watching. "Nah, I'm good. I'll just be in the kitchen."

You didn't glance his way as he left the room, eyes zeroing on the screen yet your ears couldn't focus on the sound due to your heart beating fast from your little interaction. It didn't feel awkward after finding out you hooked up, rather felt like there was some unresolved tension between the both of you.

And you didn't know if you wanted to cross that bridge to find out.

You didn't understand what you were feeling, knowing that even attempting to get close to the guy would make you face more consequences, especially with your best friend. Even with that, Megumi kept burning holes in the side of your head whenever he glanced your way, causing you to fidget in your seat.

Megumi was smart... too smart for your liking right now.

"I should probably get some snacks for us," Yuji stated, moving to stand up from his position until Megumi spoke up and mentioned you.

"Didn't you want to grab a drink too? Maybe you could go get the snacks since you don't really like watching the scary parts, right?" He proclaimed, overly concerned for your well-being all of a sudden.

You narrowed your eyes at the male, knowing what he was up to. He wanted to test his theory of the interaction between you and Choso, backing you up into a corner without a say in the matter of going to the kitchen without a reasonable excuse.

"Well, actually I'm okay —"

"I don't really wanna miss too much of the movie, you know where the snacks are, right?" Yuji interrupts you from denying the request, leaving you to see his puppy dogs pleading with you to get it. "Pleaseeee?"

You sighed, not wanting to say no to his face, especially already feeling like you had a debt to repay him for hiding a big secret. "Fine."

Yuji grinned widely. "Thank you bestie, you're the best!"

"Mhm, I know."

Getting off the couch, not without flicking Megumi in the forehead a bit hard for his involvement, you walked towards the brightly lit kitchen where the person you dreaded to face directly.

As you entered quietly, you could see Choso's back facing you as he leaned against the counter while scrolling on his phone and eating a few grapes.

You cleared your throat, grabbing his attention as he jumped slightly before turning in your direction. His brows raised as he looked at you, surprised to see you come by alone, while you just opted for an awkward smile as you pointed to one of the cabinets.

"Sorry, we just wanted some snacks..." You voiced quietly, the nerves reaching up your throat causing you to become too shy in front of the male.

Choso broke his stare, clearing his throat before nodding, "Ah, yeah, go ahead."

You nodded, lips pressed in a thin line before moving towards the other side of the kitchen. You knew where the snacks were since you came to the house almost daily, basically becoming your second home.

As you took some chocolates and chips from the cupboard, you swear you could feel eyes targeting your movements, knowing Choso was watching.

The kitchen was silent, the muffled sounds of television playing in the background with Yuji whimpering quietly while Nobara giggled. That twisted girl. It was a bit funny but you wouldn't admit that to your friend.

"You know your way around here, huh?" Choso voiced, breaking your thoughts as you didn't expect him to start a conversation, let alone with you.

You turned your head, shyly nodding. Gosh, when have you ever been this shy before? "Ah, yeah. I come over a lot to chill with Yuji, hence how I know where everything will be..."

He nodded, taking note of your comment before sipping his drink as you turned back around to your task. The tension was thick in the room, the heavy secret lingering between you was dreadful as you pretended nothing ever happened.

I'm gonna kill Megumi for this.

You cleared your throat, trying to diffuse the tension. "Uh, got any plans this week?"

Back still turned, you didn't have the guts to face him directly when speaking as you knew you might become flustered or trip on something.

"Only some band stuff, nothing too important." Choso voiced as you hummed in response, not really knowing what to say. You prepared the snack bowls while the only thing left to complete was the popcorn.

You heard Nobara shout out for you from the living room. "You almost done?!"

"Give me a few minutes!"

Laying the popcorn bag in the microwave and pushing the button, you turned to the fridge to obtain a few drinks for the group before placing it in the tray with the other snacks.

"How about you, any plans?" The male asked, eyeing the way you neatly placed the items while having a small satisfied smile on your face as you organized everything.

He snickered inwardly at the sight. Cute.

You turned in his direction before shaking your head, "Uh, not really. Too busy with my program right now."

Choso hummed, leaning more forward on the counter to listen. "What's your program?"

You mentioned what it was, stating the career path that you chose for the upcoming future. While speaking, you slightly got a bit more confident as you both talked to one another normally, the previous situation not lingering in your head at the moment.

Choso looked interested in what career you wanted to pursue, looking impressed at the amount of work you were dedicating yourself to. "Sounds pretty rough, are you sure you're all good up there?" He motions to his head, referencing if you have gone crazy yet from the amount of work.

You giggled quietly. "Yeah, no need to worry."

He shrugged, yet a playful grin exposed him. "Just making sure, don't want Yuji to become a victim with one of your breakdowns."

He could see you rolling your eyes from his lame joke but there was still a grin on your face, meaning he was getting on your good side. Choso already knew a bit about yourself from that time at the club and when you both arrived at your apartment before you did... that.

The microwave beeped meaning the popcorn finished as you retrieved the bag before opening the steaming snack to pour into the bowl. You knew Yuji liked his popcorn with cheddar as you glanced around the kitchen for the powder before opening one of the cabinets to see it almost near the top shelf.

Of course, Yuji placed it there. That dumbo.

You weren't exactly too short but weren't too tall, thus causing you to lean up on your tippy toes to reach the item as you could feel your cropped shirt rising, exposing your back from the amount of stretching. Barely grazing the item, you were about to give up on the damn thing until you felt something graze your back along with a hand brushing past your own to retrieve it.

Your eyes widened, breathing still for a second as you could feel his presence with his warm chest pressed behind you before he placed the item in front of your line of vision.

"Could've asked for my help, you know," Choso mumbled, his voice sounding closer than before as his breath hit your ear, causing you to shiver slightly from the rising tension.

Fuck, what's happening?

You turned your body around slightly, no longer feeling his back but rather facing him more directly this time, the closest you have been this whole night. You felt flustered from the minor distance, meeting his mischievous eyes with your baffled ones as you slowly grabbed the item out from his hand.

"I thought I could handle it..." You whispered, the nerves returning to hit you as a burning sensation felt present upon your ears and cheeks.

You were trapped between the counter and his body, no longer aware of anything besides the man who caught your undivided attention. You stared at one another with some hidden craving that was brewing to be exposed beneath your lidded eyes.

The scene felt familiar to both of you, causing Choso to lean a bit closer to test the waters.

"Is that a bet, pretty?"

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

He knew what he was doing and you knew what he was instigating. Those familiar words sparked a feeling within you that had your mind shouting to stop this from going any further, yet your body betrayed you.

You saw his eyes glance at your parted lips before shifting back to your hazy eyes. You didn't know what to do in this situation, realizing that you weren't exactly alone right now to be acting like this, nonetheless, to even do something again.

Yet, you responded to the same action by looking down at his moist lips before shifting back to his lustful stare.

"Maybe —"

A scream echoed out throughout the house.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!"

The trance you both were in broke immediately as you heard Yuji shout frightfully from the jump-scares in the living room. The moment you realize what you are about to do causes you to push Choso gently back before retrieving the snack tray quickly, avoiding his concerned eyes.

"I —"

Not having any more words to say, you bowed your head before rushing to the living room. Choso didn't stop you, yet you swore you heard him mumble your name as you ran off.

"Y/N, WHERE ARE THE SNACKS?!" Nobara shouted at the same time you arrived with everything, annoyance evident from the shouting.

"No need to yell, it's here!" Your voice wavered a bit as you placed the tray on the coffee table.

Yuji hummed happily, sending you a wink. "You're an angel, thank you!"

You curtly nodded your head, your thoughts and feelings were all over the place as you struggled to understand how you almost committed another situation with your best friend's older brother.

Sitting back down on the couch, your ginger-haired friend mentioned to you how Yuji almost cried from the jumpscares and how funny it was to witness it. The pink-haired male began to complain about it, stating that he just didn't expect a creature to jump out during a calm scene, making excuses for his high-pitched scream.

The cushion beside you sank a bit as Megumi moved closer, eyes full of questions. "Everything good?"

You nodded, brows furrowed. "Yeah, what's up?"

"The ceiling," You rolled your eyes at his literal answer, "but what I'm wondering is about you and Choso."

Your heart dropped, knowing Megumi was trying to figure out why you took so long in the kitchen for just a couple of snacks.

You shrugged nonchalantly. "What about him?"

He glanced towards your friend in the middle before lowering his tone as the movie continued to play loudly in the background. "Do you... have a crush on him or something?"

DING, DING, DING!

EVERYONE, WE MAY HAVE A WINNER!

NOW WHAT SHALL WE DO EVERYONE?

DENY, DENY, DENY!

You scoffed, immediately shaking your head. "No, no. You're getting the wrong idea, Gumi."

He tilted his head, green eyes narrowed at your poker face. "Am I? Then what is it? Cause I saw the way you were looking at him earlier."

You sighed. You knew your friend wouldn't drop it until you said something that satisfied his curiosity. "I was only staring 'cause he's... you know... pretty cute to look at."

Megumi scrunched up his face, wondering if that was really it and not what he originally thought. "That's it? Cause he's cute?"

You tsked, waving a finger in his face, "I said pretty cute, notice the difference?" He rolled his eyes, huffing at your tone as you slightly chuckled.

"Listen, don't tell Yuji I was thinking like that, he would just lecture about the whole thing." You mumbled, eyes shifting to your best friend with much warmth.

Megumi sighed and promised not to say a word. He agreed that Yuji would blow it out of proportion if he found out about your thoughts about his brother, just like how he did the same to Nobara a few days ago.

"Alright, I'll take that answer... for now. But why'd you take so long in the kitchen?" He pressed further again.

You shrugged, blatantly lying quickly with your tongue, "He was just asking me about school and how Yuji was doing while he was away, that's all."

"Really?"

"Yes, Gumi. Now shhh, watch the movie."

You waved him off, hoping that this would be the last time he'd be on your back about Choso. Megumi sighed before shifting back to his original spot on the couch. The tension in your shoulders loosened from the intense interrogation before focusing back on the film, even though you weren't that interested anymore.

Rather more focused on the tattooed male sitting in the next room over.

If Yuji hadn't shouted earlier, Choso would have probably kissed you from the way he was instantly staring at your lips. The way your bodies were a few inches apart from directly touching, leaning a bit further would've sealed the deal. If that interruption hadn't happened... you knew you would return the action without hesitation.

Do I have a crush on him? It feels wrong to have one, you glanced at Yuji with worry. But he just feels right for some reason.

"HOLY SHIT!"

"AHH!"

Another big jumpscare.

Nobara fell out of her seat, candy spilling on the floor while Yuji had another heart attack, a blanket suffocating his head to avoid the gore. While for you, the promise made to your gloomy friend earlier came true.

You jumped towards Megumi, hiding half your body behind his stiff back as you shook his arm to annoy him further. He gaped at your actions with annoyance, grunting at the amount of force you laid against him.

"I thought you were joking!"

"... IT'S GONE NOW, GET OFF!"

⇽ chapter five | chapter seven ⇾

© 𝐭𝐨𝐣𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐯 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

#🔮 oryluv #❥ — ❝ tojiluv ❞ #❥ — ❝ tojiluv ❞ eyes don’t lie #choso kamo #choso kamo fanfiction #choso kamo x you #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo x y/n #choso kamo smut #choso x you #choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen choso #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jjk x you #yuji itadori #nobara kugisaki #megumi fushiguro #choso smut #choso kamo x female reader #jjk choso #choso fluff #choso angst #jjk fluff #jjk au #jjk smut #jjk angst

[fauxdette]

Belong to You - Elain x Azriel

Part 1 • Part 2 🔥

Summary: Azriel says goodbye to Elain before leaving for some spyin’. She asks him about rejecting the mating bond.

Word count: 600

Warnings: None

Elain yelped, whipping her hand back and soothing the hurt between her lips.

“Yooouuu…” she scowled, shaking her shears at the rose that pricked her thumb; a small droplet of blood pooling on the already healed pad.

“Ahem.”

She pivoted toward the sound, surprised to find the shadowsinger shaded under a nearby tree; a playful smile on his usually unreadable face.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“Oh, you weren’t—“ she shook her head sheepishly. “I don’t usually talk to flowers.”

“Just the ones that wound you?”

“That one had it coming.”

Azriel laughed, joyous and full. Elain grinned at the sound of it.

“Have you come to help?” She asked, gesturing to the blooming flowerbed before her.

Half had already been weeded and pruned but she estimated there was still an hour or two of work ahead of her.

Azriel shook his head. “I’ve just come to say I’m leaving tomorrow. Rhys has asked me to keep an eye on the human queens, see if I can find any stirring of what they might be up to.”

Elain noted he’d slipped that cool mask of indifference over his features again.

“How long will you be gone for?”

“Hard to say,” he looked toward the Sidra glittering in the distance. “I’ll be lodging with Jurian and Lucien while I’m there.”

Lucien. Something made her back stiffen, whether it was the name itself or the way Azriel said it, Elain wasn’t sure. There was an undertone there; an aftertaste. Some secret meaning she couldn’t decipher.

The Illyrian shifted on his feet a little, let the silence stretch before them before he added, “if there’s anything you needed me to pass on for you…”

Ah. Understanding settled on her like a wet blanket; heavy and uncomfortable. He wasn’t coming to say goodbye due to any measure of affection but to ask if she wanted to speak to Lucien; the High Lords son, the human emissary, her mate.

“No,” she replied sharply. “So, I suppose we’re done here. Travel safe, I— I’ll see you when you get back,” she turned back toward the garden, waiting for him to winnow away.

Instead she felt him fall in line next to her, his leather-clad arm brushing her bare skin.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t even know him,” it was all she could think to say.

Azriel merely nodded.

She studied his face then. With the distance closed between them every elegant angle was visible; the fullness of his lips, the way his hair— longer than she’d seen it before— fell, almost touching the long curve of his dark eyelashes.

“If you found your mate in someone you had no… desire for. What would you do?”

Those hazel eyes were churning, thinking.

“I see my brothers, what they have, and I wonder if anything other than the bond can live up to that,” he said eventually, offering every word slowly. “But. I know plenty of matches where that hasn’t been the case. And I hope an individuals heart would steer them more true than some magical pot; as ancient and powerful as it is.”

It was a kindness he imparted to her with those words; recognition towards how she felt. Maybe it was that kindness that made her ask, “If you were Lucien and I rejected our bond, could you let me go? Allow me to follow my own heart?”

She heard him suck in a breath as he tore his eyes away from the horizon to look at her.

“If I had a mate that didn’t want me, I hope that I cared enough to let her have agency over her own life. Regardless of my part in it.”

Elain nodded, feeling herself relax.

A pause, “But if you were my mate, Elain,” She looked up at him, into those cryptic eyes. “I don’t think I could ever let it go— I think my heart would belong to you forever.”

#elriel #azriel x elain #elriel fanfic #elain x azriel

[toji-girl]

missin' you | k. bakugo

repost + fem reader + fluff

During the midst of a very busy day, Katsuki comes back to his office to find you curled up on his leather couch tucked under an old blanket he's teased you about having before. 

Your head cradled by one of the pillows that smelled so much like him, your eyes shut lulled into a deep sleep. He watched in the doorway for several moments before stepping in to shut the door. 

Usually, he was a loud man but this time he was careful in the way he walked over to his desk knowing he had to get these papers to his PR manager but instead, he found himself joining you on the couch. 

Gently he moved your head from the pillow to his lap so he could stroke your back letting his head rest against the soft leather, his eyes fluttering shut soon joining you in the throes of sleep.

Lately, between yours and his schedule, it's been hard to really connect, maybe sharing a meal before falling into bed, even then the other side of the bed was empty due to opposite shifts. 

Not even two hours later you woke to the soft snoring of your husband who was now completely relaxed, his legs spread wide and open while still wearing his full hero uniform. 

"Katsuki?" You murmured, voice still clogged with sleep. Your eyes felt heavy as you pried them open to reach up to stroke his cheek, the soft touch did nothing but make him turn his head a little more. 

Again you tried his name and sat up rubbing your eyes before gazing over at your husband who was now waking up with a deep groan, he must have realized that he fell asleep too. 

He sat up ramrod straight looking at his watch. "Shit, I was only wanting to sleep for twenty minutes." He grumbled scrubbing at his face before meeting your eyes before Katsuki tugged you in his lap. 

"I didn't even hear you come in, I was only supposed to nap for about forty minutes. I miss this, how has your day been?" You asked. 

Katsuki grunted his response knowing it was going to be a nightmare after this, but it must mean someone peeked in the window seeing him and you curled up together asleep and didn't want to disturb. 

You're the only person who ever gets to see Dynamight in such a state, he buried his face between your neck and shoulder keeping you tucked in his lap. "It's been shit and now it's going to get shitter." 

Both of you sighed together knowing that tonight was going to be nothing but a repeat of missing dinner and sleeping in the same bed. 

His lips slowly made their way to yours pecking them before pulling away to help you stand. "Let's just go home, I'm not staying here any longer when I want to be home with my wife." 

You couldn't help but smile wide and hug him tightly. "Good, I miss having you next to me in bed, and we both have tomorrow off." 

"And that means we can stay under the covers all day then, make sure you hydrate for the marathon that's about to happen," Katsuki replied grabbing a handful of your ass with a smirk.

#katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha #mha x reader #katsuki x reader #Katsuki fluff #Katsuki x you #Katsuki Bakugo x reader #my hero x reader

[gumnut-logic]

John found him in module two.

His second eldest brother was sitting beside the pod, pieces of it spread around him, staring at nothing.

John leant against the hatchway and quietly watched him. From the moment Grandma had reported the avalanche, John knew he would have to come home tonight. Avalanche rescues always messed with the family, particularly Scott and Virgil. He would be lying if he said they didn’t affect him, but he wasn’t boots on ground. He didn’t have to watch that wave of white bearing down on those he loved.

He hadn’t been the one there on that fateful day.

Virgil wore a frown as if he was glaring at something or someone John couldn’t see.

John had already checked in on Scott...on the other side of the Island and still moving. He’d be out running for a while and likely would come back and give the gym a work out.

Virgil was more subtle. He tended to pound the piano or vanish into his studio. On the rare occasion he could be found beside Scott either pummelling a sandbag or his brother on the spar mat. To find him here was a little odd.

“I’m okay, John.” Those eyes were suddenly fixed on the astronaut. “How’s Gordon?”

He pushed himself off the hatchway and entered the module. His spacesuited feet hardly made a sound. “He’s as well as can be expected. He’s with Alan.” A few more silent footsteps and John sat down quietly beside his brother. “What are you doing?”

His brother reached down and picked up a piece of pod mechanics. “Just checking the system after today’s rescue.”

John eyed exactly what Virgil had pulled apart. He was pretty sure it was the side of the module that hadn’t been used...and the same he and Scott had finished maintenance on that morning.

Busywork?

“I’m okay, John. You don’t need to worry.”

“Worry is my business.”

Brown eyes glanced up at him. “I thought that was in Scott’s portfolio.”

“Different perspective.”

Virgil arched an eyebrow before picking up another piece of pod and shoving it into the storage case. Several more pieces followed with no further attempt at conversation.

“Alan said you were grumpy for most of the day.”

That did it. His usually quiet brother flared up like a snake prodded with a hot poker. “He did, did he? Did he also tell you that he has turned Max into his personal slave so he can sit on his butt and watch videos while the rest of us work our asses off?”

“Not in so many words, no.” Calm and considered.

It succeeded. Virgil deflated. “No, he wouldn’t.” His brother returned to shifting around mechanical parts.

“How is Scott?”

His brother froze. “How do you think he is. Alan was nearly buried in an avalanche. I expect to be repairing gym equipment tomorrow.” Virgil stood up and put his back into moving the equipment into the locker.

“No one was injured. We’re all safe.”

“Yes, we are.” A chunk of pod landed on the module floor with a massive clang and Virgil swore.

Reaching down, John picked up the piece of machinery and, standing, held it out to his brother. Virgil looked at him with sad eyes. “Thank you.” It was taken from his hand and stashed beside its siblings.

“Gordon was very impressed.”

Virgil paused a moment, but then returned to shifting equipment. “With what?”

“With you.”

That was enough to stop him. “Gordon?”

John struggled to hold back a smile. “In his words...’Oh my god, yeeeah! Go Virg!’”

Virgil blinked at him and John could no longer hold back the grin. “Can’t say I wasn’t impressed myself.”

He watched his brother fight the urge to smile. “The new grapple gun performed well.”

John rolled his eyes. “You performed well, Virgil. There is no harm in taking credit where it is due.”

“I’m just glad I got Alan off the side of that mountain.” And the glum was back.

John sighed to himself as Virgil shut the equipment locker. “What is it, Virgil? What’s bugging you? Because all I can see is a successful rescue with a great outcome.”

His brother rounded on him. “It was pure chance, John. So damn close and it shouldn’t have been!” Virgil’s eyes flared at him in anger, but not at John, but...

At himself.

“How?”

Virgil’s brows knotted even more. “I knew that mountain was coming down. I had sensors on it. I was sitting there waiting with nothing else to do but stare at the damn thing, and it still caught me by surprise!” Virgil shoved the locker against the wall with a bang. John blinked at the strength his brother wielded. “There shouldn’t have been a dramatic rescue, I should have been there already!” Virgil turned away. “Alan and Brandon could have died because I wasn’t on the ball.”

John stared at him. “You’re kidding, right?”

The glare Virgil shot him was enough to flay him alive. “Do I look like I have a sense of humour right now?”

“Virgil-“

But his brother wasn’t finished. “We can have all the equipment in the world and it won’t mean jack shit if I’m not good enough to deploy it in time.”

“Virgil-“

“And Alan. We could have lost Alan. I-I can’t...not like Mom, please not like Mom.”

John’s eyes widened. “Virgil, take a breath. He’s okay. We’re all okay.”

Brown eyes stared up at him. “I fucked up so bad.”

John reached over and took his brother by his shoulders. “Virgil! How can you possibly say that? Did you see what you did?”

“I saw exactly what I did. Why wasn’t I airborne sooner? Why did I wait until the vibration sensor was in MOTION before making a move? It was seconds, John, seconds. I didn’t think I was going to make it. They could have been buried alive.” Like Mom.

That last might as well have been shouted with the rest.

“But they weren’t”

“Pure luck.”

“No! Virgil Tracy! You were on the scene. You were there. There was no way anything was going to happen to either of them with you in play, Virgil. You know this. I know this. I have seen you face far more than a falling mountain. It didn’t stand a chance.”

“John-“

“You listen to me. I know you. I watch you day in and day out. I may be twenty-two thousand kilometres away, but I am with you every step every rescue and, goddamnit, Virgil, those seconds may well have been hours for all they mattered.” He glared at his brother. “How many times have you sat back in a situation, watching, only to step in and save the day when it most counts? You sit there quietly, calculating, planning, knowing exactly when to intervene. You are our rock, Virgil. Solid, dependable and inevitable. And god forbid anything gets in your way once you get moving.”

John’s lips were tight and his heart thudding. Virgil stood staring at him, eyes wide.

Quietly. “When I’m so far above and someone is screaming, you are the hands I reach out to catch them with. I trust those hands with so many lives, Virgil. So many people calling for help and I have no need for faith because I KNOW you will do everything you can. Just like you did today.” A breath. “Don’t doubt yourself. I never have.”

He let his brother go and straightened.

Virgil was still staring at him. It wasn’t often John put so much into words, but the self-doubt in his brother’s eyes just demanded it. Perhaps it would have enough impact to sink in.

In the meantime, back to basics.

“Have you eaten?”

Virgil blinked. “What?”

Obviously not.

“Food, Virgil. Fuel for your engine.”

“Oh, uh...”

“I didn’t think so. C’mon, big brother, sustenance will help change your perspective.” John grabbed Virgil’s arm and nudged him in the direction of the module hatchway. Still staring, Virgil did as he was told.

“I’m the big brother, John.”

“Yeah? Well, sometimes big brothers need corralling as much as younger brothers. I thought you’d understand that with Scott on your radar so much.”

Virgil blinked. “I see your point.”

John held onto Virgil the entire elevator ride up to the residential levels. He didn’t let go until his brother was seated at the kitchen table. The acquisition of a simple sandwich and John plopped both the food and himself down in front of Virgil. “Now eat.”

“Are you going to watch my every bite?” A definite frown was forming like a storm cell on his brother’s brow.

“No, I’m just going to sit here and enjoy your company.” A thought. “Might even have a beer. You want one?” He stood up again and rummaged in the fridge.

Another blink. “Aren’t you going back up tonight? Doesn’t Brains need you?”

“No, I have more important things to attend to down here.” Ooh, some of Scott’s boutique beer. He eyed the label. Expensive boutique beer. It would do the job. Two bottles landed on the table.

“You know they are Scott’s.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Your funeral, I guess.”

“He’ll survive. Eat your sandwich.”

Virgil was staring at him again.

John sighed. “Is it really so shocking that I care about you?”

“No! It’s just...” Virgil’s shoulders settled a little. “Thank you, John.”

“No thanks needed, just trust yourself a little more.” He pinned his brother with his eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good. Now eat your sandwich.”

John held back a smile when Virgil immediately bit into his bread.

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #john tracy #virgil tracy #episode tag #avalanche #nuttyfic reblog #tried to write #failed #used all my energy stitching today

[fuck-customers]

Ok you uppity ass bitch, maybe you should fucking be open and communicative with your fucking coworkers and then none of them would feel the need to speculate about what is going on at THEIR OWN GODDAMN JOB!

So for months, the hours have been very, very low at my company. Just recently it was announced that the company filed for bankruptcy.

The only reason that any of us employees know about this is because a lead stuck her neck out and informed us.

And apparently, that lead no longer works at the company. Suspicious much? I honestly don't know (because we are never given information, but this one is personal info about a former employee, so I understand) whether she let us know on her last day after giving notice or if she was fired after informing us or what.

I would like to reiterate that ALL of the information we've been provided with has been from that now ex-employee and from whatever info we could fine online ourselves. Not a single manager has so much has said a peep to us about any of it and are just acting like everything is the same as it always was.

Anyway.

We all got a notification that the lead, A, has left the group chat.

A few coworkers asked why she left. Valid enough question. Another coworker said she and another employee quit. And another employee speculated that it may be due to the bankruptcy. And then the conversation quickly changed to someone asking if anyone can cover their shift and someone else agreeing and more switching shifts, etc.

10 minutes AFTER the conversation had moved onto other work-related topics, this upper lead, B (sorry, I forgot what the actual position is called. She's one level under the Assistant Store Manager. And the B stand for Bigassfuckingbitch) hops on after NEVER, EVER participating in the group chat in the 3 months since it was formed, to talk down to us and lecture us about speculating about what was going on at OUR OWN GODDAMN JOB

"There's a lot that you guys don't know and shouldn't be speculating about. Let's respect everyone and their choice not to speak about it to the group." WELL MAYBE YOU FUCKING USELESS MANAGERS SHOULD KEEP YOUR EMPLOYEES INFORMED ABOUT THEIR OWN GODDAMN JOB!

I agree, we do not need to gossip about why A left the company. That is her own private business. But those of us that are still left have the right to know what is going on in the company and if/how it will impact our job. The company is bankrupt. We're not gossiping about someone's marriage or some shit. We're wondering wtf is going on with our jobs. Wil we still have jobs tomorrow? Or next week? Next month?

Posted by admin Rodney.

[lots-of-pockets]

I love everything about you.

Pairings: Scarlett x you

Words: 651

Warnings: none

Summary: scarlett loves everything about you, and she’s determined to show it

You couldn’t help but smile softly when you feel a familiar pair of arms settle around your waist, the smell of Scarletts oh so soothing perfume creeping up your nose. You’d spent the entire day by yourself due to the fact she’d been at the outset office all day. But you didn’t mind so much. You’d actually found yourself being quite productive. You’d vacuumed, mopped, stripped the bed, all the while having a dance party with your favourite playlist.

You’d wanted the apartment to look good for tomorrow, because Scarlett had taken the day off and you were planning on having a date day. (You’d be in bed for most of it you were sure, but you still thought it was appropriate to make the effort.)

After turning down the heat on the stir fry you’d spent the last hour cooking, you somewhat awkwardly turn around in her embrace and wrap your own arms around her shoulders.

“Hi baby,” she murmurs as she rests her head against your chest, hands creeping up your shirt to rest on the small of your back. You press a tender kiss to her hair before quietly returning the sentiment.

“How was work?” You ask after a few seconds of comfortable silence, feeling the warm breath Scarlett releases through her nose hit the skin of your neck.

“Long,” she murmurs, “but productive.”

“I’m glad,” you smile as you awkwardly reach behind you to take dinner off of the stove. Scarlett whines softly as you attempt to shift her out of your arms, and you roll your eyes fondly as you return your arms around her.

“Why so clingy?” You tease fondly as you rock her side to side.

“When I have my head on your chest, I can hear your heartbeat.” She explains herself as you begin to comb your fingers through her short tresses. “It’s beautiful.” She adds as an afterthought, and you couldn’t help but flush slightly at her brutal honesty as you give her warm body a squeeze.

“Someone’s tired,” you murmur fondly as you finally manage to pull her head away from your chest. You bring your hands up to cup her cheeks before trailing the pads of her thumbs over the soft skin.

Scarlett stares up at you with droopy eyes only furthering your point, and you smile softly as you lean in to place a gentle peck to her nose. She scrunches it up cutely before continuing to talk.

“You have a nice voice too. It’s soothing.” She continues like she hadn’t heard you, “I love everything about you. Your smile. Your eyes. Your legs. Especially your as-” you immediately cut her off by placing your hand over her mouth, and you could feel her smile at the blush you were sure was now covering the entirety of your face.

“Go get into the shower,” you laugh slightly as you gently push her away from you, and Scarlett grins sleepily as she finally shrugs off her coat before leaving the room. You distinctly hear the sound of the shower turning on as you begin to dish up dinner, placing both plates down onto the dining table along with a glass of water.

Due to the fact you and Scarlett had showered together this morning and she’d asked you to wash her hair for her, you knew she wouldn’t be any longer than a few minutes. And your intuition was correct.

No more than ten minutes had passed before Scarlett makes a reappearance adorned in one of your hoodies and a pair of comfortable cotton shorts. She sends you a soft smile as she enters the room, and you of course return it as you pull out a chair for her.

“Thanks baby.” She murmurs as she instantly reaches for her water, and you smile as you kiss the top of her head before sitting down yourself.

“You’re welcome, my love.”

**

Thank you for the request!!

#scarlett johansson x reader #scarlett johansson #reader insert #tooth rotting fluff #black widow #the outset #x reader

[blue-sadie]

Stop Your Breath

Kane x Friend Reader

Summary: somethings changed his changed and you don't know if it's for the better

Warning: choking, tied up, breeding, marking

Yn/3rd person pov

I descend from the top of the stairs slowly holding my up graded bass ball bat the end of it covered in nails, my eyes were locked on the rattling door noob, stepping closer to it and raising the bat up to swing as the door opened.

"Its me" I stop mid swing as I heard him shout "fuck kane I almost killed you" I squealed and dropped the bat he looked between me and the bat and pointed at it "halloween" he asked with a bit of tease in his voice as he grinned.

"Still a killing machine though" I huffed slightly and walked into his arms hugging him tightly "what are you doing here" I murmured and pulled back a little so I could see his face.

His grinned fultered for a split second and his eyes glossed with tears "is everything ok" I asked my voice wavering with concern he bit his lip and looked down to the ground shaking his head.

"She cheated" he whispered so softly I almost couldn't hear it "w-what" I had to ask again just so I can make sure I heard him right, "she.... she cheated on me" his breathing became shallow as silent tears ran down his face.

I used one of my hands to urge him to look at me "it's ok to cry kane" I murmured he always had the tendency to bottle up his emotions due to his training.

He leaned into my hand and bit his lip and closed his eyes tightly his body began to shake from his crys "I-I'm supposed to be leaving tomorrow" his sobs echoed through the hallway.

I shushed him gently and hugged him more tighter then I ever have before "it's going to be ok" I reassured even though my heart hurt so much.

"Your going to be ok" I whispered and gently urged him to the couch were we lay in the comfort of eachothers arms, my hands drawing little patterns on his arms as I listened to his heart beat.

His crys of pain made my heart ache but I didn’t know what to say or do, I've only ever see him cry a couple times, "why doesn't she love me".

I wanted to say so many things but I couldn't form the words I couldn't let my feelings get the better of me, I just stayed silent listening to all of his pain it killed me.

"Am I not worth loving" my eyes snapped to look at him and he was already looking at him his filled with sorrow and helplessness, his dark curls framing his face perfectly.

I let my walls break as I adjusted myself fully to look at him "you deserve everything the world has to offer kane and I hate that you can't see that, you risk your life everyday saving alot of people" I paused taking a deep breath in.

"There's a lot of people that love you it doesn't matter if she doesn't she didn't deserve you" tears of my own started falling down my cheeks "you don't deserve this" I whispered.

"You deserve someone who treats you right someone that can handle you at your best and worse" I murmured intertwining one of our hands together.

He smiled softly and leaned up to me his hand gently caressing my cheek "I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner" he said softly before gently pushing his lips to mine I whined softly as he pulled away.

"I deserve so much better" he smiled his eyes no longer filled with sadness he pecked my lips once again and shifted so we were both laying comfortably in eachothers arms, we sat in silence just enjoying eachothers company.

I let out a tired yawn and I felt him shift underneath me "it's ok lets just sleep" he murmured seeing my tiredness.

My eyes slowly drifted shut and I released some soft murmurs I'd hope he'd hear "please come back to me" before drifting to sleep.

"Of course I will" he whispered to your sleeping and gently kissed your temple and falling asleep himself, he was long gone when you woke up but you snuggled in further to were he lay because his scent lingered "come back to me please".

Time skip

It's been 14 months since kane's left my heart aches worst with each passing day the thought of him not returning makes my fists clench I should've tried to make him stay convince him to stay with me.

It takes longer for me to fall asleep nowadays most of the time I'm sitting on my windowsill hoping to see his car round the corner or keep my phone fully charged with full volume notifications.

"Goodnight kane" I whispered to myself and slowly drag my tired self to my unmade bed I lazily covered myself as I got in.

My eyes slowly flattered shut as I snuggled into the pillows "I miss you" I murmured and yawned tiredly slowly drifting to sleep letting my mind disappear into the land of dreams.

Your soft snores covered the sound of your door being unlocked and the soft padding of foots the man you have been hoping for has returned but your sleeping figure went unfazed.

He didn't know why he came here instead of going home, to his wife he didn't feel the need to he felt the longing that the man before him felt kane wanted you he needed you.

His dull lifeless eyes stared down at your sleeping figure not knowing what to do must he wake you or leave you asleep and just leave but his body didn't want to move so he just stood there.

I groaned slowly stirring from my sleep the feeling of uneasiness waking me I sleepily reached over to my bed side table turning on my lights.

I didn't notice the man infront of me in till I opened my eyes after rubbing them "fuck" I scream and threw one of my pillows at the intruder but he went unfazed.

"K-kane" I murmured unsure unsurely and rubbed my eyes again to make sure I wasn't dreaming "kane" I yelled out and threw myself into his arms hugging him tightly.

"I missed you" I whispered as a few happy tears escaped my eyes, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and leaning his head into the crook of my neck inhaling my scent "i-i missed you to" he didn't sound so sure.

I pulled back "what happened" I murmured looking into his eyes but they weren't like I remember they looked lifeless and dull "why aren't you st home" he didn't answer my questions and just continued to stare at me in silence.

"Kane answer me" I was worried for him, I gently raised my hand to caress his cheek he stiffened under my touch he quickly grabbed my hand that was by his face and brought it to his mouth and kissed my wrist.

"I need you" he whispered his eyes darkening as he dragged his gaze up and down my body my body shivered in anticipation and my cheeks felt flushed, I took in a shaking breath.

"I-i need you to" I stammered moving my hands to wrap around his neck and leaned up onto my tippy toes pressing my lips to his in a passionate kiss.

His hands planted themselves onto my hips pulling me into him I gasped against his lips feeling his erection he this to his advantage and deepened the kiss more making my knees buckle.

He slowly moved me back onto the bed and slowly took off his shirt maintaining eye contact me, my breath hitched as I gazed upon his body small scars and cuts littered his chest.

"Take off your clothes" he said sternly as he slowly undid his belt I nodded submissively and slipped off my clothes, he quickly took off his pants leaving him in his boxers.

My mouth watered as I noticed the big bulge of his cock, he slowly claimed onto the bed and straddled me with the belt in his hands "hands up" he muttered I nervously gave him my hands.

He wrapped his belt around them and tied them to the headboard sighing out a shakey breathe as he did so he slowly let his hands graze down my arms to my shoulders down to my breast giving them a slight squeeze making me whine out.

A lustful glint appeared in his eyes and pulled his hands away from me, I watched intently as he started to touch himself his hands slowly inching their way to his boxers and painfully slow he pulled out his cock.

"I hope your ready for me" he said and leaned down on his arms and attached his lips to my neck, his body caging me down "f-fuck I am I am" i whined slightly lifting my hips to feel his cock against me.

He let out a deep growl and moved one of his hands grabbing his cock giving it a few jerks before moving it closer to my core, he ran the tip up and down my slight my body trembled slightly.

"Please kane" I whispered gently tugging at my restraints he smirked against my skin and gently pushed in, we both moaned in pleasure my muscles spasming as he split me open.

"Fuck" I moaned throwing my head back into the pillow I felt him adjusting himself and I gasped as I felt him wrap a hand around my throat squeezing ever so slightly "k-kane" I stammered.

He didn't answer instead he started to thrust in and out letting out small groans and grunts as he slowly started quickening his pace, the hand his has on my neck slightly spasming every few seconds.

My breath hitched everytime he thrusted into me and my eyes rolled back in pleasure so many thoughts were running through my mind this doesn't seem like kane, he wouldn't act like this but I just don't care.

"Please kane" I moaned and wrapped my legs around his waist he grunted in response and hardened his thrusts I could swear I head my bedframe crack.

My moans heightened as I felt a knot form in my stomach and kanes cock started to pulse he didn't show any signs of pulling out or stopping which drove me crazy.

"C-cum inside me.... please" I begged desperately it only took us a few more thrusts before we both climaxed making us both cry out, kane slowed his thrusts panting and kissed my forehead loving as he gently pulled out.

He quickly undid my restraints but I still couldn't move my body was tired even though I didn't do anything, I watched him with half lidded eyes as he climbed off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom, I dizzily looked to the right to see my mirror and noticed the dark marks along my neck.

He cleared his throat as he re-entered the room and I slowly looked to him, he sat down on the bed and gently started cleaning my core with a wet cloth his eyes dragging themselves up and down my body only stopping when we looked eyes.

"Rest now"

Tag.List

@neteyamyawne @greekgods15 @sweetirilly

#annihilation #annihilation x reader #annihilation smut #annihilation x reader smut #annihilation kane #annihilation kane smut #annihilation kane x reader #annihilation kane x reader smut #oscar isaac #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac x reader smut #movie characters x reader

[buckttommy]

Buck and Eddie were exes at the time of his injury/coma.

Buck misses Eddie. It's a frustrating thing to miss someone who's right in front of you, but he does. There's a distance there that he can't place, an uncrossable chasm that seems like it only gets wider and wider every day. They're still friends, or at least they're supposed to be, but Eddie looks at him like he's already a ghost; like whatever version of him was brought back from the brink of death came back ugly, came back wrong. It makes Buck feel ugly too, like his skin hangs too loosely from his bones, like his bones and joints are awkward and wrong, marionette-stiff and grotesque.

It's exhausting in its own way, exhausting in a way that has nothing to do with nightmares or sleepless nights. He wants to feel like himself again but every single version of himself that's ever been worth a damn is kept locked tight in a vault inside Eddie's chest and Buck has no way of getting it out. He doesn't know this muted-grey version of himself, not anymore, not when Eddie poured through all his cracks and filled his life with so much color, but he hates it.

It's not fair. People shouldn't be able to introduce someone to a world they've never seen before and just leave. People shouldn't be able to take that world with them when they go, but that's life and Buck's reminded every single day that life isn't—and never has been—goddamn fucking fair.

He catches up to Eddie one day after shift six weeks after waking up from the coma, six weeks after coming back to life and realizing that their breakup wasn't the worst dream of his life. He corners him up against his truck because it's the only way he feels like he can talk to him these days, and that in itself is its own kind of heartbreak.

"Hey."

"Hey," Eddie says. He looks down at his keys in his hands. His car key is already pinched between his thumb and forefinger, already poised over the keyhole in the door, but he refuses to look at Buck anyway. "You alright?"

No.

"Yeah. Yeah, fine. Everything is fine." Buck digs the toe of his sneaker into the asphalt. He's feels nervous, suddenly—childish and unsure like a toddler tugging on his parents pants, begging for scraps of their attention. "Yeah, I was just wondering if I could come over today. See Christopher. It's been a while and it's—I miss him is all."

There's an awkward silence.

Eddie frowns. "Oh. I'm not—I'm not sure that's a good idea actually."

He thinks his heart stops beating, his lungs stop breathing. Buck's not sure, but he swears he tastes blood in the back of his mouth.

"Oh."

"It's just that today isn't a good day is all. He has a science project due tomorrow and he's staying at a friend's house until late tonight so they can work on it, and it's—"

"No, yeah, it's fine. I get it. Seriously. You don't have to explain."

"I do." Eddie looks up. Meets his eyes for the first time in what feels like years, both his gaze and his voice unflinchingly earnest. "This isn't a punishment, Buck. If it were any other day, I'd say yes. You know I would. I'm just—I'm just not used to you not knowing this stuff anymore."

Eddie shrugs helplessly and Buck feels that helplessness echoed in his own chest. He doesn't know how to be broken up with Eddie, he's realizing. He finds that at random parts of the day, he's still expecting their lives to be as intertwined as they've always been. But then he encounters a moment like this, wherein he becomes abruptly aware of all the loose ends now no longer with an anchor to tether themselves to, and he feels sick all over again. He's used to moments like this, but it's an odd thing to witness Eddie having one.

"I'm not used to it either," Buck says. "For whatever its worth."

Eddie nods. "I know."

Buck tugs on the strap of his duffel bag. There is a question on the tip of his tongue. It feels smeared on his teeth, tucked into the hinge of his jaw, bloody and bitter saturated into his taste buds. Will we ever love again? Will you ever love me again? Because he certainly hasn't stopped. But Eddie doesn't want to hear that right now, and even if he did, Buck's not sure he wants to hear his answer.

He forces a smile that misses his eyes by a mile and nods. "It's okay, just, um. Just tell him he can come over any time, you know? He doesn't have to ask. It's—my door is always open to him. Always."

He's my son. Of course it is.

Eddie swallows tightly. "He knows, Buck. I swear he knows. He's just—we need time. We all need time."

Time for what? Time for you to fall out of love with me?

Another question he won't ask.

Another question whose answer he fears.

Buck digs his thumbnail into his bag's strap. "My door—it's always open to you too. You know that." He swallows. "Still true."

Eddie turns away from him completely, toward the rush of the busy street and the cars passing by, unaware of the catastrophe unfolding in the fire station parking lot, but not before Buck catches the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes.

"Yeah," Eddie whispers. "Yeah."

"Yeah."

There's nothing more to say after that.

Buck backs up a step. He feels like he's dying as he watches Eddie get into his truck, knowing there's not a space beside him anymore. He knows the feel of Eddie's steering wheel underneath his hands better than he knows the jeep's and sometimes he think he could sculpt every inch and scratch of that jeep from memory alone. He doesn't stand and watch Eddie drive away. Instead, Buck gets into his vehicle and leans his head back against the headrest. He's tired, his chest hurts and his throat aches with a stifled sob. But there's nothing to do for a broken heart except drink it away or sleep it off and with Bobby as a cautionary tale, Buck always choose the latter.

He puts his key in the ignition, turns it over, and drives away, leaving all his grief in the parking lot. His demons can walk home. Maybe then, at least, he'll get a couple minutes of reprieve.

Buck flicks on the radio, turns the volume up to full blast, and tries desperately not mourn something he's not sure he ever had.

#IDK #jack.txt #my fic #lol #i dunno man !!! #*shrugs*

[farmerlarrry]

Orange Slices (Joel Miller x f!reader)

masterlist | chapter twelve | chapter eleven | read on ao3 | playlist

story summary: A story about finding companionship and love in the midst of chaos.

a/n: I read a few books and remembered how to write again :) Sorry for being gone for so long. I will be doing a huge revise of the whole story, just because I had planned on doing that all along… and of course I kept putting it off and before I knew it I was almost 15 chapters in, so between the time of posting this updated and chapter 14 and writing chapter 15, just keep in mind that I did not go MIA again, I am working on updates. I'm going to try to get chapter 14 up tomorrow!

**I wrote this at work so if there’s typos, I’m sorry. I tried my best to catch as many I could and I get so eager to post**

word count: 9005

if you want to be notified when I post new chapters, follow @farmerlarrrylibrary and put on notifications! If you'd rather be tagged, just let me know.

Chapter Thirteen

Fuck, fu–ck, you incoherently hear. The distant sound of someone’s voice draws you out of your state of sleep. Your eyes gently flutter open, eyelashes brushing up against your under eyes as you take a deep breath in and tensing your body up as a way to somewhat stretch your limbs due to the limited space offered by the couch. Must’ve been a part of a dream, you think as the silence makes your ears ring, your eyes darting around at different spots on the ceiling.

A fleeting feeling of intense nausea comes over you, as it does most mornings after you drink. You let a small moan escape past your lips as you run your hand over your stomach; you hate the feeling that you’re about to vomit more than anything. Rolling over onto your side, you nuzzle your face against the back cushion and pull the thick woven blanket further up your body to bask in the remaining warmth. The cold weather arrived early this year, leaving you shivering throughout the nights. 

The longer you stay cuddled into the cushions of the couch, the comfier and more relaxed you become, your limbs now feeling like puddles of liquid.  I’ll get up in a few minutes, you think to yourself, allowing your eyes to become heavy, not fighting your tiredness any longer. The swirling colors that the dim lighting of the room curated behind your eyelids begin to hypnotize you back to sleep.

That is until a loud thud comes from somewhere inside your house, causing you to shoot up from your lying position, still clutching on tightly to the blanket. Panic washes over you and your heart is beating faster than it has in a long time. You have your eyes locked on the staircase, straining your hearing for any indication where the noise may have come from.

God damnit, the quiet but gruff voice of a man causes you to quickly turn around toward the kitchen, more muttering follows, but you can’t quite make out what they’re saying. Just as you begin to take a small step forward, Joel pops up from behind the counter, tossing the paper bag filled with coffee grounds on the surface. He is very visibly frustrated, letting out a soft sigh. You find yourself to be somewhat confused, shifting your eyes just past him; the cabinet door is slightly ajar and two mugs sit side by side on the counter. 

As his head comes past the edge of the counter, the two of you immediately lock eyes, widening at your presence as if he were surprised. You’re in my house, you think. You toss the blanket onto the couch, only breaking eye contact for a few short moments. Joel’s mouth opens slightly, however nothing comes out. 

“You scared me,” You say quietly, yet relieved. Your heart still feels as if it were beating outside of your chest. 

“Shit, sorry,” His words came out as mumbled, resting his palms flat against the edge of the countertop and leaning his weight into his hands. He looks down for a moment, letting out a breath of air as you come around the back of the couch, situating yourself across from him. “I was tryin’ not to wake you.” 

Joel appears to be slightly embarrassed by the current situation, his cheeks very subtly stained pink and he’s rubbing his thumb over the laminate countertop. As the two of you continue to stand there, you can’t help but feel confused; confused as to why he’s in your house, not that you’re upset by the fact– just confused. Although, who knows what you potentially said to him, after James left, the last thing you remember is finishing off the bottle of alcohol while Joel quietly sat at the table across from you, babying the small glass he ended up pouring himself. You cringe at the thought.

“When did you become so… domesticated,” You say dryly, meaning it as a joke, jutting your chin towards the mugs, going up on your tiptoes to see the coffee ground that laid messily in a pile in the ground. It was hard imagining Joel as anyone other than who he’s shown you; a man who will kill to survive– do anything to survive– not someone who brews coffee in the morning for himself and his… whatever. 

Joel follows your gesture, bringing his hand up to his chin, rubbing it gently with his thumb and forefinger. You cock your head waiting for his response. Although you intended it as a joke, you were still curious. This wasn’t typical Joel, not the one you knew, or at least not the one you thought you knew. 

“Was tryin’ to make some coffee before we head out, but I hit my head on the cabinet door and dropped the grounds,” He followed up, gesturing first to the cabinet and then to the loose coffee grounds that were still scattered on the ground.  Joel drew some air before continuing. “I changed your kitchen light by the way, the one that kept flickerin’, nearly gave me a damn headache last night.”

“Last night?” You furrow your brows, the mention of it brings you a sense of impending doom, your stomach twisting up in knots. Closing your eyes, you let out a huff of air. “Right, last night.” 

Your voice sounds muffled. 

With your eyes closed, all you can see is tJames’ face and the way it changed from his sweet smile to a look of utter dismay. You feel guilty for lying to him and you thought that by drinking you could drown out that guilt, but now it’s the next day, you feel even guiltier and you feel like shit. This time, you’ve dug yourself into a hole you weren’t quite sure how you were going to get yourself out of. What do you even tell James? Sorry, the sudden return of a man who, for some reason, I cannot get off my mind and makes my heart flutter like it never has before, caught me off guard so for the time being I’m just going to tell you to fuck off. Please just give me some time and space while I figure things out. No, absolutely not. If it had been anyone else besides James, maybe. 

“Take these,” Joel breaks you out of your thoughts. He’s sliding two pills across the counter and then fills a glass up with water from the sink. “Maybe a shower will help too, you were pretty messed up when I left last night.” 

You let out a small hum, picking up the pills from the counter and throwing your head back, swallowing them at once. Joel continues to watch you carefully, running his eyes all over you. You raise your eyebrows at him, which seems to snap him out of some sort of daze. He clears his throat, turning to the now boiling percolator.

“I got our assignment today,” Joel says. The realization he is returning to patrol makes you happy, something you had been secretly hoping would be the case.

“The hunting sheds,” the two of you say in unison. Joel gives you a single nod, pursing his lips. You simply stare back at him.

The hunting shed was one of your least favorite assignments. It’s fairly easy other than the fact you’re out all day, climbing up and down steep hills. It’s more so tiring than hard, but it’s something that obviously must be done to keep the security of Jackson up to par.

“Yeah, hope you’re ready for a full day of fun,” His tone is sarcastic. You can tell he is definitely not looking forward to it either. 

You give him a very obvious fake smile, letting your palms drag along the counter as you turn to head for the stairs, desperately hoping this shower will be your saving grace from how horrible you feel. 

–

You take the steps downward slowly as you dry your hair with the already damp towel, only stopping for a brief moment on the bottom step when you see Joel sitting at the table. He has one of his ankles propped up on the other leg’s knee, a mug in one hand and the other is holding up one of the old newspapers you always leave on the table. He seems to be engulfed in whatever he’s reading, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes dart across the page, reading it line by line. The massive stack of newspapers that were once neatly stacked on one end of the table are now messily strewn about.

Quietly, you come up from behind him, glancing down at the paper and running your eyes along the bolded article titles. This one you know particularly well after the many rereads you’ve done. September 13, 2003; Community Development Plan Completed, building is to start November of this year!; Jackson Men To Complete 2,350 Mile Kayak Trip, 2,050 Miles down with 300 Miles to go! A part of you wondered if they ever did complete their trip, and did they come back into town to the infected, or how exactly that all went down. 

As you pass Joel, your elbow grazes his bicep, causing him to jump, likely startled by your sudden presence; neither of you say anything. The chair he’s sitting quietly squeaks as he shifts his weight, while you make a beeline directly for the stove. As you reach for the mug Joel set out for you, he clears his throat, causing you to glance at him over your shoulder. 

You let out a small hm, prompting him to spill whatever is currently on his mind before turning back around.

“You read these often?” he says, the paper crinkling as he folds it back up.

“Most mornings… gives me something to do,” you respond dryly as you slowly fill your mug, stream rolling off the top and the moist warmth hitting the bottom side of your chin. 

“Seems like a lifetime ago.” He says in a small voice. The statement is so simple, yet seems loaded. 

“No kidding.” You say softly, you’re not even sure if he heard you. 

You turn around to face him with your mug in hand, giving him a tired look while you run your fingers across the tattered edge of the countertop with your free hand. There is no denying that you feel like shit. The shower didn’t help and you are almost positive the coffee isn’t going to do anything either. Your exhaustion must be obvious because Joel is looking at you sympathetically, carefully watching you as you stand leaning against the edge of the countertop. Taking a sip of your coffee, you look at him through the rim of your mug, the two of you meet each other's eyes. Joel quickly looks away, sitting up straighter in his chair and setting the newspaper down on the table. He lets out a deep sigh, using the wooden surface to push himself upright. 

“I’m gonna go get the horses ready to go,” He says while walking over to the sink and setting his empty upside down, then pulling a thermos out from the side of his bag. “Meet me at the stables in 15 or so… will that be enough time for you?” 

You nod your head, pulling your lip in between your teeth as he turns and walks toward you. 

Placing his hand just above one of your hips, you take a few steps to the side, to which he steps where you were once standing. The feeling on his fingertips against your side makes your stomach jump and you have to fight against your instinct to shiver. He fills his thermos with coffee, you staring at him, watching his face. He glances at you, you can see his throat bob as he prevents the percolator from dripping down the side of his container. The air is still. Your eyes dart down to his bottom lip which he is toying at with his teeth. Your heart begins to thump loudly in your ears, he’s making it hard not to imagine what it’d be like to be the one toying with it for him.

“I’ll see you in a few,” he says awkwardly, and you give him a shy nod.

The moment Joel leaves, you can feel your body relax, letting out a small huff of air. You mindlessly gather different supplies, making sure you have a lunch packed. As you’re doing so, you let your mind wander, how you were going to handle things with James, now that Joel is back. It feels wrong to continue things with James, especially when he’s not who you want– he was never who you wanted. 

Whether Joel feels the same way, doesn’t factor into your decision. 

–

The air is quite a bit chillier than you expected. This year the cold weather has come early, something that sort of threw the community for a loop. The town square is always already filled with people by 6am due to the increased workload in the gardens, making sure everything can be harvested before the cold gets to it. Today was no different, you could hear the bustling of the townspeople the moment you took a step out from your house. The murmurs make your ears buzz. 

You’re messing with the floppy straps of your backpack that always find a way to twist, not quite paying attention as you come out of the side pathway that separates your part of the community and the townsquare. When you finally look up, you immediately notice James and Joel and they are very obviously arguing. People start to slow down as they pass by them, confused as to what could possibly be going on between the two men. You are wondering the same. Did James say something to Joel? Would Joel really be that upset about something like that? You think, slowing your pace. You can feel your eyebrows draw together, your teeth clenching down hard. 

As people pass by, leaving an opening for you to look through, you then notice Nessa standing a few feet behind James as well as Tommy engaged in what seems to be a pretty intense conversation based on his active nodding and hardened facial expression with Maria. You feel your heart sink into your stomach. Continuing your slow pace, you observe the loosely formed group.

Nessa and you catch eyes, a fire is burning behind her eyes, before walking over to Tommy, tapping his shoulder, and gesturing in your direction. In unison, the four all stop their conversations, turning to look at you. They each hold a different facial expression. Joel appears to be heavily annoyed but his look softens when the two of you make eye contact, James looks nervous and mildly perturbed, Tommy’s usually cheery expression has been exchanged for an outright stressed one, and Maria looks concerned yet confident as always. The range of emotions make your stomach churn. 

As soon as you and Tommy make eye contact, he lurches forward, quickly approaching you with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his worn jeans. You stop in your tracks, hoping he can give you the run down of exactly what the fuck is going on. 

“You’ve been doin’ your patrol alone?” He doesn’t waste time asking, his voice is hushed not wanting the other around to hear. He places his hands on your shoulder and blocks you out of the view of the others. His usual kind, soft eyes are now intense and dark. 

Fuck, you think to yourself, parting your lips ever so slightly, not quite sure what to say. You kept Tommy in the dark about this, not wanting him to worry and honestly, it was better if he didn’t know. You explicitly lied when he would ask you about patrol or when you’d tell him peculiar stories about the events that happened out on patro, usually pulling someone’s name out of thin air whoever was your partner for that day. 

“James came to Maria this mornin’ with some concerns about you,” Tommy adds, anticipating your response, desperately hoping that James’ accusations aren’t the truth, or at least not the whole truth. His expression is pleading, darting from one part of your face to another.

As soon as James’ name rolls past Tommy’s lips, you dart your eyes over to him, who quickly tips his head down toward the ground, completely avoiding you. You can feel your face feel with heat which only makes the throbbing in your head to worsen, and chaos begins to brew in your chest. Fucking James. 

“Tommy,” you say, sounding outright guilty and round your posture. Sweat begins to pool in your palms, soaking into the strap of your bag that you were still tightly holding onto. He lets out a disappointed sigh, shifting his eyes past you. 

“Jesus Christ,” He says breathily, slightly shaking his head. He begins to knead his fingertips into your shoulder blade, taking a moment longer to think. You stare at him blankly. “Okay… we’ll figure this out, just tell Maria the truth, I’ll see what I can do after that… but she is not going to like hearing this.” 

“Yeah,” you say quietly in defeat, looking down at your feet before looking back up at Tommy. “I’m sorry Tommy.” 

When he finally looks back at you, he gives you a pitiful smile, one that quickly fades. Sliding his hand back between your shoulder blades, he guides you over to the rest of the ground. Nessa is still giving you a deathly stare, which annoys you because a few days ago the two of you were fine, you were laughing together over some old memory from your time as school girls. What changed so suddenly? 

You can see her mouth move, saying something just quiet enough to where you couldn't hear her with you still being a few yards away. Joel’s face twists up, twisting his upper body toward her. Don’t fucking say that, his voice is unmistakable, and so is the harsh intent behind his words. She’s very clearly biting her tongue, fighting the urge to shoot something back at him, but before she can make the decision to respond, Joel turns away from her, chewing on his bottom lip. You can see the anger boiling inside her as she sticks her tongue in her cheek, shaking her head. 

As you come up to the group, she scoffs, storming off into the opposite direction. 

“What’s going on,” you ask. Your body is facing Maria, but you keep your eyes fixated on James who still won’t look at you. 

“James’ had some… concerns regarding your patrols, would you be able to talk in my office? Me, you, Tommy?” Maria responds cooly, her tone seems hesitant yet confident. You’re sure this must be an awkward thing to do, the whole he said, she said situation. You force yourself to swallow against the lump of anger in your throat. 

“Of course,” The annoyance you feel hangs heavy onto your words as they come out of your mouth.

You glance between James over to Joel and you begin to follow Tommy and Maria. His eyes are intense and you notice the quick rise and fall of his chest. 

“I’m coming too,” Joel’s voice is loud as he tightens his grip around the bottom of his pack straps, taking a step forward towards you. A few community members who remained to watch, exchanged looks between each other.

Maria lets out a heavy sigh before turning around. 

“If he’s going, then I am too,” James quickly adds. You know he doesn’t actually want to be there, but if Joel is going then he must too. You roll your eyes. 

“Neither of you will be joining us,” She says firmly. “James, you already told us your concerns, I will speak to her, get her side of things and then I will handle it from there. And Joel… you haven’t been here, so I’m not quite sure why you are concerning yourself with things that you would have no idea about.” 

You slowly shift your attention from Maria over to Joel, who is clenching his jaw. He’s looking at Tommy who refuses to look back, kicking at the dirt and rocks with his hands back in his pockets. When Joel realizes he won’t be getting a response, he quickly turns on his heel, giving you an emotionless look, and heading towards the entrance of the community. James is quick to follow, tailing closely behind Joel. 

“C’mon,” Tommy juts his chin in the direction of the main building, reaching his arm out towards you.

–

It’s been a while since you’ve last been here. Everything remains the same, even the old dried flowers that still sit on the table between the two chairs in the center of the room. The morning glow illuminates the room with a warm glow, however the air is chilly. You have your palms resting on the rounded ends of the arms of the chair, slowly rubbing the back and forth. Maria and Tommy are standing in front of you; Maria is upright, her hands clasped together in front of her while Tommy is leaning against the edge of the desk with his arms crossed and shoulder slightly slouched. Even though you know both of them quite well at this point, it doesn’t stop you from feeling inferior, especially in the given situation. 

“So, what’d he say,” You impatiently ask, your tone portraying your emotions very clearly. You already knew, but you wanted to know exactly what he told Maria. 

Maria glances over to Tommy who returns with an awkward smile, unfolding his arms and pointing at himself. She gives him a single nod before he pushes himself upright, clearing his throat. 

“Well, he came to Maria this morning, while we were talkin’,” He starts, “said he’s concerned– you haven’t been following the protocol or proper guard etiquette…”

He trails off, looking at Maria through his peripheral view who is waiting for him to continue. Her eyes are focused solely on him as if she were urging him to go on, silently supporting him through this tough conversation. 

“He said something about you goin’ out, doing patrol by yourself,” Tommy finally finishes, a wheeze of air escaping past his lips before continuing, “‘n that he was concerned for your safety.” 

You let out an amused scoff, shifting your weight in the chair. Concerned with my safety, his excuse was laughable. You knew exactly why he was doing this and it wasn’t his concern.

“I didn’t call in yesterday, I’ll admit to that, because I get it… it’s my responsibility to do that, and it slipped my mind,” you say, your throat burning as you speak. “But he’s known what I've been doing for months.” 

Maria purses her lips and nods, walking over to the chair next to you and taking a seat. You turn your body towards her, waiting for her to say something. 

“And that’s concerning for me, knowing that I've put him in charge and he’s allowing that,” she simply says. It was hard to read her calm demeanor, something that made you feel anxious. 

You look at Tommy through your peripheral vision, he appears to be somewhat confused, staring at Maria. 

“He also said you’ve been staying out late, sometimes the entire day,” she continues.

You can feel your nose twitch at the mention of you staying out past your patrol, you force yourself to slightly smile, although you know nothing will cover up your initial reaction. Your breathing becomes shallow. You’re completely done for. There’s nothing Tommy can do that will save you from being taken off patrol. You knew the chances, but you never thought James would be the reason you were caught. Your brain is racing with thoughts, trying to come up with something in response that may cover your ass. 

Maria cocks her head and raises her eyebrows slightly, encouraging you to say something. Your mouth has gone dry. Time’s up, you think, letting out a small shaky breath. 

“There’s an outlook I go to somedays– well, actually, most days,” Your voice is small. “I go there after I’m done with patrol, after I call in, and I just… think, I don’t know, I just do whatever.” 

A feeling of embarrassment comes over you as you admit to your whereabouts. Telling them about the outlook feels shameful, and not for the reason that you aren’t supposed to be doing stuff like that. Them now being aware of a place that you connected with Joel through in absence made you feel sick, even if they don’t know that’s the reason why you went.

Tommy and Maria exchange looks again, this time her eyes softening. 

“I know I’m not supposed to be doing that, I know it’s dangerous going out by myself, I just…” You say with your head hanging low. “When I’m out there, it’s the only time I feel like myself.”

Mmm, Maria quietly hums. 

“About what happened at the dam–” She starts to say.

“Maria…” You abruptly cut her off, something you normally wouldn’t do, but you couldn’t listen any longer.“I don’t know what James told you, but I do my job. I do it exactly how I was taught and doing it by myself does not change that. I promise you I did not see anything out of the ordinary yesterday, otherwise I would have reported it the moment  I saw it.” 

You stare intensely into Maria’s eyes as you speak. It was the truth. You were good at what you did, whether you were alone or with someone else. Always being ready to go, ready to defend, ready to fight, to give your life if need be– it was all you knew in this new world, and you were good at it. You hadn’t made it this far on pure luck, anyone with a brain would know that. A one time mistake does not make that statement untrue and James all of a sudden coming forward with his concerns also does not make that untrue. 

You can feel the anger creep its way up your throat as you think of James’ pettiness, how all of this was because Joel was at your house last night. Sure, you can agree that lying to James about having plans was wrong, but it didn’t make it right that he did this in response. How childish, you think.

The sound of Tommy clearing his throat pulls you out of your deep state of thought. Both you and Maria shift your attention to him. 

“Maria, if you don’t mind, I was just thinkin’... with Joel being back,” Tommy says with a slight hesitation. He knew he shouldn’t be making any sort of suggestions without discussing with her first, but then again he promised he’d do everything he could to keep you out of trouble. This is him risking that to keep his promise to you. “There’s really no reason to punish her, ‘specially if James was the one allowing this, she took it as permission– him knowing, ya know… at least that’s what I assume. Her and Joel can just continue patrol together, then we take the rest up with James.” 

You can feel yourself exhale in relief at his suggestion, a part of you slightly surprised by him throwing James under the bus. Regardless of Maria’s decision, you were grateful for Tommy having your back, proof that the two of you really are as close as you thought. The two of you carefully watch Maria as she contemplates his suggestion, her eyes glaze over as she thinks.

She gives a slight nod to Tommy, who glances over to you, giving you a short lived smile before you turn your attention back to Maria. 

“You and Joel, never just you and never just Joel, is that clear?” She says, giving you a serious look. “Make sure you call in after every patrol, I do not want to hear any of this it slipped my mind nonsense again.” 

“Yes ma’am,” You respond affirmingly, sitting up straighter in the chair. “I promise.” 

“And you’ll be sure to pass that onto Joel?” Maria directs to Tommy as she rises from her sitting position.

“Yes, of course,” He says.

–

Tommy stayed back to have a few more words with Maria, telling you that he would be just behind you to talk to Joel. Don’t let him leave without talking to me first, he requested. You’re moving your legs as fast and they will allow you to move them, knowing your already long day has become even longer due to heading out so late now. On top of that, the animosity you now felt did not help with your headache and queasy stomach.

With the stables now in view, you see James standing out front by the wooden gate with Nora and a couple of the other guards. He’s using one of his arms to prop himself up as he leans against one of the wooden posts. Since you saw him earlier this morning, he’s had a complete mood shift; he’s laughing, his cheeks rosy with glee, his eyes soften as he jokes around with the others, lighting hitting the back on his hand against one of the men standing to his side. Seeing him like this, thinking he succeeded in his plan to get you in trouble, makes your heart skip a beat, a feeling of rage quickly taking over your rational thought. You begin to charge toward him, taking bigger and longer strides. 

The moment he sees you, the blood drains from his face as if he has just seen a ghost. His jaw tenses up. Perfect, you think. The closer you got to him, the more you struggled to keep the newfound deep hatred for him from exploding out of you..

“What?” You yell out to him, charging straight for him with blurred tunnel vision. “You surprised to see me?” 

Typically, you are not the confrontational type, but James crossed the line by going to Maria; putting the one thing you had that kept you sane on the line. Your anger hit a boiling point seeing him act as if nothing had happened and you didn’t care who heard what or who would be caught in the crossfire of it all. 

“Get ready to head out, I’ll be right behind you guys,” He quickly says. Nora and the others give you a conflicting look almost as if they were confused by your brashness towards James.

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” You say to them, shifting your attention onto James when you are finished. There’s a bite in your tone that has made everyone in hearing distance stop in their tracks. “I didn’t get taken off of patrol duty like he wanted.” 

James’ face drops at your announcement, his face twisting up. He’s shocked– shocked that his plan did not work. Seeing him like this was priceless, though the only thing you wanted to do was shove that confused and wide eyed face of his into the horse manure that was scattered around the stable grounds.

“You didn’t?” He says quietly, staring at you with furrowed brows. You couldn’t miss the surprise in his tone. 

Your anger cools for a second and you take a step in closer, crossing your arms and looking up at him through your browline darkly.

“What the fuck was that about?” your words come out shakily as you try to act calm and collected. Your breath feels like it's coming out in flames. This was just meant for him to hear, you hushened your tone so no one, not even the shadows of his companions, could hear.

“I was concerned,” His tone is monotonous, not breaking eye contact with you. His chest was heaving at this point as he struggled to control it. 

“Bullshit, James,” You practically hiss through your teeth. “You’re telling me this has nothing to do with Joel last night?” 

His eye twitches at the mention of him showing up at your house. You can see his throat bob as he struggles to remain apparently unaffected. 

“You lied to me,” he says slowly. “Lied about you and Nessa, lied about you and–” 

“What’s goin’ on?” Joel calls out, coming out of the stable with Callus in hand. He gives you a look of concern before handing off the horses’ lead to one of the stable workers. James scoffs, gesturing towards Joel with one of his hands, giving you a sarcastic smile. His eyebrows are raised halfway up his forehead to tell you that he didn’t even need to say exactly who he was referring to.

Just as you open your mouth to speak, you feel someone rest their hands on your shoulders, lightly squeezing them, almost an nonverbal way of telling you to stand down. It’s Tommy, and he’s shaking his head, urging everyone to drop this. You chew on the inner flesh of your bottom lip, contemplating your choices. Narrowing your eyes, you take one step forward, Tommy’s hands now slipping away from you.

“Fuck you,” You whisper to James as you brush up past him, your shoulder firmly knocking into his. One of the stable workers opens the gate for you, giving you a firm nod as you pass by. 

“Yeah? Fuck me?” he responds, now raising his voice in a way you’ve never heard from him before. “After everything I’ve done for you, for being there for you– now he’s back you’re just going to pretend we–” 

Just as you begin to turn on your heel, Tommy cuts in and takes complete control over the situation.

“Hey,” Tommy shouts in a stern tone, cutting James off before he can finish. “Drop it, now. Maria would like to speak to you, tell your friends to go to the North tower, see if they need any help there today.” 

James looks dumbfounded by Tommy, almost offended by him obviously choosing sides. He remains standing at the post for a moment longer, staring at the ground with his hands kneading at his hips, before turning to face his friends. You could hear the unmistakable sound of his voice, unable to make out what he was saying to them with the distance you created. 

You watch as Nora starts walking back towards the main part of the community while the rest aren’t shy to hide their dirty looks from you. Initially, you didn’t care that much, not entirely bothered by their hateful stares, but it still somewhat hurt deep down inside of you. As angry as you were at James, it hurt you that this was how he thought to get back at you; how intental the damage that would have been caused if it hadn’t been for Tommy. Not being able to take the group’s lingering looks any longer, you drop your head to stare at the ground anticipating their departure.

“By the way, Charles has been wondering where you’ve been– Dot and Henry too,” James calls out from the other side of the gate. Now he’s the one who doesn’t care about who overhears. “Never quite sure what to tell them.” 

“James,” Joel growls. 

James head shoots in his direction, his reaction directly influencing Joel to take large strides over to the where James stood, the only thing separating the two is the rotting wooden fencing,  something that could easily be bypassed. Tommy immediately comes between the two serving as another barrier, placing his hand on James’ chest. James swipes at Tommy’s arm. 

“I’m leaving, damn,” He says quietly, giving a deathly glare as Joel and then you. 

Callus nudges at one of your shoulders from behind causing you to turn, James’ look burned into your mind. You’re doing everything you can to stop your lip from quivering, running your hand down the smooth snout of the horse which has come to comfort you. Joel returns from the fence, quickly fixing your twisted strap on your backpack. You can feel him staring at you from your side, but you keep your eyes forward, avoiding his gaze– afraid of what might come out of you if you were to look at him. Last thing I need is for everyone, especially him to see me cry, you soothe yourself, desperately holding onto what's left of your ego.

Tommy has now joined the two of you by the entrance of the main stable building, forcing you to face the two men now. Joel takes a step closer to you, your arms brushing  up against each other. 

“You know this already,” He says to you before fixing his eyes on Joel. “You two stay together, no one does patrol alone… I mean that, Joel.” 

Tommy glares at him until Joel acknowledges what he says. Joel gives a simple, single nod which causes Tommy to finally release a long breath of air, his chest very visibly falling. 

“Okay,” He says in relief, returning back to his normal self. “We’re still doing dinner tonight right?” 

Mhm, Joel hums along with a nod, his hands are stuffed deep in his pockets. 

“I’ll meet you there, ‘round 7,” Tommy replies. “Be safe.”

He gives your arm a reassuring squeeze before exiting through the stable’s fence gate and returning to the main part of town. Joel and you are left standing there for a moment. You aren’t quite sure what to say and by Joel’s expression he isn’t quite sure either. 

“Everything okay?” Joel is the first to speak, his tone somewhat dry. 

Is everything okay? You mock him in your own thoughts. You want to roll your eyes, instead opting for a blake stare. You pass him, heading into the stables to start helping the others where were in the process of readying Lucky. 

– 

Without exchanging any deciding words, you took the lead for today’s assignment. As per usual, leaving the horses at the old worn down barn that was treated as a halfway point between the community and the treeline that led to the dense forested area. The anger from the events of this morning clung onto you fiercely and no matter how much you tried to push it away, it clung on tighter. 

Joel was caught in the crossfire of these events. You weren’t mad at him, but that didn’t stop you from taking it out on him no matter how badly you didn’t want to. Between leaving the front gates to now, Joel tried to talk to you, tried making conversation. You're going to be warm enough with just that, he asked, gesturing to your hoodie tied around your waist. All you could get yourself to do in response was shrug your shoulders, not caring enough to even give him a second look. 

“I came over last night to talk to you about somethin’” Joel says, the words coming out weak through his tired breathing. Initially his words piqued an interest with you, but that faded just as quick as it came. “But-uh, didn’t seem like the right time once I was there.”

“And right now is?” You responded just as breathily. The never ending steep hill seems to have taken a toll on you– both of you.

“I’d rather get it over with, good time as any, I suppose,” he says, pausing as if he were waiting for you to give him the go ahead to continue. You felt like you had already given him your answer, letting him decide whether he wanted to go on or not. He cleared his throat before speaking again. “About what happened the day I left…”

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter under your breath, quickening your pace, trying to let Joel fall behind to avoid talking about that. Perhaps on any other day, as uncomfortable as it would have been, you’d be willing to talk about it, but not today… not in the state of mind you're currently in. “There’s nothing to talk about, Joel, I misread your intentions and… and it's been a year. We have a job to do, so let’s just get it done.” 

“That’s not–” He takes a deep breath, letting it out forcibly as if he were annoyed. “I tried stopping by your place before I left.”

“Stop,” you say with a bit more bite than you intended.

“I don’t want you to think–” Joel pressed on, truly determined to say whatever he wanted to say. 

“Stop it,” you spit. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does now that I’m back,” he raises his voice to talk over you. “I want to make sure–”

“Make sure we’re good?” you interrupt him. “We are, so drop it.” 

The two of you come to a stand still. Joel’s chest is quickly rising and falling, his cheeks stained pink by the energy required to climb up the steep hill. A breeze picks up, sweeping Joel’s longish hair over his eyes; he pushes the strands out of way, still holding eye contact with you. 

Taking a deep breath as a way to cleanse your mind, an attempt to shake off this anger you feel, you begin to head up the hill again. This time slowing your pace to allow Joel to keep up without exerting himself too much. You both still had a long day ahead of you whether you wanted to be there or not. 

As silence ensued, Joel finally accepted that no matter how hard he tried, you did not want to talk to him that night. Although you didn’t want to talk about it, it didn’t stop random thoughts from popping up in your mind. You couldn’t build up the courage to make one particular thought known, to ask him the burning question that haunted you since he left. 

Joel managed to make his way to your side, his presence startling you from your deep state of thought. He didn’t say anything, just tightening his grip on his shoulder straps and giving you a quick glance. His jaw clamped shut. 

“Were you planning on leaving before…” You stop prematurely as the words rushed out of your mouth, the burning in your chest disappearing the moment you let the words enter reality. A shaky exhale escaped past your lips. Why does it matter, you questioned your own words, if he says no, then what? What does it change?

A nasty feeling overcomes you when he doesn't react, not even looking up from his focused stare at the ground. Nothing? You think, your throat begins to close in on itself.

“Let’s just get this done, I’m tired and my head hurts,” you say, your heart feeling like it shattered into a million pieces.

–

After your little spat with Joel neither of you speak  for a long while. A few task related words had been exchanged, but nothing beyond that. As the day ran longer and your mind returned to a neutral state, you felt bad for how you treated Joel. You felt bad for taking out your problem with James on him. 

“Sorry I was mean earlier,” you say quietly, picking at the sandwich you brought for lunch today. “Just the whole thing with James, you know?”

“You’re okay, darlin’” Joel says, the words coming out of his mouth smoothly, sending a blanket of warmth over your entire body. “James does that to people, I would know.” 

You force yourself to smile, although the guilt of how you treated him earlier when you were still seething with anger continued to eat at you.  

“Take this,” Joel added, causing you to look up from your food which you had balanced on one of your knees. He pulled out a neatly folded flannel from his backpack. It turns out that the hoodie you brought was in fact not warm enough, and between your shivering body and your chattering teeth, it must’ve been obvious. “You’re makin’ me cold just watchin’ you.” 

You mutter a small thanks to him as you meet him in the middle, taking it from him without any rebuttal or hesitation. As you slip your arms through the baggy sleeve, Joel’s smell engulfs you. Your heart flutters, quickening its pace, and your stomach twists into a knot. A smell that you couldn’t quite describe beyond comforting and one that warmed to the core, more warmth than any jacket could offer you. 

“You said you had some stuff to wrap up in Boston” you ask, trying to continue the conversation from earlier and receive some sort of answer from him. Your mouth became dry as you chewed slowly on a small piece of stale bread. “What’d you have to do?”

“A friend, her name’s Tess,” he begins, his words coming out slowly. You remember Joel mentioning Tess once before, a long time ago. “I’ve known her for a while– met her on  the road with Tommy after the outbreak happened.” 

“I remember you mentioning her,” you say, carefully watching his expression for any changes.

“Yeah, she’s-uh badass… real badass,” he responds, his eyes lighting up. Not good, you tell yourself as a feeling of jealousy washes over you. “I wasn’t planning on being gone so long, but she needed help finishing up some deals, tried convincin’ her to come out with me, but she wanted to stay, so…” 

You could see a hint of smile as he spoke about her and then a bit of sorrow at the end. 

“You love Tess?” You remember asking him before if they were together, a part of you wondered if that had changed between then and now.

The question catches him off guard. 

“No,” He immediately shoots back, his face twisting into a complex expression you couldn’t quite read. “No, no… it’s not like that. We’ve been through a lot together though, and– and I guess sometimes that has blurs the lines a bit.”  

You didn’t know how to respond to that so you let the conversation come to an end. The faint song of birds soon fills the air giving you something to listen to as you think over his words over and over again. He doesn’t love her but he feels something for her, you think, the jealousy stabbing into your stomach repeatedly. 

“I don’t mean this in a…” He starts, stopping a moment to think, “are you sure Nessa’s your friend?” 

The mention of Nessa amidst all of the mess Joel witnessed this morning provokes a laugh from you. You have to bite your lip in order for you to stop and answer his inquiry.

“After this morning, I have no idea,” You tell him nothing but the truth. “We were friends a few days ago. What’d she say?”

Joel shook his head, his eyes lowering to his hand which had been fumbling with the edge of a paper bag that held the jerky he brought along.

“C’mon,” you egg him on. By his reaction, you knew it had to have been nasty and knowing Nessa, you weren’t surprised. You knew how she could get, the things she came up in her mind to say about people who crossed her the wrong way. Though, you never thought you’d be in her line of fire.

“It doesn’t matter,” he shook his head again.

“Why are you protecting me?” His resistance causes you to become annoyed. “First with James, now this.” 

“James?” He says almost as if he had no idea what you’d been talking about.

“At the stables,” You try to cool your tone, now trying to come off nonchalant. “When he tried to provoke me about Charles and his kids, and even before….”

Joel scoffs, a sense of embarrassment hidden behind it. 

“I’m not protectin’ you, I– I–” he stammers and throws the half filled paper bag onto the base of his bad. “It doesn’t matter what she said because it wasn’t true.”

You force down the rest of the food you brought along, not necessarily because you wanted to but more so because it gave you something to do while Joel sulked. The usual Joel that you knew too well returned, and he became standoffish. You didn’t pay much mind to it because something told you that his little mood swing wouldn’t last, so all you could do was wait it out. He put up with my mood earlier, I guess it's only fair if I do the same, you told yourself, stealing glances of the slouching  man sitting adjacent from you.

Joel suddenly his throat, catching your attention.

“What do you do when you aren’t on patrol?” His words came out dry, but seemed genuinely curious. 

You let out a puff of air. A whole lot of nothing, you thought and what you wanted to tell him. Nothing important or worth talking about. 

“I drink with some friend,” you state simply, letting your voice falter on the last word. Joel picked up on your intonation of friends, narrowing his eyes.

“Friends?” He nearly mocked you perfectly. “Who?” 

You have to bite your tongue from letting out a small giggle. He should get a kick out of this, you think. 

“Don’t laugh,” you say, looking at him through your browline, a small smile appearing on your face. “I spent quite a bit of my evening with Heather and Aimee, Drew too… and Nessa of course, that whole group.” 

You very specifically left James out of that out of spite, but you were sure Joel would include him as he was a part of that group. Joel, of course, laughed, nearly choking on his water that he just took in from his canteen.

“I told you not to laugh,” You broke out into a smile as Joel wiped his mouth clean from water and saliva. “Besides, there’s not that many people to choose from.”

“There’s enough people to not choose them,” he quickly rebuttal in a joking tone. You just shrug, mainly because he wasn’t wrong. “I’m assumin’ James is apart of that mix too.”

“Yeah, James is there too,” Your face drops. At least he was, you added just to yourself, Or at least I was, you corrected yourself knowing that the gang would choose him over you in any instance, including Nessa.

“What happened between you two?” He asked genuinely, cocking his head to the side as he studied you. “Is he your–”

“Friend I suppose,” You cut him off desperately wanting him to disassociate you and James as being that. “Just a friend.” You weren’t sure if you clarified for him or more for yourself. “Just some petty drama, hopefully it’s over now.”

That seemed to satisfy Joel’s curiosity because he didn’t press any further or ask more questions regarding your friends.

As you pack up your things, now in a much merrier and less hangry mood than before lunch, you catch Joel watching you. Not watching you in a way that he had in the past. It was almost as if he were stuck on you, unable to peel his eyes off of you even if he wanted to. The shift in the air made butterflies form in your stomach at his consistent attention, you tried to ignore it until you couldn't. The two of you lock eyes as you meet him at the base of a rocky ledge.

“What?” you softly ask as you unbunch your many layers of clothes under the straps of your bag.

“Hm,” he half-consciously responds as if he didn’t entirely grasp onto what you just said.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you expand your question further, causing him to blink quickly a few times as if it were bringing him back to the present moment.

“Like what?” he frantically darts his eyes along the ground, furrowing his brows.

“Like–” you begin to say, but the words are stuck in your throat, unwilling to be heard. With your heart fluttering, you continue. “Nevermind.”

But regardless, you saw it in his eyes. 

You saw it.

–

By the time the two of you make it back, the sun has nearly fully set for the day. Your legs hurt, you’re tired, and you’re hungry. The staff who had been there when you left had now all gone home leaving you and Joel to put all the equipment and horses away for the night.

“You hungry?” Joel asks, grunting as he picks up one of the saddles to be put away.

“Very” you drag out the word, letting the exhaustion fill the word entirely. 

“Why don’t you join Tommy ‘n I for dinner,” His voice is quiet, slightly nervous sounding. “Goin’ to Jackson BBQ, best BBQ in town.” 

“It’s the only…” You begin to say, your exhaustion not allowing yourself to pick up on his joke, only stopping once you realize.

He gives you a slight smile which causes you to stop for a moment and take in his offer.

“I– I don’t want to intrude,” You say quietly, though you want to say yes a million times over. “I know how much he’s missed you, so…” 

“He admitted that?” Joel asks with a smirk, wiping his hands off on his already dirty jeans and taking a step in front of you. 

“Not in those words, but…” You smile, lowering your head to hide your face. Joel lets out a hearty laugh. 

“Well, I want you to come,” He follows up with a laugh still lingering in his voice. His emphasis on want made you flinch, not in a bad way, but his directness catches you off guard. When you finally look up from the ground to look at him, he’s eyeing you nearly identical to when you had packed up after lunch. Your breathing hitches. “He won’t mind.”

Joel adds the last part after a few moments of silence between the two you, the soft neighs of the horses and rustle of the wind fill in the spaces.

You draw in a deep, slow breath; the cool air burning your lungs.

“Okay,” You finally agreed.

read chapter fourteen here!

painting divider | credit: @cottage-writings

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[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

“Mornin’ Gary…” the body that was previously hugging him leaves suddenly, the bed shifting as the body sits up and turns.

Ghost only has a moment to wonder where Roach is going before it clicks in his brain, causing him to bolt upright and turn toward the other. Soap looks back at him, teary eyes and small, heartbroken smile on his face as he whispers, “Hey Ghost.”

And something in the way he says it and the way he looks at him let’s him know that he’s gone too far. Mistaken the man for someone long dead one too many times for it to be forgiven this time.

“Johnny…” Said lieutenant shakes his head, wiping at his eyes uselessly as a sob works its way out of his mouth.

“It’s… fine. I get it, don’t worry about it.” But its not fine. Cause it’s been years of Simon and Johnny and even longer since Gary, so he shouldn’t be holding on so much still.

Ghost reaches out, tries to pull the other man in and apologise like every other time this has happened. But instead of crumbling in and accepting it Soap flinches away from him, moves off the bed and away from Simon, refusing to look at him as he continues to try and rid himself of tears.

“I- I love you. So much Simon… But I don’t know if you even see me anymore.” It’s unfair of him to do it but it’s also unfair of Ghost to expect him to forgive and forget every single time.

He’s been hoping, every single day, for five years that maybe Ghost won’t mistake him that morning. Maybe he’ll say that he loves him. Maybe, in his half aware states it’ll be Johnny’s name that escapes his lips and not Roach’s.

But maybe he’s a fool for ever having thought it a possibility, “I will wait forever for you Simon. You know I will, but I can’t keep doing this to myself. I’m so sorry.”

Ghost feels like the worst human to ever exist. To have Johnny apologise to him for something that was never his fault rips Ghost up inside and makes him wish that the Scot had never met him. Cause then maybe he could’ve been saved from this pain.

<><><><><>

“Gaz? Where’s Price I need to speak to him.”

Said man shot him a confused look, head tilted as he gestured vaguely, “They didn’t tell you? Him and Soap left on a mission a month ago.”

Ghost frowned, crossing his arms as he spoke, “Well when will they be back?”

Gaz looked to the ceiling for a moment, probably thinking his answer over, “Tomorrow? They haven’t gotten back to us in a while.”

Ghost nodded, deciding he’d just have to wait till then before he could do what he wanted. He knew his captain was pissed at him for what he’d done to Soap - who was like a son to the man - so he was hoping that with this he could make it up to both of them.

He had worked through his issues, gone to see people and learnt to let go of Roach because it was long past due. He was desperate to prove to Johnny that he could make them work, be what the man needed now.

When the next day comes there’s something heavy sitting in his gut. Some sort of unexplainable feeling that was trying to warn him of something. It’s not until the heli lands that he finally realised why he’s feeling it.

It’s just Ghost and Gaz waiting on the tarmac, watching the heli descend and land. Price comes stumbling out, the man looking beaten and bloody with blood and dirt still fresh on his person.

His eyes look around wildly for a minute before they’re settling on Ghost, then the gaze turns steely and sorrow filled all at once. Price marches toward him before slamming something into his chest, words coming out ragged and angry.

“Even in his last moments he was still apologising to you” Price turns back to the heli, walking away without another word.

Ghost is confused for a moment before he’s looking down at what the captain left with him. It’s Johnny’s journal and dog tags, both of which have blood dried on them.

Ghost can feel his knees give out, the pain ricocheting up his legs as he hits the floor nothing compared to the pain now ravaging his heart.

#fic prompt #fic #prompt #ghost x soap #fuck off haters #i’m looking at you die hard cod players #johnny ‘soap’ mctavish #call of duty #simon ‘ghost’ riley #ghost #past roach x ghost #past ghost x soap #hurt soap #ghost is trying to fix his issues guys! #death!! #poor ghost #sorry guys #hurt no comfort #angst #somebody’s going to die tonight

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

Reason ~ ch. 31

pairing: female oc (devon alba) x levi ackerman

tropes: instructor x cadet, strangers to lovers, male mc falls first

warnings: angst/slow-burn, strong language, upcoming smut(18+ readers only for those chapters pls 🙈), mentions of suicide, anxiety & sleeping issues

brief summary: This story takes place a few years after the Fall of Shiganshina. Devon Alba is in her final year of the 101st Training Corps (844-847), due to her success as a cadet she gets the chance to meet Captain Levi. She doesn’t think too much of him until he catches her in the midst of doing something that she isn’t entirely supposed to be doing. But surprisingly, this leads to something unexpected...

ch. 1 [...] ch. 30 | chapter 31 | ch. 32

“Damn, I should’ve just taken a carriage.” she complained under her breath.

It was a thirty minute walk and with her legs she could make it twenty but this cold weather was not making it easy for her. She was feeling every stinkin’ minute of her walk.

She wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, already missing the ferocious sunlight they’d had yesterday. Fall weather always gave her whiplash.

She gripped her knotted cloth bag tightly as she attempted to warm her hands by rubbing them together.

She hadn’t even meant to take this route back home but she guesstimated that it might be a couple minutes shorter than the route she’d taken to get here.

She’d had a short, early shift at the bookstore today. She’d helped unload the new book delivery so Larsa thought she ought to go home early, despite Devon being the least bit tired.

But she didn’t mind the free time. In fact, she decided to go to a nearby town to check out the tea shop she’d heard about. Levi’s tea was running low-since she was starting to use it-and she wouldn’t mind checking out other types of tea as well.

To her surprise, she’d found the tea shop quite easily. The first person she asked knew exactly what tea shop she was talking about. The store itself was nice as well. She bought Levi’s typical black tea, as well as hibiscus and chamomile tea for her and Levi to try. Chamomile tea supposedly had sleeping benefits so she was especially eager to get Levi to try that.

She suddenly became highly aware that she was the only one walking on this wide road. There was a big brick building on one side of the road and a fence on the other. She was walking alongside the fence.

At first glance, there wasn’t much to see beyond the fence. Just tall, dull green grass but the longer she looked she realized there was a stone gray building further beyond. There was another fence that closely bordered the building.

She belatedly realized that it was a jail. And someone was yelling within it—very loudly. And oddly enough, the voice sounded familiar.

She peered through the fence further, trying to find where the voice originated from only to freeze when she found its source.

There was a broad male, wrapped up in bandages and strapped to a wheelchair. He was wailing like a maniac. He seemed to be avidly struggling against something, it seemed his wheelchair had restraints.

“Let me go! I don’t fuckin’ wanna go back inside! Fuck this! I hate, hate, HATE it here! Fuck!”

His handler shoved his wheelchair forward, “Mr. Bass! Calm down. You’ll have outside time again tomorrow, alright? It’s just too cold right now.”

“Fuck this!” He cried out again, struggling in his chair twice as hard.

A few guards ran over to assist the handler since the wheelchair nearly tipped over.

Mr. Bass.. that name, that voice.. sounds so familiar.. Her blood ran cold.

Carter Bass.

The one and only bastard that had managed to beat her pulp and leave her bedridden for days up to rank day. She hadn’t seen him since the day of the physical assault.

She’d heard he was sent to jail but… seeing it was something else.

And yet.. she couldn’t find a drop of remorse within her body.

Instead a deep-rooted, dark sensation of satisfaction coursed through her as she watched him get escorted inside. His desperate cries went silent the second the jail’s doors slid shut.

She entered the apartment to see Levi doing the dishes. He glanced over his shoulder when she stepped further inside.

“Hey.” she greeted.

He watched her remove her outerwear for a moment before facing the dishes once more.

“Hey.” he responded.

As she hung up her scarf and cloak, he asked, “Short shift?”

“Yeah.”

She seated herself at the dining table with a huff, hastily setting her bag down before her.

She held out her arms-stretching them out-before settling in her seat. Her hand held up her chin as she leaned on her elbows—watching him.

As much as she internally complained about him always being in uniform, it never failed to make her feel some type of way whenever she saw him in it. The simple faded gray dress-shirt, white ascot tie and long dark brown boots. It suited him so well, she couldn’t help but admire him.

It didn’t help that his rolled up sleeves showcased the veins running down his forearms whenever he placed the dishes onto the dish rack. Or that the window above the sink seemed to cast a faint glow over his dark hair.

“You came for lunch?” she inquired.

He nodded, “Yeah, I gotta go back in a bit.”

He then added, almost as an afterthought, “Finished your leftovers.”

She smiled a bit, “That’s good.”

She leaned back in her seat, her arms slowly slipping around herself as she let herself get lost in her head for a moment. The sound of the dishes calming to her ears, allowing her to relax—or at least that’s what she thought. Nothing to do with the 5’3” male being near.

She absentmindedly chewed at her bottom lip before glancing at him.

“Guess who I saw today.”

“Who.”

“Carter.”

The sound of running water in the sink abruptly vanished and he was facing her, “What?”

Something about the look in his eyes felt downright murderous.

She struggled to find her words, “N-no, I mean-don’t worry. It was on my way back from Pennsforth, I went there after work for some shopping but-I passed the jail. I hadn’t meant to take that route but I thought it would be shorter than the local one so.. I saw him. I saw him through the fence around the jail, he was getting pushed around in a wheelchair.”

She fiddled with her shirt-sleeves anxiously, “I guess he can’t walk now.. I wonder how that happened.”

There was a moment’s pause before he muttered, “I wonder.”

She watched him resume completing the dishes with growing uncertainty. Normally his terse words would’ve been easy to brush off but.. there was something off about it. His tone was too crisp, as if mad. In fact, he sounded livid.

He was even washing the dishes with a different vigor.

Her mind suddenly wandered back to the day she’d awoken in the Infirmary—after getting beat up by Carter. She briefly remembered Monty telling her that Carter was crippled now, and-oddly enough-Keith had unpromptedly asked her if she was close with Captain Levi.

She hadn’t gotten the chance to answer his question because Imada had interrupted.

But.. Imada had also asked her about her and Captain Levi’s relationship that day. She never told her why she asked.

How could it be that two of my friends asked me about him the same day—when they’ve never questioned me about him before?

There had to be some common denominator she was missing.

A memory suddenly flashed before her mind—the memory of when Levi returned her pocket knife to her in the Infirmary. She had seen his hand that day, it’d been completely marked up. His knuckles had been chafed and bruised in a way that didn’t happen unless..

Her eyes widened in realization.

Maybe Keith asking wasn’t so unprompted after all.

“It was you.” her voice came out unsteady.

Despite his back being to her, she caught him momentarily freeze.

“It was you, wasn’t it? You broke his legs?”

He turned off the sink, keeping his back to her as he placed the last dish onto the rack. He placed his hands on the edge of the counter, letting his head fall downward slightly as he kept his eyes trained to the window before him.

“Do you think I was wrong.” His voice devoid of emotion.

She stared at his back, the outline of his defined shoulders becoming more prominent within his shirt. He was tense.

She stood up so fast that her chair skidded back.

She didn’t think when she wrapped her arms around his torso, pressing her face to his firm back. Her eyes squeezed shut as she held in a sob.

“Thank you.” she whispered.

I wish I met you sooner.

He was still as her arms tightened around him. Emotion racked through her body and she harshly bit into her lower lip as result–refusing to cry.

If I met you in the Underground, would you have protected me the same?

There’d been so many times in the Underground where she’d been scared senseless–no one to rely on but herself. It’d been so, so hard.

There’d been so many times where she’d cried herself to sleep, wishing that there was someone-anyone-to help her. Someone strong enough to stop her pursuers from coming after her again and again. She just wanted the thugs to stop. She just wanted to stop running.

Then, she just wanted everything to stop.

If she didn’t exist, then her problems would cease to exist. The thugs, the hunger and the pain of hopeless memories. She wouldn’t have to run anymore.

But it was those thoughts. Those dark, wicked thoughts that eventually gave her confidence. If she died, then those disgusting thugs would win. She’d be another innocent lost to the darkness. Food for the rats.

If no one was coming to save her, then so be it. She’d become strong enough to save herself.

The day she made that resolve had been the day she disassociated from being a kid. Her weakness became her strength. Being small, frail and alone meant being invisible. She could use that to her advantage.

And she did, the day she snuck onto a cart going aboveground.

Meeting Kate aboveground had gradually allowed her to feel like a kid again. Kate had made her realize that not all humans were bad–but that thought quickly sunk when she died. The day Kate died, the dark thoughts came back with a renewed vigor. She was back at square one.

She vowed to never rely on anyone again. To be her only protector.

And to avenge Kate.

Her walls had been sky high when she joined the training corps. She’d given everyone the cold shoulder–everyone but Imada. Imada’s weird persistence at hanging out with her had forced her to gradually change. It wasn’t like Imada was super nice to her or anything, she simply saw through Devon. She saw through all the pain, hurt and hate.

It became harder and harder for Devon to ignore someone who hadn’t done anything wrong to her. Then before she knew it, Keith started to stick around and then Monty. Despite being one of the first ‘ones’ in their group, she’d been the last to open up. But even in her friendships, she never allowed herself to be too vulnerable. Always making sure that she was the one to be their shoulder to lean on, rarely letting it be the other way around.

But this… for the first time-in a long time-she didn’t have to be her own protector.

He avenged her.

She felt him stiffen in her arms and she immediately released him. A rush of embarrassment flooding through her when she realized what she’d just done.

She stepped back, “S-sorry.” her voice came out small.

She faced sideways when she felt him turn around. She quickly blinked several times, fighting the tears that were on the verge of slipping down her face.

Just as she raised her hand to check for tears, he caught her wrist.

He pulled her against him–easily doing so by winding his free arm around her waist. His hand on her wrist slid up her forearm, past her elbow to her shoulder before settling on the crown of her head to draw her closer.

She let out a short gasp before melting into him when she inhaled his clean, eucalyptus scent. Something about it so oddly reassuring that she didn’t get the chance to become hyper aware of their closeness just yet.

She twisted her face into his chest, her head fitting perfectly into the space underneath his chin. His presence was so strong, so calming—her heart tugged some more when she realized it was this feeling. This feeling her mind and body had been chasing after unknowingly.

This feeling of safety… the feeling of not being alone.

His fingers slowly ran down the length of her hair before pausing when he felt something wet touch his skin. He glanced down to see a couple tears streaming down her face.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured.

She hesitated, seconds passing as she deliberated.

His voice grew stern, “Tell me.”

She turned her face further into him and his arm around her waist tightened.

“Tell me.”

“It’s embarrassing.” she mumbled.

He exhaled, “Even better.”

She let out a small laugh, “Now I’m never gonna tell you.”

His hand stroking her hair suddenly went around her shoulders–pressing her front closer into his chest.

He muttered into her temple, “If you don’t tell me I’ll never let you go.”

His words felt like an electric current to her body and she suddenly became highly aware of their proximity. This had to be the most she’s ever touched him at once. Her heart rate picked up.

Suddenly someone knocked rather loudly at the front door and she jolted apart from him.

She saw his jaw clench as he eyed the door warily.

“Go to your room.”

She complied-walking swiftly into her room and closing the door behind her. She waited a moment before pressing her ear to the door to hear the front door close.

She popped her head from her room, “Who was it?”

He threw the newspaper onto the coffee table, “The newspaper boy. I told the brat he doesn’t need to knock, he can just slip the damn thing under the door.”

She laughed, “I told you his knock is startling.”

Levi glanced down at his pocket watch before looking at her. Something in his countenance was different than before.

“Devon, there’s something I need to tell you.”

She blinked, suddenly alert. “Yes?”

“I.. I’m leaving tomorrow, for another mission,” His voice felt empty, “We’re set to leave at dawn.”

His statement shouldn’t have hit her the way it did. She knew she’d indirectly told him that she would appreciate a warning before he left but... this felt.. harsher somehow.

“It was decided this morning.” his voice was hollow.

She was speechless. Her arms suddenly felt weak at her sides.

It was too soon…

“Hey.”

Her head jerked up to see that he stood closer now. A mere few inches separating them–now an inch less since he’d just taken another step towards her.

“I’m still gonna come tonight–to your little bookstore thing. Might be a bit late but.. I’m still gonna make it, alright?”

His dark gray eyes were tentative as he scanned her face. All she needed to do was hold his gaze for longer than a millisecond to see she wasn’t the only one torn apart by the news–but she couldn’t.

She looked down. He saw her collarbones protrude as she swallowed hard.

“Alright.” she choked out.

His hand twitched at his side.

“I.. must go now.” his deep voice murmured aloud–trying to remind himself but he was stuck in a trance. He couldn’t pry his eyes off of her.

Just as he was about to take another step towards her, her head snapped up. Her eyes were narrow as she met his gaze.

“You have to come tonight.” she demanded.

The end of his lip tipped up a miniscule, “Yes ma’am.”

Before she had the chance to stare in awe, he turned around. He briskly grabbed his scout regiment jacket off the chair before slipping out the front door.

She shouldn’t have done that. That being drinking as much alcohol as she did—especially considering it was her first time drinking.

It’d been the first thing she did once she entered the bookstore. Larsa had been offering a glass to everyone on entry and she’d taken the glass without a second's hesitance.

At first, Devon hoped it would take the edge off. But then she kept drinking more… and more… and more.

Because she kept thinking of him.

And thinking of him made her sad. She couldn’t be sad at this event now, could she?! It was time for celebration—so many sales, yearly goal made, yada yada yada—woohoo! Hurrah! Celebration time!

No time to be sad—absolutely none.

She was silently laughing to herself when someone lightly touched her back.

She swiveled around to see Jack looking down at her with concern.

“You good?” he asked.

She smiled brightly, “I’m perfect.”

She tilted her head, “Did I mention that your hair looks great like that?”

He’d gelled his hair back for the event, leaving two strands to dangle handsomely over his forehead.

His brows furrowed, “Yeah, like twice.”

Shit. I need to reel it in.

Her smile dampened slightly before she subtly shook her head. She straightened, turning her head to glance around the room.

Larsa had cleared one area of the bookstore and moved all the desks into long tables. She’d lit every candle in the bookstore and more—to make the store as brightly lit as possible. She’d pinned a large red blanket to one wall to make it the background for her makeshift ‘stage’. At the center of the stage resided a violinist, playing the most tasteful tune.

The violinist was a relative of Larsa’s; she'd sent him to the stage after her speech. She was nowhere to be seen now-probably off somewhere organizing the food arrangements-leaving everyone to converse animatedly in the meantime.

She smiled once more, “Larsa’s speech was really good, wasn’t it?”

Jack swallowed, not used to seeing her rather knee-weakening smile this often, “Uh—yes, it was good, great even, b-but w-why are you-“

He flushed when he realized he was stammering horribly.

“Why am I what?” she gently prompted him to finish.

He adjusted his tie, not meeting her eyes, “Nothing, nothing.”

She didn’t think too much of it, instead raising her wine glass to his.

“Cheers?”

He withdrew his glass, “To what?”

She shrugged, “A good life?”

He tilted his head, a playful smile on his lips, “That’s too vague.”

She tapped her finger on the glass, “Hmm.. cheers to not… missing those who we care about too much.”

He assessed her carefully, “Hm, I’ll take it.”

They raised their glasses simultaneously, hitting each other's glass with a satisfying ‘clink’.

She took a sip before tilting her head back to down it all—only for her wrist to get caught in a firm grip.

She glanced up to see Jack holding her arm.

“Wait—how many glasses have you had?” he asked.

She offered him a shy smile before laughing. She used her free hand to pluck the drink from her restrained hand.

“That’s a secret, but if you're worried I’ll only take one more sip.”

His eyes widened as she did as promised.

He released her wrist, “Devon.” he reprimanded, “Isn’t it your first time drinking?”

She set the glass down on a nearby counter. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand, holding in her unreasonable laughter all the while.

“I don’t know.” she said, before walking off.

Just as she decided she would make rounds through the tables, Iris called out her name.

She spun around to see Iris walking arm and arm with a taller male. Iris was beaming.

“Devon! I love your dress.”

Devon glanced down at her dress-forgetting what it looked like for a second-before offering Iris a blazing smile, “Thank you!”

Iris giggled before glancing towards the male beside her, “Devon, there’s someone I want you to meet. This is my husband, Edmund.”

Devon glanced up to look at him. Edmund was blonde, with kind brown eyes. He wore a simple green dress-shirt, buttoned up to the collar and light brown pants. He offered her a small smile, before looking back at his wife.

“Ah, Devon—the most recent hire, right?”

Iris tugged at their intertwined arms, “Yes, I’ve mentioned her several times before–don’t you pay attention when I talk?” she whined.

“Yes yes, I promise I do. I was just clarifying.”

Iris released his arm and crossed her own.

He turned towards her, easily looping his arm back through hers.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He teased her.

She continued to pout, “You don’t listen when I talk!”

“I do listen!” He insisted.

Devon quickly held out her hands, laughing at the scene before her.

“Please, please, it’s no big deal—truly. You guys make quite the entertaining pair.”

Iris blushed while Edmund chuckled, “Thank you, Devon.”

“You're welcome.” she said, before sending the couple off with a warm smile and a lame excuse of having to use the restroom.

She slowly made her way to the bathroom, only to end up stopping in front of the violinist. She watched him from aside, slipping her arms around herself as she let herself get lost into its magnetic tune.

The young teen performing caught her gaze and nodded in appreciation. Before she could do anything to return his gratitude the nerves in her body thrummed to life.

“Devon.”

She froze. Goosebumps arose on her skin as she turned on her heel.

There he was.

His dark hair in its typical style, a neat black undercut. A few dark strands framing his forehead as usual. He wore a simple suit. The matching black jacket and dress-pants fit him well, subtly enhancing his slim yet lean frame. The suit jacket was left open, revealing his white dress-shirt and the ascot attached to its collar.

“Levi.” she breathed out.

His sharp gray eyes never left hers, “Don’t look so stunned. I told you I was coming, didn’t I.”

“I know b-but I’ve never seen you in a suit.”

He glanced down at himself before looking back at her, “It can’t be that different.” he muttered.

He looked at her expression a moment longer, then added, “Is it?”

She nodded.

He watched her curiously, “Hm.”

“You look good, Levi.” The words left her lips in the most casual tone.

The remnants of her sober self screamed within her mind. She’d never complimented him outright like that before–and she probably never would’ve without liquid courage in her veins.

He blushed—hard.

He sharply turned his head away, “Tch, you can’t be serious.”

Her brows furrowed, “Why not?”

He met her gaze with bitterness, “Do you see yourself right now—“

Before she could question his words, Piper appeared before them.

“Hi again.” Piper greeted them.

Piper had left her ginger hair down-for once-and wore a lovely lilac purple dress. They’d already spoken earlier in the event but the male who followed closely behind her—she had yet to meet him.

Piper glanced Levi’s way, “It’s good to see you again.”

“I hope you mean that.”

Devon’s eyes widened as she shot Levi a look.

Did he just try to make a joke?

His expression was still as stony as ever.

Piper let out a short laugh, “Of course! All is in the past. I just wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”

“Anything for my fiancé.”

She swallowed, forcing herself to act natural by smiling at his response instead of turning her head to stare at him.

“I see you finally bought her a ring.” Piper commented.

He nodded, “Looks stunning on her, doesn’t it.”

That simple comment shouldn’t have made her heart leap the way it did. She blamed it on the drinks in her system.

“It does.” Piper agreed, a small smile on her lips.

She glanced at the curly, brown haired male to her right before facing them once more.

“Devon, Levi, this is my husband. James.”

James smiled—exposing his perfect teeth and dimples as he reached out to shake Devon’s hand.

“Good to meet you, Devon.”

She returned his hand shake with a firm one of her own.

“You as well.” she returned his smile.

He then reached out to shake Levi’s hand and Levi shook it. She could already imagine Levi planning his next bathroom visit to wash his hands.

“Levi,” James spoke a bit too giddily, “I truly have so much respect for you, sir—for fighting for humanity the way you do.”

Suddenly her eyes widened when she realized that she hadn’t told Levi that everyone at her job knew about him–who he was. He hadn’t ever explicitly asked her to hide his career from others or anything but she knew he hated the attention that came from it, so she tried to keep it to herself as long as she could.

James continued, “You ought to get more recognition for what you do out ther–”

Levi cut him off with a crisp, “Recognition does nothing for me.”

He cut Devon a side glance before adding-a bit quietly, “But thanks.”

James let out an awkward laugh, “Of course. I can’t believe I got the chance to meet you anyway.”

Saving Levi from having to respond, Devon jumped in, “It’s nice for us to get to meet you as well! I’ve always wanted to see what Piper’s husband looked like.”

James chuckled, “Ha, really? Does she talk about me that much?”

Piper squinted, “You wish.”

Devon laughed before continuing on with a bit of small talk. After a moment of light conversation, Piper and James dismissed themselves to greet others since-like Levi-James had arrived late.

Once it was just them, she quickly turned to face him, “Sorry, I should’ve told you earlier. It completely slipped my mind but they know now–my coworkers know about your job.”

“It’s fine,” he muttered flatly. “When did you tell them?”

“I didn’t. Larsa already knew, so she brought it up in front of them all the day I thought I was fired.”

She absentmindedly twisted the ring on her finger, “Larsa's husband was a Scout so.. I guess she keeps up with those kinds of things.”

He didn’t miss her use of ‘was’ in that statement.

He was quiet for a moment before asking flatly–without a hint of doubt, “Piper’s husband is a lawyer, isn’t he.”

Her eyes widened in astonishment, “Y-yes, how did you know?”

“Only lawyers shake hands with people like that.”

“And how do you know that?” she pried lightheartedly.

“Been around too many people.”

“And yet you still don’t have any social skills.” she teased in a sing-song tone.

His eyes narrowed further, “Tch. Yours aren’t that great either. You only get away with it cuz you smile too much.”

She laughed, “Maybe you should try it sometime.”

“Hell no.”

Her and Levi had gotten separated when Larsa asked her to help set up the table.

She carefully set down the big pot of stew before glancing over her shoulder to check on Levi. He was half sitting, half-leaning against a smaller bookshelf with his arms crossed–looking as moody as can be. He turned his head to see Jack approaching him.

If she thought he looked moody before, it looked a lot worse now. Funnily enough, despite Levi having to look up at Jack–Jack seemed to grow nervous under his stare.

Devon smirked as she watched the two exchange a few words–dying to know exactly what they were talking about until she felt a firm finger on her chin redirect her to face Larsa beside her.

Larsa released her chin, “He can fend for himself. Now go get me napkins from the pantry.”

Devon blushed, “Okay, okay.”

Larsa shook her head as she watched Devon quickly scurry away.

Devon squatted before the shelf, careful not to let her dress touch the dusty floor as she checked the bottom shelf of the pantry.

“Don’t see it.” she muttered to herself.

She stood upright–it seemed she’d done so a little too fast because her head was spinning. She swallowed, her hand going to her temple as she blinked several times–trying to get her eyesight to focus.

Once she regained her focus, she gave the pantry one last scan before stepping out. She froze when she saw Levi walking towards her from the other end of the hallway, his gray eyes locking onto her the second she stepped out. It seemed he’d followed her.

He stood before her in seconds.

His dark gray eyes grew wary as he searched her face, “You–”

“Thank god you're here.” she muttered, unaware that she’d interrupted him.

She hastily ran a hand through her locks, “I can’t find the napkins in the pantry, can you help me?”

He eyed her for a moment. She looked awfully stressed for something as simple as napkins but he went with it.

“Sure.”

He walked past her into the pantry and she quickly followed him inside. He glanced around, meticulously looking through each row the same way she had when she didn’t find them at first glance.

He moved to look at the other shelf and she stepped back to give him some room–only to stumble into the pantry door and swiftly have it shut behind her. The locking mechanism within the door made an audible ‘click’ sound.

They both froze.

All the light in the pantry was gone since the open door provided them with light from the hallway.

“Shit.” Devon mumbled before blindly touching the door until she found the doorknob. She gave it a turn despite knowing the result would be useless.

“Shit, shit. shit.” she muttered.

She heard him exhale and she interpreted it as him sighing. A pang of guilt coursed through her.

“Sorry.”

“Devon–” you don’t have to apologize, is what he intended to say until he was cut off by the sound of her slamming her hand on the door several times.

“HELLO! ANYONE HERE!!! WE’RE STUCK IN HERE!! HELP PLEASE!!” she yelled out.

She knew the bathroom was nearby so maybe someone in the bathroom could help them.

She glanced over her shoulder to address Levi, though she couldn’t see him through the complete darkness.

“You think they’ll hear me if I keep yelling?” she asked.

“Not over that violin.”

Her eyes widened, she’d completely forgotten about that.

“Damn.” she muttered, defeatedly.

A moment of silence ensued. She kept her eyes glued to the narrow space under the door–only a crack of light spilling through.

“I can kick it open.” his deep voice sounded tense, “You just have to back u-”

Her brows sky-rocketed as she turned around, “N-no.” Did he want to get out that badly?

“That won’t be necessary,” she continued, “Larsa knows I’m here so if I don’t come back soon she’s gonna check on me.”

The only response she got was a faint grumble.

Silence followed for a moment after–making the air grow thicker by the second. Making it hard for her to breathe. She swallowed hard, trying to bring moisture to her dry throat but the sound only seemed to echo in the dark. Her eyes still hadn’t adjusted to the darkness.

The darkness surrounding them only made her thoughts go a mile per minute. It reminded her of the days she’d simply close her eyes and think while laying in bed–in attempt to lull herself to sleep the day's sleep didn’t come as easily.

Those days didn’t happen as often now, but she knew they would come.

They always happened whenever Levi left.

The first few days after he’d leave she’d always twist and turn in bed, not knowing what was agitating her until pictures… mental images of him dying would gnaw at her mind. It was humorous at first, but then slowly she’d start to believe it. She’d convince herself that this was it. Her brain was giving her premonitions and that the last time she saw him would be the last she ever saw of him.

Sometimes when they got really bad, she’d have to sit up and catch her breath in order to stop an anxiety attack from occurring. But most of the time, she’d just convince herself. She’d convince herself that she was being ridiculous, that Levi didn’t earn his worldwide nickname of being the strongest soldier for fun. He was the smartest person she knew.

And yet, that didn’t stop the knot from forming within her stomach the second he’d told her he was leaving again. She thought him telling her beforehand would help–it was supposed to–but instead it was worse. Exponentially worse.

All the thoughts she’d irresponsibly relied on the alcohol to push away came crashing down on her. It was too dark for her to try focus on anything else. And the silence..

The silence was deafening–she couldn’t take it.

“I-I think about you, you know.” she blurted out, trying to keep her voice even but her heart was racing, “W-when you’re gone, I.. I get really worried.”

She shook her head, “I know I shouldn’t… I know I don’t need to, but.. I can’t help it.”

“Sometimes…” she drifted off-knowing he wouldn’t like her next words but she decided to tell him anyway. She had to–or at least her drunken mind felt like it did.

“Sometimes I wish I was a Scout so I could see what’s going on. I.. I think I’d be on your squad so… and if I was on your squad I’d do the same thing you do to me. I’d-I’d protect you.” she rambled.

“That’s a stupid reason to want to be a Scout.”

Her heart raged within her chest as he continued, “I don’t need someone to protect me.”

“You’re lying.” she responded impulsively. She was all too familiar with those words.

“Why would I lie.” his tone was clipped.

“B-because everyone needs someone–family, friends, a partner–everyone needs someone.” she insisted.

He was quiet for a moment, “And why is that.”

“Because… because having someone.. makes it better. It makes you feel better. It makes you feel less alone.”

“And what if it doesn’t make you feel better.” his tone was ice-cold, “What if it makes you feel worse? What if wanting that shitty ‘someone’ makes you act irrationally–makes you loose all fucking sense.”

His tone was full of spite, “What if it makes you wanna do shit you know you shouldn’t.”

His onslaught of demanding questions made her head spin as she tried to keep up. The hammering of her heartbeat only seemed to grow louder within her ears.

“I-I don’t understand. What.. what do you want to do?”

Suddenly his hand was on her waist–his grip unyielding as he backed her into the door. She gasped when the back of her head hit the door’s hard material, only to lose all focus when Levi’s forehead met hers. She suddenly wished she could see him.

His nose grazed hers. His ragged breaths traveled down her skin–making her shiver as she sensed his desperation. Just as he tilted his face into hers, he stopped.

“You’re–you’re drunk.” his voice was hoarse.

She was rendered speechless. Yes, it was true but–who cares about the raging headache, the cold-sweat, her scratchy throat, she just wanted–

“I can smell it on you.” he muttered, a hard edge to his words.

Before she could even try to speak–a sharp buzzing sound suddenly rang through her ears. Any shapes she thought she could make out in the dark became unfocused and her thoughts began to spin incoherently in her mind. It didn’t help that ever since her head connected with the door it’d been throbbing like a bitch. And her skin–her skin felt so goddamn hot.

But something within her was burning even hotter–in places that she hadn’t thought possible.

His chest was rigid underneath her shaky hands. His entire frame taut with tension as he struggled—struggled to restrain himself.

His hand at her waist gradually tightened–eventually grasping a fistful of her dress so tightly that the sound of its seams tearing apart could be heard over his haggard breathing.

The pain of his grip brought her back to life and she instinctively grabbed his arms.

“L-levi.” she gasped out, wincing so hard that her body jerked forward. She would’ve fallen if his forehead hadn’t been pressed against hers.

He immediately released her, staggering backwards a couple steps only to freeze when he heard the sound of her sliding down against the door.

He needed to get as far away from her as possible—so he could think straight, but she couldn’t even stand on her own right now.

He scoffed through his teeth before grabbing her arms and pulling her upright against the door. She flinched as her back scraped the wood. Her head was still spinning.

“What—you can’t stand straight now?” he hissed, his grip on her arms tightening momentarily.

She was too dizzy to speak so she nodded—inadvertently brushing her forehead against his.

He suddenly pressed his forehead to her temple, forcing her to face aside.

“You're so unfair.”

She shivered at the harshness of his low tone.

“You just had to drink, huh?”

He went on, “Is that why you were smiling so much? That why you complimented me?”

He spoke through gritted teeth, “That why you put on that fucking dress?”

Her breath hitched.

She froze when she felt his hand at her waist once more. His hand slowly sliding down her side, stopping at her hip—smoothing out the dress he’d nearly teared moments ago.

“I’m convinced… your seamstress is out to get me.” his deep voice completely out of breath.

Red. Red was the color she was wearing. It was the color her lips were painted and the color her cheeks kept turning whenever she glanced his way.

Suddenly her hands found his chest and she pushed at him weakly.

“Levi,” her voice was strained, “I-I don’t feel so good.”

Her quietly spoken words brought some of his sense to the surface. His arm slipped around her the second she fell into him. Her face in his neck.

“Where’s Larsa?” she asked faintly.

And almost as if on cue, the sound of the door unlocking was audible.

He kept her close against him as he stepped back, giving the door enough room to open. 

Larsa stood in the doorway, her eyes widening the instant she saw them.

“My lord! What happened?”

“We were looking for your damn napkins and got locked in here.”

His hand at the back of her head slid down to her nape, “I need to get her home. She drank too much.”

Levi ran his hands over his face before glancing back at her.

Devon lay on the bed. Her hair splayed out on the pillow behind her as she lay unconscious. Her red dress felt bright in the dimly lit room.

She’d passed out the second Larsa opened the pantry door.

He sat on the edge of the bed, a bucket at his feet in case she needed it. Lucky for him, she hadn’t vomited yet. He’d fully expected her to when he was carrying her home-but she hadn’t.

He stared at her, relief pouring into him as he noticed some color returning to her skin. Her breathing sounded almost normal.

His eyes easily drifted lower to her chest—the slow rise and fall of her breasts in sync with her breathing. The thin material of her dress only seemed to emphasize the natural action.

He threw the blanket over her.

He never wanted to see her in red again. The color was downright lethal on her. It was a safety hazard. It caught too much attention.

Like his own.

He heard her shift and he quickly turned towards her.

She placed her hand on his forearm, “Levi?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

He looked down at her. She was blinking several times as if in a daze.

Her brows furrowed, “Are you real?”

The corner of his lip lifted slightly, “Yes. I am real.”

She squeezed his arm as if to make sure.

“How do you feel?”

“Like trash.” she mumbled.

She closed her eyes and turned her face into the pillow. Her knees curled into her chest under the blanket-her hand falling from his arm in the process.

She looked sleepy.

He wondered if she would remember anything. The words he’d spoken in the dark. The idea made his face heat up.

He reached out and gently pushed her hair out of her face. He might’ve braided it for her if she was capable of sitting up but she looked too comfortable now.

“Devon, I’m gonna go now, alright.” he muttered—more to himself than her.

He ought to get to Scout headquarters soon.

Just as he moved to get up, a hand clasped one of his suit lapels.

He glanced over to see a sheen of panic in her sleepy eyes, “Y-your leaving?” she whispered.

He was quiet for a moment before nodding.

She attempted to sit up, her arms shaking as she struggled.

He placed a hand on her shoulder-urging her to lay back.

“It’s fine. Just sleep.”

“No-“ she croaked out.

He slipped his arm around her back, swiftly bringing her upright. Her breath hitched.

He could tell she was still a bit disoriented.

“What is it.”

“I have to tell you..” she stared at his shoulder.

“Hm?”

She blinked slowly several times, attempting to fight the sleep that was eager to keep her under.

“I’ll kill— kill you if you die.” she’d meant to threaten him but the words came out meek on her lips.

He chuckled. A handsome sound that made her insides melt into a puddle. If only she wasn’t so tired…

She placed her head on his chest, “I’m serious..” she murmured.

His hand smoothed down her hair, “I know.”

He smelled so good, so clean. She didn’t want him to go.

“There’s this tea shop…” she mumbled sleepily, “In Pennsforth I-I have to take you…when you come back.”

“Okay.” He didn’t tell her that he’d already been.

“They have a lot of stray cats..” she rambled.

“Mhm.” he continued to stroke her hair.

“Maybe we could get food..”

She was quiet for a long moment after that. Her mind easily succumbed to his familiar scent and relaxing touch. His warm presence magnetic to her comfort starved body.

He gently laid her down, tucking the blanket at her sides. He hoped-for her sake-that she didn’t feel too sick tomorrow.

He stood over her. His chest and shoulder aching from her lack of touch. He hadn’t been ready to pry her small, warm body away from himself.

His knuckles skimmed her cheekbone.

“I’ll be back,” he murmured, “I was promised a date after all.”

#levi #levi heichou #levi headcanons #levi aot #levi attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi angst #attack on titan #aot #levi x reader #levi x oc #levi scenarios #aot fanfiction #levi fanfic #levi ship #levi fluff #captain levi #attack on titan smut #attack on titan hot #levi smut #attack on titan scenarios #levi x fem!reader #levi imagine #levi x y/n #levi x you #levi x hange #levi hot #aot smut #levi x mc #levi drabble

[magicalqueennightmare]

Sins & Amends Chapter 51

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary/Warnings: You and Billy are working your way back to each other

It seemed that the tension between Frank and Billy needed you in the middle for it to finally break. After the blow up at your apartment resulting in you in tears and the two of them finally laying their cards on the table everything started to run more smoothly in your life. 

There was an understanding between them now. You knew Frank couldn't forgive Billy for the past anymore than Billy could ever forgive himself but when you would see the two of them together doing something as simple as drinking a beer you had hope for the thought of having them both in your future.

-----------------

There were still times that doubt reared it's ugly head into your mind. You'd had to push back going car shop because you'd had to cover someone's shift at work then Frank and Billy had both been working so much they hadn't had a full day off.

Karen had offered to go with you but the honest truth like it or not if car dealers see two women they try their best to fuck them over. Wasn't like you hadn't went long without a car anyways. A little longer wouldn't hurt.

You'd taken the advantage of a rare weekend off to spend a saturday with Adi. The two of you had met Karen at the aquarium which was a must for Adi then ended up going to see a movie of her picking while Karen went to run some errands.

------------

When you put her to bed that night she'd yawned sleepily and asked "Mommy can we see daddy tomorrow?" You thought about it for a second. He should be off since the following day was Sunday.Hell Karen had taken them all lunch while you and Adi were at the movies which had resulted in you getting a text from Frank that read "Well Bill didn't get to see you and little bit so now he'll pout the rest of the damn day" 

Not to mention Adi hadn't seen Billy in a couple days, not due to any fault of his but because his schedule had been insane and so had yours and Karen's so neither of you had gotten a chance to take her by the Homeland office. "I'll call daddy to tell him you want to see him tomorrow ok baby?" She nodded and grabbed Coco "Love you mommy" "Love you too baby"

------------------

You pulled Adi's door shut and walked into the living room to put away the few toys she'd left out. Your phone was laying on the table so you grabbed it to see you had a text from Billy "If you and Adi aren't busy tomorrow morning I'd love to take the two most beautiful women in New York out for breakfast"

You rolled your eyes even though your stomach flipped slightly before hitting his number to call him back. After two rings he answered "Didn't expect a call but I'm not complaining" you smiled then said "You actually have good timing. Adi told me when I was putting her to bed she wanted to see you tomorrow"

You could hear the smirk in his voice when he said "See me and my babygirl were already on the same page. What about you? Do you want to see me considering Karen is the one that bought lunch" you shook your head because you knew what he was asking even reading between the lines it was clear "I wasn't avoiding you Billy. There's a new Disney movie out and what can I say our daughter loves giving my paychecks to the rat"

He let out a breath that sounded like he was relieved before saying "Well you could've come by before the movies. I would've gave you the money" "Billy you give me more than enough already not to mention what's still in the bank" since finding out about Adi he'd started buying anything she needed and giving you money every time he got paid despite your protests that you could handle your bills on your own.

A silence fell back between the two of you heavy enough you could feel it over the phone. Hard to believe this was the same man you'd spent so much of your adult life with, the father of your child yet now the two of you had trouble talking at times. Hell it had gotten where it seemed talking between him and Frank had become easier than it seemed between you and him.

It was hard being close to Billy and yet having to force yourself to keep enough distance between you and him. You knew he wanted to take things slow to make sure everything was how they needed to be but God a big part of you wanted to tell him the way things needed to be was him there with you and Adi. Not blocks away in that little one bedroom apartment. 

It didn't help matters that he'd told you he loved you every time you talked since the night he stayed with you.It snapped you out of your own thoughts when he said "I'm just glad that taking Adi to the movies is why you didn't come. I was worried it still might be that other thing"

The other thing being how Frank had busted you out over being jealous towards Dinah. You honestly hadn't thought too much about it. After everything that had happened the night he'd stayed at your place and the morning after a part of you that you hadn't even realized was in chaos had calmed.

"Billy I know you meant everything you said. And yes I want to see you" you finally said after a moment and he chuckled "Good.. I'll be over bright and early" "We'll be waiting" you replied with a smile and started to hang up when he said "Goodnight sweetheart. I love you" like every other time he said it you simply said "Night Billy" and hung up. 

You couldn't say you loved him. He knew you did but god it would only make it hurt worse having to go to sleep without him there. You sighed and stood to head to bed. At least you could get some sleep and maybe come morning you could face him easier.

Billy stared at the phone after he'd hung up. He hated being away from you and Adi. He hated when work drug on, that meant another day he'd go without laying eyes on the two most important people in his life. He hated that he heard you hesitate every time he'd tell you he loved you like you started to say it back but changed your mind.

He clicked his photo album on his phone and scrolled through the pictures of you and Adi. 

One of his favorites was one of Adi where her smile was a mirror of his and she was wearing his leather jacket. The smile might have been his but god that look on her face was all you. She'd been mid saying "Look mommy!" When he'd snapped the photo.

One of his other favorites was one Karen had sent him actually. You were sitting on the couch at your place with Adi curled up next to you. He didn't know what the two of you were doing but you both looked so happy it warmed his heart just seeing it. God he loved the two of you more than life itself. 

He could remember flashes of himself making bad decisions, remember himself doing shit he was ashamed of. Looking at you,the only woman he'd ever loved and his babygirl he couldn't wrap his head around how he'd ever done those things. How he'd put you and Frank's family, everyone at risk. He didn't know how he'd gotten this second chance, not only with you either.

The memory of the way Frank had teased him about quality over quantity when the two of you had first shifted your relationship into more than friends popped into his head and he laughed despite himself. "Man Bill you finally got a good one don't fuck it up" "I don't plan to Frankie. Believe me. I know she's a keeper"

He wanted to be laying on your bed while you curled up on his chest and Adi slept one room over not blocks away from the two of you but for now he'd have to be grateful for the fact that he'd be seeing you both come morning. Life could be a lot worse.

When you woke up the sun was just creeping through the small crack in your curtain and you started to pull the blanket up and roll over but you remembered that Billy was coming over to take you and Adi for breakfast.

You knew Billy's bright and early had always meant just that so since Adi still had about another hour of sleep in her you figured you could get a shower and pick her some clothes out before he got there.

Once you were dressed in leggings and a sweater dress you simply put enough product in your hair you could wear it down without it blowing away and did simple makeup. You looked cute but not like you were desperate for attention or anything.

--------------

You walked into Adi's room to pick her some clothes out for the day and grinned when you saw she was waking up "Hey pumpkin. I got a surprise for you!"  That made her wakeup fully and she was watching you go through her drawers to find clothes "What?" 

You found her favorite cooler weather outfit which consisted of black leggings and a dark pink long sleeve shirt that had two black birds on it that you'd initially bought without thinking until Frank had reminded you of his and Billy's call signs and it seemed that revelation made Adi love the shirt ever more "Cause it's got daddy and uncle Frank on it"

You turned back to her, clothes in hand and heard a knock on the door. "Wanna go see who that is?" You held out your arms as you asked and she jumped into them.

You laid her clothes down on her bed then walked back into the living room "We're coming!" You called out so not only Adi knew whoever was at the door was expecting her but so Billy knew you were both awake.

----------------

When you opened the door Billy was standing there with a huge smile. "Daddy!" Adi screamed and both you and Billy had to lurch towards each other so she could make the leap into his arms. 

He walked in with her wrapped securely around him and winked at you "Too bad you're not this happy to see me Y/N" you shook your head and smiled before Adi started asking him if he could spend some time with her. "Actually baby I was wondering if you and mommy could come to breakfast with me and I know you went to the aquarium yesterday but I'm sure if you don't want to go back today we can find something fun because I plan to spend all day with you and mommy"

She smiled back at you "Can we?" You nodded "Sounds good baby. We can show daddy all our favorites spots but first we gotta get you dressed" she kissed Billy on the cheek then held her hands out for you to get her.

You got her on your hip then motioned to the living room "Make yourself at home. We'll be out in a few"

-------------

Billy watched as you grabbed everything Adi would need for the day and put it in the little black backpack he knew was for her. You were biting your bottom lip while you did a final mental check list to make sure you hadn't missed anything.

You turned back to look at him where he was sitting with Adi on the couch and smiled. He felt his heart clench at the sight. You looked genuinely happy, like having him and Adi was everything you wanted. He knew the feeling because being with you both made him feel whole like he never had before.

His attention was pulled back to Adi when she asked "Daddy can we go to the aquarium and the zoo?" With those big brown eyes staring up at him it was hard to say anything else then yes but he managed to say "As long as mommy's ok with it I'd love to baby"

You chuckled as you walked over with Adi's jacket in your hands "Aquarium and zoo sounds good to me but first get your jacket on then we need to get some breakfast in you little miss" 

You helped Adi slip her jacket on then she looked up at him "Pick me up daddy!" He gladly leaned down and plucked her up off the floor then looked back at you "Ready to go darling?" He noticed a light blush color your cheeks as you said "lead the way" and motioned to the door.

---------------

Breakfast went extremely well. In fact nearly everyone in the diner had commented on how cute of a family you had. Kaitlyn had even insisted on getting a photo of the three of you which you sent to Billy's phone so he'd have a copy. 

Once Adi was through with her pancakes you cut your eyes at Billy and smiled "So daddy zoo first or do you want Adi to introduce you to simba and nala first?" 

That patent Russo smirk had slipped onto his face when he glanced down at her "Baby who's simba and nala?" "The sharks!" She replied with a mirror image of his own look. 

He glanced up at you and you shrugged "She loves the sharks and her favorite stuffed animal is a wolf. She's our child after all" your eyes were glued to the two of them. Spending time with them like this? God it felt like the most natural thing on earth. You'd dreamed about this when you were pregnant with Adi but never would've imagined it becoming reality.

"Sharks it is" he said after a moment and Adi climbed up to stand next to him in the booth as she started telling him all about the aquarium while he listened dutifully only taking his attention off her long enough to pay the bill when Kaitlyn bought it to the table.

--------------------

After spending hours at the aquarium while Adi properly acquainted Billy with all of her favorite animals the three of you headed to the zoo like she'd asked. You were walking to the penguin exhibit when Adi tugged on your arm "Mommy will you or daddy carry me?"

Billy winked at you then held his arms out "C'mere babygirl. Daddy will carry you" once she was secure against his chest he barely made it ten feet before her head was over on his shoulder and she was fast asleep.

"Yeah I was expecting that" you said as you reached over to pull her hood up on her head. "Well wanna take her home? We can order pizza or I can cook us some dinner and when she wakes up we can watch a movie with her?" You offered hoping he would want to stay while she napped and weren't disappointed when he nodded "Sounds good to me"

-----------------

After Billy laid Adi down on her bed you pulled the door almost closed then turned to face him with a smile "She'll sleep for about forty five minutes or so" 

His dark eyes watched you closely as he said "Well how should we pass the time then?" You blushed thinking of how many times he'd asked you that in the past then cleared your throat hoping he hadn't seen the initial reaction "Well um we could just talk? Like you've been busy the last week so let's catch up"

His smile was deep enough to reach his eyes when he said "That sounds good to me"

---------------------- 

"Alice looks at me. I look at her and we're both like hell no this isn't even anywhere near our job description" Billy's head fell back with a laugh while you told him about a few of the worst calls you'd went to over the time he wasn't there.

"I've always been so proud of you. Even when me and Frank would be deployed I'd tell everyone my girl was working to save the people of New York" you ducked your head at his words because you could feel just how warm your face was "I've done my best to help who I can. Hell I've put Frank back together more times than I can count"

He ran one finger down the side of your face then hooked it under your chin to tilt your face up to him "You have a habit of always pulling people back from the brink. Even at times that they're too stupid to realize it" his eyes flickered down to your lips then back up again to meet your gaze. You smiled slightly before saying "You know you can kiss me if you want Billy"

"Thank god" he mumbled before quickly leaning in to catch your lips with his own. You laughed lightly against his lips "Billy Russo thanking god. I must be special" he laughed "You're talking I must be losing my touch"

When he slid his tongue into your mouth it took every ounce of control not to deepen the kiss further. Thankfully things went any further you heard Adi holler "Mommy! Daddy!" And both of you froze. Billy dropped his head down and chuckled against your neck "Go ahead sweetheart. I'll be right behind you" you left another quick kiss on his lips before standing up to head to her room.

-------------------

The rest of the evening both yours and Billy's attention was solely on Adi. After she'd woke up from her nap she wanted daddy to play tea party with her and seeing Billy sitting on the floor with a pink tiara on his head while he sipped pretend tea from a cup was a defining moment in your life.

Cooking dinner while Billy helped and played with Adi felt like something out of a dream. After dinner while you bathed Adi Billy had cleaned the kitchen, put Adi's toys away and even had a Disney movie waiting for her.

-----------------

You somehow ended up falling asleep yourself with Adi tucked close enough between you and Billy that both her head and your head was leaned against his left side. Her head was over on his stomach while yours was against his shoulder.

You woke up when the credit music started playing and blinked sleepily up at him. "Sorry we knocked out on you" you whispered and he shook his head "Don't apologize. I had you both cuddled up to me. Why would I complain about that?" You smiled then cut your eyes down at Adi "Awe she looks so comfy I don't want to move her!" 

You slowly slid off the couch then turned to pick her up, being careful not to grab a handful of Billy's shirt by accident. "I'll be right back" you whispered and he nodded "I'll be waiting"

-------------

Billy watched you walk into Adi's room swaying gently back and forth with her on your shoulder. He would've offered to carry her but if he was being honest his left arm was dead from you and her both being asleep on it. Hell the two of you could ask him to cut off that arm and he'd be caught trying it.

He shook it a few times to get the feeling back while he thought over the day. Things had been slowly getting better between the two of you but today showed him just what he'd been missing. He got to spend an entire day with his girls and now had to leave? It didn't seem right.

He was saved from his mind trying to go into overdrive on him by you stepping back out of Adi's room with a small smile. "So I guess you gotta leave?" You seemed almost sad when you asked so he shrugged "I'd ask for the couch but I don't have any clothes here"

"Oh I understand" you said with what he knew was a forced smile. "Can I come by tomorrow?" You rubbed the back of your neck before saying "Um Adi will be at Karen and Frank's. I've got a sixteen hour shift. Six to ten" 

He wanted to offer to come stay at your place with Adi..hell he was her father and had yet to have her overnight. He could understand. The apartment Homeland set him up in wasn't exactly the place he'd want to take her in and out of.

"Well in that case I'll bring you lunch,get dinner with them then I'll come back to the station house and walk you home" when the words left his mouth a smile spread across your face "I'd love that" he realized how late it was getting mixed with how early you had to be to work and tilted his head towards the door "Walk me to the door?" You rolled your eyes but the grin that followed the action told him you liked that he'd asked "Of course"

You waited while Billy grabbed his jacket then he stopped in front of you for a moment. You knew him well enough to know when he wanted to ask something so you said "Go ahead Billy whatever it is"

He looked back towards the couch then cleared his throat "The way you kissed me earlier. It felt amazing but why do you say you want us to be something again and kiss me like that again only to never say you love me out loud?" 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath to keep your voice steady before saying "This is why. I have spent all day with you and Adi. It felt like a fucking dream it was so close to being what I want but now's the part where I have to wake up because you're going to your place and I'm gonna go in there and sleep alone. It hurts being so close to you yet there still being so much room between us. Billy you know how i feel without me breaking my own heart every time I say the words only for you to go home and it not be here"

He nodded those dark eyes never leaving yours before he said "Can I kiss you before I leave?" "Of course" you replied and stepped closer to him. 

The kiss was as if he was trying to pour everything he felt for you into it. You ran your hands up his back feeling the way the muscles moved under his jacket as he deepened the kiss flicking his tongue across your lips for access which you willingly gave.

A low moan fell from your lips when he licked into your mouth at the same time his hands came down to rest on the small of your back holding you flush against him. When both of you finally pulled away your chests were heaving with the force of the kiss.

He leaned down just enough to be eye to eye with you then said "Y/N I love you. You're the only woman I've ever loved. You're the mother of my child. We will be back together hell it's inevitable like Frankie said. Me and you? We were made for each other cause who else could handle us? I don't care if you never say the words to me again because I know you do and sooner or later I won't have to leave but I hope you know my home? It's you and our daughter. No apartment. just the two of you"

You smiled at his words and left another quick kiss on his lips "I'll tell Karen you're coming over for dinner and I'll be looking for you when I get off" he smiled and said "And I'll be right outside the door waiting for you then the very next day you have off me and Frank are taking our lunch hour to go find you a good car if need be" 

Right as Billy walked into the hall he turned around and grinned before saying "Oh yeah Y/N by the way?" 

"What Billy?" You asked with a laugh tugging at your lips before he ever said the next words "I love you beautiful" "Night Billy" "Good Night love. Call if you have any bad dreams" was the last thing he said before stepping onto the elevator.

@intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

#au billy russo #billy russo x y/n #billy russo au #billy russo x you #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #sins and amends masterlist

[kapposuch]

Off The Clock

Rex x Detective!reader

warnings: somewhat suggestive, otherwise none!

god I'm so sorry if this is bad. I'm still down like a dog so I wanted to write dumb drabble about my favourite boy. anyway, try to enjoy, feel free to leave some criticism! have a wonderful day <3

The clock ticking behind you on the wall only added undue pressure to the countdown of the end of your shift. Getting through paperwork on the latest cases, despite how simple they were, was a nightmare, and it made you want to crack your skull. But the simple satisfaction that gave you goosebumps whenever you managed to apprehend suspects and learn the true nature of the crimes you investigated always made it worthwhile. As time ticked by, bit by bit, you were rather shocked to hear a knock at your office door. Despite functioning as an on-call detective, you weren't unopposed to the occasional face-to-face visits you'd receive from some of the Coruscanti clones you worked with closely.

Gradually lifting your gaze, you cleared your throat and spoke enough to ensure your visitor heard. "Doors open, go ahead.” With your confirmation, the door crept open to reveal a fully plastid-clad clone, with the comforting 501st blue you were familiar with. With a softened gaze, you placed your holopad down and pushed back from the desk, still sitting comfortably in your swivel chair. The clone pulled his helmet off, remaining stood by the door. He seemed rather nervous to be speaking to you at such an hour, considering it was getting ever closer to your shifts end.

Taking the lead in the interaction, as you often would, you encouraged him to take a seat, eyes boring holes into his as you read his tense expression and glanced to his pursed lips. Something had certainly happened that he wasn’t confident in voicing to a detective aloud.

“What can I do for you today, Captain?” You questioned, crossing one leg over the other to await a response. Once he sat, he finally met your own eyes, and he relaxed. Rex had an affinity for you, and would always come to you with his problems. Not because you were the best detective he knew of, or that you’d been given high praise from your coworkers, which you had; he came to you because he simply enjoyed you. Your appearance, your presence, and your commandeering personality on the job.

“I’ve got a bit of a case for you. Something to do with a situation Fox doesn’t want to handle since its ‘not his jurisdiction’.” He stated, to which you could only laugh. “Ah, so you mean he doesn’t want to handle a homicide?” You teased, sitting forward and flicking through screens on your holopad, before finally coming to a blank one; the soft, blue screen was pushed towards Rex, whilst you sat back once more. “I don’t blame him. They tend to go on for far longer than his men should have to deal with.” You were rather used to dealing with homicide cases, as it happened to be your forte. The nitty gritty crimes were the ones you handled best, due to your ease in disconnecting with the victims themselves. The same couldn't be said when it came to your connection to the man before you.

Rex gave a calm nod as he watched your movements, his chest heaving as you came closer to him as you pushed items across the desk. He scooped up the holopad, writing down several details Fox had passed through him when bumping into one another in the rare occasion the captain had attended the mess hall. At the bottom of the notes he provided, he would leave a note of Fox’s commlink frequency and office number you’d need for the long day tomorrow. “Something to do with the lower levels. There’s someone running around down there killing dealers without question.” His explanation was pretty simple and quaint, easy enough to digest as to not give you too much to think about before your shift ended. He watched as you nodded in response, keeping his eyes trained on your every movement.

The room fell silent for a few moments as the pair of you simply relished in one anothers company. You’d taken quite a liking to the clone Captain, but never voiced it due to your hazy knowledge of the republic not allowing clones any interpersonal relationships. It was a confining rule, one which you wish didn’t exist, but you couldn’t help but begin berating it as you rapped your fingers against your leg.

The action caught Rex’s attention, brown eyes sliding down your form, from your face to your thigh, covered by smart pant legs. A part of his mind wanted to stare past your clothes, and rest his eyes on the soft skin he could see at your hands, though he quickly chased off his indecent thoughts as you spoke.

“It’s so silly that you’re not allowed relationships.”

He was utterly stunned. His chest seemed to heave at your words as he sucked in a breath, fingers curling into the rim of the helmet he held at his side. What kind of question was that? He wasn’t expecting anything like this from someone he held in such high regards. Of course, he suddenly began opening his mind to other possibilities. Did you like him? Were you simply asking out of curiosity?

Mind spinning, he swallowed hard and lifted his gaze to meet your eyes once again. “Republic property, I suppose. The chancellor is scared that we might end up with morals and lose loyalty if we’re interested in others. Doesn’t stop us though.” He simply responded, aiming to sound as relaxed as possible.

You once again shifted in your chair, sitting forward to rest your elbows on the desk. Your palms met your cheeks and held you up as your eyes flickered between his own. You were almost seeking some sort of emotional response, curious to know if he felt the same as you did. There’d always been something about the blonde clone commander that had you absolutely smitten. Perhaps it was the few times you’d bumped into him off the clock and he’d offered to escort you home despite it being minutes away, or maybe when you’d been to 79’s for celebratory drinks with coworkers who wanted to see if they could pick up a clone for a night of fun, despite how they’d deny it to their superiors the next morning and he’d be there, a few drinks in with a sweet smirk gracing his features. It truly suited him.

“Well now that’s not fair for the people who fall in love with clones, is it?” You retorted with a knowing smile, your head tipping to the left ever so slightly.

Once again, Rex felt his chest grow tight, knowing fine well he’d be in heaps of trouble if he acted on his thoughts. Though, at this point, he didn’t particularly know if he cared. You had worked together on a few cases, especially when they involved situations on Coruscant when Fox’s men were busy elsewhere with senate issues. Seeing you analysing his face whilst you spoke was intimidating, but he certainly didn’t mind it. It made expressing his feelings a little easier, especially after a long day of babysitting Skywalker.

“I suppose not, detective.” He retorts, a somewhat amused smirk reaching his lips after he took a moment to think. You then stood up and made your way to the window, drawing the blinds and collapsing the room into a dim, warming environment. Neither of you seemed to mind.

Once you turned to take in the man before you, you took calm steps back to the desk, sitting on the edge of the sturdy wood, closing the gap between the pair of you.

“No need to be so formal, Rex. I off the clock now.” You stated with a soft chuckle, glad to have had a distraction from the paperwork, and a very much welcome one at that. As you got comfortable at the desk, the pair of you locked eyes for a moment, before Rex finally broke away.

You were rather disheartened by the response to the eye contact, but held nothing against him. He wasn’t to blame, especially not with the possibilities of memory wiping looming over his shoulder if he was found to have relations with you. Though, you were surprised to feel a hand reach up and land rather comfortably on your knee.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want others to fall in love with me. Just makes my job more hectic.”

The room fell silent as you both sat in a pool of emotions, seeming to whirlwind around you. There wasn’t much to say, knowing you’d both just about confessed with little to no words, using proximity and a conversation that danced around the words. Though once the ‘dust’ had settled, you lifted your hand to your knee, meeting his own to lace fingers together. With hands that fit together as if it were a key to a lock, you slid from the desk and stepped towards him, confidence blooming in your chest.

Making a stand between his opened legs, you took your free hand to his cheek, forcing his gaze to meet your own. Your eyes glossed over his features, taking note of each crease in his forehead caused by stress and exhaustion, and you loved it. His face told a story without needing his lips, though they certainly helped make the painting perfect.

Hesitant, you leaned down, though hovered just inches away from his face. You didn’t want to pry, and given the moment, it would be difficult for him to escape the situation without you providing an out. This wasn’t at all necessary, as he leaned up to reach you.

Lips meeting lips, a warmth flooded your body that pushed you to lean down further. You leaned into him, hearing a ‘thunk’ of his helmet as it connected with the flood flooring, feeling an arm snake around your waist as you were pulled snug to cool, clean plastid. Your lips moved in sync, passion flowing between one another, before you pulled away, breathless.

With half lidded eyes, Rex looked up at you expectantly, unsure of where to go next. He’d untangled your hands and had shifted his now free one to rest on your hip, whilst you cupped his other cheek.

“Well that wasn’t so bad.” He rasped out, to which you scoffed and rolled your eyes, leaning back in order to emphasise your faux disappointment in remark to your kissing skills.

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you like me to try again? See if it's any better a second time?”

He just about pounced on you, both hands shifting to your hips to situate you onto his lap, giving him a much better angle. With a somewhat smug expression, he stole your lips once again, intending to have you breathless. You simply couldn’t say no, and you never would.

The night seemed to continue in a constant back and forth of kisses and longing gazes, and who knows what else, but he’d certainly be back to your office more often, even if he didn’t have information for any of your cases. It’s not like you minded, after all.

#the clone wars #oneshot #captain rex x reader #captain rex x you #captain rex x y/n #rex x you #i love this man help me

[beatricebidelaire]

lonely people on a rainy night

Things are not the same without Beatrice and Bertrand around.

~2.4k. Kit Snicket / Frank Denouement. pre-canon. timeline is not long after b&b left VFD, and way before k&d ever got together.

****

It’s very late that night when Kit arrives at the Hotel Denouement.

Her messily tied up hair and long black coat are both wet from the heavy rain. The umbrella barely had any effect during the short distance from the hotel’s parking lot to the lobby. She grimaces as she closes the umbrella, and surveys the lobby out of habit.

It’s pretty late already, and due to the weather, barely any guests are arriving at this hour, so the lobby is quite empty. There’s a concierge mopping the floor at one corner, and at the front desk, Frank Denouement raises his head and meets her eyes.

“I thought you’re coming back tomorrow,” he says, his tone neutral as usual, like it usually is when in public, even though the lobby is very nearly empty.

“I was,” she makes a face. “But the road to the small inn I was originally planning to stay at is completely flooded, so I thought I’d drive back to The City. It’s just a couple more hours anyway - far fewer traffic than usual as well, because most people aren’t going out in this rain.”

“Rational people,” he remarks.

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

A hint of a smile appears on his lips ever so briefly before disappearing again, and he hands her the key to her usual room. “Go take a shower, Snicket. You’re ruining my just cleaned lobby floor.”

“How unfortunate,” she drawls, taking the key. “See you after your shift.”

****

2 hours later, after she’s properly showered and dried up and made herself a nice cup of tea while reviewing the notes in her commonplace book, she knocked on the door of Frank’s office - he’d just about gotten off shift.

“K,” he nods when he opens the door, letting her in.

“F,” she replies.

The door clicks shut behind her.

“Things aren’t looking good,” she says, cutting directly to the subject of her latest assignment. “As we suspected, some of G’s notes on the fungus were stolen before the fire, and it’s fallen into the hands of some firestarters who didn’t actually recognize the value or the danger of them. However, after they were all killed during the firestarters’ infighting two months ago, the notes have been lost and there are barely any leads on how to track them down.” She pauses. “I mean, best case scenario, they’re all destroyed. But since they’re just completely gone - I rather suspect that we’re not so lucky.”

He frowns. “Because if indeed no one recognizes the value or danger of it, they wouldn’t have paid much attention to it and we’d probably still find scraps somewhere.”

“Exactly,” she replies. “Which means, obviously, that someone collected them and hid them somewhere. It could be a volunteer - but I haven’t heard anything from anyone - and it could also be someone on the other side of the schism. That would be very dangerous indeed. Granted, they probably couldn’t continue the research too far without proper equipment and all that like G did, but the longer that information is out there in the open, the more risks it poses.”

He closes his eyes, silent for a moment. When he opens his eyes again, he says, “and we cannot be sure if a VFD volunteer having that information stored secretly is a safe thing, either. I mean, look at G …” he trails off meaningfully.

“We wouldn’t want another repeat of that,” she agrees. “Still, they might not be as volatile as G. But G didn’t use to be volatile either, and look how he turned out.” Her face is grim. “It’s almost like getting too deep in this specific research makes one volatile.”

He leans back against his office chair, his gaze holding hers. “Getting too deep in anything increases one’s chances of getting volatile, perhaps.”

She looks back at him, and for a moment, the silence in the room is tense. And then she says, abruptly, “I’ll make some tea.”

Not waiting for an answer, she stands up, and walks over to a counter and starts making tea. He doesn’t say anything.

“So,” she says, a little forcefully perhaps, as she sits down again once tea is ready, pouring herself and him a cup of tea respectively. “How are things on the recruitment front in The City?”

He tilts his head, his eyes narrowing, “You didn’t hear from J?”

“Haven’t got the chance to talk to him,” she says briskly. “We’ve both been busy.”

His lips are pressed into a thin line, in his usual disapproving manner that he rarely bothers hiding when they’re in private. But he doesn’t comment on her tumultuous sibling relationship with Jacques, and instead just says, “It’s getting harder and harder these days, especially with the new restrictions around The City. The High Court passed a new ruling the other day - you’ve probably heard - it was all over the radio.”

She scowls. “I’ve been long saying that I think our enemies have people on the inside - someone in certain positions that can influence the judges of the High Court. It’s their way of cutting VFD recruitment.”

“I’m fairly certain so as well - but we don’t know how high up they are. I mean, the fact that it’s been hard for us to get anyone in there suggests someone is blocking us out. Honestly, I told them to abandon these attempts - it’s quite futile by this point. We’d be much more effective trying to collect blackmail material on people if we want to influence the decision making.”

“Speaking of which, did the concierges collect any interesting gossip recently?”

“None too useful,” he replies. “As you know, most of the time spying is just collecting piles and piles of irrelevant information that may never be of use. Dewey’s been pulling late nights as well just filtering those information and categorizing them so we can easily look them up later. But so far, not much has come up.”

“How is he doing, by the way?” She asks.

Frank doesn’t answer immediately.

“As usual,” he says, finally, then adds. “He misses B. Both of them, really.”

Kit gazes out the window at the falling rain. “I know how that feels.”

We all do, he thinks. “It’s been … quiet. Without her around, especially.”

Her lips twist slightly, “As my brother often says …”

“... the world is too quiet without her nearby,” he finishes for her, then exhales. He thinks about Beatrice - ever so loud and full of life and overly dramatic and a constant annoyance in his life, until she no longer is. Beatrice. Energetic and full of emotions and feelings and never shy from displaying them.

How is someone so full of emotions and feelings so capable of - simply just cutting her old life loose and never looking back, he wonders.

For a moment, there’s only the sound of the rain splashing against the window in the quiet office. Frank meets Kit’s eyes, and knows that she’s thinking of the same thing. They’ve known each other too long at this point - just like they’d both known Beatrice and Bertrand for so many years.

Or at least, they thought they knew them.

Beatrice. Loud, energetic Beatrice. And Bertrand - calm and steady and dependable to many, with a hidden witty and sarcastic nature reserved just for close friends.

“It’s not the same, without them,” he admits, a rare moment of raw honesty. He doesn’t admit this in front of Dewey, insisting on saying things are in fact fine, just the same, partly to reassure Dewey, partly because he doesn’t like being vulnerable in front of Dewey, who he always felt like he should protect. And with Ernest - they don’t talk about Bertrand, who Ernest likes to pretend nothing ever happened between them to deal with the fact Bertrand was willing to leave VFD for Beatrice but not for him, and they don’t talk about Beatrice either, because that subject is never going to lead to anything good. They argue enough, as it is. No need to dive into a controversial topic that’ll surely end unpleasantly.

Kit, though - oddly enough, it seems easier, with her. Perhaps because they miss Beatrice and Bertrand similarly - not exactly the same way, but the closeness to them had been similar. And he doesn’t have the sense of duty or obligation to shelter her away from things as he does with Dewey, doesn’t have the strong urge to pretend things are fine to reassure her.

They always seem to share the same views on many things, and perhaps that’s also what makes it easier. They have the same kind of ruthless efficiency when it comes to VFD missions. They’re the ones making the tough calls, the necessary decisions, regardless how morally ambiguous those decisions may seem.

Jacques, he thinks, lacks the same edge. Bless him. He might actually be more loyal and believing in VFD’s ideals than either of them, but there have always been certain lines he wouldn’t cross. Frank admires that in him. He hopes he stays that way.

As for himself and Kit - they’ll make the necessary decisions so the others don’t have to. Decisions such as hiring children as concierge so they can gather information while hiding at places adults cannot fit in, probably.

When he looks at his brothers, it’s like literally looking into a mirror. But when he looks at Kit - sometimes it’s like metaphorically looking into one, he thinks.

“I still - almost hear Bertrand’s voice telling me to slow down, when I’m driving,” she confesses.

“Ah, your impulse control,” he remarks loftily.

She scoffs. “I don’t drive impulsively - every turn and acceleration is calculated.”

He rolls his eyes. “If you say so,” he permits, airily.

They’re silent for a few moments, before she asks, “You done with all your work tonight?”

“Work’s never done,” he shrugs. “But there’s always tomorrow.”

Her mouth curves up, a hint of faint amusement. “True,” she murmurs. She takes a deep breath, and looks at him. For the briefest second, her eyes are unusually hesitant, but then it’s gone. “I don’t quite want to be alone tonight,” she says. There isn’t much emotion in her eyes as she says this.

Is that the real reason you drove all the way back to The City? He wonders silently.

“We could watch a movie,” he offers. He knows that she and Bertrand used to do so, on rainy nights when they were forced to stay at the hotel after something was cancelled.

She looks at him. “Yeah, we could,” she agrees.

****

They go to her room and watch an artsy indie film he randomly selects from his shelf. It’s terribly boring and they’ve both had a long day, so they end up both falling asleep. When he opens his eyes again, the end credits are rolling.

Beside him, her head rests against his shoulder.

It’s only in these moments does he really notice her alikeness with Jacques, he thinks. Perhaps it’s because he’s too used to and knows too much about the difference of their personalities, that he often doesn’t see their similarities. But her eyes are closed and she’s not talking now, just lying there, having fallen asleep, and he immediately gets reminded of how they actually look quite alike.

He tries to carefully shift himself so her head can be on the pillow instead of his shoulder, but she wakes up at the movement, blinking wearily. “You suck at selecting movies,” she says.

He rolls his eyes. “You try next time, then.”

She scoffs, sitting up and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I hate him,” she says, suddenly. No context or whatsoever, no prefacing, no specific names or initials. But he immediately knows what she’s talking about.

He also knows that she doesn’t really hate Bertrand. She just misses him. She probably feels similarly about Beatrice as well, but she’d never declare out loud anything close to hating Beatrice.

“Yeah, me too,” he says, softly.

He isn’t exactly sure who started it, or how exactly did things suddenly shift, but the next moment, their eyes meet - she has Jacques’s eyes, he thinks, he always knows, of course, but still - and she’s pretty. Not in the Beatrice type of way, flashy and glamorous and takes everyone’s breath away, but she’s pretty. Her features and expression always a little too sharp type of pretty.

They kiss.

It’s - okay. Not lackluster, but also not thrilling or electric. It’s fine. Normal. Sort of nice to be able to have another pair of lips on his again after so long, actually. Doesn’t completely fill all the silence and void left behind and the Beatrice and Bertrand shaped hole, but - it’s something.

“You know, we’d make a terrible pair of lovers,” she says.

“Oh, absolutely,” he agrees. “We’re too similar.”

A ghost of a smile dances across her lips. “Exactly.” She pauses, and then adds. “If you tell anyone about tonight, I’ll murder you.”

He rolls his eyes. “Same goes for you,” he says.

Her lips pull up, a sharp, mean, teasing glint in her eyes. “Kiss on it?”

“Oh, very funny,” he scoffs.

They look at each other.

“Well, one last time,” he says. “One for the road, as they say.”

“One for the road,” she murmurs.

They kiss. Slow, steady, calm. Two lonely volunteers on a rainy night. It’s - nice, to just have another body this close that he can almost feel the warmth radiating from it. In the morning they’ll go back to being volunteers. Hardworking volunteers who don’t mind loneliness. There’s no sparkling chemistry in the kiss, but he doesn’t want any of that tonight anyway. He just wants - some physical intimacy with someone he can absolutely trust.

“I’ve always wondered,” he says. “Have you and Bertrand ever …”

“Oh, never,” she says.

“Huh,” he says. “Your loss, then, I suppose.”

She leans backwards onto the pillow, and starts to laugh.

****

He picks up his suit jacket on the chair, putting it on, and takes the videotape out. “Well, I should go.”

“Turn off the lights for me, will you?” she calls, from the bed.

“Sure,” he agrees. “I’ll see you in the morning, K.”

“Bye, F.”

He turns off the light and takes his leave, heading back to his office.

#asoue #kit snicket #frank denouement #frankit #i gave it some thoughts and decided yes #even tho i typed k/f as pairing #i am STILL going to use my brotp tag. because it counts #brotp: f for friendly e for evil #my writing

[fuck-customers]

LONG POST

I just saw another post that reminded me of my short but hellish time working at a local family restaurant.

I filled out an application and handed it over in person and the owner called me the next day to start working that night. (🚩#1- no background check, no real interview, just asked if I was over 18, what my availability was and if I'd ever worked in a restaurant before and maybe for my ID, I'm not even sure if he asked for that) Whatever. I was desperate for a job and came in. I was upfront that this was my first job, I had no work experience, especially no restaurant experience but I was ready to try my best and was eager to learn. The owner also informed me to not come through the main restaurant doors where customers come through, to go through the back entrance. (This is relevant later)

I get all of 2 minutes of training (this is not really a red flag, more of a pink one) and set to work. The boss writes down on a pad of paper what time I came in and later writes down what time I left, the other employees do the same thing (🚩) No real/accurate clocking in exists, nor does any actual schedule exist, just the owner verbally saying to come in tomorrow or the next day or whenever at whatever time, but only one shift is notified at a time. (🚩) No one speaks to me, which I originally contributed to them being busy, until I noticed how dead the restaurant was. The only time anyone DOES speak to me, it is to condescendingly tell me how I'm fucking up and usually to yell at me. This not only includes the owner yelling at me, but his nephew who also works there as well as one of the waitresses, both of whom are supposed to be on my same employee level/aka not management. (🚩)

On the first day of work, I explain to the owner that I was looking around to find where dishes go because I have a bad memory due to brain damage and I WILL be able to eventually memorize where everything is supposed to go, it just might take me longer than the average person. He jokes about how he also has a bad memory and to ask anyone there for help, giving me false confidence that he may be understanding. I forgot where some dishes go on the second day and ask him where they go. Instead of helping like he claimed he would, he screams at me because I "can't even remember something so simple" (🚩)

On maybe the 3rd or 4th shift I have, I try to go in through the back as instructed, but the door is locked. I knock on the door and yell for someone to let me in for 5 or so minutes and no one comes. I obviously have no keys to this place I've worked at for 3 days, so I give up and go in through the main restaurant doors. The owner sees me and I immediately start trying to explain about the door being locked and no one answering and he either ignores me or doesn't hear me over his own yelling and is screaming at me in front of my coworkers and the customers eating their meals about how he told me not to come in through the restaurant and to only use the backdoor and refused to listen when I tried to explain that it was LOCKED. (🚩) I am obviously rattled and stressed and embarrassed so I scramble to the back to focus on work so I don't cry. After I contain myself, I get to work and I'm working for maybe 10-20 minutes when the owner stops by my station and asks if I like working there (🚩 I guess??? Wtf kind of question is that, ESPECIALLY after yelling at someone in front of employees and customers?) Of course I lie and say yes and I'm suddenly aware that I'm not currently working and I panic and start washing again. He stops me and says "Get out." "...What?" "Leave. Get out." "...the dishes..?" (in my defense I was very rattled) "I'll have [whatever his nephew's name was] do them. Leave now. You're too slow, I can do these dishes in half the time it takes you. See? *washes a dish* Leave." (side note: the dishes he "washed" and deemed acceptable to be served to customers STILL had food caked on them. 🤮 🚩)

I'm very disoriented and on the verge of tears, so I take off my apron as fast as possible and run out the door to avoid crying in front of everybody, as now the whole goddamn crew has come to watch my humiliation, and call my mom in tears in the parking lot. It's only afterwards, after I've calmed down that I realize that he never paid me (🚩) and I don't even know how much I'm supposed to be paid, since he never told me how much I was supposed to make in an hour (🚩) (yeah that one was on me, but honestly this guy scared me even during the "interview" and I was afraid to ask questions because he was very harsh) My mom (correctly) tells me to go back and demand my pay. The only silver lining in my story is that he doesn't argue against paying me and gives me cash (idk how much it was, but I do remember confirming that it was the correct amount for minimum wage for how many hours I worked)

I worked there less than a week, but it was enough to traumatize me and make me refuse to work in a restaurant setting ever again. There is an overall silver lining: as I recalled this story, I was curious if there were employee reviews and if that guy was also abusive to other employees or if he just had something against me. I didn't find any employee reviews, but I did discover that the restaurant is permanently closed as of 2020. Good fucking riddance. I hope he wasn't as horrible to his other employees as he was to me, but at least he won't be able to abuse them anymore.