#i have the hardest life of anyone whos ever lived btw

[ceriseisland]

Just finished watching Nimona and I'm mad bc the plot is really similar to my big johtrio longfic so now it's just going to seem derivative of that

#when legends arceus came out i was worried people would think it was derivative of that bc it has the time travel isekai deal #but now watching nimona im like goddamit thats half my plot #with the people of alph having a messed up relationship with pokemon and staying inside rhe city walls #and needing to destroy the institution in order for progress to happen #i have the hardest life of anyone whos ever lived btw

[kairiscorner]

Hi precious🫶🏻

Love your story’s btw💕

I would like to request a scenario where someone is bad mouthing reader (out of jealousy or smt else u decide). While Miguel is hearing EVERYTHING, that is said abt his wifey. Whatever happens next is up to you darling.🫶🏻

Don’t feel pushed to write abt something u don’t feel comfortable with💕

OH MY GOD, SURE THINGGGGGG and THANK YOU SO MUCH ??? I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS TOO !!

not another word. — miguel o'hara x wife!fem!reader

his back muscles tensed up and his nostrils flared as he huffed and puffed, his eyebrows knitting together in a furious look that tried his damn hardest to remain calm. he could not, for the words he was hearing from the so-called 'friendly colleagues' you invited to have dinner at your place were laughing and muttering to themselves under their breaths how naïve you appeared–how you looked so young and stupid, that they were shocked that an 'pretty little airhead' like you became their 'respected' colleague.

"she's got a pretty face, sure, but have you seen how much of a kltuzy butterfingered little thing she is?"

"right? watch out for her, she might woo your husband away from you with that insipid little grin of hers that just makes me want to..."

"she's so annoying, she always keeps offering me her shitty treats that nobody wants–i'm surprised she even has a husband, no one in the right mind would put up with her."

your colleagues laughed amongst themselves as they kept insulting you and calling you names behind your back; you left the living room to get them some of the goodies you baked for them that you took so long trying to figure out how to make them and actually baking them up. you were anxious this whole time if they'd like it or not, but little did you know they were already dreading to taste what you made, not caring how much effort and thought you put into making these treats–and that angered miguel, very, very much.

he tried to calm himself down and remind himself that this was your gathering, he was just going to mind his own business and let you be happy. but he can't be happy if he knows that your colleagues right there that feigned a welcoming aura and a friendly demeanor towards you didn't like you, and all for the stupidest, worst reasons he had ever heard come out of another person's mouth. miguel had enough, he was going to teach them just what happens when they insult his darling little wife one more time.

"then i guess i'm not in my right mind for wanting to stay with her," miguel said in a low, intimidating voice that made all your colleagues tense up in their seats and turn their heads to look at your husband with pursed lips. miguel looked down at them with an angry glare, with hints of a furious red in his pupils. he looked everyone down one by one and noticed they were all frightened of him–good. "but i don't really care if i'm 'not in my right mind' for loving the most perfect woman in the world, i'm not in my right mind–i'm living the best life i can and that's with her." he said as his voice softened at that latter part, thinking fondly of you amidst his anger towards these horrible colleagues who dare take your kindness and generosity for granted.

miguel sighed and furrowed his eyebrows again. "i don't give a damn about who any of you people are, how much you make, or what my wife thinks of you all–which, believe me, is a far kinder judgement than anyone would have of such mundane, cynical people–i will break every bone in your bodies and make you all beg for forgiveness and grovel at my wife's feet if i hear another lick on an insult get spewed out by those disgusting mouths of yours."

miguel spoke that threat with a low growl in his voice, he was becoming a little more feral, which he promised to you he'd keep under control, but he couldn't in this situation–he couldn't stand idly by and let you be insulted by these morons; he can't help his emotions sometimes, but believe him when he says he's tried his damn hardest to hold back on getting even angrier on these colleagues of yours that couldn't even acknowledge you were a sincerely kind soul that just wanted to make others happy.

you soon emerged from the kitchen with a gleeful smile, carrying the delicious treats you made for your ungrateful colleagues. the moment you saw them, they all looked spooked; as if they witnessed dracula or somebody just say he was going to suck the blood out of them all and turn them into human prunes. you chuckled nervously, asking them what was wrong, with miguel standing up from his seat–giving your colleagues a glare of warning–and kissing you sweetly on the lips in surprise and muttering in soft voice, "nothing's wrong, querida. oh, my favorites–i'll have to thank you with something else you like later, hmm?" he offered as he wrapped his arm around your waist, making you all flustered and shy as you tried to remind him you two had guests over. "we can always kick them out, nena, it's fine... let me hold you just a little longer." he whispered in your ear as your colleagues gulped and tried smiling up at you and praising your treats, about how good they look and smelled, how tasty they must be–making you smile wider at the sudden compliments you were getting.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @hearts4gabri @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0 @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

despite the happiness you thought you were bringing your colleagues, miguel desperately wanted you to know that you don't need to make others happy... you've already make him happy since day one and he's been happier and happier with you ever since that day.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara fluff #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #atsv #atsv miguel x reader #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse fluff #spiderman across the spiderverse fanfiction

[buckymorelikefuckme]

a pirate's life for me

pirate king wanda x fem reader

words: 2k

warnings: **18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI** thar be smüt ahead!!!!! and mentions of flushed cheeks

a/n: i'm on a roll today waow... this is NOT proofread btw but i hope you like it!! any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & welcomed :) xoxo

part 1 ❀ part 3 ❀ part 4

Life aboard the Scarlet Pearl was unlike anything you imagined. You'd heard all the stories of the crew and their captain, of how they were ruthless and fearsome, in strength as well as in numbers. Yet, for as cunning as they were said to be, they were just as commendable.

Pirate King Maximoff and their crew were said to ravage their way through the richest cities and take as much as possible. The government did everything in their power to stop them, but the pirates were always five steps ahead. On top of that, weeks later after the pillaging, the lower class people were suddenly able to afford better meals, to keep the fires in their hearths going all night. They could finally afford to live comfortably.

There was no way for the government to question it without looking greedy or heartless, so to save the shame of having someone else take better care of their people, they kept quiet. They'd soon find that people who lived in better conditions were happier to do labor.

You'd admired Pirate King Wanda ever since.

Growing up with a silver spoon in your mouth made it so you never even had a moment to question where your next meal would come from, or if you'd freeze to death during winter. When you were young, you'd never thought to question it. As you grew older, however, it became more and more obvious to you that something was not right.

On the nights you'd sneak out of the Manor, dressed in one of your lady’s maids' old dresses and worn out boots, you'd head down to the pub and eavesdrop on the stories people would tell. It didn't take long to learn of the famous Pirate King, even less time to learn of how desperately the townspeople longed for them to show up here. You had no one to tell, but you wished the same.

So, the fateful night they finally arrived, you knew you had to join their crew and set sail with them. You couldn't bear another minute of being around people who looked down their nose at others who had less than they did.

Which leads you to the present, elbows resting on the ledge of the ship, reminiscing on the months that have passed since you arrived.

You'd been utterly shocked and embarrassed to find out the very pirate you so brazenly spoke to in the Manor was the Pirate King Maximoff herself. She'd had a good laugh about it, but ultimately didn't hold it against you. She didn't want anyone to know she was a woman, anyway. As much as it annoyed her to admit, people were more likely to be afraid of her if they thought she was a man. She always made sure those people regretted that, though.

The setting sun kisses your cheeks as you breathe in the salty air of the surrounding sea. You've worked hard to prove your worth, and you have the callouses to show for it. The crew were rightfully wary of you at first, but thankfully, it wasn't long before they welcomed you with open arms.

Pirate King Maximoff, while never rude or hateful, still kept somewhat of a distance from you, always watching you work from her place at the helm. Her chief mate, Natasha, is never far, ready and waiting for new orders to pass along. She was the hardest to crack, but you'd recently had a breakthrough that left you smiling in your bunk later that night.

The wind whips through your hair and you sigh. You couldn't imagine yourself anywhere else now.

“Shouldn't you be getting some grub with the rest of the crew?”

You spin around quickly, startled at her voice. Captain Maximoff stands a few feet away, her eyes calculating as they usually are. Her tan skin glows in the sunlight and you're reminded, once again, of how utterly… handsome she is.

“Captain,” you acknowledge with a tip of your head. “I… I just wanted to have a moment to myself first.”

“I see,” she replies, “then don't let me keep you.”

“No!”

She stops, turning to you with an eyebrow cocked. You hope the flush along your cheeks can pass as being under the sun for too long.

“I mean, um. You don't have to leave.”

She tilts her head, quiet for a moment as she reads your expression. She's very good at it. You'd learned that quickly.

Whatever she finds must be enough to convince her to stay, because a few seconds later she takes the spot beside you, clasping her hands behind her back as she stares into the water.

“Do you do this often?” she asks curiously.

You tear your eyes away from her profile and back to the horizon. “Sometimes,” you confess.

“What for?” she prods.

“I’m not entirely sure,” you say. “I guess to remind myself how small I am, how minuscule my existence is in this vast world. That what I’m doing and have done is right and for the betterment of others more important than I.”

The captain doesn't immediately reply, contemplating your words. When she does speak, it's quiet.

“You are important, though. You are not minuscule. What you have done is important, I cannot deny that, but you must know it is for your betterment as well.”

You turn your gaze to her, frowning. You find her already looking at you and her stare is hard, willing you to believe what she is saying.

“I would not have agreed to let you on my ship if I thought you were not a good person. You've more than paid your dues. I will not hear another self-deprecating word from you.”

You swallow past the lump in your throat. “Thank you, Captain.”

Her eyes flit back and forth between yours. Without a word, she grabs your wrist and begins walking away, leaving you no choice but to follow. You're smart enough not to question her.

She takes you to her quarters, and when she shuts the door behind you, the locking clicking into place with finality, your heart begins to race. She walks around you until she stands in front of you. You try to hold her stare, but soon find your eyes dropping to the hollow point of her neck.

You've longed to touch her golden skin for ages now, knowing you shouldn't, but unable to fight the desire. There have been times, fleeting moments, where you thought your Pirate King felt the same, thought you’d caught her looking at you with hunger rather than inquisitiveness. Like the way she's looking at you now.

Feeling bold, you raise your shaky hands to trace the exposed skin along her open collar.

“If you still feel you have debts to be repaid,” she starts, her hands coming up to your hips, “you may repay them directly to me.”

You finally meet her eyes again. Now, you wonder how you could have missed the yearning, the equal desire burning there. You grip her collar in your fists and pull her into a kiss. Like a dam being broken, the Captain presses closer into your body, now cupping your cheeks as she deepens the kiss, flicking her tongue along your bottom lip. You open for her with a gasp, groaning when she licks the roof of your mouth. Your head is spinning, eagerness turning the kiss sloppy, yet no less heated.

She begins moving backwards, tugging you with her as her lips trail down your neck, licking and sucking marks into the skin there that have you whining and begging for more. The back of her knees hit the edge of her bed and she falls easily onto it, taking you with her. She's got you on her lap, hands bunching up the skirts of your dress around your hips.

“I thought you were crazy for refusing to wear trousers on deck, but I must confess it's much better access this way,” she teases.

You smile, cheeks pinking. “I'd hoped you'd find me prettier than the others,” you admit.

“Trust me, from the moment I saw you, you were the most beautiful creature I'd ever had the pleasure of seeing.”

You have to kiss her again for that, tongue sliding against hers in a way that has you shivering and throbbing for more. You pull away, shifting back until you can kneel on the floor in front of her, holding her heavy-lidded stare.

“May I try something I've thought about, night after night since joining your crew?” you ask.

She nods with an interested quirk to her brows. You pull one of her legs forward so her boot is easier to get to. Biting your lip, you lift your skirts and yourself, shuffling forward and hovering for just a moment. When you lower yourself to sit atop her well-worn leather boot, it's still warm from the summer sun.

You see when it registers with her, what you're doing. Miraculously, the unflappable Pirate King’s cheeks begin flushing as you slowly grind your wet core on her boot.

“Christ,” she whispers.

You moan, clutching her thigh, your hips rolling your clit into the firm pressure of the leather. It feels far better than you expected. You rest your cheek on her knee, panting hotly against her trousers as you continue riding her boot. Movement out of the corner of your eye catches your attention. You moan when you realize she's unbuttoned her trousers and stuff her hand down them. You can see the way she's circling her fingers and it makes you grind faster.

She moans above you and your eyes snap to hers. She pushes your hair out of your face, tugging on your bottom lip. You suck her thumb into your mouth and she curses, eyes going glassy as her concentration splits between rubbing her own clit, watching your lips around her thumb, and the way your hips roll sinfully.

“You're either an angel or the devil,” she decides.

You pull off her thumb to mutter, “I'm whoever you want me to be,” then suck it right back into your mouth.

“What if I said I wanted you to be mine?” she whispers.

You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut before opening them, sending her a pleading look as your hips pick up pace. Your pussy glides across her boot smoothly now, your wetness doing more than enough to help you along.

“Yeah? Wanna be the Pirate King’s kept woman? Want the rest of the crew to know you belong to me? I think you'd look even more stunning with my marks upon your beautiful neck.”

You can only nod, muffled moans slipping past her thumb in your mouth. Her hand quickens in her trousers and you stare, transfixed, your orgasm so close you can taste it.

“Come, my love. Come for me,” she pleads.

Your eyes roll back, the endearment going straight to your core. You grind harder, faster, until finally the building pleasure crests and swells and overwhelms you, coursing through your veins like wildfire. You moan and whimper, twitching as you ride out the high.

“You too,” you beg, breathless, pawing at her trousers until you can get your hand next to hers.

She cries out, then grits her teeth as your fingers help her reach climax. She throws her head back, mouth falling open on a silent moan as she comes, hips bucking into your hand.

“So beautiful, so handsome,” you praise and she groans, yanking your hand out of her trousers and tugging you back into her lap.

She kisses you fiercely, passion coating every second as the two of you come down. When you've both caught your breath, she kisses the tip of your nose, tipping both of you over to lie fully on the bed. She wipes her hand on her already soiled trousers, but you bite your lip, hesitating. Meeting her eyes once again, you lift your fingers, wet with her desire, to your mouth.

“A demon is what you are,” she accuses as you lick your fingers clean.

You smile. “You can't return me now. You're stuck with me, I'm afraid.”

She sighs dramatically. “Whatever shall I do with you?”

“I may have a few ideas, my Captain,” you tease.

She pushes you onto your back, kissing away your giggles until they turn into gasping moans.

(The crew hoot and holler when they see you next, your neck littered with bites, and a proud Pirate King smirking at your side.)

#avengers fic #marvel fic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have recently come to the conclusion that if my Genshin Impact account was self aware, my Bennet would be slightly even more unlucky than a regular Bennet. This is due to my birthday and since its coming up I've been brainrotting for the past few days. Let me explain:

Bennet's birthday is February 29th, aka Leap Year. This means Benny only has a real birthday once every four years, which is bad enough. But according to canonical game lore, when he doesn't have his actual birthday, he celebrates it on the 28th.

My birthday is February 28th.

Now, I'd like to think that in your typical SAGAU the creator's birthday is a BIG DEAL. I'm talking festivals, parades, feasts, gifts exchanged between friends and family as well as gifts offered to the creator! The whole nine yards! An entire world partying from sunrise to moonset.

So with this in mind, Bennet's birthday would either be celebrated the day after the biggest holiday party in Teyvat (meaning everyone who attends would be all partied out) or during my birthday (meaning that everyone would be focused on ME instead of Bennet, which is just unfair! He can't even take pride in being born the same day as the creator b/c he was born the day after!!!!).

Anyway, if I was isekai'd to Genshin and worshipped as a god, I would simply give Bennet his own holiday. Poor kiddo deserves a win and if it takes me telling my acolytes quote, "Everyone will to celebrate Bennet's holiday. No exceptions, no excuses. And if his holiday party doesn't end up a success, I will destroy all of Teyvat and then myself. :3c" then so be it. That last statement is a joke, but watching everyone try their absolute hardest to give my adopted little brother the best birthday possible would be worth the fear of the vague threat of the world's destruction in the eyes of my worshipers me thinks.

If you add to this brainrot, please feel free to ignore that last part if everyone panicking over the possibility of apocalyptic destruction makes you uncomfortable. Likewise, don't rush this out by my birthday if you don't have time. I'm also in college and have multiple assignments due both before and after my birthday so I know this upcoming week will be hellish in terms of academics. So don't push yourself, okay?

So yeah. Thanks for reading! Hope you have a nice day!

JOKES ON YOU IM DOIN THIS FIRST BC ITS NEAR UR BIRTH WHEN I SAW THIS - HAHAHA (also timezones r wack so hope i timed it good enough for u lmao)

HOPE ALL UR ASSIGNMENTS VANISH / R SUPER EASY AND TAKE NO TIME AT ALL TO DO SO U HAVE MORE FREE TIME TO READ MY BIRTHDAY GIFT TO YOU ANON <3

Have a pretty miku hatsune gif <3

YEAH SO U ENTERED UR BDAY INTO GENSHIN U KNOW THAT RIGHT??

WELL SINCE THAT WAS THE BASICS OF THE GAME/AT THE START-

TEYVAT HAS KNOWN YOUR BIRTHDAY AS LONG AS LIFE HAS LIVED ON TEYVET LOL

◇

So if it's your birthday and you have been isekaied to Teyvat in time for it,

or been there for that long bc how does one un-isekai themselves?? anyway

and its like,, pandemonium.

bc idealistically u surprise these bitches around/close to ur birthday, so everyone's gettin in that festival mood and then BAM- itd be like if the spirits/demons showed up irl for Halloween randomly one year, like- ???!!!

so everyone's just

"well we usually have a lot of fun/praise the highest being anyway, hoping they'll hear us thru whatever barrier's between us (coughstupidcomputercough), but now... we've got to go harder than any century before guys, they're actually here, nobody panic, this isn't a drill- somebody fucking grab the champagne- "

◇

So for a second, imagine the sweetest anyone has ever been to you.

now imagine another person does something just as sweet for you, now add another, now add another, now add-

yeah i hope u got a hoddie so u can go to sweatertown when u get too embarassed/shy, bc the compliments??

"I really like your voice btw, this may sound strange but it was always so comforting pulling those all nighter for another akademiya project, and just hearing you joking around or humming, what felt like only for me or to keep me company ;) " - Lisa

"I hope you don't mind me doing this, as I wasn't trying to invade you privacy when I came upon this knowledge, but I thought it would make a useful gift. I know you were frustrated when you came here that there wasn't as much cosmetics so I used alchemy to aid your cause, this is some color changing nail polish-"

-Albedo has gotten u ur exact foundation shade, concealer, a skin clearing serum that works 100x better than any skincare routine u had going/or not lol, and if you dont really wear makeup or do skin care, he has a backup of all ur fav perfumes/colognes that u wish u had in ur old world (he heard u ranting abt wanting those scents/stuff u liked like cherries or sandalwood etc.)

◇

bc even if ur not the type to feel that way when ppl do things like that for u, i promise u will be by the end of your birthday week.

everyone in teyvat wants your first in person birthday to be perfect,

ESPECIALLY the allogenes, or the playable characters

doesn't even matter if your FTP and dont have a single character outside of the beginners,

(they all had access to things like your voice, your actions, your social media, yae miko may or may not have personally printed off enough copies of a book full of any selfies/pics with you in it to reach every corner of teyvat ahem, she means what- nothing at all my beautiful god-)

anyway that is to say, your birthday month is generally really bountiful, both in festivals and teyvat itself, regardless if its dead winter or scorching summer

◇

but for the sake of ANON'S BIRTHDAY-

You have now been forcibly converted into a Pisces - gasp - from this moment on,

ik tragic im an aquarius 😔,

Bc this is anon's Teyvat rn and we're just living in it

(genshincharactersaboutyoubelike-)

◇

You don't know which authority figure to thank first for helping organize your week so you can go to a different city's festival for you every day of your bday week, it must have been hell to make 💀

(rip ningguang alhaitham jean and ayaka/ayato yall will be missed 💧🙏)

U kind of worked ur way backwards actually from game release country's dates, like Sumeru, Inazuma, Liyue, Mondstadt

Bc when they asked if u had a preference u whole heartedly spoke up in front of a room full of arguably the most influential and powerful people on the continent, in the world really- well besides you-

"Mondstadt would be a great festival to have on my actual birthday! After all one of my best boys Bennett, also has his birthday that day too!" :)

...

.....somewhere in the Wolvendom wilds Bennett shivers with a bolt of anxiety,

Razor is confused and asks if he's ok, he gives a shaky thumbs up,

"yeah i just... got the scariest feeling.. like something bad's gonna happen on my birthday this week... haha probably nothing!... probably..."

◇

So everyone's been pretty chill and happy for Benny to be so favored/spoiled by you, esp since ur sharing ur bday (most ppl think ur a saint bc of this)

But for some pretentious assholes, who think traditions should be adhered to, they kinda dont even like the stuff ur changing-

"Oh well, if you don't just celebrate Benett's birthday with mine, and really anyone else who's bday is also mine, I'll just ruin your country ;) "

...

Some ppl get ur joking, like alhaitham would never believe u,

But these poor old fools, coughsagescough,

R just like-

"...an eldritch god is angry with us."

Needless to say u get ur way,

And poor Benny is just like, shaking in the corner, he can't tell if this is more unlucky or the luckiest he's been lol

(He's also one of the allogenes who did not rlly get ur joke lmao,,, also Itto💀)

◇

If your somehow not overhwhlemed by gifts and acts of service on ur birthday,

Benny is.

Benny is for you.

Lol, he's like gonna make himself sick bc he cant just say "No thanks" to all the ppl giving you food, but end up giving him some too by proxy

He cant even count how many candies and baked goods are weighing down his pockets

Oh did i mention you've just like, linked arms with the little guy and dragged him wherever Mond's citizens r dragging you for the birthday festivities :)

◇

While he was mostly just in shock all day, Benny does take the time to tear up and thank you for sharing your birthday*

(*both of your birthdays, u correct him all day)

Jean, Barabra, Diluc, Kaeya, Amber, Traveler, Razor Sucrose Fischl and Klee (and Varka + older adventurers/his dads)

are all super happy to finally see the poor kid get the biggest break ever for his birthday finally

Esp after they saw the last few... yknow... non-existant ones... bc he only has a bday every 4 years lol

◇

Nearly starts sobbing publicly when u give him a present for his bday too :')

And after you all do a big toast for an evening bday dinner, u hug him and he actually cries a little, and he squeezes u back super hard

"I always thought I was too unlucky to get a birthday like this, but I guess if even a god like you hasn't given up on me, I shouldn't give up on me either, thank you for the best birthday I've ever had Your Majesty!"

:')

♡

(Tho Klee did sneakily give u and him some of her best and brightest bombs as a bday gift, so he did get a little singed but he barely noticed lmao)

♡

I hope my ass writing/ideas was a decent bday gift anon! :0

I love Pisces sm, i hope ur bday was/will be incredible anon!! :) <33

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

#HAPPY BIRTH #happy bday anon! #hope this ask makes ur day a little brighter w/ some benny :) <3 #genshin sagau #my asks #sagau #genshin imagines #genshin sagau ideas #gender neutral reader #genshin isekai #genshin impact #genshin god reader #genshin impact scenarios #hope u like it - my writing isnt 10/10 but i got ideas ig lol #genshin platonic #platonic genshin impact #bennett #benny boy

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

Here at i-am-an-arson-enthusiast, we i am dedicated to bringing you top quality content such as but not limited to: gay things, cats, and even live arson that you don't even have to tune into!!

hi this is my intro post :D

basic questions that i love answering

“hey what should i call you” good question. i dont really care, most of my mutuals call me arson. thats cool. bc i love arson. (clearly) but you can call me really whatever. planet names are dope as shit, but only @marcysbear gets to call me neptune. also enthu is off limits, only @terrifying-acceptance gets to call me that.

for the record: if you call me either of those names and are not either of them, that is crossing a genuine boundary of mine. you ARE NOT allowed to call me those names if you are not the designated person for that.

“ur gay” woah really i didnt know that ur like the first person ever to notice that!! (no ur not, ive known that for years)

“what type of gay” yes. the easiest way to explain it is bisexual. that being said: i use bisexual surprizingly little. i call myself lesbian and gay all the time (as in wlw and mlm). i’m arospec, i think im grayromantic? idk. but fun fact: it’s been over TWO months now of this identity crisis; my personal record :) also im polyamorous and will joke abt kissing u if ur cool with it :3

“gender????” im genderfluid. which explains the pronoun changes. im also trans, nb, genderqueer, and any of the genders and terms i need to articulate what the silly lil dudes in my head make me feel.

AUDHD :D explains why i am obsessed with space (going back to names planet names are cool and epic btw)

“do u horny post on main???” i reblog horny posts to my main but i dont normally do the original horny posting. tell me if i need to tw that btw :3

my cool and epic tags

i try to consistanly use them but sometimes i dont. sorry.

woah i’m using queue - i’m actually queuing a post for once instead of spam reblogging (which i mostly do sorry not sorry)

woah a real text post - me positing an actual text post for once but it’s becoming more common

cool ass art - art that i reblog (it’s all cool)

arson does half way decent art sometimes - my art. art i made. yea

the beloved - my beautiful beautiful queer platonic partner @terrifying-acceptance who i tag in a lot of shit :]

i will keep adding more as i remember them and make them so yea :D also i try to tag for things but i often dont add tw or cw because. idk. just havent ever done that. if you need me too you can tell me in any form and ill try my gaddamn hardest to add them. feel free to *kindly* remind me if i forgot. (as in no verbal abuse ya know. if ur scared ur probably fine)

the last section that is mostly important for followers :]

if u wanna follow me it’d be cool if you have a banner and pfp but as long as ur like not a bot ur good.

feel free to ask questions :) this is the point at which i tell you that i love getting asks and dms. my dms are always open unless i am dead. (current status: alive at very least.) also i am in school so you are practically guaranteed to get a response not immediately. give me 12-24 hours to respond before being offended. after that it’s fair game.

I genuinely do not care and give no fucks about what you believe and how you live your life as long as you dont hurt yourself or others, you are not offended by me being very not religious/spiritual and you do not shove it down anyones throat.

I mostly do reblogs and tag them as such half the time

lastly if you interact with this post it lets me know that you read it but i’m gonna look at your profile anyway if u follow me so you don’t have to.

thank you for reading all of that i know it’s long. your cool so here’s a cookie 🍪 also here have this

credit to @v-4-l-0-n and @theprideful :)

(order of the banners are “exclusionists fuck off”, then this user loves being a lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, genderfluid, then non binary)

#queer #intro post #uhhhh #yeah #long posts #holy shit

[celestialscatterbrain]

Hiii so one of your composite chart post is about Pisces mars, in this case how about a composite chart with Pisces stellium in it? Btw loveee your content so far its rare to see composite related posts in astrological subject

Thank you!!! I truly appreciate your words. :’)

I once had a Pisces stellium in the composite with someone, and this was HANDS DOWN the biggest crush I have ever had on anyone, EVER. This was my dream man in every shape or form. 😭

I think you two will have several synchronicities in your lives, like to the point it is inexplicable and makes you feel crazy!!! 😭

So to me, I’d like to think that it feels almost written from a dream that you came across them. I think that sometimes life circumstances might keep you apart until you are ready to submerge yourself into a dream fairytale because I imagine the risk of codependency might be significant. Maybe you really idealize one another in ways that are not grounded in reality. One of you can have dreams randomly about the other, but not as often as you’d like given how much you think about them. You can’t believe this person is real. They can seem extremely unobtainable. Intense eye contact, even at the first meeting! Even when no moves are being made, it feels like you are silently courting one another. Being extremely shy around one another at first, where both of you are stuttering and finding it hard to talk without fumbling over the words you did manage to get out. I feel like once you’re together it would feel like you’re floating through life together on a cloud. You’ll probably like to spend lots of time together in bed. I think you guys would love to deep dive into each other’s mind to see through one another’s eyes. You’ll probably feel like no one can know you or see you like this person can. Getting lost when looking into this mirror. This love can probably feel like a psychedelic experience. Even if you two have extremely different or even opposite opinions or perspectives, you’ll try to understand in the deepest ways where the other one is coming from. You’d probably want to heal one another. I’d probably be careful with getting carried away with substance abuse if that’s something relevant in the connection. The other person can feel like a drug. You’ll probably see one another as an enigma you can’t fully understand until the bond solidifies. You can see no wrong in one another and can’t imagine anyone else not seeing them as angelic as you perceive them to be. I do think it makes you two extremely soft and gentle with one another, or at least more soft spoken and polite in one another’s presence. If they’re usually considered to be bad tempered or rude, they might surprise others with how nice they are to you for seemingly no reason and right off the bat. Communication through eye contact. The idea of taking the connection to the next level requires the inclination to jump into the abyss. I feel like physical touch here might be the prevalent love language in this union, because it’s almost a reminder that that person is in fact real. The partner of your dreams, the one who haunts you! If you didn’t believe in soul mates, a Pisces stellium in the composite chart can really make you consider it. You can find it easier than ever to construct detailed daydreams about them all day and use it as an escape. Sometimes you feel like you can’t leave your daydreams of them if you’re not with them. This is for real the type of crush that will make you feel delusional. I’d probably also try your hardest to refrain from losing yourselves in one another. This is the person that if circumstances permitted and the opportunity presented itself, you would throw everything in your life out and runaway with them. “Ruin my life!” or “let’s live in a dream together.” I think you guys seem like you wouldn’t be each other’s type, but end up making a perfect match and it just makes sense to everyone else only after it materializes. Example: the serious preppy boy that comes from old money with an alternative-looking, esoteric, free-spirited girl. Like oh, they look like a trope they should write a book or make a movie about!

If you’ve experienced a composite Pisces stellium with your luvrrrrr, please share! I’d love to hear!

#composite observations #composite astrology #pisces #pisces stellium #composite pisces #love astrology #astroblr #astrology observations #relationship astrology #astrology #astro notes

[hergan416]

Ship Question: I like the AlbertxWilliamxLouis. I really think it's not weird because I've only seen them with others and... I really like the Mycal and Sherliam, but I also can't see the Moriarty brothers with anyone other than their own brothers.

Continuing with the question because I have a character limit. If their love relationship would be canon, would their relationship be codependent? I think so, but I don't think it would reach toxic extremes. What makes me wonder is if after the time skip, their relationship would be cracked. I mean, Albert and William will leave Louis alone. Not to mention Sherlock's problem, that he's in a relationship with Liam.

I also DEFINITELY ship moriarthree.

I don't think "if they were canon" is my favorite way of thinking about ships, because the point (for me, anyway) is that they aren't canon? What would I have to add to the story if what I was seeing between the lines was already explicit?

But, here are my thoughts about the ship (very long, very verbose):

It is very clear there is some kind of devotion thing going on from Albert from the INSTANT he lays eyes on William. Especially his dialog in the anime, where they make the flashback to the events leading up to the fire be told from Albert's perspective, instead of William's, make him sound lovestruck the instant that he sees William in that cathedral.

And the manga DOES give us that flashback again from Albert's perspective. And we see even more ways that William is entwined in his life. (Like his suicidal ideation in his father's study, and how that changes after meeting those two). Also, even though panels from Albert's perspective still see the world as rotting from the edges, it's never quite so bad as it is in his flashbacks.

This is why Will/Al is something I've been shipping so early on, btw.

And Louis is so ... I'm going to use the word devoted here. He spends the vast majority of his time pre-final problem existing for William's sake, all of his decisions revolve around anticipating Williams wants and needs and filling them himself.

Plus there is the whole "jealous of Sherlock" thing AND in his character profile in the manga, his likes are still just "William." And the fact he never wants to be left out of what William is doing. And the fact that he admits multiple times he doesn't want to live without William and that William is his reason for living, and his obvious hurt he can't be that back to William in canon, that THAT is why he turned to Sherlock Holmes to save William during the Final Problem...because he suspects that is who can.

There is a reason my top Louis ship IS William, with or without Albert.

The codependency is REAL with those three... at least between Albert/William and William/Louis.

Albert/Louis are interesting because Albert and Louis react so infrequently and Louis is EXTREMELY formal with Albert until after the time skip. Like, niisama/Albert niisama type stuff. But he still clearly loves and respects Albert and enjoys him. I just don't know if he feels like he specifically ever earned Albert's trust/respect the same way William did, and I think he feels like he is someone Albert loves BECAUSE he's William's brother, because he came with William. I don't think that Louis feels he earned any feedings from Albert for being himself.

I don't know if that's fair to Albert...but he also kind of holds Albert up on a pedestal, much like Albert does with William. And their love for William would certainly draw them together more closely, especially if it were acted upon.

But, it's actually William I have the hardest time sorting and whose character I usually feel like I'm bending the most when I write moriarthree, AW or WL. He loves his brothers very much, and he is EXTREMELY angry when his family is threatened (think back to how calm he was in the noble kidnapping until his FAMILY was threatened. Do whatever you want to him, the self-sacrificial, depressed martyr...but if you DARE threaten Albert or Louis...he WILL end you.) But...it isn't quite the same. They mean a lot to him, but you're right that they are never enough either.

[Which comes back to your point about post-TS sherliam, which I also don't think is canon, just extremely supported by canon. Even if the distinction is splitting hairs, I do find it important. If the ships were explicitly part of canon already I wouldn't be asked this question.]

He needs something outside those two relationships to press on and move forward. It's getting that that provides him peace. But there's no reason that can't be very good sherliam friendship, instead of romantic sherliam. Whatever of this combination you do ship, it makes sense to me to need something other than simply your romantic relationship to have a fulfilling life...because that's kinda just how life is.

And if you do want it all to be shippy... maybe he just adds & shares Sherlock, since it's a polyship anyway 😂 More the merrier.

Another potential issue for William is that because both brothers look UP to him so often and he is so important to both of them, it can kind of feel alienating, to BE on that pedestal. And it's also canon that William only ever fully shared his doubts and fears and guilt and weaknesses (generally: his depression) with Albert, and NOT with Louis. But BOTH still idolize him canonically. It makes it tricky to have ANY kind of relationship, romantic OR platonic and feel fulfilled... so I see why he'd need something else.

Anyway, I guess that's why with William I have the hardest time seeing his love for his brother's crossing the blurry lines between romantic and platonic that are SO unclear in the anime and manga.

I WILL push him to be there though, because that's what fan writers DO xD

We explore the what-ifs. We push the characters a little to take steps they never do. We tweak a thing and see what happens to canon after that.

And so I like pushing William to return his brothers' complex, messy, mishmash of feelings and devotion. And I add the element of lust which is basically non-existent in canon because I'm a smut writer guys.

Anyway, their relationship is ALREADY very codependent, that's part of why it is so easy to blur those lines for me. Because they are so necessary to each other in so many ways.

I don't know if the way the time skip forces everyone to figure themselves out, especially William and Louis, and makes them able to function without that codependency, would crack the relationship or simply change it. Albert, it seems, still had a lot going on and significant issues feeling he can't exist in society without William.

He's still in a terrible place when William comes to get him from that tower, and he still is saying he doesn't know how to live without William's help. Even if William is offering advice that he's learned over the last three years during his time with Sherlock and thus demonstrating to Albert how to move on for himself...it's still William teaching him how to live at the end of the day.

Louis, of course, really comes into his own post-TS. His role as M trying to problem-solve and lead in all the ways he is capable...but had been overlooked is so GOOD for him. But as you can see from his character profile, his favorite thing hasn't changed. He still likes William more than anything. With Louis, I think that him and William being apart and coming back together canonically strengthens their relationship. I do not think this would change if you assumed a romantic relationship instead of a familial one. It would become more solid and deepen from this, not fall apart.

I don't really know how to respond to your thoughts about the relative "health" of their codependency. I'm not a psychiatrist or a therapist and they are fictional. So to me their codependency is just an interesting part of the relationship to explore (or... to see how it affects things as the characters in my brain muddle their way through the scenarios I put before them.)

Even if it were entirely unhealthy, I would still want to explore the relationship, whether in reading or writing. Because its interesting. Because they are sexy. Because as long as I'm tagging my things so that people who don't want to see my shit don't see my shit... I have every right to think about whatever I want to.

It doesn't matter to me if my ships are "weird" or "not weird," or "healthy" or "toxic." Ships are thought experiments. Ships are words on a page that if done well might invoke some feelings. Ships are analysis of text and putting something that wasn't there in the first place there, and then feeling something about your creation. Ships are like reprogramming: you steal something someone else did, and make it fit your wants/needs/desires and then share it to see who else needed/wanted/desired it too.

I personally will mostly write scenarios that involve consent due to personal preference. But in terms of toxicity, that's my hardest line. They can be emotionally dumb all they want...because that makes a good story.

#moriarty the patriot #moriarthree #albert james moriarty #william james moriarty #louis james moriarty #alwill #wilouis #ask answered #thank you for asking #sorry this got so LONG #i just have A LOT OF THOUGHTS OK #i love these three

[emjaydoubleyou]

i prefer the french canadian oat milk costco used to stock (they now have a kirkland brand oat milk). i have the hardest life of anyone who has ever lived btw

[yagamisdiary]

if u feel uncomfortable answering this question u don’t have to!

just wanted to ask if u have any tips in preventing on doing sh? like it’s really hard to stop once u started and even if you’re clean for a while the urge doesn’t go away

oh damn we’re getting deep okay

TW: self harm, rape, drug use, overdose

so i used to self harm and i think this is pretty well known since i included it in parasite and what not

i started in 2016, i was 16 and i had scars all down my arms and i always wore sweaters, jackets, long sleeves etc

btw, i live in TEXAS where it’s hotter than hell so i would sweat my ass off and ppl would be like girl take off your jacket but i would always say i was fine even though i was dying

i ended up doing it until i was 17/18 without anyone noticing until i overdosed and went to the hospital (1st suicide attempt) and they saw the cuts

when i woke up i got help and sent to a mental facility and got some cute socks 😍 (sorry humor is my coping mechanism) and i ended up getting clean from self harm and drugs

i was clean for maybe an entire year but i would get random urges but i would just try to push them down or resorted to other forms of self harm like pinching myself until i bled or pulling my hair until it came out or punching walls/glass

when i turned 19, i got raped and i ended up going down hill again and start to self harm again and doing drugs again

my second suicide attempt happens after i slit my wrists again and endured blood loss and had to go to the hospital AGAIN and got cute socks AGAIN

i think i didn’t get better until i was 21 and it was only because i moved away from everything that was making me depressed. i left my family, friends, school, etc behind and started a new life in another town with my dad (my parents are divorced)

moral of this depressing ass story is i didn’t magically get clean one day. that’s not real. people who actually deal with self harm never just get better one day. it’s not possible because it’s an illness, it’s an addiction and i know that first hand

the best piece of advice i can give you is to find a pattern. find what makes you want to cut yourself and try your absolute hardest to stay away from it or get rid of it even if it hurts like a bitch

leaving everything behind hurt so bad, saying goodbye to some and just disappearing on others hurt but my mental health has never been better

there are times where if things get bad, i’ll randomly get the urges too but i think i’ve gotten much better at convincing myself it’s not worth it

i’m stuck with scars that are BARELY fading away because of something i did years ago and sometimes it makes me really sad when i feel insecure about wearing certain things that expose my arms or when someone points it out

at the time, i just had so much disgust and hatred for myself that i wanted to cause myself pain. i felt like i deserved it. i deserved to hurt, i deserved to bleed

and then there was times where i was so depressed and numb that i would cut myself just to feel something, just to see if i was alive

i regret it so fucking much i wish i could go back and hug my 16 year old self and beg her not to do those things and be kinder to herself and love herself some more

i’m legit tearing up while writing this because the idea of someone feeling so low of themselves that they feel the need to punish themselves breaks my heart so badly because no one deserves that.

i hope whatever you’re going through gets better and i hope you never get the urge to hurt yourself again because from someone who committed self harm in many different forms for YEARS i can tell you personally it’s not worth it

it won’t take the pain away, it won’t change anything, it won’t make you feel better

if you ever need someone to talk to, i’m here for you!!

#amara's asks

[sevicia]

When we have foods that are, like, easy to eat, I tend to just go overboard and eat it very quickly & then gain a bunch of weight BUT when we DON'T have any easy to eat foods, I will simply not eat because who give a shit truly

likeeeee is it easy to eat? am I even mildly hungry? does it have a shit ton of sugar? Chances are, I've already eaten all of it

but if there's nothing like that, I only eat when I "have to", lest everyone start yelling at me for being useless, lazy, too dependent, etc., & then I just don't eat anything else

cause if there's nothing that is EASY to eat, & I have to prepare / cook / work for something to eat instead, I feel SOOO awful it's UnReal cause my brain goes "why are you going OUT OF YOUR WAY to eat. you're so weak & also stupid & should spend 1 million years without eating to make up for this" and I am like Yes Master... Either that or I have no appetite / start feeling disgusted / etc. I have the hardest life anyone's ever lived BTW

#disordered eating

[0606-hyuck]

first kiss forum

♡ everyone has their first kiss eventually. sometimes, you just have to create an online forum to find the right one. and sometimes, the right one is not at all who you expected it to be.

genre: fluff, a tiny bit of angst if you look hard enough, university!au, friends to strangers to lovers!au

paring: na jaemin x female reader

word count: 3.5K

a/n: i have never had my first kiss b4 so the description of it might be a bit off lol but i tried. this is unedited btw. my masterlist is here!

tagging: @nct-writers

Everybody has their first kiss eventually. 

First kisses are described as an experience every young girl yearns for. An experience classmates sit around in a circle and proclaim their excitement for, and gossip about their own stories. Something that, for some, was everything they'd ever hoped for and more - for others, a memory they’d rather forget. 

A first kiss was something you had not had yet. 

At the age of twenty-one, you were getting to the stage where your lack of romantic life was veering towards concerning. Now in your third year of university, you really thought that by now you would have at least had your first kiss. Or a boyfriend. Or even held someone’s hand romantically, for god’s sake!

You weren’t one to rush into things, though. You didn’t see the point in trying your hardest to get a boy’s attention when you were perfectly fine without it. Some people you knew couldn’t stand being single - for you, it was all you’d ever known. Sure, you’d wanted to be in a relationship before, but you’d always prioritised your education and grades over hooking up with people at random frat parties in the weekend. 

The only problem was, your last remaining single friend, Asi, had gone and found herself a man, and was now just as loved up as everyone else. She was the friend you’d hang out with when everyone else was on dates with their significant other, the friend you’d roll your eyes with when your other friends were going on and on about the latest cute thing their partner had done for them. Now, you were all alone, with no one to save you from the clutches of boredom or second hand embarrassment. 

You were happy for your friends - of course you were, all you wanted was for them to be content in their relationships - but it was worrying you that boys had never really shown an interest in you. You didn’t think you were ugly - in fact, you had a healthy level of self esteem - but you’d never had anyone confess their feelings for you like your friends had. You were starting to wonder if there was something wrong with you. Were you really that boring that no boys wanted to talk to you? Were you just that unlikeable?

Before your train of thought plunged itself off the rails and into a deep pit of self loathing and pity, you reminded yourself that you were, in fact, likeable. Boys had liked you before, of course they had - you were great! Only, it had been a long time since someone had had a crush on you. 

Na Jaemin had been the first boy to show a serious interest in you, back when you were both just sixteen years old. Jaemin was that boy in class that all the girls had a secret crush on. He wasn’t necessarily good looking in an “oh my god he’s so hot!” kind of way, but his bright smile, eyes that shone with curiosity and amusement, and cheeky personality had you hooked on him since the first time you’d met him. 

You’d been classmates with Jaemin since you were fourteen, and you’d had a crush on him for just as long, but it took a few more years for him to return your feelings. It was only after you were paired up for a science project together that you actually started talking to each other and becoming friends. Jaemin was virtually a massive ball of sunshine in the classroom, and ever since you were paired up together he always made sure to include you in conversations, games, and the friend groups he was in. It was a few months after your science project that you heard little snippets of conversations from his friends - rumours started circulating that Jaemin had a crush on you! 

When you brought it up with him, expecting him to brush it off as a joke his friends had started to embarrass him, you were utterly shocked when he admitted the rumours were true. He told you outright that he liked you, but didn’t expect or want to pressure you into feeling the same way back, so he simply grinned and walked away before you could respond. 

A few days later, he came into class carrying a yellow flower. You’re positive every single girl in your class had their eyes fixed on Jaemin as he walked up to your desk and placed it in front of you. The flower was frayed and browning at the edges, and it appeared Jaemin had simply ripped it out of his own back garden, but it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for you. 

After that, he constantly invited you to hang out with him and his friends at the local arcade or basketball court. He was never embarrassed to have you around, and would always make sure you felt comfortable and were having fun above all else. Soon, you would hang out together, just the two of you. You never established what your relationship was, but you both knew you were best friends, and that Jaemin liked you and you liked him just as much. 

And then, he left. 

Just like that, Jaemin was no longer a student at your school. You heard from his friends that he’d transferred to another school a couple districts over. He left without saying a word to you, and you weren’t even upset. You just wondered what would have happened between you two if he’d stayed. 

Bringing yourself back to the present, you finally focused on what Asi was saying. It was when your best friend was going on a tangent about how lovely her new boyfriend was that you made a decision. If you couldn’t get your first kiss the conventional way, then you had no choice but to resort to unorthodox methods. 

You were going to create a first kiss forum. 

It was simple, really. Create an online forum with some crucial questions - name, age, why they wanted to be your first kiss, etc - and then send it off into the online world. It took you less than thirty minutes to decide on the questions, create the forum, and then post it on a facebook page followed by students from your university. You honestly felt a little embarrassed that you were going through this much effort all for a first kiss, and you were worried about what people would say in response to your post, but after an hour all the comments people left were either them being super supportive of your initiative or people tagging their friends to apply for the position of “first-kiss-taker”.

Now all you had to do was sit back and wait a couple of days for the responses to roll in. 

“So, have you checked the responses to your forum yet?” Asi asked, reclining back into the sofa in your living room and grabbing a fistful of crisps. When you’d told her your plan to create the forum, Asi was hesitant. She didn’t believe you needed to go through all that effort just to get a first kiss - according to her, first kisses weren’t even a big deal anyway - but once she realised your mind was set she did everything in her power to be that supportive best friend you needed. 

“Not yet,” you sighed, fiddling with your phone in your hand. “I’m just nervous, you know? What if no one wants to be my first kiss, and they only applied because they thought it would be funny?”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out, Y/N. Crack that bad boy open and let’s go through some of the responses!”

You’d refrained from checking the forum since you’d posted it thus far, but at this point it had been quite a few days and the hype your post initially received had died down. Pulling up the forum on your phone, Asi leaned over your shoulder while your jaw hung open in surprise. 

“Asi, are you seeing this?” You managed to stammer out. “53 responses? That’s so much more than I was expecting. I thought I’d get, like, five at the most!”

“Damn, that is a lot,” Asi replied, beaming at you. “Now let’s narrow that 53 down to one.”

Huddled together over your screen, you and Asi spent the next few hours deciding between the applicants, searching for your ideal first kiss taker. “How about this guy, Taeyong?” She suggested.

“His responses to the questions were sweet,” you agreed, and then blanched. “Asi, he’s 25! I don’t want to have my first kiss with someone that much older than me!”

“Okay, so someone close in age with you....hmm, how about this dude, Donghyuck?”

Glancing at the screen for a second, you shook your head. “Did you see his response for the ‘why do you want to be Y/N’s first kiss’ question? He said ‘because I have a corruption kink’. No thank you.”

“God, you’re so fussy, Y/N!” Asi joked, shoving you lightly with her shoulder, although your focus was back on the applicants. 

“How about this guy? He simply put his name as J but his responses are so heartfelt,” you pointed out. “In response to the ‘why do you want to be Y/N’s first kiss’ question, he said ‘have you seen her? Y/N is literally a goddess sent down from the heavens and a first kiss is a beautiful experience for both parties and one I would love to share with her’.”

“Oh, so this J is a sweet talker then, huh?” Asi grinned. “I think you’ve already made your mind up, then. Go ahead and message him, he sounds like a good guy!”

And message him you did.

“What the hell am I supposed to wear?” 

Today was the day you’d agreed to meet this mysterious J and have your first ever kiss. After selecting J out of all the applicants, you’d messaged him with the good news that he’d been chosen. J seemed really excited, and you’d been talking with him every day leading up to when you would finally meet him. The lucky guy seemed almost perfect for you. Somehow, J knew exactly what to say in response to your messages, and every time you checked your phone you were smiling because of something funny he had said. He was genuinely sweet, and you don’t think you could have made a better choice when it came to your first kiss taker. 

Only now, you had spent too long fretting about your outfit and you were running slightly late to your meeting with J. You’d both agreed to meet at this cute little park down near the subway station close to your university - somewhere public, so you felt safe, but also somewhere that was relatively quiet and offered you some privacy. J had sent you pictures of himself before, but only pieces of his appearance - a mirror shot with his face covered by his phone, a corner of his eye and forehead, his hair - nevertheless, you still felt confident you’d made the right decision and that J was the right person for the job. 

You sent J a quick ‘I’m here now, sorry I’m late’ text once you reached the park, and headed towards your agreed meeting spot. There was an old bench secluded under a wide cherry blossom tree that you’d decided to meet J at, and because it was over the other side of the park you picked up your feet and increased the pace. 

You only slowed down when you spotted a figure, already sitting on the bench under the tree. As you got closer, you realised it was a male, around your age, dressed in a knitted brown sweater and black jeans. His light brown hair was wavy and brushed back from his face, and he appeared to be clutching something tightly in his hands. He looked vaguely familiar from this distance, you thought, but you figured it was because you were finally seeing his face in real life, rather than piecing it together through random selfies. 

That was, until you were close enough for him to notice you, and turn around to say, “hi, Y/N. It’s nice to finally meet you again.”

Standing up from the bench was Na Jaemin, your former best friend and crush, holding a bunch of yellow flowers between his hands. Of course J was Jaemin, that was just your luck.

You and Jaemin hadn’t left on good terms. Back in high school, back when you were best friends with him, Jaemin was very popular. He seemed to do everything right - from hotspotting your classmates to helping them with their homework, Jaemin was loved by everyone because of how caring he was. You were lucky enough to bear the brunt of that kindness when you were his friend, but you were also young and prone to jealousy. 

Not only was he loved by everyone, but Jaemin seemed to love everyone back as equally as much. His innate ability to charm literally everyone he talked to - from classmates to teachers to parents - was something you’d loved about him at first, but soon became the bane of your existence. You found it hard to share Jaemin’s attention with everyone else in your class, and, although you knew Jaemin liked you the most, in your eyes it seemed like he was treating your classmates the same way he treated you. 

You started questioning whether Jaemin actually liked you at all, or if you’d just read too much into the situation. You tried to ignore the sweet smiles and kind compliments he gave other girls in your class, and looking back now you realised he was only being friendly and that’s just who he was as a person, but you were starting to slip into the poisonous grasp of jealousy and feel like you were no more special than anyone else. 

One day you decided to confront Jaemin about how nice he treated everyone, and how it made you feel like he didn’t behave towards you the way someone would to their crush, and he did not take that conversation well. You don’t blame him, not really, considering you essentially told him to stop being so nice to everyone and focus on you instead. Jaemin said he wasn’t going to stop being kind to people because you felt jealous, which upset you even more, and you didn’t talk to each other in the days following your fight. 

When Jaemin left your school, you two were still very angry at each other, so he didn’t tell you he was having to leave. Quite frankly, you didn’t care. Jaemin could suck it, at that point. If he insisted on treating you the same way as your classmates, who he didn’t have a literal crush on, then he didn’t deserve you at all. You felt like a whole lot of weight and unnecessary jealousy was lifted when Jaemin left, but as you got older you started to wonder how your relationship would have turned out if you hadn’t been so damn immature. 

It’s funny, really. When you were sixteen, you thought Jaemin was going to be your first. Your first boyfriend, your first kiss, your first love. And here he was, five years later, offering to give that to you. 

“I got you flowers. I remember they used to be your favourite,” Jaemin spoke, flashing you a soft smile as he held out the bouquet of flowers to you. Now that he was standing next to you, you noticed all the traces of the sixteen year old version of him that you were familiar with. Although he had gained an extra half foot in height and lost the chubbiness of his cheeks, he retained the stunning smile and bright eyes that you fell in love with all those years ago. He really was handsome now. 

“So, you’re J?” You managed to say, confusion and surprise evident in your voice as you took the flowers. You took a seat back down on the bench and Jaemin followed your lead, sitting closely beside you. 

“That I am. Sorry I wasn’t honest with you about who I was,” he admitted. “I figured you probably wouldn’t meet up with me if you knew who J really was.” You lifted the flowers up to your nose and took a long draw of the flowery scent. Jaemin was right, that infuriatingly attentive bastard, they were your favourite. 

“Right. And yet you still applied to be my...first kiss?” 

Suddenly, you felt very embarrassed to confess you’d never had your first kiss before. Jaemin was gorgeous, and there was no way he was in the same boat as you, you thought as humiliation flooded through your body. 

“Uh yeah, about that,” Jaemin chuckled, a blush appearing on his cheeks. Hold up, why was he blushing? “When I saw your post about the first kiss forum online, I was so surprised that you’d never had your first kiss before. I kept thinking, if we hadn’t stopped talking to each other we probably would have been each other’s first kiss back in high school.”

He paused, and glanced at the ground, unable to keep eye contact with you. “I feel really bad, you know. With how things ended between us. We never dated, Y/N, but I really liked you. When I moved to my new school, I wanted to message you and tell you all about it, but because you never messaged me I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.”

Your breath caught at Jaemin’s words, and you felt a wave of guilt wash over you. “That’s not true,” you revealed, and he finally looked up at you again. “I was so angry at you, yes, but I missed you so much, too. I wanted to talk to you, but my pride stopped me from messaging you first. If you’d sent me a text I would have replied.”

“I nearly did. When I finished high school, I was going through all my old subject books and found a note you’d written me. It was so childish, something about how you would love me forever, with a stupid little love heart beside it, but I suddenly had the urge to wrap you in a massive hug and tell you I was sorry, and that I forgave you. I was going to message you that day, but we hadn’t talked for years and I thought you would find that weird,” Jaemin said sadly. 

He let out a loud sigh, and replaced the very sorry look on his face with a bright smile. “I’ve had my first kiss already, but when I saw your forum I thought it wasn’t too late to give you yours!” 

“Wait, what?” You furrowed your brows, your brain still processing the fact that Na Jaemin missed you as much as you missed him, if not more. “You actually want to be my first kiss?”

“Of course! I couldn’t give it to you when we were sixteen, but it’s not too late to make up for past mistakes, Y/N.” Jaemin placed a hand over your own and pulled it closer to him, wrapping you in his warmth. “Y/N, I would be honoured to be your first kiss, if you’ll have me.”

Unsure as to how to reply, and transfixed by how seriously Jaemin was taking this whole ordeal, you simply nodded your head eagerly. His eyes lit up with pure happiness when you gave him the green light, and Jaemin turned on the bench so you were facing each other directly. He placed a hand lightly on your jaw and tilted your head upwards - not with force but with a dominance gained only from having kissed others before - and searched your eyes for any signs of resistance, finding none. 

One minute you were gazing back into Jaemin’s rich brown eyes, and the next his lips were on yours, pressing softly against your mouth. It was like an alarm went off in your head, screeching to you that your childhood crush, your first love, was in fact actually kissing you and this wasn’t a figment of your imagination. Using his palm to tilt your head slightly to the side, Jaemin deepened the kiss and you grasped for his forearms as he increased the intensity by parting your unpracticed lips. Tremors passed from your head down to every single fibre in your body, and through the pleasure and dizziness you were vaguely aware that you were kissing him back. Kissing Jaemin was exactly how you imagined it would be, yet it was a whole new experience at the same time. A perfect mix of familiar and foreign.

After a few long moments, Jaemin released your lips and leaned back, a smile equal parts bashful and smug crossing his face. His face was red, and you weren’t quite sure whether it was from a lack of air or because of what you’d just done together, but what you did know was that you couldn’t think of someone more perfect to share your first kiss with. 

“So,” Jaemin grinned. “I think we have about five years worth of kissing to catch up on.”

© 0606-hyuck 2021. All Rights Reserved.

#neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct-writers #dreamwritersnet #nct #nct dream #na jaemin #jaemin nct #nct jaemin #jaemin #jaemin x reader #jaemin scenario #jaemin imagine #jaemin fic

[breadqueen95]

Hi! I love your Bucky Christmas headcanon and I was wondering if you would something similar for Tony? I’d especially love to know what you think his favorite traditions are from his childhood, since he has such a strained relationship with his father but a good one with his mother.

Thanks and congrats!

(Btw I’m super excited for the next chapter of reflections! The series is like crack! I’m am irrecoverably addicted!)

omg hi hello!!!!! thank you SO MUCH for saying that about reflections it seriously means the fucking WORLD. i'm in the process of writing ch.5 and now that i'm on break i'm hoping to get it out soon!

BUT YES ONTO OUR FAVORITE SASS LORD HERE WE GO

tony stark x fem!reader

like every traumatized avenger in that compound, tony has a love hate relationship with the holidays

it's a lot better than when he was a kid and he'll be the first to admit that

but he never used to understand what everyone meant by saying that christmas was the "happiest time of the year"

happy for who? couldn't have been his dad, that's for fucking sure

if anything it felt like his dad just got angrier this time of the year

he worked up until he couldn't, usually when maria guilted him enough that it got him out of the lab for an evening or two

but christmas with his mom...that was one place where his happiest childhood memories live

maria and tony had always had a very loving relationship. it was like she knew she had to offset the coldness he got from howard, and she took extra care to make sure he always knew how loved he was

there were a few traditions maria made sure she and tony celebrated together

as musically gifted as she was, she had to include that in some way

howard was always pushing science and technology. tony was a brilliant kid, absolutely. but he needed some of the arts in his life

she always had christmas music playing. whether it was from the old timey record player she kept in pristine condition, or the grand piano she always seemed to be tinkering with, the stark house was never quiet if she had any say about it

she'd play that music loud and proud as she and tony decorated the large house together, laughing and giggling as the weight of all the expectations on the pair of them melted away

that tradition fell away as tony got older. he drifted away, got angrier, acted out

that last christmas they spent together in 1991, maria actually took him aside before she left and said

"next year. you and me. we're breaking out the old records again. you're not getting out of this one, kiddo"

it's hard to keep even an ounce of positivity toward the holiday when he lost the one person who made it worthwhile

he lost any sort of appreciation for it after that, preferring to ignore it altogether if he's being honest

he was really confused and a little put out the first year he spent christmas with the avengers

everyone was getting in the spirit, celebrating, getting happier...he just didn't get it

so tony tried to hide away from everyone those first few years. buried himself in his work, forced himself to forget

because fuck did he miss his mom. he misses her every day. christmas only makes it worse

then you come along

you're not the biggest fan of christmas yourself, but ever since joining the avengers along with wanda and pietro (he's still alive in this one go with it), you think it could be nice to celebrate with a family

it's everyone's first year at the compound. your relationship with tony is new, only a few months at this point

as much as he loves being with you, he still gets a pit in his stomach this time of year

so he'll quietly excuse himself with a kiss to your cheek or your shoulder, mumbling some excuse about work

you know him better than anyone, and you know he's struggling

someone tell tony he's easier to read than a picture book hello you're not fooling anyone bby

you know enough about his past to know that this is the hardest time of year for him, even past his issues with his family

on one of those nights, he ducks out of a christmas movie night last minute

as everyone gets sucked into the movie, you wander downstairs to find him tinkering away at something

his mouth is pressed into a thin line, and that dark brown hair of his is all mussed, like he's run his hands through it a million times since being down here

"i don't blame you. some of these christmas movies are way too sappy"

he glances up at you, tired smile on his face (he can't help but smile around you)

"yeah. never really got that kind of stuff"

"that's okay, me either"

you plop down on a stool next to him at his bench. he doesn't even hesitate as he wraps an arm around your shoulder, kissing your temple

"we can make our own traditions, though. just for us."

he doesn't know what to say at first, so he just kind of sits there and thinks about it

"if you hate the whole idea, that's absolutely fine. fuck the holidays who even cares--"

"do you like christmas music?"

tony wasn't even going to say anything, never bring it up

but he knows maria would absolutely love you. he knows without a doubt that if she were still alive, she'd want you involved with the christmas music decorating as soon as possible

you're the first person he wants to share it with. so he does

"i love christmas music"

so, even with residual discomfort in his stomach, he grabs your hand and pulls you out of your seat, all while asking FRIDAY to start playing some old holiday classics

he doesn't have any decorations, so he figures this is a good placeholder until he can get a few small ones for you to put in your shared apartment

tony holds you close as you dance, twirling you among the scrap metal and countless gadgets he and bruce have around the lab

it's here, right in this moment, where he tells you he loves you for the first time

as he presses his lips to yours, tony finally admits it to himself

christmas can be okay. as long as he has you

after that, tony just feels........warm????? all the time?????

the only time he even slightly understood the whole holiday hype was when he was with his mom, and now.......

he gets it

and he finds himself wanting to TRY things with you

but just you at first. baby steps

he opens up about it to you, exploring the holidays and how he wants to see what the big deal is

you guys start by decorating your shared apartment at the compound

nothing too big at first; just a tree, a couple of strings of lights, little knick knacks here and there

as he's holding you on the couch one night, fingers tracing along your back under a warm sweater, tony looks around the apartment and really feels......

cozy?????? tony stark feels COZY??????

all he knows is that he wants MORE OF IT. IMMEDIATELY

MORE YOU AND MORE CHRISTMAS

SERIOUSLY WHY WAS HOWARD SUCH A FUCKING DICK ABOUT IT THEY COULD'VE BEEN HAVING FUN THAT WHOLE TIME

and we all know this: tony only knows go big or go home

it starts with him adding more decorations to the apartment. but he doesn't want the space to get overwhelming, so he branches out

he starts quietly adding decorations to the lab

then to the communal kitchen

he ABSOLUTELY steals you away with those stupid cute puppy eyes of his asking

"honey i bought more lights and i need an extra hand"

how can you say no to him he's having so much fun WE'RE HEALING HIS INNER CHILD HERE HELLO

then you ask him if he wants to try other things, like maybe baking something together, or taking a walk in the snow

of course he wants to try all those things it's extra time he gets to spend adoring you?????

but what's even more surprising if that he asks if you think he should start including some of the team

this of course leads into him asking peter to host a christmas movie night with the classics he can't miss

"mr. stark we already did that you said you had to work?"

"forget that happened i'm traumatized and trying christmas"

when sitting there with everyone, tony starks to feel a little panicky again

all the togetherness just reminds him of childhood stress

but as soon as you sit next to him, you're comforting warmth pressed right against his side, it slowly melts away and he relaxes into you

throughout the night, he's reminded all over again that family can be something you choose. he feels happier with these idiots and with you than he ever did growing up

later on that night, after everyone's gone to their own separate rooms for bed, tony has you wrapped up in his arms and you're dancing together again

he gets you under one of the archways and he stops, murmuring in your ear

"one more tradition i wanted to try, sweetheart"

of course it's mistletoe are you kidding

but even as you rolls your eyes, you're kissing him softly in the gentle twinkling light of the tree

he whispers against your lips

"thanks for being my family. i love you"

"thank you for being mine. i love you too"

"even with my daddy issues?"

"even with your daddy issues tony now shut up and kiss me"

AHHHHH OKAY HERE IT IS I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!!!!

#tony stark #tony stark headcanon #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #headcanon requests #mcu headcanons #marvel headcanons #mcu christmas headcanon #someone give tony a hug pls #i volunteer hello #i bet he smells expensive

[mcmoth]

Tommy and Fundy.

/rp

Ahhh!!! Ahhh my beloveds,,,,, my scrimblo and skrunkly,,, ohgghghh my boyyss......

Seriously I cannot emphasize enough how much I would LOVE to have them interact more in lore. They're Wilbur's boys!!! Something between nephew and uncle/brothers, with so much that ties them together, and yet, they stay so separated....

There is just so much that I could get into in regards to what conflicts they could have, so I'm just gonna put them in bullet points:

Fundy holding resentment for Tommy for how he sort of 'took' his place as Wilbur's son, as his top priority. I'm still utterly haunted by how c!Wilbur first elected Tommy as president at nov 16, then Tubbo, but never Fundy. Never even thought of him. God damn it, he's not even in the fucking anthem. While Tommy is thought of as the muse of L'manberg, the one who fought for it the hardest, Fundy was just remembered as a traitor in the end.... it fucks me up so much. I would love to have Fundy be angry at Tommy for this, more subconciously I think since he's not really one to blame people like that, and that would sort of lead them to talk, and...

I would love for Fundy, through Tommy, to learn more about Wilbur. To learn what was truly happening in Pogtopia, why he left them all the way he did, how he hung out with Tommy after his revival, still.... and how he's now kinda left Tommy, too. I think Fundy would sort of imagine that Tommy had it great - that Wilbur loved Tommy more than he ever did him and trusted in him and oh, how great would it be, to be at his side, to be so valued.... only to hear Tommy talk about it all, and realize "Oh... oh, he's kind of fucked up from it all." And sort of reconsider his whole view of Wilbur, why his dad left him, and whether he would have liked to be in Tommy's shoes after all.....

(Before I scare anyone, btw, I am not a Wilbur anti, I love him very very much, this is just from their perspective)

Both of their desire for guidance. For their whole lives, they've looked for people to follow, for people to protect them. Their stories mirror each other in that way, i think... for Tommy, it was Wilbur, then Dream, then Techno, then Wilbur again, and now Phil.... and for Fundy, it was Wilbur, then Schlatt, then Quackity, and he also confided in Phil at some point like Tommy. Both of them share this energy of having daddy issues, of being so desperate for paternal figures in their lives... both of them ache so desperately for family. And so wouldn't it make sense, for them to find it through each other? They are literal family, wouldn't it be so healing for them to remember that and reconcile?

On the other hand, though, while they are prone to following others, both of them also share the want for carving a life for themselves that is their own. And while Fundy aches to have people recognise him for his achievements, to recognise him in general, Tommy mostly deals with the opposite problem of too many eyes on him, too much attention that he'd like to get away from. They share so many similarities, really - characters that used to be fairly prideful, that loved to get up to mischief, that mask their pain with humor, that are so desperate to not be alone. I think they could find a lot of solidarity in each other, and see how each of their lives suck in different ways, and, through that, sort of come to understand what they need to find that balance in life, that happiness.

Speaking of solidarity - their relationship with Schlatt/Dream. It's canon that Schlatt was an abusive asshole, and that Fundy geniunely grew to believe in him and seek his approval and even come to see him as a father figure while he felt so distant from Wilbur. All to be awaited with only scathing words and smashed bottles, when Schlatt's life came to an end. I wonder if Fundy still misses him. If he regrets ever becoming a spy. If he ever had doubts and believed in Schatt's insults, if he hates him now. There's a lot of differences between c!disk duo and Fundy and Sclatt's relationships, but there are common themes, too, and I think it would be interesting to have that be recognised. Once again, they serve as foils - Fundy's mistreatment being born in neglect, and Tommy's obsession.

Fundy is alone. He feels so painfully alone, he is such a goddamn lonely character.... which is why I think becoming friends with Tommy would be so good for him. Tommy is a people magnet, he attracts attention like moths to a flame, he's painfully social and he could help build ties for Fundy between so many other characters. That's not to say that Fundy doesn't have important and deep relationships on his own, that he couldn't find them by himself - he does, and he has. But I think, with how Tommy's also grown to be more and more of an open and genuine person with time, he could help Fundy crack his shell and step out of it a bit. I think he could help him feel actually seen.

Now, there's probably more that I could talk about, but the question remains... when, and how, would they actually come to talk? Well...

It's hard to say. In canon, they haven't shown much interest in actively interacting with each other. But if c!Tommy does move on with a plotline where he builds up a new community, sort of a new L'manburg, that could be one way for them to cross paths. Or with how Dream is out, and Las Nevadas is so panicked about it, that would naturally lend to Fundy coming to Tommy's aid. But I don't think any meaningful connection would come with that, unless the elephant in the room is brought in.... which is, obviously, Wilbur.

It pains me so much that Wilbur and Fundy haven't reconciled yet. Haven't even talked. His dad has just.... forgotten him. Still thinks of him as a traitor. I think...

I think the thing that would make Wilbur want to reach out again would be learning about exile. If he learns that he's failed one kid, in such a major way, without knowing.... maybe, hopefully, he would come to realize he had another one waiting for him, too. And with how c!crime boys healing would mean c!Wilbur healing in general, moving past his warped view of himself, maybe it would begin to strip layers of his paranoia as well, and he would begin to doubt his view of Fundy, too. Leading him to finally, finally, go talk to him. And through knowing Wilbur again, Fundy would come to grow closer to Tommy, too.

Or, maybe, a perhaps more juicy option - is that Fundy sees Wilbur supporting Tommy, just like he always has, from his perspective - always Tommy, and never him - and it leaves him to finally break. For him to confront Tommy, since Wilbur still refuses to engage with him, for him to air his grievances and try to seek an answer for why. Why he was abandoned, why he was never answered. And thus, it prompts Tommy to emphathise with Fundy, for them to talk to each other, and together... they come to face Wilbur, and heal. As a family, at last.

So..... ya!!! This is so freaking long; as you can see, I have many thoughts about them shhshdhsh,, they are my two special boys. This dynamic would probably never come to full fruition, but... one can dream. Sigh..... </333

#dream smp #tommyinnit #fundy #meta #character analysis #ramble #prank duo #< just my own name for their duo idk if its taken yet and its not official #wilbur soot #abuse mention tw #ask #anon

[jaunebur]

hellooo what is your top 5 georgebur songs? :))

HELLOOOOOO! I am finally getting here, you actually get 24 hours delivery, this is probs going to be long because ya girl loves an explanation ;)) btw all links are to youtube so anyone can listen immediately

l'amour dans le mauvais temps - mika

this song is actually the bane of my life bc it's only on youtube and some obscure french album but it is just... one of the most gorgeous songs ever. if you don't speak french you should just to understand this song. srsly. my favourite part is 'La météo cruelle, moi j'aime autant // Faire l'amour dans le mauvais temps' which essentially means that the weather is cruel but i love making love in bad weather just as much as normally and idk. has always made me cry and then when i think of grgbr and the florida issue i just think of this :( very sad but also very much love in the moment

don't you worry - oh wonder

i can't believe that nobody has mentioned this one yet!!!!! it's where the title of 'it felt like love', you know, the MOST iconic georgebur fanfiction (according to ao3 i have read it 16 times) comes from, and it is just one of the loveliest songs ever,, it has these GORGEOUS harmonies omg. i actually can't pick a favourite parts all the verses are just so gorgeous.. but to give a taste one of the lyrics is 'And in the morning, you adored me 'til the sun went down // And then I knew you were the one I couldn't live without // If I'm honest, it felt like love'

lover - taylor swift

i think this is probably one of the first georgebur association ones that i had, and i just love it sososososo much,, honestly one of the greatest love songs to exist but who am i to say it. anyway the lyric of this one that makes me go absolutely f e r a l is 'And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me // And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover' and okay seeing it here it doesn't look that impressive but please srlsly give this song a chance it is so wonderful gorgeous them people in love okay-

clarity - zedd ft. foxes

ngl part of the reason this one is here is because it was on the radio once when i was having a mental breakdown because of a fic,, however it is so vibey and brilliant and georgebur. the lyrics are so good and it is so upbeat esp compared to the others. fuckin love this song. not traditional georgebur vibes, but this is what wilbur was saying when he said george im drunk and im lonely come visit me soooo. anyway taster lyrics ''Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need // Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why' ;)

end credits - eden ft. leah kelly

was originally gonna end with a happy one but this song just punches me in the gut so hard i may or may not have tears in my eyes as i write this,but uhm, this song slaps so hard it is very sad but slaps so hard and honestly all the songs from end credits and i think you think too much of me are georgebur coded, but this one always hits me the hardest. anyway here's a lyric. i love eden. 'And all we'll ever need is another day // We can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away // And live like shooting stars // You can wish away forever // But you'll never find a thing like today' ugh. my heart.

anyways that's it lol!!! think i might post some spotify playlists with my complete list of songs that i associate with them and also other ccs/cs/dynamics because fun fact the main reason i listen to any songs is because of who they remind me of, and most of my playlists are sorted by that!! hope you enjoy <3

#song recs #georgebur #grgbr #wigy #wiggy #wilburnotfound #wnf #wilbur can you stop making stupid ship names pls y can't it just be georgebur and censored georgebur srsly #my post

[moral-turpitudes]

To the Moon:

A/N: Totes cried while writing this but it’s fine.

Trigger Warnings: Angst, Descriptions of Character Death, Drinking, Pregnancy, Cancer, Fluff, Grief, etc.

Word Count: 4,225 

Characters: Thomas Shelby x Female!Reader x Anna Shelby (OC?/Daughter)

Request: “Hi this is my first request and it’s an angsty Tommy x Reader where the reader is an old flame and they didn’t work out but Thomas still loves the reader anyway, and she sends him a letter out of the blue. Apparently the reader got pregnant and had a kid but she’s really sick now and doesn’t want her kid in an orphanage. It could end in fluff but doesn’t have to.”

Requested by: @wierdestmoppet​

A/N: Get ready for some sad shit. I saw the request and this is what my mind jumped to lol. I wrote this to be set like around Season 1-ish btw.

Summary: Life and death have a way of revealing the truth within us, and it can cause things to happen at the most unexpected times. This is especially true for Thomas Shelby as he realizes not even he can stop death.

Part 1 | Part 2

“Dear Thomas,

How are you? It’s been a long while and I hope you and your family are doing okay. I know this may be out of the blue, but you know I’ve never been much for planning things. You also know that I prefer getting straight to the point, so disregard any smudged writing in advance. I’m trying to keep the tears at bay while writing this, but I figured I’d burn any bridges while I still can.

I know we parted in anger but I’d love to know if you’d forgive me for how I acted. When I left during the months after you had gotten back from France, every fiber in my being wanted to stay there with you, but I couldn’t. I had no one besides you and your family and it made me feel worse, like a burden. I was so scared you’d send me away if I told you then...so I made that decision for you and I know it destroyed you.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that, and now of all times I’m sitting here wishing I could be back there in that dirt-covered town, walking by the cut with you just like old times...but I can’t, not in this life anyway.

It saddens me greatly to know I’ll never see your face again, but for the sake of time I’ll be blunt. A couple weeks after I left, call it karma if you will, I fell more ill and went to the doctor. When I left, my suspicions were confirmed. I was pregnant.

I fought the urge to call you though and I regret that to this day, but I’m writing this now to hopefully make up for it.

I had not been with anyone else the whole time you were deployed. But if you can think back, you’ll remember our time at the Garrison and how you’d brought me home. That night stuck with me for nine months, Thomas. I had a beautiful baby girl who I named Anna. And the best part is that she has your eyes.

With all that said, I know this is a lot to take in, but I have one dying wish. You see, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and the doctors said I have only days left to live. I’m...I’m trying so hard not to cry because I don’t want to wake the poor girl, but I can’t go on much longer and she deserves a good life...One that I can’t give her. I’d love for her to not have to go to the orphanage, as it would break my heart. So I’m asking you to do probably one of the hardest things you’ve had to do in some time, my love. I’m asking if you’d be willing to take in our Anna?

I’ve always wanted her to meet her father, and I wanted to wait until she got older to do so...but it seems life had a way of throwing off those plans as you can see.

I just wanted to let you know in case a lovely little one year old shows up at the shop soon. I’ve sent my friend here in London to take her to you after I pass. I know you may not love me anymore Tom, but I hope that whatever love is still in your heart, you can give that to our daughter. And that you can also find a place in your heart for forgiveness, I know I have.

I’m not expecting anything else, but I truly wish you the best in life, both for you and the family. I’ll think of Anna and you when I sleep tonight. That’s about as close to being in heaven as I can think of.

With all my love,

Y/N Y/L/N”

Thomas set down the letter, hands shaking as he slid his finger over the dried ink that was smudged in various spots by her tears.

He sat there with his head in his hands, tears silently falling from his eyes as the memories came flooding back.

He had just gotten the business in line, and had a good thing going with his family. Even securing a legal betting license, but just as he’d known all his life, he couldn’t get his hopes up when it came to love. Every woman he’d ever loved seemed to have an expiration date, and this one tore him to the core.

As he sat there, the rain pattered on the windows of his office at the shop. The sound only fueling the rage inside him as he came to terms with the letter.

He had thought she’d moved because she found someone new or thought she’d gone off to find a job somewhere perhaps. But he didn’t expect this. After all, he still loved her. He was never good at showing it but he truly did love her and now she was being ripped from him without even getting to say goodbye.

He took a shot from his glass at his desk and threw it in frustration, shards exploding on the ground like tiny specs of glitter.

As he watched the shards shimmer in the dim light, he remembered the fancy envelope. Frantically picking it up and seeing a small picture hanging out of the corner that he must’ve missed before.

It was of Y/N holding Anna. Y/N had a weakened look to her as she sat on the steps of her apartment in a light green dress. It was her favorite color after all, and he knew that.

She had the brightest smile despite her frail state as well and it instantly caused him to smile too. When his eyes landed on his daughter it only grew and he felt his throat tighten as he cleared his throat, trying to keep his emotions at bay.

She indeed had his striking blue eyes though, and the beautiful color of her mother’s hair. With tears threatening to fall, he noticed she had her smile too, thanking whatever gods above that she didn’t get his toothy grin.

As he admired the picture, he remembered seeing the date and a phone number scribbled on the letter, her handwriting noticeably declining compared to when she used to write him long ago during the war.

Without a second thought, he called her number hoping she’d answer. His heart stopping for a moment as he heard static on the other end before it picked up, a faint voice saying “Y/L/N Residence.” in response.

“H-Hello, I’m sorry it’s late but this is Thomas Shelby. Is Y/N there?” He asked, his voice trembling as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“I never thought you’d call...” She said.

“You sound...different.” He said.

Y/N laughed, and he swore he could feel his heart pound at the faint sound of it.

“Death does that to ya.” She said, making light of the situation.

“Y/N...I-I got your letter. I know we don’t have much time...but I love you. I do. I-I love you so fucking much okay?” He said frantically, sitting down at his desk.

“I’m not dead yet.” She lightly chuckled.

“I know...just wanted to let you know I do love you, and that I forgive you. For everything.” He said quietly.

“I thought you’d moved on Tom...But I love to you too. I’m so sorry I’ve put you through this...” she said, breathing heavily.

“Don’t you worry sweetheart. You’ve done nothing wrong. I-uhm...I haven’t moved on. I could never move on from you, Y/N...” He said, her name on his tongue like a spark. He hadn’t said her name so often in ages.

“Did you get the picture?” She asked.

“Yes. You’re beautiful. Anna is too. Beautiful just like her mother.” He said, holding the picture in his hand.

“I was so excited when she opened her eyes. I’m so glad she has yours.” She said, her voice fading a bit as she reminisced.

“And I’m glad she has your smile my love. Can’t have her running around with a smile like mine aye?” He joked.

“Oh stop.” She chuckled.

He laughed lightly as she continued, her breathing audible over the phone.

“I’m happy the letter got to you when it did. I was trying to hold out for you both.” She said, her voice thickening as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I’m happy it did too. You’re the strongest woman I know. You know that right?” He said, wiping his own tears from his eyes as he heard her crying.

“I want our Anna to grow up strong too. Have you considered my offer?” She asked.

Thomas hesitated, his hands were shaking more than they had when first reading the letter.

“Yes. I-I don’t have a nursery yet, but I’ll be able to get things sorted in no time, alright love?” He said.

Y/N sighed with relief. “Good...you don’t know how happy that makes me. I’m...I’m holding her little hand right now. She’s got a firm grip just like her daddy.” She said, sniffling.

“Good. She can rough house with Finn when she’s older.” He said.

“Just...protect her Tommy. She’s so sweet. I love her so much...” She said, her voice weakening.

“I love you, to the moon and back you hear me? Is the nurse with you?” He asked, noticing her voice changing.

“Y-yes. My friend is too. Told her to bring Anna as soon as I go. I-I’m so scared Tom...” She said, her voice cracking as she cried.

“And I love you to the moon and back too sweetheart. I just wish I could have you here with me.” She continued.

“I know you’re scared Y/N. Just hold Anna’s little hand and listen to my voice...okay? Everything will be alright. I-I promise.” He said, his own voice cracking as more tears ran down his face.

“I’ll always protect our daughter. And I’ll tell her how much you meant to me and how much you loved her. I’ll always love you. Always, to the moon and back aye?” He said.

Her breath shallowed as she answered, the last of her strength fading as she spoke.

“I love you both. To the moon...and back.” She said, taking a final breath before her eyes closed and her body went slack, including the finger that her daughter was clutching onto while lying beside her in bed.

The line was silent as Tommy listened. His heart nearly broke when he heard Anna’s cries, and her friend and the nurse sniffling as they helped around the room.

“M-Mr. Shelby? This is the nurse. I know this is hard...but would you like her ashes or would you prefer her to have a traditional burial? She never got the chance to specify.”

He wiped his tears on his sleeve and looked out the window as the rain fell, the moon shining brightly as he gazed up.

“Traditional burial. She needs to be where she’s loved. My family will be in touch as soon as we can.” He said.

“Alright. We recommend doing it soon, tomorrow perhaps. Her friend just left with Anna and will be by your shop in the morning.” She said.

“Uhm...yeah tomorrow is fine. Bring Y/N to the fields and we’ll take care of the rest. I’ll be here at the shop when Anna gets here.” He said, his mind feeling like it was about to explode.

“Alright. I will see you tomorrow Mr. Shelby.” She said.

“Alright.” He whispered before hanging up the phone.

He frantically strode over to his whiskey stash, downing a good portion of it before he ran to the shops bathroom. The mixture of suddenly ingesting all that alcohol and his frazzled nerves taking its toll.

When he composed himself, he freshened up as best he could and splashed cold water over his face, trying to wash the memories and the rush of the alcohol away.

As he made his way back to his office, he thought to call everyone. Even if they were sleeping, this was the one time he truly needed everyone in the family.

“Polly? It’s me. I’m going to need uhm...a crib...and a funeral lined up in the fields. Can you bring the crib here to the shop? I-I guess I’ll need anything baby related.” He stammered.

“Holy mother...slow down please! What are you talking about?!” She asked tiredly through the phone.

“It’s Y/N...yes...her....she left me because she was pregnant and she had the baby and she’s mine. Her name is Anna and she’ll be here in the morning. Y/N she uhm...she died. I just talked to her as she passed alright? She ended up having fucking cancer. She wrote to me and...and it was her dying wish that I take care of Anna for her. I need everyone here. This is the one thing I can’t do alone, Poll.” He said frantically.

Polly stayed silent as she processed what was said, he could hear her sniffling as she spoke.

“Christ have mercy....I’ll call everyone in. You try to get some sleep even if you’re lying on the shop floors. You can’t take care of your daughter drunk like that. I can hear it in your voice.” She said before hanging up.

Polly quickly got ready, waking up little Finn and sadly explaining to him what happened. Together they gathered an old crib from when Ada stayed over with Karl a couple nights, and she found some baby food and diapers.

Next on her list was to call Ada as she had more things at the ready, and she and the rest of the blinders were just as shocked as the news rolled in.

2 hours had passed and Tommy had forced himself to lie down with his coat draped over him on his office floor. The half empty bottle of whiskey smashed to pieces from when he’d gotten off the phone with Polly.

His eyes were blood shot and moving rapidly under his closed eyelids, dreams of coming to save Y/N from the inevitable somehow threatening his mind as he watched her disappear like a ghost. His eyes flew open though as he heard the shop doors close. His tragic slumber interrupted further by numerous heavy boots on the floor.

He sat up slowly, trying to smooth out his hair and putting his coat on as the draft from the cool night air crept in through the creaky floors and window sills.

He sat there on the floor, not having the strength to get up as Polly and the rest of his blinder brothers came into the dark room.

“Tommy...Polly told us what’s happened. I’m so sorry...” Ada said, holding a large bag of everything baby related that she could find. Little Finn held a small crib and Polly had a blanket in her arms as well as a small bag of food.

“Everything was fine a couple hours ago, I was just ‘bout to go home then I saw the letter on my desk...” He said, wishing selfishly that he could turn back time.

“Look mate...we have your back. Just tell us what ya need done and we’ll do it. It’s a family meeting after all.” John said, nervously biting the toothpick in his mouth.

“I...I spoke with the nurse. She said they recommend having the funeral tomorrow. We’re having it in the field like we usually do. It’s what she would’ve wanted probably. I couldn’t let them burn her and stuff her in some urn. She deserves better. God damn it...” He said putting his head in his hands. He’d always been the one in control. He’d always had a solid plan, a solid mode of attack, but this was something he had no control over. Just as much as life had control over death. It was all out of his hands.

“I’ll go get Johnny Dogs and the Lee’s help with all that, you stay here Tom.” John said, kissing Esme goodbye as he went out into the night.

“Oi, brother do you want me to go with him? I promise I won’t do anything this time.” Arthur said, crouching down by his brother and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t care, as long as Anna gets here safely and as long as Y/N can have a decent place to be buried in. That’s all I’m on about now. Fuck the rivalries, for one day.” He said. It wasn’t like him to stop condoning a lot of violence, but perhaps this made him have a change of heart.

He glanced at the photo she sent him, his eyes glossing over as he held it in his shaking hands.

“She has my eyes.” He said, his own filling with tears that not many of his family had seen in so long.

“She’s beautiful.” Polly said, sitting by him on the floor. Little Finn helped set the crib down and Esme and Ada helped clean up the mess Tommy had made.

“She is...” he said.

Around 4 hours later, John and some of the Lee’s returned and told them they’d gotten everything set up and Tommy had met with the nurse. She was dressed in a black dress and a black coat, and holding a silver necklace with a light green stone in it. It was Y/N’s that Tommy had given her before he went off to war.

“She wanted you to keep this, to give to Anna...she thought maybe as an 18th birthday gift would be nice...” She said, wiping a tear from her eye.

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.” He said, putting the necklace in his jacket, clasping the button on the small pocket so it was secure.

As the night blurred into the morning, Polly and Esme napped in the chairs as Tommy rested his head at his desk. Finn and the rest all finding places to doze off to in various corners of the shop.

As much as Thomas hated everyone sleeping uncomfortably, he knew it was good they were here. He needed the support whether his pride liked it or not.

It was around 6 am when the nurse arrived again, letting him know Y/N’s funeral things were all set up. And it wasn’t long after that a small car pulled up. A woman with blonde hair and a black dress getting out quickly as she reached for the little girl.

Her faint cries were heard as Thomas watched from the doorway, alert and ready to do what he had to do for the coming days, and eventually years.

“Hello Mr. Shelby. My name is Jess. I was a good friend of Y/N’s. Here’s your daughter. I hope she’ll be a comfort to you.” She said quickly as she handed her to him.

He nervously cradled her into his arm as she squirmed in defiance at first. The new person holding her making her only want her mother more.

“Hey...hey...shhh. It’s alright love. It’s okay. Daddy’s here. It’s okay.” He cooed, carefully swaying a bit as he held her. As she adjusted to her new surroundings, she gradually stopped crying, her bright blue eyes opening and landing on her fathers face. Tears were coating her cheeks as she looked up at him in silence, curiously as she took in the man holding her.

“It’s okay. I promise.” He said, gently wiping her tears as he carried her inside.

Polly and the girls gasped quietly so as not to startle her too much. But she cried nonetheless, the new people overwhelming her. Tommy cooed again and gave her his finger to hold, helping her out of her crying fit.

“You’re a natural Tommy. Must’ve been all the babysitting when we were little.” Ada said, as she watched her niece slowly stop crying.

“I can only hope so.” He said, looking down at his little girl. John and Arthur and the others came near as quietly as they could, watching as she had a death grip on Tommy’s finger.

“She’s a strong little bugger. Finn you’ll have to show her the ropes ya know.” Arthur said, Finn looked on curiously at his new niece and nodded.

“Not till she’s older. We have to protect her alright, Y/N will strike me down if we don’t.” Tommy said, smiling a bit as he wondered where her soul was now.

“How about we let you be? We’ve set everything up in your office, so it should suffice until later today when you can take her home. The funeral is at noon. So everyone get home and get ready and meet at the field.” Polly said, before patting Thomas’ shoulder. He was in shock at the nights events, but his daughter luckily helped him from spiraling too far down.

The hours leading up to the funeral were spent trying to feed and change her and having Polly come back early to show him the ropes. Anna was dressed in a small black dress and wrapped in the soft blanket Polly had brought, her cries echoing throughout the shop as everyone gathered their things.

“She’s gonna be a little hell-raiser, I already know.” Polly said.

“Good. Maybe she can take over this place someday aye?” Tommy said, placing his cap on as Polly nestled her into the car with her.

“If she wants to that is.” Polly said, closing the door and looking at the little bundle. Tommy started the car and drove off towards the fields, the bonfire sending smoke into the air upon their arrival.

Tommy stopped the car and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he sat there.

“Are you alright? We can take a minute if you need it Tom.” Polly asked, putting her hand in his shoulder.

He wiped a stray tear from his eye and ran a hand over his face before looking back at his little girl. Her eyes wandering over him as he sat there.

“No. I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine, we just have to say goodbye that’s all.” He said, getting out of the car and gently picking up Anna.

She protested at first, her eyes welling up with tears as she looked around, but they stopped once she saw her fathers face. He was grinning slightly at her and stroking her hair, trying to make sure she was alright.

“She’s okay. She’s probably bloody overwhelmed, poor thing. It’ll be like that for a while, but you can do this Thomas.” Polly said, walking towards the field.

“We can do this right Anna? We have to say bye to mummy alright? It’ll be okay my love.” He said, her cries stopping as he walked with her in his arms and towards the wagon and the bonfire.

The smoke invaded everyone’s lungs as the flames grew around the wagon. Everyone who knew her back when they dated coming together to say some nice words or to offer up small prayers.

Tommy couldn’t say anything, fearing he’d break down, but he stood there holding their daughter, throwing a rose towards the flames and silently thinking of her. Hoping she’d watch over them while she was up there.

As the ceremony ended, he wiped a stray tear away and carried the little girl around the remains of the fire, trying to think of a plan for their new life.

Anna mumbled as he sat with her on a nearby log, giving her rose petals to play with from one of the leftover bouquets.

“Those were your mums favorite.” He said, hearing her mumbling in baby babble.

“M-mama.” She said lightly, looking out at the fire. Thomas felt his throat closing as she said it, wishing nothing more than to bring her back.

“Yes love...Mama is gone but dads got ya now love. She loved you so much...” He said, tear running down his cheek as he kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him as he held her on his lap, still gripping his hand like a security blanket and smiling like Y/N.

Over the next couple months they both grew used to each other’s company. She was babbling more and not crying as much, but she could always sense something was missing. Thomas was home more now than he’d ever been, always keeping an eye on her and taking her to the shop when he’d go to work. Everyone loved her though, as they all took turns watching the little girl.

“She’s doing so well. I know Y/N would be proud, Tommy.” Ada said, patting his shoulder as he stood at the window, looking at the night sky.

“She would aye? I’m seeing more of Y/N in her each day. Only a matter of time before she takes Finn out though.” Tommy said smirking.

“I can’t wait to see that.” Ada said, slowly walking away to do her paperwork.

Tommy walked in his office to see Finn playing with her, giving her random toys as she sat up in a chair, and watching her throw them to the side as soon as she saw her father.

She smiled her little smile and threw her hands up towards him as he walked to her, crouching down and scooping her up as she giggled.

In the silence between them he’d often look up after the long day and see the moon, hoping Y/N would be looking back at them from up there, and he’d whisper to himself that they were alright, hoping in some way she’d know they were.

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[the-piece-of-spadille]

May I ask for 30(croc), 34(reader) and 84(croc) from the follower milestone prompt list with sir crocodile pretty please. Maybe some angst that ends in fluff? Thank you luv and congratulations on the milestone you earned it! Have a great day!

Hey luv! I was hoping someone would request crocodile and when I saw your name I got super excited. I have such a weakness for him. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, love reading Star in the Sand btw.

Life after crocodile had been extremely hard to say the least. The once beautiful, lavish lifestyle you shared together came crumbling down than faster than you could have ever imagined. It was a living nightmare, to have him, the man you gave your whole heart to, the man who promised to never hurt you, toss you out of his life like you never meant anything at all. He was a cold-hearted man for what he did, but the way he couldn’t look you in your eyes while he told you never left your mind.

Sometimes you wished he’d gave you the same treatment he’d give his subordinates when he was through with them. That way you didn’t have to deal with the crumbling world around you. The only thing you were thankful for was that Crocodile always kept you out of the public eye. Funny how it’s what allowed you to leave Alabasta without too much trouble. You couldn’t imagine the what life would have been like if his enemies knew about your existence.  

Still life had been difficult, trying to find a new place to start over, to get further away from him. There was nothing left you could sell or trade with that wasn’t the clothes on your back. There was no money to buy necessities, so you stole and snuck your way onto ships when people began to figure out what happened. Still, no matter how bad things got, you could never bring yourself to sell or throw away his ring.

It was much too big to fit on your dainty fingers, so you kept it on a chain around your neck, tucked into your shirt so prying eyes could never see. It still hangs close to your heart. It brought you comfort when you needed it most. When you were hidden away on ships and thought you were seconds away from getting caught, you clutched the ring to your chest, or when you couldn’t sleep at night you’d find yourself absentmindedly playing with it, like you often did with his hand.

Nevertheless, you managed to find an island you could lay low at for a while. Finding a job wasn’t easy but you were desperate for work and got a job waitressing at some crappy bar. Just when things started to look up, a customer left a newspaper on the table you were cleaning. It was an old paper, from over a month ago.

It reported that the former warlord had escaped imprisonment from Impel Down. That he was dangerous and to take precautions and to report his location immediately to the authorities if spotted. This discovery left you feeling conflicted. At first you were angry, angry that he had escaped prison and is now free. Then you continued to read and learn about the war. There was a picture, it showed Crocodile. He had a few injuries, though they were minor, you couldn’t help the pang in brought. After everything you still felt something for him. That angry feeling starts to return again.

Throwing away the paper, you busy yourself cleaning tables and serving drinks when the door opens. Immediately the feeling of panic floods your system. Somehow you know exactly who’s at the door. Refusing to turn around as if not looking at him will somehow make him disappear, but it’s pointless when he sits a table and waits. You try ignoring him, but your boss pulls you aside by your arm and gives you a threat about firing you if you don’t take that table.

Biting your tongue, you walk over to Crocodile with what little courage you have. “What can I get you Sir” you ask in your best uninterested voice. Looking anywhere but his eyes, you notice the different bandages littered over him. “A few minutes of your time.”

“Not happening.” Tapping your foot impatiently, “You can order something or leave. I know your taste in liquor, you won’t find anything you like here, so I recommend leaving.” Turning around, you begin to walk away when he calls your name.

“Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” That tone of voice was something you’d never heard from him before. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking at him. Crocodile was exhausted. He was covered in dirt and grime, and the coat he adored so much was ripped in places, but most of all the look in his eyes told you everything.  

“No, no you don’t get to do this-.” He stands, still towering over anyone in the room. Immediately everyone looks over, waiting to see how this plays out. Crocodile pays them no mind.

“What I built was crumbling down around us. I did whatever I had to, to make sure you got out. To protect you.” A single tear starts to make its way down your check before you could wipe it away. Perhaps this wasn’t the best place to hash out feelings. Crocodile timidly reached out with his hand and when he felt no resistance, guided you out of the bar.

He walked you down to a space away from any bystanders and gave you time to collect yourself. “I wanted you to be able to move on, find someone better and start over. Someone that could give you everything you deserve.”

A laugh was the only response he received. The darkness casted a shadow over his features making it hard to read his expression. “Did you”  he clears his throat, “find someone.”

“Do I look like I’ve moved on.” Motioning to your surroundings. Kicking a pebble down the street. You pull out the necklace from the inside of your shirt. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to” your voice wavering. Crocodile reaches his hand out to wipe away your tears. “I trusted you. I gave you everything I had.”

Bringing you into his chest, he strokes your hair as you let out your emotions. Clutching onto his coat. ”I know you did. I’m sorry I hurt you, but please.” He swallows. “Know that my intentions were to truly protect you. There’s no way of knowing what the government would have done to you.” Leaning down, he places a kiss to your hair.

“I know it’s a long road ahead of us before you’ll trust me… If you’ll ever trust me again.” Holding you tighter against him, “I never stopped loving you.”

#sir crocodile x reader #crocodile x reader #crocodile one piece #one piece crocodile #One Piece headcanons #One Piece Fanfiction #one piece x reader