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#i hope y'all understand where i'm coming from
cuties-in-codices · 3 months
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mary & elizabeth
from a cycle of miniatures, possibly originally preceding a psalter, muri (?), first half of the 12th c.
source: Sarnen, Benediktinerkollegium, Cod. membr. 83, fol. 2r
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diedoverahat · 6 months
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can you write a smut fic with mike x reader where he eats you out?? thank you!!
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Eating In (It's good for you)
pairing: mike schmidt x afab!reader
summary: mike is a munch always why would i write anything else???
warnings: 18+!!! NSFW!!! MDI!!! oral sex (f!receving), fingering, squirting (kinda?)
word count: y'all already know 1.3k+
authors note: you guys really speak my language. the beginning of this got a lot fluffier than i was expecting lol still filthy though. 18+ content mdi!!! hope you love it anon mwah <333 also pretty sure i flipped flopped between perspectives sorry babies i'm dumb
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it's no secret that mike lives for eating you out. he could live between your thighs if it was up to him, spending hours drawing out those desperate noises from your lips when he does that thing with his tongue that you love.
the feeling of your hands tugging his hair and your thighs tightening around his head because you just feel so good make his eyes roll back in his head every time he thinks about it.
tonight was no exception, but it was a little different.
as soon as the two of you put abby to bed he was on you. pinning you to his bed as you lazily made out, grinding against each other in slow relaxed motions.
“baby,” mike breathes between kisses, “can you do me a favor?”
you hum in acknowledgement, not wanting to pull away from kissing mike enough to reply.
mike chuckles against your lips, breaking the kiss to nip teasingly at your lips. “i want you to ride my face.” he whispers dirtily, licking a stripe over your lips.
mike watched as his request sinks in, your eyes widening and mouth dropping open just a bit. “mike…” you whisper, he can hear the hesitation in your voice. he can’t have that.
“come on baby, please?” he pleads, moving his hands to rub soft circles into your hips. “you’ll love it, baby. i’ll make it so good for you.”
mike can see the moment your pupils completely dilate, fully swallowing your iris’. your chest heaving as your adrenaline kicks up.
after a beat, you nod slowly. your soft “okay” barely audible, mike grins like he just won the lottery.
“well hop on baby,” mike says, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “we don’t have all night.”
mike pulls away, falling on his back on the bed. laying his laced hands on his stomach, waiting patiently for you to give him what he wants.
he waits as you take a steadying breath, gathering up the courage before you rise up and start to shuffle over to him. mikes hungry eyes watch you swing your leg over his lap, making your way up his body.
you stop short, sitting on his stomach with a timid look. mike places two grounding hands on your hips, squeezing them reassuringly.
“you have to tell me if i’m smothering you or something. i don’t need to accidentally kill you.” your hands fidget with the waist of mikes pants nervously.
“what a way to go.” he says wistfully, a dopey grin on his face.
you let out a small laugh, trying and failing to hide your smile. “you’re such an asshole.” you reply, pinching his chest teasingly. your tone is too fond to hold any actual malice. mike laughs back.
finally, you start to shuffle higher up his torso, but he stops you holding your hips in place. “other way, baby.”
it doesn’t take a lot of brain power to understand what he means. you let out a soft moan, a shiver wracks your body. pleasure zings up your spine at how filthy this is.
it’s a little awkward, but you manage to swing your legs around so you're facing the rest of his bedroom, not just the wall. from this angle, you can see how his dick is tenting the front of his loose sleeping pants, a wet spot forming near the tip.
you still only hover over your boyfriend's face instead of truly sitting, scared of hurting him. mike decides not to say anything, too preoccupied with the view directly in-front of him.
“fuck,” mike whispers hotly, staring up at your clothed pussy makes his dick twitch. baby pink lace darkened by how wet you are. he leans up slightly, running his tongue over the rough lace still covering you.
"shit...mike," you shudder, legs trembling on either side of his head.
mike takes his time, laving his tongue over the soaked lace a few times, reveling in your familiar taste, but his patience wears thin. soon enough he's tugging your panties aside to get at what he really wants before returning them to your hips.
mike moans at the sight of your slick pussy, already so wet from his mouth. he can't help but softly run his pointer finger through your folds, gathering your wetness and using it to circle around your clit.
you moan softly, trying your best to be quiet so abby doesn't wake up.
mike stops his fingers assault on your clit, too eager to chase the sight of your convulsing pussy with his mouth, the tip of his tongue sliding easily through your folds. he groans, rubbing his face between your thighs, no doubt covering his nose and chin in the copious amount of wetness leaking from your pussy. he quickly gets lost in the feeling of tasting you, of licking and sucking at your clit making you moan and whine.
"shit!" you exclaim, pitching forward to steady yourself with your hands flat on his chest. the rough feel of his stubble scratching your inner thighs, most likely leaving red marks on the skin there. you hope it'll leave marks, that you'll be able to feel it every time you walk tomorrow, a reminder of what the two of you did tonight.
by now you're white knuckling the front of his shirt as you frantically circle your hips against his face, the bed squeaking quietly under your movements. mike spurs you on with small smacks to your ass, groaning into your pussy with every pass of his tongue over your fluttering hole.
you can feel the vibrations in mike's throat as he fucks you with his tongue, guttural groans making your thighs shake in an attempt to stay upright.
but it's just too much, the onslaught of his tongue making you forget all about your earlier insecurity, and you fully lower yourself onto his mouth too caught up in your pleasure to even hold yourself up anymore.
mike's eyes widen in surprise at you seating yourself on his face, moaning way too loudly at how hot it is to see you lose control.
"fuck! feels so good, mike," you slur, head hanging down to your chest, hair falling around your face. "mph- mike - ah, ah, ah,"
you realize you're going to come like this, riding mike's face like you're starved for it. you can feel it, the warmth settling deep in your belly. flames licking there way up your body.
mike realizes it too apparently, because he latches his mouth over your clit and plunges two fingers into your clenching pussy, thrusting them in and out quickly.
the lewd squelching noises that fill the room make your cheeks burn in embarrassment. 
“holy fucking shit! mike fuck!” you moan, trying desperately to control your volume. “i’m gonna come, oh fuck.” mike moans in respines, speeding up both his tongue and fingers.
the combination of mike’s tongue rapidly flicking over your clit and thick fingers expertly hitting your g-spot every thrust pushes you over the edge. one final suck to your clit has you coming all over mike’s face. drenching the lower part of his face in your juices and soaking up the dirty groans mike makes as he sucks up every last drop.
mike pulls away from you clit, and takes his fingers out of your pussy to let you come down from your orgasm. kissing across the inside of your thighs as you shake and tremble above him.
after a few shuddering breaths, you lift up and off mike’s face to collapse onto the mattress next to him. the two of you lay next to each other staring up at the ceiling, panting out wet breaths as you come down.
you turn to mike, his lips are slick and red. lower half of his face shining with your come, eyes half-open and hazy. you lift your hand to trial your finger down his body, making your way to the waist of his sleeping pants riding low on his hips showing off his dark happy trail. your hand slides lower to the ever still present hard-on tenting his pants obscenely, rubbing over his erect dick with purpose.
“your turn?”
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taglist!
@yuenity @ebodebo @mfdxz
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punkitt-is-here · 7 months
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LIFE UPDATE!!!! RAGHHH!!!
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Okay, so, as some of y'all know, I was fired from my job a couple of months ago. I reapplied, and unfortunately, despite getting an interview, I was turned down. Because of that, I'm going full-time as a self-employed artist. This means I'll be focusing on making fun stuff for my shop, learning better how to ship out items, and doubling down on doing more commissions.
As some of my wonderful commissioners know, I struggle a lot with deadlines and motivation. I have ADHD and even though I'm medicated, it still often gets in my way and kicks my ass often. It's part of why I have such a big struggle when doing commissions; they're hard to motivate myself to do and sometimes require a lot of communication back and forth that I'm just not the best at right now. I would like to say thanks to everyone that's put up with my inability to figure out a decent schedule for commission work, and hopefully everyone who's tried to get art from me will get their stuff very soon!
SO, uh, now that I don't really have a job, what's that mean? Well, I'm going to set a goal to actually make good on my promises for commissionwork. I tend to actually get a lot done in bursts, but they come and go, so I'm going to try and do weekly commissions but with much smaller slots. What I'll be doing is upping the frequency while also limiting the amount I get per-week so I can have a form of consistency with my output. That way, both parties are satisfied and I don't have to keep beating myself up for taking my time because I kept convincing myself I had a big-ass workload I couldn't chip away at.
Part of how I'll be doing this is acting like I still have a job. I'm gonna set aside work hours in the week to specifically work on commissions and shipping and interfacing with clients. I depend on the kindness and goodwill of my incredible followers, so the last thing I really want to do is tarnish that (at least any more than I have; apologies to everyone who's put up with me learning how to run a shop!). I think I'm at a point where I understand a lot of my limitations and abilities, and so I hope going forward I can begin to create a routine for myself and be able to make this something I can do far into the future! If you'd like to support me while I do this wacky lil thing, i've got a ko-fi and now a Patreon! (which I will link in my reblog since I heard Patreon links are weird here on tumblr.) I'm really excited to be launching a patreon. I can't guarantee any specific type of content, but the plan is just to show tiny little previews of stuff early if you're a supporter and stuff like this. I've never had anything of this kind, so I ask for your patience as I work stuff out, but if you feel like supporting me on either platform it'd mean the world to me. Thanks :)
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nervoushottee · 21 days
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With Want | Paul Atreides x Fem!Reader
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Summary: Paul Atreides always had dreams. But from the very beginning, there was an invisible string pulling him to you.
Warnings: (MDNI 18+) Reader's secret name is Nuri, Set in Dune Part 2 , fingering, soulmate/destined pairing, shitty understanding of the Dune universe (only watched the first Dune move and only half of Dune part 2 whoopsie so I'm probably butchering some of the lore or whatever. Its fanfiction babes, I'm not writing this for accuracy),
Note: Hey hottees!! Y'all I'm not even finish watching Dune 2 and I started writing this. Timothee was doing something to me in this movieeee. Hope y'all enjoy!
*not edited at all babes*
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Paul Atreides had dreams. Both enchanting and horrifying dreams that would eat away at his mind and soul. And from the very beginning, he had always felt this small pull of a feeling. 
It was weirder than his dreams because even when he woke, he still felt it. Like it was a small tether, a light string in his heart and soul that hummed so softly. A light that was so dim that you would have to squint to see. 
After everything that happened with his father and being forced out of his home. The Fremen people found him and his mother. And that feeling grew stronger. He thought it was about the sayings of what his mother, the Bene Gesserit, would tell him but it felt more than that. 
It was odd, he could never see what it was in his dreams, or hear whispers of it like a name. But it was always that same enchanting feeling. So when Paul followed the Fremens, it continued to grow. By the time they walked deeper into the caves, it went from a strong pull to an overwhelming presence. 
And that’s when he saw you. 
“Who is she?” Paul asks Chani. The young woman already knew who Paul was asking for before she turned her head. A small smile engulfs on her face. “Nuri.”
Nuri.
Paul repeats your name to understand the feeling on his tongue. He hadn’t seen you before. Or maybe he did, he wasn’t too sure. The Fremen people covered their faces from the desert and a lot from what he was learning.
‘She moves like the wind.’ Paul says to himself as he watches you glide through the crowded room. Paul’s eyes meet yours briefly. Yours blue from your sclera to your irises. You stop moving through the crowd to stare at him. 
That feeling buzzed around him, stronger than ever within Paul as his eyes never leaving  yours. Your lips slowly turn up into a smile. Your eyes move towards Chani who still stands next to him, nodding in acknowledgement. Chani repeats the same gesture with a smile on her face, your gaze lingers back on Paul before a group of people walk in front of Paul’s view of you. By the time the people separate. You were gone. And the feeling suddenly fades from a sharp intensity to a dull buzz. 
“You should be careful around her Outworlder.” Chani says to him in a low tone as the common area starts to get a bit busy with people. The two of them sit down on a blanket as other where for food. 
“Was she with the group when you found me and my mother?” Paul asks, dodging the statement his acquaintance gave him. 
Chani shakes her head, chewing her food before speaking, “No. She doesn’t come with us all the time.”That intrigued Paul. He turns himself fully towards Chani, his bowl of food mixed with spice long forgotten . “So is she not a fighter?” 
“She is.” Chani says between chews, ”But she also walks with the Sayyadina.”
The Sayyadina. The Fremen’s Reverend Mother. 
“From what I’ve been told, her family was killed just after she was born. Stilgar took it upon himself to look after her. As she grew, the Sayyadina felt something within her. So Stilgar gave them the authority to let her walk with them. She is truly a great fighter, so when we need good fighters she will come with us when necessary. If not, she stays.” Chani continues. 
“A fighter and one that walks with the Sayyadina? Is that possible?” Paul questions. 
“To a nonbeliever? No. But to those who do? Yes. Stilgar believes in the old ways and in the faith. The Lisan al Gaib.” She says to him in a taunting tone which causes Paul to avert his eyes. The moment they came in, some shouted hatred towards him and his mother but others screamed in rejoice, calling him The Lisan al Gaib.
“Our people follow behind him, he is a good leader and his judgment is almost always right and trustworthy.” Chani finishes. 
Paul sits with the information he tells her, his hands slowly dipping in his bowl to start eating the food that was cold to touch but warm against his tongue. The heat of the spice warms his insides as it goes down his throat. “And what about you? What do you believe?”
”I don’t believe that you’re the Lisan al Gaib, that's for sure.” She chuckles. Paul feels his cheeks flush in embarrassment but urges her to continue. “I believe in our people. And she is a part of our people. And if she plays some part in whatever faith stories then so be it. But she has never faltered in training. She has never failed in the dessert and she is a good friend. She believes in our people as much as I do.”
After the words Chani said, Paul felt that she was over talking about you, more hungry and interested in the spice beneath her fingers. So Paul didn’t ask anymore. He ate his food in silence but his mind was racing with the thoughts of you. 
—— —— —— ——
The day had turned into night. Stilgar showed him and his mother the small room for them to sleep in for the time being until their fate was decided. A lot of them didn’t trust him and his mother, and for that Paul understood. 
His dreams woke him in the late night. Lifting his head from the makeshift pillow, he looks over to his mother who is still sound asleep. Her hand was placed on her lower stomach. 
‘Rest easy sister, I will be back.’ He says in his head before getting up and quietly leaving the room.
The caves are quiet at night. Besides from the guards that linger within the open spaces to protect those who rest. Paul doesn’t think it’s necessary but he avoids walking around where they are. Just in case to not stir any trouble. The people were calm at the moment since their fates were going to be decided soon enough. 
He walks to the small body of water his mother had told him about. The scared waters of the Fremens. The waters they would never touch. He sat there for a while. Enjoying the stilllness in the air and the calm look of the water. It reminded him of home. “I miss you father. I will take care of mother and sister.” He says to himself quietly. 
He wants to cry but reminds himself to save his water. “Don’t waste your tears on the dead” from what Stilgar told his mother. 
Paul sat still for a moment longer before he felt that pull again. That invisible string strong and tight as it pulls him to his feet. He absentmindedly walks into a dimly let hallway, his pulse quickening against his neck. His heat beating erratically against his chest as he turns the corner to see you. “You’re Nuri.” Paul states.
“You shouldn’t be out at night Paul Atriedes.” You say to him, your back towards him but he can hear the teasing smile within your words.
“I couldn’t sleep.” Paul explains to you simply, “And I made sure to walk where the guards can not see me.” The feeling nearly suffocates him as he walks toward you. 
“Ah.” You turn towards him, you’re dressed in almost the same comfortable linens as him. His a tan brown color and yours an off white. “You and your dreams.”
How did you know about that? He questions in his head, unconsciously taking another step towards you. You both now at arms length.
“I see you in my dreams.” Paul lies. 
“Do you?” You ask back, your tone sounds as if you know he’s lying. 
“No but I can feel you. In my dreams and out. And I don’t know what it is or what it means.” He explains. 
You hum in satisfaction as you slowly walk around him. Like a beast or a predator trapping its prey. “And what do you feel now?” 
He feels like his body is vibrating, His skin tingling and his veins jumping. His fingers buzzing as if he wants to reach out and touch you. He does what to touch you, he wants to feel your skin on his. “What do you feel?” Paul asks the question back to you.
You stop walking to stand behind him. The hairs on his neck stick out as he feels your body heat near him. Your lips slowly grazing his ear making his eyes flutter close. 
What the hell is happening to him?
“I feel like the spice on my tongue. I feel like the sand beneath my feet. I feel like the beauty you see in your dreams. I can feel you.” You whisper against him. 
Paul turns around to you, your bodies closer than ever. His lips inches towards yours as his flickers between your eyes and your lips. 
“You speak in tongues.” Paul whispers to you desperately.
“Shall I tell you in a way you understand?” You whisper against his lips. 
“Yes please.” he begs softly. 
And you don’t hesitate to put your lips on his. Paul moving quickly as his hands clasp softly against your cheeks. Moaning in the delight as he feels your hands glide against his chest, gripping his shirt. 
He feels you everywhere, but it isn’t overwhelming anymore. Now that he’s holding you and tasting you, your tongue glides against his. He feels a wave of warmth wash over him as his body and soul settle into the feeling of you. 
So warm and inviting. So enticing and serene. 
You push him towards a dark hidden spot in the hallway. Your bodies are engulfed in darkness but when you break apart for air, you can see him all the same. Paul moves you toward the wall, his body trapping you in as he kisses your neck. 
“I’ve dreamt of you, Paul Atreides. I’ve seen you in my dreams, felt you lingering in my mind, heart and soul.” You say to him breathly. Moaning quietly as you feel his tongue glide against your neck. Your guide his hand to touch your breast, causing Paul to move away from your neck and look into your eyes. 
‘So beautiful.’ Paul thought. He brings his other hand on your cheek and kisses you hungrily. Squeezing your breast, feeling the weight of it in the palm of his hand.His hand glides to let your nipple slip in between his fingers as he squeezes.“I want to dream of you. I want to see you in my dreams, want to hear your voice call my name.” he mutters to you in between kisses.
When you break away from his kiss, Paul starts to ask what’s wrong until he feels your hand on his and glides it up to your lips. You kiss his fingers individually as he stares at you in adoration and desire. You slowly slip his middle and ring finger into your mouth causing Paul to groan. His hips shifting upwards against you as he feels the wetness of your warm tongue glide against his fingers. He watches as you pull his fingers out of your mouth, his digits glistening wet. Your hands glide his now wet ones down and underneath your linen pants.
“Touch me and you will see me.” 
He lets his hand glide against you as is greeted by your wetness, causing you both to moan out in pleasure. You are sinking deeper into the wall and Paul sinking deeper into you. His fingers continue to glide there experimentally as you pull him back for a kiss. “Help me see.” Paul mutters desperately against you
Your hands reach down in your lines to move his hand into the position you need for him to make you feel good. You mimic a small circular rotation with your fingers on the back of his hand that was still against you. Once Paul understands, he begins to move his fingers in the motion you instructed, making you moan against his lips. 
He pulls away to watch you. You looked more ethereal than any other being or spirit that was believed in all of Arrakis. Your head back against the mountain wall, your lips slightly open as you moan. Your hips moving against his fingers as if you’re chasing for pressure. Paul dips his head in the corner of your neck and kisses it feverishly as he applies more pressure in his movements. Causing you to hold on to shoulder and call out his name. Oh how he wanted you to say his name again.
Feeling a little confident he glides his fingers down, but keeps his them pressed against your swollen bud. He pushes his middle finger inside of you causing you to gasp. You hold onto his shoulder gripping his shirt as you breathe heavily. You drag his head from your neck to kiss him. With his finger going in and out of you at an agonizing slow pace, you kiss him sloppily. But Paul doesn’t seem to mind, he enjoys it. Humming against you with a smile. 
When you feel his ring finger follow in for a second is when you lose it. “Paul!” you say loudly. 
His tongue mingles with yours as he silences your cries. With the slow circling of his thumb against your clit and the way he pushes his fingers into you makes you clench against him. “Fuck.” he moans. 
You whine as you feel your orgasm growing inside of you. The feeling you both shared with one another makes you feel even more on edge as you grip Paul in anyway you can. You rapidly as you feel yourself getting close. “Pau-Paul -” you begin to tell him as such but the building pleasure doesn’t get you far. Paul places his other hand against your cheek, tilting your head to look up at him. His eyes hooded and his cheeks flushed. You feel his thumb brush against your bottom lip. 
“Let me see you.” 
His words are the final push that sends you over the edge. Paul kissing you to silence your cries, you mewling against his lips as his fingers never stop their learned rhythm. You shiver against his fingers, your body tingly and warm. He kisses your face from your cheeks, to your eyelids and everywhere in between as he waits for you to come down from your high. He whispers your name, making you flutter your eyes open to see Paul stare at you with want. 
“Show me again.”
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fuckyeahdindjarin · 1 month
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V ║Raw Edge
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Joel Miller x F!Reader
{ Part IV: Notch | Behind the Seams: Part V | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }
Rating: E, a proper E!
Summary: One lazy afternoon, Joel tests your patience.
Warnings: Sexual tension, some language, gratuitous descriptions of the male body, flirting, fingering, explicit grinding, shy!reader, reader has a nickname related to her job, soft!domestic!Joel, no use of Y/N
Word count: 2k
Notes: It's been a long and winding road y'all, but I'm finally back with an update on the main series. It is a short one, more of an interlude, but it will get us where we need to go for the next chapter. Thank you for your patience, I don't take you guys' understanding and love for granted for even a second. Releasing this during the Seams sleepover, more drabbles coming your way for the remaining month of March!
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Raw edge - the raw, raveling, and unfinished, cut edge of the fabric.
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It’s fitting that Joel is a patient man. He’s built for it, after all.
Those broad shoulders, the sturdy thighs, his sure hands - he’s steadfast as the mountains that loom over Jackson.
As the sun shifts over the ridges and valleys of the sierra through the seasons, bringing shadows into light, so does Jackson on Joel, and you learn that he’s many kinds of patient.
On lookout duty, even in the depths of winter, he becomes one with the stillness of the night, patiently watching over the safety of the town in the loneliest hours.
When townsfolk stop him on the high street for neighbourly chit chat, he obliges with polite patience, never rushing, but careful not to encourage conversation that is longer than necessary.
With Ellie, when she prattles on with a long-winded story from school, he listens with amused patience, letting her run her half-full mouth over dinner with half-hearted admonishment.
And with you - he is agonisingly patient with you, and yet, never in a way that leaves any doubt of his want for you.
You cannot be more grateful.
And in turn, you’re patient with him. As the green of summer softens with the tail end of the season, you pick up bits and pieces. You hear whispers of names. Tess. Bill. You glimpse ghosts of his past. Sarah. Frank.
You don’t expect him to, but you have the audacity to hope, that one day, if he finds it in him to let you in, you have shoulders to spare.
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When the heat fades and the brisk autumnal chill starts to linger in the morning mist, you start to find that you like it when he’s not patient.
Not necessarily for the lack of patience thereof, but the fact that it’s worn thin by something else.
The way heat bleeds into his eyes when Lucy holds you up after your shift ends, fingers twitching, as if the caveman in him wants to grab you and drag you home, where you have planned on dinner - and more.
When you’re two bodies tangled in your sheets, breath short as he kisses his way down your neck and nips the underside of your breasts, bra cups pushed up only halfway because you’re still too shy to take it off completely. You feel him shudder, nails digging into your skin, nostrils flaring like he’s holding back from ripping the scant fabric off of you.
And late one evening, when you ask him for it, in heated whispers and your lower lip caught in your teeth, he oh so patiently works his fingers inside your wet heat - 
One, then two; 
Slow, then fast; 
Tender, then frantic - 
Until he feels you clench tight around the crook of his fingers for the first time, watch you arch clean off the bed, he bares his teeth and lets out a primal growl at the cry of his name on your swollen lips.
You find the thrill in getting under Joel Miller’s skin.
As the fall deepens, and trees start to shed in golden surrender, you’re caught off guard when he turns the table on you.
You don’t see it coming, your desperation, that lazy afternoon. It’s just another Saturday when Ellie is on her shift at the Outfitter with Lucy, and Joel is spending those free hours with you.
You’re not sure what got him into the mood, but the man is relentlessly teasing that afternoon, almost bratty in the way he toys with you. His hands go everywhere while you’re cooking, squeezing the swell of your ass then going north to cup your breasts, and stopping off everywhere in between.
Tips of your ears burning, you smack the back of his hands - so big and mapped with veins - just so you can get drain the pasta. Joel chuckles and kisses the corner of your mouth. ‘I like it when you’re bossy, sweetheart.’
He insists on eating on the sofa, with you between his legs, and you can feel him already hard and straining through his jeans. Neither of you really make a real go at the rapidly cooling marinara, and the plates are quickly pushed to the side as them meal degenerates into a full-blown make out session.
Not yet ready to let him strip you bare or for him to disrobe him completely, clothes hang half unbuttoned and unzipped on you both. The part of your brain that still has enough blood to reason likes it though - the demure flashes of skin under creased fabric, blindly touching and feeling where you can’t see.
Your jeans are pushed halfway down your thighs, bra pushed down under your breasts, the elastic straps digging into your shoulders. His shirt is open down to the second last button, bare chest rubbing against your nipples, the contact making you whine. His belt hangs open and his jeans are unzipped, but before you can reach down, his fingers slide inside your panties, twisted and sticky, teasing your wet folds. 
‘Joel,’ you whimper as he pushes two thick fingers inside you to the knuckle, your pussy slickly opening around him. 
‘Does that feel good, sweetheart?’ he asks, mouthing at your collarbone.
‘More,’ you gasp.
‘I got two in you already -’
Your voice cracks in a sob, your nails digging into his back. ‘Joel, I want more. Please.’
He glances at the clock ticking away on the wall and hesitates. The rational part of him knows that he has to leave in less than twenty minutes to pick up Ellie. But feeling you leak onto his fingers, pushing your hips against him to get his fingers even deeper, his cock twitches painfully hard in his pants.
He breathes through his nose to steady himself. ‘Sweetheart, we don’t have time -‘
‘Joel!’ you whine, almost petulantly.
He stares down at you, eyes wide at your desperation. He’s never seen you like this before, and fuck, he wants to give it to you. Wants to give you what you want, what he wants. What he’s wanted for long fucking months, woken up hard and throbbing dreaming about. But he steels himself - no, not when he’s on the clock, he won’t rush it. He will give you what you deserve, and not an ounce less. 
So he kisses you, long and deep, and bargains with you. ‘Listen, sweetheart, we can’t right now - but if you want to, we can try something new.’
‘Ok,’ you reply without hesitation.
A sharp breath catches in your throat when he eases his fingers out of you, and he brings them up to his mouth to lick them clean, his brow furrowing at your taste, thick on his tongue. Then you watch, transfixed, as he pushes his unzipped jeans down with his boxers, kicking them off his ankles - and his hard cock springs free of its confines. 
It’s taken you many months to drum up the bravery to map his body with your touch, and you’ve mostly done so in the safety of darkness, your shyness holding you back. To see all of him, jutting hard and thick in the stark afternoon light, you don’t even hear yourself whimper at the sight.
Joel holds your gaze as he slowly wraps his fingers around the swollen length and strokes himself, lips parted, watching you watch him. ‘You trust me, sweetheart?’
‘Yes.’
‘Gonna make you feel good, ok?’
His words make you squirm beneath him. ‘Ok.’
Grabbing the base of his cock, Joel shifts, looming over you and pushing your thighs apart so they’re bent at the knees to accommodate him. Then with a delicate finger, he traces under the seat of your panties and pulls them to one side, baring your spread pussy to his eyes. 
Your jaw goes slack the same time Joel bites out a filthy fuck. You know this is the first time he’s laying eyes on you there - you’ve been demure about that, preferring to be nose-to-nose with him while he buries his fingers inside you. But now, watching his eyes go black, nostrils flaring, an inexplicable high goes to your head, and you feel yourself clench around nothing.
His eyes fly to yours, and your lips part. Did he see that?
Before you can find out, Joel moves, and you hold your breath when he bows his head right where your legs are splayed open. Distracted by the beautiful chisel of his nose from this angle, you would’ve jumped right off the couch if not for his hands holding you in place when he dribbles spit onto your clit.
You cry out wordlessly, not understanding the visceral reaction of your body to the unexpectedly lewd act.
‘You’re plenty wet for me sweetheart, but this will feel even better,’ he says, spitting again, lower this time, and you tremble at the unfamiliar sensation of the wetness trailing down your folds. 
Tracing a thumb over you, Joel makes a low noise of satisfaction in his chest when it glides over your lips, frictionless. Taking a hold of the base of his cock, he positions the underside of his length in the seam of your folds - and thrusts. 
‘Joel!’ you whimper as the full length of him glides over the lips of your spit-wet pussy, from entrance to clit. He braces himself over you, and you hang onto his impossibly broad shoulders as he carefully rolls his hips, again and again. Rubbing along you just so, making sure you feel all of him despite not being inside you - that will have to wait.
You can feel your panties getting wetter, sticking to your skin, and Joel jolts a gasp from you when he roughly tugs the fabric hard to the side, baring more of you to his drunken gaze, witnessing the mess he’s making of you.
‘Listen t’ you,’ he slurs through gritted teeth, the lewd, wet slide of skin filling his ears. ‘Gonna sound even sweeter when I make you mine, sweetheart.’
With a whine, you arch off the couch, as if chasing the possessiveness in his words. Joel finds a rhythm that has the swollen head of his cock grinding against your clit with every thrust, and above you, he smears open-mouthed kisses over the secret spots he’s patiently unearthed by trial and error, until you’re shaking all over. It’s just what you needed, what you wanted - the elusive more that you didn’t know how to articulate. More than his fingers, but not yet ready to take everything that he can give you.
‘You’re close,’ Joel says, a quiet confidence to his verdict that coaxes a whine out of you. Holding a thumb over his cock, it presses even harder against your clit. His hips quicken in pace, and you know he’s chasing his own release as much as yours. 
‘It’s ok sweetheart, you can let go, let me feel you cum for me, let me feel that pretty pussy -’
And then you’re gone. Any illusion of control over your body is just that, an illusion, when the bubble bursts. White hot pleasure burns through your bloodstream, tendrils of heat blooming and swelling from deep inside you, spilling out your fingertips twisted tightly into his graying curls. 
Over the rush of blood in your ears, you hear Joel stutter fuck, fuck, fuck! before warm cum gushes over you, pooling in your belly button, spilling down your pussy and streaking your thighs. 
Limbs heavy and eyelids drooping, it’s hard to care when the cum stains your panties or the couch below. Not when Joel wraps his arms around you, lips brushing the nape of your neck softly as he brackets you from behind. 
Clinging onto the last vestiges of consciousness, you murmur, ‘You have to pick up Ellie soon.’
He grunts. ‘The little punk can wait.’
You smile, struggling to feel apologetic that the teenager might be waiting a while as Joel’s breathing slows, whistling softly by your ear. 
In the quiet aftermath, his words echo in your head. 
When I make you mine. 
Little does he know, he doesn’t have to - you’re already his.
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Notes: Time has really flown by since the last main series update. I've gone through so many ups and downs since, and I really need to thank you guys for giving me the time to figure things out in terms of my writing and how this story will go!
As I mentioned in Behind the Seams: Part V, I have 2 more full length chapters planned for the main series. I don't know if there will be any more after that, but at the very least, I hope that I will be adding to the Seams universe through drabbles and oneshots. I wouldn't write off the possibility of more chapters to add to the main series if I find the inspiration.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter ❤️
1K notes · View notes
redbullgirly · 3 months
Note
Hi, how are you? I saw your requests are open so can you please write a social media au where charles leclerc is dating a singer similar to Taylor and Travis's relationship and just the internet reactions to it the rest is up to you, thank you 🫶🏻
sabrina carpenter as face claims if you're okay with it
HEART ON TOUR [CL16 smau]
Charles Leclerc x singer!reader
Masterlist
Summary: Everybody wants to attend Y/N's world tour and that clearly includes the Ferrari star driver, Charles Leclerc. Though when at a concert, he doesn't get the chance to speak with the famous singer and ask her out, and then gets asked about it in an interview, he isn't shy to admit what his intentions were. Maybe that'll bring Y/N's attention to him... and it definitely will bring the fan's attention. Soon enough, rumors about the couple dating start running around.
Warnings: I worked on this for like 8 hours straight so it's very much possible there are some mistakes or spelling errors I didn't even notice after all that time XD.
Author's Note: Here you go Anon, hope you'll like it! I used Sabrina Carpenter as face claim because let's be honest, she has great photos for this type of social media au and is a singer as well. I made this more like a story of how Y/N and Charles started dating and the fans reaction to that and also somehow tried to replicate Taylor's and Travis' way of meeting, some events and timelines, but to match it with Formula 1 world. Thanks for the request and enjoy! :)
yourusername posted on instagram
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liked by arianagrande, charles_leclerc, blakelively and 7,230,197 others
yourusername It's always great to be home, even if you're on a world tour!🇺🇸 Thank you LA for having me, singing in the rain with me and creating special atmosphere I'll remember my whole life!❤️‍🔥 And now Rio de Janeiro is waiting as the next stop of my Heart On Tour!✨🎤
view all 15,492 comments
user1 NO ONE looks that good in the rain except her
arianagrande perfect💋
liked by the author
user2 the concert was so good y'all don't understand now I can't live without knowing I'll see her sing again 😭💔
user3 MOTHER IS MOTHERING
user4 Real angel right here 🤍
taylorswift Nothing screams girl power more than you honey!❤️‍🔥
yourusername thx sm taylor!!! you're literally my biggest inspo ever, love youu 🥰
user5 I love how they're fighting for the most successful and profitable tour ever but still support each other!
user6 omg stop it this is so sweet🥹
user7 The tabloids that constantly try to pit them against each other should be embarrassed XD
user8 STOOOOP NOT MY TWO PARENTS INTERACTING!!!
user9 taylor swift & y/n y/l/n... the best celebrity duo ever😻
user10 ur literally the people‘s pop princess
charles_leclerc Great concert!😍
user11 ARIANA WHAT R U DOING HERE
user12 lol user11 the fact that Ariana herself is under this post as well 😭
user13 not charles trying to shoot his shot with your queen
user14 Why is my fav f1 driver randomly commenting under Y/N's post?!🤠
user15 waiiittt does this mean he's been at the concert???
user16 omg NO WAYYYY🫢
user17 guys I think he was trying to flirt w her and you kinda ruined it💀
liked by charles_leclerc
user17 what the hell-
user18 you left a whole country speechless💗
user19 More like the whole world!!!
spotify WOW 🤩
user20 I wanna be Y/N so baaad
victoriassecret If you ever retire from singing, come and be our angel!💘
user21 so who's here just to first handedly look at charle's sus comment? admit it🤨
user22 meeee
user23 I thought I'm the only one 😭
user24 well when you put it like that user21...
user25 I wish I could repost comments on ig 😃
user26 🫢🫢
user27 Yeah me too guys
user28 honestly i'm not even ashamed🤷‍♀️
user29 Models are lucky you��re not a model
user30 FR
user31 BRASIL IS WAITING FOR YOU 🇧🇷❤️
user32 i seriously dont get the hype she has 🖕
user33 Then go away lol
user34 I can sense the formula one side of twitter is going to eat this upppp
user35 It's so funny how the crazy fan girls can get hyped over one comment... like be fr yn is a world famous singer ofc charles knows about her and can be her fan 🙄
user36 yeah plus I think she said herself she knows him too and is f1 fan bc she watched it with her dad or smth
user37 OMG they're each other's fans?!🥺 Idgaf about being crazy fan girly if it means we'll get this romance story!!!
user38 UR STYLIST DESERVES A RAISE 'CAUSE DAAAMN😘
user39 maybe i'm broke now but this concert was worth the money
twitter
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interview with Charles
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instagram direct messages between Y/N and Charles
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charles_leclerc posted on instagram
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liked by pierregasly, arthur_leclerc, yourusername, shawnmendes and 2,590,231 others
charles_leclerc Good days off. ❤️
view all 4,385 comments
user1 no way a woman made it to his babygirl filter instagram feed😧
user2 it's not a woman anymore... it's THE woman
user3 Uhmm...who is that girl?? In the second picture??
user4 I have a feeling that it's Y/N Y/L/N 🤭
user4 No way oh my god?!
user5 calm down guys it isn't confirmed or anything😑
carlossainz55 You are giving everybody a headache mate
liked by the author and yourusername
user6 you tell him carlito!!!!!
user7 OMG look at who liked his comment😃
user8 WAKE UP NEW PHOTOS OF CHARLES DROPPED 🗣🗣
user9 ehm charlie honey... who is that???🧐
user10 Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/NNNN
user11 Manifesting in real life lmao
user12 whats hapeningggggg
user13 he isn't single anymore 💔💔
user14 but it's y/n ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
user15 I hope so 😔❤️‍🩹
user16 What a way to start my day
user17 i literally spat out my morning coffee
user18 this is such a random soft launch help😭
user19 You see, I know that blonde hair from somewhere... 😏
user20 DAMN
user21 sorry not sorry but that's clearly y/n in the third pic🤷‍♀️
user22 💯💯💯🥇🏆
scuderiaferrari Let's rock the next Grand Prix!❤️‍🔥
liked by the author
charles_leclerc ❤️‍🔥
user23 ADMIN TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW RN
user24 interesting choice of emoji that's associated with y/n and the heart on tour 🥸🥸
user23 SUS
user24 Hard smash
user25 i love that even while soft launching he can't let go of the aesthetic filter he uses for his whole ig💀
joris__trouche lol true
user25 ohhh hi joris😭
user26 Idk who she is and tbh idgaf 'cause she's hooot 🥵😩
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liked by charlec_leclerc, f1, emilia_clarke, pascale.leclerc.355 and 8,016,555 others
tagged: scuderiaferrari
yourusername cruising down the street in my red car, feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far. 💄🎸🏎
view all 19,120 comments
user1 i never knew i needed ferrari coded y/n to live till we got her 😩
yourusername me neither babes
user1 oh my god what does that meeaaannn???!!!
user2 pop princess is living the dream so happy for you and all of your success
scuderiaferrari Everybody is a Ferrari fan ❤️
yourusername ofc!!🫡
user3 Yes we are... just pls stop giving us depression
user4 ohhh the caption screams NEW SONG
user5 right?! it's giving ✨lyrics✨
user6 let's pray for a release soon
user7 🙏🙏🙏
charles_leclerc Red suits you ❤️
liked by the author
user8 omg
yourusername wonder why ❤️
user8 OMG
user9 i dont want to be delusional... but c'mmon they gotta be dating
user10 THIS FEEL LIKE A HISTORICAL MOMENT YALL🤭
user11 ...so we're not talking about how the gp ended (or started) for charles, right?🥲
user12 idk what you're talking about🥲
user13 formation lap? naaaah it didn't happen🥲
user14 um so like you’re actually perfect
spotify you are GLOWING 🤩
user15 mommy- sorry... mommy-sorry... MOTHER
lilymhe my girl crush strikes again
liked by the author
user16 she's just like us xd
user17 I can't blame you Lily😌
user18 PLS I'M BEGGING YOU TELL US IF UR DATING CHARLES OR NOT
user19 Yall think she's real?😍
user20 congrats on dating our babygirl driver y/n!
user20 (delulu is the solulu if you're wondering)
user21 Does Charles' mom in the likes mean something??🤔
user22 i bet he talks about y/n at home 😏
user23 you two are making me too obsessed with this couple that isn't even couple and their family relationships
user22 isn't couple YET!
user24 That's the thinking I like user22 😂
user25 ICONIC❤️‍🔥
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liked by maxverstappen1, sophiet, charles_leclerc, kellypiquet and 11,920,374 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername secret's out i guess... love u with my whole heart and i'll be forever glad you went to my concert!💝
speaking of music, he's also my muse y'all so be prepared for new album coming soon 😚
view all 20,199 comments
user1 AAGGHAHGDGADGASDHJGAD
user2 only acceptable reaction
user1 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M MORE EXCITED ABOUT THEM DATING OR Y/N MAKING NEW ALBUM TBH
user2 again, only acceptable reaction
charles_leclerc Proud of you mi amor!😘
liked by the author
yourusername and i'm proud of you too honey 🥹🫶
user3 they're so sweet I caaaaan't
user4 FINALLY!!!! big congrats to you both
arthur_leclerc How did he even get you to date him?😆
yourusername let's say your big bro can be charming when he wants to... 😌
arthur_leclerc Okay NO NEED for details😅
yourusername xdd
user5 MY ROMAN EMPIRE
user6 everybody's roman empire im afraid😍
user7 how can you both be so damn hot?!
carlossainz55 Does this mean free tickets? 😏
yourusername we'll se about that
landonorris pls y/n
danielricciardo hiiii y/n
alex_albon think of my gf y/n
yourusername okay okay you convinced me
maxverstappen1 I bet it was Alex's comment that convinced you
yourusername ...no need to expose me like that max emilian ☹️
user8 they're the IT couple
user9 Look at how cute Charlie looks in the 5th photo🥰
user10 OMG YEEES
user11 hey am I the only one who's instagram is glitching and not working???
user12 loool Y/N and Charles broke the internet😭
user13 Yeah and they took it too literally 'cause my ig is acting weird as well 💀
user15 look at my fav couple 😻
user16 I hope she'll bring him luck in the next f1 season
scuderiaferrari Everybody is an Y/N fan ❤️
liked by the author
charles_leclerc 🫡
user17 FACTS!!!
user18 mommy and daddy right there
user19 idgaf about her and Charles THE QUEEN IS WORKING ON MORE SONGS YEEEES
f1 Welcome to the family Y/N! 🫶
liked by the author and charles_leclerc
user20 she's the best wag ever 💕
user21 THE MOMENT I WAITED FOR IS HERE
user22 I'm looking at the third photo respectfully 🤭
user23 i love this soft side of Charles omg🥺
user24 righttt? he should post photos like this as well, its better than those professional ones on his profile
user25 Totally agree with this
user26 my jaw dropped but I'm happy about it
user27 idk but charles & y/n definitely won my heart
user28 😍😍
user29 NEW ALBUUUUM
user30 Y/N Y/L/N you'll be forever famous!❤️‍🔥
BONUS
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Enchanted Wheels by Y/N Y/L/N (lyrics):
Cruising down the street in my red car,
Feeling the wind whisper secrets, oh so far.
Monaco lights, they dance in the night,
As I search for a love that feels so right.
In this city so bright, I'm lost in the haze,
But I know deep inside, I'll find my soul's maze.
I'm chasing dreams, like chasing the moon,
In this journey, I'll find my love soon.
Enchanted wheels taking me away,
Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.
In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,
Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.
Driving through the streets, past midnight's hour,
Looking for heartbeats that give me the power.
In every stranger's eyes, I see fleeting sparks,
But I won't settle for less, only love from the heart.
Monaco's captivating, but love's the real deal,
I won't let go until my heart can finally heal.
The city's alive with endless possibilities,
Somewhere out here, there's a love meant for me.
Enchanted wheels taking me away,
Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.
In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,
Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.
I've been searching high and low,
Through the crowds, I hope you'll show.
I believe in fate, destiny's plan,
Perhaps you're just one turn away, my soul's lifeline.
Enchanted wheels taking me away,
Through the starlit skies, where love will stay.
In the magic of Monaco, my heart takes flight,
Hoping destiny guides me to my soulmate tonight.
With every passing mile, my hope grows stronger,
In this journey for love, I won't wait any longer.
Enchanted wheels, lead me to my greatest win,
In Monaco, I'll find my soulmate, love from within.
THE END
Author's Note: Wow, this took m longer than expected (and the worst part was finding that one picture that somehow matches Charles' instagram filter), but I'm really satisfied with the result. Hope you liked this social media au and once again, I'll be grateful for likes, comments, reblogs, follows and every other way of showing your support. Also a little disclaimer: I didn't write the whole song, just a part of it and then helped myself with AI because I'm not really good in songwriting. Though I'm still curious if you liked the bonus, so let me know. Good night! :)
681 notes · View notes
pagodazz · 2 months
Text
Emh fans when they're asked to stop sexualizing Evan Jennings and his characters because it makes him and his wife uncomfortable:
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hope y'all are so happy with yourself for going against his wishes and being fucking freaks to him. You're all why he's barely online anymore. you cannot behave and you cannot be normal and you all have ruined what could be a very fun fandom.
Everyone in this fandom sees Evan as a piece of meat basically, you all only care about his character because Evan is a good looking guy. I mean!! let's be real here!!! let me quiz you on the lore!!! let me see just how fucking much you know about ALL the characters. let me see how much you ACTUALLY give a shit. Because all any of you do is post about how attractive you find Evan/habit and it's honestly so annoying.
I'm not saying you can't compliment him??? or appreciate his looks?? but drawing him in sexually compromising positions, writing in great detail about what you want him to do to you (PUBLICLY. no one gives a SHIT what you fucking do in private.) Or you're fucking mixing up habit and Evan, and just acting like you know his story when CLEARLY the most of you have watched habit compilations on YouTube and NOTHING else.
You cannot even convince me otherwise because I deal with people coming in my comments all the time asking about BASIC INFORMATION. like IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE PRINCETON TAPES ????? WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK????? YOU NEED THAT FOR THE SERIES. YOU CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HALF THE THINGS WITHOUT IT???????
This isn't saying you can't write fanfiction or shit like that this is JUST SAYING BE RESPECTFUL?????? these slenderverse actors ARE NOT A LIST CELEBRITIES. they're not like fucking Oscar Isaac or whoever people are obsessed with right now. THEY'RE NOT FAMOUS. THIS IS NICHE. THIS IS NOT POPULAR MEDIA 😭😭😭😭
Emh literally made NO money from their series, they didn't create it to gain anything like that. they created something fun and NOW YOU ALL ARE THE REASON THEY HAVE NO PART IN THIS FANDOM ANYMORE.
you robbed them of being able to love their creation and I hope you're all happy about that honestly because it seems like this fandom is only gonna get worse in this area. and I'm deeply disappointed.
edit: I would like to add one thing, Vincent caffarello had to deal with situations of extreme sexualization as well, and his got to the point to where he had to leave. Vinnie used to be very involved with the fandom, he even used to read fanfic which he had to stop doing because people would be writing characters to SEXUALLY ASSAULT HIM or others and he just couldn't continue to read things like that. He delt with minors sending him explicit photos and messages and that's literally all kinds of FUCKED UP. He did NOT want to be involved with that stuff.
It's like when Evan had someone impersonate him to try to get with minors. THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT OBJECTS FOR YOU TO SEEK OUT PLEASURE WITH. THEY ARE PEOPLE.
they are HUMAN.
if they were women?? would you be doing this as much??? or would you realize how messed up it really is.
414 notes · View notes
im-poe-dameron · 9 months
Text
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─── BREATHE ME IN
a/n: so um...i have no idea what this is. i started this when the kenobi series was coming out and sort of dropped it after a month. but here i am, finally finishing it and making it longer than it was supposed to be. did we really expect me not to find darth vader hot? i think he's where my whole loving a masked character came from. honestly this is basically filth with me trying to shove plot in not so subtly. so i hope y'all enjoy!
summary: the jedi fell and darth vader rose to power, but there's a secret he hides even from his own master.
word count: 5.5k+ (because i'm insane)
pairing: darth vader x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, cussing, angst, tenderness which is shocking, thigh riding, choking (obviously), oral (male receiving), a tad bit of face fucking, dom/sub dynamics, rough p in v sex, overstimulation, more hints of anakin than vader.
You’ll never be able to forget the scent of him after that night one month ago. It was branded in your mind, forever a part of you as he bent you to his will—made you his without even saying a single word. You should have fought him on it; made him see that you weren’t ready to relinquish the power you once held, but you knew the man beneath the mask he wore. You had known Anakin before he became this, before he twisted himself up inside and gave into being Darth Vader.
Even now as you stood in your small home on a planet far away from the Empire’s touch, you could feel his control over you. Long before the order was given and Jedi were slaughtered, you had been one of them. A knight who fought alongside Anakin in the Clone Wars—a warrior who chose the side of good rather than evil.
Then things fell apart. You were told that the man you loved, the person you cherished the most, gave into the dark side.
He became a stranger once more.
But nobody runs from Anakin for long—especially when he’s become a force more powerful than any Jedi could ever hope to be. You were hiding out on Devaron when he found you, attempting first to turn you to the dark side with him. Only for you to see something break in his exterior, his walls dropping for a split second and you felt it like a punch to the chest. He needed you.
This absolute desire was not born out of lust but pure necessity, because even as Darth Vader…Anakin Skywalker still lived beneath the mask and he didn’t know how to live without you. You’d always been the person he turned to when Obi-Wan wouldn’t understand the nature of his feelings. When he could no longer control them himself.
So, he left you there—allowing you to remain a Jedi who chose the light side of the Force over him. But he would return again and again. Desperate for someone to put his strained mind at ease—the memories of his past haunting him with every waking day. Perhaps that's where the submission started. In helping him by allowing him into your bed, into your heart little by little each time until eventually…you yearned for him to.
Jedi weren’t allowed to have such strong attachments, but as a Sith…he could keep you as his for as long as possible. A deal you wholeheartedly agreed to with a single word.
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The stars were starting to shine brightly in the night sky as you traversed the dense forest of Devaron, your lightsaber clipped to your side and hood drawn up over your head. You heard his ship land ten minutes ago; knew he now stood in the center of your home awaiting your arrival. So, you took your time. Anakin never liked to wait, Darth Vader was no different, and somehow that brought a smile to your face. So desperate to see you that he would battle his way through the forest alone to find you again.
He would come after you—you knew he would—and that brought back the pool of heat that always found its way to your body when he arrived.
There was something twisted about loving him even the way he was now. How could you, a Jedi Knight of your ability, love something so dark? How could you give into the sinister deliciousness of that side, yet still remain so true to the light side of the Force? The answer was simpler than you thought. In your mind he still remained as Anakin the man you loved and even though you knew what he did, what he now became, you couldn’t let go of your heart fully.
Even if the scars now showed as small canyons and ridges, each one holding a darkness that would ultimately cause your demise.
He knew this.
Nobody loved Darth Vader, nobody gave themselves to the most powerful Sith in the galaxy, without understanding they would die because of it one day. Perhaps that’s what caused the absolute ache in your bones at the mere sight of him. The thought of one day no longer being by his side. Some Jedi may claim you were betraying what you believed in—destroying yourself just for an inkling of mind numbing pleasure—but it was more than that. Pleasure ultimately gave way to the pain of loving someone beyond saving.
As expected you arrived at your small house to the sight of a black ship—big enough for one—in the clearing that was solely used by him. The darkness bled through the Force, encasing you in a biting cold as you walked towards the already open door. One might say the sight of him standing amidst your tiny living room was terrifying enough to run away. But you were never one to cower in fear from him and you refused to start now.
His head tilted, energy stretching out towards you through the old connection you used to have with him, and with a small smile you reached back. Twining your brilliant blue around his obsidian nature until you saw him shudder beneath his cloak.
“You’re late,” he said—his voice something you had to continue to get used to.
Humming, you dropped your robe onto the chair behind him, heading towards your small makeshift kitchen where you knew there’d be some bread from the day before. He turned, watching you move as you continued to press your Force signature against his own—reminding him of a time when he too held a blue lightsaber brighter than yours. This was a two way street. You savored the bitter sweetness of the dark side, relishing in the rush of power that flowed through your veins, and he once again fell back into what he used to know. The calming serenity of the light side.
“You’re early,” you teased, knowing his temper was far worse than before. However he always seemed to control it around you—the tight grip he had on his anger evident in the way his fist clenched.
“Where did you go?” He demanded more than asked nowadays and so you stayed silent, awaiting for the flare of anger to shove its way into your mind.
It never came though. The silence almost shocked you as you turned, eating the remainder of the bread. But that’s what he wanted out of you—a reaction that would show you actually acknowledge his presence. How could you not? When he stood there looking like the true embodiment of the dark side of the Force. Although there were times when you missed the sight of Anakin standing before you—a smile on his face that always reached his blue eyes.
“Exploring,” you said, eyes flickering down the length of him—taking in the sight of his rigid stance. “How long are you here for?”
“Tonight.”
His answers were blunt, to the point, because he didn’t have time to dawdle. You were his secret, you knew this. If anyone found out you’d be killed and knowing who Darth Vader answered to…he’d be forced to do it himself. So, you nodded and finished the remainder of your bread as you continued to watch him—prodding at the wall of his mind to hopefully see within. But they remained up, blocking you from anything other than his Force signature which remained tightly entwined with your own.
“How long will you be gone for?”
He paused, pressing against the walls of your mind to see what exactly you were thinking, but you knew he didn’t wish to forcefully tear them down. You were not a person he was interrogating—rather a lover who he may very well lose if he didn’t act accordingly. His fist clenched again, the struggle to remain in complete control now wavering as you stalled for time. He knew what you were doing and yet he still played along.
“I don’t know.”
You hummed, once more pressing against the wall in his mind. It was dangerous to be let inside—having seen what he harbored behind the thick barrier—but your curiosity always wished to drag you into trouble.
What was safety compared to intimately knowing the most lethal person in existence? To you there would be nothing more intriguing, nothing more worth the risk than this simple gesture.
“Don’t,” he spit out, stepping closer until your lower back was digging into the counter.
“You let me in once before—”
His gloved hand landed on your throat, silencing your words and causing a shudder to run down your spine. Though the position wasn’t unfamiliar, it still brought a small inkling of fear to peek its head out. He could kill you—without remorse. Yet he never did. He simply remained, holding your throat as tenderly as he possibly could—relearning what the meaning of gentle was. That thought alone brought a dazed smile to your face, your eyes nearly fluttering closed as his thumb ran along the column of your neck.
“That is no longer a luxury you are allowed to have.”
The words were sinister on his tongue, like a sharp knife to your heart, but you’d been scarred by him before. “Is it because I know what I’ll find? Or are you afraid?”
His control finally snapped, the pressure on your throat now crushing you until you struggled for air. But he didn’t squeeze harder, he didn’t make sure that you were unable to breathe completely, because he couldn’t cross that line. He refused to. You were the only light he let slip through the cracks of his helmet; the one thing keeping him stable on the ground and while it wasn’t very Darth Vader of him to keep you—it was the part of Anakin that still remained that held onto you tightly.
“You know nothing.”
Despite the lack of oxygen, you smiled. “I know you.”
The words came out choked and broken, but it was enough. He froze, his hand loosening around your throat as the final realization clicked into place just like it always did when he found his way back to you.
You knew him—knew Anakin that lay beneath the surface and Vader that rose to power crushing him in the end. You knew all the ugly bits that showed through the evident splinters of his being and in spite of all of that…you still loved him. Whenever he left you he seemed to forget that when he came here he didn’t have to wear a shroud of anger that resembled his cape. He didn’t have to wean himself from the light side with every bittersweet touch, because you held no expectations of him.
“Anakin,” you breathed, hand sliding along his leather covered limb. “Come home.”
Little by little you saw his walls come down, felt the darkness seep into his Force signature until you were surrounded by it. Until the only light left between the two of you was yours—guiding him back to you for a brief moment. He’d only be here tonight, so you’d have tonight.
You would take as much time as you were allowed if it meant seeing Anakin for a brief moment again.
“Anakin is dead,” he muttered, hand shifting until his thumb was pressing against your bottom lip. “I killed him.”
Parting your lips you allowed him to invade your senses even further—the taste of the leather permeated your mouth, driving a moan from your throat. Digging your nails into his arm, you felt him push against you—forcing his way into your mind and showing you images of a past that felt like yesterday. Anakin’s face flashed before you, the smile you ached to see again finally coming back to you, and it drew a whimper to the surface. A sound he liked if the pressure on your tongue was enough to go by.
The scene shifted and you felt the heat flare to life in your stomach as you saw yourself beneath him, sobbing his name as he practically shoved you into all encompassing bliss. Memories he still held onto—torturing himself because he could no longer have you in the way he wanted. But above all that, one stuck to the forefront of your mind. The taste of him as he kissed you; devoured everything you were and felt greedy enough to take even more.
The first hints of the dark side within him.
“Maker,” you gasped as he ripped his hand away, reaching for the ties of your robes. “I miss it too.”
Gathering enough of your energy you used the Force to shove him backwards until he stumbled into the wall behind him—his large frame taking up too much space. To anyone else it would have felt suffocating, but to you…this was as safe as you were ever going to get. He ached to have his old self back not to be a Jedi again. No, he thrived in the sinister ways of the Sith. He wanted to be Anakin, to have you again by his side—to kiss you like he used to on nights where things became too heavy a burden to carry alone.
Somehow in the midst of you pushing him back and him resisting you ended up pinned to the wall of your bedroom by him. He didn’t even have to touch you to make you beg for more; for you to do anything he wanted. This is what bending to his will became and he loved it.
He stood inches away, the tips of his boots touching yours and so like a fool you let your walls down without any warning. Shoving every memory and burning need his way until he was gasping through the modulator—his hand slamming against the wall beside your head. Each moment you were with him, each touch and night neither of you slept—too busy finding what made the other tick—it all poured into his mind. You made him see what you saw whenever you were near him even with the mask.
The cold feeling of his mask pressed against your cheek as he tried to push himself closer. This is all it would amount to. Nights spent in secret when really the both of you ached for one last thing. Something you never got.
A farewell kiss.
“Anakin,” you said softly, hand sliding to his shoulder. “Are you home?”
He let out a breath, the sound distorted through the modulator before finally breaking down the last of his walls. “Yes.”
You didn’t know how long tonight would truly last and so you began to clutch at his arm, feeling a hot press of his gloved hand dig into your thigh as he raised it to his hip. A natural movement he’d done a hundred times over. That was enough to make you smile, a small bit of laughter echoing off the walls of your tiny room. Although darkness still clung to him, still twisted tightly around your Force energy, he remained the man you loved.
Both Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader alike.
“Tell me,” he groaned, shoving his knee up gently and fitting it right at the seam of your pants.
It almost didn’t feel fair how he knew your body so well—how he knew which way to move you to finally hear that familiar moan tumble past your lips.  Grinding your hips down, your head fell back against the wall when pressure was finally applied to your throbbing clit, sending sparks down your spine. You knew he watched every emotion, expression, and heard every sound behind that helmet and somehow…that made it even more electric.
“Tell me,” he demanded, hand going back to your throat and keeping you in place as his other one guided your hips along his thigh.
Fuck, you were still clothed and felt like you would fall apart at any moment.
“I—” Moaning, your hands scrambled for purchase along his chest. “I love you.”
Placing pressure on your throat he shoved pressed his thigh upwards, watching your eyes flutter shut, a high-pitched gasp escaping you as you finally broke. Light flooded his senses, nearly breaking his stance, but the sight of you writhing in his grasp—whimpers falling from your lips was too addicting for him to let go of. They say that the dark side made one greedy; desperate for whatever they wanted, and in this moment he was prepared to take and take until you had nothing left to give.
He knew you’d let him. You would give him whatever he asked for.
“Anaki—” He cut you off, dragging you along his thigh again and watching as your face twisted. Both pain and pleasure collided as you were shoved into overstimulation.
“Again,” he said, moving his hand from your hip to your pants—helping you yank them off until the leather of his glove slid through your hot slick. “I want to see you do it again.”
“Oh fuck.”
Gasping for air, you dug your teeth into your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as he ruthlessly began to toy with your clit. He knew exactly what to do to shove you right on that edge again and perhaps that’s what flung you over it. Or maybe it was him shoving the same words back into your own mind until it echoed over and over again.
I love you.
Sith didn’t care about things like love, but Anakin Skywalker was never truly a Sith just as he was never truly a Jedi.
He was stuck in between—crossing the border of want and need.
“I can’t.” A cry ripped from you as his other hand moved down from your neck to your chest, rubbing a thumb over your nipple. “I—Anakin I can’t.”
He chuckled, the sound menacing even to you. “Yes you can.”
This wasn’t a question—it was a choice of when you’d finally give in. The pressure in your body built, the coil twisting as he continued to rub sharp circles on your clit. When your legs began to shake and your vision became blurry from tears, you knew you were right there on the very edge of shattering, but you couldn’t. Not until he joined you on that edge—relenting his power to give you some of your own.
“Say it,” you begged, eyes screwing shut as he sunk two fingers into you right to the knuckle—his thumb continuing. “Say it for me. Please I need—I need to—”
“I love you.”
The words sounded foreign coming from his modulator, but you knew this was Anakin speaking not the twisted side of him that fed off of pain. He’d finally ripped free from the cage he was put in, leeching off the light coming from you with glee. He may not have meant the words entirely, but they did what you both intended them to do.
Sobbing his name, you felt the pressure snap in two flooding your body with a white-hot pleasure. You could hear his fingers as they continued to pump into you, rubbing against the spot along your walls that made your legs shake and tears flow down your cheeks.
“That’s it,” he muttered, hand going around your neck to hold you in place as you practically grinded on his hand—the pleasure still coursing through your veins.
You were lost to it. Mind numb to everything else but him standing before you.
It took you a few minutes to catch your breath and gain feeling in your limbs again and he waited. Gave you a chance to breathe as he fought against the impatience that trickled into his veins—a quality that was unnatural to him. Once you were finally able to open your eyes, sighing in contentment, you focused on his mind—allowing yourself a chance to see inside of it. As always it was inner turmoil that had you flinching, but right now all you saw were memories of you and him. The same ones he played over and over again while he was away from you.
“And here I thought you never missed me while you were away,” you said, lips curving into a smile sweet enough to taste.
“I don’t miss you.” He leaned closer, hand reaching down to cup your swollen cunt. “I miss this.”
Words like that should have stung, but you knew him better than that. You knew why he said the things he said. So you smiled wider, dragging his arm up until his hand was in front of your face, the black leather shiny with your cum. Twining your Force signature around him until he couldn’t escape, you sucked his fingers into your mouth, moaning at the taste of yourself. He didn’t expect you to give in so easily—usually enjoying the fight you put him through. But tonight you’d settle for this so you could gain more.
“We’ll see about that,” you whispered, kissing his palm and dropping his arm.
You wanted him to give over the control he ached for; wanted to watch as the last of his residual armor came crashing down around you. Only one person would be able to say they brought Darth Vader down to their knees and it was you. His light, his moon, his lover.
Pushing his leg away, you pressed your hands on his chest, wishing you could once again feel the strong heartbeat beneath his skin. The steady thrum of it put you to sleep on long nights when you snuck away from the Jedi Temple, but for now you’d have to settle for the rhythmic timing of his breaths as they echoed around the room.
Without another thought, you dropped to your knees in front of him—his body keeping you caged in along the wall. You figured he already knew what you were going to do, if the way he widened his stance told you anything. His hand cupped the back of your neck, tilting your gaze back towards him. It was the gentle nature of his touch that sent heat spilling into your heart. Anakin flared to life right before your eyes with every passing minute.
Undoing his belt, you allowed yourself a moment to admire what lay beneath the leather. What he always drew your attention away from. The skin was burnt, scarred beyond anything you’d ever seen before, but that never mattered to you. He stood stiff, his other hand pressed against the wall, helmet focused on you. Almost like he was unsure of what would happen.
Would you not care? Or would what remained not be what you wanted?
“Oh…” you gasped when he was finally free.
He was scarred there too, you’d felt it before. Except you weren’t shocked by that; no you were surprised by how worked up he was. The glossy sheen of precum building up at the tip practically dripped down your palm as you held him—begging for you to taste. Leaning forward, you took the head of his cock into your mouth, the guttural moan he let out sending a flare of heat through your body.
“Is this for me?” you asked sweetly, knowing it would only succeed in riling him up even more.
He grunted, his hand pushing you forward until his cock was once more back in your mouth. Although you didn’t mind in the slightest. Not when his addicting salty tang spread on your tongue the longer you sucked on the head. He was shameless with the sounds he made. Entirely focused on his pleasure, but you felt the way he softly rubbed his thumb along your neck, sending goosebumps down your skin.
“Take me deeper,” he said, already knowing you were heading that way anyways. “I know you can.”
You moaned when he hit the back of your throat, his hips thrusting forward slightly until you gagged. That alone only made him do it again. Pressing against the firm line that stood between the both of you. He wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want—as long as you gave him control. Something you were more than okay with handing over.
It’s not like you had any semblance of it before he became Darth Vader. Anakin had always been one to take what he deemed he deserved. Except when it came to you, he always gave you the choice. Even now as your nose brushed the base of his cock, your throat squeezing him so tight his whole body shuddered, you still held the choice.
You sucked in a breath when he pulled away, tears streaming down your cheeks and spit covering your chin. Part of you wanted to keep going—to feel him spill down your throat—but you knew that wasn’t what he was here for. Dragging you up, he pressed the cold shell of his helmet against your forehead, hands grasping your hips tightly.
“I need—” He cut himself off, a loud breath reverberating through his modulator. 
For the first time that night you felt it. The small flicker of blue in his otherwise black Force signature. Only in moments like this, when his desperation practically permeated the air, did you find your Anakin.
The only thing stronger than Palpatine’s hold over him had always been the love he felt for you—that was clear to you now.
“I know,” you murmured, leading him back and watching as he sat on your bed. His large frame practically took up the entire room. He spread his legs, allowing you to step between them, but you had a different plan altogether.
Clambering onto his lap, you held yourself up as you positioned his cock at your entrance. Your slick practically pooled over him, making it easier for you to take him in one thrust. But rather than rush this, you held yourself there. Hovering over his needy and wanting cock—making him wait for the one thing he so desperately needed. The blue flickered again, vibrating through you and forcing a gasp from your lungs.
You longed to pull it closer until it enveloped you entirely; til you suffocated from its light. But whatever remained was now small and fleeting, only seen in moments like this. His grasp turned harsh, impatient. Letting you know that he only had so much left in him before he took back the small sliver of control he allotted you.
Your whole body shook as you finally lowered yourself, feeling the stretch of his cock sliding into your cunt. A growl ripped from his chest, his hands pressing you down further and watching in delight as your head fell back, a garbled shout echoing off the walls. You went dizzy with the delicious mixture of pain and pleasure. It rushed through you, setting each nerve in your body alight with a burning fire.
Which only made everything shine brighter.
Light flooded his senses, your Force signature practically bleeding out into the room. And he took it. He swallowed it whole in his never ending darkness with the hope that you were never extinguished.
“More,” you gasped, fingers digging into the leather that covered his shoulder.
He shoved his hips upward, grinding against you and tearing a sound from your chest that seared into his mind instantly. You were a wanton mess. Barely hanging on to the person you were thirty minutes ago—before he came back into your life. Instead there you were. The lover who fed off of his darkness; who took what the Jedi Order claimed was forbidden and begged for more.
“Maker—fuck—I-I’m oh fuck—” You made no sense, but that’s the way he wanted you. An incoherent babbling mess that rode his cock to chase that feeling only he could bring you.
Lifting yourself up slightly, you dropped back down haphazardly, hating the emptiness that came with his cock slipping out of you. A sound tore through his modulator, his hands tightening on your hips as you set a brutal pace. He groaned when your walls tightened around him, the sound of your skin slapping against the leather of his pants echoing in the room. If you listened closely you could hear the wet squelch of your slick as he set his own pace, pounding into you without abandon.
“Please, Anakin please,” you cried, unsure of what you were begging for.
He seemed to know though.
Without a response, his hand wrapped around your throat, pressing down tightly as he thrusted upwards even harder. The lack of oxygen seemed to only heighten the sensation you chased—pleasure building up to an almost painful degree in your body.
He bent you to his will, guiding your body in a way that felt familiar. You didn’t have to think when he was here, didn't need to focus your energy on any of this, because he did it for you. His gloved thumb pressed against your lips until you opened up with ease, sucking his finger into your mouth with a moan. It gave you a chance to take in a deep breath before he clamped down tight around your throat again. Turning your vision hazy.
“Good,” he muttered, pulling the spit slicked finger from your mouth. Only to press it firmly against your clit.
Your body arched, a broken cry falling from your lips as tears streamed down your face. It was too much, yet you couldn’t find it in yourself to ask him to stop. You didn’t want him to. The pleasure nearly blinded you with each thrust of his cock into your dripping cunt. But what made you fall wasn’t the feeling of him finally striking against the spot that made your body curl in on itself.
No, it was the image he projected in your mind.
“That’s what you like huh,” Anakin’s voice grunted in your head, his blue eyes just as bright as before.
You sobbed out a garbled yes, eyes rolling back. The image continued. A bright blue light wrapped itself around you, nearly burning you from the inside out as he pinched your clit between his fingers. And you chased it; grabbed onto the sensation tightly and let it fill your chest until you swore your heart stopped beating.
“I want you to cum. Let me see my pussy drip for me,” he spit, dragging you closer until you were pressed so tight it nearly hurt.
“Don’t,” you gasped, shoving the image of Anakin away from your mind, eyes focusing on the empty soulless black mask he wore. His hand let up slightly, allowing you breath to speak. “I want to see you. Not him.”
Warmth spread through your chest when his hips stuttered, a groan reverberating against your breast. You wished you could kiss him. Feel the hot press of his lips on yours, but this—feeling him thrust into you quickly—was enough. His hand tightened again as his cock drove up into you harshly, hitting right where you needed to fly off the edge. Your mouth fell open, a broken sob making its way through as the all encompassing heat you so desired began to spill through your body.
A snarl ripped through your very being when he finally joined you, spurting into your swollen cunt and filling you until you leaked around the base of him. Except he didn’t stop. He pushed forward, thrusting into you until pain filtered through the pleasure. Once more you were shoved into that bliss, drowning in it with no way out.
Sobbing his name, you felt your body shake as he finally ceased his movements, allowing you to sag against him. The energy was completely depleted from you and he knew it. Which is why he didn’t move. Simply breathed deeply, his softening cock still deep in you, causing you to moan slightly at every soft twitch.
“How long until you have to go?” you sighed, your fingers tracing random shapes against his armor.
“Soon.”
“Will you come back?”
You knew you wouldn’t receive an answer. You never did, because even he didn’t know when Palpatine would finally release him again from his grasp. He let out a breath, his hands cupping your ass as he molded you to him. The blue light still flickered amidst the darkness, turning his once bleak Force signature a brilliant midnight color. And for a moment you saw the real him. The man who lay beyond the layers of his armor.
Laying a kiss against the cold shell of his mask, you allowed yourself a moment to be enveloped by him. The darkness would return eventually, wiping away the man who sat beneath you. But for now, he was here and he was yours.
Smiling, you pressed against it with your own, feeling him shudder beneath you. It was like looking at the night sky—a sight you wanted to keep until you were left alone once more. Curling around his body, you allowed sleep to finally overtake you, your mind soothed by the soft touch of the Force he pressed against you.
Only then did you realize.
In the small space of your home, beneath the strain of a galaxy under siege, your Anakin finally found his way home again.
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racinggirl · 3 months
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promise
Lando Norris Fic - requested
My inbox for requests
a/n: Oh my godness I'm back y'all! It's been so long! It's the first request of hopefully many to come. So far my inbox is empty again, so don't hold back to send in some requests, one, or more. You can even send some anonymously! I hope you will like this story, and keep reading to find some little extra's I added, because I loved making AU's as well. Let me know your thoughts, tips, tops, anything really. It keeps me motivated to write more, so any form of feedback is very welcomed! Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy this fic 🧡
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‘’Promise.’’ You linked your pinkie finger with the 5-year-old curly haired boy, giggling as the both of you were running around the playground, hiding from his mother.
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‘’Come on, I’m nearly 25 already! I can easily go on vacation on my own!’’ You had always wanted to go on a road trip, preferably with a partner on your side, but that hadn’t been the case yet. So, you decided to go alone, because why not? You were old enough to look out for yourself, even though your parents weren’t too keen on the idea of their daughter traveling around Europe on her own.
‘’The world has changed, Y/N, it’s not safe to go on your own.’’
‘’But-…’’
‘’No, you’re not going on your own, end of story.’’
You groaned at your parents’ reaction and went to your room, frustrated, upset, but somehow you got their point. They weren’t wrong, the world had changed, and wasn’t that innocent anymore. Wherever you were watching the news, reports about murder, drunken drivers, kidnappers, it was all out there.
‘There’re more crazy people out in the world than there are behind bars’ was something your father would say, and he wasn’t wrong.
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However, you wished you would have been able to do what that curly haired boy did. Sometimes you were jealous of him, jealous of how he travelled all around the world, going from one country to another, flying from Finland to Australia to Bali and back to his new home, Monaco.
Him and you met when you were karting in Bristol, the both of you loving the sport more than ever. However, karting wasn’t a girl’s sport, at least not to the world at that age. That’s why you moved on from it, where he pursued his dream career, you were only there to cheer from the side lines.
You hated learning, studying, it’s something you never were good at, or at least, not in school. Whenever you saw the data on the karting track, you’d spent hours trying to understand every piece of data that was coming through.
You begged your parents to let you go to engineering school, university. They didn’t want you to, it wasn’t a ‘girl’s thing’ to do, but after you refused to do anything else, they eventually agreed on letting you go to engineering school.
4 years later, and you had your engineering degree. You couldn’t be happier, because right now it meant you might do something you’d actually enjoy. Even if it wasn’t a ‘girl’s thing’ to do, you loved it.
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‘’Hey’’ you smiled as you brought the phone close to your ear, lying in bed as you checked the time.
‘’Hey, did you see?’’
‘’Oh yeah, I did.’’ You laughed, looking up at the ceiling. ‘’You were flying! Pole position baby!’’ You giggled, smiling even harder when you heard him on the other side, repeating the final three words of your sentence.
‘’You still have to come for a race someday, you know?’’ His deep voice was ringing through your ears, and it immediately made your chest feel warm, it always did, he always did.
‘’Mhm.. I know, and I will, when my parents finally let me.’’ You sighed, playing with the ropes of your hoodie.
‘’You’re almost 25, when will they ever let you do your own things?’’
‘’I don’t know,’’ you sighed heavily, ‘’when I’m 40?’’
The sound of his laugh made you sit up straight, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink as you heard his laughter.
‘’Nah, I’ll have you kidnapped by then.’’ He smiled, causing you to giggle next. ‘’They’ll destroy you when you do that.’’
‘’Good thing I have my bodyguards, then.’’ And that made your heart feel a thousand times warmer. He was never one to brag about his success, never. He always was very modest, very gentle, and never liked it whenever people talked about the amount of money he had, or how famous he was. That’s why you clicked so good. You knew each other from when you were 3 years old, and he knew you liked him as a friend, and not because he was a driver.
‘’I asked them if I could go on a road trip, alone.’’ You quietly said, hearing how he fumbled around on the other side of the line. A soft ‘hold on, I’m busy’ made you smile, knowing he told whoever was there to wait, because he was talking to you.
‘’And let me guess, they wouldn’t let you go alone because the world is dangerous.’’
‘’Yep, exactly.’’ You sighed but sat up straight when you heard him gasp.
‘’Lando, what did you do?’’
‘’Nothing.’’
‘’What are you thinking?’’
Silence…
‘’Lando?’’
‘’Come with me.’’ You could hear his grin through the phone, and he could hear your brains working overtime because he immediately started to explain himself. ‘’You won’t be alone, you’ll be with me, my team, my crew.’’ He said. ‘’You can travel the world with me, I might even be able to work around some things here to have you here for some sort of internship, so you won’t have any expenses, and you’ll be able to come to the races with me. Your parents know me, I’m not a stranger.’’
You wanted to say yes, you wanted to give in because honestly, it was a great idea.
‘’But, and these aren’t my worlds, but you’re famous, Lando, and you-…’’
‘’I’m still the same Lando from 20 years ago.’’
‘’I know, I know that, but my parents don’t, you know how they are…’’
You hated the fact you just basically told him you couldn’t go with him because he was famous, and you hated that word as much as he did. Your parents were always so fond of him, they loved him, but they also always made sure to tell you that he had a lot of money, was very well known around the world and that most famous people weren’t the same people they were before they had the money. They’d say that the fame got to their heads, but it wasn’t the same with Lando. He had always been that giggly, funny, sweet, and caring boy, but simply because he wasn’t around during Christmas dinners, or the traditional ‘start of spring’ picnic, they assumed he felt too good for those kinds of things. You explained to them that he was just busy, that because of his job, the start of spring was in the middle of the start of the season, and that he simply couldn’t make it. But they were your parents, stubborn as always.
‘’Y/N?’’
‘’Hmm, sorry, what?’’ You said, hearing him chuckle on the other side of the phone.
‘’Let me talk to them, okay? Let me try to convince them, because honestly, you wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from that decision.’’ He whispered, causing your cheeks to heat up again.
‘’Okay.’’
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‘’Lando?’’ Your parents were surprised to see him at your front step. He promised you he’d come to talk to your parents, and he always keeps his promises.
‘’Y/F/N, Y/M/N, it’s been a while, it’s good to see you again.’’ He was always very polite. Calling your parents by their first name was something you always did; you did the same with Adam and Cisca.
It was a good conversation, you occasionally tried to mix yourself into it. A reassuring smile from the curly haired boy made you confident enough to speak up to your parents, and this time, with success, because only a few weeks after your conversation you were packing your clothes.
One year. For one year you’d join Lando with his journey around the world. You had no idea how he did it, and especially this fast, but he had managed to give you an internship position at McLaren, meaning you could come along to the races, the dream scenario for every Lando-girl out there.
‘’You’re the best, you know?’’ You laughed, placing your phone on the bed as you zipped up your suitcases. Instead of living here in London with your parents for a year, you and him both decided it would be the best if you would live in his apartment near Woking. It was still close to home, and to the factory.
He was the best one could imagine, and you knew he was, because he was always there, and he always kept his promises.
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You put your phone away and collected the things you had to before ordering a taxi to head straight to the airport. You had been living in his apartment for almost 2 weeks now, and things were good, they were great. He occasionally came to Woking for work, but also to spend time with you. You were best friends ever since, and nothing could ever change that.
The moment you arrived on the airport you felt it again. Those feelings you have been trying to ignore the moment they appeared again, the moment your brain wandered off and thought of him. He always made you feel that way, but you ignored it, always. It might sound cliché, and you hated thinking about it because in every romance book it got romanticized. Having feelings for your best friend never worked out great, except in those books.
But reality is, you’re not living in a book, you’re living in the real world, and it was dangerous. Feelings weren’t mutual all the time, and you didn’t want to find out if it was the case this time because you didn’t want to get your heart broken, so being friends made you be close, feel good without the heartbreak ending it.
It went quick, you got in the jet and 1 hour and a few minutes later you were already back on the ground. He was right, it was faster. Of course he was right, he always was, and that made you fall for him even more, how silly it may sound.
He had texted you, saying he was waiting in his car because of the fans wandering at the airport. Someone spotted his car on the way here, and the FBI agents they are, they immediately put one and one together. He was picking up someone, or his girlfriend, something most fans would say.
‘’Hey.’’ You smiled as you embraced him in a tight hug, he smelled good, he always did. A mix of Dior Sauvage and his own scent made you inhale his scent deeply. It felt like home. You explained him that mixing 3 very expensive perfumes wasn’t making him smell 3 times better, he used to mix most of his perfumes until you made that comment. He asked which one you liked the most, and ever since you mentioned Sauvage all he wore was that. But you never noticed the reason was because you mentioned it, you always thought he simply liked that fragrance the most.
‘’Hey, how was the flight?’’ He opened your car door after helping you put the suitcase in his trunk, the real gentleman he was, and hopped in the driver’s seat.
‘’Amazing, the most relaxing flight I’ve ever had.’’ You sighed, putting on your seatbelt before looking over at him, how he started the car and drove out of the parking garage.
You talked more, about the flight, about how things were at the apartment, his apartment here in Monaco, you even talked about your plans these next upcoming days.
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‘’We’ll go to London tomorrow.’’ He whispered. The both of you were laying on his couch in his apartment here in Monaco. Instead of watching TV, you had moved the couch so you both could see the harbour, and the sun setting in the ocean.
The couple of weeks you had been here were the best you ever experienced. You did many things, from shopping to karting in Italy, a day at the beach in France, simracing and even streaming. You made chat very clear you were best friends and nothing more, but when people in chat started to ask about his feelings, and about yours, he told you, quietly, to not answer and ignore them, whatever that might have meant.
‘’Really?’’ Your smile grew wider when he mentioned that. It would be your birthday in 2 days, and you always spent your birthday at home, with your family and friends. Last year he couldn’t make it, as the season started the day your birthday was, but this year he made his way around it. Your birthday was on Tuesday, so Wednesday you’d both fly with his jet to Bahrein for the first race of the year.
‘’Mhm, I wouldn’t want to break your birthday tradition.’’ He smiled, his lips placing a tender kiss on your temple. You were lying when you said your feelings towards him hadn’t grown these couple of weeks with him in Monaco. Everything he did gave you tinglings in your stomach and you couldn’t help ignoring them anymore. You surrendered to the fact you had a crush on him, you liked your best friend, and it was the best feeling ever.
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‘’Happy Birthday!’’ Your parents were waiting in the living room when you entered the house. They decorated the entire room with balloons, garlands, and pictures from your first till your 24th birthday.
‘’Smile!’’ They held the camera out in front of you, and you immediately felt an arm wrapped around your shoulder. This caused your smile to grow even wider.
‘’Happy Birthday, beautiful.’’ He whispered in your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple as his scent immediately went through your nose.
‘’Thank you…’’ You whispered, looking into his bright eyes and immediately looking down after, trying to hide the fact you were blushing because of his actions.
Later that evening, after you spent time with your family and friends, you and Lando went back to his apartment. You got many gifts, and you couldn’t be happier about this day.
‘’How was your day?’’ You felt the vibrations of his deep voice going through your entire body, leaning against him as you were seated on the couch of his apartment.
‘’Amazing.’’ You smiled. ‘’Couldn’t be better.’’
‘’Oh, but I think it can.’’ He reached for something in his bag, and once he got the box, he handed it to you. ‘’Happy Birthday, beautiful.’’ He whispered again, watching how you opened the box slowly.
You pulled the black coloured leash that was hanging from the side of the box and gently placed it on the table in front of you. You lifted the lid and grabbed the small bag inside of the box.
‘’Lando.’’ You gasped, touching the velvet bag and opening it slowly. Tears were burning in your eyes at this point, because you realised he made all this effort to get the perfect gift for you. And he succeeded because it was more than perfect.
‘’This is way too crazy.’’ You whispered, feeling how he moved your hair to the side, helping you clipping the silver Swarovski necklace around your neck.
‘’Look inside.’’ He said, tucking some hair away from your face with his fingers, causing your nervousness to grow even more.
You opened the necklace and smiled when you saw the picture inside. It immediately gave you flashbacks, because even though you were only 4 and 5 years old, it was the brightest memory you had from the two of you.
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FLASHBACK
‘’Dating is stupid! Kissing is stupid!’’ You laughed when you were seated on the swing, holding tightly when Lando pushed you carefully.
‘’I know! My mommy and daddy kiss when daddy comes home from work and it’s so weird!’’ He laughed, making sure you wouldn’t fall from the swing.
‘’Lando! Y/N! Come on, it’s time to go home!’’ You heard Cisca calling for the both of you, and you jumped off the swing immediately.
‘’Come on, run!’’ He held your hand and while the both of you laughed, you ran to the playground, hiding from Lando’s mom. ‘’Shhh..’’
You stayed there for almost 5 minutes, which seemed like an eternity when you’re just 4 years old. ‘’I have an idea.’’ The curly haired boy smiled and held your hand tightly.
‘’Okay, tell me!’’ You giggled.
‘’When we’re both 25 and we’re still single, I’ll ask you to marry me.’’ He smiled, causing you to giggle and laugh, him doing the same. ‘’Okay!’’
‘’Lando! Y/N, come on we have to go, it’s getting dark!’’ You ran away again, running around the playground as you linked your pinkie finger with him. ‘’Promise’’.
END OF FLASHBACK
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After he clipped the necklace around your neck, he took a hold of your hand and grabbed the second box in his bag. He kneeled in front of you, a smile on his lips as he opened the box with one hand.
‘’Marry me.’’ He whispered. ‘’Not now, don’t worry. But one day. You know I am a man of my word, and I still remember that day so well.’’ He smiled, looking at your necklace and then back into your eyes. He always maintained eye contact with you, and it made you feel safe and secure, because you know you can trust those eyes.
‘’I’ve been counting the days till your birthday, knowing that the day you turned 25, I was able to ask this question. I’m lying when I say I was hoping you wouldn’t find someone to be by your side, because, and maybe I’m being selfish, but I want to be that man. It’s too fast to immediately ask you to marry me, because I can’t force you to say yes, but God… Y/N. See this as a promise ring. See this as a promise ring that we’ll be together, that I’ll be the man in your life that makes you the happiest you’ll ever be.’’
Tears were streaming down your face as you listened to every word he said. Every word chosen so carefully yet so chaotically, because this is the moment you knew you weren’t the only one feeling this intense love for him. He felt it for you, too.
You answered him by cupping his cheeks with your hands and doing the one thing you have been dreaming of doing for almost 22 years. You kissed him, his lips moving on yours almost instantly caused you to smile against his lips, him following your movements. This kiss was something else, something that made all the butterflies in your stomach explode with fireworks, like they were all holding a fairy light and lighting them all at the same time.
‘’I love you, Lando, I always have, and I’m so glad I can finally say it out loud now.’’ You giggled, feeling his hand reaching for yours and the ring slipped around your finger so effortlessly.
‘’I love you too, and I promise I’ll get you a proper engagement ring.’’ He whispered before pressing his lips on yours again, firmly, full of love.
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2 years later
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372 notes · View notes
uyuuma · 1 month
Text
“ I HOPE YOU KNOW I'M FADED ”
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drunk!gojo x exgf!reader ღ MDNI.
❥ summary. you and your toxic ex, gojo, broke up months ago. yet you find his drunk ass outside your apartment door.
❥ warnings. nsfw, female anatomy, toxic ex, manipulative gojo, dub con, dacryphilia, use of the name 'daddy', alcohol mentioned, tw: toxic relationship dynamic, etc.
❥ a/n. okok this one i thought of while i was bored at work, hope y'all enjoyyyy. i had to resubmit this post bc it got taken down bruh lets hope it doesnt happen again (title was inspired from the song 'spotlight' by lil peep; it is encouraged to listen while reading :3)
❥ wc. 3.2k
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Your life has been rather drama-free ever since you broke up with Satoru Gojo.
After the constant arguments and severe manipulation that he had put you through, you decided enough was enough and you told him to essentially fuck off.
But if you were being honest with yourself, you weren't fully over him yet. In fact, life may have been drama-free but it became so boring after that. In some kind of fucked up way, you kind of missed the rollercoaster of emotions he put you through.
That's just how things are you guess, prioritizing your peace over that man was the healthier decision in the long run. You blocked his number and all of his social media as well as ghosting all of your mutuals, like Suguru and Shoko. It was a tough decision but you were tired of them asking about you and Satoru. He's done enough damage to your life already.
It's been radio silence since then, wonderful peace and quiet for two whole months. You found yourself taking up old hobbies again, exercising regularly, and even talking to other men. Life was right back on track and you were on your way to properly healing.
Unfortunately, it wasn't enough because he still knew where you lived. You didn't really bank on the fact he would come banging on your door. You believed he would just move on, since he is Satoru Gojo after all. Any woman would be head over heels for the handsome man, even if he was toxic as fuck.
But no, god dammit it all, he is still stuck on you.
Loud banging could be heard on your apartment door. It scared the living daylights out of you when you shot up from beneath your covers. You thought that there was someone trying to break in or perhaps your building manager was trying to alert you to a fire. You immediately rolled out of bed and ran to the door.
That's when you heard that cursed voice.
"Open uppppp!" the voice slurred on the other side.
You groan an exasperated "Noooooo fuckkkk!" under your breath after realizing it's your ex.
"Baby please... I know you're in thereeee" He said in a joking manner.
You open the door a crack, not unhooking the chain lock. "Go away, I told you I never wanted to see you again." You said coldly. Your voice was also a tad raspy, as you had just woken up from a deep slumber.
"Baby don't be like that, let daddy in will you?" He purred through the crack of the door. You could tell he was under the influence of something and it caused you to roll your eyes.
"Fuck no, now leave before I call the cops." You threatened as you went to shut the door.
The door came to a halt with a loud 'THUD'. Satoru grabbed the chain lock with his fist and he held it open before you could shut it. You gasp and jolt back from the audacity that this guy had.
"No no no no no, you're not listening t'me. I wanna talk to you." He said as he tried to pull the chain off the door.
You knew he had the strength to do it too and you didn't feel like replacing it so you annoyedly invited him in.
"Christ, fine but only for a bit! Do you understand me?" You said sharply, unlocking the chain.
"Anything you want, mama." He said grinning, he swiped the door open wide to let his towering frame through the doorway.
You click your tongue in irritation as you quietly close the door behind him. "What do you want, Satoru? It is 3 in the fucking morning!" You whisper yelled.
"Shhhhshhhshh" He spat out at you, putting his long finger against your lips, hushing you. "I just missed you so much, hehe." He found it amusing you were getting angry and it only triggered you more.
"Don't touch me, you're not my boyfriend anymore." You said smacking his hand away from you.
"Says who?" He asks confusedly. He tilts his head to the side.
"Says me!" You said trying not to scream too loud and wake the neighbors.
"Pshhh nah ah!" He says as he smirks. "I say we just forgive each other and move on, huh?" He proposes the idea, with full confidence.
You let out a laugh in disbelief. "Each other? You prick, you're the one that manipulated me and used me! If anything you should be begging me for forgiveness! And you can start by leaving!" Your voice was starting to get louder, but you were beyond infuriated right now.
"What are y'talking about? Don't start with this crazy shit." He said with a twinge of irritation in his voice. He slouched a lot worse than usual, his hands stuffed into the pocket of his sweats. He was wearing that stupid compression shirt that would always make your head spin when you saw it.
He also reeked of alcohol. It was safe to say that the dude was drunk. It took a lot just to get him tipsy, so for him to be this drunk it must've meant he's been at it all night.
"Look baby, I just came from Sukuna's house party and it made me realized how much I missed youuu." he said, his eyes all glossy.
Oh? So, he decided to crawl back after drinking himself silly at some house party? This guy couldn't get anymore pathetic, you thought to yourself. "You stink of booze, get out of my apartment you bum." You said pointing out the door. "I don't need you ruining my life again."
"C'mon don't be like that princess, you know the only thing I'd ever ruin is your slutty little holes." He said, smirking. He grabbed your chin with his hand and brought you close to his face. You could smell the whiskey still hot on his breath.
You were so beyond done with this. "You're repulsive, do not talk about me like that." All of the emotions you had that you've suppressed came back and all at once. You could feel that all too familiar burning in your eyes and throat.
You went silent and smoothed over your hair with your hand, trying to soothe yourself. Do not let him make you cry again. You took a few deep breaths before continuing.
"Look I know you're fucked up, but you need to call an Uber and leave immediately." You said looking up into his eyes to show how serious you were being.
He just continued to give you this cocky smirk while tuning you out. He just won't fucking listen to you.
"Ok! Well here this shit is again! You never take me seriously! It's like I'm this big fucking joke to you!" You yelled out, letting your emotions start to swell inside your chest.
Tears began to spill from your eyes as months and months of frustrations started to unravel. You looked down and brought your sleeve to wipe your tears. "Well, I won't take it anymore! I-" Suddenly you found that your breath was suddenly snatched from your lungs, after looking back up at him.
Satoru was palming his hard-on while you were sobbing. He was getting off to your tears. The fucking bastard.
"Are you─!" You were cut off by Satoru's moans.
"Fuck, you are so sexy when you get all emotional like that. God, I just want to shut you up with my cock." He said eyes fixated on your face.
"You cannot be serious right now!" You've had enough of his shit, you shoved him, trying to get him out the door.
"Oooh playin' rough with me princess?" He doesn't budge from you trying to push him. "Aww, if only you weren't so weak." He says as he wraps his hand around your wrist and pulls it up. He yanks your hand above your head and watches you squirm.
He looks thoroughly amused and cracks a smile when you fight back.
"Aw I miss this, us arguing and fighting. It always gets my blood pumping." he said, shoving you to your knees.
You tried to fight where this was inevitably going to end up, but it was no use. Satoru was just too damn strong and too damn convincing.
He hisses as he frees his dick from his sweats. It bobs up and down from the sudden release. Your eyes follow it, mesmerized with how big it was. It's been a few months since you last saw it. You had so many conflicting thoughts racing through your head as you silently knelt on the floor below him.
"Suck." He commanded, holding his tip to your lips. His precum lubricated your soft lips, making you feel sticky already.
You shook your head and used your hands to push away from it using his thighs as leverage. You didn't want to give into him, not after everything.
"No fuck- c'mon baby just open wide." He cooed out to you. Even now he was deciding everything for you. He decided you were going to suck his dick and that's what you were going to do.
It was a struggle between you pushing away and him grabbing your hair and pushing your head down onto his cock. Between his groans in anticipation and your whines in protest, he became increasingly impatient.
"No no no, shhhshhh... that's a good girl." He hiccupped. Satoru successfully got your mouth to take his tip. He grunted and tilted his head back slightly, feeling you slowly but surely take his length.
"Oh fuck, I missed your mouth so much baby." He purred as he parted your hair out of your face.
You closed your eyes in defeat as tears began sliding down your cheeks. He held your head still with one hand gripping on your pony tail and pumped himself in and out of your mouth.
"Fuuuuck, no matter where I looked I couldn't find another girl who satisfied me like you do." He started to invade your throat with his length, making your esophagus become sore and your lungs burn from the lack of air.
You choked on his cock, saliva dripping down your chin and neck, as well as down his balls. Your fingernails dug deep into his thighs, trying to either push yourself off or for leverage. One of the two, you didn't know anymore. All you knew was that little warm sensation that built between your legs. Your body was betraying you, you were supposed to hate this man, to not let him abuse you anymore. But fuck, his cock hit all the right places in your tight throat. Your eyes begin to cross as you struggle to breathe.
"Shit, you swallow me so good. Mmm, tell me you want daddy to cum down your throat." He said fucking into your mouth, your lewd slurping sounds were very pleasing to his ears.
You let out a muffled moan in response, obviously you couldn't say anything but that was enough of an answer for him.
"Oh fuck, take my load." he ordered, his abs flexing as he came. He groaned as he painted your throat white with his seed. You could feel the hot, sticky fluid make its way down your throat as you swallowed it all.
More tears fell onto your cheeks. "Hate you, 'toru." you whined out, throat still raw from his dick forcing its way in.
Satoru gave you that cocky smile again and tapped his cock against your cheek as you pouted. "Still harddd." he sang. "Wanna be a doll f'me and get on all fours?" He said wiping the spit off your chin.
You were so disappointed in yourself. This man was forcing himself back into your life and all you could do was watch as it happened. You looked up at him and see that faded look in his eyes. They say that drunk words were sober thoughts, has he been wanting to do this for two months?
Despite everything, you did exactly as he said. You turned around and lowered yourself onto all fours. Truth is, your pussy was aching for him and it had been since you guys broke up. Those men couldn't satisfy you and neither could your dildo, at least not like how Satoru can. Perhaps this whole situation was inevitable.
You pull down your panties and shamefully spread your pussy out for him, showing how you were already wet and ready for him to stretch you out.
"Aww, baby you're already soaked. I haven't even touched you down there yet." He said kneeling down to take a closer look. He took his hand to grip your ass and moved his thumb to swipe a line against your cunt.
You shuddered from the satisfaction of finally being touched where you were aching. You could hear shuffling from behind you and felt a sudden wet, warmth swipe up and down on your clit.
You gasped and clasped your hand over your mouth in response to Satoru suddenly eating you out. How polite of him to at least warm you up.
There was something so feral about the way he ate you out. Perhaps it was the alcohol, but he was sloppily sucking on your clit making your legs shake from the pleasure. He began humming and moaning as his tongue entered you, pumping in and out. His fingernails were digging into the fat of your ass as he spread your cheeks nice and wide for him.
Your arms wanted to give out from under you, but the bastard chose to fuck you on the cold hardwood flooring in the foyer. So you struggled to hold your head up, as if that would protect your dignity.
Satoru parted his mouth from your now slick folds, spit dripping all over your floors. "Mmm, baby I missed tasting you." He said, lust dripping from his voice almost as much as the saliva down his chin. He wiped the drool and slick from his mouth and gave your ass a swift 'SMACK'. You yelped out from the sudden sting.
"You ready baby? This is my favorite part." He cooed into your ear as he rutted his erection against your pussy.
"Yes 'Toru, fuck me please." You whined out. You were already gone, you just wanted the sweet release of the growing knot in your tummy. It was far too late to fight back at this point, all you could think about was him rearranging your guts.
He didn't need to hear any other words of confirmation as he aligned his throbbing cock with your dripping cunt. He pushed the tip in and let a shaky moan out along with a hiss.
"Fuck, always so tight." He groaned while thrusting just the tip in and out of your hole. His hands were still gripping your ass at this time, but he moved his left hand to grip onto your shoulder, lowering you onto his cock.
You let out such sweet moans and whimpers as he watched your pretty cunt swallow him up. He was mesmerized, trying not to cum at the very sight of it. He gave a drawn out sigh in relief from feeling your gummy walls clamp onto him.
He repositioned his large hands to have a strong grip on your waist as he started to thrust in and out of you. It was a slow rhythm at first, nice and sensual like he was trying to massage your insides.
It drove you insane, feeling him drag in and out. He had your back arched, so you folded your arms and laid on them. You scraped the floors with your nails as you felt him start to smack his hips against your ass.
"Mmm... fuck Satoru..." you mewled out, shoulder blades pushing together as your back curved in.
"M'gonna ruin your little pussy." He said making his thrusts rougher. "Gonna punish you for leaving me." He grunted out through clenched teeth. He let out a breathy moan as he leaned over you, slamming his hips flush against your ass.
You let out a sharp squeal as he jackhammered your cervix at this new angle. This squeal pleased him so much that he chuckled and said, "Keep making those cute little sounds."
He caged you beneath him by putting all of his weight on his left arm, holding his hand steadily on the floor by your head. He took his right arm and roughly took your arms from beneath your head. He pinned them both behind your back as he relentlessly pounded into you. This way he could have complete control over your body.
Your face was now met with the cold floor. Your cheek was squished and your mouth agape, drooling from the mind-melting ecstasy. You were starting to see stars, eyes not being able to focus on a single thing. Not that you could see through your tears anyways. You felt your climax approaching rapidly, pussy clenching him uncontrollably.
He started to curse under his breath as his thrusts became more shaky and messy from the pressure. You could tell he was nearing his orgasm too.
"Fuck baby, cum on my cock. Wanna feel you squeeze me." He said, his words coming out super slurred. You couldn't see his expression but you could tell from his voice that he was not only drunk but also pussy-drunk.
Your hands clenched from behind your back and your whole body seized up as you reached your limit. "F-fuck m'gonna cum daddy!" You screeched out, forgetting it was four in the morning. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you gasped. Your whole body spasmed as you felt that sweet release you had been craving for months.
"Oh shit baby-" He cut himself off as he bit down on his lip. He hunched his entire body over you and his hands flew to grip onto your hips. "M'gonna fucking fill you so deep" He whimpered as he slammed your ass tightly against his pelvis. You could feel him twitch against you as that familiar warmth invades your pussy.
His curses are much louder this time around, slurring out profanities as thick ropes of cum coat your walls.
You gave one last whine before completely collapsing under him. "Satoru..." you said softly, very much out of breath.
He was silent for a second, slowly pulling himself out of your sore, leaking hole. He took his thumb and plugged your cunt so that his precious fluids stayed inside.
You squeaked from the feeling and laid on the floor in defeat. Your whole body was spent and you felt as if you could pass out on the floor.
He stood up and lifted his sweats back up. "C'mon princess lets go back to bed." He said kneeling back down to pick you up.
"I hate you, Satoru." You said meekly. You meant it, yet you didn't at the same time.
"Love you too baby." He said picking you up, bridal style.
He carried you to your bed, slipping under the covers with you. He spooned you and rested his face in the crook of your neck.
His scent was intoxicating, cologne mixed with musk and alcohol. Fuck, you really did miss him after all.
Whatever, you'll deal with kicking him out in the morning. Or not. You weren't sure anymore as you drifted back to sleep.
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388 notes · View notes
m4tthewsgf · 5 months
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If we go down, then we go down together.
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Matt sturniolo x fem reader !fluff
Warning: anxiety attack, kissing
Author's Note: hi y'all I hope you're doing well! I came up with this while listening to "we go down together" by Dove Cameron and I just thought that it would be funny if the song was about elevators AND THEN I REMEMBERED MATT IS SCARED OF THEM so I was like YEAH!!!!!!! That was dumb I apologise but it's also kinda funny???? Idk y'all I'm really sleepy lmao. Enjoy!!! You're important!!
---
One thing about Matt is that he hates elevators. The thought of being in an enclosed, tight space from which you couldn't immediately escape in case of an emergency along with at least 3 other people breathing right next to you made him shiver in fear. He still got in them, although it was not by choice, but he was always extremely nervous when he did so.
I have been dating Matt for almost two years now and I can read him like an open book; I can tell just from the way he fidgets with his necklace or earrings that he's anxious or how he frowns when he is really upset. I know how to have him calm down when he is really stressed since I've seen him go through a couple of panic attacks throughout our relationship and the thought of little him dealing with that always broke my heart.
I've known him for a while and I always knew I liked him. It always confused me how I was able to pull a man like him and most importantly, how he fell in love with me. It was honestly a confidence boost every time I thought about it.
"Baby, it's okay I'm going in there with you" I soothed him as we waited for the elevator to come the story where we were at. I always told him that to remind him that he wasn't alone and I'd be there as well, hoping to bring some sort of comfort in him and help him relax.
"Yeah but what if-" he started his usual «what if» monologue.
"Matt, there's not what ifs. You're going to be okay, I promise you, here" I cut him off as I interlocked our fingers together while drawing circles on his soft skin with my thumb, "I'm right here, I got you" I added with a soft smile.
"What would I do without you?" he smiled back and leaned down to place a sweet peck on my lips. He pulled away just in time before we heard the ding which signified that the elevator has arrived.
"Come on" I said tugging his hand towards the doors and heard him inhale sharply.
Honestly, it was kind of hilarious how scared he was of them, but that was something that I'd never say to him. I would never want to invalidate his feelings and I totally understand that the feeling of fear mixed up with anxiety is not a good combination. I mean, his fear was valid if I'm being honest, but it still made me want to chuckle a bit.
"See? Everything's okay, Matty!" I told him once we got inside and the doors closed. He just looked down at me and smiled softly. We were the only ones inside so he took the opportunity to pull me into a gentle but passionate kiss.
Kissing him has been one of my favourite things to do ever since we got together. His lips are so soft and it's one of my two favourite features of his, the other one being his eyes. Don't get me wrong, I love everything about him, but those two features are the ones I notice first in every person I meet. You see, it is widely known that the eyes are the mirror to one's soul, but I personally believe that one's mouth is as powerful as their eyes, if not more; the words that fall out of it can break you or heal you. It holds the power to make you feel insignificant like a tiny ant in this huge world or as important as oxygen. It can also make you feel worried when you see a loved one frown or warm inside when you see them smile and laugh. And Matthew's mouth always did the latter.
It can also make you feel euphoric, or at least that's how I felt every time I kissed Matt; once our lips collided, I could feel that fuzziness in my chest that only appeared when he was around. I felt as if I could lift the whole damn world with my bare hands! I felt alive! I felt safe and loved and cared for. When we kissed, nothing and no one else mattered, just the two of us.
"I love you" he whispered after he broke the kiss, his lips still brushing against mine. I couldn't help but blush at the sight in front of me while feeling his grip on my waist tighten.
"I love you more-" I whispered back but got cut off as I felt the metallic ground tremble underneath me. My eyes were locked in Matt's as I watched his widen.
"What- what was that?" he panicked and I immediately grabbed his hands.
"Baby, I bet it's nothing just-" I tried to reassure him but got cut off once more with a more aggressive shake. His grip on my hands tightened and his face went white. All of a sudden, we stopped moving.
This cannot be happening right now. I thought. I pulled out my phone to check if there's any signal but there was nothing. Not a single bar.
"Matt, I need you to listen to me, okay baby?" I softly said as I felt his hands tremble against mine. He slowly nodded his head and let out a shaky breath.
"I need you to sit down and try to control your breathing for me. I'm going to go and press the help button on the panel right there and I'm going to be right back to you in a second, mkay?" I spoke as calmly as I could and watched him as he sat down slowly. I went to the panel and pressed the button a couple of times praying that they got the signal.
"It's all going to be okay sweetheart, I promise. I'm right here" I soothed him while I sat down across from him. I noticed how he started fidgeting with the piece of jewellery that fell onto his chest and his shortened breaths.
"I- I think I'm- I'm having an a- attack" he said with a rumbling voice and I reached my hand out to hold his. I scooted over him and wrapped my other arm around his shoulder, his head now hidden into the crook of my neck.
"I know, Matty. How about we do our exercise, hm?" I whispered and started scratching my fingernails against his back. "I want you to close your eyes and imagine we're back in Boston and you're showing me around. Where are you taking me first?"
"Pro- probably my house?" he chatted and I laughed.
"Yeah but let's say you want me to take me out on a date on your favourite spot. Where would that be?"
"Oh. Well there's th- this place a f- few-" he gasped and squinted his eyes.
"You're doing great baby, so so well. Keep going for me, focus on my voice" I praised him and placed soft kisses on his hair while worry had started to fill my own body. Why are they not responding?
"It's a- a few miles away fr- from my h-house and it's a fl- flower valey" he continued after taking a couple of deep breaths.
"Really? And what kind of flowers are there?" I asked feeling the shake on his hands slowly decrease.
"There are sun- sunflowers and tu- tulips. There's other flow- flowers too but I don't know wh- what kind they are but I can re- recognise t- those two 'cause th- they're your f- favourites" he smiled and chuckled slightly.
"You're so cute" I cooed and placed another kiss on his forehead. "Now, what colours do you see?"
"There are s- so many. There's defi- definitely red, ye- yellow and pink and I t- think blue as well b- but I'm not sure. There are also so- some mountains so you see brown t- too" he shrugged.
"That's okay Matty, you're doing great. Are there any animals around?" I spoke softly and moved my hand from his back onto his hair, earning an approving hum from him. However, I still didn't get any response from the reception and I knew I had to go up there and press it again, but I didn't want to leave Matt's side. I wanted him to know he had my full attention.
"Oh yeah, y- you'd love t- them! There are co- cows, the fluffy ones that you l- like and horses!" he exclaimed, "I really ha- have to take you there." his once trembling voice was now somewhat ceased.
"I'd love that, Matt," I placed one more kiss on the top of his head, "And why is this your favourite place in Boston?"
"Well, the sunset from up there is a- amazing and I used to always go there to t- think and c- clear my head. It also reminds me of you" he spoke now with ease, lifting his head from my shoulder and letting out a deep breath which sounded like it was stored in his chest for a while.
"Really?" I asked amused.
"Yeah, its beauty is breathtaking and so is yours. Whenever I go there and look at the scenery, it always calms me down and makes me forget about any worries of mine, something that you do as well," he turned to look at me with an affectionate smile, "If you were any place in the world, you'd be that."
I placed my hands on his cheeks wiping away a few tears that had escaped from his eyes. "I love you" I reminded him and kissed him passionately. "Are you okay?" I whispered against his lips once we stopped, my eyes scanning his features for any signs of discomfort.
"Yes, my love. Thank you," he replied and kissed me once more.
"You don't have to thank me, sweetheart, it's my job to take care of you and make you fell okay, hm?" I playfully told him and poked his chest with my index finger. "Now, let me try and ring them again, it's been almost an hour-"
"Hello?" I heard someone from the other side yell and I sighed in relief.
"Hi, thank you for coming" I yelled. They instructed us to stay away from the door and reassured us that we'd be out in a couple of minutes.
"I'm going to marry you one day" Matt said casually as he pulled me up in to my feet and I stayed there in shock at his confession.
"Wh- What? You want to marry me?" I stuttered.
"Why wouldn't I? You're my happiness, y/n, and I'd love to grow old with you but only if you'd like that too" he shook his head at my shocked expression and chuckled. He pulled me towards his chest, his hand around my waist holding me closer to his body as he looked down at me. "I love you so much that I'm afraid the right words do not exist to describe what I feel when I look at you or hear your voice or just think about you, baby" he added and kissed me again.
"I'd love to grow old with you, Matt. I love you" I giggled and hugged him.
Soon after, we were rescued by a team of firefighters whom we thanked again and bid them goodnight.
"Wanna get ice cream? I'll pay!" I chimed while we were walking down the street hand in hand heading towards Matt's car.
"I'm down and no you won't, let me treat you right, princess" he winked and I blushed.
"You're such a tease!" I rolled my eyes at him and playfully pushed him away only for him to bring my hand up to his lips.
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sunkissed-zegras · 2 months
Note
"it's 2am. you can't keep coming over this late." / "why? you're never asleep either." with luke! 🌱 ty
𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 | lh⁴³
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♡ ─ word count | 873
♡ ─ warnings | luke not feeling like he's good enough, y/n cheers him up
♡ ─ ev's notes | i hope y'all enjoyed!
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You heard a soft knock on your dorm room door, prompting a quiet sigh to escape your lips. Setting aside your textbook, you rose from your chair and made your way to the door, its hinges creaking softly as you opened it. The sight of a tall, curly-haired figure standing outside didn't surprise you.
"Luke? It's 2 am. You can't keep coming over this late," you remarked with a hint of exasperation.
Luke merely shrugged in response. "Why not? You're never asleep either."
You crossed your arms, shooting Luke a disapproving look. "That doesn't mean anything," you replied, glancing at the dimly lit hallway to make sure no one else was disturbed by the noise.
Luke leaned against the doorframe, a smirk on his face. "Come on, I brought snacks," he said, holding up your favorite chips and soda.
Despite your initial annoyance, you couldn't resist a small smile. "You're lucky I'm hungry." You muttered, stepping aside to let him in. As he entered, you couldn't help but notice the tired look in his eyes.
"What's going on?" You asked, closing the door behind him.
Luke flopped down onto your roommate's unoccupied bed, letting out a sigh. "Couldn't sleep. Thought we could hang out for a bit," he admitted, popping open a soda can.
You sighed, realizing that something was bothering him. "Alright, what's up, Luke? What's on your mind?" you asked, taking a seat across from him.
Luke hesitated as he looked up to meet your gaze. He sighed and shook his head, he couldn't hide anything from you no matter how hard he tried.
"I just..." He started, not knowing exactly where to begin. "Everything is happening too quickly. I feel I just started at Michigan and now everyone's sayin' I'm going to New Jersey, that my future's so bright but... I don't know." He shrugged again, nervously bouncing his leg against the bed.
You leaned forward, your expression softening with empathy. "It's a big step, Luke," you said gently, "Leaving behind what's familiar and stepping into something new can be scary."
His restless leg slowed as he listened, his eyes searching yours for understanding. "Yeah, exactly," he replied, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's what I've been working towards, but... it's just hitting me all at once, you know?"
You nodded, offering him a reassuring smile. "I know but everyone knows you're gonna do great, you're already the star of Michigan, you're gonna the star on the Devils, too."
Luke stayed quiet for a moment before letting out a sigh. "What if I'm not?" His voice was quiet as he spoke, he sounded so vulnerable. "Everyone thinks I'm gonna do great things, just like Jack and Quinn but what if I can't? What if I'm not as good as them? What if it all goes downhill after this?"
Taking a moment to choose your words carefully, you reached out to gently place a hand on his. "Luke, listen to me," you began, your voice steady and reassuring. "You are not your brothers, and you don't need to be. You're your own person, with your own talents and strengths."
Luke's gaze remained fixed on the floor, his thoughts seemingly trapped in a whirlwind of anxiety. "But what if I'm not good enough?" he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your grip on his hand tightened slightly, your reassurance unwavering. "You are more than good enough, Luke. What if it all doesn't go downhill? What if this is the start of something great, Luke? You're great at hockey and everyone knows that, that's never gonna disappear."
Luke's eyes slowly lifted to meet yours, a hint of vulnerability still lingering in his gaze. As you continued to hold his hand, you spoke with determination.
"You've worked endlessly to get to where you are, and that's not by accident," you said, your words carrying a sense of belief. "You've earned every opportunity because of your skill and passion for the game."
He took in your words, and a subtle shift occurred in his expression. "What if I disappoint everyone?" Luke questioned, his doubt still present.
You squeezed his hand reassuringly. "You won't, Luke. You've got a support system that believes in you, not just because of your last name but because of who you are. And if there are tough times, we'll face them together, okay?"
Luke's lips curved into a small smile as he gazed at you, your heart flipping as he looked at you like you were the best thing in the entire world.
"Okay," Luke replied, his smile growing more genuine.
Encouraged by his response, you leaned back, your hands now resting on your own lap. "Look, no one expects you to have it all figured out," you continued. "What matters is that you're taking steps forward, and we're all here for each other through it all."
The tension in Luke's shoulders seemed to ease further, and he nodded in agreement. "I'm lucky to have you around, you know?" he admitted, his voice sincere.
"Yeah, you are." You said in a joking manner, causing a quiet chuckle to come out of Luke's mouth. "Now, do you wanna watch some movies?"
"Yeah, let's do it."
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-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-
thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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adventuringblind · 8 months
Text
Mr. Blue Sky
Charles Leclerc x Reader x Max Verstappen
Genre: Fluff
Request: Yes, I loved every second of this. Y'all are welcome to send me your own ideas :)
Summary: After Max gets cheated on, he can't stand being in the house where it happened. Reader and Charles take him in and show him he's still loved.
Warnings: cheating
Notes: No hate to Kelly. I just needed this as a plot point.
Fun fact: my mom calls Valentine’s Day ‘legislative love day’ and will only do any remotely related activities on the 15th because she has a point to prove.
Masterlist
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The sound of Charles' phone buzzing at an ungodly hour is what you woke up to. The room is still pitch black, and you can hardly make out Charles in the bed.
He rolls over and pucks up the phone. "It's Max." He states. Voice filled with the sleep from which he was dragged.
He answers the phone, and you curl up into him, hoping to listen in. "Max? Are you-"
You can hear faint mumbling and the occasional choked sob on the other end of the line. "Breathe, Max. I'm going to come get you. Can you stay on the phone with me?" Charles is throwing off the covers and looking for his car keys.
You look at Charles for some sort of answer. To which Charles pulls the phone away from his ear and kisses your head. "Kelly cheated. I'm going to go get him."
You nod your head in understanding. You clamber out of bed and see Charles off to the door.
Your grateful that Monte Carlo is a small city and that it doesn’t take long for him to come back. His body shouldering a drunk Max through the door.
Max is no coherent and reeks of alcohol. His eyes are puffy and his cheeks tear stained. His lips tremble as them mutter words neither of you can understand.
Your heart hearts for him. You and Charles had made an effort to be around the Dutch. You both actively became friends with him and found yourselves in each others company often.
And did you both end up falling for the same pair of blue eyes? Yes.
It was actually Charles who brought it up first. You’d never considered the idea of being with more then one person. Then you got to know Max and you found yourself considering more often then you’d admit.
Neither of you knew if Max would ever be into that and neither of you wanted to ask. The possibility of ruining what is currently a good friendship was not on the to-do list. Plus, he had Kelly and P.
You shake of your thoughts and help Charles get Max into the guest bed. You and him do your best at cleaning him up and making him comfortable despite the fact he is less then cooperative.
When you two are finally back in your own bed, Charles sighs in pained defeat. “She cheated on him while he was out with P.”
You cringe in disgust. “Has it been going on long?”
“Apparently so. About four months.” Charles climbs further into the blankets and pulls you into his chest. “He gave her the apartment. He was out late because he didn’t know where to go.”
“We could offer him a place here for the time being.” You suggest. The slightest hint of a smirk playing on your lips.
“Pretty sure you are just wanting to see more of him.” He chuckles. “But yes, I think it’s a good offer until he figures things out.”
“Don’t lie, you stare at him all the time! You’re going to be the one who outs us.”
“Shush amour. I’m exhausted and I know you are also. Now sleep.”
~
The week brings interesting events. Max does take the offer to move in, though he’s been quiet and reserved since he started staying with you. Max, Charles, and Lando went back to, now Kelly’s apartment, to get his stuff.
He comes back into the house crying. His heart shattered and the apartment a mere reminder of the events that occurred.
Your grateful it’s the off season and Max will hopefully have some time to process before the start of the new season. You and Charles don’t push him and give him space when he needs. Though you also invade when you can see he’s spiraling. Desperate attempts at not letting him go into those dark places are often just you being in the same room as him.
~
By the time Christmas rolls around, he’s doing the slightest bit better. He’s been out of the room more and you haven’t had to force him to eat. He decorates the apartment with you and Charles.
It’s disastrous.
The three of you can’t stop laughing at the mess you’ve made of the decor.
The three of you spend Christmas Eve with Charles’ family. Max hadn’t wanted to go home to his less then festive father and Victoria was away with her in-laws.
You obviously weren’t going to leave him alone and Pascale had been thrilled when he said he’d come to dinner.
You could tell he felt awkward and out of place at first, but everyone did their best to make him feel welcome. Soon he was relaxing, sipping on his drink and engaging in conversation.
~
Christmas and new years had gone by to fast. January had now descended and the cold weather had yet to completely let up.
Originally you thought Max would be out by now. That he’d want his own space as soon as possible. It’s not like he couldn’t afford it. Yet he stayed and you and Charles welcomed him in.
Max was seemed like he was healing. His eyes had regained their light. The one they lost those first days of December. He definitely hadn’t moved one though. You and Charles could still hear the soft sniffles from his room at night.
He may be smiling, but he’s still broken hearted.
The most interesting new additions are the cats. The felines that are Max’s children. He would probably murder for his cats and become the next John Wick. There is something wholesome and sweet about his interactions with his pets.
Charles on the other hand has a bad relationship with animals in general. Small felines included. He like them, they just don’t like him back yet. Max has been letting him feed them until they realize he is nice.
You also have learned that you can share meal prep with Max. You’d banned Charles from it after he tried once and failed miserably. Max isn’t the best in the kitchen, but he helps out and cooks some nights.
~
February. The month of love.
Everything around reminds Max of what happened. How he will not be doing anything special for the holiday. He doesn’t even want to go out of the apartment and you and Charles have to drag him to go get fresh air.
The fateful day comes around and you and Charles have agreed to keep it small.
Corny, sweet, and romantic is Charles definition of a good day and treats you accordingly.
You try to get Max to come eat something but end up just leaving it at the door.
Despite what people may think, Max is romantic at heart. Charles learned this last year when the Monegasque asked him if he was doing anything with Kelly for the holiday.
You and Charles are lounging on the sofa with a movie playing in the background. His arm draped around you and mouth pressing silly kisses along your jaw.
“I can feel your worry radiating from here.” Charles stops his kisses and you roll your eyes at him in response.
“He’s not eaten all day and I’ve heard him crying. Just wish I could help is all.”
Charles hums in your ear. “We could see if he wants a distraction.” He punctuates his sentence with a cheeky smile.
“Charles Perceval Leclerc! You can not seriously be suggesting what I think you are.” You playfully bat his arm. “I highly doubt he would neither want that or like that.”
“How about we ask and then go from there.”
“I think you just want him to fuck you.” This time it’s your turn to give a cheeky smile.
~
This is definitely not how you envisioned asking Max about this would go. His teary eyes haven’t looked away from Charles since the pretty male started talking.
This left you in an odd place of trying to read his reactions and getting absolutely nothing.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to or if you’re not into it. We would completely understand.” Charles laughs but you can tell he’s nervous. His body language betrays him.
Max looks between the two of you like he’s considering something. “You’re telling me you’ve both been crushing on me since last year? And I didn’t notice?”
“You’re very oblivious at times.” You shrug.
“That’s fair but also not the point.” Max stands up out of the bed and starts pacing. “I just don’t understand why me. You two are amazing people and you’re so great together.”
“Y/N has a numbered list of reasons in her phone that we’ve created in case this ever happened.” Charles looks at you expectantly but Your already pulling up the list.
“-please don’t read it I’m already blushing and that will make it worse. Maybe one day but not now.”
All of you freeze at the fact he insinuated a future.
“Does this mean you like us back?” Charles almost purrs. He’s so flirty now but if this goes farther then just a confession tonight he’ll be stuttering and weak in the knees. You know from experience.
Max is the stuttering mess right now however. He’s lost all of his words and is simply gesturing with his hands.
“Breathe Maxy, take your time.” He manages a few and usable to get a grip on his thoughts.
“I’ve to confess something first.” You both look at him expectedly but don’t push him. “The reason Kelly cheated on me is because she’d found a journal of mine. It was a thing my therapist told me to do and so I did. When you two started coming around more, I fell hard. For both of you. I wrote about to hopefully understand myself better and get the thoughts out of my head but they stayed and I hated myself for it. She read it and thought I cheated first so she just did it back.”
He’s in the verge of tears again but you and Charles can only stare I’d utter disbelief. Apparently, both of you are also oblivious.
“Please say something.”
“I think it must be fate.” Again that smirk is tugging at Charles lips.
The air in the room is replaced by a new tension. The kind Charles was originally insinuating before you three started talking.
“So about that proposal then…”
Valentine’s Day definitely couldn’t have ended any better.
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p1utofairy · 6 months
Text
PAC: “one hit of your love addicted me. now i’m strung out on you, darlin’, can’t you see?” 🕊️🕰️✨📨
• what will your first love be like?
disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i wanted to try something new by including edits but ofc tumblr is annoying and doesn’t let you post more than 1 video ugh. hope you all enjoy this though! love you much.
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PILE ONE.
hey pile 1 🎀 right off the bat i gotta say…your person could possibly give anakin skywalker vibes visually lolololol very tall, handsome and broody. i'm also thinking of jon snow from ‘game of thrones’ hmmm i think this just ties into the fact that your person is in their bag a good 85% of the time! they analyze and process their thoughts & emotions a lot, and this won’t change especially when it comes to their love and devotion for you. they are very intense and purposeful when it comes to love — there’s no faking it or forcing it. they say what they mean, and mean what they say. they hold themselves to a very high standard so i think they’ll be in their head a lot when it comes down to approaching you/courting you. they want to make sure that they’re doing and saying the right things…they want to make sure that you’re comfortable. they will prioritize you and take the time out to really get to know you! they don’t want to do the whole cliché “wyd” texts or just take you out to the movies. no, they want to be able to take you to places you’ve never been before & treat you to beautiful experiences that will stay with you forever. that’s how highly they think of you, pile 1! they think you deserve the best of the best and they will do everything in their power to give you just that. this person has been through a lot in their life and they’ve felt so alone and misunderstood. 9x out of 10 if they just got out of a relationship, their ex didn’t understand them or couldn’t match them emotionally. your person is big on “everything happens for a reason” so when you come into their life they’re going to feel so much joy and relief, it’s like you’re their saving grace. it’s that energy of — where have you been all my life? that scene of anakin and padmé in ‘star wars: attack of the clones’ on the balcony is coming to mind…the longing in their eyes before they share their first kiss. a lot of people may talk about y'alls relationship/how y'all got together. it's nothing scandalous…i just see people being infatuated? i’m picking up a lot of outside influences/opinions so just be careful of that…don't have too many people in your business cause i’m picking up that some of these people don’t have the best intentions and are secretly jealous. it’s giving very much “fan behavior” hm they might keep tabs or ask lots of questions about you and your person’s relationship…it’s weird. i think for some of you, you’ve been single for a long time, so it’s going to be a shock to a lot of people when you pop out with this person. once your person comes into your life you may start to notice multiple people show romantic interest in you and you’ll be like??? where tf were y’all at when i was single for ____ years?! LMFAOOOOO that’s hilarious but back to your first love, it’ll be beautifully intense. i see you giggling a lot, staring at your person with big starry eyes and a lot of physical touch between you two. it may not even be in a flashy way? i can just see you coming up behind them and placing a hand on their back to make your presence known…i see a lot of moments of them holding you in their arms and resting their forehead against yours — they’re looking at you with so much intensity…deep concentration and passion etched across their face and you just break out into this bright smile and they just melt. you look so innocent compared to them like there’s this light in your eyes that’s left their own a long time ago, but they feel so safe…so free to be themselves when they’re with you. you’re their heart, pile 1. i’m hearing that scene from ‘the bear’ when carmy tells sydney “i couldn’t do it without you. i wouldn’t even want to do it without you…” AWWWWEEEEEE.
via tnqkins on tiktok
other channeled messages:
who's that girl? by eve, shravana moon/rising, doe eyes, baby pink, curly hair, strong arms, yin & yang energy, younger/age difference, vishaka scorpio moon, hypnotic gaze, 10:10, mirroring each other, distinct cologne
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PILE TWO.
heyyy pile 2! you will NOT expect to fall in love with this person wow, your feelings for them will actually catch you off guard. this person is not your usual type and that's what's so intriguing about them…you’ll never know what to expect with them; they’ll keep you on your toes. i think that you keep repeating cycles or keep going back to someone who is no good for you, but once you meet this person there’s no going back. you’ll gravitate towards them like a month drawn to a flame lol you can’t fight these feelings even if you wanted to. you might meet this person through a mutual friend or meet them in a group setting, i see other people around you both as you talk and get to know each other. there’s so much warmth that this person radiates…they feel like home to you. a hug from them could fix your bad day, a kiss from them could make your heart skip a beat 🥹 and their smile?! to see them smile at you will give you an instant serotonin boost. this relationship feels divine…it feels fated. it’s giving “right person at the right time” like everything leading up to this connection will make so much sense once you’re actually together. some of you that chose this pile are quick to self-sabotage or cut off a relationship before you can get too emotionally invested. you’ve built these walls up because you’ve been through a lot of shit and you don’t want the extra baggage a relationship can sometimes bring, but it’s gonna be different with this person. you’re going to be so open to receiving their love and reciprocating it, there’s going to be such a healthy balance between you two. i’m hearing that this person is going to be a wish fulfillment, pile 2. this might be a long distance relationship at first — you might have to travel to see each other or you both will like to travel to different places together. they will value you so much! they will wine and dine you, surprise you with your favorite things and make sure you always have whatever your heart desires. they love you and they will have no problem showing that.
other channeled messages:
short king, sagittarius, bisexual, when harry met sally, opposites attract, capricorn man, matcha latte, boyfriend by big time rush, saturn dominant, west virgina, virgo/6H placements, ruby, freckles
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PILE THREE.
pile 333 🦢 whoa i'm already picking up that this is a love that only grows stronger and better with time; it ages like fine wine. WOW WOW WOW. i'm ngl i feel like this person is your divine counterpart…when i say you two are a match made in heaven — i mean it. you complete each other in ways that other people will never truly understand. there’s this unspoken love and desire between you two initially; i see you both stealing a lot of glances at each other, waiting for the other to cave in and say something…anything. you both want to close that space between you but don’t know exactly how to. i don’t think either of you has ever felt this way before about anybody 😮‍💨 this love is strong AF. it’s never a dull moment between you two, there’s always that underlying passion and spark ready to consume you both. i’m picking up that either your ex or their ex is going to be very envious of this relationship. they almost feel blindsided in a sense…they thought you were going to come back to them and give them another chance, so it's going to make them feel some type of way when they see that you’ve moved on. please be cautious of this ex pile 3…they don’t have good intentions at all and i pick up an obsessive vibe from them. we are blocking that all the way out 🧿 anyways! your person’s love language is more than likely quality time…they loveeeeeee spending time with you and stepping out of their comfort zone to try things that you like. there’s a solid friendship at the root of this connection pile 3…like not only is this person your lover, but they’re also your best friend wrapped into one. you will give them the key to your heart and vice versa. any other options or third party situations will be cut off/left behind because all you both can see is each other! nothing and no one can tear this relationship down because it’s built on such a strong foundation, you can see yourself with this person years down the line from now and they feel the exact same way. you’re home to them. i know this is your first love pile 3 but i wouldn’t be surprised if they popped the question 💍 — i'm just sayinnnnnnnnnn!
other channeled messages:
feel it by jacquees ft. lloyd & rich homie quan, la perla lingerie, just left a toxic relationship, rock the boat by aaliyah, air sign placements, 26, 111, lemon drop, leo, jaded by drake
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sweatervest-obsessed · 7 months
Text
Quand Tu Voudras
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
WC: ~7.2k
TW: kissing, angst, blood, burns, cuts, bruises, arguments, crying, depression, mention of EDs, panicking, explosions, drinking, self-image issues, mentions of addiction, mentions of drug use, mentions of Maeve
A/N: Third and Final Part babyyyyyy let's GO. I'm actually excited to watch each part get its own vibes, but also be a cohesive story. I really hope you all enjoy it! Thank y'all for doing me on this crazy journey!
Dedicated to New Lovers , You're Keeping Me Down
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“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” ~Orson Welles
It was the most beautiful you had ever looked. 
Shopping for a wedding dress was one of the most terrifying experiences you had ever lived through, and you had been shot multiple times. 
But being surrounded by your closest friends and family members as you tried on dress after dress kept you going. 
You finally found the perfect one in a small shop outside of the DC area, hidden in a little suburb where life wasn’t as rushed as it felt. 
You tried on only three dresses at this little boutique. The second was almost perfect, and you were about to “say yes to the dress,” but someone was reorganizing the front rack, and that’s when the one you were currently wearing appeared, sent by the higher powers. 
It fits you perfectly. 
You started to cry when you saw yourself in the mirror, which caused Garcia to start crying, which caused Emily and JJ to cry, and the rest of your family quickly followed. 
So it was only natural that staring at yourself in the mirror right now made you tear up again. 
“Oh, Babe, no.” Emily was quick to fan your eyes as you tilted your head back, letting the tears melt back into your eyes. 
“I can’t help it.” You grumbled, eyes wide as you tried calming your breathing slowly. “It’s just so pretty…” 
“I know, I know. My money is on Derek crying first.” 
“Oh, please. We all know Rossi won’t stop crying the second he takes his seat.”
You had decided that the only people you wanted at the ceremony were close friends and family. That meant the team, their little ones, and each of your parents. Small. Peaceful. Intimate.
Derek was over the moon when you asked him to officiate your wedding, wanting him to be there for you in every way since that’s always been his role. 
You had taken him out for coffee under the very real guise that wedding planning made you want to rip your head off and chuck it out to sea. 
“Okay, baby girl, talk to me.” 
The ice was melting in the cup from the warmth of your hands, making your hands wet with the condensation, hiding the sweat from your nerves. 
“Do you know how much flowers cost?” 
Derek chuckled and shook his head. “No. I don’t think I do.”
“The government doesn’t pay me enough for the amount of flowers I want at my reception.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have picked the Peabody Library as your reception location.”
“In my defense.” You furrowed your brows. “You were with us when we toured it. It’s perfect, Derek. Don’t tell me it’s not.” 
“No, it’s perfect; I just don’t understand why you need that many flowers.”
“Sometimes, I feel like you don’t even know me, Derek Morgan.” 
“He’s going to cry first.” Emily smiled, lightly dabbing under your eyes with some of your powder foundation to show that you weren’t almost crying. 
“I will buy you a whole bottle of Möet that Rossi will cry first.” 
As JJ entered the room, you and Emily shook hands, giggling like school girls. “Almost ready?” 
You nodded, glancing over at yourself in the mirror. 
Honestly, you had never thought this day would come. Your wedding day. After everything you had been through, all of the heartbreak, all of the confusion, all of the traveling and running away. Everything you could possibly think of going wrong just went wrong. Suddenly, the flowers weren’t delivered, and then no one showed up to the reception, and then you were left at the altar, abandoned and unloveable again. You couldn’t breathe; your chest was seizing. It was too tight. There wasn’t enough fresh air in the room. Your heartbeat was too loud, and you couldn’t look away from yourself in the mirror. This wasn’t real; Everything bad happening was in your head. 
Or maybe it was an awful dream, and you need to wake up before it gets too far and your heart gets shattered again. 
JJ whispered your name, reaching out for you, sending a shock of electricity through your arm when she touched it. 
You jumped. 
“I want to talk to him.” You blurted out, looking over at JJ. “I–I need to talk to him.” 
“You said yes.” 
You nodded, staring down at your wine glass, pondering if it was the right decision. Emily was wondering the same thing. 
“I don’t know if it’s the best idea for you to go back to—”
“It is.” You cut her off, not harshly, just firmly. “I haven’t been the same since I left the BAU, and I left for perfectly valid reasons, Em, I know. But….”
“But?” 
“But I miss it. Don’t you? It flexes my muscles in ways I couldn’t replicate, and I was so good at it. I felt smart and useful and not lost, wandering the islands of Greece.”
If you didn’t know her so well, Emily’s fake gasp could have easily been mistaken for a real one. “We had a fantastic time, and you know it.” 
“Yes, but I also know that I was feeling so unfulfilled intellectually that I went off and got a Ph.D. Like, come on, I never wanted a PhD before I left; I just didn’t know how to challenge myself.”
“That is fair. I just think you need to consider the fact that you’d be working with you know who.”
“You can say his name, Emily. He’s not some dark lord; he’s just an idiot with an IQ of 187.” 
“Yeah, Yeah, look. I have to go, but we are not done with this conversation, okay? I’ll need a full PowerPoint presentation with all the pros and the cons.” 
“Yes, ma’am, I can do that. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”
You heard the click of her line going dead before there was a knock on your door. You quickly pressed play on your movie, letting one of your favorite rom-coms (When Harry Met Sally) play in the background as you scrounged around for where you had left your wallet. 
Clad in an oversized shirt you’ve had forever, plaid pajama shorts that were once part of a Christmas set, and your comfiest fuzzy socks, you slid over to the door once you had found your wallet. 
You opened the door. “How much…”
His eyes met yours, and you took a small step back. 
“You are not the pizza guy.” 
“No. I’m not.” 
His answer caused you to laugh a little bit, filling his chest with a warmth he hadn’t felt in over two years. 
“Can I–” He gestured into your house, and you moved to the side, allowing him to enter. 
“I, um….” You bit your lip and eyed him up and down. “As long as you’re okay with When Harry Met Sally playing in the background.”
“Time for the annual rewatch.” He smiled at you nervously, but a very small part of yourself enjoyed the fact that he remembered. 
You headed back towards the couch, casually trying to clean up as you went to give the impression that you were cleaner than you were. 
“Shoes off before you get to the couch.” You called over your shoulder. 
The door closed behind Spencer with a soft click. 
“Honey, you said you don’t want a first look.”
“We don’t have to look at each other—I don’t know, like a corner or something. I just..I-I-I.” 
JJ watched as your panic started to bubble over, and she took your hands in hers. “Want to call him first?” 
You nodded. “Y-Yeah, let’s try that.” 
JJ handed you your phone off the vanity, watching as you dialed the number, panicking even more when it wouldn’t connect—there was no service. 
Spencer had asked you to play chess with him that night, and you obliged. Something about falling into an old routine felt good; it felt right. A movie you chose in the background while playing chess against Spencer. Some things were always meant to be. The night was filled with laughs, small talk, and contentment–life feeling like it should. 
A familiarity shrouded you both, mocking the comfort you once used to feel.
When you won, he was a bit baffled. You had only beaten him a few times, and he was focusing on all of the outcomes. How could he not notice—
“You can’t win every game, Spence.” 
His heart lodged in his throat at the nickname, and he looked up at you, that goofy half smile on his lips. 
Lovestruck. He looked lovestruck. 
And then you exhaled. “We can’t avoid it forever. I know that’s why you came here in the first place.” 
He blinked away the love, replacing it with guilt, hurt, fragments of something you both had grieved in your own time. 
“Y-yeah. Let’s um, let’s talk about…”
You redialled the number only to be met with the same beeping as before, eyes wide as you looked at JJ. “There’s no service. JJ, I can’t–he won’t…” 
Emily handed you her phone–it was ringing, thank god. 
“Hey Emily, is everything okay?” 
“It’s me.” You said simply, but the wobble in your voice said everything he needed to hear.
“oh–Honey, talk to me. What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 
“I-I…” You swallowed your tears and looked over at your two friends—you gestured slightly, silently asking them to leave the room so you could talk to your future husband alone. They obliged, letting the door close. It was nice of them to pretend like they weren’t running over to see if they could eavesdrop from his room, but they were just met with Derek in the hall, who had also been booted out. 
“Is she okay?” 
Emily shook her head. “No idea. She was fine one moment, and she was about to burst the next. Like a complete shift of personality.” 
Derek sighed. “I’ve never seen him switch so quickly either. He was all nervous one minute, but the second he heard her voice….he almost sounded like Hotch doing damage control.” 
JJ laughed slightly at that, glancing back at the door hiding you behind it. 
“Do you think she’ll go through with it?” Derek whispered slowly, making sure no one was around to hear him. 
Emily fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist. “She’s terrified he’s not going to.” 
“Look, Spence, I get it. Shit happens. But you don’t know what it was like, coming home one day and you were laughing with someone else. You hadn’t laughed for months, almost a year, before then.”
“I know. I’m so–”
“Say sorry one more fucking time. Sorry isn’t explaining…or talking to me. I know you have trouble expressing whatever bullshit is going on in your head, but you have to try. It’s me, for fucks sake, Spence, And while I am willing to wait, I can only be so patient for so long with no actual explanation—” 
“I was terrified of you.”
“What…” 
Spencer stood up, pacing back and forth in front of your coffee table, trying to find the right words. “You were so far gone when Em died, and you had sunk into this pit of despair, and I was scared of watching you push down this path, destructive and–and; I didn’t know who you were, and I was so scared to watch you go down this path so I turned away instead.” 
“Spencer, you ran to JJ. You just left me here, alone. And then, when she comes back, you fucking threaten the fact that you were having Dilaudid cravings?”
“I think he’s even more mortified that she will back out on him. He knows everything she’s gone through. I mean–I love her, but she’s got major commitment issues.” 
JJ slapped his arm and glared at him. “And for good reason, Derek.” 
Derek grumbled an ‘ow,’ rubbing at his arm. “I’m not saying it wasn’t justified–I completely side with her on it--I’m just pointing out what we already know.” 
Spencer closed his eyes. “I don’t love you anymore.” 
Your heart leaped into your throat, or maybe it was vomit, you weren’t sure, but all you could do was stare at him from across the kitchen countertop. 
“Since this was my place first, uh…I can give you a couple of weeks to find a place, and I’ll even sleep on the couch…”
You hadn’t even spoken yet, shaking your head. “Stop. Spencer. What.” 
Your head was pounding, hands gripping onto the counter to try and steady yourself.”
“Sorry.” He whispered. He couldn’t even look at you. He was just staring at his hands, almost unsure about what he was saying. 
“Sorry?” You laughed, tears starting to track down your cheeks. “Spencer, this has to be a sick fucking joke..” 
He shook his head. 
Behind the door, You were just pacing back and forth, listening to his voice, trying to erase this memory from your mind and find a new one to replace it, barely listening to the man on the other end of the line. 
“Hey, listen to me. It’s going to be okay. If you want to call the whole thing off, everyone will understand. If it’s not right—.” 
“No.” You responded immediately. “I–I, I want to do this, I want to marry you…just…”
“You just needed some reassurance. I know.”
You nodded, not realizing he couldn’t hear you nod, but somehow, it felt like he did. 
“I love you.” 
You smiled, exhaling shakily. “Good.” 
His laugh bubbled through his lips, causing you to take another breath.
“I’ll see you out there?” 
“Can you just stay on the phone for another minute or so? I just need, like—”
You could hear him nod over the phone. “Anything you want.”
Somehow, you were back in that fucking elevator. Again. 
But this time, it felt like a homecoming rather than a curse you were trying to break. 
When the doors opened, you saw your family leaving little presents on your desk—flowers, balloons, chocolate, even cupcakes from your favorite bakery. They were all so busy setting it up that they didn’t notice as you walked up behind them, peering over their shoulders. 
“Looks good, guys.” 
“You think—” Derek did a double take and clutched his chest. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.” 
You laughed and smiled at him, dropping your bag onto your chair. “It looks wonderful. You guys didn’t have to do anything for me–”
“Actually, we did. How could we not? I mean! She’s home! She’s back solving crimes in sexy-looking outfits!” Garcia wrapped her arm around your shoulders, resting her head on yours. 
“I love it, guys, thank you.” 
JJ briskly walked past you all, giving you a brief smile, almost running up the stairs and into Hotch’s office. 
“Well, looks like you’re getting thrown right back into it.” Derek sighed. 
Hotch came out of his office and smiled at you before nodding at the others. “Wheels up in forty, everyone. I’ll brief you all on the plane.” 
“Good.” 
“Just breathe y/n. Okay? I’ll be the one at the end of the altar with the incredibly well-tailored suit and those flowers you like so much pinned to my chest.”
“You’re gonna cry.” You whispered jokingly, taking in a deeper breath than before. “I look so good in this dress. I actually was crying about it before I made Emily call you.” 
“It’s like you’re trying to kill me.”
Derek knocked on your door, leaning his ear up against it, trying to hear what you were saying. He called out your name, and after about a minute, you told him it was unlocked. 
“Can I come in?”
“If you want Derek, it is entirely up to you.” 
He opened the door, tears welling up the second he saw you. 
Hearing him enter, you faced him, smiling softly at him. 
All Derek could do was take you in for a second, unable to really think of what he was about to tell you. This felt a bit ridiculous since he was there when you picked out the dress, but watching you now, ready to actually wear it for its intended purpose, was a whole different ball game. 
“You look…..”
“Right.” You whispered, walking over and squeezing his hand. “I’m ready. Let’s do this thing before shit goes south.”
______________________________________________________________
“Y/n, You are the love of my life, and I could give you an eternal list of every single moment of my life where I felt nothing but complete and utter adoration for you. But then last week, you picked the movie you thought we should watch: a nineties rom-com, obviously, with big romantic gestures and a heroine who doesn’t need to be tamed. And those two inspired me to give you instead a list of the ten things I hate about you.” 
Spencer had gotten a good look at you for the first time in a long time. He had already felt guilty about the fact that he had Maeve and that you had broken up. But what he had failed to realize was the same thing Derek had–You were someone entirely different, a ghost of yourself. The guilt was gnawing through his stomach when he told Hotch what was going on, and he had begged Hotch to let you sit out, trying to save you from this, but clearly, Spencer couldn’t do anything right for you anymore. He hadn’t been able to in a very long time. Hotch had cleared his throat while Spencer shook his head. “I-I tried Hotch, I really didn’t want…”
He just nodded at Spencer. “I know, Reid, but you must have known there was no way this conversation would go any better than that.” 
Reid just nodded and stood up, going out into the bullpen, not missing the way all of their eyes snapped to him as Penelope dumped her broken mug into the trash. 
Before anyone could say anything, Hotch walked out of his office and looked at everyone. “As you all could have guessed, Agent Y/L/N will not be joining us on this case. I expect everyone in the conference room in ten.” with that, Hotch walked past Reid and down the stairs toward where he had assumed you had run off to. 
Reid just returned to his desk, sitting and staring at your now empty desk. Hotch had fulfilled your request, letting you move across the bullpen so you didn’t have to sit next to him anymore. 
Some part of the thought that you couldn’t even look at him anymore caused his gut to lurch, causing his hearing to burst for a moment. Maybe this was too fucked up. Perhaps he had been wrong. He thought he was doing the right thing by letting you go, not weighing you down with all his own bullshit, but he realized he had failed to pay attention. 
Spencer thought long and hard, trying to piece together everything he had thought about in the past couple of months when it came to you, and that’s when he realized it was every day. He thought about you every day. 
But he had ignored you. He had failed to notice as you crumbled to nothing in front of him. 
“Number ten is that I hate the way you fold laundry. It’s incredible how you manage to fold every single item in a completely different manner. It baffles me. One of the great mysteries in this world that we might never have the answer to.” 
“So you two spoke?”
You held up your finger as you finished the prosecco in your glass. Once you finished, casually, you picked up the bottle and poured yourself a second glass, only beginning to speak when the glass had been filled to your liking. 
“He came over to my apartment, Derek. I had already opened the door, and what was I going to say—”
“How about no?”
“It’s rude to interrupt Derek Morgan.” Penelope elbowed him and took a sip from her own glass. “But he’s right, Y/n. You could have said no and slammed the door in his face.” 
“But that’s not who I am. You know I’m a sucker for closure. You know I wanted to talk to him anyway. I just wasn’t expecting the discussion that ended up happening….”
Derek raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Do tell Princess.”
You shrugged and took another sip. “We talked about Maeve.”  
The looks you received were exactly what you had expected, only because it was how you felt about the conversation. 
“Number nine. I hate how you pick out what we will watch each week. You just skim through every single title on every platform until the one with the right ‘energy’ calls out to you. And they’re never the same. You manage to match a film to the night perfectly, and I hate how well you can pinpoint that about me. 
“Eight. I hate the way you drive. You manage to be the safest and most dangerous person on the road. There’s nothing more to that one. You terrify me.” 
“I cannot believe you, Spencer Reid. You have the audacity to come to my house, lose at chess, and then accuse me of being the reason our relationship ended!?”
“That’s not what I said.” His voice was desperate. “I’m not blaming anyone but myself, okay? I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I just—You were so–”
“I was so what, Spencer. What about me was just soooo fucking terrifying to you that you decided you didn’t want to propose to me anymore.” 
“That’s not fair.” 
Your jaw dropped. “You’re fucked in the head if you think the part that isn’t fair is me calling you out on that.” 
Spencer paced around, running his hands through his hair. He was going to wear a path in your carpet the way he was pacing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 
“Seven. I hate how captivating you are. Whenever you tell a story, there’s no use in getting any work done because all anyone can do is wait for the story to be finished. If there’s no ending–I’ve watched Morgan sulk at his desk until you returned from a meeting because you were running late and didn’t wrap up the end of the story for him. Something about the way you speak, the way you capture people’s attention, is one of the most dangerous weapons I’ve ever seen on the planet. 
“I hate—oh, sorry–Number six.” He smiled at you and squeezed your head. You were shaking slightly as you rapidly blinked away tears, trying to inhale and exhale through your nose. It wasn’t working. Every word this man said made you one second closer to jumping onto him and kissing him senseless. “I hate how smart you are. It’s ridiculous. You can argue so beautifully and eloquently that it makes anyone arguing against you look like a fucking idiot. You speak four fucking languages, making you invincible and even more aggravating since you’ve decided to start learning a fifth one. You have started to beat me every other game in chess, which is actually humiliating for me, and I can’t figure out how you’re doing it. You read everything under the sun and still manage to have a life, friends, and family. I don’t know anyone in the world who could compare to your intellect.”
“Five. I hate how you steal my chocolate-covered pretzels. I bought you a whole fucking cabinet’s worth, and somehow, mine still got eaten.” 
You watched him give you a bit of a stink eye for that one, causing you to kiss his hand lightly. “My apologies.”
“You don’t mean it, and you know it.” He grumbled, flipping his page so that he could keep reading. 
“I hate how beautiful you are. It’s distracting. I can’t work near you anymore because all I want to do is daydream about you. I want to watch you smile for the rest of my life if I can help it.” 
“Three. I hate how much you care. It terrifies me how much you care about other people. I have seen you at your best and your worst moments.” You squeezed his hand in reassurance. “I have seen the worst outcomes of cases we could ever imagine, or the best, and yet you put the same amount of effort and care into all of them. It’s infuriating because you put your life on the line constantly to be able to give people a chance, whether that be to save them from others or to save them from themselves. You are the most considerate person in the world, even to those who might not deserve it.” 
This was not a good case. 
It was never a ‘good case,’ but this one just sucked the absolute life out of you. You had been back for only a month, and it was going too well. You were on top of your game. You were better than ever—but you knew the other shoe would drop.
And it did. 
You were never a big fan of getting shot at, but you would prefer that rather than have to escape a burning building. It was one of your biggest fears, and here it was, being realized. 
You had managed to crawl down to the first floor before everything started to go black. He had sealed the windows. He had sprinkled broken glass along the stairs, causing you to rip open your legs and hands as you slid down the stairs. The more significant shards of glass shredding the back of your pants. It was fucking painful. But you had managed to make it to the kitchen. 
That’s when you saw the firefighters bursting through doors, trying to contain the fire surrounding you. You could feel the burn on your skin as they pulled you out of the building, blood dripping down your legs and hands. 
You must have been one fucked up sight for Hotch to drop everything he was doing and run over to you. But you wished he didn’t because the building behind you exploded. The flames must have hit the gas line, and the house came crashing down. 
You were thrown back from the force, causing you to land on your back. Nothing was broken, nothing was sprained, but adding road rash and hearing loss to your ever-growing list of injuries was not fun. 
Spencer and Hotch, who were shoved to the ground by the blast, scrambled over to you, where you were just lying on the ground, facing the sky, trying to breathe. 
Maybe they were yelling your name or just trying to speak to you, but your head buzzed with the remnants of the explosion. 
You watched as the sky above you filled with smoke and flickered with red hues. At some point, you saw Spencer come into your line of view. He was definitely mouthing your name. 
Just then, like a wave crashing over you again, your hearing came back. Overwhelming could barely describe the feeling of shock running through your body. Your eyes widened as tears sprung to your eyes, your lungs gasping for air, and your mind flooded with adrenaline, with panic. 
“Y/N. Hey. Listen to me. Hey.” Hotch had been trying to get you to sit up. He was going through his own internal panic attack—this scene was a little too close to NYC, to Kate. 
Ambulance sirens blared, and you could hear a beam crash down and spur on the fire—” It hurts. So. Bad.” You finally managed to whisper, still gasping for air. 
Reid wasn’t sure you were even registering that you were sobbing and that tears were racing down your cheeks. 
“Can you sit up?” 
“My hands.” You mumbled. “There-there was glass…so much…” 
You flinched as Hotch yelled for a gurney. 
“I need you to try and sit up, okay?” Spencer was next to you. He was on his hands and knees, slowly trying to gain your attention. There is a gentle touch on the arm here and a brush of your hair out of your eyes. He was just trying to give you peace, a breath amid everything going on.
“Spence.” You whined, flexing your hand, wincing when a tiny shard of glass shifted in your palm, causing even more pain. 
“I know.” He said to you, gently taking your hand and wincing as he saw the microscopic shards scattered across your palm. “I need you to sit up for me.” 
“Please don’t make me get up, Spence.” You whispered. 
Hotch had moved away from the both of you, trying to clear a path so two EMTs could reach you. 
“Once you sit up, I promise you won’t have to do anything else.” 
You closed your eyes and let out a cry. It felt so relieving to just let whatever tension you had left in your body. But the thought of not doing anything sounded even better, so you slowly made your way to a sitting position, leaning against Spencer’s chest as he kissed your head and carefully ran his hand up and down your arm. 
Spencer’s entire body relaxed into yours. He had never been more grateful that you could make it out of that building before…he didn’t want to think about what else would have happened. The two of you had just started talking again. You were hanging out. He would have never forgiven himself if he left things the way they were. 
It felt wrong for him to be grateful at how much you got hurt because all of your limbs were still intact, and you were still conscious, still breathing. But he was thankful as he held you on the pavement, in the middle of the road, while everyone ran around you both. 
You, on the other hand, were not happy to be sitting up. The adrenaline started to wear off, and your body was no longer buzzing. “Spence.” You whispered to him, trying to get his attention. You were nauseous, and the world was spinning. Everything was phasing in, and out of clarity, you could actually feel the earth rotating. 
“Spence.” This time, it was said with more urgency. And it caught his attention. “I need to lie back down.” 
“You can’t—”
“I’m gonna vomit.” 
“Shit shit shit, okay, nausea is usually a sign of a concussion, a really bad one, most likely in the red zone—”
“Spencer, please.” You mumbled, closing your eyes and slumping against him, trying your best to hold down whatever you felt slowly creeping up your throat. 
“I can’t let you lay back down.” He mumbled, turning you in his arms, prepping for whatever would come out. 
Luckily for both of you, the two EMTs and Hotch had made it back over, bucket in hand, because Hotch had told them you most likely had a concussion. And god bless that stupid bucket because it managed to save some of your dignity by not throwing up all over the street. The EMTs had checked you out, flashing that stupid fucking light in your eyes, looking at your hands and doing their best to pull out some of the larger chunks of glass, and then helping to get you onto a gurney, and eventually into an ambulance to be shipped off to the nearest hospital. 
Spencer was the only person you would allow to come with you in the ambulance. 
“Two. I hate how well you know me and can read me like an open book. I have never met someone who knew me in the same way you could. You know things about me before I could even fathom the possibilities. You have been there for me in some of the darkest times of my life, and I would not have survived if it wasn’t for you. You picked me off the ground countless times, more than I could ever repay you for.” 
“And last but not least. I hate how I can’t live without you. I hate that if you’re not in the same room as me, I can’t breathe. I hate how you manage to make my days filled with comfort, support, and love when sometimes I don’t deserve it. I hate when you go away to conferences, and I have to wake up to an empty bed, and the only thing that motivates me is the fact that I know you’ll text me as soon as you’re awake. I hate how you are the last person I want to see at night before I go to sleep. And I hate that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
You were fully crying, tears tracking down your cheeks, as you squeezed his hand tightly. You laughed slightly, trying to wipe away one of the stray tears, but he beat you to it, using his thumb to wipe away your tears gently. 
“Did you just quote When Harry Met Sally at me?” 
He smiled cheekily, handing the paper back to Derek, who put it in his pocket. “What else would I be able to quote at you? It was playing that night…” 
You shook your head, unable to stop the smile across your face. You heard him whisper, “I love you,” but it still made your heart ache. 
“Okay, Doctor Reid. Work your magic.” 
“You make it sound like I’m performing a spell or something. I’m literally just fixing your computer.” 
You snorted and shrugged. “Isn’t it you who always said that physics and magic are basically the same thing.”
“Okay, yes, but—”
“And computer science is a science, right?” 
Spencer just rolled his eyes, realizing he would not win this argument, and began to futz with your desktop. 
It had crashed on you while you were in the middle of a report. At home. In your pajamas. 
This was a practice that was familiar to Spencer. Whenever you were working on something that was not classified or very sensitive information, you had gotten special clearance from Hotch to bring it home. So Spencer has seen you write up preliminary profiles for cases around the country in nothing but your pajamas many times. 
Except he hasn’t seen you in just pajama shorts and a tank top since, well. 
He was supposed to be focusing on the desktop, and that is what he is going to do. 
“I really appreciate you coming over at like 10 pm, Spence. I really do. I’m sure you were busy, so I really appreciate it.”
He shook his head and looked over his shoulder at you. “It was no trouble, really. Besides.” He turned back to the screen with a cheeky grin across his face. “I know how you get when something breaks.” 
Your jaw dropped slightly, and you leaned against the kitchen counter. “Spencer. Are you…flirting with me…”
His face turned slightly red as he quickly faced the computer screen again. “And so what if I am,” he mumbled, focusing on the task at hand. He wasn’t sure how you managed to freeze your computer this badly, but he was determined to work it out. 
You shrugged and checked your phone, looking at the text from Emily that you had chosen to ignore. Maybe she told you not to ask Spencer over. Maybe she had warned against moving too quickly with anything. 
But you were a grown adult, you could make your own choices. You could—
“It’s, uh, it’s all fixed for you.” Spencer had stood up and was nervously fiddling with his hands. He hasn’t been like this towards you since you had both started dating over seven years ago. 
You bit your lip and casually turned your phone on DnD. 
“Thanks, Spence. I really appreciate it.” 
He nodded, doing his best to stop eying you up and down. 
The two of you stood there, unsure of how to continue on with one another. 
The tension was thick, almost like a humidity in the air that covered your skin and ruined your hair, just by stepping into it. 
Spencer eventually broke eye contact and wiped his hands on his pants. “Well, I’m going to uh…Have a good night.” He quickly grabbed his bag from the counter and shut the door behind him. 
Your hands dragged down your face as you sighed and shook your head. Maybe it was for the best that you two just stayed friends. Maybe it was for the best that you two never were in a relationship again. You remembered what happened last time. Maybe you should just finish the report and go to bed. Or maybe you should run after him. It wouldn’t be that embarrassing, considering he was staring back at you, right? 
Who said you didn’t deserve to make a bad decision every now and again. 
You grabbed your keys and slid on your slippers, not even bothering to grab a coat. You opened the door and came face to face with an out-of-breath Spencer just about to knock on your door. You took one look at each other. 
And that’s when he reached down and brought your lips to his. 
Emily reached over and gently handed you your vows.
“Fuck fuck fuck.” You whispered, causing everyone around you to laugh softly at you, desperately trying to stop crying. 
“I said I was going to try not to cry during his, and that obviously was not the case.” You slowly exhaled your lips, taking his hand and smiling up at him.
“Hey.” You whispered, causing him to whisper it back to you. “So–um. I wrote my vows a long time ago. Like, a while back. And I was looking for them and almost couldn’t find them. But I remembered that I had written them in that really small brown, leather journal thing that you got me for one of my birthdays that I kept losing because I always put it down and never remembered where.” 
The small, collected group laughed together, watching you turn the page in that small brown leather journal. 
“I didn’t know where I wanted to start when writing my vows. I knew how I wanted it to end, though. I’ve always known how I wanted my life to end and everything to go. So that’s what I did. I started at my endgame and worked my way backward. But shit happens, and life never goes according to plan. Never.” 
He squeezed your hand. 
Those weeks after were fucking brutal for you. 
Relaxing was something you were never fantastic at, so having to take two weeks off to recover from your concussion, burns, cuts, and bruises was excruciating. 
Maybe it would have been worse if a certain someone wasn’t basically living in your apartment with you, doing anything and everything to be there for you. 
You woke up to freshly brewed coffee, sometimes breakfast if he wasn’t away on a case. Sometimes, he’d be home in time to make you both dinner. It felt oddly domestic for you, reminding you of before Maeve, before everything that had gone down over the phone. 
Once the two weeks were over, he might have visited to check up on you. There would be nights where he would stay over just in case your head or back started to hurt again. It took more convincing for Spencer to let you go back to work than it did for your actual neurologist. 
“Need I remind you I’m a doctor too, Spencer. I’m going back to work on Monday, meaning two over one, majority rules.” 
Spencer scoffed and crossed his arms. “The lights will cause headaches, and staring at screens and files will only add to that. It’s a bad idea, y/n. Especially if we have to go somewhere, traveling across the country in a plane. You might as well knock yourself out because the air pressure would kill your head and ear drums.” 
“Always the one for dramatics, aren’t we.”
Spencer rolled his eyes. “I’m not being dramatic. I just care about your well-being, apparently more than you do—”
“Spence.”
“What.”
You kissed him softly. Just to shut him up. There were no ulterior motives. None. 
He hummed, hands sliding around your waist, keeping you close to him as you broke the kiss. 
That was another development you were keeping under wraps. The two of you might have decided to give it another shot. It had been over a month since you rejoined the BAU, and even before you got severely injured, Spencer had been doing everything he could to apologize. Whether that be his apologies or through his actions, he was stepping up. 
But both of you had yet to outright tell the others. Emily knew something was going on, especially when you showed up to work in the same outfit two days in a row, but she had assumed you had seen someone else, not your ex. 
You didn’t mind, though, when he took such good care of you when he bought you fresh flowers every week, when he kissed you past the point of breathing when he would—
“What are you thinking about?” Spencer whispered, interrupting whatever spiral you had started.
“What book I should read next.” 
“Liar.” He squeezed your sides, laughing softly and kissing you again. 
“There’s not much I can say about how life doesn’t go as planned since everyone here with us understands and knows how quickly life changes. But I realized that I need to have you by my side regardless of how it changes. I don’t want to be back in a place where I’m not with you because it just didn’t make any sense.” 
“My vows are short because I would never make it through them if they were any longer.” 
This caused another ripple of laughter throughout your friends, giving your fiancé a moment to wipe away another stray tear on your cheek. 
“All of this to say.” You cleared your throat, but it didn’t stop the tears from clouding your vision. “Shit. Give me a second.” 
Emily gave you a tissue, which you used to wipe under your eyes. You shook your hands slightly, trying to calm yourself down and shake out the rest of the emotions so that you could at least finish saying your vows. 
“Having begun to love you, I love you forever—in all changes, in all disgraces, because you are yourself.”
Spencer beamed joyfully, realizing you followed his same path, quoting something you knew the other loved. 
And suddenly, the stars aligned. A soft breeze picked up, and the world was quiet. 
Everything was alright. Everything was okay. 
And for that beautiful, brief moment, you had everything you could have ever asked for, and there was nothing you would have changed, nothing in the whole world that was worth the love and happiness you felt in this moment, beaming at Spencer as you both said
I do. 
“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
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Taglist: @gubzgirl @onlyspence @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @mynameisnotokay @kalulakunundrum @academiareid @lilsunshine1092 @brilliantreid @shqwqrma @cluelessteam @lockwoods-coat-and-reids-vests @hereforfun22-blog @yoursarahg @r-3dlips @lilrios-world @hereforfun22-blog @mega-kittyglitter-1
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that-basic-simp · 28 days
Text
Soft Kisses
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Mizu X Fem!Reader CW: N/A WC: 1.0k+ A/N: Hope y'all like a sh!t ton of fluff!
Blinking my eyes open, I found a rare sight before me. Mizu. Asleep. Peacefully. Usually she'd wake up from a nightmare or something would cause her to stir awake, preventing her from falling back asleep. In turn, it would wake me up, getting me an early start to the day. She'd always feel bad about waking me up earlier than I'd like to, but I didn't mind. Especially if she woke up from a nightmare. She went on for so long without getting comfort and whenever I offered it for the first time, she didn't understand it. She left and didn't come back until sundown. It worried me, but after each time I helped her calm down, she finally understood what comfort felt like. Unconditional love and comfort.
Finding her asleep put a smile on my face. I carefully reached over and brushed a few strands of hair away from her face. Her long, black hair that didn't always look black. There were some times it looked brown to where I questioned what color it was. Maybe it turned black in the summer and brown in the winter. Or vice versa. It was something of the sorts.
The brushing of my finger pad over her skin caused her to blink her eyes open. I smiled wider as I was met with those alluring blue eyes of hers. The one thing she hated about herself, but one of many things that made me love her.
"Morning, Mizu."
A small smile crept on her lips as she reached up, taking my hand, "Morning."
Oh that raspy morning voice. I can't tell if it was her natural morning voice or the one she uses to disguise herself. Either way, it sent a chill up my spine, causing the hairs at the back of my neck to stand up.
"Anything planned for today?"
"Unless Taigen comes unprompted again, no. Other than just spending another lovely day with you at my side."
"Oh, Mizu," I playfully pushed her.
She was never one to be flirty or romantic, not at the beginning, anyway. It was hard for her to show love, but she knew I understood it took her a while. Her past relationship wasn't the best on her, so when we started ours together, it was a long road of being cautious with her. She was cautious around me as well, but I had to know her triggers and what set her off. And they were very easy to know. But the one thing that didn't trigger her was whenever I complimented her eyes. At times, I'd find her standing there, confused on why I said that. She had to process that someone in this world actually enjoyed looking at her eyes. And didn't scrutinize her for them. Didn't call her names that weren't true. That someone was actually capable of loving that part of her that she despises.
"I'm being honest," she said.
"I know you are," I said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Some blush crawled over her cheeks as I did that. Another thing about Mizu: she's easily flustered. Especially when I show her any form of affection aside from holding her hand. And we weren't even out in public. If I were to kiss her cheek whenever we were strolling around a village, her red nose would turn even more red and her cheeks would turn a light pink. It was easily noticeable if you were looking right at her, but if you were just walking by, you'd think it was the cold getting to her. But it wouldn't be the excuse for the spring and summer. She'd blame it on allergies in the spring and the heat in the summer.
"Can we stay like this for a little longer?" Mizu asked.
"Of course, Mizu. You don't need to ask to stay with me."
"I-I just feel like I need to. In case you had something planned for today."
"Other than spending my day with you, I didn't have anything planned."
"Good," she mumbled, pulling me closer to her, burying her face in the crook of my neck.
I smiled and wrapped my arms around her, brushing at the long strands of hair. I rested my head on top of hers, holding her tightly as she would place light and soft kisses to my neck. I giggled quietly as she did that, which led her to pull away and look at me.
"Is something wrong?" she asked.
"Nope," I said, cupping her cheeks, pulling her towards me.
"Why are you staring?"
"I can't admire you?"
She shrugged, "Never really had someone do that."
"I'll be the first."
"If you'll be the last, too," Mizu smiled.
"Of course, Mizu."
I leaned towards her, placing a gentle kiss to her nose, both of her cheeks, her forehead, and finishing it off, I placed one to her lips. Pulling away after a few moments, Mizu smiled at me once more, her eyes appearing to be brighter than their darker shades whenever she's angry or pissed off. I loved that about her eyes, too, how different they can look depending on what mood she is in. The one where she wants revenge is the most horrifying, yet, all the more beautiful.
The pad of my thumb caressed the skin underneath her eye, as I stared into them, longing for this moment to last forever and ever. To return the favor, Mizu leaned towards me and pressed a kiss to my forehead, to my cheeks, and along my jawline she could reach before leaving one on my lips behind.
How could such a woman who is filled with revenge and hate be so kind and gentle? Soft one minute, a raging storm the next. I don't know how she did it. It amazed me. It made me want to know more about her, even though I knew every little detail about her. But there are still things she keeps in the dark from me, which I don't mind. They're mostly the darkest thoughts she has ever experienced. A different side of her that she never wants anyone to see, not even me. A part of her she wants to bury deep within herself in the hopes of being forgotten.
That aside, I pulled her towards me, this time, being the one to bury my face in the crook of her neck. I let out a sigh as I took in her warmth, despite her being one that lacks a lot of it with how skinny and somewhat malnourished she was. That we were working on, but I can't force her to eat if she doesn't want to.
"I love you, Mizu."
"I love you, too, Y/N."
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