#i just focus on evil people too much to the point it makes me attack an okay concepts

[katyspersonal]

Also I kind of need to get something off my chest regarding queer headcanons and alike because it’s been bothering me (and I need to talk about something light instead, considering... my current life lol)

I used to feel kinda attacked when people put lesbian headcanon on female characters that were attracted to a man in canon, but I feel like I allowed intention they give off to get to me, because most people /I’ve/ personally seen doing this are like, legitimate man-haters, and just hate attraction to men as a concept, and believe lesbian love is always healthy and hetero love is always man abusing a woman. But like... not only surely not everyone is like this, but also objectively this concept is not bad?

But like, it is actually even simpler? Being LGBTQ+ is supposed to be about continuous self-discovery? Like you coulda been bi before and then find you changed into gay, you coulda been asexual but then at some point in life you started feeling sexual attraction, also you can identify as different gender later in life. So why it should be solid in fiction? Art imitates life, so characters can change over time too like people. It is just not fixed in time and can change back and forth, and we already have it hard enough feeling like we “”“betrayed”““ our “““community”““ if our feelings or identity change.

Besides, why only have single interpretation as a ‘brand’ one should uphold for the rest of their life? I talk a lot about how it is absurd that once someone picks a queer headcanon for a character, it is as if they sign a ‘contract’ and are not allowed to ever retract this when changing opinion over time exist? My friend also admitted to me she views a female character she likes as bi or lesbian depending on what version she feels in the mood for at the time, and that’s valid. I myself have my bi feels swing from ‘wow I must actually be a lesbian and all my crushes on men were wishful thinking??’ and ‘wow my attraction to men is more intense, could I be a confused het??’

And there are characters who are so fake and shallow in seeking someone of opposite gender to date that it feels like comphet? (Makes me think of Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls that clearly just wanted a boy just to have a boy and “crushed” on every guy, unlike Dipper who had more deep and legit crush on a girl. Yet the moment Gideon (a cute and funny and rich and popular boy, well, that was his exterior, remember) approached her with serious intent, she back-pedalled? She always felt for me like either a lesbian or aro who just grew obsessed with idea of finding a cool boyfriend because her femininity is over the roof, and a girl ‘gotta’ have boyfriend, right...? right?..)

Like, in either case I make the same mistake over and over and don’t seem to learn - I attack the objectively harmless, even valid concept, just because I let people who used it for hate and spite get to me. Just better to let this go, I guess.

#personal #fandomry rambles #i know it doesn't feel like very important topic probably but like #for someone who says 'people can change' and 'you don't have to choose only one' a lot i've commited hypocricy #i just focus on evil people too much to the point it makes me attack an okay concepts #when something objectively being fine should be a deal-breaker + i might hurt people who are good with this attitude someday

[kaluxsims]

If things were better, I could be all "Happy Pride!" here, but Pride Month is tough this year. I'm not happy. I'm sad, scared, and angry. Right-wing American politicians are doing everything they can to endanger trans people. The main focus of their attacks is trans kids. There are all kinds of lies being spread about what it means for children to be transgender and what gender affirming care for them looks like. Like all children, trans kids are figuring themselves out. Supportive, compassionate parents understand this and let them dress how they want. That's what's at the heart of my first Pride Month post this year.

Today's download lets ALL children wear ALL EAxis children's clothes. I did this to go along with all of my child CC being CU from now on. (Well, from a month or two ago on.) I have more to say about real life trans kids, so please read on after the download.

It's very simple. All EAxis kids clothes are now unisex. Many of them should have been from the start. What's masculine about a dark red Western shirt? And why can't a boy wear pink if he likes it? All kids should be allowed to express themselves how they like.

There's no swatch here, so have some Body Shop previews:

There are similar mods out there, but mine doesn't require any special installation (just put it in Downloads) and there's an All-In-One option if you have UC or all EP's and SP's. I got so much help from @goingsimcrazy and @potentialfate-sims while I was working on this. Thanks again, both of you!!

Note: DO NOT USE THIS IF YOU USE DEFAULT REPLACEMENTS THAT CHANGE THE MESH. It works fine with replacements that only change the texture.

'Nother note: Several EP's don't add any children's clothes, so there isn't a package for those EP's in the pick-n-choose version. Nothing's missing except for the xmas elf costumes, because...I hate them. Sorry. They're mostly unisex already, I think. I have hiders for them in my game.

Download:

UC/All-In-One: SFS or MediaFire

Pick & Choose: SFS or MediaFire

So back to my rant about trans kids...

Anti-trans propaganda will try to tell you that evil queers are out to convert your kids. That's a lie. We don't want to make cis kids trans. We want trans kids to live to be trans adults. You can't make a cis kid trans any more than you can make a trans kid cis. Kids are who they are. I was once a femmy little boy in an AFAB body, roughhousing in a princess dress and happier playing with boys than girls most of the time. My parents, and everyone else, saw it and called me a tomboy...despite the princess dress. I'm very lucky to have had parents who let me express myself and didn't care if I ran around in the woods, as long as I took my tights off first. Trying to suppress or change kids just makes them miserable, and sometimes miserable kids die. It breaks my heart that there are parents who would rather have a dead child than a trans child.

If I could get one message to everyone this month, and have it sink in, it would be that NO ONE is doing gender confirming surgery on children. (Unless they're intersex and get mutilated without consent, in the name of conformity.) Even teens, who may be on puberty blockers or other hormones, don't have access to gender affirming surgeries. In America, it takes years and lots of money to have these surgeries. It's not something that's done lightly or on a whim.

That's an aspect of anti-trans rhetoric that bugs me deeply, "What if it's just a phase?" It almost never is. Gender affirming surgeries have some of the highest patient satisfaction ratings of any surgery. Higher than hip replacement and many other completely accepted surgeries.

Surgery is, again, beside the point when we're talking about trans kids. Say a nine year old realizes they're trans. All that changes is their clothes and hairstyle, and maybe their name. As they get a little older, they might be put on puberty blockers. Puberty blockers were developed for cisgender children who start puberty too soon. All these medications do is delay it. Once they're stopped, puberty starts back up. If the child changes their mind, it's as simple as not taking the blockers anymore.

A related truth is that trans people aren't the only ones who get gender affirming care. A cis woman who gets breast implants and a cis man taking testosterone for "low T" are both receiving gender affirming care. They don't face the stigma or roadblocks that a trans woman getting breast implants or a trans man taking testosterone face. I don't hear about American politicians trying to outlaw Viagra or Brazilian butt lifts or any of the other things cis people are allowed to do to feel "more like a woman" or "more like a man". Why should it be different for trans people?

I'll try not to go off on a tangent about how transitioning while young leads to "passing" (looking cisgender) more easily, but it does. And that can mean safety and acceptance. Passing shouldn't matter, but it often does. Forcing a young person, especially a trans girl, to go through puberty twice is cruel and potentially dangerous.

Going back to my personal experience for a moment, the idea of female puberty and "becoming a woman" horrified me as a kid. If I'd been offered the option of puberty blockers, I'd probably have taken them. I started developing breasts when I was nine and was forced to wear bras when I was ten. My adolescent and teen years were pretty horrible overall, and gender issues were part of that. I had the "not like the other girls" feeling, but knew by then that I wasn't 100% boy either. Maybe that would have been different if I hadn't gone through puberty with estrogen. I think sometimes about the man I might have been if I was younger and grew up in a world with more trans awareness. I had no idea about genders beyond the binary back then, but I recognized that there was something boy-ish about me. My friends, family, and other people saw it too. I was who I was, who I am. I'm so very lucky that my parents didn't try to force me to be girlier. Those years were hard enough.

Childhood is hard, and repressive, oppressive adults make it so much harder. I hope all the trans kids out there either have support at home or find it where they can. I wish we lived in a world where we could all just accept each other and live our lives. I want everyone to be safe and feel loved.

I could go on and on about various trans issues, but I think I've made my points about trans kids. Respect and protect them. They're valid and they deserve to grow up to be who they know they are.

[I have zero tolerance for transphobia. I will block and report anyone who replies to this with anything anti-trans.]

#sims 2 pride #trans sims #ts2cc #sims 2 download #sims 2 clothes #sims2cc

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

If you could rewrite the paw patrol movie and give more characters screen time and make it as in where Chase doesn't fully get over his fears how would you all do it

Despite being a great movie YOU GET IT, YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH THAT MOVIE, THANKS FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY, I love writing stuff so I just hope it'll be to your liking too XD

Under the cut for more than obvious reasons- very VEEEERY LONG post ahead. Don't say I didn't warn you. Let's GO.

There's not many things I'd change by the beginning of the movie to be honest. Even the short talk Ryder had with Chase to convince him to go with them to Adventure City was okay enough for me. Plus it shows just how much Chase puts his trust in Ryder, above his fears and trauma, which is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT later down the road. Also, we did get to see Chase was uncomfortable upon arrival, which is important as well. Slowly, it gave way to curiosity and wonder, thanks to seeing their new headquarters. I would ignore my fears too if it meant I'd get to go into such a cool place and be allowed to call it my home far from home.

The things I would possibly change... Maybe Mayor Humdinger. There was something REALLY OFF about him in this movie. I mean, it's not THAT MUCH DIFFERENT from the show, but I feel he went a bit crazier than usual on his ideas. I can't put my finger on it... He seemed more like a bad guy for the sake of being evil, and not like someone who came from a sad town and just wishes for recognition and praise.

Now there are four main points about the pups I'd probably have worked a bit differently: Chase, Marshall, Zuma and Skye.

First, let's go about Chase.

I agree his panic attacks were greatly addressed and handled. There was no exaggeration, there was no "let's make it seem way bigger/impressive than it is" kind of thing. Some shows or movies, when going about a character panicking, like to make it look SO DEEP, with so many thoughts crossing their mind, and so many scenarios, and things looking more threatening or bigger and-- most times it's nowhere near like that at all. That would be more like an anxiety attack, actually. For panic attacks, there's nearly no thoughts at all, we don't process what's happening. It can be a little different for everyone, given we're all not the same people, but I can say by personal experience, when I had panic attacks, I literally BLANKED. All I can remember is my body tensing so hard I was unable to move, so I just cowered in my chair, my eyes were darting everywhere totally unable to focus and both my head and my chest felt like they could explode any second. I stayed like that until I could hear my father talking to me and taking me away from the place where I was, taking me back home to my bed. That was almost exactly how they made it in the movie: Chase tensed, froze, was unable to act, and then he cowered away, closing his eyes and hyperventilating until he heard Skye talking to him and then she took him away from that place.

As for his trauma, though... At the beginning, yes. It was nicely addressed too. From all we've seen in the show, Chase tends to literally blindly follow through with Ryder's orders, no matter what. That pup has in Ryder not only a leader, but also a best friend he would go through hell and beyond for. He would do ANYTHING for Ryder. And so, he puts his trust in Ryder once more and accepts the fate of being taken with them to Adventure City, despite his own wish of not setting a paw in that place ever again in his life. Because he trusts Ryder more than himself. And when he felt his trust was broken, Chase was devastated. We know that was not the case - while Chase felt like Ryder was benching him because he was unable to act (for being scared/a failure), Ryder was actually benching him because he was worried about Chase's mental health. He KNEW Chase was panicking badly, what Chase had to go through in that very city was traumatic, and Ryder KNEW all that. But Chase thought Ryder didn't trust him, so he ran away.

Everything handled pretty okay up to this point. And then, there's the one thing I'd change about Chase in this movie:

Later down the road, they (probably unintentionally/mostly due to the movie timing) made it look like Chase was able to just overcome his trauma with that city with just some small talks- I'm not saying those talks were NOT important, ON THE CONTRARY, they were VERY WELL DONE AS WELL. The issue is just the simple fact that these kinda things don't go away SO FAST. Of course, we needed him to be able to literally jump into action because the movie needed to end XD But still... He didn't need to do that ALONE either.

What I would change is literally THAT. Chase didn't need to go rescue Ryder ALONE, especially when he KNEW he could end up freezing in panic. He's still in Adventure City, he's still pretty much EVEN MORE TRAUMATIZED. He wanted to prove a point, fine. He wanted to prove that he is able, to prove that he is a hero like everyone believes him to be. He wanted to prove he CAN BE TRUSTED. But he didn't need to do the rescue ALONE to prove that.

Personally, I think the scene when Chase rescues Ryder could/would have gone differently if the other pups would have joined him - for example, we probably wouldn't have that dramatic leap of faith, sure. That works when the character is alone or carrying someone else. Not in a group. But can you imagine if Chase's first thing was to contact the other pups to let them know the tower collapsed with Ryder still inside it? They all would go there and they would work TOGETHER as the team they are, to reach for Ryder, rescue him and successfully bring him back down to ground level, safe and sound. And they would all support Chase as they do so. Chase doesn't need to deal with his trauma alone, he doesn't need to fight his fears alone. He's got his team, his friends, his family with him. In my opinion, they should have worked together to rescue Ryder and the impact of the "you don't need to deal with your fears alone" message would be more special than "overcome your fears on your own".

Now, about Marshall.

I actually liked the fact Marshall was the one taking over whenever Chase was unable to act for one reason or another. It literally makes sense, not because they're close friends/best friends or whatever, it's literally because of their jobs. Cops, firefighters and paramedics (I know he's an EMT, shush, let me generalize the thing here) are the jobs among all the pups' jobs that ARE to deal with crowds, to deal with people more directly during rescues. They're the ones to talk to people, they're the ones to give instructions, ANYWHERE, anytime. They are the authorities there. So, whenever Chase is unavailable, Marshall is the logic choice to take over and I'm glad they did so.

What I would change, would be two small things: I'd give him some time WITH CHASE, and our old fandom beloved main complaint, I'd let his clumsiness show more.

Marshall should have had a talk with Chase at some point- any point at all. The show portrayed these two as best friends in the beginning, they always did things together, be it for work or for play time. Marshall should have been there for Chase too, and I'd do that after that first incident when Marshall had to go put out the fires and make sure Chase wouldn't get burned while he was lowered back to ground level. Y'know when Chase was unable to sleep and went to the main room to look out to the city in the middle of the night? That could have been a good moment for that, maybe right after the song played.

As for Marshall's clumsiness, I don't have much to say. It was badly portrayed, as in he was clumsy in a way that it wasn't HIS clumsy way- any of the other pups could have been put in his place and be just as clumsy. I'd give him at least two scenes where he would "be himself" in a way we'd be like "YEP, that's our Marshall!" I don't have specific ideas right now but I could think of some, given some time.

Surprisingly, I wouldn't change much about Zuma.

When I saw complaints about his lack of screentime in the movie, I honestly thought it would be worse. Like my father commented on my post with his reactions to the movie, to take Zuma - a pup specialized in WATER RESCUES - to a big city, it's SO NOT his "natural habitat". Zuma is literally a fish out of water there. I wasn't expecting him to have any water-related rescue AT ALL, maybe he'd just do a regular ground rescue. To have him go in the sewer/river canal to rescue that car was legit a pleasing surprise for me.

But then, why is he in this post, Lary?

Simple: All of Zuma's moments of "important" screentime in this movie only happened because Liberty was there with him. I feel like he was the one riding on her for screentime, rather than the other way around, which is kinda disturbing as he IS one of the main six and she's a literal newbie there.

Pulling her little cart;

Later when they were being deployed, Liberty was there watching as they all launched and was the most excited to see Zuma's hovercraft being deployed (ngl I'd be as excited as her, seeing a hovercraft up close like that IS AN EXPERIENCE);

And then, they worked together to rescue the family from the car which fell in the water. This last one is important: Zuma wouldn't have been as successful with this rescue if he didn't have someone else to sail his raft down the stream following his sub. And who was it? Liberty. Even with the convenience, they paired those two so both could have screentime at all.

So I'd find another way to give Zuma screentime without relying it on pairing him with Liberty at least once. I'd probably make it happen for the group rescue on Ryder. He could have some moment there, as well as all the others.

And last but not least, there's something about Skye that bothered me a bit.

It's not about her character or anything like that- she was alright for the entire movie, really. The one thing that bothered me wasn't her, but something that happened WITH/BECAUSE OF her. Namely, the clouds dispersing instantly after she dive-bombed the shit out of that cloud-sucker machine.

I'm sorry but they spent the whole movie building up the tension of that machine getting too stuffed with clouds, the density going nuts, and then the machine releases the clouds creating a huge storm... Only for all of them to magically DISAPPEAR once the machine is no more? They were already OUTSIDE of the machine. Maybe the storm itself would stop, nice, but that thing was literally a high pressure pan ready to explode and Skye did just that. She exploded the high pressure pan. It should've released ALL THE CLOUDS, maybe the air displacement would PUSH THEM all over and beyond the city, and only then the winds would take them away, but that wouldn't happen instantly. For fucks sake Skye literally exploded a ticking high pressure bomb LMAO let it have SOME effects! Give us some sky spectacle of clouds going all over, being pushed away and only then slowly opening up the sky once more.

So, yeah, these are the things I'd change in the first Paw Patrol movie. Nothing too drastic really, just small but important details, the only BIG change would be how Chase got to deal with his trauma in the end.

Whether he and/or Ryder like it or not, that city will ALWAYS bring Chase the memories of the worst times of his life - being abandoned as a baby, all alone, later also the memories of his panic attacks and the memories of the panic he must've felt once he saw the tower collapsing knowing Ryder was still in there - even if it ALSO brings now the memories of the best thing that ever happened to him: Being found and rescued by Ryder. We could've added now the good memory of Chase finding out he's not alone with his fears, finding out he doesn't have to suffer alone, finding out his family will always back him up no matter what, just like Ryder said, that's why they're a team, to support and back each others up in their times of need.

I swear it took me A WHOLE DAY typing this (in between teaching classes). You guys love to make me work my brain out, huh? Hope you'll like it, these are my points of view in this whole thing, my PERSONAL ideas. If you have different ideas, NICE! If you agree with mine, NICE TOO! Everyone thinks differently and let's go XD I need some food now, need to go make my dinner after teaching this night's class, see ya XD

#Make me write a whole book on it why won't you LMFAOOOOO #ONCE I START TYPING THERE'S NO STOPPING OMG #Paw Patrol #Paw Patrol The Movie #Chase #Marshall #Zuma #Skye #Paw Patrol Chase #Paw Patrol Marshall #Paw Patrol Zuma #Paw Patrol Skye

[tokillamockingbird427]

If there was a Ghosts reboot today, what do you think would be changed? Obviously there would be graphics/programming improvements; I’m thinking more about keeping Logan as a silent protagonist/more sympathetic Federation/rewriting history/etc.

-🃏

I agree with you that they'd do graphical improvements and that, but I'm not exactly sure what they would do. I have more ideas for what would be fun for them to do, which range from what I consider fairly realistic to ridiculous.

This is going to get long. "Read More" of mercy upon ye.

Like, I think it would be cool if they added more moments to use Riley. We got so few missions with the boy! I'd love to see more of him. In combat or even on a tracking mission or similar. And I really enjoyed the mechanic of being able to sic him on people.

Along those lines, I think it would be interesting if you could also command the human Ai. Not quite giving orders because you (As Logan) aren't in charge, but just having them cooperate with you like the team you are. "Enemies over there!" kinda thing, so you can guide their attention towards areas you wanna push. Would make playing on harder difficulties not only easier but more satisfying IMO.

More emphasis on the STEALTH part of the Ghosts would also be nice. It does get shown in the game, like during "End of the Line" and especially during "The Hunted" but at some point you always go loud. A mission where you go in and get out without anyone knowing you were there would be awesome.

On the topic of stealth, a mechanic similar to the Assassins creed games where the Enemy Ai slowly catch on that you're there and THEN attack if you suck at sneaking would be interesting. But I wouldn't like it as much if they relaxed entirely and gave the all clear (after a full alert) just because Logan hid in a patch of grass for five seconds. (Or a closet.)

Maybe a dumb idea that wouldn't be executed well but a wave mode which takes place in the hospital Sand Viper took place in (So it's like you're one of the Proto-Ghosts.) where you just fight to see how long you can go would be fun. Extinction still being there would be sick too, just add the wave mode and don't replace the prior.

Story wise, because I've been speaking more mechanics/gameplay shit, I'd enjoy more sibling moments between Logan and Hesh. The moment in the start of Brave New World where Hesh lets Logan sleep in is CRUMBS and I want/need more of that. Aside from them cooperating in field I want to see Hesh worry about Logan and the same in reverse. Have them check on each other. Have them attached at the hip. Have both of them ready to ride or die!

Along the same lines (Again.) more dad moments from Elias. The reason I want this is rather evil... I want him to be so likable it genuinely breaks peoples hearts and traumatizes them when he dies. It hurts already because I get attached to pixels easily but like. I haven't cried. Make me cry.

An actual funeral scene for Elias that isn't Hesh narrating over a dramatic visual please. I love Hesh's tendency for dramatic narration (Which he got from Elias) but I have a limit. Even if it's also a cut scene and not entirely intractable, I think it'd add some more oomph to the clear drama/angst they wanted from Elias's death.

Make Rorke's intelligence more obvious. I feel like it's a part of him that gets missed because people tend to focus on his cruelness and strength but his intelligence is what makes him a real threat. Through the game he is constantly a step ahead, which is obvious in some pats, but less so in others. (Obvious: Federation Day. Less obvious: Birds of Prey/The Hunted. Non obvious: Into the Deep. In all those missions he knew the Ghosts were going to be there and had contingencies. The only time the Ghosts get ahead of Rorke is when Logan and Hesh storm the train. Which I thinks speaks to their skill and his unfamiliarity with them.)

Following the above, I think it'd be neat to have Logan match Rorke in intellect. The sneaky crafty kind of intelligence that'll get you like a knife in the back. Would also be a good way to make said intelligence obvious, if Logan is the one to point it out. The reason he even knows it's there is because he recognizes it. It's familiar.

Give Logan some speaking lines. It's fine if he's still a majority quiet and prefers to let Hesh be his voice but just a few... Let the guy have some agency. And you do have to admit the era of silent COD protagonists is being phased out or is over. A relic from a bygone era...

More of Hesh being a fucking menace, please. Please please please. Begging on my knees. Him going "Checkmate" was the coldest shit ever, and he SCARED/SURPRISED Rorke doing that. I need more of it. (Another example: He just smacks the shit out of a Fed in the Luxor WITH A GUN rather than using it to shoot the guy. Menace behavior.)

Give Logan the ability to use his throwing knife skills more. He does it ONCE in Federation Day and that shit was so clean. MORE.

I actually really enjoy the black/white animated cut scenes between ops more than the ones in (for example) the Modern Warfare games where it's mostly satellite images. They did some pretty cool transitions a few times. Even if Hesh or Elias's narrating annoyed the shit out of me.

GIVE LOGAN A RORKE FILE. Hesh and Elias and MERRICK get one but not my boy??? LET HIM COOK! (I have a soft spot for the Rorke Files, I just think they're neat.)

Make Rorke and Elias gay for each other. Divorced. Toxi old man yaoi in my COD game? Sign me up. (This is the "Ridiculous" end of the ideas spectrum.) I don't care if it's only implied, I'll take ONE line where Elias admits that he and Rorke were closer than a Captain and Lieutenant should be and that's all I need.

Keegan and Ajax also Gae Confirmed please and thank you. I just... I need it. Also don't kill Ajax. I like him and if they do the Confirmed Gae it'd be another case of "Burying Your Gays" and I don't need that. Coma or smthn but no death.

More POC characters. Ajax is the ONE black guy and they kill him. Like are you kidding? Fucking hell. I hc the Walker boys as mixed White/Hispanic, I hc Keegan as Pakistani, Neptune as Korean/American, like c'mon I'm fighting for my life over here. Give me a fucking hand. Jesus.

Make the Ghosts scary. Gimme a mission from the enemies POV (Weather the player knows it or not) where you're just getting hunted in some Insidious-esque bullshit the whole time. Put the "Stalker" back in Ghosts. (Because their official name is STALKER)

I probably have more but I can't remember/think of them at the moment.

#hope this wasn't too long lmao 💀 #call of duty #call of duty ghosts #everybody here #elias walker #hesh walker #logan walker #gabriel rorke #keegan p russ #beloved anon #🃏 anon

[toki-is-the-king]

Toki Mental Health Headcanons:

(No hate please, you can disagree with me on this it’s just a headcanon I have + our Toki has autism so it makes sense to us).

-Toki most likely has autism but it’s undiagnosed because he was so neglected as a child; he never went to the Dr for anything, not even when he’d get fevers so bad he hallucinated. His parents didn’t care and also didn’t believe in going to the dr as it went against their religious beliefs; only God could heal. Often times when Toki was displaying signs of autism along with being physically ill all the time from abuse and neglect, his parents just locked him in the punishment hole for even longer, saying he needed to resist the devil or that Toki was disobeying God and was being punished by evil spirits. Toki has a highly stressful response anytime he’s sick now but does nothing much about it. And now he sees no point in going to the Dr, let alone a therapist or psychiatrist. The only times he really goes to the dr for check ups are when Charles forces he and the other guys or if his diabetes gets out of whack. Sometimes he still tells himself he has to ‘pray away’ his mental or physical afflictions due to his parents strict teachings, but it doesn’t work and he sometimes worries he’s actually possessed or evil. It hurts him so badly inside. He still doesn’t understand why they insisted he was evil, he still loved them but was terrified of them.

-That being said because he doesn’t have his ptsd or autism diagnosed or even know he has it, it just lingers for years and Toki doesn’t understand why he always feels so different from everyone else. And why people think his interests are childish and dumb or why he has meltdowns when somethings overstimulates him like the time he ‘accidentally’ might’ve murdered that dude at the Snakes N Barrels concert. He knows he’s fucked up but he lies to himself that he’s okay because that’s what he always had to do. Never having anyone to comfort him expect his straw clown doll and his imagination, he often regresses to a younger age to cope with his trauma and overall stress. He has panic attacks frequently too as well as nightmares and had social anxiety when he was a teenager. He beats himself up a lot, feeling the most fucked up out of everyone and having undiagnosed autism just makes him feel like he can’t even handle life. He talks to Skwisgaar about his internal struggles, knowing that even if all Skwisgaar does is nod and make brief eye contact, seeming half distracted with his guitar practicing, that he does care. Skwisgaar has his own personal issues and an ego, but he really does care about Toki and the two have a very close bond.

“Why’s Toki gotta have so many stupid problems things…”

-Toki doesn’t ever end up getting diagnosed, his distrust of the American medical system is part of it, also he’s just anxious about Dr’s in general, but he’s learned to self soothe and calm himself down over time. He enjoys having quiet time alone, focusing on a project, like building model airplanes or coloring, he likes to keep his hands busy so his mind has something to focus on. sometimes he just sits alone on his bed and hugs himself tightly or rocks himself until he calms down. Deddybear always brings him some relief.

-When nothing else works sometimes Toki gets explosive bursts of anger and destroys things, but he doesn’t have to be angry to break shit, it’s fun to break shit. Like lamps! Sometimes Skwisgaar or Pickles find him sobbing with bloody knuckles outside after fist fighting a tree or breaking random shit in the yard. Pickles always takes a brother like approach and brings Toki inside to bandage his hands, while Skwisgaar just takes Toki by the arm silently and walks him to his bathroom. He awkwardly helps Toki clean himself up and doesn’t say much. He lets Toki cuddle with him afterwards and it always helps Toki calm down.

-While some people with autism dislike being touched as it over stimulates them, Toki is the opposite. He always feels under stimulated. It could be because he was isolated for so long that now he can’t handle being alone for extended periods of time. He always wants physical contact with those he cares about. It’s hard being in Dethklok sometimes because none of the guys are affectionate towards each other and none are very touchy unless it’s with a woman. It makes Toki sad because he wants hugs all the time or to hold hands or play with someone’s fingers while sitting together on the couch. It’s all platonic (except with Skwisgaar, they’re more than friends but it’s complicated). Toki needs constant stimulation or else he’s anxious, bored, or fidgety. Being neglected made him even more clingy and now if anyone shows him an ounce of affection he is overjoyed and doesn’t want it to end. He loves long tight hugs and snuggling close to someone, glued to their side. Over the years Skwisgaar has eased up a bit and lets Toki cuddle him or hug him, they hold hands a lot when the guys aren’t around. Skwisgaar likes to play with Toki’s hair and it makes Toki the happiest guy on earth. He loves the smell of Skwisgaar’s hair and always presses his nose against his head when the cuddle.

Feel free to share any other Toki headcanons!

#metalocalypse #dethklok #toki wartooth #skwisgaar skwigelf #skwistok #we love you Toki #autistic characters #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #william murderface #writing dump #traumagentic did #did stuff #did system

[writtenjewels]

See No Evil part 7

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six

The shit Eric used for Jason's eyes was starting to work. Instead of staring out into dark nothingness, he could now detect light and blobby shapes. It wasn't good enough for Jason to make out any details of said blobs, but it was a hell of a lot better than before.

Jason hated leaving Salim's side, but he also wanted to know what happened during his absence and didn't think Nick would indulge in front of an “enemy”. So when Eric ordered Nick to go check the perimeter, Jason tagged along. Nick talked of trying to save Merwin and ultimately failing, seeing Clarice being pulled into the dark, and coming to Eric's rescue only to discover Rachel was already gone.

“Shit, Nicky,” Jason sighed with a shake of his head. “Sorry I wasn't there, man.”

“Doesn't sound like you could've done much. No offense.” Nick was quiet for a moment. “I found an old radio. I could tinker with it, see if I can get a signal to the surface.”

“Go for it,” Jason encouraged. He kept his ears open for trouble while Nick worked.

“So,” Nick spoke up. “What's going on with that Iraqi?”

“Salim? What do you mean?”

“I don't know. The way you two are with each other, it's like—”

“Nicky, I can't see,” Jason interrupted him. “I had to rely on him to guide me around.” Nick said nothing. A moment later there was a crackle from the radio. “You got it!” Jason celebrated.

There was a snarling sound and the rush of boots pounding the ground. Before Jason knew it, he was tackled and forced onto his back. Whatever attacked him was trying to claw at him. Instinctively he lifted his hands to fend off the thing. Was it one of the demons?

“What the fuck?” Nick gaped. “Joey?”

“Joey?” Jason repeated, squinting his eyes as if that would help his vision focus. He thought he could make out the outline of a face, but it couldn't be Joey's: the thing had something protruding from the head. He scrambled for any kind of weapon and latched onto one of his knives.

He started stabbing wildly, not caring what he hit as long as it connected. Finally Jason got enough room to kick the creature off of him. There was more scrambling of feet from behind and the creature suddenly lit up. Still shrieking, it tumbled over the side and vanished.

“What the fuck just happened?” Jason demanded.

“Those creatures don't react well to sunlight,” Eric answered. “The corpse you brought back burst into flame when exposed to the UV lamp. Did it get you, lieutenant?”

“I'm good.” Jason pushed up on his feet, glancing around. “Salim?” he called out uncertainly.

“I left him with the corpse,” Eric admitted. “Did you manage to fix the radio?”

“I think so.” Nick let out a sigh. “But I'm no mechanic. If Merwin was still here, he'd know what to do.”

“We work with what we have, sergeant,” Eric reminded him. “See if you can radio our people; I'll go back and check on the prisoner.” Jason wanted to protest that Salim wasn't a prisoner, but Eric was already moving away.

“This would be a lot easier if he had agreed to air support in the first place,” Nick complained. The radio started popping with static but Nick dismissed it as a ghost signal. He messed around a little more and there was suddenly a loud feedback noise.

“Turn it off!” Jason shouted. “You'll make those fuckers come down on us!” He could hear more shrieking from below and knew it was already too late. There was rapid gunfire and the radio went silent. “The fuck?”

“Get down!” Nick hissed, grabbing Jason and pulling him to the ground. “We're under attack! Must be the same guy who got Eric and Rachel earlier.”

“What?” Fuck, Jason wished he could see. “Where's Salim and the colonel?”

“No idea, man! We gotta live through this first!” Nick paused to return fire. Jason reached for his rifle, heart pounding. He felt so useless like this.

“Nicky, point me in the right direction and I'll cover you while you flank him.”

“Jason, you're blind.”

“You think I don't know that?” Jason snapped back. “But I can't sit around on my ass. Just point me and stay outta my line of fire.” Nick was quiet for a moment but the enemy didn't give him long to debate before opening fire again. He let out a sigh and Jason felt it as Nick positioned the rifle.

“I hope I don't regret this,” Nick muttered, and then he was running off and Jason was alone.

He gripped his rifle so the recoil wouldn't shift his position, and opened fire.

#jason/salim #jason x salim #jason kolchek x salim othman #jalim #salim othman #jason kolchek #house of ashes #nick kay

[sleepynegress]

HELLO! I'm sorry you've been getting idiotic anonymous people being rude about Uhura. I saw your lovely post about her and it made me happy to see that people appreciate her! She is so much more than lots of fandom pretends. Also I high-key agree that Karl Urban absolutely nailed his performance of Bones. It was so dead on!!! Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. So their really gentle scenes made me SO happy when they finally happened. The warmth and gentleness shone through and won me over entirely. Zoe played sharp with just enough warmth. But I still love Nichelle's too. Uhura is great! Anyway didnt have a huge point here just happy that you also love her and call people out LOL

The main issue is the misogynoir and perhaps TERF leanings against the most recent player in the part, Celia Rose Gooding. She is non-binary and goes by she/they pronouns. She also has a short close-cropped style which beautifully frames her face. The troll is hyper-fixated on attacking that, disparaging her presentation of femininity using coded language to imply aggression or masculinity. This is extra backward because, of the three players who took on Uhura, she has the darkest skin tone, has the fullest lips and a wide nose bridge, and her hair is the only one not in a straightened or processed style (which is fine for an option BTW). All of these things together are rare aesthetics for a Black woman, and appropriate, especially for an sub-Saharan African woman's character presentation, especially in a futuristic sci-fi mainstream iconic franchise, like Star Trek and so important for young people to see as normalized femininity. I think of Lupita Nyong'o talking about the effect Alek Wek had on her...just being there as this South Sudanese supermodel, with very dark skin and short natural hair...

Celia Rose is the particular target this troll has framed as their "fanhood", with thinly veiled insults and backhanded "compliments" that keep dogwhistling in their posts with various account names.

As for Zoe's Uhura, that professionalism and sharpness, when it came to her abilities and focus on her studies was an obvious intentional writing choice to stave off the very criticisms *she still got* because of the misogynoir of that era...

People were accusing her of coercing Spock into her ship assignment and even assaulting him(!).

That mess never makes sense, but hating Black women for existing or having what we are perceived as not "deserving" is sadly an old tradition (see those who make a hobby out of hating Megan Markle). And now, I see people praising the OG Uhura, Nichelle, for aspects of her character that were actually forms of limitations on her because of production bigotry...i.e. the forced interracial kiss, that people constantly cite as some forward thing w/o the context that it was forced because the implication was that no one in her crew would willingly kiss a Black person. IOW, aliens assaulting them for their entertainment was the lesser evil and more palatable to white audiences than someone choosing to love on Uhura (and I would add *especially* someone white, because even showing Black affection and love in that time was a rare thing, and her episode showing some yearning towards an old love showed no physical affection between them either). Anyway, all that to bring it right back around to ALL the Uhuras are great. And the weird microaggressions, macroaggressions, hatred, and attempts to shove them into a particular box are misogynoir; a microcosm of the kind of bullshit too many Black women go through on the regular just for existing.

Celia is a Rose and I hope she shines, gets loved on, has friends (including some Black ones) who are genuinely concerned for her well-being and actually help her when she's in need.

P.S. I missed this reading way too fast before but this bit is sus IMO Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. If you meant Spock not reading Uhura? Then yeah, I agree. If you mean Uhura not reading Spock?? I can't walk with you there because Spock literally almost hindered Uhura's career and got her on an exploded ship(!) because of his emotional bias and almost killed Kirk on the bridge because he was not managing his emotions well. Meanwhile Uhura read him well enough to provide some comfort after the loss of his mother.

#uhura #meta #answer #star trek #celia rose gooding #star trek: strange new worlds #she reminds me of kim from a different world

[darklinsblog]

Daughter of Evil | Sandman Imagine

Summary: The Dream Lord has never seen eye to eye with Trigon’s daughter but one night the tension is too much to bare.

Pairing: Morpheus x Raven! Reader

Author’s note: I just wanted an excuse to use this GIF okay? And yes this has a certain degree of smut

Agilieth was a demon you had to put on check, as the daughter of Trigon and Arabella you were this dark entity that most of the times would get misunderstood.

Yes, your core was what most people would consider evil or deranged but in truth you had risen above your nature, you weren’t here to cause pain and destruction, you were here to protect the world from all the evils you knew.

You had the demon under your control, ready to send him away to Hell and this time make sure he could not resurface.

“Wait Y/N!” You groaned at hearing the voice of the Dream Lord, it was amazing to you how he always showed at the worst times.

“Morpheus, get out of here” you instructed him.

“Agilieth has information I require” he tried to reason with you.

“And you are interfering in my affairs” you groaned, the back and forth with the King of Dreams making you lose your focus and giving Agilieth a window of opportunity to attack you, making you fly out to the other side of the room.

The demon was close to escaping, but as you grew irritated you focused all your power to fulfill your task.

“Azarath Metrion Zinthos!” You exclaimed, your hands turning black as you casted the demon away.

As the mattered was handled you marched to Lord Morpheus grabbing him by the collar, but he didn’t seem happy with you either.

“You know what could’ve happened if Agilieth was on the loose?” You hissed in his face.

“You have no idea what you just did. That demon knew something about my helm” he groaned, you smirked sarcastically.

“Well guess what Lord Morpheus? Your interest mean shit to me” you were breathing heavily in each other’s faces, your hearts were beating loudly and you were inches away from one another, it was impossible for Morpheus not to divert to your lips

Maybe it was impulse or frustration or both things at once, but he kissed you passionately, your body immediately went with the flow of him, matching his heated energy.

When you broke apart Morpheus’ looked perplexed as if he couldn’t grab his head around what just happened.

“I do not-“

“Shut the fuck up” you said, tired of the situation, you didn’t want to think, you just wanted to act and regret later.

This time you were the one who had kissed him but this time around you didn’t put any resistance, both of you committing to the heat and impulse of the moment.

It was an odd but addicting sensation to feel Morpheus’ hands on every inch of your body, ripping your clothes, marking your skin.

As Morpheus had his head buried between your legs you were moaning, surrendering to your ecstasy, looking up there was a cross above your head, it was ironic how you were doing this in a chapel, but committing a deadly sin had never felt so right to you.

Even as you came and the Dream Lord feasted on the taste of you like you were the very elixir of life, you trembled.

You would be lying if you said you hadn’t imagined what Morpheus would be like as lover and he did exceed your expectations and wildest dreams.

Normally, you would like to be in control in all aspects of your life, but you couldn’t denied it was thrilling to give the power away and be handled with such expertise and confidence.

Morpheus grabbed you by the ankles, placing you perfectly under him, he lined himself to your entrance and kissed you as he sunk deep inside you, making you tense and cry out of pleasure as you grabbed your arms around his neck and you started meeting his thrust with fervor.

The king of Dreams was in Cloud Nine right now, you felt perfect around him and your sounds of pleasure got him to a wild point, it was as if he just needed more and more.

Cumming inside you was the most sinful yet thrilling act, even the feeling of his seed running down your leg had brought upon you a sense of content almost.

Morpheus followed your every move intently, admiring how you collected your clothes and with all the patience in the world you got dressed.

He couldn’t know for sure, but he could almost swear you were doing this on purpose to lure him and it was working like a damn charm.

The Endless grabbed his arms around your waist softly, kissing your shoulder making you turn to face his blue eyes.

“Will I see you again?” He asked you confused as to where did this leave you in terms of your complex relationship.

“Well if you are eager to see me, you know where to find me” you whispered in his ear and then kissed his lips, he watched as you stood up simply before looking at him.

“It has been a pleasure, Lord Morpheus. And believe me, I don’t say that often” that was the last thing you said before going back to your dimension.

Taglist: @emiemiemiii @ladyfairenvale @hungrhay @aurorarevenclaw1927 @adishax @meganmayhem89 @mrs-captainsteverogers @hb8301 @sarahbullet235 @bambooing-shenanigans @queenshelby @characterxreaderimagine @emarich7 @carolcrysis @sister-of-stars @coolsnowker @sandman-33 @jesllianaquilesrolon

#the sandman comics #sandman imagine #sandman netflix #dream of the endless #morpheus dream #sandman x reader #dream of the endless x reader #tom sturridge x reader #sandman shitpost #tom sturridge #morpheus x you #dark morpheus #morpheus sandman #morpheus smut #morpheus imagines #lord morpheus #morpheus #lord morpheus x reader #sandman headcanons #sandman x you #dream x reader

[forgotten-daydreamer]

MY TWO CENTS ON FUGO FROM "VENTO AUREO"

Some don't understand that the anime objectively did the best thing by changing Fugo's backstory and that him leaving was actually perfect, and it makes me wonder if these people understand anything at all when it comes to JJBA and human experiences. Let me elaborate.

First of all, for those who don't know, in the manga Fugo's backstory is different: his professor never harassed him there. Other changes were made, but let me focus on this one.

This change was made by Araki himself, as you can see here:

Araki had a lot of trouble with the character of Fugo, not only with his backstory, but generally when it came to handling him:

No, this doesn't mean I think Araki hated Fugo. I actually think he loved him so much that he wanted everything about him to be perfect. And perfection is hard to achieve.

Araki changed Fugo's backstory in the anime so that he could have more justice and so that his stand could make even more sense [I'll talk about that in a moment], and he spared him from becoming an evil traitor because it would've been both pointless and cruel towards Fugo himself.

Now, the main reason why I'm writing this, is because online many say that the change makes no sense, that the manga's backstory is better. I, just like Araki, don't think so.

Let's focus on the implications of his stand for a second: Purple Haze is a close-range stand, which is important to prove my point. On its hands, we can see little spheres that, when broken due to Purple Haze throwing punches, release a deadly virus with the ability to kill every being within five meters, in only thirty seconds. Pretty badass, but also, so, so meaningful.

A reminder before I go on: stands are the personifications of someone's spiritual energy. So the stand is the manifestation of the user's inner self.

In the anime, Fugo, as a teen, was raped by his professor, and beat the man to pieces when he tried to sexually harass him: it'd already happened at least once, from what we know from their brief exchange. Also, it's unclear whether the professor had raped Fugo or had "simply" sexually harassed him the first time, but he can be seen taking his belt off in the flashback shortly before being attacked, so I believe that yes, indeed, the professor was aiming to rape Fugo again in that scene.

The professor, by doing so, violates Fugo's personal space. So do his parents by constantly being on their son's back.

Fugo's often described as "violent", but he really isn't, not unless he is openly provoked and/or threatened. He's never attacked the innocent, after all. Not only that, but he's also self-conscious about his stand, he's aware that its power is dangerous.

Let's not forget, Purple Haze doesn't harm what's not in its proximity. Purple Haze only attacks what's in its space, which means, what's in its user's space. Same goes for his user who - were he a violent man like some say - would attack anyone on sight.

And that's it. Fugo's inner self longs for space and quiet, as easy as that. He's not violent when his personal space isn't invaded - both physically and mentally speaking. Fugo never attacks unless he's openly threatened and sees no other way out. Purple Haze symbolises Fugo's desperate need to be left alone, out of trouble, unbothered. Purple Haze makes the threats go silent and still by killing them, and silence and stillness are all Fugo strives for. That's also why he doesn't want to "go against the rules" to defeat the Boss.

For someone with such trauma, with such a complex psyche and possibly BPD [I have it and I believe he does too, but that's not canon, it's just a theory] sticking to the status quo is comforting, it makes him feel safe, grounded. BPD often causes a rapid shift in the perception of both oneself and others, so his sudden change of heart towards Giorno's plan is absolutely justified and has a logic explanation, unlike most people think. BPD, sadly, undermines most humans relationships.

Purple Haze, much like Fugo, isn't evil nor inherently violent. Sure, the man didn't have to stick a fork into Narancia's face for a silly joke, but again, Fugo didn't even perceive it as such - which makes me believe that my BPD theory is right - just like Narancia didn't think that a wrong math problem would've elicited such an explosive reaction.

A traumatized man, whose stand embodies his fear of emotional and physical contact, sees the few people he trusts making what he believes to be the scariest, most irrational decision, determined to go against the status quo. The life of emotional stability that Fugo had slowly started to rebuild after joining the gang is quite literally shattered before his eyes, and yet, he never betrays his friends.

Fugo's behaviour makes much more sense with the changes introduced in the anime, and him leaving was the perfect epilogue for him, in my honest opinion.

#fictional rape mentions #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyouna bouken #ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 #fugo pannacotta #pannacotta fugo #fugo #purple haze #stand #stand ability #stand user #enemy stand user #vento aureo #golden wind #ougon no kaze #黄金の風 #ōgon no kaze #character analysis #rape cw #bpd #giorno giovanna #narancia ghirga

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 33 part one

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Songs From The Wood Make You Feel Much Better

We jump right back into the battle, and the show replays the bit where Wei Wuxian chokes the guy out and the guy spits blood into his own nose. Because a stunt performance like that should be seen twice to be truly appreciated. 

It also replays Jiang Cheng holding Jiang Yanli’s body, while he (probably) thinks about how basically everyone he ever valued was killed by someone who was mad at Wei Wuxian. Now he is also mad at Wei Wuxian, which he will express by killing someone he values (Wei Wuxian). 

Clan Leaders Ouyang and Yao start talking shit about Wei Wuxian and hollering for everyone else to kill him. The crowd encircles him, shouting blame at him while they all point at him, in a sequence that’s effective despite being the world’s most obvious greenscreen compositing.

Note that while everyone is telling him to die and blaming him, none of them is brave enough to actually attack him.

Lan Wangji isn’t with him at this point; he’s off in the background fighting assorted people. This is a reasonable choice for him, but he will regret it.

(more after the cut!)

Wei Wuxian starts fluting and sends black resentment blasts against the general group. Lan Wangji tells him to stop, but he does not stop. So...these deaths can't be blamed on the second flute, yea? CQL Yiling Laozu isn’t as murderous as MDZS Yiling Laozu, but he’s not NOT murderous, either.

Eventually he gets tired of holding fake blood in his mouth and stops playing so he can spit it out. 

Because Lan Wangji is afraid for Wei Wuxian, he loses focus and gets a nasty cut on his arm, resulting in his arm being too weak to save Wei Wuxian. 

I'm sure that won't keep Lan Wangji up at night ever.

Drop It Like It’s Hot

As soon as Wei Wuxian appears weak enough, Yao and Ouyang both reveal their hypocrisy, yelling "take the Yin tiger seal!" You know, that thing they’re not supposed to want or use. 

Wei Wuxian flies up on top of a tall thing and tells everyone that if they want it, they can have it, and then he blasts the tiger seal into pieces, sort of. 

Everyone goes nutso trying to grab the remaining intact half while it scooches around staying out of anyone’s grasp.  Yao and Ouyang both kill living cultivators in their attempt to get the amulet, even though it’s only useable for unorthodox, supposedly evil cultivation. Jerks. 

Wei Wuxian does some heartbroken cry-laughing and then decides to kill himself, which, given the conventions of this genre, is both predicable and reasonable of him.

But Lan Wangji doesn't believe in genre conventions; he wants Wei Wuxian to live, no matter what, and has an ill-timed epiphany about this just as Wei Wuxian is backing up to the edge of the cliff. The same cliff they argued on in Episode 23, incidentally.

Lan Wangji asks, so tenderly, for him to come back. Wei Wuxian continues to back away, possibly thinking that they are still fighting, or possibly just focused on his goal of killing himself. Then he yeets himself off of the cliff. 

Help Me, I Think I'm Falling

When I get that crazy feelin', I know I'm in trouble again

We get this beautiful flying-on-wires stunt where Lan Wangji launches himself forward to catch Wei Wuxian, with a bonus overhead view, and both views are shot from much too fucking far away.

But unlike the camera insanity of the previous episode, the visual composition is beautiful and so the scene doesn't lose its impact. And the shot of Wei Wuxian falling toward the camera is iconic and wonderful, in the saddest possible way.

When Lan Wangji catches his wrist, Wei Wuxian is so surprised. 

He just looks at his wrist for a moment, and then looks up to see who caught him, and is touched to see that Lan Wangji is trying to save him. 

We get a nice hero shot of Lan Wangji from Wei Wuxian's point of view, with a fan in his hair and everything, as this moment stretches out; Lan Wangji can’t pull him up, but won’t drop him.

All the same, Wei Wuxian doesn't want to be saved, and he tells Lan Wangji to let him go. 

But Lan Wangji is not about letting go of any person that he loves. He puts on his best stubborn face and hangs on for all he’s worth.

The impasse is broken by the arrival of Jiang Cheng, but he is not here to help Lan Wangji. He is here to help Wei Wuxian, in the sense that he is going to help him die.

Some might argue that Jiang Cheng didn’t really kill Wei Wuxian, but I think he should get full credit, whether he wants it or not. Knocking someone off a rock so they fall and die is maybe less personal than stabbing them in the face, which was the other option from this angle, but it's not like prying the rock face apart was going to NOT kill Wei Wuxian. 

Also, killing a guy who is in the middle of a suicide attempt still counts, Jiang Cheng. 

Wei Wuxian is initially happy to see Jiang Cheng, even after he realizes that he’s is here to kill him. Wei Wuxian smiles and closes his eyes, expecting (presumably) to get stabbed in the face. 

When Jiang Cheng opts to attack the rock instead, it puts Lan Wangji’s life in danger, because he’s not going to let go of Wei Wuxian for anything at this point. This truly terrifies Wei Wuxian, and he desperately yanks his hand away, keeping Lan Wangji from falling with him. 

Then he peacefully falls to his death.

The last thing he sees and hears in this life is Lan Wangji's shout of anguish.

Damn, show.  

16 Years 13 Years Later

Then we skip forward to the evening after the reunion on the mountain. Wei Wuxian is waking up in Lan Wangji's bed, for the first but definitely not the last time, and his mask is off. He has some flashbacks to the events of episodes 1 and 2, just to remind us of where we are in the plot.

Then he turns and sees Lan Wangji, who has taken a great deal of care to be as beautiful as humanly possible. 

He's sent a junior disciple out to get some nice white flowers, he's taken his hair down, he's used all of his most expensive skin care products, and he's got his lovely elegant hands out in front of him, playing the guqin.

Wei Wuxian says it feels like the last 16 13 years have been a dream, and Lan Wangji tells him he's awake. 

Lan Wangji is practically beaming with happiness and contentment here, although they still have some stuff to work out. 

Lan Wangji gives him the 411 about what happened after his death, and Wei Wuxian asks the awkward question: why was it 3 years before Lan Wangji looked for his body? Lan Wangji doesn’t explain about being stuck in the penalty box, opting to ask Wei Wuxian where he went while he was dead. 

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know. This doesn’t, incidentally, mean he was holding out on Lan Wangji all those times Lan Wangji tried to reach him. Inquiry, as I understand it, is for talking to ghosts who are hanging around, and isn’t meant to reach restful dead in the afterlife. Otherwise Lan Wangji would be using it to talk to his mother.

Do You Believe Me?

Then Wei Wuxian peels the cover off of the big unresolved problem in their relationship, asking Lan Wangji: did you really believe me, back then?

Let’s revisit the earlier iterations of this conversation. 

In Episode 22, Wei Wuxian promised Lan Wangji that he would not fall into demonic cultivation, and then immediately asked him "do you believe me?"

Lan Wangji responded with the most reluctant of nods. And this face.

Lan Wangji lied, y'all. He absolutely did not trust Wei Wuxian on this topic, but he loved him, so he lied.

By Episode 23 Wei Wuxian knew that Lan Wangji didn't believe him, and confronted him about it.

And Lan Wangji made the exact same face about it.

It’s ok, Lan Wangji, we don’t believe him either.

Language note: the English subtitles use “trust,” “believe,” and “believe in” at different times throughout the show, but they’re all translations of the same Chinese word, 信. Often, in the Untamed, the same word or phrase will be used in parallel situations, but the English subtitles hide the parallel by using different words each time. This is annoying but is probably inevitable translation is done by a team - different episodes will have different translators, and English has a LOT of synonyms to choose from. 

In the present, when Wei Wuxian asks him if he really believed him back then, Lan Wangji doesn't have an answer for him, because the answer would be no.

Wei Wuxian hears what Lan Wangji isn't saying out loud, and he ends the conversation, mildly crushed.

Soundtrack: Help Me by Joni Mitchell, Songs from the Wood by Jethro Tull

#the untamed #cql #restless rewatch the untamed #wangxian #ep33 #canary3d-original #lan wangji #wei wuxian #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta

[deusvervemakesgames]

Project RBH Devlog 0 – The Story So Far

I’ve wanted to make video games for approximately two-thirds of my life at this point. I hear a lot of indie developers who make devlogs and videos and posts talking about their Dream Game that they’ve always wanted to make.

I don’t have one of those.

I just really want to make games. Plural.

I do however happen to have a budget of zero dollars. Which is, I will admit, something of an issue when it comes to game development and design. Don’t get me wrong there are a lot of powerful free tools out there. Unity, Unreal, Blender, I’m not exactly short on options. Okay, so I was put off of Unity from their CEO calling people who don’t monetize their games ‘idiots,’ but the point stands.

I was also fortunate enough to be gifted Game Maker Studio 2 right before they updated their Terms of Service to a subscription system or whatever nonsense YoYo did. What matters is that I own the engine and don’t have to pay subscription because they were nice enough to not try and retroactively alter legal user agreements, unlike some game companies I could name did recently.

But enough digs at the evils of capitalism, let’s talk about Project RBH.

Project RBH is a placeholder name I’m giving this game while we’re in development until I can come up with a better one. It stands for Reverse Bullet Hell, which is a decent summary of the main goal. Project RBH is a top-down twin-stick roguelike. The Reverse Bullet Hell comes from the main mechanical twist I’m putting on similar roguelikes, like Enter the Gungeon. The upgrades and pick-ups found during your run aren’t better weapons or equipment, but upgrades to the behavior of your primary attack. Most of them will do basic things like increasing the speed of the projectile or making it bigger, but there are other things that can be done to really make your attacks crazy.

The goal is to have a game where it is possible, over the course of a run, to build a gun that shoots a gun that shoots chainsaw bullets.

So Where To Start?

Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve watched multiple devlogs on YouTube, read Devlog posts, etc. And I see many of them running into what seems to be the same or similar problems: a lack of focus.

I also happen to have a degree in game design. And fortunately we had industry veterans in the course, so one of the things they taught us was the importance of a Game Design Document, or GDD.

Warren Spector, one of the leads on the classic Deus Ex, talks a lot about having a GDD during the development of that project. It’s an incredibly useful tool for pre-production, as well as for ensuring that people from across the project all have the same understanding of the creative vision. Obviously, I am a solo developer because I am broke and insane, so that last one won’t be much of an issue. But that first one is extremely important to combating many issues that crop up during game design and development, like feature creep and decision paralysis.

Which is why I haven’t made one.

Okay, no, that’s not the reason, and I will, but it was too good a transition to pass up.

The real reason I haven’t made a GDD yet is because there is another way that one can start a project. I would not recommend you do this, the GDD is a really good idea and I’ll go into more detail about it in a future Devlog, probably the next one. The reason I have chosen to do things this way is because I wasn’t confidant about the planned gameplay, so I wanted to quickly prototype it and experiment with it to see if it was actually, you know, fun. It’s nothing fancy, I have no background and the character sprites are squares, but it gives me something I can mess with.

This prototype is where I’m at right now. There isn’t even Procedural Generation, just a giant room with some walls and a whole lot of enemies.

You know what, I didn’t even realize the player and enemies are both green.

So that’s where Project RBH stands right now, a single prototype that I’ve been toying with so I can decide where and how I want to focus this game. From my experiments so far, I’ve noticed a few different directions I can take the project.

A game with a wide variety of weapons which the player can loot during runs. The player’s collected weapon improvements carry over between weapons. This has the pro of providing things for the player to unlock from runs without affecting game balance, but comes with the con that certain upgrades will make weapons feel too similar.

The original plan, in which the player has a single weapon which is reset after each run. The pro of this is that the random weapon upgrades can do some crazy stuff to this weapon, but comes at the con of being very same-y at the start of each run.

Additionally, my experiments have lead me to the realization that having a lot of powerups that drastically alter your weapon leads to a chaotic mess as you rain doom and destruction upon your pathetic enemies. This leads to the third direction I’m considering.

Much like the first one, there are a variety of weapons, however these weapons are far more powerful and do not upgrade. The player mows down hordes and hordes of foes and has a power fantasy. This has the con of being basically an entirely different game.

Here is me with no upgrades versus me with many upgrades.

As we are so early in preproduction, I don’t feel like showing off video is strictly necessary yet, but yes, it’s more obvious what’s happening in motion.

Which is where we will end this Devlog. I’ll run some more tests, maybe ask some people I know to try my experiments to get some more opinions, decide on a direction for the project, and make a GDD.

Until next Devlog!

-DeusVerve

Support me on Patreon

#devlog #indie dev #game development #indie game #game dev #video games #rbh

[obsidiancreates]

Out Of The Shadows and Into The Neon (Part 8)

"Uncle Casey?"

"Yes, Donnie?" Casey holds the bo staff by the little turtle, then shakes his head and rummages through the pile of similar yet varied in size staffs.

"Do you have a battle cry?"

"Battle cry?"

"Mikey says all good ninjas have battle cries, but I said not all of them, because you don't."

Casey tears up so quickly that Donnie shoots to his feet and wraps him in a tight hug. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you upset!"

"You didn't," Casey assured, choked up as he hugs his sorta-nephew back. "I'm just honored that you hold me to such a standard."

"Duh!" Donnie pulls back, frowning at his uncle now. "You're just as awesome as our dads! And you're not even a mutant, you're way more easy to injure but you fight anyway, that's extra awesome and brave!"

Casey blinks, and more tears spill out. How does he even begin to explain to the ten year old how much this means to him? To be admired the same way he used to admire his own Senseies? To be thought of as a warrior just as incredible as the leaders of rebellions, saviors of the world, preservers of a future worth living in?

"... Stop it." Donnie puts his oversized hand on Casey's face. "Stop crying! That doesn't even make sense, you're happy! Why do people cry when they're happy?!"

"Sorry, Donnie," Casey says with a wet laugh. He moves the hand off of his face and wipes his own eyes. "I just... that means a lot to me."

"You didn't know how awesome you are? After everything you've done?"

"I knew. It's different hearing it. Everyone appreciates hearing it from others sometimes, even when they know it themselves."

"Oh." Donnie's frown deepens. "Even when they say it a lot? Like... all the time, constantly?"

"Even when they say it a lot. Sometimes people say it out loud just to try and make others agree, because they don't believe it but don't know how to ask." Like Sensei Leona- like Leon. Boy, was that a family therapy session to remember, when that came to light.

Donnie nods, expression extremely serious. "I'll tell everyone every time I think they're awesome, then. "

"That's a great goal." Casey rummages through the staffs some more, and holds another one next to Donnie. "There! This one seems about right for your size."

"Whoo!" Donnie grabs it and instantly go into spinning it around himself.

"Whoa, buddy! That's to power up for a strong attack, too much spinning in combat will render your attacks pretty ineffective!"

"But spinning it is the best part! I know how to use my own weapon, and my style is lots of spinning." Donnie spins it again, and then points the end at Casey. He frowns. "Hmm... I feel like it needs something extra..."

"Your dad said No Techbos until you can build your own, remember?"

"Yeah. ... I'll think of something."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Auntie Cass?" Raph dangles his feet as his aunt digs through a bin of different size and weight sais. "Why do we need to use Brownie Clan weapons?"

"Your fathers didn't plan on taking you out on a real patrol this soon. AHA! Hold these ones!"

She shoves them into Raph's hands. He holds them for a second, and then-

Tries to spin them.

"Bleh! Nope!" He hands them back.

"Sai aren't traditionally a 'spinny' weapon. ... I ADMIRE YOUR ADDITION TO THE ART OF COMBAT!" Cass pats him on the head with a wide grin. "We'll find the perfect pair for you to practice that trick with!"

Raph kicks his legs more as she goes back to digging. "So what's patrol like?"

"I've only gone on patrol with your fathers a few times over the years, and Foot Clan patrol was much different. BUT! Both require focus, intensity, and PLENTY OF SNACK BREAKS!"

"What was working for The Foot like?"

"Not very different from a regular assistant job! Except for the world domination, ancient evils, and fighting turtles."

"Did they ever use robots?"

"Robots?"

"I had a dream where they used robots, but really crappy robots. Donnie could beat them with his stick."

"His bo. And no, we never used robots... why didn't we use robots? We could've hired that strange small child before he went on the lam..."

"Strange small child? ... Donnie?"

Cass lets out a loud, sharp laugh. "An excellent burn! But no, I believe his name was Blaster... Stossbid. Something like that."

Raph laughs. "Bastard Stinkboy."

"Where did you learn language like that?"

"Pop-Pop. He swears in Japanese now because Dad scolded him." Raph smirks. "But we taught ourselves Japanese, so we know them all anyway."

"You- how?"

"Donnie." Raph grins. "He knows everything. And if he doesn't know it, he knows how to find it for us. But then he makes it lame by talking about all kinds of stuff none of us get."

"It's not lame to be knowledgeable. How about these?"

"... Nope. And that's not lame, but the way he talks about it is lame."

"Does your brother call it 'lame' when you talk about art to him?"

"No."

"Does Donnie understand or have an interest in art the way you do?"

"No."

"So you've betrayed him, and treated him as less than equal!" Cass puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes at Raph. "He's your clan and kin, and yet you DISMISS HIS SKILLS AND INSULT HIS ATTEMPTS TO SHARE THEM!"

Raph blinks, eyes wide. "But I didn't mean to betray him! I'd do anything for my brothers! I-I'd fight the world's biggest cockroach, and I hate cockroaches!"

"I believe you!" Cass hands him another pair of sai. "But do your brothers know this?"

"They should!" Raph stands up on the bench he'd been sitting on. "Why do I gotta tell them for them to know?! I show them!"

"How?"

"I-! I... um..." Raph plonks back down onto his tiny turtle tush. "Um... well, well I show them a lot in dreams!"

"Dreams?"

"Yeah! And so I'm gonna do the same tonight." Raph spins the sais, and this time his eyes light up. He jumps down from the bench and spins them again, striking a pose. "If any of them get into any trouble, I'm jumping in to protect them!"

"Admirable bravery! But also, very foolish." Cass kneels down. "A team that protects each other is just a team that knows how to function in combat. You're also a family! So tell your brothers you love them and when they do cool things! Casey Jr tells me how incredible I am often, and it makes me feel the MOST DELIGHTFUL SWELL OF WARMTH AND LOVE EVERY SINGLE TIME!"

Raph blinks at her, and wipes a little spit off of his face. "And Leo says I yell a lot."

"We yell because a normal volume can't contain the sheer intensity of our emotions! Come, young nephew, and together we shall SHOW OFF YOUR INCREDIBLE TRICK TO YOUR BROTHERS AND COMPLIMENT ANY THEY HAVE TO SHARE BACK WITH YOU!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And then-" Mikey says, running around as April tried to find some non-spiked nunchucks for him, "-and then Leatherhead goes RAHHHHHHHH!" He holds his hands up to his mouth and opens them. "And then snaps his teeth around the zombie dog and drags him way down, and the zombie dog lives down there forever and never bothers anyone again!"

"And you came up with that all by yourself? I'd totally read that comic, little man!"

"I saw it in a dream," Mikey says proudly, "And I knew Leatherhead would be the awesomest comic hero ever!" He raches into the back of his shell and pulls out a piece of paper. He starts to run towards April, and then freezes.

"What're you- WHOA!"

April scrambles out of the way as Mikey suddenly launches into a frontflip, and then right into a backflip! But instead of falling over or even stumbling, he lands perfectly on his pancake feet and holds the drawing up to her.

"Um, Mikey? When'd you learn that?" He's not usually that sure-footed in training-

Mieky blushes and looks away. "Dad said I shouldn't try it without mats, but mats are too lumpy. ... Don't tell Dad."

"You've been practicing flips alone?! Oh, no way I'm not telling your dad, if you snap your neck-"

"I won't!" Mikey puts his hands together and widens his eyes, somehow getting them to water instantly. "Please! Pleaseeee! I wanna surprise him tonight by showing off! It's really easy for me, like- like how DNA and stuff is easy for Donnie!"

"You're asking me to lie to my best friends, little man! I-I can't just let you guys-"

"Please!"

"No way!" April goes back to rummaging. "Why are you four always tryin' stuff in secret, anyway? You can just tell your dad the mats mess you up! He'll understand."

"But he's so worried!" Mikey sits down and then flops over to lay dramatically on the floor. "All he does it make sure we're not gonna get hurt!"

"Uh, Mikey, newsflash. He's your dad. That's what a good parent does!"

"But he does it too much!" Mikey does a backflip to get back up. "He caught Donnie doing a handstand on my shoulders while we were skateboarding the other day and totally flipped! But we do that like, every time, and we don't go on the ramps or anything!"

"You WHAT?!"

"Donnie like to walk around on his hands, and I like moving around while he's talking to me! So we mixed 'em!"

"Mikey, that's way more dangerous than just backflips!"

"But we're really good at it!" Mikey frowns and tenses, his head lowering into his shell from the sheer rage in his muscles. "Why does everyone treat me like a baby?! Do you know how tough nunchucks are to use as a good weapon? REALLY TOUGH!"

"Whoa, whoa, hey." April puts her hands up. "Where's that coming from?"

Mikey crosses his arms. "Raph and I were wrestling the other day, and our dads made us stop because he's 'bigger than me'. He's only bigger by a little bit! And I'm just as strong as him, maybe stronger! My dad's the strongest and he's the smallest too, why am I any different?!" He grabs a pair of nunchucks out of the bin himself. "Look!"

"Wait-!"

But he spins his weapons perfectly, does a flip, and lands without bonking himself even once. He kicks and follows it with what would be a truly devastating hit to the rib area in a real fight, and then finishes his little demonstration with a solid punch to what would, presumably, be the jaw.

April's own jaw is dropped. "You- that was-" She shakes her head. "And we thought you weren't paying attention in training, dang kid!"

"Training is way different." Mikey pouts as he hooks the little nunchucks to his little belt. "Everyone else takes it so seriously, but it's not real!"

"... Hun..." April crouches and puts a hand on Mikey's shoulder. "They take it seriously because it is serious. And you goofing off makes them take it even more seriously, because they think you aren't paying attention."

"So?"

"Uh, so, they think you're gonna get your butt whooped out there and that they'll have to protect you! Obviously they won't, but they don't know that! ... Tell you what, when you're out with your dads tonight, show them they can mix fun with serious. Your Uncle Leon makes puns during fights all the time, goad him into it! I've seen Leo have pun-offs with his dad, it'll work like a charm."

"... Really?"

"That's an April O'Neil promise."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Pop-Pop?"

"Hmm? Yes, Little Blue?"

"Can my swords have red on the handles instead of black?"

"I don't see why not." Splinter shudders as he opens the cabinet. "All of these little girls running around with deadly weapons... this is why we live in a sewer, away from Girl Scouts."

"I thought we live in the sewer because humans don't like mutants?"

"At first. But no-one really cares anymore." Splinter pulls out a pair of katanas, and then shakes his head and tosses them aside. "Ooooh, this one has something engraved in it... eugh!" Splinter's tail stick straight out as he reads it.

Leo walks closer and reads it aloud-

"NO!" Splinter puts his hand over Leo's mouth. "How do you know what that says?!"

"Donnie found Japanese lessons for us online."

"Never repeat those words around your fathers! Purple donates to the Algebra channel just to keep it running for when he's mad at me."

"Donnie can fix that for you."

"Little Purple? Since when?"

"He built a new TV out of trash his dad didn't want anymore." Leo grins. "We stayed up all night watching your old movies the other day. You're the coolest grandpa ever."

Splinter's eyes water, and he pulls Leo into a hug. "I know this is so I won't tell on you," he sniffles, "But I don't care!"

"What? No it's not. You're just awesome. I wanna be just like you and Dad. You're both great ninjas, great teachers, and great heros!"

Splinter's hug grip falters a bit. "I... do not know if I deserve such praise."

"Why?"

"... I was not a great teacher for much of your father's life. ... I was not even a decent father."

Leo leans out of the hug. "What? But our dads love you so much!"

"Yes, because my boys are very forgiving. ... But I am ashamed to say that I... I failed them. I did not prepare them in time for many things, and I often failed them in smaller ways. Which is why I try so hard with you boys." Splints pats Leo's head. "So I do not make the same mistakes twice."

Leo shakes his head. "No. You're so wise, and-and Dad always talks about how cool you are in a fight."

"This is a heavy subject, Little Blue." Splints looks up at the armoire of swords (knowing Leon would make a pun about it somehow).

"... How do I avoid those mistakes?"

"What?"

"If you made any mistakes, I'll avoid them." Leo kneels down, sitting on his knees and putting his hands in his lap. Splints doesn't even know where he learned to sit like that, if he knows how much it reminds Splints of his early childhood before he and his grandfather moved to America.

"Oh, you won't have to worry about my kind of mistakes for a long time." Splints pats his head again and wipes his own eyes with the other hand. "You're a good person, Little Blue. But you're rushing to grow up too fast! Let yourself have a little fun! Your father has fun all of the time!"

"At home."

"Not just at home." Splints pulls out another pair of swords, one having a longer handle than the other in this pair. "Have I ever told you about the time your father outsmarted Big Mama?"

"Dad told me he tricked her and you two had the most epic father-son battle ever."

"Hah! We did! But, he also was plenty silly for it. He had them make us matching costumes, and did not even tell me his plan the whole time! I thought he was going to get us killed!"

"Why wouldn't he tell you his plan?"

"Because he is a smarta- um, forget you heard that."

"Raph says the F word."

"Yeesh. He is like a teapot. All his anger in too small a space."

"Ha!"

"Do not tell him I said that."

"I won't. ... Mikey would laugh at it too. And Donnie."

"Which is why you will not tell them either! I've seen you boys, you trade insults like normal kids trade playing cards!"

"Hey, Donnie and Raph do it way more than Mikey and I do!"

"Still. You are all smart-mouths, just like your fathers."

"You just told me to be less serious."

"By that I mean to do fun things! Make terrible puns in battle! insult your enemies and not your brothers! Embarrass your enemies in front of their partners!"

"... How will I be a good leader if I'm busy doing that?"

"Who said anything about being a leader?" Splints hands Leo the swords. "Your father did not become the leader until years after your Uncle Red was. And even then, he needed time to grow into it! You are only ten, do not worry about that kind of thing yet."

Leo tests out the swords, running through a basic attack. "But what if we need a leader?"

"That will work itself out. You're not going into battle without your fathers anytime soon! Let yourselves find your rhythm before you try to force things." Forcing things results in sons kidnapped, teapots given as ransom payment, demons unleashed-

Leo nods. "Okay, Pop-Pop. I'll loosen up." He sheathes his swords behind his back in one shockingly fluid motion. "... You really think we'll see a fight tonight?"

"Oh, no, not tonight. I'm sure it will be villain-free!"

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt #tmnt crossover #tmnt fic #tmnt fanfiction #reincarnated au #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

[kulay-ng-banaag]

Thank you, sincerely, for your addition to that post. I understand where OP was coming from but I still took so much issue with pretty much the same things you did and you put it into words perfectly.

The thing that strikes me most deeply is the suggestion that it's propaganda. IMO, it's a very valid concern, because if handled improperly, "racebending" can indeed become revisionist. But I think very many of us have alternate takes on these characters specifically because sticking to "you must remind everyone of state oppression and you must do this by having your character look a certain way" is exhausting for us. I don't get any joy out of it. I can see how it can be cathartic for some, but it's viscerally upsetting to me because it opens up that trauma. I am tired of the focus being placed on how my people suffered instead of how my people LIVED. When I "racebend" it's because I want to tell a story that is too often forgotten. It's forgotten because of the same things OP is upset about. We are all coming from more or less the same place of frustration. But that frustration will present itself differently depending on the individual and that can't be changed. I appreciate the call to think critically instead of just "applying a new paint job" for lack of a better term, because yes it can end up revisionist if it's done thoughtlessly. But there's still that broad brush assumption that we ARE doing it thoughtlessly or don't know any better/don't know what's best for us, and that's where I can't agree. I don't like to be told that my work is propaganda when half the reason I do it in the first place is to subvert propaganda that has been used against me. I will not open up my own trauma to appease someone else's take.

Ngl I've been (mostly privately) getting appreciations sent for it so this has been validating QvQ

Again, I get that it wasn't an attack on every fan who racebends, so I cannot help but beg the follow-up question: if not everyone, then who exactly? And how do you know they fit the bill? One of the last things I want is for people to automatically see fanart of a Hetalia character colored differently from the canon works, whether it be straight from Himaruya's jazz hands or the studios making the anime series, and assume it's a racist caricature or smth. Someone once mistook one of my moots' Piri, who has since drawn him moreno, to be a black N. Italy. 😭💀

Pardon me for this brief addition because my professors DRILLED this into our heads that historical revisionism (updating previously established historical truths thanks to newfound research) =/= historical distortion (intentional curation of information such that it favors a certain agenda).

A great (and local!) example of historical revisionism is the Banaue Rice Terraces. For the longest time, we were taught that they were built since the precolonial age (~2000 years), but research published back in 2009 revealed they were most likely constructed after 1585 (~400 years). If academic papers are intimidating, here's a video that breaks down the same research and an article that summarizes its role in historical revisionism. For historical distortion, I just have to point at the propaganda (yes, it really was!!!) upholding the Marcos, sr. regime as a "golden age" of rich-bitch thriving for the Philippines. Here's a great Tiktok video with captions with an introductory breakdown of the economic situation during Martial Law.

Going back, racebending can be distortionist. Once more, it all boils back to highlighting the state, and lbr why do we have to validate our own nasty governments lol. 😭 I wish not for my bayanihan ideals to be twisted as delusions for a greater evil.

#mula sa tanungan #sibuyas

[not-souleaterpost]

20th century boys - the anti "Monster"?

So I read 20th century boys for iceberg research, and because I did like the previous work "Monster" and it was.... Well I have very mixed toughts, sadly a lot of them arent positive and if I tried to vocalise everything it could sound more negatitive than I actually think it is (as a 17 min voicemessage to a good friend proofed lol)

But, instead of bitching I thought I'll focus on a single point, one which seems kinda obvious but that I havent seem mentioned.

20th-century boys is like a parody or a response of his own work "Monster"

Like, spoilers ofcourse, so lets start

What is "Monster"? You often see it described as "super dark and realistic, a perfect anime to be adapted into live action!"

But is it really? It has a magical killer child with an face of an angel, a weird supercomputer cop with a funny quirk, a literal manbaby nazi leader, etc.

Still what does that have to do with 20th century boys? Well because that series IS about childish manga tropes, about how unrealistic they are and what the reality to fulfill them would be (well thats one of many things but lets not get ahead of oneself)

And it kind of attacks or critques the concept of the evil genius - instead of some demon child with a tragic backstory, the villian of friend is a petty manchild, one that was petty since childhood, whose "trauma" in many ways was just a charachter flaw from the start (well there is more too that, but the whole multiple friends twist/retcon would be too much for this short little ramble I'm spinning up)

But there is another aspect - not just parody, but response and "addresing critques" - like people complained that in Monster Johans finall plan was too low stakes, so the authors says ok, now Friend actually does take over the entire world!

And not just that he trys to kill billions of people with even some childish fantasy bomb supposedly being able to destroy a whole planet!

Still it depends on how charitable you are - is it passive agressive in making things as big and dumb to make a point of how childish that actually would be or is it doing it to correct a flaw that many fans complained about?

Whatever the case, there are more things ofcourse, like the main charachters being the opposite - from a hypercompetent doctor to a incompetent hasbeen - both ending up with long hair to complete the parralle.

But listing everything of is kinda irrelevant. What is interesting in the end is how his work, intentionally or not, build on each other, are in dialog and show the evolution of the guy and the change in times and scene.

And maybe this is enough to actually try Billy Bat, even if many things dissulosened me from the idol that the author is - so much that I forgot his name.

But if not and I waste my time again with a overly long manga that meanders cause it doesnt now what it trys to say, I hope the author sends me letter with the words:

Yeah...sorry

#20th century #20th century boys #naoki urusawa's monster #naoki urasawa #ahh thats the name #thought I would have more to write #guess Im tired lol #yeah...sorry #oh also #this will pay of in the soul eater iceberg #once I get back into it lol #idk #gotta read billy bat after that as motivation to get it done or something

[sunhatllama]

Please Don't Leave Me (Part 6)

A Resident Evil Fic Request

For @leonisdumbasallhell

Rating: M

Contains: blood, strong language, description of injuries, bodily fluids

Tags: Married Chreon, Infection, Major Character Injury

Word Count: 2368

Part 6/? Part 1 <- Previous | Next ->

Chris's chest constricted painfully as he closed the bedroom door behind him. God, he was leaving Leon all alone while infected, while dying. Even the small attempt at sitting up winded the man horribly, his chest shuddering for air. It reminded Chris of that day in Norway—when Leon pushed his body to the brink of death to save Chris. He didn’t remember much of that night, but he knew the hypothermia and blood loss nearly killed the man, and he did it all for Chris.

He shook his head. He had to go. He had to help his team. And buy time for Rebecca to finish creating that vaccine. Leon saved him before, now it was his turn to return the favor.

'Hold on Leon." 

Double-checking his weapons and magazines, Chris walked down the last corridor before exiting the front door with a deep sigh, the chilled night air tinged with unease. He immediately brought out his AR, designed for mid to long-range shooting, his specialty. He was more of a 'brute force' fighter as Leon would call him, often using his fists and upper body strength to reserve ammo, while his husband used his precise handgun and flexible legs more effectively. Leon also had the better aim of the two, and he liked to tease Chris about it, but Chris was too proud of the man’s abilities to tease back.

Chris swallowed thickly, trying to focus on the moment. He was doing this for Leon.

He steeled himself and walked over to Fran and Elli, nodding to them. "Any news?"

Eli sniffed. "Captain. Our sensors indicate their numbers are increasing and they have begun to circle the safe house. We haven't seen anything yet—no signs they're moving in anytime soon, but it's only a matter of time."

The BOWs must have had some sort of submissive strain in them then. "They must be following orders—just like those infected with the A-virus back in New York and like the Plagas. There's no other explanation for them not attacking immediately." He thought about what would have happened if Leon had turned and shuddered. No. He wouldn’t think like that. Leon was still human.

"Yes, sir. It seems that way."

Chris hummed. "Eli. You and Ally group up, watch the East side of the building. Keep your comms on and up." He pointed at his own communicator before turning to Fran. "Fran, you're with me."

The man nodded curtly and Chris exhaled. He hoped all of them would get through this alive. They were good people.

He pressed a button on his comms that was connected to Rebecca. "Rebecca, does the S-virus have any submissive-dominant qualities? Like in New York?"

The scientist’s voice came out fuzzy. "Not that I can tell—it’s possible the BOWs outside have a different virus than Leon."

He sighed, shaking his head and not quite knowing what to say. At least he didn’t have to worry about Leon being used against them. The man shouldn’t even be standing period. If he were forced to fight them, Chris feared the exertion would kill him. "They’re circling us now. Making any headway on the vaccine?"

"I’m not finished yet—but I'm going as fast as I can, Chris."

"I know you are, sorry." He rubbed his eyelids, sighing.

"Leon will be okay. He's strong."

Chris sighed again, this time heavier. "I know he is. Thanks."

He took a steadying breath, nodding to his team members before they split off. Fran walked a few paces away before beginning to scan, watching the treeline. Chris did the same on his side, keeping an eye both on the dark trees and Fran’s back. He would keep everyone alive this time.

The moonlight shone down on the far-off trees, glinting off the canopy of leaves. Despite the full moon, the forest was veiled in shadow, too dark to make out movement. Chris kept his gun up at attention and his ears sensitive. The hoard wouldn’t be quiet, the basic infected didn’t have the mental capability to know to be quiet. Chris could hear crickets chirping and the wind brushing past the tall grasses blanketing the field. In any other circumstance, he would call it peaceful.

Chris and Fran paced back and forth for about thirty minutes before they heard anything, the sun peeking over the horizon line and casting a blood-red glow on the earth.

As it was, it was more unnerving than anything.

~o~

A garbled snarl. 

The infected were drawing near.

Chris notified the other group of the invasion just as a hoard of zombies burst from the tree line, shambling faster than he would have liked toward them, their inhuman screams making the hair on his arms stand up.

The unintelligible screeches sent unease through his gut and a flush of adrenaline shot to his extremities. He raised his gun, taking a small breath as he aimed through the site at the nearest group, pulling the trigger.

Bullets pierced zombie after zombie, their agonized cries sounding too human. Each one fell, blood flowing from their already marred and decaying flesh. The gunshots echoed in Chris’ ears and the vibrations shook his bones, his heart beating in sync with the flurry of shells falling to the ground. Chris huffed, sweat beading down his temples.

A pile of corpses collected at his feet, and he tried not to look at the bleeding bodies for fear of nausea, but in doing so misplaced his feet, stepping on the arm of a dead woman and losing his balance with a yelp. The lapse in bullets was all the infected needed to close the distance between them and soon one tackled him hard. They fell to the ground just as another zombie came and Chris tried to wrench his gun out from underneath the combined infected’s weight.

“Captain!” Fran yelled, out of breath, and Chris’ gun clenched. Fran needed him—Leon needed him. 

With a yell, he pushed the zombie away before shooting in in the head with a flurry of bullets, the gun trembling in his hand, but he wasn’t quick enough to dodge the other infected, this one grabbed for his gun and ripped it away from him in one quick swipe. Unable to dwell on the zombie’s apparent higher intelligence, he took the chance to clench his fist and punch her in the face. The infected went flying—the force of the punch breaking her neck on impact, and his gun clattered to the ground. Breathing heavily, he stumbled over to it—

A click of a gun’s safety being turned off and the metallic press of a muzzle to the back of his head stopped Chris in his tracks.

Fuck—

"Chris Redfield. You should be dead," a masculine voice said smoothly, and Chris’ face blanched.

Fran’s voice pierced through the sounds of ravaging infected. “Captain—”

“Stand down, Fran. Keep the infected occupied.” Chris raised his bloodied hands, standing straighter. He wouldn’t show weakness, not to this man. “Don’t you think it’s a little unfair you know who I am, yet you won’t return the favor?”

The masculine voice laughed cruelly. “I guess you could say I’m the leader of the particular hoard.” He stepped around the corpses at their feet, keeping his gun trained on Chris’ head. “Name’s Gerret.”

Chris stayed still, hands still raised. He didn’t want to give the man a reason to shoot him. There had to be a reason he kept him alive. His confusion must have shown somewhat on his face for the man smirked.

“I have no intention of shooting you—as long as you give me what I want.”

Chris kept his face neutral, trying not to give away how nervous he was. Who the fuck was this guy? He had to be answering to some higher organization. “And what is that?”

“The infected Leon S. Kennedy, of course.”

Chris’ gut clenched. No. He wasn’t going to do that—and that wasn’t his fucking name anymore. Leon was a Redfield, and Redfields stuck together. Chris involuntarily jerked forward at the man’s words and Gerret growled, training the gun on the still-fighting Fran.

“You said Fran was the boy’s name?” He smiled, his eyes dull and lifeless. “I could just kill him now, spare him the agony of turning once he inevitably is unable to fight off the hoard. Would you like to see what hundreds of zombies trained on one person can do? Would you like to see how fast the boy would be gutted and shredded alive? I sure would.”

Chris froze, trying to breathe. No. He wouldn’t let that happen. “Fran—I want you to meet up with the others, try to hold off the infected.”

Gerret looked surprised, but ultimately uninterested, just retraining the barrel on Chris’ skull with a raised eyebrow. 

Fran made a noise of discontent but Chris cut him off. “Do as I say, soldier!” Chris heard the man's footsteps retreat after a long moment, the zombies eventually following him and leaving Chris alone with Gerret.

“It won’t save them.”

Chris could hear the gunfire from around the other side of the building, pulse fluttering in his wrists. He hoped the three of them would be able to fend off the infected long enough for Chris to deal with this fucker.

“I know,” Chris said simply.

He lurched at the man without warning, swinging his fist up in an arc, Gerret’s expression turning surprised before he dodged. Chris twisted his body out of the way of the barrel and placed his hands on Gerret’s, holding the gun away from him. Three wasted shots rang out, the recoil causing Chris to flinch but he held his ground. The man growled angrily, trying to buck him off by elbowing his torso. Chris grunted, bringing his knee up to slam into Gerret’s abdomen. The man gagged at the impact.

Clenching his fists around the stock, Chris pried the simple 9mm handgun out of his hands and punched the man again, this time hitting his target. Gerret bent over, hands on his knees, trying to regain his breath, and Chris frantically checked to see how many bullets were left—

There were none. Shit.

Gerret stood back up, taking out a long knife from his side. Chris didn’t even see that he had one. He mentally slapped himself. Now they were back to square one, the man with a weapon and Chris with none. He pocketed the empty gun, not carrying any 9mm bullets to reload it.

“You know, Redfield, I was willing to be merciful.” Gerret wiped the blood dripping down his right temple with his thumb, sniffing in. “Despite the fact that you ruined my original plan.”

Original plan. So was Chris correct? Was this who attacked Leon at the docks?

“...Are you the one who infected Leon?”

Gerret’s eyes glinted with an emotion Chris couldn’t place and he smiled. “Yes, that was me,” he said happily, and Chris’ vision went red. 

He almost took Leon from him—

“I ambushed him at the docks. He was quite easy to subdue once the bat hit his skull. It was quite satisfying—seeing a renowned DSO agent be downed with a single blow to the head. And infecting him—it was the greatest part, seeing him struggle but unable to do anything as I injected that virus into him,” he sang. “Kennedy had it coming. He deserved it for what he did to Los Illuminados.” The man’s expression turned cloudy instantly as if he suddenly remembered something, and his gaze turned volatile. “And you were supposed to die! Kennedy was supposed to kill you—” Gerret waved his knife around wildly. “He was supposed to turn and kill you all!”

Chris stepped back, the blade swinging too close for comfort, and his spine hit the wall of the house. A stab of protectiveness shot through his chest at the way this man described hurting Leon and Chris bore his teeth, hands closing into fists, red-hot fury rushing through his veins. "Leon is my husband—you won't lay a fucking hand on him as long as I'm alive."

The man growled face twisting in a snarl before his eyes widened with realization, making Chris uncomfortable. This man was clearly unhinged—and it made the hairs on the back of Chris' neck stand up. He suddenly felt cornered, his back against the wall without many places to dodge. Nervous, he glanced at his surroundings in case there was a weapon within reach, but his gun lay to far away to reasonably grab.

Chris was about to take advantage of Gerret's distracted state when suddenly Gerret's expression morphed into pure mania, laughing with a giddiness that made Chris’ gut turn. His gaze swung back to Chris. “I offer you this again,” he giggled before his eyes turned steely. “If you give me Mr. Kennedy now, I will spare you and your team.”

“Fuck you,” Chris snarled, not even entertaining the idea. He would never give Leon up, not even to reassure his team's safety. 

This seemed to displease Gerret, and without warning, he launched himself toward Chris with an agonized yell, bringing his knife up. The blade glinted a harsh orange in the rising sun, the weapon coming straight for him almost in slow motion. Chris knew he should dodge—but he was frozen in place.

The blade was inches from his body now, and Chris closed his eyes as the knife whistled closer—

A gunshot rang out from above him and a splatter of blood marked his face. Chris breathed, eyes springing open just as a heavy thud registered in his ears. What—

Gerret was on the ground, a hole between the eyes and blood pouring onto the gravel path. His knife had fallen from his hand and now lay between the blades of grass.

Gerret was dead—shot in the head.

And then Chris heard over the communicators, “Captain the infected aren’t focusing as hard anymore—we need to leave while we can! What’s your status?”

Chris’ heart dropped. The bullet. It was Leon. Leon fired it. Leon—he shouldn’t even be moving at all. Oh god. What if he hurt himself?

“I’m going to Leon, now. Buy me as much time as you can—get the chopper ready to go!”

#resident evil #leon s kennedy #chris redfield #chreon #say you love me au #resident evil fanfic #resident evil fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #re fanfic #re fanfiction #chris x leon #leon x chris #writing prompt #🦙's writing

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

People really be like “he fought every day to get his body back that’s looveee!!!” What? If some random guy I didn’t even really know just showed up and took my siblings body from me I would be fighting tooth and nail every damn day to get them back??? You don’t even know what they’ve been doing with the body!!

I'll just stick these two anons together:

Well let of course it's "love", but narrowing down Liu Qingge's dedication down to just that, is shallow at best. It removes all other depth for him that he himself became more than just a one off side character and became a real person.

He is more than his feelings for Shen Qingqiu, and I do wish fandom gave him more than just a role of a side piece for Shen Qingqiu's "harem" or make him out as the real knight in shining armor or focus his all on only ever having been looked over in love for who they think is undeserving of Shen Qingqiu's affections. Shen Qingqiu planned out his own survival and rebirth, he didn't need saving nor did he need a burial in the end, however well meaning both men were with their intentions. Also, Liu Qingge didn't expect "love back" he was perfectly fine and comfortable with the friendship they had, otherwise how he is as a person, he knows when to take and get what he wants, he is stubborn like that obviously. If he really was pining and yearning, he would have made a move to make it more. But he's not interested and Shen Qingqiu isn't either at any point despite the multiple openings for that. Reasonably, I would be worried too about the desecration of Shen Qingqiu's body of someone that outright seems to hate him (as Shen Qingqiu himself thought until more than 3/4th's through of the novel and he still hesitated badly which made Luo Binghe REALLY go off the deep end).

He also is suspicious of Luo Binghe for very good reason as demons (that he is in charge of) kept attacking them as well and Luo Binghe wasn't exactly easing those tensions himself playing into the "they say I am evil so evil I'll be" role. For the overarching theme of Shen Qingqui playing up the betrayed Shizun by a scoundrel, Liu Qingge's hesitation makes sense, from an outside view without all details. He just knows that Shen Qingqiu is weary, and that Luo Binghe is overarchingly, coming off as a threat to a friend multiple times after the fall out of the Immortal Alliance Conference, that was never discussed anyways by Shen Qingqiu. Until suddenly Shen Qingqiu is making multiple excuses to protect Binghe after all that weariness and paranoia! Liu Qingge not "liking" Luo Binghe doesn't come off as jealously as much as "this guy is crazy and why are you actively acting just as crazy?".

(Oh look it sounds like my usual fits when it comes to how fandom also says Lan Wangji was a good person just because of Wei Wuxian having to "change him" from a Rapunzel in her tower.)

#svsss #scum villain #I'm sorry the floodgates of salt have been opened #salt? salt