#i just keep having 5 second anxiety attacks over it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

midnightdevotion · 1 year

Text

Hang in There

Request: Hi I saw you opened and requests and I can’t stop thinking about Rooster finding fem reader passed out somewhere after training because she’s pregnant with Hangman’s baby 👀 Maybe she’s been off a while and hangman is still ✈️

a/n: hi guys! it's been forever since i posted something- i will update all my fics soon just needed some inspo from requests to get my mojo back. Thanks for understanding loves.

Pairing: Jake Seresin x female reader(Callsign Daisy)

Life has a way of kicking your ass in unexpected ways. After waking up sick for two weeks in a row you went to the doctors, only to find out you were pregnant. 8 weeks pregnant no less.

Now your approaching 10 weeks and you still don't know how to process that your pregnant, let alone tell your boyfriend. You know you want kids, but this is definitely not how you envisioned it happening.

The fear of telling Jake and losing him for this is something that has you up all night, every night. You can't help but thank you're lucky stars he's been on a mission for the last month because after waking up sick every day and hardly sleeping from the stress of it all, he would've figured you out. He should be getting home later today and you don't know what to do.

Logically, you know that while he plays the part of jackass cocky pilot, he worships you, and he would never be so low to leave you and your baby. His Texas roots would never let him. However, you're pregnant so your hormones don't let you settle the anxiety with logic.

Flinching as a door slams it knocks you out of the anxious spiral that has been your mind for the last few weeks.

"hey daisy you ready to kick some ass today?"

"when am I not" you send what you hope is a convincing smile towards rooster. You move around him grimacing as you walk into the sweltering southern California heat.

___

If there's one thing you can count on, flying is the one thing that gets you out of your head. It takes away all your fear and keeps you exactly in this moment. Nothing outside of being in the pilot seat matters. Not being pregnant, not every stress that comes with it being unplanned, and certainly no anxieties about what comes next.

There's no space for any of that. The second you climb that ladder, your life and everything about it falls away.

Today you are just running team trainings, and they are always your favorite. You have no upcoming mission scheduled so it's just to keep your skills refined and ready for when there is a mission.

"hey daisy, you know it's not fair when they team you up with Rooster, you should just let us win" coyote's voice crackles over the comms.

"Coyote how will you ever get better if I don't humble your ass every time i can?" your sarcastic reply echos back.

"C'mon just once! I've got a date tonight and I want to brag about being the winner"

"Tsk tsk you should know women don't want to hear you brag on the first date coyote. Maybe this is why you never get a second date."

"You can't seriously tell me the girl dating hangman told me not to brag right now."

Laughter crackles through from everyone, and you shake your head. Rooster gives you a signal and you move to his left ready to attack.

If there's one thing the dagger squad knows it's that when you and rooster fly together there is ultimately little to no chance for survival. Nobody expected the duo with callsigns rooster, and daisy to be such a lethal pair but you guys can read each others minds.

This is true on the ground too, which is why you've been avoiding rooster for two weeks. You know he can tell something is up, but if you avoid him, he can't figure out what.

"how quick do you think we can get them out today?" Roosters voice rasps.

"I reckon we will have them grounded in t-5 minutes"

"god not you too with the Texas talk" he groans.

"What you don't think it's charming?" he flips you off and you laugh.

Before you can respond you see coyote and payback flying. Dropping back to cover rooster you grin under the face mask. This is your favorite part of everyday.

Being up in the air with your best friends you feel invincible. Which is ironic considering this is actually a dangerous job.

"rooster, plan c"

"roger that" He goes shooting forward and you fall back. You laugh as you watch them chase rooster, it's symbolic in a way kids chase chickens and then get pecked.

You stay behind them until you move to get a shot. The sweet sound of missile lock rings out and payback drops off. Now that Coyote is onto you, the plan changes, and you become the bait.

You and Rooster know that he wants to air 'kill' you the most, which is why this plan will work. The temptation of you being right there will be too much for him to think about where rooster disappeared too.

So when rooster swoops in and gets the missile lock on coyote, you can't help but laugh. You and rooster devised this plan specifically for Coyote because he always complains when you two are teamed up together. So seeing it come to fruition and even better hearing Coyotes swearing, is the highlight of your day.

Grinning as you climb down from your jet, you search out rooster. You see him hopping onto the tarmac and walking over your way.

"roos we killed that!" you shout out at him. When you feet hit the tarmac, a rush swoops over you. Shaking it off you go to take a step and suddenly the world spins incredibly fast. Yet it feels like everything is going in slow motion, your vision goes spotty and you hear Rooster shout after you. The last thing you register before the world goes black is the sound of boots hitting the ground.

Rooster has never felt more scared to make a phone call in his life. How does he call Hangman and tell him that his girlfriend passed out, and is in the hospital bay when he has no idea why.

It's been four hours already, you haven't woken up and they won't give him any answers. His hair is a mess from stressing about his best friend not being okay while simultaneously worrying about how to tell the guy he knows would move heaven and earth for you.

His leg is bouncing up and down as he stares at the number dialed on his phone screen.

The fact of the matter is Hangman is probably still flying and won't be able to be contacted for a few more hours. The mission was a success, and then it was extended to have them run drills while at sea.

Bradley knows he has to make the call, but he's terrified that once he does it all feels more real. He's terrified to lose his best friend, He's lost enough already.

Sighing he rubs his hands down his face, picks back up his phone and hits the green call button. The ringing feels like the worst anticipation of his life. When it goes to voicemail his hands are shaking, and he doesn't know what to say so he just hangs up.

Next resort is to call the ship. A commander on board will contact hangman and deliver the bad news, and oh how he wanted to avoid it coming from anyone but him.

He feels a hand land on his shoulder, looking up and glancing at Mav he sighs.

"It's going to be okay Bradley"

"How could you possibly know that" Maverick sighs, and sits next to him.

"let me make the call." maverick opens his hand for him to hand him the phone.

"no- no I need to be the one.. just what do I say mav"

"you tell him the truth, you don't know yet what happened, she's stable but the doctors are finding out what happened and he needs to get back as soon as he can"

He swallows and it feels like steal is coating his throat. Nodding as he stands up he paces in front of mav.

"she's gonna be okay, she has to be okay. We take risks every day all day up in those jets, this can't be how she goes mav. She has to be okay."

"and she will be, but take a deep breathe and find yourself because when you get ahold of Seresin he needs you to be his rock, he doesn't need to hear you panic" Rooster sighs because Maverick is right. He grabs his phone and dials the ships emergency contact number.

It takes a few minutes, jumping through hoops, getting in contact with one person to be transferred to another. Rooster curses Jake for being so hard to get ahold of.

"This is warlock"

"Admiral, sir, this is Lieutenant Bradshaw. There's been an accident with Lieutenant y/l/n today and we need to get contact with Lieutenant Seresin."

"Jesus- is everything okay?"

"We're not really sure yet sir but Jake- he needs to know."

"He's in the air at the moment let me see if i can get him back on ship."

"thank you sir"

The minutes feel like hours as rooster is waiting. He hears chatter from his phone and he knows they are trying to get hangman back on the ship and available for the phone call but roosters not sure if he isn't ready to deliver the news or ready to get it over with.

What feels like an eternity later but is actually only twenty minutes he finally hears hangman in the background. He swallows hard.

"Rooster whats going on?" if there's one thing pilots know, they are never called down unless something bad happened.

"Jake. Something happened with daisy... she... she just passed out.."

"in the Air?!! Rooster tell me shes okay!"

"No no! not in the air.. we had just landed and i was walking over to her and she passed out. She's in the med bay now but we haven't heard anything about her condition yet."

"Fuck!..... Fuck!" in the background he hears jake asking how far from land they are. Ultimately needed to be there for you, needing to see you for himself. Bradley hears jake curse when the answer is still 3 hours out.

He hears a slam and then yelling before the line clicks dead. Rooster looks at maverick worried.

"what do you think he's gonna do"

"one way or another? getting a jet and flying here faster." is mavericks reply. Rooster can't help but agree, if he was 150 miles away from land on a boat that moves about 50 mph holding jets that move at 1,000 mph then he knows what option he would choose too.

----

It takes about 30 minutes for hangman to come rushing into the hospital bay.

"How is she, have we heard anything, what happened" He rapid fires off questions.

"the doctor came out and told us she passed out because she's sleep deprived and is showing signs of dehydration and that she hasn't eaten anything today."

"why- why hasn't, she knows she needs to eat- she's so good with drinking water... I don't understand." confusion crosses his fingers because none of that sounds like his girlfriend.

"when can i see her?"

"the doctor is going to come out soon and let us know what room she is in, they had to finish the tests to see if everything is okay."

Hangman nods and paces the floor where rooster paced about calling him. It only takes a couple minutes for a doctor to come out and call your name and everyone shoots up.

"Okay, well, I'm glad she has a support system but only one visitor at a time please, she does still need to rest and recover. She is in room 302"

Hangman takes off in a dead sprint towards the room.

---

Beeping is the next thing your mind registers, and it takes you a minute to open your eyes. Yawning you try to bring your hands up to rub your face but one is being held by something.

Looking over you see Jake studying your left hand.

"you know you scared the shit out of me today"

"Jake I-"

"why weren't you taking care of yourself?" this has you confused and furrowing your brows.

"I have been-"

"You were dehydrated, hadn't eaten and sleep deprived. It's why you passed out!"

"jake you've been gone! You don't know what I've been doing! I did eat breakfast and drink water this morning but I threw it up!"

"god darling daisy if your sick don't come to work!"

"I'm not sick!"

"some would say puking means your sick!"

"not when your pregnant!"

"you- you're pregnant?"

"Yes Jake! I've been throwing up for weeks because of stupid morning sickness and I haven't been sleeping well because oh my god I'm pregnant and that is the scariest thing, and I was worried to talk to you about it but I guess that's out now isn't it." Theres a silence that lingers on after your words, and it feels like ice pumping into your heart the longer it stretches on.

"oh- oh my god" your throat feels thick at his words, he's looking down at your still clasped hands and you watch him to gauge his reaction.

"we're having a baby?" he finally looks up at you and his eyes are welling with tears.

"yes- we're having a-" and your cut off by his lips crashing against yours. His laughter peels out of him as he pulls away.

"were having a baby!"

"wait... you're happy about it?"

"Of course I'm happy about it! You're the love of my life! I want everything with you. The house, the kids the marriage, the dogs the fights, and the stress"

His words make your eyes tear up.

"honey I hate that you were so stressed about telling me you weren't sleeping. I was sitting here, looking at your left hand thinking about how wrong it is that something happened and the doctors didn't immediately call me, that if something were to happen to one of us I never got the chance to put my ring on your finger." His words left you speechless.

"jake... what are you saying"

"I'm saying marry me."

"isn't that supposed to be a question?"

"No. Its a demand, marry me, make me the happiest man, have my babies and marry me and call me out on my shit and shoot me down in the sky I want it all. I know this is so not how i planned to ask you, but please, marry me." You laugh a wet laugh, because this makes sense, you two would get engaged in the weirdest way, and do it all out of order, but you love this man with your whole heart so you embrace the chaos.

"Of course I will marry you" and he kisses you with every emotion he's felt in the last few hours, but you both wouldn't change it. Even if he already has the ring at home in his sock drawer waiting for the perfect moment.

Tag list:

@alanadetigy

@luckyladycreator2

@multiplefandomsmess

@tkmarvel-divergentbish

@ohh-to-be-a-frog

@roosterschanelslut

@americaarse

@malindacath

@atarmychick007

@trikigirl271

@lustfulseonghwa

@smoothdogsgirl

@elenavampire21

@captainmarvelnerd

@averyhotchner

#jake hangman #jake seresin fanfiction #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #rooster imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction #rooster #rooster x reader #rooster top gun #top gun maverick #topgun #top gun

2K notes · View notes

christhopersturniolo · 2 months

Text

୨ pregnancy test ୧ matt

summary: y/n finds out she’s pregnant for the second time.

notes: english is not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! 1.2k words.

warnings: fluff, cussing, sad, panic attack.

୨୧

Me and Matt have been dating for the past 5 years, we live together and we also have a 2 years old little kid, called Evie. Well, being honest, Evie wasn’t really expected, but she was never a problem. We do love having Evie at home, even It being a little bit exhausting.

Lately my stomach has not been the best. I've been feeling nauseous all the time. I throw up almost every night, and on top of it, my period is late.

Am I pregnant?

I didn’t told any of this to Matt, and honestly, I really don’t know how he would react. I mean, we never talked about a second child, he never talked about another child, he probably doesn’t even want another child. Fuck really I gotta stop overthinking.

Now, In bed, Matt just fell asleep. And I’m struggling to. I just can’t fall asleep thinking that I can possibly be pregnant.

I get up quietly, trying not to wake up Matt. I go over to the bathroom and I close the door behind me. I look at myself in the mirror. I look tired. I take a deep breath. With shaky hands, I reach out for the pregnancy test that I bought yesterday. I do the test. I wait and wait. I bit my nails stressful. I start getting anxious.

As soon as I check the test, positive. Holy fuck. There’s no way this is actually happening.

My vision blurs, the whole room feels like It’s spinning. I sit on the floor, trying to stay calm. Each breath comes in short, ragged gasps as I fight against the suffocating weight of my anxiety. Tears stream down my cheeks uncontrollably as my heart races. I need Matt. I need to be in his arms. But what will he say?

Im sobbing completely, I can’t see a shit, my panic attack is just getting worst.

I start hearing steps in the hallway. I know it’s Matt, I hide the test behind me. He opens the door. “Babe why are you not in bed-“ Matt's sleepy and concerned voice trails off as he notices me crying on the floor, he automatically sits down next to me and pulls me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me with a comforting strength that I desperately need in that moment.

I bury my face against his chest, my tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt as he holds me close. I cling to him desperately, my body shaking with sobs as he holds me tight.

"Shh.. It's okay.. I'm right here for you.. Focus on me babe..” I keep sobbing and crying aggressively, non stop.

Matt cups my cheeks with his hands, lifting my head from his chest. “I need you to take a deep breath in..” He demonstrates how to do It. “Now, let it out..”

After a few moments of breathing, he asks. “Can you please tell me what’s going on love?”

With tears still streaming down my cheeks, I swallow hard, and I finally start talking. “I.. Took a pregnancy test..” With trembling hands, I reach for the pregnancy test hidden behind me, my heart pounding in my chest as I hold it out for him to see.

Matt's eyes widen. Then, without a word, Matt gently takes the test from my trembling hands, his gaze fixed on the plastic stick.

I start feeling desperate, loosing my breath again. “I think I’m pregnant, I’m sorry..”

Matt's expression softens as he looks at me. "Don’t cry.. it’s okay.. It’s not a bad thing.." He murmurs, pulling me into his embrace once more.

"It is a bad thing, Matt" I finally manage to choke out. "I know you don't want this kid."

Matt's arms tighten around me, his embrace a comforting me. "Hey.. hey.." He murmurs softly, his fingers gently tracing circles on my back. "I never said that..” He pauses “I know.. Hmm.. I know It wasn’t the plan, but I do want this kid, okay?” He says looking into my eyes.

"It's not that simple, Matt.." I whisper, my voice barely audible above the pounding of my heart. "I can't just pretend that everything is okay when it's clearly not.” I sob, loudly.

He looks at me sadly, not knowing exactly what to answer. “Why don’t we go back to our room and talk better there? Huh?” He says in a comforting tone.

I nod, sniffing. He helps me getting back up and we make our way to the bed. We lay down, I cuddle with Matt, my head on his chest, like a pillow. I cry. He strokes my hair, trying to comfort me. “Are you mad at me?” I lift my head, facing him.

His hand strokes my hair softly as he looks into my eyes. "Hey, listen to me" he murmurs, his voice gentle. "I could never be mad at you, okay?” He pulls me closer. “I could never be mad at you for something like this, don’t overthink It..” He kisses my forehead.

I let out a shaky breath. "I’m scared.." I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "What about Evie, Matt?”

He spreads kisses on my face, and wipes my tears away with his thumb. “Evie will love to have a sister, I promise you.”

“I’m not ready Matt.. What if she feels left out, or if we can't give her enough attention with another baby?” I sniff, sadly. “I’m not even a good mom.." Words catching in my throat.

He pulls away slightly, his brows furrowing with a mix of confusion and frustration. "What do you mean you are not a good mom?" He asks, like I’m lying to his face. "Where is this coming from?"

I stay silent, feeling the weight of his words sinking in. Matt's tone is firm, his frustration evident as he waits for my response.

“Look at me. I don’t wanna hear those words coming out of your mouth ever again.”

"You're an amazing mom. Evie adores you, and so do I. You do the best you can, and that's all that matters. I don’t wanna hear that stupid shit again, do you understand that?”

I struggle to accept his words, the weight of my insecurities. "I'm sorry Matt.." I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks once again. "I'm trying, I really am, I swear... But sometimes, it just feels like I'm not enough.." I completely break down again, crying even more than before.

As I break down in tears once more, Matt pulls me even closer, his arms a comforting shield around me. “Shh..“

“I love you so much, I don’t want you to leave me..” I say sobbing, hugging him the tighter and tighter.

“I love you too.. I’m not leaving you, I’m not going anywhere.” I cling into his body, leaving stains of my tears on his shirt.

"I'm just so scared" I admit, my voice trembling with vulnerability.

“You are safe with me, I’m not leaving you ever.” He keeps looking into my eyes while I avoid eye contact.

I shake my head as a no, getting more overwhelmed about all of this. “I don’t know If I can do this.”

“Everything will be just fine, I promise you.”

After some good twenty minutes, still with his arms around me, I start relaxing again. Tears continue to fall, but they're softer now. He continues to shower me with affection, leaving my face with gentle kisses and soft caresses, his fingers on my hair, I feel the tension slowly melting away, until we both fall asleep.

୨୧

i was so confused about what to do at the end, i hate this sm but i don’t have anything to post 😭😭

#chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #fanfic #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagines #chris sturniolo fluff #nick sturniolo smut #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo x reader #christhopersturniolo #christopher stu

212 notes · View notes

pineappleciders · 1 year

Note

heyy first of all its me the fucked up dream anon (now going by dream anon how original) second of all ive decided im going to learn about south park purely through your work so can i get some tweek (ive latched onto that boy) and whoever else you want (probably the main boys) with a reader (all platonic ofc) who's got that #anxiety? thanks even if you dont do it <33

🌌🌟/dream anon

main 4 + tweek with a reader who has anxiety; platonic headcanons

A/N: haii :3 i apologize if this like, distorts your vision of the characters or something. i am so glad you are being converted to the religion of tweek!!!!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety disorders, light mental health topics, paranoia, panic/anxiety attacks, death mention on kennys part

stan marsh

i think stan has a normal amount of anxiety. like he's so regular. he's your average joe

like he gets anxious over tests, and giving speeches, and over wendy. other than that he doesn't experience it to the extent of a disorder

so it might be a little difficult for him to imagine getting anxious over simple things like ordering food and stuff like that

he'll try his best to listen though, although he'll probably try to kinda reason with you, esp if you're feeling paranoid or something

"dude, i checked twice, it's locked. relax, man."

he'll try to distract you, by playing games and watching stuff, and just generally kinda trying to be funny to take your mind off of things

if you're having a panic/anxiety attack, he kinda panics too at first, before quickly pulling you away and asking what's wrong. he is sweating very hard

if you're unresponsive, he tries to stay calm but is honestly considering calling an ambulance. like he thinks you're having a stroke

"shit, a panic attack? uh, okay, errr.... take deep breaths, okay? in.. and out. in.. and out. okay, that's good.."

he looks up grounding techniques on his phone and relays them to you until you calm down and catch your breath. he like sends you images off of google of the 5 senses technique randomly and says he figured you'd need it someday

he tries to keep your anxiety in mind, and might slip up sometimes, but for the most part he tries to be careful with his words and actions as to not worry you. he shows his care in subtle ways!!

kyle broflovski

he tries to kinda. logic it out a bit. like if you're feeling insecure he tells you how unrealistic it is for someone to think about one random passerby's appearance forever

he does feel bad though. he doesn't completely understand, but whenever he's feeling insecure he tends to get really anxious about people at school

he usually gets anxious whenever he's doing something wrong or sneaking out. like he's actually sweating and shitting his pants thinking about what his mom will do to him if she finds out

he'll encourage you to order food for yourself, to get yourself out there more, and if you succeed he'll pat your shoulder and smile a lil

if you don't want to, he might dramatically sigh but he'll do it anyways. cuz he knows how hard it is

i do think he'd get a little anxious about asking workers for help and stuff, but he'll be the bigger person... he supposes... smh my head...

when you have an panic attack for the first time, he's like really confused and gets super concerned that you're having a heart attack, and pulls his phone out to dial your parents or 911

"i'm here for you dude! listen- hey, listen to me. it's okay. can- can you-"

he tries to talk to you to de-escalate it, but he gives up and has his hand on your back, while looking up what the fuck to do

'friend havign panjc atgack what to do'

if you're okay with it, he probably talks to your parents about it. he doesn't really trust himself to be able to always calm you down, so he encourages getting outside/professional help

he does try though, and he'll always be there for you in different ways!! like when you need help with something or just need company to distract you, he's at ur door with his xbox 360

eric cartman

you can tell that eric gets a little uncomfortable if you're freaking out or feeling anxious. whether it's because he actually feels bad or just doesn't know how to handle your emotions, you'll never know

but either way, he'll probably just like. sit next to you like "dude, what's up with you?" or in other cases he'll sneakily slip out of the room unseen

he does try to be kinda logical about it, but that's solely because he physically can't speak words of comfort.

"i mean, dude, be seriously. nobody cares about you that much to notice." you speak such kind words eric!!

he doesn't really like it when things get serious, so he'll generally try to transition the situation into something more casual. like he'll try to ease your (his) mood by getting snacks and playing games together, or even begging his mom to take you both to KFC

if you have a panic attack, all of his alarms are blaring and his brain is screaming flight!!!!! flight!!!! run the fuck away!!!!

and he probably tries to, but when you notice him and call his name he physically deflates

he awkwardly turns around and slowly strolls over. "Y/N... heeeeeeey... what's up... duuude..." you can hear the strain in his voice

if it gets to be too much, as in you won't stop hyperventilating or can't breathe, he'll probably alert an adult or take you to the nurse or something. he tells himself it's because he doesn't want to be a suspect of your death

if ur having trouble ordering food he'll gladly take ur place and make a scene to get all eyes on him. "erm excuthe me they athed for no pickleth🤓"

other than when you're voicing your anxiety, he probably treats you the same. i don't really think he'd take advantage of your anxiety unless you were like. butters or heidi or something and he was really trying to get you to do something for him or just trying to. stick himself in your mind. because he's a narcissist and he loves that!!

kenny mccormick

he doesn't relate necessarily, but he definitely understands.

he lives a lot of his life in fear of his next death, and is constantly praying it be quick and painless

kenny is more of a reserved fella, but not really shy or anxious. so if you're having trouble speaking up or ordering something he'll step up and do it gladly!!

i think he'd be pretty decent at comforting. like he'll pat his hand on your back and speak assuring, muffled words

"mm, mmph mmph mmmph! mmph mph mph mmmfmf mmf mph mph mmph!" (aww, it'll be okay. i'll walk you every step of the way, buddy!)

he tries to take your emotions into consideration more, and grabs your hand and squeezes it sometimes if you need a boost of confidence. sometimes he forgets your anxiety and says something rude and feels really bad about it

when you're having a panic attack, he's honestly really scared and expects you to start foaming at the mouth or something

he'll hesitate, but he'll pat your back and try to help you with grounding techniques. the 5-4-3-2-1 in particular is his favorite, and he'll tell you how to do it in like a rlly sweet and calming voice

he's still spooked though, and gets you a water bottle and like a washcloth. he's incredibly thankful you aren't dying or anything

kenny is very good at comforting! sometimes all it takes is a simple moment of eye contact and seeing his eyes crinkle that gives you a surge of calmness you didn't know you needed

tweek tweak

tweek is no outsider to anxiety and stress. he's literally a living beehive with all that damn vibrating

to anyone else, it would seem like tweek had a severe anxiety disorder, or even ADHD. but it turns out it's just a result of his crippling meth addiction and caffiene overdoses

he tries to think about what craigs taught him, about grounding techniques and how to handle a panic attack, and tries to apply those for you

he's shakily take your hand and wrap you in a blanket, making you hot cocoa and helping you slowly come back to your senses

"okay, okay, what are 5 things you can touch? or- no- AGH! was it 5 things you see- hear? no, ACK! i can't remember!"

most of the time if you're feeling on-edge about something, his main goal will be to just listen to you talk and validate your feelings. he doesn't really make it a point to give you advice or try to be logical, unless you directly ask for it

he's great at listening!!! he also doesn't trust his own advice enough to say it to someone else.

he really tries to think hard about what comforts him when he's anxious, and so he tries to use the tactics for you. for instance, he tries to help you get into a hobby like painting to have a bit more control over yourself

hc that tweek loves to draw with crayons so he'll make little drawings of you and him as stick figures being all happy and give them to you. as a treat

overall he is very attentive, and cares a lot. he tries his very best to be there for you, and a lot of the time that results in you two just hanging out or gaming together, so you can both get your mind off of things for a while. it makes him happy to be able to be there for someone else like craig was for him

497 notes · View notes

toshidou · 1 year

Text

Let Me Be Your Lifeline

Pairing // Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn!Reader

Word Count // 2.2k

Tags // gender neutral reader, descriptions of injury, blood, Simon has a panic attack/ptsd attack, hurt/comfort, soap gets mad but lowkey understandably pls don't hate him, reader's alias is Siren, swearing, you help Simon when he needs you most (because you're amazing like that), established relationship

AN // you ever just have the thought of simon just Losing it because you get hurt, and the idea of him just. shutting down spurs you to write just over 2 thousand words about it? no? just me? cool. also this has barely been re-read, so if you see any spelling mistakes, no you didn't <3

Wrong

It’s all gone so hideously wrong.

It was never a simple mission to begin with, retrieving stolen information from people who would die to keep it in their possession. But it was something you had all done before, something you should have been more than capable of pulling off without so much as minor injuries.

The horrifying reality is setting in quickly though, your hand clutched to the left side of your collarbone, shuddering breaths pushed through gritted teeth as Soap attempts to shout something over deafening gunfire for merely two buildings over.

“We’ve got two down, Gaz is working his way to us, Ghost isn’t answering comms. Price is fine, the bullet passed through his leg, but Siren got hit below the left shoulder, they’re losing blood fast, the bullet made a clean entry through the back.” You’re barely listening to the reply from the evac squad, all you catch is an approximate time to pick up, 5 minutes. Apparently, there’s a medic on board. Every cloud and all that, you think, your head lolling down to assess the damage for the 4th time in 10 minutes.

Blood runs in nauseating streams between shaking fingers, soaking your uniform through to the skin underneath, the rough material sticking painfully to your wound, coaxing a hiss from bitten raw lips. Johnny’s eyes don’t leave you, worry etching itself into every fibre of his being, from his tense posture to anxiety ridden eyes, darting over various parts of your body as if examining for more wounds.

“Fuckin’ Christ L.T., how fucking copy,” He grits out, fingers holding his transmitter-receiver so hard that even in your shock ridden state, you worry it might just crumble in his hands. After another few seconds of tense silence, he speaks again, “Captain and Siren are down, evac is in T-4 minutes, and you need to get your ass down here right now, I don’t know where the fuck you are or what you’re doing, but if you miss the deadline, we’re leaving without you.”

For the first time since being shot, tears well against your lashline, unable to tell if your head is shaking as ferociously as you want it to in your weakened state. They can’t leave him behind, they can’t do that. He’s their squad member, their Lieutenant, your partner, the love of your life. You refuse to ever leave him behind, would rather they let you bleed out on this manky floor before you ever let that happen.

And then, a crackle.

“This is Ghost, package received.”

It’s relief that floods your system initially, pure unadulterated elation that he’s alive, he’s alive and he’ll be back, he won’t leave you.

But then his words sink through the cottonwool that seemingly clogs your mind, the gears turning enough to figure out that despite being compromised only a few minutes into the start of the mission, he still went for the stolen information.

In retrospect, that shouldn’t have been so shocking, but after months of domestic bliss with Simon Riley, you had almost forgotten about the Ghost. Neglected the memories of a man who was driven by a near suicidal need to complete missions handed to him. And it fucking hurts, more than the bullet hole through your shoulder ever could.

“What the fuck do you mean package fuckin’ received, we called for a retreat 20 minutes ago Ghost, you were meant to be here, not fucking around trying to find something we could have–,”

“That’s enough, Soap.” The interruption comes from Price, somehow looking as composed as ever despite his injury, the only sign he had been hurt at all were the slight tremors to his hands as he reaches up to his own transceiver.

“Just get yourself back here son, in one piece, preferably.”

“Affirmative, Captain.”

You close your eyes, willing away the tears that threaten to roll down dirtied cheeks, because if you cry, it makes this real, and not some twisted nightmare you’ll surely awaken from, safe in the strong arms of your love.

“Siren, come on, I need you to keep your eyes open, stay in the room with us, okay?”

Gaz? That’s new. Gathering enough strength, you lift your chin, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks as you try to focus your gaze on him.

“There we go, we’re not done with you yet, Sergeant.” Gaz pins you with a reassuring smile, his hand coming to pat your knee as he crouches next to you.

“Ah, I knew you were all just using me for my impeccable combat skills and wicked charm,” you drawl, your lips turning up into a hint of a smile.

“Impeccable combat skills that got you shot in the shoulder, no less.” Despite feeling weak, and slightly woozy from bloodloss, you still don’t miss the opportunity to lightly shove at Gaz’s torso.

“Soap, we’re half a klick out from your location, be ready to extract in 30 seconds."

The momentary light-hearted banter is immediately quashed by a terse silence, the dawning realisation that Simon still isn’t here.

He still isn’t there when you hear the sound of a Humvee tearing down the road to the derelict building you’re all hiding in.

He still isn’t there when Soap creaks the door open, only to be met with a medic and two soldiers carrying stretchers.

He still isn’t there when both you and Price, much to the Captain’s chagrin, are assisted onto thick green gurneys, and carried into the back of the vehicle.

It’s only when your nerves have been frayed to their very core, until you’re mere seconds away from diving out through the small car window when you finally catch a glimpse of someone tall, someone familiar, your Simon. Euphoria surges through your bloodstream, all feelings of pain as the medic begins to assist with your wound numbed by the knowledge that he’s okay, he’s safe, he came back to you.

You seem to be the only one even remotely excited to see him, however. From the moment he near dives into the side door, barely able to sit before the truck wheels spin against gravel and take off down an endless dirt path to supposed safety, a suffocating hush envelops the entirety of the squad. The atmosphere so thick, it suspends you in it, makes your limbs feel like lead where they fall limp at your sides.

Though no one dares speak, unwilling to risk the release of pent-up anger, frustration and fear that crackles through the air akin to static energy, wild and unpredictable, Simon’s eyes hold nothing but utter worry. Dark, frenzied irises flickering from your shoulder where the medic continues to care for your injuries, to your face, though never meeting your gaze head on.

You can already sense the guilt setting in, more than used to how his mind works, lost in a constant battle of morals he can never seem to win. It’s frustrating to watch the way he reprimands himself, shoulders hunched to his ears, hands curled into tight fists against his thighs. The once towering, formidable force reduced to someone human. Someone struggling.

But still, you daren’t say a word, now is neither the time nor the place.

30 agonising minutes later, and the truck finally pulls up outside a safehouse. An old, abandoned factory building, if you had to make a guess. The roof looks like it’s one strong breeze from falling off, but what else is new?

Simon doesn’t take his eyes off you as you’re assisted out of the truck. Doesn’t dare blink when you shoo the medic away and towards a grumbling Price. You try to shoot him your best reassuring smile, the gesture rendered meaningless when you nearly trip over a rock after your first step, only saved by Soap darting forward and steadying you with an arm hooked around your waist.

Simon doesn’t move a muscle. His feet remain planted to the floor below him, and you can’t help but get the sickening feeling that something is very fucking wrong. In all the years you’ve known Simon, you’ve never seen him like this, near paralysed, painted black eyes ridiculously wide, so childlike in their fear. He looks nothing like the man you’ve grown to love, strong and steady in his emotions. And it chills you to the bone.

It's only once the door creaks shut that the silence is broken.

“What the fuck was that, Ghost.” Harsh syllables highlighted by a Glaswegian accent sound from next to your ear, your head twisting to the side only to be met with gritted teeth and furrowed brows.

You barely have the time to process the way that electricity sparks dangerously in the dusty atmosphere before all hell seemingly breaks loose.

“That was me doing my fucking job, Sergeant.”

“Your job is to put every member of the taskforce at risk? When the fuck did you receive that order, Riley? Because I sure as shit don’t remember it.”

Ugly, torrid rage lashes out across the room like strikes of a whip, so powerful it sends you stumbling away from Johnny’s grip and towards more neutral ground, your eyes briefly locking with Gaz’s equally perturbed stare.

“I wasn’t endangering any of your lives by doing what I was trained to do MacTavish, you were all gonna make it out fine whether I completed the mission or not.” There’s something about him that feels entirely too off, though the mask is extending much further than the one that resides on his face. Except this one is splintered, it’s flawed, split edges giving away to insurmountable pressure until it has no other option than to disintegrate, raw, unfiltered emotions left exposed, completely vulnerable.

And all it takes to break down the wall that is Simon Riley comes from the other man opposite you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Simon? What sort of fucked up person lets his team, his fucking partner, nearly bleed out on the floor? Look at them,” A lone, shaking finger points towards you, “They could have died and where the fuck were you?”

“That’s enough, Soap.” The syllables scratch your throat with the force you spew them, but the damage has already been done.

You know that the second you glance at Simon and see nothing but the broken shell of a man, that you were too late. His body is vibrating with the force of his shakes, tremors wracking his body from head to toe, his chest heaving with ragged breaths, like a fish starved of oxygen. He’s having a panic attack. Or a flashback. Or something worse.

“Simon,” You call, keeping your voice calm as you swiftly approach him, ignoring the harsh twinge of pain as you lift both your arms up to curl your fingers around either side of his face, guiding his empty eyes down to you, “I’m right here, you’re safe, you’re okay.”

He gives you no sign that he’s even processing your touch, let alone your words, but you expect about as much. You may never have dealt with Simon’s trauma, but that doesn’t mean it’s new to you.

You keep talking to him, hushed, soothing reassurance along with sweeping fingers against masked cheekbones, physical and verbal reminders that no matter the size of the internal battle he faces, you’re right there with him, guiding him through. It’s only when large hands encircle your wrists do you feel any form of relief, brought nearly to tears as hollow brown eyes slowly ebb to life, pupils shining in the low light of the safehouse.

“You’re here.” His voice sounds scratchy, as though his inner cries were so visceral, they tore at his vocal cords, begging to be released. You’re not sure if you could ever handle hearing such noises from him, not without them plaguing your dreams for years to come

“Always.”

Your response has him crumbling, knees sinking to the cracked concrete floor with a resounding thump; strong arms come to wrap around your waist, near crushing you in his desperate grasp. You say nothing, simply cradling his head to your sternum, fingers soothing over the top of his mask as through they were threading through familiar strands of soft hazel.

You don’t have to look around to know that you and Simon are alone. That it’s safe for him to fall apart here, so you can tenderly piece him back together without prying eyes. You don’t care how long it takes, all you know is that you’ll be there to search through the rubble of his mind and find a new foundation, together.

It’s only after you’ve guided him to sit, swiftly placing yourself in his lap and pushing your bodies together until not a single space exists between you both, do you finally feel him settle against you. Your fingers hooking under his mask, lifting up, up, up, until you’re met with the face of your love, your Simon; the Ghost long forgotten as you place the mask on the ground beside your intertwined bodies.

Surprisingly, it’s him that brings your lips together, eyelids fluttering shut as you sigh against his mouth, following his hesitant lead, a kiss with the only intention of reassuring him that you’re still here, you’re still his.

And hours later, when you both lay on uncomfortable stone floor, arms and legs indistinguishable where they tangle together, you know it to be an irrefutable fact that despite his own beliefs, Simon Riley is by far the strongest man you’ve ever met.

But for those moments when he can’t be strong for himself, you will always be there to catch him, to piece him back together and remind him that he’s still whole, still human, and still yours.

Always yours.

#did i cry writing this #no one needs to know #but anyway i love him #he is tender and fragile pls treat him with care #also #soap and ghost immediately made up after this #have no fear #they are still best friends (/gay lovers but u didn't hear that from me)#simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #simon riley x reader #cod mw22 #simon riley x you #simon riley #ghost x reader #soft simon riley #cod x reader #☁︎⋅writing

1K notes · View notes

sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 9 months

Text

Note: Fighter chapter 6! Direct follow up to chapter 5. Earlier chapters: here.

Warnings: 18+ angst/suggestive/smut/fluff. mention of drugs/drug abuse.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: Sihtric was taught a hard lesson and needed a getaway.

wordcount: 4,5k

Masterlist

'If anyone hears you they'll think someone's getting murdered here!'

'No,' you sobbed as Uhtred held you in place, 'Uhtred, you can't let them take him!'

'Calm down,' Uhtred said, but you didn't hear him.

You escaped his grip and ran after Sihtric, who was handcuffed and shoved out by two cops, apparently for possession of drugs, which you knew nothing about. Once you stormed outside, you were just as bewildered as Sihtric had been, just seconds before you. You saw Finan and Ragnar, standing with their arms crossed as they looked at Sihtric, who was being freed from his cuffs by one of the cops.

'What the fuck is going on!' you screamed as you made your way over.

Sihtric turned upon hearing your voice and he immediately pulled you in his arms.

'Sihtric?' your voice was no louder than a whisper, and you were both too confused to cry or speak. And then Uhtred came outside.

'Relax!' Uhtred said with a firm voice, 'you're not going to jail, Sihtric, those cops are friends of mine,' he nodded at the two men, who then turned to leave. 'We just had to teach you a lesson,' Uhtred continued, 'Ragnar told me about your so-called anxiety medication. And you should know better than to use that crap!' Uhtred snarled and slapped the back of your husband's head.

'Keep your fucking hands off him!' you snapped and gave Uhtred a hard shove, which took him by surprise, and Sihtric simply clung onto you.

'We understand you are both startled,' Finan tried to defuse the situation, 'and we apologise, lady,' he said to you, 'but Sihtric had to understand he shouldn't be taking those pills, and we both know he's a stubborn bastard. You gotta make him feel it, or else he won't learn. He never got those pills from his doctor, Aldhelm knows how easily Sihtric can abuse these types of pills as they completely numb him. Sure, it looks like he's doing fine when he's on them, but once he gets used to them and they stop working,' Finan sighed, 'we don't want to see him go through that again.'

'What do you mean again?' your voice trembled.

'This was way before you met him,' Ragnar said, 'he's not the same guy anymore, and we know that, but we had to get through to him, remind him how this could ruin his life.'

'So… so what are you saying? That my husband is a drug addict?!' you asked as you took a step back.

'I don't use any fucking drugs!' Sihtric suddenly yelled, 'it's just medication and I didn't abuse them! I fucking learned my lesson last time! I just want,' his breath hitched, 'I just want to fucking sleep at night and not worry all day about all the fucking bullshit that goes on in my life!'

'Yeah, and we get that,' Ragnar said, 'but this is not the way.'

'You shouldn't buy this shit off the streets, Sihtric,' Finan said, 'what if you really got arrested, huh? Then what? Did you think about that? Leaving your wife behind like that?'

'You were clearly aware you were in the wrong, using those pills. You need to get some proper therapy if you can't deal with stuff, not medication,' Uhtred said.

'I don't need therapy,' Sihtric retorted, 'I just want to live in peace! With my wife! I- I'm fucking done!' he shouted, hoarsely, with a trembling voice as he brought his hands up to cover his eyes, 'I'm fucking done with this! Everything! I don't want this fucking life anymore! I fucking quit!'

Sihtric's chest heaved up and down so fast, you feared he was going to have another panic attack.

'Honey,' you said as you reached for his hand, and he immediately pulled you against his chest.

'I'm done!' he shouted as he held you tight, 'I'm not fighting anymore! I don't care how much it'll cost to get me out of that contract, I don't care if it will cost me everything I have, but this ends tonight! Fuck you!' he spat to his friends, 'fuck you all for accusing me of abusing medication!'

Everybody became quiet and you all stared at your husband, who was deprived of colour, exhausted, and simply broken to pieces, after once again being accused of doing something he didn't do, this time by his own friends nonetheless.

'If you quit like this, you lose all your titles,' Uhtred said carefully, 'you're so close to that last fight now-'

'Who cares about those fucking titles!' Sihtric snarled, 'why would I care about any of that shit if I can't have a life outside of it, because everyone tries to ruin that for me! Fine, you win. You all win!' he shouted like a mad man, 'congratulations! The people finally broke me, just as they wanted!'

'Sihtric,' you whispered, as he pulled you to his car, 'you-'

'No, please, I just want to go home,' Sihtric said as he fought his tears, 'baby, please, take me home.'

You looked at the Bugatti and swallowed hard, luckily Finan was quick to step in and said he'd bring you two home, as you were both not in any state to safely drive that car. And before Sihtric could protest, Uhtred said he'd drive the sports car back to Sihtric's house, and Finan would give Uhtred a ride back to the gym.

And so you went home, with your overly exhausted husband in your arms as you sat in the back of Finan's car, who eventually apologised for falsely accusing Sihtric of substance abuse.

'I think we need to talk,' you said to Sihtric later that night, after you had given him some space.

You leaned against the doorpost, looking into his eyes as he laid in bed, on his side, hugging a pillow. And he slowly pushed himself up to sit.

'We do,' Sihtric said quietly and weak, 'come here, bunny?' he held his hands out to you and pulled you in his lap.

'Love me?' he asked, his eyes were tired and almost empty of life, 'd-do you still love me?'

'I do. I always love you,' you said as you took his hand, and kissed his wedding ring, 'always, tiger. No matter what. Your past is your past. I just hope it will never repeat itself. And I trust that you told me the truth tonight. I will always be here for you.'

Sihtric closed his eyes with a weak smile, then hid his face in his hands and started crying, letting everything out.

'My love,' you sighed and wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight until he found the strength to speak again.

'I just can't do this anymore,' he eventually said, 'this life.'

'What do you mean? Do you mean us, or your job, or your public life?'

'I don't mean us, you know that,' Sihtric said softly, 'you're the only good thing I have left. If I didn't have you I would've ki-'

'Don't,' you were quick to hush him, 'd-don't say those things, please.'

Sihtric nodded and apologised.

'I just can't do this public life anymore. I love my job, the sport itself, but I hate everything that comes with it,' he chuckled lightly through his tears, 'it doesn't make any sense, does it?'

'But it does,' you said and cupped his cheeks, 'you're not in it for the fame. You just want to compete. But in this day and age every little thing just blows up. You're someone people love to hate, Sihtric, and that's all it is. You are not problematic and you try to stay away from trouble, but therefore people will bring the trouble to your door. They just love to see you suffer. They know you can't deal with all the publicity and that's why they keep riling you up. And it is fair, honey, that you want to quit,' you smiled softly, 'but I know that deep in your heart, Sihtric Kjartansson, you're a fighter, and you don't want to give up this job, because you love it. So you can pull out of the contract and leave everything behind, give in to those who can't stand seeing you succeed. Or you can do this one, last fight, and have a honourable retirement, just as you wanted, win or lose. And remember you're so close to the fight.'

Sihtric heard you as he played with your hands, but he didn't speak.

'What do you think I should do?' Sihtric asked after a while and looked up into your eyes.

'You need to do what feels right for you, my love. And whatever you decide, I will support you.'

Several days later, after hours of talking with Ragnar, you and Sihtric decided to not sue the hotel for leaking their elevator footage, and to also forget about the websites that spread the false articles. You were both done with it and did not want any more media attention, you just wanted to move on.

And after careful consideration, Sihtric also decided to not pull out of his last fight, it wouldn't be fair to himself to rob him of one last professional fight before he'd quit and leave it all behind. Well, not all of it, he still wanted to be involved somehow, but instead of fighting himself, he was thinking of coaching at his own gym when all was said and done. And as Sihtric soon would have to start his intensive training for the cage fight, he said he wanted to take another short trip with you somewhere. He didn't care where to, and said you could pick any place you wanted, he just wanted to get away from everything with you before he had to live without you for six weeks.

And so you booked a short trip to a cabin in the woods, somewhere remote, where no one could possibly bother you and your husband.

'Fuck,' Sihtric smiled, 'how did you find this place, babe?' he asked as you pulled him towards the door of the impressive wooden cabin, which was located on a hill.

'Internet,' you shrugged with a smile and opened the door.

You were happy to find out it looked exactly like it did in the pictures, and you pulled Sihtric with you to the large balcony, which had an amazing view over the national park that surrounded the place. You both immediately enjoyed the quietness outside, as you only heard some birds and the sound of water flowing in the distance.

'You're a lifesaver,' Sihtric sighed as he embraced you from behind, and kissed your neck softly, 'I don't know where'd I'd be without you. I really needed some peace and quiet.'

'I know,' you said and intertwined your fingers with his, 'we both really needed that.'

'Mhm,' Sihtric hummed, 'I love you, baby, so much,' he said and spun you around, 'so, so, so, so fucking much, bunny,' he smiled and kissed your lips, 'my wife,' he whispered and kissed you again, 'my beautiful, perfect wife. My heart,' he cupped your cheeks and gave you another kiss, which was the start of what would be a long, passionate and sweet make out session, which would end with you and Sihtric down on the balcony floor.

'Thank you for dinner,' Sihtric said as he shoved his empty plate to the side and finished his drink.

'You're welcome,' you smiled, 'this actually reminds me,' you chuckled, 'remember I invited you over for dinner the first time?'

'Of course I remember,' Sihtric smiled, almost shyly, 'I was so in love with you already.'

'And so full of yourself,' you snorted.

'True,' Sihtric chuckled and licked his lips, 'I was quite a douchebag, but I still won you over, lady.'

'Only because you're hot,' you shrugged.

'And rich,' Sihtric winked.

'That too.'

You both laughed, and then Sihtric suddenly took your hand.

'I love you, lady,' he said softly, 'you're the only thing truly worth fighting for. You… you really hold me together.'

Sihtric looked at you with soft eyes, and you could tell he was tearing up. Life had been hard ever since you got together with him, but you stuck with him through everything. And the upcoming weeks, before his last fight, were probably going to be the most challenging ones yet as you'd be seperated until the day of the fight.

You both knew it would be a media spectacle and people would be out to provoke Sihtric. And Sihtric didn't say it, he didn't have to, because you already knew he was worried and anxious about it. But you didn't want him to think about that yet. Not now. You had booked this trip so he could finally relax, and hopefully clear his head before he went in full training mode.

You knew Sihtric was very funny and lighthearted at heart, but the last time you caught a glimpse of that man, was that one night in Hawaii, when he danced with you in that small, local bar. And you were determined to find that man back again this trip.

'And I love you,' you said as you got up and pulled him with you, 'and I think we should go to bed.'

'To bed?' Sihtric frowned with a grin, 'already?'

'Yeah,' you smiled, 'I'm in a mood.'

'A mood?' Sihtric was quick to pick you up and carried you over to the large, cosy bed, which had a window view into the thick forest, 'what kind of mood?' he asked as he pulled you on top of him.

'Oh, you know,' you gave him a cheeky smile as you trailed your hands over his body, 'a mood.'

'Hm,' Sihtric hummed with a smile, 'I'm listening,' he said as he placed his hands on your hips.

'I think I want to…' you smiled as you slowly rocked your hips on top of him.

'Want to what?' Sihtric breathed, impatient as you pretended to consider your next word.

'F…' you began.

'Fuck?' Sihtric said quickly, and bit down on his lip as he smiled.

'Fight!' you suddenly yelled and grabbed a pillow. And before Sihtric could even process what you had said, you slapped him with the soft pillow and you laughed.

'What the- hey!' Sihtric said sternly and got hold of your pillow, 'honey,' he sighed with a light chuckle, 'aren't we a little too old for pillow fights?'

'Too old?' you laughed, 'no, you don't think you're too old. You know what I think? I think that you, Sihtric Kjartansson, the world famous welterweight boxing champion, is afraid to compete in a pillow fight with me.'

'Afraid? I don't think so, lady!' he suddenly laughed and gave you a playful slap with the pillow he had snatched out of your hands.

'Has Sihtric Kjartansson got another fight in him?' you taunted as you jumped up and grabbed another pillow, 'or will he be defeated by his wife?'

'Oh, I got a fight in me, lady,' he hissed, amused, and also got up on his feet on the bed, 'and I don't lose a fight.'

'Okay, now that's a lie,' you rolled your eyes and raised an eyebrow, 'you're always boasting,' you said as you dropped your pillow, forgetting your self defence.

'Maybe,' Sihtric grinned, 'but it's also a good distraction,' he said, and before you knew it you felt his pillow hit your face, knocking you off balance.

You yelped when you fell and managed to grab another pillow, which you flung up in an attempt to hit your husband, but he was quick to grab it mid-swing. And as Sihtric tried to pull the pillow out of your hands, he accidentally ripped the entire thing in two, and you both froze as the feathers twirled down around you.

'Oh my god,' you giggled, covering your mouth with your hand.

'Oops,' Sihtric snorted, 'surely they won't miss one pillow here, right? They got loads of th-'

Before Sihtric could finish his sentence, he received another slap with a pillow from you, and he heard you laugh amidst the feathery chaos.

'Distraction!' you screamed just before Sihtric suddenly pulled some martial arts move on you, which made you fall down onto the bed again

'Hey!' you yelled, 'always cheating with your moves!'

'You never said there were any rules, lady,' Sihtric laughed as he got on top of you.

'Do I really need to explain everything?' you snickered, pathetically trying to fight him off.

'Hm, not everything,' he smiled as he trailed his hands over your body, 'but just this one thing...'

'What?' you tried to hide your amusement.

'You really need to explain,' Sihtric said in a serious manner as he smirked, 'what I did to deserve such a hot wife?' he asked and smacked his lips, 'so fucking beautiful,' he sighed and leaned in to kiss you.

'Maybe we should do some exercises?' you teased and pecked his lips.

'Mhm,' Sihtric agreed with a hum and pulled you on top of him as he laid down, 'show me some exercises,' he smiled.

You chuckled lightly and let him believe he was going to have his way with you, while you sneakily grabbed another pillow and surprise slapped him again, before you jumped up and ran off. You heard Sihtric curse something in Danish as you ran through the cabin, not even knowing where to go, but you knew you had to hide from your bamboozled and all riled up husband.

'Bunny!' Sihtric shouted as he stormed out of the bedroom, looking for you to get his revenge.

You desperately tried to hold your laugh as you hid behind the large lounge chair on the balcony, and you felt overwhelmed with laughter and adrenaline as you heard his footsteps coming closer.

'Bunny?' Sihtric said calmly and waited for a sound, but none were heard. 'Come here, baby, I just want to cuddle,' he lied, and you could hear it in his voice.

In your excitement you accidentally let a soft giggle slip from your lips, and Sihtric snapped his head towards the lounge chair.

'Come out, bunny,' he said in an amused, threatening manner, 'I just want to play, my love,' he smiled as he closed in on the chair.

And as soon as you heard his low chuckle you jumped up, screaming your lungs out and laughing like a child, while you ran as fast as you could over the balcony, back inside.

'Honey, stop it!' Sihtric wheezed with laughter as he ran after you, 'if anyone hears you they'll think someone's getting murdered here!'

You ran back into the bedroom and Sihtric followed. But you were already waiting behind the door with a pillow in your hands, and you surprise attacked him again by jumping out from behind the door.

'Hey!' Sihtric laughed as he blocked most of your pillow punches, 'enough,' he said, trying to sound serious, but he couldn't even convince himself.

You loved seeing him smile, and you loved hearing him laugh, so you had no plans of stopping your pillow fight. And you showed no mercy, not even after ripping yet another pillow when Sihtric grabbed onto it mid-swing, and you ran away to grab another.

'My love!' Sihtric tried to breathe in between all his laughing, 'look at this mess, babe, stop it!' he wiped his tears of joy while feathers covered the bedroom floor, leaving a trail that went all into the living room and to the balcony. And more feathers twirled and floated around the two of you as you had a standoff in the bedroom.

'Make me!' you challenged Sihtric and gave him another ruthless slap with a pillow.

'Oh, I will make you listen to me,' Sihtric muttered as he threw his pillow towards you, then picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

You screamed and giggled while kicking your feet, but you knew there was no more escape once Sihtric threw you on the feather covered bed, and climbed on top of you, pinning your arms down above your head.

'Still think you can beat me?' he chuckled as he looked down into your eyes.

'You cheated!' you laughed, 'but since you're such a sore loser, I'll let you win this time.'

'I'm not a sore loser,' Sihtric scowled, telling another lie, 'but since I won,' he grinned, 'I would like to claim my prize now.'

'Oh, shit,' you groaned when you tried to get out of bed the next morning.

'Hm?' Sihtric hummed and reached out to you, still half asleep.

'I'm going to take a shower,' you sighed.

You awkwardly shifted out of the bed and hoped the warm water would relax your muscles, and it did, but nowhere near enough to be able to hike through the national park today, as you had intended. You sulked back to bed, where Sihtric pulled you in his arms with a satisfied smile.

'What's the matter, my love?' he whispered when he heard you sigh.

'I wanted to go hiking today,' you huffed, 'but every muscle hurts after last night... and it's raining.'

'Was the pillow fight that rough?' Sihtric chuckled softly in your ear and pecked your cheek.

'No,' you giggled, 'you were rough, mister.'

'I'm not sorry,' Sihtric shrugged, 'you taunted me. Besides, I'm glad it's raining, because we're not leaving this bed today, bunny,' he squeezed you in his arms.

'But I wanted to go hiking,' you pouted.

'I know, and we can do that tomorrow,' he said and softly kissed your cheek, 'but today I want to make love to you,' he whispered and pecked your lips, 'again,' he chuckled and nuzzled your nose, 'and again, and again, and again.'

'Honey,' you groaned with a smile, 'but I'm already sore…'

'Mhm,' Sihtric hummed and kissed your lips again, 'I know. And I'm about to make it a whole lot worse, baby girl.'

The next day you finally went hiking, albeit a short hike, as you were still rather sore.

Especially after Sihtric had fucked you three times the day before, and then decided that on the morning of the hike, he wanted to apologise for railing you all day, eventhough you had loved it, and he made your legs completely weak again when he simply had you for breakfast. And as your legs felt a little unstable when you walked through the forest later that day, you and Sihtric decided to return back to the cabin early, and he made you dinner in the evening.

'I'm going to take a bath,' Sihtric said later that night, and kissed your cheek.

'Yeah, okay,' you smiled, quickly focusing on your book again as Sihtric walked off.

As you were so invested in the book, you didn't even realise Sihtric was messing around in the kitchen and bathroom, and about twenty minutes later he suddenly came up to you, shirtless, but still dry.

'Still didn't take a bath?' you frowned.

'No,' Sihtric said, smiling, 'come,' he held his hand out to you.

'Why?' you chuckled as he pulled you with him towards the bathroom.

And when you stepped inside you sighed with a smile, and felt yourself tear up.

'Baby,' you squealed and turned to hug the love of your life, who also happened to be a hopeless romantic at times.

While you were too busy reading, Sihtric had filled up the large, heart shaped bathtub with warm water and a lavender scented bath bomb, which turned the water and foam completely purple. He had also lit a dozen candles in the bathroom, had grabbed the bottle of wine and two glasses from the kitchen, and somehow he had scattered rose petals all over the floor and in the water.

'You like it?' Sihtric asked as you felt the water with your fingers.

'I love it, babe. It's... it's perfect,' you smiled and stepped back to him, kissing his cheek before you kicked your flip flops off.

'Good. Because I only want things to be perfect for you,' Sihtric said softly as he watched you undress, 'my wife,' he smiled sweetly, and then suddenly exhaled loudly, as if stunned.

'Honey?' you asked, a little alarmed as Sihtric stared at you with big eyes, 'are... are you okay?'

'My wife,' Sihtric said again, and closed the distance between the two of you, cupping your cheeks, and he kissed you, deeply.

'Baby, I love you,' he sighed, 'gods, my love,' he rasped in between kisses, 'how the fuck did I get you?'

'Sihtric,' you breathed, your hands in his long, loose hair, keeping him close as he quickly took off his sweatpants. 'I love you,' you smiled against his lips, 'please, make love to me,' you said with ragged breaths, 'please, honey.'

Sihtric helped you safely into the warm, purple water, and he was quick to follow.

'Come here,' he whispered, pulling you towards him, 'come here and let me love you.'

You felt his lips on your neck while you straddled his lap, and you quickly got lost in each other. The steamy, candle lit bathroom became even warmer when you both ran out of breath. And you were desperate to feel your husband inside you again, knowing you couldn't have him the next six weeks.

'Ahh, yes,' you smiled as you sank down on his hard length.

'Fuck,' Sihtric sighed and let his head rest back against the bathroom wall, 'oh, I love you.'

'I love you too,' you whispered and kissed his lips.

You carefully rocked your hips, fucking him slowly, wanting to spill as little water over the tub as possible, which was quite the task, but the slow pace was perfect as you both soon breathed heavy, begging and cursing in each other's ear.

'Siht, you feel so good,' you moaned desperately, 'I love you so much.'

'So do you, my love,' Sihtric moaned softly, 'I love you. Fuck, I love you so much,' he suddenly groaned and carefully flipped you over in the water, pressing your back up against the tub, 'my love, my beautiful wife, please,' Sihtric mewled, 'please, I want-' his breath hitched and he moaned heavily, 'oh, fuck, please,' he moaned with a desperate, high pitch as his pace quickened and water gushed out over the floor.

'Oh my god,' you gasped, 'oh, don't stop,' you moaned, clawing your nails into his wet, muscular back, 'I want all of you inside me.'

'Bunny,' Sihtric moaned, hard, and you never heard him with such a desperate tone before, 'I want to make a baby with you, my love, please,' he groaned, 'I want to start a family with you- oh, fuck,' he sighed as you grabbed his hips, pushing him deeper inside you.

'Then give it to me,' you moaned, 'fuck me pregnant, Sihtric,' you chuckled in his ear, 'I want your babies, fill me up, please.'

'Where did you get those candles and rose petals?' you asked, after you had both come down from your high and cleaned up the soaked bathroom floor.

'I brought the candles.'

'And the rose petals?' you frowned.

'Found an unopened bag in the cabinet under the sink,' Sihtric confessed with a chuckle.

'How convenient,' you laughed.

Sihtric shrugged and pulled you in for a kiss, 'I love you.'

'I love you too,' you smiled, but quickly made a sad face, 'I don't want to go home,' you said, 'I'm going to miss you so much the next few weeks, when you're at the training camp.'

'I know. And I will miss you too, my love,' Sihtric whispered and kissed your forehead, 'but we still have one night, so let's not think about it yet.'

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305

#sihtric kjartansson #sihtric x you #sihtric x reader #the last kingdom #sihtric #tlk #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #sihtric kjartanson #modern!sihtric

146 notes · View notes

thought--bubble · 5 months

Text

Kitty-Cat Part 5

Ettore X (Neuro-Divergent Reader)

Warnings after the cut

Kitty Cat Master List

Ettore Master List

Full Master List

Banners by @arcielee

Warnings: mild violence, drug use (I guess?), Dubious Consent, smut. Cockwarming(Kinda?)

A/N: I am so addicted to writing this series that it isn't even funny. 😅😅 Sorry for the brief hiatus, but I will have updates coming out more regularly now.

You wake up the next morning or you think it's morning. It's supposed to be anyway.

You're still a bit sore, but you make your way down to the cafeteria closely following Boyse. You can feel tension in the air. Somethings up.

Something bad is happening

You get your tray of food and sit down next to Boyse. As always, she is rubbing your cheek as she eats and talks with some of the other inmates. Ettore continues to sit alone at the far table, but today, there is something different about him. A twinkle in his eye and a small smirk that seems to stay in place on his face.

What are you thinking about?

You all finish your morning meal and head off to your assignments. You are assigned to work with tchemy in the garden. You like working in the garden. It reminds you a bit of earth. It's the only thing on the ship that doesn't look mechanical.

You make your way to the garden. Tchemy hasn't arrived yet, and since he typically tells you what to do, you patiently wait for him to arrive. Time keeps passing, and still no Tchemy. Something is wrong, you know it.

You enter back into the ship to see if you can find him, although the second you enter, you hear screaming voices.

Your anxiety goes into hyper drive when the loudest voice you hear belongs to none other than Boyse.

This is bad. Very, very bad

When you find the source of the noise you are horrified. Ettore is on the floor smiling up at Boyse with a bloody nose, the blood trailing down into his mouth. Monte and Tchemy are trying to hold Boyse back.

"You didn't hear what he said! I'm gonna kill him!" Boyse screams angrily while she thrashes about trying to free herself.

You stand there looking down at the scene. You start to ferociously rub your face into your shoulder when dibs finally arrives.

"Bring her to my office!" She orders Monte and Tchemy.

"Let me go!" Boyse continues to thrash about desperate to free herself as Monte and Tchemy start to drag her towards dibs' office.

Ettore looks away from Boyse, still laughing, and sets his eyes on you. He still has that twinkle in his eye.

What are you up to?

"Ettore, my office. Let's look at that nose, " dibs says while looking down at him.

He nods and gets up, still smiling, looking rather pleased with himself.

After that the rest of the day went by in a kind of haze. Your anxiety was through the roof and you have had to self sooth all day.

Boyse was medicated and strapped to her bunk for "the safety of others" for attacking Ettore.

Ettore's nose was treated, and he was released to continue his duties. This was another example of how dibs favors the male inmates over their female counterparts.

When it is time for sleep, you are extremely agitated. Self soothing is not your specialty. Without Boyse, you really didn't have a choice. At dinner, Tchemy tried to help you, but it freaked him out, and he stopped.

You and the other girls enter your room. Boyse is already in there strapped to her bunk above yours and knocked out cold.

You crawl into your bunk and stare up at the bottom of Boyse's. You close your eyes, attempting to sleep.

You can hear every little thing as if it is being blasted into your ears at full volume, the light hum of the ship, the breathing of the sleeping girls around you, the scratching noise of the sheets against your skin anytime you make a slight movement.

Sleep brain sleep.

Eyes still closed hands by your sides, you feel it. There's a shift in the energy. Where it was loud just moments ago suddenly everything seems so very quiet. Too quiet.

You roll your head to the left and open your eyes. There he is. Ettore once again in his sleep shorts leaning up against the door frame. Eyes locked on you. You bring your hand back up toward your face and start to stroke your cheek only this time he doesn't stay in the door way.

He swiftly and quietly makes his way over to your bunk. He takes a peak up at Boyse knocked out and a small smile lights up his face for just a moment.

When he looks back at you, that smile is gone and replaced with a look of hunger. He pulls back the sheet that covers you and looks your body up and down twice, then crouches down beside your bed.

He gently caresses your cheek with the tips of his fingers.

"You're gonna be a good kitty for me, yeah?"

Yes

You close your eyes and nuzzle into his hand, not making a sound other than the little purring noises you usually do.

He pulls your sleep shorts and underwear down your legs and off your ankles in one fluid motion.

You falter for a moment, feeling the cold chill opening your eyes and looking down at yourself.

"Shhhh kitty," he spreads your legs apart, placing himself between them. You stare directly into his eyes with a questioning gaze.

He pushes your head back against the pillow and lays down on top of you stroking your cheek.

"Just take what I give you and keep quiet"

With that, he hikes your legs up so your knees are pointing up and your feet are flat against the mattress. He pulls his sleep shorts down to his mid thighs and quickly and roughly enters you.

You let out a squeak, and he quickly places his hand over your mouth. He puts his nose to your cheek and starts to nuzzle.

"Shhh kitty shhh"

You begin to calm and nuzzle back, so he begins to move in and out of you slowly. He removes his hand from your mouth and then pulls his face back.

He pulls himself off your chest, situating himself on his knees, grabbing your hips and pulling you toward him. Then he begins to pound into you, the only noise being the light squeaking of the bed and his slightly labored breathing.

Just take it

His hands grip your hips tightly, and his eyes are glued to where your bodies connect.

You close your eyes and start to lose yourself in the sensations you're feeling. What started off as an uncomfortable stinging and feeling of fullness has begun to morph into something else. Something that feels good.

Ettore removes his left hand from your hip and shoves it up your shirt, grabbing at your breast roughly. The pain and roughness seem to increase the pleasure that is starting to coil in your stomach.

You open your eyes and look at him, his eyes are closed, and his jaw is slack as his pace begins to falter. He takes his hand out of your shirt and pushes your legs up from under your thighs, and pushes them up against your stomach fucking you harder and deeper than before. He grips your thighs so tightly that it hurts but feels good at the same time when his eyes finally open, he's not looking at you he is looking up at nothing. His breathing is harsh, and just watching him experience his pleasure has a pressure building in your lower stomach you are unfamiliar with.

He squeezes your thighs really tight and stiffens inside you before you feel a warm sensation within you .

"Ahhh," he says quietly as he drops your legs back down and lowers himself on your chest again, trying to regulate his breathing. He doesn't pull out, just resting on top of and inside you. His head is next to yours, and he is breathing into the crook of your neck. You nuzzle your face into his, and he lets out a chuckle.

"You really are the perfect little pet"

Part 6

To be added to taglist click here

#ettore fanfiction #ettore high life #ettore #ettore x reader #ettore smut #ewan mitchell verse #ewan mitchell #ettore imagine #ewan nation #ewanverse #ewan mitchell fanfic #jess fics #my red flag bf

71 notes · View notes

perfidious-prophet · 6 months

Text

The fucking things they dont tell you when you fucking start Testosterone.

Yeah, everybody knows about the deeper voice and the dreaded asshair, but these were my unfunny little surprises after 3 months on T. Reminder that shit will always vary from person to person because we're not all clones of each other, whatever.

1. Bottom growth fucking hurts. Sometimes I don't want to wear pants. I knew it would happen, didn't know it'd be so uncomfortable. And it starts fast. Like first dose fast.

2. The irritability goes fucking CRAZY it's like I'm constantly PMSing. I get why dudes punch walls. Oh my god. I know how to keep my anger wraps, but holy shit.

3. On the topic of PMSing. I had temporary worsening of menstrual cramps. Jesus fuck. I was having pain before menstruation started for days, and sometimes just randomly. I hope it doesn't flare up, but it seems to be calming down now. I think my body is freaking out over weird hormone levels.

4. Vocal fatigue. Talking hurts. I expected voice cracks, obviously, but why the fuck does this shit hurt? I don't even want to talk that much anymore. My voice just gives out. It's still deepening, so a win is a win, I guess.

5. Apathy, emptiness, anhedonia, and numbness. My motivation has tanked. I don't fucking care anymore. I just want people to leave me alone so I can take a nap. I already had mental issues before starting T, and I don't think T gave this to me, but it's definitely changed how I feel my mental illnesses. I have to like relearn how to cope and shit. I don't recommend starting hormones if you're an emotionally unstable dumbass like myself. This is literally second puberty, mood swings and teen angst included. I am a volatile, angry little man.

6. Anxiety. Like I said, teen angst. My panic attacks now include intense nausea, which is New and Uncool. Dunno why that happened. But I'm just nervous. There's nothing to be nervous about. I consistently feel like I've forgotten to do homework. I am not even in school anymore. Rad!

7. Psychosis? I had my first intense psychotic break at 14. It lasted 6 months, give or take. I've had shorter episodes on and off since then. My symptoms are stress based. The emotional strain is, naturally, pushing me towards the edge again. I am sure I will explode brilliantly and violently within the weeks to come.

8. Male loneliness is real dudes. Have friends.

9. It's harder to mask. I've been periodically going mute again. I'd never really stopped, but it's more frequent now.

Anyway that's my rant I think.

I'm not telling you not to do hormones. I'm not your dad. But it's not fucking easy. Anyway I have no intention of stopping. I am thuggin that shit out. I had a really really tough time during first puberty, and I suspect I'm going to have issues the second time around.

I am happy with the changes I am experiencing physically. I still feel confident and sure of my identity as a trans man. I am just not very happy about losing control over my mental state again. We'll see how it goes. If I'm lucky, I'll get medicated. I can't afford a therapist right now.

Good luck out there, whoever you are.

#testosterone #hrt #ftm #ftm hrt #gaht #gender affirming care #transgender #lgbtq #trans man #trans masculine #rant post #medical transition #hormones #hormone therapy #genderqueer #borderline personality disorder #schizophreniform

112 notes · View notes

lacontroller1991 · 1 year

Text

In Sickness and In Health (Obi-Wan Kenobi x Sick!Reader)

Main Master List || Star Wars Master List

Requested by @minderni : Heyooo can I request something for Obi Wan and a fem Reader? This is super, super personal and I fully understand if this might make you feel uncomfortable therefore you don’t have to write this if it does.Can you write something for him where Reader is his secret lover but she’s sick, she doesn’t just have a simple cold, something different, not life threatening though? She knows what she has but has never told him, actually no one knows about it because she always had to be the strong one. One evening it gets worse and she’s panicking and finally it comes all out and Obi Wan just holds her and tells her it’s okay? 🥲Totally get it if it’s too much though!

Author’s Note: I hope you like this and are feeling better!!!!

Warnings: Cervical Angina, mention of anxiety attack, symptoms of Anxiety, symptoms of cervical angina, medical talk

Word Count: 1.5k

==========

You don’t remember when the pain started. All you know is that one minute you were completely fine, happy even, and then not even a second later you felt dizzy, your chest feeling like it’s caving on itself and your breath is knocked out of you. Fortunately, you had one of your many handmaidens beside you who had immediately taken you to the infirmary where they had diagnosed you with cervical angina. Since then, you’ve been to so many doctors and have taken so many medicines but despite the medical advancements and knowledge of your illness, nothing stops it from occurring again and again. Eventually, it became one of your best kept secrets. No one beside your personal guard and a select few handmaidens know of your illness, not even your other best kept secret, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

It’s not like you don’t want to tell your secret lover because the stars know that you do, however, your crippling fear of him rejecting you weighed out the urge to tell him and so you keep it a secret, however, Obi-Wan is not an idiot. It didn’t take him long to figure out that you’re holding something back from him. After all, he does have the force to tell him that something is up, however, he respects you too much to press the issue any further, even if it hurts him that you don’t trust him enough to tell him.

It’s a rainy day in Coruscant and the Senate meeting seems to drone on and on. More systems falling to the Separatists. More bullshit lies. More promises and no actions. If you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t know why you stay in politics anymore. You want to help your people in any way you can, but how can you help when all the galaxy’s sources are going towards a war that has no end in sight. The thought makes your blood boil underneath your skin and you can feel your left hand start to tingle, raising your anxiety. “Kriff.” You murmur to yourself, reaching back into your bag and pulling out some medicine, quickly swallowing down the pills and returning your focus to Chancellor Palpatine. 5 minutes later and you can tell the medicine isn’t really helping your cause. You can feel your chest beginning to squeeze tightly, your breaths getting labored and your skin beginning to heat up. Turning to your personal guard, you give him a slight nonverbal cue as he nods tersely, placing a firm hand on your upper bicep and beginning to guide you out the door, not really caring if there’s numerous eyes on you.

“Senator (Y/L/N), is my talking about the war bothering you?” His voice booms over you, freezing you in your spot as your chest continues to clutch itself, the room suddenly becoming very small. Turning on your heel, you see that everybody is watching you. You can feel your heart racing underneath your chest, the sweat beginning to drip down your brow as your vision starts spinning. “Well Senator?”

“I-,” you try to come up with a response but you can’t get any words out before the world is pulled out from underneath you and your vision turns black.

—-------

Obi-Wan walks up the steps to the senate house, looking around in confusion at the fact that most everyone is still there. Typically, an hour after the meeting ends, it’s vacant, allowing for him to easily get to your office without being detected by several people, however, today it's the opposite. The Chancellor must’ve said something interesting, he internally scoffs at his joke knowing that the Chancellor doesn’t have an interesting bone in him, but still, it’s curious to him that there are still people occupying the senate house.

Spotting the familiar brown hair of Padme and curly hair of Anakin, Obi-Wan is quick to rush over to them, confusion written on his face. “Padme, what on earth is going on?”

“Obi-Wan? What are you doing here?” Anakin asks with a smirk, knowing all about Obi-Wan and your relationship, afterall, he’s doing the same thing with Padme.

“I could ask the same thing to you, my former padawan,” Obi-Wan comments at Anakin before turning his attention back to the Senator of Naboo. “Well?”

“Senator (Y/L/N) collapsed in the meeting today. We’re all waiting here to hear what happened.” Obi-Wan’s heart races in panic, yet his face does not show it except for maybe the concern in his eyes.

“Collapsed? What do you mean ‘collapsed’? Is she going to be alright? Can we go and visit her?”

Padme and Anakin share a knowing look before Anakin walks over to his former master, clasping him on the shoulder. “Master, Padme doesn’t know. We expect the Chancellor to tell us more after his visit, but past him, no one is allowed to visit.”

“That’s absurd!”

“Shh, keep your voice down. You need to be more discreet, it’s very clear that you’re worried for (Y/N) and if you keep fretting, people are going to think that you and her are more than friends.”

“Why would they think anything more? That’s all she and I are just friends.”

“Like you and the Duchess? I have eyes.” Obi-Wan’s face burns beet red as the Chancellor steps out, gaining the attention of the crowd.

“Senator (Y/L/N) will be fine. It seemed she just had a minor myocardial infarction. She is expected to make a full recovery, now everyone, please, go back to your work.” The crowd dissipates leaving Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme in the hall.

“Knowing the guards, they’re going to have that place well guarded. If you want to see her take the 3 stairwell to your left and go down 6 flights of stairs, enter through the blue door and that should take you to her room,” Padme instructs Obi-Wan who nods, sneaking off through the halls while Anakin and Padme watch with an amused smile on their faces. “He’s just like you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

—-------

“What on earth happened?” Your previously closed eyes shot open only to see his blue ones staring right back at you.

“Obi? How did you get in here?”

“Darling, I am a Jedi. I have my ways,” he comments, taking a seat at your bedside as you sigh, turning your face away and trying to avoid him. If there is one person you did not want to see, it’s him. You love Obi-Wan, you really do, it’s just that you do not want him to see you as weak, yet here you are. “Why are you hiding from me?” His voice is somber and it almost sounds sad.

“I just don’t want you to see me as weak.” His gaze softens as he gently moves you over, making sure not to disconnect any of the various wires sticking to your body as he squeezes himself onto the bed before pulling you into his embrace as tears flow freely from your face. “I’m sorry Obi. I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for what dear one?”

“I have been keeping things from you. This wasn’t a random thing that happened. I got upset and then my condition started to act up so I went to leave but Palpatine saw me and called me out in front of everyone and then I just couldn’t handle everyone looking at me and then I collapsed and now I’m here. I feel like such a fool.”

“It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re alive and you’re ok.” He tries to soothe you but his words do little to ease your mind.

“No it’s not okay. Everyone is probably judging and talking behind my back,” you bury your face in his chest and he wants to make a joke about how all senators do is gossip, but he realizes that it would not be appropriate in this scenario. Instead, he wraps his arms around your body and just holds you close, kissing the top of your head as your tears subside.

“What do you have?”

“Years ago when I was younger, I got diagnosed with cervical angina. Basically, I get intense chest pains where it feels like everything is pressing down on my chest and I can’t breath, I get dizzy, I get nauseous, it’s a whole mess of stuff and no matter how many medicines I take, it never goes away. Today it just completely took over.” You sniffle as his hand soothing rubs circles into your back, being careful not to hurt you as you clutch onto his robes. “Chancellor Palpatine wants me to take a break from my diplomatic duties for a little bit, but I can’t leave my people now, not where there’s a war.”

“Darling, I’m sure your representative will be just as good as you. You need to focus on your health first and recover from this before you can go back to work.” You nod against his chest before looking up at him through puffy red eyes. “Can you stay with me?” Obi-Wan lets out a little huff of air, using the force to lock the door before turning his attention back to you.

“Don’t worry my dear, I’m not going anywhere.”

==========

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoyed!!!

General Tag List: @marvelousmermaid @himbovillain-anon @babblydrabbly @a-reader-and-a-writer @fairchildflag @tavners

235 notes · View notes

writemywaytoyourheart · 1 year

Text

Bedeviled | Chapter 5: Rotten Company

Pairing: demon!jungkook x female reader

Genre: E2L, drama, romance, angst, horror

WC: 4.5k sorry she's short :(

Warnings for this chapter: strong language, humiliation, depictions of Hell and people in it, anxiety, pain, fear, cruelty, some suggestive content, and some more tEnSioN ;) ((if there is anything I didn't note and you think should be included pls kindly let me know!))

You haven't even been in the third circle for long before your gut is twisting with horror and anxiety.

A few minutes after your panic attack, you pull yourself together enough to move.

A hundred feet away are trees filled with rotten fruit of all kinds; the stench is enough to make you sick to your stomach even when you cover your mouth and nose, but you still feel a strong urge to go and hide behind the trunks.

You don't even need to ask him what this circle is, you're well aware.

It can't be anything but Gluttony.

The demon seems to sense your movement as he finally turns from the vile river to look at you as you stand on wobbly legs, the cuff of your cardigan covering your nose and mouth and your eyes watery as you look back at him.

He doesn't even bother to ask if you're ready before turning and heading towards the rotting forest.

You follow him without a word, whispering to yourself in an attempt to distract your mind from the screams that have yet to cease. It's all you can do to keep yourself from falling into another panic attack.

It doesn't take long to get there, a confusing wave of relief and dread washing over you as you step under the branches of what appears to be a pear tree. The fruit hanging low on it is so moldy and deformed that they hardly look like pears anymore.

Chancing a glance back, you see the river still far too close for comfort, the blind souls still reaching out for a hand that will never reach back.

You look away and put a hand to your head, mumbling to yourself quietly.

JK is leaning against the scratchy trunk of the pear tree, watching while you seem to have a conversation with yourself as you dig the toe of your right shoe into the crumbling dirt.

"-gonna be okay."

He smirks at the few shaky words that manage to drift over to him.

Pathetic human.

The third circle is one of the shorter ones, but it's also one that he's planning on using to his advantage.

He almost had you with that apple.

You were so close to eating it, he could tell. Although, you do seem to have better control over your temptations than other humans...must be why your soul is so untainted.

He wonders why. Why are you stronger than most when it comes to your desires?

Unless...

He looks over at you again to see you wrapping the cardigan around yourself tighter and blinking harshly as you continue to stare at nothing.

Ah...

He just hasn't found your strongest temptation yet.

Odd, since he can usually tempt a human with something even though it isn't their greatest desire. Humans are weak like that; so eager to fall prey to the alluring darkness that they don't even care what they're being fed with.

You must be one of those humans that has no physically pleasurable desires. You should've at least been tempted by now. Even the ones that call on him for reasons far from sexual have a hard time holding themselves back from him.

Huh.

JK squints at you, trying to figure you out.

With the way you stare suspiciously at the fruit, it doesn't appear to be Gluttony either, much to his frustration. If it was, the fruit would appear beautiful and ready to be eaten. Ready to suck you into this circle and never let you out.

But only time will tell for sure, you're definitely beyond starving by now. Of course, you won't die from it. Perhaps you'll break when he least expects it, Gluttony doesn't have to be your weakness if you are hungry enough. Even the rotten fruit will start to look bearable.

He really had his bets set on the second circle, but you didn't fall into his game like he had thought you would. Either you really want the Flame, or you're blind.

The demon scoffs in irritation at the fact that you've not fallen for his looks, which makes you glance up at him.

"Hm?"

"Nothing," he snaps.

You look back at the pear hanging dangerously close to your face.

If anything, the fruit makes you less hungry with how foul it looks and smells. If he thinks he's gonna fool you in here, he's got another thing coming.

That wouldn't make sense though.

He's not stupid, he can't possibly think for a second that you would eat anything here, no matter how hungry you get.

You peek at him once more to see him glowering at you in disgust; as if you're one of the offending pieces of decayed produce dangling near him.

Sighing, you look away again and keep running through all the thoughts spinning around in your poor exhausted head.

You had a set plan, you thought you knew what you were getting yourself into. Everything is so muddled down here, it's almost like-...

A plan?

I had a plan?

You blink in confusion at the sudden emptiness inside your brain.

What-

Smacking the side of your head gently, you mumble to yourself.

JK watches curiously as you turn in a circle and then finally land your gaze on him.

The look of complete and utter bewilderment does not go unnoticed by him as he continues to look at you silently.

"Where-"

Your mouth snaps shut so quickly it almost startles him.

Recognition floods your gaze, and you clear your throat and pull at the sleeves on your cardigan before yanking it more closed, wrapping it snug around you.

"Can we just get out of here?" You say, a bit sharper than usual.

"Sure you don't want one?" He gestures lazily at the sad excuse for a pear hanging between you two.

You just stare at him blankly.

A long moment passes as he stares back before you look down.

It happened in a millisecond.

He thought he imagined it for a moment, but he's sure he didn't.

You almost laughed.

He saw it, he'd swear by it.

It was brief, but obvious.

You had to stop yourself from breaking into a smile at his words.

A smirk slowly spreads on his face as he pushes himself away from the tree trunk and walks closer to you.

Maybe he assumed too quickly.

Perhaps you aren't as guarded as he thought.

"Well?"

You look at him to see he's looking at you pointedly. Then you glance down and see one of his hands is gesturing you in a random direction.

"Oh, are we going that way?" You ask, trying to keep your voice neutral.

He doesn't give you any reply apart from a raised brow.

"Why don't you go first?" You ask, confused.

"I insist," he says, gesturing again.

You sigh.

Great.

After another moment of trying to read his facial expressions, you shrug your shoulders and start walking further into the forest.

The direction he pointed leads you opposite of where the river with the sinners sits, which you will not complain about. Seeing so many people suffering and being unable to help them is physically sickening. You're not sure how much more of it you can take if you continue to actually see the prisoners of Hell.

It's one thing to read about it and to be told what Hell is like, it's entirely different to actually walk through it and witness everything first-hand.

"How-"

"-long until the fourth circle?" The demon cuts you off rudely, "Maybe if you shut your trap and walked faster, you'd find out."

Your nose twitches.

"Why are you such a grump?" You grumble, arms hugging your own waist as you watch the ground to make sure you don't trip on anything.

"Maybe it's because I'm constantly surrounded by idiotic mortals like you."

"Ugh, just- whatever."

He scoffs at your childish attempt at winning an argument.

"You're so- ack!"

Your remark is cut short when your foot catches on a rock and you're suddenly sprawled on the ground, groaning in pain.

One look back over your shoulder and you see him just standing there and looking at you with zero emotion on his face.

Your cheeks burn in embarrassment as you sigh. This is probably the hundredth time you've tripped. You're not usually this clumsy, what’s wrong with you?

Another moment of dead silence passes.

"Are you gonna help me up or are you just gonna stand there?" You finally snap.

"I'll give you three guesses."

You bite your lip as you try not to scream.

Then you hold your hand out, "Help me up, and maybe I'll walk faster."

You hear a loud sigh before his hand grabs your elbow and unceremoniously yanks you to your feet.

He hadn't meant to pull you as hard as he did though.

He certainly hadn't meant to yank you right into his chest.

You lose your footing and collide into his hard body; your cheeks immediately flaring up with heat once again. After a moment, you gather your strength enough to look up at him.

To your surprise, he's already looking down at you.

His pitch-black eyes bore into yours, a few different emotions flitting through his; each as brief as the flap of a hummingbird's wings.

At first, he looks confused, then pissed off, then a glint of mischief clouds over until his gaze becomes neutral again.

That doesn't last long as he leans down toward you, the tight grip on your wrist that went unnoticed until now getting stronger when you flinch.

"What's wrong, little mortal? Afraid I might try something?"

You gulp.

"Or perhaps...you're afraid you might want me to?"

You refuse to back down and look away from him.

"That's pretty naughty for a good girl like you, don't you think?" The smirk on his face makes your knees weak, "Then again, it's always the good girls that are the freakiest...am I wrong?"

Maybe you should look away.

This isn't going to plan.

But you can't.

When you try to avert your eyes, you physically cannot.

A sweep of panic goes through you at your momentary paralysis as the demon draws even closer.

Move, ____.

Move.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Not y-

His lips are mere centimeters from your own when you finally find the strength to escape. You aren't able to pull away, your muscles are not doing anything you ask of them. Thankfully though, you just kind of go limp and crumple out of his grip, his lips missing your own by the briefest of seconds.

"Ohh, this one is beautiful!"

You hold up a blue flower and wave it around, laughing as you add it to the rest of the flowers in your fist.

Gathering your skirts in your free hand, you walk over to the water and cautiously dip a toe into it, pulling back and shrieking when you feel how cold it is.

"I'm not sure I wanna..." You call out.

Looking over to where your shoes and stockings are resting on a rock, you turn back and let your curiosity get the best of you as you dare to get onto the rock that's about a foot into the small river. You almost lose your balance, laughing as you struggle not to fall.

Carefully, you move from rock to rock, until you're almost in the middle of the river. You look over to where the sun is setting, joy settling deep into your heart as you look across the water where you're trying to get to.

Your foot slips suddenly and your arms pinwheel as you accidentally let go of all your skirts and go tumbling into the small waves, the sound of your own shrieks of laughter getting cut off as the cold-water rushes over your head.

You come to, spluttering and coughing.

"W-" You cough violently, your nose burning like fire as you try to wipe at your eyes, "Wh-"

To your complete and utter befuddlement, you're completely drenched in water; your hair stringy and dripping as it hangs in your face.

With a few more gut-wrenching coughs, you're finally able to breathe. You move the hair from your eyes to see him crouching in front of you, a lazy grin on his face, his black hair framing the freakishly handsome features he's somehow able to display.

"Sorry, I didn't leave any for you to drink," he pouts comically.

You clear your throat and mumble hoarsely, "I wouldn't have taken it anyway, I'm not thirsty-"

He rolls his eyes and stands up swiftly, "You know, you're probably one of the weakest humans I've ever had the displeasure of meeting."

You ignore his words as you wring out your dress and cardigan; gathering the soft cloth in your hands and twisting it until water comes dribbling out. You don’t have time to figure out why you keep losing consciousness randomly.

"Why'd you dump water on me?"

"Would you rather it had been something else?"

You look at him for a moment to see how serious he looks, so you shake your head slowly.

Not going to put it past him to get any ideas.

The demon crouches again, closer this time, scrutinizing your face even as you flinch away a little.

"You look like a wet sewer rat," he states before harshly flicking your forehead.

"Ouch!" You exclaim, holding your forehead and glaring at him.

His nose wrinkles, "Smell like one too."

You freeze at that, then you take a moment to lift your arm and cautiously sniff your sleeve.

The moldy smell that you inhale makes you gag instantly.

Oh no.

Not this.

Anything but this.

You can't handle it; you can't handle the smell of mold. Now you're supposed to get through the rest of Hell inhaling it? You thought you could make it through this circle and be done with the smell.

What a fool you've been.

The horrors of each circle aren't going to leave when you exit them, they're going to stick with you the entire time.

You want to take a deep breath to calm yourself down, but the smell is so bad you literally can't.

When you catch his eye again, you see him watching you curiously, clearly wanting to see how you'll react.

Closing your eyes, you conjure up some comforting images and remind yourself of why you can't break your promise.

You need to see this through.

You need to.

_______________________________

Each step you take, a nasty squelch reaches your ears.

Your shoes are ruined, there's really no saving them. But your wet shoes are the least of your problems. You've started to shake, which only makes your aching tummy ache all the more. If there was anything in your stomach, you'd probably be throwing it up right now. The smell surrounding you is so putrid you can't control the occasional gag that leaves you.

Not to mention, you keep having moments of blank confusion and suddenly forget where you are and why you're here.

They only last a few seconds, but the anxiety that comes from them sticks with you as you trudge along through the wilted forest, shivering and trying to block out the screeches and attempting to keep your head on straight as he keeps telling you to change directions every once in a while, muttering about how useless you are.

You're not sure why he won't just lead the way, but you don't have the strength to ask him and listen to more of his insults.

Everything is going to be okay.

This circle is going to end eventually, they all will. You’re not a prisoner here.

Well...

No, you are not a prisoner here.

Not like they are anyway...

You lift your sopping wet wrists and cover your ears as you keep walking.

I can do this.

I can-

"Ah!" You shout when the feeling of someone grabbing your arm roughly startles you out of the trance you put yourself in.

"Why are you plugging your ears, you fucking moron?"

You stare at him, eyes wide as you try to ground yourself and bring your heartrate back down after that scare he just gave you.

He scoffs in clear disgust, "I said you're going the wrong way like fifteen fucking times! Why don't you just pay attention?! Maybe we won't take a million years to get there!"

You flinch a little at the level of his voice.

"Sorry," You mumble.

He laughs in disbelief, "Are you that much of a damn doormat? Shit, you're more pathetic than I thought-"

"What do you want me to say?!" You shout back, startling him for a second as your patience snaps, "If I talk back, you'll waste time thinking of every insult in the book and if I don't then you grill me about how pathetic I am! Gosh, you're insufferable!"

"Me? I'm insufferable?!" He takes a step closer, "We're only in the third circle and-"

"I know we're in the third circle! I know that! I know that! I KNOW THAT!!" You stomp your foot so hard that it shoots a sharp pain up your shin. But you don't care, you're tired of biting your tongue, "You've said that about a thousand times you idiot!” You get closer and raise yourself up on your toes to get in his face.

“You think I don't know where we are after you've so kindly reminded me with every breath?! Are you truly so thick-headed that you think I need to be told that again and again?? Talk about pathetic! Y-"

"You wanna fucking talk about pathetic?!" He grabs the collar of your dress and drags you an inch from his face, "If you don't cut that shit out, I'm really going to fucking hurt you. I don't have to kill you to hurt you, you disgusting little roach. You think I want to be babysitting your lazy ass when I have better things to do? If you want to see pathetic, take a good long look in the mirror, maybe that'll knock you down a peg," he growls.

Before you can say anything more, a horrible, unexpected pain shoots through your wrist and you cry out.

"Not so courageous with your words now, huh?" He whispers as you gulp and shake in disbelief.

"Stop crying, it's not even broken," he snaps.

A pained gasp leaves you when he finally lets go, an ugly bruise already blooming all around your skin where he held you.

You carefully bring your wrist to your chest and breathe in deeply.

It feels like a heartbeat is pulsing just below your hand, each flutter bringing a new wave of pain.

He could've broken your wrist.

You look at it and wince when you see the blue and purple now decorating it.

All he did was squeeze and it nearly shattered all the bones in your wrist. You're surprised he stopped himself from ripping your hand off all the way.

JK watches you, just as he always does.

Could physical pain be something that might weaken your stoic attitude?

Seems like it.

When he notices you're looking down and refusing to make eye contact with him, he chuckles.

He wanted to see how shaken up you'd get when it sank in that he can physically hurt you all he wants as long as he doesn't kill you. He's been holding back, but maybe he doesn't need to.

Seems like that realization finally struck a nerve.

Literally.

He chuckles and shakes his head before turning and walking away, not bothering to wait for you.

Then he calls over his shoulder, "If you value your pretty little limbs, you'll do what I tell you to. Keep walking.”

The sound of your footsteps behind him makes him chuckle again.

______________________

You say nothing, for hours and hours.

He doesn't hold back though, continuously throwing random insults at you.

Whether it be about your looks, voice, or general existence, he isn't lacking in nasty remarks in any area. All you can do is keep walking, cradling your aching wrist in your good hand and staring at the ground numbly.

You misjudged him.

You foolishly let yourself believe that he wouldn't hurt you. It seemed like he was desperate enough to make the deal that you underestimated him.

He’s not what he looks like.

You forgot what he is, you made a mistake.

But it won't happen again.

The stinking forest starts to thin out; the trees become smaller with more space between each of them.

Still, you say nothing.

It seems that he's finally run out of breath, or he just got tired of you not reacting, because he stopped talking nearly an hour ago.

In a way it's almost worse, you had grown used to his deep gravelly voice mumbling in the otherwise dead silence. Blocking out what he was saying wasn't too hard after the first few hours.

After that, you clung to the sound of him speaking almost like a lifeline. It was something to focus on aside from the moldy air enveloping you and the distant screams that eventually faded into unsettling nothingness.

Now you have no choice but to hyperfocus on the smell and the sound of decaying fruit crushing underfoot when one of you steps in an unfortunate spot.

Part of you wonders if perhaps he did that on purpose to torture you as much as he can. He might have realized you were zoning out.

You wouldn't put that past him. He’s literally wired to notice changes in behavior and what might affect certain people. He can’t read your mind, but he doesn’t have to when he can read your body like a book.

It comes as a surprise when you realize he's stopped, and you look up to see a large gate. There's an inscription on it, but you can't even see all the words since they're covered with a bunch of ivy that wraps around and around the whole gate.

It's nearly twice the demon's height, nothing compared to the entrance to Hell, but still magnificent in its own haunting way. It almost looks like the gate in front of a haunted mansion that high school kids go to in the middle of the night to go ghost hunting.

Its once elegant structure is clearly worn down, rusted and nearly entirely covered by the ivy that seems hellbent on strangling the previously golden gate.

"We're already at the fourth circle?" You ask quietly, voice cracking after not using it for who knows how long.

He nods.

JK stares at the entrance to the fourth circle, thoughts swarming in his mind.

He had hoped to use the third circle to his advantage, but the timing was off. There's no way you'd listen to anything he said willingly after that fight.

He needs you to do it willingly, there's no other way. If you don't open that mental door, he can't go through it. There was no choice but to hurry to the next circle.

"Fucking stupid," He mumbles to himself as he steps forward and reaches out to touch one of the vines.

You gasp a little and step back subconsciously when the plant comes to life and slithers away from the demon's touch. You can't tell if it's a vine that's suddenly got a mind of its own, or if the gate is actually being choked by snakes.

It goes too quickly for you to see well enough.

The vines (you're really starting to think they might be snakes) all shrink away, retreating into the darkness, a low hissing sound echoing in their departure.

Ok, maybe you're not crazy and it really is snakes.

His tall frame takes a step back from the gate before he turns to look at you, impatiently expectant.

"What is it this time?" You ask hesitantly, still clutching your injured wrist, afraid of what you might need to do to pass through.

"Something important to you. Something you believe you can't possibly go on without." He looks almost bored.

"What? But I already gave something to the ferryman, I don't have anything else-"

"Then you can't pass through."

You take a deep breath, "That's not an option."

He shrugs.

You grind your teeth and walk up to the gate, looking at it closely.

There's got to be another way. It's not going to end like this.

"This is Greed?" You ask, still not facing him.

He doesn't answer, but you can feel the confirmation hanging in the air.

What're you supposed to do? You have nothing left, all you had was that ring, you didn't bring anything else with you...

You must have stared at the gate longer than you thought, because suddenly he's speaking up impatiently, "By the time we get in you won't need that Flame, you'll be dead already."

Biting your lip, you send an annoyed look back at him over your shoulder.

"Come on," he says as he comes up next to you, settling closer on your right than you'd like right now, "Are you really that selfish that you need everything you've got? You need more than is necessary?"

That's when you realize what he's referring to.

The unnaturally cold hand brushing against your shoulder just under your cardigan makes you snap back to reality and push him away.

Your glare does nothing but amuse him as he looks at you with undeniable mischief in his gaze.

"Come on, little human," he taunts as he keeps getting closer, his voice low and sultry, "You sure you need this measly dress? It hardly does you any good."

There's no way you're going to walk buck naked through Hell.

No.

But...

Maybe you won't have to.

"Stop being so stubborn. Don't you want what you've come so far for?" He whispers, too close for comfort.

You look back at him steadily, "Yes I do."

I don’t care what I have to give up, I’m going through that gate.

His smirk melts away when he sees you bend down and instead of lifting your dress off, you carefully pull off both of your black slip-ons, being hyperaware of being gentle with your wrist.

"These will work, right?"

His jaw clenches, but before he can speak, the hissing sound grows louder, and you turn your head to see one of the slithery little guards slinking from the darkness.

Swallowing your fear, you hold out the offering and watch as the long green snake vine wraps around your right wrist and up the shoes, squeezing them tight before uncoiling from your shaky limb and disappearing into the darkness once more, dragging the shoes with it.

A long low creaking sound follows, and you see the gate start to open slowly.

Anger is physically seeping from the demon standing behind you, but you pay it no mind.

You did it.

Who needs shoes anyway? No biggie. You try to comfort yourself, knowing the pain that’s about to come.

One step forward makes you clench your jaw. The ground is even more painful to walk on than you thought it would be.

It feels uncomfortably warm, not scorching though, which you're grateful for.

There are a bunch of little prickly things scattered about, poking you harshly.

JK laughs quietly when he realizes you're still paying a heavy price even though it isn't the one he'd hoped he would get to witness.

Patience.

It'll get there eventually.

You ignore his laughter and start walking.

It's painful, but not something you can't handle.

It could be worse, you remind yourself as your body quivers involuntarily.

The demon shakes his head and follows you into the fourth circle.

The golden gate creaks lowly once more as it shuts, then the vines creep forth and strangle it once again.

___________________________________

a/n: im so sorry it took 2 months T-T i will do better i promise, pls let me know what you think as always! ily

Tag list; @kookxin @butterymin @telepathytae @kooliv @highoffbaddecisions @meanum @smitssharon02 @kmpac @ggukkieland @jjanjankook @sugaslittlekookies @hobispriteu1306 @kimchibrat @slowlydeliciousjiminie @screamertannie @i-dont-give-a-fok @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @ohyeahjk @babycandy111 @ttipa @ggukcanim @era-genius @katlumiiine @xmochiloverx @sopikooo @berryonasummerevening @jamlessstars @bangtannie7 @idkjustlovingbts @iftheworldiswritten @nuttykittypainter @geniejunn @mal99 @ane102 @mrswang17 @jeonssme @ashbxnny

#jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook demon au #jungkook smut #bts fluff #bts #bts reactions #bts angst #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts demon au #demon!jk #demon!jungkook #bts smut

228 notes · View notes

adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass · 4 months

Text

PSA - If you are walking your dog without a leash in a shared public space you are kind of being a dick🐕

I had a period of severe anxiety especially when walking outside. Despite this I did my best to force myself to go outside once a day if only for a few minutes to improve my physical and mental well-being.

So there I am doing my little walk around the neighborhood already struggling to keep my anxiety in check, I’m almost home, relieved that the torture of going outside is almost over. I look behind me (as you do when you expect the world to pounce on you at any second) and I see a woman walking with a big dog unleashed. The dog is walking next to her no problem not looking agressive at all.

Now I’m not afraid of dogs in any way shape or form. We had a giant rottweiler growing up so I really have no reason to be afraid, but since I was already overwhelmed with anxiety this really freaked me out and I started walking faster, but so did the dog lady.

I actually don’t know if what happened next really happened the way I remember it, but I keep looking back and they keep getting closer. In that moment I remember a close family friend who got attacked and bit in the head on a walk by an unleashed dog. I think about the stitches she had to get, how she became so afraid of encountering dogs that she couldn’t take her own dog for walks any longer. Thee lady and the dog keep coming closer and I start panicking even though I’m fully convinced that this dog looks nowhere near even considering attacking. Next thing I know, I look back again and I see this big black dog running up behind me and just scream like I’ve never screamed before.

I step off the trail and sort of freeze. Embarrased but also afraid and I end up sitting down and sort of rocking myself trying to control my anxiety.

The dog lady comes over and tells me

”It’s okay, he’s friendly.”

She gives me this look like she doesn’t know what to think of me. I start profusely apologizing explaining that I just got really scared but that I’m actually fine. She doesn’t really buy it (understandably as I was starting to hyperventilate) She sort of half-heartedly asks if there’s anything she can do and I tell her to please put a leash on her dog. However rather than doing that she starts telling me over and over how friendly and safe the dog is and I just kinda shut her out just asking her to please leave. So she does. I sit in the grass for a good 10-15 minutes probably trying to calm myself down, feeling incredibly ashamed and guilty over having such a big emotional reaction which is of course not helping me calm down.

As I’m trying to muster the courage to get up and walk the remaining 2 minutes back home the lady returns without the dog and again asks if she can do something to help (which was actually really nice of her but in the moment it just made things worse as I felt pressured to ”feel better” for the sake of easing her discomfort) I kept telling her

”Thank you but no, I just need some time to calm down”

After going back and forth a bit she eventually leaves and after an additional 5-10 minutes I’m able to get back up, finish my walk and return to the safety of my home where I break down in tears. Ashamed of my reaction but also just so angry.

Listen, dog people, I get it. Your pup is probably super well trained and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I believe you, but just because you know they’re well behaved doesn’t mean other people know. Even if they know fear can be incredibly irrational and difficult to control. It should be obvious that in shared public spaces you should be respectful of others by leashing your dog. There are dedicated spaces for dogs to run about without a leash but on your daily walk where you have a high likelyhood of encountering lots of people is not that space. It’s unsafe not only for others but for your dog. Some people may attempt to attack your dog out of fear in order to defend themselves.

So please, for the safety and well-being of everyone, just leash your dog

#rant post #personal rant #unpopular opinion maybe?#just leash your damn dog #mental health #personal #dogs #dog ownership

38 notes · View notes

hoedamn-eron · 10 months

Text

baby, please - part 5

You meet up with Santi about your news, and it goes as well as you thought.

Warnings: Mentions of being sick, so emetophobia warning. Santi is a little mean at the beginning, but it's understandable. Brief mention of drinking alcohol. Talks of abortion (I am personally pro-choice). Talks of failed birth control. Actually proofread but still prone to mistakes. Word count: 2,322 F!Reader, no use of Y/N.

These are your texts. These are Santi's texts.

Part 4 ● Series Masterlist ● Part 6

The coffee shop was too loud for the time of day. It was nearly evening, for God’s sake. You suddenly questioned yourself about inviting Santiago here, so last minute, where it was so crowded, but it was a busy environment where it wasn’t as intimate as a restaurant, so Santiago wasn’t so pressured to think it was a date (because it wasn’t).

Also, you didn’t know how predictable he was, so you would rather be in a room full of people, despite how loud they were.

You were a little early, because since you put the phone down to Santi earlier that night, your nerves had been eating you alive. The anxiety was sitting heavy in your stomach, making you shift in your seat uncomfortably.

Or that was the throw up, you couldn’t tell much anymore.

You had ordered an iced latte but hadn’t touched it. You should cut down on the caffeine, right? You ordered it out of habit, really. And because it was always so warm and humid. But if you were seriously thinking about keeping this baby, then you would need to change your lifestyle choices. Like wine nights. Oh God, you’re going to have to give up wine on wine nights. And sushi. You loved sushi! You could feel the tears flood to your eyes, and you took a shaky breath, your hands closing tightly in fists as you try to calm down. Of all the things to be upset about -

“Hey, sorry, you been waiting long?”

You jump at Santi’s sudden appearance. You hadn’t realised he’d arrived, and damn, you forgot how good looking he was. It wasn’t fair. How were you supposed to tell this Adonis of a man that he’d gotten you pregnant from a one-night stand? You hadn’t even spoken since!

You shake your head, realising you were taking too long to answer. “N-no. No, not long at all.”

Santi nodded as he sat down, frowning a little as he looked at you. “I gotta say, I was surprised to hear from you.”

You nod at him, looking down at your fingernails as Santiago ordered a coffee to the waitress. It surprised you that he ordered a cappuccino; you expected him to be a black americano kind of guy. You didn’t look back up at him as the waitress walked away, the nerves growing tenfold.

You couldn’t do this.

“Hey, cariño.”

You look up at him, and he was looking at you with a mixture of concern and confusion, obviously at your demeanour. You gave him a shaky smile. “Sorry.”

“What’s going on?” Santi asked. “We haven’t spoken since our date and you call me out of the blue, is everything okay?”

You look at him, opening your mouth to say something, but close it immediately. You couldn’t do this. You could just live in ignorance. You could just tell him that you wanted a catch up, just to check in, nothing suspicious, then go on with your lives and never speak to each other again. He’d never have to know.

No, he deserved to know. That wouldn’t be fair. He might have chosen to be child free, and you have no right to hold this over him. You’ll just have to ease him into it.

“I’m pregnant.”

Oh, that is not how you were supposed to say it.

He stops, and blinks at you. You could feel your chest tightening again, and you quietly panicked to yourself at the look on his face. Santi looked like he was about to have a heart attack. His usual golden hue had paled, and his breathing looked a little laboured.

Gone was the confident, sure-of-himself man you had met a few weeks ago. You had just thrown his world upside down.

“Excuse me?”

You take a deep breath, averting your gaze from his. It was easier to say it the second time. “I’m pregnant.”

“Is it mine?”

You tried not to be hurt and angry at him, because you get it. Why wouldn’t he question it? If you both had had a one-night stand with each other, then he was under every impression that he wasn’t the only one you had been sleeping with. You nod at him. “It is yours, but if you want a paternity test, I’m happy to do it.”

“But we…” he paused, before taking a deep breath and burying his head in his hands. “We used protection, I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, that…” you grimaced, feeling your skin prickle with embarrassment. “That was my fault. I hadn’t realised my protection had expired.”

Santi froze, looking at you with an unreadable look on his face. “What?”

You wince at his harsh tone. “I know, I’m sorry – “

“You’re ‘sorry’?” Santi asked, leaning forward, his eyes practically glowing with anger. “You take a stranger home on a first date and don’t think to check that your birth control is up to date? How do you even know it’s mine?”

Wow, okay. You tried not to let it get to you, that he pretty much just called you easy. “I know it’s yours, because you’re the last person I slept with.”

Santi groaned, burying his face in his hands as he leaned his elbows on the table. “I wasn't expecting this at all when you called.” He then throws his hands up in defeat.

“I understand that this is a difficult situation – “ you cut yourself off when the waitress brings Santi’s coffee, and he gives her a small thank you. Once she was out of ear shot again, you continue. “It’s a difficult situation for both of us, but I didn't want to keep this from you. I thought you had the right to know.”

Santi huffed a laugh without humour, shaking his head. “Fantastic. I’m glad you let me know.” He stood abruptly, abandoning his coffee and promptly walking out the coffee shop, not even sparing you a glance. You flop dejectedly back in your seat, wiping the tears that finally fell from your eyes. You hadn’t expected him to be on board. You hadn’t even expected him to accept your invitation for coffee at six in the evening.

Sniffing and giving a final wipe of your eyes, you dig around in your purse and throw down a ten-dollar bill for your untouched coffees. You stand and leave the coffee shop, wrapping your arms around yourself as you make your way back to your car.

Not before you had to duck into an alleyway to throw up again.

You make it back to your apartment, leaning against your door, closing it before sliding to the floor. You stare ahead of you, your thoughts going a million miles an hour. You did the hard part. You told Santi, although it hadn’t ended well. It was evident that Santi wanted nothing to do with you, or this baby. So now you had to decide what was best for you.

And what was best for the possible foetus.

God, you had to stop calling it that.

You hear nothing from Santi for the rest of the night. You were tempted to send him a text, possibly apologising for ruining his life and telling him you’d never speak to him ever again, but you thought it would be best not to (obviously). Tensions were high and you both needed to take a day to calm down.

After another restless night of little sleep and researching your options regarding the pregnancy, the side effects of if you go down the termination route, and the pros and cons of pregnancy in general, you go into work the next day feeling like shit. You merely make your way into the office and take a seat at your desk, ignoring Emily’s concerned stare. “You look awful.”

“Thanks, Emily,” you muttered sarcastically, already digging through your bag for your headphones. “Exactly what I want to hear first thing on a Monday morning.”

“Sorry, it’s just…you look like you should take the day off.”

“I’m fine, Emily.” And with that, you plug in your earphones and concentrate on work.

You tried to get on with your day, but your heart just wasn’t in it. You found yourself thinking more and more about the situation you were in. Realistically, you weren’t in a great position to have a baby. Your apartment was small, and you were still young. You made a good amount of money, but babies and children in general were expensive. You would have to give up an awful lot of your personal time. You don’t have a great support system; your family were states away and barely talked to you.

And the father currently wanted nothing to do with you.

But at the same time, you were able to move to a bigger place if you wanted to. You were good with money, and you had a fair amount of savings, enough to support yourself and a baby, really, for a few months at least, until you could go back to work. You may not have much family around, but your friends would be there to help you. Gabrielle had children of her own, she would know and understand what you’re going through.

Santi might come around.

You bite your lip, your brow furrowing as you type out an email to a potential new client, not really seeing the words you were writing.

You were at a ‘good age’ to have a child. And although you weren’t sure if you wanted kids, this may be your only chance, with how your dating life was going. If Santi didn’t want to be involved, you would be fine. You didn’t need him, or his money for child support. You didn’t need a man.

“You’ve been staring at your screen for the past five minutes, are you okay?”

You blink, looking at Emily. You lightly shake your head before turning back to your screen. “I’m fine.”

Emily tutted, before scoffing. “Look, you’re obviously not feeling great. You look pale and you’re chugging your water bottle like you’ve been walking in the dessert.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes, as you type away at another email. “I’m just coming down with a cold, Emily, I’m fine.”

You block out Emily’s concerned rambling as you send your email to your OBGYN, requesting an appointment at her earliest convenience.

You received a text from Santi four days after your encounter at the coffee shop, on the Thursday night.

Hey.

You take a swift inhale through your teeth. You didn’t think you would hear from him so soon, or at all. You were caught a little off guard. You were feeling exhausted, from what you have now come to accept as morning sickness, and the tiredness. And you were feeling so bloated that you just wanted to sit on your couch in your comfiest pyjamas and eat pint after pint of your favourite ice cream.

You wanted to reply to him, but you also wanted to make him sit there and sweat for a reply. He didn’t even have the decency to call you. You chastise yourself as soon as the thought comes; he’s just as freaked out about this as you were. You weren’t being very fair.

You put him out of misery after a few moments.

Hi.

How are you?

I’m okay. How are you?

I’m fine.

You’re about to ask him why he’d contacted you, but a flurry of texts come through, one after the other.

I’m sorry for how I reacted on Sunday. That wasn’t okay.

You’re probably going through a lot.

Well you are going through a lot.

I wasn’t expecting you to tell me you were pregnant with my kid.

Well I wasn’t expecting to be pregnant with your kid.

Touché.

What do you want Santi?

I want to apologise. Properly, in person. And I think we need to talk about the baby.

You almost, almost, let out a cry of relief. You were finally going to be able to talk about it and come to a decision like civilised adults.

I understand if you're sceptical and want to confirm it with a DNA test.

Might as well not beat around the bush. You’d said it when you met up with him on Sunday, but you just wanted him to be reassured that his confirmation for peace of mind was just as important in this.

I appreciate your honesty but I need some time to think about this. I mean, I'm not ready to be a father. And what if it's not mine?

Your breathing hitches and your heart skips a beat in your chest. You knew it was a possibility that he didn’t want to be a dad. You were still unsure if you wanted to be a mom, but you would be logical about it. You eat the last scoop of ice cream before placing the empty contained and spoon on your coffee table. A little dairy courage.

I understand your worries, we'll just have to deal with them as they come. I'm not asking you to make any decisions right this second. But I hope you'll be there for me whatever the outcome will be.

You hesitate before pressing send. You instantly start to feel the panic. Were you too forward? Were you too assuming? What if he told you to downright ‘get rid of it’? That was a pretty cut-throat way of telling you to fuck off, to never see him again.

Can you meet me tomorrow?

#triple frontier #santiago garcia x reader #santiago x reader #santiago garcia x f!reader #santiago garcia #oscar isaac #pregnant!reader

94 notes · View notes

the-flaming-nightmare · 4 months

Text

Regressuary 2024 Prompts

This is gonna be my second attempt at Regressuary, so I've decided to make prompts of my own this year! 🌞🦖✨

Everyone is more than welcome to use them (I would honestly be really flattered if you did lol), so by all means, use them if you wish! 💞

I've actually been working on some of these prompts in advance since September or October last year. I'm so SO excited!! I'm actually feeling really confident that I'll be able to complete it this year! 😁😁

I look forward to see everyone's lovely creations next month! 🥰

1. Character A comes down with the flu and ends up regressing. Character B stays over to look after them.

2. Character A is sick but refuses to admit it and rest, leading to an inevitable drop in headspace when they're poor over-exhausted body can't take the pretending anymore: in comes Character B to care for them in their time of need.

3. Character A gets food poisoning, prompting Character B to look after them when they regress.

4. Character B accidentally says a naughty word in earshot of Character A. Character C is not impressed when they return home to discover A's enthusiasm for this new word.

5. Character A throws a massive tantrum and gets put into time out by Character B.

6. Character A gives Character B a makeover–while they're sleeping.

7. After spending a week of vacation in headspace, Character B attempts to re-potty train Character A in preparation for the coming school/work days ahead. A is not having it, and shows B exactly how they feel about it by having an "accident" outside of their pull-up.

8. Apocalypse/Littles are Known AU: Character B saves Character A from a zombie attack and takes them in.

9. Littles are Known AU: Character A, who's been in and out of Little Foster homes for many years, is taken to the hospital by their current Foster Caregiver for a broken foot. Character B is A's doctor, and upon examining them, realizes their broken foot might not have been as accidental as their Foster Caregiver said it was.

10. Littles are Known AU: Character A is feeling some anxiety on their first day of Daycare, but Character B knows just what to do to ease their fears.

11. Character A and Character B are roommates. One day after spending the evening regressed while B was out with friends, A accidentally left their sippy cup out on the kitchen counter. The next day when B comes into the kitchen for their morning cup of coffee, they make the unexpected discovery. An awkward but enlightening conversation between A and B ensues.

12. Character B comes home to discover Character A lying in bed surrounded by what looks like an entire box worth of popsicle wrappers.

13. Character A gets their period while regressed and goes to Character B for help and comfort. Having taken care of a regressed A while on their period a handful of times before, B knows exactly what to do for them.

14. Character A contracts the mumps and gets taken care of by Character B.

15. Character B gets Character A the puppy they've always wanted for their birthday.

16. Littles are Known AU: After months of waiting, Character B and Character C finally adopt and bring home Character A.

17. Character C has to leave for an overnight stay out of town, leaving Character A and and Character B to themselves for the first time since A started regressing with them. B manages to keep A distracted most of the day, but it's when bedtime rolls around that C's absence really hits A hard. B ends up staying up half the night with a very distressed A.

18. Character A does something dangerous and almost gets themself gravely injured in the process, which ends in them getting a spanking from Character B.

19. Character B and Character C take Character A on a trip to the beach.

20. Character A and Character B have a sleepover at Character C's house.

21. Littles are Known AU: After Character B and Character C end up having a biological child, Character A has a hard time adjusting to the new addition to the household.

22. Littles are Known AU: Character A is left on the doorstep of Character's B and C on Christmas Day.

23. Character A and Character B get into a fight over what to watch, which ends up resulting in B hitting A. Character C has to come in and deal with the situation.

24. Character A gets their wisdom teeth removed and wakes up regressed. Character B takes them home and looks after them.

25. Character A makes Character B a homemade card/gift for their birthday.

26. Character A accidentally eats something they're not supposed to and Character B has to rush them to the hospital.

27. In attempt to pet a wild animal while out at the park, Character A ends up getting scratched/bit by it. Character B comes to their rescue and aid.

28. Character A and Character B bake a cake.

29. Character A has an allergic reaction and regresses. Fortunately, Character B is there to help.

#regressuary #regressuary 2024 #agere fandom #agere fanfiction #age regression #writing prompts #writing challenge #writing #my prompts #thekingspeaks

36 notes · View notes

alexander-23 · 1 year

Text

Larissa Weems x student!reader headcanon?

Basically student has anxiety attack after seeing the monster themselves and Larissa comforts them.

I was out for a late night walk since I was unable to sleep, one of the many wonderful…. effects of insomnia. I wasn’t far from the building but close enough to the fence that I could see into the woods. I was on edge with the many monster attacks as of late, but the walks always helped me the best. As I’m walking by the fence, the monster slams into it reaching its hand through to grab me. I fall over to avoid it but still get a scratch on my arm. I stare at it in shock as it backs away to climb over the fence. At the sight of that, I stand shakily and run back to nevermore for safety.

As I’m running through the halls, I continuously look back for the monster. I only stop when I run into Principal Weems. We both fall to the ground, but I attempt to scramble to get up.

Principal Weems pulls me closer to herself in an attempt to talk to me, “Y/N dear, what’s wrong? What has you so frightened?”

I look in the direction I came from scared the monster is still coming after me, “monster……I..” I’m gasping for air, “I saw it!”

“Slow down, what do you mean?”

“It atta-“ I try to get more air into my lungs as she squeezes my hands, “it attacked me”

She looks me over and spots the bleeding scratches on my arm. In an instant she lifts me in her arms and brings me through a door. It’s dark with a dim light behind me. Principal Weems holds me tight, “It’s alright Darling, I’ve got you, you’re safe here” she whispers. She places me on her bed and kneels between my legs. She cups my face softly and looks at me with gentle eyes. “Oh honey….we’re going to breathe together, alright?”

I give a small nod in agreement and do as she does.

In for 8 seconds , out for 5

“That’s it darling, keep going”

In for 8, out for 5

She leads me through this exercise until I’m breathing normally again. She lets go of my face and moves to stand. She slowly backs away, “I’m just going to my bathroom to grab a first aid. You can see me from here, I promise”.

She turns and goes into her bathroom squatting down to retrieve the kit from under the sink before returning to my side.

She pulls at the sleeve of my shirt a bit, “do you have anything on under this?” I nod and she helps take my shirt off. I’m left in my sports bra and a cropped tank top.

She slowly cleans my wound and wraps my arm to keep it protected. She then guides me to her dresser and pulls out a long sleeve shirt of hers to cover me back up.

“Would you like to stay with me tonight?” I nod my head and she guides me back to her bed. She tucks me in with a kiss to my forehead and a gently Goodnight. She stays close by until I fall asleep and watches over me for the night.

Master List

#x y/n #reader insert #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x student reader #soft Larissa Weems #protective Larissa Weems #monster sighting #wedneday #Hyde #anxienty

169 notes · View notes

morgansunflower · 1 year

Text

Broken Wing

Batmom! Reader X Bat! Sons

Warnings:heavy angst & explicit language

Words:1550

Arthur's notes! Third P. O. V

Requested taglist @too-strong-to-lose

Batmom helps each of her Robin's broken wings.

It'd been 3 days since things had finally got back to normal. Grayson had thankfully returned the mantel to his Dad and was able to return back to Blud-haven. His baby brother was back. Dick however had missed the family dinner last night claiming he had trouble in Bludhaven he had to take care of. Batmom wasn't buying it. During the time when Bruce was gone, Grayson was under too much pressure. He was OK, really he tried to convince himself. Grayson sat in his chair as his heart cried knowing he was alone. He'd been patrolling and working with the team nonstop. He was growing distant with everyone. He never gave himself a chance to fully grasp everything that was falling apart. Batmom decided to go check in on her son. On her way she first ordered take-out from big belly burger. She walked up the steps to his apartment with the bag of food in hand. She uses the key he gave her for emergencies. She opens the door to the dark room. It was a complete wreck, Alfred would have panic if he saw this. She hears a shallow breath from his bedroom.

"Grayson?"

She instantly drops everything as she thinks she hears him suffocating. She opens his door seeing him touching his neck as he felt he can't breath. His eyes were shaking and his hands felt they were on pins and needles.

"Dick! Son! It's OK!" she touches his shoulders as his panicked eyes looked into her "hey listen to me, listen to my breathing" she follows through the breaching exercise she taught Jason, Grayson did just that "good job son. Feel my hands you're safe" she encouraged, he looked down feeling completely helpless as his guilt ate at him. "hey look at me.. please look at me" she pleaded

He takes a deep breath pinching the bridge of his nose "I don't.. I don't know what to do anymore mommmm" he said with a shallow breath.

"you don't need to have all the answers sweetie, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other"

"Jason are you ok?" Batmom asked her son over the phone.

He takes a deep breath trying to calm down.. Her heart broke in two recognizing the anxiety in his voice.

"where are you Jay?" she looks out the window seeing the hard rain pouring down "are you ok son? Are you in the dry?"

She grabbed her rain coat still on the phone with him. Jason felt defeated. He'd been sleep deprived, endlessly working himself so he could avoid the inevitable of him not being ok. She uses the tracker to follow to his location.

"you're safe, you're OK I'm here. I'm coming to you right now baby-bird.. Tell me what you feel?"

"I feel the rain..."

....

As she made it to his location Jason sat on the ground curled upward as if he was a child. She uses her umbrella to walk to her second Robin. She kneels down to him. He lifts his head with his eyes heavy with emotion mixed with lack of sleep. His panic attack was the third one in the last 5 days. She reaches to touch his face rubbing his soaking wet forehead. He began to cry. His heart was heavy, so heavy. He wanted to feel, nothing and he feels everything. She hugged him kneeling down. Jason cried in his mom's arms trying to bring himself back together.

"c'mon let's get out of the rain, we'll go home. I'll make you some sweet bread" she suggested

He reluctantly nods, he knew it wasn't going to be easy and that he'd have set backs, but he's not alone "ok.. Mom"

Y/N noticed the coffee pot both in Tim's room(that she did not like) and the one in the kitchen were remaining quite empty. She tried to tell herself that he was focusing on a project.. But her heart was so worried. She tried to talk to him but he kept avoiding her. Tim opened the Manor door returning from school.

"hey Tim, did--" he quickly cut his mom off shutting the door behind him

"sorry Mom I'm too busy to talk right now, see you.. Later!"

He ran off up the stairs before she could respond. He barley talked or ate. She walks into his room seeing the empty Starbucks cups, empty monsters, and empty coffee pot. Tim was typing on his laptop while in his bed. His eyes were bloodshot and baggy. He looked exhausted.

"Tim.." she sighs "this has to stop"

"I uh I have to recalculate the coms and ah.. I need to.. To"

"you need to sleep son.. what is wrong Timothy? I want you to talk to me, I'm your mother or at least legal guardian.. What's happening to you that you are neglecting yourself"

"... I'm fine" he sighed, she knows that's a lie.. He looks away from her feeling like he was a disappointment to her "I never wanted to be a failure to you"

"Timmy! You are my son. I love you, you could never fail me"

He didn't know if the lack of sleep was making him feel more emotional or more likely his emotions had been tightly held for too long. Y/N walks sitting on his bed. She wraps her arms around him. He began to cry feeling her comfort take away his anxiety.

Duke sat on the roof watching the sun go down. Dick and Cassandra just left for patrol after talking with him. Maybe Y/N doesn't know yet.. He hoped not really. He just didn't want her to worry. He had just moved in 6 months ago and was still adjusting to the new family. He couldn't understand where he went wrong. Things were going so right and now it's all wrong. He hears movement, he looks to Y/N. She had just gotten off work when Bruce told her what happened.

"hey"

"hi"

She sits beside him she places her hand on his back.

"I.. Everything was going perfect. I got a family, I was with a girl and.. She doesn't want to be with me for a reason I can't even figure out.. What's wrong with me?"

"not a single thing is wrong with you son. If she can't see how absolutely wonderful you are than she's not for you"

"thanks.." he takes a shaky breath

She kisses his head "well for once the Manor is empty and I'm off for the night to. Want to watch a movie and eat ice-cream?"

For the first time in a while he smiled. They went inside she made two bowls of ice-cream. She walks to the movie room Duke smiled. He then began to think about his mother that died not even a year ago. He reaches his arms to hug her. She hugs her son tightly. At the end of the day he still had all of his family.

Damian takes a deep, he should be stronger than this. He shouldn't feel any pain. He wanted to her to hold him. He sits by his parents bedroom door closing his eyes. His father was on a league mission. He remembered the nightmare he had, or more like a memory of his Mom's near death experience. She had a few close calls but 5 weeks ago.. She was gone, missing for 3 days until they finally found her, but she was gravelly injured in a coma. Damian felt responsible. He should have been able to save her pain. He was terrified she was not going to make it through the night. They were on patrol together when she disappeared. She gave him the only breathing mask, because his was broken. She was protecting him from Scarecrows fear toxin. She ran away before the poisonous gass made her attack her own child. Once he ran after her, she had disappeared. He felt so terrible he couldn't even look at his family. Damian hated feeling everything so deeply, he was a lot like his older brother in that sense. He wanted to let himself break down his walls and open the door. He knew well, that Y/N would welcome him with open arms. Though to admit defeat.. To admit he's truly scared. He remembers her holding his hand with her weak grip. She was far too fragile to even be touched he thought. She was strong but he'd never seen her in so much pain. Damian covers his face with his palms as his tears swelled his eyes. Batmom's eyes open from slumber, hearing the crys of her baby bird. She quickly leaves her bed to take her robe. She cautiously opens the door unaware, but fearful that one of her children had a terrible frightening nightmare. She sees Damian sitting on the floor in tears. Her heart drops. She leans down to touch his arms. She kisses his face and holds him up to her arms. Damian swiftly hugged her sobbing, he felt her heartbeat. He loves her so much. She's his mom.

"shhhhh shh I'm here, it's OK son" she cooed. "I'm here baby"

"forgive me mother" he begs

"Damian Wayne! There is absolutely nothing you have to apologize for, I'm ok. Do not blame yourself for anything son"

#Batmom #batmom x batfam #batmom x damian wayne #Batmom X Tim Drake #Batmom X Duke Thomas #batmom x jason todd #Batmom X Dick Grayson #Robin #bittersweet #Angst #Comfort #batfamily #fluff #emotional hurt #batmom #PTSD

186 notes · View notes