#i know its next month but im getting top surgery next week so i know i'll be out of it lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

squeaksinc · 4 months

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2023 creative year in review! 💦💦

The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.

costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!

the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.

thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.

More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.

like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.

I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.

in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.

for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads

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startrekin-it · 1 year

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Post top surgery tips

As of posting this I am one month post top surgery- most of this was noted down within the first fortnight of my operation. I know there are plenty of these posts floating around but I figured I would add my own experience and advice to the mix ✌️

Do not be afraid to ask for help, and stand your ground on your limitations after surgery

For some people this may not be an issue but for me i have always struggled to ask for help- if you have just had top surgery you physically do not have the capacity to do everything yourself. PLEASE ask for help as and when you need it. ESPECIALLY concerning your work life, should you go back to working soon after

No heavy lifting. In fact avoid lifting anything heavier than your blanket or a tablet.

Take any medication particularly pain medication offered/prescribed

You may think- this pain isnt too bad, i can manage this pain. Firstly, you are lying to yourself. Secondly, you should not ‘have’ to cope with pain. The goal is to heal and rest in the first two weeks and for that u need to be as comfortable as you can be.

Depending on the pain medication given you can run the risk of becoming constipated- so please ensure you have some laxatives or something to assist you- and start taking them regularly following your operation along side this pain medication. Do not wait until you are constipated this will cause you a world of pain.

PILLOWS: pillows and cushions are your best friend. If youre like me a front sleeper, or even a side sleeper, the healing process is going to be hell on your sleeping pattern. I cannot recommend constructing a little pillow fort around you in your bed enough.

Remove the possibility of rolling over and your comfort will increase whilst trying to sleep. [Update: I am a month post op and i still would not risk laying on my front yet but i can comfortably lay and sleep on my side]

Just because you can get a T-shirt on does NOT mean you can get it back off again.

I pulled one on without thinking when i left the hospital- and it wasnt until i was home and ready to go to bed that i realised i was stuck. PLEASE if you do not already have any stock up on button up shirts, or borrow some for the time being.

Just because you think you feel fine does not mean you are ready to walk around for extended periods of time

I went for a ten minute walk from the bus stop 4 days post op thinking it would be fine. I was not fine it felt awful which brings me onto my next point…

SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. If you have bandages/bindings around your chest slow your walking speed down.

I am a fast walker and that was FULLY half of my problem and why such a trivial walk for me hurt so much. Walking fast. Public transport. Anything that will jolt your body suddenly may cause you to feel a stinging pain.

Honestly after a week and a half I was feeling pretty good. Good enough to go back to my campus anyway, and other than not being able to carry too heavy a bag I was all good.

My only major advice is to listen to your surgeon and any after care they suggest- and dont feel uncomfortable about reaching out to them if you have any concerns about how you are healing or you are having any problems. Eat your veggies, drink plenty of water and make sure to keep moving around once in recovery✨

God speed, and although this was not an extensive list its all ive got to offer.

[ @wrathofbones good luck for February, im sure it will all go fine- and I hope you have a speedy recovery too]

#trans #transgender #transman #top surgery #post top surgery #transmen

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kpop-with-mars · 2 years

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|everything you are is beautiful|Hyunjin x trans reader|

{hwang hyunjin was your best friend from kindergarten to middle school going separate ways after high school and growing apart overtime, years later you would have a talent for playing an array of instruments and become a small artist under jype, but then when you see stray kids you recognize hyunjin but the thing is he doesn't realize who you are, reason being you had been transitioning after graduating}

paring{hwang hyunjin x trans(ftm)reader}

tags{angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, pining, best friends, mlm, found family, coming out, comedy, crying, depression, dysphoria, happy ending}

☣WARNINGS☣{im a trans boy but im sorry if i miss some things or misrepresent some trans people, swearing, angst, big sad argument near the end, depression, body dysphoria, coming out, mentioned someone outting you}

word count{2,3k+}

A/N{reader is same age as hyunjin but a bit younger by a few months, this fic will be available on ao3 as well}

{d/n = deadname}

enjoy!

He's beautiful

beautiful is the only way to describe hwang hyunjin, beautiful in the sense that he could make the ugliest outfit In the world make him look like a god, beautiful in a way that makes you wonder for a second if he really is this kind just for the camera but then you meet him and his personality is like moonlight reflecting on a pond in a quiet forest, so calm and peaceful to anyone and everyone but most of all beautiful, his voice, talents, hobbies just make him so beautiful he left people wanting to be as talented as him or look like him or be as rich him, but he always left you thinking

'why can't my body look like that? why couldn't I be born the same way he was?'

You've always been dealing with dysphoria even after top surgery and starting testosterone you can't help but want to scream when you get called a 'lady' or 'ma'am', its so hard because in your head you think that if only you had been born like hyunjin you wouldn't be dealing with some the problems you've gone through, like the slurs, the bullying, your parents disowning you, all of the things you experienced just because you want to be boy,

You're regularly around stray kids for most of your job, you are an idol too after all, and over all of the time you've had to reconnect with hyunjin you and him became friends like you were back in middle school always joking around poking fun at some of the members but never crossing the line with any of them and enjoying eachother's company and even growing some secret feelings for him, but you felt like he couldn't love you, he didn't even recognize you from when you two were younger and he would sometimes slip into conversations about how he misses his best friend d/n, he just couldn't love you because to you its clear he loved better as a girl,

You feel as though now that you're away from all of the people including your family that don't support you, everyone has to hate you, but not hyunjin and the rest of stray kids they've always felt like a safe space for you and there always gonna be with you, every time you think they're going to hate you for being trans they always show so much love even though they don't know yet,

"hey y/n-ah were gonna have a little sleepover party at the dorm you wanna come along" seungmin asked "of course ill be there" you responed excited to go spend some time the group after weeks of promotions and interviews.

you arrive to stray kids dorm wearing some comfy and casual clothes that Felix got you on a little date shopping with him and hyunjin, you come into the dorm and make your self comfortable on one of the recliners sitting next to han and hyunjin playing smash Bros on there big ass tv, "y/nnie you wanna play with us?" hyunjin asks you handing out a little switch controller for you to take "oh sure!" You say a bit startled by hyunjin talking to you while your head was in the clouds, but before you guys can start another round jeongin comes running into the living room dragging minho behind him "let's play truth or dare!" everyone immediately stopped with what they were doing and formed a circle on the floor, "alright first, han, truth or dare" minho said as he looked at the quokka "dare" "alright then I dare you to make out me" "challenge accepted!" the two of them disappeared into the other room to get some privacy, "so, that happened" bang chan said quickly brushing it off, some awkward silence between every one for a few minutes "should we wait for them-" Felix was cut off by han and minho exiting the room both of there faces redder then strawberrys "how the fuck did you two manage to give eachother hickeys, you were gone for less then 5 minutes" seungmin remarked minho glared at him "well you see seungminnie when a man and another man love eachother very much-" "nope, stop don't say anything else I don't need to have the talk again thank you"

Everyone laughed as han and minho sat back down, "okayy now, y/n" you perked your head up when you heard your name "truth or dare!" jeongin demanded in a sort of wizard voice "um, im just gonna go with truth" you responed

"y/n, what is something about you that you wouldn't want most people to know?"

Your heart sank at the question and all you could feel was panic, you knew that were supportive of the lgbtq+ community but you wondered if this was the best place to tell them, you couldn't lie and say something else because they basically know everything about you, expect one thing,

"you okay?" Han questioned you becoming more worried along with the other members, "yeah im fine, im still thinking" hyunjin took this as a sign that you might not be okay, he holds your hand to let you know that he's listening and he'll be there for you, you take a second to look at hyunjin and his lips curve into a small smile, and you smile back, becoming less stressed as you take a deep breath,

"Im sorry I didn't tell any of you years ago, but now I think im ready..." you look up to the rest of them their eyes filled with love and understanding,

"im transgender"

You couldn't help but laugh because of how nervous you were, but you were feeling so happy that you didn't have to worry about their thoughts about trans people because you knew that they would always support you and not Pressure you into coming out to them,

"we still love you y/nnie, its okay!" Felix hugged you tightly you hugging back equally tight "im glad you told us y/n, thank you for trusting us" bang chan got up to rub your back being the father of the group, a wave of euphoria rushes over you feeling like you could do anything and everything now that that weight has been lifted from your chest (literally), "that doesn't make you any less of a man to me, you're still the best workout partner I have" chanbin stated sounding like he'll punch anyone that says otherwise,

"maybe we should do something else now, any ideas?" jeongin asked looking at the others "how about some popcorn and movies" everyone agreed in unison to seungmin's request "alright then me and jeongin will get started on the popcorn and you guys can queue the movie" bang chan and jeongin got up and headed to the kitchen while every one else was getting comfortable on the sofa's,

hyunjin sat next to you as the movie played, then he got close up to your ear "im glad you told us y/n, we're proud of you" he whispered pressing a light kiss under your eye turning back to watch the movie while you felt your face heat up.

the next couple of months would by just as normal with the promotions, comebacks, etc, expect your feelings for hyunjin would grow more and more intense just by looking at him no matter what he was doing, he always seemed to capture your heart with ease just by laughing or looking into his eyes, he was just so captivating by everything he did he could just be breathing and you would still think he's beautiful,

'he couldn't love me back' you'd think 'i don't even know if he likes guys' your intrusive thought would sting at your heartstrings, but it was true you didn't know what his preferences were and even if you did would he love you back?.

during your break in between promotions you hung out with han, jeongin and hyunjin relaxing on the sofa and chatting with the three of them, when the conversation suddenly went to dating "y/n hyung are you interested in anyone?" jeongin wondered "no, not really" "hmm what about hyunjin hyung?" you all looked at hyunjin who was busy looking on his phone "I mean...yes?" han and the maknae both gasped in unison but your anxiety was slowly kicking in as you realized what's about to unfold, "spill the tea" han egged hyunjin on as his took a drink of his water like it was wine, "well I haven't seen her since high school but I just can't stop thinking about her" every fear in your body grow more with every word hyunjin said, "well what's her name???" jeongin questioned focusing his whole being on hyunjin,

"d/n"

your ears started to ring when you heard that name, you wanted everything to stop and just go dark, anything to rid you of this feeling that felt like your heart was gonna stop, "tell us more about her" "well she was really talented with instruments and could easily just pick something up and start playing, boy she was amazing" hyunjin said in a dreamy voice holding his face in his hands "wow she sure sounds great, what do you think y/n?" jeongin cocked his head in your direction his eyes filled with excitement, "she kinda sounds like a bitch" you muttered feeling anger begin to take over you, you just couldn't stand it when people praised you before you transitioned saying that you were 'such a talented young girl' and that you 'looked so much better back then',

"why are you saying that y/n!?" han's expression changing to shock at your words "yeah don't be so salty" jeongin said teasingly trying to lighten up the conversation "just because she's talented doesn't mean she's not a whore" you responed not even caring at this point, hyunjin's eyes turned dark not understanding why you're acting this way "why are you saying all of this y/n?, you don't even know her" hyunjin yelled standing up from his seat "oh no hyunjin i know her, 'good grades, loved by her friends and family, such a talented and sweet young girl with a bright future ahead of her'" you yelled back getting up from the sofa "what's your point!?" hyunjin scoffed getting increasingly more angry "but then one day someone found out one little thing about her that she couldn't change, then told everyone that she knew and then she lost everyone, her friends and her own family, all b-because..." you looked down as you felt giant tears begin to form in your eyes that threaten to fall as you were overwhelmed with sadness and self hatred, "because what?" hyunjin questioned still angry but becoming more worried by the sound of his voice, you try to wipe your tears away before looking back up at hyunjin,

"all because she didn't want to be a girl"

you fell back onto the sofa crying as jeongin patting your back trying his best to comfort you "i always looked at you and thought 'one day im gonna be like hyunjin and finally be seen as a boy', you've made me feel better about myself at times when I thought about hurting myself, I look up to you because to me I think everything about you is beautiful and I want to follow in your footsteps" hyunjin sits next to you crying as he puts his hands on your face "i-im so sorry y/n, im such an asshole" he sobbed looking down away from your eyes, the other two members silently leave to give you two some space and work things out, "your not an asshole, im sorry I didn't tell you I was so afraid of what you might say that I just stuffed down all my feelings for you" you responed lifting hyunjin's head up as you wipe away all the tears on his face "how do you feel about me?" hyunjin looked into your eyes as you pause for a second to think about your words "I love you hyunjin, more then you could ever imagine" you hug hyunjin so tight that you could feel his heartbeat against your chest as you buried your face in his shoulder, hyunjin picks your face up from his shoulder in order to face you, both of your lips almost connecting with eachother's

"I love you too y/n" he whispers pushing his lips up to yours

as you two pull away from his lips you embrace him again as he wraps his arms around your waist.

that night you decided to spend the night with hyunjin, you and him were in his room talking with one another while cuddling in his bed "i never knew how much you looked up to me" he said sounding like he was getting pretty tired "well you're a beautiful person so how could I not" you yawned "you keep saying im beautiful, what's up with that?" hyunjin questioned while looking up at you "well like I said before everything about you is beautiful, meaning not just your looks but also you as person" you responed planting a smell peck on his forehead "ahh now I get it" he shyed feeling kinda dumb for not getting it before "we should get some sleep now im tired" you yawned all of your energy drained from your little heart to heart argument with hyunjin "alright goodnight baby I love you" "i love you too" you gave him a small kiss on his lips before he buried his face in your chest the two of you slowly falling asleep in the comfort of eachother's arms.

im sorry if this isn't good I tried to make it longer than my last fic but I hope you enjoyed it!

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spindash · 2 years

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embarrassing but i jusst need to talk ok.......... under the cut because iknow itll be long um im talking abot cancer and animal death and dog like. i dont knw. attacks. & other kindof awful things so no pressure to even look or read anything. loveyou forevr

My uncle isnt going to make it the next two years even with the two surgeries and chemo the brain tumor is too much and he just got the news the beginning of this month that hes not going to make it. we all kindof knew that woukd be the case even w his last surgery but nobody knew it would be so soon. hes literally like my best friend he has been ever since i was little and he means the world to me. he got diagnosed august of last year and its been like a fucking nightmare ever since. And on top of that i lost agnes like less than a fucking week aftwr i got the news about my uncle its literally been crushing and its hard for me to want to do anything at all and nobody even wants to TALK about it im just supposed to deal alone and my dad will not stop pressuring me to finish getting my degree and get a job and i know i should and i want to but its impossible to do anytbing at all im so exhausted like physically i can barely stay awake and i just feel so isolated. And then we've been taking care of my uncles dog for the last year obviously since he cant and shes never liked me too much but she tolerates me because Im a sucker and i love giving her little treats like peanut butter and any nibbles of what im eating aslong as its safe bht i dont know whats happened in the last few weeks she has completely flipped the switch and i genuinely cannot leave my room anymore without her baring her teeth at me and growling and lunging for me. shes gotten me really bad a couple times thats what that bruise was from and i have some nasty gashes and scars on my feet and legs like ive never bled that much it soaked thru my sock and all over the floor she completely scares the shit out of me i cant even be near her without bawling my eyes out anymore. my parents are like yeah yeah well we'll talk to your uncle soon about getting her some training but not now and dont mention it because youll upset him. Like i think hes going to be more upset that his dog is trying to fucking kill me or something than you asking if he would pay for her to go. somebwere i dont know anywhere. i dont want anything to happen to her like putting her down shes not a bad dog atall she just had such a hard time with different owners as a puppy. it makes me feel awful to say but i wish to fucking god she was anywhere but here not just cuz she scares me but Im scared for the cats too. shes surprisingly aloof towards them but i dont know. i thought she was fine with me too and now. Sprry this is all crazy personal and like batshit to post online if you read all of this um. sorry do you still like me etc i dont have any joke to wrap it up with literally every good thing in my life is crumbling around me and i cant do anything about it nor do i have to tools to deal with it emotionally and i want to blow my head off 👍

#op #tldr nightmares forever 👍#theres alot more but whwtever. most of wats on my mind #Dont worry about though ok. i just needed to get it off my chest as like humiliating as it is to be sad online. i shant do anything

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cozietavie · 2 years

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I just need to vent somewhere so to Tumblr it goes

I've got top surgery next week and I just keep getting so much more stressed, the one person that can help me that I live with is lording it over me like it's some sort of massive task to get a PCR test and drive me to the hospital and that it's an "elective surgery" even though its to keep me from harming myself or contemplating suicide and that it's "traumatic for her" to see her kid chop off his tits. Im not being selfish in asking my mom to support me, yet she is insistent that I am because I can't afford to go to a fancy place for dinner beforehand.

I have folks that genuinely care for me, but they're halfway across the country and in the middle of their own things so I can't ask them for help.

I've spent the last 5 months working towards this and if I lose this chance I don't know when the next time I'll have a chance to get top surgery is, if it weren't for top surgery I would've been far away from here in July but shit, I just want to be treated like I'm not a burden and go in for surgery with people who genuinely support and care about me in the waiting room, I want to be in a safe place while recovering from surgery, but I don't have that here.

I don't know what to fucking do, I'm barely keeping myself together and just want to be okay.

#rant #vent #top surgery #ftm #trans man

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tomdiddlyumptious · 3 years

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T.H| Just Hurry up Please

summary: honestly coochie be bangin

warnings: shaving? A very talkative thomas and a pregnant women

a/n: i just read back in my messages and i swear these people lift me up so much, i love all of you who keep giving me complements and etc, i love all of you honestly.

“THOMASSS!” you yelled from the room, currently seven weeks pregnant and craving fruit snacks and mini Oreo packs, it made him confused and ask why the mini packs if they all taste the same, they simply do not.

“yes darling!” he got up and walked to the room, you sighed and lifted yourself up to the headboard before speaking. “i need you to do me a huge favor”

“if you want me to get you food it isnt a favor” he gently laughed before leaning against the door with his arms crossed. “no i need you to shave me” you simply said and his face dropped. “as innnnnnnn?” he took his hand and pointed south, “if you dont wanna do it you dont have to!-”

“nonononnono wheres the razor” he asked, quickly walking into the bathroom and looking on the counters and in the shower “its uhhhhh-” you snapped your fingers three times “its in the drawer nearest to the right wall!” you said and he nodded, walking to the wall and opening the drawer. “no these are where the towels are!- wait nevermind i went to the wrong wall” he rolled his eyes at his stupidity and went to the other wall, bending down and opening the drawer revealing all of your feminine products but he only grabbed the pack and opened it. taking one out and exiting the bathroom and coming back to you.

“i havent shaved in three months tom, its gonna get complicated down there” you warned him and only chuckled “oh im sure i know everything about heavens” “did you just call my vagina heavens?” “yeah?” you cringed at him before telling him to grab a towel, non scented soap, a squirt bottle and a plastic cup of water, plus a pair of scissors and a little small toothed comb.

“im not giving surgery, right?” he asked, looking at the small table that he set everything on. “you- shut up” you pointed at him before laying down. your pants are off and the two towels, your sitting on them. tom pushed the blankets to his side of the bed so the main focus is you. “alright, get in position”

“position?” tom asked, looking away confused. “As if your, gonna, ya know!” “ohhhhh” he separated your legs and laid on the bed, eye level with your clothed hood.

“are you ready?” “yes y/n” “pull them off” tom hasnt looked their in what felt like years. so he was excited and eager to pull them off, but when he did his face stood in shock “thomas, stop. your pissing me off” “sorry i didnt expect id be in the jungle” he spaced off, looking up at you as you gave...that look.

“whats the next step please!” “take the comb and the scissors please” you said, watching as he nodded and reached his arm over and grabbed the items. “you are going to give me a trim, okay?” his jaw dropped at your words “a...trim?”.

you sighed as you let your head rest on the pillow “i swear im not having sex with him ever again” you whispered “WAIT WHAT??? NONONONONONO IM GIVING YOU A TRIM” he quickly got to work, combing through the hairs before cutting them neatly, his tongue poking out the side of his lips as he tried all of the different ways. “Stop playin!” you yelled and he glared at you “your gonna make me stab you on accident!” “mhmm, accident you say?” he rolled his eyes and chuckled before cut more.

“so how do i clean this up?” “did you get the inside?” his eyes widened. “You grow hair inside-” “no tom we dont, move the lips” you ordered, looking as he moved your lip to the side “this is so strange” he muttered to himself, “be careful, i swear if you hurt me-” “i wont!” he took his other hand and replaced his current one pushing the lip away and took the scissors to carefully cut the hairs before repeating on the other side.

“take the soap and use the water to lather it up” you said and he followed, he lathered it up before placing it down. “okay now spread it on there” “like in between?” “no no, just above it” he placed the soap on the skin, the soft hairs against his hand as he rubbed it in, small circles all over. “open them more please” he said, and you followed. he got your bikini line “now the razor”

he picked it up “im scared y/n” “your doing good tom, just do swipes, go up then down, then to the side” “alright, i think i got that” he sighed, “and pull my stomach up!” “what?” “push the skin up” you took his free and used it to push up your stomach skin. “like that, okay?” “alright” he groaned before swiping gently up, he did it but avoided one place.

“god damn” he talked to his self, using the squirt bottle to rinse away the hair. “i feel like i should get an award, how ling have we been here for?” “about an hour” “AN HOUR? y/n im not ever doin this again, i can barely see” “keep talking shit” “shit atleast im being honest babe, i feel like i just gained 300 worth of muscle trying to shave this thing” “alright imma fuck you up” “im just sayin” he shrugged, dramatically wiping his forehead while you just starred at him.

“im telling my kids they father was a very lazy man” “i get up like 78 times a day just to get YOU food, whos lazy?” he said, biting his tongue as he got the bikini line. “exactly, so be quiet before i bite it” “bite what?” your eyebrows furrowed. “oh you know exactly what im talking about, now let me focus”

when he was done he helped you in the shower, rinsing off all the hair he couldnt get and you looked in the mirror “really? a land strip?” you said, both starring at the line of hair. “yeah i thought we could get matching ones” he shrugged. “you want me to do yours?” you asked looking at him and he nodded. “it shouldnt take an hour....right?” “uhmmmm no”

“AHHH” he screamed. “WHAT THE FUCK?” you giggled at his yelling. “sorry! but we gotta get this done!” “why the wax? why not the fucking razor?” he yelled in lowercase, you only shrugged before pulling the other side some and he screamed at the top of his lungs. “NO STOP IM NOT DOING IT ANYMORE” he pushed your hand away “tom its the last one...pleaseeee!” you begged, looking at the strip. “i gain all sex privileges back then, deal?” you dramatically thought about it before he smacked his lips and slapped your hand away “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT-” you quickly pulled the paper off and he screamed again. “OHHHH MY FUCKINGGGG GODDD Y/N” he starred at you while you tried to hold in your laughs. “it looks pretty” you choked out before you broke out laughing him still starring at you. “i have to put on some oil first!” picking up the tea tree oil and rubbing it on your finger tips before putting it on him, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as he tilted his head back.

“see! all happy a good now arent cha?” you giggled. “im never doing that again, y/n” “lets go look!” you took his hand and pulled him back into the bathroom, you both stood in silence as you tried posing, his area still slightly red as his penis was just in the air, sitting there. “yeah never again, period” “since when do you say period, thomas?” “since you waxed off my skin” “it was your idea!” “and i regret every minute of it, its only gonna grow back” you glared at him as he gave you a blank stare. “just put on your clothes” “exactly what i was about to say!”

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x black!reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland x pregnant!reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland au

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 3 years

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Perfect Imperfections

Sam WIlson One Shot

Summary- 2.7k Sam Wilson x Reader. After a lifetime of issues with your skin that result in some scaring, you have a condition called hidradenitis suppurativa. (a chronic skin condition that has painful flare ups and leaves scars.) Letting Sam see these imperfections scare you, but he is a patient man. Dividers made by @firefly-graphics

Warnings- Needle use, mentions of skin imperfections, sexual moments. This is an 18+ Only Blog.

A/N- This is written for @gotnofucks Body Positivity Challenge. As soon as I saw this challenge, I knew the topic I wanted to tackle with this. Thank you for such a wonderful challenge to participate in. Much Love always babes.

Sam Masterlist

“I have what?” You cringe at the name, it's a long complicated name that ties up your tongue when you try to repeat it, the doctor gives a knowing smile in sympathy.

“Hidradenitis Suppurativa, or HS.” He offered a simpler option for you, maybe one that wasn't so intimidating to say.

“And how do I treat it?” You question nervously, what horror was it going to be? Some sort of surgery, endless medications, injections, or worse… would he tell you there was nothing to do but live with it.

You were tired of living with it, you had the scars left over and really didn't want anymore.

“I’m going to write you a prescription, some antibiotics and an injection that you will need every week.”

Your heart lifted a bit when he filled out the email, sending it to your pharmacy. “Thank you.” you said with some relief that there was a solution to treating it. But nothing could take away what its already left behind.

All your life you lived with these small sores that just came out of nowhere in the worst spots; inside of your thighs, under your breasts, under your arms. All these years you had been embarrassed to go to a doctor about them. But Sam finally convinced you to go when he saw you in pain and refused to let him come near you because they made you feel disgusting.

That was the hardest part of it, was feeling you were hideous when you had someone like Sam who swore up and down every day that you were beautiful and tried so hard to prove it to you. Little text messages throughout the day, a surprise note stuck to the bathroom mirror for you to find, date nights out walking along the street with his arm around you and constantly whispering in your ear how he had the prettiest girl in town. All little things that he was persistent on, and sometimes they even worked. You would feel that shame lifting and your smile brightening for him.

He would wink and press a kiss to your forehead in these moments. “That’s my girl.”

Now you were sitting on the edge of your bed with the injection pen, your hand shaking slightly from the nerves. Earlier a nurse had shown you how to use it, and what to expect.

But stabbing yourself was a different story then letting someone else do it. Your fear was getting the best of you and you had to set the injection pen aside.

You drew in a ragged breath now that you were no longer holding the offending item, scolding yourself for not being able to do something so simple.

Something your body needed desperately, cause maybe the flare ups wouldn't be so bad, you wouldn't be embarrassed to let Sam see you like he wanted, less pain. All of it could be better if you could get past this point.

You never heard Sam come down the hallway towards your bedroom and happened to see you push away the injection, curl up on yourself on the bed. More then anything he wanted to take all of that pain and insecurity away from you, cause damn you were unlike anyone hes dated before. Sweeter then his grandma’s sweet tea, he could just bask in your glow that you brought to a room. Your laughter never failed to catch his attention from across a room and when you would set your sight on him, give that soft affectionate smile. Oh he was done. You made him feel like the only one in the room.

And that was just the minor stuff. Everything in his building relationship with you settled in him as it all being so right, Sam was finding he wanted nothing more then to keep building a life with you. So these moments tore him because he just wanted to fix it for you.

Sam gave a soft knock on the door frame before stepping into the bedroom. “Hey Sugar, you alright?” You rubbed at your face as the bed dipped from Sam sitting next to you and he grasped the injection pen, rolling it lightly in his fingers.

“Yes…” You lied at first and Sam gave you a look, an arch of his brow that asked for the truth. “No. Im supposed to inject that and fuck it, my hand wont stop shaking just thinking about it.” You grasped your hands together and held them still.

Sam rolled the injection in his own hands and tilted his head towards you, ghosting his lips against your cheek. “Would you like me to give it to you?”

You cringed a bit, not that you didn't trust him, you trusted Sam immensely. You trusted him more everyday that you two were together. Sam was your strength, the one you leaned on.

But you haven't been able to give up your body issues. That was something you were still scared to death for him to see. So much you wouldn't even let him see you completely naked in the light. Every night you would scramble to darken the room before settling into bed for the night. The horrible scars between your thighs that prevented you from wearing shorts or short skirts, the flare ups that shamed you till you would hide away making some lame excuse why you couldn't go out. Now this, having to take the shot made you squirm a bit to top all the other stuff.

Sam tilted his head to brush his lips to your shoulder, trying to ease you. “If you want, I can give it to you. My Gram used to have me help her once in a while with her diabetes injections. You have a trained professional right here.” He tried putting you at ease, getting you through your uncomfortable feelings, but you pulled away a bit more.

“No, it's not entirely that Sam.” You twisted your fingers together, looking down. “It’s-uhh- fuck. It's complicated.”

He frowned a bit, setting the injection aside and reached his hand to cover yours, tugging lightly till your fingers weaved with his. “Well then let's uncomplicate it Y/N.”

You lifted your gaze to look at him, this man who had the softest brown eyes and a smile that made your insides melt with just a few words, you felt silly, guilty and like a disappointment admitting anything out loud.

“Me, I'm a mess. I will always have to do these shots, my body is going to have these issues whenever it feels like, I hate looking like this, I'm so scared to let you see me…” You dropped it all, Sam’s hand giving slight squeezes and when your voice started to crack, your words getting ahead of thoughts so they were all a rush, he reached to twist you to face him, his hands moving to cup your face, thumbs sweeping sway at some of those tears tracking down your face.

“Oh Sugar, if you could see what I see, you wouldn't be worried about what I see anymore. Your stunning, fucking beautiful baby and I’m more then happy to remind you everyday.”

“You don’t know Sam, it's so ugly…” You started and he let his forehead lean against yours to calm you. You felt his hands slide around you and yours eased around him, breathe in, breathe out, let your mind stop racing.

“You don’t have to show me today, or tomorrow. Never if you are never okay with it. It's not going to change what I feel and know. So I will remind you everyday that you are the most beautiful woman to me. You love me flaws and all after all.”

You rolled your eyes a bit, scoffing. “You make it easy Sam.”

Winking at you, he slid his hands up and down your back while he eased away. “And you don’t? Sugar, you are so good to me that Sarah already told me I would be a fool to let you get away.” You could feel yourself loosening in his hold, your own arms circling up around his neck to press against him, each hugging one another. You could feel soft presses of his lips to your neck, squeezing you a bit closer. “And I agree.”

You giggled softly, nuzzling in against him and letting his strong feel and warmth wash over you. Hints of warm cedar and sandalwood tickled your nose, and suddenly everything was just better. You pulled away with a gentle “Thank You Handsome”

“Anytime Baby… now... “ He picked up the injection one more time and dragged his teeth against his bottom lip for a moment in thought. “We don’t have to rush with anything until you are ready. But this…” He tapped the pen against his fingers. “Will you let me help you with it?”

You nodded and he moved to kneel in front of you, heavy palms rubbing against the top of your jean clad thighs as you moved your shirt up over your belly.

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous about this.” You say shakily and Sam smiles that reassuring one of his that makes you feel at ease.

“Don’t you worry Sugar, I got you.” He was gentle when he pinched a bit of your skin and pressed the pen to the area. You started shivering, your breathing caught. “Hey, look at me, m’kay?” It took a moment to pry your eyes away from the pen to his warm eyes. “Not gonna hurt, I promise.”

Then there was a loud click and you jumped more in surprise at the sudden noise than anything. A slight sting was soon erased with giddiness that it was over and he was pulling the now emptied pen away from your belly. You sagged slightly in relief and Sam pushed himself up, gripping your chin gently and pressing an affectionate kiss to your mouth.

“Told you Sugar, I got you.”

Couple Months Later

You and Sam were messing around on the couch, your head laughing as he hovered over you, he was belting out a very off key rendition of Barry White’s Your Sweetness Is My Weakness while skimming fingers along your sides under your tank top and kissing down your neck. Your hands rubbed over his head to fist in the back of his shirt and tug it over his head, discarding it over the back of the cough. His own rucking your tank top over your head and leaning back on his thighs, whistling at you all stretched out before him on the couch, making you cover your face in embarrassment. “Hey, none of that. Fuck Sugar, you are so damn fine.” that last word hissed from between his teeth as his eyes dripped molten warmth, flaring in the pit of your belly.

You peeked at him from between your fingers and arched slightly to reach behind you, unsnapping your bra and he eased it down, giving a groan.

A very appreciative groan. The groan of a man who saw something he really wanted.

His mouth landed on you as well as his hands, roaming supple soft curves and tasting your sweet skin, like a collection of honey dew salt on his tongue. A nipple swirled around his tongue with a hum that was like a jolt to your system.

Lacing your veins with desire, you felt the mindless buzz of worries start to fade to the background while you enjoyed the sensations he built in you. Now and then you would catch sight of his gaze flickering upwards to you, a check in that you were okay with how this was progressing. Your body had a mind of its own, clearly aware of how to roll under his hands, enabling him to shift you further down the couch till he was inching to a kneel between your spread thighs. His hands slipped over your hips to hook his fingers in the band of your shorts, your hips arched for him to drag them away, but that is where Sam stopped. You gave an impatient whine and flickered your gaze up at him. A slight sheen of sweat coasted across his broad tensed chest, every part of him held back with anticipation, and you couldn't for the life of you figure out why Sam stopped right here.

“This is what you want, Sugar? Are you okay with this?”

Then it occurred to you he was giving you the option to say no. Some of those anxieties started to drift back, your fingers twisting together as you spiraled away from the moment. You wished he just kept going, not giving you the option. But that wasn't who Sam was.

It was now or never, and your resolve settled in you, almost a comfort that you were taking this step with him. A nod made Sam drag his teeth across his bottom lip, taking your confirmation to continue.

You squeezed your eyes shut while your shorts came off, and you felt the familiar calloused hands sweep along the inside of your thighs and spread you open wider, a soft gasp from him making your eyes shoot open in fear, was he repulsed by the scars?! You knew you should have never let it get this far. Everything in you was afraid to look and see his reaction, just picturing his handsome face looking at you in disgust.

What you saw was anything but, Sam looked you up and down with nothing but lust in his eyes and an appreciative groan as he let his thumb trace along your slit, spreading your lips apart. “Y/N, you are absolutely beautiful Sugar, and all for me? What a gift.”

You hovered at the pool side bar while Natasha mixed together a luscious fruity drink, anyone who said these drinks were “girly” simply didn't know. The amount of liquor she mixed with vibrant syrups till you had a tropical blue concoction would get you buzzed faster than any one shot of liquor could. It was just what you wanted. An explosion of fruit on your tongue that would leave you feeling good. When she handed it over, you sipped from the frosty edge with an appreciative hum. “Mmhh, perfect.” You praise while she wedged on a pineapple slice to the brim.

“I know, you are telling me nothing new Y/N.” She teased while she whipped up her own, the red head sauntering out from behind the bar with her own drink, the two of you approaching the pool side to sit in the warm sunshine. Natasha settled in one lounger, stretching herself out with another sip of her drink before setting it aside.

You spread a towel out and then unwrapped your cover to let your two piece bikini be revealed, no longer hiding yourself away.

You felt no more shame in the scars inside your thighs, the dimpling of skin where sore have healed over and over. Sam had helped you chase those fears away over time and now when you applied your sunscreen, you looked over your shoulder to see Sam strolling along the pools edge, his eyes all over you with a wide grin. Making his way over to you two, his hand sweeping around you to grasp your sunscreen bottle while kissing your shoulder. “Let me Sugar... “ He brushed his nose against your neck while moving to sit in the other seat, scooting closer to spread the sunscreen across your shoulders. “You look fantastic by the way. Is this a new swimsuit?”

You hummed while tilting your head forward, popping a shoulder as if it was no big deal, but it was the first time you had worn a swimsuit out in public in longer than you could remember. You felt his arms circle your mid section, pulling you back into his set so you could lounge back against his chest, your legs weaved through his.

“Brand new Sam, do you like it?”

He growled lightly against your ear while nipping your earlobe, whispering against the shell of your ear while he flushed playful kisses to that sweet spot just behind your ear.

“Very much so, good luck stopping me from peeling you from it later.”

Playful touches and heated kisses made you feel just like his queen in the summertime sunshine, unable to keep his affections to himself.

#dibspositivitychallenge #sam wilson x reader #bodypositivity #tw hs #tw skin condition #tw needles #amber writes #sweater writes

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fishfingersandjellybabies · 2 years

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im really glad I celebrated last weekend being good because oh man was last week so very NOT good, and I’m already anxious over the fact this week probably won’t be much better 😂

most of last week’s issues were low level garbage (work stuff, weather, coworkers being mad at me/cold shouldering me for no reason? who fucking cares) but the biggest one is the fact that tim needs fucking dental surgery and is getting it the last day of this month.

so on top of me going to be anxious about it until it happens (because I’m scared of leaving him alone in a strange place and him thinking im abandoning him/the potential of issues with anesthesia/what the fuck damian’s going to think with both me and tim gone all day and he’s as anxious as me on a normal basis etc etc etc) its going to be fucking EXPENSIVE. and like. i hate using my savings but ive always said I will spend every dime i have on the cats before myself if i have to. so, however much it’s gonna cost I know I can afford it. i will afford it. it’s just gonna make everything tight for the next few months.

so, it’s not dire. I’m more worried about the medical side than the monetary. but I’ll make my schpiel again. sorry I’m so annoying about it.

but if you want to help, patreon or commissions will get you something in return, and then I also have a kofi if thats more your speed. id be forever grateful.

I’ve never had a pet go through any kind of surgery before, so I don’t know what the timeline of after will look like either. I know along with cleaning his other teeth, he’s for sure getting a root extracted (of a rotted tooth that I found fallen out last sunday - that’s what started this) and potentially other teeth removed that the vet already tagged as inflamed, so that’ll be up to the surgeon. so I imagine he’ll be on pain meds and a bit loopy afterwards and I’ll be busy stressing and worrying over him so...I probably won’t be here much for a while. again. sighhhh.

#tbd #bee rambles #bee in real life

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dog-teeth · 3 years

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2 weeks post op top surgery update!! pics & details under the cut!

i had my 2nd post op appointment on monday, getting the stitches off of my grafts and medical tape off my incisions. other than my limited mobility and some mood stuff and scar care, im pretty much back to normal! im v happy with how my chest looks, and my doctor said i was looking more healed than average for the 2-week mark :)

physical healing:

having the stitches taken off the nipple graft was a bit uncomfy but just felt like a light tugging and only took a few minutes. having the medical tape taken off hurt a bit bc the adhesive pulled on my skin, but it was super fast and not an intense pain at all.

so i had been instructed to keep my nipples very very hydrated with aquaphor (which is why they look shiny here lol), and not to pick at them or rub them. before my appointment yesterday, the entire grafts looked how the nipple does now, all black and scabbed, but i hadn’t been able to tell that it was just dead skin scabbed over & ready to come off because i had been keeping them so hydrated that they didn’t flake off like normal scabs, i thought it was just my bruised healing skin and that the scabbing process had barely started. then, i went into my appointment, and when my doctor took out the stitches, she swabbed the area lightly, and all of the dead skin came off super easily! i was so surprised! turns out almost all of the scabbing of the areola had already happened, i just didn’t know, because it was so different from normal scabs due to the constant hydration. now all thats left is the nipple, which takes longer to heal because its a thicker part of the graft.

you can see the little indentations on my skin from the gauze pressing down under my compression wrap, which i still wear all day every day, and will continue to do for the next few weeks. there is still a light bruise on one side of my chest and a numb patch on the other, plus a bit of swelling around the incisions, especially near the center of my chest. the bruise actually looks more visible in these pics than it does irl.

current physical care:

i’ve started scar care, which is super exciting! i massage my scars twice a day with healing ointment, keeping them nice n hydrated under a thin layer (but still dry enough that they dont get weird from being wrapped up all the time). i also started using silicone scar cream, which is for healing and fading scars.

i massage the incisions for about 15 minutes per day total, for 5-10 minutes at a time. it feels nice, its pleasing to run my fingers over the incisions, it is a bit tender on the place where there is still swelling and a light bruise. i also (very lightly) rub the outside of my nipple grafts when applying the aquaphor, which is to prevent the buildup of excess scar tissue that would raise my areolas up.

i feel much more confident about my healing after having the tape taken off my incisions and the scab tissue wiped off my nipple grafts. i spent the entire past 2 weeks worrying about my nipples falling off, and now i know that won’t happen lmao. im very excited about scar care, being able to massage the incisions and confidently touch my nipples is great. i’m looking forward to my nipples scab tissue flaking off, and for the dissolvable sutures under my incisions to dissolve completely, because i can feel them under my scars which is weird!

concerns going forward:

-spitting sutures, which is when a dissolvable suture gets agitated or rejected by your body and has to be removed, but it’s an easy fix if it does happen, i just have to go into my surgeons office and have them take it out.

-scar care! keeping my nipples hydrated, massaging my scars and the rims of my grafts, keeping everything wrapped under my ace bandage compression with gauze pads over the nipples.

-limited mobility and not carrying stuff- now that i’m pretty healed its hard to make myself not do normal things like reach my arms out, stretch, and lift things up, but i really shouldnt do it even if it doesn’t hurt.

-compression, i still wear my ace bandage wrap and will for at least 2 more weeks, which sucks, i can’t wait to be done with it! but im also glad it’s there because it makes my chest feel protected, i’m still very very cautious and weird about my giant wounds and still-healing nipples.

mood:

overall, i’m very happy with how it looks and how it’s healing. im very relieved to be past these first few weeks when everything is at its most difficult. i’ve been really really stressed out about it this whole time, worrying about my nipple grafts failing or not healing right, having full on anxiety attacks when i accidentally stretch my arms out too far or put too much weight on them, and being terribly afraid that my chest won’t look good aesthetically.

i’ve also been depressed lately, idk if it’s post-surgery depression or my normal depression or my seasonal depression. i was in very good spirits the first week, but i’ve been having low moods and low energy more recently :( i think once i’m able to drive and exercise again i’ll be much happier, but for now being trapped inside all day in my room has been rough.

recovery has been physically grueling and mentally very weird, because i literally did not believe it would actually happen until it had actually happened (seriously i was at the hospital getting prepped to be taken into the OR and i still didn’t think it would happen), and i didn’t believe it would be okay until my 2nd post op on monday when i saw how healed my grafts and incisions were. so really, i’m just now getting to experience the relief that i finally got surgery!!!! the more healed i get the more i enjoy it, which i’m sure will continue for the next months and probably years.

#top surgery #ez says

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disaster-fruit · 3 years

Note

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much. Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

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cloveroctobers · 4 years

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CHELSEA ELLE HODGSON —

IG info/Bio: @/chelseaaahodecor | 109k followers | hi babes! welcome to my life lovelies, please get comfy with this Prosecco im serving thru this screen! xx here’s my site if you need some light in ur life: ichelseahdgsondesigns.com 🏝💕

24 (25) years

From Buckinghamshire, England

Comes from a wealthy family

her father’s side of the family founded, “Hodgson investments” their company is built off of financial services

Her papo (grandfather) was arrested on tax invasion & served some time for doing so

Her father, Alistair now manages the company but under a different name

Her mother’s side of the family comes from old money...something about horses?

Her mother, Connie holds many events and seems to make $ from them but Chelsea isn’t quite sure what the woman does or if it’s fully legal

The family is all about protecting their image & if you don’t cut it, there will be repercussions

Feels a little like dynasty (I’ve only seen 2-3 episodes & never finished but get the point?) , maybe that’s why Chelsea & her sister enjoy watching it so much

Parents forsure held courtship events or either went to courtship events with their children (even Albie) & found suitors in hopes of marrying their daughters off (& finding Albie a new wife, only on Mrs. Hodgson’s part— mr. Hodgson seems nicer/easy-going)

Has older twin sibs: Albie-Crispin & Dolly-Georgiana

Often referred to as “the triplet” in the press

Well-known in their city

They’re all called by their first & middle name in their family household even tho their parents do not have middle names

Has a love/hate relationship with albie, he is selfish & has proven to do anything to drag others down to make himself look better

He’s a lawyer & has been married to his wife for about 7 years

Mrs. Hodgson, Dolly, & Chelsea all agree they do not like her but Chelsea puts on a smile whenever her sister-in-law is around while Mrs. Hodgson makes it known that she dislikes the woman, she thinks she’s beneath her son since her family does not make nearly enough $ put together between her & Mr. Hodgson

Dolly has a bf who’s a dental hygentist that she’s been dating for about 3 years but they’re both cheating on each other, she doesn’t think she’ll ever be married

She’s in office management

Chelsea fell in love with interior decorating from the moment she played with doll houses. Her grandparents made sure to send her the biggest doll houses they could find every Christmas. She’s always been in love with rearranging and picking certain items and best putting them into a space that works

She shit at drawing (she’ll leave that to the Architects) but she knows her furniture & patterns quite well

Has asked a few architects out on dates, some she worked with or stumbled across, only one seemed like it could have truly worked...I imagine him to look a bit like Henry Cavill with light facial hair (told you I’m a sucker for it, & Chelsea probably can tolerate just a bit not too much)

Yet Chelsea always has a wondering eye, she gets curious quite often which makes you wonder, is she really ready for love? To fully commit? One day she will be

It’s a competitive field and when she’s ready to battle she will but there are moments when she gets let down & has to pick herself up again

Has ADHD, goes to therapy for it & hates taking her meds. She’d rather stick to therapy sessions since it’s always nice to talk to someone

When she was younger she probably stole a friend or two’s bf & would definitely get mad if they did it back to her but they somehow still end up being friends in the end? Yikes

Hung out with the popular kids, was always at the parties making sure everyone was having a good time. Filling up the cups, directing where furniture should be moved, where the kegs should go, how many people should be there, etc...She doesn’t seem like the stuck up type like her mother but she is privileged & doesn’t realize it as much

Was a cheerleader & ran track, quit track to commit full-time to cheerleading since that kept her in shape enough

Dated here & there, had one bf where they would scream at each other and wouldn’t allow the other to leave or would be upset that the other didn’t come after them...yeah one of those couples

Broke up with her goth bf because he didn’t tell her he wasn’t coming to school for about a week; he had the stomach flu

Canon: Took a computer course in high school & in uni & found out she was at the top of her class for typing the fastest, she now loves the sound of her short pink ombré nails on the keys

Canon: Wanted to be a show jumper due to her mother’s side of the family & their history with horses

Goes to the stables every now & then, there’s one horse there that she’s absolutely in love with & loves to ride. Her father always offered to buy it for her but it’s not a animal she wants to own

Canon: loves finger foods + will get full off them at events quickly. She also doesn’t mind the tiny portions of food at expensive ass restaurants, it’s just enough for her

Takes hair supplements. Probably had long hair growing up that she always kept up in a bun or ponytail but decided to start chopping her hair off & getting layers & highlights which damaged her hair

Approves of plastic surgery

Is part of the itty bitty titty community & got a lift for them

Gets lip fillers for her bottom lip but isn’t a fan of needles + overlines her top lip

loves going to the dermatologist, the spa for facials & whatever else she’s willing to try & finding new skincare to buy

Tans & loves tropical hot summers

Buys an overload of bikinis even in the winter

Hates the rain, it messes with her mood

Loves a good lipstick & lipgloss combo, nudes & pinks are her to go to’s

Fav color is pink

Got herself a guinea pig after the show & named her “bubbly” after her baby in the villa

I feel like she would eventually get a tiny dog too

Has her own flat, that’s quite far from all of her family. She loves her dysfunctional problematic family but Chelsea likes her space from them too

Since buckinghamshire’s culture is more of a Middle Ages style, Chelsea made sure her home wouldn’t hold much of that style inside. It needed to be lively! Her family home was filled with dark wood & she can’t stand that

She loves going to the markets tho. She always seems to leave with something & either finds herself not liking it months later and ends up selling whatever item caught her interest

Her family tends to pop in whenever they want, especially her mother

Canon: talks about cat cafe’s when she’s drunk, says its her version of the chocolate factory + she’s the dancing drunk

Always down for a girls night out, girls trip & girls sleepovers

Probably goes to bed early around 10pm or earlier m if she’s not out having the time of her life, which makes her regret her choices the next morning

All her closest friends back home are a group of girls

Hangs out with Priya, Marisol, & Hope from the villa whereas the rest she’ll mostly communicate with them through socials or gatherings

Will host gatherings & expect them ALL to show up

Is dramatic when things don’t go her way

Loses focus more than gets bored in relationships? She’ll find other things or people to occupy her time which she doesn’t realize can be hurtful to others

When she does realize she hurts someone, she immediately wants to fix it

Canon: Is a blabbermouth. Cannot hold a secret for shit, also cannot tell a lie. Her body language gives it away first if she doesn’t spill it

Retail therapy is the best therapy if she doesn’t have a office appointment

Any spice girl song will be her karaoke song, she is always baby spice

Loves her Prosecco (me too sis!) & keeps plenty bottles in her wine fridge. She originally wanted a space with a wine cellar but got creeped out at the thought since it’s just her & bubbly living in the home

Has high cell phone bills, the girl loves a good chat

Cannot cook no matter how hard she tries. She’s been to cooking classes with an ex, watched videos, order from those food delivery sites to prepare food & it just never turns out well

Will spend hours in furniture stores, she’s had to be escorted out pass closing hours by security guards before & manage to make friends out of them. They all know who she is in majority of the stores she enters

Throws a party every time her following goes up. There’s never not a reason to throw one

Was upset that Carl unfollowed her once and figured Hannah made him do it. Which wasn’t true, Hannah was sure of herself now & doesn’t feel the need to be jealous, the man could follow whoever he wanted—she knew he barely stayed on IG in the first place. He thought it was too shallow

So when Chelsea called him one night sobbing he was utterly confused, he didn’t understand why a follow meant so much

He reluctantly followed her back

Thrilled to know Elijah, Lucas, & Carl all keep up with her. Oh & the rest of the boys ofc!

Chats with Jakub! They also hang out. They’re a bit of a odd pairing but they get along well, he’s basically another big brother to her but she actually likes him—

Afraid of the dark, keeps fairy lights lit throughout the night in her bedroom, keeps scent infused night lights in her hallways

Believes in feng shui

I feel like her voice is soft like jennifer Tilly’s?

Idk what her sun sign is? Is she a sag far as daydreaming cause she does that. I KNOW she has Leo in her chart, she’s dramatic, warm, likes to be admired & appreciated. Sun sign I need help? Maybe she’s a Sagittarius sun? + Leo moon + libra rising

Has a collection of celeb gossip magazines that she keeps on a stand next to her pink velvet chair beside her bow window

I think she will be the first islander that gets pregnant tbh & it’s by an architect (the guy I mentioned/envisioned that’s been waiting on her to realize he can give her the love she needs or prove he can balance her out) or firefighter or someone “manly” she wouldn’t end up with a islander I don’t think

she has a girl & names her, “adore”

Canon: Still wants 5 kids but we’ll see how that goes & if it’ll change, it’s been a bit difficult not drinking Prosecco but she’s got a lovely baby out of it

Crushes? Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Alfred Enoch, Alex Pettyfer, Joe Cole, Gregg Sulkin, Frank Dillane, Charlie Rowe, & Hero Fiennes Tiffin

Can listen to anything that’s got a good beat. But we all know she’s a pop & folk genre lover. She listens to: Astrid S, Maty Noyes, Cher Lloyd, Bebe Rexha, Allie X, Poppy, POST MALONE, etc.

Anthem? Gabrielle Aplin — Until the sun comes up

#litg #litg2 #litg s2 #litg Chelsea #litg carl #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #litg au #50/50 like Chelsea lol #she’s sweet but there’s things that she’s done that makes me side eye her #wouldn’t keep her around my man if she’s single tbh lmao #litg3 #litg s3

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crystal-bitch-witch-the-third · 3 years

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Me talking about pent up emotions cuz I dont know how to actually talk about them

So I’m hearing a lot of my friends coming out stories. My one best friend, now my loving boyfriend of two years, came out to his mother as trans a little more than a year ago. When he came out, she wasnt fully accepting. Not because of religious reasons tho. But over the year, shes gotten better and better at it and today she barely dead names him and rarely misgenders him.

My next friend, we will call him Red, came out as trans also in highschool. To which he was embraced and fully accepted. To this day, he still lives with his parents and is on his 6 month of T shots and is about to set up a top surgery apt by next year.

My next friend, we will call them Gene. They came out as bisexual to their Christian conservative parents in September or so of 2020. Their mother doesn't fully accept them, but their father is all hands in and will support Gene without a second thought.

Next is my friend who Ill call Kat. Kat came out as bisexual where her mother said she didnt give a shit who she dates as long as they can support themselves.

Then theres V, she came out as a lesbian and her parents fully accept her.

Louis, Bisexual, full acceptance.

Mayo, Bisexual and nonbinary, fully accepted

Nani, pan, fully accepted

Ray, nonbinary, fully accepted.

You get the picture.

My name is Renée. I grew up in a Christian conservative household. I am currently secretly a witchcraft practicing Pagan and I am bisexual - a lesbian before my bf came out as trans but Bisexual is sticking. ( Not Bi lesbian! That doesnt exist)

Now my mother found out on accident about everything from one pinterest post. Shes not upset about it or anything but she isnt like super supportive either??? Shes never said anything hateful, its just not something she really acknowledges. She said shes fine with it tho and left it at that, My father on the other hand is your stereotypical White cishet Christian Conservative middle aged man. Guy wakes up, watches Fox news bitch about how “ the vaxx have chips in them and changes DNA” and then watches Ben Shapiro after. Along with Freedom Toons and Steve Crowder. His whole side of the family except maybe a small handful are all like that too, my grandma and uncle even worse.

He doesnt know that I am Bisexual, no longer a christian, or that I am dating my best friend. Though, hes made it perfectly clear that he doesnt support him or anyone in the LGBT community.

So, I’m seeing all of my friends, and the large majority of them are accepted with open arms, without a second thought. And don’t get me wrong, I am so so happy for them and so proud of them. But I also can’t help but feel annoyed, frustrated, and even devastated. Because I know that as much as I hope for it, my dad would never accept me and what I stand for. And I mean Ever.

I remember him and I having a conversation a few years back. He said his priorities are in this order: God, wife, then kids. He loves us all, I can confirm that. But that sentence always hurt and still does. Because now I know that when it comes down to it, he will chose a God that may not even be real over me. So no, i dont think he will be very accepting.

And thinking back to my friends and how happy they are, I cant help but wonder, “ When is it my turn? When is it my turn to be happy? To be out and proud with the person I love so dearly? To be loved? Embraced? Accepted?Celebrated? Told by my parents that they are proud of me?- I think I only heard that phrase once or twice in my life- When is it my turn?”

When I was younger, I would yell at God for making me the way I am. I would cry and cry and poor my heart out begging him to make me “normal” because I couldnt live like this, I need my dad to be proud of me. But I never got a response back. Well once I did. I was at bible camp - story for another time- and I asked god to send a message to me if I was okay to be myself and the wind blew the pages open to a verse that I cant find any more I just know it was in 1st Thessalonians, the chapter that camp focused on for that week. It said something like “ God loves you”. When I was a christian I used that to excuse the fact I was gay but every christian i knew turned their nose at it cuz apparently its wrong... Looking back, it could of been God, the universe, another God, I have no idea. But I had my time with the Abrahamic God and now its come to an end and thats okay.

So currently, I still live at home. I want to come out so badly but I have to wait til im 18 next june. Just smile and fucking pretend until then. Ive known my sexuality since 6th grade, I’m so fucking sick of pretending. But hye, gotta do what ya gotta do to survive, right?

#sexuality #lesbian #bisexual #bisexuality #comingout #coming out #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#exchristian #pagan #shitpost

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elpublico · 3 years

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HI ADRIAN 👯👯👯💞 i just fed my kitty 🐈 and watched one of my new favorite episodes 📺 of riverdale it was a cinematic 🎥 masterpiece 😚💖 earlier i had a smoothie 🥤 and fries 🍟 and i found MY NEW FAVORITE in my list of potential apartments. anyway funnie emojis an stuff aside i contacted a bunch of ppl with apartment questions and feel so full of smoothie and determination and love and laughter. i love my boygirlfriend a lot and im excited for when i move closer to him bc i feel like im not too skilled at displaying that through my phone next week my friend and i are going to take a drive in the middle of the night like we used to and i reached my savings goal for top surgery so now my upcoming paychecks go to my apartment and furniture and im. well its all like. i guess im gushing abt my life 💫 because for the first time i feel like even if somet hings dont turn out EXACTLY how im planning or imagining its going to be okay..........i am a sprout and all that. i am a sprout and you are a little blackberry bush and the person a street away is a lemon tree and a strawberry vine and a carrot and rosemary and a spiderplant and a biiig oak that isnt a big oak yet and love is the dirt and love is what grounds us and what we become and i love you and im glad we are sprouting at the same time :-) speaking of oak trees people came by to grind up the stump of our oak tree and i miss my friend so dearly. i have a couple big pieces of the bark with me that i dont quite know what to do with but im glad i have them 💗

give your cat a scratch for me <3

i am SO excited for you!!! omg that all sounds soo sososo wonderful i am so glad to hear that!!

i have a little succulent that suffered under my care the past few months — i always forget to water and my dorm didnt get much sunlight. but anyway since ive been home ive tried to water it and its sitting right in the sun most of the day and its becoming greener and livelier and i think perhaps sprouting is in the air thank you for reminding me <3

i am sorry to hear about your tree friend but i am glad you’ll always have a piece of him 🌳

#ask #this was a lovely ask cj thank u love u 😭💕

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jackalopefreckles · 3 years

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I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

#TIRED #happy covid anniversary #time to post this without reading it lmao #long post #rambles

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