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my-castles-crumbling · 3 months

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hello hello,

sorry bc this is a bit long and I got a bit carried away

But basically all my life i thought my home life was super great but looking back on it, it was nice but some slightly (only slightly) questionable stuff [I want to clarify that it’s nothing physical but some of it was a little bit fucked up like I have one stand out memory but also I may have made it up bc idk sometimes I’m super sure it happened and sometimes I’m not] went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong. I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk] and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents] and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out…

also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself

so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok

Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

so basically [sorry for the suuuper long ask] I’m not sure what the right thing to do is, like do I try and remedy the relationship with my parents [but especially my mum] or do I just sort of keep going like this till I’m at uni or what?

again sorry this is way too long

Hi love! First of all, I wanna give a TW to people reading:

TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts

Okay, I'm gonna take this one section at a time:

Okay chances are you're not making it up. Thinking you're making it up is a super common symptom of guilt trips and gaslighting. If you think it happened...it probably did.

went down and now i notice more and more my parents making sexist/homophobic/transphobic jokes and offhand comments and then getting annoyed and yelling at me whenever I try and tell them they’re wrong.

This is NOT okay of them. They're being disrespectful.

I also sort of noticed that they’re a bit too pushy and invasive of my privacy [especially my mother who loves to offload her problems onto me and has since I was pretty small and would just barge into my room at any time and tell me about them and I understand communication is important in families but I don’t think 9 is a good age for your mother to regularly be crying to you about how suicidal she feels but she always acted like it was a good thing so I assumed it was too idk]

Uhm hi hello hi. NO. No no no. This is NOT okay. Parents do NOT tell their children about their suicidal feelings. Absolutely not. This is a classic example of parentification. You, even as a teenager, are the CHILD. You are NOT responsible for your parents, and you should not feel any sort of pressure to help with their wellbeing. Nope.

and it’s like half the time they treat me like I’m way younger than I am [late teen] and the other half of the time it’s like they expect me to be a mature adult and like I just want to be my actual age yk but I can’t and tbh I don’t even know how to go about doing that now bc I feel like I’ve sort of been stifled and the thing is I’m not sure how I should actually be feeling about the whole thing

yup. parentification. You've been expected to take on the role of a parent when convenient and act like a child when convenient. this is not okay and you're absolutely right to feel weird and bad and resentful about it.

because I don’t think they’re actually really bad people [my parents]

And here's the thing: that can also be true. A lot of times, parents can both love you/be good people AND unintentionally be hurtful. But in a way, that can be even more difficult because like...how do you explain to someone who thinks they're not being hurtful that they ARE?

and I end up feeling guilty about the fact that I just don’t want to talk to them anymore [especially my mum] and like ik people who have way worse home lives than me and I feel like it’s being a bit selfish to complain bc sure they make problematic jokes but I don’t think they’d necessarily treat me worse if I came out [non-binary and pan] but also I don’t think they’d be that great about it like my brother came out as bi and they were like ok but then one time when he was away they were talking about ‘if he gets a girlfriend’ and I said ‘or a boyfriend bc he’s bi’ and they were like ‘yeah he’s bi but he’s only ever really shown interest in girls so we doubt he’s actually bi but I mean if he got a boyfriend we’d be fine with it’ and I was like on the one hand like it could be worse but it still didn’t sit right with me that they just casually assumed he was lying about it even tho he’d literally come out… also I sort of don’t even want to come out atp to them I just want to sort of quietly cut ties or distance myself so I sort of tried to do that [as much as I can yk being still a minor and living at home] but now I’ve got my mum not so subtly idk tryna guilt trip me. Like she’ll say shit about how I used to talk to her and now I never do and like there’s a fucking reason [I now actually have friends who I realised I feel way more comfortable around] but ok Like a while back she came to my room and tried to do the usual complaining thing about how she’s v depressed and all and I tried to respectfully tell her she needs therapy and she got super upset with me and started crying and stormed out my room and then she came back later and tried again and I told her like as nicely as I could that I can’t handle this bc I am just a kid yk as nice as possible I cannot handle my shit let alone yours like my mental health is not great rn and like I want to be there for the ppl in my life not feeling good but also like she’s been doing this since I was pretty small and there’s literally no way I can really support her except spending more time with her maybe but then that’s bad for my mental health especially bc she’ll do offhand shit that she knows I don’t like [like I have sensory issues bc I’m neurodivergent and having a hand put on my shoulder for some reason I just ugh it’s the worst - and ever since she noticed that I would pull away she’s started doing it more and every time I pull away she makes jokes about how she must have ‘a disease or something’ and just UGH sorry it infuriates me]

This is what I'm saying: it's super difficult to convince someone they're being hurtful when they truly think they aren't. Trust me, my mother is the same way. But you aren't wrong for wanting to distance yourself. Also, don't compare yourself to other people. You have a DIFFERENT home life, not necessarily a better or worse one.

Don't be sorry! I guess the first thing I'd say is, all of your feelings are valid, and this sounds super difficult. I'm sorry you have to go through it <3. Here's the thing: You are right. There are some things going on in your house that aren't okay. But the reality is, your mom doesn't seem to be willing to hear your opinion about changing them. SO, where do you go from here?

I think the two major things I've had to learn with my (very similar) mother is:

Set boundaries and stick to them. If she's dumping on you and you can't handle it, tell her it's not okay. Keep politely telling her this. There is NOTHING WRONG with doing this, even if she tells you otherwise.

Take what you can get, but don't get your hopes up. Does she want to take you out to lunch? Great. She wants to hang out after school? Awesome. But don't...rely on her to be more than she is.

If you're able to do these two things in a healthy way, this might be your best bet until you turn of age and you're able to reevaluate if you want a long-term relationship or not. But honestly, if you're financially dependent on her, separating from her completely might not be the best idea if you are safe.

The ONLY thing that makes me nervous about this whole situation is your mention of your mom's suicidal thoughts, so I'll leave you with this:

if your mom is scaring you with the way she is talking, call the authorities. You are a minor, and you should NEVER have to deal with that on your own.

No matter what happens, no matter WHAT your mom does, no matter what you do or don't say/do or don't do, your mother's decisions are her own. Nothing she does is your fault.

If you feel comfortable, please DM me! I'm being genuine when I say our moms sound similar, and I would love to talk more <3

P.s. I just want to say that, you are SO smart, as a teenager, to realize that this behavior is not okay. Good for you <3

#ask #asks #ask cas #tw sui ideation

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lumiereandcogsworth · 6 months

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curious (and you may have discussed it but!!) do you think Adam, once he got his body back, had to relearn certain things? like did he have to rewire his brain to remember “oh right I’m not that strong anymore” or, assuming the castle had any low door frames, do you think he might’ve forgot he wasn’t quite as big anymore and still ducked out of habit?

oooh !!! i have only slightly discussed this before, emily asked about adjusting to his height and not being as tall as he used to be, so i’ll link that here!

i do love the idea of him relearning things because things are just Different. i think he would find both his hands and teeth extremely uncomfortable at first. he got used to the fangs and the general sharpness of his teeth, as well as having really pointy thick claws, so when everything is suddenly smaller and smoother, i think it’s like an awful sensory experience that he has to get used to. (and it was definitely an awful experience to adjust to, when the curse initially happened as well).

on that note i thought of a headcanon recently that i think in his post-curse life he develops a hand fidget where he taps the tip of each finger to his thumb repeatedly. i just think he’d find how small and smooth his finger tips were so WEIRD so he just forms a habit of feeling how flat and non-claw like his fingers have become. i bet he also develops a similar stim of counting his teeth with his tongue. all very unconsciously but just because it all feels so weird at first!!! but then it just becomes fidgety habits.

i definitely agree with what you’re saying though i think adjusting back to his shorter (though, he’s 6’ as a human, so he’s still fairly tall by comparison to belle (5’5) or whoever) and scrawnier build would definitely kind of suck. i touch on this in the first post but he’s always been a scrawny guy, and bullied for it too, so i think he kinda at least slightly appreciated actually having some stature and strength to him. (overall though he was miserable of course, but just if he had to find SOME kind of silver lining, that would’ve been it.)

anyway yeah i definitely think he’d have a reflex of ducking where he always used to duck, or thinking he can move things a lot easier than he could. i also feel like he just forgot about putting on stockings and shoes. which is ironic because he hates being barefoot typically. (and belle loves being barefoot, which is why he’s always annoyed with her cold ass toes when she gets in bed lol) but he had to relearn like, waking up, putting on slippers, going to the dressing room, putting on stockings and shoes, etc. the first handful mornings he probably just got up and started walking around and then was like AGHDKFJDK BLEGH! ya know, when you have sensory issues?

and as a final note, and i should’ve put this in the first post but it just came to me now, i imagined belle one time asking him if he missed his height (he probably reached for a book and then grumbled about how it used to be at his eye-level) and he kind of smirks and says “sometimes, i suppose.” but then he walks over to her and she’s standing in front of him and he says “but i am a very nice height now so i can do this,” and he leans forward and kisses her forehead and she’s like :))) !!!! and he chuckles, proud of himself for making her blush >:)

#gosh like adjusting to all that (both for the curse and then back to normal) would suck for anyone but while also being autistic??? AGH #sensory nightmares right and left :(( my poor lad #but anyway thank you!! i love discussing the curse stuff #i know my primary real estate is after it all but this is good stuff too 🤌🤌#it’s so wild how much we can talk about one topic ya know. like why is this so long afjdkdj #special interest brainrot <3 #adam #batb headcanons #batb 2017

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namedafterflowerstournament · 8 months

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based off your recent post about anti-propoganda (which i agree, totally sucks btw. if your choice is so good, why do you have to crap on the other one?) i was wondering, why don't you like the hunger games? i personally haven't read the other book that was on the poll, but i just looked at the summary and it looks super cool!! i'll have to add it to my list

if this is a bad question/makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete it! i'm just curious, i'm not trying to be mean or anything. have a good day!! :)

Hi ! Thank you for the question ! As long as they're respectful, I don't think there are bad questions, at worst it would be a question I'd rather not answer and it wouldn't make it a bad question at all.

There are several reasons making me against anti-propaganda : people don't know the media they criticize and assume inaccurate things and manage to spread misinformation that way, it can hurt people's feelings when it's quite virulent, it's always easier to criticize than to praise, it encourages harrassment and can create a negative atmosphere and tensions around the polls while people declare which media in a poll is the shittiest.

About The Hunger Games, it's mostly personal but not only.

Just so we're clear, I don't hate the books.

Spoilers ahead.

Bear in mind, I was about 12 when I read the first book. I think I was 13 when I read the last one, since I'm pretty sure it was a while before the first movie came out

I loved the first two books when I read them. I was reading them at the same time as a friend and it was a lot of fun to compare our impressions and screaming at each other through texts as we get emotional about the parts the other had already reached.

It was one of those books I read at night while I should have been asleep, keeping an ear out for my parents so my book didn't get kidnapped by the authorities

[spoilers]

One of the complaint I have -which I didn't really have then because I was a white kid and not as sensibilised to the big issue of POC rep in mainstream media- is this :

There are two characters who are explicitely dark skinned in the books (it's been a long time so I may be wrong about one but I believe he was)

Both die in the first book. I know many characters die in Hunger Games, that's kinda the point, but I still don't think it was necessary.

The movies casted a Black actor for another character (I don't think the character's race was mentioned in the books, my bad if I'm wrong).

Well, I'm sure you'd find it conforting to find out he survived the 1st part of the trilogy.

He dies in the 2nd part, actually.

That's my biggest non personal issue with THG. I haven't actively looked into it, but I've never seen it mentioned in popular posts

The rest is more about personal taste.

I was romance-repulsed when I was in my early teens, to the point I avoided mushy covers and saccharine titles but I would also put a book back if there was the slightest hint of romance, knowing that if it appeared in the summary, it'd be very much likely to be splatered all over the pages. "girl meets a mysterious boy" had me running for the hills every damn time, no matter how much I liked the rest of the summary.

There wasn't the slightest hint of a mysterious boy in the summary so I was convinced it'd be safe and there'd be at worse a very secondary romance subplot.

Que nenni, cher ami. I really didn't expect the romance to be so centerfront and it annoyed the hell out of me because it was predictable af (you didn't even get the element of surprise, which would have made their relationship at least slightly more interesting and redeemable for little me) and I found Peeta very, very boring from the start. Even Arya and Eragon's relationship felt more interesting to me, and while I liked both characters, I was very much not into their romance

(Looks like it's unpopular opinions day. I can't say if I hated Peeta's guts on the spot because I knew a romance with the heroine was coming or because I really thought he was that boring, which is a book character's greatest crime. This isn't really antipropaganda. Peeta's not in the polls. As far as I can tell his name is a corruption of Peter)

I don't blame Suzanne Collins or the books. She didn't do the marketing and her only fault here was to have written a series too compelling for me to put it down despite my grudge against amatonormativity being thrown in my face all the time.

I ignored the budding romance the best I could and kept reading. I enjoyed reading the books. My friend did too. She was #teamgale. I was #teamidon'twantanyromanceinthesebookspleasejustmakethemallfriendsorsomething We had great times criticizing Peeta's every move. The good old days. (Yes I'll stop talking about the poor guy, I think you got the message. Look I'm sorry if you love Peeta like 90% of the fandom, I just don't)

So yes, I managed to mostly not feel too concerned about the most boring romance I've ever read by then (if it's any consolation, I didn't read romances so that's a rather bland statement) and rolling my eyes at the "real or not real" stuff. I'm sorry but I found the inevitability of their relationship quite irritating (which means it probably was great forshadowing for anyone without aro tendencies)

Nevertheless, I was young and had hope.

More seriously, the 1st two books were nice enough. The third...

It felt messier to me. I couldn't decide if it was something the author wanted us to feel as we got closer to the end and signifiant losses impacted Katniss' judgement or if I've grown out of love with the writing style.

Some of Katniss' decisions in her grief were quite questionable but we were meant to question them (well I hope so) so I was mostly fine with it. Mostly. I also felt like she made unnecessary 360° shifts on some occasions

Full disclaimer : I'm not a fan of third books of mainstream dystopia trilogies aimed at teens (i didn't think the Maze Runner and Divergent had satisfying endings -okay I do think the latter was not as good as the others too but that's a personal opinion- for example). I struggled with Endgame's 2nd book and I can say the same with the Lorien Legacies and found Partials' 2nd book disappointing. So, I'm more of a first book type of girl when it's about sf for teens

Well I think I've turned around the bush for a sufficient time so let's get to the part that made me slam the book shut and go to bed instead of rereading passages I liked.

The controversial ending.

Yes, we knew it was coming from the start.

It was gutting nevertheless.

Now I'm a bit older, I get that Peeta didn't bully Katniss into having kids but the formulation made me feel sick at the time.

That wasn't my issue, really.

My issue was I read the epilogue and felt like it was a trap, with Katniss having to resume her life surrounded by mementos of the Games, instead of being allowed to run away and start anew somewhere nobody would have ever known her or looked for her, so she could heal in peace. I thought she deserved that. It felt for me like she'd been robbed of a second chance at life.

That's one thing. The other is a lot more personal and gave me even more grief.

I've fooled myself into thinking that maybe for once a book was aimed at me. As someone not interested into romance at all, I'd hope the heroine might be like me.

Despite all the clues to Peeta being written as her love interest, I've hoped that in the end she wouldn't pick any of the boys. That she'd be tired of them and decide she was better alone romantically speaking. That the heroine would get her happy ending and it'd have nothing to do with a -bland, may I add- love interest (especially a male one, when all 9th graders know that boys have cooties, duh)

That was a very bittersweet ending to me, because I saw too much of myself into Katniss and that I was at an age I was trying to figure out what my life would look like and the answer seemed to be "get a boyfriend like everyone else" and it felt like a betrayal. I was so, so angry about the ending.

So yes I have a quite complicated relationship with the books, but while I think the POC rep could definitely have been better dealt with, the rest is on kid me for not having her expectations met. I can't really blame Collins for not having written the "amatonormativity doesn't have to be the only/right ending/answer ; there are other ways etc." rep I so desperately needed as a questioning teen.

Ah and I didn't like the first movie (and have decided to not watch the others), which is why I don't necessarily used pics in the polls but I probably will for the main bracket. I wasn't a fan of the casting or decors or of the adaptation work to be honest but to each their own and I've seen much worse.

THG isn't a bad series in itself. I have issues with it that probably have roots into systemic racism and also just me getting my heart broken

As for the Wayfarers series (The Long Way To a Small Angry Planet is the first book), it is lovely ! A great soft sci-fi feel good space opera series with queer, disability and POC rep

I hope I've satisfied your curiosity here because that was quite a rant, op

#not polls #asks and answers #long post

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dekusleftsock · 2 years

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Okay, this is random but you always have interesting thoughts so I decided to ask. Despite being a girl, I've always had a difficult time relating to female characters in stories. As a child I preferred male characters over girl characters, as I often found them rather annoying. There have been a few female characters over the years that I've related to and liked though, so I started to analyze why I had such a short list. I finally concluded it was because I found most female characters to be poorly written. What do you think? As a little kid, most female characters felt more like cardboard cutouts than people to me, and due to that I was often unable to relate to or become invested in their stories. I've seen people in the past wonder why ao3 tends to neglect female characters so much, in particular lesbian couples. For me at least, it was often that I did not find any of the female characters interesting enough to read/write a fanfic about them. When I talked to other girls in various fandoms, they felt the same way. However, I've also noticed that girls tend to have higher standards for female characters than they do for male characters. In my own experience, that's been fairly true. I've noticed in general that female fans often have more sympathy for male characters and their struggles, but less sympathy for female characters and their struggles. I say this both as an observation of others and of my own behavior. I'm always working to become better, but often as a child I had far less sympathy and patience for female characters, especially when they did something I disliked. I don't know exactly why this happens, but having asked others girls/women, I found this all to be generally true. Why do you think this happens?

OHHH IVE BEEN SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS!

Couple of things I wanna establish. The male vs female gaze and the cringification of femininity/“childlike” things.

Quick cw, I do mention a quote that talks about slavery. It dips its toes into some of the horrors of it in American history so please keep that in mind.

The thing with toxic masculinity is that it doesn’t just affect men. A patriarchal society will ALWAYS RESULT in the demonization of femininity, calling things that are romantic or pretty “childlike”, “unrealistic”, or “simple”.

So when we see very simple or annoying girl characters, it’s because men only see this idea of femininity as what women are. When, in reality, women and men are complex. Fitting people into these stereotypical ideas of masculinity or femininity IS the simple silly ideas that men create and women support. So, femcells don’t exist, pick me girls are a result of men taking away women’s individuality, and women are more complicated than romance or silly makeup.

But let’s take a step back and talk about the female vs male gaze, which I think is really the main issue here. In America and the west at least, the male gaze tends to have an actual cookie cut out idea of the perfect and attractive woman. This being, a nurturing woman who is white/lighter skinned, has a small nose, semi decently sized lips, a soft but not fat jawline, etc etc the list goes on. Here’s some images within the fine art world of women made by men.

Art made by Nenad Vasic

Art made by Richard Young

And finally, art made by John Collier

All of these women out of the male artists I found on the site, barely had even slightly diverse women. It was all skinny, slightly less skinny, white women with brown or blonde hair, maybe red if you pushed it. And this is even shown in the tumblr sexy men vs tumblr sexy women!

Urban dictionary defines a tumblr sexy man as, “A male character who goes viral on Tumblr for perceived attractiveness based on an established formula. Usually white, tall, dresses fancy and is evil or has a ‘dark side.’ Though the character can be non human or non human and anthrofied to fit the said formula. Most of the time, said character isn’t really as attractive as Tumblr weirdly makes him out to be.”

Examples off the top of my head are sans, bill cypher, dr. Habit, regan, megamind, plankton, aizawa etc. For tumblr sexy WOMEN the beauty standard is much more linear. Hatsune miku, catra, bowser woman(?), sombra, etc.

When you look at fine art or of tumblr sexy men, there’s a much more… individualistic approach to the female gaze. How people view men. In fact, the standards for men are much lower than women (though still bullshit) because most of the actual beauty standards are ones made up by men in their heads. They DECIDED what women liked, not taking into account that it’s much less centralized when making the “perfect man”.

I think the shows you watched also played a part into this. A lot of it depends on where you live, so like, in the US Cartoon Network and Disney channel stuff would have been common. (Ofc pbs too)

In a lot of “older” shows in the west like teen titans, any Disney movie, or dexters laboratory, didn’t necessarily make their women.. bad? Per say? More just, simpler. They fit into set tropes a lot of the time, like Raven being the goth mean girl or Velma being the super smart short haired girl.

It’s not that any of these shows were bad either! It’s just how the gender binary works.

I also feel like part of this plays into internalized misogyny. I dealt with it for years and based on what you’ve said I’m gonna say you probably did too. I hated pink, dressed totally tomboy, stepped as far away from femininity as possible, and now I’m inching back towards it. Pink is my second favorite color.

A lot of the girl characters I used to hate were just insecure and liked pink a lot of the time.

Anyway, I tried my best not to psychoanalyze you out of nowhere odhdijdodjdidn sorry

The thing with why society hates femininity is that the binary gives women humanity. The term “female” is just, disgusting to use, but why? Why do we see this term as inherently inhuman? There’s this quote that I love from a book I’ve been planning to read. Book is called “Females”, by Andrea LongChu. Page 45, “In the United States, the man known as the father of gynecology, J. Marion Sims, built the field in the south operating on enslaved women in his backyard, often without anesthesia or, of course, consent. As C. Riley Snorton has recently documented, the distinction between biological females and women as a social category, far from a neutral scientific observation, develops precisely in order for the captive black woman to be recognized as female. Making Sims’ research applicable to his women patients and polite white society, without being granted the status of social and legal personhood. Sex was produced in the other words, precisely at the juncture where gender was denied. In this sense, a female has always been less than a person.”

As stated in the quote, this term of “female” as opposed to “woman” or “girl” has always been used as a way to dehumanize SPECIFICALLY enslaved black women. Femininity and the gender binary, no matter how much I hate it, gives people in western and white society, humanity. When you demonize the very things that define your binary, or even call them simple, stupid, or arrogant, it is feeding into the idea that womanhood and therefore your humanity, should not exist. That, is why men and society hates femininity.

You must see women as people.

#ahhh this got in so many different directions I should have elaborated on but ITS JUST SO MUCH #The gender binary in the west is just #so interesting #anyway #femininity #indomitable human spirit #leftsock rambles #feminism #toxic masculinity #humanization

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greywindys · 2 years

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gorillaz whatever-this-phase-is good ending: the band is reprimanded for enabling the mental disintegration of their senior citizen bass player

(i mean, when a severally mentally ill 56 year old is starting to talk "cults" and is dressing up in robes, that's at least when you take them to a home, right?)

(on a serious note, idk why this phase is just off putting to me. i know im overthinking it, but murdoc really just seems out of his mind this phase. and it makes me uncomfortable that there's never been a band member to even SLIGHTLY care about that. or call it out in a way that doesn't make them seem "annoyed" about it. seeing this character go through so many breakdowns that are supposed to be "funny" is just unenjoyable, plain and simple. maybe it's my inability to forget about past phases, but if you add it all up, it really seems like murdoc finally snapped.)

Oh snap!! You went there! Oh shit!

Jk, but also not since Murdoc haters/non-fans will never go away. I like that you brought this up, and I think you make a lot of good and valid points. It would be such a plot twist if they went there, but they would never take that much of a risk. The band would never be legally reprimanded since Murdoc is an adult and has the right to self-determination, but it is kinda dumb of them to just play along with his delusions. Like, I’ll just say it - the entire storyline this album makes them look really, really, idiotic. It's not something I would do, personally.

I lol'd at "take them to a home." But yeah, if we were going to play this out realistically, assuming Murdoc is in treatment, the first step would be a medication adjustment since he seems to be becoming more symptomatic. If that doesn't work, he might try and intensive outpatient type of treatment. If it gets to a point where he appears to be a risk to himself or others, then he may need to be hospitalized until he can get stable on medication again. If he's really deteriorated, then he may need a long-term hospitalization, but Gorillaz will never get this serious.

Tbh, I've almost gotten to a point where I'll think about potential story directions, but only for my own ideas, never to seriously try to ~predict canon plot points because Gorillaz, as it exists now, is not about story anymore. Your third paragraph reminds why I sometimes wish it was, even if it would be executed poorly. They're going for silly and fun, but if you think about it for more than two seconds, it's not really that funny at all, and the humor isn’t smart or satirical. I've complained about Murdoc "winning" all the time, and I still think that's an issue, but you're absolutely right about how they regularly skim over, minimize or make fun of what he goes through. Yes, you can say “he’s just a cartoon character,” but I personally, can’t accept that when I know there are a lot of people out there who have struggled the same way he has, and relate to him. And there is, afaik, no greater social commentary or lesson that comes from this. The point is just to make fun of Murdoc because he sucks. He does suck, but if you want to address his suckiness, address it directly, don't get to a point where the message is "he's done these bad things wrong, therefore he deserves all these other unrelated bad things." If Gorillaz placed more value on story and character arcs, this might be addressed, but alas...it's unlikely at this point.

#asks.#Anonymous

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transenbyconfessions · 2 years

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Ftm here (i think. C: ) so uh does anyone relate to your breasts being like, not always dysphoric but unnecessary in a way? Like you're a machine and these are just unnecessary parts for decor and you're like I could run faster without these. I could be happy without these. When you just sort of go neutral as in "I'm in a flesh prison which has- questionable parts" is it just coping thinking?

Also gay. But!!!!!!!!! EVERYBODY GORGEOUS AND ATTRACTIVE. EVERYBODY IS SO GORGEOUS MY BREATHING STOPS. PEOPLE ARE ABSOLUTELY MIND BLOWINGLY BEAUTIFUL. EVERYONE. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. HUH?!?!?!?!? WHY LIMIT ME. WHY LIMIT ME???? HOW DARE THEY LIMIT ME. I WANT TO MWAH EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO AS WELL. BUT I FEEL NOTHING unless a man. This is a dramatic expression to easen up a little. Maybe you smiled reading this? And also, also gives weird relationship with my uh private parts. Which, I know, I'm just talking about my experience with it. I'm not attracted to women in that way, but I love women omgggg the bs they go through (and me too, since, ya know, closet) and women have such low self-esteem and body image (obviously this comes for everyone, I'm just making a point) and I'm all heated up yelling at my phone at every woman on tiktok who shares a story where she's been talked down upon like "YOU. ARE. SO BEAUTIFUL. IF U COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, THAT'S THAT ON THAT!!!" (I know it can be annoying to be told "but you're beautiful" when you have issues about your image, so I don't literally tell this insensitively to everybody I see lol); but thennnn I look at my chest and I'm just hit down by a hated slap. Like, am I genderfluid? I don't hate my chest but is it because I don't mind it and I am genderfluid, (or not trans, hello, impostor) OR BECAUSE I'm a misogynist?? OR did I adapt to cis het men making comments about my body since I was an early teen, as a girl, and now I male gaze myself, since I'm a man? Because I think I could convince myself of being a girl or liking women. Which means, I might be convincing myself of being a boy or liking men. Not enjoy it, but convince, and convictions go strong. But it's such a quiet but strong feeling of terror and prison with being a girl or having to pretend to be attracted to women, so, I am pretty sure I'm not a woman or attracted to women even sometimes, and that I'm not non-binary because it also makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. But is it because I'm not nonbinary or because I internalised hate towards nonbinary people??? Because if it's the latter, big oof and fuck me. I like traditionally feminine things + but in a timed way, like the expression of femininity would be me being a drag queen but without sass. Woman cosplay. Maybe because I believe only women are allowed to be feminine, and you have to be a woman to express yourself that way? Interesting. Interesting sus for ducks sake. Or, or do I feel more connected to boy love because when I was young, I was in love while roleplaying an mlm relationship, but the "partner" was actually a girl in real life, and I had such a strong connection with the person IN the roleplay that I mind bended my gender and emotionally tied myself to being a boy in real life? Food for thought *deep thinking Sasuke* But I showed signs of being a boy before that and that could be just an awakening push. But was I just a tomboy.

I did not! Mean to make it this long (in the beginning ;-;). But I do come here occasionally and I see posts about things I haven't heard anywhere which are relatable, or that you can't mention in a conversation, so I think maybe someone will see this and also feel maybe not better, but at least not alone. And this is like a mini-therapy session lol but I do believe it could benefit somebody else to read that. (Helps me to read someone doubting, so) However this doesn't need to be posted if it's inappropriate to make it this long? It's a confessional mini-essay. I think it's appropriate?? I'm sorry if it's not.

#trans #transgender #transmasculine #transmasc #ftm #trans guy #trans man #transgender man #transgender guy #questioning #internalized transphobia

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mejomonster · 23 days

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I finished final fantasy vii rebirth and. Some mixed opinions.

The main good points: as a Sequel to original FF7? Its good. The women are all written well (which was a concern considering Kairi and Lunafreya in past games), and everyone was in character just fleshed out more (with 2 slight exceptions). What the game did best was accomplish an open world game, world spanning adventure, stick fairly well to some main highlights from original ff7 (which is what people wanted for ages) and with new stuff thats fun if you like the world, very little wasting of player time (so much better than ff7 remake). It did open world well, pacing well, side quests and mini games well, characters well, combat well, and overall gave the feel of what square enix was maybe Hoping and Wishing to successfully accomplish in a mainline game for years but either hasnt been able to achieve on a technical level or fumbled in the past. (So no time wasting dungeons like ff7 remake, fleshed out open world with stuff you enjoy doing so more than ff15, open world so more than ff13, and combat that feels like things theyve learned and improved on well). How it feels to play? Great, fast paced, no dead time, all enjoyable game you came to play. (With the exception maybe of Cait Siths box mandatory mini game and the aerith in ancient temple magic platforms thing but they both werent too difficult to push through if you dont enjoy them).

The bad? Mostly... if you treat Rebirth as a SEQUEL to original ff7, these arent major issues. They just annoy me as a player of the original ff7 game. Because i know plenty of people will ONLY play ff7 Remake and Rebirth etc, and never know the original characterizations. So 2 characters were slightly unlike their original ff7 selves, and instead more like their Advent Children (and general non ff7 appearances) selves: aerith and sephiroth. Sephiroth's character being NOT like ff7 originals is more irritating personally. Because yeah... i get it. As a sequel to original ff7, this Remake/Rebirth Sephiroth might be from the future (so he is Advent Children esque version of himself), hes had time post losing his way to really get all mysterious and hyperfocus on cloud and be a looming vague pest. But the thing is... in the original ff7 the reason we learn hes used to be a SOLDIER war hero, is so the cast and you are confused why he kills Shinra people. Then you and the casy figure: well cloud remembers sephiroth finding out hes a monster cause of shinra, justifiable for sephiroth to hate shinra. Unflrtunately Sephiroth also decided to hate ALL HUMANS. Then you later find out maybe Jenovas controlling Sephiroth/one with him etc. But the key here is you find out at some point in original ff7 that sephiroths goal is mainly Destroy World because Hes not Human. Rebirth... does not clarify this very important and very BASIC point ever. Maybe it assumes its so basic that as a ff7 fan you should know.. but plenty of new players wont. Rebirth clarifies yes sephiroth may be Jenovas kid... but the whole MOM, im an ancient like Jenova! Oh Jenova isnt an ancient oh well fuck humans anyway! Either way fuck humans ill kill them all! None of those Very basic sephiroth motives are clarified much. I felt Rebirth did good explaining the Gi and the black materia. But to make Sephiroths motives so vague, why he wants to end the world SO VAGUE, why hes in clouds head (the black robes are everywhere but the game HINTS theure sephiroth clones but never actually spells it out eevn though its a BASIC KEY DETAIL). Now... because Rebirth is a sequel, it makes sense... if hes Advent Children Sephiroth he already knows he isnt an ancient, knows hes Jenovas kid, knows he wants to fuck with Cloud specifically now and the world generally but not necessarily so singlemindedly desperate to just kill all humans. So yes, Sephiroth is in character for his future self... but i feel like even with him less SINGLE MINDED and freshly with Jenova, clarifying some basics of his Original old timeline motives... would be helpful to new fans. So it annoyed me. I think the biggest Not Good writing decision in Rebirth was to never fucking clarify Sephiroths original basic goal: im not human like mom, hate humans, kill world. I suspect the writers either thought players KNEW so hinted instead of being on the nose (but to new players theyll just be CONFUSED), or they plan to explain those basic things in game 3. Which seems stupid to me and shouldve been explained earlier.

And Aerith. As a sequel? She remembered the other timeline which explained some moments she was calmer than original ff7. She forgot, then toward the end of Rebirth she seems to have remembered the other timeline again and that she needs to die and X happens etc. So her being calmer based on the plot they wrote for Rebirth? Makes sense. However... i deeply miss her Original FF7 personality where as an Ancient she freaks out a bit LIKE sephiroth, paralleling him, that shes not human, a freak, that it all rests on her as only one ancient left. Their overwhelm parallels each other. Aerith is more scared in original ff7 of being the only ancient, of what it means, of finding out more. That fear is slightly there in Rebirth but WAY LESS. its only a little in cosmo canyon and almost gone in the Ancient Temple. In ff7 expanded universe theyve changed her character over time to a calmer wiser goddess type like in Advent Children, and so yes in Rebirth when she remembers the alrernate timeline it makes sense she'd be calmer like her future self. However... i miss original ff7 aerith. I miss her initial shock, loneliness, fear of the weight on her shoulders, not being sure what to do. Her and Sephiroth, because of Rebirth writing them to know more, act more like their future selves and so. While it is in character and logical to the Rebirth plot. Its also sad to me that anyone who only plays Remake and Rebirth simply wont see what they were like WHEN these revelations were brand new shocks to them, forcing them to react and grow and fear. I dont think Aerith is written bad, i just think because this game is in reality is a Sequel im just personally mourning that it didnt have that as much of the original Aerith's personality who was afraid and discovering. Mostly her Rebirth personality is similar to original ff7s. But in some high tension moments shes way calmer and wiser than in the original. I miss getting to see some of that before to after character growth.

Oh and. The aerith dies scene. Does it make sense in context of Rebirth written as a sequel? Sure. Is it impactful? Not as much as the original. In Rebirth, theres a scene where Cloud is losing control and listening to Sephiroth and attacks Tifa, causing Tifa to fall into mako. That scene is high stakes and emotional and lands WELL. Later in Rebirth, when Aerith actually dies, Cloud has not lost control and isnt the one who killed her. Its fine, as a sequel to ff7 i get the choice to make him able to stop himself from hurting her. But it does make the scene less impactful: now cloud will NOT be blaming himself for her death, will not be struggling with the guilt and fear, and will not be as terrified of losing control again. Since he wasnt the one who attacked her. And since he saw her ghost/something post death, hes not even sad or grieving her. He thinks shes fine. These 2 things will result in a WILDLY DIFFERENT cloud moving forward than the original ff7 one who very much was distraught and horrified he did that. So like... as a sequel its fine these changes were made. But death wise... i wouldve prefered like, cloud drops her from up high qhile struggling with whispers, or doesnt get to her in time and sephiroth stabs her when shes too far away. The way Rebirth did it, cloud was near her, she gets stabbed anyway. It seemed to me almost like the writing was trying to vaguely or softly kill her, like somehow making it vague would make it hurt less. Yeah it did hurt less... but id rather if a character i love dies that its a Worthy Scene for them to die in. A strong meaningful scene that makes me cry, that felt like the loss it is. The Rebirth scene... couldve done its plot as intended and just make Cloud farther away or something and it wouldve been better to me. Maybe the writing point was Cloud thinks its fine, and its still not, and he cant even feel distaught because he cant tell if she died or if things are fine? Thats the only angle i can see where maybe the death scene did what the writers wanted? Anyway. Aeriths moms death made me sob, Aeriths death did not. It is what it is. I feel like Tifa, crying in my heart off screen, the game acting like Cloud like its fine and it looks fine to him but im confused like Tifa aa to why hes (the game) treating it that way. Lol.

Overall? Um 4/5. 8/10? Really solid square enix game, Amazing as far as final fantasy 7 SEQUELS go. It has one main weak spot in treating Sephiroth fully mysterious when a few clarifying details could help the game stand on its own Better (and make Sephiroth a stronger enemy character instead of a vaguer one). The other weak spots are more my personal preference and mourning the parts of ff7 original i miss and had wished were in this, but as this is a Sequel in a parallel timeline i dont feel the parts effect Rebirth on its own merit. It IS the best Square Enix game ive played in ages, at least since Final Fantasy X or XII. I thought it was better than FF13, FF15, definitely better than ff7 remake (i hate time wasting dungeons and bad pacing its a dealbreaker), and than kh3 (although kh3 was quite good for a kh sequel). I get to play FF16 next, which will hopefully be as good as Rebirth or better! Since its also on the PS5 and clearly from Rebirth, the square enix main team can do excellent combat, open world, level design, mini games, side quests, and good pacing now. So i'll just have to see if ff16's story is better. And i am guessing it hopefully will be, since Rebirth as an ff7 sequel has some weirdness to its plot quite typical of ff7 extended universe stories like Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus. Whereas ff16 is a brand new plot, so they have nothing preventing them from a tight excellent written story except themselves. I am curious how BIG ff16s world will be though. Because ff7 Rebirths world was MASSIVE and very full of stuff, tons of mini games, cool stuff to find or do or little character side quests. If ff16 also takes me 60 hours to beat the main story its gonna be thw longest final fantasy main title ive ever played.

Rebirth is very replayable if you enjoyed it. I will probably replay ff7 original soon.

#final fantasy vii rebirth #ff7r #lb #rant #oh and shipping discourse lol: if you ship tifa x aerith? GREAT TIME #tifa mourns aerith more than cloud does. tifa aerith ARE IN LOVE. great time for me as an aerti fan and ot4 fan #i do think in theory the writers had aerith x cloud scenes more in Rebirth since aerith dies at the end. and predict game 3 will have #more tifa x cloud scenes. so itll be even by the end. i think everything was in character tho tbh #(in my opinion anyway)#like. aerith x tifa x cloud x zack i ship and they clearly all CARE for each other. zack loves aerith but also saved cloud #when aerith likes cloud. zack is big enough to be happy for aerith and want her to have what SHE wants.#cloud loved zack and was so fucked emotionally when zack died he convinced himself he WAS zack. tifas his childhood crush. aerith likes him #and he gradually does like her back too. (clouds very not interested in crushes tho tbh. hed happilt be in ot3 with #tifa and aerith or ot4 with zack or ot3 with barret too if they just told him to be)#and tifa loves cloud but wisely isnt sure how he feels OR whats going on mentally with him. and is focusing on building trust #that cloud will communicate with her BEFORE getting romantic (shes wise we should all copy her). and she loves aerith. which is goof #cause cloud isnt giving aerith some care she Needs. but Tifa always does give aerith that support.#tifa knows aerith likes cloud. so tifa simply is likinv her 2 crushes (happy to be in an ot3 if aerith and cloud would start it)#but tifas shy and slow going ans values friends MORE so shes not making any major moves until she knows the other 2 aerith and cloud #are emotionally stable (and theyre lol not)#and now shes grieving aerith so :/. my point is: all the romance is written very in character #very similar to original ff7. and if ur a tifa AND aerith as characters fan like me?#its really NICE to have 2 main woman leads in a game (with romance even) who are full characters ON THEIR OWN #and really well written and with relationships outside of cloud. (again... after lunafreya and kairi #i was worried tifa or aerith as love interests might get written BAD or flat or destroyed writing wise #by some shitty square enix writer *cough* who tends to butcher woman characters if theyre love interests)#so im super glad i could just enjoy tifa and aerith #also as a Non romance lover. i enjoyed that Rebirth focused HEAVY on friends but had very little actual romance #flirting yeah sure. but aerith and tifa never even kissed cloud in my playthrough (yay for me)#their crushes are just side details they mention to be direct and communicate (wise of them) but the romance isnt the main point

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angeltism · 9 months

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Hey friend, I hope that it's okay to respond to vents; if not please delete this I don't want to cross any boundaries!

But if it helps; I view you as a friend, even if we don't talk much! (Mainly because I don't reach out) I think you're really cool both in the sense of your editing style and knowing the real you, the things you reblog and are into and the things you talk about! I know I'm just one person, so I don't really imagine that me reaching out this way is all that reassuring, but I really hope we can become friends because I absolutely adore you/p and would love to get to know you more!

Talking to people and general interactions can be incredibly hard, don't be so hard on yourself for not being "good at it", heck, I can't really talk to people without Anon!

I certainly don't think you are annoying or anything, like I said- I think you're very cool! You're just hard on yourself! -☁️

DEAREST CLOUD ANONNIE WHAT IF I CRIED RN. SLASH POSITIVE. (ALTHO I DO NAWT ACTUALLY CRY VERY MUCH IRL,,)

This reply got LONG so err. under the cut. ☁️ anonnie u are really so niceys sobbing crying sosososo hard.

Okay okay ahem. So for replying to vents I don't typically mind?? It tends to be on a more case by case thing for me, but worst case I just don't reply to it or at the worst maybe have a slightly grumpy reply?? But unless I ever say like. To nawt reply. Then honestly go ahead if you feel like ya want to. I appreciate it in some/most circumstances, actually! But of course you don't have to. Yeahhh.

But anyways like. THABKYOU ACTUALLY 😭😭 this is sosososo kind of you. And I'm glad to know that beings on here actually like me, as it's pretty obvious at this point that I have some massive self esteem issues (/lh, just stating a fact, lol) so I do tend to be pretty hard on myself, I'll admit,,

and honestly I get nawt being able to talk to beings without anon!! I feel like I used to be much more social and able to appear "desirable" (platonically!! nawt some other way, just couldn't think of another word, lol) or generally likeable before some people knew me off-anon, which is. a pretty big part of my current insecurities tbh. so I get it and I'm glad to have somebeing to sympathize with, I guess? :} and again,, it's kinda stupid but getting reassurance from others is nice, even if it's only one person. I bet you're super cool off-anon, too, dear cloud anonnie!! <3 (platonic heart. and this also applies 2 all the other non nons I've gotten!! y'all have been nothing but sososososo nice omg)

Anyways er,, I would love to be your friend, dear cloud anonnie!! You have been oh so nice 2 me and seem really cool,, I'd love to get to know you and tell you about myself!! :3

#➳ the fool's mail box #➳ sender; ☁️ anon #ALSO THANKYOU FOR COMPLEMENTING MY EDITING... THIS IS LONG ENOUGH BUT AAAAAAAA #you're just so nice helpppp... sobbing like actually augh. am i seeming like a loser rn. whatever i appreciate it when beings r nice to me #:3

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a-weird-cryptid · 1 year

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Ok... How do I say this without pissing off literally every aroace person who has read this book? I don't think I can...

Well, guess I'll just say it how it is, then:

I did not like...

This time, the review is rather a rant about why I didn't like "Loveless". Meaning that it's just criticism. I also decided to split this rant into a spoiler and non spoiler section which can be found at the beginning and end respectively.

I'll assume you've read the book for the spoiler section, or at least know what the story's about, since explaining the entire plot would make this already way to long post even longer. For the non-spoiler section there's no need to have read the book.

Disclaimer:

I don't dislike this book purely because of the fact that the characters are queer. In fact, I'm aroace as well and I got extremely excited to read a book from the perspective of an aroace teen. Yet, I was left dissapointed.

I could only find the German version at the time, since I live in Germany. But based of experience, translated books aren't necessarily worse than the English original. I'm mentioning that, because some of my issues could stem from the fact that I didn't read it in English.

I also want to mention that it's been a while since I read a part of "Loveless". Meaning that I might not remember every detail of it. This review is basically just a "pissed off rant" about the parts I do remember and really want to talk about. Therefore I didn't bother to look up specific pages, paragraphs, characters etc.

So far I've only seen aroace people praise this book on the internet. Saying it's incredible, wonderful, etc. And any other aroace person I know who read the book liked it as well. But I didn't.

In fact, I got so annoyed by the story that I stopped reading the book about half way through. I have absolutely nothing against aroace characters and I'd love to see more representation of it in fiction. But the main character (I think her name was Georgia) annoyed me to no end.

SPOILER WARNING!

(My final thoughts can be read spoiler free at the end)

I really don't understand why she never figured out about asexuality and aromanticism before the story begins, as well as for the entire part that I've read about. It's in my opinion extremely unrealistic.

If she didn't have access to the internet or lived in a society where queerness is actively surpressed/noone talks about it being a thing, or similar, then I could totally understand it.

But she has access to the internet. As well as a friend who's a lesbian and told her all about it. All about being queer. Meaning that Georgia had more than enough opportunities and reasons to wonder if she might be queer as well. Heck, she even questions if she might be queer multiple times. Just never coming to any kind of conclusion for whatever reason.

Finding out about asexuality and aromanticism is literally just one search away. You don't even have to know about the labels. Just search for sth like "why don't I feel romantic/sexual attraction". Or heck, just ask your lesbian friend who most likely did a bit of research about queerness in general as well. It's not that hard!

I also hate how Georgia's friends seem to always force her into situations she clearly doesn't feel comfortable with. Those aren't real friends, Georgia. If they were, they'd accept you the way you are and wouldn't force you to kiss people, even though your body language makes it clear that you don't want to.

The fact that, when Georgia joins the queer club thingy at the university, she doesn't ask anybody about her experience, is pretty unrealistic as well. At least under her circumstances.

I also remember there was a guy who's flag pins Georgia couldn't categorize. She's clearly curious about them. But even when the guy and her get closer, she still doesn't ask about what those flags mean. Again, in my opinion rather unrealistic.

I also think it's extremely annoying that every time there's an even slightly sexual or romantic scene, Georgia sees it as necessary to state how disgusted she is by it in great detail. I get it. You don't like to see, hear or experience those things. But I could already got that in the first few chapters and there's no need to constantly "remind" me of that. One great explanation of your sexual and romantic repulse was more than enough.

I would have loved to see where Georgia's character goes from that, but the only characteristic she seems to have is being sex and romance repulsed (unless it's fictional).

SPOILER SECTION'S OVER

None of the characters, neither main cast nor any side characters, seem deep, 3 dimensional and interesting to explore. None of them make me feel like I wanted to know more about them. Nothing they did or said made me actually care about them. They just seemed like annoying cardboard cutouts to me with only a few character traits. Most of which were focused on their sexuality alone.

I know that's suppose to be the focus of that book. But it makes me a bit pissed to know that I've read other books focusing a lot on romance aspects as well, but the characters were way more interesting and fleshed out. Meaning that it's possible to do so and "Loveless" just failed on that aspect.

And I'm even more dissapointed to know that I've read books who's main focus isn't on the romance aspects, but they managed it to depict (aro-) ace characters better than this book did.

It really felt like the author tried to actively write the main character in a way that makes her not realize she's aroace for as long as possible. Dragging it out for longer than necessary. I'd rather have the main character figure it out earlier and then struggling to accept that she's aroace. Cause it surely would have been less annoying and more relatable. Especially because I know many aroaces don't have issues finding out about their sexuality, but rather accepting and embracing it. Just like I did and still do. I know that the book focuses on that as well, but I think the execution was rather bad nonetheless.

Keep in mind that this is just my subjective opinion and I of course don't represent the entire aroace community. If you're aroace and you haven't read the book yet, I'd highly recommend to do so in order to judge for yourself. I, again, know that it is loved by many aroaces. I believe my opinion is not the rule, it's the exception, if you know what I mean.

I know this post will prob piss off many (aroace) people and I'm pretty sure many will argue about why my opinion is objectively wrong or sth. But I made this extremely critical review because I wanted to see if any other aroace person thinks the same about "Loveless". Or at least understands what my issues with it are.

If you enjoy or love "Loveless", I'm glad you do. If you see yourself represented by Georgia or any other character of this book, I'm really happy for you. But personally, there were just too many things that bothered me and I couldn't relate to Georgia at all, even though I'm sex repulsed as well. Perhaps "Loveless" gets better in the second half and end and/or some of my critique points get "explained", but I doubt I'll ever get there.

I'm giving this book a 1/5 stars. 0 being the worst and 5 the best.

Simply because I know many (aroace) people love "Loveless" and many feel extremely represented and seen by it.

This is my second book review based of the poll I made once.

For more reviews, discussions, original stories/series and more, check out my master list of series.

#loveless #alice oseman #book rant #rant post #book review

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evansencezz · 1 year

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o(_ _o)ノ☆ EVERYTHINGS OKAY o(_ _o)ノ☆—Kai Adachi—>ﾟ)))彡

Notes: PunkAu!, fluff, slight fluff, kai x various, valentines day, early kai happy brithday post, festivals, slight separtion anxiety, theriean still sucks, overprotective akari, almost everyones here, funny, rom-com, easily embrassed kai, just like me fr, video games, robery, threatening, two fight scences in here, strawberries, kai has a illness, kai has anixety and actual physical illness, undiganosed illness, shes still a blood mage, unstable magic, smokinng, drinking, mind fog while smooking, side eyes, nods towards non-cannon kai AU traumaz, bipolar, very easily annoyed kai, anger issues, physical pain, kinda sad at some parts, akari goes away, in charge kai, kai takes akaris place, pin-wall, theriean is a cocky fucker, almost cannon theriean x kai, average kai getting pinned down., cute ending, kissing, valentines day, arashi and kai don’t like each other, arashi is fucking annoying, human!arashi, confession, kai is really cute in this, traidtional clothing, why is everyone trying to get kai to stop being a virgin, maya is cute, maya is still like theriean, they don’t like each other obv.

The white-nette girl sighed and ran a hand through her hair. The couple of red strains that colored the hair fell out, she seriously hated them so much.

“Oh, morning Kai!” A familar voiced entered.

The girl glanced at who it was. She saw Reko, they weren’t extremely close, but close enough.

“Kai?? Your shaking..” She pointed out.

When the other looked down, her hands were shaking. Pretty violently, and twitchy aswell. Her ears ringed before she quickly tucked them behind her back.

“Oh sorry..I’ve just been very twitchy lately. Anyways, do you need something?” They smiled tensly.

The pink haired girl glanced behind their back for a second before smiling.

“The others were just wondering where you were, y’know, people from uptop coming down here today again?” She asked.

The red eyed person blinked a couple times before tensing further.

“Right, of course. I’ll be there straight away.” She straightly replied.

The taller made a confused expression before shrugging. She waved behind her before quickly leaving.

“I’m such a weridoooo!!’” They whined as soon as they knew she was out of earshot.

It was true, they had werid habits and manners. Well, whatever you could consider manners down here.

They blew out a puff of air before walking out of their room. The main hallway immeditally greeted them and they glanced around.

“Kai?” A tired voice called.

The person probably didn’t see it, but she made a face. But plastered a netural expression on before turning around.

“Ah! Suimuki, do you need anything?” She crossed her hands behind her back again.

The inventor, who was peeking her head out of her doorway stayed silent. It looked like she was nodding off before she perked up and nodded lazily.

“Yeah, for you to stop talking like that.” She sarcastically said.

The former erked before tilting her head.

“Right! Anything else?” She contuined bitter.

“Coffee, you know how I take it.~” She responded back, closing one of her eyes before closing the door.

Kai scoffed before making her way further down the hallway. Once she entered the dining room, everyone was gathering their food.

“Morning, my love.~” Maya greeted her, slightly downward from her usual tone.

She didn’t say anything, only scowling when she pecked her cheek. She heard her laugh before scampering off. Fucker.

“Damnit! I can’t believe you get more play then ME!” The second eldest of the Adachi’s complained.

The younger finished picking up her food, looking up and raising an eyebrow at Astro.

“More people like me because I like both genders. You only like one, therefore, making your dating..limited.” She curtely responded.

Her sister, which had a piece of avcado in her mouth only flipped them off.

“Real elegant, Astro.” A new player entered the thunderdome, Mars.

They swallowed their food and scowled at the both of them. Flipping them off with both hands.

“Fuck you both then!!” They hissed.

Kai only placed a sarcastic smile on their face before liting up when they saw Theriean. He was sitting down with, Hiraeith, Ace, Violet, and Celeste.

“Lover boy, huh?” Mars nudged the younger.

They flushed and scooted away from the maroon eyed girl, glaring. She simply shot them a smile before walking off.

The youngest adachi glanced towards the male again, but this time he noticed. He grinned and waved them over.

They tensed but carefully went over there.

“Hey, apprentince. Come sit with us.” He greeted.

God, it took her entire being not to fold. She loved his voice so much. It was lowered but not too much.

“Apprentince?” He broke her out of it.

She flinched and smiled tensly before quickly sitting down next to Hiraeith. The purple eyed girl raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

“So..uhm..how..how are you..?” She blurted out.

The red eyed female resisted the urge to rip her hair out and face palm at the question. The male’s eyes crinkled as he smiled wider.

“Oh? How am I? Well, better now that you finally showed up.” He answered smoothly.

The girl opened her mouth slightly and flushed a little red. The man only laughed before studying her.

“Jesus, releax Kai.” Hiraeith mummbled.

The said girls eye twitched. She took a few pieces of fruit and sighed.

“Have you guys heard of the festival?? I’ve already been asked five times!” Violet inquired.

The white haired person looked up and quickly glanced at Theriean. His eyes were focused on the blonde.

“Oh yeah? Did you accept any of them?” He asked.

She rolled her eyes before sighing.

“Absoutetly not! I’d rather Iris ask me other then that.” She said.

Everyone at the table glanced at one another, in a knowing way.

“Telling. Anyways, the festival is basically for lunar new year!” Ace simply said before explaing.

The youngest Adachi wasn’t really paying attention. They finished the rest of their coffee before flinching when a bell rang.

“Ah!- You guys know what that means! See ya later!~” Celeste yanked the rest of the group and walked away with their plates.

Kai made a face as a thought paced through her head.

‘THEY’RE SETTING ME UP! THEY AREN’T EVEN IN THE SAME DIVISON.’ She sweat-dropped.

She turned her attention to her crush as he picked up his plate and raised an eyebrow.

“You comin’?” He stood up.

She flustered slightly and her hands shook as she grabbed her plate and things. Theriean’s eyes squinted at her before nudging his head and walking.

She quickly followed after, but something was bugging her.

‘Did I take my meds??’ She tried to remeber.

Her mind went blank. Knowing herself, she guessed she did. But of course, she couldn’t be certian.

“Kai, c’mon!” The male slightly scolded as he picked up her plates from her hands and put them away before leading her off.

‘Embrassing!’

Later on, both the two white-nette’s were teaching people. Kai was entertaining the younger blood mages, almost kids with making flowers appear, just illusions. Or small fishes in the water.

“Your so talented, miss Kai!” A few of the kids said as the previous illusion faded away.

They only grinned slightly and leaned down.

“You think so’?” They rythrocically asked.

Objectively, their favorite kid, nodded. She had soft brown hair and green eyes that could go head to head with Autumn’s.

“Of course! Your like my mama’!!” She giggled and hugged the others leg.

The girls eyes couldn’t help but water a little at that. The kids mother had passed away some time ago and she always saw Kai as a replacement.

But everyone else saw her as a replacement too. Second best.

“I’m happy you like me that much.” She simply said, picking the girl up and smiling when she giggled.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she flinched, grabbing the kid closer.

“That your kid?” A teasing voiced inquired.

She looked at the person, it was Elizebeth. Her brown and red hair was in a short ponytail and she had a small smile on her face.

“No! Of course not! Does she look anything like me?” She defended.

The olive green eyes of child blinked before snuggling into her.

“No..what’s your name, kid?” She sighed before looking at the kid.

“Oliver..” She answered.

Elizebeth hummed and Kai gently set her down.

“You can go now, Olive.” The maroon eyed girl watched as she scampered off.

“Cute kid.” The other red eyed girl said.

Kai only hummed in response. They weren’t really in the mood for anything.

“Theriean’s in charge today??” They asked another question.

The same heighted girl’s eye twitched but she decided to be nice.

“Yes.” She bitterly answered.

The other seemed to pick up the fact that they weren’t wanted as they quickly left. Annoying.

She scowled and clentched her hands tighter. Relax, Ei. Don’t burn down the fucking building.

All the other kids seemed to be playing with one another, chasing each other back and forth. She zoned out. Lucky.

Their entire childhood was filled with unplesentires. Everyone hated them, everyone was scared of them. So what if they had unstable magic??

So. fucking. what.

The youngest could probably create so much chaos if they really wanted to. They had accidentally caught pieces of clothing, or furnature on fire before.

She yelped when a kid crashed into her leg, harshly. She stummbled but fell to the ground. When she peeked a eye open since they had closed on reflex, multiple gasps where heard.

“Miss Kai! I’m so sorry!” A young boy frowned, it looked like he was about to cry.

The long haired girl smiled a little with one eye closed. She stummbled to her feet before roughing up the kids hair.

“it’s okay..” She grinned.

The girl flinched when someone called her name.

“KAIIIIII!!~~” A loud yet sweet voice sounded.

She made a horrifed face before groaning when swept up into someones arms. She grunted when the basically spun her around.

“Hey..ack!-Mayfield!..” She hissed.

The blonde giggled and set her down. Multiple kids stared at the two of them, big eyes blinking.

“Aw, hey cuties!~” The taller girl cooed towards the children.

They all hid behind each other.

“Your scaring them..and me.” Kai scoffed.

The blue eyed girl blinked before clinging onto her arm.

“Sorry! Anyways, see you later kids!~” She apologized before shooing the group of youngers away.

The shorter made a face and sweat-dropped. She grunted harder when Maya pressed closer.

“Can you..get off?!” She hissed.

The blonde frowned but quickly got off when Theriean showed up. His hands were tucked into his pockets but he leaned back and raised an eyebrow.

“You heard her, no?” He asked.

The other girls attiutide quickly changed. Her body was more on edge and her eyes were narrowed.

“Yeah, and I got off, no?” She mocked.

They made a grimnace. Both of them had a annoyed smile and their eyebrows twitched.

“I’ll go teach now! Y..you two have fun!” They tried to leave.

Theriean quickly grabbed their wrist and gently tugged them back. They turned a little red.

“Stay.” Was all he said.

“Ok!” She yelped.

The other girls eye twitched multiple times. Honestly, who did this guy think he was?!

“What’s wrong Mayfield? They are their own person after all..” He mockingly taunted.

“Of course I know that.” She quickly said.

Kai worringly glanced between the two. It was like the air was filled with static. They sighed and quickly shoved their way inbetween them.

“Both of you relax. Maya, let’s go.” She breathed before looking towards her.

The air lightened, she blinked in surprise. Before a cocky grin came over her face and she quickly grabbed their hand and lead them off. Meanwhile, Theriean scowled.

“Stupid.” He scoffed.

The two girls basically threw themselves onto the couch. Kai had unlocked the room where Akari and higherups usually resided.

“Woah, I’ve never actually been in here.” She marveled.

The shorter girl scoffed and very carefully leaned towards her.

“Please, don’t you get in trouble all the time?” She questioned.

Maya simply scoffed back before leaning her head back on the couch.

“Yeah, but only for you!~” She adimitted before winking.

The white-nette simply rolled their eyes before shuffling positions. She looked around, photos, and well achivements that Akari had earned.

Also a bunch of documents with..

Wait. What..was that??

She furrowed her eyebrows and grabbed the folder. The taller female also peaked over but lost intrest, humming some song Kai didn’t know.

“What the fuck.” They blurted out, eyes frantically going over the documents.

The ocean eyed girl grunted and leaned aganist their shoulder.

“What’s up?” She simply asked.

“Academia.” They whispered harshly.

Maya blinked a few times before pressing closer.

“Like that fancy school up top?? What about it?” She contuined.

The red eyed girl groaned before making slight eye contact with them.

“It says she’s inrolled, Mayfield.” They grumbled.

“NO GODAMN WAY, LEMME’ SEE THAT!!” She yelled, snatching the documents.

Kai grunted when she quickly read over the thing.

“Holy shit..” She whispered, having the same reaction.

“What are you two doing.” A familar, semi-normal voice sounded.

The red eyed girl practically threw the documents behind them and smiled tensly.

“Akari! Hey! Uhm-We were just hanging out!” They laughed also nervously.

The other girl made a face at them and they kicked her from the ankle.

“Hey!-!” She hissed.

“Just play along, stupid.” They said, through sharp words and gritted teeth.

She scowled back at them before looking at the older Adachi. Her foot was tapping aganist the floor as her fingers tapped aganist her arm in a rythmatic motion.

“Yeah! Kai invited me in here..I can leave if you want-!” She started but was cut off.

“Yeah, bye!” The older Adachi quickly answered, making a motion with her wrist and a blue circlet incircled Maya’s wrist.

She yelped when her body was dragged off of the couch and out of the room. She was shoved out of the door, stummbling, before turning back around but the door slammed closed.

“Ugh.” She sighed.

The younger sister glanced at the door before back to her older sister.

“So..you know?” Akari inquired.

They dug their fingers into their sleeve and scowled.

“Yes.” She bitterly said.

The other pinched her nose and huffed. Both of them were annoyed now.

“So? Are you mad?” She contuined.

Kai quickly stood up and scowled deeper. Her eye twitched and it almost took her entire being for her not to snap.

“Of course I’m angry! We have this whole fucking devison fucking deicated to NOT agreeing with up top! And then I find out your going to school?!” She glared.

The slightly taller female looked away but didn’t say anything.

“Whatever. Maybe I should tell the others-!”

“Absoutetly not! Don’t even THINK IT.” The heterocromdia girl stopped them.

“Then fucking explain.” They spat, leaning towards her with a annoyed expression.

Akari huffed and lowered her shoulders. A small scowl of her own rested on her face.

“It’s not because I want to. It’s because I litterally got found out. Y’know, vison and everything.” She breathed.

“What, so they know your empowered?” They scoffed.

The blue themed girl only shrugged. This whole situation was annoying.

“So if your up top, doing fuck’s knows what, whose gonna’ rule down here?!” They leaned back.

Akari placed a hesatiant smile on her face and her shoulders rose again. Why was she looking at her like that?? Wait-

“Oh no, no, no!! I am NOT taking OVER YOUR POSITION, Akari!!” She recoiled.

The ladder only frowned and gently leaned closer, laughing a little.

“Why not? It’s better then Astro.” She simply said.

Kai only groaned and turned away, tapping her foot om the ground. There’s no way. Kai wasn’t made out for this sort of thing. Hell, maybe Suimuki was.

“Why one of us? Why not fucking Suimuki or someone else!?” She frantically asked.

She only placed a lazy grin on her face and tilted her head, raising an eyebrow.

“You really think Suimuki Lumine would be fit to watch over?” She asked.

In all honesty, maybe. Suimuki was complacated, probably had fifty mental illnesses. She also lashed out alot and was bitter.

But then again, Kai wasn’t perfect either. She sighed and turned back towards her sister.

“The people need you, Akari.” She breathed, grimnacing as their voice cracked.

The said girl only shook her head and smiled.

“No, they need a stable person to build off of. And I’ve decided that’s you. Simple as that.” She spoke.

The red eyed girl glanced away, biting her lip. Whatever Akari says was final, that was always the rule.

“Okay, fine! I’ll do it.” She adimitted.

Weak.

The older sibling smiled brightly and hugged her. It was nice. She smelt like cotton and light vanilla.

“Thanks so much! Also, please just tell the others I’m on a lengthy misson!!” She beamed.

The shorter only stared at her before stepping away from her warmth.

“How long are you exactly planning on leaving?” She asked.

Akari hummed and made a thinking posture. She was really pretty and thoughful, wasn’t she?

“Maybe a month or two? I’ll try and keep in touch. Don’t miss me too much.~” She smiled with her eyes closed.

‘A MONTH?!’ They screamed.

But they just placed a small, tense smile on their face.

“Right, good luck.” Was all they responded with before leaving the hangout area.

“I need a fucking drink.” They scoffed before walking off.

Kai groaned and rubbed a hand over their face as they sat down at the bar. It was a pretty famous, loud one down here. But they had extremely yummy spiked drinks.

“Ah! If it isn’t my favorite member of our order! Hey, Kai, how’s it hangin’?” A friendily voice called.

They perked up and looked at Reko who was behind the bar. They had a grin on their face with crinkled eyes.

“Hey Reko, your sisters still my favorite.” She mummbled.

The pink haired girl geniuley laughed before catching her breath. Way to go, Adachi.

“That’s funny! Anyways, the usual?” She snickered before asking.

“You know it, thanks.” Was what she simply replied with.

Most people probably would’ve made faces at her dialaect. She was much more free speaking, had a somewhat casual attuitude with most people. Espically people of her own divison and order.

Music blared throughout the place and people cheered. Some gambled, some were smoking.

Speaking of..

The white haired girl kept playing with the end of a pack of ciggarettes she had bought. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, or wasn’t allowed to. It was just that whenever she smoked, her mind fuzzed over.

It seemed like her brain got heavier, but maybe that’s what it was suposed to do. She also had a very light cough but it wasn’t due to her illness or anything.

“Here ya’ go, sweetie!’” Reko slid over her drink.

It was a simple strawberry diaqurri but with stronger and more liquor. She usually drank up to six of them, pretty concering. Maybe a bloody marry here and there.

“Thanks.” She said.

Reko only grinned and leaned forward on the counter. This made the former stop and raise an eyebrow.

“Anything for our next caretaker down here!” She sang.

The younger hadn’t even taken a sip of her drink before she choked. She hacked up a lung which made her laugh.

“W..what?! You already know?!” She frantically asked.

Reko only smiled with their eyes closed and chuckled.

“You should know, word gets around fast.” She shrugged.

Kai was about to say something else but the darkskin girl was whisked away. They sighed and took a sip of their fruity drink.

“Everyone’s gonna’ be flipping out when I come back..” They groaned and burried their face in their arms.

She hadn’t stayed there for long, maybe a hour or two. It was around sunset now, well, by her guess it was. No one could really be sure when the sun was pretty much cut off down here.

She carefully walked into the large building house and..

“Ah, look who it is.” A male voice spoke.

She flushed slightly and snapped her head up, Theriean. And he did not look pleased, he had a slight scowl on his face and his arms were crossed. Along with that, his fingers tapped rythmatically and his foot also tapped.

“Kai.” Was all he said.

“Theriean..” She replied quickly.

This didn’t seem to please him, instead his scowl deepened. She backed away when he grabbed her upper arm.

“So, your in charge of us now?” He questioned.

It actually wasn’t a question, he knew she was. How embrassing. It could’ve been anyone else but it was him.

“You should know. Espically if Akari told you all..did she leave already?” She took her arm back and scowled on her own.

He leaned back and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Yes. Just try and control me, Apprentince.” He laughed dully before leaning awfully close to her face.

“You won’t get far..” He whispered before laughing and walking away.

The girl scowled deep and dug her fingernails into her arm. Aganist all judgement, her face was warm.

“Ugh!” She hissed.

She quickly made her way to her divison lab area but when she entered the door, she was greeted by pretty much everyone else.

“Kai!! I’m so so so proud of you!-!” Maya’s rambles were cut off by Hiraeith shoving her.

“Who would’ve thought THAT of all things worked? Your face is red.” She sarcastically said, rolling her eyes.

The long haired girl whined before slumping forward.

“Anyways, take good care of us since we are basically in your care.” She mummbled before walking off.

Then..

“Ack!!-!” She was bombared by a taller figure.

They basically cracked her ribcage as they squeezed tighter. Before finally pulling away, yellow eyes sparkled.

“Jesus, Astro.” She grunted.

They only sniffled, making the other flinch and stiffen. Were they seriously crying?!

“Are you crying?!” She frantically asked.

She wasn’t even really thinking when she grabbed their face and felt warm skin. She did feel warmer then usual, but that was probably normal for people when they cried.

“I..I’m just so proud..and you aren’t crying..even though Akari’s gone..”

“WHATTTT?!?”

The maroon eyed girl let go of her face and recoiled. Cry?!! Kai didn’t CRY.

“What?? Did they say something?” Suimuki asked.

The blood mage was even more shocked, Suimuki was out of her room?! Her lab?!! Now that was surprisng.

Honestly, she probably would’ve been less surprised if God walked into the room right now.

“I don’t cry. Never.” She hissed.

The golden eyed girl blinked a couple times before raising an eyebrow.

“You cry when your embrassed.” She coughed out.

The same heighted girl froze. No way. Did she really?! Did her face get so red that tears actually formed in her eyes?!

“Ha! Yes.” Suimuki seemed to read their mind before snickering and walking off.

Astro groaned and held her head before closing ome of her eyes and looking at her.

“Pretty sure that was abuse of power..” She added on.

“SHUT UP NO IT WASN’T.”

Over a period of two weeks, pretty much everyone had adjusted to Kai taking over Akari’s postion. It really wasn’t that much of a difference, they had simaliar control styles.

Speaking of, Kai squinted at the bright scence and grabbed Maya’s hand as they finally pulled out of the sewer top. Now, they were up top.

People wearing fancy clothes conversed while walking through the streets. Some carriges and old cars roamed the busy streets, and more imporantly, kids in uniforms.

“Why are there so many different colors?! Which color was Akari’s, Kai?!” Astro whined before whipping towards their sister.

“Blue!~” The blonde next to her answered, grin in full force.

The middle child of the Adachi’s scowled and grumbled something under her breath.

“Why are you so intrested in that, anyway? We’re here for a misson, excluding Akari.” The red eyed sibling curiously asked.

Astro didn’t respond. The shorter glanced around before spotting something, a poster on a wall.

“Hold on..” She whispered.

Ace made a confused face before freaking out when she basically park-cored her way to the other alleyway. She walked closer to the poster and squinted.

It had her face on it, with a price underneath it.

“Great, a bounty on me.” She spat, rolling her eyes.

“Jesus christ!” A girl with white hair and green eyes scoffed.

“Could you BE anymore careless?” She contuined, after landing close to where the other was.

They only grunted and watched as the rest of the group showed up. Getting a rough head count, Maya, Astro, Noel, Autumn, and Aether.

“Just be lucky Aether and Astro aren’t having a godamn orgy right now.” The ginger haired one spat out, snickering sarcastically.

“Isn’t Kai a virgin.” Aether tried to ask like a question.

“Go fuck yourself.” They hissed.

The two said people only glanced at each other before rolling their eyes.

“Very funny.” Both of them said.

The youngest, yet leader of the group tiredly ran a hand over her face and eyes.

“In and out, guys.” They ordered before climbing up higher and spotting wear they would break into.

It was a quaint little place, having jewerly and other expensive things. There really wasn’t a reason for why this was a misson, they were just bored.

“Come on.” They carefully dropped down to sneak around into a cranny of the store.

It didn’t really matter, the workers seemed more occupied with their customers.

“Anything spefic we need?” Autumn questioned.

The white haired person shot her a look.

“Did you not hear what I said before? Take whatever you can.” She sarcastically asked.

The other girl’s eye twitched but the shorter didn’t notice. They took a pin out of their hair and undid the lock before swiftly sliding it back into place and carefully shuffling inside.

The rest of the group followed suit, some getting a better look around. The backroom was pretty abadoned, boxes closed and everything.

“Oh shit!” Noel quickly shifted over to where a music box was.

It looked..oddly familar..the tall girl undid the lock and a scence popped up. It had a blue round crystal in the middle with star outlines, fiting the navy blue background. A quiet, almost spacey tune played.

“Isn’t that one of Suimuki’s models?” The blue eyed and blonde haired male tilted his head.

“Probably is..” Kai mummbled.

They quickly got to work though, shuffling the hefty messenger bag they had on their waist onto the ground. The Lumine brother simply tossed it into the bag and yawned.

“Seriously?” Noel shot him a look.

“What?! I’m suporting my sibling! Plus, they basically stole this from her?!” He agressivly defended.

They simply raised their eyebrows and made a back away gesture. Meanwhile, the leader of the group cut open a box with a flourish. They tucked the knife to the side before digging through it.

Something cold touched their hands and they resisted the urge to recoil. They gently lifted it with their pale hands and gasped.

A, simaliar necklace to the one Kai had around her neck greeted her. Only it was brighter, and had more intericate designs on it. Her thumb carrsed the jewel and it refelected back into her eyes.

“Oo! Steal!~” Astro stuck their tongue out and snatched the necklace away from her.

She jolted and whipped towards her older, shocked. She dangled it and marveled at it.

“Nice find! It looks simaliar to the one Akari gave yo-!” She was cut off.

“Yeah I know! Put it in the bag, jesus..” She snapped before huffing.

After pouring a good amount of items into the bag, Autumn hoisted it onto her person. She shuffled it before making a thumbs up motion.

“Alright yes I-!” A unfamilar and unlucky voice filled everyone’s ears.

A girl with brown hair and light green eyes was carrying another hefty box of something. She seemed to be talking with someone on the phone. She stopped half-way when the girl layed eyes on the group.

“Jesusss christtt..!” Aether whined.

Everyone else had simaliar reactions, they could honestly just book it right now. The woman had her mouth open slightly before taking a deep breath. All the rogues glanced at one another, knowing exactly what she was about to scream.

“DOWNDWELLERS!!! ROGUES, GUARDS PLEASE HELP!! THEIVES!”

Kai immeditally darted out of the shop and into the streets. Most people had stopped and their eyes darted towards them, the rest of the group followed close behind.

“Fucking hell!!” Noel scoffed.

Everyone grimnaced when familar people in sheilds and uniforms showed up, immeditally reconqizing them.

“Stop, theives!!” They ordered.

“Hey!-!” Maya pulled the bright eyed leader down by her sleeve.

“Let me make the portal this time.” She whispered.

“W h a t.” They deadpanned.

The blonde scoffed and leaned aganist her.

“Pleaseeeee’?! I can do it this time! I promise!” She begged.

The white-nette still shot them a look before sighing.

“Fine! Whatever! Now c’mon!!” She breathed before taking off and catching up with the rest of the group.

“Ack!-!”

“Ah! Good to see you lovebirds decided to join us!” Autumn spat out with a sarcastic smile, glancing at the duo from the corner of her eye.

“Yeah! Honestly, could you have taken any longer?!” Noel sighed.

“Shut the fuck up! Maya-!” The youngest Adachi child scowled before turning towards the taller.

But she had already shuffled away and started making a ingarving with her pocket knife in the wall.

The rest of the group turned back and saw the crowd sepreating to let the guards through. The leader of the deliquents mummbled something and a circle of glowing red magic covered them.

“Releax..I’ve just made us invisble for now, so long as no one touches us.” She laughed nervously.

All of them were pretty crammed together, and shuffled messily and despreatly away from the crowd and towards Maya.

“God, I thought you didn’t trust her portals?! Why is she doing it?! Did she kiss your or something?!” Noel sarcastically asked.

Kai’s, whose hands were out in a spaled motion to hold the circle flatered. Her face turned red before she hastily fixed it.

“Fuck you! No..I..I just thought it would be nice if she practiced in real time some more..” She snapped before glancing around.

By now, the guards had passed through the area but they weren’t anywhere close to being safe. The younge bloodmage grimnaced as her one arm almost gave out under itself before sighing and breathing deeply.

The blonde and blue eyed girl grunted as she pulled back from the final ingraving with a flourish. She waited a second before a medium sized hole in the brick wall opened itself and tons of people stopped in their tracks.

“Done! Guys C’mon!-!” She smiled before turning towards were she thought she’d she figures but no.

The shield collapsed and Kai grunted before grabbing Maya’s left arm. She panted before glancing up into her eyes before dragging her into the portal.

The rest followed suit.

All of them grunted when Maya somehow tripped once they were out the other side, Kai falling ontop of her. The rest fell over the bodies on the floor and groaned.

“What the fuck.” Astro stummbled up and the rest finally got untangled.

“I think that went sucessful enough!~” The girl with pink highlighted tips smiled.

Everyone shot each other a look besides her but no one objected. Autumn glanced at the bag that was still secerly on her waist.

“And look at that, we’re down below! Are you proud?!” She added on before placing her hands near her face and turning towards Kai.

In all honesty, they were expecting them to be falling in the air or underwater, but no. They were happily pleased.

“Yes, good work Mayfield.” They shot her a grin before walking.

The entergentic expression on her face halted, wait.

WAIT.

“SERIOUSLY?!!” She eagerly ran up beside the shorter.

The rest of the group just watched on, slightly amused.

“Sure, why not?” They rytorically asked before finding more intrest in their hands.

Now, Maya, oh Maya was over the godamn moon. She had a massive smile on her face and hearts and stars practically strained her being.

“Your face is going to spilt in half.” Autumn quipped, a lazy smile flashing at her.

“SHUT UP!!”

Everyone had already gotten back to the main house obviously, and had put away the units they had stolen. Funnily enough, Suimuki’s reaction to seeing her own music box was;

“Ew, not that prototype, that person must have no taste god, I’ve made way better ones.” She scoffed.

Now, Kai and Theriean were helping out in the dinner. They were making differnet types of meals, standing side by side. She could adimit, her feelings for him were getting a little more easy to control.

“Hey, confidante, can you pass the flour?” He finally spoke.

Actually no, scratch that. It was just because he wasn’t talking. Her nerves immeditally reved up and she felt weak just hearing his voice.

“Y..yeah! Here!..” She stopped what she was doing and passed him the bag of flour.

“Appericate it.” He simply replied before mixing some in.

Now it was more akward then anything, what were they suposed to say?! Just confess on the fucking spot, yeah NO THANKS!!

“Y’know, I was a little nervous for you when I heard you were going to be controlling everything down here. A sudden change isn’t good for anybody.”

What exactly did that mean?? They had to prove themself?? No, stop over thinking it.

“I agree with the sudden change part, but is it really that different?” They inquired, glancing at him from the corner of their eye.

The darker eyed male glanced back and she stiffened.

“Yes, Akari doesn’t falter under pressure. You do.” He said.

Falter under pressure?? Did he mean how she got embrassed easily??

“Wha..?” She mummbled.

The male sighed and stopped what he was doing. He came closer, step wise. She immeditally tensed at this and stopped what she was doing aswell.

“I’m not even doing anything, Kai..” He breathed, a small smile on his face as he came closer.

Her tempature did pick up, maybe it was the illness! Yeah! It was probably that and it would explain the sweating and shakyness..

Still though, she took a few quick hasty steps back before grunting when her back met the cabnit wall.

‘Oh god.’ She thought. ‘Oh no no no nononono-NO!!-‘ Her mind was frantic.

He came insanely close to her, resting his hands one by her face and the other lower to her shoulder. If they weren’t panicking before, they were really panicking now.

“..Haha..? All..all this j..just to..to prove..a point..?” She manged to get out.

‘Fucking moron.’ She hissed to herself.

“No, to see what your reaction would be. I like them.” He clarrifed.

His head tilted and his eyes squinted. Kai simply swallowed thickly and tilted their head up when he leaned forward.

“You…I..?”

‘STOP TRYING TO TALK JESUS CHRIST.’

Theriean only snickered before placing a extremely hasty kiss on her jawline before moving away completly. Their entire body seized and their face flushed.

They couldn’t even move, oh my god. How god damn embrassing and touch-starved.

“Your things still not fully mixed, love.” He gently reminded.

Her body seized further but this time mechically into action. Her red eyes refused to look in her crushes direction, while her mind was racing like this at least.

‘That was a hint, right?! Like one of those signs that your crush likes you back?! Jesus christ-!’

“Hey you two.” A familar, somewhat tired voice came into hearing.

“Hey, Hiraeith. We’re about to put some of this out, wanna’ ring the bell??” The other female asked.

She simply grunted and nodded, walking off in that direction. Kai finished stiring her indirgents and swiftly slid them into the old oven.

A bell rang and echoed throughout the entire building, and just like that commotion started. People came into the room, chatting with one another and sat down.

“I’m surprised we have a order for food.” He snickered.

The girl only smiled at him, he really was amazing. He obviously showed up after Kai did..

“What? So you just want to join becauseeee’..?” Akari sarcastically asked, eyeing him up and down.

“Because I’m a blood mage, and can teach other forms of magic aswell..I don’t mean to be hostile, but you guys techincally aren’t suposed to have magic.” He answered.

The youngest of the Adachi siblings dug her fingernails into the corner of the wall she was peering out of. She couldn’t get a good look at him.

“I hate to break it to you, but we already have a blood mage.” Akari stated, unamused.

“Oh! Can I meet them??” He eagerly responded.

He also leaned forward, making the shorter uneasy.

“I..uhm..” She mummbled.

“ACK!-!!” Kai’s hands gave out and they tummbled into view.

The two people conversing turned towards them. When the shorter looked up, it seemed like Akari was trying not laugh.

“Hi, Kai, nice entrance.” She grinned.

They groaned and stummbled up to their feet. Meanwhile, Theriean stared at her curiously. She had the same white hair and red eyes as him.

“Is this…?” He glanced towards the closer girl.

The blue themed girl sighed and nodded. Meanwhile, Kai was staring at the male. He was so handsome. Her face was red..

“Yes, this is the other blood mage..Kai, meet Theriean, Theriean, meet Kai.” She answered before gesutring towards the two of them.

The male had a exicted smile on his face as he came closer and reached his hand out.

“Nice to meet one of my own kind! Like your friend said, I’m Theriean!” He said.

She only made a baffled expression and glanced at her older sister. The older laughed slightly before stepping twice.

“Haha! Her and me are sisters, Theriean.” She snickered.

He ‘oh’-ed and shook his head before nudging his hand closer. Her bright eyes darted down at it before clearing her throat.

“Right-uhm..Kai Adachi and uhm..it’s nice to meet you..?” She stummbled out before quickly shaking his hand.

She quickly pulled away when her hot skin made contact with freezing cold skin. The male seemed surprised as well before placing a easy grin on his face.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what type of blood mage are you??” He inquired.

They eyed him, he only tilted his head and smiled further. He was tall, and was wearing oddly fancy clothes. Probably a indicator he didn’t live down here.

Was he going to drag them up top once they answered?? Why exactly was he even here in the first place??

“Hyemopyromancey.” She flatly answered.

It should have been obvious..They ment, he was older after all. No way he didn’t get a guess or notice.

“Ah. Well, I’m intrested in also joining your order down here. Will you take me in? It would be good to have one of your own kind down here with you, yes?” He explained before leaning a little forward, hands behind his back.

Akari scowled and shoved her way infront of the younger blood mage.

“Hey, hey, hey!! Your talking to me about that, not her!”” She spat.

Theriean only smiled with his eyes closed and adjusted his posture.

“Right, my apologies.” He hummed.

Kai didn’t like the feel of this guy, but she could adimit, he was sort of..alluring. He had a sort of charm about him and he was good looking aswell-

‘STOP THINKING ABOUT HIS LOOKS DAMNIT!!’ She scolded herself in her head.

“I’ll only agree to let you join if you become Kai’s accomplice. Assistant, if you would. Other then that, get outta’ here.” Akari sighed.

The man only grinned and seemed estatic. Odd, no one would be that happy to join unless they didn’t have a frim grasp on whats going on down here.

“No- I’ll take you up on that! Kai, was it? I’ll be in your corner from now on!~” He grinned at them.

The female only tensed and turned red. Okay, he was attractive. Number one, he was probably extremely powerful. Number two, he had a very likeable personality, at least to them.

Number three: he was really hot.

“Kai??” Her older sibling broke her out of her trance.

The man tilted his head, eyeing her curiously. Now, wasn’t she just strange? She seemed to have alot of emotion, and seemed really nervous.

It was cute.

“Ah! So..sorry what??!” She frantically asked.

The heterocromidia eyed girl only raised an eyebrow, slightly confused.

“I was saying that he’ll help you teach, like with spells and things. He’s basically yours.” She explained.

The long haired white-nette tensed at that last sentence again. Hers?! What kind of saying was that?!

“Yes! I’m yours, so like I said before, please welcome me!~” He beamed.

They looked at both of them horrifed before hurringly clearing their throat.

“Okay!-yeah..sure!!..” They squeaked out.

Dinner yesterday had went smoothly and now it was night time again. It had also been a few days, and Akari was back breifly. She explained that she was visting for the festival, which was happening soon, AKA today.

“I don’t know about this, Star…” The younger of the duo expressed their dobut, looking down at the clothes in their arms.

The yellow eyed girl shot them a look before shaking her head and pushing her.

“I don’t think so! You haven’t even tried it on! Come on!” She wasn’t having it.

The clothes they were holding were a red and white kammino. It also had sandals and a red hairband. A little too formal for them but..whatever.

“Fine!” They snapped before doing inside the dressing room and changing into it.

She sighed and quickly glanced at her reflection in the small mirror. Before pausing, she actually looked kind of..

“Pretty! Oh my god, your so pretty!” Astro squealed when she showed herself to her.

The maroon eyed girl huffed. The other white haired girl paused before grabbing her clothes and grinning.

“Okay wait here, I wanna’ show you what mine looks like!” They said before rushing into the changing room.

Kai sat down and flinched when she noticed a couple people in shop. She looked away when she saw them look in her direction.

“God please no..” They whispered.

Meanwhile, Misery turned to Elizebeth, both of them had the same look on their face.

“Is that..?” Misery started.

Elizebeth carefully peered around their sister. Yep, it was them. The youngest Adachi was sitting down on a bench and looking all pretty.

Their white hair with faint red stripes was neater with the red headband holding it in place. And their kamino was red and white which had flower and lace designs on it.

“Stop staring!” Misery called their attention back.

Elizebeth scowled but didn’t say anything. Their younger sibling sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Look, I’ve been wanting to ask this for awhile, but do you seriously have a crush on Kai?” She questioned.

“I..yes..? I’m not sure yet..” The younger shrugged.

Misery made a face but didn’t say anything. Meanwhile, with Astro she came out of the changing room.

She was wearing a white and yellow kaminno with a pretty designed star hair clip on her bangs. She also had sandals and the design on the kimnanno was mainly abstract shapes and lace designs.

“Soooooo??’ What do ya’ think?!~” She eagerly asked. doing a spin.

“It’s nice, it suits you.” She simpyl answered, offering a sharp smile.

The older smiled wider and checked herself out. They seemee geniuley in love.

“Right?! Ah it’s so pretty..~” They fangirled.

The younger sat up and stood up smoothly. She looked around, accidentally making eye contact with Misery. She saw her grimnace and whip her head away.

“Let’s get out of here.” She urged her sister.

Astro simply made a surprised expression before making a face.

“Don’t you wanna’ change??” She asked.

The girl made a wince expression before looking around.

“Fine, let’s change then get out of here.” She sighed.

She went into the dressing room changing into her regular clothes. The regular clothes consited of a baggy red short sleeved shirt, a soft zip up coat that was un-zippered and hanging down on her lower arms.

She also donned a pair of black, low-waist jeans. Her stomach showed a tiny bit, showing off her belly button pirecing. She also had black doc-matterns on that aplified her height a inch or two.

She removed the headband and tied her hair in a low pony tail. They came out of the dressing room and Astro grinned.

“You know, I think your the best looking person in our family.”

The other person blinked in surprise. A complament like that, from Astro??

“Wait..seriously..?” They inquired.

“Yeah I mean, you have red highlights in your hair, natural red eyeliner, and a perfect face. Akari and me both have scars on our faces.” They shrugged with their eyes closed.

Kai made a face and turned a little red. They only opened their eyes and laughed before going into the changing room.

That was..surprisngly nice of them. Astro always had a sort of complament-tease motive, but that seemed geniune. They seemed to just be in a more relaxed mood.

Either that or they haven’t drank any caffiene lately. They sighed and sat down on the bench, messing with their red necklace.

“Okay! Let’s go!” Just as they had sat down, the golden eyed girl popped out.

They blinked in surprise, that quickly?! She did a quick up and down survey of her, nothing seemed out of place.

“What’s the matter??” The taller tilted her head in slight confusion.

She simply shook her head before grabbing her clothes and walking to pay. Astro startled and quickly followed after her.

A girl with brown hair and dark eyes was working the casiher. She glanced over at the two and immeditally changed her posture.

“Ah! Two of the Adachi siblings..” She greeted as they both sat down their clothes on the counter.

Kai only grunted before looking away. They only spared her a glance.

“So, you two are going to the festival today?” She broke the silence.

The yellow eyed female smiled and nodded eagerly.

“Uh huh! It’s going to be so fun-I already saw people hanging up decorations!” She rambled a little.

The lady at the cash register looked taken aback for a second before smiling. The maroon eyed girl just shifted her eyes in between the two of them.

“Yes I agree. Your total is $75.50, by the way.” She notifed.

The younger sibling only flashed a tense smile.

“We’re paying in gold.” She responded.

The ladder blinked a few times before looking away quickly. She quickly looked back though and grinned nervously.

“Right! My apologies, I should have assumed better of you two.” She spoke before pausing.

She seemed to be doing the conversion in her head. The white-nette closer to her already knew the conversion, so they would call her out on it if it was wrong.

“Sixteen gold pieces, please!” She said, finishing.

Kai was surprised that she actually got it right. Not many people payed with gold down here, so many people didn’t know how to the conversion from coin to gold.

She dug in her pocket and pulled out a brown, stitched bag with a coarse tie ontop. She undid it and counted out sixteen pieces before re-tying it and stuffing it back in her pocket.

“Thank you!~” The worker said before pulling out a bag and putting the clothes inside.

The two of them shared a look before Kai grabbed the bag and nodded.

“Bye.”

“Kai! Hurry up, We’re gonna’ be late!” Akari rushed her younger sibling.

The said girl only scowled slightly and stared back at her reflection. She was wearing the same kamino from earlier and now the festival was going on.

She looked down and saw her hands shaking violently. Her head also throbbed and she bit her lip and shakily folded her hands together.

“Here.” She slowly came out of her room.

Silence is what greeted her before..

“You look very pretty, Adachi.” Mars winked at her in reassurance.

The former flashed a tense and nervous smile at her. She survyed the room, almost everyone was wearing a kamino or formal wear. She looked to the person infront of her, Akari.

She was wearing a blue and white kamino and..ugh..she’s just too pretty..

Her kamino had a astrogoly and star design, fitting. The ‘collar’ of the kamino was also tighter then the rest. Her hair was in a neat bun with two longer pieces infront of her ears hanging down.

She also had a flower tucked into her hair, white.

“You look amazing.” Kai breathed out, softly chuckling afterwards.

The heterocromdic only smiled with her eyes closed and waved her off. Too pretty. Astro said they were prettier?! Fat chance.

“Says’ you! Mayfield, get over here.” She snickered before calling the blonde over.

The red eyed person shared a horrifed glance with her calm sibling. She only smiled and winked in response. What was with everyone and winking?!

“Yeah? Oh, love-!…” The blue eyed girl came into view before pausing and looking at the former.

The other girl pressed her lips into a firm line and looked away. Her body seized and held her breath before she finally broke the silence.

“You look..so pretty..” Maya said slowly.

‘HO-BOY.’ Her thoughts screamed at her.

“Thanks.” She blankly said.

Akari glanced in-between them. What exactly was the girl suposed say?!

Someone shoved Maya out of the way. Theriean then appeared. He did a quick up and down of them.

“Multiple people probably have already said this to you, you do look amazing, apprentince. I hope this isn’t offensive, but you look like you could fit right up top.” He smiled geniuley.

Her red face was extremely bright. Her eyes flicked shakily, she was happy. Unfourtanetly, a giddy smile forced its way onto her face.

“Ah..thank you so much..you look nice aswell..” They carefully planned out their words.

‘YOU LOOK NICE?! JUST SAY HANDSOME MORON.’ They sighed deeply in their head.

The male only grinned wider, he seemed happy aswell. He was about to say something else but was cut off by Mori.

“Alright are we gonna’ go or not??” She raised an eyebrow.

Everyone else shifted and started moving out the door. Meanwhile, Kai was in their own head. In their mind, they had a extremely giddy smile and were over the fucking moon.

“Kai?” His voice called.

They immeditally perked up and smiled nervously.

“Yeah.?” She inquired.

The male only smiled and tilted his head slightly. Now that the younger noticed it, he really didn’t have any other expressions. Sure, he rarely frowned or scowled, but sometimes he even glared with a smile on his face.

“You wanna’ explore the festival with me??” He offered.

She again, almost swooned over him. He was being extremely nice to them. He was so handsome and charming!~

Wait, stop pinning over him and answer his offer!!

“Yes!! Of course! Uhm-!” They answered way too eagerly.

The taller only smiled and grabbed her wrist. She quickly glanced down at it before quietly yelping when he started dragging her off.

The two wandered around a little bit, eventually ending up in a line for cotton candy.

“Blue cotton candy is defentily better then pink.”

“Agreed.” Oh my god, they actually had a basic conversation without her losing her mind.

The darker eyed male grinned once he was handed the cavity inducing stick. They only got one blue cotton candy, but it was huge. The female took a small piece of it and almost grimnaced ar how sour it was.

Yeah, she had lied earlier. She had found out that his favorite type of cotton candy was this flavor, that’s the only reason. Theriean hummed when he took a handful and cheerfully ate it.

A small smile formed on her lips as she watched him enjoy it. The pair quickly finished it off, him having almost all of it but forcing her to take the couple of parts that were left…

The interaction went like this:

“Ah, I’m done. Do you want the rest??”

“Ah-uhm..no thanks..”

“Oh come on! I’m not just gonna’ throw it out!”

“Mm..”

“Take it!”

“Wha-No! Just give it to a stranger or something!”

“No! Kai-Apprentince just-!”

“I’m telling you that I don’t-!”

“Kai.”

“…”

“Take it.”

“O-kay!!”

The plan didn’t fail completly, espically when he smiled with his eyes closed when she took another bite. And the second he looked away, they made a face.

Then, the duo came into the area of games. They glanced around at the prizes before spotting something.

“Is that..?” They trailed off, squinting at a stand.

A book, and not just any book.

One of KAI’s TOMBS.

“Holy shit.” They blurted out.

The taller man also narrowed his eyes at the stand. A familar girl with dark navy hair and skin was working there.

“Of course it’s Arashi.” She scoffed.

Theriean only rolled his eyes and grabbed their wrist. He walked towards the stand with them in tow and stopped near Arashi.

The red eyed girl behind the stand was grinning. Someone was throwing balls at something.

“Oh, sorry! Guess you lost-wanna’ try again?!” She mocked pity before grinning.

The shorter girls eye twitched and she shoved the person playing the game out of the way.

“Arashi.” She hissed.

The dark skinned girl blinked in surprise a few times before flashing a closed eyed smile with her hands clasped together.

“Kai, and your boyfriend! Good to see you!“ She cheered.

The shorter haired white-nette kinda tucked them behind him as he spoke. Them, peeking around him to get a good look at her.

“Why are you using their tomb as a gift?? You could’ve atleast asked, even though they probably would’ve said no..” He agressivly questioned.

The girl only had her hands behind her back and watched with half-lidded eyes and a grin. Making the youngers eye twitch again.

“Why? Because people seemed to be extremely intrested in it…strange. But!-If you want it back, take a shot at the game, ok?~” She shrugged before leaning forward.

The male looked like he was about to say something, but Kai stopped him. She digged through her pocket before raising a bag of coins.

The male next to her gaped before whipping fully towards her.

“There’s no way your actually about to take her up on this!!?” He frantically asked.

She simply shot him a look before shaking the bag.

“How many tries do you think..about $85.15..would get me.?” She asked.

Arashi actually looked horrifed for a second, eyes flicking around. Before quickly shaking her head and laughing.

“Ahahaha! I forgot how smart you are..but not smart enough to just take your stupid tomb from me! But fine!-Fork it over, girl.” She placed her usual wide grin on her face, teeth showing slightly.

Kai placed the heavy bag of coins in her hand before turning towards the game. It seemed like a throwing game, with a bunch of cans. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Arashi open the bag and take a couple of coins out.

The said girl seemed to notice this as she flashed another closed eyed smile.

“Just for the first try. You know what to do, right?” She placed the bag down as she shuffled to slump aganist a wall of crates that were on a side she was on.

Kai grabbed a few baseballs, making Theriean hold the rest of them. She narrowed her eyes and messed with the ball in her hand before..

“*CRASHHH*” All of the cans on the first stand just knocked over

She quickly picked up the next ball and repeated the process two more times. It wasn’t really that eventful.

“Yikes..” The navy haired girl sighed before wincing.

She handed them back their sack of coins, barely taken any. They took it back before pocketing it.

“Here, nerd.” Arashi took the red tomb and tossed it towards the shorter.

She caught it and quickly turned around and started walking. She heard the sound of balls dropping and someone following behind her.

“That was impressive, apprentince.” He complamented.

The girl didn’t say anything or even react, only a small twitch of the lip. This contuined for a little while before she found a bench. There was a ocean, or deep river, and a small dock.

She sighed and walked towards the edge of the wooden drop off. She sat down and hung her legs off of it.

She heard shuffling and someone, AKA Theriean sat down next to her.

“Am I allowed to talk now??” He teasingly asked.

She immeditally blinked in surprise, reality now just hiting her. She had just been so rude!! She was so focused on showing him this spot..

“Oh my god..I’m..I’m really sorry!” They apologized, turning towards him.

Both of them jolted at the sound of fireworks going off. How nice, how sweet. Colors of red, orange, and green lit up the non-existent sky.

The man only turned towards them more and grinned.

“It’s alright. I get it, lip service with praise doesn’t really do any good..” He looked away.

They didn’t seem to find that any hunours as they frowned deeper. He turned his eyes back towards them and only snickered at their upset face.

“Don’t pout at me now! Here-..” He snickered before leaning closer, hand near their side hip but on the dock.

She flushed, well, felt herself flush. The only reason he could see it was because fireworks were still going off.

They tensed when lips connected with theirs, when exactly had he gotten that close?! He seemed to be pulling away, so they panicked. They lifted one of their hands and tangled it in his white hair.

They refused to not kiss back, so they did. He grunted before seeming to smile. After a minute, she pulled away, panting.

He also leaned back and looked at her, a affectionate smile on his face. She had a embrassed, grimnace on her face. Pink and red fireworks went off, showing their current moods.

“Im in love with you, Kai.”

“..I love you..so..so so..much..”

“I’m glad…”

“Ha..!”

“Come here.”

————————

END

#author #fanfic #oc #wattpad #writers on tumblr #orginal post #orginal work #writing #anime and manga #fashion #romance #cheesy #cute

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