#i simply cannot control myself

[fleetsonourgecentral]

A request: Ebony celebrates Fleetway Super birthday along with the freedom Fighthers celebrathing Sonic's birthday (so Super and Sonic share a birthday celebration :D) but Scourge IS jealous because he doesn't get any gifts

Adfjdasfjds Scourge being jealous for petty reasons my beloved

~~~

"This doesn't seem fair," Scourge grumbled, folding his arms and glaring at his surroundings like he could set the decorations alight with his eyes alone. Unfortunately, getting zapped by the Master Emerald didn't seem to grant him those powers, but hey, it was always worth double checking.

"Life isn't fair," Sonic said, smug smirk fully plastered on his face as he lounged on his throne for the day. The throne in question was nothing more than an old armchair fished out of the dump, and was covered in rips and clearly falling apart, but it was clean (thanks to Tekno's efforts) and it was the nicest chair the Freedom Fighters owned, so they made do.

Scourge was surprised they were putting in the effort at all. Sonic's ego was so big it was a wonder his head didn't swell and become too heavy for his body to carry; there was really no need to stroke his ego by giving him a throne.

For some reason, though, the Freedom Fighters, despite usually being extremely enthusiastic about keeping Sonic's ego in check, had decided today was an exception. It was his birthday, after all.

"How did you even get all this?" Scourge said. Thankfully, none of the cheesy "happy birthday" banners had been strung up on the wall - those were dumped on Ebony's doorstep - but in their place were custom-made banners proudly congratulating the Hero of Mobius on another year of victory over Robotnik. Over the top and unnecessary, considering the victory in question was mostly just his continued survival, and thus his continued ability to be a future pain in the ass.

Not that Robotnik didn't have it coming, but still.

"We made them!" Tails chirped from where he was stringing up another banner, this one declaring today as Sonic Day. "Tekno designed most of the banner so it would look cool enough that Sonic won't complain, and then Amy and I helped decide what they should say, and then we all painted them together!"

"And you didn't invite me?"

"We both know you would've told us all to fuck off if we asked you to help," Amy said, although the teasing smile on her face showed her comment was light-hearted instead of irritated. Gross.

"These aren't new, anyway," Tekno said. "We made these before you arrived, so you couldn't have helped. Unless you found a way to time travel. If you find an easy way to time travel, let me know?"

"Sure, whatever."

And now that Scourge was looking, the banners did seem a little worn. Small rips on the edges, colors dulled, the paper crinkled; obviously reused over the years. He nudged one of the banners crumpled on the floor with his foot, then picked it up to inspect it, holding it with his thumb and forefinger. Sonic's painted winking face greeted him, and Scourge sneered at it. On the back of the banner, he could see a cluster of signatures. Some he recognised - Tails and Amy - while some he'd never heard of - who in the world was Shortfuse? - and some... well, some were just initials, none of which he recognised. He certainly didn't remember any friends of Sonic's who went by J.L.

"Are you going to stand there, or are you going to help?" Amy said, lightly elbowing him as she passed, snatching the banner from his hands.

"What's it look like? I'm gonna stand here."

"No you're not. Help Tekno bring the gifts in."

"I'm not participating in this. You do shit like this then wonder why he's an arrogant dickhead."

"Is it arrogance if it's justified?" Sonic said.

"Justify my foot up your ass," Scourge said, just as Tekno dragged him away.

The pile of presents was bigger than it had any right to be. The Freedom Fighters didn't have much money - apparently fighting for the safety of the entire fucking planet doesn't pay well, or at all, which is bullshit and all the more reason for Scourge to find the whole thing stupid - so none of them could really afford to go all-out with the presents, but the bulk of the pile came from local civilians who had caught wind of the celebration and wanted to express their gratitude. Over the past week during their travels, civilians would stop them, shyly handing over presents and telling them they were for Sonic's birthday, a token of their appreciation for constantly saving their asses, because they couldn't be bothered to do it themselves.

No one said that last bit out loud, but Scourge always made sure to mentally add it.

Why they couldn't express their gratitude with some fucking cash, he did not know.

"Grab the presents by the table?" Tekno said, scooping presents into her arms. For what it was worth, although the pile was bigger than one would expect, at least most of the presents were small.

Groaning with all the contempt he could muster, Scourge shuffled over to the table and started tucking presents under his arms.

"Did you drop off everything at Ebony's?" Tekno said. Her voice was low, hidden by the rustle of the presents, only loud enough for Scourge to hear. Not that he thought Sonic could hear them when they were out here, but better safe than sorry.

"Whaddya take me for? Of course I did," Scourge said, voice equally low, although that was more for Tekno's peace of mind than his own. She'd shush him if she thought he was being too loud, but she was also really bad at shushing people quietly, and ended up attracting attention with her shushes more often than not. It was really counterproductive. Scourge didn't know why Sonic had let it slide for this long.

"Just making sure."

Scourge grunted, but he did give the rest of the presents an obligatory once-over, just to be sure there weren't any that shouldn't be there.

Super's birthday fell on the same day as Sonic's. It was why all the cheesy banners had been dumped on Ebony instead of in the trash where they belonged. The Freedom Fighters - okay, mostly Tekno - thought it was a good idea to send a few presents over from all of them, as a gesture of goodwill and minor bribery to please not turn evil and try to kill them all again. It was a plan Sonic had been conveniently left out of; even with their less strained relationship (although that really wasn't saying much) it was blatantly obvious he still wasn't fond of Super. He wouldn't stop them from giving him birthday presents, or wanting to wish him a happy birthday, but he would wrinkle his nose and mutter a comment under his breath, which was apparently a problem, although Scourge hadn't figured out why.

Ebony had asked if they wanted to stop by, even tentatively offered a joint birthday celebration if that would make things easier, but she was swiftly turned down. Presents were a safe bet, the Freedom Fighters had agreed, because they could be dropped off at any time, and Sonic would never have to know, and they could wish Super a happy birthday without ever leaving Sonic's side on the actual day. And they could send Scourge to be their little delivery boy so none of them would have to do it; despite the olive branch, Tails and Amy were still wary of Super. Apparently Scourge and (somehow) Tekno were the only ones who weren't little bitches about him.

Well, Sonic wasn't a little bitch exactly, but he wasn't as cool and casual about Super as he wanted to be. So he didn't count.

"I'm just saying," Scourge said, hefting as many presents into his arms as he could, "if you're going to make the decorations look like a 'congrats on kicking ass without dying' celebration, we should all be getting presents."

"It's not your birthday, though."

"I'm his boyfriend, though. Shouldn't I get, like, a solidarity present?"

"No, because it isn't your birthday."

Scourge bit back a comment about how if Super got to have a birthday just because he was another Sonic, then logically, so should he. Because, well, it wasn't his birthday, even though all the celebration really made it feel like it should be. He thought birthdays for Sonics were the same across all dimensions - he was pretty sure he shared a birthday with Prime, eugh - but apparently not.

With another exaggerated groan, he shuffled back into the living room with the presents towering high above him, because second trips were for chumps, and dumped them at Sonic's feet. His own gift wasn't in there, but only because he'd already given it to Sonic this morning. The moment he woke up, in fact. Scourge wasn't about to be beaten by anyone in anything, including being the first person to give Sonic a gift.

Not that it was anything special. Scourge wasn't exactly rolling in money either, and Sonic was a pain in the ass to shop for. Humiliation had nipped at his heels when he handed the gift over, ready to burn him, but Sonic seemed to really like it - underneath the obligatory layer of snark - so it was fine.

Probably.

He eyed the pile of presents again, and tried not to gnaw on his lip.

Some of the civilians who gave them presents looked... well, not well-off, but comfortable. Not rich, not even close to rich, but able to at least afford something nice for the Hero of Mobius. More than Scourge could afford.

More than any of the Freedom Fighters could afford, though, and Sonic didn't really give a shit about his fans outside of the inherent bragging rights that come with having fans in the first place. None of those civilians knew what Sonic liked. The Freedom Fighters did. Scourge did.

He doubted any civilian signatures were on the back of the banner he picked up.

A party thrown by civilians probably wouldn't look like this at all. That would be far more elaborate, with more people pitching in to help, even more vomit-worthy banners and decorations hung from every wall and banister, singing the praises of Sonic the Hedgehog. Over the top, and licking his ass, and making a huge deal out of him. Exactly the kind of celebration Sonic would like; he always loved it when people lavished him with praise for his efforts in saving the world, the arrogant bastard.

Sonic didn't have any of that, this year. Oh, sure, the party would stroke his ego, but it wasn't lavish. Compared to what he could have, it was almost humble.

But. He didn't look upset by it. Didn't even feign annoyance that it wasn't as big as it could be.

Scourge couldn't remember any of his own birthdays looking like this growing up. No friends surrounding him, bickering as they hung birthday banners or fetched presents or argued over the cake. No shitty birthday chair fished out of the dump. No lavish party to sing his praises. His birthdays weren't humble like this one, but they weren't extravagant, either.

They were... cold. Empty. There was no soul in the presents, no warmth in the candle of the cake. No signatures on the back of a hand-made birthday banner.

Scourge swallowed down the ugly feeling in his stomach.

Whatever. He didn't need any of that shit. He was Scourge the fucking Hedgehog, he knew exactly how great he was. Who needed a giant party? Not him. He wasn't that fragile.

"Scowl any harder and your face will get stuck."

Scourge flipped Sonic off without even looking. "Eat shit, birthday boy."

"Are you sulking because Pixel Brain jumped on you this morning when he came to wish me a happy birthday?"

"He crushed my fucking ribs," Scourge complained, glad for something to focus on. The interruption had been rude, and Tails was fortunate they were already awake; had he done that shit while Scourge was still asleep, he would've gotten an ass full of quills.

"Right. And you're definitely not sulking because you wanted to cuddle."

"I don't cuddle."

"Bullshit you don't."

"I don't. You have no proof."

"Then you're gonna start."

Before Scourge could say a word of protest, Sonic grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him onto his lap.

"Fuck off and let me go," Scourge snapped, shifting to get comfortable.

"It's my birthday," Sonic said, smirking his stupid, smug, victorious grin. "That means you have to do what I say."

"I'm not doing shit, you can't tell me what to do, birthday or not," Scourge said, leaning further into Sonic when he wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him closer.

"You'll get the chair when it's your birthday, if it's any consolation."

"Fuck the chair! What about my presents?"

"We'll see."

"Asshole," Scourge grumbled, biting Sonic lightly on the shoulder to emphasize his point, but he only got an amused chuckle in return.

"You're getting off when the cake gets here," Sonic said.

Huffing, Scourge snuggled further into Sonic. They'd see about that.

#sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #fleetway sonic #stc sonic #fleet!sonourge #asks #fanfic #tekno the canary #HIIIIIIIIII I AM. SO FUCKING SORRY. I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO TAKE THIS LONG #'i love writing' i say as i proceed to not write for months #chronically lazy..... but at least it isn't a 'well over a year' wait like some of my other fics....... #me: haha scourge being jealous for petty reasons! #scourge: thinks about how his birthdays have never had the love and care put into them as sonic's #me: oh for fucks sake #author write a fic that doesn't end up dabbling in the internal angst of these boys challenge: failed #i simply cannot control myself #sorry this didn't really have super and ebony in it #couldn't think of a way to include them that didn't involve a joint celebration/party. and i. can't imagine sonic would be happy about THAT #hope you enjoyed anyway!!! #and again i am soooooooo sorry this took so long

[svnoohe4rts]

omfg i’ve started writing two new fics .. one jayhoon love triangle & one nerd!hee LIKE I DONT HAVE A WHOLE THREE PART FIC TO FINISH ?????

#sage ; rants ! #i simply cannot control myself #especially not when my pinterest feed is literally heeseung in glasses ONLY

[this-is-ali]

I do not apologize for the person I become when the "Jump" portion of "The Dance At The Gym" starts playing.

#i simply cannot control myself #west side story #west side story 2021 #wss #wss 2021 #the dance at the gym #the dance at the gym jump #dance at the gym #leonard bernstein #musical #musicals #theatre #musical theatre #movie #movie musical #music #lol #gustavo dudamel

[inklore]

i may have done an obsessive thing 🥴

#i can’t help it ok i see an evil man and i simply cannot control myself #stranger things #001 #peter ballard #henry creel #peter ballard x reader #001 x reader #henry creel x reader #stranger things spoilers #here laur goes again..

[shanti-ashant-hai]

why can i not. do things. anymore.

what is wrong

#i want to draw #and play instruments #and learn new things #but i just. dont have the energy anymore????? #which is weird because im my jee era i forced myself to do things i didnt have the energy for and it went good #now i simply. cannot. do things. #ive been trying to draw for ages but i cant buy a fucking canvas #heck waking up in the morning is becoming tedious now #my life is supposed to be in my control why am i spiralling #shanti ki ashanti suno

[weedsinavacantlot]

Really really really hoping this is a safe space

Rewatching glee as a bit with my friend and I love old butches so much what the fuck hahahahaha

#we hit season two and sue sylvester and coach beiste got up in each others faces and i was like. this is doing something for me #when i see an old butch woman simply i cannot control myself and i will not apologize #i will apologize for watching glee tho. sorry. #m

[gg-collective]

I don't particularly mean this in a "comparing my experiences to headmates'" way, but I have noticed how odd I feel next to our other introjects. The grand majority, if not all, of them are from hyperfixations/special interests-- things which we collectively have a lot of knowledge on. While I am from a series that we read the first book of, skimmed the second, and don't have any access to the third. I don't even particularly consider myself a fictive, despite that being, in all technicality, what I am. To top it off, I am not sure that my source would even be considered "popular" media-- at least, not with systems, as far as I have noticed. It is all a bit confusing, especially as someone who misses people I hardly remember. To feel connected to a life (or, lives), source trauma, and people I only have vague memories of is so... odd-feeling

#Vincent.txt #Rant #<- I suppose. I do not intend to sound like I'm complaining. If anything I am sorting my thoughts #I know this is not an unheard of situation by the way #It is just something that is on my mind often. I am not sure how 'good' it is to think so often on source but I cannot control most of it #I honestly think the most alarming and confusing was feeling distressed because of the concept of my source trauma. I hardly remember it #And yet it still bothers me like that. It's interesting I suppose #... I honestly also miss my source boyfriend #Ah now I'm trying to prevent myself from truly getting into a rant or vent. I simply miss him #I feel as though I would do a lot to live a simple life with him. We did not get that in some of my memories #However I suppose I am 'lucky' to have memories from fanfiction we have read. I am happy to remember living a more 'normal' life with him #I only wish to live it again. But there is nothing that will be solved by sitting here missing it so I will move on #I have debated not posting this. It is very personal. However we hardly have any following here so I will not think much of it

[kuriboo]

Extremely long sigh

Between work and having covid in the house and having to live in this house, I am so stressed. Everything is stressful. Everything is so stesssful. I simply want to stop living like this, but there is no alternative

#i cannot control the actions of other people #so. people can say what they want about me i suppose. i am doing the best i can. it’s all i can do #if you want to throw me under the bus it is fine #it is not some moral failing on my part that my best isn’t good enough. it just is. that doesn’t mean i’m a bad person. i just am #and if things are destined to fall apart then so be it. it will hurt. but i have survived it before #just more proof that. my best isn’t good enough for anyone. perhaps i will never be good enough #it does hurt but it’s fine. i am used to it. i suppose trying gets you nowhere if you are not successful #that’s not an excuse to not try because i am trying so damn hard. just an observation #i will keep it up and fight the good fight for as long as it takes and as long as i’m allowed to #‘do you always have to be so dramatic’ is it really all that dramatic when i am just stating what i can see and what my intentions are #it is such a long story. to tell it is to expose myself as the failure i am. outing myself and being vulnerable #and being vulnerable is simply out of the cards. i cannot afford to be vulnerable. i will not tolerate my own weakness #in any case i am fine. there is nothing to worry about. i do not intend to give up #tater.txt

[afieldinengland]

.

#calming myself down. i think i’m making sense of it— speaking to pan #‘indulgence’ is a word that means many things to many people. i do not think i personally am intended to ‘indulge’ in bread #not that i cannot— simply that that is not my ‘indulgence’ of choice. #my indulgence is in my worship— my art my thought. my love #it’s all worship. but pan brings me to his lap with a small stomach #there was recognition in the becoming that brought me out of winter and into pan’s sight. i’m meant to eat birdlike— harelike. #when i’m in control of what i buy and eat that’s what i do. i eat very little but i eat fruit and drink water and milk— and bread too. #in moderation. so i will fast— i will still fast. what i won’t do is attempt to inflict last winter’s rules on this winter’s behaviour. #it’s not a violent sacrifice for an impassive god. it’s simply running lean as a hare should. #perhaps this all sounds like the ramblings of a madman. or like nothing at all. what it has done is calmed me down significantly #i’ll fast. the same the same the same. but it isn’t an act of guilt nor is it cruelty #it’s what i’d do anyway. really it is. and i’ll be responsible about it #you can rejoice in the bacchanal without overgorging on food. moderation. the hare-prince is looking at the sun again #maybe it’s all an overdramatic way to say i’ll lose weight carefully. again. my ‘careful’ is not someone else’s ‘careful’. but i will. #i’ll eat like a wren. a sparrow. a hare. a lamb

[absolutelynoterica]

The fish rots from the head

#this year sucks already and it is only february #the knowledge that there will definitely be points lower than even this #i will file this as #ocd #several bizarre situations all at one and 0 sense of control #i look at the concentration of anxiety since probably september #add some ramp factors #then bully myself for not having the same amount of ambition or drive as a few years ago #will i have a job in july? #do i have as strong of a social net as i think i do? as i tell myself? #will strange drama always persist with my microscopic family #i always dissapoint myself by acting out in similar ways #not sleeping or eating but feeling so anxious all i can hope to do is exert as much energy as possible is not sustainable #it is wearing heavily #i had GOALS i had ACTED ON THEM #but it feels like for what #and now to start all over #not even to mention all of the unspeakables! the rampantly dark and prevalent #how stupid and unbecoming #i simply do not know what to do and even i cannot untangle every resource #i am my own truman show #i feel like poison

[cheapshrimpysheep]

You Will Stop the Wedding! - Vil Schoenheit

SUMMARY: YOU were the one being kidnapped by Princess Eliza to marry her. How would he react and how would he save you? With the aggravation of he already having a crush on you.

CHARACTERS: Vil Schoenheit x Reader

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Declaration

WORD COUNT: 1.155 words

Riddle Rosehearts / Leona Kingscholar / Azul Ashengrotto / Jamil Viper / Vil Schoenheit / Idia Shroud / Malleus Draconia

Rescuing You - Deuce Spade; Jack Howl; Floyd Leech; Kalim Al-Asim

COMMENTS: What have I done? Why did I commit to writing this? And why did I write so much? Why was I so inspired? There were seven of them! Why do I do this to myself? So yeah, this took me a long time. But I hope it was worth it, for me and for you.

CONTEXT: Someone was kidnapped to marry some ghost princess and might end up turning into a ghost too. And he just found out that someone was you.

Vil wondered who in the entire school would be chosen as the princess's partner instead of someone like him. With someone like him at school, who the heck did they kidnap if they were looking for the perfect person for the princess?

And then he hears your name, and his eyes widen. On the one hand, he now understands. After all, if he himself fell in love with you, who wouldn't? But on the other hand, his pride was still a little hurt. But more importantly, he needed to save you!

When rescue groups are formed, he asks to be in the last one. He knows he will be the best choice for this operation because he is an actor, but to create the perfect “romantic interest”, after all, your life was at risk, he first needed to understand what the princess's “character” was like.

When it's the last group's turn, whenever someone needs to stay behind to tie up the ghosts, Vil tells one of the others to do it. He always displays such confidence and leadership that the others simply followed his orders and stayed behind. One of the boys in the group was Rook, so it was clear that he would follow Vil's orders. Vil ends up being the only one to arrive at the ceremony hall.

Following the plan and after studying the princess's "character", Vil gets into character even before opening the door. He opens the door with a bang and orders them to stop the wedding. And in the first few sentences you already got an uncanny shiver.

“STOP THE WEDDING! Princess! I cannot bear this! My heart cannot bear to see you marrying someone else. Please, my wonderful princess, I beg you to at least give me a chance to prove myself to be a good partner to you!” And he was even being so dramatic talking.

But you couldn't deny that he was an excellent actor. Anyone who doesn't know him, the princess for example, would never realize he was acting. But you knew him, and so you had to try hard not to laugh at how strange that was. He was acting so well it looked like he was possessed. And worse, he was playing... ROOK?

You were controlling yourself not to laugh, but some of the students petrified by the princess's slap weren't. And they burst into laughter, especially Leona and Floyd. “Pay these poor rejects no attention, my sweet princess.” Vil continued “They are merely jealous of whoever is worthy of standing next to you at the altar.” He was even imitating some of Rook's gestures, which only made the others laugh even more.

Vil did everything the princess asked of him. He sang with her, answered her questions with the answers he thought she wanted to hear and which from her reaction seemed right. But it seemed like she was never satisfied. Why did it never end? What was going wrong? And it was then that she said that Vil would definitely be a wonderful prince, but she had already chosen you.

“WHAT?! You can not be serious.” Now, the Vil you knew was back, and he was pissed. “I do all this, I answer all these nonsense questions, I try to act in a way that pleases you and it's all for nothing?!” Even the princess was scared by his change in behaviour. And the guards placed themselves in defensive positions. The princess asks what happened to him, what was going on?

“I tell you what is going on. I'm here doing my best to convince a delusional princess to accept me as her husband so I can save the real person I care about and yet I'm rejected after having so much patience with a spoiled girl.” The princess is horrified to know that it was all just an act, she had really believed it, she even starts to cry. And of course, the guards threaten Vil. “Cry all you want, it doesn't bother me, I came here to save (Y/N) and that's what I'm going to do. One way or another.”

And then, a fight between the ghosts and Vil begins. Which he could have almost won if it weren't for that guard who turned into a giant ghost. He suggested that the princess give Vil the slap to petrify him, but she did nothing for a moment. Afterwards, she said that what Vil did was the most evil thing anyone had ever done to her. Playing with someone's feelings like that.

“I know it's one of the ugliest things I've ever done. But I wasn't just playing. I was trying to save the person you kidnapped.” She asks if he can act so well, how would you know if what he says he feels for you is real? He looks at you, confidently, with a loving look and his soft smile. “They know.” He may be an excellent actor, but you know he’s not a liar.

And, out of nowhere, the princess started to feel sorry for herself and jealous of you. She also wanted someone to do all that for her. Pretending to be someone else just to save you, even if it meant being away from you forever. (In the Vils head he was like: Actually I was going to put a ring on your finger to send you alone to the afterlife, but of course, think whatever you want.) And this was the opportunity that the guard who was in love with her found to declare himself. He said he wasn't that good of an actor, but that if he had to, he would do his best. And that whole ending of the princess realizing that she loved him too happens, they get married and happily ever after.

After everything and while the first-years were getting ready to tidy up and clean the cafeteria, you asked Vil to wait a bit. You leave the room so you can talk alone. He looks at you from top to bottom and started fixing your clothes and hair.

“One thing I must admit, those ghosts had some fashion sense.” When he finishes he takes a step back and looks at you. He smiles. “You sure are beautiful.” You throw yourself at him to hug him. “*Sigh* I just fixed your clothes.” but he still hugged you back. “I should teach you some self-defence techniques. It seems like you are becoming too with my help.” Just in case, you ask him if he is really flirting with you at that moment. “Firstly, you don't seem too bothered by it so I assume I'm allowed to do it. And secondly, I'm not Rook. Do you really think I would praise anyone else like this, sweet potato?”

Vil highly values his face. For this reason, you are probably the only person he would let kiss him, both on the cheeks and lips.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

#Twisted Wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst wonderland #twst fluff #Twisted Wonderland Fluff #Ghost Marriage #The Phantom Bride: Love at First Fright #Vil Schoenheit #Vil Schoenheit x Reader #Vil x Reader

[lolaandthens0me]

It’s my one-year 24/7 anniversary!!!

🎉 whoop, whoop 🎉

Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned along my 365-day journey of becoming a full-fledged 24/7 diaper slut:

+ daytime vs. nighttime diapers - having a wide selection of different absorbency levels and types of diapers is helpful in maintaining comfort throughout the day.

+ have fun - keeping my interest piqued by buying whatever new diaper is out there and keeping my shelves stocked with old standbys and new, exciting dips alike has made me excited to reach for a change day-by-day.

+ ups and downs - some days I simply don’t feel like wearing. I’ve learned to give myself grace and compassion. Not wanting to wear some days is normal and totally OK. I know the tide will turn. By pushing through, I find a sense of pride, achievement, loyalty, and completion and it continued to be worth it month after month.

+ loss of control - no, I’m sorry to disappoint, not that loss of control. In going 24/7, I have not in any way become incontinent. What I have become is more fully engrained in a submissive lifestyle and that has become a richly rewarding, deeply meaningful part of my everyday. It delights me just as much today, if not moreso than it did a year ago, to give up control of my most fundamental choices.

+ convenience - if you are looking for a more convenient way of living, going 24/7 may not be the answer for you. At least until you get very, very used to it. I find that wearing 24/7 is more of an inconvenience most days. I have to plan my day, my outings, what to pack, what to wear all around my diapers. I admit though, it is nice to never have to leave the theater in the middle of a movie!

+ baby powder is my friend

+ NorthShore Supreme wipes are 100% worth it

+ I still delight in the feeling of peeing my pants every time

+ Daddy is simply the best - as much of a commitment of going 24/7 has been for me, I fully acknowledge and appreciate how much of a commitment it is for the other half of this 24/7 D/s dynamic. I cannot thank him enough for staying in this with me for a whole year. I love you, RY 💙

+ I don’t know what the next 365 days will bring, but I do know that I feel proud and happy looking back at the last 365.

[morggo]

It comes with a heavy heart to announce this. Starting April I'm no longer operating as a business and therefore will no longer accept any art related work and I need to cease my patron, ko-fi, and shop. I need to focus on me and my family's survival during this time.

The debt I've accrued since starting this business is becoming out of control and there is little incoming earnings from my art that justify maintaining it as a business. I pay nearly $700/mo on debts, my part time job pays roughly $1200/mo, and my art job pays anywhere from $300-800/mo, the higher end being a really good month. ECCC was a good time but I'm now left with just enough to get me through early April. My rent is $1700/mo. I haven't accounted for things like food. My partner is basically bed ridden and we may look into disability benefits for her soon. The math does not make sense and I have fallen behind on payments, because I am focusing purely on survival since the start of 2023. Since roughly September of 2023 I have been the only person with an income, and it has been very, very hard. I simply cannot operate like this anymore and making art feels absurd when everything around me that I've worked hard to maintain simply no longer works. There were promises of better opportunities that simply did not work out. The reality of it is, I have failed and my efforts have become too burdensome.

I will be completing any open work. I will try to fulfill any remaining rewards for Patreon and Ko-Fi. I will be mailing out remaining Kickstarter rewards when I have the income to do so. Everything in my shop must go. Considering the dire need to pay off debts I won't be hosting discounts. Recurring payments in Patreon and Ko-fi are halted as of today, March 20th. I am planning to have everything said and done by the middle of May.

I'm working on getting another job to control payments.

I'm going to still be making art, on my own time, as well as contributing to a personal project by some friends and myself. Maybe I can talk about that soon.

Thank you for your support over the years. Anywhere from liking, sharing, buying prints and my art. Thank you, and I'm sorry.

My shop is here: https://ko-fi.com/mxmorgan/shop

#text

[wyvernwinds]

figured out that i have opposite seasonal depression than most people bc i get mine in the summer ie i’ve been in the worst headspace for like a month now and it’s been about 100°F every day in the that time and now i know for a fact that a cool rainy day would immediately fix me .. how do i know? because it was dark and rainy on my animal crossing island last night and i almost cried

#literally almost brought me to tears #i felt a yearning so strong i lost control of myself #i simply cannot tolerate texas 100° summers anymore i cant do it

[hotpinkstars]

-> the house won't ever feel the same again

synopsis -> you and alhaitham got into a relationship-damaging fight.

w/c -> 1.3k

warnings -> hurt no comfort, alhaitham is an asshole in this, dehya is your emotional support lol, reader moves to liyue, arguing and insults, reader is an artist

“alhaitham, please stop stressing. you cannot write twenty papers in the span of three hours. come to bed with me, dear.” 

you knew that this would happen. dating the acting grand sage of sumeru would be no easy feat. and now here he was, slumped over his desk, gripping an abnormally large mug of coffee. you telling him to stop was making the grip even harder. you noticed, and took a deep breath in.

“you know, getting angry is not going to get you anywhere. please, take my advice, and do not overwork yourself tonight.”

“can you not?” he snapped. “let me do my work.” 

this took you off guard for a second. he’s never said something like this to you before- even in your wedding vows, he promised he wouldn’t ever insult you, show major aggression to you, or put his hands on you. ever. 

“i’m simply just trying to help, dearest, please take my advice-” you stopped yourself, seeing his expression. he just rolled his eyes at you, bringing himself back into his work. you’ve never seen your husband do that, he’s always at least taken your words into regards. you try once more. “alhaitham, come to bed-” 

“can’t you tell i’m trying to do work? leave me the hell alone!” he slammed his hands on the table, making you jump back a little bit. tears were coming to your eyes, but you tried to control them. 

“what is with the sudden aggression? you have never done this before!” you raised your voice slightly to try and counter his words, trying to make yourself appear bigger than you felt you were. 

“you’re trying to interrupt me as i work. i will not tolerate it. you can wait. stop caring so much, would you?” he sighs, putting his face in his hands, running his hands up and down his head and ruffling his own hair. “leave me alone. how many times do i have to make myself clear? or is it not clear enough? are you just that stupid?” 

that sentence made you freeze. he did not at all look like he was going to take that back. you nodded and started to walk out the door before he grabbed your shoulder. you stopped once again, thinking this was him apologizing, but you turned around to find a very angry man. 

“and by the way, i’d never do that for you. that’s irritating, and your artwork isn’t worth caring for anyways. go.” 

and there was the start of many tears. you ran out in fear and sadness, wondering what ever got into him to lash out like that. you knew he could be extreme and give out major criticism, but he was never this harsh to you. you looked down at the band on your ring finger, spinning it around a few times. the good memories, your honeymoon, your wedding, and the proposal all came flooding through your mind. it made you cry even harder than you already were, if that's even possible. you slid the ring off and threw it on your nightstand of your shared home, and then was sure to make a point of moving it to his. so he could see the damage he’s caused. you packed a tiny bag and left for the night to go to your friend dehyas place. you knew she’d have some good advice for you.

after a short trek to see her, you knocked on her door, soaked from the rain. she welcomed you in with an impressively strong pat on the back, immediately noticing your puffy eyes and noticing the ring wasn’t where it was normally. 

“what happened to that ring that alhaitham married ya with? did divorce knock on your door?” she sighed. “i knew that’d happen, damned man.”

that sentence made you cry again. she immediately corrected her wrongdoings and pulled you into a strong embrace, stroking your hair. 

“alright, tell me what's the matter.”

“he raised his voice at me… he’s never done that before, dehya!!” you cried harder into her arms, and you could hear her sigh.

“that man, oh did he make a mistake. what are you going to do?” she asked, looking down at you without stopping her motions.

“i’m not sure.. i love him… but i don’t think he loves me..” you sniffled, hugging dehya even tighter now. she nodded, looking down at you in sorrow. she wishes on every star there was something she could do to make you feel better. 

“maybe you should try to talk to him. i know that’s probably not gonna do too much, but i guess it’s worth the effort…”

“but i tried that already, dehya! trust me, i tried to talk to him. and then he ever so rudely kicked me out like i was a colleague that was sent from the fortress of meropide in fontaine! worthless!” you groaned, letting your head fall dramatically on dehyas lap. 

“maybe you have to let him approach you first. give it time, it’ll probably happen.”

you thought long and hard about that night. it’s been two days since your argument, over what exactly? just because you didn’t want him to fail at his job? his papers don’t even have a near due date! if even one at all!! you sat against your bed, lightly scratching the ground with your nails. it seems alhaitham took the ring he gave you, and went back to work the next day. he probably isn’t even thinking about what happened, or so you thought.

considering, the night you got back from dehyas, you were welcomed home to him sipping on some tea, watching the television. probably some documentary about the history of the aranara. you said a slight hey, and he just looked at you, immediately making your heart sink. you sighed and walked away to the spare bedroom. the worst part was that he just let you. he didn’t seem like he cared, or willing to take back all of the insults he threw at you that night. it seemed like that night was the only thing you could think about. 

though, he feels super remorseful about the things he did and said that night. he hasn’t been able to properly focus, being logical enough to know that those words are something you’ll likely never bounce back from. you’ve already broken a paintbrush you’ve had, scratching a rip into a painting you spent hours on. he saw that when he came back home that night, gasping slightly. and that’s when the reality hit him. 

he’s currently slouching over his desk, doing something he’d never even fathom doing in a million years- doodling on his papers. he couldn’t focus, he felt he needed to make it up to you. but he’d only ignore you whenever you tried to take dehyas advice and maybe talk through it with him. he doesn’t know why he ignored you, he just thought he couldn’t talk to you properly in the moment. 

little did he know you were packing your suitcases to move into a small apartment you purchased with a fair amount of mora in the middle of liyue harbor. you told dehya about your plan, also letting her know to wait on letting alhaitham know about your plan. you were too hurt by his words, and you knew you could never be able to sleep in the same bed, nevertheless see the man anymore. you knew you were gonna be gone by dark tonight, which is plenty time before he’d get home. once you’ve packed the last of your things, you set off, taking a carriage to the chasm before being escorted by yelan herself to the harbor, tipping her a fair amount of mora for her kindness. you immediately felt more refreshed, in a new place, away from the man you’ve never known would be as toxic as he appeared to be.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham angst #alhaitham x reader angst #genshin angst #genshin impact angst

[raysrays]

Crimson Guardian NSFW

Kyojuro Rengoku x Wife! Reader

18+ MDNI!🚫

CW: NSFW Content, minor angst, controlling/manipulating behavior, fluff-ish.

Y/N POV

Scenario : You've recently married into the respected Rengoku family, and while you continue your work as a demon slayer, life starts to get a bit messy. Balancing your duties becomes a real challenge as you navigate the challenges of married life. You find yourself having to make tough choices just to keep your husband happy, all while debating to stay true to yourself and your calling as a demon slayer.

Marriage. Truly one of the most beautiful milestones a couple can achieve. Marrying Kyojuro has undoubtedly been my greatest accomplishment.

I still remember it vividly, as if it were yesterday. Surrounded by friends, family, and core members, we pledged our lives to each other. Though it wasn't the most glamorous wedding ever seen, it was enough. Because really, all I've ever wanted was Kyojuro, and now, finally, I have him.

For the first few months, our marriage was nothing short of perfect. I moved into the Rengoku estate with Kyojuro's family, assisting Shenjuro with chores and gradually trying to get closer to Shinjuro. Though I'm not sure how successful I was.

It was only six months in that I realized being a demon slayer and a wife wasn't as easy as I thought.

Before our relationship, I was Kyojuro's Tsuguko. He was simply my mentor, and I trained hard under him to get myself where I am today. It was later down the road that we noticed each other's lingering gazes, the occasional flirting, and all the other subtle hints of wanting to be more.

Kyojuro was strong, and I knew he wanted a family, but I simply wasn't ready to give up training and my duties as a demon slayer just yet.

Every day, after helping out around the estate, I would hike over to HQ and pick up where I had left off the previous day, training until the late hours of the night. I would often come home exhausted, which usually caused Kyojuro to worry. As much as I reassured him, he never seemed fully convinced.

Now, here I was, sitting at the dinner table with Kyo across from me. It was a rare occasion for us to eat alone together like this. We made small talk about our day and training, and then he finally stopped eating and put his silverware down.

"Little Flame, I think it’s time we have a serious discussion about the way things have been as of late,” his usual happy smile seemed almost nervous.

I set my spoon down on my plate, giving him my full attention.

“Yes? What is it?”

“Sunflower, you have been working so hard as of late, and it’s quite admirable. I truly admire your dedication to the demon slayer corps and your training!”

“But…?” I ask, confused.

“But… since our marriage, I’ve found myself in constant worry over you. Every time you go on a mission without me, I have to painfully wait for your return. Not knowing whether or not you'd be injured or even-“

“Dead?” I finish.

I saw his body tense up at the word.

“Yes, my love. Dead. I cannot even bear the thought of you never returning to me. It pains me to my core,” he seemed so sad, so worried about me.

I know Kyojuro, I know he didn’t mean anything bad by what he was saying. However, I felt almost offended. He too was a slayer, a hashira. I also had to deal with the fear of him returning with serious injuries or even never returning at all.

Did he believe me to be incapable of protecting myself? He was the very one who trained me. Even though I knew Kyojuro was strong, much stronger than me, it just felt like he lacked faith in me.

“You don’t think I’m strong enough anymore? Do you think marriage has made me soft?” I realized I might have come off a little too harsh, but my emotions were getting the best of me.

His expression seemed surprised, but I could tell. While he may not have used those words, that was definitely the gist of it.

I watched him get up from his place at the table and walk over to me. He pulled my chair out from under the table, then grabbed my hands and kneeled down in front of me.

His big, bright eyes were now staring up at me.

“You are one of the strongest people I know, my love. I know how capable you are, but please remember…”

He brought my hands to his lips, kissing them softly.

“You are my wife before you are a demon slayer. I cannot risk sending you off only for you to never return.”

I could practically hear the desperation and love in his voice.

Kyojuro wasn’t someone who would usually discourage anyone from pursuing something they're passionate about. So if he was now, I knew that it’s something he’s been internally battling with for a while.

“What about you? Is it not the same? What about my worry? What if you never come home to me?” I could feel my face start to heat up. Everything he was saying seemed to come from genuine care, but it felt so hypocritical.

“I am a Hashira, my little flame. I have a certain responsibility you do not have to burden yourself with. I shall retire soon, in just a few years. So please…”

There’s no way he’d ask me-

“Please retire your sword, Y/N. Please stay home for me. Please allow my heart to rest easy knowing you'll be here waiting for me whenever I shall return,” his voice was pleading.

I felt so conflicted. I’d worked so hard. All of these years of training to hopefully become a high-ranking swordsman myself. However, at the same time, I never stopped to consider my romantic life and how being married would affect things.

We both sat there in silence for a few moments, and I finally rose up from the chair, pulling him up off his knees along with me.

I looked up at him, reaching my hand up to rest on his cheek.

“Kyojuro, you are the only one I would retire my sword for. So please promise me, promise me you will always come home to me. Until the day you yourself retire.”

“I promise you, Sunflower. As long as I know you are safe and waiting for me, there is no demon that could ever keep me away.”

I felt his hand on my lower back and the other holding up my chin.

We both leaned in, our lips meeting in a tender kiss.

This kiss started so gently, so lovingly at first. As we pulled away for just a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, we realized how long it had been since we really enjoyed each other’s company.

After that, the kiss only grew hotter and more passionate.

Kyojuro swept me off my feet and carried me straight to our shared room at the back of the estate, the most private spot. It seemed fitting for newlyweds, after all.

As he gently laid me back on the soft futon, I couldn't help but stay focused on him. Kyojuro was simply beautiful. His hair, his eyes, his body, everything about him looked like he was perfectly sculpted.

My admiration was interrupted as I felt him begin to kiss me again. One of his hands traveling to my breasts, gently squeezing it.

The other massaging my thigh.

I feel him pull away from me starting to kiss on my neck traveling all the way down to my chest.

Kyojuro had always known my weak points and how to make me say yes to his every request. He knew my body just as well as I did, and now he was taking full advantage of that knowledge.

I could feel him pressing against me as he moved his hand down my body, lightly touching me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me, wanting more.

Then I heard, Kyojuro's soft voice whisper these words, almost as a demand. "Enjoy this little flame, you've kept me waiting far too long.”

As soon as those words left his lips, I felt myself begin to relax. His movements were so gentle, so careful, so loving.

His fingers trailed down my sides, sending chills through my body. His hands went back up and caressed my neck, making me tremble. He kissed me once more, and I melted into him.

It was as if he had cast a spell over me, and all I could do was obey him. He was completely in control of me.

After a moment, I felt him move back down and remove my underwear, revealing my already wet entrance. His hand slid between my thighs, and I couldn't help but let out a moan as his finger slipped inside me. He was gentle at first, just barely grazing me, but it felt incredible.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly, his breath hot against my ear.

I nodded but I could tell that wasn’t enough for him.

“Use your words my love.” He demanded sweetly.

“Yes Kyo, it’s perfect.” I said, my voice trembling.

He leaned down and kissed my lips before pulling back again, smiling at me.

"I want to be inside of you," he whispered, his voice filled with desire.

"Please," I begged.

He removed his fingers, replacing them with his cock, his tip rubbing against my clit.

"Good girl," he whispered, thrusting into me.

I threw back my head, arching my back and digging my nails into his shoulders. His movements were slow and deep at first and then they became faster and harder, and soon my whole body began to shake. I couldn't stop the moans from escaping my lips, and I couldn't help but beg for more.

When he starts to speed up I know we are both about to reach our limit.

I feel his fingers interlock with mine and his lips pressing against mine again, but this time, he wasn’t just kissing me, he was also letting his teeth graze my bottom lip.

He was biting down hard enough to draw blood.

We were both so close and we were both trying to hold back but we couldn’t anymore. We were finally going to let ourselves release.

I was the first one to let myself go, arching my back as I moaned his name.

Then he followed not too far behind.

After he finishes, we just lay there for a bit catching our breath.

“I love you, Y/N,” he finally breathed out, turning his head to look at me.

I turned to face him as well. “I love you, Kyojuro.”

After that, the two of us drifted off in each other's arms for the rest of the night.

The next morning when I awoke, I was still trapped wrapped in Kyojuro's arms.

After a bit of struggling, I managed to maneuver my way out and make it to the kitchen.

There I saw Senjuro, who was already preparing breakfast for everyone.

“Good morning, Sen,” I greeted with a yawn.

“Oh, good morning, Y/N!”

“I'm almost finished with breakfast. Is my brother awake yet?”

“He should be awake soon. We both have to see Master Kagaya today,” I said, rubbing my eyes.

He stopped to turn and look at me.

“Did something bad happen?” he asked nervously.

Poor Senjuro always assumes the absolute worst in every situation. Well, I suppose in this case it’s somewhat understandable.

“No, Sen, nothing's wrong. Kyojuro and I are just going to inform Master Kagaya of my retirement. That’s all.”

He gave a puzzled look.

“Retirement? Why? Haven’t you been training for years to improve your sword skills to move up in the ranks?” he asked.

He was right. I know I shouldn’t go back on my word to Kyojuro, but I really was having second thoughts about my decision.

Senjuro could probably sense my doubt because his next response was:

"If this is something that you're not sure of, then you shouldn't do it. If you have doubts about this decision, then maybe you're not ready for retirement just yet."

His words really struck a chord with me.

Maybe he was right.

Before I could ponder that any further, Kyojuro had made his way into the kitchen.

"Good morning! How are my two favorite people doing?" he said cheerfully.

I smiled.

"Morning, Kyo. Did you sleep well?"

"I did, actually. Thank you, little flame," he walked over to me, giving me a kiss.

I could feel my chest tightening, nervous about what was to come.

The whole time at breakfast, I felt so spaced out. All I could hear was Kyojuro and Senjuro talking and the occasional grunt from Shinjuro drinking away at the table.

“Sunflower? Are you okay?”

I was snapped out of my daze by Kyojuro waving a hand in front of my face. All three of them were staring at me, kind of concerned.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

I shook my head a little and looked down at my plate. I felt bad for Senjuro going through all that trouble to cook, but I simply couldn’t eat right now.

After we finished breakfast, Kyojuro and I headed out.

The thought that this would be the last time wearing my uniform with my sword by my side was so weird and almost uncomfortable to me.

I knew that this day would come eventually, but I always hoped in the back of my mind that Kyojuro would be the one to retire before me.

I had been so focused on training and my duties as a demon slayer that it had never even occurred to me how my marriage would affect everything.

I was now a wife. My first priority should be the estate, and helping Shinjuro while he was in his state of grief, and being there for Senjuro as well.

It wouldn’t be right of me to go against my husband's wishes either. Especially after the intimate moment we shared. Right?

As we made it to HQ waiting to speak with the master I felt my heartbeat racing inside of me.

The room was quiet, I could feel Kyojuro’s eyes lingering on me but I couldn’t bring myself to face him right now.

Both mine and Kyojuro’s attention was shifted as we heard the door open and Master Kagaya entered the room.

"Rengoku, Y/N. It's a pleasure to see you both," Kagaya said, his face as warm as ever.

"It's wonderful to see you too, Master," I replied.

"So what brings you two here? It seems urgent, judging by the fact that you came in so early."

"It is very urgent," Kyojuro began.

He then proceeded to explain our conversation from the night before, and how I was considering retiring.

"Y/N, this is a big decision, and it's important that you feel comfortable and confident in it. Do you think you can fully retire, knowing you won't be able to assist the demon slayers as you are now?" Kagaya asked.

I looked at the master and then glanced at Kyojuro. He seemed so proud and happy that we were here. I could feel the warmth radiating from him.

But, I could also sense the worry in his expression. He was nervous, scared almost.

I couldn't do that to him.

"Master, I've spent most of my life training for the opportunity to become a hashira. To serve the demon slayer corps and protect those who cannot protect themselves. But...I'm no longer just a demon slayer. I'm also a wife, and as such, I think it's only right that I focus on that," I answered.

The room fell silent for a moment.

"If you truly feel this is the right choice, then we support you, Y/N," Kagaya finally spoke.

"Thank you, Master," I bowed.

"Thank you so much, Master! I will never

forget your kindness!" Kyojuro bowed as well.

The two of us left the room and started to head out.

As we exited, we ran into a few of the other Hashira, who asked us about what we had gone to see Master Kagaya about.

They too seemed surprised and a little concerned when Kyojuro explained to them that I would be retiring so soon.

I could tell some of their reactions to the news annoyed Kyojuro. Shinobu used the word “controlling,” and you could see his smile almost falter.

"Controlling" was never a word I would have used to describe my husband. He just loves me, right? He wants to protect me. There's no way my sweet and kind Kyo would ever do anything to control or manipulate me.

Right?

Part Two

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba #kny rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku x reader #x reader #kny #kny hashira #yandere rengoku #yandere #light angst #rengoku x y/n #rengoku smut #kny kyojuro #kny smut #smut #kyojuro rengoku x reader #kyojuro rengoku #kny x reader #demon slayer rengoku #demon slayer smut #kyojuro x reader #kimestu no yaiba #anime #hashira x reader #fluff #oneshot #headcanon