#i think i like this colouring but it feels different than what ive been doing recently

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

how to not be overstimulated

#put music on - some of my very favourite stuff - and oh! it is making my hair stand on end! in not a good way! i am now on edge and i #don't! know! why! #if only all this would make SENSE >:( #no apparent trigger that i can perceive #back to our regular i want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee apparently #and there's no REASON for to be feeling like this it would be so much easier if there WAS #i want to do so many things but they involve Textures and No #knitting? i want to finish my cloak! im les than a row away from the border itself! excited! and its maybe at times getting cool enough i #could wear it! but the mere thought of perhaps i should knit to calm down sounds Too Much! because knitting has Texture! #piano? it has Sounds! and there's a slightly worrying trend beginning to emerge that piano makes me Feel Emotions! and it's been like at #least five times where ive gone to play the piano to calm down which helps to some extent but also helps to remove a numb feeling which is #overall good emotionally but it has ended up with me harming because i can't Deal with the Emotions! and i dont think this is a very good #trend! i could get out my colouring book i was given for my birthday and see if that helps but that also has Sounds! pencil on paper sounds #i could write but id have to work out a different scene because i cannot write the scene im up to rn bc it's hard enough when im #emotionally stable bc neither character knows what to do or say! #so many things i *could* do! i could go for a walk! too Bright #i could do All These Things If Only I Could #am i just making up all these difficulties and is it just my own stupid brain that's inventing things? Who Knows!! #and it's so unfair that eating makes everything *worse* #it shouldn't happen that way #it just shouldn't #i just want to die so bad #i wont do anything #not permanent i mean #tw suicidal ideation #tw sh #for the record i ate a meal like an hour and a half ago and ive hydrated #personal #im just so tired and pathetic and messed up :/

[archiveofrasa]

i see a lot of criticism about the friendships between the babel characters and how we were told a lot of things about their positive dynamic, yet shown barely any of it (but are instead mostly presented with the negative aspects). i don’t know if other people clocked this but i feel like it was intentional

rf kuang was commenting on friendships made through trauma-bonding: they were doomed from the start

tldr; the characterisation is (one of) the subtly(ies) people were looking for in the colonial theme. they criticise the latter but i love the fact colonialism is more of an upfront theme because lord knows i am tired of it being subtle so people can ignore it

robin says from the very beginning after they formed their little friend group:

“why had they been so quick, so carelessly eager to trust one another? why had they refused to see the myriad of ways they could hurt each other? why had they not paused to interrogate their differences in birth, in raising, that meant they were not and could never be on the same side?”

the next small paragraph goes into a raft metaphor about how they saw themselves in each other and that’s why they stuck together. they shared one thing they could not ignore – their otherness. their friendship was purely built on the fact they were discriminated against and that they had to spent the next 4 years with each other. their first pleasant conversation is them discussing how they were treated at oxford. of course, the characters didn’t see this because they had never really befriended people their age before. this feeling of belonging felt like love to them (considering their upbringings, ramy’s i will discuss in a bit)

it makes perfect sense why robin would repeatedly imply that they loved and cared about each other. in his eyes, they did. what was it they had if not love? robin, who has ignored so many problems in the past before babel as he knew it would cause him issues, wouldn’t address their friendship dynamic or how strong the arguments and animosity were. he, an abused child, would rather have this than nothing at all

in actuality (demonstrated, i think, through the photograph they took at the end of chapter 9), they were together because of academia’s and discrimination’s forced proximity. robin feels specific emotions about them that feel strong to him because he’s never experienced it before, but that doesn’t mean they are strong enough to keep them together, which is why when they see the photo, they feel weird about it because why isn’t it portraying their dynamic ‘correctly’?

it’s true that perhaps to get robin’s perspective across, it would’ve been good to see the positive aspects more but i think that would’ve made it harder for us to see how weak their friendship was. people wanted more positive to show that they loved each other, which isn’t the point rf kuang is trying to make

rf kuang chooses to show the negative aspects more because they show where their friendship will end up. when letty did what she did, i didn’t see it as a plot twist, i saw it as an inevitability. this was going to happen. honestly, i feel this with most of the ‘plot twists’ of babel except the end of book iii (i really didn’t see that coming). it was easy for letty to do what she does in book iv because their friendship had such unstable foundations. when they no longer benefitted her, she turned her back on them

the only dynamic i feel was actually strong was robin and ramy. i’m not just saying this because i think they’re queer lol. they were close not just because they were both men of colour and had similar upbringings – they actually liked each other. they admired each other and adored each other’s personalities, they bounced off each other and knew what the other meant when they spoke. when they argued, it was over something that actually considered each other’s beliefs and goals and desires, not over their differences.

(unlike letty and ramy, letty and victoire and maybe even robin and victoire, though i think they lean more to ramy/robin than they do to letty/anyone lol. ramy and victoire have a dynamic that i personally feel like robin didn’t really see because ramy understood victoire in a way robin couldn’t. you kind of see it when robin is the one who letty complains about ramy/victoire to, but that’s it i think?)

speaking of ramy, linking it back to their perspectives of love, it makes a lot of sense why he caused the most disruption in the friend group. he’s the only one with an actual family that he stays in touch with. he knows what love feels like. so of course he’s the one that is strongly anti-empire, compared to robin and victoire who have been emotionally manipulated in their childhood by said empire, the one who argues with letty the most. he still feels what robin and victoire feel, of course, but to a lesser extent

honestly i don’t know how to end this analysis, i just think rf kuang is a genius lmao but i may add more onto this as i continue to reread the book we shall see

#the way my most recent posts are abt babel i'm so sorry #i have hyperfocused on this book so hard #and bc my friends are still reading it i can't spoil it for them #i know sappho might read this and if he does...🔫 #babel r f kuang #babel an arcane history #babel or the necessity of violence #robin swift #ramiz rafi mirza #letitia price #victoire desgraves

[mistress-ofmagic]

Around the Realms in 80 days - chapter 21

Pairing: Reader x Loki

Story summary: You have fallen through a portal during the convergence into Asgard and come face to face with Thor, and his brother Loki. With no way to return, you must travel with the two men and their hoard of asgardian soldiers to get back home. Things get from bad to worse when you have to share a tent with the god of mischief himself.

Notes:

Hi!!! Hope you are doing well! I don't have much to say here for once other than the fact I really loved writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy it! This is my longest chapter to date standing at just over 5000 words so it has taken me a while! Please let me know what you think as all your comments mean the world!

Read this story on a03!

find all parts to this story on Tumblr here:

Your eyes flickered open. The world was moving fast in bright colours around you. You were vaguely aware of being in someones arms as you travelled through the rainbow tube. You tried open your mouth to speak but you blacked out again.

                                                                            ***

This time when you woke, you woke lying in a bed in the middle of a small room. Your eyes felt heavy, and difficult to open. You just wanted to go back to sleep but there was someone saying your name. 

“How are you feeling?” It was a man’s voice you didn’t recognise. 

“Hm.” You grunted. You mouth felt dry and strange to use. 

How were you feeling? Tired mainly but your torso ached and it felt like there was a heavy weight on your chest. 

“What would you give the pain out of 10?” 

In your state you thought it was a stupid question. You were too tired to concentrate on anything, you couldn’t even open your eyes, never mind try to think critically about pain. 

“It hurts. Like an 8.” You croaked out.  

“Okay. I’m just administering oxycodone, it’s a strong painkiller.” 

You didn’t care if he was administering orange juice, you just wanted to sleep. 

“What is it now?”

“A 6?”

You weren’t completely sure there had been any difference but you wanted to be left alone. The man checked in a couple more times but soon he left you to sleep. 

You spent the next few hours drifting in and out of consciousness, barely aware of your surroundings. Your thoughts meandered through your brain like clouds; never able to catch one and hold onto it for long. You were vaguely aware of people coming in and out to check on you, but you were never sure who or for how long they were there. 

Eventually you came round to keep your eyes open for long enough to notice the dark haired, blue eyed man sat on the chair next to you watching you closely. 

“You’re alive” He spoke matter of factly.

“So they tell me. Don’t get too excited.” 

You blinked heavily becoming more aware of your surroundings. You had an IV tube coming out of the cannula in your left hand and a thin oxygen tube in your nostrils that itched if you thought about it too much. You were donning a sexy hospital gown and were tucked under thin blankets. 

“What hospital is this?” You asked. 

“You’re in Stark Towers.” Loki said, grimly. “They have some wards here, free health care for Stark employees.”  Loki sniffed. “The care would have been better on Asgard.” 

“I’m not so sure Odin would be best pleased with that.” 

Loki didn’t disagree. 

He continued to stare at you, not exactly friendly.

“What?” You grunted, your voice still hoarse.

“What?” He parroted, “What?” His voice started to raise, “You’re lucky you are not dead you wretched girl. If you were not in so much pain right now…”

“Yeah well you’re lucky to be alive too! You’re welcome by the way Jesus, next time I won’t bother.” You were in pain and irritated. 

“Good, you shouldn’t.” He spat. “ I don’t think you realise… you could have died! I could have lost you.”

You both looked surprised at his admission. His eyes wide and mouth open slightly as if he wasn’t expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“Well, I’m still here.” You said in a small voice. 

Loki sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He looked almost as tired as you felt, with dark circles under his eyes and unkempt hair. 

Your torso continued to hurt and you knew that if you tried to sit up it would be worse so you didn’t bother. After all that drama you felt exhausted.

“I apologise, I shouldn’t have raised my voice, not when you are in this condition.”  He breathed. “We can talk about this later.”

There was a few moments silence before you decided to change the subject. 

“What happened after I fell?”

“I took you back via the Bifrost.”

“And the Fire demons?”

“Thor and the others came out on top mostly, but we didn’t learn as much as we hoped.” He sighed. 

“Actually…” You repeated back the conversation you had with the fire demon who had cornered you. 

Loki looked thoughtful.

“I wonder what they’re using humans for.”

Your mind flicked back to that conversation which had resulted in you shooting the demon. 

You shuddered.

Loki quickly switched his attention back to you,

“Are you cold?” He asked, sharply. 

“Er, no.” You ignored the strange feeling in your stomach that arose due to his consideration, a feeling that had nothing to do with your injures. 

Loki was still staring at you and you signed, 

“I guess I feel bad about…hurting that fire demon.”

Loki continued to stare at you, unnerving you slightly. 

“Well,” You huffed defensively “What if he was married? What if he had tiny fire demon babies and enjoyed going to see fire demon movies at the pictures on weekends and I just…”

His eyebrows raised and his mouth twisted into a smile.

“Stop laughing at me, sorry I’m not a cold blooded killer like you.” You turned your face away from him.

Loki signed and looked at you amused. 

“You’re sweet.”

You turned back to him to scowl. A rare compliment from Loki and you were outraged. 

“I’m not sweet, fuck off.” 

He laughed and then spoke, seriously, as if just remembering again why you were here in the first place. 

“You saved my life.” This time he didn’t say it angrily.

“Yeah well, we all make mistakes.” You brought the tone back to being lighthearted. 

There was a pause for a moment and then Loki said, 

“Fire demons don’t get married and have babies, or go to the theatre.” 

You turned back to face him, still scowling. 

“Well” you spluttered “then how are they created?”

“They’re formed, where the volcanic ash meets the flowing lava in the core of Muspelheim. Some say they are all the offspring of Surtur.”

“Huh.” You let this information sink in. “All of them his offspring? Gets around a bit then doesn’t he, ol’ flame breath.” 

“Alas, I see you are back to your normal self.” 

You managed to crack a smile and then frowned thoughtfully. 

“What was that thing Surtur was talking about rag-thingy?”

Loki sighed and rubbed his head, “Ragnarok.” He spoke slowly. “The destruction of the cosmos and everything in it.” 

You took a second to take this in.

“Not to sound stupid but like…why would Surtur want to even cause that?”

He gave you a slide glance. 

“Its written in the prophecy that Surtur would bring about the ending of the realms, nothing left but the void. Then, in its place, a new, better world would emerge lead by superior beings.”

“Sounds kind of like a message a cult would try and push. And Surtur’s okay with dying if it means fulfilling the prophecy?” 

Loki gave a half shrug,

“Perhaps he thinks he will survive to lead as the superior being or perhaps he feels driven to simply fulfil his prophecy, who can tell.”

“Well the other realms will want to stop this right? He won’t be able to go ahead with it?”

To your surprise Loki continued to look grim. 

“It is like you said, some believe it is a mere fairytale, told as fiction or believed by an insolent few with nothing better to believe in. Would your people believe this?”

You shook your head, as you said before, it sounded like a stupid cult. 

“Other versions of the story talk of the destruction of the Aesier Gods and the rise of the new Gods and there are many who would wish for this to come to fruition, and rather than stopping it would help enable it. I believe Surtur would work with anyone to help him bring about Ragnarok.”

Your eyes felt heavy again. The conversation had been an exhausting one and despite the fact you should be horrified, you mainly just felt sleepy. Loki noticed your fatigued state.

“You should get some rest. The doctors say that you will be very drowsy after the strong medication you have been given.” 

“Thank you nurse Loki.” You yawned. 

You were out before you could catch his reply. 

                                                                             ***

The next time you work up, Loki was still sat in the chair next to you, squinting and looking irritated while he was apparently watching Ice Age 2 on the television. 

“You’re still here.” You blurted out, surprised. 

Loki glared at you, “I can leave if you’d prefer.” He said, affronted. 

“No.” You said too quickly, his expression turning to one of surprise. “What I meant is…I was just surprised that’s all. I assumed you’d have better things to do than sit with me while I fall in and out of sleep, I’m not exactly much company. 

“I grew up with Thor, believe me this is much more preferable company.” He turned back to the TV.

“How are you finding Ice Age 2?” You asked. 

“Pitiful. Is this really what Midgardians see as entertainment?”

“Hey, this is a classic.”

He gave you a disparaging look as the nurse came into the room.

“Ah good, you’re awake. How do you feel?” She shot a couple of anxious glances towards Loki but to your surprise didn’t react too adversely to his presence. 

“Tired still.” You said truthfully.

“The aesthetic will make you tired, it can take 24 hours for the effects to wear off so you are likely feel fatigued for a while. Now you are awake I can take your oxygen tube off.” 

She bent down to do so and you were grateful for the relief from the itchy feeling of the tube. 

“You should try and eat and drink something.” She advised you.

Ugh, the thought of food made you feel sick. She saw the look on your face and said,

“I’ll bring you something light, make sure you keep drinking through.” She indicated to the jug of water next to you.

“Here, let me sit you up a bit.” She pressed the button on the side of the bed and raised the back so you were sat instead of laying. 

You pushed yourself up higher and cringed in pain at the feeling of moving. 

“Are you okay?” Loki asked, quickly. 

“Fine just hurts.” You winced. 

Now that you were sat up, and feeling more awake, the nausea kicked in much heavily. You took a tiny sip of water and felt worse. 

The nurse popped out the room and brought back some crackers, laying them next to the water. You eyed them, grossed out by their presence. 

“I’ll come back to check on you later.” She said pleasantly and then left. 

You closed your eyes again and tried to fight off the feeling of nausea. 

“You should eat something.” 

You didn’t reply you were busy focusing very hard on not being sick. 

“You should eat something.” Loki repeated.

“Yeah thanks.” You mumbled non-committally. 

Loki tutted angrily. “Do not make me repeat myself a third time. Do you want me to feed you like a babe?”

You cracked an eye open. 

“Er no, no one wants that.” 

“Well then eat something you silly chit.” 

“You’re so pushy.” 

Unfortunately, opening your mouth to speak triggered your gag reflex. 

Loki jumped in his chair and moved his arms as if he was about to touch you and then thought better of it. 

“Can you get the nurse to bring me a sick bucket.” You moaned. 

“Right.” 

He disappeared out of the room for a moment and came back with some disposable sick bowls that you always thought looked like cardboard hats.

“Here.” He passed you the bowl.

You sat yourself up higher and resumed the “I’m going to be sick” position over the bowl. Loki still hadn’t left and you side eyed him. 

“Can you go please?” You gagged again. 

Even in your state, you had enough pride to not want a God watching you as you threw up.

“Nonsense.” 

To your surprise, Loki stepped towards you and gently moved your hair so it wasn’t in your face. 

“I have seen worse things than an ill maiden.” He spoke softly. 

Ugh, fine, you thought. If he wanted to stay for the show so be it, you couldn’t be bothered arguing. Nor did you have time as it turned out as you expelled the contents of your stomach. 

Loki passed you some tissue to wipe your mouth with. You groaned and lay back as the nurse came and took the bowl away, giving you a fresh one. 

The aesthetic and painkillers unfortunately did not agree with you, and you threw up a few more times. Loki continued to stay with you, despite the fact that you doubted Asgardian Gods regularly nursed over humans. 

“Thanks.” You mumbled grimly as he took away one of your sick bowls. 

“You have thanked me nearly ten times now mortal, stop it or I will shut your mouth for you.”

“I am thankful though, you really didn’t have to stay.” 

Loki didn’t reply but brought you back another bowl and sat close to you. 

“This is humiliating.” You moaned. 

“There is nothing humiliating about being ill. Mortals still have such old fashioned ideas about modesty.” 

“That’s easy for you to say. You have probably never done anything humiliating in your life.” 

Loki gave a little snort but didn’t reply. You stared at him with your eyes narrowed. 

“Go on then, what is the most humiliating thing you have done?” 

Loki looked at you, unconvinced. 

“You’ve just held my hair back while I was sick, you owe me one humiliating story. Also I saved your life so.”

Loki rolled his eyes. 

“You’re always going to use that as a bargaining chip to get what you want, aren’t you?” He said dryly. 

“Hm. Now spill.” 

He took a deep breath in.

He spoke slowly, “A couple of hundred years ago I…I slept with Fandral.” 

You stared at him, your mouth opened slightly and eyes widened in surprise. You really hadn’t expected him to say that, you thought he would say something like “once I tripped up in front of the royal council” or “one time Thor left me with a black eye.” 

He met your gaze, waiting for your reaction. 

“What was he like?” You asked.

He gave you a little flick on the nose.

“Ow. I’m being serious Loki. Fandral is a good looking guy. Sleeping with a good looking guy isn’t humiliating. That’s like me saying oh this one time I won an award for being the too sexy and hot, it was so embarrassing for me.” 

Loki ignored you and continued to look like he’d sucked a lemon. “They were dark days.” 

“We’ve all slept with someone we don’t like as a form of punishment.” You paused, “Thanks for telling me, I know it meant a lot to admit that.” 

He gave a tight smile.

“Don’t get too used to it mortal. I merely told you to stop you from winging about being embarrassed from throwing up in front of me.” 

You spent the rest of the day flitting in and out of sleep, Loki beside you the whole time. You were to be kept a close eye on to ensure you were okay to be discharged so you stayed the night. To annoyance, Loki was asked to leave the ward at night. You persuaded him to go and get some rest and get a fresh pair of clothes and with great reluctance he agreed. 

That night, you dreamt you were back on Muspelheim fighting fire demons. This time, when you tried to run to save Loki your legs wouldn’t move and you had to watch on as one of the demons took him down. The next time, Loki was completely blue and he was the one attacking Thor and the others while you tried to get to him. 

You woke up abruptly, in a cold sweat and alone in your hospital bedroom.

Until now, you had completely forgotten about Loki’s skin turning blue and cooling your burns down. How could you have forgotten that? Was that part of Loki’s magic skills or something else? You were going to have to ask him about it when he visited later. Assuming that he did visit later of course, he had been there for the full day before he might decide his caring duties were finished. You closed your eyes again and managed to get back to sleep.

In the morning the nurse had brought you something to eat, which you managed to keep down. After she’d helped you to use the facilities you were sat up feeling a bit brighter now the aesthetic had worn off and watching day time T.V.  

The door swung open but it was Thor that tipped into your room looking somewhat sheepish and holding a big bunch of flowers. 

“You’re awake!” He greeted you, and planted a kiss on your cheek. 

“Thor! Thanks for the flowers.”

Seeing Thor, future king of of Asgard stood in your small room with the largest bunch of flowers you’ve ever seen felt very strange somehow, as if he didn’t quite fit the space he was in. 

“Er, sit down.” You indicated to the chair Loki had been residing in after a few moments of him stood awkwardly at the foot of your bed. 

He plonked himself in the chair and then said, rushed,

“Latte, I cannot apologise enough for what happened and I am so glad to see you well. I take full responsibility for what happened to you and -.” 

“Thor, oh my god, honestly it’s not your fault.” 

He continued to look grave. 

“I should have been keeping closer watch on you when we were on that forsaken planet and…” 

“Seriously, Thor it’s fine I made my own choices.” 

He sighed heavily but looked relieved. 

“Thank you for saving my brother.” He said seriously. “Just to think, a little while ago you both hated each other, and now look at you, firm friends.” He beamed.

“Well, okay, let’s not be too hasty.” You tried to sit yourself up a bit higher. “How is everyone else doing?”

“Fine, fine. The rest of the warriors headed back to Asgard. Stark wants to speak to you by the way when you are feeling better. He said he might come down and see how you’re doing.” 

There was a couple of moment of comfortable silence when you remembered your dream earlier. 

“Thor, erm, can you tell me more about Loki’s…parentage?” You asked, tentatively.

His forehead creased.

“Why do you ask?” 

“So there was this moment when I got hit by the fire demons Loki’s erm hand turned blue and like really cold?”

Thor shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“I think its’ best I let Loki tell you more about that.” 

You sighed, you thought he would say as much but it was worth a try. 

Thor actually stayed with you for a couple of hours, watching Madagascar and it was nice to have some company. Unlike Loki, Thor actually seemed to find cartoons amusing and kept guffawing with laughter.

After a while, Loki popped by to see you again. He looked a little fresher than when you’d last seen him, but still had dark under eyes and a pale complexion. He was holding a bunch of flowers himself and he seemed unsurprised but a little irritated to see Thor there. 

“I can take it from here, thanks.” Loki told his brother. 

Thor kept his eyes glued to the T.V, “I’m just waiting to see if these animals make it back to their zoo.” 

Loki glowered at him and Thor eventually looked up and got the hint. 

“Er, see you later then Latte. I’ll come down and see you soon.” He gave you another kiss on the cheek to which Loki scowled further and then left. 

Loki moved Thors flowers from your bedside table and put his down instead, moving Thor’s to further away from you. 

“You didn’t strike me as the flowers type.” You raised your eyebrows pointedly. 

“These are from my mother.”

“Huh?” 

Loki gave you an irritated look. “She wrote to say she wishes you well.” He fussed over the flowers.

“You… you wrote to your mother about me?”

You felt funny inside, you were both flattered and unsure how you felt about the Queen of Asgard perceiving you and knowing what you got up to.

Loki shrugged your comment off and sat down where Thor had been. 

You would normally spend longer pressing him but you really wanted to talk about the big blue elephant in the room.

“I need to ask you something.” You geared yourself up for your next question.

“Oh?” Loki was indifferent.

“Er yeah.” 

When you took a deep breath in you caught Loki’s attention and he eyed you cautiously.

“Is this about Fandral again because it was a long time ago and…”

“No! No it’s not about that.” You interjected.

Loki relaxed back into his chair,

“Ok, then…?”

“How come your hand turned blue and cold when I got shot with that fire bolt?” You blurted.

Loki froze in his seat for a couple of seconds.

“I - I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t play silly buggers with me, I saw it.” 

“I - er what?” You threw him off momentarily with your figure of speech. 

You took this moment to push him further.

“Does it have something to do with your true parentage? I saw some things in a book about erm how maybe you come from an ice planet or something I forgot it’s name…” You faltered at the end of your sentence. “But those books you said are sometimes wrong so…”

Loki continued to stay very still, you weren’t even sure if he had taken a breath.

“You don’t have to tell me!” You rushed, “If it’s like a sensitive topic or something I was just curious but if you don’t want to tell me then that’s fine of course.” You blathered.

He blinked a couple of times before he spoke.

“Yes.” He seemed to force himself to say. 

You wanted to ask “yes what?” But you let yourself be quiet. 

There was a long pause and you thought about changing the subject when he finally spoke.

“I should probably tell you.” He spoke, strained. 

“Well, er, only if you’re sure.” You hung on to his every word.

“It seems to have put some of it together already. I can’t say I’m surprised.” He seemed to deflate. “My father, my true father is Laufey, a frost giant from Jotunheim. And my mother…well one assumes she was a lesser frost giant. Either way I was abandoned and Odin took me in as one of his trophies.” He spat. 

You remembered reading that now, and your mind flicked back to the pictures in your “Norse mythology for dummies” book. You do not remember them being described as an especially nice, kind people. In fact, you could remember that the Asgardians seemed to hate them.

It did not sound like Loki had the nicest of starts in life. 

“And did you always know…?”

“That I was a frost giant?” Loki snorted wildly, “No, Odin elected to withhold that piece of information until a few years ago.” 

Jesus, you weren’t sure how to respond to that. 

From what you knew and had gathered already you started to piece things together. The idea Loki grew up for years not knowing why Odin favoured Thor or knowing why he was different from others made you feel…sad. 

Loki’s face looked pained and although you couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking about, you felt you were well versed in Loki’s inner battles. He stayed staring down at the floor, and continued to not move. 

“Loki, thanks for sharing that with me.” 

He flicked his eyes up to you. 

“You seem unfazed by this.”  He scowled. 

It seemed he was waiting for something but you weren’t sure what he needed from you. How do you react when someone shares something so intimate with you? Perhaps he didn’t think you were being upset enough.

“No, no,  I’m not unfazed, I think its’ really sad! I’m really sorry to hear that happened to you.”

You cringed at your words, you were clearly not very good at this.

Loki scoffed, “You should be scared, not sad.”

Now you were genuinely confused,

“Why would I be scared?” You asked slowly.

“I’m a monster.” He flashed his eyes at you. 

“Well, I already knew that.” You caught his eye so he knew you were joking with him but he didn’t smile back.

“I look like a monster.” He said plainly, as if he wasn’t too bothered by this. 

You weren’t sure how to respond to that or if he was looking for an ego lift or not. He was normally so cocky about his looks too so this had thrown you for a loop. You felt your face grow warmer as you tried to navigate your words.

“Well er I don’t know if it makes you feel any better but I actually think you look rather…good…you know, er, you’re pretty good looking and it feels like you’ve never really had an issue you know, scoring or anything…”

“Not in this form, obviously.” He rolled his eyes. 

“Wh- like…an ultimate form or…?” 

“My frost giant form.”

“Right, well obviously I haven’t seen you in that form so I can’t really comment. I also don’t know loads about frost giants so it’s kind of hard for me to understand, I guess I haven’t got much context…” 

Loki nodded and stood up suddenly. You thought you must have offended him and he was going to leave but he stalked over to the door and shut it. 

“I’ll show you.” 

You tensed yourself, your heartbeat quickening, unsure of what was about to happen. 

Loki stood at the bottom of your bed and closed his eyes. 

Swiftly, his skin started turning a pale blue colour and he grew even taller. Markings appeared on his skin, trailing down his arms and face. Finally he opened his eyes and you were shocked to see that they were a bright red. 

Your mouth hung open and you took a couple of seconds to take in the transformation. 

“See. You are scared.” His eyes narrowed at you, getting angry at your reaction.

“No?” You stuttered, scared. 

You gripped onto your blankets, and swallowed hard. 

It really was a shock seeing him like this. It’s not every day someone in front of you suddenly completely changes.

“No.” You repeated stronger this time. “I’m not scared its just that you look, different, and it’s taking me a second to get used to it. If I grew a few feet and turned purple or something you would have to get used to it, ’m not saying it in a bad way or anything…”

Truthfully now you were settling in to seeing him like this and your breathing had calmed down you really didn’t hate it. He still looked like Loki, with the same long dark hair and facial structure. To be honest you thought the colour was pretty and the markings were very cool. The more you looked at him the more you liked it. 

“I actually think this is a good look. It kind of suits you.” You said, candidly.  “So does all of you look like this when you transform or…?” You asked, innocently. 

Loki flashed his startlingly red eyes at you but you thought you could see a hint of a smirk too. You were relieved to see a shadow of his normal self and humour peaking through a somewhat angsty mood. 

Loki turned himself back to how he normally looks. 

“I meant what I said Loki. It genuinely must have been horrific to learn that there was such a large part of your past that you had been missing up until now.” 

He didn’t say anything and continued to stand.

“The monster that parents tell their children about at night.” He chuckled.

“Well hey, if it makes you feel any better I definitely won’t be telling my children about you. And if you’re trying to scare me off you forget I have seen you with bed head, and I still stayed friends with you even after that, no form of you could be scarier than that.”

You managed to get a half smile out of him before he sighed.

“I have gotten used to this part of myself.”

You nodded, encouragingly,

“That can’t have been easy, to find out you are something that your people have always despised and been brought up to hate and to make peace with that. That’s a massive achievement.” You smiled at him. 

“Yes I know.” He said, stiffly and rolling his eyes.

“I have made peace with being a monster now.” He eyed you curiously “however a sane human would have rang for the nurse and asked me to leave.” 

You snorted, you thought about saying “I’m not like other girls” ironically but you didn’t think Loki would get the joke. 

“Are you saying I’m not sane? That’s kind of rude, I’m in hospital, aren’t you supposed to be cheering me up?”

Loki gave you the exasperated look you were used to him giving you.

“Come on, why don’t you sit that blue ass down and watch…” You flicked the guide on “…Harry Potter with me?” 

Loki gave you a stern look.

“I will sit down, but not because you told me, because you are unwell and have been through serious physical trauma. Clearly this trauma involved a sever bang to your head which has made you think you can talk to me in such a vernacular way. I will forgive you however, because you are a patient.” 

“That’s very generous of you your majesty.” 

Notes: What did you think?? let me know!

Taglist:

@creationsbyme  @kikster606  @slytherinintj13  @th0rswh0res  @huntress-artemiss  @jannieka394 @stefffrs  @misswimberly @thedistractedagglomeration  @yoongissidebitchh  @purplekitten30 @mischief2sarawr  @johnmurphys-sass 

@lonadane  @imalovernotahater @lokisgoodgirl  @laliceee @dlwrish @paetonnn  @lovelysizzlingbluebird   @reas-writing  @buttercupcookies-blog @acidcasualties @alialiclouds 

@buckybarneslovesteve @evelyn-rathmore

#loki #loki x y/n #loki x reader #loki x you #loki smut #tom hiddleston #loki odinson #loki marvel #loki god of mischief #loki of asgard

[signedeclipse]

Hiiiii! Could I get the human flesh ask with Enmu, Gyutaro, and Daki? Thank youuuuuu!

Daki | Enmu | Gyutaro [X Reader]

In which their s/o mentions their interest in eating human flesh.

Daki

Daki didn't eat in the way demons typically did; she was more like a serpent, absorbing them through her scarves and leaving no trace at all

This meant you weren't exposed to it often, not unless her brother was around- but even he kept it to himself or his own privacy, there was just a mess left after

Just through glimpses, you'd learned how to see when Daki was 'eating', she was far more relaxed, usually in her demoness form laying back with you

You wondered what it tasted like, if she ate it like this because she was disgusted in it or if it was just to keep you away from it as much as possible

She had never offered you any, not that you expected her to

While laying down with her one day, you asked if she would be willing to let you try something

Cue the 'what? Why would you want to do that? Have you eaten today?'

She's obviously a bit concerned about the behaviour

But ultimately shrugs it off

The next time her brother comes in, she mentioned it to him, to which he gives you a small piece of the flesh

Daki cleans up your face from any droplets of blood, and if you can't finish it she happily eats the rest

She loves the colour it leave son your lips, but tells you not to do it again

Enmu

It would suffice to say that Enmu was very open about his qualities, usually using towering mounds to devour beings whole, even from right next to you as if it were nothing

He didn't like when people spoke to you loosely, acting as if he wasn't there, so he liked to put on a show for you

Even in his kisses, you'd taste the lingering blood in his canines, or mixed into his saliva

Enmu never really thought about giving you human meat, though

He knew demons were made to process and tear into it better, and you seemed happy with your own food, so why consider such a thing?

But when you'd stare at him curiously, he joking teased you by offering a chunk of someones thigh

You played with it in your hands for a bit, which stained and dripped with the red, before hesitantly biting it

Your teeth barely broke though, so it was useless and you sort of just ended up choking down some of the blood that gushed out

Maybe it wasn't for you

But Enmu was very amused

Gyutaro

Gyutaro didn;t like the idea of seeing you more demon like, so he ate with his back turned to you if not in an entirely different place so you wouldn't consider it all that much

He already has a sister as a demon, and he wasn't sure how he'd feel about his s/o being one too

You weren't allowed any dead bodies or horrible sights because he wanted to keep you as normal as he could, to keep that light shining

But there was no denying that you were a curious person

First, you tried animals bone marrow and bone broth, because it was very similar to a humans

But it didn't satiate the curiosity, so you tried to ask Daki to sneak you some

Of course he found out and scolded you, but he mentioned he wouldn't be mad if you really wanted to try

He knew you wouldn't like the taste, so he wasn't surprised when you ran for the sink after

Serves you right

Authors Note - I cant remember if this is the third or fourth of these requests, but please enjoy! Ive been loving this mini series a lot haha, I think some of the demons are a lot more careful than these guys

#daki #daki x reader #enmu #enmu x reader #gyutaro #gyutaro x reader #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer headcanons #headcanons #kny headcanons #kny #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #x reader #reader insert

[iintervallum]

some tma and tmagp meta and thoughts, disclaimer that this does contain some more negative critique

i think i realized why i still think about tma despite not actually fully loving the podcast. i like a lot of the lore and the workings of the avatars and the meta narrative around power structures,and many of the themes it discusses and disects through the subtext are intriguing, it has a very interesting tapestry of the inner workings of it's universe

but the actual way the podcast tells it was, at some points, repetitive and a little bit boring, i would have to relisten sometimes to episodes just to remember what was happening even though i was listening to a lot of it in the same time span and should have remembered, i havent felt as much of a need to revist the story as i have with other audio dramas ive listened to. I do want to say that i genuinely enjoy tma its just not something that ive latched onto as i have with other shows.

side tangent -> and seeing how volatile the fandom was in its peak i don't want to be involved further lol. I'm someone who has a bad habit of looking at discourse and critical tags because i like fandom history and I'm nosy, and seeing posts about jmart being "too fluffy" and the ending of tma having "no impact" and how they were "pandering" right next to posts about how "traumatically tragic" the ending was and how jmart was "extremely toxic" and they made them "do terrible things how dare they" was really funny. there were legitimate critiques of things there as well but the divisive nature of s5 is amusing to me as an outsider that came in late additionally some stuff with how fandom centers whiteness and white narratives, as nice as it that there is a widely adopted fanon of Jon as a person of colour, specially a brown asian man, i think the fandom still didn't really decenter whiteness at all, like sure you're solving the sexy man problem by making them non white but have you done...any thinking into the deeper implications of it? i have, being south asian myself makes it impossible not to. tangent over

I guess some aspects did not feel as tight as they could have been, with some themes the show deals with being hits and misses. i think the structure and the statement format as iconic as it is, restricted the way the story could be told, if i'm making sense? (and the decision to go with more realisitc and more grounded horror that intersected with real world issues are a part of said hits and misses from my perspective, some things i feel didnt fully work from a narrative standpoint but thats a subjective thing that i wont get into)

thats why i'm enjoying tmagp a little more, i think they took what worked well with tma and expanded on it with a fuller cast from the offset,the inclusion of the non statement parts that tma had (the interpersonal relationships and conflicts) and intergrated it without fully losing what makes tma intriguing to listen to. tmagp so far seems to balance the cases and the character interactions well. it doesnt feel like we're just going with the same format and its not too unfamilar either.

like one thing i'm looking forward to is the guest writers, specifically a few of them since ive listened to their work and loved them, and it will be really interesting to see how their writing would work within the tma universe.

and an aspect which makes tmagp intresting as well is if you have proior knowledge of the tma universe, we know much more than the characters, and have our own perceptions of what is going to happen to them based on our previous understanding of the series and the events that transpired. we're just waiting for the characters to catch onto what we know, and all the foreboding tragedy and devastation that will come with it.

some part of me wonders, if this season will be about how tragedies like the universe ending in the way it did in s5 are unavoidable, how even in an alternate universe where the circumstances are different the same things are bound to happen again. no matter what its inevitable, the mark of what transpired cannot ever be reversed,

like there are parallels to be had with how jon was ultimately pulled into everything against his will and had not that much agency in what happened to him, even if he did make the decision to use the power he had(for both good and bad reasons), it was forced onto him in the first place. meanwhile we have sam who is desperate for a connection to something greater, as a part of his self worth is tied to being chosen, even if we know that being chosen is not what it seems, hes willing to endanger himself if it means finding out more with his curiousity overpowering the risk factor. i wonder if the outcome of it all will be the same because that would be very very interesting.

either way the tighter nature of tmagp seems to work well for it and i hope that the momentum continues till it's conclusion, and even if not I had a decent time with it so it still would have been worth it

#aster.txt #the magnus archives #tma #the magnus protocol #tma spoilers #tmagp spoilers #meta #fandom meta #critical #tmagp theory

[cogmented]

hey wsg cockmented! what are your tips on colours poses and shit

Hello Hist Histo Gold Historix . this is a really hard quesitons

im not very good at tips and tricks but here's what i do:

fiurst i really like pinterest here's my 2000+ pin board for art inspiration

for colors there are some things that seem right according to the Cogmented Guidelines which is just tone, atmosphere, feeling, balling, ETC...

out of the three art classes ive taken in my life all of which were in my most recent school years has been in charcoal, so a lot of what i pick is based on values too: ill turn the canvas black and white using hue blending mode, or take a picture on my phone and turn it black and white for real life things

my main goal for character pieces is to make the focus stand out but also be cohesive with the background, so ill use different values to differentiate those if colors are similar. red is much darker than yellow, even at the highest saturation, u get it. the rest is just using opposites on the color wheel

i also tend to use blending modes.. usually around 2-3 layers?

these are my base colors

kinda hard to distinguish zam in the values, yeah? and planet's shoes are far too bright, i want planets face and arms and closed fists to be their focus

i use a wide variety of the blending modes, but here both of these worked to darken the characters while increasing their saturation

the similar qualities on the characters make them cohesive with each other despite the wildly different designs and colors.. this could also just be a "style" thing that makes it cohesive but that gets more into shapes and how i draw and i dont think i could even explain that

there's also just general inspirations.. i chose a light blue background for this probably because i was subconsciously inspired by an 8 year old pmv of hawkfrost and ivypool by m0zarts using the song that is in the caption (personal by stars) AND because it's a softer color outside of planet's intense pinks and zam's yellows

this is called like triadic color palette i think i cant remember

there are always exceptions to rules and based on the atmosphere i will make the character blend in more e.g.:

for poses jii dont know i have visions in my head AND pinterest boards: 1 2

a lot of my art is expressive through poses instead of expressions because most of my designs dont have the capabilities for human expression; you're left with actions and body language (im also mad alexithymic so that's probably another reason why)

ignoring general atmosphere and art style, both are big movements but hold very different emotions ^_^ sharp and angry and desperate vs gay and carefree

the use of perspective further helps the emotions within poses, lower views make a character more intimidating, etc etc you get it for sure.

if you want to go hard on perspective, colors/lighting, and composition i highly recommend taking a film class or course or watching a video idk or something related to media-making.. drawing and film are very similar especially in regards to things like storyboarding.. the rule of thirds and camera angles that depict feeling are soo helpful to have in the back of your mind shoutout my one film and media class from 7th grade

ok thx for watching

#cogtalks #answered #historixally-accurate #long post

[moodymisty]

Hi! Anon that wrote the huge ask about the yandere Night Lord (and implied yandere Salamander) scenario (the one with the in between pink coloured words), Ive been having thoughts about it again. And you know, the whole Knight fighting a Dragon dynamic becomes really funny when you think about how narrative-wise, all space marines are dragons.

A space marines, just like dragons. Are big huge monstercreatures who (in most cases) randomly arrive into a settlement of innocent people and wreak havoc all over the place (destroying cities, killing innocents, probably stealing some stuff if its a xenos settlement, and so on and so forth). They’re powerful, clever, and very hard to kill. You must kill them nonetheless. But the only difference between them and dragons is that space marines are, theoretically, on your side. They’re humanised enough for you to overlook the atrocities they commit. They’re doing this because it will help out humanity in the long term, they’re doing this because their primarch said so, they’re doing this because they think its right. But in the end it all boils down to how they have no other option, or a better way of phrasing it: its all that they can do. They’re made to kill. They’ve been irreparably transformed into something horrible and theres no going back from that, and its not like they had any choice in the matter either. You could even say that this mirrors the trope of someone’s greed and ego being the cause of a dragon to appear in a story (that someone in question being The Emperor)

So i find it kind of funny that in this scenario the Salamander sees himself as a knight. Like babe! You’re no different from any other space marine!! The fact that his legion interacts with people more doesn’t change who he is. He has just convinced himself that what he is, is noble. Like he’s some sort of symbol of hope and strength instead of being a walking talking murder weapon. He’s a dragon thats been brought up to think his scales are chainmail and that his claws are swords, that he’s totally not like his traitorous cousins, that he’s humanity’s loyal house dog instead of a fire breathing beast chained to a leash.

Yes he is fighting to save you, yes he loves you more than words could ever express. But to an outsiders perspective this isn’t a brave hero battling a monster to save his beloved, its two serpents fighting over the most sparkling jewel in a treasure hoard

I vehemently adore all of this. Particularly the part about how they think of themselves; As from their view of the story, they're the hero, but another might view them as the villain. Forgive my unfiltered, unrevised ramblings.

It reminds me of a moment from (I believe it was Unremembered Empire? forgive me if I'm wrong) where the Night Lords are waging war on Macragge and the civilians are seeing other Astartes besides the Ultramarines in action for the first time and realizing that, holy shit, these guys are actually horrifying. And looking at their 'protectors' in a whole new light. The Ultramarines proclaim they're different because they choose to be, but we've seen before that even the friendliest of space marines can change their tune when they feel it appropriate.

But back on topic. Salamanders.

Something relevant would be that even their beloved might possibly view them as that brave hero, at first. But as time goes on, they might see cracks in that visage and realize that the man guarding them is more beast than man, holding back a near animalistic desire for carnage. We know that even the most loving of Salamander is more than capable of being an emotionless killer when he desires it. Hell, you could even say it's a core part of them; It's not like you can muzzle a dragon. You can at best point them in the direction you want them to go.

Your Salamander might spare you some of the goriest of details, or the darkest parts of him, but you can see the tail wrapped around you, and how you're kept so close not only because of your safety, but also because he sees you as his. You're the treasure he's found, you're the jewel that rests on top of a pile of gold, and you're not going anywhere. He always looks at you(his treasure) fondly, but there's a possessiveness in his eyes that only gets worse over time.

Other Salamanders are seen as threats and thieves if they get too close. He's the hero of this story, duty bound to protect you even if he has to get his hands bloody. It's all for a purpose, therefor he's leagues different than the Night Lords that act as his chapter's opposite.

If you ever have to do your job or duty, and interact with other Salamanders or other members of humanity he's always right there; Guarding his treasure. And while he might technically be on a leash, it's extremely taught.

#Misty's book club #can you tell i really like the symbolism of Astartes being referred to as animals? #being beasts bred for a purpose with little outside of it? free will having been taken? even while free their minds changed irreparably? #even if they're angels and above humanity you can't deny that their creation makes them only useful for one purpose and denies them a life #outside of it. even if they manage to break the leash the collar still stays with them forever #space marine x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #the yandere salamander saga

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Honestly? The most striking thing about the sideburns and other continuity errors isn't even how bizarre they are, how numerous or how they mostly seem like easily fixable things. It's Neil's non-answers! Except for the missing fifteen minutes in the Final Fifteen I don't believe he's outright called any of them continuity errors even when that's surely the simplest option. Of course, even odds he's doing it just to wind the fandom up, but that still leaves a fifty percent chance there might be a Reason. Or, if it is specifically to wind us up and make us chase our own tails, you could argue that makes it a red herring. In which case, what Clues are the continuity errors meant to distract us from?

hey anon!!!✨ okay so here's where im just basically going to talk about good omens in general, both seasons, because honestly? im completely with you, and i think that rationale is bang on the money. its the whole reason why i try to look at outside, sometimes blatantly in a different direction, to what the show (ignoring the book for a hot minute) is telling us.

s2 in particular, but i'll include s1 slightly, feels like it really leans into misdirection as a narrative technique - the red herring. as you rightly pointed out, we have the baby swap/three card monte in s1. we have three cowrie shells in s2. we have the goats hidden as crows, where (by my count) you see two, possibly three, flying off in the background behind crowley. we have the three children hidden as lizards (lots of threes which is interesting but not my Point rn). the bullet catch. aziraphale distracting furfur with the envelope whilst he hides the photograph up his sleeve. probably others that ive forgotten.

so, suffice to say, it's a fairly major part of the story, and this is where i come to my point; in my opinion, tricks are being played on us as the audience, and we ourselves are being led by misdirection. now, im sure some of these may turn out to be true, but the below are a couple of examples of things from s2 specifically that have been spoonfed to us, and therefore - i think - are not 100%, if at all, true:

crowley was a high-ranking angel/archangel

maggie is a demon because she misspelt 'urgency'

the book of life is a book, and has the ability to erase existence

the 25-lazarii miracle was successful in hiding gabriel, or was as powerful as it was because aziraphale and crowley did it together simultaneously.

i've talked about all of them in various tags, so i won't go over them, but i think we need to consider that what we've been taking as read needs further evaluation. that's not to say that one or multiple could in fact be the truth - there is, after all, the actual money card in three card monte - but im hesitant to put a guess on which one is the case.

but this does kinda come back to the batshit time travel theory - does the magic trick extend that far? or, at the very least, what is the trick being played by the varying hair length/sideburns/glasses change, if we accept that they're not factors external to the narrative? if they're deliberate, in-story choices, what is it telling us? there's the speculation that the flashbacks in s2 are skewed because they're all told from aziraphale's perspective - is possibly the case for the entire season? does that explain the colour grading?

personally, i think we're seeing more red herrings than we realise!!!✨

#good omens #ask #not really a post about anything but is relevant to Everything #s2 meta #s3 narrative spec

[gothhabiba]

hi! sorry to bother and if you've answered this before. of course, you dont have to answer this. you mentioned in one post that you were still learning Darija and also your posts on scolarship are very interesting. ive been trying for a while to learn my dad's language since i didn't grew up speaking it, but have always been interested in persian literature and the evolution of the language so this has been a difficulty for me. i was wondering if you have any tips on improving the way a language is learned, since you're amazing at explaining things and making even complicated subjects clear.

Thank you and have a nice weekend!

Thanks for the compliment!

I don't think that I have anything like my own original foolproof method for learning languages; this is the first language I've self-taught for which there aren't a lot of materials, and everyone learns differently. Here's what I've been doing & what I can broadly recommend when learning a language for which there isn't an enormous amount of teaching material:

Be specific about what it is that you want to do in the language. Chop this up into small sections. So, instead of "I want to learn [language]" (an enormous, vague, impossible task—even native speakers do not know 100% of their languages), think "I want to be able to understand recipes," or "go to the market or a restaurant," or "make small talk and general conversation," or "text friends and family," or "read literature," or "read theory" (and for those last two goals you might have a waypoint goal of "read storybooks" or "read materials intended for language-learners or children").

I began by learning the Arabic script (resources for this abound, and the abjads used for Persian and Darija only add a few characters), and I always write Darija in this script (even though most people write it in the Latin script) to get practice.

I also learned the standard phonology at this point. But the phonology for Persian and Darija are different and involve fewer consonants than Arabic, since some of them have merged, so you won't need to worry about the Standard or Classic pronunciaton of some of the letters. The Wikipedia page for Persian phonology should be a good resource; the IPA symbols for various sounds are noted, and they have explanations of how the sounds are produced and playback that you can listen to. Note that there are obviously regional variations in phonology, but this is a good start. This is a script with a pretty standard orthography, so at this point you can theoretically pronounce any word you read (with diacritics).

cut for length:

I took inspiration from how I had been taught French and divided information up into "units" (first greetings and introductions; then numbers and colours; then telling time; then time including days of the week and months of the year, words for "today" and "yesterday" &c.; the weather; family; then personal pronouns "I" "you" "me" &c. and the verb "to have" to begin forming simple sentences such as "I have three sisters" or whatever—you'd also want to learn "to be" at this point, but Darija doesn't often use it—then I decided that my first priority after very basic conversation was cooking, so I learned terms for food items and cooking verbs).

If you can find online resources or textbooks that will teach you things in units of this type, all the better (I got started on speakmoroccan.com). If you can't, try following an online course or textbook for learning another common language (such as French, German, Spanish, English) but substitute out the vocabulary terms by using a dictionary (for Darija I used tajinequiparle).

You may be able to find some materials (at least greetings, introductions, numbers and the like) on YouTube—I recommend using these even if you can find these same terms elsewhere, to get practice listening to the language.

I feel that I learn best from textbooks and by understanding the syntax and grammar of sentences in depth. However, the materials I've consulted for Darija (and there aren't too many materials in existence) tend to give lists of words but no grammar, or example sentences that are translated in full with no explanation. Even materials that do go into the grammar (such as the Lonely Planet phrasebook) are targeted at tourists and do so with an ethos of "good enough" that may fudge the details to make them more similar to French (which is the language the book is in). So I write down and compile example sentences that I come across (there's an English/Darija dataset already in existence to help with this kind of thing) and compare them to each other to determine which word means what, which affix might be the marker for past tense or infinitive or the object pronoun or whatever, and write down my guesses to test as I go. This may be more difficult without an education in linguistics, but probably not impossible.

I separate my studying into two phases, which I go back and forth between: creating study materials, and learning from those materials. Creating study materials means finding words and writing them down in my little book, figuring out grammar and writing out the rules, writing down example sentences, and making flashcards to learn vocabulary terms (with one or more example sentences on each one).

Studying from those materials involves running through the flashcards and coming up with new example sentences for each term (so I see the side of the flashcard with the English "banana" and come up with a sentence in Darija that's something like "they have eight yellow bananas"). You could also have flashcards separated by category (pronouns / numbers / verbs / nouns / adjectives) and pick a flashcard at random from a few categories (the selection "I" / "sixteen" / "want" / "new" / "oranges" prompts you to construct and speak the sentence "I want sixteen new oranges" in your target language); this is basically analogue duolingo.

As you go about your day, name objects and colours you see and talk to yourself about actions you undertake; try to 'translate' as many thoughts as you can into your target language.

You can also construct dialogues or short compositions at the end of each "unit" you finish. Write a dialogue between two friends greeting each other after not having seen each other for a while. Write a composition about your family members; explain how they're related to you, what they look like, &c. Look up any vocabulary that you notice you're missing.

Once you have a decent vocabulary base, you'll be able to start reading. If you can find writing that's intended for children or language learners, that's great! There may also be fora or message boards online devoted to conversation in your target language. If you can find a dictionary from the target language to a language you understand, this becomes a lot easier—unfortunately I haven't found one for Darija (the lack of a standardised orthography would probably make one difficult to make). Persian has a history of being written that Darija doesn't, so you may have more luck on this score than I did.

I have an "index" in the back of my little book with abbreviations for each of the sources that I get vocabulary from, and I use these abbreviations to take note of where I got sentences, phrases, and vocabulary terms from (whether dictionaries, textbooks, youtube, online courses, online fora, reddit, academic / linguistic articles, &c.). This is so that I can return to these sources and verify what I've written down, just in case; and also because different vocabulary terms are used in different regions, so it's a good idea to have a way to look up who uses which terms.

If I come across anything by serendipity (whether in an academic article about some sociological aspect of Darija, or in the dictionary I've been using, since there's no complete words list that I can find so serendipity is the only way to discover some of the words that are in it), I write it down then and there regardless of how useful I think it will be to me immediately. This is because I have no way of knowing whether I'll ever come across it again! I don't need to memorise it right away, but maybe I'll want to learn it later.

I don't think this will help you, but for some minority languages or dialects there may be a colonial language other than English in which materials for that language are easier to access (for example, I tend to search for Darija resources in French, not English).

#Anonymous #questions #Darijaposting

[ceilidho]

Hey! I think youre an amazing writer and i really look up to you. Ive been reading your works since reylo, you inspired me to write my own reylo stuff. I think youre wonderful and could read your works over and over again. I was just wondering if I could ask you advice. I'm trying to get into writing second person pov fanfic, but I'm terrible at it. I can write it from third person or first person no problem. I was wondering if you had any tips.

oh thank you, i really appreciate that!!! and im so glad you're giving writing a shot!! honestly it's so tough to actually make the decision to sit down and write something and then show it to other people (and it's very scary and kind of humbling as you get better and better and look back at your old work haha) so that's so awesome!!

i actually wrote so much beneath this so i needed the "read more" lmaooo

actually, i'll tell you what, when you first transition from writing 1st or 3rd person to writing in 2nd person, it feels weird and abnormal, but i've actually grown to love 2nd pov. i just love the way it sounds in my head when i'm constructing a sentence. and tbh there's actually not a huge difference from writing 1st and 2nd pov in my opinion.

like my general thoughts around 2nd pov are:

obviously since it's an internal dialogue (like the perspective is rooted in the person you're writing from rather than some omniscient 3rd pov), while you can still describe what's happening on the main character's face ("you purse your lips" "you frown, annoyed" etc), it's still coming from their perspective, so there's a level of depth there that other characters around them don't have. like Price in my western fic is a bit more mysterious on account of him not being a narrator figure in the story.

if you're using 2nd pov because you're writing an x reader fic, and you want to keep your reader character quite neutral, ensure that you're avoiding big descriptors like skin colour, hair texture/length, body size (unless you're specifically writing a fat reader or a reader with a specific body type, in which case, go wild!), height, etc. your reader character is never going to be 100% neutral, but just pay attention to any descriptors you add and you can make sure they're as neutral as can be.

this is probably obvious, but you don't have to start every sentence with "you did x" or "you said y" or whatever. you can still be loose and flexible with your sentences like you might be in a 3rd person narration. like, i'll take apart a paragraph from my fic and highlight where i've added the "you/your" pov:

The worry making your body tense and stiff finally releases once you’re alone. You curl up on the bed without pulling down the sheets or taking your dress off. The journey's left you weak, sapped of energy. Worn down to your base elements. Hardly unexpected after what you’ve gone through, after leaving behind a cooling body two states away. The days since have left you sick with worry, nerves shot when you consider how the authorities will look to you first, the maid, and find in your absence all the answers they need. 

notice that i only started one sentence with "you" here. i think some people mistake using 2nd pov for thinking that the entire story/fic has to be a direct narration of what the character is doing (i.e. "you walk to the end of the hall and then you sit down. you notice a silver bullet on the table near you. you pick it up.") but that's not the case.

the narration is coming from this character, yes, but it's also still a story. this is hard to describe, but there's almost a weird, unconscious 3rd pov in the story at the same time, like you're looking down at this narrator and you're speaking through them, but you still have some externality. in order to tell an evocative, interesting story, you HAVE to know and notice at least a bit more than your narrator consciously does.

this kind of mirrors real life in a way actually because your brain picks up a lot of information that you as a person don't consciously absorb. it's why humans are able to have quick reflexes and dodge/duck things or whatever without realizing what they're doing. (look up "unconscious perception"). you can do this with 1st pov as well, but 1st pov is very useful for stream of consciousness stories or really getting into a character's head. 2nd pov is still governed by that narrator character, but it's picking up on other details and information in the surrounding environment.

anyway i hope this is in any way helpful haha - it's how i like to think of writing in 2nd pov!

[worflesbian]

right okay i dont know exactly how persistent an issue this is bc i almost never go into the tags on this website, but even ive noticed this happening so i feel like that’s justification to make a post about it. the whitewashing of julian bashir as an established Thing not just in the fandom but in official merch has been discussed before, but recently i’ve noticed the inverse happening with martok and b’elanna, a white character and a lighter latina character who people seem to often draw darker than they are in canon. and there’s like. a Lot going on there to unpack.

so this video goes into some detail about the racism baked into the origins and design of the klingons in tos, it’s very informative about the anti-asian stereotypes especially in a 60s context but i feel like it doesnt really cover the way that antiblackness becomes a more significant factor in the next gen era so like. if you didn’t know, the majority of the klingon characters in the next gen-ds9-voyager era are either played by actors with dark skin or Very frequently by white actors in heavy dark makeup. if you look up the actors of grilka, alexander, kehleyr, and sirella for example you’ll see what im talking about like the difference is Stark and these are some of the main recurring klingons across both shows. hopefully i do not need to explain why packing white actors in brown makeup to play members of a species characterised as violent, warlike and animalistic is racist. i say hopefully bc who knows with this website. anyway i’d recommend this video for a wider context on the legacy of blackface in tv!

martok is a rare example of a klingon played by a white actor who, as far as i can tell, does not have his skin significantly darkened. so to see him frequently being drawn with darker skin is uh Slightly Concerning given everything in the previous paragraph! ive even seen art where he’s drawn darker than julian in the same post which... anyway im not trying to blanket condemn reinterpreting the design of alien characters in fanart, but i am asking white fans like myself in particular to think critically as to why, out of all the white characters and aliens on ds9, martok is the one you want to do that with.

because b’elanna is not a white character i think its a slightly different situation, but at the same time she does have lighter skin and i have seen fanart of her drawn much much darker and once again, im not condeming it especially in works ive seen which explore the relationship bewteen her latina and klingon identities, but its something white fans need to handle carefully. in the voyager episode Faces where she gets split into a human and klingon version of her (dont have time to unpack all that) you can see the difference in undertones between human b’elanna and klingon b’elanna (also included a pic of regular b’elanna for reference). the brown makeup is obvious here too and if you can see why it might be racist to attribute a person’s rage and violent impulses to a part of themself that is then personified as darker skinned/more brown, then you might also see some of the wider problems going on here and can understand that this is something that demands a lot of thought and consideration.

i’d like to reiterate that this is a very complex and nuanced issue, especially considering the intersection of fictional race within the setting and the racial biases operating behind the scenes/metatextually, and i’d love to discuss it more (and to cite better sources than youtube videos when i have the time). but for now i’d just like to say yeah just ask yourself what the implications might be to drawing these characters in particular darker than they are in canon, especially if theyre the only characters you do that for, or you’re intentionally contrasting them with other characters (e.g. b/7 fanart) or yk. drawing a white character darker than a character of colour like ive seen people do with julian and martok.

#disclaimer that i am a white european and if anything ive said here has been not my place to discuss i would be so grateful to be made aware #but like. i see a lot of this and while some of it is definitely like intentionally engaging with this aspect of the text conscientiously #a lot of it clearly comes from people thinking klingon = dark skin and not bothering to unpack Why thats been established #sorry anyway. #long post #star trek #tlhIngan #ghItlhpu'wIj

[barb-l]

Yeees totally! With Enid probably picking stores strategically beforehand because she knows Wednesday can only take so much before her social batteries run out for the day. She's also totally buying her something other than black and white.. maybe in a beautiful dark blue colour and for whatever, whatever reason Wednesday will be compelled to wear it (when they are alone.) Oh no.. I have way too much thoughts and feelings about them.

Ohh I will be ecstatic about anything you decide to write for them. I loved your first fic tons, it's so very well-written! 😊

Oh dark blue could work. Pretty sure that's what she was wearing in Addams Family Values.

Aww thanks! I'm actually working on a summer break fic rn, but i've been hesitant to keep going cuz ive been considering just waiting to watch the show first cuz i wanna know what Enid's family/pack is like by the end of the show. I'll probably be changing a ton of stuff, or just scrap the whole thing altogether, after i've watched the show, so let me just post what i have so far here:

(sorry im on my mobile and can't put it under read more)

💀💀💀💀💀💀

Enid didn't really expect anything when she gave Wednesday her number. For one, Wednesday didn't have a phone and has sworn that she will never have one.

But just in case...

As, uh, rocky as their start was as roommates, Wednesday has grown on Enid. Like a mold. Maybe due to Stockholm Syndrome. Jury's still up as to how Wednesday feels about her. But after going up against a homicidal monster and rogue Nevermore student together, she likes to think that she has managed to go past being merely a thorn on Wednesday's side and dug her way to the other girl's shriveled, pea-sized heart.

So just before they leave Nevermore for the long-awaited summer break, she gave Wednesday her phone number to let her know that she can contact her if she ever gets sick of tormenting her brother and wants to bother Enid instead.

Wednesday raised a brow when she's handed the piece of paper with Enid's digits and sceptically looked at her. "Why?"

Enid didn't expect Wednesday to ask at the time. Truthfully she expected her to wordlessly throw it away and was prepared for another bout of back and forth squabble like they've always done. Maybe even tease her over how she's too much of an old lady on the inside to even figure out how to use a phone anyway. It was fun. What's not fun is admitting that she will miss her. She didn't prepare to be asked why.

"I don't know," is what Enid ended up saying. "Just..." She shrugged, turned away from Wednesday's calculating gaze to finish zipping up her bag. "I don't know."

"Hm."

Enid didn't like that reaction. Like Wednesday just caught her doing something embarrassing. So she took her bag, gave Wednesday a saccharinely fake smile, and said, "See ya, weirdo!" before running away with her tail tucked between her legs.

----

Enid spends the first two weeks of summer break agonizing over how humiliating that was. Who gives their number to a girl who doesn't even have a phone? Desperate idiots, that's who.

If Wednesday knew how much Enid was suffering just thinking about her, she'd be smiling in satisfaction.

...and now Enid has started thinking about Wednesday's smile, wicked as it may be, and has buried her face in her pillow. This time she's suffering for different, more embarrassing reasons.

She didn't expect anything, honest to god, so when she receives a notification one day for a text from an unknown number, she couldn't believe her eyes.

Greetings, Enid Sinclair, it reads.

Against my better judgement, I have gone and acquired a phone. I still maintain the belief that they are unnecessary and annoying, but you were, regrettably, right. Lighting Pugsley up in the good ol' electric chair has not been the same since Nevermore.

Perhaps it's due to everything else that we have gone through the whole semester. Monsters and what-not can't compare.

Though money has never been an issue to an Addams, I expect that you will make my purchase worthwhile by granting me amusement. Go ahead, regale me of your woes spending school break locked in a whole different kind of prison with your family. I don't expect it to be any worse of a time than I have had, but I haven't lost hope.

Forever in darkness,

Wednesday Addams

Enid rolls her eyes when she finishes reading the absurdly long text, but there's a smile she can't contain when she fondly mutters, "So edgy."

She doesn't reply right away. Mostly because she doesn't know what to say, and also because she spent a good fifteen minutes just re-reading the message, giggling over the mental image of Wednesday going to the mall and buying a phone, all for her.

... Well, maybe not, but Enid doesn't have enough self-control in her to deny a hungry ego.

She knows that the text has been shown as read on Wednesday's end by know, but she pays it no mind. With all the torture having Wednesday on her mind has brought her, she deserves to do it back.

After spending much too long of her time erasing and retyping, she finally replies.

u dont have to sign n write texts like letters yunno. U can just talk like normal

Enid once again laughs when she sees that her text was immediately read. Wednesday spends two minutes conjuring up a reply, and Enid spends the whole time watching the dots on the the bubble move as she lies in bed.

Eventually, Wednesday sends a reply.

Your spelling is atrocious.

Enid wonders if Wednesday would get offended if she tells her how often she has made her laugh.

That's more like it, Enid texts in return.

#asks #Wednesday Netflix #wenclair #itd be such a shame if i end up not officially posting this on ao3 after the show is released #so let me put this out here #if nothing in canon retcons it ill make it longer #my fic #or well #draft of a fic #long post

[swordmaid]

How does procreate compare to sai for you out of curiosity ?

I’m kind of 50/50 about it.. like once you’re more familiar with the UI and how everything generally works it’s super straightforward which I appreciate! the whole brush customisation aspect is a bit overwhelming for me since im just used to fiddling with a few settings then running with it but now there’s a whole customisation bar so you can get it to exactly what you’re looking for …. which is nice in itself but for me who has like .. virtually no clue on what she’s doing or what any of these means im just ????? 😭 but downloading custom brush packs is so easy too so im not gonna bother with that for now lol

drawing on glass is still a bit tricky for me too it feels like im constantly fighting for grip if that makes sense. I think im still used to how my tablet draws bc the stylus’ nib was a bit sharper compared to the apple pencil’s but it did left scratches on the tablet itself lol. I also like how easy it is to adjust the canvas sizes since you’re just dragging it (compared to sai where you have to type in the exact dimensions) but I also don’t like how they’ll give you less layers the bigger your canvas is 🥲 like I generally work on 3000 x3000 and I’d like more than 100 layers alas

ONE THING that im severely missing is sai’s marker tool though, specifically the marker tool with my own config. like that’s literally my bread and butter and i use that pen in virtually everything - both lineart and colouring. imo that brush gives my prev drawings that soft looking feel (if that makes sense??? idk) but it also doesn’t have that drag that procreate brushes tend to have. like ive been trying to replicate it in procreate or at least find one that feels similar but I haven’t had any luck so far 😭🥲

all in all I do like it better than photoshop or even krita, but I think im just so used to working on sai that I still prefer it, esp since that has the marker brush (my beloved). my opinion will prob change once i do actual illustrations on it though since I haven’t done a fully rendered piece yet and i want to see how I’ll adjust my workflow with the layer constraints. i do like the fact that there’s no colour differences though since the ipad screen is really nice so you don’t have to worry about colours looking different in diff screens

#I also don’t like how you can’t use clipping mask on groups 😭😭 #like that’s what made shading easier in sai but now u have to merge everything to be able to do that sigh #i do like the convenience tho!!!! like my ass is really drawing everywheee and it’s SO easy to just boot procreate up and draw #so that’s a win for me specifically lol

[vivian-at-home]

OOTD

tldr: pushing boundaries, did some shopping for cheap chic, and thanking friends

I am really pushing boundaries lately with some androgynous bits here and some outright girly bits there. I am also growing my hair out, and I'm going to get one of those laser things because research tells me that's the way to go. I am trying to get a referral to the clinic from my doctor because the last time it got derailed by COVID.

I am daring to do things I never would before; like shopping openly in the ladies department, keeping my nails painted, wearing pinks and pastels and neutrals, more form fitting clothing. Nothing exotic at all, just exactly what other ladies my age wear (assuming they still have a body as hot as mine lol). Nice tight butt lifting jeans, Doc Marten boots and other androgynous shoes like grey slip on runners, henley shirts, anything girly I can get away with. I have a couple of new skirts coming and I can't wait to try them out, I also got a couple of new pushup bras that nothing is gonna hide that I might have to wait to try out lol, unless it's under a winter coat or baggy hoodie 😳 Trying to conciously wear a bra every day, even to work. Gradually replacing all my boxer briefs with those ridiculously comfy and flattering boy shorts, wearing the standard black and white check coat with poofy hoodies, my pink camo beanie for the coming cold, etc. I am just wearing what I want to wear, and if that's a pearl necklace and LBD with leggings, that's what I am wearing. 🌈

Please consider I'm not 'out' to any extant at all (just to my siblings and mother and a couple friends), but I have found that pretty much no matter where I go, no one really bats an eye, so I just keep pushing those edges. Even in my former male life I was a bit of a fashion whore, always trying new styles but trying to be classy and elegant, so now as a woman, with the massive range of stylish colourful comfortable flattering and yes sexy clothing to choose from, I am an artist with a whole new pallette. Or maybe a kid in a candy store lol.

I am also well aware that I might be a lot more out than I think at work, and no one said anything, I mean girls notice things just as much as guys do, but it doesn't exactly frighten me to push edges when no one says anything amiright. Some girls look at me funny now though, not a bad thing, they smile differently, something I have noticed that is really distinctive . . . 🤭 girls that never talked to me, especially younger ones, now do . . . it's still fearful baby steps though, but HRT is the moving walkway, and I am very close

I really need to learn how to do makeup better, and maybe not walk like a guy with places to go, rather more like a window shopping lady; and a few other things, but I guess what I am trying to say is that I am doing what my mother always taught me, to have the courage of my convictions. Some might say I am far too old, or worse yet a pretender, and it shames me to say I sometimes feel that way because I didn't pursue this long ago when I realized who I am, but I am proud of who I am today, and excited about where I am going, and dressing the part in public is now becoming an important part of that. I am nowhere near as far along as many people here, not even on HRT and not even close to living life as a woman, but one day soon . . . . I'm just so tired of living like people expect me to rather than how I want to portray myself. 💪 So damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead . . .

I want to thank all the friends here who have encouraged and inspired me to be my true self, your support and bravery means more than you know ❤ @crossdresserica @beingjamielynn @gymbunnycandiehart @livemyalter @becoming-who-ive-always-been @gladtobeagirl @jonextsteps @cd-christamae @cd-sherri

#transisbeautiful #trans positivity #be true to yourself

[rikebe]

hii if you're still accepting asks about the akihiro x bobby ship meme, could you explain in detail the trust/jealousy/etc scales? also is bobby canonically 5'4" bc 😳❤

I WISH BOBBY WAS THAT SHORT IN CANON </3 unfortunately that's just my hc bc i'm so much smarter and chaddier than all of marvel :/

BUT here's the scales!

bobby:

trust: i def see bobby as having a bit of a cynical streak, so i think he takes a while to warm up to trusting. he has a way of internalizing shit and overthinking and is very neurotic, and i think he can absolutely overthink himself into mistrusting his partner on a wrong day even if he knows he's being irrational :(

jealousy: pretty much the same thing, plus i think growing up as the baby-faced dweeby kid of the x-men doesn't really give you a huge amount of self-confidence. i think he can really struggle w seeing himself as like, hot enough or good enough and project that on other people through jealousy, especially if he has such an objectively sexy partner as akihiro. again i think this is something where he'd KNOW he's being unreasonable but he can't help feeling that way

horny: LISTEN. YES he dresses like the assistant manager of a gamestop. YES he's a boring account. but i know. when i look into that unassuming, boring little face of him i know he's a horndog. if he wasn't he wouldn't have fucking bothered with the little song and dance akihiro and him have, because let's be real, akihiro's a pretty big shithead to him consistently and still bobby's like teehee! let's waltz! teehee! oh no let me kiss that death seed away teehee! that's classic horny for villain behavior. you can't hide behind those cargo shorts, bobby drake. i know what you are.

clingy: to me he's a pretty big relationship guy and is really attached to his partner, which is great if you're on mutual terms but i think can come off as pretty clingy if the other guy's looking for something a little more casual lol. def the type to keep texting a few times after getting ghosted before he gets the hint. oops

akihiro:

trust: BIG HUGE MAJOR trust issues. this guy spent his entire adult life seeing interpersonal relationships as entirely transactional and only started getting into this "unconditional love and trust" shit like five years ago. it's a learning curve. he's the guy in a sitcom who thinks their partner is cheating and starts stalking them

jealousy: see trust. same thing. if some guy is talking to bobby at a bar akihiro WILL stand menacingly close by and then be really annoying about mentioning that thats his BOYFRIEND and they're DATING. the guy asked bobby for the time

horny: controversial BUT: i don't think akihiro is very horny. he's been shown since his first appearance to be very liberal about sex, but in almost all instances these interactions are about control and power. akihiro uses his inherent appeal and other people's attraction to him to get what he wants in his never-ending ploy for power and evil-doing. to him, sex is transactional, it's just something he does just like he lies and pretends to be something he's not. ive seen some interpretations of him as asexual, which i think is really interesting and cool and a great take! i don't know where exactly on that spectrum i see him, i think he does enjoy sex but it would be a really different thing for him to sleep with someone he actually cares about, to the point where i could see it causing whiplash when he's being shy about it all of a sudden :')

clingy: i put him pretty high on the "needs attention" scale which i explained in another post, but i don't really see him being all that clingy. i think i might have coloured it in a little high here even since i think it's a hard thing to define, but basically i think that IN a relationship he would be a little clingy and want to be around his partner a lot, once he gets to a point where he can comfortably express those feelings, but he would never run after someone or try to cling to a partner that's dumped him. he thinks too highly of himself to debase himself by showing that he cares about another human being. this is about SAVING FACE, damn it

#i love talking about these two so much you guys. its so much fun #darkice #bobby drake #daken akihiro

[manonamora-if]

ive been looking at the ifcomp and i think im gonna do it. any advice for a firsttimer? what should i expect? what was your experience?

Hi Anon!

First of all, congrats on taking the leap! I know it can be quite daunting to participate in one of the biggest and oldest IF Competition there is currently. Takes quite a bit of guts to do it! Yay, you!

Suuuper long ask answer because you asked questions requiring long answers, where I probably repeated myself multiple times.

IFComp Advice

What to expect?

What was my experience?

TLDR: it's hard but also fun. Def recommend at one point (unless ranking makes you go blerg... then do the SpringThing or an unranked game jam).

IFComp Advice

I do have some advice for you, especially if you are planning on submitting a game to the IFComp this year, which is less than a month away:

Be Ready for your work to be judged and reviewed by people. Some will be harsh, some will be kind, most will be fair. If you are not fully open to criticism, especially negative one, the voting period will sting like hell. It is also fine not to read any review or comment about your entry, but a head's up is important.

Be prepared to rank low. If you follow the advice below, you probably won't end up last place. But the competition is stiff. Authors often spend a year or two on their entries before they submit. If you know you can't handle rankings, go for the SpringThing instead. More chill.

Submit your intent to participate NOW! The deadline is Sept 1st, but it's easy to put it off and forget. And intent to participate doesn't mean you have to submit something. You can back out at any moment (even during the voting period).

Check the rules and timeline of the comp (@ifcomp). You don't want to disqualify yourself by mistake...

Keep it short: 15 to 30 min of gameplay. There is less than one month left, and you want plenty of time to make sure your entry is as polish as possible! I took 3 months last time and it was a buggy mess on Day 1 of the voting period.

Use a program you know, or a simple one with good documentation or guides. You might have time in a month to learn how to use a complex program, but I wouldn't recommend it. List at the end.

Create something simple but airtight. You are racing against time. Shooting for the moon with something complex could work, or it could land you in the bottom. Usually, it is best to create a game which is doing little, but doing it very well, than submitting a behemoth that can't even do its core gameplay loop right every time (dissing myself, yes). Sam Ashwell has some good article for choice-based, Emily Short for parser puzzles.

Your prose should have as little grammar mistakes as possible. Pass your text through as many grammar checkers, and maybe some human testers (beta). The more eyes you have on it, the better. Hate to say it but, avoid word crimes there...

Have some impactful interactivity, that makes sense with the story. Puzzle, branching of variation, etc... Even if all of it is fake, and you are pushing the player through a linear story, the player shouldn't feel like they are just flipping pages of a book. I am not talking about the quantity, but the quality of the interactivity. Emily Short has some great article about that stuff.

Don't have bugs. Should be obvious, but you know... I didn't follow that one and got (rightly) roasted for it in the reviews. Test your game (and have people test your game) A LOT.

Style your project a little bit (if possible). It doesn't have to be fancy, but as simple as changing the colour of the background and the text, maybe the font of the text as well (!!! it should still be readable) can go a long way. Also appreciated but never mandatory: different formatting for different bits of text, some animation in the text, having images, having audio, having accessibility settings (theme, font, visual, audio)... Again, those are pointers. Leave this for last.

Credit where credit is due. Code, assets, beta-tester, etc... anything you did not make from scratch, or anyone helping you along the way, should be added in a credit page. Also credit yourself for what you did :P you deserve to show off your efforts!

Test your game relentlessly. Yes it bares repeating, I've done that mistake. Don't be me. Test your stuff again. Have people break your game.

Edit your submission page with care. Have a grabbing hook for your synopsis, an eye catching image, and any relevant documents the players would need (i.e. walkthrough). DON'T FORGET TO ADD A WAY FOR PLAYER REACH YOU FOR BUGS!

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Have fun! If you have fun making your entry, it will show in the writing and how the game is constructed.

Hypertext/Choice-based: Twine (Harlowe, SugarCube), Ink/Inklewriter, Moiki, ChoiceScript Parser: Adventuron

Oh... and good luck. You'll need it :P

If you are thinking of next year instead, most of these advice applies. You can just rule out the intent submission for now, the length of the game (1h gameplay is usually the sweet spot), and the program to use (though take one you understand). The rest could work for any comp honestly.

What to Expect?

The IFComp period in an exciting time where many people gather to play games and talk about them. Many people submit stuff yearly, sometimes with good results, sometimes it's atrocious. Sometimes, authors who haven't been seen in a while reappear to show off their labour of love or review other people's games. It can be very intense and overwhelming if you are participating (author or player).

As an author, you should expect (not exhaustive):

deadline (intent/game/voting),

potentially getting comments for bugs (and having to update, which you are allowed to),

seeing reviews and discussions about your entry (mainly on the IntFiction Forum, but sometimes on blogs too): good stuff, negative stuff, and people missing the point entirely or having bad take, or takes you didn't think about.

seeing people rating your entry on the IFDB (rating =/= vote, but can be a flawed indicator)

feelings galore (good, bad, ugly, anxious), especially stressing about the results

having to remind yourself that no one can judge everything completely objectively (expect when it comes to bugs, it is or it isn't), and that people vote for what they like.

following the rules on the IFComp website

a special private group on the IntFiction forum to discuss with other authors when the voting period starts, as well as posting reviews,

maybe get a prize at the end? (depends on your placement)

Honestly, it can be pretty rough. This is not an easy competition. Most people have been working on those projects for months or years. Some have for just a few weeks, but their pieces can be out of this world. Only the organisers have an idea of who is competing ahead of time, and how competitive it could be from year to year (i.e. did big names come out or not).

While reviews and ratings can give you an indication of how your game is faring with players, you will not be able to know until the votes are actually out (case and point: me, thought I did much better than reality). Either way, it will be a surprise, good, bad, disappointing...

Speaking of reviewers, most will try to be as partial as possible and going into every entry with an open mind. But, there are harsh reviewers out there, as well as kind ones. It is not unusual to see blunt reviews, especially if something ticked the player (bugs usually).

But also, it's loads of fun! You have a bunch of very serious people debating on minor things, newcomers trying out the comp and sometimes even reaching the stars, oldcomers popping by for a cup promising they will review ever game and then disappearing after three, a lot of very very very good games to play, so many different perspectives on what if IF, and feeling like you have a voice in what should be crowned the best of the competition!

It's weird, it's serious, it's goofy...

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best... but most importantly, have some fun. And do what's best for your mental health!

What was my experience?

I think I've talked about it quite extensively in my Post-Mortem for The Thick Table Tavern. Read that before the end of this, for context.

And almost a year after this experience (on this day, I was frantically writing), I think my feelings have changed quite a bit. I went into the competition guns-blazing without understanding the importance of things (bugs/grammar especially) and thinking I had done the absolute most and breaking the genre, believed I did sooooo much better than any other entry, got very dramatic when the first non-positive reviews came in, and was about to throw my shit when I saw the 1s in the voting curve. I am only a bit over-exaggerating here.

I definitely deserved the placement I got. Don't misunderstand, I am incredibly proud of what I achieved there! But... there were major issues for sure. And I've come around to recognise those.

Those 1s-2s were warranted, those negative comments were warranted: the first version was buggy as hell (which I think was the version in the mass downloadable packet? and I updated the game like 20 times), there are still a bunch of issues with the prose (I learned my em dash lesson!), the pacing is aaaalll the way off (I thought I was being cheeky, but didn't always land)... This was something way different for the comp, maybe more experimental than people expected (I mean, who does a click-only bar for a text-based comp...)? But most importantly, while it looked polished, you just needed to play a few minutes to see the varnish crack...

To say the least, I got slapped back to reality. HARD. This was a mediocre good-looking game. Real pretty, big flaws. And that's ok (not putting myself down). Not every game can be winners (unless it's La Petite Mort or DOL-OS :P), not every game will work as intended. You can rack all the trophies all the times. Sometimes you're just at the bottom.

All this might sound hella negative, but I am incredibly grateful for this experience. I have learned so much about game creation, coding, writing, what to do and avoid... There are things I probably wouldn't have learned had I not participated (or not as early). I have created friendships (and rivalries /jk) and found a community where I feel comfortable being this experimental with my work (hey, it worked for DOL-OS!) and continuing breaking the codes. It's renewed my drive to create and do more: games, experiments, trying new program, but also for the community, helping out, creating guides and templates, giving advice...

And I've found a bit of love for reviewing stuff it turns out.

I've made my peace.

And I have plans for a new pretty weird game for a future IFComp ;) I will make people cringe again :P Hopefully not because of bugs!

Final sidenote: I am still not taking my advice. No one tested DOL-OS before it was submitted, and it won. But also, other games placed poorly... I am still speed-running through competitions (not the IFComp this time), and tripping all over all the time. I still submit thing thinking I'm the hottest stuff and that no one else will be better than me. Completely delusional here. Be better than me, for your sake.

#ifcomp #interactive fiction #experience #competition #tttt #the thick table tavern