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stardustgreta · 2 years

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sticky, sweet [e. munson]

song: "art deco" - lana del rey

summary: stiffling summer heat in hawkins, your bestfriends trailer.

warnings: smut!! 18+ only.. talk of drugs, and getting high. high sex, jealous eddie, brat reader (not for long), unprotected sex, creampie, name calling (like once), kind of sweet sex, soft eddie, praising, dirty talk, unestablished relationship.

word count: 3.2k

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

note: im sorry if this is like, not up to my usual standards i tried to throw something together because i havent posted in like god knows how long. forgive me if its like blah.. reblogs/likes and comments are greatly appreciated! <3

when i write for eddie munson, it will always be with THIS eddie munson in mind… i love him here

masterlist | taglist

the loud, prying sound of your thighs sticking and unsticking together through dried and newly forming sweat made you groan in constant uncomfort. the windows, doors and all possible fans had been opened and whirring throughout eddie’s stuffy trailer, the summer heat had been beating down especially hard on hawkins this summer. there was a comfortable silence between you both, eddie splayed across the couch in only his boxers and a cropped hellfire shirt, with you taking a spot on the floor with your limbs stretched out in an attempt to ease the pain of the succumbing heat, in nothing but a pair of the shortest denim shorts you could find and a top that could barely be classified as one. the tv had been playing some rerun of street hawk, a show eddie insisted was canceled far too early.

“can you change this? we’ve seen this episode twice already..” you spoke in a soft but blatantly annoyed voice, eddie unbothered as usual. he decided that ignoring you would be his best bet, instead opting for taking another drag of the blunt you had been passing back and forth.

with an eyebrow quirk, and a knowing smirk from eddie you lifted yourself up onto your elbows. eddie remained glued to the small, antenna run television in an attempt to feign ignorance.

there was an unspoken unconventional relationship between you and eddie, something not even the two of you were able to explicitly explain to anyone who asked if you two were more than friends. you and eddie had both been friends for years, and it was known amongst pretty much the entirety of the school the you were both exclusively “non-exclusive”. unfortunately, because of your identical, exponentially enormous egos – neither of you had built up enough courage to be outward about any of it. so instead, you both wordlessly decided that figuratively tangible sexual tension, longing looks, and almost too obvious touches would do for now.

maybe it was the almost suffocating heat, or maybe it was all of the pent up sexual frustation–but whatever it was, you weren’t going to let him off without a bit of teasing this time. pushing yourself up onto your palms, and bend your legs at the knees you turned to him again with a small grin.

“do you think steve harrington is a good fuck?”

and bingo, that is what finally gets him to look at you. is he..jealous? you don’t want to jump the gun just yet, so you’ll push him just a bit further to be sure.

“he just seems so manly, y’know? he must be good in bed..” stretching your legs out again to elongate your figure, you lift yourself up and over toward where eddie was on the couch, snatching the blunt from his hands and bringing it to your own mouth.

“you’re hogging.” you spoke between the spilling of smoke that fell from your lips.

“what do you think eds? do you think i should ask steve harrington to rock my world?” you spoke again after radio silence. with a neutral face and a sharp breath he sat up, letting his elbows indent his knees.

“i know what you’re doing, slut.” with a new fond look on his face and a shade of cloudy dark in his eyes, you knew you had struck a nerve.

“language, munson.” you inched closer this time, tossing one of your legs over his and waving a finger in his face, an act mimicking a teacher discipling a child. “that is no way to speak to a lady.”

“didn’t know i was in the presence of such importance.” you let your leg swing fully over him now, your thighs straddling his – trapping him where he sat. you let out a soft breath at the pressing feeling of him through his boxers, suddenly very aware of the situation you had both found yourselves in.

“eddie munson, are you..hard?” you stifled a chuckle, feeling the pads of his calloused fingers pressing tighter into your hips, the contrasting roughness of his fingers and the softness of your sheened skin making you dizzy.

“stop that.” he spoke breathlessly, your lips now mere centimeters apart. the room seemingly growing hotter, the stifling sticky feeling of your thighs on his and the small strands of hair sticking to his forehead. your hand moved to caress his cheek, sweeping some of said hair out of the way to get a clearer view of his face.

“are you turned on right now?” your lips sweeping together after every few words at your closeness, his chest expanding further out at his heavy breath.

“eddie-” finally deciding to shut you up, he smashed his lips to yours in a messy, sloppy kiss that perfectly mimicked your current situation. pulling away, embarrassingly leaving you in a heaving fit before you realized he had silently, wordlessly flipped the dynamic of your current state of affairs.

“do you really wanna know how good steve harrington is in bed.” he spoke between love bites to your chest, your hands finding solace behind his neck and entangled in his hair. “no,” you said with a breathy laugh, tilting your head to press another soft kiss to his lips, both of you knew that isn’t at all why you brought it up. “but i got the reaction i wanted, didn’t i?”

“you’re mean, sugar.” his teeth bit hard into your collarbone this time, eliciting a low strangled whimper. the blunt you had been sharing was thrown haphazardly onto the ground, and the buzz had only just begun to kick in for the both of you. finding his lips again–this time on your own accord–you let your tongue slip from your mouth to his, being hospitably welcomed by his own.

it would be harder to explain if this was yours and eddies first time having sex, but it wasn’t. with eddie it was simply too easy to fall back into each other at every possible chance you got, whether it was after he picked you up from cheer practice, or after you had been waiting hours for him to finish with hellfire–it always ended up the same, panting and heaving as you worked hard to regain a normal pattern of breathing. location never mattered, not to eddie anyway.

“mean to you?” you smirked, pressing your lips to his again in a soft, chaste kiss. “only when you’re bad.”

the two of you knew very well that eddie was and always would be the dominant one in whatever it is the two of you had classified yourselves as, but it was always fun for you to think you had a smidge of authority here and then.

with a squeal and a rapid change of position, eddie had you on your back, hitched between your now spread legs. the couch you had found yourselves on allowed little to no support so you sunk as soon as the pressing weight of both of you was applied to the cushions.

“fuck me on the floor, would you eds?” a shared laugh between you two as you wrapped your legs around his waist, bracing for the move. he lifted you up off the couch before easing you onto the floor, your skin still sticking together from the thin layer of sweat. the sudden harshness of the carpet made you wince only slightly.

he lowers himself toward your thighs, leaving wet kisses in a path from your mid inner thigh and up, approaching dangerously close to where you need him most. the high had begun to really set in now, his touch alone set your skin aflame on top of the sickening weather that filled the room.

“are you going to take my clothes off?” you say innocently, letting your hands roam freely around his back and shoulders, grasping for any area of skin you could.

“you’re a big girl, i think you can undress yourself.” he teased, he finally gave in after you pleaded with your usual, ‘please eds’ and inflating his ego more than you should’ve. eventually he would use his hands to undo the button of your shorts, but switching over to using his teeth to pull down the fabric far enough for you to kick them off yourself. your hands finding them hem of his shirt and pushing up, his arms shooting straight to aid in the removing of his shirt.

“nice panties.” eddie remarked with his index finger pulling forth the hem of the white cloth, decorated with a small pink bow and letting it snap against your skin. you let your hands cover his eyes while you both shared another soft, grounding laugh–reminding you both that despite everything, you were friends first. slowly, teasingly, he dipped both of his index fingers on either side of the cotton underwear and slipped them slowly down your thighs, his lips following them down to your ankles. just before you open your mouth to whine and complain, he lets his textured fingers find your swollen, desperate clit in a slow, thought out motion that sends you reeling.

“oh–eddie that feels..that feels so good.” to you it sounds elaborate and pronunciated, but in actuality it comes out as incoherent mumbles.

“i’ve hardly touched you, you think you’ll be okay?” he speaks half teasingly and half concerned. the still looming high that made your brain hazy and half functioning, mixed with the attentive, deliberate touch of eddies hands made you hardly coherent. but there was nothing more that you wanted then to go all the way, despite the inability to express it–so you offered a sweet toothless smile and a nod, your hands grasping onto his biceps with hope that he got the sign.

“should i take care of you first. how’s that sound?” he moved to pay close attention to your now screaming, aching pussy but you couldn’t stand waiting another minute for him to fill you the way you needed him to.

“nuh uh..not there” suddenly you find your voice, using both of your hands on either sides of his face to pull him up and into a deep, open mouthed kiss. “then where.. here?” he bites the skin at the side of your stomach, knowing that’s not what you mean.

“i need you, please honey.” the pet name rolling off of your tongue, eliciting a low groan from his chest, his head falling between the crook of your neck in a weak attempt to stop him from cumming in his pants at the word alone.

“so pretty..” he fawns, kissing the salty, sticky skin at your neck and letting his tongue soothe it over.

you helped push down his boxers with your hands at either side of his hips, pushing down the fabric as far as you could before pulling him further into your widened thighs. there was no need for further foreplay on his part, his cock painfully hard and leaking precum from his seemingly swollen tip. using this very part of him to stroke at your entrance, his cock in one hand and the other pressed just beside your forehead for balance.

“i’ll go slow, alright?” he spoke in your ear, his warm breath sending chills up and down your neck before meeting them with a soft kiss to your neck.

you can feel yourself take in a deep breath, anticipating the stretch. when he finally slips in just the head, you can feel your hands grasp at his bicep, gasps coming from both of you in unison. no matter how many times you find yourselves here, neither of you get used to the intoxicating feel. his eyes are screwed closed and his eyebrows knit together as he tries to hold himself together. you careen your hand toward his cheek, the other still digging into the meat of his arm as he sinks in further, inch by inch and you can’t help it when you let out another lengthy, drawn out moan and toss your head to the side.

“please eddie, please..” you press your lips to the shell of his ear, nibbling softly on his earlobe as you plead for god knows what. soon enough, he lifts his hips from where they stood indented into the bones of your own hips, and slowly but surely he begins pulling himself out just a bit, and pushing back into you with deliberate, slow thrusts that trigger your eyes to roll toward the back of your head. it isn’t until he lifts your hips just slightly to angle himself just perfectly toward your g spot that you’re able to make any coherent noises. but still, eddie is struggling to contain himself--his eyebrows knit together, and his jaw still slack above you as he lets go of one, two, three moans that make the pit in your stomach sink further and further, pulling on the two ends of the knot you feel burn hotter and hotter as he picks up his pace.

“eddie, eddie..” you babble, every exhale mixed with a whine or a moan as your hands grasp onto any possible inch of skin. his biceps, his neck, his hips, your hands are everywhere at once and it is the only thing that is tethering you to this earth and the one above you, you’re sure. “i’m here baby, i’m here.” his sweet, sultry voice makes your heart swell and you aren’t sure if there are real tears forming at the waterline of your eyes or if it’s just the high that is making you imagine it. either way you feel one of his hands lift your left leg, making it possible to fit every inch of him inside of you. the slightest but showing bulge grows in your lower stomach, eddies hand reaching down to press into it and this makes you grasp onto his wrist, your brain slowly turning to mush. “fuck–can you feel me all the way up here? in your stomach..” he questions rhetorically, not expecting an answer (thankfully because you are hardly able to give him one).

he tries as hard as he can to praise and keep you sentient, but the heaviness of his breath and the impending climax he feels disables him from getting out fully thought out sentences, or any words for that matter. you swear you see stars as the white hot peak of your orgasm hits you like a freight train, your ankles meeting around his waist as you push him further down into you, your nails painting small crescent shapes into his back so hard you think you draw blood and your moans and screams loud enough for the entirety of your town to be clued in on what it is the two of you are doing. “ohgod, eddie fuck!” you get out as you feel yourself squeeze down hard on him, causing him to push down on your hips, stopping you from moving.

you hear him speak through the end of your orgasm, his face nestled into the crook of your neck and his hands holding firms on your hips. “please, baby–you’re so tight” he pleads, “don’t squeeze so hard, i..i’ve gotta relax or i’m going to finish inside of you.” you wrap your legs and arms around him like a koala bear, unwillingly to let him go.

“s’okay eds.. i want you to, please.” you squeeze again, evoking a strangled, caught moan from his throat that makes you let one out yourself. the sounds he makes are enough to make your head reel, the mere thought of him wordlessly telling you how good you feel is enough to make you wanna touch yourself, and sometimes you do.

“fuck, i want to–i want to but s’not smart baby.” he careens his hand over your face, your limbs still unwillingly to detangle as you splay kisses everywhere on his face. you shake your head no, still holding him tight to your chest with your arms wrapped around your neck. “come on honey,” your sweet voice entices him. “give it to me eddie baby, i’ve been good–don’t you think i deserve it?” and with one final squeeze and push of your hips, he’s crying out into your neck and you can feel the hot, warm ropes of his cum spill into you and at that you’re letting out a long, shaky sigh. he twitches inside of you, still panting and heaving into your skin and his hands have found comfort at your sides and he squeezes the soft skin at your hips and waist to ground himself.

together your breathing slows in tandem, and you lay there silently with the unimportant background hum of the low whirring fans, your hands softly stroking his head and face as he lay with his chin stationed at your collarbone. “i want this.. you–all the time.” he confesses, not exactly sure how to lucidly express himself.

“you already have me all the time, where else would i be?” you answer, not fully grasping what it is he’s trying to get across. so for now, he’ll lean his cheek against your chest and sigh in content–because every moment with you is far more than nothing at all.

a/n: thank you for reading!! i promise i have way more thought out one shots to come for my dear boy eddie munson but i wanted to throw this together for today.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson st4 #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fics #stranger things fic #stranger things smut #stranger things imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x f!reader

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warwickroyals · 1 year

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beginning - previous - next

post is long af, but i have things i have to establish and alyssa's readers need to learn warwick lore if they hope to understand anything i have planned!

ps - can't believe i wrote dialogue for contessina, she's always been my favourite of helena's children

@thegrimalldis

[CONTESSINA, TEXT] Wilhelmina. When your father and I allowed you to move abroad it was under the assumption that you would be responsible and focus on school

[CONTESSINA, TEXT] Spending over 25K in under a month is unacceptable and proves that you're not ready to be living on your own

[MINA] Is she serious?

[CONTESSINA, TEXT] I have tried calling you twice already. Why don't you answer? Your father wants to speak w/ you.

[MINA] She cannot be serious, oh my God!

[MINA, TEXT] Mom relax. School IS my priority but ppl here have standards. WMU isn't boarding school i cant wear the same ugly clothes every day!

[MINA, TEXT] Im sorry i missed ur call but theres nothing to talk about. Im exactly where i belong. No matter what ppl at home think . . . im living for myself now

[TELEVISION] By late 1967, the relationship had been going on for over half a decade.

[TELEVISION] The flame hadn’t died, Louis was still quite obsessed, and it was around that time members of the family—his mother, his grandmother—worried he was considering marriage.

[TELEVISION] The relationship just wasn’t tenable, especially for the time. I mean, Queen Anne famously told her grandson a royal consort must without exception be wealthy, winsome, and white. The point stuck, Farrah Nassar was none of those things.

[TELEVISION] So, already we’re seeing the standards Prince Louis was held to, with those in mind it

becomes easy to understand why he eventually settled on Irene. Irene was the quintessential royal bride in many, many ways.

The Wynnes were one of Sunderland’s oldest aristocratic families. Lady Irene’s ancestors had been in North America since the Mayflower and had walked the halls of our most esteemed institutions for generations. Top politicians, military commanders, and socialites. Queen Consort wouldn’t be a daunting title for a Wynne, or so everyone assumed—

[???] MINA, MINA, MINA!

[MINA] I’m coming, I’m coming, Jeez

[ZELLA] It was bad, Mina, so, so bad.

[MINA] You also smell “so, so bad”. Like gasoline and alcohol and . . . death

[MINA] Was it basketball again? Don’t say it was basketball, again.

[ZELLA] No, it was his stupid girlfriend. [IMMITATING TRE] "Naw, Zel, you don't know. She's so good. She runs a charity for pugs with proptosis. Her little brother has cancer. I can't mess this up." All because I told him it was a bad idea to bring her to my birthday party.

[TV SUBTITLES] Her parents and sisters were ecstatic. Irene received a lot of positive encouragement from her mother, Countess Wynne, in particular.

[ZELLA] I told you not to invite him. He’s a total cornball. It wish he would just hurry up and marry her. I’m not trying to play—I don’t even wanna fucking talk about it anymore. Which one is this?

[MINA] Uh, the doc? Women of Warwick it’s about—

[ZELLA] Whatever, just play it, I need a distraction.

[TELEVISION] I think early on Irene realized something was amiss. Farrah would just keep popping up. At family picnics and charity galas. Louis tried to pass her off as a friend, but Irene sensed the intimacy.

Irene was deeply hurt.

[TELEVISION] She would come to her mother in floods of tears saying, “Mommy, I

can’t do this, Louis is in love with someone else.” Countess Wynne, romance author, staunch

traditionalist, and . . . Stepford wife—sorry—told her daughter that Farrah wasn’t a threat, that

Louis would lose interest in her once marriage and children came along—

[ZELLA] I relate to her so badly.

[MINA] Irene? Because same, I mean, our families are sorta similar.

[ZELLA] No, Farrah.

[MINA] EW! Don’t ever say that again, I will literally cut you off.

[ZELLA] Why?

[MINA] Because, like, how do you even do that? Like, how do you sleep with a married man with little children and feel literally no remorse? She is definitely going to hell.

[ZELLA] I'm not saying what she did was right, I'm just saying that we never hear her side of the story.

[MINA] Yeah, because she ran away like a coward after everything blew up in her snake face.

[ZELLA] C'mon, I’ve watched too many of these things with you. There are reasons to feel bad for her.

[ZELLA] Farrah was, like, an outsider, right? People always said that she didn’t deserve the things Irene had so, like, people got super fucking angry when the cheating came out. They thought she didn’t deserve that love—Don’t look at me like that, I’m spitting! Why has everyone forgiven Louis for the cheating but not her, then?

[MINA] Why do I get the feeling this is just about stupid Tré and his stupid car and his stupid maybe-girlfriend with the pug obsession? He’s a bum, Zella, forget about him.

[ZELLA] You’re not going to guilt-trip me into relating to Farrah, it’s not that deep.

[MINA] Can I guilt-trip you for going on dates with someone you hate, though?

[ZELLA] At least I’m actually going on dates, Mina.

[MINA] It’s called having standards. Why would I settle when there’s so much bigger and brighter?

[ZELLA] Not this again, Lord.

[MINA] A princess belongs with a prince, that’s the way the world works.

[ZELLA] No, that’s how the Grimalldis’ world works, and everyone else is just living life.

#warwick.story #chapter three #ts4 story #ts4 storytelling #ts4 legacy #ts4 royal legacy #ts4 edit #ts4 screenshots #ts4 royalty #ts4 monarchy #ch: mina #ch: zella #✨

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pianostarinwonderland · 1 year

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hi! i read the Azul Ashengrotto Thoughts rb and it made me remember smth i thought about last night. i think your idea about "if azul is stronger/better at magic (than jade) then he can bypass the 'once per person' limitation" is more likely than what i thought but

on the contrary if he might not have been good enough to bypass the limitation, do you think jade's uhhh-- history (? im sorry i dont know the right word!!) would apply to him? like lets say jade successfully uses it on octa mob A then transfers it to azul. would azul still be able to use it on octa mob A or not bc it was "already used once on someone"

(this made me wonder something else about whether jade has used his UM on floyd yet. idk if it would have even been successful if he tried but if he did, could he have like. tested it out on him for fun or learned he got his UM unknowingly by accidentally using it on floyd? or would he have avoided trying to use it on floyd when he realized what his UM was because maybe "it could be useful in the future" or "i dont have a need or want to use this on my brother". this is just a baseless idea i thought of jshdjashjaj)

this is one more random question if you don't mind but!! if u haven't answered this before, do u have a favourite twisted tsumtsum? :D

thank you for listening to my ask lajdkhds !!!! have a wonderful day!

[Reply to here!]

you know, anon..............

THOSE ARE SUCH GOOD QUESTIONS

WTFFFFF I NEVER THOUGHT OF THOSE, AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D ACTUALLY GET TO READ THIS THREE YEARS AFTER I MADE THE POST SOBSOBSOBSOB

do you think jade's uhhh-- history (? im sorry i dont know the right word!!) would apply to him? like lets say jade successfully uses it on octa mob A then transfers it to azul. would azul still be able to use it on octa mob A or not bc it was "already used once on someone"

Man, this .. this is so interesting, I never even considered that the history of one's magic can be a possible factor. To this, I think that Azul steals the ability but the "history" is not applied. Probably because what Azul gets is really just the ability and not anything about its history. Like, for example, someone had to develop their abilities of course. Azul would probably not "feel" that history in the sense that he wouldn't really "feel" the difficulties or other things that the original user went through to polish their ability to what it is. He just has their ability now. So maybe theoretically, with Jade's UM, he can use the UM on Octa mob A if Jade used it on him again. And also, it's Azul's magic, not Jade's. So maybe the person will block out Jade's magic, but it does not recognize Azul's magic.

But if assuming that he can't bypass the limitation, then yea I don't think that he'd be able to use it on Octa mob A twice.

!! It's always been an hc of mine that Jade used his UM on Floyd at some point! And that's how he even found out about his limitations. Not sure what moment exactly would have gotten him to unlock that kind of ability, because from what we see in main story, UMs just suddenly kinda appear when someone is in a particularly stressful moment (like Deuce with the thugs in chapter 5 and Epel with the rogue Charons in chapter 6). Either way, unless they really fought a lot as kids, I don't think his first target was Floyd. But definitely Floyd witnessed him forming the UM, and then volunteered himself to be a practice dummy for Jade. And then they just learned from there.

#twisted wonderland #twst #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #twst theory #ask

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mariska · 10 months

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hi i would like to share a recent personal experience (with a surprisingly positive resolution) about challenging hate speech in online video games that have chat features as an extremely socially anxious autistic person + also some thoughts i've held for a very long time regarding the need for folks who are privileged enough to not be targets of constant harassment in video game social environments to use that privilege by speaking up when witnessing hate speech for those of us who can't safely do so

(this ended up being a super long post i'm sorry, i tried to split it into separated paragraphs to make it a bit more accessible to read but i needed to get this whole train of thought written outside of my brain before i unintentionally move on to some other point of focus and forget all of this)

i dont usually like posting about bad online video game interactions since thats a Bummer, but. i wanted to make a post to share a brief interaction i was a part of in the text chat of an online team game last night that actually had a positive resolution even just for the sake of being able to say that i've witnessed a bad video game interaction involving me as a target end up with a positive resolution. i'm gonna put the rest of this whole thing under a 'read more' so that it hopefully doesn't clog anyone's dash up with long-scrolling text wall:

i was playing 'versus' mode in Left 4 Dead 2 on my computer last night, which for anyone not familiar with that gamemode, is where one team of 4 people play as the human survivors and the other team of 4 people play as the game's 'Special Infected' zombies (Boomer, Hunter, Tank, etc. on a randomized respawn rotation). its very fun and chaotic but because of the chaotic rapid respawn nature of the zombie side and the fact that you don't usually play as the special infected zombies in the regular 'campaign', its not uncommon to be put in matches with ppl who have no patience for anyone who isnt super experienced or skilled or whatever as every special infected on the zombie team and people start arguments in the chat pretty often. im not a fan of ppl acting out like that but usually its just Annoying and i ignore it and carry on,

last night though, someone on the opposite team of mine (mine was currently the zombies; the game goes back and forth to let each team do their best at surviving the same levels on both sides; one team gets as far as they can as humans and then the other tries to match that score or do better if they can and so on) was getting increasingly frustrated that whenever their team was playing as the survivors they weren't quite making it as far towards the map end goals as my team was, because my team was doing slightly better at teaming up as the special infected zombies to get bigger scores and hold them away from their goal.

eventually he got so visibly upset in the text chat that he went "ok. r*tarded but ok', and then followed up quickly with something along the lines of "yall know you're a bunch of fkin r*tards right" (i censored it here, he did not originally) and that immediately crossed a boundary line for me because i'm autistic, and once was already too much, but twice in a row made me very uncomfortable. i didn't know or care if he was saying it to us (his enemy team), or his own team for having a slightly lower score as the survivors, but nobody else in the game had shown any text or voice chat signs of being unsafe people or angry people, so i felt safe enough to go in the text chat (i usually do not do this because i usually do not feel safe enough to do so in groups of strangers online)

i said something like "learn a new word to use, maybe?", just to kind of be like, 'hey, nobody else in this game is talking the way you are, don't be That Guy' you know? he said "why? its not like its a big deal", which was kinda sad to read 'cause it gave me the impression that this person probably spends a good amount of time (willingly or unwillingly) around people who commonly use slurs because its 'not a big deal'; again, nobody else in the match was getting involved verbally or textually, and we all continued to play the game while this happened, so i decided that i was going to stick up for myself since i don't often feel like i have the opportunity to do that in the text chat of games without feeling humiliated or thrown under the bus by my teammates or whatever.

while i was typing the guy added "i wasnt even saying it to you anyways" (does not matter to me, obviously). i finished the response i had been typing to his message about 'its not a big deal' and said "it is a big deal, actually!". by this point, his character had been eliminated entirely and his team had one or two human survivors running to their end goal map exit for the round, so he had more free time to type and he replied to me and said "whatever, you do you i guess". i said "well. i'm autistic, so." and meant to say 'i guess i will' in response to 'you do you', but the round ended after i sent that reply and the loading screen popped up for the survivor/zombie team switch

when it did, he wrote "fair 'nuff." in the chat like a minute or so into the very start of the round when both teams were getting set up and everything, and i was honestly fine with that as a general resolution to the whole thing, because the minute or so of time in between my last message and the non-aggressive bluntness of it made me feel like he probably felt at least a little guilty realizing that he was casually tossing around a slur that is very commonly used against autistic people to An Actual Autistic Person in the same game as him, and that worked for me.

the game went on as it regularly had been for like five or so more minutes, and then he suddenly sent another final and honestly unexpected message in the group chat that said, in no response to any other messages that had been typed by anyone since his last one, "alright i'm sorry i used that word in chat mariska" (my name/username). which was actually wild for me to see because i am very much not used to getting actual apologies from strangers who say bad stuff in game chats, and i genuinely appreciated that he either hadn't stopped thinking about it and felt bad about acting out, or maybe some of his own teammates had prompted him to apologize in their respective team chat or something; either way, i gave a genuine "thank you." in the chat to let him know the gesture was appreciated, and for the rest of the maybe 30 or so mins that the whole match lasted, there was no more aggressiveness or slurs or toxicity at all in the chat from either team's side. when the game ended all together, he was one of the first people to type "gg" (good game) in the chat, as did myself and almost all of the other folks in the match, and after that i stopped playing for the night.

sorry for the big long text post, but i wanted to share this somewhere other than just that isolated game match chat between 8 people, because i very often see a lot of people (on pretty much any social media but mostly on here tbh) make posts regarding this exact kind of video game or general online text chat community experience where the person writing the post encourages others who also commonly witness it, or are the target of slurs, harassment, threats etc, to speak up (if it is safe to do so, imo 'speaking up' or 'calling out' people you dont know especially in aggressive game communities should be the responsibility of allies/friends/non-targeted folks more often than those of us who are being harassed or threatened or talked down to ourselves since it is inherently more dangerous for us to defend ourselves unfortunately and it can take a very serious turn against us very fast, think 'swatting' or doxxing, as a few examples off the top of my head) against the language/slurs/bigotry/harassment that aggressive, angry, frustrated strangers commonly spew in text and/or voice game chats, and as someone who plays a lot of team based online games regularly and has played online games in general since the mid-2000's, i couldn't agree more with the people i've seen writing posts or game journalism articles encouraging people to refuse to allow that kind of behavior to be validated by others in an online match, or to only ignore it when there is a safe opportunity to make it known that at least one person refuses to tolerate whatever behavior the aggressor is displaying.

anyways, to make an accidentally way too long story short; more often than not, in online video game chat circles, it's unfortunately just not going to be super productive to call out casual hate speech & harassment because there are typically (in my personal experiences at least) more people in a group of strangers that either enjoy seeing targets of harassment get upset and will join in with the original aggressor to humiliate whoever speaks against it, or who behave the same way as the aggressor and validate their own patterns of hate speech as being acceptable and common by defending their behavior/siding with them in larger numbers.

but! in situations where you're watching that happen, to yourself or others, and everyone else is either silent or doesn't seem to agree/enjoy watching someone have a bigoted hissy fit in a video game chat, it absolutely can be worth it to be the person who makes it clear to that person that they are the problem. unless you personally know every individual person who is playing in the same match group as you, there is no 100% way to know exactly who all the other players are outside of their characters or personas they're represented by in-game. people who tend to be commonly perceived as pretty emotionally mature in general, in any part of online or offline life, can and do absolutely come across as temporary social role models/behavioral leaders to the other real human beings around them in the moment, regardless of whether that's intentional on their end or not.

i'm not quite sure if the term 'peer pressure' is exactly what i'm looking for as terminology right now since that term is typically applied in negative behavior patterns, but that concept is very real in any gathering of multiple people - it can (and again, in SAFE settings, should) be utilized in a positive, constructive way to prompt someone to think before they speak/type, and to make a point to everyone present in the moment that we are all allowed to openly bring attention to harassment and hate speech. that point is an especially important realization for people who may hold generally higher positions of privilege than those of us who speak against it, since they are the ones that really need to be doing this kind of thing more often and in larger majorities than those of us who are put in danger when we bring attention to hateful behavior simply by existing as oppressed people of any kind.

i guess the whole main train of thought i'm attempting to explain with all of this is, like. before that one person started typing out a slur two times in a row that has been used against me so many times in my life that my brain went into auto-pilot and refused to let him feel comfortable saying it again, nobody was typing anything like 'gg' or 'gr' (good round, when a game isn't totally finished yet) at all, which was fine that's not like a requirement, but when that next round ended after the guy apologized and i said thank you, everyone else started saying 'gr' until the match ended and there were a bunch of 'gg's instead, like i mentioned above.

in all honesty, if i hadn't been so exhausted last night from having a really difficult day earlier that involved a lot of unintentional trauma triggers, panic attacks and anti-anxiety medication, i probably would have just left the game or not said anything when that happened, because i am terrified of confrontation and i am very used to it resulting in bad outcomes for me so i try very hard to have self-control and not potentially feed into trolls online, but i had a really really bad day, and that was my late night comfort special interest activity, and it pissed me off that i couldn't avoid traumatic triggers even in that short distraction before attempting to get some sleep. i was acting totally on emotionally charged impulse which is something that i try so hard not to do with strangers in video games of all places.

but i mention that specifically because it still made a difference in that one match, and because of that we were all able to have fun playing a video game the way it was meant to be played for friendly competitive enjoyment. i will probably never interact or maybe even just run into any of those people in a game lobby again, so obviously there's no way for me to know if the person who typed the slur messages will just continue to do that in other games anyways or if getting called-out on hateful behavior had any kind of impact on how he might think a few seconds longer before saying something like that to strangers online again in the future, but like. i don't know. that's kind of the point, i think? he seemed at the very least pretty embarrassed that nobody wanted to defend him or feed into the whole 'its not a big deal' thing, to the point that he actually apologized appropriately to me directly in a social setting where 6 other people saw it, so maybe that was a feeling of temporary guilt or shame or just being humbled a bit that he needed to experience to learn something from.

some people really are just not worth the mental or emotional effort to respond to because they are so set and fixed in their ways, and they're a stranger, and it's not our responsibility to fix that, especially in video games, that's why i usually. Dont Bother. but also sometimes people are so self-centered or uncaring or maybe even projecting self-hatred of how they think of themselves onto strangers because they don't view those strangers as fully realized human beings that continue living their lives after exiting out of a video game, who knows, i don't and i really don't care to, but i truly think there are a large amount of people in this kind of situation that just repeat whatever they've learned and heard around them for however long, and think of it as 'no big deal', and they suddenly feel very embarrassed and ashamed and small when one of the usernames they view as just a username on a screen talks back and they are faced with the realization that they said something awful to a real person, not an npc, not a left 4 dead 2 zombie character, and the other 6 real people there say nothing to defend them, because what they said sucked, and we're all trying to have fun playing a silly game, and they deserved to be embarrassed about it.

i think that's maybe my Big Concluding Thought on this whole thing. not necessarily 'everyone join me in Bringing Peace And Harmony To Left 4 Dead 2 Online Text Chat', but like...your words mean things to people you don't know when you say things to them in a place like a video game chat, and the largest majority of people playing most games just wanna play the game, so like. maybe think for a second or two before you just say stuff that sucks. especially if it sucks because it is literal hate speech? but also in general when it just sucks because its just a mean unwanted and unhelpful comment. and maybe ask yourself, if you're someone who jokes about wishing you werent 'so toxic when i play but i cant help it' or if you say things just to say things because 'its no big deal', why? why are you like that? you literally do not have to be. you don't know the lives and experiences of the people you're spending a very small amount of time with together in a game online and when you do this kind of stuff, when you're mean and 'toxic' and you call people slurs when they don't get as many high little numbers next to your digital team's fake video game scoreboard as you want them to get, the only impression or memory they will ever have of you is that they don't like you and you made a lighthearted experience suck for 7 people. that is all you get to be to that person forever.

idk, maybe other people don't think that's sad and maybe it doesn't bother them, but if that was the most common impression i left on a bunch of different groups of strangers that i wont get to interact with again afterwards i would feel pretty sad and ashamed about it.

anyways. i need to partake in tasks that do not involve rambling on my phone now but if you read this that is cool thank you, if you didnt that is fine i understand this became a ridiculously long post out of nowhere i do not blame u, and. i hope you have a good day. ok goodbye

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fagraymond · 2 years

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TITLE : Screen Time (NSFW)

PLOT : Spencer and Derek care a lot about each other, and it was such a foolish thing to assume that Morgan was only in this for the sex, and his body. How could he have not seen the love layered beneath the wants?

WARNING(s) : emotions emotions emotions ^_^ the sex is after the blocks of text with emotional build up, im sorry i just love sex with meaning, they love each other AND fuck?? can't get any better than that. oh and derek is hinted to have almost died in here, at one point

EXTRA : self beta read so there will be edits and maybe some major changes even after this is posted. the ages in criminal minds are still very inconsistent so i just fucked around and found out so reid and morgan have a 6 year age difference because i tried to do the math and gave up halfway <3 prompt

Reid was a beautiful thing.

Smooth skin, petite, and with a frame that fit the screen so well; he was a perfect blank canvas, and Morgan could only dream of changing that — the opportunity of being able to stain the untouched spots, from his neck to his thighs, stripped away to just promises because they are so far away.

The distance between Las Vegas, California, and Boston, New England was a calamity for the two, and he was convinced it existed purely to separate them. All 2,976 miles, to keep them away from each other.

He had talked about it to the man, once or twice, and they tried to make it up with constant phone calls, video calls, and texts until they could have time to see each other in person.

Adding up to the fact that, due to the FBI's wide jurisdiction, Morgan was moving around the entirety of the USA, constantly. Putting more miles, and very rarely less between them. It made them ache, yes but they coped through it the best they can.

Many nights had Morgan overthought; It was already hard enough to find the time to call each other, would it be easier to have each other or harder, when he always traveled around? if they finally meet?

With Spencer Reid having such little patience, paired with Derek Morgan's uncontrollable affection for the younger man, it would only take a matter of time— specifically two phone calls, to get him separated from everybody just to guide the both of them to ecstasy.

Bathroom, empty office, anything private enough to command Spencer to take off his tie, to show himself to the camera and suck on his fingers. Enough privacy to have his phone on speaker, to hear him make love on the other side of the screen, with the knowledge that he is thinking about him, making him feel good.

It would impair Morgan's job, they knew that, but it felt right.

Which left them with situations like this; the two are unable to wait longer than a few hours for Morgan to get back home from the case, and he ends up staying awake at the end of the day in his hotel room.

One hand holding his phone where he could observe his lover while the other hand waited for a signal to move.

Which he knew Hotch wouldn't like if he found out that one of his agents didn't sleep, much to his hypocritical habits. Many times had the unit chief reminded them all that the job is sensitive, everybody needs to have their head in the game. Especially Derek Morgan. only to be forgotten for a long-distance relationship.

So Derek tried his best to not get caught, waiting hours to make sure the others had settled into their rooms or rarely already asleep, going outside to check on some occasions when he had enough excuses to go to the vending machine. Which always got him a suspicious side-eye from his coworkers, who were hungry and needed a kick up like really bad cans of soda that had been there for too long but he never expected less from any of them. they were profilers, he was one too, so he knows how easy it is to make good educated guesses with the same effort as breathing.

It was just a matter of time before they make the connection, that Spencer Reid could be his career's destruction, and Derek Morgan was very ready to blow himself up for the good doctor. They already knew that he was seeing someone, and they already know of his habit of strong love; doing anything, risking everything. He had told them that himself, even, through experiences of vulnerability.

Experiences that he wouldn't dare share with anybody else, at least he wouldn't have a few months ago, when he didn't receive an accidental text from a professor from some college in California, with blocks of texts stacked on texts containing summaries of college-level topics that he guessed a student missed, from the very obvious,

"I assume that next week you'll be able to attend class?" at the end of it all. When Morgan asked Garcia to do a background check before he replied, because of course he wasn't dumb, one reply could set off a chain of events if the sender was a highly educated unsub, with really good acting skills.

When he didn't read through the file and realized that the person behind the screen really was a professor, and just sucks at texting.

When his assumption that the professor was an unsub easily debunked entirely when the file he was holding wasn't about just any professor, it was about the Spencer Reid, the same Spencer Reid that somewhat worked for the FBI and local police departments as a source of information, the same Spencer Reid with belts on belts of seminars hosted to his person. Talked about frequently in circles around the FBI, the name thrown around, used to be talked about frequently by Gideon, occasionally Rossi, JJ in times, and especially Garcia, who talked about him more in a personal sense. She had been the one to give him his very few social media handles, after all.

But now, he was months ahead when all of that transpired. Where he can call that same Spencer Reid his boyfriend, and have the luxury of him being as eager to call Morgan the same; Boyfriend. and Spencer Reid was the best boyfriend. Caring, compassionate, well-educated, loving, and handsome to his very core.

Yet, If Spencer was a beautiful thing to Morgan, then Derek was a masterpiece to Reid.

Many mornings had Spencer waken up to worried texts from Derek, who had forgotten that they were timezones apart. When it was 7 there in Boston, it was 4 in Pasadena. Many nights had he also called, wondering what the other was doing, only to be surprised with a complaint from the other who was too deep in his sleep to realize it was Spencer who was calling; had it been 1 in Pasadena, It was 4 for the man in Boston. It was an entire thing.

After a few more days like that, it hit him how much they did care for one another. The relationship wasn't the sex, It was the intimacy, the love that layered it. How could he have been so foolish to assume that at the start, all Morgan wanted was a fuck?

They had days where Spencer would think that, this was it, he was going to die, only to be sent a text from their mutual friend Penelope Garcia that he wanted to call him to see if 'he was okay' as if he wasn't the one who was knocked out a few mere minutes ago, but he was in a hospital bed and they couldn't afford for him to move, or even make a call to his 'mystery woman'

And that mystery woman was Spencer.

"I'm pretty sure they've threatened to literally strap him down multiple times," She had said to him one day. in the comforts of their 4th call, and every time he picked up thinking it was Derek, it was them again. Garcia and Reid, always equally as terrified as him as she bared him news about the shared, most important person in their life.

Both worried to their death beds, ironically, that he wouldn't make it.

"But do not fret, Our dear Derek Morgan is a good boy with a good heart, he loves making nurses favor him, death is no match."

And Spencer had thought about that conversation, quite literally replaying it in his mind, every time he was in danger. Derek Morgan is a good boy with a good heart, death is no match, and with every passing day — her words never failed to be true.

Yet he was so foolish to think that this wasn't love, that it was just the worry that one would naturally experience. Basic human instincts.

But as he looked back; after the sex, there was aftercare, during the calls there would be words that were left behind but still trailed the air, words that hold the meanings of 'I love you' and 'I hope that you're alright' to be replaced with questions of how the case was going if there were any.

The intimacy, two words replaying in his mind, alongside the three words that he's repeated millions of times. those being, Morgan, Please and Fuck, plus all their variations. as he felt himself get lost in the world of just the two of them, in a call, alone and so so in love.

White oversized sweater partially taken off, as it hanged against his shoulders, covering his chest but not his stomach. Never his stomach, because that was Morgan's favorite part of his body. His eyes almost always finding themselves focusing in on it, moving up and down with heavy breaths. Thumbing in a trail that made sense to Spencer, who's head was leaned back off-screen, imaging his hands replaced with the famous Derek Morgan's instead.

And if Morgan were to say that the scene failed to take his breath away, he would be a damn fucking liar. Morgan could only dream, that he was there. It looked vivid with his eyes closed, he could almost feel himself in the moment;

The very sight of the young man made Morgan feel light, swimming in the clouds, pure euphoric as he pleasured himself to the sight of Reid's body. To the sound of his high pinched whimpers, begging for Morgan to finally man up and fly to his apartment in Pasadena and to ruin him so beautifully, to make him feel so right.

In the same wavelength as Reid, Morgan was getting lost in his own world, too. Drifting in sexual pleasures; enjoying the sight of his boyfriend touching his legs, opening them wide to the screen. Little fleeting moans echoing from his speaker, Morgan could easily mistake it for heaven.

Reid's apartment, somewhere in Pasadena, simply being a background to the man as he kept himself steady in front of his laptop camera.

Fingertips wandering so nicely against his frame it made Morgan shake, licking his lips in that familiar way that the other could hear. Lips red, lips bruised like he had been kissed and it wasn't from the previous nights spent like this, where he had bitten down on them that they bled, or from nights where he was requested to suck on his own fingers. Him doing so, on command.

Spencer Reid looked like he glowed in the dark, the comforting shades of orange from his lamp framing his body from behind to the point he looked angelic. As angelic as he could be with what he was doing, at least. His legs beneath him as he sat patiently on his knees, his head going out of frame, only to go back in when he was deep in their little world and couldn't care less about the faces he was making.

The sweet, cute faces that never failed to make Morgan twitch.

Morgan, who was fucking into his own fist in tandem with the professor's whimpers and begs, as he comes in front of the camera, looking ethereal as he always did whenever he finished. It took a few seconds for him to come back down from the skies, the pleasure making his mind go blank of anything except for the two of them.

Specifically, the two of them. doing it over and over again.

And Morgan was eager to do it again, too. "you can give me another one, can't you baby? for me, please?" Morgan asked, almost inaudible compared to Reid's own desperate asks; Reid who was desperate and fucked out from his own hands that he wasn't registering that he was already touching himself after Morgan had asked so kindly.

Finally, it had dawned to him. Everything he was seeing, was far from how the professor presented himself daily; and that he was the only one who could make him look like this, turn into someone so desperate and dirty for him and only him. Had it been an ego boost, it was. but it was also an easy reminder, that Spencer offered equally as much in his relationship, as he did. Efforts shown both during sex, and the meanings behind his words now that make it obvious that they finally meant something.

They always had, he was just waiting for the other to realize that, too, and he finally did. Maybe even weeks before right now.

And that was enough motivation for their session to go all night.

Call time — 4 hours and 12 minutes.

#this was longer #but like #half of that got eraised when my computer turned off #and i forgot to save it #<- had an entire meltdown because of that by the way #derek morgan fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #moreid #moreid smut #derek morgan x spencer reid #morgan x reid #derek morgan x spencer reid smut #morgan x reid smut

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iheartmisty · 1 year

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“she has everything” is probably what people think when they look at me.

look at me. I have cute & perfect outfits. i wear short shorts and try hard, brushed hair, glasses, great manners, im kind, helpful, smart, and caring. I put others first. I’m shy. I’m quiet, but observant. i’m a deep thinker. I’m in all honors classes. I’m incredible at art. I write beautiful poetry. I’m a great singer. I play guitar and piano. some might even say im pretty. I have a roof over my head, food, and money to buy whatever I’d like.

does that diminish everything I’ve been through?

how about you see me instead. listen to my real story. when I was little, I had a friend group of five. we all loved the same music, the same colours, our parents were best friends. it was perfect. ooooh but I guess we all grew up now, cause I’m left here loving them and wanting them and they’re here giving excuses to not see me. then I moved. went to a new school, met some new people. thought everybody was my friend; and everybody loved me because I was nice to them. turns out, im just stupid and clueless and people aren’t what they seem to be. I got my heart broken, twice. and it hurt a lot more than it should’ve because they both were not very nice people. they were manipulators, and haters, and apparently bullies too. I thought I was brave for confessing. twice. after covid, none of my hundreds of friends even texted back. I guess we weren’t friends. my good friends never asked me to hang out, and were somehow always busy. I got framed, cyberbullied, harassed online, rumors spread. and this didn’t happen once, but at least like 10 times. my friends didn’t care. they just left. they left me there. they added fire to the flames. now im left with attachment issues and the fear of abandonment. [insert most preposterous thing I would never do that makes 0 sense]. then I get bullied for that? oh then I tried to ask my best friend to defend me, please, and she was like “ur making my mental health worse” “im suicidal now” and starts getting her friends to bully me more and curse at me for quote on quote, “ruining her life”. I’m sorry that I wasted my time trying to help her and her relationship. I’m sorry I spent so much time on her when she did that to me. its so unfair that she gets to be posting about it and gets people wishing her and supporting her when I never got support when I was doing the same. I was bullied more if someone ever found out. i hated myself more and more. I cut myself more and more. no one noticed. no one cared. my grades slipped.

I think that’s really funny cause first of all, she lied, second of all, I love how she gets all the support in the world for her fake story of a paper cut and I was out there bleeding to death from stab wounds that would never ever heal. but its whatever. then, another one of my best friends comes over, body shames me, calls me ugly and calls me out for every single thing and made me feel more insecure than ever, and then walks out after telling people that im the one who body shamed her. oh im oh so sorry for defending you while you were getting bullied, but this is my return gift, thank you? now I cant run away from my anxiety or anxiety attacks and I’m still alone. i wish I wasn’t. I wish someone understood. I’m really not who you think I am. my friend once told me that the way i dress would give off the impression that im a “popular girl”. that I’m materialistic. that I’m shallow, and cold-hearted. maybe thats the girl ive been trying to portray. im really not materialistic, or shallow, or cold-hearted. im the opposite. maybe ive been trying to hide away and blend in the shadows. maybe ive been trying to pretend like im a pretty girl. I havent ever told anybody that. maybe part of me wishes karma would get it over with already, because they all seem to be doing better than me. I think being a good person doesn’t have many rewards, unless you keep doing it, even through this. and I will, because thats just who I am.

now lets see more about me. things someone could maybe actually love. uhh, the way i always give others the bigger half. or the cup with more water. the way I’m always smiling or maybe my favourite songs. maybe a poem I wrote about someone I love. im my favorite quotes and the colour of my room and the movies I watch. and I found people who love me for all of the above. the first impressions. the dark parts. the beautiful ones. and I hope to never let them go. i hope to never let myself go.

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docwritesshit · 1 year

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Who needs a soulmate when I got you? (Prt. 8)

Authors note: This may or may not be the last part of this story. After this, I have no ideas other than actually sharing the OC x Shinsou story, as well as my OC x Tamaki one. Also, requests are open! Just look at my pinned post to see what Im willing to write

It’s been over a year since graduation, and safe to say, it’s been a bit hectic. I stayed with my internship with Best Jeanist so far, but made plans with Reiko Yangai to start up our joint company in the next few months. And reporters have been all over me because of my markings and the outburst at the last sports festival.

Apparently, Aizawa looked into my ‘father’s’ financial history and cases, seeing instances of where he paid off heros to ignore me in the streets and accepted bribes to look the other way once or twice. And people made the connection of my and his paired with his wife’s quirk. Oh well, just a hard glare and just silence gets them off my back enough.

I sighed in relief as I stepped through the door, unzipping my boots and laying them by the door next to the red string that carried out into the hallway. I looked around the apartment, smiling as I saw a figure in the kitchen. I shuffled my way over, peeking around the corner to witness Mezo making some stir fry. I sauntered over, taking hold of his arm and looking over in the pan.

“Good evening to you too, dear," He greeted. I hummed, resting my cheek on his bicep.

“Happy birthday Dino.” I mumbled, pulling a small box out of my pocket and setting it on the counter. He raised an eyebrow, one of his hands taking the box and pulling off the top. He chuckled, taking out a small silver charm of a squid. He smiled, setting it down next to his charm bracelet on the counter, already having charms of a dinosaur, unicorn, crow, alien, music note and such. It was my first gift to him, trying to cherish all the memories we make and keep a simple document of them.

“Thank you dear, just what I needed.” He said, giving me a kiss on the top of my head. I kissed his cheek, pulled away and headed to the bedroom.

“I’m gonna take a shower then join you ok? I’ll see you then.” I said.

“Take your time dear.”

I gathered my clothes, trudging to the bathroom and closed the door. I was finishing up when I heard the doorbell ring.

“I’m coming!” Mezo shuted, shuffling around to fit his mask on. I smiled, got out and started to get changed when he opened the door. Muffled conversation came through the moderately thin walls. However, it sounded like Mezo was getting a bot louder.

I furrowed my eyebrows, walking out and into the hallway to see our guest. I squeezed next to Mezo, and I saw red. This was the girl, his actual soulmate, standing in front of me.

“Whos’ she?” The girl asked. I crossed my arms, showing off my markings.

“I was about to ask you the same question, but I see that there is no need. Instead, why are you here?” I countered.

“I’m his soulmate, who are you?” She asked, close to getting into my face.

“His fiancé,” The words slipped out before I could stop them. Mezo looked at me with wide eyes, and looked back at the girl.

“As I was saying, you are not welcome here” He stated at the girl. She stomped her foot, holding up her hand in frustration.

“We’re bound!! Why is she more important?”

Mezo started to speak, but I cut him off.

“I’m here because I chose to be here. You are here because instead of being stuck with a freak, you are bound to a hero. One of the bravest students this generation has to offer. I chose the freak, you chose the hero. Guess I’m the one stuck with the hero ironically.” I said. The girl huffed, and looked up at Mezo.

“I never meant anything back in school. I’m sorry, I promise I’ll be better, just don’t leave me alone.” Tears welled up in her eyes. She tried to reach out to grab his shirt, but he batted her hand away.

“No. If you don’t want to be alone, go to someone who you aren’t going to leave the second they aren’t useful to you. If you want, we can try and get you with Kusaris’ soulmate if you are really that desperate. But, I would rather him be subjected to the rings of fire.” Mezo stated calmly. I pursed my lips to stop the giggles. The girl stood still, trembling with tears rolling down her face.

“You heard him. Be safe out there. Never come back.” I said, closing the door and walking away with Mezo following.

“Fiancé?” He asked. Heat rushed to my cheeks. I rambled with my back turned to him to gather utensils to get dinner.

“I.. well, she wouldn’t go away just for a girlfriend. And it’s not like I don’t want that eventually! Unless you don’t want to. I don’t mind it. We won’t get that much press if we don’t get engaged, especially since the news doesnt know we are living together and have been dating for four years now. I mean, maybe a small wedding if we do?” I stumbled through the words. I didn't hear him shuffling around me, pulling something from a drawer. Didn’t hear him shift his weight and plant one knee on the floor. I didn’t realize it until I looked back and saw him holding the box while his knee was on the ground, looking back up at me.

“That sounds like it has a nice ring to it.”

I dropped the plate on the counter, the clatter startling me enough to process the situation. I walked over, kneeling to met his eyes, and tackled him into a hug

“You absolute jackass, that was fucking corny.” I laughed out.

He chuckled as well.

“I worked on that for weeks!” He refuted. Some tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked down at his hand holding the box. He used his other hand to take my hand and used another one to put the ring on. I smiled down at the ring, a simple thick silver band with a purple gem set into it. I looked back up, cupping his cheeks.

“I’m so happy. I can’t… I love you so much.” I said, leaning forward and met his lips. He brought me up in his lap, twirling his fingers in my still wet hair. I pulled away for breath, and smiled.

“How long?” I asked. He chuckled, grabbing my hand and fidgetting with the new ring.

“Since we graduated. Been waiting till I was certain that was what you wanted.” I chuckled, leaning against his chest and swinging my legs to the side, admiring the new accessory that will lead to a life I never thought I could have.

“I think the ring fits better than the cat.”

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yeoderys · 4 years

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lock screen, home screen, last saved idol, last screenshot, and last saved meme

i was tagged by @xiaoxuxis <3 (it got to the point that my phone suggested your @ lmao)

and im only tagging @briadtr again cause im still a wuss with tagging

#i already tried posting this once but it didnt work for whatever reason so sorry if u see it twice lol #my home and lock screen are always the same pic cause im basic #also pls domt come at me for never checking my notifs i already knownits ridiculous lmao #oh and i only screenshotted that tweet bc the translation made me laugh #thank you again ira <33 youre the best #tagged

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ventiskies · 3 years

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when he accidentally injures you | Xiao, Albedo, Bennett

a/n: hello anon!! im doing well, thank you!! hope you are too !! thank you for giving me the chance to add characters HHHH ive been DYING to write for Xiao, Albedo and Benny so i took the opportunity to! hope you like it !! also,,, this is probably my longest post !! i loved writing this <3

pairing: Xiao x gn! reader, Albedo x gn! reader Bennett x gn! reader

warnings: vague mentions of injury and blood

Xiao

★Xiao and you had been on a stroll, something you casually did together whenever Xiao was in a good mood. the adeptus wasn’t one to get out of the confines of Wangshuu Inn, so every time he does, you cherish it and spend it as if it was your last

★but this particular stroll didn’t go as planned, at all

★the two of you had left Wangshuu Inn in the morning, when the weather had seemed as if it would be sunny the whole morning, but it had betrayed you the moment you had set foot in Minlin, the skies had loomed with darkness and occasional rumbles of thunder

★Xiao could have easily teleported the two of you together, but a sudden attack with a ruin hunter had caused him to get distracted

★he could easily defeat the creation with a simple use of his elemental burst, but you were in the vicinity and he didn’t want you getting injured, despite the chances of hitting you were low, he wasn’t going to take the chance

★he had strictly told you to stay back and out of sight, making use of the terrain to jump and strike at the core with his polearm whenever the hunter was aiming to him, but he should have known you were stubborn

★the moment you had ran into the fight, arrow pointing to the ruin hunter, the said war machine had immediately turned towards you, all four of its arms aiming missiles towards you

★Xiao had been too slow, and when he had realized it was aiming towards you, you had already been sent back flying after the hit

★your name fell on his lips, his eyes widening in anger when he had seen what the creature had done, and without any hesitance Xiao summons his elemental burst and sends the creature falling to pieces

★“y/n,” Xiao mutters, worried that he would be met with the sight of you dead, “y/n, where are you?”

★you gave a weak groan, unable to raise your head after hitting it on the sharp rocks. Xiao made his way towards you, and the rain started pouting

★Xiao knelt down and cradled your head gently, seeing the gash on your head. you were most likely suffering from a concussion as well from the way you were unable to look at him in the eye, and your hands grabbing your forehead as if it had exploded

★his eyes showing evident worry, and this was the first time he had felt so scared

★he knew he was powerful, and he was beginning to regret even taking you out of the safety of the Inn. this shouldn't have happened, he was with you because he wanted to protect you,

★and here he was being the cause of your injury

★“y/n, can you hear me?” he asked, and when you hissed the moment he placed a gentle hand on your head, he curses lightly, unable to keep himself calm as he always had anymore, “hold on,”

★Xiao had lived for years and had suffered watching deaths and injuries of the people he had been close with since he had became the adeptus of Liyue, but for once, he had felt a different type of hurt when you had been injured this time

★because this was his fault; what if it had happened again?

★he had teleported the two of you back to Wangshuu Inn, and had asked Verr Goldet to help you just because he was afraid of hurting you further

★and she knew more than to question what happened, especially after Xiao had told her with the weakest voice she has ever heard him use, and pleading eyes to take care of you.

★when you had healed completely, you noticed Xiao had distanced himself from you more than when you had both met the first time, and it had worried you to no end

★it had came to a point where he would disappear whenever you tried to search for him at the balcony, and you were getting upset that he was running away from you because of the accident that was caused by your stubbornness; and the fact that you knew Xiao blamed himself had only made you more guilty

★”Xiao,” you gently said, walking outside with a bowl of his favorite almond tofu, “I miss you,”

★he had to contain himself to avoid disappearing on you again after he heard the words. Xiao wasn’t much of an emotional person, but the memories from the accident had left him afraid of getting close to you again, in fear that he would hurt you once more

★but when he had met your glossy eyes and saw the pained expression you held, he knew that it was only going to be worse is he had avoided you

★”y/n-” Xiao started, but you had only dropped the almond tofu and ran into his arms, hugging him tight as if you were afraid to let him go

★and (with reluctance), Xiao had hugged you back, twice as hard

★it would take time for him to get back to his usual self and trust himself to go out and adventure with you again, but for him, you would wait your lifetime.

Albedo

★An experiment going wrong was a part of alchemy. It was something Albedo would expect to happen fifty percent of the time he conducts something for the first time

★He has gotten a handful of injuries from it that he had sometimes forgotten that people outside of the realm of alchemy wouldn't know what it would be like to expect a burn or scars after the first test

★So of course, sometimes even the smartest people could be careless

★Albedo had brought you to his lab in Dragonspine, claiming that he had found a rare plant and wanted to see if it was able to withstand heat

★Putting it in a flask, he had placed it on a test tube holder and your curious eyes had caught sight of the glowing pink tube

★“What’s this?” you stepped closer to inspect the glowing flask, and Albedo wordlessly looks at you with a fond smile. your curious gaze at his work had always made him feel happy; you truly were endearing

★Albedo turns on the burner, and the moment the fire had hit the flask, the substance had instantly exploded, causing you to recoil back and grab at your face when the substance had burned your face

★instantly, Albedo had abandoned his failed test and attended to you, trying to pry your hands away from your face

★“My love, I’m so sorry,” he says gently, trying to see the damage that the explosion has gave you, “please look at me,”

★you felt tears well in your eyes, the burns on your cheeks combining with the coldness of the snow stinging your face

★when Albedo had successfully pried your hands away , he grabbed them gently and looked at you, “we- we need to see the deaconess,” he mutters to himself, feeling his heart ache seeing you holding back tears, never in his life had he regretted conducting an experiment so badly;

★he had wished he was able to take the pain away from you, he absolutely despised seeing you so hurt

★after you had healed, Albedo would make a rule that you weren’t ever allowed in the premises of his laboratory ever again, and that you were banned from joining him whenever he was conducting experiments

★it had hurt you when Albedo had adamantly decided on it, but you knew that it would only hurt him more if you tried to fight him about it

★he was still blaming himself for the incident; despite him knowing that errors were completely common in alchemy

★his greatest fear was hurting you, and if he was given a choice, he would rather have you far away as possible from anything that could lead to potential harm

★(and that especially meant that when the time comes and he loses control and destroys Mond, he hopes you would be far away from him as possible, too)

Bennett

★Bennett knew he was bad luck, he knew that was mostly the reason there wasn't anyone on his team. no one wanted to get hurt and gain nothing on an adventure. no one wanted to bring a bunch of medical supplies for when an accident that was bound to happen, happens

★no one but you

★you were the only member in Bennett’s team; you were a duo. you didn’t wield a vision, but that didn't make Bennett think of you any less, in fact, he thought you were the bravest person ever for being just a feet away from him outside of Mond, and now you were a team member of his

★injuries were common for you. there would always be some sort of scratch or bleeding whenever you went out on an adventure with the pyro vision holder. if there wasn’t a monster encounter, the two of you would accidentally trip and fall into a lake

★but when the latter happens, Bennett would have a fire for the two of you, and settle in an empty (at least, you hope was) hilichurl camp nearby to warm up in

★it was the norm now, and despite Bennett wanting you to just choose another team because he couldn't handle seeing you in pain from his luck, you had always reassured him that the unexpected turns of events because of his luck was just what you had loved about adventure, and you always trusted him to take care of you whenever something like that happened

★but of course, it was only a matter of time until it was Bennett himself who had hurt you

★you were both fighting a cryo abyss mage, the bastard’s protective shield already broken by Bennett’s elemental skill, causing the creature to start crawling on the ground pathetically

★you were sure its health had already decreased a significant amount that one slice could kill it off instantly, and you had wanted to give the final blow

★but Benny seemed to have a different idea

★the moment Bennett had saw you coming, it had been too late for him to stop, because the same moment you had ran towards the abyss mage, he had raised his sword and sliced the creature hard to the point that his sword had accidentally sliced your stomach as well

★thankfully, your clothes were thick enough that the cut hadn’t been deep enough to get stitches, but it still hurt so badly that you had fallen to the floor, clutching your stomach

★“y/n, what happened?!” he asked, too worried to remember that it had been him who did it, “are you okay?!- wait, no, that was a stupid question, let me see,”

★Bennett was an excellent team leader, but sometimes, he could be a little oblivious

★he gently lays you on his lap, taking out supplies from his belt. he had saw a glimpse of red, so he takes out towels to wipe the blood

★he had gently asked if he could lift your shirt, and when you had weakly nodded, he assessed the damage

★and that was when he had saw the burns by your cut

★burns. the abyss mage was a cryo one, and there wasn't any source of fire where you were but him

★Bennett felt his breath hitch, hands holding the towel clenching in fear. what had he done?

★“no, no, no,” he says in slight panic; this was exactly what he was afraid would happen, “no, no, y/n I’m so sorry. I was supposed to protect you,” his voice broke, gently pressing the towel on your wound to soak up the blood, and when he heard you hiss in pain, he felt tears well in his eyes, “I’m so sorry...”

★he knew the cut wasn’t deep, and you were going to be okay, but the mere thought that the fact you couldn't move and were in pain was because of his doing had caused Bennett to be unable to focus

★you were taken to Barbara immediately, Bennett carrying you bridal style the whole way back (he had been silent, while you had tried to start a conversation with lighthearted banter with him, he had only given you a half hearted laugh before focusing on his journey back) and was healed with a simple swish of the deaconess’ hands

★but afterwards, Bennett had started to spend less time outside of Mondstadt, saying that he had preferred to read at the library with you, and that was extremely unlike of him

★you knew it was because he was blaming himself for what had happened, so you had to let him know that you were fine, and that you knew that it was bound to happen anyways

★It would take a lot of reassurance for Benny to agree to even step a foot outside again, but in the end, it would be worth it to see his adventurer spirit once more

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wri0thesley · 3 years

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omg wait no hold on I just requested overhaul but then I remembered your overhaul thirst post about him pulling a "curing hysteria~" as an excuse and thought I'd request something along that vibe (no oun intended). I think that'd fall under orgasm control, overstim? (hope this is okay!)

hysteria antidote - overhaul x fem!reader (4k)

seeing nothing but the same four walls every day of your life is playing havoc with your brain. overhaul thinks perhaps you're suffering from hysteria. he has the perfect cure for that.

cw: not sfw/minors dni. dark content!!! dubious/non-consent. captive reader. talk of death, blood, etc. medical kink, gloves, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm control. misogyny. mentions of pregnancy/breeding. afab reader, fem pronouns.

[a/n: idk the internet said the 28th of may was his birthday so consider this both a birthday fic and a fic to celebrate 6k followers, sorry that i am gross and horrible but tbh im having a great time <3]

You really don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to be going out of your mind.

Since the Boss was taken ill, and Kai – Overhaul, you remind yourself, though he’s always just a little less sharp with you when you trip over the new name than he is with anyone else – took over leadership of the Shie Hassaikai, you’ve been pretty much stuck indoors.

Considering that you’re pretty sure he only has fond feelings towards maybe three people in the entire world, including you, you guess you ought to feel special about it – but all it actually does is make you feel like a trapped bird, caged and restless. It doesn’t help that all of the other members of the organisation have started being weird around you; people who you’ve known most of your adult life, people who you’ve worked beside and killed beside and done other horrible things beside (for the good of the organisation, of course)--

But now, they look at you like you might break at any moment. They treat you like an invalid. Their brows crease when they see you out and about, quietly murmuring; “Shouldn’t you still be in your room?”, avoiding touching you at all costs. There’s a kind of fear in their eyes, that they’re going to be told off for even speaking to you, that they’re afraid of being caught close to you.

And you know exactly who’s to blame for that.

You’d tried to speak to him about it, once; you’d thought that perhaps he might be amenable to your desire to do something to help the Shie Hassaikai. He’s always wanted to restore them to their former glory, after all! But after you’d let out your little impassioned tirade, his eyebrows had creased over the bird-mask.

“You don’t sound well,” he’d said to you. “Go back to your room. I’ll talk to you about it later.”

You had missed, at the time, that he hadn’t said ‘we’ll talk about it later’. He’d just said ‘I’ll’. When he had come, that is how it had been; the reassurance that he was keeping you safe. That he didn’t want you to be tainted. That he was keeping you well.

Your quirklessness has never been an issue before, but it certainly hasn’t been a boon. Still, for Kai--

“It’s disgusting,” he’d said, agitated by the discussion. You’d stared at his hands, thinking about the destructive power he himself wielded. “Quirks are a curse, and you not having one is just proof you’re not infected.” He’d looked up, golden eyes piercing directly into yours. “I’m going to keep you perfect.”

Overhaul is not a doctor, for all of his talk about illness and disease and plague. You think he could have used his quirk for something meaningful, once; but you also know that his burning curiousity, his disgust of anyone who deems tainted, his utter lack of morality . . . those are all things that would not have been welcomed in the medical profession. So instead, he deals in needles and pills and altering drugs in the underground labyrinth of the compound.

Sterile rooms, with examination tables and scalpels and impersonal, silver-grey equipment. Pill boxes that rattle when he passes them to you and tells you to take three of those a day, one of those, that one has to be taken to with food--

The idea that you won’t take them doesn’t enter his head, and though he has never . . . overhauled someone in front of you, you have walked past other members of the organisation mopping and disinfecting blood and gristle from sterile flooring.

It is better to go along with him, so you take the supplements and the pills and submit to the way he grabs your chin in gloved hands on the doctor’s chair, tipping your face up to shine a light into your eyes and watch your pupils dilate. But inside, you are screaming.

You’re not made to be locked in one room, occasionally allowed out to pace the hallways of the upstairs – never the underground ones, not any more – with restless footsteps and your muscles fizzing with desire to taste fresh air. You’re not made to stare at the same walls and breathe the purified air and think about how empty the compound is, now that Overhaul is in charge of everything--

(Too many knick-knacks attract dust. Pollen allergies act up, if there are too many plants, and he hates hearing people sneeze. Furniture should be easily movable and barren, to assist in the twice-daily cleanings of every room that people walk through.)

But it’s getting too much for you. Suffocating. You feel like you’re choking on air all of the time; you take the pills, because the thought of what he could do to you is terrifying, but sometimes you wonder if perhaps it would be better if you didn’t.

You’d woken up that morning to the sound of rain hitting the high windows in your bedroom, and you had longed to go outside in your thin nightwear and spread your arms and taste the air, smell the rain, feel it hit your body in fat droplets. Your entire being had ached. You’d tried to distract yourself, with what little there was in the barren prison cell that you called a bedroom – but when the door opened at four thirty exactly, and Kai had stood there with his face as impassive as ever, you had not been able to stop yourself.

Hand fastening around his upper arm (you shouldn’t touch him, you know you shouldn’t, but the same four walls are getting to you), you’d begged him;

“I want to go outside.”

If anyone else had touched him like that, they would already be splattered against the walls and floor. But all you get is a furrow of his eyebrows, careful fingers (gloved, of course; the latex against your skin always makes you shudder) pinching at your hand to get you to let go of him.

“No,” he says. “You’ll catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” you’re petulant, you know, frustration bubbling up in every cell of your body. “If I stay in here for one more day, I will tear myself into pieces.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.”

“Kai—”

“Don’t call me that.” His rebuttal is sharp. “You know I’m doing this for your own good.”

Your face twists into something ugly. Overhaul hates it when you do that; hates the way your brow wrinkles, your mouth moves, your normally lovely face (one of very few he can bear to look at unmasked and not feel as though he is going to get sick from merely breathing the same air of you) marred.

“You’re not,” you hiss at him. “You’re doing this because you’re fucked up! Because you’ve got some weird fucking ideas about what’s clean and what’s unclean, because you’re on a power trip, because you don’t care about other people--” Your voice is pitching and modulating, all of the things that you usually try and keep balled up inside of you spilling out that the floodgates of how unhappy you are is open.

You’re breathing heavy as Overhaul, clearly irked by what you’re saying, tugs at the wrist of one of his surgical gloves. If he’s going to kill you, good – at least it will be better than this, you think, your breath coming in short sharp pants after the outburst.

He lets go. His hands fall to his sides. His golden gaze on you is very level.

“You’re hysterical,” he tells you. An exasperated laugh falls from your mouth.

“Yeah?” You ask him. “Of course I am. Do you know the last time I breathed fresh air?”

“Seven months, two weeks, three days.” He says it without blinking. Your shoulders tense. Has it really been that long? “You haven’t been ill once in that time. The world out there is filthy.”

“It’s normal to get sick,” you try and tell him, but Overhaul is moving forward; past the doorway, and into your room. The door clicks shut behind him, the sound of a lock ominous. You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with Kai in your bedroom.

In the medical examination rooms, sure. In his office. In common areas, back when he was just the boss’ troubled protege and not the boss himself--

His eyebrows twitch in disgust as he notices the dust on your bookshelves. You’d stopped letting any of the cleaners in here a month ago; you’d refused to clean in the mean time, taking whatever small victory against your captor that you could.

“You’ll give yourself respiratory issues,” he says.

“Good,” your voice is cold, but you realise you’ve backed away from him. For all of your attempts to stand up to him, you’re terrified. Everyone knows what he can do. “Better dead than here--”

Gloved fingers around your wrist, so tight you can practically feel them bruising.

“You don’t mean that,” he says. His voice has gotten softer, cajoling. You’re trembling in his grip. “I told you. You’re hysterical.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying,” you say, but your words feel like you’re spitting them out around a mouthful of gravel. “I—I’m calm--”

Your knees knock against your bed, but Overhaul is still clinging to you; still too close. Your heart is beating so fast that you can hear it pounding in your ears.

“You’re not. You’re hysterical.” He repeats it, calmly. The hand not on your wrist reaches up and cups your face, a gloved thumb stroking across your cheek as if you’re the most delicate thing he’s ever touched. The scent of the latex is overwhelming. “But that’s alright. It’s not your fault.” He clicks his tongue behind the mask. “It’s mine. All of this checking for the physical sickness, and I didn’t think about checking your head.”

You fall onto the bed as his knees knock against yours, your back hitting the wall. It’s just a plain, single bed; rumpled sheets, because you’d fought against any attempt for someone to come in and collect your laundry, too. Overhaul looks silly in your room, you think dimly; like a huge black crow in the nest of a small, frightened wren.

“If you fight,” he tells you, “I’ll disassemble you. I’d rather not. I don’t want to taint you by using my quirk. But . . .” He’s sinking to his knees in front of you, those same methodical hands pushing up the skirt of your dress. “If I did, I’d get a blank mind to work with. I won’t hesitate. But I’d still rather simply fix you without having to break you into pieces first.”

You know him too well to think that he’s bluffing.

After all of the vitriol you’ve spat at him, he’s unwilling to kill you. Would it be worse, to be mindless and brainless under Kai’s quirk? You’ve heard some of his failed experiments before; babbling, drooling, broken things. He’s killed them sometimes just to put them out of their misery.

What if he did that, and your mind remained perfectly capable – just utterly unable to communicate with your body? A prisoner in your own skin. Worse than even now. You swallow back the lump of fear.

“H-how are you going to do that?” You ask him.

You start at how cold the gloved fingers are on your bare thighs, as Overhaul pushes them apart. Cold fear prickles down your spine. You’re too scared to fight back, but everything he’s doing is making you want to run.

“Did you know,” Overhaul says, those same hands sliding higher, to tug at the waistband of your underwear. “In the past, there were rumours that doctors would cure hysteria by genital massage and stimulation?”

His words are very clinical, but there’s a thickness to his voice behind the mask that fills you with revulsion.

“It might be nonsense, of course,” he says. Your underwear is being tugged down, pulled around your thighs, your knees, your ankle. “They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth--”

“Kai—” Your voice is a soft whine, fear-filled. This time, he doesn’t snap at you for calling him by the name he’s left behind. He simply says;

“Spread your legs.”

You don’t want to. But you want to risk what he’s threatening you with even less, so you tearfully open them as wide as you can go. He shifts forward, and the tip of the beaked mask digs into your inner thigh as he studies you like you’re nothing more than a diagram, not a living, breathing person--

“Next time I’ll have lubricant ready,” he says, under his breath, and your heart seizes up at the implication that whatever he’s going to do to you, there’ll be a next time.

You start at the sensation of gloved fingers gently parting the lips of your sex, Overhaul’s golden eyes drinking in the sight of you spread open and bare. You’re shaking, but for some reason the way he’s looking at you – the utter concentration in his eyes – makes a curl of heat flare deep inside of you.

“Don’t,” you breathe, trying not to squirm. “Please--”

“I don’t want to have to,” he says. His tone remains calm, unbothered. “I’m doing it for your own good, you know that. Just helping you along.” One finger slides through the slit; the sensation of the gloves against your most intimate, heated parts makes the muscles in your thighs clench. It’s . . . not exactly unpleasant, but neither it is pleasant. “Do you think I’m getting any pleasure out of this?”

He doesn’t like getting his hands dirty. You know this; everyone knows this. If this particular thought was so unpleasant to him, you don’t doubt he’d have found somebody else to do it (the thought of one of the other members of the Shie Hassaikai doing this to you fills you with even more revulsion than the idea of Overhaul himself). But you can’t say that out loud. Not after what he’s threatened. So you press your lips together and shake your head, gasp dying in your throat as one of Overhaul’s latex-covered fingers prods gently around your opening.

“You’re getting wet,” he tells you, as if you can’t feel the shameful slick beginning to leak from you. “That will make this easier. Good.”

You hate that the praise makes another jolt of arousal go through you. You don’t want to like the feeling of his gloves, rubbing at your heated cunt; the sensation of a fingertip circling around your entrance, brushing the bud of your clit and making you want to clamp your thighs around his hand.

He sinks the tip of one finger inside of you and you jerk, your hips out of your control as you try and sink away from the intrusion. Overhaul clicks his tongue again in annoyance at you. The hand holding the lips of your cunt open moves, to land on your hip and pin you between the bed and the wall so you can’t squirm again.

“I’ll sedate you next time, if I have to,” he says. “I’m not getting anything out of this. I’d prefer not to have to do it at all--”

He’s lying. You know he is. But you can’t call him out for it, so you press your trembling lips together and try to stop tears spilling out from your lash line as the finger inside of you sinks further and further inside, past his first knuckle, right down to the base.

He crooks it inside of you and your hands curl into the bedsheets, nails digging into your palms through cotton. His touch is curious, exploratory; has he ever actually done this to anybody before? He slides over a rough patch inside of you with the latex-tipped finger and a moan escapes your mouth against your will, your head falling back against the wall. Narrowed golden eyes look up at you as he repeats the motion; taking in the gloss of your lips, the widening of your eyes, the way your shoulders are shaking up and down.

You can feel yourself pumping more slick out; helping the glide of his finger inside of you, as he begins to carefully thrust it in and out of you. His touch is made all the more impersonal by the mask obscuring everything but his eyes and eyebrows; you can’t even hear him breathing.

Your cunt is fluttering around him, pleasure swarming you in breathless waves as he withdraws his finger entirely. He lifts the glove to his eyeline, looking only vaguely interested in how the white latex glimmers with your arousal.

“I’m going to use two now,” he tells you – and that is all the warning you get before two fingers beside one another are opening you up, scissoring your tight channel apart with an ache that you feel up to your hips. You bite back the whimper, but you’re unable to stop the choked breaths that are falling from you as he fucks you with them in steady, constant thrusts.

A covered thumb brushes your clit; swollen, now. Sensitive. Standing to attention. Your hips attempt to jerk in his hold once more, a strangled noise that’s neither pleasured nor pain falling from your throat. You’ve touched yourself, of course you have – even recently, just to try and assuage some of the boredom that fills your exactly-the-same days – but Overhaul’s fingers and thumbs and touch on you are so entirely different from that.

He continues his assault over your clit, those same eyes watching you with that same detached, clinical disposition that he’s had most of the time. There’s a cast to them that suggests there’s something more, but whatever emotion – if, indeed, he’s still capable of that – he’s feeling about having you at his mercy in this way has been pushed to the back of his mind as his thumb rolls and pinches at the bud.

Your body goes all-over heat, Overhaul’s fingers still pumping in and out of you, the slick noises of your shaming wetness echoing around the prison of the four walls you’ve spent seven months in. You’re teetering on the edge of something, hot and needy and wanting – and as Overhaul’s thumb sweeps over your poor aching clit again, you tilt your hips forward for as much stimulation as you can--

And he pulls his fingers out of you.

The heat fades into nothingness as you let out a noise of disappointment. Overhaul’s head tilts to one side, considering.

“What do you want?” He asks you. “Say it.”

No. You don’t ‘want’. He’s wrong. You keep your mouth pressed tight now that the damning noise has fallen out of it; you have managed to not let the tears trembling in your eyes spill forth. Your gaze meets his, defiant and tired and afraid all at once.

“Alright,” he sighs. “If you’re going to carry on being difficult.”

He does it again; his fingers plunging into you, scissoring you apart, rubbing against your folds with a practised agility now that he’s done it for the first time. He has always been a fast learner; always been observant. His thumb is back on your clit with ceaseless assault, and all over again you feel heat begin to build up; tension that crawls into every crevice of your being and worms its way deep inside you despite how badly you don’t want this.

The hand holding your hip loosens somewhat, allowing you to messily thrust your hips into Overhaul’s stimulation. You’re torn; you shouldn’t want to hump against the gloved fingers stimulating you, you should be wriggling and squirming away. But it feels so good; even with the skin-tight covering of rubbery latex, Overhaul’s fingers seem to find every one of your weak points and exploit them.

There it is again, building up on you; a ball of tension in your stomach being gradually wound tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your hips flex against his hand, your fingers clenching and unclenching on the bedsheet--

He denies you the peak of your orgasm for the second time.

And a third.

And a fourth.

“Kai--!” You’re too far gone to even think, after the pleasure has been pulled from you so cruelly, over and over again. The tears spill over your cheeks., rolling down in fat, shaming droplets. Overhaul’s eyes narrow.

“No,” he says, vehement – more emotion in his voice than you’ve heard all day. “You know what to call me.”

You know what he wants you to call him. You know that he wants to leave his old name behind, start again, be someone who can drag the Shie Hassaikai out of the shadows and into light and power once again – and he thinks that the name will help. You gurgle out a sobbing, strangled noise;

“O-Overhaul, please--”

Three fingers are plunged as deep inside of you as they can go, crooked to rub against your sweet spot; as Overhaul murmurs, detached but soft;

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

They thrust into you, his thumb rubbing your clit with firm, certain strokes – and this time, as the orgasm rushes up on you all at once, he doesn’t stop. He fucks you with his fingers through it, his thumb not ceasing the circling. Pleasure washes over you, finally, in great waves and crests. You feel yourself gush on his fingers, soaking him in your wetness (his eyebrows furrow again, at how close your fluid comes to spilling over his bared wrist; but you are too relieved to think about anything other than finally getting what you need).

Your hips flex, gasps falling from your mouth with every thrust of them – and you expect Overhaul to pull his fingers out of you. To stop touching you. Perhaps to strip off his gloves and put on a new pair – you know he always carries spares – and sneer at you as he walks out of the room.

But Overhaul’s fingers do not move from inside of you. The fierce rhythm of his fucking and petting and rubbing does not stop, even as the final aftershocks of your orgasm clench loosely about him and his constant stimulation becomes more of an annoyance than anything else on heated, sensitive skin.

You squirm, trying to push your thighs together to get him to stop touching you – but the hand not fucking you forces your thighs to stay parted with the curl of fingers into supple flesh, leaving you helpless to do anything but let him carry on touching you. Carry on fucking you.

A short, sharp shock of an orgasm rips through you as he swirls his thumb over your clit just so, and you realise that you’re drooling down yourself as well as panting; helpless and sloppy, utterly unable to do anything except lie there and take it until Overhaul decides he’s had enough of touching you.

You come, what? Twice more? Thrice? Until the pulsing of your channel is painful, your skin feeling red raw, your whimpers into the ceiling dry and broken. Only then does he pull his fingers out of you with a lewd pop.

A gush of your fluid that his fingers were stoppering soaks your bedsheets, and you watch, dazed, as Overhaul stands up. He looks down at you for just one moment, that stretches unbearably long in the heat-and-sex soaked atmosphere of the room.

He strips his gloves off of his hands, eyebrows twitching in disgust as he leaves the crumpled latex on your bedside table. He’s sliding on another pair as he speaks;

“Feel better?”

No. No, you don’t. You feel worse. You feel disgusted and violated and aching, your body over-stimulated and exhausted, sweat and drool and bodily fluids clinging to your skin. But if you tell Overhaul that--

“Yes,” you say, voice very soft and small and weak. You cannot see his mouth, but you see the way his eyes flash happily, the overall sensation of him smiling.

Why does Overhaul’s smile make you so scared, when Kai’s smile used to just make you feel warm?

“We’ll need to do it a few more times,” he tells you, as your blood runs to ice in your veins. “Such maladies aren’t cured in a day, after all. But . . .” He turns, rearranging himself carefully, his mask readjusted. You can’t see him as he speaks the next words. “I’d like to try some of the other suggested remedies, too.”

You think of his earlier words.

‘They theorised that the best cure was regular intercourse, male semen, pregnancy and childbirth.’

You’re never going to escape, are you? You’re going to be trapped in this compound until the day you die, and Overhaul is going to think that he’s keeping you safe--

“Take a shower,” he says to you, as he opens the door. It is not a suggestion. “And stop not letting the maids come in here to clean. I’m not having you get sick.”

You think he might be the sick one.

#overhaul x reader #yandere overhaul #overhaul smut #overhaul x you #chisaki kai x reader #bnha smut #bnha x reader #dark content for ts #5555 event fic #not sfw text #writing #afab reader #fem pronouns #misogyny for ts #bnha posting #medical kink for ts #non consent for ts #dub con for ts #non con for ts

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peachoony · 3 years

Text

chasing love - one

Genre: mafia!au, smut, arranged marriage

Warnings: blood, kidnaping, basically violence, smut

Word count: 3.2k

Pairing: mafia leader!changkyun x fem!reader

A/N: yes another mafia lmaoo, but this will definitely have more parts. actually i had this au written for a very long time in my drafts so i thought i’d post it.

You greeted all the new guests with a smile while looking for your parents, who were talking to other guests. You walked to them, hoping you wouldn’t get interrupted by some auntie telling you how much you’ve grown up, since the last time she saw you. By the time you reached them they were already bowing goodbye to the guest.

“Dad the priest has arrived and Uncle Minho is asking for you.” You informed him and he nodded, leaving you alone with your mother.

Well actually not really mother. Your parents had passed away in a car accident, before you could even start collecting any memories with them and your biological father‘s brother – your now father – adopted you and now you called them mom and dad. They were just like your actual family.

„You look beautiful, y/n.“ Your mother smiled and you smiled back while looking down on you. You were wearing a baby pink silk dress with some accessories and your hair was lying with wavy curls.

„Thank you mom, but so do you. Still looking all young,” you said making her chuckle and playfully hit your arm.

“Stop it, will you?” She rolled her eyes playfully. “Can you go to up to Mirae and help her a bit with the preparations, I’ll come get you two when it’s time.” She continued and you nodded, mumbling a ‘sure’ before walking up the stairs to the bride’s room.

You knocked twice before walking in with a big smile, but you were rather greeted with an empty room.

“Mirae?” You said and silence answered you.

You opened the bathroom door but nothing. Where is she? You walked further into the big room and your face fell into a deep frown, when you saw Mirae’s wedding dress on the bed. You immediately walked to the bed and your eyes found a folded paper next to it.

No. No she can’t do that. Not today.

With shaking hands you picked it up slowly opening it, scared of confirming your biggest nightmare.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m sorry I haven’t told you this before and It’s probably too late to fix anything, but I can’t marry Changkyun. I tried to force myself but the feelings aren’t there anymore. I fell in love with someone else and, before I could’ve done something that could’ve hurt him more I decided to leave all this behind. Don’t try to find me, I’m happy.

~ Jeon Mirae

You stood there for a while, slowly letting your arms fall next to you, grasping the letter tightly. It took you a moment to realise what just happened, but when it did it came crashing down on you like a tsunami. You blinked a couple of times, still unsure what to do as anxiety started taking over you.

You opened the door, running through the hallways trying to find your parents as you placed a hand against your forehead, but before you reached the stairs you ran into a bigger figure making you stumble back. You looked up, your eyes meeting the ones, you wanted to see the least right now.

“Y/n, I’m sorry I didn’t see you.” He apologized, his icy expression not leaving his face, as always.

You looked at him with widened eyes, still grasping onto that piece of paper. His eyes scanned your face and he tilted his face.

“Why are you crying?” He suddenly asked, making you sniff. You were crying?

“I…” you started still at a loss of words. “Is everything okay?” He asked, now frowning.

“Mirae…” you said, getting his attention now. “What’s with Mirae? Is she okay?” He was clearly confused on what’s going on.

You nervously looked around, going through a panic attack.

You’ve been walking on heels for years now, but suddenly you couldn’t even stand on them. You needed to sit down with your wobbling leg. How will you tell him that?

“Y/n what happened to Mirae,” he said again louder, stepping closer and you gulped, suddenly scared of him.

“Mirae, she...is not in her r-room,” you choked out, hands shaking when you held up the letter. Changkyun looked at the letter then back to you before grabbing it as his eyes slid from left to right.

Slowly the letter slipped from his hands and landed on his neatly polished shoes. He stared into nothing, before coming back to his senses. You expected him to at least show some emotions, but he just stood there with a clenched jaw. His eyes met yours and you both looked at each other for a solid minute.

“She did what?” Your father yelled out standing up, making the chair fall to the ground.

“We can’t cancel the wedding,” Changkyun’s father said, shaking his head. “What will the people say? They will look down on us.” He added.

“I’m so sorry Minho, If I had known she would do that…” he trailed off and your mother placed a hand on his shoulder.

Changkyun didn’t say anything, while sitting on the couch. His cold eyes looked into nothing with his hand rubbing his jaw.

You sat on the bed still looking at her million dollar wedding dress. Their voices faded and your eyes went back to the letter and you sighed silently. When your name fell, you looked up confused on why you were relevant in this conversation.

“Right, why can’t y/n marry him?” Changkyun’s father said.

“What?” You blurred out, instantly covering your mouth with your hand. “I mean...How can I do this? This is not my place,” you explained and your mother walked to you.

“Y/n right now is not the time, please do us that one favor. Everyone is outside waiting.” Your mother spoke up and you looked over to Changkyun, but he didn’t seem to care what was happening, blinking a couple of times you looked down. “People will look down on us y/n. What image will we bring across? They will take us a joke,” she added and you frowned, deeply in your thoughts.

“Y/n, you won’t regret this decision, I promise you that,” Chanwoo, Changkyun’s brother said this time.

You looked up into the mirror and here you were in a wedding dress, that wasn’t even yours, just like the place as Im Changkyun’s wife. Your heart pounded against your chest as your father walked with you to the hall. You liked Changkyun, maybe more than you were allowed to. You didn’t know when those feelings took over your heart, since it was pretty obvious that your families would form an alliance of the clan’s, but the moment Changkyun’s family asked for Mirae’s hand in marriage, your heart broke into millions of pieces. You were honestly still hoping somewhere deep in your heart that it would’ve been you. That it would’ve been you he fell in love with, but who were you fooling? Mirae was always the prettier one out of you two, always the one everyone liked more. She had all the friends and the lovers. How could you even think you can compete against her? Of course he would choose her, of course he would choose a pretty, outgoing and loveable wife. All these years you pushed your feelings aside and now that you’ve finally mastered hiding those feelings, you’re becoming his wife. You wanted him to be yours secretly for so long, but not like this. Not as a replacement of his actual love. Not as his last option.

“I’m so sorry,” your father spoke up, making you look at him. “You don’t deserve this y/n. You’re not supposed to clean after your sister's mistake,” he continued clearly ashamed.

You stayed silent, not sure what exactly to say. “If you don’t want this, tell me now. I will manage something.” He seemed disappointed in himself.

You shook your head squeezing his arm. “Accepting someone else's daughter and actually treating her like your own kid is not easy. Despite Mirae being your real daughter you always treated us fairly, always making sure I have everything she had. I never felt like an orphan, thanks to you dad.” You smiled as he looked at you with teary eyes.

“You’ve never let me down, now it’s my turn.” You added and he pulled you into a hug.

“You’re not an orphan and neither are you someone else's daughter,” he said after placing a kiss on your forehead. “You’re my daughter. And after today my only daughter.”

You sighed giving your best holding your tears back so you wouldn't ruin the make up as a smile spread over your face.

“I’ll make sure he treats you right, y/n.” Your father said and you nodded. “I know you will.”

If it wouldn’t be for Changkyun holding your hand, they would be shaking like crazy and when he slid in the ring you almost scoffed. This wasn’t supposed to be the finger the ring should be on, this shouldn’t be the hand he should be holding, this shouldn’t be your dress and this shouldn’t be your husband, but now it was.

You looked around the big room. You were in here once, because of your sister Mirae, but now you’re here as Changkyun’s wife. A sigh left your lips and you leaned back against the headboard, closing your eyes.

So this is your life now?

It was still hard to believe but it was best for you to get used to this, since you would only hurt yourself. Your eyes shot open at the sound of the door opening and you instantly sat up at the sight of Changkyun walking in.

He walked to his dresser, taking off his watch and tie without looking back at you.

“Changkyun,” you started clearing your throat as you stood up from the bed.

“I’m sorry all this happened and I know that I wasn’t supposed to be here today. This is not my place but it happened and I promise to not bother you at all.”

He turned around blankly staring at you and you gulped, clearly uncomfortable under his piercing gaze. You were about to speak up, but he suddenly walked into your direction making you stumble back, falling back on the bed.

“Is that all?” He asked and you shuddered at the harsch tone.

He grabbed your wrist, not as harsh as his tone, and pulled you with him to the door and the next thing you knew was him closing the door in front of your face. You stood there for a while, before you realized what just happened.

He threw out of his room.

You couldn’t believe you were standing in front of your husband's room, after he just kicked you out. Tears started gathering at the corner of your eyes and all you wanted to do was fall to your knees and cry. You knew that you wouldn’t get the love and affection from Changkyun as a husband, but if you knew that he would straight up throw you away like a piece of shit, you would’ve definitely reconsidered this marriage. You would’ve saved you from this hell. You couldn't spend the rest of your life like that, not with your own husband treating you like a complete stranger. The thought of living like that just brought more tears into your eyes. You wanted to go home, to your father. You wanted to go back to him. You don’t want this life.

“Y/n?” You suddenly heard someone call your name and you froze, scared to turn around and face whoever was standing there. You slowly turned around looking straight into Chanwoo's eyes.

“Do you need anything?” He asked confused as to why you were standing here in the hallway at almost midnight. You blinked a couple of times, panicking inside and thinking of a plausible answer.

“Uh no…thank you,” you stuttered. He nodded slowly looking to Changkyuns door then you. “Why are you not going in?” He asked with an raised eyebrow and you opened your mouth just to close it again, left with no answer.

“He kicked you out didn’t he?” He sighed and you looked away, clearly embarrassed at the fact that you got kicked out from your own husband.

“That jerk,” he mumbled and started taking steps towards the door, but you immediately grabbed his arm. “No please don’t say anything to him,” you said and he frowned.

“Y/n, he can’t do this. Let me talk some sense into him,” he said and you shook your head. “Chanwoo, please just...don’t.” Your begging made him sigh again and he took a step back.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked you after he walked you to the guest room.

You stayed silent not knowing the answer to his question either. Why were you doing this? Better said why was Changkyun doing this? Why does he hate you so much? Was it really your fault that your sister decided to run away? That you got talked into marrying him?

“He doesn’t deserve you,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry you got into this situation.” His last words before he disappeared wishing you a good night.

You sat there for a while and before you knew the tears started running down your face.

You opened your eyes as you felt someone gently shake your shoulder. “Miss, good morning,” a woman smiled and you knew she was one of the workers here. You sat up and blinked the sleep away, before you realized you didn’t have the chance to change, still sitting here in your wedding dress.

“Breakfast is ready in 30 minutes. Please freshen up, I’ll bring you your clothes.” She informed you and you nodded still in the process of waking up.

When she left you sighed and fell back into the bed. You barely got any sleep, all you did was cry and miss your parents. What were they doing right now?

After recalling last night you stood up and walked to your, well Changkyun’s room and thank god he wasn’t there. You quickly got out of your dress straight to the shower and the moment the warm water hit your skin you closed your eyes. You felt your muscles relax, especially after yesterday where you slept in a dress in the most uncomfortable position. After a while you heard the door open and you remembered the worker telling you she will bring you your clothes.

“Place my clothes on the island next to the bathtub, please.” You said, but when you heard Changkyuns voice you almost jumped out of your own skin.

“I don’t have your clothes,” he said and you heard shuffling before he disappeared again and you thanked all the seven seas that your shower glass was dimmed due to the warm water. The moment the door closed you let out the breath you were holding in. Of course this would happen with your luck.

You slipped into your heels before walking down hesitantly, still ashamed of what happened back in the room. When you walked into the dining hall you saw an unfamiliar girl sitting next to Changkyun while pinching his cheeks.

“You’re so skinny gosh, what are you guys feeding my poor baby brother?” She said playfully and you remembered Mirae telling you he has a sister, but she lives in the states due to work which meant she was rarely even here. Her eyes landed on you and she smiled.

“Oh hey, aren’t you Mirae’s sister y/n?” She asked and you nodded slowly. “Uhm, yeah that’s me.” Why was she mentioning her name?

Her next words felt like a slap into your face. “Where is Mirae though?” She asked, still smiling and everyone fell silent. You didn’t dare to move looking away to Changkyun, but he clenched his jaw. Chanwoo slapped her arm and she frowned.

“I’m sorry y/n, she just arrived and we didn’t had the chance to tell her.” He explained and nodded to the seat next to Changkyun with a smile.

“Join us.”

“Didn’t tell me what?” She asked looking at her parents, but Chanwoo silently gave her a sign that he would explain everything once they were alone.

To say the least – the breakfast was awkward. Changkyun didn’t even finish his food before he excused himself for work and honestly you didn’t feel like eating at all, so you just had some fruit to not completely come off as rude.

The moment you walked upstairs you let out a sigh, happy that you had the most awkward moment behind you, but when you heard your name you looked up.

“I’m sorry for what I said in the dining hall. I didn’t know all of this happened, I was just assuming you were here to visit Mirae.” Kyuhyun's sister carefully took a step closer. “It was so insensitive of me to speak without thinking,” she scoffed and you shook your head.

“Oh no, don’t worry about that. You didn’t know, since you just arrived today. It’s fine,” you smiled at her and she took a deep breath. “Okay good, I was so scared that you might be upset.” She laughed. “Oh and I’m Gyuri.”

How weird is it that you were just now finding out your husband's sister's name. Mirae never really spoke much about her or the family at all. She was mainly focused on Changkyun, but here and there said something about his family. You knew his family too, exchanging a couple of words on galas and events, but more than the basics you weren’t that informed about them. Especially Changkyun, he was always a mystery to you, with his secretive persona. You were always curious on how Changkyun was with Mirae, since he didn’t seem to be a romantic and affectionate person, but she didn’t really give you any details.

After Gyuri offered you to always talk to her when you needed something, you thanked her and headed back to your room. You closed the door behind you and leaned against it, but before you had the chance to drown in your thoughts your phone on the dresser started ringing, showing up your fathers contact.

“Hey dad,” you said and for the first time after your wedding you smiled that genuine.

“Oh wow someone is extra happy,” he chuckled at the other side of the phone.

“I missed you dad.”

“I missed you too y/n,” he said and you could hear the car engine in the back.

“Are you going somewhere?” You asked leaned against the dresser. “Oh yeah I’m on the way to a meeting, so I thought I’ll just quickly have a talk with you.” He explained and you nodded. “I see, but don’t overwork,” you reminded him and he chuckled.

“Yeah yeah don’t worry. How is Changkyun?”

Your smile faded as you remembered everything that happened yesterday. “He is good,” you said, but he sighed. “That’s not what I mean, I’m going to see him in that meeting anyways. How is Changkyung treating you y/n?” He asked more specifically and you bit down on your lower lip. “Don’t worry dad he is good to me.”

Yeah you’re lying, but things will change and then it won’t be a lie...right?

> chasing love masterlist <

#monsta x #monsta x mafia #monsta x imagines #monsta x smut #monsta x x reader #monsta x scenarios #monsta x fluff #im changkyun #changkyun x reader #changkyun smut #changkyun imagines

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juminsmysticmc · 2 years

Note

Heyyy...This is my first time requesting something, so I'm terribly sorry if this message is posted at the wrong place, or if I accidentally offend someone.

**Im really nervous lol**

Could you do a scenario where 707 comforts an MC who was fat shammed by a clothing store employee? (A bit angsty and fluff?)

It's totally fine if you say no to this, I am so so sorry if i requested something you're uncomfortable with.

Love youuu so much, I hope you and your family recover well <3

Seven x Mc who gets comforted because she was fat shamed in a clothing store / Trigger Warnings!

Hey! Hope you liked my story! Please tell me your thoughts, and like and reblog if you liked the One Shot! And I hope, that this never happened to anyone of you! I read some Buzzfeed stories to get some inspiration and was rather shocked to see what people had to go through…I know this only from doctors and it’s always hurtful to hear them say bad things about your weight…

This One Shot contains triggers, mention of body shaming

It was supposed to be a funny afternoon between you and your fiancé as well as his twin brother. The three of you walked up and down the street of the wall in the middle of Seoul. Your hand was being held by Saeyoung’s warm hand. His fingers were sofly tapping your hand in an odd rhythm as you looked at all the dresses in the shop windows. ,,You still need a dress for the party in two weeks, right?’’ Saeyoung suddenly asked you, getting his twin brother’s attention, who was happily licking the ice cream the three of you bought a few minutes ago. ,,Yeah, that's true. I can’t wear the same dress twice as the host, can I?’’ you asked him, licking the almost melting ice cream. You had your favorite one - melon and cookies and it honestly felt so good to be able to eat ice cream once again as you were on a diet for your upcoming wedding.

Today was your cheat day, the reason why the three of you went out to eat lunch outside and got a dessert afterwards.

,,Well, you can wear it twice. No one cares or remembers, I think,’’ he said. The three of you were now already standing a bit longer in front of the shop, enjoying the ice cream and discussing whether or not you had to enter the shop. Saeran observed the both of you, continuing to eat his ice cream. He had decided to just go with the flow. He didn’t care if he had to sit in front of the fitting room to see you in thousands of dresses. He loved you like a sister so he was totally okay with it.

You, on the other hand, finally noticed a group of women who just entered the shop, whispering and glaring at you, making you feel rather uncomfortable. Saeyoung, however, who didn’t notice, managed to get you into the shop as soon as your ice cream was finished, something you deeply regretted by the end of the day. The three of you walked around the shop and looked at all the dresses. The colorful clothes on the racks made you smile as you touched the softness of the clothes.

,,I think this dress would fit you. It has the color of my necktie,’’ Saeyoung commented, pulling out a blue dress. ,,It’s kinda too… dark, you know? I would like to wear something brighter this time, but if it matches your tie-’’ ,,I can manage to wear another tie,’’ he smiled and put the dress away. However, as soon as he did, you could hear the group of women whisper again. ,,Dark clothes would make her slimmer though,’’ someone laughed, making your face turn a deep red. You tried to ignore them as you kept looking at the dresses. One was in a dark purple color with sparkles, something that totally caught your attention, despite not being something you wanted to wear for the RFA party. But since it reminded you of space, you wanted to show it to Saeyoung. As soon as you turned around however, someone other than Saeyoung stood in front of you.

The shop assistant glared at you and quickly took the dress from you, looking you up and down. ,,I don’t want any broken zippers on my clothes. This is one of the latest collections so I can’t give it to you. The plus size section is on the other side. We won’t have anything in your size here,’’ she loudly said so that everyone heard her, even the group of women, who couldn't help but laugh at the words the woman directed at you.

,,Maybe if she didn’t eat the ice cream earlier she wouldn’t have such a problem finding a dress,’’ someone said, making you feel bad. You were uncomfortable, embarrassed, and ashamed. You put your arms around your body as your lips began to tremble. You could feel how hard it was to breathe and how suffocating you were feeling in that very moment.

Why couldn’t you just vanish? You were already on the verge of tears when your eyes spotted Saeyoung and Saeran. The love of your life had to witness one of your worst nightmares, an embarrassing end for a day which seemed to have started so well. However, Saeyoung and Saeran weren’t embarrassed because you didn’t seem to fit into the dress. On the other hand, the two men were furious that the woman they loved dearly was being harassed, almost crying and having to go through such an embarrassing scenario. Saeyoung didn’t wait a second longer to grab your wrist and pull you to him before he hissed at the shop assistant that this was the worst customer service he ever witnessed and that she should be glad that he would simply leave the shop instead of making a fuss.

As soon as the three of you were out again, you could take a deep breath before a hiccup left your lips. The hot tears were flowing out as your whole body trembled. You felt bad, uncomfortable, and fat. Suddenly, all the positive thoughts about your body vanished as only hate for your figure was left. But Saeyoung didn’t wait any longer to hug your trembling body, his strong chest pressed against your face as you sobbed into him. ,,Let’s go over there,’’ Saeran said, standing in front of the door wasn’t the best idea.

,,You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I don’t care what those women said. They don’t understand anything. They didn’t care to know you better, to know why you ate the ice cream, they just threw some prejudices about you and your body into the room. Please don’t care about their words, mhm?’’ he whispered, his nose touching your wet cheek. ,,I… feel so ugly right now,’’ you hiccuped. ,,I know myself that I’m not like the other girls, I just wanted to show you the d… dress because it… it was like the space station,’’ you sobbed, finally being able to tell him. ,,Is that so? I only had eyes for you. I didn’t see the dress…,’’he flirted, making you finally laugh.

,,Shall we go home?’’ he asked you, just now noticing that his brother wasn’t around them anymore. Just when you began to worry, Saeran appeared again, carrying a bag with something that looked like a cake box as he slowly began to blush. ,,So that you could feel better… cakes are always the best…’’ he mumbled. ,,Thank you, you are so sweet!’’ you sobbed again and nodded.

The three of you spent the day at home and ate the delicious cake.

ᗰᗩᔕTEᖇᒪIᔕT

16.02.2022 // 21:50 MEST

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gb-patch · 3 years

Text

Ask Answers: July 10th

I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!

Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.

For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?

There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.

Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0

The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.

Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.

I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.

Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!

Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!

idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately

Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.

Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference!

Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.

I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀

I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!

I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked.

Thank you for reporting ^^

I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~

There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!

hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :)

I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.

Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore

This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.

HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC

Thank you for getting it!

Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩

Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.

Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right?

Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.

Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty!

Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart

Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe?

Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.

Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?

No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.

Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in?

You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!

Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more!

I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.

is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch?

A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.

I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that.

If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.

Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :)

It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.

I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)

L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!

I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.

Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?

I understand if it's too complicated, just curious

Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.

playing our life > anything else

Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂).

Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.

Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha

Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!

Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu

No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.

Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3

They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.

I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4?

Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.

Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol

Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.

Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc.

It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.

In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before!

Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.

I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that?

It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.

I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever?

Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.

hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :>

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!

Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game?

OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.

I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1.

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.

As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?

They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!

Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.

Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?

You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.

Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you?

No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.

Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing?

Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.

Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc?

He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.

Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments?

Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.

hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.

sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.

Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.

I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<

Yes you can!

what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress?

That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games #all projects #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever

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jungxk · 3 years

Text

just one (viii)

summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x

warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 8k

tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

4 years ago

jimin hated yugyeom.

well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.

"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.

and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"

jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"

"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."

"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."

there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."

"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."

you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."

"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"

you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"

jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."

[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it

[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying

[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook

[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up

[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls

[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear

[you 11:46pm] i hate u

[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????

[you 11:54pm] REGULAR

jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.

"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"

"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."

"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"

jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"

"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"

"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."

"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."

jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"

yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."

"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."

he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.

"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.

"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.

"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"

jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"

"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."

"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."

"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."

jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.

the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.

by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.

and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?

did he?

jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.

"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"

you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold.

you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."

"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"

"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"

seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."

you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"

"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."

you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."

you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.

and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"

your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."

he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."

you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"

"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."

you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"

his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."

you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"

you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-

"...jungkook."

yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"

"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."

he nods politely. "hyung?"

even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."

"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.

you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?

"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.

you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"

"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."

his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"

"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"

"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"

jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."

you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."

"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."

"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.

"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"

"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."

"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"

"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"

"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."

"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"

dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"

"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."

"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"

he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.

"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."

cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.

jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."

"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."

they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.

to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.

jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.

"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"

"not hungry," you grumble against him.

"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"

"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.

jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."

"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"

"oh, i meant you being stupid."

you scoff. "cheers."

"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."

you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."

"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"

"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."

"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"

"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.

"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"

"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"

he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."

"jimin."

he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."

your blood runs cold. "what?"

jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"

"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"

he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."

"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."

"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"

"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"

his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."

suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."

"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.

"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."

suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"

"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."

and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-

you close your eyes. "i can't."

"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."

you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."

he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"

"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."

there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."

"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.

you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.

it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.

"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces.

"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"

"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.

taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."

"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."

"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."

you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"

"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."

"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."

"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."

you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"

taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."

you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"

"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."

you try not to scream at him. "how long?"

"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."

"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"

he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."

you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"

"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."

there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.

and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.

taehyung did.

when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-

"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."

"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"

you take his face in your hands and kiss him.

taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.

it's better than he dreamed.

"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook au #bts x reader #bts au #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin au #bts fic #jungkook fic #jimin fic #jungkook college au #jimin college au #bts college au #myfic

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