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aro-and-ace-memes-thoughts · 1 year

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I'm gonna copy/paste this to some other blogs too because I would like advice from people with different perspectives

Am I weird or inconsistant for wanting to marry a fellow aroace person?

Society today always ties mariage and love together but historically and legally (at least in my country) it was (is?) not the case. Mariage was a contract between two families to perpetuate the bloodline, to keep lands, goods and properties between them, to socially protect both parties and help them to enrich themself, and while love between the two individuals was always a nice addition it was not a viable reason to get married/divorced (that and the all "only hetero wedding" cause religion is always a party pooper, but it's an all other point).

At it's roots mariage is only a social and economic contract but today the only good reason to be married is romantic love? And I'm just 😐 about that.

Don't get me wrong, I find it fantastic that Love is now a primary variant when before a lot of couples where stuck together because the family didn't ask or care for for their consentement. But now it's the ONLY reason people will accept the mariage of others and when I try to explain myself that I want it as a partnership with a friend to live my life people tries to... Invalidate me?

Like I just want to meet a good friend (that could support living with me every day 😅) laugh with them, cry with them, support each other, and that we like it or not mariage is a way to do so cause the state loves families cause they are profitable💲💲

So the state offers (or is supposed to) socials advantages and economic safety to married couples that it doesn't to single people.

And while I kinda agree with the reasonning behind it, I'm also sad to be more subjected to instability because I don't feel romantic love.

I've asked it to different people (both lgbt and not) and I was called greedy because I only want to profite from the eco/social benefits of the mariage, and I was like Yes ??!! That's the reason why this contract exist ?? And it's a natural and beautiful thing when the two persons love each-other but it's bad, greedy, I'm a leech/a parasite that only want to suck the money out of the system for myself because it's for "helping to support the children of the family" But there is plenty of CisHet couples and LGBT couples that can't or doesn't want kids but are still allowed to marry, but I'm weird for wanting it?

Because I only love my friends and I'm not IN LOVE with them? Because I don't want to fuck them?

Why my platonic love towards my friends, peoples dear to my heart, is less valid than the Oh so beautiful, Oh so pure, Oh so sacro-saint romantique one ?!

I've also tried to convey my ideas through rough sketches of a little comic on another site and some told me they didn't see the point, others to "just found a roommate and stop being weird" and someone accused me of queerbaiting because I depicted myself (a girl) with another girl and I was told I wanted to profit from a queer audience without wanting to write a WlW story properly, and I don't know it hurted me to receive those replies, to not be able to tell what I wanted to do, what I was craving for, that I started crying on the spot it was the first time I felt so invalidate as an AroAce and it came from an other lgbt member, like shit lady I'm trying to express something difficult for me why did you felt the need to insult me like that !!!!??? I've also received creepy DMs from guys that wanted to help me discover thE ReAL DeAl fuck every one of them !!!!

I just want to find my soulmate in this stupid universe but I know mine will be a Friend, a sibling from a different family. We will eat as every other couples, we will arguing over the evening movie as every other couple, we will stress together over taxes and rent like every other couple, we will love each other but of a simple and serene love that only friendship can create, completely platonic but nonetheless true. BECAUSE WE WILL BE TWO RESPONSIBLES AND CONSENTENT ADULTS THAT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT

I just want an other idiot to be a couple of idiots that helps each other to live in a society that despise single people and exposed them as failure to enforce it's own nuclear family model

And if I want us to signed a stupid mariage contract together I dont understand why everyone else tries so hard to make it weird !!!!!!

I'm sorry if it appears rude, I'm still under the heat of the emotion and not an english speaker

I want comment ? advice ? answer ? acknowledgment ? I dont know am I actually the weirdo ? 😞

Hi anon,

I apologise for taking so long to respond to this. I hope your life is going well :)

No, I don't think you're weird, inconsistent or greedy for wanting to marry someone platonically for tax benefits. It's not wrong to want the same benefits as romantic couples without forcing yourself into a romantic relationship. As long as both you and your partner consent to it, it’s totally fine!

This is not the first time I hear about aspecs wanting to marry for tax benefits. The concept is quite present in examples of relationship dynamics in qprs (queer-platonic relationships, a type of relationship that isn't romantic but goes beyond the social norms for friendships).

Aros already have a natural disadvantage to this system and because of that we won't ever be able to marry for romantic reasons. We're at a disadvantage for something we can't control and that's what many allo people don't understand. You want to marry because of (a different kind of) love, but even if it was exclusively for money benefits, it's none of other people's businesses.

I'm sorry you faced so much backlash. Those people were extremely rude. Real people can't "queerbait", that's a concept applied to fictional characters only; those people who told you to just find a roommate wouldn't certainly be happy to just be a roommate with a romantic partner. As I said, those people fail to understand that it's not a choice to not be romantically attracted to someone and probably fail to think outside of their allo experience and the amatonormative society. It's really unfortunate though that queer people, who should be supporting you, are the ones being hateful.

So basically, it's totally fine to want marriage for non-romantic reasons. Other people think they know what is best for you but they don't. Follow your own path and think of your and your partner's happiness before other's opinions. There's nothing wrong to benefiting from a societal contract like marriage. Honestly I think it's a smart choice.

#I'm going to write some notes here that I didn't know how to put in the main text #it's awful the amount of aphobia in the general lgbtq+ community #our existence isn't queerbaiting and aspec fictional characters aren't queerbaiting either #headcanoning characters as aspec isn't homophobic (unfortubately there's many comments like that)#and the same is said in your comic which is awful #i received this around a year ago or even more #i was out of tumblr for many months #i started writing this answer but didn't finish and only had energy to see this again today #i know in a year many things change #maybe this anon already married?#either way i think it's important to not this for other aros too #on this post i specifically talked about aros with 0 romo attraction because it was the relevant group for this convo #i know not every aro is like that #also i cant read the first few tags unless i post haha #aromantic #aro #ask #anon #long post

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anonymouscheeses · 1 month

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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.

#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic #ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries #hazbin hotel sera #seraphim #hazbin sera #emily hazbin hotel #hazbin emily #hazbin hotel emily #emily seraphim #hazbin hotel #PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S #I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH #I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES #i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags #sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so #charlie is ALSO trans because i said so #i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but #i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans #rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh #like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her #sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art #fanart #artists on tumblr #digital art #*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL #like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨

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anipgarden · 9 months

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What Kind of Plants to Add

This is my sixth post in a series I’ll be making on how to increase biodiversity on a budget! I’m not an expert–just an enthusiast–but I hope something you find here helps!

I’d love to be able to give a quick and easy list of things to add, but frankly I can’t do that. I can strongly encourage you, however, to look at these categories of plants and do further research to discover what’s native to your area, so you can plant things that’ll have the most impact in your particular area.

With that being said, I will mention a few plants as examples. This is in no way, shape, or form me telling you that you have to or even should buy these specific plants. Not every plant works well in every place in every garden, not to even mention across countries. Above all, if you’re wondering what plants you should be adding, I can wholeheartedly say plants that are native to your area--or at least nonnative non-invasive.

Flowers

Flowers are some of the most common ways people work to increase biodiversity in their gardens, and who can blame them? Seeing pops of color out your window, and directly seeing the impact via butterflies and bees visiting the garden? It’s a win-win for us and the wildlife!

Flowers--especially native wildflowers--are a quick, easy, and cheap way to increase wildlife traffic in your garden. Perennial gardens are more likely to get you the most bang for your buck, as they’ll come back year after year if you treat them well. But don’t dismiss annuals--if you get ones that easily reseed, they’ll eagerly return on their own! If you can, do your best to ensure that the flowers you plant all have different blooming periods--that way, your garden can support wildlife throughout the year instead of for just one brief season.

Flowers are environmental super boosters. Their nectar and pollen can feed insects and birds, their stems and leaves can provide nesting materials for all sorts of creatures, and their seeds are a popular food source among birds at all times of the year.

Climbing Plants

Climbing plants can be fantastic options for maximizing your impact. If you have limited ground space, growing up can provide interest as well as additional habitat for all kinds of creatures.

Training plants up a trellis, fence, or bare wall offers food, shelter, and habitat. Trumpet vines, passionflowers, honeysuckles, and more will provide sweet nectar for pollinators as well as nesting and hiding spaces for other wildlife like birds, bugs, and lizards. Do note that in some cases, climbing plants can actually affect the structural integrity of walls and roofs if allowed to climb too much and too far along a house, so be careful.

Bushes/Shrubs

Bushes provide shelter for creatures, which then provides hunting grounds for other animals. Their fallen leaves and petals can be food and shelter for detritivores, amphibians, reptiles, and small mammals--and they also provide good cover for moving around the garden, for creatures who like to stay hidden. They can be a bit more pricey to obtain--unless you get cuttings or seeds and are willing to wait--but they’ll definitely be worth it, and they’re typically low-maintenance once they’re established.

Bonus points if you get a flowering and fruiting bush, like bottlebrush, serviceberry, lilac, or others. This’ll make your bushes not only a place of shelter, but a food source as well--and depending on the kind you pick, may be food for you too! Making a garden border with a series of bushes can be a great option to providing lots of habitat, if you can manage it.

Shrubs with pithy or hollow stems are excellent options for supporting solitary bees. Some examples you could look into are elderberry, raspberry, blackberry, or sumac.

Trees

Trees have a high up-front cost and take awhile to grow, but once they’re settled in place they provide crucial habitat to all kinds of creatures! Insects will be attracted to flowers they may provide, or to nest in the wood. Others may eat the leaves as food, or use them as nesting materials. Birds will perch and nest in trees, and feed off the fruits and seeds and insects that also use the tree. Squirrels also use trees as nesting places, piling up dead leaves into huge clusters to raise their young in, and will absolutely feast on any nuts the tree may provide. Mice, badgers, and more will feast on fallen fruits or seeds, and bats roost in the trunks when given the chance. Detritivores eat fallen leaves and decomposing fruits, providing further food for hunting creatures. Trees can also be good for us--they help block out noise and air pollution, and are the poster child for taking CO2 and making it breathable oxygen. Not to mention they can provide plenty of food for us, too. Nesting grounds, hunting grounds, shelter from weather, and more--trees are, in my opinion, likely to be the best way to boost biodiversity long-term. If you can get your hands on a sapling for cheap and can care for it for awhile, I’d definitely give it a shot! Make sure the tree won’t get too big for where you’re growing it, though--you’ve definitely gotta plan for the long-term before you plant any.

Some trees can be grown in containers. Though they won’t become gigantic branching behemoths, they’ll still do their part to support all the life that depends on them. Growing a tree from seed may take awhile, but could be an easy option to getting one if you have the patience--the trees are more than happy to help you, as they drop tons of seeds and fruit in fall for you to gather.

Groundcover

Bare soil is the enemy of microbial life in the soil, and while small pockets of bare soil can be great nesting places for bees and other insects, having swaths of empty soil should be avoided. Groundcover plants grow low to the ground in a sprawling habit, and will often spread quite easily on their own. This is a great way to provide shelter, keep soil temperatures cool, block out weeds, and give your soil life a chance to thrive.

Sometimes, ground covers don’t even have to be planted in the ground. Shallow-rooted plants like succulents, ferns, and alyssum can be planted into cracks in stone walls, and moss can be planted by making moss graffiti and painting it onto a surface. As with climbing plants, do make sure that you don’t cause extra damage to important walls and housing foundations.

Host Plants

Host plants get their own section, because plants of all kinds can be host plants for different creatures! It’s common to think only flowers can be host plants in the beginning, but in reality, many bushes and trees are host plants to dozens of species of butterflies and moths. Honestly, I feel that factor's not talked about enough. Look up what insects live in your area and what kind of host plants they need, and plant some if you can! Bonus points if you can plant a variety of them--I know that there’s hundreds of kinds of milkweed, each one flowering and leafing up around different times of the year. Planting several varieties of milkweed, then, would provide monarchs with food through several seasons, allowing many more of them to grow up in your garden!

Nectar Plants

Plants that provide nectar to insects is a great foundation to increasing biodiversity! This is, of course, many native wildflowers (and even nonnative wildflowers, though be sure they aren’t invasives who’ll do more harm than good), but many native bushes, vines, and trees will also provide nectar to hungry pollinators!

Keystone Species

To be frank, some plants can have a bigger impact than others in a landscape. By all means, every bit helps, but if you want to boost biodiversity quickly there are a few plants that can essentially serve as the backbone of local ecosystems that you can grow in anything from a balcony pot to a small patch of your backyard. These plants can be different depending on where you are, so do your research to find out what would be best to grow in your area. If you can’t get them all? That’s alright! But even hitting just a few of these target species really can do a lot.

That’s the end of this post! My next post is gonna be about things to keep in mind/continue to do once you get plants in the ground! Until then, I hope this advice was helpful! Feel free to reply with any questions, your success stories, or anything you think I may have forgotten to add in!

#biodiversity #solarpunk #gardening #outdoor gardening #ani rambles #out of queue #the biodiversity saga #sorry its been 2 months since I last posted to this series #I literally have everything drafted out I just got Busy because maannnnnnn animating a grad school capstone project all by yourself....#i should really start using my youtube channel to post my animations but they never feel Done so I just Dont #i dont have as many links in this one because... they weren't in the draft and any tumblr posts that came to mind I couldn't hunt down #either way i hope this was Helpful and Lit and All That Jazz #I might just post the other parts tomorrow so I can stop having that hanging over my head #and so I can get my sources masterpost out there so people can like. see I'm trying my best not to just talk out of my ass #anyways see yall

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hellishgayliath · 5 months

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hoi

I'm sick

there's gonna be very low activity from me

#bunsona #i havent been on tumblr in like nearly 5 days #I'm sure there's so much stuff on the dashboard i missed out on #i can only handle checking my notifs atm #i just have no energy for anything :U #hate that this happens before Christmas mann #My throat is fucked up #I wanted to do so many things this month too >:T

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diabolicjoy · 1 year

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mittens !!!! pattern X - i modified a bit because my yarn was a bit more thick, so i shortned a few rows of the colorwork & added the burnt orange details instead :)

#remember when i posted almost a month ago about a friend that commissioned some mittens #?#so yeah the one i was making initially turned out fine i suppose #i even posted the picture here #but the i noticed the sizing wasn’t right & the yarn i was using was sooo annoying to work it i just couldn’t get it right... it was also #like dyed like ombré? & the colors were a bit off. like each mitt had a different color like the weren’t even a pair...#but i was insisting too much like i undid & knitting that thing like +10 times #knitted*#so i decided so grab some yarn that i like for my mittens & that i’m already familiar with & found this pretty pattern & so!! ta-da!!#it’s so much nicer than the other one. also my friend wasn’t that specific & gave me a lot of liberty do to whatever #she gave me a general idea of the colors she liked so these are perfect #also the inspo pics she sent me all had this kinda fair isle design but at first i was a little intimidated so i barely did it on that one #first mitten that i had posted. so i’m glad i tried a diff pattern a managed to make these!!!!#anyway that’s basically what my month was all about lol worrying abt the mitts then finally finding a solution #also i got a commission from a instagram mutual to crochet a bag with that little sleepy snoopy design on it!! i’ve seen it on tumblr a few #times now & i’m excited to finish this project & finally get to it!! already bought the yarn & it’s so pretty #SO MANY TYPOS SORRY #girl knits world #knitting

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shipsonmymind · 1 year

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#starkid #nightmare time #nmt hey melissa #hey melissa #paul matthews #mine #idk if this has been done before if yes my bad #I was on a tumblr hiatus when this came out #and I didn’t watch it until a couple of days ago #so that’s why I am making so many of these 4 months later lol

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ternterntern0 · 6 days

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commision for @/DELLUYOUU on twitter !!

#my art #oc art #digital art #oc #artists on tumblr #illustration #original character #commission #illust #autodesk sketchbook #artwork #art #artist comms #my artwork #character art #blahhhhasdhiagdgasidgasidgausigdiua #this took like 5 months #ok not like fr fr 5 months but i restarted so many times...its ok #i think i like how it turned out :)

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belligerentbagel · 2 years

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oh no new blorbos have been identified

#ms. 'i will destroy anyone who wishes to hurt the people i love u__u' and mr. 'i got your flower captain'#the owl house #willow park #hunter #huntlow #draws #all you need to know is that i have been quietly mainlining owl house on repeat for the last month 🥺#the one post that goes 'i want widojest' / 'we have widojest at home' is eighty percent responsible for flipping the needle from #'huh this looks like a cute show; maybe i'll check it out sometime' over to #'......oh nooooo you are COMPELLED TO WATCH THIS NOW'#(DISCLAIMER there are SO MANY good points besides huntlow to owl house! it's a REALLY good show and so lovingly made)#(huntlow is just the very very delightful cherry on top for a cake the size of the state of rhode island)#one. one absoLUTELY detestable corner of my brain looked at willow halfway through the painting and went #'this is just davejade again. hey. are you listening to me? this is davejade'#b e g o n e #tumblr please let me add image IDs in the desktop editor

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darlingcloudie-9 · 1 day

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HAPPY PRIDE MOTNH GUYS!!! SHOUT OUT TO THE GAYS THE GIRLS AND THE THEYS !! ‼️‼️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

(also because I’m bi here’s these sonic mfs i hc as bi/other lol)

#skye’s-endless-imaganitories.txt #my art #lgbt pride #pride month #lgbt #bisexual #queer #pride #trans #gay #rouge the bat #rouge sonic #amy rose #sonic #sth #sonic fanart #amy rose the hedgehog #dr ivo robotnik #dr eggman #eggman #doctor eggman #Christ why does he have so many names 😭#Anyways yeah!! These mfs don’t even like eachother but theyre hanging out anyways #Bi eggman solidarity……… Bi eggman solidarity #Listen his ex was referred to with THEY/THEM PRONOUNS #Bi rouge be obvious. I made a whole matpat-esque post abt transgirl/bisexual Amy so it’s not surprising that she’d be here lol #Also if you’re confused on who the two mfs in the first image are. That’s me and my sona. There’s a poorly drawn Darling in there too so #(Darling’s my tumblr mascot lmfao)#Anyways so HAPPY PRIDDE YALLLL BE WHO YOU AREEEEEE FOR YOUR PRIDEEEEEE !!!!!!! /ref

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lunaetis · 2 months

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i've been feeling disassociated from genshin lately. i still love the muses i write and the relationships / dynamics i've formed but my own interest in the game / lore as a whole had been dwindling a lot in the past few months. i'm sure that my interest would pick up once the new patch / story is released but as of now, i don't think i have much of a muse for genshin muses aside from a selected few here and there. with w.uthering w.aves scheduled to be released next month, i know i'm going to invest a lot of my attention and time there bc i have been waiting for the game for years & i'm really excited for it. i might remove some of my genshin muses or move them to request only but i'll sit on it a little bit more before making any changes.

#.ooc #[ genshin burn out had been with me for many months now #and with how stressed i am with work lately i find myself even less motivated #to get on or dive into it again #so i might adjust my muselist later #i'm contemplating a bit of a semi-hiatus too bc i've been ??#feeling weird about being on tumblr as of late #tho i think that's my stress talking #i'll see after the long weekend if i still feel the same before making proper announcement for it ]

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adamkeepr · 2 months

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[ posting this wh8le i take a FAT shit. anyways 6/8 commissions done ^___^ (i cant believe there's finally 2 more remaining for me to do even though technically i'll take the longest at those said two) ]

#— 🦐#[ shout out to school and memory loss for making me take way too long to finish so many commissions ]#[ anyways there's gonna be like ]#[ a cold wave coming in some days/weeks i think ]#[ which i hope it comes around STRONG. since brazil has been feeling like Hell in the past month and a half ]#[ im sweating so much these days i need to sometimes go home early from school sometimes due to how heat can worsen my health ]#artists on tumblr #tsp #tspud #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tbhk #tbhk manga #toilet bound hanako kun #toilet bound fanart #art #artist #commissions

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nulllray · 10 months

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oh yeah baby we're back

#earthspark #starscream #this came out nicer than i expected considering i havent drawn any tfs in many months and this was a quick practice sketch #attempt 2 at posting this because tumblr seemed to not show any new posts in the tags for some time #but i think its fixed now #my art

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blackberry-gingham · 1 year

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Trying to figure out how he looks under the mask and all, since they didn’t want us to know so bad smh

#if the world wanted me to draw book accurate Erik (desperately anorexic)- then they shouldn’t have cast so many beefy +6ft GIANTS #it’s alright this is just how he looks after a few months with me lol #that and we gotta account for his fucking super strength in that movie lmao. give him at least a little muscle I figure #idk how to tag this but my expert says #tw body horror #idk it’s just his nose- but still #anyway #cherik PotO #phantom of the opera 1990 #sarah’s art #logging out of tumblr bye 🤸🏻‍♀️

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mjulmjul · 11 months

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hey new followers,

am I getting recommended at signup or something? how are you finding me? (replies to this post are appreciated!)

btw if you're default avatar gang right now, everyone will instantly block you because they think you're a bot. reblog some posts (it's like retweeting, but you reblog as liberally as you'd 'like' tweets; hold ctrl+click the 'reblog' icon for instant-reblog in one click), change the avatar, add a blog title/bio and you're good. 'but that's work' this is your new home, don't skip the vacuuming and put some curtains up