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worldlxvlys · 2 months

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my eyes only (part 4)

jealous! chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: cursing, reader is in a toxic relationship, smuttt, p in v, cream pie, choking, oral (fem receiving), squirting, masturbation, use of vibrator, cheating

** i’m not promoting cheating in the slightest, this is fiction. please do not cheat on anyone.

a/n: part 4 was highly requested sooo here it is <33

previous part

“it was an accident!” i yelled for what had to be the tenth time.

“how the hell do you accidentally send someone nudes ?” charlie yelled back.

i let a heavy sigh as i rolled my eyes, “hey, don’t roll your eyes at me”

my face scrunched up at that, “i can do whatever the hell i want with my own eyes, charlie. i don’t know why you think you can control my every move” he looked like he wanted to make a snarky comment at that, but i stopped him, “and why were you going through my phone?” i asked.

he looked take aback at the fact that i knew, “ i didn’t” he spoke defensively.

“so you weren’t going through me and chris’s texts?” i asked.

he sighed, giving up the act, “ok, fine. yes i went through your texts once. it was awhile ago, though”

“you are un-fucking-believable, charlie. how am i supposed to trust you when you don’t even trust me?” i asked.

“i know, it’s just-”i cut him off, “your past relationships, i know. but that doesn’t give you the right to go through my phone”

his eyebrows scrunched up at that, “are you trying to invalidate my feelings right now?” he asked.

my eyes widened at that, “i-no! what are you talking about?”

“i mean, you just basically told me that what i went through in the past means nothing to you”

“charlie, when did i say that?” i asked incredulously.

“whatever. i just can’t believe you’re pulling this shit while i’m going through such a hard time. i mean, you know how much stress i’ve been dealing with because of work, and now i have to worry about my girlfriend sending nudes to another guy”

my face softened at this, realizing that there was some truth to what he was saying.

although i would never admit it out loud, i did send chris those nudes on purpose. and on top of that, i gave him access to several of my explicit videos.

thank god charlie didn’t know about that part.

it was wrong of me to do, but when it came to chris, every logical thought of mine flew out the window.

my boyfriend was an asshole, but that didn’t give me the right to add onto his stress.

“i’m sorry, you’re right. it won’t happen again. what can i do to make it up to you?” i asked as i rubbed his shoulders.

i wasn’t an idiot. i knew that i was better off breaking things off with him, but i was scared. as fucked up as our relationship was, it was one of the only constant things in my life. and although it was dangerous for my mental health, it was safe.

change is inevitable, but it’s also uncontrollable in most situations. and this situation was one of the rare cases where i had full control.

“stop talking to him.” my heart dropped at this.

“what? you want me to just stop talking to someone who i’ve been friends with for years?” by the tone of my voice, he could probably tell that i wasn’t going to do it.

“ok, you’re right, that’s unreasonable. but, maybe just back off of him a little?” he asked.

“please? it would help ease my mind” he spoke as he squeezed my waist, his grip tighter than usual.

i had been with charlie long enough to read him pretty well. his mood could flip in a matter of seconds, and it was quite frightening to experience. sometimes, when he was seconds away from doing it, he would squeeze my hip or shoulder firmly. this was obviously one of those times where my answer would determine how the rest of the night went.

he had never hurt me before, but i was still always careful not to set him off.

“ok, yeah” i nodded my head at him.

“i need to hear you say it” he said, refusing to let go of me.

“i’ll back off of him” i said.

he let go of me, a grin taking over his features, “thank you, baby. i really appreciate it”

i nodded at him, smiling weakly.

1 WEEK LATER

CHRIS’S POV

“it was a mistake”, those were the words she said a week ago. those words led me to believe that she would change her my eyes only password.

wrong.

because when i opened her my eyes only the day after she sent that text, the password worked.

she added more videos to the collection, in fact, she didn’t delete my own video.

and when i clicked onto the most recent video, the first thing i heard her moan was my name.

so that’s the game she wants to play? she won’t answer my texts, but she’ll scream my name when she plays with herself?

fine, let’s play.

throughout the week, we added more and more videos to the collection. we teased each other, moaned each other’s names, and spoke the dirtiest words to our phones.

we never addressed the videos in our text messages, as our conversations never got past a “hi, how are you” and a dry response.

it was an odd situation, but she seemed hellbent on avoiding any conversation.

finally, after a week of playing the game, i decided to go over to her house and talk to her like an adult.

i didn’t bother texting her, knowing i wouldn’t get a response.

READER’S POV

“fuck, chris” i moaned out as my head flew back onto my bed.

my body was bare and covered in a layer of sweat as i held my vibrator against my clit with one hand, the other fingering my wet hole.

my phone was propped up against a chair, capturing my pleasure perfectly.

i was so close to my orgasm, i didn’t hear my front door open.

“chris! i’m gonna-!” i cut myself off as my door flew open.

in a panic, i moved my hands and turned my head towards the door.

my eyes widened in horror, as chris stood by my door with hooded eyes.

chris and i stared at each other as we both waited for someone to say something.

“chris-” i started, but paused when he pulled his shirt off.

he quick strides in my direction, before leaning down and capturing my lips in a desperate kiss.

i moaned into the kiss, as our lips moved against each others quickly.

he detached our lips, pressing his forehead to mine. “do you want this or not?” he asked, his eyes still closed. “cause one second you say it’s a mistake, then the next you’re moaning my name. if you’re just gonna play with my feelings, i-” i stopped him by pressing my lips to his in a sweet kiss.

“i want this, chris. i want you. i was scared and confused, and i shouldn’t have played with you like that. i need you to know this isn’t a game to me” i spoke as my gaze shifted between his eyes.

“i’ve wanted you for so fucking long, i just didn’t know how to tell you” i cupped his jaw with my hand, running my thumb along the skin right under his bottom lip.

“thank fuck” he whispered before pushing his lips onto mine again.

my hands found their way to the back of his neck as his soft lips caressed mine.

his hands went to my boobs, squeezing and pinching my nipples, eliciting a small moan from me.

“fuck, you sound even better in person” he groaned.

he continued to play with my tits as our lips slid against each other’s perfectly.

his hips ground down into my body, his clothed erection pressing into my inner thigh.

i bit down onto my lip, suppressing my moans.

“don’t be shy now, baby. you’re so vocal when i’m not in front of you. do i need to play one of the videos?” he asked, making me narrow my eyes at him.

in one swift motion, i hooked my leg around his waist, pushing him down into me and flipping us over.

his eyes widened as i wrapped my hand around his throat, making him let out a choked moan.

“yeah? you like it when i choke you like this?” i asked as i moved my hand down to his sweatpants.

“mmm, fuck yea” he groaned out.

i hooked my finger into his sweatpants, tugging them down.

my fingers gently caressed his thighs as i moved my mouth to the top of his boxers.

i looked up at him through my lashes as i took the waistband between my teeth, pulling it up and letting it snap back against his skin, making his hips jerk slightly.

“i want these off” i spoke.

he quickly pulled them down, letting his dick spring free.

“remember that pink dildo?” i asked as i let my spit travel down to his cock, beginning to spread it around his length.

“y-yeah, i do” he groaned in response.

i lined him up with my entrance and sank down onto him, pulling long strings of curses from both of our lips.

“i always imagine that it’s your cock buried inside of me” i moaned out as i began to move on top of him.

“o-oh my fuck” he whispered as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

he seemed to almost be shocked at the amount of pleasure coursing through his body, as his arms stayed frozen at his side.

“touch me, chris” i spoke, snapping him out of his trance.

his hands shot out to my sides, sliding down to grab my ass.

i grabbed his shoulders to stablilize myself as i rolled my hips into his.

“god, you feel even better than i ever imagined” i spoke as i pressed my forehead to his, staring into his eyes.

“you look so fucking good on top of me like this. love watching you fuck yourself on my cock” he whispered to me.

“you like the way i squeeze you?” i asked as i clenched around him.

he whimpered at the feeling, before replying, “not gonna last if you do that”

“good, i’m on the pill. i need you to fuck your cum into me, chris. need it so bad” i moaned as his dick plunged in and out of my tight hole.

the dirty words sent chris over the edge.

his fingers dug into my ass, holding me down against him as he shot his cum deep inside of my walls.

i lifted my hips off of him and swung my leg over his, moving from on top of him.

“wait, you didn’t finish” he pointed out.

“it’s fine” i shrugged it off.

chris wasn’t having this as he pulled me back towards his body.

“ride my face” he spoke as he pulled me back on top of him.

“what?” i asked, my eyes widening at his statement.

“i don’t know what you’re used to, but we’re not done until you cum. so, ride my face.” he spoke, throwing slight shade towards charlie, as he laid down.

following his instructions, i positioned myself right above his face. i hovered for a second before chris pulled me down onto him, pulling all of my weight onto his face.

“oh my god, chris” my jaw fell slack as my hands laced into his hair, tugging gently.

he groaned against my heat as his tongue licked up and down my folds.

i began to rock my hips against his mouth. with every upward movement, chris’ nose pressed against my clit.

“chris! i’m cumming!” i spoke as my body tensed up.

my toes curled and my fingers scratched his scalp as i felt an intense wave of pleasure run through my body.

i lifted myself off of his face as my juices shot out of my trembling body, saturating the pillow and chris’s face.

“fuck! sorry, sorry” i spoke quickly as i got off of him.

“don’t ever apologize for something like that, ma. that was hot as fuck” he spoke before licking his lips.

i got up to grab something to clean his face up, when he stopped me.

“wait, take a picture of my face!” he grinned.

“what, why?” i asked.

“we can save it to your my eyes only” he winked.

🌀🌀🌀🌀

masterlist

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fullhalalalchemist · 1 year

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🚨🚨🚨URGENT PLEASE READ AND REBLOG

dec 13, 2022

we literally have just a few days to act. the senate is debating about putting KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act, into the omnibus spending bill. if it is added, it WILL pass. despite the title and content of the bill seeming to be about protecting kids, we know everytime someone claims they are "saving the children" they have more sinister goals

which is why Senator Blumenthal is working with one of the biggest transphobes in the senate, Marsha Blackburn, to force this bill through, and claiming they are listening to LGBT voices when they are blatantly ignoring us.

essentially this bill gives every state attorney generals the power to remove anything they deem 'harmful' to kids online. you can see how a state like Texas or Florida would run with that, yes? it also forces you to upload your government ID online to access the internet. the bill will create a 'commission' led by handpicked members of the govt to oversee what is and isn't allowed online. it will lead to mass censorship of anything related to race or LGBT content. in a post-Roe world too? say goodbye to any abortion/sex-related info.

they are doing a shit ton of PR for this, including claiming they are listening to LGBT voices. i mean just look.

two weeks ago, 90+ human rights, LGBT, and tech orgs signed onto an open letter telling Senators NOT to pass this bill. in response, over 230 orgs led by the American Psychological Association signed a letter urging senators to. it's really fucking bad. like i can't sleep because of this. i didn't expect this to happen. we really really need people to speak up.

if this bill goes through it will literally kill off the internet as we know it

sign the open letter and petitions against KOSA here

the best way to fight against this bill is to call these specific senators (if you have dem senators, call them too)

nancy pelosi (202) 225-4965 roger wicker (202) 224-6253 chuck schumer (202) 224-6542 maria cantwell (202) 224-3441

call script below:

For Wicker only:

I'm calling because I'm asking the Senator to vote no on KOSA S.3663 from being added to the omnibus and being put through the Senate. The re-released text of the bill is still not adequate enough, and it's being rushed. This bill does not belong in an omnibus anyway. As a Gen Z, I also want to protect kids. I've been there. But this language is not ready yet. It should not move forward at all.

Hello Senator __:

My name is _, and I strongly urge you to oppose the dangerously misguided KOSA bill from being added to the omnibus spending bill. Bills like this should not be included in spending bills. Over 90 human rights and LGBT organizations have spoken out against this bill.

KOSA gives state attorney generals full power to sue any website if they see it has anything that is “inappropriate for children”'. For the past year, Republicans claimed everything LGBT is “grooming” children and we ended up with a shooting in Colorado and bomb threats sent to hospitals, NO senator should support a bill with vague phrasing like this. Before that, they successful removed books on race due to "CRT". This gives them a pass to do this to the entire internet. KOSA will only lead to more harm towards minorities and LGBT youth across the nation by censoring everything online.

The Heritage Foundation said they will use KOSA to target LGBT kids, specifically trans kids. In a post-Roe world, they will even use KOSA to censor resources on abortion. Anything they dislike will be targeted.

A bill this huge and this impactful should not be added to any spending bill. Even if it was a small bill, it has nothing to do with the omnibus spending bill and shouldn't be added at ALL. It needs more time being discussed. There should be hearings on it as well

We all care about kids mental health. We all want to hold Big Tech accountable, but this is NOT it. This will give Big Tech more power while taking away resources from the most vulnerable children. It is not the solution.

Please, do NOT support this bill. Do the right thing, and VOTE NO on KOSA.

#kosa #stop kosa #net neutrality #uspol #earn it act

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odinsblog · 9 months

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Can we please get something straight here??

Mitch McConnell has supported Donald Trump and will support him again if Trump wins the Republican nomination. I have never supported Trump and I never will.

Mitch McConnell has been a willing tool of the NRA and helped pass countless stand-your-ground laws, he has helped pave the way for laws like permitless carry, and he has helped make guns easier for anyone to get. I have not.

Mitch McConnell has helped pass laws that intentionally suppress the votes of millions and millions Black people. I have not.

Mitch McConnell has helped write or pass laws that deny millions of women access to reproductive health care. I have not.

Mitch McConnell has helped write or pass laws that deny basic healthcare and living wages to millions of poor people. I have not.

I AM NOW AND I WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER than Mitch McConnell and Republicans, because my wishes do not have any material impact on anyone, unlike the myriad of hateful draconian laws that Mitch McConnell has helped to pass.

I could continue, but hopefully I’ve made my point: people sending Mitch McConnell “ill wishes” IS NOT being “just the same” as Mitch McConnell and Republicans, and it doesn’t make anyone “as bad as” McConnell and the GOP.

Are you fucking kidding me??

Saying that my wishes = McConnell’s actions is a false equivalence. It’s false, it’s offensive and it’s gaslighting.

Mitch McConnell is an elected politician who has a very long history of using his political power to actively harm the poor, marginalized communities, women, LGBTQ people, and non-Christian, non-white people. If you cannot differentiate between the words and the unenforceable “wishes” of the oppressed vs. the actions of an oppressor, then you have some serious problems to unpack.

I could ~almost~ see it if there was some chance that a Republican would go, “Oh wow, those progressives are being nice to Mitch McConnell, maybe I’ll stop being a racist and vote for a Democrat now.” But that almost never ever happens, does it??

You are not going to win over a Republican by being kind. Their entire ideology is based on racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and cruelty.

Look, I’m not tryna write a dissertation here, but please believe me when I say that this neoliberal knee jerk Pollyanna reaction of, “turn the other cheek” and “be kinder to your oppressors” is very much rooted in Christofascism + white supremacy. It’s a weaponization of the “hate breeds hate” trope and the “forgiveness narrative” meant to tame slaves, and I refuse to fall for it.

I absolutely positively do not wish Mitch McConnell well, and HELL NO, I am not being a bad person for hoping that a racist, evil, old white man suffers a fraction of the pain he has inflicted on others for decades and decades.

I am a proud member of the #MitchMcConnellDieChallenge community.

That all said, at the very least, Mitch McConnell has unintentionally provided us with a teachable moment: please learn to spot the warning signs of someone having a stroke

#politics #mitch mcconnell #republicans #stroke prevention #false equivalencies #mitch mcconnell die challenge #hate breeds hate #forgiveness narrative #neoliberalism

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inthestarsme · 4 months

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Solar return observations pt. 1 ✨

‼️ Do not reproduce, repost or use any of my content without my consent. If you ever repost anything, you need to always mention my page ‼️

Hey guys! I hope you've been having a great christmas time! I'm starting a new little series, bc honestly, i haven't been observing anything new when it comes to birth charts lately, but i've really been into solar return charts, which is why i really wanted to make this. As you might have seen, i had already posted another observation which included some observations on solar return charts, which i deleted bc some of the things i shared didn't resonate with me and i only want to give you content i can truly stand behind. But i am mentioning this, bc i'm going to include some of the solar return observations i made in this post, so don't be confused if you think you might've already seen this on one of my posts.

If you do not know about solar return charts, i would recommend you to look it up beforehand. I am not the best at explaining this kind of stuff, but there are other astrology pages who have amazing introductions for people who are getring into solar return charts. Please look them up and then come back to this!!

Before we start: these are just my personal observations. I am by no means a professional astrologer, and i don't want you coming for me because you disagree with me on the meaning of something. If you want to correct me, feel free, but i will not tolerate any hate or disrespect (which means you will get blocked).

‼️Trigger warning: mentions of bad relationship experiences, bullying and mental health struggles ‼️

Sooo let's go!

Jupiter in the 8th house conjunct neptune in 7th house: Altough of course this can show different in every persons life, for me in the year i had this placement i didn't meat my rich husband who was my wonderful soulmate. Instead i only dated one guy who in the beginning seemed very great but turned out to just be using me for intercourse In general the guys i've met who were interested in me seemed quite stable and good people, but turned out to actualy be known by close ones as f-boys. So if you have this placement in your solar return chart, please beware. It might look better than it is, as neptune is also about illusions and in the 7th house of relationships, this can mean you might not see who the person truly is, and with jupiter ok the 8th house, it could be because they might be using you for sexual endevours, or you might be more into sexual endavours than usual and thus might yourself give another person the illusion you might be into more to get access in that way (which: please don't do that. there is people out there who are willing to give you that without you having to betray them. it's not fair to someone who is trying to actually build a relationship).

Neptune conjunct the Descendant with Chiron in the 7th house: Adding to the last observation: the year i started dating my first boyfriend who was very toxic and completely used and betrayed me was the year i had neptune, the planet of illusion in a very hard conjunction to my descendant. Also, like chiron (the wound we cannot heal but which can heal others) would indicate sent me into quite a mental health crisis, which i didn't even realize until about 2 years later. it really messed with me, so please be careful if you have this placement. i still learned a lot about relationships, and i feel like i now would never again get into a relationship without being 100 percent certain about the persons intentions and so on.

Saturn, Pluto and Uranus in the 4th house: Whilst Pluto and (especially) Uranus can totally mean you moving because they are very much about change, i wouldn't say the same about saturn in the 4th house. Saturn is usually more about restrictions and difficulties because of that. Of course there could be difficulties with your landlord for example, which might cause you to move, but otherwise, i think saturn here is more about not being able to move freely in your home or you feeling bound to your home for some reason. This can of course vary in interpretation depending on other aspects and planets, it could also be about problems with you family. It very much depends.

North node conjunct uranus in any house: Whatever house this placement is in, you might experience some significant change in the area or might learn something about this area of your life which will change it significantly. For example, a friend of mine had this in his 7th house and during that year, after a lots of years of being in an polyamorous relationship, they went back to a monogamous relationship because some things had appendd which made them realize for them to keep on having a healthy relationship, a monogamous relationship might be better. I also had this placement in my ninth house and during this year some things happened which significantly altered the way i handle my studies in college.

Stellium in 12th house (with sun and moon): You might be going through a phase where you are in more solitute and a lot of things you didn't know about will come to light. I am currently experiencing this, and i could totally feel the shift. I feel it kind of was like my last solar reutrn year i had so many experiences with traveling and meeting new people, that i kind of feel like an "experience fatigue". it felt like i was making so many new experiences, and focused on making more and so on, that i forgot to put meaning and intention behind those. So now i just want to slow down and still make experiences, but also focus on my inner world, on learning new things about myself and also work on some mental health stuff. also, i feel like there has been a lot going on behind the scenes on how people view or say about me which i don't or didn't know about, like for example one year a go, a comment i made on youtube got about 6000 likes and people were bashing me so hard in the comments and i didn't even notice until now 😭 idk, i hope whatever is going to be revealed isn't too harsh (the comments were bad but honestly, i didn't mind. it's not the first time i've gotten hate on social media lol). the 12th house is generally not considered to be very positive, but for now i feel like it is mostly about me time and discovering new things about myself.

Sun square pluto: I read something on the tumblr page "lavishlyleo" about this placement being a very difficult placement which can last for a looong time, and i looked it up: i've had this placement since i was about 14 years old. now, i've had quite a rough childhood, but me having to deal with that and having to process it and simultaniously starting to experience more bullying and so on started about this time. i think beforehand i knew my life wasn't the greatest, but i could still move through it and be very happy and content because i had a great friend group and a lot of other good stuff going on. the fact of me having to realized how the things i have gone through were so fucked up and how they messed with me was soo much harder tbh. but now this placement has been easing up a bit and will go away in about two years and i have honestly been doing so much better that the years beforhand, especially when it comes to my social life! i am so excited on seeing how life will be as soon ad this placement finally goes away.

Chiron or lilith in the 11th house: As these two are more harsh and about experiencing some bad stuff to also learn and develope, having this in the 11th house may not be a good sing of you keeping your friend group because and maybe losing those. Or in general just having bad experiences with groups of people.

I will leave you with this now. As the year progresses, i will see how certain placements play out in my and other peoples life, so i can give you some more observations i made. But i hope you enjoyed this!

Sending out love and please keep safe! Until next time byebye 🩵

#solar return #solar return chart #astro observations #astro community #astroblr #jupiter in the 8th house #neptune in the 7th house #neptune conjunct descendant #chiron in the 7th house #saturn in the 4th house #uranus in the 4th house #pluto in the 4th house #north node conjunct uranus #stellium in the 12th house #sun square pluto #chiron in the 11th house #lilith in the 11th house

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larkspurblue · 11 months

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Alright I'm on my period (pain) and in a monsterfucker mood so, here's how I imagine several of my fave monsters would react to their s/o on shark week

Dragon: I imagine these guys run hot, so you'd have easy access to what's basically a massive heat pack that's eager to please and probably going to be a little smug about it. You are the centerpiece of their hoard and dragons take great pride in keeping what is theirs in top condition. Expect to be pampered as they see fit and to have your every want and desire tended to. Need something? Don't even think of getting up, they'll get it for you. Cravings? Already stocked up on all your favorites. Want comfort? You'll be snuggled up to and curled around like a teddy bear. There will probably be a heat pack for when your dragon can't be around (probably because they're running errands for you), but expect those times to be few and far between. Overall, dragons will take this time of the month as a way to prove just how attentive and capable they are. Please reward with lots of pats and kisses.

Drider: PANIC. Driders have an incredible sense of smell and will know you're on your period the moment that you start. No matter how many times it happens, their first and instinctual reaction to smelling blood on you will always be concern that you've been injured in some way. This feeling can be hard to shake off, so don't be surprised if they get particularly anxious or hovering. Driders take their mate's health very seriously and have no patience for anything threatening that, including you, so you won't have to worry about not having what you need but you will have to worry about upsetting your drider by not looking after yourself to their standard. For example, if you skip a meal under their watchful eyes, you'll be pestered about not getting the energy and nutrients you need until you give in. And big one, take extreme measures to reassure them that you're not overexerting, or you might find yourself relegated to a bed or couch for resting, cocooned until you're deemed ready to get up and not a moment sooner.

Robot: Honestly most of the time you probably think they don't know that you're on your period until you tell them, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. The more humanoid robots/commercial androids will probably act like any other caring human lover, while the less human ones will be curious if the relationship is new and might need some explaining. But no matter the make, your robot s/o will be monitoring your biometrics 24/7 and constantly looking for ways to help. You may not notice, but they'll be setting down a glass of water any time you need to hydrate, organizing your things to make everything easier to find, adjusting the room temperature and humidity and brightness to your liking, and ordering anything you need before you're even aware that you need it. I mean, now that you think about it, when was the last time you needed to restock your painkillers, replace a heat pack, or get more pads/tampons? That's right...

Bonus: Writing "shark week" at the top of this made me think like... wait what about being on your period with a shark mer around. Can I just say there's no way they would be any kind of normal about it. Good luck handling your absolutely fucking feral mer, you're going to need it because the way you smell hits about five different primal urges and every interaction is like spinning a wheel and seeing what you hit. Have fun being either smothered in affection or fretted over or hunted or hunted for or jumped.

#not me making this blog and immediately forgetting about it until like a year later.. whoops #terato #monsterfucker #x reader #period comfort #dragon x reader #drider x reader #robot x reader #shark mer x reader #my thoughts

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eponymous-rose · 6 months

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Just wanted to make this little PSA:

I know the US healthcare system is a dumpster fire, but if you do have access to preventative care, please consider adding a full-body skin exam to your schedule!

I naturally have a lot of moles, my uncle had skin cancer, and I've had two major/peeling sunburns in my life (your risk of skin cancer doubles with a history of a single blistering sunburn). Starting two years ago, I've been going in yearly to get everything checked out, and I've already had two suspicious moles removed. A friend of mine went in for the first time a while back (in part because I kept bringing it up) and they found a precancerous mole on the sole of her foot, of all places. One minor surgery and a couple weeks on crutches later, it's no longer an issue.

Another big risk factor is tanning beds - a friend in college was in a sorority that used to all go together fairly regularly, and two of them wound up having to get treated for aggressive melanomas by the time they turned 30 (the friend in question had multiple major surgeries, but is thankfully now cancer-free for over 5 years).

I'm not intending to scare people, but if you have a mole that's been worrying you (see the ABCDEs of moles), even if you don't spend a lot of time outside or burn often, just know that the full-body skin exam is a quick and easy way to get peace of mind. And yes, even those with plenty of melanin are still at risk of skin cancer and should make a habit of wearing sunscreen!

Having a suspicious mole removed is a super-quick procedure (takes about 20 seconds, including numbing), and they'll biopsy the sample and test it to make sure there are no cancer cells. All that's required from you may be going in to get one stitch removed a couple weeks later, or just keeping a bandaid on the area for a week and then moisturizing until it's totally healed to avoid scarring. The biopsy process is much less painful than something like a blood draw.

I was reminded of all this because I went back for my yearly exam a couple days ago (currently waiting on a biopsy of a mole that my dermatologist characterized as barely suspicious, but hey, took it off anyway for peace of mind) and man, it feels good to have someone look at the constellation of little shapes on my back and go "Yup, all normal!" Or even to have someone comb through my hairline to look for moles I can't see easily on my own. I thought going in yearly would ramp up my health anxiety, but it's at an all-time low knowing that anything bad that pops up has a great chance of being in a super early stage.

I also use sunscreen much, much more religiously.

#health tw #medical tw #cancer tw

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acourtofpenandpaper · 3 months

Text

Astarion-I care about you.

(Picture by @cheekylittlepupp)

Astarion x reader

Blurb: When you get downed in a fight, Astarions takes it upon himself to nurse you back to health. But there is something unspoken between the two of you. (Fluff)

AN: This is my first piece of fanfiction in like 10 years? Also, the longest writing which is not academic in English, so please forgive me any mistakes but point them out to me so I can learn! English is my second language but I try to get back into writing in it again. I hope you like it, please leave some feedback if you'd like, it would mean a lot to me!

..........................................................................................

When I woke up, I just noticed the gentle swaying that had lulled me to sleep before. My eyes fluttered, struggling to stay awake when I tried to get a picture of my surroundings. I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist and back, holding me firm to the chest.

I looked up and recognized the battered and bruised face of my travel companion. The one that made my heart flutter whenever he looked at me over the flames of the campfire. His white locks fell into his face and into his red eyes. I moved my head and saw our other travel companions, Gale and Lae’zel walking beside us. Lae’zel noticed me moving in his arms and said:

“Seems like the sleep princess is awake again. Welcome back among us living. Pretty great how you dipped out of the fight right when the huge Orc came out.”

Gale sighed. “And we also managed that one. And got some good loot as well, so all is great! Don’t worry about it, we managed just fine.”

Somehow, a pang of guilt swept through me. I should have better prepared for this fight, but I didn’t, and I left them hanging. From above, I felt the gaze of the pair of deep red eyes on me so I looked up.

“There you are. Got me worried for a minute, my dear”, Astarion whispered as he let me down onto the mat of his tent in our camp.

“I should have used a healing potion before, it was dumb not to…”, I stammered but he quickly hushed me.

“Don’t worry. All went well, don’t let Lae’zel upset you. It is her way to express her worry, I am sure. Now we make sure to get you back to health.”

He turned his back to me and rummaged through one of his chests to retrieve a blanket that he handed me.

“Astarion, this is not necessary by any means.”

With a swift motion, he sat down beside me and poured me a glass of water and gave it to me. With an expectant expression on his face, he motioned me to drink. I brought the glass to my lips and let the cool water fill up my mouth. I could still taste some of the blood that had run into my mouth from the fight and tried to fight the urge to spit it out.

“You helped me in the past, so I will take care of you now. This is the least I can do when you give me access of this sweet neck of yours. Besides…you are no use for me or this team when you are injured and bloodless.”

I rolled my eyes. There he was. “How sweet of you to be so concerned about my health.”

He chuckled. “I know, sometimes even I am surprised of the charity that I am capable of. Don’t get used to it. Now drink. I will see what I can get you to eat from our camp’s chest. How about some bread and cheese for starters?”

“Sounds good, I don’t know if my stomach can handle more.”

Astarion brought back some slices of bread that the others had cut open and some cheese with it. I was struggling to keep anything down because I still felt weak from the injuries but I took it slowly, one bite after another.

“Thanks. Now I need to wash, these clothes look disgusting. I’m sure that I look no better”, I said and tried to get up but even after one move, my body gave out and I plopped back onto the mat.

Astarion watched me with a worrisome expression on his face and pushed himself off the floor. His hands swiftly moved under my arms and he swooped me up so I was laying in his arms again.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you, just as I promised”, he stated and walked towards the lake which was located behind the tents and the campfire. All the others had gathered around the fire and had already washed up, so there was no one else at the lakeside.

Gently, he put me down against a rock that lay on the beach so I could lean onto it. I nodded and said: “I can take it from here. Thanks.”

He breathed out a chuckle and shook his head, to which in response I frowned.

“What’s so funny?”

“You can’t take it from here. You can barely sit upright. Now let’s get you washed.”

“No, really, it is okay…”

“Tststs, darling. No talking back when I try to help you. And it is not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”

My eyes widened. “You did what?”

He rolled with his eyes. “Oh, please, your changing spots weren’t the most discreet so far. I admit, I can see in the dark but even Withers could have seen you change from his spot and that man is a skeleton.”

He pulled his shirt over his head and pulled down his own pants before opening the buttons of my shirt and pants.

“Why are you getting undressed when you want to wash me?”

“This shirt is made from fabric that doesn’t like lake water. Also, I need to change back into something comfortable afterwards as well, don’t I?” He gently pulled open my shirt and took my arm in his hand.

“Can you hold up your arm like this? Just like that, you are doing great.”

After moving around for a bit, I was down to my underwear as well and instinctively, I tried to cover up my bare skin in front of him. Not that I was ashamed or anything, but I was nervous for him to see me like that. Even though he just told me he, in fact, had seen me like that before. But that was beside the point.

“Now let’s get you into the water”, he exclaimed and, once again, pulled my up into his arms. This time, I put my arm around his neck to hold myself up. One hand brushed against his chest, to which I muttered: “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry.”

Slowly, he stepped into the lake, cold water engulfing our bodies. I hissed to myself, when my back hit the water as I hadn’t imagined it to be that cold.

“It’s cold, isn’t it? I am sorry that I cannot provide a little bit of warmth. Maybe I should have asked Karlach to do this”, he said and spread water around my back and neck and gently rubbed his hand over it, making me shiver. I wasn’t so sure if it was the cold making me shiver or his touch.

“You scared us a whole lot today, do you know that? Seeing you go down like that is a sight I personally don’t want to witness again”, he murmured while working his way from my back and to my arms.

“I know”, I sighed, ashamed of letting down my companions. I took a deep breath. “I will not let that happen again.”

“Oh, dear, I will not leave your side in combat ever again, just so you know. Turn around.”

Cautiously, I turned to face him and if it wasn’t his touch that left me breathless, it was now the sight of him under the moonlight that took my breath away. I felt heat creep up my cheeks and quickly turned my gaze away.

“What is it?”, he asked, and his hand tipped up my chin so I would face him again.

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing to me.”

“I just wonder why you are so nice to me”, I half-lied to cover up for the fact that I was blushing under his gaze. But I did wonder: why was he so nice and caring to me? He never struck me as the type to do something like that.

“You aren’t the best fighter of the group, but you didn’t come off as the dense one to me. Why would I be nice to you? I care about you. I sometimes struggle to show this, and I still must get to terms with my own problems regarding letting people get close to me, but I like you. And therefore, I care about you.”

“Did you just insult me?”

He laughed and poured water over my hair. “If that is what you take away from my little confession, so be it. But I cannot be franker, this is all you will get for now.”

“So, you like me?”

“Enough talking, my dear. You need to rest and get out of the water. Not that you get chilly.”

I huffed but silently smiled to myself.

We finished up washing ourselves and with the help from Astarion, I was able to slowly walk back to his tent in the camp. It was now late, and I stood up to get some sleep on my own mat by the fire.

A soft hand embraced my wrist and lowered me down onto the ground again.

“Stay here for the night. I can better see if you need anything if you wake up”, he proposed but I could tell he was just saying that as a white lie. But instead of questioning his true reasons, I decided to humor him and lied down next to him. He lazily draped his arm around my waist and watched me.

“What?”, I asked.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again. I don’t think I could take it if you ever don’t stand up again.”

I gulped. “I promise.”

“Good. Now, sleep, darling. Tomorrow, we will probably fight some more.”

I closed my eyes. But sleep didn’t find me. My heart was beating too fast, too hard against my chest because I couldn’t quite comprehend what he said to me by the lake. That he liked me, cared for me.

“You know I can sense your heartbeat, right? It seems like you are running from a monster right now. Relax, I am not going to bite you in your sleep”, he said.

“It’s not that. I…this is unusual.”

“I know. But we can talk about this later. There is still enough time. In the meantime, just enjoy that this feels nice. I do, too, it’s easy.”

A few minutes passed and I was able to soothe my heartbeat into a calm rhythm. Astarion lay quietly next to me, his chest slowly rising and falling. He had to be asleep already. My gaze lingered on him for a bit longer and I whispered, only so loud that I could hear it leave my lips:

“I like you, too.”

Content, I closed my eyes and snuggled against his chest, when I heard his voice, just as silent as mine before:

“I know.”

Idiot. But I didn’t mind.

#astarion #astarion fanfiction #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion oneshot #astarion fanfic #astarion romance #astarion bg3 #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate fanfiction #bg3 fanfiction

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hisui-dreamer · 4 months

Text

some more taisho jade thoughts!

in relation to this post!

notes: reader has a supernatural ability to grow any plant and make them thrive no matter the conditions, plant and fungi are kinda loped together here sorry biology people i know they're different kingdoms ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

jade is super intimidating when you first meet him, you were tending to your flowers when his shadow loomed over you

when you look up, he has a closed-eye smile on his face, but you don't feel any warmth from it at all

you soon learn, after he basically hurled you up into your new life as his gardening assistant, that the young master is rarely seen showing genuine emotion, always wearing that same plastered smile on his face

and if he's not smiling politely, then he's smirking in sadistic glee

it can't be because he's a merchant, since his twin brother is all about wearing his feelings on his sleeve, so you just decided your new master was weird

i mean, what sane merchant would provide housing, food, and pay to a random florist??

but your view of him changes when you successfully propagate a new fungi that he bought in

turns out he's been struggling with propogating and germinating a lot of his purchases, so he's a bit lost as to what he's doing wrong

he's almost given up on them thinking the climate just isn't right for them to grow

but when you show him how the fungi has propogated, there's a childlike glee on his face unlike anything you've seen before, his cheeks are flushed, his eyes are sparkling with joy, he's dancing around the pot all giddy and excited, and it catches you off guard

huh, so he can make a face like that too

you find yourself more at ease with him from then on, knowing deep down he's just really passionate about his greenhouse and kind of a dork about it

as you start taking care of more and more plants, you learn so much more about the medical capabilities that the plants have

yes, that ugly root over there has insane healing properties that can restrengthen someone's immune system

when you voice your desire to tap into the medical field and help people who are suffering from health issues, jade is a bit sad but immensely proud

you were just a little flower when he met you, small but delicate, immensely pleasing to look at, and all for him to admire

but now you've grown and bloomed so beautifully that he'll have to share you with the rest of the world

nonetheless, jade is a man of weakness when it comes to making you smile, and he very quickly arranged for the leech family to open a medical department with herbal experts and doctors

the experts dry and prepare the herbs so yo won't have to worry about the processing part

it's not very businessman of him, but he makes sure the prices are reasonable and accessible to the public as per your wishes

you're grateful to the core of your heart that you met jade

after all, your special ability has finally been put to use in a way that helps a lot of people, while also keeping you relatively safe from anyone who'd take advantage of you

so you off-handedly mention to jade one day that you're incredibly grateful that you're born with your green thumb, since you met him because of it

you were too focused on trimming the plant in your hands, but if you looked up, you would have seen jade leech, the merchant that so many business partners would still get chills from with just a glance, was flushed pink completely, and not even his gloved hand covering his face could hide the sight

the very next day, he gives you an intricate hairpin, saying it reminded him of you :)

Masterlist

#twstnexus #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland jade #twisted wonderland jade leech #jade leech #jade leech x reader #twst jade #twst jade leech

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

WIBTA for using my status as an agender person to get a surgery I want although I do not want it for gender-related issues ?

TW : talk of uterus, menstrual cycles and menstrual blood

I'll start by saying this is not the US so please don't make your judgement based on that. I'll describe how things are in my country.

So I (X24) want my uterus removed. The main reason is that I want to be sterilised to stop having so much anxiety about becoming pregnant, which would be a nightmare for me, and I never ever want this to happen again.

But I can't get any other form of sterilisation as then I would keep my uterus, so I would keep my period, and without hormonal treatment it's just not liveable. To give you an idea, my natural cycles are 21 days instead of 28, I get my period for 7 days instead of 5 and it can be hemorrhagic for up to 4 days of these 7. (I used to get post-op medication because of the hemorrhagia before I was under contraception.) And of course I get through excruciating pain every time, beside having iron deficiency among other things. I'm currently trying another hormonal contraception, it's still not going well. There is always something wrong. My first pill just stopped working, the next ones made me gain 20kg, I'm currently trying hormonal IUD and although I don't bleed as much, I bleed for so long and there is so much pain that no available painkillers can block. I'm so tired. I can't imagine going through that for another 15 to 25 years.

In my country, it is written in law that you are allowed to be sterilised using various methods, all of which keep the uterus. Nothing is said for hysterectomy as a sterilisation method. And although many refuse to sterilise you at all, if you find the right surgeon you can be no matter your age. The procedure is also fully reimbursed. Nothing is said in law about hysterectomy.

This means that the vast majority of surgeons won't remove your uterus. Except if you have a pathology related to it or if you're trans (coming back to that later).

So what I described above does look like a uterus with a pathology, right? It certainly looks like endometriosis at least. I went to a surgeon known for doing the other kinds of sterilisation and tried to convince him to just remove my uterus. He refused, not without an asserted pathology. To his credit, he looked for it. He had me take an MRI. Well, they found nothing.

Which means that, although I have a pretty dysfunctional uterus that I never want to use and just keeps causing me problems, he won't remove it. Because they can't find the cause. Even though I feel completely alienated from my body because of that damn organ that keeps trying to make me bear children and will have me bleed out and in pain when I won't allow it.

Then there is the other solution. I said above you could get surgery if you are trans. It's actually a bit more complicated that that. In order to get HRT and gender affirming surgery, you first need to get diagnosed with body dysphoria by a psychiatrist. And then you get a special status in our health system that allows you to get free access to all kinds of things in the medical field (like surgery and HRT) and beyond (like laser depilation).

As I said, I'm agender. They give this status to nonbinary people so my specific flavour of gender (or lack thereof) is not the issue. But I don't have body dysphoria, only social dysphoria. People misgendering me to my face will make me feel horrible but I don't see my body as gendered. My breasts and specifically my uterus are not something that I see as gendered, so they're not something that causes me distress in terms of gender-related issues. Which means as psychiatrist is never going to diagnose me with gender dysphoria as is, and I won't have access to hysterectomy through trans care.

Except if I fake it.

Now, I have no idea if it could even work. If I could even fool someone. But I've been considering trying because I really, really want to get rid of that damn uterus. And technically, I wouldn't be faking my gender identity. Just expanding on my dysphoria. Still, it feels wrong. I wouldn't transition in any other way except removing the uterus. This path doesn't feel like it's mine to take. I feel it would be disrespectful towards actual, dysphoric trans people.

So, what do you say Tumblr ? WIBTA if I tried it anyway ?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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much-ado-about-whumping · 1 year

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Help for when you’re having a rough time

(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)

In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you.

First, a note:

Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.

A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)

That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:

1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)

If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.

There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3

2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)

One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)

3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)

I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).

4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).

As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read.

5. Warmlines:

This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.

6. Specialized hotlines:

There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)

With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:

A. For queer and trans folks in general:

Trans LifeLine

Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)

Available in English and Spanish

Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)

Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!

Does not offer text/chat-based support

I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.

The Trevor Project:

Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks

Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.

Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)

Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24

Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).

Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!

B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:

Call Blackline:

Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)

Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.

From their website:

Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.

Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:

You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.

Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.

C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:

Fireside Project:

This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.

7. A soothing distraction:

One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)

--------

Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.

And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3

(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)

One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.

#whump community #how to be a person in the world #ways to stay afloat #suicide mention cw #suicidality mention cw #self-harm mention cw #resources for taking care of yourself #bel talks #touchstones #sorry another disclaimer but also i know my experiences are not universal #my feelings might come from a really different place than other people's feelings #idk for instance if any of the shit in this post would have been at all useful to moya #but I'm sharing it anyway in case it's useful to SOMEONE

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salty-croissants · 5 months

Note

what if Y/N was sick and Rayman/Ramon or Bullfrog take care of him/her? How could it be?

Thank you for the request !

I’m always happy whenever I get the chance to write the boys taking care of the reader :,) ❤️

Plus it’s pretty neat to complete this scenario since I wrote one where the reader takes care of them when they’re sick , very cool stuff !

Anyway , hope this turned out okay !

Details : use of gender neutral reader ;

established relationships ;

no warnings needed

Bullfrog 💚

No matter how unnecessary you may think it is , Bullfrog will make sure that you get some rest for the rest of the day , and there is no way to convince him to let you keep working on what you were currently doing .

< Please , just a few more minutes … I need to get this done … >

< I’m sorry mon amour , but I can’t let you do that .

You haven’t been looking too good today , it really would be best for you to take a break .

You can get back to it after you’ve recovered a bit , alright ? >

< Heh … alright , thank you ~ >

He is then going to fetch you everything you may need to feel as warm and comfortable as possible , almost materializing next to you out of thin air with blankets and drinks while constantly checking if you’re okay …

Bullfrog really does take his duty to take care of his beloved very , very seriously .

< Are you sure you’re comfortable like this , my dear ? Maybe I should bring you some more blankets , or - >

< *chuckle* you’re always so sweet ~ I’m fine Bullfrog , don’t worry too much about me … >

If he has no missions that day , Bullfrog will be more than happy to lay down next to you and spend some time together .

And if you get worried about him being so close to you when you’re sick ? Well , he’ll quickly ease you out of it …

< Are you sure this is okay ? What if I get you sick too ? I don’t want to - >

< Trust me mon cher , I’m going to be just fine … all I want you to think about is relaxing and taking care of yourself . That’s all I need . >

When you eventually start to fall asleep , Bullfrog loves to snuggle closer to you and hold you in his arms , his fingers tracing your back with a gentle motion while smiling lovingly in front of your beautiful face …

Every moment this frog gets to spend with you is wonderful , even just staying quietly by your side while you recover from being sick .

He’d then lean closer to leave a kiss on your cheek , whispering one last thing in your ear before allowing his eyes to close as well …

< Good night , mon beau y/n …

Je t'aime ~ >

Rayman 🧡

Since you’re usually the one taking care of his health ( this man does tend to overwork himself to the point of exhaustion ) , believe me when I say that Rayman is determined to do all he can to help you now that you’re the one being sick :

you’re the one person that’s given him nothing but love and support despite his appearance , after all … making sure that you’re okay is top priority for Eden’s voice .

Similarly to Bullfrog , Rayman is going to make sure that you have everything you need to help you feel comfortable while you recover , giving you full access to all the comforts of his lounge :

as his partner , he wants you to receive only the best from him .

< Are you sure you got enough pillows ? >

< Mhm , these are so soft … I love them ! Thanks Ray ! >

< Heh , anything for you darling ~ >

If you’re having trouble to fall asleep I can definitely see Rayman sitting beside you and comforting you with his pretty singing voice …

The sight of you relaxing in his arms while he does this never fails to make his heart skip a beat , and he honestly couldn’t see himself feel this happy with anyone other than you ://)

Eventually though he has to return to take care of business related things , since the Board of Directors barely leaves him chances to breathe , and whenever that happens Rayman can’t help but feel really guilty at the thought of leaving you alone while you’re still sick …

Though he’ll leave a kiss on your forehead before going out , as well as a note for you to read when you wake up .

“Sorry , had to leave for work …

Please take it easy for the rest

of the day honey , and if you need

something just call me and I’ll do

all I can to be back as soon as possible !

I’ll see you later , I love you ! <3”

Ramon 🖤

The second he notices that you’re not feeling well , Ramon is very quick to act :

he just picks you up , no matter what you might’ve been doing , carrying you to the bedroom bridal style without getting even slightly phased by your attempts to not worry about you .

< I’m okay , really , you don’t have t - >

< Nah , I think I do have to .

Now come on , you need to lay down . >

He definitely remains by your side the whole time , not only to be there for you now that you’re sick , but also to make sure that you don’t try to sneak out of the room to keep taking care of other matters …

Trust me when I say that you simply won’t be able to move an inch without Ramon noticing .

< y/n , I see you over there … get back to bed . Now . >

< Aww … I thought I had it this time … but really , this is nothing ! You don’t have to worry so much about me … >

< I want to , love … I want to take care of you the same way you’ve always taken care of me . You’re not bothering me , you … heh , you never do . >

If you feel like cuddling before getting some sleep , Ramon will be more than happy to oblige :

he loves having you snuggled close , your warmth and the sound of your heartbeat taking away all of his worries for the time being while he peppers your face with kisses , smiling at your giggles …

The prospective of him getting sick as well doesn’t phase him : you never worried about that when taking care of him after all , so now this man is just determined to stay by your side regardless of the consequences , and no amount of attempts to convince him otherwise is going to work .

< But what if you get sick too ? That would be bad ! >

< Well , that means more chances to be this close to you … that doesn’t really sound bad , right darling ? ~ >

< Pfft … ~

Alright , alright … just be careful , okay ? >

< I will be . >

Even when you eventually fall asleep , Ramon is going to stay awake , watching over you the whole time to prevent any possible surprises from any of Eden’s buddies :

it’s not just his lingering fear to get caught , he simply can’t afford to lose you …

You’re all he has left , his only hope in that messed up world he’s living in , so he will protect you no matter what it takes .

< Sleep well , y/n … I won’t let anyone hurt you , I promise . >

#captain laserhawk #x reader #bullfrog x reader #rayman x reader #bullfrog captain laserhawk #captain laserhawk bullfrog #captain lazerhawk rayman #captain lazerhawk bullfrog #rayman #gender neutral reader

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star1ight0 · 10 days

Text

Shouta Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada x PLATONIC KID!!

I crave comfort so here

Tw : Ed /sh

Not many people were aware of your relationship with your homeroom teacher and English teacher known as Mr. Aizawa and his loud husband Mic but they were your dad's. In the beginning of the year they both made it clear no special treatment would be given and you appreciated it a lot.

This also came with its ups and downs trying to fight the urge to hug you dad in front of class after villain attacks ect, as much as they'd both fight it they also struggled to accessively check on you when you all moved to dorms.

Having grown up always close to him after they adopted you from a abusive home. had its drags on you all You weren't entirely sure when this overwhelming feeling of despair started but it felt so shitty, you had no reason to feel this way you had a good life. Loving dads, a nice school and a few friends you hold dear to you. It was so long ago why was this still bothering you.

You remembered a conversation you had with your dad, Mic recalling how Aizawa was struggling with mental health and how it wasn't an effect of things around him but rather his brain chemistry. You looked at your phone debating on calling your family group chat to ask them for help but managed to talk yourself out of it resorting to crying on your closet floor.

After a few minutes of crying you managed to pull yourself together grabbing some clothes and deciding this was all in your head and you had no reason to feel so shitty. Heading out your room you feel a tap on your shoulder "it's past curfew kid" you turn around to see you father Hizashi looking around you you look back at him eyes still puffy "Sorry dad, just needed a shower" you say attempting to walk away when you feel a hand in you wrist "were you crying little listener?" You flinch at the childhood nickname your dad had given you "No, sorry just tired" you say pulling away "either your high or you were crying which one is it kid" He says pointing to your eyes "its nothing dad please just let me shower"

You pull away walking away leaving your dad in the hall alone. You took a long shower, trying to scrub off the memories of your past home. You get out the shower and go back to your dorm laying down on the floor ignoring the fact your bed was no more than 3 feet away. You look at your phone to see Aizawa texted you

You okay kiddo?

Yeah sorry for worrying y'all just a bad day

Are you sure

Yeah

If you say so, me and Hizashi are here if you need us. Now go to bed it's late

The conversation was short and to the point but you still felt the need to want to call him and tell him these awful feelings you were having.

A few days passed when you got an email from an all too familiar name, it was your biological mom. The very same woman who had given you physical and mental problems along with nonstop nightmares for 2 years. You had changed everything phone number homes socal midea accounts anything that she could you to find you. Yet her name is in your inbox with a paragraph calling you names and threatening you. Everything felt so out of control like nothing you did to get away from her was enough. But she knew now, she knew what school you went to. 1-A had been on TV after all, you should have known it was only a matter of time. You looked at your phone blankly feeling your body shake and tears fall from your face. You reached for your pocket knife making a cut on your thigh it felt good like you finally had control over how you felt like you had control over something when everything around you was so chaotic. This was bad you knew that but it felt too good to want to care.

Overtime the threatening emails from your mother piled up only feeding the fear she'd find you and harm you, in turn causing more scars to be formed on your legs. You dads had quickly talked notice to you change in dimanar and talked it over amongst themselves and tried to reach out to you but it was all brushed off as a bad week of a bad day.

This began to escalate more than your lack of interest in food came about you seemed so tired too tired to even eat. This is where they drew the line. No kid of theirs would be passing out in training. They just couldn't figure out how to talk to you about this without you shutting down and shutting them out.

Monday morning training came about and you felt exhausted like your whole body was about to give out. This was only further proven when you passed out before training with Todoroki without him even activating either of his quirks. Both Hizashi and Aizawa rushed to your side as another student ran to get recovery girl. You woke up in the nurses office with both your dad's next to you looking worried out their minds.

"Recovery girl said you'd be fine.. as long as you ate and drank probably." There was a silence filled with worry and a bit of anger

"I'm sorry dad-" you were cut off by Hizashi hugging you, "please don't scare me like that kid" he said holding you as if you were gonna disappear. "Talk to us if you need to kiddo. You know we'll listen. "

You hugged him back going back to your dorm early as you were excused from all classes for the day, sitting on your floor you checked your phone to see another email this time from your biological father. Your mom texting you was one thing you knew in some way she didn't have the gut to actually hurt you but your dad, he'd hunt you down and kill you, metaphorically and literally. You felt a wave of fear washing over you and you sobbed standing up hands on your head pacing around your room crying and shaking. You reach for your knife once more sliding down the wall making a cut in an almost fully healed scar feeling that feeling of control comes back. You made a few more before stopping, taking a deep breath grabbing your first aid kit sitting in the same spot of the floor. Yeah you felt stupid but not stupid enough to not clean this kind of thing. As you were cleaning up you heard a knock at your door

"Kid? It's us can we talk?"

Aizawa says still waiting at the door "Y-yeah give me a minute please!!" You shout rushing to put the first aid kit away and some sweatpants and throw your knife under the bed you wipe your face, and open the door

"Kid are you okay you look a little.. worse than earlier "

"yeah I'm fine just not in a great mood" you said looking at your phone placed in the far end of the bed. They both came Into your room and sat on your bed and attempted to talk to you about what had been bothering you. The conversation went in circles before you placed your head in Aizawa's lap and your legs. Your dad Hizashi standing at the foot of your bed about to leave seeing as it seemed to have been handled was stopped by a blood stain on the floor.

"Shouta, I think we should stay till she wakes up"

"hm. I mean I'm not against it but why ?"

He points at the blood spot on the floor and Shoutas eyes widen.

"they are knocked out right now so can you look for whatever is being used ?"

He nods looking around your room eyes landing on a pocked knife shining under your bed.

"here, I'll put it in our room" he says showing Shouta before closing it and placing it in his pocket, as he was above to leave his stopped by the light of your phone along with a name he recognized followed by a scowl.

"Shouta I'm gonna check their phone for something"

He gives Hizashi a confused look but unable to move because of your sleeping form he allows him to do so, you trusted them enough to let them know your passwords but they had never not trusted you enough to go through your phone. He opens the email, reading it the existing and seeing y'all the others. He made a face of pure disgust and walked toward Shouta showing him the inbox along with one of the emails it had.

Both had decided to stay in your room till morning planning in talking to you about this night of rather unfortunate events. But this was cut short by the feeling of you hyperventilating in Shoutas lap. Hizashi gently shakes him awake and they both attempt to comfort you untimatly failing as you wake you shaking tears forming in your eyes. An all too familiar scene for your dad's to witness.

"it's okay kid, your okay" Hizashi whispered patting your head as Aizawa rubbed your shoulder.

"sorry i-"

"No apologies. We know everything so there's no need to hide anything from us anymore"

Shouta says looking up at his husband

"you could have really hurt yourself kid"

"i know I just - " you were cut off my a knot in your throat as you scrambled to find the words "everything feels so out of control and I can control this you know?" Shouta nooding in agreement.

"why did you come to is kiddo?

"i- I didn't want you to worry you. You guys had enough going on.."

You said your voice is still shaking between sobs.

"you'd never be a bother to us. It's our job as you parents to check on you and worry for you"

You all had a long talk about possible coping strategies and ways to communicate you wanted to talk about something without feeling bothersome. A few relapses were bound to happen and they both knew this but did everything they could to ensure it didn't. Even if it meant letting the whole class know you were their kid so you could go in the teachers wing of the dorms. You began slowly getting better with set backs here and there, but by setting up and new email and talking more about what your depression episodes felt like, both your dad were able to help you through it

Yes it's messy I wrote 75% of this in one go and the other half after my shower. And it's like 12:58am

Requests are open but slow

Please reach out if you need to to!!

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heliza24 · 2 months

Text

Being a physically disabled Dimension 20 fan breaks my heart sometimes

I’ve been thinking about this since last Wednesday’s episode when we finally got a real scene with Lydia, one of the few physically disabled characters in the entire canon of the show. It was nice, but it was really just a lore dump. An excuse for exposition. A moment for Kristen to look good by expending sympathy/pity. (I’m a little frustrated about how that interaction went down. Extending the help action was nice but patronizingly touching the neck of a full-ass adult without consent was not. It was weird and not something she would have done to a nondisabled character).

I have watched almost all of D20 (still missing a couple of seasons) and as far as I know here’s where our list of canon physically disabled characters stand: Lydia Barkrock, Jan de la Vega (who feels pretty problematic to me, maybe more on that in a later post), one of the Dwarven statues in the temple in The Seven (who is not given the dignity of being brought to life like Asha), and Pete’s coworker in TUC2 who is in exactly one episode and is so unimportant I have forgotten his name. I guess you could make an argument that Gunny is disabled, but I don't feel that Lou or Brennan really talk about him or play him through that lens. So in terms of canon physically disabled PCs-- that leaves us with 0.

We do a bit better with neurodivergent characters and characters with mental health problems; Ayda (my beloved) is very well developed and Adaine is a PC. There have been some openly neurodivergent players, like Omar and Surena, whose characters also read ND to me. But that isn’t labeled or discussed in canon, so it's hard for me to know where to class that. I am going to focus the rest of this post on physical disabilities, since that is my area of lived experience. If another fan wants to write about their perspective of neurodivergence rep in the show, I would love to hear that, and will happily amplify.

There has never been a character with a sensory disability or a limb difference or a chronic illness (not a fantasy one, a real one) on Dimension 20. The only NPCs we have are nondescript, similar wheelchair users. And there has never been a physically disabled player at the table. On the flagship show of Dropout, a company founded on diversity and inclusion. It feels extremely pointed to me.

In fact as far as I can tell there has only been one (1) physically disabled performer on any of Dropout’s shows. (Shout out to Brett, you were great on Dirty Laundry.) Obviously I haven’t seen every episode of everything they have produced. If I have missed someone, please do let me know in the comments/reblogs. But it’s a problem. And Sam Reich even agreed with this criticism when I asked him directly about.

I do really hope they’re working on it, as Sam says. But why has it taken so long?

Dimension 20 has had trans and nonbinary and queer players. It has had players of many different races. I’m not saying that the diversity here is perfect; there should always be more POC in the dome, more queer people. We should keep pushing for that. (And we should also push for performers at the intersections of these identities!) But we’ve seen the ways this diversity has expanded and improved the different seasons, because diverse players create sensitively drawn, diverse player characters. They add details to their PC’s experiences that make them feel rich and alive. I’m thinking about each of Ally’s PC’s incredible capital G gender and Aabria “all my characters (even the stoats) are Black” and how excellent they all are. D20 would not be the show it is without this input.

And yet. And yet.

There are 1,000 interesting and complicated themes to explore around disability. Dealing with access. Dealing with ableism. Dealing with compassion and community care. Dealing with none of it and just being a cool fantasy or sci fi character that happens to be disabled. We don’t get any of it.

I watch my favorite show and I see myself in the ace rep and the female characters. But I don’t see all of me. I see a silent but ever present message: you aren’t quite welcome here.

I have this fantasy that I play in my brain sometimes that someday I’ll get to talk to Brennan in person, like maybe if I buy a VIP ticket and risk Covid to go to a live show or we run into each other on the street or something. I am able to look him in the eye and articulate why he NEEDS to include a physically disabled player in an upcoming season. I reference the ways he’s talked about inclusion and writing diversely on Adventuring Party. Maybe I hand him a handwritten letter, or hell, a printout of this post. And because he really cares about diversity and his shows and his fans he would listen to me, and cast a physically disabled performer in the next season.

But I think that might be giving that nondisabled man (whose work I adore, who I respect so much) too much credit. Because he’s had Jennifer Kretchmer, a physically disabled actual play performer, on adventuring academy to talk about access in gaming. He’s hired disability consultants. He knows about physically disabled people, enough to give us shoutouts as inconsequential npcs. And he still hasn’t thought to include us at the table. In over 20 seasons. None of that other stuff matters if we aren't given a seat at the story telling table, and the agency to craft our own narratives equal to other participants in the game.

When Lydia was telling her story in the last episode, I kept wishing for a prequel, where she is more than a plot delivery device and a kind but unimportant parent. I want to know about her adventures with her adventuring party. I want to see a talented, wheelchair-using actor play out the scene when she decides to put the gem in her chest. I want to hear about what happened after. I want to know how she survived. I want it so badly it hurts.

I am in the process of trying to find new indie actual plays that feature more disabled talent. I am learning how to GM myself so I can tell these kinds of stories. But it’s not the same as being a fan of something. Sometimes I don’t want to have to make my own representation. Sometimes I just want to turn on my favorite tv show, the one that I have cosplayed from and written metas about and loved whole heartedly, and see myself included.

If you’re another disabled or neurodivergent fan I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re not, I’d love for you to reblog this. I would love for the absence of physical disability in this show to be a topic of fandom conversation, at the very least.

#dimension 20 #d20 #my crip media reviews #being a fan is hard sometimes #and being disabled means you get left out of “diversity” all the time #I love this show so much it hurts #I wish it could love me back a little bit more #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #my meta #dropout #dropout tv #Sam reich

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rindouheart · 1 year

Note

hiii!! how's your day going?? i hope you have a good day♡♡. i was wondering if you could write some headcanons about yukimiya and nagi (i know you said you write for almost everyone but you can ignore nagi if you dont want to write him) having a crush on someone who is really flirty and affectionate??? you can avoid this request if you dont feel like writing dont be pressured please. thank you for reading my request, take care♡♡💕

YUKIMIYA and NAGI falling for an affectionate s/o 🌿

content. pure fluff + gender neutral s/o

author’s note. hi cutie, tysm for your request + AWWW YUKKI MY BB i love him more than my own life and yes, i also write for nagi despite being a btch towards reo (love/hate relationship with this giant marshmallow). I hope you like it!

YUKIMIYA KENYU

this boy!!!

he’s obviously used to be surrounded by people (especially girls) since he’s a model.

yukki has experienced many love confessions towards him, but he never had the chance to say the ✨ magic words ✨ to someone important for him.

and then there’s you. his best friend since childhood. you, his special someone.

you’ve always loved to give him hugs and to compliment him about his football achievements.

he just goes aww when he sees you.

yukki realises that he’s in love with you when otoya asked him “are you looking for them again?”

holy shit.

he absolutely adores when you give him loads of affection.

how to make him melt on the spot: say “i love you so much, yukki”

oh boy he fell so hard for you.

“you know you’re the best person i’ve ever met in my whole life?”

yukki dot exe stopped working

yukki often has to cover his face when you say something flirty to him.

he’s so embarrassed omg, he can’t even look at you without blushing 😭

he used to think that flirty and extremely affectionate people were kind of a burden, but you made him reconsider his opinion.

you’re so charming and sweet that he wants to protect you

while he was in blue lock and hadn’t access to his phone he missed you A LOT

yukki would probably confess to you on the two weeks break: he invited you to a cafè to meet his teammates and friends.

then, when you all went to the nearby arcade, he won a pink teddy bear in one of those damned claw machines.

he gave it to you and asked if you wanted to be his partner (!!!)

shocked otoya and karasu in the background

NAGI SEISHIRO

clearly clueless

he didn’t mind your clingy behaviour.

at first, reo introduced you to him, because he thought that having a couple more friends wouldn’t harm nagi’s health.

nagi was like “okay, whatever”

you weren’t sure if nagi was okay with too much affection all at once, so you just sat beside him and laid your head on his shoulder.

“you’re comfortable”, you pulled out your phone and started playing a random game.

reo absolutely adores you two as a soon-to-be couple.

nagi has mixed feelings: he loves and hates the fuzzy feeling that you give him.

“sooo… we’ve been picked to participate in this football special programme” reo was the one who told you about blue lock.

“can i give you a hug?” you asked to nagi before leaving

he obviously said yes!! he didn’t mind your affectionate behaviour at all!!

while his stay at blue lock, nagi always thinks about how much he misses your lovely actions towards him.

and when you kiss him on the cheek and say “i’ll miss you, seishiro”

he just 🧍🏻

reo basically died on the spot

nagi will never admit that he has feelings for someone who has an opposite character in comparison with his.

he would invite you to his apartment and play genshin impact with you (adorable)

“how did you become so good at league of legends? this game is so difficult” - nagi loves when you compliment his gaming skills.

you’re the only person who can play badly and not annoy nagi. this is how he tells you “i like you”.

you fell asleep on his shoulder while he was playing fifa on his PlayStation.

he thought that you were the cutest person he’s ever seen (yes, he took a selfie and sent it to reo).

he would confess his love for you by initiating an hug or whatever that has to do with affection.

he’s so awww when he hugs you, this 190cm marshmallow gives the best hugs ever, but he doesn’t know that.

@rindouheart ‘s headcanons — 01222023

#bllk #blue lock #bllk headcanons #bllk imagines #blue lock x reader #nagi seishiro #seishiro nagi #bllk scenarios #bllk nagi #yukimiya kenyu #blue lock yukimiya #blue lock nagi #kenyu yukimiya #bllk yukimiya #bllk x y/n #bllk x you #blue lock headcanons

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sirfrogsworth · 4 months

Text

I really wish we could reorient how society talks about weight loss. Because losing weight is very challenging and I don't want to take the joy away from someone who accomplished a difficult goal. But it would also be nice if people didn't imply if you are overweight you are just a miserable blob.

I have a lot of complicated feelings about weight and weight loss. I know I don't always agree or align with the fat positive outlook. I am too fat. It is causing me a lot of health difficulties. I don't think weight should be the only consideration for doctors when diagnosing a health issue. I do think overweight people can be healthy. But I also think there is a line where that is no longer true. And I think some people don't want to acknowledge that line exists.

When I have a health issue, I just want to be able to go to the doctor and not have them automatically conclude, "It's because fat." I want them to do tests and properly diagnose what's wrong. And if being fat is a contributing factor, I want proof, not an assumption. But I'm not going to pretend that being fat has no health risks either.

And then there is the fact that meaningful long-term weight loss is extremely rare. But if you are past the line where it is a major risk, what other option is there to avoid inevitable health complications?

Then you have all the people calling stretch marks "tiger stripes" and they spend all of this time trying to convince people that everyone is beautiful and that just seems like a fool's errand. I don't need everyone to think I'm beautiful. Why is beautiful the goal? If someone doesn't find me aesthetically pleasing, that is fine. It's when they care that I am *not* pleasing to them. When they feel the sight of me is an insult to them, that is when I care. I just want people to think, "That's not for me" and move on.

There are 8 billlion people in this world. There are plenty of folks who like what I've got going on. I don't have the energy to convince everyone else my stretch marks are an attractiveness multiplier.

Honestly, it is all a mess. I saw an article on Ozempic and they interviewed some fat people that seemed angry it existed. But if I can lose 30% of my body weight I can reduce the risk of heart disease and control my diabetes much better. Why would anyone be angry I have access to a tool like that? I'm more angry that people who are using it for aesthetic goals are messing up the supply. It should be prioritized for people with health risks first.

So, yeah. I want to be respected. I don't want to be pitied. And if someone doesn't find me attractive, I just want them to not care about my appearance at all. I know some feel differently, but that is where I've landed.

#trigger warning #weight #weight loss

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