#sorry another disclaimer but also i know my experiences are not universal

[much-ado-about-whumping]

Help for when you’re having a rough time

(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)

In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you. 

First, a note:

Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.

A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)

That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:

1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)

If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.

There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3

2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)

One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)

3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)

I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).

4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).

As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read. 

5. Warmlines:

This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.

6. Specialized hotlines: 

There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)

With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:

A. For queer and trans folks in general:

Trans LifeLine

Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)

Available in English and Spanish

Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)

Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!

Does not offer text/chat-based support

I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.

The Trevor Project:

Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks

Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.

Offers support via phone [phone]), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)

Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24

Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).

Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!

B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:

Call Blackline:

Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)

Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.

From their website:

Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.

Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:

You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.

Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.

C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:

Fireside Project:

This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.

7. A soothing distraction:

One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline [phone], or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)

--------

Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.

And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3

(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)

One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.

#whump community #how to be a person in the world #ways to stay afloat #suicide mention cw #suicidality mention cw #self-harm mention cw #resources for taking care of yourself #bel talks #touchstones #sorry another disclaimer but also i know my experiences are not universal #my feelings might come from a really different place than other people's feelings #idk for instance if any of the shit in this post would have been at all useful to moya #but I'm sharing it anyway in case it's useful to SOMEONE

[rhys-ravenfeather]

I will admit upfront that this is just 100% me being bitter, and probably a bit petty, not to mention basically just repeating myself since I’ve said stuff like this before in previous posts, but as a biracial person, I really wish that there was more representation/recognition of biracial people, and the mixed-race experience, not only in canon media, but in more fandom circles.

#rhys-ravenfeather signing on #mixedpeople #mixedheritage #earlier today i was thinking about a CERTAIN popular headcanon from a certain popular series again and like... #look putting everything else aside #looking at that particular character and what they happen to be i...kind of see another take #and not just them but honestly half-human/hybrid characters in general #i may have mentioned right now that i've been rewatching trollhunters and i'm ngl...i feel a certain kinship with the changelings... #look full disclaimer--it's 2023 if you want to see fictional characters as having a certain sexuality and/or gender identity go for it! #i'm just...i don't know; i guess i just KIND OF wish my experience was more universal? #that certain character views/headcanons didn't drown others out? #again this isn't to dump on anyone or any group of people #but on the other hand; like i mentioned some time back the character i related to most for a while as a kid was a hecking WOLFDOG #and let me tell you--as a fair-skinned mixed-race girl who grew up in the tropics #and constantly thought about the fact that she didn't look like most of the other people around her that was pretty dang CATHARTIC to me #yeah again sorry i know this is dumb and it got long this is just kind of something i had to vent about #also sorry if i stepped on anyone's toes--all of you are wonderful and valid

[weirdkpopgirl]

Starving Yourself | Dream Reaction #6

Reaction: When their gf skips meals

Genre: Angst, slight fluff

Warnings: subtle mention of eating disorders, body image issues, lots of crying (I apologize)

Word Count: 3435k

Author's Note: I've had this subject in the back of my mind for a while now. A few days ago, I just got into it and thankfully finished today. I want to first credit my friend who helped me come up with scenarios for this lol.

Just a little disclaimer, I wanted to say something for those with poor body image. I feel like you hear things like this a lot, and you might read more things like "oh I also struggle too," and "please don't feel bad about yourself." When I was working on this, I did write some of the stories based on experience. So I don't have any right to advise on improving your self-esteem or working to have better eating habits. I'd be a hypocrite if I said those things. All I can say is that I know how what self-hatred is like, and how it can take you down some dark paths.

Please stay strong. I am very sorry for how long this note is 😅

~ ~ ~

MARK

His life was going normally, being a workaholic as always. At the same time, he felt more at ease since he was dating you. The other night, you guys went out on a movie date to see the new Black Panther film. It wasn’t until near the end of the movie that he noticed the popcorn you bought was barely touched. But knowing your slight dislike for greasy foods, Mark didn't think too much about it.

After dropping you off, he returned to his dorm. He was met by the Dream members who appeared to have been waiting for him.  They watched quietly as their leader removed his shoes and took his jacket off.

“Hyung?” Jisung asked cautiously.

“Yeah? What’s up?” The Dreamies exchanged looks with each other that he couldn’t quite read. Was it uncertainty?

“I don’t think he knows,” Chenle murmured, causing Mark’s brows to furrow in confusion.

“Know what?”

Chenle glanced at his hyung, and back toward the members beside him. But he was going to tell Mark the truth no matter what.

“That (Y/n) collapsed at her university last week.”

Mark stepped back, clearly shocked by this news. “What? Why?!”

“Apparently she wasn’t eating much,” answered Jaemin.

“She’s your girlfriend. Didn’t you notice something was off?” Haechan’s voice raised slightly. As one of your good friends, the singer couldn’t help but show his irritation. He knew Mark had been so caught up in work recently. But you’ve been struggling for a long time now.

Now in distress, Mark ran a hand through his hair as he searched his memory for anything he might’ve missed. He paused for a moment, remembering the popcorn from earlier. Then he was dashing back out the door, despite it starting to rain.

That was how you heard the sound of your doorbell ringing close to midnight. Luckily you were awake, but you were surprised to see Mark soaking wet. He also looked as if he was about to cry any second.

Despite your befuddlement, you pulled the man inside so he could change into some dry clothes. Mark would bring up to you what the guys told him earlier. At that moment, you began to regret hiding your problems from your boyfriend. You’ve never seen him so worried before.

You spent the rest of the evening—or morning cuddling in bed. Mark kept repeating how much he loved you and apologized for making you feel like you couldn’t come to him. All he sincerely wished for was for you to be happy and healthy. He wasn't going to allow another incident to happen.

✎__________________________________________________________

RENJUN

You had spent nearly an hour getting ready to meet up with Renjun’s parents. Seeing them was the first thing on your list for a weekend trip to your boyfriend’s hometown. It’s been nearly a year since you last met his parents, which made you more nervous than usual.

Renjun’s eyes lit up when you finally came out of the bathroom. He instantly recognized the white blouse with a dark blue floral print and the matching blue skirt you were wearing. It was the outfit he bought you not too long ago. 

“Wow, you look so pretty!” He exhaled. There was no hiding how taken away he was with you.

Even though you didn’t agree with his compliment, you thanked him shyly. Renjun noticed something wasn’t quite right pretty fast. The previous times you were about to meet his parents didn’t feel like this. But he couldn’t pinpoint why things felt strange with you.

Deciding to not dwindle on it, you guys left the hotel to meet up with Renjun’s parents at a restaurant. His mother quickly stood up when she spotted you two coming in. While she happily hugged her son, you exchanged greetings with his father.

“It’s so nice to see you again, (Y/n),” Mr. Huang smiled warmly.

You bowed your head politely, “Thank you. I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

Mrs. Huang pulled away from her son to get a better look at you. Her eyes filled with slight concern, and she took your hands. “My Dear, you’ve gotten skinnier!”

That's what it was. Renjun now knew what he was wondering about earlier. Preoccupied with carrying on a conversation with his mom and dad, you didn’t notice how he observed you throughout dinner. He waited until you guys came back to your hotel room to confront you.

“(Y/n), are you okay?”

Your body tensed slightly at his question. “Of course I am. What makes you ask that?”

“It’s just—you’ve become so thin lately. Also, you barely ate anything tonight, and you love Chinese food,” He pointed out. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?”

Honestly, you felt like you’ve been playing a game over the past few weeks. Wondering how long you could hide your unhealthy eating habits from Renjun. Of course, it didn’t take him very long.

Your eyes dropped to the floor. “Nothing—I just haven’t been hungry recently.”

“(Y/n)-ah, please don’t lie. You have to eat,” Renjun chastised. 

He walked over to your side and lifted your chin with the tips of his fingers. “Now I know why you’ve been so tired lately. If you keep this up, you can faint or something worse might happen.”

“I’m sorry. I guess, I just wanted to look my best for you and your parents,” You admitted, after a short pause. 

In return, Renjun pressed his lips against your forehead. “For the record, my parents love you, and so do I. You don’t need to change anything about yourself. Especially if your health is at risk.”

You melted into his touch, and let yourself sink into his embrace. Renjun was always there to reassure you that you were more than enough for him.

✎__________________________________________________________

JENO

Jeno and you were a newer couple, after having met through mutual friends at university. His major was computer programming, while you studied creative writing. So your schedules were different, but you did share one class. 

Your boyfriend was the one to convince you to take dance. Honestly, you were a little reluctant at first. But you ended up signing up for the class to spend more time with him. Since Jeno was more athletic, dancing was a lot easier for him. You…not so much. It was still fun, despite the increasing levels of anxiety the class gave you every week.

One afternoon, you met up after both of your classes finished. That’s when he asked to eat lunch together later. Yeah, a typical thing for a just-got-into-a-relationship boyfriend.

You agreed to his sweet offer. But you didn’t think when you jokingly added that it felt weird since you usually ate one meal a day. Jeno turned to you in astonishment.

“Eo? Only once?!” 

Confused by his reaction, you slowly nodded. “Yeah…”

He stopped walking and moved his hand to your shoulder.

“(Y/n)-ah, that isn’t healthy,” He lightly scolded. 

But you quickly brushed off his concern for your eating habits. You took his hand and dragged him to the school’s dance studio. “It’s not a big deal, Jeno-ssi. We better hurry, class starts soon.”

In spite of Jeno being slightly wary, you seemed to be learning the new dance routine fairly smoothly. That was until you were changing formations and you started to become dizzy. Huffing quietly, you shook your head to dismiss the slow onset of a headache and kept up with the next moves. This feeling was something you were used to whenever you did any intense physical activity. 

However, things were different when the room suddenly began to spin. Your legs were the first to give out, shortly after. Wincing, you pressed your knuckles against your forehead. Gasps and words you couldn’t process only irritated you more. Fortunately, Jeno rushed to pick you up off the ground and carried you to the health office.

The nurse checked up on you after getting settled. “Did you eat anything today?” She asked. 

Jeno couldn’t hide a scoff when you told the woman you had. He frowned when the nurse advised you to rest. Once she left, Jeno allowed himself to sigh.

“(Y/n), you need to eat more.”

“I-I think I just need rest,” You contradicted him.

The boy crossed his arms in persistence. “How can you rest when you have a headache because you don’t eat three meals a day?”

His tone softened a bit when he realized how fatigued you were. Lecturing wasn’t going to help you in this state. With another sigh, he made his way to the chair you were sitting in.

“Rest for now,” He said gently. “I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Jeno petted your head and pecked you on the lips before dashing out of the room. You waited anxiously for about 15 minutes before your boyfriend came back with assorted types of kimbap. He must’ve bought some from the nearby stand owned by a halmeoni.

You almost cried when he opened the wrapper and fed you. For the first time, someone showed you that they cared. Though you were both early in the relationship, you couldn’t stop yourself from falling deeper for Lee Jeno. Most likely, love.

✎__________________________________________________________

HAECHAN

Due to upcoming exams, you and Haechan spent your Saturday afternoon in the library preparing. Studying on a weekend may not be an ideal date in Haechan’s opinion. At the same time, he knew how stressed you got when exam season came around. But that didn’t stop him from complaining now and then.

“Aish, I missed breakfast because Jaemin was taking too long,” Haechan groaned.

He pouted when he received no response from you. His salty mood prevented him from getting anything done. On the other hand, you were ultra-focused on finishing up an essay for one of your English classes. However, you snapped out of your zone by Haechan’s hand tapping on the corner of your laptop.

“Are you hungry too? Did you have breakfast?”

Almost instinctively, you replied to his question with a simple “no.” You shook your head when he asked if your roommate was also running late this morning.

“I just forgot,” You said absentmindedly.

He watched your eyes flicker back to the computer screen in front of you. It kind of seemed like you wanted to end the conversation quickly. But you couldn’t escape your boyfriend that easily.

Then he asked, “How do you forget to eat breakfast?”

The cool expression on your face slowly faded, as you stopped to think for a moment. Lately, finals haven't only been your source of stress. This past month was spent traveling back and forth between Seoul and Pohang to take care of your sick mother. On top of that, you were balancing school life and hiding your problems from everyone. You guessed self-neglect was a result of all that.

Haechan noticed your sudden change and instantly became worried when tears formed in your eyes. He proceeded to reach his hand across the table to take yours.

“(Y/n), is everything okay?”

You promptly clasped your opposite hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs. At least you still had half the mind to cry quietly, remembering you were at a library. Usually, you were the last person to have an emotional outburst. But Haechan’s question made you realize how not okay you were.

Fortunately, your boyfriend was quick to act and rushed to your side. His arms wrapped around your shoulders, holding you in a tight embrace that would hopefully calm you down. 

A few minutes later, Haechan closed your laptop. “Okay, you’re going to stop thinking about school for the rest of the day.”

“Hyuck…” You wanted to argue, though you knew he was already standing up and packing your things away.

“You can tell me what’s been bothering you over lunch,” He added, “Does jjamppong sound okay?”

Haechan had no idea what was causing you to break down, or why you weren’t taking care of yourself. But getting you to eat was his priority, and he started by recommending your favorite dish. 

Since then, he’s become a lot more protective and gone out of his way to take care of you more. Whenever he was down, you were always there to support him. So that’s what he was going to do for you.

✎__________________________________________________________

JAEMIN

The first thing he did after getting out of bed was to look for you. He was a little sulky that you didn’t get to wake up together. Especially since he hasn’t seen you in one month and two weeks. Jaemin loved his job, but he hated how it also brought this distance in between you two. What made him feel worse was how you never complained. Not even this time, when he showed up at your apartment at one a.m. Instead of scolding him for coming over at such a crazy hour or for walking to your place in the cold, you simply led him into your room to get some much-needed sleep.

Luckily, it didn’t take long for Jaemin to find you. He was greeted by one of his favorite aromas when entering the kitchen. And there you were at the counter, carefully pouring a pot of steaming dark liquid into a blue mug. Watching you he realized you had gotten up early to make coffee for him.

As his heart swelled with a dozen emotions, he walked up to stand behind you. Barely startled by his presence, you merely glanced upward to see the tired grin on his face. 

“Did you sleep well?” He responded with a delicate kiss on your exposed neck.

His arms circled your waist, gently pulling your back to meet his chest. It was then, did he notice how his girlfriend’s waist was practically nonexistent, or in other words, thin. Thinner than usual and definitely not healthy.

Jaemin’s smile contorted into a look of concern. Slightly pulling away, he turned to you.

“Jagiya, have you been eating well?” His tone was soft, despite his deep voice.

Automatically, you could tell your boyfriend wasn’t speaking in a casual small talk way. Nonetheless, you pretended not to be fazed.

“I’ve been on a diet…” You set the coffee mug down.

He frowned. “What kind, if you don’t mind me asking?”

You cursed in your head, as you hurriedly made up a lie.

“A low-carb diet,” You tried your best to sound assertive.

“A low-carb diet or a no-carb diet?”

You froze in place when you noticed the hint of anger in the last part of his question. Jaemin slowly turned you around to face him. “(Y/n), be honest. Have you been eating well?”

Several seconds of silence passed by, as you couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“No.” There was a catch in your throat, as your lips quivered.

Jaemin brought you back into his embrace when you began to cry. His chin rested on the top of your head, as your tears soaked his shirt. His heart broke at the sound of your sobs. All he could do was press kisses into your hair, and pat your back.

You sniffed, “I just…I just see pictures of us, and I hate how I look when you’re so perfect.”

“(Y/n)-ah…”

“I know it sounds stupid. But I want to be a girlfriend who is also beautiful.”

Jaemin cupped the right side of your face and sighed, “(Y/n)-ah, you’ve always been beautiful to me. You don’t need to lose weight or do anything else to prove that.”

As comforting as his words were, Jaemin knew that it would take more than that to make you feel better. From then on, he didn’t miss a chance to shower you with compliments and affection. He loved you and had no problem making sure you believed that.

✎__________________________________________________________

CHENLE

You were currently on opposite sides of the room. Chenle was watching Instagram videos on his phone, and you were writing the next chapter to a story you started a while ago. This was agreeably considered hanging out with each other. Doing your own thing until someone broke the silence. And this time, it was Chenle.

His stomach growling did not go ignored by him. Naturally, he pulled up a delivery food app. He then paused and looked over to you who was typing away on your computer.

“(Y/n)-ahhh, I’m ordering food. What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” You replied, without looking up.

Chenle sat up in his spot on the couch. “Do you want tteokbokki?”

“Um, I’m not in the mood for tteokbokki.” He saw your head shake behind the computer.

“Jokbal?”

“Haechan will be upset if we eat that without him.”

“How about tonkatsu?”

“Eh…”

“Okay, what about-”

Losing concentration, you shut your laptop in frustration. “I’m not hungry! Just order something for yourself.”

“I want to eat with you though,” He whined. You closed your eyes for a moment and sighed before starting to speak again. 

“But—”

“No buts. You’re going to come here and help me choose something.”

Just as you opened your mouth to protest, Chenle already decided he had enough. He lifted you from your chair which earned him an “are you crazy?” look. Then he brought you to where he was previously sitting. While doing so, he noticed that you were very light.

“How are you not hungry?” Chenle asked. “Your stomach is practically crying out to me.”

You wrapped your arms around your waist self-consciously. “You’re exaggerating, Chenle.”

Even though you made it sound like not a big deal, Chenle had a feeling there was an underlying problem here. He knew that you had a small appetite, but having no desire to eat was separate. For someone who was such a big foodie, the idea of his girlfriend starving herself worried him.

“We haven’t had a meal together in so long,” Chenle pretended to sulk. “But if you really don’t want to eat, I won’t force you.”

Ugh, you just couldn’t resist the rare look of sadness on the boy’s face. He knew you hated to be guilty.

So with a sigh, you slowly made a new suggestion. “Actually…maybe we can get tteokbokki. Can we just share the bowl?” 

As if he wasn’t moping a second ago, Chenle smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “Of course. Anything for you, Cutie.”

✎__________________________________________________________

JISUNG

He sat patiently in the lobby, waiting for you who was at a doctor's appointment. You insisted this was nothing but a normal check-up. But that didn’t stop Jisung from accompanying you. He stood up in slight surprise when you came out earlier than expected.

“(Y/n)-ah! You’re done?” You bobbed your head and grabbed his hand with a small smile. 

Jisung noticed you were being quieter than usual during the drive to your place. But he thought you might be tired from a long day of classes before having to visit the doctor’s office. You’d probably feel better when you got back home.

Once you guys arrived, Jisung was left alone when you went to change into more comfortable clothes. As he plopped down on your small couch, his eyes darted to the medical papers you had previously left on the coffee table. Out of habit, Jisung picked up the papers to organize them. 

However, your recorded weight on the first page caught him off guard. His eyes widened in horror at the number. He knew you were small, especially compared to his size. But he didn’t think you were underweight to the point that it was dangerous. This must’ve been why you barely said anything earlier.

Tears flooded his eyes in an instant when he saw you walk out of the room. Suddenly confused as to why your boyfriend was crying, your lips parted to ask what was wrong. Then you spotted the slightly crumpled papers in his hands.

“Jisung—I can explain,” You spoke calmly, in an attempt to keep your voice stable. 

Jisung looked at you in despair. “Is this why I haven’t seen you eat lately? Or how you don’t want to go shopping together anymore?”

Your confirmed silence made him feel worse. Regardless he rushed up to hug you, engulfing your small frame into his taller figure. The two of you stayed in that position for a long time. Your fingers stroked his back as you also tried to calm him down. You made sure to reassure him that you knew you had a problem and were going to try to build better eating habits. Jisung would offer any support he could give you.

✎__________________________________________________________

#nct #nct dream #nct dream reactions #nct dream scenarios #mark lee #renjun #jeno #haechan #jaemin #chenle #jisung #nana #donghyuck #injun #park jisung #kpop reactions #nctzen #nct angst #nct reactions #czennie

[sky-squido]

Linking Adventure!!!

OKAY SO I FINALLY CAVED

i’ve been daydreaming about link redesigns for years but always figured it was too big a project or nobody would want Yet Another Link Redesign but i actually love every link redesign i’ve seen and there have been more and more lately (props you guys they’re all awesome) so here are mine! i have no intentions to turn this into a full AU even if i do have the plot for it kicking around my brain, i just wanted to share my fun character ideas :3 obligatory disclaimer that this is not LinkedUniverse (or linkedmaze, or linkverse, or bonus links, or—) so don’t tag it as such!

it’s called “Linking Adventure” because *cough* maybe it was an adventure but also because the Point of the adventure is to link the three timelines together before the universe disintegrates. fun! this selection of links, then, is all the ones who get recruited for the quest.

here’s how that went down btw:

Hylia/Zelda (“Vega” in this AU): UGGGGH SkSw Link (“Altair” in this AU): what’s wrong? Vega: I JUST COMMUNED WITH THE GOLDEN GODDESSES Altair: oh no Vega: THEY LET THIS NINE YEAR OLD BREAK THE FABRIC OF REALITY. TWICE Altair: oh no Vega: AND NOW THEY’RE TRYING TO FIX IT Altair: yay? Vega: BY SMASHING ALL THE REALITIES TOGETHER Altair: oh dear. where is this? Vega: in like a buncha millennia Altair: oH. so wait where will you be you at the time? Vega: I doN’t KnOW! Altair: can i help? Vega: yes please Altair: cool. how do i do that. Vega: I’m gonna yell at Nayru and get her to yeet you into the future. there’s three heroes, one in each timeline, whose help you’re gonna need Altair: nice Vega: Oh also go grab the Hero of Legend, too. He’s pals with her oracle and will definitely come in handy Altair: sick Vega: cool okay so to stabilize the Convergence you’re going to need to find the full Triforce in each era and merge them together—that should hold most of reality together pretty solidly. you’ll need each timeline’s master sword to do that, though, since it’s the only artifact strong enough to withstand that kind of power. Also you can’t bring your own Master Sword because that might break reality. i’m sorry. is that too much? you’ve done so much already, you don’t have to— Altair: this isn’t like last time, though. i’ve got more experience, there’s no demon king to fight, and you’ll be safe. that’s all that matters. Vega: thank you. so much. Altair: just don’t erect any statues in my honor while i’m gone Vega: no promises!

and then he went and found everyone and they had a little adventure. here’s the gang! (transcriptions and clarifications of the handwritten text under the cut)

And here’s just some concept sketches about how they’d all fit together as a team

transcription: Favored battle positions (this is really loose) Wind— ranged support Altair— taking out main enemy’s weak point Fire— high damage output Traveler— distract enemy Night— misc.

Anyway! don’t expect more content of this! i just don’t have the patience for comics and i wouldn’t want to tell the story any other way. 

cool! transcriptions below the cut:

FIRE: “The Big Guns” [LoZ 1 & 2] 19 yo (she/her) Nicknamed herself for her favorite spell - uses she/her, don’t question it - has Down Syndrome & ASD - is mostly nonverbal - can speak with a stutter but prefers to sign - if she gets emotional while signing, her hands Will catch fire - abandoned as a baby and raised by fairies - insane magical potential - near-constantly casting life to counteract various health complications - her favorite spell is fire. - she did not hide from Ganon’s cult - fiercely protective & loyal - is very no-nonsense; to the point - when she casts fire, the ends of her scarf flare out like fairy wings - her hands always glow faintly so she can be “heard” in the dark - solves problems with fire - prefers to speak with actions over voice or sign

TRAVELER: [aLttP, OoA, OoS, LA, ALBW] 17 yo (he/him) Nicknamed himself for his passion in life - LOVES adventuring & traveling - hates fighting—prefers to avoid/distract enemies - incredibly fast & agile—attacks by surprise - the lightning strike just before Koholint made him almost completely deaf - and gave him arrhythmia (tachycardia) - gets chest pains/short of breath sometimes - when he’s backed into a corner, he’ll go feral with his magic rods - kid’s a walking encyclopedia - super kindhearted—cannot refuse someone who needs help - incredibly curious & nosy (if someone needs help, he will find out about it) - prefers to sign, but can still talk, since he could hear for most his life, but sometimes he’s hard to understand b/c he’s been deaf for a year. - his eyes are really, REALLY vibrant blue ever since he used the Triforce the second time—they glow faintly in the dark - somehow more level-headed when in danger than when he’s safe - he’s like a freaking cockroach he WILL NOT die - damage reduction items have no effect on pain <3 - pretends Koholint never happened (claims to have only been on 4 adventures) - ✨avoidance coping✨ (Dialogue Sample): “hey, is this place upsetting you? If it helps, I’ve catalogued 4 separate exit routes and have strategies set up for handling all the monsters we’re likely to encounter here!” (Outfit Description): he has pegasus boots, the magic cape from aLttP (which turns him invisible and invincible), the Protection Ring from OoA/OoS (which makes him take 1 heart of damage from every attack), the red tunic from ALBW (which reduces damage taken by 75%), and the Heart Ring L-2 from OoA/OoS (which heals him over time)

WIND [WW+PH] 14 yo (he/him) Nicknamed himself for his position as Wind Waker and his love for the ocean’s breezes - ADHD (hyperactive) and misophonia - he will flip out if a noise bothers him too much - somehow, he always seems upbeat—master of mind over matter - never loses sight of the big picture - can be curled up in a ball, crying, hands over his ears, and still say with full certainty that he loves life - “I’m not okay, but I will be, and that’s enough for me.” - If he loses hope, the world is literally ending - Really Freaking Good with a bow and arrow - his ice, fire, and light arrows are so OP - uses one of Tetra’s cutlasses ever since he jammed the Master Sword into Ganondorf’s skull - he’s had a no-killing-humanoids policy since then, too (clarification: he’ll only kill things that burst into purple smoke upon death) - even though Phantom Hourglass took 10 irl minutes, he counts those months towards his age - has no items from PH except for the empty hourglass - the Pirate’s Charm around his neck glows faintly in the dark. members of the Royal Family can speak through it—everyone else can only play the messages he’s recorded on it - oh yeah, he can record and play audio messages on it (Dialogue Sample): “how dare you! that’s the same as just giving up!“ (Outfit Description): friendship bracelet Aryll made (a set of 4 for her, Tetra, Wind, and Grandma); bracelet of grass he learned how to weave in the Ocean King’s world; custom made coat a 13th b-day present from Tetra (he’ll grow into it); socks were a gift from Aryll

ALTAIR [SkSw] 22 yo (he/him) Nicknamed himself for his Loftwing, who he named after the brightest start in Aquila, the eagle constellation - ADHD (inattentive) - has prophetic dreams - Team mom energy - usually tries to avoid combat—focus on support/defense (clarification: unless he deems it appropriate to draw his sword, in which case, Oh No) - may or may not be the King of Hyrule - he is trying to be very diplomatic—likes to talk things out - loves talking about everyone’s feelings but his own - he’s the kind of person you grow really close to really fast and tell everything to and then realize several months in that you know NOTHING about him - kind of under a lot of pressure—acts like it doesn’t affect him so people still feel comfortable coming to him for help - he’s nominally in charge cuz Hylia sent him to grab the others but he honestly doesn’t care—it’s all Laissez-faire - unless you make him angry - it’s very hard to make him angry - but when he is, he’s like a completely different person—grows completely silent and becomes brutally efficient - his left eye’s been purple ever since Demise—don’t worry, it’s totally fine and normal for it to be doing that.

NIGHT [TP] 23 yo (she/her) Nicknamed herself night because night is what comes after the twilight and she felt really lost after the events of TP - just kind of a girl dw about it - what happened to her leg? well she HAD it when she fought Ganondorf... idk where it went~ she’s got her knee but nothing below that - she got that canon repair guy to make her a new leg - it has a gun in it. it shoots explosive rounds & has 10 shots - she’s ambidextrous and decided to take full advantage of that by dual wielding blades - ever since she lost her leg, she had this awesome fighting style where she switches frequently between hylian and wolf, darting around the battlefield on 3 legs before shifting into a hylian in midair, lashing out with both blades, and landing as a wolf. she’s very good at it but after a long battle she’ll be sick for a little while from the magic. - takes on the leader role determinedly. fiercely protective - she cares so, so deeply and honestly all the time. it hurts so much but she can’t help it and doesn’t want to. she’ll keep caring even if it kills her. - has, on some level, lost hope that she’ll ever be happy. Ordon feels intensely wrong, somehow, and she doesn’t know where else to go. everywhere she goes, she feels trapped. - Midna said “see you later” and then destroyed the portal. Night doesn’t take people at their word. She won’t be vocal about it, but she won’t believe them, either. - harbors distrust towards Altair but still cares so deeply for him. fully expecting to get backstabbed and that the pain of it will kill her (clarification: this killing is metaphorical)

more art of them here!

#squido's op #loz #linking adventure #this is not gonna be a thing nope nope nope #squido writes #squido draws #legend of zelda

[stilemawillow]

Loverboy [Jotaro Kujo | Reader]

So, think I met Jotaro about… a month ago? Maybe a bit more. I’m not the bad guy by any means – there’s just followers of the cult all around. White-haired buzzcut guy spewing bullshit about revenge. I’m young and breezy, I want no trouble. I’m no part of no band – no delusions there. I just got friends, need to return favours and hooked on love. See, so that’s the key most times. But also, like, you could call it a release and a sealant at the same time.

I was five when my momma told me stories about love. She ain’t ever love my father, though. There were cigarette butts and liquor bottles all around the house. Nice little picture right there. No modern stuff. Sundresses and hats – she beat my ass when I asked what the weird balloons in my dad’s pockets were for. So, you see, love isn’t all peachy all the time. Hard to fight for it. My momma fought for it constantly. Oh, and when she lost the battle, she was beaten. But like, repeatedly. Wore sunglasses a lot. Didn’t curse, though. Bless her little soul. My father loved too much was all.

I loved a lot like him – high school came easy and popularity was a competition I didn’t bother to win. Was mine to begin with.

I have my dad’s good looks and my momma’s patience. The old man died some two years ago – his lady took off her ring way before but she’s doing good in the nursing home. So I’m what? Young, handsome, loving and just a bit weird. It makes me cool, though. How I got in with the friends I’m currently doing favours for – you could see I had a falling out with a band, then a girl slapped me, and another one, and some pink shoes were in a dumpster down the street, my car bumper wasn’t doing well, I switched locations, ain’t nobody chasing me and, well, it’s a long story.

I’ve personally got nothing against nobody. Unless they disrespect love. And I can tell you Jotaro Kujo’s big on disrespect.

Disrespect this and that and him and her and – who are you to be calling women bitches when they just want a piece? God, you gotta thank them and give them love. So our main guy had a problem, dragged his geezer along for it – if I’m not mistaken, a Frenchman, a cherry-lover and a weird shaman were involved, too. And the fucking dog – tell you the truth, dogs are no best friend, they the devil waiting for a weak spot to lunge at.

So, a merry band goes to kill a vampire with a big following. Of course some are going to get angry. I’m not one of them, I’ve only listened to stories. Here and there, and this one’s a dirtbag, that died, those were nasty, we laughed here and ran there, lots of failure and now we’re here.

I’m not a man who fails – have that as a disclaimer. So, it might be forty days since I met Jotaro now. You know, for a big as fuck disrespecter, he’s trying to be smart and, I gotta give it to him, he manages. Dreams – marine or something biology. Fine with me. Not interesting since it’s got no love inside of it but hey, perfection runs short these days. And I know from experience it’s hard being a good guy.

So, if you’ll be asking how I met Jotaro – we bumped once. Didn’t say sorry or anything. That when I knew the favour will be a breeze when it came to conscience. No guilt can torment me over a guy who don’t even say sorry when he bumps into you. Ah, but that’s not the important point. So, this job takes a bit of devotion and some inspection. I have to be careful with schedules, placements and the time of day. I also need collateral damage. I’m good at picking that shit out. Trust me on this. So I’m doing my thing, following, looking, inspecting, analysing – shouldn’t underestimate me when it comes to analysing.

I can sniff impossible love across a street. Cause some people just stink, you know? Jotaro especially. So it don’t really matter who collateral damage is. All it matters is to find somebody as stinky. And there’s this girl, man, they’ve probably talked twice or something of the sort. Share all their university classes. My momma would laugh if she knew I ever stepped foot inside a university. Back to the point. The girl stinks and Jotaro stinks. A match made in heaven. Pichit will have a fucking blast when I tell him about it later.

So, I got my collateral damage – a smarty pants with terrible hair. She’s got nice ears, though. Not big enough of a redemption but still. Nice feet, too. All I need is the placement and their university’s got this gorgeous fountain. Green stuff around, birds chirping, nice things. If they’re lucky, I’ll pin the time to two in the afternoon so they can have lots of sunlight. But that depends on circumstances, not on me.

Target – check. Collateral damage – check. Placement – check.

I need a time and that’s all up to fate but inspection lets me believe it should be coming along soon. You see, their schedules just barely brush at the fountain each Thursday. For – what? – fifty days now, I been watching the moment come closer and closer. They gotta come in contact or nothing’s gonna work out. But I said, I’m patient like my momma. And then we’ve got about a second to go and the job is done. It’s complicated shit when you’re telling it to somebody dumb. But I need lots of ingredients and, how do I dumb this down? I make prisons out of love. Here you go. Simplest description there is.

I’m hanging around on the rooftop, swinging legs and all, waiting for lunch break. I’ll probably have to hang around for another week before I can get to work but, hey, sandwiches here are pretty good. I have a perfect view of the fountain, too. I push my sunglasses and I see that big disrespecter come out of the building. It’s just the thing. He sits on the side of the fountain.

Some chick comes along begging for love and he’s being rude. And then my pretty collateral damage shows up – opposite direction, heading for him. Not for him, though. I know she sits on the other side of the fountain. But if there’s contact, there’s a miracle. I’m hanging off the edge of my seat. Literally. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up repaying favours from the clouds.

“You, bitch, come over here.” Or so I can picture him saying it. His hand waves. The chick next to him is smiling – wait, shit, there’s a spot on my sunglasses. No, no, she’s frowning. My collateral damage stops in front of them. I lean down further and stick out my tongue in concentration. You know, the worst part is not hearing shit when you gotta keep a distance. Something splatters on my shoulder. Man, this is a brand new suit. Fuck that bird. Oh, this stinks. And while I’m wiping at my suit with my glove – remind me to throw it away immediately after – there’s a giant as fuck splash down by the fountain.

Correction, in the fountain. I nearly gape when I look. Shit, fuck, this is perfect. Golden opportunity if I’ve ever seen one. My collateral damage’s in the fountain, soaked from head to toe. Jotaro probably pushed her. Perfect, perfect, perfect. Oh, this is spicy. She slaps his hand away when he reaches out for some reason. Dude, why you gotta make it worse on the girl you pushed? But this is my moment of contact. And here goes the job.

You gotta meet my buddy – Loverboy. Real cute guy. So I snap my fingers and he snaps his and it’s done. Well, not that quickly, but when we’re out of the loop, it will be. And I’ll still have to wash the freaking suit the bird shat on. Pichit will be paying for it. Now, honestly, all I gotta do is sit and watch the show. Do hope they make it interesting for me.

“What’s going on?” Big wide eyes and clothes sticking to a shivering body.

“Hold still.” A commanding voice. She’s standing in the fountain and she can feel the water creating nasty friction between her socks and her toes. He’s looking around. He’s got the same mean look he does every day. It’s pissing her off because, all of a sudden, everybody’s gone and he’s telling her to hold still like it’ll make people reappear.

“Don’t tell me to sit still, Kujo. This is weird. I need to try to find somebody.” She crosses her arms and his eyes strike her, glaring sternly even when he’s the one sitting down.

“I told you not to move.” He tries to reach for her but she huffs and turns around, crossing the fountain and making water pour on the ground when she steps out and shakes her head before heading for the building.

He glares at her back and cautiously rises from his seat. This is a Stand at work. But whose? He needs to figure out the ability and the range. There’s nobody around when he was surrounded by people a second ago. And why is (Y/N) the only one with him? It has something to do with the ability, he’s sure of it. Either that or she’s the Stand user. A scream echoes and he whips his head in its direction. He sees brain particles splattered on the door frame as it crushes her.

Just let me make a small disclaimer again. I can’t laugh in situations like this because I’ll be found quickly. But, man, seeing Jotaro the disrespecter’s shock when the door takes out my collateral damage – precious. Beyond precious.

And trust me, I don’t like squashing pretty ladies. But this one’s in for a lot of squashing and impaling and whatever else I can think of. Because, you know, I gotta make things plausible. Not just dangerous. And with how little chemistry there’s here, one or the other is sure to walk away from the safe starting point I picked out. I just have to wait for it and bam. But also, I didn’t actually think the door would work. If it hadn’t, I would’ve probably resorted to a bit of legwork. And I always have to kickstart shit because it’s not fun if I just leave them be. We all need a shock factor. Anyway.

First try. First fail. I think I’m aiming for twenty or so. Sounds plausible. Jotaro’s strong and he’s seen some shit so he’ll beat the average ten. But what’s twenty battles when you’re losing the war? Yeah, exactly – nothing. Oh, this will be quick, easy and fun. I love when things are quick, easy and fun.

The same vacant yard. The same building. The doors are intact. Jotaro’s back to sitting down. His eyes widen and he glances at the fountain. She’s there and she makes no attempt to stand up. Wet from head to toe, staring ahead. She can’t see anything.

“Stand still now,” he commands immediately, reaching out a protective hand to prevent any movement in case she tries to be reckless again. This is without a doubt a Stand’s ability. But it doesn’t give him any hints as to the range and the essence of it. It gives him nothing besides the fact they shouldn’t go into the building. It would be safest not to move at all. 

“I died.” Her voice quivers and her shoulders are shaken by violent tremors when he looks down at her. “It was real,” she whispers blankly, eyes wide with horror. His lips purse. He can’t make sense of this just yet but he knows now at least she’s not the Stand user. In that case, he has to protect her. He tells her she’s fine and she registers his presence. “You’re not the one who felt it! Kujo, I fucking died! It--- my fucking arm and my head---“ But she’s frantic and he has to lean over to grasp her shoulder.

“Quiet. I’ll get us out.” He lets it slip and she immediately asks if he knows what’s going on. “No. Not yet.” His eyes are scanning the space. The building seems empty. There’s no place around the yard that can hide a person and a Stand. It could be a long-range. She’s asking him what he knows. He keeps quiet. Approaching the building is dangerous. The opposite direction could be safe. He’ll have to test it. What’s the essence of this ability? Encapsulation, isolation – but a normal human is here, too. He hasn’t encountered such ability before. She’s saying he has to tell her because she died back there. He sighs. “This is the work of a Stand user. Our circumstances are the ability of the Stand.”

“And a Stand is?” She’s staring at him doubtfully while he explains a Stand is the manifestation of the owner’s soul and nobody knows exactly where they originate from. “So… a manifestation of somebody’s soul wiped everybody out and killed me?” She seems more and more dumbstruck by the second. She tries to scoot closer to his edge of the fountain.

“I don’t think everybody’s wiped out.” It would be impossible. A Stand cannot have such instantaneously giant destructive power and wield manipulation of space at the same time. If it did and he was the target, he would’ve died, too. She says that they’ve been wiped out and he shakes his head. “We could’ve been transported.” It’s the most plausible conclusion taking into account everything else.

“What, like an isolated case?” She’s staring up at him while he tries to surmise their surroundings again. Everything is faithful to reality but there are no other life forms besides them two. No birds when there were birds. No insects as far as he can see. It’s a mental trick.

“It’s the only thing I can think of which would allow for a restart the moment you died.” Because bending reality and time like that was impossible even for The World. It could freeze time for seconds but it couldn’t warp the physical world at will. Even Jotaro can’t. And when she asks if this is a mental or physical space because dying felt pretty real to her, he snorts. “It’s a mental space, no doubt. Now I just need to find the Stand user.”

“But if it’s a mental space, he won’t be here,” she argues instantly. His eyes narrow at her face – there’s water trickling down it. He knows she’s smart. He knows she’s quick to soak up information – quicker than him. He likes that about her. She might even prove to not be a nuisance while he’s trying to figure this out.

“So I have to gauge the ability more. If he’s here, I’ll find him. If he’s not, I’ll have to find a way out. He’s affecting the space around us so it’s a relatively long-range Stand. Which means it might be useless in close combat. When we find him, we’re out.” Jotaro stands up and spins in order to inspect the yard from all directions. They shouldn’t near the doors but can they go and check out the opposite side? And where would a Stand hide in here?

“You’re speaking from experience,” she observes solemnly. He spares her one look and doesn’t say anything. This requires more logic than it does strength. “What? So all of this is actually true and I’m supposed to believe it?” She’s just a bit outraged. He makes a step towards the fence on the left.

“Whichever you choose, don’t move.” The order is flat and harsh, and she sits in the fountain, crossed arms and a glare aimed at his back.

“You say, while you’re moving. What are you doing?” He nears the fence and tries to estimate whether movement in any direction signifies danger.

He’s about to look up when he can hear something moving down by his feet. The stone moves quickly but Star Platinum emerges just in time and grabs it as it's about to smash into Jotaro’s face. (Y/N)’s eyes widen at the happening. She can’t see anything but the rock hanging in the air next to Jotaro’s head. It happens way too quickly. Star Platinum is busy when the fence bends and pierces his chest. The pain is so indescribably familiar and he hates it. The sensation of dying isn’t so palpable.

“Seriously? You told me to sit still while you went ahead and died?” Her voice is loud and reproachful and he’s back at the fountain, sitting on the cold stone side while she’s inside, wet from head to toe and scowling at him.

“It wasn’t my intention.” But this proves it doesn’t matter who dies for the setting to restart. It also means the death isn’t truly real – if it was, the job would be done since he’s the target. There’s more to this ability. And surely, there’s a door of opportunity for them to leave its influence.

“Let’s just sit still and talk this time, okay?” She sits with her legs crisscrossed in the fountain and scoots closer. “Who is doing this to us? Not in the sense of a Stand user because I’ll just have to accept that part. I mean, who wants to kill us?” He sighs and says he’s the target since this is a Stand user. “You have how many enemies?” She quirks a brow and he looks at the way she wipes the water off her face. The sunlight makes each drop glimmer.

“I thought none,” he says with an averted gaze. She huffs and gets to clearing the wet hair from her forehead. He glances once and regrets it. Her neck is bare and while she’s flipping the hair behind her shoulders, he sees the way her shirt sticks to her chest.

“So we can’t figure out the person’s identity based on who you’ve spited,” she concludes slowly. “If you’re the target, why am I here?” He instantly dismisses that as unimportant. She gives a firm look. “I think it’s not. Now, I feel like you’re speaking Italian when you’re talking about Stands but they’ve got abilities. This particular one needs me here to be activated. So, is it a random pick or an ingredient?” He hasn’t thought about it but it’s more important to find the Stand user and beat his teeth out.

“I can’t say.” It’s a random pick at best in his opinion. He can’t be concerned with why it’s exactly her. But maybe he won’t be able to beat the Stand user seeing as this is a case of mental isolation. Could be a hallucination, an inner world, a visual trick or a way to manipulate and combine consciousness.

“We have to inspect that. Maybe it’s the way to getting out,” she insists on pursuing what for him is a dead end and he snorts at her adamancy.

“First, there’s no ‘we’ here. Second, all I need to do is find the Stand. Somebody is controlling our surroundings and if they’re confined in a mental space, the Stand has to be here to observe and monitor it.” In the least, the Stand would be present. The user can’t chart out a predictable script for their behavioural changes – he has to monitor and adjust his tactics according to their actions.

“And how do you plan on finding the Stand when we can’t move from the fountain?” She argues with a challenging look, making him glare. “I think my approach is better for our circumstances.” So she crawls out of the fountain carefully and sits next to him, glancing down at his backpack. “Can I use your notebook?” He sighs and waves a hand to convey that she can do whatever she wants. He turns to observe the fence that impaled him. Like the door, it wasn’t plausible for it to move in the way it did. Next to him, the girl chuckles. “This is cute, Kujo. It looks a bit like me.”

“It’s not you.” His head whips so he can observe what she’s talking about. Her fingers are leaving wet prints on his notebook and the page in the back is home to a sketch. He was bored and she was just two rows away. She was also the best subject. Her hair was nice that day. And she always seems to be immersed in classes she enjoys – her expression is very specific then. And pretty.

“It has my signature bun. And those right here are my favourite earrings,” she points out with a smug smile. His jaw clenches and he turns away from the drawing. “You had to look a lot to get the details. But my elbow’s a bit off. You weren’t listening in Anatomy class.” She’s mocking him and her elbow is nudging his arm. He purposefully moves further away and glares at the building to his left.

“Just shut up, (L/N).” But he can feel heat creeping up his neck and crawling into his face. His teeth are gritted. So what if he drew her that one time? It was a mistake anyway. Like when he stares at her. Or asks for her notes. She asks for his, too. They’ve had lunch together a few times. And just before the fucking Stand attacked, he might’ve been on his way to help her out of the fountain after the other girl pushed her and suggested that she wear his jacket.

“Are you embarrassed, Kujo?” She drawls with a smirk and water is dripping from the ends of her hair onto the notebook. She flips to another page so as to not ruin the sketch. “I’d show you how I made a cursive of your name when I was bored in Zoology but it’s drenched.” The offer makes him huff. His eyes are still on the university building on his left. She reaches into his backpack for a pen. “What if this is the link? I mean, us.” He’s about to call it ridiculous when he hears her breath hitch. She’s toppling over and he just barely catches her.

The fucking pen is jabbed into her throat.

She’s choking on the blood and there’s a gurgling sound just barely leaving her lips. His heart freezes at the sight. Her eyes are staring at him pleadingly. He swears he’s never felt this helpless. But also, this death is not real. It’s not real. The pain is hot and terrible but it’s not real. Three blinks later, she tries to say something. Doesn’t manage. And then she’s back in the fountain and the water isn’t turning pink because her blood’s dripping into it.

He lets out a ragged breath and reaches for her. Her eyes are wide, brows pinched together and she grabs his hand with no hesitation, clinging to it like her life depends on it. The shock will become too much for her at some point. He has to get them out before that. He pulls her closer, and slowly coaxes her out of the fountain and next to him. Water’s dripping from her, seeping into his clothes as he lets her cling to his arm for support and her breaths are quick and panicky.

He won’t be parting his eyes from her this time. Not for a fucking second. He’s responsible for this.

“Did you get scared, Kujo? You don’t let people touch you just like that.” She’s trying to mock him but she’s trembling and he tells her to shut up before grabbing his backpack and tossing it across the yard. Her fingers are weakly clutching his jacket. Maybe it’s about time he gave it to her because this might be a mental prison of some sort, but the sensations accompanying every action are very real. “I got scared. I couldn’t breathe. I don’t want us to be here.” Her lips are pursed and slowly pries her hands from his arm so he can take off his jacket.

“I’ll get us out.” He drapes it over her shoulders and she looks up at him, asking if he’ll do it her way. His lips purse. He still sees no sense in that. “Crack the ability by discovering why you’re here?” She nods and swears there’s a connection before asking if Stand abilities have ultimatums. He shakes his head. “They’re usually fit for combat. I haven’t seen such a Stand before,” he concedes with a lowered head. She scoots closer.

“And if there’s a way to get out without fighting it? It could be why I’m here.” He quirks a brow at the inquiry. Getting out without a fight seems too optimistic. And this isn’t supposed to be a puzzle.

“For conditions to be met?” She nods and her hair is wet. She tugs the jacket’s collar so it envelops her back better. It’s too big for her. She’s still shivering when, a minute of silence later, she asks if he has a Stand. “His name’s Star Platinum.” There’s a chance they won’t remember this after they get out.

“And you’ve fought Stands before?” She looks up at him. Her eyes are big and they twinkle in the sunlight. His lips purse as he remembers Egypt.

“I’ve killed their users, too. When a Stand dies, so does the user.” She doesn’t nod but he sees the fleeting shadow of horror on her face. He doesn’t want to scare her but she’s the one asking the questions. Of course, he can choose not to answer them. He doesn’t know why her presence predisposes him to honesty. He’s talkative around her. It’s weird.

“But if this Stand user’s goal is to kill you, he should’ve managed when… you know.” Her brows furrow and she puts a hand to her chin. The jacket slips off her shoulder. He reaches over and adjusts it. “And if the point of this is to restart when either of us dies, its goal lies in another course of action altogether. And maybe that’s why I’m here as an ingredient.” Her theory is as adamant as she is. But if her speculation is true, that means he either has to find the Stand or figure out the conditions he has to meet to get them out.

“What’s the course of action we need to take then?” He knows she’s smart. He respects her because she’s smart. She knows when to talk and when to think. Knows when to act and when to observe. Her intelligence has fascinated him since long before. But she only shakes her head now and says she hasn’t gotten that far. Silence settles again. He thinks about the conditions and the position of the Stand. He thinks about how he can move and act without leaving her alone or putting her in danger.

“Why have you fought Stands before?” She’s curious and he says it’s a long story. Quietly, he admits his mother was in danger. “How long ago was that?” She’s looking up at him and he snorts. He doesn’t like to think about it. When he thinks about it, he remembers Kakyoin. They could’ve studied here together.

“Three years.” And he got over it and kept going but he has so many nightmares it’s unbearable sometimes. He sees the pity slowly crawl over (Y/N)’s features. It makes her nose scrunch a bit at the bridge. Two wrinkles. They’re three when she’s disgusted. And two between the brows when she’s concentrating in class. “Why did you ask for my notes in our first year?” He doesn’t know why he asks it. She snorts and smiles.

“You were so antisocial I wanted to be your friend. You also seemed grumpy all the time. I didn’t actually need them but they were nice. You’re really diligent, Kujo.” The compliment makes him click his tongue before he says that’s not enough to cover up the fact she just called him antisocial. And the pity if there again for a second. “I get it now. So why did you give me your notes?” She asks in return and he rolls his eyes.

“Because I’m not a jerk.” She keeps staring like there’s another reason. He remembers it like it was yesterday – she stopped him after class and roped him into a roundabout introduction before begging for his notes. And he caught her lying because he learned later that the corner of her mouth twitches when she lies. She lied that she didn’t know his name. “Your smile was nice.” He can’t believe the nonsense he’s spilling but she only chuckles.

“Not anymore?” He doesn’t say anything when she teases him but he can deny it. Her smile is still very pretty. “You know, Kujo, that time you asked my favourite colour.” They were having lunch. She asked his. And then she lied that she didn’t know her own but he didn’t press. Now her smile didn’t twitch. “It’s actually your eyes. If it weren’t for the muscles and the dark and mysterious aura, you’d have fangirls because of them.” He scowled at the mention of fangirls and she snickered. “What? You don’t enjoy your fangirls?”

“No.” He hates them, in fact. Because he’s here to study, not to be surrounded by hordes of obnoxious girls. She is the only girl whose presence he can tolerate. It might have something to do with the smile.

“And if I was a fangirl? You’d be insulting me.” But he immediately says she’s not, to which she nudges him with her elbow. “True. My approach is way calmer. And better. Staying quietly in the periphery actually brings me a lot closer.” In order to prove it, she scoots closer. Her shoulder presses against his arm and he decides to leave it be. Then she jumps up. “Wait for a second, that’s it!”

“Stay down.” He grabs her wrist and tries to pull her down but she fights and turns to face him. She’s standing in front of him and their heights are levelled like this. He can see her eyes flicker excitedly as she tugs – not to free her wrist from his hold but to drag him along.

“No, it’s fine. We need to go. Inside, right now.” He says her name when she attempts to rush off towards the building and his fingers clutch her wrist harder. He can’t let her be harmed again. “Hear me out, Kujo. You said the Stand at least has to be here to monitor us, right?” She talks the same way when she’s cracked the code to a nasty question they’ve been asked in class. “And we don’t get harmed unless we step away from the fountain or come in contact with anything that can be used as a weapon. This means the Stand is watching us from the periphery – from a place that lets it analyse which objects it can use on us. I doubt it can see through walls.”

“So the building is a safe place,” he finishes her thought and she grins.

“Exactly. And it kept me from going inside the first time because the door was all it could see.” It sounds logical. It sounds too logical and it also sounds like a weakness they can use to their advantage. He can’t leave her alone so he’ll take her along. He stands and her wrist wriggles in his hold. He lets go and follows her towards the entrance. What’s the only place that allows a perfect view of the fountain?

“It’s on the roof.” His eyes dart upwards. They’re closing in on the door when he sees the railing on the steps leading to the entrance rip itself from the concrete and bend in her direction. He acts quickly but not wisely. He pushes her out of the way but he’s the one who suffers for it. A scream gets stuck at the back of her throat. The door comes undone and pierces him.

So, I gotta tell you that love is all about sacrifice. That happening down there is no sacrifice to me. I mean, love is about sacrificing others, not yourself. Love is about power, too. My old man liked to sacrifice others and my momma was powerful – they had love right there, somewhere between the bottles and the weird balloons. Whatever happens, Jotaro the disrespecter can’t love. Not really. Maybe his own mom, sure, but like – a piece of work like the collateral damage? Yeah, no way. I’m confident about that. Like I’m confident about a lot of other stuff.

Like when Pichit was about to break his leg on the rollercoaster or when Don lost his shoes and I told him the racoon got them. They don’t believe shit, those friends of mine. But it’s fine because we have our bromance and sometimes, we trust each other. Like they trust me with this favour and I trust they’ll wash my suit after it’s done. Loverboy, I gotta tell you, has real good eyes. Like an eagle. And sure, he needs a spot to watch from but I always pick a good spot for him. He’s my best friend because, you know, he’s me in a way. We both got good style. We love a lot and we hate people who can’t love. Strongest bond ever.

I think I got him when I was sixteen or something of the sort. Could’ve been seventeen. But he was no scary thing to me. Actually, he was my buddy right off the bat. Took me a while to figure out what he does but, hey, every friendship needs time to blossom. Kind of like when you’re getting to know a girl and she can make a cartwheel but she also wears flip-flops often. You gotta measure the sacrifice. Do I love the cartwheel or hate the flip-flops? But Loverboy and I got no such problems. We’re a good team and we’re strong in our own way. My momma used to say a friend’s there for you through thick and thin. No kidding. And that---

Ah, shit. Why do I have to waste so much time preventing stuff? I don’t fail so we got that. But seriously – why’s she protecting Jotaro now? Welp, here goes the sharp fence. I didn’t pick the fountain as a starting point for nothing. I can do this all day and they can’t stop it. Can’t figure it out anyway. What, like they’re geniuses? And I’m told Jotaro likes to work alone so there ain’t no chance in hell he’s going to warm up to teamwork, much less feelings besides frustration and helplessness when he’s in danger. He don’t give half a fuck for my collateral damage, dragging her along or not. If he leaves her alone, I shoot my shot. I don’t miss so that’s that.

Oh, how cute, he’s giving her his jacket. If it was me, I would’ve straight-up told her to take off her clothes. But the disrespecter’s not experienced or interested enough in true love tactics. Which proves to me I’ll be out of here and on my way in about… a second. It’s always a second anyway. Less sometimes. I’m good at mind games and not so much at calculation. But this don’t take no calculation. It takes patience. I got more of that than them. More love, too. Oh, here goes again. Let’s do the window this time. Haha. Quick, easy and fun. I’m having so much fun. What’s that? Oh. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

They’re inside. Shit. I won’t be telling Pichit this part. If he asks, they never got away from the fountain. If you try to tell, well, who’s he gonna believe? You or me? Yeah, I thought so, too. Now I need to do some legwork. If you’ll excuse me.

“I think we’ll be fine here for a while.” He watches her slump against the whiteboard in the classroom on the second floor with a sigh. Water is dripping from her clothes and she grabs a marker from the professor’s desk. “Let’s get down to thinking. This is either a time capsule, an isolated loop or whatever. And we’re here. What do we have in common?” She’s writing on the whiteboard and he’s leaning against the first row where she usually sits.

“Our major,” he joins in the speculations reluctantly, making her shake her head. She writes down their names next to each other and hums.

“I’m thinking more character-wise. It’s a bit like a grumpy-sunshine trope.” He clearly doesn’t understand it and she clearly doesn’t want to explain. She draws a small raincloud next to his name and a small sun next to her own. He scoffs. “So, we’re opposites more often than not. We interact often. But why today?” He instantly says they can’t be sure whether the Stand user chose today purposefully or just activated his Stand the moment he got here. “The fountain’s a good spot he shouldn’t have known about, though. Visitors aren’t allowed on campus so he’s either sneaked in or is part of the student body.” For some reason, Jotaro doubts the latter. He would notice a Stand user in the student body.

“You’re saying he’s inspected the place?” He asks with a frown and she points out the fountain is a perfect starting point that can be guarded at all times from the roof. He admits it is. This has taken some research at least. The Stand user would have to familiarise himself with the place. Which means Jotaro has gotten too rusty from living normally to notice his presence.

“Again.” She taps the marker against their names and draws his attention back to the board. “We’re opposites. What do we make of that?” He makes nothing of it because the Stand user’s goal is to get rid of him. By all means, it’s the only thing he can aim to achieve.

“Nothing. It’s a useless train of thought.” Jotaro snorts in a gruff voice and she tucks her wet hair behind her ear and frowns in disagreement.

“And I think it’s useful.” The moment she argues is the moment a stiff realisation crosses her features. It’s a fleeting instant and then the words drop from her mouth. “Opposites attract.” Jotaro knows that’s the law of magnets. So what of it in this case? She grows frantic the more she explains: “If this is about opposite-sex isolation, it could’ve been any fangirl of yours. You even had one close by. The difference is… you don’t like them.” She’s written down their sex and squints at the board before looking at him. “Have you heard about the experiments where they put a man and a woman in a dangerous simulation and observe the spike of their behavioural changes?”

“No, and I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything.” He truly doesn’t. She can’t just weave a Stand ability out of thin air and unsupported speculations. Abilities in Stands are fit for battle, too – not social experiments. They usually differ according to their owner’s character, temperament and ideology but the main rule stands – they’re meant for combat.

“Could be nothing or everything. This Stand’s ability reminds me a lot of that. A man and a woman are in an isolated space with their adrenaline constantly being stimulated. In situations like these, the couple tends to bond way quicker.” She’s blabbering and he crosses his arms, watching her sceptically.

“You’re not saying this Stand is based on a social experiment meant to simulate love.” It’s audible how much he truly doesn’t believe in her theory.

“Stimulate, not just simulate,” she corrects with a huff. “Pairs who underwent the experiment had a spike in compatibility and are often recorded as dating in the aftermath even when they went into it as strangers.” He can feel she’s lost the point of this. They’re talking about experiments that have nothing to do with their predicament and the Stand is probably looking for them. The building has five floors. How long would it take for it to catch up to their location? Jotaro suspects another five minutes at best. Two if she keeps being this loud.

“So the point is to fall in love and we’ll get out of here.” He glares when she smiles in approval. “Can you hear how ridiculous that sounds? And even if it’s true, how would the Stand user know how we interact? And wouldn’t he rather put me in with somebody I hated and had no chance at all of becoming fond of?” He might’ve accidentally indicated he prefers her to any other girl he could’ve ended up with but she goes along with it, like she hasn’t considered anything else.

“Think about it, though. That might’ve been his exact thought. He won’t put you with any of your fangirls because they like you already and they show it a lot. Maybe he doesn’t know you so he’s just watched you and based on observation – I’m the only girl who appears to be disinterested.” She indirectly hints at something, too. He’s not dumb enough to miss it.

“Appears?” He echoes and the pointed intonation makes her lips purse as she considers what to say. She puts the market back on the professor’s desk and looks into his eyes. The green mingles with a bright baby blue and creates the perfect turquoise shade. She gulps.

“Sure. If he’s had a limited observational period – two weeks or something to pick me out, he would’ve seen that we barely talk and I don’t swoon when I see you.” And Jotaro instantly defends that it’s exam season and they’re busy, which just makes her nod along. “Exactly. He might not know that. It might just be a miscalculation on his end. This is good.” She seems almost excited to announce it. He huffs and pushes himself off the desk. He thinks he can hear something.

“You’re trying to convince me the point of this loop is to fall in love. It’s ridiculous,” he states once he’s positioned right across the door. He’s standing between it and her while she asks what else he can think of. The answer’s immediate: “That we’ve given the Stand enough time to sniff us out.” And when he puts a protective hand to tell her to stand back, her eyes widen. Maybe she can hear the steps, too.

“I love you.” But his eyes are pinned to the door and she’s tugging on his jacket. “Say it back.” Her fingers tremble and her voice wavers. He won’t be saying it because even if that’s the point, nothing will happen if it’s just words prompted by survival instincts. Then both of them can hear the windows behind her vibrate.

He turns around and cradles her head to his chest just as the glass explodes. She screams. Such a fucking cowardly Stand – can’t even use its own strength to overpower him. Glass shards are piercing his face. Blood drips on her hair. He has to lure him out and fight him. Star Platinum is on edge, waiting for guidance.

“Just say it!”

But he doesn’t have the time to part his lips when the door slams open. His vision is impaired – one of his eyes is positively blind and the other is full of blood. He feels her wrestle out of his hold and she can’t see Star Platinum but she stands in the way. It’s then he realises it might not be wise to let his Stand be harmed. But he doesn’t want her to be harmed either. He blindly reaches for her in an attempt to tug her back. Her arm’s in his hold and it’s too late. Through a red veil, he can see the blurry shape of a tall pink figure with flaming hair. And when her body falls back in his arms, the hole in her chest is visible. His heart flinches inside his chest. Star Platinum’s unharmed.

And then they're back at the fountain. In an instant, he turns around and his feet splash inside the water, glued to the stone under as his arms extend to he can hold her shoulders. Same exact time, she’s crawling closer to the edge with her fingers hastily reaching for his face. Horror is coursing through their veins and they think one and the same thing when their eyes meet: You’re fine. The relief is grand and visible, almost tangible in the air. No words are spoken as he draws her closer and she complies until she’s on her knees and her arms just barely envelop his back, fingers desperately clutching his jacket. His digits tangle in her hair. His free hand is splayed over her back, between the shoulder blades where the hole was.

“You were scared,” she mocks in a weak voice, face buried in his chest as he exhales, nose burrowed in her wet hair.

“Shut up.” The command makes her chuckle. He was scared shitless. He’s angry, too. Then she parts from him and her hands are damp as they cup his jaw. She slowly rises to her feet and he looks up. Her thumbs rub against his skin and when their eyes meet, there’s the rage of a thousand suns in her hues. He likes the sight of it. He hasn’t seen this side of her before.

“Let’s smash this guy’s face in.” She sounds deadly serious and he agrees. His fingers slowly wrap around her wrists and he stands up, head slowly turning towards the roof. Now they know where the Stand is. He’ll take her along and Star Platinum will be her bodyguard in case the fucking coward tries to pull another trick. If this is a mental space, Jotaro might be allowed the pleasure of beating up the Stand on his own.

When they step out of the fountain and kick their backpacks in the opposite direction, the fence acts up. It bends and its foundations tear the ground apart in their attempt to shoot in their direction. The attack is spoiled when Star Platinum prevents contact. And (Y/N) gapes at the fence suspended in the air, then he nudges Jotaro’s side and hums.

“I’m assuming I can’t see your Stand but is he, like, strong enough to rip out one of the sharp edges from the fence for me?” And before Jotaro can tell her that’s unneeded, Star Platinum does exactly as he’s told. She blinks at the fence that seems to be breaking on its own. Jotaro glares at his Stand. “I just think I need a way to defend myself. I took one year of fencing in high school.” And the rest of the fence drops to the ground but one metal rod with a sharp tip hangs in the air in front of her. She takes it from Star Platinum with her smile blindly aimed up. “Thank you very much, Star. He can hear me, right?” She glances at Jotaro, who only scowls.

“Right. And he’s being way too complaisant.” She chuckles at the sour note in his voice.

“You are, technically. A manifestation of your soul and will, if I remember correctly.” Her smile is bright and teasing, and he snorts.

When they head towards the door, a few stones try to create trouble. They evade the railing with no casualties and Star Platinum wrecks the door before it can collapse. Once they’re inside, the danger is gone. Jotaro’s walking ahead and she’s in the middle with Star Platinum behind her.

When they get to the stairs leading to the rooftop, the group stops and exchanges looks. They’re quietly ascending the stairs, Jotaro’s the one who breaks the lock on the door to the roof and (Y/N) clutches her weapon a bit tighter. He’ll make sure she doesn’t need to use it. When he slams the door open, the Stand is caught off guard. Instead of fighting, it adheres to its cowardly ways. Only Jotaro can see it.

He gives chase and she’s behind him, following even when she can’t see their target. The Stand is cornered easily and, what’s more, when it tries to use its ability to make a random inanimate object attack them, both attempts are foiled. It’s probably weird for (Y/N) to sit still, unaware that Star Platinum is beating up the other Stand while Jotaro observes.

One of the punches seems to hit the switch.

God, this hurts. My momma didn’t teach me enough to deal with pain. And what’s this unfairness? The bad guy isn’t supposed to win. I’m not supposed to fail. I can’t fail. This favour’s supposed to be quick, easy and fun. I love it when things are quick, easy and fun. My jaw might be broken. And my ribs. I can barely move. Fuck, I have to get out of here. I have to get out of here. This wasn’t planned. This can’t be happening. The bad guy can’t win.

And what if I was told not to underestimate him? I didn’t. It was all perfect. So why was he working with my pretty collateral damage? He’s not supposed to work in a team. They’re not supposed to get out before they off themselves. Fuck. I have to run. I have to run far and Pichit has to wash my suit and pay for the goddamn hospital bill. I ain’t taking any jobs after this. I don’t care about the followers or the favours. Fuck my friends, they didn’t even warn me this could happen.

Ah, I just want to go back to my flat with Loverboy and order take-out. I want shiitake mushrooms and shrimp. My momma used to make them tasty. Fuck.

Everything is loud and bright. Birds are chirping and a fly is buzzing by the top of the fountain. The noises are everywhere – so many people talking at once it’s almost deafening at first. Jotaro is blinking at the water splashing around inside the fountain. There seems to be a small rainbow where the sun hits the miniature drizzle just right. (Y/N) is inside, wet from head to toe and staring up at him with parted lips and wondrous eyes.

Both of them are overwhelmed by the noise and the colours and the people. Some are having lunch, others are talking in small groups, walking around, crossing the yard, standing still, laughing, joking, and complaining. Voices and people everywhere. Even the girl who pushed (Y/N) into the fountain is still at Jotaro’s side, looking down at them with a scowl.

Everything went back to the instant they were transported by the Stand’s ability.

Jotaro gets the very intense urge to get in the fountain and hug her. She, in turn, is struggling with her own wish to jump and tackle him to the ground in front of everybody. Instead, she grins up at him and he offers her a hand. This time, she takes it. His fangirl doesn’t enjoy the sight. He couldn’t care less but she obviously has a vengeful side to her because once she’s standing to her feet, at least three people are looking at her wet form and Jotaro helps her jump out of the fountain, she slowly lets go of his hand and aims a big smile at the fangirl.

“Thank you for this, Hori. I’m indebted to you and I like how my hair looks when it’s wet. I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow, okay?” The girl blinks at her, utterly stupefied and just a bit disturbed. (Y/N) turns to Jotaro and smiles at him, too. “Now, should we go?” He sighs and they hold onto their backpacks while rounding the fountain. Jotaro knows they’re heading to the rooftop.

“You didn’t make a scene,” he remarks on their way into the building. She’s just a bit wary of the door. Her shoes squeak down the hallway and people are staring at her weirdly. She’s not used to it because she forgets her appearance is supposed to inspire confusion.

“You’re taking me out on a date later, Kujo. She deserves gratitude.” The quip makes the dark-haired male glance down at her doubtfully. He has to admit maybe he doesn’t mind the idea of taking her out on a date. Most of all when it would’ve taken him way longer to get out if he’d been on his own. Still, he’s just a bit surprised at how well she’s taking this – mostly the aftermath that might’ve left her scarred. He hands her his jacket and she drapes it over her shoulders. “Thanks. How about you don’t kill the guy? I want to ask him about my theory.”

“You look quite unaffected by the experience, (L/N).” The remark makes her lips purse. Even if the death wasn’t real, the sensations were quite on point. He glimpses momentary discomfort on her face before she lets out an airy chuckle.

“I think we’re close enough to use first names at this point. And also, I might be a bit more adaptable than I thought.” In spite of that, Jotaro stays mad at the stupid fuck who intervened in their normal lives. She would’ve been better off not living this. They’re climbing the stairs and the lock on the rooftop door is already broken when they arrive. Jotaro opens the door and expects a fearsome enemy’s attack. He’s not prepared for the disfigured bleeding mess on the floor. Next to him, (Y/N)’s eyes widen in fright and her nose scrunches up. Three wrinkles for disgust.

“G-Get away from me!” The guy draws back in horror, splayed on the ground and trying to crawl back. He has two pink tresses in his blond hair. “F-fucking psychos! How did you---“

“Let me stop you right there,” (Y/N) says, stepping forward and glaring down at his bloody face. As far as Jotaro can see, he’s got a broken nose, a split brow and two busted teeth. His ribs are probably cracked. “We’ll walk you out of the university premises and you won’t come back ever. But before that, I want to ask you about your Stand’s ability. It’s a mental space, right?” The guy blinks at her.

“A loop, yea. B-But you’re fucking crazy and I don’t have to answer any questions.” His voice comes out wheezy and squeaky. He’s shaking in fear. Jotaro quirks a brow at his defiant behaviour and (Y/N) glances at the dark look on his face.

“I think you’ll prefer it to the other option.” She’s not smiling but her voice is upbeat and placid. “Now, since it’s a loop in a mental space, was there a way for us to get out without beating your Stand?” She isn’t nearly as disturbed by the sight of the beaten-up man. Jotaro thinks this much is enough although he wouldn’t be against some more. An additional punch or two just to be safe. The guy spits out a spiteful spoonful of blood and snorts.

“Yeah, the disrespecter here had to give up on shit a-and off himself because you’re not compatible at all and---“

“So we had to fall in love or kill ourselves?” She cuts off with wide eyes, making Jotaro’s lips purse. The guy at their feet growls in outrage and points up at the dark-haired Stand user.

“T-That’s the whole point! He can’t love shit and you’re the perfect collateral damage because you barely talk to him!” His words would have made sense if it weren’t for her theory. She’s grinning and her hands are on her hips when she tips her chin proudly and looks up at Jotaro, who only averts his gaze in spiteful defeat. He shouldn’t have let her come along. She could’ve gone through life without the knowledge she was right.

“I told you! I was right the whole time!” Her finger jabs into his biceps and she tugs on the jacket around her shoulders while clearing her throat and looking down at the guy again. He’s staring at her like she’s crazy. He probably thinks they’ll kill him or something. “I figured it out. Without the part about killing ourselves. It’s a smart move but… we actually like each other, I think.” She gestures at them and the guy’s face contorts in utter disbelief. Jotaro clicks his tongue at the pathetic sight.

“So thanks for the date.” His deep voice makes (Y/N) grin.

“Y-You weren’t supposed to… Y-You can’t possibly, I watched you! You hate everybody! A-And---“

“Let’s get you out of here, huh? You’re pretty shaken up.” She crouches in front of the guy and he doesn’t dare strike her for fear Jotaro will act faster. They force him to his feet and he’s shaking like a leaf. Jotaro’s the one who has to support him on their way down the stairs. “Do you have a car or should we call an ambulance?” But he’s nearly catatonic because of the shock and doesn’t answer. “I didn’t think you’d beat the sense out of him, Jotaro.” She shoots Jotaro a look of reproach and he huffs. 

“Let’s just walk him out and leave him outside.” Less than three minutes, they’re sneaking out of the side door leading to the parking lot. She’s wet from head to toe and they’re helping a bleeding man limp between the cars. When they reach the side entrance, Jotaro lets the Stand user slump down to the ground against the fence and glares at him. (Y/N)’s the one who crouches down, grips his nose and harshly pushes to the left. The guy screams and bites down on his tongue.

“I hope it hurt like a bitch. That’s for the long-term paranoia I’ll have around doors. And for making me see the guy I like being in pain.” Jotaro’s eyes widen at the action and her words, and then she stands to her feet, leaving the Stand user to whimper in pain while she heads back to the building. “Do you have anything to say to me about my theory?” She teases when Jotaro opens the door for her.

“It’s a bullcrap ability that wasn’t supposed to exist at all,” he states with a huff. She smiles and says it’s enough that he’s a bit spiteful in his rejection, then complains that she needs dry clothes to attend her next class. He hums and he knows it’s out of character when he suggests: “We can skip.”

“I didn’t think you were a bad boy, Jotaro.” She smirks and he clicks his tongue. “We do deserve rest after this. Might’ve been less than a second in reality but all the stress drained me. Are you hungry?” But both of them know neither had time to enjoy lunch and the experience messed with their heads in terms of orientation through time. He nods and she’s very transparent in her offer. “Come over so I can change and maybe I can cook for us.”

“Traditional?” He questions with a quirked brow and suggests omelettes and miso soup. He’s on board. And when they’re heading for the main entrance, she asks if he thinks the guy will try to attack him again. He sees the uncertainty on her face and shakes his head. “His Stand is the most cowardly thing I’ve seen. He wasn’t much better. He won’t risk it.”

“It’s weird how he accidentally picked the right people,” she muses with a hum. “He was so shocked we worked together, too. Do others think we don’t get along, too?” He thinks whoever even cares enough to be acquainted with them is pretty much aware they’re on good terms. And some – the ones she calls his fangirls – might even be suspicious regarding more. She wouldn’t be getting pushed into fountains otherwise even though Jotaro is greatly annoyed by the fact girls have turned pursuing him into a competition with him as the prize.

“Do you care about that?” He glances down at her and sees her tug his jacket and burrow her nose in the collar with a thoughtful hum. She’s cute sometimes.

“Depends. Maybe not.” So he thinks the conversation is done for the time being. Less than a minute late, she asks: “Hey, Jotaro, that one time we got to the classroom – would it have worked if you’d said it?” He knows exactly what she means and his blood runs cold in nervousness at the mention. Seeing as he refuses to answer, she nudges his arm with her elbow. He won’t say it. “Oh, come on, we survived a shitload together, you can tell me that at least.” Her eyes are twinkling up at him pleadingly.

“We’ll never know,” he concludes in a gruff voice. He’s scowling when she says she can just get the guy to activate his Stand’s ability again and have them test her theory. But there will be no need for that. “I’ll just beat him up again.” He’s glaring, tipping his hat lower, and she laughs. It’s a nice sound.

“You’re red, Jotaro.” She’s annoying. Annoyingly smart, too. His face is red, she’s smiling knowingly and she’s pretty even when she’s annoying. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. It would’ve worked.

#jotaro headcanons #maaaan jotaro kujo is a big boy #jotaro kujo x y/n #jotaro kujo x reader #reader insert #x reader #jojo x reader #jojo fanfiction #i know many don't know about my love for jojo but here it goes #wrote this in two days and am hyped to post it #even tho the storyline do be wobbly #i dreamed it btw so that's my excuse #JOTARO IS SO FUCKING UGHSSHDBHDNAKJNFS #frothing at the mouth #this man is just... perfect yes gimme #anyway 10k words for a 20-min plot #anyway enjoy? #also villain pov because i'm experimenting with unreliable narrators

[minsungderstandings]

Replying to a STAY on YouTube

(I've had to publish the YTube comment here as YTube wouldn't let me post it there because of how extensive it was xdd anyways):

Hi, firstly, I'm sorry for replying so late! I was moving into another house lmao 💀 and secondly, sorry again, because I already know my reply will be long as h3ll (because I'll give you the links but I'll also answer your reply and comment some things so that you and others can know more about MinBin and its rather different/weird fanbase, as there are many interesting things I've found out that are worth-shared!). That being said, let's begin! (Links are embeded in point number 2):

1) About them combining so well: it's not just a perception of yours, it seems to most probably be the truth (disclaimer before starting: tho that doesn't mean anything else, of course xd, and I'm not invalidating MinSung just because of MinBin getting along so well; I don't care about ships in that sense, I just adore them as, I think, both of them are probably the most wonderful bonds w/ Minho because of how well Han and Bin blend with Minho), as shown by the "♡ Kids Room" series: in Minho's episode, Changbin beat everyone, and he did so effortlessly. Every single one out of about 7 rounds. I strongly recommend everyone to watch this episode as there's a lot it can be learned from, about Minho and Changbin as a duo but, most importantly, as them as individuals. Chan only became the chosen one at the end because Minho thought it'd be funny to get rid of the one who was doing it all perfectly, just for the sake of a plot-twist. So yeah, just Minho doing Minho-ing xd Quoting: "Number 1 (Changbin), you've been alive for too long, haha bye, it's been funny!" -- Of course Minho would do something like this. However, that doesn't take away the fact that still Changbin always responded in the precise way Minho liked, plus they even thought the exact same in some cases: "Samba!! I thought of it too!" or when Minho comments "That's exactly what I thought." And just an annotation: although it could be that Minho is choosing the same person over and over again just because it'd be funny to toss that person away at the end (which would arguably be a very Minho thing to do xd), it seems rather unlikely, as he actually seems to be taking it quite seriously, as it can be seen in the way he took seriously Jeongin's response, alongside other ones: whenever he found a response he didn't like or found "illogical" to him, he didn't even hesitate to reply in a direct, sometimes slightly harsh way. So yeah, he was actually taking it quite seriously, he wasn't picking the same person over and over just to get a funny sketch out of it at the end.

This is just one of the multiple times when Changbin and Minho's personalities have shown to be patently compatible (again, that doesn't mean others aren't compatible, or that MinSung aren't compatible; quite the contrary: they are, a lot), and I could enumerate all of the things that make them so compatible, from a psychological point of view (I'll graduate from Psychology at University, so yeah, I'm studying Psychology xd I love the human mind), but this message is already way too long. I'll just comment one thing: they both LOVE having experiences, experiencing new things (which can be explained because Minho is a 6w7 and Binnie is a 7w8 if I don't remember wrong, at least according to people in PersonalityDataBase; they share the 7 urge to "experience" and "obtain"), having fun is something crucial and quintessential to them, which can be seen in the way they're always goofing around (I don't say it, the members said so in a radio show: "you two are the worst at dance practice: you're always goofing around!"). In contrast to this, for example, we have Han, who on the contrary prefers to "gather" in a much more controlled and known environment: he is always gathering information while staying at home, watching YouTube, as he's explained in many occasions.

(Again, I'm utterly sorry for posting such an immense comment, and for my English too: it's my 3rd language and I'm only 20, so I'm sorry if there are any linguistic flaws x'd. I know I shouldn't post such a long comment here on YTube, that maybe I should return to Tumblr to publish all of my essays regarding K-Pop groups and other themes, but I'm scared to de4th because people is unscrupulously diabolical, without a modicum of logic or rationality in their bodies. Freedom of speech is de4d, something intrinsic to the Cancel Culture era (I already got a bit canceled on Twt) for being too logical. I know it's nothing new, but I can't stop being disappointed. )

LINKS

2) The links! (Gosh, finally) · Here there go the links + what I've noticed about Bin's community.

If I had to start over, I'd watch them in this order, more or less:

1-2) Shunbun vid 1: https://youtu.be/W1dhR4H8-g4?si=6R0eRqYpuXcLEH8f

1-2) ELIAKAI vid 1: https://youtu.be/wgYXzVVqPh8?si=s9PI7jmg3UzVThNV

(the vid that made me discover MinBin; amazing. The most watched MinBin video in her channel for a reason). Talking about the MinBin fanbase, first of all, and let's take ELIAKAI as an example, as she's therefore the MinBin creator who made me discover it existed such thing named "MinBin" (before stumbling with one of her/his/their videos, I had never even thought Minho and Changbin could be an actual ship): it stands out how beyond artistic and "deep" most MinBin supporters are (it's nice to see how everyone is different; exmaple: imo, ChangJin fans are definitely the funniest, and sweetest, as far as I know). I think I've never seen "ship" videos with so much artistry, artistic sensitivity and deep thought, at least within the 4th Gen group fandoms. We could resume it with the word "angst" xd. It's something I can't explain here as it's already too long, but you'll probably understand it if you watch some MinBin videos. Her videos are made in a way that makes the spectator feel a kind of love that's unspoken, that not even them can individually say to themselves or to the other.

Eliakai's videos are always outstanding (not only MinBin videos), I can't begin to explain how amazing she is (and how beyond talented!). She doesn't over-analyse, she just shows what they've done and said, and lets you reach your own conclusions, while adding some story-like ambiance (which will lead immature people to take as "they're in love 100%" as they don't understand it's slowed down just for the sake of artistry). She just exposes the FACTS, without blatantly manipulating, but people can misunderstand it and take it as a proof for something else. Of course sometimes it can get too cheesy and fanciful with the slow-mo clips and all, but it's still way better than 99% of the fan-made "ship videos" out there. Her vids are a nice merge of thought, creativity, objective observation and artistry. Of course the "slow-mo" clips don't demonstrate sh!t, it's just part of the artistic ambiance. Not everything is made or added for the sake of an analysis, but toxic fans don't seem to understand it.

3) ELIAKAI vid 2: https://youtu.be/GC5nFRf5Lk?si=UUrlc6kv7JphXN-m

The 3rd vid I'd see if I had to start over. It actually causes me some pain and I have so many things to say about this video, as it's actually portraying something extremely relevant, but it'd be so long. I'll publish it on Tumblr I guess. Anyways, I just say this: let's dive into an hypothesis. What if they liked e/o? Not MinBin but any two people, in any group or any place where this kind of relationship is punished. Do fans realize that accepting your own feelings, and then also confessing and THEN starting a relationship can be extremely difficult in this world (even much more in their society)? I had, and I'm still having, such a h3ll of a time accepting I like women way more than I like men and that I'll probably marry a woman, even if my family kindly supports it and I'm in one of the most progressive countries when it comes to LGBTQ+ acceptance. Therefore, I can't even imagine how DIFFICULT it could be for any of the LGBTQ+ idols to accept themselves (I'm not saying MinBin are). It's not only that society tells you "you're sick/wrong", but YOU also think so, it's you yourself who has it the most internalized, even more than society (therefore it's definitely not surprising that most homophobes turn out to be LGBTQ+ years later). So, the fact alone of realizing you like someone you're not supposed to like can already be beyond difficult to THEM, not just to society. If that's not enough, we have a huge plus here: Minho and Changbin are the type of people who'd have EVEN MORE of a hard time accepting their feelings, as they tend to keep everything chilling, fun and lightly, on the surface, not diving deep into things that may hurt them (they've shown it in uncountable occasions). That's what I madly love about this video. The lyrics exactly depict this: "I might never be the one you take home to mother. but I can be the one tonight." -- Acknowledging you have no possible future with that other person, in this world, and therefore spending all the time you can have with that person, pretending it's not serious and you're just friends: "we're just being silly, it's not something serious, it's not that we're in love, we just want to experiment and play". You don't even confess to that person, irregardless of how sure you are that you both like e/o. You simply can't, it's bigger than you. It has happened to me with almost every female best friend I've had. I can tell you all: confessing to them is the last thing I'd do. So I somewhat imagine (just imagination, people, I'm not stating this as a fact) MinBin this way too: I imagine two friends who flirt, play with the other (as it's the only way they can interact without thinking of something serious), act like Tom&Jerry… They stay low-key, they don't wanna break their friendship by confessing to the other. They try to think of something/someone else, and they achieve it. But feelings sometimes never vanish, and there's still a remaining. And someday they'll get married, probably with a girl. They'll have kids and live a "socially-accepted" life as they, who have very much probably felt weird inside, have always unconsciously dreamt of. But whenever the group meets again, or they both meet again, there'll be some unresolved issues hovering in the air, the reminding of some unspoken tension years ago. 4-5) ELIAKAI vid 3: LeeKnow is like sea wind https://youtu.be/u2U3ElodDdo?si=BfvObWdLJ90F4hw

Okay, too much "angst" and story-like vids, I guess. Here I leave some more chill and short vids I found out:

4-5) Shunbun vid 2: https://youtu.be/Jm63wsoqS2U?si=fBM1cB6R8ZcfOXve

6) ELIAKAI vid 4: https://youtu.be/BCQi1H3ZfPM?si=eOpmTwLwwi43kLTX

7) Lavern (one of my fave SKZ content creator) also has a series of vids regarding MinBin which I think is VERY worth watching! (like all the other series of the channel)

And finally, here I leave the link to Minho's episode: Minho's "♡ Kids Room" episode: https://youtu.be/rbLMIUU0jzI?si=ZO3M95mA4VAaP0Wj

There are many more videos and, also, I recommend to watch all of Eliakai and Shunbun's videos, not only MinBin ones, as they're too talented and it's a shame there's not a lot of STAYs who support these channels. For instance, as I'm Jisung biased (maybe it was something unexpected? People must think I'm MinBin biased or Changbin biased, lol, which is understandable) I adore the video she created for Han, as it depicts why I connect so much with him (https://youtu.be/Rxm8LfXPHpg?si=z52cNdQY-SuIU63Q), or this BinSung vid: https://youtu.be/a4ZehDaeA_A?si=jsm8T-Y3dRl8gCr6. Also, I think it's quite interesting how many MinBin fans are hardcore HyunSung enjoyers too; my top 2 ships of SKZ may now be MinSung and MinBin, and then ChangJin, ChangLix, ChanLix and HyunIn, and also 2Min and BinSung, but I also find HyunSung a very interesting, wonderful and unique dynamic, considering all they went through together).

I also leave the link to the most known channel about MinBin: https://www.youtube.com/@stayminbin

Again, I'm SO SORRY for writing such an extensive comment (exactly 2320 words… gosh), but I hope it was worth it :( I will publish my MinBin essays on my Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/minsungderstandings) and on Wattpad. Things such as how Minho adapts to everyone and acts slightly different when it comes to every member (and how, surprisingly, he doesn't seem so "intimidating" and "dominant, agressive" when he's interacting with Changbin and instead he really acts soft and sweet, genuinely, organically, not pretending or trying to be this way in order to protect and show care for the other person, as I suspect he does with some members, but because he WANTS to, which surprised me A LOT).

Pease remember to not take everything I say too seriously, I don't have the absolute truth (I wish I had xd), I may be wrong about lots of things, so I don't even take it seriously myself, I'm humble in that sense xd.

Have a splendid day!! <3

#skz #stray kids #minbin #lee know #lee minho #changbin #shipping #kpop #leeknow_changbin

[aggold15hi01]

Life update-24th February 2023 (Updated and edited on 27th February 2023) [Part 2]

Author's note: This life update is entirely based on the writer's own personal point of views in life plus the views in this post here are entirely reflected based on the writer's own personal experience in real life.

Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse and depression

My personal blog: https://realpaulaleah4everwrites05.blogspot.com/

My Twitter: https://twitter.com/Goallisha

Part 1: https://aggold15hi01.tumblr.com/post/710375084394708992/life-update-24th-february-2023-updated-and-edited

Plus speaking of verbal abuse; you know I have been through an intense amount of countless emotional abuse as I didn't feel way too good about the emotional abuse that I have to very much go through in my very own life additionally I just don't feel truthfully okay at all as you know I have been through an intense amount of an endless amount of emotional abuse throughout my whole life plus at first I may not truthfully pay too much attention to the whole experience of verbal abuse at first when I was younger but now as I got authentically older; I do know that any forms of abuse does seems to be authentically/ truthfully/ truly and greatly/ intensely inexcusably dangerous/ perilous/ hazardous yet they are truthfully nasty and awful as they do felt mentally traumatizing for  anyone and yet they are authentically (And completely) unacceptable in any different types of forms to be honest FYI.

Sorry, it is just that I am feeling truthfully upset additionally it is just so hard for me to realistically be happy and upbeat yet having to be so positive all the time as already this is the personal reason why I am very seldom at Pinterest most of the time in general because of their "Toxic positivity" type of energy and this is the reason why I sometimes I don't truthfully like Pinterest at all.

Additionally let's just say that I am feeling deeply and genuinely upset at the two people who are greatly responsible for both the yelling towards me but also intensely and equally responsible for having to make a verbal threat on both taking away the technology devices that I have with me and having to smash all of it with the full-force of their energy into trillions of tiny pieces of fragments plus having to throw all of the remains of the tiny fragments into the trash plus already: I am deeply feeling traumatized by what they had spoke to me and if they did truly; I am going to cut all ties with them and having to save all of the money which means no more takeaways; no more buying books and no more living in a permanent home as I am sleeping from one place to another as a homeless person whilst having to be on the run authentically.

Also; let's just say I am feeling a lot more upset these days more so than you realistically/ actually think.

Plus if you ever do get abused in either one of the methods of the abuse; two or more; in the words of the late *Michael Jackson on one of his famous song "You are not alone": I am going to truthfully share this again just in case if you are not feeling authentically okay to be honest:

"That you are not alone:

I am here with you;

Though you're far away,

I'm here to stay:

But you are not alone,

I am here with you:

Though you're far apart,

You're always in my heart;

You are not alone"

(*Note of disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the song as I give credits to the people (including the late Michael Jackson himself) who did worked on their magic behind the scene to create this magical piece of creation whilst having to enjoy this song universally and equally.)

As you can tell; I did feel authentically sorry for the people who did have to truthfully suffer in the hands of the people who is truly and deeply responsible not only for the way that they did abuse them (Not just emotionally but in any different types of forms FYI--including both physical and ****** abuse as well.) except to also simply force them to have a relationship with them when there isn't a genuine chemistry/ attraction between the both of them/ both parties.

#My writing #my own writing #my own words #my own thoughts #my own creation #personal #personal life update #real life stuff #life update #my own post

[marvelmusingsbyhertz]

Scars, chapter 1

A/N: Yes, I’ve got WIPS. Yes, this is the BIGGEST trope in the Bucky!Universe, BUT I cannot for the life of me get this story out of my darn head. Thus I simply had to write it out.

This will be a mixture of full throttle angst, smut and fluff, so be warned.

If you want to be added to the taglist, pelase let me know! Remember that feedback feeds the soul, and I love, love, loooooove to see how you guys feel about my writing.

Also, quick disclaimer: I don’t have a Beta and English is my second language, so if there’s any discrepancies in the actual writing, I’m so sorry!

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING

Next chapter

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x reader

Warnings: Language, mentions of blood, violence and death, slight angst

Chapter 1: Famous Last Words

You weren’t supposed to be here. Your stupid friends had dragged you along under the guise of oh, this’ll be so fun! And you had begrudgingly gone with them to the stupid underground rave in some obscure section of the outskirts of New York.

And you hated it.

It was loud, everyone was either high or drunk, your friends had disappeared somewhere in the crowd, leaving you to fend for yourself at the rusty bar, that served as a stark reminder that you should disinfect your entire body, when you got home.

“Another?” The bartender looked bored, but pointed at your beer. You nodded. Another hour and you were out of here, friends or not. He put the beer in front of you with a hard clang of metal meeting glass, and you thankfully took it, handed him the money and took a large swig, scanning the room.

You hated big crowds. No way you could keep track of everybody, the exits were obscured and you hated not having any plan of exit.

“Hey, there, pretty girl, all–” you held a hand up to the sweating, blond man who had slid into the seat next to you.

“Do I look like I’m in the mood to talk?” You asked, not even looking at him.

“I Just–” You silenced him again, a finger in his face. “Ah. Turn around, leave me alone or I will throat punch you so hard, your children won’t be able to talk.” He sulked off as you finished your beer, setting it gently on the bar.

“Bathroom?” You asked the bartender, who pointed down the hall next to him. Great, loved that for you. An empty, creepy hall with fluorescent lights? What could go wrong?

Apparently, many things can go wrong when taking a wrong turn in a dark, empty and creepy hallway.

Mainly, you might stumble onto something, you definitely shouldn’t have seen. Like maybe holding cells full of dried blood. Or an operating table that’d seen better days, also full of dried blood and various other fluids. Or, maybe, maybe it would be the mountains of files strewn around the room marked Experiment 34B, section 12, test 67.

And yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have grabbed some of the files, covered in what looked like bile and droplets of blood and gore, but the investigative journalist in you just couldn’t help it. Especially when you saw a date ending with 2021 on it and the Hydra skull. Maybe you should have kept your nose down when leaving the cold and creepy room, because you didn’t notice the cameras following you as you left, stuffing the files into the waistband of your stockings, hiding it under your dress.

You had been tossing and turning all night - you didn’t even try to find your friends in the mass of bodies on the floor, simply texting them that you left, found a cab and were totally, superduper top notch fine.

The files you’d grabbed seemed to burn your eyes every time you looked at them, leaving scorching visuals of the holding cells and blood on your retinas. It was, in hindsight, probably not the brightest idea you’d ever had, but now you were here, stuck with them and no idea what to do with them.

You had considered going straight to the police, but thought better of it - you couldn’t know if some of them might be involved, and it seemed way too dangerous strutting in there, files in hand. Then you considered your editor, but since you currently were benched on fluff-pieces, that might be a shittier idea.

In the end, you decided to let them stay where they were - on your desk, probably burning holes in the wood with pure evil, and sat down on your chair, staring at them. It would be a bad idea to open them. A really bad idea. A terrible, horrible idea that would 100 percent give you nightmares for the rest of your life.

So naturally, you opened them and started reading.

It was sickening. Pictures lined the folders, flooding your brain with the absolute horror, some of the people pictured, had to go through. Open wounds, bleeding and decaying being filled with liquids. Death. Silent screams, etched into the photos, a stark reminder of the absolute monsters Hydra kept.

Even worse was the actual reports inside.

Subject 44, fatal consequences after injection of serum Ai223#. Brainmatter melted out from ears.

Subject 12, fatal consequenses after injection of serum Be77#. Disfigurement.

And so forth, and so forth. It was terrifying, and when you saw the dates on the different reports, you knew you couldn’t sit with this yourself. It seemed like Hydra was still actively trying to perfect a Super Soldier-Serum, failing and trying again. You made up your mind quickly, gathering everything, including the text from your friend where the address was clearly stated, and stood up, quickly pulling on a pair of joggers and a hoodie, stuffing the files into a bag along with your computer, wallet and phone and stalked out of your apartment, flagging down a cab.

“Stark Compound, please.” You said breathlessly, already on edge, grabbing your bag and holding it close to your body. It felt like every eye in the city was on you, a red mark on your back.

“That’s outside of the city, I—” You groaned. “I’ll pay the extra fee, just get me there, and get me there fast.” You rumbled at the probably sweet cab-driver, your eyes flicking to the street.

As the cab started driving, you spotted something that made your breath hitch and your heart to stop.

A man, covered in the darkness, held a hand up and waved a single wave at you, gun in hand.

“Please, please, drive fast.” You said desperately to the driver, who, to his credit, sped up. He must’ve sensed the urgency in your voice.

—---------

The compound rose over the hill at the same time as the sun. It took your breath away - massively impressive in stature, the safety of the building washed over you as a wave. I would be safe. At least, you would hand the damn files over and then go on your merry way, hopefully just as normally as the day before.

The silvery bling of the metal plates on the building was almost blinding as the sun hit it, and the driver slowed before stopping fully and turning to you.

“Are you okay, miss?” He sounded sincere in his worry, reminiscent of how your dad used to look at you, when you were sick as a kid. You gave him a grateful smile and started rummaging your bag, finding your wallet.

“I am now. Thank you, thank you for driving fast and all the way out here.” He shook his head as you tried to hand him the money.

“Don’t worry about it. I can feel a girl in trouble, it’s my duty to get you safe.” You insisted on paying, until he finally agreed to take 30 dollars, but no more.

“I’m Pete, if you ever need a safe ride again, you call the central and ask for me, no matter what day, time or year. Okay?” You nodded, feeling overwhelmed by his sincerity and smiled at him.

“Thanks, Pete.”

You got out of the car and made the small trek to what you assumed was the front door, clutching your bag tightly. You didn’t even need to try to look for the doorbell, because a very familiar voice rang out from the coms.

“Tours are monday to thursday, no more, no less. It’s Saturday and birdshittingly early, come back another day.” The com crackled.

“Uhm… I, uh, I’m not… I’m not here for a tour.” You said, trying to find somewhere to speak into. Crackle again.

“Autographs are given in the city, if you bump into us. Not here. Goodbye, now.” You rolled your eyes.

“I’ve got something you guys need to see. I’m not a fangirl, I’m not here for autographs and I’m not here because I think it would be fun to cosy up with the Avengers.” You said, huffing in annoyance. Snarky asshole.

“What do you have?” You glared at the closed door.

“Just… Hold it up to the door.” You did as instructed, showing one of the files with the Hydra symbol on it to the door.

It buzzed.

You stepped inside, taken aback at the white and silver walls and stopped dead in your tracks at the foyer. You had no idea where to go. You heard footsteps approaching and suddenly, Tony Stark was in front of you, hand outstretched, in a monogrammed robe and slippers.

“This better be real, or I’m gonna be pissed. Walk with me.” You snickered and handed him the file, following him as he weaved through halls and rooms, leading you to what looked like a conference room, motioning to a chair. You sat down, crossing your legs and arms, waiting.

“Care to tell me how you got this?” He glanced at you.

“I didn’t know Tony Stark was a cuddly fucker with slippers.” You said, slightly annoyed at his all-business way. He rolled his eyes.

“I asked you something. And they’re comfy.” You sighed.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, by the way, thanks for asking.” He glared at you and you leaned back in the chair, pointing to the file in his hand.

“I went with my stupid friends to a stupid rave, where I took a stupid turn looking for the stupid bathroom and found the stupid papers. Files. Plural.” You pulled the remaining two files out of your bag and slid them across the table to Tony, who picked them up, looking increasingly worried.

“So now I’ve given them to you, which I thought would be the right people to give it to, and I’ll go.” You tried to stand, but his hand was on your shoulder in a flash, keeping you in place. You groaned. “My guy, this has been a hellish night, it’s late and I haven’t slept. I’m too tired for this shit.” He didn’t answer.

“FRIDAY, call everyone, and I mean everyone, no matter how tired Captain Wingman is, to conference room B. Now.” A soft, female voice sounded.

“They have been alerted, sir.” He turned to you, fully facing you again.

“You need to tell us everything about this, got it?”

“If I can go home after, fine.”

“Do you have any idea what you stumbled upon in your drunken stupor?” He asked.

“I wasn’t drunk, Tin-man.” You retorted as several pairs of feet rushed to the room. Slowly, they all filed inside - Natasha, Clint, Sam, Wanda, Vision, Steve motherfucking Rogers and, in the end, walking sluggishly with a cup of steaming coffee in his hand, Bucky Barnes. They all glanced at you with curiosity on their faces, all but Bucky, who had sat down in the closest chair to the door and closed his eyes.

“What’re we doing here, Tony, at the crack-ass of dawn?” Sam asked, stifling a yawn before pointing to you. “And when did you get a new intern?” Tony rolled his eyes and threw the files on the table.

“Not an intern, an informant, apparently. Or, at least, she’s an accidental informant.” All eyes turned to you and you felt a little intimidated.

“Uh, hi.” Every set of eyes flicked back to Tony, who sat down and gestured for you to talk.

Okay, so… Uhm, I went to this rave-thing at the outskirt of the city, super fucking skeevy if you’re asking me, uh, and I found.. By accident, I might add, like… A room?” You looked at Tony. “Okay, hang on.” You sat up in your chair, drew a deep breath and tried again, this time with confidence. “So, I was looking for the bathroom and I must’ve made a wrong turn, because suddenly I was in this room full of holding cells, tubes, an operating table and a shitton of these..” You pointed to the files, one of them already in Steve’s hand. “And I thought well, maybe someone could use these for something good and I… Took ’em.” you said, huffing out a breath. “And now I’m here with you fine folks, giving it to you and going home. Thanks, bye!” You stood up, but a single look from Tony had you falling back on the chair with a groan.

“Listen, did anyone see you take these?” Steve asked, his brows furrowed as he flicked through the files, disgust painted clear as day on his face.

“I… Don’t think so?” you said. He looked at you. “You don’t think so?”

“Well, there was like… A weird man outside my apartment waving with a gun and all as I left, but I mean, that’s just New York.” You looked at Steve’s shocked expression to Tony’s exacerbated one to Bucky rolling his eyes.

“Right?” No answer. “Right, guys?”

Silence.

Natasha leaned forwards and rested her elbows on the table.

“Look, you might’ve stumbled on some pretty damn important shit.” “No shit, Sherlock.”

“And it’s probably more valuable to Hydra than you know.” She continued, clearly unbothered by your interruption. She glanced at Tony.

“We need to get her under protection.” You blanched.

“Uh, no, no we don’t need to get me under protection. It was one dude!” Natasha looked at you with empathy.

“I’m pretty sure that if you went back to your apartment, you’d be dead come morning.” You groaned.

“Because of one guy? In New York? Being a creep?” You asked, looking around at the gathering of very serious faces. “Come on!”

“You really have no thoughts of self preservation, do you?” Bucky piped up, his voice bored and his eyes focused on his metal arm, flexing and releasing the fingers. You sneered at him.

“Okay, I do have self preservation, dude, I’m just not going to put my life on hold because a single creep spotted me. If I did that every time that happened, I might as well let the earth swallow me whole.”

“Which is exactly what you need to do now. You’re staying here until further notice.” Tony said sternly. You rolled your eyes.

“Am I being grounded, dad?” He narrowed his eyes at you and you drew a deep breath. “I’m grateful for your concern, but I do have a life. Work, friends, a favourite coffee shop. I’m not putting it on hold.” You said, trying to sound stern and final - it mostly came out a little worried and whiny, but it would have to do. “Besides, this…” You gestured around the room. “Is far away and a screaming, blinking light to anyone involved with Hydra. You don’t think this’ll be the first place to look?” Tony sighed and exchanged a quick look with Steve, who, in turn, smiled tight lipped.

“Fine. You’ll be in a safehouse, with a bodyguard until there’s control over this.” You narrowed your eyes at Steve, who at least had the courtesy to look bashful about giving you orders.

“Sure thing, let’s just boss me around.” Steve glanced at Natasha and Bucky before folding his arms over his chest and nodding to Bucky.

“Bucky’ll be your 24/7 protection. Where he goes, you go and vice versa.” You flew out of your chair, while Bucky looked like he had been handed a warm pile of shit.

“No way, I don’t need a babysitter–”

“I don’t want to be a babysitter–” Bucky tried to say something, but you cut him off. “I don’t need a babysitter or even 24/7 protection! I’m fine.”

“Listen, doll, you’re clearly ready to meet death—” Bucky glared at you and you folded your arms.

“Am not, I just don’t want–” “besides, I can’t and won’t be responsible for picking up your shit from the floor when this goes sideways, because you can’t fucking control your desire for death and danger–” You narrowed your eyes to slits, pointing a finger at him. “Listen here, you tin-armed wannabe bad boy, I’m not a soldier you can—” you got cut off by the glaring tones from your phone. You quickly swiped it from your bag and looking at the number. Strange, your landlord never called you this early.

“Y/N?” He sounded frantic.

“Yeah?”

“Oh thank god, I was terrified you were in the building!” You could hear the faint whistle from sirens and he sounded out of breath. A weird crackling sounded behind his voice as well.

“WHat? No, I’m… Running errands.” You glanced at the group of superpeople around you, suddenly very aware of where you were. Your palms were sweaty.

“Oh god, thank god.” Your heart was in your throat as the sound of sirens came even closer.

“What, Mr. Larsen, what’s going on?” Your hands shook as you heard his voice, shaking in fear, form the next sentence.

“The complex. It… There was an accident. The entire building is gone.”

“What do you mean, gone?” Your face felt cold.

“It blew up, Y/N, the entire thing blew up.”

You hung up and slowly sat down, your stare unfocused.

“Looks like I might need that babysitter, anyhow, Tony.”

Next chapter

TAGLIST:

@sebastianstansassslaps

@the-omni-princess

@getthismoose

@avengershoney

@janita

@tfandtws

@youtubersshipper

@calstielwinchester

---------

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#bucky smut #bucky barnes fanfic #marvel #marvel fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky #bucky fluff #james barnes #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky angst #bucky fanfic #the winter soldier

[givemetherapyimawritingtravesty]

Hi! Way back when in your disability pride month post you mentioned you hc Logan w/ some depression and Finn with adhd. I'm adhd, and sometimes it causes issues with my friends with depression, when I am just SO much and they really can't handle so much. I was wondering if you'd write a fic about something along those lines and maybe leo just in the middle? And/or how they solve it (i.e, finn going for a run to get out energy or smth) i LOVED your logan h/c leo's depression and would love more!

Yes! Okay so disclaimer, this is based of my experiences with things similar to what anon is talking about.

Also, does this feature some Logan / Sirius bro-lationship because do I have another ask I’m working on about that? Maybe. Maybe. (Who am I kidding, definitely yes lol.)

I’m sorry this took soooo long to get out, but it’s long (like, over 2,700 words) and took a lot of time and energy and I haven’t had the energy or people points to deal with things lately. But finally, it is finished. (You may ask yourself, what are people points? Well, read on to learn what I mean lol. It's a real thing my friends and I use to express how we're feeling.)

Credit, as always, to the amazing @lumosinlove who created this universe and let's us play around with it!

CW for depression and anxiety references

Finn woke up very excited. He was so hyper; he could barely contain himself. He was practically vibrating with excitement for the day. He had been feeling a little cooped up the last few days, having a lazy weekend with his boys, watching movies on the couch. Today he was finally able to let out some of that pent up energy playing tennis with Kasey and Nat, who had only agreed to go last night when Leo suggested it after the whole day of Finn not being able to sit still for a single movie scene.

Finn sat up in bed, pulling his phone from the nightstand to check the time a shoot a quick text to Kasey to confirm that they were up and would be ready to meet at the courts in an hour.

He heard Leo start to rustle on the other side of their still sleeping boyfriend and thought it odd that Logan, ever the light sleeper, hadn’t moved yet. He reached down to grab his shoulder and shake him awake not exactly gently, being a little too excited for the day ahead.

Logan only groaned and roughly shifted away from the touch, pulling a pillow over his head.

Finn shot a questioning look over to Leo, who just shook his head and whispered, “Let him sleep in. He hasn’t been doing well the last few days, he probably just needs some rest.”

“Then who’s gonna help me beat Kase and Nat in doubles? You already had plans to help Celeste bake for Katie’s bake sale.” Finn pouted.

“Y’all’ll just have to play singles and switch out, I’m sure they won’t mind. Come on, lets get some coffee brewing.”

***

Leo, having already seen one boyfriend off to the gym, crawled back into bed and pulled the other into his bare chest.

Logan only sighed, snuggling closer into the warmth.

Leo soothed a hand through Logan’s hair, whispering, “I have to get ready to head over and help Celeste, are you gonna be alright by yourself today?”

Logan hesitated for a moment before nodding against Leo’s chest.

“Is it a bad one today?” Leo asked softly.

Logan took a shaky, deep breath and started to silently cry, nodding again. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. It happens, alright? You’re alright darlin’. These last few days were hard, I know, and it’s okay. Do you want me to stay with you?”

Logan hesitated again before shaking his head. “Go. I think I’ll try to sleep it off a bit.”

Leo sighed, knowing that what Logan wanted was to be left alone for a bit. “Okay, but if you need anything… or me… just text, ‘kay? Just let me know what we can do.”

Leo sat there a few minutes, letting Logan settle down before getting up to head to the Dumias’.

When he got there, he let himself in and saw Sirius helping to wrangle the kids and keep them occupied playing ‘go fish’ while Celeste got the kitchen set up.

“Cap, hey, didn’t think you’d be here.” Leo let out a surprised chuckle.

“Just swung by for a visit while Re had to do some work at the rink.”

“Ah.” Leo continued to make his way to the kitchen, but then stopped and turned back to Sirius. “Hey. Um, could I have a word with you quick?”

“Oui, of course.” Sirius said, setting his hand full of cards and walking over. Right before he reached Leo, he turned around, “And no peeking at my cards!” He called back to the kids, who only giggled. “What’s up rookie? Am I in trouble?”

“No, no, of course no.” Leo let out a nervous laugh. “It’s just.” He sighed. “Lo. He’s… been having a rough go of it and… I don’t know. He stayed home today, and I know he won’t talk to me about what’s going on. I… you’re like a brother to him. He respects your opinion. Not that he doesn’t respect ours, it’s just…”

“Different?”

“Yeah. I… it’s been getting bad again. I think he should go see Heather, but he never wants to talk about it with us and… Could you talk to him maybe? I just…”

“Of course. Yeah, I wondered what was up when he missed team dinner Friday. I get it’s the off season and rest and all but, he never misses, unless he really not doing good, you know?” Sirius let out a heavy breath. “I mean, I’ve been there and… it sucks. I want to help him. Whatever I can. Just tell me.”

“You should say that to him, I’m sure he could use the support right now. This weekend… Finn was just bouncing off the walls, I don’t think he sat still long enough to really notice it. And then they were supposed to go play tennis today but- Lo really wasn’t up to it. He’s home, wanted some space. And I get that, I just wish… he’d, I don’t know. I don’t know.” Leo started to get a little choked up.

“Hey.” Sirius said, pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay. He’s hurting and that hurts. You can feel upset about it too.”

“But he’s the one…”

“Hey, non, don’t go down that rabbit hole. You can feel what you want without having to feel guilty about it. You support him the best you can and that takes a toll on you too.” Sirius said, holding Leo at arm’s length. “I mean… I know I’ve put Re through the ringer a few times trying to get me to calm down when the world starts to spiral. And he still has his days too when the world is too much handle and getting up is too much energy. But we get through it together. It’ll be okay, Knutty. I promise.”

Leo sniffled and ran a sleeve across his eyes. “Yeah. Thanks, Cap. You’ll talk to him?”

“Yes. I’ll give him a few hours to rest then shoot him a text and see what he’s up to, ouais? Now, Celeste had more ingredients than should be in one household, better go help her bake up a storm.” Sirius said, giving him a pat on the shoulder and a gentle nudge towards the kitchen.

***

Logan knew from the moment he woke up that it was going to be a rough day for him. He sat up slow, still groggy, and looked over at the clock. 11:47 am. Almost noon. He looked around the room to take in his surroundings. He vaguely remembers Finn trying to get him up this morning, excited to go out and play some tennis today. He remembers being grumpy and Leo saying something about letting him rest. Then Leo coming back, acknowledging that it was a bad day, and letting Logan cry before leaving him on his own for a bit.

He pushed the covers aside and planted his feet on the ground, getting up to walk to the bathroom. It felt like everything was in slow motion. He made his way to the kitchen, the apartment unusually silent. He stopped at the counter and stared at the coffee pot for he wasn’t sure how long before two long arms wrapped around his waist slowly. He blinked back to reality and realized Leo was behind him, talking.

“Lo? Logan? Hey, you in there?” He sounded worried, tossing his keys on the counter.

Logan turned around in Leo’s arms and brought his hands up to rest on the younger boy’s chest. “Quoi? Oui. Désolé.” The world still seemed to be moving too slow and muffled. He hadn’t even heard Leo enter their apartment just now. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt like there was cotton in his ears, and all his thoughts being drowned about by a dull ringing. “I…” Logan’s words died in his mouth. He didn’t know what was going on or what was wrong beyond the fact the something was wrong. Tears started to well in his eyes.

Leo gave a sad sigh and pulled the shorter boy into his chest, one hand on the back of Logan’s neck, the other rubbing soothingly up and down his broad, bare back. They stood there for several long minutes as Logan sobbed silently into his chest.

After Logan’s tears tapered to a stop, he held Leo close and whispered, voice a bit rough, “I though you were helping bake?”

“I hadn’t heard anything, so I came by to check and see how you were doing. Drink any water?”

“Haven’t had anything.” Logan mumbled into the taller man’s chest, shivering in the cool apartment in only a pair of shorts.

Leo held him close. “How about I make some peppermint tea? Yeah?”

“You should get back.”

Leo sighed, noting Logan’s subtle attempt to hint that he just wanted to be left alone, though the physical comfort he seemed to seek begged to differ.

“I have time to make you a cup, then I’ll get back. Is that okay?” Leo asked softly, running a hand up and down the shorter man’s back.

“Oui.” Logan grumbled, pulling away from Leo in favor of curling up on the couch with the blanket they kept there.

A few long and silent minutes passed before Leo handed him a warm mug, placing a soft kiss to his head before saying something Logan couldn’t focus enough to hear. He just curled around the warmth of the mug and watched Leo go.

Logan wasn’t sure how much time passed, but he had only taken a few sips of tea and now it was cold. He set it on the coffee table and made his way into the bedroom, picking up his phone and seeing a text from Sirius.

Hey, missed you at dinner the other night. Everything okay?

I yeah just wasn’t feeling it ig

Fair. Anything I can do to help?

Are you busy rn? No worries if not

I’ll be there in 20. Never too busy for you Tremz <3

Thanks cap

***

“Hey Leo?” Sirius said, walking into the kitchen. “I just got a text from Tremz, I’m gonna head over, d’accord? I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Leo gave a sad smile. “Okay. Thank you.”

And with that, Sirius headed out the door and made his way across town to the cub’s apartment.

When he got there, he let himself in and toed off his shoes. He found Logan curled up on the couch, nearly asleep under a comforter that Sirius knew had been dragged out of their bedroom. Logan seemed to not even notice him until he sat cross legged on the floor in front of him.

“Hey, Tremz. What can I do?”

Logan’s only response was to sniffle and pull the oversize blanket tighter around himself.

“Hey,” Sirius cooed as he got up to settle on the couch next to Logan, wrapping him up in a hug, “C’est bon. It’s okay. Shh.” He pulled the shorted man’s head to his chest.

“But-” Logan hiccupped, “I ditched him. We- we were supposed to play tennis, bu- but I just couldn’t.”

“It’s okay, Finn will understand. I’m sure he understands.”

“But I- I did it last week too. An- And Kasey and Natalie, we were all supposed to-”

“Logan,” Sirius said more sternly, pulling away just enough to meet his eyes, “I’m sure they understand, it happens. If they don’t, they’ll get over it. You have to take care of you, and if you don’t have the energy, or people points, to do things, that’s okay.”

“People points?” Logan hiccupped again.

“Oui. Like, some days you can have lots of people points to use up by being social? And some people take more people points because they can be a lot to be around, which isn’t a bad thing. Like… I love Finn, yeah? But he’s got a lot of energy sometimes and talks a mile a minute, and sometimes I can’t keep up. And some days, I just don’t have people points to use up, or I have only a few. For me, Re doesn’t take a lot of my people points to be around, and when he knows I’m having a bad day, we just snuggle up to a movie, or, I don’t know, we just sit in companionable silence? We just don’t do socially exhausting things. And Dumo, he’s good at seeing when I’m just out of points, and he’s easy to be around, even when Re is too much. And he understands. Your boys will understand too.”

Logan had pulled away to sit back and had been nodding along slowly, staring down at the floor, deep in thought. “D’accord. That… makes sense, I guess. I just… I feel like I’m low on people points all the time lately.” He sniffled quietly.

“That’s okay. You just need to get some rest and… I’m gonna say this and don’t get upset, but I think you should start seeing Heather more regularly.”

“I- yeah.” He sighed out. “Why would I get upset when you’re right? I… I saw her a few times, but then I was fine, so I thought- I don’t know, that I didn’t need to see her anymore or waste her time.”

“Tremz, there doesn’t have to be anything wrong to see her, and it’s not a waste of time. Not if it helps keep you in a good place. And- And sometimes it’s not enough. To keep you good, and that’s okay. I…” Sirius let out a long exhale, steadying himself for what he was about to admit next. “For a while, when I was still living with Dumo, nothing helped. And even after I was with Re, I… My childhood sucked, yeah? And I had a lot of nightmares because of it. Still do once in a while, but it’s not- just not as much? I… So I went on medication for it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s helped. A lot.”

“I- I didn’t know that. That you took medication for, well, anything.”

“Yeah… I don’t really like talking about it. Not because I’m embarrassed or anything, but because it’s my business. And Re’s too. And Dumo knows, but only because he had suggested I bring it up with Heather in the first place. I also have high blood pressure I take medication for, but I think that’s all the stress of the job.” Sirius joked, giving a small chuckle, trying to lighten the conversation a bit.

“I- Thank you. For sharing that. I never really considered that as an option. Finn and Leo might have something to say abo-”

“It is an option if you want it to be. And the decision isn’t Leo and Finn’s to make. It’s yours. You don’t have to bring it up to them if you don’t want, but I think you should tell them what your thinking. Just don’t let them make the decision for you. It’s up to you.”

Logan nodded. He moved to pick up his mug from the table but retracted his hand when he realized it was cold and gave a sad sigh.

“You want fresh tea?” Sirius asked, gesturing to the mug.

“No, it’s okay.” He said quietly.

“Is it? I’ll ask again, would you like a warm cup of…” Sirius trailed off as he leaned forward to snag the mug off the coffee table and give it a sniff. He laughed to himself, “… of course, peppermint tea?”

“I mean, kinda, but I don’t want to get up so-”

“I’ll be back.” Sirius said, taking the mug into the kitchen to dump it out and make a new one.

“Sirius-”

“Ah ah ah, nope. I’m doing this for you, just sit tight.”

A few moments later, Sirius returned, pressing a warm mug into Logan’s hands, tea bag still steeping.

Logan whispered a soft, “Thank you” and took a small sip, huddling himself around the warmth as Sirius settled next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

“Is there anything else I can do? Leave? Stay?” Sirius asked softly.

“Stay. If you don’t mind?”

“Of course, as long as you need.”

#sweater weather lumosinlove #oknutzy #logan tremblay #leo knut #finn o'hara #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #coops #pascal dumais #dumo #disability pride month #fic continuation #tw depression #tw anxiety

[the-dendrophile-bookdragon]

Hi sorry for bothering you but can you write where Peter and reader are dating and the reader is sick and he doesn't know.One day,the reader saw him and MJ together and assumed that Peter cheat on them and leave without letting Peter explain anything.After One year,they meet again at the hospital where the reader are and fluff ending.. thank you 😁😁

A/N: Please you aren‘t bothering me. I love to write and if I can write for someone I love it even more. Here it is, sorry it took so long. Enjoy, little tulip! This will have two parts! Little disclaimer, I’m writing about chronic headaches. I have something similar and I base it off on my own experience, I know there are people who have different experiences than I.

Pairing: Peter Parker x gn!reader Warning: mention of cheating, angst

Blinding Lights

There they were again. The bane of your existence. The reason you wouldn’t get up sometimes. Your headache. But this wasn’t a normal, I just take one ibuprofen and everything will disappear and tomorrow I will go to school as if nothing happened. No this were chronic headaches and they stay for more than a week. One even lasted a month.

In times like this you had to rely on a lot of people. Your parents helped you with hydration, food, going to the toilet and getting you into the shower. Your friends were there to bring all the schoolwork and inform you about everything happening in school. And Peter, your boyfriend, the best human being on this whole wide universe, was the one cheering you up. He also did your homework behind your back so your eyes wouldn’t have to work all the time.

You called him to tell him you have another episode. But this time you aren’t at home, your doctor said you should get monitored in the hospital to figure out how to medicate during your migraine attacks. He smiled when you video chatted with him and told you he would swing by when he was allowed to and tell you about his day and what you have missed. And he did, every day.

After the episode was over you were released. You walked out of the hospital and walked over to the bus station to wait for your mom who was running late. On the other side of the street was the cute coffee Peter told you about. He described it to you and told you vaguely about his plans for a date there. You were so excited.

You watched people enter and leave the shop. Couples, friend groups and colleagues sitting on tables and chatting. One particular pair sprung up into your eyes. Both seemed so familiar, as if you knew them. Your eyes widened as you realised that MJ and Peter were sitting in the shop. They were sitting at the spot Peter described you. By the window next to the hanging branches of the golden pothos. Your heart broke as you watched the interaction between them. Peter was throwing his head back as MJ was talking to him. He took her hand into his and squeezed it. She then turned it over and caressed his wrist with her fingers. They looked so contend. They looked like they were in love with each other. Maybe Peter was exhausted of your constant migraine attacks and you always cancelling due to them.

You couldn’t dwell on your swirling thoughts. Your mother came to a stop and you immediately got into it. Your mom looked at you worriedly. You shook your head and leaned your head on the window, “Just tired and ready to sleep in my own bed.” She nodded and drove off.

The next day everyone was glad you were back. A lot of people asked you about your experience in the hospital only for you to say it was a little boring and some treatments were a little uncomfortable but nothing name worthy happened in there.

You were saved by Ned who told you about everything that happened outside of school. “And then Peter and MJ went over and we watched this ultra-scary movie. We did it because we know you don’t really like those kinds of movies. You wouldn’t have liked it. Oh and I forgot, we have plans to go to this knew Disney movie. Peter mentioned after a visit last week that you were interested in it and we made plans for this weekend. I hope you don’t mind that we planned and didn’t include you.” You only shrugged and casted your eyes on the floor. ‘Something you also did behind my back’, you thought.

You both went to the classroom for your first subject. You saw Peter sitting in his usual seat, MJ behind him. Left and right were Ned’s and your usual seats. You immediately beelined for a seat in the far back of the classroom. This earned you confused looks. Peter went over to you, “Hey, babe. What’s wrong? Why aren’t you sitting at our usual spot?” You looked out of the window and then to Peter again, “I’m still a little light sensitive.” Peter nodded and smiled, “Well then I will change too. I missed you and wanted to spend every minute by your side.” You smiled softly at him. Peter noted that your smile didn’t fully reach the corner of your eyes as they always do. He shrugged it off, after all you weren’t at your fullest energy level yet.

The day went on and the classes went by. Your friends noticed how you distanced yourself from them. Further they noticed how you acted coldly at MJ and your boyfriend. After the teacher ended the last class for the day you rushed out of the classroom and out of school without waiting for your friends to walk home. You put on your sunglasses and went out of school and into the direction of your bus station. Peter was waiting for you by your locker when Flash went by him and told him off handily that you rushed out of school and speed walked to your station. Your boyfriend was confused. As fast as he could he rushed out of school. Ned and MJ saw him and ran after him. As they rounded the corner they saw the bus you are sitting in drive by them. You were sitting by the window with your shades on and your earphones in. All three looked confused after you.

MJ was fishing her phone out of her pocket and dialling your number. After Ned tried to call you for the fifth time they gave up. Instead of driving home to Peter they went to your house. Your dad opened the door and smiled sympathetically at them. “I’m sorry. Y/N doesn’t feel so good. They came home and immediately went to bed. I think you will see her tomorrow at school.” The group of friends nodded and went over to Ned’s as he was living a few blocks away from you. On the way over they brainstormed as to why you were so different. You would have told them if you wouldn’t feel so well. They would have brought you home.

Over the next couple of weeks you were more and more distancing yourself from your friends. To the point that you would turn on the heal if you saw one of them. Ned had the most contact with you, if ever. He was the only tie to you, Peter and MJ. More often they had meetings at one of their places to discuss what you and Ned talked about and how to approach you.

Ned was telling them that you started a new hobby when Peters phone dinged. He picked it up and turned on the home screen to look at the message. It was a long text from you. Peter opened it and at the same time wanted to throw it into the wall of his bedroom. Both of his friends looked at him in worry as tears spilled from their friend’s eyes. “Hey Pete. What did they write?” Ned softly touched his shoulder to give his best friend some support. MJ took his phone as he gave it to her. She read thru and her eyes widen before becoming sad. She turned off his phone and laid her head on his shoulder to comfort him. She turned her attention to Ned who was still a little confused, “They broke up with him. They said they didn’t want to be a burden and hold him back. It’s their typical fashion, she feels guilty.”

Peter hiccupped, “They shouldn’t. They know I love them even with the headaches. I love them. I would lay down my life for them, I even did it without knowing that I saved them. They only saw Spider-man.”

Both friends hugged their friend tighter. Aunt May came home with Peter’s favourite take out and all four of them snuggled on the small couch to watch Peter’s comfort movie.

Part 2

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Taglist

@jolovesfandoms @greeniegreengreen @theweirdos-things

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #spiderman x reader

[nattikay]

So with Rise of the Titans coming in less than a week now, I just wanted to make a clarifying post of sorts on my current mental state with it, since ToA is my primary active fandom at the moment and I have a decent number of followers who came for it. A sort of heads-up on what to expect from this blog when the film releases.

I have made it no secret that I was extremely crestfallen by the decision to reverse Jim’s transformation at the end of Wizards, for a multitude of reasons that I have discussed before. However, I have also always tried to allow for the caveat that I don’t know what will happen in the movie, that such a change might have been necessary for the events of said movie, and that seeing the movie might change my mind.

However, while it is possible that the movie might change my mind....it’s highly unlikely.

As I have mentioned before, one of the things that draws me to troll!Jim specifically as a character is the fact that I find his hybrid nature extremely intriguing. It is this intrigue more than any other aspect of the show that drew me into the fandom. 

That said, there are really only two scenarios the movie could potentially pull that would make me change my mind about reversing the transformation:

Bring Jim’s halftroll form back in some way, shape, or form.

Present a different scenario that I find even more intriguing.

Note that neither of these are speaking to the objective quality of the movie. I have no doubt that, whatever happens, it will be very well-done in terms of animation, emotion, storytelling, etc. And I do not say any of this to diss on the creative team who put it all together, as I have nothing but respect for their passion and skills. 

But as for my personal experience and interaction with the series up to this point...well....I’m sorry, but it’s been clouded. 

My anticipation for Wizards last summer was higher than that for any other show that I can remember looking forward to, ever. So much so that it took a physical toll on me because of how high my anxiety spiked leading up to, during, and a while after its release. And I got burned. After all that excitement, all that anticipation, all that hype, the one possible thing that I was most dreading and hoped wouldn’t happen...happened. And Boy Did It Hurted. 

After that ordeal, I’m in a...kinda weird place, emotionally, for RotT. There’s still residual anxiety left over from the emotional fiasco of Wizards, and with my favorite character now (sorta) gone...there’s not really much excitement tbh...only apprehension. I haven’t even been able to bring myself to really watch any of the trailers. 

I will definitely still watch the movie, but at this the current moment it feels a little more out of a mix of obligation and “let’s-get-this-over-with” just to see the canon ending. Which is a shame and believe me I wish I could get as excited as everyone else...but it is what it is.

As for my fanworks and how the movie will affect them...well, obviously I can’t say 100% for sure without having actually seen the movie. Currently my post-canon works take place in a universe where everything that’s happened in canon so far did occur, but sometime after the events of Wizards Jim chooses to go back to halftroll form, with Douxie making the potion for him and even slightly adjusting it so that he can still walk in daylight. Here’s the current possibilities as far as I can imagine:

I completely ignore the events of the movie and just continue with ^ that headcanon.

I accept all the events of the movie but still have Jim transform back afterwards. So basically the current version but with a little more in-between.

One of two scenarios mentioned earlier happens, and I will adjust accordingly. Unfortunately I think this is the least likely possibility as I am not very optimistic about either scenario occurring (but would be more than happy to eat my words) 

I accept all the events of the movie but only as an AU where Jim is still half-troll, be it that he never changed back in Wizards OR that he used Douxie’s potion as mentioned above.

I basically keep the current headcanon but pick and choose specific ideas or events from the movie to incorporate into it.

so...yeah, I guess. That’s where I am with RotT right now, and perhaps you now have somewhat of a better idea what to expect from this blog in the coming days/weeks. 

mostly I just want to retreat into the headcanons that make me happy in peace. If that makes me a bad fan or something, then...whatever I guess. imma just continue liking what i like because dangit that’s what i’m here for.

*another obligatory disclaimer that again this just applies to my personal subjective experience with the show and is not meant as any sort of objective critique or dismissal of its quality*

#tales of arcadia #trollhunters #rise of the titans #man i hate anxiety

[bluemoose86]

Characters I Adore Despite Never Having Seen a Minute of Their Shows

DISCLAIMER: As it says in the title, I’ve never seen any of the shows I talk about in this post. Because of this, some plot points/character traits/etc. that I talk about might not be accurate. I do plan on watching these shows at some point so I’m trying to avoid too much spoilery content, which is why I haven’t done much extra research. I apologize if I offend anyone somehow, this is just something I thought would be fun :)

Hey all! My name is Moose, and for no reason in particular, I thought I would compile a list of characters whom I really like yet know next to nothing about. Does anyone else ever feel connected to/intrigued by a character without having seen the show or movie they appear in? Let me know! Also, please bear in mind that all I know about these characters/shows is what I’ve seen from fan posts on Instagram, and there will be slight spoilers. Without further ado, enjoy the post!

Dani Clayton and Jamie Taylor – The Haunting of Bly Manor

Their love is something that can actually be so personal. I know Bly manor is a horror show, or at least has prominent horror elements (which is something I don’t enjoy), but seeing them together makes me want to watch it anyways. Even if you don’t believe in soulmates, you can’t see even one screenshot of them together and tell me they aren’t meant to be together. Even in this gif they have heart eyes for each other. Dani is an American au pair–a live-in nanny, basically–who was hired to take care of the children living at Bly Manor, and Jamie is the manor’s gardener. They were both intrigued by each other when they first met, and their relationship progressed very naturally. They’re so comfortable with each other–Dani goes through some rough times as far as I can tell, but Jamie is always there by her side to comfort her. I also love how attracted Dani is to Jamie, no matter how much time has passed (the “you could...come back 🥺” scene kills me). And I KNOW what happens to them already but please,,,,let me live with the illusion of their perfect love story.

Clarke and Lexa – The 100

Yet ANOTHER tragic love story. The gays really can’t get a break, huh? Clarke and Lexa are from very different worlds, yet they work perfectly together as allies and lovers. The 100 takes place in a post-apocalyptic world, where Earth is no longer inhabitable and the rest of humanity lives on a space station called the Ark. Because of reasons, 100 teens from the Ark, including Clarke, are sent down to Earth and have to fight to survive on the ruined planet. Later, they meet Lexa, who leads one of the Grounder clans–people who survived the apocalypse and still live on Earth. There’s immediate tension between both groups, but circumstances require them to work together. Clarke and Lexa become closer as a result and eventually fall in love. Even though they’re only together briefly because #buryyourgays, what I love most about them is how enduring their love is. Clarke has other partners, but no one ever makes her feel the way Lexa did. Lexa really was Clarke’s whole universe; I think one of the other characters even says that Lexa was the greatest love of her life. And Lexa was so smitten with Clarke that she literally went against all her training and customs of her people just so she could make a pretty girl happy. We stan. Their relationship is only onscreen for like a season but I know that Lexa comes back later so I swear I will watch all 6 seasons of this show just for them. I will do it.

Quinn Fabray – Glee

Ok I know that’s not what she normally looks like but that look makes me so gay Jesus Christ 🥵🥵 Anyways, I know the Glee writers really did her dirty even though I haven’t made it past bitchy Quinn from season one. The fact that she was supposed to be a flat, mean antagonist for the whole show but was only saved because of Dianna Agron’s brilliant acting astounds me. She has particularly erratic moments (especially in the season where she gets this haircut), but for the most part she seems like a sweet person. She starts off as a very troubled girl who is under a lot of pressure from her cheer team, her parents, and herself, but after joining the Glee club she becomes more confident and learns how to accept who she is. She comes to care for the other club members as friends and relies on them. I love her development, and I love how Dianna portrayed her despite the writers trying to shove her back in the “stereotypical evil cheerleader” box multiple times. Also, her smile is so cute and so pure 🥺 I’m in love.

Izzie No-Last-name – Atypical

Your Honor, I love her. I clearly have a soft spot for troubled characters, as Izzie starts off much the same as Quinn does. She’s confrontational and just downright mean to Casey Gardener, one of the main characters, after Casey transfers to her school. The two eventually find a way to get along and become friends, and Casey finds out that Izzie struggles with balancing her grades, running track, and taking care of her three (?) younger siblings in lieu of her unreliable mother and absent father. Izzie’s better traits also come to light: she’s strong, independent, and fun-loving, if a bit wild at times, as well as incredibly loyal to Casey. She loves Casey’s autistic brother, Sam, whom most people do not understand or try to get along with. And she’s utterly in love with Casey, which is apparent by their immediate chemistry. She seems like such a fun and complex character. Plus, cute girls smiling is one of my greatest weaknesses and her smile is absolutely adorable.

Waverly Earp and Nicole Haught – Wynonna Earp

Finally a relationship on here that has a happy ending–and a wedding, no less! I love them both, but I feel more connected to Waverly than Nicole. Maybe I’ve just seen more content of her. Waverly is the younger sister of the titular Wynonna Earp, and she helps her defeat supernatural threats to their town of Purgatory (yes, that’s actually the name of their town). That’s all I know about the actual plot of the show lol. Nicole Haught is the deputy and later sheriff of Purgatory and has a crush on Waverly right out of the gate. However, Waverly was dating a man (ew) at the time and somehow thought she was straight. Nicole, of course, was very respectful of Waverly and never tried to pressure her into anything. Even though she knew she might never have a chance, that never stopped her from helping Waverly or Wynonna when they needed it. And they needed it a lot. Of course they eventually fall in love, and while their relationship does have its ups and downs, they always come back to each other. They are also the definition of soulmates: they go through a lot together and are always there to support each other through fights, near-death experiences, and shocking revelations. They utterly adore each other and that adoration never fades no matter what. And I love how they get their happy ending! It’s quite a welcome change from most wlw relationships in media.

And there you go! Sorry this post was so long lol, I didn’t intend for it to be. I hope you all enjoyed, and let me know what you think of these characters. Much love, and stay safe 💙

#dani clayton #jamie taylor #dani x jamie #damie #bly manor #the haunting of bly manor #clarke griffin #lexa #heda lexa #the 100 #clexa #quinn fabray #glee #glee club #glee characters #izzie no last name #atypical #casey gardner #cazzie #waverly earp #nicole haught #wayhaught #wynonna earp #wlw #lesbians #character #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #glee spoilers #the 100 spoilers #atypical spoilers

[let-them-read-fics]

The Finer Things

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 4,864

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Some Self Doubt, Fluff, Some Angst, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first time writing for Blackpink. I hope you enjoy. Happy reading, as always! Let me know what you think. 

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Part 1: Partners

“Alright class, settle in now. Today we’ll be starting our new projects. You know the drill; they’ll be a quarter semester long, and you’ll have a partner to work with. That gives you 9 weeks to complete the assignment and be ready to present your creations. Your topic is “the finer things in life”. Remember: there’s no exact way to do this. Whatever that topic means, however you interpret it, just show us what you envision when you think of that. I look forward to seeing what you come up with.”

Unsurprisingly, everyone is rather excited for this project. Considering this class is an elective, your classmates signed up for it knowing what they were getting themselves into. Regardless, even the stray few that enrolled for an easy A would rather do this than Calculus and Statistics. 

Your eyes scan the room, and you smile upon seeing everyone light up as they discuss their game plans. Familiar eyes meet yours from across the room, and you feel a blush begin to rise to your cheeks. You mentally curse yourself at how easy it is for her to make you giddy, but you don’t look away. The small smile that she gives you nearly makes you combust from the cuteness; you can’t help the dorky grin that takes over your features. 

Before you can fully melt under her gaze, your teacher speaks up again. You silently thank the universe for that divine intervention. “Now that you’ve had a minute to brainstorm, it’s time for everyone’s favorite part: partner time! I’ve chosen your partners based on your individual strengths and weaknesses as photographers; I want this to be a true learning experience for all of you. Being an artist takes constant growth, and I see this as the perfect opportunity.” 

Since your class is a fairly close-knit group of students, no one’s upset by who their partners are. Mrs. Johnson continues rattling off the pairs, and you take a moment to look out the window. It’s a beautiful day, the trees swaying gently in the breeze. The vivid red hues of their leaves are complimented perfectly by the bright blue sky behind them.

“...Y/N, you’ll be working with Rosé.” The second those words leave her lips, your eyes shoot to your partner’s. It’s an odd feeling, to put it plainly; those were the words that you were dying to hear, but also terrified of. After all, working so closely with your long-time crush would definitely prove to be nerve racking. You didn’t have much time to worry, though, as Rosé sat down at the desk in front of you, turning the chair around to face you. It was clear that she loved to see what she did to you, your reactions to her words, everything. She studied you like her life depended on it, but you never noticed. Your brain was always too busy short-circuiting to take in the ways that she watched you from afar, remembering every detail, curve, and dimple of your face. 

“So, how about we meet up after school today to get some ideas going?” She proposes, and you nod. “How’s the park sound? I’d hate to miss such a gorgeous day.” Her face lights up at your suggestion, and you smile at the sight. In her excited state, she rushes out, “That’s just what I was thinking!” The two of you spend the rest of class chatting and goofing around, and go your separate ways once the bell rings. You send her one last wave, already missing her presence. To say the two of you are eager for your next meeting is a major understatement.

Part 2: The First Few Meetings

The first couple weeks are spent getting to know one another better and spending more time together -- something you definitely weren’t complaining about. Seeing her out of school, able to really be herself, was a magical experience. You often thanked your lucky stars that you decided to sign up for the class in the first place.

Part 3: You Go To One Of Her Practices

Attending school practices and games was never really your speed, but you made an exception for Rosé. Some family issues had gotten in the way of your meet-ups for a bit, so the two of you were a little behind schedule for the project. You weren’t worried (the honor student in you knew that you’d get it done in time), but Rosé asked you to stay after school for one of her cheerleading practices. “We can work on it everytime coach gives us a break, okay?” She had said earlier that day, during class. You were almost too mesmerized by the way her lips moved while she spoke to comprehend what she had said, her accent popping out in the most adorable way possible. 

The memory brought a light smile to your face, and she saw it, stealing a glance at you. You looked up at her and tilted your head to the side, letting her know she’d been caught. Her eyes widened in shock and she quickly cleared her throat, clearly not expecting that. 

~~~

“Ah, ah, ah,” you protested, blocking her from sitting down in the seat beside you. “Stand in front of me, I wanna take a picture.” She put on a horrified face, looking down at you. “Excuse me?? Absolutely not! I look terrible. I’m all sweaty.” You rolled your eyes at her, letting out a dramatic sigh. “I’m sorry to inform you, Rosé, but you’re physically incapable of looking bad. My condolences.” You bowed your head in mock pity, adding to the effect. “Oh shut up, you dork.” She said, pushing you playfully. “Fine. One picture; you better make it a good one.” You smiled your signature grin at her, and she got a little lightheaded at the beautiful sight. “1, 2, 3…”

Part 3.5: Could It Be?

“Rosé, I don’t know….” You begin, a grimace crossing your face. The object of your affection had spent the past 10 minutes trying to convince you to ditch work and accompany her to the local fair that was in town for the weekend. It’s not that you didn’t want to go; in fact, you can’t think of a place you’d rather be tonight than with her, getting away from the stress of everything life had been throwing at you. If you were honest with yourself, though, the work was just an excuse for something bigger; you knew that with each step closer you got to Rosé, you would eventually be taking two steps back. You had long ago assured yourself that she didn’t share your attraction, and you had done okay in accepting that fact. By okay I mean “totally not at all, even in the slightest.” You liked to pretend, though, wanting to have some semblance of control over the situation. 

“Pleeeeease?” She whined into the phone, drawing the word out to torture you a little more. Surely she had to know what she was doing.

That simple question served as your command, and it became very apparent in that moment that you’d do just about anything that Rosé asked you to. You kicked yourself, a genuine feeling of nervousness rushing over you. 

A sigh left your lips as you responded, “Okay, okay! But only for a little while.”

Her high pitched cheering drew a laugh from you, and you shook your head at her antics. What were you getting yourself into?

~~~~~

Rosé looked stunning, as usual. Her long blonde locks fell elegantly over her shoulders, looking just as soft as always. The pink top she donned complimented her light blue jeans perfectly; if you weren’t so enraptured by her, you might’ve gotten jealous. How can someone look so gorgeous without even trying? It’s infuriating, to say the least. 

“Ready?” Her cheery accent met your ears, and you felt yourself pep up at the single utterance. Dear lord, you’re in deep. Pushing the thoughts from your head, you send her a simple smile and nod, pulling her in for a hug. 

Freezing time had never been a thing that you thought about often, but it surely crossed your mind as you stood there with her in your arms, feeling her skin against yours. All too quickly she pulled away, already rambling excitedly about all of the rides she wanted to try out. You were still in a bit of a daze, her strawberry perfume making your head spin. Before you know it, she has a hold of your hand, dragging you towards the largest drop tower that the festival had to offer. Maybe this would be a good time to mention that you’re deathly afraid of heights…

~~~~

Hair disheveled and heart palpitating, you stumbled away from the ride. It was comical really, the state you were in. Rosé must have thought so, because she couldn’t contain her laughter once she looked over at you. The sound was music to your ears, and you quickly decided that you’d be willing to get back on that ride if it meant you could hear her giggle like that again. 

After your laughing fit died down, you suggested getting on the ferris wheel to see all of the city lights. Everything burned a little brighter this time of year, the downtown area bustling with life and activity.

“I was just about to mention that. I like the way you think, Y/N.” The combination of the look she gave you and the way your name rolled off of her tongue made you weak in the knees. Before your mind could even begin to question if she had meant something else -- something deeper -- you stopped yourself. It wouldn’t do any good to read too far into the things she said. It was just innocent teasing, you reasoned. 

You failed to notice the way Rosé had looked at you, her eyes taking in every part of you. She wanted to remember this sight; your head thrown back, eyes welling with tears of laughter. When you didn’t pick up on her flirting, though, she took it as a sign to back off a bit. Surely it had been obvious, right? She told herself she’d give it one more try, by the end of the night. No matter your reaction, she would have an answer. 

With that decision made, she led the way to the ferris wheel, you trailing happily behind her. 

“Two?” The worker looked to be about your age, face marked with acne scars, and attitude already unpleasant. With a simple gesture of confirmation, the two of you made your way to the nearest cart. You held the small gate open, allowing Rosé in first. The metal was cool against your palm as you closed it after yourself.

A chilly breeze rolled in, and you noticed her body shiver in the seat across from you. You could tell she tried to hide it, but you were far too observant to miss that. “Here,” you start, already pulling your leather jacket off of yourself and offering it to her. She shook her head furiously, saying, “No, I can’t. You’ll get cold up there!” Maybe it had been the slushy you had earlier, but you got a sudden surge of confidence. “Come over here, then. We’ll keep each other warm.” Her eyes shined with something you couldn’t quite place; something mischievous, perhaps.  

She quickly repositioned herself next to you, snuggling up against your side. “You’re still putting this on, Rosé.” You say lowly, lips grazing her temple. The way the words left your mouth, so matter-of-factly, made her bite her lip. You rarely told anyone what to do, so this role reversal was a bit unexpected. A welcome surprise, she thought, as she slipped the warm material over her shoulders.

~~~~

If someone offered you a million dollars to be anywhere else in the world right now, you would turn them down. You were sure that you had died and gone to Heaven, with how Rosé’s body fit perfectly up against yours and the distant skyline looked as though it had been stolen from a postcard.

Once the cart reached the top, the ride stopped for a short while, allowing you to get a picturesque view of the surrounding area. You grabbed the camera from your bag and snapped a few pictures, not wanting to forget this moment. A quiet wow left her mouth as she leaned over you, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. Has she never seen the lights like this? The untamed beating of your heart echoed wildly at the feeling of having her so close. You prayed she wouldn’t notice the tremble that ran through you as she placed her hand on your thigh, pushing herself up higher into the air for a better perspective. She must’ve noticed something in the distance, because soon she was pointing across the city and bouncing lightly in the seat. With some help, you located what she was so excited about: it was an inflatable cat. She had been that giddy over an inflatable animal on the porch of someone’s apartment. Such a dork, you muttered. She drew in a breath, feigning disbelief. “I am not!” She started, about to defend her honor, when she turned her head. In the excitement, the two of you had pressed closer together -- much closer than either of you had realized -- and now you were face to face. Your eyes darted down to her lips, and you almost threw caution to the wind and closed the distance. You didn’t, though, still missing the signs she was sending you. Her gaze raked across your features, and she grew bold; her hand came up to your cheek, her thumb soon brushing the soft skin. She was achingly close; you could feel the warmth radiating from her body, calling for you.

This cycle continued; both of you waiting for the other to make the first move, terrified that the other didn’t feel the same. It was a wicked game of cat and mouse, and you were finally getting the courage to end it. Just as you were about to lean in, the rickety ride started back up again with a groan, and she was jostled away from you, back into the seat.  

That had to be some sort of symbolism. 

The rest of your night went well, soon again filled with laughter and jokes, but the two of you couldn’t shake what happened. There was an air of something uncertain now, and only something significant was capable of putting an end to this cruel arrangement. 

Part 4: The Realization

“Shit!” You exclaim with a huff, realizing your mistake. “Rosie, do you have any extra film for the polaroid? I lost the last pack I had.” You mentally slap yourself for that one. When you don’t get a response, which is quite unusual for Rosé, you take that as a sign to go look for her. The two of you had chosen to work on the project at her house this time, and it was definitely more spacious than yours. “Rosie?” You call out to her again, checking the rooms as you pass them. Sniffling sounds perk up your ears, and you follow them to their source: the bathroom. “What happened, Rose?” She just sniffles again, letting out a defeated sigh. “It’s nothing, Y/N. I’m okay.” You shake your head, a pained look taking over your features. Knowing that she was hurting killed you. “I don’t believe you. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but at least let me cheer you up. Please?” You plead through the door, waiting rather impatiently for her response. Wordlessly, she gathers herself and opens it, choosing to lean against the frame and meet your concerned gaze. “It’s Joon. He’s being an ass.” You set your jaw and quickly bite your tongue, not wanting to upset her more. Her sweater is soaked and matted with tears, large stains polka-dotting the fluffy material.

Who’s Joon, you may ask? Rosé’s boyfriend and star of the football team… aka your arch nemesis. The two of you typically avoided talking about him, and dating in general. As far as you were concerned, he wasn’t deserving of the attention. A muffled sob pulls you from your stewing session, and you’re quick to step forward and wipe away her tears. You cup her cheeks, softening at the way she leans into your embrace. It’s not hard to tell that she doesn’t get the love that she deserves. “You’re too good for him, Rose. He’s never deserved you.” You say softly, tired of seeing her being mistreated. One instance of this was more than enough, and knowing that this isn’t the first time that he’s been the reason for her tears makes your blood boil. You pull her in, and she rests her head against your chest. If circumstances were different, you would’ve been terrified to have her so close; however, that’s not at the forefront of your mind right now. You’re determined to be there for her, even if it’ll never be in the way you want. “You should be with someone who values you. You can do so much better.” You whisper against her temple -- just loud enough for her to hear -- lips in the same position as they were that night at the fair. It comes out as a gentle confession, but you say it like the simple fact it is. 

After a few more moments of holding her close, her sweet vanilla perfume in the air, she shifts in your arms. Her eyes find yours, and the moment seems as though it was plucked out of some cheesy, coming of age movie. Something within both of you clicks at that point, and you just know. Her slightly puffy features look especially adorable right now, her eyes sparkling. That always seemed like such a strange, poetic thing to you -- how some people can manage to look so stunning after crying. It’s as though she needed that, in some twisted way. It opened her eyes to the situation she was in, although it hurt. She knew she could get through anything, though, with you by her side. And standing there, wrapped in your warmth, she really couldn’t find it in herself to even think of Joon. 

Your eyes fell to her lips, and she didn’t fail to notice. God, those lips. You thought, remembering all of the times you’ve wanted to kiss her. She somehow managed to be utterly perfect without even trying. Your heart rate sped up at the feeling of her hands working their way down to your waist, gripping your hips tightly. The atmosphere shifted, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. “Y/N…” she says lowly, almost as if she’s trying to keep herself from doing something stupid. “Hmm?” You drag out, causing her to bite her lip in return. Just as the two of you lean in ever closer, the sounds of keys jangling downstairs interrupts your moment. Feeling brave, and not wanting that encounter to pass with nothing to show for it, you give her a sweet kiss on the cheek. You chuckle lightly at the whine that leaves her lips, and take a minute to gather yourself before leading the way downstairs to greet her parents. 

----

Over the next few days, neither of you mention all that’s happened. You want to, but you have no idea how; your nerves would surely get the best of you. And what if she didn’t feel the same? How embarrassing would that be? You wanted nothing more than to have that Hallmark, fairytale ending with her, but you knew that was unrealistic. So, you did what you do best; you continued falling for her from afar, attempting to settle into this routine.  

Little did you know that she hadn’t stopped thinking about it. She often found herself stroking her cheek, where your hand had been that night. If she focused hard enough, she could almost remember the smell of your tropical shampoo, too. Her feelings confused her, but she knew what she wanted. Her fear of rejection outweighed her courage, though, and she never knew how to tell you that she had fallen for you. 

Part 5: An Overheard Conversation

As you made your way through the halls and towards the library, your mind wandered to a place it often frequented: Rosé. You had been so caught up in other things that you hadn’t really registered that the project would be over soon. It saddened you to think about, but maybe it was for the best. Perhaps a little distance between the two of you would make it easier to ignore your feelings. Turning the corner, you collided with someone, sending their books into the floor. “I’m so sorry!” You apologize quickly, making sure they’re alright, before helping them gather their things. They do the same, and continue on their way as you readjust your clothes.

At the sound of that achingly familiar voice, you freeze.

“I broke up with him, Jennie.”

That’s all it took for you to press yourself up against the wall, set on listening in on the conversation without getting caught. Part of you felt bad for doing that, but there was no way you were leaving now.

“Good, he never deserved you anyway.” The other girl, Jennie, said, and you made a mental note to give her a high five later on. 

“He took me for granted. I’m just upset it took me so long to realize it.”

“Hey, don’t do that. You remembered your worth and didn’t let that jackass hurt you anymore. That’s queen status, if you ask me.” Make that a double high five.

The sounds of her locker being closed lead you to believe that the girls are about to walk away and end the conversation, but you soon stop dead in your tracks, yet again.

“There’s another reason that I ended things, though, and I’ve been meaning to tell you about it.” 

“Ooh, do tell.”

Rosé clears her throat, and quickly checks to make sure the coast is clear before speaking again. Thank God she didn’t notice your presence. 

“I’ve liked this person for a really long time, Jennie.” She confesses, before continuing. “They’re always there for me when I need them… and don’t even get me started on how adorable they are.”

Jennie chuckles at Rosé’s words, and you can see her shake her head. “What??” Rosé asks, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“You’ve got it bad. I’ve never seen you blush like that at just the thought of someone. And that’s saying something.”

Rosé hides her face in her hands, embarrassed but amused. “She’s just so incredible.”

Your heart stops, blood running cold in your veins, and your hand shoots up to cover your mouth. Does Jennie know she likes girls? SHE LIKES GIRLS?? I mean, you had thought so after that night but she’d never admitted it before.

“She?” Jennie asks gently, not even a trace of judgement in her tone. A little surprise, sure, but nothing bad. Rosé simply takes a deep breath and nods her head, waiting for her best friend’s reaction to her slip up. It’s not that she thought she would be unaccepting, just that these kinds of things were a little bit of a shock to hear sometimes.

“Well, who is she? I’ll have to do some snooping on your next potential love interest.”

Rosé lets out a giggle, and you almost blow your cover by laughing with her.

“You won’t be getting that information out of me yet, Jennie. No way.” She says, taking the other girl’s hand and leading her down the hallway, away from you. 

Once alone again, you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. Could you be that girl?

Part 6: Presentation Day

As you make your way to your seat, you let out a tired yawn; you had stayed up late adding some last minute touches to your presentation. You wanted it to be a surprise for Rosé, so you hadn’t told her about what you had done. Hopefully she would enjoy it.

The other groups each took turns showcasing their projects and explaining what the prompt had meant to them. Some said “money”, “luxury”, “time”, etc. Your answer was a bit different than theirs, and you were excited to share it with everyone.

Once it was your turn to present, you made your way up to the front of the room, selecting the correct files and connecting your device with the projector. Rosé could sense that you were anxious, which wasn’t new for you; school presentations had always made you nervous. Silently, she took your hand within her own and rubbed her thumb across your knuckles. None of the class was paying much attention yet, since you were still technically getting set up, and you were beyond thankful for that intimate moment with her. 

A short time later, you begin. 

Rosé expertly introduces the different topics you chose to cover with the prompt, explaining their meaning with sincerity. Images of old couples smiling, holding one another close, graced the screen when she brought up “growing old together” as a finer thing in life. “Not everyone gets the opportunity to do that with who they love,” she said, and you noticed that her eyes went to you when she said that. Maybe you just imagined that last part, you thought to yourself. Surely so. 

Other slides of animals, pets, and nature appeared as she continued her speech, followed by her suggestion that “the act of loving and preserving Earth and its creatures” is another finer thing in life. 

This process continued, with you jumping in for the slides that you had chosen to take over for. 

Upon hearing Rosé finish her last stretch of rehearsed dialogue, you look to your teacher, who gives you a subtle nod and smile. Rosé shoots you a confused look, but you don’t answer her with words. You move a nearby chair to face the board before bringing her to it. She sits, even more confused now, but trusting you. 

You swallow nervously, and lick your lips. “Over these past couple months, Rosé and I shared new experiences,” with a click of the remote, images of your adventures flood the screen -- your trips to the lake, forest, park, and even the beach, capture the attention of the class. Rosé was right there with them, considering she had never seen some of these pictures, let alone expected you to present them. “We tried new foods, left our comfort zone, and learned more about each other.” More images popped up; some from when you went on a tour of the different restaurants around town, some from bungee jumping, cave exploring, and open water fishing. 

“But as we grew closer, I realized more about myself in the process. I’m totally, utterly, and undeniably in love with you, Rosé.” The next set of candid images shows a new glint in your eyes when you look at each other; this was when you had really gotten in deep. You shyly raise your eyes to hers, your stomach in knots. Tears are quickly forming in her eyes, and she’s covering her mouth to quiet herself. “You make me happier than I’ve ever been, and life feels better with you. You are my finer thing in life.” Despite all of the emotions she’s feeling right now, she smiles at the dorky pictures of the two of you doing random things during your shared escapades. 

Finally, you click to the last slide, revealing a series of pictures of you spelling out, “Be mine?” 

This was the final straw; tears finally make their way down her face, spilling onto her soft cheeks. You nod at Mrs. Johnson the same way she had done before, and she swiftly bends down to grab something beneath her desk. When she returns, she hands you a single red rose. “OMG! A rose for Rosé, how cute!” One of your classmates yells from the back of the room, and you laugh aloud. That broke the tension, and soon all of you were giggling loudly together. “Well, whaddya say?” You ask, holding out the rose to her in offering. Wordlessly, she takes the flower and wraps her arms around your neck, connecting your lips in a long overdue kiss. The class erupts at this and she smiles against you. 

“Mission accomplished.” Mrs. Johnson says to herself, once everyone is settled back in their seats and chatting about what happened. “I was hoping that would work out.” Confused, you decide to inquire. Reluctantly taking your eyes off of Rosé, you look to your teacher and ask, “Did you plan this from the beginning?” She gives you a curious look before scoffing, “I’m practically a matchmaker, Y/N. I saw the way the two of you looked at each other. It would’ve been a crime not to pair you up.”

Your mouth hangs agape as you look back to Rosé, finding her donning a similar expression. “I was tricked into the plan!” You realize, laughing with her. “It was destiny, then.” She says, pulling you in by your collar for yet another kiss, loving the feeling of your blushing cheeks against her own.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Thanks for reading!!!

#rosé x reader #rosé #blackpink #k-pop #k-pop blackpink #rosé blackpink #rosé x fem reader #chaeyoung #park chaeyoung #roseanne #kpop girl group #jennie #let-them-read-fics #blackpink oneshot #blackpink imagine #rosé imagine

[mm2305]

Hi Mil!!

I thought those Meet Cute asks were so much fun!! I am glad you did too!! If you have time I would like to request #35 for Ethan and Olivia.

Thank you!!

-Kate

Please drive!

Pairing : Ethan Ramsey x f!mc (Olivia Valentine) ¦¦ Words/Rating : 1.4k / T ¦¦ Warnings : mention of aggressive dogs ¦¦ Setting : Alternate Universe ¦¦

Prompt : They jump into your car breathless and tell you to keep driving

A/N : Hello!! I'm sorry this took so long but it's here now and I really hope you like this Kate! I certainly had lots of fun with this. Request from the meet cute prompt list (requests still open). Happy reading!

Disclaimer : all characters belong to the rightful owners. Also the Thomas Mendez headcanon here is by @jamespotterthefirst

Masterlist

-/-

It was a warm, sunny afternoon, the sun high upon the sky, the air unusually filled with humidity. A dreadful combination, for sure. The street was mostly empty, the sight of another soul, rare during this time that the heat was at its fullest. Most people would be sensible enough to not go out at 103°F, but as much as he needed to be one of those people, Ethan was on borrowed time that day.

Being an intern at a hospital was probably the hardest - and let's be honest, shittiest- situation you could be in, right? The answer is a big fat no. At least that's what Ethan Ramsey, a doctor who at just his second year as an attending was at the top of his game and highly successful, would say. Why? Because someone has to deal with the interns and that brave soul has to deal with a lot. He speaks from experience.

Hence why this was the only moment he could slip in his schedule to take a break and get some decent coffee. His best friend Tobias, had suggested he go to the new place in the suburbs to get his caffeine fix. Of course, Ethan didn't believe him at first. A coffee shop in the suburbs? Sounds like one of Tobias' usual pranks. Still, his curiosity won and he drove all the way to the suburbs in search of the infamous coffee shop.

He would die before he admitted that Tobias was right, but that was some pretty good coffee. Content and somewhat more ready to go back, he began walking to his car. He could hear some barking in the distance, but that was to be expected. All those rich people around here sure would keep a dog or two. "Well maybe I should adopt the pup Thomas stole. I could use the company of someone not constantly talking" , he thought to himself as he unlocked the car.

Ethan quickly got in and immediately turned on the air conditioning. He sinked into his leather seat and closed his eyes for a minute, finding some relief from the unbearable heat. Suddenly he heard the door of the car open and close along with some very loud barking and he instinctively jumped in his seat, turning to look at the person who jumped in his car.

He didn't even get to utter a word before the woman turned to look at him with pleading eyes.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry for barging in but please please drive ! I'll explain everything I promise!"

Not even thinking about it, he started driving, while keeping an eye on the woman next to him, who was breathing heavily and looking out of the mirrors. It was then that he saw six big dogs running after his car and all that barking he had heard started making sense.

The dogs stopped following them after a few more minutes, their endurance making them seem understandably terrifying. Only then did she relax and take a deep breath.

"Thank you so much for this. I'm so sorry for jumping into your car.", she thanked him with a small smile.

"Uh… it's no problem. Glad I could help."

"I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Olivia Valentine, nice to meet you.", Olivia extended her hand towards him in a handshake.

Turning his eyes on her he briefly shook her hand. "Ethan Ramsey, it's…certainly interesting to meet you"

She laughed slightly at that, shaking her head and looking out of the window.

Ethan couldn't help but really notice how attractive she was. Her hair was gold blonde and tied back into a high ponytail, shaped in loose curls. Her eyes were big and green and her skin was spotless. Olivia wasn't wearing much makeup but what really stood out was her plump, bright red lips, perfectly contrasting with her fair skin. She was dressed in a simple, professional, dark blue , form-fitting dress with black high heels that accentuated her long legs. She was wearing a silver, elegant wrist watch and in her lap rested a black briefcase.

"Would it be okay if I asked what just happened to you, Miss Valentine?", the urge to solve mysteries whether it was regarding medicine or this beautiful woman, propelled him towards asking her this question. Besides she just came out of nowhere, I have a right I ask her. Right?

"Please call me Olivia."

"Only if you call me Ethan"

She grinned and nodded. "Deal"

"So, Ethan , I am a real estate agent. I had an appointment with a client to show him a villa that was for sale but I had been waiting outside the house for thirty minutes and he hadn't shown up. And of course, he didn't even call to let me know that he wouldn't come, instead of letting me roast in the sun. Anyways, I decided to leave and I walked a couple of blocks down the street in hopes of getting a cab. You can guess how well that went in this time and area, so I called a colleague to come pick me up. I was waiting for her to come, when two of these huge ass dogs escaped their homes, thinking I was an intruder just because I passed by and began coming closer, teeth bared and all. Since I am so lucky today, somehow more dogs gathered so I panicked and ran. They started chasing me… and then Olivia met Ethan", she finished her story with a dry chuckle.

Ethan was left speechless. His surprise must have been written all across his face because next thing he knew she was bursting into laughter.

"I'm-I'm sorry… it's just--that you should see your face", she said in between laughing.

"I mean. Wow. And all because of that jerk of a client."

"Definitely a jerk and not only because of that. He's a plastic surgeon and he's all about how successful he is or some shit. "I'm Dr. Thorne and I'm one of the leading plastic surgeons in Massachusetts." As if I give a damn. ", she rolled her eyes hard.

"Dr. Thorne you said? Ugh he's one of the worst of his kind"

"You know him?!"

"Yeah unfortunately. He works in Edenbrook, as do I. I'm a doctor."

"Ohh interesting! Let me guess. Internal medicine?"

"Actually… yes. How did you guess?", he turned to give her a surprised look.

"You previously said of his kind. I know enough about doctors that one working in internal medicine isn't particularly…fond of surgeons. Am I right?", she asked giddily.

Ethan chucked at that. "Yes, you are. Mostly at least"

"Nailed it."

Valentine. Where had he heard that name though…?

"You work in the big firm downtown don't you?" , he stated rather than asked after a moment of silence.

"I was wondering when you would figure it out Dr. Ramsey.", Olivia teased him, smirking.

"I am a diagnostician Ms. Valentine. I notice things. And your firm is difficult to miss"

"Technically not mine. My father owns the business."

"So it's safe to assume, your mother is the doctor?"

"Bravo, Doctor. Yes indeed. She works at Mass Kenmore."

"I see… So. Want me to give you a lift? We're already in the car and your work is on my way.", he raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Sure! Thanks Ethan", she replied, grinning widely.

They spent the rest of the way comfortably talking to each other, both genuinely enjoying each other's company. For someone who was so talkative and gregarious, Ethan found himself interested in anything Olivia had to say. She was smart and confident, but in the most charming way possible. At last they reached the firm and Ethan pulled over.

Both turned to look at each other and started talking simultaneously

"Olivia--"

"I --"

"Ladies first.", he motioned for her to say what she wanted.

"Right. Thank you once again Ethan, both for the save and the ride. It was really nice to meet you.", her hand reached and squeezed his arm.

"You're very welcome, Olivia. I uh… wanted to ask…only if you want to of course… can I have your number?". He was quite visibly stuttering, but he tried to hide it behind a cough.

Olivia looked him in the eyes, clearly seeing through him and smiled. "Yeah, absolutely. Can I have yours too?"

He smiled back at her. "Yes of course"

They exchanged cards and after saying goodbye, Olivia got out of the car and walked back into the office. Just as she sat down at her desk she received a text message.

Ethan : Meet me this Saturday at 8, in "Gaston's Bistro"?

Olivia : I'll be there :)

Ethan : Perfect :D

She put her phone away and got down to work, smiling all the way, already excited for her date this weekend.

-/-

A/N : Of you made it till here, then thank you for reading! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated :)

Taglist :

Perma (all OH edits and fics) : @romewritingshop @codykosuckmytoe @sophxwithers @actuallybored @potionsprefect @ethansramsey @crystalwillow @gryffindordaughterofathena @kiara-36 @mrsethanfreakingramsey @writer-ish @panda9584 @genevievemd @jamespotterthefirst @queencarb @shanzay44 @nikki-2406 @starryeyedrookie @coffeeheartaddict @schnitzelbutterfingers @mysticaurathings @starrystarrytrouble @lsvdw-blog @izzyourresidentlawyer @silma-words @stygianflood @headoverheelsforramsey @maurine07 @natureblooms24 @a-crepusculo @barbean @choicesaddict5

Fics only : @alina-yol-ramsey

+ @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Please let me know if you want to be moved to another category or totally removed. No hard feelings promise.

#open heart #ethan ramsey #choices open heart #ethan ramsey x mc #choices stories you play #choices #open heart mc #open heart fanfiction #open heart au #ethan jonah ramsey x mc #dr ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan jonah ramsey #ethan ramsey fanfiction #dr ethan x mc #ethan x f!mc fanfic #ethan x olivia #oph au #oph #fics of the week #Mil writes #cfwc

[myonmukyuu]

A setting where Ayumu is in love with Yu, and Setsuna cheers her on.

Previous | Series Masterpost | Bonus (TBA)

**

The fourth main update to my series has finally arrived! Your food is here, SetsuAyu nation! Sorry for the huge delay guys, I know it’s been 2 months since the last update 😅 . I’m done with university for the year though! So I have more time to draw 🥰

First things first - a disclaimer from me:

This story is written with the context of the SIFAS story - which is fairly different to the anime. Ayumu’s motivations are a lot more self-driven in the anime, but in the game she does kind of just agree because Yu needed members to keep the club together (she does come to love the whole idol thing though).

I do make anime references! But they’re just that - references. So just keep in mind I use the SIFAS story as my general guide.

In this comic I wanted to kind of explore Ayumu’s motivations as an idol and compare it with Setsuna’s. Like I said, it does kind of clash with the anime, but Ayumu’s motivations were one of the main things that spurred this entire series in the first place. Putting aside her own hobbies and joining the idol club for her...Ayumu really does love Yu a lot doesn’t she?

I also wanted to show the current state of SetsuAyu’s relationship in this series - how they would support and reassure eachother. Alongside this, the shifting feelings of both SetsuAyu regarding the things that they want. Hopefully I was able to communicate those feelings. 🥰

That being said, this comic was a full-on marathon! 14 pages - the longest of any comic I’ve done yet. The last comic was half the size! It really tested my discipline and stamina. Ever since starting work on the comic, I didn’t skip out a single day 💪💪

Past me is such a fool though. Look it her talking about the third update - “9 pages was too much. I’m happy to do a 7 page comic” - little did she know that she’d limit break again and make a 14-pager😂😂

In case you’re curious, the final timeline for the production of this comic was:

Draft: 7 days

Lines: 9 days

Colours: 9 days

Finalising: 3 days

For a total of 28 days! Phew, I’m exhausted. On weekdays I typically spent 2-5 hours and on weekends easily 4-9 💪 ! As I said, it really pushed both my stamina and my discipline. It feels so great to finally be done!

I’m really happy with how this update turned out by the way. It’s like with every update I do, I always feel like I’m improving with my art skill. Each update is like a step up from the last! Every comic I do feels like a learning experience and I hope that I’ll continue to improve 💖 

I’m really proud of a few pages, so I’ll post them up in another post without the bubbles to show them off 💖 💖.

Again, past me is a fool.

I was like “#3 was way too complex! I’m not doing that level of colouring again!” before one-upping it with this update 😂 😂 . It turns out that I really like toying with lighting. It’s so fun... #5 will take place at sunset so I’m excited for that too 💖 . I’ll have to do a lot of research for it!

I hope you guys enjoyed this update - I really did put a lot of effort into it. I wish I could stream more or show more WIPs but I really wanted to keep all the best things about this comic secret so it could surprise everyone! Admittedly whenever I stream/show WIPs I always pick the more boring looking panels just because I want to hide the cool ones. Sorry if that means that my streams end up less interesting 😂.

On another note, I’m thinking of recruiting a typesetting editor. I’d still like to do basically everything myself, but I recognise that there’s a lot of things that I have no clue about. I really don’t know much about typesetting, so having a critical eye would really ease the weight on my shoulders. I feel like I spend way too much time agonising over how to wrap text... Well, we’ll see how I go moving forward.

Anyways, thank you for reading! And if you’ve been keeping up with this series then I doubly thank you!! I put a lot of heart into this, so the idea of people actually being invested always makes me smile so much (and cry a little).

Expect a bonus coming up within a week! I’ve been excited to draw this one for a while! Though maybe it might be longer than that. I’ve been considering writing up a post about my comic-making process in case people were interested. If I do decide to go through with that, expect the bonus to be a little delayed 💖 .

As for what’s actually in the bonus... well let’s just say this image is in my notes about it:

#love live #setsuayu #setsuna yuki #ayumu uehara #yu takasaki #nijigasaki school idol club #my art #very long artist comments in this one LOL

[syubub]

BTS S/O WEARING THEIR CLOTHES

This is a cute as fuck idea!!

*Disclaimer: this is not to be taken as fact and is only my interpretation of the cards. Entertainment only people*

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Seokjin

Death and 2 of swords rev.

The first thing I thought of was Jinnie closing his eyes and walking away

He'd be shy af and he'd have a hard time keeping his blush down

This man would literally die a little inside

His brain would legit short circuit and he'd probably be a stuttering mess tbh

Its not that he doesn't like his s.o wearing his clothes, its that he likes it... a lot...

I do also see the act of sharing clothes to be a kinda step forward in the relationship though?

Like, this is a moment of change within a relationship for him where he's like, "I'd share everything with this person" and thats a big sign of commitment

He might have a little identity crisis but its all good though

It would be a slow progression too. I pulled chariot rev.

I feel like he also could be the, "I don't control the weather" type when it comes to sharing coats but he is a gentleman so he'd probably give his s.o his jacket if it was actually necessary

He would definitely tease them the whole time though

"I gave you my jacket that one time" "dude, that was over 6 months ago"

Overall, as things are with Jin, it holds more meaning to him than it seems and he'd play shit off with humor

Yoongi

3 of wands, judgment and high priestess

First off, domestic af

It almost seems like seeing his s.o in his clothes makes them seem more tangible and real?

This boy has a whole new wave of love and affection for his s.o when they wear his clothes

He's reminded of how greatful he is to have someone beside him

He'd also lowkey dip off to write some bomb ass lyrics because his s.o in HIS clothes? Damn. That's some muse shit.

He'd also probably start buying clothes with his s.o in mind like, "okay, I know they're gonna steal them anyway so I should probably make sure that the quality is nice"

Idk why but this is a whole ass spiritual experience for him

It's also give and take? So I pulled the lovers as a clarity card and idk but it gives me the vibe that him and his s.o share clothes equally? Things like house clothes and comfort clothes? Like if he's in a shitty mood then he finds his s.o's hoodie to wear?

Its just another level of intimacy to him that he finds comfort in

He just loves his s.o and doing mundane stupid shit like sharing Walmart sweatpants is something that he holds in high regard?

This is so soft?

(Also this was important but I bet he's a fan of matching house slippers? ((Probably matching underwear too?? I was told to make a note of it. TMI)))

Hoseok

I got the emperor, 7 of wands and 6 of pentacles

Daddy

What? Sorry.

Hobi legit feels powerful af seeing his s.o in his clothes

Definitely sneaks some little looks

Idk why but hobi definitely has that sexual tension energy here?

All I'm gonna say is that he probably has some dirty thoughts

He also loves it

The emperor card is intresting too because it makes him feel strong and nice and needed

Bold as fuck tbh

HOBI KEEP IT PG 13 PLS

Theres really not much more to say other that hobi is one thirsty motherfucker

He specifically has a thing for his s.o wearing his shirts

Namjoon

7 of pentacles rev, 3 of wands rev, 6 of cups rev.

Joonie...

Nothing sexual at all firstly

Second, he's ready to throw everything away and just spend the whole day cuddling his s.o

It almost makes him kinda sad? Not in a bad way but I think it sends him into a think spiral

It also seems like he sees it as such a comfy thing and its times like this that he sees his s.o a little clearer?

He thinks about how he and his s.o fit together and whether or not he's done enough to deserve his s.o

Besides the spiral, he likes it a lot.

Its something cozy and lovely and wouldn't mind (so long as it doesn't happen all of the time)

Probably makes him want to cuddle his s.o even more than usual

Jimin

The sun, two of cups, the chariot

CUTE

Chim would definitely LOVE IT

It's bonding, it's cute, its love

Jimin loves to give gifts and is the MOST selfless person on the fucking planet and would definitely give the shirt off his back for his s.o

He might even push for it too?

Never in a way to make his s.o uncomfy but kinda like, "why don't you wear my hoodie?"

Definitely a boost in his confidence towards the relationship.

He definitely thinks that his s.o is extra stunning in his clothes for sure

Also would kinda wanna show it off that his s.o was wearing his clothes

I think in aweird way to him its a way of "claiming" his s.o

Again, not in a gross, overly possessive way but in a, "I have the best person in the universe wearing MY clothes because they love me" kinda way

Its that constant reaffirming action that he loves

Cute

Taehyung

Death rev, hanged man, 10 of pentacles and 8 of cups

Not the most fond tbh

He'll let it slide sometimes but it just seems like he isn't much into it?

For some reason it might just bring up not welcomed feelings

I'm really not sure

It could be an issue with boundaries perhaps or something of the sort but hes not really intrested.

He might give his s.o an old pair of sweatpants or a well loved hoodie or stuff like that but not really active sharing if that makes sense

It might also be that he buys so many things for his s.o and to have his s.o "steal" his stuff kinda feels like a slap in the face?

Might make him feel like his s.o thinks he isn't doing enough

This could all be potentially cleared up with thorough communication though so if they can get through that barrier then I think he'd be a little more open to it

(His s.o wearing his clothes after doing....the dirty deed.... is 100% okay though ((stop making me make this dirty)))

Jungkook

Queen of cups, the moon, 10 of swords

Lol the first thing that came to me was that he washes his clothes everything his s.o wears them

He definitely has a thing about it

Its not bad though but its something he really has to get used to?

Bby is sensitive and if his s.o wears any kind of smells he's extra picky

Its intresting bc I think inviting an s.o into his life means that he has to change a lot of things in his life to accommodate and he's... working on it.

Also he might faint if he sees his s.o in one of his t-shirts.

Thats a bit dramatic don't you think?

At first with the 10 of swords I was like, "wow he must be really put out by this" and then my guide showed me something like this

So it was a very dramatic koo not a sad koo.

He'd also feel more protective over his s.o and just really in his feels?

It never gets old for him to see his s.o in his clothes

(Theres also part of me that thinks that he would be 100% down to swap styles/wardrobes for a day)

#bts #bts tarot #bts reactions #bts imagines #kim seokjin #jin #min suga #bts suga #yoongi #hoseok #jhope #namjoon #rm bts #jimin #jungkook #taehyung #bts v #seokjin #bts rm