#i wrote way too much and am about to do wash day then play a game for a few hours <3

[adaezeabara]

𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄: 𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐄𝐙𝐄 '𝐀.𝐃.' 𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐘𝐀 𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐀.

PINTEREST ● PLAYLIST

INSPO: Margo Hanson (The Magicians), Callie Adams-Foster (Good Trouble), Arya Stark (GOT), Mia Thermopolious (Princess Diaries), Kate Sharma (Bridgerton)

NICKNAME: A.D., Ada if you’re being affectionate (make sure you’re allowed to be), Day, Triple A if she’s helping you out.

PRONOUNS & GENDER: She/Her & Ciswoman/Questioning

SEXUALITY: Bisexual Biromantic

BIRTHDAY: April 1st, 1994. Aries Sun / Aquarius Moon / Virgo Rising.

OCCUPATION: Manager at Galaxy Gardens and bregrudging Delivery Driver.

BIRTHPLACE: Seattle, Washington

POSITIVE: loyal, self-assured, generous

NEGATIVE: temperamental, dramatic, captious

tw: dementia

"You're father is always there when it counts. He'll be at your wedding, he was at your birth but hopefully he'll never be at your funeral. But he'd show up!"

For a girl who wanted for nothing, she sure did want her father. A Nigerian diplomat who never stayed around for too long, Alisa Vinogradova assured her daughter that it wasn't that big of a deal. It was from a young age that Adaeze, called Ada by family, realized that things would go into two boxes: a big fucking deal or nothing to bat an eyelash at. At least, in her family. Alisa assured her that anything she wanted as a child she could get -- their cup runneth over literally being the daughter of a marriage between the heiress of a global wine fortune and a tech mogul. Her mother was one of their many children with too easy going of a personality to do anything more ambitious than eat, pray & love. There was always a trip afoot in the Vinogradova household making an otherwise sheltered Ada extremely aware of the world around her. It may have been through a lense that was majorly lavish but it meant that her perspective was a little broader compared to her preppy classmates.

Plus, when Ada started school -- her name was obviously different. It was a name both of her parents had agreed on and decided, it was easy enough for others to pronounce yet they still liked to butcher it. By middle school, various nicknames popped up and though Ada was an extremely popular one -- A.D. is what she preferred if the person wasn't going to call her Adaeze. While she loved her name, A.D. had always been very blunt and easily annoyed with people's ignorances. At fancy dinners & galas, she wouldn't be the most sociable if she wasn't feeling it and in school she picked and chose how and when she would participate. English, history, ANY art classes? They loved her. Math and science? They were annoyed she didn't apply herself. But what could Adaeze do? At the end of the day, she was her mother's daughter more than she ever was her fathers.

Where Ada did soften though was Starlight Oaks. Her grandparents would spend substantial time on their property on the cove and while her mother was untethered to her childhood home often going on trips and staying months in various countries, Ada had a room decorated at their house and went to a Private primary school until she was accepted into an Liberal Arts Boarding school in 7th grade. Was A.D. particularly driven to make her name in the arts as her calling? Not really. Did she have a valuable perspective to show that demanded self-expression? Not to her. But she had always excelled in every art class or hobby that had been thrown at her. Whether it was music, fine arts, visual arts -- she could dabble. When visiting the multitude of cousins she had, they'd always joke that they knew Ada was in town because there'd always be pictures of various art museums shared at family gatherings.

For a short time her father, Chidi, attempted to be in her life properly. For a semester, she was a dayboarder -- her mother even attempted to stay in one place for 6 months. Her room was barely decorated when it all fell apart and though A.D.'s grades had never been better -- something within her started to turn sour. Once inquisitive, she became sarcastic and combative. Her curiosity had an edge of judgement, once more introverted, she started to engage with the world as if it were her punching bag, her stomping ground, her personal oyster. She was known in school, for better or for worse.

If she could have anything she wanted --- why not her father's presence ? His love? His attention? No matter what she did -- his calls never came at the right time. They'd exchange messages about music, he'd send her records that he'd find on his travels. But it wasn't enough. Though so many of her friends families operated similarly, A.D. would prod and question the few friends she had with normal familial situations. Conclusion? It was possible, to have a father stick around, even if not for her. At the end of the day, she didn't feel like she was asking for much. Alisa may have been a jetsetter not bound by location alone but she would drop it all at the drop of a hat for her daughter if she asked. After graduation, A.D. never had to work but she did stay in school -- going to Parson's getting a dual degree (Design & Tech + Visual Studies). While New York was a fun playground, she spent her time doing exactly what her mother did after graduation -- traveling. Spending time with various family members, acquaintances, former peers and even a few high-profile names -- A.D. got to live a life.

When Chidi reached out to Adaeze wanting to have a relationship with her -- she jumped at the chance. There may have been years of resentment, anger, sadness and anguish even that had colored the last few decades but deep down she hadn't wanted for anything but this. At first, the idea of living with her grandparents seemed idyllic until being in a large house by herself seemed excessive. Though she loathed to admit it, it also seemed lonely. Never had she lived so alone in so much space, it's why she loved boarding school, why she lived in bigger bustling cities, why she stayed in school so long despite not having a real career path. While Starlight Oaks had been an idllyic place for her to live before, it had changed since the last time she had had roots there. Moving back to be closer to her family had been nice at first -- until her father claimed he forgot that he had even made the call to her. Not realizing what was going on, A.D. was angry, keeping distance between him and her even though they were in the same small town.

A.D. got her first 'real' job -- working at Galaxy Gardens dispensary. At first, she was only a Budtender and delivery driver but as she found a sort of novelty in the job she started to really dedicate her time to it. She was one of the few Budtenders that knew all the regulars as she had stuck around long enough to know the O.G.s --coworkers who had been there since day one. While at first got severely made fun of by her coworkers for not knowing how to do basic life things like taxes or how to properly clean a glass display container, she became one of the best coworkers to have, earning their respect. Eventually, she got promoted from Budtender to Shift Lead, then to Assistant Manager and in September-- Manager. Something she is proud of, an accomplishment she knows she has earned herself. Everything was 'normal' for a little while until it was revealed that her father was sick -- diagnosed with dementia. It was the reason he had reached out to her with no recollection of the conversations they had had about her relocating, but had had whole other families. A wound that A.D. had felt she would be able to heal had reopened, this time deeper and more painful than she had ever anticipated. HEADCANONS:

Runs that Dispensary like the Navy (Taylor’s Version). Her grandparents told her they’d like actually both support her / let her stay in their beach house but she’d have to get an actual job. Now, did they want her to work as a legal drug dealer? not really. her mother is over the moon and think it's hilarious, often defending her kid because they literally are a wino family. A.D. also kinda was like...well...i'm 27 and have NEVER had a job...embarazzzing....

Originally a bud tender then working her way to be manager. She’s kinda the best manager you could have and really makes sure to take care of her employees because she does realize she has a lot of privilege in how much she’s never had to worry about money but her coworkers/peers/etc MANY have had to so she picks up the slack. She'll feed them often, spoil them with employee samples, work shifts for them if she can/is able. If Lorelai Gilmore ran a dispensary tbh! gets a kick out of fighting upper management

No one else can afford proper car insurance and such so she ends up doing deliveries for customers atp and while she used to love driving around town doing it, she's just kinda tired of it LMAOOOO

Has an expensive fancy ass tattoos but especially for every place she’s ever visited, she has something thats kind of like stamps/postcards/something symbolic of that place. Started with the states in the US she went to when she was 16 and her grandparents/teachers were PRESSED but her and her mom/sibling had a cheeky giggle. alisa got a matching tatt with her for her 18th

Definition of knowing 6 languages so she can talk shit to you in each one of them

very fun fun nails. does not love wearing them SUPER long but like if the design calls for it....she'll suffer for her art!

colorful long coat collection!!! has a fun style tbh!!!

Arts yes, performing arts, no. I'll say it again, PERFORMING ARTS? no.

REALLY good at cooking breakfast…otherwise relies on her air fryer….she just has better things to do…you know…she CAN she just does NOT want to…speaking of household stuff...she's FINE at laundry...just don't let her do yours if you don't want something to shrink.

her mom is if like gwenyth paltrow mixed with drew barrymore and one of a lot of siblings. she’s kinda the youngest daughter in a very knives out energy giving family. so sure her mother loves her but ………..gg in getting direction from that woman! the only direction you're gonna get from her is which gate to board gg

what does a romantic relationship even really look like to her?? so many of her friends she grew up with have grand ambitions or grand families or grand spouses. the idea of having a house, family with children, staying in one place to raise kids is both terrifying and alien. though now she is here in this place about to turn 30.

is having a lowkey crisis about turning 30! will get over it but has to be dramatique about it first. kinda wants to throw a party for it....

captious is a fancy word for petty btw

in terms of her gender ...i kept writing cis-woman and it just didn't feel completely right but A.D. is struggling with coming to terms with understanding HER relation to being gender queer in any way. she just hasn't found a label that has exactly fit and knows that this is one of the least important things to figure out rn.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

RIVALS: The rival dispensary Lunar Leaf is an establishment that has been a THORN in A.D.'s side. Constantly poaching potential employees, constantly copying graphics that A.D. has made HERSELF. She's SICK! AND! TIRED!

someone who fucked her mom lol 

TRIP BUDDIES: Drug related and other! A.D. loves to adventure and explore, she definitely does hike a lot and loves to just be active in creative ways. You will NOT find her at the gym but you might find her swimming in that cold ass ocean!

EX-GF/PARTNER: all i need to say! need to write some gay shit! A.D. is not the best GF but she got MONEY... &lt;3

cousin: she got COUSINS....

sibling: also has a younger sibling !

#starlight.intro #i wrote way too much and am about to do wash day then play a game for a few hours <3 #will message ppl on discord to plot!! if you would like to be messaged pls like this and i will do so as well <3 #wanted connections at the bottom

[newtonsheffield]

Ok I’m a sap but poor baby uni student Anthony. That love at first sight or the literal fall have got him actually loco already. Iconic. I am here yet again begging for a snippet a crumb of happier times in these two’s future to sustain us through these angsty times. Peace and gratitude as per ✌🏼

Oh boy, imagine how excited Anthony would be to share the story of how they met with their children though.

He’d sit with Neddy on his chest, flat out on the sofa, nose to nose with his three week old son.

“Neddy boy, let Papa tell you a story. It’s the greatest love story that was ever told.”

“If it’s Wuthering Heights, I’ll scream.” Kate said from the floor beside him, watching them carefully as she folded washing.

Anthony scoffed, “Heathcliff and Cathy have absolutely nothing on us, thank you. Now, When Papa was young and virile-”

“Don’t say virile to our son”

“Me being virile is how he came to be. It’s pertinent.” Anthony plotted on, “Let me tell my story please, I’m an award winning author. I know how to tell a story.”

“Oh, by all means, proceed then master wordsmith.” Kate chuckled, running her hand over Neddy’s hair gently.

“Thank you for calling me a master wordsmith.” Anthony said quickly, kissing Neddy’s forehead before he continued. “When Papa was young, he was playing a game with Uncle Simon, he looked very cool doing it by the way. And while he was playing this game he ran into the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen in your life.”

“You trampled her is what you did.”

“There was minor trampling, Neddy, it’s true.” Anthony allowed, “And I fell in love with Amma right away but she didn’t care for poor old Papa. She thought he was an idiot, a fool, a buffoon.”

“I don’t think buffoon is fair, I had narrowly escaped with my life.”

“Semantics. Anyway, Papa waited and waited and they became best friends and finally Papa wrote a book to tell Mummy how much he loved her and finally she fell in love with him too.”

“I loved you much sooner than that.” Kate scoffed, Kissing Anthony’s cheek. “You know that.”

Anthony squinted one eye at her, “How soon would you say?”

Kate scrunched her face up at her husband, “We’ve had this conversation before, you really want me to tell you?”

“I always love to hear how irresistible I was to you.”

She flicked the end of his nose playfully, “I think I started falling in love with you that first night at that seedy pub not far from my dorm. You had written me a short story, because I made that crack about you being a bad writer and I… Well, I’m glad I was wrong. It was beautiful, and… you… had no reason to write that for me. You had no reason to have it in your bag that day and you slid it under my glass when I was at the bar and… I never would have said it at the time but I’m glad you ran into me that day. I’m glad I met you. Almost every thing good I have in my life is because of you and I love you.”

Anthony swallowed the lump in his throat. “We did make a great baby. I don’t think it’s any exaggeration to say he’s a genius.”

“Clearly not.”

#you never called it what it was #kathony #anthony x kate #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony bridgerton #molly’s asks and answers

[delcakoo]

nice to meet you, boyfriend!◞♡ ⃗ y.jw

۵ SUMMARY ! when a strange man approaches you at the grocery store, you call for your "boyfriend", who has just cluelessly entered the store, unaware of his new relationship status with you, a complete stranger. hopefully he plays along…

۵ PAIRING ! jungwon × gn!reader

۵ GENRE ! fake dating on the spot, fluff with shy wonnie

۵ WC ! 1.2k

۵ WARNINGS ! weirdo trying to get your number — he touches your hand

a/n: woops i wrote this thing super quickly last night while listening to old love by yuji <3 i should be working on requests but it was jungwon hours okay!! (when is it not tbh)

farmers must be smiling brilliantly by a glance at the view outside. heavy droplets of rain shower onto the concrete, washing away the tiny pieces of rubble deserted one by one.

but those little rocks weren’t the only soon-to-be deserted things if your damn umbrella didn’t open up; you knew you shouldn’t have made such an impulsive purchase at the dollar store — but the colorful design of the flexible plastic was much too charming to resist!

nonetheless, after a couple more pathetic attempts of you looking like a lunatic and smacking your umbrella against the ground, you eventually huff in surrender as you continue down the sidewalk, allowing the raindrops to attack you mercilessly.

all you wanted was to pick up some easy, reheatable dinner from the convenience store, you didn’t think you’d be getting a free shower along the way.

luckily, it wasn’t much longer before you made it to the small market, sighing in relief as the warmth enclosed you from the miserable weather outside. you nod politely in greeting to the employee behind the counter, shuffling your way further into the store to find yourself some ramen.

now, the hardest decision of all, what flavor to get? perhaps today is a roast beef day, yeah that sounds pretty good! or wait, soy sauce never fails either, but you couldn’t go wrong with just salt right—

“excuse me?”

you’re snapped out of your inner debate by the sound of a male’s voice from right next to you. flinching in surprise, you turn around to find a much older looking, tall man staring down at you. “oh, yes?” you reply awkwardly, looking around to see if you’ve missed something. “my bad, am i in the way?”

the stranger smirks, gazing down at you strangely as if you were a piece of meat. “no, actually i was just wondering if i could get your number?” he asks (well, it didn’t exactly seem like asking in the way he already began pulling out his phone in the middle of his sentence, as if there was no possibility of you denying him).

“uh,” you gulp, looking around the store nervously. “i’m sorry, do i know you?

for some reason, his simper grows at that, suddenly grabbing your hand in his free one. “no, but you can always get to know me, babe.”

yeah, absolutely not. you resist the urge to gag, now feeling more enticed to simply find an escape rather than get your ramen.

fortunately, the doorbell rings abruptly, alerting a new customer's entry and giving you the distraction needed to rip your hand away from the man’s unwanted grip.

a cat-like boy with fluffy, tangled hair walks in, his hands cutely stuffed into the pockets of his grey hoodie. each ear held a shiny white airpod, and his sweats and sneakers told you that just like you, he was probably just here to quickly grab something and be on his merry way, which only made you feel more guilty for what you were about to do.

“oh! actually, there’s my boyfriend,” you shout slightly, praying to every god that the boy’s headphones weren’t soundproof, and that he’d play along.

even at the mention of your ‘boyfriend’, the older man doesn’t back up at all, clearly untrustworthy of your statement as he stays grossly glued to your front.

your new boyfriend definitely didn’t hear you; it was easy to tell in the way he continued to nod his head slightly to his music, walking down the aisle, until for a split second, he met your desperate eyes. at your intense staring, his eyebrows furrow, looking between you and the man before cautiously taking out his airpods. “uh, hello?”

even his voice was cute, damn it. focus. “babe!” you watch worriedly as his eyes widen in surprise at the petname. shit, please play along.

“i’ve been waiting for you, i was just deciding on what ramen flavor we should get.” you hold your breath, both you and the man staring at him intensely.

it was silent for a moment. pleasepleasepleaseplease—

the boy unravels his hands from his pockets, confidently walking over to you and wrapping an arm around your waist. “oh, is that so? and who’s this?” he says, unimpressed as he studies the man up and down.

the man quickly backs up, raising his hands in surrender. “oh, my bad man, i was just—”

your new companion coughs as an interruption, suddenly pushing you back to stand in between you and the man. “trying to flirt with my partner? that’s nice, but i think we’ll be on our way now,” he announces nonchalantly, leading you along next to him as you make your grand escape.

the millisecond you’ve made it to a new aisle of the store, the boy releases you from his protective grip, shyly backing up and bowing instantly. “i’m so sorry, i hope it was okay i touched you i just wasn’t really sure what to do but i—i knew you needed help and—“

you walk up to him as he continues his rant, taking his larger hand in yours in hopes of getting him to calm down a bit. though it seems to have the opposite effect by the way he instantly freezes up, and you barely hold in a laugh at his dumbstruck expression and apple red cheeks.

just moments ago, this boy was standing up to a man much older and bigger than him with a confident hold on your waist; now here he was, refusing to even meet your eyes as he fidgets with his hoodie strings.

“it’s okay, i really appreciate it. what was your name?” you inquire with a tilt of your head.

“jungwon! it’s jungwon.”

“y/n,” you introduce, offering a hand out to him. “say, jungwon,“ he smiles shyly at the way his name flows out of your lips, a harsh dimple poking through his cheek. “wanna come have some ramen with me? y’know, to show my appreciation.” you aren’t quite sure where your sudden confidence came from, perhaps it was due to how timid the boy in front of you was.

jungwon’s head snaps up at your offer, and you coo at his small expression that truly resembles a surprised cat. “oh, sure! i actually came here to buy some anyway.”

that’s how you found yourself hand in hand with a boy you’d only met a few minutes ago, grocery bag slung over your arm while you share his airpods, humming along to music while walking back to your apartment.

“under the moonlight we made our first kiss, ‘cause this is the moment you made me feel like it’s the old love…

© delcakoo on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not rewrite, cross-post, translate, copy, etc.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @strawberry-sunset-skies @scented-morker @flyingpotatoes

#delcakoo #enhypen fics #enhypen fic #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagine #enhypen imagines #enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen drabble #enhypen blurbs #enhypen x reader #enhypen x gender neutral reader #enha fluff #jungwon imagine #jungwon x you #jungwon x y/n #jungwon scenarios #jungwon drabbles #jungwon fics #jungwon x reader #jungwon fluff #jungwon imagines #yang jungwon scenarios #yang jungwon fics #yang jungwon imagines #yang jungwon x y/n #yang jungwon #enha fics #jungwon fanfic

[honeybadgerwritings]

would you be willing to write a little blurb w/ steve and eddie x orally fixated! reader? mayb reader has a wicked oral fixation and is always just innocently chewing/sucking on the boys? like absentmindedly pulling one of their hands to their face and slipping a few fingers in their mouth? the boys were a bit confused at first but as long as reader doesn't bite too hard they don't care very much. steve will scold them if he hasn't washed his hands before they do it lol. oh oh and maybe eddie thinks its kinda nice if he's been playing guitar all day? like soft warm mouth on his sore fingertips could feel good mayb? 🤷‍♀️

You better stop it before I combust…. I have such a bad oral fixation and this has me weak at the knees <3 <3 <3

This became a lot longer than I thought it would so I’m not even sure it counts as a blurb anymore…. But I say it is one cause I wrote it

Also I know it’s like 8 hours late cause I added soooo much more to it and then promptly fell asleep…no I don’t want to talk about it 😂😭

——————

You’d always been prone to things like lip biting, thumb sucking, and chewing on the caps/erasers of every writing utensil you’ve ever owned. Sometimes it’d help you feel less anxious, and sometimes you’d do it just to do it. Steve and Eddie would know of this, having witnessed it countless times over the years that they’ve known you.

They’d have learned to offer you a pen or a straw to chew on when they’d see you becoming nervous. But the older you became, the less those things would seem to satisfy you.

So imagine their surprise when you began to fulfill your needs in a…well, different sort of way.

It’d start out slow, maybe you’d be sitting on Eddie’s lap, his hand intertwined with yours, and the next thing you’d know, the cuff of his flannel would be pulled up to your lips, and you’d be suckling on it.

The two of them would share a look. Not in a weird way, in more of a ‘well this is new’ sort of way. They wouldn’t comment on it though, letting you have your fun.

It’d continue like that for a week or two, you constantly gnawing on the cuffs of their sleeves or the drawstrings of their coats while they’d allow it to happen, no questions asked. It isn’t until one night when you’re all watching movies in Eddie’s trailer that you’d decide you need more. It wouldn’t even be a conscious decision either.

You’d be pressed up against Steve’s side, gnawing on the fabric of his sleeve as your tired eyes focus on the movie. And then slowly, you’d maneuver his hand, gently wrapping your lips around his middle and index fingers. You didn’t even really notice that you’d done it, but Steve would realize what was happening right away.

He’d look down at you, bewildered, then up at Eddie, whose sitting on the other side of you, completely engrossed in the movie. Steve would reach over you and flick him with his free hand, silently gesturing in a way that says, “What the fuck do I do?”

The metalhead would lean forward to get a better look at you, seeming surprised at first before his face melts into one of amusement.

“Whatcha doin’ there sweets?”

And you’d just shrug, droopy eyes finally falling shut as you suck on Steve’s fingers. Eddie would smile in complete adoration before glancing up at Steve.

“I am so not stopping this,” he’d tease, leaning closer to wrap his arm around both of you.

Steve would flip him off, before glancing back down at you, eyes softening and heart fluttering in his chest as you relax against him, just suckling on his fingers. He’d pull you impossibly closer to him, relishing in just how sweet this moment with the three of you is. It’s then that he’d start to think: “Maybe I could get used to this.”

It’d become a normal thing after that. You, absentmindedly grabbing their hands to suck/gnaw on their fingers whenever you need to, and them, letting you out of pure adoration for how cute you are when doing it.

Although sometimes Steve would be a total hardass about it.

“Hey! No no no, absolutely not!” Steve would scold, causing you and Eddie to snap your heads in his direction.

Eddie would’ve just gotten home from work at the auto shop, and you had reached out for his hand. He wouldn’t have really been paying much attention, letting you pull it towards yourself, until Steve had so rudely interrupted.

“Why notttt?” You’d whine, still holding the ringed fingers inches away from your lips. Steve would gesture incredulously at Eddie’s hands, causing the metalhead to look down at them.

“Oh shit,” he breathes, “Yeah…maybe not right now honey.”

They’re covered in grease and dirt from working all day, and to be honest, neither of you had noticed.

You’d pout, crossing your arms as he’d pull his hand away. He’d chuckle at you fondly,“No need to pout darlin’, I’m just gonna go clean up.” He’d lean down, placing a kiss to your cheek and mumbling, “I bet if you ask Stevie reaaalll nicely, he’ll let you suck his fingers,” before winking at the other boy and sauntering away, leaving just you and Steve on opposite ends of the couch.

Steve definitely would’ve heard Eddie’s words, but would choose to pretend not to, wanting to tease you a bit.

“Stevie?” You’d ask quietly.

He’d bite the inside of his cheek, keeping his focus straight ahead on the television in front of him. He’d know that you’re looking at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes to ever exist, and a smirk would form on his lips when you’d start to whine. However, his resolve wouldn’t last more than 30 seconds.

“Pretty please Stevie?” You’d pout, leg bouncing in anticipation, and he’d let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fine,” He’d look over at you in fake annoyance, before winking, “C’mere sweetheart.”

You’d giddily jump in his lap, curling up against him as he presses two of his fingers to your lips. You’d happily part them, closing your eyes as he presses the digits down lightly on your tongue.

“You’re needy, you know that?” He’d tease, and you’d just hum, already relaxing against his chest.

He’d never tell you, but he enjoys this almost as much as you do, if not just as much. You always look so pretty like this, relaxing in his arms while you suck on his fingers, and he loves nothing more than to take care of you.

He’d chuckle at you, resting his chin gently on top of your head, “Yeah yeah. My needy little baby.”

15 minutes later, Eddie would walk out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, to find the two of you just like that, asleep in each other’s arms.

While most of the time it’d be something you’d do out of your own free will, there would be a couple times where they’d even ask you to do it.

“Hey sweets?” You’d hear Eddie call throughout the trailer, humming in response, “Can you come here a minute?”

You’d skip into his room, where he’s hanging up his guitar. You’d been cleaning the trailer, listening to him practice for the last 2 hours or so, “What’s up Eds?”

He’d pat the spot next to him on the bed, a small smile spread across his pretty face, “Come sit.”

You’d oblige, watching him nervously as you do so. You wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from squeaking out a tiny, “I’m not in trouble am I?”

“No,” he’d chuckle, “No princess, you’re not in trouble. But I do need you to open up for me.” And you do without question, letting him slip his fingers into your mouth. “That’s it,” he’d praise you, “M’ fingers were starting to feel sore, and I just need your pretty little lips wrapped around them for a bit.”

You’d look up at him with wide bleary eyes, whimpering at the praise. He’d just coo at you, stroking your cheek with the thumb of his hand, and letting you curl up against his side, “Always feels so nice when you suck on them after I play baby.”

These are some of Eddie’s favorite moments with you, when the two of you would get to relax while he holds you in his arms. He’d feel you gently run your tongue along his fingers and sigh in relief.

“So good for me sweets.” He’d hum, and oh yeah, he would love this just as much as Steve does.

Sometimes though, you’d be so overwhelmed that you wouldn’t even know you’d need it, but that’s why you have your boys.

You’d gone with them to a Halloween party, sporting a cute little pirate outfit and feeling good about yourself. But two hours later, you’d be buzzed, lost in the crowd, and worst of all, you can’t find either of them.

You’d slowly but surely be pushing your way through everyone, mumbling choked out apologies as you try to find them. A group of juniors would cheer loudly next to you as one of them does a keg stand, and you’d whimper, covering your ears.

Once you finally push your way through the middle of the floor, it’s easy to spot Eddie, whose dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, standing over in the corner chatting with a few other people. You’d stumble over to him, whimpering out a small, “Eds…” and tugging lightly on the hem of his tank top until he turns around.

He’d be excited to see you, “Hi baby! We were wondering where you went! I just sent Steve out to find you and-” It’s then that he’d register your teary eyes and the way you’re gnawing your bottom lip raw, and he’d bend down to your level, “Woah woah woah, honey what happened?”

You wouldn’t even have a direct answer, first you’d gotten a little lost when going to get another drink, and then it was too loud, too crowded, and you had no idea where anyone was. It’d all come out in a mix of babbled words and sniffles, and Eddie’d be quick to wrap an arm around you leading you towards the exit.

Halfway through the door he’d spot Zombie clad Steve in the crowd, and he’d whistle, getting his attention, before leading you out onto the lawn and towards his van.

Steve would catch up with the two of you in time to pull the back door open, helping you inside.

Neither would be even close to drunk, their tolerance for alcohol being built up over the years, so it’d be easy to maneuver you in between them. You’d end up in Steve’s lap, back to his chest with his arms around your waist, while Eddie’d kneel in front of you, cradling your face.

“It’s okay, you’re alright.” Steve would murmur into your ear. You’d furrow your brows in confusion, “Stevie?” You’d ask, wondering when he’d gotten there. It’s not your fault though, you really are feeling out of it.

They’d both chuckle, “Yeah baby, I’m here, Stevie’s right here,” he’d respond, squeezing you tight.

Eddie would notice you gnawing on your bottom lip again, and he’d gently tug it away with his thumb, eliciting a whine from you.

He would shake his head, “No sweetheart, you’re hurting yourself…here.” He’d gently slip his thumb through your parted lips, and you’d react instantly, sucking on it.

Your breathing would slow, rigid body going lax against Steve, and your eyes would droop, causing the boys to make eye contact. They’d smile at each other as they realize this is what you needed all along.

“There we go honey…that’s it, just relax.” Steve would coo, reaching up to brush the hair out of your face.

“See? You’re alright precious.” Eddie’d praise you, “I know, it got a bit scary in there, but you’re okay. You just needed a little help didn’t you?”

You’d nod slightly, sighing in content through your nose, and Steve would chuckle,

“That’s what we’re here for baby. We’ll always help you.”

#stranger things #fiction #imagines #writers #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie x reader #steddie #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #dialogue prompts #angst #fluff #steve harrington fluff #steve x eddie #eddie munson fluff

[sevikasangel]

ʀᴇꜱɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴇᴠɪʟ ʟᴀᴅɪᴇꜱ x ᴀɢᴇʀᴇ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ♡

𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚢𝚙𝚎: sfw headcanons ♡ fem!reader

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: pure fluff, no md/lg, sfw age regression, regressed reader, little space.

𝚊/𝚗: my first time writing for the re8 ladies! hope this is up to the standards. forgive any grammar mistakes, i am sleepless and i wrote this on my phone lol. also...i love donna. that's it.

𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐: donna beneviento, alcina dimitrescu, mother miranda.

donna beneviento 🐰✧*。

• donna found out you were an age regressor much before you gathered the guts to tell her. she could tell by your fondness towards baby stuff, your preferences for girly pastel dresses, and how your doe-eyed glances would brighten whenever she would gift you a new doll.

• when you did tell her, donna didn't have too much of a reaction. she only smiled and quietly nodded. surprisingly, that made you feel safe and comfortable.

• although your girlfriend is a quiet person by nature, angie will keep you company while donna is busy and she'll love to play with you. angie loves having tea parties with you and the other dolls, as much as you don't give the others too much attention because she will get jealous.

• donna will make you special bubble baths and wash your hair in the tub. then she'll brush it very gently and braid your strands, decorating your hair with pretty ribbons.

• she always has you on her eyesight when you are regressed. she is afraid of you getting hurt in any sorts. very protective caregiver.

• donna loves baking for you. she wouldn't let you do much in the kitchen, however, she will allow you to hand over the ingredients so you feel like her little helper.

• she always keeps your favorite blanket close (she sewed it herself with your favorite color), in case you ever need it. donna will tuck you in and give you the most endearing, heartwarming forehead kisses.

• donna loves holding you in her arms as she watches you sleep. sometimes she will stare at you for hours, wondering how did she get so lucky, until she finally falls asleep.

alcina dimitrescu 🐰✧*。

• the most protective and possessive mommy you could ask for. alcina thinks you are way too helpless and small to be left by yourself. she is always keeping an eye on her darling, and if she cannot, she will either have the girls or the maidens do so.

• depending on your little age, she will cradle you in her arms, letting you rest your head on her soft breasts as she feeds you warm milk on a baby bottle.

• alcina will carry you around in her arms like her little child anywhere she goes. she is scared of you getting hurt.

• loves your company and your small safe dearly. you always put a smile on her face and she just finds you so adorable that she cannot help but squish your cheeks and smother your face with loving kisses from time to time. cuteness overload.

• alcina might let you wear her hat if you ask sweetly enough.

• she scolds the girls when they're playing way too roughly with you for her liking. she doesn't want you to get hurt.

• "my sweetheart, what do you think you are doing, hm? no, no, no. come here. mommy will do it for you, you are way too little for that."

• she'll have you on her lap, pacifier in your mouth while she rambles about her day and disses heisenberg. you giggle as you feel like a teddy bear to your caregiver.

• will let you do her makeup and play with her hair. on the other hand, she'll do the same to you, treating you like her little doll.

• gives the best hugs. you feel very small and safe when you are both cuddling. alcina loves when you fall asleep on her chest.

mother miranda 🐰✧*。

• another protective caregiver on the list. miranda would be very concerned for your small self, always holding your hand and keeping you close when you went to the village together.

• she keeps pacifiers, stuffed animals, and blankets in her lab so you are entertained while she is busy. sometimes she'll set up little science experiments or even play-pretend spells you can do together when she has a break.

• miranda is very attentive to your needs and she'll certainly ensure they're being taken care of. reminds you to drink water and would prepare you meals and snacks.

• very strict with your rules and bedtime, but she's still a softie. not that she would ever admit that.

• she is constantly asking if you need anything. her voice when talking to you is always soft and gentle. it's very obvious how much she loves you, and how she holds a soft spot for you in her heart.

• she gives you baths and dresses you in clean pajamas and socks before bed.

• miranda will read you bedtime stories while you are both cuddling.

#re8 #re8 lords #re8 x reader #wlw #lesbian #resident evil #resident evil women #resident evil x reader #alcina dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu x reader #agere reader #donna beneviento #mother miranda #lady dimitrescu

[crazyunsexycool]

My little love

Chapter 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x enhanced!Reader

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: Gun is used, death of a minor character, physical abuse toward a newborn(if you don't want to read skip the part that says "this is graphic") , Bucky and his feelings. Use of petnames/nicknames (Angel, sweet Angel, sweetheart, sweet girl)

A/N: I have no idea how I wrote this so fast. Chapter 3 is also currently being written! Not beta'd. All mistakes are my own!

Series Masterlist

Ch. 1

She cried and cried. At least her lungs were healthy. No matter what anyone tried to do, the sweet little Angel wouldn’t stop crying. That first time she woke up and she let you soothe her was a fluke but you couldn’t blame the innocent child. All she’s known is pain and suffering. The nurses had suggested giving her a sedative but you refused. She needed to get used to someone and if it had to be you so be it. 

“Sweet girl, it’s ok.” You cooed from the side of the crib. She had pushed herself against the other side and refused to let you hold her. Although if you really wanted to, all you had to do was lean forward a little bit more and pull her towards you. But you weren’t going to do that. In her own way Angel was asking for space and you would give it to her. 

“Hey, I’m heading out for the day, the next nurses will be here soon.” 

“Thanks Jenna, try to get some rest ok.” 

“You too.”

You smiled at her and then looked at your watch. 7:00 am on the dot and Angel had already been up a few hours. You’d hope she would’ve tired herself out by now but that wasn’t the case. If the paternity test was correct, which it was because you ran it three more times, she had the super soldier serum running through her veins. Angel wouldn’t need as much sleep, just like Bucky. Instead of trying to get her to come to you, you decided to sit down next to the crib. Close enough to see her but far enough away that she didn’t feel threatened. Looking back down at your hands you start to play with the metal bangles you always wear and you get an idea. Grabbing your phone out of your back pocket you looked for the app where you had first read her a fairytale and chose another. Then you moved one hand over the metal bracelets and reshaped them to resemble the characters of the story. 

Finally after reading and manipulating the little metal figures around she calmed down. She even managed to pluck one of the figures midair and was currently sticking it in her mouth. You’d started a list of things to get her on your phone and now you’ve added pacifiers to it. Her eyes were starting to droop and before long she laid down and started snoring lightly. You breathed a sigh of relief as you manipulated the metal from her hand and added it to your bangles again, making a mental note to wash them later. As you settle down in your seat again the door opens slowly revealing the day shift nurse.

“Hi, Y/N. Mr. Stark assigned me to your team. Is there really a baby?” 

“Hey Ivy, meet our tiniest patient.” You whisper as you nod toward the crib. 

You watch as she silently makes her way over and looks in. Her hand goes to her chest and she pouts. 

“I was briefed on her case. I can’t believe someone would hurt a baby like that.” 

“Me either but here we are. I tell you I’d like to get my hands on those bastards and make them feel what she did.”

“Well, sign me up. Oh Mr. Stark said to meet him up in the conference room by his lab.” 

“Thanks, call me if she wakes up.”

“Will do.” She says as she takes your place and you slip out of the room.

When you got to Tony’s conference room you only found him and Steve. They seemed to be in deep discussion so you knocked on the door. Steve waves you in and you open the door, closing it behind you and taking a seat. 

“How’s the patient?” Tony asks. 

“She’s awake with a healthy set of lungs.” 

Steve smiles. 

“So we talked with Fury and he agreed that the safest place for her is here. At least until we figure out who the father is.” Tony says.

“What about her mother?” 

Tony and Steve trade looks before Tony grabs a remote and turns on the tv that’s mounted on the wall. 

“This is graphic.” It’s the only warning Tony gives you before hitting play. 

In the video you see a woman on an exam table giving birth. She holds on to the side as she pushes and grits her teeth as a curse escapes her. Once the baby is born a guard walks up to the woman and shoots her in the head. You gasp when you see it. 

“The new perfect weapon gentlemen.” The doctor who held Angel directed his words to people off camera.

“How can we know for sure? What if it’s not as good as the first?”

“Only one way to find out.” He says. 

You turn your head but it doesn’t matter, you still heard the snap and the sharp piercing scream of a baby who’s arm had been broken. For what? To determine if she had super soldier serum in her veins? All they had to do was take a blood sample. Tears of both rage and indignation escaped you.

“Now we wait to see how long it takes to heal. Then we’ll have our answer. Take her away.” 

Steve was at your side, kneeling so that he could look at your face while one hand rubbed soothing circles on your back. 

“We assume her mother maybe had some ability or the super soldier serum but until you’re able to do the testing we can’t be sure. We have all her files but there isn’t a mention of the father so we’ll need a DNA test and compare it with all of the people we arrested yesterday.” 

“That won’t be necessary.” 

“And why not?” 

“Because I already did one and I know who the father is. Although I didn’t really need one.” 

“What do you mean?” Steve asks, still kneeling beside you.

“She has his eyes.” You say, your voice small but both men can hear you. Steve tenses up beside you before speaking up.

“you’re sure?”

“I ran the test four different times. And every time it came back that Bucky is the father.”

“Oh fuck.” Tony says. No one says anything for a few minutes, unsure of what happens next.

“We have to tell him.” 

“Yeah but imagine what it’s going to do to him. He’s going to ask how she got pregnant and none of the answers are good. This is going to destroy Bucky.”

“He still has the right to know, Y/L/N.” Tony agrees with Steve. “I’ll have him come up here and we can tell him.” 

“No.” You and Steve say at the same time.

“We’ll tell him later today. We need to figure out how we’re going to do it first.” 

“As long as you do it today it’s fine with me. I’ll talk to the lawyers to see what this means for him legally.” 

“He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No, I know. I mean he’s the father he should have custody, but we have to figure out how that needs to happen. She’ll need a birth certificate and social security number. Also this is kidnapping which means everyone in that room gets additional charges put on them.” 

You nod and stand to leave with Steve following close behind. 

“Can I see her?” 

“Yeah, she’s sleeping now though.” 

“It’s probably best. I don’t want her to be afraid of me.” He tells you as you get into the elevator.

There’s a quiet tension building in the small space. It’s almost suffocating. Both of you know that this news is going to change Bucky.

“How do you think he’ll react?” 

“I mean back before the war he wanted a family, but now I’m not so sure. Especially if hydra was involved.” Steve answers.

The elevator door slides open and the sound of crying reaches your ears before you’ve even set a foot in the hallway. Steve lets you out first and you rush to the room. Ivy stands by the crib, gloves on her hands and a needle ready for use. She looks frazzled as she turns when the door opens. 

“What are you doing?” You ask as you get closer to the crib. 

“I thought we needed blood samples. I was just trying to help.” 

“You don’t take blood samples or do anything with her unless you’re told to do so, got it?” You say with a quiet sort of anger. The difficult part was not snapping at her while there was a screaming toddler in your presence. “You’re excused.” You say as you turn back to the crib. 

The littlest Barnes sits against the opposite railing crying bloody murder. Her cheeks are both red and tear stained. Her hand has a little drop of dried blood but you’re sure the puncture wound has already healed. During this Steve stands by the door, a pained expression on his face. He’s useless in this situation. How was he supposed to help calm down a baby that didn’t trust anyone? He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard you humming a lullaby and you changed your metal bangles into different shapes to distract her. 

“There you go sweet girl. You’re ok.” You cooed as you lowered the makeshift toys closer to her. Slowly the crying dies down and her attention is now on the toys that hover above her head. She hiccups every once in a while as she reaches up. “You can come in.” You tell Steve but you keep your eyes on what is happening with the toys. 

He slowly walks closer but still stays at a safe distance. Steve hoped that he wouldn’t be noticed but he should have known better. Bright blue eyes that are slightly puffy and red connect with his. There’s a small whimper and baby Barnes looks at you. It shocks you when she makes little grabby hands in your direction. You’re quick to scoop her up in your arms and she hides her face in the crook of your neck. 

“She really does have his eyes.” He finally says as he crosses his arms. You smile, more to yourself than anything but Steve noticed. “Are you sure your special ability isn’t calming down the Barnes family?” 

“Ha ha so funny Steve. She’s just comfortable around me because I was the first face she saw when she woke up.” 

“Yeah, and what about Bucky? Have you been the first thing he sees when he wakes up?” He teases.

“Steven Grant Rogers, what are you insinuating?”

“Oh come on, I see how you look at him and he’s crazy about you. And it seems like it runs in the family.” He nods in your direction and when you look down you find Angel looking up at you. You smile down at her but when you move to cup her cheek she flinches and her bottom lip wobbles. Without much thought you begin to sway back and forth in hopes of avoiding more crying. 

“You’re a natural with kids. Were you like the neighborhood babysitter or something?” 

You shake your head as you take a seat. “I wish but my parents never really let me out of their sight. I was born with my ability and I couldn’t control it when I was younger. I used to get hurt a lot and they were scared I would hurt someone else.” You shrug your shoulders. “I used to watch my mom take care of my younger siblings but she never let me help out of fear of me hurting them. I guess that’s where I picked it up though.” 

Steve hums as the door opens to reveal Bruce. His eyes widen in surprise as he sees that not only is the toddler awake but that you’re holding her. He smiles as he steps in.

“When did she wake up?” 

“Last night. I didn’t get a chance to call you this morning. I was in a meeting.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Bruce waves a hand dismissively. “I was able to find her file amongst everything that Tony had brought with him.” He says as he taps away on his tablet. “They kept her on a very strict diet, if you can even call it that. It had just enough nutritional value that she wouldn’t die but she’s severely underweight for a three year old.” 

“She’s three?” 

Bruce nods. “At least it’s what the file says. She’s also behind in her developmental skills so we’ve got our work cut out for us. We should keep her on liquids for now and slowly move into soft foods. I’ve already started working on a more nutrient rich formula for her. Think of it as a protein powder but it’s going to provide all the nutrients she’s been missing out on. All we would have to do is add a spoonful to whatever she’s drinking, and really it can be added to anything she eats. I’d like to try a smoothie first, maybe some fruits would be good for her first meal.”

“I like the sound of that.” You say.

“So do I.” Steve adds.

“I’ll get it ready then.” Bruce says but he doesn’t leave immediately. “Tony told me about the paternity test.”

“Yeah, we can safely assume she has the super serum in her system.”

“Once she’s comfortable enough with us I’d like some blood samples to make sure there isn’t anything else we have to prepare for.”

“Ok.” 

“Alright I’ll be back in a bit with breakfast for the little one.” He says with a smile before leaving. 

“So…” 

“So, Rogers.” 

“We invite him to my place for dinner and tell him then?” 

“Yeah. There’s really no way around this.” You frown slightly before looking back down at the child in your arms, she’s kept her eyes on you the whole time. One of her hands rests over yours and the other is holding a small metal cat. The grip she has on it is tight as if she were afraid someone would take it away from her. 

After a few minutes of you and Steve talking about what things need to be bought for the girl, Bruce walks back into the room. He holds a sippy cup full with a pink smoothie and a spoon. 

“Ok, here we go.” He hands you the sippy cup. “I brought a spoon just in case we have to feed it to her. She may have never been given a bottle so this could be a foreign concept to her.” 

You nod and then you bring the sippy cup up to her lips but she turns away. A small whine escapes her as you try to get her to drink. Anytime the tip of the sippy cup comes close to her mouth she moves her face away.

“This isn’t going to work.” 

“Let’s try the spoon then. Maybe if she sees you eating it she’ll feel more comfortable?”

For the first time since he walked in, Steve walks closer to the girl, who doesn’t seem as scared of him anymore and kneels down. He takes the sippy cup and unscrews the lid and holds it out. Bruce hands over the small spoon to you. You grab it and take a small amount of the smoothie and you bring it to your lips. Humming in approval of the sweet flavors. You grab more of the smoothie mixture and bring it up to her lips, she hesitates for a moment but then she lets you feed her.

“Mmm.” She hums out. The three of you breathe a sigh of relief as you grab more and she happily gets more. With every spoonful of the cold and sweet concoction both you and Steve praise her. Trying to get her used to both of you so that you can at least have someone else she can trust. 

“Sweet Angel you did so good.” You say as you hand Bruce the spoon and place a small kiss on the top of her head

. She was only able to finish about half the smoothie but it was enough.   

“I’ll put this in the fridge for later.” He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a container. “Here is some of the formula I made. You just add a teaspoon to whatever you’re going to give her.”

“Thanks Bruce.”

“No problem. Let me know when you get through that and I’ll get you more.” 

“I will.” He walks out after saying his goodbye. 

“So what now?” Steve asks.

“I’m not sure. I was thinking maybe going out to the garden? Some fresh air could do her some good.” 

“Ok.” Steve replies as his phone starts to ring, he pulls it out of his pocket and frowns. “I have to take this.” Is all he says before he walks out. 

“Well I guess it’s just us girls.”  You say as you look down, only to find that baby Barnes is falling asleep. Without much knowledge of what had been done to her, you can only assume she’s been kept awake for long periods of time. So you set her back in the crib and ask Friday to inform you when she wakes up again. 

Before heading up to your apartment you go find Ivy and apologize for the way you reacted. She said she understood and that she would check in on the sleeping toddler while you rested. With that you left the medical wing and headed to your apartment. 

Before you knew it, the time to talk with Bucky had come. You had gone down and checked on his daughter before heading up to Steve’s apartment. At the door you find Bucky about to knock when he turns to look at you. A smile appears on his lips when he sees it’s you. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, are you having dinner with us?” 

“Yup.” You smile up at him as you knock. The door opens almost too fast, as if Steve had been standing on the other side the whole time. Your eyes narrow when you eyed him suspiciously and he gives you a smirk. 

“Come on in, dinner is almost ready.” 

Steve steps out of the way and Bucky lets you in first. Both men follow you as you walk toward Steve’s living room where you take a seat on his couch. Bucky sits next to you and Steve sits on an armchair across from both of you. The apartment was very him and when Bucky saw it for the first time he mentioned it felt like walking back into the 30s and 40s. So whenever they were feeling homesick you could always find them here. 

“Oh before I forget. I um-” Bucky raises a hand up and shows you a bag. “I had to see my therapist today and I stopped at a baby store. I thought the kid could use a toy or two.” He said as he handed you the bag.

Sure enough the bag contained a pink teddy bear, some rubber ducks and even a doll. There were also some pacifiers and a blanket. when you look back up at him your eyes soften, there’s a slight blush on his cheeks and it causes you to smile up at him. 

“Oh for the love of God.” Steve mutters under his breath with an eye roll and that causes Bucky to clear his throat.

“My therapist said she might need some items that can bring her comfort so I just got a few things. Maybe it’ll help.” 

“This is really sweet of you.”

“How is she doing?” 

You look at Steve and he just nods. “She’s doing good, she woke up and we're working on building up her weight and getting her healthy. But um we actually needed to talk to you about her.”

“What? Why?” Bucky furrowed his brows. 

“I did a paternity test on her.” 

“Do you need help finding the parents? Are we going on a mission or something?” Bucky looks between you and Steve. 

“No nothing like that. Her mother is gone, hydra killed her as soon as she had the baby, we have video proof.” Steve added.

“And the father?” 

“That’s what we wanted to talk about.” You say softly as you look at him. His eyes widen and he shakes his head. 

“There’s no way.”

“I did the test four times, Bucky, she’s your daughter.” 

He stands from the couch abruptly and begins to pace. You can tell he’s lost in thought as he tries to think of when it could have happened. As gently as you can you call his name and when he finally looks at you, his eyes are full of unshed tears. Bucky walks back over to you and sits down. He grabs your hands to try and ground himself.

“Please tell me it’s wrong. I can’t… I can’t take care of a kid. She can’t be mine.” He pleads and your heart breaks for both of them. You hear Steve sniffle from where he’s at. 

“I’m sorry Bucky.” 

You pull him in for a hug. He hides his face in the crook of your neck and you can feel his shoulders moving as he begins to cry. Bucky’s grip on you tightens the longer he stays in your embrace. After a few minutes he pulls away but he won’t meet your eyes.

“How did it happen?” Bucky asks as you rub circles on his back.

“I’m not sure. Tony is still looking through files.”

“Do you think they made me…”

“Made you what, Buck?” Steve asks.

“Do you think they made me force myself on her?” 

“We’re not sure. But I don’t think so. They might have done it through medical procedure so that they could ensure the pregnancy happened.”

Bucky turns to look at you again, his expression is a mixture of hurt and heartbreak. 

“You have to know that I would never do that. I could never hurt anyone that way. Please, you have to believe me.” 

“I do believe you.” You say as you cup his cheek. “I know you would never do anything like that.”

Bucky closes his eyes at your touch and breathes a sigh of relief when you tell him you believe him. But he’s still tense and you can’t blame him.

“So what happens now with her?”

“Well Tony is working on getting a birth certificate and all that legal stuff and we are working on getting her healthy. We just have to go one day at a time.” 

“I can’t take care of a child. I can barely take care of myself.” 

“We’re not asking you to do this alone Bucky-“ Steve starts saying in hopes of calming his best friend down.

“At all. I can’t do this at all. Hydra has controlled my life for long enough and now I have to take care of a kid I didn’t want to have?” Bucky’s voice raised with every word until he was yelling. He stands up again and puts some space between himself, you and Steve. “I’m sorry but I can’t be responsible for her.” Is the last thing he said before walking out of Steve’s apartment. 

You can’t say you were surprised. Steve sat there with a distressed look on his face as he looked at you.

“You have to know he doesn’t mean it.”

“I know Steve. It’s a lot to deal with. I can’t say I would have reacted differently. We’ll have to talk with the lawyers to see if we can set up a guardianship or something.” 

Steve just nods but doesn’t say anything else. He just gets up and heads to the kitchen.

“Come on, we might as well talk about next steps in her care over dinner.” But you look towards the door, with the need to follow Bucky out. “He won’t listen to reason right now. He has to process this his own way.”

You get up and follow Steve. For the next hour or so you decide what needs to happen next. When you’re done you grab the bag of things Bucky had bought and head to the medical wing. You can hear Ivy talking sweetly to her and when you open the door you find Ivy feeding her. 

As soon as you step inside the sweet girl’s eyes are on you. They light up in recognition and for the first time you see a smile on her sweet face before she turns and accepts the last spoonful of the smoothie Ivy had held in her hands. 

“I’ve got a surprise for you sweet Angel.” You coo as you get closer. Her eyes stay on you as you get closer. Your hand disappears into the bag and you pull out the pink bear and hold it out for her. She hesitates for a moment but her little hands eventually wrap around the bear and she hugs it to her body. When she realizes that it’s soft and won’t hurt her, she lets out a small squeal of joy. Ivy excuses herself and you’re left alone with baby Barnes. 

“That’s from your daddy sweetheart. He’s a little scared right now but I think he’ll come around soon. He’s a good man.” You said to her as you sat down and pulled out the doll and handed it over to her. 

You were unaware that Bucky was standing by the partially closed door when you said it.

Ch. 3

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[i-me-mine]

As time goes by | Chapter 17: Gone

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word Count: 8k

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | AO3

Chapter Summary: Enjoying your last days in Hawkins before leaving for college could have been easier if you hadn’t had to deal with the fact that Eddie ran away and left you alone after you kissed.

Notes: Sorry it took so long for me to update this! Life got in the way, then I got locked out of Tumblr; it took me a while to get back to writing… and then I wrote this super long chapter - I thought about splitting it into 2 chapters, but it’s been so long since I posted that I didn’t want to delay it anymore xD.

People spend their whole lives experiencing moments and sensations that become memories that, over time, will weaken and disappear. But you were sure you’d never felt an emotion like the one that washed over you when Eddie kissed you. The feel of rough guitar-playing fingers on your skin felt etched into you, and his lips’ soft, urgent touch felt like you were meant to merge into one. The wave of feelings invading your being in those moments changed you fundamentally. You didn’t see how you could be the same after that.

And knowing that Eddie was gone and that you probably wouldn’t get the chance to feel that again was unbearable. It was one thing to dream of what it would be like, a wish lost in the realm of imagination… and another to have that vivid memory bubbling up inside you. You already knew you were going to suffer, like a drug addict going through withdrawal.

The sounds seemed far away while you were still deep in thought, but you could hear Steve’s voice, with a falsely excited tone, trying to encourage everyone to return to the backyard, drawing attention away from you. The room grew quieter, and you felt Robin nudging your shoulder.

“You are full of surprises, huh? I was betting on Harrington... But, you like Munson, then?” 

“Yes,” you murmured, admitting it. 

“But you like him, like… for real? How much?” Nancy urged, trying to get more information from you. 

“Obviously more than he likes me, not that I can help that,” you sighed, ashamed, remembering how everyone saw you being rejected. 

“Judging by the intensity of that kiss, I’m sure there is more love than you may imagine. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to keep things PG here.” Robin tried to cheer you up. 

You shook your head in doubt, though your heart throbbed at her words, and you wanted more than anything to be able to believe them. At that moment, when you were his, and he was yours, everything seemed perfect, making it easy to feed your delusions that he could love you back.

Robin and Nancy started commenting on the boy’s dares, making fun of their performances, trying to make you laugh. After a while, you were feeling a little better, and you joined the rest of the gang, and gladly, no one else brought up the subject of Eddie up, so you tried your best to enjoy the rest of the night. As everyone returned home and you and Steve remained, he opened his arms, and you ran to his embrace, allowing yourself to cry. He knew you were hurt, and you knew that you could let your tears run freely around him, that he would offer you comfort, not judgment. 

“It was too good to be real.” you breathed deeply. “How can the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me be at the same moment?” you mourned. “Why doesn’t he love me? Am I such an unlovable person?”

“Please, how could you think he doesn’t love you after that kiss? Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like that… I can’t even imagine what it was like for you guys who felt that. Someone who doesn’t love you wouldn’t kiss you like that; it’s impossible.”

All you could hope was that it had been as special to him as it was to you.

“But still, it wasn’t enough to make him stay. I think I’m just gonna have to leave it at that.”

Steve frowned. “Why are you saying that? Are you going to hide from him?”

“I won’t need to.”

“I’m not sure I’m following you…”

“He will do it for me. That’s what he does, what we do,” you explained. “Except that we used to do it together, hide away from our problems, from the world… But now I’m the reason why he hides away. So I have no other option than letting him go.”

“Don’t bullshit me, little lady... You may get hurt, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying.” 

But you were not sure how many times you still wanted to try. Sometimes you thought that you just don’t know Eddie anymore, that you don’t understand his signs… or that maybe he is not giving any signal at all; it’s just you wishing to have something to hold on to.

“The truth, Steve… the hard truth is that if he wanted something with me, he would have made it clear already, he wouldn’t leave.” you used the back of your hands to wipe your tears, “but he always leaves. And I love him so much, but I’m tired of being on this alone.”

Your suffering hurt Steve deeply. He didn’t understand why things couldn’t be easier for you - if someone with a heart as good as yours was not happy in love, how could anyone else? It wasn’t fair.

“You know, some people live their whole lives and will never get the chance of getting a kiss like that or loving someone as much as you love him. Why don’t you just admit how you really feel? He deserves to know the truth. You deserve to get this out of your chest. I can’t stand you keeping secrets about this.”

“It was just a kiss out of a dare, and look what happened. I can’t say anything; I’m afraid it will only worsen things.”

Steve knew you were confused and hurt, and he didn’t want to push you further, but he also loved you too much, so he couldn’t help but be honest and try to open your eyes.

“Have you noticed that usually bad communication happens out of fear? Fear of conflict, fear of the result, fear of reaction…” he noticed how you looked down, avoiding his gaze. “This fear is a little monster that, if not crushed at the first opportunity of being honest, will grow, and this will become an evergrowing snowball jeopardizing everything.”

“When did you get so wise, big boy?”

“I think you bring the best out of me” he kissed the top of your head.

You were grateful that Steve let you stay there that night. The warm shower, plush sheets, and comfy bed in Steve’s guest room were welcoming, a lull in the middle of the hustle and an escape route from the trailer park, where you’d deep down wanted to be if only things had gone your way, but couldn’t think about going back after all that happened. You were daydreaming in bed when a light tap on the door caught your attention; Steve walked in and sat next to you.

“Are you feeling better?” 

“I am. I’m sorry for my little breakdown earlier… I’ve changed my mind… I’m glad that I’m able to love him so much.” you spoke a little too quickly as if trying to justify something to him. “Could you imagine how hard it would be going through life without ever feeling something so great?” 

“That’s my girl! Things won’t be this bad forever.”

“I know… and I could have avoided all this pain… but it would also mean I would miss all the awesome moments I shared with him. Things are not perfect, but I think I can live with that.” you shrugged.

“Speaking about the pain that could be avoided, but gladly was not… I think I never told you, but thank God I met you when I did… you changed my life.” he held your hand. “I was so heartbroken because of Nancy… I could have easily gone back to being a douchebag that didn’t care about anyone…”

“I doubt that, Steve…”

“I mean it.” he interrupted you. “I was confused back then, but you helped me. And you made me care about you. You showed me that there are still people with good hearts out there.”

“And you are one of them! Come here, big boy” You hugged Steve tightly, and he gently rested his chin on your shoulder.

“You saved me… and I can’t save you… that makes me so sad.”

“I don’t know how I would have survived all of this without your support, Steve. You are the best, and you are very special to me.”

You genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him as a person was undoubtedly one of the few good things you got out of the whole nightmarish period when Eddie was with Samantha. You appreciated Steve’s kindness, loyalty, and sense of humor. He deserved so much more credit than he got. 

“Same here, little lady. I just wish you didn’t have to go so far away… but I’m sure you’ll do great things..”

“Just wait and see what I’m about to do with my life.” you laughed. “But don’t worry, a part of me will always be with you.” 

“I’ll miss you so much! Who is going to hang out with me now? No one understands me as you do. How am I going to keep myself busy without you here?”

“You won’t be alone. The kids love you, especially Dustin. Robin is great too.”

“Yeah, but she hates me.”

“She’ll learn to love you, just like I did.” 

“I’m not so sure of it! I’ll miss having someone to take care… and be taken care of.”

“Take care of our kids for me, will ya? I’m sure they’ll need you. And don’t stop looking, you’ll find someone.”

“I’ll try my best! I’ll let you rest now. Everything will be better tomorrow; you’ll see.” 

He kissed your forehead softly and stroked your hair like a loving father saying goodbye to a child at bedtime. All you could hope was that his words were true, that things would improve. But in the meantime, you could still find refuge in the memory of the kiss that changed everything.

It’s strange to see how a whole life fits into just a few cardboard boxes. Memories of years, happy and sad moments, little pieces of you separated into piles, cataloged as things to take to college, leave at home, and donate. Packing up your things was a long process over days, but it helped you physically stay away from Eddie, even though your thoughts were always on him. Until one day, as you were putting out the garbage, he approached slowly as if afraid you would run away from him.

Eddie, the vivid chaotic boy, who just couldn’t shut up about things, who always narrated so many campaigns, who had a quick mind ready to counter any smart player in D&D, was now tongue-tied, unable to find the right words to say, with a heart full of emotions and words stuck in the throat, repressed. He tentatively raised one hand as a ‘hello’ and just got a slight nod of your head as a response, which made his stomach ache. 

“I’m sorry for fucking this up. I hate the silence between us. Shit, I miss you.” he bursted.

“A little late for that, don’t you think?” 

You shouldn’t sound so wounded, damn it; you also missed him, you shouldn’t be pushing him, but your instinct gave out that reactive response before you could control yourself. You could see Eddie closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before speaking again. 

“Look, I don’t want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in life, knowing that soon you are going away.” the dark circles under his eyes indicated that he hadn’t slept well in days. “So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, stupid, and if you were merciful, we could take a shot at just pretending nothing changed and being friends again.”

The sad look in his eyes reminded you of the face he used to have sometimes as a kid. You hadn’t had an easy childhood, but you also knew that you’d somehow muddled your way through it because you had each other to hold on to. Time has passed, but somehow you were still those two kids, not knowing what you were doing but always there for each other. And you had to believe that it wouldn’t change. 

“Ok, I can do that.” you would rather have small pieces of him than nothing. “I miss you, Eds.” you gave him a small, shy smile, thinking how it was so good to tell him that, knowing all the feelings behind that.

Seeing your shimmering eyes and smile made his heart beat quickly. He wanted to take you in his arms and kiss you, but he wanted to take things slow, not wanting to risk losing you again.

“So, you should come to see us at The Hideout tonight… that could be your last chance to see us making a fool of ourselves on the stage before leaving us here.”

“I’ll be there; Gareth invited me… I’ll always be Corroded Coffin’s number 1 fan, no matter what happens or where I am.”

“Then let me show you firsthand the new song I’ll be playing today!” His eyes were now glimmering with barely contained excitement, holding your hand and guiding you to his trailer. 

He showed you the setlist, played some songs, and told you how they almost secured a fixed weekly day to play at the hideout. He was so happy - It was so good to have that soft, funny Eddie back - that boy willing to make a fool of himself just to make you laugh and feel comfortable and happy. It was easy to forget all the worries while standing with him in his bedroom. 

“We should stop running away from each other; things are always better when we are together,” he said, out of breath, after playing a few songs. 

“Hey, don’t look at me; maybe the problem is you.”

“Oh, the problem is definitely me, I’m sure.” 

“You have been nothing but trouble since our younger years,” you said, throwing a pillow at him. 

“But it was fun,” he threw it back. “I didn’t know how much I liked you until I realized every time I saw you, I just smiled…. even you being an annoying little girl, I couldn’t stay away.” 

And you smiled hearing his words, without even meaning to, like some infectious effect that Eddie had on you.

“The idea of having an older boy to protect me was too good to let it pass. I’m glad I found you.”

“I’m glad you never gave up on me.” As much as it was true, those tiny confessions were still hard to come out of Eddie’s mouth, so how the hell was he supposed to say anything else? He was trying to take small steps, but it was not getting any easier. 

He laid down next to you without a word. It could have been an awkward silence, but staying next to him was too good of a sensation for you to complain about.  

“Do you think I’ll adapt to college life? Sometimes it does not feel like something for me,” you said in a shy voice, as that was a genuine concern in your heart. 

“I’m sure you’ll do great! You were made for this! I was not made for college, and unfortunately, I was also not made for anything else” Eddie hugged you and started to brush his fingers through your hair.

“You were made for being with me,” you thought but did not dare to say. As much as you wanted to kiss him and tell him how much you wanted him, you were also happy to be able to be there, hugging him again. 

When you embraced Eddie, you felt like it was a kind of energy transmission, and it made you feel at peace, even if for a few seconds. Staying there with him like this was like the world stopped so you could be truly happy for a while. Even if just for a bit.

And in times like these, feeling his arms around you, you thought that there was nothing greater in life than your love for him… and that it should count for something… but you also knew that it was nonsense, that you were just living the last few breaths of something that had already ended. 

“That was amazing, guys!!” you exclaimed as you entered the backstage. 

“Things will be way quieter now that we won’t have you single-clapping for us after the show anymore.” Jeff laughed.

Acid remarks were being thrown on each side - you would surely miss spending time just hanging out with the boys at the hideout. Eddie, however, was grumpy in the corner of the room, clearly not sharing the fun vibe that was going on. When he noticed you taking gifts from your backpack to give to the boys, the farewell gifts you were distributing to everyone, he couldn’t handle that anymore and stormed out of the room.

“Don’t worry about him; he is just having a hard time dealing with… you know… the fact you are leaving soon” Gareth face transformed with a huge smile when he saw the red flannel shirt you gave him. “I love it, by the way.”

“Yeah, you rock!” Jeff added, proudly looking at the Black Sabbath shirt you gave him. 

“Would you mind if…” you started saying

“Go, he needs you.” Gareth encouraged you with a smile. 

You found him smoking a cigarette, looking to the stars, and he let out a startled gasp when he noticed you approaching. 

“Would you mind sharing?” you said tentatively, getting a small smile from him, and he handed you the cigarette. 

You stayed there for a moment when you finally broke the silence. “What’s wrong, Eds?”

He ran his hands on his face before looking at you. 

“I just can’t understand how everyone could be so okay with you going away.” 

“And I can’t understand why you are acting like this and wasting our time before I’m gone. It’s not easy for me, you know.” you countered. 

Your sudden sincerity took Eddie aback. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His facial expression seemed confused for a moment, and suddenly he wrapped his arms around you, and you rested your head against his chest. His hands slid up your back, and his cheek leaned against your hair.  

“I’m sorry if I’m making things worse… I’m just feeling lost,” He admitted.

“So am I,” you whispered.

The scariest thing about distance is that he didn’t know what to expect. Maybe you would miss him or completely forget about him. He never planned to fall in love with you, and things could be much easier if he didn’t. But at the same time, thanks to you, he knew that his life was way better.

“Let’s go home, shall we?” he offered.

The ride home was quiet, both of you with a million thoughts running in your heads but not verbalizing a single one. There were so many things you wanted to ask him… but you knew that Eddie would lose it if he knew what you were thinking and feeling. As you got to the trailer park and climbed out of the van, you asked the question that was burning in the back of your mind. 

“So… what should we do with our last days here?” 

“I just want to spend every possible minute of them with you,” he admitted.

How could someone give you so much strength yet still be your only weakness?

“Come on, then,” you said, pulling him into this trailer, feeling his warm and sweaty hand in yours. It was insane to think how you were both afraid of speaking about your feelings but were also unable to deal with how starved for each other closeness you were. 

Laying on the bed beside him felt like a luxury you couldn’t afford. You wished that you hadn’t wasted so much time shutting him out, maybe it was already too late to live what you would really want to, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy what you have now. 

“I know you are giving gifts to everyone, but would you accept one from me?” he whispered and smiled when you nodded, agreeing. 

He then turned to hit play on his stereo, and you waited silently. Then the music began. And his voice, sweet, deep, passionate, started singing, and the lyrics described the travels of an adventurer in a distant land with his companion. Under that disguise, you recognized some of your own adventures and moments you both shared, and you knew it was a song about you. You listened, speechless and wide-eyed. You knew he was waiting for your reaction, but you couldn’t find the words to speak. Tears welled in your eyes, and you reached up to wipe them away before they streamed down your face. 

“I thought that maybe you could take the tape to listen whenever you miss us.” his voice was low, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at you.

“Oh, Eds…” you started, but he interrupted you, putting a small package in your hand.

You opened it and couldn’t help but smile. It was a guitar pick necklace, but that wasn’t a typical guitar pick. When you were younger, you started doing small jobs here and there to get some coins, and the first thing you bought wasn’t something for you. You went to the music store and chose that pick for him. He used to tell you it was his lucky pick and used it in important concerts or whenever he was too anxious. 

“Take it with you… maybe it would make you remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind.”

You took it in your hand and felt it for a moment. Its energy was warm and comforting, like a warm hug. You placed its chain over your neck and held it close to your heart. 

“You’ll wear it?” he asked.

“Of course, I will.” 

He grinned at you with that wide happy smile that melted your heart. 

“You may not be able to be around me, sweetheart, but you can carry a piece of me with you,” he added shyly. 

You reached out to touch his cheek, and he caught your hand, pressing it against his lips. He stroked your cheek With his other hand, and you could feel the blood rushing beneath your face. You stayed there, pressing your foreheads together, inhaling simultaneously. You wished you weren’t able to be so comfortable in silence because there were moments when things had to be said, but you both were, again and again, choosing to avoid speaking about what really mattered. Once again, you decided to delay a hard conversation and sank into sleep, enveloped in his warmth. 

Eddie, however, was having a hard time falling asleep, afraid that if he closed his eyes, you would disappear. He slowly realized how much he would miss that intimacy - holding the other in the middle of the night, cuddling, holding hands, laughing about something dumb the boys did or said, listening to music, reading to each other. All the lingering stares. All those conversations without speaking. He knew he would not find that with anyone else, and knowing that he was about to lose made him want to cry, and it took a long time until he finally gave up and slept.

Despite the gray day, the sun escaped and entered through the window. When Eddie woke the next morning, he gazed at your back as you slept and felt something that he couldn’t name in the pit of his stomach. It could have been desire or affection, but he knew it was more. 

Your bat tattoo on display seemed to tease him. You made it as a promise that you would fly away together, but now you were leaving, and he would stay behind, left, forgotten. He wanted to hold you close and not let you go away, but he knew it was selfish. 

“I’ll make you proud someday. I promise,” he murmured, knowing you could not hear him. 

He lightly touched each of the bats in your tattoo, trying not to wake you, thinking if they would somehow help you fly back to him one day. A gasp left his lips as he noticed you turning to face him. But you were not awake, not yet. He noticed how your eyes started to blink and knew you were close to waking up, so close… he ran his hand over your face gently and wished he could keep you there. He wished he had the power to know what’s on your mind and wished you couldn’t know what’s on his as he was ashamed of all the messy thoughts clouding his mind.

“Are you awake already, sweetheart? Let me get you breakfast then” he kissed your forehead, getting up and leaving the room. 

An idea has been forming in your mind the whole night, and you looked around, finding Eddie’s notebook and his pen. You hurried and wrote what you wanted desperately to tell him on a piece of paper, folding it and writing “For Eddie” on top of it, leaving it on his bedside table before leaving his bedroom. 

You had existed in a blissful bubble for the past few weeks, living in the moment, savoring every second of the time you spent together. You watched movies, read to each other, went on hikes, laid on the top of his trailer, and gazed at the stars. You took advantage of any opportunity to find comfort in each other’s arms without crossing the line of a kiss again, but you were happy anyway. It had been easy during this time to put off any serious discussion, any talk of the future. But as your last day in Hawkins approached, Eddie started to get sad, and in his heart, he began to believe he wasn’t good enough for you and that soon you would realize it, so it would be better if you were not there by his side when it happened. 

On the morning before your last day, you got up and left the trailer while Eddie slept on unawares, snoring softly. You promised Will that you would play one of his campaigns before leaving, and the boys would meet very early in Mike’s basement. You knew the campaign would likely go through the whole day, so you had already planned a sleepover with Nancy, and Max would join you. Joyce was kind enough to convince Hopper to let El join the boys during the day, so you had the chance to also say goodbye to her, but unfortunately, he didn’t allow her to stay the night. 

It was fun playing D&D with the boys. You couldn’t wait until they got to high school; you were sure that Eddie would love to welcome them to Hellfire. They were excited when you gave them your old miniatures and D&D guides. You knew you wouldn’t have time for it in college, and D&D stuff is usually something that you pass from one player to the other - you hoped that maybe you could pass your guides to Max, but she wasn’t interested in it - hopefully, your old things were safe with the kids until they could find a new player who would benefit from them. 

You had a great time during the night with the girls. You knew that Nancy cared about the kids a lot, and you wanted Max to know that while you would be away, Nancy would still be someone she could count on - that’s why all the moments you three shared mattered a lot to you. And you knew you were going to miss them.

The morning of your last day finally arrived. Steve planned a farewell party for you, which was good, as everyone was busy with their summer jobs and you didn’t see them as much as you wanted to. But that was the last time you would see Max before leaving. When the time for the goodbye came, you gave her your gift: a Walkman. 

“Music always helps, no matter what you’re going through. I’ll be listening to mine, so whenever you listen to yours, we’ll be connected,” you explained when you gave it to her. 

Unexpectedly, Max threw her arms around you. “You be careful,” 

You hesitated just a moment before you hugged her back. “You, too,”

She still kept her arms around your neck, head on your shoulder. “I’ll be all right,” she said, clasping your face. “But I’ll miss you, for sure.”. 

“I’ll miss you too, Max. You have Nancy… and you have El too. She needs her time, but I’m sure you two will be great friends, be patient; it will happen, I know it! And I love you, don’t forget that!”.

“I love you too,” said Max, not wanting to let go of you.

When you got back to the trailer park, Marc was already waiting for you. He was there to get your things to put in the car, so you could go right after the party, not needing to come back to the trailer park later. You were glad he was there to help you - your boxes were heavier than you thought. 

“Need a ride for the party?” he offered after loading the car with the last box.

“I’ll go with Eddie… but I’ll see you there, right?”

“Of course.” his smile diminished a bit. “see you later, princess,” he said before driving away. 

Your house suddenly felt so empty. Your father was drunk already, snoring on the couch, and didn’t pay attention when you tried to say your goodbyes. You left your house and met Eddie in your usual spot in the woods near the trailer park. Without a word, he understood how you were feeling and held your hand, guiding you to the old tire swing where you used to play when you were kids. 

“I think you need a little bit of fun, m’lady,” he said while helping you get into it. 

He pushed you, and you started singing silly songs as you did as a child. He laughed and started to sing along, and at that moment, the sound of your voices made you forget all the things that were worrying you. It was like being back in those simpler times.

“You know I’ll stand by you, support and love you, no matter the distance between us, right? Nothing will ever change.” He said in a choked voice. The fact that he wasn’t looking into your eyes made it a bit easier for him to speak. 

“Things change, Eds… in a moment we were kids playing here.. And in a blink of an eye, a decade goes by, and here we are… with me getting ready to move to another city, having to deal with living by myself, going to college, finding a job, adapting to a whole new life…”

“All of this seems too much for only one girl.”

“Well, don’t blame me for trying. I’ll try to have courage.”

And Eddie thought it was beautiful becausem deep down,  he was a man afraid of many things - and he got distracted for a moment and didn’t notice you tried to jump off the tire swing and fell to the ground.

He hurried to check if you were hurt, and the sound of your laughter echoed while he helped you get back up. The rest of the world dropped away when you took each other’s hand and looked into each other’s eyes. You felt as if you could hear the flickering of birds, water lapping, and the wind blowing, and then all at once, you couldn’t. Everything around you fell silent. It was just the two of you.

It could have been minutes or just a second; you couldn’t measure how long you stared at each other, unable to break eye contact. Eddie looked like he was about to slam you against a tree and make out to you, or maybe it was just the burning desire playing tricks with your mind. Being so close to him was torture. You were tired of pretending.  

“Eddie, I have to admit… I’m scared.” you were on the verge of tears

“Just saying that makes you more brave than you imagine… but you don’t have to be scared, sweetheart.”

But you were scared about the new life ahead of you and the things you were leaving behind. 

“What if I’m making the wrong decisions, Eds? What if…”

He interrupted you: “I’ll be damned if I let your insecurities win. I have never met anyone like you; if there is anyone that can conquer the world, that one is you.”

“The rest of the world may not agree with you, Eds.”

“Sweetheart, other people’s judgments are meaningless… unless you allow them to mean something. Don’t do this”.

And as soon as the words came out of his mouth, Eddie realized something - He was always fearless, not worrying about the bullies in the school, always doing as he pleased… but it was different with you. He usually got speechless and was always worried about messing up and afraid of what you could think… and that was the reason. He didn’t care about what others were thinking except for you. What you could think about him meant the world to him, the opinion that mattered.

There was a lot he wished to confess, but he struggled to let the next phrase come out of his mouth: 

“You know… I’m scared too. Things are easy when you are here… but life will be hard again once you leave.”

“And what does that mean, Eds?” you paused. “Is there anything you wanna tell me?”

His heart was hitting his chest, and he hoped you couldn’t feel its ragged rhythm. He, a man who could talk to anyone, was now tongue-tied in your presence. He just couldn’t seem to control his words or his emotions, though he tried his best. Every time you were together, he held back. He wanted to be all over you but was cautious, not wanting you to see how he was burning for you. 

But time passed, and he kept quiet. You felt your chest getting heavier and bit your lip to avoid the tears pooling in your eyes. You took his silence as a sign of indifference.

“We should get back,” you murmured, defeated, walking back without waiting for him.

The sadness of the cold goodbye you got from your father and the silence from Eddie faded away when you got back to the trailer park, as Wayne was waiting for you with warm eyes and a smile. Saying goodbye to him was more challenging than you thought, and you could already feel the tears pooling in your eyes, and you looked down, not knowing how to say goodbye to him. 

“You should get Hopper to arrest me - leaving you and Eddie alone is practically criminal negligence; who will take care of you now?”

“Our lives won’t be the same without you here… but I think it’s important to get away from where you’ve grown up for some of your life… Go see the world, kiddo! But don’t forget you’ll always have us here whenever you want to come back.”

“What if I don’t want to go?” you mumbled, pouting like a small kid.

“Keep your head up, my sweet, beautiful girl. This is just the beginning. Don’t forget this old man will always wish you all the best.”

You were never good with words, and this time you wished you were because there were so many things you wanted to tell him. 

“I love you, Uncle Wayne!” You hugged him around the waist, tears streaming down your face. 

“There, now. You don’t want to miss your party. Go have fun, kiddo. I love you.”. He patted your back and tried to hide that he was almost crying.

Eddie was also trying to keep his emotions under control and tried his best to distract himself by singing in the car while going to Steve’s house, knowing that was probably the last car ride you would share. He didn’t want to think of all the preparations you did - how you left him a copy of the keys to your trailer, how you let him store some of his belongings in your old room, to declutter a bit his bedroom in his trailer, how you were wearing his favorite shirt, and wearing the guitar pick necklace you gave him. He just couldn’t believe this was the day he would lose you. 

When you got to Steve’s house, everyone was already there - Eddie let you go and join the others, he knew that everyone wanted to spend time with you, and he wanted to let you enjoy it. He was happy to see you all playing and having fun together. 

And during all that, he gazed at you, trying to memorize everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, the clothes you were wearing, your lips, your cheeks, the color of your skin when the sun hit it, your voice, so beautiful while singing along with the boys, that smile that he loved so much. 

He looked at you and wished he would never stop looking at you, but he knew it was the end. He could already imagine that the weeks would pass, maybe you would stop to write back his letters, to answer his calls, there would be that unspoken thing, the heavy silence, and you would then forget about him. So he knew he had to remember every little detail now because those were the last moments he would have the chance to see and witness them.

And you were smiling so beautifully, playing catch with the girls when you stopped and looked at him. And then you started to run to him, and without thinking, he also ran to meet you. He picked you up and spun you around, inhaling the sweet scent of your hair. Being around you made him feel giddy and excited. It made his heart race, and he could not string a coherent sentence, but he was glad it didn’t bother you. 

“You know that not a single day will go by that I won’t think of you, right?”

“Good!” you replied, smiling.

He could picture the whole life ahead you would have, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was holding you back. He had no idea what would happen in the future, which scared him. 

“You and I are going to be okay; you know that, right?” he didn’t know if he was telling that to reassure you or to convince himself about it. 

You nodded, and when your lips opened to say something, Robin grabbed your arms, making you stand in a chair to make a speech to everyone before you left. Shyness washed over you, but you did your best to mumble a few words to everyone.

“And we may have had some ups and downs,” you concluded, looking fondly at the group, “but I love every one of you. I know that I’m moving on to the next chapter of my life, but please know that I sincerely hope we can hold each other close in our hearts. I know I’m taking all this love with me wherever I go.”

“She is smart. Too smart to stay stuck here,” Steve murmured. He could feel the tears falling, and Robin, standing by his side, was surprised to see that he wasn’t trying to stop the tears.

You raised your cup, your eyes shining with tears. “Cheers, everyone. I’m so glad I met you!”

“Cheers!” They all responded in unison, tapping their cups together and wiping their eyes with broad smiles. No one was smiling brighter and crying harder than the curly hair boy in the corner.

“That’s my girl!” you heard Steve call out from the sidelines - you were thankful he was there trying to cheer you, although it made you feel the blood hot under your cheeks.

He held out his arms for you and brought you in a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, little lady,” he murmured into your hair as you leaned your head against his chest. 

“I know you are, big boy!”

“I’m gonna miss you so much” Nancy stole you from Steve’s arms to hug you. 

“Don’t. Be. A. Stranger.” Jonathan wagged his finger in your face. 

You pretended to think about it for a second. “Sorry, Jonathan. Can’t make any promises.” You patted his face giving him a confident smile.

Eddie stepped into the space Jonathan had once stood in, finding himself beside you. The indescribable urge to touch and kiss you welled in his entire being, but he attempted to keep it at bay.

“Are you gonna say goodbye? I don’t wanna hear it.” Eddie said quickly. 

You shared one last hug, hiding your face in his neck. You mumbled what you knew could be your last words to him.

“I’m afraid we will forget this. I don’t wanna forget how this feels.” 

He stepped back and gently cupped your face, staring into your eyes. “I won’t forget. I could never forget you… it’s hard to forget someone who gave me so much to remember.” 

You were unable to speak another word, lost in those chocolate-brown eyes. You hoped that your eyes would say enough. 

“shh,” he whispered, brushing his thumb across your bottom lip. “it’s okay, sweetheart.”

Your eyes locked, and your breathing quickened. A tiny spark of hope that you would kiss crossed your mind, but the sound of a door slamming snapped you out of the moment. You turned to find Marc ready and waiting for you by his car. 

“Up you go,” Eddie said, in a voice he was fighting to keep steady. He leaned in close, gently, and whispered, “I’ll miss you.” 

He stepped back again, you both just staring at each other awestruck. Dazzled. In his mind, he kept repeating, “I’m never gonna be okay with being apart. I’m gonna keep missing the hell out of you,“ but he couldn’t find the strength to tell you that.  

One side of his mouth pulled up into your favorite uneven smile. You couldn’t catch your breath soon enough to reply and just tried to smile back. The words stuck in your throat as you saw the lost light in his eyes just before he turned and walked away. 

You waved your goodbyes to the others and joined Marc, ready to start the ride. Through it all, you sat numbly in the car, tears leaking steadily from your eyes, while you left your heart, your whole life behind, heading into the unknown. 

Several beer cans were spread out in the trailer’ living room, and Wayne’s heart ached when he noticed a wasted Eddie with his head on the table. 

“Boy, are you ok?” he asked, knowing already the answer.

“She left. Why leave me? Why no one stays? What am I going to do now she is gone?” the intrusive thoughts were fighting their way into Eddie’s mind and were winning. 

“C’mon, boy, as much as heartbroken you must be now… she must have felt the same pain when leaving; she is crazy about you.”

“All I ever wanted was to be enough for her. But I’m not. Do we get what we deserve? Because it seems that I surely don’t deserve her. Why would I? She is now going to college while I’m here, stuck repeating the senior year. I wanted to be a perfect guy and be important, but why would she want someone like me? She would never want…” 

Eddie was speaking so fast, his breathing increasing as he was getting increasingly anxious, until Wayne put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. 

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself, Eddie. You need to see yourself as worthy of love, son, because you are.”

“I’m not; I’m just a fucked up mess.” he tried to push Wayne away, but Wayne decided not to leave Eddie’s side. “I always thought that loving someone, giving that much authority to one person was scary, but you see… that’s the easiest part. I would give my whole life to her without thinking twice - but the problem is that my life is not valuable, not enough for her, and that’s scary.”

“Being receptive to affection is one of the things that trauma steals from us, boy, and it hurts me to see this happening to you.” Wayne caressed Eddie’s hair. “I’ve already been in that moment of not accepting, or rather forgetting how to accept good things… and I can tell you that pain can put us in places that are complicated and far away from the ones we care about, and we can get lost… you don’t have to go through that.

“It’s not that easy! When I saw all those romantic movies with her, I understood why she loved them, but I never wanted to live them... I mean, can you imagine loving someone so deeply that when they leave, you crumble into pieces?” he sighed. “And here I am, feeling just like them. And I know what comes next, a pain that will engulf me so much that I won’t be able to eat, sleep or drink properly… I felt it before when we were apart, and now it will be even worse.”

“So you would rather not love her, then…”

“Loving her is the best thing that could have happened to me! But it’s the worst for her! I only mean trouble for her.”

“Life is trouble, son. You’ve got to fight for what you want.”

Eddie spent so long trying to convince himself he did the right thing but wasn’t so sure anymore. He didn’t know what to think. 

“I don’t have the right to hold her life up. I can’t fight for her if that’s not what she wants. I need to respect her decisions, and she decided to go away. There’s nothing I could do.”

Eddie got up and left, not wanting to argue anymore. Wayne sighed - He knew how good for each other you were, how you always encouraged and supported each other, how you saved each other. And he could only hope that this would not be lost forever because he didn’t want to see Eddie suffering. 

Eddie’s eyes drifted across his bedroom as he slowly entered. Every corner had something that reminded him of you, of the connection you two had, a sense of bittersweet nostalgia. What once was his happy place now felt empty and hollow. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw your trembling lips trying to form a smile in that farewell moment. The weight of unspoken words pressed heavily upon his heart.

He sank onto the edge of the bed, letting out a sigh, replaying the moment of your parting in his mind - you have left for college, to your new beginning, while his feelings remained locked away, unvoiced - as these emotions surged, a whirlwind of frustration and regret filled his chest - he wanted to believe it was the right thing to do, he didn’t want to hold you back from pursuing your dreams, but with every minute away from you, his doubts gnawed at his resolve.

Amid his thoughts, a sudden flicker of color caught his eye. The folded piece of paper was on the nightstand amidst the chaos of scattered textbooks and old photographs. Seeing your handwriting in “For Eddie” made him smile. 

He hadn’t dared to read it when you left it for him, but he hoped that your letter would have words of comfort and would help him cope with your absence. His trembling hands reached out to retrieve it, and his heart skipped a beat as he unfolded the note.

“FUCK! SHIT, SHIT, NO!” Eddie yelled, his frustration growing into a potent mix of anger and regret, settling like a heavy fog, enveloping his senses, making him throw things around - while broken fragments stayed scattered on the floor, his tears burning their way down his cheeks. 

He sank to his knees, clutching the note tightly in his hands. It was a poignant reminder of the depths of feelings and the missed opportunity to express them. With every fiber of his being, Eddie wished he could turn back time and rewrite the script of your farewell.

Instead of the heartful, lengthy letter that Eddie expected, you wrote only 4 simple words to him:

“Ask me to stay.”

💜 For all of you that are still reading this, thank you, thank you! This story is my little baby, a coping mechanism for me and writing it helps me feel better, and I can't believe that there are people that actually read it! 🥰 Your feedback, likes, reblogs, and comments make my day!

@sidthedollface2 @bimbobaggins69 @moonmoosblog @corrodedseraphine @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @basketcaseeeeee @chloe-6123 @tlclick73 @them-cute-boys @mushroomelephant @crook3d-strang3r @ingridvasquez @vulcrum332 @1paire2vans @strangerthingsstories5255 @stranger-messenger @mitenchii @sherrylyn628 @sapphire4082

#eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #fanfic #ao3 fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x female character #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson x female oc #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson friends to lovers #stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #fanfiction #eddie munson fanfiction #joseph quinn #eddie munson slow burn #slow burn #eddie my beloved #fluff #angts #stranger things fic

[lil-melody-moon]

Hello Mel! I hope you’re doing well 🥰 I’ve seen that you reblogged the album ask thingy. I’m not sure if I have to give you the name of the album and a number or just the album and you answer all of the questions. So, If it’s not too much to ask, can you answer all of the 10 questions about Quadrophenia? I know how much you love that album and I’d like to know your thoughts on that one❤️ Also, you know how much I love to see your posts talking about the music you love hehe. Love ya <3

Hello, I've been doing so so but thank you for asking <3

The thing for it is to give a name for the album and some numbers, but what you ask for is perfect! I was hoping for someone to asking about "Quadrophenia", thank you that it was you! So without further ado.

1. Favourite and least favourite track?

Oh Gosh this will be difficult.

"5:15" is my favorite track of the whole album because of a few things. First being the fact that this was the first song I heard from this album. Funny story, mom wrote down a Depeche Mode song called "Little 15" and she wrote that it is a The Who song so I typed it in and "5:15" came up so we've listened. Mom didn't like it very much, but I fucking vibed - you can imagine my sheer surprise when I've found the album where this song was. Also, The Who's compilation CD I have has three tracks from "Quadrophenia" and "5:15" is one of them. Those three are never played quietly on dad's stereo system, never.

Now to the least favorite I actually don't know if I have one like that. I literally love every track on this album, but maybe I'll go with "I Am The Sea" because it's only an ambient of waves - which is very nice as an opening, considering how the story on album opens with "The Real Me", but ya know. Almost no music.

2. Side A or B? (for later releases: first half or second half; for doubles: A, B, C or D?)

This is a double so I have to choose between C and D - A and B are good too, but the rest of the tracks after "5:15" my beloved <3

And I think I'll go with C so that would include: "5:15", "Sea and Sand", "Drowned" and "Bell Boy". There's just something in those tracks that makes me get lost in music each time I hear them. I'm always missing the point where "Sea and Sand" ends and "Drowned" starts. Either it's so smoothly going from one to the other or I'm just so lost between notes. Plus there's "Bell Boy" come on, how could I not pick this side? XD

3. Thoughts on the cover art/packaging?

Just look at this beauty! Washed from colors, depressing with only Jimmy on the cover while the rest of the band is seen in the side mirrors. The cover speaks for itself. The first time I saw it I just felt I was up to listen to something good and damn, I wasn't wrong. I love the cover so much that I would be glad to have it as a poster in my room. I'm not joking, I even saw a similar big flag to buy and if I had money and space in my room for it, I would buy it - this album is my religion <3

4. Are any of the tracks important/meaningful to you? Why?

Oh God, the whole album is important, but if I have to narrow it to a few songs... I will talk about very personal stuff here.

"Cut My Hair" Now this is like an opening track to the beginning of the story, to see how Jimmy feels emotionally, but the tone and the entire setting of how his life looked, now that is what brought my attention right from the beginning. The guy just doesn't fit in, feels like an outcast and this verse right there:

Why do I have to be different to them? Just to earn the respect of a dance hall friend Have the same old row again and again Why do I have to move with a crowd Of kids that hardly notice I'm around? I work myself to death just to fit in

It reminds me of my days when i tried to fit in the society I live in. Now, I literally don't care how other see me, but I can see that with my clothing, interests, way of thinking I just don't fit in and I probably never will. But I gave up on "moving with a crowd" long time ago. And from here, my dear friend, things started rolling.

"I'm One"

This one is a simple matter, first verse bringing this in:

Every year is the same And I feel it again I'm a loser - no chance to win Leaves start falling Come down is calling Loneliness starts sinking in

Describing the loneliness Jimmy feels is very personal. I might not show it, but I'm a really lonely person, not being able to find the second half, searching for some understanding on that matter. I have the luck to have my mom who understands me because she was going through the same, but ya know. It ain't the same as having a boyfriend. Plus I just love how the last three lines of lyrics in this verse creates that autumn vibe <3

"Drowned"

Just because of the general tone and a call for freedom. The only ones truly free in this world are birds, we as humans are not. This chorus:

Let me flow into the ocean Let me get back to the sea Let me be stormy, let me be calm Let the tide in and set me free

Speaks exactly about it. Just to be free as the ocean's waves, it just sounds so nice <3

"Love Reign O'er Me"

I see this song as a call/prayer for love, for some understanding and affection. On top of that, it's also the emotional conclusion of the whole story, chaotic one, but so good to listen to every time. I think the most beautiful verse in this song is this one:

Only love can bring the rain That makes you yearn to the sky Only love can bring the rain That falls like tears from on high

I had the luck to discover this album and get first stage obsessed with it after watching a documentary talking about Keith Moon's death. I had the luck to fall in love with this song at that time and this verse which I quote here is exactly how I felt back then about it. Doesn't mean I feel differently about this song now, oh no, actually this song is the most meaningful to me from the few I've mentioned. I will sound insane now, but lonely heart searches for replacements and mine found such a one in this lunatic. Yep, I'm in love with Keith Moon. Can't help it, just like I can't help it but connect this song somehow to this weird situation.

5. When did you first hear the album?

UMN... September last year, I'm sure of it. Second The Who album I've listened to, wait a bit. ...23rd of September actually (month after Keith's birthday, can my discovering of The Who and him somehow become even more weird?). I had this album wrote down to listen to later after discovering "5:15" by accident as I've described above. I remember this day clearly.

I was fresh after lunch, excited actually just by seeing the cover. Listened to it once and then it went on repeat. I had to listen to it three times to have enough for one day. And it played for the entire week without breaks. This was just the beginning of my obsession with it tho XD

6. Have your thoughts on the album changed since you first heard it?

Yep they did. From first: "This is great" to the now "Favorite album of the 70s" I had like three stages with this one.

First stage obsession was the first week that it played each day.

Then came the second stage at the beginning of this year, just after I've watched the movie.

To then come to the third stage when I'm playing this album whenever I feel bad or songs from it are stuck in my head. A religion, you should understand XD

7. Are you a fan of other works by the artist/in the genre?

Of course! I will not rank The Who's albums here, but every single one of them has something good in it. Every single one is somehow different. I don't know how did they pull this off, but they did and OH am I so glad for that!

Also, I can kind of call myself a fan of Pete Townshend, especially if it comes to lyrics, I fucking adore how he writes and honestly I can't wait to have free time to get to his solo albums <3

8. A lyric you like from the album

I actually talked about this one in The Who ask, but here, a fragment from "Bell Boy":

Some nights I still sleep on the beach Remember when stars were in reach Then I wander in early to work Spend my day licking boots for my perks

Love Keith's soft voice in this one, I adore it. There are no words that could describe what I feel when I hear him there.

9. How did you discover the album?

Like I've said, through my mom's mistake, but it was a day after I've listened to "Who's Next" that I went to see other songs by The Who and "5:15" started playing randomly. I recognized it immediately and I wrote down the name of the album, just to give it a listen a few days later.

10. Do you own/would you like to own a physical copy of the album?

I don't own a physical copy of it, but I want it, I really want it at home. It's as important to me as getting "Help!" and "Abbey Road" by The Beatles and those two were a must at home. Same with "Waiting for the Sun" by The Doors. All three mentioned are at home already, "Quadrophenia" has to be here as well.

But I will say this. I will feel sorry for my neighbors once I get it. I can't play the three tracks quietly, let alone the entire album XD

#thanks for asking! #this was a lot of fun! #ask corner

[absoluteindulgence]

A/N: HEEEEY YOU GUYSSSSSS, I POPPED THESE HEADCANONS OUT OF NOWHWEREEEE. I KNOW ITS BEEN A WHILE, DONT COME FOR ME JUST READ AND TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT LOL🤎✨️✨️✨️ I will say tho I wrote this from my phone because like the goofy I am, I spilled water on my laptop and gotta get it replaced🤭 So any edits I need to make will be in the near future🤎 Also Ironically I'm posting this 4:44PM☺️

Toji with Yoga!Girlfriend

SFW

He's learned what it means to be calm. You would meditate around him and at first he would always want to break your focus but afterward he'd sit with you and just breathe. He found it extremely calming when a rush of anger would wash over him.

He's in awe at the many Yoga Poses you can do and how focused you are when executing them. He's worked hard to bulk up his body but he can't say that he's as balanced as you. Which is why he has so much respect for you too.

Let's be real, you're over here talking about the healing power of crystals and he does not believe in none of that shit. It takes for him to have an out-of-the-blue migraine to do your "mumbo jumbo shit" on him and he might only admit that for a second, it worked. But he believes just laying in your lap is what did the trick.

You smell so fucking nice. You're the type to use essential oils more than perfume and it shows. Any scent that you're using that day is stuck to you and becomes your natural scent. One that's so pleasant it keeps Toji in your space more than usual.

You're highly intentional with your actions and he can sense it. You have this layer of love, honesty, and devotion that keeps him on his toes. It's hard to make him breathless but you're such a wonderful woman that he looks to you for comfort in more than just the sexual sense. You've proven to be a great pillar in his life and he's smitten by you based on how you're so open to loving him and in return, he provides the love and protection you desire. In his way, he'll cheerily thank a star for aligning you "or some shit" together. You give him a level of stability he's never seen or had in a very long time.

NSFW

Now this man has spun the block a couple of times but damn would he feel like there are way too many new experiences with you.

This man did not know what Kegels were until you showed him on one particular rainy day. This was closer to the beginning of your relationship and you would say, "Hey Babe, let's try something new" You're ideas usually come out more good than bad so he doesn't deny you. The first time you tighten yourself around him, the face he makes is voided of all smugness, it's a culmination of shock and humor. "Fuck, Treasure... How are you doing that????" His brows furrow too tight as he comprehends real "Pussy Power". Let's just say thunderstorms weren't the only thing to erupt.

The massages you give this man always lead him to visit heaven. You touch him in ways that he thought were just simple and had no other meaning than its initial reaction. Every graze from your fingertips stimulates his mind further than what he's expected to feel. His stiffy gets all twitchy, and the usual tense and ready-to-defend muscles relax. He instantly exhales when touched by you. Your hands are so skilled, you gently graze over all the sensitive spots he has and treat them with delicate consideration heightening his experience. The way your fingers caress the tip of his manhood trailing down the shaft, with a gentle kneading of his swollen, ready-to-burst balls is enough to get the most intense guttural groans ever known out of him.

You create such sensual atmospheres for him that he's taken aback. Incense or aroma diffusers, slow jams playing at a low volume in the back, you bought these twinkling lights for a dreamy effect, and after a while they leave him charmed to say the least.

This goes without saying but he loves to watch you stretch. It's a reminder of the limits he can set on your body since you prep every day. He's eager to see which way you'll bend for him just to get to that right spot. Arch perfectly sloped, HAMMERTIME. Sucking him off while doing a bridge, how many kids you want? Or something as simple as tucking your legs behind your head? You're in trouble for the rest of the night!

The worst of it all is you introducing him to Kamasutra... You told him you want to do every position. No matter how weird or uncomfortable it might be and man, you wore this man out one night in particular. It's the first time during sex that he's ever tapped out and you paid for it in the next sex session lol

#fushiguro toji #big daddy toji #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji x yoga!girlfriend #let yo body do that yoga #jjk fanfic #jjk headcanons #jjk character x you #jjk character x reader #Mar☆Posts

[mrsnancywheeler]

me explaining songs I think were written about each other in the billy's muse, eddie, billy universe except they're all fleetwood mac

reader wrote dreams with daisy, like 100% and it's a hit for their band and billy hates that because he knows you wrote it with her about him

"now here you go again, you say you want your freedom. well, who am I to keep you down?"

"in the stillness of remembering what you had, and what you lost"

"oh thunder only happens when it's raining. players only love you when they're playing. say, women, they will come and they will go. when the rain washes you clean, you'll know"

billy writes a scathing go your own way

"loving you, isn't the right thing to do"

"you can go your own way, go your own way, you can call it another lonely day"

but a love song he writes is songbird

"and I feel that when I'm with you, it's right, I know it's right"

"and the songbirds are singing like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before".

with some help from daisy, eddie writes "I don't wanna know'

"I don't wanna know the reasons why love keeps right on walking on down the line. I don't wanna stand tween you and love honey, I just want you to feel fine."

"finally, baby, the truth has come down now, take a listen to your spirit, it's crying out loud"

another song from billy that details your private life too much is "gold dust woman"

"rock on, gold dust woman. take your silver spoon, dig your grave"

"make you break down? shatter your illusions of love? and is it over now, do you know how? pick up the pieces and go home'

eddie's other song about reader "say you love me" about the times they've spent together thst have been so close to really being together and trust billy hates it

"have mercy, baby, on a poor girl like me. you know I'm falling, falling, falling at your feet"

"cause when the loving starts and the lights go down, and there's not another living soul around, then you woo me until the sun comes up and you say that you love me"

reader and daisy write landslide, no explanation

another billy love song is everywhere

"you know I'm proud and I can't get the words out, oh I, I want to be with you everywhere"

that's all for now because this is a lot but literally it's all I can think about

#wanda 💋 #billy dunne x reader angst #billy dunne angst #billy dunne x reader #billy dunne #eddie roundtree #djats x reader

[zrooper]

Dee & Maya - First Contact

A short story I wrote for a writing prompt about a clumsy robot, figured I'd post it here as well.

_______ <Attempt 56: Lump of dirt>

The dirt is approximately 1.45 kg in mass. I have gathered it into a rough spherical shape. When I attempted to hold the dirt it broke apart in my hands. 

Failure. Further experimentation is needed.

<Conversation log M6326>

Q: You’re a mess! Have you been digging all day?

R: It is an experiment I am conducting.

Q: On dirt?

R: The dirt is a medium for sensory calibration.

Q: I feel like there’s a better way to do that. Come on, let’s get you washed up.

<Conversation marked high priority for preservation> -------

<Attempt 64: Lump of colorful clay>

The clay is approximately 700g in mass. It is pale cyan in color. As Maya said, this artificial clay holds together much better than the dirt had. I have gathered it into a rough spherical shape. It does not break when I hold it, but further inspection revealed deep groves where my grip has deformed the sphere. 

Failure. Further experimentation is needed.

<Conversation log M6574>

Q: It’s cute to see you play with that.

R: Cute? Can you elaborate on this observation?

Q: Well usually play-dough is used by... You know what, nevermind.

R: What is the purpose of the colors?

Q: You shape it into sculptures. If you like what you make, you can bake it to preserve the shape.

R: I see.

Q: You’re really focused, eh? Will you make me something?

R: If that will please you, I will.

Q: I’ll have to make something for you too then.

<Conversation marked high priority for preservation> ------

<Attempt 396: Block of colorful clay>

The clay is approximately 3.25kg in mass. I have gathered it into a rough cylindrical shape. I have lowered the power output to my manipulation motors to just below minimum specifications. I was able to lift and replace the cylinder without significantly altering its shape. However, at a further attempt to lift the clay my right side manipulator failed due to power shortage. The clay was dropped, and it incurred significant damage upon impact with the floor.

Unacceptable failure. Further experimentation is needed. -----

<Conversation log M7050>

Q: You seem upset.

R: Upset? Can you elaborate on this observation?

Q: Your movements, your body language. For instance, your cooling vent has opened and closed five times since I arrived.

R: I am devoting large system resources to my experiment.

Q: And it isn’t going well? Are you not getting the shape you wanted?

R: That is... Correct.

Q: Sculpting is a difficult art, you won’t be able to master it fast even if you work all night.

R: I have been working during nighttime.

Q: Which means you skipped your maintenance cycle too. You shouldn’t do that.

R: The timescale priorities were-

Q: Were wrong. Your health comes first. Come along now.

R: Yes.

Q: Don’t skip your maintenance again, no matter how cute your focus is.

R: Cute? Can you elaborate on this observation?

<Conversation marked high priority for preservation> ------

<Attempt 849: Block of colorful clay>

The clay is approximately 3.22kg in mass. I have gathered it into an elliptic cylindrical shape. I have placed the clay on a high table, and attempted to surround it with my manipulator limbs without deforming it. The sensation was pleasant, however upon withdrawing grooves were observed on the back of it.

Failure. Further experimentation is needed. ------

<Conversation log M7212>

Q: I have a surprise for you.

R: You often act outside my expectations, Maya.

Q: It’s a special surprise this time, Dee. Do you want to see it?

R: I do.

Q: Ta-da! What do you think?

R: It appears to be a protective vest, manufactured by-

Q: By me! Well, I modified an existing one.

R: How have you modified it?

Q: I added a haptic sensory system, like the one in VR rigs. That way, you don’t have to worry about crushing me.

R: You were aware.

Q: I know you were upset since you broke my finger by accident that one time. I saw you were making an effort, so it was my responsibility to repay your effort.

R: You didn’t have to.

Q: I did, that’s what you do for the ones you love. Now, do you want to help me try it out? I think you’ve needed a hug now for a long time.

<Conversation marked top priority for preservation.>

<Attempt 849 redesignated as partial success>

#short story #robot #wlw #my stories #science fiction #romance

[jule1122]

Malex Fic - Love will get you there

Made with a day to spare!  This is my March fic for @alexguerinappreciation.  I choose the spotlight of Alex’s canon relationships.  I consider this a Malex fic because that is where we end up, but this is both pre canon and post canon so I write about Alex’s family, his relationship with Maria and Forrest on the way to Malex’s happy ending. 

It’s a 5 +1  about 5 times Alex wanted to change his name before the one time he finally does it.  Warnings for canon child abuse.

If you hate Maria or Forrest, please don’t read this.  Also if you really like Jim Valenti, you may not like how I wrote him.

Love will get you there on AO3

Summary: Alex was never much of a Manes man or 5 times Alex thought about changing his name and 1 time he did 

Title is from an Inhaler song.

I am going to put the whole fic behind the cut because it opens with Jesse being abusive.  Nothing graphic but I wanted to give an extra warning.

1.

“What did I tell you?”  Jesse leans in close to Alex’s face.  He doesn’t yell, he doesn’t need to.

“Don’t leave toys on the floor,” Alex sniffs.  His dad tightens his hold on Alex’s shirt.  “Sir,” Alex adds quickly before his dad can hit him again.

“I won’t warn you again, Alex.  Next time there will be real consequences.”

Alex tries to wiggle out of Jesse’s hold.  His back is sore from where his father used his belt.  Just thinking what will happen if he forgets to clean up again makes him start crying again.  He tries to hold back his tears, hoping his father won’t notice and ends up hiccuping.

“Manes men don’t cry,”  Jesse shakes Alex roughly before pushing him away.  “You're confined to your room for the rest of the evening.  Maybe some time alone will help you remember how to behave.”

Alex runs to his room, he wants to slam the door but he knows if he does his father will follow him and punish him again.  Instead, he hides between his bed and the wall and cries silently.  Once he calms down, he takes his camping bag from his closet and begins filling it with clothes.

“What are you doing, dork,” Clay asks from the doorway.

Alex startles and wipes his eyes before turning to face his brother.  Clay is almost as mean as his father, and he’s afraid to let him see him cry.  “I’m leaving.  I’m going to live with Mom.”

“Mom doesn’t want you, dummy.  She doesn’t want any of us.”

“That’s not true,” Alex insists.  He doesn’t yell even though he wants to because he doesn’t want his dad to hear him.  “If I tell her Dad hurt me, she’ll come get me.”

“No, she won’t,” Clay tells him.  “She’s been gone almost a year, and she hasn’t called once.  She’s not going to help you.  Even if she wanted to, Dad would find you and bring you back.  Manes men stick together, remember.”

“I don’t want to be a Manes man,” Alex says miserably.  He hates being a Manes, he hates all the rules.  Manes men don’t cry or laugh too loud or sing.  Manes men don’t waste their time watching cartoons or playing with girls.  He hates all of it.

“Grandpa will hide me.  I’ll change my name so people will know I belong with Grandpa, and  Dad won’t find me because I won’t be a Manes,”  Alex nods, confident he’s solved the problem.  

“You’re so stupid.  You’ll embarrass Grandpa just like you embarrass Dad.  He’d bring you back himself just to get rid of you.” Clay shakes his head.  “You’re a Manes, Alex, whether you like it or not.   You need to start acting like one before you bring all of us down.”

Alex turns away from Clay and ignores him until he leaves.  He takes everything out of his bag and puts it back, not bothering to wipe the tears from his face since there was no one to see him.  Clay’s right.  No one wants him so he’s stuck being a Manes.

2.

Alex kicks his feet against the edge of the exam room table until his father glares at him, and he goes back to sitting perfectly still.  He can hear the doctor explaining his restrictions and medication dosages to Jesse as the nurse adjusts his sling.  Alex lets the words wash over him, his dad will probably make him take the sling off as soon as they get in the car, and he won’t be giving Alex any pain meds.

It wasn’t like this was the first time Jesse had separated Alex’s shoulder so he’s used to the pain.  In the past, they’d always put it back in at home, but this time Jesse couldn’t get it to pop back into place.  He kept trying until Alex was throwing up from the pain, and then he finally drove Alex to the emergency room.

“Now Mr. Manes, I need you to step out of the room for a few minutes.”

“Sergeant Manes,” Jesse corrects the doctor.  “And if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to take my son home now.  He’s fine, there’s no reason to keep fussing.”

“Sergeant Manes,” the doctor begins again.  Alex almost smiles because he could hear the eye roll in the doctor’s voice.  “It’s procedure, which I’m sure you understand.  If you’ll just follow me, I can get you started on the discharge paperwork, and you’ll be on your way shortly.”  

Jesse stops in front of Alex on his way out.  “I’ll be right outside, Alex.”

Alex knows he’s pretending to be concerned, making sure the doctor thinks he cares.  He tightens his hand on Alex’s good shoulder enough to hurt.  It’s a warning to remind Alex that Jesse expects Alex to behave as if he’s in the room. Alex nods to let him know he understands.

“Alex,” the nurse directs his attention back to her once Jesse is gone.  “There is someone we’d like you to talk to.  Remember this is a safe space.  It’s ok to tell the truth.”

Sheriff Valenti comes in through a door opposite of where Jesse had left.  He follows the nurse into the corner, away from Alex, but the room is small, and Alex can still hear everything they say.

“He came in with a separated shoulder,”  the nurse begins.

“Alex is from an active family. Four boys, lots of roughhousing,” Jim interrupts.

“His x-ray showed scar tissue in the joint.  This isn’t the first time this has happened, and we also saw evidence of older untreated injuries.  I’m sure you understand why we’re concerned, Sheriff.” 

“I’ll talk to him.  Alone please.”

“Of course,” the nurse replies before leaving.

Jim walks to the foot of Alex’s bed.  “How are you feeling?

“Fine, sir.”  Alex isn’t lying.  They gave him a shot before they reset his shoulder, and he feels good.  Tired but not in pain.

“You want to tell me what happened, son?”

Alex used to pretend Jim Valenti was his father.  When Jesse really started hurting him, he imagined the Sheriff rescuing him and taking Alex home and promising Alex that he wouldn’t let Jesse hurt him anymore.  Then he’d admit that he was Alex’s real father, that he’d kept it a secret, but he would tell the truth to protect Alex.  He would let Alex live at his house, and Alex and Kyle would be brothers for real.

He would close his eyes and imagine Jesse showing up to take him back, and Jim stopping him.  He would stand in the doorway with his hand on Alex’s shoulder and tell Jesse, “Alex is a Valenti now.  You can’t hurt him anymore.  Don’t ever come back here again or I’ll have to arrest you.”

It’s a stupid dream, Alex knows that, but maybe it’s because Jim called him son that he decides to tell the truth.  “It was my dad,” he says.  “He was mad at me and this was my punishment.”

The Sheriff looks sad for a minute, and Alex thinks this is it - Jim will take him home, and he’ll finally be safe.  Maybe his dad will even go to jail, and he’ll be too afraid to even talk to Alex again.

Then he takes a step back and when he looks at Alex, he’s serious - not like Kyle’s dad, but like when Alex has seen him working.

“Alex, are you sure that’s what happened?  That is a serious accusation, and if you tell me that is what happened, I’ll have to let your father know what you said,” he says it kindly, but Alex knows it’s as much of a threat as Jesse’s shoulder squeeze had been.   “It’s easy to get confused when you are in pain,” the Sheriff continues.   “Maybe you are mixing up the pain you felt when your dad tried to help you with when you were injured.”

“You’re right,” Alex says flatly, the last of his dreams of rescue vanishing.  “I was fooling around with my brothers on the training course, and that’s how I hurt my shoulder.  My dad tried to fix it, and that hurt too.  I must have been confused.”

“That’s what I thought,” Jim sounds proud, and it makes Alex want to cry.  “Thanks for clearing that up.  You’ll be able to go home soon.”

Jim starts to leave, but he turns back to hug Alex carefully.  “You’re strong, Alex,” he whispers. “And nothing lasts forever.  Remember that.”

He does leave then, and Alex gets up to follow him, to ask him why he acts like he cares, but won’t help him, but he hears his father’s voice outside the door.

“What are you doing here, Jim?” Jesse asks.

“The hospital called in a suspicious injury.  You’re lucky I got the call and not one of my deputies.”

“How I discipline my son is no one’s business.  I don’t care what some bleeding heart doctor thinks.”

“I know that, Jesse,” Jim tries to calm him.  “But I can’t always be around to cover for you.”

“I’m not going to coddle him like you do your son.  Alex is a Manes.  He needs to toughen up.  Until he figures that out, he can take whatever punishment he deserves.”

“Just keep him out of the hospital and there won’t be a problem.”

Alex hears Jim walk away, and he’s back on the table, expression blank by the time his father opens the door.

3.

Alex doesn’t see Maria the day after Haley Moore’s party.  His penalty for taking part in Battle of the Bands is a day at his father’s mercy.  Alex cleans out the garage and runs through his father’s training course three times just to prove music doesn’t make him weak.  By the time the sun sets he is sore and exhausted and wants to die, but he’s been uncharacteristically cooperative all day so Jesse doesn’t object when Alex says he wants to shower and go to bed.

Back in his room, he picks up his phone and wonders if he should call Maria.  He knows what happens during ‘seven minutes in heaven’ doesn’t count once you leave the closet, and Maria hadn’t acted any different the rest of the night, but Alex can’t help but think about it.

It felt nice - kissing Maria, letting his hand brush across her chest.  He thinks he could do it again, and Alex never really imagined kissing a girl before.  Maybe if he could kiss Maria, be her boyfriend, his dad would back off.  Jesse doesn’t really like Maria, says she’s from bad stock - a father no one remembers and a mother who acts stranger every year.  But she’s a girl, and if Alex could love her, he wouldn’t be gay, wouldn’t be a sissy disgrace like Jesse says he is.

Alex thinks about it the rest of the night.  He tries to imagine his future with Maria. Maybe they would stay in Roswell together, and they’d still have their band and they could play at the Wild Pony once they were old enough.  Alex never thought much about having a family, but he thinks Maria would be a good mother - the kind who smiled and laughed and made kids feel loved.  He loves Maria, Alex knows that, so if he could learn to be in love with her, he could be happy, and it would be safe.

He’s still thinking about when he meets Maria at the Crashdown the next night to work on a science project.  Maria smiles at him like she always does, but she doesn’t try to hold his hand or anything.  They get their actual work done quickly, but Alex told his dad they had a lot to do so they have plenty of time to just hang out.

“Kate Long stopped by before you got here,” Maria tells him.

“I’m sorry,” Alex wrinkles his nose.  Kate is a bitch and she always gives Maria a hard time.

“Me too.  But she dropped her notebook, and I could see where she was writing ‘Kate Bernhardt’ over and over again.”

“Gross,” Alex and Maria both pretend to gag.

“No offense, Alex, but if we get married, I am not changing my name to Manes,” Maria says casually, almost like a joke.

Alex wrinkles his nose, “I’d rather be a DeLuca.”

“Alex Deluca,” Maria hums around the name as if considering it. “Mom would like that.”

“Yeah?”  Mimi is the closest person to a mother Alex has had in years.  He likes the idea of being her family officially.  “I’ll help you, you know, take care of her.”  Alex doesn’t mean only in this fantasy world where they get married, and he can tell by the way Maria’s expression softens that she understands.

“I know you will.”  She reaches across the table and squeezes his hand.  It’s not romantic but it still feels good.

Flint’s waiting for him when he gets home.  “Didn’t know girls were allowed in your kind of  closet, Alex.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  He tries to shoulder past Flint, but Flint boxes him into the corner of the room.

“Heard you spent seven minutes of heaven with Maria DeLuca.  Didn’t know you had it in you.  She put out?” Flint asks with a leer.

Alex pushes him, hard.  “Don’t talk about Maria like that.”

“Chill out,” Flint rolls his eyes and follows Alex into the bedroom.  “I just never thought I’d get to talk about girls with my sissy little brother.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Alex glares at Flint.

“Then you can shut up and listen and maybe you’ll get it right next time.”  Flint lays back in the bed, crossing his arms under his head.  “First time I did seven minutes in heaven it was with Missy Osborne.  Everyone knows she’s easy so I figured I hit the jackpot.  She let me touch her boobs, under her bra.  And God, I almost shot my load right there.  Walked around hard the rest of the night.”

Flint keeps talking but Alex tunes him out.  It hadn’t felt like that with Maria.  Kissing her felt good and safe, he would do it again, but it wasn’t like that.  Alex wonders if maybe there is something wrong with him after all.

(He feels like that with Michael.  Just brushing their hands together makes Alex’s skin tingle where they touched..  When Michael kisses him for the first time, Alex feels like his whole body is on fire.  That feeling never goes away.)

4.

Alex is walking to the store after his shift at the museum when he sees Maria scrubbing graffiti from the brick outside the Crashdown.

“Need some help?” he asks, taking a sponge from the bucket. 

“Thanks,” Maria looks up and gives him a watery smile.  “Mr. Ortecho says to leave it.  There’ll  just be more tomorrow.  But I can’t.  It’s only been a few weeks, and they just won’t stop.”

Alex nods.  He’s barely seen Maria, seen anyone since the funeral.  But he’s heard about the harassment Mr. Ortecho has been dealing with and it makes him sick.  “Sorry I haven’t been around to help.  My dad’s been on me extra hard.”

“I think all our parents are,” Maria says sadly.  “Mom only lets me come here for a few hours and wants me at home the rest of the time.”

It’s not the same at all with Jesse, but Alex just nods.

“I can’t believe I forgot,” Maria suddenly exclaims.  “I never asked you about museum guy.”

“Museum guy?”

“You sent me this text, ‘On my break I had the best kiss of my life’ and then nothing.  Come on Alex, you can’t leave me hanging.”

If it weren’t for her bloodshot eyes, she’d look like the Maria he’d always known.  He wonders if Maia’s been happy about anything since Rosa died, and he can’t bring himself to tell her that moment led to a different tragedy.  So he tries to remember how he felt when he sent that text, how he felt before his father destroyed it all.

Alex closes his eyes and it is easier than he expected to remember everything about that moment in the museum.  How he’d been afraid Michael was there to tell him off or beat him up, but then Michael kissed him and everything changed.  He knew, finally, who he was, knew there was someone who wanted him as he was.  It was the best moment of his life.

When Alex opens his eyes, Maria gasps as the smile on his face. “It was the most amazing kiss,” he begins.

“How amazing?”  Maria teases.

“So amazing I would stay in Roswell forever if he would just keep kissing me.”

Maria laughs, and it’s a happy sound even if they both know he’s lying.  Alex can’t stay in Roswell - the town will kill him if his father doesn’t do it first.  But it’s nice to imagine a world where Michael is enough to change all that.

“Who is it?” Maria asks.

“I can’t,” Alex’s smile dims.  He already failed Michael by not keeping him a secret, he won’t do it again.  “He’s not out.  I can’t tell you.”

Maria nods.  “But he’s good to you, right?”

“He’s perfect,” and Alex means it.  When it’s just him and Michael, he’s happier than he ever imagined he could be.  He already feels Michael slipping away when they’re apart, and he can’t blame him.  Michael was hurt because of him, because Alex wasn’t careful, because he couldn’t protect him.  

But Alex is clinging to the future he wants for them despite his father’s threats and pressure to enlist.  Michael has a scholarship.  If he gets out of Roswell, Alex can follow him.  He’s been doing research for years, he knows how to hide.  They can change their names so his father can’t find them.  Not the same name, not now, but someday Alex thinks, when he knows they are safe, they can share a name, share a life for real.  One his father can’t take away.

Alex doesn’t tell Maria all that.  Right now they both need to pretend everything is like it was a few weeks ago.  Alex is falling in love, and Rosa’s alive and nothing hurts.

Alex thinks about kissing Michael in the bed of his truck, the sun on their face, Michael’s hair soft in his hands.  He thinks about how carefully Michael always presses his lips against Alex’s until Alex opens his mouth and then it’s like Michael can’t get enough.  He thinks about how Michael’s skin feels under his hands, how he loves to feel the beat of Michael’s heart in his chest.  He thinks about how tightly Michael holds him in sleep like he’s trying to hold Alex in place.  And he thinks about how desperately he wants to stay in Michael’s arms forever.

“He’s perfect,” Alex tells Maria again.  “He makes me happy.”

“He’d better or he’ll have to answer to me,” Maria makes a fist, and they both laugh.  “I’m so happy for you.  You deserve this.”

Alex nods and turns back to the graffiti before Maria can see the way his smile falters.

5.

Alex leans back against the headboard and watches as Forrest starts to get dressed.  He’s enjoying the way Forrest’s briefs stretch across his ass as he stands up to look for his shirt when Forrest sits back on the bed, phone in hand.

“I envy you, getting out of Roswell for a while,” he tells Alex as he reads his message.

Alex is leaving the next morning to track down the remains of Project Shepherd, but told Forrest he was on a long term recruiting assignment.  Forrest had come over with take out and a strip of condoms to ‘see Alex off.’

“Maybe if I’m in one place long enough, you can come visit,” Alex offers.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Forrest turns to Alex with a smile before going back to typing furiously on his phone.  “I am definitely ready for a change of scenery.”  Forrest tosses the phone on the bed before pulling on his pants.

“Everything ok?” Alex asks, surprised by the bitterness lacing Forrest’s voice.  He’s never really seen him irritated before.

“Sorry, it’s just my uncle scolding me for offending one of his cronies.  He likes to remind me that everything I do reflects on the Long name,” Forrest rolls his eyes.

“What happened?”

“Some guy came up to me at the diner and wanted to know why I hadn’t been at the last few meetings of the Roswell Regiment.  He told me my family had a long standing tradition of standing between Roswell and undesirable elements, and it was time for my generation to step up.”

“Ouch,” Alex commiserated. He knew more than most about the weight of unwanted family legacies.

“I told him I was too busy sucking cock to play cowboys and Indians with the people on the wrong side of history.

Alex laughs because he can hear Forrest saying that.  “Well if they had a meeting in the last hour,” Alex pretends to look at a watch he’s not wearing, “I can vouch for your story.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate the first hand account.”  Forrest sighs and runs his hand through his hair.  “You’d think between my hair and the general aurora of gay, they would understand that white supremacy and racism aren’t really my thing.  But they think all Longs are the same.”

“Being a Long sounds as bad as being a Manes,” Alex tells him.

“Does that mean you won’t take my name when we get married?”  Forrest asks, all smiles again.

“Absolutely not,” Alex says without even needing to think about it.

Forrest clutches his hands over his heart and gasps dramatically, pretending to be hurt.

It’s cute; Forrest is cute so Alex leans forward and kisses him.  He ignores the twist of wrongness in his stomach at the thought of marrying someone other than Michael.  He knows he and Michael are over for good, but he isn’t ready to start thinking about anyone else with the same seriousness.  

When Forrest kisses him back, Alex moves so he is straddling Forrest’s lap.  “Besides,” he whispers against his lips, “I’m not the marrying type.”

“Oh?” Forrest asks, sliding his hands under Alex’s ass and pulling him closer.  “What type are you?”

Alex bites back his instinctive response of ‘not the type who gets a happy ending.’  Things with Forrest are fun and easy, and Alex wants to keep them that way.  He pushes Forrest onto his back  and tells him, “I guess you’ll just have to find out,” before kissing him again and making sure talking is the last thing on either of their minds.

+1

Michael isn’t the first person he tells or even the second.  Alex doesn’t think anything of it because to him it’s obvious, and it never occurs to him that Michael just won’t know.

He tells Greg when Greg calls to confirm he can’t make the wedding.

“I’m so sorry, Alex.  I have an oral exam and an observation that can’t be rescheduled,” Greg says with obvious regret.

“It’s ok,” Alex reassures him.  He’d love to have Greg there - he’s the only real family Alex has.  But they didn’t really give him any notice.  “If we were planning ahead we would pick a date that works for everyone, but.” Alex trails off, not sure how to articulate the urgency he and Michael feel. Why waiting just isn’t an option.

“I get it, Alex, I really do.  After everything you and Michael have been through, you want to grab your happiness as soon as you can.  I am just so happy for you, for both of you.  And I’ll be back in a few months so you can show me all the pictures, videos, everything.”

“I think Isobel has an Oscar worthy production planned,” Alex laughs.

“I can’t wait,” Greg replies warmly.

“There’s one more thing,” Alex begins hesitantly.  “I’m taking Michael’s name.”

Greg doesn’t respond and the silence stretches out.  Alex hopes Greg doesn’t object.  It won’t change anything, Alex has made his decision.  But he’d like to have Greg’s support.

“Greg?” Alex prompts.

“Alex,” Greg says, voice thick before he clears his throat.  “I’m so proud of you.  I know how hard it’s been for you to let go of all the bullshit Dad shoved down your throat, to forget about the Manes legacy.  I’ve been afraid for a long time that you would never be able to put it behind you.  And now you're marrying the love of your life and starting a whole new life.  I don’t even know what to say.”

“You’re not upset?”  Alex can’t stop himself from asking.

“You’re my brother, Alex. I love you, and I want you to be happy.  That’s it.”

“Thanks,” Alex says, his own throat tight.  He wants to tell Greg he loves him too, but those aren’t words that were ever said in his house.  It’s been hard enough learning to say them to Michael, to stop feeling like it was safer to hold them inside.  But there’s something else he can say that Greg will understand.  “I want that for you too - happiness.  I’m free now, Greg, and I want you to be too.”

Alex stops by Eduardo’s office the next day.  

“What are you doing here,” Eduardo asks when he spots Alex in the doorway.  “Don’t you have a wedding in less than twenty four hours?”

“Kyle wanted a final checkup,” Alex shrugs.

“And?” Eduardo asks, eyes narrowing in concern.

“Clean bill of health,” Alex reassures him.  “And speaking of the wedding, I was hoping I could ask you for a favor.”

“Of course.”

“You know Michael and I have a honeymoon planned,” he begins.

“Yes, a month, I believe,” Eduardo fills in.  “That can be extended if you want more time.”

“I’m learning I’ll always want more time with Michael,” Alex laughs.  “But I think a month away is a good start.  Once we’re married, I want to change my name to Guerin.  I know the process can take time, and I don’t want to wait until we get back from our honeymoon to get started.  I was wondering if there is anything Deep Sky can do to speed things up?”

Eduardo leans back in his chair and smiles.  “Just leave everything to me.”

Alex feels Michael stumble just a bit when he tells him he’ll be signing his checks ‘Alex Guerin” from now on.  He accepts Alex’s explanation without any further questions, and then there’s so much going on - well wishes and goodbyes, Max leaving, finally putting Roswell behind them even if it’s only for a month - that they don’t talk about it again.

Three days into their honeymoon, when they return to their hotel after dinner, the concierge hands them an envelope he says was delivered for them earlier.

The outside just has their room number, no indication of who it’s from.  It’s the right size for weight for pictures.  Alex turns it over in his hands before holding it out to Michael.

“Maybe Isobel dropped off wedding pictures,” Michael speculates, coming to the same conclusion, when holding it up to the light doesn’t yield anymore information.

“I doubt Isobel drove six hours to drop off wedding pictures.”

“Only one way to find out,” Michael shrugs and hands the envelope back to Alex.

Alex sits at the small table in what passes for a dining area in their suite and waits for Michael to join him before he opens it.  He pulls out the contents and lets out a small gasp.  Alex holds his driver’s license, now labeled ‘Alex Guerin” in his hands, lets his updated passport and credit cards fall to the table.

Michael leans closer to see what he’s holding.  “That was fast,” he comments, picking up and skimming the note Eduardo left. He congratulates them again and lets Alex know the rest of his updated documents - employee ID, bank accounts, social security card - are locked in the safe in his office.

Alex’s hands shake as he stares at the ID.  He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Michael wipes a tear from his cheek.

“Hey, we can change it back,” he tells Alex, looking at him with concern.  “It’s ok if you changed your mind.”  Michael leaves his chair and turns Alex away from the table so he can crouch in front of him.

“No,” Alex pulls Michael up and kisses him.  “No,” he repeats,finally dropping the license so he can cradle Michael’s face in his hands and kiss him again. He hopes Michael can feel his happiness, his joy because he finds himself fumbling for words to explain what it means to see his name in writing.

“I want to rent a car,” he says when Michael pulls back and goes back to his own chair, holding Alex’s hands in his.

“What?” Michael asks, concern returning to his face.  “I know the truck’s old, but she’ll get us where we need to go.”

“No, I mean,” Alex shakes his head, frustrated with himself for communicating so poorly.  “Sorry, it was just the first thing I thought of that would require an ID.  I want to show off my new name.”

“Proud of it, huh?” Michael laughs, but Alex can hear the underlying hesitation.

“Michael, you have no idea.  I want to tell everyone.  I wish I was young enough to get carded.”

“I’m glad,” Michael says quietly, squeezing Alex’s hands.  “I’m glad it feels good to let that part of your past go.”

“It is, but it’s not just about the past.  When I saw this - saw ‘Alex Guerin’ in writing - I realized it’s less about letting something go than it is about moving forward.  Being a Manes meant something, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never escape it completely,” Alex takes a breath, relieved to feel that burden gone.  “But I’m not Alex Manes anymore.  I’m Alex Guerin, and I get to decide what that means.  That’s what I care about, who I am now, learning how to be your husband, building our life together.”  He pulled Michael’s left hand to his mouth and kissed his wedding ring.

Michael picks up Alex’s discarded license and studies.  He strokes his thumb over the picture before setting it down.  “I never cared about my name.  It wasn’t mine, it was just something they gave me because they had to.  I can’t tell you what it means or if there are Guerin family traditions, and even if there are, it wouldn’t matter because they aren’t mine.  Funny isn’t it, your name came with the worst family baggage imaginable and mine came with nothing, and we both suffered for it.”

“Michael,” Alex says helplessly, seeing the tears in Michael’s eyes. He reaches for him - to offer comfort, to fix what can’t be fixed - he doesn’t know.  “Your name means something, it had a history that you gave it - omelet breakfasts and secret lairs and music and undying devotion.”

“I’m not upset, Alex,” Michael leans back and tangles their feet together.  “I’m just so,” his eyes drift back to the table, covered in documents bearing the name ‘Alex Guerin.’  He turns back to Alex, and while the tears are still there, his smile outshines them.  “Thank you for wanting to share my name, for making it ours, for wanting to start traditions with me that we can share with our family one day - however that looks.”

Alex shakes his head, too overwhelmed to speak.

“And I promise we can rent cars and join every gym and grocery store and casino membership plan we can find just so we can show off our name.  But first I want to take my husband to bed and make love to him.”

Michael stands up and holds out his hand to Alex.  He lets Michael pull him up, then walks toward the bed unbuttoning his shirt as he goes.  “I love you, Michael Guerin,” he says as Michael pushes him onto bed and begins to undo his pants.

Michael’s answering smile is both wicked and sweet.  “I love you, too, Alex Guerin.”

#alexguerinmonthly #malex fic #rnm fic #my fic #alec centric #malex happy ending #forlex but ends malex #maria deluca friendly #forrest long friendly #alex and maria friendship #alex is always trying to escape being a manes #jesse manes is a monster

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Do you have any suggestions on dealing with nostalgia? I’m INTP. Throughout my childhood, there had been a couple of relocations of my family and up to this day I’ve never felt deeply connected to a certain place.

Whenever I think about the past, I would be struck by nostalgia and a deep sense of sadness, as it seems I am never able to keep anything around me. My old toys are discovered to have been stolen (actually they just disappeared and nobody knows why so my parents assume that they are stolen) when I got to return to my old home years after; just like my relationship with my father that grew so distant before I even realised.

I know I could never possibly regain that pure joyfulness in my childhood but it pains me to think in that way. I can’t even remember any experiences in detail except once I was shaking the curtain on a decent morning, and sunlight fell on the scattering dust, making it seem like a thousand tiny fireflies dancing in the air. When I try to grasp these memories, I feel that they are like a dream that fades away too quickly, leaving me with only fragments of it.

I am afraid that my whole life will be like this as well, I couldn’t leave anything behind even after my death, nobody will remember me and my existence will be washed away helplessly by the waves of time. It does trigger me a bit when I’m told that these memories are insignificant stuff that died long ago, and they are of no importance or value. It’s definitely not true. They are like the foundation of my existence, the connection with my past self, and I couldn’t just forget them and remove them from my mind, no matter how small or scattered they are.

I do reminisce on other past events, however I can usually just accept that past is already past and move on. None of them hurts me as much as my childhood. I think this whole thing is about tertiary Si and I could get myself to stop thinking about it when I’m redirected to other ideas, so it doesn’t affect my daily life much, but it shoes up in my head when I see/think of key words that remind me of my past or when I feel down. I’m sorry for dumping all the existential crisis here, I could easily spiral into pessimistic thoughts when I try to talk about my past. I don’t think I’m ready to develop my Si at this point so should I just put it aside and focus on Ne first? Thank you in advance for any guidance.

In addition, simply out of curiosity I’d like to ask: Does inferior Si encounter similar problems as well? How would it differ from tertiary Si?

----------------------

The past isn't insignificant. You're right, it's an important part of you and it has played a crucial role in making you the person you are today. Trying to deny this fact isn't helpful and can make nostalgia haunt you even more.

The kind of nostalgia you're feeling seems to be about loss or grief. It is usually a sign that you are not happy with the person you are today and/or the life you're living today - something is missing. The mental trap of unhealthy Ne-Si is to get lost in "what if" speculation. You start thinking about how you or your life could've turned out better "if only" the past had been different. This is unproductive rumination, not because the past is insignificant or should be dismissed, but because you're taking the wrong lessons from it.

What is the nostalgia communicating to you? E.g. It's very important to feel rooted and connected to the world around you; don't take important things for granted; be a part of the world so that you don't feel as though you have never really existed; etc. The right lesson to learn is to do more to root and connect yourself to the world starting TODAY, so that you don't feel the same sense of loss/grief about today at some point in the future. In other words, don't keep making the same mistake again and again of not fully cherishing everything in your life while you still can. When you're able to successfully exit that vicious cycle of regret, nostalgia will bring you warmth rather than sadness or grief.

Feelings should be accepted and understood. Once you really hear them and listen to the message being communicated, they will no longer haunt you. Trying to convince yourself that feelings are invalid doesn't work because feelings don't respond to reason. Feelings only care about whether they have succeeded in making you care properly for yourself. Until then, they won't shut up. Perhaps you should read the articles about emotional intelligence to learn constructive ways of responding to your feelings.

With regard to the last question, stack position is already explained in the study guides. Nostalgia is a universal feeling, but different types experience it for different reasons. Stack position changes the purpose of the function, so tertiary Si creates nostalgia for different purposes than inferior Si. E.g. The former would be an alert about a troubling lack of Ne development, whereas the latter would be about the need to correct Ne extremes.

#intp #tertiary si #si loop #inferior si #si #nostalgia #past #loss #grief #regret #emotional intelligence #ask

[oflights]

20 questions for fic writers

thanks for the tag, @teledild0nix; your post was great! also @phoebe-delia tagged me on this post a bit ago; i loved reading these so much! at this point, i'm not sure who has or hasn't done this yet, so i'm tagging anyone who sees this and wants to try it!

How many works do you have on ao3?

54 across 3 fandoms!

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

1,382,065 😵‍💫

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now it's just drarry; i have also written for hockey RPF and before that, The Social Network, but a lot of that fic is locked on livejournal. before TSN i wrote drarry 😬 which is also locked lol i'm sorry

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. up the arbor to your door (and more) - Hockey RPF (2,889) 2. all the western stars - Drarry (2,819) 3. Bloom - Hockey RPF (2,759) 4. Brand New Colony - Hockey RPF (2,558) 5. Morning to Wake You - Hockey RPF (2,056) my sid/geno hockey RPF era from 2012-2014 was pretty consistent! i do think all the western stars is about to overtake the top spot though, which is insane when you realize those fics are 9 years vs. barely 18 months old 😧

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! i make every effort to, though sometimes i get overwhelmed (i've fallen off a bit with The Star Splitter and it makes me super guilty!!! i need more hours in the day lol)

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am a happy ending aficionado!! i guess if you ignore the fix-it epilogue, the answer is we hid in catacombs, which is probably the best sid/geno fic i wrote. it was a breakup fic, of course, i remain obsessed with those!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i really cannot think of any standout happy ending hockey fics so for this one i will say along each garden wall. sugary sweet ending after what was a genuinely sad narrative; i think i took to heart the people who were like "Close Behind was so angsty we needed more happiness to wash it down!!" and while i felt like that didn't really fit Close Behind, it worked for this one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

ha. yes! people were Not Happy about Close Behind. someone told me that i should tag it as the main pairing being Draco/Astoria and add an Ambiguous/Open Ending tag, which was very interesting and wrong. some comments i get are just odd, though. like someone got mad at me in The Star Splitter comments for naming a stuffed dragon Orion, who i guess was Sirius' abusive (?) dad?? i had no canon memory of that (and why would Draco care about that???). another person just objected to the entire premise of the fic, which i suppose is fair play if the premise of the fic is an actual philosophical argument, but yeah. it takes all sorts!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do! i like writing smut! happily, yes smut! i don't go too deep into it in every fic, though, and with drarry i've often let myself get more into plot than figuring out the best smut places. i'm in a spot mentally where i really want the smut to contribute to the plot in a significant way, which i think is a result of taking a two year fanfic break and reading nothing but literary/historical fiction in those years? idk i need to write more, it's a total shift from when i wrote hockey.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

yeah, no, not for me!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i've had some plagiarism incidents, and i guess i ask for this as a serial fic deleter, but some of my fics are on wattpad and i'd prefer they weren't lol.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! a good few.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

lol i cannot answer this question truthfully. my all-time favorite ship is just whatever i'm hyperfixated on at the moment! drarry is probably a contender just because i circled back to it after years away. (am i in a getting back together fic with drarry??)

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i finish all my wips 🙂 honestly this is not a flex, i am terrible at abandoning projects and my brain will not let me off the hook ever.

16. What are your writing strengths?

hmm. i think characters, especially large casts of characters! i love to write big ensembles and flesh out characters even in big or small roles, plus their relationships with each other. i also think that i'm much better at giving my worlds/stories a sort of aesthetic now, if that's a writing talent? this is def a new thing to drarry for me, since i took that long fanfic break and wrote/read a bunch of original stuff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i work at it, but i still don't know that i'm the best at describing things. i'm better at describing settings than people, that's for sure. i get bored with endless descriptions of someone's eye color and i find myself needing to justify character description with narrative relevance, which is silly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'm a big proponent of '"[English words]," he says in French.' Or like, 'He says something in French', if the POV character wouldn't understand it. i feel like it's less immersion-breaking and more fluid. i write in several languages but wouldn't expect readers to, and i normally write such a close third person perspective that i don't necessarily want the readers to have a translation of a phrase that the POV character wouldn't have, you know?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i think officially it was veronica mars?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

i'll do one for each AO3 fandom! for TSN, it was Mulligan. for Hockey RPF, Contrapositive. and for Drarry, no surprise, Close Behind.

#oflights #tag game #fic writing #this was fun!!

[bestedoesmeow]

don't I look real enough?                                 j.seresin x reader  

word count:1552

warnings:none

meeting up with your bf Jake at The Hard Deck,spending the evening there//fluff

songs I recommend you to listen while reading:

This Love from Taylor Swift

Pretty Boy from Lennon Stella

Take My Breath Away from Berlin

Pink in The Night from Mitski

I wrote this when I saw Top Gun:Maverick for the first time it probably has been two and half months so pls forgive me about my mistakes,it includes lot of flirting etc and I didn't think about the timeline so you can think your age and his age as you like/wish!(also am not native pls ignore my grammar mistakes)

  You entered The Hard Deck with your bag hanging from one of your shoulders, almost out of breath with all that trying to catch the bus process.Your hair was nicely done before getting out of the house, even though you had a really bad day and almost cried on your way home. But since you and Jake decided to meet up at Hard Deck two weeks ago,you did not want to be in a bad mood or look sad or anything.

The base was an hour away from the state that you were staying and studying in, so you could see Jake only once every week. Whenever he had free time after his training, he could come visit you, and whenever you could, you could visit him at Top Gun,but it was not happening too frequently, so you pulled yourself together, took a deep breath, and walked towards Penny, who had a nice smile on her lips from the first time she saw you entering the place.

"Can I leave my bag here, Penny?" I need to use the restroom really quickly. "

You asked, your cheeks red with all the rush and hot weather.

"Yeah, of course, honey." She smiled. She was drying up some glasses and the place only had a few pilots, so she did not seem too busy, so she was taking her time while doing it.

"You want something to drink?" You were about to leave to use the restroom, but you needed to check your phone real quick, so you were resting against the bar scrolling through your phone.

"Ah well, iced lemonade would be great. Thank you, Penny."

You gave her your thankful smile before heading directly to restroom.

Since you had the chance to wash your face and put on your perfume, you felt much better, even though the weather was terribly hot. You were sipping your lemonade with ease and talking with Penny’s daughterAmelia,when a group of pilots entered the place. When you looked at the time, it was nearly 6 p.m which meant it was the ending of Jack's flight training.

"Is it really you there?" You turned to see Jack, all dressed up in his uniform,giving you his signature grin. The watch you gave him was placed on his wrist, and he had just shaved. 

''Oh, I'm not sure. Don't I look like real enough Hangman?''

You smiled widely. You wrapped your arms around his neck,he maintained his hug while rubbing your back with his hands.

"Do I smell some (name of the perfume you use) here?"

He said, taking a deep sniff of your hair while you decided to get up from the bar chair to face him throughly.

"Well, it’s not too hard to guess, I guess?"You said, this time directly facing him,with all the sounds of the pilots making who were playing darts or pool,but you two stayed silent, only looking into each other’s eyes and letting out little smiles. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled you into a little kiss, a kiss that made you realize how much you missed him, and it was enough for you to forget the bad time you had that day.

When you pulled away, you couldn’t help but let out a long, deep breath.

''Well, as I can see, you haven’t missed anything from that charm, Hangman." You said,while tapping him on the shoulder only to make him let out a low hiss.

"Like it’s possible for me to," he said winking an eye at you.While these things were happening, Jake was leading you towards the pool table.His one hand was wrapped around your waist while the other was in the air to greet the others. Even though you’ve been to that bar too many times, you still didn’t feel too comfortable about attending their games or having conversations with the other pilots, and just like they all knew, they all greeted you with a nice smile, and Payback didn’t even let you sit down. He quickly took you by your hand, made you rise from the chair, and pulled you somewhere near to him, grabbed your shoulders.

"Look Y/N, we are so close to winning. I trust you, take that stick and make the last shot. "

You listened to him very carefully, watched every movement of his, and nodded your head before grabbing the stick. Raising your head, you noticed Hangman staring at you with an arrogant grin, hips resting against the table, he was licking his bottom lip when you caught his gaze.

"Are you taking my girl to your side, Payback?"

You heard the others laughing when you finally decided to bend over a bit.

"Well, we are having a fair game here mate."

Payback said, sending you a look indicating that you should begin the game, and you did as he instructed.

"Yessss."Fanboy said he was giving you a big high five while you were smiling at the moment of joy.

Then you felt all eyes turning to door as someone walked in. You could see Jake tightening up a bit from the veins in his neck.

Rooster Of course it was him—Hangman’s only rival—because Rooster was a really nice pilot.

"Since when you are not telling us you are back in town?"

Phoenix said, giving his arm a rub. Rooster took off his sunglasses, greeted everyone with a little hug and made everyone put a nice smile on their lips.

''Well, I like being mysterious, I guess.' Sup Seresin? It’s been a while.''He said. You were watching the whole scene, biting your lips without even realizing it. Everyone was watching the scene, actually.

Jake put on his signature side smile, facing Bradley from too close.

"Yes, it's been a while, Bradshaw."

He placed his hand on his shoulder and tapped on it.

"You look good,Hangman."

"I am good,really good Rooster."

Then Rooster turned to you, smiled and extended his hand for you to shake it.

"Nice to meet you,Bradley Bradshaw."

You took his hand and gave him a sincere handshake while talking.

"Y/N.Nice to meet you too."

The pool game ended a bit before your decision to leave to have dinner. After the game, Jake came closer to you, grabbed you by your waist, and asked if you wanted to grab some dinner. You were walking towards the bar where Penny was standing and talking with a man who was around her age.

Jake greeted the man with a salute while you were packing your bag and saying goodbye to Penny. You stood right behind him, sending the other man a little smile.

"Is she your girlfriend?" The man said, pointing you out with his eyes.Even though Jake was facing him, you could feel him smiling at the question.

"Sir, yes."

He turned his face to you,got your hand and made you move closer to him.

"Nice to meet you, sir,Y/N.''

You said.You reached for his hand to give him a handshake. Instead, he got your hand and gave it a nice squeeze with both of his hands.

"Captain Pete Mitchell, nice to meet you too. Have a nice one, kids. He said, while giving you two a nod and a smile.

"I appreciate it."Sir, "Have a nice evening."

Jake reached for your hand, making you leave the little place that you’d been stuck while talking to Pete.

You followed him to the exit. His body looked unavoidably good in his uniform.

When you left the pub,you faced the warm summer breeze and sand filling up your shoes.

Jake once again got closer to you on the sand, combed your hair with his fingers while watching every detail of your face before leaving a peck kiss on your bottom lip.

"What do you want to eat?" He said,asking in a low voice,he didn’t break thee eye contact while his hands were placed on your cheeks.

"I don’t know, Taco maybe?" "You said," making him let out a sigh and an eye roll.

"Taco? Really? With Jake Seresin? "

"Wow, I didn't realize you'd make this such a big deal, man; okay, let's eat whatever you want."

You smiled as widely as you could ,only to make him let out a nice smile, showing off his doggie teeth.

"I am kidding, baby. Let’s get some tacos then. "

He moved in closer for another kiss, which was the best of the night. His hands were still on your cheeks, his arrogant grin still on his lips, your hands around his neck.

You pulled away and coughed,reached out for his hair for to comb it with your fingers fixed his shirt with both of your hands before tapping on his chest.

"Pull yourself together now, Lieutenant."

His Raybans were in his shirt's pocket. He took them slowly, still chewing his mint gum, and placed them on his nose belt.

"I am good and always together, so shall we?"

He said, reaching for your hand. You couldn’t help but admire the way he looked. The way he could effortlessly look hot just by putting on his classic sunglasses and chewing that gum with ease.

showing off his dimples.

"Yes we shall. I literally am hungry, Hangman, and I am not lying about it this time. "

#top gun #top gun 1986 #top gun movie #hangman seresin x reader #hangman #hangman fluff #hangman x reader #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick #jake seresin x you #jake seresin #seresin x reader #jack hangman seresin x reader #the hard deck #lot of flirting

[lesless]

glowing, growing 🔮 🍀

It is gently dropping small, delicate flakes of white outside & the air is so still, quiet, like a whisper. My love took the dog & headed out to a town 2 hours away to meet his father so he can spend tomorrow working on an initiative that may prove to be a wonderful investment of time/energy/etc., but not without quite a lot of work first. I am proud of him in a lot of ways, but I will miss him. I do enjoy my down time though, so I will make the most of it.

I had planned on meeting up with a friend tonight after she had dinner with her sister, but neither of us wanted to do much once the sky grew grey & it began to snow. I wrote a list of what I want to do solo tomorrow--tea (I need to reign back my coffee consumption, again), journal, breakfast, eat, go to yoga, get a juice from the place next door to the studio, a bath with the bath bomb I bought at the botanical gardens. Then, get some work done on the photo and/or writing project, buy some yarn to make gifts, write xmas cards, then maybe meet up with that friend I missed today. It sounds like a great solo day, exactly the kind of thing I like to do! A little chill, a little activity/movement in the A.M., a little productivity, a little shopping, a little fun.

It is funny that since I sorted through my clothes & replaced them with quality items I enjoy wearing that I feel like I have SO many options but I have SUCH a small number of items now compared to when I started weeding out synthetics. I have reflected that life is funny like that, sometimes when we lack quality we go for quantity, don't we?

Being deliberate in purchasing/replacing items has been a years-long thing & lately I do feel surprised that interacting with quality on a regular basis is satisfying, though I have kind of always held the idea that spending extra $ on things you interact with daily will make your daily experience more enjoyable. A nice face wash, comfortable bedsheets, decent rubber gloves to wash dishes in. I suppose I will just never stop appreciating little things in life.

Sunday bb will return, we will relax & play BG3, spend our last little bit of solo time together until next year, quite literally. Tuesday our friend arrives, I visit the allergist, then Thursday my cousin arrives, then Sunday we fly to Texas, then it's holiday madness & remote work, then we fly to Mexico, the new year blooms, more remote work, & we return to life & a new semester.

In more mundane news, I told myself that I would learn how to french braid my hair while it's short so I can become accustomed to it as it grows out & I have stuck to my word! 3 successful braids so far, though my arms do get exhausted & I feel feeble every time I braid it. Just as I feel weak every time I do core exercises (2 down this week! pretty good considering I spent 3 full & exhausting days in the office today) at least I'm doing it! I will get better! I can't expect myself to be good at something right off the bat, as much as I want to be for my ego's sake.

I still always feel at least a little anxious after socializing with people I am not intimately close with, & I have done an assload of socializing over the last 3 days, BUT I feel relatively unscathed after this week. 2 fumbles, which I felt I saved, & maybe I shouldn't be cataloging my social blunders mentally but also maybe mentally I'm a little left of center & I should just be OK with that, too, instead of self-monitoring so heavily. Anyway, I think the level of comfort I DO feel has a lot to do with the fact that I really just feel delightful about the people I work with; I really genuinely like them all. They are all such characters, so knowledgeable, incredibly well-intentioned, & most of them are as sassy & quippy as I enjoy in a person without the malicious undertone that often accompanies that trait.

Anyway I am trying to remind myself that bettering is incremental & when I look back at how far I have come I am proud of myself, too. Lastly, perhaps, I must shake the scolding I want to give myself at every imperfection.

It is a beautiful night & I am comfortable, listening to music & watching everything collect a thin layer of white outside of my window. I have things to look forward to, people to love, people to love me back, humble goals, & a deep appreciation for the now. I hope you, too, find a quiet sort of peace as the year wraps itself in darkness & cold. I hope spring makes you feel like you can start over if you need to. I hope you treat yourself gently tomorrow.

#me