Thinking about Disco Elysium and stars. Something about communal experience and simultaneous isolation, hope and idealism, fear and beauty and terror and burning. The inherent horror in the vast romantic starscape of the sky, the melancholy and loneliness inherent in the untold distance, a communal experience of something too enormous to fathom. Stars bear witness to humanity, to the millions of tiny people crawling on the face of Elysium. They watch the people, and the people watch back, and make up stories about the stars. Stars symbolise love, hope, something unreachable and unattainable.
The way that the light of the stars reaches every single being in Elysium, from human to phasmid, but no matter how far it reaches it is still a cold and distant glow, always on the verge of going out. A moral brilliance, a holy light to strive towards, something always at risk of burning out, but there's a dichotomy too. A duality between the stars as brutal unfeeling observers, moralists even, like the aerostatics flying overhead, tiny dying lights that watch impassively over every terrible thing in the world, and the flipside; stars as the burning kernels of hope, furious burning flames that parallel Harry and his golden-orange forest fire nature. Stars as the light of communism, the star-and-antlers. They're hope and dreams- a million years in the stars. Rockstars and superstars. The light of a brighter future (however short-term that future might be) coming towards them at the end of the tunnel. It makes me think of Sacred and Terrible Air and the light pollution in Vassa- ending light pollution as the world ends. "You may laugh at this, but in the evening, when the big world in the distance swells into a bloody maelstrom, families come out into the street in Vaasa and are insignificant together. Only distant explosions disturb the deep peace of the winter night, its flawless starry sky. Everyone watches, heads tilted back." The stars are a shared experience. Something that everyone watches, insignificant together, when there's nothing more that can be done. Light in the face of darkness, community in the face of inevitability. Togetherness. The stars are there in the church with the ravers. They're there watching Harry and Kim together. Insignificant together. In dark times, should the stars also go out?
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Notes on BSD characters from reading the author's works but I slowly loose my mind the more I read
(This was just originally just supposed to be notes for me to reference when writing characters, but Rimbaud broke me)
Dazai - No Longer Human and other stories - Insecurity formed around feelings of inadequacy, masking pain with humour, fear of strangers but a love of people society considers weak, self-loathing but unrelentingly himself, just a walking contradiction of world views.
Chuuya - Poetry Collection - Heartache, weariness, loss of innocence and resentment for stolen childhoods, want for things to be simple and feeling crushed under the world's complexities, feeling stuck and stagnant in life but not knowing how to fix it.
Akutagawa - Rashomon and other stories - Self-loathing, cynicism, a lot of self-doubt, mistrust in other people, fear of the future (having no future/death and what lies beyond), bitter humour, his mind is his own worst enemy.
Lucy - Anne of Green Gables - Overtly imaginative as a coping mechanism, hope and wonder above everything, longing for security and a safe home, finds it difficult to make friends but is fiercely loyal to those who take the time to know her.
Fyodor - Crime and Punishment - so much self-righteousness, constantly needing to be right (both for petty things and morally)- speaking of morals- morally bankrupt but will justify his actions so he doesn't feel that way, selfishness, always three seconds away from loosing it, needs to be sicker
Rimbaud - Poetry collection - uh.... uuuuhhhhh.... *stares at the many sex poems I had to read through* Not horny enough apparently
Bram - Keeps a journal. Charismatic but in a he's everyone's grampa way, should have a pet wolf, into disguises, forever society's outsider, very lonely but also very paranoid, yearning to be loved/accepted
Fitzgerald (and by extension Zelda's character) - The Great Gatsby - Momentous regret, unable to move on from the past, unable to properly grieve their losses because of it. A life wasted on an unachievable dream that tears them apart. Money won't cure the sadness but it sure helps drowning in it. THE GREEN LIGHT, HIS ABILITY IS THE GREEN LIGHT NOT THE COLOUR OF MONEY, ITS THE COLOUR OF ALL THAT HE CAN NEVER HAVE, HIS WIFE AND HIS DAUGHTER ALWAYS AND FOREVER OUT OF HIS REACH AND YET ETCHED ONTO HIS SKIN GUIDING HIS EVERY ACTION
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somebody just liked this comment I did on tv time about spn 14x08... aw, good times, mary of the past, how naive you were, how much hope you had 🙃 (two weeks before watching 15x18)
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