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savedpeople · 9 months

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thoughts on the dead city finale:

sucks that ginny finally tried to talk and didn’t get to

everything i didn’t want to happen, happened lol. it’s revealed that ginny’s dad was one of the five men negan killed, and negan told her this to push her away and get her to go with armstrong, and now their relationship is likely strained if not ruined. she didn’t even want to wear his shirt anymore :( but you can also tell it hurt him to tell her and that he actually cares about her more than he says (confirmed bts later.) it also bugs me bc in ginny’s eyes this most likely confirmed maggie’s “he’s a monster” from last episode

and then i was unfortunately right, in that the dama wanted negan to... lead? help her lead? honestly it’s bizarre that she decided she needed him THAT badly and making him THAT important solely based on the croat’s fanboying, without ever meeting him. and now negan’s being forced into a position where he’ll likely have to be “old negan” again.

“like mommy and daddy coming together”

i’m glad the croat’s still around i kinda like him lmao

BUT. it’s complete bs that the answer to “how did the croat know about negan and maggie’s history” is “he randomly ran into Jerome The Random Savior (i checked and this is not someone who was seen previously in the saviors, not even as a background character) over ten years later, and jerome told him about the story of The Widow, because for some reason, out of everything negan did, maggie’s story is the only story anyone from the savior era ever talks about.” still doesn’t explain how the croat knew what maggie looked like or managed to find her new community, or how he knows negan worked with her in season 11, since jerome was long gone by then. I really hate “characters absent during important events know intimate details about those events because random character the audience never met told them about it off-screen bc the plot needs it” stuff

negan indirectly/accidentally killing luther ended up having no consequences and was never found out since everyone in luther’s group died. all it did was distract maggie from telling negan about ginny’s dino... which she ended up never telling him about. he realized she wasn’t being truthful about things but the fact that she hid the dino never comes up.

negan got stabbed in the chest/shoulder?? and he just pulled the knife out and there was no blood or tear in his jacket? dude was just entirely unaffected lol

negan also confirmed that he would’ve helped maggie anyway if she’d been honest with him from the get-go

look okay i’ll say it the negan/maggie fight scene was hot idc

armstrong lied and told the marshals he killed negan, which is nice, but will probably backfire on him later

hershel not seeming excited, relieved, grateful, or anything about maggie rescuing him. how long was he with the dama? seeing that he drew a picture of her and mentioned almost feeling safer there than at home, it almost seems like he liked being there or formed some kind of bond with her, despite her chopping one of his toes off.

their relationship makes me sad. i honestly also, sincerely find it a bit weird that they’re writing maggie as being “obsessed” with negan still? like i understand the idea of her having a hard time with looking at hershel and just being reminded of glenn, and that affecting her relationship with hershel and him being bothered by that. but hershel specifically says it feels like she only sees negan when she looks at him, not his dad. and that his whole life she’s just been looking over his shoulder waiting for negan. this feels weird to me, and is different from her being reminded of glenn and thus also what negan did, if that makes sense. she’s spent years and years away from negan, and that on top of how their relationship was at the end of season 11, this obsession being described doesn’t really make sense? you’re saying that throughout those years of finding and building communities, in private she’s still obsessing over him that noticeably? that it’s so bad that hershel thinks 5+ years later that she still cares more about “revenge” and says he felt safer in nyc with the dama? it doesn’t totally seem to line up with what we’re seeing. idk maggie deserves a better storyline than constantly revolving around negan and glenn. and vice versa for that matter. i don’t want hershel to turn out like he did in the comics.

i like that hershel seems to have creative hobbies. he’s great at drawing and i believe we saw him playing the guitar?

i don’t know how i feel about the River People, and the confirmation that there were more groups Negan once ruled over. with the whole “people are a resource” thing and negan being vehemently against simon wiping out entire communities, and all out war presumably being the first time negan got desperate enough to resort to killing everyone, what happened to the River group since they’re clearly not in the picture anymore by the time Rick’s group shows up? if they were truly unable to provide, thus negan killing someone when they fail to deliver, i don’t see negan just continuing to kill someone every week until there was no one left. so like what happened there. this is also another issue with them adding new things to negan’s pre-rick days. they do realize negan was only a leader for likely not even a year and a half? there was not that much time after lucille’s death for negan to find the sanctuary, take over, and go through a whole bunch of communities. I also don’t know whether or not i like negan offering to let the croat use lucille and be the person to “kill one” in order to get the group to submit. especially since it was said that croat was brand new to the group and didn’t even know how things worked yet?? though it’s hilarious he missed the first time. you’re embarrassing dad, dude.

quietly adding “negan is a gin man, not a brandy man” to my box of random info canon has given me, as someone who has never had a sip of alcohol in my life and therefore can do nothing with this information

“i have a funky cramp in my leg, buggin’ the shit out of me” old man (lovingly.) cramp in his leg bothering him but his shoulder that was stabbed is a-ok lol

for dama handing negan the key my notes literally just say “fckn toe in a box” lmao

they need to give us the croat’s and the dama’s real names in season 2 bc i cannot go the rest of my twd days calling them The Croat and The Dama every time they’re mentioned and i refuse to believe negan actually called him “the croat” the entire time he was at the sanctuary

if this doesn’t end in negan offing the dama and getting a second chance to lead and doing it The Right Way this time then i don’t want it

if there was more, i forgot it, and it’s nearly 4:30am so i am o u t bc I have work tomorrow

#don't r.eblog #jenwatchestwd #✘ || Excuse the shit out of my goddamn french ( ooc )

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speechlessxx · 4 years

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Call It What You Want (Ransom Drysdale x Reader)

Summary: There’s an unspoken bond between the Reader and Ransom.

Warnings: poorly written SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), unprotected sex, oral sex (fem receiving), soft Ransom (because i love him idc), bad relationship with parents. This fic was honestly so self-indulgent because I love this song.

Word Count: 3.7k

Loosely inspired by Call It What You Want by (the Queen) Taylor Swift.

Sometimes life felt as if you were playing a Jenga game alone on a table with uneven legs.

For brief moments, everything was normal. Your movements were delicate as you built the tower. Higher and higher it would go, but then you’d stop to admire your work. You would rest your elbows against the surface and accidentally cause the table to shift. The tower would collapse, and you would have to rebuild it again.

However, you never had a stable foundation to begin with. The table was always wobbly. So, time and time again that tower fell. And you’ll have to start over alone.

That was your life.

Your parents were wealthy workaholics. You don’t remember being held or cuddled by your mother or father. You had a revolving door of nannies. None stayed too long so you could form any connection. Your mother would catch them in bed with her husband and terminate their employment. Even through your father’s infidelity, your mother refused to leave him. You remembered her drunkenly admit to you, her 7-year-old, that she stayed because she was afraid of what others would think.

When they weren’t working, they were fighting. You spent nights crying alone in your bedroom as you overheard endless arguments throughout the night. Your parents’ voices would echo through the large house and you’d hear every single insult, threat, and slur.

Your family was sitting upon a tense string that refused to break.

You had no stability – no constancy. You had no siblings either. Your school friends – whether they were from grade school or high school, it didn’t matter. They were all the same – were too self-involved to pay you any mind. You had no shoulder to cry on. No one to kiss the bruises and the scars away. No one to lean on when your life itself felt like it collapsed.

You only had your parents who both resented you because you were the result of a love that they no longer had.

Perhaps, that’s why you and Ransom Drysdale got along so well. Trust-fund brats who were neglected by their wealthy parents. Maybe it was a good thing that you at least had each other.

The closeness between you was surreal. You read one another like an open book whereas others had difficulty even pronouncing your titles. You were each other’s confidant, best friend, and rock. You found in comfort in each other’s mess.

It would be easy to mistake you two as a couple.

Both of you were once touch starved children, so you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. It was in the grazes of your fingertips and the tight embraces where you would snuggle your face in the crook of his neck, and he’d bury his into your hair. Ransom often kissed your wrists and fingers as he toyed with your hand in his. Every time you sat down next to each other, your knees were touching, or you’d be playing an unconscious game of footsies. It didn’t matter what your bodies were doing or where you were – you were always touching.

Strangers, and even those who knew you, often did think that you two were together. And when confronted, both of you would always scoff and say no. You were just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

But behind closed doors, there was something. Something more that ignited your skin and set your body on fire. Something more that left Ransom – the talkative asshole – speechless and panting as he tried to catch his breath.

You both agreed only to have sex when it was absolutely necessary.

“It helps us blow off some steam,” Ransom had explained to you while you just nodded in agreement. You couldn’t find your words. Your wits had been fucked to silence and your brain felt like jelly.

You have your shared struggles and frustrations. Sometimes a simple lay was all you needed to let out your bottled-up emotions. It made sense when you established the agreement in your late college years.

“It doesn’t mean anything,” you agreed breathlessly.

You didn’t do it often. It would ruin the friendship. You even established a “no kissing on the lips” rule. You said it made everything all too real.

But as the years went by, something else began to blossom. Something else established itself. But neither of you would ever dare speak of it.

It would ruin the friendship after all.

-=+=-

You hated coming back to your childhood home. Haunting memories were the only keepsakes you had there. You had moved out right after college and would only return for holidays – upon your mother’s demand. You always felt as if it were empty. The house was massive and for many years was only home to three people, excluding the help.

You sat at the table alone as you anxiously fumbled with the initial necklace Ransom had given you for your birthday. The dainty gold ‘R’ charm was between your thumb and index finger as your leg bounced while you stared at the untouched feast.

Your father had excused himself, saying he had an emergency video conference for work. You and your mother rolled your eyes as he rushed off. You both knew it wasn’t for work. Enraged, your mother stalked off, glass full of chardonnay in one hand, the bottle in the other.

You didn’t know what you expected. It was like this every holiday – your parents made no exception. You stared at the turkey before you. Your parents didn’t even last to meal itself.

Frustrated, you decided to wrap everything up and packed them into take-home bags. You knew your parents probably wouldn’t eat the leftovers, so you thought about donating the feast to the foodbank. You could drop it off on your way home.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. You dug it out and smiled upon seeing Ransom’s name.

Surviving? Because I’m not.

You chuckled. Suck it up, Drysdale. It’s Thanksgiving.

If I have to spend one more minute with these assholes, I’m going to throw myself down the stairs.

No exaggeration.

Before you could respond, you heard your mother call for you. Her glass was empty, and she was staggering into the kitchen, clearly drunk. You wondered if she drank the whole bottle.

“What the hell are you doing? Where’s the food?” She slurred.

You gestured to the packed meals. “I was wrapping them up because no one was eating.” You decided not to tell her about donating them. Lord forbid that you tried to be a decent human and help those less fortunate than you.

Your phone buzzed again. You gave it a quick glance.

Heading home now. They’re gonna give me an aneurysm.

How’s dinner?

“Why would you do that?” Her brows furrowed, but with her Botox, it made no wrinkles appear on her aging face. She put her hands on her his, the glass nearly slipping from her loose fingers. She was an angry drunk. She always was.

You wanted to say that she and your father ruined Thanksgiving. If they’d only just sit down and eat and pretend they were normal for thirty god damn minutes. But every year, that was never the case. You were always disappointed. “I can unpack it if you want.”

“Your father is an asshole.”

“You could’ve left him years ago,” you muttered.

She didn’t hear you. “How’s the job?”

“Good.” You said as you began to unpack some stuffing. Get some food in her since she was already full of alcohol.

“I don’t know why you decided business was for you,” she let out a long sigh. “Just like your father.”

“I don’t like setting up events. PR’s not my thing,” you tried to joke, topping it off with a forced laugh.

She set down her empty glass and flicked her hair off her shoulder. “Could always work for me, sweetheart. I need a new assistant.”

“I’m fine. Thanks, ma.”

“No, for real, sweetie,” she insisted. “I’d love for you to work for me. That’s every girl’s dream. Work for their mother.” You frowned. I don’t think that’s it, you thought.

“I’d rather not be tied to this family any more than I am,” you muttered. This time she heard you.

An exaggerated offended noise came from her lips as she stared at you with her jaw dropped. “Don’t be an ungrateful little bitch.” She spat. “That’s why you never do anything right and that’s why you’re unmarried, unloved, and unhappy.”

“I’m unhappy?” You laughed mockingly. “I’m not the one trapped in a marriage to man that constantly cheats on me. In fact, I’m ecstatic that I’m nothing like you or dad. I’m buzzing with jubilation.” You couldn’t stop yourself. You knew you were worsening the situation.

“You’re a vile bitch that’s gonna end up alone.” They were drunken words. You knew that. But it didn’t stop it from hurting.

You didn’t bother to respond. You chewed on the flesh inside your cheek before turning away and rushing out to your car. You cursed yourself for leaving the food. It would be trash tomorrow. Wasted. Stray tears rolled down your face and you wiped them away aggressively as you drove.

Being alone was something you should’ve been accustomed to already. In fact, you were. You were an only child, had friends that never bothered to ask if you were okay, nannies that cared more about your dad than taking care of you, parents who didn’t even remember your birthday unless they were reminded by their assistants. You knew how to be alone. You were so good at it.

And that frightened you.

You didn’t want to be alone. You craved affection, companionship, love. You wanted that for yourself. But despite all the luxuries you were granted throughout your life, that was one luxury that you desperately wanted but seemingly would never receive.

You felt your anger bubbling inside of you. A pressure started building in your head – steam that needed to be released.

Luckily, you knew where to go.

-=+=-

The holidays were a particularly hard time for both of you and Ransom. Your families demanded your attendances at events, so you both were always forced to come see the very people you loathe the most. Throughout the years of your friendship, it became a tradition to check up on each other as you spent time with your … “loved” ones.

It was a sanity check – something to keep you both grounded. He had a big family, so he could talk shit about them for hours. You loved to read the messages he’d send you.

But this time, he had sent you several messages that you hadn’t responded to. He began to worry until he heard a car door slam in his driveway. You let yourself in. You had a spare key.

“Ransom!” You called out.

“Bedroom!” He responded. He paused the movie he was watching just as you walked through his already open door.

There was something wrong. It was written all over your face. He didn’t need to ask you if you were alright. He knew you weren’t. So, instead he patted the empty side of his bed, inviting you to come lay down with him. But you had a different type of lay in mind.

“How hard is your dick right now?” You asked, bluntly, as you shrugged off your jacket and tossed it to the floor.

A smirk crept its way to Ransom’s face. “Come here and find out.”

You kicked off your shoes and shimmied out of your skinny jeans, leaving your legs exposed in only your plain, black panties. You climbed onto his bed and straddled his lap. You began to grind yourself to his growing erection. The friction stimulating both of you.

Ransom groaned as he watched you. His hands searched his sheets until he found the remote. With clumsy fingers, he managed to turn the TV off and toss the remote to the edge of the bed. He heard it fall, but he was too preoccupied with the gorgeous woman grinding her pussy on his slacks to even care.

“Let’s take this off, hm?” Ransom asked, fiddling with the hem of your blouse.

“Show me yours and I’ll show you mine,” you teased, stopping your movements.

“You’re childish,” Ransom chuckled, his tongue grazed the back of his teeth. He gave your ass a sharp slap. “I didn’t tell you to stop.”

“You aren’t the boss of me, Drysdale.”

He quirked up an amused eyebrow as if to say we’ll see before he pulled your top off your body. You were now sitting on top of him almost nude in your matching bra and underwear. You returned the favor, pulling off the hole-ridden baby blue sweater and exposing his body to you.

Your hands explored his chiseled chest and stomach. Hard as marble, but not nearly as hard as his cock beneath you, begging to be released from its confinements. You shifted down a bit so that you could undo his belt, but his hands stopped you. He grabbed your wrists and you frowned at him.

“What?” You snapped with furrowed brows.

“We’re on the same page?” Ransom asked you. He was concerned. Sure, this almost friends-with-benefits arrangement was years old at this point, but he still wanted to make sure you wanted this. He always asked before anything got too far.

“Please, Ranson…” your voice nearly cracked. He stared into your eyes and despite the lust being evident in your blown-out pupils – he was sure his mirrored the look – he saw the light red lines, an indicator that you were crying. “I need it.”

“Okay,” he nodded and let go of your wrists. Without hesitation, you began to expertly undo the belt and unbutton his pants. With his help, you were able to successfully pull down his slacks and left him in his boxer briefs. The tent inviting. Before you could reach into his underwear and pull out his friend, he flipped you over. You squealed in surprise as your back was pressed into his bed. “You need it, baby?” You nodded. “Okay… I’ll think about being nice.”

“Ransom,” you whined.

His fingers lightly traced the sides of your body. You shivered at his touch. You took it upon yourself to arch your back so that you could unclasp your bra. You threw it away, exposing your chest to your best friend who groaned.

“God, I love these.” He muttered.

His hands cupped your breasts, toying with them. His fingertips tweaking at the nipples as he ground his desire to yours. Ransom leaned down and latched his mouth onto one of your nipples. His tongue swirling around the skin as he sucked it until it pebbled. He then switched to the other. He’d also take a break from your nipples just to leave stray hickeys all over your chest, collarbones, and neck. He loved marking you up. Whilst his mouth continued its assault on your chest, one of his hands slipped into your panties and began to explore your wet folds.

And slowly, Ransom started to make his way down your body, leaving wet kisses on your skin. He kissed right on top of your underwear before slowing pulling the black fabric down your legs. You lifted your hips to assist. Once they were off, you instinctively bent your knees as Ransom pulled them apart and leaned down to give your pussy a broad tongued lick.

You used to be insecure of the stretchmarks on your thighs. When you and Ransom first started having sex, you were afraid he would find them unappealing – that it would turn him off. But your best friend assured you that every part of your body – including the flaws – were beautiful. “Nothing about you could ever turn me off, (Y/N),” a younger Ransom scoffed. The present Ransom, the one who was about to eat you out like a Thanksgiving meal, couldn’t agree more. (He’d often joke and say you ruined other women for him).

You were a moaning mess as Ransom’s fingers pulled your lips open to expose your clit to his tongue. He looked up at you from his position and the sight of you with your eyes closed in a blissful trance alone could’ve made him cum on the spot. His tongue swirled around your button in tiny, circular motions before slipping his tongue into your slickening channel.

“Oh my god,” you moaned. “Ransom, Ransom!” It was music to his ears.

He ate you out slowly, relishing in your taste. Ransom took pride in your reactions. You had one hand clasping the ‘R’ charm around your neck and the other lost in his hair. He smirked into you as he watched you wither in pleasure as he used his fingers to tease your opening. When you began to buck into his face, he used his other hand to hold down your waist, keeping your hips still for his assault.

You clenched around his fingers. “Ransom… I’m close… oh, my god,” you warned. Ransom grunted, taking great pleasure from eating you out. “Don’t stop, don’t stop,” you begged. He pressed two fingers deep inside of you, curling them and stroking your walls. He buried his face deeper into your dripping cunt and stared up as you came. He wished he could have your reactions of video. The sounds you made were porn worthy and he would’ve loved to have his own private collection.

He stroked you as you rode out your high. You were breathless as your eyes slowly fluttered open, staring up onto the ceiling. “You with me?” Ransom smirked as he stripped his underwear and stroked his hard cock. You nodded. You reached out for him and he gladly leaned down to let you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders.

“I want you to fuck me until I’m stupid,” you whispered. “Only thing I wanna remember is your name.”

Ransom almost frowned. Your parents must’ve really done a number on you this time. In the years that this arrangement had been established, Ransom would – 9 times out of 10 – be the one to initiate the stress relieving sex. But he was more than happy to oblige.

“Your wish is my command, baby,” he muttered, nipping at the skin of your neck before pushing into you.

In one hard thrust, he pushed his entire length into you. You winced when you felt him brush against your cervix. His thrusts were sharp and hard. You’ve had enough sex with each other to know the various spots that made one another tick. Ransom was eager to give you another orgasm – he got off on it.

The shifts of his hips were deliberate, bringing your legs up to drape over his shoulders. He hit spots deep inside of you that you never knew existed before you had sex with him. Your hands were searching for something to hold, something to occupy themselves with. Ransom leaned over, folding you in half, as he took your hands in his, interlacing your fingers while he pounded into you.

You gushed around his thick cock, another orgasm being pulled from you unexpectedly. You moaned his name over and over. “Yeah, baby? Only I make you feel like this, huh?” he grunted. “You take my dick so well. Only you do that, baby.”

You moaned in response, no tangible sentences could even form. His name was the only thing you could say. Your brain effectively melting as you requested.

“I’m gonna make you cum over and over for me.”

He made good on that promise. You lost count of how many times Ransom had made you cum. You had no idea where he got the stamina. But he fucked you through orgasm after orgasm. You fell apart so many times only for him to put you back together.

The obscene sounds that came from your heated core were accompanied by a symphony of moans and the slapping of skin.

“Ugh,” you moaned after what felt like your 6th orgasm of the night. “I love you, Ransom,” you moaned out, and it was the truth. In your fucked-out state, you confessed the three words that you both were too afraid to tell each other. But Ransom smiled, his thrusts becoming less rhythmic. He was about to cum.

He leaned down and captured your lips, groaning into you as he found his release inside of you. The warm feeling spreading throughout your body as you kissed back. Your lips melting into each other, eager and hungry. It was years in the making.

Ransom pulled away first and pulled out of you. You winced and whimpered upon feeling the emptiness. Your mixed fluids slowly trickled out of you and onto the bed, but neither of you minded. You were both too tired.

Ransom slumped beside and you naturally snuggled into his side. By this time Ransom would’ve offered to help clean you, knowing your legs would be like jelly, he’d walk you to the bathroom. But he wanted to enjoy your shared afterglow as he pulled you over his body so that you were resting on his chest. Both of you were panting, lungs trying to pace themselves.

You slowly began to feel the fear settle in.

Ransom was your best friend. The one constant thing in your life. The only stability you had. Your place of comfort. And you’ve ruined it. You said it. The three words. The feeling that’s been building up for years. You scolded yourself for saying it so recklessly.

You’ve done it. You’ve toppled your tower again. Your fingers played with the ‘R’ charm on your necklace again. A nervous habit it seemed.

“I love you, (Y/N),” he whispered in the darkness. He kissed the top of your head as he wrapped his arms tighter around you.

And then a feeling of ease settled upon you. A smile on your face as you realized the tower didn’t fall… not yet. But even if it did, Ransom would be there to help you rebuild. You weren’t alone.

#ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans #chris evans imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers #smut #ransom drysdale smut #chris evans smut

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roodllle · 3 years

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Year in Review - Animal Crossing New Horizons

I started writing this review/criticism in May of 2020 but decided to update it as the year went along and post it on the anniversary of NH’s release. I would like to preface that this is mostly going to be full of questions of criticisms, I love this game. I have not been able to put it down since I got it on March 20th. My first AC game was NL and then I played HHD. I was ecstatic when they announced NH at E3 2019 and kept trying to find other games to fit in my AC shaped hole in my heart but I wasn’t able to fill it till this game came out. I feel like the pace of the game is great with how you build up to unlocking terraforming and 5 stars, and I feel like the updates are well timed especially with how crazy 2020 was for everybody. That being said there were some things that irked me.

Some of the points I will bring up came from other people/commenters I have seen on here, Discord, Reddit, and Twitter that I also agree with. Some other points are from Youtubers such as ShayMay and ChuyPlays. And others are from me.

With that out of the way, let’s get on with the review. Warning, I guess, don’t expect this to be an essay, this is just a patchwork quilt made up of thoughts.

Terraforming

I wish cliffs/tiers had a smaller level? Like how we’re able to make stepping stones for our rivers if we don’t want to put a bridge down/use our vaulting pole. I just wish there was a cliff alternative.

Another cliff alternative would be if we could put bridges between cliffs. I think we’ve all been there where we see this picture

thought ‘we can do that!!” then realized it was photoshopped

When we go into terraforming, I wish a grid showed up on our island. It would make it much easier to avoid hitting the wrong square when I’m trying to change a river.

Having us be able to “close” a waterfall from a lower level but not create a new on at the same spot.

Also the fact we can add a 4th tier but can’t put anything on it is just strange to me. I know we have to have a limit to how high we can go, but at least let me put nature stuff, such as trees/flowers/bushes, on top of it instead of just a flat piece of land.

Houses

Why no ceiling items? Find it odd they added a bunch of stuff in HHD and didn’t add that to the new mainline game

There’s no reason I can think of to why we can’t access our storage when we’re crafting inside our house.

Buildings

Dodo Airlines

The Dodo Islands right now are very boring and barely use them. I have enough money and materials to not go farming and save up all my NMTs for when I go villager hunting, which has also become a rarity. I think it would be a good idea to make some islands seasoned themed. Have them be all rare, but have an island where it’s fall and has maple leaves falling, a cherry blossom one, one with snowflakes. I wouldn’t recommend they make Holiday themed ones, but having seasonal ones would be nice.

When I mess up a dodo code or accidentally hit ‘make a bridge’ instead of incline, etc. why do I have to restart the ENTIRE conversation instead of the characters just being “oh? did you mean “x” or “would you like to retype it?” like is it that hard??

Resident Services

As much as I love Isabelle this game has made me very indifferent towards her. I think they gave her a role that didn’t need to exist. They could have either let us roam around without any warnings to who was roaming around our island, in the campsite, or any weather updates. Just have us rely on our villagers, the TV, and our eyeballs. OR they could have given us a social media like app and/or a weather app. Instead, they gave us Isabelle that only announces something once a month.

Nook’s Cranny

This might just be me but can they add a little DIY area in the store? Maybe just make to where you can only customize things?? This is more out of convenience than an actual problem

Speaking of customization, since you can make medicine but also buy can we do the same for the custom kits and bait. Like make it where we can buy bait and also make our own custom kits? I just think it’s weird that they give us either/or for medicine but not for the other 2 that I honestly use way more than medicine.

Why do the Able Sisters get to have all of the colors of an item in their shop but Nook’s Cranny can’t? And why can’t we just be able to customize all items that have multiple looks/colors? Example, why can’t I just be able to change the wood type for the antique set instead of having to buy each one? I get that the furniture catalog is already small, but that’s not my fault. They’ve decided to not add past furniture sets into NH.

Able Sisters

Let us multi select clothes instead of it just being how much we can wear. idc if it’ll just put those clothes in our personal storage and then we’ll have to run home and put it in that storage, I just hate having to walk back in and out every time I want a dress in multi colors. ALSO tell us if we already bought it, like a little storage icon or something

Why can’t we hang any article of clothing on the back wall, why do we have to either make it or have the OG qr designer come to our island?

Why can’t we have the transparent option when designing clothes? I think it would make many designer’s lives easier instead of having to make 8 versions of the same outfit.

NPCs

I have played this game almost every day since it came out, minus 2 days. I have also been able to make friends on discord that help with trading/cataloging/etc. I have all of Saharah’s, Kicks’, Label’s, and Redd’s items. I have all of the fish/bug models I want and have no desire to “catch them all”. I haven’t talked to Wisp in months because I have most of the items and his idea of “expensive” is 10k bells. The only NPC I actively look forward to is Celeste because even though I now have all of her DIYs, she still gives out star fragments, regular large or horoscope, when I talk to her.

What I’m wondering is if they’re planning on doing anything else with these characters. Before I speak further I’m going to weed out characters that I am actually fine with. CJ and Flick will always be there if I want a bug/fish model, I understand that Saharah/Kicks/Redd have a ton of stuff to get and w/o the help of my discord friends, I probably wouldn’t have gotten everything till late 2021.

So that leaves Label and Wisp. I understand Wisp is there for beginners, but now that I’m at a point where I am a bell millionaire and have most of the Nook’s items cataloged, there is no reason for me to talk to him. I wish Nintendo had put in a system where depending on the person who Wisp is talking to, it determines how much money you have in your bank account/looks at your catalog, Wisp’s item’s worth goes up.

As for Label...I never saw her as viable. I also thought the tickets were dumb and you don’t even have to talk to her to have her items show up in the shop the next day. I think it would be great if when you bought all of her items, she decided to join the Able’s sisters in their shop like in NL and then have Gracie show up in her place for the weekly NPC.

Where is Blanca? Or Brewster? Or Shrunk, Katrina, Gracie, or Kapp’n and his family? I understand we will probably never see characters like Harriet or Pete because they have been replaced by a new system, but what is the excuse for these other characters? I’m hoping they show up in year 2 of NH but...we’ll see.

Villagers

I think having your first villagers living in basic homes is a good idea but one that quickly gets annoying. I found Sherb while villager hunting for the 1st time and have had him ever since, but his house is stuck at basic lazy setup. Instead of me going back and forth on whether or not i should trust somebody enough to hold Sherb, get somebody else out, then get him to move back to my island, You can have it to where you let them leave, then just wait till he comes to the campsite to visit and reinvite him. You get his actual house and he still remembers you. This could also go for you accidentally letting somebody go or letting somebody go then regretting it. Also it’d be fun to see some old villagers again.

I was curious and looked back on past games to see how many new villagers were released each game and NH has been the least amount. NL released 112 new villagers in total while NH has released 8. I’m hoping they might release more down the line but, hella disappointing imo. Along with the Sanrio update and adding those characters to the game, I am more hopeful that they’ll be adding new characters!

Having an “event” of sorts where you visit a villager’s house and they’re looking inside their closet. They look at you in surprise when you walk in and sheepishly explain that they were going through their clothes/items. They then decide to ask you for help since they can’t decide what to get rid of/what to keep and think you have a good eye for that sort of thing. Basically, a way to get rid of any clothes/items your villager somehow received bc I guess Isabelle scolding them isn’t enough.

A big problem I feel like everybody has is the villager dialogue. Yes they added sub personality types for each personality but they are not perfectly cut in half, ex. are the Sisterly types where there are 4 B types and 20 A types, like?? How I have “fixed” this problem is by having one of each personality type on my island so I always have different conversations with my villagers, but I understand not a lot of people do that. Some people just want normal/peppy types on their island bc they’re cute as hell, I get it. I know it would be...difficult to come up with unique dialogue for all 399 villagers, including Sanrio, but....you could at least for the “gimmicky” villagers. Some examples of these villagers are Ribbot and Sprocket, Lucky and Ankha, the super hero squad, and Kabuki.

Quality Life stuff

Why cant we sit AND wish on stars? And I don’t mean the sit emote; why can’t I sit on a bench and wish on stars?

It sucks when I’m about to hit my rocks or just do a lot of dig work and then my shovel breaks in the middle of it. To show the tool is about to break, cracks should start to form on the handle and get deeper/longer as you keep using it, starting when you have 5 uses left. You can also add an auditory element by making the tool sound like its struggling when you are using it. Net/Shovel/Axe/Fishing Pole can have cracks show up on the handle, Slingshot can have crack show up at the bottom of the 2 spokes while having 1 at the top of the handle. And the watering can have cracks at the base of the can.

If our inventory is full when I dig up a flower, why can’t I replace it with another flower to bury? And if I can dig up an item at an diagonal item, I should be able to bury it again at the same angle.

Other

Having more...liveliness?? on the island, idk how else to say it. Example is whenever you travel by plane there's a chemtrail in the sky afterwards, maybe just seeing other planes go by throughout the day. Maybe you can get a hint Redd or Gulliver will be visiting you tomorrow if you see their boats beyond the horizon, Redd’s just crusin’ and the Gulls’ boats looking messed up. On a week where you don't have a new camper, maybe have an old villager visit. That leads me too

I wish villager’s doors could count as “exterior decorating” and we can just put any ornamental on there instead having to hope that your villager will put the wreath on their own door.

Conclusion

If you read this whole thing holy shit, thanks!! Go treat yourself on my part lol If you disagreed with me or whatever feel free to chat with me about it!

#roodle speaks #animal crossing new horizons #acnh #animal crossing #ac #acnl #animal crossing new leaf #qtiepie

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dragimal · 4 years

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ok this is like. MAJORLY self-indulgent, self-psychoanalyzing rambling so I’m putting it under a readmore, but my thoughts have been spinning in circles over this for like. practically my whole teen/adult life. and I just need to put it down somewhere

idc if anyone wants to read this or respond or anything, again I’m just basically trying to vomit out my thoughts until something makes sense

so like. anxiety. I know I have it, that’s the ONE Problems Disorder I’m 100% certain I’ve got, to whatever degree it matters

but that’s kinda the thing-- to WHAT degree, and DOES that matter? at what point can I say it’s a legitimate part of me, and at what point is it something negligible and unobtrusive?

b/c here’s the other thing-- anxiety is, in fact, a strong aspect of my self-image. it’s something I associate strongly with as a character trait, and I tend to relate to ‘meek’ characters

I know part of it is a defense mechanism. I had to make myself small, being raised by my mom. she’s a whole other rant, but essentially she’s a very defensively prideful person, and any attempt to steer a conversation towards your own accomplishments/needs/interests is met with a blank look and a swift topic change back to herself. (and god forbid u bring up her faults, that would guarantee manipulative guilt-tripping at best, screaming and crying at worst)

but there’s also another convoluted level to this defense mechanism. I recognized at a young age, on some subconscious level, that pride was/is my mom’s greatest downfall. so I internalized that as, “pride (and even more broadly, confidence) is bad and and a danger to those around you”

not to be Homestuck on main, but Dave’s first conversation with Dirk struck me on a level of personal experience that few other pieces of media have ever hit, particularly this bit

obviously the physical aspect of this abuse is beyond me, but the emotional manipulation, and Bro subsequently ruining a generally positive concept (the concept of heroism, in his case) hits incredibly close to home

my mom exuded confidence and always told me that confidence in myself over all else would save me, but she ultimately ruined confidence for me. I know there will always be this underlying thread of fear that if I’m not afraid-- that if I allow myself confidence-- that I will become like her. that I’ll hurt people with my pride

now this is all shit that I’ve known abt myself for a long time, and I know I’ve even mentioned some of this in passing before. but here’s what’s fucking me up nowadays: what happens when you cling to anxiety like this? what happens when you craft a disorder into your personality? where does subconscious reaction end and deliberate masking begin?

b/c here’s the other thing: I don’t truly hate myself. not rly-- not on the level I would say is dangerous or clinical. some of it may very well be real, but I definitely play it up. like play-acting at under-confidence

and it’s not like I don’t have pride either. I have tons of pride for various things I do or accomplish, namely academic studies, crafting/art, and just like working standards in general. when I can eloquently describe/argue my point, or accurately craft something to my inner image, I feel very real pride

but pride hurts. I feel pride, but equal to that is the shame I feel at feeling pride in the first place. it’s genuinely painful at times to accept a compliment without argument NOT because I necessarily disagree (tho there are definitely times where I DO actually disagree), but to accept a compliment is to admit I have pride in the thing being complimented, and THAT is unacceptable

and it’s not like my fear is unfounded either. I’ve hurt ppl w/ my pride before-- and this isn’t my anxiety making me self-critical, I KNOW this for a FACT. it simply comes with the territory of all that “gifted child” bullshit in school. yeah I was one of those. thankfully not a very outspoken student (the anxiety in my younger days was a lot more real and visceral), but I do still distinctly remember moments where my academic pride gave me an... inflated sense of presence over those that didn’t get the material, I guess u could say

I know there were times I made ppl feel small, due to my pride. hell, times I got overly, fearfully defensive of my knowledge or artistic skill to the point of talking over others and making them feel stupid. no one deserves to feel small, and it fucking tears me up to know that I did that to ppl. that I still knee-jerk react in that way sometimes, even now, and it still slips out

and isn’t that just proof that I can’t appropriately handle pride? that I’m not mature enough for confidence?

and it’s not even all about making myself small for others’ sake. half of it is this incredibly selfish knowledge that not living up to my own standards will fucking kill me if I let it

I feel like every ‘gifted kid’ experiences a chain events that starts at, “wow I’m so smart, I’m great at every subject!” and ends at, “christ I’m fucking garbage at literally everything.” we’re taught that success is in being able to do something well the first time (or at least quickly and with little effort), so if we’re not immediately good at something, we shut down b/c we were never taught that success is actually in the effort at the task

this has been talked to death by others so I don’t want to bother w/ it too long, but the critical thing to note is that there’s there’s this eventual sense of defeat in everything you do, when ur brought up w/ this mindset

I used to be somewhat competitive in certain things when I was younger-- the rare sports I played when I was RLY young, academics obviously, etc. or at least, competitive with my own personal standards, if not necessarily against other ppl. but every failure and mistake made me so upset that the angst was like. genuinely dangerous to my health

I used to play golf on a team in middle school, and every time I whiffed it I would get SO angry at myself that my dad literally told me that that level of upset would kill me someday and that I rly needed to stop

so I took that to heart and just. stopped caring

every time I whiffed it after that point, I was just like, “ah, well, what can ya do ¯|_(ツ)_/¯ ” this attitude definitely lowered my blood pressure, but it also rly killed my motivation to like... improve. b/c the thought of even trying to improve brought up all these feelings abt trying to meet my own standards of success, and how much it would hurt to fail

when u don’t set any standards u gotta meet, then when u fail u don’t rly fail, y’know? “well I didn’t even try, so it’s actually fine”

obviously I couldn’t give less of a shit abt golf anymore, but sometimes I wonder if my cold-turkey drop in confidence played a part in killing the interest itself? I know that sports and physical activity were never rly my thing in the first place, but did I perhaps give up so hard that I convinced myself that I didn’t even like those things in the first place?

I know it happened w/ academics at least: start to struggle with math? now I hate math. chemistry? that sucks too. etc etc

I kinda side-tracked here w/ all the talk of ‘gifted kid’ stuff, my point is that I have a vested interest in humbling myself-- to actively craft the persona of a meek, humble person

and I’ve been wondering if that, in and of itself, is manipulative. like, is it manipulative to let others think I rly lack THAT much in self-confidence? that I rly hate myself that much?

it certainly feels that way when I knee-jerk reject a compliment abt something I do, in fact, feel pride in-- when the shame at that pride is too much. but my friends don’t know it’s that reactive shame-- they think it’s that I rly don’t have confidence in that thing

but god, how do I even explain this fucking tangled, convoluted bullshit over my reaction to compliments? that I have to be small or I’ll hurt someone? that I do feel pride, and that’s the problem? what does that even MEAN to someone outside my own head??

and that’s not even to get into whether that manipulation is like, actually some subconscious tactic to get MORE compliments! am I fishing? when I make a post like this, am I actually just fishing for more compliments? is that what I’m doing??

I feel like I’m running in circles here, nipping at my own goddamned heels abt pride and shame and what is real and acting and does it even matter if nobody gets hurt?

do people get hurt? ppl get hurt when I allow myself pride, it’s happened before. but now I’m realizing that my self-hate may hurt ppl too-- my self-deprecation often goes too far, and it hurts the ppl who care abt me

how do I explain that self-deprecation is safe? a shield to hold back my pride? hell, it’s more accurate to say it’s a safe way to EXPRESS my pride in a way that ppl don’t detect. I acknowledge my faults, and if I frame it in a socially-acceptably comedic way, I get the pride of making someone laugh! it’s SAFE pride!

but is it? but is it, when it hurts ppl to hear me self-hate?

is there any way to feel pride safely?

I’ve never thought of myself as an actor, or as someone who can lie well (or at all). but can I lie, when I also believe the lie? is it a lie that I have anxiety? that I hate myself? that I have no confidence?

how much of me is real? how much does that hurt others? how do I carve out the parts of me that hurt others how do I make myself smaller in ways that are genuine and lasting and don’t hurt people??

I want to be small. I like being small. but am I small? or am I playing at being small?

I don’t know. I don’t know.

(cashing in on that safe comedic validation babeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)

#long post #shut up ashley #also @ my friends who may read this:#if it feels like I'm vagueing I'm not like. trying to do that #it's just genuinely easier for me to lay this out in an open format #rather than bring it up in a conversation #I have no idea what the FUCK I'm talking abt right now

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theinsanecrayonbox · 4 years

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KP finally finishes Gifted s2

gave up on this back when FOX was stupid and Marvel had me jaded (still does but meh). so here’s the final 3 episodes and my incoherent babble about them i guess, after not watcing the show or nearly a year and only having my previous babble session as a refresher about what’s going on

Episode 14:

for once the “previously on dbz” segment is needed since,. yeah been almost a year since i’ve watched this...whoops

heeeey opening flashback! i forgot the format of this show...-.- oh hey not-Graydon...you know his comment about “freaks to teleport me through traffic” would’ve been funnier if he was Graydon, since Kurt is technically his sibling...as is Clarice... just saying.

oh right, Lauren was dosed with serum. well, at least it’s working right, really screwing her up. but again, Mom is the only rational and logical one.

how are sewers large enough for a tent metropolis? but oh hey, she knows about past Morlocks hm??? maybe cause some Mauraders action...hm??? or something they previously established with the Brotherhood or not-Bishop explained that i can’t remember, whatever. i’m just happy to see Blink. and the Morlocks have a network to places...like Pittsburgh? i thought they just live din NYC...ok in this story it’s just DC because that’s where we’re set ok, but still...

wait not-Graydon is making Sentinel Guy do the Mauraders plotline?? ooo...

is the Hellfire building CGI? that..looked badly shaded...and Lorna’s hair still looks stupid...though Andy’s hair does too...why do the bad guys have bad fashion sense?

i hadn’t forgotten how Mary Sue the Struckers were though...uhg...but hey don’t sweat it Mom, if Moira McTaggert’ taught us anything, you’re never the only non-mutant in the pro-mutant side; turns out you’l end up being one all along eventually.

oh good back to Blink. please don’t flirt with not-Bishop though. just...go fight Purifiers, since that was backstory for you, ok, that’s way better than flirting. wait Gabby? uh...when’d Blink get blue in her hair?

wait Cop Man, were they dead when you found them, or did you...overall though, i am really liking the atmosphere of the Purifer’s tunnel raid. the mood and tension are great, and the cinematography is doing a good job at keeping it. it’s a shame the editor feels the need to cut back to sunny Hellfire tower to break the atmosphere...but hey

oh don’t get cocky Morlock guys...and grenade, yup cocky. but again, the lighting and mood of everything in the tunnels is really good. the power effects not so much...but tv budget. and i had actually forgotten not-Bishop had a lazer eye O.o

dang Mom you are still best OC here

nooooo you shot Blink!!! baby girl nooooooo. idc about Sentinel Guy’s burst of conscious at “wait there are mutant children?” you shot best girl Blink. boo on you

Episode 15:

flashback time yay -.- but Blink! won’t make me forget you shot her since the recap ended on that...but hey tell me more about her past please, i really want to know why she doesn’t think she’s best girl. just saying “i was with the brotherhood and i didn’t like it” doesn’t cut it...and John no, you’re not allowed to give out redemption to everyone unless they are convenient to your aesthetic or philosophical interpretation, that’s why Krakoa preaches

John you don’t have time to fight not-Bishop out of grief ok. you were a ranger, you should realize that.

wait, so Reeva’s the one to blame for the council of stupid on Krakoa? that...actually makes sense, since she’s done tones of hypocritical last minute rule changing plans. weird.

really, my joke about Sentinel Guy’s heel turn was right? he honesty never realized that there were mutant children? i...wow

hey Lorna’s tiara. it makes her hair slightly less stupid looking. makes her outfit a tad stupid though...she should have more of that green popping somewhere, like her knives or a wrist band, or something.

really John just stayed there punching a wall and no cops found him? bad writing.

oooo is Dad gonna fry Cop Man?? sorry, disintegrate, i forgot what he did. and holy crap he did-sweet!

there are a lot of dutch angles in this episode...

oh Lauren don’t turn on your Mom, c’mon! why is no one thinking realistically?

hehe Cuckoos and fashion joke...although why did they get a pop of color elsewhere...or were the boots white just to point out the dirt

“do you think we can mind control our way to a mutant homeland” hm...should i just put in a cut off now for shots at Krakoa?

Mom you’re the only one with a brain! don’t sacrifice yourself because “i has no powers”

gasp! Sentinel Guy *SEES* a mutant child, now he knows for reals they exist. i’m sorry but this heel turn for him is stupid. i get the “i never saw them as *people* and now i do” but the way it’s framed is, as i’ve said “wait there are mutant CHILDREN?? O.o” and that is just bad writing

i swear, if Lorna trying to save Andy gets her killed, i will hate the Wonder Twins even more forever. but at least i agree with his “well her plan sounds stupid” when he learns the truth. they could’ve colored Lorna’s zippers the metallic green, that would’ve tied her costume together...sorry distracted

Lauren’s shield looks like bubble wrap...and she’s super pouty wth?

ok the Dad-Andy monster talk was really good...ruined by Lauren’s stupid face inserts sure, but the talk was really good.

hey back to not-Graydon and Sentinel Man. ah yes, i knew killing Cop Man would just switch Sentinel Man back in the end, that is also why his little epiphany was so annoying, because ultimately it was pointless.

aw man sappy music when the OC Family gets back together...yeah ok, but still i’ll groan a bit because uhg. but ooo Lorna comes back to Marcos too ok now it’s less groany (but still overly cheesey and neon annoying). do kinda like John on the roof...too bad the over the top music drones it out a bit.

Episode 16:

the finale! i don’t...know what to expect going into this, other than Blink pops in at the end and might be Exiles Blink?

hey the last time shows the reunion scene would’ve worked well without the over the top music. huh

oh the flashback is the 7/15 event. heh Hawks News, instead of Fox, heh. but otherwise...meh, mandatory flashback

so their plan is, use the Uber Mary Sue Wonder Twins to destroy a skyscraper. i...sure, what else can we expect from the Strucker Show (maybe Dad will sacrifice himself and do it all on his own, that’d be a neat-yet obvious-twist)

you can tell John’s depressed cause his hair isn’t floofy anymore ^^;;;

again, Mom’s the only one with thinking ahead skills.

oh, we’re getting spliced in flashbacks...yeah Dad’s gonna die.

Cuckoos! srry, still one of the best parts of any episode. and our dear Esme is starting to turn...

oh John’s going Warpath on us with his face paint (yes he’s Thunderbird, i know). the John vs Sentinel Guy thing might be a bit much, but this is an awesome fight for John...even if he is being a fool and self sacrificial.

at least it was a commercial break that broke the energy of the fight scene, and not just a scene change. also, more flashback, i’m even more convinced Dad is gonna die.

did they dye Andy’s hair so he and Lauren would look more twinny? that’s stupid...and a point i probably already made...

hm...since Bishop is from the future, are they implying that Erg is his ancestor? (though that fails to track with the timeline of DoFP IF this is the same continuity of course)

ooooooo John said it, he is Thunderbird...and i think his face paint changed between shots because that white line wasn’t there by the dumpster scene...whoops

oh don’t tell me the power of friendship is going to save the day. oh good, no, just the standby of “kill the evil cuckoos”

well the Wonder Twins are down for the count, so even more thinking Dad’s gonna die to blow up the Hellfire building...wait...you can’t control your powers when Reeva sonic screams? well Dad has no control-PERFECT!

wow there are a lot of power fights here. no wonder the affects in other episodes sucked, they spent the budget on the finale lol

hey Dad has the same plan i did. again, the writing telegraphed that was the ending...but still, i give Dad credit, he has grown as a character. the flashback doesn’t help though it just spells it out “this is best OC love him he is best ever” which...yeah, this show does that with the Struckers, we’ve covered that a millions times by now

i wonder if Dad touched himself would be disintegrate? also, shouldn’t his kids be safe, since same strain of X-gene are supposed to be immune...or does that only apply to certain power types?

not to play it down, but yup, dad exploded. if it wasn’t so thrown at you that that was how it’d end from, the start, then this moment might’ve had more impact...also the moment itself was kinda “you knew this was coming, there it’s done”

hey Esme’s on their team now, neat! i thought she’d be independent.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Blink’s back! but she had a collar on her coat that was reminiscent of her AoA costume, and she opened a portal to a place with burning fire...kinda like the DoFP setting/AoA, and she never addressed anyone by name, just a general “come with me”....so yeah, that was totally Exiles Blink, and not the Blink of this story. that’s really kinda awesome.

too bad we won’t be following up on that since there’s no plans for season 3. but...it was an ok way to end i guess. it closed off the story for our main people, and we all know that it’ll never end with a “and they all lived happily ever after in peace and harmony” because it’s Xmen. it opens the door for other stories to happen in the same setting...and leaves the big hole about Blink at the end, but yeah...

but now it’ll never be followed up probably because disney/marvel thinks the Xmen are the Inhumans now *shrugs* whatever, i finally finished The Gifted, i can check that off my To-Watch List

#kp watches stuff

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fandomtrashandbalderdash · 5 years

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EASTER VENT REEEEEE

Alright. I’m writing this Tumblr post for the sheer purpose of venting about transmasculine stuff. If you don’t like vents, or the LGBTQ+ community, please do not read on.

First thing’s first, some of the stuff I’m going to explain is in this post. Also this one. So go and read those first. (Don’t worry, they aren’t long.)

The venting starts now. (Sarcasm may be included.)

Ahhh, Easter! The day that Jesus resurrected! It’s a time of celebration, and worship! For me, since my family is Christian, every year on Easter, we have to dress up and go to church and do stuff like listen to the service, Easter egg hunts, etc. This may not sound like a big deal to anyone else, but to me, it’s a nightmare. Why, you may ask? Well... I happen to be...

AFAB

Transmasculine/demiboy

Agnostic

And worst of all...

Still in the closet.

As you know, at church, people assigned female at birth, even the closeted transmascs...

Have to wear...

DRESSES.

I know other people have no problem wearing them, but for me? UGH, forget about it. I already have a negative mindset about my body (gender dysphoria AND body dysmorphia), and dresses don’t really help all of that. And on top of THAT, I’m a high-functioning autistic, so they’re also as uncomfortable as all hell!

And, this “all plays out in my favor too”! Again, I’ll say it: my family is Christian. And they’re the type of Christians which... *is now on game show* *points to door 3*

SHUN THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY FOR NO REASON AND ARE BLATANT HOMOPHOBES AND TRANSPHOBES!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!

And that’s my situation. There’s no way to tell my loving relatives that their beautiful daughter is, in fact, not their beautiful daughter, but instead is their beautiful son. Also, some more proof. I just heard my father say the other day that trans people would always be their assigned gender at birth, no matter how many chemicals they pumped in their bodies. Even though I don’t plan to start testosterone in the future (gonna try to maintain a sort of androgynous look), this completely and utterly devastated me. But all I could do was play innocent and ask him, “What chemicals?” which also made me feel worse. He didn’t answer.

So, I have to wear a dress the whole day, with more and more relatives and friends and other people telling me I’m beautiful. Which will feel like a Minecraft diamond sword stabbing straight into my mental health. Which sucks.

And, I was just informed yesterday that I also had to go to a family event. I know I should appreciate having a family, and them being able to have events, and blah blah blah, but that just means more pretending I’m their pretty little daughter. More diamond swords stabbing into me. And then I go home. I’ll probably reblog this post with an update at this point, if you guys want.

Yeah, that’s pretty much the whole layout of my day today. At least I went to see The Lightning Thief: The Percy Jackson Musical yesterday. And bought a plush squirrel with a little lightning bolt sweater.

So at least I have that. And I have you guys to talk to. I appreciate it. Thank you for reading this whole post. DM me if you want about it, idc. Have a good Easter, Tumblr.

#lgbtq #lgbt vent #lgbtq vent #vent #lgbt #transgender #trans #ftm #ftm trans #transmasc #transmasculine #lgbt struggles #dresses suck #i hate my life #i hate this

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tuiyla · 2 years

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#sometimes i wonder if i'll ever reach this 'idc what literally any of you say she's the best'#stage with santana

Lowkey thought you were already there

Lmao, well Anon you're not wrong but let me elaborate.

I was just musing to myself in the tags because it is different with Katara, you know? I wasn't there from the very beginning for the Avatar fandom but now in 14 years of retrospect, I might as well have been (premiered in 2005, I started watching in 2008). And I've just,,, seen it all. And part of it is just me being older now but I've debated different aspects of this show so many times and have written so many odes to my all-time favourite character. What I mean when I say I don't care what literally anyone says about Katara, I mean that I really cannot be swayed on anything regarding her. Nor do I want to change anyone's mind at this point, she's just a part of my, well not to sound dramatic but part of my soul and there's that.

And I think had I been with Glee from the beginning I would have seen it all there, too, but I'm relatively new to it. And I'd say I'm very grateful the fandom's much slower now but it was a deliberate move from me not to bother getting into Glee while most of the people were still active because even from the sidelines I saw how it was and decided it wasn't for me. Now that I am part of the fandom and I do love Santana, I'd say I'm not at that ultimate stage with her. Maybe that's a not yet situation, I'm not sure. Tbh she does have a much, much bigger hold on me than I ever thought possible.

But I will engage with people who dislike her, I will engage in debates (not arguments though) and yeah, there are trash takes I won't take into consideration (re: The Outing) but overall I guess I'm... What's the best way to phrase this, if only my job literally had writer in the title lol. I'm holding her out in the open, compared to Katara. Believe it or not, I'm less protective of her. And that's honestly partly also the difference between the characters not just my own relationships with the two fandoms. Santana, while I believe a fundamentally good-hearted person, has a lot to be criticized for. So I engage in those conversations because there's more to talk about in that sense, flaws to explore, and I understand that for some people she'll never be a fave for the reason of having been a bully.

And like I say people who say she had being outed coming suck ass, but there is a conversation to be had about her cruelty and yes, even the cruelty that led up to that particular event. The thing I see people say about Katara that similarly makes my blood boil? That she talks too much about her dead mother. Like, wtf, after a while how do I engage with that. How do I engage with people turning a 14 year-olds trauma from when she was 8 into a meme. I can take people calling Santana irredeemable even though I disagree, but I can't take people missing the entire point of Katara's character anymore. Who also happens to be an incredibly compassionate ch and the very heart of her show, btw, so the ~problematic~ buzzword of contemporary fandom discourse shouldn't even apply, not in a way it does to Santana.

Tell you what I never thought I'd be comparing Katara and Santana of all characters in such a way lol but hey, anything can happen. I don't know if that explains it or if this was even an invitation to explain but there you go. TL;DR I've grown beyond the need to discuss Katara with people who don't see her the way I do, whereas with Santana I do welcome that. But ask me again in 13 or so years if I've reached the same stage with her.

#i realize what i say about discussing katara sounds bad #i welcome other perspectives but i'm also just Tired of running in the same circles #I've loved katara for 14 years and i've loved santana for like one #it's not the same #anon #glee asks #santana asks #katara #the glee x avatar crossover you did not expect #just your daily 2am rambling

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laufire · 6 years

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Name a ship that most represents your type of ship.

Isabelle and Raphael from Shadowhunters, hands down. (Beware: this turned into a long post that talks at once about all my current -and some not-so-current- otps).

-LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. “Why are you helping me?” “I don’t know.” – Shadowhunters

Half my dash must be tiring of hearing this, but I adore this trope. I love how it moves things along: the character is already in love -automatically, the relationship goes into Intense™ territory, you get swept into its groove, whether you like it or not (another reason why these ships, when they raise hate, the RAISE hate xD). Emori and John in The 100, Matt ~sensing Elektra across the room in Daredevil, Wes seeing Rebecca for the first time in HTGAWM, Derek and Jesse in TSCC (I want to start re-watching that show soon so I have that ship very present *sniffs*), Bruce and Selina in Gotham (and IIRC, every BatCat adaptation worth something has this in some form -it is a MUST).

With Rizzy, like with other ships (Caroline and Klaus in TVD, Bellamy and Raven in The 100), it might not be literally at first sight, but the result is the same: they might know of each other, but it is the first time that they really MEET, that something HUGE happens (Raphael feeding on Isabelle, Klaus offering Caroline his blood, Bellamy and Raven’s first time), when you can feel it. I love these cases too, because it offers the possibility of including a messy history/start/etc. (something that you can see at various points of this list lol), while simultaneously giving me the opportunity of experiencing the LAFS moment on present time, instead of in flashbacks (Elektra and Matt) or references (Harvey and Scottie in Suits).

-UNPLANNED, UNFORESEEN, UNWITTING. “But it doesn’t make any sense, it came out of nowhere!!” – the fandom lol

This is somewhat related to the LAFS point, and a criticism I’ve seen time and again about more than one of those ships, but in this case is multiplied by a hundred xD

And I wanted to make a separate point for this because, lbr -you rarely see this complaint (or at least not as generalized) when a PILOT ShowTP goes for LAFS. But that is something I love about these ships: it wasn’t in the original plan, there was no “build-up” that could have pointed at it, and it’s likely that the writing team behind it never had an inkling of the effects the ship could have on the writing. Some of my favourite cases are Bellamy and Raven, Caroline and Klaus, Bonnie and Kai, Emori and Murphy… these ships irremediably alter the foundations of their ‘verse, they re-shape the story. I love that something that came “out of nowhere” can have that effect. I love it.

This meta by @candyumbrella does a great job explaining this (far better than I could, and besides, this post is already getting longer than I expected ^^), and it even does it through Isabelle and Raphael. Her Ted and Tobin’s posts in general have been illuminating wrt how tv writers work, and in relation to this post, I’m more aware now of what makes me ship certain things, why something that on paper should be appealing to me falls flat, etc. I’d recommend them all, but beware because they will take hours of your life XD

-STAR-CROSSED LOVERS. “If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it.” – Hamilton

Was there anyone who did not FREAK THE FUCK OUT with the “at the brink of war” line? Because I don’t believe them.

Look, it’s obvious. It’s cliché. I don’t care. I live for this trope. Allison and Scott from Teen Wolf was one my favourite instances of this trope (my bbys ;_;); it was one of the things that interested me of Allison/Derek too, as a crack ship; it was the whole premise of Still Star-Crossed and I’m not even gonna pretend I didn’t shamelessly enjoy every second. It was what instantly made Rosita/Waverly my OTP in Wynonna Earp, aka the most impossible out of all my rareships xD. Priya/Sierra and Tony/Victor in Dollhouse (I never know wtf to call the people on this show istg) had this element too, even if it was in a “us vs the world” sense, more than “we’re on different sides of a conflict way bigger than us and everything is stacked against us fuck” lol. Cassian and Jyn could go there too.

And obviously, Isabelle and Raphael as a ship have this written on its DNA, given how the ‘verse positions Shadowhunters and Downworlders. Outside the 219 scene (*_*), I think 213’s meeting in the alley managed to showcase it really well.

-EX-SOMETHING, EX-MAYBE, EX-ALMOST. “Well never be done with each other.” – Shadowhunters

I loooooove exes. Actual exes, proto exes, centuries-old exes. Something I love even more is “bitter exes that still have a special connection no one else gets or beats” (Camille and Magnus, Carlos and Kisa on FDTD, Elektra and Matt, Harvey and Scottie -and on the bitterest, most fucked up side, with ships like Katherine and Stefan on TVD or Derek and Kate on Teen Wolf. I even consider Rosita and Waverly could belong here, idc if it was one simple kiss okay xD). Obviously Isabelle and Raphael aren’t bitter, but they might get there, if I’m lucky! A girl can dream! (weird thing to say about an otp? I don’t care xD)

And one thing that is significant of these types of ships, and obviously of Raphabelle, is that, whether they’re together or not (hell, Izzy and Raphael have never really “dated”), narratively speaking, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make any difference. They’re still connected, one simple scene where they merely look at each other across a crowded room can resurrect the ship after years not even speaking to each other. Hell, with Caroline and Klaus it only took one phone call xD

-CAN’T QUIT EACH OTHER. “I’m just asking for a little taste.” – Shadowhunters

I guess this relates somewhat to the previous point, but I wanted to reference the addiction plot because for me it isn’t a bug, it’s a feature xD I’ve seen people say things like “I know they started out as problematic™ with the addiction, but now that they’re over that, they could be a gr10 ship!!”, and fuck that¸ tbh xD They’re a great ship because of the addiction storyline. It adds this messed up layer of wonder, of doubt, over the ship that I love. And obviously, there’s the appeal of “we’re bad for each other but we can’t stay apart!!” angst. My lizard brain likey. And it’s definitely a huge part of the appeal of Matt and Elektra, BatCat in general…

-SHARING SECRETS. “Nobody knows. Except for you.” – Shadowhunters

Things like Isabelle admitting she doesn’t feel strong, Raphael revealing the story about her sister, Bellamy telling Raven about how he felt about his mother’s death, Harvey confessing about Mike’s fraud to Scottie even if he knows it won’t make any difference, or only being capable of admitting to her voluntarily that he’s seeing a therapist… That kind of thing gives me so much joy :D

And lbr, the “except for YOU” part? HUGE draw, yup.

-CHARGED INTIMACY. “#they might as well have been alone #were there other people in the scene? who cares. they were all irrelevant. – @magalimoons lol

Any shipper would know what I’m talking about. That moment where Isabelle leaves mid-conversation with Alec and Meliorn in 214 to go to Raphael, or when they talk at the end of 210, or when they talk in 219. Bellamy and Raven in 413, when he’s telling her how much they need her and everyone and everything else disappears of the room (that’s the scene referenced above lol), or when A.L.I.E. posses Raven, and despite everyone else being one room away without even a door separating them, this feeling of intimacy falls over the scene. Caroline and Klaus looking at each other when he appears during the graduation event in 423, Root and Shaw in PoI. Literally everything about Rizzy in 209.

*Swoons*

–BLOODSHARING. “they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It’s like a whole big sucking thing.” – Buffy the Vampire Slayer

This has been one of my favourite tropes for-fucking-ever, guys. I think my first experience with it was Blade? Or Angel and Buffy? I’d say Blade. In any case: it changed my fucking life. The fact that Rizzy includes it is the cherry on top of this beautiful ship-cake.

On another note: blood transfusions totally count xD Furiosa and Max come to mind, for example.

There are other things that add to the ship for me: Raphael’s aceness (I project a lot onto him even without it so), the weird catholic/heretic themes xD, how beautiful they look together (I once was accused of “only” liking them because they looked hot together, which. LOL at the only, given this post and every other I’ve written about them, but also. OFC I like that they look hot together. That’s not only a good thing, it’s an IMPORTANT thing, among other reasons, because if the writers like your ship, they will look hot together xD).

And it’s not that if it doesn’t have any of those I won’t like a ship XD; in fact, some of my biggest OTPs lack some or even most of these traits (Gabrielle and Xena, Brigan and Fire in the Seven Kingdoms Trilogy, Clark and Lois in some versions), or that there aren’t other romantic tropes I love that don’t fit Rizzy (the Unholy Matrimony trope is one of my favourites, for example), but well. I know what I’m about xD

#rizzy #raphabelle #isabelle lightwood #raphael santiago #shadowhunters #anonymous #talking to the void #my thoughts #sh thoughts #favourites: love at first bite #favourites: love is the drug #favourites: the powah of lurve #you WISH your faves could ever #long post for ts #why is this so long lol

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nymph-net · 7 years

Text

ISSA STORYTIME

Hey y’all it’s yah boy yung dumbfuck back at it again with the bad decision making skills. I’m here to entertain y’all with another absence of any common sense or home training. This story ima spill tea on the time I was the weekend bitch! Mhmm I was living the side chick life like SZA and unknowingly had a time share with another girl. Now without further ado, let’s make it do what it do.

Before we even get into the actual story y’all just gotta know the dude was ugly and white. There, I said it bitch. He was ugly as fuck and smelled like corn chips and feet. Don’t judge me I was in high school and desperate for any male attention because I was insecure in my blackness at the time. That being said, let’s get on with it. The first part of the story takes place Halloween of my junior year of high school. Now this was when I reeaaaally wasn’t feeling myself and felt insecure because I ain’t like my baby faced ass smh. My friends and I had been planning a small get together on Halloween because niggas needed to get lit after dealing with the stress of the school week. Now I wasn’t even supposed to be doing that because I was already grounded for getting alcohol poisoning at homecoming the previous weekend (a different story for a different day lmao). But since we had a half day I had more than enough time to beat my mom home. Anyway we knew this gross senior boy who we gon call Patrick Star that absolutely had no friends in his own grade, and because he was desperate for friends he would literally let us throw parties in house and give us free alcohol. White people are wild like that. So my best friend Kelendria, her girlfriend Queen Latifah, and her friend who we’re gonna call Basura, headed to Patrick’s house after school and just got drunk out of our minds. I don’t know how it happened but we were playing truth or dare, then Patrick and Basura started randomly making out. Nobody dared them to either.....they just started kissing out of nowhere which was weird af? But my trade hungry ass at the time was like

Oooohh, so we got some undercover dick munchers in the house? Bitch it was a snack wrap from that moment. His fate was sealed and that dick was mine. After Patrick gets done sucking Basura’s face, he puts his arms out to Kelendria and says “Kiss meeeeee” drunk ass sounding like the skeleton mom from spongebob that was like “i hate chocolate”. Kelendria just looks at him, takes a shot, and is like “If you touch me I will pull your nasty ass foreskin over your face and choke you with it, try me”. Being the gross teenage boy he is, he somehow takes that as the go ahead and tries to kiss her. So Kelendria and her girlfriend start legit beating his ass. It’s ok tho we used to fight for fun while we were drunk all the time so no one was shook. I took this opportunity and led Basura upstairs to this room in the attic and locked it. My fast gon jump straight to the point and say “Do you want me to suck your dick?” smh I was really bout that hoe life back in the day. Of course Basura was like hell yeah nigga (he aint say nigga, trust) so I pushed him back onto the bed and started unzipping his pants. I’m giving all these sexy faces and serving nothing but pout hunty, and I can tell he’s living for it. I finally pull his pants down and bitch.......my face.......

NIGGA WHERE THE REST OF THE DICK AT??? Put that fraudulent shit back and give me the real thing bitch! That shit was literally no bigger than my middle finger I was soooooo maaaaad. I was so hurt I went through all the emotions of Lemonade in that one moment. And to top it off, TO TOP IT TF OFF, this boy says as a direct quote “I’m sorry it’s small”. This nigga did not just apologize to me for his dick being small omfggggg. Don’t get me wrong tho I still sucked that dick for points. I know, I wasn’t a fraction of shit back then. Sue me bitch. Now that’s all ima say on that event because this already tew much. Skip to the Monday after and I’m at rehearsal for my school’s musical and my loud mouth ass friend walks up to me and says “You gave Basura head?!”. I just looked at that hoe and blinked. Like shut up bitch, number one why you so loud??? Number two, how tf do YOU know? They go on to tell me that Basura been running his mouth. Immediately i dropped what I was doing and was like whelp I guess this the day I get expelled. My friend was like “Nooo don’t fight violence is blah blah blah” I just pushed that hoe out my way and kept looking for him since school had only just let out. Now that snake ass bitch texted him as soon as I left and told him to run, so I never caught him that day. However the next day before classes start, I head straight to that micro phallus dick nigga’s locker. That snake ass friend is trailing behind me talmbout some “You need to plan what you’re gonna say, we need to avoid conflict” I turned around and looked that hoe straight in the face

Wtf do you mean “we” bitch, you speak French?? So I go to his locker and slam that shit shut while he’s taking his books out. He looks at me and he knows he done fucked up. Now this nigga was lucky, because I’m bout my grades and my personal record, so I wasn’t gonna touch him during school. I just put it bluntly “If I catch you telling anyone else about what happened I’m beat the shit out of you”. Don’t get me fucked up now, being gay don’t mean shit I’m from 16th street in DC, ask about it. I’ll still whoop that ass like you’re my child. I walk away after that cause I don’t need to hear shit that nigga got to say. I had him so shook we ain’t speak for the rest of that school year. Now the rest of the story takes place my senior year of high school. I came back after summer break looking all types of golden and delicious. I got a lil more fit and started to dress to gag, so the trade was coming out of the wood works to holla at me. It had been almost an entire year so I’d forgotten about the shit tbh. Every lunch period my friends and I used to sit outside, so one day while I was coming in at the beginning of 5th period, Basura approaches me for the first time since I threatened to stomp him out. I’m just like hey lol. We talk for a little bit and out of nowhere he asks me “Do you wanna go on a date this weekend?” Being who I am it takes a lot to get me shook, and bitch, I was shook.

I had never been asked on a date before, it was really sweet and flattering. So I said no. I was not going on my first date with this trash ass nigga. But then I was like we could hang out and he can buy me starbucks. And because I have yet to meet any nigga dumb enough to tell me no, we do just that lol. Nothing noteworthy or memorable happens when we hangout, it’s dry af but we keep talking afterwards. Because my ass was a naive high schooler and lonely, I got low key attached to ole dude smh. But after a little while he started acting funny. He’d cancel on me frequently, go ghost for days at a time, and hide his phone from my view, which was weird because that wasn’t even my man. Eventually one day I’m hanging with my friend Sausage during lunch, and her messy ass casually mentions that she was reading this girl named Elbow’s tweet storm online about how her boyfriend’s been neglecting her to spend time with a gay dude. Of course I was like yaaass lemme catch the tea gorl! So I’m reading the tweets on her phone, and some things start to add up in my mind.....this girl was shading ME

Sausage was like “I didn’t know how to tell you but she’s been talking mad shit about you”. I was like oooooooohhhh word?? I was literally at a lost for words because....I have no idea who you are, like what even is your name sis? People can say whatever they want about me idc, but broadcasting about me on social media hoe? Now das a done deal. So I was like cute, we gon roll up on this fathead queef tomorrow during lunch. Of course Sausage was like “yas bitch lets do it I wanna stomp that trick”, messy ass. Lol they were friends too, she just really ain’t like her. The entire time until the next day my drakemotional ass is sitting aggy af, because I know damn I can’t pick a fight with this girl and let Sausage beat her ass. I mean I was still gonna read her for speaking on me like a reckless hoe, but neither one of us were in the wrong. Basura was the dusty shrimp dick bitch who was stringing both of us along. I was really in class about to bust out singing Love Galore because nigga....you know you know better. I felt like a whole dumb ass letting this ugly mediocre white boy stunt on me because I gave him a little bit of clout. Smh I was so over myself but I had to keep up my bad bitch facade.

So I leave campus the next day during lunch and Sausage texts me to tell me she’s sitting in Whole Foods with Elbow. Yes y’all, I turnt up on a white girl in a Whole Foods cafe smfh. I really used to be that bitch. I enter the cafe lobby area where they’re both sitting and working on their homework. Elbow looks up and she’s immediately quaking in her ugg boots, she knew I was there for wigs. Sausage messy behind is just sitting next to her eating her grapes like the messy bitch she is. Before I scalp her, I give sis a chance to explain herself and take the high road out, because I’m mature like dat. The entire time she speaks she doesn’t look me in my eyes once. Tragic. She goes onto say “Well he was my boyfriend first” and talks about how I’m “getting in the way”. And that’s where I had to cut the mf tape. I’m.....in the way? You’re DL ass boyfriend is cheating on you, and I’M the problem??? It was time to drag. So I gave it to her straight no chaser “He may have been your boyfriend first, but he’s been my daycare for a while because that nigga’s guts have been taking care of my kids. Have a nice day sis” and left. I said a lot of worse shit but y’all don’t need to know how shitty I was back then lmao. The entire time Sausage messy ass kiki’d and got her life laughing in her “friends” face smh. After that I called Basura and told that bitch he can kick rocks and if he ever speaks my name again, it’s hands on sight. Sausage asked if I wanted to hang out after that but I said nah and skipped the rest of school that day. I got my black ass on the train and rode it back and forth to both ends of the line listening to No More Drama by Mary J. Blige the entire time. Lmaooo I was a mess

I was just emotional because Basura was the very first boy I had ever given the time of day and that bitch said he was gonna take me to homecoming and everything smh. Obviously he wasn’t because I was just the side chick. I really was the weekend y’all. hE probably ain’t even like me as a person, I was just a fine ass black boy for him to fetishize in private. I still never spoke to him again up to this very day. As for Elbow, I actually reached out to her before we graduated and squashed the beef. Because while she was wrong for shit talking me and blaming me for her man’s infidelity, I ain’t have to drag her to the astral plain and back in front of a store of people. But that’s why you don’t start shit with me, because I’ll make sure I finish it. We’re actually pretty good friends now, I just went to a party at her house a few weeks ago it was fun lol. So what lesson have we learned this time children? Men ain’t shit, don’t be a hoe for just anyone, know yah worth, don’t act a fool in Whole Foods, and most importantly; don’t trust white people.

#storytime #issa #story #black tumblr #side chick #sza #the weekend #funny #writing #long post #text post #relatable #how many of y'all have been side chicks?#be honest

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