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luvrxbunny · 8 months

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pressure

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x F!Reader

Prompt: Collar

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, piv, unprotected sex (lmk if I forgot anything)

WC: 2.0k

A/N: my brain is melted guys- i blacked out idek if this is good or not (not proofread)

He did this because he thought it’d be easy, he thought it’d be a simple way to please you, earn him some boyfriend points… but now he can barely focus. He didn’t realize that there would be this constant pressure over where the leather strap wrapped around his neck. A constant reminder of what he was wearing for you.

You came to him this morning before he left for work and proposed the idea. “I just- I have this cute little collar and you’re basically a cat so..!” He didn’t understand why you wanted him to wear it, but he wanted to make you happy, you had this desperate, pleading look in your eyes that he can never say no to. So he took the collar and clipped it over his neck. At first, he just thought it was too tight, that it’d loosen throughout the day but it never did. You’d come over occasionally and run your fingers over where it slightly bulges through his suit, reminding him of its presence. You’d stick your finger down the back of his neck and hook your finger into it, restricting his air every so slightly, and his cock hardened some more every time you did.

He’s trying to finish some stats that were supposed to be done three hours ago but he can feel his pulse against the collar, almost blurring his vision from how hard his blood is pumping, how his cock is throbbing in time with it all. You haven’t come around to check on him in a little while and although he thought it was an unnecessary tease, he’s craving it now. He’s pouting and upset over the fact that it’s been over an hour since you walked through his office uselessly. His hands keep freezing over his keyboard, balling into a fist repeatedly as he fights the urge to touch himself. Thoughts of you cause ripples of arousal to shoot through him and his neck strains against his collar to hold any sounds in.

He heads to his bathroom to splash some water on his face, focus, and finish his work. He looks up into the mirror while patting his face with a towel and something catches his eye; a tint of red peaking from the top of his suit. He dissipates the hologram and his knees almost give out at what he sees. His skin is rubbed red all around where the collar digs into him, marking him, so that even after he takes this off you’ve still got him on your leash. He puts his suit back up and rushes to your office, he has enough brainpower to grab some files and give himself a ‘reason’ to be there.

Lucky him, your blinds are already shut and no one will question him closing your door behind him. So it’s exactly what he does. You peek from around your computer to see who’s entered your office and your face lights up when you see who it is. You stand and approach him, your eyes on the files in his hand, not even realizing the state he’s in. “Are these the Earth-1045 stats?” You pull them from his hands and start flipping through the papers, confusion blossoming over your face as you realize these are random pages. “Miguel, what are these…” Your sentence dies down as you look up at him. His eyes are dilated and frantically scanning over your face, his chest is heaving, and his breaths are fanning over your face.

You put the papers down and rest a hand on his chest, the other going to his head to check his temperature- thinking he’s sick rather than aroused. “Are you okay?” You ask, genuine concern dripping from every word. His hand is trembling, it’s barely noticeable but you can feel it once he grabs your wrist and pulls it off his forehead. Your brows furrow in confusion as he brings your hand below his chin but everything clicks into place once your fingertips slide over the collar. Your eyes snap back to his and his eyelids are fluttering and his hand leaves yours, reaching for your face instead and pulling you in for a kiss. You leave your hand on his throat as he kisses you, sliding your finger up his neck to feel him shiver against you.

“Me estas arruinando.” You whimper at his words, at how destroyed he already sounds. You didn’t think he be this affected by the collar, it was more to test how far he would go to please you. You were barely intrigued by the idea when you first came up with it but your interest grew and it’s doubled today alone. Seeing him walking around like normal but you know he’s collared under the suit, was doing something to you that you hadn’t expected. He shudders out a breath against your lips once you pull away, your head tilts with a soft “Yeah?” slipping from your mouth like a tease before you can stop it. Your fingers are stroking over the leathers mindlessly but his eyes are rolled back behind his shut lids at the feeling.

(“You're ruining me.”)

You’re being so soft with him, such a contrast to how you’re devastating him. He’s never felt so turned on, so wound up, it’s like every nerve in his body had turned into a live wire and you’re the only one who can fix him. He needs you in a way he didn’t know was possible, deep in his bones and sown into the fabric of his soul. You were made for him and he was made for you. You know him better than he knows himself, proving it every second you’re with him.

Your hands flex over his neck, squeezing tighter for a second and he reacts to it. He growls into the kiss and his arms wrap around you roughly, scooping you from the ground and walking toward your desk. He doesn’t let you break this kiss, his lips chase yours as far as they can every time you try to pull away. He places you on your desk and you moan at the way he grabs your face and holds it against his. Your hands are clawing at his suit, you know you can’t take it off but your brain is cloudy with desperation. After failing repeatedly, you’re able to think enough to slide your hands to the base of his neck, slide under his collar, and pull him back. He finally separates from your lips with a groan. “Take your suit off, sweetheart.”

His adam’s apple is bobbing as he tries to clear his head, his hooded eyes on you and his teeth digging into his bottom lip harshly. His hand reaches behind you and fidgets with his watch until he’s naked in front of you, his cock crying against his stomach for you. He leans in to start kissing you again but you place your hands on his chest to stare at him for a moment. His big, muscular build, shaking before you, his cock leaking down his shaft and a pretty, baby pink collar with a metal heart in the middle, wrapped around his thick neck. His cheeks are tinted red with his ears and chest, and his hands are dutifully behind his back, putting himself on complete display for you.

“So pretty.” You smile at him and dissipate your own suit, putting yourself on display for him. He lurches for you but hesitates, checking your face to see if it’s okay and something about the action has you leaking onto your desk. “You can come fuck me, amor.” His knees almost gave out at your words but instead, he rushed over to you. He cleared some documents off your desk, internally promising to reorganize them for you later. He spreads your legs without a second thought and moans at the sight before him, your lips spreading to reveal your creamy, glistening hole. He presses himself against you, one hand slides behind his neck, and the other hooks into the heart of the collar, keeping him in place. “Put it in, baby.” He moans and shuts his eyes tight, his cock already throbbing against your pussy.

He reaches down and guides himself inside, trying to be gentle despite the way he wants to pound into you. You tug at his collar lightly, causing his hips to twitch and his eyes open to see you leaning up with puckered lips, begging him for a kiss, something he easily complies with. He thrusts into you slowly, savoring the sensation of your wet walls surrounding him.”Me gusta- me gusta mucho, mi amor.”

You moan into his ear at his words and your hips tilt off the desk, changing the way he fucks into you, causing his tip to bump your cervix with every thrust. “You- holy shit, love. You like your collar, sweet boy?” A broken gasp falls from his lips and his thrusts become more frantic. He nods against your neck and he begins to shake your entire desk with his thrusts. There’s an insane buzzing in his stomach, his orgasm already building and bubbling over.

He grunts and slows his thrusts, going harder instead of faster, hoping it’ll help him last longer. Your legs wrap around his waist and force him deeper, your cunt fluttering around his cock as he rests against your G-Spot. His biceps are trembling with exertion, trying to hold himself back for you, wait for you. You stick both your thumbs under his collar and pull him out of your neck, angling his head how you want so you can slot your lips against his. He’s moaning against you instead of kissing you back.

You’re playing him like an instrument, his hips have basically stopped all movement, and you’ve been taking over, grinding yourself into his cock as he trembles. He can’t think, lasting isn’t on his mind anymore, every thought has been taken over by the pleasure you’re filling him with. He’s completely given himself over to you, like the collar has flipped some switch in his brain and he suddenly exists only for you. You stick a hand in his hair and scratch at his scalp soothingly, another painful contrast to the assault of your hips. You pull him in against your lips, moaning breathily into his mouth as he loses his grip, his hips beginning to twitch into you against his will.

“Are you gonna cum, sweetheart?” His arms give out, wrapping themselves around your shoulders instead and blanketing you with his weight as his hips stutter back to life, fucking into you with renewed passion- reinvigorated by the promise of orgasm, the gift of cumming inside you. “No puedo sostenerlo, cariño. Lo siento, me haces sentir tan bien, mi amor. Voy a llenarte, te haré sentir tan lleno.’

(‘I can't hold it, baby. I'm sorry, you make me feel so good, my love. I'm going to fill you, make you feel so full.”)

You nod against him aimlessly- you have no clue what he’s saying but he sounds frantic, desperate, and so close. “Yeah? Tell me more, sweet boy. Talk to me while you fill my cunt.” He whines and his hips stutter to a stop, as deep inside you as he can go. “No puedo- Estoy- Bebé, ya estoy- Me voy a correr en- Joder”

(“I can't- I'm- Baby, I'm already- I'm going to cum in- Fuck”)

He floods your pussy with his cum, everything that’s been building inside him throughout the day. The force of his orgasm shoves shuddering sobs from his chest, your hands wrap around his neck lightly as you savor the way he’s pulsing inside you, content with how he’s filling you. You grind against him languidly, prolonging his orgasm and pulling a thick whine of your name from his throat.

You stroke his hair gently as he comes down, grinding against him slowly to keep his little mewls of “Amor” in your ear. He stays in your office until the end of the day, helping you with some reports but mostly covering you with kisses. He doesn’t take his collar off until he has to shower. He puts it right back on the next morning and it becomes a regular piece of his outfit.

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, here's the rest of my Kinktober Works and be sure to check out my Main Masterlist!!

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koishua · 2 years

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a conversation by the ruby river.

characters: jay, gn!faerie!reader.

synopsis: a little insight into what being friends with a river faerie is like when you're a simple, curious boy.

length: 0.725k words.

notes: this is the result of listening to a hozier playlist uhh yeah anyways so i have no idea what the rules for writing faeries are, but this is... yeah take this as is idek what i did here haha hopefully you enjoy this brief look into jay and fae reader's cute friendship. this might not even make sense but bare with me here y'all

Faintly, he hears the songs of the Forbidden Forest lulling the deers awake from their blissful slumber. The leaves rustle as the breeze blows through the sparsely spread out trees, affectionately stroking his warm skin as he treads carefully through the soft grass, mindful of the little critters crawling beneath his feet. He sees the pink clouds floating across the pale blue sky, unseeking of a particular destination.

The early morning mist settles down by the time he excitedly arrives at a shallow creek, pulling out his sheets of paper all tied neatly down to a worn down leather no wider than the palm of his hand and as narrow as the inside of his palm, perfect to carry around in his secret endeavours in the outskirts of the small town where his house stands, facing the edges of the forest he is now located in.

Jay, carved into the leather bound notebook, is his name.

He fishes out a wooden handle with a thin piece of metal attached to it, also rummaging through his satchel to pull out a container filled with ink in his favourite shade of blue; dark and azure, just like the eyes of the river faerie the pages of his book is filled by.

Jay flips the pages to find an empty spot to run the tip of his pen over, already knowing just what he wants to portray. As the songbirds accompany him through each stroke that makes up your face, he waits for his muse to appear before him as always. True to habit, he hears the distinct splash from the river as red as rubies he sits before.

You are there, crouched elegantly over the boulder a little to his right, the stream of water divided into two around the large rock as it continues its journey downwards. Waving a hand at him, you chime a happy “Good morning, boy!”

His eyes train over your iridescent wings, just as mesmerized as the first time he’d seen them. “Hello, Faerie. You look quite ecstatic today. Did you finally get those spotted slippers you’ve been wanting?”

Your laugh rings delicately in his ears, a sweet little tune he adores hearing. To his delight, he hears it quite often whenever he is able to meet you on days like these. The air around you glows a faint yellow when you chuckle, meeting his question with an eager response, “No, but I have got even bigger news.”

Jay leans closer to the riverside, setting his page down with his pen. Equally, you step nearer, magically standing over the calmly running water, not at all disrupting its flow. “Look,” you point at a small insignia on your saturated skin, “I’m now old enough to cross the border. I’ll be able to visit you whenever I gather enough energy!”

“That’s great.” He finds himself hopping onto his feet with joy. “I can show you all of those things I have been telling you about then.”

You nod, dark blue eyes sparkling as though the stars in your irises are swimming in the place called space Jay has heard so much about. “Tomorrow, let’s meet by the Tree of Life, alright?”

Jay nods, pleased by the turn of events. “Understood. Then we can get you some of those pastries I brought with me two days ago and I’ll show you where I live.”

Your brows set in a worried furrow, “Of course, I’ll have to disguise myself with your help too. I can’t be seen walking around with this hair and these wings.”

Jay, in his buzz, had forgotten about those small facts. Indeed, you’d have to hide your wings, which will be a shame, since he adores the way the light shines through the almost transparent structure. “I’ll see if I can find you some fitting clothes or something to blend you right in with us, but for that, I have to get back earlier, because the shops close soon. It’s a Sunday, so no one works much today.”

“That’s perfectly alright. You can go, I don’t mind.”

“Great, I’ll be back after my lessons tomorrow and bring you the things I could find.” He packs up his little station of items back into his satchel, careful not to smudge the ink that is still drying on the sheet. Sadly, he hadn’t gotten around with much progress on his drawing, but that could wait.

For now, he waves you goodbye and sets off to catch an open clothing shop before the sun fully rises right above his head.

permanent taglist (one). @shekllls @eternallyhyucks @yjwfav @speckled-sunshine @luvningkai @youreverydayzebra @ilandsghost @w3bqrl @candysofthours @moontines @rielleluvs @heefused @squiishymeow @just-uaau @catecita @namjoo-jay @shrutiajit @baekhyunstruly @changmin-wrlds @changminurheart @chewychubchuu @taegicarus @marknaeroni @enhacolor @heelariously @chaebb @nshitae @clarakyunisageek @aeonghaseyo @xiaosimp3 @misah0e @ily-cuz-i @jungwoniics @enha-hwajinna @todorokiskitten @bloom-bloom-pow

#enhypennetwork #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen jay scenarios #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jay fluff #enhypen jay imagines

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frogsandfries · 2 years

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Ahhhh

Started out with some lettering--I was able to save time on coloring some I was using the exact same framing, so that was cool and feels like cheating. I needed a new frame in the scene I'm working on, to create better clarity, so I lineworked and inked that pretty much first thing, and now I'm just coloring it.

For now, it feels good to just spend a whole day working on the graphic novel. Y'know, around getting just a little exercise and some food. It feels nice to know that if I get bored, there's something else to do with my hands, but I'm fresh off that diamond painting, taking some time before I fix those popped drills, and I really just want to spend some quality time with my graphic novel.

So, how about some gossip?

The partner keeps talking about getting married. He had a really bad experience where not marrying his late spouse legally led to a lot of unnecessary instability and hardship because her family hated him and didn't respect her either. From this perspective, marriage makes sense, it's a literally legal protection of assets, which means a protection of lifestyle, as much as possible. Additionally, his last partnership wasn't going to result in children. We hope this one will and we're just sorting through stupid reasons that it hasn't already.

On the other hand, I dunno man, I don't really want to get married. No great reasons, I guess. I think it's stupid, I'm kind of bitter about never having like a huge wedding worth talking about, which feels like it's supposed to be at least 50% why you'd get married.

Anyway, I keep talking about a ring. I dunno, of all the types of jewelry in the world, rings are one of two styles that I'll tolerate, the other being jewelry in my ear piercings. I can't do anything that rubs or drags on my skin, but that's another discussion. Since he wants to get married and I keep inventing silly conditions (there's really only two: the ring, which shows I guess how serious he is, in a way; and that we get married, ideally on the solstice but I'll settle for another superstitiously significant day, and this is kind of to just put a ridiculous hurdle to again test how much he actually wants this because I could kind of care less; plus, it would just be cool. With my SAD, sun is literally my life; I might be part plant), he has decided to go looking for a ring. I know what ring I want to get for him, but I've forgotten his ring size, for one. I guess he was going to get me an opal with a quartz cap, which sounds cool as fuck but he didn't show me, and then he ended up finding something with like meteorite bits that just made my jaw drop. So idek.

Anyway, yeah I just don't even have a good reason. I just think marriage is stupid. I just want to get pregnant once in my life, have the adventure of cooking the biscuit and the adventure of raising it into whatever it wants to be--if it wants to be a bagel or an eagle--and be companions with my partner for at least another few years, and maybe a few more years after that, or whatever. Mostly, I just want this stability to continue for at least a few decades so I can keep having my privileged life of arguing about whether we should order food or who should cook, and I can keep working on my graphic novel and eventually finish it so I can do other things with my characters and their universe. And also sex. Speaking of which...... where's the ratchet for the bed frame........

Followup:

We found the ratchet, Mr Definitely Handy Man fixed it up.

Also, I don't want to work on this part of the story anymore. I'm not going to know how to work on the real actual parts of the story, I don't know what I want. I guess maybe it'd be cool to be working on an interesting part of the story? I hate working on the colorwork right now because in the linework, I'm so extremely far ahead--I actually keep flipping about fifty pages back when I open my sketchbook because it hasn't really sunk in how far I've worked into the sketchbook.

I guess I'm pretty close, like really really close to finishing this issue at this point. I finished a couple frames today, and I'll get a break whether I like it or not, tomorrow. We urgently need to go grocery shopping. I'm just.....I guess I'm tired of feeling like I'm kind of stuck coloring so so far back and at the same time, I'm doing new thumbnails actually hundreds of frames ahead of where I'm coloring, and I'm really excited about how I'm really finding my rhythm and my groove with making the lineworks. I feel like I've really figured out how to draw at that scale and how it relates back to the pixel art and I've really nailed the size my speech bubbles need to be. Now all I really need to worry about is staying on model and having unique character designs and just working my way through the story. Right now, the lineworks are the part of the story that I feel like I'm really growing into this graphic novel and where my motivation is being rewarded. All the frames lately have been really complicated and it's just kind of a drag.......... although...... the frames don't really get any more simple for a while, necessarily. We're well over the threshold at this point, so there's a lot of new scenery and things happening.

I actually have a lot of frames that desperately need a lot of touching up, so I'll probably need to make sure I do that before beginning to color issue two..... I can't believe I'm already about two-thirds done with issue two linework.........

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mimizepp · 3 years

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ive got a new family that is very silly 👉👈 i think ive got baby fever- anyways!! any hcs for s/o somehow convincing rohan to raise ken (rps kid) and ikkyu (manner manor kid) together 🥺 i bet itd be so wild honestly,,

AHH I LOVE THIS CONCEPT i very strongly relate to the baby fever + with rohan this is defo gonna be interesting.. honestly these are a bit random and a complete mess but it was sooo fun to write. ENJOY !!!

s/o convincing rohan to raise kids hcs + scenario

- when s/o first brings up the idea of rohan helping them raise ken and ikkyu.. he scoffs and leaves the room

- he is in no way against helping s/o raise the kids! he just thinks he’d be unreliable having to watch over children full time (clearly he won’t explain this well)

- he’s worried that his focus on work could potentially become harmful if he has to watch over the boys at the same time

- s/o knows this and assures rohan he’d be great at raising ken and ikkyu

- rohan has already met the boys in question.. and he’s come to love them. he understands them well (partially thanks to heaven’s door) and tends to become pretty nurturing when around them even if it’s not that obvious

- rohan likes ken's toned down optimism (when they first were introduced rohan noted that ken’s personality is comparable to mikitaka’s)

- ken always runs up to rohan’s side and hugs his legs (he secretly thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever)

- rohan can see much of his personality in ikkyu, as much as he hates to admit just how strongly he relates to such an obnoxious child

- aka rohan wants to help ikkyu grow out of this bratty behavior (will do his best to not just use heaven’s door to fix this issue)

- after a few minutes of thought (quietly excited about being a bigger part of ken and ikkyu’s lives) he takes s/o’s hands and tells them he’d love to help raise the boys

- little did rohan know how crazy it can get having to spend every day with ken and ikkyu in his own house

- on their first day all together as a little family it was so sweet + rohan and s/o relaxed as the boys did simple activities like coloring and playing catch

- s/o had to leave for work the next day and rohan didn’t anticipate anything too crazy.. but then ikkyu found his way to rohan’s work room

- and shit was it bad

- rohan was showing ken how to draw a daisy in the living room (aw) and was so focused that he didn’t notice ikkyu sneak off for a whole five minutes

- this man damn near teleports upstairs and finds his studio a complete fucking MESS (loads of books taken off the shelves, drawers pulled open and fucked with, damaged fountain pens..)

- but most importantly, the ten manga pages he finished up the night before were scattered about with a bottle of ink spilled onto them

- while shaking and filled to the brim with anger he turns and sees ikkyu by the door, who simply says “well? clean it up, asshat. it’s your house..” (IDEK WHAT THIS IS IM SORRY)

- rohan doesn’t know what the fuck to do. yell at ikkyu for making a mess? berate him for calling him an ASSHAT?? clean up the room himself???

- just as rohan was about to go OFF, ken walks into the doorway with his own little drawing of a daisy. when i say this man has never looked so soft, i mean it

- he was so overrun with countless raging emotions that he even shed a few tears at ken's cute little work of art

- rohan took a deep breath to compose himself and then turns to ikkyu, telling him that it’s not nice to call people asshat

- ikkyu does an evil little smile and says “bitch, pleas-”

- HEAVENSADOAAAAA

- rohan can’t be bothered to be an actual parental figure at this point so he just writes, “i will clean up rohan sensei’s studio and never refer to him in a demeaning way ever again”

- with a slightly deranged smirk, rohan watches ikkyu cleaning the work room against his will + ken sits calmly in rohan’s lap and flips through a book detailing spider anatomy

- when s/o gets home from work everything seems fine and rohan never tells them about the ikkyu workroom-asshat incident, but he does proudly show them ken’s art :)

#jjba #jjba part 4 #jojos bizarre adventure #diamond is unbreakable #jjba diu #jojo diu #jjba rohan #jojo rohan #rohan kishibe #rohan headcanons #rohan hcs

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whyarewecalledtheshipname · 3 years

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kh3, khux, recoded spoilers:

ramblings about unreality, the BoP, and the journal:

ngl i'm hella late to the party and i'm still not super familiar with what ideas and theories have been made regarding khux shit, unreality shit, etc. these are thoughts i had after rewatching recoded.

i know the maleficent/book scene isn't novel, but i wanna ramble about it anyway.

a question i had when listening to some khux talk: is it agreed that MoM made unreality? bc we know he hid there, right. idk how or since when, i'm guessing it's where he originally disappeared to.

But what's our understanding of that scene in the khux finale, where MoM's telling Darkness about the fictional world, the world he couldn't even conceive? Where neither light or darkness rules?

i've only watched that scene a few times, and i'm not clear on whether MoM's talking about the fictional world as if it already exists, or something he's envisioning.

pff i can't even organize my thoughts lmao. So, my guess at this point is that MoM was envisioning/imagining this world where neither light or darkness rules (and where voices and eyes can't reach but idk what dictates THAT particular rule). By simply imagining/thinking of it, i don't think it resulted in that world becoming real. Cause i thought he said something about that idea having to be "realized", but rewatching that specific scene, he doesn’t. If anyone knows for sure if he ever mentioned something like this i’d appreciate confirmation. [EDIT: MoM does specify putting your imagining into realization in the fan translation, which is more direct/literal and often times more accurate than the official localization…🤷🏽‍♀️]

But—IF it's not enough to /just/ think of it, and you do have to literally put it into realization—. My interpretation of what that means is, you know, putting the idea into action. /Making/ it real. Manifesting it. And that can happen any number of ways. Namely, in this case, putting it on paper. In the Book.

THE BOOK, UGH. The recoded scene. I know it kinda basically confirms that the book can create worlds but again i wanna scream about it a little.

But first. So far, i have that idea. Now as for the actual sequence of events, mmm. My brain goes all over the place for that one. Bc before rewatching those scenes, the question took form of "what came first? the chicken or the egg?" bc an idea i had heard was that Verum Rex, the game, could be a documentation of what's going on in unreality. And i've been flip flopping on that.

for me it would depend on whether unreality as we see it was spawned (that's the word i use) as soon as MoM originally thought of it, and wrote it down. Bc then Verum Rex could be made in the image of that world. On the other hand, if Verum Rex is like, 'additional' realization of the /idea/, then that would mean the game came before (most/some of) the world. But i think the first option is more likely.

So MoM conceived the world --> MoM wrote about it in the Book --> the world became real --> SOMEONE made the world into a game

and that gets into my thoughts about who tf has access to unreality, at least to the extent that they can see into it and observe it, and how. and obv, square enix (in kh) made the game. and square enix is literally "the powers that be" so. kinda an obvious option. but anyway.

i covered my main points ig. so time to scream about how tf this even could happen and why. not that i have any actual answers bc how tf could a book make worlds.

recoded. GOD, RECODED. If i didn't already ramble about HOW the Book could make worlds then i'm about to.

idek where to start lmao. Maleficent. she brings up the book, after she and pete have been rescued/released from the datascape.

(And what IS the datascape exactly? WHAT does it encompass? is the datascape in recoded strictly the data made from the journal? like, could there be multiple datascapes based on different source materials, or based in different devices/computers? ????)

“Yes, considering legend has it the book can conjure, making an entire world filled with beings and powers that have yet to exist.”

So that's just there. We've seen this. So this is assuming we can take the legend as (probable) fact. I'm assuming the Book really /can/ make worlds.

this next part about fairy tales i'm including to like cover my bases and see if anyone has thoughts about it bc i have not thought too much about the concept of fairy tales in kh and what it could mean:

“Really? A book that can just make up a world? I don't know. That sounds like nothin' more than fluffy, pink, kids' fairy tale stuff. It just sounds too good to be true"

“Ah, but who’s to say a fairytale’s not true?”

So that's that about fairy tales. (omg cinderella, dreams coming true, true love's kiss, sleeping beauty, WHHHHH--)

“And I ask you, how does that differ from this world they call the ‘date escape’?”

THIS BITCH. (the quote not maleficent lol) I know that early theories and probably current one's still, suggested unreality/quadratum/other-shibuya were data worlds, or something akin to them. and i mean, yeah, i wondered too, bc of the glitchy stuff with sora’s heart station in the secret episode.

but also, like. this whole world manifested "outside" of kh's reality. like, is it even possible that it COULD be /just/ data? As in, could data just exist on it's own like that? (or is there more? if the part of unreality we see /is/ data, is it only the data aspect of a bigger whole? i've seen a theory talk about this, is why i even bring it up)

If what we see of unreality so far is data, like, does that data exist within something? does it /need/ to?

and if unreality is data, like. i feel like it'd have to be different than that data worlds we see in kh. pure guesswork, but i feel like it's /more/ than just data worlds. /Bigger/.

"how does [world created by the BoP] differ from [datascape of the journal]?" thats the thing, too. essentially, what's the difference between the Book, and the journal.

sHEESH i just rambled in my notes. it's a bunch of guesswork, and idk if i should even put it here. gimme a sec.

okay well might as well address this while i’m here. my guess is that there IS no difference. there is no difference between the BoP and fucking jiminy’s journal, ability wise. We know the BoP doesn’t actually predict the future, it was simply written in the past after the future had taken place.

inherently, there’s no difference.

the difference between their CONTENTS however. one accounts the future (that has already happened, this is kinda important imo). the other records the past.

two things they both share. 1) the events in both books already happened 2) we saw them happen. in reality.

just like the past is fixed and unchangeable, so is the future (bc it’s already happened). We know this.

so what ISNT fixed and unchangeable? if literally all of time IS?

fiction.

okay, well, duh.

this is where my ideas become pure assumptions.

my guess is that like i said, neither of these books holds any special power over the other. and if my next guess is right, then neither of these books holds any special power over literally any other book (in kh).

this has no bearing on my main points above. (did MoM not discover unreality, did he THINK of it? i think he did. did MoM write his idea in the BoP? i think he did. did writing it down result in the idea manifesting as a world? i think it did.)

the idea is that ANY book [any MEDIUM, for that matter (books, shows, movies, games)] can create worlds. THIS world (or these, that we’ve seen in the secret ending and secret episode) is just the only one we’ve been shown.

i could not tell you how. and i could not tell you why. the only guess i currently have is that fictional ideas (given a medium) create worlds bc that’s Just How Things Work in kh. like, it’s literally just the laws of physics of kh.

For SOME fucking reason, fictional worlds given a medium spawn real worlds, outside of kh. hence, unreality. (bc they’re outside of kh reality, and bc they’re Not Real. fictional)

What about the BoP and the journal then? The shit in there doesn’t manifest as a separate world because it has already manifested in reality. That’s why i was saying it was important that the future already happened. bc if you wrote about a hypothetical future, not simply recorded the future as witnessed through your time traveling eyeball, then that would therefore be fiction. even if it’s based on the real world, this hypothetical future would not consist of real world events. An AU, basically. like real world=canon, hypothetical future=noncanon (fanfiction oop) (nonfiction vs fiction)

so if you wrote your fake future shit, it would hypothetically spawn as a world in unreality. IF the idea of the creation of worlds through fictional ideas given a medium pans out lmao.

On the other hand, the power to create worlds really could be special to the BoP or MoM himself. but the reason i don’t assume that in the first place is due to his wording in his khux scene.

“If you imagine hard enough, you can make anything a reality.” (maybe it’s just phrasing. maybe only he has the power and he’s just not specifying it but 🤷🏽‍♀️)

this brings me to Pete in kh2 LMAO LEGIT i just remembered that one theory video about how the fuck pete manifested a whole ass time capsule world by WISHING for it. if all it takes is JUST IMAGINING (in the case of fictional ideas) and WISHING (in the case of real world events), that would throw this whole post out the window lmao.

if imagining ISNT enough, and you DO have to go through the step of /realizing/ your idea, by giving it a MEDIUM, then.

and the reason i stick so much to the concept of giving things MEDIUMS is bc of khux. and this is all based on the english versions of the game.

at this point i’m not even connecting random dots, i’m scribbling all over a blank page but. it reminded me of time travel. to time travel, you leave your body behind, resulting in just a heart. to restore the body, the physical form, you need two things at your destination. Someone with memories of you, and a medium.

a mental/non-physical element, and a physical one.

memories could equate to imagining. a medium to restore the physical form could equate to a medium through which to express a fictional idea. and these two things combined results in a physical manifestation. Except one process restores real people in reality, and the other process creates people/places in unreality. (bc worlds don’t time travel or do they oh god)

the likely thing is that these two things aren’t related at all, esp since i’m working with the assumption that the second process even exists.

there’s also this random google definition of the word medium as it relates to computers: “a particular form of storage for digitized information, such as magnetic tape or discs” 🤷🏽‍♀️

another random idea/question regarding the process by which we’ve seen mediums result in worlds. the journal was converted into data with mickeys fucking macbook computer/machine. and that resulted in the worlds and people written about in the journal being recreated as data, hence data worlds and data characters. (and real people can enter data too without necessarily being data themselves but that’s a random note)

would the writings in the BoP require a similar process? or any other book/medium for the matter? obviously it wouldn’t be the exact same process or it’d just result in a data world, and a fictional data world would just be a video game at that point. is writing it at all the process? i mean i already assumed it is but just thinking.

i thought maybe Verum Rex could have been the process for this world specifically. The video game could be the writing converted into data but i don’t think the time aligns. Like, Verum Rex is like the best selling game right now. and MoM conceived and potentially wrote the idea down back in the age of fairy tales. I don’t know what time shenanigans could explain that time gap.

imo the wildest part of this whole thing is just the assumption that writing down a fictional idea results in the creation of a whole ass world in a whole different plane of existence lmao. like i said, i could not guess as to why this would be the case, only that it could just be part of the physics in kh world. Action, reaction. Conception, manifestation.

if anything, this whole concept of ideas becoming worlds would just be a fourth wall thing. get an idea, put it on paper, make worlds. ofc everyone has recognized the meta-ness of all this lmao i’m here trying to rationalize it in-game.

i had more quotes i didn’t add lol, in regards to the similarities between the BoP and the journal. it’s kinda additional stuff about why i do or don’t assume the things i do. (the first maleficent quote is the biggest tho for me)

“Don’t you think it might just be worth our while to search for a connection? Perhaps there’s a link of some sort between that so-called journal of theirs and the Book of Prophecies.”

(“so-called” why this phrasing? is it that maleficent suspects the journal is more than it seems? is it just the eng dialogue or just maleficent’s speech pattern?)

at this point i’m mostly gonna copy/paste my ramblings, so it’s gonna be messier:

So clearly they’re telling us to LOOK for the connections between the journal and the book. is it for proof that the book of prophecies CAN make worlds?

and also, does it make worlds OUTSIDE of kh BECAUSE you can’t change fate? it depends on the power of the book, and what gives it that power. (if it’s a power exclusive to the BoP after all)

lmao admittedly, this can be encapsulated by stuff Spuuky said during one of his streams about how Jiminy’s journal is OP bc you could create literally anything by writing it down bc converting it into data would make it real, and able to directly affect and interact with the real world. And at that point i was like bruh it’s not the journal it’s the machine but??? LMAO ARE THEY SO DIFFERENT AFTER ALL, i hate this game

and, another random question, does stuff from unreality manifest in kh? and if it does, does it do it on its own or would someone in kh need to access unreality and carry the ideas back over to kh? i already asked this earlier, and my end assumption for now was that verum rex did NOT just leak into kh by accident, someone brought the idea over. and the reason i don’t think it was MoM is because i’m guessing MoM doesn’t work at square enix in kh (nomura is MoM theories incoming lol). And MoM is hiding in unreality (tho he seems to have been coming back to kh every so often when he sees fit, such as his intervention with xehanort).

imma leave this for now, my thumbs are RIP

5 notes · View notes

spider-bih · 5 years

Text

Eleven Minutes.. [Peter Parker]

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: My angst has bust in full force thanks- flashbacks in italics in case thats confusing

A/N: I’m alive??? Works killer n i miss this crai- also, doing page breaks a diff way bc tumblr mobile refuses to show page breaks smh. No, I have not seen Endgame or any leaked footage so this contains no spoilers, (I did see it, since this was edited and made before and after Endgame, however, this will atill contain no spoilers and will continue in how I thought it would end <3) just vague mentions of IW and what an aftermath might be like idek

❝I’ᴍ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ᴀᴡᴀʏ, ᴀɴᴅ I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴅᴀʏ..❞

You assumed you shouldn’t be doing this, what with your state of emotions but.. if you didn’t, you weren’t sure if these emotions would ever settle. You had to have closure, even if the outcome wasn’t what you expected or wanted. Hell, you were barely sure what you even wanted out of this. What was the point? What was there to even gain anymore? Why were you lying to yourself when you knew you still wanted this?

There was so much you’d put up with on your end- and sure, maybe you had no right to complain. You knew what you were getting into those few years ago. You knew who he was and how he was, but still. You hoped you’d get him to see reason. You knew you would-

A teenager shouldn’t have to go through all that. Not even an adult should, but of course, perhaps an adult could better process it. An adult wouldn’t struggle so hard, and that’s only because their brains aren’t still working to fully develop themselves and the body they inhabit. Struggling with something so hard so young.. it does things to you and those around you. It does things to your relationships.

Funnily enough, the same could be said of a teen simply having a romantic relationship at all. Yet, the latter doesn’t have you bearing the weight of the world upon your still growing shoulders.

You struggled to hold that weight with him. Nights filled with the metallic scent and taste of blood were the norm. Those nights always felt panicky or hurt- those nights always caused arguments and overpowering feelings of helplessness. You weren’t built to be a damsel in distress, but you knew your limits. He surpassed them, but even he had his own, and as much as you wished they were endless, they weren’t. That night when he didn’t come home- that day when all the world saw was ash.. that was almost the final straw. How crazy is it that it wasn’t?

That months of mourning and horrific questions and theories, wasn’t entirely the cause of this? Months of staring out your window and just hoping he was lost and not.. gone. So much time spent feeling like you could have prevented it somehow- and feeling like you didn’t savor enough of the good moments. The hand holding, the sweet kisses and sweet murmurs of affection under stars- none of it felt like enough. Not enough to sate you or make you feel like yourself..

❝I’ᴍ sᴏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ sᴏʀʀʏ, I’ᴍ sᴏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ sᴏʀʀʏ..❞

Seeing his face again was almost like having whiplash- only ten times worse.

You’d only dreamt of seeing him again, of getting to touch him and feel his hands holding you close. Only in your dreams did you get to feel like.. he had never left. You wanted to punch him, but you also wanted to hug him. All you could settle for was breaking down. Your knees gave out from under you, and he caught your crumpling form, allowing you to thrash at him because he was sure he deserved it. You both knew he didn’t, but feelings never really align with logic. Feelings do as they pleased, especially when they decided to consume you.

You cried until you couldn’t- until your throat was scratchy and your body felt weak.

“I’m sorry..”, he tells you, and you just shake your head.

“I am too.”

He doesn’t know, and maybe he never will, but the sorry wasn’t for hitting him. It wasn’t for him having to see you like this. It was because he was one of many, that had to watch themselves go- only his was worse. You were sure his senses screamed at him, that his powers tried to alert him and or stop it all, but they failed. He had to feel himself wither away, and you could only imagine what that might feel like for a Junior in High School. For a growing young man.

“I broke my promise though. I want you to know I never meant to and you were all I could-”

“Please.”, you cut him off as quick as you could, “Please, I just.. you’re here now and I.. I don’t want to think of any of that..”

“Okay. I understand.”, he says, and he does. No one wants to be told they were the last thing to be thought of. True, it means well but.. no one wants to lose someone. They don’t want to think of their lats thoughts or last words. They just want them with them, alive and well. He did his best to give you that.

“Thank you.”

❝Yᴇᴀʜ, I’ᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ’ ᴅᴀʏ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ʟᴇғᴛ. Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀɴᴅs ʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅ..❞

Days were hard and nights were long. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking that night. He just knew he had to fix this, his gut was telling him he needed to fix this. You walked through hell with him, held his hand while the whole world was engulfed in flames and he had the utter audacity to let you go? To let you slip through his fingers when you were doing your best to stay? To help?

He was in the wrong and he was sure of it. He was wrong for expecting none of his life to affect you. For allowing himself to think that because you’re not experiencing anything he has firsthand, that you had no room to say anything. You’d watched him get beat down- get damn near killed on a few occasions. Fuck- you even lost him once. You went entire hours and days and weeks and months just.. without him. Not from a break up or vacation or something normal. For you, he was dead, and something like that is horrifically traumatic at best, even if he was here now. No amount of promises can fix that. There will always be that bit of fear stuck in you, and you had every right to keep it there.

You have every right to tell him what you told him- to ask what you’ve asked.

He had no right to say what he said, and he’ll regret it his whole life long.

How could he say he didn’t need you? Lie right to your heartbroken face and get mad that you asked him to just once stop? To live for himself- to come home unscathed?

The broken look in your eyes absolutely broke him.. the sad soft tone to your voice- and then the anger. The bottled up rage and hurt, the venom in your words had absolutely paralyzed him, and then, in the silence, in the aftermath, he saw what he had done. He felt it when he woke up alone, warm sun on his back, but no warm body next to him. Soon the very scent of you was gone, your perfume no longer lingered, your clothes weren’t mixed in with his laundry basket- nothing. There was no trace of you.

It was a type of lonely he’d hoped to never experience. May stopped asking for you and only looked at him with sadness when you were mentioned. He never told her a thing- he assumed she figured it out, or maybe you told her.. he wasn’t sure.

He just needed you back, at any cost.

❝Aɴᴅ I’ᴍ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ, ᴀʟʟ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ..❞

“Oh, so you don’t need me, huh?”, you say, your voice is soft but tight, and he knows what’s going to happen next. He knows you well enough- he’s only taken in every last bit of you he could since he was sixteen. Only ever loved you since he learned what that was- what it really was. He liked to think you and him were the anomaly- a tiny percentage of teens that did know what love was..

“No. I-”

“You don’t? So you didn’t need me patching you up all those times so May wouldn’t lose her shit? So she wouldn’t flip the fuck out at her only nephew- at her only boy, risking his life constantly? Didn’t need me when you were as good as dead to the fucking world and May was so lost? Not last night when you were screaming in pain and couldn’t go to Tony because even he would tell you to cut the shit and let someone else handle it?!”

“He wouldn’t-”

“He would! You’re not doing this for the same reasons anymore! It’s not for your Uncle or May or even me! It’s only for you! Just for you because you’re still scarred from what happened and refuse to be beaten by anyone! You don’t want to feel helpless but fuck- think about how everyone else feels! We-”

“You’re all alive aren’t you?! Well and okay and safe, aren’t you?! I am doing it-”

“NO!”, you scream, and he goes quiet. The anger in him seems to just fizzle out. You’ve never screamed at him that way- the fire in your voice- the look in your eyes. It was torture.

“No.”, you hiss, “No we’re not okay. May is far from okay and I’m right with her. You’re throwing yourself at danger- you’re getting careless. The biggest threat to us all is gone Peter. He’s not coming back. He’s not in any of the villains you’ve fought. He won’t be in any future ones. You can relax- but you won’t. This fear is eating at you. You’re scared and you won’t even admit it anymore.”

“I’m not scared. I’m fine and I really don’t need you on my case about this. You’re better off leaving if you think I’m gonna stop. Go move on like you did when you thought I was gone.” The last part was a low blow and he knew it. You couldn’t know when he was coming back or if he was. It wasn’t even moving on. It was just doing what you could to not be drowned every waking moment of every day. Even if it meant laughing like nothing went wrong- like there was no gaping hole in your chest.

Even if it was with what friends you had left, even if, in the moment, it looked like you’d never missed him. Yes, he realized he was wrong when you gasped how you did. When you cried instantly and threw yourself into him- but some evil and minuscule voice in his head said it was lie. Though, that itself, was a huge lie.

“I can’t believe you’d-”

“Believe it.”, he had said, and by God he wishes he hadn’t.

❝Sᴏ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ, ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ sᴀᴅ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇsᴛ I’ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ. Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ I’ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ..❞

You never answer to unknown numbers. If they weren’t in your contacts and no one was set to call, they weren’t worth answering. Something in you had told you to answer the phone and for once- just once, you did. You almost hung up when your first few ‘Hello’s gained you no response. You didn’t know that sound of your voice sent him into shock for a moment or so. It had been so long since he heard it. He spoke so fast too, a nervous tick of his. Speedy and stuttery. It’s how he always had been, and you half-hated half-enjoyed the way it made your heart do flips in your chest. Butterflies rose up in you and you felt like a teen again.

It was insane how after all this time he still had you like that. How you knew his apologies were sincere and how you had missed him so so very much. he had missed you too- he was practically dying without.

“I’m like.. eleven minutes away from you by my webs I just- please. I want to see you- I want to talk this out. That was a low blow and I.. I was so wrong, about it all. I could use a break- I should have taken one- should have thought more of you and May when I was out doing what I was doing. I.. I don’t know about putting up the mask forever but.. I don’t need to fight everything. I sure as hell don’t need to fight you.. please.”, he had said.

“Okay but.. you’re only eleven minutes away from me if I keep driving like this for.. ha, eleven minutes. You’ll be farther if I just stop.”, you tease, just cause you could. You’d earned that much.

“... I’ll swing for a half hour- even longer just.. I miss you. I-.. god, please. I mean I understand but.. please..”

You sigh softly, unable to deny that you wanted this too, “I didn’t stay I’d stop driving. I’ll see you there.”

He lets out a breathy laugh of relief, “Great. I.. I’ll be there. Promise.”

“See you soon.”

❝Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ᴀᴡᴀʏ, sᴏ ᴡʜʏ ᴀʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʀᴇ?❞

“Maybe I deserve this..”, Peter sighed into his mask, overlooking the city from where he was perched. He had Karen keeping an eye out for you or your car. You had said eleven minutes. Karen detected one traffic incident but it was a route you never took. It was shorter, but accidents were frequent there. He didn’t dare look into what might be involved in that traffic incident. Not just because he didn’t want to be tempted to go check it out- but also because he knew his luck. He knew yours. He didn’t want to panic, but with every passing second, he was losing it.

All the worst case scenarios were running through his head. Every bad possible thing- because of course it’d happen. Of course the day he finally decides to call you- to get some courage and-

“She’s here.”, Karen says, and relief courses over him. You’re here and once he lays eyes on you he feels as weak as always. You’re still as he remembers and he swears it’s like you haven’t changed. He can feel you so near and you’d only just gotten there. Memories flooded through him and his longing grew. He missed you- oh fuck, he missed you so much. It took everything in him to not web you to him- but he couldn’t risk that, not now and not here. He had to make it seem like he didn’t notice you. You knew the drill. Years of being with him, you knew the risks and when it was alright to take them, now wasn’t the time. You had to play it safe. Anyone could be watching.

You stood by the building and waited like you were waiting on someone to come out. He kept his head forward but his eyes stayed on you. He was damn glad no one could see his eyes with the mask on. Karen kept a look out, being sure nothing was nearby. He had to wait on her all-clear, simply because his own emotions and wants fogged his rationality and focus, especially when it came to you. You’d always clouded his thoughts, even when he was out as Spider-Man. How could you not? You were and still are his everything. He’d always love you, even if this meeting didn’t go as he hoped. There was no one out there like you, there never would be.

“God- I want to jump down to her- she’s even looking at me with that little grin-”

“No, Peter. I have not given the all-clear. I am still searching and you have poor judgement with her.”

“Ouch, Karen- even you’re mad at me? Still?”

“I-”

Gunshots went off suddenly, someone was screaming about a drive-by but it wasn’t warning enough. He was up high and you were down there. He jumped but he wasn’t fast enough. Super-speed wasn’t in his arsenal of powers. Nothing helpful in the moment was, but he still tried. The very second he saw the gunfire nearing you, he jumped. He leaped for his very life, reached with all his might but you slipped away, stray bullets shocking you into falling. You fell right onto the concrete. People in passing were screaming- some started crying out of fear, dropping to the ground like flies. For every shot, three people went down. It was chaos and as selfish as it was, he only cared about you in the moment. Spider-Man wasn’t there, Peter was. Peter only needed to see you- he had to hope you were fine-

He hoped you were only grazed- begged for you to be fine.

“Please..”

He didn’t look, he didn’t pause, he went straight for the nearest hospital once he reached your limp body. Swinging high and fast- in a way he knew you’d hate if you were conscious- or just awake enough to know. You had to just be out from shock- nothing else- His adrenaline was pumping through him like mad- like never before. Harder than when he felt himself dying- quicker than anything ever. His breaths were ragged and raspy- raw and painful. His chest was tight and he had to fight to see through his tearing eyes. His fear was eating him alive, shaking his core and straining his muscles.

The nearest hospital seemed so far away. It seemed like thousands of miles- like his webs weren’t fast enough- and the warmth seeping into his suit wasn’t helping a damn thing. It was like it was weighing him down with every passing moment. Every second you weren’t yet at that hospital, he was losing his mind. Panic was absolutely consuming him and yet he continued.

“Please- oh my go- please- for fucks sake- not her!”

He screamed for a doctor once he landed- lost his mind as he ran in. He can’t remember what he yelled or who he scared. he didn’t care if this could get you labeled as someone Spider-Man knew. He could fight that battle later. He had to survive this one first.He had to let them get you on a gurney- had to ignore the splotches of dark red on you- had to forget how limp you felt. he only focused on your breaths, shallow as they were, they were something.

He hated that he had to change out of his suit- it meant he had to leave- and being alone was no help. He had to peel his suit off and ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach. Had to ignore the sickening warmth that stuck to him- sticky and noisy but he had to ignore it. Hopefully it was his blood and he couldn’t feel it. Maybe he had been grazed. The blood on his palms couldn’t be yours. He’d never be so unlucky- not like this not now or ever. It couldn’t be this way. He had to remember that as he ran back in- as he put on the facade that he’d heard from some friends or something and had to know your condition.

He had to play positive thoughts in his head like a mantra in his head as he waited on news. You couldn’t go- you promised. Years ago, you promised you’d be his girl forever. Even when you two fought- even when he was being a damned idiot. You’re his everything- you wouldn’t leave him. You swore- you even agreed to see him after the stupid shit he said.This couldn’t happen. He loved you, you loved him- how rare was that? A love worth fighting for, a love that went through hell and back? A love people wrote books and novels about- full on series that ended tragic for shock value. That couldn’t happen to him- he couldn’t be some cliche. You would be damned if you ever became some-

“Mr.Parker..”

His head shot up, “Yeah?”

The silence the followed was deafening. His heart thrummed in his ears as the nurse who called him beckoned him to follow. The very halls made his senses go off- there were people just hanging on the brink- there were people morning- people talking to someone hooked up to machines with no promise of waking. People saying goodbye- he wasn’t going to say goodbye- you never said goodbye. Once you learned his secret, it was never goodbye, only ever see you soon. It was because you knew. Goodbyes weren’t something he ever wanted to hear with a life like his. With losses like his. Peter grew to hate goodbyes as dumb and cliche as that sounded. You didn’t care though, you let him hate them and made sure not to say it. You had the chance to when you left him, but you didn’t. You didn’t stoop to his level and.. well, you didn’t want it to be goodbye. He had forced your hand-

The nurse led him to the Doctor in charge of your care. His face made Peter’s heart drop.

“Is sh-”

“I’m sorry..”

❝I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ sᴇʟʟ ᴍʏ sᴏᴜʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ..❞

“You promise you’ll be careful?”

“Only if you promise you’re my girl forever.”

You laugh softly and his chest feels like it might burst.”You’re silly, you know the answer to that.”

“Mhmm.. but I don’t? I’m oblivious, you know this considering you had to make the first move for us to even be like this.”

You roll your eyes playfully, “Well, you are right about that.. hmm..let’s see.”

He pouts, “Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that. You’re already my girl now, what’s so wrong with forever?”

You pretend to think, and it’s convincing enough to make him scared until you grin bigger than he’s ever seen. It was a smile he grew to adore, “Absolutely nothing Peter. I’ll always be here, even when you’re oblivious.. or dumb.. or-”

“No no, I get it. You don’t have to get specific.”

“You have to promise me too.”, you say.

“What?”

“Promise me you’re my dumb nerd forever?”

He makes a face, “Dumb nerd- I-”

“Promise.”, you insist, and he goes quiet, because now you’re serious. He gets why. He understands what you’re insinuating.His face softens and he accepts the rude description of him, only because you had called him yours.

He steals the softest kiss from your lips, grinning like a moron after, “You know better than I do that I’m only yours. Always. I was yours before you even knew it.”

“... You must think you’re so cool for kissing me first for once-”

“God- shut up! Let me live- just because you said those three words first doesn’t- hey! Don’t laugh! We were having a moment- I can’t-” and the rest dissolves into laughter.

In that moment he loved you so much, and he grew to love you even more. He wouldn’t trade you for the world. Not with you laughing like that- not with your smile like that. You were so beautiful then..

You were beautiful even now, as he laid you to rest with family, tears streaming down his face..

“You promised..”, he whispered, but no one could hear him. “You fucking promised and- god you were right there. I had you- I saved you- I’ve done it a thousand times why-”, he chokes on a sob, curling over to try and support himself but it’s not working. He’s crying out your name but you’re not responding.

You’re right fucking there, but you’re not moving and it’s absolutely killing him. You fought through everything with him- The Snap- villains that snapped his bones like twigs- beat him to a pulp. You were used as bait by a villain that knew too much- he saved you from them. From a falling building- from death- so what the fuck?

How is there no one for him to blame? No one he knew personally- no one but himself- but time and fate?

“It was only eleven minutes- god- I was ready to be done I swear- please- come back, I- Fuck.. god- I’m..”, he started to sob, “Come.. come home to me.. come... home with me..”

Everything was lost to sobs.. and not a damn soul could pry him from where you lay.

❝sᴏ ᴡʜʏ ᴀʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʀᴇ..❞

Making a new taglist soon but taggin @starksparker to be an ass. Also @grandmascottlang and @spiderboytotherescue

#peter parker #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker reader insert #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter x you #peter x reader #peter reader insert #peter fic #peter fanfic

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wherearemyglassesbro · 5 years

Note

Can I get some Czech headcannons she really doesn't get enough love.

I found this in my drafts!! Oops!!!

Idek what name to use so I’ll call her ‘Ana’ just so I’m not writing ‘she’ and ‘her’ one million times

Ana definitely cut her bangs when she was alone in her room at two in the morning. They came out okay!!...But Vlad(Romania) had to fix them for her

She has a collection of old time-y shoes! Her favorites are little black flats with big buckles on them!

Ana collects fashion magazines! Maybe the better way to describe it is hoarding. She loves flipping through pages of different clothes from aroudn the world. She doesn’t think that she can pull off a lot of looks but her friends are always encouraging her to try new things!

Lilli (Liecht.) comes over all the time for ‘girl time’. They braid each others’ hair and talk about how handsome different actors are :) typical teen girl things!

^^Ana enjoys making pretty hair bows for Lilli and sends them to her in the mail with sweets! Take that Jojo Siwa!

Oh boy!! Ana is a Just Dance enthusiast! She loves to dance, even if she isn’t that good at it! She’ll play that game for hours! And roping her friends into playing just lights up her world!

Her room is super ‘aesthetic’. She’s got flow-y curtains, a fuzzy rug and all sorts of potted plants. She hung Christmas lights around her room long before the whole fairy light trend came around!

She pretty much only wears vintage clothes. Ana goes to thrift stores a lot and uses old clothes to sew new ones! A lot of Nations wear designer clothes to events cause they’re being sponsored to do so but Ana never lets anyone sponsor her and will usually sport her own clothes in public!

Ana doesn’t have much of a social media presence at all. She has a private Snapchat and like...ten cat games where she plays with random people but no one knows it’s her! She prefers to keep her private life...private :)

#aph #hetalia #ask away!#headcanons #hetalia headcanons #asks #always up for hc requests #aph czechia #aph czech republic #hws czechia #aph liechtenstein #aph romania #hws romania #hws liechtenstein

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utopianvoices · 5 years

Text

phantasm | y.jeongin

↭ genre: ghost au, soulmate au; fluff, angst

↭ word count: 2.8k

↭ description: In which you end up getting lost and stranded in the middle of a party when you come face to face with the last person you’d expect.

↭ a.n: something new i wanted to try huehe lezgeddit. also a big shoutout to my favourite bub @whatisansvtbias <333 ily uwu (idek if you’re on tumblr anymore you busy raisin)

↭ warnings: mentions of drinking

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

“Y/n, wake up! It’s time for school!” you heard your favourite voice call out to you, shortly followed by something soft hitting your head repeatedly.

“Go away,” you grunt, pushing away the pillow that was prodding you, causing it to fall into the ground with a small ‘thud’. Not even 10 seconds later, the pillow is back to do its duty; making sure you woke up so that you aren’t late for school for the third time that week.

You finally give up, sitting up in bed while glaring at the boy who was sitting at your desk, swiveling around in your chair. “Curse you and your ghost abilities, Yang.”

“Already cursed, m’love. That’s why I’m even here,” was your reply, accompanied by a cheeky smile from the boy in front of you.

Rolling your eyes, you sluggishly slide off your bed, not bothering to wipe the drool off your face or to deal with the bird nest that was sitting on top of your head, earning you a fake gag from the phantom that had been watching your morning routine for the past few months.

“Why can’t you just use your ghost abilities to transport me to school? Just walk through a random wall with me and we’ll be in school in five seconds,” you whined as you sifted through your cupboard for that day’s outfit.

“Only I will be able to walk through the wall, dumbass. You’ll probably bang your head on the wall and lose the only brain cell you have,” your friend retorted, as you flipped him the bird for vocalising the cold, hard truth.

“Even dead, you’re a pain in the ass,” you said, back facing him as you finally picked out an outfit that prevented you from looking like you just walked out of your tombstone. “I bet the big dude up there didn’t want your insufferable attitude with him, hence you walking around earth aimlessly.”

“Shut up and get ready for school.”

Chuckling to yourself, your mind drifted to the first time you met Jeongin. It was one of the strangest days of your life, yet you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

The last thing you remembered was you entering some senior’s house, ready to celebrate finals being over as a first-year, and being convinced that having shots would be a good idea, especially when they had found out that you had never drank before owing to the fact that you were not really active in the.... partying scene. You were never one for parties — they were often too loud, and too chaotic — but your best friend, Jisung, who just so happened to be that popular first year, had convinced you that going to this party would be the best decision you would’ve ever made, because according to him, you quote, “Everyone needs to let loose sometimes, Y/n!”

But this decision was backfiring you in ways you hadn’t thought of, owing to the fact that you had drank way past your limit, mostly because you didn’t know what your limit was, having never drank alcohol before — causing you to stumble onto the streets away from the house hoping to get rid of the horrible stench of alcohol and vomit that was circulating in that enclosed space — only to realise that Jisung was unreachable, and that you were not sure how to find your way back to your apartment.

Maybe it was time to take some serious actions and drop Jisung’s ass because you really needed a new best friend. But then again, no matter how insufferable, Jisung was Jisung and you loved him way more than you let him on.

Five minutes of tapping away on your phone’s Google Maps, and you were ready to throw your phone across the street because of how bad the signal was. Seriously, wiping out your money in the name of phone bills every month and not even providing you with a decent signal when you most need it? Not cool, telecomm companies.

With nothing else to do, having given up on trying to find your way back, you decided to take a seat on the hard and cold curb, seeing that it was the only thing left there to provide you with any company, as you made yourself comfortable on the asphalt, feeling strangely calm even though you were completely clueless as to which way was home as the cold air nipped at your exposed skin.

It must be the alcohol.

To anyone who was walking down the street at this point — not that there were many at that time —it would have seemed as though you were another dumb teenager who had made certain questionable decisions, which had lead you to being stranded on the streets at such a time. So you weren’t really surprised when you heard a voice call you out on exactly that.

“I can’t believe this is the third person this week, tsk. Teenagers these days.”

With the alcohol hazing your mind, your instincts and reaction time were slowed down, making you react slightly late to this stranger’s voice. As your eyes focused on the owner of the voice, you used whatever was left of your observation skills to deduce that said person was a young boy, somewhere around your age, and very, very cute — causing you to hate yourself even more, for seeming like an idiot.

Unable to control your mouth, you spoke up and replied to the boy, the alcohol seemingly bringing out the hidden extrovert in you.

“Hey, this is the first time this has ever happened to me, don’t judge. Besides you don’t look any older than me.”

Not expecting a reply from you, the boy in front of you stood frozen, heartbeat (or lack thereof) picking up speed that a person had replied to him, let alone even seen him. How? It clearly wasn’t possible, owing to the fact that he wasn’t.... well, he wasn’t exactly human.

“Y-you can see me?” the boy in front of you stuttered, snapping out of his shock and raising a finger to point to himself. “And hear me too?”

Welp, maybe you weren’t the only drunk one abandoned on the streets that day. “Yea dude, of course I can see and hear you. Tall, black hair, brown eyes, quite cute. I see it all.”

Maybe you shouldn’t have added the cute part, but seeing the boy’s face flush red somehow made you feel less embarrassed about yourself.

“But how? How can you see me?” the boy continued questioning, still unable to comprehend the fact that after years of walking busy streets and still feeling lonely, all it took was one girl to make his cold body heat up and his dead heart to feel as if it had a sudden jumpstart.

“This is going to sound crazy,” you started — catching the boy’s attention with your dramatic words — "but I have these amazing things called eyes and ears. Oh, would you look at that! You have them too!"

"No, you don’t understand." the boy cut you off, shaking his head for extra effect. "I am a ghost. I cease to exist, and no one has been able to see me for years. So, how can you see me?"

"Ooookay, you know what? I think it’s time for me to get going," you said, as you slowly got up from the curb to run the hell away from this clearly drunk and mental boy.

I stay around him any longer and I will probably drive myself mental too.

"No, wait-"

The boy didn’t get to finish his sentence, as he watched your retreating figure run back in towards the house that still smelled of alcohol, sweat, and vomit.

Shoulders slumping, the boy walked away from the house, mind still whirring with all the possible explanations as to how you could see him. It wasn’t something that happened before, and he knew that he had to get to the bottom of it. Even if it meant that he’d have to use his long-hidden ghost abilities.

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

“I still can’t believe you waited till I woke up the next day, just to steal my voice away from me,” you said, recollecting your first sober encounter with your friend, as you walked side by side to the Building of Doom. School was just too boring for your liking.

"Well, if you had just shut up I wouldn’t have had to do it!” Jeongin defended himself, looking at you accusingly.

“Excuse me for being freaked out that a potential mad man was sitting in my chair!” you replied, sarcasm filling your tone as you shoved the boy beside you ever so slightly. “I still can’t understand why I’m the only one who can see and touch you.”

“Beats me too,” your friend sighed, falling into silence as soon as the sensitive topic was brought up. “Still no luck with finding it in the library?”

Since the day Jeongin had explained to you that you were the only one who could see and touch him and that was the reason why he had come after you, you had made it a mission to find out why things played out that way.

What made you so special that you were the only one who could interact with this cute ghost who had been wandering around so aimlessly — any and all hopes of finding peace — lost?

“Nope, not yet,” you spoke up. “But then again, I still have a few more books to go, so don’t lose hope yet.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, the rest of the walk continuing in silence.

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

Two coffees later, you’re still on your second book, titled The Supernatural World, trying so hard to find the answer to the riddle you so badly wanted to solve.

Not being able to do anything, Jeongin sat beside you, head rested on his palm as he observed you going through page after page, taking a sip of your now cold coffee every now and then, and your distinct habit of shaking your leg due to the caffeine overload.

“Stop staring at me, idiot, you’re making me lose concentration,” you said, forcing the blush that was threatening to rise to stay down as you will your eyes to stay on the book and not to glance up at the handsome boy sitting across you.

You would definitely be lying if you said that your heart didn’t race every time he looked at you for longer than a second.

But then again, so did his.

None of you wanted to pay heed to the fact that you belonged in two very different and completely opposite worlds. It was like primary school all over again, when all you could think about was your crush on the boy who fended off some bullies for you.

This wasn’t primary school though, where you desperately hid your crushes from one another in fears of being made fun of by other friends. Over the months of growing closer to one another, you both knew that you liked each other, the need for confessions proving useless.

The way your gazes lasted longer than necessary, and the small things you had done for each other was more than enough proof that there was something going on between the both of you, and there was no need to speak of it. Just embracing it was more than enough because, at the end of the day, you both knew that your worlds were too different for anything to happen.

And finally, you got the answer you were looking for, for months. Unconsciously holding your breath, your eyes skimmed over the words on the fourth chapter of the book, your pulse elevating with every word you read.

“It is not normal for a supernatural being to be left stranded in the mortal world. However, it would not be an uncommon occurrence. More often than not, there will be a single person who can see and touch this supernatural being, with no exceptions. This would then indicate that this person was the soulmate of the supernatural being. When either one of the soulmates remains in the mortal world, the other shall not be able to pass in peace.”

Your grip on the book tightened, as you re-read the paragraph over and over again, as you try to comprehend what the book was trying to say.

Soulmates? You and Jeongin?

Somehow you didn’t question it.

“Hey, you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out,” Jeongin asked, concern filling him up as he slowly pried the book away from your hands. You didn’t bother stopping him, as you carefully watched his expression while he read the paragraph. And you were not surprised to see the realisation dawn on his face.

Clearly, he didn’t question it as well.

“Soulmates, huh?” he asked quietly, after a long silence, gaze fixated on the table. “Who would’ve thought?”

You let out a light chuckle, heart still pounding against your ribcage as you watched your soulmate lift his head up to look at you, eyes exchanging unspoken words.

Your mind was whirring, different scenarios popping up one after another when your train of thought was cut off by the boy in front of you.

“I’m leaving, Y/n,” he spoke up, face displaying firmness as he delivered his decision. “I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back.”

You felt your heart sink, as you looked at him confused, hurt, trying to decipher his decision. “W-what? What do you mean you’re leaving? Why?”

“Because if I stay here, I will just be holding you back from your own life. You have many years ahead of you, Y/n. I’m not taking that away from you,” he replied, fists curling into balls as he lightly hits the table in frustration.

Anger filled you, as you stood up to match his stance, leaning against the table as you minimised the distance between the two of you. “That’s not your decision to make.”

“Maybe not,” he said, pulling back to restore the distance between the both of you. “But my decision is to leave, and that’s up to me, not you.”

“Don’t you dare break my heart, Yang Jeongin,” you threatened the boy in front of you, tears welling up in your eyes, already knowing that there was no other way.

Being a ghost made Jeongin immortal, and that would mean you spending the majority of your life with a ghost that never grew old, only reuniting the day you cease to exist. Although painful, leaving you was a necessary decision, and Jeongin was more than willing to give that up. Even if it meant spending a good amount of years in solitude.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his own eyes glistening as you slowly started to lose sight of him.

Right before completely disappearing, you heard him whisper something with so much sincerity that you broke down in the middle of the local library, heart shattering into so many pieces you’re not sure you can mend it fully.

“I love you, Y/n, and I will never stop loving you.”

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

The beeps from the heart monitor fill your ear, as you lay in the hospital bed, taking in the sight of your children and grandchildren.

“I’m not sure she has much time left,” you hear the doctor telling your family, the sound of sniffling following shortly after. “You might want to start saying your goodbyes now.”

The sight of your family piling into your room warmed your heart, knowing that you were not leaving this world alone.

Many years ago, you never would have thought that you would have moved on, started a family, and have many many grandchildren.

But life was full of surprises.

It took time — to heal your broken heart and move on as if nothing had happened — but all you had to do was convince yourself that this was what he would have wanted for you.

He chose to spend years and years in solitude just so that you could live yours filled with joy and happiness. The most you could do was give him what he wanted; the cute and sassy boy you adored so much that your heart hurt just thinking about him.

Not one day passed where you didn’t think of him; where he was, what he was doing, how he was feeling. But you knew that you weren’t the only one thinking of the other.

As your eyes traveled through the crowd, taking in the faces of your loved ones, one particular face standing right outside your room caught your eye.

Tall, black hair, brown eyes, very cute.

You’d never forget.

“It’s time to go, m’love,” you hear the voice you missed so dearly, surrounding you. “Just close your eyes and go to sleep. I’ll see you very soon.”

And with that promise, you closed your eyes, with a smile on your face, heart racing at the thought of the person you had so eagerly been waiting to see for years.

∞ end ∞

#skz-writersnet #skzwriters #district9net #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #yang jeongin imagines #i.n imagines #yang jeongin scenarios #i.n scenarios #yang jeongin #i.n #dee scribbles

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ais-n · 6 years

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Hi Ais! Sorry to bother you. I just need someone to talk to about this. I have been writing since i was like 15. My dream have always been to write a book. And i have started a lot of them but never finished anything. It’s like i get stuck at one point and feel my story is trash so i stop. Sometimes i find my plot boring and stupid and other times it’s my own inability to properly put it into words. I admire you and i wish i could write like you. I hope you never stop writing wonderful stories❤️

You’re so sweet, thank you!

I’m not sure if it would help to get a long ass rambling answer to this to encourage you to keep going based on my personal experience… but just in case it would, here goes:

It’s really hard to actually finish projects… starting them is so much easier. I get to a point where I’m like, “This is trash!” and/or I grow bored, and then I kind of peter out. I also have this unfortunate aspect of my personality where I figure I’m pretty unimportant and invisible, therefore what I have to say or write isn’t that particularly necessary for others to see, therefore it’s not that big of a deal if I just never post anything I did because I’d just be cluttering up the space where actual good writers or actual interesting people would be speaking instead.

Sometimes I just want to write a story to see where it goes, and then once I get to a point I can figure out how it will probably end, and if no one else is reading it or interested in it, I’m kind of like, well I know how it ends so I guess there’s no real point in writing the rest of it out or posting it because that’s just extra work for no reason. It was a combination of that thought process, and the feeling of “this is trash! Start over!” that had me writing and rewriting and dropping and restarting and editing and dropping and rewriting Incarnations since I was 12-14… I keep forgetting if I started at 12, 13, or 14 on that book. I think 14? But then maybe it was actually 13? idek.

Point being, that was a book that I started, stopped, started, stopped, dropped entirely, on and off for years. The idea would be really strong in my head but then sometimes I’d forget about it for years, then remember it for a while, then avoid it because I felt like a failure. What I know is when I first wrote it, I got 150 pages before I thought it was trash and totally stopped it. In the ensuing 15ish years, I would think of that world and want to do something in it but I just did not want to pick up where I had left off. So what I did was I kept starting new scenes, creating new characters, adding new aspects to the world, and each time I’d get a little ways into it and then go UGH THIS IS BORING or THIS IS TRASH and stop/drop it again, until the next time when I started something new again.

Around 2012, for Nanowrimo I tried starting it up again. I looked at the bits and pieces I’d written over the years, grabbed one of the scenes that seemed more interesting, started with that and ran with it. I met the requirements for nano, I liked the characters, I liked the new concept, but I still wasn’t sold on the book. I was kind of bored at the end of it because I didn’t fully know where I wanted to go with it… I was a little overwhelmed. It still didn’t really click with me to keep working on it again. I left it on the backburner for more years.

At one point, I created a Scrivener project for it, and then as the years passed and I’d get a brief idea for something, I’d go open it up and throw that info into a note, or add a new document exploring the idea, or whatever. Sometimes I’d write another short scene, other times I’d just do that and go.

Sometimes I tried to do other stuff related to it which was not writing the actual book… like I created some Sims to look like the characters, to see if I wanted to change anything in the description when I got an idea of it visually. Far more recently, I started making some of the key buildings in Sims so I could get inspired for more details on those. Are they accurate? Absolutely not. But they gave me ideas. Same as I tried to store the inspiration I’d get when watching tv shows or movies or whatever, and it would make me think of the characters or world or some other aspect. If I was inspired to write, I’d go write a note or scene right then, but if it was just a vague inspiration I would just try to focus on it when it was there, and really acknowledge the importance of feeling that inspiration, but then not actually do anything about it. But that would keep it in my mind.

Another thing I did when I really wanted to write was I would go to sleep thinking about an aspect of the story, to try to make myself dream something related, so I would wake up with inspiration.

I also tried to inspire myself by buying some physical organization materials – I got a bunch of whiteboards so I could figure things out by writing it out, and I got a huge roll of white butcher paper so I could hand draw massive timelines for the characters to lay out their events and see whose overlapped with whose; I got a corkboard and pinned index cards and sticky notes to it and then took different colored strings and connected them across the board according to various criteria. I got notebooks and wrote out ideas and notes on the magic system and all sorts of things. I had gotten to a point where I was glad to have all the digital information but sometimes I needed something physical to work on, something tangible, so I felt like I actually had accomplished something and it wasn’t just in my head. I also made a book cover for the book (digitally) to remind myself to keep working on it, and made a digital map of the world with the help of a friend who’s good with geology so I had a reference I could hang about my computer.

Every time I had a thought or idea, or I had this vague restlessness of wanting to work on something but not feeling like actually writing, I tried to do something else related to it in some form. Usually world building or character creation of some sort, but sometimes just thinking about things.

I tried a lot of things, but in all honesty I figured I would never, ever finish that story. But then one day, and I don’t even remember what the catalyst was to be honest, it just… clicked. I had an idea for something, and when I went to write down that idea or do whatever with it, I remembered other notes I’d left over the years, other scenes, and I started looking at the massive amount of information I had compiled - and I realized, holy shit, I know how to connect this all. I found a way to pull together a lot of stories I’d made which I thought were all totally disconnected, and bring them into one theme. And when I did that, all these questions I had for this or that aspect of this or that, suddenly had really interesting answers or ideas I could roll with.

I found a way to stop being bored. And now, when I find that I just really really don’t want to do the next thing, I try a few times to make myself do it if I’m just feeling like I’m being lazy, but if repeated attempts are unsuccessful then I throw myself a curveball in the story or plot or characters, and it becomes fun again to write and plot it out as I try to figure out how to integrate that. I do that until I run out of steam, and try the same things again.

Because of that, a couple of years ago, I finished the book, and I was really happy with it. I’m still proud of myself for finishing writing it, but now I’m on a two year slump of editing the damn thing.

When I think back to the original story I wrote when I was younger, versus the book it became now and the series it’s starting, they are VERY different despite the fact that have the same initial basis. In fact, the original heroine of the book is now technically sort of a villain. Her story is the same; I just flipped the perspective. The original book was very base; I mean, at the time, I felt it would be interesting to write because it was a young woman as the main character with all the power, at a time when almost all the main characters I found to read were young men.

But the thing is, it was otherwise a super basic concept. Young woman suddenly finds out she’s the chosen one, lots of cool magic, she goes through her whole storyline with how things affect the world around her, the end. The story might have worked and been interesting solely because I was like 14 when I wrote it; if it had been published then, people might have given me a bit of slack for some of the laziness just because I was young. But the story I have now, informed by decades of life and experience since then, is SO fucking much better than that book was originally. It’s way more complex, far more interesting, the worldbuilding is far beyond what I had before, the characters are more nuanced, the cast is more diverse, the prejudices are more tailored. I’m GLAD I put that book aside a million times. I’m GLAD I didn’t finish it any of the times I had it in my head I had to finish it by the time I was xyz age. I feel like the series it is now is going to be far beyond what it would have been if I’d run with the original idea.

You know what helped me A LOT in actually finishing it in the end? Aside from everything I said?

I asked some friends to beta read it for me. And the people who read it really liked it, and gave me ideas on how to improve it. Their interest renewed my own interest and gave me enthusiasm I sometimes lacked on my own. I care a hell of a lot more about actually finishing something if someone else cares if I finish it.

Someone once asked Neil Gaiman how to be a good writer and get published, and one of his biggest recommendations was to just finish writing a book. He also said not to conform; to write the story that you want to write, that is right for you. I feel the same way, which is nice because Neil Gaiman is super dope so I feel better that my feeling is reflected in an actual successful and great writer. I feel a little safer in having my weird ass view on things, which is that I don’t believe in genres, really, or rather I don’t really believe in writing a story specifically for the boxes checked off for a specific genre.

For me, anyway. It’s totally fine for others, if that’s their jam - there can be some great stories that way!

But for me, I literally just do not want to write a story at all if I have to make it fit someone else’s label. I lose all interest in it and give up completely. I think that’s probably because when I started writing, it was because I was a nerdy ass youngster who couldn’t find books that felt like they represented me exactly or what exactly I wanted to read, so I was kind of just like, “I guess I’ll write it, then.” There are tons of books out there that do fit the criteria of the genres, and they can be SUCH fun and good books to read… the people who write those books excel at that type of writing, and so if they tried doing anything else they would not be true to themselves.

We need those writers and we need those books. But we also need the writers and the books that just say fuck it to everything and do what they want. You may not be as popular, or you may find it difficult to go the traditional route; maybe you can’t become a full-time writer, if everything is stacked against you, I don’t know. But you can write what feels right for you, and there will always be readers out there who needed that book to feel right for them.

My hope for you is you don’t silence yourself and your stories like I tend to do. I hope you finish your books/stories, and I hope you share them. There is probably someone out there wishing your book existed, and until you write it, they won’t have that exact perspective and that exact story to read. Don’t get discouraged if it takes you a long time; and don’t downplay the value of walking away and not thinking about it for a while at a time. But I do think there’s definite value in always coming back.

So what I hope you do for yourself is find some easy way to compile all the different information you’ve formed for your book(s) over the years so that you make it really easy on yourself to add extra bits and pieces as you go. I hope that you do other things that aren’t specifically writing but still get your creativity going for the stories - whether that’s making Sims, drawing art, writing things out on paper or whiteboards, doing everything digitally, doing everything physically, whatever it may be. I hope you find ideally a few someones to read what you have so far, get their take on it, and I hope they are enthusiastic enough to help you keep it in the forefront of your mind.

I TOTALLY understand having wanted to be a writer since you were young… I have always wanted to be a writer, as far back as I can remember. (Of course, if you go back far enough, I also wanted to be a veterinarian or other things too).

My goal is still to someday be an actual author. I feel like I’m not, still, but maybe someday I will be.

I used to put a ton of pressure on myself to finish things by certain ages, and when I missed my goal I got depressed and thought I was the worst and why bother, no one wants to read it anyway, and etc etc etc. Also, for like 10 of those years I was working on ICoS and that really took my mental energy and creative interest as a focus so I didn’t really even want to work on my LGBTQIA+ fantasy books for a while. But as time passed, and objectively looking at the story I have now compared to the story it was before, I think it was far better that I didn’t force the story before I was ready to write it, but also that I didn’t let myself just put it off forever and never make myself work on it again.

There is no age limit to being a writer… first of all, you’re a writer if you write, so if you already wrote a bunch of books or parts of any stories - you are already a writer. You’ve already accomplished something awesome! But if your goal is to be a paid author/writer, then whether you are one now or one in 20 years or even 70, you still can be a writer. You still can fulfill that dream. Never give up on it, for yourself and for the diversity and complexity of the stories out there in the world, and for the readers who would want to see what you have to say.

Nanowrimo is next month… maybe you could start thinking about the stories you’ve worked on so far, see if any strike your fancy for exploring a bit further, or just take the general concept of one of the worlds and create a totally new set of characters and plotline on that world. Whether or not you end up liking that new plot, the new characters, it will still give you a more nuanced view of the world itself. It might spark an idea now or 20 years from now. It might, someday, be the key to finishing the story.

Don’t devalue the importance of those little bits and pieces, or the importance of taking your time but never giving up, or of even just talking the story out to others and seeing what they have to say. I constantly think what I write is boring and stupid, I constantly get suddenly bored with something and just cannot for the life of me write the next chapter no matter what because it sucks ass.

So I switch it up. I push aside for a moment what I thought I had to do next, and then I ask myself, “What can I add that would make me actually want to write this?” I’ve found that by doing that, you can get some super interesting new ideas that coordinate together out of nowhere later if you just keep going.

So maybe for nano, you can ask yourself, “What would I want to write in this world or this character’s life, etc, that would make me actually want to write it?” Completely forget about it fitting perfectly with what you have. Screw that. Just make it fun for you. I feel like it’s a very natural writer thing to do where even if you start with something that seems extremely disparate, as long as they’re following the same general world rules, eventually you’ll have an epiphany that ties it all together.

Also ask yourself, are you trying to make the characters conform to the plot, or letting the plot conform to the characters? If your world or characters want to veer totally off from what was planned, as long as it’s in character - follow them, not your plans. You wrote those plans when you had a limited understanding of the characters and world… the time you spent with them since then is valuable and shouldn’t be ignored. If they want to send you on a wild goose chase into the middle of nowhere when they’re supposed to be doing something else entirely, do it. Follow that goose. See where it leads you, and then see how fun it is trying to make your way back.

Maybe you can try that this nano (or just do a totally new story altogether if that’s your jam instead), and see where it takes you. Maybe you can find some people to read it, and maybe you can track all the info you put together, no matter how small and stupid it may seem. And maybe, someday, you’ll be able to look back years later like me, and thank your past self for never giving up and for keeping that information accessible so that one day, far down the line, you’d have everything you needed at your fingertips when a sudden idea inspires you to look at your story, characters, or world, from an angle you’d never considered before.

Also, fwiw, I like to always throw one thing in that’s a bit unexpected, if possible, into characters or plots. In all honesty, I do that in part because I get bored affffff very easily so I want to keep myself entertained. But it also makes for a lot more interest, I think, in the characters. Like, whatever the plot is, or the character is, think about what would be the easy next thing… think about what the stereotype of that would be. And then deliberately choose something either completely different or a little bit off in order to introduce intrigue.

ICoS, for example - Boyd was judged a lot for many things, and he wasn’t really good around people naturally. It would have been easy to say that because he was kind of socially distant/awkward he would suck at undercover, but to me that wasn’t interesting. Instead, he could go undercover and be very good at it when needed because, despite his natural reticence to trust others, he had spent his life watching other people trying to learn their behavior/mimic them to understand why people didn’t like him. So even though on his own he would hate going into a party or have no fucking clue what to say, if he was playing a character, he was very good at it because he had gathered that information for years. Instead of saying that because he was bullied he didn’t know how to deal with people, I said he knew how to deal with people because he was bullied.

Incarnations, for example - Vikenti is a magical cop who’s really grouchy, kind of rude, kind of a dick. He spends most of his time seemingly insulting everyone around him. It would have been easy to just make him be a dick cop who grumps on everyone and does nothing beyond the job. And yet, he’s taken under his wing a young woman who others see as a monster. A young woman who everyone who knows the story of their background would think he would have every reason to hate. And you also see him helping this random girl get a memento even though he easily could have ignored it because, ultimately, she had nothing to do with him. There’s also an Empath who’s a pretty good dude who has the biggest crush on him even though their sexual orientations don’t line up. Everyone wonders how this Empath can even like him when he’s such an asshole, but then you have to ask yourself, wouldn’t an Empath of all people know best who to trust and who not? There are scenes with Vikenti, who seems like a super straight and straight-laced dude who doesn’t know how to explore emotions beyond insulting people, where he is the one there who catches someone when they fall, or says just the right thing when it’s needed. Because he’s an asshole, but not an asshole. He cares but just doesn’t care.

So, if you’re bored with parts of your stories or characters, I also really encourage throwing dichotomy and contradictions in there. Take something solid on the story, and then think of something that seems to be at odds with that, and make that be a solid part of it too. Now you have something interesting to explore… how someone or something can be these two seemingly contradictory things in the same form. I find that can help me stay interested, too.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough and am probably not very helpful, I’m sorry :( I just wanted you to know I totally know what you mean, and precisely because of that, I know without a doubt you can do this. You will finish the story or stories you need to finish. I 100% believe in you, and I hope you can get to a point where you 100% believe in yourself too.

Happy writing, my friend! You are going to finish your stories and they’re going to be fantastic! And if they aren’t fantastic the first draft, that’s the way it is for pretty much everyone - all you have to do is keep working on them until they are. You will absolutely get there, because it’s a journey you already started long ago. You’ve come this far and there’s a lot more waiting for you as you go forward. My writing voice is no better or worse than anyone else’s, it’s just what feels right for me. Your writing voice is yours and therefore inherently lovely. Which means, if you wish you could write like me, you absolutely can: by writing like yourself. I bet you already are, you just can’t see it because of how stressful it can be in the middle of the millionth project feeling like you got nowhere previously. But if you keep going, keep pushing, I know you won’t regret it later, and I know the story you end up finishing will be exactly the story you needed to write at that time, and somewhere out there in this world, someone will be incredibly grateful to you for having written and shared it.

(Oh btw the thing I was talking about is Incarnations - and the first 4 chapters are out free here if you want context on the stuff I mentioned, in case somehow it helps? I really need to edit it… I keep putting it off, but your message is making me want to start it up again, so thank you!

#ask ais #writing #incarnations #wildwood rising #I talk a little about icos but feel like I shouldn't tag that?#idk #anyway the tl;dr on this is you can totally do it!#i believe in you! :D #Anonymous

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floofyeol · 7 years

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WIP Tag

I was tagged by the lovely @vonseok!!

I have so many unfinished drafts in google docs tbh..and Idk if i’m going to continue them all. So I’m gonna post some stuff that I think I might post someday?? Idk man I’m so undecisive...

how to kill a man

genre: au, fluff, angst

summary: how do you kill a man, you ask? give him the one person he could love more than anyone or anything, and tell him he can’t love them.

I’ve never hated anything before. But now I know I’ll never hate anything else as much as I hate what life has made us to be. Ever since that day we were on the beach—the sand in your hair, waves washing between your feet, and my fingers filling the space between your fingers my hands are meant to hold yours, I’ve never been more sure of anything else and the sunset as our witness.

I was 22 and in love.

You were 19 when you told me you were too.

But now you’re 21 without me by your side.

I’m 24 and slowly dying inside.

— Not a day goes by where I stopped thinking of you. I am incomplete and lost and scared, and gosh I really need you but I can’t stay with you Kim Taehyung

the crack of a door

genre: neighbor!au, fluff, slight angst

summary: [Name] can’t stand summer, or its heat. when she opens her door in hopes to make her apartment cooler, she didn’t think the neighbor adjacent to her will do too. and so, their opened doors became the stepping stone as they got to know each other. he’s loud and funny, with a really cute dog and great taste in music. that’s all that he is, she says. that is, until his door closes on her.

Now, it all began on the first week of this year’s summer. The sweltering heat created a rather stuffy atmosphere that neither apartment neighbor can bear. She was the first to think of opening the door and inviting the fresh air in her apartment.

Chanyeol just happened to pass by one day while her door was open, stinky and sticky after a day outside with his friends. He too desired fresh air, and as one door open, so did the other just across from it. Pretty soon, they could hear each other’s music and little hums playing from across them, then the small exchange of quips and comments started, quickly followed by shy flirting and jokes. And now, entering the first month of summer, they have established themselves as more than just neighbors.

“Sure thing, Chanyeol.” She smiles, playing along with his little game.

Though there’s a distance between them as they filter through each other’s lives in their respective apartments, Chanyeol can still spot the smile she’s trying to hide. His one eyebrow is drawn up, confused, but in a pleasant way, at the way she smiles.

“Well, someone’s in an awfully good mood. And as I recall it, it’s summer, so something must be up for you to be smiling like that at—” he glances at the clock hanging on his wall, “10 AM? Wow.” He chuckles when she turns to him with a less than pleased frown.

Though he’s right, [Name] doesn’t need to further inflate his ego or make her growing crush on him more apparent. So she can only flip him off with a stick of his tongue.

the bones beneath your skin

genre: bodyguard!au, fluff, angst

summary: do kyungsoo is cursed with never being able to feel someone else’s skin under his touch without decreasing their life span. it’s not a surprise that he’s distant, cold, and has an odd taste for thick and black clothing which he always wear (even in summer). when he got a job as an actress’ bodyguard, he realizes his mistake too late when she began harboring an obvious crush on him, and his lonely heart inevitably reciprocates her.

“Hey, Kyungsoo.” As he raises an eyebrow in response, [Name] thinks.

He is comparable to the many other actors she’s had the pleasure of working with: plump heart shaped lips, a set of stone cold gaze under undeniably gorgeous eyes, distinctive facial features that while not perfect, still is to die for, and a voice that entails all the good dreams she’s ever had.

She’s being dramatic, yes, but it’s not as if none of it are true.

“You’re staring.”

His eyes are still on the magazine pages. But the way his adam’s apple bob and his fingers fidget as he pinches the corner of the page makes her wonder if he’s really been reading or just looking for a reason not to look at her.

“So? I’m not invading your space, though.” She reasons with a smile that’s so amused at how awkward he seems, reading in the corner of the room, pinned by her stare.

Kyungsoo’s shoulders are drawn back and stiff, his fingers crumple the pages he was pinching before finally he lands his half-hearted glare on her.

Still have so much to do for school..so Idk if any of these will be posted soon..haha...

I’m going to tag @jeonseok @zephyoongist @taesthetes (cat we haven’t talked in forever omg, idek if i deserve to tag you..) @jngukie

#larants #tags

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fengbi · 7 years

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Halcyon

Pairing: Adrienette Tags: Aged Up, Fluff, idek Summary: Adrienette is trending online because of a Buzzfeed article. So, Adrien and Marinette read it together.

“Top 8 times Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng were ‘hashtag couple goals’?” Marinette read aloud. “Well, this should be interesting.”

“Princess! Look at this! We’re trending again!” Adrien excitedly burst into the living room with his laptop in tow.

“Mmm,” Marinette hummed distractedly in response. She was perched on the couch, knees tucked against her chest. Absentmindedly, she doodled sketches in a notepad, already brainstorming for next year’s spring collection. Her debut weeks earlier at the Paris Fashion Week for Menswear and Haute Couture had been a massive success. The critics had loved her Tikki line and she was already overwhelmed with how many retailers were interested in Tikki. Certainly, Marinette was thrilled, but she had almost no employees and needed to begin mass production on Tikki.

And with the next fashion week coming up in two weeks, Marinette was scrambling a bit.

A couple metres before her, the TV was airing some cheesy Chinese dating show that Marinette had flipped to fill the room with some background noise.

“Bugaboo,” Adrien whined, slightly put down by Marinette’s lack of interest. “We’re trending!”

Again, Marinette hummed in acknowledgement but continued her doodling without looking up from her paper.

Frowning, Adrien placed his laptop on the vacant spot beside Marinette. He moved to stand behind the couch, directly behind Marinette and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Princess, you’re so tense. You should take a break before your muscles shrivel up,” Adrien said, fingers rubbing circles against Marinette’s neck and back.

“Mmm I only have two weeks to have my collection ready for Paris Fashion Week,” Marinette protested Adrien’s distraction, but still tilted her head back in pleasure. “I’m only halfway finished stitching the last revision for my Miraculous line and I’m so behind and I’ve already had critics and investors asking about stuff for next year and I don’t even know anything about math or investing and --”

“But you aren’t sewing right now,” Adrien said as he increased the pressure he was exerting on Marinette’s sore muscles. “And you haven’t taken a break in months. Mari, you can’t forget to take of yourself.”

Marinette tried to turn around to face Adrien, but his grip on her shoulders kept her facing forward. “I’m taking a break right now! From stitching! I can handle it!”

“Doing more work isn’t a break, Princess,” Adrien stopped Marinette’s tirade, continuing to massage her tense muscles. “You hired employees for a reason. Juleka can handle mass production and touch ups. Max will deal with the business side of things.”

“But I always hand stitch the runway outfits --”

Adrien cut off Marinette’s protests, “And you still have two weeks to do that. Come on, Princess, humour me.”

Huffing, Marinette leaned into Adrien’s hands. She set her pencil and sketchbook to the side and let Adrien ease the knots out of her back. Though she was loath to admit, Adrien’s hands felt like heaven against her tight muscles.

Satisfied that Marinette was finally taking a proper break, Adrien released one of her shoulders to reach for the laptop he had left beside her earlier.

“So as I was saying earlier,” Adrien placed the laptop into Marinette now vacant lap, “we’re trending again! Apparently Buzzfeed wrote this article on us and now we’re trending. I thought we could go through it together.”

“Top 8 times Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng were ‘hashtag couple goals’?” Marinette read aloud. “Well this should be interesting. ‘Eight: that time when Adrien and Marinette dressed up as Ladybug and Chat Noir for Halloween.’ I can’t believe this is listed! It was only because I forgot about Halloween!”

Underneath the caption was a photo Adrien had shared on his Instagram during Alya’s Halloween party a couple years back. He and Marinette had “switched” miraculous, with Marinette being Chatte Noire and Adrien being Ladybug. Marinette had even tied two little pigtails into Adrien’s hair to complete the look. Using her old red ribbons, of course.

Smirking, Adrien said, “Well I, for one, can believe it. I do make a purr-fect ladybug after all. And you know how Americans always make a big deal about Halloween. Plus, we have the best Ladybug and Chat Noir costumes in the world since you made them.” Adrien leaned down to place a kiss on the side of Marinette’s head.

“I do know a bit more about Ladybug and Chat Noir’s outfits than the average retailer.”

“How did you ever manage to get Chat’s tail to stay off the ground, though?”

Tilting her head back so Adrien could see her face, Marinette grinned cheekily. “Now that, mon chaton, is privileged information.”

Feigning hurt, Adrien cried dramatically, “Oh, how you wound me!” Whilst Marinette laughed at his dramatics, Adrien leaned forward to scroll down the page. “‘Seven: when Adrien and Marinette shared Adrien’s pocket’. Oh that was in Québec! Remember? During Carnival? We had so much maple syrup that day! I think father would have had a stroke if he’d known how much sugar I had that day.”

“Natalie would too,” Marinette laughed. She had imagined a comical and over dramatic image of what she guessed Gabriel Agreste’s reaction to maple syrup would be. “But to be fair, you eat that much sugar everyday.”

“Father and Nathalie still cringe when anything remotely sweet are within a metre of my mouth. So do my model friends.”

“Yes,” Marinette sighed melodramatically, “they have cringed the two times you have had the opportunity to consume sugar in their presence. Though I think your model friends cringe because of quantity of sweets you eat, not the sugar itself. You do eat far more than the recommended sugar intake. Like, a month’s worth of sugar everyday.”

“Still have that hot model bod though,” Adrien winked. “Carnival was great. We should go back sometime with Nino and Alya.”

“We could go snowshoeing! And we could do the team skis so Alya and I can kick your guys’ butts.”

“No way, it’s too cold in Canada. You’d be a frozen little Bugaboo without me.”

“I would not!” Marinette huffed indignantly.

“Princess, I hate to break it to you but you have no tolerance for the cold,” Adrien said in a teasing tone that clearly showed he did not hate breaking the news to Marinette at all. “You even had to stick your hand into my pocket to ward off frostbite,” he looked pointedly at the picture included in the article.

The photo had been sneakily taken by a fan, and it depicted Marinette and Adrien standing in line together for a sleigh ride. Adrien had stuffed his hands into his pockets. Indeed, Marinette had slipped one of her hands into Adrien’s pocket too.

“Well.”

“Well?” Adrien prompted her.

“Well maybe I just wanted to hold your hand.” A light blush tinted Marinette’s cheeks and Adrien couldn’t help but kiss her right then.

“Well I definitely wanted to hold your hand too,” Adrien smiled, kissing Marinette’s forehead before pulling away.

As Adrien resumed massaging Marinette’s back, Marinette scrolled further down the page.

“‘Six: when Adrien wears Marinette’s scarves.’”

Under the caption was a compilation of a dozen photos of Adrien at various events wearing an assortment of different scarves. Red scarves, green scarves, wool scarves, infinity scarves, and the classic blue scarf that had been Marinette’s first gift to him. Adrien was so notoriously picky about scarves that he only wore scarves tailored just for him. And that meant he only wore scarves designed by and hand knit by Marinette. And the press swooned over that fact.

“You do look pretty good in that red one,” Marinette remarked.

“Pretty good?” Adrien feigned offense. “I look purr-fectly fabulous in red!”

“But you haven’t worn that scarf in a while.”

Feeling that the tension had mostly left Marinette’s shoulders, Adrien moved to sit beside Marinette on the couch. One arm wrapped around her waist, his hand continued rubbing her back. “Red is my lucky colour. And that’s my lucky scarf. I have to save it for when my lucky charm isn’t around to ward off all the bad luck.”

“Mmm,” Marinette hummed, unconsciously leaning into Adrien’s side. “And what would that lucky charm be?” she asked innocently, knowing what the answer was.

Adrien pulled Marinette closer. “My princess, of course. The only one who looks better in red than me.” He ended his declaration with an affectionate tap on Marinette’s nose. She giggled, scrunching up her nose.

While Marinette was distracted, Adrien scrolled down to read the next caption. “‘Five: when Marinette tied Adrien’s tie’. Remember that? Our first red carpet together and you spent half of it fussing with my tie!”

Cheeks flushing, Marinette buried her face in Adrien’s chest. “It was crooked,” she said, voice muffled by Adrien’s shirt. “I couldn’t let you walk down the red carpet with a crooked tie! The fashion critics would have slaughtered you!”

“I bet I could make crooked ties fashionable. I’d rock that rebel bad boy look,” Adrien laughed as Marinette tried to burrow deeper into his chest. “Those photographers were so desperate to get you to just look at them. I guess pictures of your back just aren’t worth as much.”

“I had to fix your tie! What kind of girlfriend would I have been if I just let you, a world class supermodel, walk around all evening with a crooked tie!”

Adrien leaned closer to the laptop screen, feigning a closer examination of his tie in the photo. “Hmm, looks perfectly straight to me, my lady. You sure you needed the entire length of the carpet to fix it?”

“Okay, fine, I just didn’t want to look at all the cameras. That was my first red carpet!” Marinette jerked back, cheeks aflame. “The first time I had to be in front of cameras without Tikki! Without Ladybug! And it was all live and I couldn’t make a mistake!”

“I knew it!” Adrien laughed as Marinette glowered at him. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

Shifting so her back rested against Adrien’s side, Marinette grumbled. Still chuckling softly, Adrien read the next caption. “Four: When Adrien was asked what he loved about Marinette. Oh, I remember this interview! You were in China with Mama during this one so you never saw it, but this was a great interview.”

“....is this the one where you spent the entire fifteen minutes talking about me and nothing else? The station that banned you?”

“Hey, that’s only the condensed version of why I love you!” Adrien defended himself. “Those producers just have no taste.”

“Chaton, weren’t you supposed to be promoting your partnership with Unicef?”

“Well if they wanted to talk about Unicef, they shouldn’t have asked about you.”

Though Marinette sighed loudly, she couldn’t hide her smile. “You know, Alya still brings it up whenever she runs into annoying journalists.”

“Oh?”

“You should ask her about it. Apparently she once had to work with a fan of yours who had tried to sabotage her,” a soft smile remained on Marinette’s face as she looked at up Adrien. “Alya said the girl had a boyfriend and flaunted how much better he was than Nino.”

“Did Alya make her cry?”

“Maybe a little. I mean she’s basically condemned to run into people she doesn’t like in her line of work, but I just think it’s especially funny how that one turned out. You should have her tell you the whole story sometime. It ended with the girl falling into a fridge and knocking a pot of hot coffee onto their boss.”

Adrien made a sound of agreement. His hand had made its way to Marinette’s hip, rubbing soothing circles along her side. For a moment they sat in blissful silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence, before Marinette reached forward to continue down the article.

“Three: When Marinette wears Adrien’s clothes.”

Immediately after seeing the accompanying photos, Adrien laughed. A compilation of six photos was attached, all candids depicting Marinette looking very small in one of Adrien’s shirts or hoodies. “Princess, though I love the view of you in my clothes, perhaps you should stick to your own clothes when there are photographers nearby.”

“But your stuff is comfier,” Marinette pouted. “And you have pockets. Big pockets. Pockets that can actually hold things.”

“You can make yourself pockets.”

“Well maybe photographers should leave me alone,” Marinette poked Adrien’s cloth-covered stomach in retaliation for laughing at her.

“In that case, henceforth I vow to defend you from the vicious cameras, my lady.” Adrien brought Marinette’s hand to his lips to place a soft kiss on it.

As Marinette giggled, Adrien continued down the page. “Wow, we’re almost at the end! Two: When Adrien and Marinette set up a foundation together.”

“Well that was purr-etty great of us, if I do say so myself.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, “You only like it because the Purrity Foundation is a cat pun.”

“A life saving cat pun!” he defended, looking at the attached photo. It was him and Marinette surrounded by human trafficking victims and cats. At least a couple dozen cats. Not long after they gave up their miraculouses, Marinette fell into a deep depression when she realized she no longer had a constant companion to occupy her free time and defend others. She was struggling to come to terms with the fact that Marinette wasn’t able to help people on the same scale as Ladybug could. To cheer her up, Adrien established the Purrity Foundation in her name. As a successful model and designer, they had more than enough money to make a difference. So, Marinette decided she wanted to help victims of human trafficking. And Adrien decided that therapy cats were a great idea.

And somehow, it worked.

“I’m glad they’re doing okay now,” Marinette smiled.

“The cats or the humans?”

Elbowing Adrien in the gut, Marinette said, “Both. The kitties get happy forever homes and the humans get a companion and validation. I’ll mock your choice in name forever, Chaton, but thank you for Purrity.” She sat up to give Adrien a kiss.

“Anything for my lady.” Tucking a stray strand of dark hair behind her ear, Adrien cupped her cheek to kiss Marinette again. “Though the name is purrfect!”

Ignoring Adrien’s comment on the name, Marinette continued reading. “One: when Adrien and Marinette got married.”

“Of course it’s our wedding,” Adrien groaned.

With a raised eyebrow, Marinette looked at Adrien with a questioning gaze. “Are you surprised? The media goes insane over every wedding.”

“They didn’t even get photos of our wedding! They didn’t even know it happened until a week after when we shared a photo online ourselves. They only have that single photo from our wedding!”

“Actually,” Marinette interrupted Adrien’s tirade, “they have two photos. Alya posted a picture of my bouquet on her blog when she wrote the post congratulating us.” The picture in question had simply been another flower photo in the internet at first, until a fan made the connection between the bouquet Alya posted and the bundle of flowers in Marinette’s hands in her wedding portrait.

“The point is,” Adrien huffed, “we are plenty romantic without the wedding! What about every time I open the door for you or hold your purse. Or that time I did your hair for an interview! That is plenty romantic! Anyone can get married, but only my lady has a husband who can give her a perfect hairstyle!”

“My hero,” Marinette giggled, wrapping her arms around Adrien’s waist. “I hope you know, the only reason I married you was so I would never have to do my own hair.”

“Really now?” Adrien smirked, previous irritation gone. “And here I thought it was for my feline fine looks. And for my a-meow-zing puns, of course.” As he finished speaking, Adrien dug his fingers into Marinette’s sides, tickling her.

“Minou! Adrien! Ah!” Marinette shrieked.

Once Adrien’s tickling fingers retreated and Marinette regained her breath, she straightened her shirt and grinned at Adrien. “I’ll get you back for that!”

With a wink, Adrien smirked back. “I’ll hold you to that.”

Fluffytalk: First and foremost, I know almost nothing about the fashion industry and have never watched any runways or anything but based on what google and the official PFW site tell me, Paris Fashion Week happens twice a year in late February and September for women’s fashions. Men and Haute Couture is in January and June. I imagine this as a direct follow-up to Arsenic, which has our favourite kitty modelling our favourite bug’s line. So, that would have been the January show.

Carnival is like a Canadian Mardi Gras basically. We have a bonhomme, lots of maple syrup, hot chocolate, various impressive snow sculptures, horse sleighs, and the like. Also, lots and lots of maple syrup. Nomnom. ((Also there’s a lot of snow. It’s mid-April and it snowed about six inches the last two days ;w;))

And yes, Purrity is a play on Purity. I’m terrible at puns I’m sorry English isn’t my first language ^^;;

By the way, halcyon means peaceful, tranquil, etc.

Wow this is a disgustingly long author’s note. I’m not all that happy with this tbh but writer’s block is gross and it’s been over a year since I’ve last written anything worth sharing so.....

#adrienette #miraculousdaily #miraculous ladybug #LadyNoir #adrien agreste #marinette cheng #marichat #ladrien #adrien x marinette #adrienette fanfiction #ml fanfic

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peachyninis · 7 years

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2016-2017 School Year Reflection Masterpost✨

since the school year is coming to an end, i wanted to make a post about what worked and didn’t work for me, and also things i would like to try for the upcoming school year! i’ve noticed past years i tend to burn out around spring, so i’m trying what i can to prevent that!

so, i’ll start off with what didn’t work:

• using a 5-subject notebook for my classes – too many pages, I couldn’t fill up the whole notebook. Most of it is empty + it’s just way too big

• procrastinating – we’re all guilty of it, especially me. Every time I feel upset I do something else rather than work, and end up starting my work late at night, making me lose sleep

• making my notes too colorful – I found it better for me to stick to one color scheme every time I takes notes. For ex. One day red, the other blue, etc., rather than having the rainbow throw up on one page of paper. It gets too distracting and time consuming

• pens that are too thick – the ink bleeds through and most of the time your writing doesn’t look neat or coherent, you want your notes to be readable for you in the future so you don’t spend a long time trying to decipher what you wrote, use a .5 or .38 pen instead

• folders – rip easily, can’t organize well, need I say more

what worked:

• 1 ½ - 2 in. binder – LIFESAVER AND SPACE MAKER !! I used tabs to divide my classes and it’s just sooo much easier having everything in one place rather than all over the place in multiple forms of storage, making your bag even bulkier. They are also easier to organize as you can just flip through the binder rather than take out all the papers and sort through them like you would in a folder. Some classes may require you to have a big binder (usually 2 in) just for that class, but in my experience, I’d just transfer the work over when needed. If it’s a small 1 inch binder, it may not be a problem to bring it. This may not always work, as some teachers may require you to bring it everyday, but I’m just speaking from my experience.

• AN AGENDA - my lifeline, I literally do not know what I would do without it. Do NOT say you’ll just remember everything bc you WILL forget, that’s just how it works. I write down everything I have due in an agenda and if u want to be extra like me I also use the app Todoist for extra measure

• Write dates on all your work! – helps keep you chronologically organized as well as making it more efficient to find work when needed

• Dividing work between days – do NOT do 10 assignments in one night, I’ve done it and let me tell you, its not fun at all. Do a little every day, and it’s okay if you don’t meet your goal, doing something is more than nothing!

• Cleaning out your backpack every few weeks – I’m one of those people that kind of just let old gum packets load up in my bag (im srry its gross). Cleaning out your bag helps you feel more prepared in a way, imo its satisfying, makes me feel motivated. Less clutter makes you feel more organized

• Make flash cards of what you don’t know – I learn using repetition, and I found flashcards help a LOT, use different colored flashcards for different areas of a subject ex. Blue for historical people, pink for historical events, etc

• Knowing your boundaries – don’t stress yourself, don’t take a class you know you won’t be able to handle. At the end of the day, your physical and mental health are way more important. Take rests and drink lots of fluids

Treat urself once in awhile, remember u worked hard and u deserve it!!

what i want to try:

• Waking up early, I have a bad habit of sleeping in until the afternoon on days off, so I want to wake up early so I can get more work done!

• Using loose-leaf paper instead of notebooks, or maybe just using small notebooks for each class to prevent my backpack from getting bulky (still debating, pls recommend nice small notebooks if u can :-))

• SLEEPING EARLIER!!!!!!! I’ve been going to sleep so late and it messes up my whole schedule, idek how I got through this school year. I want to go to bed by 12 AM or earlier

• Eat healthier and be more active – I was doing good with this up until spring.. everything just crashed and burned lmao I need to learn how to cook so im healthier + my skin gets better • Be a little more organized + clean my stuff out more often • Use only one color scheme per week in each class (hoping to make a rainbow effect with my notes hehe)

i might add more later, and remember these r just methods that helped me, they may not apply to everyone ~

i’ll be posting a stationery haul soon so stay tuned for that :)

#school #studying #studyblr #study #studyspo #study motivation #study mood #notes #student #study inspiration #mildliner #pilot juice #motivation #tombow #muji #lihitlab #zebra sarasa

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #8: "The fajitas are truly guiding me" - Matt

OMG i made it to the merge. Im so happy but now let the game begin.

im so sad. dennis was such a king. and to be taken out by nick... like idek what to do with this merge. ppl i want to work with: nathan, maynor, brian, anna?, matt? idek if i wanna work with brian its just i like meeting new ppl NNN i wanna work with sharky too. but like nathan loves nick apparently. like... no ty!!! nicole... keaton? no ty! my preferred boot order is just keaton. nick. nicole. thats it idc!!! i dont wanna work with like og absolem tho bc theyre all tight without me but the other options arent good either EFKJDSAHKJ. i am waiting for redemption island twist pls and ty although my luck jaydne comes back NNn well these are initial thoughts woohoo

PHEWWWWWW I MADE MERGE BITCHES!!!!!! Honestly that tribal was so fucking cracked and all kicked off in 20 mins at the end with nick revealing he had an idol. and YEET i was so close to playing my idol as well. The fajitas are truly guiding me (even tho i am eating them tomorrow for lunch and I am very excited hehehe) Brian, myself and sharky are gonna align (tho not telling about the idol tho) so woooo lets go merge!

I hate my life. a forced self vote? no thanks. UGH TIME TO DIE!

WE FUCKING MERGED! And I got rid of Dennis. Which I do feel slightly bad about it but it was time to make a move. I playing loose this season and I'm going to see how far it takes me. I have alliances with Maynor, Brian, Nathan, Annabelle, Matt, Nick, and sort of Nicole so that puts me in a pretty good spot as long as I don't overplay and show my cards too soon. I've got to walk the line very carefully. And ngl careful is not my strong suit.

Ok now Let's rank my mergemates. 1) Brian- husband. 2) Matt- second husband. 3) Maynor- best man at my double wedding to Matt and Brian. 4) Annabelle- my fave underrated queen. 5) Nathan- I love him but check back in a few rounds ok. 6) Bryce- we barely talked but he loves Chi Chi Devayne so...I love him. 7) Nicole- ...every season needs a purple edit 8) Nick- cool kid but I'm sooo bitter about wanting him gone 3 tribals in a row 9) Keaton- who?

Well, merge is finally here and i get to reunite with Sharky. Which is great because he was my duo from the begining and now i have Keaton as my other duo.i also have Bryce as well. Nathan wants to work with keaton and I so thats good and i believe he’s tight with Annabelle so shell come along as well. Thats already 5 with me is 6. As long as none of them are targeted first vote and others are. Ill be sitting in a good spot. From here the first vote, i wouldnt mind voting out Nicole. Only one to yet to talk to me besides saying hi.

WEELLLLL!!! I merged, ladies (and lads)! I cannot believe it, but I have made it!! I think I know what my strong points are right now in my game and I just have to keep playing on them. I'm a lot stronger socially now and I want that to continue going into the merge. I have allies in every single little aspect of this game, and I want to ensure the people I'm not working with go first. So less than half of these hoes better watch their backs!

Now that I've merged and have freedom with who I want to work with, I'm definitely going to try and solidify my quad-some with Sharky, Nathan, and Annabelle as a final 4 alliance and also make sure that my other final alliances (one with Bryce, who I just met up with, and then one with Matt) also are stronger than ever before.

I usually do like cast run-downs and... idk... I haven't yet in this game, but I guess I will now going into the merge!!

Annabelle - A queent!! I absolutely love her and wish that a trio of Ariana stans (with Marie) could've gone through!! I can't wait to strengthen my bond with her and for us to slay this game together! Bryce - I may have just met Bryce in game, but I've known him for a little bit! We have never really had a full-on conversation, but we have talked in passing and in some League games. I've talked to him for like... 30 minutes so far... and he's already a top person in this game for me. Love him! Keaton - idk him, but he's already trash talked Marie to me... so .... bye ! Matt - I adore him... he's... an angel! I see myself working with him for a long time in this game, and I have to hope he feels the same hehe... Maynor - eh! I like him, but we don't.... click... so if he goes home... he goes home... :S... Nathan - LOVE HIM! He's so funny and so nice and he says we have a final 2, but girl... if we get to final 2 together it's by sheer luck because I shoreeee as hell know he's going hard or going home.... and I'm not playing that same balls to the walls type of game! Nick - LOL OK??? Idols replace social play and gameplay ig!!! Nicole - I just wish she was more active because I'd love to really put all my trust in her, but I don't really ever talk to her! Sharky - ANGEELLLL!!! Das my game hubby... I adore him so much... I really thought I was going to go into this game wanting to fuck him up with a lawn mower, but here I am putting all my eggs into his basket and trusting him completely... I hope I'm making the right decision! I know he's a big threat, but I just lahva him a lot! Ugh..

This challenge is very interesting. Im just hoping that I somehow get enough points to get the high amount. Immunity would be great. Still working out who i could work with and who i would target. I know for sure that im going to be with Keaton and Sharky. Still dont know about the others yet.

I do not want this immunity. There's like weird touchy subjects vibes. If I win it means a lot of people wanted me to get immunity so I'm well liked which will translate to "Threat". I told the jock destroyers to give me negative items. So hopefully if my other allies give me positive scores it will even out to a smooth 0 and I can stay relatively under the radar.

So I went idol hunting and I got closer than I had ever gotten before. I could just tell. So I gave Brian the info and told him where I went wrong. And he didn't find the idol but he DID find a steal a vote advantage! So Brian and I are getting a nice little tool belt around our waists. Now we just need to get all these people to do what we want.

Everyone is being really quiet. But thats okay because this gives Maynor and I a great opportunity to strategize. To my surprise he threw out Nicole's name! Which is great. It might be too soon to go for her because I've been talking Dinah strong for a few rounds now (even though I voted Dennis out). But it's still good to know that she's on his radar. Now the goal is just to set up a F5 alliance that Brian and I can ride to F6. Maynor and I still have The Scream Team alliance and I'm loyal to that. So if I can move forward with Maynor and Brian then I can just fill in the others as we go.

Okay SWIFT UPDATE. Maynor brought up Matt's name and I was basically like "Um...I don't want to do that" and then discovered that he doesn't think Nicole has his back at all. Which would undermine any Dinah strong stuff. And I'm not going to stick my neck out to save her over a vote on my side for a few more rounds. Especially if she might flip anyway. Hmm…

Now I'm getting a chance to talk game with Anna! This night is really picking up. Unfortunately she seems to have some animosity towards Matt. Why does everyone hate Matt? I think he's bloody awesome! Oh well. She also isn't a fan of Nicole or Keaton so I can direct her target that way for a few votes and for now we seem to be on the same page minus the Matt thing.

Sharky and I are still up at midnight. We came up with a tribal vote plan which is awesome. The target tonight is going to be Nicole. I feel like shes a threat and needs to go. Sharky and I created an ideal final 5 which is me, Sharky, Brian, Matt, amd Bryce. My side alliance is Keaton and Nathan. On the outs is Nick, Annabelle, and Nicole. We are saying that Keaton said Nicole’s name and that Nicole said Keaton’s name. But main targetbis Nicole. Hopefully this plan works and Nicole goes tonight.

Things are falling into place baby! So Maynor wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. He thinks he can get Bryce on board. Annabelle also wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. I know from The Jock Destroyers Alliance that she (and I) have Nathan's vote. Anna also says she wants to work with Bryce. And Bryce told her that he feels close to Maynor. (I'm realizing Bryce is a HUGE social threat and I'm not going to be able to keep him around for too long but for now he's a number on my side.) Now, both Maynor and Annabelle also love Brian. They both also know I can bring Nick to the table because Nick trusts me. So right now I perfectly situated in the middle of a 7 person voting block. Am I a mastermind?

CLASSIC ANNABELLE. I set up this whole majority situation and told her to choose Keaton or Nicole and we can make it happen. BUT SHE WON'T CHOOSE. I love her but she always does this. She's so about being quiet that she refuses to ever make a move. Last time we played together she said I was a bully and never asked her what she wanted. Now I'm trying to be a better ally and listen to her moves AND SHE WON'T MAKE ANY. So frustrating.

Having Keatons name out was good cuz now he wants to target Nicole because she is the other name thats been thrown out. My alliance of mkn is helping get the votes for Nicole which is great.

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so the names thrown out are keaton or nicole and its looking like nicole is gonna go bc ppl think shes a better player bc she gets far in tumblr games which like i guess is tea but its just sad that meta has a factor :( esp when shes like irrel in this game noah fence KJFADSHKFJAS. and like maynor prob has f2 with keaton.. but idc i guess she ghosts me all the time so w/e. im just hoping next round we can get like someone whos actually a threat out.

I WON IMMUNITY which means I made single digits! I'm so happy with myself... I didn't really do much to deserve it, but I'm so happy I won because it means I can be a little more ballsy this round with throwing out names and whatever!

I'm thinking of voting Keaton out as a sort of revenge for Marie, but Nicole's name is out there, too, and I just really want to make the right move to launch my game into the next round in an even better spot! I feel like the top of the world right now, and I want to keep that high. The immunity challenge showed that even though I think I'm a fucking mess, I'm doing well enough socially.

As for that, I want to quickly add in that I love all my allies so much. Sharky just helped me find a vote steal power which will be so useful for the long run of this game, and I cannot wait to use it to hopefully slay. Nathan and Annabelle are angels and are also really nice for me to bounce ideas off of. Bryce is just amazing to talk to and I really see him in my longterm plan. Matt's another person I see in my longterm plan. Ideally, this is probably my top 6... and I've since grown closer to Nick and we are working together "for the sake of Sharky", but I think he's more-so a side piece for me in this game!

So....I’m pretty certain I’m leaving because nobody wants to talk of anything of substance with me. It’s hard because I know I deserve to go, I haven’t been in a place mentally to give everything I need to, to this game. But that doesn’t mean I want to leave. It’s just hard, Dennis was my number one ally and now that he is gone it’s gonna be hard to reform my trust and alliances with everyone. Oof. It’s alright. Hoping that someone can use me as a vote about now but, don’t think that’s a possibility.

So I am keeping VERY quiet about my disadvantage, as I don't want anyone to know about it and jump on a bandwagon to use it against me! Like no thanks I'll pass. It looks like it'll either be Keaton or Nicole, would much rather it be Anna but she's immune smh. As long as my name ain't mentioned I'll be Gucci I hope. REEEE

Now that everyone is awake it's time to put in some work to execute the plan Anna/Maynor/myself made last night. We need to get everyone on board with voting Nicole. But I also need to make sure Nicole feels safe just in case she has an idol. I'm going to talk to Matt and Nick. As long as they vote Nicole we should be solid. I'm also going to start an alliance chat with the OG Dinah members so that we can talk about strategy and make sure Nicole feels safe with us. Then as long as everyone is telling the truth (cause no one ever lies in Survivor) it'll all be good.

Can i say that Sharky making a fake alliance chat with Nicole when we are planning on voting her out is very cold blooded. Like honesty doing it to try and throw off her scent of the vote is perfect.

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I’m so glad sharky seems to be much more transparent with me. I’m really excited to see how this goes tbh I feel like we’d make a good pair. We be played together before and I thought he would be made at me for like wanting him out in canadienne but yeah I’m excited for merge!

Okay the alliances just keep piling up. It's definitely going to cause an issue later on. But for now it's good. And the newest one, The FB Bois, is one I actually do plan on staying loyal too. I really trust Matt and Brian. I like them both a lot and I want to work with them. Hopefully they feel the same. F4 with Brian, Matt, Maynor is my goal.

We are coming close to tribal. Its nerve wracking cuz it looks like nicole hasnt scrambled so she might have an idol. Im going to see if my side alliance would vote for Matt (keaton and nathan). Just in case there is an idol played. But as far it looks like Nicole is going.

For once my name hasnt been a top priority! its crazy... I really dont know what to do about it but im loving it so much... lets just wait though until I get out in about 30 mins...

Nicole is voted out 6-3-1.

#episode #allmadhere

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survivorelara · 6 years

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Episode #10: “Im not his slave im his partner.” -Andrea

https://youtu.be/StsZDwB6I6E https://youtu.be/_LKpUMGO2jY

I just feel.. really good? I think anyways. I’ve been talking to Ci’ere a lot today and I’m realising that I don’t even try to have a social game, I just just be good at talking to people??? Idk. But yeah it’s mostly good.. I have a lot of people I want to go far with which means I’m gonna have to let everyone else control the vote so I don’t look like I’m betraying people maybe?? Or I can just do what’s best for me , but I don’t need to worry about that yet I’ve still got og auva to get rid of :)

Holy wow. Final 9. I made the halfway mark. That's legit scary and I feel like throwing up because I rarely make it this far. I think that I have been in the good graces of everyone... seeing that I am one of the 2 people who still have 0 votes against me. Like my social game is doing that well and as conceited as this may sound- I think that I have a good shot at winning this whole show! But I still have to vote out 6 or 7 more people. Still not sure how this end game will play out, but it is coming and it is coming like a bullet train.

Well, it's the F9, and I didn't win that challenge like I'd hoped. I'm unsure if there was an idol clue involved or not. I'm hopeful not, but we'll see. Regardless not good for me because I was hoping Drew H would go next.

I think my ideal target this round is Drew T. Just because he threw my name out last time and it was frustrating to heck to hear that.

Beyond that I feel like I'm running out of players I could beat at the end, but maybe I'm underselling myself, and I'm playing a great game. I'm playing in the middle at the moment, which either nobody's aware of that, or everyone is and they either don't care or are planning my demise as we speak...

Let's go find out then shall we! :D

death. okno but like idek whats goin on. I am tight w just about everyone. With my cool new no lying stage theres more confrontation but i like... still dont think im playing a poor game idk i could be fuck I just know that in 6 days Sam and I hit 1 year of GP. He was my closest ally there and hes turning into it here. I adore Loris, don't think I could vote him out, but Sam just is so similar to me strategy wise and we just click its disgusting. However, when I make my cutesy post talking about how amazing GP is and my #1 ally, we'll be in f7. No gucci. I dont wanna get voted out for him again. Im not his slave im his partner.

Well, I'm playing a dangerous game, and tonight I can totally see it being me, nobody's giving me any warning at the moment though, so I'm still hopeful that I'm going unnoticed.

I still haven't found that damn idol which I'm definitely gonna want in the near future so that I can make a couple more bolder moves.

I think my ideal F2 is Emma, and my ideal F3 is with one of Loris, Sam, or Ci'ere, which I can think of some valid points against/with all of them. The one I'm less sure of as a 3rd would be Ci'ere, but we'll see how the game shakes down, or if I even make it that far to think about it.

Ideally it's Drew T that goes this round, and then it's Andrea or Drew H next, and the other one comes after that. But again those ideal circumstances, who knows if it'll genuinely work out that way, or if I'll even be around long enough to see anything past this tribal. But I'm making plans, thinking about who's on the jury, what I have to do to get there, it's just a matter of... GETTING there.

this tribal is sad. that’s all. I don’t feel I have much else to say zzz :(

I hate being busy everyone is being too quit :(

Me at F11: Guys we need to vote out Emma, it's the right move!

Drew T.: I don't trust Ci'ere, we can't do a plan that banks on him being honest with us after last time. (Dylan leaves) Me at F10: Guys it HAS to be Andrea, even if we're forcing rocks, like let's fuckin go and play this game Roxy: I actually already voted for John (John leaves) Roxy at F9: I just don't think Kori is the right move, if it's not our call to make we're playing this game wrong YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT WE'RE PLAYING THIS GAME WRONG, WE'VE BEEN PLAYING IT WRONG ALL SEASON BECAUSE YOU WON'T PLAY BALL AND TAKE A SWING, AND THINK IT'S BETTER TO VOTE OUT PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING AND PROVEN TO WORK WITH US BUT NOW THIS IS WHERE WE ARE AND THERE IS ONE PATH TO MAJORITY AND IT'S ALREADY ROCKY AS FUCK SO NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR RIDICULOUS DOUBT. THAT TIME WAS FIVE DAYS AGO. WE'RE HERE NOW. I'm pretty sure it's gonna fail again and I"m pretty sure it's because of the people I'm with. I really should've aligned with Logan and Odd…

bruh this has been such a hectic round. basically im in the complete middle spot as a swing, and it seemed like it was a revati 4 against the auvas and ciere with me smack dab in the middle. but the thing is, I have alliances with everybody now, so I was at a complete loss on what I was going to do. I don't want drew t gone, but I also didnt want kori gone yet either, who the drews were proposing as a vote. The tricky thing is, after results last night kori came to me with a suggestion to vote andrea out, which made me know even more that the "revati 4" aren't this unbreakable tightly knit crew. so it really begs the question for me, what group of people will want to go to the end with me, and what group of people only want me around until like f6 or something

the best part is, I have a f3 alliance right now with loris and andrea, and 2 more secret f2 deals with roxy and kori, who nobody else in the game is aware of. it makes it that much more entertaining when loris and roxy don't trust one another, and it makes me the perfect middle man between these different "sides." then of course there is the obvious wanting to go to the end with drew t, but im not sure yet if I want to do that or not. I love the dude to pieces, but im not sure if its best for my game to stick with him long term or not. but for now, he trusts me wholeheartedly, and I wanted to repay him by working my ass off to save him this vote, since I have no intention of turning on the revatis since I know for a fact they aren't a tight group

so then comes this crazy idea that pops up in my head: why not get rid of ci'ere? he's lied to me once already, and he's in the most "disposable" position for me since I know for a fact right now I don't plan on going very far with him. because I know he'll just lie to me again if he has to. so ive been going to everyone and tryna convince them that drew going now wouldn't be as beneficial, seeing as he's a huge public target right now, and no one really "needs" ci'ere at this point.

so im hoping this works out, ci'ere leaving not only allows this whole auva vs revati thing to continue or whatever and let me stay in the middle, but it also allows me to hide behind people such as kori and the drews who I feel will always be targeted over me as long as they are in the game. ive worked my ass off, and so far I think it's paying off in the sense that im pretty well connected with everyone. but it also means I have to blindside that many more people to get myself to the end

theres also the possibility of the drews tryna use this vote change as a way to eliminate kori, which yeah would suck, and esp since ciere will know I went after him, but can he blame me? he lied to me already lol. and I mean, everyone other than ci'ere will still be aware that I tried to do what was best for them, like saving drew to the auva side, or not voting kori and voting in the minority with the revati side, so either way if this doesn't pan out how I want, I should really only have one person mad at me, and that one person isn't near as connected to people in this game as I am. so come at me bruh

god this has been such a stressful tribal, but whether I vote in the majority this time or not, if everything pans out the way I hope it will, i'll still have the trust of everyone I need in this game to still be able to keep my f2/3 deals I have so far

I will send a confessional AFTER THIS VOTE JESUS CHRISTUSUS LET ME LIVE HALLELUJAH

Yup, Kori pretty much just confirmed that he’s willing to go to the end with me. At the same time, Drew H. said that at least we know we can work together. From being at the bottom to being in a swing position right in the middle. I’m an important vote for both sides so this is stellar! It would seem that Drew T. thinks he can get Sam to flip this round btw. We’ll see if he can work his magic, but Sam specifically said he didn’t want Drew T. at the end because he’d win and he trusts me way more.

Omg, just when I felt like giving up in the codebreaker challenge I decided to keep pushing myself to find the page because I want a W & I ended up finding it! I believe I was the first person to get to the puzzle, but I’m not exactly sure because it says someone already complete it? I took longer than I had hoped on the puzzle portion & as soon as I finished Kori was being Kori. It seemed like he was trying to flex that he was finished so he might’ve beaten me ugh.

Anyway, Kori got exposed for lying to Auva 2.0 about his vote & all the heat is on him which is great! I’m kicking him under that bus just a bit to hopefully keep that target there.

Sam is telling Auva 2.0 that he wants to flip this round. Now let’s see if he goes through with that.

So I've been talking with Roxy, and it seems just about a sure thing that I'll be getting votes tonight. Loris was apparently putting my name UTB, and he decided to call me the mastermind for the John vote. WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN WANT JOHN GONE!

But sure let's see how this mess goes, I'm gonna take advantage where I can and do what I have to to come out unscathed.

Drew T is voted out 5-2-2.

#episode #flyinghigh

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